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sixty-silver-wishes · 1 year

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Florida, politics, and why I cried watching Wicked today

So, I just got back from a performance of the musical Wicked today in Orlando. This was a show I was already quite familiar with, having seen it once before as a kid and having listened to the soundtrack dozens of times over the years. I have fond memories of belting "Defying Gravity" with my friends at sleepovers, or even acting out the entire script twice with one of them; I'd always be Elphaba, and my friend would always be Glinda. (My mom bought my sister and I the special-edition "Grimmerie" book, which included the full play script, interviews, and behind-the-scenes details.) Needless to say, Wicked is and has always been a nostalgic show for me, and that's what I expected when I went to see it today- familiar songs and characters, a heartwarming and oft-praised story about female friendship, and dazzling musical numbers that have since become iconic, almost to the point of cliche among theatre fans. If I was going to cry during Wicked, I thought, it would be solely because of this nostalgia. It turns out, I cried twice. Not just a teary eye or two, but full-on, ugly sobbing.

It turns out, Wicked is a very political show.

For as loud as Wicked is about its politics, surprisingly, that's not an element I see talked about much. Often times, when I see people talking about Wicked, it's usually the spectacle of "Defying Gravity" or the themes of friendship (and maybe even queer romance) between the two leads, or whether or not people who like this show are "real musical theatre fans" on account of how popular it is. And if you want to talk about those aspects of Wicked, go ahead; I'm not stopping you. But the themes of politics and activism motivate the entire plot, fuel the fluidity of "good" and "wicked" that is such a central theme of the show, and are responsible for all of the major character arcs. By the logic of Wicked, to be truly good is to be an activist, an advocate for the marginalized and to encourage others to do the same.

Whenever my sister and I would listen to Wicked's soundtrack as kids, we would usually skip over "Something Bad," a short but plot-important number that serves a number of functions. It wasn't as fun to sing along to as "Popular" or as energetic as "One Short Day," so we usually ended up not listening to it at all. "Something Bad" is sung by Doctor Dillamond, the history teacher at Shiz, a high-class academy in Oz which the main characters attend. Dillamond, an anthropomorphic goat, is the only animal teacher at Shiz, and while he cares for his students and his job, he is threatened with losing his position, both because he's physically losing his ability to speak, and because animals are being persecuted by Oz's human residents. "Something Bad" gives us this exposition, and demonstrates a show of solidarity between Dillamond and Elphaba, who is shunned and ridiculed by the other students due to her green skin. Dillamond also explains in a monologue that animal persecution has been going on for a long time in Oz (to which Glinda ignorantly states something along the lines of "why keep talking about the past instead of teaching us history?"), and that animals who lose their ability to speak do so because they have been made so afraid to that they forget how altogether.

Despite being a clear advocate for animal equality in Oz, Dillamond himself sometimes lapses into goat noises instead of speech, implying that this fear is getting to him as well. After all, his job is in a precarious position (he is later fired and forcibly removed from the classroom), he's the only animal teacher at the school, and the only person who takes him seriously is Elphaba, who herself is also a subject of ridicule. Even Dillamond's own classroom is no longer safe for him, as it has been vandalized with a message reading, "animals should be seen and not heard." And when Elphaba is made aware of what is happening to the animals, she sings the last line of "Something Bad"- "It couldn't happen here in Oz." And why should it happen in Oz? After all, Oz is a colorful, quirky place full of magic and silly expressions, and different kinds of people and creatures who seem to coexist. But it is happening in Oz, and Elphaba, as a victim of baseless discrimination, already knows that Oz is not the free-spirited, fantasy utopia it appears to be.

So, in case I haven't made it excruciatingly obvious, "Something Bad" took on an entirely new significance when I watched it performed today. Dillamond is an educator, specifically a history teacher, who attempts to teach his students about the injustices against people (or in his case, animals) like him that have persisted for a long time, and he recognizes that these problems are only building and getting worse. In short, animal discrimination in Wicked's Oz is systemic, and didn't come out of nowhere. Animals are not just being forced from respected and influential positions in society, but also being limited from speaking altogether, specifically through the usage of fear and suppression. After Dillamond is fired, a man in a stark outfit bringing to mind the aesthetics of Nazi Germany enters the classroom, holding a cage with a young Cowardly Lion inside. He's also there to teach about animal speech in Oz, except this time, he shows off the caged lion cub and explains that animals should be silenced from birth, because the ability to speak against their own oppression makes them a threat.

Living in Florida, this scene, along with "Something Bad," hit me like a ton of bricks. Over the past few years, in my own state, I have been seeing the rise in discrimination against POC and LGBT+ people, specifically by the state government to target schools and educators, particularly history teachers like Dillamond. Teaching history and its systemic injustices is seen as a threat to right-wing power, and as education is targeted, people grow afraid to advocate for their own rights and grow disillusioned with the prospect of fighting for them, similar to how the animals in Wicked forget how to speak altogether after keeping silent to survive for so long. Like the lion cub, young people especially are targeted, with the school system and trans healthcare for minors being restricted, as to discourage those who are young and societally marginalized from advocating for themselves. Even after Elphaba and Fiyero free the lion, he remains "cowardly," because he has likely been traumatized from a young age.

"It couldn't happen here in Oz" chillingly mirrored the sentiments I had been feeling when I saw footage of a neo-Nazi rally in 2022 about five minutes away from where I went to university, the list of banned books from schools, a governor who has been endangering lives and acting like a dictator, and yet won re-election by a large margin... it couldn't happen here in Florida, where I've lived all my life, and yet it has been happening for a long time, or else how would we get to this point in the first place? And for those who live outside of Florida and disdainfully act like what's happening here could never happen in their state or country, it could happen there too. It could happen anywhere, and the only way to resist it is to confront it.

The number that follows "Something Bad" is "Dancing Through Life," where Fiyero is introduced as a happy-go-lucky himbo prince, easily seducing the entire school (sans Elphaba) by sharing his philosophy with them- that "life is painless/for the brainless/why think so hard/when it's so soothing/dancing through life." The student body all goes along with this, but Elphaba can't "dance through life;" she's shunned and bullied by her peers for something she can't change. She studies magic as a means to escape her social situation, hoping to become exceptional and work with the Wizard to gain respect and admiration. Doctor Dillamond and the animals, as we saw from the previous scene, can't "dance through life;" their rights are being taken away and they struggle to survive. Nessa and Boq want to "dance through life" in their own ways, but are taken advantage of by Glinda and Fieyero. "Dancing through life" is a privilege that only those who don't have to think can afford, and of course, Glinda is swept into the idea immediately. Everyone else must work and think tirelessly to survive, and it's not until both Glinda and Fiyero recognize this that Elphaba softens towards them. The idea of "dancing through life" is indirectly brought up later, when the Wizard tries to persuade Elphaba to work with him, and suggests that after taking care of her sister all her life and being discriminated against, she deserves someone to take care of her, giving her this opportunity to "dance through life" if she assists him in oppressing the animals with her magic. Elphaba refuses, but the Wizard knows this idea appeals to her; after all, her striving to "make good" and be a powerful sorcerer stems from a need to be accepted.

After Elphaba and Glinda become friends, they go to the Emerald City, where Elphaba hopes to speak to the Wizard about the animals losing their ability to speak, still trusting this mysterious authority figure to have his citizens' best interests at heart ("if something bad is happening to the animals, we need to tell the Wizard; that's why we have a Wizard!"). However, when the Wizard tricks her into giving a monkey, Chistery, wings through a painful spell, Elphaba realizes that the Wizard and Madame Morrible (the Shiz headmistress and the Wizard's press secretary) have enslaved multiple monkeys. After Elphaba's spell gave them all wings, the Wizard and Morrible are planning to use them as spies to further oppress the animals. When she tries to protest, resulting in a magic outburst, the guards chase her and Glinda down, where they barricade themselves into a room and the sequence of "Defying Gravity" occurs. "Defying Gravity" is Wicked's showstopping central piece. It's spectacular, the number is climactic and beautiful, and it's a great ending to the first act. But at the beginning of the number, we see an interesting conflict between Glinda and Elphaba that highlights their political positions, shaped by their differing access to privilege. Glinda accuses Elphaba of "flying off the handle" (broomstick pun?) for becoming enraged at seeing the enslaved flying monkeys and how she was tricked into casting a spell that hurt them, and advises her to just apologize to the Wizard, as she does not have the empathy for the animals and understanding that Elphaba has. However, Elphaba no longer wants to work with him after seeing the injustices he and Morrible are responsible for- and it's not just that, she "can't want it anymore." It's "too late for second guesses, too late to go back to sleep," as she's now aware of what the Wizard is up to.

Her decision to "defy gravity" is not just literally to fly away on a broom and escape, but to become an activist. She's endured discrimination all her life, and previously, the only way to escape that was to work with the Wizard. But now, she can't work with the Wizard, so instead she must do something else. She has an immense magical power and a desire to do good, so in order to truly do good, she must accept herself and her own morals. However, because she is considered an outsider and a threat by the Wizard (who has no real power of his own), in order to do good, she must become the "witch"- unaccepted by society, but in control of her power and motivated to use it. This is further symbolized by the costume and props she accumulates during this scene; she finds a broom, which she uses to escape, and Glinda gives her a shawl in addition to the pointy hat she gave her earlier as a cruel joke at the school dance. Even after finding out why Glinda gave it to her, Elphaba still wears the hat, reclaiming it as part of her iconic Witch outfit. She is now recognizably the Wicked Witch of the West, and this is how she "defies gravity"- by deciding not to sacrifice her morals, accept herself, and embrace her power- which the Wizard and Morrible do not have. Glinda decides to join her, and although both characters' moral alignments seem to fluctuate throughout the show as "good" and "evil" are shown to not be binary concepts in Wicked, it's this solidarity that gives them power.

This is why I was crying during "Defying Gravity"- not because of the vocals and visuals, or even my nostalgia, but because of its political relevancy and statement on solidarity and activism. In this scene, Elphaba is shown to be more powerful than her oppressors, and attains this power through unapologetically embracing herself. She is hunted and feared, but she refuses to take part in the Wizard's regime. And because of this refusal and desire to advocate for the oppressed, she is good. These days, here in Florida, "defying gravity" seems impossible. I constantly hear people, both my peers and left-leaning state officials in the news, say that things are hopeless, the political situation will only get worse, and more people will inevitably be harmed by consequence. And yet, "Defying Gravity" offers hope, showing that there's always a way to fight back, even if it seems impossible. As a consequence for her resistance and acceptance of herself, Elphaba is scapegoated as the "wicked witch," but she isn't backing down or, as Glinda suggested, apologizing to the Wizard for standing by her morals. She's no longer seeking respect from the people who discriminated against her, but rather to ally herself with a worthier cause- helping others who are oppressed. She has a power all her own, and she intends to use it.

Following "Defying Gravity," the way Morrible spreads rumours about Elphaba really reminds me of how right-wing conspiracies and fearmongering spread today. Such rumours are baseless (for instance, the idea that Elphaba would melt if doused with water), but as the general population are afraid of her, they latch onto them because it gives them hope that she could be defeated. Despite tricking Elphaba into giving the monkeys wings, Morrible claims (in a scene that also relies on fascism-related imagery with her screaming at a podium) that Elphaba "mutilated the innocent monkeys," instantly bringing to mind for me how modern anti-trans rhetoric is spread. While obviously, the scenario differs in that trans people who seek healthcare do so willingly, trans healthcare, especially for minors, is often similarly mischaracterized by the right as "mutilation of innocent children," with children commonly used as a talking point since it is much more difficult for them to advocate for themselves in the adult world of politics, similarly to how the animals in Wicked are forced to forget how to speak. Furthermore, Morrible spreads rumours in the same way that real-life conspiracies are spread, by taking a small bit of believable truth (Elphaba gave the monkeys wings) and distorting it into something widely seen as morally wrong (Elphaba intended to cause harm to the monkeys).

A mob against Elphaba grows, fueled by morality-related concerns- "Wickedness must be punished/for good." Here, "for good" takes on a double meaning- both to mean "permanently," and that the mob believes themselves to be fighting for the concept of "good." (We see expressions using the word "good" in multiple ways used throughout the show- "goodness knows the wicked's lives are lonely," "I have been changed for good," etc.) The parallels to conservative morality crises are obvious; the mob has been misinformed about something they don't understand, fear has been spread among them because they feel that "goodness" is under attack, and due to this fear, they want to fight anything that's different. During the mob scene, we see the Tin Man (formerly Boq) and the Cowardly Lion, two characters Elphaba tried to save, but have turned against her due to receiving this misinformation, as all of Elphaba's attempts to "make good" have only seemed to backfire.

Glinda, now officially "Glinda the Good," is in a complex position where she wants to help Elphaba, but plays the role of a public figure in order to console the people of Oz. Like when she was at school, she is addicted to their admiration, even at the expense of her friend's safety. Despite her moral struggles, Glinda ultimately wants to stay in a position of privilege instead of resisting the system oppressing Elphaba and the animals- she becomes "Glinda the Good" for the same reason she suggests Elphaba apologize to the Wizard before "Defying Gravity"- to maintain her position within the status quo, even though she now knows how damaging it is. Fiyero, however, is now aware of the system he's been contributing to, and dedicates himself to helping Elphaba, and its because he cares that she falls in love with him.

I want to talk a lot about the Wizard, because he and his song "Wonderful" are the largest and most obvious critique of using oppression to maintain the status quo. He even says something along the lines of (paraphrased) "where I'm from, people are only able to unite if it's against a common enemy." Where is the Wizard from? Kansas. In America. "Wonderful" is all about how he maintains power, and is positively dripping with political satire, specifically in how manipulating the historical narrative is used to control people. ("Where I'm from, people believe all sorts of things that aren't true! We call it history.") According to the Wizard, "A man's called a traitor/or liberator/a rich man's a thief/or philanthropist/is one a crusader, or ruthless invader?/it's all in which the label that is able to persist./Then there's precious few at ease/with moral ambiguities/so we act as though they don't exist!" He tells Elphaba that "the most celebrated/are the rehabilitated," suggesting that if she becomes complicit, she will win fame and admiration. Elphaba initially agrees on the condition that the Wizard frees the monkeys, but discovers Doctor Dillamond has been captured for protesting for animal rights and is now unable to speak, causing her to free the monkeys herself and putting herself further at odds with the Wizard.

For the Wizard, history is presented as strictly black and white, "good" and "evil," in order to create an easily-digestible narrative that influences people's morality and image of historical figures and systems. The complications and humanity of history are ignored, in favor of telling a narrative that benefits the "wonderful" Wizard, which is why Dillamond, who challenges this narrative and is, once again, a history teacher, is targeted. The Wizard says that he aims to make people happy and give them what they want to hear, but not people like Elphaba, the animals, or other oppressed groups in Oz like the Munchkins. People, to the Wizard, are those at the top of the social hierarchy, who conform to his standard of acceptability. It's these people who he wants to comfort, by suppressing the narratives of others. Similarly, in Florida, "Critical Race Theory" has been mischaracterized and painted as a threat to white comfort. While CRT is not taught in grade school and is only taught in certain college classes, the Florida government portrays anything that teaches about systemic racism and injustice to be a threat to white security. Controlling the historical narrative, particularly in schools, is an attempt to secure power and prevent people from being educated on historical nuance, especially as this nuance becomes more and more publicly relevant. By presenting an uncomplicated narrative in which he is the hero and people don't have to confront their complicity, Wicked's Wizard is "wonderful," deified and respected by those whose ignorance leads them to want to persecute anyone different.

"No Good Deed" is an interesting number, because it's here that we see Elphaba's morality challenged. She has been trying to be "good" all her life, but every instance of her trying to help people leads her further and further into persecution. It's here that she begins to conform to society's view of her as the "wicked witch," and in a way, we see parallels to her and Doctor Dillamond being silenced. By becoming "wicked," Elphaba becomes what society expects from her, because "wicked witch" is the only role acceptable for her in Oz. She has an interesting line in this song- "was I really seeking good/or just seeking attention?/if that's all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye(...)/maybe that's the reason why/no good deed goes unpunished." This line shatters whatever illusion Elphaba had as to the binary of "good" and "evil," as she doubts the motivations behind her attempts at goodness. She confronts an uncomfortable dilemma about her activism, the possibility that it could have all been to raise her image in the eyes of the public and uplift only herself, making her complicit in the system she has been trying to fight against by looking for the appeasement of Oz's society, now attempting to satisfy their expectations by becoming the Witch. Personally, I think that while Elphaba's activism and desire to "do good" may have stemmed from a desire to uplift herself, much of the time, it put her at odds with society, especially when it comes to helping the animals. Elphaba is seeking good, but her idea of "good" challenges the social hierarchy, leading her to be antagonized.

The second time I cried watching Wicked was during "For Good." Elphaba is being hunted down by a mob, and Glinda, feeling truly guilty for her actions, comes to apologize. Elphaba feels that all her attempts of "making good" have been fruitless, but Glinda, remorseful and now wiser, is committed to helping realize Elphaba's visions. As Elphaba, in a demonized position, cannot realize the social change she seeks to accomplish, she gives the Grimmerie to Glinda, saying she'll have to learn to read it. Both friends confess that they have been "changed for good" due to the other's influence, "for good" having another double meaning here.

Everything Elphaba has strived for has seemed fruitless, but now with Glinda's help, she can finally accomplish her goals. Her activism may not have been able to sway the public's opinion, but it has been able to influence Glinda, a powerful public figure adored by Oz. Despite everything, being a friend to Glinda was enough to make a difference. Elphaba will never receive recognition for what she did, but her actions still made a positive change.

This is what got to me- the idea that being compassionate and a supportive friend still has the ability to influence people "for good." When I saw this being sung on stage, I was reminded of how, like Elphaba, I often felt "limited" in what I want to see accomplished, and can't do on my own. But also like Elphaba, I recognized that just by being a friend and committed to my morals, I have done my best to be encouraging to people who need it, provided a safe space for people seeking acceptance, challenged harmful systems through confronting them and having conversations, and ultimately have been changed myself for the better. What you do matters, even if it seems insignificant. You may never know how many lives you'll touch in your lifetime, how many people who you'll change by being compassionate, to what lengths your efforts will go. Just by being kind and accepting, you have power to challenge ignorance and hatred, and to improve people's lives. When Elphaba and Fiyero flee Oz at the end of Wicked, they'll never get to see Glinda's committal to truly "making good," and Elphaba is still considered a villain, but now with Glinda's help, her actions weren't in vain. And through learning to read the Grimmerie, Glinda rejects "dancing through life" and must take on self-education in order to be a true force for good. And when she does, Chistery, the flying monkey Elphaba saved, speaks to her. He doesn't say much, but this moment is still significant- with Glinda's committal to Elphaba's causes, animals no longer have to be afraid to speak in Oz.

The powerlessness I have felt, and still often feel, as everything gets worse and worse in Florida is discouraging. Making a positive social change in a place where, like in Wicked, education, historical truth, and marginalized people are all under attack feels impossible, and yet Wicked shows us that whatever you do, whatever I have done, to "make good" still matters. I may not be able to undo everything that's happening on my own, and even though I may be "limited," I'm not powerless.

While we might not be magical witches, none of us are powerless. We all have the ability to change for good, and to change others for good, even if we may not recognize it happening. Your actions do matter, and "making good" will always be worth it.

#wicked #wicked musical #florida #florida politics #musical theatre #activism #theatre #elphaba #wizard of oz #musicals #broadway

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mackjlee9 · 2 years

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Lee, honey. Listen, bub. The pictures you took are not disgusting. I know it’s not easy to be nice to yourself when everyone else has been so mean to you and you have heard it so much that you start to believe it, but trust me. You are a very beautiful person. In the pictures. You took look absolutely fine. Don’t let anybody ever tell you that you look disgusting or ugly because that’s not true. Look at the sheer amount of symptoms you gained after doing a partial face review. People wouldn’t be here if they thought you were ugly.

