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yomogi-mogi-mochi · 1 year

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Twst Characters and their Government Assigned Mitski Songs

As a Japanese American lesbian it's my duty to assign these characters their songs from our lord and savior Mitski. Enjoy :)

My masterlist containing stories using some of this analysis is here.

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*̩̩̥*̩̩̥ ୨୧ Pomefiore ୨୧ *̩̩̥*̩̩̥

Vil Schoenheit: Brand New City

"If I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn't know how to be alive"

I was stuck between Brand New City and Liquid Smooth- or even Working for the Knife. Honestly the angst potential for this man? Autonomical. I'm thriving.

This line in particular gives my Lush/Liquid Smooth vibes- being at the ripening peak of your youth. Despite the development he does go through during his Overblot arc, I think he does still have this fear of growing old and less desirable, as signified through his reactions when he remains old after escaping from S.T.Y.X.

Especially as someone who is the leader of the Pomefiore dorm- he is seen as the epitome of beauty. I mean it's most of his motivation for doing the things he does, so what happens when he no longer has that asset. Of course, he may remain beautiful on the inside (as Rook mentions), but we're all human- there's a very strong desire in him to stay as he is- hot with smooth red blood and as plump as a ripening fruit. I don't think it makes him any less likeable, I actually think it makes him a lot more realistic to see him this way. I'm sure he'll have a breakdown in his 30s and 40s when his impossibly smoothed skin begins to wrinkle lol

He's forever tethered to prettiness and beauty inside and outside- I don't think he could live with himself if that part of himself withered away.

If you like my analysis of Vil, please consider checking out my Vil x Orpheus MC fic Lasting Spring. It's a Vil x Orpheus Inspired MC, some angst/hurt/comfort, and friends to lovers

Rook Hunt: Pearl Diver

"Those creatures of your working mind, don't fear them or their hunger. Forgive the sea, follow the tide with the monsters on your shoulder. Pearl Diver, dive, dive deeper."

Was between Strawberry Blonde and Pearl Diver, but I felt that Pearl Diver fit him best. He's an aspiring archaeologist, he's a hunter which hops from one shiny thing to another- there's always something that he's chasing for the thrill of the hunt, whether that be uncovering the mysteries of bygone civilizations, or his nimble prey (Leona lol). But this is a ceaseless hunger, a thirst which will never be quenched. And I think partially he knows this- though the adrenaline of chasing down and carving his prey is hollow, it reels him back everytime- never lingering too long on anything.

What better metaphor is there than this shiny pearl, slumbering deep beneath the deep seas that he keeps diving deeper and deeper for? I think partially it's passion but first and foremost it is a youthful hubris, and endless hunger for knowledge that I'm sure many are familiar with during your teens/twenties. I think there will come a time where he dives too deep for his own good- but that won't stop him from plunging back into the ocean to find its beauty once more

I explored this characterization in my Rook x Pygmalion MC fic Pygmalion, check it out. It's got angst, slight enemies to friends to lovers, and a lot of hurt/comfort.

Epel Felmier : Your Best American Girl

"Your mother wouldn't approve how my mother raised me. But now I do, I do."

I think this is one of a handful of Mitski's "hopeful" songs- and one which explores the sociopolitical nuances of love that is rarely explored so beautifully in music (especially because the industry is oversaturated with mediocre white people, cishet white men in particular). But I think for Epel, it signifies a similar journey towards acceptance that is told in his arc

The song it not only touches upon racial differences in dating, but also gender/gender performance (as they often overlap due to cultural differences in gender and gender performance) in its overall message. With a pretty boy who learns to accept that part of himself as an empowering part of his whole- this hopeful line rings wonderfully with his development, as he becomes more comfortable in his background, masculinity, appearance, and strengths.

‧✦‧ Diasmonia ‧✦‧

Malleus Draconia: First Love / Late Spring

And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five; Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child, and I don't wanna go home yet; Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

Was stuck between this and I Don't Smoke, or Washing Machine Heart. Either way he's a huge softie who's been sheltered his entire life so the experience for his first love for him would be as intense as this song. The lyrics tend to swing between a painful yearning for the love to never end, and a longing for the love to end as quickly to cease how suffocating and choking love can be when you first feel it.

First love is something that almost bursts at your seems when you first experience this. And it's the best feeling in the world, because you just so so full with this buzzing lightness you've never experienced before. But you know it'll end because of course fairy tale endings of true love and love at first sight don't exist, so you're begging it to be as painless as possible. For Malleus, I think this is how he experiences first love- as well as his feelings for his family (Lilia, Sebek, Silver). He knows its not going to last the eternity he is cursed with (which becomes evident with the current chapter when Lilia begins to show signs of age), and he wants so desperately for it to stretch as long as it can- but also to end as quickly as he blinks so the pain doesn't leave a relentless aching.

"Tall child" I think also describes him very well. Of course he is knowledgeable of things but he lacks the wisdom people gain from experience and the stimulus of life and tragedy. He's been numbed partially to being alone, and by sort of distancing himself from the people who project the image of untouchable monster to him, he becomes that very thing.

Much angst potential for this man as well. I love.

If you like my analysis for him, you'll like my Malleus x Light Fae MC Spolia series (*^-^*). It's got a lot of art history knowledge (gothic period), some friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, and yearning idiots.

Lilia Vanrouge: Pink in the Night

"And I know I've kissed you before but, can I try again, try again, try again?"

This song is interpreted as a romantic love song as many of Mitski's song are, but I only think that's because there's a misconception that romantic love = most raw and powerful love, and I absolutely do not agree.

He knows that there is an eternity before and after him that stretches beyond the things he loves. He may not be alive to see Silver grow old (or vise versa), or be able to support Malleus for the rest of his life either.

But unlike Malleus, he's come to terms with it, and adheres to a sort of absurdist school of thought. He values freedom and dynamic movement- he allows himself to tether his life with others, while also valuing his own experiences and opportunities. So I think these lyrics pair well with his acceptance of the nature of his life compared to the people he loves, in addition to his philosophy of living.

If you want to see a romantic interpretation of this analysis however- you'll like my Lilia x Dullahan Beloved Thy Name fic. It's got your standard hurt/comfort, angst, and I might make a sequel.

Silver: Crack Baby

"Crack Baby, you don't know what you want. But you know that you're needing it. Yeah you know that you want it.

I think Silver is one if the most emotionally intelligent characters in Twst, maybe next to maybe Carter. So the knowledge that he's likely going to be the one who will leave everyone else behind is something which is cemented into his desires and anxieties that are revealed to us in Chapter 7.

I think he also sort of knows that there's more to his genetic heritage than what is available to him. And in addition to the nature of the environment that he grew up in that instills this very fixed fate onto him- the lyrics parallel well to the permanent cravings, thinking, and power (ie his unique magic that has strong connections to Aurora plus the necklace Lilia found beside him when he first found Silver) that we're conceived before he really came to be as a person.

He lived in the foods far from the castle, he didn't have to become someone who serves both his father and Malleus- but he chooses to because of his permanent fate. The fact that he will be the one leaving everyone is internalized and delegated to his desires to make himself useful, memorable- something of substance for these other lives that seen much more grander than his own. This is why he breaks in Chapter 7, wanting only to be useful and give something to Lilia- the preconceived nature of his life has lead him towards the painful truth, and there's anxiety that lives within him because of his family. But of course, this is because he loves them.

Sebek Zigvolt: Real Men

"Though honestly sir, all I wanna do is get naked in front of you. So you can look me up and down and give me your love for being so good"

So, the Malleus obsession, right? Yeah I think he would absolutely break down if Malleus were to ever get hurt or overblot on his watch. He absolutely hinges his own self worth and life on this man because A) he's part fae so he has the means to do so and B) I don't think he's had a chance to mature in order to cultivate his individual character enough. He's young.

This is from one of Mitski's earlier albums, Lush, so I think it's safe to say that this song is from the perspective of a younger woman than she is in say albums like Be My Cowboy and Laurel Hell. Women are taught to be obedient, to never be questioning to their superiors (men), to give and give and give. I wonder- where did Sebek learn this then? Perhaps his Fae mother? During his training as a guard? When he yells at people to respect and give themselves whole to Malleus, he's merely protecting that learned sentiment outwards. There was probably some moments in his life where he was being told the same exact thing.

So maybe in chapter 7 after Malleus' overblot, be learns to be "someone", to actually learn what he's giving when he says he'll give his all to Malleus.

*:ﾟ+｡　Scarabia .ﾟ･*..☆

Kalim Al-Asim: Francis Forever

I don't need the world to see that I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be where you don't see me

I think these lyrics best describe his relationship to Jamil.

He genuinely thinks the world of Jamil, but he's also naive- before Jamil's overblot, I don't really think it ever occurred to him that Jamil had been downplaying his own abilities, or that he had any resentment in doing so, because he genuinely thinks he and Jamil are friends. He doesn't fully comprehend that there's a certain power dynamic between them because the people around him have been accommodating to him his whole life, leaving him in ignorant bliss. He expects Jamil to cook for him and be his vice dorm leader because there's a master-servant pretext he doesn't quite understand but has been benefiting his whole life from, but in turn, he also doesn't really refuse when Jamil also asks him to help out. Which, in Jamil's perspective, I'm sure was even more frustrating on his end cause it really means he's actually just fucking clueless lol.

But I do think after Jamil's overblot and he does come to terms with his position, he still wants to be friends with him. And with the understanding of his dynamic and his own desires to continue a relationship with Jamil- he is definitely willing to sacrifice his own small victories as long as Jamil and him are able to still be together, side by side.

I think the lyrics speak to a more evolved side of Kalim that was not fully developed before Jamil's overblot, and it adds a bit of that bittersweetness thats in their relationship that actually strengths their bond in the end.

Jamil Viper: Class of 2013

"And I'll leave what I'm chasing for the other girls to pursue"

Has got to be one of my favorite songs cause it's so short yet so poignant like it just shows how talented Mitski is with just some simple notes on the piano and a few lines

Anyways apart from my Mitski obsession, this line in particular narrates the slow extinguishing of one's own desires to save oneself from being continuously hurt from preconceived barriers. For Mitski, I think here she's observing an industry that's dominated by white cishet people- and for Jamil, it would be in relation to the social/emotional obstacles correlated with servitude.

However, these feelings rarely die down. They stratify against the pressure of time, and in Jamil's situation, it presents in the form of anger and resentment towards Kalim.

Every moment of his life, he's had to measure and count each movement so his body molds into the image that is desired from a Master-servant relationship- and that initial warmth of personal desire slowly grows onto a bitter flame that wells quietly inside him, until explodes in the form of his overblot.

Now as a communist yeah go Jamil eat the rich ✊️ but I think Kamil is, as previously explained, genuinely naive about his status and the way Jamil has had to live. So I can't say the overblot is not at all unjustified- but the collateral damage is definitely not a great look.

If you liked my analysis of Jamil, you'll like my Jamil x Shikigami MC Merciful Crusade fic. Slight enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, discussion of trauma, with a happy ending.

✦·.⋆ Ignihyde ⋆.·✦

Idia Shroud: Working for the Knife

I always thought the choice was mine, and I was right but I just chose wrong; I start the day lying and end with the truth that I'm dying for the knife

Within the context of Mitski, this song is interpreted to be working for a thankless, unforgiving industry that is dominated by mediocre cishet white people/men, but I think it more broadly it discusses the concept of creation, and the artist's relationship to it.

And broader themes apply to Idia's relationship with the construction of Ortho, or what I imagined it was like. In Chapter 6, Idia mentions something about the human heart- about how it is just a hindrance in comparison to more objective systems of the world- like programming, or robotics. But I think here he's not only referring to Ortho's condition as an AI (as AIs evolve and feed off of information and systems created and use as humans, Ortho becomes sentient), but more importantly Idia's own betrayal of the heart.

On Idia's terms, Ortho's death and creation cannot be associated with much objective reasoning. The reason why the brothers tried to escape in the first place was because of the human desire for more in their life- Idia wanted partially to escape the burden of becoming the head of the family, and both of the brothers obviously wanted more than to spend their life from the prison that the family curse unfortunately shackles them to. Though these are perfectly healthy desires to have, Idia has blamed himself for risking both him and his brother's life before they had properly assessed the phantom situation, in addition to not being able to stop the security breech that ultimately (in Idia's eyes) lead to the death of his brother. For him, this relapse in judgement is purely because he avoided looking objectively at things (which in it of itself, is a subjective thought which I think he understands more after his overblot)- therefore, I think he's created a system for himself where there is a statistically low chance of him failing in situations he is not confident in- like his appearance or his socialization skills. What better way to avoid social ridicule than to avoid socialization altogether? And by lowering his self image by the start- there is no way others can lower it even further. Shut yourself from the world- and no one can disturb the objective fact that you're a good for nothing loser that got their own brother killed. No one can shatter your own reality.

But it's undeniable that Idia is a sort of prodigy and a genius- so he's constantly switching between extremely high and low self perception that sort of parallels his internal clashing between his objective way of thinking, and his own feelings.

But I think after his overblot, he's started to come to terms with this internal debate, and accept the fact that it's alright to feel things, and love for people and the world while maintaining his structure of thinking (he seems to think in connections, rather linearly- which can lead to a lot of conclusions of self blame and pity, but those systems can also be used in other, more positive ways), and reality is really what you make of it.

So I think this part of the song that indicates a melding between dichotomies- of regret, hurt, and blame- but also hope and desire perfectly describes Idia's personality, as well as his relationship with the world.

I think a lot of people who've had to deal with attachment issues and have late diagnosed autism can relate to this sort of journey. His way of thinking (ie being able to make metaphors between real life and video games- thinking in systems of connections rather than abstractly in isolation/linearly) particularly resonates with myself, an autistic, and I think a lot of late diagnosed autistics who are also burned out gifted kids (especially if you're the eldest sibling lmao) can relate to his way of thinking, especially if you're also intersectional.

Idia is seriously one of my favorite characters. Autistic rizz strikes again lmao

Ortho Shroud: Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

"So I don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory, I'm not the girl I ought to be- but maybe when you tell your friends, you can tell them what you saw in me, and not how I turned out to be"

Don't worry I didn't forget about our dear sweet boy.

I'm sure when Ortho (the version we see at NRC) was met with some mixed reactions from his family, including Idia. It doesn't take an AI to see that Idia clearly still blames himself for letting the original Ortho get killed- something the current Ortho no doubt at least takes the blame for, because he's not able to live up to the standards of the original Ortho, and make his brother happy again

In chapter 7, he also mentions to his parents "Thank you for treating me as one of the family", so it sort of implies there that he's probably held some guilt before, since Idia has shut himself from the world, and is very outward about his self hatred.

I think after chapter 6 when Idia is able to come to terms with his guilt and way of seeing things, Ortho is able to also have some closure. Rather than viewing himself solely through his brother's eyes, he's able to see himself as an individual. I think his decision to join the drama club shows the evolution he's gone through.

*♡.* Heartslabyul *.♡*

Riddle Rosehearts: Class of 2013

"Mom will you wash my back? This once, then we can forget"

He's the poster child for mommy issues, come on.

He's obviously been through some traumatic shit with his mom, particularly verbal and emotional abuse that has completely shaped his way of attachment and view of himself and others. He holds himself to a high regard because he sees himself as an extension of his mother's (and the queen's) qualities of high discipline and authority- and he holds his mother to a high regard that in turn puts him in a similar, high position. Without doing so, there's probably no way for him to justify the treatment he's had to go through. By viewing his mother as an absolute authority he looks up to, he's able to somewhat justify the harsh standards he was held at, and holds everyone else to (something he shows regret for doing after his overblot). This is why he lashes out so violently when this notion is challenged by others, because that is also putting his mother's treatment of him in question.

Obviously a lot of the respect he has for his mother is born out of the fear that his mother could just be a bad person, someone who does not love him sufficiently enough to treat him with care and softness- but there is also a kind of fucked up form of love in there. Iykyk lol, especially if you've seen the woman your mother was, or see what she's had to sacrifice for you- the way she held you in her womb through the seasons and the hours she's had to push your small body out of you- there's something that wells inside of you that makes you want to be held, and hugged and told everything is going to be okay by her despite all of the burning hate and resentment for the way she's carved these marks into you thay made you feel and see the world with that weeping blood. Then you see her mother, and think- oh. Right.

When everyone goes away for winter break, Riddle tells Trey that he's going to have a talk with his mother- and I think that shows that for him, not all of that high regard for his mother came from fear, and survival- but also, somewhere, love that had traced all the way from his mother, to his body while he was still in the womb, planted deep inside the darkness that lies between where the fibers of our body meet.

This line in particular is heartbreaking because the speaker is asking her mother to face her back, and wash the filth off of her. An act of love, that you can bare to fully face, because of the pain that person has caused.

Ace Trappola

I have no idea for this one. For him and Deuce (also Jack) it's a bit hard because their position in the game is to kind of be the navigators so he kind of lacks enough material for me to make education assumptions of his psychosocial background. If anyone has any ideas please add them below 🙏🙏

Deuce Spade: I Bet on Losing Dogs

"Will you let me, baby, lose on losing dogs?

I know they're losing and I pay for my place by the ring"

Deuce, again, is also hard to do but I think these are the closest lyrics to what his ultimate intentions are at NRC. He really does want to improve and prove to his mother that he can be a son she can be proud of- but he's consistently trying to fight everyone lol.

He's kind of like Zuko from ATLA lmao. But you can clearly see throughout the game that he feels shame for his past and recent actions of trying to solve problems with his fist, and the efforts he puts into studying and becoming a good student. To him, I'm sure it feels like he's betting on losing dogs- that it is simply within his nature to continue to fuck up.

Unlike the subtext of Mitski's lyrics however, he's betting on those metaphorical dogs because he wants to make his mother proud, rather than placing bets on a losing battle because it makes me feel at least something.

So if you do have better suggestions I'm totally open lol. But this was the only one I could think of (；∀； )

Cater Diamond: Nobody

"And I know no one will save me, I'm just asking for a kiss- give me one good movie kiss and I'll be alright"

When I look at people like Cater, I (not only generally avoid them) but I almost always think "Wow. You're a pretty hard worker. So serious, so frantic." (The word I'm thinking of is 必死 and Google is saying the english translation is "desperate" but thats not quite it.). It does make me want ro break them open a bit- not because I think whats inside is valuable in the slightest, but I'm just curious to what sort of thinks they're working so so hard to hide under all of that "effortlessly likeable" facade that barely veils the attachment issues that runs deeply in their bones. But I wouldn't do that, since it would be too tedious and predictable, haha.

