Tumgik
loveinhawkins · 10 hours
Text
#YES YES YES YES YES#dustins gotta be so interesting because he's not even fearless in a defiant way#hes not trying to replace anybody's seniority hes just. confidently there.#and hes clearly cool with the mentory relationship. not defying to one-up eddie just very good at standing his ground#and dustins not like excessively more mature than your average freshman he's still got insecurities and the *tone*#hes an anomaly. surprisingly unfazed but still definitely a freshman#he throws Eddie for such a loop that first semester and he was destined to be a favorite
@devondespresso i just had to preserve your tags! ‘he’s just confidently there’, YES, that’s exactly why i love the dynamic Dustin brings to everything, like, he’s such a contradiction, he can switch between fairly standard immaturity for his age & then absolute emotional intelligence (talking Eddie down in the boathouse). and obviously despite his cockiness, he is actually right on the money a lot of the time. like you say, he’s cool with the mentor relationship Eddie brings, but he’s also not freaking out when he’s the one that has to be the leader & explain things, and i think that’s partly through growing up with Steve, and with them both kinda being on a level playing field when it comes to the upside down, going through it together—and the idea that, like, as you grow up with someone you consider a sibling, you come to realise that even though they’re older than you, sometimes you’re the one that knows more & you end up protecting them. ❤️
also “he’s an anomaly. surprisingly unfazed but still definitely a freshman” is absolutely Eddie’s inner thoughts after the first Hellfire campaign with Dustin lol
under-appreciated moment is Dustin’s impatient little hand raise, like, oh my god, would you just wait when Eddie’s pressing Hellfire about whether they’re going to fight or not. Like this is second nature to him by now—how many times has he completely derailed Eddie’s plans for a campaign because he’s just not intimidated by a false sense of urgency; he’s lived through the real deal, after all. The true match for Eddie’s dramatics is Dustin’s stubbornness that his decisions are always right, actually, don’t rush me, dude!
Dustin spends the first few campaigns he’s in completely destroying Eddie’s narrative tension; Eddie can’t decide whether to be furious or delighted. Who the fuck is this kid? I hate him, he thinks affectionately.
193 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 14 hours
Text
under-appreciated moment is Dustin’s impatient little hand raise, like, oh my god, would you just wait when Eddie’s pressing Hellfire about whether they’re going to fight or not. Like this is second nature to him by now—how many times has he completely derailed Eddie’s plans for a campaign because he’s just not intimidated by a false sense of urgency; he’s lived through the real deal, after all. The true match for Eddie’s dramatics is Dustin’s stubbornness that his decisions are always right, actually, don’t rush me, dude!
Dustin spends the first few campaigns he’s in completely destroying Eddie’s narrative tension; Eddie can’t decide whether to be furious or delighted. Who the fuck is this kid? I hate him, he thinks affectionately.
193 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 1 day
Note
Hi! hope you feel better soon! And hope you get some much needed rest in the meantime! For the one word prompt: post S4 Steddie, “hazy”.
thank you so much & thank you for inspiring a little moment about rest & healing 💕 •one word ficlet prompts
Steve finds that the couch next to Eddie’s hospital bed is ridiculously comfortable.
Eddie’s talking to the nurse—he can’t really catch what’s being said, the world growing warm and hazy—but he can hear that Eddie’s making her laugh. Knows that’s important, something that would’ve been unthinkable not so long ago: that Eddie feels brave enough to let something of himself shine through. That he can still trust in the kindness of certain people, even strangers.
Steve vaguely hears the nurse leave, glances over to see Eddie within touching distance, perched on the side of his bed. He’s folding some T-shirts in preparation for getting discharged—he’d joked when Steve had first arrived that it’s the most organised he’s ever been.
He must’ve washed his hair this morning, left it to air dry: some of the ends are still damp, and it’s gone kinda wispy around his face. It’s a calming sight, leaves Steve grateful that he no longer associates it with the dive into Lover’s Lake; now it’s something softer.
Something safe.
Eddie looks up. Smiles.
“Uh, Steve, with all due respect,” he begins, which makes Steve snort; he’s come to know it as one of Eddie’s sayings, preceding all manner of teasing objections, “what the hell?”
Steve would usually ask, “What now?” in feigned exasperation, unable to hide his amusement—but his head feels suddenly heavy, and all he manages is, “Hmm?”
Eddie’s smile grows, showing his dimples. He reaches over, and he places a hand on Steve’s knee, presses down gently, “Are you, like, training to be a contortionist?”
Steve feels the warmth of the touch through his jeans; he realises then that he’s sitting awkwardly: one knee bent towards his chest; his neck crooked, arms folded; his whole body instinctively angled toward the edge of the couch.
It’s a position he’s perfected over the years, honed in all kinds of makeshift beds—most recently the chairs of hospital waiting rooms, leaving space for one of the kids to rest on his shoulder. Snatching rest wherever he could throughout the nightmare of that Spring Break, never quite relaxing fully: ready to move, to spring into action at a moment’s notice.
He remembers Robin tactfully making sure that the RV was empty while everyone else stayed outside; his side still aching, Steve stretched out on the seat in the back. Even while he was alone, he only managed a fitful doze—nearly fell off his seat as he wrenched himself awake at the slightest disturbance.
He can’t find that urgency now. Hasn’t needed to for…
He must have zoned out for a couple seconds, because Eddie’s standing now. Watching fondly.
“If you’re tired,” Eddie says quietly, “you should sleep.”
And Steve hears the shape of it, that deliberation in how Eddie says certain things, where he slows down just a little—and Steve knows it must be because it’s something Eddie’s once been told by his uncle.
There’s a blanket getting draped across him now. Eddie touches his knee again, and this time Steve relaxes fully, feels himself slowly tilt back. There’s a pillow beneath his head that wasn’t there before.
