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#i’m so damn serious this time that’s why i haven’t posted any edits in a while bc the storytelling brain has taken over
stillgotme · 4 months
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was trynna take pics in sims and made myself sick tf
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eddiernunson · 2 years
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Trapped | Eddie Munson | Part 4 | 18+
Prev Part | Master Post | Next Part
Paring: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 10.5 K
Warnings: Smut, oral f! receiving, unprotected penetration (wrap it up, don’t do this), first date talk, dirty talk, knee grinding, general newbie when it comes to writing smut.
This is smut, and it's very like lovey smut. Hope y'all don't mind.
Authors note: Oh jeez I’ve written smut but I’ve never written it when it’s all the way I always back out when I try. Sorry it’s been so long I was really upset on the first and I think we all understand why 😭 I miss him. I did just spend the last like three days working hard on this.. hopefully you’ll enjoy. Lots of build up. It’ll be worth it, I hope. Also I love writing Eddie do dirty talk. I know he's a virgin here but I feel like he'd just be good at it. MINORS DNI
edit: totally forgot a read more. oops.
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Your shift ended at 5, and your date was at 7. After you were done work, you dragged Robin right into your car so she could help you get ready at your house. Your parents were home when you arrived, your mom rushing to you as the door closed behind you and Robin. “Aaah, there’s my girl! Haven’t seen you since yesterday morning!” As she says this, she grabs your face cheeks rubbing your increasingly red face. Thank goodness this wasn’t the first time Robin was over. With Robin’s aloof parents it was a bit much for her at first but now Robin usually sits back, smug ass looks on her face, watching as your face gets redder and blotchier.
“Hi mom,” you say annoyed yet loving it at the same time. “Sorry, I ended up staying later than expected at Nancy’s last night.”
Your mom pets your hair, her head tilted and smile warm. “Oh of course! Did you have fun at least?”
You felt Robin elbow your right lower back. “Yeah, Y/N. Did you have fun?”
Your mom’s question was innocent and genuine. Robin was just being an ass. She knew damn well where you were last night.
“Yes, thank you both for asking, Robin.” Your mom puts her hands down from your face as you turn to face her. “I had a lot of fun.” Robin makes a subtle gagging face as you glare at her. “I need to get ready for something tonight, I have about 90 minutes.”
“Oh, okay. Let me know if you need anything.” You’re running up the stairs with Robin right behind you. As you think you’re in the clear your mom says, “Wait, hunny I was doing laundry today and I found a Metallica shirt on your floor. Was that yours? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.”
Thank God you are both around the corner of the steps because the look Robin gave you would’ve given you away in a heartbeat. “He gave you a shirt!?” She whispers, her eyes wide and face red.
“Mom, I think a friend lent that to me when I might’ve spilled something on myself.” You thought quickly. “When I tried to give it back, he just told me to keep it.” You were such a shitty liar.
Your mom knew this very well. Your lies stopped the age you realized she wasn’t buying any of them, you were that bad. “Okay, alright.” Her voice didn’t sound like she was convinced. “Just checking. Did you want me to wash it?”
“No, it’s not really that dirty yet.”
A beat. “Okay. Love you, dear!”
You run to your room, yelling you loved her too before closing the door behind you. “Your mom knows something is up.” Robin says, her face serious. “You’re gonna have to tell her.”
You fly your hands up exasperated, running across your somewhat now organized room from your mom cleaning up to your closet. “I know, I know. When I tell her I’m not going to be able to spend any more nights at his trailer, though. I really liked waking up there.”
“You realize, when Eddie comes to pick you up that the cat will be out of the bag?” Robin points out, rubbing her hands together as she sits on your bed criss-cross.
You toss a dress you thought about wearing onto her face, mildly annoyed. “Stop pointing out flaws in my plan and just help me choose something before I go nuts!”
Robin takes off the dress off her head, slightly unamused. She comes to your closet where you were and starts sifting through your many many clothes. “Jesus, you own a lot of clothing.” She mutters starting to pick out options.
As she goes through your closet, you sit at your vanity, playing with makeup ideas. Do you want to do bright, or go more subtle? Should you do your hair? What about just a pretty bow in your hair? You hear the phone ring downstairs as you put your head in your hands, too anxious to make another decision.
“Y/N! Phone call! Who is Steve?” Your mom’s voice is closer as she calls you, becoming suggestive as she says Steve��s name. She knocks once before tossing you the phone. “Is that whose t-shirt I found?” You put your hand over the mouthpiece, really hoping he didn’t hear that.
“No, mom. He is just our co-worker. And someone I might hang out from time to time. I’ll tell you about the t-shirt later.” You say, hoping that’ll get rid of her.
Your mom put her hands up, as if to say, Alright, I give. Out the door she went, closing it behind her.
“Steve Harrington, you’d better have a good reason for calling before my damn date.” You talk into the phone, scratching at your forehead out of stress. Robin gets your attention, holding between two dresses. You point the one on the left, narrowing down to a final few.
“Well- I never!” Steve says, almost sounding offended. “Also did I hear something about a t-shirt being found? Rookie mistake, L/N.” You roll your eyes, exasperated.
“Yeah, yeah, tell me what you want before I hang up on you.” You say, turning toward Robin and picking the dress on the right.
“I just honestly wanted to wish you luck tonight. Also, I pulled in a few favours and got you a reservation down at Chef’s Table for 7:30”
You stop in your pacing tracks, your eyes wide. “Wait, did you tell-“
“Munson already knows,” he says, interrupting you, “he asked me to call these favours in.”
You hear rustling of a phone being stolen. “Hey, are you finally dating him, so we can stop watching him stare at you across the cafeteria?”
“Henderson, you-“ Steve in the background, faint but coming closer as he catches up to Dustin. Rustling again and Steve’s voice even louder now as he’s in control of the phone again. “Always the goddamn babysitter.”
“Have any last pieces of advice, oh wise one?” You ask, picking another dress Robin had you choose between.
“Be yourself.” He says simply. “You work with two dating disasters who both had to learn this the hard way when it comes to dating. Just do it. Have fun.”
You thank him and press the hang up button, mind racing at the phone call. “Alright, Robin what other dresses do I have to pick between now?”
Robin is now on your bed, laying across it and reading a magazine you had left out. “Oh, you already picked it out.” She points her thumb to your closet. You look to the dress on a hanger, hung up on the door. It was perfect. “I guess when Steve was occupying your noggin you weren’t thinking so hard about what you wanted to wear.”
You glanced at the time, thinking you might need to shower. It was only 5:45. A 15-minute shower will be ok, right? “Robin I’m going to have a shower. You can stay and read about Ralph Macchio. I’ll be right out.” You toss her the magazine, a big editorial about The Karate Kid. You didn’t know it would be useless to Robin who was already reading about Fast Times, but it was the thought to her that counted.
You showered quickly, shaving some areas admittedly a little haphazardly. You washed your hair, your face, everywhere else, and was out of the shower in less than 8 minutes. You grabbed the good blow-dryer on the way to your room, wanting to dry your hair immediately. When you enter the room, Robin had called Steve back, hearing the end of “She’s so nervous it’s adorable” from Robin
You cleared your throat, announcing your presence. Robin stopped talking, her hands stuck in place on the magazine.  You shook your hair dryer to her, signalling its about to get a little loud in here. She understood and let Steve go. “Hey, I-I thought you’d take longer than that.”
“My anxiety is also a time traveller. She doesn’t let me take my time when I feel anxious.” You inform her.
Robin knew what you meant. “Mine never shuts up.”
When your hair is finally dry you shut off the tool one last time, the final dry test done. You get your hair out of the way, clipping it back. As you do your makeup more subtle than you initially planned on, you really appreciate the way Robin has come into your life. The two of you talk about anything and everything, getting your mind from your date. You’re about finished your hair when you hear a honk outside. Robin looks out your window by your bed and starts getting up.
You give her a questioning look as you spray the last piece into place, not knowing what was happening. “Steve offered me a ride home.”
“That’s really sweet of him,” you say, getting up from your vanity. “Can you give me a hug before my nerves set in?”
Robin isn’t affectionate by any means, so she knows when you ask for it, it means you need it. “Here,” she says her arms open awkwardly.
“Thanks for helping me get ready tonight, Robin. I really needed it.”
Robin patted your head affectionately. “As long as you call me to tell me how everything went. Seriously. I want to know. Also plug Nancy in she has been dying to know details, too.”
You nodded sheepishly, unsure what exactly they were hoping in these phone calls. “Go give Steve a punch in the shoulder for me.”
“You know it!” Robin shouted as she went down the stairs to your front door.
Less than five minutes (felt like an hour) passed when the doorbell rang. “I got it!” Your mom calls from downstairs. Uh oh.
You put your ear to the door, dying to know how this will go. You still haven’t told your mom you were going for a date. You were curious how she would react when Eddie Munson shows up.
“Why, hello.” Your mom says in an overly polite tone.
“Hello, Mrs. L/N,” Eddie says, his voice sounded higher than normal, more polite. He had a parents’ voice.  “I’m here to take Y/N out on our date tonight.”
Silence. You wished you could see your mom’s reaction to this. “Y/N L/N! Eddie Munson is here to pick you up for your date tonight!”
You ran to the stairs, fighting back the giggles as you reach the top. You put one hand on the banister, suddenly aware of how cliché this all is. But it was perfect.
You start walking down, avoiding the bewildered look your mom is giving you. As Eddie pulls into focus, you can see the way he is looking at you. His brown eyes soft and wide, the corner of his lips turning up as you come closer. You can take in his outfit for tonight. He’s wearing a white button down, not tucked into a pair of unripped blue jeans. His hair looks more groomed than normal. You switch your glance momentarily to his hands; he’s still wearing his rings. Good.
As you look back up to his face, you take one last step onto the main floor at the front entrance. You fiddle with your hair, tucking some pieces behind your ears. You look down at the floor sheepishly, and finally glance to your mother. It takes every ounce of self control to not burst out laughing when you see her face.
“So, is this is whose shirt I found this morning?” Your mom says, talking purposely loud enough so Eddie could hear.
Eddie smiled widely at that, both dimples on his face clear as day. He was struggling to hold back laughter, avoiding eye contact with you and your mom.
“Can I tell you later?” You say, grabbing your jacket slowly as if to not alert her you were leaving.
“Oh, we’ll talk later.” She threatens, her eyes serious but her mouth somewhat upturned. “Have her home by midnight.”
Eddie coughs. “Uh, yes m’am.”
“Bye mom!” You yell behind you as you grab Eddie’s hand and shut the door.
As the door closes Eddie breaks into laughter. “She found the shirt?” He asks, now catching his breath.
“Apparently, I am no good at sneaking.” You say shrugging. “I didn’t realize my mom knew every piece of clothing I owned. I thought she would just think it’s a pajama shirt.”
Eddie stops and his van, leaning his back against his passenger door as if to block you from getting in. “Can I point out something I don’t think you have thought of?”
“Whats that?” You ask, staring a glimpse of his lips now that you’re up close to him.
Eddie pus his hand up to frame your face, pinky resting on your jawline. “We don’t smell the same sweetheart. She might’ve thought it was yours until she smelled my cologne.”
Your eyes go wide as you realize how she knew the shirt couldn’t have been yours. Shit, you were not good at this sneaking around thing. Eddie chuckles lowly as he leans and gives you a kiss, allowing you to breathe him in. As he kissed you his other hand went to your hip, thumb swaying absentmindedly. As Eddie separated from you, you realized you were standing there with your hands by your sides, taken aback on how your night has barely started yet he can leave you speechless.
He tugs you back a half a step, your brain too foggy to understand what he was doing. He turns around and opens the door. He moves out of your way to pat the fabric of the passenger seat. You get in wordlessly, Eddie closing the door behind you before scooting into the to the driver’s seat.
Eddie starts the van, his music coming on a little lower than you normally expect coming from his van. He smiles shyly, aware of this deliberate choice. “I didn’t want to leave a bad impression when I pulled up.”
He is so cute. You had no words still, so you grab his hand, the one with the rings, and you intertwine yours into it.
He pulls off to the road, heading the right way to which Steve mentioned. He passes a few lights and lets the feeling of being hand in hand get comfortable before saying “So incase you were wondering the plans for tonight I can break it down.”
You smile closed mouth, turning to face him as he keeps his eyes on the road. “Harrington already spoiled Chef’s Table, I’m afraid.”
You see the reaction on his face, the immediate clenching of the jaw, followed by him relaxing and regulating himself. You were impressed. “Can’t tell nothing to nobody these days,” he says, a hint of humour in his voice.
Your hands fly up to your face as you laugh, the honesty of his statement very true. “You can’t trust Steve Harrington with dating secrets. He will spill. Tell Robin if you must keep it from me, but if you need connections Steve was the way to go.”
Eddie huffs a laugh out, his eyes squinted, and his smile closed but wide.
“Chef’s Table, anywhere else? We do have five hours.” You ask nicely, petting his hand to butter him up.
Oh, did that work. “Yes, I figured if we have time, and we might we can hang back at my place again. Watch something a little better than Back to the Future, maybe.” He said, shrugging.
Your brain says something that you have to muster the courage to say out loud. “I hope when you say watch a movie, you really mean make out on your couch again.” The words felt like they came out jumbled and out of breath, but Eddie literally does not hear that part.
He only can resist the urge to pull over and start making out with you right now. Cause the way you looked tonight; he was barely holding it in as it was. “You can’t say something like that looking the way you look right now,” Eddie grimaces, his hand tightening around yours. “That’s not fair.”
You giggle, finally taking his eyes off him. It wasn’t long before he was pulling up to the parking lot of Chef’s Table, less reckless than usual.
You hold your breath as he holds your hand and escorts you to the door, gulping.
Oh god, shit. You could barely breathe. Please go well.
-
Eddie led the way into the restaurant, the candle lit atmosphere engulfing the two of you. Shit. You’ve never been here before, but it was intimate and fuckin’ romantic. The host at the front greeted the both of you, warm smile in a suit and tie. “Good evening, do you have a reservation?” He asks politely.
“Yeah, we have one for 7:30 for Munson,” Eddie says, clearing this throat after. As the host looks to his reservation list, Eddie yawns, his forearm flexing has his hand squeezes around yours. “Sorry, darlin,” he whispers, leaning down to tell you. “Being crazy excited for tonight has kind of worn me out.”
You bump into him without moving your feet, not looking at him to avoid him seeing the smile that captivated your face.
“Oh, I see it. Harrington’s favour.” The Host mumbles under his breath. “Yes, Munson. Sorry that took so long. Right this way.”
The host leads the two of you down a long line of tables, passing candle lit couples as you continue to an ever-dimmer back area. “A back corner table with lower lighting, as per request.” You will have to both kill and thank him later. “Here are your menus. Can I get started off with a drink tonight?”
“Water” You say.
“Coke.”
“Perfect. Your waitress will be right out to help you out.” The host, hair somewhat like Steve’s and a dazzling smile, probably would’ve made you blush maybe a week ago. Tonight, the only thing you cared about was the man with the scraggly hair next to you in the booth, arms crossed and leaning on the table, looking at his menu.
You grabbed your menu; suddenly aware you had never been here before and you have no clue what’s on the table. “So,” Eddie says, feeling him scooch closer to you. “Three years huh?”
You set the menu back down, relieved in the momentary release from the bubbling anxiety of a new restaurant. Sad news meant that this anxiety was replaced with the anxiety of being this close with him. “Yeah, three years. It would still be ongoing if it weren’t for my meddling friends. I would’ve probably let myself stare at you until graduation.” You spoke honestly, it made you feel vulnerable and entirely too open.
“Really? So, how are they meddling friends?” Eddie says his body turned towards you and his chin resting in one hand.
You smiled, thinking about how their antics gave you more action than any of them were expecting. “Well, to start, I’ve known the Wheelers for quite some time. My parents are friends with their parents. I’ve never been all that close with their kids until three or so years ago. By some miracle Nancy didn’t even know I had a crush on you until around this August when I saw you at the library doing some research and I nearly crashed into a whole bookshelf. From then on, she couldn’t unsee it.
“Then Mike got into your club like I had hoped he would and upon hearing this I nearly panicked. I was at their house, just hanging out and I remember full on choking on my soda when he announced it. Nancy was very prompt about asking what you were like so Mike could describe you without feeling weird. After he said that you were, and don’t tell him I told you, literally the nicest, coolest guy he’s ever met he saw my face and finally put 2 and 2 together.”
“Alright here are your drinks,” a young girl’s voice interrupts your story, giving you the coke and Eddie the water. “Hi, I’m Daisy I’ll be serving you tonight.” You look up at Daisy, a girl what you swear is everything you were insecure about not having. A better body type, her hair was picture-perfect, she even managed to make an awkward dining uniform look half decent. “Are you ordering any appetizers for tonight or do you need more time?”
And she’s also only talking to Eddie. She hasn’t even glanced at you.
Eddie looks up at her and looks back down at the appetizers. “We’ll have the breadsticks, please.” He says, his voice overly polite and unlike himself.
“Great, I’ll bring that right out for you,” Daisy promises, awkwardly avoiding any words to negate from acknowledging your presence.
Daisy leaves, leaving you to look at Eddie with wide eyes. What if he decided that you weren’t what he wanted? What if the moment he knew he had more options he took it? You pushed this thought aside as he grabs your hand. He’s here with you.
“So oblivious Mike Wheeler knew, what next?” Eddie asks one hand holding yours and one supporting his head.
You blank for half a second before remembering your train of thought. “Well, he told his three best friends and his girlfriend El, who told her best friend Max, who ended up retelling Lucas, who told his sister Erica, who probably told Tina.” You sighed. More people knew about your stupid crush than you realized. “Before Nancy found out it, I worked at Scoops Ahoy! at the mall before it burnt down with Harrington and Robin. I told Robin when she asked why I wasn’t hitting on any of the guys who came in. Well 1, I’m too nervous to, and 2, I had already liked you for two years at that point. That’s when Harrington also found out, but he didn’t know that I had never spoken to you. He assumed we had interacted once or twice at least but I neither confirmed nor denied. I just carefully avoided the subject.” Eddie squeezed your hand, his head tilted and attention fully onto you. It felt like the stars in the sky were all aligned.
“For the record Steve said if he knew about my crush on you earlier, he would’ve shoved us in a closet and locked the door.” Eddie chuckled, letting go of your hand to start fidgeting with his rings. You look away for a second, that absolute tease. “I don’t know how well you know Nancy Wheeler, but she gets shit done. So, she sent Mike to ask you to pick up a movie for him, told my co workers to go on break for 5:30. Honestly, that was the only way I was going to talk to you. Trapping me. Then of course last night with DnD and ‘not enough seats in the car’ was absolutely planned. Erica was in on it.”
“Wait she planned that shit?” Eddie asks, genuine surprise in his features.
“Could you not tell?” You ask.  
“Oh god no. Most people don’t go into a scenario like that thinking they’re being set up, sweetheart.” You shrug your shoulders, apologetic. “I just figured that I got lucky. I got to spend more time with you.”
Holy shit how did this man own your ass so easily. You took a moment to recover from hearing those words come out of his mouth. “The only person that didn’t know very much about it was my mom, and she found out the moment she opened the door. I wouldn’t be that shy about liking someone unless it was for a good reason.”
Eddie narrowed his eyes, sitting closer now. “That reason is?”
“I think you know, Munson.”
“Not sure I do, L/N. I’d appreciate it if you would expand.” Eddie knew what you meant. You just looked so cute when you squirmed.
You sighed, prepared to tell the embarrassing truth. “My mom knew I liked someone. Sometime in freshman year she was asking basic questions about how school was going. She mentioned boys and I just went completely silent. Every time she brought up the idea of liking someone and I would just..stutter through the conversation. I think she knew the person I liked was just not someone she was expecting. You’re very different than I am from what I’ve observed.”
You paused, giving Eddie a moment to soak in what you told him. “I also didn’t tell people outright most of the time because if it was mine, and only mine then no one could ruin it. What if you found out and you wanted nothing to do with me? What if you laughed at me? Worse if you let me down gently. Rejection wasn’t an option if nothing was ever going to be done about it. To me, it felt like a crush where you have it despite knowing you had no chance with the person.”
“No chance? You thought you had no-“
Eddie was interrupted by the sound of white flatware hitting the table. “Here you go. Did you get a chance to look at the menu yet?”
You picked up the menu, quickly spotting something you usually look for at other restaurants. Eddie ordered one of the specials, barely glancing at his menu. “Perfect choice,” she says, again only looking at him. “I’ll be right out with your food.”
Eddie stared off at her for a moment, face unreadable.
“She’s pretty,” you say, feeding off a reaction from him.
Eddie looks back to you, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. “Is she? Never noticed.”
You smirk, looking down at your fingers fidgeting on the table. “I mean I would probably be able to tell more if she actually looked at me.”
His jaw clenched, he reaches out and put his hand on your further shoulder. “You noticed that too, huh?” He lets his face turn into a smile, he was just looking at you softly, his eyes wandering around your face. “She doesn’t want me. She wants the thrill of stealing someone’s date. Next time I won’t say a word to her. You can speak for me. If you say something I don’t want, fuck it. I will eat it happily if it means taking Daisy down a peg.”
You giggle at that, Eddie’s long lashes suddenly coming directly into view as he puts his forehead against yours. “I’m here with you. I want to know you. Don’t mind awful girls like her.”
You wanted to savour this moment. You closed your eyes, wanting nothing more to just kiss him. Would making out in the only nice restaurant in town be in bad faith? Probably. Probably, yeah. You regrettably disconnect your forehead.
“I wanted to get back to what you said there before. What made you believe you had no chance?” Eddie’s face looks concerned, looking in your eyes as you avoided his.
You looked into his eyes, noting the concern he had for you. “You need to talk to someone to have a chance, for one. For two, you are” you pause, feeling anxious about what you wanted to say. He tucks the loose hair framing your face behind your ears, silently encouraging. You take a breath. “You are so out of my league, it’s insane.”
Eddie loses his breath, grabbing your face and kissing your lips. Hard. He stops, you’re both sat up, feels like you’re airborne.  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”  He says it against your skin, his breath against your cheek. You lean your head back, staring at his face.
You really couldn’t believe you were here, right now. You grabbed his hand, interlocking them as you kissed the back of it.
“Enough about me and my embarrassingly long crush on you. What about you? Tell me why you’re here. Please.”  
“Well, at school I tend to get stared at a lot. Sometimes just getting up to throw garbage in the trash feels like walking down a really bizarre runway. I’ve been able to tell when it’s vindictive versus when it’s fearful. Random jocks or lost little sheep are a dime a dozen each. When I first noticed yours, you were a freshman. There was that look of fear in your eyes, which I’m used to but now I’m wondering if that was cause you were a freshman. I didn’t know what to make of it until I caught you consistently over the next few weeks.”
Your eyes went wide, not believing what you are hearing. “You have been catching me staring at you since my first week?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ve made a game of it. I see if I can catch you with out you noticing. When you do notice, I don’t catch you again for another week or so.” Eddie shrugs. “I never approached you because the idea that someone was looking because they might want me for something more than a friend was almost too good to be true. Plus, there was one other factor.” Eddie paused, reaching forward for the still untouched bread sticks. “You want a bread stick?” He asks, pointing one towards you.
“Why breadsticks?” you ask, accepting his offer.
“Do you not like breadsticks?” He retorts, knowing the answer.
“I do, its just-“
“Exactly. Everyone likes them.” Eddie says cutting you off. “Now eat. I got shit to say.”
You follow his demand without delay, adding butter generously before you start chewing on some admittedly damn delicious bread.
“Good girl.” Well, that just awakened something in you didn’t expect. Hopefully your expression didn’t give you away.
Eddie noted the pause in your chewing. It did.
“I don’t know if you can tell, but people at Hawkins High and just Hawkins in general don’t like me.” Eddie was saying as he chewed on his piece of stick. He laughed without humour. “With being called a freak at the end of Junior High somewhat as a joke to being Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson by the entire town in two years comes with a lot of baggage. I usually don’t tend to spend too much time mulling over it since I owe them literally nothing, but it’s not for the faint of heart. Even my club and my band members know that if they associate with me, their social standing immediately plummets. Like I’m talking” he makes a whistle descending in pitch followed by an explosion, his hands mimicking an explosion for effect. “And sure, they don’t mind. Most of them never had a good standing on a social ladder to begin with. I can kind of live with my friends being social outcasts because of simple association, but I could never live with the idea of it affecting someone who would be the closest to me. Having someone who I care about in that way being scrutinized for caring back would kill me. I couldn’t fathom the idea of you, shy as you are, also facing what I receive daily. It completely stopped me from ever approaching you.” Eddie paused, his mouth full busy working on a breadstick again. You were done with them for now, leaving room for actual dinner.
Eddie swallowed his piece audibly, you sit there waiting patiently for him to continue. “I mean, I could’ve probably had a fling with a girl maybe behind closed doors.” Eddie waited, dramatic effect. “That’s just not my style. If I am dating someone, I want to show them off. I want them to wear my rings, sit on my lap during hellfire, make other people uncomfortable by how obsessed I am with them.” His voice had increased in volume as he continued. He stopped, realizing how loud he had gotten. With Eddie, passion means volume. In everything.
Your breathing was heavy, imagining yourself on Eddie’s lap giggling in the cafeteria. You’ve pictured yourself sitting with Hellfire once or twice, usually only right next to him. Now the picture was much clearer, the smiley kisses, the groans from his club members, the middle finger Eddie flips them in return. You felt your face heat up dramatically. “You okay there, sweetheart?” Eddie asked, putting his hand up to hold your face.
“’M fine.” You say, squeaking out the words.
“So, I convinced myself it was for your own good that I didn’t approach you. I was perfectly fine. Until all of your meddling friends got in the way.” Eddie licked his lips letting his hand drop down.
“Alright I have your food right here.” Daisy sets down the food, awkwardly apart from each other considering you and Eddie were sat shoulder to shoulder. “Can I help you with any thing else?” Daisy flirts, a bit too comfortable.
Eddie grabs his plate and silverware as if Daisy wasn’t there. Then you remembered only you were speaking to her now. “Can we please get some refills?”
Daisy’s eyes turn sharply to you, a glare before a dazzlingly fake smile appears on her face. “Of course! Anything else?” Her eyes are back to Eddie, hoping for him to respond.
“Mmm, this is really good,” Eddie exclaims, looking to you.
You move the breadsticks forward on the table to her. “We’re done with these, thanks!”
Daisy doesn’t say a word, taking the hint. Hands off, bitch. She walks off in what you could only describe in what a toddler does when they don’t get their way. Why were you jealous of her again?
Eddie starts laughing next you, his mouth full of food still as he struggles to keep it in. He finally swallows, his contagious laughter infecting you. “Do you mind continuing?” You ask sheepishly. “We were really getting into the good part.”
“Patience is a virtue, Y/N.” He retorts. “But I think you have plenty of it if you want to put up with me. Your friends ruined my plan of not ruining you. Seeing you so close put a wedge in the wheel of my bicycle of life.”
You giggled, reaching for your silverware as you realized you should start working on your meal. It looked genuinely good. Now you understood why your parents opted to come here every time they needed a night out.
“Literally everything I had thought about before went to shit. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I fully panicked. I got high that night to numb it and it just intensified it by a million. I spent well into the night perched on my bed like a goddamn gargoyle scared. I mean, once I have spoken to you, I just couldn't not speak to you again. I had whole idea panned out for next week, but they crashed it. I was planning on talking to you more and more as the week went by. Yesterday I just initially planned on saying hello after first period. Lunch time was a happy accident, but it gave me the courage to ask you sit next to me.”
You were sure glad you were eating because you were pretty sure what he was saying would’ve made an empty stomach churn. You found it impossible that he was this overworked about you. The way you were freaking out after Thursday was the same way he was, too.
“I was going to keep talking to you every day more and more before asking you out on Friday to take you out on Saturday. You girls are sneaky. Ruined the plan. Last night, you couldn’t have ruined the plan any better than you did.” Eddie took another bite, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it.
You swallowed your current bite, a question hopping into your brain and out of your mouth before you could stop it. “Were you nervous, last night?”
“Oh, fuck yeah,” Eddie answers like it was obvious, mouth full. He swallows, “I’m a hell of a fidgeter so I just made the popcorn to stop myself from pacing around the trailer like a madman, sending you running.”
You are almost done your bowl, surprised at how much you’ve eaten while listening to him. This felt incredibly easy right now. You had forgotten the feeling you had on Thursday at work, how incredibly uneasy and nervous you were. You were nervous now, but it was pretty jitters. “I spent about what felt like ten minutes overthinking what movie to watch. I thought asking if you were a virgin would send me walking 7 miles home.” You nearly held back what you had just said, but you’re quickly realizing you didn’t want to. Not anymore.
“Not going to lie, that one hurt my ego a little bit.” Eddie says, finishing up his dinner. “The fact that you didn’t flip out about it made me feel better.”
You melted, turning your body so you could reach out to pet his hair comfortably. “Why would I flip out? We all go at our own paces. Plus, you have the ability to make one into jelly even without the experience.” You feel yourself open up more and more as the evening goes on.
“Princess you might want to watch it unless we skip going back to the trailer and make out here.” Eddie warns you, his eyes dark and his voice a tad rough. “I know we have a dark corner but it ain’t that dark.”
You fail to hold back a smile, proud of yourself. You take your hand out of his hair, somewhat reluctantly. “I guess I can wait.”
Daisy comes back at the end of your sentence, much less cheerful than she has been all night. She drops the check on the table, both of you haven’t even asked for one. She grabs both of your plates and wordlessly walks off.
“Wow. I’ve seen the basketball team take losses easier than this girl has taken your rejection,” you comment.
Eddie shrugged, never seeing a game before. “Well, the way she was behaving you figure she is looking to hook up with other women’s dates often. Either she’s not used to rejection or just a brat. Neither one is the better option.” At the end of his sentence, he reaches forward for the bill, his face wincing ever so slightly upon seeing the total.
“Hey, let me see,” You grab the check, and squish your face at the total. “Ouch. Do you want help paying for it?”
Eddie shakes his head, his hair doing a dance around his face. “No, its ok. I make an ok amount dealing with the assholes. I make them pay an asshole tax. They wanna buy from me but still make me out to be a villain for existing? Sure. For a price.”
You smile at the thought then shake it out of your head. “I work, and have been saving since I was 13,” you state, surprising him. “I have enough to go half, let me. Please, Eddie. This is way too much for a first date.”
Eddie gulps. “If you insist, sweetheart.”
Eddie uses his card, you giving him enough cash after Daisy returns with it. “Did you tip?” You ask, scooting out of the booth with him.
“Nope. Didn’t earn one.” Eddie says, placing his arm around you. He kisses your temple as the two of you walk back down the dimly lit aisle, still lined up with couples on dates. You wondered how many first dates tonight were as good as the one you were having.
The host wished you goodnight as you headed out the door, an airiness of amusement in his voice. You wondered if Daisy complained about not getting what she had wanted. Oh well, she’ll live.
You walk back into the night, the crisp almost winter air dark and slightly cold. You nearly trip over yourselves as you both half run to his van. It was unspoken, but there. You were going back to his trailer, but it was not to watch a movie.