Also probably why he's an easy target for his older sisters to be honest lol.

But I digress. This song at its core is about tethering love solely to the external world (which I think humans can't help but to do and is healthy to a certain extent)- and I think it reflects one of Cater's more hidden issues if mental health and self perception which he uses social media to likely numb.

I think someone on tik tok had a good explanation of this (I forgot their username ( ´Д｀)) but Cater's character shows the lesser known forms of depression/mental health issues where we seek any sort of stimulation (ie love in whatever form, but anyone as long it makes you feel) to battle the numbness and lack of self perception that comes with constantly being under the oppressive pressure of our own psyches.

"Movie kiss" is also language Mitski intentionally uses to emphasize the fact that it doesn't have to be real- it can be a parody of something and completely staged- as long as it provides some sort of stimulation, kind or like social media.

Trey Clover: I Will

"I can at least be neat

Walk out and be seen as clean

And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep and I'll love the littler things

I'll love some littler things

He definitely has some self blame for Riddle's situation when his mother came to his parents pastry shop. I think it's partially the reason why Trey values a respectable distance between him and others, and also why he undermines his own abilities. He makes a hell or a lot of effort not wanting to stand out in anyone's eyes, because he doesn't want to cause situations like Riddle's- where his position in someone's life results in trouble for them.

He's nice, but he's not necessarily kind, you know? I feel like he spreads himself pretty evenly among people, completing his role within the social spiral so people aren't hurt from his actions or existence.

This line from Mitski kind of shows thay detached nature- he doesn't want to be a bother to anyone so he assumes a sort of detached "mother" position, being generally pretty nurturing and assuming a nice face so he doesn't have to be weighed with that burden of causing trouble for people.

He's pretty normal otherwise 🤷 everyone except Riddle and Cater in the Heartstlabyul dorn is kind of hard to do

I have a Vampire MC fic for him in progress- ill link it when I'm done!

✧*: Savanaclaw ･ﾟ✧

Leona Kingscholar: I Bet on Losing Dogs

"I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I pay for my place by the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side, I'm losing by their side"

These lyrics are a perfect parallel to his personality and self perception.

He's constantly putting himself in a losing position (ie skipping class, not putting his all into academic and sports related activities) because he's let his placement assigned to him at birth seep into all aspects of his life.

He shows a lot of symptoms of depression/a mood disorder like hypersomnia (opposite of insomnia), low motivation, losing interest in hobbies, etc etc because he's constantly been surrounded by the fact that he is the second son- and will for his whole life live in his brother's shadow all of his life. I think he avoids being with Cheka not only because he doesn't like kids (relatable) but also because it's a constant reminder that a literal child will achieve what he cannot just because of his birthright, rather than a test of power or intelligence. But obviously he's adult enough to recognize that his nephew is a kid and he shouldn't be throwing his own shit at a child.

He has no care for people's opinions of him or measurements of his abilities because he already knows people will always see him as a losing bet, that losing dog- so he leans fully into the achetype.

Ruggie Bucchi: Humpty

"All the eggshells are on the ground, and I try, I'm trying to pick them up, but they crack and crumble, it's all too much- too frail for me to touch"

Gah Ruggie is also kind of a hard one

But I think there's a certain self image that comes with being a hyena beast beastman especially with the associations it has within Scar's narrative. He consistently mentions to Leona that they should both play their parts and benefit from eachother. I think there's a part of him that hinges his self worth on his ability to serve people not only because of his socioeconomic background, but also his species. He's had to walk on these fragile conditions of self worth his whole life, which is why he's continuously shown himself to be extremely resourceful, and quick thinking about the people he surrounds himself with that must work to his benefit. He's a scavenger, he has to make do with whatever he can, even if that is feeding off the (literal and metaphorical) scraps.

Not my best work lol. Please let me know if you have better suggestions.

Jack Howl: Stawberry Blonde

"I love everybody because I love you; I don't need the city, and I don't need proof; All I need, darling is a life in your shape- I picture it, soft, and I ache"

Difficult for him because he's so?? Well adjusted?? Lol like just one of those people you see you're just like "Ah wow you really actually had a happy childhood". Like such a foreign concept to the dorm leader/vice dorm leaders who are screaming, crying, vomiting into the void lmao

I feel like these lyrics were to be the case if he ever were to fall in love? The song itself is about yearning for something you can't get a hold of, but the lyrics in the beginning just cry absolute adoration that he values in relationships because he's seen it in his own family. As a professional yearner I can definitely say this boy yearns for sure.

*+:｡.｡　Octavinelle　｡.｡:+*

Azul Ashengrotto: Nobody

"I've been big and small, and big and small, and big and small again- and still, nobody loves me, still nobody loves me."

Perfect for his overblot narrative lmao.

This one is pretty straight forward, I think Mitski not only narrates the dramatic physical transformations that still make her seeming undesirable- but also the radical changes in personality in ego (as in inflated ego, deflated ego).

This works with Azul's backstory since he not only went through a physical transformation that likely fed into his attachment style and the way he views his self worth, but also the personality changes that reflect the gradual repression of these insecurities that lead to his overblot.

The lyrics also imply that there is a certain condition to being loved that the speaker is not able to fulfil. Now for Azul, I think he's able to fulfil that condition by providing contracts to others- but he internalizes that and uses it to fill the hole that is caved within himself due to a lack of self worth and positive self image. He becomes too power hungry because he's obsessed over these external means of validation to replace any intrinsic value that he has not been able to see within himself.

After his overblot I think he recognizes this dissonance between his external personality and internal insecurity, along with his intentions with others' magics that clearly stemmed from an externalization of his insecurities, and he chooses to accept his insecurities (both physical and mental) as a part of himself. Great redemption arc 🤌

If you like my analysis of him- you'll like my Mute Siren MC x Azul Ineffable Bloom fic. Childhood friends to lovers, lots of yearning, hurt/comfort, and also, flower symbolism/hanakotoba.

Jade Leech

Augh Jade is hard too. I feel like he has a very specific, calculated anger that is not very often in Mitski songs. Her stuff is more like eternally cindering flame- his feels more like a surgical needle.

Any suggestions????

Floyd Leech: A Pearl

"There's a hole that you fill, you fill, you fill. Buts just that I fell in love with a war."

This is a bit dramatic for him but oh well lol. Similarly to Rook, I think he's quick to obsess over things. But unlike Rook who will travel to the oceans depths to get a glimpse of that thing- Floyd is someone who, as soon as he's bored, will just shrug and find another thing that interest him. Partially, I think this is a cycle for him that he continues because of the initial thrill of it- and that goes for his relationships as well. With Azul and obviously Jade he's been with most of his life it's a little different, but for others, say, a romantic partner- I think he would definitely have a tendency to sort of love bomb people before one day he gets bored and begins to pick the person apart. He searches for little ticks he doesn't like, parts of their personality thay he finds annoying- and comes to the conclusion that he's simply done with them. And I think the cycle continues.

——————————————————

Live love laugh Mitski ✌️ I use so much of her lyrics in my writing. There were a lot of characters I had several songs for but I kept it to one per character

★彡 Feel free to add your own interpretations and takes!

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punk-pangolins · 11 hours

Text

Posting my dnd character backstories pt. 1

Boris Kannbernash:

Minotaur, Cleric (knowledge), Hermit, 7'3, 26 y/o

discord friends could never care this much for him as i do

ヾ(≧へ≦)〃

Taken away from the outside world at a very young age, and sold to patrol a 14 ft tall maze for the rest of his life. People of all shapes & sizes would enter the maze, captured foes of Zadicus Umbra, the man who captured him as well.

When he was younger, Boris would do as was expected of a minotaur, ram and track and hunt anything in the maze that moved. His anger for Umbra and himself for being captured were the only things that had been stored in his mind for many years.

He had remnants of memory within him that said if he did a good enough job, if he was quick or ravenous enough, he'd be granted freedom. After hundreds of victims and who knows how many years, his hopes of escape began to fade.

This newfound hopelessness began to eat away at him, and he slowly got lazier at his job. Despite this, many would still treat him the same, running off and screaming with terror. He'd still chase them of course, until one day he met a friendly gnome.

Her name was Darshee Primrose, the only one to ever find him first. She wasn't afraid of him like the others, and was actually kind. Instead of hiding, she greeted him, and would teach him of the outside world. He was told stories of her adventures before being captured, of ruins and tomes, of creatures and gods.

Until he woke up one day, and she was gone. No matter where he looked, he couldn't find her. The only conclusion was that she was either a dream, or found the way out. This new information sparked a different motivation in him, and that was the fact that there indeed was an exit.

Along with this new hope, he began to act more gently with victims brought to the maze, treat them with kindness, not chase them around, and in turn, they told him more stories. Some even showed him artifacts or holy symbols he couldn't previously name. Of course, he still had to eat, but a hunger for knowledge had been slowly growing in its stead.

This hunger for knowledge only grew as he started searching bodies of previous victims, finding books and parchment and ornaments he once thought were useless. On sleepless nights he spent looking through these faded tomes, he often saw a faint blue light in the distance, calling his name.

It would glow with a welcoming warmth, almost begging for him to follow, but in turning the corner, the light would always fade. One night, he was already tired from giving chase to a particularly slippery triton. The blue light came to him again, more intensely than he'd ever seen.

Instead of chasing it, this time the warmth only welcomed him further into slumber. This would be the first time he met Drevna, goddess of wisdom and dreams. She took interest in Boris for his unique thirst for intellect, and gave to him what he sought.

The day Boris woke, he found an intricate, glowing blue lantern at his side. When visitors came, he would ask them about the goddess, but only a few have heard of this name. He would wait for the glowing light at nightfall, but it never came.

The week after, he slept with the lantern at his side and dreamt of Drevna again. She saw more of his intent to be caring and helpful when people couldn't give him answers, so she decided to grant him clerical powers.

With these new spells, he also finally grasped what the lantern was for, and when he was destined to use it. Many days and nights came before he mustered the courage to go, as he knew his powers were quite limited, but that didn't stop him in the end.

When night fell 10 days later, he picked up his lantern and started walking, for every right direction the light grew brighter and brighter, leading him through turns and tunnels even he hadn't explored before.

Hours later, and the lamp was glowing so bright it hurt to look at. Boris found himself at the head of a long, downward tunnel. There was a faint, orange glow at the end of it. Securing the lantern at his belt, Boris ran for the light. Uncaring for any pressure plates or hidden arrows that had released onto him. He ran for his life and for the hundreds that never made it before him.

With tears in his eyes, Boris fled until he was met with level, solid ground. He wiped the tears from his eyes and checked for his lamp. It was still safe at his belt, but the light had gone out. What light was bouncing off its surface were hues he'd never seen before, of purple, red and orange.

He looked to his left, to a warm horizon he'd never seen before, and to the edge of the sky, where he found the sun.

And Boris saw the sunrise.

#this is what i do instead of anything productive #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dnd character #dnd campaign #creative writing #dnd backstory #dnd oc #character backstory #character background #dnd story #dnd ideas #dnd 5e #cleric #dnd cleric #writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr

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bansept · 2 years

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Samurai AU : Festival

It's hot outside, and I missed this AU, so here you have some more. I do want to warn you that, uh, I wanted to write this without truly checking everything if it was historically accurate or not. So, we might have some absolutely not correct moments, but *shrugs* I wanted to try!

Also, while this can be read alone, without checking the other parts of this AU, it is the same story, and all parts are linked.

———————————————–

The delicious smell of freshly made takoyaki was carried all the way from the festival taking place in the village, Orihime's nose scrunching in hunger and amazement.

For months, she had impatiently waited for the arrival of bright new days, clear summer and singing birds, signs that the people would bake all sorts of pastries, bring all types of new furniture from the other provinces for the few days that festivals lasted.

Her husband had promised her they would pay a visit to all the stalls, buy numerous items to please her, and quench her thirst for knowledge and curiosity.

So, to attempt to keep her legs from rushing to him and ask in the best-honeyed voice she had to go now, Orihime was surrounded by maids. She figured learning about the ordinary ways, those not so stuck up by nobility was an excellent start before heading down.

"So, when arriving there, we would have to simply relax and be happy, visibly?"

The young woman knew her question seemed odd, almost ridiculous to her maids, but she needed to know. Heavens forbid she embarrassed herself in front of everyone by acting merry if she wasn't supposed to! Kumiko, a woman about her age, chuckled gently.

"Yes, my lady. Festivals are the occasions to see new things from around the country, and meet new people. It's a great joy to have them, to work at the stalls, to expose your belongings, and it naturally brings the happiness we usually hide."

Orihime nodded in understanding. Her hands clapped in excitement, and she struggled to not wiggle - it was not proper after all.

"Oh, my lord." Mia, the oldest maid in the room greeted out loud, announcing the silent arrival of the man, who was now leaning against a wall, arms folded on his chest.

All the maids stood back up, picking up the various books Orihime had read in the morning, and stood back to allow the lady to smile at her husband.

"Hey."

Ichigo's jaw clenched as he smiled back at her, eyes soft. He pushed himself off the doorframe, coming up to her and extending his hand for her to take, his knees dropping to the floor to be on eye-to-eye level.

"You may leave, ladies. Thank you." He kindly pronounced the words, his deep voice sounding clear of any edge. The maids scurried away, whispering to themselves in amazement as Ichigo ultimately decided to simply sit next to the auburn beauty.

"May I help you, my lord? Or did you lose your way around?" Orihime asked teasingly, tenderly placing her hand in his extended one. Ichigo's eyes shined in mirth.

"I was looking for my timid wife, but I guess she disappeared. A shame, really, I so dearly wanted to be with her for the festival."

Orihime shrugged happily, the smile on her face eating away the calm facade she usually kept.

"Truly, a shame, indeed." The two chuckled before Ichigo leaned to place a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Come, we don't want to miss the opportunity to run away from governing the castle. It would be a crime to miss such a rarity."

With strong hands, Ichigo pulled them back to their feet, the movement moving his simple deep blue kimono over his lean body effortlessly. Orihime brought her hand to his stomach, rubbing it jokingly.

"True. You need to put up some weight, otherwise, you're going to look like a mantis."

His eyes turned to hers, a question burning his lips, but he chose not to ask anything, simply tickling her sides quickly. She wasn't completely wrong, but the comparison was still a bit off.

"You read too many books."

It took only a few minutes for Ichigo to decide he could not contain his wife's excitement, nor did he wanted to. Orihime was naturally curious about everything, talkative, outspoken, and kind. It was without a surprise to see her point to this or that food stall, her appetite growing with each step; witness her wonder at articles from the Europeans, especially an extremely sugary treat they called chocolate.

Of course, he was not immune to curiosity himself : so many meals, clothes, and devices he had heard off, used, or eaten were made in front of him, with the archaic knowledge of a deeply wrinkled man or even children younger than his sisters.

"I wonder if my sisters would have liked those." He wondered, examining a sunshade Orihime had adored. The bar was smooth, no doubt from high-quality wood, and the shade itself was white, adorned with light-colored flowers, a perfect match with the yukata she was wearing for the occasion.

His wife carefully caressed his knee, the table they were sitting in hidden by a tree big enough to keep some intimacy.

"I... sometimes wonder where they are. If they're alright." Ichigo breathed through his nose, closing his eyes. "A few days ago, I received a letter informing me of their health."

Orihime didn't ask anything, didn't make a sound. She simply made her presence known to him by rubbing affectionate circles on his knee.

"They're no longer sick. Until the next attack, that is."

Karin and Yuzu, Ichigo's dearest little sisters, had been poisoned too. An act of cowardice from an enemy who only desired to hurt the lord. It had taken all of his self-control to keep himself from starting a war.

"We should ask them to come if they are feeling better. It would cheer all of us up to see them. Especially you, my love."

Ichigo nodded, swallowing.

"Let us go back. Pick some beautiful gifts for them to enjoy once they will be here." Orihime encouraged him, this time prompting him up with her.

Ichigo's eyes felt far away for a few seconds before melting back to his adoration of Orihime. She was right. Together they walked, hand in hand, back to the sellers they appreciated the most to order their best merchandise.

The night could be frightening. It could be empty and dark in appearance, cold air breathing fear in the children's hearts and worry in their parents. So many things were hidden until they made their presence known with unidentified noises.

The night could be cold. The moment the sun settled behind the horizon, all the warmth that was spread by its rays was snuffed out. Bitter cold rain, howling wind and deadly silent snow could fall, tearing lives apart.

But that night, when Orihime and Ichigo sat among the people they shamefully didn't know enough about, the grass surely damaging their rich clothing, bellies full of artisanal food, his strong arms around her waist, they were neither frightened or cold.

That night, when the festival was celebrating once again the legend of the Tanabata, fireworks reaching high in the sky, licking the stars and exploding with enough colors to express human joy, Ichigo and Orihime felt deep contentment, happiness and security in each other.

If his Orihime was to be taken away, Ichigo would fight the gods, Death itself to spend his days with her.

If her Ichigo was to be separated from her, Orihime would turn the rain into a bridge to get back to him, to connect with him.

But tonight was not the night they would be separated. Tonight was a festival. The first of many.

#bleach #ichihime #ichigo kurosaki #orihime kurosaki #ichihime fanfiction #ichihime samurai au

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ladyshandioftheendless · 1 year

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~My Beautiful Vampire~

Yes, I’m super late with this but what can I do when my brain doesn’t wanna work..even when I want it to? Please, everyone..accept this belated birthday story for our dear StarChild~ Kinda inspired by @sagii24 and their lovely artwork here. Enjoy! Header art by @comets-nix

~Shandi

I never thought things would turn out like this.

But life has a way of knocking you for quite a loop.

I was an explorer of a sort.

At least I used to be.

Until I went to a place where no one dared to go.

A grand, old mansion that was said to belong to a Vampire.

I didn't believe in such nonsense.

I thought Vampires didn't exist.

One fateful night, I was proven very wrong.

First mistake, overconfidence. Eric wanted to come with me, but I insisted on going alone.

Second mistake, I didn’t bring anything to defend myself. I didn’t think I needed to. Amateur.

Third mistake, not wearing more protective clothing. Why didn’t I button my shirt before I went inside?

I should’ve died.

I suppose fortune does favor the foolish.

The foyer was so dark I needed my lamp to see where I was going. But the architecture..it was fascinating. I would have to come back and study it further later.

