#of course bts are not fictional but just thinking about their interviews or their words makes me happy so that’s were my mind goes when I | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jungkook97 · 1 year

Text

fling;; jjk

pairing: canon idol!jungkook x reporter!reader

word count: 4.6k

rating: ma

genre/warnings: romance, angst

summary: you were interviewing bangtan and couldn't help but felt a level of closeness to the youngest member. soon after, jungkook ended up taking a liking to you, proposing that you two should meet up throughout the week while he was in town for a little fun.

notes: this has been a fantasy of mine. it's angst as usual, but it's more so of lost connections that the boys may have upon going on these promo cycles overseas.

this also exists within the decision to leave jungkook fictional universe from the perspective of the reader.

You were nervous. Very nervous.

Your hands were shaking a bit, clammy as you wiped the sweat off on your dress as you checked your Apple Watch for the fifteenth time. It wouldn’t really change anything but more so of a tick that you had whenever you were nervous.

It was the first time you were assigned to interview with an A-list celebrity, or rather, an A-list group. You followed their careers from nearly the beginning, slowly becoming a major fan (minus the unhinged nature of being a stan, of course). It was as if you were living your dreams out in reality, something that you never thought in a hundred years or even this lifetime that you could do.

And so, you held your breath as the time ticked closer and closer to their arrival. The staff had arrived to go over some topics that you couldn’t talk about, the usual: dating, anything super personal, and anything that would be anti-capitalistic (although you had a feeling that some of the members wouldn’t have minded having such conversations). You knew the drill at that point as you zoned off, thinking about how you would be interviewing the biggest band in the world, talking to them and them actually responding back to you in real time.

It was hard to grasp for you. Like everyone else, you always saw BTS as a group that meets a lot of people every single day, not really being able to distinguish faces or fully pay attention like operating on autopilot. The idea that they would be perceiving you drove you insane as your heart thumped ever so loudly in your eardrums, wondering who you saved in a past life to deserve interviewing a group you admired for so long.

Eventually, the time came to usher them in, and you held your breath in anticipation, continuing to self-soothe yourself by rubbing your hands on your thighs as they walked in one by one, looking exactly the same. You had seen them in concert in the press boxes, maybe a few times up close as a fan, but having them bow to you in greeting…it was a lot.

“H-hi,” you mustered all the courage to start the greeting, meeting eyes with every single member slowly, taking it all in. They responded, leaving your heart leaping for joy and also with an uncomfortable, but not uneasy feeling in your throat. You felt like it caught a mass while you were waiting for them, but you knew it was just simply nerves. “S-sorry if I’m too nervous around y’all–”

All of them started chuckling, with Namjoon putting his hands up in attempt to comfort you (it did a bit).

“It is totally okay,” Namjoon spoke in his usual deep voice, perhaps an octave lower than you anticipated. “We get this pretty often, actually.”

You flushed in embarrassment, shifting in your seat trying to feel a bit more comfortable. You could feel the heat of all seven of them having their undivided attention to you, and the studio lights being as hot too. You weren’t sure if you were sweating everywhere else, if you smelled, if you shaved enough to get rid of any peach fuzz, or if you put enough makeup to look just as gorgeous as they were.

It didn’t matter anymore. You were in the moment. Too late to go back now.

You took a quick deep breath, exhaling slowly as you heard your cameraperson stating that they were ready to roll.

“Let’s begin.”

It was easier than expected. Your nerves got the best of you at first as you stuttered the first few questions out before taking a five minute break. It was embarrassing, but the boys understood, trying to coax you and comfort you by stating that they get it often.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to be another young fan acting like a high school girl around their crush!” you laughed, wiping your tears away from the welling of tears as you were overstimulated (you had disclosed to them awkwardly about your neurodivergence, something that Yoongi immediately nodded and expressed his understanding much to your surprise).

“You’d be surprised,” Namjoon reassured, smiling. “There was a male reporter earlier that kept freaking out about Jin-hyung.”

“Really?” you chuckled as the members nodded in agreement, talking to their oldest in Korean, probably teasing him. You weren’t fluent in Korean, but you could tell from Jin’s red ears that they were making fun of the situation.

“Yeah, it was funny,” Hoseok said, his light and bouncy voice filling up the room. He had become as fluent as Namjoon was over the past year after having spent a year in the U.S. after his enlistment. “Like, I think he got a…crush?”

“Ey, no~” Seokjin protested, you understand for him to disagree. He spoke some more, in which the interpreter from the earpiece all of you had translated, “He was a fan of all of us.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it was just you,” Hoseok pressed via interpreter. “I can tell he was one of us,” he pointed to him and Jimin (the both of them had come out to the public two weeks ago together as a part of the LGBTQ+ community).

“A crush, huh? Worldwide Handsome getting everyone!” you laughed as the interpreter did as well, translating for the rest of the team. Everyone agreed, giggling as well.

“Can we continue?” Namjoon piped in, his index finger imitating an old film camera rolling. You nodded, gesturing to the cameraman to continue.

You and BTS talked about a lot of things at length, questions that you never thought you would ever say to them. Surprisingly, a lot of the more “controversial” opinions got past the company, perhaps from all the work the boys had done to be as transparent to the fans as possible. Most of what you speculated the boys had felt during their hiatus were validated, and some were debunked to your surprise. You were shocked to learn that most of them had a lot of control over their solo activities, if not complete control despite what the conversation was at the time on Twitter.

Eventually, the boys turned the mic back to you, asking something that caught you off guard.

“We heard you’re a huge fan of Jungkook’s,” Jimin beamed in mischief, nudging the youngest to pay attention. Jungkook had barely spoken at that point, but you had felt his eyes on you the entire time, getting you a bit flustered sometimes.

Jimin wasn’t wrong. You were the biggest fan of Jungkook’s, mostly ever since his sudden glow-up with his tattoo sleeve. You had a soft spot for the kid (you were a few years older than him), and seeing him grow into this confident and sexy late-20 something was satisfying for you to see.

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered out, your hands covering your mouth in shock. “How did you guys know?”

“Ah…” Jimin trailed off, looking towards his other members. “I think Namjoon-hyung found your Twitter fan account yesterday?”

Fuck.

“What?!” you exclaimed, standing up. The members cracked up as Namjoon began to protest, putting his hands up. “You stalked me?!” you asked teasingly.

“No! It’s just…” Namjoon started stuttering as well, caught in the act. “I heard from our translator that you were a big fan and so, I did some digging…”

“Well, you did a lot of digging!” you argued back, laughing and flushing madly. You didn’t want to look at Jungkook at this point, although you felt he was embarrassed based on how much he was shifting in his seat from the corner of your eye.

You felt like you wanted to die. Die in a sense, you now knew that Namjoon saw your unhinged tweets about the group’s maknae. You wondered how far he scrolled down, if he saw your tweets crying about Jungkook’s sparkly ensemble at the last concert stop a few days ago that amassed to tens of thousands of tweets. You wondered how he even found it, considering that you didn’t even follow your fan account on your public one. Maybe you forgot to unlink it on your YouTube account, or maybe you had accidentally shared the numbers on your Instagram. It didn’t matter: Namjoon found it.

It grew awkwardly quiet, and you could still feel the gaze from the youngest. You were too scared to even look at him. What if he thought you were insane or unhinged? Did Namjoon even show the tweets to him? You were mortified at the thought of him staring in disbelief.

What was even worse is that he knew before you guys officially met, meaning he had been staring at you the entire time in silence, probably mortified that an obsessed, crazed fan of his was conducting the interview. In fact, it made sense as to why he was so quiet: he probably was judging you for being batshit nuts on your stan account about him.

“Ah, I shouldn’t have said that,” Jimin sighed loudly, his words being translated. “Now it’s all awkward…”

“N-no, it’s okay,” you lied, shuffling your interview cards. “I had a feeling you guys have your burner Twitter accounts just watching us,” you squinted your eyes at Namjoon. His cheeks turned red as you did the same, your heart fluttering.

“It’s just Namjoon,” Hoseok emphasized, even though you knew that to be a lie. “He has too much time in his hands.”

“Ey, shut up,” Namjoon said in Korean, chuckling. “Well…don’t you want to say something to Jungkook, maybe?”

You blinked.

“Say what?”

He shrugged, smiling.

“I don’t know, I thought you guys would be the type to want to say something to someone you really admire. I’m sure Jungkook would like to hear from his biggest fan,” he teased.

You blushed madly, laughing nervously.

“I didn’t prepare or anything,” you began making excuses, your eyes slowly moving toward Jungkook’s direction to gauge his reaction. It took a few seconds, probably from the interpreter for him to understand what was going on before he sat up straight immediately, clearing his throat.

“Yeah!” Jungkook exclaimed a bit too loudly, clearing his throat again. “I wanna…hear.”

The rest of the members echoed the same sentiments.

“Ah fuck,” you muttered. Not BTS putting you on the spot to confess your feelings. It wasn’t something you really wanted to do in front of the entire group and the crew, but the crew kept pressuring you to do it. After all, it would make great TikTok content. It was then you turned away from the group, just dying from embarrassment.

“Come on, it would be so cute,” your PD encouraged you.

“But it’s so embarrassing,” you whined as you flushed wildly, your back toward the group. “I have so much to say.”

“I’m sure Jungkook wants to hear all of it. He seems to really like you!”

Your heart skipped a beat from hearing that. That was true, the group and you kept having great laughs and teases throughout the entire interview.

“Fine, fine.”

You took a deep breath, nodding towards Nicole, their interpreter. You could see Jungkook leaning in closer as you began.

“You’ve always been my favorite,” you began. “And uh, I always admired that you always did what you wanted no matter how many people said you shouldn’t. You’re strong and rebellious, something that I admire because I wish I had half of that strength…”

You closed your eyes at this point, your eyes swirling in its eye sockets. You couldn’t believe you were saying this to Jungkook who was right in front of you. For a moment, you forgot that you were interviewing him, that it was a professional setting. You felt like you needed to say all of this, knowing full well how much Jungkook had felt insecure about his image change and how he was being perceived. He was pretty explicit about that in the recent lives you were able to catch, and you wanted to comfort him.

“And I know that a lot of people have a lot to say about you, and as an older fan, I just want to say…not all of us are like that. I’m not, at least. I want you to be happy, to be loved, to be able to not be restricted by society’s standards. I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what, that you will always be my favorite person. I hope one day, you will find someone or something that will make you feel like home, Jungkook. I want…”

You swallowed.

“I want you to be comforted. And unconditionally loved.”

You sighed deeply, shaking your head as you opened your eyes, looking right at Jungkook. You felt a bit confident after all of that as Nicole continued translating for him. He was listening intently, crossing his arms trying to digest all that you said.

“Ah…” he vocalized a few times, nodding his head. His eyes grew glassy as he closed his eyes a bit.

There was silence, this time more comfortable than before. You held your breath in anticipation, wondering how he reacted to that. Was it too much? Were you being a little too extra?

Fuck, that was too much was it.

“I’m sorry if that’s a lot,” you blubbered out, putting your hands up in defense. “I…kind of lost myself there.”

A moment of silence for the translations.

Jungkook laughed.

“Ah, it’s okay,” he said in Korean. “Uh…”

He smacked his lips together, his eyes looking at the floor sheepishly. He then looked up at you, his eyes sparkling with genuine happiness and joy.

“Thank you,” his voice echoed in your skull as he thanked you in English.

You looked away abruptly, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. It was a lot, and you felt like you could die at any moment.

“Uh, let’s take a break, yeah?” Namjoon piped in. You agreed, taking your lavalier mic off and running straight to the bathroom.

Or rather, let’s end this so I can die in a corner, probably.

It wasn’t long until the interview was over, much to your dismay. While it felt like you were floating on clouds, it felt too short, too professional for your liking.

Ever since your confession though, you felt a pair of eyes intently following your every movement, or so you thought anyways. You never once coded Jungkook’s stare to be intense, but he was quite attentive after your little spiel, nodding and laughing at your jokes (even though it was off by a few seconds for translations). You wished that you were native in your own tongue, but as the interview went on, you surprisingly knew more than you thought, laughing at the supposed inside jokes they had. You guys went briefly over the infamous dumpling incident, which, at this point, had its own lore.

The boys felt approachable for once, although you knew for quite some time that they would be. You were similar in age with them after all, the same age as Namjoon give or take a few months. It felt like you were talking as friends rather than an actual interview that you were being paid to do.

Nonetheless, the interview was a success, and you were packing your things up to go home.

That was, until Namjoon approached you.

“Hey,” he began, startling you. Your eyes widened at him coming up, being his normal self.

“Hey,” you managed to say back, trying not to freak out. Is he about to do what I think he’s about to do? “What’s up?”

“Uh…” Namjoon put his hands in his pockets, smiling sheepishly. “I was wondering if you wanna get dinner with Jungkook and I. He told me he really liked your energy today, and was wondering if we could talk more over some food.”

Holy shit. Is this real?

“Uh….” was all your stupid self could say, gawking at him as if he said something completely unintelligible. “Um…”

Say yes, you asshole.

“It’s fine if you have to like, uh, edit and shit,” he continued, his eyes averting away from you, his voice trailing off.

Fuck, dude. Say something back. Say YES.

“Um…”

Then, you saw Jungkook at a distance, overwatching the whole conversation. His lips were pursed into a pout, his neck extending toward the direction of you two, perhaps trying to hear what was going on. There was no way you could be making this up. Jungkook seemed… interested in wanting to spend more time with you.

Romantic? Unsure. But definitely interested.

This wasn’t the first time a celebrity has asked you to dinner (in fact, you were a looker yourself, whether you liked it or not), but with BTS? They were more definitely out of your league. However, you felt like you had been friendly at this point, so why not?

“Yeah, why not?”

Dinner was a blast. In fact, it was the most fun you ever had.

While you and Namjoon exchanged even more funnier quips, teases and passionate arguments about life, you and Jungkook sat next to each other, just feeling rather comfortable. It wasn’t to say that you two were feeling each other up, but Jungkook, an avid fan of Namjoon’s, was taking your side the entire time, initiating contact here and there to definitely show more than just platonic interest. You were taken aback at first, recoiling your hand when he “accidentally” brushed his hands against yours, but after a while, you leaned into him, showing your desire to get closer too.

Jungkook wasn’t as shy as you thought he was, and by the time dinner was over, he was playing footsies with you, his shoulder leaning against your own but disguised as him getting a bit too drunk for everyone’s liking (well, Namjoon’s anyways). Namjoon showed signs of feeling like the major third wheel, but he was, after all, the wingman in all of this, awkwardly smiling his infamous smile when he felt out of place.

“Ah, you guys look really comfortable, huh?” Namjoon pointed the obvious out in his native tongue as you laughed. Jungkook leaned into you as you cupped his face with the biggest grin ever seen.

“He’s adorable,” you replied back. “Cuter off-camera, if you ask me.”

“Gag,” Namjoon teased. “You guys need a room?”

You were staring into Jungkook’s doe eyes at this point, the chocolate pools of wonder. He was deeply in love, or at least, enamored by your presence. It turned out he was feeling you as well throughout the interview, and something in the air felt right to him. Not per se, bells ringing in his ear (he was past the romanticism), but he wanted more. So much more than what you two could do in front of Namjoon.

“Can we use yours, hyung?”

It didn’t take long before you two fucked after Namjoon and the two of you parted ways. In fact, both of you leaped onto each other madly the moment the door closed behind you. Of course, it was met with the typical NDA the morning after, something that you were quite used to at this point. It was a given that your night with him would be done in secrecy and with a contract to never speak of it, but to be honest, you weren’t planning to do that anyways. Jungkook was yours, even if it was for a split second.

“You’re incredibly beautiful, you know,” Jungkook breathlessly said after some time had passed, your bodies entangled with each other under the pillowy white sheets. “I never felt like I could just connect with someone I just barely knew.”

You grinned back, kissing his lips and the rest of his face.

“Call it karmic,” you replied back.

Jungkook, not knowing what the word was, leaned back in confusion.

“Kar…mic?”

“Uh…” you struggled to find the Korean word equivalent, trying to run through your shoddy vocabulary. “Um…it’s like…fate…?”

You weren’t sure what the word was, although it seemed to be received well with Jungkook. His pupils grew dilated as his mouth relaxed into a comfortable smile. He closed his eyes, leaning against you.

“Ah…fate, right?”

You blushed wildly.

“Yeah…fate.”

For the next week, you two met up every night in between your guys’ respective craziest schedules. Thankfully, it was easy because you were able to attend their next show (at the request from the artist, of course). While the others were in the press box though, you were in the family and friends’ box in which Jungkook may or may not have secretly passed by to steal a kiss or a hug. The two of you had agreed that this would be a short thing, nothing too serious. After all, the language barrier was a bit rough, and you two were working professionals.

However, you couldn’t help but to feel more of a connection besides a little fling because well, both of you were totally into each other. He eventually gave his personal cell (or at least, the U.S. one he used in the States) to text, something that Jungkook admitted he didn’t do often. Adoringly, he had his read receipts on, and it looked like he always checked to see what you wrote, even if it took a good hour or two to respond.

“I’m getting better at it, okay? Heh,” he would write, sending butterflies in your stomach. He was making an effort, although you can never be sure if he was like this with other people. Not that it mattered, you knew what it was, and you weren’t going to be caught up in it.

As the days went on, you and Jungkook started sharing intimate details about each other, something that you only had when it was a real relationship. This confused you, but maybe it was because you used to be the only one who did it as a part of the neurodivergence part of your personality. You found out more about his flings, how much he craved for more than just fucking around.

“I don’t know,” he said one night as you brushed your fingers through his hair, his face buried deep into your chest. “I feel like…you know, I want something more with all of these people. Like…I’m wasting my time whenever I do these things, but…I can’t help it. How can I find someone when I’m Jungkook of BTS?”

It was a lot to take in, but you took it on like a champ. There were thoughts that you wondered what Jungkook would think about, and it felt unreal that he could say all of these things to you in the comfort of his hotel room, away from all the lights and the glitz and the glamour. In this moment, in this scene in your guys’ story together, he was yours.

“Do you want more?” you asked quietly. You weren’t sure as to what you were saying, but it felt right to ask.

He shifted his head and moved it up to see yours, closing the gap between you two.

“Always. I always want to be loved unconditionally.”

It was getting complicated, fast.

You weren’t sure how to end it. In fact, time was ending it for you. It was Jungkook’s last day in the States, and it seemed like Jungkook suggested you go on tour with him for the next stop, Central America. While you weren’t entirely opposed to it, you knew where this was going. Last time, a celebrity had suggested that you to do a documentary film on them, and while you were flattered, it was just another way to keep you around at their convenience.

It wasn’t to say that Jungkook was being selfish. Rather, it was the circumstances that made him think this way. With how restrictive the industry was, and how incredibly famous Jungkook was as well, it was hard for him to see people besides those closest to him, which at this point, had began to warn you during your time in the family and friends’ box at the shows about Jungkook’s quick attachment to people.

“I know he always says he doesn’t get attached, but he really does,” an ex-fling told you in confidence in between VCRs. “He told me he was going to keep it professional, but the guy lies.”

You were dreading it. Although you felt great that you slept with your favorite, it wasn’t your intention to get anything more out of it because well, what is there left? You signed an NDA, the company regularly asked if you two used a condom…it was getting invasive, weird, and it was starting to turn you off.

And so, the last night came through and you two met up again. This time, you knew it was the last time, and to Jungkook, maybe the start of something new.

As you began to pack up your things, Jungkook laid on the bed sprawled out underneath the sheets.

“So…Mexico…” he began. You sighed, knowing it was coming.

“No, Jungkook,” you replied, turning toward him. “As much as I liked this, I can’t travel with you.”

