#i doubt the movie will get any darker than that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taintedcigs · 1 year

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YOU'RE NOT SCARED, ARE YA?

wc: 4.1k+

pairing: ghost face!eddie munson x final girl!reader

warnings: 18+ !!smut, smut smut!!, MINORS DNI!! absolutely no minors!! p in v, dom/sub elements, dark!dom!eddie, naive and innocent!reader, final girl!reader, mean!eddie, fingering, kinda manipulation, slight dubcon, this is kinda dark so if this kind of stuff bothers u DO NOT READ!!, minor character death, dom!eddie, squirting (??), sub!reader, heavy/graphic smut, knife kink kind of, very brief choking kink, kind of a breeding kink??, praising, degradation (name-calling etc), mean!soft!eddie JUST OVERALL FILTH MINORS DNI!!!

summary: you were happy to be a survivor and finally ready to get back to your life after ghost face was caught, but was he actually caught?

authors note: okay so i watched scream 6 yesterday and i had to i just had to write ghost face!eddie !! NOo SCREAM 6 SPOILERS DON'T WORRY OFC !! this is for u wyv OMG hope u like it i kinda have doubts abt it but oh well!! also hope u enjoyed scream 6 omg @sleepy-wyvern the reader is very forgiving and just gives in im sorry for that okay ill write another darker one maybe later pls send me ur ghost face!eddie requests and help me indulge in this fantasy omg xo, em <3 line divider creds to @attxnt

The breeze from the window had you chilling up before you could realize. Your head popping in the direction of the window as your eyebrows furrowed, you never noticed that you had left a window open.

With a sigh you get up to close it, as it's already freezing inside, a creak on the floors causes your head to pop up again, more confused than ever, you look around.

The TV is faintly playing in the background, screams of a woman in the horror movie you are watching is pitching your ears as you hurry to turn the TV off, wanting to see what the noise is about.

As soon as you turn the TV off, you hear another creak, the sound is now familiar to you in an eery way, you feel uneasy as you tiptoe around the living room, looking around to see what is causing the noise.

You shake your head at your paranoid thoughts, it's probably just the noises an old house makes.

Huffing, you make your way into the kitchen, re-opening the fridge for the hundredth time that day as you wait for a meal to magically appear.

Another windy noise behind you catches your attention, you swiftly turn around. Nothing.

Then the loud rang of the phone causes you to jump.

The phone ringing isn't easing your worries, you know the Ghostface murderer who has been roaming around town, killing a bunch of teenagers in Hawkins was caught, but still, it didn't give you comfort as you saw the face of Jason Carver who was being arrested, he looked innocent —as innocent as he could look for someone who was an awful person.

You shake your thoughts as you realize you are being paranoid, the Ghostface killer is caught, you need to calm down, you remind yourself.

"Hello?" You answer the phone calmly, hoping that it's Eddie, ready for him to ease your worries.

"Hello," The distorted voice speaks at the end of the line.

"Yes?" You ask, curiously now, wanting to know who the caller is. You shake off the feeling that the distorted voice reminds you of the ghost face killer, you don't want to believe it.

"Who is this?" The voice asks, and you furrow your brows.

"Who are you trying to reach?" Your voice comes out small, you're still uneasy from the creaking noises and what had happened in town before the killer was caught.

"I don't know." The distorted voice sounds careless.

"You have the wrong number." You answer, any sort of phone call still gives you anxiety. "I'm hanging up" You almost huff, annoyed that it's not Eddie, just some random guy.

"Wait, don't hang up." The voice is soft now

"Why?" You reply, your eyes narrowing.

"Because I think you need to hear this." The voice is mysterious.

"Hear what?" You ask, confused.

"They got the wrong guy." The voice is taunting, and the uneasy, chilling feeling from before is back.

"What? What the fuck are you talking about?" You ask, getting more uncomfortable, you look around, the paranoid feeling setting into your stomach once again.

You thought you had left the ghost face killer thing behind, happy that you survived.

"Jason Carver is innocent." The voice is more direct now, it sends shivers down your spine. "Well, he isn't innocent, but he sure isn't the ghostface killer." The voice chuckles.

"Who's this?" You ask, your voice getting shaky now.

“The question isn’t who am I, the question is, where am I?”

"Fuck you, asshole. This isn't funny." You spit, ready to hang up the phone.

"Oh, I'm sure you would beg me to."

"You know what-" Your words are quick to cut off as you are swayed by a mysterious figure, hooded hands cover your mouth as you attempt to scream and squirm.

"That's not going to do you any good, sweetheart." The distorted voice is enough to make you shaky again.

A scream dies out in your throat from the shock, you are left speechless and you feel almost paralyzed.

"Let me go." Your voice is muffled, tears are prickling your eyes.

"You want me to let you go?" The ghostface masked figure tilts its head to the side, you eye him curiously, nodding slowly.

"Don't you wanna know who I am?" The voice is taunting you again, and as much as you want to know, you don't want to give whoever it is the satisfaction.

"Let me go." Your voice is still muffled, a chuckle is heard from the other end.

"I think you know who I am, sweetheart." The voice is oh so familiar now, but you are still in denial as you shake your head.

"I- I don't." You manage to let out in your shocked state, the ghost masked figure chuckles, and the distorting voice is now going back to normal as you are finally hit with the realization.

The figure lets you go as he rips off the ghost face mask off his face, you first see the curls, those curls that you twirled your finger around as you laid in his bed, are now taunting you.

A grinning Eddie is revealed under the mask, you are now shaking as your face is contorted.

No words come out of your lips as you stare at him in shock, hoping for this to be his idea of a sick twisted joke.

"Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?" He is fully smirking, you are speechless, you can't believe that it was Eddie, your Eddie who had been behind the sick killings.

"Eds...?" Your words linger in the air, you feel small, so small.

"Yes, doll." The nickname should make you feel disgusted, you should feel disgusted. But you can't help but still be so enamored with him, you feel disgusted by yourself.

"What... why- How?" Your questions are spiraling, your eyes never leaving his, you want answers.

"It's... you?" You are dumbfounded, and the expression on Eddie's face is something you have never seen before.

"Yup." He's quick to let you know that he really is ghost face.

"I- I don't understand..." You are fighting your tears now, and Eddie walks closer to you to cup your face, still gentle, and you are too shocked to push him away, too comfortable with him that you let him.

"It's not that hard to understand, sweetheart." He chuckles almost, your eyebrows furrow. "Why?" You dare to ask, he clicks his tongue.

"It's simple really."

"You- you killed them, Eddie." Your voice is meek again, it's cracking as your tears freely escape your cheeks, he's quick to wipe them away. His other hand still holding onto the knife.

"Shhh, angel. There's no need to cry, they don't deserve your tears." He attempts to comfort you, but you squirm. "Don't be scared of me angel, 'm not gonna hurt you, I promise." He reassures, and you want to believe him, as much as you're scared, he's Eddie, your Eddie.

"Why- why did you kill them?" You manage to ask between your tears, Eddie's head tilts to the side.

"You're looking for a motive?" He asks. "How about the town "freak" is getting sick and tired of all those assholes calling him a "freak" and a "satanist", so he decides to finally show them how much of a freak he can be, how's that motive for you, hmm?" He taunts, the knife is still behind him, but you feel uneasy.

"Vicki, Tommy H., Carol, Tina..." You name every one of his victims, and it brings a smile to his face.

"I had to do it, sweetheart." His voice is calm and collected.

"Why... why..." You are still in shock.

"Oh, it's easy, sweetheart. Vicki, Carol and Tina were awful to you, d'you remember how they splashed you with their drinks, and laughed while you ran away sobbing, d'you remember that? Cause I never fucking forgot." His voice was harsh now, he was feeling the anger, the pain you had endured in their hands.

"Thought it was funny to humiliate my girl, make her feel bad, and they thought they could fucking get away with it? No chance." He hummed.

"Tommy H. was a fucking asshole, he got what was coming to him, no real loss there." He was talking about these people as if they were disposable, and you hated to admit he was right, you would probably never admit it out loud, but all of them were terrible people, destroying all the people they didn't deem to be "popular".

You look at him, still in shock, you don't know what to say, what to think, especially when Eddie is standing this close to you.

"And Jason?" You asked, your voice was less trembling now, what Eddie had done was horrible, but you didn't feel as scared anymore.

"Oh, he was easy to frame." He grinned. "I couldn't let him get away with fucking touching you at that party, princess." His hands were caressing your cheek now, and you gulped.

"I knew you tried to hide that from me, you knew how angry I would get, you didn't want me to get involved or hurt myself... Robin told me." His voice was more vulnerable now.

"But I'd do anything, fucking anything to protect you, princess. And I did. All of them, deserved what was fucking coming for them." His eyes squinted, you could feel the anger radiating off of him.

"S'all good, now. You have me, to protect you, princess." His hands drooped down from your cheeks, as they traveled across your body, you couldn't help but get chills all over where he touched, you felt disgusted with yourself that you were enjoying this, but you had waited so long, so long for him, and now he was actually giving you what you had waited so long for.

"Eds..." You get his attention.

"They tried to hurt what's mine, they tried to take my girl away from me." He murmured into your ear, his hot breath fanning against your face, and you can feel the smirk forming on his lips.

"But I've got you now, princess. No need to be afraid." His words were late to register in your head, the infamous ghost face killer was in front of you, his body is pressed against yours, and he was telling you all about his murders, and for some reason, you were still not screaming and running away.

"I- I can't." You squirmed, your eyes were getting teary again.

"C'mon, Y/N. No need to make this harder than it is." His hand raised the knife, you felt your breath hitch in your throat.

"You- you killed them, Eddie." Your voice was shaking, you eyed his movements.

"You taunted me... with your calls." Your voice was shaky. "How the fuck am I supposed to trust you?" You gulped, trying to push him away, but he held you in place.

"Baby, I just had to warn you of them... they were supposed to be your friends, do you remember everytime you defended them to me, telling me that they were your friends and that I should be nice, hmm?" He asked, you were ashamed to nod, he was right, he had tried to warn you of them but he never listened.

"But they ditched you the moment you told them what Jason had tried to do to you, they humiliated you... you deserved so much better." His voice was calm as he attempted to comfort you with the knife still in his hand.

"I had to taunt you a little for not listening to me, but whatever I said to you wasn't bad." He reassured, you shook your head.

"But killing them was the only way?" You raised your voice this time, getting confidence from the way Eddie saw you as his soft spot.

"I was protecting you." His calm voice was more irritated now, his gaze landed on yours, and it was piercingly sharp.

"I- I didn't ask you to do that for me." Your voice was shaky, and Eddie tssked as he dragged the knife along your face, you squeezed your eyes shut, afraid.

He noticed your movements, and he was quick to drag the knife away, knowing it had scared you. "No need to be scared of me, princess." He still had that smirk on his face, but he was gentle now.

"Let me go or I'll scream." You demanded, but he just chuckled.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet, angel." He hissed, but he let you go. And you look at him dumbfounded.

"Go on, then. Call the cops, tell them it was Eddie, your Eddie." His eyes narrowed as they watched you, you gulped. He knew where to hit you.

You didn't want him to be in trouble, even after everything, even after how you had tried to hate him in these last five minutes.

"I- I..." You stuttered, and Eddie chuckled.

"Do it, princess, turn me in." He taunted again, and it's like you were unable to move.

"Can't do it, can ya?" The taunting voice was back again. But he wasted no time as he pinned you against the wall this time, standing closer to you than he ever did.

"Knew you wanted me, as much as I wanted you princess." His voice was sultry, the knife that was supposed to scare you was now running against your clothes, and he felt you shiver under him, it makes him feel more in control, and he loved every second of it.