Eddie smoothes out the blanket with care. Steve’s view is getting dimmer, a drowsy blur of eyelashes.
But he can see that Eddie’s smiling again. Hears him make a soft, jokingly disapproving tsk.
“Close your eyes,” Eddie whispers, with such affection.
Oh, you love me, Steve thinks.
It’s a thought that drifts in, honeyed and slow, like it’s really been there all along—that perhaps before, in the white-knuckled days of survival, he was too afraid for it. Did not have room to feel it.
Steve’s eyes close.
He falls asleep so completely, knowing that Eddie will still be there, that time isn’t running out anymore; he can stay right where he is. He has room to breathe, to just be—room for the next thought, the next moment, for every moment to come.
210 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 2 days
Text
to the lovely anon who gave me a prompt that allowed me to keep thinking about this chilling unfolding of events, thank you & when it’s done it’ll probably be on a post on its own due to length in case the ask format makes it wonky ❤️
7 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 3 days
Text
When Steve gets to his last year at Hawkins High, it feels like some kind of veil has been lifted right in front him. Or maybe it’s more that the veil’s actually been slowly lifting for years, and he’s noticing it all the more because it’s no longer there.
Either way, when he receives his yearbook, it doesn’t seem like the huge deal that his younger self would’ve made it out to be; he flicks through the pictures half-heartedly, doesn’t even care when the candid ones taken at sporting events catch him in unflattering poses, lip jutting out in concentration.
If he tried to voice his disinterest, Henderson would probably spout off some precocious shit about societal expectations, and Steve would pretend to nod sagely before stealing whatever dorky hat he happened to be wearing—it’s not like he could let the little shit suspect that he occasionally had a point, Steve would never hear the end of it.
The yearbook signings are predictably inescapable: people passing their books back and forth in class or in the cafeteria—and that one’s a risky move, with the threat of drinks spilling on the pages, whether accidental or malicious.
Steve thinks the fever’s dwindled out until he spends a free period in the school library. The seniors typically all bunch together in one of the far corners, the spots with the comfiest seats—loners included, like the perks of age for once outweigh the usual ridicule.
But that silent truce is not exactly being upheld, Steve notes—Eddie Munson is sitting alone at a nearby table.
It becomes painfully obvious when the signing starts up again. There’s a cluster of girls on the yearbook committee who initiate it, and soon every senior in reach is either passing over their own book or signing one.
Almost every senior.
It’s not like Eddie’s the only person ever to be held back. He’s not even the only one to be held back for next year, either: John Nelson off the swim team is in the same position, and he’s still been asked to sign.
But Steve knows that’s not what the source of exclusion is, not really.
He’s gotten good at spotting silent cruelty—good at avoiding it too, before his popularity gave him a temporary shield.
It’s all just bullshit, he thinks. It’s been a recurring thought lately.
He brings out his own yearbook because he knows it’s expected. When it’s finally passed back round to him, he ends up right near the seat opposite Eddie’s, just by chance.
But actually sitting there is his own choice.
He can tell that Eddie has spotted him even though he’s not looked up from whatever homework he’s doing; there’s a silent tension in the way he’s holding his pen.
Steve mulls it over before he asks the question. It could blow up in his face, but what did that matter, really? In the grand scheme of things, it would hardly count as a major embarrassment; it’s not like it’d be any more mortifying than telling his dad that he didn’t get into any colleges whatsoever.
So he pushes his yearbook across the table, because what the hell.
“Wanna sign?”
Eddie glances up. There’s a guarded look in his eyes, and Steve can almost hear him mentally replaying the question.
“Pardon?” Eddie says with pointed emphasis, like he’s daring Steve, let it drop and we’ll say no more about it, Harrington.
Steve doesn’t take it back. He shrugs and flicks open the yearbook, finds a blank spot and taps it once with his finger, a silent offer.
Eddie stares like Steve’s a riddle, like he’s wondering just who the show’s for—but the other students have turned away, have gone back to their seats, yearbooks temporarily forgotten.
Eddie’s hold on his pen relaxes, ever so slightly.
“You sure, Harrington?” he says. There’s still a wary edge to his voice, but there’s an undercurrent of something else, too, like he’s secretly amused despite himself. “Haven’t you heard what folks say? I could curse you.”
Steve scoffs. “That all you’ve got? I’ve dealt with way worse, man,” he says mildly.
A corner of Eddie’s mouth twitches into a surprised smile. Then it’s gone almost like it had never been in the first place, his gaze turning thoughtful rather than defensive.
And obviously this isn’t Eddie’s first rodeo at the whole senior year thing. Steve wonders if there’s a veil that’s been lifted for him too, wonders if he can see straight through it right now.
The bell rings.
Eddie stands up, gathering his stuff.
Steve thinks that’s the end of it: something that’s neither a success or a failure.
But then, lightning fast, Eddie darts across the table and scribbles something on the open page. Slams the yearbook shut and pushes it back over, and it feels like a challenge, like some of his caginess is back—like he’s just daring Steve to reveal that it had been a joke all along—
“Bet you’re counting down the days till you can hold your own copy, huh?” Steve says dryly, as he stuffs the book into his bag.
It’s a risk; he knows Eddie could easily take it as pure ridicule, could misinterpret it as Steve throwing the failed school years back in his face.
Eddie just shakes his head, but he could be laughing—the moment’s gone too quickly for Steve to know for sure.
“Nah, Harrington,” Eddie says easily, thrown over his shoulder as he leaves, “those things aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.”
Steve doesn’t check the yearbook until he’s home. He eventually finds Eddie’s signature, simple black ink right in the upper corner of one page.
Good luck, Steve. —Eddie
Some of the letters are bunched a little too close together, drifting upwards on the blank page, as if they usually need lined paper to guide them—left-handed, Steve thinks vaguely.