“I’m not asking for you to travel with me,” he rebutted, sitting up and grabbing his shirt to put it back on in one hand. “I’m just saying, come with me to the next show! It would be great coverage for the magazine.”

“Jungkook-ah, that’s not how it works,” you doubled down, zipping up your weekend bag before putting your jacket on. “I have to get approval from my editor. Plus, people are starting to talk, and frankly, I started getting texts from your fans about us.”

There it was, what you had been hiding. Honestly, you were used to it from the last celebrity you hooked up with, but this time, his fans, or his stalkers to be exact, knew everything about you, threatening to ruin your life if you didn’t stop fucking him. It was getting emotionally taxing, but you wanted to hide that from him. After all, you were confident that wasn’t his first time hearing this.

“They’re not my fans and you know this,” he argued, now getting up and putting on his Adidas track pants. “The real ones will know it’s a little fling.”

“Do they though? Do you though?”

There it was, the hard truth.

Silence enveloped between you two, and Jungkook stood there in the dark with his hands in his pockets. He was staring at you, his eyes clearly pleading for you to not leave.

“Don’t leave,” Jungkook’s words came after. “I know this seems a lot, but I really like you. We can make it work.”

Make it work…as if that could ever be a thing.

You walked toward Jungkook with your weekender bag slung over your shoulders. Slipping your shoes on as well, you came closer to him, his breath hitched as you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you began. “We can’t keep doing this. This is our last night together.”

He exhaled sharply, his eyes closing slowly.

“I know.”

It didn’t take long before you two blocked each other on everything, pretending that you two didn’t exist to each other. It took a few more weeks before the fans stopped bothering you, probably focusing on the next fling Jungkook had.

And so there it was, you had a fling with one of the biggest stars in the world.

If only you knew what would happen next.

END.

#jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #writing #mine #this jungkook has been haunting my dreams for ever tbh bc you know. i'm in media and i can't imagine being in this position kdlahglshg #he totally would be so in luv but knows it can't go any further than that you know #but yeah i figured i can make a bit of a wong kar wai universe thing for decision to leave jungkook to flesh him out better #and someone did request to make stories in the pov of the reader so here u go!#yes i left it like that on purpose haha #dtl

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rainbowsky · 2 years

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hi, who do you think comes across as more sensitive between ggdd?

That's a difficult question to answer, since there are different kinds of sensitivities and everyone expresses their sensitivities in different ways. We also don't know GGDD personally.

Fake, fan fiction, total CPN.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't actually know them personally, so my perspective is based on general impressions and isn't likely to be accurate. Who can we say we actually know who we've never met? Therefore, please don't take my words here too seriously. This is total CPN.

Having said that, based on my impressions, I think both GG and DD are very sensitive, although they express it in slightly different ways.

GG is an incredibly aesthetic, poetic person, and very observationally sensitive. I don't think there is much that escapes him. He seems to have that sort of empathetic, insightful human sensitivity that leads to people feeling 'known' by him. The kind of friend who picks out a gift so thoughtful that you feel moved to tears. He has enormous compassion and an ability to pick up on and empathize with other people and their life circumstances.

He has personal emotional sensitivity, too. We see this a lot in moments where he is moved to tears, and doesn't appear overly ashamed or afraid to share his feelings.

He also is eloquent and expressive, and able to translate his sensitivities into beautiful art and heartfelt, evocative essays and poetic writings. His expressiveness and human insight are also a big part of why he is so especially gifted with acting serious, heavily emotive, angsty characters and scenes. He gets inside the characters and brings them to life.

Many turtles (myself included) CPN that GG wrote DD's birthday message last year. The message reflects an enormous amount of insight, acceptance and care. The final paragraph, especially, is just so beautiful and shows so much genuine love. Argh. 🥺

A lot of people seem to assume that because he's a poetic, aesthetic, sensitive person he must be a total pushover, but actually GG has said himself in the past that with people he is close to he can be very domineering and strong-willed, and that he's a 'Chongqing hot pepper'. He also said in an interview that he's 'not as sweet as he shows us,' and referred to himself as a 'charming and adorable antagonist' with a 'hot temper'.

So fans who think of him as entirely soft, passive and feminine (of which there are many), they might not be seeing the full picture of who he is and what he's like.

And I see this in a lot of his behavior, especially in the BTS. He has a strong personality; he takes no bullshit; he is a tough guy who doesn't coddle people. He's capable of being ruthless. He is very intelligent and enjoys outsmarting others, which was on display again and again during XFIRE activities. He also has a very strategic, sharp mind. Some of this can be seen in the choices he makes and some of it comes through in the statements he makes. The interview he gave in the early days of 2/27 shows some of that.

It's that multi-dimensional aspect of him that I love most.

Pie also gave some good insights into his personality in her post about the window cleaning robots rumor.

There's more to GG than meets the eye.

DD is also very sensitive and compassionate. You see it in how he interacts with people. Like GG, he listens closely to what people say and he sees beneath the surface to their emotional reality. One of the best examples of this is in the episode of DDU where he empathized with a woman who had been dating a man who most people would say was totally wrong for her.

DD is very moved by the struggles of ordinary people. We saw this when he stepped up to help with the relief effort in Henan, and when he stopped to help a deaf mute man (unaware he was being filmed for a candid camera show - more on that in this post).

I also see DD as the sort of person who is sensitive to other people's needs. Look at the way he looks out for GG in the BTS, getting him to eat and making sure he's taking care of himself. There have also been a lot of reports from behind the scenes of his filming projects, where cast and crew have talked about how humble and hardworking he is, and how he's not above helping crew clear up when filming ends.

DD is a very open-hearted, 'pure' soul. Many people have said so, including GG. Despite all the struggles he's had, he's stayed youthful and free-spirited.

We can see with the grand romantic gestures DD has made in the past that he is very emotionally sensitive and romantic. If even a tiny fraction of the fake rumors and repos are true, DD is a disarmingly sweet and thoughtful guy.

One of my favorite examples of this comes from the 300G pages that claim to be a transcript/repo of unseen BTS moments from the 300GB of BTS clips reportedly sold to fansites. Total fan fiction, but it perfectly captures the sort of sweet guy DD is.

GG is having a hard time getting a take right for a scene, and the director tells him to take a break. DD scoots over to where GG is resting and holds out his two fists facing downward in front of GG and asks him to pick one for a surprise.

GG agonizes a bit over which one to choose, but finally picks a hand. DD gives GG a mysterious smile and asks GG to hold out his hand. GG does, and DD opens his fingers over GG's palm. There's nothing there. DD says, "I've just given you some luck, so that on your next take, you will succeed."

GG asks what is in the other hand and DD turns it over and opens it and says, "See, there's nothing there! Zhan-ge is so good, you guessed right on the first try!"

GG rolls his eyes at DD and says, "WYB, in your heart, do you think I'm more than 10 years old?"

On the next take, GG nails the scene.

A lot of people focus on DD's 'savage', 'blunt', 'cool guy', 'sporty', 'thrill-seeking', 'dirty-minded', characteristics and miss out on the extremely sweet, kind, sensitive side of him, and conversely a lot of people focus on the sensitive, sweet, cute side of GG and miss out on the tough, headstrong, sometimes even crude side of him.

This comes, I'm sure, from the whole gender norm thing, where people try to superimpose heterosexual roles and personalities on them in order to make sense of the idea of two men being a couple. But gay relationships aren't like that. More on that here.

I think GG and DD both have quite balanced personalities, with a good mixture of traits and qualities. They strike me as very down-to-earth in ways that really contribute to their compatibility.

That's something to keep in mind as fans. GG and DD are compatible in part because they are able to connect on so many different levels and in so many different ways. They can be soft with each other, they can be tough with each other, they can be lewd and crude with each other, they can be serious and be fun together. And that all stems from the very multidimensional personalities they both have.

#bjyx #yizhan #bjyxszd #ggdd forever #ask

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jungshook69 · 3 years

Text

.:☆.°☾.Jealous.☾°.☆.:

DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t represent the members’ actions or the army’s actions in any manner it’s pure fiction. This is an original work, do not copy. The taglist is open if you want. Taglist is now closed.

WORD COUNT: 871 words

PAIRING/S: Hoseok X female reader

GENRE: Established relationship au ; Oneshot/Imagine

WARNINGS: None

ABOUT: This oneshot is part of a 7 part BTS imagine called “Jealous”. This oneshot is a reaction imagine of how each member would get jealous of their s/o in a given situation.

7 PARTS: Namjoon || Seokjin || Yoongi || Hoseok || Jimin || Taehyung || Jungkook

STATUS: Complete

☆.。.:*・°☾.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☾☆.。.:*・°☾.。.:*・

“What if they don’t like me?” you say nervously rubbing your clammy palms against the material of your skirt.

“Don’t worry babe, they’ll love you.” Hobi said grabbing your hand in his and planting a peck on your knuckles.

With your hand still tightly bound with his, he led you to the room where the photoshoot was going to happen. You were meeting your boyfriend’s bandmates for the first time, and of course you being you, were a nervous wreck.

But all of that nervous energy left you the moment you saw Hobi’s warm smile directed at you. And it wasn’t so bad after all. He introduced you to all the members and stayed beside you as long as he could. Soon it was his turn for the individual photoshoots.

You stood there watching him pose, thinking to yourself, how lucky you were, to have him in your life, when a voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Hi Y/N”

You tore your gaze away from your boyfriend to meet eyes with Namjoon. “Hello Namjoon”

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Hobi hyung talks very fondly of you.”

“The pleasure is mine.”

“So, you’re an English major huh?”

“Yeah, I actually want to write books, but I couldn’t take that career path due to a few monetary issues. So I had to go into journalism to secure a salary. Now that I have a stable financial income, Hobi has convinced me to revive my interest in writing, so I’m doing some research now for my upcoming book.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Preferred author?”

“I’d go with the classic, Charles Dickens”

“Ahhh a classic. I’m more of a Thomas Hardy guy.”

“You’re into… literature?”

“Yes I love reading, it’s my favorite pass time. I feel at peace when I read.”

“Same! I spend most of my days at the Chungwoon literature library”

“Oh wow, me too. We’re pretty alike huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so” you said returning his warm smile.

“Oh you have dimples too?” he says pointing out.

“We really are alike.” you said laughing out loud.

“Well I’d love to talk to you about a few works if you ever have time. But unfortunately I have to take a leave now, it’s my turn for the photo shoot.”

“Sure I’d love that.”

“Bye Y/N, it was nice talking to you.” he said walking away.

“Bye Namjoon.”

You turned your gaze away from the conversation you were so engrossed in, only to find Hobi missing. You ask around a few staff and learn that he was last seen retreating towards his changing room. You finally make it to his dressing room after troubling at least 10 staff members for directions.

You open the door and you’re greeted with the sight of his bare back as he slips on his white t-shirt. “Hey babe, how was the photo shoot?”

“Good” he says in a soft voice.

“I didn’t expect you to leave me alone, but thank god I found you, I would’ve gotten lost if it weren’t for the kind staff mem-“ you stopped your little rant as you realized Hobi’s expression remained unwavered as he began cleaning up the place, hanging his clothes up on an empty hanger.

“Hey what’s wrong?” you ask concern laced in your voice which he must’ve sensed since he laughed an unhearty laugh and responded dryly “Nothing, everything great.”

“Okay even an interviewer could tell that was a fake laugh. What’s going on babe?”

“It’s- It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Come on babe tell me, you’re worrying me.”

“It’s just that… immediately after my photo shoot, I was gonna surprise you with tickets to the Yoon Dongju literature museum… and spend some alone time with you… just you and me… but I guess you were busy talking to Namjoonie”

“Oh were you jealous babe?” you said poking fun at him.

“No” he said looking down at his feet. “But I know how much you love literature… and I know I’m not good at discussing the topics you love to talk about… but I want to try so you’d be able to talk to me about something you’re passionate about”

“Okay all jokes aside… I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Hobi you know I love you right? And it’s okay if you don’t like literature… I mean I don’t try to indulge myself in dance do I? I love you for who you are baby, please don’t change yourself for me, or anyone for that matter.”

“Thanks babe.” He said moving forward and embracing you in his arms. As soon as your head hit his warm chest, the sound of his heart thumping being music to your ears, you felt all your worries being washed away.

“You still up for that museum tour?” he asks meeting your gaze.

“Absolutely, as long as I’m with you.” You replied smiling.

“Well let’s go we don’t wanna be late now do we?” he says grabbing his jacket.

He then places a quick peck on the corner of your lips as he giggles like a 5 year old kid, “Inappropriate work kiss, too quick can’t stop me.”

You blush at his action and hurriedly leave the room before your face turns too red.

☆.。.:*・°☾.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☾☆.。.:*・°☾.。.:*・

A/N: Here I wanted to show that Hoseok is the type of person who always puts others needs before his. Even if he’s upset, he prioritises solving other people’s problems first. He’s an absolute angel and I don’t know what we did to deserve him. And he deserves all the love in the world.

Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69 for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)

TAGLIST: -

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

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what’s the line between a good adaptation and a bad adaptation? I’ve been running circles in my head thinking about where cql stands these past few days. Because i was also thinking about other adaptations like the pjo films and howl’s moving castle, like one of these is hated and the other is very much loved but both of them change so much from the original source material that it cannot be considered the same, movie howl and book howl are completely different characters and the plot for pjo was messed w so much in the films. So I was thinking about how much an adaptation can change before it’s considered a bad adaptation? or if changes really even matter if the adaptation achieves what it set out to achieve regardless of how different it is to source material? For the record I think cql is a bad adaptation but I’m unsure how to word it because the line seems kinda blurry

Hi anon,

As much fun as it would be to be the final arbiter on what constitutes a good or bad adaptation, it is a question to which there are unfortunately no definitive answers. But I am of course happy to share my opinion and thoughts on the topic!

I think a good adaptation needs first to meet a crucial condition, which is that it must be, on its own, a good work of fiction. That means on the one hand that it should not rely on the source material to be thematically or narratively cohesive--if prior knowledge of the source material is necessary to understand fully the adaption, I personally consider it a failure. On the other hand, this also simply means that the work of fiction must be competently-made, coherent, enjoyable, etc. on its own merits. However, some adaptations that are well-made and generally self-contained works of fiction remain bad adaptations. There is obviously more to the process than just producing a strong work of fiction based on elements of another work.

It’s good to keep in mind that changes are not inherently a bad thing since the process of adaptation requires change. Generally an adaptation aims to tell a story through a different medium, which requires changes even when the creative(s) in charge of the adaptation want(s) to remain as faithful as possible to the original. Telling a story through a visual medium vs the written form demands a different approach! And technical limitations might end up having a huge sway in the process: do you have the budget or the technology to execute everything described in a fantasy novel, for instance? how much time or locations do you need to tell the same story? As well, since adaptations are generally spear-headed by different creatives, changes to the source material are part of the creative process, by adding another perspective and by being forced, in a sense, to choose a specific interpretation of the source material. And that’s not even covering how adapting something from a different era or from a different cultural moment will require a form of “translation” to make it both intelligible and relevant to contemporary audiences.

In addition to these sort of “unavoidable” changes, there are many other factors that may enter into question. With CQL and MDZS, we have a salient example of how censorship might influence the process of adapting a property. The people who have a veto, in some shape or form, over the project may also pursue their own agendas. Matters of marketability and of targeting a specific market will also influence the direction an adaptation takes, especially when an adaption is done in a medium that requires large initial financial investments.

Personally, I believe that the way to make a good adaptation is to go either of these three ways: 1) take a source material that contains obvious weaknesses and improve upon them; 2) figure out exactly what is the appeal of the source material and what makes it original, and make sure that these elements are kept in the adaptation; or 3) reinvent the source material. In the first scenario, it is a case of stronger story-teller being handed a property that has a lot of flaws, and either doing away with them or filling up the gaps in the original narrative--thereby allowing the good in it to finally shine. A good example of that, imo, is The Old Guard movie, a tight narrative that excised a lot of the less savoury elements of the graphic novels and included a lot more emotional depth and pay offs.

In the second scenario, the most important factor is that the creative (or creatives) in charge of the adaptation really understand not only the source material but also why it became loved enough to be picked up for an adaptation--why it appeals to people, what makes it unique, what stands out. What I mean is that creative liberty and changes to the source material are totally fine so long as they do not lose the identity or appeal of the source material and do not present an interpretation that is not actually rooted in the original text. For instance, I personally hate the Anne with an E adaptation of Anne of Green Gables because to me it fundamentally misunderstands the point of the novels and why they became a phenomenon. Making a story that was written to be an uplifting fantasy about an abused orphan who still managed to find beauty in the world and to find love and acceptance in it into a grim “realistic” drama to try to “appeal to modern audiences” is fundamentally stupid and, honestly, offensive. As well, while I enjoy Pride and Prejudice 2005 as a film, I think it is an horrid adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, mainly due to the fact the director Joe Right clearly did not understand the novel. As a result the film is a representation of what he projects unto the narrative (something that is very clear when he talked about the novel in interviews or in the bts), and not what is actually in the text.

In the third scenario, what would be a loose adaptation is a situation where perhaps very little of the source material may remain. It might only be the premise, or some plot points, or some character relationships that are ultimately kept. These also include for me the “what if X narrative but Y set-up”, which can be awful (the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies movie is so shockingly bad when it could have been a fun, campy romp) but also a way to explore a source material in new ways or underlining certain themes that might have been not given as much light in the source material. In this case, I guess that what really makes it a good “adaptation” is whether it has something new or interesting to add to the source material through this loose adaptation, or whether it is just a gimmick.

To me, CQL fails as an adaptation both on its own merits (due to plot holes, on-the-nose and clumsy storytelling, inconsistent characterisation, technical failings, etc.) but also as it does not retain, for a number of reasons, what makes MDZS appealing imo (WWX’s characterisation, Wangxian’s journey, its heavy reliance on mystery, intrigue and themes, its willingness to show characters do cruel and violent things, etc.), all the while making the cardinal sin of being a weaker story than the source material (when the source material already provided them with all the material they would have needed to tell a story of at least equal complexity and competency).

#anon ask #long post

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chainofclovers · 3 years

Text

It’s been awhile since my brain insisted on a Life In a Bulleted List post! (Please forgive any odd emotional leaps bullet to bullet.)

During the middle part of this week, my wife is going to travel for a work thing for the first time since February 2020. We’re both fully vaccinated, in a spot with low COVID numbers, and she’s going to a spot with low COVID numbers, and honestly, it feels weird to be the amount of worried I am, which is not very worried! Obviously COVID is still a massive problem worldwide, and of course we live in a country whose greed and foreign policies actively make things worse for other places, and of course it’s still very important to take every precaution here (we’re still wearing masks in stores/public places, for instance). But I’ve spent the last fifteen months with pretty painful anxiety, worry, and anger as my near-constant companions, and it is wild to think about my wife going off to a different area and to feel...pretty much OK with that.

This will, however, be my first (and second and third) night spent without her since, yes, February 2020. And honestly, while it might be kind of a novelty this week to, like, eat something I like that my wife doesn’t, or to stay up writing until a not-very-sensible hour...all this time together has been great. Didn’t get tired of her once. (At least not anything a solo walk around the neighborhood or a solo trip to pick up groceries couldn’t fix.) We are very lucky. Understatement.

I am becoming a person who doesn’t kill every plant. And our yard is closer to “done” which is very exciting. And I’m finally getting to the point with container gardening where our food is semi-regularly seasoned with things I’ve grown. I’ve got a lot to learn but for awhile I was worried I would never be even partially successful.

Last week we found two young opossums dead in the backyard, quite far apart from each other. We couldn’t figure out what happened, but it’s possible they got into some poison elsewhere and ventured into our yard? I said some words over them (it’s not like we knew them but I suppose everything deserves to hear “you are loved and will be remembered” even if the people promising to remember you are just two random women) and we buried them and it was really sad. I love opossums, and I wish I knew what happened so I could try to prevent it in the future.