-
Eddie is driving as his normal reckless self, wanting to get to the trailer as quickly as possible. The silence the two of you sit in is comfortable, but there was an air of excitement. A buzz, if you will. You held his hand as a Metallica tape played in the background. Eddie mumbled along to the words, his lyrical voice relaxing you as you kissed his ringed knuckles.
“You know, I sometimes watch when you draw with your finger on your desk. Always wondered what it is.” Eddie muttered, his fingers flexing under your lips.
“Nothing important. Stars, doodles. Our classes together are so boring I just need something to do with my hands.” You answer, knowing your question for him. “Why do you wear your rings?”
Eddie turned his hand over against your lips, highlighting his rings. “I liked the first one I tried on, found the next two over time. Now I just feel safer with them on my fingers. You like ‘em?”
Your voice went small. “A little.”
Eddie chuckled, taking his hand from your lips and used his hand to rub your cheek. You leant into it, smiling.
You closed your eyes, enjoying the warmth of his hand against your cheek. You felt Eddie’s speed slow down, approaching his trailer. As soon as Eddie hit the breaks, his van was put into park and the keys were ripped out of the ignition. He hopped out of the van and ran around the front to open your door. You appreciated his enthusiasm, excitement bubbling up from your toes and up your entire body.
Arousal sat in your gut, something that kept a wet spot on your panties all night. You grabbed Eddies hand as you hopped out of the van, keeping hold of it as his pace forced you to run quickly to his front door with him. You run up the mini front porch, Eddie unlocking the door with a fumbled single hand, determined to unlock it still holding yours.
He flings the door open, slamming against the wall of the trailer. Eddie tugs you inside, his teeth showing through a big smile. You wanted to smile, you really did, but all you felt were nerves. Your core was aching, your thighs tense and chest heavy.
Eddie slammed the door shut and did something you weren’t expecting. He pushed you up against the door, connecting his lips hard against yours. You were suddenly trapped with the wall against your back and Eddie’s chest against yours. His rough hands on your jaw, the smell of him so strong, you inhale sharply, everything finally catching up to you. You start kissing him back, loving that the kisses started open mouthed. His other hand on your hip, solid and digging into your skin.
These kisses feel desperate, wanting, and a little rough. Eddie cuts a kiss off with a bite of your lip, earning a whimper right out of you. He kisses his way down to your neck, starting to use his teeth against your neck. You whimpered again, feeling too much at once. “You look so goddamn good right now,” Eddie nearly growls, the vibrations of his voice only making it feel better. “When I found out we had 5 hours to do what ever we wanted I almost just skipped the reservation and took you here.”
You grab his neck pulling his face back up to kiss him. By its own admission, your knee rises, hooking around his hip. Eddie backs up from you for only one moment, lifting his arms up and back to grab at his shirt. As he takes his shirt off, he watches you, his brown eyes dark. You would cower under his stare if it didn’t drive you so wild. His shirt hasn’t even hit the ground when Eddie’s lips are on yours again. He presses even closer to you now, you only barely touching the floor as he semi holds you up. He moves his knee in as he deepens the kiss, making direct contact with your clothed cunt.
You pull back from the kiss suddenly, moaning at the long-awaited release. Eddie watches you against the door after mistakenly using his knee against you. He leans into your ear, “You liked that sweetheart? What happens if I,” He does it again, aiming this time. You whine higher, louder. Your cunt gives itself away happily, soaking through your panties and surely through his jeans. Eddie’s hands are digging into your back, helping to support you as you’re basically off the ground and grinding helplessly against his knee. You feel his breath against your face as he chuckles lowly. You lean your head against the door, moving your hips for more friction. “Oh sweetheart you’re so wet, already.” Eddie kisses you again, moving his knee again, a final time. “Were you thinking about this at dinner, baby? I was, it was just so hard to hold back in that booth. Surely it was dark enough no one would have noticed if my fingers just,” he moves his hand up your dress and next to his knee, light pressure in the crevice where your legs meet your center, “slipped.”
You let out a frustrated moan, your fingers digging into where they were at the base of his neck. “Please, Eddie,” you whine, grinding against him needily.
Eddie stops his kisses, tilting his head very slightly. “Please, what princess?” He leans into your ear, “Use your words baby”
“Touch me, finger me, please do something!” You whine, his knee stagnant now and you doing all the work.
“Hmmm, so needy.” He says, finally letting his knee down and setting you down on the floor. He grabs your hand, leading you down the hallway to his room.
As soon as you’re through the entrance of his room, he grabs you by the face again, kissing you hard. You waddle backwards until you hit his bed, falling backwards, Eddie falling onto you. You giggle as he straddles you, suddenly can’t believe that it’s happening again. Eddie starts lapping your neck, making his way to the crook. He places his hand under the hem of your dress, barely touching you on your thigh. “I have one question that I almost asked you on our date tonight.”
You looked at him, craning your neck to see his face. “What?”
He leaned into your ear, real close to you. “Have you ever thought of me while touching yourself?” He places a single finger onto the center of your throbbing  core, not placing any pressure.
You were taken aback by his question, the breath in your lungs gone. You definitely did. A lot. You felt too shy to verbally confirm, so you nod your head.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Eddie says rewarding your silent yes with very light pressure on your clothed folds.
You grab at Eddie’s arms, your nails digging into his biceps. “Yes, yes I did.”
Eddie groans at that, holding back again. He couldn’t get the picture of you grinding on your own fingers out of his head.
He rewards your verbal confirmation with a small up and down motion, you got wetter, feeling your juices coat your thighs. “H-how many times, princess?”
You gulp, trying to focus on the warm feeling in your stomach. “Once or twice,” you pause as the pressure of his fingers gets harder as you say it, “a week.”
Eddie looks up at you, his eyes vulnerable and momentary confidence he had gone. “Really?”
He wasn’t being judgemental; he couldn’t believe that you were thinking of him like that. Weekly.
You nod your head, looking into his eyes, searching for any hint of him being disgusted or freaked out. You didn’t see any. If anything, all you saw was wonder and curiosity.
Eddie bites his lip, letting his finger moving your panties aside, moving his two fingers along your folds and hovering over your entrance. “Can you tell me what you were thinking about, sweetheart?”
Your eyes were closing against your own admission, already in bliss. “You, obviously.”
“C’mon, don’t be smartass,” Eddie chides as he pauses his movements. You grind your hips up, wanting a better release. Your clit was aching at this point, begging to be touched. “What had you so riled up?”
“Your hands, God your rings. Your arms, your tongue when you stick it out, your back. Just to-“you pause when Eddie places his thumb on your clit, rubbing small circles. “Ah! Just to name a few.”
Eddie’s eyes roll in the back of his head, incredibly turned on and starting to crave friction himself just from watching you come apart. “Jesus that is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. Take off your dress.”
You immediately sit up, taking your dress off as fast as you can. As he straddles you, you are now half naked with only a set of matching bra and panties, you feel small. You try to distract yourself from this feeling, accepting the look Eddie gave you as confirmation he was liking this, too. Eddie leans down to kiss you, trailing down your chest and through the valley of your tits, using your hand under one of the cup of your bra. He plays with the nipple between two of his fingers, experimenting to see how you reacted. When your chest heaved and eyes closed, he moved the fabric aside, moving in to suck on your nipple for a moment, teasing you with his teeth.
Once he was satisfied, he moved further down, leaving wet kisses as he moved further down and down your stomach. “God, you’re stunning like this,” Eddie mumbles against your skin, his hands exploring all he can reach. “Falling apart for me. I love watching this.”
He finally reached your aching cunt, begging for the attention it once had. Eddie’s slow pace is replaced rather quickly by him moving your panties off in one quick fluid motion. You move your head up to look at his face, seeing him lick his lips as he openly stares at your pussy. It makes you open your legs more, willing to be more open. He leans in, breathing on you.
Your legs start to twitch, barely holding up. “Please touch me,” you beg, your head falling back down onto his bed.
Eddie leans in, lapping one long lick down the center of your folds, his tongue just barley going into your entrance. Your legs close in on his head because of this, tensing up because of the insane amount of pleasure it just gave you. Your head is woozy, one hand in his sheets, the other searching for him. Eddie grabs your legs, and pulls your hips downward, so he can be right on top of your pussy I rather than just near it.
He wastes no time again, digging right back in. Eddie continues lapping along your folds, taking a moment to suck on them. The sensation sends waves of pleasure through your body. You feel yourself get wetter, your pussy juices flowing down and drenching your thighs. Eddie moans against you, gripping your thighs, his dry hands feeling rough against them. You start to need more release, your hips grinding up and into his face. One of his hands on your thighs goes to your hips, holding them down.
You whimper, the feeling of wanting more still there.
He laughs, the hot breath against your pussy overstimulating you. “Patience, sweetheart.” He says, low but loud enough for you to hear him.
“I can’t, I can’t,” you whine, the knot in your stomach beginning, your thighs right up against his face.
“Relax your hips, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers, stopping. You open your eyes, facing his ceiling, a poster or two in the corner in your eye. You let your hips relax, your eyes focusing and unfocusing, your legs shaky. “Good girl.” You tense up reflexively to this, shifting your hips.
After letting you relax once more, Eddie starts to lightly tread one finger along the folds of your entrance, allowing only one fraction of his fingertip enter you. The finger crooks, bending as it barely presses against you. “Please, Eddie. More.” You beg him. This was too much to handle.
Your eyes closed, almost blissed out from the world, you don’t see the dark smile Eddie gives you mouth wide from the ecstasy he feels by being able to see you come undone like this. He finally places his finger inside of you, all the way to his knuckle where you can feel slight pressure of his ring. It goes back out just as slowly, starting to pick up the pace. As it builds pace, he starts to suck on your clit in a rhythm.
You feel yourself come closer to the edge, the not in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter. You don’t know if you believed he had limited experience like he claimed because he was so damn good at it. “Is this what you thought about princess? My fingers fucking you like this?”
You moaned loudly at this, nodding your head. “Uh-huh.”
Eddie takes his hands off holding your hips down, letting your hips buckle up instantly. As he leans in, he supports his crouched self onto the bed, you look at him, feeling the position change. You can see what he’s doing now, working on you but supporting himself that allows him to grind up against the bed for some release of his own. You let your head lay back down, eyes rolling in your head as you comprehend what he’s doing.
“I’m close, Eddie,” You moan, continuing to grind up against him.
He moves his finger faster, adding a second one to help. “Come on, sweetheart.” Eddie said, sounding a bit out of breath. “You’re doing so good, baby, taking this so well.”
“Just like that.”
Eddie bends his fingers then, hooking right against your g spot. It was the perfect thing to send you over the edge. Eddie could see from your brows knit together and face squished up you were close. You had no time to even warn him, the knot in your stomach snapping all at once. “Good girl,” Eddie says, working you through your high. You feel like you’re floating, unable to feel his bed beneath you. You grab onto him, attempting to ground yourself. Your vision goes white momentarily, your legs shaking.
You come down, feeling like a feather just flown into the wind on its downward trajectory. Slowly swaying back and forth as it floats down. You open your eyes, the ceiling coming into focus, Eddie’s heavy breathing grounding you. You sit up slowly, using your hands to support your shaking weight. You were still shaking in the aftermath, feeling yourself pulse around his fingers.
He takes his fingers out when you sit up. You take in his appearance, hair disheveled, and pink mouth with a wet shine on it. You reach down, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards you. He happily obliges, crawling up to you with a stupid big grin on his face. He slams his lips against yours, forcing you to fall right back down onto your back. You laugh into it, his chest against your half uncovered one. You preen your hands behind your own back, reaching for the clasp of your bra. “Can you help me?” You ask, now lying awkwardly on your arms.
He looks over you, huffing a laugh as he sees you with your arms trapped behind your back. Eddie reaches behind your back, unclasping your bra for you after fumbling with it for half a second. He rips it off you, tossing it aside to god knows where.
As Eddie leans in to kiss you, the fresh feeling of his skin directly against yours, you are all too aware his jeans are still on, boner pressing against the harsh fabric. You reach down, grabbing at his bulge. “You need to get rid of these jeans,” you mutter, starting to kiss his jaw as you move your hands to undo his jeans.
Eddie pulls away, giving you a look you couldn’t quite place. He opens his mouth, hesitating.
“You can tell me anything.” You say, pausing on his belt loops.
“I want you.” Eddie says, his face unwavering and suddenly serious.
You smile, reassuring him. “Baby, I don’t think I could’ve made it clearer; you have me. You literally owned my lingering eyes for way too long.”
Eddie gulped, looking away from you, mustering courage. “I want” Eddie paused, sighing. “I want to fuck you.”
Your smile fades, his words drenching the sheets beneath you. “Yeah?” You ask, your voice soft.
Eddie nods, his eyes moving up and down along your body.
You tighten your grip on his belt loops, leaning in to kiss him. As your lips connect, Eddie moans into it, loud and needy. You bring his pants and briefs down in one swift movement, keeping his lips on yours. He kicks them off the bed, his cock now brushing against your stomach. You break from him, keeping your foreheads connected as you reach down to start to fist him. Eddie bucks his hips into your hand, needing the release you offered him.
“You think you’re ready?” You ask, moving your hand at a steady pace, flicking your thumb against his slit occasionally. “I don’t want to rush you into doing something you’re not ready for.”
“I have been wanting to fuck you since I saw you in my shirt yesterday morning.” Eddie says gruffly. “I have condoms, in the drawer.”
You feel impulsive. “Who said anything about a condom? I want you too. I want to feel all of you.”  
Eddie’s eyes noticeably widen, taken aback by your bold statement. “Oh.”
You reach up to kiss him again, more tender than you’ve been kissing him all night. “Please, I want you inside of me. Now.”
Eddie’s breath hitched, framing his hand on your cheek. He leans up to reposition himself, moving your legs so he’s sat in-between them. He pauses, cock in his hand as he hovers around your entrance. He looks at you, one last time to make sure you were all in. You lick your lips, your eyes moving up to his face as you nod.
“Shit,” Eddie mutters, scooting towards you. You feel the head of his cock barely touch the folds of your entrance, moving up and down to position himself. “Ready baby?” He asks, his voice barely coming out.
You look at him, knowing this was his first time. "Are you?"
Eddie nods, his face looking desperate. He really wanted to be inside of you. You squeeze his hand, and nod.
Eddie finally moves himself into you, moaning as your wet heat completely enwraps his cock. “Fuck,” he grunts.
He was bigger than you anticipated, needing a moment to adjust. You held your hand out to signal for him to wait.
“You okay?” He asks, concern in his voice.
“Mmhmm” You whimper, your legs tense and eyes squeezed tight. “You’re just, really big.” A moment passes, and the pain transfers to pleasure. You nod.
He moves in a little more, now only halfway in. His hands are on your hips, caressing them to comfort you as you wince again. It takes only a moment before you’re ready for more. “You can move, if you want.”
Eddie starts to pump, only moving about an inch. “Oh shit” You mutter, you move your legs to frame his hips.
“Fuck princess you feel so good. So tight.” He whispers, barely able to hold back from thrusting hard into you.
“More, Eddie.” You whisper, wanting to feel even fuller.
His hips buckle at your request, going deeper inside you. “How does that feel, Y/N?” Eddie asks, voice gruff.
Your voice is barely intelligible, eyes rolling back at the mere feeling of Eddie fucking into you.
Holy shit you were fucking Eddie Munson. The man you’ve wanted for three years. Holy shit.  
“Your perfect little cunt feels so goddamn good princess,” he moans, his thrusts gaining in speed.
You have too much to say back at him, but your mind and your mouth don’t seem to connect at the moment. You grab at him, pulling him so his forehead rests against yours. He used the more solid foundation he had to fuck into you harder, now thrusting his entire length into you.
As he continues moving faster, you lift your legs wider, your feet up in the air as his cock fucks your pussy open. “Baby, that feels so good,” You manage, not sure if he can even understand what you’re saying.
He leans into your neck, nipping at your skin as the rhythm gets sloppier.
Eddie is mumbling something, border lining on rambling at this point. “So good..so...tight…fucking..Y/N…”
You grab his face, pulling your foreheads together again. “Eddie, are you getting close?” You felt yourself get close again, a second orgasm usually not far behind a first. Eddie nodded, his face in a desperate state. “Where do you want to come?”
Eddie’s hips start losing it’s steady rhythm, bucking into you. It’s perfect, it’s needy, it’s rough. “Let me come on those beautiful tits, sweetheart.”
You move your hands to cup them, playing with your own nipples. Eddie leans in at the sight, rewarding you with messaging your bright red bud. The mixed sensations are enough to send you over the edge, your cunt tightening around him.
Eddie jerks his hips out, crawling onto you so he’s straddled onto your stomach. He buckles into his hand, wet come shooting out of his cock. He moans into it, clearly forgotten how to be self conscious about how he sounds. You open your mouth and stick your tongue as you come down from your high more easily, accepting the rogue come happily.
He collapses onto you, his hair in your face as he lands on the pillow you’re resting on.
A moment passes, both of you catching your breath. He’s covered in sweat, and as are you, despite him doing most of the work. Eddie lifts his head up to your face, connecting your foreheads. “That was,” he breathes a bit more, a loss for words.
“I know,” you say, agreeing. Eddie smiles, leaning down for a kiss.
This kiss you share is sweet, closed. Not the kind of kiss one usually gives after literally fucking the sense out of someone.
Eddie collapse next to you, yanking you into his arms so you are cuddling. You close your eyes, allowing yourself to sit in this moment before you realize. “Eddie can you get me a cloth, please? I’m still covered in your come.”
Eddie chuckles and kisses your forehead.
He gets up wordlessly, not bothering to put on any clothes as he wonders into the kitchen to grab you a wet cloth. You glance at your watch, not knowing the time. It was almost 11. When Eddie comes in with a wet cloth, you reach out for it. He yanks it out of reach. “Allow me.”
Eddie wipes the cloth on your chest and a little on your neck, completely taking care of you. He runs back out to throw the dirty cloth into the laundry and comes back after a bit of scrounging around in the kitchen. He had a glass of water. “Here. Drink up.”
You sit up, your legs feeling weak. “Thanks.” You take a sip, keeping an eye on him. You drink it all in one go, handing the glass back to him. “You know it’s just after eleven?”
“Well then, I guess we better get going soon then if we want to make curfew.” Eddie sighs dramatically.
You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head. You scoot yourself so you’re standing, nearly unable to. Eddie almost asks what you’re doing when you reach in to give him a hug. “I really like you, Eddie.”
Eddie pets your hair, kissing your head. “Well, I really like you too.”
“Did we just?” You ask, all too aware that you were both still completely naked.
Eddie rests his chin on your head, nodding. “Yes, princess we did just fuck. And I think we do an ok job of it.”
You hide your happy face into his chest, nuzzling the slight hair. You stay like that for another ten minutes before you both had to get ready to avoid being late for your curfew.
The ride back is not as quiet, the music turned down so you could talk. You talk about everything, what you were planning on doing tomorrow, the assignment you still haven’t done.
You hold his hand absentmindedly drawing on it with your other. You felt yourself falling harder than you could even think possible. Hell, you thought for one second you might be in love with him.
As he was talking animatedly about his new campaign he had planned, you listen intently, laughing at his antics.
You really could get used to this.
-
taglist: @emturtles @yourthebrokengirl @steeldaisies
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reddeadreference · 2 years
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Tiny Progress Update
5/30/22 - Drafts: 62 | Queue: 0
TL;DR / Short Version: I’ve been busy and the queue is empty which is why I haven’t posted anything in so long. I apologize for the sudden stop of work on all this.
I’m hoping I’ll be able to get back to working on this blog more consistantly some time in the near future.
Long version:
I’ve been busy with multiple things and haven’t had the time to work on posts or even play the game.
1) I’ve been trying to write for multiple fics I have (5 as of rn) which I’ve done to myself, I can never just work on one thing I always hop around.
2) I’ve been trying to platnum Harvest Moon: Light of Hope on ps4 for the past month because I need to return it via gamefly so I can cancel my subscription before I get charged for another month - I have until the 5th or 6th of June to return it. I’ve been playing it non-stop; the amount of grinding to plat this game is ridiculous. (I’ve put so many hours into the game it doesn’t even keep track anymore, my save has been at 99:59 hours for at least two weeks now.) 
3) My father is starting a new form of chemo and I have to be around in case he has any serious side effects which means I need to be downstairs and my ps4 is upstairs in my room. (The only way I’ve been able to play HM is because I have ps remote play on my phone and I don’t need to have perfect aim to plant cabbage. I’ve tried playing red dead on it and the best I can do is some photo stuff and maybe recording some cutscenes.) - Along with needing to keep an eye on him, I also just wanna spend time with him because to be completely honest he’s starting this new treament because what he had been getting for the past few months didn’t work, things got bigger... so.. yeah.
I am still able to work on the transcript side of the cutscene videos but I haven’t been able to record or edit any all month. I have 2 or 3 videos already up on youtube I just need to finish the text for so those will be in the queue at some point.
TBH the biggest obstical to me working on posts or anything related to this blog is the damn Harvest Moon game, I’m so close to plat-ing it that I don’t wanna just leave it unfinished cause I know I’m never gonna rent it again and can’t afford to get charged for another month of gamefly anymore.
Again, I aplogize for the lack of posts. I should have filled up the queue a lot more, sooner, so that it wouldn’t be so long without posts.
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junghelioseok · 3 years
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heart-on.
↳ your one-night stand definitely isn’t relationship material, but maybe—just maybe—your manager’s son is.
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◇ hoseok x reader ◇ smut | strangers to lovers!au ◇ 10.1k [1/1]
❛❛ my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick ❜❜
notes: welcome to the first installment of the serendipity series! we’re starting with hoseok, because, well, have you met me? 🤣 be warned, however, that this isn’t anywhere near as edited as i’d like so i’ll probably give it another read/edit tomorrow but for now!!! here it is!!!
⇢ series masterlist. | inspired by this post.
warnings: dirty talk bc hoseok’s got a bit of a mouth on him, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kids!), sexting. dick pics, obvi. brief mention of a dead pet goldfish :(
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You’re refilling your mug when you hear it. Voices filter out from the kitchen, floating past the coffee station where you’re pouring yourself another drink and hanging in the open air of the hallway that leads back to the rest of the office. They’re familiar voices, too—voices that belong to the resident gossips of your workplace. Lottie’s pitchy, nasal tone melds with Hyejin’s higher one, their conversation interrupted every so often by an exaggerated exclamation or gasp from Sandra, the third and final member of their trio.
“Haven’t you heard? Carolyn’s divorce was finalized over the weekend, the poor thing.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine how she’s feeling. I mean, getting back into dating at her age? Goodness!”
“And now she’ll be all alone at the holiday party, too. How sad is that?”
“It’s tragic. Poor thing.”
Rolling your eyes, you grab a packet of sugar and tear it open, upending it over your mug and watching the crystalline granules fall into the dark liquid within. You know for a fact that Sandra and her husband can’t even stand to be in the same room for an extended period of time, considering how they’d spent most of last year’s holiday party talking to entirely different groups of people. You’d sat two tables away from them during dinner, and they hadn’t even made eye contact once. And as for Lottie and Hyejin, well, you’re certain that their relationships aren’t much better. All three of them are miserable people as far as you’re concerned, and you make a mental note to check in on Carolyn—a sweet woman in her thirties who always keeps chocolate bars in her purse—on your way back to your desk.
“Sheesh. Vultures, the lot of them. Don’t you think?”
You whirl at the sound of your manager’s voice. Kyunghee Jung is a dark-haired woman in her late fifties, and she laughs when she sees your startled expression, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Easy! You’ll spill your coffee if you’re not careful.”
“I’ll probably have a heart attack first,” you reply, pressing a hand to your chest. “What was your job before this? Some kind of intelligence operative? Are you a super spy?”
Kyunghee laughs again and joins you at the counter. “Nothing even remotely as exciting as that,” she answers, plopping her mug down beside yours. It’s decorated with what looks like every color of the rainbow, a massive smiling sunflower taking up the majority of the surface, and the only remnant of the ceramic’s original color is on the very edge of the handle where there’s a lopsided little patch of white. The piece is clearly handmade, and a stark contrast to the simple mint green cup that houses your coffee. Looking at it, it’s impossible not to smile.
“I love that,” you remark, inclining your head at her mug. “Was it a present from one of your kids?”
“Hoseok,” she confirms, running a fingertip along the imperfect handle fondly. “I’ve told you about him before—he’s right around your age.”
You chuckle. “Right, I remember. That’s why he’s the perfect match for me, right?”
“Come now, there’s more to it than that,” Kyunghee defends, waving a hand. “But yes, to answer your question. He gave it to me as a birthday present when he was eight.”
“Well, you never told me he was an artist,” you tease. “Does he have an Etsy? Can I buy one of these off him? Does he do custom orders, maybe?”
Normally, your manager is more than happy to play along with your jokes, but today Kyunghee fixes you with an uncharacteristically serious look. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” she asks. “He’s coming to the holiday party, after all. I figured you could finally meet.”
You blink. Kyunghee has been making offhand remarks about how well you would get on with her son, Hoseok, for over a year now, but you’ve never even come close to broaching the topic of meeting him. You don’t even know anything about the man beyond the fact that his name is Hoseok and that he works somewhere downtown. He also favors tall socks and yellow suspenders if the framed photograph on Kyunghee’s desk is any indication—or at least, he certainly did when he was still in diapers. Whether he still does, is anyone’s guess.
“Wow, I had no idea he was even interested in coming,” you manage when you’ve recovered from your surprise. “Did you bribe him?”
If Kyunghee notices that your voice is a few pitches higher than usual, she doesn’t remark on it. “Oh, you know. I just told him that this would be his last chance to score free booze on the company’s dime.” She laughs. “Three more months and it’s going to be all beaches and sunshine for me. I might even become a cruise person in my retirement.”
You gasp and slap a hand to your heart. “Kyunghee! Think of the environmental impact!”
“I said I might!” she retorts immediately. “Sheesh. Even in my old age, it’s hard to conveniently forget how shitty and unsustainable those damn boats are.”
You pick up your mug and raise it in a salute. “Well, the oceans thank you.”
“My husband doesn’t,” she answers with a sigh. “He’s been dying to book one of those trips that stop all along the Mediterrannean coastline, and I can’t exactly blame him.”
“That is tempting,” you admit. “You’ll have to send photos, if you do end up going.”
“You’ll be sick of me and my photos before the first day is even up,” she promises. Then she pauses, her eyes darting toward the kitchen where silence has fallen in the last few minutes. “Speaking of being sick—you think the vultures are still hovering around in there? I haven’t had lunch yet, and I need the microwave.”
Obligingly, you edge a little closer to the kitchen doorway and poke your head around the frame, scanning for Lottie and her sidekicks. “Coast is clear. Enjoy your lunch, Kyunghee.”
She nods and raises her mug at you, returning your salute. “I always do.”
///
As soon as the work day ends, you fall into your usual routine. Your commute home is easily walkable on nicer days, and though the winter weather is brisker than you’d like, you decide to walk for the sake of stopping at the convenience store on the corner of the block.
Once you arrive back at your apartment, you change into your comfiest sweats and a loose tee. You turn on some music while you throw together some dinner, and settle onto the couch half an hour later with a full plate and Netflix. Television is a welcome distraction from the events of the workday, and you manage to get through three full episodes of your current show before your pesky brain decides to revisit the events of today, replaying the conversations that you’d both had and overheard.
There’s no denying that you’ve been single for quite some time now, and for the most part, it’s been by choice. Ever since graduating from university, you’ve chosen to focus more on your career, and it’s paid off both in terms of the important position you hold in your company and your above average salary. And yet, you can’t help but think back to the gossip you’d overheard earlier—about the supposed tragedy of being single and attending the upcoming holiday party alone. Your mind wanders to Kyunghee’s son, Hoseok, and how he’ll be in attendance this year. You wonder what he’s like, and whether he really is perfect for you, as Kyunghee seems to be so fond of mentioning.
And then your mind goes to Jay.
You met Jay two months ago, on a well-deserved night out after a hellish workweek. The bar was crowded, and the music coming from the neon dancefloor in the back was just loud enough to drown out your inhibitions. That, combined with the alcohol swimming through your system, made you bold. You sashayed your way across the dancefloor, dodging inebriated bodies and swaying limbs as you fixed your attention on the head of pale lavender hair and deliciously broad shoulders that awaits you just behind the bar counter. The bartender is nothing short of gorgeous, and you’ve thrown all caution to the wind. Sure, several other women are eyeing him like he’s their next meal—several men are, too—but you need another drink. And while he prepares it, you plan to flirt.
A lot.
The bar counter is sticky with spilled liquor, but you don’t pay that any mind as you lean across it, the wood digging into the narrow strip of exposed skin left by your cropped top. “Hi!” you call, and the bartender looks up from where he’s just finished pouring a round of shots for a group of raucous young men.
“Hi yourself,” he says, his pillowy lips stretching into an easy smile. “What can I get you?”
You pretend not to notice the way his eyes flicker down to the dip of your cleavage and instead put on the sultriest smile you are capable of mustering. “Vodka soda,” you tell him, injecting a bit of purr into your voice. “A bit of lemon too, if you have it.”
“Trust me, I have it,” he assures, his smile growing as he reaches for a clean glass and a clear bottle. “Name’s Jin, by the way. I’m here all night, if you need anything e—”
A loud clatter and the sound of breaking glass interrupts the rest of his sentence, and all eyes at the bar go to the source of the disturbance. Conversations stutter to a halt, and even the thumping bass of the music seems to dull. Jin darts to the other end of the bar, where you can see that one of several barstools has fallen to the ground. There’s a man on the ground as well, surrounded by shattered glass and spilled dark liquor, and your eyes widen when you realize that you know him.
And arguably, a little too well.
“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. People are starting to lose interest in the spectacle, turning back to their own conversations and continuing on as if nothing had happened at all. The man is beginning to clamber to his feet, and a few people lend a helping hand as Jin begins barking out orders for everyone to step back so he can sweep up the broken glass. You seize upon the opportunity, latching on to the nearest arm and pulling them close so you can hide behind them. Vaguely, you’re aware of them sputtering in surprise, but you only have eyes for the man who had fallen off his stool, watching him carefully as he brushes himself off and tries to play it cool despite the sizable patch of whiskey soaking his white shirt.
“Hey, uh…” Your human shield is speaking. “Are you okay? You’re squeezing me pretty tight.”
That draws you out of your daze. Abashed, you loosen your grip on his arm and look up into his face, your throat going dry when you realize how handsome he is. His black hair is parted over his forehead, a stray strand falling into warm brown eyes set above a straight nose and an inviting mouth. There’s a freckle above his top lip, just shy of the center, and your inebriated brain wonders just what it would be like to kiss it.
“I, um—” You clear your throat and try again. “Sorry about that. I just didn’t want him to see me.”
Your newfound companion raises an eyebrow and glances over his shoulder at the drunk man, who is now being ushered out of the bar by his buddies. “You know that guy?”
You nod, cringing. “Yeah, his name’s Trent. I… may or may not have dated him for a few months last year.”
The man laughs out loud. “You dated a Trent?”
“What, like you’ve never made a questionable life choice?” you challenge. “Besides, you shouldn’t judge someone based on the sins of their parents. It’s not his fault they gave him a terrible name.”