"Look how you squirm with just my touch, princess. I bet you're s'soaked under that tiny little skirt, aren't you?" He questioned, you squeezed your eyes shut, you hated how much you were enjoying this, and you felt disgusted with yourself.

"Let's see." His hands were cold as they landed on your thigh, riding up your skirt as you sucked in a breath.

His touch was so soft and demanding that as soon as his ringed fingers circled around your panties you let out a whimper, Eddie’s pants tightening at the sound.

“You really needed this, huh?” He whispered against your ear, leaving sloppy kisses on your neck.

"Look at you, squirming under my touch, holding out your pretty little whimpers from me, you want this as much as I do, sweetheart, don't lie to me."

The hand that was holding the knife grazed your thighs, the knife's coldness caused a gasp out of you, and Eddie smirked. "Such a slut." He almost chuckled, and you whimpered at the nickname, Eddie knew you like the back of his hand.

"You enjoying this, princess? You enjoy me making you squirm with the knife I killed the assholes that tried to hurt you?" He questioned darkly, you didn't want to answer, you felt ashamed.

Eddie's hand that circled your panties cut contact, and you gasped, your eyes opening, he cupped your face harshly. "Fucking answer me." You looked into his dark eyes, and you nodded, simply. You needed him.

"Words, need your words." His grip on your cheeks was harsh.

"Yes- yes! I- I need you!" You stuttered over your words but it was good enough for Eddie now as he smirked.

Eddie's rough and demanding demeanor, as well as his protectiveness, was sickly making your panties dampen, you hated to admit it.

His hands let go of your face as they returned to their place, and his finger easily slipped past your panties as they entered into you without warning, you whimpered loudly.

“S’fucking soaked for me, angel.” He purred against your ear, his hands gliding in and out of you easily as your whimpers were blissful to his ears.

The knife in his hand was still gliding your thighs, his lips harshly collided against yours as you were left out of breath.

“Eds…” The words slipped past your lips in a state pure of euphoria. He focused his one finger on your spot, causing you to almost scream out, as he pushed his other thick fingers into your dripping cunt.

“Look at you, doll…” He murmured.

“I haven’t even fucked you and you’re already dripping. Waiting to get fucked by me, my little slut” He chuckled as his fingers stretched you out, making you gasp.

You were captivated by him and willing to comply to all of his demands. You had been yearning for him to touch you, for you to feel him, for his cock to wreck you utterly.

"Need to get rid of these." He hummed as he swiftly used his knife to cut your panties, you gasped, as the air hit your cunt, whimpering.

"Need... need you." You couldn't take it anymore, you looked up at him doe-eyed, and he almost melted with your words.

"What do you need pretty girl?" He needed more from you.

“Need you between my thighs.” You whimper as he groaned at your words. “Need your cock.”

"Need your cock, inside of me, fillin' me all the way up." Your words are enough for him to quickly free himself from his pants and boxers.

He hissed as his angry red tip, oozing with pre-cum, faced you.

You licked your lips at the sight, spitting in your free hand and taking him in your hand hungrily, giving his cock a few strokes.

"Atta girl... but no fucking, teasin'" His hands were quick to swat yours away, you pouted.

He took the knife again, this time he freed you of your almost transparent blouse. He recognized that blouse immediately, he could almost always see your tits from them, enjoying the way they jumped up and down when he purposefully hit the curbs when you were inside his van. But now he wanted to see them, fully exposed.

The knife was quick to get rid of the tiny blouse. His eyes devoured your bare breasts flashing him, and he groaned at the sight.

The hand that was free of the knife played with your nipple as he latched onto it, hungrily, sucking, pulling and everything filthy he could possibly think of.

The other hand with the knife was still travelling across your stomach, and then getting closer to your other nipple. always grazing to give you a bit of pain, but a hell lot of pleasure.

"Please, Eds, please." You were begging now, and he loved it.

"Such a lil' slut... begging for me to fuck you, after I just told you I killed all those people..." He mocked, chuckling. You felt your cheeks flush with his words, you were ashamed, but he was far from wrong.

He still had your nipple in his mouth, kissing and nibbling.

"You were fucking made for me." He murmurs.

"This fucking cunt was made for me." He lets go of your nipple, now his hands give your clit a tight pinch.

Eddie lined his angry red tip to your entrance, groaning at the sight of your glistening cunt, waiting to be ruined by him.

Without warning, he pinned you further against the wall and pushed himself inside of you, your cunt engulfed him almost instantly as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

It was as if your cunt was made for him, gripping him nicely.

He groaned, your pussy was milking him as he felt nuzzled by your warmthness, he was in pure ecstacy, and he never wanted to let you go.

Your whimpers were getting so much louder now, and he never felt more proud. He growled against your ear and choked you out with his free hand, muzzling out your cries. He watched the way your tits rose up and down, enjoying the sight, making him sink lower into you.

"Look at you, fuck, princess. Takin' my cock so fuckin' well." He groaned.

"This tight fucking cunt was made for me. Made for me to fuckin' use, perfectly made just for me."

Eddie was sure he was in heaven as he rocked his hips roughly and deeper into you, splitting you open until he was sure you were stuffed with his cock.

“D’you know how long I wanted to this, princess?” He asks.

You shake your head, whimpering.

"Up." He demands as he taps your thighs, you oblige immediately wrapping your legs around him.

His thick thighs are pushing your legs wider, “I waited so fucking long to take you. To take this fucking cunt and make it mine, make you mine.”

“D'you know how much I wanted to stuff you with my cock, fill you to the brim till all that pretty little head of yours would be able to think would be my cock.” He growled, harshly gripping into you, your hands tugged on his hair guiding him to go faster.

"You wanted this as much as I do, doll. I can tell, I can tell by the way your sweet little cunt is milkin' my cock, lookin' so fuckin' pretty when you're s'fucked out." His voice was dark now, and being filled fully by him made you whimper once again. You nodded your head.

“S’stuffed with my cock that you can’t even speak, baby?” He asked, smirking. You nodded, needing more, you were moaning loudly now.

“Lookin’ so pretty beggin' for my cock, I knew you would love the idea of me killing for you, didn't you? You love the fact that I'd do any fucking thing for you” He purred, his hips pushing against you.

You knew it was wrong, what Eddie did was wrong, and you surely knew that him stretching you open with his cock right after he told you he was a murderer was wrong, but fuck, he just felt so damn good.

“Needed this so badly, needed to stuff this tight lil’cunt to the brim, show you who owns it.” He moaned loudly.

He was quick to slip out of you, and you gasped, he didn't give you any time to process anything as he plunged himself inside your walls in a glorious thrust once again, stretching you open once again, and making you scream out.

“Yours, yours, yours” You murmured, trying your best to adjust to his huge cock again.

Eddie eyed you as you squeezed your eyes shut again, your head fell back from pleasure, your pretty lips were shaped in an 'o' form, and he could tell you were getting close.

“F-fuck, baby. You're squeezing so tight around my cock. You gonna cum, sweetheart?" He asked, groaning.

With both of his hands he was now holding onto your waist, the knife in his hands was dangerously close to your skin, grazing every once in a while, and he couldn't help but sickly smile as you had a terrified look in your face as it did so.

Eddie decided you looked so pretty when you couldn't decide if you were terrified of him or you wanted him inside of you forever.

He was pounding into you harder now, and you couldn't help but nod, you wanted to, you needed to cum.

"Needa cum..." You whined and Eddie's eyes glimmered with lust.

“Look at my lil' cockslut.” He purred.

“Cum for me, slut.”

"Cream my cock, sweetheart." He didn’t stop his movements as he roughly rutted his cock inside of you, your sweet cunt taking all of him as you released around him, gush of wetness pulsing out of you.

"Shit... shit... Look at you, f-fuck." He praised.

"Squirtin' all over my cock, f-fuck, made just for me."

Strained moans escaped your lips as the sound of his skin slapping against yours mixed with Eddie's groans were all that was filling the room.

"Your cunt gets so tight right after you cum, shit- shit." He moaned, his movements were animalistic now, he wasn't stopping.

"Don't think I can hold much anymore, sweetheart. Need to fill up your sweet fucking cunt." He cooed.

“Fuckin’ made for me. You’re mine and mine only.” He grunted as he pounded deeper into you now.

“Gonna fill that tight lil' cunt so deep with my cum, sweets. Paint your walls white” He cooed. "Gonna dump my load so fuckin' deep inside you, you'll never get it out, sweetheart."

Eddie’s deep growls and his animalistic noises filled the room as he sheathed himself further into you before releasing his warm seeds within your waiting cunt, his hot cum quick to fill your insides, causing you to groan once again.

He let out a last groan as he slowly attempted to come down from his high. He felt ecstatic, his big smirk never leaving his face.

After he caught his breath, his cock growing soft inside of you, he sighed. Finally relaxed, he pulled out of you with a huge grin plastered onto his face as he looked down to admire his work.

His warm cum was leaking out of you, dripping down your thighs. He was quick to stuff back all of his cum that tried to leave your pretty glistening pussy.

"Mine." He murmured as he placed a sloppy kiss against your lips, taking you in his arms as he carried you to your bed, so you could have your well-deserved rest.

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #ghostface!eddie #ghostface!eddie munson #stranger things imagine

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gukkie01 · 1 year

Text

Pair: Racer! Jungkook x Police officer! Fem reader

Rating/Genre: 18+, smut (little to no plot), humour (I tried but failed again 😐)

Words count: 5 649

Warning: explicit content, oral sex (F receiving), semi-public sex (I guess??), penetrative sex, vaginal sex, jungkook is a very very hot racer, fingering, car sex, sassy Y/n, dirty talking, unprotected sex (pls don’t be dumb like them)

Summary: Y/n was starting to get bored of being a police officer. She needed the thrill. Thank god, Jeon Jungkook was there to help her.

Note: very much liked writing this one. It was inspired by a book I read on wattpad (that I forgot the name of :/) but I switched the roles and decided Y/n was going to be the police officer 👍. Hope you guys enjoy this one! Sorry for any typos :(

💞 quick little reminder that comments and likes are appreciated 🥹. Enjoy! 💞

Can’t Catch Me

Being a police officer was not your dream anymore. For the solemn reasons that it was boring as hell. Nothing like in the movies. There weren’t any arresting criminals and interfering in mafia cartels and saving the day.

No. It was sorting documents and sometimes, if you were lucky enough, arresting cars. But where was the thrill in that? The excitement?

Sitting down behind a desk clearly wasn’t saving anyone or helping in that case. It was just making phone calls, watching some people here and then to make sure they didn’t leave. You never had to interrogate anyone. You didn’t even have your opportunity at playing the mean cop!

Because there was no doubt that you would’ve been the mean cop. You let no one step over you or cross any boundaries.

So yeah, being a cop or police officer if you would, was not thrilling at all. It was a shitty job that paid just enough so you could survive the month. Just enough. In the end, you always had to ask yourself if it was even worth it. And most of the time, your answer ended up being no, not at all.

Your superior was not even—

Speaking of, you suddenly received a phone call from him. Picking up, you cleared your throat, trying to sound as professional and calm and cool as possible. “Y/n,” he said and shifted a little. “I need you in my office. Now.” He ended the call, not giving the slightest bit of details.

But you were used to that. Didn’t make it less annoying though.

With an exasperated sigh that earned a few amused glares from your coworkers, you got up and made your way to your boss’s office down a little hall. Three knocks and a barely audible ‘come in’ later, you were sitting down in front of him, Mr. Kang or Monkey Face as you liked to call him.

“Yes sir?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow and shifting to the edge of your chair. Were you in trouble? You couldn’t see how that was possible. How could sitting all day bring you in trouble?

Monkey Face, without once letting his eyes divert from his laptop, clicked his tongue. “I’m assigning you to a new route,” was all he said, typing away on his laptop and munching on his gum a little too loudly for your taste.

