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#it feels weird bc it ends kind of sweet
netherfeildren · 11 months
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Kiss, Kiss, Kill, Kill!
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Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Summary: Joel is a long haul truck driver. One day he finds a pretty girl in a diner and decides he’d like to keep her. 
Murder and sex ensue!
Rating: Explicit 18+
Content Warnings: No outbreak; Graphic depictions of violence; Murder; Blood; Gore; Threat of SA; Impotence; Unprotected sex; Creampie; Loss of virginity; Virginity kink; Breeding kink; Spit kink; Rough sex; Pussy slapping; Dark!Joel; Mean!Joel (also kinda crazy and pathetic); Obsessive behavior; Possessive behavior; Discussions of suicidal ideations; Unreliable narrators; Alcoholism; Consensual non consent kind of (But not previously discussed - they're both into it tho); Use of misogynistic language; Grief
A/N: Hi :) Another one just bc I have no self control. 
Parts of the narrative read a little disjointed and/or confusing. This is intentional. I was kind of trying something weird out here, I guess.
Word Count: 9.7K
Read on AO3
The first time Joel sees you, it’s a Thursday. His least hated day of the week, but not his favorite, for he doesn’t really have any favorite things anymore. Your eyes’d stunned him at that first look. They sparkled as if dusted with frost – speared him with an intensity that burned. 
But no… that was a lie, and Joel is trying not to be such a liar anymore. He does have one favorite thing now. This middle-of-nowhere diner, this place where’d he’d found you. 
The first time he’d actually talked to you, you’d interrupted his own stubborn, sour silence with a silence of your own. Different, agonizing, compared to your usual persistent fishing for his attention. 
“What’re you doin’ out here in this wasteland, sweetheart?” Because you look sweet as that cherry pie you’re always trying to push on him. 
“Been here my whole life.” It’s verging on evening, the sky gone to melancholy, and there’s a young girl with dark hair weeping on the shoulder of an older woman in the booth over. He wants to snap at her, demand to know what the fuck she could possibly have to cry over? He’s sure she mustn’t have a dead daughter like him, and so there really seems to be no reason for tears. 
“No plans to leave?”
You shake your head, hum a little, set the coffee pot down on the edge of the table to pop a hip out and think on your answer. “Guess you could say I’m a little bit weak or scared, don’t know.”
“Doubt that,” a surprised laugh forced out of him. Entirely improbable, he knows this just by looking at you. “You’ve got eyes that seem as if they’ve never held fear within them in your entire life.” And he makes you laugh at that, head thrown back, throat rippling. The sound like the tolling of the bell indicating the start of the rest of his life. 
When you’re done gifting him your laughter, you ask, “What about you? Why are you here?”
“My daughter died.” Plain. 
Your eyes seem to shutter or flicker, something like a chimera about them, “When?”
“Two years ago.” He watches the crying girl and the old woman get up to go. And then the two of you are alone. You move to sit in the booth across from him. He’d been coming in here to see you for more than half that time since, and now, the first time the two of you are having an actual conversation, and this is what he’s decided to open with. But really, it’s the only story he has to tell anymore. He watches you watch him for a long moment, as though you’re searching for something within him, or mulling over what it is you want to say to him, the shift of your jaw from side to side as you chew on your words. He feels easily frightened now – fragile – and yet vibrantly malignant, at the same time. A juxtaposition on two opposite ends of the spectrum of good and not so good, or perhaps, verging on very, terribly bad, in the grocery store line of human morality. Two Joel’s at the start and end of the queue who could not seem to come to terms with one another. Enemies – they were enemies of each other. A Joel who’d once had a daughter, and a Joel who now did not. A Joel who’d pulled a trigger at his own temple, and one who’d never even considered such a thing. He draws his finger along the line of scar tissue at his temple.
For a long time he’d wanted to tear a hole in his world and escape, but he was no master of inventiveness. On the contrary, he found his attempt rather miserly – had short changed himself at the last moment and flinched. But perhaps, it had been for this reason – for you, to find you. He wishes he could peer inside your mind, crack open your skull and read everything you’re hiding away from him inside there. A violent thought, but you make him feel slightly violent, or – no, that’s not it – for Joel is already a violent man. It’s more that you pull a specific hue of violence out of him, incite it, like he needs to move, to howl, to claw at something, at you, scream and scream and scream to keep your undivided attention on him forever. 
“I’m sorry for your loss,” you say finally, voice quiet. “How old was she?”
His loss. That was a funny way of putting it. It had never felt like a loss. The word was too small. Four letters was not enough to describe what it really was. There was no word for what it felt like. An emaciation of his very self until he simply ceased to exist. Something that had sucked his soul, his heart, his brain out of his body, but they didnt feel lost. They felt destroyed, decimated, or like they had never existed. Sometimes the feeling left him confused, disoriented – this strange purgatory he’d been relegated to, it was like it had never happened in his mind sometimes, or like it had happened to a different man. Like that life with that beautiful little girl with the green eyes who’d had a father who loved her, who’d then died, had happened to someone else. Someone who wasn’t Joel. Like a war that had raged and raged for centuries, and now nothing was left in its wake. Only that terribly fraught reminder of a violence too grotesque for a human mind to conceive. 
How could he miss something, wish for something so, so, so fucking desperately he’d peel his very skin from his body himself to get it back, but also feel like it didn’t belong to him anymore? Like it had never happened to him, like he remembered it out of his own body? A dream that belonged to someone else, and Joel’d only been told of it second hand. His mind was fractured now, he knew this. He wasn't right – broken or glued together the wrong way. His bones didn’t fit in his joints the way they were supposed to anymore. He was all wrong and ugly and fucked. 
“She was twelve.”
“My whole family’s dead,” you say it almost casually, with a half shrug of your shoulders. “Is that why you started driving? To get away?”
He’s been a long haul truck driver for going on two years now. Started just after Sarah – needed to get away, to get lost. He didn’t enjoy it – he does not enjoy it. Not because the work is bad or boring or what have you, but because he doesn’t enjoy anything anymore. But it’s productive and pays well and… well, he does appreciate the solitude. There is that, at least. He’d been on the route from New Mexico to Washington for several months now, and it was fine. Occasionally, he’d head up to the Dakotas – not so fine, longer, harder trek, but he managed it. He preferred this one, preferred the darkness of the north west corner of the country. He never went further south than New Mexico, though. Absolutely never into Texas. He’d never go back there again. 
“Sure… to get away.” He couldn’t be there anymore afterwards, had nothing left. “My neighbor, Anna, she’s got a teenager, Ellie. Sweet kid. Weird kid,” he laughs fondly, remembering the two of them. “The kid was friends with my daughter, Sarah. And after everything– well, after everything, Anna made sure they both stuck around. Didn’t let me shut myself away the way I wanted to,” ill-shaven recluse, confused, fractured, “They’re good people. You’d like them, I think. They’re… they’re my friends.” They were another reason he kept doing the driving, he liked to send money back to Anna and Ellie. He knew they didn’t need it, didn’t want it, but he had to. He needed to feel like he was still taking care of someone, contributing to someone’s well being. It was just part of who he was. 
“I’m sure I would.”
He watches your silent enrapture as you listen to him tell you of his pseudo life. After a while he’d realized that was all he’d started doing, making his way back to you, to this diner where you work. A sad place for ugly men to stop in on a pause from their interminable journeys and lay eyes on an angel. He hadn’t even really realized that’s what he was purposely doing or that it’d become a pattern. He just needed something to see at the end of the tunnel, a light to look towards when he was lost in the darkness. That’s what you are, a single flickering light in the abyss of darkness he exists in now. 
You’re small – tiny compared to Joel’s own hulking size. He thinks he could break you, easily, if he isn’t careful, if he so felt like it. And you were – you are so fucking pretty. He thinks of you so often. Almost as often as he thinks of his dead daughter which might seem wrong or strange, but it’s really nothing more than the two opposite ends of a spectrum of perfect beauty that he’s known within his lifetime that now he cannot reach either end of. Sarah – dead, forever out of reach. And you. Too perfect for consideration, too beautiful and good for these monstrous hands of his. The thing he’s become in his grief is not worthy of a gorgeous creature like you. His existence post Sarah’s death had become some sort of apocalyptic dysphoria where the only monster here was Joel. But he does like to watch, and he does like to think of you. To come to your diner and sit and watch you serve coffee to your customers – the scum that muddles through here isn’t worthy of laying eyes on you – men like him. Sometimes, when he sits here silently, pretending to ignore you and not be entirely beguiled by you, he feels as if he has a purpose again, like the money for Anna and Ellie, getting to inconspicuously watch over you, make sure no one gives you a hard time gives him purpose. And when he goes, even though he never really wants to, he takes you with him in his mind through the long stretches of his hauls. When there are nothing but ghosts to keep him company. When thoughts of Sarah and that dead life become too overwhelming, he calls you to mind, plans his routes to make his way back to you. 
You’re also fucking persistent – not giving him the chance to wallow away in his silence and brooding. He was rude at first, gruff and unresponsive and wouldn’t ever acknowledge your queries of, How’s it going today, and, Oh, back again I see. Sometimes he wanted to snap and just spit the truth at you, ‘course, I’m fuckin’ back, I’m here to see you, I’m obsessed with you. And rounds and rounds of, Can I get you another cup of coffee? The same as usual? You’d memorized his order. Pestered and pestered and pestered for his name until he’d finally ceded it to you, and, How ‘bout some cherry pie this time? After a while you’d gotten sick of his recalcitrant bullshit and just dropped off the piece of pie, slipping it onto the edge of the table and sliding away without a word or a half look back at him. He’d eaten the whole damn thing, savored it, and caught your sassy, little smirk after he’d finished. He’d wanted to bend you over the counter and spank your ass until you cried after that. He bets you’d taste as sweet as that pie, that if he slapped your cunt enough times he could get it red as a cherry. He bets you’d like that – that you’d like it a little rough, a little dirty, a little mean. You might look like an angel, but Joel’s seen the way you look at him, the way you follow him with your eyes, leaning against the counter, chin cupped in your small palm watching him eat his eggs and drink his coffee. 
You want him. 
But Joel is frightened – frightened and cowardly and not right, and as much as you look like an angel, he also worries you might have the ability to entice him into very, very bad things – to provoke him into depravity, even. There is a part of him, large or small given the day and the mood and the weather that he walks in here on, that has the rotten half of his mind whispering at the not-so-rotten half that he wants to defile and debase you, and that he’s pretty sure you’d like it if he did. He wants to fuck you full of his come and then watch it leak out of your used, gaping hole. Then he wants to lick you clean, kiss it all better so that he can do it all over again.
The first few times he’d stopped at your diner, he’d pretended he hadn’t even noticed you, would lie to himself in his mind and tell himself that he had no interest in a little thing like you. He had no interest in women, in making connections, in having conversations. Occasionally… well– no, not occasionally. Twice, it had happened twice now, when the urge had struck, the itch had become too persistent, and his hand not enough, he’d gotten a hooker. The first time he’d shut down completely, lost his hard on and not been able to finish. The second time… he’d finished. He might’ve even made the woman come, he hadn’t bothered to ask, but he thought he might have. Then he’d gone back to his truck and cried great heaving sobs. Like he’d said… not right, he wasn’t right anymore. Couldn’t even fuck a whore without blubbering like a baby. He’d wondered if perhaps his grief had made him impotent. That’d be funny. That type of funny thing that is also a humiliation… you know the sort?
But after a while, the lie had become too much of a farce, even for his own mind. He knew, from that first moment he’d walked in, and you’d spun around, a bright smile and chirpy, little voice telling him to sit anywhere you’d like, be right with you, mister, that he’d taken notice. More than notice. He’d put you in his pocket that day and had carried you with him in some way since. Like a stone chosen off the beach, washed up by the tide and deposited in the sand just for him to come across, or maybe like a fucking infection, like the plague, for he did not want this. He did not want to think of you. He did not want to think of anyone or anything. He wanted to be alone and without anything or anyone for the rest of his life. If he did not have anyone, if he remained alone, then he could never again experience that loss which was not truly a loss, but something much worse and devastating, and even, perhaps, a little hilarious, in that way that a hilarious thing can also sometimes be humiliating and shameful… there it is. A loss that is not a loss for it is a thing so devastating it becomes something else entirely. A humiliation to one’s very existence, a decimation, emaciation, all the things, all the things, and nothing at the same time.
His mind was wont to ramblings, on occasion now. Perhaps, incoherence, was the better word. Anxiety, as well, panic, tears. Couldn’t even fuck a hooker without weeping, howling, a few sobs. 
He had wandered so far, and sometimes he thought, I want to go home, but of course, that home no longer existed. It had been put in the ground two years ago and lost forever. The dissatisfaction of constant ennui. He could, perhaps, return to the geographical place, but nothing familiar would remain. He couldn’t live with the memory, he couldn’t live away from it. It was like it had simply ceased to exist that day that she’d died, and every moment since that moment was just a series of moments filled with a yearning for some place that no longer existed. He didn’t think he’d ever again feel at home anywhere.
And yet…
He turns back to look at you. 
“How did they die? Your family.”
“Home invasion – murdered. He never found me, hid in the boiler closet.”
“Little rabbit.”
“Hmm,” a huff of a laugh, “Maybe. Someone once said I was lucky. Pretty fucked up, no?”
“Do you feel lucky?”
“Never. Angry – that I’d been left behind.”
“Yeah…”
“Alone.”
“Are you alone?”
You turn back to him. Inspect him. He watches the slant of your eyes take in his hair, his face, wrinkled, haggard, his chest, his arms – he feels a flush flare beneath his ribs, then back up to his eyes. He wonders if you’ve ever been fucked before. You’re young – but he can’t imagine how you wouldn’t have been. He thinks he’d do anything in this moment to get between your thighs, but also, he hopes you haven’t, hopes you could be all his, only his, his his. Mine. 
He hopes he won’t cry if he gets the chance. 
“Entirely,” you say finally. 
“I had– have– ” shakes his head, “I have, I guess, a brother. Tommy. But the last time I saw him… I was horrible.” They seldom saw each other now – lie – they never saw each other now. Truth, Joel. We’re telling the truth now. 
You laugh lightly, shrug, “Happens.”
“Sure…”
“What’d you do to him?”
“Ah, just couldn’t get a handle on myself after everything. Things got bad enough eventually, and we fought… a lot. Violently. I was violent. One morning I got out of hand, terrible – one of my biggest regrets. We hurt each other with our words and our fists, and in that way only two people who know each other too well can. He cracked my ribs, gave me half his orange in the evening, afterwards – said our apologies. He was gone the next day. Haven’t heard from him since. I just got to be too much for him,” he says again, needs to reiterate it, make sure you understand that he is too much and too dark, too unmanageable – ugly. That you should not be sat here with him. That he has a violence within him, and that you should probably run as fast and as far as you can, but that he cannot promise he will not follow. “I had…” he is ashamed of this part, surprising for he sometimes wonders if he still possesses the heart to feel shame, “I had a problem with drink for a while – not anymore, though,” he says quickly. “I promise, not anymore.” He should not be promising you anything. “I got control of it – knew it was making it all worse rather than better. Felt like I was trapped underwater with my damn ghosts – that … What's that thing called when – when sick people get like – like trapped inside themselves or somethin’? You ever heard’a that?”
-
“Locked-in syndrome.”
“Yeah– yeah. I read about that once or heard it somewhere – that’s what it felt like when I was drinkin’ – fuckin’ terrible. Let it go after a while… but by that time… Tommy was gone, done with me. I was – dunno… like some sort of demon or somethin’ – somethin’ bad.” He huffs a small, derisive laugh, looks at you with that ridiculously charming, crooked half smile. 
That laugh sparks a kindling of anger inside of you for him. This is a broken, angry, creature of a man, you think. Something fractured – not whole, and he must be handled with care and gentleness. “How could he just leave you?
“Didn't give him a choice. Sometimes people deserve to be left.”
“I wouldn’t have.” That sobers him, wipes the smile right off his handsome face. You think of the invisible giants hurting this man in some unimaginable fashion; of the endless tenderness coiled up inside of him and how the crushing of that tenderness – the death of it – has given way to what may be considered madness. Because after all these months of watching him, of him watching you, you can see it, recognize that tenderness for what it is, but also the madness, for it is impossible to ignore if you’re really looking. Soft marrow at the center of a hard man. 
“I did other things… worse things.”
“Try me.”
“I tried to kill myself.”
You whistle, long and low. You actually had not been expecting that one, at least, not the admittance of it, “You’re just full of truths,” for looking at him – the sort of man he’s built as, the thought that he could be felled by anything, even his own hand, is a little hard to believe. 
“Feels like a sort of confessional in this–”
“Shithole–”
“Diner–”
Your voices overlap. You both laugh. You think you quite like the sound of your voices intermingling one on top of the other. 
“What happened?”
“Flinched–”
“I flinch all the time.”
“Have you ever thought about killing yourself?”
You hum, tilt your head side to side on your neck as if you’re letting the thought slide from ear to ear within your skull. “Perhaps only the peripheral idea of it, but never with much imagination or dedication. I don’t think I have that much to kill myself over, you know?”
“Your family?”
“Not really – it’s sort of become just this… this thing that happened once. I don’t feel much ownership over it anymore. Don’t know why, exactly.”
“Sure, that’s how I feel about it sometimes too. That belongs to a different man now – like– like some actor or a facsimile, and I just look in on it as if from a distance. Enjoy the sight of someone else's suffering…” He shakes his head, “That doesn’t make sense.”
“No, no, I understand. Something to do in the way that a tragedy can be compelling to watch. You can let go, let go of your awareness of yourself and experience it in a way you’d never do so in the present moment.”
“A dissociation.”
“Yes. Why would you want to go and relive the basest parts of yourself all alone, over and over again? Not likely.”
“But it was me.”
“A dissociation,” you repeat, smile. 
“Yeah,” he pauses, turns the coffee cup round and round with the slow spin of his wrist as if to dissolve the remains of the grounds you know the shitty machine has left deposited at the bottom. There is a small dusting of golden brown hair covering his wrist and disappearing up his forearm beneath his flannel. You want to taste it, follow the trail to places unknown. “Not so well adjusted, us two,” And he laughs then. A real laugh. He lets you have a real laugh of his, and it is powerful – special. 
“Well… no.” Of course not. “I don’t think either of us could ever claim that.”
“Bet you’ve never been bad a single day in your life, have you?”
You cock your head, let your eyes slide from him to peer out the dark window. His lonely semi is parked under the single flare of light out there. The evening has sunk into a deep blue, the hue of mourning, of melancholy, and the pavement is wet with evening rainfall.
You'd heard that some trucks had spaces behind the seats where truckers could put a bed, have a place to rest. You wonder if he’ll take you back there and fuck you in his little bunk. And honesty is a fickle thing when discussing a topic like this, isn't it? There’s a depravity about him, and you can’t tell if the truth or the lie would placate him – incite him – more. To be similar in such a way as that which he’s imagining. A little bit of both, then. After all, intent holds weight – imagination, desire, it has a mass to it that can, if enough pressure is exerted upon it, be transformed into something else. 
“Not yet,” you tell him, sliding your gaze back to meet his, “Haven’t had a chance – but there’s still time.”
-
“What would you like to do?” He wants to take a bite out of that soft flesh you’re encased in, draw blood.
“Something depraved?” You’re taunting him – trying to provoke. It makes him slightly angry, but also hard. You should know what it is you’re toying with here. 
He frowns at you, at the lilting song of your words trying to beguile him into doing whatever it is you think you want him to do to you. “What is it that you think you want here? You don’t know what I was, how I lived. Shouldn’t be sat here with me, little girl,” he scoffs. “I was– was not– I don’t fucking know, not a man. I’m not, I’m not. Not a person anymore, just this thing that continues to exist. I should not have been expected to survive. This should mean something to you too. You also have no one. You’re alone too. You’re alone in the world. You know what it feels like to only live in the winter.”
You’re quiet for a long moment, and then you say: “I think I’ve come to quite like the winter.” And at that he knows he’s taking you for himself, whether you agree in the end or not. You’re going to be his. 
But he knows he must also let this roiling anger, this depraved hunger settle before he lays hands on you. Like this, in this state, he’d be too rough, break you, nothing compunctious about him or his jaggedness. He excuses himself for a smoke, your only response simply more of that inciting silence – more thoughts of cracked skulls and a cherry red cunt and tears after failed trysts with someone who doesn’t even know his name. He’s fucking embarrassing. What would Tommy say if he knew Joel couldn’t even get it up for a paid fuck anymore? He’d laugh in his face, never let him live it down. He misses his brother very much. He misses lots of things. 
He’s sucking on his Red under the awning of the diner’s entrance, imagining what it’ll be like to suck on your little clit, when he hears them. 
“She’s usually out about midnight. We’ll snag her then.” Grating, guttural voice.
“But I get to fuck ‘er first. This was my idea so I go first.”
“Yeah, whatever. S’only happenin’ ‘cause of me. Too fuckin’ stupid to see the plan through after all these months of watchin’ ‘er.”
“Fuck off.” Silence, and then almost with giddy elation: “We gonna kill her too?” Something cold and terrifying settles within Joel. 
A beat, “Should we?”
“Dunno, man. Might be fun, huh? Never done it before.”
“She’s fuckin’ pretty,” the voice draws the vowel out in a high pitched, sacharine whine. “Got the face of an angel.” Joel’s angel, his, his, only his.
He’s got his Bowie in a sheath on the back of his belt. Perhaps, this would be a useful exercise in release. After he’s dispelled his excess energy he can come back and touch you, take you. 
“Can’t wait to taste that cunt.” His cunt.
“Seen her tits, man? Fucking round and bouncy. Wanna make ‘em bleed.” And there’s only one avenue of consequence after that. After all, this is not the first time Joel’s done this. 
His most well kept secret.
Sometimes, when the itch cannot be eased, abated, by his hand or a fuck or a drink or any of the other readily available vices, he turns to this. Only when the straits were dire. Only when he saw no other recourse. Only after his daughter was dead and in the ground and his brother gone away from him
But sometimes… sometimes it’s just fun. Sometimes it’s useful for a man to do that thing that he really feels he wants to do, if only to enjoy himself, if only to let go of some of that suffocating tension. If only to keep vermin like this away from an angel like you. 
“We’ll chill in the woods for a while, wait the little thing out, yeah?” Joel edges his way towards the edge of the building closer to them, peeks a lone eye around the corner. Two men, middle aged. Not a problem. Not for a man like him. 
He waits for them to make their way to the edge of the tree-line, watches them disappear into the gloom. He looks back into the diner through the murky windows. The warm glow of the overhead lamps washing you in a hue of golden light that brings out all the warm goodness in you he’ll take for himself once he’s snuffed out this issue. 
No one’s going to touch you but him. No one’s going to hurt you but him. 
As he rounds the corner of the diner there’s a piece of metal pipe propped up against the building by the dumpsters. Very nice. 
He goes after them. 
At the edge of the tree-line, under a swaying, low hanging branch, there is a tiny unfledged bird, helplessly twitching its way towards death in a puddle. He pauses to watch its struggle, gathers his skin about him, tightens his seams – prepares to gorge. He watches the inch by inch pilgrimage towards its last breath, then stillness. He feels so much older than his years, like he’s lived a thousand terrible years, watched a thousand terrible deaths. But there is a buoyancy about him, as well. Filled with a saccharine sweet fizz of sticky anticipation. He’s going to taste your cunt after this is done.
 He moves into the gloom. He’s going to kill them for you, and his cock is hard at the thought.
Stepping beneath the canopy of the trees, into that cold, damp darkness, he sees the absolute truth of the world. On the heels of two men who’d do you harm, he knows that he’d failed to save someone he cared about once, he’d not be bested by failure a second time. Darkness implacable, the crushing black vacuum of their overheard words buzzing in his head like flies, of the harm they’d do you. Two hunted animals moving away from a creature much darker than they could even imagine, scurrying on borrowed time. What most moves him is that the things they’d do to you are not so dissimilar to the things he plans to do to you, as well. The only difference being that after he’s done defiling you, he’ll keep you for himself, with all the care and gentleness a little thing like you so deserves. 
