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robintherobiner · 14 days

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What would the Wayne Family and the Bat Family post tiktok

Bruce: videos of him buying new outfits with the material girl sound over it because, according to one post, 'his kids said it was funny and he liked seeing them smile'. on his official account though (the wayne enterprises one) his 'social media manager' posts clips from interviews and soundbites.

Batman: does not have a tiktok.

Dick: posts videos of him either doing gymnastics or of him hanging out with his siblings. Most of the time he is throwing up a peace sign and then Tim and Damian are wrestling in the background and he captions it something along the lines of 'brothers drawing blood in Blud!'

Nightwing: posts videos of short self defense tips/poses, regularly collabs with Red Hood. (not that Jason knows this, Dick just sets up a camera and then goes and bothers his brother until he tries to punch him so he can teach people to block)

Barbara: Posts videos talking about accessibility (both whats available and what should be put in place). if one of the wayne's annoy her, she also will post a compilation of them doing something silly like tripping over thin air or being caught using a hairbrush as a microphone)

Oracle: posts clips of people doing non violent crimes (faces blurred out ofc) with the caption "the eye in the sky sees you, dumbass." because why would you try ack a car on a street with three non-hidden cameras

Jason: doesn't post. anymore. does have an account from when he was a teenager where it's just him doing sped up acting videos to sounds. he has tried to log in to take it down but Bruce changed the password. Brucie regularly comments on different videos like "my baby was such a star... rip sweetie 🕊️🕊️🕊️" and its Jason lip-syncing to fucking Justin Bieber or something

Red Hood: posts videos shitting on Batman. the comments were full of people saying "daddy issues" or "i wanna be a dealer just so you can shoot me babygirl" so he turned them off. sometimes someone (tim) turns them back on and Jason gets bombarded with "BRO IS SERVING CUNT"

Cassandra: posts videos of her doing ballet, or of her showing off her strength. Not on purpose though, she thinks its fun to post videos of her teasing her brothers and the comments are like "WHY DID SHE JUST PICK UP DICK GRAYSON WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT WHAT"

Orphan: has a shared account with Batgirl, but she doesn't post on it, just sort of stands in the background as Steph makes funny videos.

Stephanie: enjoys posting videos pretending to be dating both Tim and Cass because she thinks its funny when the internet call her a gold digger and cheater. Bernard (after going public with Tim) occasionally fuels the fire by commenting "lmao get ur bag girl" under a video of her dragging Tim to a resturant

Batgirl: posts videos of her making fun of rogues, and on her shared account with Cass, just joins in on trends but obviously mixing it to fit her (aka: "when Batman lectures you for breaking a criminals leg but your literally just a teenage girl")

Timothy: like Bruce, he has two accounts. One is professional, with him promoting Wayne Enterprises products or whatever. Second one is full of him doing wild shit like skateboarding down the manor stairs or him trying to confuse Bruce with cringey slang. his most popular video though, is of him using the Nepo Baby sound by Fox SZN

Red Robin: posts slideshows of pictures of Gotham. All very aesthetic ones, of good architecture and people laughing together and shit. His bio is "showing you guy why I do what I do." His account is very artsy fartsy but he also was the first batfamily member to get verified

Duke: doesn't post, just likes videos.

Signal: posts videos of him trying to scare the other vigilantes, cuz, yknow, he can go invisible. tell me you wouldn't do that either if you could be invisible. exactly, you can't. He also makes videos about how hard it is to be a teen vigilante.

Damian: videos of his pets doing tricks. also regularly stitches Tim's videos and just deadass insults him. Tim always comments on his stitches with just a singular emoji because he found out it pisses Damian off more when he doesn't have a big reaction

Robin: posts about resources for gothamites. also has a shared account with Superboy (Jon) where they try and sneak up on both Superman and Batman. They have yet to succeed on either one.

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lazycats-stuff · 8 months

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Can you do a batfam x baby bro reader? Where Bruce puts reader in a Batman onesie and it was cute and when they boys see it they all start fighting, which turns physical quick, over who’s costume reader should wear a onesie of next

There would be murder in the manor anon, not just a fight. Couldn't find a gif with a Batman onesie so have this baby hippo. Also, a short fluffy story for melting hearts.

Summary: Bruce buys (Y/N) a Batman onesie. It ends up in a fight.

Warnings: Brothers fight for their baby bro.

It was started on a Saturday morning. Alfred had to go to the grocery store and Bruce decided to tag in. (Y/N) was too and Bruce thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to take (Y/N) with him. Alfred didn't oppose to it and (Y/N) needed to see a little bit more about the world.

And that's why Alfred, Bruce and (Y/N) were in Target just browsing for groceries. Bruce and (Y/N) in his arms were just walking around. Bruce stopped at the clothing department. (Y/N) had a lot of onesies, but what caught his eyes was a Batman one.

Bruce smiled at that, walking to them. He took one, showing it to his (Y/N).

" What do you think? Should we buy it? " Bruce said and (Y/N) started laughing. " You got it. " Bruce said, adjusting (Y/N) in his arms and started walking back to Alfred.

" Hey Alfred, what do you think? " Bruce asked, showing him the onesie. Alfred chuckled, pushing the cart.

" This will cause a fight back home. " Alfred said and the two started moving to the register.

" Oh come on. It's just a onesie Alfred. " Bruce said and Alfred shook his head.

" Say that to them. " Alfred said, waiting to be checked out. " I mean, why would they fight over a onesie. "

" Because they love their brother very much. " Alfred pointed out.

" I know, but still over a onesie? "

" Master Bruce, they will fight. Trust me on this. "

They came home 30 minutes later and Bruce quickly changed his son into a Batman onesie. Alfred quietly shook his head at the sight. He loves his grandson, but this was going to be messy.

After 10 minutes, everyone started pilling into the kitchen. And each one stopped, starring at their baby brother. They would usually run up to their brother, pick him up and just kiss his head.

(Y/N) was the anchor of the family and the brothers wanted to protect him and kill for him.

" I'm sorry, why is he wearing a Batman onesie? " Jason asked, pointing at his baby brother.

" Why not? " Bruce retorted and the brothers started glaring at each other.

" He should wear a Robin one. " Damian said and that has started a big argument. Bruce glanced at Alfred who just smirked in response. Jesus Christ.

It was all kind of good until somebody threw a first punch. Bruce had to step back, but the four brothers moved to the living room, away from (Y/N).

" Hey! " Bruce yelled out, but he wasn't heard at all. The tornado of four boys continued outside to the garden. There were grunts and one of them is going to end up breaking something.

" What have I done? " Bruce asked himself. (Y/N) just watched in wonder tilting his head in wonder.

" Interesting noises huh. " Bruce talked to his son, who giggled and reached for Bruce's nose.

" Yeah, I know. Alfred, holding him while I make sure that those idiots don't kill one another. " Bruce said and Alfred took his grandson gladly.

" Master (Y/N), I have told him so. " Alfred said, listening to Bruce yelling. He shook his head at his other grandsons. " Hopefully, you will be more calm than them when you grow up. "

(Y/N) just started giggling.

#dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #batman x male reader #batkids #fluff

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dairy-farmer · 3 months

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Seriously can't stop thinking about Beta!Tim... just? That hot tight body? Not made to take a knot but taking it ANYWAY? Gasping for air as he feels like he's being split in two? Unable to wriggle away?

And Batman who thinks he's SO safe. This Robin is a BETA. He definitely can't catch feelings NOW. Definitely won't want to pin him down and fill him up. Make him PACK.

But he DOES and it's like a bomb of serotonin to his poor happiness starved little bat brain. Tighter then anything and his His HIS. Licking and scenting, all sweetness and soothing, as poor Timmy feels like he's DYING. Stuffed so full he'll pop like a balloon.

And Bruce can FEEL the outline of it. FEEL it, from where his hand rests on that perfect stomach, when he spills and gushes DEEP. Makes him plump up like he's pregnant, just from whats trapped inside. So punch drunk HIGH on how good it feels, he barely remembers to rub and tease that little clit. Make Tim feel good too.

He'd never let Bruce touch him again if he doesn't, after all.

And poor Tim can't eat sit up the next day. Not that Bruce is particularly upset. Hell, his controlling ass LOVES carting around his Robin to take care off.

And Omega!Dick? How TIRED he is of being objectified? Lusted after like MEAT? But a Heat is a Heat. You can't escape them. And he's still FURIOUS with Bruce. Doesn't WANT to submit to ANYONE.

HE wants to be in control.

His eyes catch on Tim.

Tim who he caught with Omegan training plugs, of all things. Designed for smaller omegas who's Alpha's are... Gifted(tm). And hadn't one been missing?

He decides to find out if his hunch is correct. Drags the younger Beta into his nest.

It IS.

And unlike some "Me Alpha, Me In Charge!" Alpha knothead? Timmy gasps and squirms and submits so beautifully? Let's him take charge and sink into ALL those impulses he's been fighting. Wrapping him up tight like an octopus and rutting into him hard and deep.

Dumping into him again and again, like he's trying to milk himself dry. Wringing so many orgasms out of him, his poor little Beta is sobbing for air, shaking. Clinging to him. Shhh, shhh, Dick has you~ gonna take SUCH good care of you. Go ahead and pass out. He'll be here when you wake up.

Tim is once again on bed rest.

Because these fuckers wanna split him in half or marathon sex him into oblivion. He is a BETA. Jason coming back, a walking tank of an Omega. The little stabby shit Alpha Blood Son. His half KRYPTONIAN Alpha Bro and Speedster Omega Bro.

Ha ha... his puss is in Danger(tm) *cold sweat*

-🐼

tim being an innocent little beta who is not made for these alpha knots and omegas who desperately want to knock him up with the way they fuck him 😩😩😩😩. he needs to train his poor beta hole to be able to take knots and the thorough fucking that omegas on their heat give him. and then bruce!!!! bruce who goes around telling dick and jason and damian that tim is an omega and so they don't have to worry about pupping him because it's so rare!!! its his fault!!! it's his fault when tim gets pupped because they're all damnably horny who can't bare to have tim go one day without a cock lodged inside him.

#answered asks #asks #anonymous #brutim #dicktim

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002yb · 8 months

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Dick and Jason have a STRONG brother-complex when it comes to each other. Canonically speaking, both "pairs" of brothers are about seven years apart. Dick is around seven years older than Jason, Tim is about seven years older than Damian. But. All things considered Tim and Damian have a pretty healthy (as healthy as it can get with protective Bats and uh, the whole "I tried to kill you" thing) brother relationship. In fact, Bruce, Cassie, anyone who knows them well enough, including themselves, consider their relationship the ideal type of relationship two Bat-bros can have.

Dick and Jason? They have never been normal about each other. Not once in their lives. The way they fight with each other is as though they cannot STAND the idea of the other being alive but they also can't stand the idea of anyone else fighting the other the way they fight each other. These two could say the absolute most heinous shit to each other, stuff other people would be TERRIFIED to ever even bring up to one of them. And afterwards? They act like that shit never happened. They could've just beat each other the fuck up and they'll just shrug it off and go get some lunch or something. No fucks given for what anyone else has to say.

