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hauntedselves · 2 years

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BPD parts are a thing?

Long wordy explanation under the cut, but TL;DR:

Yes, but they arent the same as alters. DID & OSDD-1 are the only disorders that include parts that are separate enough to be autonomous. The activation of different parts is what causes splitting (in a BPD sense).

The theory of structural dissociation (from The Haunted Self by Otto van der Hart, Ellert Nijenhuis & Kathy Steele) says that BPD & DID are on a spectrum, from PTSD → CPTSD → BPD → OSDD-1 → DID. These are all trauma disorders, and all involve dissociation to some degree. The TOSD is an explanation of identity fragmentation (parts) in these disorders.

PTSD has primary structural dissociation, CPTSD, BPD & OSDD-1 have secondary SD, and DID (and sometimes OSDD-1) has tertiary SD. Each disorder on the spectrum has what The Haunted Self calls Apparently Normal Parts (ANP) and Emotional Parts (EP). The ANP is numb, dissociated, avoidant of trauma and often can’t remember trauma very well (if at all). The EP is often stuck in the trauma memory, and becomes activated when the person is triggered.

In PTSD (primary SD), there is one ANP and one EP. The EP is the part that is active when someone is having a flashback, trauma nightmare, hypervigilance, or a fight or flight (or freeze, fawn, etc) response, etc.

In CPTSD, OSDD-1 & BPD, (secondary SD), there is one ANP and several EP. The EP hold different aspects of the trauma, and different trauma responses. There may be one EP for a freeze response, one for hypervigilance, one for flashbacks, and so on. In CPTSD, the EP are the same as in PTSD, plus ones that hold CPTSD symptoms like anger, negative self-image, etc. In OSDD-1, there will be EP who are the same as the ones found in PTSD & CPTSD, but there will also be EP who have their own separate sense of self and autonomy (which are alters). If there’s amnesia between the parts, it’s OSDD-1a.

Specific to BPD, EP will hold different attachment disruptions. One will hold idealisation and another devaluation, and conflict between them is what causes [BPD] splitting. There will be other EP that hold other things, like trauma responses, paranoia, and strong emotions, and so on. Conflict between EP is what causes unstable identity.

In DID (tertiary SD) there are more than one ANP and several EP. OSDD-1 would fall into tertiary SD if there is more than one ANP (which is usually the case with OSDD-1b). The EP in DID are the same as in OSDD-1 (mix of secondary SD type EP & alters).

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Some further reading on TOSD & BPD parts if you’re interested:

Mosquera et al., 'Early experience, structural dissociation, and emotional dysregulation in borderline personality disorder: the role of insecure and disorganized attachment', Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation (2014)

Marylène Cloitre, Donn W. Garvert, Brandon Weiss, Eve B. Carlson & Richard A. Bryant, 'Distinguishing PTSD, Complex PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder: A latent class analysis', European Journal of Psychotraumatology (2014)

Trauma and Dissociation website

DID Research website on TOSD

A couple of posts by this-is-not-dissociative: one, two, three

Nijenhuis, Steele, van der Hart, 'Trauma-Related Structural Dissociation of the Personality', Activitas Nervosa Superior (2010)

If you can get your hands on The Haunted Self it explains the TOSD (if you're not opposed to piracy, I recommend this site) - here's a pdf & here's an epub)

(sorry if this was way longer and in depth than you were asking... special interest went off!)

#there are other names for ANP & EP (like 'going on with life part' & 'trauma holding part') but THS uses these so #there are also parts that are a mix of ANP & EP #and parts wont really fall neatly into either category. its more of an explanatory framework than a hard and fast rule #dogasks #structural dissociation #theory of structural dissociation #bpd parts #dissociative parts #bpd info #bpd #osdd #osdd 1 #ptsd #cptsd parts #cptsd #ptsd parts #did parts #did

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rottmnt-residuum · 6 months

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Part 6 of Arc II (Part 32)

the elevator music is kokomo btw sksksk

⇇ | ⇽ | index | ⇾ (censored) | ⇾ (gore)

#rottmnt #rottmnt leonardo #residuum #rottmnt residuum comic #c #g #tw ptsd #me. naively: this sequence will only take four parts at most! easy #wrong #characters actually have to react to things and you know #have character #i blame my drafting process #also i realized that my natural dry wit and sarcasm a leo joke does not make #this boy is all puns and wordplay #and i am not naturally punny #...is my wordplay too subtle?

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biboomerangboi · 7 days

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Stucky fic writers were truly on something else because earlier this week I remembered the line “they can bury us in one coffin to save on lumber” and thought it was a lyric from like a fucking hoizer song or something along those lines only to go get a drink at 2am in my kitchen and be hit over the head with the reminder it’s actually from a Stucky Fic I read in 2017.

#best part it’s a really funny fic they just have PTSD #stucky #steve rogers #captain america #winter soldier #bucky barnes #Steve Rodger’s x Bucky Barnes #stucky fic #anyway it was ain’t not grave (can hold me down) by spitandvinger #link in the comments #zee rambles #zees 2am text posts

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 27 days

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Apple Seed 7: Demons

Charlie: (nestled into bed and surrounded by a maternity pillow to help prop up her heavy set baby belly) Are you sure you're alright with me going to bed early? I can stay up a little longer and help with the new residents' paperwork.

Vaggie: (cups Charlie's cheek and brushes her thumb over the bright red circle, slipping her finger into the well hidden dimple camouflaged underneath) I'm sure, hun. I can handle it just fine. I'll be in bed in about two- (checks the bedside clock) -two and a half hours.

Charlie: (pouts) But-

Vaggie: (presses a finger to Charlie's lips) No, no hables más, mi amor. You've been sleeping horribly for weeks. If you're tired, you should sleep. I can take over so you can rest. ¿Comprende?

Charlie: (huffs childishly but eyes slowly soften as she kisses Vaggie's finger) Yes, Ma'am. I understand. (snuggles under the covers and strokes her belly) I love you, Vaggie.

Vaggie: I love you too, querida. (kisses Charlie's forehead) Good night. (slowly exits the room and shuts the door with a soft click)

Vaggie: (sighs heavily and shuffles down the hall with an uneasy stride and hunch in her shoulders) Mierda... What am I going to do?

Vaggie: (enters the office and sits behind the desk, slowly opening a side drawer to reveal a hidden flask and pulling it out to take a pull of the liquor inside) Fuck.... Now, I'm drinking by myself because of this... Shit....

-Silence-

Vaggie: (bites her lip and pulls out her phone) I cannot believe I'm doing this. (dials the number and sets the phone to speaker)

-Brrrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrrd!-

Carmilla: Carmine Industries. State your business.