“Sure, but it is on him for going along with it,” he replies with a shrug. “I would’ve changed my name as soon as I could if my parents had named me Trent. But hey, that’s just one man’s opinion.”
You laugh. “Okay then, Not-Trent.” Relinquishing your grip on his arm, you let your fingers graze his hand before pulling away entirely. “What do you say we continue this conversation over a drink?”
The man, whose name is decidedly not Trent, catches your fingers in his and gives them a gentle squeeze. “Happily.”
One drink turns into two, and then three. By the end of the hour, you are feeling pleasantly warm, the alcohol spreading through your veins like molasses and turning your surroundings into a hazy blur. The music has grown even louder, pounding against your eardrums, and you grab onto Not-Trent’s wrist as he sets his now-empty glass back down onto the counter.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, raising your voice to be heard over the thumping bassline. “I can’t even hear myself think.”
“The parking lot’s out back,” he suggests. “Why don’t we get some air?”
You nod and stand up on wobbly legs, cursing your decision to wear heels when you stumble into your companion. He steadies you with a gentle but firm hand, and you don’t miss the way his touch lingers on your lower back, his palm warm through the material of your blouse.
Together, the two of you pick your way through the throng of swaying bodies on the dancefloor. The bassline thuds in your ears, dark and hypnotic, and you can feel the reverberations thrumming across the slats of your ribs and echoing in the cavern of your chest like a second heartbeat.
It’s almost a relief, then, when you step out into the cool night air. Your ears continue to ring for a few seconds, but it soon fades and leaves behind only the muted hum of traffic from the street and the faint sound of music from inside. At your side, Not-Trent releases a long breath and leans against the brick wall of the building, and you turn to take in the steep slopes of his side profile as he tilts his head up toward the velvety night sky.
He’s handsome. Dressed in ripped jeans and black leather, he’s a sight to behold, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been craving a bit of intimacy for quite some time now. The alcohol swimming through your system makes you bolder than you normally would be, and you reach out to lay a hand on his arm. He turns toward you with a silent question glimmering in his irises, but you simply step closer, until you’re pinning him against the wall with your body and you’re breathing the same air.
“Hey,” you say, your voice an airy whisper. His eyes are near obsidian in the dimness of the parking lot, illuminated only by the orange glow of the streetlamps on either end, and your gaze flickers down to his mouth before roving to the freckle that sits upon his top lip. “Kiss me?”
Your companion’s eyes widen. His lips part, but no words come out, and you’re about to repeat your question when he finally finds his voice again.
“That’s really… that’s not a good idea.” Awkwardly, he clears his throat, but the hoarseness of his voice and the harsh bob of his Adam’s apple give away his true desires. “Look, you’ve been drinking. We both have, and—”
You cut him off, pushing up to your tiptoes and planting a messy kiss to the soft dip just beneath his bottom lip. “Don’t care,” you mumble against his skin. “I want you.”
Your companion laughs weakly. His hands find their way to your waist and pause there, as if he can’t decide whether to push you away or pull you closer. “You don’t even know me,” he murmurs.
“I don’t have to know you,” you reply. Your fingers drag down his chest, trailing along the delicate silver necklace that rests against the black of his shirt. From the chain hangs a round pendant, the surface engraved with the letter J. Slowly, you trace it with a fingertip, the metal shining even in the dim light, and satisfaction blooms in your heart when your companion’s throat bobs again. “I want you,” you breathe, soft but insistent. “Isn’t that enough?”
“I—” He clears his throat and tries again, and you wonder if he realizes that his hands have slid down to your hips, or that there’s a growing hardness against your lower stomach that’s becoming increasingly harder to ignore. “Look, I’m flattered—really, I am. And you’re… I mean, fuck, you’re gorgeous. But I don’t think we should do anything when you’re clearly not in the right frame of mind to be making this kind of decision, and—”
“And, nothing.” You wind your arms around his neck, pressing close and grinding subtly against the bulge in his pants. You smirk when he releases a low hiss from between his teeth, and hide it by laying a trail of kisses along the stretch of bare skin exposed by the dip of his collar. “Stop being such a gentleman,” you whisper. Your fingers trail down his chest, past the silver of his pendant and down to the faded denim of his jeans, teasing at the cool metal of his belt buckle. “I want this. But if you’re not interested, I can always go back in there and—”
The rest of your sentence dies in your throat. Your companion has tugged you flush against him in one smooth motion, and your gasp is cut off by the firm press of his mouth against yours. Immediately, you melt into the kiss, and a moan tears from your lips when he spins you around and pins you against the brick wall of the building.
“You’re a spoiled little thing, huh?” His breath fans hot against your cheeks, and you shiver when you meet his eyes and see the dark promise reflected there. “Used to getting what you want, huh, princess?”
Your breath hitches at the endearment—something your companion doesn’t miss. “Oh, you like that?” He chuckles hoarsely, and when he speaks again it’s in a rasp that sends heat straight to your core. “What else do you like, hmm? You want me to be rough with you, princess? Or should I be gentle and treat you like a queen?”
You reach up, raking your fingers through his hair and skimming across the soft strands of his undercut before finding purchase at his nape. “You talk too much,” you whisper.
And then you’re crushing your mouth back against his, whining when he immediately takes back control of the kiss. His grip slides downward, his fingertips digging into the skin just above the curve of your ass, and you squeak when he grabs the back of your thigh and hooks your leg around his waist.
“You feel that?” he rasps into your ear, nipping at the delicate shell and chortling when you keen. Your skirt has ridden up dangerously high on your spread thighs, and you let out a soft whimper when he grinds harshly against your center. The lace of your panties and the denim of his jeans are the last barricades between you, and you wonder, vaguely, whether your companion has a bit of an exhibitionist streak when he slides one of your sleeves down your shoulder and begins kissing a trail down to the swell of your cleavage. “You feel how hard you’ve gotten me?”
You lean down, kissing the soft spot where his jaw meets his ear before letting your teeth graze against his skin. “Why don’t you do something about it then?”
He hisses out a sharp breath, his hands tightening their hold on your hips. “You’ve got quite the mouth on you, huh? I can’t wait to make you eat your words.”
Any retort you may have had is interrupted by a sudden swell of music and the sound of a slamming door. Whirling to face the source of the noise, you immediately spot a familiar head of lavender hair atop broad shoulders encapsulated in the black uniform of the bar. Jin hasn’t noticed the two of you yet, his attention fixated on his cell phone screen, but he looks up when you let out a little squeak of surprise and shove your companion’s chest in an attempt to create some distance between you.
“Hey.” Jin raises a hand in greeting, a knowing smirk curling his lips. “This phone call shouldn’t be too long, so please. Don’t stop the party on my behalf.”
Heat floods to your cheeks. There isn’t much use protesting against his insinuation, considering the rather compromising position you’re in. Much to your relief, though, your companion simply huffs out a chuckle and waves Jin off. “Thanks, man, but we’ll get out of your hair.” Lowering his voice, he turns back to you. “Coming, princess?”
You nod. He offers you his hand, and you take it gratefully, adjusting your skirt so that it drapes properly over your hips and thighs again.
“Have a good night!” Jin calls after you, amusement lacing every word. You can’t work up the nerve to respond, and luckily, you don’t have to. Your companion leads you around the corner of the building, where several rows of cars are parked beneath an orange streetlamp. On this side, the exterior brick wall is painted with a mural, and you admire the colorful galaxies and nebulae swirling amidst silvery white stars and the word serendipity spray-painted in pale blue.
The last car in the row is parked just beneath the letter Y, and it’s here that your companion stops. The sleek black vehicle has an almost vintage feel to it, and you glance up when you hear the jingle of metal.
“I’m guessing this is yours?”
He nods, pulling a set of keys from the pocket of his leather jacket and inserting one into the lock. “Yeah. You like it?”
“It’s beautiful,” you tell him, tracing the edge of the passenger window “Makes my car look like a total piece of shit by comparison.”
Your companion chuckles, pulling open the driver’s side door, and you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the window as he presses a button to unlock the rest of the doors. Your hair’s a bit of a mess and your mascara has smudged beneath your right eye, and you hurriedly swipe at it as your companion turns his attention back to you.
“So,” he says. “Now what? I can give you a ride home, if you want.”
Deliberately, you let your gaze drop down to his crotch, where his bulge—albeit waning—is still visible. “Seriously? I thought you were going to… what was it again? Make me eat my words?”
And just like that, it’s as if a switch has flipped. His eyes darken to obsidian, his lips settling into a stern line, and you barely have time to draw in a breath before he’s caging you against the side of his car and molding his mouth to yours. Your lips part beneath the onslaught, and he wastes no time in dipping inside to explore, licking into you until you’re both breathless.
“Inside,” he breathes once you’ve broken apart, and you instantly obey. You wrench the door open and all but tumble into the backseat, and he isn’t far behind as he slots himself between your spread thighs. Your hands fly to his shoulders where you help him shuck off his leather jacket, tossing it carelessly to the front where it lands in a heap on the dashboard before focusing your attention on the hem of his black t-shirt. Your companion obliges you as you push it upward to expose his toned abdomen, grabbing it by the collar and pulling it off the rest of the way when your reach falls a little short in the cramped interior of the backseat.
“Your turn,” he whispers when you try to reach for his belt, his hands settling around your wrists. “It’s only fair, princess.”
Pouting, you let your hands fall limp in his grasp, and he chuckles as he leans down to pacify you with a kiss. Deft fingers find the hem of your blouse, pushing it up until you can twist out of the material. You throw it aside with no regard for where it lands on the ground, and lay back as your companion drinks you in, his dark gaze raking across the lacy black lingerie that decorates your curves and skims you like a second skin. “Fuck,” he breathes, his voice hoarse with a combination of amazement and disbelief. “You’re stunning.”
You smile, trailing a fingertip from the dip of his collarbone down to the silver necklace that sits prettily against his bare chest. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you tell him, tracing the letter engraved into his pendant. “Jay.”
Your companion—newly dubbed Jay—smiles back. “You’re something else, princess,” he murmurs, before leaning down to kiss you again. He explores your mouth thoroughly—languidly—before moving down to nip at your neck, and already, you can feel the beginnings of marks beginning to form, blossoming across your skin as irrefutable proof of your tryst.
It isn’t long before Jay frees you from your bra, watching with carnal fascination as your breasts spill out of the lacy material. You whine when he reaches out to cup one, his palm hot against your bare skin, and he smirks crookedly when a pinch to your nipple makes your back arch off the leather of the seat. “So pretty,” he rasps. “I can’t wait to see how you look stretched around my cock.”
“Stop waiting, then,” you tell him, trying again for his belt buckle. This time, he lets you fumble it open, leaning back to watch you work with hooded eyes and a lazy little smile. Emboldened, you push aside the denim of his jeans and free his cock from the confines of his underwear. He’s hard and hot and heavy in your palm, and your tongue darts out instinctively at the sight of the pearlescent precum beading the tip.
“Jay,” you murmur, thumbing across the head of his erection and smirking when he hisses in pleasure. “Fuck me.”
Jay seems to consider your demand, mischief flitting across his features before he manages to school his expression into something more neutral. “Where are your manners, princess?” he asks, pushing your hand away and giving himself a few long, slow strokes. “Say please, if you want it so bad.”
For a moment, you consider refusing. Jay seems to be the type of man who enjoys a good game, but between the state of his cock and the earlier interruption, you’re pretty sure he’s nearing his limit. And even if he isn’t, you are. And so, you shelve your pride for the time being, and trail a hand down the length of your bared body as you bat your lashes up at him. “Fuck me, Jay,” you repeat. “Please. Want your cock so bad.”
His answering smile is equal parts amusement and satisfaction, and altogether sinful. “That’s my girl,” he rasps, before shoving your panties aside. Lining the head of his cock up, he enters you in one smooth thrust, and you moan as your walls stretch to accommodate his girth. You’re more than wet enough to take him in his entirety, your eyes fluttering shut when he bottoms out, and he groans hoarsely as he takes a second to relish the feeling of your walls gripping him so tightly.
“Fuck. You’re so wet, princess.” Jay dips a thumb into your slick, spreading it across your clit and rubbing a few experimental circles around the sensitive nub. He groans when you clench around him, his hips stuttering, and you squeeze around him again just to hear him grit out another curse. “Shit. I’m not going to last long at this rate.”
“Don’t care,” you murmur, rocking against him and sighing when the motion sends him a little deeper into your core. “Just fuck me, Jay. Please.”
Jay leans in, a dark lock of hair falling across his forehead as he plants an indulgent kiss on your waiting mouth. “Anything for you, princess,” he breathes. Slowly, he pulls back until only the tip of his cock remains inside you. Then he’s slamming forward, and you can’t even find it in yourself to care about the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin or the way the car rocks. Jay’s thumbing across your clit in tight circles that he times perfectly with the rock of his hips, and you wonder whether the rapidly building pleasure in your belly is due to your dry spell or if he’s just that good. You can feel every inch of him as he fills you up repeatedly, his brows furrowed in concentration and his dark hair flopping as he drives deeper in search of the spot that will have you seeing stars.
You know he’s found it when the pleasure in your belly spikes, your back arching off the backseat. Your skin is sticky against the dark leather and you’re certain the sweat gathering at your temples has destroyed the last of your makeup, but Jay alleviates your concerns with a particularly well-timed thrust and a harsh nip to the soft spot at your clavicle. You keen out something unintelligible, and his lips stretch into a smirk against your skin.
“That’s it,” he encourages. “Cum for me, princess.”
That’s all it takes for the mounting pressure to snap. Your body collapses into a searing orgasm, the pleasure flaring out like a supernova and spreading through your veins like wildfire. “F-fuck, Jay—” you gasp, your fingers scrabbling at his back for purchase and no doubt leaving scratches in their wake. “Fuck, you feel so—”
The remainder of your words trail off into garbled nonsense, and Jay huffs out a strained chuckle as he begins chasing after his own orgasm, rutting against you in a way that both prolongs your pleasure and sustains his own. “Shit,” he groans, his eyes fluttering shut. “Fuck, that’s it. Look at you—taking my cock so well. So pretty and perfect and—”
Whatever he was going to say dissolves into a groan as he gives a few more erratic thrusts before his release overwhelms him. Creamy warmth floods through you, and you rub his back tiredly as his head drops onto your shoulder, his breath flaring hot against your skin as he rides out his orgasm.
It takes several long seconds for the pleasure to recede. Your legs are still shaky when Jay pulls away, straightening up and tucking himself back into his jeans. There’s an empty ache in your core now that you are no longer stuffed full of his cock, and already, you are missing the feeling. Still, you push that aside as you sit up, adjusting your panties and wincing at the wetness that soaks the material and sticks to your skin.
“So,” Jay says after a moment’s silence, and you glance over at him when he huffs out a short chuckle. “That was fun.”
“Not bad at all,” you agree weakly, an irrepressible smile tugging at your lips.
Jay grins. It’s a bright, infectious grin—and it’s one that you’ve already grown rather fond of in the short period of time you’ve known him. It’s a grin that showcases his perfect teeth and crinkles his eyes into crescents, and one that all but forces you to grin back.
“Here, give me your phone,” he says, and you watch as he punches in his number once you hand it over. “Just in case you ever wanna do this again,” he tells you, handing it back. “Don’t be a stranger, princess.”
You glance down at his contact information, saved under the moniker you’d given him and affixed with a short string of emojis. “I won’t,” you tell him, chuckling. “In fact, I just might take you up on the offer.”
-
The screen of your laptop has long since gone dark, and you stretch your arms overhead before waking it again. Rolling your shoulders, you navigate back to the main Netflix menu, hovering over the resume button and watching the trailer loop in the background.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about Jay often. You’ve texted each other quite often since that night in his car—usually when you’re bored and alone and have had a few too many glasses of wine in the evenings. You’ve found yourself tapping on his name instinctively during those odd, ambiguous hours—when late night and early morning meld together and you’re aching for a bit of relief.
And as if he knows you’re thinking about him, your phone buzzes against the coffee table, the screen lighting up with a familiar name.
[11:22pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: thinkin about u, pretty girl 😘
It’s followed by an image, and your heart rate picks up, thudding loudly against your ribs as you open it.
Tumblr media
Fuck.
Your memories of Jay’s face—made all the more hazy by the alcohol and the amount of time elapsed since your first and only meeting—truly don’t do him justice. Though the photograph cuts off just above his nose, you can still admire the sharp angle of his jaw and the fullness of his puckered lips. His skin is golden against the white of his t-shirt, and you lick your lips before thumbing across your screen to respond.
[11:23pm] You: yeah? what else are you thinking about, hmm?
His response is instantaneous.
[11:23pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: thinking about that pretty little pussy of yours
[11:23pm] Jay 😘🍆💦: how good it looked in that pic u sent me tuesday 👅
You barely even notice the way your hand begins trailing down your body, pushing aside the elastic waistband of your sweats. It’s as if you’re on autopilot, as your fingers find their way to the damp spot growing on your panties.
Yeah? you write back with your free hand, already teasing at your clothed folds with the other. Tell me more.
///
It’s an uncharacteristically warm Friday morning when you find yourself in the elevator with Jimin, a good friend of yours who works on one of the lower levels of your office building. “Morning,” he says as he steps in, a large iced coffee in hand despite the fact that it’s still very much the middle of winter. Then he squints, leaning a little closer. “Oh my god. You got laid!”
“Oh my god, not so loud!” you hiss, whacking him on the shoulder and jabbing the button to close the elevator doors. “And no, not exactly. I’ve just been texting Jay.”
“Texting, sure.” Jimin mimes air quotes around the word and rolls his eyes. “You’re sexting him, and we all know it. How many pictures of his dick do you have saved on your phone now?”
“Oh my—” You sigh, trailing off. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
“Right, of course.” Jimin takes a sip of his coffee and pretends to check his watch. “When would you like to talk about it then? Do you need to check your calendar? Can I book an appointment for later this afternoon?”
You stick your tongue out at him. “Shut up.”
Jimin just grins, his lips puckered around his straw. “So, how’s Jay? Have you asked for his real name yet?”
You shrug. “What’s the point? It’s not like we’re friends or anything. We’ve literally only met the one time.”
“Yeah, but that’s just because you’re a coward,” Jimin points out. “What’s stopping you from meeting up with him again? You have his number. You have at least one photo of his dick. Ask him out already!”
“It’s not that easy, though,” you sigh. The elevator doors open to let a few more people in, and you move to the side and lower your voice so that only Jimin can hear. “Jay—he’s not exactly boyfriend material. I mean, we fucked in his car the first night we met.”
“So?” Jimin frowns and takes another sip of his iced coffee. “You talk about things besides sex, don’t you? You definitely told him about your goldfish dying, at least. I mean, you told him before you even told me!”
“Yes I did, and he was appropriately sympathetic about Mustache’s passing, unlike some people,” you sniff. “Get over it already, won’t you?”
“Never,” Jimin replies, ignoring your pointed jab. “I’m sure you only told him because you knew you could get a sympathy sext out of it. How many dick pics did you get out of that night, anyway?”
“You’re gross,” you tell him, punching him in the arm. “Not to mention that’s exactly why Jay’s not boyfriend material. He’s perfectly happy with—whatever it is we’re doing. I can’t just ruin that by asking him to get dinner.” You frown, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I don’t want to make this into something that it’s not.”
Jimin hesitates. “Fine, okay. I guess I can understand that.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a pause, as the elevator makes a few more stops. You watch the numbers crawl higher, and know that you’ll soon have to part ways with your friend..
“Hey.” You nudge Jimin with your shoulder, just as the elevator doors close and you begin the ascent to his floor. “Wanna know something interesting?”
Jimin looks up from his phone, where he’s scrolling through Twitter. “Always.”
“My boss’ son is coming to the party tomorrow.”
Jimin’s eyebrows disappear into his ashy blond hair at your revelation. “Kyunghee’s son? Hoseok, or whatever?”
You chuckle. “The one and only. She’s found about a million ways to bring him up in conversation this past week. She thinks we’re a match made in heaven.”
“Wow.” Jimin releases a long breath. “I wonder what he’s like, then.”
You shrug, adjusting the strap of your work tote over your shoulder. “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”
///
The morning of the party, you wake up to an empty refrigerator. Half stale cereal and the last dregs of milk from the carton become your breakfast, and you munch on that as you mull over the contents of your closet. You’re still in your pajamas, but you pull out your comfiest jeans and a sweater to change into after you finish eating. Then you turn to your collection of dresses, rifling through them and mentally debating the merits of each material and color.
You could go in one of two directions tonight. On the one hand, this is still a work party, and as such your attire should probably maintain a certain level of decorum. But on the other, you’re meeting Hoseok Jung for the first time tonight. You aren’t necessarily looking to start anything with the man, of course, but you do want to look good. With that in mind, you eventually settle on a deep red number that you pull out of the very back of your closet, made of a silky material that skims your curves and accentuates your best assets. Laying it on the bed, you begin your hunt for a pair of matching shoes. Twenty minutes of searching and another five of agonizing later, you step into the bathroom, intent on showering and getting on with the rest of your day.
Upon exiting the bathroom, you decide that tackling the state of your refrigerator takes top priority over your other weekend errands. Sitting down at the dining table, you take stock of what you have in your pantry, planning out your meals for the upcoming week and making a list of what you need to purchase in order to make them a reality. It’s just after one in the afternoon when you exit your apartment with a completed grocery list and your purse stuffed full of reusable canvas bags. The store is a short walk from where you live, and you decide to put in your earbuds as your feet navigate the familiar route. The temperature is surprisingly mild for winter, and the sun shines bright from its perch in the cloudless blue sky. It’s perfect weather for a walk, and the fresh air clears your mind and eases your heart.
At the grocery store, you forego the stack of baskets and instead grab a shopping cart. Weaving your way up and down the aisles, you check items off the list on your phone one by one. Eventually, you find yourself in the cereal section, grabbing a box of granola before turning to where your favorite cereal normally sits. It isn’t there, and you turn in a full circle, confused, until your gaze finally lands on the familiar box on the top shelf.
Great.
Sighing, you push up to your tiptoes, stretching your arm as far as it can reach. Your fingertips graze the shelf, but you can’t quite get a grip on the box itself. Glancing down, you scan the bottommost shelf and wonder if you can step on it to give yourself a boost.
“Need a hand?”
The voice comes from behind you, and a vague sense of familiarity sparks in your brain. Slowly, you turn around, and your entire body freezes when your gaze slides up to the speaker’s face.
“Jay.” The syllable escapes you in a near whisper. “H-hi.”
“Hey.”
Jay stands before you, looking like sin incarnate in a faded denim jacket, black sweatpants slung low on his hips, and not much else. At his throat, his silver necklace sparkles, the silver J pendant glinting beneath the fluorescent lights of the store, and you’re suddenly beyond grateful that you decided to put on a decent sweater before leaving.
“Here,” he says, stepping forward until he’s close enough that you can smell his cologne—sandalwood tinged with sweet citrus. “Let me help you with that.”
The sudden proximity has your breath hitching in your throat. Your heart thuds erratically against your ribs as he reaches around you, the denim flaps of his jacket gaping in a way that exposes even more of his bare chest. By the time he pulls back with your cereal box in hand, you feel almost faint, belatedly realizing that you’d been holding your breath.
“You wanted this, right?” Jay asks, and you aren’t sure if you’re imagining the innuendo underlying his words or the teasing inflection of the syllables.
“Y-yeah, that’s the one,” you manage, fighting to quell the uneven tempo of your heartbeat as you accept the box. “Thanks.”
“Happy to help,” he replies. Then he leans in, close enough that you can feel his warm breath fanning your cheek as he murmurs his next sentence into your ear. “Anything for you, princess. You know that.”
Heat floods across your cheeks. Your heart skips two full beats before taking off into a sprint, and it’s impossible to ignore the way your core begins to thrum, as if anticipating a repeat of that night you first met all those weeks ago. Almost instinctively, your eyes dart up to the ceiling where the security cameras are, and Jay follows the trajectory of your gaze with a low chuckle and a soft brush of your cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“Sorry, princess. As much as I’d love to get my hands on you, I’m kind of on a time crunch today.”
You can’t stop the wave of disappointment that washes over you, even if you’re in the exact same boat. “Rain check, then?”
“Rain check,” he agrees. Slowly, you reach up to touch the engraved silver pendant resting against his chest, rubbing it between your fingertips before tracing the curve of the J, and he catches your wandering fingers between his and presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
“You know how to reach me,” he murmurs with a mischievous wink. His gaze lingers even after he’s released your hand, and you clear your throat awkwardly before turning to deposit your cereal box into your shopping cart.
The two of you go your separate ways then, exchanging goodbyes. You finish the rest of your grocery shopping in a daze, idly going through the motions at checkout and letting muscle memory guide you back home. Your arms are aching by the time you step past the threshold of your apartment, and you heave your shopping bags up onto the kitchen counter with a relieved sigh before returning to the entryway to toe off your shoes. You throw together a sandwich as you unpack your groceries, taking a big bite as you walk back to your bedroom to look at the dress you’ve picked out. Pacing over to the closet, you double-check your shoe choice. Briefly, you debate whether or not to wear flats instead of heels.
There are still a few hours left before you have to start getting ready, so you take the last of your sandwich back to the kitchen and whip up a smoothie to go with it. You scroll through your phone as you eat, browsing through the latest news headlines and scrolling through your social media accounts. Just before six o’clock, as the sun starts setting beyond the horizon and casting long shadows across your living room, you start getting changed. You snap a photo in the mirror once you’re dressed, pulling up Jimin’s name in your phone and sending it to him.
[6:13pm] You: last chance to come tonight
Your phone buzzes with a response almost immediately.
[6:14pm] Jimin: nah. i’d hate to step on hoseok’s toes.
You laugh. Not so fast, you text back. We don’t even know anything about the guy yet. What if he’s boring? Or sexist?
[6:15pm] Jimin: if u think kyunghee raised a sexist you’re seriously deranged
[6:16pm] Jimin: now stop taking selfies and get your ass out the door! you’re gonna be late!!!!
///
Each year, the holiday party tends to be a little over the top, and this year is no exception. The company has bought out the entirety of a restaurant for the evening, and you glance around in amazement at the twinkling lights and lush evergreen boughs decorating the walls and strung up along the ceiling. An assortment of sparkling ornaments hangs from the massive tree in the far corner, interspersed between silver tinsel and more lights. Grabbing a champagne flute off a passing server’s tray, you head farther into the restaurant, skirting around tables draped in creamy linen and greeting your colleagues and friends.
“Is she alone?”
“Figures.”
The voices come from the direction of the open bar, and somehow, you just know that they’re talking about you. Lottie, Hyejin, and Sandra are clustered in the corner with glasses of wine in hand, casting glances around the restaurant and gossiping about anything and everything with a pulse. You’re sorely tempted to grab the nearest pitcher of water off a table and pour it over their heads, but you suppress the urge and instead head over with a saccharine smile. “So lovely to see you, {Name},” Lottie says as you approach.
“I love your dress,” Sandra adds. “Very slimming.”
“Thanks,” you reply, putting on your brightest, fakest smile. “Yours is great too. How are you and your husband enjoying the party so far?”
Sandra’s face sours, and you hide your smirk in your champagne flute. Maybe it’s petty to bring up her rocky relationship, but you’ve been subject to snide comments from Sandra and her friends for years now and it’s become increasingly hard for you to bite your tongue. A few tables away, you spot Sandra’s husband, Rodney, take an enormous gulp of his whiskey and wince as it burns down his throat.
“We’re all having a wonderful time, aren’t we, ladies?” Lottie cuts in when Sandra takes too long to answer. “Hyejin’s date is over there with Rodney, and my boyfriend is fetching himself a drink. You remember Dev, don’t you?”
You nod, even though it’s a lie. “Sure. Say hi to him for me.”
Lottie’s lips curve up into a smile, her head tilting to the side, and you’re suddenly reminded of a snake rearing its head back for the kill. “So, what about you? Have you brought someone tonight, or—?”
“Hi ladies!” Kyunghee materializes at your side, her lips painted a festive red shade to match her dress. She’s wearing the disingenuous smile that she reserves for the resident gossips of your office, and you try not to let your relief show on your face when Lottie’s attention refocuses on your manager.
“So good to see you, Kyunghee,” she simpers. “Have you been here long?”
“Not as long as you,” your manager replies, nodding at the near-empty wineglass in her hand. “I see we’re already making a dent in the wine supply, and you’re falling behind, {Name}. Why don’t we go remedy that, hmm?”
She doesn’t give you a chance to respond, grabbing your arm and leading you away. Kyunghee is surprisingly spry for a woman her age, and you follow after her with some difficulty as she marches through the throngs of conversing people, all the way to the line at the open bar.
“I’d like you to meet someone,” she says, gesturing at the man standing at the end of the line with his back to you. “{Name}, this is my son, Hoseok.”
The man turns around at the sound of his name, a warm, affable smile stretched across his face. “Hi, I’m H—” he begins, but he’s cut off by your sharp intake of breath. His eyes go wide, his smile fading as his mouth falls open, and you’re certain you’re wearing an even more dumbfounded expression. “It’s you,” he says, his voice hoarse.
“Wh-what… how…” You trail off, speechless. The words flounder and die in your throat as your brain struggles to process this development, and you practically feel the way the gears in your head churn to a stuttering halt.
Because this man standing before you, the one that Kyunghee has just introduced as her son, is none other than Jay. He looks completely and utterly devastating in a navy waistcoat and matching slacks, a green tie shaped like a Christmas tree knotted loosely around the white collar of his shirt. His dark hair is parted, his undercut exposed, and you can’t tear your gaze away from the loose strand that has fallen across his forehead.
“H-hi.”
Jay—Hoseok—swallows. “Hi.”
Kyunghee glances between the two of you, her brows furrowing. “I take it you two already know each other?”
Hoseok’s ears begin taking on a scarlet tinge, the color spreading to his cheeks as he struggles to find his vocabulary again. “I—yeah. Yeah, we’ve met.”
“Right. Do I even want to know how?” she asks dubiously, before shaking her head and huffing out a sigh. “No, forget I asked. I don’t want to know. I’ll just leave you two to… catch up.”
Waving goodbye, Kyunghee disappears back into the crowd of partygoers milling around. Hoseok turns back to you, sucking in a deep breath, and you fight the urge to stare down at your toes as his gaze roves across your face.
“I can’t believe this,” he says, breaking the silence that’s fallen between you at last. “My mom’s been talking about you for months, but I never imagined that it’d be you.”
“You’re telling me,” you reply, finally having recovered your voice. “Kyunghee brings you up all the time, but I never thought… I mean, we didn’t even know each other’s names, and now…” You shrug. “Here we both are.”
“It’s a pretty crazy coincidence, huh?”
“Definitely.”
A beat passes, and then two. You’re fully aware that you’re staring, but you don’t dare blink, afraid that he’ll disappear if you close your eyes. Of all the things that you thought might happen tonight, this particular meeting wasn’t even close to making the list. Never would you have thought that the man you only knew as Jay would turn out to be Kyunghee’s son. Never would you have connected Jay to the photographed little boy in yellow suspenders on Kyunghee’s desk, or realized that they were one and the same.