Except, everyone else around them DOES have shit to say. And its along the lines of "You two are stupidly toxic to one another, stop interacting for a while and get your shit together". Its an intervention. But no. Anyone says this to either of them they are immediately defensive to the max. Like who tf are you to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing with MY brother???

Let's make this wholesomely toxic. Where Dick and Jason's relationship appears volatile and abusive to outsiders, but for them it's nothing so cruel despite all the cruelties that get woven into all their interactions.

For them, their relationship is safe. Healthy? No, but that's not the point. Dick and Jason are controlled dangers to one another; a reprieve from bluster and bravado and professionalism, from too-close calls and the frustrations of not making a damn difference despite the effort made. Others might not understand, but they don't need to. Dick and Jason provide stability; they're a safety net, a lighthouse, a punching bag. Whatever is needed.

The both of them respond well to violence: both with taking it and doling it out, though if Jason is honest - one of them might like taking it a bit more; one of them might like throwing down a bit more, too.

That besides, Jason provokes fights when he needs to. Both for himself but also for Dick because Dick has appearances to keep up; the burden of expectations, golden boy that he is. He makes up for it by making himself available when Jason needs him though. It's a fair trade off.

Jason notices that Dick is teetering on that tightrope he walks, overburdened and overlooked - not so much buckling beneath the strain of the world's problems thrust upon him as he is flighty because with their line of work? It's easy to get discouraged and frustrated and angry because of disappointment and perceived failure because nothing changes.

And Jason? He's always been sensitive to the small tells - a defensive mechanism from childhood that never left him. So he notices that Dick isn't himself. He also notices that no one is helping him.

While that's not necessarily anyone's fault because Dick is notoriously (to Jason) controlled, it's sad. Dick is a showman at heart and he knows how to fool the people he wants to fool, but there should be someone else that notices besides Jason.

But there isn't, so Jason steps up.

Picking a fight just so that Dick can get angry and let go of some of that rage he clings to so tightly. Giving Dick something to be violent with and someone to direct all that wrath towards. And it's fine because Jason can take it. Jason takes it greedily, almost.

Because it's a sight to see Dick lose control and get angry and violent. It's something Jason taunts Dick about to rile him further, making jabs at how Dick is a golden boy tarnished ('better tarnished than buried,' Dick retorts and Jason barks out a laugh at the biting savagery in the quip, snarling with a busted lip and bloody teeth. Jason learns that he likes when Dick gets mean - he thinks he might have always, to be honest).

Jason can take a beating. He can take as much as Dick wants to give and then some. And Jason knows it's twisted, but it gets his heart racing: the fight, the thrill, the challenge and struggle, a back and forth that ends with bruised jaws and bared teeth and heaving chests regardless of who started what or who needed it.

It's just them with lifted chins and mean smiles at scathing words of accusation and degradation and it never fails that Jason feels electric afterwards, especially when he can see how he made Dick work for it - beating Jason's ass (and in a similar vein, with how Jason is the reason the tension in Dick's shoulders is less; how Jason is the reason behind how Dick looks warm and wild and wonderful after fighting tooth and nail).

#dickjay #jaydick

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ticklish-n-stuff · 8 months

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Tickletober day #9: Lie

Based on this piece of art by the wonderful and amazing @fluffyweeby Tysm for allowing me to write this, and I hope I do these boys justice :3

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Jason x Damian (PLATONIC)

Lee: Damian

Ler: Jason

Warnings: Tickles! Sibling bonding :3

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A little bird (also known as Tim) had told Jason that Damian was allegedly ticklish.

"Pfft, no way" was what Red Hood thought at first, but the possibility of it still lingered in his mind. I mean, how cute and funny would it be if Damian of all people started squealing like a kid? I mean, he was a kid after all. If anything, he'd be doing him a favor.

Being as nonchalant as he was, Jason went with the most straightforward approach possible. "Hey Dami, are you ticklish?"

"No, don't ask stupid questions Todd" the younger one deadpaned in his usual harsh tone. But you gotta remember, this is a family of detectives. It wasn't hard for Jason to notice the way Damian avoided eye contact and the slightest drop of sweat forming on his forehead. He practically gave himself away, but the fun is seeing it for yourself.

"Not ticklish at all? So really nothing, huh?" Jason had approached the younger male, his hands instantly latching onto Robin's sides.

"Mhmmmm—" Damian had to bite down on his lip to prevent any sound to come out. He'd be damned if the superior Robin got taken down with mere tickles, not like he was ticklish though...

"So if I were to tickle here or here you wouldn't laugh?~" Jason's amused smirk grew wider as he experimented on different spots, prodding at his ribs, fluttering his fingers under his arms, even reaching up to the youngling's neck. Although he didn't get a proper reaction yet, watching Damian struggling to keep his composure was a joy in it's own.

"N-nope! Cause I'm not tiHIcklish!" Damian's hands instantly flew up to cover his mouth when his voice raised in pitch. It seemed that Jason had snuck his hands down and gave a surprise squeeze to his hips.

The ex-assasin shot a glare up at his older brother "Todd, I swear—"

"Yeah yeah, swear all you want~" Jason retored teasingly as he continued to knead his fingers along the sensitive waist.

"HNGH!" Damian doubled over, his hands clutching around his stomach for dear life. His face transitioning through all the red colors imaginable.

"C'mon, baby bird. Can't hold it in forever~" Jason managed to pick up the shorter male with ease, swinging him over his shoulder.

"Gah! Unhand me right now!" Damian tried kicking and punching his way out, but Jason was too resilient.

"Not yet, I still got another spot to test out~" Jason gave a squeeze to Damian's knee, testing out the waters. Once he felt a sharp gasp escape his younger brother, he knew he had hit the jackpot.

"W-wait! bwAHAHAHAHA! TOHOHODD, LET ME GOHOHO!" Damian squealed and thrashed around Jason's hold, trying so hard to break free. Alas, his big bro could be just as stubborn as him.

"Woah! Who knew that you could laugh so cutely?~" Jason kept wriggling his fingers along the soft spot behind his knees, sending Damian into a fit of hysterics.

"I-IHIHI'LL KILL YOHOU! GAHAHAHAHA!"

"Whatever you say, kid" threats aside, it was pretty cute seeing his baby bro acting like a kid for once. Not that Jason would admit that out loud.

Once Damian started hiccuping through his laughter, Jason decided to show a bit of mercy and put him back down. The young Robin instantly sucked in as much air as he could, his cheeks were still all flushed and he was desperately trying to fight back the leftover smile.

"I... *hic* I will have my revenge..." he declared before storming out of the room, classic Damian.

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IM SORRY IF THIS IS ASS IM TRYING OK?! THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING THEM AND IM AIDHAKRHKSHRKSHE

#augtickletober2023 #tickletober2023 #batman wayne family adventures #bwfa tickle #bwfa tickle fic #tickle fic #jason todd #damian wayne #ler!jason #lee!damian

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givemeanaccountalready · 3 months

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I adore Spy x Family. I’ve been following it since the first couple of chapters were released. It’s adorable and it can sucker punch you right in your heart’s solar plexus and you will thank it. Chapter 95 came out this morning, and I decided to try my hand at predicting what’s going to happen next chapter.

Spoilers under the cut:

Just some brief context for those who don’t follow it: it’s the end of term school dance, and a good chunk of these first-graders are politically savvy. Anya and Damian have each gathered a number of potential dance partners. Anya would like to dance with Damian to ensure world peace. Damian is a tsundere. Damian’s besties, Emile and Ewen, have decided that the best way to wingman for their bro is to hold their version of The Bachelor. The chapter ends.

Here are Anya’s four potential dance partners. Only one has a name:

Twilight, because of course he is, rates the four boys in terms of potential sources of intelligence. Arnold Crowley is a B tier source, the unspecified Hyatt boy is a C+, and then he notes that the other two boys are B and C tier respectively. If I had to guess, the Hyatt boy is probably the first one to have asked Anya to dance, and I circled him in green. The boy with glasses circled in blue is probably the B tier while the boy with the Naruto grin circled in red is probably the C tier one.

My guess for chapter 96 is that Anya will participate in The Bachelor Jr™️ until one of the first four boys references Bondman, her favorite show in-universe. Little miss “Let me smack the fuck out of the fake bomb that only I know is fake to fuck with Damian, and guess I’ll save everyone using my ESPR powers to my advantage,” has the impulse control of a coked out squirrel running across a busy freeway. She’s probably 5 years old and is the only Eden cast member to routinely act like a child, she would ultimately choose to rave about her favorite show than try her hand at ensuring world peace. My money is that red boy will win. He seems the most on her level of “I’m here for a good time, and to the dismay of these snobs, a long time.”

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who she chooses, just that Damian feels that it wasn’t him, and Damian will once again pronounce the whole dance as stupid (which sounds right for a 6-7 year old boy) and stalk off. I think Demetrius will reappear (probably sneaking away from the 8th grade dance as many middle schoolers are wont to do) and the two brothers will have a talk of sorts. Twilight, while in disguise, will hang around in the shadows to eavesdrop. The two brothers will talk until Damian mentions their father, to which Demetrius will shut down and storm off again. The chapter will end with Twilight learning that Donovan Desmond is distant to both his sons and question the viability of Plan B: the Friendship Scheme, or maybe Operation Strix as a whole.

#spy x family spoilers #spy x family predictions #spy x family 95 #gimme rambles

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sparkypantaloons · 2 years

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sm0l Jason Todd produces BIG angst

I'm so sorry. I know what it was you meant by this ask, but sm0l Jason turned into shrunken Jason and BIG angst turned into actual crack. Apologies. But enjoy - my first ever crack fic.

Red Hood's Barbie Dream House

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose, takes a deep breath.

"I feel like you're not taking this seriously." He says.

"No, we are!" Dick assures him, still trying to suck his cheeks in and stop himself laughing.

"Very seriously." Steph adds, eyes wide and nodding.

"Fuck you." Jason says from where he sits on the medbay cot, his voice ridiculously high pitched. "Fuck all of you."

Dick and Steph double over laughing again, clinging to each other for support. Bruce can feel a headache coming on.

"You're a pair of assholes!" Jason squeaks again, and jumps down to the floor. He barely reaches Dick's knees, shrunken as he is by whatever spell hit him. But it doesn't stop him from sinking his teeth into his brother's leg.

Dick smirks, reaches down and picks Jason up by the scruff of his neck. "Didn't even feel that, bro."

Jason let's go a string of expletives, too high to be understood.

"Dick." Bruce says in a warning voice.

"Okay, okay." Dick relents, but he's still smirking. He places Jason down, inside one of the glass tanks they use for potentially toxic and/or exploding items. Jason is too small to get out. "There you go Jay, nice and safe."

Steph is crying with laughter at this point, Jason's tiny fists pounding on the glass.

"Wait wait wait!" Steph says, gathering herself. Then she pulls off one of her boots and yanks the sock off her foot. "A sleeping bag, Hood. So you don't get cold." She drops it in the tank.

"Enough." Bruce intones, rolling his eyes, as high pitched squeaking echoes off the walls of the tank. It's coupled with little 'plink' sounds as Jason kicks and punches the glass. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Computer, call Zatanna."