-
You press your ear to the cracked open door leading to the back of the building. It’s not the first time those two’ve talked their filth regarding you. The murdering is new, though. You’d not thought they were smart or inventive enough to come up with an actual kill plot. Rape enough of a hardball for minds as shallow and small as those two’ve got. 
You’d never really considered them much of a threat. Or maybe you’d just never really cared enough to pay them much attention. But as you watch the broad, rippling expanse of Joel’s muscled back stalk after them, his pause at the tree-line to look down at something on the ground, you think he must be more in the vein of taking a stupid man’s shit talk to heart than you’ve ever been. 
He has a thick, forearms-length of steel pipe gripped in his huge fist, and there’s a wicked looking knife strapped to his belt on the back of his hip. 
Interesting. 
You look back at the empty diner, the lonely parking lot beyond the glass of the windows, only Joel’s semi still taking up residence on the wet pavement. You turn back to follow after the three men. 
One you want, two you’re interested to see what fate awaits them.
For some reason, when you step outside, you’re expecting there to be snow on the ground, but there is none.  
You move across the pavement towards the forest-line, and the pilgrimage towards the verdant darkness feels very much like your one-way ticket out of this forlornness you’ve been trapped in your whole life. You’ve been stuck in this small town for so long, for too long. One man had already tried to forcibly evict you, had taken your entire family with him, maybe this one, maybe Joel, would do so in a way you’d more likely enjoy. 
There’s been a steady, faint drizzle all day long, and the puddles of rain look like holes in the dark pavement, apertures into some other realm that glide past underground. You wonder if you stepped through if you’d disappear below into some other place. You wonder if he’d be able to find you even in that unknown other. 
You cross the line into darkness. 
The familiar terror of silence – you don’t seem to find it here. There is only the sound of your rushing blood, the cadence of his voice rumbling through your psyche, firing your neurons up into a frenzy. There is a twisting heat low in your pelvis, dampness between your thighs. What’s he going to do? Why’s he going to do it?Is it for me? Is it for me? It’s for you.
You let out a low whistle between your teeth and move beyond the trees. There is a giddiness about the darkness of the wood – the motley of shadows, the aroma of mushroom rot. 
The familiar terror of silence. Perhaps, that is what they are experiencing now. The great horror of being set upon by a beast more terrifying than anything they could have ever conjured up on their own. 
That infinite tenderness from before, that acute madness – it coalesces in the gap in the trees as you come upon the three men. 
Joel has already started on the first. He murders almost tenderly. With great care, but infused with an aroma of agitated frenzy that seems flavored in the same notes of erotic buzzing that hums beneath your own skin. There is blood and viscera splattered on his face and clothes, in his hair. That great hunting knife embedded in the throat of the first man. The body lays facing you now, eyes open, shocked at his own death. Funny. Perhaps, that’s how they would have liked you to have ended up once they were through with you. 
Oh, how the tune changes when the monster is on your side. 
What are you? Be a creature. Be a creature. Be a creature!
You take Joel in. Thick, massive frame. You love his hair, it was one of the first things you’d noticed, thick dark curls streaked with the silver veins of his age and experience. Something that promised of care and knowledge and patience. His patchy beard with the heart shaped gap in it, you’re going to write your name into that space. His powerful arms, muscles coiled tight, his shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders as he brings the steel pipe up above his head, pauses to look down at his next victim. 
“We won’t bother her anymore, never again – p– please, please, I swear,” the man on the ground begs and cries. There are tears and snot bubbling down his ruddy, pocketed face. 
Joel is silent and terrifying and glorious above him, and then a small nod: “That’s alright… I believe you.” The metal comes down in a whistling arc, makes contact. 
Flesh and blood splatter, the sound of it is pulpy and wet and vindicating. He starts with the man’s knees, then his head, caved in like the shell of an egg, the yolk spilling out like vermilion drool. 
He heaves silently above the man that would have done you harm. Makes the threat go away. 
You step forward, cunt pulsing and wet and eager for him. When he’s gotten his fill of bludgeoning he turns slowly back towards you, as if he’d known the entire time that you’d been stood there watching. 
And the look on his face, it makes something electrifying and sticky buzz up your spine and ooze down your veins. You shift back on your heels
He shakes his head, his eyes are huge, pupils blown wide. “Don’t run,” he says slowly. If you hadn’t just watched him murder two men in cold blood – no, in your defense, he saved you, he protected you, fizzy heart full of satisfaction – you’d say he almost looks a little doe eyed. 
A hollow pounding begins in his heart, as if it had remained silent for the past two years and was only now taking notice of its own silence. His cock, hard enough to burst, angry and throbbing beneath the confines of his blood soaked jeans. Fuck this scum laying on the ground beside him, look at what he has infront of him. Nothing else matters but you. A goddamned angel. Damned for he’s found you now and nothing good can come of this. He takes a step towards you, and you match him with one backwards, away from him, his blood starts to howl in his veins. Different to the humming frenzy that had filled him as he did his murdering. This is hot and viscous and ravenous, and he knows he’ll get to keep his catch once he’s gorged himself on it. He knows he’ll get to keep you once he’s caught you. 
You take two more nervous little, quick steps away from him. Your eyes are slightly manic, face flushed, frame jittery, excited. A rabbit that knows it’s about to be caught. He watches the pause of your limbs as they fill with coiled energy, getting ready to make the bound and leap towards escape. He lunges, goes in for the kill, teeth bared, talons  brandished. 
Faster than you can even comprehend, he lunges, takes you to the ground with one massive, powerful shoulder to the vulnerable, soft of your belly, one huge paw cradled at the back of your skull to protect you from the hard ground. Your spine hits the cold, wet earth, the breath knocked out of you. You think you let out an animal noise, high pitched and supplicant. A thing that knows it’s been caught and is soon to be devoured. Your limbs scramble against the dirt, heels digging into the ground for purchase, you feel the loss of one of your shoes, as you try to get away or to crawl closer, who can be sure. A spider caught in the web or a larger, hungrier arachnid. He sets the huge heaviness of his muscular weight over your much smaller frame, one strong hand caged around the column of your throat, the other pushing your chest into the earth as he shoves his hips into the cradle of your own, forcing your thighs apart and your skirt to pool at your waist. You feel the stretch of the center plaque of your tights as his wide breadth settles between your legs, making room to take you for himself. You bring your own hands up to the wrist holding your throat and dig your nails into the skin there. You can feel the light smattering of hair covering his forearm beneath your soft palms, the cold, wet dirt beneath you, the searing stretch of the inner muscles of your thighs spread wide for him, the damp of the air surrounding the two of you. He leans forwards, pressing you down into the ground, and you have the fleeting thought that you want to transfuse yourself into the earth, into him. 
He pauses then to look down at you, appreciating the gloriousness of his catch. “Caught ya.” And he’s filled with an exuberance, a sort of victory. Look at what he’s snared – all for himself. 
You try and struggle again, if only to see the flare of annoyance in his eyes. It makes your cunt tight and achy. Even more than it already is. There’s a part of you that thinks you want him slightly angry – rough or mean. That you might like it even more if it hurts. Be kind enough to be cruel about it, you want to beg him. He leans forward to press his nose to your cheek, drags the cold vermillioned flush of it along your jaw, down the line of your throat, bites harsh and painful at your collarbone then over the peak of your breast. 
“Are you a virgin?” He whispers into your skin. It sounds very much like a threat. 
“Yes.”
“Saved this cunt all for me.” And it is not a question. Yes, you moan anyways. Let him know. Let him know that this defiling is a gift you’re granting him. He sits up on his haunches between your thighs, his hands sliding down to press on your lower belly and digs his fingers into the center of your tights and pulls, ripping a hold in them for his pillaging. You try and press your knees shut at the feel of the frigid air on your sensitive inner thighs, dig your nails into the ground above your head to try and drag yourself away from him. 
He digs his own fingers harshly into your flesh, his nails biting painfully into the soft skin of your thighs and ass and brings you back towards him. There’ll be streaks of pain left in his wake after this. Bad little rabbit. He smacks the inside of your thigh, watches the smooth flesh ripple for him. You let out a warbled, angry screech, little nails still trying to claw yourself away from him. He laughs then, a little mean, condescending. “Fight harder, little baby. This is pretty pathetic.” He rips your thighs apart, keep your fuckin’ legs open for me, his hands slick with the blood of his victims slide up the back of your thighs, anchoring his palms beneath the damp creases of your knees to press you open and wide for him, slaps your cunt, hard, over the soaking gusset of your panties. 
“Who the fuck’re you wearin’ this tiny little thong for?” he growls. It’s white lace, with a sweet, little pink bow adorning the front. “Me? Wrapped yourself up all nice and pretty for me?” Your little foot sneaks up under his armpit and tries to push with, what he’s sure is all your valiant might, at his chest, trying to unseat him from his conquering position above you, but he takes your ankle in a vice like grip, bites harshly into the meat of your calf so that an animal squeal of pain is clawed out of your throat at the same time that he slots his fingers under the damp center of your panties. “Sing as loud as you want, sweetheart. No one’s gonna hear you out here.” He can feel the soaking wet seam of your cunt against the backs of his knuckles, and he rips them clean off you. The sound of the last remaining barrier of protection of your cunt against his ravaging being decimated has you going shock still – prey that knows it’s caught and has decided to give up. Good, this is how he wants you. Your big, wet eyes look up at him as he flings the lace towards the still steaming dead bodies. That’s all they’ll get of you. The rest is only his. Mine, mine, fucking mine. 
You let your arms go limp above your head, soft and pliant and ready for ravaging, melting into the earth.
He presses your knees back and up, letting the red blossom of your wet cunt bloom for him. It’s slick and swollen, and he knows when he shoves his cock inside it’ll be burning hot. “Look at this gorgeous virgin pussy, baby. All for me. Only for me…” he murmurs, hypnotized, mesmerized. He drags the back of his knuckles over your slit, uses his thumbs to spread your lips apart, admires the swollen nub of your clit. You’re just as hungry for him as he is for you. Messy, eager little whore. He moves to undo his belt and free his aching length. Huge and brutish, thick veins pulsing just beneath the thin skin. He’s going to split you in half, break you, mold you in his image. 
He spits right onto your soaked folds, watches the thick glob of saliva slide down to mingle with your own leaking slick. He’s not even going to make you come first. Little virgin cunt and he’s not going to even bother getting you ready – just gonna shove the whole, unforgiving length of himself inside of you. Force you to take it. He fists his thick fist around himself, jacks his cock once, twice, squeezing at the bulbous head so that a trickle of precum seeps out of the slit. He presses his head to your clit, slides down to give you a small threat of pressure at your opening. When he looks back up at your face your eyes flutter shut, a look of pure contented submission washing over the gorgeous planes of you. 
“Not gonna be gentle, baby. Don’t got it in me.” He notches the fat head at the slick mouth of your entrance and crams his cock inside of you in one go, meets that thin barrier that says you still belong to yourself and rips through it. Mine now. No reprieve, no respite. And God, the feel of it, cleaved in half, scorching hot, filled to the brim and never deep enough. He is a rabid, snarling beast of a man as he hits the very end of you, grinds his cockhead at the mouth of your womb. You let out a warbled, pained moan, little fingers coming up to claw at his throat and chest with kitten-strength, down to dig into his thick thighs as he pins you down, and you tilt your hips to let him in deeper or escape him, he doesn't know. He doesn't care. He pulls his hips back and forces himself back in, too thick cock wedged into the too tight space. “Christ, goddamn tight fuckin’ pussy – made for me,” he grits through bared teeth.
He fucks you raw and cruel, and he needs you to just lay limp and still and take it.
And you do. And he does not cry this time. 
He sets a brutal pace, throbs deep in your belly at every pause as he grinds at your cervix. It must be painful for you, perhaps, but the flush in your cheeks, the fever in your eyes, the ripple of your cunt around his driving length tells him you also like it. “What a good girl, taking my big cock,” he coos. You preen, tilt your hips this time in supplication he’s sure, hitch your feet higher along his sides. There are tears running back down your temples and into your hairline. His cock makes you cry. If he could, he’d split your throat and drink, he would. But he cannot, so he’ll split your cunt instead. He thrusts into the hilt, complete negligence for care, for gentleness lost in the dark wood, for the desperate necessity of feeling your virgins blood coating his cock. Your protestations lost to the louder song for more, for harder, for deeper
Joel, Joel, Joel. 
He’s going to listen to you sing his name for the rest of his life. 
He feels unhinged, a thread picked at too many times, spun loose, unraveled and frayed. That edge that separates good and evil – his bloody fingers clamp down hard on the edge of your jaw, forces you to open for him, and he spits into your mouth – direct, dirty … warm. “Lemme see…” he rumbles, and you stick your tongue out for his inspection. Once he nods, pleased and smug and conquering, you close and rub the slick of his saliva onto the roof of your mouth with your tongue, savor the taste of him. This was the taste that you’d longed for… that which teaches you what that professed edge really is. Is he good, is he evil – he’d just killed two men, you’d watched him, cunt wet at the sight of it. Albeit to protect you… sure – but does it even matter? You swallow his spit down. Probably not. 
He is huge and life altering inside of you. Your virginity scoured away on his invading length. 
He leans forward, hand clamped around your jaw to pierce you with his manic gaze, like his cock pierces your cunt. He smells like the forest and sweat and power. “Little fuckin’ tease,” he grits, “Bringing me cherry pie like that all the time – fuckin’ provoking me. You just wanted me to pop your cherry for you. Didn’t you, little girl?” All you can do is nod dumbly and take what he gives you. He hooks one of your knees over his elbow, the other propped over his shoulder, foot bobbing limply at each slam of his hips. He has you bent entirely in half, cunt splayed wide open for him to fuck down into the deep, devastating end of you. Your vision goes blurry, black stars streaking across the back of your eyelids. All you see is him. Perhaps he’s all that exists now. Maybe you’re just as dead as the two bodies laying beside the two of you. You wonder peripherally what the sight of the four of you must look like. Joel’s hulking form fucking you like an animal into the dirt. You open your eyes to look up at him, there’s blood splatter across his face, in his hair. His skin is burning hot against yours. You think that perhaps you’ll have scorch marks in the shape of his fingers in your skin after he’s done with you. Two dead, brutalized bodies cooling beside the place where the two of you are fucking. 
“Can feel ya tightening up, baby. Gonna come all over my cock.”
He does something to change the angle, and it fucking hurts. “Too much,” you beg, try to push him back weakly, but your cunt pulls sharp and tight, and then your muscles are rippling around him, womb contracting painfully as your orgasms blinds you with its sudden intensity. 
“Don’t care,” he growls back. “Do not fucking push me away.” No, he must not care. Prey doesn’t decide how it’s felled, after all. 
He pulls out and back then, suddenly, slaps your cunt harshly, once, twice. You mewl, high and shocked, writhing around in the dirt. He grabs you by the hips and flips you so fast you’re left disoriented, pulling your ass up, up, up. 
“Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he croons, bends to bite down on the meat of your asscheek, and then notches back at your gaping, fluttering hole, orgasm still running through you, and pushes back in. You’re soaking wet, slick and fucked open by him and the taking is much easier this time. You feel his thumb press down on your asshole, “Gonna take this too. Gonna have every part of you, every piece. Gonna swallow you whole.” All you do is arch your back further, cheek smushed into the dirt, fingers digging into the cool earth for purchase, for salvation.
The sight of you stretched around his thick base, so slick he feels you dripping down his balls and further below, into the bloody earth. There’s a red tinge of your own blood coating his skin, and he’s going to come. He’s going to fill you up with his spend and fuck it deep into you until it takes. Until no matter how far you want to run, he’ll be with you, always. He lets his head fall back on his neck and stares up at the dark canopy of the trees, groans low and deep.“You’re gonna be my little hole now,” he promises, presses one large palm into the small of your back to deepen the angle and fuck down into you. “Gonna take you with me and fill you up whenever I feel like it. My gorgeous little cumslut.” The ramming of his hips starts to grow sloppy and stuttered, close to the edge now. Victory is so, so near. 
You start to claw at the dirt and wiggle again. Little knees chafed raw and scrambling against the hard ground trying to get away. He slaps your ass hard, hopes there’ll be the print of his hand to appreciate later. 
“Not inside, not inside – not – no birth control,” you stutter, beg.
“I’m not fuckin’ pulling out.” He twists a cruel and unyielding hand into the back of your hair and presses your face harshly into the ground. Your eyes pinch and tears seep and mingle into the blood and dirt beneath you. “Gonna pump you raw and full. You don’t gotta worry about anythin’ anymore, baby. Gonna take care of you,” he grits and you press yourself harder back into him. There is an existential seesaw inside of you – a volleying of your wants – you want him to hurt you, to force you, to take care of you and keep you, all at the same time.
“Promise – promise me you won’t leave me,” you cry and beg because really, that’s all you want. All you’ve ever wanted. For someone to stay, for someone to never leave, no matter what.
“I promise – fuckin’ swear.” And you go loose and passive again at that – his to do with as he will. Nothing else really matters after all that.
He senses the change. The loosening of your muscles into capitulation. He stops his thrusting and grinds, strums at your clit. “Oh fuck, you want me to fill you up? And what happens if I do? What happens if it takes? Want me to get you fuckin’ pregnant?” Starts to fuck into you again, “I think you do.”
Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care.
“You’re mine. Fucking mine.” He says it again and again and again, yes, yes, yes, lets himself fall forward, anchored above you with one strong arm as he presses as deep as he can physically go and starts to fill your pulsing cunt with his come, the heat of his spend inciting you to roll into one more throbbing orgasm. He brings his face down close to yours, open your eyes, little thing, lemme see you. The fluttering of your lashes, sweaty, dirt-streaked face, and you are seraphic, the wet crimson heat of your blood pounding beneath the delicate membrane of your skin. Gorgeous, perfect, conquered and his. 
“Fucked full’a me now,” he whispers, presses a soft kiss to the tender skin of your eyelid. You nuzzle into him, and then look up at him with the warmest, most vibrant gaze he’s ever seen. Fucking pleased and sated. 
“They wanted me, but only you get to have me now,” you whisper. “How does that make you feel?” Provoking, provoking again. 
“Like I fucking own you.” He grinds his still spitting cock further, feels the pull of your muscles milk him deeper. 
He lets his weight fall partially over you, too heavy for the full mass of himself. You are, after all, a delicate thing, and he must remember to handle you with care, occasionally. He feels the pulsing and quivering of your cunt around his softening cock, and the two of you settle to lay there in the dirt, bodies still dead, virginity scoured and stolen, and stare at each other. 
“Have you ever been in love?” you whisper, dragging the tip of one little finger, whisper soft, over the arch of his brow, the slope of his nose.
“I feel a little in love with ya right now,” he confesses, and you press that finger against the seam of his mouth, begging for entrance, and then inside, against the flat of his tongue to inspect the wet gleam of it. It’ll be inside of you soon enough, you should take a look at that which you’ll be writhing against in due time. 
“Good. That was my plan all along.” Smug, conniving little creature. 
-
Once it’s full dark, he packs you into his truck, buckles your seatbelt for you, tucks a blanket around your dirty knees and drives off as if he hadn’t just murdered two men and taken your virginity with their blood still hot on his skin. He goes for miles and miles, eventually finds a dark, secluded spot to park the truck for the night. He takes you into the back bunk and fucks you like you’d wanted him to, on your side, one leg slung over his shoulder, hand gripping the lush of your ass to pull you onto his impaling cock, watches your ass bounce against his thrusts. A demanded play with it, lemme see ya push it back in, as he watches himself drip out of your messy hole. Eats your cunt until you cry. Afterwards, the two of you lay, naked and damp, facing each other, tracing the lines of one another in the quiet dark. 
Sometimes he’s worried he’s blood hungry – or pain hungry. Starving for something he doesn’t have a name for. But he thinks that, perhaps, he can use your name to fill in the blank space now. He’d always felt as if his devotion was a punishment to the receiver. After all, everyone Joel has ever loved has left him. But as he looks at you, there’s something in your eyes that tells him that perhaps, you’ll remain. Perhaps, he can compel you to, force you to. Perhaps, he can anchor you to himself, and in turn, give you everything. 
“Are you a ghost?” he asks.
“No. Are you?”
“Sometimes I think I am.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re like a fuckin’ angel or somethin’. What were you doin’ out here in this wasteland?” He asks you again.
“Maybe I was waiting for you.” This answer he likes.
He’s quiet for a long time after that – taking you in, cataloging you, memorizing you. His fingers ghosting over your face, your hair, strumming the fan of your lashes. Later he asks: How do you remember the memory of someone else? How do you keep them when they’ve gone somewhere entirely unreachable?
“Because you love them,” you tell him.
“That’s enough?”
“Of course. Will you ever forget that you loved her?”
“Never.”
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
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monamourbladie · 8 months
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AHH OKAY SO.. this feels so weird typing out but IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE CAN YOU WRITE LIKE PROTECTIVE/POSSESSIVE DAN HENG IL? idk how to describe it aaa like.. id imagine because he is a vidyadhara, they stay with their lovers for life, so he's be like very protective over his lover. maybe smut but its up to you!!!!!!!
Possessive Dan Heng/IL head canons
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okay firstly i wanna say i was sitting on this ask for days bc i was trying to think of a possible plot but I couldn’t:( so i’m just gonna do some head cannons, i hope you don’t mind! I’ll be including some nsfw ones at the end too don’t worry :)) and thank u for being my first request on this blog hehe~
Dan Heng:
alright, so Dan is a very reserved and kept to himself kinda guy as we can see on the Express. he doesn’t show his emotions a lot and he’s kind of hard to read
you’re one of the few people that can read him like a book due to how close you guys are and how much he trusts you. like, even MARCH couldn’t get him to open up as much as he does with you
so when he’s upset, you just know. like it’s so obvious to you and you alone lol
so let’s say you’re out in Belobog and he’s speaking with March & Stelle when some guy comes up to you and starts chatting with you
initially he wouldn’t think much of it until he starts hearing laughter from you, and then all his attention is on you and him. like, why are you laughing at his jokes? what’s he even doing talking to you??
he’d just kind of keep his distance and just watch. nobody else really understands what he’s doing, but you can immediately recognize the coldness in his eyes as he’s glaring daggers at the man.
eventually he’d have enough when he notices him starting to touch your arm and he immediately walks over, keeping a calm & collected stature
“y/n! there you are, i was wondering where you ran off to.” he’s walk up behind you and wrap his arm around your waist, keeping you pressed close against him.
your cheeks would flush and you’d immediately lean into him, feeling better now that he’s here and can scare the guy off. “i was just waiting for our drinks.”
“and speaking with me. i was offering to give her a tour around Belobog, since she’s new,” the man said with a smile to her. dan’s grip would tighten around your waist and he’s grit his teeth.
your drink would be called and he’d move away for just a moment - (it helped that you were waiting by the counter, anyway) and grabbed your drinks for you, handing you one and kissing your forehead as he did so, “that’s sweet, but we already have a tour guide. let’s go.”
he’d grab your hand and fast walk you away, his heart almost aching from the exchange.
you always understood how sensitive he is about you dating him, since he’s been so heavily traumatized by his previous marriage in his past life. any scenario where you could leave him in any way terrifies him more than he wants to admit.
“was that supposed to be intimidating?” march would comment with a giggle as they walked over. dan simply sighed as he handed march her drink, “leave it, march.”
you’d look up at him with a soft smile and tilt his face to look down at you. you’d grin and kiss his lips longingly, “don’t worry, sweetheart. i was just being nice and keeping conversation.”
this eased his mind greatly - it’s not like he doesn’t trust you, he’s just extremely insecure and fearful about losing his loved ones, even to a random stranger in a planet they have no plans to stay on.
back at the hotel when you’re alone though? that’s another story. he doesn’t feel the need to keep his usual reserved facade up, and you know that.
the moment the door is shut, he’s immediately behind you, his arms trailing up yours as he peppers kisses up the back of your neck, “i hated seeing him speak with you, you know that?” he’d mutter against your skin.
you’d hum and close your eyes as you leaned into his touch, knowing this was going to be a pleasantly long night. “were you jealous, baby?” you’d playfully tease him.
he’d let out a low growl against your skin as his grip on you tightened, moving you in his arms so you’re pressing your chest against his own. he leaned down and started to kiss against your jawline up to your ear, “i don’t get jealous. i get protective.”