From behind you, someone loudly clears their throat. Another voice calls for you to get a move on, already, and both you and Hoseok belatedly realize that you are still standing in line for the open bar. Hoseok’s eyes go wide again, and you nearly tread on his toes when you both try to move forward. “After you,” he says with a chuckle, gesturing for you to go in front of him, and that’s enough to break the tension. You step ahead of him with a laugh, catching up to the line, and Hoseok doesn’t stray far as he follows your lead.
“So, what are you drinking?” he asks, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Vodka soda with a twist?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to stick with wine tonight,” you reply, peering at the bottles lined up on the counter. “What about you?”
“Hmm. Jack and coke, I think. Nothing else is really calling my name right now.”
Grabbing your drinks, the two of you begin searching for a place to sit. You spot Kyunghee at a table near the front, and she smiles knowingly and offers you a thumbs-up when she catches your eye. Eventually, you settle on a table near the Christmas tree, the lights glimmering off the glasses and reflecting off your knife as you pick it up to butter a slice of crusty bread from the basket in the center. Hoseok follows your lead, grabbing a piece for himself, and the two of you munch in silence for a few seconds before Hoseok breaks it.
“You know, my mom says you’re the perfect girl for me” he says with a dry little chuckle. “Think she’s right?”
“I don’t know,” you answer. “It’s funny, though—Kyunghee’s been telling me the same thing. She sings your praises all the time.”
Hoseok laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Oh, jeez, that’s kind of embarrassing. I’m glad she’s saying good things, at least.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” you tell him, grinning. “She’s only shown us one photo album from your childhood.”
His face crumples. “Was it the Disneyland one?”
You nod, fighting back laughter, and watch as Hoseok groans and lets his forehead meet the linen-covered tabletop with a dull thunk.
“I don’t like rollercoasters,” he mumbles into the tablecloth, his voice muffled by the material. “They make me queasy.”
“Even now?” you ask, and he nods.
“Yep.”
The clinking of a fork against a wineglass—amplified and broadcast through an array of invisible speakers built into the restaurant’s walls—interrupts any further conversation. You twist in your seat to watch your company’s leadership give their opening remarks, listening as they congratulate everyone for a great year and wish you a happy holiday season. The servers begin going out with plates of food, and you thank them as they set yours down. Hoseok does the same before raising his glass in your direction, clearing his throat and offering you a crooked little smile.
“Here’s to second meetings.”
“Third, if you count the store earlier,” you correct, and he chuckles and nods in agreement before clinking his drink against yours.
You spend the entirety of dinner chatting with Hoseok, getting to know him beyond the few facts Kyunghee has mentioned and what little you’ve gleaned from texting him the last two months. He tells you all about his dance studio, Hope World, where he teaches both contemporary dance and the occasional Pilates class. You find out that in addition to rollercoasters, he also dislikes sour foods and raisins, but he loves mint chocolate and sweet and sour pork. He also has a very low tolerance for alcohol—something he tells you as he tilts the rest of his drink into his mouth. “Should I be worried?” you ask as he sets his glass back down, and he chuckles and shakes his head, sending the loose tendril of hair flopping across his forehead.
Dessert is served, and subsequently eaten. The music is turned up, and people slowly begin finding their way to the open space that serves as an impromptu dancefloor. Hoseok rises to his feet and extends a hand toward you, and you only hesitate for the briefest of seconds before accepting it. He leads you out amongst the other swaying couples, his hand finding its way to the curve of your waist, and you rest your hand on his shoulder as he begins guiding you in a slow, simple waltz.
“So?” Hoseok’s voice is a low murmur, soft and gentle against the shell of your ear. “What’s the verdict?”
You blink. “The verdict?”
Even without looking, you can tell that he’s smiling. You can hear it in the lilt of his voice, and imagine it in the curve of his lips. “About me,” he clarifies, carefully pulling back so you can spin in a circle beneath his outstretched arm. “About us. My mom will never let me hear the end of it if she turns out to be right, but I still wanna know. So what are you thinking?”
“Are you asking if I think we’re perfect for each other?” you ask, giggling. “I don’t know if I believe in all that, to be quite honest. Destiny and soulmates—I mean, doesn’t it seem a little too good to be true?”
Hoseok hums. “Maybe. But considering all that’s happened to us in the last couple of months, don’t you think there’s a chance that it's all more than simple coincidence?”
“Maybe,” you concede. “Still, I don’t know if I can give you a verdict just yet. We haven’t even gone on a date.”
“We did do things a little backwards,” Hoseok admits, tugging you close and winding his arm around your waist. “Let me make it up to you, then. Are you free tomorrow?”
“What if I am?” you challenge.
“Then, I’d like to take you out for breakfast,” he replies without missing a beat.
The prospect of a proper meal with Hoseok Jung does something funny to your insides. Still, something makes you hesitate, and you avert your gaze as you search for your next words. “I wasn’t expecting to end tonight with a date,” you admit slowly. “I honestly didn’t even think you were interested in… well, anything beyond sex, to be honest.”
Hoseok’s face creases into a frown, and you look up again when he murmurs your name. “I understand why you would think that,” he says. “Really, I do. But honestly? I had every intention of texting you and asking you out properly. I was going to play it cool and wait a few days, which was stupid in retrospect. And then you texted me first.”
“I texted y—” You trail off. “Oh, god.”
“It seemed like you’d been drinking,” Hoseok says with a shrug, and you press a finger to his lips before he can say anything more. You remember the night in question, and you remember the bottle of wine you’d consumed. And you definitely remember the photographs you’d sent of yourself, and the ones Hoseok had been kind enough to send in return.
“Wait, so you were going to ask me out? And then I… I sexted you?”
Hoseok nods, and you groan and bury your face into his chest.
“I can’t believe this,” you mutter, and you feel laughter rumble through his chest before a hand comes up to stroke along your back.
“Believe me, I’m not complaining,” he assures you. “But I’d still really like to take you out, so what do you say?”
His gaze doesn’t leave yours for a second as he awaits your answer, and your heart skips a beat when you look up to see the earnestness in his eyes and the hesitant smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Breakfast sounds wonderful,” you whisper, and the smile that blossoms on your companion’s face is nothing short of radiant.
“Good,” he says. “Great. Breakfast tomorrow, then. Now, can I kiss you?”
You’re already pushing up to your tiptoes, your fingers fisting in the soft hair at his nape. “God, yes.”
///
“Hey, you made it!”
You beam. “Hi.”
You and Hoseok are about to commence your first date, having just sat down at a cozy little café for breakfast. Hoseok has pulled your chair out in true gentlemanly fashion, and you can’t help but smile over your menu at the few lingering snowflakes that have yet to melt into his dark hair.
“So, here we are,” you remark. “Our fourth meeting.”
Hoseok’s lips stretch into his signature grin, breathtakingly bright and infectious. “And hopefully many more.”
You grin at him. “Yeah? Too bad this is breakfast, because I’d drink to that.”
He leans forward, his grin widening. “Next time,” he says as his hand finds its way around yours, his fingers slotting comfortably into the spaces between your own. “We can do dinner, maybe. Or I can cook for you. But for now, I’m just happy that we’re finally doing this.”
You give his hand a soft squeeze. “Me too.”
“Just promise me one thing?”
The sudden seriousness of his tone has your brow furrowing in concern. “Sure, of course,” you reassure. “What is it?”
He winces. “Please don’t tell my mom about all the dick pics.”
1K notes · View notes
ragingbookdragon · 3 years
Text
I Won't Give Up On Us
Jason Todd x Reader Story!
Word Count: 12.5K Warnings: Explicit Language, Violence, Canonical Character Death, Angst
Author's Note: I wrote this a few years ago I believe, but hadn't posted it back. So I edited (mostly) and fixed it for y'all! Enjoy! -Thorne
**********************************************************************
She sat on the water-tower and watched as they moved across the rooftops; they stopped in the middle and began discussing something. The tall one looked down at the smaller one and nodded to the street. “Stay along the rooftops and check the streets while I look for Selina.”
“Selina’s not around here Batman,” she called coyly.
The two of them whirled around, their eyes moving up until they found her. “Kit.”
She stood up from the water-tower and spread her arms. “In the flesh, Batman.”
The young boy beside him took a step forward. “Where’s Catwoman, Kit?”
Her eyes flitted to the bright colored boy, and she grinned. “Careful Robin…foxes eat birds.”
Scoffing, he crossed his arms over his suited chest. “You wouldn’t do a damn thing to me.”
She raised an eyebrow and hopped down, landing in front of them. “You aren’t the only one with skills, Robin. And we both know who’s the better fighter.” She walked by them, stopping at the ledge before turning to Batman. “Selina had business elsewhere.”
“Where is she?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Dunno. She might be my mentor, but she doesn’t tell me everything.” Gesturing to him, she quipped, “You’d have better luck using those detective skills of yours to find her.”
As she started to walk away, she paused and turned as if remembering something and looked at Robin. “Do you always keep your wallet on you? Or is it just right now?”
“What are you talking about, Kit?” he questioned, brows furrowing in confusion.
She flashed a grin and waved a black leather wallet, enjoying the way his eyes widened at the sight, then patted at his pants; her tone was heavy with challenge as she provoked, “Catch me if you can, little bird.” That was all she said before taking off down the wall, running along the streets.
Robin jerked forward, seemingly forgetting that Batman was beside him as he hauled after her. “GET BACK HERE, KIT!”
Batman sighed as he watched the two teens chase each other, one continually shouting the other giggling, then a voice called from behind him. “They’re almost like a miniature version of us, aren’t they, Bat?”
He tipped his head to the woman standing on the other rooftop. “Selina.”
She smirked and turned, walking away. “Let’s play a game of tag, shall we?” He grunted as he began running after her.
***
She could hear Robin’s feet slam against the pavement with each step he took, and she huffed a laugh. “You’re not supposed to let people hear you, Robin! I thought Batman taught you how to be quiet!”
“I’m gonna be quiet when I get my wallet back from you!”
“Is that before or after I take the money inside?”
“DON’T TOUCH MY MONEY, KIT!”
“So touchy, Robin.” Her hands gripped the ledge as she pulled herself up and onto the rooftop; her feet carried her to the edge of the building, and she peered over it, mumbling to herself, “That’s a little too big of a jump for me to make.”
She turned around and was met by his chest as he slammed into her; her eyes widened as everything moved in slow-motion as they fell over the edge. The wind whipped by them as they fell, and she couldn’t stop the blood-curdling scream that tore through her throat.
An arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close, then the click of the grapple-gun sounded in her ears, followed by his low and confident voice. “I’ve got us Kit, don’t worry.”
Her hands clenched in his suit as the grapple hooked into a building, and they swung down to the roof below. When their feet touched the ground, she pulled away and slung her fist into his stomach. He bent over, holding his stomach and she exploded. “Are you insane, Robin! We could’ve died! How about next time, you watch where the fuck you’re running!”
She turned away and stalked off when a hand curled in hers. “Wait a second, Kit.” She paused, glancing down at him, then he rose and rubbed the spot she’d punched. “Damn, you’ve got one hell of an arm.” She felt the corner of her mouth raise and he matched her grin. “See…you’re not that mad at me.”
Scoffing, she retorted, “Considering the fact that we almost became a giant splatter on the pavement? I’m a little mad.”
“I had us.”
She leaned forward and poked his chest. “And what would’ve happened if you hadn’t?”
He paused for a minute, then laced his fingers with hers. “Then we wouldn’t have been able to go to prom in a few weeks.” He went quiet, then looked at her. “You are still gonna go to prom with me, right, (Y/N)?”
“Yeah, Jason…I am.”
Grinning, he nodded to the diner just across the street. “Wanna get some food?”
“Sure.”
They began walking towards the diner, sliding down the fire-escape and to the street; they crossed the street and stepped into the joint. When the food was ready, they took it back to the roof, sitting down on the ledge, eating, while cracking jokes back and forth.
(Y/N) was sipping on her milkshake when Jason went quiet, and she eyed him. “What’s wrong, Jay?”
He glanced at her then shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously something. You aren’t usually this quiet.”
Jason stayed silent for a moment. “…I’m going to Ethiopia soon.”
Her eyes widened, and she leaned close. “For what?”
His gaze seemed heavy when he looked at her. “I’m finding my mother.”
“I thought Catherine was your mom?”
Jason nodded. “She was…but she wasn’t my biological mother.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a couple days.”
“You’re going to be back in time for prom, right?”
Jason snorted. “Yes, (Y/N). I won’t stand you up at prom.”
She grinned. “Good.” It was silent for a second, then she spoke softly. “Does Bruce know?” When he didn’t answer, she found her own, sighing, “Jason, it’s not a good idea to leave without letting Bruce know.”
He nodded. “I know…but Bruce isn’t who I need to tell right now.” He took her hand. “It’s you.” His other hand fumbled in his utility belt, and he pulled out a silver band that held a peridot in the middle; he held it out to her, and she took it, then stared at him.
“Jason…what’s this?”
“A ring.”
(Y/N) sighed and rolled her eyes. “No shit, Sherlock. Couldn’t figure that out myself.” She paused. “Why though?”
“It’s a promise ring.”
She felt the breath leave her lungs and her eyes went wide. “A promise ring?”
He nodded and squeezed her hand. “I know we’re too young to get married right now, (Y/N). But I love you, and at some point, in my life, I that to become ‘our life’.”
(Y/N) was speechless at his confession, and she pulled off her mask, questioning, “Are you being serious right now? Because if this is a joke, after I beat the shit out of you, I will break up with you, and never speak to you again.”
Jason snorted. “I’m being one-hundred percent serious, (Y/N). I want to marry you someday, and this ring serves as a testament to that.” He squeezed her hand again. “So, what do you say? Wanna make a promise?”
(Y/N) felt tears gather in her eyes, and she shifted, wrapping her arms around his neck; she nodded, and choked out, “Yes!” She pulled back, pressing her lips to his; she murmured against his mouth. “Yes, I do.”
Jason grinned, and pulled her close, and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you, (Y/N).”
“I love you too, Jason.”
***A Few Weeks Later***
She walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her; she kicked off the black heels and began fumbling with the dress zipper. Selina tipped her head around the wall. “What are you doing home so early, hon?” She glanced down at her wristwatch. “Prom wasn’t supposed to be over until eleven. It’s nine.”
(Y/N) glanced at her as she pulled the zipper down. “Jason wasn’t there.”
“He stood you up?”
She shrugged. “If he did, he’d better have a damn good reason for it.”
Selina observed her for a few seconds. “Are you okay, hon?”
“I’m beginning to worry about Jason.” She sighed.
“Why’s that?”
“Because ever since Jason left for Ethiopia, he hasn’t sent me a single message.” (Y/N) paused and looked at her. “Jason isn’t one to keep me in the dark. He would’ve called by now.”
Selina moved forward and placed her hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders. “He’s probably spending time with his mom.”
(Y/N) stared at her before sighing, nodding, “You’re probably right.” She pulled away from Selina’s grip and moved to her bedroom, stopping as she closed the door. “I’ll go see Bruce tomorrow and ask.”
“You might not be able to find Bruce.”
She cocked an eyebrow at her comment. “And why not?”
Selina’s gaze turned solemn. “Something’s wrong with Bruce he’s becoming…ruthless and careless.”
(Y/N) took in her words and nodded. “I’ll see if I can find him. That or I’ll just ask Alfred. He’ll know.”
Selina nodded. “Goodnight hon.”
“Night Selina.”
***The Next Day***
She stood in apprehension at the view of the manor; no matter how many times she’d been there, she was still shocked at the sheer size of it. She stepped up to the door and rang the doorbell, then turned and stared out at the long driveway, listening as the doorbell chimed.
The door opened and (Y/N) spun back around, expecting Alfred to be there. “Hey Alfred, is—Dick?” She stopped and stared at him. “Holy crap! Dick! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Dick smiled at her and opened his arms. (Y/N) leaned in and gave him a hug before pulling away. “What are you doing back in Gotham?”
Dick’s face dropped, and he stared at her. “Bruce needed my help.”
“Selina told me he’s been on edge for a while. It’s good that you’re here to keep him grounded.”
Dick nodded and motioned inside. “Want to come in?”
(Y/N) nodded and stepped by him. “This place gets even cooler every time I come over.”
He chuckled. “It does, doesn’t it?” They stepped into the kitchen and Dick went to the refrigerator. “Want something to drink?”
“Did Alfred make any fruit tea?”
“I think he made mango and peach tea.”
“I’ll take some of that.” He pulled out a pitcher and poured each of them a glass; he handed hers to her and she sipped it. “Alfred makes the best tea, I swear.”
Dick smiled and sat beside her, giving her a once over. “You look good, (Y/N).”
She was surprised at his comment and pointed to herself. “Me?”
“Yes (Y/N). You.” He snorted.
“Thank you, Dick.” She smiled. “Don’t ask me for a loan though, cause I ain’t givin’ you money.”
Dick laughed at her and shook his head. “I’m not going to ask you for a loan, (Y/N).”
“Good…‘cause I don’t have a lot of money.”
The two of them let out laughs, and Dick’s eyes caught the ring on her finger; he nodded at it. “Are you wearing a ring?”
(Y/N) glanced down at it, then back to him and nodded. “Jason gave it to me a few weeks ago.” She twirled it between her fingers, and she felt a smile form. “It’s a promise ring.” (Y/N) paused, then looked up at Dick. “Which brings me to the reason why I’m here…is Jason still in Ethiopia with his mom? He hasn’t messaged me yet, and I’m beginning to worry about him.”
Dick’s expression gave way from surprise to pure shock, and he leaned forward, his tone laced with disbelief. “…Have—have you not been told, (Y/N)?”
She blinked at him. “Told what?” Dick went silent, and (Y/N) cocked her head at him. “What haven’t I been told, Dick?”
He stared at her with a face that made her heart thump ominously and his voice held a tone of solemnity. “…Jason was killed in Ethiopia a few weeks ago.”
(Y/N) thought her heart stopped as she breathed out the only word she could manage. “…What?”
***Part Two***
Noise. Everything that came out of his mouth was pure noise. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think as she rose from the bar seat. Dick looked at her concerned and rose to follow her. “(Y/N)? Where are you going?” She didn’t respond, her feet carrying her towards the study; she entered the room and slid to the wall, moving the clock from its position. (Y/N) skipped the steps, moving as fast as she could into the cave.
She came upon him, standing in front of the Batcomputer talking to Alfred; he turned to her, and she let out a withering whisper. “Is it true?” His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his, but she cut him off, this time, her voice a screech. “IS IT TRUE?!”
He shut his mouth for a few seconds, then murmured, “…Yes he’s…gone.”
(Y/N) saw red and she flew forward, her fists pounding into his chest. “HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME! HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME!” Bruce didn’t respond, didn’t even react to her punches; he just took each blow. After a few seconds of continual punches, he reached out and grabbed her arms; (Y/N) struggled, thrashing against him. “Let go of me!”
He didn’t, instead he brought her forward and circled his arms around her; she struggled for a few moments, but then the realization set in, and she felt her knees weaken. They caved and she let him lower her down as she cried.
Her hands clenched in his suit, and she stared up at him, wailing, “What happened?”
Bruce’s eyes shut and he whispered, “Joker killed him in Ethiopia.” (Y/N)’s eyes momentarily widened, before shutting and she buried her face in his shoulder as she sobbed.
***
She cried for hours, and he sat with her on the floor of the cave the entire time; Alfred and Dick had gone upstairs earlier to give them privacy. (Y/N) didn’t feel like moving, didn’t feel like talking, but she forced herself to; she shifted her eyes to Bruce’s and whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me he di—why didn’t you tell me?”
He sighed and shook his head. “I didn’t know how to. I’ve been so occupied with Gotham that I didn’t have time.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit.” He looked down at her and she felt tears gather in her eyes again. “I deserved to know. I should’ve been the first person you told.”
Bruce looked away but nodded. “I know…I’m sorry, (Y/N).”
“How’d…how’d he die?”
There was a pause, then Bruce’s voice came out no higher than a broken whisper. “It was my fault…I wasn’t fast enough.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Bruce.”
“Yes, it was. I told him to wait but I should’ve known he would’ve gone to save her.”
(Y/N) glanced up at him at the mention of ‘her’. “Her? Who’s her?”
“Sheila Haywood. Jason’s mother.”
“So, he found her? Did he save her?”
Bruce let out a cold laugh that unsettled her. “He tried to…only to be betrayed by her and given to the Joker.” (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and he continued. “He beat Jason to a bloody pulp…then blew up the warehouse they were in.”
“He…killed them both?”
“Yes.”
She sucked in a breath, closing her eyes as the tears ran down her cheeks. “I thought he was still there…still spending time with her…I never imagined this would’ve happened.”
A comforting hand caressed the side of her head and Bruce apologized again. “I’m sorry, (Y/N)…I’m so sorry.” She said nothing and leaned her head onto his shoulder again and let the tears come.
***
The weeks after that were unimaginable, and (Y/N) couldn’t bear to bring herself to his grave. Too afraid that seeing it, would make it real. Make it true. But after wrestling with herself and telling herself that she owed it to him to go, she finally made her way over. Each step was heavy, and she found it increasingly hard to breathe as she walked; she stopped, a hand holding the cold iron. I can’t do this…I can’t…I’m not ready.
(Y/N) moved to turn when a hand rested on her shoulder; she looked up to see Dick smiling sadly down at her. “What are you doing here?”
“I knew at some point you’d go see him…I’ve been waiting to go with you.”
She reared back and glared. “How do you know I need someone to go with me?”
“Because you can’t even open the gate, (Y/N).”
She looked back to her hand, seeing it begin to turn a shade lighter from clenching so tightly; (Y/N) let out a shaky breath. “I need help, Dick. I’m…scared to go alone.”
“I’ll go with you.” He said, his hand shifting from her shoulder to her hand, and his fingers curled around it.
She glanced at him through the tears in her eyes. “You will?” He nodded and she stepped back, letting him open the gate.
Their steps were quiet as the moved through the cemetery, and eventually, her eyes landed on his headstone. (Y/N) pulled away from Dick and stumbled to the stone, dropping to her knees in front of it; her fingers rose shakily, and she placed a hand to it.
It was freezing, and it made her throat close as she traced the letters of his name. “I didn’t…I didn’t even get to say goodbye. The plane was boarding, and he could only wave as he ran to catch it.”
Dick knelt beside her and rested a hand on her back. “None of us did (Y/N).”
“I thought he was still in Ethiopia with his mom…” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him; (Y/N) wrapped an arm under his and around his back, resting her head against his chest. “I don’t know what to do, Dick.” (Y/N) gazed at her hand to the silver band resting on her finger and choked out a sob. “What do I do now?” She stared up at him, hoping he had the answers, but all he did was close his eyes and shake his head.
“I…I don’t know, (Y/N).” he whispered.
Her eyes moved back to the stone, and she felt the tears run down her face. “This can’t be real…he can’t be gone.” (Y/N) sobbed, and the words poured from her mouth. “We were supposed to go to prom. We were supposed to graduate and go to college. Move in together and get…and get…” She couldn’t bring herself to say ‘married’, and she felt Dick’s arms tighten around her and his head dropped to her shoulder.
Soon, she felt the material of her jacket go damp and he whispered, “I wasn’t the brother I should’ve been for him. God, I was so angry at Bruce that I stayed away from Gotham, and I never got to know him well enough as I should’ve.”
(Y/N) pulled back to look at Dick, and she took one of his hands; he met her eyes and she murmured, “You were enough, Dick. He knew you cared for him.” He nodded, and (Y/N) rested her head back against his chest. After a few moments, she whispered, “I don’t know what to do anymore, Dick. I can’t even bring myself to leave my room most days let alone putting on my suit on anymore.”
“Why not?”
(Y/N) let her eyes trace his name and she confessed brokenly, “Because I can’t be Kit without my Robin.” She shut her eyes and brought a hand to her face and cried into it. Dick said nothing, he just held her as she broke down, and he let himself break down too.
***Five Years Later***
She gripped the handle of her whip and followed after Selina as she stepped into the jewelry store. Her eyes moved around the room, then went back to Selina who was busy cutting a hole in the glass case. “Selina…what are we doing?”
Selina snorted. “I believe we’re stealing this six-million-dollar diamond and ruby necklace, (Y/N).”
“No. I mean what are we doing, Selina.”
She stopped cutting and rose, arching an elegant brow at (Y/N). “Alright. You’ve been acting like this for a few weeks now. In fact, it’s been like this since you’ve put the suit back on.” She motioned to (Y/N). “What’s up with you?”
Taking a few breaths of courage, she removed her mask and stared at her mentor. “I’m not doing this anymore.”
“And what does that mean?”
(Y/N) loosened the whip at her side. “It means that you’re breaking the law, Selina. And it’s wrong.”
Selina huffed a laugh and turned back to the case, beginning to cut again. “You’re a little old to be playing Cops and Robbers, Kit.” The crack of her whip sounded, and she watched it curl around Selina’s wrist; her eyes turned back to (Y/N), gaping at her. “(Y/N)?”
(Y/N) narrowed her eyes. “I’m not letting you take this Selina. It’s wrong.” Selina huffed a cold laugh and gripped the whip in her hand, tugging it roughly; (Y/N) flew forward and she landed at her feet. She looked up and saw Selina picking up the necklace, then glance down at her.
“All these years I’ve taken care of you. All these years that I’ve trained you and this is how you give it back to me? By turning sides?” Selina scoffed. “You can get the hell out of my place and find your own.” (Y/N) scrambled to her feet beginning to give chase; she ran past the alarm and threw an arm out, slamming her hand down on the switch. Selina glanced over her shoulder. “You little bitch!”
“I’m going to be a bigger bitch when I take that necklace back from you Selina!” The two of them slammed through the doors on the roof, hands and feet flying.
They both fought and (Y/N) felt Selina’s claws dig into her shoulder. She let out a cry and slammed her palm up into Selina’s chin. The older woman fell backwards, and (Y/N) watched the necklace fly from her pouch. Their eyes met and each of them scrambled, trying to reach it first. (Y/N) gripped the bolas at her side and slung them as hard as she could. They caught Selina’s ankles, and she dropped; she slid to her feet and scooped up the necklace, and she didn’t look back as she ran, hopping ledges and rooftops, listening to Selina cuss at her the entire way.
(Y/N) ran for what seemed like hours, and once she made sure she was safe, she sat down on a rooftop and caught her breath. Her hand shifted to her pocket, and she looked at the necklace. I could sell this if I wanted to. (Y/N) shook her head and shoved the necklace back in her pocket. No. I made my choice. No more stealing. She sighed and turned back to go to Selina’s apartment when she remembered that she couldn’t go back there. So where to now? (Y/N) looked around when a building caught her eye. I can go to him…he’ll help me. She began running again, moving in the direction of the manor.
***
Bruce stood in front of the Batcomputer, moving through the cases when Tim walked up. “Bruce? Can I help you with anything?”
“No. Go see if Dick or Alfred need anything though.”
Tim nodded and began moving when a figure came into view. “Holy crap! Kit?!”
Immediately, everyone was facing the entrance of the cave and they watched as (Y/N) stepped closer; Bruce rose from his seat and moved in front of her, noticing she was out of her suit. “What are you doing here, (Y/N)?”
Her eyes moved from his to the Batcomputer and she nodded at it. “Selina got arrested then.”
“You knew?”
(Y/N) looked at him and stepped forward, moving her hand towards him to reveal the necklace. “I came to give this to you…to return it.”
Bruce took it, looking at her curiously and the others stepped towards her. “Why’d you turn on Selina?”
She took a deep breath and held out her suit, declaring, “I don’t want to be a criminal anymore. I’m tired of breaking the law and seeing other people get away with it.”
To say that they were surprised at her confession was an understatement; Dick tipped his head. “But…stealing is kind of your thing? Why don’t you want to do it anymore, (Y/N)?”
“Because it’s not what Jason would want me to keep doing.” (Y/N) looked at Bruce. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m ready to change but I don’t want to be a criminal. I want to be like you guys…” She swallowed thickly. “I want to be someone that would make Jason proud.”
They were silent for a moment, then Bruce took her suit from her and passed it to Alfred. “If you’re going to join us, you’ll need a new training regimen. We start at dawn.”
That was all he said before turning around, and (Y/N) called out to him. “By the way…Selina kicked me out. So…can I maybe stay here?” He waved a hand and (Y/N) let a smile grace her face.
“Welcome to the Batfamily (Y/N).”
(Y/N) glanced at Dick’s hand held outwards and she smiled, taking it firmly; he shifted and pulled her into a hug, listening as she giggled. “Thanks Dick.”
They pulled away and Bruce walked back over. “You need a new suit Kit. Yours is ripped.”
“Vixen.”
“Beg pardon?”
“Everyone has to grow up sometime. I’m not Kit anymore…I’m Vixen.”
Bruce eyed her before walking past her. “You prove to me that you can be like us, and you can be Vixen…until then you’re Kit.”
“Looks like you have a long road ahead of you (Y/N).” Dick remarked.
She nodded at him. “Right on.” She glanced over at Tim who was still wearing his suit. “Hey…Robin.” He turned to her, and his eyes flashed with fear as she stepped in front of him; (Y/N) pointed to the symbol. “Make sure you honor that uniform. Are we clear?” Tim nodded fervently and she reached up, ruffling his hair. “Good.” (Y/N) walked away and stopped at the stairs, glancing over her shoulder at him. “He’d be proud someone like you filled his shoes.”
“Are you okay with this, (Y/N)?”
Her eyes moved to Dick’s, and she nodded, her voice solemn. “Jason’s gone, Dick. I can’t change that.” (Y/N)’s hand rose to close around the ring on the chain at her neck. “But I can honor him by knowing that Tim’s doing a damn good job as Robin.” She began moving up the stairs and murmured, “And I know he’d be proud that I’m fighting crime instead of making it.”
***Part Three***
She hit the floor, listening as the sound echoed through the cave, and grunted, grabbing her side, the throbbing telling her she was going to see a black bruise soon. He shifted over and knelt beside her. “Are you alright?”
She nodded and clamored to her feet, assuming another defensive position. “Let’s go again.”
“This is the fifth time we’ve done this, (Y/N). Aren’t you tired yet?”
“Again.” She reiterated.
Bruce complied and entered an offensive stance. “Remember (Y/N), it’s not just about blocking each hit, it’s knowing what’s coming next.”
“Got it. Go.”
They circled each other for a few seconds, each of them wondering who was going to move first; Bruce shifted fast, and she readied herself for the coming blows. They came swiftly, and she reminded herself to focus on what he was going to do next. Who am I kidding? The man is unpredictable. (Y/N) kept up, and she saw him grin ever-so-slightly.
“Good. You’re keeping up well.” She blocked the palm he threw at her, returning it with a kick to his side, then backing up; he followed her. “Let’s see if you can go faster.”
“Wait don’t go faster! I’m barely keeping myself on track right now!” Bruce chuckled, but went faster anyway and (Y/N) found herself panicking as each fist came.
“Don’t panic, (Y/N). Focus.” She took a deep breath as she blocked his foot and he said, “When it comes down to a life-or-death fight, you need to be able to keep calm. If you let your enemy get the better of your fear and panic, it’s all over.”
“Is that how you felt when you fought Bane?”
He nodded. “I will admit, that was one of the most fearful moments of my entire life.”
“I imagine having your back broken is.” Bruce shifted again, and (Y/N) saw his foot fly. “Fuck.”
