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#if you don't know the answer could you please reblog??? pretty please
sleeplessant · 6 months
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Hey Tolkien people and history buffs of Tumblr, I'm in need of your assistance. Does anybody know if there was an actual historical inspiration (or many) to the narrow, no rails, stone bridge of Khazad-dûm?
For context, I'm trying to use it as an example in my theoretical physics dissertation on the dynamics of pedestrians moving in a single line, but I've already met with some resistance from advisors with No Taste. All my google searches have conducted to analyses of the effectiveness of the Khazad-dûm scene in the book & movie, instead of an analysis of the actual "physical" bridge.
I know I could use other modern examples from construction scaffolds or bus and plane boarding/exiting schemes for single-line movement, but that's boring. Uninspired. Everyone does it. What I want is a badass illustration from The Lord of the Rings, and a JRR Tolkien quote on my very theoretical, so abstract that is basically useless, physics dissertation.
A physicist calls for aid.
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phdguides · 6 months
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9 things you should consider before pursuing a PhD Degree
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Have you completed your postgraduate studies and are now considering adding another feather to your hat with a PhD degree?
PhD is a higher level of qualification that will not be as easy a route as other degrees. You have heard similar statements from many people, and they’re probably not incorrect.
There are numerous factors to consider before diving into the world of academia. As a result, we’ve written this article to help you clarify your perspective on PhD studies.
After speaking with PhD candidates, we identified nine significant factors that you should consider before deciding to join the elite society of scholars.
9 essential things to consider before pursuing a PhD degree:
Be completely sure about pursuing a PhD degree
This is, without a doubt, the most important factor to consider before pursuing a PhD. You must be absolutely certain before embarking on this path, as it will not be an easy one.
No, I’m not trying to scare you, but I do want to warn you that researching for a PhD is a time-consuming and stressful process. Instead of studying what is already available, you must provide a new solution to the topic you have chosen.
As a result, this will be a rollercoaster ride, and you should only consider it if you are willing to invest a significant amount of time and are extremely passionate about finding a solution in your desired field.
Choose topic
Spend some time considering the topic or subjects in which you want to pursue your PhD. Shortlist the topics that interest you, discuss them with professors and research students, and gather all the information you can.
This will allow you to gain a thorough understanding of the topics on which you wish to focus your PhD research and help you make an informed decision. It is important to choose a topic about which you are passionate.
Because you will be researching it for the next 4 to 5 years, so it should be something you’re interested in, not something you’re not.
Choose supervisor
Throughout your PhD, your supervisor will be your primary point of contact. He or she will advise, mentor, and assist you in your research.
As a result, it is essential that you select a supervisor who is an expert in your chosen field rather than someone with broad knowledge of the subject. Only if your supervisor is well-versed in the subject will he or she be able to guide you effectively.
It will be difficult for you to complete your doctorate on time if they have to search or read for themselves first. Research thoroughly and only approaches the supervisor for your PhD degree when you are certain, as the supervisor influences not only your research but also your career beyond your PhD.
Choose university
Not every university offers a PhD in the subject or topic of your choice. Besides the location of the university also matter whether it is feasible for your research or not. Furthermore, where do you want to pursue your PhD from?
This is also an important question to answer if you want to pursue your PhD in India or abroad. If travelling abroad is what interests you, you also have to choose a country as well.
You must also consider the scholarships and admissions process of the university to which you wish to apply. After collecting all of your data, determine which universities you are eligible for and apply accordingly.
How you are going to pay
Let’s be realistic here. Doing a PhD is a time-consuming job that requires a lot of resources to conduct research, as well as funding for these resources, admission fees, tuition fees, travel, and so on.
Working full-time while pursuing a PhD is a pipe dream that is difficult to realize. So the question is how will you manage your finances?
There could be two possibilities. First and foremost, you must have a family who supports you and can financially fund you. Second, you can apply for various PhD scholarships offered by various national and international institutes.
You can learn about PhD scholarships by visiting the UGC portal or by visiting the page of the specific fellowship. Check the eligibility requirements and apply accordingly.
Make a schedule
After you’ve completed all of the preceding tasks, the next step is to be organized. You will conduct research and will need to read and comprehend a great deal of data.
As a result, it is always preferable to create a proper schedule of what you intend to do first, the experiments and surveys you intend to conduct, and so on.
This will allow you to organize your research and avoid ambiguity. You can better manage your time and even find time to work on your thesis.
Take careful notes
You may have a fantastic memory, but with so much information, there is a good chance you will overlook some facts. That is why it is always a good idea to take notes.
It will make your work much easier and will be of great assistance when writing your dissertation and thesis. Take notes on everything, even the seemingly insignificant details.
You will need a lot of data to back up your research, so don’t skip anything and collect everything. You can always fine-tune it later.
Create a network
You’re working on your PhD, so you’ll be meeting a lot of people for research or other purposes. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by. Reach out to people from different fields and create a network.
Having a network of like-minded individuals and industry experts is always beneficial. Don’t limit yourself; instead, push the envelope and include people in your network.
After all, pursuing a PhD does not imply focusing solely on research, but also on the overall development of your personality.
Keep your work-life balance
A PhD is a full-time job with no leaves. There will be no weekends or set times to be free, and you may feel guilty for not doing certain things even after working so hard.
However, you must exercise caution. You must understand that taking breaks is essential for staying motivated and energized. You don’t have to isolate yourself from everyone because taking time for yourself and your loved ones is completely appropriate. You don’t need to pressurize yourself.
Conclusion
If you have read all of the points and still think you can achieve your doctorate goal. You should definitely go ahead with it. However, if you have any doubts, you should reconsider your decision. Because PhD study will require a full-time commitment, you should only commit when you are fully prepared.
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stylesispunk · 20 days
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"You're always on my mind"
Joel Miller x f!reader.
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summary: You are Joel's reason to live and he is yours.
word count: 3k
warnings: some fluff and heavy angst.
a/n: I'm still on my writing break, but I couldn't take this one out of my head, so you have it here. I don't want to go into details because it would spoil the whole fic, but this is pretty much based on a movie, and by the name and the song, you may get the idea which one is it. Reblogs and comments are appreciated, so please come here and tell me your thoughts. Happy reading 💌
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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Finding such beautiful things in a world like this was not an easy thing to do. In a world like this, there was no spare room for distractions but survival.
In a tarnished world, you were a rose blooming from frozen ground, when neither the coldness of the cryptic winter could end your sweetness.
You were there even when your heart broke at the sight of him, defeated and lost without his Sarah; without the tiny baby he raised, he died in his arms that night of September.
You were there when he became cold, and Machiavellian, a distant ghost of the sweet man with the gleamy brown eyes that smiled at you without a warning, was just off and gone.
And you were broken for him, anxious and afraid of him letting his life go away because the pain of tightening his chest might have been stronger than his love for you.
He was hurting you by hurting himself, and he knew it. He knew he was hurting you; he was aware of the pain he was causing just by looking at your somber gaze, lost in state. Yet he couldn't care or see beyond his own pain. He had lost his daughter and his baby, and he was losing you as you slipped through his fingers.
He had tried to end his life, but he failed. He was going to leave you behind, and he didn’t think about it. He had decided he was going to die and find solace in the thought that he would be reunited with his daughter in a peaceful world while leaving you in a tarnished reality full of monsters and nightmares. Alone with your fears and pain suffocating your lungs. Alone, just by yourself, as if he wasn't the only reason you had to survive.
After the bullet rubbed the skin of his temple, you became silent. You weren’t able to look at the scar marked on his skin, let alone look at his eyes.
And Joel’s heart was constricted against his ribs. Once he failed, he woke up from his trance, and he became aware that he hadn’t been looking after you as he should, but you were silent and you were on his mind.
You weren’t talking, but he knew you were broken because of him.
One day, you were coughing, and Joel's heart contracted against his ribs, and his breath stopped as he listened to your complaints.
"You're sick," he said, looking at you, pacing angrily at him mostly.
Silence.
"You should drink water or
"Or one of those things is going to come after us, I know," you replied without giving a look.
“Do you want to get yourself?"
"Killed? Yes, maybe I do want that." Your voice was motionless, as your eyes kept staring at the flames from the fire flying away to the sky.
"Don't you ever say that; you hear me?"
Silence, defeating silence.
"Answer when I talk to you, please.” He looked for a glimpse of the spark that used to adorn your gaze. Joel's voice trembled with emotion as he stepped closer to you.
"You can't give up," he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.
You turned away from him, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. The fire crackled softly in the background, casting flickering shadows across the walls of your makeshift shelter.
“You were going to give up,” you whispered once you weren’t facing him.
Joel's heart sank at your words, the weight of them heavy in the air between you. He reached out a hand, hesitating, before gently resting it on your shoulder.
"I... I know," he admitted, his voice barely audible over the crackling of the fire. "I was lost. I was so consumed by my own pain that I couldn't see beyond it. But seeing you... seeing how much I've hurt you... it's woken me up."
You felt his touch, gentle over your skin, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him. The wounds were still raw, and the pain was too fresh.
"I'm sorry," Joel whispered, his voice filled with remorse. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I promise to do better. To be better."
Silence hung heavy between you, but it wasn't the suffocating silence of before. It was a silence tinged with possibility and the hope of redemption.
Slowly, tentatively, you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign of sincerity.
"You tried to kill yourself, Joel!" You called out "You are in pain, but I am too! Sarah was mine too; maybe not by blood, but she was my daughter too." You sobbed, not being able to contain the tears from spilling. "You were going to leave me alone. Here and-"
He cut you off by pressing his lips against you, expressing all the love he held on his chest and on his whole body for you.
"I love you; I love you; I love you," he murmured against your lips, recomforting, "I'm sorry."
As Joel's lips met yours, a flood of emotions washed over you: love, sorrow, forgiveness, and hope. His kiss was a silent confession, a promise to be there for you, to fight alongside you, no matter what challenges lay ahead.
Tears mingled with the warmth of his embrace as you melted into his arms, feeling the weight of the world begin to lift from your shoulders. In that moment, you realized that, despite the pain and the struggles, there was still beauty to be found in the love you shared.
"I love you too," you whispered against his lips, your voice trembling with emotion. "I forgive you."
Joel pressed his forehead against yours, holding your face in his palms with such a delicate touch. "We keep each other alive," he murmured.
"We keep each other alive," you echoed softly, the weight of his words sinking in.
He kept the promise. He would live for you, and you would live for him; you were each other's reason to stay alive in a mad world.
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With time, he let his guard down. Settling in a place like Jackson, in a world like this, it seemed like a dream and a nightmare at the same time. There were people laughing, wearing nice clothes, and sleeping under a safe roof, and yes, it was nice, but Joel didn't want the conformity to ruin his careful routine.
But he couldn't help it. It was impossible to resist his sights in the mornings when the first rays of sunshine peeked through the window, directly at you on your side of the bed. He was astonished by you, by the effortless beauty of your creases and your ends, by your peaceful demeanor, next to the warmth he would provide. 
While his achy bones and silver hair reminded him that he was getting old, you looked the same, as if time and pain never took their toll on you.
"You always do that," you murmured, your voice drained from sleep.
"Do what?" was his question, smiling.
"Staring," you blinked your eyes open, trying to wash your sleep away. "It's creepy"
"I love watching you sleep, so I can remember what you thought the day was."
You chuckled; the sound resonated in Joel's ears.
"Sorry if it creeps you out," Joel said, his smile softening. "I just... I can't help it. You're beautiful, even when you're asleep."
You rolled your eyes playfully, reaching out to tousle his hair affectionately. "You're such a sap, Joel."
He laughed, leaning into your touch. "Maybe I am. But I mean it. You're the reason I’m alive.”
Your smile dropped. “Don’t say that.”
Joel's expression softened, realizing he may have touched a sensitive nerve. He gently took your hand in his, his eyes searching yours with sincerity.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly. "But it's true. You've been my anchor through the storm, the light in the darkness. Without you, I don't know where I'd be."
A tiny smile graced your lips as you looked at him, studying his face, the creases on his forehead, and the silver hair growing. Time had hurt Joel, but it made him look beautiful to your eyes, and you felt a sadness within your body.
“What do you want to do today?” Joel asked, smiling at you.
You took a moment to compose yourself, letting Joel's words sink in before responding. Despite the weight of his declaration, you knew his love for you was genuine, and it filled you with warmth.
"I don't know," you replied, returning his smile. "Maybe we could take a walk around the town? It's been a while since we've explored together."
Joel nodded in agreement, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "That sounds like a great idea. It'll be nice to spend some time outside, away from these walls.”
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Joel didn't like how people ignored him. His protective instincts kicked in as he noticed the way some people in the town seemed to ignore your presence. He tightened his grip on your hand in a gesture of solidarity and support. Even though he knew that you were the only one who could see him, he couldn't bear to see you being overlooked and dismissed by others.
“You seemed tense,” you joked, nudging his neck with your nose as you walked.
Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your attempt to lighten the mood, grateful for your ability to find humor even in difficult situations.
“Yeah, well, I hate how people look at me as if I were," he replied, his voice tinged with warmth as he squeezed your hand gently.
“You know why,” you whispered, mostly to yourself.
His gaze lingered on you for a moment before turning his attention back to the path ahead.
Just then, Tommy noticed Joel walking and approached him with a friendly smile.
"Hey, Brother! Where are you off to?" Tommy called out, his voice breaking through the silent atmosphere in Joel’s little world.
Joel glanced at Tommy, offering a small smile in return. "Just taking a walk," he replied, gesturing the way.
Tommy's smile widened as he nodded, noticing Joel’s cheerful humor. "Nice to see you out and about.” He downed his head for a moment. “Are you okay, right?”
Joel looked at Tommy for a moment, waiting for the words to come out of his lips: “Better than ever.”
"Yeah, Tommy, I'm doing alright," Joel replied, his voice laced with false cheerfulness. "Just enjoying the day."
Tommy nodded, though a hint of skepticism flickered in his eyes. "Good to hear, Joel. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."
With that, Tommy bid them farewell, leaving Joel to grapple with the weight of his secret once more. As they resumed their walk, Joel couldn't shake the feeling of isolation that gnawed at him, knowing that no matter how much he longed for connection,.
“Don’t be mad. He’s just worried,” you said, picking up on Joel’s behavior.
Joel sighed softly, grateful for your understanding and support. He knew you were right; Tommy meant well, and his concern was genuine. Yet the weight of his secret still pressed heavily on Joel's shoulders, a constant reminder of the barrier that separated him from the rest of the world.
"I know," Joel murmured, his voice tinged with sadness. "I just wish I could... I’m the big brother.”
You squeezed his hand reassuringly, offering a silent gesture of comfort. Joel found solace in your presence, in the way you understood him without needing words.
"I'm lucky to have you," Joel whispered, his gaze softening as he looked at you.
You smiled at him, not speaking more words, and you continued your walk together, hand in hand. 
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Once you were outside the walls of Jackson, you led the way. As Joel noticed the surroundings, his apprehension grew with each step. Memories of that fateful day flooded his mind—the pain, the fear, and the aftermath.
"I don't like this place," he said, his voice tinged with apprehension as he halted abruptly in his tracks.
You turned to face him, noting the five-foot gap that separated you. "Please, “you implored, your fingertips gently caressing his cheeks. His eyes closed, savoring the warmth against his skin, oblivious to the tears welling up.
"Love," he murmured, his voice trailing off.
“Please, tell me you still have that sweet love inside you," you pleaded, still tracing delicate patterns on his face.
"You know I don’t," he finally answered, his voice breaking mid-sentence.
As the warmth of your touch withdrew, he opened his eyes, meeting yours with a mixture of fear and longing. Tears shimmered in your eyes, and Joel felt his heart clench.
"It's been a year, Joel," you whispered, but he shook his head, unwilling to accept your words.
"You need to let me go," you urged gently.
"I can't. I don't want to," he replied, his voice thick with emotion.
Your heart ached as you listened to Joel's words, knowing the depth of his pain and longing. You wished you could ease his suffering; you wished you could erase the sorrow that weighed so heavily on his shoulders. But you also knew that holding on to the past would only prolong his agony.
"Joel," you said softly, reaching out to cup his face in your hands once more.
“I can’t,” he repeated. “This is the only way I can have you,” his tears falling down his checks.
"I can't just let you go," Joel protested, his voice trembling with the weight of his emotions. "I was so happy that you were mine.”
Your eyes softened with understanding, yet they were also filled with a profound sadness. "I know it's hard, Joel. But holding onto me like this is only hurting you more. You deserve to find peace."
Joel's gaze faltered, torn between the desire to cling to the memory of you and the need to find a way to heal. His heart ached with the unbearable emptiness that consumed him, a void that seemed impossible to fill.
"I don't know how to live without you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
You reached out, gently taking his hand in yours, offering him a silent anchor amidst the storm of his emotions. "You don't have to do it alone, Joel. Let me be a part of your memories, but also let yourself live for the present."
Tears welled up in Joel's eyes, his resolve crumbling beneath the weight of your words. Slowly, hesitantly, he nodded, a flicker of hope stirring within his heart.
“Close your eyes,” you told him, grabbing the same hand you had put on the wedding band the day you got married, when the world hadn’t ended.
As Joel closed his eyes, a sense of calm washed over him, knowing that whatever was to come, he was not alone. He felt the warmth of your touch and the gentle pressure of your hand in his, and he let himself be enveloped by the love and comfort you offered.
With a trembling breath, you began to speak, your voice soft yet filled with emotion. "Joel," you whispered, your words carrying the weight of a lifetime of love and memories. "I want you to know how much you meant to me and how deeply I loved you."
Tears streamed down Joel's cheeks as he listened, hanging onto every word and every syllable that passed your lips. He felt his heart ache with bittersweet longing, the pain of losing you mingling with the warmth of your love.
"You were my everything, Joel," you continued, your voice breaking with the intensity of your emotions. "And even though I'm not physically with you anymore, I will always be a part of you, guiding you and watching over you."
Joel's grip tightened around your hand, his chest constricting with a mixture of grief and gratitude. "I love you," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
And then, as you finished speaking, Joel felt a shift in the air—a gentle breeze that seemed to carry your presence away. He opened his eyes, expecting to see you standing there before him, but to his dismay, you were gone.
"No," Joel whispered, his voice echoing through the empty space around him. "Don't leave me."
But there was no response, no comforting touch to reassure him. You were gone, leaving behind only the memories and an ache in Joel's heart that would never truly heal. And as he stood there, alone in the silence,.
Ever since that tragic day, when you had died while patrolling with Joel, he had been unable to escape the relentless grip of grief. It was a stupid accident, one he could have prevented if he had been faster, but he wasn't, and he was paying the price.
Right now, every moment and every breath seem to echo with your absence. He had held himself to the memories of your laughter, your touch, and your presence by his side. Everywhere he turned, he saw traces of you. You were there, and he could touch you, but now your goodness fades away with the air. He longed for the comfort of your embrace, the warmth of your smile, and the sound of your voice calling out his name.
But there was silence. He turned around, and with the heaviness in his heart and tears spilling down his checks, he walked back alone to Jackson. This time, there was no reminder of you by his side. Tears blurred Joel's vision as he trudged along the familiar path, the memories of that day replaying in his mind like a relentless nightmare.
But no amount of regret or self-blame could bring you back, and Joel knew that he would have to find a way to carry on without you by his side.
And so, with a heavy heart and tears still streaming down his cheeks, Joel resolved to carry on, to face each day with courage and determination, knowing that even though you were gone, your love would always be with him.
You were always on his mind.
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ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ'ꜱ ʜᴏᴍᴇ - ᴋ.ᴍɢ
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» PAIRING : Kim Mingyu x F! Reader
» WORD COUNT : 1.1k
» GENRE : Smut
» SYNOPSIS : When Mingyu comes back from his business trip, he finds you all curled... Well with toys around you.
» WARNING/CONTENT : Daddy! Gyu, subspace, kinda agedup! Gyu, somnophilia, mention of sex toys, daddy kink, nicknames, reader is very needy, dirty talking, unprotected sex, fingering.
» TAGLIST FORM : Here ♡
FEEDBACKS AND REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!
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Mingyu walks into the room, careful enough to not make a sound while setting his huge bag down. He walks over to your bed, your bedside lamp illuminating across the room, making your face look ever so pretty. Mingyu lets out a deep chuckle under his breath, internally cooing at the dried tears on your cheeks, knowing well enough what you were upto before you were knocked out to sleep. Your shirt – well basically his – barely covered your whole body, and there was a tossed vibrator by your side which quite explained for itself. 
   You feel the bed beside you dip, and your eyes flutter slightly. Mingyu draws a soft moan out of you as he lets his hands caress your sides. His hands glide down to your thighs, his long fingers almost covering them whole. “Mhm Wake up baby, daddy's home.”
   Your eyes fluttered open, and you were instantly met with the sight of Mingyu, with his hair all over his eyes and forehead. A sly smirk adorning his facial features while his minty breath hits you. 
   Your mind swiftly goes into a frenzy on realising the way he addressed himself in that deep voice. And soft low whimpers resonate through the room in no time blending with his loud breaths and the sound made from his fingers rubbing slow circles on your clit. 
   “Daddy- hurts” You choke in between your whimpers, and your hands move to grasp onto his biceps. 
   Mingyu quickly shushes you softly, his lips meet the skin on your neck, finding your sweet spot in no time. His hands in between your thighs don't stop, “I know baby, missed daddy didn't you? Did you make yourself cum for me babygirl?”
   His words felt so normal yet so dirty, but like always, they made arousal seep out of you nonetheless. The pads of his fingers rub you ever so gently with a rough graze. Your skin felt hot against his yet the room was so cold, with the air conditioner on. 
   “N-No” You cry out, you barely noticed the way your mind settled into subspace. Being under him after so long felt so euphoric for you, the pleasure was soon swarming you and it was very much obvious from the way your body arched into him. 
   Mingyu knew your answer before the word pathetically slipped off your lips. His fingers spread your slick around messily, knowing well you were growing more and more impatient every passing second. He knew it would take less than two of his fingers pounding inside you to bring you down completely at his mercy, begging for his cock desperately without another thought in your head. 
   Mingyu hadn't removed his vest, but his tiddies surely looked handfull in front of your eyes. Your hands fumble to hold onto him and touch him, but your hazy mind could barely figure he was still completely dressed causing you to whine loudly not knowing what to do. “Daddy, w-wanna touch you- p-please” 
   If Mingyu had recorded how you sounded everytime he fucking you dumb, you would put yourself under ground from how pathetic you sounded for the man hovering over you. But Mingyu didn't care, in fact, his cock twitched every time you begged and whimpered due to his touch, slick leaked out of his cock staining his boxers while hearing the way you babble about how good he felt inside you. 
   Your words have Mingyu retreating his hands in seconds to hastily undo the buttons, cause – what his princess, his princess gets. And before you know it, his half naked figure is hovering over you. 
    Your lips swiftly latched onto the soft skin of his neck like it knew exactly where it belonged. Mingyu could only huff out a smile at that, cooing at how you seemed to love having your hands all over his body. His fingers are back on your cunt, rubbing harshly over it. “You're so wet baby, you're dripping so much, you feel that?” 