“you’re so jealous,” you’d giggle, moving your head so you could kiss his lips instead. he’d kiss you back harshly to immediately shut you up, beginning to walk the two of you slowly over to the bed as you’d kiss
he’d pin you down against the bed quickly, his kisses getting more feverish as his hands start exploring your body, “that’s enough out of you. you’re my girl.”
you’d squirm under his touch in enjoyment, cheeks flushing red from being called his girl. you loved when you got him to act all touchy, especially when he was riled up like this.
he would absolutely tease you all throughout the night just to get you so riled up that you’d just be panting and begging for him to finally let you have your release.
he’d click his tongue and lean in against your ear, his fingers teasing you unbearably slowly as you squirmed. he wouldn’t let you have your release until you cried out that you were his and only his, reaffirming him in the best way.
he’d lean down and kiss you heatedly as he pumped his fingers quickly to push you over the edge, “good girl, that’s right… you belong to me, no one else…”
youd cry out as he helped you through your high, “o-only yours, dan… f-fuck…”
there was literally nothing he adored more than seeing you a sobbing, moaning mess all because of him. part of you wondered if you should get him possessive more often if he would treat you so nicely afterwards…
Imbibitor Lunae:
if you thought dan heng was closed off and reserved, dan feng was another level. we all know everyone described him as cold and uncaring, but when it came to you? he was a total opposite and an absolute sweetheart.
he had his moments of being a typical brooding dragon, but the love he has for you is so immense that it outweighed every once of coldness in his heart and actions
it honestly surprised most of the quintet when he announced that you two started dating, because out of everyone they expected to actually get a girlfriend the high elder himself was last on the list — let alone a short life species such as yourself.
dan feng does not like showing any ounce of PDA in public by any means. in the public eye, he only would have his arm around you if you were walking around, or occasionally held your hand. he would never kiss you if he knew a lot of people would be seeing it
at least that’s how he acted early on in your relationship. this lead to most people thinking you were single, so it was not uncommon that you would have guys flirt with you right in front of him.
the first time dan feng noticed a drunk guy coming into you hardcore, it made his blood boil. unlike dan heng, dan feng was totally cool with showing off his angry side.
he immediately stormed right up and got between the two of you, resting his hand against your chest and glaring at the man, “i think it’s best if you leave.”
the man scoffed as he crossed his arms, “actually, it would be best if you left. i was having a great time with her.”
dan felt his blood boil and he glared at him, “that’s my fiancée, and i suggest you get away from her immediately.”
“or what?” the man spat back. “for being her fiancé, you certainly don’t act like one.” without thinking, dan shoved the man against the wall, his arm pressed firmly over his chest, “you have some nerve to speak to your High Elder in such a way. I told you — stay away from her. you should be thankful i’m not throwing you into the Shackling Prison for being an ass.”
the man’s eyes widened as he started sobering up enough to realize how badly he fucked up. he squeaked and nodded furiously, “i-i’m so sorry, your highness! it won’t happen again!”
he’d step back and let him run off quickly. turning back to you he saw your cheeks burning red with embarrassment, and his demeanor immediately changed back to stoic. he approached you and began to walk away with you, his hand wrapped around your waist, “i believe i owe you an apology. i didn’t realize i wasn’t acting as much of a fiancé as I thought i was.”
and ever since that day, he made sure he always had his arm around you in some way, and made it very, very clear that you were his fiancée.
he’d pretty much be the same as dan heng, except way more passionate and dominating about it. he’s not afraid to entirely let his guard down in private with you, especially about anything sexual, so absolutely be prepared for a long, pleasure filled night
he’d be very dominate but definitely a pleasure dom … most of the time lol, other times he’d just be absolutely rough with you if he was really, really feeling jealous or possessive
he would not be afraid to leave a lot of marks - it made him proud that others would absolutely know you’re taken just by one glance at your neck, and he wasn’t ashamed of it, either. he knew he fucked up early on, and he made sure to always make up for it, especially in bed
and yes — part of the reason why he’s so protective over you is because you are a short life species. it absolutely destroys him that while you will grow old and spend the rest of your life with him, he cannot share the same blessing with you, and he absolutely hates himself for it. it’s not fair.
that’s why any time anyone tried anything with you, he’d get so angry over it because how dare they flirt with his one and only?
he also gave 0 fucks that some vidyadharans did not approve of you, in fact he loves to flaunt it in their faces now and kiss you at public events when he hears people murmur about the high elder and his “short-life woman.”
moral of the story, don’t fuck with the high elder’s woman or you’re a dead man
i hope this is what u had in mind alenfhehddhhd thank you for the request 🫶🏻
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welovelouisandbucky · 4 months
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My two favorite Slytherin boys headcanons bc why not?
T/w: few swear words, my writing, and some out of character stuff because im delusional, little suggestive if you can call it that, and yes aside from that if you find any pls let me know:) also my writing
A/n: hi y'all, I just want to say pls be kind as this is my first time writing for these characters so if there's any mistakes pls overlook them thank you! Also I tried my best to keep this GN so everyone can read and enjoy this and yeah that's it, have great day!!!
S/n: requests are open so feel free to send in ideas, I'll love to write what you guys suggest. Also feel free to ask for more Slytherin or any Harry Potter characters you want headcanons/blurbs about, I'll love to write and add more🤗
Masterlist
Mattheo Riddle
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(gifs credits to the rightful owner)
Also this one's long as you can see I got carried away😁
Mattheo who always looks forward to see your face after the end of the day
Mattheo who will fight any one who looks at you funny or talks shits about you
Mattheo who glares at every single person but the seconds he spots you his eyes softens up in millisecond in adoration
Mattheo who holds your books or bag everywhere you guys go, because God forbid if his princess/prince ever has to worry about those things when he's there to do them for you
Mattheo who waits after you when the class is over so he can walk you to other class while he pulls you as closer to him as possible
Mattheo who searches for you before every Quidditch game so he can have his good luck charm kiss from you
Mattheo who pretends to hate and act tough when you baby him while secretly melting into a puddle inside every time you call him sweet names. ( He absolutely loses his shit when you call him baby but shush it's a secret 😌)
Mattheo who has probably drawn you only few hundreds of times in his super, super duper, very classified sketchbook that no one knows of.
Mattheo who always encourages you to do things you want to do but are too scared to actually do it.
Mattheo who always supports your decisions, even if they are stupid
Mattheo who appropriates your little hobbies and interests even if they are weird, he just wants to you to feel safe and heard around him
Mattheo who's always there for you whenever you need him, always there to hold you close on bad days because he knows how it feels when you are at your worst and there's no one to comfort you (thankfully he doesn't have to worry about being alone now that you are here as well as his friends)
Mattheo who struggles with expressing his emotions and feelings but still tries his hardest to show them to you because he wants you to know how much you mean to him.
Mattheo who's not that good at comforting but still pulls you to him because he can't stand seeing you cry and not do anything about it.
Mattheo who willingly listens to you rant about everything and anything because he loves hearing your voice (even if half of the things you said are going above his head but hey at least he's trying! ☺️)
Mattheo who hates not knowing what's happening around him because it makes him feel helpless and he hates feeling weak. That's why he always, and I mean always knows what's going on everywhere
Mattheo who's touch starved (bc yk all that being dark Lord's son and growing up with death eaters and all) and craves your touch. He's always in any way touching you, whether holding hands, or a hand on your thigh or waist just any kind of physical touch because he wants to be as close to you as possible.
Mattheo who loves loves cuddles, doesn't matter who's spooning who as long as you guys are in each other's arms.
Mattheo who loves you so much that it physically hurts him, and there's nothing he wouldn't do you
Mattheo who will always protect you no matter what
~~~
Theodore Nott
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Theo who loves to tease you throughout the whole day just so he can see you all worked up for him
Theo who looks forward to your quick comebacks every time he comments on something he knows he will get reaction out of you and absolutely loses his shit when you roast the shit out of him for it
Theo who calls you sweet endearments in Italian because he loves to see your confused smile, contemplating whether he roasted you or called you something sweet in foreign language
Theo who keeps you company while you finish your homework in library
Theo who loves spending time with you on Astronomy tower (he just in general loves spending time with you but astronomy tower is more special to him) while you are snuggled up against his side as you guys look at stars.
Theo who will read with you, doesn't matter what kind of books you guys are reading as long as both of you are together.
Theo who prefers reading classic novels but will happily read cheesy rom-com books with you because you said so (secretly he enjoys them too but hush🙈)
Theo who actually enjoys reading poetry, and sometimes when you guys are alone he'll read few to you
Theo who's always there to comfort you whenever you have problems with your family because he knows how it feels.
Theo who's always there to stand up for you in any situation
Theo who starts to smoke less around you if it bothers you, but if you smoke too then both of you guys will smoke together at the Astronomy tower
Theo who loves silence and doesn't enjoy talking much but is always ready to listen to you talk for hours, you are the only person he can talk and listen to for eternity without ever getting sick of it.
Theo who loves when you wear his clothes
Theo who said I love you first time when he saw you curse someone out because they said some shit about him, he doesn't really care whatever shit they were saying but seeing you stand up for him made him feel emotions he never felt before.
Theo who just absolutely loves you and wants to spend entirety of his life with you
Thank you so much for reading, likes and comments are very much appreciated. As well as positive criticism, pls don't hate this is a safe place for everyone!! Bye bye have great day!!!
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Enzo's headcanon!
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fairyhaos · 3 months
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how seventeen make the shot after saying "this one's for you"
requested by anon! im actually terrible at basketball so even if none of them made the shot then id be impressed at them for trying lmaoo. also chan is in 2 bc i think he fits both!
masterlist
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seungcheol, hoshi, mingyu
makes the shot, is endlessly pleased with himself. will not shut up about it. it's going to be the story he tells during nights out with the others for the next five weeks straight. he's so genuinely delighted and he's all “did you see that? you saw that right? it's because i did it for you babe that's why it went in—” pls give this man a pat on the head and tell him that he did well bc otherwise there's a chance he'll keep pestering you until you compliment him. no but in all honesty, it really is quite sweet how excited he gets about it, and it does make you feel all kinds of loved.
jeonghan, minghao
makes the shot, and looks at you all weird when you're genuinely surprised. he knows how to handle a ball, okay? why are you so shocked? is the teensiest bit pleased on the inside though bc your reaction genuinely helped fuel his ego hugely. takes about 5 more shots in a row and is now grinning a little bc the wowed expression on your face does not fade. he has to eventually stop because he is starting to get a little embarrassed at how genuinely impressed you are.
joshua, junhui, dokyeom
doesn't make it, but he's so adorably embarrassed that it has you collapsing into a laugh and automatically going over to him to squish his cheeks, endeared. there's that tense moment where you think the ball is gonna go through the hoop, but when it ends up just bouncing off the side and shooting far away to somewhere else, he's turning away in embarrassment and you're grinning and reaching over to hug him and coo that it's okay because he made the shot into your heart long ago, and that's a shot that he definitely did not miss
woozi, seungkwan, (chan)
isn't able to make the shot right up until you finally drag him out of the court. he's normally good at this, but he swears that it's bc of the pressure he put on himself by declaring that he's gonna do it. woozi doesn't make it bc he gave up after three times. seungkwan doesn't make it bc he keeps talking between every shot and eventually you laugh and drag him home. chan tries his best, but apparently the ball must have had an argument with the hoop or smth bc it just refuses to go in and it's definitely not his fault
wonwoo, vernon, (chan)
either misses the hoop by miles or makes the shot and then gets all surprised at his own abilities. “holy shit did you see that? i'm basically a basketball god now. woozi can be the god of music and ill be the god of basketball” he is not basically a basketball god, but it was a good shot, and you laugh at how proud he is for making it as he gestures to the hoop and re-commentates the entire act for you like you weren't watching him the whole time. his reward for successfully wowing you is head pats and the promise of whatever ice cream he wants once you finally leave the court and go home.
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reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @hanniehaee @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @jeonghanfr
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hellsslibrary · 9 months
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I really liked your Epel and Riddle first time with male reader post bc I never really see top male reader content 🫂 if it's okay with you could you write a similar post for Kalim, Jamil, Floyd, Malleus, and Silver? I always appreciate your work ❤️🌈
✧・゚:*Kalim, Jamil, Floyd, Malleus and Silver's first sex with M!reader*:・゚✧
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DNI : minors.
#a.n. : Oh god thank you!! I am very pleased to hear this. Well, Top male reader is actually a rare topic in general, so I'm glad someone is enjoying it!
!!Warnings : first time (obviously), fingering, praise, comfort, Floyd is a bit of a brat, pet names, gentle sex, reference to eel mating (yeah, get ready for biology).
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Kalim.
Well... It was probably not even planned, to be honest, but it just kind of happened so spontaneously. Well, you know, just one of you will get turned on (or both of you) and the situation will just take its course.
He has been ready for a long time, so what else can he expect? Well, except for your consent, of course. But other than that, he doesn't need anything, so he's ready for you to take him at any moment.
Although of course he is nervous, because this is such a moment! His favorite boyfriend will deprive him of his virginity, it's so exciting for him! While he'll still be excited about it, he really wants you two to end up fine.
So he will give you control and dominance without any arguments. He wants to make you feel good, which means he will fulfill any of your requests/orders, just to make you feel good.
"Oh, that's so weird, you know? Not bad of course! But weird..." Kalim mutters as he watches your fingers disappear and reappear in his hole as he squeezes your shoulders in his grip.
You chuckle, spreading your fingers in him slightly, which makes him gasp for breath and squeezes your fingers, which makes you laugh even harder.
"I know, sunshine... You'll get used to it soon, trust me," he just nods vigorously at your words, enjoying your soft and slow movements.
"I believe, I believe! It's just... Oh, there!" he screams when he feels your fingers touch his sweet spot, which makes you smirk.
Of course, it was strange to feel your dick in him, and in general something inside him, but he was just in seventh heaven for happiness!
When he finally gets used to the feeling, he will let out something between a moan and a chuckle, pulling you closer and kissing your lips in a sweet and long kiss.
"Mmm, amazing... Don't stop, please!" he whimpers, wrapping his legs around your waist, bringing you even closer to him.
You let out a chuckle, nodding silently, kissing his shoulders, making occasional hickeys on his tanned skin as your hips move at a firm, moderate pace.
He moans, biting his lips in pleasure, burrowing his hands into your hair and squeezing around your cock from time to time.
"So... So g-good, oh, yo-you're so good..." he mutters, moaning as you squeeze his thigh, rubbing its inside painfully close to his bouncing, from your thrusts, cock.
He'll definitely bombard you with compliments after you're done, and he'll probably blabber about it to someone the next day (after all, how often does he think before he says something?)
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Jamil.
I don't know. I kind of want to think that he probably wouldn't care too much about it, but at the same time I can't. I think that you would also discuss the most important aspects with him, just in case.
He doesn't worry too much. He's just about to lose his virginity to the guy he loves, it's just a little exciting, that's all.
But of course he will make sure that your first time will be wonderful and memorable! Just... Just in case :) .
Doesn't really want to give you full control, but will allow you to control most of the process, although it will still take control here and there.
And you will probably be doing this at night... You know, so that all sorts of princes can't distract your Jamil.
"Uhm... A little deeper, [Your name]... Mmm, yes, right there, okay..." he mutters, relaxing under your fingers.
He closes his eyes, his tanned fingers lightly squeezing the pillowcase beneath him as your fingers slowly but surely stretch him for the next experience.
"Are you sure you don't want to speed it all up?" you ask, covering his back with kisses along his spine.
"Do we have somewhere to hurry?" he asks a clearly rhetorical question, glancing back at you over his shoulder, causing you to shake your head in denial.
And, random headcanon, I think he will almost immediately get used to the sensations of your dick inside.
It's just... He's way too relaxed and calm during the whole act (well, as far as you can be when you're being fucked, of course).
"Ghah...I never thought it would be so nice..." he mumbles into the pillow, slowly moving his hips in time with your thrusts.
"And why? You never thought this would happen?" you ask, squeezing his buttcheeks lightly, running your thumb along his stretched rim.
"I thought I wouldn't have time, ah, for this in general, b-but... It's really ni-nice," his voice breaks slightly as he feels your cock touch his prostate.
And then the whole room is filled with sighs that grow into quiet moans when you deliberately start fucking him from this angle, earning a light kick in the side from him.
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Floyd.
Well... Am I supposed to say this? It wasn't even discussed at all. It just happened. Both of you just got horny and just fucked. It's Floyd after all.
He doesn't care at all. Although he is still interested in how sex works in human form, because he probably does not know much about it. Eventually the eels reproduce (Probably. No one knows yet how the mating process occurs in eels) through clouds of sperm that fertilize nearby caviar, they don't even have a dick as such.
Actually... Whether he gives you control or not depends entirely on his mood. So hope for the option that you think is the best, imp.
But damn... It's a great feeling for him! He's also very loud, although you may not even be working on his lower half yet, so I suggest covering his mouth.
"Oh, Koebi-chan, hurry up, I can't stand it! Faster!" Floyd whines as he tries to push your hand away, but only whimpers when you press harder on his prostate.
"Shut up, Floyd. It's going to hurt if I don't stretch you, so be patient..." You whisper, pulling one of his legs over your shoulder, fingering his ass, causing him to squeeze the sheets underneath.
"You're so mean, Koebi-chan~," Floyd mutters, but obviously enjoys your touch.
Well... When your dick is in him, he will not pay attention to pain or strange sensations and will tell you to start fucking him right away!
In the end, it's such an amazing feeling... He even starts to love his human form more. He would never have thought that such pleasure was possible.
"Oh, yes, yes, yes, right there! Hu-hurry—Mhm!" He screams and then furrows his brows at you in a playful manner as you cover his mouth with your hand.
You just continue your quick but gentle thrusts into him as you feel him bite your hand lightly, causing you to hiss and your other hand slaping his ass with moderate force.
"Floyd, shut up... And don't bite, or I'll put something in your mouth, got it?" you ask, stopping your thrusts by looming over him, and tearing out a desperate moan muffled by your hand as your cock pressed even harder against his prostate.
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Malleus.
... I'm torn between two options that he knows too much about sex, or absolutely nothing, I just can't decide ... But since we're talking about virginity here, let's talk about the second option.
He probably doesn't know anything about sex except that there is a phallus and there is a hole. Like, really. So you should probably discuss this beforehand to let him know that sex is not just about instant penetration.
Definitely, he will look for any information about sex, especially about two men (I bet he did not even know that same-sex people can have sex).
And gladly give control into your hands, and also gladly take control into his hands, if that's what you want. He doesn't care as long as both of you are satisfied afterwards.
"Oh... Darling, that's... So weird, not described in the book at all..." Malleus whispers, holding his legs wide for you.
"I don't even want to know what book it is... But anyway, it'll be nice after you get used to it, I promise," you whisper, kissing him on the mark on his forehead, which makes him hum in satisfaction.
"I get it... Then I'll try to get used to it," he nods to himself, closing his eyes and focusing on the feel of your fingers in him.
He probably won't even feel pain at the moment of penetration of your dick, like the truth. He will immediately get used to it, adapt and that's it.
Although he is very sensitive, yes. Considering that the boy is so desperate for touch and he gets the most intimate of them, this is too good for him! Although he is still quite collected.
"Oh, love... You're amazing. You know... Can you bend forward a little, please?" he asks you, and you raise an eyebrow, but you bend over him a little forward, digging a moan out of him.
"What you..?" you stop short when you notice how his fangs bite his lower lip in pleasure, which makes you smile, and continue thrusting in this position.
"It's just that in the wide-legged position, you have to bend over further, mhm, and there will be more pleasure, because the pressure of the ph-phallus on the prostate will be stronger, well, at least that's what I read," he mumbles, lying on his side.
"He's really over-prepared..." you mutter under your breath, chuckling, but take his left knee in your hand, spreading his legs a little wider, eliciting a whimper from him.
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Silver.
Well, he definitely knows that sex is sex. He does not know the subtleties, but he understands the basics quite well. So, you still need to discuss it with him one way or another.
Absolutely not against doing this, although he is worried, of course. But not because he will lose his virginity (although this also worries him a little), but because he is afraid to fall asleep.
He will completely give control to you without pretensions and disputes, which is not surprising. And tell you to wake him up if he suddenly falls asleep, of course.
Although... I doubt he will sleep tonight. In the end, it's a new experience, a sensation for him, and also a slight fear that someone (we don't go into details ;) ) might hear you two and Silver will never see the end of teasing about it.
Only soft moans and whimpers came out of his mouth as he fidgeted on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position to lie down.
You chuckle at this, taking his waist with your free hand and pulling his body closer to you so that his ass rests on your lap and his upper half remains on the mattress.
He groans, but then relaxes, trying not to moan too loudly for fear that someone might hear you, so when he feels your fingers touch his prostate, he pulls you closer, kissing you and moaning against your lips.
He wasn't particularly tense during the act anyway, so it wasn't too uncomfortable when you entered him, although it still hurt.
"Oh, hush, hush, it's not that painful, you know?" you whisper soothingly, wiping a couple of tears from the edge of his sleepy eyes, to which he nods.
"Yes, yes... Continue please, I'll get used to it... It's all right," he smiles reassuringly, nodding weakly.
You nod, kissing his closed eyelids, which makes him smile tenderly, hugging your neck as you cover his face, shoulders, and neck in kisses, which makes him laugh at the tickle, moaning at your thrusts.
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yoon-kooks · 1 year
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the lingerie era | myg
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🦋pairing: neighbor!yoongi x reader (f)
🦋genre: smut, fluff, f2l, neighbor!au, childhoodfriend!au, best friend’s older brother, lingeriemodel!reader
🦋summary: Sending Min Yoongi, aka your ridiculously hot neighbor/childhood friend, a photo of yourself in lingerie might be the best or stupidest mistake you’ve ever made.
🦋word count: 10.1k
🦋warnings: fingering, oral (m receiving), corruption kink, gagging, deepthroating...? rough sex w/protection, implied masturbation (m), light degradation, the way oc becomes a slut for his cock so quick, yoongi touches boobies, nipple play, dirty talk, yoongi teasing reader for 4263 years straight bc he's mean
a/n: this is the extended version of the airdrop incident! if you haven't read that drabble already, it's fine bc that scene is included in this one!💖
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An onlooker might be wondering why you’re standing outside your neighbor’s door at ass o’clock in nothing but an oversized tee, but the answer is simple. Mistakes were made. You’re an idiot.
Approximately five minutes ago, you thought it’d be cute to send your best friend Mo a photo from your first day at your new job. But it wasn’t just any photo. It was a photo of you in strappy black lingerie, lying on beige silk sheets all glowy and oiled up. You’re gazing up into the camera lens like it’s the dark eyes of a man about to rail you. 
As weird as it sounds to be sending that kind of photo to your best friend, you’ve known her your entire life and she’s always been the number one supporter of your modeling career. In fact, she’s the one who bugged you for the pics in the first place.
You have no regrets for wanting to share the photo with your best friend. You just hate yourself for thinking it’d be fine to AirDrop it since she lives right next door. In your defense, your company is paying for your work phone—the new iPhone—and you were eager to play around with all the random features you won’t otherwise be using. Besides, AirDrop has a small range and Mo is your neighbor, so it was the perfect opportunity to test it out. In theory, she would’ve received the photo no problem—if she were actually home.
But Mo wasn’t home. You’d realized that too late after the AirDrop had gone through to someone else. Mortified is an understatement of how you felt when she sent a text saying, “GIRL;;;; I’m at Namjoon’s place rn;;;; I  am NOT in AirDrop range🥲”
For a good two minutes, you were convinced it must’ve been some creepy stalker who’d accepted your AirDrop… or the sweet elderly lady who lives across the street and occasionally drops off a tray of baked goods. You could totally see her accidentally accepting the AirDrop, only to be blindsided and violated by that photo of you. There’s no way in hell you’ll be able to return her sparkly red reindeer platter from her last cookie delivery. Not after she’s seen you like that.
