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budd-ie · 2 days

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“If I wasn’t destined to be perfect, I at least wanted to be perfectly kind. But…I couldn’t even manage that. It’s really…so unfair."

Yin Yu's dream of perfect kindness is yet another example of unattainable perfection. I love Yin Yu, because he really is trying to be kind to everyone. But "perfect kindness" doesn't exist in a world where other people are unkind, because there's a very small intersection between kindness and justice.

Yin Yu deliberately spends his time looking out for Quan Yizhen even though it drives him mad and only causes him problems.

He tells him not to worry even when his head is throbbing, he tells him it's fine, you didn't do anything wrong, even if everyone else is ready to kill them. Even if Yin Yu is lying, he's not really doing it just to placate him, he's doing this because he genuinely, wholeheartedly wants to believe in the words he's saying. It's not that he's unbothered, but that he wants to be unbothered. Yin Yu knows that helping Quan Yizhen is the right thing to do, so that's what he wants to emulate, and when people give him a hard time for it, he tries to placate them too. He tries to reason and rationalize every side regardless of his emotions; this is his way of trying to be fair and kind to everyone. This is easier in the sect because his peers respect him, but heaven is a little different.

Yin Yu appoints Jian Yu and Quan Yizhen as his deputy officials. We know that Jian Yu is a trusted companion despite his negative attitude, but what about Quan Yizhen? There's no way Yin Yu didn't rationalize his decision as a mix of talent, gusto, and maybe even a little spite. He recognizes Yizhen's potential and knows that helping him hone it is the right thing to do. It's the kind thing to do. Why wouldn't he want to help? Not to mention if he leaves him alone in the sect, who will vouch for him? It will only cause him problems if they aren't together, so really it's best to keep him along.

(continued under cut due to length and book 7 spoilers)

Lo and behold, inevitable problems arise and Yin Yu is under fire as well. Others show the same contempt for Yizhen as before, but the stakes are much different now. In heaven, everyone is a big shot and Yin Yu has no authority and only complimentary respect to his name. Placating the aggressor is hardly an option anymore, so all he can do is take it.

For the next section, lets look at this scene:

It also needs to be established right now that Yin Yu desperately wants to be a god, and it should also be said that a "god" really is something a little different than being a "heavenly official." This is more than a position to him, its a dream. Ascension for Yin Yu is proof that all his hard work is paying off, that all the headache wasn't for nothing, that he really is someone remarkable. Only...he doesn't quite feel remarkable. A god is someone who is perfect, kind and benevolent, who always does the right thing for the right reasons. A "heavenly official" is more like a white-collar worker at a corrupt high-end job stuck in meetings all day with a strict social code lest you offend another very powerful person. Everyone thinks they're hot shit just because of their title, which is especially why so many low-ranking deputy officials are so arrogant. With that, Yin Yu is aware that he isn't perfect. He hates that he gets annoyed by Yizhen when he knows there's really nothing he's doing wrong, he knows Yizhen's skills are better than his and he hates that it makes him somewhat insecure, and most of all, he hates that he hates. Yin Yu wants to be a god, kind and benevolent, skilled and perfect, but there are no true gods in this world. So instead he holds on tight to that title and does his best to just keep doing his best, even though he knows Quan Yizhen is right.

So why is perfect kindness unattainable, and why is it so frustrating?

Yin Yu is constantly trying to appease both sides. On one side is the sect and the heavenly officials who are fed up with Quan Yizhen for not following social standards and getting benefits he apparently doesn't deserve. On the other side is Quan Yizhen who holds no value in arbitrary social rituals and only fights when picked on. Despite being a trusted friend, Jian Yu doesn't help any.

Yin Yu's mitigation is always an order to "drop it" and move on with an added rationalization of Quan Yizhen's actions. In the end, Yin Yu is a logical thinker who tries to suppress his negative emotions for the sake of being kind, and thus doesn't reprimand anyone else for being unkind either, but it really doesn't work against people who don't care the way he does.

Lets look at this scene too:

"You shouldn't let others hear you talk about him like that"

This is the line that says the most about Yin Yu. As someone who's met a lot of people who weren't quite the nicest, I can say from experience that these are the words of someone who is afraid of being associated with the sentiment but don't actually disagree with it. It is unkind for Jian Yu to talk about Quan Yizhen behind his back like this, especially in heaven, but Yin Yu doesn't really tell him off. Even if this kind of response is more kind to Jian Yu, it's still unkind to Quan Yizhen (even if it isn't being said to his face).

On both sides of this, there is a decision about justice, and on both sides he's too scared to make that decision lest he offend someone. So what was he supposed to do? As a relevant comparison, let's think about Xie Lian who is notorious for being kind. Kind as he was, he also stated he would defy the heavens if they should condemn him for doing what he knew was the right thing (saving hong-er). He reprimands bullies, hated his own father for his questionable values, isn't really afraid to yell or hit if he needs to, and most of all has little regard for himself or what people think of him if it means justice is granted to the righteous and innocent. He's a headache and a troublemaker in exchange for standing up for what he believes is right.

Unfortunately, Yin Yu's sense of justice isn't as strong. If he wanted to be wholly kind to Quan Yizhen, that would mean justice for him and being unkind to the other heavenly officials. To appease the heavenly officials, he would have to be unkind to Quan Yizhen. Yin Yu's passion for godhood makes him unwilling to defy the heavens and his respect for Quan Yizhen makes him unwilling to do him harm either. It is impossible to be "perfectly kind" because justice is imbalanced by this nature, and that "third path" of equality over equity can harm more than it helps. In the end, someone has to get hurt. If we really want to put it into perspective, you might even also be able to say that Quan Yizhen's sense of justice is stronger than Yin Yu's, which only makes the blow hurt more. If heaven stands for justice, he understands that heaven is unfair by nature and rejects it, where Yin Yu is still willing to uphold it, as it placates him in his own yearning to be a god. But does a kind god really have time to be kind to themself too? Gods are not all powerful, and even after ascension they remain human. All humans have unbalanced emotions, and for these limits of humanity to remain is only natural.

“Yizhen is a genius, but I’m just ordinary. I could only climb so high. I knew that. Even though I knew, I couldn’t accept it. In truth, I felt the same as Jian Yu—I was even more frustrated than he was. It’s not that I wasn’t resentful; it was impossible to be otherwise. After that incident, I could never bring myself to reflect on why I told Yizhen to die when I knew he was wearing the Brocade Immortal. Was I really just driven to madness, or did I actually want him dead?"

He wanted to choose the path to appease everyone, including himself, and he suffered for it. The frustration that overtook him really did just drive him mad, and he can't truly be blamed for it; what he wanted to achieve was impossible, after all. And although his kindness couldn't be perfect, it wasn't for nothing. After Yin Yu was banished, Quan Yizhen went to Ling Wen every day to check for news on his whereabouts and for centuries still believed in him despite it all. Even as Yin Yu dies, Quan Yizhen sobs his heart out for him, broken that there isn't more he can do for him. It's easy to shake Quan Yizhen off as an airhead comedic relief character, but Yin Yu's kindness did genuinely touch him, and he never stopped caring for him. He reminds me of Hong-er, the way Yin Yu was the only person who was nice to him, helped him, and showed him grace. Why wouldn't that be meaningful to him? Let's also remember the lantern contest banquet when Xie Lian interrupted a play that portrayed Yin Yu in a distasteful light, and the way Quan Yizhen later shoved his donation box full of gold bars in appreciation. He always looked to Yin Yu for guidance and trusted him wholeheartedly. He always wanted due justice, or at the very least respect for Yin Yu, and to find the truth about what happened that day. Even if you can't appease everyone, even if the masses don't remember your good deeds, that doesn't mean your actions were meaningless. As long as it touches one soul, you'll never truly be forgotten.

Finally, I want to look at this declaration:

"Yes, I hate him! But so what?! He’s given me so much trouble—can’t I hate him for it?! But…But I only…I only wanted to hate him. That doesn’t mean I want to hurt him."

Despite saying this, I don't believe Yin Yu ever really hated Quan Yizhen at all. He invested so much time in him because he saw what he was capable of. He lied for him to keep his spirits up so he didn't get discouraged when others shot him down. It's just that when he kept being himself, people came complaining to Yin Yu all over again. All of the frustration he was feeling wasn't because Quan Yizhen couldn't take the hint and leave him alone for an hour, its because everyone always took their anger out on him when he did anything. Yin Yu didnt hate Quan Yizhen, he hated that he couldn't be the patient and calm person he wanted to be for him. He hated that he felt so worthless despite working so hard. He hated the unfairness of it all. And if Quan Yizhen was the one at the center of it all, it's easier to summarize these negative emotions into hatred and focus it on one avoidable entity than to wallow in the hollow shell of that person he wanted to grow into one day. It was never really their fault, not either of them. The whole of it was unfair, and they both deserved better for the efforts they made.

#yin yu did nothing wrong everyone else was just a jerk #Quan Yizhen is based in saying heaven isn't worth anything and i like him so much #I wish Yin Yu could understand how much he actually meant to Quan Yizhen and that everything he did was worth it #he is remarkable to ME #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #yin yu #quan yizhen #all of the autistic coded characters have strong senses of justice and are the first to understand that heaven is fucked up #and i love them so much

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libbys-braincell-loss · 30 days

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me before tadc ep 2: man i love jax as a character, hes such an asshole and hes so easy to imagine everyone beating him to death and i love that about him, isnt that right you guys?

everyone else before tadc ep 2: fuck yeah i love asshole characters i want him i want more of him

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me after tadc ep 2: man i love jax as a character, hes such an asshole and hes so easy to imagine everyone beating him to death and i love that about him, isnt that right guys?

everyone else after ep 2: *holding pitchforks* WE HATE HIM SO MUCH HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE. KILL KILL KILL

#he makes me chuckle im sorry #i love watching him being an asshole and a whiny bitch #i love him in a negative way and hate him in a positive way #i hope he experiences angsty character development #but if he doesnt i wont be sad; in fact it will make me laugh more #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc jax #jax tadc #the fact twitter hates this guy now is so funny to me

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villainsidestep · 2 months

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“think abt smth besides v3!au” no

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #would love to think abt canon fawn but unfortunately there’s nothing to think abt there so.#we still can’t figure out how to write a big thing abt the fawnchen stuff but. since we’ve been thinking in general.#fawnchen sitting together at the memorial/funeral… the ortegas try to coax fawn into sitting in a seat between them but fawn is still too #emotional in v negative ways (angry at them; blames them; hates them) to consider it so they sit on the end of a row and next to chen #there is a lot of dialogue in mind abt him asking if they’ve talked to the ortegas yet and asking if they blame him [implied: the same way #that they’re blaming the twins/hb/themself] and fawn says that he wasn’t in the room [so he couldn’t have stopped anything] and he asks #again if they blame him [for not being there to help in the first place]#+ way later (read: autopsy photo time) fawn noting that chen seems to be treating them differently? he’s notably trying Not to but he’s #being weird enough that it draws attention to itself. v soon after he is ofc injured and argent joins the rangers and fawn is like #oh I get it…. he was worried abt how I’d get along w someone New joining. kinda fucked up he doesn’t trust me but it’s fine #would love to say they’d still get along but honestly without the villainy from fawn they’d probs be like neutral-positive @ each other #+ obvs even later than that is when herald joins the team and eww can you imagine what a complicated nightmare that is for fawn #on one hand. new hero!! his brain is super open and he’s nice and wants to get along w you!! on the other hand. he’s a Fan of yours and #probs only hesitates to bring up ur dead brothers (bc they were Also his icons) bc he has been trained by both ortegas to NOT!!! do that #I think they’d honestly still get along tho :) maybe if he catches them in a good enough mood he can get some brothers lore from them

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floral-hex · 10 months

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I’m out of town for a couple of days for my brother’s chess tournament and the internet in this hotel sucks butts and I only brought one book with me 😓

#sucks butts IN A BAD WAY #this is the same hotel that held the last couple of big chess tournaments my brother entered #so I’ve been here a few times but this is the first time I’m actually renting a room instead of driving back and forth each day #so positive: got a room and don’t have to drive a bunch. negative: no continental breakfast 😒#they have a little tiny starbucks but no free breakfast which is bullshit!#also all of my books are stilled packed up from moving bc I’m lazy so I couldn’t grabbed any one I really wanted to read #but I did get a free copy of Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ the other day so I brought that #and yeah I am kinda pumped to peruse that. Mr King is a pretty cool dude and I def want his writing tips #but also… I just kinda would rather read something about a fucked up wizard or something ya know?#anyway I always feel weird or annoying saying this but if you want to send me any asks or anything to help pass my time then by all means #or not. it’s cool. really. I hate bugging people and I hate coming off as desperate & needy outside of the bedroom #im going to be mushy and say im kind of excited to spend the night sleepover style with my little bro here #he’s getting older and it’s getting harder to convince him to hang out with me #love this little dude so gosh darn much #oh man what if we get a pizza and watch a movie together? would that be cool? is that something teenagers like to do with their older bros?#i’m so lame #being like 18 years older than your younger brother means you get to fulfill your cool uncle/dad vibes without actually having kids #ok I have to stop myself from filling this with tags about wishing I was a dad or being whatever #what was I saying before?… did I even have a point?#oh yeah… bad internet… only one book… I’m hungry… yeah…#this isn’t important #you can ignore this #text

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mrfoox · 4 months

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How to make Miranda lose up to 80% of her trust and belief in you 101:

- break an promise

- break an agreement on something that's kinda a big deal

#miranda talking shit #Kicker is I will forgive. I forgive people but that trust will never be 100% again. I'll not forget #Something something blame my father for this since he always broke every promise he made to me as a child and made #Me slowly realize how little I meant to him so he couldn't even bother keeping his word #Aaaaanyway. I won't ever tell anyone how much they fucked up but haha... Yeah #Men break my trust I will drop them like hot potatoes or switch my inner love switch #But we are being positive so silver lining. I'm being reminded of an important lesson #No man will ever care about me enough to not do this. Will I stop loving people/men? Nope #But it's always an fun slap to get like ah right.....#There is an reason I never promise anything to anyone. Bc I'd have to kms if I broke that by some way #I swear.... Only man that doesn't disappoint me or break my trust is Fabian. 6 years he haven't done anything bad ever #I mean ok... He have said some insensitive things and my feelings are easily hurt but nothing I didn't drop after an day #He keeps his word. If he says he will do something he does #I hate the feeling of disappointment. I know it's daddy issues. It just reminds me of being young and having my heart crushed #Thus we avoid expecting things but... Alas.... I'm a trusting person and I want to think people will keep their words #Sucks to be wrong. But hahaha... I'll get over it as always #Negative

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writingwithcolor · 6 months

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A Careful Balance: Portraying a Black Character's Relationship with their Hair

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. I plan to make his character very finnicky about his hair, both enjoying styling it, but also often being unsure how to style it (not in that he doesn't know how to, but has so many options for how to style it, he has trouble choosing). However, I know that there are some very harmful ways to write black hair, especially in regards to how the black character themselves feels about it. Kazuki does not hate his hair, in fact he takes joy in it, and I'm researching black hair and hair styles to be as accurate as possible. But I'm unsure if portraying a black character as occasionally overwhelmed by or vain about his hair is negative. How would you suggest either changing this or making it work? Does it need to be changed in the first place?

