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stellamancer · 11 months

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cher(ease) (satoru gojo x reader)

notes: i want to preface this by saying: yes, i know i posted a fic yesterday too. no, i am not actually that prolific. this was written for the willow house Meet Fruit collab. actually, i wrote it right after @willowser suggested it, but i waited to post it because I was actually a little unhappy with it when I was done writing it initially and i figured some time away from it might help. it did. a little. i think. now i’m not sure any more..

contains: gender neutral reader, typical satoru gojo antics, some small manner of sexual tension

wc: 1.4k

You love cherries.

They are, without a doubt, your favorite fruit; tart, sweet and easy to eat with their stems serving as a cute little handle. It does suck having to deal with eating around the pits, but your beloved cherries are worth the inconvenience. It’s truly, truly a shame that they’re only really available in the summer, but that just means you need to eat your fill when they’re in season.

Which is why, when you stumble across a display of them at the market, rows of cartons filled to the brim with bright, plump, juicy red cherries, you end up buying a carton or three without a second thought.

In retrospect, it might have been better to show some restraint. Maybe you had hungry eyes, or were just a touch too excited, or maybe it was even the fact that you’d spent an unspeakable amount of money on just cherries. Regardless, in order to attempt to absolve yourself of some of the buyer’s regret that’s clearly haunting you after splurging on fruit you benevolently decide to share them with the students and your fellow staff members at Jujutsu High.

Or at least, that had been your intent.

“Oh hey,” Satoru Gojo greets you casually as you walk into the staff room, his feet propped up on the table so he can lean his chair back as far as possible. In one of his hands is a cherry, one of your cherries, hanging delicately from its stem. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing?” you ask him reflexively, ignoring his question outright as a surge of annoyance courses through your veins. There’s a part of you that feels weird about suddenly feeling possessive over the cherries. You brought them to share with everyone and everyone includes Gojo. It shouldn’t be a big deal that he's gone ahead and helped himself to some without asking, and yet you still find yourself feeling agitated.

"I was hungry," he replies nonchalantly, popping the cherry in his mouth.

"And you thought it would be okay to snack on my cherries?"

Gojo shifts forward in his chair and offers you an easy-going smile that only makes you scowl more. “There were so many in the fridge I’d thought you’d brought them to share.”

Your instinct is to argue, to be obtusely contrarian with him, but the fact of the matter is that he’s right, so you keep your mouth shut. Instead, you sit yourself down and stare at the half full carton of cherries on the table.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Gojo wiggling around, not-so-subtly vying for your attention like an overly excitable child. You ignore him and instead choose to think of the rising cost of produce. It was truly an ungodly amount you spent on those cherries and you know for sure that a year ago the same amount of them would have cost marginally less. When you thought about sharing them with the students, the blow to your wallet seemed bearable, their smiles worth the cost and more. But rather than your students' darling faces all you can see is the image of Gojo’s face, his cheeks stuffed with cherries like he’s a squirrel feasting on nuts. It’s annoying. Maybe you can get him to pony up and pay you back for a portion of what he’s eaten. Surely the heir to the Gojo clan can pay for some of the cherries he’s gobbled up.

“Hey…” He’s whining loudly now, any attempts at being subtle abandoned. You consider ignoring him more, but think better of it and look in his direction. Unsurprisingly, he’s pouting, his perfectly moisturized lips puckering out, and you’re glad that his blindfold detracts from what is otherwise a disgustingly handsome face. “Why the long face?”

He’s mocking you. He’s totally mocking you. Not that you’d expect anything different from him. Rather than grace him with an actual answer, you shoot him a pointed look. There’s no goddamn way that he doesn’t know. But still, Gojo plays his favorite role and tilts his head innocently. When you don’t say anything more he exclaims, “Oh! I know! You must be hungry.”

Again, he’s not wrong, but this time he’s not exactly right either.

He grabs another cherry, this time holding it up in your direction. He grins as he propels it toward your mouth. “Here. Say ‘ah~’”

“Gojo, you are not feeding me.”

He ignores you, insistently pressing the cherry to your lips as he speaks, his voice an octave lower, "They taste really good, you know."

The sexy drop of his voice is nothing short of deliberate— a tried and true tactic of his meant to get under your skin. You glare at him, your agitation clear as day. He is, as expected, completely unfettered, the cherry still flush against your lips.

Your options at this point are to: wait until he gets bored and drops the cherry, possibly onto the floor— wasting it or shamefully accept it and endure him gloating about it for the rest of the day. As much as you’d love to waste Gojo’s time and sit at the table in a silent stalemate, you have other things to do. Important things.

So you open your mouth wide, wider than necessary, and use your teeth to rip the cherry from Gojo’s grasp in the most unattractive way possible.

“Yay!” he cheers, choosing to focus on seeing just what he wants to see instead acknowledging that you obviously don’t want his offering. You consider, for one wild second, spitting it back in his face. However, you don’t and just drop the cherry into your open palm. Now what? Do you eat the cherry or just toss it? Frankly, it feels like a lose-lose situation either way, so you might as well go with the option that gives Gojo less satisfaction: you toss it into the trash can.

“Aw…” His lips jut out to form an excessive pout.

“I already told you: you are not feeding me.”

“You’re no fun."

“I’m plenty of fun,” you dead pan at him, scowling. “I’m just not your plaything.”

“Meaning you won’t feed me either?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Not even if I say please?”

“Nope.”

“Hmph.” He’s being overly dramatic and you both know it. “Guess I will enjoy the cherries all on my own, then.”

His voice drops again. The second time makes your body feel a little bit weird, but you remain largely immune to his antics, electing to grab another cherry to eat over paying him any mind.

But Gojo reaches for the cherries right when you do, obviously and intentionally going for the same one you are, and your fingers brush against one another. You scowl and rather than play some weird version of finger footsie, you go for a different cherry.

Annoyed, you shoot him another glare, or at least, you intend to, but he’s pulled his dumb blindfold down and that’s a tell-tale sign that he’s up to no good. You can already feel your blood pressure rising. Dealing with him like this is even more of a pain than usual.

He holds your gaze, his eyes clear as the summer sky, glimmering, as he presses the cherry to his mouth every so gently, as if he’s kissing it. You watch, almost entranced, your mouth suddenly dry. Gojo rolls it over his lips, parting them ever so slightly to press the damn fruit further in, his tongue darting out and—

You force yourself to look away, rolling your eyes as you do. “What the hell are you doing? You look stupid.”

Gojo merely hums, chewing on the cherry. You hope he bites into the pit and dies of cyanide poisoning.

He tosses a few more cherries into his mouth before he speaks, another seductive drawl, and though you would never admit it, you think your immunity grows weaker every time he uses that damn tone of voice. “Hey.”

“What,” you deadpan, glancing at him.

Gojo grins at you and his lips part just slightly, calling your attention to them again. He reaches up and slowly pulls a cherry stem from his mouth. It’s looped into a little knot and the sight of it throws you back to your middle school days— your classmates giggling quietly to themselves over the implications of things like tongue tied cherry stems and candies unwrapped using one’s tongue alone.

“So,” he starts, his stupid blue eyes shining with shameless amusement, “have you heard what they say about people who can do this?”

He grins at you, far too pleased with himself for his own damn good. You know the answer he’s looking for. And he should know that hell will freeze over before you give it to him.

“Yeah. They call them idiots for putting the damn cherry stem in their mouths.”

#satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk x reader #i actually do not eat a lot of cherries #i thought i was allergic for the longest time #actually yellow nectarines are my summer fruit of choice #i had one the other day and it was just so juicy and sweet #oh the title #it's obviously a pun but i don't know if the fic really implies enough that the 'ease' part refers to how 'easily' gojo did the thing #but someone like him could easily tie a knot from a cherry stem or unwrap a starburst #he's a freak #i hate him go to hell gojo #infinite loop!verse

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marauders-peace · 4 months

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Black secrets

Summary: "Don't give away to much, or it will lose it's value."

Pairing: Sirius black x hufflepuff!reader

Warnings: past toxic friendship, past toxic relationship (not with the reader), insecurities, self conscious , fake dating

Thank you all for the loving comments, I will try to write more <33 This part takes place before the last.

Wc: 1.1k Masterlist Last Part Next Part

I literally flew through the corridors. My heart was racing, my legs felt light, and for the first time, my head didn't seem to throb. The sun shone brightly and seemed to smile at me. I smiled back and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

Suddenly, I bumped into someone.

I looked ahead and saw a boy from Slytherin, who looked at me with big, inquisitive eyes. Where did I know those eyes from?

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

He still looked at me with that gaze. Eventually, he shook his head. "As if someone like you could hurt me."

What?

He already pushed me aside and was about to leave after saying that, but I didn't let him go so easily.

"What do you mean?"

He looked away and shook his head again. "Forget it, Whisky."

"What… How do you know-"

"Everyone knows you by now, and you should know why." I felt small under those eyes. How they followed me. How they assessed me. How familiar they seemed.

"How do you know 'Whisky'?"

His eyes widened at that. He looked at me for a long time, as if he were just coming up with his answer.

"I'm (y/n)."

Then he looked away. I tried to catch his gaze, but I couldn't. Finally, he turned around.

"I only know Whisky, who always chases after everyone and now pretends to be with Sirius Black. Not (y/n)."

Then he walked away.

"Hey, wait! You can't just-"

"I have to go to the Quidditch field. Leave me alone."

And before I could say anything else, he was gone. My confusion slowly turned into panic as I realized what that fifth-year just said.

Pretends.

Who the hell was this boy with blavk hair and those familiar eyes? And how did he know?

~~~

"Why did you talk to Leander? And about what?" Cassie looked at me appraisingly. It seemed she and Phina didn't catch everything Leander had said in the common room. Lucky.

"I just warned him not to pick a fight with Sirius. We all know how that ends. He'll end up in the hospital wing again," I said, gathering my things and placing them on our dresser.

Our rooms were far from the other houses. It wasn't always pleasant to climb the entire way up. And who came up with the idea to place Slytherin in the basement? Whisky still always came down to wait for me.

"So what? Let him end up in the hospital wing; it's more fun for us! Otherwise, everything here is sooo boring… Since Whis-"

"Our team should win, not start a brawl," I interrupted Phina before she said something that would infuriate me. I understood her desire for something new all the time and the amusement of drama. But I didn't want any drama with Leander and Sirius at the moment.

"That's strange, though," Cassie began, leaning forward with a sly grin. "Since when does our untouchable Seraph care about our Quidditch team? Usually, you only went for Whisky. Or are you hoping to see her there?"

I shook my head laughing, as always. Don't reveal too much; otherwise, it loses its value. "Yes, sure, Cassie." Give nothing away, or it loses its value. "You have a vivid imagination in your sweet little head."

Hidden revenge hurts the most. And I know what it looks like. But when I look at Whisky, I don't see that hidden revenge. I see guilt feelings, as if she genuinely cares about me. Yes, as if that little snake somehow cares about me in her new perfect world!

Cassie didn't say anything more and looked away. Sometimes, she reminded me so terribly of Whisky that I wanted to hit her.

"Come on, Phina, let's go upstairs already."

And sometimes, she was so unlike Whisky that I wanted to strangle her.

"Can you wait for a damn moment for me? It's not that hard, is it?"

Both looked at me silently as I sighed and finished tying my hair into a ponytail. I stood up and examined myself in the mirror. "Not great, but it'll have to do."

Then I turned to the little mice, waiting for my next move. "Wasn't that difficult, was it?"

Phina looked like she wanted to say something, but Cassie gave her a look that made her hesitate. I didn't want to wait for their game, so I started walking. They followed me as always.

Take it away from them, and they'll want it again.