I’m seriously gonna make you pull up to a Denny’s parking lot and fight you. You are one of the most beautiful boys I know personally, and I want you to know that. No matter what you think about yourself, as Ethan told me, people see you differently than you see her self. We are see you as a beautiful boy, who has gone through so much, but has persevered through it all. I know my little speech isn’t going to magically make you start loving the way you look, but I want you to consider that. So many people call you cute or hot on a daily basis, and your personality is bright, bubbly, and funny. What about you is disgusting? Absolutely nothing.

I know this rant came out of nowhere, but I saw the post where you scratched out the word disgusting. And I didn’t like that very much. Of course, this probably didn’t help because I suck so much at comforting people, but I hope you get my message. You are absolutely gorgeous and the pictures you took were absolutely fine. Don’t make me come to Argentina and aggressively cuddle you until you realize just how beautiful you are.

*aggressively sobbing and tearing up*

I didn't see this before, 'cause I legit had to turn off my phone and calm down with all the messages I got, so now, coming back and seeing this made me so emotional 😭😭

#.seokie 💞

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doebt · 3 years

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omg its like crazy how rough these past few days have been or like past week...Like what is this...and i have to potentially get my tooth pulled in a few days...well really idk what theyre gonna do...its gonna suck though

#its so hardi thought going to kaylas for a couple days wou.#oops #would like make me feel better but honestly just made me feel worse #she didnt even say bye to me today when i left TBH she didnt get all the stuff she needed at the pet store #so she was like 'yeah im just gonna pick the rest up at petco you guys can go ahead and leave'#LIKE LITERALLY SAID THAT to me and her mom and left w her bf #I dont get it if you dont wanna hang out w me then DONT INVITE ME... <- not being like snarky like seriously #like yeah its not like i have anything better to do but its also not like i want to ride 2hrs to hang w her only to be #dismissed like that :sob: it doesnt matter though it DOESNT MATTER #i miss like in highschool hanging out w people and coming home and getting a message like 'it was so nice to hang out!!! lets do it again #soon' or whatever #which hapens online but it hits different irl #Like i feel so stupid not to mention the whole hashtag playing the ugly friend thing. Like i dont know what to do w my self #like i feel so worthlessss #not to mention like my grandad and the dementia thing and my dad being mad at me thing and just the dysfunctional like #miserable way things are at home...OMG...feel like such a hugeeee burden anywhere i go and whoever im with

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emmyhem · 3 years

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everything you’re missing (c.t.h)

a/n: hi everybody, i’m back with another post. this is my first calum piece and i’m so excited to finally get it up. this is once again unedited, i’m way too tired rn. it’s also the second smut i’ve posted so that’s pretty exciting as well. yeah i don’t really have much to say right now because i’m literally exhausted, my classes are really kicking my ass. anyway i hope you all enjoy this bff!calum piece. feedback and comments are always appreciated. hope you all are doing well and are being safe. thank you - emmy <33

pairing: bff!calum hood x fem!reader

summary: a drunken text meant for your ex shows up on calum’s phone and leaves him questioning everything he’s missing out on with his best friend.

warning(s): talk of a previous bad relationship, y/n’s ex body shamed her, mentions of alcohol, insecurity, smut, cursing

word count: 4.7k

You’ve decided that 3 glasses of wine is your happy medium, but even a sip into the 4th and there’s no telling what you’ll do.

So, naturally you were finishing up your 5th glass on Friday night while angrily scrolling through your exes instagram when you got what seemed to be an incredible idea. It was simply too tempting not to, your mind was feeling hazy which made your confidence skyrocket, and you truly did just look good.

A day of pampering had left you in a black floor length silk robe with nothing but your favorite deep cherry red lingerie set underneath. Your face was bare and glowing after a refreshing and illuminating face mask, and your lips were left glossy and plump from a new scrub.

You had posed in front of the floor length mirror in your living room, giggling between snaps until you had taken the perfect shot. It was classy but provocative, the dressing gown slipping from your shoulders exposing the lace of your bra and a tasteful amount of cleavage. You had also left the bottom open, allowing a clear shot of your thighs and the curve of your ass from where you sat on your knees.

With a mischievous glint in your eyes you selected the picture into a message, typing a cheeky, “take a good look at everything you’re missing” and sending it off to your ex (or so you thought).

But you really couldn’t be blamed for your mistake, Cam and Cal were far too similar for your drunk brain to decipher the difference. You also couldn’t be blamed for the fact that you dozed off on the couch immediately after sending it, before you even had a chance to recognize your humiliating mistake.

You were awoken by the ringing of your phone at around 9:00 am, way too early for your liking. Before even registering who it was, you brought the phone to your ear and groaned a sleepy, “hello,”

“At your door.” a voice you recognized as your best friend responded.

“M’coming” you said, scooting off the couch. On your way to the door you registered that you were still scantily covered, the robe falling off of you as you walked. You clutched it around you as you swung the door open to a wide eyed, Calum Hood.

“G’morning.” he smirked, looking you up and down.

“Shh” you hushed, pulling him in by the arm. “Why in the world are you here so early?”

He lightly laughed while taking a seat at the kitchen table, eyes following you while you moped over to the fridge and pulled out two water bottles.

“Well,” he sighed as you handed him one. “I got a very interesting text last night and I figured I just had to come over and see, y’know everything I was missing.” he spoke in a teasing tone as he gestured a hand down your body.

You tugged your eyebrows together in confusion. There was something familiar about what he was saying, but not familiar enough for you to put the pieces together.

“What are you talking about?” you questioned bringing the water bottle to your lips.

Calum shrugged his shoulders, a smirk still glued to his face as he took out his phone and began looking for something. After a few seconds he extended his arm to hand you his phone. You accepted it and glanced down absentmindedly as your body slumped against the counter.

The second your eyes hit the screen it all came back to you, your mouth fell open and you straightened out, suddenly very awake, not to mention very mortified.

Calum on the other hand was buzzing. Actually, he had been ever since his phone dinged last night awakening him from his sleep. Well, buzzing and extremely, extremely sexually frustrated.

When he first opened your message and saw the picture that would now be making a regular appearance in his wet dreams, he had nearly choked on his own breath. He knew that it was most likely a drunken mistake, and while that slightly saddened him it didn’t stop his dick from plumping up at the sight, straining uncomfortably against his boxers. He seriously debated wanking to the tempting image but decided against it, thinking it would be a gross violation of your privacy since it wasn’t even meant for him. Oh how he wished it was. Unfortunately that meant he had been sporting an exceptionally sensitive halfie since then.

“Oh my god.” you groaned, sitting the phone down on the counter and covering your eyes in humiliation. “Cal I’m soooo sorry, I was drunk, and overly confident, and I meant to send this to Cam and now I’m just, I’m sorry.” you reiterated.

‘Hey, don’t apologize on my account.” he countered. “Plus, you should be thrilled you sent it to me and not that asshole, doesn’t deserve ya.”

“I know, you’re right. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m mortified though. S’bit ridiculous, get a little alcohol in my system and I have a god complex all of a sudden” you rambled, running your hands through your hair nervously.

Calum stood and pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“You think too much, y’know that?” he quipped.

You turned your head, pressing a cheek against his sweater clad chest and mumbled, “Yea I’ve been known for that.”

Calum softly chuckled at your words before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head and pulling apart.

“S’really no big deal, y/n.” a teasing grin plastered on his face. “Besides I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Calum!” you scolded, swatting a hand at his arm.

He dodged your hit just in time and held his hands up in surrender before taking his seat again.

“Why'd you let that dick bother you anyway? Y’know you’re way out of his league.”

Your jaw clenched at the question, your mind wandering to every time you had come to Calum crying after your ex had done something to hurt you. Everytime he commented on your “stomach pudge” as he liked to call it, when you wore a tight dress to go out. Or when he would ask if you were really “that” hungry, even if you hadn’t eaten much at all. And each time you would feel absolutely wretched and end up sobbing in Calum’s arms, but refusing to tell him why you were so, so sad.

“He texted me the other day y’know?” you muttered under your breath, while fiddling with the coffee machine.

“Really? What’d he say?” Calum responded, watching your back with narrowed eyes.

“Uh, he saw me the other night, when we were at that bar with the guys.” you said, shaky fingers pulling out a mug.

“And?” he spoke flatly.

“It’s stupid really,” you sniffled, willing your voice not to break. “He said I put on a few pounds, that he was glad he got out when he did.” your bottom lip traitorously jutted out as you turned to face him.

“Fucking dick.” he hissed.

Calum wasn’t necessarily proud of the violent images that flashed through his mind at the thought of that asshole finding yet another way to hurt you but, the sad little quiver of your lip allowed him to reason without a doubt that they were fair.

Before you could even blink he was holding you again, arms impossibly tight around you. .

“He’s wrong, y/n. Fuck, I don’t know how to even...he’s just so wrong.” he said softly, his hand rubbing your back reassuringly.

“I know.” you whimpered, holding tears back.

He pulled back enough to look you in the eyes, arms still firm around your waist.

“No you don’t. It’s...It really fucking pisses me off that he makes you feel like this. It’s like-fuck you’re just like-” he moved his hands to cup your cheeks. “You really are gorgeous.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, and your whole body felt warm as you stared at his big brown eyes. His words felt sincere, everything about him felt so sincere.

“Thank you, Cal.”

He pulled you back into his chest, “Really wish I could just, like hug away all his bullshit.”

“M’used to it.” you mumbled.

“You don’t deserve any of it.”

“Yea, well what can you do.” you sighed, moving out of his embrace.

Calum’s eyes were still glued to you as you stirred a spoonful of sugar in your coffee.

“I hope you don’t let anything he says get to you.”

You let out a breath of exhaustion.

Confidence wasn’t something that you used to struggle with. I mean sure, there were spouts of insecurity here and there but you knew your worth, and you considered yourself pretty, hot even. That had all changed a few months into your latest relationship. First it was the backhanded compliments which quickly turned into passive comments, and then outright cruel insults. People really underestimate the toll their words take on others, especially when the person that’s making you feel so ugly and worthless, is one that you adore and who’s supposed to adore you right back, no matter what.

“I try but, he can’t just be making it all up.” you were ashamed. When did you become the girl that lets a guy affect how she sees herself? That just wasn’t you.

“He is. He’s insecure and a douche. He was probably trying to destroy your confidence to the point that you felt like you couldn’t leave him.” Calum assured. “But you’re way too strong for him, dumped his sorry ass anyway.”

You smiled gratefully at his words, taking a seat next to him.

“Yea, so strong I tried to send him half naked pictures for reassurance.”

Calum shook his head, “I wish you could see how hot you are.”

Your eyes widened at the compliment, your head dropping to avoid his stare as blood rushed to your cheeks.

“I’d be happy to reassure you whenever you want.” he continued, bumping his knee against yours under the table.

“Doesn’t count.” you dismissed, before sipping your coffee. “You're my best friend, you’re obligated to tell me I’m pretty.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.” he muttered back quietly, his expression dropping slightly. He hated when you deflected his compliments. All he ever wanted to do was make you feel good, and you made it very difficult for him when you blocked every swing he took at the wall of insecurity that Cam had built around you. He would kill Cam if he could.

You let out an apologetic sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder.

“M’sorry, you’re right. I love you for that, the only thing keeping me sane.”

Your heart squeezed as he hugged you back.

Calum was perfect, he was sweet, and funny, and quite literally your favorite person on earth. Not to mention you had been hopelessly in love with him since practically the beginning of your friendship. But as his best friend you had heard over and over just how uninterested he was in a relationship. Everytime you would ask about his love life he would just respond,

“I’m just not the boyfriend type, m’not cut out for it.” shrugging nonchalantly.

Which you thought was laughable because anyone would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend, in fact sometimes you would let yourself pretend he was yours.

Like,in a busy club with his hands on your hips, guiding you through the crowds. So close behind, you could feel each exhale on the back of your neck, as his eyes darted around the room to ensure there weren’t any potential threats to your safety, in the form of drunk overzealous flirts. Or after a night out when he got cuddly and clingy, and would find his way from the couch into your bed. You’d wake up with his cheek pressed against your chest and his arms snaked around your torso as he released soft breaths that caused goosebumps to rise on your exposed skin. You’d let yourself imagine that you had this every morning and that he would wake up any minute to smother your face in kisses and tell you he loved you. And of course, here he was again this morning being so thoughtful and kind and everything you wanted in a boyfriend. And here you were again swimming in his praises and physically having to restrain yourself from kissing him.

Begrudgingly, you pulled away and stood up.

“Gonna get changed.” you spoke.

“I’m making us breakfast.” Calum called as you walked away. You hummed in response and slipped into your room.

Once in the privacy of your own room you quickly pulled on a pair of leggings and a hoodie before scurrying to the bathroom sink and splashing cold water on your face in hopes of ridding yourself of any romantic thoughts towards your best friend.

Although you weren’t aware, Calum was doing the very same thing just a few feet away. Internally reminding himself repeatedly that it was never gonna happen with you. He wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s boyfriend, let alone yours. You didn’t want him that way and he could almost trick himself into believing that he was okay with that.

You hastily finished brushing your teeth before returning to the kitchen. You were greeted with the sight of Calum’s back, he stood over the toaster cutting an avocado and humming a song you didn’t recognize quietly to himself. He looked over his shoulder as your footsteps approached.

“Hungry?” he questioned.

“You have no idea.” you affirmed, as he fixed a plate for you both.

“Good. I was thinking we could watch something while we eat,”

“Fine with me.” you responded, hoping he wouldn’t notice the distraction laced in your voice. Your focus had easily been stolen from the conversation to how easy it was to see his back muscles flex through the thin material of his jumper.

But of course he did, it was Calum after all.

“Y’alright?” he said, handing you a plate.

“Uh, yep.” you rushed out.

“Not still thinking about Cam, are you?”

“No, not at all.” you answered honestly, walking to the couch, Calum trailing closely behind you.

“Then what’s got you all flustered?”

“You” you thought, taking a seat in the furthest corner.

“I’m not flustered.”

“Bullshit” he countered, sitting practically on top of you.

You let out a huff, and motioned to the other completely empty side of the couch.

“Is there a reason we aren’t practicing personal space right now?”

He laughed softly at your question and nuzzled closer into your side.

“Yea, you’re all pouty, looks like you need a cuddle.”

“I’m really fine Cal.” you shoved him lightly but saw no results, he just scooched in even closer and bit into his toast.

The two of you sat in silence while some newly released action movie played on your TV. Calum’s arm was wrapped around your shoulders keeping you tight to his side, and although you could’ve sworn that you had been in this exact same position hundreds of times, you felt as if this were the very first time. Every single one of your nerves were on fire and the warmth that had flooded your body was making you antsy.

Feeling overwhelmed by your senses, you allowed your eyes to flutter close with a deep inhale.

“You okay?” Calum whispered, dipping his head down slightly to reach your ear.

You opened your mouth to respond but didn’t trust your voice to protrude through your shaky exhales, settling for a subdued nod instead.

“You sure?” his words were long and drawled out, despite your eyes being closed you knew his proximity from the feeling of his breath just behind your ear.

Before you could speak up his hand secured itself just above your knee, and your muscles flexed involuntarily at the contact.

“Relax, y/n” he continued, his thumb beginning to run repeatedly over a spot on your inner knee.

Everything in your brain was screaming at you to excuse yourself, maybe even kick him out, anything to gain some space and hopefully some clarity from the cloud of sexual tension that was looming over the two of you and blurring boundaries at lightning speed. But you were essentially frozen in place, petrified that any movement would alert Calum to the way he was affecting you.

Your head lolled back to rest on his forearm which was lying behind you on the couch and finally peeled your eyes open, staring up at the ceiling.

He watched you from the corner of his eye, taking note of every rise and fall of your chest, every thick swallow of your throat.

If there was one thing Calum was well versed in, it was his ability to read you, he liked to think he knew you better than anyone else in the world. He could tell exactly how you were feeling just by watching you, your face, your breathing and he was more than shocked when he started getting the feeling you were no longer upset but something far more appealing.

Were you turned on? Right here in his presence? The thought made blood rush to his dick, which twitched in his pants when another breathy sigh passed your lips.

“What’re you thinking about, love?”

Everything in you urged you to answer honestly, just tell him the truth. “You, I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.” But you couldn’t do that, so instead you deflected.

“What’re you thinking about?” you countered, meeting his eyes.

Calum questioned his next words very carefully, debating whether or not he could recover if he was wrong about what you were feeling and you shut him down. It was pointless though, he knew he would never recover from your rejection. He also knew that spontaneous combustion wouldn’t look very good on his tombstone and that’s exactly what would happen if he spent one more minute not kissing you.

Fuck it.

“That pretty little set you had on last night.” he confessed.

That you weren’t expecting.

A quiet whine rang from your throat and you were far too affected to feel embarrassed.

And that did it, Calum was now impossibly hard in his pants, no doubt leaking precum onto his boxer briefs. He needed to get his hands on you, now.

His hand started to slowly travel up your thigh, goosebumps rising on every centimeter they passed.

“So gorgeous in red, aren’t ya y/n?”

“Cal,” you hissed when his thumb brushed the sensitivity of your inner thigh.

“Mm.” he hummed. “It’d be pretty hard fo’me to stop right now, but I will if that’s what you want. Is that what you want, love?”

He was sure he’d cry if he had to let go of you now, but he needed to hear you say it.

“No, don’t wanna stop.” you whined, turning your body flush to his.

“Whaddya want then, baby? Hm?” You could feel his every word on the flushed skin of your neck as he leaned into the crook.

“Want you.”

He could’ve came then and there.

“Then I’m all yours.” he admitted before crashing his lips on yours.

Your heart was in your stomach as his tongue entered your mouth, explorative and eager. He was too busy memorizing your taste to notice your fingers tugging at his sweater. You attempted to push it up desperate to feel his skin under your hands. You were able to pull the fabric up about halfway before they were blocked by his arms that were holding you close against him.

Calum laughed when you pulled apart from the kiss, giving him a disappointed look.

“Want it off?” he teased.

You couldn’t bother to be embarrassed when you nodded eagerly in response. He didn’t waste any time peeling the fabric off of his skin, and you were quick to lightly run a finger across the ink feather just below his collarbone.

Now it was his turn to tug on your clothes, “Level the playing field?”

You nodded, lifting your arms and allowing him to lift the sweatshirt over your head leaving your chest completely bare. Calum groaned at the sight of your tits, his hands quickly finding your waist and tugging you down to lay on your back in one swift motion.

Once you were laid out in front of him he took the opportunity to explore the new skin. His hands left a lingering warmth as they dragged across your stomach and despite the kind words and endearing demeanor that he always upheld with you, you found yourself shying under his gaze, wanting to curl away from him. As your hands began to wrap around your stomach in an attempt to cover yourself up he quickly pushed them away, locking them in place on either side of you.

“Wanna see everything baby, all of you.” he cooed in your ear before nipping at the lobe.

His kisses began to travel down your neck, sucking a few marks to your collar bones and the surrounding areas. When his fingers grazed over a fresh bruise in the dip just between your neck and shoulders you hissed lightly.

“You look so pretty marked up for me. All mine, aren’t you baby? Not Cam’s, mine. Say it.”

“Yours, Cal.” you admitted, feeling your body sink further into the couch. You had never felt drunk off of someone’s words before and the experience was leaving you sputtering, completely compliant to your best friend.

He hummed contently at your confession, his large hands gripping at your hips, before slowly peeling your leggings off.

“Y’feel so good in my hands, like you were made for me.�� his thumbs poking at the soft skin, just beneath your panties.

The feeling of his hands so close to where you needed them, but not quite there was driving you crazy.

“Cal, please.” you begged.

He groaned before tugging at the cotton covering you. “Cam’s a fucking idiot, y’know that? He had the prettiest girl in the world and treated her like shit. I’d never do that, wanna worship you baby.”

It was ridiculous how overwhelmed his words were leaving you, all desperate and squirming. As his fingers met the soaked expanse of your cunt you couldn’t hold back the throaty moan it elicited.