“What? Where?” The idea of finally leaving this hell of a place brought interest into your features as you wiggled more on the edge of your chair. It was embarrassing really. It wasn’t like you were arresting criminals but at least, you were going to be outside, arresting cars.

Give or take. And you decided to take.

“Route 30. You can go now.”

So, apparently, route 30 ended up being more of a stretch of highway rather than an actual route. By the time the moon set, you saw two cars, and they were exasperatedly slow. But there was no one else behind so you let it pass.

You were sitting inside your car, radio playing but you paid it no mind. It was just nice having some background noises that stopped you from falling asleep although let’s just say it wasn’t doing its job right.

When you glanced outside, the sky was pitch black; no stars, no moon. It was like someone purposely painted it black. It made the outside much darker and duller.

You sighed and decided to exit your car. Take some fresh air. You stood outside, kicking rocks with your boots and after some time, you even started playing soccer against yourself.

But you quickly got bored once again.

It turned out that being assigned to patrol a road was worse than you thought. Sitting in your car, switching the radio multiple times until you’d get so frustrated you would just shut it.

At one point, you got so bored you were on the verge of tears. Which was pathetic but true.

You started singing off-tune to a song that you vaguely remembered, singing as loud as you could before that too would become boring.

And that was when the universe heard your wishes.

Your ears perked up at the ramble of an engine, far in the distance but no doubt getting nearer pretty fast. Too fast. With your heart thumping almost loudly, you buckled your seatbelt and waited until the roaring got closer and closer and you finally saw it.

It flew past you so quickly it was like it was never there in the first place. You flicked on your lights as well as your sirens and started the car, following as closely as you could.

It was hard. Whatever car it was surely surpassed your own speed. And if it didn’t slow down any time soon, you’d lose sight of them eventually.

They made a turn to the left so quickly that you almost couldn’t follow. Your car had been on the verge of driving off the road. You weren’t really on the highway anymore but more on a small route hidden by immense trees.

You were breathless and nervous but driving that fast was the biggest thrill of your entire life and it was so liberating.

Finally, the car decelerated soon after, swerving into the side and parking swiftly. With how fast it had initially been going, you were impressed with how smooth it parked. Whoever it was behind the steering wheel, they were clearly experienced.

Slowly, all the while trying not to make a fool of yourself, you pulled up behind the bright neon blue car. You stepped out and approached the vehicul, taking in deep breaths. Be cool, be cool.

You knocked on the window three times before it slid down and goddamn it—

Your heart literally stopped beating for a fraction of a second when your gaze met a pair of doe eyes. Your own trailed lower until it stopped at a particular shiny object on the driver’s face. A lip piercing.

For a moment, you completely forgot what you were here for, too dazed by the same piercing being bitten and played with. You shook your head, regaining your composure. Or more like tried to.

Question number one.

“Do you know how fast you were driving?” You asked, trying to muster the scariest voice you could. His pierced eyebrow raised up and he smiled innocently. He had this little bunny smile that made you giddy despite trying to calm yourself down.

“I’m sorry officer, I wasn’t paying attention.” He was amused. It was clear in the way his eyes twinkled and the mocking tone of his so fucking deep voice. You gulped a lump in your throat, trying with all your might not to look at any of his piercings and maintain your professionalism.

Question number two.

“License and registration?” You managed to ask without stuttering and the driver reached into the glove box compartment and handed you his papers.

You glanced down at them, letting your eyes trail along the information.

Jeon Jungkook. Born September 1st, 1997. He was a year older than you. His hair in the picture of his license was shorter and lighter. More like a soft brown whereas now, it was almost black. You didn’t know why you were even paying attention to that. You didn’t deign a look at his registration papers and gave them back to him.

He arched an eyebrow, clearly finding the whole situation amusing and to his advantage. He must have known just how much he had an effect on you right now.

Your inner thoughts consisted of:

I’m gonna get fired

But he’s so hot, I don’t care

I wish he could take me right here, right now

I am so getting fired.

Jungkook’s smooth husky voice quickly pulled you out of your thoughts. It was kind of funny how your heart dropped at how deep and soft his voice sounded. There was this little witty and sarcastic tone behind it.

“Aren’t you supposed to use these?” He asked, wiggling his license and registration in his hands. It was then that your eyes caught the tattoos hiding every inch of his skin. It was covering a big part of his hands and went up under his sleeve and you found yourself wanting to see more. You needed to see his entire full sleeve tattoo.

You cleared your throat, the air around you thickening by the seconds. You wondered if you were the only one feeling it. The tension. The want. The desire. Maybe it was only your brain playing tricks on you. Telling you that Jungkook’s eyes definitely trailed down your body, mentally undressing you.

Yeah, your mind was clearly playing tricks. Maybe it was his little grin tugging at the corner of his lips or his sweet cologne that made your brain alter like that. Surely, he had done something to you.

After a couple of seconds, you realized you still hadn’t answered him. You straightened up, flattening your hand on the top of his car, glancing down at him with what you hoped was your most serious glare. “I’ll let you off with a warning, Jungkook.” It was a little strange saying his name out loud, but you quickly found out that you liked it. A lot.

“But I better not see you here again or it’s a ticket,” you continued and saw his smile widening.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ok, your mind was definitely going a little crazy. You had just seen Jungkook sending a little wink your way. You probably imagined it. Yeah, it was all your brain.

He gave a little nod and started his engine once again. It roared loud and hoarsely and you had to admit that it was nice to the ears. You took a step back and watched as Jungkook drove away, ignoring your words from mere moments ago and going fast.

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

You had told Jungkook to never come back here but deep inside, you wished to see him again.

A week later, the job didn’t get better. If possible, it probably got worse. You hadn’t arrested one single car yet and all you did was sleep in your car. You knew that if your boss found out, he’d surely fire you and it would be over. He was paying you to work, not sleep. That would be his words.

You sighed for the millionth time this afternoon, whistling along the song playing on the radio. The sun wasn’t bright today. Your mood was down.

The radio was on as per usual and you could hear some of your coworkers communicating with each other, wishing you could do the same. You had nothing to say, nothing to warn. Today was pretty boring.

But then again, someone seemed to have heard you and a loud roar could be heard at the far end of the highway. Your heart thumped loudly and you felt your chest vibrate. Finally. You felt a smile curve up your lips as you turned your car on just as a vehicle flashed before your eyes.

You quickly drove away from behind the small bushes you were once parked at and started your pursuit. But it was quickly over. The car parked on the side road after a short while and you did the same a couple of meters behind. You stood outside your car, looking around quickly before jogging and knocking against the tinted window.

“Do you know how— Jesus! You?”

Fucking hell. Of course it was him. Jeon Jungkook. You should have known by the unique rambling of his motor and at the speed he went earlier. You should have known since the start. This job was seriously making you lose some brain cells.

Jungkook grinned. It was a little devilish and teasing and smug. He leaned on the inside of his door, looking up at you. Fuck. He had dimples.

“Hi to you too, officer…” his eyes trailed down to your badge, “Y/n.” The way your name rolled off his tongue so well made you shiver. His voice had gone an octave lower. It had that little rasp to it that almost made you drool. You secretly wished you could hear it right to your ears.

Just the thought of it gave you goosebumps.

“Jungkook, it’s the second time I catch you exceeding the speed limit. I have no other choice but to give you a ticket this time.”

You didn’t really want to. If you could, you’d let him off with another warning that would actually never get anywhere. He was too pretty to have a ticket. Too fucking perfect.

Jungkook’s wicked grin didn’t falter once even after your words. If it made sense, it seemed to only get wider. Was he finding this entire situation funny? It made your blood slightly boil. You felt like you were getting laughed at. Humiliated maybe. But there was also this little feeling, this tightness at the pit of your stomach when Jungkook got closer.

His cologne hit your strong and gosh, you wanted to breathe it forever. Bath in it. It smelled so good on him.

“Is there a way I could pay? I don’t have money right now.” His tone was suggestive and it took you a while before you got the proper meaning behind his words. And to say that you were shook was an understatement. You choked on nothing, face flushed and so warm, it was embarrassing.

Jungkook didn’t miss the way you suddenly avoided even looking at him, focusing on his steering wheel instead. You heard a low chuckle that shouldn’t have sounded this good. It shouldn’t have made your knees slightly fold.

Jungkook was an attractive man. You couldn’t deny it and it was pretty hard to miss. It was also hard not to stare at his piercings, at his pink lips that looked so soft or at the tattoos that were much more visible than last time. They peeked from his white top and reached the middle of his neck. They were simply magnificent. You wanted to let your fingers run along each of his tattoos.

But even with his fucking god-like appearance, you had to stop yourself from even thinking of further things about him. It was not professional to let your brain wander at these places.

So, in other words, you were a little too close to taking his offer.

“Don’t worry, you’ll have a week to pay, so if you don’t have the money on you right now, it’s no worries.” You replied, mentally high-fiving yourself for keeping your cool.

Jungkook shifted closer, and the tip of his index grazed your arm. It was covered with your uniform but it still sent a wave of fire through your entire body. “But I would really like to pay now. I have something better than money.”

Shit.

Fuck.

No, no no.

He shouldn’t have said that. You were on the verge of saying ‘yes’. On the verge of letting him take you right here, in the middle of the highway. His words were very powerful and from the way his eyebrow arched, he knew it.

“Do you know what you’re implying right now, Jeon?”

Something in his eyes twinkled when you said his last name. He smirked. Literally smirked. “I know that very well, officer. So, what do you say?”

Oh my god.

You couldn’t say yes, even with how much your heart—or more like your cunt— begged for you to accept his offer. But that would only bring you trouble. You didn’t need that.

“I say we’re going straight to the station, Jungkook. Come out.” His smug expression dropped for a moment, and you saw how disappointed he was. Maybe he thought that his sexiness and his pretty voice and pretty tattoos and piercings would have saved him, and it almost did. But you had to remember that you were the mean cop.

He sighed and opened his door, standing up in front of you.

You breath hitched when you realized how easily he was towering over you. He looked so intimidating from this angle, you almost dropped to your knees. It was then that you realized he was wearing a white top that was so tight you saw the entire shape of his pecs. He had a racer vest on top—blue with black lines and his name written on the back.

He looked at you for a second, toying with his lip piercing before eventually turning around and putting his hands behind his back.

“You know officer, it seemed like you were ready to take my offer. What made you change your mind?” So cocky. His ego was so big and normally it would piss you off, but with Jungkook, it was almost like a part of his charm.

“Stop talking,” you ordered in your most stern voice although it only made him chuckle. You unclipped the handcuffs from your uniform, ready to wrap them around his wrists.

“So bossy. I like it.” You swallowed on nothing over and over again, losing focus. The more he talked, the more you were overthinking. You wanted to push him in his car and let him fuck you.

“Jungkook, I said stop talking.”

“You like having control, hm? I bet you’d love to control me, even for just a few minutes…” And then, well, you kind of snapped.

You handcuffed his wrists together harshly, your fast movements making him take a sharp breath. You turned him around, slightly pinning him to his car door. “I told you to stop talking. You’re only bringing yourself further into trouble,” your voice was simply a mere whisper directed to his face. Jungkook bit his lips, bowing his upper body to reach your level.

“One thing you should know: I love trouble,” he said and his voice was suave and smooth and warm on the side of your face. His knee touched your crotch and he pushed it between your legs. You sucked in a long breath and let out a muffled moan.

Well shit. You were doomed. Because now, you couldn’t stop thinking about how his knee felt so good pressed against your pussy and how much his cock would be even better.