She saw it too late, and it hit her square in the chest; she dropped to the ground, the wind knocked from her lungs. (Y/N) put her hands to her chest and tried to breathe, but the air wouldn’t come in; her eyes widened in panic, and she looked up at Bruce who immediately moved to her side.
“(Y/N).” She motioned to her chest, and he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Just relax. The more you panic, the harder it will be for you to breathe.” She closed her eyes, forcing herself to calm down, then she inhaled deeply, feeling the breath expand in her deprived lungs. She let out a shaky breath and he asked, “Are you alright now?”
(Y/N) opened her eyes, and she jerked, elbow meeting his chest; Bruce’s eyes widened, and she shifted again, taking advantage of the opening he’d given her. The arm she’d hit him with came back and gripped one of his arms and she swung herself around it, placing her legs over his chest, as she pulled it back. Bruce’s back bent on the mat as he tried to move, but she tightened her grip on his arm and her legs, keeping him locked in place.
“Tap out.” He grunted and tried to move but couldn’t and she said again, this time firmer, “Tap. Out.” After a few seconds, she heard his free hand tapping the mat and she let go, rolling off. (Y/N) rose to her feet and crossed her arms, smiling triumphantly. “I win.”
Bruce climbed to his feet and stood in front of her, a hard look in his eyes. At first, (Y/N) began to panic at the look, then the corner of his mouth turned up and he passed her murmuring, “Good job.”
She turned around and watched his back in disbelief as he walked to the shower room and then turned to Dick who was walking over, a towel in his hand. “Did…did that just happen? Did he just give me approval?”
Dick snorted as he passed her the towel. “Don’t get used to it, ‘cause it probably won’t happen again for a long time.”
Tim walked up beside her as she laughed. “Here (Y/N). I got your water.”
She smiled as she took it from him. “Thanks kiddo.” (Y/N) drank from the bottle then glanced at Dick. “I thought you were supposed to be in Blüdhaven. Why are you here?”
“Bruce said there’s some new player in Gotham and I figured he could use a hand.”
“Yeah, that Red Hood guy.” She replied.
Dick raised an eyebrow. “You know him?”
“Hardly,” she scoffed. “Bruce hasn’t let Tim or me patrol since he’s come into town.”
“Is he that dangerous?” (Y/N) passed him and walked over to the Batcomputer, typing on it; a few seconds later, the image of eight decapitated heads appeared on the screen. “Holy shit.”
She nodded at his shock. “He’s effectively taken over the drug trade in Gotham City, and is waging a one-man-war on Black Mask.”
“Is he winning?”
“So far? It appears so.” She paused and clicked the mouse. “I can’t exactly condone his actions because he’s killing people, but he’s keeping the drugs away from children and schools, so I’m not overly angry with him.”
Dick hummed, glancing at Tim. “You doing good, Timmy?”
The young boy nodded with a smile. “(Y/N)’s been helping me a lot.”
“Shove off, Dick.” She muttered when she saw the look on his face.
He spluttered. “I didn’t say anything!”
“You were thinking it.” She moved towards the steps, climbing them towards the door.
Dick followed her. “Going to see Jason?”
(Y/N) nodded as they stepped into the study. “Didn’t get to see him last week because of exams.”
“How’d those go?”
She flashed a grin over her shoulder. “Passed with flying colors.”
Dick reached over and patted her head. “Good job, (Y/N).”
She swatted his hand but smiled nevertheless at his congratulations. “Thanks Dick.” He smiled as he watched her climb the stairs and move towards her room.
(Y/N) walked inside her room and closed the door, immediately stripping from the sweaty work-out clothes; she dropped them into her hamper and moved into the bathroom, stepping into the shower. Once she was finished, she pulled on her underclothes, then put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her eyes drifted to the zip-up hoodie in her closet; she pulled it off the hanger and slipped it on. Even after so long, it still fit her; she could faintly smell the scent of his cologne in it and she sighed, closing the closet, and moving to the door. (Y/N) walked down the steps and to the garage, grabbing her keys as she walked by.
***
The drive to the cemetery didn’t take long, and she stepped across the grass, still covered with dew. She pulled out the bottle of water from her bag, along with the old rag she’d grabbed; she poured the water on the rag then ran it over the surface of the stone, cleaning away the dirt.
“Sorry I wasn’t here last week, Jay. I had exams that week and I was too busy cramming. Honestly, it feels like a shit excuse on my part, but I know you’d understand.” (Y/N) grinned. “I remember how well you did in school. Right next to me, you were the best there was.” She pulled the rag away and wrung it out, putting it away, then she placed the vase of flowers at it, shifting it into place.
“I should mention that I passed my exams with A’s. (Y/N) (L/N) is one step closer to graduating. To be honest, school sucks. My nights are much more fun.” She snorted and pulled a photo album from her bag. “Tim helped me put this together a few days ago. He likes photography a lot.” (Y/N) opened it and reclined against the headstone. “You’d like Tim, Jason. He’s a good kid…smart, God he’s smart. Probably smarter than all of us…even Bruce.” She flipped the pages. “This is an old picture…the first gala you ever dragged me to.”
(Y/N) snorted. “I kept stepping on your shoes when we danced, but you just smiled at me…here’s you and I at the fairgrounds. I remember you threw up on the teacups because you ate too much. Ugh, that was so gross. Hilarious, but gross. Here’s that photo of you, Dick, Roy, and I at the pool. The chicken fight was fun and watching you and Dick pout because Roy and I beat you both was even more so.” Her fingers moved the pages, and she came across one of them; they froze on it. “…This was the last photo you and I took together. The Christmas party Bruce threw the year before you died.” A sad smile crossed her face, and she flipped the page again. “For now, that’s all we have.”
She closed the book and turned to the stone. “But I’ll make sure to take more photos so I can show you. Something tells me that the family is going to get a lot bigger in the future.” (Y/N) rose from the ground and collected her things, then stood in front of the stone. All at once, she felt someone’s eyes on her and immediately, she turned and eyes darting around, but saw nothing. Confused and unnerved, she faced the stone again. “I’ll see you later, Jason. I love you.”
(Y/N) quickly walked to her car and climbed in, pulling away from the sidewalk; she picked up her phone and pushed a button, listening to it ring.
Hello?
“Hey Bruce.”
What’s wrong?
“I think someone was around Jason’s grave.”
There was silence on the line, then his voice came over low and quiet. Why do you say that?
“Because it felt like someone was watching me.”
You sure it wasn’t someone else visiting?
(Y/N) huffed a mirthless laugh. “Bruce, I was the only person in the cemetery.”
I’ll see about putting up a camera in the quadrant that Jason’s grave is in.
“Alright. Hey…about patrol tonight. Can—”
We’ll talk about it tonight.
“Okay.” (Y/N) hung up and continued her drive towards Gotham University.
***
She stood in front of the Batcomputer, watching Bruce type away. “Have you found anything else about him?”
“Not yet. Dick’s going with me tonight, so we’ll see what it brings.”
“About tonight…Bruce, I think you should let me patrol again.”
“No.”
She sighed and leaned against the panel. “C’mon, Bruce. You can’t beat this guy on your own, not even with Dick’s help.” (Y/N) reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let me help you, Bruce. It’s what you’ve been training me to do.”
“She’s got a point Bruce.” They turned to see Dick walking towards them, already suited up. “(Y/N)’s been working her ass off to get back into the field. And after what we saw this morning, she’s damn sure earned it.”
(Y/N) turned back to Bruce who took in Dick’s words, then he rose from the chair and began walking off; she sighed and scratched the back of her head. “I swear it’s one step forwards and two steps back.”
“Don’t take it too personal (Y/N). He’s just worried about the new guy.”
Her response was cut off by Bruce who stepped up to her. He held out a black suit with silver streaks on it; she eyed it. “What’s this?”
“That’s your new suit…Vixen.”
(Y/N)’s eyes went wide, and she gaped at him. “Are you…are you serious right now?”
Bruce nodded. “Dick’s right. You’ve earned the name and right to start patrolling again.” He took in the joy on her face and thumped her forehead. “Go suit up. We leave in ten.”
She scrambled to the changing room and stripped her clothes, pulling on the new suit. It fit like a glove, and she admired the suit in the mirror. She pulled on the domino mask and walked back out to them.
Bruce handed her a grapple gun and motioned to a sleek-black bike. “New bike’s yours too.”
“Holy crap this is awesome!” she yelled, pulling him in for a hug.
“Are you done yet?” Bruce sighed, patting her head.
“Don’t be an ass, Bruce. Enjoy the moment.”
He let out a chuckle as she pulled away, then his tone dropped into a serious one. “Listen to me very carefully, I don’t want you engaging the Red Hood, understood?”
She tipped her head. “I get it, but why not?”
“He’s too dangerous and unpredictable. Leave him to Dick and me. You stick to South Gotham.”
(Y/N) nodded and made her way to her bike. “I’ll stay in contact. Good hunting boys.” She pulled off and drove down the ramps.
***
She stood along the ledge of the building, watching the city below her; the night hadn’t been busy, but it certainly stretched along. Her eyes followed the cars and pedestrians when a flash of red caught them. Holy shit! It’s him! He paused on a roof top, then kept moving; (Y/N) grabbed her gun and aimed it for the building he’d just left when she paused. Maybe I should call Bruce…I’ll just tail him for now and get Bruce information.
She nodded her head and fired, slinging to the other building. Her feet hit the top and she was thankful that her shoes muffled noise as she began running after him. Tailing him wasn’t so hard as he didn’t turn around; he obviously wasn’t expecting someone to follow him. (Y/N) followed him, then, she lost sight of him.
Dropping down into the alley she’d seen him drop into, she let out a ‘huh’ and looked around, whispering, “I don’t understand…he was just here?”
“You’re good, but you aren’t the best.” She spun around to see him standing in front of her; (Y/N) reacted, throwing a fist. He caught it, and she brought her knee up to his stomach; he must’ve been expecting it too because he blocked it with his palm. “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Too bad pal. I’m on the job right now.” (Y/N) jerked her fist from his grasp and threw her other one.
He dodged each punch and kick she sent, and he sighed. “I’m not going to fight you.”
That made her pause and she stopped with her hands raised defensively. “And why not?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you, Kit.”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “Look you’re obviously new in town, so I’ll give you this one for free. My name isn’t Kit anymore. It’s Vixen.”
He leaned against the wall, his arms crossing over his chest; he tipped his head back and flirted, “Vixen, huh? That referring to you growing out of Kit…or becoming a rather alluring seductress?”
(Y/N) uncurled the whip from her side. “Depends on who’s asking.” Whatever response he had was cut off as she cracked it towards him.
Quick as flash, and obviously well trained, Red Hood grabbed the whip and curled his arm around it, jerking it roughly. (Y/N) flew forward and he shifted, grabbing her wrists; he turned them around and her back hit the wall as he shoved her arms above her head. She thrashed until he murmured, “Stop moving.”
She yanked at his grip, then looked at his helmet; she spit at it. “Let me go you fucker.”
He chuckled at her. “Man, you’ve certainly grown a mouth.” He observed her. “Those were nice flowers you left.”
(Y/N) stilled at that and she stared wide-eyed at him. “…What?”
“A nice mix you had going. Forget-Me-Nots, that’s self-explanatory. Primroses for eternal love, Red Tulips for undying love, Rainflowers for atonement, and Sword Lilies for an August birthday.” (Y/N) felt the breath leave her lungs, and all she could do was stare, too stunned to speak. “You’re still holding onto him, aren’t you?”
Her eyes narrowed and she felt tears swim in her vision as she tugged at her arms. “You sonovabitch. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve visited his grave every week for the past five years, always bringing the same blend of flowers, and the same rag to clean with.”
“So, you’ve been watching me?”
“For a while…I wanted to know if you cared.”
“…Why?” His hands shifted, taking both her wrists in one, and the other went behind his head and pushed the button. She watched the helmet unlock and he pulled it off, dropping it do their feet, then he pulled the domino mask from his eyes and gazed at her. (Y/N)’s jaw went slack, and she could barely breathe.
“Because I still care.”
She could barely get his name out. “…J-Jason?”
His free hand came up and cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin. “Hey (Y/N)…been a long time.”
Her heart slammed against her ribcage, and everything began to spin; the last thing she remembered was Jason calling out to her as she fell into darkness.
***Part Four***
Her eyelids peeled open, and she looked up at the ceiling blearily. Upon seeing that it wasn’t the ceiling in her room at Wayne Manor, shock registered in her brain, and she shifted to sit up.
A hand rested on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down as a low voice followed. “Don’t sit up too fast. You’ll make yourself sick.” She looked over to see him sitting there on the edge of the bed; his hand moved from her shoulder to the nightstand beside her. He passed her a warm cup, which she took lightly. “Here. You’re recovering from shock, something warm will help.”
She brought the cup to her lips, and the scent of freshly crushed peppermint leaves wafted up her nose. “Peppermint?”
“Peppermint reduces anxiety and makes you calm.” He nodded to it. “Drink.”
“Don’t be bossy…I’m doing it.” She took a few sips then handed it back to him; he took it from her and set it on the nightstand, then looked at his hands. There was silence around them, then she sat up, scooting closer to him. “It’s really you, isn’t it?” The silence he gave her made her heart wrench, and she reached out, curling her hand in his. “Jason?”
He finally looked at her, and she took in the sight of how clouded his teal eyes were. She rested a hand on his cheek, her thumb caressing under his eye. She stared at him, then whispered, “I don’t understand…how are you alive?”
Jason closed his eyes and shook his head murmuring, “I don’t know (Y/N). I remember everything coming back in the Lazarus Pit…but that’s about it.” She tightened her grip on his hand, feeling his thumb run across the back of hers. “I’ve been waiting for the chance to talk to you…but I didn’t know when to.”
“You could’ve talked to me at the cemetery.”
Jason snorted and glanced at her. “And send you into cardiac arrest where I was buried? No thanks.” (Y/N) felt the corners of her mouth rise and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his; they stared at each other for a few moments, then Jason reached forward and pulled her into his lap, burying his face in her shoulder. Her arms came up and wound around him, threading a hand in his hair.
“I’ve missed you, (Y/N).” he whispered, tightening his grip on her waist.
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you too, Jason. Everyday you’ve been gone.”
They stayed that way for a while, simply holding each other, remembering what they had. (Y/N) pulled away after some time and took his face in her hands, observing him. She could tell how much he’d changed since they last saw each other those five years ago; he’d grown, and not just in his body and facial features. (Y/N) had seen the videos of him fighting; he’d become more skillful at fighting, deadlier too. Whoever trained him after Bruce had honed his senses to a razor-sharp edge. But what stunned her the most were his eyes. When they were younger, his eyes were always bright and full of mirth, always willing to spark some type of trouble…but now? His eyes were dark and cloudy, haunted by his past, a stark contrast from what she remembered.
(Y/N) reached up and twirled a finger in the tuft of white hair at his head. “That’s new.”
He smiled and nodded. “Was like that when I woke up.”
“Jason…what are you doing?”
His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
(Y/N) shifted, pulling herself from his grip and rising to stand in front of him. “You know exactly what I mean.” She gestured to his suit. “This Red Hood business? Fighting Bruce? The war on drugs against Black Mask?” she shook her head like she couldn’t understand any of it—and for the most part, she didn’t. “What are you doing?”
Jason stood from the bed and wandered over to a table, his back to her. “I’m doing what Bruce won’t.”
“And that is?”
His hands shifted to the guns on the table, and he picked up a rag, beginning to clean one. “Controlling crime.”
“You’re not controlling crime, Jason. You’re acting like a mob boss.”
He snorted and glanced over his shoulder. “Maybe, but it’s getting the job done.”
(Y/N) thought her head was going to explode, and she crossed the room to him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around to face her; she glowered at him. “You’re not ‘doing the job’, Jason! You’re killing people!”
He jerked his arm from her grip and leaned in, his voice harsh. “Bad people! I’m putting down dogs that deserve it!”
“It doesn’t matter what they deserve, Jason! It’s murder! We aren’t executioners!”
Jason stood back up to his full height, and she watched his eyes turn to slits as he murmured, “I thought you of all people would understand why I’m doing this.”
(Y/N) thought he’d slapped her with how disappointed he sounded, and her voice turned incredulous. “Are you shitting me right now?” She reached out, her pointer finger jamming into his chest. “Don’t you dare turn this on me.” (Y/N) shook her head. “I left Selina and joined Bruce because I didn’t want to be a criminal anymore. I wanted to be a better person in your memory.” She stared into his eyes and spit, “You know damn well I’d never condone this…not even for you.”
“So, you’re choosing him over me?”
“Oh, don’t even go there, Jason. It’s not like that and you know it. Bruce helped me turn over a new leaf. He’s helped me become who I am.” (Y/N) reached out and took his arm. “Come home, Jason. Bruce and I can help you.”
This time, he gripped the hand that held his arm and he yanked her off. “I don’t need his help. Not when he did this to me.”
“Are you…are you blaming Bruce for this?”
“Of course I am! He left me to die!” The sound of a palm against skin echoed in the room and Jason reached up, holding his throbbing cheek.
(Y/N) glared as she whispered frostily, “He didn’t leave you to die, Jason! He told you to wait until he got back! I will admit that he wasn’t fast enough to save you, but he didn’t do this!” She tugged her hand away from his grip. “You’ve done this all on your own.”
His Adam’s apple bobbe4d as he swallowed, and he huffed a mirthless laugh. “You’ve changed, (Y/N).” He passed by her, muttering as he did. “You act so high and mighty, but you forget that you used to be a criminal too.”
She looked at him through the mirror beside her and she murmured, “I think it’s you who’s changed.” He turned and met her eyes and she added, “My Jason knew the difference between right and wrong.”
Jason flashed her a smile that made her stomach curl and he declared, “I don’t know if you know this, (Y/N)? But your Jason died.”
(Y/N) swallowed thickly and turned around, meeting his gaze. They stared at each other, and she affirmed, “Yes…he has.” Her hand reached up tugged at the silver chain around her neck; she walked past him to the door but stopped beside him. (Y/N) took his hand and placed the necklace in his palm; he looked down at it, then back at her, his eyes widening, and she hissed, “You can take this back. I’d rather die than marry what you’ve become.”
Jason’s hand curled around the ring, and he narrowed his eyes in amusement. “Don’t know if you know this, doll…but dying isn’t all that hard to do.”
(Y/N) glared as she passed him to the door, slamming it on her way out.
***
She wondered aimlessly through the streets, not caring where she was headed. After a few hours, a beeping sounded from her wrist; she raised her wrist and pushed a button on it. “Hello?”
Bruce’s worried voice came over the comm. (Y/N)? Where are you?
She looked around, taking in the view of the bay. “At the docks.”
Stay there. I’m coming to get you.
The call ended and she collapsed onto the bench, staring out at the water. Her hand reached up to hold the ring that hung at her neck but clenched around nothing. (Y/N) glanced down, then remembered where it went; tears filled her eyes and she reached up, covering her eyes as she sobbed.
A few moments later, the sound of the Batmobile pulling up came behind her, and then, a hand rested on her shoulder. She looked up, blinking through the tears to see Bruce frowning at her. “Let’s get back to the cave (Y/N).” She nodded and he helped her stand, walking her to the passenger side; she slid in and buckled the seat belt, staring out the windshield as he climbed in the driver’s seat.
The city passed them in a blur, and soon, they were back in the cave; Bruce turned off the Batmobile and they sat in silence until she whispered, “I know who he is.”
Bruce was quiet a few moments, then he murmured, “…I know as well.”
(Y/N) turned to him. “Ra’s brought him back.”
“It was actually Talia. Ra’s apparently called him a curse set upon the world.”
She huffed a laugh, but it was anything but humorous. “Right about now, I’m not sure whether I should agree with Ra’s or not…I’m inclined to agree with him.”
“How did you find out?”
“I saw him from the ledge I was on. I tailed him to an alley, and when he showed his face, I passed out from the shock.” (Y/N) looked at him. “Woke up and we got into it about what he’s doing…I left.” She paused. “How’d you find out?”
He sighed and reclined against the headrest. “We fought after I found Onyx, he revealed himself and...”
“And?”
“And after testing the coffin and the blood samples he left…it’s him.”
(Y/N) snorted and shook her head. “I could’ve told you that.”
They lapsed into silence, then Bruce murmured, “You aren’t wearing the necklace.” (Y/N) rested a hand along the base of her throat then shifted, climbing out of the Batmobile; Bruce followed her.
They walked a few feet, stopping in front of Jason’s old suit; (Y/N) stared at it, then turned to Bruce. “We made that promise when we were young and naïve…but now?” She turned around and began walking away. “I don’t think there’s a place for him and I in this world anymore. Not like this there isn’t.”
***Part Five***
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
His hands halted at her question but continued a second later. “You being there will only make a distraction.”
“Maybe, but it might also make him give in easier.”
He clicked the utility belt around his waist and looked up at her. “He had his chance to surrender when you two were together, (Y/N). Now I’m putting my foot down.”
She watched him move past her towards the Batmobile, and she reached out, griping his bicep; his eyes met hers and she said, “Call me if it gets bad.”
“It won’t.”
“It will.” (Y/N) squeezed his arm firmly. “And when it happens, you’ll need me to talk to him. We both know I’m the only one who can even begin to reason with him.” He said nothing, and she let go, watching him climb into the Batmobile and speed off.
After a few moments, she walked over to the Batcomputer and sat down, hitting a few keys until the monitor displayed Bruce’s cowl camera; she watched the scenes play in front of her, the mess with Black Mask, up until Bruce leaving to go find Jason.
Footsteps sounded beside her, and she glanced up to see Alfred looking at the screen. “So Master Bruce is going after Master Jason?”
(Y/N) looked back at the screen and nodded. “Yes.”
“Hmm. And you stayed behind?”
She bit her lip, eying the screen. “…It’s not my place to get between them.”
“It’s not?” he almost sounded shocked at her admission.
“No. This is Bruce and Jason’s fight now. It’s dragged on long enough.”
Alfred watched her for a few moments before humming again. “Hmm. And here I thought Master Jason still held privilege in your heart Miss (Y/N). I must admit it is hard to see that you have moved on so soon.” It was all he said as he turned on his heel and crossed the cave floor, leaving (Y/N) with her thoughts.
She stared at the screen for a few seconds, taking in Alfred’s words before mumbling, “Ah fuck it.” She rose from the chair and made her way to the case where her suit was, reaching out and pulling it from its holds; she slipped it on and tightened the straps and belts, moving to her bike.
Alfred stood beside her, holding out her whip. “I do believe this is yours, Miss (Y/N).”
“Make sure to keep in radio contact with us…we might need you Alfie.” He nodded and saw her off.
***
(Y/N) arrived in the nick of time, seeing Jason and Bruce moving into fighting stances. She pulled out her grapple and swung up to the fire-escape, standing between them; they were shocked to see her there. “(Y/N)?”
She eyed Jason and squared her shoulders, her back to Bruce. “Enough Jason.”
He stood up straight and glowered at her. “Move (Y/N).”
“No.” she retorted; she wasn’t afraid of him. This was still her Jason. A little worn and little darker, and a lot more damaged, but still him. Still good.
“This doesn’t concern you. This is between me and him.”
(Y/N) shook her head and pointed between them. “This concerns me just as much as it concerns you, Jason.”
His response was cut off by Bruce who gripped her arm firmly. “You need to leave (Y/N).”
“I’m not going anywhere Bruce.” She looked between them. “I’m stopping this before it goes too far. Let this end so we can talk.”
Bruce squeezed her arm, his voice hardening. “Your place isn’t here right now, (Y/N).”
She gazed at him for a few moments, before jerking her arm back, this time turning her back to Jason, as if protecting him. “This is my place, Bruce. Right here. Between you,” She paused and glanced over her shoulder, catching Jason’s eyes. “And Jason.” His eyes widened ever-so-slightly, and she turned back to Bruce. “Fighting isn’t going to solve our problems. We’re all suffering from what happened in the past and what’s happening now. Stop this so we can help each other.”
Bruce went silent at her mini-speech, and she thought he was going to agree until he shook his head. “Jason plans on killing Joker…I’m stopping him tonight.”
Jason barked a laugh. “You can try and stop me.” The two of them shifted but stopped when the sound of a devastating explosion rocked the city, and an angry green light covered them; they all turned to the sight and Jason murmured, “That’s Blüdhaven.”
(Y/N) and Bruce’s eyes widened, and they both breathed in disbelief. “Dick?”
Jason chuckled at them. “My God…is Nightwing there? Imagine that. One son returns from the grave as another one enters it…what a fitting ending this has become.” Neither Bruce nor (Y/N) could form words as they watched in horror as the sister-city disintegrated before their eyes. “Good God, the ironies around. Here we are and you have to run to the site of an explosion to dig through the wreckage and find the body of your ‘Boy Sidekick.’ If he’s there, Bruce…you’re too late. Again.” Bruce shifted, starting towards Blüdhaven when a blast knocked him sideways. “No! You’re not leaving! Not now! Not this time!”
Bruce looked back at Jason, his voice and gaze pleading. “Jason. Please. I—”
Jason cut him off, his voice angry. “What! You ‘have to be sure?!’ Getting out of that alive would be one neat trick. It’d take a hell of a lot more than batarangs and a few escrima sticks to survive.” He paused, a smile playing at his lips. “If Ol’ Dickie is there. He’s dead. And if you leave…someone else dies tonight.”
(Y/N) shook herself out of her stupor and put a finger to her ear. “Alfred! Can you read me?”
“Yes Miss (Y/N). What’s wrong?”
“A nuclear bomb was just set off in Blüdhaven.”
“My God…Master Dick—”
“Send the Batplane to my location.”
She felt an arm curl around her bicep, and she glanced up at Bruce. “(Y/N) the Batplane wasn’t made to withstand such high levels of radiation. You’ll die if you’re exposed too much.”
Pulling her arm from his grasp, she began walking towards the ledge. “Alfred send the Batplane. Now.” She heard Alfred give her confirmation that it was on its way, and she turned to Bruce. “I’ll go find Dick…you end this here. Tonight.” Her eyes passed over Jason who wore a dark expression and the sound of the Batplane echoed in the sky.
She climbed in and spared them one last look before turning the Batplane away and flying towards Blüdhaven. She pushed buttons on the screen and talked to Alfred. “Alfred, scan for the tracker in Dick’s suit.”
“At once Miss (Y/N).” There was silence for a few moments then he came back over the comm. “I’ve got a location Miss (Y/N). But it isn’t the exact. Too much radiation interfering with the radar.”
“I’ll find him Alfred. Just upload his suit vitals into the system.” The sound of tapping came over and then a blinking line shot across the screen. “Alfred, how insulated is my suit to radiation?”
“As best as it can, be Miss (Y/N). Though with the lower half of your face exposed, you’re risking high exposure to the radiation, you’d be overcome with radiation sickness within the hour.”
“Does Bruce have any type of mask I can wear?”
“Check the bin beside you. There might be one.”
(Y/N) pressed a button, halting the Batplane and reached over, searching the bin; she pulled out a mask and fit it around her face, pushing the button on the side that sealed it. “Alright. I’m good.”
“Master Dick is in the outskirts of the city. Hurry Miss (Y/N)…too much exposure will kill him.”
(Y/N) disengaged the lock and began scanning the perimeter of the city for him. It took her about thirty minutes to find him, and when she did, she saw the radiation already beginning to affect him; she lowered the Batplane to the ground and ran out, crossing the street laden with debris until she got to him.
“Dick!” He turned in the direction of her voice, but she could tell he was disoriented; he staggered towards her, falling to his knees just as she reached him. (Y/N) caught his upper body before he fell over and she wrapped an arm under his and across his back, heaving him to his feet. “It’s alright, Dick. I’ve got you.”
He moaned trying to find his feet, and she began pulling him towards the Batplane. “Need…to check…for survivors.”
(Y/N) shook her head at him, heaving him closer. “We can’t do anything right now, Dick. We need to get out of here.”
“But…the survivors—”
“Dick. We can’t save them. I have to get you out of here before the radiation makes you sicker.” He relented his fight and allowed her to carry him to the plane; (Y/N) got him into a seat and strapped in, handing him a bag. “You’ll probably be sick for a while, so try to throw up in the bag.” He nodded weakly and she sat in the seat, then the Batplane rose and made its way back to Gotham. “Alfred, I’ve got Dick. Get some KI ready for him to take when we get back to the cave.”
“Shall I update Master Bruce?”
“Just tell him I got Dick and that he’s okay.”
“I will. Hurry back.”
“Will do.” The comm went silent and she glanced over her shoulder at Dick. “Dickie? You good?”
He was moaning lowly, but moved a few fingers, telling her he was. “…Where’s…Bruce?”
She felt her heart tighten, but she pushed it aside. “Fighting Red Hood.”
“Alone?”
“Yes.”
“You…should’ve….stayed.”
“Stop talking Dick.”
“…M’kay.”
***
The rest of the ride was silent, and when she returned to the cave, Alfred was waiting for her with a gurney. They got Dick on it and wheeled him to the med-room in the cave; they rolled him onto the bed and (Y/N) gripped the zipper at his neck, pulling it down. Alfred helped her pull his suit off, and soon, Dick was asleep in the bed, the two of them resting in the chairs beside him.
“How did you find Master Dick?”
(Y/N) watched Dick’s chest rise and fall with each breath and she murmured, “Dick’s always put the safety of others above himself.” She glanced at Alfred. “I knew he’d try to help survivors in the area.” She rose from the seat and rested a hand on Alfred’s shoulder. “I need to go find Bruce. You look after Dick.”
He nodded and she left the cave, climbing back into the Batplane and taking off.
***
She scoured the city until she caught Bruce’s signal; she tapped a few buttons, connecting into the comm. “Bruce?”
(Y/N). Is Dick—
“He’s fine, Bruce. I got him back to the cave.”
There was a pause, then Bruce’s voice came over relived. Good.
“Where are you?”
Delivering Joker to the Asylum.
“And Jason?”
Gone.
She paused, inhaling shakily before murmuring, “I’ll find him…you go back to the cave and see Dick.”
Are you sure?
“I need to do this Bruce. Let me.”
Be careful, (Y/N).
“Jason would never hurt me, Bruce. You don’t have to worry about me.”
…I always worry about you all.
The corners of her mouth rose, and she quipped, “Yeah, we know.” The comm went dead and she turned the Batplane in the direction of Jason’s apartment. She landed on the opposite roof and swung over, lifting a window, and slipping in.
(Y/N) crept across the floor, taking in the view of the small blood puddles on the ground. She followed them into the bedroom and saw him resting on the bed, a blood-soaked towel held to his neck; he was sweating and letting out low groans. (Y/N) walked towards him and reached out, her hand covering the one that held the towel.
His eyes snapped open at the touch and his other hand came up defensively; she caught it and his eyes widened at the sight of her. “…(Y/N)?”
She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, pressing the towel harder to him. “Where’s your first-aid kit?”
He nodded towards the bathroom. “Under…the sink.”
(Y/N) nodded and rose, moving into the bathroom; she returned a few minutes later holding the kit and a bottle of alcohol. She took her seat back on the bed and moved his hand, pulling the towel from its position; she worked quickly, running the alcohol over it, and murmuring a soft “sorry” as he hissed in pain. (Y/N) dabbed the wound before pulling a needle and thread, suturing his wound.