    Mingyu had every single clue that none of his words reached you properly, just moving over your head like it was nothing. Your brain could not comprehend any of his words, giving him all the access over you. But you truly had to say, from your past lovers, no one made you feel like Mingyu did. The trust you had in him, the way he gave you everything your horny brain asked for, the way he would not leave you unsatisfied even if you had been a brat to him and the way his cock filled you up till you saw white. 
   His fingers curl up inside you and the action has you convulsing around him as your orgasm within seconds. Mingyu grunts under his breath, his fingers helping you ride out your orgasm while your nails dug into his back. 
   Your mind completely shuts off when you feel his tip poking at your hole, his girth stretching you already. Your hands move to hold onto Mingyu's shoulders, your nails digging into his flesh leaving behind crescent shaped marks. “Fuck baby, I haven't even entered yet, did daddy have such an impact on you already?” 
   ‘Daddy daddy- in- please’ were the only words you could get out of your head, or the only words Mingyu could comprehend from your incoherent babblings. 
   “Mhm baby, I'm gonna stuff you with my cock alright?” He gave no mind about the way your legs wrapped around his waist in an instant as his cock sank into you. The burning sensation between your bodies increases as your eyes roll back in pleasure. Mingyu throws his head back at the way your walls hugged his cock, loving the way your pussy was just made for him to snuggle his cock in. 
   “Fuck I love this pussy so much baby, y'know that? I could fuck you every day and night like this till you could only babble about how good daddy feels inside you.” 
   His length retreats from your hole just a few inches before his hips are thrusting forward to slap against your ass cheeks as his cock hits deep inside you. Your hold tightens on him, phrases of ‘daddy’ and ‘s-so good’ mindlessly fall off your lips in between your loud moans which bounce off the glass windows. 
   Mingyu finally gives into his urge and he grasps your thighs, pressing them down on your chest with barely any effort before letting his hips smack against your ass over and over again at an animalistic pace. You could barely notice before you were clenching and pulsating around his cock as you came hard. 
   “Fuck, I barely even started baby, already cumming around daddy's cock are you?” Unlike the usual times, he did not slacken his thrusts, instead picking up his pace causing you to bury your head in his chest. God you were in for a long night. 
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rewh0re · 1 year
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SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AFTER AN ARGUMENT
Ft.: Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji
Angst but with fluff at the end. Just my boys kuroo and Akaashi and sleeping on the couch after an argument. Reblogs + interactions are highly appreciated!!
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༊ KUROO
Kuroo cannot sleep. It's nearly 3 in the morning and he's twisting and turning on the bed for about an hour now, unable to fall asleep. The other side of his bed seems unnaturally cold and empty due to your lack of presence. You both had gotten into an argument about 2 hours prior. You had tried to convey your thoughts across to him about how worried you were that he was overworking himself and in his state of tiredness he was definitely not in the mood for your nagging. He took out his annoyance on you which resulted in some back and forth yelling before you decided to give him some space and sleep on the couch. But it had been hours and however much he denied it, Kuroo could not sleep without you. So, deciding to swallow his stupid pride he went out to the living room just to find your shivering self on the couch. You had a thin blanket on and it was a cold night.
"I know you're not sleeping," he whispered as he knelt by the couch to look at you.
What he saw broke him, there were dried tears on your face. He always fell apart when he saw you cry.
"Look I'm really sorry for what I said. Half of those things, I didn't mean them and neither should I have uttered them in the first place. It has happened now and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't. So, I'm asking you to forgive me y/n. I'm really really sorry. I love you so much ," he stroked your cheek and you could not pretend anymore. You slowly opened your eyes to look at him.
"You do?" You asked silently.
"More than you could ever know, love. You're the best thing that's happened to me. You're not nagging when you worry about me. I'm sorry for saying that. I was annoyed and irritated and tired and I took it out on you like a fool. I've said hurtful things and I feel terrible for it. Forgive me please," he looked at you with so much love and adoration as he asked for forgiveness that you broke again. You sniffled a little before cracking a small smile.
"I've said some hurtful things as well. Things I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry," you whispered to him.
"It's okay. Come back to bed now love. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off and we'll do whatever you want to do. Sounds good?" He smiled at you, stretching his hand towards you for you to take it.
"Sounds perfect," you smiled as you took his hand in yours.
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༊ AKAASHI
Arguments with Akaashi were rare. Most of the time, you both would talk things out and solve the problem rationally rather than lashing out. You both tried to be logical and tried to communicate no matter how tired or angry you both were. But sometimes however, that was just not the case. Sometimes, things got out of hand, anger overpowered your more rational sides and things got ugly. Tonight just happened to be one of those nights. Honestly, you don't even know how the argument started. You just knew that both of you were exhausted from work and on top of that things had been rough in your personal life lately. These reasons probably got to you and an argument took place. You both had verbally hurt each other to the extent that Akaashi decided to sleep on the couch, unable to fight anymore. He left you in the bedroom alone and fuming. But the moment he picked up a blanket and went to the couch, regret immediately filled you up. You ran after him to the living room where he laid on the couch. God, he didn't even have a pillow under his head, his neck would hurt like crazy in the morning.
"Keiji," you called out his name and as you expected, there was no answer from him.
"Keiji I'm sorry," you sat at the end of the couch where his feet were propped up on the hand rest.
"I let my anger and frustration take over me and said some pretty shitty things. I'm sorry I really did not mean them. I would never," at that, he looked up at you to see your eyes getting teary as a frown took over your face.
"Don't cry y/n," he sat up and brought himself closer to you.
"I don't know what took over me. I'm so sorry. I always try to be calmer and more thoughtful while speaking but today I don't know. Work has been stressful and I probably took that out on you. Something I shouldn't have done and something I highly regret," you took his hand as you looked at him.
"I said some pretty awful stuff to you too, you know. You're not entirely at fault here. I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be more thoughtful and I'll definitely not yell at you again," he gave you a small smile as he opened his arms for you to hug him. You gladly did.
"Me too. Come to bed now. You didn't even bring a pillow with you. Do you want your neck to hurt?" He laughed a little at that.
"Always thinking about me aren't you," he hugged you tighter.
"Mhm. Keiji?" You started as you broke the hug to look at him. "We're okay right?"
"We will be, love."
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navybrat817 · 7 months
Text
Where Did the Time Go?
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You decide not to drink during game night, which leads to an interesting conversation with Bucky. Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: Light angst, tension, friends reconnecting, unrequited feelings (or so you think), slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) Previous Part of AU: We'll Always be Friends A/N: More Dreamboat and Butterfly from my Reconnect AU! ❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You weren’t sure what exactly happened between dinner and now, but you decided that the fun game night wouldn’t include drinking. You hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since your meal. Even then, you were pretty sure you didn’t have much. Sharon brought out a bottle of wine before everyone finished eating and you took a sip of your glass out of obligation. If she noticed you didn’t finish your glass, she didn’t say anything, which you appreciated.
But you should’ve known that Bucky would catch on.
“Not drinking tonight, huh?” He asked as he took a seat beside you on the couch. Steve and Sam set up a game table and were already a couple of drinks in. So were Sharon and Natasha. You weren’t worried about them though. They could hold their liquor.
But can I hold my tongue if I drink? Or am I using that as an excuse?
“Not tonight,” you replied, holding up your cup of water. “Sticking with water.”
“You’re acting like we need a designated driver when we’re not going anywhere,” he joked, throwing his arm around behind the cushion, the same way he had at the dinner table. “Afraid I’ll kick your ass in Mario Kart if you get a little tipsy?” He asked, grinning when you smiled. “We can have a tournament? Just the two of us?”
“Hey, one of us might need to go on a liquor or snack run. You never know,” you said, setting your water on the table before you sank into the couch. “And it isn’t exactly a tournament if only two people are playing, is it?”
“It can be. We make our own rules,” he smiled as he moved a little closer. “Remember the time we had a tournament? We went to that shady looking liquor store after Sam spilled the last bottle of rum. The guy behind the counter had a bunch of clown masks.”
You laughed a little. How could you forget? “Yes! We had to open the living room window so we could breathe. And the cashier was actually a sweet guy, but you glued yourself to my side before that because you were certain the guy had bad intentions,” you said. Bucky and his protective streak made you feel important.
Until you weren’t.
Bucky must’ve noticed the change in your demeanor since he stopped chuckling. “Seriously though. Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?”
“I feel fine. I just don’t need to drink tonight,” you said, touched that he showed concern for you before a weird expression crossed his face. “What? Do I have something in my teeth?”
“No. You’re, um,” he tapped a finger on his knee as he tried to find the words. “There isn’t a specific reason you aren’t, is there? You're not…” he trailed off, but his eyes drifted long enough to your torso to fill in the blank.
You never understood the expression about eyes widening to the size of saucers until you experienced it just then. “Are you asking if I’m pregnant?” You whispered, careful not to speak any louder than that. The last thing you needed was the group questioning why Bucky asked such a question. “If so, the answer is NO.”
The sigh of relief Bucky let out, you weren’t sure what to make of it. “Sorry. I'm sorry. You don’t owe me an explanation for why you aren’t drinking. I just. I don't know why my mind went there.”
You couldn’t exactly tell him you're worried about getting plastered and revealing how you felt about him. Drunk confessions worked for some, but you didn’t think the odds were in your favor. “I still can’t believe you asked that,” you half teased, pointing at your stomach. “Not to mention, I haven’t been laid in ages. So, unless it happens via immaculate conception, that’s never going to be the case.”
The odd expression was back on Bucky’s face. What was his deal? “When was the last time you went on a date?” He asked with more interest than you expected.
“Months ago. Minimum,” you said, looking up at the ceiling as you tried to recall the exact day. “His name was Nick. We went on a few dates and he was nice enough, but he ended up getting serious with someone else. Haven’t gone on another date since.”
The clench in Bucky’s jaw almost made you smile. He had no reason to look so upset on your behalf. “I’m sorry. It’s his loss.”
“Don’t be. I’m kind of used to it,” you said with a nonchalant shrug.
“What the hell does that mean?” He asked, facing you on the couch and blocking the view of your friends at the table. “What exactly are you used to?”
Why does he sound upset? It's not like I’m not his girl.
“It means I’m used to guys not picking me,” you said honestly. As much as it hurt to think that way, saying it didn’t hurt as badly. “Think about it, Bucky. In all the time you’ve known me, when have guys ever flocked to me? When have you ever seen a guy take a chance on me when Natasha and Sharon were there? They haven’t and that’s just the way it is.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re perfect. And maybe people do see you, but you don’t see them,” he argued, quickly closing his mouth when he saw your expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”
“No, I think that’s exactly what you meant,” you said, sitting up to put some distance between the two of you as hurt filled his eyes. “I see just fine, thanks, but please enlighten me. Who saw me? Who did I overlook? I’d love an example.”
There was no reason to get so defensive, but did he understand how you felt? People gravitated toward Bucky and your friends. They always had. You, on the other hand, were on the outside of the house looking in. It was tiring to be the one knocking on the door.
“What about your old friend, TJ? You’re telling me he didn’t see you?” He asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. It wasn’t a tone you heard from him before. It didn't suit him.
“TJ?” You asked, confusion written all over your face that you couldn’t fake if you tried. “TJ Hammond? My old family friend? Um, no, he definitely doesn’t see me.”
Not even close.
“He stayed at your place after Steve’s party,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he avoided your gaze. “Bet he couldn’t wait to see you. Probably went over the second you got back from the trip.”
Wait, is he jealous? What the hell?
You laughed a little, unable to help yourself when he raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, he did stay at my place for a bit after Steve’s birthday bash a couple of years ago. He had an issue with his boyfriend.”
Bucky did a double take, which would’ve been humorous if not for the stricken look on his face. “Boyfriend?”
“Yeah. The guy he dated at the time was a HUGE asshole and they had a falling out. His parents refused to let him go back home, so he stayed with me. And I couldn’t kick him out. He needed a friend,” you said, your brows pinching when you recalled how TJ cried on your sofa. It was a heartbreaking sight. “He has a new boyfriend now who treats him well and he couldn’t be happier. And I couldn’t be happier for him.”
Bucky blinked a few times. “So, you two. You never…?”
“TJ and I? No. Never dated, hooked up, anything,” you smiled with a shake of your head. “We adore each other, but in a brother and sister kind of way. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Even if I did find him attractive, nothing ever would’ve happened. You, Steve, Sam, you guys are much more his type.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, his face a bit pale. You worried for a second that he was going to get sick. “I thought you two hooked up,” he said more to himself than to you.
Where the hell did he get that impression?
“No, we didn't and we never will,” you said again before something he said dawned on you. “Wait, how did you know he stayed at my place? He asked me not to tell anyone where he was and I respected his wishes.”
Going through the dates again in your head, it wasn’t long after TJ stayed with you that Bucky brought Dot around as his new girlfriend. You knew you lost your chance to admit your feelings because he had someone by his side. Someone who wasn’t you.
“Come with me,” Bucky said, taking your hand and pulling you up from the couch before you had a chance to argue. It was hard to keep up with his long strides and he didn’t look back when Steve called after the two of you.
“What’s going on?” You asked as he pulled you outside and slammed the door. You watched as he took a few breaths, like he was trying to steady himself. “Talk to me, please.”
“I wasted two years,” he whispered, tilting his head to look at the sky. “Two fucking years.”
What is he talking about?
“I don’t understand,” you said.
“I made a huge mistake and I regret it,” he said, squeezing your hand as he faced you. “And I can't go the rest of this week without telling you. I wasted enough time.”
“Tell me what? Bucky, what did you do?”
And can we come back from it?
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That literary edging. I'm sorry! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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jilixthinker · 3 months
Text
sweet nothings
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=͟͟͞♡ bang chan × fem!reader
=͟͟͞♡ collared channie
word count: 950 words
content warning: explicit sexual content, sub!chan, established relationship, mommy kink, edging, cock play, ass slapping, dacryphilia
a/c: @straykeedz asks (kinda) and I deliver, mwah.
=͟͟͞♡ please consider reblogging if you like my works!
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"What's going on Channie? Too much already?"
Chan looks like a wet mess while you caress his sweaty cheek. He is on the verge of tears, sweet whimpers falling out from his parted lips. He is been rutting against your stomach for more than one hour now, straddling your lap and grinding his naked body with growing impatience.
His swollen cock is gradually wetting your pants underneath, red and oversensitive after being denied of his orgasm for so long. He is wearing nothing but his black cat ears and the collar he used for the fansign. The letters forming "Chris" are shiny under your gaze.
Chan doesn't answer to your question, but his face is a flushed mask and you know he heard you. You coo condescendingly at his silence.
"Too dumb to answer me, honey? You are so sweet."
Chan keeps rubbing himself in small circles, quickly puffing air out of his opened mouth. His tongue lolls out of his lips and a dribble of saliva falls from the tip of it, leaking on his aching cock.
"S' tired m-mommy."
Your bring your arm to circle his hips and your hand caresses the small of his back. Chan whimpers and his puffy cockhead gets caught on the fabric of your sweats.
"But I'm not done playing with you, baby."
Chan cries a little when your hand rests on the soft fat of his buttcheek before hitting his skin with a loud smack. As soon as he feels the slight pain, he rolls his hips and spurts some more precum on you.
"Ah... b-but I've been good. Uh, uh, I've been good f-for you. I wan' cum."
You slap his butt again, he lets out the sweetest sound, cock twitching for the slight pain.
"I don't think so Channie. Not yet. You are still talking, uh? That means you are still with me. You know what I want from my baby boy, right?"
You look up and he is just the prettiest, all spread out and submissive for you. His face is a mess, eyes glossy and lips all bruised and red. His legs tremble every time he delivers a shallow thrust over you.
"Y-yes... I-I don't know, I jus' want to- uh."
You wrap your free hand around his cock and you squeeze it. It's not too harsh, but it's enough to finally make him cry. The tears wet his cheeks and he keen loudly at the feeling.
You smile and you scoot forward to place a tiny peck on his neck, just above his collar. You start a lazy rhythm, stopping just to stimulate his spongy head, all red and swollen. Chan soft sobs make you feel lightheaded and you slide your thumb against his slit. Chan's thighs shake and he nearly screams.
"You know why I gave you this pretty choker to wear in front of all those people, Channie? All tight and with your name on it?" you ask, sliding your left fingers around said collar and grabbing it firmly. "You know why mommy did it?" You wrap your index and thumb on the material and you suddenly pull, Chan's neck harshly moved forward.
Chan is just babbling at this point, head empty of thoughts but full of pleasure for being toyed like this by you. As if he is just yours. As if you own him.
"I did it so everyone could see that you are mine. Just mine to use. My pretty toy." You pull the choker more and he lets out a painful sigh at the movement. "And for you to remember your own name after I am done using you."
Your words are harsh, but your tone is sickengly sweet while you start to circle fastly your wrist around his tip, and obscene squelching noises fill the room.
"And I guess it's working, uh? Can't hear you talking anymore."
Chan's strenght reaches his final point and he finally gives up, falling on your body. He squishes his face on the crook of your neck and his warm tears roll on your shoulder while you keep rubbing the palm of your hand against the head of his cock, making him mewl and squirm. He cannot think anymore, he just feels sticky pleasure and nothing else.
"That's right. That's it. My sweet boy is gonna give me all of his cum, isn't he? You're gonna give it to me because it's mine. Every drop is mine, like everything of you have."
With the hand in between his legs you finally pump his cock fast and hard, feeling him getting painfully rigid between your finger. The filthy noise of his balls slapping against his own skin with every stroke fills the room.
"C'mon, baby boy. You can cum, you have been so good for mommy. Let go, sweet thing. Cum on me."
You turn your face and you kiss his cheek lovingly. Chan hiccups and you give him one last stroke, rubbing your thumb just under the cockhead, where the spongy tip meet his frenulum. And that's how he cums. Warm spurts of cum covering all your hand, hot and creamy, while he finally breathes all of the pleasure out of himself.
"That's my baby. There you go. Always so perfect for me, so sweet. I love you. You did so well."
Chan hums and you bring your hand to stroke gently his hair, combing his sweaty locks and hugging him tight. Chan snuggles against your chest, still panting a little and nuzzling his head on your breasts.
"B-been good?" He murmurs, voice low and tired.
"Been so good, Channie." You kiss the top of his head, whispering sweet nothing until his body relaxes against yours.
His shiny collar is so pretty on him, you think. Good for him you bought him another one.
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©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.
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roturo · 10 months
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Written All Over Your Face dick grayson x reader
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→ summary: “Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”
→ warnings: SMUT. p in v, unprotected sex (don't be dumb and wrap it), enemies to lovers, heroe!reader, breeding kink, bulge kink ¿?, not proof-read, possessive behavior, begging...
words: 2k
TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY. SMUT BELOW THE CUT.
Being a heroe wasn't easy. Neither being considered a competition for Nightwing. The Ex-Robin. The Dick Grayson.
Both being ¨super-heroes¨ with no powers brought many controversial articles between you two, not only at the Gotham-Batman times, but also now at the new Titans times.
You never thought seeing him again and his boyish smile and attitude. No wonder why he has many girls falling for him, not only as Nightwing, but also as his real identity. But this rough times between the heroes, made the destiny bringing you together again.
Both of you had mutual friends, and when Dawn invited you to meet the new Titans, and asked you for help to train them, you never thought of seeing him again, neither of both of you training teenage kids how to become high quality-trained super heroes.
¨Sorry.¨ Were the last words you heard from Dawn, when she left you with bird boy at the training room, giving you an apologetic smile.
God bless her natural charm and being the trusting friend she is because you couldn't hit her face right now with the rage you're feeling.
¨Hi!¨ A green-haired boy said to you, he had the same, maybe not as pretty, boyish smile like Grayson. ¨Hello...?¨
¨Gar.¨ He told you, not putting down the smile.
With just a nod and a not so happy smile, your eyes moved into a purple-haired girl, who just smiled at you and said her name. ¨Rachel.¨ She hit the boy next to her with her elbow, murmuring his name.
¨Jason.¨ He said, ¨Is this your girlfriend Dick? Because she's pretty good looking for a guy like you. But yeah, what she's doing here anyways?¨
Oh. Yeah. Bird boy. He's here.
¨Yeah Grayson, what’s going on?¨ Completely ignoring the fact Dick was about to answer Jason’s question with furrowed brows and you obviously knowing why you're here since Dawn explained you. ¨And no, i'm not his girlfriend.¨ You looked at Jason with a smile which changed into a fake smile when your eyes returned to Dick. ¨He wishes.¨ You said, your head turning to the side, obviously trying to make him angry. At which he only scoffed, knowing you well enough to know what you were trying. ¨Yeah number two, maybe we can just pass at me explaining you why you´re here.¨
Number two? He WISHES.
¨I know why am I here. I don´t know if your little brain remembers you made Dawn bring me here to help you train this kids.¨ You got closer to him, not breaking eye contact. ¨And number two? pfft, If you were number one, maybe you wouldn't have been replaced by new Robin here.¨
That got him exactly where you wanted him. He might seem like a strong and rough guy, but behind all that image of big boy, there’s nothing else but trauma.
You couldn’t help but notice how his jaw clenched at the small giggle Jason let when you mentioned Dick being replaced. Side-eyeing him, Jason stopped. Dick sighed trying to calm himself down.
“First. I didn’t know Dawn brought you here, she just told me about bringing the perfect person to help me train them, I was not expecting you.” You could tell he was still angry at the remark, so he wanted to correct you. “Second. I didn’t got replaced. I left Wayne by choice of mine.”
“And third. I’m not longer Robin.”
It got into a really tense vibe between you and Dick trying to kill each-other with just your eyes, everyone in silence, clearly uncomfortable at this new encounter.
“Can both of you stop eye-fucking eachother and can we finally start the training?” Jason said, trying to bring both of you back to earth.
That clearly caught both of your attention to what Jason said, clearly annoyed at the wrong remark of how both of you were looking at each-other. “We’re not “eye-fucking” each-other Jason, stop getting into other’s people conversations.” With that, Dick started grabbing everything for the training of today, moving on. Jason just raised his arms at the air, (like when they’re showing they’re not armed), with a small smirk on his face.
“Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”
That brought a hard, and big laugh to your face, how could Jason say that? This kids don’t even respect their “leader” This was going to be a funny training.
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After what seemed like 1 hour of training, and getting to know the kids, you could get which were the flaws and weaknesses. Maybe you couldn’t understand quite well Rachel’s powers, but some time will do it.
You asked Gar where you could sleep the night, since it was already getting late and your most likely staying some days here, you'll also need some extra clothes at least for today.
Gar told you to stay in the spare room next's to Dick's, great, what a nice neighbor you have. He also gave you some clothes you could use tonight, tomorrow you could go back to your place and get some clothes, your skincare.... and I guess your super-hero suit.
When going out of the bathroom after a long shower (which you deserved), Dick was standing there, shirtless, all sweaty, and just with some grey sweatpants on... he looks.... nice, yeah. Obviously annoyed but when he saw you, his face turned into... panic?