A pornographic sigh followed close behind, one that made Calum want to pinch himself to ensure he wasn’t in the midst of a haunting dream.

“Soaked f’me darling.” he mused, running his fingers up and down your folds to completely coat you in your arousal. You whimpered at the feeling, bucking your hips up desperate for friction.

Tutting while shaking his head, he used one hand on your lower stomach to press you back down to the couch.

“Stay still for me won’t you, love?” he cooed, continuing to run his fingers over your core lightly.

When you bobbed your head up and down in agreement he lifted your leg to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your calf.

“Hm, good girl.” he praised, softly laying your leg back down.

Calum hovered above you, dipping his head down every so often to peck at your chest, his fingers still unrelenting. The knot in your lower stomach tightened every second that passed and you felt like you could scream at any second, yearning to be full.

Calum felt like he could burst any minute himself but was determined to make this experience the best of your life. He wanted to give you something to remember, a reason to want more.

Your soft moans and frustrated grunts alerted him to your neediness and he was just about ready to give in for the both of you.

“What do you need from me, baby?” he said against your shoulder before peppering kisses across your collar bones.

You could only respond with an airy moan when his fingers found your clit.

“Hm? My fingers?” You shook your head aggressively. He knew exactly what you wanted, the tease.

“No? Want my mouth?” he teased further, leaving an opened mouth kiss in between your tits.

“Cal,” you sighed. “Fuck me, please.”

He groaned at your words, nipping lightly at the skin before ridding himself of his pants.

“You’re a fucking dream, y’know that?” he praised, desperately searching for a condom in his pants. When he finally located one he held it up to you as if it were a prized possession, smiling proudly at his own preparedness.

He hastily freed himself from the constraints of his boxers and rolled the condom on, never once taking his eyes off of the blissful expression on your face.

“Ready?” he questioned, his tip lightly pressing at your entrance. You nodded and sucked in a breath, bracing yourself for the stretch, your eyes falling closed in the process.

When a few seconds went by and nothing happened you opened your eyes to find Calum staring down at you in awe.

“Cal,” you whined. “what’re you doing?”

Your words seemed to break him from his trance, he shook his head and muttered an apology to you.

“Sorry, fuck you’re pretty. You’ve got no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

“Then stop waiti-” your words were cut off by a sharp hiss that couldn’t have been prevented as his length finally pressed into you.

“Fuck.” Calum groaned his head falling back. You felt too good around him, seriously he was fucked, completely ruined for you.

You felt the exact same as your silky moans filled the room. You had never been filled this good and you questioned how you had gone so long without this.

“M-move” you sighed, clenching around him.

You could hear his breath catch at the feeling and he grunted out a strained, “Need a minute.”

He held himself in place for a few more seconds until his breaths began to even out once again before pulling nearly all the way out and slamming back in.

You yelped, pulling your lip between your teeth in hopes to drown the sound.

He continued slamming into you at an unrelenting pace, taking notice of each time your eyes would roll back when he brushed against your g-spot. He could write a book about how good you looked all fucked for him.

As his thrusts grew closer together you could feel your release creeping up on you.

“Cal, need’ta cum.” you stuttered out.

His hands tightened around your hips, pulling you even closer to him as his head poked at that spot again.

“Go on baby, let go.” he encouraged, willing himself to hold out a little longer as your walls fluttered around him.

Once you had came it only took him about three more thrusts before he was painting the condom with his release, groaning your name as his hand searched for yours to intertwine them as he came down from his own high.

His body flopped next to yours on the couch, both of you struggling to fit next to each other in such a small space, not that either of you minded the close quarters.

Your fingers remained laced together as you caught your breath, Calum peppering kisses to your shoulder and mumbling praises into your skin.

“You’re an angel. God, I just- I love you.” he said, causing your head to snap in his direction.

He looked like a deer in headlights when you asked for him to repeat himself.

“I love you?” he obliged.

“Is it a question?”

“No, I’m just not used to saying it.” he admitted, vulnerability clear in his eyes.

You wanted to kiss away the worried crease in his forehead but instead pressed your lips to his, pulling apart a fraction of an inch to speak after a few seconds.

“I love you too.” you ensured.

Calum eyes widened, not expecting you to say it back, at least not so soon. He had so much he wanted to say to you but figured all of it could be summed up by another kiss to your soft lips. So he closed the distance once again, using a bit more force this time in hopes it would convey the strength of his feelings for you.

2K notes · View notes

eternally-writing · 3 years

Text

helping hands | jjk

genre: fluff and angst

rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)

pairing: Jungkook x reader

theme: parent!au, idol!au, husband!au, one-shot

word count: 3k

warnings: none

synopsis: Parenting in general? Hard. Parenting while your husband Jungkook is away on tour? Extra hard.

special thank you to @justasparkwritings for beta reading this and @moccahobi for helping me with the title!

banner by me!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

It had been 2 weeks since Jungkook had left on tour. You would think that after being in the industry for 10 years he would have a little more leniency with his schedule, but even after the birth of your little girl, Jungkook couldn’t seem to get out of a 3 week tour around Japan and Korea.

It seemed like the Earth was weeping with you today as the rain battered against your window while you made what seemed like your 15th cup of coffee for the day. Your daughter Gidae was for once not crying - and you were eternally grateful since it gave you time to change out of your puke-covered shirt and close your eyes for 5 seconds... as if that was any replacement for the lack of sleep you’ve encountered.

All your friends whose husbands were busy idols or businessmen gave you the advice that “everything falls into place over time when you’re parenting on your own”. That it just magically happened. You’re not sure what memo you missed, or if there’s some book you forgot to read, or if worst of all, you lacked some parental intuition that everyone else possessed. Jungkook had left 13 days ago, and nothing had fallen into place.

Between Gidae being up all night every night, the pile of puke covered laundry sitting in a pile in the corner of your room, the dirty dishes in the sink that had accumulated to the point that you were eating your microwave meals with plastic cutlery, you definitely felt like a failure.

And probably the worst part of it all was that Jungkook wasn’t here to help you. This wasn’t the first time Jungkook left on tour while you two have been together, but it was the first time he had left you since Gidae had been born. The first time he had left you, a first time mother, alone with your child for an extended period of time. The first time you needed help and couldn’t ask him for it.

As if on command, while you were bracing yourself on the counter in exhaustion, your phone began to ring.

Incoming call: hubby kook ♡

As you pressed “accept call”, you could immediately heard the hustle and bustle of the backstage crowd. Too tired to be the first to say hello, you waited to see how long it would take for him to realize you were on the other line.

“Hey Y/N, just checking in before the show! How are things?” cheered Jungkook.

You could imagine what Jungkook looked like as he talked to you: already dressed in his first stage outfit, a makeup artist blotting away at the nervous sweat on his forehead, him grinning ear to ear with his hyungs and bursting with excitement for performing.

On a normal day, if you had maybe actually gotten some sleep or eaten at least one meal that didn’t come out of your freezer in the past week, you probably could have mustered a convincing “good! How’s the show going?” But you were on your last straw, and it was already giving way.

“Bad Jungkook. It’s bad. I haven’t slept at all for as long as I can remember. I have no clean clothes or clean dishes, I haven’t showered since you left so I smell like a pungent mixture of puke, sweat, and god knows what else, and Gidae misses you and won’t stop crying.So yes, it’s horrible without you here.”

You knew that wasn’t what Jungkook expected to hear,the sharp intake of breath on his side serving as a telltale sign you had caught him off guard.

“Baby I-, I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

You couldn’t stop your voice from cracking as you continued. Your chest was tightening, feelings bubbling over.

“It’s -“ you paused to take a breath. “It’s really hard without you Jungkook. Really really hard.”

Jungkook tried his best to piece together the words over the phone, but you could already hear the speakers in the background calling for Jungkook to head to his position for the start of the show.

“Y/N I-“

“You have to go Jungkook, I know. Bye.”

You didn’t give him a second to recuperate as you ended the call.

No parenting book ever provided you with advice on this. The loneliness, helplessness, and frustration you were feeling right now. Crumpling down to the kitchen floor, you felt like the world was collapsing around you as you sobbed.

As if on cue, Gidae’s cries joined yours from the other room.

--♡--

You woke up slouched in a rocking chair in the nursery, with your hand reaching down to touch your daughter’s in her crib. She seemed to show you some leniency by sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, but unsure of how much free time she’d give you, you figured you might as well get a head start of the day since you felt like you were miserably falling behind already.

While mixing some formula in your kitchen, you heard a knock on your front door. The only people who ever came over were the boys and a couple of your friends, and you definitely weren’t expecting any visitors at 8am.

Frying pan clutched in your hand (safety first, right?), you creaked open your door to see a small woman standing in front of you.

With a cheery smile painting her face, the lady began to speak.

“Mrs. Jeon, I’m Seokjin-ssi’s nanny. I’ve been sent here today to take care of Gidae. Here’s a note from Mr. Jeon.”

You couldn’t help the smile that decorated your face after reading it. After so many years together, Jungkook still managed to surprise you. Taking in that there was now a woman in your house who was basically Supernanny here to help you, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

When Jungkook said that you were going to be pampered today, he sure meant it. By a “car” being outside, he actually meant a glorious Porsche with a driver and all your favorite snacks tucked in the backseat. He had booked an entire spa day just for you to get whatever treatments you needed without having to deal with the hustle and bustle of anyone else being around. Simply being in an environment that didn’t always sound like crying and children’s TV shows felt like heaven. A schedule had been waiting when you arrived, including a built in “nap” (multiple hours is just sleep, right?) in one of their private suits and lunch with none other than your best friend. It was the best surprise, and the girl talk you shared was exactly what you needed. Of course the mom guilt crept in, but whenever it did you reminded yourself of Jungkook’s words - you needed this, and only once you take care of yourself will you really be able to take care of your daughter.

You weren’t sure if it was because of the hydrating face mask or the 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep that you were able to get, but you walked into your house with a new pep in your step thanks to the relaxing day that Jungkook planned for you.

Welcomed by Ms. Yeong wearing an apron and bustling around your kitchen, you smelled freshly baked cookies (chocolate chip, your favorite too) and were thrilled at the sight of a clean house in front of you.

Wiping her hands on her apron, she began to speak with that signature smile.

“I’ve cooked dinner for you tonight and also have meals for the next 3 days in the fridge. The dishes are all done and your laundry should all be folded in your drawers. Gidae just had some milk and is now watching some Cocomelon.She woke up from her nap around 3 hours ago.”

In your excitement you couldn’t help giving her the biggest hug, squeezing her tightly. Slowly, Ms.Yeong began to pat your back, unclear about whether this hug was really for you or for her.

“I’m just doing my job Mrs. Jeon.”

You pulled away to look sincerely into her eyes.

“You are seriously a lifesaver Ms.Yeong, I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

After patting your back again, it was her turn to be sincere.

“You’re a good mother, Mrs. Jeon. I know it may not feel like it sometimes, but you really are. Gidae is lucky to have you as a mom.”

Tears began to prick at your eyes, but unlike yesterday, these were happy tears. With all the failures that you had felt in the past two weeks, it meant everything to hear those words from someone, to get some confirmation that you weren’t completely messing things up.

Unable to make any words come out of your mouth, all you could do was nod in appreciation at what she was able to do for you today. Your eyes glimmering with unshed tears said all the words that Ms.Yeong needed to hear.

As she walked out the door, you made a mental note to message Seokjin and thank him for finding the angel on Earth who saved you today.

--♡--

Picking up your daughter from her crib, you cooed and brought her to you. Settling into your rocking chair, you cradled her gently in her arms.

“Mommy missed you today, babygirl, and I know you miss daddy.”

At the mention of the word “daddy” you could see your daughter perk up, looking around and trying to find said male.

All you could do is kiss her forehead. “I miss your daddy too. He’s really amazing, yknow.”

“Amazing, really? I may have said handsome, or sexy, or...”

Your head whipped around to the source of the sound.

And there he was, in the flesh. Jeon Jungkook, the man you had been waiting to see for days on end, was standing right at the door.

“Hi my love,” he said with his silly grin.

Your heart felt like it was bursting as you saw him there, and you couldn’t help but start sobbing your heart out (and I mean ugly sobbing). You felt a waterfall of emotions seeing Jungkook so close.

“Hey hey hey, what’s with this crying? I came home because I didn’t want you to be crying anymore baby.”

Walking over to you, he crouched in front of your chair and started to wipe your tears. Cupping your face in his hands, he pressed his forehead against you.

“I missed you Y/N. I missed you so much.”

You were still reeling from Jungkook’s presence.

“You have no idea how much I’ve dreamed about this Kook. I feel like I’m dreaming.”

Jungkook pressed a short kiss on your lips.

“Well believe it, I’m here for real babe,” he said sentimentally as he peppered your face with kisses.

Picking your daughter out of your grasp, Jungkook lifted Gidae into his hold, lifting her slightly into the air first to make her giggle. Putting on his best stern dad voice, he began his lecture.

“And you little miss, what is this I hear about you causing trouble for your mom?” Questioned Jungkook.

You smiled through your tears as you watched Jungkook go into “dad mode”.

“Before I left you promised you’d be a good girl, but I think good girls don’t cry all through the night and they definitely don’t make a mess with their toys or throw up all over their mommy.”

As Jungkook raised an eyebrow, your daughter looked at him, slightly apologetic, eyes shifting down to the floor, as if she could understand a word of what he said.

“But most of all Gidae, I missed you a whole lot. Your daddy missed you a whole lot.”

You felt like your heart could burst at the way Jungkook looked at your daughter. Even though he might be miles away when he works, you know that he doesn’t love you or your daughter any less.

“I’ll let you put her back to bed, daddy. It is my day off after all, right?” You joked with a chuckle.

Picking up your hand and kissing your palm, Jungkook grinned in agreement.

“Of course my love, go wash up and I’ll see you in bed.”

--♡--

After reading A Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Princess & the Pea, and Rainbow Fish, Gidae was beginning to yawn in Jungkook’s arms. It seemed that it wasn’t just Jungkook who was reluctant to let their father-daughter time come to an end, as Gidae was still fighting to keep her eyes open, and always kept one tiny fist clutched onto the middle of Jungkook’s shirt, as if she was worried he could disappear at any moment.

Wondering what was taking them so long, you peeked your head back in the doorway to watch Jungkook look at your daughter like she was the one who put the stars in the sky. Not wanting to interrupt, you stayed as silent as possible as you watched them together.

“Now I’m gonna say something very important Gidae, and you need to listen very very carefully to me.”

Bringing her up to eye level, Jungkook looked at your daughter sincerely as he continued.

“Sometimes daddy isn’t here and it’s just you and mommy, but I want you to know that daddy loves you and mommy so much, and you’re always gonna be daddy’s little girl, even if I’m not here with you. And I miss you always, so so much. Daddy loves you.”

You could see the tears start to stream down Jungkook’s face, and as much as you wanted to run to him and wipe his tears, just as he did hours earlier, you knew that this moment wasn’t for you. This was for Jungkook and Gidae, and you were sure that he was going to remember this forever.

“You know what would make me so happy Gidae? If you could say the word daddy. Come on - “da” “da”. You can do it!”

He started to bounce her on his lap, exaggerating his mouth movements so much that you were worried that he would accidentally pop his jaw out. His ministrations continued on fruitlessly, with Gidae still staring at him with big doe eyes (a trait she inherited from Jungkook, of course).

Unable to hide your presence any longer, you had to help Jungkook out. “You were only gone for 2 weeks, Kook. She’s still only 6 months old, it’s going to be a little while before she says any words.”

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. It seemed that Gidae had finally succumbed to sleep in his arms, and he stared down at her again.

“Look at how big she is Y/N, she’s grown so much just in the little while I’ve been gone.”

He looked at you with tears shimmering in his doe eyes yet again.

“Seriously, next time I leave on a tour and come back she’s going to be walking and talking or something.” joked Jungkook as he lightly wiped his tears.

You hugged Jungkook from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before resting your head on it.

“Wherever you are though babe, I’m gonna take photos and videos of all of it so you won’t miss a second of it.”

Jungkook stayed silent as he simply enjoyed having his small family together again.

“You were right earlier you know, on the phone.”

“Hmm?” You hummed in response, unsure of what he was getting at.

“This isn’t working - me leaving isn’t working. I’m not 15 years old anymore, when I could just drop everything and travel the world; I have the two most precious girls in the world with me now, and I need to take care of them.”

Putting his hand in yours, you sincerely looked him in the eye.

“We’re always going to be proud of you Koo, and you know I love watching you do what you love. This may be the hard part, once she gets a little older we could start travelling with you or you could fly back too. Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”

Jungkook kissed you passionately, hoping his lips could convey what he couldn’t seem to put into words. He repeated your words back to you.

“Whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together.”

As if Mother Nature was on your side, the rain stopped, leaving the smell of new beginnings wafting in through your window.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

If you liked what you read please interact/follow! Thank you for reading♡ - Emily

485 notes · View notes

dailytatsu · 3 years

Note

Heya! Can I request an Aether/Lumine & reader?

So reader is basically an immortal half-elf who've lived for centuries and a well refined fighter. Well at the beginning even tho they volunteered to tag along on traveler's journey to find their sibling, reader is rather obnoxious and a lazy-dork who only help when actually needed. But as the journey continues, they began to act like traveler's bodyguard after witnessing (archon quest spoiler!) traveler almost getting killed by the Shogun? And maybe random shenanigans happen between them (ft.Paimon). I don't mind if you do either Aether or Lumine if you feel pressured 🙏

Hi! This kind are my favorites! Tysm for requesting! (๑>◡<๑)

I did this with Aether since he is my favorite is who I chose, and I feel more comfortable writing with guys than with girls.

I know they have some different personalities but I can help but see Lumine as the all mighty abyss princess.

Hope you enjoy!

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Aether & Half-elf! Reader

GN! Reader

Inazuma Archon Quest Spoilers!

Request are open; sorry for any mistakes!

Genshin Impact Masterlist

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Aether always thought that immortality brought with it wisdom, beings who live for much longer than an ordinary human tend to gain an understanding of life and changes in the world after years of appreciating the passing of the ages.

But when he met you he couldn't help but feel that all his beliefs were based on fiction and old rumors from other worlds. You were anything but wise, not even his first choice to be the voice of reason.

Even Paimon takes her role as his guide seriously.

But what was so wrong about you that get him on his nerves all the time? And most important, why does is he still dealing with you?

To be fair, maybe he was waiting a little too much from you. After all, he always forget that you still have half of a human’s nature.

“Mmh? What are you doing?” You asked Aether the first time he removed your hair from your ears to see if they were pointy. They were, and Paimon yelled kind of a objection when she realize she had to pay for losing their bet.

Not a human, not a elf, but a hybrid between them.

The first encounter was really something he would never forget. Rumors about treasures and requests from the guild made them follow some clues to find a cave that was marked as lost, impossible to enter and explore.

But “impossible” is a word that doesn’t exist their vocabulary. Yet is common that regretting comes along when you’re that bold and risky.

At the very end of that strange cave there wasn’t a treasure waiting, not even a new clue to keep going with the mystery. Instead, was a humanoid silhouette, they seemed to be meditating, not showing a single interest in their voices neither getting nervous because of Aether and Paimon taking some steps forward to have a better look.

But they were breathing, and both could see the pupils moving slightly under their eyelids. Eyebrows twitching now and then, like they were having a nightmare, one of which they couldn’t wake up.

Paimon encouraged him to get even closer to shake that person's shoulder, while she was hiding behind some rocks, obviously.

Aether summoned his sword and then he approached slowly until touching them with his fingertips, waiting for some kind of jumpscare.

The stranger raised their arm, carefully but also in a robotic way. Their fingers were tense, as much that it was painful just looking at them. Like a quiet call, like a order that couldn’t be heard, from the pile of rocks where Paimon was hiding something emerge, breaking through the stone and letting a rusty polearm to be seen.