Within a sea of scrawled nicknames and loudly enthusiastic messages, Steve finds that he kind of likes how mundane Eddie’s truly is. Likes the sign off with minimal fuss. Just “Eddie.” Likes how he was just “Steve”, too.
And yeah, if anyone needed to be told good luck, Steve thinks, with the kind of amusement that only comes from distance—pictures his past self, freaking out about monsters come to life.
He slots the yearbook into his bookcase. By summer he might forget about it all together, left to gather dust as he works for 3 bucks an hour, but for now he marks its significance: something real, hidden alongside the bullshit.
628 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 3 days
Text
Eddie surviving and going to see The Princess Bride when it comes out in 1987—and it’s a tentative thing, still, between him and Steve; they haven’t named it, but their hands still brush in the space between their seats, and really if Eddie were pushed, he’d say that they both know exactly what they’re heading towards, that they’re just floating between the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. That’s fine by him; they have time now, so much of it.
And the movie is charming and funny, but it’s not the romance or adventure that hits Eddie in the chest. It comes on unexpectedly, every time there’s a scene with the man reading to his grandson who’s sick in bed: suddenly Eddie can feel the softness of the bedsheets he had when he was young, when the move to Wayne’s was still raw and difficult, and it’s Wayne who’s reading to him softly, back when stories of things turning out fine were all Eddie had.
“Let’s see… where were we?” the grandfather mutters, and Eddie laughs because he can hear so much of Wayne in it, that gentle, wry humour. “Oh, yes. In the Pit of Despair.”
Eddie laughs again, choked. He’s clawed his way out of that damned pit so many times. His breathing catches at the thought that it’s been over a year since the deepest pit of them all, when Eddie once thought that the walls were far too high to climb.
“Woah, hey,” Steve whispers, “what’s wrong?”
Eddie shakes his head, smiling. “N-nothing.”
Their row is empty, and in the dark Steve reaches out, fingertips gently brushing underneath Eddie’s eye. They come away wet.
And Steve gives a little shushing noise, so that only they can hear, and it’s him who makes the leap, easily turning the page into the new chapter.
To some people Eddie’s first kiss would mean nothing at all—in their eyes, a chaste peck of comfort in a movie theatre would be just a speck in the grand history of the kiss itself. But for Eddie, it leaves them all behind.
“Farm boy,” he murmurs, when the movie’s over, smiling because the great, terrible story is done, and he is here; he is here. “Take me home?”
Steve smiles back, winks out the corner of his eye. “As you wish.”
1K notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 5 days
Note
Ficlet prompt: Lighter
Truly will enjoy whatever that might inspire for you, but I do especially love all your steddie work that takes place between scenes of s4!
thank you for the perfect excuse to think about another before the battle scene. (also i hope i’m recognising your username correctly & if so i love your video analyses 💕) •one word ficlet prompts
Eddie throws the lighter with no warning. It soars in an arc across the field, a glint of silver in the sun, and Steve catches it with one hand, of course he does. Eddie remembers the running joke in the true basketball glory days, Steve Harrington, an excellent catch: in every sense.
Eddie would always act like the whole thing annoyed him, but now, as he watches Steve grin smugly, he can only be fond.
“Figured you’d need it when you’re, uh, flambéing.”
Steve’s smile fades, just a little; Eddie wonders if the terror he’s feeling is obvious, even from a distance.
“Like, it’s my uncle’s, so be careful,” he adds, rambling. “I’ll want it back, man.”
Steve considers him. Pats a patch of grass, come here.
Eddie does.
He sits down as Steve flicks the lighter a couple of times, the flame winking in and out of existence. It’s a soothing sight, almost makes him forget that they’ve spent most of the day fashioning weapons—like so long as Steve’s got a light in his hand, things are gonna be all right.
It’s a child’s logic. Eddie can’t help it; he never could.
There’s a soft click as Steve shuts the lighter. He puts it in his jacket pocket with unnecessary care. A gentleness.
Eddie knows he’ll keep it safe.
And then Steve’s twisting round to reach another pocket, brings out another glint of silver.
He flicks it up in the air, catches it before dropping it into Eddie’s palm.
“This is my lucky quarter,” Steve says with uncharacteristic solemnity, but his lips are quirking in amusement and—
“You’re so full of shit,” Eddie says through a laugh, “you literally just bought that jacket.”
His fingers curl over the coin anyway. He feels the warmth leftover from Steve’s touch. Wonders if Steve felt something similar with the lighter—if he can lend their improvised charms some power through sheer force of will.
He slips the coin into his pocket.
“I’ll kinda want it back,” Steve says pointedly.
Eddie smiles. “I’ll take care of it,” he says.
He doesn’t want to sound afraid, but he can’t promise anything. Can only think of Steve carrying the lighter and hope that it holds: an amulet, guiding him home.
176 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 6 days
Text
one word ficlet prompts
i’ve been in a sickness induced funk which is a bummer but i figured this could be a way of having fun without being too taxing ❤️ & i could end up with some unexplored moments, character studies, backstories, all that sorta stuff 💕
rules: send me one word as a prompt, sfw please! steddie as a romantic pairing, platonic for everyone else, either featuring steve or eddie or both.
and if you want a little more specificity to go along with your word, feel free to mix and match:
era: eg pre/post/during seasons, i’ll do post s4 but they’ll forever be in the 80’s in my mind ❤️
it will be pre steddie if pre s4, you know me, love my missing scenes moments ❤️
point of view whether steve or eddie or someone else
no flight of Icarus related prompts etc, nothing personal, just adhering to my own personal canon! ❤️
9 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 17 days
Text
i think it’s the Dustin as Gavroche coded that i can’t get away from. (thank you for the Les mis thoughts way back when ❤️ @bit-odd-innit) the trailer as their barricade. Dustin’s youthful bravado versus Eddie’s caution when Dustin’s goading the bats, shh! Is that really necessary? maybe Steve narrowly avoided getting truly affected by bat venom because he’s older & taller but Dustin isn’t so lucky.
every time i try and plot out something where Eddie doesn’t run after his concert in The Upside Down and the threat of the bats is, like, actually immediate and credible, i end up with the logic that something awful must need to happen to Dustin so that Eddie stays. their fates are heartbreakingly linked.