He doesn't know what's happening to him right now, might be stress he needs to get relieved, yeah, sure, that's the reason he feels his pants getting tighter every-second he keeps looking at you right now.
¨Are you okay bird-boy why´re you just static over here, I know you have problems, but this a new one.¨ You looked up and down at Dick's figure, obviously checking him out, not like he needs to find out, noticing he´s quite handsome, not like you would tell him also, he's hot, and he knows it.
¨That´s... That´s my shirt¨ Was all that Dick could say, well, shit.
You knew the t-shirt had a distinct laundry soap scent which remind you of someone, and maybe a pint of perfume, but who could blame you?! Might be Gar's or Jason's!
¨And those... are my boxers.¨ double shit.
You could see he was obviously blushed and you're sure you are too, but what a coincide. It's like you could hear Rachel, Gar and Jason's laughing at the both of you.
¨Well... do want me to give them back at you?¨ You broke the tense silence, trying to take your, his, shirt-off, completely forgetting you're in front of him, you needed to find a way out of here.
¨No, no, no, stop! Leave it there, then you give it back to me.¨ He assured you, grabbing your hands and pulling them down with your, his? t-shirt. ¨And it looks better on you anyways.¨ That's all he said before speed entering to the bath-room.
¨Hey Dick!, Wait.¨ To say you couldn't feel the wetness of your pussy going out and asking for some relief, would be considered a crime. ¨What do you ne-¨ You cut him off by entering the bath-room closing the door in the process, both of your lips connecting in a perfect symphony like they were made for each-other. He left a sudden whine at the loss of the soft touch of your lips.
¨Oh.¨ Was all he could say, you don't understand what happened to you, it wasn't definitely a normal behavior between you two. ¨Oh my god. I'm so sorry Dick, I don't know what happened to me, i'm-¨ You couldn't finish the last sentence when you felt his lips in yous again. A little hesitant this time, he stops, unsure of his actions, but he lose it all. ¨Do it again.¨
That's all he needed to continue kissing you, hands caressing you neck, positioning them as a chocking posture, later going to trace your jaw as he continues kissing you.
He started giving you kisses trailing down your chin, making you moan at the specific spot that made your legs shake, he started leaving love bites between your chest, later going down on you, pulling your t-shirt upwards, getting between your breasts and marking them as his.
¨Please Dick... Please make me feel good.¨ It´s like something got into him when his hands started roaming your body like crazy, pulling your shirt off, your hand reaching his sweatpants, and later his cock, noticing he has no underwear under neat it. ¨It's like you were ready for this bird-boy, ah!-¨ Even when you try to tease him, he finds a way to tease you back even in a better way, his fingers playing with your nipple had you giddy and trembling. ¨Be a good girl if you want me to fuck you.¨
All you could do is nod and start stroking his hard cock, already leaking pre-cum which made the stroking easier, playing with the head had him as a moaning mess.
“Fuck, wait — shit. Mm— fuck. Wh-where did you learn to do that?” He left a whiny moan at the lose of your touch.
“Well, the noises you make are a pretty good indication of how you like it.” He man-handled you, turning you around, making you see yourself at the mirror.
“…God you sound so fucking cocky right now and it’s turning me on even more.”  He ripped apart the boxers you were wearing. ¨Don't worry, I have plenty more.¨ Fuck him and his fucking pretty smile.
With no more waiting, he positioned himself, and started thrusting into you. He fits just right, and could touch all the places you couldn't reach.
“Let me know if I’m doing anything wrong, okay? I want to make you feel as good as possible.” Even when he's fucking your brains out, he finds a way to be that kind and nice guy he is.
“O-Okay.”  Was all you could tell him, before & after some moans and whines from both of you, one specific thrust had you seeing stars.
His hand lingered down your tummy and he moaned at the bump he could feel, when he was going in and out with his thrusts. ¨Oh baby, I'm going to make you mine, fill you up.¨
He started playing with your clit, it had you crazy all the feelings of his body, his thrusts, him.
¨´You´re so good for me, all for me... 'm gonna' fill you up with my babies, 'm gonna make you a mommy, full of my cum every-day just to make sure.¨
That was all you needed to cum, with just some last thrusts he came inside you too, fulfilling his promise of keeping you full of his cum. He waited for you to calm down, before he inserted two of his fingers, recollecting the cum that was falling out your hole, inserting it inside you again, making you moan at the sudden intrusion.
He got the tub ready, and got you inside it, in front of him while he cleaned your sore body while kissing it.
¨I can't believe it took me all this years to realize how I feel about you.¨ Your heart was anxious at how your confession would be received.
¨Doesn't take an idiot to figure out. You couldn't tell I was and I am in love with you because you were too busy trying to beat all that rivalry. I was in love the moment you kicked my ass for the first time.¨
You chuckled at the confession, and laid your head on his shoulder where you could see his dumb smirk. ¨You have that stupid smirk on your face again, can't you have a serious conversation with me?, can we fight again?¨
He laughed at your comment ¨Not a possible thing for me when you look this cute all marked by me and confessing your feelings for me.¨ The small pecks he started leaving on your neck and back had you giggling.
¨I love you.¨
¨I love you too, bird-boy.¨
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vivvangel · 4 months
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angel baby | lee heeseung (m) PART 2
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synopsis: finding his girl angelic isn't a crime ! after seeing you in the prettiest lingerie you own, heeseung gets riled up ... fast. › pairings : bf!heeseung x fem!reader ✧ warnings: lingeries, use of nicknames (baby, angel, princess, pretty, says slut once), praising, js slight pussy slapping (once), asks for consent cus consent is sexy !, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it irl!) ━━━━━━ PART 1 - PART 2
"is it okay if i keep going, baby?" heeseung asks softly, a small smirk on his lips as you nod impatiently.
"hee, don't tease.." you whimpered as heeseung grinded his length against your core. "i asked if i could keep going, princess. i'm not doing anything until you answer -- mhm?" he said softly, running his hand through your hair. "please keep going, hee — w-wanna feel you" you stuttered out, making heeseung chuckle. "be a good girl for me, yeah?" you nod. “where do you want me to touch you?” - “down there…”
“you have to say the word, pretty”
"fuck my pussy raw, hee — please?" -- "good girl, cmhere"
heeseung kisses all over your body — at first, he tries gently taking the lingerie off, but fuck patience, he rips it off you as you let out a whine. " baby.. that was new—" - " i'll buy you a prettier one, yeah? - sorry angel"
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"oh god hee! -- feels so good" you moaned — heeseung's smirk widening. your walls clenched around his cock, "open your eyes angel, wanna see your face when you cum" you nod, fluttering your eyes open.
"hee-heeseung, slow down, oh my god," your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your boyfriend's cock hammered your core mercilessly. his hips were perfectly aligned to reach your pleasure point, making you cry out the prettiest moans, noises heeseung could hear on loop forever. your fingers fisted his hair and pushed your pelvis up to meet his every thrust. "fuck!-- 'm close" you curse, and a heeseung slaps your bud lightly, making you wince. "good girls use pretty words, mhm?" fuck— wait no, shit— wait, nevermind. how could you forget? heeseung doesn't like it when his pretty girl uses foul words -- of course.
you cried out as you felt your climax approaching, heeseung sped up his movements, "how are you so close already? just started, baby — always so needy for my cock, god, perfect slut"
you don't know if it was the result of his dirty words or how fast he was pounding into you, but you came right then and there, moaning out and arching your back.
"that's it baby, cream my cock -- fuck! y/nnie, you're squeezing me so h-hard, fuck, just like that baby — i got you baby" heeseung eye's never left your face, how were you so beautiful? his angel baby.
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now that you think about it, trying on a cute lingerie when your boyfriend, heeseung present at home is never a good idea — it either ends up in the lingerie torn, or your sanity.
TAGLIST : tagged some of my moots too😚 @strawberrysavi @jainandan @aliciaasosaa @depressedjo @luvyev @aericalling @paolation143, @vampfiya @miumiuoi @cinamonoo @nikimeows @binniewalrus @isabllanct @mizomani @butterflywonie @thinklessthanmore @yer1lvr @heesomoz @enmayz @sussyjake @jaeyunology @taevasion @ihrtjw @amorvincitomina @enha-7 @linospudding @heesbambi @eggomi @moonplayz @astrellaismercy @suvgs @sunghoonsbabie @yunjaeda @rizzhee @heeminniez @heeissopogi @lhslovr @sungvrhee @karinasbaby @j0emamer @apheerodite @jaeyunzlovr @yutazen27 @ramenoil @heelvsted ♡
viv's note: pls don't let this flop 😭 reblogs are rlly appreciated!
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cooliestghouliest · 4 months
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THE MIDDLE BEDROOM
PAIRING: established Billy/Reader relationship, bff!Eddie is a Peeping Tom
TAGS and C/W’s: this is basically just smut (which means 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI), pining undertones, oral (f!receiving), Billy's filthy mouth, SPIT, Eddie's a pervert but Billy's kinda setting him up so really Eddie is just advantageous, m!masturbation, unprotected PiV
WORD COUNT: 3.4k+
A/N: hi, my friends!!! this is a rewrite/repost and has been edited for a (hopefully) smoother, more enjoyable read. basically, i’m trying to revamp everything i’ve published in hopes that an inspiration bug crawls deep, deep inside me and just fucking explodes, leaving only creativity and motivation to replace all of my blood and oxygen. it’s almost 2024, who needs to bleed and breathe anyway??? please remember that likes are greatly appreciated, but comments and reblogs are what make the writer’s world go round. :-) <33
It happened at Rick Lipton's annual Halloween party. '86, baby.
There were many nameless faces wandering about the bungalow, all in varying states of sobriety. Eddie only recognized a handful of people, one of them being Billy Hargrove... and the other being you, Eddie's best friend, but also Hargrove's drop-dead, knock-the-fuck-out gorgeous girlfriend.
Eddie had overheard someone guess that you were dressed as a witch. Someone else guessed that you were dressed as Stevie Nicks. With a shrug, you'd answered, "Those are the same thing," like it was the most obvious certainty in the entire world.
You were in a sheer black off-the-shoulder maxi dress, the form-fitting fabric tight in all the right places. There was a long, gracious slit down the side that ran from hip to foot. When you moved in a certain way, Eddie could see that you were wearing black suede thigh-high boots, a little kitten heel clicking against the hardwood floors as you walked.
Right up to him.
"Hi, Eddie," you'd greeted with a smile, eyes wide and welcoming. You swirled the train of your dress a bit, swaying along to some Joni Mitchell song playing in the background. "Happy Halloween."
Eddie didn't get the chance to answer, though he was sure he'd have ended up stumbling over his words anyway, because you just looked so pretty tonight. He was only able to return the smile before Billy appeared beside you.
"Hey, man," Hargrove prompted, Eddie watching as the honey blonde rested lucky fingers on the small of your back. The other palm extended to clap Eddie on the shoulder a few times. "You bring it?"
"Yeah, it's just... uh..." Eddie dug his hand around in the front pockets of his jeans, then in the back pockets of his jeans, then eventually found what he was looking for in the pocket of his denim jacket, bypassing a broken button to reach for the little baggie in question.
As he was about to pull it out, Billy’s hand gripped his forearm, halting him. "Not here," Hargrove instructed. He stepped an inch closer to Eddie, voice lowering to just above a whisper. Eddie had to dip his head forward to try and hear the blonde over the music and commotion around them. "Come upstairs. Like fifteen minutes. Middle bedroom." At Eddie's confused expression (they were at a Halloween party thrown by Hawkins' most profitable drug dealer, for fuck's sake -- who the hell would care about a little coke?), Billy fashioned him a grin, stepping back. "Don't need everybody knowing my business and shit, ya know?"
Eddie guessed that was a decent enough explanation, so he shrugged the absurdity off. He'd always thought Billy was a little weird, anyway. And coming from Eddie Munson, the biggest fucking weirdo of all, that characterization spoke volumes.
After that, you and Billy disappeared. Eddie had followed the tail-end of your dress until you were lost in a sea of strangers, then decided to try and push the rest of the weed he had onto other partygoers, wanting to leave tonight with his current debt to Rick paid and his lunch box full of fresh goodies for the new month ahead.
It was exactly fifteen minutes later that Eddie began his ascent of the stairs to Rick's second floor. He weaved in and out of groping couples, stepped over sleeping Lettermen, and gave a tight-lipped smile to a group of girls that stumbled out of the bathroom and slammed right into him. He stepped to the side, giving them the right of way, before crossing the hallway to his destination: the middle bedroom.
The door was shut, so Eddie knocked. Waited a few seconds, then knocked again.
Still with no answer, he took a large step back, surveying the other doors around him to verify he hadn't gotten turned around and was in fact standing in front of the right room, which he was.
Eddie huffed a sigh. He glanced around the hallway again, checking to see if maybe Hargrove was just running late, but there was no blonde mullet in sight.
Figuring Billy must have been inside and was just... busy or something (actively ignoring him? suddenly gone deaf?), Eddie brought his hand to the knob to twist it and enter.
The room was mostly dark. Not exactly pitch black, thanks to a streetlight seen through the big bay window, but still dark enough that Eddie needed to blink rapidly several times to adjust his eyes to the new lighting.
His immediate thought was that Billy must have either forgotten to meet him up here or had ditched the party entirely and left the dealer packing with a now homeless dimebag of blow.
Off to the right, however, was a thick slab of pale-yellow light emanating from a partially closed door. It was the bathroom, which Eddie knew from sleeping in this very bedroom more than a handful of times since first meeting Rick Lipton a few years back.
And that’s when Eddie started to hear it.
Or, as he would soon come to find out, hear you.
He had at first mistaken the quick, soft breaths of air for sounds of pain or distress, which was why he'd begun inching towards the bathroom in the first place.
But now, standing in the shadow of the ajar door, he was able to peek inside. At the sight before him, Eddie felt his eyes widen, and a prickling warmth started to spread throughout his body.
Those were definitely not sounds of pain or distress.
Billy sat kneeled in front of where you were currently spread out on the bathroom counter. Your knees were hiked up towards your chest, your dress laying in a heap on the ground, and you were left only in a bright red bra. And those goddamn suede thigh-highs.
He should have walked away right then, he knew that. He was going to, really, but then you arched your back, your head falling lax behind you, and the fucking obscene moan you let out had Eddie biting down so hard on his bottom lip that he tasted blood.
How was he supposed to leave now?
He couldn't help himself.
You were just... you.
Thoughtful, generous, creative. You went out of your way to ensure no one ever felt judged or left out; you were known to drop everything without debate in order to help anyone who really needed it; you let him host Hellfire in your basement when the club needed a new location in a pinch, and even helped him plot twists in his campaigns.
Truly, Eddie had a very hard time seeing what you saw in that prick Billy Hargrove, but that was something to ponder at a later point. Because right now, Eddie was getting to see you in a position he'd only ever dreamed of seeing you in.
When would he ever get this chance again?
Eddie refused to think too deeply into this, deciding to pretend he didn't have a moral compass for a bit. It was probably bad. Likely even made him a pervert, but he'd been called much worse, so he figured he'd just add this one to the list now, too.
He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to be able to face either one of you again, but his feet just weren't working when his brain tried to tell them to move, and now his cock was starting to fill out the confines of his jeans in a way that had him seeking the relief of the doorframe, his hips acting of their own accord, finding a slow, rocking rhythm.
Billy had his palms splayed out on either side of your inner thighs, holding your legs open. Eddie quickly grew irritated that he couldn't see exactly what the blonde's tongue was doing. He thought that if he couldn't be the one with his own face buried against you, he wanted to at least have an unobstructed, close-up view.
He wanted to see Hargrove's lips wet with your slick, wanted to watch them wrap around your aching clit and suck until you tried to push him away. If Eddie could, he'd hold your arms down while Billy devoured you, wanting you to feel so much pleasure it was borderline painful.
He was pulled out of his fantasy by the sound of Billy's voice, raspy and teasing. "Love when you give me this sloppy fucking cunt," he said, the words themselves demeaning but his tone singing nothing but praises. Billy lowered his head back down, giving you a few long, loud licks.
Eddie knew he himself could be theatrical, but Billy Hargrove was dramatic in his own ways, and it did certainly seem like the blonde loved to hear the sound of his own voice. Apparently, eating pussy and its associated noises fell under this umbrella of Hargrove Histrionics.
Billy pulled his head back to spit several times on your well-loved cunt. Eddie didn't dare to blink as the other man brought two fingers to spread your lips and spit again, this time with your hardened nub as target. Both him and Billy watched intently as the saliva dripped slowly down your slit, past your empty hole, and leaked off of you entirely to darken an already present wet spot on Hargrove's blue jeans.
And fuck, you loved it.
With each assault of Billy's spit, you let out faint little gasps (fucking cute, Eddie had thought), body jolting at the contact, your eyes fluttering open and shut as the moisture filled in every curve of your core.
"So fucking messy, aren't you?" Billy taunted, his free hand moving to palm at his clothed length. Eddie was relieved to see Hargrove finally begin to touch himself, honestly impressed at the self-control the blonde had to disregard his pleasure and focus solely on yours. "Makes it feel so good when I finally fuck this thick cock inside you," he continued, unzipping his jeans as he stood. "You think this pussy's ready to soak me?"
Eddie felt like his skin was boiling. He wished he could eliminate some layers. Or all layers, preferably.
You were staring earnestly up at your boyfriend, a desperate pout on your face as you nodded in vigor. "Please, Billy," you begged, and Eddie couldn't take it any longer. He needed to fist his cock raw, having had enough of this grinding against the wall bullshit.
At the same time Billy dropped his jeans, Eddie did the same, pulling himself out of his boxer briefs. He muffled a groan of relief by biting down on the knuckles of his free hand, his other wrapping around the girth of his dick and just squeezing. He didn’t want to give in before Billy had gotten inside you.
The blonde sure was taking his sweet fucking time though, only wetting his length by sliding himself repeatedly between your lips. You were whining, and Eddie could tell you were trying to angle your hips in such a way that it would trip Billy up and he would slip inside. Good girl, get that fucking cock, Eddie thought, impatient and eager to cum, but not wanting to do so without first catching a glimpse at what you looked like stuffed and fucked full.
"Hmm, I dunno," Billy provoked, tapping his cock against your cunt with loud slaps. "Feels really good just like this, baby. Maybe I'll use the outside to fuck myself instead, cum all over this pretty little pussy, make an even bigger mess. You want that?"
You and Eddie both shook your heads at the same time.
You gave a grumble of annoyance (more of like a testy whimper, really) and brought a hand up to slap playfully at Billy's chest. "Fuck me, Billy," you demanded, your voice throaty and yearning. You dropped the hand at his chest to circle his cock, wrapping delicate fingers around his own and helping to stroke. "Need it inside."
"Oh, you need it, greedy girl?" It appeared he was going to listen to you, much to yours and Eddie's respite, because he lined himself up against your hole with one hand, the other moving to wrap around the nape of your neck. "I didn't know that. I gotta give my girl what she needs then. Can't have anyone thinking I don't take care of you."
Finally -- finally -- Eddie watched as Billy took one thrust to bury his cock inside you completely, the blonde releasing a loud, lewd moan. Eddie gave his own throbbing, sweat-slick length the same treatment, fucking into his fist from tip to base until he felt his tightening balls press against his twitching fingers.
You looked better stretched open than Eddie could have ever imagined -- a natural flush glowed on your skin, your bottom lip tugged tight between your upper teeth, your brows furrowed deep.
Your eyes rolled back as Billy began to move, a satisfied moan escaping your lips at the pace he was setting. The sound, contented yet desperate, was music to Eddie's ears. He wanted to record it and hear it on loop -- as a wake-up call, an afternoon pick-me-up, a bedtime lullaby.
Your hands moved to rest on either side of the surface of the sink below you, supporting your weight as Billy rocked into you with long, languid thrusts. Eddie tried to match Hargrove's pace with the stroke of his hand, envisioning it was his own cock giving you exactly what you needed.
You must have felt fucking good to be buried deep inside of, because Billy, always with something to say, was awfully quiet now.
He watched the other man's face through the reflection in the mirror, saw as Billy's baby blues fervently took in the sight underneath him, knowing he himself would be donning the same expression if positions were switched. Eddie knew Hargrove was admiring your perfect tits bouncing with the force of each thrust, knew he was lost in the dissipated doe-eyes that stared back up at him like he hung the fucking moon, when in reality he was just feeding your cunt some very well-deserved cock.
When your mouth dropped open unprompted, your pink tongue sticking out as far as it could go, that was the beginning of the end for Eddie. Both men knew exactly what you were asking for. Hargrove smirked approvingly at the sight before him, and he slowed the speed of his hips for better accuracy. He gathered as much saliva in his mouth as he could before leaning over you, parting his lips and letting gravity do its job.
Once your mouth was filled, Billy brought a hand to your jaw, forcing it shut. "Don't swallow," he instructed, his thrusts no longer slow and unhurried, but now posthaste and unrelenting.
Eddie could feel the familiar tingle in his lower abdomen, alerting him that his release was maybe a minute away. He fleetingly realized that he was going to have to very quickly clean his upcoming mess and get the hell out of the room before he was caught, but his attention was reeled back in when he heard a series of deep, breathless grunts.
"Okay, shit... spit it out now, baby," Billy was muttering, speech rushed, his head dipped to stare unwaveringly at where your bodies connected. "Oh fuck, spit on my fucking cock."
Eddie watched as you leaned yourself forward, angling your head down to release the spit you'd been holding in from your mouth, just adding to the noisy wetness between your legs.
And that did it. The visual — someone as soft and sweet as you doing something so filthy — had Eddie's toes curling in on themselves in his gym shoes, his hand pulsating around his cock to mimic a clenching cunt as he fucked himself into it. His release spilled out over his fist, dampening the ground below him and the bathroom doorframe. He saw stars.
Billy had followed Eddie right off the brink, muttering praises and obscenities interchangeably as you both came down from your highs. "Listen so well, dirty fucking girl. Always make me cum so hard, fuck, this pussy's so fucking full of me right now."
The sound of the quiet giggles urged out of you by Billy's tickling kisses on your neck were what brought Eddie back to the present reality. He wasn't back at home watching the hottest fucking porno he'd ever seen -- no, he was actually standing in a dimly lit bedroom, covered in his own cum, having just spied on his best friend while she got railed by her boyfriend.
Shit.
Eddie's moral compass came back with a vengeance. He cringed as he rubbed his sticky fingers on the inside of his band tee to clean them, not wanting anyone to catch a glimpse of crusty white as he made his getaway. He found a towel in a laundry basket and wiped away any remnants of his release from the wall and floor, then tossed it back into the hamper.
Not even able to glance back into the bathroom, his skin now heated from shame and embarrassment rather than arousal, Eddie buttoned up his jeans and hurried out of the room, ready to try and forget that all of that just happened.
About ten minutes later, he was perched against his van about a block from Rick's, where he'd parked. He was smoking a cigarette, having finally began to cool off and calm down. If he tried hard enough, he was sure he could convince himself this was all a really vivid hallucination, and maybe he'd be able to compartmentalize his moment of perversion that way.
He just needed to stay away from the two of you for a little while.
But then, because of course...
"Munson!"