Their fingers closed around the weapon, bringing them back to reality.

“Master and weapon, reunited again, rise so the world can meet their end!”

Or at least that's what he would have preferred to find. A servant guarding a lost relic, a soulless body moving by a curse, perhaps even a fate that death could not prevent.

But instead it was something really underwhelming, something that broke the mystical and strange atmosphere. That person opened their eyes, annoyed by the light of the torches and disoriented by the situation.

With their body in pain and numb at the same time, how long have they slept in that position?

The first thing they did after waking up was sneezing.

‘So much dust…’

Never accepting missions for exploring legendary caves ever again. Nope. Negative. He refuse to.

What if they find another (Y/N)? Thanks, but no. One is more than enough.

“So what you mean is that your parents' families exiled you and locked you up in the cave for being an ‘abomination’ to both species?” Paimon confirmed once the three of you were back in the surface again. Her hands moving side to side to explain -in a very expressive way- everything you told them.

“It seems that we found the remains of an ancient race that used to exist in Teyvat.” Aether said, still surprised by the way you roamed to feel the wood of the trees and the grass under your bare feet. Kind of heartbreaking.

“Like the boar we found with Xiangling!”

He wasn’t sure if it was okay to compare both encounters but he could see her point.

“… ‘Wait for us’, they told me, ‘think about your existence and find the answer to why your conception is not the atrocity that everyone says you are. May their words not reach you, because we have long ears to hear the words of the gods and not the ones of those who defile earth’… ” You pronounced after decades of not needing to use the language you were taught, with one hand on your chin and eyes closed to concentrate. All you had left was the few memories you preserved inside your mind and heart.

“With ‘they’ you mean your parents?”

You nodded.

“And what happened next?… ” Asked back the tiny companion of the blond guy that rescued you.

“I got bored and I fell asleep.” You admitted, carefree about it, shrugging your shoulders and sighing.

A total waste of your youth.

“Eh!? Then you didn’t thought about those things? That sounded important!” Paimon seemed disappointed for your answer, while Aether held his forehead, without having a clue of how he was supposed to react.

That was the day you joined their party! New team member, (Y/N) strikes in!

Or something like that,,

“H-Hey! We could use a hand over here!… woah!” The little white girl scold you but from your high sit on the top of a big rock only a exaggerated yawning can be heard. Paimon crossed her arms to almost immediately duck down to dodge a fire bullet from the Fatui. Aether didn’t say anything, he was concentrated fighting.

“Oh, yeah… You’re doing great. Go, Aether, go…”

“Was that supposed to be a cheering?!”

“Hey, calm down” You said “He doesn’t need my help. Just take a look, he’s an adventurer. If I meddle it will be really boring for him.”

“Hmp! Now Paimon believes that you were lying when you said that you were a well refined fighter!” She was floating around you, ignoring the battle of his blond friend. Like a pesky bee, the only thing you did was avoiding her furious gaze. “Don’t ignore Paimon! How can you not hear with those ears!? That’s it! Paimon will give you a ugly nickname!”

“What about ‘extinct deaf elf-der’?”

“Yeah, that’s a good one!” She agreed immediately, then she shook her head, pointing at you like a guilty criminal. “Wait, Paimon doesn’t need your suggestions!”

When the last Fatui was defeated Aether turned back to face both of you, sighing because of the new arguing between you two. His sword disappeared and some steps were took to get closer.

Your eyes met each other, a slight smile in your face after looking him safe and sound. So confident but so unaware of the remain danger hiding. Your expression became a surprised one, then your gaze sharped like a killer sight.

You left Paimon on top of the rock when you jumped down, summoning your own weapon you ran straight to where Aether was. The traveler panicked just a fraction of second before loosing sight of you.

Next thing they know was that a you were behind him, facing at the nothing with a defensive pose, just a second of silence before a impact could be heard. Some dirt and dust was lift as the pair of Fatui Pyro Agents became visible again. They stayed there, defeated in one hit.

“Like I said. It would be pretty boring if I meddle...” Aether and Paimon were shocked, none of them felt their presence, not even the heat of the pyro delusion. Your weapon disappeared in the air, and your hands rested on your waist. “Dear Seven, that was intense.” Looking at your friends you sighed, with the laziness on your body language. “It was my turn to cook dinner, right? What a pain having to eat again… ”

Acting that relaxed after that really made them went Ô_Ô and Ö

A silent speech, where devotion and gratitude are the best topics of conversation. The message that is heard even if there’s no words in between. Just a exchange of gazes. Little signs of affection that are shown when it’s necessary.

Your family was gone. No clues about their whereabouts could’ve found in that cave of where you came. Not even the skeletons of a couple holding their hands and petrified in a sobbing position. Not even ashes.

When you have been thinking about the most unimportant things in the universe for so long you can deal with the lost faster than anyone else. Getting the idea of no remain evidence of your parents and feeling that it wasn’t that heartbreaking.

Maybe because you gained a new family almost immediately.

Still you could empathize with Aether, he still had his precious memories with his sister, still remember her face and her voice. And most important was that he knew that she was still roaming Teyvat, waiting for him.

Even if they leave behind Paimon and you at the end of the trip.

Or even if they just leave you behind.

‘I’m okay with that.’

You thought, stroking Paimon’s hair when her head found a comfortable place to rest in your lap. You thought, moving your shoulder so Aether wouldn’t have neck pain. Both sleeping peacefully and you staying awake night by night.

You’ve slept enough, for so long besides.

Somehow the flames of the campfire are warmer now that you have someone to look how the fire dance in the night.

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“I see, so you were serious when you told me that your companion was a mystical extinct creature, weren’t you?” Albedo’s hand went up to hold his chin, analyzing you from distance.

“They are half of it, actually.” Aether answered back, notice how Sucrose was asking you permission to check your features. The sparkle in her eyes made you accept her petition after feeling with the back against the wall.

“Your ears are like mine! Look, look!” Klee pulled your shirt, then she pointed at the side of her head.

“… Still the shape of both are quite different, the length too.”

Years of isolation really are hitting hard right now. You felt overwhelmed and somehow shy when Sucrose hold your face to have a better look.

You follow the traveler to everywhere, no matter the place, you were there. Like a shadow, sometimes just a spectator, other times like an actual active team member.

“Who would’ve tell that our Honorary Knight also has his own knight watching his back.” Kaeya’s voice has that joke but charming tone, as always.

Day after day, it’s the same, everyone talking you through Aether. Like some kind of translator.

“More like a human shield.” Your hand landed on top of Aether’s head, not agreeing with his explanation.

Bonk.

“I guess everything’s better than being Emergency Food.”

“Hey!”

“Haha! You three are quite a team, aren’t you?”

Of course you were. Mondstadt, Liyue, you name it. You could assure that every place in this two nations have at least one story about the team.

You knew that the most brave and magnificent outlander in Teyvat didn’t need a guardian, he can defend himself (somehow even if he’s still using that dull blade).

Bodyguarding also sounds like such a hassle…

You only provide a last resource help when was needed, sometimes also helping with some puzzles and mysteries.

The long eared people was known to be wise and smart people that searched for the full comprehension of the world. Also such a nerds and fans of knowledge. So, even if you considered yourself dumb, in your blood was the instinct of looking for the truth, and sometimes that impulse could be really annoying.

You were always near enough to reach him. Pulling his scarf from behind to move him away from danger. Countering after he gets hit.

Always in a place where you could reach him.

You just needed to extend your arm and you would catch Aether. It was always like this. Always with you jumping in the middle of the crossfire to shield them if it was necessary.

It’s always like this.

Until the day you three set a foot in Inazuma’s land. And a bad feeling of a imminent catastrophe made your shiver.

A new nation, a new problem to solve. But a war? Boldness and stupidity sometimes looks like the same thing, but no matter how many times you repeat this to Aether, he would still ran into problems.

And you would follow him, until your debt is paid, until his travel is done.

It used to be like this.

But then you failed him after being unable to move because of the fear that paralyzed your body. The day Aether faced Shogun Raiden in the ceremony. The day you heard the broken voice of a god inside the Shogun you also fell apart. It was painful, cruel, a void of anger and sadness.

Jumping into danger, without you behind.

You tried to ran between the goddess and your savior, you tried to get closer to at least be useful one last time as the shield you promised to be.

You tried.

But, for the first time, your hand didn’t reach him.

The void of despair and darkness that could be heard inside the Shogun devoured him.

The tears of panic and fear in Paimon’s eyes. The way the Shogun lifted her sword to end his life. The way you were paralyzed because of her presence, forced to be part of the crowd and presence his execution.

That day your facade of laziness faded away, the real feeling of being a knight burnt along your proud. It was so annoying, it was so unnecessary, but still you couldn’t ignore it.

“Are you… are you sure that you’re okay? We don’t have to find the Sangonomiya resistance today. If you need to rest then-” Your hands were shaking when you placed them in Aether’s shoulders, holding yourself for tearing up.

“We have to keep going. I’ll be fine.”

“Besides, if we stay near Inazuma this night they could find us! Paimon won’t be able to sleep like that!” Your mouth opened to counter their arguments, but not a single word dared to go against Aether’s plans.

They could see it in your face. The worry, the remains of shock and fear, the guilty.

“Don’t try to look strong then. If you get tired, tell us. I can carry you in my back.” Even if you were offering help your voice was serious, so cold but so hurt at the same time that nor Aether or Paimon knew what to said to bring the old you back.

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“… Aren’t you coming?” You could hear how the door was slid to let him saw you. The lighted spots on Aether’s clothes were purple, just as the lighting that almost end him. Your lips made a concerned and stressed grimace.

The young traveler took a seat next to you, outside the structure, sitting on the wooden steps and looking at the starry sky. The wind was cold but still the soldiers of the resistance were talking normally and the slight feeling of discommodity because of the excessive presence of other people was climbing up your back.

“(Y/N), there’s no need of guard us every night. You also need to sleep.”

“I'm not tired, I think I've gotten enough sleep, at least not to need it until the next century.”

Aether’s expressions went into a sarcastic one, asking if you were serious with just his gaze.

“That’s not how it works.” He said, trying to change the mood. “And if it does, then why are you always snoozing during the day in every chance you get?”

You had the answer to that, but you weren’t sure about telling him.

“Because everything supposed to be boring. Nothing really changed a lot and… looking at the familiar places was depressing.” So easy, so simple, but still enjoying the company, still enjoying the sound of theirs laughs and their own shenanigans. “… Lately, I’ve been thinking that I should not had left the cave. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that you two helped me to be back at the surface, and I really want to help you on your journey, but if you still run into the chaos by own decision I think I could not follow you any longer before being a burden in your adventures.”

Overprotection, an unbreakable shield, frequently avoiding fights, always being pulled back to not be part of the battle. Enemies of the braveness of the traveler.

Worry, panic, an overreaction due to fear of loosing everything again.

‘let me do it’, ‘I got it’, ‘wait here’, ‘don’t get close’.

These day could be described like that.

“So, before I do something worse as an excuse of defend you, please let me find a cave to await. You do what’s is needed and… call me back, or leave me there, anything you think it’s better… ”

You could be pronouncing the words from the very bottom of your heart, but still your face was the same seriousness as the accident almost happened.

And even with that you felt his gloved hand removing the hair that was covering your right ear, revealing how it slightly leaned down, showing sadness unwittingly.

“Hey, cut it out… I’m serious about this… ”

“It doesn’t matter if you think that it’s the best option, you’re still sad about leaving.”

“… That’s cheating.” Removing his hand away from your hair you tried to act indifferent.

“You know the reason why we invited you to came along?”

‘You felt sorry for me.’

“I can’t totally tell the exact reason, but it wasn’t for you to pay us some kind of debt because of saving you.” He crossed his arms, looking at the stars, wondering if his sisters was doing the same. “We don’t need a guardian, we need our friend back. And I know you care about Paimon and me, but still you must enjoy the journey. It’s not fair that you are always aware of every potential danger while we mess around lately.”

An eternal silence, your response is late to appear but somehow Aether can tell that you already have something on your mind.

“Then apologize.”

“… Why?”

“For believing that playing as the hero and jumping to face the Shogun was something you had to do.”

“… but-”

Neither Aether nor you slept that night, the blonde had to listen for hours to all the things that you ever wanted to complain about since you arrived in Inazuma.

You made your position on joining the army of the rebellion very clear, you had no intention of fighting to seek "justice" or "peace". Because after all, that fight did not correspond to you, but if he asked you to, you would protect some soldiers or help to guard the barracks, if he asked you to, you wouldn’t complain about it (at least not that much).

Both had enough of each other’s attitude, but it was okay. Because that was what all of you chose in first place.

292 notes · View notes

bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare · 4 years

Text

It Doesn’t Matter What They say [Corpse Husband]

Hey! This is my first time doing something on Tumblr. If you’d like, go to my Wattpad because thats where this story comes from! Also, sorry if its not accurate. Im still knew to the Corpse_Husband fanbase and the people the people he is seen playing with (-Cr1tiKal and Pewdiepie] and im not familiar with personalities

Summary: No one knew of Corpse and Y/Ns relationship. Until Corpse thought it was a good time to reveal it and maybe to make the people who simp way too much over him calm down a bit. he thought it was a good idea, so did Y/N. But the fans were not happy..

-------------------------------------------

Corpse really loved Y/N. He loved her so much that he let her see his face- a week after they met. They met online through Twitter and became best friends, and they totally hit it off. Y/N made Corpse happy, and he trusted her with all his life. Y/N was small, cute, and innocent. She had a soft high pitched voice and was short. She was the exact opposite of Corpse, and that's what he loved about her. He loved when she wore his hoodies, they were always way bigger on her and the sleeves went over her hands. He loved how kind she was. Y/N was a sweetheart, and Corpse didn't know how he was able to score this hard.

Y/N really loved Corpse. He loves so damn much it might kill her. She was happy she got her phone fixed after it stopped charging, if she didn't this wouldn't have happened. They became best friends and hit it off, and she loved when she made Corpse smile. She knows his real name- but calls him Corpse because that's what he prefers. She knows his birthday, his favorite foods, his favorite songs, his personality, how to cheer him up, she knows everything. She loved Corpses deep voice and how it soothed her to sleep. She loved how tall he was compared to her. She loved sitting on his lap while he made his videos and did his streams. He loved wearing his warm hoodies and snuggling up to his chest after long days. Corpse was the best, and Y/N didn't how she was able to score this hard.

Corpse and Y/N thought it would be a good idea to reveal their relationship to the world.

So they did.

In his last stream, he was playing Among Us and decided to tell everyone about Y/N. His exact words were "Guys by the way, I think it's pretty important to tell you guys that I now have a girlfriend. Her names Y/N, and shes the sweetest little thing."

"I'm not little!" Y/Ns voice rung out from behind him. She was sitting on his bed watching him play. Everyone he was playing with freaked out at how soft and high pitched her voice was.

"Her voice is the exact opposite of Corpses, how is this possible?" Felix said with a laugh.

"How can a demon score with an angel?" Charlie commented.

"She sounds so cuuuute!" Poki said, already falling in love with Y/N even she never heard her voice.

"Awwe now I feel lonely." Sykkuno said, sending a sad face in the chat which made them all laugh.

"Nice to meet you all!" Y/N said, walking over to sit on Corpses lap. She was wearing a familiar black hoodie that was way too big on her. Hmm.. wonder whose it is.

"Wha- are you wearing my hoodie again? I was looking for it all over." Corpse had a smirk plastered on his face and looked Y/N over. She was wasn't wearing any pants- but she knew that smirk meant he was just teasing her, they don't make love very often. They just have late night cuddle sessions and kisses.

"I hid it from you so I can wear it." Y/N said a little sheepishly. She was a little awkward talking to Corpse like this infront of everybody. But by how his friends greeted her, she knew they liked her. She was sure the fans would like her as well.

"Wow. You know I was very cold without that hoodie. I had to wear this plain white t-shirt that made me even more cold." Corpse shook his head in a teasing way. Though Y/N was very soft and innocent, so she thought he was being serious for a second.

She frowned, "I'm sorry! I'll give it to you now-" She started to take it off but was stopped by Corpse.

"Ay ay ay ay- no no no, it's fine I was just joking Y/N." He chuckled, hugging her tightly.

"How is she so pure?" Toast muttered, sitting there in disbelief.

"Shes so innocent." Aoc chuckled, already liking this Y/N girl. She really wanted to play a game of Among Us with her, she seemed like such a nice girl to play with.

"Corpse you better treat her like a queen or I swear to god I will-" Charlie was cut off by Sean.

"SHe sound so perfect for Corpse, I'm for ya dude." Sean said, knowing what to come with that sentence.

"Oh how dare you cut me off. I was about to speaks of wisdom!" Charlie said.

"You were about to say profanity. We need to protect this bean we know as Y/N" Poki said.

Charlie sighed, "Fine. But you better expect a fucking DM Corpse!"

Y/N decided to play along with this, She looked curiously at Corpse and said "Babe? Whats fucking?"

There was audible gasps, and Corpse looked at her in complete and utter disbelief. His little innocent bean just said the no no word, it was forbidden in her vocab.

"CHARLIE!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"NOOOooOOOOOOO!"

"DON'T TAKE HER INNOCENCE!!"

"pretty sure Corpse already took it if you know what I mean."

"Ew what the f--feck?"

--------

It was a fun night for Y/N and Corpse. Y/N enjoyed her time talking to the others and studying Corpses strategies as an imposter. She was excited for when she was gonna be able to play with them, she really looked forward to it. After the stream, Corpse went to record a video reading some more fan written horror stories. Y/N went and laid on the couch, waiting patiently for her boyfriend to finish up his recording- which was going to be a while. She scrolled through her phone, watching a few of Corpses videos and looking at photos of them on her camera roll.

But she made a mistake by going on Twitter.

"Corpses gf is so fake lmao"

"Y/N does not deserve Corpse! Shes sounds like such a bitch"

"I hope @T/N and @Corpse_Husband break up. I hate their relationship already 😭"

"Y/N sounds like a hoe and isn't worthy of Corpses time."

"I bet Corpse is so tired of @T/N lmao. its obvious in his voice loooooooool"

"I hope Y/N dies so i can get a piece of deep daddy 🤩🥰"

"I already hate Y/N and I haven't even seen her in any other vids XD"

"Yoo they sound like they hate her lol. I bet they're just putting on an act to make her feel better about herself."

The DMs, messages, and comments on her posts were even worse..

"You don't deserve Corpse. Fuck off hoe."

"You aren't worry of Corpses time."

"You're such a user."

"Bitch"

"User"

"I bet Corpse really hates you."

"I hope you fucking because Corpse doesn't need an ugly hoe like you in his life"

And they just got worse and worse. Y/N was shocked, why are they hating on her so fast? Does Corpse really not like her..? Is she really not worthy of his time..? NO! She pushed them away, Corpse loves you, and that's truth.

But even so, Y/N couldn't stop reading the messages. They were all so mean.. Only a few people stood up for her. She felt her heart break, everyone hates her... Just despises her! She felt tears run down her face. She cuddled into the hoodie, pulling the oversized hoodie her H/C hair. She felt hurt and hated, like no one wanted her, not even Corpse- the person who loved her the most.

--------

After an hour, Corpse decided to take a little break from recording and check on Y/N. He missed her soft voice and her cuddles, so he was on a mission to get just that thing. He stood up from his gaming chair and gave a nice long stretch and ran a hand through his black hair. He walked to his door, slowly opening it and quietly walking through the hallway. He planned to scare Y/N, and sense it usually takes him hours to finish his recording she wouldn't suspect a thing.

But when he got closer to the living room, he felt worry and concern overwhelm him. He heard the soft sobs and cries of his beloved girlfriend. He rushed into the living room, sitting on the couch and picking her up to hold her in his arms. "Hey babe- are you ok? Whats wrong?"

Y/N didn't say anything, she just snuggled into Corpses chest and hugged him tightly as she sobbed.