Vaggie: (nervous) Uh, hello, Ms. Carmine. This is Vaggie Morningstar.

Carmilla: I'm well aware who you are, Vaggie. That's the point of caller ID. What do you want?

Vaggie: (under her breath) Gee, aren't you just as perky as ever. (clears her throat) I'm... in need of some... ugh...shit.... advice.

Carmilla: .............I'm listening.

Vaggie: You have two daughters.

Carmilla: How astute of you.

Vaggie: Smartass comments aside! (gets quiet and nervous) How... do you do it?

Carmilla: ..........I must say. Normally, I'd pride myself on being able to understand most nonsensical babbling, but I'm not quite following yours. Elaborate.

Vaggie: (sighs and sinks into the chair) How do you do it? Hold your kids when you have blood on your hands? (stares at her palms and flinches as flashes of deep crimson blood stain her fingers before returning to normal)

Carmilla: I see. This is about your prior Exorcist work and the baby on the way, isn't it?

Vaggie: (nods sullenly before remembering that she's on a voice call) Fuck! Yes! This is about that! How can I hold a perfect little being after everything I've done?! After all the people I've killed here in Hell? (flood gates open as her emotions run wild and tears sting her eyes) I know Charlie has forgiven me, but what if I hurt them? What if... I'm not good enough?

Carmilla: .............

Vaggie: (slowly calms down and wipes the tears from her eyes)

Carmilla: (softly) Because when that child is born, the hands that you once used to kill will be used to protect something even more precious than you could ever imagine.

Vaggie: (blinks) Carmine?

Carmilla: That innocent, perfect little baby will rely on you for everything the moment they're born. Your wife will rely on you to help her shoulder the burden. Do you honestly think that child will care about the people you killed when they only know the love you've given it? The care you've provided to it and it's mother?

Vaggie: But.... what if I-

Carmilla: Taint it? (huffs a laugh) With what? Slightly sullied hands that may or may not be covered in spit up? A child isn't tainted by the past sins of a parent, stupid girl.

Vaggie: (glances at her hands and watches as the blood washes away to a gross, white milky substance and cringes at the thought of spit up) Not sure how much I want that either....

Carmilla: Just remember to burp the child thoroughly between changing breasts if the princess is breastfeeding, and especially after. It should help with any projectile vomiting.

Vaggie: (smiles softly and relaxes) Do... you have anymore words of maternal wisdom for me? I... uh... feel pretty useless right now.

Carmilla: Hmmph. (sits down at her desk and leans back in amusement) Grab a notebook, and I'll give you a few tricks of the trade.

#apple seed au #apple seed #part 7 #angst #chaggie #vaggie #pregnant charlie #charlie morningstar #carmilla carmine #nervous dad vaggie #ptsd #good grandma carmine #mama carmine #inner demons #mother - adopted daughter moments #thanks anon for requesting some light vaggie angst #thank you maricantstandyou for requesting some carmine advice

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loveinhawkins · 1 year

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It’s only once everything is okay that Dustin starts thinking there’s something deeply wrong with him.

They’re out of the danger zone, where hospital visits have almost become normal hangouts rather than something to sit through on tenterhooks. Eddie’s getting the all clear to go home soon, and Dustin feels like he’s finally, finally able to take a deep breath, and blow it all the way out.

Steve must feel it, too, because he starts drifting off halfway through one of their last visits, while Dustin’s telling Eddie how Tews got up on the roof last night.

Dustin’s not offended by Steve falling asleep—for one, Steve already heard the story on the ride to the hospital and, more importantly, Dustin’s pretty positive that he’s barely been sleeping, only just enough so he can safely drive his car.

Dustin pats his knee fondly as he gets up.

Even though he’s steadily swaying towards the end of the couch, Steve tries to rouse himself.

“Mm, Dustin, jus’… jus’ need ten minutes, then… give y’ride home…”

“It’s okay,” Dustin says. He gently pushes Steve’s shoulder, snorts when Steve’s head tips right onto the arm of the couch. “I’m gonna go call my mom.”

He knows Steve really must be exhausted when he doesn’t attempt an argument to counter that, just sighs with a murmured, “Hmm? If tha’s… ‘kay.”

From the bed, Eddie looks on with a smile. “Thanks, Henderson,” he says softly. “Wayne’s gonna come later, he can… give him a ride home.”

He yawns through his words, like just looking at Steve is making him sleepy, too.

They’ve been like that a lot recently, Dustin thinks, like their breathing falls into sync without them even trying.

He slips out of the room quietly. There’s something between Steve and Eddie, he can feel it—and although he can’t quite put a name to it yet, he knows it’s something delicate, like spun glass. He’s not going to be the one to disturb it.

When his mom comes to pick him up, it happens.

“Put your coat on, hon, it’s freezing out.”

Dustin rolls his eyes—it’s hardly that cold—but as he steps outside, the air hits his bare skin and—

He’s in The Upside Down, and the cold is in his throat, in his lungs, he can’t stop shaking with it, and Eddie, he’s—he’s not breathing—

“Dustin? The car’s parked this way, baby.”

Dustin breathes in, short and sharp. For a moment, he can still see it all: the lightning, the blue tint, the particles hanging in the air, and then, like blinking away a camera flash, it’s gone.

His mom frowns, steps closer. “Dusty? Oh, you look pale. Hope you’re not coming down with something. Early night tonight, okay?”

“Yeah,” Dustin says. Blinks. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

He tells himself it’s a one-off.

Then it happens again—inside the hospital this time.

Steve opens a window in Eddie’s room before heading to the vending machine—just a crack. Barely anything.

But the cold is so intense that it takes Dustin’s breath away.

He hears the bats. Feels the pain in his foot, burning white-hot as he runs, he has to run. Eddie. Screaming. He has to get to him now or he’ll—he’ll—

Dustin shuts the window with such force that the pane rattles.

Eddie glances over from where he’s standing, right in front of the tiny mirror on the wall; he’s been wringing out his still damp hair with a clean T-shirt that Dustin highly suspects belongs to Steve, unless Eddie’s suddenly taken to owning a Hawkins Phys. Ed uniform.

“Woah, that’s the window shut, I guess,” Eddie says lightly. “You cold?”

“A bit,” Dustin says, hopes it comes out normal.

It must do, because Eddie just shrugs and goes back to the mirror, fiddling with his curls, and Dustin would usually give him so much shit for that, but his chest is tight, and although logically, he knows he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, he can still feel the dampness of the ground, the dirt under his nails, Eddie’s blood…

“Did you just close that?” Steve says, jerking his head towards the window with a bemused look.

“I live to piss you off,” Dustin says.

Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, it’s your special talent,” Steve shoots back, monotone, but he’s grinning as he throws a candy bar at Dustin’s head.