After a few minutes, she pulled the knot and clipped the leftover string, running a pad of alcohol over it once more. She put everything away and found some washcloths, dampening one; then, she moved back to him and wiped away the sweat from his upper body before running the dry one over him, collecting the moisture.
(Y/N) could feel his gaze on her the entire time, but she refused to make eye-contact, instead murmuring, “Feel any better?”
He was silent a few moments, then he mumbled, “…Yeah.”
(Y/N) wiped her hands on the towel and rested them on the nightstand; she cleared her throat and moved to stand. “Then since you’re fine, I’ll leave.” She got to her feet when a hand curled around her fingers, and she looked down at him.
His eyes no longer held the fury they’d held earlier, instead, they begged for help. “Stay with me, (Y/N).”
She swallowed and shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to stay here, Jason.” She started to pull away, but the hand tightened.
“Please don’t leave me, (Y/N).” he plead, and she met his eyes, shocked to see tears forming in them. “Please don’t leave me alone again.”
“Jason, I—”
“I need you…please.”
She stared at him for a few moments before nodding. “…Okay…I’ll stay.” (Y/N) moved, climbing onto the bed beside him; she rested her head on his chest, feeling his arm curl around her waist. “…You know he loves you…don’t you?” Jason didn’t say anything, she knew he wasn’t going to immediately, so she did. “There isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about you…that he doesn’t think about how he failed you…that he was responsible for you.” She paused. “You claim he loved you like a son and left you…”
(Y/N) inhaled and lifted her head, locking eyes with him and she declared, “But you were—you are his son, Jason. And he loves you more than life itself.”
He swallowed thickly, and she watched him raise his hand to his eyes; his face morphed in agony and (Y/N) listened as he sobbed. She shifted, crawling up the bed and pulling him to her; his face buried in her chest and his arms wound around her waist, holding her. She raised a hand and gently ran her fingers through his hair, comforting him.
***
After an hour or so, they were still lying in the bed, Jason resting his weight on (Y/N) as she sat against the headboard. Her fingers still ran through his hair, sometimes lightly scratching his scalp, like she remembered he loved, and her other hand rested on his shoulder, gently massaging. They said nothing, just entranced in each other, until Jason broke it, whispering, “…I’m sorry, (Y/N).”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I am too, Jason.”
He tilted his head up, giving her a stunned look. “For what?”
“I turned my back on you…when I should’ve been there to help you.” She paused, looking at him. “I was wrong to damn you without trying to understand what you were doing, and why.”
He swallowed, nodding his head to her words; his gaze drifted to her eyes, and he mumbled, “I never meant to disappoint you.”
(Y/N) stared into his teal eyes, and raised a hand, gently brushing the hair away from the tips of his cheekbones, setting it behind his ear. “Neither did I.”
Jason swallowed and raised his weight on his forearms, crawling up her body. “I never wanted to be at odds with you...I wanted to explain everything to you…but I was scared of your reaction.” His face was in front of hers now.
She sighed, nodding, “I know.”
He went quiet for a moment, then reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing along it. “I still love you…and I want you beside me.” (Y/N) met his eyes, watching as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “Will you come with me?”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Everywhere. Somewhere far away from Gotham.” He paused, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Come with me, (Y/N)…we can go anywhere we want.” Her hands came up and rested along his shoulders, gently pushing him away. His face twisted and he sat back, watching her rise too.
(Y/N) took his hands, brushing her thumbs along the backs of them; she met his gaze and she spoke firmly. “I’ll go with you.” His eyes widened and his face began to turn joyful until she said, “But you have to do something for me.”
“What?”
“A lot of the unnecessary killing has to stop.” His eyebrows furrowed and she squeezed his hands. “If you want me to come with you? To stay with you and to be with you? You’ve got to try.” (Y/N) pulled her hands back and sat up straight. “Jason, I know you do what you do because you think it’s right. And while I understand that there are some people who don’t deserve to breathe? They’re still human beings. Rapists and murderers, I can get behind your guns. But the petty drug dealers and small-time criminals? Jason, they aren’t worth the bullets you’d spend.”
He observed her for a few moments before reaching past her, opening the nightstand, and pulling something out; his hand was clenched and he spoke quietly, “When I first gave this to you, we were fifteen…we had our whole lives ahead of us. And when I was gone, you never stopped holding on.” He looked at her and said, “That kind of love isn’t something that just dies, (Y/N).”
His hand uncurled and the saw the familiar ring in his open palm. “When you gave this back to me…I was devastated. But…I think it started to open my eyes about us. And I think as long as you’re with me, I can get through anything.” He held out his palm again. “If I ask you again, will you accept?”
“Will try to honor my side of the arrangement?”
“I’ll…try to...I can’t make a promise to it though.”
(Y/N) nodded. “The fact that you’ll try is good enough for me.”
He took her hand and held the ring. “(Y/N) (L/N)…will you marry me?” Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded silently, too choked up to make words; Jason slid the ring on her finger and held her hand, his thumb rubbing the back of it. (Y/N) leaned forward and Jason pulled her into his lap, holding her to him. “I love you, (Y/N).”
“I love you too, Jason.” she whispered against his shoulder.
After a few minutes, she mumbled against his shoulder; Jason chuckled. “(Y/N), I can’t hear you clearly.”
She pulled back, giving him a smile. “I want to get married in Switzerland.”
“Why Switzerland?”
“So, I can shove you into the snow after you kiss me.” The two of them laughed and Jason shifted, wrapping an arm around her waist; her arms wound around his neck, and he gently lowered her back against the bed. They stared at each other until (Y/N)’s eyes darted to the side. “So…are you going to kiss me? Or are you gonna keep staring at me like a weirdo?”
He snorted at her question and shifted a hand, tracing her cheek. “Just thinking about how pretty you are, doll.”
(Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “When did you start calling people doll?”
“Kinda just caught on.” He shrugged.
“Mhm.”
The two of them laughed again, then Jason admitted, “I don’t know if I can be the man you deserve, (Y/N).”
She shook her head, threading her fingers in his hair as she said, “You are already more than enough for me, Jason…if anything, I’m not sure if I’m the one who’s deserving of you.”
“Will you stay with me?”
(Y/N) leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips, and whispered, “Now and forever.”
379 notes · View notes
absolutebl · 3 years
Text
This Week in BL
April 2021 Part 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 
Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 
Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 
Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 
Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  
Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 
1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  
HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 
-- H4 Moment of RANT --
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Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 
I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 
Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.
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-- RANT ended --
Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 
Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 
We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 
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Stand Alones 
Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 
Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 
Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 
The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 
Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 
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Breaking News 
Spring Line Up:
Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 
Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 
2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.
Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.
I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV
Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 
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Gossip 
Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 
Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 
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New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 
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Next Week Looks Like This:
Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 
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Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
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201 notes · View notes
teklarn · 3 years
Text
𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 (𝓅𝓉. 𝟥)
character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader (x eijirou kirishima) 
a/n: ok but like ty for all the notes on my last post??? i get so excited whenever there’s a new notification. ALSO, the best time for me to accept requests is from now to sept. 5! i’m currently on summer break, so i will have plenty of time to write from now until then. 
𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕!!
summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 
genre: angst
warnings: mutual pining, cursing, aged-up to third years, bit of a love triangle, romantic tension, one-sided pining, i gave the reader a quirk, kirishima gets jealous EHWJEH
word count: 2031
lol wow things are finally beginning to pick up heehee
please excuse any typos! i edit to the best of my abilities, but it’s easy to miss lost of things 
part 1, part 2 , part 4 
- - - 
you dabbed bakugou’s nose. he winced as you tapped it. “sorry,” you breathed out, switching the tissue in your hand for a clean wipe. 
“i’m fine, dumbass.” 
“then why’d you ask for my help?” you teased, wiping at the blood on his upper lip. 
his cheeks dusted with red, eyes averting to the side. you smiled softly, victorious in his silence. 
nighttime was settling in nicely, the sun bleeding orange into the clouds. 
“look back at me,” you said. gently, you took his bruised jaw in your fingers, adjusting his head so he was facing you. you brushed your fingers along his swelling cheekbone. purple blossomed beneath bakugou’s pale skin. “kirishima was pretty rough out there, huh?’ 
“i’m proud of the guy.” 
you smiled, tilting your head. “you? proud of someone? really?” 
he chuckled. “knock it off, dumbass.” a grin spread across his face, however it was gone when the pain hit. he winced, trying to ignore the sting his smile brought with it. 
you let out a laugh. “just relax, bakugou.” you resumed dabbing away at the excess blood on his face. there were flecks of dirt scattered over his forehead. 
he caught your wrist in one of his soft, large hands. 
your smile faded, and you swallowed, pushing down the rising emotions fluttering into your chest. “yes?” you responded to the silent question his eyes were asking. 
his grip on your wrist loosened, and he let go, letting his arm fall back to his side. 
“everything okay?” 
he didn’t break eye contact as he grunted a reply. “mhm.” 
“alright. i’ll be right back, okay?” 
“‘kay,” he said. 
you stood with a groan, knees sore from all the training you’d been doing lately. you gently shut the bathroom door behind you and rinsed the bits of dirt off the towel, scrubbing away any imperfections stuck between the fibers of the fabric. 
your cheeks were boiling with heat as the ghost of his touch on your wrist lingered. what was that? did he mean to tell you something? 
you wrung out the newly washed cloth and returned to your seat across from bakugou. 
bakugou’s eyes flickered as you began scrubbing the dirk from his forehead. 
“ah,” he gasped out. 
“you’ve gotta stop wincing, bakugou,” you teased. “you’re making me think i’m doing something wrong.” 
“you’ve gotta stop being so rough, y/n.” he took your wrists and pried them away from his face. 
you set the towel down on the table, letting it rest on a paper towel so the excess water could drain out. 
“well, i think the issue is that you haven’t let me set your nose properly.” 
bakugou squinted, unsure. “alright.” he spread his legs, leaning forwards to make your job easier. “do as you wish, y/n.” his voice dropped, eyelids lowering seductively. 
the heat returned to your cheeks, flushing out your confidence from before. instead of replying with an equally snarky comment, you took his face in your hands. “this is going to hurt.” 
“not so much if it’s you.” 
you scoffed. “are you flirting with me, katsuki bakugou?” 
his lips quirked up—just a tiny bit. “stop dreaming, y/n.” 
you ignored the comment and traced your fingers over the bridge of his nose. “on three?” 
he nodded. 
“one—” you cracked the bone into place. 
“ah, shit!” bakugou recoiled back, covering his nose with his hands. “damn brat.” 
“it would have hurt more if you knew it was coming.” you shrugged innocently. 
“at least i would have been prepared.” 
“whatever you say.” you gestured for him to come back to his previous position, and bakugou did as instructed, hands dropping from his face as your hands came back around to cup his cheeks. 
being recovery girl’s grandchild had its benefits. for example, an easy way to get into yuuei off of recommendations. while your quirk wasn’t usually one people would associate with fighting, it came with unexpected pros with how it developed. 
you’d earned the ability not only to heal but to ruin as well. using your quirk, honing it properly, you could twist someone inside out with ease, however, healing was something you were more skilled with. 
a green glow was being emitted from your palms, white orbs flowing into the air and landing on bakugou’s skin. you could tell, under his skin, the bone was fixing itself, beginning to reshape into the flat bridge. 
bakugou sniffed. 
“hold still,” you said. 
“does your healing always make your patients itchy?” 
“it’s just your body healing. stop moving.” the green light receded into your palms. 
you met bakugou’s eyes as you pulled your hands away. you were leaning closer than necessary, out of your seat, knees slightly bent. you could tell his hands were shaking just a bit as they trailed down your arms, starting from your fingertips which were still hovering around his face. 
his hands found their way to your waist. bakugou tugged you closer. barely an inch closer, but it felt like the two of you were inseparable at the moment. 
“y/n?” 
you jumped, and bakugou’s hands fell back to the sides of the seat he was in. you swallowed as kirishima popped up at the doorway. 
you wiped your palms on your shirt, nodding for kirishima to enter. “yes?” 
the redhead walked in warily, hands up and pace slow. “i hope i’m not...interrupting anything. am i?” 
you shook your head. “not at all. we were, um. we were just finishing up.” you picked up the cloth intended for wiping bakugou’s face. “do you think you could finish up by yourself?” 
he took the cloth from your hands. “yeah, sure.” he pushed himself up and was out of your room, waving his thanks. “i’ll pay you back so i don’t owe your ass, got it, y/n?” 
“Alright.” 
bakugou shut the door behind him, leaving you and kirishima alone. 
“so, what was that about?” 
your eyes flew wide. “what was what?” 
“don’t act oblivious, y/n. you two looked at each other like you hung the moon in the sky.” 
you bit your lip, hiding the smile that was brought about upon reminiscing about the recent seen. “it wasn’t anything, kirishima. don’t worry about it.”
“i’m worrying. you know bakugou.” 
“that’s something you’d say about someone with dating experience, and a bad reputation regarding it. bakugou is—” 
“just like every other guy out there? it’s the twenty-first century. there are not many decent people left out here. do you really think he’s any different?” 
“well,” you said, shaking your head, “personally, i see he’s changed.” 
“two years isn’t going to erase all the past shit he’s done.” 
“there’s a thing called forgiveness.” you quirked an eyebrow at him, tilting your head down as you began cleaning up. “plus, it wasn’t necessarily his fault. we can both agree that hero society created toxic standards for all aspiring pros.” 
kirishima clenched his fists. “he’s bad for you.” 
you tossed out a few wipes into the garbage. “sorry?” 
“he’s...not good for you.” 
“i appreciate you thinking nobody is good enough for me, but at the end of the day-” 
unknowingly, kirishima was hardening his fingertips. his nails punctured the soft skin of his palms. “i don’t mean he’s not good enough for you, but that’s another truth, too. he’s just not good for you.” 
you turned, smiling brightly. “and since when did you know what was good for me?” you laughed, eyes closed. “why are you trying to dictate my decisions-” 
when you opened your eyes, you found kirishima standing closer, brows furrowed angrily.
your expression lowered into something angry. “what’s the matter?” 
“i just...i can’t.” 
“can’t what?” 
kirishima was one to be slow to anger. he always had been. you can’t recall a time you saw him angry or pissed except for when bakugou had been kidnapped by the league of villains. 
“kirishima,” you scoffed, “are you genuinely pissed over this? what? is this because i got mad at you because i scolded you for breaking bakugou’s nose? if anything, i don’t think i was wrong for-” 
“that’s not it. that...that isn’t it, y/n.” he stepped towards you. kirishima closed the gap between you both, pressing your back against the wall, trapping you there between his arms. “that isn’t it at all, y/n.” 
you swallowed. “then what is it, kirishima?” his eyes met yours, serious and stern. 
your chest tingled. 
he brought his fingers to your chin, angling your face with ease to get a better look at you. “call me eijirou.” 
“what?” 
“just once. please.” 
“why-” 
“once.”
“...what is it, eijirou?” 
the pause felt like an eternity. “it’s you, y/n.” 
“it’s...me? what about me? did i do something wrong?” 
he chuckled softly, but there was no humor in his longing smile as he stared down. “you’re so oblivious.” 
you could hear his heart beating, getting faster with every sentence he pushed out. 
“you’re so clueless, y/n. it’s kind of pissing me off.” 
“what am i doing to piss you off?” you snapped. 
he tongued the inside of his cheek. “like i said.” he flashed you an award-winning grin. “clueless.” kirishima pushed himself off the wall and left the room, the door shutting hard, but not slamming shut. 
you were left breathless, the hint of his cologne still lingering in the space before you. 
you’d avoided kirishima and bakugou for the rest of the night. 
what kirishima had wanted to say was nothing like what he said, but he knew everything would come out all wrong if he’d try to say anything. 
his mind would have jumbled all his words, and he’d look like a crazy, insane lover. 
bakugou wasn’t bad for you. not at all. you two were perfect for each other. you both had thick skin for silly rebuttals towards one another. you brought out the fun side of the blonde, and he worked you to your best. 
kirishima was just your best friend. he hated to be the one who had fallen with nothing to soften the blow that was surely coming soon. 
his ears burned nearly as red as his hair. a shudder passed down his back, the feeling of your jaw pressed between his thumb and index finger still imprinted there. 
“i can’t fucking stand to see you around him.” 
kirishima made his way to the common room, finding bakugou looking for snacks there. kirishima scoffed as his friend emerged with an apple in hand. 
it was not like he hated bakugou. not at all. he didn’t think that pining for the same girl would ruin their friendship. he was just angry that you chose him. 
kirishima respected your decisions. he wouldn’t ever try to get in the way of anything if you and bakugou made that kind of decision. he just wanted to be near you. 
perhaps he should leave the situation alone. leave you alone and just forget about how his feelings were nagging at him every day. 
he should forget how you were the first thing on his mind every morning, and the thing he thought about when he fell asleep. 
you were everywhere. should he forget that too? 
bakugou tossed his apple into the air. he clapped his friend on the back, taking a bite out. “go to sleep, idiot.” 
“don’t call me that.” 
bakugou turned, startled that kirishima wasn’t taking bakugou’s shit today. “you good?” 
“i’m fine, but i’m not an idiot.” 
bakugou’s body tightened. “alright.” 
the pair stood awkwardly for a moment before kirishima sucked in a sudden breath. “what is y/n to you?” he asked. 
bakugou raised an eyebrow. “what?” 
“they’re obviously something to you.” 
“listen, they were just helping me out. didn’t think you’d get offended from them fixing my broken ass nose.” 
“that’s not what i mean. i walked in on you two, and you were about to—” 
“i wasn’t going to do jackshit.” bakugou tossed his apple away, too angry to eat anything anymore. 
“yes. don’t lie to me.” 
“i’m not lying. where is all of this coming from?” 
kirishima huffed out a frustrated breath. he shouldered past bakugou. kirishima uttered words he hated himself for saying. “leave me alone.”
- - -
tag(s): if u want to be tagged in any continued fic of mine, pls let me know! i don’t have a taglist, but please @ me and ask to be on the taglist! thank u <33 
@heizenka 
@insomniac-nerd-posts-things
147 notes · View notes
makeste · 4 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet
Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.
so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk
anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are
OH NO HE’S CUTE
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HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD
“thanks for being all right” the fuck
who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this
how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here
guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready
anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY
LMAOOOOO
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listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things
anyways!!
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FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw
STOP BEING CUTE
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THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES
and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT
OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.
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BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE
YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY
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I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code
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:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you
FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION
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but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji
so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you
oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck
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actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance
OH MY GOD
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NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE
WOW DABI
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I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM
LOL NEVERMIND
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gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped
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(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)
HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE
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WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT
btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun
OOF
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excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE
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ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??
AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???
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and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it
are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??
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that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!
anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights
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I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol
so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...
OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH
Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON
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NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”
EXCUSE ME WHAT
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interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!
looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now
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you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols
anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top
and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way
anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”
omfg. YOU GUYS
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DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD
ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM
BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE
IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS
HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO
LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!
so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”
OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD
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ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE
AHHHHH
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OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH
lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto
-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --
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BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC
y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...
  °˖✧◝( ̄▿ ̄)◜✧˖°
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miceenscene · 3 years
Text
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'tis the damn season
frankie/reader | childhood friends to lovers | pre-canon
wc: 1.8k/2.5k
summary: At one point in your lives, you knew Frankie better than anyone else on earth. When did that change?
warnings: none
an: don't let anyone tell you that second person doesn't work from another character's perspective, least of all yourself while editing
Masterpost | ao3
Chapter 2: Who am I Related to?
December 8, 2012 18:57
Hudson’s was a shitty bar just up highway 210 outside of Fort Bragg, the nearest watering hole to the base as the crow flies.
As a result, it served pretty damn near exclusively military personnel. When it changed ownership about four years back, the new management decided to reflect that and so the place looked like the Fourth of July and Top Gun had thrown up on it. Never mind that Fort Bragg was an Army base. Still, they had cheap booze and greasy food that was far better than the commissary, so it was always busy.
Pope had texted the usual suspects a few hours ago that he was heading to Hudson’s that evening, making Frankie immediately ditch his plans of drinking alone for drinking with Pope and whoever else showed up. Most likely just Benny and Ironhead now that Redfly had semi-retired down to Florida. It was a short drive to the bar from the dorms on base, but it was enough to make Frankie groan and press hands to his lower back as he got out of his car and made his way inside.
Pope was sitting at the bar and didn’t look up from texting on his phone as Frankie gingerly eased into the stool next to him.
“Hey, Fish,” Pope said, rereading the email.
“Hey.” At the bartender’s attention, Frankie pointed to Pope’s beer before daring a slight back stretch.
Pope sent his email and then looked over. “You alright?”
“Yeah, just finished PT.”
He chuckled once. “Back still fucked?”
“More tired than fucked anymore,” Frankie managed, shaking his head and wincing. The bartender delivered his beer, and Frankie took a swig. “When did we get old?”
“¿De qué estás hablando ‘nosotros’, viejo?”
Frankie jabbed an elbow and grinned slightly down at his next swig. “Culero.”
“Hey, before everyone gets here–” Pope looked at him, an oddly serious expression on his face for their usual bar. “I found out today you haven’t re-enlisted yet.”
Frankie immediately dropped his gaze to the suddenly very interesting glass in his hand. “Ah, no. No, I haven’t.”
“I’m trying to pull strings to get Benny into our unit full-time. I think he’d fit well with the team. Then Simmons tells me you haven’t signed your new papers yet. So what’s up?”
Frankie glanced over to see Pope still focused on him. “Nothing, nothing. I… I’m still thinking about it.”
He chuckled. “What’s there to think about?”
“We all want out someday, right? If we’re lucky enough to choose when we leave.”
“Yeah, but there’s thinking and thinking.” Pope smacked his shoulder. “What – are you gonna become a real estate agent like Redfly?”
No. Definitely not. Even just the idea of shilling condos was enough to make Frankie’s eyes glaze over. But still–
“Real estate agents make more money than we do.”
Pope made a considering face for a moment then brushed it off. “Yeah, but you’d miss it. You’re like me. We like the rush.”
Frankie nodded slightly. This is why he was still just thinking about it. It wasn’t a small thing to walk away from fourteen years with the Army. Especially since everyone knew the retirement benefits were absolute shit until you hit twenty. But he could already tell, he didn’t have another six years in him. He wasn’t even sure he had another deployment.
“You know the deadline’s New Year’s, right?” Pope said, cutting through his thoughts.
“Yeah, I know. I have some leave I have to take before the year’s out anyway.”
Pope nodded. “Good. Clear your head, get some perspective. See how fucking boring civvy life is, and then come back Jan 2 and join my team.”
Frankie smiled wryly; Pope always could make anything sound easy. “Something like that.”
“You have holiday plans then?” he asked, leaning an elbow on the bar.
Frankie sucked in breath. “I guess I’ll go back to my parents’. My mom’s been wanting me to visit for a while now.”
“How long’s it been?”
“I saw them in DC last summer, but I haven’t been back home… since I joined Delta.”
“Remind me where they’re at.”
“Up north. Little town in the middle of nowhere. Still in the same house I grew up in.” He could picture the wreath on the door, the twinkling lights his dad always strung across the front fence every December. A matching set used to be hung on the fence exactly opposite across the street. Who lived there now, he wondered. Would they put the tree in the front window too?
“Soldier coming home for Christmas. Sounds like a Hallmark movie.”
“Fuck you,” Frankie replied as the others finally arrived.
--
Frankie got his answer as he ducked out the front door of his parent’s house about a week later. His breath immediately fogged as he sucked in a few calming breaths of night air, the pressure in his head slowly levelling. Out in the still darkness, the noise level coming from the living room was finally manageable. Inside, with all of his cousins and his aunts and uncles and the music and everyone talking over each other and the heater set far too high for the number of people inside– he… he just needed a break.
Seven hours was a decent stint for his first day. He’d be around longer tomorrow. Wading in. That was the key. Because he was now the kind of person that had to treat time with his family like running a marathon. Apparently.
He walked down to the twinkling front fence, making a mental note to shovel the front walk tomorrow, and stopped. The house across the street – your house, as it would forever be in his mind – was completely dark. A small sign posted in the front yard announced some sort of home refurbishment company was going to be arriving soon. No doubt they would come in, strip away wallpaper and old tile and heart to paint it all beige and granite for the quick resell.
He hadn’t had the heart to ask his mother yet how long the house hadn’t belonged to your family. No need for another reminder of how much time had passed, how much he’d missed. He had more than enough already.
The front door opened behind him, casting a temporary warm glow across the dark snow, and his dad stepped out, pipe in hand. He meandered down the front steps to join Frankie at the gate, puffing a few times before speaking.
He shook his head. “It’d break his heart to see it so empty, but I understand why she sold,” he said, looking at the forlorn house with him.
“How long ago?” Frankie asked.
“Few months. Not too long after the funeral.” Dad looked his way for a moment. “I’ll give it ten minutes before I tell your mother you left.”
“I… thanks,” he replied weakly.
“Will you be back tomorrow?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back.”
Dad nodded slowly, leaving just the pipe smoke wafting between them for a minute. “Take it slow, no need to rush.”
“Thanks.” He stepped through the gate, fishing in his pocket for his car keys.
“Francisco,” he said, making Frankie stop and look at him. “We’re glad you’re back.”
Frankie just nodded and went to his car. Even though he couldn’t bear another minute in the noisy press of his loved ones, the idea of going back to his lonely hotel room was truly abysmal. So after some finagling with the ignition, he started the engine and headed to the one bar he’d ever been to in his hometown.
--
There were Christmas lights in the window and a dancing Santa on the bar as Frankie walked in. Some sort of forcibly cheery holiday classic played over the speakers tucked between quirky memorabilia that hung over every square inch of wall space. And even though public smoking had been outlawed by the state well over a decade ago, cigarette stench had sunk into the very foundation of the place.
It was nothing like Frankie remembered. But it would do.
Eyes automatically sweeping across the moderately busy room for a Thursday night, he headed for a stool at the far end of the bar, ordering a beer when the bartender came by. It was just one step up from swill, but comfortably numbing in its mediocrity. He looked across the room again, checking for familiar faces this time and finding none. No surprise there. A decade was a long time, and really he hadn’t been around too much for the years before that too.
There were couples on dates here, friend groups, some sort of girls’ night happening in the corner, a few loners like him hovering at the bar. Most everyone was smiling, talking, laughing so hard their whole bodies shook. A whole world of Normal. And Frankie was a tourist.
Pope was right. He couldn’t go back to this. He couldn’t make it through one whole day with blood relatives anymore. What was he thinking? That he could just settle into a normal life like the last decade of his work was nothing? Get a 9-to-5 and a mortgage and a girl – not that he’d ever had too much luck in that department. Especially when there was one girl that eclipsed all others, and he didn’t even know her phone number any more.
The door opened, making the Santa on the bar dance, and every thought in Frankie’s head immediately stopped. His eyes drew wide as he stared, jaw barely restrained from slapping against his chest. Was it really – course it was, there wasn’t anyone else it could be. A whole century could pass, and he’d still know that face.
It was you.
Live, in the flesh you. Cheeks pinked from the wind, haloed by the street lights outside, wrapped in a truly astonishing number of woolen layers. Not a half-remembered fantasy, but Real and breathing and even more beautiful than his memory had claimed.
He watched you shake a few flurries out of your hair and stomp the excess snow off your boots, shutting the door behind you as you waved to the bartender. Your gaze swung across the bar, completely skimming past him, and landed on the girls’ night in the corner. You smiled. He stared.
You began to head over to the people you were obviously here to meet. On nothing but pure instinct, he immediately got out of his stool and followed you. Falling into step behind you, he stretched a hand forward to hook a few fingers inside your elbow.
You looked back at him, and for a heart-breaking breath there was no recognition in your eyes.
Till he gave you a half-smile and said, “Hey Bo.”
You blinked, mouth dropping open. “Frankie?” you asked.
He nodded.
Your astonishment ballooned so wide it froze your whole face solid for a moment. Then you laughed, out of far more shock than amusement, and gave him a smile all his own. “Oh my god!! You’re here!”
You immediately wrapped him in a hug. And though it took him a moment to return it, for the first time in ten whole years, he was home.
Chapter 3: Not my Homeland Anymore
taglist: @kelenloth ; @darnitdraco ; @gracie7209 ; @616wilsons ; @icanbeyourjedi ; @astroboots ;
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buckys-other-punk · 3 years
Text
Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader
Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?
Word Count: 3.6K
Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all
A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅
A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.
[Y/B/N = your blog name]
As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3
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Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick. 
After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.
*across town*
“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.
“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.
“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.
“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.
“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.
“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.
“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.
“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.
“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.
“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.
“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.
“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.
“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.
“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.
“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”
“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend. 
“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.
“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’ 
“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.
“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.
“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.
“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.
“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.
“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony. 
“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.
*later that evening*
After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.
*one week later*
Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.
Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!
Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.
Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.
Seb: okay okay I will
Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am
Seb: fine
Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.
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(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)
Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!
Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...
Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you
Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do
Seb: whatever I’ll let you go
Mackie: alright. bye lover boy 
Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.
*the next morning/later that day*
Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”
Y/N’s POV
You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.
sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)
You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.
y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)
Sebastian’s POV
Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.
sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.
y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.
sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.
y/b/n: thank you Carter <3
sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?
y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US
sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)
*a couple weeks later*
You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. 
y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend. 
sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?
y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!
sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too 
y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?
Seb’s POV
Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.
sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!
y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over. 
sebstan_fan: alright have fun 
y/b/n: <3
Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself. 
“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.
“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.
“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.
“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.
“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.” 
Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.
*the next day*
y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.
sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)
y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.
sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha
y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol
sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!
y/b/n: what like in person?
sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!
y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...
Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”
sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?
y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D
sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?
y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...
Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!
y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3
“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.
*Saturday*
You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside. 
“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.
“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.
“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.
“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.
“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.
“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.
“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.
“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.
“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.
“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.
“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.
“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.
“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”
“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you. 
“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.
“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.
“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.
“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.
“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.
“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.
“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.
“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.
“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.
“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing. 
“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.
“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.
“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.
“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”
“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath. 
Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?” 
“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.
“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.
“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.
“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.
“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.
“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.
“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.
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A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.
Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince​ @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​ @anbrax5553​ @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes​ @miraclesoflove​ @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie​ @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom​ @thefallenbibliophilequote
^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^
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Hi, I love your writing. I really want to make a request where the readers have eating disorder but works in the modeling industries. She is like dating Gerard, but they were in a super big fight because of her eating disorder, as well as her constant traveling for fashion weeks, and at the end, they make up, and Gerard is helping her getting better, and stuff like that. I really love your writing, can you please write one? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
Title: Poisons A/N: I actually got two requests for something like these. The endings for both requests were slightly different, but here’s the first one. I didn’t really edit it, just because I haven’t updated much content in forever, but here you go! Pairing: Gerard Way (probably late Black Parade era) x Model!F!Reader Word count: 3,170 Warnings: Eating disorder, swearing, angst, drama, there’s just a lot.
Okay, so this was not what Gerard expected to come home to.
The man expected to go back to his New York apartment, shared with his gorgeous girlfriend, and for everything to be perfect. Well maybe not perfect, but perfect in Gerard’s mind.