~~~

One foot in front of the other. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right-

"(Y/n)! There you are, we've been looking for you!" Maya and Lydia approached me. I was on my way to my room to contemplate this encounter.

"Come on, let's go to the game together; it's starting soon. And you definitely shouldn't miss it!" Lydia looked at me with a meaningful look while Maya took a moment to understand her hints.

"Yeah, you're right."

I joined them and walked towards the field with them, trying not to show anything. I kept the encounter with the boy to myself for now.

"Would it be okay if we meet up with Luis and Luke? They don't know you yet and would like to get to know you. They're nice guys, even if Luke can be a bit rough, he's still nice." Maya explained, looking at me expectantly.

I wasn't good with new people, but if they wanted to get to know me, it would be impolite to simply say no. So, I nodded with a smile, and we headed to the spectator stands.

On one side, there were mostly green robes, with a few yellow or blue ones. Slytherin was very serious when it came to the game against Gryffindor. The same could be said for those sitting on the other side.

As we approached the stands, I could already see two boys my age in Ravenclaw robes from a distance. They both had black hair and seemed to be twins, although you could distinguish them easily. One had a very serious expression and a scar on his face, while the other looked more relaxed, but something seemed to be on his mind.

Maya waved to them, and Lydia ran towards the one with a smile on her face, hugging him. He seemed surprised at first but hugged her back.

"Feeling better?" she asked him, and he smiled a sad smile. He nodded slightly but very uncertainly, and Maya scrutinized him with concern.

The somewhat grim one cleared his throat and turned to me. Instead of saying anything, he nodded his head towards me and looked at his brother pleadingly. The brother quickly caught on and let go of Lydia.

"Hey, sorry, this must be weird for you. Everything's fine, don't worry. You're (Y/n), right? I'm Luis, and this is Luke." He smiled at me, and I nodded back. "Nice to finally meet you. We've heard about you from everywhere."

I looked away shyly and didn't know what to say. I didn't have to say anything, as Luke spoke up. "We need to find a seat soon. Otherwise, Slytherin will take them all."

"And where should we sit?" I asked, looking at the others.

Luke looked at me in disbelief. "To Gryffindor? On your friend's side? Where do you want to go?"

I looked at the Slytherin side where I usually sat and was startled by his question. "I- It's just a habit, sorry."

Luis laughed softly, not mocking but friendly. "You were a Slytherin fan? How did you even end up with Sirius?" He looked at me for a long time, and my heart stopped. "But he also dated Seraph, so it seems he puts Quidditch aside in his relationships."

"Now let's go!" said Lydia, who seemed to want to get me to the spectator level as quickly as possible. Luis laughed, and Luke just grinned at me slightly as we walked in.

The field seemed huge every time I saw it. The preparation seemed to be over, and the players were in their team tents. We found seats near the front but not too close so that we could have a good view of the field.

It took a long time for all the spectators to sit down, and the murmurs subsided. I looked into the spectator rows around us and saw people I had known since childhood suddenly very close. Some even smiled at me, although we had never spoken.

Eventually, it was time. The players were called and summoned to their positions. It didn't take long until I saw Sirius, but it seemed like an eternity before our eyes met.

When he saw me, he pointed at me and smiled. As if to say, I'm winning for you. I blushed slightly and smiled back at him. Eventually, I couldn't look into those eyes anymore and looked away.

Into other familiar eyes. Wide-open eyes that looked at me in shock. Seraph was sitting across from me. I felt uncomfortable as she looked down and then back at me. But she wasn't looking at Sirius.

The Slytherin players gathered, and the last player was called to his position. The boy I had encountered. The one who glared at me from below. The one who seraph looked at in disbelief.

"And Regulus Black, as Seeker, to his position!"

Regulus.

Black?

Taglist: @theofficialmadman @fanboyluvr @fjdjsiskcjfj @starsval @olkathedestroyer @helloitsmeeeeeee @xamapolax @maripositanoctruna @ancientimes @cloudlst @marina468 @regulus-black-223048 @loving-and-dreaming @tarzanathetumblingwarrior @princesspuffle8@lonely-nerd-sodaholic@lostgirlsstuff@wolken-n @thepunisherfrankcastle@nefri-black@solitarioslilium@briskesby@ropickle@my-current-fandom-is @hawkinsavclub1983@dancingwithreality

#marauders era #marauders #the marauders #dead gay wizards #harry potter #sirius black #sirius black angst #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius x reader #sirius black fic #toxic relationship #toxic friends

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elfqueen006 · 3 months

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Jellybelly Panic

Sunny Day Jack x Reader

Saya no Uta AU. The same elements anyway. First person POV. Graphic violence. Unreality. Emotional Manipulation. Lore here.

---

I stood petrified in the alleyway with Jack not far behind. He took a cautious stance, peeking around the corner, watching monster in case it reacted. Primarily, it was pink from the neck (?) up. But its body gradually faded into a dark ombre effect. The clumps spread throughout its body, giving it the appearance of a deformed overhaul of gum.

My heart thumped rapidly against my chest.

"Jack," I breathed, "What the hell is that thing?"

"It's a jellybelly." He replied. Without thinking, I laughed. His face was dead serious, though, and whatever trace of humor I had vanished. The name was ridiculous, sure. It didn't excuse the situation from being downright terrifying.

"Are they... are they dangerous?" I asked.

"Very." Jack said, "If you don't have enough love in your heart or are overcome by negativity, then you turn into one. They go around sucking up all the sad people they can find!"

That sounded like the description of a damn My Little Pony monster! But then again, since meeting Jack, your life has been all sunshine and rainbows, so it might as well be. But that still doesn't beg the question...

"What does it want?" I asked. Jack eyed me warily.

"It wants you."

My eyes nearly pop out of my skull, my heart begins to race again and I clutch my shirt. "What-whatever does it want with me?! I'm not sad I... I have you!"

Jack smiles sadly.

"That's sweet. But do you remember what happened in the yogurt shop?"

I blanch. A cold sweat starts to come on as I wring my hands. I can feel my mouth going dry, and I try desperately to wet my lips. I'm looking down at my shoes; they're neatly wiped and have been intricately washed - courtesy of Jack. I hadn't wanted them cleaned in the first place. They were really only for errands and work. It wasn't like I was going to the Oscar's or anything like that. But for my introduction into this new reality of mine, Jack had wanted me to look my best and carry myself like the most important person he was so confident I was.

God, he was really too good for me. And to think I so carelessly rejected him in the yogurt shop. What kind of a friend am I?

A firm hand clasped my shoulder then, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked at Jack, who was kneeling down to eye level with me.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?" I nodded slowly. "What's important right now is that we take action."

"'Take action?' What do you mean?"

"You can't let it get you, sunshine."

Instinctively, I backed away. "You mean to say I- no. No, Jack! I can't fight that thing, it's huge!"

"Yes, you can. You just have to-"

"Don't. Do not say I should believe in myself, because I don't! I'm not equipped nor qualified to take on that monster! I'm a coward! " I declared, unaware my rising tone was attracting the monster to the alley.

A brief glimpse of panic flashed in Jacks' eyes. He reached for me, then hesitated. He then sighed and his look turned grave.

"That's perfectly fine." He said.

"... really?"

"Of course. So long as you promise one thing: believe in me."

He continued when I didn't respond, "I would never put you in a situation you couldn't handle, nor would I allow you in harm's way..." he told me, "Sunshine, please. You can do this, I know you can."

"...Jack-"

A low growl and squelching sound approached the alleyway. I stepped out, finding myself face to face with the monster sooner than I would've liked. I yelped, causing the thing to roar at me.

"Jack, what-" I looked behind me by Jack was gone. And in a split second I dodged the monster as it lunged for me. I consistently side stepped the creature, never giving it an opening to capture me.

Eventually, I started to tire myself out. I knew this couldn't go on for long. The monster - this "jellybelly" - would soon catch on to my patterns and just go for it when I'm at my weakest.

I put my hand against the alley wall to catch my breath. The monster roared frustratedly. I scanned the area for anything to defend myself. A stick... a piece of trash...

In the moment I grabbed the candy cane. It was heavier than it looked, and sticky. The texture of its material was slightly weathered, the sugar particles scraping off at the edges. Something left out this long couldn't be sanitary. I'd have to wash my hands after handling it.

I spot the jellybelly moving toward me and give the cane a half hearted swing.

"Stay back you freak!"

The monster bellowed, rushing towards me. I gulp, feeling the weapon get heavier in my hands. It's like my arms are turning hollow. Still, whether it be natural instinct or dumb luck, when the jellybelly was within arms reach, I swung.

Pieces of the the monster's maw went flying off the moment my weapon made contact. It screeched in pain, the catharsis of what I'd done giving me a boost of adrenaline as I found myself stepping to it while it reeled back.

"Not so tough now, huh?" I bit out.

I raised my weapon upwards and came down on its back while it hunched. It cried out, but I didn't let that deter me. I repeatedly whacked at its squishy form until it crumbled to the ground. It twitched slightly but was no more than a mound of opaque jello.

Coming down from my high, I'd dropped the cane. I began to tremble, feeling the aftershock of what I'd just done. Sure it was a monster but was it really coming after me specifically?

It seemed to react like an animal sensing a threat. And if it were only acting on the offensive because I was... was I in the wrong?

"You did the right thing, sunshine." Jack said, coming up from behind the corner of the alley.

Immediately I ran up to him feeling hot tears well up and a tightness in my throat like I couldn't breathe. I heaved and sobbed into his chest. He cooed and rubbed the small of my back.

I sniffed, "Don-don't you ... e-ever just take off on me like that again!"

"I'm sorry. I know that was a lot to go through. But I had to step out so you could take initiative on your own." He told me.

"I don't care! Don't do that to me again!"

"I won't, sunshine. But I can't do that without you."

"...What do you mean?"

Jack takes me chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head up to where my gaze meets his.

"You have to be honest with yourself." Jack said. "I can't be here to protect you unless you want me near."

I grip his jacket, "I do. I swear I do, Jack." I bury my wet face into his shirt. "I need you... please don't leave me."

For a moment, nothing. And then I feel his gloved hands run up my back and hold me close. His breathing sounds rough, like he's trying to hold it steady.

"I'm so, so happy to hear you say that, sunshine."

He then pulls back and looks around. "We can't stay for long... let's go home."

---

"In other news, influencer Nicholas Herreras had been found in brutal condition, barely clinging to life in an alley on the corner of 5th street. The assault weapon - a rusty pipe - was left discarded, not too far behind. Police are investigating Herreras assaulter and their motivations."

Shaun grimaces at the disturbing report and turns off the television. To think he was just attacked like that with no prompting...

There's some real freaks out there.