The next day Steph shows up at the Manor, mid-afternoon. She's carrying a large box in her arms.

Bruce eyes it suspiciously. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Steph smiles innocently, ponytail swinging. She walks through to the den. "Is Dick here?"

Bruce follows her, eyes on the box. "He's just picking Damian up from school."

Steph is looking far too pleased with herself. She plonks the box down on the coffee table. "And where's Jason?" She asks sweetly.

Bruce feels a headache coming on. "He's in the library."

Steph gives him a wicked smile. "I brought him some things." She says, then pulls an old Barbie Dream House out of the box.

"Stephanie..." Bruce starts and he doesn't know if he's chastising her or begging her.

"What?" She shrugs. "A little man needs a little house." She says, as though it were obvious.

Bruce picks up the sign that's been attached to the roof. Hand painted in big red letters. 'Red Hood's safe house. Keep out.' He raises his eyebrows.

Steph tries to hold back a grin. Busies herself with setting out the little table and chairs and bed.

Bruce sighs. "I'll be in the Cave."

"Bruce!" Jason's high pitched voice, squeaks through the comm. "Bruce, I swear I will murder your children in their sleep!"

"Please murder me first." Bruce mutters to himself.

"What?" Jason shrills.

"Nothing." Bruce says brightly. "What's wrong?"

Jason has been Barbie-sized for three days now, with no choice but to let the magic wear off, according to Zatanna. Though Bruce can't help but wonder if that's because she's still annoyed Batman banned her rabbits from the Watchtower. Either way, Jason is stuck dressing in Tim's old G. I. Joe's clothes for a few more days at least. And Bruce is stuck enduring the consequences.

Once upon a time he would have been thrilled at the thought of having Jason home for even an afternoon, let alone an entire week. Now, Bruce almost regrets insisting that Jason stay at the Manor until he returned to normal. For what his son now lacks in size, he is making up for in rage.

Unsurprisingly, the rest of Bruce's children are utterly delighted.

Steph not only brought over her old Barbie Dream House (which Jason had proceeded to try and destroy before Tim put him in a vase "for a time out") she also brought over Barbie's pink convertible. Jason had spent the entire first battery charge driving it repeatedly into Tim's ankles.

Damian meanwhile, had found an old Buckaroo game up in the attic and had taken to challenging Jason to a demented sort of miniature rodeo. Often plonking his brother on the horse when he was least suspecting it. The last time it happened, Jason had spent the rest of the day learning to ride Titus. Then had made the old dog charge straight at his ten year old owner, knocking him down everytime Damian left his room.

Tim, on the other hand, had come home one evening with an expensive looking dress box. Only to reveal a tiny, white wedding dress with attachable wings inside. "You can be this years Christmas fairy!" He had laughed, setting off the rest of his siblings.

Jason had been furious, but had already realised that kicking, punching and biting had no effect on his much larger siblings. Instead, he had waited until Tim was asleep, creeped up on the younger man's bed and unceremoniously yanked out a fistful of nose hairs. Tim's yelling had woken the whole house.

Worst of all had been Dick, who lost any sympathy he might have had within hours, and spent entire days seeing how much he could annoy Jason. If it wasn't challenging the tiny man to lift up various house hold objects ("I bet you can't lift this fork. I bet you can't pick up a cufflink. Bet you're too puny to carry a plum.") it was leaving him in precarious situations - to keep his skills sharp, apparently.

Bruce had put a stop to it, when one of the tests was Jason tied to the toy railway tracks with hair elastics.

Cass alone had seemed uninterested in riling Jason up, content to let him sit on her shoulder as she went about her day. (Jason had tried to suggest he sit on her head like the rat in that Disney film Bruce had hated, but had Cass looked as though she'd rather have an actual rat on her head).

It had all been going quite well and then, unsurprisingly, there had been a fall out. Bruce didn't even want to know what, but Cass had been so annoyed she'd put Jason on the top shelf of the library and left him there all day. Bruce has been required to wear a comm 24/7 now, so Jason can at least call for help if he needs it.

"B, are you even listening to me?" Jason shrieks.

"Sorry, Jay. What were you saying?"

"I said, you need to chase up my clothes order! I can't wear these cargo pants anymore. I'll just go naked Bruce, don't test me."

Bruce sighs. He's beginning to wonder if maybe he should just beg a favour off John Constantine, put a stop to all the nonsense.

By the eighth day, Jason is a tiny storm, in an actual tea cup. Fed up with being pint sized and the smallest in the family, he sits in a mug on Bruce's desk, glaring at his father.

"If you loved me you'd fix this." He says, for the ninth time.

Bruce tries not to growl, swings the screen to face his son. "Literally all I do is try and find solutions." He says irritably. Given how small Jason is, Bruce is desperate for some space.

"Some great detective you are." Jason sulks. "It's been eight days Bruce! Eight days and you—"

There's a sudden poof of smoke and clang of breaking crockery and then a full sized Jason sat on Bruce's desk. Stark naked.

Jason's eyes widen - half in glee, half in embarrassment.

Bruce crosses his arms. "You were saying?"

Jason gives an awkward grin. "Err... That I love you and you're the best and now please give me your pants?" He says, trying to at least maintain some dignity.

Bruce rolls his eyes, pulls a spare pair of trackies out of his desk drawer. He shrugs when Jason gives him a quizzical look. "I'm Batman." He says, by way of explanation.

"Great." Jason says, pulling them on quickly. His face turns dark. "Now where's Dick?" He asks. "He's a dead man."

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. He can feel another headache coming on.

#batfam #batfam fic #jason todd #spbfic #batfic #batfamily #bruce wayne #batdad #batfamily fanfic

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13phantom13angel13 · 2 years

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Tickle Monster Takedown

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A/N: This took a bit longer than anticipated, but I have created this as a request from my dear @hotshot624

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick was on a rampage. The other boys didn’t know what to do. For a week straight, Dick would randomly attack anyone and tickle them damn near to death. This included Bruce a few times, much to his dismay. They were lucky if they only got tickled twice in a day. No matter how much they tried to avoid him, he would find them, and he would tickle them.

The final straw came for Jason while they were out on patrol. Dick was driving the Batmobile, Jason in the passenger seat. He knew this was a bad idea but he didn’t really have a choice. With one hand on the steering wheel, while zipping through Gotham, his other hand was latched on to Jason’s hip. Effectively pinning the younger one against the passenger door with no means of escape, not for lack of trying.

Jason was stuck like that for ten minutes and was out of breath by the time they reached their destination. He thanked whatever god was out there that he put his helmet on when they parked; otherwise everyone on the police force would’ve gotten to see Red Hood with flushed cheeks and tear tracks on his face. How embarrassing.

That night, Jason started plotting his revenge. He would take down the resident tickle monster if it was the last thing he did.

It took two days for the opportunity to present itself. But, oh man, was it perfect timing. Dick had just got done tickling Tim to pieces, his guard down as he basked in his victory over the smaller boy. Jason could hear Tim’s screeching from across the manor. So he decided to sneak over to see if he could strike. A sly smirk spread across his lips as he watched his prey; inattentive. Gloating. Now was the time!

Jason lunged out from around the corner, tackling Dick to the floor with a battle cry. Dick let out an inhuman squeal as he was taken down. He struggled against Jason, attempting to escape.

“Jay! Jason! What the hell are you doing!?” He squawked in disbelief as Jason finally got him pinned down. Jason smirked down at him with the most evil self satisfied grin Dick had ever seen. He tightened his grip on Dick’s wrists and he further pinned them against his chest.

“I’m just getting revenge, big bro.” He wiggled the fingers of his free hand at him. Dick stared up at him in shock. How the hell did he let himself get caught like this?

He made a valiant effort to escape, but to no avail. Jason had him good. He was screwed and he knew it. So, him being the smart man he was, started begging.

“Jay, please! No! Please don’t tickle me!” He squirmed more as Jason chuckled darkly.

“Don’t tickle you? Are you for real right now? You’ve been wreaking absolute devastation in this house for a week and you expect ME to have mercy?” Jason laughed at that. “Keep dreaming, Dickiebird. I’m about to rain absolute hell on you!” Jason dug his fingers into Dick’s side.

Dick burst into bright giggles, kicking his legs out behind Jason as he struggled for freedom.

“Jahahahahay! Plehehehehehease! No tihihihihihickling!”

“I’ve punched you in the nose. Damian bit you, for the second time, I might add. Tim kicked you in the balls. Yet, you still kept coming back. It seems to me that the only way to take down the tickle monster is to give him a taste of his own medicine!” Jason’s fingers traveled lower to his hips, lightly spidering against the sensitive flesh there. Dick squirmed a little harder, his giggles growing a little louder.

“You should’ve thought about that four days ago when you started this little game. I’m not going to stop until I feel you’ve reached your limit. Then I’ll push you past that.”

“Nohohohohohoho! I’m sohohohohorry!”

“Not nearly sorry enough.” Jason chose that moment to launch an attack on Dick’s thighs. To say Dick screamed would be an understatement. Dick screeched so loud, he could be heard halfway down the driveway leading to Wayne Manor. How do we know? Alfred apparently heard him on his way back from the store.

Dick thrashed as hard as he could; kicking, screaming, everything in his power to dislodge his mischievous younger brother. But Jason held strong. He didn’t budge no matter what Dick did.

“JAHAHAHAHAHAY!!!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!! I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Dick quickly devolved into loud hysterical cackles. He was incoherent thirty seconds in. Jason grinned evilly as he continued to tickle the living hell out of his older brother.

A few moments later, hiccups started punching through Dick’s hysterics as he attempted to plead for mercy. Jason quirked a brow.

“I’m sorry. I can’t understand you when you’re laughing so hard. Repeat that.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAVE MERCY!!! JAHAHAHAYI BEHEHEHEHEHEG YOU!!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!! I’M SOHOHOHOHOHORRY!!!”

“Hm…I don’t know, dude. I’m not sure you paid enough for your transgressions. I’ll make you a deal though.” Jason paused his ministrations to make sure Dick would be able to hear him.

Dick gulped down air desperately as he looked up at him. Jason could see the beginnings of tears glistening in his eyes. He chuckled softly.

“You hold out for two more minutes, AND promise to not tickle us for the rest of the month, I’ll let you off the hook.” Another wicked smirk graced his lips.

“W-Whahahat’s the catch?” Dick giggled out. Jason’s grin grew so big it could rival Joker’s grin. (Too soon?)

“The catch is, you have to last two minutes while I tickle you here.” His hand moved from the top of his thigh to the back. Dick’s eyes widened so much, Jason thought they would pop out of his head.

“What!? You know I can’t stand it when I’m tickled there!”

“That sounds like a you problem. Now, you gonna take the deal or chicken out?”

Dick bit his lip as he thought at a rapid fire pace. He could do this. It was only two minutes, right? Yeah, but two minutes feels like forever when you’re being tickled. Especially on a spot you can’t handle. Dick closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

“Deal…”

“Good man.” Jason patted his leg. And that’s when he released the chaos. Without warning, Jason started squeezing the back of Dick’s thigh. Dick was lost instantly. He screamed so loud he knew he was going to lose his voice afterwards. He tried to flatten his leg to prevent the tickling, but it didn’t stop. In a matter of seconds, Dick’s cheeks turned an alarming shade of red as tears streamed down his cheeks. His back arched up off the floor as desperate cackles were ripped out of him.