44 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 17 days
Text
every time i try and plot out something where Eddie doesn’t run after his concert in The Upside Down and the threat of the bats is, like, actually immediate and credible, i end up with the logic that something awful must need to happen to Dustin so that Eddie stays. their fates are heartbreakingly linked.
44 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 18 days
Text
While he’s still not recovered enough to play the guitar, Eddie takes up writing again. He uses a scrappy notebook, nothing special: to start with, it’s more a record of his handwriting slowly becoming clearer; gripping the pen, moving it across the page, no longer seems such a daunting task.
And look, it’s not like he’s Shakespeare here, somehow churning out masterpieces from a hospital bed. Sometimes he’s just doodling, flooding the margins with black ink until it bleeds through to the other side, looping spirals over and over for no reason—or maybe just to prove that he can.
He always keeps the notebook close by: folded over, the spine broken so it can rest propped up on the bedside cabinet. Sometimes he forgets, has to quickly put it under the sheets if he’s still writing whenever a nurse comes in.
He doesn’t know what he’s afraid of them seeing, exactly. Just remembers the fear of middle school—a boy ripping his notebook out of his hands and just laughing at Eddie’s desperate attempts to get it back.
It had been a lesson—to not be careless. To not leave pieces of himself lying around for others to handle.
Gradually, he fills more and more pages. Diary entries emerge in between mindless scribbles, and they help even if he’s not ready for talking about March yet, not even to himself.
He painstakingly logs conversations had during visiting hours; just focusing on one word leading into the next is calming, helps bring him out of his head. He’s got whole pages devoted to Wayne’s birdwatching, and actual full-blown diagrams thanks to Robin Buckley filling him in on obscure band kid drama.
On nights when his heart races for no apparent reason, he stays up writing—usually drifts off to sleep by the afternoon, notebook slipping through his ink-stained fingers.
He stirs awake on one such day, and he doesn’t know why until he hears the rustle of pages, the gentle thunk of something being set down.
His notebook.
“Did you look?” he murmurs, more asleep than awake. Maybe that’s why he asks: time is strange in dreams, long buried fears drifting up to the surface.
“No.”
And Eddie manages to open his eyes just enough to see Steve standing by his bed. He’s neatly set the notebook in its usual place on the cabinet, except he’s shut it so the edges don’t curl up all that much.
“No, I didn’t look. Eddie, that’s yours, okay?” Steve says softly, but no less serious for it.
And Eddie wonders if there’s more to the pages he’s filled, even the scribbles—if he’s revealed more of himself than he thought.
“You can if you want,” Eddie mumbles into the pillow.
“Shh. Go back to sleep.”
“Don’t mind if it’s you,” Eddie says. He reaches for words, clumsy with drowsiness, and he surprises himself with what he says, but he finds that he means it. Feels it, so certainly. “Want… want you to see.”
The thought would’ve been terrifying years ago.
But this isn’t middle school, and he trusts Steve Harrington with his heart.
403 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 18 days
Text
keep thinking about the bone-chilling possibilities of a gay Eddie reading with Jason Carver’s religious fanaticism. Like, we already have the implicit stuff with the satanic panic and Eddie being the head of a “cult” that “warps minds”; Chrissy and Jason symbolising the all American heterosexual ideal, and Chrissy is then, in Jason’s eyes, defiled and destroyed in Eddie’s home.
like for a lot of s4 i was almost convinced we were building up to a final (possibly fatal) Jason and Eddie confrontation scene, especially considering the near miss Eddie has with Jason right before Patrick’s death.
i’m imagining Jason charging into the scene, beyond all reason, starts spouting bible quotes as if that will stop Eddie’s “murders.” and picturing that with the potential of Eddie being Vecna’s fourth victim? like the awful timing of Eddie being under Vecna’s curse while Jason is chanting scripture and Jason believing that he’s bringing about Eddie’s “divine retribution”? Nauseating.
126 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 20 days
Text
ao3
A gnawing sense of foreboding creeps up on Steve as they head to Eddie’s trailer, armed with weapons.
He tries to outrun it through action: ensuring he’s the first one to go through the Gate; jumping back and forth between The Upside Down and their world whenever someone forgets something, “It’s okay, I’ve got it!”; triple checking that the cables for Eddie’s amps are long enough; searching for the slightest thing than seizing upon it with an enthusiasm bordering on desperate, “Hey, we could use this, right? Better take it, just in case.”
But that only works for so long, and then Steve’s just standing in Eddie’s kitchen, the real one, staring blankly at the cupboards, all out of distractions.
Out of time.
He hears a grunt of exertion behind him, then an unsteady landing, a muffled curse. Eddie.
“Jesus Christ, Steve. Wanted to fit your aerobics routine in?”
He’s teasing, so light-hearted despite it all; Steve can’t stand it.
Keeps his back turned, gut twisting, opening the cupboards then slamming them shut, thump, thump. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He never has.
“Uh, so I was thinking,” Eddie continues, like Steve’s not doing anything weird, “that I could stretch out the, um, the song? My playing? Could buy you some more time, anyway.”
“Sure, great,” Steve says shortly.
He thinks—with a numb kind of calm—that he’s going to be sick.
He gets to the bathroom, tries to shut the door, but his grip slips on the handle.