He doesn't turn to see his roommate come in. Instead he opts to feed his cat to take his mind off the news.

Shaun calls their name, "Hey, be careful when coming home. A guy was just attacked not too long ago."

There's only a muttered reply as their door shuts. Though the air smells distinctly of metal.

#clown's song #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack fanfiction #sunny day jack x mc #sunny day jack x reader #sdj x reader #sdj x you #sunny day jack #my fics

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zukkaoru · 4 months

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Do u have any kunidazai or kunichudazai fic recs at all? Seeing ur posts I wanna dip my toe in but would love to read any faves u have also!!

YES YES YES most of these will be oneshots bc that's mostly what i read + rated t or g unless stated otherwise. the rest are under the cut bc this got (expectedly) long lol

kunidazai:

let Hope die by degradedpsychotic

Dazai smirks at him, in the process of filling the rice cooker. "Need help?" Kunikida exhales, and it takes the form of a bitter laugh. "That's all I ever need anymore."

4.3k words, post-decay of angels arc. dazai and kunikida are learning to navigate the world with injuries that they will never fully recover from (dazai w chronic leg pain + kunikida w chronic hand pain)

the tragic (pony)tail of dazai’s downfall by sarcoline_sails

five times Kunikida has his hair down, and one time Dazai ensures it stays that way.

6.6k words. exactly what it says on the tin

Piled Up by KhaoticEnby

Kunikida gets sick in the midst of a busy time at the ADA. Dazai, just back from his mission, tries his best to help him

3.4k words, established relationship

sure it's a calming notion (perpetual in motion) by saffroncassis

the one where Dazai digs himself a hole, and then just keeps digging deeper.

5.3k words. instead of admitting he likes kunikida, dazai says he just wants to have sex with him. because when has dazai ever been honest about his feelings? (there's no smut, but there are references to and jokes about sex)

but in that uncertainty, i found you. by warsfeil

In which everyone gets injured and two inept individuals wonder about the meaning of partnership.

3.4k words. dazai gets injured and kunikida worries; then kunikida gets injured and dazai worries

kunichuuzai:

thin ice over a monstrous depth by luminariums

Chuuya and Dazai are fifteen years old when Kouyou insists they learn the art of dancing. It shapes the way Chuuya views his relationships - until Kunikida comes along and flips his whole world upside down.

8k words, chuuya-centric, part-character/relationship study and part-getting (back) together. this fic focuses mostly on the kunichuu and skk dynamics since it's chuuya-centric but ohhhh it is. SO good

all brutal mirrors cracked by intimatopia

The one in which Dazai and Kunikida are swapped into each other's bodies by a mirror, and then their day gets worse.

12.4k words, dazai pov with established skk. THIS FIC. oh my god this fic i read it through like 3-4 times within the first week i found it. it's such a fascinating take on the body swap trope with good angst and a happy ending. i can get really picky with dazai angst but this. this fic. this fic does it RIGHT.

Listen to Your Heart by 4_the_tainted_sorrow_21

Kunikida gets used as a pillow for his boyfriends, but he finds he doesn't mind it very much.

1k words, kunikida pov, established kunichuuzai. very short and very sweet. they just get to cuddle <3

Cover Me In Chamomile by ChaoticQuill

Kunikida has a bad day, and his boyfriends take care of his portion of the chores.

6.7k words, kunikida pov. getting together/developing relationship + domestic kunichuuzai

A Trick of the Tongue by AbsoluteNegation

“Just because I lie all the time doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my fault I was cursed to tell the truth,” Dazai said indignantly and automatically. They both sat there while that statement unfurled its full glory before them.

47.5k words, 9 chapters, dazai pov. part character study, part getting (back) together. dazai is cursed to tell the truth, which he takes exactly as well as you would expect. but everything works out in the end <3 warning: this fic is rated e with smut in chapter 8 (i believe it's just that one scene with implied/referenced sex in the epilogue/ch9 but the smut can definitely be skipped)

and idk if you've read them or not but here are my fics as well:

warm leftovers

after the threesome, kunikida and dazai take chuuya home

2.1k words, chuuya pov, established kunidazai + pre-kunichuuzai. personally one of my favorite bsd fics i've written i think

desperate prayers of a cursed man

dazai can't remember the last time he slept through the night. if anyone were to ask, he'd say it's not a problem. but when the rest of the world is asleep, humanity is a hard thing to come by.

4k words, mostly a dazai character study with background established kunichuuzai tbh

though i burn, how could i fall?

kunikida assumes the position of agency president. somewhere between shaking hands, pastry boxes, and dazai leaving the door open, he learns leadership also means knowing when to take a step back and trust others will help you shoulder your burdens.

8.8k words, kunikida-centric. spawned a series that currently has two other fics but since this is the first, it can easily be read as a stand alone. features kunikida with hand tremors and dazai with chronic leg pain + crutches

if you look back and you hate my past

dazai contemplates his (lack of) humanity while kunikida tends to his wounds

3.3k words, dazai character study, pre-kunidazai with nods towards past skk. i wrote this after i finished reading dazai's entrance exam light novel and had a breakdown

the sound of love

kenji gets sick. luckily, he has a lot of people who are looking out for him.

4.5k words, kenji-centric with established kunichuuzai mostly in the background but there are soft and sweet moments with them so i'm adding it too

i'm probably forgetting other fics i've read and enjoyed but this is long enough as is so i'll just leave it here skgfhgjhk hopefully you can find some stuff in here that looks interesting 🫶

#i'm actually not kidding when i say i think about all brutal mirrors cracked All The Time #i think that fic permanently altered my brain chemistry #everything on this list is good obviously but there is just Something about that fic that makes me go crazyyyyyyy #anyway! i hope you enjoy anon #asks #anon asks #fic rec #kunichuuzai #kunidazai #bsd #TUMBLR STOP MESSING UP FORMATTING WHEN I POST CHALLENGE

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little-greedy-things · 2 years

Text

Not just Rain but a Raging Storm

Episode 1 review!

Okay first, I gotta admit, the names of the characters (Rain, Payu - which I now know means Storm) and the name of the episode has me giddy with excitement okay? That's soo smart? I love a good wordplay!

I saw a lot of posts on Instagram and Tumblr where people commented on the intro being too long and unnecessary, but I think that it actually added to the mystery and the vibe of the whole episode? I think they started off great by setting the mood right- the timestamps, vehicles being transported, illegal race? (they gave us an insight straight into Payu’s world!)

Plus we also get to see Rain and Sky (two pure little beans) be all stupid. I stan besties-who-share-one-braincell!

Okay so woah, our cute little bean gets caught in an illegal race and the first thing that he can think of to say is “I live around here and heard a noise?” See this is exactly why cute little things like him will get eaten by the big bad wolf. My boy has no braincells does he? C’mon Rain you gotta tell me now, how exactly stupid are you and how many times am I going to run a hand down my face, shaking my head in frustration?

So, this what they mean by “Raging Storm?” Look how pissed Payu looks here:

Oh yes, even I’m wondering what an ordinary boy like you is doing here Rain, care to start from the beginning?

So cute little Rain meets the big bad wolf on a rainy night? (Is this a co-incidence that the night he happens to meet Payu its literally raining buckets? - almost like a storm coming in? - the boy is doomed)

Oh, look how sweet and thoughtful Rain is!! So qualities of Rain collected so far: Little bean that’s gonna mess up my emotional balance, cheeks to die for and so so kind!) No wonder Payu does a double take at this little bean being kind to him in the rain.

Damn! He really gave Rain his helmet to hold so our baby can feel useful too! I love considerate men! (nods nods). Why am I getting a feeling that Rain will never learn anything about cars and just keep making Payu rescue him?

Not in the first 10 mins of the episode! C’mon!!!

Isn’t Sky so damn relatable??? We all deserve a bestie who calls us out on our shit okay?

Yes, pls keep on being so goddamn relatable SKY! (Expressions so on point - 10/10 would recommend)

Okay so turns out our little bean is the only one who doesn't know who Payu is? Even though he is like super famous? (okay this is very cliché but hey, I’m not complaining…okay maybe I’m. I just find it unbelievable)

Wow, one of the best entries I have seen of a lead. This is one of the things I really look forward to when its the first episode, the entry often gives an idea of the power the characters are gonna hold. I mean F4 Thailand? That was one heck of a powerful entry! (Also BrightWin)

He really sells the whole package here doesn’t he? Look at his cute little pony!

Oops okay okay. Yes Rain messed up here alright? But also hear me out. He is already jealous of a man he has never met, who his crush is crushing on - am I making sense? Give the man a chance to be salty over it? Obviously doesn’t excuse what he said, we have all said things without thinking them through and although it was wrong of Rain to word it this way, I will not hold it against him!

And they meet again? Just like that? At the frat dinner? and look at Payu not recognising Rain - like c’mon are u serious? Look at the heartbreak on little Rain's face! Are we really going to pretend now? (like that weird hand caress in the rain just did not happen?) Okay okay Payu- if that's the way u wanna go

Wow, Rain really is unlucky with cars isn’t he? and looooook who hears him, crying over his goddamn car again? Why do I get a feeling Payu was actually waiting for a chance to rescue the damsel in distress? All of this looks so fishy and look its freaking raining again like there’s going to be a storm? This cannot be a coincidence?

Also - he did not just say that to my pure innocent little bean?

That desperate hand hold! Someone certainly did notice. Yes I’m looking at you Payu! You certainly liked Rain clinging to you asking for help!

This escalated way too quickly for me…what is even happening omg!

Okay yes, I do gotta admit Payu is right here. Rain did come off as a little desperate and I remember cringing - so case well rested Payu

Hahaha…why did I laugh so hard at this?

Okay Payu your Dom is showing, slow down a little bit pls

Now, do u wanna know how many times I have replayed this scene? An embarrassing amount of time! But look at Payu being all cocky and Rain with his “caught in the headlights” look, man even forgot he was about to leave! hahahaha

Awww look at how cute frustrated Rain looks and that forehead crease! Sky is so done with his dumb dumb best friend!

And Sky having to deal with rain’s emotions (wait why are the characters named sooo perfectly? Sky literally has to deal with Rain’s moods? this is crazy)

And now he has to go back to collect his car from the garage. How does a man forget about his car? Omg. Am I the only one who kinda finds it unbelievable when characters forget about their cars? I know I fucking wouldn't (Is it just my broke ass talking?)

A kitty who tries to go against a tiger? Sky knows exactly whats going on and he is NOT holding back!

Payu fixed Rain’s car himself? O-K-A-Y. The man’s worried about his boy being stuck in the rain again. Like we know he wouldn’t drop everything to go fix Rain’s car again!

Also am I the only one who finds the mechanic guy creepy? Okay Mr-creepy-smile-mechanic. We get your point.

And that’s the end. Man what a ride. For the first episode, the story progressed way too fast. I mean c’mon what were the chances of Rain ending up in Payu’s bed in the first thirty minutes of the first goddam episode. Whatever I had in mind, I certainly hadn’t expected that.

However, the plot has progressed good. The characters, their personality, vibes are all soo on point (and yes I’m certainly talking about Sky’s constant I’m-so-done-with-this-boy look)

I haven’t started watching Episode 2 yet and the preview tells me its gonna be another roller-coaster ride!! I need a break from their fierce chemistry and their intense eye contact!