My writing brain continues to be entirely focused on fiction (well, fiction and my professional genre). I’m almost certain I’m currently setting a record for Longest Time Without Poetry since my childhood, maybe. It’s weird. But fiction! I’m having so much fun and feel so connected to everything I’m writing and thinking about, both in terms of orignal stuff and fic. I love the feeling of being out in the world doing mundane little things but in a good mood because of fiction. :) :) :)

I haven’t watched all of this past Friday’s Fire Drill Friday yet, but I think Jane Fonda’s hair is getting more Grace Hanson-shaped as the G&F season 7 filming gets closer to resuming. I feel very convinced this is true, whether intentional or subconscious, and I hope it means they’re gonna let Grace’s hair go grey this season. I know there’s at least one interview in which she said that’s what she wanted to happen, plus the Grace wig visible in S7 BTS pics (since they started filming after she’d already changed her real hair) seems to have grey roots?!

Speaking of FDF, the guest was Demi Lovato and it is pretty wild how many people on the Instagram event announcement, people who claim to be a Jane Fonda fan or a fan of the environment or social justice or whatever could absolutely Not Handle It to see someone respectfully yet nonchalantly use the correct pronouns for a non-binary person? The sanctity of grammar argument is EMBARRASSING. The phrase “attention addict” is EMBARRASSING. Especially since judging someone for seeming like an attention addict seems like a slippery slope on Judgment Mountain to judging someone for their actual addictions, past or present. And since we as a society love to punish people for their addictions and weaknesses instead of celebrating the way that self-discovery and honesty and self-actualization give people the tools to be stronger and cope with their “weaknesses” more effectively. And I’m sorry, Gail, but if you aren’t thinking maybe it’s a little weird that an 83-year-old can use they/them pronouns in a sentence while you’re on her page performatively misgendering someone, then you aren’t embarrassed enough but I will feel embarrassed on your behalf.

On a much, much, much happier note, baking with weed for older relatives is a love language. <3

And finally, on a very related note, I leave you with One Weird Trick your doctor won’t tell you for how to make sure you don’t forget which brownies are the special ones:

(Image ID: a white saucer containing two brownies. One is plain on top and the other is covered with a variety of rainbow sprinkles and colorful sugar.)

#do not reblog there are so many things in here not to reblog #more emotions than livejournal dot com #jane fonda appreciation society #cw opossum death #food things #personal #about me #grace and frankie #gender things #cw misgendering

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girlmeetsliv3 · 5 years

Text

Killing Me Softly: I

Sugardaddy!BTS x reader

They were beloved. The very ground they walked on worshiped. It had been that way since before you were born and it would remain that way even after your choice. Decisions decisions, it would decide your future. But why choose one when you could choose them all? If you chose none, well... that wasn’t a decision you could make.

AN: This is for the person who requested an ot7 sugar daddy story where bts are yandere. Sorry, it took so long, but this ended up being a three-part story. Hope everyone enjoys it!

Trigger Warning: The following story contains mentions of manipulation, abuse, and vivid descriptions of abusive acts. The behavior and mindset of the characters in this will be incredibly yandere and toxic. This is a work of fiction and doesn’t represent the character of bangtan sonyeondan. Enjoy ~~~

Word Count: 7,115

killingmesoftlywithhislove

Dear Ms. [Y/l/n]

We regret to inform you that your application has been denied. Unfortunately, you do not have the qualities or qualifications necessary to work as a crew member under McDonalds’ incorporated Inc. We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. Have a nice day.

Now, you weren’t conceited enough to think that it was impossible for your job application to be denied. You understood when you graduated university that finding employment would be difficult, but you also weren’t dense enough not to notice a pattern. This had been your tenth application and the same thing would always happen: you’d apply, they interview you, be ecstatic to hire you, and in under forty-eight hours you would receive a polite email where they would tell inform you that you didn’t have the ‘qualifications’ or ‘didn’t fit their image.’ You had done an internship at a top-notch telecommunications company, graduated in three years, and were in the top one percentile. How were you not qualified to flip burgers at McDonald's?! A deep sigh left your body as you pressed your forehead against the kitchen table, trying to calm yourself down. “Bad news again?” Sihyeon said exiting the bathroom, her hair perfectly styled into soft waves and a tight purple cocktail dress adorning her figure. “It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would I keep getting rejected? Is there something I’m not seeing?” You were exasperated and couldn’t help the tears that came to your eyes.

You wanted independence and to maintain yourself. Here you go…Sure you knew being an adult wasn’t easy and despite how naïve they called you, the struggle was always part of the journey. Despite this, it felt like there was something you were missing as if someone was playing a cruel joke on you. “You could always call them,” Sihyeon remarked as she put on her heels. “No. Absolutely not. I haven’t stooped that low.” Your roommate sighed and walked over to where you were sitting, leaning over the chair and giving you a back hug. “You don’t have to start again, but maybe just ask them for advice. Or at least talk to Hoseok. He always knows what to do.” Sihyeon was just trying to help, had she known everything she would have never suggested you go back. She might have even prohibited it. Her not knowing was for her own safety though and for it not to affect her relationship with her ‘clients’ as she called them. “Maybe, I don’t know. Hurry up you don’t want to be late.” There was fear in your eyes and Sihyeon noticed but being the friend, she is she merely kissed your cheek and promised to text you when she arrived and left. It didn’t matter, Sihyeon wouldn’t come home tonight but it was a matter of precaution. Being a sugar baby was a dangerous profession at times and you, unfortunately, found that out far too late.

You stared at your phone intensely, the face reflecting back being one of fear but desperation. Maybe she’s right. I just have to text one of them and ask for advice, the others won’t find out and I’ll go on merrily. It couldn’t be Hoseok though, he had been the first one you met and the one you had been the most hurt by. Seokjin was a better option: he was more rational and arguably the one you had spent the least amount of time with. Yes, Seokjin is the better option. Grabbing your phone, you opened the messaging app and pressed create a new message. When you found his contact, you hovered slightly over it, debating whether this was the right choice or not. Seokjin wasn’t fond of texting and preferred talking, saying there was far too much room for misinterpretation through text. You weren’t sure you could hold a conversation with him, but maybe leaving a voice mail might not hurt. So, you pressed the green phone icon and waited until the ringing echoed, it was funny how you knew exactly when he would pick up: always on the fifth ring. “Kim Seokjin speaking.” Fuck. “Hi, it’s [Y/n] [Y/l/n], I’m sorry to call you at such an unfortunate time. Are you busy?” You were tripping over your own words and were anxious at what his reply might be. “I’m always busy. What do you want?” Seokjin had never been the most affectionate individual, but the complete lack of human emotion in his voice let you know he no longer cared.

“You know what, never mind. Forget I called. I apologize for taking up your time.” You bit your lip and began to pace around the small apartment. This had been a mistake. Of course, he would hate your guts now, wouldn’t all of them? They felt used and abandoned. Their worst fear, materializing in the flesh. You waited for him to reply rudely or simply to hang up, but he didn’t. “[Y/n] I don’t have time to discuss this right now. Meet me tonight at St. Pierre’s around seven. I’ll be at the bar.” It was something you would end regretting later, you were sure of it. Nonetheless, you agreed to meet Seokjin there in hopes that he could help. All you could do was hope he didn’t misunderstand the purpose of your call or inform the other six. You could only pray.

St. Pierre’s was an upper-class restaurant that was a hybrid between French and Italian cuisine. It was in the heart of the city, but due to its ridiculous price and it always been booked only the elite of society got to enjoy it. You had the pleasure of being there three times in your life: when you met Hoseok, when you met the others, and now. Its elegant fifteenth-century inspired interior mixed the haunting roman architecture was a sight to behold. The bar, in itself, looked like something crafted by Rafael with it being made completely out of marble. It was something that when you had first come you had been afraid of touching, thinking that your second-class status would somehow ruin its elegance. The bar was mostly desolate except for a couple at the very corner sipping on wine. You could tell by her age and his demeanor their relationship: the younger man laughed but didn’t reach his eyes. His suit while fitted wasn’t of high fabric merely an imitation. The clothes she wore were simple, but anyone with a fine eye could tell the quality far surpassed anything bought at a department store. Before you would’ve never noticed things like this but being around them had changed the way you viewed the world. It also made it easy to spot anyone who was a sugar baby when you had been one not so long ago. Those thoughts brought a soft smile to your face as you remember how it all began…

_Thirteen Months Ago_

“Lola?”

You looked up from your phone to see a handsome man in a silk black buttoned-down and tight slacks standing in front of you. His face exactly like the profile picture, you had just been staring at. “Jung Hoseok?” You asked, standing up to greet him. To your surprise, instead of shaking your hand the man immediately went for a hug. “It’s nice to meet you. I have to admit I was a bit worried that you wouldn’t look like your picture.” There was relief in his voice and you too had worried about the same thing. “Yeah, same.” The two of you sat down with a waiter coming over and pouring water into the empty glasses before dismissing himself. Hoseok seemed to be analyzing you, taking in every detail of your face, it was a bit unnerving. As was the silence between the two of you. “Sorry, I’ve never done this before, so I don’t really know what to do…” You trailed off fiddling with the hem of your dress. “It's okay, I’m not an expert either nor do I expect you to be. Why don’t you start out by telling me about yourself? Like what about your name?” Hoseok smiled, leaning back into his chair. How did he? “How do you know Lola isn’t my name?” You questioned before it dawned on you that he didn’t, and you had just revealed it yourself. If you could facepalm at that moment you would’ve. “You don’t look like a Lola. That and I called your name like twice before.” Oh. You licked your lips before speaking, “[Y/n.]” If possible, Hoseok smiled even wider. His lips resembling a heart. “So [Y/n] why do you want to start sugaring?”

_Present_

“I thought the last time we spoke you said you never wanted to see any of us again.” Kim Seokjin looked like something out a romantic era painting, with his sharp yet delicate features. The way he was human but gave off this grandeurs aura few could give. You toyed around with the straw in your drink, it was sprite with a lime in it to make it look like alcohol. If you were intoxicated, you would make bad decisions and god knows this already was one. “Last time we spoke was today and you said to meet you here.” He hated when you play dumb, you weren’t doing it on purpose, but rather to avoid the inevitable. Best not to dwell on the past for it wouldn’t bring it back. Seokjin took a seat on the barstool next to yours, waving the bartender away when he came forward. It seems he wasn’t keen on drinking either, not that you could blame him. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you? It’s not every day an ex-lover calls to chat.” His words were meant to appear light, but you could see the way his jaw was locked, and his teeth were slightly clenched. Ex-lover. There was a problem.

“I was never your lover Jin, that isn’t what we agreed on. We also never spoke of becoming lovers.” Subconsciously you reached out towards him, but the second your fingers touched his Seokjin recoiled; as if being burnt by your touch. It hurt. “Well then, why did you call me [Y/n]?” The longer you stared into his eyes, the more you knew this wasn’t going to work. There was pain, wrath, but also insanity swirling around in his pupils. Seokjin could only take so much until he cracked, and you didn’t want a repeat of that night. “I’m sorry Jin, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for wasting your time and taking up your night. I hope you have a good life.” You took out your wallet and dropped what you owed before attempting to slide off the chair. Attempt was the right word, as Seokjin immediately took hold of your forearm prohibiting you from leaving. “We aren’t done talking until you tell me why you called me.” His voice had lowered significantly, his hand applying more pressure to your arm by the second. “Seokjin, you’re hurting me. Let go.” You whimpered, trying to pull your arm away. It only served to have him pull you closer, your body taut against his.

“You hurt us, [Y/n]. You made us fall for you, only to toss us aside when we weren’t necessary. Now what you come back only to parade in front of me and then abandon me again, I don’t think so.” Tears began to spring to your eyes as a deranged look overtook Seokjin. Your arm turning white from lack of blood. It was the way he had stared at you that night. The way they all stared at you. It made you want to cry out for help, thankfully you didn’t have to. “Is everything okay?” You didn’t recognize the voice, but when you turned you saw it was the older lady with her sugar baby beside her. The woman’s elegant features wrinkled into a frown at your expression. Seokjin immediately released you and masked his face, “Everything is fine. Sorry if we scared you.” You took the opportunity to excuse yourself and head straight for the exit. Ordering an uber and getting in, before Seokjin could find you.

_Eleven Months Ago_

Hoseok and you had a lunch date scheduled with a business partner of his. The two of them trying to acquire a developing technology from an old ahjussi. You were there to entertain his wife who Hoseok had described as ‘simple-minded but nice.’ You weren’t sure if it was a compliment or not. You also weren’t sure of your role only that you were Hoseok’s date. Though the two of you had spent some time together it was usually alone, Hoseok wasn’t a fan of public outings and since learning of his position as head of a major corporation, neither were you. “You look stunning.” Hoseok had told you, when you had met him at the restaurant thirty minutes before the meeting was scheduled. Hoseok had gifted you a baby blue cap sleeve dress to wear today and you loved it. The two of you had never really agreed on your payment: sometimes it would be gifts, outings, or sometimes he would deposit five hundred dollars to into your PayPal account.

“Oh, I have a friend I would love for you to meet. His name is Kim Seokjin, we’ve known each other since high school.” From the fondness in his tone, it seemed Seokjin meant a lot to Hoseok. So, you smiled and nodded, hoping the man was as nice as Hoseok described him to be. Not even five minutes later, a black Audi pulled up to the curve and out stepped a man so beautiful, the gods might envy him. He quickly looked around and smiled the moment his eyes met Hoseok’s. That must be him. Seokjin handed the car keys to the valet and walked towards the two of you, his eyes never leaving Hoseok as the two embraced. “How have you been, Hobi? I haven’t seen you in forever.” His voice was higher pitched than you had imagined, but it suited him somehow. The two exchanged pleasantries until the focus shifted onto you. “Jin this is [Y/n]. She’s the one I’ve been telling you about.” You didn’t know why Hoseok had been speaking to his friends about you, but all those thoughts disappeared when Seokjin finally looked at you.

There was such potency and intimacy in his stare, you felt as if the world around you had faded and all that was left was him and you. Seokjin’s eyes trailed down your body as if he was drinking you in. You should’ve known he was trouble just from that. What should’ve tipped you off to how dangerous he truly was, is how he was able to return to normalcy in the blink of an eye. “Nice to meet you, [Y/n]. Hope we can be friends.” Seokjin had no intention of being friends with you and you had known it since then.

_Present_

It wasn’t until you reached your apartment and fished your phone out of your clutch that you saw all the missed messages and calls from Sihyeon. Fearing the worst, you immediately called her, “Sihyeon what’s going on?” Tonight had been stressful and things were only going to get worse. “[Y/n] you won’t believe what I just find out. I was speaking to Jeonhan about your situation and he said he would investigate it. Well, he dug around, and you’ve been blacklisted by Kim Communications. That’s why you can’t get a job.” It took all of your will power in that second not to scream, rage, or break down into a fit of tears. “Sihyeon I’ll have to call you back.” You didn’t even wait until she replied, simply hanging up. The sob that had been latched in your throat since this morning finally escaped and you broke down, falling to the floor.

If you could turn back time and never have met them, you would. If you could turn back time and never had agreed to become their sugar baby or even going on that stupid trip you would’ve. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, and you would have to live with the consequences of your actions. It would be so much easier to crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep, but you had already gotten out of that phase weeks ago. Plus, you would be damned if you gave them the satisfaction of seeing you broken without them. You willed yourself to stop crying and opened your phone once again, going straight for the bastard’s contact. He might have blocked you, who knows, Jimin was the pettiest but Taehyung wasn’t too far behind apparently. Not only had he fucked with your feelings, but with your livelihood and that was not acceptable. Nor would you take it in stride. Despite being older it seems Taehyung couldn’t take the high road.

Y/l/n Y/n: I know what you did.

Kim Taehyung: Well if it isn’t Miss Independent.

Y/l/n Y/n: This is serious Taehyung. Why would you do something like this?

Kim Taehyung: Do what? ;)

Y/l/n Y/n: I’ll sue you for defamation of character.

Kim Taehyung: You don’t have the money to do that.

You threw your phone against the pillows and watched it bounce back onto the mattress. Taehyung had always caused your blood to boil, but instead of passion, all that you felt was pure hatred. But why? Taehyung had once offered you a job at his company, as his secretary of course. He would often joke about the rendezvous the two of you would have while the rest of the office remained oblivious. Most of the times you would shoot down his ideas, telling him you didn’t want to get a job simply because you were screwing the boss. Sometimes though you would entertain his delusions. Teasing him about this or that: anywhere from getting him coffee in the mornings to quickies during the break. Taehyung never seemed to understand that you were joking, however. It got to the point where he nearly submitted a fake application for you, the only reason it didn’t happen was because of the trip the eight of you took and the aftermath of it. Your phone’s screen lit up once again, Taehyung having sent another message.

Kim Taehyung: Meet me for lunch tomorrow and we can discuss it.

Y/l/n Y/n: You wish.

You received an email from Paypal, the subject being a new transaction. Your curiosity was piqued, so you opened the app: seven hundred dollars had just been sent to you from Taehyung’s account. If you had been upset before that action was a slap to the face. A scoff exited your lips and you went back to the previous screen, typing away as fast as you could.

Y/l/n Y/n: Go fuck yourself Kim Taehyung.

Kim Taehyung: Why when I can pay you to do it?

At that point, no words could describe how you felt. You blocked his number, refunded the money, and turned off your phone. Today had been a long day and tomorrow would be even longer. You quickly changed into your pajamas and got into bed, turning off the lights in an attempt to sleep peacefully. That wouldn’t happen. Your brain was in overdrive: recalling and analyzing every single moment shared between you and the men trying to figure out where it went wrong. Where their feelings changed or where their obsession began. Why you had agreed on going on that trip and what you could’ve avoided had you simply never met Hoseok, to begin with. Eventually, you grew so tired that sleep came to you.

You didn’t know how long you had been asleep, but it felt like four-five hours maximum. Though your eyelids were heavy something willed you to wake up, an uncomfortable feeling overtaking your body. You flipped your body around, so you were laying on your back and facing your bedroom door. Slowly you willed one eye open, though your eyesight was still blurry you managed to make out a figure standing by your door. The sun hadn’t yet risen, so a greyish hue took over your room. “Sihyeon? Did you just get back?” You croaked, still trying to focus your eyes. Sihyeon didn’t respond and you frowned but were finally able to see who was standing there: none other than Kim Namjoon. Immediately you jumped back pressing yourself against the headrest while looking over to where your phone was charging on your bedside table. It was gone. “Your friend was a little intoxicated, so I offered her a ride home. I didn’t know you had switched apartments.” There was something so smooth about the way Namjoon spoke, he reminded you of a television villain. Someone who could describe the way he was about to murder your entire family but do it in the most charismatic and charming way possible. That’s how you knew you were fucked when he spoke like that.

Namjoon was waiting for you to respond but you refused. Knowing that one wrong word would set him off and he could either pounce on you or destroy your life with a simple phone call. Taehyung had already done that, so he didn’t need to do that much. Oh my god, Sihyeon. Your eyes dragged from him over to your door, he seemed to notice for Namjoon rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Don’t worry she’s just had a bit too much to drink. I found her stumbling around her boyfriend’s hotel lobby, figured she could use some help. He’s not her boyfriend. “Jeonhan isn’t her boyfriend.” You snapped back, you could see the anger in his face by the way his jaw tightened. His eyebrow-raising, before he decided to walk around the bed, taking a seat right in front of you. You tried to push yourself up against the headboard as much as you could, but he was still only at armlengths. “Where’s my phone Namjoon?” He shrugged as if he had no idea what you were talking about. “I hear you went to meet Seokjin yesterday and that you spoke to Taehyung. Why?” Of course, he would find out the men shared everything. Even things which shouldn’t be shared. “I went to Seokjin for advice about not being able to find a job. Imagine my surprise when I found out the reason was that Taehyung had me blacklisted for no fucking reason.” The words came out without much thought, your emotions taking control.