"Babe, you can tell me anything, you know that? What's wrong? Did someone say something that hurt you on stream? Wait- is it what Sykkuno said? Baby I'm not gay he's just a friend and you know that, it's just a joke that we're-"

"I-i-its not that.." Y/N muttered out.

"Then whats wrong?" Corpse asked, his voice full of nothing but worry and concern.

Y/N grabbed her phone and turned it on. She went on Twitter on looked up the hashtag 'HateY/N' and told Corpse to scroll through.

She watched as he scrolled through the tweets, and his expression twisted into one Y/N has never really seen before, anger. Oh he was livid. How could they say those things at his beautiful, sweet, and happy girlfriend? He thought his fans would support him and Y/Ns relationship. Why didn't they care?

He read some of the battles, some people loved Y/N.

"Bro stfu. Y/N is perfect for Corpse."

"lmao what? Shes ugly asf"

"Seriously? If you really cared about Corpse you would support him. Now fuck off."

Corpse pulled his own phone out and hopped on Twitter, instantly typing a response to everyone who has been hating on Y/N.

He said "To everybody who has been hating on @T/N, my girlfriend. I love her with all my life and I do not like how some of you guys have been treating her. She has changed my goddamn life, and all this bullshit you guys have been spitting has made Y/N cry. So please.. just please stop."

After that, Corpse threw his phone onto the carpet and hugged Y/N tightly, kissing her temple softly. "It doesn't matter what they say, I will always love you Y/N."

#corpse husband #corpse x reader

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wagner-fell · 3 years

Text

Mari kicked down the dressing room door with a bang so loud Kevin jumped and spilled his hot coffee cup all over himself. Hearing his yelps of pain, Astrid peaked her head out of the curtain, laughed at his expense then shut it again. Maria ignored that.

They strutted out to where the boys were sitting and struck a pose. “Can I rock cottage core or can I rock cottage core?”

Kit didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded instead. While the baby blue dress with short, ruffled sleeves looked a bit out of place paired with Mari’s bulging muscles, she looked absolutely stunning.

The Merry Hoes were located in the back room of the antique store Kevin’s family owned. The Chu’s just got a large donation of vintage clothing. Mari had just gotten their pay check from the downworlder gym she worked at. Kit and Astrid really didn’t want to do their maths homework. It was destiny.

Despite being downworlders both Blessica and Kevin still lived at home. Mari, though, lived with the rest of their pack in an old Edwardian mansion a few blocks away from school. However the five of them slept over at each other’s place of residence so often they blurred together in the young Herondale’s mind. He could really only tell them apart by their smells.

Mari’s reeked of dirty laundry as they were one of four folks on the feminine side of the gender scale out of the lycanthropy of London, Blessica excluded. Her house smelled like Ube, a type of yam her Filipino parents put in everything. Kit couldn’t complain. Ube flavoured ice cream was the best thing he’s ever eaten. Aside from Mari. Though he wasn’t usually the one… Nevermind.

Kevin’s house smelled of Longjing tea and red wine. A peculiar combination that oddly enough, worked quite well.

Astrid had two homes as her parents divorced at the age of six. Stepping into her mom’s house was like stepping into a cookie factory. Which made sense as her mom owned a bakery and lived above it. Kit didn’t know exactly what Astrid’s dad’s place smelled like, let alone looked like, but he could make an educated guess that it was similar to the Los Angeles Institute because it was in LA too.

After they separated, Miss Yang fled to Devon to dodge the possibility of seeing her ex-husband when they exchanged Astrid. Kit related to her on a deep, personal level.

Now Astrid spent her summers in America and Kit drained his battery on international phone calls.

Her three months in the USA each year helped him bond with her better when they had first been introduced. For example, her ringtone was the Perry the Platypus theme song. Blessica, Kevin and Maria had no clue what it was but when the music reached Kit’s ears, the two sang an epic duet that put Kiss Me More (the second most iconic duet in history) to shame.

“How much is this anyway,” asked Mari, turning in a circle to see if there was a price tag. In the process she sent the fabric fluttering as she went. It made them look more magical than ever.

“There is no price on fabulousness,” said Astrid. She had on loose, black dress pants, a white shirt, and black suspenders with gold blemishes.

“Yes there is,” replied Kevin. “54 euros.”

“54 euros,” exclaimed Mari.

“Well it would have been €34 but you made me spill my coffee and this shirt was 20 so..”

“Seriously, Kev. I will fuck your mom. You think I won’t?” A pause. “Wait, only twenty €20?”

“Oh, I know right! There is this incredible thrift store down on Fleet Street and-”

“Don’t care,” interrupted Mar. She took one last look in the mirror before turning back to him. “I’ll give you your parents' price, not your dramatic ass’s one.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Fine. But it’s an extra €10 for the shoes.”

Mari looked down at her tan sandals. They leaned against the door they just excited to take the footwear off. “Racist,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m literally Chinese.”

“Homophobic, then.”

“Pansexaul,” he sang.

Mari was silent for a moment before she banged on the door into the room Blessica was changing into her rose pink gown. “Blessie! Do I have permission to call Kev transphobic in your name?”

“Hey,” said Kevin, looking up from his task of rubbing a paper towel across his sheer, white shirt. “That’s cheating. Blessie, don’t listen to them!”

The nickname ‘Blessie’ was what her family exclusively called her. She turned red when they had first found out. Granted, it wasn’t hard to make Blessica blush. All she had to do was stand in Kevin’s general area.

“Blessica,” called Mari once again. When she still didn’t answer, Maria stood up and pressed their forehead against the changing room door. “You okay?”

“No,” Blessica croaked out finally. Her hoarse voice was laced with sorrow. Upon hearing her speak, Kevin abandoned any hope of saving his top and joined Mari at the door. Kit and Astrid were quick to follow.

“Hey,” said Astrid gently. “What’s wrong?”

Blessica began to sob. “The dress doesn’t fit right,” she whimpered.

“That’s okay,” soothed Kevin. “We have other sizes.”

“Kev, it doesn’t fit my body because it wasn’t made for my body. I just feel so ugly.” All the other Merry Hoes made various sounds of distress. Kit was instantly reminded of Dru,

He was suddenly fifteen again. In Ty’s bedroom as he told him of all the times she’d been told she wasn’t pretty by members of the Shadowhunter society. And all the times Emma or Julian or another member of her family had reassured her that she was. The thought occurred to Kit that maybe they weren’t Emma-y as Blessica needed them to be.

“It’s just like,” started Blessica, “I started taking Estrogen seven months ago, you know? And I still don’t have anything to show for it.”

His mind was racing a mile a minute. “Yes you do,” he said.

“I do?” she asked, sounding dubious.

“Your voice!”

“You do have a really nice voice,” agreed Astrid. “You could totally narrate audiobooks or something.”

“No it’s not,” grumbled Kevin.

“Kevin,” said Mari, glaring daggers at him. ‘Kevin’ in this case didn’t mean Kevin. It meant ‘Shut your mouth right or I will actually kill you’.

“No, not like that! It’s just…” he was blushing profusely now. “Her voice is like the rain. Most of the time it’s soft and warm and it wraps you in one big, wet hug. You can’t help but feel, well, blessed to get to feel it touching your skin.. But when it rains hard you feel every single drop land. But no matter what kind of rain it is, the impact is always enormous. Uh, yeah, her voice is like that.” There was a moment of prolonged silence, where Blessica had stopped crying but no one was brave enough to talk.

The door opened and Kit, Kevin and Astrid stumbled backwards. Mari didn’t. Stupid gorgous jock, Kit thought as she survayed her inferiourors.

Blessica stood in the open doorway. Her eyes were puffy and red. The dress looked perfect on her. Not that this style hadn’t looked perfect on Mari but their arms were so thick, they filled up the entire selve. Blessica was so petite you could see her bones clearly through the skin. It highlighted the flowness of the gown extremely well. “You guys like my voice?” Then, “why are you all staring at me, is it that bad?”

“Blessie,” said Mari. “You can’t just put on that in front of four people who like women and expect them not to stare.”

“Respectfully, of course,” added Kit.

“Just tell us if it makes you uncomfortable,” agreed Kevin.

“Step on me,” breathed Astrid.

“But then again,” said Mari, “you validate yourself too.”

“Run me over with a cement truck.”

“We can see your hot as fuck. But more importantly you have to believe you’re hot as fuck.”

“You could literally kill me and I’d get on my knees to thank you.”

Blessica was blushing as hard as Kevin now. They sheepishly smiled at each other before turning away. “Simp,” said Kit and he held out his hand. Astrid dutifully rewarded him with a high five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am on the trans spectrum but I am not mtf. If you are and you feel misrepresented please feel free to private message me or just leave a comment tell me how I can fix it.

@the-wckd-powers @book-dragon-not-worm @thechangeling @the-blackdale @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @illusions-give-reasons-to-live @shelvesofgold @arangiajoan @maxboythedog @noah-herondale-lightwood @its-taff @cncnbr @sofiatheskeleton @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @adoravel-fenomeno

Let me know if I left anyone out. Also let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list.

#The Merry Hoes #Kit Rook #Kit Herondale #mari the werewolf #mari machado #astrid yang #blessica reyes #Kevin chu #dru blackthorn #drusilla blackthorn #ty blackthorn #tiberius blackthorn #tsc

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 58 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSIONS/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

This has two locked chapters. So I usually play one chapter and then write a summary for it and then play the next and so on, I don’t come back and edit the summaries or theories I write but this lesson is special enough that I had to come back and write a special intro to it. Hoo BOY! is this something! You think it’s gonna go the usual way with MC solving the problem demon by demon with each of them having some wacky fear and it is like that for a while until it nosedives into TRAUMAtm and ISSUEStm territory and becomes surprisingly dark. And for someone who loves speculating and coming up with theories this whole lesson was a goldmine, Enjoy!

Black mist swirls around the hall, Mammon & Levi shriek and the hall starts rattling until the mist forms pissed off demon Lucifer which makes Asmo yelp (and this is what I mean, the greatest common fear in this group (if you don’t consider Simeon and Lucifer) is probably pissed off demon Lucifer but on their own they’ll probably have different fears.) Levi stutters out that it’s lucifer and real lucifer tells him to calm his tits cause the he is actually with them. MC identifies it as the bogeyman (genius) and it starts shrieking for Mammon and Levi, which leads to Mammon screaming and Levi closing his eyes and chanting ‘no’ as they cling on to Belphie as the entire hall rattles again. Solomon happily tells MC ‘Welp there’s your exam, deal with it.’ Simeon’s slightly more helpful and tells them staying calm is the key. MC says they can do that. Solomon laughs and says that’s the answer he’d expect from his talented apprentice. MC uses a spell “light born of shadow” to repel the spirit, the spell and the spirit makes the wind howl and the hall shake and the spirit growl/groan. To escape the spell it flees into one of the hotel rooms and the hall suddenly becomes eerily quiet. Mammon collapses to his knees and Levi, with his eyes still closed, says he lost 500yrs of his life. Neither of them have still let go off Belphie. Lucifer calls them pathetic for being demons scared of a bogeyman (bro they’re scared of *you* akjdvkdfjjjkdn) Mammon snaps and says he ain’t scared of the bogeyman and Satan asks how he can say that after what they all saw. Levi says it’s not the bogeyman it’s a fully pissed off Lucifer he’s scared of. Mammon still insists he’s not scared. Levi tells him to shut up cause he was so scared he couldn’t stand, Mammon says he just wanted to sit down for a bit. Lucifer calls them pathetic again and Levi protests. Lucifer then says they must find a way to get rid of it for good cause it’ll start to come after each one of them individually. MC says maybe they can admit what they’re all afraid of so that they’ll know what they will be facing ahead of time. Solomon agrees with this plan and tells them to start with the oldest and work their way down, listing their fears. Asmo calls Solomon out on using this as an excuse to find Lucifer’s weaknesses to use later. Solomon smiles and says he’d never do that, Belphie says the look on his face suggests different. Beel says that there’s probably nothing that scares Lucifer and Lucifer says that nothing comes to mind (and this feels like when you’re a child and think your parents are all knowing and invincible only to get a sometimes painful reality check later). Mammon says he doesn’t get scared, Levi calls him a liar and says pissed off demon Lucifer scares him and then he goes on to list fears based off being an otaku (eg: the final ep of a series he loves and etc). Simeon cuts Levi off as his list grows and asks Satan. Satan straight up says “Nothing scares me.” And Simeon smiles and says it takes a lot of confidence to say that (yeah even Lucifer said that in terms of a greatest fear “nothing comes to mind” implying he’s felt fear before and probably had moments of ‘greatest fear’ too. Satan just straight up says nothing at all scares him and I think that shows his age and experience gap compared to Lucifer. Even the way Simeon smiled and said the confidence line felt like he was indulging Satan rather than believing him). Asmo jumps and says being ugly scares him. Beel says he thought about it but he really doesn’t know (with the saddest expression on his face) but he also says a pissed off Satan and Asmo are also pretty scary. Asmo yells at Beel for calling him scary (didn’t Asmo very seriously threaten to rip MC’s heart out in S1? I feel like a lot of people forget this… I’ve seen people say Asmo and Mammon were the only ones who didn’t attack or seriously threaten MC and I’m just like no??? Asmo was definitely ready to kill them and he gets even more pissed if MC says they don’t think he’s the most attractive person. MC doesn’t get the chance to talk back when Asmo threatens them either which makes it seem all the more serious. When Mammon first threatens to eat MC after they first meet he says it in that same over the top way he said he wasn’t scared in this lesson – completely unbelievable. And MC probably catches that too cause they get to talk back and tell him that they literally give no shits about whatever he’s talking about.) Belphie says he used to be afraid of the alarm clock satan gave him which wouldn’t snooze or stop, which he threw away (I feel like they’re greatly underestimating what ‘greatest fear’ means…) Solomon asks MC what scares them the most and the chapter ends. (I HC MC as having heavy abandonment issues, of waking up and finding out this was all a dream and that they’re alone but I doubt OM!’s gonna let them say that)

Asmo’s very excited to find out about MC’s worst fears but Levi says when MC came face to face with the bogeyman and chased it away it didn’t transform which means… Levi smiles and Mammon laughs and goes ‘holy shit you’re scared of Lucifer too!? Asmo points out that Mammon said ‘too’ implying… Mammon vehemently protests. Simeon says that that Luke’s blessing is still active despite it being given some time back and it makes the Bogeyman have no affect on MC. Asmo’s shocked and asks if that isn’t really impressive. Simeon says it is and that Luke’s blessings are so powerful that it even rivals some angels’ higher up in the hierarchy (do you think that’s why Michael has such an interest in Luke despite him having no ranking?) Simeon says Luke himself doesn’t realise how special his power is and MC’s amazed by what a bright future he’ll have. Simeon says he’s looking forward to it. Belphie says once that once Luke grows up he’d be able to banish Mammon with a snap of his fingers (and ansknvjbkdc BELPHIE!? Isn’t this also a self burn you fucking idiot???? Considering Mammon’s the 2nd most powerful and you’re the 7th?????? They really do genuinely forget Mammon’s ranking don’t they?) Mammon asks why Belphie had to pick him to shit on and Levi laughs and says Mammon will totally deserve being banished by an angel. Mammon goes to murder Levi but Lucifer cuts them off saying Barbatos just messaged him saying ‘don’t fucking stand there like fucking idiots kick out the bastard that you lot are responsible for unless you’d rather me come there and rip your fucking innards out you fucking assholes’ MC picks up on a very key fact and says “He’s fucking spying in us!???” Satan says he’s probably watching them at that very moment which creeps Asmo out. Solomon says they should go after it then which has Mammon yelping and Levi protesting. Lucifer says if they all go barging in everything will devolve into chaos and that just a couple should do. Levi laughs about MC being OP cause of Luke’s blessing (love the self awareness) Solomon tells MC to pick who’ll go in with them.

Asmo’s demanding why he got picked and Mammon, smiling happily, says Asmo should consider getting hand-picked by MC an honour, Asmo says they just happened to make eye contact and MC picked him and he can’t help it if MC’s eyes are naturally drawn towards his beauty. (I just realized considering Mammon’s the one MC usually picks for stupid, dangerous adventures so he probably thought he’d get picked and he’s so smiley rn cause he’s relieved). Satan tells Asmo to suck it up and Asmo says it’s easy for them to say since they aren’t been made to go in the room. All sparkly and teary eyed Asmo cries about how his beauty ended up being his undoing. Simeon wishes MC luck and says that should anything go wrong he’ll come in. MC tells Asmo they’ll protect him, Asmo throws himself into their arms and calls them the best. Lucifer tells them to keep their guard up, even with Luke’s blessing. The hotel room looks like someone has used a negative filter on it. Inside Asmo screams and says he can’t take it and that he knows what he’ll see and that an ugly version of himself will be so bad that he’ll have a heart attack and die adding on “I’ll DIE, MC!” at the end for emphasis (wait so bullets won’t kill them but heart attacks are a possibility? Or is this Asmo just being melodramatic?). With tears in his eyes he says he gives up. MC tells him nothing will change how beautiful he is, he agrees but still struggles to argue with it. The black mist then starts forming and Asmo squeaks. With a rumble it shakes the room and transforms. Asmo starts screaming and sobbing about how ugly he looks and how it hurts his eyes. To stop Asmo’s oncoming mental breakdown MC shows him a mirror and he starts cooing over how beautiful he really is but he still says he can’t take it and runs out the room (I like to imagine the bogeyman had to do the bare minimum to make Asmo see a hideous version of himself, like anything less than perfect flawlessness would freak Asmo out.) Back outside Lucifer sounds disappointed that these are some of the most powerful demons in the devildom, Satan calls the whole thing pathetic, and Levi laughs about how they should have known not to trust Asmo with this (..I mean you wouldn’t have done any better either), Mammon mocks Asmo for calling himself a demon, Beel says he’s hungry. Asmo tells them if they’re so much braver than him they should go in. Solomon tells MC to pick the next one. MC happens to make eye contact with Belphie. Without MC even saying a word Belphie realizes what has happened. About Asmo’s fear maybe I’m making it too deep but in S1 and in other places too Asmo talks about how beautiful he was in the Celestial Realm and I always wondered if part of his obsession with his beauty now is because it’s a way to cling on to that, the last thing that he can keep unchanged after his whole world was turned on his head. I think in the very early drafts of OM!, back when the brothers had canonical demonic demon forms as well the writers said Asmo hated his, so it’d make sense after how even his actual form changed he’d cling so desperately onto the human form he shared with his past angelic self.

Belphie asks if they really need him to come, Satan says it’s not like they can let MC go in alone, Belphie says they have Luke’s blessing so they may as well throw them into the sharks (I want to say I really like sharks and am always somewhat upset by the misconception of them as these ruthless killing machines when at most they’re just idiots with bad eyesight) Lucifer says that there’s always the possibility things won’t go as planned, Belphie says then Simeon will just step in (Belphie’s trying so hard guyssss. And like I imagine a majority of it is cause he’s lazy and doesn’t want to deal with this but I also feel like a small part of him knows that something worse than an annoying alarm clock could be waiting in there. I mean your greatest fear can be very personal and for emotionally constipated idiots like this who’ve lived millions of years and fought two wars? I imagine they’d be very private about it.) Simeon says that though that’s the plan it would but an end to MC’s exam. Cause he isn’t part of their additional materials the way the brothers are, says Solomon. Beel begs Belphie to do it for him and that he wants Belphie to keep MC safe. YO! Mammon brings up my point immediately. God I love him. Looking smug, he asks if the truth is that Belphie’s trying so hard to avoid something other than an alarm clock. Belphie looks shocked, then looks to the side and says “No…”. Mammon says then Belphie should be just fine, that it’s an alarm clock and it’s not a big deal (You know and I know that Mammon knows well that it’s not gonna be just an alarm clock, what a shithead picking up on Belphie’s weakness like that and manipulating him when nothing else worked. I love him so much). Belphie agrees to go. Inside the Bogeyman is already forming and a shrill alarm clock starts ringing, until it suddenly stops and everything goes black. Belphie makes a small noise and MC calls his name. He starts asking what’s going on and where MC went, sounding more and more distressed with each question. The wind keeps whistling through. MC says they’re right there. He can’t hear them. He’s now screaming for MC to answer him. Then he starts screaming for MC and Beel. Then for Asmo, Satan, Mammon and Levi. Then for Lucifer. When he gets no reply he says, “This can’t be happening…it can’t be…I…I…” He screams that he can’t take it and that he’s scared, asking where everyone went. MC moves towards his voice and hugs him. He screams for MC and Beel to help him. The chapter ends. This whole scene is haunting. From the bitch black screen, to the whistling wind being the only thing you can hear, to hearing Belphie who’s usually so unaffected start screaming for his family just? How it all started with the shrill screams of the alarm clock which just abruptly stopped. It came outta nowhere. I honestly didn’t think they’d do something like that and I’m shaking imagining what the others might see. I’m 100% sure that Belphie used all his energy to focus on the alarm clock so that the bogeyman wouldn’t pick up on this darker fear and that’s why the alarm clock went off at first. I initially thought Belphie’s real fear will be something directly related to the second war but this makes so much more sense, it makes sense that after losing Lilith his biggest fear would be losing the rest of his family and being alone and just wow I’m??? I love that they did this. It hurt to see but it was desperately needed.