“Seems like you’re enjoying yourself,” he commented, looking down at your lower half grinding on his knees. He pushed it up more and added some pressure to your core. You were wet. Wetter than you’d been in a while and all because of a little asshole named Jungkook. He had his proud face on, enjoying the way your face darkened in a deep shade of pink and the way you obviously shook. He knew you wanted to go further.

“Remove those handcuffs, sweetie.” He said suddenly and his face was dark, serious and so dominant. You really couldn’t say no to that face.

So you nodded, taking out a key from your front pocket, fumbling with it clumsily until the handcuffs were off and Jungkook’s hands found their way on your waist.

He didn’t wrap his arms around you. He simply let you feel his hands for a while, getting used to the burning feeling they left even on top of your entire uniform. It tickled as if he touched you straight through your clothes, right on your skin. Thinking about it, you were dying for some skin to skin contact. To touch his tattoos while he was pleasing you.

Jungkook’s eyes were staring straight into yours. You knew right then that he had been thinking about that moment for a while now and to say that it turned you on was an understatement.

You cleared your throat, trying to keep eye contact without failing but it was hard. His stare was deep and intense and the way he continually licked his lips made it difficult to keep your eyes up there. They looked so soft.

You briefly wondered how they tasted before Jungkook’s voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Are you gonna stare at them longer before you finally kiss me?” You hated how his voice made your inside wiggle and giddy and your heartbeat accelerate.

You hesitated, on the tip of your toes. You were so nervous. And Jungkook seemed to catch in, as with a wide grin, he plunged down, lips crashing against your, and teeth colliding. His cold lip piercing touched the corner of your lips and made you gasp.

He snorted into the kiss, this time, wrapping his arms entirely around your waist and exchanging your positions. You were the one pinned on his car. And quite honestly, you liked this position way more.

“I’ve been waiting to do that since the moment you knocked on my window.” His sudden confession stole the air out of you. Just like you, he had been waiting to touch you and feel you up.

Fucking butterflies. You hated how they swam in your stomach and made it difficult to keep up with the kissing without feeling like you would pass out. Jungkook was a good kisser. Scratch that, he was fucking amazing. He moved his lips with expertise against yours.

You guys weren’t really taking your time but you still enjoyed it very much. They way it was heated and impatient and filled with want made it all the more exciting.

You wanted him so bad.

“Let’s take this further in the car, hm?” He mumbled against your lips, struggling to open the car in the position you were both in, but after a while, you were swiftly thrown in the back seat.

Jungkook hovered over you like a scary predator ready to attack and eat its prey. And you were very glad to be his prey.

His right hand lifted up and stopped at your cheek, letting his thumb rub over the softness of your skin. He was in literal awe as he let his eyes trail around every feature of your face. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Can’t wait to ruin you.”

If it wasn’t hot enough, it became too much. You were sweating, desperate to get out of your clothes and let the AC of the car wrap around you. And even more desperate to get Jungkook to fuck you.

Jungkook’s rough hands explored every inch of your upper body until he got tired of your clothes. He sat you up and as fast as he could, succeeded in removing the top of your uniform. His eyes twinkled as if he was a kid that just received his favorite toy for his birthday.

You let him touch you everywhere, he squeezed and massaged your breast until you were whimpering. He pinched your nipples, earning multiple cries from you. He seemed to love every second of it, considering the smile—worth probably a million of dollars—plastered on his face.

He didn’t linger on your breasts too much, though. You could see in the way his fingers always found themselves at the waistband of your pants, that he was more excited about what was down there.

He looked up at you, stopping his hands that were ready to slip off the last item of clothing (except your panties) covering your body.

“Can I remove them?” He asked and it warmed your heart that he remembered to ask you before going any further. You gave him a shy nod and kept in your breath when the cold air hit your lower body, more specifically, your inner thighs.

Jungkook’s hands covered your skin almost immediately. His nails slightly scratched your skin as he ran his fingers up and down your entire legs. But his eyes were stuck on the wet patch on your panties.

“Aren’t you a little excited, huh? Soaked even when I barely even started.”

You moaned. It was a small moan that was more due to your embarrassment and your need for him to touch you, combined together.

It was music to Jungkook’s ears.

He let his finger push on your clothed core, breathing in loudly when he felt the dampness. And then he slipped his fingers in your panties without any second thoughts or any warning.

He settled on rubbing his middle finger on your clit, looking up every now and then at the way your face contorted in pleasure. You were moaning continuously, asking him for more but he wouldn’t give it.

Jungkook loved teasing you and even though you barely knew him at all, that information was pretty obvious from the way he enjoyed slipping in snarky little remarks from the first moment you saw him. He loved how your face became red instantly, how you avoided his eyes. He felt so confident around you.

You liked the tease. You liked feeling on edge every time his fingers almost entered your pussy but then he’d move them away.

“Be patient, babe. You’ll get what you want soon enough.”

Babe. You wanted to hear him say that again on repeat.

“Jungkook,” you mumbled with closed eyes, internally screaming when he avoided your hole again, “I need more. Please.”

He chuckled, stopping the motion of his fingers. “Look at you begging for me. I should have known you’d be an impatient little slut.”

You whined at his choice of words. Dirty talking never failed in turning you on, although it was clear that it depended from who.

And it seemed to fit Jungkook very well.

“Please,” you asked again, not even caring how pathetic you sounded.

“Aw, you’re asking so nicely.” He slipped one finger in and you involuntarily arched your back. “So good for me, so tight too.” Another finger. “Are you gonna come from just my fingers?” A third digit, this time, curling inside.

The stretch hurted a bit. But it was good. It felt so amazing. It only added onto the pleasure and after a while, it wasn’t even uncomfortable anymore.

Jungkook’s eyes were plastered on your pussy and the way you swallowed his fingers so well. You were so wet, it dripped down your inner thighs. He kept biting and licking his lips, moving his head down by the seconds.

And then you understood what he wanted to do so bad. He wanted to eat you out.

“Do it,” you told him, wiggling and pushing yourself closer to him, his fingers hitting a particular spot that had a little yelp come out of you.

“What?” He furrowed his eyebrows, slowing down his fingers. You straightened up a little bit and took his wrist, pulling his three digits out of you. “I know what you wanna do. Eat me out. Please.”

He swallowed and nodded, pushing you further in the back seat and against the door. He properly positioned himself between your legs, tapping on your right thigh. “Open up,” he signaled, pulling them even more apart until you were wide open in front of him.

He licked his lips and plunged his head right in your crotch. Locks of his hair fell on your thighs, tickling you and making shivers run up your entire body. And then his tongue touched you. So warm. So soft. So pleasurable.

He licked the lips at first before slipping his tongue inside, grunting. He had mumbled something but with his face between your legs, the words came out muffled and unclear.

“Fuck, it’s so fucking good. Please don’t stop.” He dug his fingers in your thighs to keep them apart. He thrusted his tongue in and out of your cunt, sometimes, keeping it in deep, filling up all the right places, grazing all the right spots until you were wiggling, and legs wrapping around his face, bucking your head up.

He let you do it. Let you suffocate his face until your juice rolled down his mouth and he pulled himself away. White liquid covered his lips and something in your belly tightened at the sight.

It was so obscene but so hot. You pulled him by his vest to smash your lips on his and taste yourself. He slipped off his vest in the process, tearing down his top and struggling out of his black baggy pants, his boots already off.

He was left in those Calvin Klein sinful briefs that allowed you to see is bulge and fuck, he was big. Perfect length and thickness and that had you drooling literally. You wanted to touch every inch of his body. He was perfectly sculpted.

“I’m gonna fill you up so good, babe. Can’t wait to fuck you into oblivion.” He whispered in your ear and let you remove his boxers until his cock sprung free and stood proudly.

You were astonished and couldn’t tear your eyes away. You were never one to find dicks beautiful, but with Jungkook, you could stare at it and a suck it all day.

But not right now. There were more important matters. Like your desperation to have his cock fuck you.

“Jungkook, I need it inside. Please.”

Jungkook couldn’t get enough of your begging. He wanted to go as far as recording it and jerking himself off at night.

He aligned himself right in front of your entrance and looked up at you. “Are you okay? I really want to fuck the shit out of you but if you changed your mind—“

You cut him off with your finger, grinning at him. “I’ve never wanted something more in my entire life. So please, do it already.” Jungkook’s face brightened up at your response. He liked how you had shut him up and ordered him.

You pushed yourself against his cock just as he began slipping it in slowly, groaning and snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, biting right under your jaw.

“Oh my fucking god, I won’t last long,” he mumbled, sucking in multiple sharp breaths. One of his hands was holding himself beside your head and the other was wrapped around you, securing you in his grasp.

When Jungkook was fully in, he stayed still for a couple of seconds, enjoying the way your walls were so warm and perfectly wrapped around his cock. But then, he slowly slipped out until the head of his dick was at your rim and slammed back in. “Oh fuck—”. You bucked your hips up, meeting his thrust and letting out a scraped moan along with Jungkook’s groan.

“If I knew it was this good,” you started but cut yourself off when he picked up his pace, squeezing your flesh, “I would’ve accepted your offer from the beginning.”

He chuckled, looking down attentively as his cock disappeared in and out of your pussy, being soaked with your slick. It was warm and it drove Jungkook crazy. He wanted to stay inside forever.

“Well, I wanted to fuck you the moment I laid my eyes on you,” he admitted and slowed down his thrusts.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion until Jungkook flipped you over and you were straddling him. From this position, everything felt so different. He felt so much deeper, as if you could feel him with your hands if you touched your belly.

He gripped your hips tightly to the point when it almost hurted and glanced up at you. “Ride me like the naughty little slut you are, hm?” His voice was so hoarse compared to earlier, and so much more seductive and his sinful words rolled off his tongue in a way you found so satisfying.

You nodded and wrapped your hands around his neck. As you bounced up and down, your breasts followed the rhythm and they were practically jumping in Jungkook’s face, basically calling out to him to suck on them.

Which he ended up doing, letting go of your hips and licking, biting and squeezing the sensitive skin of your chest. He marked your entire cleavage until he was happy at how dark and red it looked.

Your pussy clenched around his cock, earning a strangle moan out of you two and then a moan from Jungkook when you clenched again.

“Is my little slut already so close?”

“Y-yes. It’s so good, I can’t hold it in much longer.” His hands grasped your waist and slid you down his cock until it was buried so deep, you couldn’t find the voice in you to make a sound. He was fucking you so well.

“You’re taking my cock like a good girl. I think you deserve to come.” He mumbled, moving his head closer to yours and nibbling on your bottom lip.

“Please, Jungkook. I want to come so bad. Please please.”

“Fuck, begging like that, I don’t think I can last longer too.”

His words made you keep going, bouncing on his length over and over again to the point where you reached some overstimulation, shaking violently in his arms.

Your voice was loud and the only word that was heard was Jungkook Jungkook Jungkook.

Your cum ran down his length, to his thighs and made his skin glisten in white. Your head was dizzy and your eyes hazed as you glanced down at Jungkook. Your stomach kept tightening every time he moved his hips upward.

He came no longer after, slamming you down his cock and keeping you there for a long moment, moaning how good you were and how hot you looked.

You leaned on his chest after a moment, catching your breath although it proved to be a difficult task. Your lungs felt empty, devoid of any air. But it was fine because you had just been fucked by Jeon Jungkook. And it was the best sex of your life.

After Jungkook regained his composure, he wrapped his arms around you and looked up. One of your hands was running along his tattoos and the other was busy, combed in his sticky hair. Jungkook was a fucking piece of art.

“So,” he started, pushing a few locks of hair away from your face, “Do I still need to pay for that ticket?”

“Heck yeah.”

2K notes · View notes

midnightsun-if · 4 months

Note

Can we have RO (relationship) reaction getting a note passed them saying

Do you like me?