Truthfully you were seething but it had little impact on the man in front of you, who raised his hand to gently cup your cheek. “Taehyung’s hurt and so is Seokjin. That’s why they both acted the way they did. Both called me yesterday crying over how they treated you.” You shook your head, rolling your eyes knowing how much that pissed him off; You succeeded as his palm twitched ever so slightly. “If they wanted to apologize, they should’ve done so to me.” Why is he here? Namjoon was always the peacemaker, that was something you had noticed from the start of your relationship. He always wanted everyone to get along and be friends forever, but that wasn’t going to happen; especially not with them. “Princess, the real world is hard. I warned you didn’t I that it wasn’t a place for people like you.” God was he a great manipulator. Even now as he caressed your face and leaned in towards you, there was something inside you that wanted to believe him. That wanted to give in to him and the rest of them. It had been Namjoon that convinced you to be with all seven of them at the same time, it was he who assured you nothing bad would happen, you’d be damned to repeat the same mistake. “I can’t Namjoon. I won’t. I can’t just lie around and depend on others to maintain me. I can’t live off others like a leech.” They had once commented on how they loved your independence. How refreshing it was to be with someone who could stand on their own, even if you were taking money and gifts from them. They only loved your independence as long as you depended on them for it.

“You had no problem doing it for an entire year.” On the surface, Namjoon looked remarkably calm but underneath there was fire burning and you weren’t about to get caught in it. Gently you took his hand off your cheek, placing it on top of his other hand resting on the covers. “I think you should go, Namjoon.” When Sihyeon woke up you would explain everything to her. Explain why you had switched apartments and moved in with her. Why if she ever saw the men the smartest thing to do was avoid them entirely. Namjoon stood up, adjusting his blazer and cuffs as he looked down at you. “You’re right now isn’t a good time. I’ll be sure to come by later or maybe I’ll just tell the others to stop by see if they have better luck. Maybe Hoseok might convince you.” At his name, your eyes snapped up. He wouldn’t dare. As if he could read your thoughts Namjoon smirked before leaning over you again, putting his arms on either side: trapping you in. “I would. Even if it meant letting the others know where you’ve been hiding all this time. Even if it meant having to destroy your life just so you would finally understand. Or maybe I would do something far worse…” Namjoon pressed his lips against your forehead, before finally standing back up and leaving the room.

You stayed frozen in shock until you heard the slamming of the front door. Something far worse…Your eyes widened, and you bolted out of bed running straight towards Sihyeon’s room. When you tried to open the door, it was locked and wouldn’t budge. You tried throwing all your weight onto it, kicking it down, even calling for her was useless. Finally, after what seemed like forever the door gave in and the lock came unhinged, you threw the door open hoping for a miracle.

_Nine and half months ago_

The upper floor of St. Pierre’s had a private dining room fit with a balcony that could be rented out for special occasions. The minimum the party had to spend along with the rental fee was two hundred dollars, something that was nothing but change for the men you were accompanying. The view from the balcony was splendid getting to see all of the downtown area whilst none could see you because of how high up you were. The view wasn’t why you were out here, it was because you needed to step away and think about what had just been propositioned. This wasn’t what you signed up for and sure the pay would be more than what some people make in their entire lives, but at what cost. At what cost. “How are you holding up?” You couldn’t help but be startled, turning around to see none other than Kim Namjoon walking towards you. He smiled softly, “Didn’t mean to scare you. You’ve just been out here for a while and it’s worrying the others.” Even in the dark night and with the low lighting from the two lanterns secured on the balcony, Namjoon was glowing. He looked ethereal and you wondered how you had managed to attract someone like him. How had you managed to attract all seven of them was beyond you.

“I don’t know what to do.” You spoke softly, gazing out into the city. You felt his eyes on you but refused to meet them as you were far too anxious. “Say yes.” You chuckled but there was no humor in your voice, “I don’t think I can do what you all are asking me to do. Seven people? I barely know what to do with Hobi and I-” His fingers gripped your chin and turned your face towards him. There was something in his eyes, something you hadn’t seen before, he spoke so carefully and softly as if you were a child. “So say yes. You hold the reigns in the relationship. There’s nothing we can do without your consent first. Sure, you would be ours, but we would be yours.” He stepped closer until the two of you were pressed against each other. “Haven’t you ever wanted just for a second in your life to be cared for? No worrying about rent, taxes, not having enough money for food. You can simply focus on your studies and experience things others only dream of.” There was something about his words, they were a mirage. Something that couldn’t really be achieved, but you wanted it so badly. His tongue was coated in honey and you longed to taste it. Perhaps sensing your reluctance, Namjoon spoke again. “If you ever want to stop or get to a place where you no longer need us, they’ll be no hard feelings. We’ll part ways and leave sweet memories behind.”

Those had been the words that sold you on the entire idea. They had been whispered so seductively into your ear that you had taken them as facts when they were nothing more than baseless lies. They had lied to you to get you where they wanted. Now that you were no longer theirs, they would do anything to get you back.

_Present_

The monitor beeped constantly as it tracked Sihyeon’s heart rate and respiration. “[Y/n] I’m fine. You didn’t have to bring me here.” She hadn’t been fine. When you broke into her room, Siheyon had been passed out in a pool of her own vomit. Your first instinct was to check if she was breathing and when you felt a faint pulse, you immediately called the ambulance. Now she was awake and sipping on some Gatorade to help with her alcohol poisoning. You could see the embarrassment on her face, Sihyeon wasn’t an avid drinker nor did she mix drinks. “I honestly don’t know what happened after I left Jeonhan’s room. It’s like I blacked out or something.” Truth be told, you should’ve told Sihyeon everything that had happened once she woke up, but you hadn’t. Not to protect Namjoon or anything, but because Sihyeon was clearly not in the right state of mind and she was the type to overreact: drive over to all their companies and set them ablaze whilst screaming out of a megaphone – overreact. She needed to heal and not stress over your troubles which only seemed to worsen as time went on. Jeonhan had contacted Siheyon and said he would visit when his lunch break rolled around, Sihyeon had groaned when she realized it meant he would see her without makeup.

“Sihyeon, you’re in a hospital. I’m sure he isn’t expecting you to look like a supermodel or anything.” You rationalized as you braided her hair, she had begged you to claim it ‘looks like a rat’s nest.’ Some color had finally returned to her cheeks and the doctors had said that once the alcohol level in her blood had dropped, she could return home. There had been some judgment on their faces when they noticed her appearance but had quickly changed their expression when you pulled out Jeonhan’s black credit card. There isn’t a thing money can’t buy, well except for love. Sihyeon had received top-notch care and had even been placed in a private hospital room instead of the beds down in the emergency wing. “I hope he doesn’t think this happens all the time. He knows I don’t drink a lot.” Sihyeon played with her fingers anxiously, in her line of work opinions and reputation were everything. If Jeonhan grew bored he could toss her aside and simply find a new sugar baby to satisfy his needs, Sihyeon was beautiful so it's not like she would have trouble finding someone else to maintain her but Jeonhan was her favorite thus far. “Of course, he does. Don’t stress just don’t tell him about the alcohol poisoning and say he tired you out so much you passed out. That’ll boost his ego.” He might not entirely believe her, but it wouldn’t matter. “I’ll keep the doctors out of the room, okay?” You finished up her braid and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “Thank you, [Y/n]. You’re the best.”

A knock on the door caused you to help Sihyeon adjust her gown before speaking out, “Come in.” When you had first met Jeonhan you hadn’t been too sure of him, the man looked disinterested in just about everything. All of that changed whenever he looked at Sihyeon his eyes would fill with joy as he stared at her, the same happened when he walked into the hospital room. The man headed straight for Sihyeon taking in her appearance, before placing a rather large bouquet in her hands. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Nicknames were a must, Sihyeon had once told you first names were too intimate. That’s why it always surprised her when that was all the men would call you by unless you were in trouble. “[Y/n].” A raspy voice spoke out and you turned back to the door to find Yoongi standing there. Jeonhan finally acknowledges your presence, more like nodded at you and turned back to Sihyeon. “Yoongi-hyung and I were supposed to have lunch, but I wanted to see you.” Sihyeon giggled in childish glee. A part of you finding their interaction sweet, while the other part of you knew it was all pretending.

You had been so wrapped up in the two ‘lovebirds’ sitting on the bed, you failed to notice Yoongi had approached you until he grasped your hand. “Can I speak with you?” Yoongi was never awkward and always had a mask of nonchalance present on his face, now he was the complete opposite. Yoongi seemed fidgety and uncomfortable, in his eyes you saw deep frustration and desperation. “Fine.” You excused yourself from the room, going out into the hall waiting for Yoongi to join you. Instead of stopping right beside you, he kept walking heading towards the end of the hall. You debated on whether to follow him before deciding it was best to get these things over with. It was when you passed a phlebotomist pushing a trolley filled with needles that you remembered. How long has he been clean for? Yoongi had begun rehab right before you had parted ways with them, that would explain his behavior. A pang of guilt hit you as you finally met up with him. He still looked the same though the bags under his eyes were more prominent and he seemed more on edge; either cause of the drugs or you. Maybe both.

“How have you been Yoongi?” He simply snickered at your question, his tone entirely sardonic. “How do you think I’ve been?” Despite being an addict, Yoongi always looked impeccable. Even now when he seemed to be at a breaking point, he still managed to exude power. “I’m sorry Yoongi.” You were sorry, you hadn’t been the cause of his problems, but you had contributed to them in some way. Yoongi simply stared at you intensely before he swooped down pressing his lips against yours. Your first instinct was to pull away, you couldn’t once you tasted the salty tears on your lips. Yoongi kissed you for another minute until he finally pulled back, the tears had stopped but his eyes were swollen and red. “You said you would never leave me and you did [Y/n].” It was as if someone had plunged a knife straight into his heart. “I couldn’t stay when me being near you was making you worse.” Yoongi had taken a hold of your arms and was shaking violently. “So what you use me and get to toss me aside when you don’t want me?! I won’t let you.” The melancholy in his eyes had been replaced by wrath, his hands digging into your skin too harshly you knew there would be bruises. “If you don’t come back to me, to us. I’ll make sure everyone finds out the kind of person you are and not just you, I ruin Sihyeon’s life as well. No one wants to be dating a whore and I’m sure Jeonhan will drop her the moment he finds out everything.”

Finds out what? You frowned and there was confusion evident on your face, at which Yoongi only smirked. He leaned into your ear and whispered what it is he had against Sihyeon, your eyes widening in fear. “Unless you want to drag your friend down to where you are, you do well to remember your place.” He released you and quickly walked away, leaving you to spiral in the corner of the hall. Your life was falling apart bit by bit and there was nothing you could do about it. A dry heave left you as Yoongi’s frame slowly got smaller and smaller. You glanced around until you noticed a bathroom sign only a few feet away, you practically ran to it. Closing the door behind you and locking it, you stared at the mirror. Your face was devoid of color, eyes wide and fearful, you hadn’t realized you were crying until you saw the tear streaks down your face. Hesitantly you took off your sweater only to see large hand marks on your biceps, where Yoongi had grabbed you.

_Seven Months Ago_

Yoongi was always careless with his strength leaving your body riddled with bruises and tonight would be no different. You were thankful that winter had rolled around, and that wearing scarves or turtlenecks was acceptable, as he was sure to leave a large bruise on your neck with the amount of pressure he was applying. The two of you were naked on top of his custom queen bed, the headboard crashing against the wall mimicking Yoongi’s thumping into your core. You moaned his name which only served to encourage him more, his pace becoming quicker. “Y-yoongi p-please.” The man had spent all afternoon teasing you, taking you to the edge only to never allow you the bliss of coming undone. “Fuck. Do you know what you do to me? You’re better than anything out there [Y/n].” Yoongi was beyond high, his pupils completely dilated and pulse racing. A part of you knew it couldn’t be weed that he was on, but you knew better than to question it. What Yoongi did with his life was his business, you knew your place. “Fuck [Y/n]. Where do you belong? Who do you belong to?” At this point the two of you had become completely erratic, biting and scratching at each other in the name of lust.

When you didn’t immediately reply Yoongi applied more pressure on your throat, making it difficult to breathe properly. “I belong to you Yoongi. I belong underneath you.” He wasn’t satisfied. Yoongi raised your leg placing it on his shoulder and began to grind against you from a new angle, one where he was constantly hitting your g-spot. “Who do you belong to?” A guttural groan exited his lips, as Yoongi tried his hardest not to come. Not until he was sure you knew the answer. “Yoongi, S-seokjin, Hobi, Namjoon, Jimin, Kookie, and Taehyung.” The names escaped your lips as a mantra of sorts, your abdomen beginning to tighten once again. “Yoongi.” You whined, he silenced you with a kiss. “Come with me. You can come, baby girl.”

_Present_

“Hello? Miss? Is everything alright?” The pounding on the door awakened you from your thoughts. Splashing some water on your face, you pull a smile on your face and exit the bathroom. A concerned nurse standing in front of you, you apologize and head back into Sihyeon’s room finding her alone toying with the flowers on her lap. “Where did you go to?” She asked, a smile on her face. Jeonhan made her happy, you had never seen her as happy with any other client of hers. “I spoke with Yoongi and went to the bathroom. Sorry, I took long.” You shrugged, trying to hide the uneasiness in your voice. “Nah don’t worry. I’m glad the two of you are still friends since you broke up.” You hummed in agreeance and chose to walk over to the chair left of the hospital bed. The moment you sat down all of your muscles relaxed, it felt as if you had run a marathon. Your legs as heavy as lead and your heart even heavier. “Oh, that reminds me Jeonhan said Yoongi forgot to give this to you.” Sihyeon produced your phone from under the flowers, it was exactly as you had left it the night before. “How did Yoongi even have your phone?” You struggled to get the words out, “I accidentally left it when I met Seokjin.” Sihyeon frowned, “Didn’t we talk on the phone last night?” Oh, so that you remember. “I was still with Seokjin when you called. I left in such a hurry, I must’ve forgotten it.” You smiled sheepishly. Sihyeon seemed doubtful but decided to leave it at that.

The best thing about Sihyeon was she didn’t hover. That’s why she had been the perfect roommate when you suddenly had to move apartments. She had never questioned why you did what you did or how you ended up finding out she had the same ‘profession’ as you. Sihyeon never commented on the paranoia that hung on your shoulders. All she asked is who you had been involved with and displayed recognition upon learning you were the girl who swept ‘the seven’ off their feet. You had waited until Sihyeon drifted off to sleep, to examine your phone. The device was off, so you pressed the power button and waited until your lock screen popped up being horrified when it did. A picture of you decked out in lingerie smiling back at you. Immediately you opened up the gallery only to find similar pictures and even more proactive ones; hundreds flooding the storage space. You looked back at the lock screen picture, analyzing it trying to remember when or who took them. The hardwood floor underneath something you immediately recognized, along with the fuzzy carpet you laid on. Once the phone established a connection again, a text message came in from none other than the photographer himself.

Jeon Jungkook: Let’s talk.

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yeoldontknow · 3 years

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🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel!

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that.

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates.

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow.

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!

#writer conversation tag

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newcaptainofsquad9 · 4 years

Text

So, When Can We Tell The World?~Min Yoongi x black! fem! reader {5}

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Summary: The Grammys have finally arrived and you’re trying to navigate the red carpet yet the interviewers keep asking questions about you and Yoongi. You answer them to the best of your abilities with annoyance, along with confusion, until Yoongi and the boys arrive. The red carpet goes by with ease soon after, until the rumors of you and Yoongi reveal themselves, leaving you in a heap of emotions while leading up to your performance with the man you love.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Idol-Verse, Smut (none in this chapter)

Word Count: 3, 002

Author’s Note: Finally the Grammys chapter! This is where things come to a head guys, I’m so excited for you guys to see where this goes! Also, I’m sure you guys know that the BTS members speak primarily English in this series, but that does not mean they don’t still sing mainly in Korean, so expect stupid ass questions from interviewers so, yeah. Also this is fictional! However some of these people may act in real life is not a reflection of this fic! Anyways, hope you enjoy!

I can’t help but smooth out my golden dress for the umpteenth while the black Mercedes comes I’m in comes to a swift stop in front of the Staples Center. The palm trees always make me giddy, I never really notice Los Angeles until now, it matters a lot. I can’t help and wonder about Yoongi for the third time today(something that got my stylist and manager in a heated mood today). He seemed so timid during our phone call a few nights ago, his energy is usually pretty chill, I tend to be the one to freak out.

“Uh, Y/N?”

I break from my thoughts to turn to my brother Kevin, along with his puzzled stare.

“You ok girl?” my manager Katie asks.

I nod sharply as the photographers start to swarm around the car. They don’t get far as a few men in tuxes step towards the car to help me out.

“Oh, she’s just thinking about someone,” Kevin teases, “her Suga bear-ouch!”

I elbow him in the ribs, his teeth gritting at the discomfort. Good.

“He’ll be all right,” Katie reassures, “you’ll perform with him, but I want to make sure you’re good. Are you ready to get out there?”

The nerves bundle up inside me abruptly, the tux suited men grow closer as I try to breathe in and out to ease my racing pulse.

“Look, don’t worry about Yoongi,” Katie says, “just do a kick ass performance and don’t worry about the nomination, this’ll be helpful for the both of you either way.”

I nod while I smooth down my dress for the final time.

“I still think you guys will win,” Kevin declares, “if you get snubbed again-”

“You won’t do a thing,” I deadpan.

Kevin’s face flares for a moment, yet it disperses as quickly.

“Good luck big head,” he teases.

“Thanks,” I say sheepishly.

“Let’s go then,” Katie giggles.

The tux men open the doors for Katie and I, allowing the camera flashes, the roar of the crowd and buzz of interviewers to have sound all at once. Even the carpet below my wedges scream with a red that can’t help but be noticed. Fans, along with interviewers chant my name, Yoongi’s as well. I only smile, wave and eventually pose for the cameras as they all snap together and a few get a complete 360 shot.

“Y/N! Y/N! Over here!”

I peer pass the barricade that keeps the fans out, pass a heap of camera men and hell of a lot of wires.

The voice who calls me over is none other than Ryan Seacrest in a plain blue suit and blonde hair that’s obviously dyed. I get an uneasy feeling down my spine, I remember how uneasy Yoongi was when we talked the other day. I don’t doubt Seacrest was one of the interviewers who gave him and the guys an obviously awkward and rude time. Katie’s hand on my lower back forces me to jump slightly. There are cameras on me, I need to focus.

“You ok?” she asks, “you see Seacrest right?”

I nod as Seacreast puts on a toothy grin and walks over.

“I see him, he just, well he’s Seacreast,” I say.

Katie giggles.

“I’ll be watching the entire time,” she says, “if it get’s too awkward just look my way and I’ll intervene.”

I mouth a thank you and stroll over to Seacreast, his smile expands once he gets a quick once over of my dress.

“Looking glamorous this evening Y/N,” he gushes, “how are you feeling tonight? you’re nominated for Song of the Year, how do you like your chances?”

I put on my best smile before answering.

“I’m just honored to be nominated,” I say, “just being about to share this experience with Yoong-Suga!”

Seacrest grins, his eyes narrowing at the mention of Yoongi.

“So, you and BTS’s Sugar huh?” he asks, “how close are you both going to be on that stage tonight?”

I hold in my urge to roll my eyes at his blatant mispronunciation. Why is he saying this? How close?

“What do you mean?”

Seacrest chuckles.

“You two aren’t partners?” he asks.