Black Character Overwhelmed by Curly Afro Hair

Your Black character wanting his hair to look its best and at times feeling overwhelmed seems reasonable and natural to me. It appears their challenge comes with how to style it. Not so much with struggling how it looks or how hard it is to manage. That is good, as this further helps avoid placing a strong negative focus on Black hair.

Him caring a lot about how it is style should not be deemed vain or frivolous, either. In any case, hair care is self care. There’s nothing wrong with having pride with your hair, especially hair that mainstream society, historically and present, might say is not beautiful. This still matters, even in a fantasy world, since your readers still exist in this reality. It’s empowering and a welcome change to see someone who loves their afro hair, actually.

There are unique factors someone with coily afro hair would experience vs. straight, wavy, or looser curls, but people struggling with their hair (too frizzy, too flat, too limp, too thin, too thick!) is universal.

There is a delicate balance to achieve.

Avoid Writing a Black Hair Journey Experience

An overall negative Afro hair journey might be the reality for many, especially when society deems Afro hair as unacceptable and slaps so many uninvited opinions, laws and policies over its existence and on certain styles (again, historically and very much at present), but that’s the kind of story that is best handled by someone with the background. Someone willing to commit to the research might also be able to pull it off, although it’s truly not the kind of thing an escapism novel needs in my opinion. If the story is not meant to delve into “A Black /Black Hair Experience” then I'd avoid going that route. That is moving a bit towards a struggle narrative, depending on how much it defines your character’s story.

Add positive and neutral hair language and interactions

For your writing, I’d avoid using unchallenged negative language about his hair. Being overwhelmed at times and frustrated is one thing and expected. If his hair is constantly brought up, and is associated with uncontrollable, ugly, or too [insert struggle here], then rethink the direction you’re going.

Add some positive or neutral terms, reactions, and interactions in the narrative towards afro hair, such as describing color and texture.

“His fine coils bounced in the wind.”

“Hair black and shiny”

“She wore her hair in two large, fluffy buns.”

“He admired his fresh, neat braids in the mirror, smiling at his reflection, before turning to leave.”

Another tip: It may have been for research purposes, but leave out any hair number categorizing in the story and rely on description. I’d say this goes for any story, as reading the number would feel off.

“He had coily 4a hair.” Nahh! :P

Also, I would suggest sending all passages that focus on his hair to a Black sensitivity reader for review.

More reading:

~Mod Colette

#asks #black #black hair #hair #afro hair #description #tragedy exploitation #struggle novel #creator responsibility #representation #guides #writeblr

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jisungshotfirst · 2 years

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#just learnt from my mum there that there's a show at the moment that's a dramatisation of the covid boris bullshit ????#WTF and WHY #I have Such a massive issue with dramatisations of real life events ... like you can enjoy them on one hand but they can be so harmful..#it's making a documentary without the ethical aspects you need to address to make a documentary #it's absolutely horrid and I hate that they're so popular nowadays because it will just give people and unrealistic view of real life people #and sway their understanding about events #and whether positively or negatively it's giving these people promotion and attention that they have no control over #the fact that this show can be sympathetic towards boris and make him have some redeemable qualities and tell his story in a way They decide #and not Him being in control of (and therefore accountable for) what he says and does - and therefore the audience get a different view #that is COMPLETELY CRAFTED #....... I hate it SO MUCH #and making stuff about Covid .. Covid is NOT OVER 😐 literally like .. it's Too soon to dramatise Covid deaths - it is Way too soon #literally what happened to original story writing - I am TIRED of dramatisations of real events and disney live action remakes that are the #exact same as the original animations #I don't care about Any of it 😐#kit rants #ooh we haven't had a rant in a while I love

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baltears · 2 years

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someday i need to do a big meta about how angela is dolores’ doppelgänger character kind of like akane is for maeve and craddock is for william and i guess arnold is for bernard. she’s just like this slightly-off version of dolores and accordingly has similar but slightly-off dynamics with william and teddy and humanity in general and it’s so interesting

#her circumstances are also like. a more direct and literal version of dolores'#(hence why they had that little connection moment when dolores saw her reaction to having to be a sex object for logan)#but like. i'm obsessed with her relationships i think they're so interesting #like the way she has this funny little tension going on with william since there is obviously attraction there but #she's offering a type of interaction or relationship that he very specifically does not want (meaningless)#and she obviously feels some type of way about the person he became and seems to find him... sort of interesting and diverting #loathsome but also pitiful in kind of an amusing way. like how dolores pretends to feel (although we know from s4 theres more to the story)#or the way she has like this weird trauma bond with teddy because they kind of sit in the same position (subordinate and loyal to dolores)#and him killing her in escalante was kind of... both of them suffering at dolores' hands (i hate to put it like this but it's true 😔)#bc they had no choice other than to play the roles that she assigned to each of them but also understood that she didnt have a choice either #so they can't help but empathize with her and feel loyal to her despite that #plus how it's sort of implied that her main emotion toward humanity is just rage. which dolores also has but its complicated by other things #so she's sort of like a manifestation of all of dolores' most negative emotions toward the world (re how she dies)#truly any time she starts talking for any length of time i'm like 👁 LETS ANALYZE #i love her #westworld

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anantaru · 4 months

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cw. [ex]plicit, forbidden romance, passionate haithie, fem! reader

the lingering thought of living through a forbidden romance with alhaitham.

“we shouldn't be doing this but it feels so good,” while you exchange deep breaths, eyes misted with a delirious glow.

right now, nothing seemed important enough for you to muffle your cries and heaves, as it was the only way to vocalize your feeling.

but a piercing reservation for this relationship was always there.

the irremediable sorrow of what would happen if you do get caught, if someone sees you steal a couple more kisses, brush your hands together lightly when you walk past each other. it's present, that haunted look on your face, and it was impossible to cure it as it overcame you with a shaded gloom, casted above you as it applied layer after layer of unsettling emotions.

yet your heart twists when you feel him kiss you again, again— and again, as if alhaitham silently sensed how you were giving yourself to the negatives parts of your secret relationship that actually contributed to many positive instances in your life.

"i hate it, so much," that hurt, you realized, to say it out loud and feel it hang above your head, "i hate it so much, it pains me!" to voice your emotions to him too— as if it didn't kill him as well.

but you close your eyes now, your lashes shining with a threat of tears, attempting to ignore the wounds inside of you and go back to focus on what was right now, towering before you. it being alhaitham, the man you loved, so fucking much, pleasing you to his heart’s content.

the scribe traces your muscles with his fingertips before pulling himself in you again, his lips parted and glistening on top of yours. everything considered, there was a strange, almost insatiable sort of pleasure bundling inwardly, he simply never looked at you like this before.

"oh? you're still concerned someone might hear us?"

"no, I'm not," you avert your gaze in denial, but the bitterness on your facial features told the entire story to his sharp pair of eyes. you suddenly close your arms around his neck so you could kiss— and better, shut him up, so that alhaitham would also forget about your panicked outburst and resort back to filling you with pleasure.

"good, me neither, i couldn't give a damn anymore."

"what—" this was probably one of the most miserable dirty talk sessions in history of such— if you can even call that awkward conversation that.

alhaitham silently hooks his fingers under your hips before pulling you off and on him, repeatedly, but this time faster as your lower body automatically arched upwards so he could move you on and off his cock in the most pleasurable, precise way. to have your sweet cunt split by his girth—it's maddening and you feel him throb inside of you as he drags himself against your warm walls, luxuriating in the softness of your pussy.

alhaitham slumps into your body, "i-don't-care-anymore-" and at each full throated groan, he spills a new word to complete his sentence.

now, everything had gotten more hot— scorchingly hot but cold too, precisely all at once and at the same time, your creamy walls being rubbed with passionate rolls of his cock as his pelvis hits yours.

everything between your thighs retorted to feeling swollen and well used, your hips sore enough to give up but you did not want to, not now, not ever, not when there was nothing that made you feel as good and free as this.

yes, alhaitham made you feel free, like you could achieve anything in life and have him by your side at the same time.

in the course of this, you close your eyes before begging him to kiss you again, uncontrollably make out with you until your lips would strain and hurt. and alhaitham notices, pushes deeper in, so deep that his shaft had been entirely webbed in your liquids and made them ooze out whenever he pulled his cock out.

he does it with such ease, like he's meant to do this, "i don't care whether people will spread rumors," and presses his lips on top of yours, muffling.

"because there's only one person i care about."

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x you #al haitham x reader #al haitham smut #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles

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loki-cees-all · 6 months

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Some Things Are Easier to Say in the Dark {Avengers!Loki x Female Reader One-Shot}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link

Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Female Reader

Summary : You and Loki absolutely despise each other. A mission to Finland forces you to work together undercover in the days leading up to Christmas, and then a blizzard traps you at an inn with only one bed. Suddenly all those teasing games aren't so fun anymore, and the animosity takes you both down a path neither of you anticipated.

W/c : 6.2k words

Content / Warnings : Enemies to Lovers, Snowed In, Only One Bed, Shameless Smut, Fingering, Teasing, Hate-Fucking, Cowgirl Position

Author's Note : My entry for @sarahscribbles' Christmas Collection, using the ✨ Enemies to Lovers ✨ prompt. Hope you enjoy it, dear!

18+ Only - Minors DNI

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─ ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

This had to be a joke.

Not only had you been given the ridiculous assignment of “accompanying” the newest member of the Avengers, the so-called God of Mischief, to Finland. Not only did you know it wasn’t accompaniment, it was actually babysitting, because despite Thor’s intense insistence that his brother be given this chance at redemption, the rest of the team still didn’t quite trust him yet.

Not only were you sure that this mission was just busy work - a way to simultaneously keep Loki distracted, and away from the prying eyes of the American government and media. And not only had this man single handedly usurped your rise from common S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to the next member of the Avengers, because the dungeons on Asgard were just too cruel for the precious Prince…

But now, there was only one bed left in this entire goddamn inn.

The sweet old woman checking you in apologized profusely when she broke the news, and you just stood there, silently fuming and clenching your jaw so hard your teeth would be aching for days. Truthfully, you should have known better - it was only four days before Christmas; how could you forget that it was technically a holiday, and that millions of people around the world would be traveling for leisure right now?

Maybe it was just because you couldn't recall the last time you'd taken a vacation, or the fact that you hadn’t spent a holiday with loved ones in years. Or maybe you’d been cursed somehow - most likely by the man standing next to you, with an infuriatingly charming grin on his face.

“Please don’t worry about it, my dear, we’ve just had quite a long day of traveling,” Loki gently assured the woman, reaching for her hand as she all but cowered in fear at your palpable rage. She seemed to relax as Loki soothed her, and you hated that it was him covering for your negative attitude instead of the other way around. “My fiancé - she’s just a bit old fashioned, and she wants to wait until marriage, you see...”

The woman smiled as if he was describing kittens snuggling together on a cold and rainy evening, and you were this close to absolutely losing your temper; he was already deviating from your mutually agreed upon cover story, that you were simply colleagues traveling to the Muotkatunturi Wilderness Area on a research trip, and he intentionally chose his own cover story to replace it - one that was designed to deliberately piss you off.

You knew Loki could feel the anger radiating off your skin, and he turned towards you with a smile of his own as he continued to act as your doting fiancé. “And I’m determined to make that a reality. I promise, I’ll be fine sleeping on the floor, alright, darling?”

He slipped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, his emerald eyes shining as he surely relished in your discomfort. You tried to focus on that, on how angry you were at him about everything - instead of his warm embrace, or how inviting his scent was.

“Well, you’re in luck. We’ve got the most comfortable floors in all of Rovaniemi!” the woman laughed as she returned to filling out the guestbook.

It was humiliating, but it seemed as though you had no choice. You let out a heavy exhale, deciding it would be easier to just go along with his story and get this interaction over with as quickly as possible. Your only saving grace was that this was temporary - soon this reconnaissance mission would be over, and sooner or later Loki would ruin the good graces of Tony and Steve and be sent back to the dungeons on Asgard.

But until then, you were going to have to find a way to make him pay for all of this later on.

“There’s my girl. Always the brave little soldier,” he purred softly, leaning down as if he was going to kiss you. Your eyes widened in panic, desperately fighting the urge to push him away and possibly punch him in his handsome face, but Loki caught the hint and quickly looked the other way.

You turned your attention back to the front desk as the woman fiddled with the paperwork, and a group of figurines for sale caught your eye, nestled among the garland and twinkling lights. A wicked grin crept across your face as you nudged Loki’s ribs unplayfully. “Look, dear - they’ve got some Odin statues for sale. Shall we buy some to hand them out with our Christmas gifts this year?”

Loki’s gaze slowly descended into madness, and you cheered silently once you were sure you’d gotten under his skin. His jaw tightened, along with the hand pressed against your ribs, but the woman smiled happily, unaware of just who she was talking to.

“Ah, yes - these make excellent souvenirs!” the woman laughed as she picked up one of the figurines, admiring the wood carving with a loving eye. “Did you know that the myth of Santa Claus is based partially on the myth of Odin - and that it all started right here in Rovaniemi?”