Back outside Asmo and Belphie are both silent and depressed. Beel quietly calls Belphie’s name, saying all the colour has drained from his face and asking if he’s okay. Asmo whines about how Beel only cares about Belphie and hasn’t even checked up on him. Mammon says they both do look pretty awful and Satan says they look like Levi and Mammon did after seeing Lucifer’s pissed demon form. Levi says not to even bring it up. Beel asks what happened inside the room and Belphie says nothing. Beel orders (the key word here is ‘orders’ and it’s so different from his usual self that it was great to see what he becomes when the people he loves are hurt) that MC tell him what happened (and look on one hand it’s important to keep Belphie’s privacy and to not say anything without his consent, on the other hand he will NEVER tell anyone this, something he’s been bottling up for thousands of years, and he really should talk it over with them. Personally I think they should take him aside later and talk it over with him and then if he wants let him approach the others). MC can say “the truth is that…” or “…”. For the first he gets really pissed off and yells at MC to stop. He then takes a step back and apologizes and says he doesn’t want them telling the others anything. For the second Belphie quietly thanks them. He then says it wasn’t a big deal and something happened that he wasn’t expecting. He smiles and tells Beel not to look at him like that. Beel still can’t get over it and still looks furious, saying that he doesn’t know what happened but he knows it really messed Belphie up and he’s not letting it get away with that. He says he’s gonna destroy it and calls MC after him. Inside the room it’s dead quiet. Beel says again he’s not sure what he’s scared of but even if it turns into an angry Asmo or Satan they need to attack it without any hesitation. He says that whatever that thing did to Belphie it terrified him and that they need to make it pay. All of a sudden there’s a flash of light and long groans as the room shakes and the mist forms. Beel tells MC to attack it using his power before it can transform and MC commands him, Beel says his power is theirs to command and everything he does is for them and Belphie. Beel uses a spell to send a bolt of light towards it and for a second it seems to shrink into itself before it comes back stronger and holy shit holy shit holy shit GUYS!!!!! There’s a flash of light and they’re in front of the Celestial Palace except everything is on fire asdjkjdfjcusjosdsjdj FUCK. The bolt Beel had previously sent to the bogeyman instead pierces through the chest of angel!Belphie (FUCK!!?) Beel screams and then screams for Belphie. “Don’t take away my brother too! I can’t bare to lose anyone else…!” MC tries to tell him he hasn’t lost anyone but Beel protests saying he’s attack hit Belphie and now he’s… Beel’s unable to finish that sentence. He then looks at MC and starts pleading with them not to go, again saying that he’s begging them not to go anywhere. They tell him that they’re right here with him. He tells them he’s scared. The chapter ends. AND WTF!!!!????? They really went there huh? I’ve been screaming about the trauma Lilith’s death would have lead to since maybe Mammon & Luke’s train lesson but they really are bringing it up now huh!? I’m just holy shit.

They’re back in the hotel room with the mist swirling around them and at the screams Belphie comes running into the room and tries to span Beel outta it (and isn’t it sweet given how reluctant he was to go in and how shaken up he was after that he’d come tunning in for Beel). Levi comes in next with his eyes closed and stuttering but wanting to be there for Beel, then Asmo with tears in his eyes saying they’re not gonna abandon their “adorable little brother” despite how scared they are. Mammon comes in next, red faced and also with his eyes shut and asking Beel where he is, Lucifer comes in after telling Beel to focus and stay with them. (guys they’re all such good brothers I can’t deal). Beel seems genuinely touched that they all came for him. The Bogeyman flares and seems to grow again and Satan puts himself in between it and the others, angry that it had messed with his brothers and saying it was up against him now and he wasn’t scared of anything. The think groans and the room shakes and they’re in the coliseum like place in the Devildom (the place where Diavolo said he found Lucifer with Lilith after they fell) and everything around them is on fire again. Mammon asks if it’s turning into Lucifer again and Belphie says it looks like it is. It turns in to angel Lucifer (oh boy…I actually stood up and walked away. Satan…….dude….holy shit?). Satan gasps as the reveal and I genuinely think he didn’t know it was coming unlike Belphie. The name reads Lucifer (?) and I’m gonna just directly quote what he says. Also Angel Lucifer surrounded by fire and this pale purple aura with a kinda blank yet pissed off and judgmental expression while tense lowkey creepy music plays is actually kinda scary? I think it’s the fact that he’s supposed to be an angel but he looks genuinely scarier than when it transformed into demon Lucifer… Anyway: “…Satan, you fool. It’s time you learned your place. Because in the end, you’re nothing more than an inferior copy of me. You must already realize that.” Satan growls at him to shut up but he continues, “I know you, I know how you think. Because you were modeled after me. I was the original.” Satan says, “…Stop it.” It laughs and says while smiling, “It seems you don’t want to admit it, do you? You don’t want to but you have no choice. You hate it and you hate yourself. You’re consumed with self-loathing, aren’t you?” Satan screams at it to stop. Screaming that it’s not true and then screaming shut up over and over at an increasing volume. Lucifer, real Lucifer, tries calling Satan’s name, telling him to get ahold of himself. This shocks Satan out of it for a while. Lucifer goes up to him saying, “Satan, I need you to listen to me. You and I are not the same. You’re not me, and I’m not you.” He says his hobby is music while Satan prefers reading and that Satan loves cats but Lucifer would pick dogs. “You’re not a copy of me. No… You’re my brother.” He says he’s the brother to Lucifer, the avatar of pride and that he’s Satan the avatar of wrath. He asks if that isn’t his name. Satan is speechless after that. He turns to MC and asks them to tell him who he is. “You’re Lucifer’s younger brother, Satan.” This makes him laugh. He agrees with them. Saying he’s Satan. “No one else, just Satan.” He tells MC to use their pact. MC uses a spell to lend power to Satan and he uses that for a spell to banish the bogeyman. There’s a bright flash and everything turns white. (Holy shit Satan….the fact that it was angel Lucifer who was his worst fear and not normal Lucifer, that it was angel Lucifer’s judgment he feared? And I think I said this in two of the other summaries too but Satan’s the only brother Lucifer didn’t choose. Lucifer as an angel chose all his siblings and practically adopted them into his growing family. Satan was the only one who just came along and who Lucifer had no choice but to keep. Do you think that could be one of the reasons why it was angel Lucifer he specifically feared? Everyone else was with angel Lucifer in the celestial realm and fought by his side except Satan, Satan was never even an angel. He was always a demon who angels were taught to hate. Do you think it’s possible that he thinks that if angel Lucifer had the choice he wouldn’t have chosen Satan and brought him t the family? And that’s why the fairies thought he needed to meet angel Lucifer and hear him say he wished he had a brother like Satan. Also is it just me but does Satan have imposter syndrome vibes? Like the feeling that everything he achieves is cause he’s a shade of Lucifer and Lucifer’s just naturally perfect so he always has to work even harder to be better than Lucifer to prove he’s his own person.)

They’re back in the hotel room, except now all the colours are back to normal. Mammon asks what happened, Beel asks if it was destroyed and Belphie tells Satan his last spell was really impressive, Asmo tells Satan that he’s amazing and that he made his heart race, Lucifer says it was excellent and says well done. (lowkey disappointed we didn’t see Lucifer’s greatest fear but whatever). Satan dismisses all of it, saying it wasn’t a big deal and trying to move on and turn attention on how he’s gonna convert all the leftover emotion he has after having his vulnerabilities forcefully displayed in front of everyone into anger so he can murder Levi and Mammon. The two yelp and make a break for it. The other 3 also give chase, with even Beel saying he wants to take a bite outta them, while Mammon and Levi scream about how they’re gonna get eaten (…what would the other guests think…). Solomon follows the 6 of them happily to watch the carnage. Simeon asks if Lucifer wasn’t going to chase after them and he says he’d run himself ragged if he chased after them each time they fucked up. The two of them then congratulate MC and they say they couldn’t have done it without a.) Satan. Simeon says it was them who was able to draw such immense power from him and that their talent was impressive. B.) all of them, Lucifer laughs and says that some of them weren’t any help at all. Lucifer’s smile then slips and he tells them to wait a minute and sike that bitch is back! It has barely any strength left and is making one last attempt. Everything flashes white and it transforms into a bright light streaming from the window. The next two are direct quotes. Simeon: …! That light- Lucifer: Simeon, calm down. This one’s “mine”. Lucifer transforms into his demon form, saying something that transforms into your deepest fear is something he could live without. He says, “And here I’m thinking we would never meet again.” And I feel like he’s talking to the ‘light’ and not the bogeyman they thought they killed. He tells MC to use his power. They do and Lucifer uses the same spell as Satan and the bogeyman is finally killed. Simeon is silent and looks upset. Lucifer says they killed the last of it and they should be safe. He says it’s a good thing MC was there next to him or it might have ended very badly. Simeon’s still silent and Lucifer refuses to make eye contact with him. He says he’s going to check on his brothers and says he’ll see them later. Simeon’s silent and now looks thoughtful and MC can ask him a.) If something’s wrong. He apologizes and says he’s fine and then sighs and says “Oh, am I?” b.) they wonder if Lucifer’s okay. Simeon says he’ll be fine because Lucifer is strong and then quietly adds “…unlike me…” C.) they ask what that light was. “Not what.” Says Simeon, “who…”. Okay there’s so much to talk about I think my brain died. 1st – Simeon is stunned when the light first appears and Lucifer has to tell him to calm down that the light was his fear. Which meant Simeon thought the bogeyman was reacting to him and showing him his own fear and that means Simeon and Lucifer’s worst fear is the same thing and Lucifer knew this as well. Now you could say Simeon thought this light was the real deal and not the bogeyman and that’s why he reacted that way and that’s why Lucifer told him it’s just his fear BUT Lucifer said beforehand that the bogeyman had not been killed an they all see the mist forming and the room shaking and the thing groaning before the light is formed so it’d be hard to make that mistake. Plus simeon’s “unlike me” line seals it and pretty much confirms that Simeon and Lucifer share the same greatest fear. And I said earlier that I believed the bogeyman acted on the common fear of everyone it could affect but both Simeon and Lucifer were sure it was their own fear that was taking shape, plus the bogeyman only had enough strength for one last target, so yeah the ‘light’ is definitely both of their individual greatest fears. 2nd – who was it. MC’s being talking with a voice in the light every once in a while and I always assumed it was Michael cause he seems to have the same position in the celestial realm that Diavolo has in the Devildom. But why would Michael be Lucifer’s greatest fear? It’d make more sense for Lucifer’s greatest fear to be his Father but that’d mean MC’s being chatting with God this whole time and that’s absolutely fucking insane and I’m not even gonna consider that further. So Lucifer’s greatest fear is (probably) Michael but why? Because of what he represents? Because of what happened with Lilith and their Fall? Because he could threaten Diavolo’s plans for harmony? Because of some other unknown trauma? 3rd – What happened to Simeon? We know he was a seraphim who was demoted for some reason. We know he stole from Michael and was caught and Michael called him back to face some sort of consequences. We know after this he was stationed semi-permanently in the human world for some unknown reason. We know he’s meeting with angels (probably raphael) here in the human world. But what happened that made the angels or Michael his greatest fear? What did he mean by Lucifer being strong unlike him? Personally I think despite the Celestial Realm saying they cast the brothers out, the brothers actually fled after Lilith was struck. I think Lucifer asked Simeon to come with him and I think Simeon denied him and instead helped them escape and this lead to his demotion. We know from that one devilgram that after meeting Diavolo for the first time Lucifer realizes the Celestial Realm nor his Father particularly care for peace with the Devildom, while Diavolo’s actively seeking it and that demons and the devildom are not like what he believes they are. The more Lucifer meets with Diavolo the more he learns about the Devildom and the rest of the world, as Mammon said about Luke, he learns about the real world, how the angels aren’t always right and how there’s more to everything than the Celestial Realm and so the more disillusioned with the Celestial Realm he becomes. As Simeon was his closest friend he might have relayed this all to him, or at least given a vague idea of what he’s starting to see and Simeon in turn starts seeing things from Lucifer’s perspective or more accurately he starts seeing the whole picture (and this is what Barbatos means when he says Simeon is likeable because he’s different from the other angels) unlike Lucifer though this doesn’t make him angry at or resentful of the celestial realm – it just opens his eyes up to its faults but that doesn’t mean he loves all the good parts of it any less – So when Lucifer offers him the chance to leave (the way Simeon himself sees it) he’s never strong enough to take that leap. Or that’s at least my theory of what happened till the next lessons clear it up.

Simeon is still silent and looking upset and then he laughs and apologizes because he can’t seem to stop trembling (and okay first wtf? Also so the theory about Lucifer and Simeon sharing a greatest fear was right. But also what the fuck did Michael do that’s made Simeon tremble? Though the first time the brothers spoke of Michael Mammon said he still shook thinking about his punishments… But would Michael do anything like that to someone who used to be a fellow Seraphim? Was that light really Michael or was it the Big Guytm cause that’ll be terrifying I don’t want to deal with that…). MC asks him if he’s okay. He says he appreciates their concern ands says it’s just that the light was just a sight he hadn’t seen in a long time AND WAIT!? SO IT WASN’T MICHAEL!!??? IT ACTUALLY WAS GOD!!!??? I’M WHEEZING AND NOT IN THE LAUGHING WAY WTFFFF HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY!!!??? AND WAIT SO MC’S TALKED TO A VOICE IN A LIGHT ABOUT THRICE NOW??? WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT!??? PLS TELL ME AT LEAST THAT WAS MICHAEL!? I’D LOSE MY SHIT IF IT TURNS OUT MC’S BEING COMMUNICATING WITH GOD HELP- I’m okay. I’m good. I took a walk. Simeon’s still trembling and MC hugs him. Simeon blushes and says humans have a strange warmth to them. He says that sometimes he wonders if MC would make a better angel than him (which supports my ‘not strong enough’ theory in the previous paragraph). He holds them back tightly. He says there’s something he wants to tell them and says I- before Asmo screaming for MC to come watch them torture Levi & Mammon cuts him off (would he confess to them again? He did it before and it seemed done when they rejected him and he backed off. I guess emotions are more complex than that). He looks upset at the interruption but covers it with a smile and says it seems like they’re wanted. He asks them to drop by the café later and says they can continue the discussion then. The two of them are hung up upside down, Mammon’s screaming to be let down and Levi’s sobbing and screaming at Mammon not to throw a temper tantrum right next to him. Diavolo says they make an interesting chandelier but that they don’t fit with their interior design. Mammon screams at him to then fucking let them down. Barbatos suggests a muzzle. Satan suggest shutting them up with their fists and Belphie says it’s too much work and that they’ll juest wear themselves out. Beel says there’s a style of cooking in the human world like this. Lucifer says these two don’t look appetizing and that he’d rather have actual churrasco. Solomon welcomes MC back and gives them the star of humility. He says they are now officially a sorcerer. Diavolo and Barbatos both congratulate them. Asmo says they’re amazing and that he’s even more smitten with them. Belphie says he’s really impressed and says good for them. Beel says he’s really happy for them and says nice going. Satan says “MC the Sorcerer” has a nice ring to it. Lucifer says well done. MC thanks them all. Solomon says nothing makes him happier than seeing his apprentice become a full-fledged sorcerer. Mammon yells that he wants to be part of the celebration too and to let him down, Levi says he’s going to be sick. And the chapter and the entire lesson ends.

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angsty-omi · 3 years

Text

the friend zone.

levi ackerman x reader

no proofread— i wrote this at 4am

tw: mentions of blood, cursing, and levi being a fucking dick.

out of all the comrades in the survey corps, levi only fancied a few amount. hange, erwin, and you. you couldn’t understand why, it wasn’t like you were any special. honestly if you didn’t dye your hair pink using a mixture of berries and flour, he wouldn’t have even noticed.

it all started when everyone was in an ordered formation, while levi eyed down every single newbie. not necessarily saying anything, just staring into their soul. until, you caught his eye, and immediately he skipped over everyone else to face you. the people before you in line sighed with relief. maybe he was here to compliment my hair or critique my stance. it was none of that. in fact, he blew your knees so you’d fall forward. under your ragged pants, you could feel the skin on your knee starting to bleed. you looked up at him with shock, and he grabbed the back of your hair putting you much closer to his face. you couldn’t help but admire his tired eyes, or his wrinkles from furrowing his eyebrows. aside from that, he’s actually quite handsome. his voice interrupts your thoughts.

“scrub this shit off or else i will feed you to them” levi scolded and shoved your head onto the ground.

them as in the titans? you feared. as you looked over the other commanders, they inadvertently looked away from the two of you. you politely complied, and hoped he and the others ignored the tears running down your face. once you got to your quarters, you went straight to the shower. the color was slowly but surely getting off, showing your brown hair underneath. it’s been a while since you’ve seen your normal hair color. back in your village, you were known as the one with the artsy look, which was basically a polite way of saying the weird one. the shower head was also burning your fresh wounds from that morning and then some. you couldn’t help but think about your experience with levi and how he a complete dick he was. you swore to never get close to him nor acknowledge his presence unless required.

so how did you get here? leaning back on his chair with your feet on the table, waiting for him to come back from training the new fleet. shortly after, your not-so-fun first encounter, levi warmed up to you through back and forth banter and snarky comebacks. you’ve learned his lingo, when he says “i hate you,” it means the opposite— to the extent of “you’re okay.” if he says, “brat,” then he actually likes you. it’s the people he doesn’t remember the names of that should be scared of him. you read him like a book and vice versa.

he knew you, a bit too well. over the past few months, he could tell that you’ve started to like him afar from just friends. while he loved you as a comrade, his heart did not have the capacity to have an actual lover. so, he’s been hinting for you to not confess. scared is a term he never uses, but this was one of the few that did. levi was never scared of titans, literal human-eating monsters, rather, he was scared of you confessing your feelings for him. as the meticulous man that he his, he anticipated that today was the day that you’d express your feelings. how? over the past week, you’ve been trying to pry any sort of response for your unrequited feelings. while you thought you were slick, levi knew. that’s why he stalled the new members by running strenuous amounts of laps, because once he came back, you’d do it.

levi couldn’t hide from you any longer. with his hand on the knob, it slowly turned. there you were, with a bright smile on your face greeting him. it warmed his heart, platonically. your heart, however, was beating a million times faster once you saw him. you understood rejection was a high possibility, but you were at your limit.

“levi?” you fretted.

he nodded in response.

“you should sit down,”

levi took in a deep breath, knowing that this was the talk.