Jason was surprised he was doing so well. He wanted to be a bit more evil, so he released Dick’s trapped wrists and launched a full scale tickle attack on the back of his thighs. That did him in. With one final scream, Dick arched up so much Jason thought he would snap his spine until he slammed back down against the floor. His laughter fell silent and he tapped Jason’s left thigh as a sign of surrender.

Jason immediately came to a halt, watching as his older brother sucked in some much needed oxygen.

“Wow. I’m impressed, Dick. You lasted longer than two minutes.”

Dick gave him a thumbs up as he rode out the last waves of giggles, his face slowly returning back to its normal color.

“Ihihihi guess I deseheheherved thahahat.” Dick took in another deep breath and slowly released it. “So…I can’t tickle you guys for a month?”

Jason stood up off of him dusting his hands off as he looked down at his brother.

“Nah. No tickling for a month. Or else.” Jason extended his hand to help him up. The look of danger in Jason’s eyes let Dick know he was serious. A thinly veiled threat like that from Red Hood was not to be taken lightly.

“Ok. A deal’s a deal.” He took Jason’s hand as he was hauled back to his feet.

“Glad we came to an understanding. Otherwise, I’m not afraid to enlist the other two in another tickle monster takedown.”

Dick shuddered at that thought.

“Point taken. Now let’s go get a snack. I can smell Alfred making cookies.”

Jason chuckled as he followed him into the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry this took so long, Hotshot! I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

#batboys #jason todd #dick grayson #ticklish dick grayson #ticklish tim drake #ticklish damian wayne #ticklish jason todd #ticklish bruce Wayne #tickle fic #batboys tickle fic #batboys tickled

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cargofear · 18 days

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I was on call with my online friends playing Roblox and stuff for a few hours again

I’m having a lot of mood swings tonight bro (well, technically today since it’s like 03:00, LOL)

I just wish someone I know in real life would actually care about my health.. It’s like no one listens or cares..

I’m having a hard time accepting I’ll probably never get help.. Mental illness is real. My anger is horrible, I get angry at the smallest things and I STAY angry, for a LONG TIME. I have punched my walls multiple times out of anger. I just need someone to help me yet I have no one..

“And I know no one will save me”

My mind is actually so fucked up. And I can’t take it anymore!! I repeat everything because no one cares apparently!

“My brain has claimed its glory over me”

03:16 — I think I’m going to go to bed now

—

≈17:00 — When I die, if you guys say some stupid ass shit like “he wants to be eric/andre/x/etc so bad” like you guys are saying about Damian Haglund I swear I will find a way to come back and haunt you if I can bro 💀💀

I’m not trying to be like Eric. I just relate to him, when you relate to someone you’re obviously going to have things in common! My current picture is Eric because I can relate to him! I would’ve still had these feelings even if I wasn’t part of the T.C.C., and I’ve been making stuff like this even before I was part of it. There are notes on my Galaxy J3V from 2019 talking about my feelings and stuff, I was 9-10 in 2019. Although I wasn’t homicidal until 2020, but still the things I wrote about in 2019 was still about my other problems, like suicide, bullying, trauma, and stress.

“You're just a little bit too much like me”

I write here publicly because I want people to realize that I’m not joking. I’m seriously ill and get worse by the day, and I feel the need to tell you guys..

Also you guys need to leave Damian Haglund alone.. I’m a proud Damian defender.

I played Roblox with my online friends again, also Skumpz turned us into Papa Louie characters, and made the picture the GC picture, I’m the dead one LOL! Click here to see the pic

I can’t wait to get my haircut, my hair currently is so bad..

I think I really hurt myself trying to make my friend laugh, I can do this stupid voice where if I inhale it sounds funny but it uses a lot of air and I was doing it for a LONG time and now it’s hard to breathe.. I feel really funny right now and that’s making me scared

Me, Mist, and Mitch played Minecraft together today

I feel kinda lightheaded right now and have a slight headache..

My leg is twitching too..

I got super mad because this bitch who dosen’t even draw came into MY comments telling me to quit?! Like FUCK YOU!! I HATE YOU! Then she had the nerve to say “get out of my comments you’re 14” LIKE BITCH, YOU CAME INTO MINE FIRST! I actually want to kill her LOL

“You’re so open about your life” It’s almost like I’ve been diagnosed with autism since I was like 8, and guess what; a lot of autistic people struggle with oversharing!

I’m rewatching Zero Day right now

G is getting me into LimpBizkit.. Holy shit theyre so good!!

I punched the walls again, I am an extremely angry person. Not a day goes by where I’m not angry at least once, don’t think about brutally killing people, or don’t think about how much I hate people.

Every day I get worse with my homicidal urges, hate and anger.

“Fumbling slowly down this path

In hopes the other's struck by lightning”

I’m fucked up. “You need serious help!” Tell me something I don’t know, bitch. I know I am ill. I desire help. I feel like people who say that don’t truly care about mental health, they just like to piss people off.

“Fathers of fathers, I know that I'm vile”

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casliveblog · 7 months

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Custom Toonami Block Week 155 Rundown

Spy X Family: We’re still kinda doing the fallout of the Fiona arc where Yor’s insecure and Loid’s trying frantically to make sure his apprentice being horny doesn’t threaten world peace, you know, normal stuff. Scruffyhead is left to babysit Anya while Loid and Yor go out for drinks and it’s pretty fucking funny because you have Yor being drunk off her ass not making a god damn lick of sense and Loid being overly logical trying to map out exactly how her drunk train of logic works when said train flipped off the track like an hour ago. Loid’s flirting ends up getting him knocked the fuck out and he dreams about his mom and conflates her with Yor which I’m sure is healthy and not Freudian at all. But eventually for like the third time we get Loid’s speech of ‘Anya and I both love you and you’re a great mom so please stop being so fucking insecure about this’ which to be fair IS accurate to how insecurity works but I feel like we’re doing the Inuyasha/Kikyo thing all over again where whenever something daunting comes up we’re gonna spend an episode moping before deciding to stop moping for the same reason as last time. Either way the date itself is funny and it’s worth it to watch Anya be like ‘oh yeah they’re out there fucking’ without understanding what she’s saying. The second plot revolves around Becky which is nice because I really do like her as a character and we get some backstory on her aside from her being a badass and wanting to fuck Anya’s dad. But yeah Becky wants to be a matchmaker for Anya and Damian so they decide to go shopping and get her a cool outfit to impress him and hijinks ensue and lots of outfits for the fanartists to do art of are revealed (I think my favorite is Yor!Becky, that was fun). Becky apparently has your standard dot jpg rich girl backstory of not having any friends and being isolated but Anya’s brash nature kinda broke through a lot of that (they also show her beating up bullies and I’m just guessing when she saw Anya punch Damian she was like ‘oh yeah I can hang with her’). But yeah despite Anya not finding anything she does buy a souvenir keychain for herself and Becky to thank her for taking her out shopping and even though it’s not rich fancy people shit like she’s supposed to do, they both wear their keychains to school and laugh about how they match, which as a nice touch does catch Damian’s attention because the most stunning thing Anya could wear as a genuine smile.

Inuyasha: So as expected, now that all the real fighting is done, Naraku swoops in to be like ‘now this is a victory I have completely earned despite just arriving’. Inuyasha goes through his laundry list of attacks and Naraku’s able to just go ‘nope’ to all of them, even the ones that are specifically made to counter his no-selling which kinda makes the Red Tessaiga useless now. He impales Inuyasha on Hosenki and grabs the jewel shard to taunt everyone that they’ll be staying in Inuyasha’s dad’s grave forever while he’s gonna get the hell out of dodge by himself (a bitter bit of foreshadowing for Yashahime, yes I’m stil mad). Meanwhile Kagura shows Sesshomaru the other gate and once he shows off the Tenseiga the statues are like ‘oh shit bro he’s got the sword, guess we better roll over’ and even the Medusa Light doesn’t work on Sesshomaru for no adequately explained reason but Sesshomaru just kinda no-sells like 80% of things, he has high Mag Resist I guess. So yeah while Naraku’s gloating Sesshomaru swoops in and starts kicking his ass and even punches out Inuyasha for fucking up for this long. But while Naraku and Sesshomaru are having their smug-off to see who can no-sell more of the other person’s bullshit, Hosenki talks to Inuyasha and asks him to cut him open and take his power.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Kurama continues his journey of being blackmailed into working for a Demon Dictatorship while everyone there hates his guts. Kurama’s plan is to beef up the guys they fought in the Dark Tournament with the promise of fighting Yusuke and give them to Yomi as a present, the old ‘throw everyone who died in the Saiyan Saga on King Kai’s planet for training’ deal so Chu, Yoyo kid, Shishi, Gin and the other ninja guy and clownface all get a training arc courtesy of Genkai just like the King Kai arc (though idk those guys never learned Kaioken or anything so I think they just got a numbers buff) speaking of numbers buffs, apparently Yomi’s kingdom has Scouter technology and that works about as well as Scouter tech always works and just throws random numbers out until they’re ready to show their real power. The red fish general guy wants to kill Kurama’s stepbrother we haven’t heard about till now but is apparently very important but Kurama reminds the parasite assassin of the whole Elder Toguro purgatory plant deal and he decides he’s better off not pissing this guy off. So when Kurama’s promoted and fish guy is mad, he has no leverage and Kurama can Yoko out and fucking murder him without consequence. Turns out Yomi planned all this out and is hoping Kurama will turn to the dark side and be Yoko forever and also having a new callback squad is pretty cool too, let’s hope they get to do some shit.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Yuji and Nobara continue their fight against the Jojo Cheap Trick guy from last time and his younger brother. They get hit with blood that basically acts like a slower version Soifon’s Shikai complete with the cool tattoo aesthetic. Luckily Nobara’s ability is basically ‘no u’ and she reflects it back on them and goes to kill the younger brother so Mr. Cheap Trick has to release it because these guys are one of the few cursed spirits that actually have familial loyalty to each other. Apparently their deal is they’re actually aborted fetuses of a woman that was able to have hybrid babies with cursed spirits and humans so they’re like half and half that were just fetuses until now and used as the new flunkies of Mahito’s group. Given they’re legit fetuses who have existed for hundreds of years without anything to rely on but each other their first thoughts one being born are ‘we look out for each other and nothing else’. So yeah this is basically a story of the heroes blackmailing and torturing babies to win a fight so that’s a bit fucked up. But yeah Nobara and Yuji BOTH use a Black Flash and cripple their respective brothers and Nobara uses Cursed Technique: Bigger Nail to finish off the baby one and it’s really cool. Meanwhile Cheap Trick takes some guys hostage and runs away which really is kind of a Jojo villain thing to do maybe this guy was just in the wrong anime and Yuji just runs after the car like Yusuke during Chapter Black but Nobara still has the guy’s arm from before so she just straight up kills him with her basic attack. So Nobara gets the kill on both of these guys so that’s pretty neat. Meanwhile Mahito, monk dude and the eldest brother are all fucking playing Life and eldest brother is like ‘oh geez my brothers just died, gimme a minute’ and Mahito’s like ‘is that really a reason to interrupt our board game geez’. Yuji asks Nobara about how she feels about killing dudes that were kinda technically part human since he’s already done it and still doesn’t feel great about it but Nobara’s a tiny bit of a sociopath so she doesn’t care but promises if they have to do dirty shit to get their job done at least they’re in it together. They get back to Megumi and Yuji’s hand vagina mouth accidentally eats the finger so yeah he’s got more fingers now. All three kids and Panda’s Squad are recommended for a promotion and Megumi tells Nobara not to tell Yuji about Sukuna’s awakening reviving the finger holding spirits because it’ll make him feel bad and Yuji tells Sukuna not to tell Megumi about his awakening reviving the finger holding spirits because it’ll make him feel bad. So yeah that’s the end of season one, I think the Zero Movie is next? Maybe I’ll do that next week since a handful of the season ones of these anime are ending this week.