3 Musketeers.

Dustin isn’t hungry, not even for nougat.

But he tears the wrapper anyway, takes a sizeable bite just for the sake of appearances.

Steve is catching Eddie’s eye in the mirror, and Eddie’s smiling, looking at Steve’s reflection; and although Dustin can hardly hear what they’re saying through the thud of his own heartbeat, their joy is obvious without words.

Because it’s over. It’s all over.

Dustin’s not gonna be the one to ruin this for them.

He won’t.

#dustin henderson has ptsd #with special love & thanks for the messages on my Dustin related fics ❤️ Tbd on amount of parts but will be on ao3 soon too ❤️#dustin henderson fic #steddie with dustin’s pov #henderfam #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #eddie and dustin #steve and dustin #steve x eddie #dustin henderson #steve harrington #eddie munson

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sp0o0kylights · 7 months

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"I feel him." El insists. "Alive."

She hasn't said his name since Will first raised them all over the walkie, but every person in the room knows who she means.

Not that Steve can say his name either.

"But we watched him die." Nancy says gently, before Dustin properly loses it from where he sits in the corner. "Owen's even sent someone back through to check."

"Yes." El agrees, but it's clear she's frustrated. "He died here. But he's not alive here, he's alive over there."

"In the Upside Down?" Steve asks, and pretends his voice isn't cracking with desperation and barely concealed hope.

"No!" El snaps, before taking a deep breath and collecting herself to try again. "Through the other gate."

"Okay." Hopper cuts in, hands waving in some kind of "stay calm" gesture. "El, honey, I think we're all still hung up about the other gate." He pauses, before adding. "And how Creel dying opened it."

El gives him a thousand yard stare.

"I'm getting the crayons." Joyce sighs as she stands up. In a mutter she continues, "Should have gotten them to begin with."

Silently, Steve agrees.

xXx Eddie xXx

It goes like this.

A bat breaks through the side of the trailer. It swoops low, teeth rattling, but it doesn't attack.

It emits an odd, echoing screech, before flying through the gate, to the Rightside-Up.

"Shit." Dustin curses wildly. "Shit, they're gonna try and invade!"

"I thought they were guarding the gate!" Eddie protests, as that echoing scream returns tenfold, coming from the mouths of too many demobats. “If they wanted to invade wouldn’t they have done that already!?”

"No, because Vecna was focused on opening more gates! This must be his plan--to open enough gates to push an army through. We have to lead them away!"

"Dustin-!" Eddie calls out desperately, but finds himself overwhelmed by bats as more and more break through.

He fights through them, trying to get to Dustin, trying to listen to what the kid’s screaming.

He can’t hear him.

Not over all the screeching, the beating bat wings and the thudding noises as they smack at his head. Their teeth snap, tearing into every piece of him they can reach.

Eddie doesn’t know how long he’s been surrounded, but he hears the trailer door bang open--and shut.

"Dustin!" He screams this time, voice as loud as he can make it.

The kid’s faster than he is.

He’d planned this--or at least, had thought about it long enough to get himself a solid head start, leaving Eddie scrambling after.

Fighting through the torrents of bats. Abandoning the gate because Hawkins can burn for all he cares--but there are people who don't deserve to go down with it.

People like Henderson, who have bright futures ahead of them.

Eddie tears his way towards Dustin, unthinking, just running.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid-!’ He thinks, but not at Dustin.

At himself, because he knows the kid. Knows what to expect from how he acts in games.

Steve even called it--and Eddie’s not stupid enough to think he was talking to both of them when he warned them about not being a hero. He was included purely because Dustin would fuss otherwise and they were short on time.

Dustin’s on the ground when Eddie finds him, and he whips his spear at the few dozen bats that attack him, their bodies circling, teeth biting.

He gets in two good hits before shit hits the fan.

To his right something explodes, flames high and reaching, a thunderous boom whipping out so loud that Eddie's ears ring.

A shockwave nearly takes him off his feet, bandana pulled from his head and freeing his hair.

Eddie crashes on the ground next to Dustin.

Sees all the blood and doesn't know what to do.

"Come on man." Eddie pleads. "Come on!"

He doesn't get an answer.

It goes like this.

Vecna’s dead.

The blast that killed him was from some kind of explosion that took out all of Creel House.

It fireballed skyward, and the Upside Down rapidly began doing….something, seconds after.

Returning, Eddie decides, to whatever it was before the asshole got thrown in here.

Or dying, maybe.

(This is easier to think about than the fact that no one could have survived that blast. That there's a black hole Eddie can see, and it has to wrap miles and miles around the Creel House because he's still near his trailer.

It the trees down the stupid hill didn't make it then Robin, and Nancy, and Steve--

He stops. Shakes his head.

If Eddie thinks about it, it will make it real.

He can't let it be real.),

The monsters all fall as one, dropping to the ground like puppets with cut strings.

Eddie had been pummeled by a few demobat bodies before he could get clear, though given how some still occasionally twitch and hop around weakly after, Vecna's death doesn't necessarily equal their own.

Madly, he crushes a few beneath his boots.

Knows that won't bring his friends back.

Stomps on a few more because he can't do anything about that, and he can't cry any harder.

It goes like this.

Eddie gets back topside to find Vecna's revenge in action.

It's an act worthy of a mad god, not that Eddie would ever give him such a title.

Hawkins wasn't split. It was consumed, with large portions falling deep into the earth that opened under it. Smoke chokes half the town from an outburst of fires, while downed trees and electrical lines make walking a chore.

The road is a cracked and pitted mess, littered with holes large enough to swallow entire cars.

Passage is nigh impossible by car, and downright dangerous by foot.

It makes Eddie want to sink to his knees in despair.

There were still people around, that first day.

There were still people around the second and fifth days too.

But then the monsters appear.

They're not the demobats, or demodogs or even the demogorgons that Eddie was told of.

They're something--else.

Mutated and mutating, taking on appearances that reflect both the Upside Down and the Right-Side Up (a term coined by one of the freshmen--Eddie can't recall which.)

Actual flowers, great purple and orange looking blooms sprout teeth and attack. Vines stick out of arcade cabinets, carting them around like a hermit crabs shell.

Some people breathe the falling little pieces of ash and suddenly aren't people anymore.

(It was Erica, who had coined the term. The Right-Side Up.

Erica who was also deceased, because the fucking explosion didn't just take out the Upside Down version of the Creel house, but the real one too.

Which meant Max and Lucas and Erica…

But Eddie's not thinking about that.)

It goes like this.

Wayne's gone.

He'd been at the plant when the Earth had swallowed it, his first day back to work because he'd used all his PTO trying to find Eddie.

The coworker who watched it happen makes sure to tell Eddie his uncle insisted he was innocent. That the old man never stopped looking.