“Oh, I had no idea!” you lied, almost giddy with how much this was going to piss Loki off. “Could you tell me more about that? I find Norse mythology to be just fascinating…Of course, that pesky God of Mischief certainly leaves a lot to be desired, wouldn’t you say?”

She opened her mouth to answer, clearly very pleased that someone was finally so interested in her offerings, but Loki quickly interjected with barely contained rage. “Actually, if you could just focus on retrieving our room key now, I’d really appreciate it.”

“What is the God of Mischief’s name? Loki, or something like that?” you continued with absolute delight, slipping your arm around his waist the way he’d done while teasing you. “Pretty ridiculous name, if you ask me. Thor’s name is so much more elegant…”

“Well, it’s funny you should mention that. The name Loki actually means - ”

“The keys! Now. Please,” Loki snapped as he yanked your arm away, gripping your wrist so hard you were sure it was going to leave a bruise. That was definitely going in your mission report once you’d returned to Stark Tower.

The woman faltered briefly, clearly not expecting the charming man to shift his attitude so abruptly, but she reluctantly obliged and began rummaging around in a drawer for a set of room keys.

“You’ll have to excuse my fiancé, m’am…He just doesn’t believe in all that Norse mythology nonsense, even though I think it’s super interesting…” you smirked as Loki stewed with indignation. “But it’s just this one night that you have to endure the tall tales of Norse mythology, and then we’re off to Inari in the morning…aren’t we, sweetheart?”

The sweet old woman furrowed her brow as she pulled the last set of keys from the drawer and extended them over the counter. “Oh, didn’t you hear about the blizzard arriving tonight? They’re saying it’s the storm of the century. I doubt you two will be going anywhere for a while.”

Loki’s face fell alongside yours, and you both turned to the woman with matching grimaces. “I beg your pardon?”

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Your mood quickly soured by the time Loki led the way upstairs to your room; of course there was a blizzard incoming, and of course it would mean you were trapped here longer than anticipated with the most inconsiderate man alive. He took the stairs two at a time, leaving you behind to struggle with your luggage, while his belongings were no doubt stored easily inside that stupid pocket dimension of his.

If just one more thing went wrong on this trip, you feared you might actually lose it - consequences be damned.

By the time you made it down the hallway to the door of your room, Loki was casually leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and a brooding expression on his face. If you didn’t hate him so much, it would have been a beautiful sight to behold.

“Hey, thanks for offering to help,” you called out sarcastically as you made your way over to him. “I’m absolutely shocked by how thoughtful and courteous you are.”

Loki scoffed and pushed himself off the wall as he pulled the key out of his pocket. “I could have just gone inside and left you wondering which door was ours. You should be grateful I didn’t.”

“Aww, is someone a little mad that I made him think about Odin?” you taunted, enjoying the way he tensed up again at the sound of his father’s name.

“No, it was just foolish. Do not make that mistake again…”

The door swung open and you rolled your eyes as you followed him inside. “Are you threatening me?”

Loki whipped around with barely restrained fury as soon as the door closed. “We’re meant to be under cover here, yes? So do you really think it’s a good idea to be throwing around my actual name just to infuriate me?” he snapped angrily, eyes blazing and fists clenching at his sides.

Your stomach did a flip in your abdomen, and you struggled to maintain an air of defiance as he continued. “You don’t know who anyone is here, or who could be listening to our conversations. So keep your mouth shut if you don’t want us to be discovered! Am I being clear?”

You nodded meekly, because that was all you could manage while kicking yourself. He was right, you were being foolish and forgetting the true purpose of this trip. Hydra could easily have eyes and ears everywhere, and if you kept pissing Loki off, he might not be inclined to save you if necessary.

And you hated that it might be necessary, because he was a literal God with infinite magic at his disposal, while you were just a fallible little human that he absolutely despised.

As Loki turned away and started pulling the drapes shut, you distracted yourself with examining the room you’d been given. Three large windows took up the entire outside wall of the room, and on either side of the lone queen-sized bed were two end-tables, each with a dark green lamp providing the only light to the room. A stone fireplace sat on the opposite side of the bed, decorated with greenery and frosted miniature Christmas trees, and a tiny wooden desk and chair were the only other pieces of furniture in the room.

It was definitely cozy, even you couldn’t deny that, but that just made it worse. In any other circumstances, you might have enjoyed this break; but the Christmas decorations just reminded you of how alone you were, and Loki’s presence only reminded you of how unnecessary you were.

And it was already starting to get uncomfortably cold inside the room. Just before Loki yanked the last curtain closed, you caught a glimpse of the snow outside; it had quickly transformed from light flurries into heavy sheets of frozen precipitation. You were in for a very cold, very long and lonely night, and daylight couldn't come soon enough.

A deep sense of dread settled in the base of your spine as you realized how long you might be trapped here with this narcissistic, self-important and delusional mockery of all the sacrifices you’d made to get to this point of your career.

You’d foregone relationships with family, friends and potential lovers to spend every waking moment either training your body or honing your skills, trying to prove your worth and dedication to keeping this world safe from anything that ever threatened it.

And the planet’s most recent threat, the reason for the Avengers’ very existence, was making himself busy pulling pillows and blankets off the bed to make his own on the hardwood floor. Loki was silent as he worked, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually hurt by your teasing.

You hated it. You hated this - especially since you hadn’t expected to feel so badly about taunting him. Clearing your throat, you set your suitcase on the chair and pretended to look for something inside. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened before. I guess I’m just…on edge.”

“Why bother?” he replied coldly, and you didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t actually hurt, or if it was because he didn’t care that you were potentially sorry about hurting him. Either way, the dismissal stung.

You continued rummaging through the suitcase, anything to avoid looking at your roommate for the night. How long had it been since you’d shared such close quarters with another person? Had there been anyone since college? You already felt raw and exposed by the idea of falling asleep within the same four walls as another person; but at the very least, Loki was sticking to his word about sleeping on the floor and not in the bed with you.

“You’re not worried about the mission? Or the blizzard? Or the fact that we might kill each other at any moment?” you laughed nervously, hoping to at least break some of the tension.

Loki sighed. “This mission is a joke. The blizzard might be a problem, and yes - we might certainly try to kill each other…but none of that is cause for real concern - not to me, anyway.”

Your brow furrowed, and you turned to look at him; the God of Mischief was on his hands and knees, arranging pillows and blankets on the floor. It was an amusing sight, and you struggled to maintain focus. “Wait - you think this mission is a joke?”

He paused what he was doing, staring off into the distance with regret in his eyes as if he’d already said too much but couldn’t bring himself to stop. “Don’t think for one moment that I don’t know what this mission actually is…”

You rubbed your neck nervously, unsure of where he was going with this.

“I know how easily it would be for Stark to send in his machines to do this reconnaissance, and that the Scepter likely isn’t here. Obviously, I’d be the last person they’d ever want close to it,” Loki continued, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefingers. “I know the others are probably on the other side of the world recovering it as we speak, and that this mission is completely pointless - hence, assigning you and I to it.”

Your heart sank as he spoke, knowing that he was probably right; that this mission was utterly pointless, that it wouldn’t advance you any further in your career. That the only thing this mission was going to lead to was meaningless and unnecessary frustration and pain for the both of you.

“I know what they - and you - don’t particularly like or trust me. And you have good reason not to.” Loki cast a tragic glance in your direction before quickly looking away again.

“So why are you here then? If you don’t want to be here, and if you don’t…” you trailed off, unsure if you should finish that thought.

Loki sighed and shook his head. “It…doesn’t matter,” he answered sadly, and your heart broke over the entire situation. You didn’t know what to say to make either of you feel better, and it was likely that nothing ever would.

“There. I think that’ll do nicely,” he announced pleasantly, abruptly changing the subject and rousing you from your pensive thoughts. You glanced over to see a grown man - a God, in fact - standing proudly over the neatly arranged pillows and blankets on the floor, and for a brief moment you couldn’t help but be amused by the sight - that is, until you noticed the state of your sleeping quarters for the foreseeable future.

“You stripped off most of the bed!” you protested angrily, examining the three paltry blankets left to keep you warm overnight.

“On the contrary - I stripped precisely half of the bed,” Loki replied as he began to remove his coat. “Of course, there’s a simple and quite easy way to double your warmth if you’re so concerned…”

“Absolutely not.” The words came out harsher than you’d intended, but even just sharing four walls felt way too close to him; sharing a bed was probably way more than you ever could handle.

“Fair enough. Shall I light a fire to keep us warm then?” Loki offered without skipping a beat, the sudden change in his tone giving you multiple rounds of whiplash. He stepped over to the fireplace to examine it, running his hands over the stone hearth’s arch before crouching next to the pile of logs.

How was he able to switch so suddenly, from profound soundness to being so thoughtful? You wanted to accept the kindness and be grateful for the change in tone, but all it did was put you on edge. You sat down on the bed and began to unlace your boots, still desperately trying not to look at him. “Don’t bother on my account,” was all the response you could manage.

The room was silent for a moment, and you could almost feel the gears turning inside Loki’s head as he tried to come up with something else to say. But why was he trying so hard? You had been counting on him retreating into himself the way he always did back at Stark Tower, or worst case - that he would be deliberately messing with you, making your life hell and again ruining your chances at proving yourself worthy.

You could feel his gaze boring into the back of your skull as your boots clattered to the floor. And when he still hadn’t tried to speak, you cautiously looked over your shoulder to him. “Was there something else you wanted?”

Loki sighed and let his eyes drift away as he shook his head. An expression of restrained exasperation crawled across his features as he made his way to the makeshift bed on the floor. “Nothing. I don’t need anything from you…”

Your brow furrowed and guilt poured into your veins with every step he took. But guilt about what? You weren’t friends. You owed him nothing. This was just a mission - nothing more, and nothing less. You opened your mouth to speak, but Loki was already laying down on the floor with his back to you, clearly uninterested in speaking anymore that night.

The room seemed colder after Loki withdrew. It was an odd, incredibly distracting feeling - one that you hadn’t ever prepared yourself for, and didn’t have the energy to explore at the moment. Sleep was calling out to you, beckoning you closer as it always did whenever the feelings all became too much.

It took so much effort to crawl underneath the three blankets on your bed, and you didn’t even bother changing out of your street clothes before cocooning yourself inside. You thought about everything in your life that had led up to this incredibly excruciating moment, all the choices you’d made and the pain you’d gone through.

All that sacrifice, and where had it gotten you?

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Sleep did not come easy for you that night. Despite your body exhausted from travel and the gentle bed cradling your wearied soul, you laid awake far longer than you would have expected. So many thoughts flitting uncontrollably across your mind, so many shivers slipping along your frigid bones.

A cold draft seeped in through the seams of the windowsills as the snow poured down outside. You were still awake, curled up on your side with the blankets pulled tight around your narrow frame. Eyelids pulled shut and breath held cautiously, you struggled to keep from shivering too much as you imagined Loki on the floor.

He had to be colder than you were, and part of you wanted to ignore his possible discomfort. He deserved it, didn’t he? Maybe if he was more pleasant to be around, it wouldn’t have to be like this.

But another part of you hoped he’d be so uncomfortable that he’d ask to join you in the bed. Your thoughts returned to when he had slipped his arm around your waist earlier that evening, and you struggled to keep your heart rate in check. It was wrong, you knew it was so wrong because you were supposed to hate him, the villain who had terrorized New York City, and he was supposed to hate you, a simple mortal who was only good for kneeling.

“I know you’re awake.” His voice was a whisper, a small shadow in a room full of empty ones. You slowly opened your eyes, your pupils taking their time to adjust the dark and make out the furniture inside the room. You wanted to sit up, to peer out into the world and see if he looked any different on the floor.

“Can’t sleep. It’s too cold,” you murmured softly, barely able to even pull the blankets tighter around you.

Loki sighed off in the distance. “The power’s been knocked out by the storm, so the heating’s off.”

It was only then that you realized the bedside table lamps had gone out. Too busy retreating inside yourself, the only warm place you had left. “Oh. Hadn’t noticed.”

“I could light the fire now, if you’d like.”

No, you thought. No, that won’t do. That’s not what I want from you. “Why are you being so nice to me now?”

Loki stirred on the floor, presumably shifting underneath his blankets. He could be sitting up right now, looking at you in the dark and you wouldn’t ever know. “Some things are easier to say in the dark.”

You thought for a moment, wondering about how to beckon him closer without risking rejection, or your dignity. This shouldn’t happen; and yet, it never ever would in the light. “Then let’s stay in the dark.”

Loki didn’t respond, and silence descended upon the room again. You couldn’t stop the shivers tormenting your flesh, and your teeth clattered together as you waited for a response. This time, you were sure you were going to freeze to death, despite burning in the waiting, and yearning, and longing that rolled up and down your spine.

“But where there’s light…there’s heat,” Loki finally answered. His voice was closer, much closer now; he’d stood up, and maybe he was right next to the bed. Could you reach out and touch him? Should you?

“I’m doing just fine in the cold.”

Loki chuckled, and you felt the blankets pull away as the mattress dipped under his weight. “You shouldn’t lie to the God of Mischief, dear,” he whispered softly as he settled in behind you, curling his knees behind yours and brushing his nose against your ear.

His body was so very warm, and you were aching for his touch. “I think it’s only fair. You came to my bed, and left your blankets on the floor…” you sassed, unable to help yourself.

“You want me to retrieve them?” Loki’s voice carried the slightest hint of mockery as he started to pull away. You panicked and grabbed his hand, eagerly pulling his arm back around your waist.

“So fussy…” he murmured with a smile, his voice hot against your neck as he settled in to spoon you once more. “You want heat, but not light. You hate me, but you want me close…”

You melted in his arms, and forced out a soft, defiant sigh. “You have no idea what I want…”

“And you do?” He matched your sigh with one of his own, and pressed his hand flat against your stomach, moving languidly over the fabric of your many shirts and jackets. You could feel how much he wanted to move his hand upwards to more stimulating areas, and it was so very thrilling.

“So what do you want, hmm? Why did you tell the innkeeper we were engaged, when that wasn’t our planned cover story?” you whispered, shifting your hips and ass against his crotch.