But then an even darker thought came to mind. And you’d take creepy stalker or innocent granny over that any day.
That’s how you ended up on your neighbor’s doorstep at ass o’clock.
After letting you stand out in the cold for a whole ass minute, he finally answers the door. “He” as in Min Yoongi, your childhood friend slash nemesis, the older brother of your best friend, or, in the simplest terms, your hot neighbor.
And when you say “hot,” you mean really hot. Your innocent little crush on him was cute when you were ten, but the admiration has since evolved into pure lust. You’ve admittedly thought about him in ways you should not be thinking about a childhood friend let alone your best friend’s brother. 
Whenever you catch a glimpse of his big hands, you wish they were on your body, you wish his long veiny fingers would curl inside you, and the tiniest part of you wishes he wasn’t someone you had a long history with. You always feel like you have to be on your toes around him because of that history. Because you know it can all fall apart with one wrong move—like accidentally sending him a suggestive lingerie photo. Oops.
“Yes?” he raises a brow, staring at the way you’re shivering outside his door, the way your perky nipples are most definitely poking through your shirt. You’re sure he sees it all. But given the fact that he’s practically seen you naked, you don’t even bother covering up. What’s the point?
“Did you, by chance, get an AirDrop like five minutes ago?” you get straight to the point. It’s fucking freezing, after all. He could’ve at least asked you to come inside for a sec. You would’ve declined to avoid the risk of temptation, but still.
“Depends,” he hums, eyes still very much on your chest. The boy has no shame apparently. You’re pretty sure he’s dating that pretty brunette you’ve seen sneaking in and out of his house lately, so why’s he looking at you like that? “What was the AirDrop?”
“A picture of me,” you mumble. It was freezing a minute ago, but now your face feels hot. That’s weird.
“Hmm, not sure if the one I’m thinking of is you or not.” The bastard puts on his most exaggerated thinking face—like that emoji with the hand on his chin. You hate him. “What were you wearing?”
“Nothing!” you squeak at him. Both of you know no one fucking uses AirDrop except old people. He’s obviously playing dumb and knows what’s going on. He just wants to hear it from your mouth to make his ego bigger than it already is. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“Pretty sure you were wearing something…” he furrows his brow, unlocking his phone to “confirm” what he saw. You snatch the phone out of his hand, but he seems to remember the contents of the photo just fine. “Ah, yes. Black strappy lingerie, right? I didn’t know you were like that, Y/N.”
“Fuck you,” you hiss as you scroll through and search for the picture in question. AirDrop must have its own stupid section on the phone because you can’t find it anywhere.
“Relax, I already deleted it,” he chuckles at how determined you are. You’re not falling for it. Surely he’s already leaked the photo on OnlyFans. You don’t have a whole lot of faith in Min Yoongi. He’s never been The Nice Guy. “Who were you trying to send it to?”
“None of your business.” He has a girlfriend, after all. Why should he care about who you’re sending those kinds of pictures to?
“My sister?”
“Fine. Yes, her.”
“You’re sneaking around sending nudes to my sister? On AirDrop?” he narrows his eyes. Why does he seem more disgusted at the AirDrop part? You’d laugh if you weren’t so stressed. “She’s in a very committed relationship, you know.”
“I’m aware.” You don’t know what’s worse—him thinking you’re hitting on his sister aka your best friend, or admitting the pic was from a photoshoot for your new job. There are no winners here. Might as well come clean. “She’s the one who asked for pics so she could fangirl over her lingerie model best friend.”
“My little Y/N grew up and became a lingerie model?” He tilts his head, intrigued. He might’ve deleted the pic from his phone, but you bet the image is forever ingrained in that fuckboy head of his. You wonder how his girlfriend feels about him thinking of other girls in that context. You’d feel shitty. He’s a horrible boyfriend. “In that case, I’d also like to show support. Mind if you send the pic ag—” 
You cut him off with a growl. His eyes slowly work their way up your bare legs to your chest to your death glare.
“I kid, I kid.” He waves his hands like a white flag so you don’t pounce on him. But then something occurs to him. His smug look turns into a frown. “Wait, so AirDropping it to me wasn’t ‘an accident’?” he asks with air quotes.
“No, it was a real accident, Yoongi,” you scoff. You can’t believe he thought you’d intentionally sent that pic to him. He’s so full of himself. He’s the last person you’d ever want to see those pics.
“Well that’s no fun.”
“Elaborate.”
“It would’ve been kinda cute if you did it to get my attention,” he shrugs, leaning his head against the doorframe. “Just like when we were younger. Remember how you’d always tug on my arm and pout until I acknowledged you?”
“No, but it’s kinda weird that you remember it.” You finally cross your arms in front of your chest. “It’s also kinda weird that you want my attention when that’s what your girlfriend is there for.”
“It’s kinda weird that you keep up with my love life and know I have a girlfriend,” he fires back at you in his usual arrogant tone. “I’m breaking up with her, by the way. Just in case you wanted to know.”
You pause the petty war for a second. Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend because you accidentally sent him one (1) risqué photo of yourself? To be fair, you do look pretty hot in that photo. But still! You’ve known the guy your whole life, and all it’s ever amounted to was banter with a hint of feelings and dirty thoughts on your end. You’d always assumed Yoongi thought of you as nothing more than his little sister’s friend. Surely he’s just toying with you right now. Because that’s what fuckboys do. 
That’s what Min Yoongis do.
“Good to know,” you nod, the cold breeze coming back. You better leave now before you do something stupid again. Stupid AirDrop. “Well, I’m gonna go now. It’s fucking cold.”
You drop his phone into his palm, your fingers grazing his in the process. They’re so warm. But your fluffy blanket is warmer. And it’d never betray you.
“Thanks for only being a slight dick about the pic,” you say, scurrying off to your doorstep.
“Anytime,” he smirks. Asshole. “I’ll AirDrop you later.”
“I don’t want your dick pics, sir.” You hear his laugh before closing the door.
A minute later, you get an AirDrop of what you hope is not in fact a dick pic. You accept it immediately. It’s a blurry selfie of him on his bed, flipping you off with an emphasis on how much extra mattress space he has. That has to be the quickest breakup of all time. They don’t call him a fuckboy for nothing.
He accompanies the selfie with a simple text:
Yoongi🗿 [2:03AM] “Your loss”
The rest of the night is spent staring at the extra space next to him on his bed. He’s taunting you. Teasing you. Tempting you to do something you’ll surely regret. Well, you’re not taking the bait. The accidental AirDrop was an honest mistake, but this one would be all on you. Because you understand the risks.
It’s best to keep things how they are between you two.
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After a night of tossing and turning, your week somehow gets worse. Your car decides to malfunction fifteen minutes before you’re supposed to be at work. You swear it was working perfectly yesterday. Then again, you don’t know shit about cars.
Your first instinct is to call Mo. You like to think of yourself as a prepared person, but shit happens. And when shit happens, Mo is your person—your one phone-a-friend. But you know she’s with Namjoon, and you know she’d drop everything including him for you—you’d do the same for her. You’d rather not be a cockblock when things are going so well for them.
Alternatively, you would’ve borrowed your parents’ car, but they moved into a nicer place a few years ago and reluctantly left you behind after a lot of convincing on your end. You can handle yourself, you told them. And it was going great—until The AirDrop Incident happened and your car refused to start up for no fucking reason. 
Uber and public transportation are other options, but you don’t have time to wait for those rides to arrive. You need to leave in the next 30 seconds or risk being late. Your new job is on the line here.
And that’s why you find yourself, once again, at Min Yoongi’s doorstep. You hate it here.
He opens the door and blinks his heavy lids at you several times before saying anything. Poor boy. The morning sun is too bright for him, like a cat waking up from its first nap of the day. And yet, he still manages to look so attractive with that messy hair and furrowed brow. You bet the raspiness in his voice is even more seductive in the morning. It is.
“Are we really doing this again?” he asks, pointing his finger back and forth between you and him. At least he’s awake enough to realize shit like this shouldn’t be happening two days in a row. You’re sick of it too.
“I need to be at a shoot in like ten minutes, and my car is fucked up right now, so…” You wish the boy would finish the sentence for you, but he’s just standing there like a smug ass. You’d shove him over, but you’re going to be late and he’s your only option. So you swallow your pride, just this once. “Do you think you can give me a ride?”
He makes some sort of grunt and says, “I’ll be out in a sec,” before shutting the door in your face. You’ll take that over the teasing you were expecting. Must be too early for the banter.
As soon as you get into his car, you realize you were horribly wrong. The false sense of security got you good. Apparently, it’s never too early for banter.
“What would you do without me, hm?” he asks, looking more awake and alive than ever before. Glowing, even. You knew it. He gets a kick out of you needing his help. He’s always been like this. One time when you were seven, your dumb ass climbed up a tree and got stuck up there like a cat. He’d only helped you down after you begged him for ten minutes straight. And although he stood right below you to break your fall in the unlikely event that you slipped, he also had a big fat smile on his face the entire time. He’s the worst.
“I’d manage.”
“I’m sure you would, Y/N.” He doesn’t sound very convinced. Kind of like your parents before they agreed to trust you on your own. “So, what’s this about lingerie and modeling?”
“Got a problem with it?” you challenge him. The very reason you haven’t told anyone else about your job aside from your best friend is that fear of judgment. As far as your parents know, you do modeling for a trendy clothing brand (you do). They just don’t know about your side hustle. You’re sure a guy like Yoongi has no problem with it, though. In fact, last night he sounded awfully eager to support your new job because it just so happens to center around two of his favorite things—tits and ass.
“Not at all,” he hums. “Just curious how it happened.”
“My ex had connections to the company,” you say.
“And you dumped him after he got you a job?” He raises his brow and laughs. What’s he so amused about? “Kind of savage, Y/N.”
“Actually, he broke up with me,” you correct him. How dare he assume you’re the savage one.
“Why would he do that?” he asks, as if it’s not normal for people to break up. Maybe it’s just his protective gene kicking in. He was the same way when he heard about your first breakup years ago.
“He said I wasn’t giving him enough,” you shrug. You’re honestly not too upset about it. It’s not like you had enough time to get attached to him anyway.
“Giving him enough what? Head?”
You glare at the boy even though you really want to laugh. He’s not entirely wrong.
“Sorry.” He does a quick glance at you as he turns the corner. Still smiling, though. “Well, if I had to guess, it had something to do with you playing hard to get.”
“I do not play hard to get,” you say with a firm hmph. 
“You’re certainly not making it easy now,” he frowns. Okay, maybe he has a point. But in your defense, the trait rubbed off on you from Yoongi himself. You spent your entire childhood chasing after him and wound up with nothing. You worked your ass off for any sort of reciprocated feelings from him, only for him to continue to treat you like an annoying child as you both grew older. 
By the time college came around, you were tired of doing all the chasing and thought you’d finally outgrown that neediness for him. You told yourself it was better that way, to keep him as nothing more than a bittersweet childhood memory. And you moved on. For once, you just wanted to be desired and admired by someone as deeply as you’d felt for Yoongi.
And when you think about it, all of your past relationships might have relied too much on the thrill of the chase. You never thought about what came after. You never envisioned a future beyond the chase. That’s why those relationships were so quick to fizzle out. You didn’t give them a reason to stick around. 
You didn’t give them enough.
Yoongi unlocks the doors as he pulls up in front of the building for the shoot. You unbuckle your seatbelt and thank him on the way out like he’s your Uber driver.
But then he goes off script. “When should I pick you up?”
You weren’t expecting a ride home. After your car died on you, you’d immediately changed from your cute ankle boots into sneakers in preparation for the long walk home after work. In fact, you would’ve opted to walk to work too if you had enough time. Like you said before, you can handle yourself just fine. Ever since you found your footing as a model and started living alone, you’ve stopped relying on anyone else.
“No need. I’ll walk home,” you gently decline, kicking your white sneakers up for him to see. 
Still, you can’t pretend like it doesn’t feel nice that the boy offered you another ride. It’s a subtle gesture, but it lets you know he’s watching out for you. There’s at least one person you can count on, even when your best friend and family aren’t around. And that’s already more than you could ever ask for.
“We can grab dinner after,” he suggests, leaning his arms against the steering wheel. You know exactly what he’s doing—playing to your weakness and bribing you with food. Because that’s the one thing you rarely ever say no to. You’ve always been that way.
“Okay, sure. I’ll be done around six.” 
It’s fine. You’ll pay for his meal as thanks for the rides. Then you’re even. 
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The first half of the shoot goes well. The lingerie they’ve picked out for you is super pretty, and the assistant said you get to keep your favorite set after the day wraps up. Right now, you’re feeling pretty fucking good despite the stressful night and morning you had. 
During your lunch break, you find some shameless texts waiting for you.
Yoongi🗿 [10:34AM] “My friend would like you to send pics of your wardrobe😌”
Yoongi🗿 [10:34AM] “For science”
For science. Your smile flattens just a little. You get that he’s just teasing you, but part of you really wonders if he’s only paying this much attention to you because of your job and the picture you’d AirDropped to him. All you are to him is a hot body to look at. That’s the only reason he broke up with his girlfriend, isn’t it? 
If you hadn’t been a dumbass and sent him that photo, he would’ve simply dropped you off at work like the silent Uber driver he was supposed to be. And that would’ve been the end of it. There wouldn’t have been a “let’s get dinner after” or a “send pics of your skimpy lingerie.”
And yet, this is exactly what you’d been yearning for since age five—his attention.
If you really wanted to, you could play along and send him a teaser of the lingerie you decided to take home—a polka-dot mesh set that is very seethrough. You could even drop it in his lap when he picks you up later and tell him it’s a souvenir. That’d get his attention for sure. 
But you’re not going to do that. Obviously. Instead, you send him a boring pic of a rack with empty hangers. Because that’s playing it safe.
Yoongi🗿 [12:58PM] “Going nude today?”
Yoongi🗿 [12:58PM] “Or are those micro thongs getting smaller?🧐”
Yoongi🗿 [12:59PM] “Hello”
You wheeze. He’s lucky you’ve known him since birth. If it were any other guy, you’d ghost him for saying shit like that. Then again, he’s only saying it because he knows he can get away with it with you. 
Y/N🐣 [1:00PM] “i have to get back to work now🫡”
When you finally reach the homestretch of the shoot, you’re tired and more than a little hungry. It’s been a long day, but you want to finish strong before indulging in a nice dinner with you-know-who. You decided you want to take him to your favorite new sushi spot. Not because you know he loves sushi but because it’s what you happen to be craving today.
While sitting down on the fluffiest rug your ass has ever felt, you model a pretty white set with lots of ties like a bikini. Just a few more photos to go, and then you can get your sushi with your Uber driver. But then your starved brain starts to fuck with you.
Just off to the side behind the camera, you see a shadow that looks a lot like Yoongi. You know it’s not actually him, though. It’s just a hallucination spawning from your cravings. Your cravings for sushi, you clarify to yourself.
Then the shadow crosses his arms and smirks as you get on your knees and press an innocent finger to your bottom lip like you’re just asking for your mouth to be filled. As soon as the camera captures a few shots, your eyes dart back to check on the shadow. He gives you a thumbs up.
That’s not a shadow.
Suddenly, your cheeks are hot and your chest is pounding. He’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to focus when you know your childhood friend is watching? You have all these eyes on your body as it is, but he’s the only one that really gets you flustered. More flustered than your first day on the job here.
“Can we redo that shot one more time, please?” the photographer asks. “Relax your shoulders a bit, honey.”
You drop your shoulders, but that’s not going to hide the way your heart is practically pounding out of your chest that you know he’s got his eyes glued to.
“Actually, can I take a quick water break?” You shoot up from the rug, take a long sip of water, grab your thin little robe, and drag your unwanted visitor off to the side.
“Hi to you, too,” he says, glancing down at the way your fingers wrap around his wrist.
“What are you doing here?” Your shaky tone screams of unease. When he said he’d pick you up, you weren’t expecting him to actually go in like a parent picking up their kid from school. He was supposed to stay put in his car where you’d meet him after work. That was the plan. Not this.
He studies your face as if he’s debating whether or not you’re being serious right now, as if he expected you to be happy to see him. After building up the anticipation for several seconds more, he has the audacity to say, “Just here to show my support for my lingerie model neighbor.”
Why did you even bother asking? You should’ve known. He just confirmed what you’d hoped wasn’t true. He’s only paying any attention to you because of that dirty image you ingrained in his head with that dumb AirDrop.
And to be honest, you’re kind of over it. Maybe it’s just your empty stomach raging, but he should know that this is crossing the line. He’s your neighbor for crying out loud. He’d seen you lose your two front teeth, gone trick-or-treating with you, witnessed your awkward teen phase, and all that other wholesome childhood shit. Sure, he gave you a hard time every step of the way, but his presence in your life and the memories you made together were all you ever wanted to protect. 
That’s why you chose to stay behind when your parents moved away. You were fine with being away from your own family, and you were even fine when Mo started spending more time with Namjoon. But Yoongi has always been a different case.
You gave up on seeing him in a romantic way after realizing it just wasn’t realistic. If you’d let yourself feel that way any longer, he’d eventually have to reject you, and then that would be the end of it. And you’d much rather keep him in your life than risk it all with a dumb confession of unrequited love. He doesn’t love you, and you’re okay with that.
You just wish he wouldn’t make it so painfully obvious that it’s only your body that he’s after. Because that’s when it might be easier on your heart to cut ties with him.
“I work better when you’re not here.” You let go of his wrist and don’t look up from the red mark your tight grip left on his pale skin. You’re not going to let his charm sway you. He needs to leave. Nothing good can come out of him being here.
So he backs away and leaves.
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As you tie your sneakers and refill your water bottle in preparation for the long walk home, you let out a big sigh. Looks like you won’t be getting your sushi fix tonight. Stupid AirDrop.
You wave bye to the crew and claim your free lingerie before stepping outside. To your surprise, it’s already dark out even though you thought the sun wasn’t supposed to set until seven. If you squint hard enough, you swear you can see Yoongi’s car parked in the lot. 
So you try not to squint.
But as soon as you walk past the car, your feet make a u-turn until you can see the boy leaning back in his seat, eyes closed and arms folded against his chest. You might still be upset, but you can’t deny how good-looking he is. It’s not fair. The only reason you stop staring is to avoid judgment from anyone passing by. And because you kind of need to talk to him.
You knock on the window on the passenger side.
He doesn’t even flinch.
You knock again. Still nothing. Either he’s dead, or he’s just fucking with you. He better not be fucking with you when you’re mad. Read the room, asshole.
Trying your best not to throw your phone at his window, you instead use it to call him. His phone screen blinds you as it flashes on in the darkness and vibrates against his thigh.
This time you catch the slightest twitch of his pretty pink lips. They’re glowing in the light of his phone screen.
You walk around to the driver’s side and get a better look at his glowy handsome face. “I know you’re awake.”
Now he has a full smile to accompany his closed eyelids, cosplaying as a happy corpse.
You roll your eyes at him and start walking in the opposite direction. “All good, I’ll just walk home.”
The doors unlock real quick. The corpse snaps out of his eternal slumber. “Hey, I was kidding,” he calls out the window. “Come back here.”
For the second time in the past three minutes, you make a u-turn toward his car. But this time, you hop in, hesitant to look him in the eye.
“I didn’t think you’d still be waiting here…” You bite your lip. You wish he weren’t still here. Then you wouldn’t be forced to talk about what happened earlier. It’d be much easier to not talk about your feelings.
“You agreed to grab dinner with me afterward, didn’t you?” He’s acting like you didn’t banish him from the building twenty minutes ago. He’s acting like you could’ve told him to never speak to you again and he’d still be waiting here because of some promise you’d both made earlier in the day. He would’ve been waiting here for you no matter what. 
Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten that upset. Time to go in over-two-decades-of-history-preservation mode.
“Yeah but… I kind of overreacted earlier. Then again, I don’t know how else I’m supposed to react when my neighbor sees me half-naked,” you say, shrinking in your seat. “I still meant what I said, though. I work a lot better when you’re not around because you make it hard to focus.”
You immediately regret admitting that last bit.
“It’s understandable that you get so flustered around me. Kind of cute, too,” he hums like he just won the lottery. Mother fucker. “But I should’ve just been honest with you earlier.”
“What do you mean?” You tilt your head like a lost puppy.
“Someone obviously hasn’t checked their phone in a while,” he chuckles, pointing to the pink phone resting atop the mesh lingerie in your bag. You grab your phone and shove the lingerie deeper into your bag until it’s out of his view. Hopefully, he didn’t notice.
Sure enough, you have more unread texts waiting for you beneath the thirsty ones from lunch.
Yoongi🗿 [6:29PM] “Is the shoot running late?”
Yoongi🗿 [6:29PM] “No rush btw. Just want to make sure you didn’t die in the bathroom or something haha”
Yoongi🗿 [7:01PM] “So should I be concerned or”
Yoongi🗿 [7:02PM] “Just to clarify, I don’t believe you’re deceased in the bathroom”
Yoongi🗿 [7:02PM] “But I am gonna go in and check lol”
Then you realize how late it is. It’s over an hour past the time you told Yoongi you’d be done. No wonder it’s fucking dark out.
Your whole mind is spinning, and you have a lot of questions. You turn to him, and the first thing you ask is, “You thought I died in the bathroom?”
“You were running late, not responding, and, well… I had to check,” he shrugs his shoulders. “I didn’t know the lady at the front desk was going to bring me right to the shoot.” So he had good intentions after all. He wasn’t just after your body—far from it, in fact. He was genuinely worried about you. 
Well, shit. Now you look like the asshole for telling him to fuck off after he thought to check up on you like a guardian angel. He should’ve just said so in the first place. But maybe it’s hard for him to admit that sort of thing, too. You can relate.
You still feel bad, though. Doubt had clouded your better judgment because of your own insecurities. You didn’t believe what he was doing for you was unconditional. But the truth is, he cares about you more than you know. He always has.
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Was Yoongi completely and utterly crushed after you’d asked him to leave your photoshoot? Yes. But he wasn’t going to show that to you. After all, as far as you knew, he’d only dropped by to check you out in that pretty lingerie. That’s always been his biggest downfall. He’s never been fully honest with you. It’s understandable that you’d be frustrated with him.
You had every right to be mad at him for interfering with your work. You had every right to walk away right past his car after the shoot. And yet, you still chose to sit down beside him to salvage whatever it is between you and him. It’s always been complicated like this, but it’s worth all the petty bickering you guys do on a daily basis. Seeing you so flustered and cute makes it all worth it.
The last thing he wants is for you to slip through his fingers. Because a world without you would just be weird. And boring. And lonely.
And now you’re rambling on about sushi—his favorite food. You claim you’ve been craving it all day, but it’s not very convincing.
“Hey, the sushi place is the other way,” you frown as he turns left instead of right. “You’re the worst Uber driver ever. I’m leaving you a one-star review.”
“I thought you didn’t like sushi,” he points out, completely ignoring your Karen threat.
“Yeah, when I was like ten. I’m allowed to change what I like, aren’t I?” You make a good point. Maybe your taste buds have changed and you aren’t just catering to his preferences. But it’s in his nature to keep pushing your buttons, to keep getting a reaction out of you. That’s the one thing he knows will never change between you and him.
“You were cuter when you didn’t like sushi.”
“Fuck you.” You turn your head away from him and toward the window to hide your face. He can still see your reflection, though. For such harsh words, your expression is soft. 
It’s funny because that’s what Yoongi has always liked most about you. You’re a tough cookie—you know it, he knows it, everyone knows it—but the best cookies are the ones with soft centers. And he loves to devour and savor that soft side you only seem to show him.
About ten minutes later, he pulls up to a drive-thru you’ll surely recognize. He doesn’t go there often himself, but whenever he does, he’s reminded of those Halloween nights spent scaring the shit out of you before spending his allowance to buy you a kid’s meal with a dumb light-up pumpkin toy. He’s reminded of the time you broke up with your first boyfriend and needed someone to rant to over vanilla milkshakes and fries. He’s reminded of the past two decades the two of you shared together, no matter how silly or short-lived the moments were. He’s cherished all of it.