Likewise, the trailer is gone.

It fell barely a day after Eddie had climbed out of it, one half eaten while the other teetered dangerously on the edge.

There's cops at the borders of the city.

They’re been commandeered by the military and the feds both, and people in heavy gear prowl around like guard dogs just waiting to be let off leash.

Helicopters fill the air, always circling and searching. Units of men and women begin parading around with guns as they escort tanks and other battle equipment through the streets.

They're looking for something besides the monsters, and they're happy to cut the phone lines and police the survivors to find it.

No one's allowed in--or out.

Eddie tries to escape the first few days, after he realizes everyone who knew the truth is gone.

Thinks maybe he can get to the Byers, and that super powered girl out in California, but keeps getting cut off.

Twice they've nearly caught him, which means twice Eddie has been forced to come to terms with the fact that he's one of the things they're after.

They know him by name.

They know he was involved in Creel's takedown.

Eddie"s not just being hunted by the town now.

He’s being hunted by the United States as a whole.

It goes like this.

Eddie doesn't want to die.

Can't bring himself to take his own life, forever too much of a coward.

So he berates himself while he hides.

Wonders what the fuck his plan is here.

Focuses on surviving, stealing food, sleeping in people he loves houses and hoping maybe some of them made it out.

(Given how Gareth's and Jeff's places are both untouched, he doesn't think they did.)

He’s never prayed before but now he’s praying to every deity he can think of. Hoping, wishing, that if he can’t get out alive, he at least goes down quickly.

It goes like this.

Steve Harrington walks out of the woods with a nailbat in his hands, like a blood soaked fever dream.

Eddie doesn't care.

He hugs him so hard his own ribs hurt and the crazy thing is Steve hugs him back even harder.

"You're alive." Eddie sobs, face buried in Steve's shoulder.,"You're alive, you're alive…"

Steve grips him for a moment before whispering back; "And so are you."

He pulls away and Eddie struggles against him, not ready to let go, fingers grasping at his shirt.

Steve strokes his hair, his stupid tangled, gross hair and Eddie looks at him, desperately needing the contact to prove that Steve is real.

That he’s here.

"I need you to listen--I'm not your Steve." Steve says, and Eddie’s so desperate for contact that the words don’t register for a moment.

Not that they make sense when they do.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"There’s a--okay.” Steve sighs, before saying; “I am going to absolutely blow the explanation, but I need you to trust me.”

“I do.” Eddie says, even as Steve fulfills his own prophecy, and gives a completely nonsensical explanation.

At the end of it, Eddie can’t bring himself to care.

As long as he has Steve back--even if it’s not technically his Steve, Eddie will follow him wherever he goes.

#MY COMPUTERS FIXED #HAVE MULTIPLE DIMENSION SHENANGINS #There's a part in Transformers MTMTE where this dudes husband gets murdered in a massacre in one dimension and due to Scientist Shenanigans #his husband gets him back by pulling him from another timeline where everyone ELSE died.#There's a lot of PTSD involved and i wanted that for Steddie so here we are.#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #0o0 fanfics #tw death #tw canonical and non canonical death #but like #they get better #sorta #is stealing someone from another dimension better #pre steddie #one day I will write actual steddie #stranger things fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort #I suppose specific #tw dustin death #though I dont really go into it #or any of them #and again #THEY GET BETTER LOL #sort of #also I need you to know the husbands from TF MTMTE are canonical husbands #thats important lol #they gay

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stagefoureddiediaz · 6 days

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Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .

How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good

#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to #just go along with what Helena wants or dictates #it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that #now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness #to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure #leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful #there is so much potential there #eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that #so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy #issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist #I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver #plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating #not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal #embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become #could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s #denying a fundamental aspect of who you are #even if you still can’t act upon it - it is easier to keep that part of you concealed #911 spoilers #911 Thinky thoughts #eddie diaz #I need this arc to be a thing so badly #911 abc

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sebastianstanisahotmf · 6 months

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Overworked

Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

A/N This is part two of the fic too many missions. However, there is a lot of angst in this fic. Idk what happened but I got a bit carried away and it gets really sad but it has a happy ending. Also, likes comments and reblogs are appreciated. All mistakes are my own so if you notice any feel free to comment below.

18+ MINORS DNI, THERE'S NOTHING EXPLICIT IN THIS FIC BUT THE FIRST PART HAS SMUT

Summary Bucky starts to take care of you when its actually him who needs taking care of

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/SITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings Fluff, angst (a lot) and Bucky has a flashback.

After Bucky helped you put the hoodie on, he put his other clothes back on. He proceeded to lift you up bridal style and take you to your shared floor of the tower.

“I’m capable of walking, you know,” you said while yawning.

“I know babydoll, but you deserve to be carried.”

He walked into the bathroom and set you on the counter while he turned the shower on and got it to your preferred temperature. He started to take his clothes off so you decided to take your his hoodie off (since it was the only thing you were wearing.)

Bucky turned around and picked you up again which made you giggle. He pressed a kiss to your lips and another to your forehead.

He walked under the spray of the shower and leaned in to kiss you again.

“Can you put me down please,” you asked, breathless from the kiss.

Bucky put you down and reached for his shower gel; he knew that you loved it when you smelled like him. Then, he picked up a loofah and put his shower gel on it before cleaning you thoroughly.

Once you were clean, Bucky picked up your shampoo and put some on his hand before massaging your scalp. You let out a sigh and then moved your head under the water so you could rinse the suds out of your hair. Bucky picked up the conditioner and applied it to the ends like you taught him to. You turned to face him and rested your forehead on his chest while the conditioner was being washed out of your hair.

“Thank you, baby,” you said, looking up at him with a smile on your face.

“You're welcome doll,” Bucky replied and kissed you once again.

“Let me return the favour,” you said. It was more of a demand though because Bucky loved taking care of you but still believed that he didn’t deserve to be taken care of due to his past actions- which were completely out of his control.

“You don’t have to doll,” Bucky replied, looking down at the floor.

You softly put your hand under his chin so he would look at you and you told him, “Darling, you deserve to be taken care of more than anyone else I know, especially since you’ve been working so hard lately. I know what you’re thinking and you need to stop. You’re the most amazing man I know, you’re so kind and caring and didn’t choose to do what you did in the past. Everyone knows that. Even Tony knows and we both know how much of a stubborn asshole he is.”

Bucky chuckled and his cheeks were tinted red. “Thanks, doll,”

You grabbed the shower gel and loofah and started to clean him. After that, you used your shampoo to wash his hair. Bucky loved when you washed his hair because he loved you playing with it especially when he was struggling with the memories and flashbacks of his past.