Loki swallowed a deep groan, and you could feel your own arousal beginning to coat your inner thighs. His hand latched onto your hip, but he didn’t stop you from moving.

“Was it just to piss me off, or was it because you wanted to pretend it was true?” you continued, shifting back against him and hoping the movement would cause your clothing to reveal a little bare skin.

“The…first option. Obviously…” Loki whispered, his lips grazing over the shell of your ear as his hips started to grind against yours.

You swallowed back a moan, trying desperately to ignore his hardened length against the swell of your ass. “Which one of us is the liar now?”

“Gods, do you ever stop talking?!” he hissed as he began rummaging underneath your jacket, eagerly searching for bare skin as he pulled your shirt upwards. His hand finally found your bare hip, and his touch was white hot as he began unbuttoning your jeans.

This time, you didn’t bother hiding the moan, and you twisted ever so slightly underneath the sheets to encourage him to keep going. Your heart beat frantically in your chest and your lips parted, intending to tease him one more time with the brattiest ‘make me’ ever spoken aloud…

And then his fingers dipped beneath the waistband to slip between your slick thighs.

The sound that tumbled from your lips was equally parts gasp and whimper as his fingertips grazed over your soaked clit, and his breath was heavy against your neck. “There we go. That’s more like it…” he whispered breathlessly, slowly dragging his fingers back and forth.

Your thighs drifted apart, as much as they could while trapped inside the unyielding jeans, and your hips rolled eagerly as he pressed harder against your clit. Heat flooded your veins, pooling beneath your cheeks and spilling out of your lungs as you whimpered for more.

Loki slipped his other arm around your shoulder, those fingers curling in your hair as his lips started to kiss and suck along your neck. “So sensitive…have you always been this wet for me?”

“Yes…” you moaned honestly, unable to deny it any longer. You’d say anything to make him keep going, to keep those delicate fingers pressing and massaging and coaxing endless satisfaction from you.

“That’s a shame. We could have been doing this the whole time then…” he groaned heavily, shuddering and sighing along as if he was getting as much pleasure out of this as you were.

“Oh, my god - Loki!” you gasped as he slipped a finger inside, slowly pushing and withdrawing it from your swollen, throbbing pussy. Your hips bucked with his movements, and your fingers curled around your clothing, desperately trying to pull and shift to give him more room to work.

Loki smiled against your neck, and brought his lips up to nibble on your earlobe as he added a second finger. “This feels good, doesn’t it? You’re enjoying what I’m doing to you?”

That familiar coil of release was beginning to contract inside your core, tighter than it ever had before. Frantic whimpers of ecstasy fell from your lips, unashamed and without second-guessing. With your eyes closed and your hips writhing, you moaned louder and louder as your climax approached.

“Careful, little one. Do you want the innkeeper to hear us breaking our vows of chastity?” he taunted in a low, thrumming voice against your ear.

“I don’t care, I don’t care! Just, please - keep going!”

Loki’s fingers moved faster still, skillfully and without hesitation, as if he was completely determined to bring you to Heaven himself. But just as the floodgates were about to open, just as you were about to come so very hard, he cruelly withdrew his fingers.

“What?! No!” Your eyes flew open in shock as the pressure receded and the coil in your belly began to loosen.

Loki gazed at you with a triumphant grin on his face, his emerald eyes blazing in the dark. “Maybe now you’ll be nicer to me…now that you know what I can do to you…” he murmured, bringing his fingers to his lips and sucking your arousal from them.

Your mind reeled uncontrollably, so furious and yet still so turned on by the pleasure he’d brought and subsequently taken from you. “I- I can’t believe you…Wh-why would you’d d-do this…?” you stammered, clumsily pushing yourself up to sitting.

Loki settled on his back, grinning from ear to ear as he watched you struggling to pull your jacket off. “Surely you can. But the real question is…what are you going to do about it, hmm?”

“Oh, my God, I hate you. I hate you so much,” you groaned as you finally freed the zipper and yanked the jacket off your frame. You stumbled out of the bed, thighs trembling violently as you worked to remove the rest of your clothing. You weren’t lying; you did hate him, but goddammit he was so alluring and you desperately needed to come.

Loki watched hungrily as you stripped the rest of your clothing away and climbed back onto the bed, settling yourself over his hips. “Well, this is certainly an interesting strategy,” he whispered as he curled a hand behind your neck and pulled your lips down to his.��

You moaned deeply as you kissed him back, violently and passionately moving your lips and tongue with his. You eagerly rolled your bare pussy against his clothed hips, searching for any sort of friction and for a way to tease him more than he’d teased you, to make sure you wouldn’t be denied a second time.

He met your lips just as eagerly, groaning and moaning against your mouth as he moved his hands to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing across your nipples and driving you mad with want. Your hands moved to his jacket, grabbing and struggling to align the zipper with the chain and be able to feel his skin directly against yours.

“Use your magic, undo your clothing…” you whispered frantically against his lips, unable to see or think clearly.

“Absolutely not. Show me how much you want me…” Loki hummed teasingly, shifting his hands downwards to grasp your ass and force you to roll harder against his hips.

You grinned, pleased with his words, and pulled back to sit upright on his hips. With your full weight pressing down, you rolled yourself harder against him, and his back arched in pleasure. When his jaw clenched tight and he rolled his hips with yours, you violently pulled the jacket zipper down and then ripped his shirt open.

“Oh, you are going to pay for that, minx!” Loki hissed angrily as shirt buttons went flying across the room. He pulled his hand away as if preparing to smack your ass, but you ignored it, leaned forward to take his nipple between your lips.

Loki moaned loudly as you sucked, flicking your tongue as he squirmed and writhed beneath you. His eyes closed and both of his hands returned to your ass, and you matched every one of his moans with some of your own. Vindication and pleasure rushed up and down your spine - and then he finally magicked his clothes away.

You found yourself pressed directly against the length of his throbbing cock, and you both moaned loudly in unison at the intimate contact. He wasn’t even inside you yet, but you couldn’t believe how amazing it felt already. You shifted to bury your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and basking in the warmth of his naked body as your hips gyrated together.

The blizzard outside was forgotten, the cold air nipping at your bare skin was no longer a concern, and in that moment you couldn’t remember why you ever hated him. He whimpered in your ear and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as your hips writhed in unison, and soon that coil was wrapping itself around every fiber of your being again.

There was nothing anyone could do to stop you from coming this time; in fact, Loki actively encouraged you to keep going through a heated, growling voice. “Yes, take it from me. Let it all out, I’ve got you…” he commanded, his fingers pressing harder into your flesh.

The orgasm ripped through you, searing every nerve ending as you thrashed on top of him. Your fingers and toes curled beyond what you thought was ever possible, and your muscles kept tensing and relaxing, grinding and rolling in a desperate attempt to keep this pleasure flowing.

Loki held on tightly, groaning and gasping right along with you until you finally started to come back down. One by one your muscles relaxed until you lay limp, breathing heavily between parted lips on top of him. You were finally sated, with no thoughts passing through you any longer; maybe now you could finally fall asleep…

Satisfied that you had gotten yours - and the better of him - you started to roll away, but his arms tightened around your body, keeping you on top of him. “Oh, I don’t think so, darling. I’m not done with you yet…”

Your eyes fluttered back open as Loki adjusted your body on top of his, and before you could muster the strength to tease him again, he was pushing himself inside you. It felt incredible, like his body was molded to fit inside yours, and you couldn’t believe he’d somehow figured out what your favorite position was.

A deep whimper of pleasure was all you could manage as you took him in, his cock pulsating inside you and filling you entirely. Loki moved his hands back down to grip your ass as he began to thrust upwards, his thighs tensing and pelvis tilting to hit your sweet spot. You shifted your knees away from his hips and hovered above them as he drove himself into you over and over again.

Almost immediately you were on the verge of coming a second time, and you cried out his name as every nerve ending fired off in rapid succession. Loki’s thrusts were relentless as he came apart with you, his fingers digging into your flesh and hips bucking wildly and uncontrollably beneath you.

You clung to each other the entire time, your minds wracked with pleasure and bodies spent until you were both just panting and laying peacefully in each other’s arms. When clarity returned, you had no idea how to react; should you push him away? Should you say something rude? Was he going to beat you to either of those options first?

The deepest, most vulnerable part of you just wanted to stay there, lingering in the bliss you both had created with each other. You’d never had a partner this exquisite before, and you didn’t know what you were going to do when you returned home - let alone the next morning.

You nestled in against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating - steadily, calmly, peacefully. Loki kept his arms around you, and his fingers ran through your hair, gently massaging your scalp as he held you close.

“I’ve got a lot of amends to make,” Loki said quietly, his voice tinged with melancholy.

You blinked and cautiously brought your hand to his chest, placing it soothingly over his heart. “What do you mean?”

“Earlier you asked why I was here. I’ve got a lot of amends to make,” he repeated, placing his hand over yours. “For New York, for the pain I’ve caused my father and brother, for letting myself be - ”

Loki swallowed hard and shook his head, and could almost feel the regret swelling in his eyes. There was something important he wasn’t sharing; maybe he didn’t know how, or maybe he didn’t know if he could trust you yet. Something deep inside you longed to earn that trust, something you didn’t quite understand.

“You don’t need to say it if you don’t want to. But…I’d be willing to listen, whenever you are ready,” you replied sincerely, hoping he’d believe you. And then you continued on, to make a joke and hopefully lighten the mood. “First, though, I think we need to agree to a cease-fire. In the spirit of Christmas, and whatnot.”

Loki smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I knew you’d be the first one to concede…” he murmured playfully. “But I’m feeling generous. Let’s just call it a draw…”

Your mind reeled with possibilities, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make anything worse or ruin the moment. “Really? I thought your hatred of me was permanent…” you answered cautiously.

Loki shifted his hand to gently grasp your chin, tilting your head to look at him. “I don’t hate you. You just…bewilder and confound me…”

His gaze was soft and warm, and it almost took your breath away. If he was this delicate with someone he found this irritating, how tender could he be with someone he actually loved? And could he ever actually love you someday?

You forced a smile, and traced his cheekbones with your fingertips, hoping he couldn’t read your thoughts. “I don’t know. Maybe all the teasing and insulting was what made this so good?” you murmured playfully.

Loki returned your smile, although there was a hint of sadness you couldn’t quite place etched upon his features. “I suppose we’ll see what happens in tomorrow’s light, won’t we?”

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─ ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

Click here to be added to my Loki fic tag list! 💚

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mirohlayo · 3 months

Note

hi could you please write how all the f1 boys would handle fans comments about their gf not being conventionally attractive or being plus size? esp george or logan 🩵

Hii ! I didn't write how all of the f1 drivers cuz it would be too much but I did write George and Logan. Also sorry for taking a little time, I was swamped with classes this week 🫶

F1 DRIVERS DEFENDING YOU ON

YOUR APPEARANCE

( include piastri, norris, leclerc, sainz, hamilton, george, verstappen, ricciardo, sargeant & gasly )

warning : insecurities ??, things related to physical appearance, body ect...

note : i don't know if my warnings are accurate lol

─ OSCAR PIASTRI

to him, you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. so of course, seeing those awful comments about your appearance, face and even body makes him so damn furious. in front of people, especially in front of cameras, he would defends you in an implicit way, more like voice up about body positivity and respect every type of body. but in private, when there's only you two, he'll never stop bringing about how perfect and gorgeous you look, and that he'll cherish you for the rest of his life.

─ LANDO NORRIS

boy would be mad mad. ain't no way for him to let anyone talk about you in such a disrespectful and bad way. he'll make sure you're always comfortable and secure with your own body and appearance, by praising your beauty literally every single hour. and he doesn't think twice before rejecting every single one person who talks badly about you. he always posts some stories about you, where he basically overwhelms you by compliments and obviously to fuck off your haters in his sassy way.

─ CHARLES LECLERC

he was actually shocked by the fact people hate on your body and appearance because he literally loves these parts of you. first he'll reassure you, comforts you because after all you being a goddess is just the truth. and then he would reply to every hate comments about you, defending you like it was the end of his life. he reminds you everyday to not feel bad and guilty about yourself, to not listen to those bullshit because not a single one from them are real. just listen to him and his devoted compliments.

─ CARLOS SAINZ

it's simple, if someone talks bad about you then he'll talk bad about them. his girl is the definition of beauty and perfection. he genuinely doesn't care about your attractiveness or your body weight, cause he'll love these things anyway. he's always so enamored by how beautiful you look, and he needs people to know that. so whenever someone is insulting you, he just reminds them that there is nothing more shameful than attacking a marvel like you. a gem of beauty like you.

─ LEWIS HAMILTON

i know for sure he'll immediately defends you. and the cause in general, doing an inspired speech about bodies. he doesn't really insults or disrespect people too, cause after all he prefers keeping that energy to compliment you. but still, he makes sure haters won't never ever again talk about you in a horrible way. then he'll suggest you to stop social medias and just give up on your phone for a bit, to only focus on his words and your natural beauty.

─ GEORGE RUSSEL

first, his priority is you. by the second he saw those comments, he immediately look out for you. even if you haven't seen the comments, he's already there to reassure you. to shower you of heartwarming compliments and just genuinely appreciate your beauty, praising your curves and your body. then he'll try to ensure that you are not aware of these messages, that at no time you'll be confronted with bad comments about you. he makes it a promise, because you deserve it.

─ MAX VERSTAPPEN

the man is out of control when it comes to you. and especially when there are negative comments about your physique. it’s something he loves about you, something he adores deeply. he can literally admire you for hours without getting bored. there is so much perfection in your body. and no need to talk about your attractiveness. so as long as you know that, you're fine. but if those comments get out of hand, then he's not afraid to speak up and talk shit about whoever is insulting you.

─ DANIEL RICCIARDO

if there's one thing he can't tolerate, it's seeing you depressed because of hateful comments. he doesn't understand at all why people would hate on such a beautiful and amazing person like you ? but other than that, he'll be the best comfort boyfriend. he makes you laugh, your cheeks ache because of smiling too hard. he'll try to improve your mood by telling you funny jokes, stories, everything that makes you feel better. and on the other hand, secretly defending you on social medias by using some fake account.