“i think i’m in love with you,” your eyes glossed. talking about your feelings always made you cry.

silence was your answer. even though, you knew this was a high chance, damnit did it hurt. you’ve been wounded by titans, and yet, this hurt the most. seeing levi’s face conflicted, trying to find the words to say to kindly reject you.

“y/n, listen you’re great. i love how you make me smile, your dumb jokes, snarky comments, and shitty roasts. but, i’m not in love with you, nor do i think i will ever.” he expressed, not looking at you in the eye. thinking, you were about to breakdown and cry, he was surprised to you see a stoic face.

“good, because i have other news.” you sighed, with a stressed out hand rubbing your temple.

news, what other news? what has she been keeping from me? levi wondered.

“my parents have found me a husband. at first, i completely shut it down. but then, starting to think of it, it would be nice to just leave and live a normal life. i was truly, truly, considering it but my love for you had to be addressed.”

“and i guess, since we’ve cleared that road... i’m leaving levi,” tears started dripping down your cheeks. looking up at levi, he had the same monotonous face. you couldn’t read what he was thinking.

“say something please” you begged.

“get out.”

“what?”

“i said get out.”

“what? why? you don’t even want to talk about this?”

“what is there to talk about? you’re leaving for some comfy lifestyle and ignoring reality. y/n we are literally dying every day. no one has the opportunity of being able to just leave. and yet, here you are leaving. you’re such a fucking pussy, i can’t believe i ever let you get this close. i was right when i first met you, you’re just some privileged girl who wanted to see a change of scenery.”

the love of your life just ended your whole career. but what was more upsetting? was that he was right. you were afraid. seeing all your friends dying was detrimental to your mental health and you saw this as a way to escape.

“you’re right, i am scared. of everything. but levi think to yourself why have i stuck out this long? why have i allowed myself to continue to serve after seeing all my comrades being ate up like chicken wings? because of you. i’m so fucking in love with you that i could handle all that. but if i don’t even have you what do i have left?” you sobbed.

“you still have me! just not that way and why does it have to be?”

“because seeing you so touchy with petra hurts. it fucking hurts seeing the man you love fall in with others!”

“seriously levi, tell me to my face that you don’t like her.”

again with the silence. something so loud, but so quiet.

you angrily slammed the door closed. your five year friendship, gone just like that. you leaned your back against the wooden door, slowly sliding down not feeling your legs. your sobs were loud, apparent that levi could hear it from the other side. if he could, he would. as soon as you felt your legs, you left.

once you got to your quarters, you grabbed your suitcase trying to pack as many things blindly. only ten minutes in, and you heard a knock at your door.

“leave me alone, i understood your message completely and now am leaving.” you screamed, knowing exactly who it was. the door slammed open with heavy pressure.

“what do you want levi,” you cried.

you felt arms wrap around your back with a head nestled into your neck.

“i think i’m in love with you too.” he whispered so quiet, that if you weren’t listening you’d miss it.

“you’re just saying that,”

“no i mean it. selfish enough, the thought of you being happy with someone other than me physically hurts my heart.”

now you’re silent.

“from the day i first landed my eyes on your ugly pink hair, to now you always had my attention one way or another. but it’s like, if i’ve accepted these feelings it’ll hurt even more if you die. i buried it down. down so far that on the surface it felt platonic. but your dumbass dug it back up.”

you swiftly turned around and pressed your lips against his. his eyes shocked at first, but then slowly melting into your lips. both desperate to show the other how much they mean to one another.

as you slowly pulled away, he instinctively moved forward which made you laugh.

“does this mean we’re something?” you gleamed.

“y/n” he said heavily.

your face dropped once again.

“you’re fucking ridiculous. are you serious levi?! i’m not going to wait for you forever. god knows how long i’ll live, and i won’t be dragged around like a little puppy.” you scolded, furious at yourself for thinking he changed.

you continued to rummage through your clothes and decided that it was enough.

“goodbye levi, i hope when you figure all your shit out you’ll finally be happy. whether it’s with yourself or with petra, but it sure as hell ain’t me.” you tipped your head at him, tears still blinding your eyesight.

if you had looked behind you, you would’ve saw levi crying. it wasn’t dramatic— no, more like tears were slipping that he himself didn’t even notice. this was the life he chose, and he knew he couldn’t get close with anyone. his young self never thought he would’ve found someone to truly care about. and if it meant letting his soulmate go, then so be it.

#attack on titan #levi angst #levi x reader #levi aot #levi fluff #aot fanfiction #aot smut #aot x reader

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wowtobio · 4 years

Note

pls feed me with ur incredible writing. Iwa angst bc I haven't cried in a while lol.

Cheater! Iwaizumi x reader (angst)

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

a/n: haha this made me laugh, ur too kind my writing is not that good so i cannot guarantee tears

It’s been awhile since I wrote my guy iwa and angst, hopefully this doesn’t turn out too bad eheh this is also sort of like an 800 followers special. Thank you all so much for following and reading my works, i cannot express it any other way :)

warning: angst, cursing, slight mentions

Part 1 | Part 2

You expected this to happen, as hard as it is to swallow the bitter truth that threatened to burn down your whole marriage. This man, what happened? The time he would sacrifice in order to spend just some time with you, only now consumed by his company forcing him to work overtime presumably. The words he spoke to you, full of meaning were now void of emotion and as cold and sharp as icicles hanging from the rooftop edge during winter nights. The love and adoration his eyes used to hold catered only for you.

Where did it go?

Suddenly, the golden band adorned with emerald jewels did not shine as brightly as it used too. Though you kept yours on, it seems his own band was often absent. But you bit your lip, afraid to voice out queries that could end up in another pointless argument.

The door shut hard, yet you do not jump from your seat like you used too. Keeping your blank eyes forward staring at the static of the television. No words, no welcomes were heard.

The calming night breeze coming from an open window only served to add more coldness in the living room.

Recently, all the nagging you did would not serve you both justice. You were only worried for your husband, why did it seem like all he did was yell at you? A simple question concerning what was for dinner would always end up in heated words.

“You can eat alone.”

“But, I just wanted to eat dinner with you, I waited so lo-”

“And why should I care? Just leave me be I’m too tired to deal with you right now.”

But, you always seem like you don’t want to deal with me..

Soon, it all ceased to exist. Any conversation or fight in this matter, it all scurried away as fear of more spiteful words would dig deep into your chest and sting greatly.

But tonight was different, you just missed him so much.

Standing slowly, you trudge behind him wordlessly wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face into his broad back. He stands frozen, you wish you could see his facial expression. Iwaizumi’s gaze is casted down at the arms enveloping him.

You guessed your arms were pretty skinny now, when was the last time you even had a proper meal?

You tried to ignore the feminine, floral fragrance that lingered on his button up, a scent you know for sure you did not use.

Minutes passed, what felt like hours. After Iwaizumi snapped out of his state, he easily shrugged you off and continued to your once shared bedroom. And all you could do was hold out your now empty arms and stare at his receding form.

No tears shed, you ran out of them awhile ago. However, that familiar aching pain still stirred deep within your gut.

Another night on the couch it seems.

When was the last time you were happy? Your friends voice concern for your well-being, the sparkle in your eyes now dulled to a mere dull light. Eventually you stopped hearing their distressed voices when you started to decline their offers of going out.

There was no point in forcing yourself to go anywhere anymore. It was more convenient to mask yourself as to not cause anymore worry.

But, this one night you decided to go out. Maybe it was to escape the realms that reminded you of your dying relationship. You texted Iwaizumi, it’s been awhile since you clicked on his contact. And of course, no response. Probably didn’t even glance at the notification.

Whatever, you gulped down another shot, your step wobbled slightly. Things did not change, your friends held the same hidden worries for you.

Was it a coincidence that his best friend was there? I mean he was quite the party animal nowadays. His casual, flirty tone ignored by you. Until you voiced heading home early, not wanting to keep your husband waiting. Oikawa’s eyes darkened, he knew something you didn’t.

And that something was met with you when you quietly open the door to your shared apartment. The thumping of your heart was probably louder than the one heard from your shared bed.

Suddenly, your surroundings were starting to blur in your vision. Was it the alcohol? Or have you finally lost it?

Hands shaking, you grasp the golden doorknob. Nothing to lose now, as you swung open the only barrier hiding the ugly truth. A shriek, a barely audible gasp and a sob.

He didn’t even react, he didn’t scramble the way that busty bitch did when she made futile attempts to pick up her clothing and leave. He didn’t even look at your trembling form.

After the woman hastily left your apartment, taking your dignity along with her. All you could do is silently stand there, hot tears streaming down your pale complexion. Hajime’s eyes, as always casted down at the sheets he committed great sin in.

You make eye contact with him one last time. It was only a second, yet you saw it all. All the lies he hid, the hatred he held for you. He hid it so well, and you were a fool to not notice how obvious it was.

No more, you ran out of the apartment in the same fashion that woman he indulged with did.

Days passed. Weeks as well. No apologies, no contact, no moments of crossings, nothing. This is what your marriage has come too. Months of drowning in tears and alcohol.

The feeling of worthlessness, ugliness, everything negative consumed your being during this dark time. Your phone untouched, flooded with texts and calls from friends and family. But you didn't have the energy to respond back with empty lies. It didn’t matter, out all of those messages his name never popped up.

How could he do this to you? How could he love you to the point of marriage only to ignore you til the downfall? How could he steal everything away from you like this? Your first kiss, your first time, your hand in marriage. And to just take that all away and leave you with absolutely nothing but heartache and painful thoughts.

You pondered this, who knows how long you will continue too. And as you scroll down your social media feed for the first time in awhile, Oikawa’s constant post flooded your timeline, one particular caught your eye. A candid selfie of the pretty setter, your ex-husband and a girl clad in a white sundress and sun hat. The girl had perfect wavy, long brown hair that complimented her hazelnut eyes. A body of a goddess and a beautiful smile. Her delicate and dainty arms wrapped around the bicep of your ex-lover.

Hajime’s face was caught off guard, yet overall he did not seem the least bit effected by the events that happened just months ago.

It broke you, why was he happier now without you? Though he left you all alone to wallow in your own sadness and selfishness.

You did not get it, and you never will. As you sobbed deeply into your arms on that cold night, the stars shone brightly into the room barely enveloping your quivering body, all you could ask yourself is where did it all go wrong?

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

a/n: idk abt y’all but i think the most painful heartbreak is watching someone fall out of love with u. but once again thank you for reading my blogs you guys :’) i seriously cannot thank you enough

masterlist

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi angst #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu headcanons #oikawa tooru #oikawa #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #hajime iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi x reader

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minghaocouture · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x Gender Neutral Reader Genre: Fake Dating AU, Fluff, the tiniest of angst Warning: N/A WC: 3k+

A/N @babiemingoo THIS IS FOR YOU SWEETIE! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND I WUB UUUUUU! <33333 I hope this is okay lol. I have NEVER written a fake dating au before so it might be trash T^T but i hope you like it anyway!

Weddings, most everyone loves them. They’re a time of love and happiness. So when your brother called to tell you that he was finally getting married to his high school sweetheart, you were overjoyed!

“So do I need to mark down a plus one for you? Or are you still single?” You knew in your heart that he was just being an older brother and teasing you, but that didn’t mean it stung any less. So before you could stop yourself you lied.

“Hey, don’t jump to conclusions. I’ve got a...boyfriend.”

“You hesitated. I honestly don’t believe it.” He retorted, chuckling a bit.

“Dude, I said I have a boyfriend so you better put down that I have a plus one.” You ordered, crossing your free arm over your chest as you continued to hold your phone with the opposite one.

That conversation was a week ago, and you had yet to find anyone willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. You’d even asked your lab partner Chan! The boy looked so apologetic when you asked, telling you that his girlfriend would have his head if she found out.

Now here you were, standing outside of your roommate’s door. Hand hesitantly lifted in preparation to knock on the hard word, but you were unable to follow through with the action. You had avoided asking your roommate, Wonwoo, to be your date. After all, it might be awkward and make him uncomfortable and then you might have to find another roommate. You honestly didn’t want that, but at this point he was your only hope.

So swallowing your fear and what little pride you had left, you quickly knocked on his door. It was silent for a moment before you heard his deep voice calling out, giving you permission to enter.

Pushing open the door you leaned against the door frame, eyes glancing over the relatively clean room until they landed on the brunette as he sat at his computer desk. Dressed in a simple pair of sweatpants and a tank top that hung loose on his rather slender frame, his thick brown hair was pushed up out of his face and it definitely looked like he hadn’t brushed it today, while his thick rimmed glasses sat snugly on his nose.

“What’s up?” He questioned, eyeing you in confusion. Usually you did your best to not bother him when he’s in his room, knowing that he was usually either studying or gaming in some form and that if you needed him you should just message him unless it’s an emergency. You weren’t sure if it counted as an emergency but it sure felt like it.

“Hey sorry, but I have a huge favor to ask.”

“No.” The words left his lips before you could even utter your request. Without any care he turned his chair back around to face the computer in front of him, leaving you to stare open mouthed and wide eyed at the black leather of his computer chair.

“I didn’t even get to ask yet!” You exclaimed, taking a few steps into the room and ending up right behind his chair. “You at least have to hear me out!”

“I mean I don’t.” his deep voice muttered as his fingers clacked away on the keyboard, showing that he was fully intent on ignoring you.

“Nunu please! I’ll pay for your half of groceries of a month!”

The clacking stopped and slowly he turned in his chair to fix his gaze upon you.

“Make it two month and I’ll hear you out.”

Two months of groceries just for him to listen to the request, that didn’t even mean he would go through with it. You felt your bank account weep as you let out a deep sigh.

“Fine, two months. So will you listen to me?” His gaze didn’t leave you as he nodded, urging you to continue. “Okay so you know my brother right? Mingyu? Well...he’s getting married in like a week or so and he wants me to go and I-”

“If i have to be your fake boyfriend you better be prepared to do my house chores for at least a month, on top of the groceries.” You knew this wouldn’t be easy but at this point you were desperate.

“Fine! Two months of groceries, a month of your chores. Just please please be my fake boyfriend for my brother’s wedding!”

***

“If we’re late it’s going to be your fault!” You heard Wonwoo call from your shared living room. You were putting the finishing touches on your outfit for the wedding, having gotten out the best outfit for the event. You wanted to make sure you looked fantastic for this. You were also admittedly a bit anxious that either you or Wonwoo would slip up.

Sure you guys had gone through your ‘love story’, about how the two of you moved in together when your mutual friend Seungcheol had suggested it, since he knew you both needed roommates, and how the two of you ended up slowly falling in love over the course of the year. It was basically a fool proof story, basically.

“If you take any longer I’ll just go on my own and enjoy the free food.”

With a groan you made your final adjustments to your attire before rushing out of the room. You weren’t sure that Wonwoo would actually leave you but you weren’t going to take the chance that he would.

Though the sight that met you in the living room was not one you had expected.

Normally when you thought of Wonwoo, you imagined your frumy roommate probably in some kind of oversized sweater, his hair a bit messy and his glasses firmly on display. He wasn’t ugly or anything, but you had never been put into a situation where his attractiveness was fully on display.

Today though, his hair was actually brushed and styled to where the dark brown locks covered just a bit of his forehead. His suit jacket and matching trousers were a rich brown that reminded you of the color of dark chocolate, just a few shades darker than his hair. His pure white shirt was buttoned all the way to his neck and a cross-over tie fit perfectly the finish off his outfit. To your surprised, his glasses were nowhere to be seen and you were fairly sure that this was the first time you had ever seen him with contacts in. Needless to say, you were a bit stunned. This also gave Wonwoo a bit of time to examine you.

“You clean up nice.” He muttered turning away from you so that he could grab your keys out of the bowl next to the door where they were kept. Turning back to you, he tossed them and by some miracle you did in fact catch them.

“Uh...yeah, you do too.” You said, finally catching yourself starting. Quickly you tried to stop the rapid throbbing of your heart but it definitely didn’t want to listen to you. Probably the nerves. “I’m surprised you actually brushed your hair.”

Your words brought a deep chuckle from the man as he followed you out the door, making sure to lock it behind him.

“Well, I’m meeting my significant other’s family for the first time. Gotta make a good impression.”

His words caused a series of butterflies to erupt into your stomach. This was going to be a long day.

***

The ceremony went about as good as expected, your mother basically sobbing out of happiness during the entire ceremony. To keep up appearances, Wonwoo kept your hand laced with his own and to your surprise that was all you could think about. His skin on yours, it was ridiculous how fixated you seemed to be on it.

As the reception began and your brother and his new wife started making the rounds, receiving congratulations and large hugs. As he saw your table, he made a beeline straight for you, pulling you into a tight hug and lifting your feet off of the ground in the process. Either you were hearing things or that for some reason caused Wonwoo to laugh ever so slightly.

“Okay okay you got your hug Gyu, put me down.” Your elder brother cackled before planting your feet firmly back onto the floor. As soon as he let go, his eyes were on your ‘boyfriend’. He gave Wonwoo a good once over, obviously sizing him up.

“You know, when they told me they had a boyfriend I thought they had made you up.” He declared with a hearty laugh before extending his hand and introducing himself. “I’m Mingyu, it’s nice to meet you. Wish that one had mentioned you sooner.”

Wonwoo took his hand and firmly shook it, a soft smile on his face.

“Well, they told me all about you. I’m Wonwoo, by the way.” This part was surprisingly truthful. You had given him a run down of your family so that he wouldn’t be caught off guard by anyone coming up to meet him. It was better than letting him go in blind.

“Well, you better take care of them or I’ll be on your ass. I’m the only one that gets to mess with my sibling? Got that?”

“Mingyu, are you seriously giving him the shovel talk...at your own wedding?”

Mingyu looked over at you, almost appalled that you would think any less of him.

“Of course! I’m still your big brother, I’m not on vacation just because I’m at my wedding. Besides, my darling will understand.” The mention of his beloved wife seemed to change his whole demeanor. You of course knew his wife, they had been dating for quite a few years and she had been to so many family gatherings it was almost like they had been married before this.

With a laugh, you gave him a quick shove.

“Well you better hurry back, or she’ll get bored without you.” Rushing him away was mostly so that he would lay off his whole big brother routine. Glancing over at Wonwoo though, he didn’t seem to mind. In fact you could almost describe the smile on his face as a fond one. It was...nice.

As your brother left, you caught Wonwoo’s gaze flickering towards the dance floor. He didn’t say anything though and a silence fell over the two of you. It was strange, back at home you never had any problems talking to him. Yet here it seemed like your throat had completely closed up, no words able to leave it.

“He seemed nice.”

“Oh, Mingyu? He’s an ass, but he’s honestly the best brother I could ask for. Honestly, you two would probably get along pretty well.” You explained, thinking about how their personalities would probably compliment each other pretty well. This led to...other thoughts, thoughts of Wonwoo coming to family gatherings as if he were actually your boyfriend. It wasn’t a bad thought in the slightest, but...it was a thought you were hoping to avoid.

He hummed softly in agreement, his eyes once again gazing back over at the dance floor. This time, swallowing your anxiety and uncertainty you spoke up again.

“Did you...want to dance?” Instantly his eyes were on you and you quickly covered for yourself, voice quieting down to a whisper so that the only one who would hear you would be him. “I mean...it would probably be good at making this more believable. I also think I see my mom coming over.” You muttered. Meeting your mother wouldn’t be a bad thing, but it was definitely something you wanted to put off.

Not answering your invitation, Wonwoo stood and extended his hand out to you. His dark brown eyes bore into yours. Glancing over at your advancing mother, you quickly took his hand and he led you out onto the dance floor. The slow melody playing through the speakers surprisingly had your heart racing, or was that caused by the hand that now gently gripped your waist? For your sanity and the sake of your home situation, you decided to say it was the music.

The music seemed to flow through the two of you as your bodies slowly grew closer and closer until you were chest to chest. It felt like time had all but stopped around the two of you, all you could see was Jeon Wonwoo, your nerdy roommate and the man who was somehow sweeping you off your feet (metaphorically, of course). It was right there, in his arms, that you realized what a bad idea this was. Yet that realization didn’t stop you from resting your head against Wonwoo’s shoulder, eyes drifting closed as the two of you swayed to the melody.