Eddie quietly groaned, taking a deep drag off his cigarette to quell his already rapidly growing nerves from just the sound of the other man's voice alone. He turned to face Billy, plastering what he hoped was an easygoing grin on his face.
"Hey, man," Eddie greeted, his voice surprisingly steady.
Billy held his hands up in a 'What the fuck?' kind of way, brows furrowed. "Thought we had a plan," the blonde replied, stopping just a foot away from the tall metalhead. One side of Hargrove's mouth lifted. He looked predatory. Eddie fought back a hard swallow. "Did you even come upstairs?"
"What..." Eddie's brain went blank at the question. Or was it an accusation? It definitely sounded like one, but Billy didn't seem mad. The blonde was just staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.
"Y'know," Billy continued. "Because I told you to meet me in the middle bedroom? For the coke?" What had started as the slight of a smirk had turned into a full-blown grin on Hargrove's face. "You good, Munson? Lookin' a little spooked.”
To this, Eddie sobered his expression, shaking his head. "No, just like, busy night, that's all," Eddie answered lamely. Maybe Billy really didn't know. Maybe Eddie was just hyper-paranoid about having been caught that he was reading too deeply into this. After all, wouldn't Hargrove have been pissed to find out he'd been spying? Wouldn't he already have Eddie pinned against the van, spewing threats? "Lotsa deals. Kinda forgot about yours, my bad. Here, lemme get it..."
Eddie began digging around in his pockets, having forgotten again where the coke was. He blamed the alarms of anxiety going off in his brain (thoughts like fuck, he probably knows, which means she knows, and now she's gonna fucking hate me plaguing him).
But Billy said, "Don't worry about it, I'm good. Got my energy hit a little bit ago." The blonde then looked like he had remembered something, and began looking in his own pockets, "Shit, actually. Ya know what? I have something for you."
Eddie was sure the look of confusion on his face was readable. This whole night was turning out to be a fucking fever dream. He didn't think anything else could happen to make it any more surreal.
And then Billy was reaching his hand out to give Eddie something, that I-know-something-you-don't smirk present again, and Eddie took it without looking. He just wanted Billy to walk away so he could go crawl into the back of his van and smoke himself stupid to avoid any and all realizations and repercussions.
"See you ‘round," were Billy's parting words and Eddie just nodded dumbly, mute, and watched him go.
Once Hargrove was out of sight, Eddie opened his hand. At first, it just looked like an unassuming wad of fabric, maybe a sock or something, small compared to the size of his palm.
Eddie unraveled it, holding it out in front of him, and then very quickly tossed it inside his open passenger window, eyes darting around to make sure no one had seen what Billy Hargrove had just given him —
The matching pair of panties to your bright red bra.
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matryosika · 5 months
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Extracurricular
Pairing — Hyunjin x fem!reader Wordcount — 9,281 words Includes — College AU, strangers to something. Shy and inexperienced Hyunjin. Explicit content, smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — This was... a ride. I'm used to writing super filthy smut, but I think this one is pretty soft and wholesome. I enjoyed this idea a lot, and I enjoyed writing it too. I was between Seungmin, Mark and Hyunjin for this one, but I eventually decided to go with Hyunjin because... I don't think I've read a lot about him in this kind of dynamic haha. Also to indulge myself. I hope you guys like it; if you do, please like/reblog and leave an ask or comment! Remember that I own a ko-fi, in case you want to support my work further (link in my post pinned!) Every tip is super helpful to me.
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Smut warnings: Kind of perv!Hyunjin if you squint. Hyunjin gets hard during a non-sexual context and reader catches it. Soft dirty talk, handjob, fingering, oral sex (both m. and f. receiving), deepthroating and super soft face fucking, cum eating, multiple orgasms (for both characters). Penetrative sex, unprotected sex (contraceptives are discussed), creampie.
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[15:47 p.m.] You: 8, my place. 
Hyunjin tilted his head while reading your text, unsure about what he should reply. It wasn’t a question, nor a proposal; it was an order, something he had to accept rather than negotiate. 
[15:48 p.m.] Hyunjin: Yeah. 
For once, he was glad about being partnered with someone who enjoyed taking the lead. Had it been any other classmate of his, Hyunjin was sure he would’ve been forced to take the initiative. 
This time around, though, he wasn’t. But at what cost? The relief of being grouped with someone like you wasn’t as comforting as any other would think. Sure, more than one classmate would’ve done anything to be paired with you, but Hyunjin just couldn’t feel the same. 
[15:50 p.m.] You: my apartment is near Namyeong station. 
[15:50 p.m.] You: I'll text you the address later, wait. 
He spent the following hours waiting for your text, wondering how fate had played such cards on him. Was it a divine punishment? Or a devilish blessing? Hyunjin just couldn’t know.
*
He stood in front of your apartment door for minutes, debating on whether he should knock right away or wait a little bit longer. The clock on his cellphone screen Hyunjined 8:02, yet he didn’t want to look too desperate to get inside your place, even when he was.
So, Hyunjin opted to wait a few more minutes before knocking on your door. He thought about it as a way to soothe himself, though it was useless —no amount of waiting time could fight the awkwardness of getting to hang around you for a whole evening.
Despite knowing that, he tried his best. He brushed his sweaty palms against the fabric of his sweatpants, fixed his hair, cleared his throat, and rehearsed his greeting.
“Hey,” he whispered to himself. Too sharp. “Hello,” too weird. “Hi,” totally not like him.
“What’s up?,” Hyunjin finally concluded. What’s up? Casual, friendly, and not too uptight —even when that's probably one word he would use to describe himself.
With tons of hesitation, and motivated by the already wasted time, Hyunjin finally knocked on your door. He went for three knocks, one right after the other.
Surprisingly, you answered the door after the second one.
“What were you doing?”
It wasn't that Hyunjin needed to have everything under his control, but he wished to have at least some of it. From the moment you choose your own place for the project meeting, to the blunt question you welcomed him with, Hyunjin felt nothing but uncertainty.
In any other situation, or with any other person, he would've been the one leading the way. He would've been at the comfort of his place, welcoming his guest the way he wished to be welcomed. He would direct the project, choose the idea he liked best, work diligently on it and call it a day.
But he was standing right in front of your apartment door, with his cheeks flushed and a timid grimace that resembled more awkwardness than a friendly smile.
“Huh?” he mumbled, barely audible for you.
“It’s 8:20,” you stepped away from the door and encouraged the brown-haired to come in. “I was waiting for you”.
Were you? Hyunjin lost track of the time that evening. He knew he got to your apartment at around 8, but he wasn’t conscious of the whole twenty minutes he spent getting ready to knock on your door.
“Sorry,” was all he could come up with. “Hi”.
“Hi,” you said back, closing the door right behind you and guiding your shy classmate across the small living room.
He seemed nosy, you could tell; his eyes widened as he discreetly scanned the whole space. There was not much to see though —when it came to room décor, you were more of a minimalist. Still, Hyunjin was curious because it was your place, he wasn’t particularly interested in appreciating the small details but imagining how you spent your afternoons resting there.
“So,” you sat down on the couch and grabbed your laptop from the coffee table, leaving space for Hyunjin to sit next to you. He seemed hesitant at first, debating on whether he should be close to you or not for his own good, but he didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they already were. “Any ideas?”
“Ideas?”
“Mhm,” you nodded, “for the project”.
To be truthfully honest, Hyunjin had plenty of ideas for the final assignment. But as he inhaled your fragrance, he completely forgot about every single one of them.
“I-” he hesitated. Silly enough, he was at the top of his class. In the midst of things, he felt overwhelmed —what if you expected a lot from him? “I guess I haven’t thought much about it”.
“Me neither,” you sighed, throwing your head back and against a cushion. “We have a long night ahead”.
“Wha- do you think we can get it done by tonight?” Hyunjin asked you. Of course, if the both of you worked hard and without any distractions, the final project could’ve been done in under 3 hours. Yet he had hope about another project meeting, luckily at his place.
“Maybe,” you closed your eyes and exhaled deeply.  
Hyunjin nodded silently and stared at you for a while, allowing himself to do so only because you had your eyes closed. Besides that time you were late and had to sit right next to him in freshman year, this was as close as Hyunjin had ever been to you.
He didn’t want to come off as a pervert, but it was hard not to stare at you. Of course, he wasn’t going to do it shamelessly —he respected you and the last thing he wanted was for you to think about him as a creep or feel uncomfortable hanging around him, but his own instincts betrayed him.
From the curvature of your lashes to your lips, then your neck, and a little down further, Hyunjin’s eyes fixed on your cleavage. Your clothes only revealed much, but that was perfect, it had him on edge.
“What?” Your voice caught him off guard and he quickly parted his gaze away from you.
“Huh?”
“I can feel you staring at me, Hyunjin,” you scoffed, still with your eyes closed.
“I am not,” he reassured you, shifting his position on the couch.
“Alright,” you sighed. “But I wouldn’t mind if you were”.
“I am not,” Hyunjin repeated and turned to face the small balcony next to him, pretending that the view outside the apartment was a thousand times more fulfilling than the one he had sitting next to him.
“Why do you not like me?” The question came out rather harshly, but far from intimidating him, it only made Hyunjin curious.
Up until that point, he thought it was pretty obvious —he was into you. He didn’t know you that much, but he didn’t need to; his lack of knowledge never stopped him from having wet dreams about you almost every single night.
“Why do you think that?”
You let out a soft scoff, turning to the side to face him. “You didn’t look happy when the professor paired us together”.
Well, that was true, but not for the reasons you thought.
“You seem outgoing with everyone, but you always look tense when I hang around you,” you continued rambling, feeling offended at the reminiscences of every time Hyunjin acted like a jerk around you. “Am I that annoying?”.
You were the farthest thing from annoying, but he couldn’t tell you that. Hyunjin wasn’t good at flirting or being sly around you, so being bluntly honest with you wasn’t an option unless he wanted to sound intense.
“Mh,” there was not much he could say, really. He knew it wasn’t true, but he wasn’t going to try to convince you otherwise. It was best for you to think of him as someone distant and cold rather than a complete dumbass who fantasized about you almost every single day.
“See?” you barked. “You are not denying it”.
“I don't think you are annoying,” Hyunjin murmured, trying hard not to stumble upon his words. “I guess we just don't hang around that much”.
“Mh, is that so?” You tried hard to make eye contact with him, but it was useless. It seemed as if he was avoiding any kind of interaction with you, and that amused you as much as it bothered you. “I know you are lying because you can't even say such a thing while looking at me”.
“I don't think you are annoying,” Hyunjin repeated, tilting his head at you ever so slightly. He wasn't too fond of eye contact, let alone with you.
“Ah, come on,” with a soft groan, you cupped Hyunjin’s cheeks with one of your hands and forced him to look into your direction. “I don't believe you”.
His eyes widened slightly, and the skin underneath your palm started to feel warm with each second that passed.
“What?”
You were staring at him with doe eyes and, for a split second, Hyunjin felt anger at your naiveness. Were you really that oblivious to your own charms? Or did you just enjoy feeling like a predator hunting its prey? Either scenario made him feel pathetic.
If you were that naive, then that would mean that he is nothing more but a pathetic pervert that gets turned on by everything you do. But if you weren't, and instead were fully aware of the power you held over him, that would mean that you were just toying with him.
“I don't find you annoying,” Hyunjin murmured. “If I did, I wouldn't be here”.
“Well you came 20 minutes late and can't even engage in small talk,” you continued bickering, “it seems to me that you don't want to be here”.
At that point, Hyunjin understood you were just doing that to tease him —you were pushing all his buttons trying to get any kind of reaction from him. As far as he was concerned, that was much like you; according to your friends and classmates, you were a complete tease.
Hyunjin loved that about you as much as he hated it.
“I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” he stuttered. Your skin was burning against his, and he prayed for you to not notice the rising tint in his cheeks.
You smiled, still cupping both of his cheeks as if that small gesture wasn’t weird to perform on an almost stranger —still, you could tell he was nervous. “I’m just messing with you, Hwang,” you finally scoffed, letting go of the grip you had on his face.
You didn’t think he hated you, but his behavior was, in fact, odd around you. Hyunjin wasn’t the extroverted type, but you could tell there was a difference between how he engaged with everyone and you.
You weren’t the extroverted type either unless you had to  —that night, as he was quiet as usual, you had decided to try and lighten up the mood by teasing him. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to start a conversation, but you just didn’t know any better.
“So,” you sat down properly on your space, moving away from him as he sensed the loss of your warmth, “project ideas”.
It was impressive how much power you held over Hyunjin and how indifferent he was to you —even he couldn’t begin to comprehend such a thing.
It was such a small, playful action; you had decided to make a suggestive joke, inviting him to look at you. Then, you touched him. Even if it wasn’t anything sexual, his body reacted in such a way —his skin got covered in goosebumps, his heart skipped a beat and the unpleasant pressure between his legs didn’t take long to appear.
That made him feel embarrassed.  
He wasn’t as experienced as others, nor had much going on in his sexual life, but there was something shameful in getting turned on that easily by someone he barely knew. Even worse, by someone who wasn’t doing anything to drive him to that place.
And then you changed the subject, so casually and quickly that it made him feel pathetic. You were back to thinking about project ideas and he was still frozen in its place, imagining that your touch was still there, that your gaze was still fixed in his, and that the following events weren’t as they had been.
You had moved from moment to moment so easily, yet he was still pressing the couch cushion against his lap trying for his growing bulge to go unnoticed.
“Hwang?”
“Huh?” Hyunjin blinked a few times before facing you, tilting his head ever so slightly as he tried to bring back anything from what you had said the past 2 minutes. Nothing, he was too busy thinking about how it was a mistake to wear a pair of sweatpants that evening.
You stared at him with furrowed eyebrows, “were you listening?”
He swallowed thickly and interrupted eye contact, turning to face the paper sheets scattered on the coffee table. Your eyes immediately fell down to the striped cushion which he cautiously held against his body, his hand pressing it just enough for his grip to look both rough and gentle at the same time.
“What was it?” Hyunjin shyly asked.
He expected you to start talking again like you had been doing ever since he got there, but you remained silent. Instead, you tilted your head at him, staring shamelessly at the object he seemed to be clinging to.
If there was one thing you were good at and he wasn’t, was bearing silence.
“I was- I kind of got lost in the middle,” he rambled, trying hard to hide his obvious nervousness. “You were saying something about, uh-”.
It seemed as if the only way you could make Hyunjin Hwang talk was by being quiet. The longer you stared at him, the more he talked —or tried to, better said.
“Hyunjin,” you interrupted, offering him the sweetest yet most taunting smile he had ever seen from you.
He was doomed.
By the way your eyes were lingering on the striped cushion and the corners of your lips raised in a mischievous smile, he knew you knew.
And in that split second, where your eyes met his tense body and flustered gaze, everything started to make sense.
“We don't need to have everything done by tonight,” you murmured with a flirting tone he wasn't oblivious to.
Prior to that day, Hyunjin had always stood out to you. It wasn't just his looks or physical appearance, but there was something inviting about him that, even then, you were trying to figure out.
You had a slight crush on him, but that wasn't saying much —every woman you knew had a thing for Hyunjin Hwang. He really wasn't the dating type, nor showed any interest in casual dates, yet you knew a fair amount of girls who would date him in a heartbeat.
But because of how uninterested he was about the women surrounding him, and how awkward he always seemed to get around you, you never thought of him as something more than just a pretty man.
“We should-,” he continued, avoiding your eyes who were practically begging for him to look at you, “discuss the id-”.
“Hyunjin,” you repeated, shifting your position on the couch so your body could face him. “Stop”.
His cheeks were flushed, his bottom lip was caught between his teeth and his gaze was slowly losing its spark. His eyes were no longer bright but dark —still, the characteristic softness of them never faded away.
“Are you okay?”
The question was innocent, but Hyunjin knew it hid something mischievous. Even so, he was hoping to be able to fool you.
“I think I just- need to go to the bathroom,” he murmured shyly, spreading his legs inconspicuously as he tried to fix his issue.
You glared at the striped cushion and then at him, trying to make him understand that you just couldn't be tricked.
“Is that so?” There was a teasing tone in your voice Hyunjin could pick up on well, but he chose to ignore it —instead, he was trying hard to believe his own lie.
But it was almost impossible; from the way your gaze was practically devouring him to the way your arm grazed against his ever so slightly, he just couldn't focus on anything else.
“Y-yes”.
“Right there,” you pointed at one of the doors and smiled when Hyunjin realized what he had put himself through.
In order to get to the bathroom, he would have to stand up from the couch. And by standing up, he would have to leave the striped cushion behind —otherwise it would've looked weird if he decided to walk along your living room while holding a cushion against his crotch.
“What is it?”
Hyunjin felt cornered. And humiliated.
“Think I'll just stay here,” he struggled, looking down at the object on his lap and avoiding your touch.
He was sure that if you were to cup his cheeks one more time or grab his arm in a playful manner, he would come right then in his pants. That's how much power you had over him.
“You are flushed,” just as if you had been reading his thoughts for the past fifteen minutes, you leaned forward to touch his forehead with your palm. “And you are burning, too”.
At that point, Hyunjin felt terrible. His cock twitched inside his pants as he felt your delicate touch on him again, and he was sure that his sweatpants had now a dark, wet patch on them.
All because of you.
“You were just fine when you got here though,” you were toying with him, and he could tell. “I wonder what happened”.
Hyunjin swallowed tickly once he felt your hand on his cheek and jaw, teasing the side of his neck only to return back to its original place at his forehead.
For a split second, he thought about going for it. But what exactly was he going for? His cock was hard in his pants and the whole moment just made him look pathetic. On top of that, he didn't trust you enough. Would you laugh at him and call him a pervert? Or would you like the idea that you can get him hard that easily?
“Come on,” you murmured, grabbing the cushion as soon as he let his guard down. He was too lost into his own thoughts that he only realized you had taken it away when it was already too late.
His hands flew to his crotch, but it was all useless.
The raise of one of your eyebrows let Hyunjin know he had lost a game he didn't even know he was playing in the first place. It seemed as if, from the moment he walked through your apartment door, your only mission was for him to drop that distant facade he thoroughly tried to build around you.
And oh, how you succeeded.
He stared at you for what felt like ages, his body leaning forward as he tried to hide his bulge. The worst part was that, even after being caught, his cock didn't soften, it was all quite the opposite.
“Hm,” you finally hummed, interrupting the awkward silence between the both of you. “I thought you were feeling ill”.
Truth was, he did feel ill. His head was spinning around, he felt dizzy, his heart was racing at a thousand miles per hour and his hands were sweating like never before. At some point, he felt as if he was going to faint.
But even then, when he knew you had caught him red-handed in the middle of possibly one of the most humiliating situations a man can ever be in, you just couldn't stop staring at him.
Your eyes were fixed on the silhouette of his bulge, his sweatpants only leaving much to the imagination. His hand reached out for the striped cushion yet again, establishing a physical barrier between you and what you were dying to see.
“I guess you were right,” you murmured after an awkward silence, still with your gaze placed on that specific spot. “You don't find me annoying”.
It was a subtle, amusing joke to lighten up the mood, but Hyunjin couldn't relax. All he could think of was your eyes analyzing every part of him, from his rosy cheeks to the stained gray sweatpants.
“I should probably- just, you know, I can get the project done on my own. I will just-,” he was rambling, again. It was really a pathetic move, but what else was he supposed to do? He had never felt as embarrassed.
“Do you like me?”
Hyunjin stared at you with both eyes open like plates. There was no point in asking that question, especially not after you caught him with a boner in the middle of just a college project.
“I mean, sexually,” you added.
He thought, wasn't it obvious? His cock always got rock hard whenever you were around. Whenever he jerked himself off, all he could think about was you. Even when he didn't want to, even when he tried to think about anyone but you, you were the only one he could think of as he came.
“I- you know, I'm just-”.
“It's a yes or no question, Hyunjinnie,” you taunted him.
God, how he hated that nickname. It made him feel pathetic, which was not too far from reality.
“No”.
A blatant lie. No matter how hard Hyunjin tried to pretend he didn't feel attracted towards you, his past actions could rat him out anytime. The amount of times he had jerked off to your instagram pictures, the countless occasions he got hard just from seeing you and the embarrassing moments in which your name had slipped from his lips every time he humped his pillow were enough proof that he was into you.
“No?” you asked him, incredulous.
He shook his head. “I- think we should just- focus on the assignment”.
It took Hyunjin all the courage within him to not run away from the scene, lock himself up in his apartment and drop out of college. He did want to run away from your apartment, though, but he couldn't —his whole body was frozen and he could only do as little as move his gaze over the scattered paper sheets in front of him.
“I am just trying to help you here,” you exhaled deeply, clearly upset about facing rejection from such a man.
You weren't expecting him to give in right away —you knew him fairly well, and considering how shy he was, it was pointless to hope for a little bit of initiative. Yet the thing that bothered you the most was how you could tell he wanted to, but kept on denying it and pretending he just wasn't interested.
“And I can't help you if you don't let me”.
Hyunjin fixed his eyes on the small coffee table in front of him, yet his gaze was lost. Everything felt too surreal, like a dream or something pulled out of his wildest fantasies —it was all too good to be true.
“What makes you think I need help?” he gulped while asking that question, as if the answer wasn't obvious. Still, he wanted to know if you two were at least on the same page.
“Mh,” you scoffed, changing your position to end up kneeling on the couch right next to him. “Do I really need to say it?”
Truth is, you didn't. If you did say those words, he would feel too humiliated. It was humiliating enough for him to have you knowing his filthy secret, so Hyunjin just couldn't imagine how overwhelmed he would feel if you were to say anything about the situation.
“You know, it is actually kind of funny,” you taunted. Now that he was sitting right next to you, with his cock hard and his cheeks tinted, Hyunjin’s image was everything but funny.
“I am guessing this is the reason behind you not being able to concentrate on this project,” your hand sneaking all the way to the striped cushion as you took it from his lap —this time around, he didn't stop you. “So I think it's funny”.
He couldn't wrap his head about your choice of words. Funny?
“How come?” he felt less pathetic then. Still as embarrassed, but at least the relief of knowing you didn't think of him as a pervert gave him just the tiniest bit of comfort.
“You are hard and I am wet,” you chuckled, wrapping your hands underneath his left arm. That, combined with the words coming out of your mouth, made Hyunjin’s cock twitch inside his sweatpants. “Had I not seen that, we would have spent hours working on this while being aroused”.
Now, that was too good to be true.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” your hands cupped his face with delicacy, forcing him towards you. “Given the circumstances, we can help each other out, right?”
There was something Hyunjin needed to know first, before agreeing to do whatever it was that you were suggesting. Perhaps it was his ego, or mere curiosity, but he couldn't hold the question back.
“Why were you wet?”
The short, obvious answer was because you were aroused. But you both knew he didn't want to hear that —he was more interested in knowing what caused it.
“Why do you think so?” you scoffed softly, dragging your hand along his arm until it reached his wrist. “You are here, and we are both alone so it was impossible for me not to think about stuff”.
“What kind of stuff?”