His smile drops, he’s genuinely confused and so am I. I glance over at Katie, who shrugs as well before pulling out her phone.

“Yeah, on the stage we are,” I say, “I hope Suga can tell you more about it when you get a chance to interview him.”

Seacrest nods.

“Thank you Y/N, hope you enjoy the carpet.”

...

The same questions happen throughout each interview:

Do you get nervous when you’re up there with him?

Was Suga the one you were genuinely attracted to first?

How was it like working with one of the BTS members?

Nothing about the song. An album. About the actual music with Yoongi just a false attempt at asking if we’re dating. I try to shut them down as nicely as possible, keeping the conversation on song writing and my performance with Yoongi later. Katie continues to send me weary looks though, playing it off with a tiny grin once I raise a question.

“What is it?” I ask, “do you know why they’ve been asking me those ridiculous questions?”

Katie opens her mouth, then shuts it as she peers around me.

“Ah, Y/N uh-look!” she shouts, “there are the guys!”

As soon as the words left Katie’s mouth the crowd, along with the photographers turned their attention towards the right. They always stick out: Namjoon because of the long mullet he’s been growing out; Taehyung with his curly medium length dark hair and smoldering eyes; Jimin with his honey colored hair; Hoseok and that smile that could heal the world; Jin with his looks that could make anyone stare and Jungkook sporting his confused, yet cute expression. Then there’s Yoongi.

I rarely seen him dressed so formal in person. His hair seems lighter, a more blonde shade under the lights, his tan turtle neck fits him well too, along with his blazer. And the earrings, my God.

“Y/N, focus,” Katie giggles in my ear.

I nod and strut the red carpet, expertly posing for photos while the guys approach my way. Out the corner of my eye I notice Jungkook’s face light up, similar to that of a child’s. I tilt my head over for the photographers, swiftly making eye contact with him, then Jimin and Yoongi. He flashes a short gummy smile and it takes all of my willpower not to sprint over and kiss him. I just want to hug him, I need him, but I can’t go to him. At least not right now. That’ll just add fuel to the already vast wildfire that these interviewers have sparked.

Jungkook taps Namjoon on the shoulder as he nods in my direction. Of course Namjoon’s all dimples as he curves Ryan Seacrest’s attempt at interviewing him and the guys.

“Y/N! Over here!” he calls.

I turn fully towards them to wave and grin.

Namjoon’s still dimples city as he gives me a quick hug and puts up his enclosed fist. Jimin hides a giggle behind his own fist as Yoongi rolls his eyes and Taehyung shakes his head lovingly. I accept the dap wholeheartedly, Namjoon’s smile only grows more.

“How have you been? Excited for tonight?” he asks as he guided me towards the middle of the guys.

“Yeah,” I lie as I get in between Jimin and Jin to smile for the camera.

Jimin places a comforting hand on my shoulder while Jin rests his own on the other.

“You sure?” Jin asks, “you seem a little out of it.”

I only smile and pose with all seven of them.

“Just the interviewers,” I admit, “they’ve been bringing up ridiculous dating rumors between Yoongi and I.”

Jin blinks. Jimin sucks in his breath before gripping my shoulder a little tighter.

“Ah, you know how the American interviewers can be,” Jimin scolds, “you’re around them more than we are.”

He giggles nervously, glancing away from me to wave at the crowd. Ok, weird.

“Y/N!Y/N! Can we get just you and Suga?” one of the photographers asked.

Jin and Jimin skitter from me as Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok do the same for Yoongi; they stand a little ways back. Our eyes finally meet for more than a moment and it’s hard. Hard not to blush around him like it’s the first time we saw each other, especially since we aren’t alone with the world watching us.

“Hi,” Yoongi whispers.

“Hi.”

We embrace, his turtle neck cuddly enough to melt in, yet I don’t. The embrace doesn’t last long, he pulls away quickly for the both of us. His hand goes to the small of my back as we both smile then wave to the photographers and fans.

“Y/N! Suga, could I get an interview!” someone shouts, “please!”

Our heads shoot up towards a black woman with medium length hair clutching a microphone. She grins brightly and waves, forcing me to put on a small, strained smile. The hand on the small of my back moves up and down tenderly as Yoongi leans down to whisper.

“You all right?” he asks, “did something happen?”

“I-” I pause to look up at him, concern etched in his face.

This is our night, our chance to maybe win, perform for our fans and just enjoy ourselves. Sure the questions are annoying, but that’s part of the game.

“Y/N?” he asks.

“I’m ok,” I say, “let’s do an interview, yeah?”

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but I can see underneath that this conversation will be held later. And I’m fine with that. He only nods and holds his arm out, confusing me for a moment.

“I would hold your hand, but you know.” he gestures to the camera flashes that make him grimace.

“Right,” I say.

We approach the interviewer who fixes her hair and motions to the camera man in front of her.

“Tiffany from Access Hollywood here!” she greets, “how are you guys enjoying the carpet so far?”

“It’s been great so far,” Yoongi says before turning his attention to me.

“Yeah, it still seems like a dream being here,” I say.

Tiffany grins.

“The both of you are nominated tonight for your song All The Crown Players, how are you guys feeling about that? Excited?”

Yoongi’s gummy smile returns.

“Of course, I feel like it’s a long time coming,” he says, “I’m glad I get to share this experience with Y/N.”

He looks to me with those eyes, that look as if I’m the most special thing in the world. It’s real no matter how we try to play for the cameras and I feel guilty for not acting on my feelings. It’s for the best though, for the both of us. At least that’s what I thought.

“Y/N?” Tiffany asks.

“I agree,” I say, “I always wondered if I was ever worth of being honored here and here I am. Yoongi being able to stand with me is enough, he’s making this experience so much better.”

Yoongi’s grin widens as he nudges me with his shoulder and hides his grin.

“That’s so wholesome,” Tiffany gushes, “what can we expect from your performance tonight?”

I open my mouth to answer yet close it immediately. Yoongi catches this and goes to answer for me.

“It’s going to be worth the wait,” he says.

I nod sharply as Tiffany smiles.

“Great, well I’ll let you both enjoy the carpet,” she says, “good luck guys.”

“Thank you,” I say as Yoongi bows and waves.

Maybe things will get better before it gets worse.

...

I stay close to Yoongi and the guys as step through the hallways backstage. My anxiety flares once more eyes land on us, camera crew, performers and artists alike gawk. I always seem to forget how popular the guys are. That must be it, right?

“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” Yoongi whispers, while not breaking his stride with the guys and I, “you’ve been forcing smiles all night.”

I hide my state of anxiety with a false giggle.

“It’s nothing Yoongi,” I lie, “I-I’m nervous about our performance.”

Yoongi smiles, reaches in to take my hand but stops himself. I understand why, considering that we’re still around potential cameras and other American artists.

“Don’t be,” he says, “I’ll be right with you. Is that really it?”

I look up and his stare is intense. His brows furrowed down in a deep set frown that I’d consider adorable even in our given the current circumstances. His deep brown pupils soften as he rubs my arm tenderly.

“Tell me Y/N, please,” he begs, “I just want this to be an amazing night for the both of us.”

My heart sinks at his saddened tone.

“I do too, it’s just-I-I don’t want it to ruin your night,” I say.

Yoongi flashes that gummy smile again.

“Try me.”

Ok, well I did warn him.

“The interviewers, well besides the one we just had, they’ve been very forward to say the least,” I say.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow.

“How so? You do know that they ask us the most bizarre questions too, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, but they’ve been asking a little too much about me and you, nothing of it happens to do with the song or our nomination.”

Yoongi chuckles.

“Let me guess, they asked what it’s like working with the ‘phenomenon known as BTS?’ or how we made a song in English and Korean,” he teases.

“They asked if we were dating Yoongi,” I say.

Yoongi freezes, his face blank as the guys walk on ahead of us.

“See this is why-”

“Y/N, they’re only rumors, right?” he asks, “nothing more?”

I nod, a little confused at Yoongi’s question.

“I guess so,” I say, “God, I told you this would ruin everything.”

Yoongi shakes his head, giving me another gummy smile as he moves to touch the small of my back.

“It didn’t, Y/N. It’s just, what I did might ruin everything.”

“Ruin what?” I ask.

“Yoongi, Y/N?”

Both of our heads snap up to see Namjoon and his deep, perplexed stare. I glance past him to see Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Hosoek and Jin giving us weary stares as well.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask, “did something happen?”

Namjoon purses his lips and look’s to Yoongi who shifts uncomfortably as he shoves his hands into the pocket of his blazer.

“It’s nothing Y/N,” he declares, “just a couple of nasty tweets, I guess some of them got into the interviewers heads is all.”

I open my mouth to question him, yet we get interrupted by one of the staff members.

“Y/N, Suga,” he says, “you guys are performing a little earlier than planned. Your stylists are waiting, all the way down the hall to the left.”

My chest tightens at the news. Earlier? We didn’t rehearse for earlier. Yoongi must have saw my panic as he leans in to put a hand around my shoulder and squeeze me gently.

“Got it, thank you,” he says before bowing slightly.

Once the staff member disappeared I breathed in deeply.

“All right, let’s go,” I declare.

Namjoon looks to me then to Yoongi before back to me.

“Y/N, you don’t look too fine,” Namjoon noted.

I bite down on my lip to try and cease the tears, thankfully it works. I’m not sure if Yoongi notices but he holds my hand this time and nods sharply at Namjoon.

“I’ve got her, I promise.”

His reassurance to Namjoon is solid, putting me at ease even though it’s not directed at me.

“Good luck you two, we’ll be cheering for you,” Namjoon says.

I hug him tightly and giggle as Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok, Jin and Taehyung join in, engulfing me in a group hug. My anxieties disperse at their praise, along with any doubts I had about Yoongi.

...

Performing with Yoongi made me feel ethereal. His verses and rhymes put a fire under me, made me keep up with him, when I felt overwhelmed Yoongi was there. I didn’t even notice the song stopped as he grinned brightly down at me with sweat pouring down his face while breathing heavy. I can’t help but smile back and stare up at his lips. Yoongi must have noticed and mirrored my movements to get closer. The roar of the crowd forces us to stop however, thank God. We both turn back towards the audience to wave and bow with our warm hands wound together.

“You were amazing,” Yoongi whispers.

“So were you,” I say.

“C’mon.”

I giggle as Yoongi takes my hand and leads me backstage.

“Wow the chemistry you guys carry can’t be replicated,” a staff member says, “no wonder you guys are an item.”

Yoongi goes rigid, I pull away from him.

“N-No I ah, we aren’t dating,” I let out, “you shouldn’t really believe those interviewers.”

The staff member frowns.

“Really? I thought it was official, hm,” he says before disappearing to his duties.

Official?

“Y/N-”

“What did he mean by official Yoongi?” I ask, cutting him off.

Yoongi’s eyes sweep to the floor.

“Y/N I-I fucked up,” Yoongi whispers.

His eyes grew soft again as he bit down on his lip.

“What is it?” I ask, “what the fuck did you do?”

Katie bursts in along with Namjoon.

“You guys did great- Y/N? Yoongi?” Katie asks.

Namjoon gets in between the both of us.

“What happened?”

“Just tell me the truth Yoongi, what. Did you do,” I whisper.

Yoongi purses his lips before he speaks.

“Bighit had to put out an official statement,” he pauses before continuing, “about the both of us.”

My chest pangs as my entire body begins to tremble.

“W-Why would they do that?”

Yoongi swallows hard.

“Because I revealed it on V live, on accident,” he says, “I-I promise I didn’t mean to.”

I only nod and step past Namjoon and Katie, ignoring Yoongi’s pleas. I need some air.

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anntidote · 4 years

Text

:get to know me

what is this?

❁ a bunch of questions if you wanted to get to know me. they’re random facts, tid bits, and stories behind how i got to love bts, writing, and what i do beside writing these fics.

story behind your handle?

❁ you can call me: ann.

❁ the meaning of ‘anntidote’ is a mix of my pseudonym and a play off of the word, ‘antidote’, which is defined as a medicine.

❁ as most of the work i write is mature and/or explicit, this blog acts as a ‘cure’ for these thoughts.

how did you start writing ff?

❁ i started writing fan fiction in 2014. i was apart of a minecraft fandom, and wrote fan fiction for certain YouTubers in that friend group. then, i switched fandoms, in writing for an australian pop-punk band. afterwards, leading to where i am now- which is writing for: international kpop sensation sunshine rainbow traditional transfer usb hub shrimp, BTS. i grew up on anime due to my older brother. hq is no exception to this creative outlet, and i couldn’t be happier.

❁ just because i started writing in 2014 doesn’t mean i wasn’t an avid fan of other things. in no particular order: i liked o2l, had a swift phase, made rubber band bracelets, and loved musicals (still do).

how did you start liking bts?

❁ the prior group i liked (no hate towards the group, as i still love their music) lacked fan involvement and fresh frequent content. it’d been over a year since they’d put out something new, and i needed something else to listen to. i knew my friends were really into k-pop, so i thought- fuck it- why not? i approached them and they gave me recommendations based off of my music taste (heavy hip-hop, pop, and alternative rock). i listened to the music without prejudice and found myself enjoying it. i remember listening to the cypher series, save me, and simply being amazed.

how did you start liking haikyuu!! ?

my best friends and others in my friend group kept nudging me to watch. it took awhile but i eventually gave in, especially since i liked knb a lot. i’m truly glad i gave it a chance, as i kind of fell for tsukki the minute i saw him— he took none of the freak duo’s bs. and it was history from there.

how did you know your bias was rm?

❁ summer of 2017, lying on my couch and scrolling through YouTube, i spotted jimin’s ‘serendipity’ mv had just dropped. although i had been already listening to bts for a couple weeks before that, ly:her (DNA era) would be my first comeback. i fell in love with serendipity’s lyricism and looked into who wrote it. i fell in love with namjoon- right then and there. (note: this was when namjoon was still called ‘rap monster’ and everyday, i thank him for realizing that that name would not age well, and consequently changing it.)

❁ i always tell to new armys, “you don’t choose your bias. your bias chooses you.” although that sounds insanely cliche and stupid- i find it to be true. upon hearing namjoon’s voice for the first time, i did a double take. he knocked me out of my seat and didn’t need to apologize. there’s so much i could gush in adoration toward that man, but let’s move on.

besides writing, what are your hobbies?

❁ i major in audio technology and am enrolled in a mixing and mastering course. i aspire to work in the music industry, and i write songs in my free time. as i’m training to be a mixing engineer/producer, writing songs leads me to writing other ideas- which is one of the reasons why i’m here! c: i’ve also been singing my entire life- which may or may not attribute to the fire. being an army has only reinforced my dreams and expectations ten fold.

❁ when i’m not burying myself in work, i’m either cooking, catching up on my shows, or sleeping. there’s no in between.

- cooking is therapeutic for me. (wrapping meat dumplings, frying chicken or potatoes, or emulsifying pasta sauce.)

- other than bts variety shows, i watch a lot of anime. i love sports (haikyuu & kuroko no basket, etc), classics (sailor moon, fairy tale, fruits basket, dbz, naruto, etc.), and others. i love romance, comedy, and competition.

how do you get inspiration?

❁ by doing nothing. and i know this sounds stupid, but it’s the truth- whether you like it or not. namjoon also partakes in this stupidity (he’s said this in an interview). i could be avidly searching everywhere for what i need to write next, or i could kick back, relax, and let the thoughts come and go as they please. i simply try to enjoy the tasks i do on the daily, and notice the small things that lead me on to creative trains of thought. (ie: seeing a plane fly overhead, and thinking of seatbelts.) “i do nothing for twelve hours... but when i get to the studio, my mind clicks.”

trademark facts about yourself

❁ i love salty chips. specifically, spicy ones. hot cheetos are glorified in this household. due to covid, i haven’t been able to have them- and i swear, i’m hitting withdrawals. (takis, sweet & spicy doritos, hot cheetos, kettle cooked potato chips, etc.)

❁ my favorite color is red. it used to be pink, because i wanted to spite people on the color’s duality. but this was the color of one of the boy’s i liked- so i changed it. even though i got over the boy, i still liked the color because of how empowered it made me feel.

❁ i’m introverted. very much so. it’s kind of crippling... my out of pocket posts may lead you to think otherwise, but no. trust me. i just seem extroverted at times because i get really passionate about what i do. (my MBTI is ISFP-T.)

❁ i don’t like coffee. perhaps i’m too young, but when i write, i love drinking hot chocolate- even in the summer.

❁ i’d fallen in love with music before i stanned bts. i’ve always participated in music and have been captivated by how singers tell stories without borders. bts empowers change and reinforces the voice of youth, that has been shunned so many times. i’m so happy to support their cause.

message to those who read

❁ thank you for taking the time/having interest in what i post. it truly means a lot to me. i hope you have a beautiful day or night, wherever you’re from. i love you guys, and i love namjoon too- haha.

#misc:aboutme #anntidote:organizes

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anotherkpopvictim · 4 years

Text

Seven is Our Lucky Number - OT7 Story Chapter 1

Chapter 1: When Namjoon met Yoongi

A/N: In honor of our boys’ 7th anniversary, I started writing this seven-chapter story. It’s my first chaptered story I’ve ever written, so I hope it’s okay.

The first six chapters are going to be focused on a pair of the members reflecting on meeting each other for the first time (kind of). You’ll get what I mean. The first pair is Namjoon and Yoongi.

The last chapter of this story (Chapter 7) will be the only one with all of the members in it at one time and there will be some fun times too ;)

Relationship: BTS X BTS (Namjoon X Yoongi focused)

Rating: G

Words: 1437

Fluff

PLEASE NOTE: Though this story is canon compliant, it is fictional. When I use the tag “canon compliant” it means that the story takes place in our universe where BTS are idols and a lot of their characteristics are similar. However, of course, the rest is pure fiction. I wanted to put this note up so you can understand my version of “canon compliant” as I’ve seen sometimes there can be confusion about it.

Italics = flashback

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Namjoon was normally pretty good at not letting his producing keep him locked up in the studio. Unlike Yoongi, who often went into “hermit mode” (as Jin put it) and could hide away in his studio for days, or Hoseok, who had short bursts of inspiration, Namjoon was consistent during the writing and creating process. Slow, but sure.

The upcoming album involved more of their input than usual and as the last album that was going to release before they began their military service, it was needless to say that it already meant a lot to them even so early on in the creative process. They wanted to put their all into it, put all their emotions into sharing their true feelings about life, and showing how truly grateful they were for their ARMY.

Maybe that was why Namjoon found himself with the biggest case of writer’s block he’d ever experienced.

This was the third time that week that Namjoon spent hours upon hours holed up in his dim studio, only to come out with just a few more words written than when he’d begun.

He already knew what he wanted to write a song about - or rather, who he wanted to write a song about - but Namjoon suddenly couldn’t think of the words to write.

The seven members had always had a close relationship, one that was closer and significantly less platonic than what the public saw. They loved each other. The love hadn’t come easily, as anyone would expect of a seven person relationship, but they had been going strong for nearly four years.

Namjoon smiled to himself as he thought of his preteen self who couldn't even comprehend the concept of love, who didn't know anything even close other to it other than a few crushes he’d had in grade school.

Namjoon thought about the first time he’d met Yoongi - the first of his future boyfriends to come into his life.

July 7, 2010

Bang PD had called Namjoon into his office and of course, Namjoon was thinking the worst. Perhaps he’d done something wrong and now he was going to be kicked out of the company before the path to his dreams could even be paved.

He sat across the desk from the CEO, confused by his friendly smile. “Remember I told you that I was trying to put together a group and I wanted you to be in it?”

Namjoon blinked, “Yes, sir.”

“Are you still interested?”

“O-Of course.”

The older man’s grin brightened, “I have found another member for your group.”