It might not be the sushi you’d hoped for, but your eyes light up when you see the fast food sign. You lean in closer to him to get a better look at the menu. Today you smell like fruit and—he goes in for another sniff by your neck, purely to identify the intoxicating scent you’re wearing—something floral. 
“Ooh, order me the nugget combo with an iced coffee,” you finally glance at him, mid-sniff, with the eyes of an angel. He knew you’d appreciate the fast food.
“You and your nuggets. What are you? A baby?” he chuckles before being greeted and prompted to order over the speaker. “Can we get a burger combo with iced coffee, one kid’s meal with nuggets and milk—” 
You give his shoulder a small shove. 
He smirks but otherwise continues on as if nothing happened, “—and a nugget combo with iced coffee.”
“So a total of two combos and one kid’s meal?” the employee double-checks.
“Actually—”
“Yeah,” he cuts you off and drives to the pick-up window before you could protest and cancel the kid’s meal order.
“Why do you need a kid’s meal?” you mumble as the employee hands off the big bag of food to Yoongi. You’re so cute when you’re pouty.
“It’s for you, obviously.” He pulls into a spot in the empty lot and takes a sip of his coffee.
“Why do you always treat me like a baby?” That’s the question you ask as you take the kid’s meal box from his hand and start snacking on the few nuggets it comes with.
Because you’re tiny and cute and need to be protected at all costs, he wants to say. Instead he goes with the safer option. “Because you’re my little sister’s friend.”
“But Mo’s rarely ever around anymore. I feel like I’m spending more time with you than her at this point.” That’s true. Her and Namjoon have basically become inseparable. That must suck at least a little for you. 
“I personally wouldn’t let that slide.” As much as Yoongi loves his sister and knows she’d do anything for you if you asked, he also knows you’re not the type to reach out unless you really need to. If Mo understood you the way he understands you, she’d know to check in with you, to send you the occasional random meme in case you’re having a bad day, and to remind you that you aren’t alone. 
But that’s where he comes in. 
“It’s fine, I’m happy for her and Namjoon. Last I heard, she’s waiting for the proposal.” You set down the empty kid’s meal box and move on to your actually dinner. He has to resist the urge to pick the little nugget crumb off the corner of your lips.
“You don’t feel left behind?” he asks. It’s crazy to think his little sister could be getting married soon. Meanwhile, he’s watched you cycle through several boyfriends without much luck. His own love situation isn’t much different, but that’s what happens when no relationship has inspired him to do the things he does for you. Your presence in his life is more than just love and lust. 
Everything you are to him is unconditional.
You shake your head at his question as you glance up at the stars through the windshield. “There’s only one person I’d ever feel left behind by.”
If it’s not Mo or your family, then surely it’s the guy you’ve been chasing after all these years, the guy who teases you because you have a cute pout, the guy who’s been with you every step of the way. The one guy you didn’t want to see your lingerie photos in fear of ruining everything. Surely it’s him you’d be hurt by most if you lost him.
“He’s not going anywhere, Y/N,” he assures you.
You continue to study the stars in silence. There are no shooting stars out tonight, but what you’re looking for isn’t a wish. “Is that a promise?”
He nods. The easiest nod of his life. “That’s how it’s always been, right?”
You nod back. It’s always been you and him. Nothing could ever erase that history you’ve both been trying so hard to protect. There’s no need to play it safe anymore. The history between you and him is stronger than that.
As a way to transition out of the sappy stuff, you reach down and grab the toy from the kid’s meal—a tiny soft cat, probably from a baby cartoon or whatever. You have an awfully big smile on your face for someone who complained about ordering the kid’s meal in the first place. 
Without thinking, Yoongi snatches the cat out of your grasp and dangles it by the tail in front of your eyes. “I’ll be keeping this.”
“I thought you said it was my kid’s meal.” You swing your little paw at him to reclaim your prize, but he’s too quick, holding the cat captive just out of your reach. It’s incredible how easy you are to taunt, especially over something as silly as a toddler toy. Maybe he’s just become a pro at it with over two decades of experience.
After unbuckling your seatbelt, you practically lunge over the center console and lean your weight on the edge of his seat with one hand while the other reaches for the cat, now pressed against the window on Yoongi’s side. He can smell your pretty perfume again, and he’s going to make it last as long as possible.
He brings the cat forward until it’s an inch away from your hand to encourage you to stretch just a tad closer to him. It apparently works, because the hand supporting your body has moved onto his thigh to give you the extra bit of reach. 
If you’re both not careful, you might fall into his lap. He wouldn’t mind it of course, but then you’d feel how hard he’s getting just from having your hand on his thigh like that. Your sweet scent isn’t helping his situation either.
“Say please and it’s all yours.” He lets out an awkward half-cough after inhaling a large dose of your perfume. Very smooth, Yoongi.
You narrow your eyes at him before backing off. His thigh can finally breathe, not that it wanted to. “I don’t need it that bad.”
Aww, you’re acting all tough again. Yoongi slips the cat plush into his pocket with a smirk. “See? Playing hard to get.”
“I swear I’m only like this with you. You drive me mad,” you let out a dramatic sigh.
That’s right. He affects you in a way no one else does. “Good.”
“No, not good.” You wiggle a finger at him as you scan the receipt and pull out your phone. Several seconds later, he gets a notification of you sending him money for all the food.
“You could’ve at least let me pay for the kid’s meal.” Especially after he pocketed the cat.
“I’m just paying you back for all the rides so far.” So far? Interesting choice of words.
“Does that mean you’re going to need another one tomorrow?” He takes another sip of his coffee.
“I don’t know, maybe. I’m getting my car looked at tomorrow morning before work, but…” You have that ashamed look on your face again for having to ask for another ride. You’re not a burden to him. Ever.
“Got it. I’ll be on standby. Just AirDrop me if—”
“Enough with the AirDrop.” You give him another feisty shove and almost knock his coffee out of his hand. Even if the coffee had stained his whole car, he would’ve forgiven you immediately because your smile is so pretty. He’s just happy you’re back to being playful with him. “If I need anything, I’ll let you know. Thank you, Yoongi.”
On the drive home, you tell him more about your job with such a glow. The days might be long sometimes, but the crew has been so sweet, and the photographer “knows how to make you look good.” The photographer could be terrible and you’d still look amazing. There’s no doubt in Yoongi’s mind about that.
You also mention something about special little perks, too.
“Special little perks like what?” he asks, more curious than he’d like to be.
“Guess.” Why are you tempting him like this?
“Does it have something to do with the lingerie in your bag?”
You blink at him like a deer in headlights. Uh oh. “You were supposed to pretend like you didn’t see that.”
“See what?” he plays along. Good save, Yoongi.
You give him a thumbs-up and smile the rest of the way home.
After parking in the space in front of his house, Yoongi takes a five-second look at your car right behind his. It looks perfectly fine. Whatever the issue is, it’s not visible from the outside, but hopefully it stays broken for a while.
“Is it actually broken or did you just say that to score a ride from the handsome guy next door?” he teases.
“The latter, obviously,” you deadpan before switching over to the most precious giggle ever. You’re so fucking cute. “Thanks for the ride, Handsome Guy Next Door.”
“No problem.” He watches, amused, as you dig through the lingerie in your bag to find your keys. He’d turn on the flashlight on his phone to help you see better, but he’s supposed to be ignoring that mesh polka-dotted lingerie. That’s what a good and respectful neighbor would do. 
Fuck it. He immediately breaks down and shines a light on the sheer bralette and g-string (and your keys). It’d look so pretty on you.
You grab your keys and shoo away his shameless horny eyes. That’s his cue to leave things as they are, just as he had the night before. If you wanted something more, you’d let him know. He’s already assured you everything will be fine between you and him no matter what.
Just as he unlocks his door, you stop him in his tracks.
“Yoongi, wait.”
He turns around, a little too eager some might say. You haven’t even said anything else, but he’s already ready to say yes to whatever it is.
You dig around in your bag again. He catches a glimpse of the mesh fabric between your fingers. He’ll take a souvenir any day.
But then you toss it back in your bag and hum an innocent, “Never mind, it’s nothing.”
You’re such a tease. Oh how the tables have turned.
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As soon as you close the door behind you, you kick off your white sneakers, and take the teeny tiny lingerie with you to your room.
You saw how quick he was to turn around when you called out to him. You saw how he practically drooled at the lingerie in your bag. He wasn’t ready for the night to end either.
Piece by piece, you toss your clothes aside and replace them with the mesh polka-dotted triangles. Your little nipples are so visible through the thin pieces of cloth. Good.
Then you take a quick bed selfie, just like Yoongi had one night ago. And you lay it all out there. You’re done hiding and suppressing your feelings for him. Because no matter what happens between the two of you, even if the night doesn’t go the way you hope, you’re not going to lose him. That’s what was promised in his car.
So, one last time, you AirDrop him a photo of yourself in lingerie. He accepts it immediately.
Then you text him.
Y/N🐣 [8:18PM] “you asked for a pic of my wardrobe earlier didnt you?”
Y/N🐣 [8:18PM] “btw knock on my door rn or youre a coward😡”
You’re really doing it. There’s no going back now.
You throw a hoodie over your shoulders and leave it unzipped as you pace back and forth in the hall. You always wondered why you get so antsy when it’s just Min Yoongi. It’s literally just the guy you’ve lived next to your entire life. But that’s the hold he has on you. The mere thought of being with him never fails to excite you. Those are the kind of butterflies you get with him.
Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest when you hear his knock. You swing the door open before you can chicken out.
Of course his eyes immediately fall on your chest. He almost forgets to speak.
“What pic were you talking about? Did you send something?” he asks, still very much concentrated on your nipples.
Wait.
“You didn’t get the AirDrop?” Not this again. The granny across the street probably did get it this time. You want to wrap yourself up in your fluffy warm blanket and permanently disable that stupid phone feature once and for all. No, it’s not a stupid feature. You’re just stupid for using it.
“You’re so fun to fuck with, Y/N,” he laughs right in your face. “Yes, I got your cute little photo.”
“Stop teasing me,” you pout. Here you are, trying to look all hot for him, and he’s still finding ways to fuck with you. He’s so mean.
“I could ask the same of you.” Yoongi slips his index finger into your bralette between your breasts. He tugs on the stretchy band until it snaps back against your skin. “Or maybe you don’t realize what you do to me when I see you like this.”
“I don’t,” you play innocent as you pull him inside and shut the door behind him. You’d love to be enlightened about what your body does to him just by existing. A demonstration would be much appreciated. The more detail, the better.
He pushes you back against the wall in the narrow hallway and pins you there. You try to distract yourself by staring at the tiny speck of coffee on his white sweater but a strong hand cups your chin and lifts it so you can’t run from his gaze. His eyes are dark.“It's so fucked up how many times I’ve gotten off at the thought of my little sister’s friend in nothing but lingerie.”
Funny, you’ve always thought it was fucked up of you to lust over him given how close you’d been throughout your childhood. You cringe at the thought of Mo learning about all the unholy fantasies you’ve had of her brother—him fucking you against the wet walls of his shower, him shoving his cock down your throat until you cry, and even him tying you up on the bed and doing whatever he wants with your body. Your delusional self has thought about it all with him.
But now you know he’s felt the same way all along.
You slide your hands up his chest to his neck as your eyes hone in on his glossy lips. For as long as you could remember, you’ve always wondered what Min Yoongi tastes like. In your dreams, he tasted of creamy vanilla milkshakes. But now, in this moment…?
You lean in and press your breasts into his chest, but he pulls back just before you can get a taste of those lips.
“I always knew you had a thing for me,” he smirks. The teasing never stops. But that’s what you’ve signed your life away for. “If you want to kiss me so bad, say it.”
The stubborn you who “plays hard to get” would never admit that. The you right now, on the other hand, is yearning, desperate, and painfully horny. In this state, you’d get down on your hands and knees so quick.
“I want to kiss you, you ass—” Your mumble is cut off by his lips. They taste like the iced coffee from earlier with a hint of salt. You want more of it.
Your tongue gets tangled with his. It’s sloppy, but you’ve had enough of keeping it clean with him. You’ve played it safe for far too long.
His hands grab your breasts as he lets out a low moan inside your throat. Funny how perfectly your chest fits in his large hands. When he gives them a squeeze, you lean into him more. Anything to get more of his touch.
But then he slides a hand down your belly and works a few fingers around the fabric between your legs. They glide between your folds so smoothly.
“Did you get this wet just from a little kiss and touch? Poor thing.” He holds up the proof of your lust before licking it off his fingers with that tongue. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight.”
The next thing you know, your hoodie is gone and he’s carrying you off to your room. As soon as your back hits the mattress, he climbs on top of you, bombarding you with more kisses until you’re out of breath.
Your hands fidget with the hem of his sweater until he gets the memo that you want it off. Seeing him shirtless is nothing new—you’ve seen him casually walk out of the shower in nothing more towel on multiple occasions while hanging out with Mo next door, hence all your the shower fantasies. But in this context, with him on top of you on your bed, the butterflies just keep coming.
As the two of you continue to makeout, you unzip him. It’s your turn to slip your hand into his pants. He’s huge, just like your fantasies. You’re not sure your inexperienced throat can handle it.
“You haven’t even seen it yet, and you’re drooling,” he purrs when he leans back to get a good look at your current status—starved for his cock. “Does my cute little neighbor love having her mouth filled with cock?”
“I haven’t…” Your words trail off when you see his erection in full. Your hands latch back on to it like gravity. There’s no way this’ll fit down your throat without making you gag. You lick your lips.
“Wait, this isn’t the first time you’re—”
“I’ve had sex,” you clarify. “Just haven’t given a blowjob…” 
It still feels weird to admit these kinds of things to your neighbor. You’ve always been more careful and closed off about your sex life than him. Meanwhile, you swear you’ve heard the whimpers and moans of all the girls he’s pleasured on the other side of your wall. You’ve never heard the sounds he makes during sex, though.
“How innocent. Depriving yourself of tasting it for this long.” Now he’s got a big ol’ smile on his face as you lie on your stomach and kiss along his length. “You won’t be so innocent by the time I’m done with you.”
You don’t want to be innocent with him anymore.
When you finally take him into your mouth, it’s easy. You swirl your tongue around as you bob your head up and down him. The taste isn’t nearly as bad as you’d thought. In fact, you kind of like it. Or maybe you’re just too horny to care. 
But then you decide you want to gag. So you push your mouth further down his length. The slightest tickle against the back of your throat practically has your whole body jerk in protest. You pull back and let yourself breathe before wrapping your lips back around him.
“Hey, easy,” he chuckles, holding your hair back. “Deepthroating is too advanced for you. You’re still a baby.”
You’ll let the baby comment slide only because you’re too focused on sucking his cock. You wouldn’t mind doing this all night. It could easily become your new addiction.
“Mm,” you moan as flick your eyes up at him. His mouth is open, panting, still trying to fight off the feral instincts you so easily gave in to. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Not bad for a first-time blowjob.
“So good,” he praises as he watches your mouth working so hard along his length. You’ve finally earned some praise from him. After all these fucking years. “Fuck, you’re so good.”
The next time you come up for air, he wipes his thumb along your lip to clean you up before flipping you over onto your back. You’d love to suck the glaze off his thumb, but the selfish bastard does it for you right in front of your face.
“I know you’ve grown quite attached to sucking my cock, but I’d like to know how your other hole feels, if that’s alright with you.”
You nod, knowing just how soaked your g-string got while sucking him off. After wiggling out of it and tossing it aside, you spread your legs out for him like a well-trained slut.
He uses his fingers again to make sure you’re coated enough. You feel two curl inside you. Then a third. His thumb brushes gently over your clit exactly one time.
“Fuck,” you whimper from the jolt of pleasure. He needs to do it again.
But he doesn’t.
So you run your own two fingers around your clit as his slip in and out of you. He watches the rhythm of your fingers going around and around like a hypnotic spiral. That smirk is creeping back up again.
“So that’s how my neighbor touches herrself,” he nods like the enthusiastic spectator he is. “That’s how you touch yourself for me.”
You continue to tease your little bud as he grabs a condom from the ass pocket of his jeans and slides it down his length. Finally. Fucking finally.
Your horny little body pounces on top of him, your thighs straddling him beneath you. His cock presses against your ass as you strip off your bralette and lean over to kiss him some more. You’d leave him a nice hickey, but you hate the thought of Mo bringing it up as “a byproduct of another one of his meaningless flings.”
Instead of thinking about that, you grab his cock from behind and ease yourself onto him. You’re sure his ego just got a boost from the amount of time it took you to adjust to his size.
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna be That Guy who comments on your tight little pussy.” Asshole.
Then you start sliding yourself up and down his cock. You gasp immediately. It feels so fucking good to finally have him inside you.
The boy doesn’t waste any time, either. His hands work their way up your waist back to your breasts. He gives your nipples a few pinches and is delighted to learn just how sensitive you are over there. You toss your head back with each little pinch.
As the pleasure builds, you feel him thrusting back beneath you. Your ass is practically bouncing off his thighs with each thrust. If you don’t hold onto his shoulders, you might fall off of him, which would be quite the tragedy because you happen to like the feeling of his cock pounding inside of you. 
“More…” you huff against his neck. “Harder…”
At your request, he gets back on top and takes the lead, ramming himself in and out of you. You knew Yoongi was a strong guy, but you’ve never been fucked this hard before. Perhaps this is what years of all that sexual tension have amounted to.
You let out another loud moan, this time crying out his name. You should be afraid of Mo coming back from Namjoon’s and hearing the way you cry her brother’s name with such lust. You shouldn’t show what a dirty little slut you’ve become for him. But you’re mind isn’t functioning anymore. Not with him fucking you silly like that.
“I’m gonna—” you yelp.
He speeds up and pounds harder into you until you’re overcome by your orgasm. The wave of pleasure washes over you as you feel your walls tightening around him.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he groans, feeling just how tight you can go. He should be grateful for your tight little pussy. Especially if his high was as good as yours.
As you catch your breath, your thoughts start to come back to you. You’re certainly not looking forward to the conversation you’re gonna have to have with Mo later. But you know it was worth it. And you know you don’t regret anything that happened tonight. It was long overdue, anyway.
Yoongi, on the otherhand, might still have his head in the clouds because he’s just lying down on your pillow with the goofiest smile. He’s been smiling a lot more lately.
“Do you remember that time you invited me to your little tea party in here?” he asks out of nowhere.
“No,” you lie. 
Of course you remember it. You were probably five or six and you’d just watched some teen show where the main girl asked her love interest out on a lunch date. Your naive self was inspired to do the same, but with your love interest—your Yoongi. And initially he said no because he’s mean like that. That was your first heartbreak.
But then he turned around later and crashed the tea party you’d set up for your sobbing self and your teddy bear. He claimed he’d only stick around for the shortbread cookies, but you’re starting to think there was more to it.
“Well I do,” he admits. “That was the first time I thought you were kinda cute.”
“Kinda?”
“Yeah, kinda cute. Because you were also an annoying little brat, you know that?” This is just slander.
“Well I appreciate you putting up with this kinda cute annoying brat for all these years,” you mutter. “No one was forcing you to.”
“I know, that’s my point.” He pinches your cheek. “Even if I tried to run, you always somehow found a way to cling onto me. Like a leech.”
“Okay, buddy, I’ve had enough of this slander,” you hiss in his arms under the blankets. “If you’re going to say something nice, just say it already. No more of your dumb leech metaphors.”
“You’ve always had a hold on me, Y/N.” He presses a soft kiss to your forehead—the first of many, you hope. “And I feel like a lot happened in the past day, but that’s only one small part of what this is.”
“This” as in you and him.
“Like one page in a history book,” you chime in. “Or like a chapter in a memoir, or the chorus of a song, or—”
He chuckles at your rambling because it’s apparently “so fucking cute” to him. What else would you expect? If one page in the history book is dedicated to the past 24 hours, 10,000 pages are filled with him teasing you, you chasing him, and everything in between. 
Today simply marks the start of a new era.
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weird-is-life · 8 months
Note
I dont know if you’re still taking requests so feel free to ignore this lol :)
Spencer x reader angstttt all the way! Reader doesn’t work at the Bau and works as a model, however JJ confesses to Spencer right in front of reader bc she doesn’t know reader is his gf‼️ the rest is up to you sorry if it’s confusing
Hii, lovely ty for this request. I hope u don't mind I changed it a bit. Warnings: angsty, happy ending, pet names, use of y/n (1.5k)
You don't mean to overhear Spencer's conversation with JJ. It just happens. You've been seeing Spence for a lot more then a few weeks now and he still hasn't introduced you to his friends from work.
So with him forgetting his bag at your apartment, you decided that you could bring it to him to work. And maybe get introduced to his close friends, as well.
But seeing and hearing what you are right now. You are beggining to understand why he didn't rush to have you introduced.
Spencer is standing with his back to you talking to a pretty blonde ( which you know is definitely JJ). You are close enough to them to hear what they are talking about. You almost interrupt their talk, but then you hear JJ's words. She is full of kind words, pet names and sweet smiles. And to your horrible surprise, you realise, she is confessing her feelings to Spencer. But before, you can hear her say the 'L' word, you storm out of there, almost knocking over one agent on your way out.
JJ sees your accidental stumble and makes a weird face, which catches Spencer's attention.
"What is it?" he questions.
"Oh nothing, just some girl almost running Rossi over. Was my speech good? Do you think, that Will will like it?" JJ asks, but before Spencer can reply, Penelope comes running in.
"Guys guys guys, did you see what I just saw now?" she asks, excitement visible on here.
"What do you mean, Pen?"
"The super gorgeous girl, that almost just ran over Rossi, obviously, " she says in a 'duh' tone, "Since when has the Bau started hiring super models? I need to find out her name, I'd kill for the shoes she had-"
"Did-did you just say super model?" Spencer interrupts her, his eyes wide.
"Yes?" she asks uncertainly.
"Did she-" he describes your appearance, praying that it wasn't you and that you just didn't hear JJ's love confession.
"You know her? You must give me her-" Spencer is out of there, not even letting Penelope finish.
He runs out of the building like a mad man, hoping to catch you, he can't even to begin think about what you must be thinking now.
"Fuck!" he curses outside of the building, he knows you are long gone. He quickly returns to the office, eager to call you and to explain everything to you. He notices the bag, that he forgot at your place in the morning, sitting on his desk. It makes him feel even worse.
As he calls you, everybody - JJ, Rossi and Penelope - is looking at him worriedly. You, of course, don't pick up any of his calls, so Spencer tosses the phone on his desk and slumps down in his chair.
"Spencer, what's wrong?"
"I....-I fucked up," he sighs.
"What do you mean?" JJ asks.
"I mean y/n....she definitely heard your love speech," Spencer puts his head in his hands. His visible distress making JJ, Pen and Rossi even more confused and worried.
"Who's y/n?" Penelope is the first one to ask, "is that the model looking girl, that almost knocked Rossi on the ground?"
"She actually is a model," Spencer murmurs into his palms, he says it so quietly, but they all hear it.
"What?!" Pen almost yells, "how do you know that? You actually know her?"
Spencer lifts his head up, preparing mentally for what he is about to reveal. "I know it, because she-.....she's my girlfriend."
It's a complete silence after he says that. Everybody is staring at him like he has said the most unhinged thing ever.
"What are you still doing here then, kid? You gotta go to her," Rossi's the first one to speak up.
"B-but I can't just leave, what about Hotch-"
"We will take care of that, just go," Spencer doesn't need to be told twice, he is up on his feet, shrugging a coat on in a matter of seconds. He leaves the office with anxious thoughts and some encouraging words from his friends.
He sets off to your apartment, he knows you will be there, because you don't have any work right now. He gets to your apartment in record time and without hesitation, he lets himself in with a key you've given him.
He finds you in your bedroom, eyes red, face puffy and wet from crying, on a phone call with your best friend. It feels like a punch in the guts seeing you like that and it is even worse, when he knows it's because of him.
"Y/N?" he calls out your name uncertainly. You look up at him, eyes wide.