“Can I kiss you?”

All at once things seemed to snap back into place as you heard his voice. It was a simple question, but it still had your heart racing. You lifted your head so that you were able to stare into his eyes, questioning his intentions.

“Your mom has been staring at us, I think she’s expecting it.” He muttered, his voice low so that you were the only one who could hear him. It was for the lie...he didn’t actually want to kiss you, you were foolish for getting your hope up. You couldn’t find you voice to respond so you simply nodded your head.

Taking this affirmation, he removed one of his hands from your waist and hesitantly cupped your cheek. You felt heat rush to your face as he inched forwards, almost as if someone had put him into slow motion. Then all at once his slightly chapped lips were on yours and it felt like your heart had stopped. For a second you even forgot to kiss back, but it only lasted a moment. Your arms wrapping tighter around his neck to pull him a bit closer, deepening the kiss.

Then all too quickly, he pulled back and you didn’t stop him. After all, this was just for show it wasn’t like he was kissing you because he wanted to. The thought caused your heart to clench inside your chest.

“I’ll be right back.” Without giving him a chance to respond, you slipped from his arms and power walked out of the reception hall to the bathroom. Maybe there you could get a clear head and remember your place.

You weren’t sure how long you were in the bathroom, but by the time you returned to the reception hall Wonwoo had returned to your previous seats. This time though, he was accompanied by your mother, and they seemed to be laughing and having a chat. As you approached you heard your mother speaking.

“Now Wonwoo dear, I’m surprised that my child hasn’t mentioned you before! The two of you seem so in love that I’m just shocked!” She exclaimed, obviously amping the drama. She was your mother after all. Wonwoo let out a small chuckle, his deep voice filling your ears despite it being soft.

“I asked them not to. I wasn’t sure that you would approve of me, so we decided to take things slowly. I realize that’s probably a pretty crappy excuse but, I really love them. So I just wanted to make sure I did things right.”

That...was not the reasoning you guys had decided upon. He was supposed to say that you were nervous or something like that, put the blame on you. You felt conflicted hearing his answer, but you weren’t really given time to think about it when your mother noticed you closing in.

“Oh darling! I’m so glad you decided to bring Wonwoo tonight. He is such a doll, and you better be bringing him to our family Christmas!” She declared, standing to pull you into a tight hug before turning her attention back to Wonwoo. “And you don’t have to worry about missing out with your family. We celebrate on the 24th so people can visit other families on Christmas day.”

“I’ll be sure to be there ma’am.”

“Well I’ll leave you two love birds alone. No helicopter moming for me tonight.” With a quick kiss on your cheek and a small “love you” your mother was gone.

Taking a seat back down at your table, you stared at the decor. A small candle inside of a little glass orb with a circular opening on the top. The way the light flickered kept your mind focused.

“How much did you hear?” He questioned, you couldn’t bring yourself to look over at him, your heart was pounding far too quickly and you were almost certain he could hear it.

“Uhh, the whole part where you ‘wanted to do things right’.”

You heard a small sigh escaping from him and your eyes left the candle, watching as he ran a hand through his hair before looking back over at you.

“I guess this is a pretty lousy way to tell you that I do actually have feelings for you. Isn’t it?”

“I mean, kind of? But it’s cool, I did a pretty bad job of expressing my feelings too.” with a small laugh, you reached over and took his hand and laced his fingers with yours. Your eyes met and you saw the sweetest smile erupt onto his face.

“Can I kiss you again?” His words came out soft, barely audible over the music in the room.

“Only if I get to call you my boyfriend for real.”

“I think I can make that deal.”

#caratwritersclub #kdiarynet #kdiner #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt scenario #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagine #wonwoo scenario

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feferipeixes · 3 years

Text

Still Alive

After Dipper learns that this whole "being a demon" thing means he's going to live forever, he and Mabel talk about the future, and what he's going to do when everyone he knows dies. It's not until much later that he starts to realize that they'll never truly die -- just like he'll never truly get sick of ice cream.

Thanks to @toothpastecanyon for beta reading!

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

“If you could choose one project to do and be guaranteed that you’d finish it eventually, no matter how long it took, what would you do?”

“Hmm....” Mabel replied, itching her scalp with a plastic hand clapping toy. “Oh! I’d get my hands on the Ultimate Magical Shimmering Rainbow-splosion Fluffykins doll! There’s only five hundred in existence -- they’re super duper rare!”

“No no no,” Dipper countered. “That’s too easy, and too short. All you’d need to do is set up some eBay alerts, bribe a few people, maybe sneak into the FluffCorp factory building. Not even -- you could just snap your fingers -” (he snapped his fingers for effect, causing a puff of blue flame to momentarily appear) “and conjure it.”

“I can’t -” Mabel started, but Dipper kept talking over her.

“I’m talking about something really unprecedented. Something that would take a long time, something you wouldn’t ordinarily be able to do. Something that would change the world.”

“Oh, I get it now!” Mabel tossed the toy aside and flipped over, letting her head dangle off the end of her bed. “I’d call you a dork a million times.”

Her brother scowled at her and jumped out of his chair and into the air. “Hey!” he yelped over Mabel’s laughter. “I'̼͚̻͓͎̲m̡̖̰̘̣͎ ̖͇̕n̛̻ơ̰t̷̟͇̱ ̝̺̻a̳̦ ̪̟̮͖ḑor̞͓̭k̟̤̖!̛͍ And even if I was, that wouldn’t take you very long! At, uh, a rate of, let’s see, you could probably say ‘you’re a dork’ at least 30 times per minute, and if you didn’t ever sleep…”

Mabel watched the red tinge fade away from his features as he paced around in mid air, doing math in his head. “Yeah. You’re totally not a dork, Sir Maths-a-lot. You sure showed me.”

“- It wouldn’t even take you a month,” Dipper finished. “Besides, how would that change the world?”

“Hmm, well if I call you a dork enough times,” Mabel answered, “maybe my big scary demon brother would decide he doesn’t want to be a dork and instead he’d do something with his cool magic powers that ends up making the world a better place!”

“Mabel?”

“Yeah bro-bro?”

Dipper frowned at her. “Your face is turning purple.”

“Touche,” she replied, rubbing her chin very seriously. She slid the rest of the way off the bed and clutched her throbbing head. “Owww…”

“That's what you get for giving me dumb answers,” Dipper quipped, arms crossed.

“You mean for giving you fun answers,” Mabel corrected, and then winced at another sting of pain. “Why are you asking me these weird questions anyway?”

A panicked look flickered across Dipper's face, and his feet touched the ground. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

Mabel, still massaging her temples, pushed herself semi-upright to give her brother a look. “Come on. ‘What would you do if you had all the time in the world?’ ’What movie could you watch a million times and never get sick of it?’ ’Do you think Stancakes have a shelf life longer than 100 years?’ Something is clearly up.”

Dipper giggled awkwardly (was there any other way he could giggle?) and stared at the ceiling. “Nothing. It's nothing!”

“What, are you really not gonna tell me?” Mabel pushed. ”What if I tickle you?”

Her brother recoiled in horror. “You wouldn't.”

There was a tense silence as the two twins considered whose was the stronger will: the expert fighter with a plethora of torture tactics at hand, or the demon. Mabel narrowed her eyes. Dipper sharpened his claws. No words were exchanged. The room was perfectly still.

Mabel jolted forward half a foot and Dipper shrieked.

“Okay, you win, just don't tickle me!” he begged, throwing his hands up. “I'll tell you!”

“Good,” Mabel replied. “Things were about to get ugly. Spill it, bro-bro.”

Dipper sighed. He dusted himself off -- a habit he'd gotten into lately even though he was pretty sure nothing he could do would make his orange shirt and vest look any less weird with his new body.

“Remember… Remember the thing I told you the other day, when I had that infodump and learned more about my powers?”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “You found out that your omniscience tells you whenever anyone farts.”

“No!” he squeaked. “Although, you are right, it does do that and it's annoying, especially because now I can smell it from like a mile away.”

He wrinkled his nose, staring off into space for a minute before shaking his head. “But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about… how I'm never going to die.”

It had been about a week since Mabel had walked into the living room to find Dipper writhing and sobbing on the floor. She remembered the way he’d looked right through her, how he hadn’t seemed to even notice her presence when she sat him upright, how he kept muttering “still alive, still alive” over and over again, and it hadn’t made any sense to her then, but when he finally snapped out of it and was able to vocalize what he’d seen…

She shuddered at the memory of it.

“Since then,” Dipper continued, “I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to deal with it. And I had this idea that I could come up with things to do to fill the time.”

“What, so you’re going to plan out your whole life?” Mabel asked, incredulous. “Let me guess -- you’re making a checklist? Hah! Can you imagine?”

She giggled, and then he reached into his vest and pulled out oh sweet Moses.

“I’ve already got some good stuff on here,” Dipper said, ignoring or not noticing his sister’s flabbergasted expression. “I’m gonna learn how to make a sword by hand. I’m gonna watch all of Tiger Fist backwards to see if there are any hidden messages. And there’s this spa getaway weekend that the Multibear invited me on -- shoot, wait, he’s gonna be dead by then, umm…”

Mabel raised an eyebrow as her brother started scribbling on the checklist. “Dipper. This is obsessive even for you.”

“What would you know?” he shot back. “You’re not the one who’s immortal.”

“I know how to have this thing called ‘fun’,” she replied. “Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

He grumbled at her, eyes locked on his checklist. He couldn’t believe he forgot that the Multibear spa trip thing was a limited time offer. That kind of stuff was slipping his mind more and more these days, like the time Mabel asked him to play cards with her and he was so busy alphabetizing his Sibling Brothers books that he neglected to respond to her for three days.

Although, now that he thought about it, that might’ve been before he became a demon.

Something damp and cold hit Dipper in the face, and he spluttered in surprise. “What was that?” he shouted. One of his flailing hands happened to close on the object as it fell, and he held it up to the light.

“It’s a popsicle, doofus!” Mabel said. She’d fetched two from the minifridge in their room while he was distracted, and was busy licking away at her own, which was chocolate. “Remember those?”

He wrinkled his nose. “I don’t have ti-”

“I’ll throw another one at you,” Mabel interrupted.

“- I guess I could have some ice cream,” Dipper finished.

He floated over and sat on the floor next to his sister. He removed the paper from the popsicle and gave the object a sniff. The aroma of orange and vanilla caressed his sensitive nose, and he realized how long it’d been since he had any sugar. Without a second moment’s thought, he threw his head back, stretching both his neck and jaw further than they were supposed to go, and placed the entire popsicle -- stick and all -- into his gaping maw.

“See, what’d I tell you?” Mabel said, smirking at the satisfaction on her brother’s face. She reached up with her popsicle to scratch an itch on her nose, and then went right back to eating it. “I always know what to do with my time. I wonder what it’d be like if I lived forever…”

Dipper eyed the glob of chocolate ice cream on the bridge of her nose. “The world would probably be a much more chaotic place.”

“You mean a much BETTER place!” she declared. “Everyone would have fun and ice cream all the time!”

He grinned. “You’re right. It would be a much better place. Because my best friend would be there.” Mabel looked at him, a twinkle in her eye and ice cream all over her face, and his grin fell away. “I guess this is what you felt like when I said I was going to be Grunkle Ford’s apprentice, huh. I’m such a shitty bro-”

Mabel at once had her hands on his face, squishing his cheeks together so he’d stop talking. “Nuh-uh. Bro-bro you’re gonna stop hating on yourself Right. Now.” She was still smiling, but her tone had twisted into something harsh. “Okay, sure, I’m gonna die someday and then you’re gonna have to figure out what to do on your own. But I’m not ready to think about that and neither are you! We’re hecking 13 years old! We should act like it, while we’ve still got the chance. Please don’t make me think about dying yet.”

Dipper winced, and she let go of him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“S’okay.” She patted him on the back, harder than he’d been expecting, and he was so surprised that he coughed up the popsicle stick he’d eaten earlier.

For a minute, neither of them said a word. Dipper lifted a hand to his face, where he felt something sticky.

“You got chocolate on my face.”

“Yeah. On your vest, too.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “What are you going to do about it?”

He looked at his hands, still small and smooth like a child. With a thought, he bathed both hands in a blue flame, searing away the chocolate and leaving them clean, just the way he liked them. Then he cleared his throat.

“I’m gonna chase you around the house,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Smiling ear-to-ear, Mabel jumped up and ran to the wall. “You’re nuts if you think you can catch me, even with demon powers!” Cackling, she threw the door open, which bathed her in a blinding white light.

Dipper thought about his infodump from the other day, thought about the part he hadn’t told Mabel, the tiny glimpse he’d gotten of his sister when she’d been old, pale, and still -- too horribly, horribly still. It was just a glimpse, but it haunted him -- the thought that one day there wouldn’t be a single trace left of Mabel Pines anywhere in the world. She was right -- as always -- that he was obsessing, that he was letting a thought hurt him when it didn’t have to.

He wasn’t ready to think about growing up yet, either. No matter how strong the pull to obsess was, he had to find a way to fight it.

“You can’t get away from me!” Dipper roared, and flew after his sister into the future.

---

"Wahoo! That was a great idea -- getting ice cream -- Dipper! I feel so much better! You always know how to cheer me up."

Dipper, clad in his usual human disguise, collapsed onto the bench with a grunt. "I dunno, this stuff tastes off. You’d think with all the technological advancements since the Transcendence that they’d have found a way to perfect ice cream."

His friend Arin, who was somehow managing to carry five popsicles in two hands, nodded with a serious look on her face. "Yeah. Oh sure a lot of old timey diseases were eradicated and we've got flying cars and stuff. But not one of these ice pops actually tastes like orange!"

She stared at him for a beat longer, then finally broke into snickers. One of the popsicles fell out of her hand, and a stubby arm immediately shot out from under the bench to catch it.

His face twisting in confusion, Dipper bent over to look under the bench. There were two gnomes right beneath him -- one of them hissed when they saw him, making him jump and making Arin laugh even harder.

"Ha-ha, okay," Dipper said, hand on his chest like his heart was racing. Despite this, he couldn't keep a small smile from creeping onto his face.

So much had changed in the last five hundred years, and yet so much else had stayed the same. Wars were fought, societies had formed and collapsed, but people were still people, and Dipper was still Dipper. Even though he’d had more than a few incidents where his demonic nature overcame his humanity, he always seemed to land back on his feet again eventually. Sometimes all it took was a friend.

Right now, his friend was a girl named Arin who he’d saved when someone else had tried to sacrifice her to him. He remembered how grateful she’d been, how she gave him a hug despite him being a void black monster splattered with blood, and how she then spent 20 minutes chatting with him about dragons even though she’d just had a very traumatic experience. She seemed, in other words, cool. So he later presented himself to her as fellow undergraduate student Dipper, without revealing that it was him who’d saved her that night, and they’d been good friends ever since.

Arin sat next to him and started taking bites out of her ice pops. "Yknow, the Transcendence-era wasn't that great," she said, although with her mouth busy it sounded like she was drowning.

Dipper's brow creased. "What do you mean?"

She gulped down the hunk of ice in her mouth. "No offense -- I know you're totally obsessed with Transcendence history stuff -- but that was soooo long ago. There's no one left who was alive back then, except like vampires I guess. But vampires don't eat ice cream so it doesn't matter."

Dipper bit back the urge to say "I know a vampire who loves ice cream as long as there's blood in it". What came out instead was "So?"

"So!" Arin shoved an entire popsicle into her mouth, and then had to take a minute to cough up the stick. "S-so," she continued amid gasps, "no one knows for sure what ice cream tasted like in the year 2012. And that includes you, Mr. Argues-With-The-Teacher! For all we know, old timey ice cream tasted like sawdust!"

Dipper considered his chocolate popsicle, which he's barely looked at since the first taste. "I guess you're right." He gave it another wary lick.

It didn't taste like chocolate the way he remembered it, but it was close enough.

"Do you ever think," he asked, unable to meet his friend's eyes, "about all the stuff that used to exist but doesn't anymore? All the ideas and food and... people?"

Arin groaned. "Is that what this is about? My best friend of the past 2 years -- secretly one of those 'I was born in the wrong century' people?"

"No!" he shot back, before taking another lick of the popsicle. "I just think it's sad that stuff goes away and no one's there to remember it."

"Well, maybe no one remembers that stuff, but that doesn't mean it's forgotten."

Dipper looked up. "Huh?"

Arin scarfed down her remaining two popsicles, which had begun melting onto her hand. "People die and ideas change and the world moves on. It happens constantly! But those people influenced their friends and their family and their coworkers. Who in turn influenced other people. Those people might be dead, but they live forever in the words and actions of everyone who came after."

Dipper just stared at her, jaw dropped. "Where did that come from?" he managed to get out. "Five seconds ago you were gagging on frozen sugar! You're not allowed to be this insightful!"

"Sugar rushes always make me super thoughtful," Arin said, patting him on the back. "It's 'cause I'm a genius. I'm probably gonna crash hard later though. Also by the way your ice cream is totally melting."

"Ah, shoot." Dipper hurriedly tried to catch the melting ice cream with his tongue, and Arin giggled again.

"The point is," she said, "if you've always got your head stuck in a history textbook, you're gonna miss out on the present. If you're always thinking about the dead guy who invented ice cream, you won't be around to eat any with me."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said. He felt an itch on his nose, so he wiggled it. "Thanks, Arin. I feel better- why are you looking at me like that?"

Arin was indeed staring at him with a perplexed look on her face as if she was not the one who'd just swallowed a metric ton of ice cream. "Why do you do that?"

Dipper frowned. "Do what? AGH-"

He yelped as Arin whipped out her phone and snapped a photo of him, blinding him with the flash even though it was a bright, sunny day out. "What was that for?"

She didn't say anything, simply handed him her phone. It certainly was not the best photo ever taken of him. It was blurry, his hair was a mess, and his mouth was contorted in shock.

On the bridge of his nose was a dollop of chocolate ice cream.

"You do it every time we get ice cream," Arin said, taking her phone back. "I mean, you call me weird, but I'm not the one always itching my nose with an ice pop."

"Oh," Dipper said. He paused and looked at his fingers, which were all chocolate-y too now. "I didn't even notice I was doing it."

"Suuure, weirdo," Arin chuckled. She stood up, wobbling a bit as she did so, and steadied herself on the back of the bench. "Listen dude, this was fun but I think the sugar's starting to hit me. I'm gonna head back to the dorm before I collapse. Wanna hang out later?"

"Definitely!" Dipper replied. "You should get some rest! Try not to give psychological counseling to anyone on the way -- you're gonna burn out your brain!"

He waved at his friend as she staggered away, and watched her until she turned a corner around a building. Then he sighed, and wiped his nose with his finger.

"Hey Mabel," he whispered, looking at the chocolate he'd collected. "It’s me, Dipper.”

A passing jogger sent a pointed look at the young man who was talking to his finger, but Dipper ignored them.

“I seem to remember you saying something to me about living forever. You said that one day you’d be gone, and I’d have to find a way to carry on alone.” He thought about Arin’s words, and felt something swell in his chest. “But I guess you’re still alive after all.”

He sniffed, and looked up at the sun as it started to bathe the sky in the pinks and purples of evening. He saw people in flying cars, people rushing through pneumatic tubes, people high fiving on jetpack because it was a wonderful day to be out. And he thought about what Arin said; thought about all of the sicknesses he'd seen friends and family afflicted by that no one ever had to suffer from again. He thought about all the preters he saw walking freely and happily on the campus, without worrying that they'd be attacked.

"And you were right," he said. "The world is a better place."

Dipper licked the remaining chocolate off his fingers, and got up. As he headed back toward his dorm room, he wondered what other legacies his loved ones had left in him.

(AO3 link)

#gravity falls #transcendence au #dipper pines #alcor the dreambender #mabel pines #fic #my stuff #long post

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