The library was even more intricate than I could’ve imagined. Rows of dust and cobweb covered books that stretched to the ceiling. Various educational tomes. Novels. Atlases. Things that could keep the mind occupied for years. The one who lived here definitely had a thirst for knowledge. That was one commonality we shared.

While roaming one of the many hallways I happened upon what seemed to be the master bedroom. Strange. The atmosphere was..different. It was already lit by multiple candelabras and a chandelier made entirely out of the finest crystal. The bed was covered with purple satin sheets, a plush comforter and a lace curtained canopy. All completely dust free.

Definitely strange. Was someone still living here? If so I had to find out. On the opposite wall there was a large portrait. Is he..the one who used to live here..? He’s absolutely beautiful. Such sensuous eyes. Such full lips. Such gorgeous hair.. I’m drawn to him. Before I even realize it I’m touching the portrait, and it’s moving. There’s some kind of mechanism behind the portrait. Despite my better judgment I reach out to touch it. An eerie noise echoes throughout the entire room. I definitely touched the wrong thing. I’m a fool.

~*~

I should’ve run, but my feet were anchored to the spot. Don’t ask me to explain why.

The sound of old gears grinding against each other behind me made me turn around. The..the bed was moving! The opening glowed with an unearthly purple light. Was there..something under the mattress all along..? There certainly was. The last thing I was expecting to find. A glass coffin surrounded by roses. Roses that were still alive, and in full bloom. I then realized, the man lying in the coffin was the same as the one in the portrait! Well..nearly the same. His skin looked pale and cold, but his lips were still as red as the roses that surrounded him. Probably makeup. He must have been perfectly preserved. Such a shame to die so young. I suppose I should be the gentleman and give him a proper burial.

Just as I’m leaning over him..his eyes open.

~*~

All I can do is stare.

His eyes were no longer the soft brown color they were in the portrait. They were a devilish red. He looks at me, and he smiles. I can see the sharp points of his fangs.

He’s a Vampire.

“My..aren’t you a handsome one~ Have you come to satiate my hunger~?”

“W-what..?”

“It’s been centuries, you know. It would be wonderful to have some..fresh blood~”

He sits up in his coffin and stretches the small bat like wings protruding from his back. There’s a predatory hunger in his eyes that I cannot look away from. Am I already under his spell?

“Tell me your name, handsome lad~”

“T-Thomas..”

“Such a fine name..and how kind of you to make my job easy for me~” I can see his eyes drift down to my open shirt and my exposed neck. The desire to protect myself is nothing compared to his hypnotic gaze. I can’t move my hands. All I can do is plead.

“Please..don’t kill me..”

“Foolish, handsome lad..why would I do that~?”

“Aren’t you..a Vampire..? Isn’t that..what you do..?”

He scoffs and tosses his hair. “Perhaps if I were a savage. But you..you look too good to kill~ I think I’d like to keep you around for a while. Drinking pure, untainted blood such as yours will keep me young and beautiful~”

“I..I will not be your personal blood bag..!!”

“As if you have a choice~” He laughs, stands up and steps out of the coffin, careful not to crush any of the roses. “I am your Master now, dear Thomas~ You will be whatever I need you to be~”

Compulsion. That is all that’s left in me now.

The compulsion to obey.

“W-whatever you wish, my Master..”

~END~

#back on my Vampire shit~#KISS AU writings #Paul x Tommy

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artemisia-black · 2 years

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Nearly Headless Nick: An earthbound soul.

One of the main themes of the Harry Potter series is Death. And within this theme there are several sub themes including an exploration of earth-bound immortality (the series also explores metaphysical immortality).

This is largely conducted through three main characters/story arcs:

Nicholas Flamel and the Philosopher's stone

Voldemort and the Horcruxes

Nearly Headless Nick (for the purposes of not having to type out his name I’m going to call him Nick from this point on) and the ghosts.

In this meta I will explore the philosophical underpinnings of ghostly existence. Although like the metaphysical philosophy I’m citing this will be more of a musing then a definitive meta.

1.0 The Headless hunt: Nick’s search for purpose

Throughout history philosophers and theologians have grappled with ideas about the meaning of life and as a logical extrapolation, the idea of immortality.

Throughout his body of work, the British philosopher Bernard Williams grapples with the desirability of immortality. And he explored the concept of what he called ‘ categorical desires,’ - the earthly desires that keep us alive (or in the case of ghosts keeps earth-bound existence meaningful). These can be defined as obtaining a degree, starting a family etc.

However, Williams argues that categorical desires can be exhausted by both satisfying them and losing interest in them. Even with the prospect of eternity, categorical desires are exhaustible. When discussing a play by Karel Capek (which explores the immortal life of a 342 year old woman, Williams states that:

“Her unending life has come to a state of boredom, indifference, and coldness. Everything is joyless” (Williams,1973:82).

It is worth noting that this play explores a corporeal woman who can influence the physical world around her.

However, Nick does demonstrate ‘categorical desire’, and his need to join the Headless Hunt can be read through this lens:

“But you would think, wouldn’t you,” he erupted suddenly, pulling the letter back out of his pocket, “that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt?” CoS

Through this desire, Nick is attempting to bring meaning back into his existence, to work towards a desire in order to fill the unending void of eternity.

2.0 The earthbound soul

Within the Harry Potter universe, the ghosts linger in the liminal space between life and death, veritable proof of an after-life yet having no knowledge of it.

Indeed Nick states that he:

“I……was afraid of death,” said Nick. “I chose to remain behind. I sometimes wonder whether I oughtn’t to have ... Well, that is neither here nor there... In fact, I am neither here nor there...” He gave a small sad chuckle. “ OoTP

The ghosts are earth bound, yet cannot influence the physical space around them nor partake in any earthly delights. At the Deathday party, Harry asks one of the ghosts (who was floating through the rotten food):

“Can you taste it if you walk through it?” Harry asked him.

“Almost,” said the ghost sadly, and he drifted away." CoS

Yet they are conscious and have ‘memory’ of who they were when they were alive. Nick describes it as:

“........an imprint….”

“ upon the earth, to walk palely where their living selves once trod….” OoTP

Indeed the construct of ghosts within HP, are congruent with the philosophical thinking of Rene Descartes.

In Meditations on First Philosophy, published in 1641, Descartes states that:

“ There is an outer world, which includes my body, but I could still exist even if it were all destroyed.”

He later furthered this idea, by merging the idea of mind and soul and exploring the dualism of the physical realm with the mental. In a letter to Princess Elizabeth of Bohemia, Descartes writes:

“…..These arise…from the close and intimate union of our mind with the body. This list includes, first, appetites like hunger and thirst; secondly, the emotions or passions of the mind that do not consist of thought alone, such as the emotions of anger, joy, sadness, and love; and finally, all the sensations….”

This sentiment echoes the ghost’s desire for food which is a recurring theme within canon. Indeed the first time Nick is introduced he states:

“I haven’t eaten for nearly five hundred years,” said the ghost. “I don’t need to, of course, but one does miss it.” PS

Within the HP universe, the idea of an immortal soul is a recurring motif. Yet the idea of an earthbound soul free of its body is one which is either deemed morally repugnant (in the case of horcruxes) or the shadow of human life.

In conclusion, while providing comic relief and a sense of wonder, the ghosts can also be interpreted as a metaphorical interpretation of immortality. And whether an immortal existence is a desirable one.

#harry potter meta #harry potter #nearly headless nick #wizarding world #random hungover musings

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theredconqueror · 7 months

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@mystraguideme continued...

"Oh so entirely the opposite of what you muse, I know not where to start." A gentle shake of his silver-chestnut haired head, his earring set to dangle like a fairy wind-chime. "This is far different from a thirsting hunger like one may have for the Arcane secrets of the world. It is far colder, isolating, a dread hunger."

"Before this I was a brilliant Wizard. My skills knew no bounds, the Weave flowed through everything I did, I understood spells before learning even their names. I have been reduced to a shell, be it a humbled one, of my former prowess. All because this netherese orb is syphoning my very essence to keep from exploding. Simply put I'm further from being in tune than I ever have been."

Gale grits his sharp lined teeth, a pained expression painting his face. Something wasn't right. By now he should be feeling much better, yet for some reason the orb didn't feel sated, it almost felt hungrier. "So yes, if it was not clear, it is all wretched."

He does oh so well in masking all that he feels as he listens to the other. Oh, yes, now he understands it completely... Blue eyes linger on the other like water, shining and flickering from the campfire. "Famine..." The word echoes out and coincidently, the evening air almost seemed to feel a bit chillier. It will be a word that will call to the orb, to its purpose, to that who made it so, who made all things that were like this so. Dearest little brother... He is fond of Famine, though their connection is more so on baser instincts. Not so much for politics, for all the intricacies of lies and plans and plots. Still, they usually get along well. But all else Gale describes: well, that's more his domain. The yearning for knowledge. To push past all boundaries; moral, magical, all of them. "I see." He does. Oh, he understands more than ever could imagine he could. "And how did you possibly end up with that thing inside you? When you say humbled, well, sounds like there's a story there..."

#mystraguideme #v: let them dedicate their lives to your glory ; let them kill to be near you. you are above all

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gayestgoodestgirl · 3 months

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I had a dream last night that i was a vampire.

First off I'll be honest, I've seen people discuss it but I'd never really cared a ton about vampire media. I enjoyed the aesthetic and things like WWDITS but that was pretty much it, until now.

I already had a slight biting kink + oral fixation but only because necks are an erogenous zone for my gf and I, and I'd seen plenty of horny vampire content, as well as plenty of posts analyzing the deeper emotional themes of the genre, but none of it ever really resonated with me.

That is, until it somehow wormed its way into my subconscious and gave me an incredibly vivid dream, which gave me a vampire kink apparently? which I wanna tell y'all about

⚠️Cw for discussion of blood, vampirism (so, cannibalism i guess?) as well as bloodlust that may resonate with stories of addiction? under the cut:

I became a vampire, Somehow™ (i don't think me getting turned was even in the dream, I'd just recently become one at the time of the dream's beginning.) I was able to survive in the sun, but it caused me to get exhausted and hungry much faster, although I didn't realize this until later. My girlfriend gave me a small vial of her blood, in hopes that I could just a drop at a time to sustain me and it'd be fine. Just one drop was exhilarating, but it did do the trick for a while and we happily did some chores (we’d obtained some old run-down property and were renovating it so we could live there together.)

Around noon though, I was hungry again and went back to my room to have just a little more, dabbing another drop on my fingertip but it was so good that i kept clumsily attempting to add "Just one more drop. Alright, a few more drops. Hmm fine, just a little bit more and I'll be satisfied." But I was so clumsy and shaky and ravenous that before I knew it my fingers were covered in her blood and the vial was almost empty, in my other hand. Drinking it was like taking a tiny bite of the most satisfying meal imaginable except it also gave me this intensely arousing tingly feeling that only got more powerful the more I tasted.

I still remember what it felt like. The thirst felt like physical hunger, combined with a sort of arousal and sexual desire? But even if I wasn't physically hungry, there was still always the desire in the back of my mind, the absolute certainty of how good it would taste, how good it would feel to have even a single drop, or how absolutely incredible the pleasure would be to just give in and let loose. I got the inexplicable feeling that drinking straight from the source without holding back would transcend the word "orgasmic." It wasn't some supernatural compulsion to do something i didn't want to, just a inexplicably deep-seated knowledge of what it would be like, and the scary part was that despite the implications of taking that much blood from a human, part of me still wanted it so badly, part of me knew it would feel better than anything else I could ever do.

I managed to regain my composure and stop myself from finishing off the last little bit and went back to what I was doing with Joy. I was worried about the appetite but hoping it would be sated for now and I wouldn't have to worry about it for a while, but with all the work I was doing in the sun, the hunger came back even stronger and faster this time until I was clinging onto her arm for support, my cheek resting on her shoulder as we sat on a bench for a break just after dusk.

She was so warm, her skin was so close. My breaths quick as my face grew sweaty and flushed from exhaustion and bloodlust. So hungry. So needy. But so guilty and embarrassed about how badly I wanted it, and the fact that it took so much effort to keep myself from outright begging to bite her. All I could do was whimper "I want more, I want more" even though I knew it was an extremely dangerous slope and I didn't want to hurt her.

Of course at that point, dream logic kicked in and a character from a video game I like suddenly appeared and instantly developed maximum companion affinity and created a system where I would just automatically and harmlessly receive a decent-sized blood vial every day, no hassle, and then I woke up.

It made me a little uncomfortable, it was a more vivid and complex depiction of the psychological horror aspect of vampirism than I'd ever seen, and It's been stuck in my mind literally all day. It made me a bit uncomfortable because I slowly realized, I wanted it. I really wanted it.

I still remember what it felt like, the sheer sensation of it. It was so intense and satisfying yet still afterwards, I just wanted more. and there was this sense of certainty that it would be even better if i only gave in to the urge. The feeling was so addictive that even in my waking hours, a part of me hoped I might have a dream like that again even though I felt ashamed about it.

The dream made me understand the underlying themes of vampirism more than anything else had, it really got across the conflict of like, “i love humans, especially the ones closest to me, who love and take care of me despite the monster i’ve become. i want them to be safe in return for their kindness but i’ve become a creature that requires their blood to survive. i want to take as little as i can to protect them from myself but i'm so hungry and drinking their blood feels so good and i know i won’t be able to control myself forever.”

The idea of being truly, genuinely needy, with the knowledge that to fulfill your own needs is often to also take something from someone else. I guess the kinky part, the part that resonated with me is that someone might see that "monstrous" need of yours, the hunger that you want them to sate, and even though they should be afraid of it, afraid of you... they would love you anyways and do their best to help you fulfill your need even though it feels so sinful to want/accept that help. And also biting is hot, I guess.

#blood #tw blood #vampirism #tw cannibalism #(maybe?)#vampire kink #eroticizing the monstrous #long post #vampire literature #tw addiction

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infranscia · 7 months

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Everything Wrong with Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scarlet (almost)

So not too long ago, Steam alerted me that a number of Sherlock Holmes games were on sale. Realizing that I wasn't really familiar with this classic, beloved icon, I figured it was about time to change that and - for now - started by buying a low-price, little bundle.

I also decided to check if the books were public domain yet, and was glad to find out that they just became public domain this year.

Turns out, Doyle had a tendency to include a lot of foreign cultures, and/or foreign persons of note, in the Holmes stories. And I'm guessing there's a fairly strong tendency to get details wrong, or at least for them to be fantasized - based on whatever stereotypes and whatnot were most available at the time, if I had to guess.

At the very least... imagine the awkwardness when I found that in the very first book, it had a HIGHLY INACCURATE - and stereotypical - portrayal of early members of my religion. 😅

So... Yeah. Here I am to debunk as many inaccuracies as I can. 😂

Feel free to take things with a grain of salt - I know a lot of the stereotypes - and flaws of members - tend to lead to people disliking us, and you probably don't have much reason to take my word about things.

...Also, I'm not the most studied when it comes to history - including my religion - so I may have some details wrong. 😅 Still, I'll try my best.

Major spoilers for A Study in Scarlet below the line - especially the second half - including some content that some people may be sensitive to (it IS a murder mystery... among other things).

Also: don't expect this to be short. There's a lot to cover, I'm VERY detail oriented, and I ramble a LOT. ...This took me days to make. (I'm not even doing any more error-checking than a spell check, and such, because I just want to get this done. 😵)

(Note: This post also exists as a Skiff document.)

Okay, I guess I'm coming out more-strongly as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints here - essentially born and raised, actually (not so much a convert). As I mentioned, there's a lot of stereotypes, bad-blood, and such where we're involved, so I haven't exactly been in a habit of being public about it. 😂 I guess I'll see how this goes.

I'll note that Doyle actually got enough of the setting accurate that I was able to guess what he was leading up to before the reveal was dropped: the description of the desert in the middle of North America, with the wagon trails, and occasional bones of both people and oxen, was more than enough to ring familiar. The average Church member - especially those who have been raised in the Church, or are otherwise longtime members - will easily recognize these as being elements of stories of what we call early Church pioneers.

And while I had to look it up, I was able to confirm that there were at least some areas where the soil and/or water was alkali. However, it doesn't look like it was anywhere near as alkali as Doyle made it out to be. (Heck, I'm not sure it'd be possible.) I'm also not sure the alkali areas were as widespread as it seems like they're being portrayed, but as far as I'm concerned, this is a relatively minor detail.

...Anyhow, I looked back over the second part of the book and tried to go over things roughly in order... so what I'm starting with may seem a little odd. 😆

For a bit of context for anyone who might not have read, this part of the story starts with a flashback, focusing on a couple weary travelers in the desert - a man, John Ferrier, dying of thirst and hunger; and a young girl, Lucy, 5 years old. They're discovered by what appears to be a very large wagon company.

Travelers seem to have knowledge of nearby wells, possible dangerous areas to avoid, etc.

Okay, maybe my lack of historical knowledge is showing, but I do wonder how much of this they could've known. Maybe a lot of the stuff originally came from Sacajawea, or something, but I also wonder how wells could've already been found and built.

The verbiage of members is generally flowery, using fancy names for God, etc.

This is hard to pick-apart without going into even more detail than I'm already going to include. But basically, we prefer to keep things simple, easy-to-understand, etc.

Going into a specific example as I bring up something else...

“He who could draw it from the rocks will not now abandon His own chosen people.” “Amen! Amen!” responded the whole party."

We don't respond to random declarations like that, esp. with the double-amen. Yes, we'll say "amen" in unison - ONCE - after the end of things like prayers, talks (sort of our version of "sermons"), testimonies, and maybe a few other things, but that's about it. And it's not a shout (no exclamation point).

Honestly, at this point, I think most of us do it mostly just out of habit and tradition than much anything else. 😅 Something we're advised against, occasionally, but it's hard not to do stuff like that.

I'll touch on the "chosen people" thing later.

There appears to be absolutely no struggles of traveling members to hold onto faith

This appears to be a common misconception with religious groups, in general. But anyhow, our stories of Church pioneers are FULL of instances of people struggling to hold onto faith that things might work out, if not faith in their religion as a whole.

They're also full of stories of how they tried to hold onto faith. My favorite, so far, involves a woman noticing flowers growing in the desert (the desert rose, IIRC). She figured that if delicate flowers could make it in the harsh desert, then she could, too. 😊

"Brother" and "Sister" used, fairly strictly, as titles/honorifics for members.

While it is part of our culture to refer to each-other as "Brother/Sister such-and-such," something about the usage portrayed feels a little too strict and formal.