It was while you were rinsing the shampoo out of his hair when you noticed that he had gone completely still and his muscles were tensed up. His hands were shaking and tears were streaming down his face. You quickly finished rinsing his hair so you could help him out.

“Come back to me Bucky,” You whispered in his ear and grabbed his hands, “Honey listen to my voice, I need you to come back to me now.”

Bucky shuddered when he snapped out of the flashback and looked at you with the most fear-stricken eyes you had ever seen.

“I-I can still see it so vividly,” Bucky whispered.

You wrapped your arms around him and stood there for a minute or two.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here and in bed,” You grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the shower.

You turned the shower off, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around your body. Then, you gave Bucky one to wrap around himself.

“Go into the bedroom Buck, I won’t be long. I just need to put a towel on my hair.”

Bucky just shook his head and stood in the doorway waiting for you to finish what you were doing. When you had finished, you grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom.

You grabbed some boxers for Bucky to put on and give them to him; you grab yourself some panties and nothing else since Bucky needs physical contact when he’s like this. You finished off drying your hair and brushed it through.

The bed hadn't been made yet which made it easier to get under the covers, “Come on baby,” you held your arms out to Bucky.

He walked over and crawled onto the bed. He rested his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around you as you played with his hair.

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” He whispered.

“Shhhh. It’s ok. You’re so tired and overworked.”

“But I shouldn’t be so fucking broken,” Bucky’s voice cracked on the last word and the tears started to fall again, wetting your skin.

“Hey, you’re not broken. You’re a good guy who has been put through hell and back. You didn’t deserve any of it and you had no choice.” You replied, running your fingers through his still-damp hair.

You stayed like that for a while before Bucky sat up and moved to lay next to you. You looked at him confused. He rolled onto his side and used his hand to support his head.

“Thank you doll. I love you so so much.” Bucky leaned over to kiss you.

When you pulled back from the kiss, you responded with, “I love you too, so much.”

There was a comfortable silence that was disturbed by bucky when he said, “I need to finish the mission report.”

“It’s ok. I’ll explain why it’s late tomorrow. I'm sure Fury will understand.”

Bucky moved to lay on his back and moved his arm so you could cuddle up to his side.

“I definitely need the break, the lack of sleep makes everything worse.”

“Luckily, I spoke to Fury then,” you giggled.

Bucky was smiling, “I still can’t believe that you intimidate Fury. No one intimidates Fury.”

You leaned up to kiss Bucky, “Goodnight Buck,”

“Goodnight doll,”

That night, you both fell asleep quickly. Happy that you're able to sleep together after spending so long being unable to do so.

Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier, @nicoline1998enilocin

if you want to join my taglist just click on the link

Also, if you want to see the things that I repost then you can follow my other account @sebastianstanisahotmf-reblogs

#marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader fluff #james bucky barnes #james bucky barnes fluff #james bucky barnes x reader fluff #angst #fluff #part 2 #bucky barnes x reader angst #james bucky barnes x reader angst #ptsd #flashbacks #trauma #james bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes angst

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unclewaynemunson · 10 months

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There is thunder in our hearts

Eddie used to love thunderstorms. He loved it when he could feel the heavy electric tension in the air, when the skies got that dark shade of gray expanding over the horizon; he loved the anticipation of what was about to come. But most of all, he loved it when the clouds burst: the moment the skies broke open and the pouring rain, accompanied by the rolling thunder far away but swiftly coming closer, would sound like the opening chords to his favorite song. He loved running outside, standing in the dirt with his arms spread out wide, the taste of the water on his tongue and the rain washing away everything that didn't matter. He'd see other people sprinting from their cars to their houses and he would quietly laugh at them because they were missing out on the single most magical thing that nature had to offer.

Eddie used to love thunderstorms. Until that one time when the skies went gray and the thunder started roaring and all he could think about were bats crowding the air above him, long tails wrapping around his neck, claws and teeth tearing into his flesh, tears in Dustin's eyes...

He ran outside like he always did, hoping that the feeling would pass, hoping that the rain against his skin would remind him of exactly how alive he was; but no such thing happened. Wayne had to follow him into the storm and carry him back inside. He wrapped him in a blanket and made him a cup of hot cocoa and it took Eddie twenty minutes until he managed to stop crying and almost two days before he felt like himself again.

Ever since that happened, he stopped going outside during thunderstorms. Instead, he curls into himself now, as far away from the windows as possible. He plays his music at the loudest possible volume to not have to hear the thunder and he closes his eyes to not have to see the lightning. Sometimes, Wayne is there with him. He never asks, never pries; he simply keeps him company and hands him a blanket in case he feels the need to hide himself further away. He does what Wayne does best: letting Eddie know that he is safe by merely existing next to him, a quiet and calming presence who tells him stories in an attempt to distract him, his soft voice barely drowning out the sounds of the storm.

But Wayne isn't always there when a storm hits. He's often at the plant, or Eddie himself is at work, or with his friends. And it's fine. It isn't like that first time anymore, when he collapsed in the middle of a big muddy pool in front of the trailer and could see nothing but red skies or hear Dustin's screams ringing through his ears, the scent of decay filling up his nose until Wayne got to him and pulled him back into the present. It's not that intense anymore; he can blink those memories away and focus on the music or the voices around him instead. Even though it may still speed up his heartbeat and make his breathing uneven, he can keep functioning.

Or that's what he thought. Until he's in the car with Steve and a storm takes them by surprise and there's nowhere to hide; no way to get away from the window, to bury himself underneath a blanket under the pretense that he's cold, to do anything to take his attention away from it all. And maybe it's also because Steve is sitting right next to him: Steve, whose arms carried Eddie out of the Upside Down, the same arms that are now folded in front of his chest in the passenger seat of Eddie's van.

It's just heavy rain, at first; Eddie can handle rain, he's not a complete coward. But then he hears the rumbling thunder in the distance and his fists clench around the steering wheel and he almost forgets how to breathe. He starts pushing random buttons on the broken radio in the hope that it'll magically have repaired itself and start blasting Judas Priest to save him. Nothing happens, though. Of course not. And the rain only gets louder.

'Eddie,' says Steve, letting his name dance off his tongue in the last echoes of the thunder. Only a few months earlier, Eddie would've loved the sound of that, would have wanted to record the melody and play it on repeat forever.

'Hm?'

'Are you okay?'

Before Eddie can even start to answer that question, another deep rumble echoes through the skies while the rain starts beating even harder against the roof and the windows of his van.

'Eddie,' Steve repeats, more urgent this time. 'I need you stop driving. Right now.'

And Eddie immediately obeys.

'What's happening?' Steve asks as soon as they're standing still. His soft brown eyes wander over Eddie's face, attentive and worried.