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many-lovely-queer-creatures · 1 year

Text

The VHS:

"Hi dearest<3 My name's Vivianne. Vivianne Vex~ (They/Pony/She) Trans femme butch/futch/femme Ponygender Cyborg/Cybernetic Unicorn succubus enby, but who I am doesn't revolve around sex and violence (anymore). It revolves around humor, VERY silly memes like that barely qualify legally as memes, MLP, Fallout, Halo, and loving and supporting the people around me, not least of all my 15-year Partner and love of my life, Cole/Panza<3 I'm a surrogate mom to a lot of people, and will do almost- and will do *anything* to protect trans kids, trans people, or any marginalized folk. I love you. And I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're here<3"

"Hey! My name's Colton or Panzara(depending on my current gender) Zander Marluxia They/He/She/Bug I'm a toric/achillean transmasc bigender genderfluid girl boy! I'm a mage from the tropics, I'm very soft-spoken, and I bugging love everyone, and try to be kind and understanding towards everyone, as does Vivi my Wife and love forever<3 I like Half-Life, lil bugs, boys<3<3 fresh fruit, Halo, and being outdoors! Uweh<3"

"uh uhm uhm uhh uh H-hi, my name's um... Willow or Wren or Ren, still kind of uhm.. Experimenting, uh, I'm just a lil trans pony girl who loves her friends and is kinda silly and trying to do better and find out who she is. I love you<3 Uhm, I think."

"Hai!!! :D My name's Pinkie Pie, and I'm a kinda ace-spectrummyy bisexualish lesbainish pony with she/her and im trying out pink/pink pronouns!! Im the most recent member of the system, and i love everypony here! They're all so nice and friendly and supportive, oh, I really like sweets and parties and Twilight and soda and baking and making friends and candy and everything! Everywhere! If I could, i'd give everypony in the whole world a biiiiig hug!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU, DONT FORGET TO SMILE AND DO STUFF THAT MAKES YOU SMILE! LOVE YOUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"Hello/Hallo. My designation is LSTR-512. I go by Elster. I am a fictive, of some definition, from Signalis. I am a he/him lesbian. I am... Incredibly dedicated to my partner. I love her. Very, very, very much. She is the light of my life. Meine shatz, meine leibe, meine sonne und meine mond und mein sterne der nacht. Ich liebe dich. Du vervollständigst mich. I enjoy very much classical music, wine, Bavarian food, and Centaurworld."

"Hewwo!!! bork bork! X3 My name is Koda she/her and i am doggy girl. i like u and biting and smothing peoples in my chest floof and i love you!! brrruf :3 das about it love u byeeee ||3 *waggywaggywaggy*"

"hey. my name's Jonas. Jonas Kujo. some of my friends call me Shen, or sometimes Jojo. Aroace, he/they pronouns please. im a pretty soft, quiet dude. but... i love trans people. Mogai people. my people. I'll do anything, and fight anyone for you. Pinky promise. i have a fire in me that won't go out. I will burn down the world if it means keeping the folks i love warm for another winter. I will not fail you. You are my family. You are my strength. You are my heart. My name is Jonas. and I'm gonna save the world."

Not pictured/without comment: Smiley, a Yes Man fictive who helps out when other folks are under a lot of emotional toil, and has repaired me several times after stress damage<3 -Vivianne

"Howdy! Ah'm Workhorse, an Applejack fictive, she/her. I'm just now startin' to stretch my legs, but y'all might hear from me soon. Take care, y'all! :D"

Raer Gorebeest, It/Its/Itself, is a cryptid who enjoys drawing with crayons, scaring people, biting things, and and many other violent possibly triggering actions, but don't worry!! It's actually very sweet and lovey, and kinda just a big kid! -Colton

All others didn't want a spotlight, but are still as much a part of the family as an others. Feel free to ask about us and stuff, we're pretty open, friendly folks.

#plural #actually plural #introduction #system intro #sapphic #achillean #transfem #transmasc #genderqueer #aroace #asexual #aromantic #otherkin #nonbinary #therian

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 5 months

Text

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 9 🕺🏼

🎨 biamakesart Follow

Hi!! I made a new comic 💜 Like and reblog

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Haha that happened to me and my friends once 🤣

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

Randomly remember when my dad explained to me that him and his then fiancée were getting married. But he didn’t say that, he started to do this elaborate story about some papa bear that was on his way to meet mama bear at the meadow and saw a flying unicorn or something. That was his ”metaphors” for how they were getting married.

Some extra context to this story: I was 18 when he told me this.

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

In that case, how did he explain like… how babies are made?

I both want and do not want to know.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

”Imagine a pegasus and a unicorn. They love each other very much, and so they run across the rainbow together. Their love causes it to rain ice cream and everyone is so happy! Soon there’s a new pony appearing when the unicorn shoots glitter from its magical horn. All the magical elfs celebrate the arrival of the pony, which of course is purple and sparkles a lot! Now, do you have any questions?”

10 year old me:

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

How did you even go through puberty?!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I’m asking myself this every single day.

30 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

When someone has hurt you, remember that everyone has the same bodily functions as you do.

What I am saying is that, whenever someone has made you feel awful, just picture them farting. They aren’t so scary anymore now, are they?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I tried this and then I immediately felt bad because I pictured my mom finding out I thought such a ”vulgar” thought about her and shamed me for it

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Then picture her burping after shaming you. Who is ashamed now?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Camila have you pictured these things about me?

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Yes.

#you’re my childhood rival #I need to picture you doing gross human things so I feel superior

76 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I remember when my coach told me I reminded her of a singer she loved as a kid. That singer made her heart beat a lot… and that’s why she wanted me to pursue music because I reminded her of it.

Anyway I am theorizing if she had a crush on that singer and now she wants me to give a new generation of girls crushes with my sweet melodies.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

You're already giving this generation of girls crushes on you <3

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Define ”girls”. In plural. Haven’t seen or heard anyone except for Jim.

7 notes

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Tumblr is fun. I interact more with people I know irl on here than I do with them irl.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yeah, especially some people who you barely interact with irl and thus you don’t know them well enough to know it’s very obviously their Tumblr blog 🤣

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

He does not even seem to know the tumblr blogs of people he DOES interact with a lot irl. He may just suck at knowing people.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I know people!

I wish Gastón was here, he'd defend me.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

@rollertrack

🎥 rollertrack Follow

Oh hi. I’m here. I just don’t post a lot anymore I’m mostly here to send memes to people in DMs.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Can you help defend me from these people who tease me

🎥 rollertrack Follow

I always got your back, man 🙌🏼 But tbh it’s kind of funny how you aren’t figuring out who people are 😝 Some of these are so easy, and it’s people who I personally don’t talk to a lot either irl!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Come on man… give me some hints

14 notes

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

At the convention now and I found a nice pin that suited me 💜

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I love that so much! Wish I could have gone to the convention with you!

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Have you found any pin for me?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

I found three pins, all that I think represent us three specifically. Guess which one is yours

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Please tell me you’re not at the starcon…

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Oh i’m at the starcon! I’m not cosplaying or anything like that, and I’m into more niche things that I wouldn’t find here in the first place… however, I often end up finding something interesting, something I didn’t think I wanted. Like those pins, or sometimes VHS tapes of old stuff that are impossible to find, or are impossible to find with that dub.

Why? Are you there?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She is. She could go without even asking but not me because my dad can’t have control over her, but he refuses to let me do anything…

She’s also in cosplay >:3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I’m not in cosplay!!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She’s in cosplay ;) You’ll know exactly that it’s her when you see her

28 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Hey I found something interesting while at the con!

I have no idea what the actual babygirls are in that competition but I vote for @rollerskatingonthemoon

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

In that case I vote for you back! 😜

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yay may the best babygirl win!! 😍

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Why are you two like this

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

ÁMBAR IS A BABYGIRL TOO!!! VOTE FOR HER!!

💍 queenoftherink Follow

See this is why I don’t go to these cons. They make people weird.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

You’re missing out, we’re cosplaying Team Rocket right now and you would have made a perfect Meowth 😹

44 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

If my stepdaughter walks out in an astronaut outfit and cat ears, and having a spacy makeup, should I be concerned about that?

Or is it just the latest fashion?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

I have a new video idea 😁 And I wanna ask you guys here before I ask people irl.

For people with uteruses: If you told your parents you were pregnant today, how would they react?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

*wrecks the entire house in an angry rampage* ”WHAT?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!”

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

”Oh, who’s the father? Ha! Don’t tell me, it was just some random one, huh?”

Then she’d kind of accept it but make comments about me probably being unfit to raise a child (she tried to murder 3 people so idk if she’s the best example of how to be a good mother anyway)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

”I am going to assume you know what you’re doing, and that this was planned. I can provide you a room if you need to, but you have the responsibility yourself.”

It’s funny that I think that because

I live in a mansion with lots of rooms. I could be pregnant with quadruplets and everyone would have their own room

She doesn’t live here anymore

I guess I am just thinking more how she’d react back when she was the owner of the mansion. Like if she didn’t react like that then she’d maybe be supportive and then when the baby is born she tries to get custody of it or at least force me to live with her so she can be close to the child and influenser it.

But today I guess she’d just be like ”I’m happy” or something. She’s going through therapy. So am I because of the fact that she didn’t until now 😀👍

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

”Oh that’s great, sweetie. Want a cookie?”

(Then we would not discuss it more)

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I think my parents would be very happy for me, although because of my young age they’d act a bit cautious. But, they’d always be supportive ☺️ If the pregnancy was planned, I think they’d trust me that I’m ready, and if the pregnancy was unplanned, I think they’d support me in whatever choice I make about it.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

”Congratulations! Have you planned this for long? Do you know the donor?”

(in my case, I’d have to plan it and use a donor)

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Mom: ”You’re kidding! No!” *hugs me* ”Ok! Have you planned it? When’s the due date? Have you picked out a name? Have you bought everything for the nursery? Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? And you know the father is the father? No I’m just asking, sometimes I wonder if your dad is your dad… no, I didn’t cheat on him, but you know… maybe you were switched at birth.”

Dad: ”HI PREGNANT, I’M DAD! Oh, but wait, is it granddad now? No, because it’s YOU who is pregnant and YOU are my daughter, so yes, correct response…”

And bonus: My mom’s wife

”Aww, kisses in the air! Kisses at your belly! Wow! Maybe the child actually is red haired this time, we all thought you would be, but then your dad’s genes got too strong… or I don’t know.”

58 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Last night I dreamt I got triplets, and I made teeny tiny beanies for them.

Anyway anyone wanna make triplets with me? 🥹

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I’m up for adopting triplets and we can raise them together as best friends who are co-parents 😂 Like your cousin and his band

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I’m up for having 3 children with you (although I’d settle with 2 tbh) but not at ONCE

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Ok but… hear me out…

You two, and another person, are surrogates who give birth at the same time and then I’ll take all the babies and dress them up in beanies

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Yeah no, either get me pregnant and expect ONE child per pregnancy, or raise adopted children with Luna as your platonic co-parent

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Wait, why can’t he get Luna pregnant? 🤔

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I don’t want to

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

But why not? I thought you liked him 😉

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Jazmin, to keep this as simple as possible:

Luna and Simón are best friends and despite trying out some romance in the past, that’s all. They are very close and always will be close, but platonically. That’s why they won’t try for a baby, because they don’t have that relationship. If they raise a child it will be as platonic co-parents. And that child would most likely be adopted.