For better or for worse, Hyunjin lost his inhibitions slowly. Had you reacted differently than you did, he was sure things wouldn't have been the way they were.
“Too many questions,” you shook your head softly, guiding his wrist between your parted legs. “Why don't you tell me what made you hard?”
He repressed a moan as soon as his digits grazed against your core —even with your underwear and shorts on, he could feel how warm you were.
“You,” he simply responded, fixing his eyes on the way your hand wrapped around his wrist.
“Do I make you hard?”
Hyunjin was just applying a small amount of pressure on you, yet you felt the need to swallow thickly. Your gaze was lost in the veins of his arms and the way his hand got lost between your legs.
“Yes,” Hyunjin sighed, lifting his eyes slightly up until they met your parted lips. 
The fabric of his sweatpants outlined the shape of his bulge fine, and it was impossible not to clench at the image. There was a wet, small patch on them, and you were fighting the urges to release his cock and lick the tip of it to taste him.
“Does it happen often?” you softly cooed, tightening the grip on his wrist as his fingers started to touch you over your clothes.  
Always, Hyunjin thought, when you’re around and when you’re not. 
“I’m just curious,” you continued after a few seconds of silence, “it would be a huge compliment if it does”. 
“Would it?” he swallowed thickly, gaze fluttering between your eyes and lips. “Why?”
“You know,” you replied, followed by a sigh, “you ask a lot of questions for someone who hasn’t given a proper response to any of mine”. 
Hyunjin couldn’t argue with you on that. 
“So,” still with his hand between your parted legs, you switched your position on the couch to be closer to him. “I asked you, does it happen often?”
“Yes,” he didn’t think it through this time and gave you the shortest, most honest answer within him. If that was what you needed to answer all of his questions, then he was going to play along. “Much more than I want to admit”.
“Mh,” you sarcastically pouted, resting your hand on top of his thigh. The sudden contact made him flinch in the slightest, but you found it adorable. “Don’t be shy with me, we’re not that different”. 
If he hadn’t been biting his lower lip, he was sure a whimper would’ve escaped his lips as you squeezed his thigh, softly caressing it while you made your way to his crotch. 
Luckily for him, he was showing much more self-control than the one he thought he had.
“We’re not?”
“Well, you too have turned me on more times than I can count now,” you murmured with boldness, “Is that weird? We don’t even talk much”. 
It isn’t, Hyunjin thought to himself as a series of perverted memories flooded his mind.
Not that he would willingly share them with you. At least not right now.
“But you’re just too pretty,” a sighed escaped your lips while your hand finally wrapped around his bulge, stroking it ever so slightly on top of his clothes, “I can’t help myself”.
Hyunjin kicked his head back, resting it against the back of the sofa. His hand was still between your legs, and your hand was gripping the silhouette of his dick over his sweatpants.
It felt like something pulled out of his wildest fantasies, but he was overthinking it a lot. You were there, admittedly wet, and he was with you, painfully hard —it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, if you will, and he was about to waste it triumphantly.
“‘m sorry,” he squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing like you were hurting him albeit the soft grip you had on him, “I can’t”. 
You missed the warmth of his digits against you almost instantly, only to be replaced by his hand wrapping around your wrist. He fully intended to push your touch away —the faster he got your hands off of him, the faster he would forget how they felt. 
But his body betrayed him, and he could only do much as squeeze your wrist while you rubbed him off.
“Want me to stop?” You asked him, not knowing if you should continue, or just let the poor man go.
His body was stiff underneath your touch, but you could feel his cock twitching against your palm. It felt deliciously good, you could only fantasize about how much better it would feel inside of you.
“I don’t- I don’t know,” he simply responded, still with his eyes shut and his head kicked back. Hyunjin wanted to engrave the feeling of your hand wrapped around him, just as much as he wished to remember the sound of your breathing and the smell of your fragrance. “Fuck, I don’t know”.
Your eyes gleamed with the pride of coming up with a plan.
“Can I help you make up your mind?”
He blinked a couple of times, his hazy gaze barely focusing on you but your pair of hands that were dangerously close to the waist of his pants. 
“You can say no, of course,” you squeezed his thigh softly, and that drew his attention back to your face, the corners of your lips rising into a flirty smile, “but I wouldn't do that if I were you”.
All he offers you in return is a sweet, desperate nod. A short one, at that —he basically tilted his head at his crotch as a way of saying go ahead, but that was all you needed to move on.
You went from sitting right by him, to kneel in the space he had created between his legs.
His eyes were following every move of yours, and refused to abandon your image at any moment —painfully enough, Hyunjin looked so fucking good from this angle of view.
The tip of your digits grazed against the elastic of his sweatpants, lowering them along with his underwear just as little as your plan required. And as soon as your hand wrapped around his erection, Hyunjin swore he was going to die. Or come. Which to Hyunjin’s concern, was exactly the same. 
“W-wait, just, shit,” he didn’t wrap his hand around your wrist this time, but the conflict in his voice made you stop right on your tracks even before you got to do anything. “Wait, I’m not- I’m not that experienced, you know?”
“So?” You queried without bothering to hide the fact that the sudden confession perked you up a little.
“I just don’t want to embarrass myself,” Hyunjin exhaled, “which I probably already did, and I'm doing”. 
So it really wasn't that he didn't like you enough, or that he didn't want this just as much as you did.
“What’s the worst thing that can happen, anyway?” your hands were still gripping the base of his cock, teasing it against your lips as you spoke. 
“That I might come too fast,” he stuttered, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “You're not even doing anything and I can feel my cock throbbing like crazy”.
The filthy choice of words made your heart skip a beat —that, paired with the raspiness and deepness of his tone, only had you wishing he wouldn't shut up at all.
“So?” You repeated again, grinning with mischief. “I don’t mind if you come quick, as long as you can get hard for me again”.
Hyunjin let out a mixture between a moan and a grunt at your words, feeling visibly affected by them.
“If you keep saying stuff like that, I will come,” he inhaled sharply and swallowed thickly at the sight of your smile. 
“Just tell me where”. 
The small confidence Hyunjin built for himself after voicing out his concerns slowly faded away as soon as your tongue grazed against the tip of his cock —for a moment, he really thought he could hold up pretty well. But the sight of you as you made eye contact with him, while your tongue dragged along the side of his dick, was enough proof that he just couldn't stand a chance against his libido.
“Fuck,” he sighed, catching his lower lip between his teeth ever so slightly, “’m sorry”. 
At that, you cocked an eyebrow. “Sorry about what?” 
The kitten licks you were giving the tip of his cock didn't make things any easier for Hyunjin —the idea of putting together a whole sentence seemed impossible, and he knew if he were to talk in the middle of it he would just look pathetic.
“I don't mean to be this loud,” his hands were something between gripping the edge of the couch, and resting over his spread thighs; he was too focused on repressing the string of curses and moans that threatened to escape his lips. 
“But I want to hear you, Hyunjin,” you purred, stroking his dick against one of your cheeks.
The sight was to die for, quite literally —your lips were glistening with spit, just like your chin and now your cheek. Both of your hands were wrapped around his dick, and you just looked too cute despite the lewd setting you were in.
“I love it when you curse,” you encouraged him, leaving wet kisses along his shaft. “You sound so good, you know?”
The compliments were definitely getting to Hyunjin's head, and you could tell because little by little, he started to leave the awkwardness aside and get really immersed in the moment.
He seemed too afraid of screwing things up, for some reason. You, on the other hand, didn't think he could screw anything up at all —Hyunjin had always turned you by doing the bare minimum, and you wondered if he was well aware of that.
You knew he wasn't, otherwise he would've carried himself with a little more ego and pride than he did. 
"But you're a good boy, aren't you?" you continued, gently spitting on his cock to use it as lube. As you jerked him off, Hyunjin's hips instinctively bucked your palm. “You don’t curse, you don’t break rules, you don’t ever get loose…” 
“I’m not that- good,” Hyunjin hissed, biting down his lower lip. “I just- fuck".
He kicked his head back when he felt a delicious squeeze of your hands around his balls, interrupting whatever it was that he meant to say.
“Do you like it when I touch you like this?” You asked, based on his reaction. 
Again, you squeezed his balls ever so slightly while the tip of your tongue swirls around the head of his cock. 
“I fucking love it”.
God, he sounded so good. So good when he cursed, when he moaned and when your name fell from his lips. Sensuality looked good on him, despite him not knowing jack shit about it. 
"I swear I've never wanted to taste someone so bad in my entire life," you giggled, letting out a hiss when you felt his hard dick throbbing between your hands, "want you to come in my mouth, I’ll swallow it".
You weren't his first —despite his awkwardness and lack of girlfriend history whatsoever, Hyunjin had a couple of experiences he could trail back to. 
But none of them came close to whatever it was that he was feeling right now.
“I’m close,” he warned you, his hands alternating between grabbing your head and your cheeks, “fuck- I’m so fucking close”.
Eagerly, you continued bopping your head up and down his length, jerking off with your hands the part that just couldn't fit in your mouth. Between your strokes and the way you squeezed and caressed his balls, you had Hyunjin coming in no time.
“Shit-” he whimpered, forcing your head down onto his cock until your nose hit his pubic bone. 
You weren't expecting him to make you deepthroat his cock, but you tried to take it like a champ nonetheless. All for him and his pleasure.
And honestly, he didn't mean to do that exactly. It was an instinct, something done in the heat of the moment, but he just couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed maybe a bit too much the sound and feeling of you gagging around his dick.
You had never seen someone looking this hot while coming —his cheeks were flushed, his eyebrows furrowed, his teeth were chewing at his bottom lip and his whole body was shaking and grinding ever so slightly against your mouth, hips raised against the couch while he chased his high.
It was a long high —he came so much down your throat, it eventually spilled out from the corners of your lips onto the length and base of his cock. 
Messy, but neither of you could begin to care.
“God,” Hyunjin exhaled, his whole body relaxing onto the couch after all the tension he had been carrying ever since got to your apartment. 
He let go of your face and you continued jerking him off with his own cum for a couple of seconds as your movements died down. 
“Did you- did you swallow it?”
Rather than giving him a response, you just stuck out your tongue —empty, clean, with just a small amount of him still in you. He tasted just like you imagined, and that did nothing more than to turn you on. 
“I told you,” you smiled, “I wanted to taste you”.
Hyunjin looked at you for a couple of seconds, blinking perplexed. His heart was still going at a thousand miles per hour, his head was spinning around your apartment and his cock was still as rock hard, despite having come just minutes ago.
And, impulsively, he leaned down to kiss you.
You were still on your knees between his legs, but he cupped your cheeks and practically forced you onto his lips. It was sloppy, and fast, but at the same time it was far from unpleasant. The feeling of his tongue against yours, tasting himself off of you, was enough to elicit a moan from the two of you. 
From one moment to another you were no longer kneeling between his legs, but laying down on the couch with your back against a soft cushion. Hyunjin was between kneeling and sitting right on top of you, with his hands on either side of your body.
“I want to taste you too,” he panted in between kisses, leaving a wet trail of them from your lips to your jaw, “want to make you feel real good, just like you did to me”. 
You were dying to fuck him, but you weren't going to reject it. More than one night you snuck your hand between your panties wishing it was Hyunjin's face and tongue, so you trembled in excitement at knowing that one of your fantasies was about to become true.
Or a couple of them.
“Please,” yours and Hyunjin’s hands lost no time in struggling you out of your bottoms, leaving them out of your rear of view. 
Embarrassingly for you, but luckily to Hyunjin, the fabric and color of your underwear did absolutely nothing to hide your wetness —stripping you out of it was a delight to him, who could catch a glimpse of your arousal sticking to your panties.
Carefully, he positioned himself somewhat flat against the couch with his face between your legs. Your back was slightly straight against the couch's arm rest, and your knees softly bent with your feet against the faux leather of it, so he hooked one of his hands under your thigh while the other caressed the side of your body.
“You’re so pretty,” Hyunjin whispered under his breath leaving a couple of shy kisses along your inner thighs. The slight contact of his breathing against your hot cunt made your back arched. “Pretty face, pretty pussy”. 
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
His half-lidded eyes looked up to you, “I've always thought you were the prettiest”.
He started off really slow, getting to know your body. You were desperate for more, for something messy and rough, but you allowed him to take his time. Even more so because it seemed though as if he was gaining confidence as he explored you, and you loved to see it.
“So good,” he groaned against your slit, “could eat you out for hours”. 
You wouldn't mind. He just looked too good buried in the heat between your legs, and his wet tongue felt heavenly against your clit and folds. 
After some time, his fingers came into the mix as well. Two digits stretching your cunt open, cautiously, while he kept on licking and sucking your clit.
“Right there Hyunjin,” you arched your back, gasping when his digits brushed against that spot. “Fuck, you just- shit, right there feels so fucking good”.
Seeing you like that, gasping and writhing underneath him, contributed a little to his ego. 
“Is it good?”
“Fucking perfect,” you cursed, rolling your hips against him, “can’t wait to feel your cock”.
Hyunjin knew that things were eventually leading up to sex, but it didn't feel real until you named it. Until you told him you wanted to feel him inside you, until you implied that it was only a matter of minutes before he got to enact his fantasies with you.
His hips grinded against the couch, too, as he ate you out. 
Needy to feel your warmth, desperate to give you all of his cum again.
“I want you to come first like this,” Hyunjin murmured, with his fingers buried in your pussy and his nose brushing ever so slightly against your swollen clit, “with my mouth and fingers. Then, I will make you come with my cock”.
You moaned at his words.
“It’s a promise?” 
“It’s a promise”. 
You kicked your head back against the couch’s arm rest, and arched your back when you felt the tension threatening to unravel down your lower abdomen.
His tongue was moving deliciously where you needed it, and his fingers never lost its pace and rhythm inside you.
“Hyunjin,” you chanted, latching your fingers onto his dark hair, “don’t stop”. 
Not that he was planning to.
“Are you going to come?” 
“Yes,” you nod frantically, moving your hips as much as his grip allowed you to. “So close Hyunjin, I’m so close”. 
Heavenly. 
His name falling from your lips felt right, just like it did your mouth around his cock and his tongue flat against your clit. You felt right, much more better than whatever he had been imagining the past years while masturbating on his own.
“Like that,” Hyunjin hissed, watching in awe the way your pussy and ass clenched at your orgasm. But as much as he wanted to enjoy the view, he also wanted to feel you getting wetter and wetter as you came, so he quickly returned to latch his mouth on your pussy and his eyes on you. 
“Shit!” your hips were bucking against his face frantically, almost aggressively. But he didn't stop, and elongated your high as much as he possibly could, “Can’t stop- fuck, can’t stop coming”. 
It felt like a never ending orgasm, one prompted by Hyunjin's lustful gaze —the more eye contact you made, the more aroused you felt.
“More, more Hyunjin,” you sounded desperate, and that made his dickthrob against the couch. He wanted to make you come again, and again, and until you no could no longer take it.
But he would be lying if he said he wasn't impatient for fucking you. 
“I’ll give you more,” he murmured, withdrawing from your body when you finally came down from your high. “But just- want to give it to you with my cock”. 
Whenever you thought about sex with Hyunjin, you always pictured yourself being on top. Maybe it was because of his shyness, or because you felt like you needed to take the initiative, but you almost always came at the thought of you bouncing up and down his dick.
Much to your surprise, he didn't lose time before positioning his body between your spread legs, not before removing his shirt and doing the same with yours as well.
He was going to fuck you in missionary, you figured. And you almost came at the realization of it.
Most men these days all they want is to get their dicks wet with minimal to no effort —Hyunjin was trying hard to please you, and that was alone much more satisfactory than any other experienced you had so far.
“I want to see your face when I'm fucking you," it was almost like he read your thoughts. Not that you had any complains, but quick fucks never cared for the intimacy sex entailed.
Hyunjin was different.
“Definitely not my best look,” you swallowed, thinking about your ruined make up and post-orgasm fucked out face. 
“I could come just by looking at you,” he confessed, eyes falling to your spread legs. “I swear”. 
You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pumped his dick a few times before realizing that he was missing something.
“You uh-” he felt embarrassed, but he honestly didn’t think he would get to fuck you, out of all the people. He came to your apartment to work on a school project, not to get laid. “I don’t have a condom”. 
“Want to do it raw?”
He gulped.
Of course he wanted to. Using a condom was never part of his fantasies —shit, almost all his fantasies ended up with him filling you up, despite how risky that was. 
“I honestly want to, but I’d understand if you-”.
“Are you-”
“I’m on the pill,” you reassured him, “and I’m clean. I want you to fuck me raw if that’s what you want too”. 
“I do,” Hyunjin sighed, licking his lips at the thought of getting to really feel you. “Fuck, I do”. 
And despite the logical, rational part of him that insisted it probably wasn't the brightest idea ever, Hyunjin guided the tip of his cock against your clit. The sudden stimulation made your body jolt, but he didn't stay there for too long. 
His cock slid easily right inside, and the way your walls clenched around him as they got used to his size almost makes Hyunjin come.
“Finally,” you exhaled, closing your eyes while he bottomed out slowly.
Hyunjin groaned quietly, softly pressing your hips against his. 
“You’re so tight,” he gritted his teeth, “squeezing me just right”.
He hovered you, leaning down to kiss you yet again. He wasn't moving, just fully enjoying the way you felt wrapped around him.
He didn't know if he was going to have another chance to experience this, so he intended to memorize everything —from the way your tongue tasted, to the way your pussy clenched on him.
Only this time, the kiss wasn't as sloppy; it was intense, deep and it left you breathless. He kissed you ardently, brushing his tongue against yours, biting down your lower lip and pulling it ever so slightly.
“I’m going to-” he sighed in between kisses, “are you- alright?”
“Yes,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, and your legs around his hips, “fuck me already, Hyunjin”.
Slowly but surely, he started acquiring a pace of his own. And fuck, it felt delicious.
His pubic bone slammed against your clit, providing some stimulation; his cock reached the deepest spots inside you, and his mouth worked wonders on your neck and chest. 
It was unfair how perfect he was —so good at everything.
“Harder,” your hands reached out to cup his face, pressing your forehead against his. “Fuck me harder, please”.
He understood what you wanted.
Hyunjin didn't necessarily fucked you faster after you plea, no. He smacked his hips against yours roughly, going impossibly deeper into you. His pace was slow, but each thrust made you moan and gasp every time.
“There you go,” he murmured in a quiet, drowned groan.
You hid your face on the crook of his neck, sucking on his flesh meaning to leave red and purple blossoms all over it. For some reason, the idea of seeing him the next day at college campus and peeking to see the marks you left on him kind of excited you.
It was also going to remind you that this was real, and that it happened.
“Right there, Hyunjin,” you enjoyed the feeling of him ruthlessly pounding into you. He was sweet, gentle, and caring, but his movements weren't. He appeared to be someone innocent, but he wasn’t —at least not when he was fucking you good like he this.
“Feeling good?”
“Perfect,” you replied, “you’re so- hard inside me, you feel perfect”. 
The harshness of his thrusts suddenly died down as he regained his pace; they become hotter, more sensual. 
His eyes went from looking at you, to closing shut at times. He licked his lower lip constantly, alternating between chewing on it softly, too. 
When Hyunjin wasn't too focused on his overwhelming pleasure, he was focused on your body.
How it reacted, how sensitive it was, what things you liked. He kissed your chest and sucked on your hardened nipples, and he soon understood you loved it —at least judged by the way you clenched around his dick. 
He also realized he liked the feeling of your fingers latched onto his hair —he enjoyed when you pulled it a bit too roughly, and he didn't mind the pain of it.
“Can you come with me?” Hyunjin asked in between grunts. “I’m close- but I want you to come with me, come at the same time”. 
“I’m close too,” you sneaked a hand between your bodies, rubbing your clit lazily. “Want to come with you, and feel you coming inside me”. 
It suddenly became much more intimate than you initially intended to —his eyes were glued to yours, saying way more than his words could ever do. You could see the lust, affection, and even perversion in his gaze; the longing of always staring from afar, but now getting to have you underneath him with your legs spread and your pussy around him.
It didn't take you any long to reach that sweet release you both had been chasing ever since he stepped a foot into your apartment.
“I’m coming,” you gasped, digging your nails onto the flesh of his shoulders and back, “come”. 
Hyunjin pressed his forehead against yours, and when he felt your walls clenching, he immediately released too. 
He didn’t want to think about his cum filling you up, nor the image of his arousal oozing out of your pretty pusy. He didn’t want to think too much about what you just let him do, and he didn’t want to think about the risk of it although it kind of turned him on.
A loud moan escaped his lips when he thrusted his cock harder into you, reaching yet another deep spot inside your walls. With each slam of his hips, he shot his orgasm painting you white from the inside. 
A warm, eerie feeling you hadn't experience before, because you just refused to fuck anyone raw.
But Hyunjin isn't just anyone.
“God,” he gulped loudly, panting and out of breath. 
You could feel his cum dripping out of you, despite his dick still filling you up, and you just couldn't believe how much he came twice in a row.
“Was it good?” your voice sounded exactly the same, hoarse and strained. You could barely breathe, but you didn’t care  —he collapsed on top of you carefully, without wanting to hurt you, and you both tried to stabilize your breathing together.
“Better than my imagination, that’s for sure”. 
You kissed his cheek and enjoyed the intimacy, wondering if the shy, awkward Hyunjin was going to make an appearance any time soon. In very little time you got to see a whole new side of him, just as shy but a lot less shallow than what you “knew” about him prior to that day, and you were still not ready to find out how things were going to be after this.
“I should probably- get something to clean you up,” you only realized how messy a creampie is when Hyunjin pulled out, making his cum to drip out of you and onto the couch. 
But you came up with a better plan.
“What if we take a shower?”
He looked at you, but soon diverted his gaze to the pile of unfinished work you had. 
“Come on, don’t get shy on me,” you pouted, sitting carefully on the couch right next to him. “I’m not getting shy it’s just-”, he makes a long pause and smiles to himself. A very faint, almost imperceptible grimace, but you caught on it, “I don’t think I can be naked around you without ending up fucking you again”. 
“Sounds like a win to me”.
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“I expected much more from the two of you,” Mr. Jung handed you the final essay you allegedly worked so hard on. Judged by the stern tone of his voice, and the deep exhalation your project partner let out, you can only assume it was a bad grade. “Not the greatest work you’ve had delivered”. 
Your gaze fell down in embarrassment, and Hyunjin cleared his throat, “we’re sorry. With the end of the semester we kind of- got distracted”. 
And if by distracted you mean fucking like animals at every chance you were alone, whether in a private or a public setting, then yes.You got so fucking distracted.
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yeppeun-riaa · 2 months
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♡ Hate sex♡
multiple x reader
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It was no secret that you and him absolutely hated each other's guts, and you don't hold back on telling him just how much you hate him.
But maybe you went a tad bit to far, completely embarrassing him infront of countless other people, at this point you forgot what you did, too far gone with the way he was abusing your hole.
"Ohmyfuckinggod!-please" your eyes rolled back so far into your head you swore youcaught a glimpse of your brain and you moaned like some where. "Liltte bitch—fuck—you thought you could get away with makin' a fucking fool outta me, hmm?" Your mouth hangs agape and you yelp at the harsh connection of his hand to your ass.