Turns on the faucet, scoops cold water from his hands into his mouth, and it helps until it doesn’t, until he’s almost choking on it, and he’s been here before, the feeling familiar: a shadow looming over him, just waiting, waiting, and he knows it’ll pass, it always does, but he can’t stop thinking of Robin, it might not work out for us this time, and what if, what if—
He can hear Eddie knocking on the doorframe, just out of view—as if he’d seen Steve’s failed attempt at shutting the door and wanted to respect it.
“Hey, man, you okay?” Then Eddie mutters to himself, “Obviously not, get a fucking clue.”
Steve’s laugh is strangled but real. He wipes his mouth dry and shuts off the water.
“You don’t need to talk to a wall, dude,” he says.
And Eddie steps into view, leans against the open door. His eyes flicker across Steve’s face, and Steve doesn’t want to know what he’s noticed, so when Eddie opens his mouth hesitantly, he speaks first.
“We should—they’re gonna wonder where we are.”
Eddie pauses on the verge of speech; Steve watches him reevaluate whatever he was going to say.
“Well,” Eddie says, gesturing to the bathroom, matter-of-fact, “we could be peeing.”
Steve manages a chuckle. “You’re an idiot.”
Eddie grins like he’s saying yup, that’s me, like he’s won a prize.
Steve has seen him wear something close to that expression not even an hour ago: when the kids had started a line to use the bathroom in the RV, and Eddie had snorted, giggled with a childish kind of delight, “You—ha! You all look like you’re on a field trip,” before joining the line himself—calling out that he hoped their plan accounted for bathroom breaks because, “There’s no way I’m pissing in the alternate dimension,” and that had made Nancy break, laughing in a way Steve was certain he hadn’t heard since ‘83.
Eddie steps into the room and shuts the door quietly. Steve gets why: his breathing’s still all wrong, and if Dustin happened to see him, he doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself.
“Sorry.” Steve sucks in a breath, tries to hold it. Loses it in an exhale that shudders at the edges. He speaks through the tail end of it, hoping that’s enough to conceal the sound, “Gimme, like, two minutes.”
“Make it ten,” Eddie says.
The way he says it makes it seem like it’s already a done deal; he must’ve spoken to Robin and Nancy before he tumbled through the Gate.
Despite himself, Steve feels a wave of relief: just for a little while, he has time; it overpowers the shame, leaves him sinking down to sit on the closed toilet seat.
He closes his eyes, just breathes. In… out… in…
He doesn’t realise that Eddie’s sitting down, too, until he hears the clunk of his boots, the rustle of clothing as he moves.
“Sorry,” Steve says again, and it annoyingly still comes out a little shaky, like he’s in the pool and he’s left it too long to snatch a breath. “You can go back, man, I’ll… I’ll be right there.”
He opens his eyes to see Eddie shaking his head, sat with his back against the bathtub.
“Stop apologising,” Eddie says, and then it’s as if the seriousness of it is too much for him, because he adds, with a self-deprecating smile that Steve hates, “I get it. You’re walking into the dragon’s lair, I’m just putting on a concert.”
“Don’t,” Steve says, and he doesn’t intend for the word to come out as sharp as it does, but that doesn’t change the fact that he means it. He means it.
Eddie’s smile fades.
“Don’t,” Steve repeats, quieter. Not quite an apology.
Slowly, he moves off the toilet seat, until he’s sat next to Eddie. There’s just enough space that they don’t need to touch, but Steve presses his shoulder against Eddie’s anyway, like he can somehow pass on everything he means through that alone.
Eddie sighs, presses back for just a second. “Don’t what?” he asks. He sounds tired all of a sudden.
“Don���t—don’t joke like that,” Steve says. “Like you’re not—” He swallows. “Like it’s not dangerous.”
There’s a pause. Eddie reaches across and puts a hand on Steve’s knee. Squeezes briefly and pulls back; already Steve finds that he misses the warmth of him.
“Hey, don’t worry,” Eddie says. There’s no joke in this, not a trace. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to Dustin.” Another smile. Gentle. “Swear on his mother.”
I’m not worried about that, Steve wants to say, but of course that’s not true; he’s tried hard not to look at Dustin directly ever since they arrived at the trailer, because his throat would start to close up alarmingly whenever his gaze lingered, and he knows the kid’s doing that whole semi-aloof teenager thing lately, but a part of him still wants to hold him tight and never let go.
It’s more that the shape of Steve’s worry is different to what he thinks Eddie’s imagining, covers more than Dustin’s safety alone—that the cold dread in his stomach brings him back to the tunnels in ‘84; to clutching Dustin, who was so small, Steve desperately trying to shield him with his own body, thinking the kid’s thirteen, only thirteen, this isn’t fucking fair; and that if this had to end one way, all he could do was pray that he’d be the only one to…
And Steve hadn’t wanted to die, but he was suddenly facing it anyway, and Christ, looking back at it, that was crazy, the whole damn thing was crazy, but it all made a twisted kind of sense at the time.
Eddie must spot that his train of thought’s gone down a dark alley because he knocks their knees together, but he doesn’t say anything. Just breathes, slumped against the bathtub; it’s probably the first time he’s been still—truly still—in a long while.
He must be exhausted, Steve thinks.
The gnawing feeling digs in, grips his heart.
“I can hear you thinking,” Eddie says quietly. “Listen, Steve, I know I’m new to, uh… all of this shit, but I’m on it, okay? Got it all up in here,” he taps the side of his head, “trust me—”
That’s not what—I trust you, of fucking course I do, but—
“—no deviations, and—”
“Plans change,” Steve says, and he hears himself, the calm decisiveness, just get ready; Dustin’s scream carrying across the junkyard, Steve, abort, abort! “Just… just promise me.”
“Promise you?” Eddie murmurs.
Steve feels the words on his tongue, the weight of them. Don’t do anything stupid. 
He swallows them down—afraid suddenly that if he really puts a name to it, it’s going to happen.