He wanted nothing more than to just eat some chips, not having eaten in 16 hours due to his flight and partial distaste to airplane food, and curl up with his girlfriend, hugging every inch of her curves.
Instead he came home to a house that was nearly empty of any food, only a few protein shakes resided in the large fridge. This was already a huge warning sign Gerard looked out for. His mind attempted to justify itself, thinking that maybe he was jumping to the worst of the worst conclusions. No, you were probably just traveling so much that you weren’t at home enough to actually buy food.
He sighed, moving to one of the cabinets he knew the take out menus were hidden in. Opening it up, he picked up one of the cheap paper menus covered in dust, shaking it with his hand to get it off. Great, these hadn’t been touched in months.
After debating mentally between Chinese and Italian, he moved to your bedroom, in hopes to finally see the love of his life after months of being absent on tour. There you were, peacefully sleeping in bed. Jetlag, he knew.
He carefully removed his shoes, moving to his closet to change his airplane clothes to more comfortable ones. Climbing into the warm bed beside you, he placed his hands on your hips as he always had. His initial smile soon turned into a frown.
Even under the large hoodie you were wearing he could feel the painful outlines of your ribs. Grimacing to himself, he heard a small sigh fall from your lips. “Gee?” You coarsely called out.
“Mhm,” He hummed back, kissing the top of your head despite the pure disappointment towards you that coarse through his veins.
“What’re you doing? Weren’t you supposed to be gone for another week?” You asked again, still half asleep.
“The guys and I decided to cancel the last week where we were just supposed to travel, I missed you too much.” He smiled lightly, moving your hair to the side to kiss your neck.
“Mmm,” You hummed quietly, your consciousness growing back. Within seconds realization hit you, your eyes internally going wide, not wanting to show anything to Gerard, and you pulled away from him slightly.
“Babe,” He sighed, “We’re not doing this again.” “Doing what again?” You tried to pretend to not understand what he was saying.
“You’re a gorgeous, talented model,” He began with a soft smile, “But don’t go into acting, you’re not good at it.” “Gee, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fired back.
“Take off your hoodie,” He insisted, “Now.” “Gerard, what the fuck?” You scoffed, “Take off my hoodie?” “You heard me,” He stated, “Take it off.” “Why would I take it off?” You scrowled.
“So I can confirm that you haven’t been eating like you’re supposed to.”
“Gerard, please-” You begged, now falling off your pedestal of lies. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.
“Why haven’t you?” He asked, looking at you, “What has caused you not to eat again? I thought we were over this.”
“I don’t think that’s your problem.” You snapped. You rarely if ever did so, but this was only further confirmation that you hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. You were cranky.
“Damn right it is my problem.” He sat up next to you, his face had gone completely serious. There were traces of anger in his eyes, his pulsing veins along his muscular arms told you all you needed to know. He wasn’t only infuriated with your habit, he was disappointed.
A word you hated. You absolutely hated. The way it sounded, the meaning, how it made you feel. “Please,” You begged him, your once bright eyes gray from the torture you had put yourself through. “Please what?” He asked, his tone still somewhat harsh.
“Just don’t be mad.” You pleaded. You could see his eyes scan over your face, looking for any signs that you were lying. He found none.
Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to clear his head he nodded lightly. “Alright,” He said barely letting out a breath, “But you need to tell me everything.”
And you did. Most of it at least. You explained how your insecurities resettled themselves in your mind, starting the moment he left for Tour. You talked about how you were getting more gigs and all due to your tinier size. You explained how skin and bones was basically the new trend.
He sat and listened to you. And he believed it, because he knew it was true. But naturally, he also was a human lie detector. Especially with you.
“Okay,” He began, “And what else?” So maybe that one small part your left out was something that you really didn’t want to admit. Gerard had this strong distaste for most of your model “friends”, ya know, the ones who are naturally tiny and eat salads 24/7, never genuinely enjoying a single meal. The one’s who flashed their designer shit everywhere they went, who posted bikini photos every other day and managed to somehow photoshop themselves into complete Barbie dolls. It made Gerard’s blood boil, he never liked you hanging out with them. Because are them you were not Y/N, you couldn’t be. And that made you even more secure.
“There’s nothing else.” You lied. He looked you in the eyes, waiting another moment.
“I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me the truth,” He sighed, “What else?” “I said nothing.” Your tone was adamant. He rolled his eyes in disbelief.
“You lied to me,” He began, “You just fucking lied to me. We’ve been over this how many times?” “I didn’t fucking lie to you,” You stuck up for yourself, moving further away from him.
“Another lie, damn Y/N.” He sighed, “We’ve been dating for three years, and you still can’t trust me.” “I do trust you, Gerard.” “Then why are you lying to me?” He asked, his tone going to a much harsher pitch.
“Ya know what?” You said, grabbing your pillow violently, getting up from the bed, Gerard looking at you with no emotion. “Fuck you.” You stated.
“Are you seriously gonna leave?” He asked, rolling his eyes, “Immature.” “No, I’m going to the fucking couch where I don’t have to sleep next to a complete dick.” You fired back, going into your closet and grabbing a spare blanket. “You didn’t mean that.” He scoffed.
“Then why the fuck did I say it?” You marched out of the bedroom, flipping him off to which you heard a sarcastic laugh.
This was far from how you had planned his return. You were gonna stock the fridge and pantry, ya know, not give him a chance to think you weren’t eating, and probably have dinner made. You would eat a small portion, making the excuse you had a big lunch with your friends, and bam! Everything would be okay.
But naturally, shit didn’t work out and after numerous insults thrown at each other you found yourself on the couch silently sobbing. You and Gerard had never gone that far, ever. This fight was beyond messy, it was a complete dumpster fire.
You wanted no more than to apologize to him, but you also wanted an apology from him. You should’ve told him everything, that was on you. But he pushed your buttons and he knew what he was doing. It only took 15 minutes, before you heard his soft footsteps coming from the bedroom, and his warm arms wrapping around you, to which his shoulder became one to cry on. His slow and soft coos calming you down, as he began apologizing over and over again, clearly more mad at himself at this point. “Sugar, I’m so so sorry,” He apologized, “I was just really upset.” “I know,” You sniffled, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you a dick.” You looked up at him. “Well, I was kinda being one.” He lightly smiled, to which you giggled in his chest. “Just promise me, you’ll start eating again.” “Gee-” You were about to make an excuse when you were interrupted.
“Babe, you have to.” He began, “Remember what your manager said last time?” You sighed, remembering. Yep, they would place you right in a psych ward. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re not gonna tell anyone, but I need you to start eating, okay? We’ll go gradually, start small and build up. Together, okay?” You nodded, placing you head on his shoulder.
“I love you,” You smiled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” He smiled right back down.
-Six months later-
"Gee, that’s too much salt!” You scolded as he put a tablespoon of salt not a teaspoon into the cookie dough you were making.
“Oops.” He looked down to which you smiled lightly. You took a chunk of it placing it into your mouth, and he did the same. You couldn’t help but gag at how much salt was in it. “Salty.” He admitted, and you lightly nudged him.
“Yeah, ya dork.” You smiled. “That’s what happens when you add too much salt.” He lightly laughed, wrapping his hands around your waist from behind and placing his head on your shoulder.
“So what’re we gonna do to fix it.” “Nothing,” You said, “We could like, triple the batch, but that would be way too much.”
“Don’t forget we’re seeing the guys tonight,” He smiled, “They’re gonna eat this shit up.” You sighed, nodding.
“Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea after all.” The two of you spent the next half hour adding more of every ingredient, thankful that your apartment was stocked with food to use.
Carefully, you placed as many trays as you could into the oven, closing it and setting the timer. Giving Gerard a quick peck on the lips, he went off to review some emails as you checked your phone. Of course, the group chat was buzzing.
You sighed as you open the text chain reluctantly, scrolling through only to see your name pop up numerous times. “Y/N, where have you been?” “Yeah, fr, we have been out to lunch with you in forever.” “Why are you ignoring us?” “Really? Now you’re being a fake friend.” “Guys, I’m okay.” You simply responded, “Just really busy.”
“Uh huh, you’ve been doing boutique stuff for months.” “Literally nothing even big.” “Not since that Prada show.” “It’s Gerard, isn’t it.”
And just like that, you were about to light these girls up. Gerard was the only one willing, and quite frankly able, to get you out of the huge hole you had dug yourself into. And damn, now these bitches (I hate misogynistic terms against women, but I think it may fit here) were really gonna act like the good guys. “Don’t bring Gerard into this.” You simply responded. “It has to be him.” “He’s not even worth it.” “You could have any guy in the world, and you chose him.” “He’s way out of your league, and you’re still on your knees for him. Smh.” You knew damn well they were trying to get to you. None of these girls had had any true romance, only summer flings with football players, actors, and singers. Granted, Gerard was a singer, but he made good music. He was an artist at his core, singing was just apart of that art. It didn’t take you more than a moment to remove yourself from the group chat, and block all those girls. The real fake friends. The timer went off, which startled you a bit, but placing your phone down with a heavy sigh, you turned it off, to check out the cookies. The top row was done, which you were going to take out. Naturally, the tsunami of inappropriate texts from who you would once call your “girlfriends” was still flooded in your mind, and like a complete idiot, you reached in, touching and grabbing the sheet. With you bare hands.
“Shit!” You yelped, dropping the pan on the open oven and rushing to put your hand under cold water.
“Y/N?” You heard Gerard rush in. You looked up at him, and judging your hand under water, and the cookie sheet which had clearly gone through it, he took a slight sigh, first going to examine your hand. “You alright?” You nodded despite the tears forming in your eyes.
It wasn’t even the burn that hurt. It was the fact that you knew you let those girls get to you so easily, and the just embarrassed yourself in front of Gerard. You knew he didn’t find it embarrassing at all, it was an honest mistake. But still, it embarrassed the shit out of you. “Baby,” He cooed, moving your head up with his fingers under your chin to see the tears that were now slowly cascading down your red cheeks, “It’s okay.” He said lightly. You nodded, placing your head into his chest and sniffling a bit. “What happened.” “I was just distracted,” You admitted, “Forgot the oven mitt.” He nodded, holding you for a moment longer before he knew you were okay, and going to pick up the mess. “Gee, I can clean it up, I made it-” “No, no, please, just worry about your hand, okay, sugar?” You nodded, attending back to it.
The bright red mark across your hand didn’t want to budge, which you were fine with, considering it didn’t hurt as much, just stung a bit. He managed to clean up all the cookies pretty fast, putting them on the stove top to cool, and quickly going back to you. Giving you a kiss on the top of your head, it was his way of messaging he didn’t want to push the topic. But if you wanted to talk he’d be there to listen. It wasn’t but a few hours later that the guys came over. The mistake from earlier was long forgotten, other than the mark on your hand.
The guys were honestly some of your best friends, just like they were Gerard’s. They truly cared about you, just as much if not more than you cared about them. All of them knew about your struggles, and they were honestly your number one cheerleaders.
So the looks on their faces when they saw you healthy again was one that you could not pay for. It was definitely a lot of pride in you for doing it, and it made you feel even better about your decision to get healthy again.
Honestly, you loved the relaxes atmosphere of just hanging out. Sitting next to Gerard with some water, as he drank a Diet Coke, and some of the guys had beers, some opted otherwise. You could theoretically drink as well, but you didn’t want your boyfriend to ever feel alone or strange not drinking alcohol, considering his rough past with it. So you typically opted for a non alcoholic beverage.
It wasn’t until after the guys were gone and you were in the shower that Gerard figured out what was wrong. Your phone kept buzzing, going off constantly. He had never once checked your phone without your permission. There was a huge element of trust in your relationship, and he never felt that there was a reason to. He knew your passcode, you two had openly shared each others in the case one of you needed to use the others phone, but when he picked up yours and saw all those girls name pop up he scoffed.
He knew he probably shouldn’t have done it, but he opened your phone, scrolling through the messages. Some of them you had yet to block, and they were obnoxious. He went into the group chat where the messages were flooding, reading from the beginning of the day until now.
Pissed was an absolute understatement. If it wasn’t for the sound of the shower you were in keeping him aware of his surrounding, he probably would have smashed your phone. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he placed it face down on the counter right where it was, resorting back to your bedroom in some hope of calming down before you got out, not making anything too obvious.
Everything was fine, completely normal. The two of you laying in bed together, doing your typical night time routine of reading a bit, maybe watching something, it really depended. You could feel how tense Gerard was, even by your head just leaning on his shoulder. His muscles flexed together, twisted into tight knots. You weren’t sure what had him so stressed, there wasn’t a need for him to be, right? “Babe?” You asked, to which he quietly hummed, “Are you alright?” You had caught on quickly, like you always had. And now he had cursed himself for looking at those messages. Transparency, he remembered, transparency.
“Honestly,” He sighed putting his book down, “I- I- I saw those messages.” He stumbled on his own words. You gave him a confused look, “The ones the girls sent.” You let out a sigh. Oh shit, he thought, thinking the worst of the worst. “Please don’t listen to them,” You insisted, “You know you’re not the reason for any problem in my life?” “Of course not,” He scoffed, “You’re totally fine. It’s just, how they treated you that bothered me.” “Gee-” “Y/N, we’ve talked about this.” He turned to you, “I’m not a controlling person, I try my hardest not to be. But damn, those girls are complete poisons. They’re hurting you, they’re doing far more harm than good. And I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a manipulator or anything, but even you’ve admitted you’re a lot different around them.” You sighed and nodded.
“I know, I just-” You began, “I’ve spent so many years of my life surrounding myself with people like them that it’s hard for me to know what to do without that, ya know?” He nodded.
“You don’t need a bunch of model friends thought to still be a great model.” You nodded.
“I’ll cut everything off with them in the morning, okay?” “Babe, you don’t need to rush it,” He said, “I mean, sure, the sooner the better, but this is your timing okay?” You nodded.
“Do you think everything will be okay?” You asked him next.
“Well, after they very possibly blame you for everything over text and try to put you down a psychological spiral, because that’s what they do, then yes, everything should be okay.” He smiled to which you nudged him. “You’re making this so much easier.” You sarcastically said, “I don’t even know why I ask you.” “Because you love me.”
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neon-junkie · 3 years
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I haven’t read that callout post for me, I scanned thru it and most of it was bullshit like ‘oh shes racist because she tweeted that Micahs tummy looks like a pillow, therefore she is sympathizing with him!!’ and ‘oh she thinks this PoC chatacter is hot therefore she is fetishizing them!!’
But one thing I will comment on is that myself and my mutuals/followers never said a thing to NewAustin.
First thing, I’m an 18+ blog, why the hell would I be on a minors blog in the first place? I’ve had NA blocked since day one. I’m not comfortable interacting with minors. They, however, never blocked me, and they were behind some of the abuse I recieved.
Next thing, NA said that somebody sent the r-slur to them. Well, NA has also never mentioned their race on their profile. How is anybody meant to know what race NA is? only goes to show that they sent that to themselves. Plus, theyre a child, so they don’t quite understand how serious all this stuff is.
Another thing, I’ve told my followers/mutuals from DAY ONE to NEVER interact with any of the abusive people on this site. I’ve made posts telling people to block said group, and not interact with them. Block block block. Ignore ignore ignore. Don’t feed the trolls, and whatknot.
HOWEVER, just a reminder that ethnic-cowboys, antivaxxer, arthur-dirtydick-morgan2, and the rest of the crew did attack a minor repeatidly not too long ago. I won’t tag said minor, but I have reblogged all the posts about this.
Very strange how the tables turn, huh?
I’ve also said before that if you don’t like my/my posts, then just block me and blacklist the tags you disslike. When you enter a fandom, it is YOUR responsibility to filter out the content you disslike. Blocking/blacklisting stuff is there for you to help cater the content to what you want to see.
If you refuse to do this, which is what that lot have done, then it’s your own damn fault. You can’t attack anybody for making content that you disslike - just because the content isn’t for you, doesn’t mean that nobody can enjoy it.
Again, if you disslike my stuff, please block me. Making out of context callout posts for me isn’t going to do anything, apart from getting your blog removed for the third time for targeted harassment.
Why haven’t y’all blacklisted the Micah tag too? there’s a lot of fans out there, and a lot of content floating about. Why not help prevent your future self getting worked up, by taking five minutes out of your day to blacklist and block all the things you disslike?
Again, block myself, blacklist those tags, and go and enjoy your life. Do you really want to waste your time getting worked up over content you disslike? oh no, this stranger on the internet likes a villain, therefore nobody can like them and they must be cancelled. lol, what a toxic mindset to have. C’mon, put your big boy boots on and filter out that content you disslike.
Why don’t you use all that hatred inside of you to fight something that actually matters, such as all the REAL racism out there in the world? a lot’s been going on recently, not just for racism, but sexism too. Or would you prefer to harass a bunch of strangers on the internet because they’re a bit horny for fictional characters?
Like, damn, go and do something useful. Quit sitting behind your computer screens spewing false claims, when you could be a good person who really does make a difference by targeting real life racists!
EDIT: About the slur fic, that happened almost a year ago. I put my hands up and admitted that I made a mistake there: back when I first started writing fanfiction, I had heard that slur in the games, but thought it was just an insult - not specifically a slur. When I was aggressively informed that it is a slur, I edited the fic, added warnings, and made THREE apology posts where I apologized for my mistake, my lack of research, my general ignorance, etc. The fic is still on AO3 under the name ‘knife play’ with a tonne of warnings. I meant to delete the fic, but I thought ‘abandon’ meant delete (i was new to this stuff,) and now I can no longer edit it in any form. I’ve been talking to AO3′s DMCA takedown team about what I can do to have the fic removed, so we’ll see where that goes.
But yeah, that was genuinely my mistake, and I can see why some people would consider my ignorance as ‘racist,’ but that’s it, that’s the only thing I’ve done that was genuinely wrong. I still apologised for it and corrected it.
EDIT2: i’ve found the third and final apology post, but cant find the other two. you can read it HERE.
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kaylorrehabcenter · 3 years
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Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is
Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!
And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)
1. Fearless 15/10
Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.
“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”
Y’ALL
The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.
“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”
This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 
This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.
“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”
This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.
All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.
2. Fifteen 1/10
Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.
Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.
“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”
This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.
Other highlights that make me sob include.
“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”
Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)
(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)
3. Love Story 8/10
Tried to change the ending indeed.
This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)
This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.
“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”
More rural town angst!!!
Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.
“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”
Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.
“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”
Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)
Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)
Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.
4. Hey Stephen 1/10
The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
This song is very painfully straight.
How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.
The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.
Still a cute song.
“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”
5. White Horse 1/10
Oh look. It’s track five. 
You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.
Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 
She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 
“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”
“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”
These lines hit though!!
And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!
Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3
6. You Belong With Me 5/10
Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.
You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.
7. Breathe 8/10
Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!
It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.
I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.
“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”
“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”
Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 
8. Tell Me Why 3/10
You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.
This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.
“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”
This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 
“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”
Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 
9. You’re not Sorry 1/10
Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.
Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.
10. The Way I Loved You 20/10
Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.
WELL THAT WAS A LIE.
Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.
This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.
Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?
Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.
“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”
AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?
“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”
Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.
Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.
11. Forever and Always 6/10
Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.
Still pretty straight.
Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”
This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew
12. The Best Day 0/10
This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.
Still makes me cry.
God bless Andrea Swift indeed
13. Change 13/10
We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.
We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 
“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”
“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”
The music video is cringe though lol
14. Jump then Fall 10/10
This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3
Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 
“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”
Like. Look at this shit.
“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”
Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.
“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”
And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??
“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”
I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.
15. Untouchable 9/10
How does she make a cover sound gay.
It sounds so gay.
“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10
This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.
17. Come in With the Rain 3/10
I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.
But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.
18. Superstar 7/10
You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.
You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 
>:)
19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10
Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!
And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight
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The Art of Inversion
Neil x Reader
Chapter 19 - Holy Ground
Masterlist; Chapter 18
Summary: In the days before the mission in Tallinn, you and Neil have a few conversations to clear the air of doubts. Only, the mission itself proves to be a disruption...
Warnings: Swearing; mild violence.
Author’s Notes: Here we go, my favourite mission (and favourite Neil outfit too). This is only part one of the Tallinn action because so much happens... as you’ll see. I’m sorry. I really am. Hope you enjoy and please leave me feedback if you feel like it!
Song mentioned is: ‘Holy Ground’ by Within Temptation (I’ll share it in a post later but basically listen to it after reading and you’ll know why I’m obsessed)
Edit is courtesy of my amazing friend @sh3tani​ once again (ilysm and thanks for everything 💕)
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The upcoming days were busy. You have been assigned the task of getting hold of some of the vehicles and artillery TP wanted for the heist in Tallinn. It was difficult, not only because it is actually rather hard to acquire a fire truck with no records left from the transaction, but also because you barely had any clue what you were actually doing. And so, most of the time, you were sat at the dining table in the flat, calling various shady people Neil gave you contacts to. Sometimes, a tea would appear in front of you, courtesy of the other team members thoroughly apologizing for how they handled the ‘alley situation’.
It seemed like your late-night walk and the cold treatment you gave everyone (including Neil) for the next 24 hours afterward worked. The jokes have ended, and contrition took their place, usually in the form of extreme helpfulness, random acts of kindness, and, in Neil’s case, a break from teasing. At least for a short while.
The only development you were not so sure of was the fact that the whole team decided to label your relationship. Not just any label but dating, verging on a couple. And that was rather terrifying. It struck you especially the night before when you have minded your own business in the kitchen. Watching over the pasta boiling on the stove, you listened to the plans made by Ives. He was trying to settle on the best way to track Neil during the heist when he suddenly turned to you with a question:
“Has your boyfriend told you what kind of car they are going for in the end?” the neutral tone made you skim over the term at first.
But then your brain caught up. What?! You almost toppled over the whole pot of pasta onto the floor when trying to drain it. Fuck. Ives was staring at you quizzically, as though confused about your current state.
“I… Who?” you stammered out the question, knowing it will only make everything worse.
“Neil” Ives grinned, “Unless you’ve gone for an open relationship and there’s another boyfriend involved”
“Christ, please stop” sighing, you tried to calm down just enough to function “I believe he’s going for a BMW, don’t know what series but something fast enough just in case there was a chase” triumphantly, you poured the sauce over the noodles.
“I’ll need to give him a call about it” Ives smacked his tongue thoughtfully.
“Feel free” using the opportunity, you grabbed the cutlery and escaped into your room.
Boyfriend? Now that was something to cause anxiety. Because despite everything that happened, all the things you have told Neil and got in return, you had no clue what you were supposed to be. Not really. Yes, sometimes you let yourself entertain the idea that maybe you were together, maybe he was your lover. But… was he? Could he ever be that?
With those thoughts occupying your mind, you only managed to last until afternoon the next day before giving in. After failing to contact a car dealer for the fifth time and realising that you have completely messed up the route plan due to forgetting about important details, you closed the laptop. It was hard to think when all your brain did was give reasons for why Neil would never actually want to be with you. To summarise: you were not enough, naïve, hopeless, and dumb enough to think that someone this incredible could think about you seriously. Stifling the sudden desire to breakdown and give up on everything, you dialed his number. He picked up almost instantly.
“Yes, my love?” your heart clenched at the nickname.
“Hi… um… Do you have a moment?” you cringed at the awkwardness.
“For you? Always”
Maybe, on another day, that would have made you smile. But that was not that kind of a day.
“Neil, I’m serious,” sighing, you rested your head on the cold wall behind your bed.
“What’s wrong?” his tone switched from playful to concerned.
Okay… now there’s no turning back.
“I’ve just been thinking...” you started, debating on the best way to breach the topic.
“Oh no”
Damn him. You cracked a small smile, knowing that was the intention. You could almost picture him at this moment, sat in some absolutely strange position in the armchair, nothing but long legs and ruffled hair. You did have it pretty bad.
“Shut up” you took a deep breath and blurted out “It’s probably stupid, and feel free to ignore this but... what even are we?”
There it is. Your whole existence hanged on his reply. But, of course, Neil needed more clarification than that…
“How do you mean?” his careful tone made your heart rate elevate.
The result was a string of sentences you shot out with the speed of a machine gun.
“Because everyone here assumes we’re dating. And Ives called you my boyfriend last night, and I don’t... I don’t know if that’s what’s going on and-”
“Okay, calm down,” he interrupted your rant “Take a deep breath” he waited until he could hear you exhale to continue “What do you want this to be? Because we’re the only people who have a say about it” the diplomatic tone made you frown.
But then maybe he just wanted to get your point of view before saying anything substantial… Trouble was you had no clue. Picking on a loose thread on your sweater, you sighed:
“I don’t know” maybe this was the right time to give him another piece of mind?  “I always hated labels because when you name something, it becomes real” you admitted, letting yourself slide down onto the pillows.
Nothing could hurt you there. Apart from potential rejection from the likely love of your life. Basically, fml, as the kids say.
“What about good things?” his question caught you off guard.
“Well, yeah, but… once there’s a couple, then there can be a break-up” the insecurity had an answer for that too.
Your cheeks heated up upon saying the word. Because even that felt like a step too far. Like maybe you were clingy. Obnoxious. Someone he could want to get rid of as quickly as possible. Before you decided to back out of the conversation, he replied:
“That’s a rather bleak way of looking at things” it was still that thoughtful tone.
A burden then.
“I know” you groaned, frustrated with yourself.
But the next thing he said was rather surprising…
“I’ll need to work on making you more optimistic. Not because I don’t like you the way you are, but because I want you to realise how wrong you are sometimes” the conviction and practical implications of the statement made you speechless.
The future tense. The admission that he did like you, with your countless issues and overbearing anxiety. It couldn’t be, could it? Neil took your stunned silence as permission to say more:
“From my side, let me say that dating doesn’t quite cut it because it implies not being sure... And…” despite yourself, your ears perked up, wanting to know what he meant.
“Yeah?” you prodded, trying to toe that precarious line between curiosity and fear of rejection.
“I’m not really in the trial stages anymore. Don’t think I’ve ever been” he clearly wanted to tell you more but was holding back.
Maybe it was for the better. Before you could think about a response to that, Neil added:
“Basically, we don’t have to use any labels. We’re just us” the simplicity of that statement broke through your resolve, making tears well up “Me and you. We know best what that implies and no one else matters” quietly, you sobbed, and he laughed before choosing to put that final nail in the metaphorical coffin “You’re my love, and that’s the only nickname I need” Neil sounded happy, as though despite your worries, he wanted to say that “I can be your idiot, as long as I’m yours” the punchline came with an audible smug smile.
Oh my god. You laughed, with tears still silently falling down your cheeks and heart hammering in your chest. He was impossible. Absolutely impossible. Suddenly asking that crucial question was not that scary. Because maybe today was the day when would tell you, without alcohol or worries prompting the confession. Taking the plunge, you spoke:
“Neil, do you-”
“Yes, I do,” he interrupted you with an answer.
“I haven’t even asked the question” you frowned, unsure whether that kind of an answer was better than a confession.
Because, yes, he already said it once (almost twice), but both those have been anything but thoughtful. And your ever doubting brain was quick to use that fact against you.
“But I know the answer” he sounded certain.
Perhaps too certain.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to tell you over the phone” Neil sighed heavily on the other end “Listen, I have to go… but call me or text if you need to talk” he hesitated before adding, “No matter what I want you to remember what I said that night in London”
Oh… It was the first time any of you brought it up. You just assumed it was one of the things that just slipped out in an unguarded moment. You wanted it to be true, but then that was too risky. But maybe not…?
“I heard you” you whispered despite being alone in the room.
“I know” you could picture the soft smile he sometimes gave you “Goodbye, my love. Good luck with work” at the reminder of the piles of papers still waiting, you groaned, causing him to laugh.
“Will be needed since what you’ve assigned me is close to impossible” the change of the topic was dearly welcomed.
Grabbing the laptop again, you opened it up and felt all the motivation dissolve upon the sight of the route waiting to be planned. Coffee will be needed. And maybe whiskey too.
“I believe in you,” Neil broke your brooding with a comment, “And it’s not really me who assigned it” you rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Bye, idiot” unable to stop the grin on your face, you ended the call.
So maybe it was worth calling… Even if only to learn that he was in fact yours. And that he did not mind your insecurity or moments of anxiety. Maybe all this had some more potential than heartbreak and tragedy? Ignoring all the thoughts, you focused on the workload. After all, someone had to get all those bloody vehicles on time for the boys to play with.
*** The closer it got to the day, you could feel the tensions rising within the team. Partially it was your own fault and the fact that you were nervous. The plan was vague enough. What you and Ives’ squad knew was that TP intended to take over the plutonium 241 on the move, specifically on the highway leading out of the city. For some reason, he needed a fire truck and a firefighter suit for that. You had no clue why, but you blamed it on the boyish dreams of being a firefighter. Sure they all had those.
Neil was simply the designated driver and mission coordinator, and you hoped that meant he would stay out of harm. As much as that was possible for an idiot like him. You were not allowed to meet to stop TP from getting suspicious, and so all you could do was rely on texts and daily phone calls to keep you from going insane. The downside of the situation was that you could not slap Neil when he said questionable things. Examples being referring to the heist car as sexy (“And what if I told that it’s not the BMW that’s sexy?” “I’d be flattered”) and calling you his girlfriend on the call with Ives. That second incident resulted in the squad leader acting all smug because he apparently ‘figured it all out’. He did not, but who were you to prove him wrong.
And so, you perfected the plan, finished all the assigned tasks, and waited on instructions concerning the day of the mission. When they came, the message was simple – sit on your assess and wait, just in case the Cavalry was needed. You did not specifically like that ‘waiting’ part. Especially since Ives began insisting that you do not actually join them in the field. In his mind, the safest place for you was the flat. Not being a part of the squad and not having enough experience were the main factors acting against you. And you hated the fact that he was right. That is until the evening before the mission when an unexpected text from TP came. You were busy trying to understand the rules of a strange competition show on the television when your phone buzzed. Expecting something nonsensical from Neil, you picked it up instantly. Only to get shocked by the number on display. The message was straightforward:
“Join the squad in the field in Tallinn. You must be there”
Right… When you were asking the universe for help, you did not expect that. But it was better than nothing.
Without a further ado, you got up and wandered over to Ives, who was sat with Wheeler and Michael at the table. Upon your approach, the Brit looked up:
“Don’t tell me you’ve got some last-minute changes from Neil” his blue eyes were hazed with concern.
“No, I’ve got something better” you passed him the phone and waited for a response.
The widened stare and arched eyebrow was the initial reaction.
“He wouldn’t have sent if it wasn’t important” you added, hoping to win the case.
“I don’t get it” Ives sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair.
He glanced at Michael, who nodded and left the room. You just assumed that the discussion was not meant for any ordinary squad member.
“Apologies for my language, but you’re not a bloody soldier, and it might get rough out there” Ives spoke up again after a beat “And I don’t want to fucking worry about your safety amidst all the other mess” he met your gaze warily.
It was a little embarrassing to be considered a burden. You flinched internally before trying another approach.
“I know, but Neil might need me” as soon as you said the words, Ives scowled.
Of course, that just sounded like a lovesick teenager fighting for a hopeless case. And you hated that. But his very next words triggered the remains of resolve.
“Frankly, darling-”
You broke into a laugh, knowing the quotation well.