─ LOGAN SARGEANT

boy is so protective towards you. maybe even overprotective. but that's his way to keep you away from bad things, such as awful comments about your physical appearance. he defends you for sure. more than anything else, day and night, he puts all of his anger into his replies to shut their mouths. and that both in public and on platforms. he doesn't understand why people don't recognize the beauty of your face, body, or even personality. just everything about yourself actually. cause you can be sure he's so fucking in love with these aspects of you.

─ PIERRE GASLY

oh man is mad. super mad even. you're literally the most precious person to his eyes, and by that logic the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. you're a piece of art, and people should know this. he won't hesitate twice before calling names the ones who disrespect you. maybe he's a bit too harsh but they just deserve it, nobody can talk bad about you, it's impossible for him. and then you can be sure he'll shower you in lot of compliments the next few weeks. telling you how gorgeous you are.

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #oscar piastri x reader #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #george russel x reader #max verstappen x reader #logan sargeant x reader

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fuwushiguro · 10 months

Note

Hi love! Your content is great and always makes my head spin🤤 I was wondering if you could maybe do fitness trainer Toji with a plush reader? Like you go to the gym wanting to slim down and ask for a trainer and before any of the other loser trainers can get to you, Toji steps in. He is constantly reassuring you the entire time And at the end of the session he just can’t resist from not touching you🥺🫶🏼 thank you in advance and I hope you have the best day possible!

I can literally imagine Toji quoting this in his head as he hears you talk negatively about your body (not proofed I'm lazy) warnings: chubby!reader, body issues, raw sex, slightly public, praise etc etc lmk if i missed any

"Huh?"

"I literally need a gym trainer who's going to help me look like a rake."

"I- what? A fuckin' rake? What are you talking about?"

"My boyfriend cheated on me, and of course the girl he slept with is tiny. He left me for her... I don't want him back but I want to prove a point!" you explain, looking at him with hopeful eyes, desperate for him to help with your mission.

He stared at you, and it scared you a little. You aren't sure if you've said something wrong or if he just had no interest in your tragic love life. But you can only assume he doesn't get many clients with this attitude.

"Fine, kid. But listen, I'm not helping you 'look like a rake'." he tells you.

"B-But..."

"I'll help you train. If you lose weight, whatever. If you gain muscle... I think that'll be a better revenge body to make your ex regret leaving you." he explains.

"O-Oh... really? Okay, I trust you."

He smirks at that.

It's not often he's trusted by women.

"I hate sit ups." you pant, breathlessly.

"It's your last set, just do it 'n then you can go home." he tells you, as he sits beside you drinking some water from his comically large bottle. By the size of it, you'd think he'd be the one who had been working out for the last hour.

"C'mere." he shuffles his body so that he's closer to you, positioning your legs and hips like you're weightless. "You might find it easier now. I'll stay here, gimme ten more."

"Ten?!"

"Do it."

You sigh, lying flat as you mentally prepare yourself for how bad your stomach is about to ache. Your cheeks fill as you blow out a puff of air. You're painfully aware of his eyes on you, and honestly, you're embarrassed. You begin to sit up again and again as you think about his incredible physique. About how he surely thinks the same way as your ex boyfriend.

Your eyes lock with his with ever sit up you perform, his hands grabbing your knees to keep you in place. Your noses almost touch and his eyes are filled with what you can only assume is disgust. You're humiliating yourself trying to make yourself appear more attractive to the male species.

"Aaaand done, good job, kid." he smiles at you, his small mouth scar pulling slightly as he does. "So, wanna make this a regular thing?"

You hold up a finger as you catch your breath, eventually nodding. He holds his hand out to you, helping you to your feet with ease. He walks away from you, tilting his head and indicating for you to follow. You aren't sure where he's taking you, but you follow mindlessly.

"My calendar is in my office, I'll get you booked in for a few sessions this month and then you can just give them your card details at the fron desk." he explains.

"Sure, sounds good." you smile, he walks into his office first and holds the door opening, closing it right after you come in. Your ears prick when you hear the door lock, but for whatever reason you don't feel alarmed.

The air is knocked from your lungs as you feel his hands on your waist, lifting you into the air and practically slamming you onto his desk.

"W-What are you doing?!" you gasp.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, it's almost polite but not really. He's expecting one answer, and luckily for you you're nodding before you can think of declining. He hikes up your leg and squeezes your plush thigh as his lips connect with yours. "You're so soft... so fuckin' perfect."

"Shut up." you laugh, you try to kiss him again but he pulls away.

"I'm serious." he lifts your up your sports bra and tosses it aside, grabbing a handful of your large chest. He pushes you backwards so that your spine is flat against his desk, tugging off your leggings with no hesitation. He peppers kisses across your tender skin. Your thighs, your tummy, your heavy tits. "There's nothin' wrong with your body, y'know? Your ex is a fuckin' pussy."

Your body tenses up, feeling horrendously aware of how exposed your figure is and how he's examining you.

"I- I was too heavy for him." you pant, unsure whether to try and chat casually about it or make a run for your clothes and the exit. "I don't blame him."

"You weigh the same as paper to me, darlin'." he smirks, picking you up and making you wrap your legs around his waist. He slams you against the wall as you makeout heavily. "You want this cock? F-Feel how hard I am for ya?"

"P-Please. You're so big.. please fuck me." you beg. You paw at his shirt, desperate to feel the muscles that you could clearly see beneath.

His facial expression is almost menacing as he knows he's won, he's got you exactly where he wants you and you're begging for his cock. Thick fingers dig into malleable flesh, bruises of his name signed into your skin like a binding contract that you're his new favourite play thing.

"You're so fuckin' perfect, sweetheart. Love cute bodies like yours..." he tells you, staring into your eyes to catch your expression, grinning at the way your cheeks flush and a bead of sweat forms in your hairline.

"Aah! Ah, fuck.. 'h my god..." you moan, the embarrassment overwhelming you and the feeling of his heavy cock splitting you open making your heart race.

He begins a brutal pace, easily holding your body up with one muscular arm as he slams into you, his free hand tweaking your pert nipple. The way your eyes cross dumbly as he ruins your insides almost makes him blow his load on the spot.

"Too— mmmnn.." you moan, unable to form a coherent thought.

"Too what?" he laughs a little, "Too? Have I fucked you so stupid you already can't think? Oh sweetheart... think I'm in love." he tells you as he kisses your neck.

Your fingers scratch his back repeatedly and he can only his from the pain and pleasure of it all. He's happy to be marked by you, he's going to do the same to your insides after all.

"'m gonna cum, I'm— ah—!" your cunt tightens around him as you finish, and soon enough he's pressing his body as much as he can into yours, pinning you between him and the wall as his balls tighten and he paints your desperate, wanting walls.

You pant against each other, neither of you moving for a while. All you can bring yourself to do is catch your breath and stare into his jade coloured eyes. And eventually, he helps you down and offers you a towel before sitting at his desk and checking through his calendar.

"Are you free Friday night?" he asks.

"O-Oh, Toji, I'm too exhausted from that workout to even think about my next training session." you chuckle a little, wiping yourself down before collecting your scattered clothing.

"No, baby, I'm takin' you on a date." he smiles at you earnestly. "Perfect body, perfect pussy, and newly single. You're crazy if you think I'm not taking full advantage of the opportunity to make you mine."

#toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji smut #daddy toji #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut

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kyluff · 5 months

Text

— ↺ Pregnancy Cravings

✎ gojo + geto + nanami + toji + choso x reader !

✦ summary ➠ headcannons on how jjk men react to your cravings during pregnancy.

✦ warnings ➠ pregnancy, nausea, puking

✦ note ➠Hi! Can there be a part 2 of this like pregnancy cravings? - asked by erajoie07 under my ‘baby daddy’ post.

✪ Satoru Gojo

— Pregnancy had brought both negative and positive aspects to your life; exhaustion and energy, tears and happy tears, hate and love. But a very prominent thing that you, and Gojo, noticed was that it brought many cravings. That’s what brought you to where you are now, walking down a street that was littered with food and trinket stands alike.

It all started when you said you wanted ice cream, but not just any ice cream that you get in a pail. No, you wanted to have it scooped by a worker and given out in a large waffle cone, it had to be a waffle cone, not a regular cone. If it wasn’t then you didn’t want to eat it anymore. So you loving husband brought you to a ice cream stand.

“Thank you.” You heard your husband thank the cashier, taking the cone and turning to bring it your way. You were sat on a bench, wishing to sit for a while and rest your swollen feet. To be honest, you started to feel a little queasy ever since you reached the farmers market and had taken in all the smells it produced. It was hard carrying around a almost eight month baby. “Here you go, your precious waffle cone and chocolate ice cream.”

“Actually, I think I’ll pass. I’m not feeling well.” You grimaced, scrunching your nose up and the sight of the dripping ice cream. “Thank you for getting for me though.” You kissed his cheek.

“That’s alright, I can have it for you.” He assured you. “Feeling sick? Want to go back home?” He asked, sitting down beside you and pulling you closer to lean onto his body. Sure, he did let you drag him all the way here just to get you your special treat, but he understood. Pregnancy did a lot of things to a woman.

“No! I think I just need something salty to eat, sweetness it totally throwing me off right now.” You nuzzled into his shoulder, letting all your weight fall onto him.

“Good idea, maybe a soft pretzel, how does that sound?” He bumped your shoulder and you nodded as a response, letting him hoist you up. He secured an arm around you, steadying you while you walked to the pretzel stand, his other hand still holding onto the cone.

Once you had the pretzel secured, you bit into it, smiling at the salty taste that melted into your tongue. Quickly though, your smile faded and your lips trembled in an attempt to hold in the puke that was inevitably rising up your throat. You rushed to the nearest garbage can and let it all out, Gojo followed behind you in worry.

“I think it’s about time we go home.” He had already finished your forgotten ice cream, using one of his hands to pull your hair out of your face while the other worked to rub comforting shapes onto you back.

“No, no. I need a drink, I heard that ginger ale was good for upset stomachs.” You tried to reason, straightening your posture to stand fully.

He breathed in once, shutting his eyes slowly. Why were you being so stubborn, you were clearly sick and needed rest, but you insisted on staying here. He’d go easy on you, you were carrying his child after all. He regained himself, nodding in agreement. “If you get sick again, we’re going home, that’s final.”

You frowned, feeling guilty about making him do all these things. Once you reach a stand that had what you needed, you took small sips of the bubbling liquid, hoping it would react ok.

Gojo was watching you intently, to see if you showed any signs of discomfort or distress.

You paused, feeling another wave of nausea wash over you again. You did your best to hide it from the man that was looking at you, smiling shyly and starting to walk back down the street. “Let’s go home, I’m tried.” It came out shakily.

You did go home, speed walking to the bathroom to relieve yourself of this yucky feeling. You hovered over the toilet, all of the contents of your day coming up. You sighed and wiped your lip, finishing washing your hands. You reached for the door, but Gojo beat you to it. He had a disappointed look on his face, swaying his head side to side.

His silence made you speak, caving into it. “Look, I felt bad, I made you run all over just to get me some food. And I barely ate any of it!”

He softened, bringing your face close to his. “I don’t care about that stuff, I care about you, alright? Your my wife, my pregnant wife that is going to be the mother of my future kid, so if you want me to run you errands then I don’t care. I’ll buy you ten ice creams if that’s what you want.”

✪ Suguru Geto

— You and Suguru have been married for some time now, four years to be exact. And you weren’t first time parents either, you had twin girls that were already three years old by now. You both thought it was the right time to bring another kid into the mix. That’s how you became pregnant now, with your third child.

Your toddlers were asleep finally after they did their toddler activities all around the house. Now it was your time to relax, maybe read a few chapters of the book you started. You entered your bed, turning off the ceiling light and sticking with the candles you had lit all around the bedroom.

As you make yourself comfortable on your bed, your stomach decided to let out a large gurgle, signalling you were hungry. Really? Right now, after you were just about to start reading. You sighed, struggling to lift yourself off the squishy bed. Everything was more difficult when you had a belly the size of a watermelon attached to you. You got to the point where you were sat up, about to slide on your slippers before your husband had barged through the door.

He smiled at you, holding up a brown paper grocery bag up in front of him. “Just swung by the store and saw that they were finally back in stock with the chocolate you’ve been wanting so bad lately.”

You almost cried at the words Geto spoke, he had perfect timing. You were brought back down when he pulled the chocolate bar out of the bag and passed it to you.

“I love you.” You couldn’t help but blurt out, pulling him down with you and you fell down against the bed, kissing him deeply.

“Love you too.” He laughed, you were very random sometimes but he would never dare decline saying a ‘I love you’, especially when it involved you.

✪ Kento Nanami

— It was fairly early in your pregnancy, but it had already affected your emotions greatly. It made you into such a grump, and when you weren’t grumpy you were a cry baby. You’d cry at the littlest things, like if you were watching tv and a sad commercial was shown. You couldn’t help it though, it’s just how your body decided to react to the growing babe in your stomach.

You were a very lucky woman to have such a loving and considerate husband. He understood what you were going through right now, not even batting an eye when you screamed at him in anger, or when you wailed into his embrace.

Right now you were doing the latter of the two, you had been sitting on the couch and had the tv playing when a commercial about elderly dogs came on. When Nanami saw what was on the screen, he quickly sprung into action, switching the channel and looking at you to see how’d you react to this. You were trying to keep it in, taking deep breaths in and out. He stared at you, waiting for something to happen, anything. Then it did, trails of tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Nanami, did you see that poor, old dog?!” You cried out, pointing at the tv even though he had already changed the channel. “He was grey all over, and he had crooked teeth, and his eyes had a shine to them like he was crying!”

You fell into his lap, curling into a sad ball of cries. “And he looked so tired and done with life!”

“Yes, I saw.” He was usually good at coming up with what to say, but what was he suppose to say about a random dog. He regained himself, testing the waters. “He looked quite cute didn’t he?”

Your cries slowed a little, only a little, before they became worse then before. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. “Such a cute face that’s going to meet its doom, he’s probably going to die in a few years!”

He tried to calm you down with physical comfort instead of verbal. He brought his hand to lay flat against your red cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the constant fall of tears. This didn’t even work though, because you shoved his hand away and covered your face with your own hands. It’s never been this bad, or this long before. You’d usually go back to your normal self after he passed a few words of reassurance or held you close. He didn’t know what to do, but he did what he did best; communication.