Fuck it, he’s exhausted too, and for a long moment he evades speaking: gingerly rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Feels his body heat, the swell of his breathing.
Eddie doesn’t tense up, just lets him rest there. 
If I kissed you, Steve thinks, drained, would you stay?
He doesn’t say it. Instead he lifts his head and asks, “What are you doing tomorrow?”
Eddie chuckles. They’re still so close, Steve can feel his amused sigh.
“Tomorrow? I’ve not really… like, hopefully I’m not in jail. Anything else is a bonus.”
“We’ll fix it,” Steve says fiercely. “Trust me.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Eddie says, grinning fondly, but he sounds genuine. “Shit, man, I think you could do anything.” He gestures outside. “Got the fucking dream team out there.”
“We solved a secret Russian code last summer.”
Eddie laughs. “Did you?” His eyes sparkle with mirth.
You’re beautiful.
“Gospel truth, I swear,” Steve says. He tries to stay light, but he makes the vow anyway. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
I have so much to tell you.
They stand up, and Steve doesn’t know who’s the first one to move—just that they both probably sensed the time dwindling.
And maybe it’s that, the inescapable thought that something’s coming to an end that does it. Steve doesn’t know for sure, just knows that his eyes are burning suddenly—mortifyingly—with tears. He looks up at the ceiling, hurriedly trying to push them back, but Eddie notices anyway.
“Steve, what is it?” he whispers, with a look of utter devastation.
Steve shakes his head. “Just being stupid,” he says, voice brittle, cutting himself off before he can say something ridiculous.
God, Eddie, let’s just stay here and grow old.
“You’re not stupid,” Eddie says, heartfelt—he stops just short of touching Steve; he clearly wants to help so badly, but he doesn’t know how.
Steve wants to tell him it’s fine. He doesn’t know either.
Maybe nothing can help this.
They leave for the Gate in unspoken agreement; at first Steve finds comfort in the sight of Eddie dangling on the rope, not quite in either world. Like every possibility is laid out before him.
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
But there’s a near imperceptible shift as Eddie keeps climbing, and Steve needs to look away, anything to avoid the pit in his stomach: the suspicion that the path’s already been chosen.
423 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 21 days
Text
picturing Dustin watching at the trailer park, right after Eddie says, “Hey, Steve? Make him pay.”
And for some reason Dustin’s reminded of ‘84, of his conversation with Steve on the railroad tracks, it’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh... electricity, you know?—although he’s grown enough to suspect that Steve might not know everything in that regard.
And it’s not electricity he senses, not exactly, but it’s definitely a storm of some kind: something fragile. Something—someone—that’s very scared.
Dustin’s running before he’s even registered his decision. “Steve!”
Steve turns around, and he already looks like he’s about to ask a question—something practical, like whether Dustin’s forgotten something—and Dustin feels a twist of regret, that that’s where Steve’s mind goes; yeah, they’re all ready for battle, so it makes sense, but…
Feeling suddenly very young, Dustin barrels into Steve and hugs him.
He hears Steve’s surprised inhale, his hesitancy, before he returns the hug in full force.
For a little while, it’s like the world narrows down to only this. No ash in the air, no nightmarish red in the sky. Just the two of them.
Dustin’s about to pull away when he feels Steve’s chin dig into the top of his head. Hears him sniff, very quietly, like he’s trying to hide it; and that makes Dustin think of the tunnels, or afterwards, really, when Steve held onto him with shaking hands, kept saying, “We’re okay, we’re okay.”
So he just keeps hugging back.
Steve’s the one to let go; he’s smiling, but he looks a little sad too, forehead creased with worry.
“I need a ride tomorrow,” Dustin says.
Steve huffs. “Oh, yeah? Where to?”
Dustin taps his nose obnoxiously. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
It’s bullshit, of course; Dustin doesn’t need a ride anywhere.
Steve rolls his eyes, but some tightness in his jaw finally eases. “God, you’re such a dick.”
“Bright and early, Steve!” Dustin adds smugly. “Five am!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, waving him off, and for a moment it’s like they’re just in the school parking lot. He looks as if he’s about to say something else, then thinks better of it—glances back to where Robin and Nancy are waiting. He pulls Dustin in with one arm, a brief but tight hold. Nods, as if to himself. “Go on, scram.”
Dustin runs back to the trailer with a stitch in his side but a smile on his face. He knows it’s naive to think he can fix everything, but in this moment at least some part of the universe has been righted, even while in The Upside Down.
Eddie’s standing right where he left him, like he’s been frozen the whole time.
“Hey,” he says quietly. “is he, uh… is he okay?”
Dustin’s reminded that of course, Steve isn’t the only one who’s scared.
“Yeah, he will be,” he says, which he thinks is a more accurate answer than a simple yes or no.
It’s funny how life works, he muses while gathering supplies for the trailer defences. There’s no way he’d have thought even a week ago that Eddie would be sincerely asking him about Steve’s well-being. Whenever he happened to bring Steve up at Hellfire, Eddie would imitate him in a comedic falsetto, “Oh, Steve this, Steve that.”
For a minute, Eddie remains rooted to the spot, still staring in the direction of where Steve went—like he’d watched helplessly as Steve walked into the eye of a storm or something.
“You just gonna stand there and gawk?” Dustin says.
Eddie snorts. “So rude, Henderson.”
And it’s not like Dustin really knows, not when Steve and Eddie are still barely dancing around it themselves. Still, he can pick up on some things.
Like when they’ve finished setting up everything, waiting for the go-ahead for Eddie to start playing his guitar—to pass the time, they recount the high points of the day, keep it light. It’s a practice Eddie used to implement after campaigns.
And look, Dustin’s damn good at picking up on patterns. Like, he loves Steve, but he’s pretty sure the reality of him driving the hotwired RV doesn’t quite match up to how Eddie’s currently waxing lyrical about it.