Yes

Definitely

Absolutely

And see MC hiding behind something looking at them

It was a silly idea you had in the middle of Professor Locke's lecture-- one borne from an ideal mind as you had already prepared for the test thanks to your dorm-mates-- and it's not one that'd leave your mind. Not when you could see the cause of such an idea just a few seats away.

With lips pressed together, a feeble attempt at keeping your growing smile hidden, you rip a small section off the corner of your notes, briefly checking to make sure that Professor Locke was still none the wiser; not that you think he'd care, he was fairly laidback. Your mother on the other hand? If she somehow got wind of this? You weren't so certain of-- so it's better to be safe than sorry... When you're certain you're in the clear, you jot down a few words, trying your best not to chuckle at the absurdity of it, and lean towards your desk mate, dropping your voice to a conspirationally whisper. "Do you think you could send this over there, Willow?" You point towards the person you are directing her towards. "I'd really appreciate it."

Pale blue eyes flicker to where you've gestured, a small hum leaves her lips as she takes the scrap of paper without a word. Pale fingers enclose around it, her eyes taking on a darker blue hue for the briefest of moments as her magic ignites, before everything settles once more; her hand now being empty when she returns to taking notes once more. Something that causes a bright smile to finally break out across your lips.

Hiding yourself behind an old tome, you impatiently wait for the incoming response-- one you had no doubt was coming-- only peeking out every now-and-then to ensure that Willow hadn't accidentally sent it to the wrong person. That would definitely be embarrassing. When you're met with their gaze looking back at you, an innate response to jump out of your seat in surprise is just barely halted, which you're thankful for as not even a second later another shimmer of magic appears softly in front of you as a torn piece of paper lands before you-- a familiar script scrawled across it.

Koda:

[Absolutely! Do you want to watch a movie after this lecture? -- Koda <3]

Scarlett:

[I fear this may come as a surprise to you, my heart, but my feelings for you could never be encapsulated in such a trivial word. I adore and love you-- for you loved me when I didn't even love myself. -- Eternally Yours, Scarlett Voltaire]

Cyrus/Cyra:

[Is this some form of test, my flame? I believe I'm woefully unprepared if it is. To answer your question, however, I absolutely like you. -- C. Aurelia]

Quinn:

[I do actually. Quite a bit more than I ever thought I would. Something that seems to grow more and more as I spend time with you. -- Quinn]

Caden:

[You know that I do. You've brought warmth back into my life when I never thought it'd be a possibility again. -- Caden]

Sloane:

[Sometimes I wonder why I do when you send me notes like this after we've been dating for months now... But, yes... I do like you... Even if you make me question my sanity. -- Sloane]

Blake:

[I can show you how much I like you back at the dorm, if you'd like... ;) -- Blake]

Reginald/Regina:

[Yes! I absolutely like you! Definitely have never had any doubts about that. Do you like me? -- Reggie/Gina]

#midnight sun #asks #ro: blake herrera #ro: c aurelia #ro: r presley #ro: quinn grant #ro: sloane addams #ro: koda kingston #ro: caden randall #ro: scarlett voltaire #scenario asks #might have gone a bit overboard for this #but i hope you like it all the same :D

101 notes · View notes

gennyanydots · 1 year

Text

Be My Escape

Past asshole boyfriend Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x f!reader

Future Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader

Part 2/3

Catch up on part 1 here

Part 3

Masterlist

The following day, your parents drove you and your things the whole way to your new school, The University of Virginia. You were thankful that, that had always been the plan so you could secretly cry the whole way in the backseat. Even though you were the one to breakup with Jake, you knew that it was harder on you. It was always going to be. You had real feelings for him, you doubt he paid you much mind at all. Clearly didn’t think well enough of you to not cheat on you and lie to you.

Your cousin met you at your summer dorm and helped you and your parents move your things in. Your parents couldn’t take any time off from work so they had to leave almost as soon as you were unpacked but they wouldn’t miss taking their baby girl to college for anything so they did what they would. They knew you’d be in good hands with Russel. Your mom was practically sick with worry to leave you, but Russ assured her that he would take good care of his “baby sister”. His friends would too. Nothing like what happened in high school would happen in college. He’d make sure of it.

As soon as your parents left, Russ made you pack an overnight bag so he could take you to his apartment. He said there was no way he could leave you alone in your dorm to wallow. He wasn’t about to let you cry alone in the dark over some asshole that he really wants to kick the shit out of.

Russ told you he warned his roommate that he was bringing his favorite cousin home to the apartment and apparently let on that you had just had a very bad breakup and might be in a less than fun mindset. That made you roll your eyes. Just what you wanted. Someone to feel bad for you.

When you arrived at the apartment, his roommate was nowhere to be found. He left Russ a note on the coffee table saying that he cleaned his bedroom, including his bedding, for you to stay in and that there was ice cream in the freezer for you and a box of popcorn on the counter for all the sad movies you might want to watch per breakup tradition.

You gave Russ a questing look before he shrugged at you.

“That’s just the way he is. He’s my best friend but he would have done that sort of thing for anyone. He hates it when people are upset,” Russ explained and you nodded.

“Please thank him for me,” you said as Russ walked you into his roommate’s room. True to their word the bedroom looked immaculate. Nothing on the floor. The dresser was tidy. The bed was made. It even smelled clean.

“Do you want to rest or anything or should I get some pizza?” Russ asked as he leaned against the door frame and pulled out his phone.

You shrugged, “Maybe order the pizza and I’ll lay down until it gets here?”

Russ nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You let out a big breath. Well. Here you were. Stayed away from everything you knew.

A couple of your friends had texted you this morning about what Jake got up to the night before but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to waste any more mental energy on him. He made his feelings quite clear.

Plus you’re sure you can find someone much better here to date, though the bar is so low that almost anyone would be better than Jake.

You shook your head a little to get rid of your thoughts. No more Jake. He doesn’t exist anymore.

You decided to quietly snoop through Russ’s roommate’s things. Not opening drawers or anything, that would be an invasion of privacy, just looking at the things around the room.

A few pictures were on the dresser. One of two men with their arms wrapped around each other, one lighter haired man with a mustache and one darker haired man who was much shorter than the other man. Another picture of the same mustached man with a little blonde boy both of them grinning from ear to ear at the camera. A third picture was of a curly haired boy with a blonde woman, both scrunching their noses at each other.

A few text books and a notebook laid out on the desk. Nothing too interesting.

You sat down in the desk chair and rip out a blank piece of paper. You might as well thank Russ’s roommate yourself.

You write:

“Dear Russel’s Roommate,

Thank you very much for everything you did for me. You are incredibly sweet and I really appreciate it all.

- Y/N”

Past that first night you spent a fair amount of time at Russell’s apartment. His roommate always seemed to be gone. Either working or in class or at another friend’s house.

Russ explained that his roommate didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable here. He wanted to make sure this was a safe space for you. If you planned on staying over there was always clean sheets on the nicely made bed. And ever since you started with it, there was always a note to you. If you weren’t staying over it would be on the coffee table with your name on it.

You tried to tell him that he could hang out with you guys too but he never said anything about it in his notes to you. Oftentimes the notes would be a corny joke or two. Sometimes they would just say that he hoped you had a wonderful day because you deserved to.

All summer it was like that.

When the new semester hit you were much busier than you had been in the summer. You took more classes. You got involved. You made friends. The time you spent at Russ’s apartment was less and less. Russ would always make sure to see you at least once a week but as strange as it seemed you missed his roommate despite never actually meeting him.

You decided the next time you went over to leave your number for him. A big step in your kinda sorta friendship.

So that Thursday when you went over that’s exactly what you did. You left your number.

When you were back in your dorm that night, slightly feeling a little anxious about the whole ordeal despite your roommate telling you it wasn’t that big of a deal, you got a text from a number you didn’t know.

It said, “what happens when you get soap in your mouth when you’re singing in the shower?”

You responded with, “Umm I don’t know.”

“It becomes a soap opera!”

And from that day forward you received some sort of terrible joke daily.

“I don’t know what the best thing about Switzerland is but the flag is a big plus.”

“I don’t trust those trees on campus. They seem shady.”

“I know a joke about chemistry but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.”

By October you still hadn’t met Russ’s roommate but you did talk to him a lot. Outside of his daily jokes he always tries to check in with you to see how you’re doing, how classes are going, if you need anything.

You were with Jake for two years and he never did this kind of stuff and you barely knew this guy.

When Halloween weekend arrived, your own roommate decided to drag you to a party. You both decided it would be fun to dress up as tourists complete with Hawaiian shirts, leis, and fanny packs.

When you told Russ what you were dressing up as he laughed really hard. You weren’t sure why. Yeah your costume was funny but it definitely wasn’t THAT funny.

This was your first bigger college party. It was at one of the fraternity houses that your roommate’s boyfriend was in.

Being the shy kid in high school you hadn’t gone to too many parties, not that Jake would take you to them anyway, but you were having fun at this one. Your roommate and you both drank a couple drinks and mostly just spectated together. You two watched all the drunken shenanigans together until eventually she was whisked away by her boyfriend. She made you promise though not to leave the house without her, her boyfriend already had told you both he would be walking you both back, though you’re pretty sure your roommate would just be stopping by the dorm to grab some things before heading back out with him. You appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Even without your spectating buddy you continued watching everything that was going on while sipping on a drink.

It didn’t take too long before someone sidled up to you.

“Hey look! We match!” A voice said from beside you.

You look and lo and behold the man next to you was wearing a very similar Hawaiian shirt along with a pink tutu. He was taller than you. Light brown curly hair. Cute boyish smile. Vaguely familiar mustache that you can’t quite figure out why it’s familiar to you.

“Ave Ventura?” You asked while gesturing to the tutu.

He chuckled and nodded, “You win a gold star. Pretty sure only one other person guessed my costume right.”

“Clearly these partygoers have poor taste,” you said with a giggle.

He nodded, “Agreed. Uncultured swine. All of them.”

“Maybe not that far…”

“You sure? I watched someone chug a beer, throw up, and then went back to chugging beer,” he said pointedly.

“I don’t think today is a good day to base opinions on people. Pretty much everyone is running around like a hooligan,” you said as you gestured to the party.

He chuckled and nodded, “You’re right. However, there are at least two non-hooligans. What’s that say about us?”

You shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

“I am. We’re clearly in the right and making sound decisions with our lives.”

“You sure? I’m drinking underage,” you said as you sipped your drink.

“Yeah you and everyone else. Plus, my uncle snuck me beers as soon as I turned 16 as long as I didn’t let my mom know.”

“For shame!” You said with a laugh.

He shrugged and laughed, “She probably knew. Not much got past her. I never got away with anything.”

“I never really tried to get away with anything. I was perfectly content doing what I was supposed to.”

He smiled, “Nothing wrong with that. Rebellion isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. I’m a rule follower. Now more so than then.”

You nodded, “It’s easier that way.”

“Agreed,” he said then turned a little bit more towards you and held out his hand. “Bradley Bradshaw. I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

You look him up and down and grinned, “Not officially but I’ve been in your bed a time or two.”

He blushed and scratched the back of his head, “I’m really sorry. I really don’t do that often. I don’t remember you and I do apologize. I haven’t done that in a long, long while.”

You shook you head and laughed, “Not like that. Maybe this will help. I used to be addicted to soap but I’m clean now.”

You watched as Bradley’s face broke out into a grin, “I should have known it was you.”

You smiled back at him, “Oh? And how should you have known?”

Bradley shrugged, “You and Russ look kinda similar but also this was the first conversation all night I enjoyed and the only other person I’ve recently been loving conversations with is this one girl who keeps sleeping in my bed.”

“That sounds mildly inconvenient for you. Her sleeping in your bed.”

He shook his head, “Can’t say that I mind it one bit. After she sleeps in my bed, my pillow always smells like her. I mean that in the least creepy way possible. It just smells really good and I like it a lot.”