Ranking of Kings: Is this season all going to be filler? Like it’s really weird after last week had them continue the story despite having a great ending point and then just… tread water this season with filler like it’s not even a ‘filler to get you into the plot and ease the transition of progressing the story’ filler, it’s ‘here’s a thing that happened during one of our few time gaps’ filler. I mean the two stories they tell during Bojji’s training are cute enough, Kage goes searching for a mushroom and ends up helping an old lady who gives him a pie full of the mushrooms and Bojji and kage try odd jobs only to end up running a gambling game using Bojji’s speed and feel bad about ripping off a poor girl but Despa takes her in anyway. Like those are cute stories but if this is a season that’s just gonna be little ovas of stuff that was already in the story I don’t know if I really see the point in it. I mean I’m gonna keep watching and give it a chance but it’s gonna be weird if we’re just treading water for ten episodes.

Vinland Saga: So I kinda hit the nail on the head with my predictions last week huh? Like basically my whole scenario came to pass essentially word for word. Still I’ll go through it all here, Askeladd tries to talk King Sweyn down from attacking Wales and he humors the idea in public but privately tells him that the only way he’ll stop the attack on Wales is if Askeladd kills Canute for him since Wales is shitty and all his homies hate Wales and Askeladd’s mom sucks, which is really something you want to say to somebody you’re asking a favor from. Askeladd just goes nuts at this and points his sword at the King and fucking cuts his head right off going ‘Yeah bitch I’m King Arthur, Noble Phantasm Excalibur, British and all that innit?’. Thorfinn is with Leif but ditches him to go find Askeladd again while the dude is fucking cutting his way through the Danish Royal Guard and/or family. Canute sees this for what it is, a sacrifice play to keep both Canute and Wales safe while not drawing out the conflict between Canute and the king. Thorkell tells him for once that he doesn’t need a battle boner and that since Askeladd is his problem he should act like a king and take care of it. Thorfinn busts in at the last minute before Askeladd can kill Floki (couldn’t have just let him kill Floki? I fucking hate Floki) and Canute stabs Askeladd right in the heart on his first try, not bad for Mr. Love Thy Enemy. Thorfinn is here just in time to hold Askeladd in his arms as he dies and Askeladd laughs and asks what Thorfinn will do with his life now that he no longer has him as an excuse for his vengeance and Thorfinn’s just left with the empty rage and hollow emotions of wasting over a decade only to have it end the exact same way it would’ve if he’d just stabbed Askeladd in his bed the first night. So yeah Canute takes the throne and is like ‘okay the Enlgish are prolly gonna be pissy about all that shit that went down so all further wars are suspended until we get them under control’ and they literally have to drag Thorfinn out who’s still kind of deciding whether he’s mad his father figure died or mad he didn’t get to kill himself as we pan over people that have been relevant and will be relevant to the next season as Thorfinn’s left with nothing and has to decide what his life means to him now.

So yeah, next week I'll probably watch the Jujutsu Kaisen movie to prepare for season two and the week after that I'll be ready to start new seasons in Vinland Saga and Jujutsu Kasien with Spy X Family's season 1 finale and maybe that new Scott Pilgrim show if I can swing it, looks like we're in the second half of what I called the 'fuck it' block about four months ago, so let's see what the new stuff holds.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Spy X Family #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Jujutsu Kaisen #Ranking of Kings #Vinland Saga

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donotalwaysbebatman · 1 year

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Adventures of Superman: Jon Kent #4

First of all. Why is Cyborg just standing there doing nothing? Does not pass the lamp test. Why? (We know why.)

But then Jon-el follows Lex over to the Batbunker, and, like, what, he can just do that? They have no security? Their number one concern on the planet is being caught by Superman and they didn’t so much as check a camera before letting a Kryptonian right in? Because Jon-el has way fewer powers than Kal, and he doesn’t even look like he’s trying to be subtle, honestly.

Also, why is Harley so weirdly out of character? She’s so flat, like someone was trying hard to write a boring-ass manic pixie dream girl and failed at that because he’s never talked to a woman in his life. Also. The fucking art. Why is she dressed like a porn parody? And why does her face look Like That?

Then! Jon-el is like. Ah-ha! Lex Luthor is evil! He’s trying to stop Superman! As if Jon-el didn’t have a whole “emotional” revelation last issue where he realized Superman was evil??? We literally already established that??? He’s been looking for a way to stop Superman! So why the hell is he trying to get mad at people who also want to stop Superman? Especially since! If Superman is Evil then Lex is probably Good, stands to reason!

(Ugh, Harley is being obnoxious again. Fuck, people, she’s not an idiot, she has a PhD and/or MD in literally how the fuck people work. She’s a genius. And they’ve literally been talking about another universe’s Superman. Fuck’s sake.)

Then he’s like “oh hoo hoo do you think you could stop me” um, yes. An entire team of superheroes against an idiot baby who refuses to train and can’t even punch good? With only half the powers of Good Superman, who’s a lot less powerful than Evil Superman? Yes. They could beat you easily you whiny little World’s Specialist Boy.

But also, even if they couldn’t? Why would he say this? This is so out of character for Jon-el, who is not generally just a smug douchebag? He wasn’t as a kid. Why would he be now that he’s had the trauma of being held completely powerless? Makes no sense. This is such an edgelord comment that some reddit bro who thinks he’s cool would say for no reason.

Another thing to note is that, while there are technically women here, they just stand there and do nothing. They could literally be removed from the story without replacing them with anything, and you probably wouldn’t even notice. Not even just to think, hmm, was there something here before?

Also. Why is Jon-el so mad at Batman? Literally not established, also a weird thing to say about him. Batman is not really known (in canon or in meta) as being a particularly judgemental hero? And the only person he’s really been particularly ‘shoot first ask questions later’ towards at any point in Rebirth is Jason, who Jon-el has no reason to care about? Or even have talked to at any point; it would actually be weird to find out they’d interacted at all. You could argue he’s standing up for Damian, which I think the story is trying to set up, except that Bruce doesn’t really do that to Damian? And insofar as he does, Damian would never complain about it to Jon, both because there’s become a distance between them too large for personal conversations, and because he wouldn’t air family business even to his best friend.

Also, giving Jon-el some kind of bizarre Mary Sue power is just stupid. He’s already Superman. Making him more powerful is only going to cut off avenues of narrative. He should be a character who feels like he can never live up to his dad simply because he’s less powerful, and it should be used as the metaphor it’s meant to be: alienation from both culture of origin and culture of habitation, as a second generation immigrant.

Now Babs is like ‘omg who is this guy who knows my secret name!!!’ as if a) Superman doesn’t already know her secret identity, and b) they weren’t just talking about alternate fucking universes. And then he describes her as if her only importance is her fucking heteronormative romantic potential! That’s why he trusts her! Because he’s relegated her to a love interest and nothing else! My god, dude, this is an alternate universe where you can’t even trust your own father, and you trust someone you’ve barely met in your own universe because she’s hot to some dude who taught you to punch real good???

(And, while I love Haly, this writer tooting his own horn is objectively annoying.)

And what is his specific problem with Batman? It doesn’t make sense!

Now Alfred is out of character as hell, too, all some personality-less English stereotype. He loves tea! He hates fighting and sass! What the hell. Why have you replaced Alfred with a robot.

Also, the whole, “haha whoops, I didn’t think of that” is just... not Lex’s character? I know I have a particular vision of Lex, but even in the strictest canon, the things that remain consistent: he’s a genius, and he apologizes to no one. Of course it’s thought through how it looks. And why doesn’t he talk in a charming way? That’s his whole personality!

And, again, he’s horrified they’d make him fight his father. Even though that’s what it established last issue that he has to do. And he’s been looking for a way to do it. That makes no sense! It’s introducing conflict for the sake of conflict, not to move the story along! What, did they tell him he didn’t have enough pages or something, he just made up a whole issue that says nothing? And he just trusts things he find out from people he’s already learned he can’t trust. Like, he still believes them, even though he’s already figured out those people are fascist dictators who kill people to keep the world “safe”.

And, like, Alfred, sure, I can buy that Jon-el trusts Alfred, he would’ve interacted with him for a while before he got trapped in a cave, but, again, why does he trust Babs? And definitely why does he trust either of them in an alternate universe that already demonstrated he can’t trust people just because he knows them on his own world.

Then Damian. Why is he. So weird. Why is he talking like that and why does he look like that and what the hell is he wearing. He’s somehow completely out of character while also replaceable by a fucking lamp. And if anyone should be the person that Jon-el trusts completely and would do whatever he said, it’s Damian, so why wouldn’t he just take Damian’s word for whatever’s going on? And since Damian clearly trusts Superman, and Superman clearly likes Jon-el... I don’t know, it all just feels, again, random for the sake of added conflict without actually telling a story.

Now Jay is the absolute worst part. And I say this as someone who reads only for Jay. Because in a world where Superman is evil and everyone is constantly terrified of him, even from just seeing the symbol... why would Jay just happily let one of those in? Why would he then spill his secrets or tell the actual truth about how he feels about the government? Do you think gay people think with their dicks at risk to their lives, livelihoods, and families, Tom???

Plus. It actually would’ve been an amazing character/relationship building moment, if we’d gotten to see Jon establishing that Jay could trust him. Little details he’s learned about how Jay likes his coffee, or his fondest childhood memory. Things that would establish an intimacy between them, the idea that they know and care for each other. Instead of just skipping over everything interesting to talk about Superman again, who we already know is evil. And then he’s flirting? Again. Terrifying godlike agent of a fascist government.

And why is Jay drawn like he’s twelve?

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baby-bels · 2 years

Text

Smart Dreams.

@prettybitchfatwitch @deja-vux

Warning ⚠ Read part one pleassee. Angst cause Dick caught yo ass slippin. Bruce also heard y'all smh. Nsfw, 18+, Daddy kink, horrible titling. ALSO FEMALE READER. STEP BRO JASON

-----

"Please."