He’s making it sound like it was something outta James Bond, Dustin thinks, when he’s sure Steve drove right into several trash cans.
Suddenly he knows exactly what he should do.
“Steve this, Steve that,” he sing-songs.
Eddie flushes; Dustin cackles.
“Fuck off,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling as Dustin keeps laughing, like he knows there’s nothing mean-spirited in it. He keeps going, Steve this, Steve that, talking right over Dustin’s teasing—somehow finding even more moments where Steve truly shines.
And Dustin doesn’t know everything, not even close, but at the very least, he knows that this feels right.
1K notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 21 days
Text
thinking about Steve who suffers through Dustin whining at him for rides to school—he secretly doesn’t mind, but he’s gotta put up some sort of protest or the kid will really start taking liberties—and one morning he pulls up to see Claudia’s car still in the driveway, even though Dustin definitely told him that she was already at work.
When he points it out, Dustin gets all defensive, “She’s busy, Steve!” before he launches into some complaint about homework—but Steve knows a distraction when he sees one.
He doesn’t point it out, hides his smile as he checks the side-view mirrors. Feels his heart glow with exasperated affection, that Dustin doesn’t need the ride at all—just wants to spend time with him.
“Take it I’m picking you up after school, too?” he says—and he knows that he is genuinely needed there, because Claudia sometimes finishes work two hours after the end of last period, and he’s not gonna leave Dustin to walk home in the dark, or subject him to the horrors of the bus.
“As long as it’s not a major inconvenience,” Dustin says precociously.
“You’re a major pain in my ass,” Steve says mildly, turning into the school parking lot. “Okay, got all your stuff? Yeah, yeah, see you—dude, how many times? Wipe your feet!”
But Dustin’s already out the car, waving with a smirk; Steve rolls his eyes dramatically.
But he doesn’t mind really: muddy footprints in the car are a small price to pay for family.
237 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 22 days
Text
ao3
A gnawing sense of foreboding creeps up on Steve as they head to Eddie’s trailer, armed with weapons.
He tries to outrun it through action: ensuring he’s the first one to go through the Gate; jumping back and forth between The Upside Down and their world whenever someone forgets something, “It’s okay, I’ve got it!”; triple checking that the cables for Eddie’s amps are long enough; searching for the slightest thing than seizing upon it with an enthusiasm bordering on desperate, “Hey, we could use this, right? Better take it, just in case.”
But that only works for so long, and then Steve’s just standing in Eddie’s kitchen, the real one, staring blankly at the cupboards, all out of distractions.
Out of time.
He hears a grunt of exertion behind him, then an unsteady landing, a muffled curse. Eddie.
“Jesus Christ, Steve. Wanted to fit your aerobics routine in?”
He’s teasing, so light-hearted despite it all; Steve can’t stand it.
Keeps his back turned, gut twisting, opening the cupboards then slamming them shut, thump, thump. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He never has.
“Uh, so I was thinking,” Eddie continues, like Steve’s not doing anything weird, “that I could stretch out the, um, the song? My playing? Could buy you some more time, anyway.”
“Sure, great,” Steve says shortly.
He thinks—with a numb kind of calm—that he’s going to be sick.
He gets to the bathroom, tries to shut the door, but his grip slips on the handle.
Turns on the faucet, scoops cold water from his hands into his mouth, and it helps until it doesn’t, until he’s almost choking on it, and he’s been here before, the feeling familiar: a shadow looming over him, just waiting, waiting, and he knows it’ll pass, it always does, but he can’t stop thinking of Robin, it might not work out for us this time, and what if, what if—
He can hear Eddie knocking on the doorframe, just out of view—as if he’d seen Steve’s failed attempt at shutting the door and wanted to respect it.
“Hey, man, you okay?” Then Eddie mutters to himself, “Obviously not, get a fucking clue.”
Steve’s laugh is strangled but real. He wipes his mouth dry and shuts off the water.
“You don’t need to talk to a wall, dude,” he says.
And Eddie steps into view, leans against the open door. His eyes flicker across Steve’s face, and Steve doesn’t want to know what he’s noticed, so when Eddie opens his mouth hesitantly, he speaks first.
“We should—they’re gonna wonder where we are.”
Eddie pauses on the verge of speech; Steve watches him reevaluate whatever he was going to say.
“Well,” Eddie says, gesturing to the bathroom, matter-of-fact, “we could be peeing.”
Steve manages a chuckle. “You’re an idiot.”
Eddie grins like he’s saying yup, that’s me, like he’s won a prize.
Steve has seen him wear something close to that expression not even an hour ago: when the kids had started a line to use the bathroom in the RV, and Eddie had snorted, giggled with a childish kind of delight, “You—ha! You all look like you’re on a field trip,” before joining the line himself—calling out that he hoped their plan accounted for bathroom breaks because, “There’s no way I’m pissing in the alternate dimension,” and that had made Nancy break, laughing in a way Steve was certain he hadn’t heard since ‘83.
Eddie steps into the room and shuts the door quietly. Steve gets why: his breathing’s still all wrong, and if Dustin happened to see him, he doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself.
“Sorry.” Steve sucks in a breath, tries to hold it. Loses it in an exhale that shudders at the edges. He speaks through the tail end of it, hoping that’s enough to conceal the sound, “Gimme, like, two minutes.”
“Make it ten,” Eddie says.
The way he says it makes it seem like it’s already a done deal; he must’ve spoken to Robin and Nancy before he tumbled through the Gate.
Despite himself, Steve feels a wave of relief: just for a little while, he has time; it overpowers the shame, leaves him sinking down to sit on the closed toilet seat.
He closes his eyes, just breathes. In… out… in…
He doesn’t realise that Eddie’s sitting down, too, until he hears the clunk of his boots, the rustle of clothing as he moves.