“Really, another member?” Namjoon broke into a grin himself, overwhelmed with excitement and relief now that he knew he wasn't going to be kicked out.

“Yes, his name is Min Yoongi, he’s a year older than you.”

“I don’t recognize his name, so he isn’t a trainee yet I’m guessing?” Namjoon made it his mission to know each and every trainee that came through BigHit’s door. Though he was certainly closer to some of them than others, he knew everyone’s name, age, and what their passion was.

Bang PD nodded, “He came in for an interview for a producing position here and I couldn’t help but notice his talent for rapping as well. It took a little bit of convincing, but I asked him to give it a shot for a few months, test out the life of a trainee, and see if he liked it. I told him that if he decided he wished to just be a producer, I would happily still offer him that position.”

Mentality like that was one of the reasons Namjoon tried to hard to become a trainee under BigHit. Bang Sihyuk had at first come across as kind and wise, and he had only been living up to those words every day since.

A knock on the door took their attention away from the conversation.

Bang PD smiled, “That is probably him.”

As the older man went to open his office door, Namjoon prepared himself to meet the person who he could potentially be in a group with.

“Come on in,” the CEO invited, gesturing to the person that came in to sit down in the chair next to Namjoon.

Namjoon took in the boy who was wearing loose jeans and a black sweater. His dark hair was mostly hidden by his light gray beanie. Namjoon could tell that the boy - Yoongi, was it? - was a bit shorter than him and slender. He had sharp eyes that pierced into Namjoon’s soul, sending a feeling like nothing he’d ever felt before go over him.

The younger felt his heart begin to race, his hands clamming up. Namjoon watched as the other looked him up and down just as he was doing the same.

Despite the sharp eyes, the other boy had a softness about him. He was really cute. A bit stoic, but cute.

“O-Oh, hello!” Namjoon gave a jerky bow, “I’m Kim Namjoon, it’s nice to meet you.”

The other gave him a slight smile, “Min Yoongi. I look forward to working with you. Bang PD-nim has told me a bit about you, but I hope to get to know you better, as well.”

Namjoon felt himself forcing the blush away from his cheeks.

Bang PD saved him by giving the two a rundown of their new schedules and such. The boys kept glancing at each other through the meeting, so it wasn’t much of a surprise when Yoongi stopped Namjoon with a call of his name as they were heading out of the room.

“Wanna get some coffee?” Yoongi asked.

And it’s not like Namjoon was going to say no to him.

So now they were sat across from each other in the nearby cafe that sold coffee for a good price.

Namjoon, who was slightly socially awkward, looked around him at the decor and tapped the edge of the ceramic mug holding his latte. He tried to think of something to say to ease the silence. “So...PD-nim mentioned that you were interviewed to be a producer?”

Yoongi nodded as he sipped at his steaming americano, “Yeah, I, uh, I never really pictured myself in the spotlight but PD-nim thought I would be a good candidate for the group.”

“Have you ever performed in front of anyone?” Namjoon asked curiously.

“Yep, I was in an underground rap group for a while back in Daegu. Turned out some of the older members didn’t like me coming in and trying to write lyrics so I decided to leave.”

“Well, their loss then,” Namjoon replied, an angry little pout on his face at his acquaintance's misfortunes in the past. “If PD-nim offered you a producing position, you must be pretty talented.”

Yoongi’s lips quirked up in the most genuine smile the younger boy had seen from him yet. It made Namjoon’s heart beat just a little faster. “Thanks, Namjoon-ah. I really hope that this group works out better for me than the last one.”

With the ice broken, the two of them spent hours sitting there at the cafe just chatting about the things they had in common - rapping, producing, thoughts on life. They were so caught up in their conversation that they didn’t realize the time until the cafe owner stopped by their table to let them know that she was going to be closing up in a few minutes.

They parted outside the cafe, awkward yet hopeful smiles on their lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the dorms,” Namjoon said.

Yoongi scrunched up his nose in a cute annoyed look. “Ugh, right, I almost forgot about that. If I’m moving in, I guess I’d better finish up my packing.” He gave a tired sigh but smiled when he looked back at Namjoon. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Namjoon-ah!”

Back then, Namjoon never could have imagined that that day would be the start of something so big, so important to him. Nor could he have imagined that Yoongi would become the first of his boyfriends.

July 7th, 2010. The day they met. The seventh day of the seventh month of the year.

Namjoon scoffed, unbelieving of the coincidence in the realization he was having.

The number seven had always been important to them as they had seven members in the group and they’d gotten so close that performing with anything less than that felt completely wrong. But, perhaps the number seven was more intertwined with their journey than they truly realized.

Namjoon had been waiting all day to be hit with some inspiration for some lyrics, a melody, anything. Now, he’d found that inspiration.

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A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter! I know it was a little short, and the next five will also be fairly short as well. However, you can look forward to the seventh chapter, as the plans are for it to be long and filled with smut ;)

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akira-seijuro · 5 years

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The moment of Fall - Part 1

I am trying to listen to serendipity right now by bts. And it’s still trying to stream on my music player. By the way, do you know what serendipity means? Let me Google it for you.

Well, it means ‘accident, happy accident, chance, happy chance,’ a fucking fluke?! I swear, those are the actual Google results. Why does it sound similar to me at all? Because something happened to me recently. I fell again. I didn’t want to use the word 'love,’ because it is too soon to be so much. But the word 'like’ seems to be pretty small. I blushed the entire day, spent my work in the poetry of my head, not being able to think how to troubleshoot a device because of my heart, yes not my brain this time, my heart. I’ll tell you why later. So, yes my heart could not let my brain tell the steps to my colleague who wanted me to help him troubleshoot. He was staring at me in blank, because he thought I was way too dull all this week. Well, my dear colleague, in my defense, I met the guy only twice and one of them was when it was my mission to unleash all the anger at him and the other was when I was so pissed at his best friend who was my first love and also at his other best friend, who was/is my best friend as well who ditched me that day.

The first time we met was when we were crossing paths at the gates, we stared at each other properly, probably the only time in those 4 years of college. A 3-4 second stare and no shit happened then. I always was intrigued by him and I wanted to talk to him, one, because he was close to 2 people whom I love the most and two because everyone told me he was a difficult person to talk to. It just seemed challenging and I’m really good at such things. The next time was when we sat down for the same interview. The thing is, he didn’t register in my head properly back then, because I was too focused on winning against him in the group discussion. They made 2 groups of the group discussions, both separate and unlinked. Destiny put us in the same group. I was sitting on the right side of the table (extreme bottom side) and he on the left side of the table (non-extreme top side). So it’s easier to say, diagonally towards the corners, but shit didn’t strike before. I was like motherfucking shit, this guy had to be in this group, I’m gonna get him because I was too pissed that he was close to Loki and I’m not. This is an exaggeration. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just didn’t want him to and most of his wing-mates sort of hurt me in one or the other way. So it was just my defense mechanism to get ready for the battle.

If you’re wondering Loki? Yeah, let’s call my first love Loki, my best friend/brother Oikawa (I’m a big fan of Haikyuu and Kuroko-no basuke : Japanese manga/anime - I used to be like Akashi from kuroko nobasuke - then turned to Kageyama - then turned to Iwaizumi from haikyuu, hence Oikawa, the best friend). Let’s call the man in the focus Chris. You’ll understand why in the coming words. I never once thought I’ll write about Chris and the encounter with him but you know life, it just simply sucks. Now I can’t find him on Facebook, probably he deactivated. So I went through Loki’s profile, the irony, but couldn’t find a single thing related to Chris on his wall. First I’m only going through to know his birthday because it has always been a compulsion for me to know the birthdays of people who impress me, I don’t even know why. A few days back, his FB profile picture was Red John smiley. I love Patrick Jane, Simon Baker was amazing playing that role. Are you fucking kidding me?! This guy is actually like 40% Patrick Jane. 40% because Patrick is so cool and positive on the outside and you know, smart too. Well, anyway I asked one of my close friends to check for his dob on LinkedIn because he will get to know if I went through. Let’s see. I don’t think there will be any luck though. So, anyway, I really-really-really- really-really-really like this guy, like Carly-Ray-Jepsen’s song 'I really like you.’ As I am writing all this, it’s becoming easier and it’s sort of like going away I guess or it’s becoming stronger. I can’t differentiate anymore.

My bro, the Oikawa kept telling me that he is the perfect dude for me, I was like dude fuck off. I don’t like any of your wing-mates. Falling for one, turned everything upside down, the next one is not going to be from your wing. And a few days back before it all started, he told me he met a guy who said something that mindfucked him. He didn’t want to tell me because he thought it will mindfuck me as well. I said try me. Then Oikawa said 'The guy I met told me that he will never have kids. The world is so fucked up.’ After 2 days of my clever bro’s contemplation, he asked the guy why? The guy said that world is so fucked up, the government, people and all - something on that lines, he didn’t tell me the exact conversation, so why would you bring kids into a world like this. Guess the first thought in my head, 'He is my fucking Thor.’ Okay, brief flashback - my bro promised me he will find someone for me and I told him even thor had to prove himself to lift the Mjolnir - the hammer. So basically I became the Mjolnir and my the one would be thor. Anyway, I refrained from telling him the first thought in my head and told him, dude, it makes sense obviously. What’s the big deal? Why would you bring people into a world like this? He was woah, this girl isn’t as mindfucked as me. Well, Oikawa, I’m a dark person who understands it better than anyone amongst your circle, Chris is exceptional though. I had a buddha phase in my life where I saw suffering, death, and loss of so many. Then I could not control it anymore and I told him, dude, you met my fucking Thor. Please don’t tell me he is the gay dude from the office because I’m straight. He asked me if I really wanted to know who. I said 'yes, of course.’ He said 'the thor is Chris.’

Fucked. Psyched. Fucked. I fell off as if there is nothing to hold on to. The moment of fall. Yep, that’s when I have decided what I was going to call this writing. Another heartbreak because this guy doesn’t like or can’t to talk or meet people. I don’t know for sure. That doesn’t even make any fucking sense. All those counseling sessions, medications have convinced me that it’s the fucking pheromones that made me fall for Loki, but I didn’t even ever say hi to this guy. Everything had a logical reason behind it until now. After almost exactly 4 years, since 2015, this is the first time it didn’t make any sense at all. I fell for a guy whom I barely saw, like a fictional personality. But he is fucking Real. All the bloody lump of flesh is real. But as my bro said 'that fucking guy is a chuth and the beautiful possibility might be ruined because of him.’ I am being fair now, he is not at all like Kise Ryota from kuroko nobaske, who is so outgoing and swag. Loki is little like Kise. This guy is totally different from Kise if at all he is -infinity% like kise. Strange but known coincidence, he plays basket-ball. I don’t like to use the words 'good, God and happy’ anymore. So I’m gonna say 'sound, nature to assign all the unexplanatory blame, blithe/gleeful.’ I felt so bad that nature is such a bitch it had to take away thor from me and it doesn’t even give me back a captain America. Because of the way we both were born, we can never meet. Ever. The next morning I called Oikawa, chanting fucking asshole while waking up and told him how disturbed I was, I am for Chris. It felt like another heartbreak, the moment I came to know it was him like someone cut my heart into a perfect 2 using scissors instead of a single stab to stop it. I used to have 1% belief when my bro used to tell me he was perfect and 99% bitch please face. Now it became 100% with another zero towards the right at the end. But goddamn, this is not happening. It’s s reality fiction. I called my girlfriend and I asked her if I can come over. She invited me to stay over for the night and I got mindfucked. She was like why dude? Did you forget me or something? Why are you so shocked. It felt so new having someone be so nice to you without even asking after a long time. She asked me to go meet Oikawa in the middle of the night. Even though she was sleeping, she woke up at 11.45 to let me out. 2.20 to let me in and 7.45 to let me out again. Such an awesome friend. I met Oikawa and we talked random stuff like he says. Then I came back and slept beside her on the floor even though she gave me a comfy bed to sleep in. I needed someone, I wouldn’t have minded if it were a hungry tiger sleeping instead of her. But having her made me feel so gleeful that a cold floor felt more comfortable than a fluffy mattress.

I didn’t fall because he is Chris but because I came to know about the existence of a probable person who can understand the darkness with which I’m living in, the darkness that I am. I know all this is might as well just be an image in my head.

Either way, I woke up heartbroken and reasoned with myself on the way back to my place that I’m simply just too broken. So stop searching to trying to fix yourself Akira, you are only breaking yourself further in that process. I am a broken human. My own brain fucks me up, feels bad and tries to make up for it and realizes it has gone way too far and gives up on itself. I am that broken. I’ll probably never have kids too because I’m too broken to have them, not because the world is fucked up Chris. I would like to tell you something. The world is fucked up, but with one person to love and to care and to understand like how you’d want her to, the world is not just livable, its everything but unworthy. The words sad, grief, depression, anxiety would still be applicable, so will the words happy, enjoyable and amazing. I know I just said the word happy. You might lose that person whom you have found, she might die later, but I’m sure she will give you all that you need to be hopeful forever. Let me love you, you will know. Serendipity ends now. Thank you, Jimin Park, for that beautiful song.

But you won’t let me in Chris. So it’s all still broken for both of us. Because we both are broken by our own unloved lives, but I think if it’s our love together, it’ll be happily livable and hopeful. But I know the way we were born doesn’t allow it. All I’m saying is we can still change it, we can bear anything if we can choose. Even if it's your worst fear, it's bearable if you choose. The choice is yours.

If you guys are wondering whether my friend found him on LinkedIn, yes she did. But that fucking asshole didn’t mention his dob in bio.

#love #heartbreak #life #you broke my heart #again #serendipity

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coupsdecoeurs-blog · 6 years

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BTS : An Ode to those “Go too far shippers”

Note to self* : Things I'd like to say to BTS "go-too-far shippers" (the rest of you, you're doing absolutely nothing wrong and YOU WILL know reading me that you're not from that disgusting bunch, there will be no doubts, don't worry ! Innocent fantasy is harmless. THAT is not) :

Here's a list of what you have to be doing to be considered a "Go-too-far shipper" :

- FORGETTING that BTS members are REAL HUMAN PEOPLE BEING and not characters from a TV Show or a book or a fudging YAOI. Actually, I'm a hundred percent SURE that you're not new to that kind of fanatism. Let me make a wild guess here : Marvel Universe ? Sherlock ? Supernatural ? Shadowhunters ? Yeaaaaah you know who you are.

- Loosing your precious time editing super long videos to analyse and prove without-a-doubt-omg-you're-so-smart-and-insightful-you-must-be-an-INFJ that your ship is the realest of all ships. It's a freaking Zodiac Boat, it's sailing so fast ! You guys... are loosing sleep over some 1 second footage slowed to the infinite and beyond of member n°7's left eye twitching (but be careful, if you blink, you'll miss it !) when member n°5 looked in his general direction. That proves it right ! I'm telling you ! But... but what is that ? Another shipper used the EXACT same footage to prove that member n°5 is actually doing this to make member n°6 jealous ! Look look ! N°6's fingers moved... slightly when that happened.

You should actually try to watch yourselves on camera. You'd be shipping yourselves with your father.

Plus, this is so creepy guys, watching them for hours, trying to decypher their micro expressions, looking for a sign, omitting what you don't want to see because it's convenient. But you know what ? BTS members get itchy, think about the weather, are sensitive to noise, their crew facing them during interviews, making gestures to tell them "we're running out of time", they have food between their teeth, they get BORED because they don't understand what's being said during english interviews... a thousand stimuli that would justify their eyes twitching better than your theories ever could.

- Actually SENDING the links of your shipping videos, or even worse : pornographic fanart TO BTS via Twitter or else ! You know they are active on social media, your know they go to YouTube, Twitter, Instagram... Do you ever ask yourselves : "Did I go too far with this fanart of member n°6 and member n°7 doing anal ?" And then you put it ON THE FREAKING INTERNET !

Would you like it if someone draw you and one of your friend that you like ONLY as a friend because he is not your type (aka he is not a member of Bangtan) together doing graphic sexual stuff. These 7 men grew up together, are living together, are really close... Why on Earth would they want to see a drawing of themselves in a sexual situation with one of their bandmates. Why ? Think about it, try to have EMPATHY for once (you know, that thing you all think you have tons of), put yourself in their shoes, and tell me you wouldn't be bothered to come across such drawings of yourselves and... let's say your brother ? Your father ? Your sister ? Your best friend ? Your co-worker ? And on top of that, on your Twitter feed, for everyone to see. Wouldn't that be embarrassing ? No of course, BTS would be admiring the likeness, the finess of the details and the liveliness of the art. They are not human after all.

They're Idols !

- Linking EVERYTHING they do to your ship.

Do you think they are THAT single minded ?

That the only thing in their mind at all time is their "boyfriend/bandmate/that-guy-they-spend-their-lives-with-because-it's-their-job" ? Just to be clear... when you are in love (if you've ever been), do you stop LIVING when the object of your affection is not on your mind ? Is it always ? Do you forget your other hobbies ? Like, if all of you fall in love at the same time, will you stop editing those hour long creepy videos ? PLease, let me know, I know one or two dating app that would make tumblr and Youtube a better place !

BTS youngest member is 21 YEARS OLD. None of them is a prepubescent teenager with raging hormones, with no self control and with only making his "boyfriend" jealous as his goal for the day. Yikes ! Let's not forget they are Kpop idols, which mean they are hightly trained (conditioned ?) to control themselves, their emotions etc. to FOCUS on their job. And besides, do you really, trully believe they have nothing better to do during promotion ? Because, let's face it guys (and I know you'll not like this but brace yourselves) : BTS are ALWAYS doing promotion. They are never truly natural. I'm not saying they are not genuine, I love them as much as you do, and I'm respecting them as mu... wait. MORE than you do, because I'm not actively trying to shove a relationship in their faces while they are working their asses off all day long to offer me quality content, music, MV's, while also trying to live their lives.

Maybe that face twitching was sadness. But that doesn't mean it's because they fought with bae this morning.

- Making EVERYTHING sexual. That's it. This is the WOOOORST thing you do.

Exemple I : "Oh lord ! Member n°5 licked his lips. Totally obvious. He was thinking about member n°7, sending him signals. They are totally doing it tonight *insert the giggle of a pervert*

Exemple II : "Hhh ! Member n°2 gulped while looking at n°1. He is so thirsty today !"

Exemple III: " Wow ! N°5's hand is on n°3's shoulder. So erotic. He is actually so subtle, but they know eachother so well. N°3's in for it backstage !"

Exemple IV : "N°4 looked at n°6's lips ! I saw him ! It means he wants to kiss him ! I read it on an article titled "How to know if he's into you" from a... scientific magazine. About body language."

Exemple V : "His legs ACTUALLY twitched, he is such a hoe ! I'm sure he has a boner !" (Like guys, you think I'm exaggerating ? Think again.)

...AAAAaaand sceene.

Once again, try paying attention to every little move your body make during the day. Every time you lick your lips, every time you sigh. Every time your eyes land on a "so called" inappropriate place of your interlocutor's body (yeah ! I know you've been watching your history teacher's ass, you hoe ! Thirsty much ?).

Apply the same logic you do watching BTS members interact, and you'll be thrilled to know that you're sexually attracted to your dog. Congratulations !

- Calling them "hoes", "thirsty"... this is plain insulting. Why, just... why ? I have nothing more to say.

- Insulting and criticizing shippers that have a different OTP than you. Like, being verbally violent sometimes ... over a-freaking-fantasy of a couple that only exists in your sick mind ! LOOK AT YOURSELVES ! Look in a mirror !

You're the same ! All of you !

Why not put your microscopic differences aside, and celebrate what you have in common : CREEPINESS ! You are all so tolerent, accepting differences, bla blah blah... let's not break our own words and stick to your script, shall we ? Some other BTS fan is creepy, but not exactly creepy-like-you ? Let them be creepy their own way ! Your OTP is [57] ? Theirs is [58] ? Not a problem ! At the end of the day, it's all in your head ;)

- Talking about things you know nothing about, or very little. I've mentionned this earlier.

