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She did not want
The safe and familiar
she needed to be lost
In the insanity of lust
The intoxication
of her senses
to lose control …
in his arms “
~Dark Stranger©
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i am given birth to by my mother. i am brought home to a falling-apart trailer. i am fed and i am not fed enough. i am aged into a small being with opinions and some semblance of autonomy; my childhood is a video game and i am given three objectives: sit down, stay quiet, and cease to exist. i am made good at the last part; it is a god-like sort of art, and so i do. silence is suited for me as well as i am suited for silence.
i am told, gently, by my third-grade teacher to stop writing in passive voice. the noun of the sentence should be the actor, the doer, the taker. i am not a taker. never the actor of my own consciousness, of my own unconsciousness, remember, now, i am ceasing to exist.
i am uprooted like a wilting plant, no sunlight, chipped terracotta pot, placed, never planted. grow, says the sunlight seeping between the drawn shutters, and i deny its case. i am made a masochist at all of eight-years-old, i am made for withering away. i am made mother, made martyr, made clever, made more, made machine.
i am placed in a foster home and told the new rules. i will sleep at 2130 and wake at 0600. i will eat blueberries and coconut yogurt and i will make good grades. i will behave. i will sit down, i will stay quiet, and i will cease to exist.
i am told, gently, by my ninth-grade teacher to stop writing in passive voice. like this, you are the subject of the sentence. i am brought home; i am subjected to my sentence. i am taught, i am created, i am embittered, i am disillusioned, i am ceasing. it is all i know how to do.
blurring letters litter the pages before me. maya angelou, oh pray my wings are gonna fit me well. oh, tell the hell-child to return to her cell. mangled beast, worthless mongrel, ceasing. perfect child, perfect victim, passive. the sentences are diagrammed by my expert hand and i am diagrammed as well, pages in a folder, problem child, trouble-maker, mentally unstable. infinitive, preposition, page-break.
my eleventh-grade teacher is asked why was it okay for maya angelou to write in passive voice? she responds, because to write in active voice would take the focus from the corpse to the crew. i like that. i understand it. the pages aren’t so blurry anymore. i trace them with my fingertips, letter-by-letter. her bones were found//round thirty years later//when they razed//her building to//put up a parking lot.
i am no longer still, silent, ceasing. i am no longer wilting, and no longer made, i am maker.
grow, says the sunlight seeping between the drawn shutters. i am neither the corpse nor the crew. i reach forward with trembling hands,
and i pull the cord, and the light floods through.
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I thought I never experienced love,
The rush in your veins,
The racing of your heart,
Things that people call butterflies;
But the love I found was nothing like that,
He was like a fine wine getting better with age,
While I was like a bird rotting in its cage.
He was full of calmness inside,
While I was like a turbulent storm;
Talking with him was all I needed to feel alright,
And his shoulder felt like home;
When he was with me I desired no more,
Because love is found in comfort;
Not in chaos.
Saumya Thapliyal
(Do follow @shareapoetry on Instagram💕)
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I told my therapist once, she's an easy person to love, maybe because love comes naturally to you. I've grown to love us in this present moment, the way our orbits so delicately interconnect. I don't miss the way it was, but I like to sit and write you letters sometimes. You were a permanent address in my brain for two years, it's hard to shake the habit.
To be fair, I haven't been trying very hard.
-my poem
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Inevitably [You]
I love you.
Unequivocally.
Inexplicably.
Inevitably.
I love you
with the rage
and intensity
of a thousand suns
and the depth
and secrecy
of the deepest ocean.
I love you
with the madness
and passionate approach
of a gifted musician;
with the magical
and extraordinary eye
of an artist.
I love you
in your every facet:
in your brightest outlooks
and in your desperate times;
when you love me the deepest,
and when you don’t even want to try.
I love you.
Unequivocally.
Inexplicably.
Inevitably.
You.
Only you.
@twisted0limbs your wish is my command ;-)
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Wanting to Feel
~Dark Stranger©
she wanted to feel
his hands on her hips
nails digging into her skin
the passion
-
She wanted to feel
the lust.…the madness
of his thrust. invading her
taking her ...using her
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She wanted to feel
The relentless savage
unyielding depravity
the animal
she wanted to feel… Him.
~Dark Stranger©
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