You looked up at his face, beads of sweat rolling down his chin and forehead as he was pleading with his eyes. "Yeah, Jay, fuck me." Jason sucked in a breath, removing his jacket and throwing it somewhere he had already forgotten. He sure took his time undressing himself but after he got into all of his naked glory and you, he moved you into the position he wanted the most, missionary.

He pushed your legs up to your knees|if you're not flexible: He pulls your legs up by either side of his hips and enters that way!| Spreading your pussy with his middle and index finger, he grasps his cock with his other hand, rubbing the tip at your hole.

"Are you really okay with this? What about Dick? And I'm your brother."

"I don't care.. You're not my biological brother anyway.."

He hesitated for a moment, before slowly pushing into you, a groan emitting from him. You pursed your lips, eyes shutting quickly. He was much thicker than Dick. Jason pressed his lips on yours to ease any discomfort.

He waited a few minutes before he began moving. He grunted into your mouth, speeding up his pace.

"You like Daddy's big cock baby girl? Much be better than my brother's."

You whimpered in response. "I love daddy's cock!" He inhaled sharply, speeding up his pace, he locked his lips on your neck, marking you for his, he grunted again. Your pussy tightening around his thick cock, you began moaning louder, before your heads both snapped to the door, seeing Dick.

Oh fuck.

"Are you fucking serious?! My brother, Y/N? Why the fuck are you even on her right now Jason?! I trusted you!"

"Before she fell in love with you she loved me, Dick."

"Dick please."

"No, I'm done listening, I should've known..This.. All of this. Is unacceptable."

He stomped out, slamming the door behind him. Jason lowered his head next to yours, whispering in your ear. "I'm so sorry..I shouldn't have.. I shouldn't have done this" His voice cracked. "I knew this was a bad idea and here I am, fucking doing it. I dissapointed everyone.." His head went down a bit lower. "I'm a horrible person." You stayed silent, gripping onto him.

"Jason."

"Yeah?"

"Never. Say those things about yourself ever again. I wouldn't care if you fucking killed Bruce. I'd still be here for you, because I care."

"But."

"Keep fucking me."

"But-- Dick--"

"Fuck me like you love me, Jason."

Jason wasted no time, and started pounding into you again, his hand gripping behind your back and pulling you up into him, your breasts pushing into his well built chest. You pushed your pussy up on his cock, making you both moan out. "Fuck, Jay!" He let out a whimper, signalising he was close.

"Fuckfuck, Y/N, I love you."

Tears streamed down your cheeks, not from pain, or pleasure but from overhwhelming emotions. Jason realized and kissed away your tears.

"I love you too, Jason!"

Jason grunted, and pushed deep inside of you, his warm seed painting your insides white.

-----

Fuck, dinner time. Jason must've slept in your room, because you woke up next to him. You both got dressed cracking small jokes down the steps, shutting up as you both entered the dining room, shuffling to your seats, Dick wasn't there nor Barb for that fact so you both just sat next to each other. Like teenagers she have just fallen in love you held hands beneath the table. Damian sighed deeply. "Father, Jason and Y/N are being exceptionally weird." "Shut up, twerp." Jason snickered. "Yeah! You wouldn't know love if it punched you in the mouth." You added.

Bruce also sighed, Tim relaxing as he sipped his coffee, Stephanie letting out a giggle, and Cass just being shocked that everyone is fine with you cheating.

"Y/N."

"Yes, Bruce?"

"I am fine with your affair with Todd. But please, I am begging you.. Wear protection and be quiet.. Please tone it down."

You turned red and Jason just laughed, hugging you and kissing your temple.

"Me and my Princess? We're gonna live happily ever after."

---

Did you like it? 👉👈 it's a bit shorter which I'm sorry for, but I hope you enjoy ✨ pt 2 the climax.

#smut #x reader #jason todd smut #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader

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fishfingersandjellybabies · 2 years

Text

Wash Your Mouth Out - fic

Characters: Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, literally everyone and also Clark. Summary: Tim shows his worry in a different way than most. A/N: This started as a Tim and Damian bro fic and then spiraled into just fambam times. I’d give more of a note but I ate too much for dinner and made myself sick so. oh well

The situation was enormous, but not surprising. Typical bad guys trying typical crimes and being stopped by the typical heroes.

Today’s team-up was Superman and the Bats. From there, they’d split into smaller groups, with an open comm. line between them all. So far the line had been quiet, sans the sounds of punches and kicks, the event mostly contained.

Until right now.

They’d been gathering on a roof to share info and take a break. Bruce first, then Clark from above. Cassandra silently from the shadows, Duke and Stephanie loudly from one rooftop over. Dick had just crawled over the roof’s ledge and was stretching his arms above his head with a yawn.

Then an explosion boomed across their communicators.

All of them jerked in surprise and a few grabbed at their communicators to control the echoing rumbles. Bruce, of course, recovered the fastest, pressing his finger to his ear.

“Report!” He shouted. “Report, now! What happened? What was that?”

The line blipped and static cut in and out. They could hear the crackle of fire and things falling. There was a silent panic throughout the group – because the noises were coming from multiple connections.

“Report!” Bruce shouted again. “Now!”

Still, nothing. Cass pointed across the sky to where smoke was rising and immediately began to move across the roof towards it.

“Who was in the explosion?” Bruce demanded. “One of you, answer me right no-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

Everyone flinched again at the sound.

“…Tim?” Dick tried gently, confusion washing over his face. “Tim, what’s going on? Can you hear m-”

“You promised!” Tim continued yelling, anger bursting from every word, the sound of concrete and drywall moving in the background. “You fucking promised me, you little piece of shit!”

“Red Robin, report.” Bruce ordered once more, quieter now. Somewhat relieved. “What’s happening?”

“Damian, I swear to fucking god-”

“Where’s Robin? What’s going on?” Bruce continued to push. Stephanie raised her arm to look at her gauntlet computer. Dick looked up at Clark in worry, and Clark rose a little higher, turning towards the smoke. “Tim-”

Another crackle of static on the line, then, “Will you calm down, Red Robin? I’m fine.”

“Not when I’m fucking done with you.” Tim snapped back with a grunt. “You fucking scared me. Now get the fuck over here.”

“In a second, I want to grab-”

“Get fucking over here, Damian, or I swear to fucking god.”

Bruce sighed, even as Clark returned to the roof with a little smile. “Boys, can you-”

“Are you hurt? You’re fucking hurt, aren’t you?” Tim continued rambling. Cassandra tilted her head curiously, and Stephanie rolled her eyes.

“…Wow.” Duke offered. “I…I don’t think I’ve ever heard him cuss this much.”

“I…didn’t really think he did?” Dick admitted, face scrunched in bewilderment. “At least, not to…this extreme, I guess.” He shrugged, muttering, “Tim’s always been the good kid like that.”

“Well last I checked, good kids don’t cuss at children.” Stephanie snapped. “Tim, can you hear us?!”

“Whose fucking blood is that, Damian? Hm?” Tim scolded.

“No one’s!” Damian shouted back, clearly annoyed. “Now quit looking at me and let’s-”

“You’re fucking hurt and you’re fucking bleeding after you promised me-”

“I didn’t break my promise!”

“-you wouldn’t go and get yourself killed again!”

“And I’m not dead, am I? Jeez, Drake let’s get…unh.” Damian’s words were followed by an awkwardly inhaled breath.

“Oh yeah, no fucking injuries, not a fucking problem.” Tim drawled sarcastically. Another groan from Damian. “Nope. Not fucking doing this, kid. Come on.”

“Do not pick me up. I don’t need you to-”

There was the sound of movement, more painful grunting.

“You little fucking bum, what did I fucking tell you about wandering off? Especially in this fucking building?”

“This would be making even Lois blush.” Clark murmured. Bruce glared up at him.

“Red Robin. Report. Now.” Bruce ordered darkly. Tim didn’t respond to him.

“I don’t think he can hear us.” Duke offered. “He probably doesn’t know his mic is working.”

“Either of them.” Cassandra added, but then she frowned. “Damian’s breathing…bad?”

“Well, it sounds like Tim is carrying him, so hopefully that’ll help.” Stephanie tried to soothe. “He’ll be fine, Tim will make sure of it.”

Dick smiled softly, but at the same moment Bruce frowned, cowl lenses narrowing. “Not to sound…ungrateful that he’s clearly helping his brother, but since when has Red Robin worried so much for Robin?”

Stephanie stared deadpan at him. “Since like, always, B.”

Clark glanced down, eyebrow raised in judgment. “Even I know that.”

“I mean,” Bruce drawled. “So…openly?”

Duke shrugged. “More…recently? Like, last year or two?”

“Since your amnesia episode, Batman.” Stephanie clarified. “And then piled on during Dick’s, too.”

The two elder Bats sheepishly lowered their gazes, but if any sort of excuse or apology was going to come, they were cut off.

“Un-fucking-believable, Damian.” Tim huffed. “I can feel the goddamn dislocation in your knee. Did you really think you were going to fucking walk out of here without us noticing?”

“Will you just shut up?” Damian whined. “God, you’re starting to sound like Todd.”

And that reminded the rooftop crew. Dick perked again, face falling. “Jason was teamed up with them. If they were in the explosion, then the Red Hood must have-”

“Right now, I’m ignoring that shitty attempt at an insult.” Tim drawled. “And don’t you worry, he’s in fucking trouble too. As soon as we find him.”

“…I hear three heartbeats.” Clark offered. “So if he’s still in there, he’s alive too.”

“We need to get over there.” Dick stepped forward. “If Damian’s hurt as bad as Tim says, I’m sure he’s not much better off. They’re all going to need help.”

Suddenly, the awkward noises of movement, the crackling of debris underfoot, and then loudly:

“Hey, asshole!”

Stephanie snorted a laugh at the same moment Damian’s defeated sigh floated over the line.

“…You didn’t have to yell at him.” Damian mumbled under the sound of Tim stepping into a jog. “He’s just down the hall.”

“Who are you calling an asshole, shithead?” Jason countered. He immediately fell into a fit of coughing.

“Fucking great.” Tim spat. “You two are fucking useless.”

“At least we attempted to stop the bomb, unlike you.” Damian countered. Jason’s coughing got louder as the two younger approached.

“…Let’s move.” Bruce grumbled. “It sounds like they’re all relatively alright, but if not, Superman, you take whoever’s injuries are the worst and fly them straight to Penny-One. Otherwise, Nightwing, you take Robin, Spoiler, you handle Red Robin, and Black Bat and Signal, you take Red Hood.”

Everyone nodded and took off towards the crumbling building.

“Sorry I wanted to save our own asses rather than just chill out in a fucking building about to fucking explode.” Tim countered. “Because you know what? Fuck property damage. I don’t give a fuck. There I said it.”

“Oooooh, Red’s fucking mad.” Jason said weakly, voice hoarse from his coughs. “What’d you do, Rob?”

“Tried to fucking get himself killed again, that’s fucking what.” Tim answered for him. “You’re on some thin fucking ice yourself, Red Hood.”

“I’m peachy.” Jason sniffed. “Robin, why’s there so much blood on your tunic? Whose is it?”

“Nobody’s!” Damian repeated incredulously.

“God, you are the worst liar, dude.”

“That’s what I fucking said!” Tim agreed. Dick found himself chuckling at the exchange.