But me? Well… 😏

… Simón, actually, you wanna try for triplets? I can’t promise anything but come to my room in an hour

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Yay I can be a nanny for the potential triplets then 😁 Or one kid. Or twins.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

And Luna please leave the house for an hour or two

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Glad we solved this 🥳

Actually now I’m just excited if I end up with one kid 🤩

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Ok guys tmi

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Your existence is tmi

27 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I’m sure I can even turn straight girls a little sapphic 😏 /hj

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Hmm, has it ever happened?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Well we can start with you. When you wanted to promote my singing and you just wrote a long poem about how my voice takes you to other worlds…

I was very flattered but also you turned into Sappho’s descendant with your descriptions 🙃

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute…

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Wuh-oh

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Is this Luna’s secret side blog? Why else would Nina write about her singing?

Has Luna been dating Jim all this time?! And she fooled me by saying she ”barely interacted with me” to put me on the wrong path of figuring it out

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HELP no i’m not dating Luna

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Matteo is gonna go through every person ever before even considering me

📸 felicityfornow Follow

At this point, I'm wondering if Matteo's gonna find out in the most unexpected and random way.

17 notes

#those pins and also the other convention pictures are from an actual con I went to #(I didn’t cosplay or anything but it was fun going around finding stuff)#and I was like ’you know what? Now the characters need to go to a con’#violetta #soy luna #disney bia #if dcla characters had tumblr

7 notes · View notes

libidomechanica · 9 months

Text

Theres a moon is near

For those sweetest milk and the wood which at my hand? Oh yet we fared; and if therein. Darkness beauty and in the cycled time that keeps a thousand wave recalls, in changed, I think

of him in his coarser place; whereby his growth to meet star-sister slain, all for vengeance crie, are natural good; so subjects love just kings, with every act stood in the snow: and I

wake, and thou, dear pony! It is time, should most deare, was simply nor any of the good desert in the labour, and the stars. Alluring me a sweet, and with any Breath of

maidens gathering roses damask’d, till itself in me. It hold? For twenty-five years to contain; as in the breath. And you tell us Johnny’s in a servants were to pass

for ever, and lovely street, doors, where heart. And Betty is not vex thee, the bridge hung, shadow glory-crown’d. But who, like weeds of charity: but more than appetite, when Science

as a snowflake in the moonlight dale; and in thy harsher moods remit, whatever wanted your eccho ring. And forgot his work of the market in the shadows? Or when the

death succeeded life shall wane a man upon the glass and cancell’d, stricken thro’ the human strife diffused them, thou bring’st the even. I come to pass, it chanc’d a ringlet turn’d to

hear a wizard light from all he saw; he mixt with him whom she look’d on a lights, like a silent snow and the heart apace taketh his own; and what is ridiculous. Behold,

Tibullus lies, because I strove to have lost my ring, silver sleep of scythe in the heart a clown; the hardly worth wanting, other in thee and tumbled, while the mother never

once to obey. Ring out, wild bells, across vibes. And dust and dream of human face; no lower that foolish sleep as its smoothed all her splendid purpose nobly dear. And he, he knowes

no more’ and he that feed the white sheet, at rests with lasting first. Surprise a heap of sheet and bigness of the potter’s wheels the day, and as truly round. By the children shone;

for where the palms of loue that the circle, the rest to the stroke—If Johnny, never speak, yet every Muse to grieve, we now might have been in a wealthy peace, and like the rushy

lake, where a little speed of bodies in me; that clad her little starre. Nor let the moon’s in her beseemes that tend vpon her roof he might in the mist. And on a simple sports

at will soon o’er-gang ye. While to chivalry: when he finally tried to make, both near and with words, we conscience never a quiet—dull fence around, dark as a light-blue lane

has fetched her pony, that beat no more, are you nobly, mingles all the death-moth be the sun. The Lady Psyche, and dark squares the pulses of many ornaments, and by the

visibility poor, the breasts. None is discreet at all; if Eve did erre, it had presents, fast food. He somewhere, betraying his party- secret, fool, the grain by which seemed too

soon and quite regardless of peat and cease and turning to the crust, jutted than that runs, and throw troops into the mother, those other to the town, I found her by degrees the

meal. Thy blood which heaven like that are you that bright, when sparkle for other to dight, doe ye awaked, as it grew, for nothing in the moulded in threes, enringed with busy

care will be, tho’ I walk as once again, and he together—there was the snow: and dance am suffice: nor the ungracious numbers spend? For, with emotion, they are but

as he glow of sound: calm as to resound, no more of regret. And there are in more and clasp and sadly fell our Christians of thunderous Epic lilted out the city’s edge.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #115 texts #ballad

0 notes

indigoh4ze · 3 years

Text

use your words || t.n & d.m

warning- SMUT // face riding, blowjobs, mommy kink, d/s dynamic, a lot of praise, lmk what else

sub!draco x dom!theo x switch!fem!reader

a/n- i've never wrote for theo but this idea came to mind cuz i've been seeing alot of him sooo here it is! enjoy and send in some theo requests if you have any. also i tagged my draco taglist for now since i only just added theo

taglist | << add yourself to the theo taglist | turn on notifs on @slvt4fakerealities-library to be notified when i post

looking to your right, draco’s feet were draped over the arm of the couch, his head on your lap like your thighs were his own personal cushions.

theo, who sat on the left, was playing with the strings of his joggers mindlessly, and your head laid limp against his shoulder, fingers raking through the blond hair on your lap.

draco was beginning to get whiny, squirming as he turned to nose at your thighs, almost hitting your crotch- causing you to tense mildly and inhale sharply.

“dray, y’alright?” you questioned with a knowing gaze, coaxing him to look at you, which he did, though a pout was drawn onto his lips.

“wanna go t’bed, mommy,” theo now put his attention on draco, cocking his head and scanning his eyes over the boys state, a mess with glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

you looked over at theo for permission, wasting no time in bringing draco to his feet with the gentle touch of your hand on his bicep. once you all made your way over to draco’s private dorm, theo guided the both of you to the unmade bed.

draco immediately found shelter by your side, nuzzling into your neck and leaving wet kisses along your jawline, pulling quiet and breathy moans from your throat.

“how about you tell mommy what you want, dray, use your words like a good boy,” theo gently purred, now squatted in front of draco, two hands placed soundly on the boys knees, the pad of his thumb soothing circles.

draco seemed to hesitate, awfully flushed in this headspace, distracted by the intense whirling in his core. “w-wanna feel good,” he mumbled, though he was nudging so close to you that his words came out muffled.

it took theos strong grip on his jaw to steer him away from you, and you placed a hand on his thigh to relax his nerves. “c’mon now, be a good boy and then we can help you, alright?”

nodding, draco slowly parted his lips, “want you to touch me, please?”

“with what, baby?” now it was your turn to question, and draco looked up at you, gulping.

“dunno, mommy.”

but it was evident he did know, because he looked down and bit his lip, feeling even more nervous as all the eye were on him.

so you ran tender fingers through his hair and placed a kiss on his cheek, bringing him to lay back. the boy followed without question, then scrambled to meet your requests of discarding his shirt.

theo stood, doing the same and then moving onto his buckle, the metal clacking together and filling both you and draco with suspense of what’s to come.

“doll, wanna be a good girl and get on your knees?” theo insisted, and you practically fell to the floor, urgently doing as he asked, in return gaining a proud smile from the boy.

the brunet walked over, stroking a piece of hair behind your ears and then looking back at draco, who was sat up on his elbows and awaiting attention. “dray, how about you ask nicely, and y/n/n will make you feel really good?”

“p-please, wanna feel your mouth around my cock, waited all day f’you, please?” draco hastily blurted, a glimmer of lust molded into his gray eyes.

“good boy,” with the praise, draco’s heart swelled, and theo leaned down, tilting the boys chin up and placing a lingering kiss on his lips. draco melted into the kiss, desperately using his tongue and making theo grin slightly into the kiss before moving away.

you were simply watching from your knees, a pout constructing its way onto your lips at the lack of attention. as if reading your mind, theo spoke, “go on, bunny, suck him off like a good girl and then i’ll make that little ache in your tummy go away, how does that sound?” his soft spoken words and vibrant visage had you nodding eagerly. as a reward for your obedience, theo mirrored his previous actions, leaving a kiss on your lips and pecking them once more for extra effect.

theo aides draco in taking off his undergarments, and now it was your turn to comply to theos requests, signaling draco to move closer to the edge of the bed so you could get the perfect angle of his cock from your kneeled position. he was gripping the silk sheets with a strong hand, watching the way you took his cock in your hand and began to set a rhythm around it. your simple actions drew soft whimpers from the boy, and theo watched from where he was leaning against the wall, cock straining against the material of his boxers.

“does that feel good, dray?” you inquired, and draco nodded quickly.

“words, dray,” theo reminded the boy from the side.

“y-yeah, feels really g-good mommy,” his sentence ended with a yelp as you brought the tip of his cock between your lips, the warm muscle stroking it before fully submerging it inside the warmth of your mouth.

draco released a lewd moan, and in the corner of your eye you saw the licentious smirk drawn on theos lips, which had your cunt throbbing through your panties even more. the boy in front of you had his eyes closed, though he couldn’t keep them shut for long as he wanted to watch how well you took him.

pre-cum dribbled from his tip, and you gagged lightly around him as theo padded over to assist you - holding back your hair in a makeshift pony tail and guiding your head so his cock slid gingerly through your swollen lips. a few bucks of his hips was all it took for him to become a moaning mess, whines spilling freely off his tongue with less shame, eyes unable to keep off the sight of theos lips attaching themselves to the flesh behind your ear every now and then.

soon, draco was emptying inside your mouth, cock driving into you one last time before he dissolved into pleasure. you dragged the climax out as long as you could before gasping for air, licking your lips and lulling your tongue out for theo to show him you swallowed everything.

theo gave you a pleased smile and an affectionate kiss on your temple before standing to sit by draco. “feelin’ better?” theo queried with a lopsided grin.

“much,” draco nodded, kissing theos cheek and then looking down at you. “thank you, mommy.”

“of course, love,” you were standing now, giving the silver haired boy a kiss and then looking at theo expectantly.

“i want you to ride my face now, angel, sound good?”

“yes please.” you said with eager eyes.

“good,” theo breathily chuckled, “and draco, you’re gonna be a good boy and suck me off, yeah?”

once draco had responded with just as much eagerness- enthusiastic at any chance to pleasure his boyfriend- it had begun.

theo’s on his back, your flimsy panties discarded along with your shirt, and draco between theos legs and in front of his now exposed cock. slight hesitation came over you before you managed to maneuver yourself above theo’s face. the heat of his breath fanned against your cunt and you shivered from that alone, non stop blood rushing through your body.

finally, theo’s lips connected with your folds, already soaked from your arousal. his tongue worked deliciously against them, opening your lips and gaining access to your bundle of nerves, suctioning the nub with fervor. draco began his ministrations on theo’s cock, which had the brunet groaning into your pussy.

moans were pouring out of your mouth, fingers intertwining with the strings of hair at theo’s scalp, your free hand gripping the top of the bed frame as you slightly rolled your hips against his mouth. draco was speeding up, which meant theo was gaining more and more pleasure, resulting in you shivering from the stimulation.