Are you Korean ? Do you have a Ph.D in Korean culture ? No ?

So please, stop talking about such things as "the use of honorifics", "skinship", "the way Korean think about same sex relationships", "compliments between males", "fan service"...

Like, seriously you hate on this heteronormative society that we live in, but you are interpreting every single thing BTS does the wame way you actively despise, ho-so-western of you : "They graze eachother's hands, they're gay ! Proof ! They call eachother handsome : Gay ! Physical affection : Gay ! Impressed by a muscular body ? Gay ! You trully are a product of this toxic society you despise. And btw, if member n°5 does a peace sign and tounge to someone (*cough* a fangirl in the audience *cough*) during a choreography, does that mean... that his boyfriend has in fact a vagina, and that he was doing it for him to excite him in secret code ? No ? Do I hear "fan service" ? I thiiiiiink soooo... But wait, does that mean... That in one way or the other, your simple logic doesn't apply to every situation ? (If you are interested to know, one of BTS members actually did what I've just depicted during a choreography on stage. One of my favorite fancams EVER.)

Anyway : You're not defending any minority behaving like that. You're just adding fuel to the fire. Am I insulting you yet ?

Do you have psychic abilities ? Are you Dr. Cal Lightman from Lie to Me ? No ? So please, stop making assumptions about one facial expression or the involuntary twitching of leg muscles.

Are you a pervert ? Are you dangerously-obsessive-but-lying-to-yourself-by-telling-you-this-is-romantic ? Are you living by proxy ? Are you so focused on the sex life of 7 men - that would find that extremely horrible if they knew you btw - you completely forget to live your own life and experience things ? Yes ? Oh.

Oops!

Let's recapitulate :

- Forgetting that they are real people, and not fictional characters but treating them as such, because hey ! They're famous, they must WANT the attention.

- Editing creepy videos, and actually believing you're raising awareness with your borderline psychic skills at decoding body language. Seriously, you're so sensitive, I'm amazed you're able to have friends, because you see everything : that is your curse.

- Thinking every single member of Bangtan is a single-minded teenage boy in love, incapable of controlling his impulses. Of course he'll waste his time during an interview to try and make his boyfriend jealous. How fun ! Making the person you love jealous. Haha. So intelligent and useful. Just like in that Tv Show you love. You know, the one with the toxic relationships and immature characters !

- Sending fanart to BTS. They're probably used to it, so why not taking your chances and trying to get their attention ! They might even like the picture of themselves giving a BJ to their bro. Aegyooooo !

- Making everything sexual. Not something unhealthy to do. Not at all. Again, so fun !

- Calling the artists you love cute names such as "hoe". Adorable.

- Discriminating shippers that aren't sharing your OTP. You're a pot. They're a kettle. But nobody's black, oh god no !

- Using Google to validate your theories, be it for body language or Korean culture. Everybody reacts the same way to the same things, true fact !

Anyway, that's all for today ! Please feel free to comment, and tell me how much you think I'm right, that you too have been aggravated by those "Go-too-far shippers". That you haven't been fast enough either to buy a ticket to the concert in your country, so you would love it if you could go on tumblr to find new pictures of Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook because you love them all (ALL 7 of them, thank you) but without accidently reading a post about "n°6 and n°7 sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G". If you are tired, like me, please share this post and comment below ! Even I you know, just like I know, that it wll not whange annyhing. But Damn if it felt good writing it !

Thank you !

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redundantmidlife · 4 years

Text

Writing exciting erotic stories gets great followings. Just don't tell your other half.

I've read lots on how to drive views onto blog posts. None mention erotic stories, but I believe they could show the way to increase visitor numbers. I've always struggled with followers. I'm no Jesus. My kids have more followers than me on every form of social media and all they do is post photos of pouting and feet. I've tried hard to gather friends, followers or stalkers, but have been left languishing in the grey nether regions of the web. It was nether regions that got me thinking. I always remember when I worked for BT most network traffic came from porn sites. We pretended it didn't for the good of the company image, but supporting and supplying IT to porn sites was lucrative. Porn, or erotic stories, whatever people may think, generate a following that far outstrips any business site . I remember at work how excited I got when my first corporate video got past 1,000 hits. The porn-site equivalent would have generate a hundred times that without drawing breath. Or an erotic gasp. Admittedly, not with me in it. No one would want to see that.

In the interests of science, and researching blogs and site visitors, I decided to investigate further. Obviously this wasn't about videos or pictures. That would just be smutty. I ruled those out after a cursory glance (or two) What interested me however was erotic fiction. Look at 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and the interest that generated. There was no great plot apparently, but it fed an audience hungry for sex; as long as it was done in a less seedy way than your average porn site. You have to wonder, had E.L. James written a book on any other topic, would she have got the same level of interest or publicity? And also, if people around the country rejoiced in reading an erotic story without being worried about work checking up their search history. Erotic stories with tens of thousands of views

Literotica - more than 50m hits each month Erotic literature it turns out is also big business. Averagely good stories on many websites frequently get tens of thousands of views. Just visit Literotica if you don't believe me (or want a break from this). Apparently 53m other people are doing just that each month! Imagine that. For this post I'd be pleased with ten. Maybe if I introduced some sex or innuendo there may be more interest. That could be a big one for me (ooo-er). Possibly if I wrote this the same post from a different perspective, but managed to get it posted on a porn site I'd actually have some social media influence. I could do that. A blog about being redundant midlife, with interview stories and midlife issues brimming with sex scenes. My tale of role playing would genuinely involve uniforms, whips and well-toned recruiters. Would I get more visitors? Yes, without a doubt. Would it be frowned upon? Of course. I'm sure I'd be castigated for peddling porn under the guise of a serious blog. A bit like this post in fact. I'll be interested to see if I get more visitors due to the words sex, porn and erotic literature featuring heavily. Happy household or hundreds of followers? So if you want tens of thousands of hits, erotic stories are the way to go. Just don't tell your other half you're writing them. You'll either be accused of exposing your intimate bedroom secrets, or more likely voicing a unspoken fantasy with your neighbour. Neither are conducive to a happy household. Maybe I'll just stay happy, and hopeful that the ten or so people who read this will be of a better quality than the tens of thousands I good have got writing porn. Read the full article

#blogfollowers #eroticstories #malemidlifecrisis #middleagestories #socialmediafollowers

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minyoukyung · 4 years

Text

BTS Imagine #14: Quarantine (Part 1)

Word count: 2,039

Members featured: All

Description: The COVID-19 quarantine has been affecting everyone across the globe, but in South Korea, being quarantined with the global stars known as BTS is an entirely different experience, in many unexpected ways.

"Coffee," Yoongi murmured sleepily. "Need coffee."

I slid his usual black ceramic mug across the table towards him, the delicate tendrils of steam floating upwards. He inhaled slightly, taking in a whiff of the freshly brewed drink before sipping tentatively.

"Mmm, thank you," he said softly, already lifting the mug back up to his lips.

I smiled at him. He was always so cute in the mornings.

Quarantine... was not ideal, to say the least. Even though we were past what was considered the worst of it, I hadn't been able to go back to my apartment for weeks. I had been advised to avoid contact with my house mates, so I'd been staying at the dorms, which was a little much sometimes. Living with seven boys part-time pre COVID-19 had been one thing; living with them full-time was another thing entirely.

Of course, I could never be upset about being able to share small, quiet moments like this with Yoongi.

I sat down at the table across from him, my own cup of coffee in hand. His eyes were still blurry with sleep, his nose scrunched cutely as he continued to sip at his coffee. He extended his hand wordlessly and I accepted it. Our hands were almost exactly the same size, which meant that our fingers laced together effortlessly.

"Tsk tsk, Youkyung," Seokjin reprimanded teasingly as he walked into the kitchen. "Big Hit doesn't pay you to hold Yoongi's hand."

"I thought that's exactly what I get paid to do?" I said, feigning confusion.

Yoongi smiled shyly, his cheeks turning pink over the brim of his mug.

"Are we going to get started on breakfast?" Jin asked, changing the subject with an expression of mock disgust on his face.

"More coffee," Yoongi mumbled, holding out his now empty cup.

"Do I look like a maid to you?" Jin demanded.

I got up from the table, patting Jin's shoulder as I passed him on the way to the coffee pot.

"Noona, you baby him too much," Jimin commented, wandering in still wearing his soft Chimmy pajamas. "Baby me instead."

"Like she doesn't always baby you, you brat," Taehyung teased, he and Jungkook following behind him in their own Tata and Cooky pajamas.

"Does everyone have BT21 pajamas but me?" I complained, envious.

"We can get you some!" Jimin promised immediately. "And then when we all have our pajamas, we can have a giant sleepover in the living room!"

"But whose pajamas would you get?" Hoseok wondered out loud, strolling into the room and the conversation casually. He was not wearing his Mang pajamas but I bet he had them in his room somewhere.

"Maybe Van?" I suggested. "Since Van doesn't really belong to any one member."

Namjoon sat down at the table, his hair still messy and his loose T-shirt wrinkled. He leaned forward on one elbow, hand cupping his cheek adorably and brow furrowed slightly.

"Who is your favorite BT21 character, noona?" he asked.

I froze.

None of the members had ever been inside of my room at my apartment, but if they had, they would have seen shelves lined with RJ products, as well as the RJ standing doll that I kept on my bed for cuddling purposes.

I wasn’t about to admit all of that.

The boys were all staring at me, Namjoon in particular completely oblivious to the chaos he had unknowingly caused inside of my head, so I tried to keep my expression neutral.

"Noona really likes pink so maybe Cooky?" Jungkook guessed, although his expression looked a little smug.

Truthfully speaking, I had at least one thing of every BT21 character, but all of my RJ possessions far outnumbered the rest. The only other character that came close was Shooky, out of loyalty to Yoongi.

"I think to be fair, I should just get Van pajamas," I said evasively.

"I think you're hiding something," Jin said shrewdly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I think you should get started on breakfast, Kim Seokjin," I told him flatly.

"What am I--"

"'A maid?'" I finished his question. "Yes, absolutely. Would you like me to tie your apron for you?"

I took his apron that was hanging on one of the cabinet knobs and stood on tiptoe to pull it over his head. It was pink and had the words “Please do nothing to the cook” stitched on the front.

"Make omelets, everyone likes those," I said softly as I tied a pretty bow in the back.

Jin’s face was bright red, all the way to the tips of his ears. I squeezed his arm and then walked back to the kitchen table where Yoongi was staring at me strangely. I made a face at him and he made the face back.

"Oh no, the twins are at it again with their silent communication," Hoseok said jokingly.

Yoongi and I both turned to look at him with our mouths stretched into a line, making identical expressions just to fluster him.

"What's on our schedule for today?" Namjoon wondered.

"Studio," I answered. "For the Japanese album."

BTS didn't stop during quarantine. They'd had to cancel their tour but they had decided to make use of the time they now had to work on new music. I'd already spent a good amount of time in Genius Lab with Yoongi while he worked on lyrics. It was one of the places we could go for the time being, but as the weeks dragged on, it was already becoming as confining to me as the dorms.

"You can all take your lessons during your breaks from recording," I continued. "I finished the lesson plan last night."

Namjoon nodded in affirmation and Hoseok chirped out an “Okay!” Yoongi and Jin both hummed to indicate that they understood; and Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook all shot me a thumbs up in unison.

Trying to squeeze English lessons into their hectic schedules was a bit easier now, but they still had to be done in small increments. Jungkook always tried to drag them out, eager to join Namjoon during interviews, but I had been specifically instructed not to make their lessons too lengthy. They had to be designed to fit into whatever free time they had, so their progress was not as fast as any of them would have liked.

While Jin got started on the omelets the maknae line went to go get changed; and Hoseok and Namjoon relocated to the living room to talk about lyrics for the new Japanese album. Yoongi and I remained at the kitchen table, drinking our coffee and whisking waffle batter.

“So are you going to tell me why you were flirting with Jin earlier?” Yoongi asked me nonchalantly as he plugged the waffle maker into the outlet on the wall closest to the table.

“I wasn’t flirting with him,” I disagreed. “I was teasing him. He should know what it feels like from time to time, since he does it to everyone else.”

“It looked like flirting.”

“Well, it wasn’t.”

Yoongi shrugged, pouring batter into the waffle maker as if it didn’t really matter to him either way. I huffed audibly and he smiled, even though his attention was on making sure the batter spread evenly.

Life during quarantine had become pretty stagnant. I didn’t want to say that I was bored, because being the English tutor for the biggest group in the world could never be boring. I also didn’t want to say that I was fed up because there were certainly worse people to be stuck at home with. It was just difficult not having space to breathe sometimes. Everywhere I went, one of the boys was there. I missed my apartment, my room, my things--everything that made it my space.

As I watched Yoongi manning the waffle maker diligently, I felt a little guilty for wanting separation. He was my favorite person in the world and I had so much of his attention. I tried to push the intrusive thoughts out of my mind, taking a sip of my coffee to ground myself again.

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook came back, dressed in casual attire yet looking so effortlessly beautiful, it was unfair.

“What do you kids want on your waffles?” I asked them.

The room was immediately filled with the sounds of five different voices shouting their favorite toppings. I rolled my eyes. They really were like children sometimes, children I attempted to raise even though we were close in age. I left Yoongi at the table to mind the waffles, grabbing a clean cutting board and knife so that I could start chopping up fruit.

“Smells good, Jinnie,” I complimented, inhaling the delicious aroma of garlic, butter, and cheese.

“Of course it does,” he huffed. “I am an amazing chef, after all.”

I shook my head fondly, concentrating on the fruit I was cutting up. On anyone else, I would think that Jin’s behavior was insufferable, but he always got away with it. It was just the way things were.

Without tour dates and flights to factor in, my daily life had changed a little bit more than the boys’ had during this quarantine. I powered through entire books like it was nothing, something that I hadn’t done since I had been in university. I played Just Dance Now pretty religiously, my choice of fitness activity since I hated working out. I took on kitchen duty much more often just to have something to do, although I didn’t mind since I loved cooking; and cooking with Yoongi and Jin was always an enjoyable experience. I started writing again, fictions that sprung from the depths of my imagination and formed brilliant universes of their own. I worked on getting better at photography. I focused on taking care of myself.

All those things were good, healthy, productive... but I went from the dorms to the Big Hit building to Genius Lab and back to the dorms again, day in and day out. It wasn’t bad, but it was... something.

I sighed.

Jin heard me, looking over at me questioningly. I shrugged it off, sliding the neatly cut fruit off the cutting board into a glass bowl with my knife. I placed the cutting board and knife into the sink to wash later and took the bowl of fruit to the table.

The stack of waffles in front of Yoongi had grown. I ruffled his hair affectionately with my free hand and he leaned into my touch.

What a softie, I thought.

A few more flips of the waffle maker later and breakfast was ready. I helped Jin plate all the omelets, which were filled with gooey melted cheese, fresh spinach, truffles, and grape tomatoes cut in halves.

“Yay! Thank you for making breakfast, hyungs and noona!” Jimin cheered, clapping his adorably tiny hands happily.

A chorus of “thank you”s floated around the table.

“You kids better be grateful,” Jin said, no real firmness in his tone.

As the eight of us sat around the kitchen table--an extra large dining set that the company had purchased just to accommodate all of us--I felt the familiar warmth in my chest that I usually felt whenever I looked at my little family. I soaked up the feeling, reveling in the fondness and love I had for each of them. I couldn’t keep being selfish, wanting space from them when there were no better people to be quarantined with.

Yoongi, sensing my emotional state, reached for my hand under the table, squeezing gently. I squeezed back, smiling at him. I slung an arm around Jungkook, who was sitting on my other side. I looked around the table.

“I love you guys,” I told them.

Immediately, a round of “aw”s met my ears and before I knew it, I was crushed beneath the weight of seven boys who had latched onto me in a giant group hug.

“We purple you, noona,” Taehyung said earnestly.

I felt tears well up in the corner of my eyes. I knew how much the phrase meant to him and how much it meant coming from him.

My family. My perfect little family.

“Alright, get off, you’re squishing me!”

#timelineb

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dasirunrunrun · 7 years

Text

Good Grief - Chapter 3

Jungkook makes a habit of showing up drunk to a nearby flower shop. Bad puns and fluffy pining ensue.

Or, a college!au in which BTS are all frat boys, Namjoon is a science club president,Jimin just wants a good party, and Jungkook is hopelessly fascinated by the girl who takes care of flowers in her free time.

author's note: aaaand we’re back folks, with chapter three! it get’s a little dramatic this time around, so just a fair warning!! i hope you enjoy it, and once again comments, tips, and critiques are all appreciated!!

disclaimer: all mentions of the university in this fic are purely pulled from my ass— I don't claim to know anything on a deep, spiritual level about university clubs, classes or frat parties. Side characters, that aren't specifically Bangtan Members™, are all made up and therefor fictional .

words: 5k

If you’d prefer reading on AO3 the link is here

I glanced up at the seemingly endless stacks of write-ins, wishing for them to somehow disappear before my eyes. It was chaos in the offices of the News Club. Almost straight after the Fraternity article had been released, there had been letters upon letters of indignant students. Most of them claiming that the article was unjust: an uncalled for attack on Fraternities. Others had deeper questions— wanting to know which House specifically could be held responsible. In other words: it was a fucking mess. Mary, though, having been the main editor and writer of it: was taking most of the heat. And it was quite obvious, with her wearisome behavior as of late.

Mary skidded into the room - weary eyes jumping to every object seen. “El, I’m so sorry.” She sounded panicky, a signal to the rest of the club that she was close to self destruction.

“Mary-” I tried to cut in, using my softest voice, but she wasn't’ having any of it. Instead, she only started bustling around the room more, doing nothing productive, but still working around.

“We’ve definitely lost her, boss.” Jona’s solemn voice cut in, and when I turned to look at him: he was hosting the biggest shit eating grin. “Call her Leo Dicaprio because this girl's sinkin-”

“That’s enough, Jona.” I interrupted, watching as he tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe to pestering grin off his face. He leaned his hand back for Finn to give it an appreciative smack. And once again in my editing career, I wondered if those two possessed any sympathy at all.

Mary continued to bustle around- picking up a letter, cringing, and then repeating with another as she tried to open every single one.

“I should've never suggested this stupid article. I've put the news club in lots of trouble, oh have I ever.” Mary was babbling, hands shaking as she opened letter after letter. I watched hopelessly, letting out little sounds of interruption here and there. Any time she got a little too self degrading. Mary blamed herself for the backlash of the article, though in truth, every member played a part in publishing it. Not that Mary would ever recognize that. The thing was, when Mary went into panic mode, there was no stopping her. She put everything on herself, and tended to cut everyone out. That is, except for Seokjin. He was, seemingly, the only one who could calm her down.

I threw my rubber band ball at the side of Seokjin’s head, causing him to glance at me — looking a little betrayed. I raised an eyebrow back at Seokjin, and mouthed the words ‘go help, dickwit’ at his passive face.

Seokjin gave a secretive smile, and raised his hands in defeat as he moved towards the other girl. I took in the scene, watching as he rested a calming hand on Mary’s shoulder, before mumbling something softly to her. Probably - ‘follow me’ since the two of them left the room, shortly after.

Finn gave out a low whistle— and I turned my attention towards the noise, already ready to bully him back into place. “I don’t want to say it but —” He glanced over at Jona, who returned a shrug, to which Finn also shrugged back. The two of them sat shrugging back and forth at each other for a good minute, Jona’s face passive, while Finn looked scandalized.