You blushed and laughed, “Well, that’s a new one. Can’t say anyone’s ever told me they liked when I sleep in their bed because I smell good.”

Bradley shrugged, “They’re missing out. And they’ll continue to miss out. If you sleep in someone else’s bed I’ll pout.”

“I wouldn’t want to make you sad,” you said with a giggle.

“Glad we’re in agreement. Only my bed. And your bed. But maybe I could take you out and eventually lay in that bed together. For sleeping. Not for other things. Unless you wanted to do other things. And were completely comfortable doing those things. With me. I would never push you for things you weren’t comfortable with. I’m not like that at all. And I would never treat you like however your asshole ex did. Russ didn’t tell me. Just told me that if he ever set foot on campus we had to beat him up. Should I have told you that? I don’t think so. Oh God. I’ve fucked this up. Shit. I’m sorry.”

You laughed and put a hand on his arm, “Relax. I would love to go out with you sometime. And then we’ll see what happens down the line. And if my ex sets foot on campus you can beat him up. I’m 100% okay with that.”

Bradley took a deep breath letting it out slowly, “Okay. Great. I’m very excited. Not for the beating up thing. Wait. Yes I am. I would be very excited for that. If he didn’t treat you right then it’s my duty to beat him up. Protect your honor and what not. Unless you didn’t want me to protect your honor and you wanted to do it. Then I would support you. I really need to stop talking. I just don’t think I can. This is the most nervous I’ve been around a girl in a long time. Since like puberty. And that was a while ago. Stop talking, Bradley.”

You laughed, “You’re cute. You don’t have to stop talking.”

He blushed, “I don’t? I’ll talk forever if that’s what you’d like.”

“Sounds good, Bradley,” you said with a smile and reached up and kissed his cheek.

“Do you think I could walk you home later? I’d like to make sure you’re safe and sound. Never know what’s lurking about on Halloween.”

“I would love that.”

Part 3

#bradley bradshaw x reader #Bradley rooster bradshaw x f!reader #rooster x female reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #be my escape

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hyperraduo22 · 10 months

Text

my personal take on the todd anderson hair color debate from a hairstylist perspective

~ alr y’all time to analyze this shit cuz i’m going back to my second year of beauty school in september and also i’ll be bored away from home so i’m not styling any clients at the moment

lemme just start off with the fact that this boy is very beautiful but not only is his anxiety making him look like a confused ass goldfish at times but also it’s making his hair confused cause like in some shots, he does look like a bit of a brunette-

but then there’s other shots especially when he’s outside or under a lot of bright lighting where i see more yellow/golden undertones seen within blonde hair

so ofc i had to whip out more photos from other movies and like…

he looks more like he has brown hair but there’s a few blonde streaks in there like- give me a goddamn break

overall, i’m judging by the level system (as hairstylists are usually taught in school) and of course overall knowledge of undertones and other colors out there. there’s multiple conclusions i’ve come to:

1. he has lightest brown hair (level 5) ( i can’t put a link to the exact image i’m using but you can search up “level system hair color” if you wanna see what i’m referencing to, however depending on the brand of hair color/company the level system is from, there might be slight alterations due to the way that brand formulates their haircolor and how it interacts with the natural colors so not every image will match the names i’m using )

from certain shots, he has overwhelmingly more red undertones in his hair which is the undertones that are exposed more in brunettes. it looks more like a golden brown or possibly coppery brown color in some instances.

2. he has dark blonde hair (level 6)

if my eyes aren’t tricking me, there’s also shots where the undertones that are exposed are more orange-coppery/yellow-golden-leaning which indicate more blonde hair but it’s definitely a darker blonde no doubt.

3. bro has mixed melanin

yes there are people who have hair that naturally has more than one color. the most common example we see is those who have grey recently coming in or salt and pepper hair, however, this can also happen with other natural hair colors like browns, blondes, and gingers. he very well may have more brown hair but then there’s streaks or even patches of dark blonde hair mixed in there.

4. he has changing hair color ⭐️

there are people i’ve met whose hair color has changed overtime and typically blondes are more susceptible to it. especially when seasons change, sun exposure can affect hair color and make it so your hair lightens in the summer but darkens in the winter (just look up sun bleaching like why tf does a star from that far away have that effect??). however, this still means he has some sort of hair color whether it’s more blonde or brunette leaning—that’s up to you to decide from the hair colors above.

as you can see, i starred it cause i personally believe this the most. ( i also believe this happens to his brother jeffrey as well to a different extent )

5. he could’ve had his hair dyed

i don’t personally believe this but it’s a possibility i put on the table from a hairstyling perspective (plus the actors could’ve gotten hair done before shooting the movie which i mean they did get their hair cut so who knows what else they could’ve gotten touched up on their hair- maybe even chemical services🤷‍♀️). it could possibly be highlights that are starting to fade but even then it doesn’t look like it to me.

^ this conclusion is hard to tell just from photos at times and lighting/editing/cameras used in movies could mess around with it more :/

it’s much more accurate to just analyze hair in person.

~ so that’s my take + other options if you can’t come to a conclusion or believe something else.

planning on posting random headcanons soon :))

#dead poets society #dead poets fandom #dead poets headcanons #dps boys #dps fandom #dps #dps hcs #todd anderson #todd anderson headcanons #todd anderson headcanon #anderperry #i would love to style todd’s hair #being a beauty student means analyzing everyone’s hair #including characters i hyperfixate on #dead poets society fandom #dead poets honor #dead poets headcanon

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lyrenminth · 1 year

Text

Getting back together (part. 2)

Warnings: +18

Summary: After your third date, Joe invite you to “watch movies”

Joe didn't lived in the same house once you shared. He moved to another neighborhood with more security. After you moment in the club where you almost kissed him, you have get together and yes, the things were slow but you speak with him almost every day and after the games he calls you. Now, you talk about your feelings for each other. The things that went wrong the first time and how you can improve. It was too much for you. For him. Tonight Joe invite you to watch movies and make dinner. You aren't expecting to do any of those things. The first dates you only kissed and make out without going any further. He was patient, but you would be lying if you don't recognize how much you want him. He sees that, teasing you, giving you glimpses of his body. You arrive early, Joe's house is a little big bigger than the other one. Joe doesn't like big houses, like mansions and so, he stays in the same room most of the time it wouldn't make sense. "Hello, baby, come in" he is dressed so casual when he opens the door. His hair is darker, you can tell he took a shower. "Hi" you say, suddenly shy. This is yours first time inside his house. It's really nice. Very... masculine you suppose. "Do you like it?" he asks, looking your face. You nod. "Yes, it just like you" "Boring?" You laugh "No, you are not boring" You follow him to the kitchen and he shows you the things he bought, including your favorite ice cream. "You shouldn't have done this, Joe" you give him a hug. You lower you voice "Because we won't eat it" "What?" He says "I didn't hear you" You feel mischievous and confident. "Do you want to watch movies?" He raises his eyebrows, reading your face. "Don't you?" You shake your head. "I have better plans" Then he shows the typical flirty smile he doesn't know he has. "What are you thinking?" "That day in the club" "Ahhh" "I wanted to touch you since then" "You know I'm all yours baby" You nod, again. Standing on your tip-toes to kiss him. He leans towards you, grabbing you by your waist, pulling you closer to him. Joe's kisses are the best kisses. You feel his tongue touching yours and you left out a moan. Your hands go up, through his hair to his shoulders and chest. Joe is muscle and warm. He's alive, he's yours. You can't stop when you bite his lower lip, he lefts out a grunt and lifts you so easily, putting you on the counter. It's cold, so you shiver a little bit. "Are you cold, baby?" "Yeah" He carries you to the living room and gently puts you on the couch. His hands are all over your body, touching you, making you want more and more. He helps you to take off your shirt and bra, and the childish smile he makes when he sees your breasts makes you giggle. You take the opportunity to take off his shirt too. Without doubt, Joe takes one nipple into his mouth, you feel his warn mouth while his tongue is licking your nipple. Your body reacts, shivering. How long have you been apart? Your body really misses him. He looks up at you and you feel his other hand between your legs, resting there. "Joe, please" you said, feeling light-headed. He take off your jeans, leaving your white panties. Joe notices the stain and grins at you. "So ready for me, baby" You just moan, not knowing how to connect your tongue and your brain. He proceeded to kiss your body, starting on your neck and going down until your pubic area. He opens your legs and deposits a kiss in you core, where you have been aching for more. You arch your back in response, rocking your hips up and down. "Do you know how much I want to eat you?" he states, the intensity of his stare make you squirm. You shake your head, because you don't know. "Oh, baby, let me show you then" He makes your panties aside and you feel his wet mouth all over, then his tongue hits that sensitive spot delicately. You left out a moan and grab his hard. "Oh, Joey, yes, please" He stars kissing your labia, caressing your clit like he has been starved during years. You can't do much except moaning and rocking your hips unconsciously. Letting you go as the tension in your belly grows, it made you feel desperate. Full but empty at the same time. "Joe, Joe" you moan his name. Your body tenses and relaxes after your orgasm. "Fuck me, Joe, I need you" you say, in all honesty. He stand on his needs and starts unzipping his pants. You watch the bulge between his legs and you started wondering if you should give him head too. "Maybe another time, baby I want to be inside you" he says as he reads your mind. You nod and he gets rid of his pants and underwear. Joe Burrow is a beautiful man. "You are beautiful, baby" you said, out of breath. He winks. "I know" He lays between your legs and starts rubbing his tips between your folds. It drives you crazy. Slowly, he pushes inside you. Watching every inch getting in. You moan and pulls him for a kiss. "It's good to have you back" you say. He gives you a short kiss and starts moving. Steady. Holding your hip with one hand and the other massaging your breast. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth is slightly open. Joe's eyes are full with lust and tender as if he doesn't believe you are there. "You feel so good baby" he says in a low voice "so, so, so good" You feel like you're burning in desire, you hold his hand and give it a kiss. He goes deeper and faster and you can't contain the sounds you are making. "Faster, faster please" He grunts but goes faster. You feel a shiver down your spine trying to close your legs, convulsing. Joe moans, the vein in his forehead popping. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you. He falls on top, and you put your arms around him, tightly. He's still inside. "Joe, oh my God yes" you mumble in his ear "I have missed you so much, baby" He gives you kisses that make you giggle. "Don't left me ever again" he says "I want you in my life" You heart melts. You nod, over and over again. "I won't go anywhere this time"

#joe burrow x reader #joe burrow #fanfic #nfl

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randomstranger24 · 1 month

Text

I’m certain a lot of people think I’m some deranged lunatic and will be skeptical and or just won’t believe anything I have to say. I totally get it and if it were me on the other end, I think I’d draw the same conclusion as well. It’s more than reasonable, but I promise there is a much bigger picture and I think you deserve to at least know another perspective.

Not sure where to begin. I’ll start off first by saying I won’t be referring to anyone’s names or occupations to conceal anyone’s identity including my own.

I owe a big apology not just to the BoC fans, but also to Mike and Marcus, not that they would even give a shit, but if so, I’m sure they’d hate my guts. Yes, I am the original creator of the “Thrift Store Tape" and no, I am of no relation to the brothers, (no surprise there). I do feel spiritually connected to their music though if that’s of any consequence? (no surprise there either) I’m sure they’ll never see this, but I realize I could be viewed as an untalented hack and a giant piece of shit. This, I understand and I accept it. I never had bad intentions, I promise that, but it’s like they always say, “The road to Hell is paved with good ones”.

Here’s how this entire thing got started. Regardless of what anyone might assume, I never in a million years set out to intentionally deceive people into believing this was some long lost BoC record. Hear me out and let me explain from the beginning.