He grips your hair and pulls your face up, pressing the rest of your body against the wall, "fucking answer me, slut" he slaps you hard again, your back arching so much that it hurt. "No! I'm-im sorry—shiiit I won't do it again" you moan again, you should be embarrassed really, how wet you were, how much you enjoyed him using you like this, it's pathetic, I mean, you hate him, right?
"I'm gonna cum! Please!" He moaned softly and sucked small marks onto your neck, sliding his hand to your puffy clit, rubbing swift circles onto your bundle of nerves, "fucking cum then" he say harshly and it throws you over the edge, but he doesn't stop, oh did you think he was done with you?
Tears spill out your eyes at the overstimulation, he was still rubbing your clit and pounding into you, "noo! St-stop its to much!" You whined but he only laughed and thrusted harder, making you scream and come undone on his cock for the second time, you're pretty sure people outside could hear you screaming and full on crying.
"Fuuckk, this is what happens to sluts like you that don't know your place" he says into your ear as tears stream down your face, it feel too good, you feel his hips stutter and he practically growls into your ear, "cum with me" And so you cum for the third time, moaning at how his cum fills you up.
He pulls out and tucks himself back into his pants, turning you around and kissing you, nice and long before pulling away laughing at how much of a fucking mess you looked, his cum mixed with your juices dripping down your thighs, your makeup ruined, eyes red from crying, you once ironed clothes now completely wrinkled. He patted your head and pulled your skirt down "next time think twice about being such a little bitch" he spat leaning down and taking one of your nipples into his mouth and you whined when he bit down. He pulled away and buttoned back up your shirt.
"Now get out, I want everyone to see you with my cum dripping out of you, and don't for a second think Im done with you yet."
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ran haitani, rindou haitani, sanzu haruchiyo, taiju shiba, izana kurokawa(tr) toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, hiromi higuruma(jjk) Jean kirstein(aot) and your fav cuz I can't think of anyone else:)
REBLOG IF YOU LIKED IT=))
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cherrychilli · 5 months
Text
Slip of the Tongue
A mini series I 18+ I Enemies to lovers
Chapter two
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Eddie Munson x neighbor! reader
Reader and Eddie are the same age - she's in College and he's repeating his senior year once again.
Chapter Summary: Eddie invites you back to his room for a one on one demonstration of his skills.
A/N: Sorry for edging y'all last chapter. This one's pure smut start to finish. Enjoy💛
Chapter warnings: Oral sex (f), fingering, squirting
Tag list rules:
New additions: Make sure to both reblog the chapter and comment to let me know if you'd like to be added to the list and PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE CLEARLY LISTED IN YOUR BIO IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED. AGELESS BLOGS/BLANK BLOGS/MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.
Current tag list: Make sure to reblog the chapter if you'd like to remain on the list for future updates.
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The stress had taken its toll on you.
Juggling two part time jobs while studying for your college midterms had you running on fumes, unable to unwind no matter what you tried. The little time you had to yourself was usually spent catching up on sleep but that wasn't ever enough to reinvigorate you, not when you had other needs that went unmet in the meantime.
You were desperate for some real stress relief, bordering on delirious. You had to be because how the hell else could you explain ending up in Eddie Munson's bedroom? Lying in his bed, your panties amongst the litter of cassettes and fantasy magazines strewn across his bedroom floor, and said boy's head between your thighs.
"You better not be wasting my time, Munson", you tried your best to sound tough, a near impossible task when his lips are brushing against your inner thigh, so very close to your slit. He had your skirt pushed out of the way to bunch at your waist, large, rough hands wrapped around your thighs which bracket his face.
"So feisty", he cooed back in reply, breath puffing warm against your core.
It's all so painfully surreal, being here like this, but you try your hardest not to think about it too hard for the sake of keeping your sanity intact. About how Eddie's got you laid out and completely exposed, your bare pussy mere inches away from the boy you'd come over to yell at, the same boy who'd caused a fair amount of the tension he's now offering to help relieve with his tongue.
"Don't worry. I'm going to take real good care of you", he breaks you out of your internal spiral, a teasing but lighthearted lilt to his voice as if somehow, he'd sensed your nerves.
And then he says, "You ready?"
It's a simple yes or no question, much easier than the ones you've been pouring over for days in your practice tests but you find this one the hardest to answer. Not because you're unsure of what to say – you had your answer ready and tucked at the back of your throat ever since his fingers climbed up your thighs to tug at the waistband of your panties.
No, it's because you’re certain that when you answer him, everything’s going to change.
"Yeah...go ahead", you manage to wring the words from your throat, fingers clenching his sheets, eyes trained up at the ceiling because watching him somehow feels like too much.
The few seconds that elapse before his mouth descends on you feels like you’re freefalling, a sharp, plunging descent with no way to prepare yourself for the impact of his tongue gently licking at your folds, thighs jerking as he lapped at the slick which had gathered when you watched him play through the window.
"Y' know, for someone who's always in a sour mood you taste pretty fucking sweet", he smirked, knowing it would set you off, thumb momentarily skimming your folds in place of his tongue.
Ordinarily, a comment like that would have earned him a knee to the groin but now, in this maddeningly bizarre situation you've find yourself in the middle of, your body reacts against its usual instincts, hips shifting off the bed to chase his mouth for more.
"Don't stop", you mutter loud enough for him to hear, tone somewhere between commanding and imploring, eyes slipping shut.
You've never felt a warmth like the kind that seeps into your veins like sunlight when Eddie's broad tongue parts your folds, licking his way up to your clit to lightly swirl the pointed tip over your sensitive bud, hands bringing your hips back down to bed to hold them firmly in place.
"Shit, Eddie that's...nice", you sigh out, perhaps the most civil thing you've said to him in weeks.
Everything smelled like him – the sheets, the pillows, even you, you realize as you turned to press your cheek against his mattress, your hair now carrying the same woodsy, smoky scent, inhaling a little deeper to take in that undertone of boyish musk you find yourself strangely drawn to.
His scent.
Another soft swipe of his tongue along your folds has your toes curling but what's makes the fluttering sensation brewing in the pit of your stomach grow stronger is knowing that he's carrying your scent too.
"Oh fuck..."
The way his tongue roams you is slow and lingering, not at all like what you'd watched him do with his guitar but fuck does it feel good, having his fingers press into the meat of your thighs like he’s afraid you might slip through them at any moment, teasing your clit with soft kitten licks, plush lips occasionally trapping the bud to suck lightly before releasing it again.
He's building you up for what's to come, taking his time to find out what makes your breath stutter and your spine curve in an effort to press yourself closer to him, getting you to loosen up and give yourself to him.
Minutes go by like this though you’re not sure how many. Ten? fifteen? maybe longer, of him lazily laving and sucking gently and it's amazing but it’s also only nearly enough, steadily stoking the fire inside you. It’s enough to draw out a soft pants and muffled moans out of you, enough to make all the tension that had wound you so tight begin to unravel but not enough to grant you the release you're seeking.
Chest heaving, you can’t bring yourself to beg, afraid of what you might sound like if you did, a choked whine of Eddie’s name so close to spilling from your lips already. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing it.
Angling your right foot, you’re able to reach down and press your heel into his waist, not forceful, just enough to make him pull away from cunt, lips sheened with your slick and chin brushing the soft curls on your mound when he peeks up from between your legs.
“Need more already huh?”, he beats you to it, knowing and smug.
As much as you wanted to deny it, you already missed having his mouth on you. Lips pressing into a thin line to show your annoyance, you try to grasp at the right words from the jumble of them knocking around inside your head, hoping to pick the ones that might help you seem less needy than you actually feel, not wanting to boost his ego more than you probably already have.
“What you did earlier when you were playing… that was different”, you point out carefully.
“I know, I’m just getting you ready”, he explains matter-of-factly, eyes dropping back down to your cunt, gently spreading your folds apart with his thumbs with rapt attention.
“I am ready”, you try to argue, a little breathless but firm.
Eddie meets your stern gaze again and gives you a skeptical look in return, holding your stare for a few more seconds as if assessing you before he ultimately yields.
"Alright alright. Listen, uh - this might get a little intense so just um… pinch my hand if it gets too much for you and I'll stop, okay?", he winds one arm around your hip, holding out his hand for you to take.
The shift in demeanor has you slightly taken aback. He’d been so cocky for most this, showing shades of something softer at times but this was the most blatant display of that side of him so far – no sass, no crude remarks, no teasing jab. It was a side you’d seen glimpses of back when you were in school with him, that considerate streak he was sometimes partial to like when he’d taken in those freshmen who didn’t seem to fit in anywhere else. You never thought he’d show you the same kindness, no matter how veiled. Part of you even thought you didn’t deserve it after all the squabbling you’d initiated over the years.
Tentatively, you stare at the hand he offers you, his words echoing in your head loud enough to override your temporary and uncharacteristic bout of guilt.
Intense? Too much for you? Fuck, it's so hard to keep from wanting to grind your core against his face when he says things like that.
"You're pretty confident, aren't you?", you say instead, stalling so that you could discreetly wipe your palm against his sheets before you place your hand in his, afraid yours might be sweaty.
"Yeah, I am. And for good reason", he grinned, curling his much longer fingers around yours as you rest your joined hands close to your belly button, hoping he couldn't feel the storm of butterflies flapping their wings wildly inside your stomach.
“Oh, but first–”
Despite your best efforts, you can’t contain the pathetic yelp he rips from you when he pulls you closer by his free hand, picking your legs up abruptly to get them over his shoulders, spreading you even wider and getting you so close that you’re practically locked in place.
"Eddie-shit", you try to scold but it’s no use.
There’s no more soft, gentle licking when he dives in, tongue moving boldly to pulse against your clit with enough pressure to make your whole chest feel like its crackling with pops of electricity. He’d warned you it would be intense and you learned he was a man of his word, thighs twitching and quivering around his cheeks and curtain of curls. You squeeze his hand instantly, not pinching, he notices, a sign that it’s okay to continue as you throw your head back.
Spiraling again, you’re at a complete loss as to how good this feels. It never felt this good with the other boys and it definitely didn’t feel like this even when you touched yourself. How could someone who’s never touched you until today be able to get you like this so quickly and so easily?
Well, the position certainly helped. You’re entirely at his mercy like this, pinned in place from the waist down, suddenly very aware of how strong Eddie really is, not what you’d expected of someone who spent most of his time occupied with fantasy games. He groans, deep and rumbling, the vibration of it travelling through you while you fight to keep your teeth firmly set in your bottom lip, starting to writhe as he alternates between flicking your clit with his tongue and sucking on it, sloppy, wet, filthy sounds echoing plentiful in his bedroom.
It’s a riot inside your head – two thoughts competing and clashing fiercely; one part of you screams for him to slow down, that it’s all so much so fast despite having asked for it and the other roars back a resounding keep going, oh god, keep fucking going, overtaking the first.
But Eddie isn’t privy to any of this – you don’t want to let him know because even with the way he’s making it harder and harder for you to not just cry out for more, you’re much too stubborn to actually do so – knowing full well that if you were to let on just how much you’re enjoying his ministrations, he’d never let you hear the end of it.
Easier said than done.
Your resolve is withering at an alarming rate, not sure how long you can keep true to your vow of silence when he slips his tongue into your opening, pleasure and relief melding into one now that you have somethinginside you, curtailing the ache of being empty for this long. He fucks you with it, driving it in and out, lavishing you from the inside with every stroke and drag of the slippery muscle against your walls.
“Oh Ed– oh fuck”, you blabber, hips bucking up against his face. You clench around it, clit throbbing in the absence of his tongue swiping over it but the way his nose bumps the tender pearl with every sloppy thrust of your hips more than makes up for it.
He lets you rut against his face like that, only pulling back and away minutes later but you’re not left wanting for long.
A sharp gasp is pulled from you when a finger plunges into you, another joining not too long after. You feel stupid for forgetting how well those fingers moved on his guitar when he curls them inside you, long and thick, reaching deeper than your own, filling you better than his tongue did.
“Shit, listen to you”, he tutted, cunt sopping and squelching loud enough for your whole face to flare up. “Got this worked up just for me, huh?”
He wants to hear you beg; you know it. Rather than replying you whine between ragged breaths, containing the rest that threatened to spill out in moans and cries for more. But it’s nowhere near enough to satiate him now. Eddie frowns, face clouding with irritation. He wasn’t going to let you get away with stifling yourself any longer.
“Tell me how good I make you feel”, he says, tone losing its playful lilt and gaining a firm edge instead, eyes darkening.
“I’ve been real generous with you today – even after all your fucking attitude”, he punctuates with a particularly rough thrust of his fingers into your cunt, another gasp tapering into a whimper falling from your lips.
“Not g-gonna say it…” you tremor, so clearly affected by what he’s doing to you. 
He laughs but there’s no amusement there, only something foreboding glinting in his eyes. “Can feel you, honey – trying so hard to hold back but you’re soaked and you’re squeezing me so tight”, sinking his fingers in up to the knuckles.
“C’mon, I’m not asking for a lot, am I?  just say the words and I’ll let you cum,” he murmured, amber eyes hooded and locked on yours.
“Eddie-”, you start, hating how it came out all pitchy and wavering, hating it even more when you see how much he liked hearing his name leave your lips like that. “You said you would- this isn’t what we agreed- “
“Do it or I’ll stop”, he cuts you off, unsmiling. You can tell he isn’t joking when his pace falters and his fingers still inside you.
The fear of him stopping when you’re already so close rushes in with torrential urgency, no time to feel embarrassed by how quickly or how hard you squeeze his hand when you feel him begin to unweave his fingers from yours to make good on his threat, your steely grip preventing him from slipping away, begging him to stay.
“Please...”, you begin to crumble, breathy and desperate and aching for him to finish what he started.
The smile pulling at his slick lips tells you he’s appeased, pumping his fingers inside you again, slow but deep, stretching you well.
“Go on…” he encourages, speeding up when you let loose an unrestrained moan that comes out all high and pretty for him, helpless to his touch, your building arousal making you grow compliant.
“Fuck -Eddie, I’ve- I’ve never felt this good before”, you relent with a sob.
“Yeah? Poor baby – always working so hard… got no one else to take care of you. Needed it so bad, didn’t you? Couldn’t even control yourself when you saw me today, huh? Climbed in my bed and spread your legs even though you say you can't stand me”, he grins wickedly, tone thick with condescension.
He was right. For years, you were gasoline and him, the match, all of that smoldering friction between the two of you culminating in the most surprising way.
“But now you can’t get enough of me.”, he finished with a sneer.
Something new blossoms beneath your ribs – humiliation.
But instead of trying to shy away from it you find yourself welcoming the way it sprouts up like tendrils, winding around you all slow and creeping, all because you’ve been put in your place, rendered a mewling, gasping, desperate thing by the boy you’ve spent far too much time despising.
“Wanna feel your mouth on me again”, you blurt between pants, a broken, pitiful sound.
“Need you to make me cum – please”
He watches you struggle under the weight of your own desire, willing to debase yourself if it meant he’d grant you your release and it makes him chuckle, satisfied.
“Was that so hard?”, he flashed you one of those impish, shit eating grins before his mouth is on your clit again, fingers driving inside you in tandem. Your free hand shoots out to weave into his hair, clutching it like a lifeline.
The combination sends you careening towards the edge, the feeling starting to become too much when he sucks hard on your bundle of nerves but there’s no way to pull yourself away from him – not that you wanted to. Not really.
Your whole body tenses and ripples when it crests, something white hot barreling its way out of you – too fast and too intense to warn him, cunt fluttering around his moving fingers, thighs squeezing, throat growing hoarse from your cries.
It runs through you in crashing, gushing waves, leaving you shaking and keening, lungs burning for air until breath returns to you slowly, roiling intensity settling down into pulsing aftershocks. They subside when the afterglow comes next and you relish the way it drapes over your quivering body, lips trembling and chanting whispered exclamations of ‘oh my god oh my god oh my god’ up at the ceiling, still reeling from it all. It’s only when the sensation of weightlessness that had cradled you for those moments following your orgasm begins to recede that you spring up, elbows pressing into the mattress to support you, heart shooting up into your throat when you catch sight of Eddie.
And it’s worse than you thought.
His cheeks, mouth, jaw and neck are soaked, as is the collar of his shirt now clinging wetly to the dip between his clavicles. Oh shit it’s in his hair too, noticing a few dampened ends which stick to the fabric near his shoulders.
In the thick fog of your afterglow your mind turns sluggish – too slow to piece together what exactly had happened as your eyes lowered in search of what caused Eddie’s current state. Realization sets in after a few seconds of delay in the form of a swooping, twisting flurry in your belly, worsening when you find the same wetness coating your inner thighs and pooling on his sheets, your ass resting in a little puddle of well, yourself.
You've squirted all over his face and his bed.
"I've never done that before”, you breathe out, both stunned and mortified at what you’ve done. Though your worry lessens somewhat when you dare to look at Eddie again, the look on his drenched face telling you that he’s anything but upset about it.
“I’ve never made anyone do that before”, he utters back, sharing your surprise.
Your hand which somehow had managed to stay clasped in his throughout the whole thing is finally returned to you when you both loosen your hold on each other, awkwardly pulling away enough for you to scoot off the damp spot on his bed and for Eddie to ease up onto his knees, which he realizes a little too late was probably a mistake.
Your eyes dart to it when you hear his sharp inhale, widening at the sight.
There's a new elephant in the room to address now – the massive erection straining against his sweatpants.
Silence shrouds the room, both of you speechless, panting and sweaty. He makes no move to cover himself and you don’t think to set your gaze anywhere else.
You’re not sure why you did what you did next, only that you felt compelled to do so.
Easing up on to your knees, you come face to face with Eddie, skirt falling back down to conceal you. Your fingers move seemingly on their own accord, curling into the waistband of his sweats, fingertips grazing the hot skin that lies underneath and for some reason he lets you, watching you closely albeit a little disbelieving. This wasn’t part of your ‘agreement’. He’d offered to get you off and you had accepted but that was the extent of it, neither of you giving much thought as to what would happen after but here you are, chasing after more.
Inches away from his lips, you can smell yourself on his skin. That tangy, earthy essence he'd lapped at and drunk down so eagerly for the past hour. What made him like it so much? What made him want to do this all in the first place? You wanted to ask him but more than that, fingers tightening on the cotton waistband, daring to dip inside and skim the course trail of hair above his pelvis, you wanted to find out what he tasted like too.
You draw a little closer and so does he, nose brushing his, chin tipping up, eyes slipping shut…
But your lips don’t meet.
Whatever was about to happen is cut short then, the both of you whipping your heads in the direction Eddie’s bedroom door, on the other side of which comes the sound of the front door unlatching and a set of boots stepping through the entryway.
Wayne’s home.
“Fuck”, you exclaim in unison.
Sharing a panicked look with Eddie the two of you begin to scramble quietly off the bed, not wanting to risk alerting Wayne to your presence in their trailer.
You liked Wayne. Despite his gruff exterior he’d always been fair to you and your family but the last thing you wanted was to get caught out in his nephew's room. Like this.
"Shit – I can't believe I'm saying this now but...you have to go", Eddie winced as he whispered to you, looking increasingly more regretful with every word he’s forced to let out in reference to your departure.
"No– It's okay. I get it, I really should leave", you hush back in agreement, looking all kinds of frazzled and just as sympathetic given you bare as much of the responsibility for how things escalated the way they did.
You get your shoes back on as quickly and quietly as you can manage, panic rising when Wayne calls out something from the kitchen about dinner.
“Be right there!”, Eddie yells back, swooping down to pick your panties up off the floor, sheepishly handing them to you and you ball the underwear in your fist, suddenly too embarrassed to let him look at them despite everything that’s transpired.
And with that brief brush of his fingers against yours, a moment hangs over the two of you as you stare at one another, a moment that begs for something more to be said about the situation.
But what could you say?
"Thanks for the head?"
"Sorry about the mess. I hope it doesn't leave a stain?"
Nothing feels right no matter what you try to scrounge up and scrape together from the recesses of your mind so reluctantly, you don’t say anything at all, turning towards the window and letting him help you out through it, a faint sense of something sour washing over you when his fingers slip away from yours.
The walk back to your trailer is a short one but it’s made all the more difficult on unsteady, wobbling legs. Casting your gaze at every neighboring window in search of anyone happening to look outside, you try your best to look as inconspicuous as possible despite your ungainly stride and your disheveled state, scrambling up and through your front door.
Back in your room, slumping against your bedroom door, your thighs are wet and sticky, breath coming out in short, hurried puffs, heart thudding a mile a minute and you have just one thought ballooning in your mind.
How the hell were you ever going to look Eddie in the eye after this?
-
Tag list: @sadlittlesquish @honey-flustered @cryingglightningg @cadence73
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ollie-lolly · 1 year
Text
How they react when you blindfold them
Obey me brothers x gender neutral reader
Note: HIT 100+ FOLLOWERS RECENTLY??? I AM VERY GRATEFUL THANK YOU <3. Constructive criticism and reblogs are always appreciated!
Word count: 697
Warnings: suggestive, i accidently added knife play at Belphegor's part oops
The two of you are just working in silence. A nice and calm working environment. Well it is too calm for you! You undo your silk scarf and sneak up to him, tying the silk material around his head. You are surprised when he doesn't stand up.
Lucifer
-His luxurious pen drops on the table 
-"Mc if you know what is good for you, you will remove it right now. I have work to do"
-You decided to ignore his protest and spin the chair around and climb on his lap
-He is desperately trying to keep his composure and patience
-Much to your frustration, he removes the silk scarf
-Before you could take the scarf he takes a hold of your wrist
-"Now let's take care of those bratty actions of yours"
Mammon
-Low-key wants to film it for 'personal reasons'
-You walk around him and lightly lift the hem of his shirt. 
-You start tracing his abdomen with the tips of your fingers
-"Mc what has gotten into ya?"
-You falter "Do you want me to stop?"
-"NO, i mean uh shit" he really did not want to seem that eager
-Your other hand gently pulls at his hair
-"That is all the permission i needed pretty boy"
-He whimpers. A reply to your gentle praise
-He bucks his hips. Desperate for some friction
Leviathan
-He may or may not have a boner rn
-THIS MAN IS CAUGHT OF GUARD
-Already predicting his movements, you hold the gaming chair down to prevent him from falling
-"A- are sure that you want to do this with me?"
-You give your answer by softly kissing his lips, then you start leaving a trail hickeys and bites on his exposed shoulders and neck
-"I can really tell that you are enjoying this Levi"
-Your hands travel to his rising erection, causing him to whimper
-"That's my pervy little Levi"
Satan
-He has 100% read this in a book before
-I swear he reads porn
-You lower yourself to your knees and softly kiss his bare stomach
-He groans as your kisses go lower, you put your hands on his and shift them to the top of your head
-He tries to remain patient
-He finds it embarrassing, but god does it feel good
-He pulls at your hair in frustration
Asmodeus
-"Mc you never cease to amaze me dear!"