The honorific (if you can call it that?) is used most-often during church-related activities (meetings, asking for help in Church-related thing, etc.). We tend to use it fairly casually in such settings - if anything, we may see it as sort of a term of endearment. Still, it's not uncommon to drop it in casual settings, esp. with close friends, or children/younger members.

It's also one of those things where, if you grow up with it, it becomes so habit and routine that it's easy to forget the reason for it. 😅 So much, that I'm finding some conflicting information on the reasons when I try to look it up. 🤔

Some of the results I'm finding are articles that do mention the interpretation of us all being 'baptized as brothers and sisters in Christ.' However, I think the interpretation I was taught, that I prefer, and that's found in the Church manual (which I consider more official that articles, which are typically written by members, rather than leaders), is that it's based on the Gospel principle that we're all (everyone, not just members) LITERAL children of God - and thus a spiritual family. 😄

As such, sometimes members will refer to non-members as "Brother/Sister," especially if they're visiting (as we call it) in a Church meeting, or in another Church-based setting.

(And I'm gonna give a side-note because I'm sure some people are going to wonder: setting aside the politics of our views on gender, it is common for Church teachers to mention, without being asked, that they don't know how it's supposed to work for intersex people [even if they don't usually use that term, or similar ones]. Giving a quick search, there don't appear to be any specific rules - only a firm recommendation to be considerate. I wouldn't be surprised if some people use "Sibling," however. ...And NGL, I haven't heard it myself, but I suspect that a lot of debate crops up... esp. in the cases where it's really relevant... 😞)

"Elder" is used, multiple times, like a title of high status.

Actually, as far as priesthood titles go, "Elder" is the lowest-ranking. I know it's confusing, but a guy can become an Elder - and is generally expected to be, and encouraged to try to be worthy in advance - at the age of 12, well before he'd be considered an adult (at least nowadays).

(TBH, I'm not sure why they're called "elders" - maybe there's some linguistic drift going on? Might be worth looking into, but I'm not focusing on that right now - it's something that, I'll admit, the average member seems to have forgotten about. 😅)

But yeah, an Elder pretty much just has the most basic level of priesthood, which comes with the authority to bless and pass the sacrament, and to help with blessings (a sort of prayer) for health and such. Maybe a few other, simpler things. That said, one does need to be an Elder before he can be other things, like a High Priest, Bishop, Stake President, etc.

John adopting Lucy is taken totally in-stride.

Not that we're against adoption or anything - in fact, the Church has its own adoption services, which focuses on helping unmarried, expecting teens find parents to potentially raise their child; and for married couples, esp. (or solely?) those who can't have their own children, to find a child/children to take in and care for.

Anyhow, still: it's not a major issue, but it still seems odd. Like everyone else, we tend to find intrigue where adopted children and the like are involved, getting curious about the birth parents, etc.

Also, we have a strong emphasis on family and genealogy (or as we prefer to call it, family history), so there's an even stronger reason to wonder where Lucy came from.

No apparent help is offered in raising Lucy - there's relatively little talk of help, in-general.

Like I mentioned, we have a strong emphasis on family. (Esp. traditional families - not looking to get political or anything, and I'm not going to try to preach; I'm trying to just be honest here about our beliefs, culture, etc. I won't argue, even if you try to start an argument. So I'd prefer if you don't bother.)

Similarly, lot of church members absolutely adore children. And on top of that, there's a lot of emphasis on service (as in helping people out) - members are particularly encouraged to help families in need, and such.

Heck, one of our most-commonly-quoted scriptures states "when ye are in the service of you fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (Mosiah 2:17)

As such, I find it VERY hard to believe that a lot of the members - especially the women - would NOT immediately start to talk about how adorable Lucy is, and offer to help take care of her.

Similarly, there would probably quickly be talk of sharing water and rations with John - maybe suggesting he ride in one of the carts, to regain his strength.

The group help up the castaways up at the start, and there are some onlookers showing shock and pity... but that's about it, as far as I can tell.

“[T]here seems to be a powerful lot of ye.” “Nigh upon ten thousand [saints]” (No mention of who's in charge of this group.)

I had to look up the numbers on this one, and it took me a little while to find the right articles and sort through the details, esp. with the order I ran into the info. 😅

This Church article/infographic probably gives a good balance of info, and readability. This other article also gives some good info, and goes into a little more detail.

As the second article puts it, "It is difficult to identify an exact number of individuals who came to Utah[...]because not all the company rosters were turned in to the Church." However, numbers are estimated from 60k-70k.

This said, it's pretty common knowledge among Church members that they didn't all travel as one group, even if we don't always know the details. This said, Church pioneers were organized into 250+ companies - mostly wagon companies, with 10 handcart companies making up about 3,000 members total. The exact size of companies varied, but it looks like they averaged somewhere around 250 people, give-or-take.

Each company had a captain - some companies were known by the name of their captain. E.g. the handcart company captained by Edward Martin - the biggest of the handcart companies, according to this wiki page - was also known as the Martin (Handcart) Company. And apparently, companies were further divided into smaller and smaller groups, each group with their own captains - presumably, captains of smaller groups reported to captains of larger groups (that's how we tend to do things).

Interestingly, Church members tend to focus on the handcart companies, and not the wagon companies, to the point where I didn't know there was a distinction until until I stumbled upon this other infographic. The first thing I found with my search was actually this Church lesson guide" with a lot of info, including a map of their route. From the looks of it, I'm thinking the handcart companies probably made their own journey - it might explain a few things. 🤔 But I'm rambling...

(Still... since the infographic mentions the transcontinental railroad, I'll throw in a tidbit I think is fun: Apparently, the handcarts and wagons left such deep impressions in the ground that they were actually used when first laying down railroads. Thus, the width of railroads and trains is based on the width of those carts and wagons. 😀)

But yeah, whether going by the total numbers, or the size of a company, Doyle got something off there. 😅

“[W]e are the persecuted children of God—the chosen of the Angel Merona.”

First off, I dunno if it's a typo or what, but it's technically the angel Moroni.

Secondly - and I'm just going from how I've heard things talked about - while it's true they were persecuted a lot, along with the other hardships, I don't think it's likely that they would've focused on the fact that they were persecuted to the point that they would introduce themselves that way. More likely, they'd introduce themselves by naming their religion from the getgo - either in full or by the (now defunct) nickname of "Mormons".

Third and most important... we don't do the "chosen people" thing, and especially not chosen by an angel.

While we believe in angels, they don't have the same level of importance as in other Christian sects - esp. Catholic, I think; correct me if I'm wrong.

(And you may debate terminology, but we do consider ourselves Christian, because we believe in the same Christ that's in the Bible. The Book of Mormon even includes another version of the Sermon on the Mount.)

While we're vaguely aware of how some Christians put a lot of focus on angels, saints (as they define them - to us, any member is technically a "saint," regardless of how "saintly" they might be 😅), and specific demons in their belief systems, that's about the extent that most of us know. The average member isn't likely to be able to name any of them, esp. the saints and demons. I'm taking a guess that the list of angels includes those in the Bible (e.g. Gabriel), but if you asked the average member, odds are you'd get a blank stare, and an answer of "Uh... I dunno."

Putting the metaphorical definition aside, we see angels more as messengers and servants of God - they do His work as He directs, and like with living Church members, they won't have any authority unless He gives it to them.

The authority to choose people like that is not one of those that would be given, even if we considered it a thing, in general.

The Book of Mormon has mentions God not being "a respecter of persons" - as does the Bible, come to do a search. Or for those who don't know the term, the idea is that He doesn't favor people based on age, race, gender, level of freedom, etc. 2 Nephi 26:33 is one verse with that includes the spiel on the latter part. (I'll touch on a scripture that mentions the first part later, because of the context.)

In fact, there's actually a story in the Book of Mormon that talks about ancient missionaries (on the American continent) being shocked to discover a religion basically centered around that belief: people taking turns standing on a tower, giving an identical prayer, thanking God for letting them know that they were chosen to be saved while everyone else should perish, then departing and not even mentioning their religion until they gather again the next week...

The religion in that story is VERY MUCH used by Church members as an example of what NOT to do. 😅

In any case, if there was any choosing going on, it would be done by God - or maybe Jesus - and it would basically be choosing people who give Him respect, and already follow his teachings. NOT that He would choose a people to give teachings to for some, arbitrary reason.

“We are of those who believe in those sacred writings, drawn in Egyptian letters on plates of beaten gold, which were handed unto the holy Joseph Smith at Palmyra["]

While not that far off, for the most part, it is definitely romanticized, and feels like a very weird way for us to talk about this.

For the nitpicks, the writing wasn't drawn so much as etched or engraved - we tend to just say "written." That's the most common word in the BoM.

I don't think there's info on how the plates were made - it's not mentioned in the BoM as far as I can remember, or find, and it's hard to find a detailed description. One description I heard made them sound kind of like thick pieces of foil, though our typical portrayal is something like golden pieces of sheet metal, with D-ring bindings. And we tend to just call them "the gold(en) plates." That said, "beaten" sounds more-right than one, mistaken voiceclip I heard that called them "tablets" (which sounds WAY more heavy and impractical).

I'm having trouble remembering, or finding, the scriptural reference, but as fancy as the fact that it's gold sounds, I understand there was a practical reason: materials like paper and parchment tend to rot, and other metals tend to rust or tarnish over time. (And, of course, stone is hard to use in a space-efficient way, and tends to crack.) I understand modern science vouches for this.

Speaking of, it's odd that the mention of the style of writing is mentioned first - we usually say things like "...from (the) golden plates, translated by Joseph Smith." The bit about the kind of writing usually has less emphasis.

Still, the writings are described as reformed Egyptian. I don't know why the writing is considered "reformed," but the reason given for using reformed Egyptian (and not Hebrew) was so they could fit more writing into less space. I imagine that the fact that it was difficult to engrave words on plates - as one writer in the BoM mentions - might've been a factor.

(Speaking of Hebrew, the primary people focused on in the BoM report themselves as decendants of Joseph of Egypt, son of Jacob - the one with the fancy coat who was sold into slavery by his brothers.)

The plates weren't handed to Joseph Smith - they were revealed to him. Basically, they were buried in a (stone?) box, with a biggol rock for a lid, with some other items inside. Moroni is the one who showed the location to him (being the one who hid them in the first place - he's the last author in the BoM).

Finally, I understand this is a common misconception, but like with angels and saints, we don't worship prophets.

...Or at least, we're not supposed to. Though the way a lot of members act, I think there's a tendency to effectively worship the prophets... 😅

But no, it's not part of our doctrine to do so. We never say "holy Joseph Smith." We're likely to say "the prophet, Joseph smith," but we never put the word "holy" in there. It gives the wrong kind of impression.

"We have come to seek a refuge from the violent man and from the god-less"

I'm generally inclined to agree with the "violent man" part. But a lot of the persecuters were members of other Christian sects. We would call them FAR from "godless" - maybe a little misguided, and with a different view on the details, but we essentially believe that we worship the same God.

“We are the Mormons,” answered his companions with one voice.

First off, we don't have a hive-mind. I don't see any real reason why they'd answer in unison. It's not something we recite, or anything.

Secondly, as mentioned, the term "Mormons" has always been, at best, a nickname. It's never been an official name of the Church. We've been asked to abandon that nickname (and while we've got the biggest changes made it looks like we're still in the process of adjusting some smaller things, e.g. things on the website that aren't talking about the past). The main reason stated for this is that we want to emphasize the fact that Jesus Christ is a key part of our faith - even when we were still using the nickname, we emphasized the words Jesus Christ on our nametags, on the sides of our buildings, etc.

(Note: I'm including the word "Mormons" as a tag only because I think it'll be more-widely recognized, to help with visibility of this post. Otherwise, I'd leave it out.)

I think another major reason for abandoning the nickname is because it led to some confusion as to whether "Mormons" meant the same group. I've heard a story where some group was getting humanitarian aid, and someone apparently reported "We're getting help from two groups: the Mormons, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints." (Cue laughter.)

But yeah, the term "Mormons" actually started as an insult - presumably mostly by other Christians, on account of the fact that, besides the Bible, we had another book that we believed in (the Book of Mormon, of course).

IMO, the fact that members accepted the nickname at all is a pretty good indication of our tendency to be on the doormat-y side. 😅

And just to make sure: no, the Church was never named after the Book of Mormon. Nor was the Book of Mormon named after the church. It's named after the person who did most work compiling and condensing his people's records that later became the Book of Mormon. (Mormon, of course. ...Moroni's father.)

[...]and were surrounded by crowds of the pilgrims

Technically accurate (aside from the inferred size of the crowds), but like I sort of mentioned, we prefer the word "pioneers."

(This said, as a kid, I used to mix up Church Pioneers and "Thanksgiving" Pilgrims. 😅)

[...]until they reached a waggon, which was conspicuous for its great size and for the gaudiness and smartness of its appearance. Six horses were yoked to it, whereas the others were furnished with two, or, at most, four a-piece

No.

We don't really do flashy, and the companies had to be as practical as possible, and couldn't really pack much besides probably essentials. I'm pretty sure that a bunch of smaller, standard wagons would be more practical than one, big, fancy one.

Any fancy wagons like that would more-than-likely have been sold, to afford more, smaller wagons, or more food and other supplies.

Also, the text strongly infers that the big wagon is for the leader of the group. We don't give such deference. In fact, there's a lot of emphasis in our doctrine that the leaders have to work for a living as much as any other person. We don't pay our leaders with our tithing, or anything.

“If we take you with us [...] it can only be as believers in our own creed. We shall have no wolves in our fold. Better far that your bones should bleach in this wilderness than that you should prove to be that little speck of decay which in time corrupts the whole fruit

This is one struck me as wrong in so many ways...

As mentioned earlier, we have a very service-oriented culture. We believe VERY STRONGLY in helping others in need. We're not going to abandon someone to die in the wilderness just because they're not a member. Nor withhold food and water (as is done in this story until John Ferrier agrees to join).

Similarly, at this point, I'm pretty sure a lot of members would be converts, themselves. They don't have much reason to fear people just for being non-members because, at some point, most of them were non-members - they already know that one can very well come into the fold, of their own volition. (Also, it's already established that these two were Christians, already.)

If anything, members are more likely to be afraid of physical danger, especially after all they've been through. And a dying man and a small girl are NOT going to be a physical threat. (Not to mention that, again, there's no hive-mind: more likely, if anything different members might have different ideas. This said, as kind of a side-note intra-faith politics seem to be something rarely touched on outside of of the faith in question, regardless of the religion/sect/etc.)

ALSO! We have a VERY STRONG belief in freedom of religion. In fact, one of the things we try to have members memorize - the Articles of Faith, written by Joseph Smith as a summary of our beliefs, after being asked about it - talks about it. Specifically number 11, which states:

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege. Let them worship how, where, or what they may.

*checks* ...Only some spelling errors (corrected) and one punctuation difference (left in). Still got it! 😁

But yeah, the decision to join the Church is supposed to be a choice. Even little children aren't technically considered members - we're supposed to wait until they're old enough to decide for themselves (officially, eight years old - with possible exceptions for people with mental challenges needing more time; Lucy is actually too young at this time in the story). ...That said, I'll touch on some more stuff in the next segment...

But yeah, a more likely response would be something like giving an invitation to learn of our teachings while along the way. And even if they ended up declining in the end, the two probably be allowed to live alongside the members, or helped to find another place to live if they so chose.

I was going to go even longer with this, but I think I'll actually put those comments under the next point...

John Ferrier and Lucy appear to be considered members as soon as John agrees to it - or as soon as Brigham Young makes it official

The direct authority of the President of the Church is not required for membership. More on this, later.

Besides that, Doyle missed a very important step in the process of becoming a member:

BAPTISM!

(And the laying on of hands for the Gift of the Holy Ghost, but that comes after baptism... which tends to get more focus, anyhow, to the point where I think the gift of the Spirit is underrated...)

But yeah, the importance of baptism as a part of becoming a member is VERY MUCH emphasized in the Church.

We also note the importance of baptism by immersion - i.e. after a priesthood holder gives a prayer, he briefly dips the person into the water and pulls them back out, like John the Baptist did with Jesus. A fairly common saying is "Don't sprinkle yourself with the Gospel! Immerse yourself in it!"

There's also another important thing with baptism (which I bet some people are wondering about)...

WE DON'T DO INFANT BAPTISMS!!

Aside from the obvious safety reasons and such, and the part I mentioned earlier about how it's meant to be a choice (John shouldn't be able to make the decision for Lucy), there's another important element: while we do consider baptism an important element that has to do with "washing away sin" (or remitting it, technically), our definition of sin is to knowingly, and willfully, act against what you already know to be true.

Naturally, it takes a while for children to get a real sense of right and wrong. As such, little children are considered incapable of sinning.

Heck... there's an entire chapter in the Book of Mormon (Moroni 8) that's dedicated to this.

But yeah, like I mentioned earlier, eight years old is basically when you're officially considered old enough to decide for yourself. It's also what's known as the age of accountability - i.e. when you're old enough to have a sense of right and wrong (barring some exceptions), and are considered responsible for your actions.

Kids who die before the age of eight are basically believed to get a free pass into heaven. (No, we don't encourage trying to make this happen...)

But yeah, like mentioned, Lucy is five years old at this part of the story. She wouldn't technically be eligible.

And technically, even kids who grow up in the Church, with their parents as members, aren't considered members, themselves. (Though if their parents already had a temple marriage, the children are considered born in the covenant - basically already connected to their parents so they can potentially stay together, eternally.)

Though yeah, along with the basic Gospel principles, a big part of Primary (children's) lessons - esp. the littler children - is helping them get ready for baptism.

...Or trying to...

I'm going to go on a tangent, but I think it's an important one: baptism is really supposed to be something that a person decides to do, for themselves. However, with the way lessons are taught - and particularly, with the way the songs we sing are worded - we end up not so much helping children understand that they decide whether they want to be baptized, as we try to get them excited for baptism... like, for "when" it happens. Not "if."

(And in a way, it's not just with baptism. This type of thing is something that never really sat well with me, even as a kid.)

I don't know the ratio/percentage/whatever, but I do know that part of the end result is that at least some children end up not realizing that they're supposed to choose whether to get baptized, or not. I know that was the case for me, and I've definitely heard that I'm not the only one.

Heck, I remember being taught baptism is "a choice." But the way my teachers talked about choice, I actually didn't realize that "to choose" and "to decide" were synonyms... if anything, I perceived them as antonyms - I didn't see baptism as MY choice: I heard it as a choice that was made FOR me.