'It's the goddamn storm, man,' Eddie explains in a choked voice.

Understanding dawns over Steve's features right away.

'Want me to drive you home?' he asks without missing a beat.

But Eddie shakes his head. 'I can't - can't get out. Of the car.' His mind takes him back to that moment when he collapsed in the middle of the trailer park - he can't do that again. Not anywhere, but certainly not here. With Steve.

'Okay, well, there's no way we're gonna keep driving like this,' says Steve. 'Let's wait it out, alright?' He doesn't talk to Eddie any differently, still seems practical as ever. Probably what years of experience with the craziest fucking supernatural shit does to a person, Eddie supposes. It's Steve at his core: act first, think later. Make sure everybody is – or feels – as safe as can be, the rest is secondary.

The thunder has come closer and a forked bolt of lightning flashes through the gray expanse of the sky. Eddie can't help but flinch at it.

Steve unbuckles his seatbelt and promptly starts climbing between the two front seats towards the back of the van. If Eddie was in any better mindset, he would probably have appreciated the view he is given much more.

'C'mon,' Steve says when he's sat on the ground, offering a hand through the two front seats. 'This seems like a good place to hide.'

Eddie has no choice but to take it. He ends up right next to Steve in the small space in front of the backseats, crouched down in a slightly uncomfortable position. Steve reaches further to the back to get the ratty old blanket that lies there and wraps it over both of them.

'Does this feel safer?'

Honestly, Eddie doesn't know. 'A little bit, I guess,' he mumbles, because that sort of feels like what the correct answer should be.

'You wanna talk about it?'

'Not really,' he admits.

'That's fine too,' Steve answers with a slight shrug. 'We can just sit here. Or do you want me to distract you?'

'I dunno.' It sounds quiet, with the way the big raindrops keep clattering onto the van. 'Wayne tells me stories, sometimes.'

''Bout what?'

'The olden days.' Eddie tries to use one of his dramatic voices, get things back to normal again, but the delivery doesn't land all too well. 'Shit he and my dad used to do. How my grandpa would get mad at them.' He pauses for a moment. 'Apparently my grandpa was scared of storms, too. And my dad. It runs in the family; that tends to happen when you're a farmer and a whole year worth of income can be destroyed by one single storm.'

'When I was younger,' Steve starts to tell, 'I was scared as shit of storms, too. I'd always make those huge pillow forts in the living room, put as many layers between me and the storm as I could.'

Eddie can picture it clear as day: a little version of the guy sitting next to him, with chubby cheeks and shorter hair, hauling a whole bunch of cushions and blankets around to make himself feel safe. It helps him take his mind off what's happening on the outside of the van.

'Sometimes my dad would crawl in there with me,' Steve continues. 'And he would wrap his arms all around me – like this – one more layer, y'know.' He shuffles to haul Eddie into his arms. They're warm against Eddie's own skin, and it is indeed comforting, so Eddie doesn't complain.

'Try to relax, okay?' Steve says. 'I'm right here, and I'll stay here with you for as long as you need. I won't let anything happen to you.' He tightens his grip and urges Eddie to let himself fall against Steve's chest. Eddie has no choice but to sway the way Steve wants him to and lands with his head right on top of Steve's heart. The fabric of his dark green polo is soft against Eddie's cheek and the sound of his heartbeat gets added to the symphony of the storm. He tries to focus solely on that heartbeat, complemented by Steve's breathing, Steve's voice – it makes it easier to drown out the sounds of the storm.

'I hate that this had to happen,' Eddie quietly admits. 'It used to be one of my favorite things in the world, standing outside in the pouring rain. Made me feel alive more than anything else.'

'It sucks,' Steve agrees. He raises one hand to put it on Eddie's head, softly stroking over his hair like he's a cat. 'After the first time we fought it,' he continues, 'when we, you know, pieced together what must've happened to Barb... I couldn't swim anymore. I was terrified of my own backyard. Nance helped me get through it, told me I should face my fears head on. She went to the library and got a whole bunch of books about phobias and traumas and kept talking to me about “exposure therapy.” I was skeptical about it at first, but it actually helped.'

Eddie chuckles darkly. 'Wanna know what happened when I tried to face this shit head on?'

'What?'

'I fucking lost it, man. Went out into the storm like I always did, and just – it was like I was back there. I lost my goddamned mind and Uncle Wayne had to pick up the pieces.'

Steve hand keeps stroking over Eddie's hair while he wraps the other one around Eddie's nervously fumbling fingers.

'We can try it together,' he says. 'We don't have to do it right now. Just... whenever you're ready. If you want to.'

Eddie nods. He isn't sure if he'll ever be ready, but at least doing it with Steve seems less daunting than doing it alone.

Another thunderclap, louder than any of the previous ones and accompanied by a bright flash of lightning, makes Eddie jump in Steve's arms.

'Try not to pay attention to it,' Steve says. 'It's gonna be over before you know it.' And then he starts humming. He even starts rocking Eddie in his arms. It should make him feel embarrassed, Eddie thinks, like he's a fucking child. But it doesn't. It helps him to let the sounds of the raging storm fade to background noise, finally taken over by the symphony that is Steve.

By the time the storm dies down, Eddie is pretty sure he must have fallen asleep at some point, because somehow he imagines that Steve presses a gentle kiss against his temple.

#this has been sitting in my drafts for literal months #and i finally managed to kill off this part that i loved but was too out of place #so i have extremely mixed feelings about this :')#tw ptsd #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #fruity ficlet

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theobliviousunluckybastard · 3 months

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This whole exchange was hilarious!!🤣🤣

Archie freaking out while Witira is beating the earthworm!!

HANNAH : What's the matter?

ARCHIE : ...I missed it

HANNAH : What?

ARCHIE : ... When I was young ....

Well, you know that our village is on ice, right? There-

Anyway, there was a piece of trash in the whale tribe too! That guy once got into trouble with a penguin beast when we were young.

Witira saw that -

[THUD!! The ground shook again]

ARCHIE : Ugh! ...Anyway, Witira went to catch that bastard!

HANNAH : Right, however?

ARCHIE : That scumbag ran away and just turned into a whale and jumped into the sea!

HANNAH : So?

ARCHIE : Witira caught that whale. And-

And Witira lifted the whole whale up and smashed it to the ground.

HANNAH : ......

THUD!!

ARCHIE : Now, now, this is the sound! It's similar to that beating! While holding the tail fin and drawing a semicircle left and right like striking a paddle! At that time, the sound was like this!

HANNAH : ..........

BOOOM!!