“Sorry,” Steve says again, and it annoyingly still comes out a little shaky, like he’s in the pool and he’s left it too long to snatch a breath. “You can go back, man, I’ll… I’ll be right there.”
He opens his eyes to see Eddie shaking his head, sat with his back against the bathtub.
“Stop apologising,” Eddie says, and then it’s as if the seriousness of it is too much for him, because he adds, with a self-deprecating smile that Steve hates, “I get it. You’re walking into the dragon’s lair, I’m just putting on a concert.”
“Don’t,” Steve says, and he doesn’t intend for the word to come out as sharp as it does, but that doesn’t change the fact that he means it. He means it.
Eddie’s smile fades.
“Don’t,” Steve repeats, quieter. Not quite an apology.
Slowly, he moves off the toilet seat, until he’s sat next to Eddie. There’s just enough space that they don’t need to touch, but Steve presses his shoulder against Eddie’s anyway, like he can somehow pass on everything he means through that alone.
Eddie sighs, presses back for just a second. “Don’t what?” he asks. He sounds tired all of a sudden.
“Don’t—don’t joke like that,” Steve says. “Like you’re not—” He swallows. “Like it’s not dangerous.”
There’s a pause. Eddie reaches across and puts a hand on Steve’s knee. Squeezes briefly and pulls back; already Steve finds that he misses the warmth of him.
“Hey, don’t worry,” Eddie says. There’s no joke in this, not a trace. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to Dustin.” Another smile. Gentle. “Swear on his mother.”
I’m not worried about that, Steve wants to say, but of course that’s not true; he’s tried hard not to look at Dustin directly ever since they arrived at the trailer, because his throat would start to close up alarmingly whenever his gaze lingered, and he knows the kid’s doing that whole semi-aloof teenager thing lately, but a part of him still wants to hold him tight and never let go.
It’s more that the shape of Steve’s worry is different to what he thinks Eddie’s imagining, covers more than Dustin’s safety alone—that the cold dread in his stomach brings him back to the tunnels in ‘84; to clutching Dustin, who was so small, Steve desperately trying to shield him with his own body, thinking the kid’s thirteen, only thirteen, this isn’t fucking fair; and that if this had to end one way, all he could do was pray that he’d be the only one to…
And Steve hadn’t wanted to die, but he was suddenly facing it anyway, and Christ, looking back at it, that was crazy, the whole damn thing was crazy, but it all made a twisted kind of sense at the time.
Eddie must spot that his train of thought’s gone down a dark alley because he knocks their knees together, but he doesn’t say anything. Just breathes, slumped against the bathtub; it’s probably the first time he’s been still—truly still—in a long while.
He must be exhausted, Steve thinks.
The gnawing feeling digs in, grips his heart.
“I can hear you thinking,” Eddie says quietly. “Listen, Steve, I know I’m new to, uh… all of this shit, but I’m on it, okay? Got it all up in here,” he taps the side of his head, “trust me—”
That’s not what—I trust you, of fucking course I do, but—
“—no deviations, and—”
“Plans change,” Steve says, and he hears himself, the calm decisiveness, just get ready; Dustin’s scream carrying across the junkyard, Steve, abort, abort! “Just… just promise me.”
“Promise you?” Eddie murmurs.
Steve feels the words on his tongue, the weight of them. Don’t do anything stupid. 
He swallows them down—afraid suddenly that if he really puts a name to it, it’s going to happen.
Fuck it, he’s exhausted too, and for a long moment he evades speaking: gingerly rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Feels his body heat, the swell of his breathing.
Eddie doesn’t tense up, just lets him rest there. 
If I kissed you, Steve thinks, drained, would you stay?
He doesn’t say it. Instead he lifts his head and asks, “What are you doing tomorrow?”
Eddie chuckles. They’re still so close, Steve can feel his amused sigh.
“Tomorrow? I’ve not really… like, hopefully I’m not in jail. Anything else is a bonus.”
“We’ll fix it,” Steve says fiercely. “Trust me.”
“Oh, I believe you,” Eddie says, grinning fondly, but he sounds genuine. “Shit, man, I think you could do anything.” He gestures outside. “Got the fucking dream team out there.”
“We solved a secret Russian code last summer.”
Eddie laughs. “Did you?” His eyes sparkle with mirth.
You’re beautiful.
“Gospel truth, I swear,” Steve says. He tries to stay light, but he makes the vow anyway. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
I have so much to tell you.
They stand up, and Steve doesn’t know who’s the first one to move—just that they both probably sensed the time dwindling.
And maybe it’s that, the inescapable thought that something’s coming to an end that does it. Steve doesn’t know for sure, just knows that his eyes are burning suddenly—mortifyingly—with tears. He looks up at the ceiling, hurriedly trying to push them back, but Eddie notices anyway.
“Steve, what is it?” he whispers, with a look of utter devastation.
Steve shakes his head. “Just being stupid,” he says, voice brittle, cutting himself off before he can say something ridiculous.
God, Eddie, let’s just stay here and grow old.
“You’re not stupid,” Eddie says, heartfelt—he stops just short of touching Steve; he clearly wants to help so badly, but he doesn’t know how.
Steve wants to tell him it’s fine. He doesn’t know either.
Maybe nothing can help this.
They leave for the Gate in unspoken agreement; at first Steve finds comfort in the sight of Eddie dangling on the rope, not quite in either world. Like every possibility is laid out before him.
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
But there’s a near imperceptible shift as Eddie keeps climbing, and Steve needs to look away, anything to avoid the pit in his stomach: the suspicion that the path’s already been chosen.
423 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 22 days
Text
bad news is that a headache kinda took me out of action for a bit 🥲 but good news is a new fic will actually be ready later this time! not any of the ones i’d originally planned to be done but the heart’s on an s4 missing scenes kick again, what can ya do ❤️
17 notes · View notes