You didn’t stay…
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With every
egg I'll ever carry I
was born and they
will leave
me
bloody one by
one, to wonder if I
am an Easter basket or some
walking coffin?
by me
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Your hands are the most comforting cage i’ve ever known
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Meet Me
Meet me where the sun meets
the horizon and color erupts
into the space between them.
Meet me in those moments where
the ocean meets lands and our
footprints are left in our
wake.
Meet me in those moments where
waking gives way to dreaming,
consciousness yielding to
unconscious.
Meet me there, in those moments
in between, of misfit, of
off-kilter passion.
Meet me there and there I
shall hold you for all time.
Meet me there.
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From our vertical files: "Curator of Books" by Julia Boynton Green.
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Incomplete
Tears fall from my eyes as I try to make sense of why I feel invisible at times.
The distance between us often feels like the span of a deep sea trench from an ocean surface.
Frustration boils my blood as I slowly chip away at the 6 foot wide wall you built around your heart.
Hurt from the past seemed to have turned you into stone.
As you give me nothing, my mind creates the idea that you could be my everything.
A solution to the God sized hole in my heart.
An answer to the questions that have no answers.
A map to my never-ending search for a life purpose.
My delusions often lead me down a road of disappointment.
With tears, anger, confusion, and resentment, I sit for days on end wondering why you couldn't fix me.
Life would be much easier if I could see people for what they are rather than the final piece to a puzzle that was missing pieces to begin with.
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These nights
Because in a crowd of faces I’d be faceless
Unnoticed, looked over, completely placeless
People see what they want
I’m not one they can flaunt
A knuckle to the chin
That sinking feeling within
Knowing you’re never the one
You knew it before you begun
Impossible to get you out of my mind these nights
You know what they say about hindsight
- A.B.G
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By the skin of my teeth : a poem
I wear my grandmother’s yellow Dhakai saree
like a child wears her mother tongue,
while my brother, angry about his new haircut,
throws tantrums,
like chairs thrown when the ‘man of the house’
is upset,
I forgive the men who
never made it official,
never said where I stand in their life,
never acknowledged me
in front of their friends,
My cat looks like ‘Forgiveness’ in all forms
& when a baby is born,
the mother keeps talking to him
regardless of whether he understands her language or not,
she will not care if he is crying or moving toy cars,
she will keep talking to him,
That’s what my mother did to my newborn brother
- Abhiti / Chiti
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But you never loved me…
You loved the idea of me. You loved the passion and attraction. You loved how I loved you. And in the end, you repeated how we fell in love…
with her.
because you never loved anyone.
You just need us all to love you.
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— Sylvia Plath
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I will kiss
you, always.
When you are,
here, when you
are gone, when
your lips are
blue and
rotten; I
will always
need to, want
to kiss you. So
your coffin
or mine?
by me
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i have mourned for you,
for a breathing flesh with no lust,
a tongue has never tasted grapes
mixed with her own salt.
your table is dusty
and there is no chair for me to sit,
but my mother taught me how to love
with patience, without strategy.
so i tried to see the color of your table
with a cloth on my hand
soaked with my own blood
tried to get rid of your dust
but dust turned into ashes
ashes turned into a fire
i wasted my handwork for nothing
you were still with the fire
no smile on your face
nor cruelty
because you can't be the performer,
can't be the fire or can't have any chairs more
i'll leave and your table will hug its dust again
your walls will never hear a singing voice again
you'll never be talented enough to build another chair
ones like me could come and go
but woman, they should know
your table is not dusty, it is made of dust
other people are not hell,
but you will always be the other one.
so i'll take my carnival with me
i'll conquer cities and kill gods on a spree.
you'll sit and sit and sit
with your splendid dusty table to touch
you're not even good enough to wait for something
my fire wouldn't die out
but it can't give you life
i wasted my blood for nothing
how can you miss the sunlight this much?
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I hesitate, balking at the
sight of orange pill bottles.
Tiny white pills with the
power of god stamped across
their chalky white bodies.
I hesitate, fearing the cost
of a healthy mind, will be
my writers soul.
After all, what else is there
left to write about when
the sadness is bled dry and
the darkness abates?
What am I, if I'm not a sad
poet with a tragic mind.
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