ARCHIE : She was so upset back then that Witira's eyes rolled back! It was Paceton, who was young at the time, crying and saying, 'Sister, that's enough'. It won't stop unless you cling to her like this! Paceton has grown up now. No! But if Paceton comes and cries and clings to Witira, Witira will stop! Paceton is in Roan! How can we bring him! Huh?

HANNAH : ... Why are you asking me that?

ARCHIE : No, we’re in real trouble!

[Leaves the tent]

Damn it! It keeps snowing! It’s getting worse! Damn it! We don’t have to worry about the water running out here!

HANNAH : Then wouldn’t it be good for the whale people? Wouldn’t it be good if there was a lot of snow?

ARCHIE (frustrated) : Therefore! It's a problem because we like it! If the snow piled up like this!

(Shouts) She could even go berserk! (Pulling his hair)Damn it! It all looks broken! We have to stop it!

[Starts running]

[Meanwhile, Cale and Raon, in a distance, watching the scene:]

RAON : Human, Archie is rushing to the battlefield! Why?

CALE : ....I think I understand.

#lcf #tcf #lcf novel #tcf novel #laws of hunting #tcf part 2 #witira #lcf cale #raon #archie #Archie is traumatized #Archie having ptsd flashbacks #Lcf hannah

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baldurs-gate-official · 4 months

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Seeing Astarion and thinking

#bg3 #astarion #c-ptsd #ptsd #seriously im so happy they did such a good job #i barely ever see good ptsd rep in general #so many ptsd characters get killed off as a sort of 'happy ending' and i hate it #and the rep for CPTSD is even scarcer #ive seen characters who *should* have c-ptsd but the writers just stick them with symptoms for regular ptsd #and even when there IS rep they stay away from the difficult parts of it #the ugly parts #the anger and the hard parts of healing #people want the gentle pitiable version usually #but this kind of ptsd involves such an emphasis on control #lack of trust #emotional dysregulation #its not pretty. its rough. its...terrible #i cant describe how happy it makes me to see those parts tackled #and tackled SO well #and he can have a happy ending #even though he cant walk in the sun...in a way it makes it happier for me to see #i have so many injuries from my abuser that will never heal #but i have to live with it and accept it #astarion has to do that too #but it doesnt make him less worthy of love #it doesnt mean he isnt worthy of happiness or that its unattainable #idk im just...not used to seeing someone have the same condition as me #ive seen very few characters outside of bg3 who had ptsd #and most of them were killed off #and it was painted as a happy ending for them and it makes me sick to think thats what people see for people like me

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moonlight-singer · 9 months

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Moonlight memories: Anger

This is part of Ahr'in's memories collected during the expansions , mostly SHB and EW, some from earlier in time. -------------- LIST OF CHAPTERS HERE

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alilaro · 10 months

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those damned anime weebs were right, Neon Genesis Evangelion really does go fucking hard

#neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #end of evangelion #neon genisis #i loved all the parts with the childhood trauma :)c #aka every second of every episode #also god damn the fanbase is annoying LMAAAO #people saying shinji was a coward and too whiny; like bro u get ur 14 year old ass up in that ship and fight a biblically accurate angel #the size of fucking EARTH #like homie its about child abuse; ptsd trauma; and the despair it brings and how you can break through that despite how dark it gets #fanbase is literally like 30+ redditorbros like 'do you ship AsuShin or ReiShin? haha who do u think is hotter? ;P'#LIKE NONE YOU FREAK THEY'RE 14 AHHHH #.....but obviously Ritsuko and Maya are endgame. theyre canon wlw and 24+. its fuckin over for yall #thank you for reading my rambling bullshit ;-)

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starfishinthedistance · 5 months

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I've talked a bit about this before but if someone tells you they feel like their trauma wasn't bad enough to be valid and your response is to just start talking about """big T and little t trauma""" I hate you and sincerely hope you step on glass.

All that you're saying is essentially "Oh you feel like your trauma isn't bad enough compared to other traumatized people and it's causing you a lot of emotional turmoil? I have the solution! Here are two arbitrarily created boxes I've called 'Big Scary Traumatizing Valid Events' and 'small events but you're having reactions so I guess we have to acknowledge you', and you're actually in that second box! You actually don't have the same problem as the Big Scary Event People! They have the big problem and you have the little one! Do you feel better yet?"

Like, I've already talked about how trauma and its severity is subjective and the Big T vs little t bullshit has no set definition and varies wildly from person to person, but even setting that aside, do you think creating another box and separating the """little t people""" from other survivors is going to make them feel more valid and secure? Epescially how when people talk about """little t trauma""" they always talk about it like "oh the event wasn't that bad but you had a Big Reaction and it was your Feelings that caused the trauma" like...you're essentially saying they're overreacting disguised with a bunch of therapy buzzwords.

"The event wasn't that bad but we still feel hurt 😢😢😢". Go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY when therapists/psychiatrists/etc tell this to their clients. To have a professional tell you your trauma doesn't fit into 'bad event box' and is just caused by you overreacting does so much fucking damage. Professionals should fucking know better, especially if you claim to be trauma informed.

Just say "Trauma is any event where the brain feels it is in danger, and trauma symptoms are simply when the danger response prolongs past the event. Doubting your experiences and the validity of them is a very common and severe trauma symptom. It's a way of your mind trying to separate itself from the trauma to protect you from the pain of it, and it's observed in almost all survivors with all kinds of trauma. In cases where the trauma is abuse, it's also indictive of severe psychological abuse using methods like gaslighting and other kinds of manipulation."

There. Gets the message across better than telling them they're just apart of the 'not that bad' group of survivors.

God I hate the wellness TikToker-ification of trauma discussions.

#rant over #little t trauma #big t trauma #ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #cptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #trauma #childhood trauma #emotional abuse #mental illness #mental health #mental health awareness #trauma awareness #trauma survivor #neurodivergent #saneism #(for the part about professionals doing this)#original post

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 1 month

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Kid Vaggie 4: Unsung Lullaby

Request for angst. Why angst? Why do people want to have their feelings hurt? Why? Also, this is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

Charlie: (cradling Kid Vaggie in her arms as she carries the little angel to bed) Alright, sweetie. It's bedtime.

Kid Vaggie: (shakes her head violently and clings to Charlie's jacket lapels) No!

Charlie: Vaggie, it's bedtime. You need to get your sleep so you can grow up big and strong.

Kid Vaggie: (shakes slightly) No. Something bad is gonna happen.

Charlie: (pulls back the covers and sets Vaggie down gently) Sweetheart, nothing bad is going to happen to you here. This hotel is officially the safest place in Hell. Nothing, and I mean nnnnnothing- (boops Vaggie's nose)

Kid Vaggie: (giggles slightly and curls up under the blankets to get away from the onslaught)

Charlie: -Is going to get you.

Kid Vaggie: (snuggles in and yawns) Pwomise?