"Spencer, w-what are you doing here?" you ask, stiff as a board.
"I know you came to the office and i-"
"Please, just leave Spencer, i-i don't want to see you right now," you interrupt him, your voice hoarse from all the crying.
"Please, sweetheart. Let me explain-" Spencer begs, he knows if he leaves you right now there's no going back.
"Just go home, Spencer." You whisper, your voice breaking. You don't have the strength or a heart to shout at him to leave.
"No, I can't leave without an explanation," he stubbornly says," just give me 5 minutes, that's all I need, please."
You are very angry and upset with him, and you really really don't want him near you at the moment. You just want to curl up on your bed and cry, but you know Spencer, he has the kindest heart in the world. You know, that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, especially not with cheating and you are most certain about it by just looking at his anxious face.
So you decide to hear him out, "o-okay, five minutes, that's all you get." You, despite your best friend's protests, hang up and listen to Spencer carefully. Tears still running down your cheeks and oh how does Spencer wish that he could wipe them away.
He explains how JJ's asked him for his opinion on her love speech for her and Will's wedding anniversary. She was worried it wasn't good enough, because she wanted Will to know how much she loves him even if they aren't together as often as they should be. So of course, Spencer agreed.
"-That's all it was. Nothing more, I swear. Even if JJ had those kind of feeling for me, i wouldn't care. Because there is only one person for me and that's you, nobody else," Spencer blurts it all out quickly, praying that you believe him. He doesn't think he can take it if you don't and decide you don't want to see him ever again.
Suddenly, you put your hands over your face, sniffling quietly, "I'm sorry."
Spencer is quick to cut the distance between the two of you. He sits next to you on the bed, his hands hovering uncertainly over you. He isn't sure, if you want his touch now.
"Sorry? For what, sweetheart?"
"For thinking that... -that you were cheating," you sadly mumble into your hands and Spencer feels like crying himself, too.
He softly pulls at your hands, until you reveal your tearstained face. He gently wipes away the wetness from your cheeks with the ends of his sleeves.
"No, I should be the sorry one. And I am. I shouldn't have let JJ tell me that o-or I should have at least mentioned to you, that she has a husband. I'm sorry, baby, I am such an idiot," he apologises, face twisted into a big sad frown.
"Yeah," you chuckle with a sniffle, he definitely is an idiot, even though he is painfully smart, "can-can I have a hug?" You question unhappily .
"Of course, sweetheart."
Spencer hugs you like his life depends on it and you don't mind one bit. It's a huge relief for both of you to be able to hold each other. Thankful, that it was just a big misunderstanding.
You hug for a long time, until your leg under you goes numb and Spencer needs to use the toilet. He looks at you, before going to pee and suddenly you feel bashful, "I know, I look awful."
Your face and eyes are red and puffy, hair a total mess, but in Spencer's eyes you are the most beautiful person in the whole world (because you are).
"Nope, you are beatiful as ever," he compliments you. He is looking overwhelmingly loving at you, that you think you might burst at the spot from.
"I love you, only you," he whispers as he leans in to give you a forehead kiss.
"I love you, too, Spence," you say and he only mouths 'I love you more' back at you as he runs to the bathroom.
Later that day, when you are all curled up at Spencer's side, he tells you all about his team, barely sparing any detail and promises to introduce you to them as soon as possible.
And it does happen. A week passes by and you find yourself being introduced to all his friends at one of the famous dinners at Rossi's.
They immediately love you. The girls pull you away from Spencer as soon as you step a foot inside the house to ask everything about you, as they fuss about how pretty you are.
Spencer watches you make friends with his Bau family with the biggest smile ever and you find yourself smiling through the whole evening, too.
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fluffymaxsworld · 5 months
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“you were a wonderful experience”
“you were everything”
a/n: just a quick fic to tell y’all i’m aliveee and great and everything. just lazy and i don’t want to write lol. anyways enjoyyy
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theodore nott x gryffindor!reader
[i don’t remember if reader was female or gn, angst, no happy ending, i love theodore nott, didn’t proofread bc i’m LAZYY :((]
being with theodore nott was one of the experiences you won’t forget, even if you ended up marrying someone else. he was caring, weirdly sweet to be around, kind and utterly in love with you.
being with theo was something you won’t forget
the war is over, the order won, voldemort is dead. and so is the fear, the suffering. finally being happy was the only option, whoever you are. except for theo. how could you, half-blood gryffindor, top of the potion’s class, sweet laugh and stunning smile, how could you come into his life and messing it up so easily? how did you made him so helplessly in love with you?
it’s been two years, yet he still dream about you every night. how are you? did you sleep? eat? did you go out? he hated when you didn’t.
“baby i’m just really tired” you complaint one day.
“i swear to godric if you don’t get up and go with me shopping to let me spoil the ass out of you-”
how pretty were you that day, your eyes sparkled each time you entered different shops. you looked out for a matching jumper, you wanted it red over all, red like gryffindors! he just scoffed though, not capable of complaining. how could he? such a sweet girl he found for himself. until… the war.
being a death eater’s son and a order’s component’s boyfriend was too much, but not being able to satisfy his father was a bigger problem for theo. he tried to reach for you, he tried to call, sending letter, weird letters with a half blind owl, calling ron weasley himself to arrive at your sweet, kind voice. yet the efforts were useless, you didn’t even bother to answer. the hatred that was burning into you, the feeling of betrayal, slowly fade away. day by day you started to not feel anything towards the guy you loved so much.
years of soft talks and sweet giggles completely faded away in a couple of months.
oh hell, it hurt.
but then… the war ended, the death eaters were imprisoned and their son semi-free to go.
it took him five whole days to finally knock at weasley’s messy mansion and ask a tired and surprised ron for you.
“hey theo” you greeted him. you had the face full of cuts but nothing compared to the scar on his lips, tracing the left side of his jaw.
“y/n…” he stared at you, eyes fluttering and his heart pounding, full of joy. he wanted to get on his knees and beg your forgiveness, but deep down he knew that was useless. you moved on, you didn’t cared anymore. he was just another ex.
“take a sit” you smiled, a hint, just the smallest one, of awkwardness in that expression as he sat besides you.
“i missed you” he quickly said without thinking but not taking it back, not until he hear you say that you moved on.
“okay… i did too. for awhile, actually.” you answered in the sweetest tone ever. was a bad habit of yours, talking like that for bad news.
“and then?”
“and then not anymore, theo. you were a wonderful experience.”
“you were… everything”
words flourished out of his mouth, he would’ve cried but the tears weren’t coming down. maybe he already cried too much.
“deep down teddy, i’ll always love you and i’ll never forget you” was the last sentence you exchanged.
he walked away a few minutes later, spending that time in silence and staring one last time into your pupils. the same ones that he loved to see expand during potions because he knew your love for the subject was as big as the love you felt for him.
he then politely waved off hermione and harry and excused himself for the death of ron’s brother, getting redeemed with forgiveness. he smiled one last time and mouthed an ‘i love you’, a sign you never mouthed back to.
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ellieslaces · 2 months
Text
NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.
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featuring: leon kennedy x fem!agent!reader x ashley graham
synopsis: ashley graham's biggest weakness is attractive people, especially kind, attractive people. she was not expecting to be saved by two of the hottest, kindest people she'd ever met, much less to end up crushing on the both of them
content warnings: harsh language; mentions of violence; tension; lots of flirtatious banter; ashley shooting her shot for an entire fic basically; mentions of reader being bisexual; light smut; kissing (f!f & f!m); one bed trope; forced proximity; no real smut bc idk how to write a threesome :(
notes: takes place on the way back from Spain (technically post RE4R); one bed-ish trope (r&leon share a bed, and a room with ashley); ashley is sort of confused about her sexuality; semi-established relationship (r&leon); really more of a sibling dynamic between ashley and leon (it sounds weird, but its balanced in the actual fic, i promise)
word count: 6.13k (i’m so sorry)
chloe talks: was this entirely inspired by @postersofleon ? yeah, i read this post a week or so ago and i'm losin' sleep over it. so full credits to @postersofleon for the plot! luv their lil' drabble :) also, sorry this isn't more of a threesome fic. if it were a triple female threesome, i could work with that, but add a dick into it, i'm clueless. anyways, enjoy ashley fumbling for this whole fic (luv her, i just can't help embarrassing her shes so cute). also, please appreciate this, i wrote around 80% of this while i was supposed to be studying for an exam. that’s on adhd and procrastination :)
now playing: Nohings Gonna Hurt You Baby; Cigarettes After Sex
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It is entirely possible that blondes were, indeed, your weakness. Sure, over the years, you'd come to realize there was something especially alluring about lighter hair - possibly the way it reminded you of the sun, or how each strand looked like spun gold. Although, what seemed to seal your fate was the ever dangerous pairing of blonde hair and blue eyes. Oh, how alluring and damning was the color of icy blue coupled with silvery, silken strands.
For a time, you believed your weakness was encompassed only within your field partner, Leon S. Kennedy. God, how handsome was that agent. Not only handsome, but brave, and kind - awkwardly so, but it really is the principle of the thing. It was painstakingly obvious to everyone, other than Leon it seemed, that you were completely and forlornly in love with him. It seemed you were equally as blind to the evidence that Leon Kennedy was also miserably in love with you.
But the one person who noticed it upon first glance was Ashley Graham. Not only for the clear obviousness of the situation, but because the feeling was entirely, and unfortunately mutual. And it was this girl who also awoke the realization within you that Leon was not the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed person you found enticing.
Though, you were not the only one in this clandestine triad who had an impending weakness for certain types of people. No, you were not, Ashley had an Achilles heel for graciously kind people. Not just kind, but attractive. Not in a shallow or superficial way, but to say more that a person would catch her eye. She had no pre-existing physical type - no particular hair color, eye color, or even height preference. Just that they be kind. And much to the First Daughter's dismay, you were both horribly kind. In your own respective ways, of course.
Leon — as aforementioned — was awkwardly kind, despite how well he meant. He never knew exactly how to word his concern, or how to come about comforting someone. It was usually said in simple phrases such as “you okay?” or in way of one of many snarky comments he had stored in the deep recesses of his mind. Ashley thought he was funny; sometimes.
You, on the other hand, were painfully sweet to her. Always reassuring her that she was okay, and you were going to keep her safe. Field medic, that’s how Leon explained your role in her rescue. You were there to keep her and Leon healthy and in one piece, which you were startlingly good at. Any bruise or cut she procured was immediately treated by your sweet disposition and skilled hands. She liked how gentle you were with her.
So yes, Leon was kind in an awkward manner, and you were kind in a practical sense. And that devastating combination was her inevitable downfall.
From the moment you and Leon found her in that church, she knew she was fucked. Because, how could people look that good while doing the sort of jobs you had? There was no way, no way she would ever be able to form coherent sentences around you two. But, somehow, by some miracle, she got on with you both quite well. Despite the obvious moments of third-wheel-ism because you and Leon were so close.
There where multiple reoccurring occasions where Ashley suspected the pair of you may be together. Or at least fucking on the side. Because no two people who are just partners have that dynamic. The constant tension, the way Leon could be protective or even overbearing sometimes. The way you would rush to his side to patch up his wounds — no matter how small and minuscule they were — after a fight. Sometimes, despite how endearing it could be, Ashley was annoyed. Sure, you two had known each other for an extended period of time and had just met Ashley that day. But, it became so aggravating when you would consult each other without the inclusion of Ashley.
Many times you would apologize to her, expressing how sorry you were for leaving her out of conversations or hypothetical battle plans. It wasn’t that either of you thought she was stupid or couldn’t handle it. No, it was more along the lines that you were used to it just being the two of you. There was rarely ever a third party involved — other than Hunnigan chatting away in your ear pieces of course — in these types of situations.
Ashely was smitten, to put it lightly. She’d made several attempts to quote-unquote ‘shoot her shot’ with Leon. Little comments of how brave he was, how thankful she was for his saving her. Even calling him her ‘hero’ on one occasion or another. His name had posted permanent residence in her vocabulary it seemed.
However, her means of flattery with you was completely different. She was a little more bold with you, seeing as you were more of an open person than Leon was. She partook in the cliche, yet never failing flirtatious mannerisms — simple touches, giggling at your jokes, or simply sticking to your side in dangerous situations. It wasn’t that you didn’t notice, no, you just turned a conscious blind eye to it all. Ashley was a college girl, a sorority girl, a privileged girl. She was probably used to using flattery to get what she wanted, to gain the attention she so desperately thrived on.
Though as your time in the hostile Spanish village went on, you came to realize that it wasn’t superficial, Ashley’s flattery toward you and your field partner. Absolutely not, far from it. You realized after Leon had carried her to Luis’ laboratory and you managed to get the machine working to expel the parasite from her body, that Ashley was totally and completely smitten with the pair of you. She was attached in the worst way. And that would be your inevitable downfall.
Leon was consciously blind to it. Your partner — no matter his selfless tendencies and his awkwardly kind nature — was melancholic. He had a firm belief he was predestined to be miserable. That there was always another shoe waiting to drop. He didn’t deserve happiness, peace, love, a good life. So, he ignored it. He ignored how Ashley was equally as taken with him as she was with you. He didn’t bring it up, he didn’t even act like he noticed. Oh, but you did.
You saw the attachment so clearly by the time the three of you had managed to escape the crumbling island via Ada Wong’s gifted jet ski that Ashely was so attached to the pair of you. She’d offered positions on her own personal detail to you, claiming she could put a word in with her father. Denials were made, kind smiles and the shaking of heads. Too kind of an offer and you liked your jobs, is what you’d told her. That wasn’t at all what you were thinking though.
Post a Hunnigan meltdown over your earpieces, the three of you were told to stay the night in a shabby, rundown little local hotel in a larger town a couple dozen miles south of the village. Still in Spain, still tired, still craving a warm shower. One room, two beds. Great, one of you was stuck sleeping with someone. Ashely offered for one of you to have a bed to yourself, she’d sleep with the other. Not a great idea. You and Leon — having spent many awkward and difficult missions together, so this was not strange to either one of you — decided on giving Ashley a bed to herself and taking the other together
If you’d been alone, oh how your lovestruck little heart would have burst. Sharing a bed with Leon Kennedy, the object of your affection. The sole performer in your wildest — and wettest — dreams. But you weren’t alone. Ashley was in the room, a matter of feet away, in her own double sized bed.
If she hadn’t been — to be vulgar and completely honest — nothing would have stopped you from fucking him then and there. The tension between the pair of you had been growing thicker since your arrival in Spain. It was thick, painfully so, and also horrifically obvious not only to you, but yet again, to Ashley. For the longer stretch of the mission, she’d expected a grand confession at any moment. A breakdown caused by a dangerous situation that ensued a moment of emotional and even physical vulnerability. But, to her dismay and yours, that never happened. Because, above all things, Leon was professional for a lack of a better word. He wasn’t going to allow his emotions to jeopardize the mission.
And so no breakdown of emotional distress and vulnerability played out. No confession of hearts bleeding for the other were cried out. Part of you was glad it hadn’t happened that way. But the larger part of your soul which was dedicated to Leon had wished it had. You longed for the day he realized he needed you too. But, to maintain professionalism and dignity, neither of you made such admissions.
Warm showers were taken in rotation in the tiny excuse for a bathroom. The shower was small and permanently stained with grime, but really was clean as the owner swore. The shower head was one of the older ones from the seventies that made the water come out in a dribble, then a forceful rainfall that hurt your back. The toiletries provided by the hotel were small and cheap, but you were clean. That’s all that mattered.
Sans dried blood and grime, you sat on Ashley’s bed, cross legged as you patched up each one of her injuries. Ashley had been the first to shower, after a fifteen minute debate with the two of you over who should go first. She had a few bandages and exposed scrapes that needed to be re-cleaned. So, with gentle hands you did so as Leon took use of his turn to shower.
“Looks good, no signs of infection so far. But, like I said before, I can’t tell too much without the right equipment.” You reassured Ashely as you finished patching up a cut on her arm and began to put your first aid kit back together.
“Thanks,” Ashley nodded, inspecting her scrape riddled skin. Small bruises and surface cuts were beginning to make their appearance, telltale signs of the brutality the three of you had endured in that village.
“Let me know if you feel feverish or see any swelling. That could mean infection.” You offered, being kind but stern.
“‘Kay,” the girl nodded, smiling up at you as you let out a sigh, leaning back on your hands on the bed.
You looked at her, smiling softly as your head tilted to the side a little. “Need me to kiss it better?”
At this, Ashley’s eyes went wide, her cheeks dusted with pink. You felt a little bad then, you just tried to ease the tension. “S’okay, Ashley. I was just playing.” You laughed, your tone lighthearted as you placed a gentle hand on her knee with an equally gentle smile.
It seemed the touch was worst than the comment. Ashley’s entire face went aflame, her eyes wide, and large as she stared at you. An uneasy ache settled in your chest, uncertainty lingering in the air as your smile faded. The initial shock between the pair of you didn’t last long as the door to the bathroom swung open.
“Jesus, you could’ve left me some hot water.” Leon grumbled as he stepped out into the room, lips downturned and brows etched in an annoyed frown.
The three of you were now paused as Leon’s eyes fell on you and Ashely — or more-so on the hand that rested on Ashley’s knee. Reality seemed to snap into place all at once for you, yanking your hand back and standing up.
“Let me check you out.” You mumbled, clearing your throat as you picked up the first aid kit and took residence on your own bed.
“No, I’m fine. Check on Ashley,” Leon shook his head, damp blond strands sticking to his forehead.
“Already did. Just finished. Your turn, whether you like it or not.” You stated, your tone final as you looked up at Leon, brows raised.
The agent let out a huff of agitation, grumbling something indiscernible as he sat down on the bed beside you. You began to gently inspect Leon's wounds- some small, others more intense. Despite his prior hesitation to be taken care of, he was stoic about it all. He sat still, unmoving, silent as you worked to disinfect and cover each wound with fresh bandages. The silence in the room was loud, startlingly uncomfortable as you patched Leon up.
A quick glance over at Ashley as you finished bandaging a deep cut that you'd quickly stitched up on the field showed her wide eyes. Wide baby blue focused on the way your fingers gently worked, how graceful and careful they were again the alabaster tone of Leon's skin.
"Doing okay over there, blondie?” Leon inquired, a small smirk playing on his face as he spotted Ashley's startling gaze on the wounds decorating his skin. He had mistook her fascination of your hands as nervousness of his wounds. But you knew. You could tell what her gaze meant.
"Oh, yeah. M'fine." Ashley recovered very quickly, to your surprise. Well, maybe it wasn't just your hands that had her enraptured, Leon was sitting on the bed, shirtless.
"Alright, hero-boy, all better." You smiled at Leon as you patted his bicep - earning a small, almost inaudible grumble from him - and moving to close your medical kit. You stood, tucking away in your pack and let out a sigh. "’Kay, l for one, am fucking exhausted."
“Yeah, me too,” Ashely murmured, an aura of discomfort still radiating from her. She offered a kind, if not awkward smile to the pair of you before settling into the bed, pulling the overs over her shoulders. “G’night.”
“‘Night,” you smiled, shuffling over to the bed you and Leon were sharing. You sat down on the edge, eyes trained on the back of Ashley’s head — the blonde hair, how it shimmered against the dim light of the single lamp in the room. You felt almost as if you weren’t really there.
“Need me to check you?” Leon asked, snapping you back to reality. You jolted a bit, looking at him from over your shoulder.
“Oh, nah, I’m okay.” You shook your head, clearing your throat as you settled into the bed, flicking off the lamp.
“Okay,” Leon shrugged, getting into the bed too, still in just a pair of pants. Everyone was in the barest of clothing. You in a tank top and underwear — Ashely in the same. It was all you had. All your clothes were soiled with dirt, and grime, and blood.
Thinking of nothing in particular, you laid there, staring up at the ceiling of the dark room. The walls creaked every once in a while, odd drafts filtered in from cracks in the ceiling or from the window. It was too quiet. And it stayed that way for a long while.
“Everything okay with Ashley?” Leon asked, his voice quiet, as not to wake the subject of conversation.
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You mumbled back, turning your head. He, too, was on his back. Both of you too afraid to face each other in bed, seeming too personal. “Why?”
“Just making sure.” His response was quiet, a little too nonchalant, as if he’d forced it to be casual. “It was awkward earlier.”
“Earlier?” You decided to play dumb, despite knowing that Leon wouldn’t believe it. He was well aware you knew what he was talking about. The touch. How Ashley had frozen when you’d touched her leg.
“Whatever, play stupid.” He scoffed with a half smile — a knowing smile. The bastard. “Just saying, she seems attached to you.”
“Oh, and she’s not with you, her hero?” You bit back with a hint of humor. Your voices were still low, hoping Ashely was asleep — or she couldn’t hear you if she wasn’t.
Leon laughed quietly, a rough scoff sound that echoed in your ears. You smiled at little at that sound. “Whatever you say,”
You frowned, gaining the confidence to shuffle onto your side, facing him as you contemplated what that simple, yet heavy ‘whatever’ meant. “What do you mean, whatever?”
Leon sighed, rolling onto his side to face you too. His eyes, still so blue even in the darkness of the motel room, bore into yours. It seemed he didn’t carry the same awkward feeling about this topic as you did. Or, maybe he did and he just hid it exceptionally well. But knowing him, that didn’t seem right.
“She’s just attached to you. Always at your side, or chatting your ear off. And what the hell was with that earlier?” He continued, brows furrowed in their eternal frown.
“I was patching her up. Making sure none of her cuts were infected.” You half shrugged, trying to play it off as something simple, even though it was so complex.
“She looked like she wanted to kiss you or something.”
“Oh, my God,” you rolled your eyes, trying to push away the way your chest tightened at the though. “You’re so fucking dramatic. She wasn’t gonna kiss me.”
“Okay,” Leon shrugged, his tone final and casually dismissive. Like he was finished talking about it. Like he didn’t believe you but didn’t want to say so.
“She was not going to kiss me.” You pushed, voice quiet yet firm. Your own brows were pulled into a frown, like what he’d said was offensive.
But it wasn’t. Kissing Ashley wasn’t a bad thought. It wasn’t as if you’d never kissed another girl before. The first time you had was in the training program for USSTRATCOM, your training partner who made you realize that all girls don’t look at other girls that way. She was the first, others followed.
Ashley was pretty, very pretty. Tall, pretty lips, and the blonde hair, blue eye thing, of course. Kissing her wouldn’t be so bad, really. It would probably be very nice. But nothing like kissing Leon, though.
“Okay.” Leon said again, shifting to lay on his back again, letting his eyes close. The finality of it all aggravated you. So, you asked him a question maybe you shouldn’t have.
“What if she did?” You asked, eyes narrowed and trained on him. A smile bloomed on your face at the way his eyes opened, his brows furrowing deeper at your question.
“What about it? It’s not my business.” Leon grumbled. But the tone he used made it wound like it was very much his business.
“M’kay.” You nodded, quietly celebrating to the way you’d seemed to have stumped him, surprised him.
For a moment, he didn’t respond. He stared at the ceiling, and you stared at him. It was deadly quiet, the rhythmic sound of Ashley’s breathing the sole sound in the room.
“Did you want her to?” Leon asked, mumbling quietly. His eyes stayed on the ceiling, as if he were afraid to look you in the eye when you answered. Afraid you had an answer he wouldn’t like.
“I dunno.” You admitted, honestly. You didn’t know, truly you didn’t. Kissing Ashely wouldn’t be so bad, but you hardly knew the girl. Not to mention her heavy attachment to you. It could get worse if she kissed you.
Leon nodded, not sure of how to answer your admission. He laid there, your eyes on him as you laid on your side. You wished so desperately for him to kiss you, or hold you, or do something. It was painful, the thought that he didn’t feel the same.
“Would that bother you?” You dared to ask, voice so low it was almost inaudible as you spoke.
Leon was still quiet for a long moment, maybe considering whether to answer seriously or with his usual dry humor. The latter won. “Not something I’d wanna walk in on.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Why? Because we’re girls?”
“Because she’d be kissing you.” He responding, saying it lightly, like the meaning of that simple sentence wasn’t the heaviest thing you’d ever heard.