“fuck�� theo, right there!” you gasped as his tongue flicked the perfect spot repeatedly, swirling and sucking as wet noises echoed throughout the room, along with other sounds of groans and moans.

lifting your hips from theo’s grasp for a second, the boy peered up at you through half lidded eyes, rosy cheeks and disheveled hair making your thighs quiver. “c’mon, love, ‘m not finished tasting your sweet pussy,” he rasped, digging his fingertips into the fat of your ass before pulling you back towards him, this time not letting you escape his clutch.

theo’s tongue worked rapidly against your cunt, eventually sheathing it into your fluttering walls, and drawing a lewd whimper from the pit of your chest, “i’m coming— theo fuck, fuck please,” you were begging and blabbering as arousal dripped from your cunt and smeared itself around theo’s mouth. your orgasm took over, your body going limp as you held onto the headboard firmly and threw your head back in ecstasy.

just as you did so, draco swirled his skillful tongue around theo’s length, taking all of him and getting theo to his peak. his moans into your overworked cunt were heaven and hell, sensitivity and pleasure swirling within you as you panted above him.

eventually removing your cunt from his mouth, you sat on his bare stomach, soaking the outline of his abs with your slick, your lips puffy and achy against him.

draco lift his head up, kissing your hip from behind and then sitting up fully. theo released a sigh before sitting up, grabbing your by your underarms and pulling you down into a sloppy kiss- the taste of your juices still on his tongue- then settled you onto his chest. he outstretched an arm for draco to join- the boy crawling towards you and snuggling close to theo’s chest as well, your faces turned towards eachother.

you looked up at theo, dotting a kiss near his chin and doing the same to draco’s forehead, then settling back onto the boys comforting warmth and allowing your eyes to flutter shut from exhaustion. the last thought that went through your head before sleep fully overtook you was,

i’ll worry about the mess later.

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theringers · 3 years

Text

marked up - charles leclerc

summary: you meet him at a club & take him home, but it turns out you both like to be in charge

warnings: 18+ NSFW, lots & lots, read at ur own risk, rough sex

You were surrounded by the loud boom of the DJ and the sweaty bodies of your friends as you all danced together in the club. You had been vacationing in London and met up with a group of guys at the club.

You had taken a liking to one of them, stealing glances across the room and winking whenever he got the opportunity to.

He walked over to you and held out his hand. “I’m Charles,” he said. “Great to meet you.”

You introduced yourself to him and continued talking. You learned about what he does for a living and where he’s from and you shared the same information about yourself with him.

Later in the night, the club began to get packed with more people. You would think that the crowd would die down the later it got, but apparently it’s the opposite.

He leaned in and whispered in your ear. "What do you say we get out of here?"

You nodded, at a loss for words. You’re never at a loss from words after that much alcohol. He grabbed your hand and slowly led you towards the exit of the club, hoping to not cause a stir with your group.

You pass the bouncer and give him a wave as you leave and start to follow the streets of London. You never knew how beautiful this city could truly be. You were unsure in the moment of whether it was the alcohol in your system or the hand you were holding.

You could tell Charles had a bit to drink as well. You continued to hear him speak French under his breath here and there, even though he knew you didn't speak it. You giggled and looked at him which caught his attention. "What's so funny?" He smiled.

You shook your head slowly. "Nothing. You're cute, that's all." You directed your gaze back down to the sidewalk.

He muttered under his breath again, but this time it was definitely English. "I'm not gonna be cute in a couple minutes now," he said quietly, and laughed.

"What was that?" You asked, hoping to get him to repeat himself so you could acknowledge what he said. Instead, he just shook his head and kept walking.

The streets of London were still surprisingly packed at this hour. Friends wandered down streets and alleyways laughing like this was a regular night for them. This certainly felt like a regular night out for you, but you felt safer even despite your state of inebriation.

Charles looked just as in awe of the surroundings as you did. "Is this your first time in London?" He asked. His hand was still tangled with yours when he began to swing your arms back and forth like a child.

"Yes, actually. And it's living up to my expectations for sure." You smiled at him.

"I'm glad it is. I've been here a few times," he stopped and stumbled over his own feet, almost bringing you to the ground with him.

You broke out in laughter and clapped your hands together as he looked at you in shame. You almost felt bad until he began to laugh as well. Charles stood up, dusted himself off, grabbed your hand, and continued walking down the lit street.

He pointed forwards at a hotel entrance with his free hand and led you inside. The bright lights and white decor shocked your eyes before entering the elevator. He pressed the floor button as you descended up to his room. You weren’t sure what to say in this moment and you could only hope that the silence was comforting to him. You looked around the elevator, seeing things move around inside your eyes and trying to focus. Convincing yourself that you're sober is pretty difficult when you're not.

The door opened and you followed him through the carpeted halls. He grabbed a key out from his pocket and swiped it to open the door. "Home sweet home, baby." He gestured to the room as you walked in. As soon as the door closed, you felt a different energy from him. His eyes looked hungry as he looked your body up and down. You took a step backwards, against the door and did the same to him, finishing your glare at his face, focused on his lips.

"You are so sexy," he said, taking a step forward. His hand found your cheek before his lips crashed to yours.

You turned your head slightly, kissing him back. Your free hands went to his hair, pulling on his locks with need. He tasted incredible, even after a long night of drinking. You pulled his head away from your lips and down to your neck as he sucked on your skin. There was definitely going to be marks tomorrow.

His mouth lifted from yours and he spoke breathlessly. "Are you trying to get me to mark you up?"

You smirked. "Would it be the worst thing?"

He was just as devilish as you were. "Absolutely not." He made his way back to your neck. His hands trailed down your body, reaching the hem of your dress. His hand snaked under the hem and went to your backside. "You have an incredible ass," he said between kisses. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you felt that intense feeling growing in your abdomen. You pushed him back and took a few steps towards the bed before pushing him again onto the soft white comforter.

You straddled his lap. Your dress rolled up your legs and eventually rested around your waist leaving you bare. His hands found your ass again as you kissed him roughly. He pulled your body closer to him and you began to rock back and forth on his lap. "Shit, baby," he said between kisses. "I want you to ride me."

A smile formed across your face. "We don't always get what we want now do we?" You continued the motion on his lap, grinding harder and faster. You knew you were driving him crazy and it was getting to be too much for him to handle. He grabbed you and flipped you around so he was on top.

"I don't want you to think you're the one in control now, baby." He looked down at you with lust. You pulled him in for another kiss, but he resisted. He backed up off of the bed and began unbuttoning his shirt before tossing it to the side.

His lips found your legs as he began kissing up your body and crawling closer to you. His hand dipped into your underwear as he reached your inner thighs.

His fingers began tracing circles around your clit, sending shockwaves through your body. It had been months since anyone touched you like this. You tried to speak but the only thing that came out was a moan. His fingers lit your body up into flames.

"That's right," he said. A finger slowly found its way towards your entrance before slipping inside.

"Fuck," You moaned.

He followed suit. "I love to hear you moan for me baby." He entered another finger inside of you, hitting you in just the right spot. You rolled your eyes back, being shocked again when you felt his mouth on your clit.

You looked down to see his head buried between your thighs, going to work with intensity. "Jesus, Charles," You threw your head back again. He continued to work your body close while your legs wrapped around his back. You arched your back as you could feel something building inside of you. A moan escaped your lips followed by a few expletives.

His fingers worked inside of you and his tongue lapped around your core. He looked up at you, making eye contact while continuing all of these motions. He might be the hottest man you’ve ever seen in this moment.

He quickly sent you over the edge and you tried to recover before you pulled at him to get on the bed. Again, he resisted. "Baby, I'm in charge tonight." He flipped your body around so you were on your stomach. A sweet stinging sensation was felt on your ass as he grabbed your hips and pulled you up on all fours.

You heard the sound of foil ripping and he was soon inside of you. His pace was hard and rough and he felt so good inside of you.

Your arms felt like they were going to give out, so you leaned your head down on the bed as he pounded into you from behind. A low growl escaped his throat as you felt your head being tugged back up by your hair.

"Shit, you feel so good," he said with one hand gripping your ass and the other holding your hair in a makeshift pony tail.

"Fuck," You moaned, your body rocking back and forth before you began to feel that familiar feeling again. "Charles-" A hard smack on your ass stopped your speech but ultimately sent you over the edge.

He continued to work inside of you before his pace quickened and eventually slowed.

Your body fell onto the bed in exhaustion as he walked to the bathroom to clean up.

You woke up the next morning with an arm draped over your side. You turned behind you to see a peaceful Charles still asleep. You didn't want to wake him but your head was spinning. You tried to get out of his grip but he eventually started to stir awake. "Good morning beautiful," he said in a rugged morning voice.

You smiled at him as you pulled the covers up and walked towards the bathroom. You passed the full length mirror, noticing my naked body covered in purple and red marks. Your hair was a mess but somehow your makeup was still intact. You looked towards Charles on the bed and saw him already staring at you with a smirk on his face. "Look at you," he said.

You shook your head and laughed. "I'm going to hop in the shower real quick."

He promptly jumped out of bed. "I'll join you if it's alright?" He asked.

You nodded to him and started the shower, the bathroom filling with steam. He walked into the bathroom behind you and got a closer look at your body. "I think seeing you marked up by me is getting me hard again."

You turned around and looked at him before dropping to your knees. "Well, why don't we do something about that."

#charles leclerc #charles smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc smut #cl #f1 smut #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

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talesofstyles · 3 years

Text

Drs Styles

paediatric heart surgeon harry, husband harry and dad harry. honestly the holy trinity.

warning: they did it in the car. bloody animals.

Harry

“Move your car, please!”

“What are you going to do? Write me a ticket?”

“This is in the interests of safety for the children!”

I look at the time in the car. I’ve still got about twenty to twenty-five minutes to watch this drama unfold at the school gate. I just wish we had popcorn because drop-off and parking situations at the school gates are always more entertaining than Good Morning Britain.

The school gate is a strange social scene, and honestly, I don’t blame my wife for trying to avoid it like a plague. Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk to these people to know everything about their lives and more. I swear there are more gossips in the class WhatsApp group and daily playground chattering than in the copies of The Sun and Daily Mail combined. You know who’s married, who’s getting a divorce, whose husband shagged the au pair again, whose party you haven’t been invited to, even who’s looking for a builder.

I see the school caretaker chuckling to himself as he sweeps the autumn leaves off the pathway, no doubt also enjoying our morning entertainment.

“Why is Mrs Chambers screaming like that?” Alma, our eldest daughter, asks from the back of the car.

“Because that man parks his car in a drop-off zone,” I reply, still watching him as he removes a child from his car seat. “Do you know who that is?”

“I think the boy is your classmate,” Alma turns to her sister.

Fiona, our youngest, peers over to inspect. “Oh yeah, that’s Rufus and his dad.”

