I removed my soul and set it aside to be read on a Sunday unlike today. Today my lonely is heavier than the earth and the weight of it has been killing me slowly. Time is birthing more time and I don't know what I want to do with the excess I already have.
- Sunday Poem, Bad Poetry and This Loving, Sakshi Narula
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Removing the Poison
Why would I be friends with her?
She sided with a pedophile
Called me a liar.
Yet she said she filed for divorce
But I know it’s a fib
To make her look better.
I know I cant trust her.
See the pattern with family members?
Forgive sure but forget never.
A healthy mind meant removing the poison.
Surrounded by too many alcoholics
And rapists alike. I started to understand
Why they called them survivors.
Surround by people tearing you down.
You can not bloom where your not watered.
Nurtured with love and compassion.
So I sew my own family together.
Found people I trusted with my life.
My pain and secrets- those I knew
Would not hurt me.
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Don't force love.
Don't force ties.
Don't force connections.
Don't force conversations.
©️Jasmine
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The Moon was so beautiful that the ocean held up a mirror.
—Ani DiFranco
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I want you to hate me. Because I truly love proving myself right.
I love satisfying the sick whispers of self loathing and controlling the narrative of how this love will end, in time.
Because I know how to hurt you and sometimes I do it without even trying I’ve got this bitter guilt and this ever-quick poisonous bite.
I am not loveable or cute or the girl everyone wants to fawn over I am the girl people compare to hurricanes because it’s a promise that I will destroy everything in sight.
It’s an imposter, a facade, some type of trick of the light this version of me you love has never aligned with the one that whispers harsh truths to me late at night.
No, I’m not her, and I don’t deserve any of your love, because given the chance I’m still that sharp tongued snake always ready to poison the ones who take a selfless step in the murky waters to try to hold my head above.
So I’ll push you so far away, to the point that you stop understanding why you ever even contemplated fighting to stay.
Because honestly I truly love being right.
Letting you think I’m a monster means you’re finally meeting the dark voice who’s been whispering words of hatred to me every night.
The self fulfilling prophecy - t.k.o
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“I don't feel alone with you. I feel like I have a family and a home again. You're my home. All of the dark shadows seem to disappear when we're together.”
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