Your mind did circles, your heart raced. Did he mean that because you were his partner? Or did he mean it out of jealousy. God, you hoped it was jealousy.
“What do you mean by that?” You questioned, voice apprehensive and unsure.
Leon shrugged, a soft, unintelligible grunt falling from his lips. He didn’t look over at you, his eyes still trained on the ceiling. The nagging feeling that was ever present in your chest worsened. The silence was deafening, painful. Then, finally, he spoke.
“It’d just be weird. It’s Ashely, it’d be weird.” He mumbled, like even he didn’t believe his own answer.
Leon’s words befuddled you, made you frown in contemplation. “Because it’s Ashley? What you mean by that?”
“I mean it’s Ashley. It’d be weird.” He repeated, not clarifying at all. This annoyed you.
Eyes narrowed, lips in a line, you scoffed. “Thanks for the explanation.”
“Anytime,” Leon clipped back playfully. But you were in no playful mood.
You huffed, Leon picking up on your attitude as you sat up in bed. “Seriously, what’d you mean by that?”
Leon let out a scoff of his own, rolling his eyes as he looked over at you. “I mean it’s just a weird thought. You and Ashley. We, we just met her, okay?”
“Oh,” you nodded, wishing you hadn’t jumped to your own conclusions internally. You’d thought he meant it was weird because she wasn’t him. Or maybe that he wanted to kiss you. Not such a simple and obvious answer.
“Yeah,” he nodded, letting out a small sigh to stifle a yawn. “Look, can we get some sleep now? Kinda have a long trip home tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” You mumbled, lying back down on your back, eyes on the cracked ceiling once again.
It was quiet again, the discomfort of silence present once more as Ashley slept in the bed next to yours, and Leon tired to sleep beside you. Your mind buzzed with a thousand variations of the same question: why did Leon actually care so damn much?
“Go to sleep. You think too loud.” Leon grumbled, shifting to lay on his side, back facing you.
“At least some of us think,” you quipped quietly, earning a scoff of a laugh from him before he went silent for the final time that night.
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Of course Leon woke up at dawn. The asscrack of fucking dawn. And it wasn’t like he was quiet either. Shuffling of his feet as he stumbled to the bathroom, the sink creaking on. You tried so hard to stay asleep, but your stupid internal alarm clock was ringing too. Oh to be in D.C. where it was still dark.
“C’mon, get up. We need to get moving.” Leon said, his voice somewhat gentle as he rested a hand on your shoulder once he’d emerged from the bathroom, fully changed.
“I’m up. You’re loud.” You mumbled, voice muffled as you pressed your face into the pillow.
“Jesus,” Leon whispered under his breath. “Even Ashely’s up.”
“Good for her,” you nestled deeper into the pillow, hearing a second set of footsteps head toward the bathroom. Less than five short seconds later, Leon yanked the covers from your body, sending a muffled yelp from your lips.
“Up, we need to move.” Leon said again, giving your leg a small shake as you grumbled on about a lack of sleep. His gentleness was gone now, replaced by urgency.
Technically, you were still on ‘enemy grounds’. You weren’t safe until you were back on U.S. soil, and even then there carried a risk with Ashley in tow.
So, with more sour encouragement from Leon, you got up and changed into your now dry clothes. Once Ashely used up her turn in the bathroom, you took yours. And not long after, the three of you were heading back toward the lobby of the shabby motel.
You managed to convince Leon to stick around for an extra thirty minutes for a shitty cooked breakfast in the sad excuse for a dining room where the motel offered complimentary breakfast.
Once full of frozen scrambled eggs, stale toast, and really bad coffee, the three of you were on the move once more. It was tricky, getting home like this. Hunnigan had promised that of you made it to a certain location a few miles north of the motel, there would be a chopper waiting to pick you up. Hunnigan hadn’t failed you yet, so you didn’t doubt her.
“How much further?” Ashley asked, her brows creased, forehead already glistening with sweat as the three of you walked through the winding streets of a small village as you had been for the past few hours.
“Not too much. Tired?” You asked, slowing your steps to walk alongside the girl.
She nodded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Sympathy panged in your chest — Ashley wasn’t built for this like you and Leon were. The two of you had trained for exhausting situations such as these, she had not. You frowned.
“Need some water?” You asked gently, holding out a canteen from your belt. Ashley nodded vigorously, taking the canteen and drinking deeply.
You motioned to Leon to stop for a moment, he frowned, but did nonetheless. You stood with Ashley as she drank, taking a break before going back to drinking the water.
“Thanks,” she smiled, handing the canteen back to you — now half empty. “Sorry, I drank a lot.”
“That’s okay. Can’t have you passing out on us now, can we?” You smiled, taking a sip yourself before latching it back on your belt.
Leon, noticing that Ashely was finished with her break, began walking again. You and Ashely followed, keeping a small bit of distance between you and Leon.
“Hey, I um, I overheard you and Leon talking last night. Not everything, but some of it.” Ashley confessed, her voice a bit hesitant.
“Oh, that so? What’d you hear exactly?” You asked casually, worry springing in your chest.
“Just, I’m sorry because I know you guys have a like, groove or whatever. And I mess it up and I make it weird.”
You frowned for a moment, thinking about her words. Then it hit you — she didn’t hear about the kissing discussion, just the last bit about her being new to the trio.
“Oh, Ashely. You don’t make anything weird. Leon and I… we weren’t talking about you making things weird.” You promised, lips curved downward as you and Ashley walked behind Leon.
“Then why’d Leon say that?” Ashely asked, the insecurity obvious in her voice.
You hesitated, unsure whether or not to say it to her face. That he’d thought you two were going to kiss. After a moment of consideration — and seeing Ashely’s sad, curious eyes — you decided to just say it. Consequences be damned.
“Because he thought you were going to try to kiss me. When he came out of the bathroom last night.” You explained gently, shrugging as if it weren’t a big deal. When it kind of was.
The girl was quiet for a long moment, her brows creased, lips turned downward. She swallowed, looking back at you from where she’d been staring at her feet. “And he meant it’d be weird if I did kiss you?”
“Yeah, that’s what he meant. Not because we’re girls,” you were quick to interject your previous statement. “But because it’s just… that you and I don’t really know each other that well.”
Ashley nodded, walking beside you as you followed Leon along the uneven stone paths. Every once in a while, he’d glance backward to make sure you weren’t lingering behind or somehow gotten lost.
“Okay,” one simple word carried such finality. It shook you — Ashley was uncomfortable.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I just wanted to be honest.” You tried to explain gently but firmly. You didn’t want her to think you were strange.
“You didn’t make me feel weird.” Ashely shook her head, eyes squinting in the mid-afternoon sun as she looked over at you.
You smiled a little, relieved you hadn’t put her off or made her uncomfortable. That really was the last thing you wanted. “Good,”
The three of you continued to walk along, and a little further up, you demanded a break. Leon huffed, claiming you didn’t have time for a break. But the sun was warm and you were quickly running out of water.
So, you stopped for a quick fifteen minutes before setting off again. Leon was walking much quicker than before — dead set on getting to the extraction point before sundown. Which was very much possible as you were a mere four miles away.
There was a chopper waiting, just as Hunnigan had promised. God, you’d mentally decided to name your first born after her, so thankful to finally leave Spain and sit your ass down.
You sat beside Leon in the back compartment of the chopper, all three of you sporting massive headsets to protect your ears. You chatted away with the pilot — a friend of Hunnigan’s named Danny who was funny, and reminded you of the late Mike who died in pursuit of getting you and Leon out of trouble in the village.
With the promise of a good meal and actual hot showers, Danny flew the three of you home. You were busy looking outside the chopper when Leon nudged your knee with his, earning a slightly venomous glare from you before he pointed to Ashley. Who was dead asleep across from you.
The ride back to D.C. was long, around six hours. Most of which were spent talking with Danny or falling asleep, slumped against Leon’s shoulder. Around twenty minutes before you were set to land — you and Leon had been previously discussing what you were doing first, eating, sleeping, or showering — you shook Ashley awake.
The poor thing was groggy and half asleep as you all filed off the chopper and bid goodbye to Danny — whom you’d made a promise to meet up with and have drinks in honor of Mike at his favorite bar he’d mentioned before he tragically died.
A government issued SUV waited for you, instructing the three of you to pile into the back so you could be taken straight to the President, then to testing. Which you put up a damn good fight. Who the fuck cared about testing? You were hungry and tired and dehydrated as hell. Leon shut you up quick though, despite not being happy about the arrangement himself.
Unfortunately, the car ride was around a half an hour. The driver — not as intimidating had he’d first appeared — flicked between radio stations ntil he landed on one he knew was Ahsley’s favorite. (Apparently he’d been the one to drive Ashely to college, so he knew what music she liked).
Much to Ashely’s dismay and deathly embarrassment, the fucking Backstreet Boys were playing. The driver turned it up, also having the knowledge that this particular track was one of Ashley’s favorites.
Unfortunately, you knew the lyrics too. You mumbled along with them, Leon biting back a smile at how ridiculous his own field partner could be.
“You like the Backstreet Boys?” Ashely asked, her cheeks a bit warm as you bopped your head to the beat and hummed along.
“Nah, but don’t be embarrassed.” You shook your head, smiling at the girl who was sitting between you and Leon.
“Music is music, blondie.” Leon agreed, nodding his head with your positive attitude. He looked back over Ashely’s head at you, trying hard not to smile at your antics. God, you could be so stupidly immature sometimes.
“Oh,” Ashley mumbled, slinking down further in her seat as the driver made the final turn and parked the SUV.
Leon exited first, then Ashley, and you to follow up the rear. You and Leon were armed, still charged with protecting Ashely, no matter the fact that you were indeed on U.S. soil again, and at the White House. The President didn’t greet you outside to your surprise, but you were ushered immediately to his office.
There he was reunited with his daughter, the emotional moment making you have to quietly clear your throat because it even choked you up to see Ashley so happy to see her father again.
You and Leon were thanked profusely, promised your compensation and the highest of honors and awards. To which you didn’t really want (except the money, fuck, you wanted the money), but you knew better than to even try to deny.
With that, you and Leon were quickly dismissed, told you were being led to government testing to be sure you really were clear of the parasites. You gave Ashley a quick goodbye smile and hug, Leon giving her a pat on the shoulder, telling her to behave herself.
She looked so unsure, so strange standing in the Oval Office, clothes grimy and blood stained, hair mussed as she watched you and Leon being escorted from the room.
The First Daughter felt a strange sort of emptiness in her chest then, watching you leave. Her brows furrowed as her father spoke incessantly to her about how worried he’d been and how much he missed her. You were agents, assigned to bring her home and leave. No more, no less. So why was she so devastated to see you go?
Of course, you felt a little sad to leave the girl behind. Despite spending only around forty-eight hours with Ashley, you found yourself realizing you’d miss her. Her smile and her comments and her laugh. The way she always asked if you were alright when you should have been doing so to her. How she tried her hardest to defend you and Leon, despite her chronic helplessness.
These things were not spoken to Leon though as you two walked out of the White House together, followed by guards back to the SUV you’d arrived in. But, even though you didn’t say it, you knew Leon felt it too. Somehow, in forty-eight short hours, Ashley had left a mark on you. The both of you. And you missed her already.
“Wait!” You stopped in your tracks, you and Leon almost simultaneously looking over your shoulder to see Ashley running out of the White House after you. She was panting, trying to catch up.
She ran to Leon first, wrapping her arms around his neck, taking the agent by such surprise it made him stumble backwards a bit. Leon wasn’t much of a hugger, you knew this personally. But, despite the action being hesitant and awkward, he hugged her back.
After a few moments — which you knew in your bones were long for Leon — he gave her a quick pat on the back. Ashely took the motion in stride and unlinked herself, smiling at him.
Then, she turned to you. Of course, you expected a hug as well, and you got one. She wrapped her arms around your neck too, you wrapped your arms around her middle, hugging her back with no hesitation. But what you hadn’t expected, was for her to lean back and press a kiss to your lips.
You paused, frozen, eyes wide as Ashley kissed you. What the fuck? She wasn’t a bad kisser, actually. You felt a little bad, not kissing her back as Ashley pulled away, letting go of you and taking a step back. You sort of wished you had kissed her back. But, as the girl stood there, she held no contempt for the fact that you hadn’t. She knew she’d taken you by complete surprise.
“Thank you, both of you. I know I already said it, but thank you for saving my life. It, it means a lot.” Ashely said, her lips — which had been as soft as you thought they were — curved in a sweet smile. Baby blue eyes darted between you and Leon.
Leon who was as shocked as you that Ashley had kissed you with such little hesitation. He was still recovering as well.
Ashely said no more, just offering one last wide smile before turning around and walking away. Her guard — which had followed her outside, running behind her — escorted her. She didn’t even look back, didn’t get a second look at the still shocked look on your face.
“Holy fuck,” you said finally, looking away from Ashley’s retreating figure to look at Leon. He was shocked as well, brows raised as he blinked for a moment.
“Yep, that was weird.” Leon mumbled, nodding as if in affirmation. He said no more, turning around and walking to the SUV, leaving you in momentary silence.
You blinked yourself back to the present, realizing Leon’s comment. You frowned, turning and quickly walking to the SUV as well. “So I didn’t just have a dehydration induced hallucination? She actually kissed me?”
“She actually kissed you,” Leon nodded as he buckled in the SUV, you climbing in and sitting beside him. The car started and rolled out of the parking lot.
“Oh my God.” You said, brows raised, shaking your head. You were unsure of what else there really was to say. You were at a total loss for words.
“Fucking weird.” Leon shook his head, whispering again.
This caused you to look over at him, brows raised. “Why? Because we’re girls?” You brought up your challenge from the previous night, knowing full well you’d get the same damn response.
“No, because it's you.”
You frowned deeper, lips downturned. Oh, you liked a good fucking challenge. “You think I’m like, un-kissable, or something, Kennedy?”
Leon rolled his eyes, exhaustion obviously catching up to him. He looked tired — physically and mentally. “I didn’t say that. It’s just weird.”
“See, that’s not an explanation. Just like it wasn’t last night.” You chided, eyes narrowed.
“Christ,” Leon mumbled under his breath as shook his head, clearly regretting ever speaking in the last five minutes. “It’s just weird to see my partner being kissed like that.”
You took this as your chance, a grin forming on your lips. “By another girl? Or just in general?”
“General.” Leon responded, obviously not caring of how bored it sounded.
“Jealous or something?” You challenged further, lips pulled in a shit-eating grin.
Oh you’d gotten him there. You could tell by the way Leon’s shoulders tensed and his too casual expression that he was, indeed, sickeningly jealous. An idea — stupid, one that may ruin your dynamic — popped into your head.
You turned your body to face Leon in the backseat, grinning as he frowned at your sudden closeness. With no hesitation or moment for him to react, you leaned forward and kissed him. Square on the mouth. It must be a thing for blondes to have really soft lips.
Leon didn’t say a word, didn’t pull back, didn’t move. He just let you kiss him. Which was strange in and of itself. You placed a hand on his cheek, him a hand on the back of your neck. Eureka, he’d wanted to kiss you all along. Fuck yes, that’s all you could think.
Leon was a decent kisser too, a really good kisser actually. You scooched a little closer, allowing him to hold you by the back of your neck, your body relaxed against his as if it were natural to do so.
Was this what Ashely was feeling when she’d kissed you? Absolute elation and joy? You didn’t let yourself wonder too much, getting swept up in the fact that you were kissing Leon. His hand was gentle yet firm on the back of your neck, your hand on his cheek drifting down to rest against his chest. This moment, God you wished it could last forever.
Which unfortunately, it didn’t. You heard someone clear their throat, the driver looking at you through the rear view mirror. You pulled back, cheeks a little warm. You must look like some sort of girl. Someone who got around maybe. First the First Daughter had kissed you, now you were verging on making out with your field partner in the backseat of a government vehicle.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, pulling away from Leon and sitting back on the seat.
Leon scoffed to himself, letting his hand fall from where it’d been resting on the back of your neck. “You’re stupid,”
“Excuse me?” You let out a small laugh. You’d kissed him and he was calling you stupid? What the hell?
“I can’t believe it took you that long to realize.” Leon shook his head, making you roll your eyes. He’d been jealous the whole time. So the comment of how weird it’d been that Ashley would kiss you — and actually had — was exactly what you thought. Huh, you were some amateur detective.
“Shut up,” you smiled, mumbling as you crossed your arms over your chest, sinking into the seat.
“Nope.” Leon shook his head, making you smile wider.
Maybe these tests wouldn’t be so bad, now that you had two kisses to think on. One you could only ever remember, and one you could receive a million more of once all this was over.
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how you can help Palestine! 🇵🇸
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wolfiesmoon · 2 months
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Obtaining warmth
Jack x gn!reader
oh man this fic concept is a throwback isnt it :) i decided to revisit it bc i find it sooooooo cuteeee <3
i thought the idea fit really well with jack too, especially since he says himself he isn't much of a romantic
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You rolled over on the bed, looking at Jack who was currently turned away from you, body rising and falling slightly from each breath he takes.
He definitely isn't asleep yet, you can tell. And it kinda bothers you that he's turned away from you like the two of you just had an argument when you just had a normal day. He never was the super romantic type, but sometimes the two of you talk in bed right before falling asleep and today is one of the days that you miss that type of interaction. It's so casual and yet it feels so warm and domestic.
But tonight you're missing a different kind of affection.
You kinda want cuddles right now. No, scratch that, you really want cuddles right now. And since Jack won't do it on his own, it's sure to work with a little push in the right direction.
"Jack, are you still awake?" you ask in a hushed tone despite already knowing the answer. He hums in response, subtly telling you he's listening.
"I'm cold..." you complain. You weren't actually all that cold, but your end goal is cuddles and bodies exchange heat when pressed together so by that logic, he should...
get up?
He wordlessly gets up from the bed and leaves the room, leaving you all confused and worried. You haven't said anything weird, have you? And even if you did, he wouldn't just straight up leave.
After about a minute, you can hear his footsteps again and he comes back into the room holding a warm blanket.
Ohhhh.
Well, that explains a lot. You have to hold back from smiling like a lovestruck idiot when he goes over to your side of the bed and gently covers you with the blanket. How sweet of him. It's these little casual acts of protection that make Jack Jack.
But alas, that's not what your goal is.
As he lays back down in bed, you complain again, hoping he'll get the hint this time. "I'm still cold."
He groans slightly. "There's no way I forgot to turn on the heating. Are you sick? Feeling weird?" He asks, glancing over his shoulder to look at you. He can make out your pleading face through the darkness. Guess you want more blankets.
He gets up again, coming back with yet another fluffy blanket to cover you with. He doesn't notice the pout on your face when he does so.
"Jack, I'm cold." you complain again when he lays back down. Okay, now he's seriously stumped.
"Seriously. Are you sick?" he turns over and places a hand on your forehead to check for a fever. You sigh. Guess being subtle isn't gonna work out. You have to be a little more direct.
You wrap your arms around him and make a little noise of content. This is what you're talking about.
"Ah, how warm. I'm okay now." you snuggled up into him, exaggerating your satisfaction just a slight bit. He hugs you back after a few seconds.
"That's what you wanted this entire time..." Seems he caught on to what you were doing.
He sounded a bit annoyed, and you don't blame him. He was probably really sleepy himself and you made him get up twice just to get blankets for you when you never needed them in the first place.
Actually, you didn't make him do anything. That was on him. You just had different methods of obtaining warmth in mind.
"Yeah. Sorry you had to get up." you patted his back, silently showing him you're still thankful for his efforts to make you comfortable. Very very thankful.
"It's fine. Just tell me you want cuddles directly next time." he huffed, relaxing in your arms.
But, you have a feeling that whenever you complain about feeling cold from now on, he'll know exactly what to do.
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justsomefluff · 10 months
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Ateez as Types of Everyday Fluff
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Hongjoong: the type to kiss something off of your lips rather than wipe it away with his hand
Joongieeee
I know that he is one of the members who hates kisses the most
but not with his partner
just thinks kissing the members is cringe
anyway if you two are eating together or maybe having a snack while sitting on the couch
doesn't care if it's in public or not
if you get something on the side of your mouth and dont notice it?
swoops in so fast to kiss it away
and you'll just kind of stare at him dumbfounded because he's not much for PDA
and he'll just smirk and shrug while licking his lips
"you had something there. but i got it for you :)"
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Seonghwa: the type to say "but what about me" when you're cuddling a plushie
picture this
you're sitting on the couch waiting for Seonghwa to bring some snacks to the living room for movie night
and you got a squishmallow (lol my real life mixing with my delusions get me outttt)
and you're hugging it and stuff bc soft
and when he comes back he stops and stares at you
one because it's super cute, but two because... where he gon sit?
will literally drop all the snacks on the table and pout at you
if you ask what's wrong he's literally just gonna rip the plushie from your hands and fling it (lmao yk the video of him throwing the bean bag)
but then lowkey feels bad and brings it back to you
will allow the plushie to remain on the couch but it must watch as you snuggle him instead
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Yunho: the type to pull you closer in his sleep
YUYU SWEET BOY
whenever you two share a bed he's gotta be touching you
swears he won't fall asleep if you don't snuggle
when he does fall asleep though, I feel like he's the type to roll around and fidget a lot
and if you move away or he moves away?
he might not wake up but he's gonna grope the bed until he finds you
just kind of flopping his hands and arms everywhere until they land where they should
he won't pull you to him though, he'll pull himself to you
and just nuzzles his lil nose in your neck and it tickles because he's snoring and letting out lil baby puffs of air
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Yeosang: the type to bully you
bullies you in the cute, cringey way
like will take you to the aquarium and point at the wolf eel and be like omg your twin
or if you walk by a garbage can he's like omg it smells like your morning breath
omg this reminds me of you (hands you literally the ugliest shirt you've ever seen)
curses your own two ears with his insults
but he's also so giggly and cute about it
it's impossible to be mad
and he always makes sure you know he's joking
whether because he's scared he'll hurt your feelings, or because he's scared you'll hurt him
the world may never know
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San: the type to give you his plushie to hold
polar opposite of Seonghwa
if you're sitting together playing a video game or watching a movie or just chilling
and he has to get up for some reason
he doesn't like the idea of leaving you by yourself even for one minute so he'll be like
baby i'll be right back hold Shiber
and when he first does this it's kind of like ???? lol ok????
but then you realize that he just wants you to have company
he always wants you to know that he's thinking of you even when you're apart
does that mean i have to think of you going to the bathroom rn
NO DONT THINK ABOUT THAT
WELL YOU SAID TO HOLD SHIBER WHILE YOU PEE
lmao
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Mingi: the type to feed you the last bite of his food
you guys are getting to the end of a meal together
and he's noticed you eyeing his food the whole time as if you didn't have your own
he'll be super dramatic about it and be like
OH WOOWWW
IM SOOO FULLLLL
SO FULFILLING
I COULDNT POSSIBLY EAT ONE MORE BITE
and will look at you, and stretch and yawn and rub his tummy
and then offer you his fork
"finish it for me?"
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Wooyoung: the type to do nothing with you
i know that sounds weird
but he just enjoys your company
does not care if theres an activity involved or not
just wants to be around you
you two could just lay together and talk
or even lay together and say nothing at all
i know he's our hyperactive boy
but since he runs a million miles a minute he really loves when he can savor the slow, peaceful moments with you
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Jongho: the type to drop you off at work
wants to be there for you even when you don't need him
also enjoys the little time he can spend with you, even when you're half asleep in his passenger seat
likes to be the last person you see before you go into work
he likes to think that you'll have a better day that way
like he's some sort of good luck charm (he is)
also sees himself as an acts of service kind of guy
loves to do things for you
little things you'd never complain about, but still appreciate when they're done for you
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hotluncheddie · 3 months
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omg it's been said before but your autistic Steve series is so good so life affirming so precious to me..... and so I would like to share my own thoughts on the matter...... Steve who did sports bc he had so much excess energy!! and now he gets the zoomies all the time and needs NEEDS to get outside and run around when the weather is nice...... Steve who thinks he's unforgivably strange and unlovable without his perfectly crafted mask and Robin who says she likes him better without it!!!!.... Steve hyperfixations (feat Steve who reads and frequents the library my beloved, he's so casually curious it just makes sense with his characterization I think)...... Steve full body stimming with Eddie or Robin and feeling amazing!!!!!...... Steve who has set up his space Exactly The Way He Likes It.....
love and light to you ♥️💋🥞🏄🏻
lovely 2jug2head!!! hello!!! ur so sweet!!!
but autistic steve!!! my love!! my guy!!! yesssss!!!! these are all so good! so sweet and lovely and perfect!!! ty for sending me this!!!