“Look, honey, I’m not sure how to help you here. What would make you feel better? Tell me, please, and I’ll do it, anything.” He expressed his feelings forwardly, allowing you time to digest his words. His pointer finger begun to curl with the ends of your hair, waiting for your response.

You mumbled something out against the hands that covered your face, he couldn’t quite understand you. “Say it again, louder this time please, for me?”

“I said ‘a bag of sweet chilli heat Doritos’ would be nice.” You removed your hands this time, ensuring he would hear you.

“Thank you for telling me,” He lifted you gently off of him and placed you back down on the couch as he stood. “I’m going to the convenience store on the corner, I’ll be back soon.” He left you with a small peck on your forehead.

When he returned home to you, he had two white plastic bags with him. “I got you the chips, and I few other things you like.”

After you had your fill of the treats he had brought, you were back to your normal self like nothing ever happened. But this would happen plenty of more times during the 8 months you had left to go, but Nanami didn’t care much. As long as you were happy, and your baby healthy, he was content in life.

✪ Toji Fushiguro

— Toji has been busy with work lately, a particularly hard case was passed onto him to take care of. But now that was all over, he successfully captured the target and handed them off to whichever client has hired him.

He sent a text your way, informing you that he had finished early and was going to be home sooner then expected, which excited you. Your hand subconsciously went to rest on your baby bump, rubbing soothing circles on it. You found that you did this when you were feeling intense emotions, either that being when you were stressed or you were happy, like in this situation.

You decided that you were going to make a proper dinner upon Tojis arrival. That’s the least he deserved after working so hard, and besides, being able to sit down and eat with him would be romantic for both of you after all this time apart.

“M’home.” He mumbled out, kicking off his black shoes and discarding his bag at the entrance. His face shifted slightly when he entered the dinning area, only you could tell though, only you could read him.

“Welcome home,” You skipped up to him, draping your arms around his big shoulders. You pressed a wet kiss to his cheek, then his nose and then his scar. Lastly placing one onto his lips, his own pair of lips chased after yours when you parted from him. “I made your favourite for dinner.”

“Oh ya?” A smirk tugged at his mouth, his hand slipped down so low on your waist, boarder line groping your ass.

“Mhm,” You nodded in response, taking his hand to lead him to the table you set up. There were two plates laid out, filled with food. “Sit down, let’s eat.”

The night consisted of laughs and deep conversations, you could finally talk about what you have missed from each others lives. You picked up your fork, planning to stab into another piece of a side dish you had made, but you were met with nothing. You frowned, that was the one you looked forward to the most while cooking.

Toji picked up on this, he watched as you started mindlessly playing with whatever was left on your plate. Letting the moment play out for awhile, he smiled down at you.

You’ve had enough, standing up and walking to where your boyfriend sat. You kicked the chair leg, telepathically telling him to push back from the table. He listened, leaving enough room for you to squeeze your way onto his lap. Toji accepted the situation, placing his hands on your hips gently, letting you do your thing.

“What’s up?” He hummed in a teasing voice, anything he said came out in a teasing way really. You took his fork, using it to eat what you had wanted to earlier from your own.

“Your sons hungry,” You said before taking another bite. “And he really seems to like this.”

He only nodded his head, letting out a quiet groan as he rubbed up and down the sides of your body.

✪ Choso Kamo

— Choso has always been an obedient boyfriend, doing anything you asked of him with no complaint. This time you might’ve crossed a line though, tonight you asked him to spoon feed you the vanilla yogurt he had just got back from buying you. This just might be the most outrageous task you’ve ever thrown his way, but he agreed to it still, that’s just how much he loved you.

“Can you really not do this yourself?” He asked you as he sat in front of you, lining himself up so he could perform what you wanted to be done.

“I could, technically speaking. But I much rather my handsome boyfriend do it for me.” You passed him the spoon and opened yogurt container.

“Hmm,” he hummed out quietly, taking the two objects you happily gave him. “I still don’t understand why you would ever possibly want this, though.”

“Because it’s romantic, Choso,” You educated your the man. “It’s like you’re feeding our baby yourself.” You giggled, this was a joke of course, I mean the logic behind your words made no sense. But this awakened something in Choso, he felt sparks forming in his heart. He never thought of it in that way, but he sure was now. And he liked that idea.

He quickly scooped up a chunk of the white substance, bringing it to your lips. You smiled at his knew found sense of enthusiasm, opening your mouth to welcome the silverware. You shut your mouth closed, swallowing the yogurt and letting out a satisfied hum.

“Wasn’t that nice? Very intimate I’d say—”

Your boyfriend didn’t respond, only forming another spoonful for you to eat. You smiled as you watched him, to think he was considering saying no to this, now he was enjoying it so much.

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dreamescapeswriting · 5 months

Text

Nothing To Prove ~ LF

WORD COUNT:3.4K

GENRE: idol au, reading pushing herself too much, angst with a soft ending, mentions of hate, rude comments toward reading being a little older than felix,

PAIRING: Felix Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Your life had become a revolving door of some sort, no matter what you just kept spinning and spinning around in the same thing over and over again. Every day started and ended the same way, it was as if you were a sim and someone was playing the most boring game that they could think of with you. And you loved your idol life, you loved that you were getting to do what you loved for a living but when your days were blurring together as one big mess and you were constantly doing the same thing it was getting exhausting.

Sighing to yourself you rolled over in your bed, picking up your phone and looking at the comments of your latest TikTok video you'd done. It was one with your boyfriend - Felix - and it was safe to say it was blowing up online but you weren't even bothered by that. You instantly went to the comments, as you did every time you and Felix filmed a video together. As usual, you looked through the comments and ignored the positives only seeing the negatives that were displayed for you.

It was like they were the only ones that stood out to you as if someone had highlighted them for you to see specifically and beat yourself up over them again and again.

User9800078: Why does she think she's better than all of us just because she gets to film with him?

Chanslefttoenail: I think she's using him for views, maybe they're only dating so she can get popular. Let's face it, she can't dance or sing.

JumboMeatyboy: She sucks. Why does JYPE even have her?!

YourmumsSkzoo: Isn't she too old for him? He's basically a baby and she's taking advantage of him.

None of them thought you were "too old" for him when they were shipping you together for the last year or so, the two of you had been together for two years and it was finally revealed a few months ago which had led to this whole ordeal with fans. Some of them accused you of using Felix while others were being downright mean about the age gap between you, despite it not even being that high of a gap. You knew people in worse age-gap relationships than you two yet none of that seemed to register anymore, you only seemed to agree with the haters and beat yourself up about everything. Somewhere along the lines, you'd decided that you were going to prove them all wrong, pushing yourself more and more every day to try and be better so they'd have something else to talk about. Trying to be a better girlfriend to Felix, playing the part of a dotting girlfriend and doing everything you could to gain their approval.

You figured if you trained harder and did more lives they'd realise how much you were trying, how important that this was to you and that you weren't using Felix in the slightest. So you took in a deep breath, shoved your phone into your pocket and made your way through your dorm to go and make some food for Felix.

It had become a slight routine for you now, every morning you'd get up and make some food for Felix and bring it to him at work, that was something good girlfriends did, right? You missed him a lot and making him food every day made you feel closer to him even when you couldn't be together. The two of you were dating but that didn't mean you got to live together like most couples, you were still an up-and-coming artist at JYP which meant you had to work triple the amount of Felix but you still wanted to see him and bring him things to make his day better.

"She looks like she'll give up at any minute, she's too old to do any of this now. Who even wanted her to be an idol?!"

"I heard she's with Felix to gain popularity, as soon as her second album drops I bet they break up. She's basically using him for views because she'll never get them on her own."

Words of people floated around in your head as you walked the halls of the JYP building toward your studio, it was dead when it was this early in the morning. Not many people wanted to come to work at 5 am but it wasn't as if you had much of a choice, you'd made yourself a schedule and you were sticking to it.

"Yn? You okay?" You jumped a little in surprise, snapping out of your daydream when you heard someone shouting your name, a hand touching your shoulder softly as you turned to see Chan smiling down at you.

Besides Felix, Chan had been one of the first people you'd made friends with when you joined JYP and you were quite close with one another in the sense that he was like a brother to you.

"I've been shouting your name for a while, I thought we could walk together..." Chan eyed you up as he stood by your side, you'd been acting off for a few weeks now and it was beginning to worry him and Felix.

"Sorry, I'm a million miles away," You laughed softly trying to play off the fact you hadn't heard him, you'd been so in your head and tired that you'd blanked everything out but Chan saw straight through it. He recognised the look you had on your face, the dullness in your eyes and he knew you'd barely slept and were overthinking something.

He was the leader of seven boys, and he knew that look better than anyone else you'd probably been reading too much of your comments section,

"Weren't you in rather late last night? Your manager should have given you the morning off." After extensive meetings with a few higher-ups Chan and a group of idols had managed to get it into the board members' heads that regular breaks were great instead of overworking their workers. The two of you began to walk down the hallway together and you prayed you could hold off this conversation before disappearing,

"I could say the same for you." You teased, trying to push off the conversation piece and get on with your day but Chan was like a dog with a bone. He could tell there was something biting away at you and he wasn't going to stop until he got to the bottom of it.

"I can't sleep, what's your excuse?" He stopped at your door and you opened it with your pin, reaching into your bag and getting out your schedule for the day that you'd made yourself checking to make sure you were on time for what you had planned.

"I have a comeback to prepare for. I'm not good enough yet," You told him before going into the room and locking it so that he could no longer pester you.

You knew Chan was only looking out for you but right now you didn't need that, you needed to practice, practice practice if you were ever going to make this comeback worthy of people's time.

She can't dance, she can't sing. She's basically there as a token girl so JYP could be the first to have an up-and-coming star from abroad.

The words grew louder as you dropped your bag in the corner of the room and made your way over to the computer. There was going to be one way to drown them out and that was by blasting your song through the giant speakers on the wall and dancing your way out of your own head.

Chan stood on the opposite side of the door until he heard your song playing and he shook his head, he needed to let Felix know what was going on with you.

"Hey! I missed you this morning," Felix whined as you walked over to the canteen table where he was sitting, you smiled warmly at him and swallowed the lump that was in your throat. You needed to try and play it off as normal, you were supposed to have breakfast at 7 am in the canteen with him but you'd been doing vocal practice on your own and you'd run over on your time.

"Sorry, I had extra practice this morning and then some vocal training." It was a blatant lie, all of your training had finished two weeks ago but you were still in your studio every single day trying to hit the notes perfectly so that no one had a bad thing to say about you.

"It's okay, tonight we can go out for food. Hyunjin found a really nice cafe-" Felix tried to talk but you were quick to cut him off with another excuse.

"I can't tonight, I promised to do a live stream," It was true, you'd put on Twitter that you'd be doing a dancing stream and people seemed excited about it. Felix eyed you up and looked over at Minho who could see straight through you as well, it was obvious that you were overworking yourself and after his talk with Chan that morning he was getting more and more worried.

For weeks now he'd been trying to get you to relax with him, taking you out more and offering you to stay at the dorms but you were shooting down all of his ideas and leaving him in the dark on it this time he wasn't going to let you off on it.

"You've been dancing all morning though, maybe you need to have a break." He reached his hand out and rubbed your arm softly but you stepped away from his touch, shrugging him off and shaking your head.

You were sick and tired of people telling you what you needed to do and not do when all you wanted was to get this routine done and perfect.

"I didn't come here to be told what to do." You snapped out, earning a stare from Minho who seemed shocked to hear you snap. It wasn't like you at all, you rarely got angry at anyone even when Seungmin stole your last slice of birthday cake.

"Yn, he's just looking out for you." Minho tried to defend Felxi who was still staring at you completely taken aback by the way you'd angrily spoken to him.

"I don't need anyone looking out for me, I'm fine." You bit out, dropping the lunch box onto the table in a huff, shaking your head as you turned to leave the table.

"Babe! You need to have lunch!" Felix called out, not caring about the way people were staring in his direction, all of them witnessing the small "fight" the two of you just had.

"I'll eat in the studio. I'll see you tomorrow." You shot him down by walking away and Felix sighed, how was he supposed to get you to relax when you were shutting him out every chance you got.

"What did she make for you?" Minho nodded at the lunch box and Felix sighed shaking his head, he hated that you weren't feeding yourself and instead choosing to go out of your way to feed him. He lifted the lid open and froze in place,

"I think we need to talk to someone about her..." He admitted, turning the box to face Minho as four slices of bread lay in the box with nothing else on them. Clearly, you'd been too tired to even realise what you were doing while making the food for him,

"One last one and I think we'll call it a day," You breathed out heavily with a laugh as you looked into the phone camera that was aimed at you. You'd been dancing for the last two hours live and your fans were loving every second of it, though, of course, you'd been more focused on the hate comments that claimed you weren't working hard enough on the dances.

"Which do you guys want to see?" Your eyes went across the comments as you read them through as if you were some kind of circus monkeys for them to poke and do whatever they wanted you to.

"Catch me by WJSN." You whispered before finding the song on your phone and getting the song ready, you'd done the choreography before and the lift was easy enough for you to do that you felt pretty confident. It had been your audition song so it was no wonder people were excited to see you performing it again for them.

As the song played you focused on dancing but comments you'd seen were playing over and over in your head.

She dancing to other groups so we'll spread them around and get more views.

Anything for attention

Is she wearing a skirt for more clicks from guys? What a slut.

You heard the crack before you felt it and you hit the floor with a thud, your whole head spinning as you stared up at the ceiling, you'd been about to do the flip was all you remembered as you lay there. A low pounding in your head as you whimpered a little, completely forgetting the camera that was trained on you. Shakey breaths left your throat as you lay there completely still, scared to move as the world around you began to grow quieter. The words inside of your head finally dull down and drown away as you just let yourself relax for the first time in weeks.