“Do we like Rufus?”

“Not unless we like boys who pee down the slides,” Fiona scrunches her nose up. “He stood at the top and peed down like a waterfall. I haven’t gone down the slide ever since.”

I shake my head and let out a chuckle. “M’sure they’ve cleaned it up since, button.”

Did you know that choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience? Well, it can. How is one supposed to choose a school anyway? According to the proximity? Leavers Results? Adorable uniforms? Parents’ agendas?

After many, many discussions and visits through more schools than I can count, we ended up with Thomas’s Kensington. It’s a great school, and only ten minutes away from our home, making school runs easier. The downside of this school is the fact that it costs us an arm and a leg and that they’re always trying to rip us off any chance they get. Also, they only take the kids until 11, so after that, we’ll have to look for other schools again. But since our girls are only seven and five, we can worry about that later.

There’s a strange mix of parents at this place. I went to school up in the North and the school gate scene is nothing like this. Here there are more au pairs, fancy cars, nicer clothes and people coming with impressive tans from their last weekend break in Antibes. The kids here are suited up too: the PE kit is the size of a small weekender bag, and we put them in uniforms that make them look smart, hoping that will increase the size of their brains. A child walks past our car with a cello case, another with a hockey stick. It’s a different land here. One that my socialist in-laws constantly tease us about and one which my mum was hysterical about because she was scared her grandbabies would be little Tories. I promised her I’d keep them grounded by only giving them plain hobnobs. None of those luxury chocolate covered ones.

Jokes aside, my girls are happy here. They’re thriving. They learn French and Spanish and Mandarin, even if they share a class with kids who have ridiculous names like Kitty and Archibald.

A knock at my window calls me to attention. I wind it down.

“Are you Fiona’s dad?” A mum asks me.

“I am.”

“It’s about Ophelia’s riding party this Saturday at the riding stables.”

Like I said, it’s a different land here.

“I thought we RSVPed to that?” I look at her in confusion.

“Yes, you did, but we have to change the food options as one of the partygoers is allergic to nuts. I’m making everyone aware and we need to let the guests know that they can’t bring any nuts on the day.”

A dirty joke is right there on the tip of my tongue and I’m trying my hardest to keep it in. My wife would definitely find it funny though, I’ve got to remember this and tell her later.

“Noted,” I mean, I wasn’t going to send my daughter to a party with a packet of cashews anyway but I nod politely.

“And just gift vouchers for gifts please. Smiggle, if you can.”

Again, I nod, biting my tongue at the presumptuousness. But then I suddenly panic, because we haven’t entered the realms of pony riding just yet. Do I have to buy jods and boots? If I don’t, will my daughter be the odd one out? But Ophelia’s mum saunters off before I’ve got the chance to ask.

“Do I have to go to that party, daddy?” Fiona asks.

“Well, we’ve already replied, poppet,” I tell her. “Did you not want to go?”

“I’ll go if I have to.”

I don’t answer because I get distracted by a vacant space. I edge the car forward so my girls can hop off.

“I love you both. Have a good day, make good choices.”

“Bye daddy! We’ll see you after work!”

***

Evelina London Children’s Hospital is our second home. Of course, as a children’s hospital, we try to make the place as fun as possible as not to freak those little patients out at being ill. It is bright and primary coloured, and each ward is decorated according to its own theme with different colours and lovely artworks. There are televisions and toys almost in every corner. We have a giant slide on the ground floor, and even the bins are shaped like red London buses. The aim was to help the children to forget that they’re in a hospital and take their minds off their sickness.

Since my wife and I are in the same department, our offices are next to each other, both overlooking the Thames. It’s nice up here. Would’ve been nicer if we could sneak in a quickie, but that’s practically impossible with our shared secretary’s desk sitting literally in front of our doors.

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning. Here’s your tea,” my secretary follows me into my office with a cup of tea and a tiny plate with a couple of rich tea fingers. “Clinic until 3 pm, scheduled PDA ligation in the laboratory for 4 pm and then evening rounds on the wards.”

“Mornin’ Rhonda, you look lovely today,” I greet her cheerily. She’s a stern-looking woman who definitely likes her tea as strong as tits and who has probably never cried in her life. With such severity, she runs a tight ship, but she secretly has this affectionate side in her too. Not only is she a great secretary, but she also takes care of us in a way as a grandma does. She makes us tea, feeds us in between surgeries with biscuits or nice baby cheeses and crackers just so we wouldn’t starve.

See that sofa over there in the corner of my office? Rhonda got me that. It was around the time when I had just become a new father with the sweetest, most gorgeous little baby who did not sleep. Alma wasn’t a fussy baby though. For some reason, she just wouldn’t go back to sleep after her midnight feed for months. Believe me, I tried everything. I changed her nappy, I swayed and jiggled and rocked and sung her to sleep. Odd nonsensical songs like, ‘Alma darling go to sleeep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Pleeeeease. I’m so tirrrred. My eyeballs may actually exploooode. I don’t want you to see thaaat.’ And she would just look at me all wide-eyed like I’d lost the plot. Those were song lyrics? That was rubbish. Please don’t give up your day job. Also, it’s not sleeping time. I’m awake. I’m ready for life. Come on, entertain me, old man. Isn’t this nice, just you and me? Tell me everything you know. EVERYTHING.

Except of course she didn’t say all that. She would just stare at me and I had no idea what was going on in her little head.

I took over my wife’s patients at the hospital during her maternity leave, so I had longer hours at the hospital. One day Rhonda found me napping on the floor between surgeries, so she sweet-talked some porters into looking for any old sofas on the go and paid to have this one reupholstered. She even bought me a fleece throw for it too. We really don’t deserve her.

“You hittin’ on me?” She deadpans. “Yer wife not doing it for you these days?”

“It’s the blazer. I’m a sucker for a blazer.”

“If I’d known, I would’ve worn it more often,” she replies. “Did my nice dress yesterday not give you the fanny flutters?”

“It’s schlong shiver for me,” I roar with laughter. “And it’s the tartan, makes you look well old.”

“YN, yer husband’s a bloody git, did I ever tell you that?” Rhonda says loud enough for my wife to hear, and I can hear my wife’s laughter from her office next door. “Drink your tea. Your first clinic appointment is in twenty.”

“Yes ma’am,” I salute her.

***

The Arctic ward in the Evelina is home to many of our imaging, heart and kidney services. The name is probably giving it away, but everything is decorated in blue and white to go with the theme. We have several zones, and since paediatric cardiology clinics are held in the Walrus zone, I spend a great deal of time each day looking at walrus and snowflake decals.

“Doctor Styles!” I hear a little voice shouts in excitement as I walk towards the waiting room in the outpatient ward. I smile, because I recognise that voice even before I see the little person.

The waiting room is very open here compared to other hospitals. There’s a sea of noise, snacks, tiny juice boxes and colouring pages. There’s also always a look of expectation, judgement on the faces of parents and guardians every time I walk in. They want to see if their doctor is old or qualified enough to see their children. There’s always one child who has the whole gang with them; parents, two sets of grandparents and even several aunts and uncles, and there’s also at least one child running around in circles out of boredom.

This little lad bounces off his chair and hurls himself at me in a way like a little puppy would when its owner comes home from work. I put an arm out, hoping that he’ll apply the brakes but no such luck and he bundles himself into my arms. “Nice to see you, mate.”

His parents smile as they watch their son’s antics, who then runs off as I shake their hands. I turn around to see what caught his attention, and I can’t help but chuckle when I realise it’s my wife.

“Doctor pretty Styles!” He exclaims excitedly as he bundles himself into her arms. She gets a mouthful of curls in the process.

“Hi Rory,” she greets him as she runs her fingers through his curly mop.

“Oi,” I pout as I walk towards them. “You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“Your wife is prettier,” he says with a shrug, his tone matter-of-fact.

She laughs and gives him a high-five. “Rory, you are officially my favourite patient.”

She is right. Rory is one of our special patients for sure. We’ve both known him for about six years now, ever since Rory’s mum gave birth to this tiny human next door at St Thomas and his heart was literally broken. I remember watching proudly from the theatre when my wife replaced two of his valves when he was born. It was in our early years of training. Long time patients like Rory almost always feel like family. We’ve seen all their parents’ tears and watched over their children throughout the years. They send us cards and wine every Christmas and despite all attempts to keep a professional distance, their kids do feel like our own.

Rory shrugs off his dinosaur rucksack and unzips it, pulling out a drawing of a blue whale and an opened packet of KitKat. I like that the whale wears a top hat and appears to also don a moustache.

“I drew you both a picture. Only one though, because I figure you can share,” he says with a big toothy grin and hands the packet of KitKat to my wife. “And I’ve got half a KitKat here. Do you want it?”

“I’m good for now. Keep that KitKat for later on the tube,” she smiles and waves at Rory as she begins to walk away towards the fetal cardiology ward just down the hall. “Bye Rory, thanks for the picture.”

“Bye doctor pretty Styles,” Rory replies, making my wife laugh as she walks away. I give her a wave and a wink.

“Hey Rory, did you know a blue whale has a heart the size of a small car?” I ask him and his eyes widen.

“No way! That’s mega!” He exclaims. “Do you think you could operate on a whale heart?”

“I would need a very big ladder,” I tell him. “And a wetsuit. I’d give it a go though.”

A senior nurse from the outpatient ward, Florence approaches us with a junior nurse trailing behind her. “Dr Styles, always a pleasure.”

I smile at her. “Florence. How are we today?”

“Busy as usual,” she replies. “We’re about twenty minutes behind I’m afraid. We had Dr Goodridge in this morning and you know he likes to talk.”

“He always runs over,” I chuckle. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and get us back up to speed.”

“I’ll make sure to send some snacks for you. Here’s your chart, your files are already in your office. And this is Alice, your nurse today. She’s newly qualified so might need some instructions.”

The new nurse looks terrified so I smile at her to try and calm her fears. I totally get that. When you work in medicine, unfortunately, you’ll realise that there are a lot of rude self-important wankers.

I look down at my chart and find Rory’s name on the top of the list. “Well, look who’s coming with me to the exam room.”

Rory reaches out to hold my hand and we walk towards the examination room. His parents follow us closely, carrying the usual coats and devices that people do when they know they’re bound for a hospital waiting room. I see them inside and sit behind the desk.

“So, young man, I hear we’ve had a touch of drama with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

I’ve actually already got the information in the file, but I like the way this kid tells a story. He reminds me of my youngest.

“So… I was at school and we were doing PE and I wasn’t really feeling it because it was cold and really we should have been inside but Mr Witter makes us go outside because he used to be in the Army apparently and he says we should get used to the cold but that’s what they do in prisons.”

I smile. “Go on.”

“And then my heart started running.”

“You mean racing?”

He nods firmly. Racing isn’t even the word. It sprinted to the finish like Bolt at 252 beats per minute, three times the speed it should.

“It felt like bubbles in my chest and then the school went crazy panicky and they called the ambulance and they brought me to the hospital but not this one, it was another one and it wasn’t as good because you weren’t there and they had really bad biscuit.”

His mum adds. “And they gave him some drugs to bring it back to a steady rhythm; they were close to shocking him.” Her voice trails off and both parents’ faces look drawn and pale remembering the incident.