Charlie: (heart pulses painfully) I promise. (kisses Vaggie's forehead and heads to the door) Good night, Vaggie.

Kid Vaggie: Goodnight, Pwincess. (blushes and hides half of her face under the covers) . .. .. I wuv you...

Charlie: (clutches her chest and pinches her legs together as her ovaries throb like ticking time-bombs) I love you too, hun. (closes the door and walks down the hall while pulling at her hair) Note to self: As SOON as Vaggie is back to her normal self, get a spell from dad to make babies.

Kid Vaggie: (nestles in and falls asleep)

*-*-*zZzzzZz*-*-*zZzzzZz*-*-*

-Screams fill the air as the smell of burning tires, smoke, and blood course through the streets of Hell. Angelic Devils with grey and black wings soar through the skies and between buildings as they spray the blood of sinners across alleys and buildings.-

Kid Vaggie: (eyes snap open at the sound of a particularly blood curdling scream, and she looks around at the chaos)

Exorcist: (rips her spear out of Angel Dust's mouth and throat)

Kid Vaggie: Angle Bust!!!

Husker: (leaps forward with a tiger's roar and his claws extended)

Exorcist: (grabs Husker and uses her spear to skin him alive before completely ripping his spine out of his back)

Kid Vaggie: Husk!!! (looks around and sees the rest of the Hotel's occupants' corpses laying on the dead grass filled front lawn of the establishment)

Alastor: (sawed in half with his antlers ripped off)

Cherri: (exploded from the hips up)

Niffty: (pieces replaced with bug parts and scuttling across the ground from an angelic steel knife lodged in her spinal chord to keep her moving)

Lucifer: (tied by the ankles at the top of the hotel, his wings billowing limply in the breeze from being completely shattered like a flag)

Kid Vaggie: (crying and is about to puke when another scream fills the air. She looks and sees the Exorcist holding Charlie up by the throat) CHARWIE!!!!

Exorcist: (looks over to Vaggie and throws Charlie in the air)

Charlie: (gets skewered on the sharp nose of Dazzle's statue)

Exorcist: (to Kid Vaggie) ......Go. Run. (turns to look at the carnage) ........*sob*

Kid Vaggie: (suddenly sees the same spear the Exorcist has in her hands and scrambles to run away. Lungs are on fire as she sprints through the streets and down an alley) NO!!! NO!!!NONONO!!!

-Feathered Wing Flapping Fills the Alley-

Kid Vaggie: (turns around and sees the Exorcist, shakily bringing her own spear up as tears stream down her cheek)

Exorcist: (stands silently before taking off her mask, revealing Vaggie's older face) What did you do?

Kid Vaggie: (suddenly wearing Exorcist clothes) I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! YOU DID THAT!!! (scene shifts, and suddenly she's the one staring down a cannibal child cowering against the wall)

Cannibal Child: (crying) I didn't do anyhting wrong.... Please, don't kill me...

Kid/Vaggie: (lowers spear) Go. Run.

Cannibal Child: (sprints away)

Kid Vaggie: (looks down at her fully grown self in horror and suddenly feels excruciating pain in her left eye socket) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Exorcist/Vaggie: You were weak. (grabs Kid Vaggie's wings and rips them off)

Kid Vaggie: (screams and cries before panting in pain and staring at her older double. The older woman is split in half down the middle to share the visage of a woman with short, white hair and blood smear everywhere)

Lute/Vaggie: You don't deserve Heaven. / (crying) You don't deserve Happiness.

Kid Vaggie: (world slowly fading to black as the Exorcist turns and leaves)

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Angel: (sees Charlie walk into the bar) Woooooof! Don't you look a special kinda way. I take it that Baby Fever ain't breakin' anytime soon?

Charlie: (pouts) Is it that obvious????

Angel: Please, Toots. (waves a hand in front of his nose) I can smell the ovulation process comin' off ya.

Lucifer: (sparkles in his eyes as he digs into his inner jacket pocket) Do you need the baby potion?!

Charlie: NOT YET!!! VAGGIE IS STILL A KID!!! (pauses) .....Wait, you just keep a bottle of that on hand?

Lucifer: .........Full transparency. I've been keeping it ever since you were with what's-his-nuts in case you needed it. What was his name? Fredrick's boy.

Charlie: (covers her mouth at the thought of carrying her ex-boyfriend's child) Dad, I never intended on having kids with Seviathan.

Lucifer: THANK THE STARS TOO!!!! Boy was a little fuckwit.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Charlie: (turns to the staircase and sprints up the stairs three-four at a time) VAGGIE???!?!?!

Hazbins: (all scramble out of their seats and sprint after Charlie)

Charlie: (bursts into her and Vaggie's room and sprints to the bed to hold the thrashing child tight) Vaggie, sweetie, what's wrong?!

Kid Vaggie: NO!!! NO!!! NO-NO-NO!!!! (stops thrashing as Charlie's scent fills her nose and stares up into worried eyes) Charwie?

Charlie: Yeah, sweetie, what happened? (pets Vaggie's hair, wincing at how badly the child is shaking)

Kid Vaggie: (breaks out into a new wave of tears and sobbing wails as she holds Charlie tight) Exowcists! *hic-hic* Evewyone gone! My fault!

Charlie: (holds Vaggie tighter) Shhhhhh! Shhh-shhhh-shhhh! It's okay, Vaggie. The Exorcists are gone. They're not here anymore. They can't hurt you or anyone else here. Nothing is your fault. (turns to the rest of the group motions for some help)

Hazbins: (all standing in the doorway slowly shuffle in to make a giant hug pile)

Angel: No one blames you for nothin', kid.

Husker: For a fierce little psycho, you've never hurt any of us. (massages the skin patches where Vaggie took out some clumps of fur) Not entirely.

Cherri: You're a great guardian angel for the Hotel, kiddo.

Niffty: You do such a good job helping me kill all the roaches in the basement!

Lucifer: (finishes off the hug pile by engulfing everyone in his wings) You're more angelic than any of those Exorcists, little dove. Nothing that happened is your fault.

Alastor: (watching silently from the doorway)

Charlie: (tears filling her eyes as she gently rocks Vaggie and sings a quiet lullaby)

Kid Vaggie: *sniff-sniff* (looks up at everyone around her and calms down, nestling into Charlie's chest and falling asleep) Wuv... you... guys.... ZzzzZzzZZz.....

Bonus:

Hazbins: (clutch their hearts simultaneously) Fuck....

Charlie: (still holding a sleeping Vaggie) Not so funny when it's you, is it?

Lucifer: Charlie, please tell me you want that potion as soon as she's back to normal. I need a little demon-angel grandbaby.

152 notes · View notes