“Boys, please.” It was no time for me to be cracking up at their strange antics, even though they looked so funny. “Start helping with some of these letters.”

Finn broke off in a light, breathy chuckle, while Jona remained a passive face- clearly acting still for the jokes. “C’mon, Cobra Commander, it is her fault.” He sounded set in his opinion. “It was her idea in the first place- we all told her it was a bad one.” He cleared his throat. “Which is why she should be the one to deal with these letters.”

Jona gave an agreeing nod, his face finally normal, if not a little serious.

I raised an eyebrow at the two boys, more disappointed than anything else. “You’re going to blame her?” Even I could hear the beginnings of venomous anger seeping into my voice, which explained why both of the boys held such defensive poses now. “When you two were the ones urging her to turn it into the drama piece it became?!”

“No one told her to go around attacking random people,” Jona’s own irritated voice shot back at me. “Honestly, it’s no wonder she’s made some enemies, she basically defamed the most popular boy at our university - with no hard truth. Or have you forgotten about this?” He tossed the latest print my way, a paragraph dedicated to one singular person highlighted in bright yellow.

Though one boy stands out from the rest, Jeon Jungkook, member of the Sigma Chi fraternity. Who has made a rather wondrous show of partying ,not only on weekends, but throughout the week as well. Going as far to even skip classes. And seeing as though he is, somewhat, of a celebrity at our school- its no wonder that he’d be the one to start this binge drinking trend...

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose with one hand. This part Mary had done solely on her own, without even consulting anyone on the team before publishing. A real shocker to us when we found out. She had been rather upset with how Jungkook had acted at the interview, and even more put off by how easily affected she was by his looks. Basically it was an unwarranted vendetta.

When Finn spoke again, it was in a much more diluted tone, his voice only holding confusion. “So tell me why we should be responsible for her mess.”

I glanced up and swallowed the insults that wanted to fly out of my mouth. Collecting my things in my arms, I stood up and moved towards the door, trying to think clearly with all the emotions running rampant in my head.

“Boss-”

I couldn’t make out who had called after me, didn’t have the energy to find out either. “When you can tell me why you should defend a friend,” I shook my head, unable to comprehend it, “then I’ll come back.” I glanced back at the two of them - expressions open. “I mean, really, you two act like you’ve never made a mistake before.” Without waiting for a response, I opened the door and left for the library.

track: there’s nothing holdin’ me back - shawn mendes

Walking to the library was, in normal circumstances, an enjoyable route where I could spend the time in my thoughts, but now- with the absolute lack of anything to take my mind off the situation: it made me cringe to arrive at the library with absolutely no plan in mind.

Normally, this was my time to be studying with Namjoon. Or, moreover, getting tutored. Kim Namjoon was a Senior, and head of the Science Club, but he was also my savior. He had tutored me in almost every science course that I struggled in (which was most of them), and for a cheap price too. A true angel sent from god.

I had canceled our usual session in favor of the “Newspaper Club emergency meeting”, but standing here now, I wished desperately that I could call Namjoon back and beg him to give me the original tutor session. I sighed deeply, moving through the rows of empty desks - lined by bookshelves. The school library was massive; extending three floors, each with study sections. In my first year of university I used to pretend the library belonged to Hogwarts - and that I was in some sort of wizarding school.

The memories pulled a light smile onto my lips, making me wish to be back in the beginning again. I quickly pulled open my books, not wanting to get distracted by the nostalgia that clung onto my thoughts.

Studying Chemistry even with a tutor was difficult. Studying Chemistry by myself made me want to fling myself into the endless abyss of space. Nothing made sense. Nothing. I stared at the equations, uselessly, cursing the College planners for making this a “core” subject. When was I ever going to need to balance an equation while filming movies? My head hurt, and the endless sets of letters and numbers that stood before me didn’t help.

“Ugh,” I dropped my head uselessly onto the desk in front of me, feeling like death would be a more welcome addition to this day. There were four beats, four beats, of holy silence. Right until the chair beside mine squeaked against the floor; indicating that someone had occupied the place next to me. Right next to me. Out of all the empty chairs in the room, this one. How tragic.

I probably could've lifted my head, probably should've, but no part of me wanted to show my face to anyone. So I hoped, that whoever was next to me, wasn't offended by my lack of acknowledgement.

“Having a rough go of it?” A familiar drawl came from the ‘intruder of personal space.’

I almost wanted to groan at how obvious my life seemed to playing out. I lifted my head slightly, resting my chin on my arm, to look at Jungkook. He seemed to be mirroring my position - head resting against his bent arm, his hair fluffy, looking masterfully disheveled. Somehow, he always managed to look like the personified version of a god. I wanted to smack him for it.

“So is that what you do? Trash someone in an article and then nap off the bad feelings?” He held a smile, looking like the concept was hilarious— but his words made me cringe, and Jungkook took definite noticed of my distaste.

“Jungkook—” I tried to start but when I returned my sight back to him, he was fixing me with such a concentrated look that I immediately felt uncomfortable. I sat up abruptly, and somehow he took this as an invitation to invade my personal space. Because, moments later, he leaned in- ridiculously close to me.

Basically stretched across my lap, with elbows resting on the desk, Jungkook was peering down at my chemistry book with a look of intense interest. Or at least, I assumed, considering all I had a glimpse of was the back of his head.

“All your equations are unbalanced.” He commented, voice sounding much more like a professor than the frat boy. “Did you even try to correctly place co-efficients?” I flushed, the feeling of being in a ‘classroom setting’ hitting me like a brick. I couldn't see his face, but I could only imagine what type of incredulity it held. I wanted to burrow further into my sweater. I wanted to retort back, sneer that he probably knew less than I did. But I was far too concerned with the proximity between us to do anything of that sort.

He pulled back— far enough to finally be out of my lap, but still close enough where I could see the light golden flecks that swam in his dark eyes. “Are you studying? Or making John Dalton roll in his grave?” His voice was low even though it held only amusement, for some reason it sent shivers up my arms. It was a mystery to the world how he made bullying attractive.

His eyes still held that full intensity, and it was oddly both intimidating and flattering to have his full attention directed at me. “Eh..” I gave a light shrug, watching Jungkook’s eyes follow the movements like a sniper trained on it’s target. “Why aren't you mad?” The words that chose to came out my mouth were definitely tension breakers, which is what I needed right now. And they definitely threw the boy off.

I took in the switch of emotions on Jungkook’s face— his eyes changing like the seasons in front of me. A look of indignation snapped on his face at last, making me wonder how he could always remain combative. “Trust me, I am thoroughly enraged by the travesty of your Cobalt and Carbon Monoxide-”

I scoffed, slamming my hand lightly on the desk, “The article, Jungkook.”

He tilted his head at me, his face finally dropping the act of “rage” and landing on something along the lines of soft. “Why would I be mad?” he rested his chin on his hand, brown eyes searching mine. “You didn’t write that.”

“Yes but I aided in that.”

His lips quirked into a smile, and my stomach flopped. “Your reaction right now is telling me you wish you hadn’t.”

I swallowed, feeling completely outspoken, stuck wondering why I had even tried.

He started at me for a while, and I back. There was absolutely no way to tell what was going on inside of his head. My thoughts were running wild, yelling at me to say something, say anything. But I felt like any words I could spout out were inadequate. How do you apologize to someone for basically trashing their reputation? “Tell me what do to make up for it.”

Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I saw a flicker of surprise flash across his face, for only a split second. Although, I couldn’t be sure, because right after he was fixing me with an amused grin. “One question?”

I spluttered, thrown off. “What?”

“Let me ask one question?” He was watching me intently, like I was some endangered animal that needed cautious wording.

I nodded, preparing myself for the worst - what kind of monster are you? Was this your plan all along? Who else have you potentially def-

“What’s in your bag?” His real question caught me off guard, and I followed his line of vision to where he was staring right at my film bag.

I shuffled a bit, uncomfortable and suddenly embarrassed. “My camera, equipment, and stuff.”

“What do you need that for?”

The genuine curiosity in his voice is what made my shoulders loosen, he didn't seem mocking or berating. Or any sort of teasing. His face held genuine interest, and it made me warm up instantly. “I'm a film major— well, film production major.”

Jungkook’s eyes rounded comically, and he glanced back at me with a sort of amazed wonder. “So you're going to make movies and stuff—”

I let out a little gasp of a laugh, trying not to associate him with my brothers when he seemed to mirroring them exactly. Young, naive. “I want to tell stories. Make people feel something.” I shrugged, looking around the library and realizing that we really seemed to be the only two on this level. “So, yeah.”

Jungkook nodded, seemingly understanding exactly what I was talking about. I had no idea what this was, I hadn’t ever said more than ten words in one setting with the boy, and now here I was sharing my life goals and aspirations as if we were childhood best friends.

I moved my attention back to my books, also realizing that this was the first time Jungkook had ever appeared somewhat serious around me. It was unnerving, and as much as I disliked his ever present amusement: I was suddenly wishing for it back. I started packing my books, and I could practically feel Jungkook’s curious gaze boring into the side of my face.

“I actually have a shoot today- filming,” I had no idea why I started giving the explanation, it was just- something about leaving Jungkook staring and confused that made me feel unsettled. “For my spring project.” I glanced outside the window, taking in the grey clouds- heavy indicators that it was going to rain not too long from now.

Jungkook seemed to be on the same page, because when I looked back at him he held a comical smile on his face. “In the mood for ruining your equipment?” The sarcasm was back, and I couldn’t stop my eyebrow from raising at him disinterestedly. My response seemed to tempt him more, because the smile on his lips tilted higher. “Gonna get some good shots of those rain puddles?”

I shoved my books into my book bag, quickly zipping it up and picking up my things in one swift motion. Deciding quickly that it would be better to keep my mouth shut and temper in check. When I glanced back at Jungkook he raised an eyebrow back at me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. Another apology, or just yell at him for always being a shit head, but the only thing that came out was: “I'll see you around.”

“I'm just messing with you— you know that?” Jungkook's response made me whip around, and the humor that was on his face had dimmed a little bit. It made my stomach drop. I didn't want him to think he couldn't joke around, normally I would've chastised him for it, but at the moment I felt wrong about doing anything that could potentially be considered unpleasant to him.

I threw back my heartiest smile— hoping it seemed real rather than forced. “Have you gone soft on me, Jungkook?”

I didn't wait for the response, just quickly turned away towards the stairs and the exit.

track: believe - mumford and sons

The second I stepped outside a crack of thunder rang in the sky. I gave a small shiver of fright, hoping desperately that I wouldn’t get caught in the storm. I had given Jungkook the quick excuse of a “filming shoot”, when in reality I just wanted to be home when the storm hit. I had a crippling fear of storms- something I’d brought with me from my childhood.

The walk to the bus stop wasn’t long, only 20 minutes, but it felt like years under the dark, intimidating clouds. I walked quicker, wishing now more than ever to be able to apparate like a wizard from Harry Potter. The second whip of thunder had me frozen in place, and it was just then that the rain started.

My whole body gave a full shudder under the coldness of the rain, and I willed my legs to pick up the pace again.

At the third indication of thunder I couldn’t will myself any further. There was a strange sensation in my body: utter and hopeless fear. It was almost as if some invisible rope had tied itself around my legs.

A sleek, black buick pulled up to the side of the road,and I turned my attention quickly away from the driver, hoping that they would just continue to drive rather than look my way. In the background I could faintly hear the window being rolled down, maybe even a voice calling out to me. But thunder rung dangerously in the air, and my whole body cringed in a way where I was left squatting on the ground- bookbag forgotten, and arms wrapped around myself in a form of protection. The rain pounded down harder.

I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut- convince myself this was a bad dream, but before I could - a hand reached down into my line of sight, offering to help me up. I lifted my head, before me stood Jungkook, soaking wet, with my bags slung over his shoulder and his hand extended towards me. “C’mon,” He said lightly, but there was no rush to his voice, no indication of anything even remotely close to amusement. He seemed patient- dark eyes watching me with more understanding than I’ve ever seen - or maybe I was just imagining it.

I grabbed his hand, letting him pull me up easily, basically against his body. He placed a hand gently on my waist, probably balancing me, or maybe for the physical support. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was the physical contact gave a much needed sense of relief. Desperately, I fought the urge to lean heavily against him. “...but the door’s unlocked, you can get in.”

Whatever he had begun with was lost due to the pelting rain and obnoxious booming in the sky, but I got enough of it to move hesitantly towards the car. I was unsteady, and every time another boom of thunder sounded: I cringed. As I moved towards the car, I thought humorlessly about how at another time I’d be running over just what kind of life Jeon Jungkook lived to be driving a black buick. But at the moment, the relief from the rain, and little sound barrier from the thunder was enough to leave me thanking whatever gods for him to have crossed my path.

The second Jungkook was settled in he turned the radio on- loud. Any evidence of the storm was interrupted by the music playing through the speakers. I looked over at him, a wave of gratitude surging through my body. He stepped on the gas, hair dripping, clothes stuck to his body. I didn’t ask where he was going, didn’t care. I could only stare.

We drove for a while, going nowhere in particular, I assumed.I watched out the window, not recognizing the scenery of wherever we were. And once again, I was surprised to find how little I cared. Neither of us spoke, but the silence was filled with the music that continued to play through the radio.

So open up my eyes, tell me I'm alive.

The car slowed to a halt, stuck behind a red light, and I looked back over at Jungkook to find his attention directed at me as well.

This is never gonna go our way, If I'm gonna have to guess what's on your mind. I turned down the music a bit, keeping my sight on the radio pad, rather than looking back at Jungkook. “Thank you,” it sounded inadequate to my own ears. There was not enough to say to express my gratitude. I opened my mouth, wanting to say something more, when Jungkook cut in.

“My sister also.”

His words were simple, but the tone and the shortness of them had me glancing quickly back at him. He wasn’t looking at me anymore, rather at the red light, probably waiting for it to change. I wanted to ask him, touch more on his comment. But even I was bright enough to pick up on what he wasn’t saying. My sister is also afraid of storms. And something about his tone told me he didn’t want to discuss it.

The light remained red, and when Jungkook glanced back at me I internally cringed at how I must’ve looked - still staring at him. “Where do you want to be right now?” I knew he was asking if he should drive me home, but I had no desire to be there. I glanced at the clock- 20:13.I thought of my mom, thinking of how worried she probably was. But Jungkook sat in front of me, hair now only beginning to dry, clothes still soaked.

The storm was long over with. There was no reason for me to still be here. Jungkook was still watching me, I shrugged in response. For a moment I was worried that he wouldn’t catch the movement, but his gaze was held against me like he couldn’t look away. I nodded to the light which was now blaring green at us, and Jungkook’s lips tilted up slightly, just a bit.

track: favorite record - fall out boy

“Are you going to drive?” I asked, finding the strength in my voice coming back.

He shook his head a little, and I could practically see the muscles in his cheeks working to hold the smile back. The car kicked into motion, and I couldn’t help my own smile that worked on my own lips.

It was spring, so it was not yet completely dark at this time, but the sun setting in the horizon made for a beautiful viewpoint. We talking about everything, and nothing all at once. The conversation ranging from favorite hamburger condiments to song genres.

“I’m sorry I just can’t see how you can enjoy modern Fall Out Boy when their older stuff is so much better.” Jungkook argued, raising his hands defensively, before quickly returning them to the wheel.

I angled my body towards him- back resting against the car door. “I’m not saying it’s better now, I’m just saying it’s still amazing.” My smile grew at the look on his face.

After a while the conversation got too intense for driving, and he ended up pulling into a Mcdonald's parking lot so he could angle his body towards me, as well, and continue.

I learned more about Jungkook than I ever thought was possible. Not necessarily important things, just little facts about him that made him seem so much personable.

I learned how funny he was, how he could make any topic interesting enough if you just let him babble about it for long enough. I liked listening to him talk about the things he was interested in - like his friends at the frat.

“Do you really think we’re that bad?” He asked after a while of silence between us.

I looked at him, shaking my head once, and then again for good measure. “No, I don’t.” I admitted, watching as a smile crept it’s way back to his face. “But, I’ll have you know I’ve been best friends with Kim Seokjin for as long as I can remember.”

The surprise lit his face up like a christmas tree. “Kim Seokjin?”

I nodded, smiling at the thought of my best friend. He was, no doubt, going to laugh at me for hours after after the news of this night reached him. Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, eyes wide with new information. But before he could my phone exploded with a loud ringing from my bag in the back seat. He raised his eyes expectantly, and I sighed, muttering a quick, “Let’s take bets on who that is,” before pushing myself over the seat- trying to grab it. This, of course, was a hilarious idea to Jungkook and he burst out laughing. Instead of yelling at me for dirtying his expensive-ass car. I rolled my eyes and dug around blindly in my bag as the ringer continued to go and Jungkook continued to laugh.

I cringed once I picked it up and was met with the Caller ID of my mom. Nearly 11:00 now, and I hadn't let her know anything of my whereabouts. I quickly hit the green receive option, starting off with a “Hi mom…” Just to let Jungkook know not to pull anything funny. I turned my head to glare at him, another warning for him to stop laughing, and he raised his hands in defense.

“Honey? Oh I’m so relieved to hear your voice, you haven’t been picking up any of my calls. Are you okay, where are you?” My mom spoke quickly through the phone, and I was beyond relieved to hear no anger in her tone.

“Yeah, ma, I’m good. I’m- er,” I glanced at Jungkook to see him watching me expectantly back; “Studying,” His eyebrows shot up, and he mouthed the words ‘oh are we?’ back at me. I shooed him with my hand.

“With who?” My mom’s suspicious voice replied back into my ear and I shifted uncomfortably, really glad that she couldn’t see me. I was a horrible liar, and that was increased by 10,000 when it came to my mom.

“With Mary.” I lied quickly, glancing back at Jungkook to see him typing away on his own phone. I let out a content sigh.

My mom continued speaking for a while, telling me to get home before 12:30, and I agreed lightheartedly. I ended the call with a quick ‘love you too’ before shoving the phone back into my bag. “I was, genuinely, expecting a roasting of a lifetime-” I cut off, looking over at Jungkook who seemed to be paying me no attention.

He continued tapping away on his phone, eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

“Jungkook?”

He looked up suddenly, eyes widened in faux innocence. “Jungkook? Who’s that?” He paused, lips tilting up in his tell-tale sign of mischief. “I thought I was Mary?” I leaned over to whack on the side of the head, which just lead to an eruption of breathy laughs to arise from him.

“Jungkook.”

He continued to laugh, but waved at me in understanding. “Yeah, yeah. I got it. Type in your address.” He nodded to the GPS in the center console, and I followed his orders, if not a little slowly. He must’ve heard my mom's orders of when I should be back. Honestly, I didn’t want to go home. Spending time with Jungkook had taken all of my thoughts from the mess that was currently my life.

The drive back seemed way shorter than the way there, and when we got onto my street we both agreed that it would probably be better if he didn’t pull into my driveway. Of course after Jungkook, looking scandalized, exclaimed - ‘am I just a dirty little secret?!’

He parked a few houses down, but I wasn’t quick to get out. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in a rush either.

“I know where you live now,” Jungkook broke the silence with a shit eating grin painted on his lips.

“Creepy.” Was my immediate response, which sent him into a surprised laugh. There was a moment of silence, where I was staring out at the streetlights and Jungkook as well. “Thank you, for everything tonight.” I looked over at him with a soft smile.

Jungkook opened his mouth, but quickly closed it after- just giving a nod in response.

I glanced away, feeling the events of the night actually hit me. “Well, I should probably-”

He coughed out what sounded like a “yeah.” And it dawned on me that he was probably feeling mountains upon mountains of awkward.

I nodded quickly, and opened the door - stepping out of the car with my bags in hand. Jungkook started the car as I did so, and I waved to the set of headlights behind me. Whether he waved back or not, I couldn’t tell.

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