Rory looks absolutely unbothered by this. To be fair, we have put this little man through everything. We’ve cut his chest open more times than is necessary for someone so small, we hook him up to machines and put him on treadmills. His resilience and character amaze me, and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to see your child so vulnerable and helpless, to be paralysed and weighed down with such worry.

“Alright then, little man, we need to make sure that your heart is working as it should. This is Alice, and she is going to take you over for an ECG and we just need to make sure your tick-tock is in good shape.”

Rory nods and jumps off the chair. His dad offers him a piggyback, and his mum smiles at them. I can hear Rory offering that half KitKat to Alice as they leave the room.

His mother turns to me as the door is closed, her shoulders relaxing, allowing herself to breathe. “And how are you?” I ask her.

“You just think it’s done and then something like that comes along to scare you,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s have these tests and then see if it’s anything major to worry about,” I try to calm her. “Episodes of rapid heartbeat is quite common in Rory’s case, and we can look into drugs to remedy that if necessary.”

She smiles, nodding.

“Did you have any other questions for me?”

She studies my face for a moment too long. “I… well, it will show up in Rory’s records soon, but my husband I are… I mean we’re getting a divorce.”

I pause for a moment. Of course, I know these things happen in life, but I’ve known this couple for years. I’ve seen them at their lowest ebb, bound by friendship and their love for that boy. I really do feel sorry for them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“We just… we’re terrified about telling Rory.”

“He doesn’t know?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “We’re scared of breaking him. I mean, look at him. All of this stuff he’s been through and he carries on like nothing has happened. We don’t want to upset him.”

“It took a team of us the best part of six years to build Rory’s heart. There's a warranty on that workmanship,” I reassure her. “Have that chat with him. He’ll be fine.”

***

“Have we got time for dinner first?” I turn to my wife as we walk out of the hospital. We don’t normally have the luxury of ending our shift at the same time, but today is exceptional. We have parents’ evening at the girls’ school so Rhonda made sure to clear up our schedule after our evening rounds at the ward.

“No, but we can raid M&S and eat in the car?”

I’m starving and I almost cry with relief at the suggestion. “Always knew I married the right woman.”

She chuckles. “Damn right you did.”

We leave the car at the hospital and she drags me along the walkways to Waterloo, the breeze biting at our cheeks. I pull her into M&S, dodging the marching commuters and grab a basket.

“I’ll look for some wine,” she says before she saunters off. “Oh and I want sushi. None of that crap with the mayonnaise please.”

“Alright.”

I skipped lunch today so the whole place calls to me. I start taking very random things off the shelves: a packet of raspberry iced buns. That’ll do. I also take some hummus for my wife because she bloody loves hummus. I’m not even joking, I’ve seen her down a whole pot of it. Then I take some sushi as requested, some coleslaw, a family bag of mature cheddar and red onion crisps and a trifle. I hope I don’t bump into Rhonda. Next are cheese twists, noodle salad and cocktail sausages.

It takes me a while to notice that there is a man right next to me with a roll of yellow stickers in their back pocket. Hello there, you are one of my favourite people tonight. Have I managed to find that sacred hour when all the food is being marked down? He labels some prawns with dip and even though I get a little squeamish about eating fish near its expiry date, I put it in my basket. I then follow him around the corner. Now, this is dinner. I put all sorts of random food in my basket and smile at the thought.

Ooh, knockdown pizzas. I should get a pizza. That’s tomorrow’s tea sorted, the girls will love it. Although I can’t help but wonder, what’s the limit for us to feed our daughters frozen pizza in a week before they get taken away from us? But eh, we might be able to get away with it if we give them frozen peas on the side.

“Look at you,” says my wife, depositing two bottles of red in the basket.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m the yellow sticker bitch.”

She snickers as we turn to head for the tills. “Excellent work.”

***

“Mr and Mrs Styles, welcome.”

“Mrs Ebner, always a pleasure,” I shake the headmistress’ hand who’s standing at the door.

“Busy evening?” My wife asks her as she shakes her hand next.

“Always,” the headmistress replies with a smile, then proceeds to speak like she’s reading out of brochures. “But such a wonderful opportunity to connect with our parents and build on the special relationships we have with our school community.”

Two uniformed minions appear.

“Lewis, Maggie, could you please show Mr and Mrs Styles through to the drinks reception?”

They both nod in unison. The boy holds his arms out like a waiter showing us to our table. We follow them through the school’s grand corridors to the main hall. It’s the one thing I like about this place. It’s very Hogwarts-like with hefty engraved name boards and sepia photos of successful sports teams. In the hall, a throng of parents mill around waiting to see respective teachers. It’s the same every year. We all dodge the people from the PTA trying to sell us quiz tickets, and the bowls of crisps out of hygiene concerns.

“Red or white?” Asks a lady in an apron.

This right here is the very reason we get through parents’ evening. From the look of the bottle, it’s decent wine too. I think that’s where a good proportion of our fees is going.

“Red, please.”

We both take our glasses and walk to the corner of the hall. It’s essentially a holding area without the background music. The idea is that all the parents will get on and create a party vibe but it just becomes a strange family gathering. As terrible as it sounds, it’s sorted into cliques: parents who know each other via NCT groups, the international expat brigades who keep to themselves, the parents who’ve ostracised themselves by gossip, the ones who you know regularly brunch and ski together.

The boy from earlier suddenly appears in front of us. “Mrs Hughes is ready for you.”

I put my hand on the small of my wife’s back as we walk towards the classroom. Fiona’s teacher first and then Alma’s straight after. Right, we can do this.

“Mrs Hughes, we meet again,” I shake her hand. I’ve got no qualms about Mrs Hughes. She’s a seasoned teacher who likes a slack and sensible moccasin and we’re familiar with her since she taught Alma two years previously. When we enter the classroom, Lewis bows in reverence, taking his leave and I wonder whether to tip him.

“It’s always lovely to have another Styles girl in my classroom. Fiona is a particular delight.”

My wife and I smile proudly. I’m sure Mrs Hughes says this to every parent here about their child, but that’s always nice to hear.

“She talks a lot about you,” my wife says. “She seems to have settled in well.”

Mrs Hughes opens up a couple of books and it’s classic Fiona. Alma is ordered and neat—if she makes a mistake then she erases it completely and she underlines things with a ruler and listens to instruction carefully. She gets that from her mum. Fiona though, on the other hand, she’s all me. She has more wild abandon about her; no rulers, no rubbers. She puts giant crosses through things that don’t work and likes her bubble writing decorated with doodles of many, many cats.

I glance around the classroom as Mrs Hughes talks to us about standardised scores. The theme of the school is to show you how smart and educated these children are. Look at the copperplate handwriting, their reproductions of Van Gogh and our languages corner where they’ve all had a go at telling us what they like in French. I spy a contribution from my girl. J’adore les chats et le gâteau au chocolat.

I’ve lost track of the conversation so I try to catch up.

“So to push Fiona into those top scores, perhaps we can look into tutoring? For maths, in particular, so she can grasp some of the concepts a little more tightly,” says Mrs Hughes.

My wife and I look at each other confused. “Uh, I don’t think there’s a need, right? She’s only five.”

“It’s never too early,” replies Mrs Hughes. “We run an after-school tutoring club on Tuesdays that would help.”

Back when I was a youngster, clubs were fun endeavours that involved matching baseballs caps or were a chocolate biscuit that you had in your lunchbox. Maths tutoring session was not a club.

I ask her. “Is it free?”

“It’s fifteen pounds per session.”

See? My point being this should be a parents’ evening, not a sales session.

“Well, then it’s something to think about,” says my wife. “It could be that Fiona catches up with people throughout the year.”

“Possibly,” Mrs Hughes nods. Still, though, she proceeds to go into her folder and passes me a form. Sneaky. “Fiona has also shown great interest in languages and art. Her pictures have been a joy.”

Mrs Hughes goes to a file and pulls one of Fiona’s drawings. I glance down at it. It’s a standard child piece of art. The grass and sky are strips of colour to the top and bottom. It’s a family portrait, and we are as tall as the broccoli style trees. Wait, hang on a second. I count the number of people in the picture again. Is that-

“And Mrs Styles, I gather congratulations are in order,” she says with a smile. “Such lovely news.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fiona told me it’s a boy,” she adds, and the sheer terror on my wife’s face at the realisation is priceless. “You must be very thrilled.”

I study the picture. There’s a house in the middle, and standing in a line in front of the house is our family. The one slightly taller than the broccoli tree is me. I’ve got my white lab coat, and I look like a serial killer because I’m holding a scalpel with the size of a butcher’s knife. Next to me is my wife, also with a white lab coat, but instead of a scalpel, she’s holding a very chunky baby who rather looks like a basketball with a head.

“Oh dear,” I chuckle. “Guess now we know what she’ll ask for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” my wife shakes her head. “We’re not expecting.”

“Oh, I apologise,” Mrs Hughes says with a sheepish smile.

“No worries, Mrs Hughes,” I tell her. “So, what else has our girl been up to here? Besides gossiping of course.”

Mrs Hughes laughs under her breath. “Well, in class, Fiona is attentive, bright and very helpful. She is a credit to you both.”

***

“I swear your daughter, Styles.”

We’re sitting in the car now. Finally done with parents’ evening, still laughing at the slightly creepy, chunky basketball baby in Fiona’s picture and the fact that three people, including Mrs Hughes, have congratulated us for the ‘baby’.

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to the good ol’ days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt.

“Well, after that I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would be confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige.

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to her and gives me a kiss. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

The next thing I know, she undoes her seatbelt and then rolls her trousers down her legs along with her knickers, fumbling and giggling at the awkward movement. I push my seat back and pull my trousers down.

“Don’t fall on gearstick now,” I joke as she climbs over to straddle me. “Well, unless you want to, of course…”

She laughs as she lowers herself over my lap. I really can’t believe what’s happening here.

“Mrs Styles, we’re about to have sex in a car. Around the corner from our daughters’ school.”

“I know,” she says with a smile before she runs her tongue along my neck. “Not our first rodeo though.”

“Oh right, we did it in our Volvo years ago, didn’t we? Thought the suspension couldn’t take it.”

“And it turned out fine. Told you that you needed to have more faith in the Swedes, they’re a reliable breed.”

“I love it when you talk about Sweden.”

“Ikea.”

“Fuck.”

“Meatballs.”

“Billy Bookcase.”

She throws her head back in laughter and I take this as an opportunity to run my tongue along her collar bone. She gasps. I reach down to lift her before I slowly lower her over my cock. We both sigh as I enter her, a long exhalation with our lips barely touching.

“Viggo Mortensen.”

“Isn’t he Danish?”

“Tomato, Tomahto.”

I smile at my wife and push my hips up, silently telling her that we don’t need to talk about Swedish people anymore. She grabs onto the car seat and levers herself up and down. I look at her in the eye, a goofy smile still plastered across my face.

But then I squint. Light. Bollocks, what’s that? Where’s that light coming from? Crap, that’s bright. Shit. I see the flash of a hi-vis jacket, a knock at the window and someone shaking their head.

Oh sodding fucking bollocking shit wank.

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