-It's safe to say he is more then just pleased
-He whines completely unashamed when you bite the soft skin of his neck
-He quickly starts to get handsy 
-You were expecting this predicament, you grab a small clean handkerchief. 
-You firmly tie his wrists together
-"Let's see how long you'll last Asmo"
Beelzebub
-He has no idea of what to do in this situation
-You notice his stiffness in posture
-When you try to back off, he gently puts his hands on your back
-"Please don't leave, i like it" he uttered
-You make yourself comfortable and put one hand on the back of his neck 
-The other pulls out a small bottle of syrup 
-You put some in your mouth the sweet taste melts on your tongue
-While a large part of the sweet liquid is in your mouth you kiss him 
-His tongue quickly takes over
-He softly wimpers as he feels a heat rise down south
Belphegor
-Wants to do this again for sure
-I can't decide if it's because he doesn't have to do much or if it's the other way around, that he likes to see you helpless. respectfully?
-You pull out a small pocket knife and you gently trace the sharp tip on his collarbones and shoulders
-His breathing starts to become heavy as he starts to realize what the object might be
-He has dreamt about this, with help from his dream manipulation, but had no idea how to bring it up due to 'the incident'
-When a small pool of blood began to drip, you leaned in and licked it off 
-He shivers but also groans when he feels the sensation
Bonus!
Barbatos Barbie
-Wil be surprised at first 
-"We are lucky that we are alone for once, my love"
-His hands gently reach for yours and he gently presses a kiss to your hand
-You take a seat on his leg and start kissing his neck 
-He puts his hand around your frame
-"I would love to do something like this again"
-"That is if you don't mind being tied up for me"
Date began: 27th of march 2023
Date finished: 28th of march 2023
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les4elliewilliams · 2 months
Text
Ellie is away... // e.w
chapter 3 - 2004, Sophomore year college
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a/n: part 3 (ik finally) took me forever for no reason at all, i didn't even think anyone was gonna see part one but anyways!!! (reblogs and comments are always appreciated:))) wc/cw: 1.4k. jesse being bullied;( , swearing, loser!ellie i guess?, no smut or anything but MDNI. summary: set in the early 2000s. everyone was obsessed with AIM messaging and when you left your hometown for college, leaving your friends behind, it was what you guys used to stay in touch. Ellie's one of your best friends, and when you left for college, she started dating Cat, the girl she had always claimed to dislike. It wasn't just the fact that she hadn't told you about it; you didn't like Cat. It wasn't a secret, and neither did Dina or Jesse. Deep down, you knew that she was just afraid of your reaction. Their relationship was far from perfect, and when you told her that she should've just broken up with her, it didn't go too well. However, her grudge obviously didn't last long, you were her best friend, after all, and she couldn't go without talking to you for too long, so she ended up apologizing for being a dick.
➥ part one, two, four
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brickmaster signed in.
brickmaster: ohhh hey yn
ynshere: Ellssss hiiii
brickmaster: what's upp brickmaster: how's everything for you
ynshere: nothing much i was playing the sims lol ynshere: everything's fine. what about you?
brickmaster: it’s alright, just chilling in my dorm at the moment brickmaster: got any plans for the weekend?
ynshere: just hanging out with my friend Emma
brickmaster: sounds fun brickmaster: who’s Emma? ynshere: just a friend brickmaster: i don’t think you ever mentioned her before brickmaster: how did you two meet?
ynshere: just at some party, she spilled her drink all over my clothes lol
brickmaster: oh no your poor skirt and crop top
ynshere: oh stfu ynshere: what's with the way i dress now? ynshere: not pretty enough for you, Williams?
brickmaster: never said that ;) brickmaster: so? what is she like? brickmaster: is she cooler than me?
ynshere: aw c'mon you already know the answer to that
brickmaster: oh i know i know brickmaster: no one's as cool as me
ynshere: no, actually she is cooler than you
brickmaster: pffffttt as if brickmaster: i'm still hotter though
ynshere: is that what your gf tells you to make you feel less shitty about your looks?
brickmaster: ouch that hurt brickmaster: no more Cat by the way
ynshere: oh? ynshere: i'm sorry, i didn't know
brickmaster: well no dip, i just told you
ynshere: shut up, you know what i meant smartass ynshere: what happened? (If you don't mind me asking)
brickmaster: she was too much brickmaster: she was too controlling brickmaster: always telling me what to do, who to hang out with or who not to talk to
ynshere: mhm
brickmaster: don't. say. it.
ynshere: i told youu ynshere: yn’s always right ynshere: say it.
brickmaster: i'm so not gonna say it
ynshere: you make me wanna strangle you sometimes ynshere: but good, you deserved better anyways ynshere: i mean, i'm sorry but she was horrible to you
brickmaster: i know brickmaster: took me ages to realize it
ynshere: better later than never
brickmaster: you always say that brickmaster: you never change do you
ynshere: nop ynshere: i evolve if anything
brickmaster: i missed you
ynshere: me too El, so much.
brickmaster: i wish we could hang out like good ol' times
ynshere: ew now you are starting to sound like Joel
brickmaster: oh fuck off brickmaster: i'm being sweet for once and you're ewing me like that?...never again
ynshere: lol i'm just kidding dumbass ynshere: i wish we could hang out like we used to back in high school ynshere: i miss seeing your stupid face everyday
brickmaster: stupid? I think you meant pretty* brickmaster: or gorgeous* brickmaster: yeah that's more appropriate
ynshere: ..i'm going to log out
brickmaster: noooo stay please :( brickmaster: what would i do without you
ynshere: you're such a failure ynshere: Joel should've worn a condom that night
brickmaster: jokes on you... he did but there was a hole in it
ynshere:……
brickmaster: my mum told me that...i don't know what to believe
ynshere: Ellie.
brickmaster: what
ynshere: you're a lost cause.
brickmaster: gonna make me blush
ynshere: i don't think i've ever seen you blush before like actually
brickmaster: cause i don't blush brickmaster: i make ladies blush, never the other way around
ynshere: damn such an alpha ynshere: your parents must be so proud of you
brickmaster: nah they hate me
ynshere: yeah, i wonder why…
brickmaster: you know brickmaster: ever since Cat and i broke up things have been weird
ynshere: how so?
brickmaster: well we have the same group of friends so it's just awkward, you know? brickmaster: i feel really alone sometimes and i miss you really bad brickmaster: i miss having you around, being in the same classes and all that
ynshere: i know we can't see each other but i'm here for you ynshere: always. ynshere: you can call me or message me anytime i really don't mind, i love talking to you
brickmaster: thank you yn, it really means a lot to me brickmaster: it's just… i feel abandoned brickmaster: she made me look like the bad guy for breaking up with her, it feels like they don't want me around
ynshere: have you tried telling them about the whole thing?
brickmaster: yeah brickmaster: but they're all up Cat’s ass and it's annoying brickmaster: i feel betrayed in some sort of way
ynshere: i'm sorry Ellie ynshere: they sound like shitty friends ynshere: maybe it's time to get new friends?
brickmaster: i know they suck but they were the only friends i had
ynshere: i'm sure you'll make new friends ynshere: you'll meet better people ynshere: hang out, go to parties don't stay in your dorm all day
brickmaster: you're right brickmaster: but like what did i do wrong? brickmaster: it's clear that they’d rather be friends with Cat brickmaster: fuck i feel like crying right now
ynshere: baby :( ynshere: hey listen to me, you did nothing wrong. you are amazing
brickmaster: i'm sorry for dropping all this on you brickmaster: i understand it can be too much
ynshere: don't you dare apologize for feeling upset, Williams. ynshere: it's okay, really ynshere: i'm here for you. It's not too much, you're never too much.
brickmaster: you're the only one i can talk to freely without feeling judged brickmaster: well you and Dina of course, but i don't wanna annoy her with my shit
ynshere: oh Ellie ynshere: i know for a fact that Dina cares about you as much as i do ynshere: you're never a burden to us, understand? ynshere: glad you vented to me
brickmaster: thank you so much yn brickmaster: you have no idea how much this means to me brickmaster: can i tell you something
ynshere: of course
brickmaster: you know that party at Jesse’s? brickmaster: the one from two years ago
ynshere: yeah what about it?
brickmaster: i always wondered if things went differently brickmaster: like if me and Cat never happened brickmaster: i remember i had the whole night planned, i wanted to spend time with you alone
ynshere: you never told me that
brickmaster: well you left earlier than expected that night sooo
ynshere: you're making me regret getting drunk that night ynshere: i was so sick, i remember drinking too much
brickmaster: yeah lol you were fucking wasted brickmaster: i have an idea
ynshere: shoot ynshere: and it better not include putting a dinosaur toy in your microwave
brickmaster: lmao no i'm over that phase brickmaster: what if i came visit this weekend? brickmaster: i really miss you and i need a break from this fucking school anyways brickmaster: besides, we promised we would visit each other right?
ynshere: oh my god please do ynshere: i would LOVE to see your ugly ass face again
brickmaster: you miss this ugly face though ;)
ynshere: maybe
brickmaster: fuck i can't wait brickmaster: ooh shit what about your friend Emma?
ynshere: it's whatever i’ll tell her you're visiting, she’ll understand
brickmaster: you sure? brickmaster: you don't have to ditch her for me
ynshere: Ellie. be for fucking real. ynshere: i would ditch anyone for you
brickmaster: alright alright just making sure brickmaster: so what do you wanna do this weekend?
ynshere: don't know, just hang out in my dorm?
brickmaster: sounds good to me brickmaster: anything sounds better than rotting in my dorm all day brickmaster: wanna get drunk too? I could bring some alcohol if you want
ynshere: sure why not? ynshere: if we gotta catch up
brickmaster: we must do it the right way brickmaster: i like the way you think
ynshere: lol see you this weekend?
brickmaster: see you this weekend :)
ynshere: bye bye :))
brickmaster is away.
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jessescool has signed in jessescool: yoo yn jessescool: how is it goin? ynshere: JESSE OH MY FUCKING GOD ynshere: MY MANNNNNNN jessescool: lol you feeling alright?
ynshere: Ellie's coming over this weekend :) jessescool: yn using a smiley face. odd
ynshere: shut up. ynshere: SHE'S COMING TO VISIT ynshere: IM SCREAMING
jessescool: about damn time you two got together
ynshere: we're not together ynshere: she's just coming to visit ynshere: we haven't seen each other in like forever
jessescool: will be soon jessescool: is she still dating Cat?
ynshere: she just told me she broke up ynshere: Cat was horrible to her
jessescool: i remember talking to Cat a few times back in high school jessescool: she was odd ynshere: you know what else is odd?
jessescool: what ynshere: your mom dropping you on your head as a baby
jessescool is typing... ynshere is away. jessescool: i'm tired of y'all
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¡! daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. ¡!
taglist: @readbydayana @onlinelesbo @tearouthearts @macaroni676 @diddiqueen @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @amberputh @itsbecomeblue @benthoee
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auteurdelabre · 15 days
Text
SO MUCH TO LOSE - CHAPTER 9 - dark!Joel x f!Reader
Rating: 18+
Words: 7.4k
Chapter Tags:  sexual tension, mentions of suggested abuse, girl-bonding, Joel being Joel, reader being oblivious.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE
A/N: Y’ALL really came through with the comments! It made me stay up far too late typin’ away. But I’m glad to deliver this to my sweet audience and I hope you continue to bless me with your thoughts, reblogs and funny tags. Also lemme know if you have money and wanna give me some because your girl is BROKE y'all. BROKE.
Wednesday - my bb, my light, my sweet please never stop commenting on A03 because I read those like others read stories. I laugh, I cry, I emote. Never stop.
Also, two people should NEVER ride a horse when one’s in a saddle. It’s horrible for the horse! But this is fiction so y’all gotta forgive me for it, all right?
Lastly - Chapter 10 is.... gonna be memorable. That's all I'm sayin'.
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SO MUCH TO LOSE: CHAPTER 9
You toss in bed a short while later, your mind going a mile a minute. You can't get the memory of Joel's furious face out of your mind. You can’t get Ellie’s sad eyes and her tensed shoulders to leave you. You can’t stop imagining what happened the second you left their home.
Part of you wanted to run right back to that house on Rancher Street and to beg Joel’s forgiveness for intruding. It was never your information to gather, not your place to pry. It was information never given willingly and for that you understand his fury. You understand it better than most.
But the other part of you, perhaps the part that had brought you to tears as you left had been the sight of Ellie's horror at your question. Of would Joel hurt her? Because in Ellie’s eyes you saw her own lingering question reflected. 
Who hurt you? 
It's too complicated to get into, too personal and that's why you think you feel this overwhelming sense of guilt. Because if you'd come home to the space you shared with someone else and heard them divulging your biggest secrets, your deepest wounds, you can't say you would have acted any different.
In fact, you might have been worse.
You turn your head, noting that it's only now starting to grow dark. You hadn't even bothered with dinner. Just pulled on your sleeping clothes and robe and thrown yourself into bed. You wanted to forget the hours before, wanted sleep to claim you and help you erase the day.
But you can’t. You just lay there twisted in your sheets, feeling like a stranger in your own body. You consider trying a warm shower when you hear a sudden thudding on your front door. This isn't Ellie or Jennifer. This is someone else and you have a pretty good idea who. 
You think that you should just stay in bed, try to ignore the insistent pounding. But you need to pay for your mistake. This is your penance. You move down the stairs and to the front door opening it slowly. 
Joel is standing on your porch, his broad frame looming over your door. His hands are on either side of the frame, braced as if he has to physically hold himself back.
When you pull the door open he juts his chin forward aggressively. He hasn't even bothered putting a jacket on, despite the weather. He's wearing just his green flannel and a scowl that makes you take a physical step back. 
"Joel-"
"You think I'd hurt Ellie?" Joel says, teeth clenched. "Hurt my own fuckin' kid?"
You glance quickly over his shoulder noting that the street is deserted. Your street is one of the newer ones, less populated. It makes you nervous to see him looking so furious with no witnesses. But you answer him anyway.   
"I don't know you at all," you tell him with a wince. "For all I knew you could have and I felt responsible."
His jaw is clenched tightly, ticking as he glares at you. You can see the fury building there in his frame and it makes you tremble. But you swallow, raising your spine and fixing him with what you hope is confidence.
"You yanked me around on patrols before," you remind him, swallowing your fear the best you can. "You're known for being ruthless with raiders. Most everyone is terrified of you. Is it really that much of a stretch?"
For the first time this evening you think that what you're saying registers with Joel because he blinks and some of that inky black in his gaze grows a soft brown.
"I've never hit you. Never come close." His voice is soft, almost admonished. 
"No," you concede, "but you haven't exactly been gentle either." 
Joel takes in the way you're cowering, the way you flinch when he shifts. He sobers, lowering his hands from your doorframe, pushing himself back from you. 
"I'd never hurt a kid," he murmurs. “I’d never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
He takes a moment to look at you, really look at you. You wonder if he sees the blotchy pink of your tear-stained face or the dark circles under your eyes from barely sleeping this week.  
Joel's eyes narrow and without stepping closer to you it feels like he gets nearer when he speaks low and even. 
"Your dad hurt you or somethin'?"
You're momentarily thrown by this question from Joel. He's never really asked you anything this personal before. You toy with the idea of closing the door on his face because he doesn’t deserve to know you this way. But you think of how vulnerable he must feel with you having all this information about his past, about his Sarah, and you answer.
"No," you tell him honestly. “My dad was amazing.”
"Your mom then?"
"No."
You cross your arms over your chest, indicating that the conversation is now at an end. You've shared as much as you are willing to at this point in time. 
Joel looks equally stoic despite the nature of his questioning. His eyes drift over your body for the first time since he arrived at your doorstep, fixing on your sleep clothes and open robe before shooting back to your gaze. You pull your robe around your body, shivering at the cold draft coming in from the outside. Joel clears his throat. 
"Ellie never should have told you all that about me," he says. "Wasn't her information to share." 
"It was my fault. I never should have pressed her for details," you admit, talking to his shoulder. "It wasn't my place." 
Joel exhales through his nose by way of reply. The two of you stand in quiet thought before you feel compelled to ask.
"Did Ellie get in a lot of trouble?"
When he doesn't answer you finally move your eyes from his shoulder to his face, surprised to see he's staring at you. He's not going to answer you, you realize. You barely know him and it's between him and his daughter. 
You worry that you've messed everything up with Ellie. You feel like it's your fault that the fight happened at all. You think of how pleasant the afternoon had been with flower making and hair brushing. You hate to think of that going away. You swallow, gathering your nerves.  
"Am I still allowed to teach her to bake?"
After a moment Joel sucks his teeth and nods shallowly.
You shift where you stand, one hand still on the doorknob. It's warm under your palm. If Joel was anyone else you'd invite him in for a hot drink given the weather. But as it's him you simply stand awkwardly across from him. 
Joel peers into your face, gaze darting from each of your eyes to the next and back again. There's something about his stare that feels warm and heavy, something endless. 
"Get some sleep."
He says it softly, a husky command with none of its usual bite. Then he's gone, giving you one last look before he's taking off down the stairs of your porch. You watch his tall frame head down your street, scissoring through the night air until he's nothing but mist. 
And strangely the second you close the door you feel your feet taking you to your bed. You hear his voice quietly rumbling in your mind as you crawl under the covers.
Get some sleep. 
Permission. A command. A hushed order that gives you the freedom to just sink into the warmth of your bed, to close your eyes and feel your breath even out. 
And in seconds you're fast asleep. 
///
Jennifer greets you when you open your door to leave for patrols the next day, crowding your doorframe.
"I thought we could walk to patrols together."
"Okay." You pull your jacket around you, bracing yourself. 
You've known popular girls like Jennifer. The kind that roll their eyes and call you sensitive if you don't like how they treat you. You assume that this is what awaits you now.
"I'm so sorry for how I acted at the Bison."
You can’t say you were expecting that.
"I was trying to impress Joel," she continues. “Make it seem like we were all in on the joke together.”
When you see her standing there with her gloved hands clasped, looking apologetic you feel your animosity dropping from you like an unnecessary jacket.
"And I just... I never should have put you on the spot,” she continues. “I was just trying to go along with things, but that's not how friends act. My mama raised me better than that."
You know that what she's saying is important, but all you can focus on is that she just confirmed you two are friends.  You have a real friend.
"S'okay," you offer quietly. 
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Did you get my cookies?"
"Yep, they were good."
You don't make it a habit to lie to friends but she looks so proud of herself that you can't help it. She beams, clearly proud of herself. She doesn’t need to know that they’re at the bottom of your waste bin. 
"I'm so glad you liked them."
You want to say something kind to Jennifer, something that lets her know that you’ve forgiven her. Maybe its guilt from the fact that the cookies were barely touched. Whatever it is you scan her body, landing on her beautifully tailored jacket.
“I like your jacket,” you tell her, observing the dark green and black of the pattern and hood. “It’s really pretty.”
“Thanks, I made it myself,” she tells you proudly.  “Barely any time at all.”
“Tell me you didn’t just make it just for this patrol,” you say fixing her with a look. Jennifer goes pink and starts giggling. “Jennifer!”
"Oh hush,” she says elbowing your side gently.
You can’t help but laugh at your friend as the two of you head off to patrols, chatting pleasantly as you make your way down the path to town. Jennifer is animated as always, her voice lilting and cheerful.
“Luke was really disappointed when you took off," she mentions with a sly smile and side eye. "I just know he's excited about today."
You flush, eyes on the ground, not saying anything. The truth is you're very excited to see Luke today. You want to learn more about him, see his likes and dislikes. 
"Joel left soon after you did," Jennifer tells you with a frown after a few moments. "But I mean he came and had a drink with us so that has to count for something."
"Totally." 
You've reached the fence and see three of the horses lined up, tied and waiting. Luke is patting Glimmer but he waves to you both as you approach. Your stomach flips pleasantly at the sight of his light hair falling into his eyes.
Chestnut whinnies gently as you approach, his long neck arching towards you. You smile as he ambles over to greet you the best he can.
"Hi boy," you whisper, gently patting down his long muzzle. "You having a good day? Huh?"
"Hiya Glimmer," Jennifer coos. You think that this must be her usual ride on her patrols. 
"Morning Luke," you offer, trying to appear nonchalant. 
"Mornin'."  Luke’s smile is shy but earnest. "We missed ya this week."
"Yeah?"
He nods and you feel your face grow hot because you are sure Jennifer is staring at you both with a smirk. "Yeah, missed shootin’ with ya."
You busy yourself with running your hand over chestnuts flank, all the while trying not to read into things. Maybe Luke just likes having a fellow peer there?  
Or maybe he likes me.
You have to admit to yourself that you have a crush even if crushes feel so adolescent in your mind after everything that happened to the world. But there’s something that makes you want to laugh at the way some things never change. Humans will continue to lust, even after the earth is swallowed by disease.
"Looks like a simple enough job," Jennifer observes looking at the few pieces of lumber strapped to the horses. Enough that it's good for building but not too heavy for them to carry. You go to reply when you hear a booming voice sounding out behind you. 
"S'a fucking joke. Gettin' them all the way over here just to be one short."
Joel is arguing with Hank, one of the crew. Hank is an older with an under bite and bushy eyebrows. He fixes Joel with a formidable stare. He’s one of the few in Jackson City not intimidated by the elder Miller.  
"I don't know what to tell ya Joel," Hank shrugs. "It's all we got."
"What's going on?" Jennifer asks, swanning over to the men. She stands close to Joel, her shoulder brushing against his. You notice as his dark eyes sweep over her face as he notices her.
"Only three horses available today," Hank explains to her. "Others were taken out."
"Why?"
"Heard about an intercepted shipment of medicine nearby. Sent a bunch of folks after it. Anyway, one of you'll have to double up."
Joel makes a huffing noise before shouldering past Hank and hauling himself up onto Midnight. He's made it very clear he won't be riding with anyone. That leaves you, Jennifer and Luke. In habit you go to grab Chestnut’s bridle. Jennifer is determined not to go down without a fight. 
"I'm small," Jennifer says in a breathy voice you don't really recognize as hers. "I'll double."
She looks directly at Joel who is going to great lengths to look anywhere else. If it weren’t so awkward you might have laughed, but instead you try to hide your smile behind your glove.
Oblivious to the dynamic, Luke pats the side of his horse. 
"You can ride on the back of mine if you want Jenny," Luke offers with a friendly tip of his head.
Your smile immediately dies. Why didn’t you volunteer? Jennifer pauses, waiting for Joel to inject.
Get the fucking hint, Joel. 
He doesn’t.  He just shifts the two guns he’s carrying on his back, clearing his throat.
You see how crestfallen Jennifer looks, but it’s for only a moment before she shines a bright smile Luke's way as she hauls herself up behind him, lacing her hands around his middle.
"Thanks, Luke." 
With that settled you yourself mount Chestnut, stroking his mane gently. Hank comes over to hand you a backpack. It’s heavy and you make a soft huffing noise when you hoist it onto your shoulders.
“Nails and hammers,” Hank explains. “You got it?”
“Yep,” you nod, trying to look in command of yourself with Luke’s eyes on you. “No problem.”