As such, I never even realized that I was supposed to be able to say "No"...

...and at the time, I REALLY would've liked to have known that. 😓

So... yeah. It's sadly very possible for children to effectively be baptized unwillingly - which actually goes against our doctrine. (I'll note that I, personally, probably would've voluntarily gone through with it at age 12, but at eight? Yeah... no. 😅)

But yeah, I can hope that things have been shifting. However, since I haven't really been involved in Primary classes since I attended, myself, I can't say what the trends are, at least for my local Ward (congregation/small geographical area).

Still, the idea that even a SINGLE child might be put through that? That the parents and teachers might fail to realize the agency involved in the process? It REALLY troubles me...

It is DEFINITELY something that I think the Church - or at LEAST Church members - need to do better on. 😢

...anyway, continuing... (And no pun intended, because of what the next one is.)

["]Forward! On, on to Zion!”

It's hard to say with the context, but for starters, this seems to be portrayed less as a rallying cry, and more as a chant. We don't do chants. (Which I guess might be part of what I've been trying to say, already.)

Regardless, this phrasing includes a common misconception: While the word "Zion" can refer to geographical locations, it's defined more as "the pure in heart." (And one of the few geographical locations mentioned in that link is in Missouri, not Utah.)

Similarly, I vaguely remember being told in Church lessons that's less of a place and more of a people.

But yeah, the more common phrasing we use is about establishing or building Zion. Sometimes we might use the word "gathering," though it's noted that while it was more literal back then, it's more metaphorical these days.

...Kind of makes it hard for members to travel onward to - even back then. 😜

And I know how cult-ish this might sound, but to me, right after this is mentioned seems like an appropriate time for the traveling members to break out into a hymn. I understand that early Church members did sing hymns along the way - not for any strict, religious reason so much as to try and keep their spirits up on the long, hard, dangerous journey.

["...]remember that now and forever you are of our religion. Brigham Young has said it, and he has spoken with the voice of Joseph Smith, which is the voice of God.”

...Well, props to Doyle for getting the names right, at least.

Whether or not this is inaccurate depends on definition, intention, and interpretation. However, given the phrasing (which we would never use), it sounds like the idea that essentially anything and everything the President of the Church says is also the Word of God.

That's not accurate. While they're authorized to speak the Word of God, they are still their own people, separate from God, and still very prone to mistakes. Heck, I know that my mom and I, at least, still like observing the occasional moment that reminds us that our Church President is still human.

Examples include:

Saying we're now going to sing a hymn we've already sung, then looking confused for a moment while one of the other Church Leaders walks up and turns the page on the program he's reading from.

Saying something (I don't remember what) and having his wife correct him. Immediately turns to wife and says "Oh, is that it?"

There's a rather comical moment where President Monson (already Church President) wiggled his ears in front of a live congregation. (And here's a link to the talk in question in case the video stops working. Linked to the paragraph in question, though there's an non-shortened video at the top.)

Heck, I've even heard a story where Joseph Smith, reportedly, gave a talk during one congregation. The week afterward, he came back and said something to the effect of "Last week was Joseph Smith talking. This week is God talking."

And then he apparently said pretty much the opposite of what he'd said the week before.

(I couldn't find a record of this story with a search of the Church website - it could be the quote I heard isn't accurate enough. Or maybe, if there IS an actual record, then it hasn't been transcribed to digital format, yet. Or both.

Still, even if just as a metaphor/analogy/allegory, I think it gets the idea across. 😉)

The area is referred to as "Utah" - mentioned as being a state

There are a number of contradictions here. Church settlers actually called the area Deseret, which is a word which the Book of Mormon lists as meaning "honey bee."

We kind of took on honey bees (and beehives) as a not-super-official symbol (i.e. not part of the doctrine, but part of the culture). The honey bee is seen as a symbol of industry - e.g. hard work. Industry is still the state motto - similarly, we're known as the Industry state - and similarly, the state emblem is still the beehive, and the state insect is still the honeybee. (Reference link.) Heck, the state flag still has a beehive on it. (Though a few years ago, someone made a proposal to remove it... go figure... Doesn't seem to have gone through, though, AFAIK.)

This said, while Deseret (the region) could be said to have been established in 1947 (I think), it wasn't made an official state until 1896. (For reference, the later particular part of the story, after a timeskip, is listed as taking place in 1860.)

Heck, the term "Deseret" is still used in some Church-related things. Examples include Deseret Industries (a Church-based thrift store/charity shop), Deseret Book (a Church-based book store, of course), and hymns such as In Our Lovely Deseret (which, IMO, is not one of our better hymns - not for musical reasons so much as the way it talks about certain things, particularly in the 2nd verse, where it addresses the Word of Wisdom* in such a negative way that that it gets kinda... contentious and prideful... heck, these days, younger members tend to have trouble getting through that verse without going quiet and laughing awkwardly).

But yeah, when it came time to make the area an official state, people apparently didn't like the idea of it being a religious reference (again...). So they suggested the name "Utah," meaning "tops of the mountains."

...We willingly accepted. 🤣

That said, importantly, as part of of the conditions for letting our area become a state, we were also forced to give up polygamy - which, predictably, is a major part of the story. More on that later.

But yeah. Again, from a number of different angles, there are contradictions on that front.

I think the story also mentioned members making trade with neighboring areas, though I'm having trouble finding the reference, assuming I didn't misremember. In any case, Nevada is mentioned a few times - not explicitly as a state, but still, Nevada wasn't established as a state until 1864. California is also mentioned once, in passing - this said, California actually WAS established as a state in 1850.

Heck, I'm actually not sure what, if any, relations we might've had at the time. 🤔 I'm not sure if we even used a real currency, at the time... I'm not having any luck finding references with a search on the Church site, and I'm not sure how I'd refine my search. 😅

*Some advice, given through Joseph Smith, with recommendations regarding diet and using (or rather, NOT using) certain substances. The part regarding stuff like drinking, tea**, and coffee is probably taken TOO seriously by members (like, a straight-up commandment), while the dietary parts tend to be forgotten (I remember another member saying "How many of us actually eat meat sparingly?" ...Heck, how do you quantify "sparingly"? 🤔)

**Herbal tea is controversial. I'll note that this type of tea was only invented in 1969, WAY after the Word of Wisdom was established. Members tend to debate whether it's the caffeine, the heat (the original wording for "tea and coffee" is technically "hot drinks" - Joseph Smith apparently had to clarify), or other details that are the issue.

Just to be safe, many members avoid even herbal teas. I'd basically decided to do the same thing (aside from trying to do a homemade, makeshift lemon-ginger tea - my family didn't have fresh lemons, OR fresh ginger 😅).

That is... until after I got prompted/impressed (basically, told by God directly, via the Holy Ghost) that I needed to get into herbal tea - starting with chamomile, to help me sleep better, and help manage my anxiety, somewhat. (I do cool it down. I prefer most of my drinks about room-temp, anyhow.)

I won't make a definitive claim on what this means for members as a whole, but I suspect that if it's okay for me, it's probably okay for the average member - most exceptions would probably be in the cases of stuff like allergies. For any members reading this, I recommend you stop trying to reason it out, and pray about it. ("Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5)

Anyhow, continuing with the point of this post...

All around farms were apportioned and allotted in proportion to the standing of each individual.

Again, no. We don't give deference to our leaders in that manner. Leaders aren't paid for their Church service (it's pretty much volunteer work).

If anything, farms would be allotted according to ability and/or need - e.g. bigger, and more-farm-handy families would get bigger farms, since they had the know-how, and more mouths to feed. Non-farmers would probably not get farms, instead getting something more in-line with what they already knew how to do. From what I understand, people would probably basically just do what they did best, and basically help each-other as needed.

From the great inland sea to the distant Wahsatch Mountains...

I don't know if this is a typo, but I know at least modernly, it's "Wasatch Mountains."

There's also a later mention of "Salt Lake Mountains." Personally, I never heard the term before reading this story. Looking at a few maps, it doesn't look like an official name: the character using the term is probably referring to the part of the Wasatch Mountains closest to Salt Lake City, or the Great Salt Lake, itself.

Actually, come to look, I think Doyle made another mistake, this one geographical: the story later talks about travelers heading through the mountains as they head for Nevada, but looking at it, there aren't very many mountains between Salt Lake and Nevada; definitely not as big or as dense to the ones east of Salt Lake (in the other direction). In fact, it's pretty much just desert.

Come to think, I've traveled to Nevada a few times, myself. This is pretty in-line with my own experiences: I can vouch that it's STILL mostly empty desert. 😅

Above all, the great temple which they had erected in the centre of the city grew ever taller and larger.

Even as I first read this, I felt like it gave the wrong impression: sure, the Salt Lake temple is fairly tall, and, in a way, kind of castle-like, but I consider it more wide or long. The use of "taller and larger" makes me think of the Tower of Babel (which, as you may or may not know, was supposed to be a shortcut into Heaven, which God punished people for - confounding their languages so they couldn't all communicate easily, breaking the tower down... I hear that was also when what's now known as Pangaea was separated into the different continents...).

Anyhow, I already knew there was at least one detail that probably put a kink in this description. And looking it up, I can give more detail:

In 1858, about five years into the initial construction of the Salt Lake Temple, the foundation of the temple was actually covered up, due to threat of war. (Which, I totally forgot about the war thing. And apparently, Doyle also either missed, or forgot about that detail. I think I remember the story saying something about basically having no outside threats... I either haven't found it yet, or I misremembered.)

But yeah, it wasn't until the next year that the foundation was uncovered again, and as this Primary lesson says...

After the problems with the government were resolved, President Young ordered the foundation uncovered. The workmen found that some of the mortar and small rocks used between the large foundation blocks had cracked and shifted. [...] The workers removed the small rocks and mortar and all of the sandstone blocks down to the first layer, replacing them with hard granite blocks.

In other words, starting in 1859 they had to completely dig up the foundation and start over.

A reminder that this part of the story takes place in 1860. Odds are that the temple hadn't even really reached above ground level, yet. 😅

This said, the temple also wasn't finished until 1892, over 30 years later. (The granite blocks they used had to be shipped in from distant mountains, carved out by hand... it was hard, slow work.)

So... yeah, the temple wouldn't grow tall(-ish) for some more years. And its original width was planned out from the beginning, so it wouldn't grow bigger on that front, either. 😅

Lucy remains motherless/John Ferrier remains unmarried/"celibate" (as Doyle put it)

Not inherently false, but I do think it fairly unlikely. Like I mentioned, there's a strong culture of helping each-other out, and I really do think that a lot of the members - esp. women - would've gushed over Lucy, offering to help with raising her. (It's not directly stated, but it's pretty strongly inferred that John didn't get ANY help on that front.) Women in particular are generally tasked with assisting those in need and offering relief - hence why the Church's organization of women is called the Relief Society.

So, yeah. I find it hard to believe that there wouldn't be other members visiting often, helping in her upbringing. I particularly find it hard to believe there wouldn't be any women to help out... and while not impossible, I find it unlikely that at least ONE wouldn't leave a strong enough impression on Ferrier that he'd want to marry her. 😉

Again, not inherently false... but I think it pretty unlikely. 😅

This said, while I think I should comment on the subject of marriage in general, I'll do it farther down.

He had always determined, deep down in his resolute heart, that nothing would ever induce him to allow his daughter to wed a Mormon./["]What is the thirteenth rule in the code of the sainted Joseph Smith? ‘Let every maiden of the true faith marry one of the elect; for if she wed a Gentile, she commits a grievous sin.’["]

I looked up this so-called quote and found nothing about it. (A search for an exact quote literally turns up 0 results.)

I've never heard of a "code of Joseph Smith" (and we wouldn't use the term "sainted"). My only guess on what he could mean is the Articles of Faith that I mentioned earlier, which, none of them mention marriage - not even the thirteenth and last one (which basically just talks about trying to be good people, and good to other people).

Farrier's opinion isn't inherently contradiction - given that opinions are, by nature, subjective, and this is a fictional character - it is supposed to give him a sort of conflict that sets the background of his story.

In any case, I think I should still touch on this at least briefly:

There isn't a hard-and-fast rule that says that you can't marry a non-member. It is generally seen as unwise, but not much more, I don't think. Heck, Idon't think it's technically even considered a sin. Sure, it would mean you couldn't be sealed in the temple - which basically means you'd be missing out on a number of blessings - but there's nothing that forbids it, AFAIK.

Well... maybe some parents forbid it, and people might treat you weirdly, but that's probably as close as it gets. 😅

...speaking of which...

[T]o express an unorthodox opinion was a dangerous matter in those days in the Land of the Saints.

I can't claim to have exact knowledge of what kind of tension might've been going on, by a longshot. I'll note that, yes, I wish I could say that this is 100% false. I've definitely heard of intra-Church conflicts as far back as before the Saints even traveled to Utah/Deseret, long before reading this Holmes story. 😔

Still, the story seemed largely and dramatically exaggerated. (Which, in my non-professional opinion and observation, it seems like non-members, particularly anti-Church groups, have a tendency to do. 😅 ...Heck, on a broader scale, people who are against something tend to make up false rumors about the thing that they hate. Why wouldn't the same apply with us? 😕) In any case, the story didn't fit with what I've been taught about Gospel doctrine, or Church history.

This said, I still tried to find a specific reference, and look it up. It took me a while, because I had trouble finding it again in the story - even when looking multiple times. 😅 I did find it, eventually, and have since looked it up... even if it meant rewriting this section. 😂 (Or at least part of it.)

The story basically describes members suddenly going missing if they express controversial viewpoints and whatnot. It mentions these appearances being done by a particular group, which is given a couple names - apparently the most common name for this group is the Danites.

I, personally, had never even heard of the Danites before reading this story. (And I think it would be pretty weird if non-members knew something that the average member doesn't. 😕) BUT! That said, apparently there's a bit of truth in that they were real.

Emphasis on "were." Very, very past-tense... and apparently short-lived, among other things.

I found a couple of particularly good pages on the subject: this one gives a little information. this one goes more in-depth on general violence in the days of early Saints... both received and, sadly, caused by some earlier members. (I linked specifically to the part on Danites, if you want to check it out, but keep it short.) The article doesn't make any attempt to condone such violence, but neither does it cover it up. If anything, I'd say it looks like it goes into pretty good balance of detail. Both pages link a number of references.

But yeah, looks like the story of the Danites is wildly exaggerated. To sum up, they didn't go to kill any member who had trouble with any little part of Church doctrine: their focus was on non-member an ex-member groups who posed a potential, physical threat to members as a whole.

Also - while I still won't claim this was appropriate - they mostly focused on burning, or stealing, property from these groups, with (apparently) only a few deaths caused... which, while not mentioned in the articles, it sounds to me like their primary goal was to deter and discourage groups who might attack the Church, with killing probably being a last resort. (Or possibly meant to be avoided, altogether, but there's no accounting for the actions of individuals in ANY group. 😑)

Third, they lasted less than half a year. They more-or-less stopped being a thing by the time Brigham Young became head of the Church (as he's supposed to be in this story).

There's more, but I think those would be the main points for the sake of this post (which is running VERY long as it is... and I'm not finished 😅).

I guess I'll note real quick that we also don't really do secret societies, though I'll touch more on that in another section.

As for what I'd already written, I decided to touch more on how things are these days, modernly. I'm including most of it, with some adjustments for the new context:

Sort of like I said earlier, I've never heard of a member suddenly vanishing, just because they weren't sure about one or two points of doctrine, or anything. There are PLENTY of members who will talk about this or that multiple times, across multiple weeks. 😅

As for doctrine in general. We do still believe that murder is a bad thing (we basically still use the Ten Commandments, among other things). Things like self-defense might be another story. Heck, there's a story in the Book of Mormon where it talks about some of the people - namely the Nephites - deciding to go to war for the sake of self-defense (they were attacked first). There's a couple verses back-to-back talking about how God told them when it's okay to defend themselves.

But still, outright murder? Just for not being 100% true to the Gospel? No. That would be horrendously hypocritical, and it would be very hard to justify it.

I've mentioned that, if anything, modern Church members tend to be more of doormats. 😅 A lot of us actually tend to avoid aggression, contention, etc. (At least... in public. 😂) It's to the point where lot of us have a lot of trouble being assertive, or standing up for ourselves and our beliefs, because (like many others) we're not sure how to be assertive without being aggressive... or prideful, which we're also warned against. 😅 (Though many still struggle with it. 😔)

This is not to say that we never do anything... not-so-kind when/if someone expresses a non-Gospel opinion, or anything. Like I inferred, a number of us may express our disapproval in-private, when the person(s) in question can't hear. 😅 In public, members are more likely to be avoidant than aggressive. (I've definitely heard stories of people being shunned for one reason or another... though typically not until they'd long already moved out or something. 😔)

But yeah, we have an emphasis on bringing people (back) to God. Leaving people in wickedness is more intimidating - we tend more toward a fear that comes from not wanting someone to be tormented for denying the Gospel, and not coming back to it. 😅 Put positively, as one of our scriptures puts it, "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" - a common quote among members.

This said, one of our most-common mistakes is that we tend to try to follow that more out of fear than of love. 😂 Or even when trying to be loving, we tend to accidentally give bad advice, accidentally insult people instead of showing empathy, all the usual stuff that a lot of people are known for. 😅

Heck, I'm not sure I've heard heard of any modern stories of a member getting violent - particularly not in that sense. That said, I'm not going to claim that violence never happens. Heck, I think it would be insane to assume that it never does. We're still human, after all.

I actually remember a young guy losing his temper at a Ward barbecue, once. 🤔 He mostly just yelled and jumped on a table - maybe threw a few light punches. Thankfully, someone managed to talk him down. 😅

(This said, I have heard stories of sexual assault within the Church. 😬 So... I think that's a pretty good indicator that physical violence probably happens, at least occasionally... 😔)

But yeah, the Church doesn't condone aggression, and encourages members to work towards peace - something I, personally, would like to vy for. Any violence in members is more of an individual thing, not a group one.

And even then, again, when it comes to a member not being completely faithful, most of what I typically hear about is avoidance, less-than-empathetic comments (often meant with good intentions, but... yanno), shouting from other family members... and maybe the occasional case of someone getting disowned. 😬

I still don't think the first two are good - maybe at least the second I can sometimes find understandable, but still. I definitely don't condone the latter two... (And if Church articles including this one are any indication, neither does God. 😔)

So... no, that kind of violence is DEFINITELY not something that's advocated for. 😔

Polygamy...