"Yn!?" The door crashed open, the hinges flying somewhere in the room as Felix rushed over to you. He'd been watching the Live from his studio with the boys when they saw it all happen. They'd been trying to get the door open for two minutes now, all while keeping an eye on you through the live to make sure you hadn't passed out yet,

"I'll cut the live." Minho called out as he ran for your phone, the live cutting as you shook your head, sitting up. Everything came crashing back to you as you realised what you were supposed to be doing, there was no time to sit on the floor and rest when you had something to prove to everyone.

"N-No! No, I need to keep going," You yelled out, attempting to move but Felix had his hands on your shoulders refusing to let you go, staring at you as he shook his head. It was as if you didn't even feel your leg pain which worried him more as he waited for Changbin and Seungmin to come back with the first aiders on sight, Chan was already calling an ambulance.

"Your leg is broken, you're not moving and you might even have a concussion," Felix couldn't help the shake in his voice as he let out a worried whimper, he should have come to get you after lunch and refused to let you do anything else for the rest of the day.

"I need to keep going, they need to see I can do this, that I'm good at what I do." You whispered, your head starting to spin as you held onto Felix trying to steady yourself a little.

"Yn, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone." He whispered as you stared back at him, at least the one that you thought was him since there were three of him staring back at you right now.

"I'm...I'm tired," You finally admitted, your eyes getting far too heavy for you to keep open anymore,

"Don't. Don't sleep. Baby, you need to stay awake until the paramedics get here," Felix's voice was getting further and further away as your eyes shut and you could no longer hear anything going on around you.

Beeping. That was all you heard as you let out a low grunt rolling over in search of your phone but you couldn't find it, your eyes slowly peeled open to see that you weren't even in your bedroom.

"Don't move, I'll call for the nurse." A voice spoke from the left of your bed, you slowly turned over with a whimper and stared at Felix who looked worried sick and you took in the appearance of the room.

"What happened?" You slowly sat up in the bed, hissing as you felt something sharp in your arm and you stared down at the IV that was pumping fluids into you.

"You broke your leg and not to mention you've been working yourself to the point of exhaustion," Felix whined, moving closer to the bed and holding your hand in his, you stared down at your leg that was in a cast. Worries began to fill your mind as you wondered how you were going to do your comeback with a cast attached to your leg. You still had parts to film for your music video and there was no way you could dance with your cast like this.

"How am I going to perform? My comeback is in less than a month." Felix knew you were going to react like this which was why he'd already made sure you weren't going to worry about work for a while.

"They've postponed it, given the circumstances-" He tried to speak but your head shot around to him and you shook your head,

"No...No, Felix, I have to do-" Felix smirked as he cut you off this time,

"You're doing nothing but rest." He ordered, his authoritative tone taking you back a little as you stared at him.

"You've taken time off and so have I, we're not going to do anything until you're rested up." He smiled weakly as he noticed you pouting a little.

"Easy for you to say when you're already great at what you do." You mumbled it under your breath but Felix caught it and got into the bed beside you, squeezing your hands a little.

"So are you, Yn you're fantastic at everything you do...Whoever said you did is wrong and jealous." You sniffled a little looking at him,

"I saw your comment section, you're banned from looking at them now," He told you as he snuggled closer to you, your head coming to rest on his shoulder as you cuddled into him.

"Lix...They hate me,"

"They don't hate you, they're jealous that you get to do what they want." He hated that you'd been dealing with this all alone, he should have known that you were looking at the hate it was something he used to do a lot too.

"I-" The tears you'd been holding back finally let go and it was like someone had set the dam free and you couldn't stop sobbing into his shoulder.

"I've got you. No one is ever going to hurt you while I'm here," He rubbed your back softly letting you let everything out that you'd been holding back.

After a lot of convincing Felix had gotten you to stay at the dorms with him on your break and it had made the world of difference to you. You seemed much happier after resting for the last two months, as much as you hated having to postpone your comeback people had seemed understanding about it from what you'd been allowed to see.

Your comment sections were monitored a lot closer by your team and you weren't allowed to look at it a lot or for too long.

"You're back next week, are you getting excited?" Felix chuckled as you danced around the dorm, you'd gotten your cast off last week but you still had a little time off.

"I am, but I'm going to miss hanging out with you all the time." You pouted before plopping yourself down on the sofa beside him and cuddling into him,

"But we'll make time for each other, remember the plan?" The plan he was referring to was that the two of you were taking two days out of the week to spend time alone doing absolutely nothing, or going out to dinner. But you were making time for one another and that was the most important part to all of this.

"I do, we should go and try that seaweed soup place. We can take innie," You whispered as the two of you began to plan what you were both going to do for the rest of your time off. You felt unstoppable with him by your side now.

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cevansbrat0007 · 1 month

Text

The Do-Over

Summary: Everyone deserves a second chance, including jerks like Bounty Hunter, Ari Levinson. Takes place directly after the events in Hello, Duchess.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Bucky Barnes, A Deep Love of Clark Bars, Light Groveling, Bickering, Discussions of Grief, Threats of Violence, Gentle Manhandling, Brief References to Negative Body Image, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Special thanks to my creative consultant, @curls-and-eyeliner. Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

An annoyed Ari takes a pull from his cigarette as he listens to his friend and fellow combat vet give him shit all the way from his office back in New Mexico. As soon as this was over, he was going to ditch this empty parking lot to find himself an ice cold beer and a goddamned steak.

He was officially ready to put this day behind him. But first he needed a decent dinner.

“So let me see if I’ve got this right.” His friend begins, now that he’d finally stopped cursing up a blue streak. “Do you really mean to tell me that you took our best lead, which just so happened to be the perp’s girlfriend, and fucked it all to hell?”

Okay, but just because that’s what happened doesn't necessarily mean that it was actually his fault. He’d just been a little off his game.

“Hey Buck, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re beginning to sound as dramatic as Rogers.”

“Steve would never fuck-up something this big for us.” He could practically hear the man flipping him off.

“I’m telling you this girl would’ve cut off Golden Boy’s balls and fed them to him for breakfast, okay?” He takes another puff, flicking some of the excess ash out his driver-side window. “Trust me.”

“Hold on.” An exasperated Bucky sighs into the receiver before placing the phone on his desk to speak to whoever had just walked into his office. He hoped whoever it was had better news than he did, otherwise he feared his old war buddy might have an aneurysm.

Sometimes he got the impression that Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes was wound a little too tight.

The silence drags on as Ari contemplates getting out of his car to stretch his legs. It’s another several minutes before Bucky is back on the line, and this time he sounds positively exhausted.

“We can’t afford to lose this one, man. Westbrook might be a piece of shit, but he’s an expensive piece of shit. So while I don’t care how you feel about the girl, you need to make things right. She could have some valuable intel.”

“Yeah, I know.” His mood darkens as he flicks the cigarette onto the pavement. As he watches it hit the ground, he finds himself wondering if it was finally time to quit the cancer sticks altogether. It’s not like he hadn’t thought about it before.

“Besides, what do you care if she was Westbrook’s fuck buddy?” Ari’s treated to the sound of his friend unwrapping something that sounded suspiciously like a candy bar. There was only one person who was known to keep that stuff at the office.

Which meant that shit had better not come from his personal stash, otherwise Bucky Barnes was a fucking dead man.

“I don’t.” Ari growls, sucking on his teeth. “And that had better not be a Clark Bar you’re eatin'.”

“Hate to break it to ya, pal. But based on what you told me earlier, it kinda sounds like you might.” There’s an unmistakable sound of a grin in his voice, which irks the bounty hunter to no end.

“And I think it’s finally time you got your hearing checked, old man.” He growls back, although his words lack any real fire.

“As for your precious Clark Bars,” he continues. “See, normally I’d pass on ‘em. But Pixie’s been on a health kick lately and she threw out all the junk food. So, I’m desperate.” Bucky gives an exaggerated groan. “Plus, she has no idea about your stash.”

“Jesus.” Ari grumbles, firing up his engine with the intent to head back to the house he was currently renting. “I really wish you two would just suck face already and get it over with.”

“Mind your fucking business, Levinson.”

“Then keep your filthy hands off my fuckin’ Clark Bars, Barnes.” There’s a heavy sigh on the other line, prompting Ari to roll his eyes. All he wanted was for this conversation to fucking end.

“Look.” Bucky grunts. “You bring down this Westbrook fucker and I’ll buy you a goddamned case of those stupid bars. Alright?”

“You got yourself a deal.” Turning on his truck, Ari slowly heads for the exit as his stomach begins to rumble. Maybe he’d track down some shrimp to go with that steak.

“And fix whatever it is you fucked up with that bookstore broad while you’re at it.”

“I’ll do my best.” He grimaces as his mind treats him to images of you threatening him with your taser. “But if that little spitfire puts me in the hospital you’re footin’ the bill.” And with that, Ari hangs up the phone.

As of now, he was officially done for the night.

A Few Days Later…

You’re sitting on the floor of your stockroom when you hear the tinkling of bells signaling the arrival of a customer. Groaning as you rise to your feet, you wipe your palms on the fabric of your pants and head to the front of the store.

Business had been unusually slow today, so hopefully this patron - whoever they were - would be in the mood to buy something. As you were driving in this morning, you’d briefly considered holding another sale. Maybe it was time for another book fair. That seemed to be pretty popular the last time you’d done it.

You’re in the middle of making a mental note to reach out to the local librarian when your eyes land on the absolute last person you wanted to see standing in your lobby: Ari Levinson.

Not this guy again.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He says, offering up an unapologetic shrug as he takes in the sight of you in your form-fitting yoga pants.

Apparently you’d spoken out loud. Perhaps if you kept doing it, the man would eventually get offended enough to leave. Wishful thinking at its finest.

When the intruder realizes you don’t plan on speaking again, he decides to take advantage of the silence by doing something completely unexpected.

“I just dropped by to, uh…” He takes a deep breath, rocking back on his heels. “Apologize for how our last meeting went. While it wasn’t my intention to insult you, I know that I did.” One big hand comes up to massage the back of his neck. “Just wanted to offer that, for whatever it’s worth.”

“Oh. Wow.” You reply dumbly, crossing your arms over your chest. For whatever reason, you got the distinct impression that he didn’t make apologies often.

“You’re right, sweetheart. I don’t.” His lips turn up in an awkward grin as he takes a step toward you. “But a real man knows how to own up to his shit, which is exactly what I’m doin right now.”

“Okay.”

Mouth suddenly dry, you go to take a step back, only to find that your legs no longer work. Next thing you know, Ari is in your space, his boot clad feet are now mere centimeters from your well-loved sneakers as he towers over you.

He holds out his hand as a gesture of goodwill, silently imploring you to take it. Your eyes lock with his as yours moves on its own accord – almost as if you’d been entranced.

Your hand feels so small and delicate in his grasp. And for a second, you wonder what it might be like to lace your fingers together. How it would feel to hold onto him so intimately for just a few seconds longer. You sneak a glance up at Ari, only to watch as his pupils dilate, his nostrils flaring just slightly. It’s enough to let you know that you’re not the only one affected.

“You think we might be able to try this again?” His deep baritone washes over you like a balm. “You have my word I’ll do a much better job of, uh, keeping myself in check.”

Yanking your hand away, all you can do is nod. Part of you almost wished the man would go back to acting like an asshole. At least then you would know how to handle him. This so-called charming and apologetic Ari was a different beast entirely.

“I–” You swallow thickly. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Thank you for your kindness.” His easy smile has the nerve to do funny things to the butterflies in your belly. “And while I would hate to do anything that might spoil this good will, I would like to ask you a couple of questions right now.”

Instantly suspicious, you open your mouth to deliver a curt “no”. However, having already anticipated this, Ari is quick to amend his request by promising not to be too invasive. He also insists that he’ll follow your lead.

“If at any moment you want to stop, we’ll stop. You have my word on that too, darlin’.” He surveys the room, absentmindedly scratching at his jaw. “You good with me ensuring we have a little privacy?” Again you nod, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Because at this point, it just didn’t make sense to kick the man out. Especially not when he seemed to be taking great pains to be respectful. You could only hope that he’d appreciate your cooperation enough to go bother someone else when you were through.

Maybe it might be worth leading him back towards someone who’d actually appreciate his attention. Someone like your would-be frenemy, Charline Marshall.

Seemingly encouraged by your response, the invasive bounty hunter hustles towards the door so that he could flip your sign from open to closed. And, unbeknownst to him, it also gives you a chance to begrudgingly appreciate just how good his ass looks in his Levi’s.

Alright. So maybe you’d hold off on feeding Ari Levinson to Charline and her disciples – at least for right now.

“You know.” You cough, needing to give yourself a moment to recalibrate before you said or did something dumb. “I actually just remembered that I needed to fix a couple of things around the shop during my lunch break.”

An unruffled Ari simply smiles and winks back at you. “Thought you said you believed in your ability to multitask?”

You resist the urge to stick your tongue out at the smug bastard. Because he was right. You absolutely had said that. And then he’d had the gall to fucking listen.

“Fine.” Shooting him a glare, you head over to the counter and toe-off your shoes.

“Appreciate it, darlin’.”

Just like last time, out comes his pen and tiny notebook. He flips it open to a new page before giving you his full attention. Meanwhile, you’re now hellbent on acting like he doesn’t exist.

“How long have you owned your shop, Baubles & Quills?”

If you were to look in his eyes at that moment, you would’ve seen them shining with genuine inquisitiveness. Almost as if he actually wanted to get to know you.

“A few years.” You reply, bracing your hands on the flat surface of the desk. “I spent a large part of my childhood here, buried amongst books. My uncle left it to me when he passed. But I’m sure you already knew that.”

Taking a deep breath, you send up a silent prayer to the Lord asking him not to let you fall before hefting yourself onto the counter with all the grace you can muster.

“Maybe.” Ari concedes while jotting something down on his notepad. “But it’s different coming from – just what the hell are you doin’ woman?!”

“Checking out this light fixture.” You huff as you work to steady yourself.

“Any reason you couldn’t do that from the ground?” The bounty hunter surprises you by sounding more than a little stressed.

Confused by his response, you manage to spare a quick glance in his direction. Although your unlikely companion looks less than happy, you fail to fully grasp the nature of the problem.

“Because I couldn’t quite tell if this whole panel was out, or just the one little section.”

“Alright, well…” He drags an agitated hand through his already messy brown locks. “Now that you’ve seen it, how about you come on down from there?”