For years prior to all of this, I have been experimenting with recording my musical creations onto VHS and cassette tapes in attempts to capture those warm fuzzy lofi aesthetics, but Sometimes the final product is actually disappointing because you’d be surprised how good VHS tapes actually hold sound. So, fast forward 2018, one of my housemates at the time, who was actually the one who helped manage a Red White And Blue thrift store. This was the catalyst of what sparked this idea in my head after my housemate mentioned all the blank VHS tapes that were being donated.

I Purchased a whole bin of tapes and started dubbing my music, (both old and new) onto the donated VHS tapes to send back to the thrift stores to be re-donated in efforts of someone finding them. Kind of like putting a message in a bottle and throwing it out to sea in hopes someone finds it. I would donate several of these VHS tapes and would leave my dubbed mixes over top of older shitty movies. I had the idea of rummaging through and curating all of my “Old Tunes” sound-alikes and Vaporwave tracks or anything sounding adjacent and placing them on several tapes.

I probably dubbed well over a hundred tapes over the years since 2018, both used and blanks

I ended up donating most of them to several different thrift stores. Mostly old generic shitty “dollar-bin” movies that nobody really wants and generic kids cartoons. I would never destroy a collectible VHS or anything of value, so no worries there, but I doubt anyone will ever find the ones sent out and even if they do, they’ll most likely throw it away or something. I have a few tapes that escaped that were made with music that accidentally got deleted years ago and I would pay top dollar to get back, but that’s another story for another day.

Anyway, So, my other friend (Not housemate), who, (we’ll just say, is an independent filmmaker of sorts) had the idea which kind of spawned from mine to do a found-footage VHS horror film project also known as “Analog Horror” or the genre at least. Now, keep in mind, this is the spring of 2020 during the height of the pandemic lockdown. So, time is all we had.

I had the idea of using an ARG for people to solve to lead them down a “Rabbit Hole” as part of an interactive movie project. It would start off pleasant and would progressively get more sinister and darker and even more disturbing the further down you went. My main intention and goal was to hopefully have this project be the subject of topic on a big name youtube channel like “Nexpo”. I figured the music and aesthetic would all be “Old Tunes- BoC-inspired” and would give it a more suitable twist. I figured any fans that would ever come across it would take notice instantly that it was “BoC-inspired” or at least the music. I also figured the BoC cover tracks would add a few disturbing layers to the mystique of this “Rabbit Hole” mystery. especially since we wanted to catch those "Backrooms" "Liminal Space" vibes.

I’m sure folks will be skeptical and that’s okay, but just hear me out on this and yes, I’d be thinking the same way too, so I certainly do understand any skepticism.

Originally, the inspiration for the name “Strange Soup” Mixtape was used in the original upload in efforts to connect ties to this twisted bizarrely disturbing video titled “Blank Room Soup (Dark Web Video)”.

Now, you can do a google search about this video. It was a strange mysterious viral sensation for quite a few years after emerging on 4chan and has been a part of other “Rabbit Holes”. We ended up deleting the original video so that another one could be uploaded in place of it.

The idea was to incorporate it as part of this story, but we needed to scratch other ideas altogether because the numbers did not properly equate to the letters we needed to start the ARG and time was running out. We also needed the upload date to fall in line with the project. The creation of these ARG’s are not easy to create. Believe me when I tell you. I’m just some uneducated moron, so figuring this stuff out took trial and error. Even with the help of my friend.

Now, if all would have gone as planned, we would have opened another account uploading another tape in connection with the thrift store tape. We were in search of materials to craft out costumes like the one’s seen in the “Blank Room Soup” video and wanted to utilize the office space at my friend's school.

Originally, this is how this should have all played out in order for this horror project to have worked. We needed The first video to be uploaded at a certain date in order to maintain validity for the ARG storyline so it could be incorporated into the film project. The goal from the start was never to deceive people into believing this was a “long-lost BoC record”. I’ll explain more below.

The next step, after a week or two, was to have all of us post the link to the video in “thrift store finds facebook groups” in order to drum up the mystery. He and I shared the link on a few of the forums online such as Reddit and so on. The forums had absolutely nothing to do with music or ARG’s. Just thrift store finds and VHS collector’s groups. We wanted to build the mystery up and clue people in eventually. The original video sat on youtube for quite some time. It had like maybe 60-75 views after a month. That view count just stayed stagnant. Then one day in, I think late March out of nowhere, I got the messages in the comments. They were friendly at first with some people just mentioning it was “Boards of Canada”. I thought to myself, “Oh shit, they found the video”. Soon the view count just kept on climbing and Soon enough some folks started becoming hostile. I convinced my housemate to make a response video explaining everything. We all thought this was the best course of action because of how unbiased he’ll be for the simple fact, he has no idea who BoC is (Well, he does now lol) and he is not a musician, like, at all haha.

Me and my filmmaker friend were excited at first that at least we had an audience now and could run with it. So I figured the response video my housemate put out would quell any outrage and save our project in order to move forward but, boy, was I dead wrong.

The views kept climbing up and the comments kept coming. People were becoming hostile and outraged. Things got way too real and I started to panic slightly. I have a bad anxiety disorder and it triggered it for sure. I just had all these thoughts like, “What if I get sued by the band?” I had nightmares of the brothers coming after me and them telling me how much of a piece of shit I am.

BoC fans are some of the craftiest people you’ll ever come across, lemme tell ya lol.

They had somehow figured out the metadata from the original deleted video that was uploaded months prior. After it was confirmed and revealed to me they could dig this info up, I was in a full blown panic attack. I started hyperventilating. I messaged my buddy and told him what was up. He was against it at first, but I told him, “hey I have to delete this whole channel, they’re going to find out where I live next and who I am!” I just had the worst thoughts imaginable.

So, I hit the “Killswitch” button and within minutes it all vanished like a bad dream. I was genuinely worried at first that I could potentially face legal backlash, but my friend explained to me that I wasn't out there putting any BoC label on it or even labeling the tracks and attempting to make any money from it.

Some time had passed and the dust settled a little bit. I was kind of shocked to see people had ripped the original audio from the video and were sharing it to facebook and reddit and soon uploaded to Youtube. The “Dan Fingerman” channel was the first to reupload as I read through the comments and to my surprise they were all mostly positive. Some people thought for sure the music was BoC and others were skeptical, but most of them didn’t believe for a second, but yet still they kept talking about how much they enjoyed it. Even “David Firth” the creator of “Salad Fingers” left a comment at some point stating he liked the music, but didn’t care for the BS backstory. I was so happy that this music that had been sitting around for years on end had finally found a home somewhere.

This music is only meant for a small niche audience. Most folks will not appreciate it. I think where I really fucked up, was becoming addicted to the excitement of seeing people enjoy the music that I had accumulated over a decade. Believe me when I tell you, there is more where that all came from. It is ridiculous the hundreds of unfinished or hidden tracks I have stored on several harddrives, VHS and cassette tapes, but I am happy to finally put it all to bed today.

Here’s where I need to really step up and take accountability for my ignorance and selfishness.

Again, I was truly happy that people were actually enjoying the music so I did a foolish thing and ran with it like an idiot. All the hate and backlash that I will receive after all of this is all well deserved. Yes, I’m a giant loser, I'm an idiot, a talentless hack with no life. I’ll take the “L”. I just wanted to purge the last of this music and put an end to all of it once and for all. I think this was much needed and I can now move on with my life and stop obsessing over creating music that sounds like BoC. I can go back to writing and producing dark progressive black and death metal like I once used to lol.

The day I discovered BoC’s music is the day it changed my life forever and how I saw the world through a new lens. I became obsessed with wanting to replicate their sound. I think it is more than relevant to talk about it to help illustrate my madness.

Growing up in my teen years I was an extreme metal fanatic. I listened to a lot of black and death metal bands and played in many metal bands as a guitarist. My biggest influences were bands like Slayer, Immortal, Death, Opeth, Dimmu Borgir, Gorgoroth, Deicide, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest. You name it, If it was extreme, I was probably into them. I wanted nothing to do with any music that wasn’t extreme metal. I was very narrow-minded back then. That’s not to say I’m no longer a fan of metal, I’m just not as closed off as I used to be.

As the years went on, I would watch my favorite front men from the most prolific metal bands give interviews and mention their musical influences and would always be blown away by how far away from metal their influences actually were. One of them would mention Radiohead in multiple interviews and naturally I got curious and started trying out “Radiohead" and soon fell in love with Thom Yorke’s experimentations. I think this is where my taste began to shift. I started getting into the “chill trip-hop’ genres and bands like Portishead, producers like DJ Shadow, Flying Lotus, and J Dilla. So pretty much the recipe for being receptive to BoC was already in the making.

Eventually I stopped playing in bands after I learned how to play every instrument: Bass, Piano, drums and so on. It just got too hectic with everyone’s schedules to keep the dedication. I wanted so badly to learn how to write, record, and produce my own music. At the time I had a friend who used “Frooty Loops” to make Industrial beats, but that was about it and he would never teach me how to use the program. I wanted so badly to make my own black metal album and perform and record all the instruments as well as sing vocals.

“Opeth’s” front man Mikael Akerfeldt influenced me in other directions from the metal genre and

I eventually outgrew those desires and over time I became more interested in collecting vintage things like vhs camcorders, tape players, and record players. This really set the stage for me. Some years later, I was surfing Youtube in 2008 in search of videos on the drug `DMT" and a slideshow video of psychedelic imagery started playing and that’s when I was introduced to BoC's "Roygbiv" for the first time. As I was listening, it was like something inside of me was born. I’ll never forget that day.

Now, I grew up in the 80’s and I distinctly remember “PBS” and the shows that would air back then like Reading Rainbow and Sesame Street. As I’m listening to Roygbiv, I was in this state of disbelief. How did they manage to pull that off? These sounds of rich warm vintage analog tones of the mid 70’s TV bumpers on public broadcasting networks. It took me right back to my childhood and unlocked this part of me that had been missing my entire life. I had shivers down my spine. From that moment, I instantly fell in love. I just had to find out who the creator of this music was. I did some digging and one comment read the band name and I sought out more of their music. The next track I listened to was “Bocuma" and it buried into my soul even deeper. I had both tracks on repeat all day. It took me back to the simple days of my childhood of the early 80’s. I just had to find out what software they were using. I wanted to learn how one could possibly recreate something of the past with such an unreal haunting aesthetic.

I eventually found out this music was released in 1998 and that, of itself blew my mind as well.

I was so certain the music was from the present day using “present-day-computer-technology”.

Eventually, I got my hands on a computer and started to dabble in music production and also learned how to convert analog to digital and vise/versa. I had read on multiple forums and interviews of how they could achieve their signature sound and naturally I followed.

I would damage and degrade tapes to record on them and I had some incredible results and as mentioned before, a lot of disappointment because VHS has such a good HIFI sound. Almost better than any digital.

I would fall asleep and dream of melodies and try to figure them out. It got to a point where it plagued everything I did musically. Everything I would make would always end up sounding similar to their music. This is why I am happy today, to purge the last of it and move on with my life.

Am I mentally ill? Perhaps? Am I a lunatic? Far from it, but I needed to get all this out of my system. I am sorry for everything and I hope you can just enjoy the music for what it is. It was never about clout or recognition. I'm not here to profit financially. All I ever wanted was it all to find a home. Thank you so much for even listening and giving it the time. I owe so much to them. They opened my eyes to a whole other artistic realm. Special thanks and gratitude all goes to the brothers for all the inspiration over the many years. Thank you Mike and Marcus. Your music has settled deep within my heart and I will take it to the grave. Thank you so much and Thank all of you for all your kind words that I probably don’t deserve. Thank you for taking the time to read. I am so grateful.