Like said earlier, I am definitely NOT surprised that this is a major part of the story. Polygamy is one of the biggest points of misconception that non-members have about our Church, and we are VERY aware of the stereotypes... which this story fits to a T.

YES, early saints practiced polygamy. NO, as of this time I'm writing this, we don't currently practiced it (I've mentioned some of the reasons above). NO, we didn't practice it for the reasons, nor in the manner, that many people tend to think. (And NO, we don't try to skirt around laws regarding legal marriage age... at least, not in what I consider the real branch of the Church... some people have made offshoots that, as far as I can tell, are very much in line with the stereotypes. 😑 Not sure if they're still around - at least not the main one. Haven't heard anything in a long time. 🤔)

I mentioned before that the journey to Utah/Deseret was dangerous. Being as traditional as we are, especially back then, I understand that it was mostly the men that hunted for food, and generally worked to protect everyone from various dangers. Thus, apparently mostly men died, leaving the population a little skewed.

And when many women would be left without even the option to marry (or remarry, in many cases), what's left to do?

Near as I can tell, the whole polygamy-vs.-monogamy thing appears to be one of those things where it's less of there being only one, real way of doing things, and more of being about what's probably most appropriate for the circumstances. Jacob (father of Joseph of Egypt) is known for having multiple wives, and in his case - and some others - it appears to be appropriate, from what I can tell.

HOWEVER! The ancient Church members in the Book of Mormon (commonly known as the Nephites) were commanded by God to only have one wife per man. Also, thereas a mention that David and Solomon having many wives (and concubines) is something God considers abominable (His word).

So... it sounds like, even in cases where polygamy is considered okay, having an excessive amount of wives is still a no-no. Heck, in the Holmes story, it seems to suggest that having many wives was... typical.

I don't think the population was that skewed. And even if it was, it wouldn't be for very long. 😅

So no. I don't see how that would be possible. Even if, hypothetically, it were encouraged.

Heck, I'm kind of afraid to look it up (for numerous reasons - not sure what exactly I'd search for, for one), but I've heard that the husband needed permission from his existing wives - starting with the first/"main" wife, and working his way down - before he could take another wife. I've also heard that a common conversation was most likely something along the lines of "Sister XYZ lost her husband on our journey here. Do you mind if we take her in? Give her someplace to stay and raise her children?"

Quite a different image than the "harems" people tend to expect (and that Doyle called them), huh?

(And it's not mentioned in the story, but since I know some people will wonder about it, or have heard otherwise: no, the wives are not considered married to each-other.)

I'm not going to make any claims, nor denials, as to who had how many wives, or anything. (Other than I've heard a rumor - not a hard fact, but still - that Joseph Smith's wife wouldn't let him take in any other wives.) Those records will probably be a pain to sort through... I pretty much just take things with a grain of salt on that front, personally, regardless of the direction.

Still, just as an estimate, I'd venture that 2-3 was more common, with several happening occasionally... and just one still being very common.

But yeah, as of the time of writing this, I've basically heard only heard emphasis on the one-man-one-wife arrangement, as far as the Church goes. Heck, right now, the idea of polygamy still seems odd to most members, AFAIK.

That said... I've also heard rumors that Utah is considering making polygamy legal again. I would not be surprised if Church leaders say something about it.

(This said, there are some elements I, personally, can respect about polyamorous relationships. Namely, the idea of multiple people being in a relationship with another person - or maybe even each-other - and being open and honest about it with each-other. Less of that ridiculous drama of someone being "taken," just because they're dating.)

Related side-note... Non-members, ready to have your mind blown? The recommended guidelines for dating in the Church: first and foremost, it's recommended to hold off until the age of 16 - this is largely to help prevent early pregnancies. (Turning sweet 16 is something often looked forward to. 😂) Secondly, it's recommended to start off with "group dates" (basically hanging out, not even beginning to pair off), in order to get an idea of what kind of people you like. After a while of that, you can move into paired-up dating, but it's recommended to avoid dating one person steadily - the idea is to try and help prevent getting too attached to any one particular person until you're ready to pick someone to marry. Finally, once you are getting ready to marry, you can start steady-dating the person you're considering - basically, you can start courting at that point.

How much of that sounded weird - maybe even crazy? 😜

Not to say it always works out that way... Along with the fact that people have their agency and autonomy, and that temptation is still a thing... some of us still struggle to get dates. 😅

...or feel that the pressure makes it... more intimidating. Maybe even gets some people focused more on the social pressure - feeling a need to rush things - than on whether it's actually a good idea, in their specific, current circumstances.

(I know I've been impacted by that... indirectly... 😓)

...anyhow...

The President of the Church (too many details for a header)

TBH, the portrayal of Brigham Young is probably the part that bothers me the most.

It might not have been so bad if Doyle wasn't misrepresenting a specific, named, major figure in our history - and particularly if it wasn't so incredibly inaccurately. But nope! Doyle was probably trying to be "realistic." 😅

It'll be hard for me to get into every detail (both emotionally, and just because of what it would take to point out EVERYTHING), but basically, the portrayal includes aggression, intimidation, making a point to oversee basically everything seen as a potential issue, outright threats... The narration even explicitly mentions that getting a visit is unlikely a good sign (at least for the character in question).

Regardless of whether one believes one such as him to have actually been called of God, I'll note that I, personally, haven't really known any of our Church Presidents (and other high-ranking leaders) to be much anything other than gentle. And to me, this seems like one of the major reasons why they would end up being President of the Church in the first place. Any guidance and correction I've heard has been - again - gentle, and loving.

Since checking the thing about the Danites, I've heard that he read some warning verses from the Old Testiment with passion... but I suspect that was mostly meant as a stern warning or something, from what I can tell. Other than that, about the worst he did was make it official that war was going on - after members had been attacked - rallying militia for defensive reasons, from what I can find. 🤔 Some... fighting spirit, I suppose, but not really aggression. There's even a point where he warned against getting involved in the affairs of some others in the area, because he didn't want a fight. (Though his message was... too late... 😢)

The bit about a visit being something to be concerned about definitely struck me as odd. Normally the possibility of getting to meet a Church President is something that members are excited about. 😅 Sure, maybe if one was, well... very much a sinner. (Which, to be fair, part of the idea is that Ferrier hasn't done something that, according to the story, is considered critically important...) But even then, stories I've heard about Church Presidents talking with sinners and the like typically involve a very gentle love that really does remind me of stories of Jesus.

Speaking of which, opportunities to meet a Church President in person are fairly rare. Especially these days. But even back then, things would be organized so he wouldn't have to handle everything, himself. Like I mentioned before, things would probably be handled by a Bishop or Branch President first, then a Stake President, then maybe one or two other levels of authority (I'm unclear on the details, but maybe a member of Area 70s?), before making its way to the Church President.

Even back then - basically any time except maybe the very earlier parts with Joseph Smith - the head of the Church would've been a very busy guy. Fact is, I really doubt he'd have time to handle everything by himself.

(Fun fact: Even the President of the Church has to talk to his local Bishop for certain things. I'm uncertain on the details, but one thing I think would be a good guess would be verifying records of personal tithings and other donations. ...Yes, even our leaders pay tithing.)

One particular omission I noticed was that there was no reference to finding out what God might want for any given situation. (Even with the very cult-like portrayal, this seems odd to me - I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be a common form of coercion.) This said, I'm pretty sure an emphasis on prayer would be more likely. (Or at least, I believe that it should have been. 😅) Most likely in asking Ferrier and others to pray... though praying himself, on occasion, wouldn't necessarily be out-of-place.

But yeah, lots of portrayals of stuff that would NOT be appropriate for his station. 😅

Incidentally, here's a bonus detail that even members tend not to remember: Have you noticed that I've been using terms like "the President of the Church" instead of "the Prophet"?

Well it turns out, unlike how even most members talk about it, the President of the Church is technically not "the" p/Prophet! Not even the only living prophet.

He might be sort of the head prophet, and he definitely is granted more power and authority. BUT! At EVERY General Conference for the Church, and even in some other cases, members are asked to sustain the President of the Church, his two Counselors, AND the Quorum of the Twelve (sort of the next group of authority down - our apostles) as "prophets, seers, and revelators."

Heck, here's a link to a reference of this being done in the April 2023 General Conference - the most recent, as of this writing, though our next one is expected next week. So this is very much a current exercise in our Church.

Still, somehow, the average member seems to forget about this... 😕 ...I admit, it's kind of a pet peeve of mine. 😅 It's something I wish at least our members remembered more-clearly, if nothing else. 😑

Marriage, general; insane controversy over Lucy being unmarried

Along with the polygamy section getting too long as it was, it just seemed appropriate to touch on marriage, separately. 😅 Still, these two points seem to go well-enough together that I decided to combine them.

While there is a lot of emphasis on marriage in the Church, it's not to the degree portrayed in A Study in Scarlet. Like with basically everything else in the Church, the ability to choose who you marry and such is still pretty important - for the wives as well as the husbands.

And while I'm sure there's sometimes drama over multiple people liking the same person (not that I've been part of that, nor been part of any circles that talk about these kinds of things...), it definitely wouldn't be to the point of Church leaders giving a one-month deadline, complete with ominous death threats, hunting parties tracking down anyone who might try to escape... or anything like that. 😅

Heck, it's pretty rare for Church leaders - even as much as a local Bishop - to get involved with stuff like that. 😅 Maybe counseling for couples after marriage - that's pretty common. Maybe some advice about marriage, proposal, etc. But nah, not going to mandate anything, by a long shot.

About the worst staying single is likely to result in would be some some "encouragement" (pressure...) from other members, or members accidentally assuming all the adults in a Ward/Branch ((two types of small congregations)) are married... and accidentally making exclusionary choices, accordingly...

To quote that article:

Sometimes even those of us who think we practice inclusion can be unintentionally exclusionary. For example, when I served as a nursery leader, I often missed announcements that were shared during the second hour of Church meetings. When I told a leader about this concern, he said, “But doesn’t your wife hear the announcements in Relief Society?”

(I guess I should probably give a note that the definition I heard - likely the Church definition - of "single" is "not married." Even if you're engaged, that doesn't mean you're not single. 🤣)

But yeah, someone being single in the Church isn't going to evoke shock, gasps, or anything of the sort. Let alone ominous death threats... or people hunting you down if you try to escape... 😂 In general, it's mostly just seen as a bad idea. Or at most, maybe a "sin of omission."

This said, while non-marriage is not exactly seen as good, I'm inclined to point out that *ahem* intimacy outside of marriage is typically viewed as MUCH worse. 😅

(Side-note: Apparently this is to the point that some find it hard to wrap their heads around the idea that intimacy with their new spouse being okay. 😅)

Also, a member having been married in the Church, and then getting divorced, is more likely to bring scrutiny... 😅 One of those things where a lot of members tend to get a lot more judgmental than I believe they should be. 😑

...But yeah, it can still hard not to wonder what might've led to something like that. 😅

...Still, I've heard cases where I would say that it's completely justified. 😒 (Someone pretending to be someone they're not until the other person was "stuck with them"? Yeah. Apparently it's happened at least once. 😅)

Besides, people can change, and I prefer to reserve judgment - at least until I know more. 🙂

(That's "judgment" as in "to make an assessment" - the scripture before the semi-famous "man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" comes after Jesse assumed that Eliab, soon-king David's older brother, must be the one chosen by God to be King because, apparently, Eliab's big and buff. God basically goes 'Nope, don't judge him to be morally great just because he's a tough guy.'

Similarly, John 7:24 advises to judge righteous judgment - as does, actually, the Joseph Smith Translation of Matt 7:2.)

The most important figures in the Church are strongly implied to be the Holy Four

...Never heard of them. (Well, not outside of this story, at least.)

Honestly, given the context, it's hard to tell who this "Holy Four" is supposed to be. The Godhead* + Church President...? 🤔

...And honestly? Generally speaking, we're more likely to do things in sets of three. Three members of the Godhead*; three members of a Bishopric, or Stake Presidency, or the Church Presidency (all cases of one leader + two counselors); three witnesses of the Book of Mormon...

And when not three, other common numbers are eight, twelve, and seventy. Four isn't as big of a number.

But yeah, I'm not sure where this "Holy Four" thing came from. 😅

*The Godhead is sort of like our version of the Trinity, except instead of three beings in One, it's three separate beings, working as one unit (i.e. a team).

Ferrier is shown taking the Lord's name in vain

Not sure how relevant this is supposed to be to Ferrier's relationship to the Church, but I figured I'd touch on it.

Yeah, we don't encourage swearing. There's some debate as to whether things besides the Lord's name in vain is really considered swearing - or at least, many seem to agree that the Lord's name should, at least, be considered worse than other terms (not a teir-1 swear, or whatever that one word is considered).

But yeah, that's a no-no. ...And I'm only slightly surprised that there isn't an example of a practicing member breaking the Word of Wisdom (esp. the "no smoking, drinking, etc." part).

Secret groups are seen meeting, exchanging code-phrases, etc.

Like I was refering to with the Danites thing. This is another thing that the Church is against. Groups like this are what we call secret combinations. Secret combinations are one of those things that are described as "most abominable and wicked above all, in the sight of God."

Any secret societies and the like would not be sanctioned by the Church.

(Also, side-note, I have no idea what their code-phrases are supposed to mean.)

Endowment House - flags flown to indicate a marriage the day before

I actually hadn't heard of this, either, until reading this story. Turns out, it was a thing (again, past-tense). It was basically used as sort of a temporary temple, until the actual temple could be finished (something I'd guessed at). It doesn't seem to be much of a thing right now.

There's no mention in that page I linked of flags being part of an official ceremony, or anything (on the endowment house, or - apparently - in the streets). It's certainly not a modern thing - strikes me as way more showy and public than we tend to prefer things to be. Heck, marriage is one of those things that's considered more private. And if anything, one of the common comments about our wedding ceremonies is how simple they are.

And besides that, weddings are one of those things common enough, and with enough of them done in one day, that I really doubt there'd be any signals used for a single marriage the day after it was performed. 😅

I'm actually half-surprised there's no mention of endowments. I'm actually not sure if Doyle even heard of an endowment in our Church. It is something that's required before getting a temple marriage... or going on an official mission, though members can get one at other times. It's the thing that's related to the garments some of us wear (as some non-members called it some years ago, "Mormon underwear"). It's also something we consider sacred enough that it's done in a special room in our temples (basically hence the need for a temporary location while the temple was under construction for so long).

This said, a since only the first wife who's probably sealed to her husband, I'm pretty she'd be the only one that'd really need an endowment for her marriage, if she didn't have one already. 🤔

And I know I'm not being specific, but it's something that's also considered sacred enough that we're not really supposed to discuss it with others who haven't had it - if not just plain not outside the appropriate room in the temple.

I actually can't give details, even if I wanted, because I haven't had one, myself. But I remember that not that long ago, it was to the point that even members couldn't really find information about it by searching the Church website. (A point of frustration for me... And when bringing that up to a couple endowed girls, I remember them getting a little awkward and telling me "It's not secret, it's sacred." ...Which didn't help my frustrations, because I'd say it was at least both!)

A few details have been released publicly now. None of the sensitive stuff, but I've caught things about it once being called 'endowment of power from god,' and something about extra protection.

It's apparently also possible to put certain principles of it together if you know what kind of reasoning to use - even if you don't realize it's connected with the endowments, somehow.

But I'm not going into any more detail, nor look for more info on for the sake of this "dissertation." 😜 (Sorry not sorry.)

But yeah, an endowment house doesn't seem to be a thing now, marriages weren't forced, and I really doubt the flags were a thing. 😅

Wives observing custom of sitting up with someone the night before their burial

If this ever was a custom, it certainly isn't now. Sure, I'd say there's a tendency to stay by the side of someone who's dying, but it's not an outright custom.

...Nor have I ever heard of staying near an already-dead body the night before burial. 😬 Ew...

-----

So... yeah. Overall, while I was surprised to see the Church in one of these books in the first place, once I noticed it was there, I wasn't really surprised of the shape the portrayal took. Like I said, we're very aware of the common stereotypes... and we're painfully used to being seen as "the bad guys" - whether as a group... or individually... 😢

Heck, I'm betting that A Study in Scarlet contributed to a lot of it, directly or indirectly. 😑 We all know how popular Sherlock Holmes is, and this is the very first book. 😬

This said! Far be it from me to try and tell people to abandon Sherlock Holmes. (I think that would be folly, anyhow. 😅) We don't have to accept every aspect of the stories... And Holmes is known for his deductive reasoning, first and foremost, which I can very much get behind (even if it's a little fantastical/romanticized), and I think he shares a lot of nuggets of wisdom. 🙂

And if the principles of reasoning and getting to the truth used in the Holmes' stories are any indication - not to mention the strawman moments *coughLestradecough* - I think that Doyle was just trying to portray things as accurately as he could, wanting to be true to them - not to add to prejudice based on falsehoods. 😂 ...Sadly, a lot of what he had to work with would've probably been misinformation, or even disinformation. And communication technology would've been a LOT less advanced - worldwide websites weren't a thing yet. 😅

...I wouldn't hold availability of resources against Doyle. Yes, mis- and disinformation is harmful... but people, as a whole, are fallible. I do think he was probably trying his best, and I'm definitely not going to hold that against him. And in general, I prefer to give people the benefit of doubt. 😌

Also? ...This might seem like a side-note, but in my latest fanfic, I've written Holmes references into chapters that haven't been posted yet, starting with the next chapter. I considered removing them, but I keep feeling impressed through the Holy Ghost to leave them - heck, I keep feeling guided on how to include them, and such.

(And to reinforce this, I plan - and feel impressed - to still stream those Holmes games I bought, on my Twitch channel. No, I'm not giving you a direct link. 😉)

And heck... not trying to brag, but to be honest? The general way that Holmes works things out - his patterns of thinking, and a lot of the principles of reasoning he stands behind? ...I actually find them very relatable. 😄 A lot of the stuff Holmes suggest is stuff I figured out/decided to do on my own (if in different words and such... and even if I disagree on occasion 😉).

I'm not going to claim to be on the same level as Holmes (this is fiction), and my strengths in knowledge and such are in different areas... but the general style feels very familiar... and I think this actually is the strongest I've ever felt a character to be a kindred spirit of sorts. 😃

Heck... I'd say Doyle must be something of a kindred spirit, to even come up with Holmes' manner of reasoning.