(sorry this reply took a little to get too, i've been on my freak shit but finally got few ideas down for u <3)
i think steve would take time learning what stimming and being overstimulated and understimulated means. i think after the upside-down especially, but a lot before that too, he got too used to detaching, kind of separating from his body in order to survive. so now, sometimes, he gets these itches and urges and weird feelings and he just doesn’t know what to do about it. [and i think sport definitely helped him in the past, but i dunno if he would make that connection right away.]
but, he watches robin flap her arms with her sweater sleeves covering her hands. and watches eddie get fucking breathless head banging to a song. he sees robin skip to his car at the end of a shift, looking up at the sky and letting out a 'AHH!' with so so much feeling, cheeks flushed and eyes bright that the day is done, getting in and fiddling with the radio like it’s no big deal. he watches eddie jiggle his leg and bite his rings and stand up and pace when he's talking about something he loves. and steve tries them.
he tries all of them.
he fists his hands and shakes them until something dislodges in his chest, till he can finally take a full breath. he sings loudly along to bruce springsteen and wham in his car in the mornings, sometimes not ever really singing, just making noise. he jumps around his room with robin when she plays blondie, he asks eddie to show him how to head bang, tries it and laughs and kisses him breathless when the song ends. he gives robin his keys and takes off running in a lap around the building after work, sometimes near sprinting, sometimes circling five, six times, going till he's panting and the faces of all the people he had to see that day are washed away, until he can't feel the plastic on his fingers, can't smell the bleach or the too much cologne some guy used. until he's reset, until he's him again, not theirs, not who anyone wants him to be. until he feels good again, lets himself feel good.
sometimes, now, he jiggles his leg the same way eddie does, at the same time, until robin says she has to move 'feel fuckin' seasick over here with you two goblins.' and eddie just laughs. and steve can curl up into his side, if he wants, can pick up eddies hand and bite his rings if he feels like it, eddie would let him, maybe call him cute, wouldn't judge him. neither of them would, if he did that, if he did more. they would never, and its so nice.
<3
["Steve who thinks he's unforgivably strange and unlovable without his perfectly crafted mask" ;-; that's my fcuking GUY. he would and its so :(( !!!! ]
but yeah, robin would hate that fake plastic smile he puts on to mask sometimes. and she'd tell him, with so much love. 'stop it. show me you.' because she just wants to be with steve.
but she’s so wonderful, he just, she gets it. sometimes things that he didn’t even know were bothering him will build and he’ll snap and rant and moan to finally get it all out. lungs heaving as he empties everything out before her. but she’ll just look at it, and seem to place it all in a way that makes sense, a way that’s small and fits in his pocket. she’ll say ‘woah yeah, that seems like a lot / would be stressful / i’m not surprised you're overwhelmed’ and it’s just. it’s so simple. he’s seen, he’s listened too and validated. it still makes him pause, in stunned silence, and it’s like there’s a plaster placed on his heart with every instance that it happens. sometimes it seems to strike such a chord it's like it's hitting a deep wound that he buried inside, a scab finally healing and falling away. sometimes it makes him sob in her arms, overwhelmed and amazed and so so moved by this person he's met, this wonderful angelic creature that he gets to call his.
the next time he has his super masked, customer service face on when its just the two of them, she threatens to bite him. and steve smiles for real, laughs, feels another plaster sticking over the others.
<3
and steve library frequenter yes yes!! i agree that he is curious and practical and i think a hands on kind of guy! so i think he goes to the library and gets books about cars. i think he likes learning about how to fix his, trying to understand what could go wrong, how it happens, what you do in different scenarios. i think that's something him and eddie and wayne bond over, helping to fix their cars. steve and eddie even work together to do up wayne's van a little, getting it a new bumper and a couple parts scavenged at the junkyard. it's fun for him to work out what's missing, what’s changed, how and why and then putting it into practice. taking something apart and putting it back together. makes him feel proud of himself, something he really doesn't feel often. makes his brain zone in and flow and focus for a couple hours and it just feels so nice, its a happy time for him.
also, speaking of special interests - ✨sport stats✨. steve can name the players of all the basketball teams currently playing professionally, likes watching the tactics shows that come on before and after the games. likes talking at eddie and explaining why its actually really cool that they swapped out that player to give this new guy a chance, he's big news, a young up and comer and has a really interesting play style, its gonna work well with how their current manger organises the court. and eddie just smiles at him, squeezing steves hand in his lap and trying to understand what he sees on screen, follow along (he struggles to take in all the information, it's just not his thing. but it makes him so happy when he watches steve watch.) and steves happy little keens when something interesting happens, mindlessly fiddling with eddie’s fingers and tapping his other hands fingers against his knee, 1, 2, 3, 2, 4, 2. relaxed and focused and sometimes he rocks when it gets really tense and eddies heart bursts.
because it wasn't always like that, it was a struggle and a near pleading for eddie to just get steve to tell him what he likes, talk to him, get to know him. to just let eddie in. because eddie wanted to know everything and steve just didn't know how to deal with that. why would eddie care? no one ever listens to him. he's embarrassing and annoying and gets to loud and eddie doesn't like sports so why would steve tell him anything? it took soft words and gentle encouragement and reassurance again and again that he's listening, he wants to listen, wants to know. 'always, always wanna listen to what you have to say stevie.' so when steve comes over to the trailer after work, talking about the latest switch they announced in the paper, how last nights points shifted the league around and now he doesn't even know who's going to win, isn't that cool? eddie fucking beams because this is his boy. his bright, beautiful, exited baby and he’s talking to eddie, he's letting eddie see him.
<3
steve and his space though. thinking very much about that. he doesn’t have the strictest schedule, he’s learning that sometimes its okay to leave the sheets for another couple days, that the dust can settle for another week before he needs to wipe it away. but some things are just, they just have to be right. he needs to know where things are, needs the important stuff in the same place every day so he doesn't forget. needs his products in the bathroom out and in order so he can keep track of when something needs replacing, so he's not left without something he needs. wants this one specific pillow at night, and one for between his knees and a duvet on year round, needs it to feel warm and safe and right in his bed.
and his clothes, its not even about the sensory stuff for him, like yeah most of his tops are soft, his jeans pretty worn in. he has some really old sweatshirts that are special, that come out on the worst days. but it's also about how clothes look, how they make him feel. he want his jeans to fit right, sit right on his shoes. wants his shirts to make his shoulders look nice, make him feel comfortable and confident and like a normal fucking person who can exist in the world. its another part of the mask, maybe. but it works and its his and most of the time he thinks he looks good. and that's okay. he's learning and its healthy and its practical and it helps.
but he also adores wearing eddies t-shirts. when he's at home all day or to sleep at night. especially if eddies not there, when steve misses him, when he wants him. steve wears eddies t-shirts to bed. they're all ones eddies left after staying, they're old and soft and the tags have been cut out and they smell like eddie. like his eddie. like he's there. steve loves it, wraps himself up in it, helps him feel soothed and taken care of even if he's alone, maybe its a little sad, makes him feel embarrassed, too much. but he's learning not to care.
sometimes eddie talks to him and touches him in a certain special way that makes steve feel so so foggy and taken care of and amazing. so, if eddie's not there but he craves that foggy feeling, steve wears eddies t-shirts and he speaks to himself like eddie would and he makes himself dinner and looks after himself and tucks himself into bed and rubs the fabric of the collar against his nose. and tries not to feel embarrassed if he needs more, if he has to suck on his fingers/thumb for a while, clutching the fabric in his hand. tries to let himself whimper or even cry a little if he needs, at how nice it feels, how gooey and needy he can allow himself to get. accept it as part of himself, that eddie likes it, still likes him, still loves him. just something he needs sometimes. and steve falls asleep, wearing eddies t-shirt.
<3
gonna tag a few people who might want to see, hope that's okay? wanna spread him around and show him off!! look at him!!! our best guy!!!
@pearynice @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @spectrum-spectre @just-a-tiny-void @steventhusiast @cherrychapsticksteve @lil-gremlin-things @finntheehumaneater @irethsune
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bellasprettywords · 2 days
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Crappy day at the office (Spencer Reid x Reader)
a/n: This time I bring to you a little conforting one shot, as I had a really bad day at work and all I craved was some lasagna and cuddles
This is not proofread yet, srry, you guys
My masterlist
Warnings: Fluff, and this is kinda lame, I'm just tired and needed comfort
Word count: 962ish bc there are emojis
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Being an Assistant District Attorney was all fun and games, until you had your ass handed to you in Court. Sometimes it felt like no matter how much work you put into a case, if the evidence is not completely convincing, and reasonable doubt just shatters the case you so much time and effort you had put in.
After the disaster at Court, the way back to the District Attorney’s Office was hell: there was a huge road block which caused a traffic jam that made you late for a meeting at with your boss; the printer wasn’t working properly, so you had to struggled when printing some files you needed for a deposition, and you still had at least six pending report for the day. Your head started spiraling, but your train of thought seemed interrupted when your boyfriend’s name popped on your phone screen:
“Hey Spence! What’s up?” you tried to answer as casually as you could
“How’s the most beautiful woman at the District Attorneys is doing?” Spencer said, and you could hear the smile that was forming into his lips as he was talking
“The day has been hectic, I don’t think I’ll be home early today; what about you? How’s San Francisco?” you asked hoping your boyfriend’s day at work would take your mind off from the crappy day you were having
“San Fran was great, I mean, it’s great, but actually, I should get back to work. Talk to you later?” Spencer said in kind of rush, which weirded you about a little, but you didn’t mind, at the end of the day, Spencer quirks were a huge part of what made you fall for him
“Alright then, I love you” you said with the hint of a smile curling up on your lips
“I love you too, honey” he said, blowing one last kiss before hanging up the call
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Finally, after a day that felt immensely long, you were finally pulling up into your apartment building, all you could think about was taking a long, hot shower, eating some takeout, and finishing the day watching reality tv to apace your mind. The way up to your apartment you were just eager to call your boyfriend, hoping this time he had more time to ramble about your crappy day, sure Spencer always tried to rationalize your problems with logical solutions, but you just needed to hear his voice to feel at ease.
You were clicking the key into your door, when suddenly, you realized there was a lovely smell coming from your apartment and with a huge grin, you opened the door to see your boyfriend, mighty Doctor Spencer Reid, struggling to take lasagna out from the oven without burning himself or making a mess.
“Hey… youuuuu” you said rushing to hug your boyfriend and you couldn’t help smiling from ear to ear
“How are you, beautiful?” Spencer hugged you back and you couldn’t help yourself to burry your face in the crock of his neck and take a deep breath, inhaling his scent of muck and coffee “I flew in here when I first called you, but I could tell something was wrong from your tone, so I wanted to do something nice for you”
“Damn it with the profiler abilities” you said, laughing playfully and merging into a sweet kiss
“What happened today? You sounded really odd?” Spencer’s voice was filled with concern, and you could see it building it up on his beautiful eyes
“Nothing, everything, it was one of those days, when everything just goes wrong” you started rambling about everything that went wrong through the day, and nothing filled your heart with more love, than seeing Spencer paying full attention to you, memorizing every detail and nodding empathetically sporadically. You rambled and rambled, while Spencer held you and caressed you, immediately making you feel better.
“… So, that’s enough rambling about me, and my tragic life, when I was coming into the apartment I saw a lasagna being taking out of the oven, so I’m guessing it’s for me?” you said trying to wrap it up, and eager to try your boyfriend’s cooking
“As a matter of fact, I did prepare a lasagna, and I’m excited for you to try it, so let’s sit down and have dinner” Spencer said excitedly, serving one generous plate of lasagna while you poured yourself a glass of wine “Here you go ma’am” he said placing the plate in front of you
“Thank you, very much!” you said placing a kiss into Spencer’s cheek; you watched him placing his plate and sitting down, and you couldn’t believe how lucky you had gotten with Spencer; he really was the whole package, he was crazy smart, sweet, considerate, and sometimes you felt that his only motivation was making you happy.
“What are you spiraling about?” Spencer said, taking you out of your train of thought
“Nothin’, I was just thinking how lucky I am to have such an amazing boyfriend” you said, grinning from ear to ear, ready to dig in on the lasagna; you watched as Spencer blushed and chuckled like a kid, so you said the magic words both you and your boyfriend loved the most to hear: “I love you”
“I love you even more, now dig in and tell me how amazing my lasagna is” Spencer said with a smug smile and you decided to comply, trying what was definitely one of the best lasagnas of your life, because of course, it was made by the man that you love
Sure, your day had been crappy at the office, but with a boyfriend as affectionate, caring and understandable as Spencer was, you knew even in your most difficult days, you’d be okay.
This is a little shorter than usual, and defenetly is over the place, but I just needed a little fluff for my night
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brandnewhuman · 1 year
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THE COD MALEWIFE
♡ random headcanons ♡
☆ starring ☆
♡ könig aka the most babygirl of them all ♡
Tw: mentions of anxiety, weight and mature language. Other than that pure fluff
A/N: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T GET IT HOW MUCH THIS MAN IS STARTING TO GROW ON ME. THIS FUCKING TALL ASS BITCH AND THE OTHER GIANT JACK SKELLIGNTON FUCKER ARE THE BAIN OF MY EXISTENCE. I needed to do write for him, you can blame it on tiktok and it's sinful content and @bloodlst for fueling my obsession
He knows a lot of cool fidgeting tricks with pencils or knives because he needs to keep his hands busy when he's nervous.
It's almost like a security blanket for him when he's around too many people, he carries something he can fidget with and uses it
I can't stress this enough but tall people have back pains and oh boy if könig is tall
He is always cranky in the morning because of it and because he loves to just sleep in the weirdest fucking positions ever
Which is funny cause otherwise his postures is always very straight and stiff, it just that when he sleeps he gets all weird
About that, he hates, absolutely despises, the beds they have during missions
THEY'RE TOO SMALL OKAY? AND TOO THIN AND HE CAN'T FUCKING REST WELL AT ALL
which makes me absolutely sure he downs coffee likes it's fucking water
His breakfast is basically a big ass mug of coffee first and then some herbal or fruity tea or maybe some juice
He loves sweets but has a weirdly good self control
He just likes the idea of savouring things rather than eating all at once bc they're so good
Besides I just know he has also a tendency to gain weight more easily than the others
He just tries to be as healthy and balanced with things as much possible bro
The only times he doesn't pays much attention to what he eats is around the holidays or when he gets to see his family
Which always ends up in him putting some weight but he doesn't cares that much, he always gets in shape before getting back to work
He loves to read, he carries a book everywhere he goes and ITS THAT TYPE OF PERSON WHO CAN'T FUCKING HIDE THEIR REACTION TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE STORY
You can actively see this unit of a man closing the book and like getting up and walking away two steps just to turn around and keep reading
HE CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA OKAY? LEAVE HIM ALONE
He does not look his age at all. Either bc of how youthful he acts or bc he looks really young no one has ever guessed his age and it's something he find quite funny so he just let people try to figure it out on their own
People are often really mean with him and sometimes really harsh. He knows they're just playing around and they mess up with everyone like that but he gets genuinely hurt sometimes
No one notices cause he always takes it like a champ tho
I feel like ghost kind of gets annoyed at him. Not for the reason you may think
He's just looks always so serene and at peace, but most importantly happy and it's something ghost can't comprehend given what they do for a living
Key word is looks
König is not a sad person by default and he recovers pretty quickly for certain things but he always carries around a weight of guilt and self doubt that is unbearable sometimes
Much like ghost, this man is kind of scare of himself really
He always worries about ending up being some sort of psycho who has no regards towards human lives
He gets so carried away when he's on the mission and often does not realise how efficient and kind of brutal he can get
He is absolutely scared of ghost. Everytime he is in the same room with him he just gets so nervous he ends up embarrassing himself more than once
Look, I may be projecting onto him but I KNOW THIS MAN AND HE HAS HIS JAW FUCKED UP FROM CLENCHING IT TOO MUCH
like I have anxiety and my jaw is dislocated cause ever since I was a kid I was always clenching my jaw while sleeping or unconsciously while going about my day so I just know that someone like him has the same problem
He has definitely popped his jaw and hurted his ear more than once and has ADORABLE CROOKED TEETH CAUSE I DO AND I WANT HIM TOO OKAY?
he is really good at signing but everyone thinks he's not because the few times he has tried to sing in front of someone he fucked up from being too nervous
He knows how to play piano. As matter of fact he has one at home
Prefers wine over beer or cocktails but has a weird ass liking for strong liquors
And BTW he is annoyingly hard to get drunk, this man could get down shot after shot and still be as lucid as ever
Which soap found out by embarrassing himself. König ended up trying to take care for him the whole night cause he felt guilty
When he gets angry is not a pretty scene. He's always so jolly and easy going even if you're rude to him so is hard for him to get angry, but when he snaps this man is not playing around
Smells of fresh laundry and lemon perfume
He is still pretty mad about not being able to be a sniper. Specially because he's good at his job, he knows he is but no one believed in him and his abilities bc of his height and his anxiety
When he was younger everyone always used to talk over him because he had difficulty with speech due to his anxiety
He used to get so frustrated to the point of crying and since no one ever had the patience to listen to him he just used to write on notebooks all the things no one ever wanted to hear
He still does it and has like a lot of diaries filled with rants, thoughts, jokes ecc
When he was younger he used to listen to the FILTHIEST SONGS not knowing what they were about because he didn't understand English well
When he's nervous his accent slips a little bit
He writes letters to his loved ones and specially his s/o when his away from home and has the prettiest handwriting ever
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another-lost-mc · 9 months
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Thinking about it, in a world with an otaku!MC the brothers are kind of obligated to be nicer to Levi bc any insults towards him would be dragging MC down with him..
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A/N: Oooooh. I wrote Player Two which is the brothers basically treating Levi and MC the same (as geeky weirdos) but MC doesn't really care because Levi's the best friend they've always wanted. Thinking about the reverse of that situation is interesting in its own way too.
LEVIATHAN x gn!Reader, 0.6k words, SFW.
Content warnings: some cursing and jealousy.
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It started with a pack of candy. Beel picked it up at one of the Devildom shops known for importing human world sweets. You've talked about the brand and he thought he'd surprise you. He would've given it to you in private, but Levi was glued to your hip more often than not these days. He found both of you in your bedroom playing Super Smash Devils.
"Oh...you meant this was for both of us, right?" you asked, glancing between the pack of candy and Levi guiltily.
Beel fumbled through a lie to cover up his mistake and rushed from the room. He makes a note for next time so he remembers to buy three boxes instead of two (one for you, one for Levi, and one for himself).
After he left, you took a piece for yourself and handed Levi the box. You hummed happily around the coated end of your stick candy while you turned back to the screen to select your character for the new match.
Maybe you bought Beel's flimsy excuse earlier, but Levi didn't. Things have been strange with his family lately, but you seem ignorant about the changing family dynamics going on around you.
The other siblings don't tease Levi anymore when he talks about a game he bought or some random gacha toy he managed to get, because you're excited about it too. They don't want to hurt your feelings, so they try to keep their opinions to themselves.
Some of them, like Beel or Mammon, make an effort to surprise you with little gifts: capsules from a gacha machine in downtown Devildom, overpriced knock-off plushies of anime characters at the ghost carnival passing through. Satan surprises you with manga off your Akuzon wish list, and Asmo paints your nails while you watch anime together in your room.
From Levi's perspective, their sudden change of heart about his dorky hobbies is a double-edged sword.
He's happy that they're accepting of you now. When you first arrived, they initially treated you like a weird outcast—the way they used to treat him. You're not as introverted as he is, and they're making an effort to include you both in activities you might actually enjoy.
But on the other hand, part of him wishes they would just fuck off. You're perfect. He knows you've charmed them as much as you've charmed him, but he was your friend first. He thought he was going to be able to keep you all to himself. He knew from the first time you stepped into his room that you were the real-life Henry he's always wanted. He's the one that should be buying you gifts so he can hoard your praise for himself. You should be spending time in his room, or inviting him to yours, if you want to watch anime.
Why are you even giving them a chance? They don't deserve it. They were too stupid to realize how special you were. Don't you realize they're only tolerating the things you love so they can be close to you?
He tries to hide his growing jealousy, but it gets harder as time passes and his brothers keep finding new ways to insert themselves into your hobbies.
You notice Levi's foul mood sometimes when he can't contain the bitterness that laces his voice or the irritation in his glances. He gives you an excuse so you don't worry about him; he doesn't want to taint you with the bitter venom coursing through his veins.
You're finally happy living in the Devildom now that his family seems more accepting of you—of both of you.
He's furious that their acceptance means having to share you with anyone else.
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crazyfor-toby · 6 months
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hi!! First of all happy belated birthday no idea when you’ll see this but 🥳 I just wanted to see if you could just do some general kinda fluff for Toby and any other of your choosing during like the crush stage
also you are an amazing writer and incredibly creative whoever the douchebag who stood you up is doesn’t deserve you so get yourself a better man bc if anyone deserves it it’s you<3
so yeah that’s the end of my little rant and feel free to just ignore this ask, put yourself first!
-A ❤️
Summary :: Toby during the crush stage
Notes :: thank you so much!🤭 You are too sweet! btw I didn't know which Toby you wanted so I js did High school Toby but I can always change it if you want and make another one for him💟 I'm prob going to add Jeff later but I js wanted to get this out as soon as possible
Warnings :: none that I can think of except for the usual cursing
Readers gender :: None assigned, gender neutral
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This guy is so fucking mean for no reason but hates whenever anyone else is mean to you
He bullies you because he doesn't know how to respond to his own emotions and he has absolutely 0 experience. Plus, he thinks you're only talking to him to mess with him at first
I can see him falling for someone because they were nice to him or because he found them physically attractive as bad as it may sound to some people. But, he does know when someone is only being nice because they feel bad or they are just trying to mess with his feelings he just wants to be treated like a normal human being not get made fun of or have people be overly nice to him because of his disorders but we can get more into those emotions another time.
Even though he can most of the time tell the difference between genuine kindness and people feeling bad, sometimes he may think that people are messing with him when they actually are being genuinely nice because he overthinks everything and lets his bad thoughts take over a lot of the time.
Would definitely zone out while staring at you as he bites his nails and hands... Gets so many side eyes and weird stares because of it too
thinks about you 24/7 to the point it affects his daily life and his mother and sister get worried
He would probably mistake his romantic feelings for platonic at first but when he realizes the only thing that changes is how mean he is to you and I don't mean he gets nicer 😃 your #1 hater and #1 supporter
He's honestly confusing, one minute he'll be thinking you hate him and he doesn't have a chance to thinking he does have a chance and that you have the same feelings for him as he does for you.
Meaning that there's like a 30% he will make a first move on you because you have to catch him in the right mood, at the right time, on the right day which is pretty hard because you'll never know what mood he'll be in and he
He literally just acts like he hates you and if you asked him out or made a move he'd turn it down but then out of no where months later he will ask you out
he's honestly such an attention whore and he only craves your attention now so good luck
the only time he can really talk to you in person outside of school is if you happen to be friends with his sister or you guys meet up somewhere like a park or a cafe which isn't that often because of his parents so he makes up for it by texting you all day
Reminder though that he isn't some soft and shy bundle of joy who is just hurt, he is crazy and is slowly going under the control of Slenderman. He can have major mood swings and will most likely make you end up not liking him for the way he treats you at first, he doesn't mean it tho he's just a lil delulu 😊
Overall, your experience is gonna be a rough 5/10 unless you don't mind his harsh words then it'd be like a 6.5 - 7.5
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