“Oh my goodness, Levinson.” An exasperated chuckle bubbles its way from your throat. “It’s just the counter. Save the freakout for when you find me on the flippin’ roof or something.”

“You’re standin’ on the damned thing wearin’ nothing but socks. It’s like you’re askin’ to fall.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”

“How the hell is my expressin’ concern about your safety bein’ dramatic?”

“Next question, buddy.” You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing at the affronted look on the bounty hunter’s gorgeous face.

Ari forces himself to take a breath before attempting to return back to the task at hand. “I have it here that your Uncle is the late Lenny Barstowe. He was, by all accounts, an upstanding pillar of this community.”

“He was.” You agree, bending down to grab the duster resting near your feet.

“You say he was your uncle, and yet you two don’t share the same last name.” He frowns when he notices your slight wobble.

And for the tenth time in almost as many minutes he finds himself wondering why the fuck you didn’t hire someone to take care of shit like this for you? Hell, give him a ladder and a free afternoon and he’d handle things himself.

“Wow. Nothing gets past you.” You sniff, trying to fight back a sneeze as dust goes flying. “They teach you those observation skills in private detective school?”

“Sure did.” Ari snorts without missing a beat, tucking the pen behind his ear. “First thing on the syllabus, in fact.”

“Thought so.”

“So glad we cleared that up.”

You can’t stop the small thrill that courses through you when you notice the newfound tick in his jaw. If you weren’t careful, you could find yourself growing addicted to that little zing in your blood. To that tiny spike in your pulse you felt every time you two sparred.

“But if we could go back to your uncle, I’m sure losing him had to be hard – what with him being your only family.” He takes a turn fanning himself with his notebook. ”Was your friend, Martin, there for you during that difficult time?”

That particular question actually makes you pause and reflect. You’d been so lost in grief back then, which is part of the reason it had taken you so long to claw your way out of that dark hole. And, if memory served, you’d done that majority of that clawing on your own.

“I’m sure he was around, Mr. Levinson.” Your answer sounds cagey, even to your own ears. “But I pretty much wore my grief like a sweater back then. And if I’m being honest, those first few months after losing him were nothing but a miserable haze.”

“I know the feeling.” He murmurs as he scribbles on the page.

“Look.” You blow out a breath as you attempt to gauge the distance between the desk and the ground. As of this moment, you officially regretted not grabbing your step stool. “I don’t know where Martin is or who he’s running from. All I know is that he was scared, but he refused to tell me anything more, okay?”

“Did he ask you for money?”

“Yes.”

He’d also called you too. And while you choose to keep that little detail to yourself, you figure there was no harm in telling him about the money. At the time you’d had no idea you were potentially aiding and abetting a criminal. Or maybe you just hadn’t wanted to believe it.

“And did you give it to him?” The intense look in his beautiful blue eyes has you suddenly feeling foolish.

“Yes.”

It’s that one word, spoken barely above a whisper, that leaves Ari shaking his head. His gaze drops to the ground as he works to rein-in his temper. You have no idea what a struggle it is for him to do so – because he’s not upset with you.

If anything, you’d just given him one more reason to run that slippery motherfucker into the goddamned ground.

“How much did he get you for?” Even though Ari has calmed himself considerably, his tone still comes off harsher than he intends.

“Almost $500.” You tell him, your face hot with embarrassment. “I suppose I should’ve asked more questions. You probably think I’m an idiot for –”

“It’s okay, darlin’.” He swiftly interjects, not wanting you to get upset. “You’re doin’ so great bein’ honest with me right now.” Unsure of what else to do, he tosses his notebook aside in favor of reaching for your hand. “I know this shit ain’t easy.”

“I think I’m done for now.” You tell him, doing your best to avoid looking at your now joined hands. God, he really needed to stop doing that. “Please.”

“Okay.” He readily agrees as his thumb strokes along the ridge of your knuckles. “Then we’re done.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. “Are you gonna let me help you down off the counter before you kick me out?”

“It’s okay. Don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You mumble as you busy yourself with trying to figure out the easiest way to sit and scootch your way out of your current situation.

The last thing you needed was this man accidentally throwing out his back over some misplaced chivalry.

To his credit, Ari decides to ignore your feeble protests. “C’mon and let me help you.” He repeats, gesturing for you to step towards the edge of the counter so that he can grab you by the waist. “And then I’ll be on my way.”

“Really, I’m fine.” You attempt to swat at his hands, which doesn’t actually work.

“C’mon, darlin’.” He assures you gently. “Just trust me.” The next thing you know, you’re suddenly being lifted into the air. “I got you.”

“Ack – I’m too heavy!” You squeal, immediately caught off guard by the way your legs briefly dangle in the air. Try as you might, you honestly could not remember the last time a man had picked you up.

Your heart speeds up as he effortlessly sets you down on your feet, allowing your body to slide down the solid wall of his chest. Instinctively, your hands fly to his biceps in an effort to steady yourself.

“Thank you.” You’re suddenly having a hard time breathing around this man. “But you really shouldn’t have done that. You could’ve hurt –”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t nothin’ but a feather.” Ari rumbles, his hands still resting firmly on your hips.

“Somehow I doubt that.” You whisper, knowing that you should demand that he let you go. Except your body is too busy buzzing to actually cooperate.

“Happy to prove you wrong any time.” While you suspect that he hadn’t really meant to say that, his smile is full of promise. “But right now, I’m afraid I’ve gotta head out.” Although it still takes another second for him to release you.

Not that you’re complaining any. Which deep down you know could spell trouble for you.

Before he leaves, however, Ari reaches into the front pocket of his jeans to hand you what looks a lot like a business card. “What’s this?” You mentally smack yourself in the forehead the moment the question leaves your mouth.

“My card.” He responds as he now heads toward the door. “That’s my cell, just in case you need it.”

“Oh.”

“Call any time, day or night.” Ari’s gruff, no-nonsense tone goes straight to your core. “You remember somethin’ about Martin? Call me. You lookin’ for someone to stand guard while you lock up at night? Call me. You need to hear a friendly voice in the dark? Fucking call me.”

His offer takes you by surprise. So much so, that you’re temporarily rendered speechless as you clutch the stiff piece of paper in your palm. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever take him up on his offer, you could certainly appreciate his generosity.

“Thank you.” You rasp, your teeth going to nibble at your bottom lip.

“Any time, Duchess.” His head dips politely as he exits through the front door. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

And just like that he was gone, which meant you could finally breathe normally again. Strange butterflies once again fill your belly as you take your time examining the card your bounty hunter had left behind. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever call him, you decide it’s worth tucking into a zippered pocket in your purse before getting on with the rest of your day.

Little did you know that you would come to need that tiny piece of paper sooner rather than later…

END

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writtenbymoonflower · 5 months

Text

Unpretty

You are insecure and Peter is oblivious. tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader

cw: reader had very negative thoughts about body image. mentions of weight and general body image issues. i tried to keep it as neutral as possible so everybody could read and relate, so it can be read as plus!size reader or not.

1.5k words

The position you were in wasn’t unnecessarily uncomfortable. The physical part felt really nice, actually. Peter was laid on his side, nose nuzzled into your hair while you were in his arms flat on your back. His even breathing was soothing and you felt close and warm.

Emotionally, however, you felt confused.

You had to resist cringing every time you remembered that Peter’s large hand was spread over the bottom of your tummy, likely feeling everything “wrong” about it. He could definitely feel it wasn’t as flat or firm as you would like it to be, even through your thick crewneck. And even though you logically knew it was impossible, you felt the stinging insecurity all over your body, like he was touching you everywhere you hated. Your brain was telling you that through feeling the soft part of your stomach, he could also feel and see where your thighs were too big, where stretchmarks were painted all over your body, and where your skin wasn’t completely smooth.

He probably would hate my body as much as I do if he could see. The little voice in your head nagged.

Obviously, you knew that wasn’t true. You knew that everyone had little things that bothered them and yours weren’t even especially unusual. You also knew that voicing these thoughts to Peter would likely lead to you being even more self-conscious and him being confused. Or even worse, him pitying you. You were snapped out of your spiral by Peter’s shifting in position.

“What’re you thinking of, baby?” Peter whispered. To your horror, his hand started rubbing your stomach over your sweater. “I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” He laughed the way he does when trying to calm you down, like he doesn’t think it’s funny but it might be less intimidating if you believe he does. You turned your head to look at him. Being this close didn’t allow you to see his full face, but you could see one of his pretty brown eyes, looking at you with far too much love for your heart to handle.

“Not thinking of anythin’ really.” You kept your voice as even as possible and hoped he didn’t hear the nervous hitch in your breath as he reached under the hem of your sweatshirt to touch your skin. You panicked and tried to cover by grabbing his hand in yours and holding it between your ribs, right under your chest. He looked confused but still stroked your hand with his thumb.

“Yeah okay.” He was sarcastic and rolling his eyes but his voice was still light. He brought your joined hands up to kiss the veins on your wrist, closing his eyes and letting his lips linger for a good few seconds. All while still burning his eyes over your face, letting his pupils linger over a feature before jumping to the next, admiring your whole face with so much care you would cry.

“What?” You asked, growing shy under his intense stare.

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He was still smiling at you like a fool. “So so pretty.” He sing-songed. He urged you to lay on top of him with his arms, but you held fast in your place. Your boyfriend apparently took this as a challenge, because he showed off his real strength by pulling you fast onto his chest.

“Peter!” You said, scolding and nervous and flustered all at once.

“What?” He asked smugly, with a look of triumph on his face. You ducked your head out of his eyesight. “Baby, what’s up?” He asked again, more sincere. You still didn’t answer, your anxiety was roaring too loud in your head. You were probably crushing him under your weight. His hands were planted on your hips, likely feeling the extra fat and getting grossed out. He was just too nice to say anything. He was also too far close to your face for comfort, definitely seeing patches of oily skin or blemishes littering your face. It all became too much for you and you tried to roll off of him, but he gripped onto you harder.

“Peter, let me off.” You kept your voice light but you were panicking inside.

“Yeah, not happening.” He stayed stubborn as a mule.

“But I’m heavy, I’ll crush you.” You said desperately.

“Good.” He rebutted, still acting as if this was a casual conversation.

“Peter, I’m serious. I’m too heavy for this. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Your voice trailed off, getting quieter towards the end. The whole sentence was soaked in shame that Peter hadn’t yet picked up on. Now, there was a concerned crease between his eyebrows.

“Huh?” He looked genuinely confused. “What put that dumb idea in your head? ‘Too heavy’ for what, exactly?” He started as if he was about to rant, but cut it short. To your dismay, he pulled more of your weight onto him.

“It’s not dumb, it’s true. I’m just too heavy” You argued back. He couldn’t really be that oblivious. Anyone with eyes could see it.

“Oh I’m sorry,” He started sassing, like he actually wasn’t sorry at all. “I didn’t know that you now were the only deciding judge of something being ‘too much.’” He was being defiant on purpose.

“Peter, please.” All joking and argumentativeness had left your tone, just leaving shame and sadness. Peter softened at this and encouraged your head up to meet his eyes, holding your jaw firmly so you couldn’t look away. He looked like he was slowly putting pieces together in his head.

“Baby,” He started, still not breaking eye contact with you. “Is this why you’ve not been letting me touch you as much?” Peter looked so sad, it didn’t suit him at all and you wanted to make it better immediately. “Do you think there’s something wrong with you, that I would think there’s something wrong with you?” On the last sentence he was extra distressed, like he couldn’t believe the words were leaving his mouth.

“I just-” You were trying to articulate your feelings without making this any worse. “I mean, not every part of me is pretty, you know that.” You tried to say it casually but Peter’s expression didn’t lighten at all. Instead, his bottom lip jutted out and his eyes got wider, looking like a cartoonishly sad puppy who was denied a treat.

“I don’t know that, actually.” He moved his hand to the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair. “You don’t think you’re pretty?” He said the last part like his heart was cracking. And in Peter’s mind, it was. His baby was thinking badly of herself, and even worse, she was thinking he thought badly of her.

“I mean,” You cringed as the words left your mouth, wanting desperately for the conversation to end. “Not really. At least, there is a lot about me that could be a lot better.” Peter was at a loss for words. You had obviously mulled this over and were solid in your opinion.

“I don’t think there is. I think you are perfect. I love everything about you.” He said softly, his voice missing its usual teasing tone.

“But-” You started, but cut yourself off.

“But what?” Your argumentative boyfriend was back. “C’mon. Talk to me, baby.”

“I just-” You gathered your thoughts as best you could. He was really being difficult. There was no way he hadn’t noticed something. You also really did not want to say your insecurities out loud. It was too raw. But you knew Peter, and he wouldn’t back off without you giving something. “My stomach isn’t flat.” You said, as if that was enough argument for you being disgusting.

“Okay?” He actually laughed at this, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “And?”

You rolled your eyes, irritated. “And, in general I’m just too big. And my skin isn’t good either. It just doesn’t all add up very well does it?” You resisted the urge to cry, you didn’t want to add that on top of this already stressful discussion.

“Sweetheart,” He looked exasperated. “I think- I think you’re being really mean and unfair to yourself.” He searched for the right words. “Everyone has things about themselves they don’t like, yeah? But you should know, you are not too anything, and there is nothing about your looks or body that is ‘not good.’’ He said every word firmly. “And most importantly, there is nothing, absolutely nothing about your body that I dislike, or that you should worry about me seeing or touching, okay?” His voice was soft during the last few sentences, like he was speaking to a little kid with a scraped knee. It made it a lot harder to resist crying. “Okay?” he said, still looking directly into your eyes.

“Okay.” You said, watery. You swallowed hard and buried your face in his chest, feeling all too many emotions. “Thank you, Pete.” You didn’t think you could say anything else without falling apart.

“It’s okay. I'ts alright. It’s what I’m here for.” He stroked the back of your head, still being gentle. “Just do me a favor, yeah?”

“Mhm?” You muffled.

“Just, make my job easier for me next time. Tell me when you’re feeling like this, okay baby?” He pleaded as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

“Okay. I will.”

“Good. Now cuddle me please.” Demanding Peter was back. “And put all your weight on me, it’s no good otherwise.”

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