...Call this a bold claim, but I think he'd like me trying to correct his mistakes. Try and repair a little of the damage. 😌

So... yeah. I'm not even trying to preach or anything, I just want people to be aware of the inaccuracies in portrayals like this one, at minimum. 😅

And... I want to share that I can still fondly appreciate something that started with such a big flaw. 😌

#sherlock holmes #a study in scarlet #misinformation #latter day saints #mormons

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writer59january13 · 1 year

Text

Dream state yields deep sleep personifications

Upon lying supine - eye shutter lids

into the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, where the sandman beckons and bids

dead to the webbed wide world, yours truly immune to wakefulness

despite being tasered courtesy cattle prod, or struck by lightning hurled

by the invisible hand of God inert as a cow pattie or blocky clod.

While surrendering into deep slumber

recollections harken back to the following nursery rhyme;

Rock a bye baby on the tree top,

When the wind blows

the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks

the cradle will fall,

And down will come baby,

cradle and all.

Scant minutes elapse before I drift off

into the subconscious land of sleep (while android counts/

dreams of electric sheep to make sure none went missing) lethargic fatigue yours truly cannot slough after buzzfeeding my belly

and satiating thirst for knowledge

from respective culinary,

viz sans surfeit smorgasbord and savoring meaty mixed morsels

erudite literary trough

slogging thru most famous works courtesy Arthur Evelyn Saint John Waugh storied titled such as early satires, Decline and Fall,

and A Handful of Dust,

the novel Brideshead Revisited,

and the Second World War trilogy

Sword of Honour, which substantial tracts

terrific tomes, I have yet to read,

but nevertheless immensely admire.

So submerged, mired, bogged, et cetera

within the realm, where extravagant small scenes thrive within the body, mind, and spirit electric

(captivation with closest state

constituting dead weight) ofttimes lingers long after

emerging from slumber

perhaps being rudely awakened

by the following unexpected figment.

Most unpleasant to wake

from a clangorous start,

whereby nerves frazzled,

and getting forcibly

sprung loose and unwound untimely woke out theta sleep what...the... creaking, effing,

hashtagging, jump/kickstarting, pinteresting, and screeching re: sound emanating from suspected garden gnomes,

until I finally came round up to their impish ways and means

whimsical fancies to propound

unleashing an unexpected raft

of musings upon the cyber sea indicating masculine pronoun he him his after first shot

of high test coffee

(prepared by the missus she/her),

to start the day subsequently the wife found me reading the screaming headline news today oh boy,

whereby all manner

of political talking heads expound, when debt ceiling comes crashing down

raising capitalistic pandemonium sense and sensibility drowned spelling partial/total government shutdown point middle finger at dented prez clown. Hard to believe remembrance of things long passed into scores of yesterday's ago,

nevertheless still faintly reverberates within the windmills of my mind.

Case in point being the following

reasonable rhyming vignette.

The night of my spectacularly exhausting seventh birth, I dreamt about an amazing fictitious place, and taint nope pull lace on Earth cozily warm like a wood burning hearth, where embers snap, crackle, and pop with mirth best show in shutterfly REM hmm...memory wool worth (at least for near future) stayin alive whiskey indeed no comparison, dip pin dive ving into subconscious realm, and drive ving devotees mad, 'specially when bing a barf hull lie ("FAKE"), thus wide awake temper aerily perhaps til five (more minutes), when

(laugh-in) Ruth Buzzy's hairstyle as bee hive honey combed noggin will cease to jive, and crown jewel will suddenly seize gnome hatter, hatter how hard I strive to stay awake for no particular rhyme, nor reason won during, how far

this chap can push himself to break king point, which presently me make foolish poem just to slake hungering need to slather palaver which yukon leave or take,

since essentially nary a clue handy dan dee blues - zee drew pea senseless blather basically (AWOL) din flue zee brooked stream of consciousness writing whatever zaps glue pee bobbing sponge with grayish cerebral cortex hue cranking out words as they snap, crackle and pop to this Jew dishy us scribe of Schwenksville knew

dulling in an attempt to splash unexpurgated lunacy gobbledygook, yes sigh hug gree quite loo pee, yet this long (in the dent chord tooth) fell cue Horton hears a Who, he experiences silly (NOT solid) milk chocolate state ready to moo myself to cowardly pose new

matter, an unusual burst of energy recharged ordinarily inactive cerebral queue, hence maximization left no time to rue rationality upended in frenetic attempt to spew until...capacity to type another poem sputters, a dog send to you and all otter readers within the webbed whirled wide human zoo!

0 notes

god-whispers · 1 year

Text

mar 29

the man in white

"as he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven." acts 9:3

we might ask ourselves, "why does one have supernatural encounters while others do not?" i can't answer that. we can't decide a vision or dream into happening. they are in God's prerogative. i only know He gives to each what they need to embrace the truth they are all called to.

yes, the man in white is showing up all over, and yes, the muslim world as well. the recent massive earthquake in turkey did so much devastation. many stories are just beginning to come out; stories of carnage, destitution and yes, miracles.

it seems there was a little girl trapped in the rubble for days. upon rescue, she was questioned about her ordeal. it appears she wasn't afraid or alone. a man in white had fed her even while he carried her house on his back. (i would take that to mean he kept the house from falling down further.) they tested her and she had all the necessary proteins and things needed to sustain life.

then there was one little boy trapped in the rubble for eight days before rescue. say what you will, there is no way a little eight year old can survive that long without food, let alone water. he, in no way looked like a child trapped that long. sometimes when these things happen, a whole village ends up coming to the Lord.

there was an old man living alone in a house. it seems a room would suddenly be filled with smoke and a man in white would appear and have him write down things he was told. when he told this to people, they finally said, "well, let's see what you've got." a man with no knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord, with little formal education, had written the gospel of john.

another story is of a christian sharing her faith with a friend. she was assertive Jesus was the son of God and the only true way while her friend was adamant God had no Son. one day while the friend was walking along she happened to look up. she saw a man just standing there in the clouds. being afraid and feeling sudden shame from her unworthiness, she turned her face to the ground. there before her lay the shadow of the man above her.

there are stories like this all the time; so much more as we see the day approaching. one might ask if all these were true stories or maybe embellished a little. some have definitely been verified while others have been passed around so long - who knows? the think about that, most stories begin with a grain of truth. as far as the man in white, that has happened ant been verified so many times i think it remains beyond question, even if the relating of the story has some detours.

turkey is still reeling from all that has happened. we ask why? why would Jesus rescue some and not others? why did He not rescue ten thousand from the quake; at least the children? we all live in a fallen world. God sees eternally whereas we see presently. although God is interested in our earthly welfare, He is much more concerned about our eternal well being. again, these things remain in God's providence. that doesn't make Him good or bad. it makes Him God. shall the potter be esteemed as the clay? i know and trust that God is holy and all His judgments righteous. "Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty. neither do i concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me." psa 131:1

the muslim are such a god oriented people. i hear a part of their prayers is: "o allah, guide me to the straight path." i believe those who make that prayer with a sincere heart and not just words will find their way to the true God and find that Jesus is the door they must enter. scripture says, "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." matt 5:6

it might lead one to ask, "then why do we have to do all this work of evangelism?" why doesn't He just appear to everyone and convince them of who He is? FAITH! that is the needed element. "the gospel was preached to us as well as to them; but the word which they heard did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in those who heard it." heb 4:2

to us have been given the great honor and privilege of sharing Jesus Christ with the world. some will scoff, some will rebel, some will come at you with all the hatred the devil embodies. and some, just some, will let the seed of faith be planted in their lives. the diligent will nourish it, tend to it and watch it ever grow; grow into that mustard seed when planted becomes the greatest herb of all.

"how then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? and how shall they preach unless they are sent?" rom 10:14-15 many are walking around as if in a daze or a dream, unaware of the impending doom. "but you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this day should overtake you as a thief." 1 thess 5:4

the shame of it all is that muslims are more prepared to make a defense for what they believe than most christians are for what they believe. dear friends, this ought not to be so. "always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear." 1 pet 3:15

get in the race. it's never too late. Jesus told us many of the last would be first. people are wanting more. the gospel, the good new, is that there is more; for the unbeliever and believer alike. God doesn't just want to get us saved and then take us to heaven before we sin again. there is more to be had from Jesus now in this life. as we discover, we share our truths so others may as well. i know i shall never achieve the heights others have reached and i wouldn't expect my reward to be as great as theirs. BUT - i shall dwell forever, knowing God and experiencing the glories He has in mind for all who love His appearing. o come, Lord Jesus. we eagerly await Your summons.

0 notes

cannibal-witchh · 3 years

Text

Reader(Fem) X Alcina Dimitrescu

(PART 1)

Written by cannibal_witchh

⛓Trigger Warning⛓

Story contains: Gore, sexual elements, vulgar language, violence, elements of sub/dom behavior, and captivity.

Notes:

I am not the most confident writer so bare with me if theres some flaws floating around the story. I also have very minimal general knowledge to Alcina right now due just demos only being out. Please, be considerate that there's only so much information released on her so most of what I'm writing is not canon. Let's keep it positive and real, we all are thirsting after Lady D so here's a a fanfiction. Also couldn't condense it in one story so going to make this adleast a two or three parter.

It can get confusing with a lot of female characters so the reader is of course:

Y/N - your name

Her/she- i wanted to refer to the female reader in italics and bold

Y/L/N- your last name

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Thunder echoed along the well decorated corridor walls . Hints of lightning occasionally flashed between fluttering curtains. Beyond the curtains was an open window, below that was a critical drop into snow and shards of large rocks. That was definitely not worth risking. Y/N had been held in captivity for what felt like a legitimate eternity. Confinded to a small well kempt room, it seemed as though it had once been a guest room according to the furnishing. All the basic necessities of a bedroom were present here. The fabrics that dressed the bed were of a fine quality, and the boards that held all of it up were of incredible carpentry. Gentle embers flickered from the candlewicks that rose tall on the golden girandoles. Despite captivity the room was comfortable, it was illuminated with warm colors, although still dim and feint.

The door swung open, a black swarm of insects swirled infront of the door as it begun to quickly form a figure. It revealed a small vampiric woman, hooded with golden locks peaking from under it. She flashed her teeth with an enthusiastic smile, as she revealed blood stained teeth, lips, as well as her chin. " Oh, goody! You are awake. I always feel bad feeding when someone is asleep.", She shut the door as she advanced closer to Y/N. Adrenaline began to flood through her veins, hair on her body standing up, and her palms perspiring. She was covered in scabbed bite marks, and bruises - it didn't take long for her to recall the abrupt painful puncture of teeth break through her skin. The old bites began to twitch with pain at the idea a new addition would be welcomed. " I just prefer blood thats been in shock, y'know, awake? It gives it a nice acidic flavor, plus,", she towered over Y/N breathing in her aroma. " It smells wonderful.", she giggled in soft whispers. "Enough.", Y/N demanded as she attempted to cease her trembling. Her body was returning to anxiety because it was clear what was about to happen. A feeding. The vampire didn't seem to express offense, strangely her face bore amusement. "Oh ok, how about this!", she excitedly brought out her sickle and swung at her. With one swift swing the sickle hooked right under her knee cap. A shriek was released from Y/N's lips, agonizing pain radiating everywhere, and blood began to river out from the site. The vampire dragged her with the sickle through the corridor as everything seemed like a blurr from the shock. Hallways seemed like a stretched out haze, and noises seemed to be loud echoes one would hear in a juvenile cafeteria. "Whe-where are you taking me...?", she barely mustered as she felt the sickle dig through muscle and actually brush against the back of her knee cap. Fuck. The sickle was released quickly from her skin as she heard the sound of blood fly onto the ground. That abrupt removal felt worse for minutes compared to the weapon actually being present in Y/N's knee. The monstrous woman lifted the sickle to her crimson stained lips, inhaling the aroma deep, and then proceeding to lick the sickle of the blood it had collected. Sounds of ecstasy escaped her satin black lips, her eyes darted over at Y/N as she felt like she was on the verge of fainting from shock. " I love blood that has some acidicity to it. It gives it a nice kick. You know how that works? For example, your blood could still have more of that taste. One who is in a flight or fright scenario, where they are in absolute fear and adrenaline kicks in...thats when the meat and blood have a sour flavor. Mmm, thats why we are going to play a game." , she licked her lips as her eyes flickered with hunger and passion. Y/N groaned in pain as she felt her body gasp from the fevered pain beating in her knee. " I propose we play hide and go seek! You already know who's hiding. I will give you to the count of 100." , her eyes shimmered from this fucked up idea, she quickly turned her back and covered her eyes. Slowly the sickle in her hand vanished within dark smoke, damn it, Y/N within fading in and out had thought perhaps of stealing that and killing her there. Not anymore. She rose up with wobbling knees, just like a new born dear barely capable of using its legs, she began to hobble as fast as she could away.

"Oh, and I can smell your blood. So hide well, Y/L/N."

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Y/N consistently looked back, watching if the vampire had cheated the game. She was indeed honoring the game, that was adleast something about this blonde one she liked. She seemed to honor things she said, " 89...70...", her voice echoed loudly through the halls. The numbers lowering as Y/N felt her adrenaline spike even higher.

Y/N managed to find a door unlocked in a different wing of the manor. She adleast went through 10 locked doors before fleeing to another location of the manor. With pure luck, she discovered this door, it was unlocked and she took her gamble and entered quietly. With trembling gore soiled hands, she locked the door, and sunk to the ground. Very little energy existed in her, she anticipated for dear life the blonde vampire wouldn't smell her here.

The sound of gentle humming danced along the walls of this room, very melodic, sad, and eerie. Lonely, perhaps. With Y/N's quick realization, this resembled a garden bath house. The windows stretched tall in this room, revealing bleeding light from the full moon, there were plants of vibrant emeralds surrounding the large mass of water that centered the room. The water was decorated with rose petals and red spider lilies. The room was architecturally structured with several stones of marble, and looked almost like a Greek bath house . Gentle sounds of rushing water followed between stones which flowed into the big pool of water. Little ripples scattered across the water causing the red flowers to bob up and down.

The humming persisted as Y/N felt her heart drop, she quickly scurried to the nearest marble pillar to conceal herself. The humming was growing louder and louder, could it be the hungry vampire? She wasn't certain if it was worse but it certainly felt like it, Lady Dimitrescu emerged from the shadows of the room, and strided to the water. She was only wrapped in the finest silk, a tight sheer white robe that hugged tightly against her hips. She definitely had a full figure, the robe delivered a silhouette of her motherly figure. It certainly complimented, the low cut of the robe teased her deep cleavage, the sheer silk revealed faint color and the shape of her puffy areolas. Even in the predicament Y/N was in, it was still hard not to appreciate Alcina's physical beauty.

Alcina continued her melodic hum for a few more moments as she admired the undulations of the floral water. " Y/N Y/L/N, you believe me to be foolish?", she broke from her tune as her eyes looked directly at Y/N. She gulped hard as she submitted to the acceptance Alcina would more than likely kill her. She continued to lay her back against the cold pillar, one hand applying pressure to her bleeding knee, the other containing the fear that was trying to escape her lips. " I could smell that delicious blood from here.", she chucked lightly, "Come here, now.", she demanded with her arms crossing. Y/N did not obey the command, she remained quiet behind the pillar. For minutes it consisted of painful sharp silence, only the sound of her terrified heart beats could be heard. Her ears burned and rung, it desperately needed the assurance Alcina was still idle. Did Y/N dare look beyond the pillar? She peeked over and Alcina was no where to be found. Consternation filled her as there wasn't even a trace of evidence to signify the direction Alcina went. Unexpectedly, Y/N felt a hard blow and collapsed on her side. Her hands releasing themselves, and a gasp of air evacuated her mouth. " Oh, I see. ", Alcina had kicked her, her foot pressed hard against her side. Her smooth leg exposed, tracing all the way to her innermost thigh. Her skin looked smooth like porcelain, but certainly felt the weight of heavy boulders as it rested on her. Y/N groaned in pain as she felt her foot dig deep into her. "Bleeding out on my perfect floors. Oh, what a mess. Although, it does certainly smells of of tart berries, yes, what a wonderful aroma.", Alcina breathed in the cold air, inhaling hints of Y/N's blood. She moaned in intoxication to the alluring smell of fresh blood. Alcina removed her foot from Y/N, she gasped for air in relief, and tried to attempt to sit up. Alcina quickly lunged forward without even a blink, and her long hand wrapped around Y/N's throat. "No, I don't think so.", Alcina smirked as her hand squeezed around her throat. She fell onto her back, the large vampress towering over, her large hand pressing into her throat.She was capable of breathing but it was incredibly taxing especially with the critical condition she was in. Desperate wheezing filled the air, it burned and stung inside of Y/N's throat. Alcina stared into her eyes, a long red smile stretched upon her pale white face. "Hmm, this is quite boring already. I am quite famished too.", she released her grip, ascended and brought her arms to her bosom to cross them. Y/N began to violently cough and gag as proper air flow returned to her lungs. After several minutes of constant heaving, she finally managed to collect herself. "Come.", Alcina ordered as she turned on the balls of her feet and waltzed to the bath. Y/N submitted, too exhausted to resist any longer. She barely could stand but managed, she approached Alcina with her eyes fixed on her every move. " My little one lacks control. Just as I would suspect with her age. If she doesn't stop stabbing you, you'll die. And I really have grown addicted to your flavor as well. I really would hate for you to bleed out one day because of her reckless actions.", she expressed with a sigh of annoyance. Suddenly, a knock interrupted her rambling, " Lady Dimitrescu,", it was the blonde vampire. Alcina let out another sigh in annoyance. "Yes?", she responded with a disinterested tone, as she crossed her arms a little more snug. Revealing a distracting amount of cleavage being pressed together. " Is Y/N in there?", she sniffed loudly as she strived to rattle the door knob open. " Yes, but I require her. I will discuss with you later some important matters. For the mean time, please do not disturb me and I'll return to you soon.", Alcina said sternly as her fingers drummed the top of her arms impatiently. "Yes, Lady Dimitrescu. ", the blonde vampire responded with pure disappointment in her tone.