You feel the coarse hair of Chestnut under your gloved fingertips and squeeze your thighs to prompt him forward.  You follow after Joel in habit with Glimmer carrying Luke and Jennifer close behind. The ride to Teton is quiet, but not in a tense way, more distracted.
The backpack as it stands is a problem though because you’re wincing with every jostling step Chestnut takes. The bag is impossibly heavy and it digs into your shoulders like a too-tight bra.
You hear Luke and Jennifer quietly talking with one another on Glimmer. There are quiet giggles and you hear Luke chuckle softly. You feel irritated at Joel not taking Jennifer on his horse with him. Of course he wouldn't - Joel gets his way every time. So you've lost your chance to bond with Luke. 
You could be on the back of Glimmer with him. Your arms could be around Luke's waist right now, your thighs bracketing his. You could be feeling the warmth of his body seeping into your front. 
But you're not. 
You're stuck in the middle listening to Luke's gentle chuckle behind you and watching Joel's broad frame in front of you. As you stare at Joel with the guns on his back your mind drifts to last night. 
Have you and Joel moved past your mutual disdain for one another? You’re not quite sure.  Right now you’re irritated with him, but there’s less bite to it today. You think maybe you’re both at a polite acceptance of one another. Joel looks back every now and again, his eyes sailing to you and the group behind you. You roll your shoulders, gritting your teeth when the bag digs into the flesh there.
“’Bout halfway there,” he tells the group even though you’re well aware.
Joel is a natural leader checking in on his troops. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was in the forces before all of this. You know that he worked in construction and that he must have been around horses considering he’s such a capable rider. But that’s it.
Perhaps he and Sarah rode horses together. This thought comes to you despite knowing nothing about the girl. Nevertheless you wonder what she looked like. Was she dour and broad like Joel? You imagine her as bubbly and quick with his dark hair.
You watch as Joel slows Midnight and Chestnut quickly overtakes him, their hooves trotting along the earth until the two of you ride side by side. You’re confused and you feel Joel’s eyes on your profile and after a moment you turn to see him staring at the bag and then back to your face.
“Gimme the bag,” he orders gently.
“I’m fine,” you lie. You wonder if he can see the strain in your neck as you say this. He rolls his eyes, huffing out his nostrils.
“You need to be carrying a weapon,” Joel informs you. “Won’t do much damage to a Raider with a heavy backpack.”
He’s right. He’s not doing it to be nice; he’s doing it to be efficient. How Joel of him.
You want to fight him on it but the thought of having the heavy thing off your shoulders is too appealing. You relent as the horses come to stop beside one another. You tug off your bag, handing it to Joel who straps one of the guns to the side of it and slings it over his muscled shoulders. The bag doesn’t even look oversized on him and he carries it with no strain whatsoever.
He hands you off the large shotgun and you throw it over your shoulder, thankful for the padding in the leather sling. Without another word Joel makes a clicking noise with his tongue against his teeth and he and Midnight quickly head up the group once more. 
When you get to Teton Village and the four of you do the usual perimeter check you’re feeling bolder and a little bit restless. You feel like you want to impress Luke but can’t think of any meaningful way to do so. He’ll be upstairs hammering and nailing while you stand watch at the window like a senior citizen waiting for the postman. It’s almost embarrassing that you were brought along at all.
When you approach the outpost though you have an idea on how to appear more capable. You urge Chestnut on ahead of Joel and tie the sweet creature quickly to the tree before jogging up the large old library steps.
“I’ve got the lock,” you call over your shoulder casually. Joel is already off his horse and striding towards you with several pieces of lumber slung over his shoulder; Luke is helping Jennifer off of Glimmer. You turn back, fiddling with the code confidently.
It doesn’t work.
“Fuck.”
You try it again, the same one you were taught and then you tug. It’s still not working.
“C’mon,” you whisper angrily to yourself, “c’mon you piece of shit.”
Again the silver tabs are moved to the correct code and again you jerk it only to find it sticking fast. Is it the encroaching cool weather? Your confidence is hanging by a thread when a large ungloved hand comes out of nowhere, coming to gently bat your fingers away.
“Code changed last week,” Joel says lowly behind you.
You feel the warmth of his taller body behind you, his words stirring the hair at the back of your head. You say nothing as you watch his fingers fiddle with the new numbers, sliding them into place. You want to memorize them for next time. His arm rests beside your shoulder as he works his thick thumbs slide the silver tabs. Finally it unlocks and Joel removes the lock, placing it in his pocket.
“Sorry you couldn’t impress your little boyfriend.”
You feel your cheeks burn with humiliation despite the fact that only he and you could hear the murmured remark. He moves past you, Luke and Jennifer carry the remaining lumber. The four of you make your way into the house and wordlessly Joel heads upstairs to begin.
“That was so sweet of Joel to take the bag,” Jennifer whispers to you with hearts in her eyes. “Chivalrous.”
You don’t reply. Why shatter her illusion of who she thinks Joel is? Maybe with her affection and softness he could become that. Maybe with the right woman Joel Miller is chivalrous and romantic.
Maybe it’s just with you that he’s an antagonistic asshole.
The three of them pad up the stairs with the supplies as you stand by the door. You know you're not much use upstairs so you busy yourself writing in the log notes about the repairs. You hear the banging and the conversations upstairs as you move from the small room towards the window of the fireplace room; your eyes surveying the grey of old snow.
You yawn after a short while, bored. There’s nothing out there. There never is in town. That’s why you like Teton village so much. It’s quiet and sleepy and there’s no real danger. Perhaps it’s the large buildings or the lack of footprints. Whatever it is, you find yourself relaxing.
Joel and Jennifer jog down the stairs with Joel not passing you a glance. Jennifer gives you a thumbs up and mouths “getting more wood”. You hear the sound of Luke hammering upstairs and take a moment to consider your next moves.
This may be your only chance.
You scurry up the steps towards the far room, following the sound of Luke’s hammering. You stop when you see him, mid hammer. His back muscles ripple under his t-shirt, a line of sweat down the middle. It’s warm in this room, and judging by the repairs done they have been working quickly and efficiently.
“Hey,” you offer as you approach him, heartened when he turns and flashes you a friendly smile, wiping the sweat from his brow with the bottom of his t-shirt. You turn away at the sliver of taut abdomen that shows itself when he does. Your whole body is going tingly.
“Hey, you come to help us?”
“Oh I would just slow you down,” you say with a shy laugh, your eyes landing anywhere but his handsome face. “Every time I try to hammer the nail goes crooked.”
“You just haven’t been taught correctly then,” Luke ventures, “come here and I’ll give you a lesson.”
You try to keep yourself from jogging over, attempting to appear casual. He holds his hammer out to you as you approach.
"Here.”
You take it from him, facing the sill of the window that he’s been working on. You nearly jolt when you feel his hands land on your shoulders. He notices your flinch, his hands flying off of you at the first contact.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry just distracted,” you insist, feeling your cheeks heat. “Keep going. I’m fine.”
Luke’s hands go to your wrists now, placing the nail in your left fingers and positioning it on the sill.
“You just need to start with it straight. Lotta people angle it without thinking and…”
You know that Luke’s talking more but you’re having trouble focusing because you feel him pressing up behind you, his hand sliding over yours and helping you to hold the nail in place.
“A lot of people make the mistake of hitting the nail shallowly a bunch of times instead of once or twice with harsh blows,” he explains. You feel a warmth go through your body as Luke's curls over yours. He’s so tall, so gentle, so earnest.  You feel his voice rumbling through his chest into your back.
He places the hammer in your right hand before he covers your hand with his effectively holding each of your hands like you're a puppet. He positions the nail in the wood once more, bringing your hand and the hammer back. You’re completely boneless, letting yourself melt into his arms.
"So if you hold it-"
Whatever thought Luke had dies at the sound of Joel's rasping voice behind you. 
"What're you doin'?"
You and Luke glance over your shoulders to see Joel scowling. He's got a stack of the remaining lumber over his shoulder. Jennifer is beside him, looking between Luke and Joel in confusion, a box of nails in her grip. 
Luke still has his arms around yours, guiding you. Both sets of arms are raised midway. It looks like you’re in some strange dance routine involving hammers and nails. Joel drops the lumber to the floor with a thud, his gaze icily on Luke.
"I was just teaching her how to put up the frame," Luke explains with a soft tone. You recognize that he's a gentle man, not one for confrontation. Joel intimidates him; he likely has since he met him. For whatever reason Joel is especially cold to Luke.
"This ain't a teachin' moment," Joel all but growls, his larger frame barreling towards the two of you. "We're here to do a job and get it done fast so we don’t draw attention."
You feel Luke shrinking back, arms lowering, but his frame still rests behind you as if he's worried about leaving you entirely. 
"I wanted to learn how to do the repairs," you explain trying to be diplomatic. 
"S'not why you were brought," Joel bites back.
He shocks you when he reaches out to take your wrist, tugging you away from Luke. You stagger towards Joel, eyes wide almost barreling into his chest. He holds you tightly, looking down into your face.
"You're here to keep watch while we do this. That’s your job."
His voice is harsh but his eyes are gentle. It's a confusing dichotomy that has you careening from one emotion to the next. You settle on anger when you feel Jennifer and Luke watching you. Your cheeks burn with humiliation at being talked to like this in front of them and you shoot a glare at Joel before you wrench your wrist his grip.
“Let’s break for lunch,” Jennifer suggests, noting the tension.
“Good idea,” Luke says with a smile.
Everyone waits for Joel’s eventual nod before the four of you head downstairs to the log room.
There are thankfully enough chairs because you can’t imagine the awkwardness of standing around eating after everything that happened. Right now you want to sink into your chair and disappear for a few hours.
What the fuck is Joel’s problem?
Jennifer thankfully starts chatting to fill the silence and pulls out the meals from her bag. Two sandwiches each, a thermos of coffee and what appears to be fresh brownies along with the usual water and apples.
Joel goes off for a moment, muttering about feeding the horses. The three of you take a seat around the table, focused on the sweet-smelling brownies.
“Those look so good,” Luke says when Jennifer pulls them out. “I love baked goods.”
“You should try her stuff,” Jennifer says motioning to you with a wink. “Everyone in town says how good her baking is.”
You could kiss Jennifer for the way she’s trying to make you look good in front of Luke. You make a mental note to do the same for her and Joel. Jennifer has many good redeeming qualities and Joel just simply doesn’t see them.
“S’not that good,” you say with a shy little giggle as you bite into your sandwich.
“It is so!” Jennifer insists, unwrapping her own.  
“Guess I’ll have to see for myself,” Luke says grinning and taking a sip of his coffee. You don’t say anything but you shift slightly when Joel comes to take the empty seat next to you. He reaches across you to grab one of the sandwiches, peeling back the waxy cloth that holds it.
The room goes quiet again, a side effect of Joel-Miller-iti; because whenever he enters a room it goes deadly quiet. You wonder if he was like this before – was he always so gruff? So grumpy? How could Tommy be so opposite to him?
You wish it was Tommy with the rest of you today. Tommy with his easy laugh and warm countenance. You expect the rest of lunch to go in silence when all of a sudden it’s Joel who breaks it.
"You're good at window repair, Jenny. You must’ve done a lot.”
Jennifer flushes prettily and thanks him in a voice that feels a lot more breathy than necessary.
For some reason this innocuous comment from Joel has your fingers curling into the wood table. Your leg starts to twitch as you rock your leg up and down restlessly on the ball of your foot.
You spent weeks trying to earn Joel’s praise as a patrol partner. You were dutiful and listened and tried your best and he gave you nothing back unless his cock was in your mouth. Jennifer has been working for thirty minutes and he gives her his praise so freely?
If he wasn't sitting beside you, you would be fixing him with your most glowering stare. You wish you weren’t so shy, so quiet. You’d give him a piece of your mind next week on patrols if you had the guts.
“I grew up doing repairs on our house with my brothers,” Jennifer answers and you know she’s beside herself with all this attention from Joel. He’s got his eyes fixed on her and his normally scowling face is brighter, his mouth in a polite smile.
“You had good teachers.”
“I taught them, actually,” she smiles brightly.
“Impressive.”
You continue to bop your leg, the feeling distracting you from your frustration. You hasten a glance at Luke who hasn’t so much as glanced up from his lunch since the meal started. He’s shy like you, quiet and introspective especially when Joel is around. You think that’s why you enjoy his company so much. You feel like you want him to feel included.
“You did construction too, right Luke?”
“Yep,” he nods, swallowing before taking one of the brownies and breaking it apart in his hands. “Cabinetry especially.
“Cool,” you offer awkwardly. You wish you knew more about the topic but your interest and acumen in that field is limited. Your knee continues to bop anxiously as you try to think of ways to get the conversation to continue.
“I was just learning flooring and trim carpentry when the outbreak started,” he continues as you nod along as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Oh, wow.”
Jennifer keeps sneaking looks across the table at Joel and if your hunch is correct he’s probably doing the same to her. Despite your previous annoyance with him the thought warms you, that perhaps there is a mutual attraction for your friend and Joel. You wonder if you should warn her about Joel’s temper but decide that Joel may not show that side of himself to her if he can help it.
After what you’ve learned about Joel and Sarah, there is a softness inside you that maybe thinks Jennifer could be good for Joel. You resolve to do whatever you can to make it work for them. Joel isn’t your friend, but Jennifer is. And if she wants Joel you’ll do all you can to make it happen.
You almost yelp when Joel's hand grips your knee, holding your restless leg in place. He leans towards you, voice dropping a register and sliding into a soft rasp. 
"Stop shakin' your damn leg. You’re knockin’ over the coffees."
You’re doing no such thing, but part of you thinks he misses ordering you around. He must like the sense of control it gives him. He misses being a big shot and you’re the closest thing he has to a professional underling. All your kind sentiments about him go flying out the window. You were naïve to think there could be a possible friendship there. Hell, not even a friendship – just a respectful mutual tolerance.
You feel an embarrassed flush cross your features, pulling back from Joel’s touch. His fingers slowly unlatch from your knee and his palm lingers a moment before being removed entirely. 
“You do a lot of repairs before all this?” Jennifer asks Joel. You surprise yourself by listening, intrigued for more information on pre-outbreak Joel.
“Yep.”
He takes a long swig of his coffee before wiping at his mouth and speaking before Jennifer has the chance to ask more follow up personal questions.
“Alright, let’s finish it up. I’ll see you two up there.”
He doesn’t spare anyone a glance before he’s on his feet, heading up the stairs. Luke joins him moments later, leaving you and Jennifer sitting across from one another.
When she’s certain the men are upstairs she looks beside herself with delight and leans forward conspiratorially.
“Do you think Joel was flirting?” she whispers, her light eyes dancing. “I mean, Luke is way better at repairs but he didn’t say anything nice to him.”
“Definitely,” you reason, looking thoughtful. “He doesn’t really talk much normally, so I think that’s a good sign.”
“I’m gonna ride back with him,” Jennifer says hiding a giggle behind her hand.
“Go for it,” you say, unable to stop from smiling. You can’t help but enjoy her excitement.
“I wonder what he kisses like,” she muses, her eyes dreamy. You shrug your shoulders and she fixes you with that same sisterly look. “When’s the last time you had a really good make out?”
“Uh…” you trail off, your cheeks heating. “We can talk about it later. He’ll be pissed off if you don’t get up there soon. Don’t wanna blow your chances now.”
Jennifer gives you a grateful squeeze on the shoulder as she passes, calling up to Joel and Luke that she’s just grabbing some extra nails. You don’t hear their reply because you’ve dragged yourself to the window, your eyes scanning.
You hear them nailing upstairs, the muffled sound of their talking. As always you're on the edge, forever on the outside. You chew at the inside of your cheek in irritation, your eyes scanning the outside.
It's not long after that the three come back downstairs dressed for travel. Jennifer is pulling on her gloves and chatting with Luke about the rumors of heavy snow and Joel is carrying his bag with the tools over one shoulder. He fixes you with an expectant stare, brows raised.
"See anythin’?"
"Nope. Would've said something if I did." 
Joel stares at you, unblinking and you're confused when you see a small curl of his lip in amusement. 
"S'go." 
The four of you trudge towards the waiting horses. Chestnut looks excited to see you and you grin as you approach. You press your forehead to his cheek, stroking down his flank as the rest of the group begins to pick a horse.
"I can ride with someone again," Jennifer offers and you watch with a touch of amusement as she subtly steps towards Joel who has just climbed atop Midnight. 
"Nah, let's switch it up," Joel says gruffly. "That way s’fair for everyone."
Luke looks your way and you hold in a nervous grin. He’s going to make the same offer to you that he did to Jennifer because he’s a gentleman that way.
The thought has your stomach fluttering excitedly. You think of how your arms will wrap around his middle, how you’ll find an excuse to press your cheek to his shoulder blade. How your thighs will-
"Get on."
Your brows knit together in confusion as you gaze up to your right to see Joel on his horse, holding out a gloved hand in front of your face. His curls fall into his forehead as he tilts towards you, mouth in a firm line.
What the fuck is he doing? Why is he trying to fuck this up for you?
“S’go,” Joel tells you, shaking an impatient outstretched hand from atop of his horse. He looks like he’s irritated out of his mind as you make your decision.
"Oh, uh," you glance at the disappointment in Luke's face before turning back to Joel, trying to hide your irritation. 
It makes sense after all; Luke already had to ride with Jennifer. But a part of you had been hoping to spend a bit of time with him on the horse. It's been a long while since a man intrigued you like Luke.
"We don't have all day," Joel snipes at your hesitation. "Let's go."
Jennifer strides forward, taking Chestnut’s bridle from you. You hand it over before looking back up at Joel who waits with one hand on his saddle horn, the other still at your eye level.
You clench your jaw and take his hand, hooking your foot into the footing of Midnight’s saddle and feeling the muscle of Joel’s arm as you grip his bicep and he pulls you astride the horses back behind him. 
He shifts, giving you room to slide behind the saddle. You do so, holding in  a sigh as you position yourself atop the strong animal. You feel Midnight's ribs under your legs, wider than Chestnut's. He's a pitch black mare with a coat that currently glistens. He's always been a rather imposing horse, hesitant around new people.  Riding him is like being in a room alone with Joel – intimidating.
"Hold on," Joel instructs before clicking his tongue, encouraging Midnight to start walking. The horse jerks to a start, causing you to dig your legs into Midnight’s side. You’re lucky the horse doesn’t kick you off for it.
You look over your shoulder to see Jennifer on Chestnut a few paces back. You give her a look that shows how displeased you are to be with Joel, replete with an eye roll. She returns it with a weak smile before her focus is back on the trail. Luke is looking off into the surrounding area, his eyes scanning for threats as he sits straight-backed on Glimmer.
You turn back to face ahead of you, displeased.
At first you barely touch Joel, hands resting on your thighs as the four of you bob along the trail. No one is talking now. The air is filled with an unexpected tension that you can’t for the life of you understand.
Your front is pressed against Joel's back, squeezing gently to make sure you don't slide off.  Midnight makes a jostling step off the path before righting himself. It sends you slipping back, your thighs digging into the horse’s side and your hands going to grab Joel lightly by his jacket.
"Unless you wanna fall off I suggest you hold tighter n'that." Joel bites off. 
You know he’s correct. Sitting this awkwardly is only a burden on Midnight. Your arms snake around Joel’s waist and hold there below his sternum. His chest is broad, his arms muscled, his thighs strong. Everything about him is masculine and tough. All but the soft look of his dark brown curls threaded with grey which curl under his ears just slightly.
Despite everything you've experienced with Joel, actually physically touching him is surreal. You know the feel of his cock in your palm and on your tongue, the taste of his come. But now you can explore the rest of his body first with your eyes and then your hands. 
Up this close to Joel you see the freckles on his golden skin and the way he holds himself stiffly straight in front of you. He’s so broad, his entire disposition that of protector. You can understand why Ellie feels safe with him.  
You marvel at the smooth sensation of his jacket under your fingertips, the warmth of his body. This close to Joel you inhale the scent of leather and homemade lavender soap from Hannah's. You could almost laugh that you both use the same scent mostly because Joel Miller smelling like flowers is an amusing thought.
You pass through a different path on your way back as you always do and are irritated with the sight of the overturned trees. The roots are ugly, twisted things that poke out from the light dusting of snow.
“Shit,” Joel mutters to himself.
Midnight rears back sharply and in a panic your arms wrap more tightly around Joel’s waist, suddenly anxious. You're surprised when Joel's left hand goes to cover your grip knotted against his middle, holding you in place.
Joel grunts out a grumbled whoa boy before tugging Midnight’s reigns with his right hand to get him to obey. His hand is big, warming you despite the gloves you both wear.
"Careful," Joel calls over his shoulder to Jennifer and Luke. "Some big roots here." 
The two of them call out that they've heard him. You twist to look over your shoulder and watch them navigate Chestnut and Glimmer over the uprooted tree. Luckily it doesn’t take long before the four of you are back on the path heading home with no more obstacles in the foreseeable future.
You glance behind you to see Jennifer looking miserable on Glimmer. She looks so disappointed and you want to slap Joel upside the head for missing how obviously into him she is. You think of earlier, when Joel observed her skills and an idea comes to you.
“Hey Jennifer?”
“Yeah?”
“I really like your jacket,” you fumble for a way to make this sound natural.
Jennifer shoots you a confused look, curious as to where you’re going with this. “Uh, thanks.”
“Did you get it from town?”
“I made it,” she tells you, the silent you already know that, reflected in her gaze.
“Wow, you’re so gifted. You made those amazing curtains in your place too, right?”
“I did.”
“You’re so good at making stuff,” you gush. “Especially clothes. You make men's clothes too, right Jennifer? Like jackets?"
"Uh yeah," she says slowly before her confusion fades, realizing what you're getting at. She smiles cheekily at you. "Yeah, I can make jackets, jeans, t-shirts, all that stuff." 
“You’re so talented at it,” you gush. Luke is looking over your way and you feel the need to really drive it home. “I mean, with the holidays coming up I might just want to get a dress from you.”
You have never worn a dress in your life. Not unless your mother forced you into them as a child. But you need to sell this idea that Jennifer is a domestic goddess. You’ll leave out the part about her baking.
“I could make us matching ones,” she says with a wink. You hold in a giggle at the thought.
“I’d like to see that,” Luke offers shyly from behind Jennifer who shoots a delighted look in your direction complete with dramatically mouthed ‘he likes you!’. You flush at the attention, your lips pursing into a pleased grin.
You feel Joel's trunk stiffen in your arms and his hand drops from over yours. He replaces it on the reigns. 
"Keep it down," Joel hisses over his shoulder at you and the others. "Unless you were hopin’ to guide  Raiders our way?"
The two of them go quiet and you cringe internally. You don't know why but you suppose it's because Joel is your patrol partner. A reflection on you in some ways and he's coming off like a major asshole right now. Your arms loosen around his middle finding that the horse is now on smoother terrain.
You glance over at Jennifer about to give her a sympathetic look but she shoots you an exaggerated eyebrow waggle and mouths the words "still sexy" with a head tilt at Joel. You barely suppress a surprised giggle, irritating Joel further. 
"What's so fuckin’ funny?"
"Nothing." 
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