“Well…what about that then, Drake?” Damian pushed. “Look at the blood on his trousers!”

“No one likes a fucking tattletale, Damian.” Tim countered, but his voice was almost fond. “But I saw it already, thanks. Impaled I assume, Hood?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jason huffed.

“And that’s what I said.” Damian hummed proudly. At least three of the listening Bats rolled their eyes.

“Got trapped in one of the labs. Explosion dislodged all of their equipment and beakers and shit. My leg got in the way, I guess.” Jason gave out a light groan. “No big deal, though.”

“No big deal.” Tim scoffed. “Yeah, no big deal my fucking ass.” Another sound of fabric moving. “Damian, I’m going to need my hands to hold up Jason. If you let go of my neck for even a second I swear to fucking god I’m gonna…like, fucking haunt you the rest of your life.”

“But-”

“Rest. Of. Your. Fucking. Life.” Tim repeated. Damian didn’t make another sound. There was another moment of movement, then a loud sigh from Jason, but from Tim’s mic.

“…No one likes a bully, Tim.” Jason grumbled.

“I’m not here for you to like me.” He hummed. “I’m here to make sure you two stay fucking alive. Now, which way do you think the exit is?”

Their chatter fell into directions and suggestions, then. Damian didn’t say much, but Dick caught the telltale noises of a sleepy sigh or two.

As the building came into view, Clark called, “Eastern side.”

They dropped to the ground like a swarm. Bruce hit the asphalt first, and barely caught himself before barreling forward towards a shattered and blocked door.

“How close to the door?” He called up to Clark.

“About two hallways.” Clark squinted. “And…going the wrong way.”

Duke snorted as Bruce threw a few small explosives forward. When they began to pop off, there was a crackle from the communicator line, followed by:

“What the fuck. What the actual fuck. I don’t have fucking time-!”

“God, he’s like a friggen sailor today.” Stephanie drawled. She glanced to Cassandra. “Don’t let him influence you, or I’ll kill him.”

Cass giggled.

“Guys, it’s us!” Dick called, stepping to the side as Clark began lifting some of the heavier debris away. “Follow my voice!”

And at the same time:

“Thank god.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“I heard that, Hood!” Dick yelled. “Your mics are still working!”

“And have been this whole time, you potty mouth!” Stephanie added loudly. Bruce couldn’t help but look to the heavens. These kids.

A pause, and then quietly from Tim, “Alfred’s going to kill me.”

But before anyone could continue to rib him, an even softer, slurred voice, “Grrrrayson? Brow’?”

“Shit. He’s crashing.” Jason said sternly.

“I knew he was fucked up. Come on.” Tim said stoically. “Do we need to stay this pace or can you walk any faster?”

Jason grunted. “I can manage.”

At that moment, Bruce and Clark got through the blockade, and Clark ripped the doors from their hinges.

“Stay where you are!” Bruce shouted. “We’re here, we’re coming.”

Dick and Cassandra were already running as he spoke, and sprinted around the corner as fast as they could. Almost instantly, they ran into their brothers.

Their hearts sank. All three of them definitely looked worse than they sounded. All three were covered in dust and dirt. Jason’s pant leg was soaked through, the leg itself almost deadweight. He was leaning heavily into Tim’s side, who had blood pouring down his face, bruises peeking out of holes torn in his uniform. Damian, clinging to Tim’s back, his leg smushed between Tim and Jason’s torsos, still had blood dripping from a gash on his side. It was so bad it was running down Tim’s cape as well, leaving a smeared trail of red behind them.

Cassandra grabbed Jason immediately, pulling him away from Tim and Damian just as the rest of the group turned the corner too. Duke ran up to Jason’s bad side, balancing his heavy weight between himself and Cass.

“You did good, Timmy.” Dick whispered reaching for Damian. The boy’s eyes were fluttering now, but he was still conscious enough to know what was happening, who was there. He began to shift his weight towards Dick’s hands, but jerked when Tim stepped away.

“I’ll take him.” He promised. “I’ll, uh…not that I don’t trust you, obviously, but…you know. I just want to see this through. I want to see with my own eyes that he gets the care he needs and, honestly,” A weak laugh. “I’m pretty sure the second I let him go I’m gonna collapse, so…for expediency’s sake, I’m just gonna…hang on to him.”

Dick smiled as Stephanie joined them. She looked him over, then back at Damian, and sighed. “God, you are such a weirdo, Tim.”

“…Drake?” Damian whispered.

“I got you, dude. And Dick’s here now.” Tim wrapped his arms back under Damian’s legs. Stephanie moved to be in step with him, taking hold of his arm. “Just keep hanging on, okay? We’re gonna head home.”

Dick put his own hand on Damian’s back, guiding their group forward. As they reached Bruce, he stepped in front of them, slowing them just slightly. He stared at them for a moment, eyes darting across his two youngest. Then he put his hand on Tim’s head. “…I’m proud of you.”

Tim’s eyes widened, instantly simmering with growing tears.

“Great.” Stephanie sighed. “Tell him that when he has severe blood loss and exhaustion. Way to go, B.”

“Don’t worry, Steph. We’ll make sure he tells him again when these three are on bedrest for the next month, and we’re near recording security cameras.” Dick winked, weaving them around Bruce and out towards the destroyed door. “The jet?”

“Already called and on its way.” Bruce called after him. “Penny-One has been alerted.”

Duke glanced up as they passed him with Jason. “And you?”

Bruce blinked. “Find whoever did this and beat the shit out of them.”

Cassandra smiled her agreement.

Clark sighed as he dropped his feet to the ground, standing next to Bruce as they watched the family leave.

“…Well I think I know where Tim got his colorful language from.”

Bruce just laughed.

#Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #dick grayson #Stephanie Brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #clark kent #bruce wayne

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headcans-oneshots-and-stuff · 3 years

Text

People are gay dude

Fandom: DC Pairing: Damian x male!reader Word count: 650 Summary: Damian’s brothers want to find out who Damian is dating only to be surprised Requeted by an amazing awesome Anon: May we get a Damian x Male Reader? Almost everyone in the batfam are aware that Damian is dating a person but they don't know who until one of them walk in on Damian and his s/o having a lazy movie night and they all are very accepting and approve of the surprisingly chill boyfriend (i thought of this prompt then my brain went on to say "but make it gay" so here we are)#

Damian Wayne was a rather private person, everyone who knew him was aware of that, and that privacy extended towards his relationship. In itself it was a miracle that his siblings even knew that he was in a committed relationship - admittedly he had to tell them sooner or later and decided for sooner - but that wasn’t enough for them. With their ever present curiosity, Dick, Jason and Tim made it their personal mission to invade their little brother's privacy and find out who exactly he was dating. The perfect opportunity for fulfilling their goal showed itself when Damian explicitly asked the siblings who were living with him to stay as far away from the cinema room in the manor as possible. Obviously Tim had no choice but to inform his brothers and get as close to the cinema room as he could without getting caught by Damian. In record time Dick and Jason joined him in his little hideout from where he was sitting out of sight - but also not seeing Damian - and listened to the background noise of the movie that was playing. “Have you seen them yet?” Jason asked and tried to peek through the door only to be held back by Dick. “No, they’ve stayed inside that room for an hour now, but it can’t be long until one of them has to go for little birds. That’s when we’ll strike,” Tim informed and as if he had summoned it, the noise from the movie stopped and they heard hushed voices before the door opened and you stepped outside. Now, it is to be said about the three Waynes-but-not-Waynes that were sitting there that they were all masters in their field of vigilantism. They could take out enemies in their sleep, hack into the pentagon and make a triple backflip from the top of a tree. They were all incredibly smart and capable, but alas, them being smart did not mean they could not simultaneously also be gigantic dumbasses. In this case, their dunbassiness showed when all of them found themselves staring right into your face from where they were kneeling on the floor and they couldn’t even imagine how that must look for you, walking outside of a room only to find two grown ass man and a slightly less grown man hunched together and staring up at you. “Uhm...hey,” you gave them a slight wave, dumbfoundedness written all over your face. “Habib? Who are you talking to?” Damian’s voice echoed through the hall and his three brothers made motions for you not to say anything, but - if you didn’t understand or didn’t care - you answered anyways. “I think I just met your brothers,” you shouted back with an amused smile on your lips and seconds later steps sounded and Damian appeared besides you. When he caught sight of his brothers his eyes immediately narrowed and his brows furrowed. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice full of annoyed resentment. “Oh, hey Babybird, didn’t know you were in there, we were just..uhm...chilling out here,” Dick tried to salvage the situation for obviously no avail. “Try again.” “Tim thought you had a date, sorry we didn’t mean to intrude on your bro’s night.” “You didn’t intrude on a bro’s night, you intruded on my date,” Damian sight annoyed, but calmed down a little bit when you grabbed for his hand. You couldn’t help but chuckle at Tim’s confused look and youldn’t help yourself. “People are gay dude.” For a few seconds silence filled the hall before Jason busted out laughing and gave Tim a brotherly punch on the shoulder. “Oh I like you kid, you gotta invite him over more often,” he pointed at Damian who just rolled his eyes and walked back into the cinema room, pulling you after him while you quickly waved to his brothers before closing the door.

#Damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x male!reader #male!reader #x male!reader #x reader #batfam #batfam x reader #batfam x male!reader #batfamily #batfamily x reader #dc #dc x reader #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Note

you know how dc keeps forcing this sudden "we're a family" narrative out of nowhere? I'd love batfam content but years of hurt among them make the recent content seem unearned.

bc you know more about dick and jason than the others, how do you think they would realistically become family to each other, or would it even be in character for them to be the "bros" they're written as now?

Oh anon, this question is amazing, I love it! I saw it when I woke up and since then my brain has been brewing this answer, I was thinking about it as I brushed my teeth and as I was making breakfast, and now I am ready to give you the answer, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed thinking/writing about it!

DC keeps forcing the wrong relationships, and they keep forcing the wrong centre of this supposed family, they make it out to be the Bat-Family when in reality the Bat (Bruce) should have never been invited to this party.

This is why I give you the… Dick-Family!

Oh yeah baby, I am going there. Dick is the centre of this “family”, he is the guy who is actually connected with everyone, he has been around for so long and he has been present when almost all of the remaining characters were introduced! Bruce might have come first but that guy has nothing on Dick Grayson.

Dick has cared and loved for everyone in this family in a true and beautiful way, no matter how much fanon and DC try to tell us otherwise. This man was an amazing son to Bruce and Alfred (my love for Alfred and Dick is brought to you by @hood-ex), a fantastic brother to Jason, Tim and Cass as well as a phenomenal father/older brother to Damian.

Dick Grayson is the centre of this whole thing, and thanks to DC now being an Omniverse I will be able to explain my line of thoughts. But first let me clear some ideas up.

The way I see it Jason would only get along good enough with Dick. I am not here for Jason and Tim having brunch together (honestly, Lobdell, what were you thinking), Jason never cared for Tim, and then writers that didn’t know how the Red Hood worked made him try to kill Tim so, to me, that relationship is non-existent, Jason doesn’t really perceive Tim (yet).