“I swear, if you quote Gone with the Wind right now, I’ll do something stupid” as a warning, you grabbed hold of the knife lying on the table, making Wheeler snicker quietly “Please, let me go out there. I can track his GPS signal or something. And well, you know that I’ve got a good aim. It might count for something” pleading was not your forte either but at the end of the speech, Ives’ gaze softened.
Maybe? He sighed once again before leaning his forehead on the folded forearms on the table.
“If you get hurt, he’ll kill me” he muttered gloomily.
“You’re exaggerating” you bit back a dry chuckle.
“No, he’s not” your head snapped up at the sound of Wheeler’s voice “But I’ve got to back you here if TP sent that text, then it’s probably important” she looked at you with a small smile.
“Thank you” you grinned back, grateful for the support.
With the days spent among men almost exclusively, Wheeler’s company meant a lot. Soon she became the only person you were willing to discuss your worries with. Because she was not keen on cracking dumb jokes about your relationship and asked questions that did not only concern Neil. And that was a welcomed change.
“You really need to be careful though, because Neil cares about you. Which probably makes you the most important person on this squad” her voice broke through your thoughts.
You knew she meant well, but the statement still made your cheeks heat up. Because did he really care?
“Don’t. You’re making me all flustered” deciding you’ve had enough of the awkwardness you got up to fix a tea.
“Well, I’m only speaking the truth here” turning back to the table, you saw Wheeler shrug “The physics boy took his fancy upon you, and that’s no funny business” she grinned at your perplexed expression.
Briefly, you glanced at Ives, who seemed to have given up on fighting with you and instead was listening in to the conversation with a neutral facial expression. The kettle boiling was your cue to respond:
“Great” semi-aggressively, you threw the tea bag into the mug poured the water “Did he though?” you asked, not even looking at them or expecting an answer.
“Yep,” Wheeler stood up and gave you a quick reassuring shoulder squeeze.
“I’ve never seen him like this before” Ives added once you turned to face him again.
That tea could not brew any longer…
“Not even with…” you hesitated before adding quietly, “Alex?”
“Not quite,” the man gave you an enigmatic smile, only increasing your frustration “You’ve convinced me though. You’re coming with us. Just please, for the sake of my sanity, be careful out there” you resisted the urge to jump up in relief “Because I’d rather not deal with an angry Neil. He’s a pain in the ass enough” Ives added darkly before getting up and joining you by the kitchen counter.
Smiling, you finished the tea.
“Thanks. I’ll do my best” playfully, you nudged his shoulder with yours “You can always blame me though” picking up the mug, you turned towards the corridor.
“As though he’d care” Ives muttered at your back.
The sudden surge of confidence was surprising yet also inspiring:
“I’d make him care. There are some things even he can’t say no to”
The last thing you heard upon closing the door to the bedroom was Ives choking on water.
*** The Tallinn mission for you began with an early morning phone call from Neil. You got as far as getting out of bed after having been staring at the ceiling anxiously for the past three hours when the phone rang.
“Morning,” you muttered, stifling a yawn.
Espresso was certainly needed. Maybe two, before you would have to head out.
“Hey,” the soft tone felt like a mild punch “I’m glad you’re up already” Neil’s sleepy voice made you wish you could wake up together again.
There was always that slightly husky tinge to it, the way he lazily pronounced some words just because it was early still. So different from the enthusiastic overenunciation when he was preaching another messed up plan of his. Or the cheeky inflections he tended to use with you during banter. It was terrifyingly easy to get to know him that well because of how open he was with you.
“I couldn’t sleep. But it’s okay I’ll manage” you admitted, distracting yourself from the sudden thoughts “I didn’t tell you last night, but I got another text from TP… he wants me to join the squad today”
From the moment you have shut the bedroom door the previous night, you have debated calling Neil about it. But then he initiated another rather amusing texting exchange focusing on his fashion choices, and you felt bad disrupting the peace. It could wait. Not anymore. You held your breath until Neil responded with a simple question:
“Why?” he was careful, and you could not blame him for it.
You perched on the windowsill and looked out at the quiet cityscape. The streets were strangely empty for a weekday morning. Sighing, you answered in the best way possible:
“I don’t know, but Ives said yes after some coaxing, so I might see you out there” smiling despite yourself, you waited for his response.
Since recently you had to rely on phone calls, it became increasingly easy to determine his mood based on the tone of the reply. Or on the various nonverbal noises he sometimes made. Now there was a quiet hum proceeding the sentence. A surprise, mild confusion, and worry. Brilliant.
“As much as I’m happy we might meet… and that you can see me in that sexy car,” you rolled your eyes awaiting the point “Please, be careful. I need you safe”
It was not disappointing. You knew he did not intend it that way, and yet the anxiety fuelled brain was onto it instantly. I need you… safe. Unable to stop the comment, you muttered:
“Just safe, then”
“What?” any hope that he might have missed it dissolved with that single question.
Could he for once not listen to what you say? You know, like men tended to do. But then Neil was by no means an ordinary man.
“Nothing. Don’t mind me” the attempt at saving your dignity failed too.
“I thought it goes without saying that I do need you. And that I want you”
Oh god. At once, you wanted to smash your head into the wall and to kiss the bastard for being the way he was. Adding to that sentence, the mental image of his sheepish smile was enough to make your heart speed up. When the silence stretched, becoming awkward, you whispered a reply.
“It’s good to hear it sometimes” the coldness of the window glass cooled off your blazed cheeks, “Especially when I don’t actually believe it” he knew that by now, undoubtedly.
Here the nonverbal cue was a half-choked sigh. Annoyance. Frustration.
“You should. I don’t go around telling everyone that” Neil’s confident voice was trying to pull you back “And I certainly don’t have moments as we do with anyone else” at the implication, you felt flustered again.
Because there did not an hour go by without you thinking about what happened. The pull between you was startling at times. The absolute desire you felt. The way Neil knew exactly how to make you remember every second of every moment. With the memories flooding your brain, you could only utter a single question:
“Why me?”
It was curiosity. Because apart from that evening months ago when you first tried to make sense of your budding relationship, he never said why he cared about you. And you would never dare ask. But now, with everything that happened, it was worth trying. And Neil was willing to deliver:
“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because you’re the bravest, kindest, most beautiful person I know” you could only keep on listening with your mouth agape “You fascinate me, and I want to discover all that you’re willing to give me” he finished in a reverent whisper.
That was not what you expected to hear. Not now. Not ever. Speechless, you wondered whether maybe this time it was not a mistake to give your heart away. It was too late. He had everything but your body; that was just a matter of time.
“Neil, I…” this was all you could manage, afraid you would give away another confession.
“Well, you’ve asked,” he chuckled lightly and then asked, “Are you okay?” you could picture that crease between furrowed eyebrows.
“I suppose-” a loud knock on your door interrupted the sentence; it was time, “I think I should probably join them for the final briefing…” hesitantly, you jumped off the sill.
Only two of you could be interrupted during such an important conversation.
“Go, I won’t keep you. Believe me, though, when I say that I want nothing but to be with you. In every way possible” your breath hitched at the connotation behind the sentiment.
Jesus, this man…
“That’s rather mutual,” like a secret you passed it to him on a sigh “But only when you’re not an ass” that was a much-needed distraction for you both.
There was work to be done, after all. You could hear the commotion in the apartment rise in volume and strength.
“I’ll do my best then. Good luck, darling” you grinned at the nickname he was determined to use.
Darling, you could do with. It was better than the ‘love’ that always made you feel like you were just another one among many.
“Don’t do anything stupid I still owe you a few slaps… and a payback” you added the necessary suggestive tone to the last word.
The rest was up to him to figure out. Which he did, if the pleased laughed was anything to go by.
“I’m very much looking forward to all of those” you missed that smirk.
“You should. Bye, my idiot,” you debated saving his number as that in your phone.
Maybe it was the way forwards.
“My love,” laughing, you ended the call when he uttered the words just for the sake of it.
But then that was Neil’s essence – doing things just because. Or to get a reaction from you. And you would not have it any other way.
*** Only when sitting in that bloody SUV, you learned the true meaning of waiting. And how much you hated to do that. There was nothing to do apart from sweating in the protective gear and avoiding the awkward small talk others were susceptible to. The squad has cramped into two non-descript vehicles, and you being the so-called precious cargo, ended up in the same car with Ives who have sworn to protect you. Only, for the first half-hour, there was nothing to protect you from. Apart from anxiety, boredom, and frustration.
Your role was rather simple – follow Neil’s signal on the map to know where you might be needed should he call for backup. As much as you did enjoy the possibility of tracking his movements somehow, you did not appreciate the cheeky smile Ives had on his face when he gave you the job. Or the comment combined with it: “Well, he’s your boyfriend, it’s only fair you keep him on the metaphorical leash here”. That is how the small blinking dot on the map of Tallinn became your sole focus for the past hour. Just before everything kicked off, Neil radioed you with a simple message: The mission is about to start. Wait for further instructions.
Ever since your morning phone call and the revelations that came out, you only exchanged a few texts concerning the practicalities of the action. Despite the nerves, you did hope to see him in near future. Even if just to check whether what he said was true. Looking for a distraction from the sudden thoughts, you glanced at the screen again. They were near, on the main junction of the highway, heading towards the port. Your SUVs were parked underneath a small overpass, five minutes away in the current traffic conditions. Which proved to be convenient, as it turned out.
“Is he still following the set route?” Ives’s question brought you to the present moment.
“Yeah, they’re-” you glanced to double-check the exact location when you realised that something has changed.
The dot was not moving. It was still blinking, but clearly, they have stopped at a crossing. Traffic lights? Your brain somehow knew that it could not be that simple. You opened your mouth to voice the thoughts when the comm came alive on the dashboard with static crackling:
“We need back up here. ASAP”
“Roger that” Ives tossed you the radio “Ask him about the details”
Without waiting for more information, Michael fired up the SUV engine as Ives contacted the second vehicle.
“Neil” you spoke into the receiver “What happened?” you flinched at the louder noise from the radio.
Gunshots?
“We’ve been ambushed by Sator’s people. TP’s status unknown”
Bloody brilliant. Swallowing down the rising worries, you asked another question:
“How many people?” another gunshot pierced the silence.
“Not sure. They’ve gotten clean up orders” a strained breath from Neil told you how bad the situation was.
“Okay. We’ll be there soon” you glanced at the road ahead.
Still, 2 mins to go. Anxiety was threatening to overpower you at any moment. But now was not the time.
“Hurry up” Neil closed the channel with a final dose of static.
Fuck… Forcing a deeper breath, you could only watch as you got closer to him. The sheer thought of something happening to Neil was unimaginable. That was enough to trigger panic. So you pushed the idea to the back of your head, focusing on the distance disappearing.
There was no mistaking the fact that you have been led to the right place. Crashed cars, asphalt littered with glass shards and broken parts, gunshots piercing the air. The destination looked like a car pile-up from an action sequence. Frantically looking through the windows, you tried to spot that blonde head. To no avail. The SUV came to a sharp halt as the squad members began jumping out of the vehicle. Once everyone else disembarked, you moved to follow them, only to be stopped by Ives:
“You’re staying here. I can’t have you out in the shoot-out” his blue gaze was stern, hand blocking exit out of the car.
The idea that you were so close to Neil and could not see him was enough to make you angry.
“I can handle myself. And he’s-” you spit out the words in the face of the squad leader while trying to push him away.
“I said no. The conversation’s over” with a final glare, he stepped away and scanned the horizon for immediate danger “If someone approaches the car, you know what to do,” he threw as a parting remark and disarmed the rifle.
Fucking hell! Groaning in frustration, you kicked one of the seats. He was so close. You glanced at the device in your hand. He could not be further than behind the first line of crashed cars. Biting on your lip harshly, you quickly went over the options. One was to obey Ives and stay inside the bloody SUV like a well-behaved child everyone apparently took you for. No one seemed to care about the vehicles you parked on the outskirts of the action. Flinching at the further salve from the heavy artillery, you knew that the squad had joined the fray. You could be safe here… but… Taking a deep breath you knew there was no possibility you could stay away from the action. Not when Neil was there, potentially in danger. It was not possible to give up on someone that important just because you were told to. Christ…
Glancing through the windows again, you could see Sator’s people attempting to clear the place. The squad evidently attempted to push at them from one side, hoping to get a clean sweep that way. Then, just as you were about to go back to the internal crisis overwhelming your thoughts, you did a double-take. Surely not? You would recognize that hair colour everywhere. There he was attempting what was looking like a skirting manoeuvre to circle the mercenaries with the Cavalry on the opposite side. Only that left him completely uncovered, in the direct line of fire. Bloody idiot. The instinct to jump out and run to him kicked in. The only thing holding you back was the fact that you would disobey the orders. And leave the car unguarded. All the hesitation disappeared once the comm in the car crackled with static:
“Emergency assistance needed. ASAP” the tension in his voice made your pulse quicken.
The lack of response from the team made all the blood drain from your face. You could see him trying to hide behind some overturned car. The henchmen were near enough to get him with no problem.
That thought was all the convincing you needed. Swearing, you quickly pocketed the tracking device, adjusted your protective gear, and grabbed the gun. You have been offered a rifle (just in case), but you preferred the classic. At least it was something right?
In two leaps, you have covered the distance. With the team trying to get through the attack line on the other side, it was just you and Neil. You shot a round in the direction of the approaching merc, missing the target yet earning attention from the main object of your focus. His eyes met yours across the plane. You could see shock, worry, and something else there. Suddenly a salve whizzed past you. The bullets cutting through the air all around, shooting past your head and piercing the car behind. A strangled yell from Neil was a surprising reaction, yet you did not blink twice. He was all you could see. With a final surge through the field, you reached him. The pure fury and anguish in his eyes took you aback. Have you missed something? But there was no time to ask questions.
“Go, I’ll cover you” you whispered, looking at the approaching group of mercs.
Neil took an additional moment to stare at you as though he could not quite believe you were there. But then he jumped up, aiming the gun at the man closest to you. The same that undoubtedly attempted to take you out seconds prior. When the mercenary fell with a bullet in the head, you stared in shock. There was no time to recover as Neil pushed through, barely looking behind at you. It was surprisingly easy to tune out the emotions, taking out anyone who could threaten him or halt your advances. You worked well together, movements in sync enough to stun the opponents on a few occasions. For a second, you wondered whether it was only bound to get better the closer you get to each other. That was certainly an interesting idea… In no time you have met with the line of the squad, watching on as Ives dealt with the last man standing. You have won. The adrenaline started to leave your body, resulting in tremors and shaking hands. Clutching the gun to prevent it from cluttering to the ground, you met the exasperated gaze of the squad leader. Your only response was a shrug. You did not regret the decision, seeing as you have evidently helped them in the field.
“Neil? Do you know where TP is?” Ives took his attention off you and looked at the blonde man.
You followed his gaze, for the first time actually looking at Neil since you spotted him across the plane. At the moment, you were struck by what a sight he was. Navy shirt with sleeves rolled up to expose the forearms covered with veins. The same tie he had on during your walk. Your pulse quickened. The vest drawing attention to the ratio between his broad shoulders and narrow hips, accentuated with a belt. Brown loose-cut trousers and scrapped leather shoes adding a classy touch. You were aware that you were staring yet unable to look away. Not knowing whether to blame it on the adrenaline rush, you wanted nothing but to touch him. Take off those driving gloves that piqued your interest at the first sight. Or have them be wrapped around your throat with just enough pressure. Get rid of the tie again. And…
“Think Sator took him” Neil’s response broke through your increasingly hazy thoughts.
Shaking off the images that started appearing, you looked up at his face again. The ruffled hair and flushed cheeks were not helpful. Fuck’s sake. It had to be stress. Because what else?
“Their place in the port?” Ives asked, his tone nothing but strict business.
“That’s my bet” Neil shrugged, looking around with something dark in his eyes.
He was tense, like a feral animal that could lash out any moment. You were not wrong. The cold blue gaze settled on you almost remorsefully, but before you could open your mouth, he snapped:
“What the fuck were you thinking?” the hostile edge to his voice was new.
You flinched as though you have been hit. The lack of physical impact did not matter. Your heart stammered. He need not explain what it was about. Please no.
“You needed a cover. They weren’t responding, so I did the obvious” you shrugged, feeling the anger grow “And I could ask you the same question” spitting the sentence into his face, you took a step closer.
You have never seen him that furious. Not even in Oslo after your little fuck-up. The sight was both terrifying and alluring. The dark blue eyes blazed with fury. Jaw clenched. Slight pink tint on the cheeks. And yet, still, you had no idea why he reacted like this.
“I knew what I was doing. That’s the difference” the coldness of his voice threw you off.
So it was real. He did mean it. You tried to save him, and here he was, pissed off at you. Making you almost regret it. Almost, because the love was there too. Not giving away no matter what.
“That’s bullshit” it felt good to admit, “You were reckless, as always, and expecting me to-” your rant got interrupted by a strangled yell.
Nothing prepared you for the revelation then. Or the sudden anguish on his face.
“You were almost shot!” Neil’s eyes glistened as though he was close to tears.
Suddenly it made sense. The rain of bullets you were hit with just before getting to him. The way he reacted. But you made it. Nothing happened. So why was he acting like that?
“Almost” ignoring the growing pain in your chest, you pointed out the obvious.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Ives and the rest of the squad observing you. You would rather not have an audience, but then Neil seemed determined to drive his point forward. His face scrunched into a pained scowl.
“Fucking hell,” turning away from your gaze, his back tensed even more “You can’t do shit like that just because I’m involved” the defensive tone took you aback.
What? It was getting worse. You could feel the confidence leaving your body as you struggled for a response. You would never think Neil would do something like that. Not after everything you have told him. Figuring out the only way you that could work, you took your own line of attack.
“Who says I did it only because it was you?” the implication hurt because it was partially correct “Quite an ego you’ve got there” his back was still turned to you.
That angered you even more. Crossing the distance, you placed your hand on his shoulder, making him turn to you. He flinched upon the contact as though your touch burned him. Oh my god. The tears welled up in your eyes. It could not be real. But the emotionless look in the eyes you thought you knew was very much real. It was as though before you realised Neil has built up a wall, guarding himself against you. And there was nothing you could do to get through. You got shocked by the cruel smirk that split his face.
“I can see the way you look at me. As though you wanted to-” you interrupted him sharply.
“Neil”
It was too much. Perhaps because it was true. But he was not done. Persistent to keep going.
“Admit it. It’s because you said some things, and now you can’t bear the thought of losing the object of your affection” the careless tone and the words pierced your heart with gut-wrenching pain “Well, you see, sometimes feelings need to be put aside” he added, almost casually.
Fuck. You gasped, unable to keep a straight face. He might as well see what he has done. Some things. So this is how much your confession meant to him. Good to know. You wanted to slap him, but you felt like that could turn back on you. So instead, you made sure to straighten your back, putting on the familiar mask of neutrality. You have done this before. Probably should have expected it. Only why did it hurt ten times more?
“Can we leave the bloody lovers quarrel till later?” Ives’s voice pierced through the tension.
But you were not ready. Raising your hand in a stopping motion, you turned back to Neil. His face was terrifyingly indifferent. Maybe it was all an act. Or maybe it was just that easy for him to get over whatever you thought you had. A lie. Gathering the smithereens of confidence, you forced a levelled tone:
“Says you. As though you’re acting out of reason right now” you gave him your best impression of the sneer visible on his face.
You could crumble at any moment now. Only the pounding in your ears and the wounded pride were keeping you upwards. But Neil wanted to destroy everything.
“More than you” he glanced at the team waiting impatiently “I really thought you’d know better than this” the punchline was more than you could take.
No. Please no. Your knees buckled, and you swayed. But then you caught the flash of concern in his eyes. Just for a split of a second. So it was not all cold and hatred? You heard Ives huff out a string of curses. There was no time for this. Whatever it even was. Honesty it was then.
“Better than to give away my heart to someone like you? Evidently not” you met his eyes for the final time before walking away in the direction of the SUVs.
The shock you saw in Neil’s face was enough to fuel the survival instincts. With the heart broken or not, the mission was still on. And the rest was silence.
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madamecricket · 3 years
Text
Fourth (and Final) Impressions of Deltarune Chapter 2
Edit: forgot to put a readmore. Forgive me! Spoilers under the cut!
- So I wasn’t even in the palace very long before we got to a series of puzzles that Berdly couldn’t solve, much to his frustration. I figured Berdly was building up to something, either a boss fight or a growth moment, and it was the second one. Turns out when you thrive off of praise, you develop a bit of a dependency... good on him to be self-aware.
- In the flashback sequence with the spelling bee, I noticed the word Noelle got nervous and stuck on - “December”. See, I remember another sequence in the city where we had a character moment with Noelle while pressing a series of switches that spelled out “December.” Clearly the word is significant to her in some way, and probably a negative way considering how it made her freeze up. Either something big happened in December, or something big happened involving a person close to her named December, since I remember her mentioning a “Dess”. I’m looking forward to where this goes.
- The theme in the Queen’s palace slaps, just gotta say that before we go further.
- So backtracking a bit, Lancer has been stone-ified, and Ralsei knows exactly what’s up: the dark fountains create worlds, the dark fountains that was sustaining Lancer’s world is gone, and that’s why Lancer is stone now. He’ll be fine, though, if we can get him back to Ralsei’s castle town and the fountain there. Good of him to offer a solution, except...
- ... hold the fuck up, Ralsei. So you’re telling me that this happened to Lancer because of the loss of his dark fountain - which Ralsei encouraged us to go through - and because of that, the Dark World that Lancer comes from is no more? And what’s more, Lancer now depends on the Castle Town fountain - that is, Ralsei’s fountain - to live. He is now life-bound to your town, Ralsei. He literally cannot leave you and still live, and even if he could, the world he knew is gone. Oh, but it’s ok, because you conveniently have a place for him to live under your roof now. 
- And, hold on, who was it who told us we had to go through the Dark Fountain to get home?? I played through the first chapter just recently, that was you, Ralsei. I definitely remember Ralsei saying we had to do that, he gave us that quest in the first place, and I definitely do not remember him mentioning at any point that this would end with Lancer’s world being destroyed. This is absolutely not fine, Ralsei. Oh, and considering how conveniently us getting isekai’d in the library lines up with Ralsei suddenly insisting we had to go and do homework... Ralsei, are you the one isekai-ing us???
- *deep breath* Okay. I’m calling it now. There’s something Ralsei isn’t telling us. I joked earlier about how he wants to bake us into cakes and eat us, but to be clear, I think whatever’s going on here is more complicated than “Ralsei was the bad guy all along”. I get the feeling that Ralsei’s desire for friendship, especially towards Kris, is very genuine. It’s just... this whole situation is reminding me of Asriel’s deal in Undertale. Fitting considering the whole anagram situation... I wonder how Deltarune!Asriel is going to play into this.
- Okay, back to more current stuff in the game. I met up with Roulsx Kaard (idc how to spell it) again and he’s facing me in... the thrashing machine I made in the first chapter. I’m serious. Same color and everything, holy shit.
- behold the majesty
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- COMETH FORTH, MY SQUEAKY DUCKY!!!
- ...whut?
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- this is excellent. I’m going to die of excellent.
- ohh, now he’s gonna transform... aaaaand...
- oh. ... you know, I wondered when it was gonna catch up to him?
- ice cold, Ralsei. Ice cold.
- “Why don’t we close our eyes and imagine how she’s doing now” Just like last game... is Ralsei actually activating some kind of power when this happens?
- “I wish Dess could see this”? I knew it! I’m on to something!
- taking a moment to acknowledge the shipping energy in the air
- Noelle (paraphrased): “Where are we, anyway?” Me: say “Dark World” Susie: “You’re just having a dream” Again with Susie thwarting player intentions...
- .. a heart-covered Ferris Wheel. Okay, Toby Fox, we’re doing this now!
- Susie has a tail???
- BERDLY WHAT
- And again, we return from a Susie Sequence to Ralsei apparently explaining something to Kris and finishing with a variation of “so that’s why-” before getting cut off by Susie. What are you explaining, Ralsei.
- Checked a calendar in Noelle’s palace room. “Every page is the last month, every day is the 25th”... what??
- another banger of a final battle!! let’s do this!!!
- See, I had a feeling that the Queen didn’t actually want to hurt anybody, but she has a... funny... idea of what constitutes helping. It clicks with her being basically a personified search engine - she literally wants nothing more than to give people what they want and make them happy, but she’s not always great at figuring that out based on what they search. She mentions Noelle’s “sad and lonely searches”... Noelle, honey, are you ok?
- Excuse me, Queen, this Dark World was created *today*? ... And it was created by the Knight... and I already suspect that Ralsei is “isekai-ing” us... Ralsei, are you the knight?
- New important info: “Lightners” are apparently necessary to create Dark Fountains due to their determination, and unlike Undertale, determination isn’t exclusive to humans
- BERDLY!!! BERDLY IS PUTTING THAT REDEMPTION ARC TO GOOD USE!!!
- ...
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... this game just became perfect
- Oh hey, White Diamond, what’s up?
- “Oh Damn I Did Not Know That” WELL NOW YOU TELL US, RALSEI!
- Susie doesn’t have a tail? Make up your mind, game!!!
- Phew. Okay. Okay. The actual game part is over. Time to process some thoughts...
- So we’ve seen two Dark Worlds so far, Lancer’s world based on games (cards, checkers, etc) and the Queen’s world based on computers and the internet. The running theme I notice so far is escapism. During her fight, the Queen monologued about a desire to fulfill the desires of people who turn to the internet to dull their pain or look for new distractions. And as for Lancer’s world... well, it’s implied to literally be made of abandoned toys. Both of them things people turn to when they need a little entertainment or escapism to avoid their real-life problems for a bit. And I think it’s been mentioned that Darkners are essentially made to serve Lightners; perhaps helping them cope with the difficulties of life?��
Even putting aside the symbolism here, Susie and Kris literally escaped to this world to blow off their classwork, and Susie in particular seems to think the Dark World is better than anything in the Light World. In the final battle, Susie, Noelle, AND Berdly were all just about to open up a Dark Fountain themselves and make themselves better lives in the Dark World and only stopped when Ralsei very firmly informed them about the Roaring. Is this going to come up again? Are these kids going to struggle with the temptation to abandon their real lives to go play eternally in the Dark World?
And isn’t that just a perfect microcosm of the relationship that people have with video games in general - including this one? The perfect opportunity to just forget about your own life for a bit and temporarily live in a different world altogether, one with battles and magic and adventure?
Just what the fuck is going on here, Ralsei? Was I too quick to accuse him of being a secret villain earlier? Is Ralsei just trying to get us to process our shit in the Dark World, and then destroy it so we move on to the Light World with renewed hope in life? .. or is he just trying to make himself the center of our fantasies?
- HOLY SHIT THE QUEEN IS HERE! THE QUEEN IS HERE AND SHE’S GONNA BE A MOM FOR LANCER!!! (or “girldad” as Lancer puts it)
- ...have the Queen and King met? I mean, it would make sense, but they haven’t been mentioned as having a relationship of any kind or even knowing each other. Is this another Toriel/Asgore kind of situation?
- HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT SHE IS HIS MOM
- So I’m just talking to NPCs around Castle Town, right, and I meet up with Seam again. He just told me to be careful not to stay in there too late and that I don’t want to get caught when the sun goes down... DAFUQ YOU MEAN, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN???
- This is wonderful, I’m now witnessing Toriel and Sans having a joke-off in person.
- (Sees Kris going in to wash their hands) (Hears Toriel say “they do that sometimes”) ...so Kris has like... a condition? The heart-ripping thing has happened before?
- (Sees last thing before credits) ...okay then!!! I think that’s all the things I can get into one post, haha! Forgot to mention some things, but I can only type so much!!! Can’t wait to talk about this later, haha!!! (holy shit)
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excavatinglizard · 3 years
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20 Questions Writer Edition
Thanks for tagging me @jenjiy ! Y’all get to see the deepest depths of my fandom soul (by which I mean Star Trek is my second serious fandom and I hadn’t written fic since I was like 15 until February). I’m definitely more art-focused but I’ve been enjoying writing more often recently!
How many works do you have on AO3
16 (although most are just dumb little one shots)
What’s your total AO3 word count?
53,324
How many fandoms have you written for and what were they?
Are we counting unposted stuff? Because that would be… seven? (Warrior cats, gravity falls, WoF, SPOP, The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, Star Trek AOS and DSC. Again, please don’t judge baby Lizard they were having fun at the time 😂)
What are your top five fics by kudos?
Passing Thoughts (Spirk AOS)
If You’re So Damn Sure (Mckirk AOS)
Keep On Doing Like You Do (Mckirk AOS)
Unexpected Fowl Should Be Brought To Captain Pike’s Office (Gen AOS)
I Got Dust in my Eyes (Mckirk AOS)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I always try to respond to comments, and usually pretty quickly since they make me happy! But if it’s just something like ‘aww, kudos!’ I might not because… not much I can say besides ‘thank you!!’ but I appreciate it anyway!
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending
Hmm I don’t think my fics usually have angsty endings, but probably A Conversation. Actually, yep. That one’s more than a little angsty (even if the ending’s supposed to be a bit comforting)
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Hahahaha you ask me, writer solely of fluff, this? I mean, what do you classify as happy? Anyway, that would probably have to be In The Summer Swelter
Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?
Hmm not really? I mean, I have a couple sort-of-crossover wips, but they’re mostly just rough notes. I guess @ season-ofthe-bitch and I have that AOS Magnus Archives crossover?
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Nope! Amazingly…? I guess my fics are all pretty small and I’m not popular enough to have received hate. Plus the Mckirk fandom seem to be generally lovely people!
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Ha. Haha… my writing is pretty (well, I’d say) family friendly. There may be a couple smut wips on my computer, but nothing that’s ever seeing the light of day.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I mean, not to my knowledge? Again, I’m pretty small and new to fandom so even if someone would steal one of my fics, haven’t really been around long enough I guess. Hoping it stays that way
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, once again I am fandom baby.
Have you ever co-written a fic?
Surprisingly, yes. My high school ex was actually the one who introduced me to wider fandom, and we wrote a couple things together(this was before we were dating, mind) although I usually don’t count it (I wonder what they’re doing now…)
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Ahhhhh I haven’t really had any long term ships. I mean, I’ve been neck-deep in Mckirk for almost seven months now??? But before that I was very much a Jonmartin shipper (and that isn’t changing anytime soon).
What’s a wip you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Probably lighthouse fic (part of which I posted because I liked it but knew I wouldn’t finish) or my First Fifteen Lives Mckirk au
What’s your writing strengths?
Uh so this might sound self deprecating, but I’d say just the fact that I’m writing. I’ve never been a particularly strong writer (English was always my lowest grade. After history…) but I AM writing and editing and posting, so honestly? I’m just pleased that I’ve been able to do as much as I have.
What’s your writing weaknesses?
All of it. Please I am in pain why did no one ever teach me to write fiction???
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?
I’ve never done it myself but I think it’s awesome when done correctly. I adore how much it can add to a fic
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Warrior cats……..
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Honestly? Like the Sun Upon the Sky. It’s six hundred words and I’ll freely admit to going and reading it when I feel down and just need some sleepy fluff. Write what you need to read, they say, and damn did I do it 😂
Not gonna tag anyone (because most people I know have already been tagged haha) but any of y’all are welcome to do it!
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