"Now, where were we? Oh, yes. I've decided you will become my little feeding pet. My daughters do not know how to handle food without killing it. So you are now only mine. Clear?", she lowered herself and grabbed Y/N by the face. Turning her face side to side to examine the condition she was in. Y/N nodded to the best of her abilities, and quickly, Alcina released her. "Good. I'm glad you are willing. I want you to undress now." Embarassment flooded Y/N's mind, her cheeks buzzing with warmth. Why would she even demand that? " I intend on drinking the blood thats already spilling out of you. But I won't drink it while its been dragged around by a rusty sickle and pressed against the dirty floor.", her refined side was definitely exposed. She was different from her daughters, she wanted her meals much more virtuous. " Oh, now, now. I will even join you. They say when two are bathing they are equals.", she added as she disrobed herself. Gently she slide the robe off her shoulders and down her large breasts, as the robe began to flutter down to the marble. Her naked body exposed, and remarkable. Her large breasts sitting perky, her puffy areolas a light grey, and her waist down was incredibly curvy. Absolutely, a full figured silhouette. She dipped her feet in and followed by submerging her body into the bathwater. She let out a sound of relaxation as she smirked and beckoned Y/N. "Come, now."

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To be continued...

402 notes · View notes

mcyt-apocalypse-au · 3 years

Text

httyd au: character plans

TommyInnit:

A funny and charismatic kid, tommy can always bring a shy dragon or person out of their shell.

Best friends with Tubbo, Ruffnut, Tuffnut and Snotlout

I mean like him and tubbo are pretty much polar opposites but they met when they were really young and help eachother out tons

Tubbo will help tommy with dragon studies and tommy will defend tubbo from anyone wanting to hurt him or fishlegs

Snotlout and tommy grew up as rivals, always trying to gain the attention of the village, but as they grew older they realised how much more enjoyable their competitions would be if they were close friends

Tommy has a red and grey deadly nadder called nox. he's an energetic dragon with a playful side, however he ca get aggressive if someone threatens tommy.

Tommy will often just sit on a bench with nox, staring out at the sunset as he hummed the delicate tune of his two favourite songs, mellohi and cat

He hummed the tunes so much that Nox as even started to copy him, recently Nox has started humming the tunes to calm Tommy down if he ever upset or angry

Tubbo:

Tubbo is a shy yet chaotic kid that's an expert in all things dragon

He's best friends with Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut and Tommy, he looke up to them both, craving Fishlegs' knowledge and Tommy's confidence

He has a proud and friendly Razorwhip called Silver. Silver is literally Tubbo's biggest supporter, she's so proud of how far he's come

He has also trained a pack of Night Terrors that have all vowed to protect Berk. The large pack of Night Terrors stumbled upon Berk by complete chance, they were seeking sanctuary for their injured leader and lucky enough for them, Tubbo was willing to help!

So he nutured the leader back to full health, allowing the pack to stay on the island while their leader recovered, and they haven't left since, even know their leader is good as new.

Silver has also memorized the tunes of Tommy's favourite songs because Nox taught her, she understood that tyey also calmed Tubbo down, so she used them for both dragon riders if they got upset or stressed

Technoblade:

Pretty much an urban myth among the residents of Berk, very few have had the pleasure of meeting and interacting with him.

Despite what the stories say, Techno is most definitely not a cold hearted killer or a cruel tyrant, he's just an awkward dragon expert with a thirst for victory

Techno has grey Titan Wing Triple Stryke, with rose gold tail spikes, called Spike. Spike is a fearless dragon destined for greatness and victory, with a hunger for success and strength, he and Techno are the perfect duo.

Spike was being hunted down by dragon hunters, but once Techno stumbled into the currently vulnerable dragon's path, he sensed the strength and potential that radiated from it.

The two are very protective of eachother, especially as they're usually the only other sign of life that they see. Techno and Spike live alone on a small island. Techno has a small farm there and he'll occasionally fly to Berk to trade for supplies

Jschlatt:

Schlatt is a misunderstood rebel, haunted by his past and love for chaos. One of the only people in Berkian history that has been forcefully exhiled, rumours of his unhinged behaviour and heartless actions were soread by the village elders, tainting his reputation.

Schlatt has a protective and wary Skrill named Spark, or affectionately dubbed Sparky. Spark is pretty much the only friend that Schlatt can rely on, so naturally Spark is protective and loyal to Schlatt.

Before he was exhiled, he requested that Phil and Hiccup, one of the village blacksmiths and the greatest dragon trainer, also son of the chief, could make him a body suit that would make him immune to Soarky's lightning bolt abilities.

Back on Berk, he was best friends with Quackity and Fundy, but those friendships collapsed when they went behind his back and spread false rumours, detailing Schlatt's appailling acts against the law of Berk

In the four years that he's been exhiled, he's only spoken to a few people. Among those few are Tommy and Tubbo.

He first met Tommy and Tubbo when they were trying to rescue Nox from a dragon trap. Schlatt knew the traps, he and Spark had destroyed many of them before, so he offered his help and a cautious, yet desperate Tommy accepted it. He freed Nox with ease, earning both dragon trainer's gratitude.

Philza:

Basically everyone's most treasured member of the village. He's the village blacksmith and everyone's support beacon, somehow becoming everyone's second father

He'll run his errands around Berk, whistling as he basks in the morning sun. Everytime he sees a familiar face, he'll double check on them, asking if they've hydrated, asking if they've eaten well and asking how they're doing mentally

He's always there to talk if something's wrong. Like i'm talking he'll drop all of his errands and take you to his and Kristin's house and sit you infront of the fire with a cup of steaming hot tea

He's best friends with Wilbur, Techno and Gobber

His dragon is a Stormcutter called Skye. She's a loyal, caring dragon, often motherly to young dragons that seek shelter on Berk.

If you can't find him on Berk, he's probably soaring through the clouds as the sunsets, with Kristin, on their dragon's backs

He's also pretty famous for his building and invention blue prints, his expertise is greatly sort after due to the aesthetically element of them

Recently, he found out that Tubbo adores bees and Tommy adores cows so, to make his sons happy, he's started learning how to make lil bee and cow figures and somehow incorporate them into his designs

From one corner or the archipelago to the other it's pretty much accepted that he's the most talented dragon tanner, even being anle to tame a titan wing if given the chance

Nihachu:

AKA Niki, she's pretty much the big sister of the village, a soft-spoken and kind dragon trainer that's always there to talk if someone needs her

She's pretty famous for being a dragon carer, she'll look after dragons that are injured or orphaned, raising them to full health so they can live life to the fullest

Niki has a shy, peaceful Lightfury, named Luna. She has pastel purple eyes and glimmering white scales. A timid, peaceful dragon without a care in the world, until Niki is threatened or hurt.

Pretty much the perfect team, Luna and Niki have the closest bond out of anyone on the dragon trainer team

She's best friends with Wilbur, Techno, Fundy and Tommy

As the story progresses, she becomes a mentor for Hiccup, helping him heal Toothless and develop the bond between them

Even as the story develops to httyd 3, she's still his mentor. Basically like sibling figures to eachother, Niki helps him learn how to approach the wild Lightfury without scaring her off

#mcyt #mcyt au #htyd au #how to train your dragon au #tommyinnit #tubbo #technoblade #jschlatt #philza #nihachu #how to train your dragon #httyd #long post

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witchbitchheadedtoaditch · 3 years

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Shadow Work Prompts Part 2

Hello my loves! I'm going to add some more shadow work prompts (primarily because... Kaye needs to do shadow work and maybe this will convince them to do it. (It won't. We all know it won't. But we can hope....))

I'm gonna put these below the cut just so people don't have to scroll through this long as fuck list on their dash if they don't want to see them lol

Some of these are really, really heavy, and do touch on things like sexual assault, abuse, death, etc., so this is the trigger warning for you.

A lot of these are also focused on women and AFAB folks because I'm trying to reconcile with my femininity and whatnot.

Anne Carson Quotes

You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said, Where can I put it down?

Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.

Words bounce. Words, if you let them, will do what they want to do and what they have to do.

Eros is an issue of boundaries. He exists because certain boundaries do. ... Eros: the boundary of flesh and self between you and me.

Desire is no light thing.

It is easier to tell a story of how people wound one another than of what binds them together.

Reality is a sound, you have to tune in to it not just keep yelling.

All mortals owe a debt to death.

...sex is a substitute, like money or language.

...your story begins the moment Eros enters you. That incursion is the biggest risk of your life. How you handle it is an index of the quality, wisdom, and decorum of the things inside you.

Myths are stories about people who become too big for their lives temporarily, so that they crash into other lives or brush against gods. In crisis their souls are visible.

Philosophers say man forms himself in dialogue.

There is no person without a world.

If there is anything dearer than being alive, it's dark to me.

We humans seem disastrously in love with this thing... life.

The underworld's a blank and all the rest just fantasy.

Caught between the tongue and the taste.

What is mortality after all but divine doubt flashing over us? For an instant God suspends assent and poof! we disappear.

Girls are cruelest to themselves.

What really connects words and things?

Blessed be they whose lives do not taste of evil

Perhaps the hardest thing about losing a lover is to watch the year repeat its days.

Consider incompleteness as a verb.

You can get used to anything, my mother was in the habit of saying.

I am talking about evil. It blooms. It eats. It grins.

I don't want to be a person. I want to be unbearable.

Beauty makes me hopeless.

The dead... are victims of love, many of them.

To live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing.

You read a hundred military manuals you won't find the word kill they trick you into killing.

I went mad, a god hurt me, I fell.

Those nights lying alone are not discontinuous with this cold hectic dawn. It is who I am.

Love does not make me gentle or kind.

Your grief is as great as your splendor was: some god is weighing the one out equal to the other.

You can never know enough, never work enough, ... never leave the mind quickly enough.

Language is what eases the pain of living with other people, language is what makes the wounds come open again.

Where does unbelief begin?

Everything that is me is with me.

A wound gives off its own light...

I began to think I was someone thirsting for God.

You are a person in love with the impossible.

When we are denied a story, a light goes off.

Some conversations are not what they're about.

I lack myself.

Who knows what will happen if I'm alone with my grief.

I... forbid that you should ever lose your screams.

You are not a god. You are not that enlarged self. Indeed, you are not even a whole self, as you now see. Your new knowledge of possibilities is also a knowledge of what is lacking in the actual.

There is a loneliness that fills the plain.

The women of mythology regularly lose their form in monstrosity.

We live by waters breaking out of the heart.

Time as hunger. Time passing and gazing. Time as perseverance. Mountain time. Time as paper folded to look like a mountain. Time compared to the wild fantastic silence of stars.

What are we made of but hunger and rage?

When I look at you, even for a moment, no speaking is left in me.

Kelly Cherry Quotes

I didn't find my story; it found me.

There is blood everywhere and I am lost in it. I breathe blood, not air.

The story of [their] great-grandfather [or any ancestor]... was [their] own story, too.

Ashe Vernon Quotes

Don't you dare, for one minute, believe that my kindness makes me anything but insurmountable.

Understand that I am not your next victim in a laundry list of broken girls.

I will eat you alive before I let you make a meal of me.

What they don't tell you about standing up for what you believe in is that your feet will bruise and your legs will ache.

I'd like to take a moment to submit a formal apology to my soft parts because they kept me warm when I was trying to freeze to death, and I hated them for it.

I let myself be afraid.

When you learn you are only as good as your beauty routine, you forget how to define yourself by anything else.

I will know how to be vulnerable with you, but I won't know how to not regret it.

I know how to put my body inside someone else's but not how to make it beautiful.

I love better at a distance.

I am as much lion as I am lion tamer.

I got good at inflicting pain the same way I got good at soothing it.

Quit picking old wounds and going tor walks in the aches and pains you already made it through--you call it healing, but it sounds like a good way to take a haunting home with you.

I am a cathedral of almost-lovers

Louise Gluck Quotes

We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.

I thought that pain meant I was not loved. It meant I loved.

The soul is silent. If it speaks at all it speaks in dreams.

Intense love always leads to mourning.

You will never let go, you will never be satiated.

It will feed you, it will ravish you, it will not keep you alive.

Why love what you will lose? There is nothing else to love.

I speak because I am shattered.

I don't need your praise to survive.

Whatever returns from oblivion returns to find a voice.

Nakedness in women is always a pose. I was not transfigured. I would never be free.

The unsaid, for me, exerts great power.

I am tired of human... I want to live on the sun

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

There are places like this... you enter as a young girl... you never return.

Writing is a kind of revenge against circumstance, too: bad luck, loss, pain. If you make something out of it, then you've no longer been bested by these events.

The riddle was: why couldn't we live in the mind. The answer was: the barrier of the earth intervened.

It is true that there is not enough beauty in the world. It is also true that I am not competent to restore it. Neither is there candor, and here I may be of some use.

You're not a creature in body. You exist as the stars exist, participating in their stillness, their immensity.

And then, suddenly, something is over.

You must be taught to love me. Human beings must be taught to love silence and darkness.

Sappho Quotes

Someone will remember us/I say/even in another time.

Their heart grew cold. They let their wings down.

What cannot be said will be wept.

What is beautiful is good, and who is good will soon be beautiful

Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done.

Love shook my heart like the wind on the mountain rushing over the oak trees

Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.

I know not what to do, my mind is divided.

The female creature is a letter.

No holy place existed without us then

She who loves roses must be patient and not cry when she is pierced by thorns.

Because I prayed this word: I want.

If you had a desire for good or beautiful things and your tongue were not concocting some evil to say, shame would not hold down your eyes but rather you would speak about what is just.

Wealth without virtue is no harmless neighbor.

I am weary of all your words and soft, strange ways.

Paisley Rekdal Quotes

Does it offend you to watch me working in it, touching my hands to the greening tips or tearing the yellow stalks back, so wild the living and dead both snap off in my hands?

I can wait longer than sadness.

It is such a small thing to be proud of.

Should I, too, not be loved?

We are even now still so young

I loved him. I loved forgiving him.

Yasmin Belkhyr Quotes

Contrary to wound, I still know nothing of defeat.

Contrary to ache, I still know nothing of guilt.

I help: a good daughter.

Someone always ends up holding something mangled.

It wasn't enough to feel... he had to see, to know.

Adrienne Rich Quotes

There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.

Lying is done with words, and also with silence

Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work.

When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.

My heart is moved by all I cannot save: so much has been destroyed

If you are trying to transform a brutalized society into one where people can live in dignity and hope, you begin with the empowering of the most powerless. You build from the ground up.

Until we know the assumptions in which we are drenched, we cannot know ourselves.

The truth of our bodies and our minds has been mystified to us.

It will take all your heart, it will take all your breath. It will be short, it will not be simple.

You look at me like an emergency.

The unconscious wants truth. It ceases to speak to those who want something else more than truth.

In a world where language and naming are power, silence is oppression, is violence.

There is no 'the truth', 'a truth'--truth is not one thing, or even a system. It is an increasing complexity. The pattern of the carpet is a surface. When we look closely, or when we become weavers, we learn of the tiny multiple threads unseen in the overall pattern, the knots on the underside of the carpet.

The moment of change is the only poem

There is nothing revolutionary whatsoever about the control of women's bodies by men. The woman's body is the terrain on which the patriarchy is erected.

The scars bear witness but whether to repair or to destruction I no longer know.

Not biology, but ignorance of ourselves, has been the key to our powerlessness

What kind of beast would turn its life into words?

Truthfulness, honor, is not something which springs ablaze of itself; it has been created between people.

You touched me in places so deep I wanted to ignore you

Silence can be a plan rigorously executed, the blueprint to a life, it is a presence, it has a history, a form. Do not confuse it with any kind of absence.

Most women have not even been able to touch this anger, except to drive it inward like a rusted nail.

We have lived with violence for so long.

This is my body, take it and destroy it

We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings. And the fear of our deepest cravings keeps them suspect, keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, and leads us to settle for... many facets of our own oppression.

Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false namings of real events.

A language is a map of our failures.

The more I live the more I think two people together is a miracle.

Poetry is, among other things, a criticism of language.

How do you make it, all the way from here to morning?

An honorable human relationship--that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love"--is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

You grieve in loneliness, and if I understand you fuck in loneliness.

We write from the marrow of our bones.

The liar has many friends, and leads an existence of great loneliness

We must use what we have to invent what we desire.

William Styron Quotes

We're all in this game together.

In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come-not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute.

It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul

We each devise our means of escape from the intolerable.

Reading--the best state yet to keep absolute loneliness at bay.

Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.

Let your love flow out on all living things.

Loss in all of its manifestations is the touchstone of depression--in the progress of the disease and, most likely, in its origin.

Kai Cheng Thom Quotes

I wanted to protect you, but I'm starting to think that the best thing you can do for people is teach them how to protect themselves. Every girl needs to be at least a little dangerous.

A sanctuary is a place where the door only locks from the inside.

Sometimes to be somebody else, you have to be nobody first.

You will be able to stop hurting people when you stop hurting yourself.

When you're a child trapped in a situation of physical or psychological depravation, you learn shame as an efficient, elegant mechanism of survival: shame simultaneously shields you from the reality that danger is out of your control (since the problem is not that you're unloved and deprived; it's that you're Bad) and prevents you from doing or saying anything challenging that might provoke a threat.

It's good for you to cry sometimes. Even if there isn't a reason.

When you live in a community of queers, anarchists, & activists, crisis is the baseline and stability an outlier.

You are mine like nothing has ever been before.

Safety is, I believe, an inherently classed, raced, and gendered experience that frequently runs the risk of being used for regressive ends--ironically, for restricting the freedoms of the vulnerable, those who are never really safe. Often, we see the call for safety actually reinforce the power of oppressive institutions, like the police and the prison system, in our lives. When we choose safety over liberation, our movements fail.

When they looked at me and my sister, even their love was hungry.

Some people will cling on to anything that makes them feel even a little bit free.

Forget, if you can, all the promises you've ever made and the lies that you've told.

Once you start hurting people, you can't stop

I feel tired. I don't want to be myself anymore.

Sometimes it's important to be alive.

Sometimes, there is nothing you can do but surrender.

You are always disappearing in the hope of being seen. You are always shrinking to fit into someone else's arms. You are collapsing ever inward, a galaxy to become smaller.

Gregory Orr Quotes

If we're not supposed to dance, why all this music?

Even hell is holy.

I was born with a knife in one hand and a wound in the other.

Maybe she loved me, maybe not--who knows? Not even the gods can see into a human heart--it's that dark.

Writing often reveals us to ourselves, lets us name what's important to us and what has been silent or silenced inside us.

And to live only once--what if that's not enough?

Maybe it was always simple: loss surrounds us. Who would deny it? We ourselves are loss, are lost.

I want to study the book of the world: every vanishing page.

The dead sing us songs I'm learning to answer.

#shadow work #shadowwork #prompts #shadow work prompts #witchblr

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