Jason and Damian, listen, I know that there is this fanon theory that Jason knew and cared for Damian while he was in the League, but that is just fanon talk and it doesn’t really fit in canon either. Jason wasn’t really capable of doing much other than fight, and after he was put in the Lazarus Pit he either had to leave because Ra’s wanted to kill him or Talia took him to the All-Castle. So, Jason’s only real interactions with Damian would be when Jason was written as a crazy, blood thirsty dude that actually tried to harm a child. So, him and Damian wouldn’t really have a good relationship (yet).

Jason and Cass… that’s just a no. Jason and Barbara, I mean Barbara was older than Dick when she first met Jason, so they wouldn’t have much of a relationship.

Now, lets move on to how I will make the Dick-Family work.

Dick (bless him) actually talks and listens to people, unlike Bruce, so the change would start there. Let’s set the timeline, I will stand right after the events of Under the Red Hood. Bruce just chose saving Joker over letting Jason kill the Joker and the building they were in exploded.

Batman keeps on being himself (trash) and Jason, having survived the explosion, moves on to keep on building his empire. He really wants to control the drug trade in Gotham, so he works on that, he slowly but surely takes his place as a drug lord again and is a constant pain in Black Mask’s ass.

While Jason is doing that, Dick is trying to put together his life after Bludhaven was attacked with Chemo. Let’s say that Bludhaven isn’t completely erased from the map but he does have to leave so the city can be re-built. He goes to Gotham, where the Red Hood works.

Let’s say that Alfred told Dick who was under the Red Hood, so Dick being a good brother goes looking for Jason. Their first interaction out of the mask wouldn’t be nice, Jason barely remembers his life before the pit and he really is convinced that Dick is the absolute worst.

But then Jason being a nosy man would make an appearance, for some reason, let’s say that he hacks into the Batcave and when he does that he finds some footage… The footage in question would be the one which shows Bruce punching Dick and sort of blaming him for Jason’s death. (Oh yeah, I am going there). The footage will make a memory come to mind, Dick taking Jason on a skying trip.

So, the next time that Dick and Jason see each other is because Jason went looking for Dick and here is where these two actually talk. The way I see it, Dick is more flexible with the no killing rule, he has worked many times with people that are villains or that just have different ways of doing things. So, I think that he would understand where Jason’s coming from with his ideas. As they begin to understand one another Jason begins to recover more and more memories from before the Pit.

They get together once a week and they chat about life as well as vigilante stuff. They become friends.

At the same time Dick is also very good friends with Tim and also acts like the amazing big brother he is with him. They chat, they sometimes work together and one day they come across a very complicated situation involving a new drug being introduced in Gotham.

Dick would call Jason and now both of them and Tim are reunited in a safe house working together so this new drug doesn’t fall in the wrong hands. Jason and Tim wouldn’t really like each other. Both of them are there for Dick and because they have to get the job done.

That’s how I see Dick forming the Dick-Family unconsciously. Hell, I will introduce Barbara now. Do you guys remember that in UtRH Barbara was mad with Bruce and didn’t want to work with him but she was still in contact with Dick? Well, I am using that so it can fit my narrative.

Dick, Jason and Tim need more intel so Dick calls Oracle (real Oracle) and because Barbara trusts Dick she works with them.

Here is where it gets interesting, through Barbara, Dick meets Cass, through Tim he meets Stephanie. You see that Dick’s connections are leading him to form a group of people. Cass and Stephanie are trained by Babs and Dick and they become the new Batgirls.

As all of that keeps developing Jason and Dick become “partners in crime” they help each other, they start building a brotherly relationship again. Although Jason refuses to say that out loud.

Then comes in Damian, a difficult child if there has ever been one but he has Bruce so Dick doesn’t have to jump in that fast… right?

Oh brother! Bruce is dead (omg what would we do? Battle for the cowl maybe? No!). with Bruce gone there is only one person who can take his place and everyone knows it has to be Dick.

Dick would feel a lot of things as he is taking Bruce’s place as Batman but he has a group of people ready to back him up (Alfred, Jason, Tim, Babs, Cass, Steph), and he also has to take care of Damian, he is a child and with his father gone then maybe his mother would want to take him back to the League of Assassins, Dick obviously doesn’t want that so he talks to Tim and tells him that he sees him as his equal and that he has a plan to make Damian stay and it involves making Damian his new Robin.

Tim would obviously be sad and a little hurt, but he understands Dick’s decision because they talked about it and Dick actually took the time to explain why he was doing what he was doing (really DC half of the problems you guys come up could be fixed in seconds if people would only take some time to just TALK!).

Dick and Damian work as Batman and Robin and Dick starts assuming the position of his father. They would live with Alfred in the penthouse and maybe Tim will join them from time to time (when he wasn’t busy with Young Justice/Teen Titans stuff). Slowly Dick and Damian will become the Dynamic Duo that we love today.

So, Dick would have his own Robin, Oracle (who is also managing her own team with Black Canary and (why not) the Batgirls), Red Robin and Red Hood working with him if he needs them. They are always a call away. Jason is the most difficult to reach and he will only involve himself in that kind of drama if its about controlling the drug trade or scaring the living shit out of some very shady people.

So, Red Hood wouldn’t be working with the new (and improved) Batman but Jason would hang out with Dick sometimes.

From there they build up. Dick renovates Arkham Asylum and makes it work they way that it is supposed to work. He might also recruit Catwoman when he needs someone really sneaky, they have known each other for so long, I bet Selina loves Dick, she would certainly help him out.

But as all things do, this happy and well-connected Dick-Family is disrupted when Bruce comes back, he inserts himself slowly back into his role as Batman and as he does that Dick starts to move away from it.

But Dick’s connections are strong and well cared for, so, even when he goes back to Bludhaven and starts fresh (again) as Nightwing those connections remain. Oracle still gives him intel, Robin and Red Robin come over to Bludhaven to patrol, maybe they even have their own rooms at Dick’s place.

With Bludhaven functioning again, all of the terrible people that were working there also come back, maybe some of them never left and they have been corrupting the city from its very core. So, when Jason tells Dick that he would like to expand his operations to Bludhaven, Dick says yes, as long as Jason keeps him updated on his work and also lets him know what is going on.

I think it works! What do you guys think so far?

From then on with the whole Dick-Family being connected and strong I think they can actually act and solve their problems as a family. All those arcs that didn’t work very well because Bruce was in the middle of it being a jerk, I think they will work if Dick is at the centre of it. Let’s say that Bruce hid the fact that Joker knows their identities and all that, with such a strong family the second that the Joker tries to manipulate Jason into believing that he created him, Dick will come out of the shadows and shut that bullshit down. If Joker tries to do something to the Circus, then the Birds of Prey and the Robins will be there in seconds helping Dick.

The Court of Owls, those little shits wouldn’t stand a chance against this team, this force of nature! Jason would be the one working from afar because you know my boy wouldn’t be subjected to the “no-killing” rule but if he does it, he has to do it away from the children (Damian) and away from Cass, if he doesn’t want to know real trouble. (He probably arranged those things with Dick a long time ago and he is happy with it).

Now, please forgive me but for angst reasons I will actually let the events of, Batman Incorporated #8, Forever Evil, Nightwing #30 and Spyral run its course.

Let me explain, after Damian’s death Dick holds the Dick-Family together, as well as Bruce because he is amazing like that, but then after Dick supposedly dies, things change just a little bit. Jason would retreat back to his own corner because the only thing attaching him to the Dick-Family was Dick but he would also keep his eyes open and he might also have a direct line with Oracle if things go south.

Aside from Jason, I do see the others working on keeping their connections intact. When Damian eventually returns the land of the living, I can see all of them coming together even more because that’s what Dick would have wanted.

And then Dick will come back from Spyral and here is where the Dick-Family will show the “Bat-Family” why its superior to it in every aspect possible.

The Dick-Family will notice that something must have happened, Dick would never play dead and leave them like that, but Dick loves Bruce and he doesn’t want to tell them the truth, Bruce has no memories now and his family doesn’t deserve that kind of drama BUT Jason and Tim are suspicious, they know Dick at this point and they trust him so they firmly believe that he is hiding something to protect someone. And here is where life repeats itself. Let’s review the Batcave’s footage, yes, I did it again, I just love the fact that Bruce has footage of himself being the absolute worst to his kids, how does DC not use it! Anyway, Tim and Jason find the footage from the events of Nightwing #30 and suddenly the Dick-Family have their “Dick defence squad” jackets on and they are ready to party.

After all that Bruce eventually gets his memories back and he is held accountable for his actions. Also, around this time the events of Robin War would have already happened so Duke is also introduced. Dick lets him join and all that, and then Duke and Cass become besties and they work together.

And yeah, as Rebirth comes closer the Dick-Family would be more united than ever.

The end.

That is how I would have done it. But this way is slow, and DC wouldn’t be able to monetize it as much as they would want.

Jason wouldn’t be giving hugs and calling everyone their brother or sister, he will only get along with Dick and he would be professional with everyone else.

Tim and Damian would get along but they wouldn’t go for ice cream together on a sunny day. Steph and Damian would and so would Cass and Tim or Cass and Duke.

Oracle would work with Dick and the others as a side thing because her main thing would be the Birds of Prey, this time with Helena too.

Alfred would spend his time with Bruce but he would also be very aware of Dick and his influence on everyone around them. Bruce eventually would be integrated to the Dick-Family because Dick is a sweetheart but Dick would also make Bruce follow his rules, Dick is a little bean but he is also the most badass person in the room (whichever room) so you better listen to what he has to say.

The Dick-Family would be something that grows silently and doesn’t need a “Joker War” in order for them to be there for each other, they would try their best each step of the way and they will talk things out when mistakes are made.

This is the way that I see this family dynamic working.

I would even go as far as to say that Talia can be part of the Dick-Family because she is connected to three people, Dick, Damian and Jason.

Dick is the person with most connections in the DC Universe, the Titans, the Justice League, Deathstroke, they all have connections to this treasure of a man. If he needs help in Gotham or Bludhaven then he can call people from the “first circle”, if things are beyond a “street level” threat them he can call the Titans and if shit really hits the fan, Clark and the others are a call away.

Anyway, this was unnecessarily long, I am sorry about it but I am also not because I really don’t know how to answer your question without going on a long rant.

In conclusion the Bat-Family doesn’t work and sadly it wouldn’t work no matter how much they force it. These people don’t have connections, Bruce is not able to make connections between people. And DC has erased entire relationships that Dick used to have. I mean, they got rid of Dick and Tim being close brothers just so they could give us a shitty brunch between Tim and Jason? Only yesterday we saw a true and beautiful interaction between Dick and Damian.

DC is handling the “Bat-Family” in all the worst possible ways. It just doesn’t work.

They should have used Dick all those years ago and they shouldn’t have destroyed Jason’s characterization with Lobdell’s ideas.

So, sadly, my dear anon, I don’t see the Bat-Family as a in character thing for any of these people as they are written currently, but I hope that you enjoyed my version of it. May the Dick-Family bring everyone who reads about it a little joy!

#Dick-Family #Jason Nation #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #red robin #robin #batfamily #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dc comics #jason todd #asksss

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