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dear-departed · 2 years

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"We should try that." (Beelzebub)

I had fun writing this, give me feedback, please. I feel like it was okay, but it's definitely been a while since I've written anything smutty, so maybe cut me some slack lmao.

Beel being out fav tit man as usual

Warnings: Smut, just smut. Face-sitting, MC is afab, but no pronouns are mentioned.

Word count: 1.8K

Watching a movie with Beel is always relaxing. The constant crunching of popcorn takes some time to get used to, granted that not many people have a constant stream of it going throughout the film, but regardless, he’s very nice company. He doesn’t make remarks at every corner, he’s an awesome pillow, and he doesn’t mind your constant wriggling or snuggling closer.

Well, it would have been relaxing. It should have been. But then again, you should have known better than to borrow a movie that Asmo of all people recommended. Beel doesn’t seem too bothered, a little red in the face, yes, but part of you wonders if he’s even paying attention. His eyes seem hazy, a little glazed over.

It’s not like you should be super embarrassed seeing this sort of thing around him, after all, the two of you had been dating for quite a while, and of course, as most couples have, the two of you had also been intimate once or twice. But still, this was supposed to be relaxing, not arousing. Maybe a part of you feels guilty, what if he’s uncomfortable and just doesn’t want to say anything? Or what if he’s grossed out that you would dare show him something like this? It’s not like you can just stand up and change it, that would be so awkward and...

It’s not like, just porn, no, but it is certainly very mature.

“We should try that.” You’re ripped from your thoughts by your dear, ginger-haired boyfriend pointing at the screen, looking down at you with a light, nervous grin playing on his lips, his face now a darker shade of red.

Upon looking at the screen, you see the woman on screen straddling what you presume is their lover’s face, seeing as the camera doesn’t pan down that far.

“We have done that, Beel.” You say, smiling nervously in return. And that’s true, he had eaten you out before, and truly, he’s a beast at it. It's like his jaw never tires.

“You’ve never sat on my face before, though.”

Something arousing begins to brew in your gut, while your heart also slowly sinks to your heels. Oh god, that sounds so enticing but at the same time, so nerve wracking.

“Wow, huh... you wanna try that?” You ask, looking deep into his violet eyes for any hint of hesitation, but all you see from those god-forsaken mirrors in his head is your own, red face, gently illuminated by the dim light of the T.V.

His brows furrowed a little, his head cocking to the side. “Only if you want to. Why do you look so nervous?” Dammit, it’s like he can smell the doubt dripping off you.

“I dunno, it just feels like it would be a lot different in real life than on screen. You know?” You began to fidget with a lock of your hair, your nails raking through it as a way to distract yourself from your overwhelming thoughts.

“We can try it, and if you don’t like it, or if it feels bad, then we’ll stop, and then later, we’ll think ‘well, we didn’t like that before, so maybe we won’t try it again’. Does that sound okay? If you don’t want to, that’s okay too, MC.” He nodded his head once, awaiting your input.

“Yeah... that sounds okay. I’m willing to try that. I feel safe testing this out with you. Thank you, Beel.” You leaned forward a little bit, taking his plush cheek into your hand and beckoning his face forward, to which be obliged happily, placing one hand on the back of your head and the other hand on your waist.

He brought your back to the floor slowly, the control that he had to lower and raise you as if you were nothing to him was absolutely impeccable. His large hand that was placed on your waist made a slow trip up and down your side, before two of his fingers lovingly fiddled with the waistband of your pants, slowly wiggling them down your hips.

As he did this, his lips latched onto your, caught in a passionate, popcorn-flavored kiss, the faint taste of whatever soda the two of you had drank prior to this still light on his mouth. His other hand made the same familiar descent down your body, helping to tug down your pants.

After he got the fabric about to your knees, he lifted the fabric of your shirt up, breaking your fervent kiss temporarily so that he could get it over your head. His eyes slowly drifted to your exposed chest (let’s be honest, who the hell wears a bra at home?).

He caressed your hip, rubbing his callused thumb across your tender skin as he trailed it up to your chest, giving one breast a brief squeeze before he made his way further up, his index and pointer finger pressing on your collarbone before he held your jaw in a firm yet delicate grasp, tilting your head up just a tad.

He leaned down, his lips making themselves at home on your neck. He ran his warm tongue along the tender skin of your throat, paying extra attention on where your jaw met your neck. When he felt the goosebumps begin to sprout up beneath his touch, he knew he was at least doing something right.

He was always so intimate, no matter what the two of you were doing, always putting your comfort and pleasure above his own. Sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder if most of his fun was just watching you enjoying yourself.

He kissed down along your collarbone, then the valley between your breasts and down your stomach. Finally, he stopped, sitting up to finally pull your pants off completely.

He stared at your underwear, his gaze directing itself back up to you. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Beel.”

He leaned back down, planting a thoughtful kiss right above the waistband of your underwear, his warm breath tickling your skin as he whispered. ‘Thank you...”

Balling up your underwear and pants, he tossed them to the side, grabbing ahold of both of your hands and pulling you to sit up. He briefly paused, seeming to be processing something. He turned his head, reaching for a half-empty bottle of water, taking a brief sip of it and swishing it around his mouth, then, he swallowed it. After doing this a second time for good measure, he set the bottle down and turned back to face you, smiling a little.

“Okay so... I’m going to lay on my back, and I’m assuming you’re going to scoot yourself over my face?”

“That sounds about right” You croaked out, throat a little dry from the number of gasps and sighs you let out from the previous kiss session.

He nodded again, lowering himself to lay on the floor, his eyes hungrily trained on you as you gathered your wits, crawling a little closer to him. After mustering up enough courage, you began to shimmy yourself over his face, your clit perfectly aligned where his tongue happened to be.

Leaning forward, you gently pressed your hands on to his chest, which had thankfully been bare since the two of you had started the movie. After all, his man-tits made gorgeous pillows.

Just barely hovering over his face, he began to experimentally kiss and suck at your core, just as vigorous and hungry as you remembered it. Perhaps a little more sensitive in this position, because the sensations coursing through your body were absolutely delectable.

He grunted softly, his hands making their way to your thighs, he pressed you down a little more. “I can take it.” He assured, coaxing you to put a little more of your weight into his face.

Moans escaped your slack jar, tongue lolling out and head rolling back a little. Small appraisals fell from your lips as he slurped away, occasionally grunting against your heat. His hands gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, his thumbs rubbing the tender skin as he continued to eat you out, progressively getting more and more desperate.

His tongue flicked back and forth across your clit, relishing in the way your body tensed up each time his warm tongue brushed against the ball of nerves, the way your breath hitched every time you felt that shock of pleasure rides up your body, making your brain foggier by the second.

Eventually, he began to gently suck on it, sending into a surge of ecstasy. “B-Beel!” You gasped, gripping onto his massive man tiddies abs.

He withdrew one of his hands from your thighs, holding it out in front of you and making a grabbing motion with his fingers, signaling for you to grab his hand. He squeezed yours gently when you grabbed onto his, lacing his fingers with yours.

That moan that naturally fell from your lips was enough to let him know that he was doing the right things, the way your hands gripped him telling him that you were nearing your high.

Experimentally, he pulled his mouth away from your clit, blowing a gentle puff of cool air onto it, feeling as your muscles clenched after being so relaxed.

As quickly as he pulled away, he latched on again, beginning the same routine of suckling on your twitching ball of nerves, sending you shooting to the top again. In the midst of your pleasure, your legs began to tremble, your moans getting louder as the seconds ticked by. Twitching, your hips lifted up and off his face a little. In a hurry, he pulled his hand away from your, grabbing ahold of your thighs again and pushing you further down onto his face, coaxing you to carry out your orgasm.

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, your throat getting tight as every nerve in your legs and core felt as though they were on fire, shooting pulses of pleasure and dopamine that went from your brain all the way down to your ankles.

He slurped up your pleasure as if he were starving, moaning into your core at the taste alone. He released your thighs from his grip, leaving red marks where his fingers were.

You shimmied back off his face, much clumsier than when you first got on his face.

He sat up, running his long tongue around the outside of his mouth, savoring the taste of your release. “Did you like it?”

“Y-yes.” You fell back to sit on your butt, your shaky breaths telling him more than your words could, but regardless, he wanted to hear it. “We... we should do that next time, too. If you don’t mind.”

“I’m glad you liked it too, I loved it. Almost as much as I love you. Maybe because it has to do with you.” He yanked the thin throw blanket the two of you had been cuddling with over the two of you, snuggling into your side.

Needless to say, the two of you will definitely be incorporating face sitting into your sex life.

#Obey me #obey me shall we date #shall we date #omswd #omswd beel #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me smut

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wwouldvecouldveshouldve · 27 days

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KEYSSS my dear mutual congratulations on 1K likes aaaah you deserve all of them! May I henceforth ask for a platonic BSD matchup? I go by she/her and I don't have a preference for which gender I want to be matched up with :3

Personality: I personally don't know what my mbti is, so I'll just give a short description of my personality. I find myself to be more of a listener, but with the right type of person (really quiet or someone chaotic) I can talk for hours. People say that I'm nice and smart, but I doubt myself sometimes. I am physically affectionate with my friends, and often flirt with them only if they're not in a relationship. My friends like to banter with me and I like to tease them/make them laugh, but if they like to sit in silence then I'm perfectly fine with that as well. Sometimes I am too sacrificial and am bit too much of a people pleaser, but I am working on setting down boundaries and saying 'no'

Hobbies: I like to read books more than I like gaming and watching videos. I also like to learn new things, no matter how hard they are, because I am quite curious about a lot of matters. I can speak English and Mandarin, and I am partially fluent in French. I also love to play the piano because I find it calming <3

Topics I like to discuss: Honestly I can talk about anything as long as it's not something that I'm uncomfortable with (which I only have a few). I normally like to discuss history, books, travelling, and any funny things that happened recently in life

Things I hate: I don't hate a lot of things because I am a firm believer of the quote that love transcends all animosity, but what I really do hate are people who willingly do bad things and do not feel sorry for it. I normally am quite forgiving, but once somebody crosses that line too many times without genuinely trying to improve, then they've lost their chance

Something that makes me unique: I'm actually more of a classics person than a contemporary person. What that means is that I prefer classic books, classical music, classic movies, and old history etc. I do like watching a modern film every now and then, but I find that nothing captivates me more than the antique things. I'm probably one of the few girls my age who is more caught up with the 1700-1900s than the 2000s ahaha. I also am more of a jewellery girl than a clothing girl, and my favourite jewellery is silver jewellery :)

Preference: I'm okay with being matched by a character that commits crime, but as long as they aren't too crazy about it

What I value in others: I value loyalty, respect, and communication in others, as I believe that those are the three key points of any relationship. Bonus points if I find them fun to hang around with, and that they won't twist my morals and lead me down a darker path

Something I can't stand in others: Honestly anything that makes a toxic relationship; dishonesty, disrespect, and not listening to what I have to say

Remember to take your time my dear, and once again congratulations on 1K likes! Let's get that to 1K followers >:D

SILVER I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!! I was almost done with it and then it was literally all lost, but I still got it done. thank you so much, darling, and I hope you don't mind the wait.

I match you up with Tetcho! he's a silly little man, please take care of him.

He loves listening to you. There is nothing he would rather do than listen to you talk about the things that you are interested in, and he is not affected by what other people have to say about your interests. He would be ticked off at anyone that judged someone for their preferences in media and entertainment. He would not force you to try his food, but if you do like any of the combinations he would be glowing with happiness for the rest of the week. He is always a little sunshine, though, and is nothing but supportive. He loves what makes you strange, and he loves that you love what makes him unique, too. He would not let harm befall you. He would rather be stabbed a thousand times than for you to get a paper cut, and would be even more devoted to justice after meeting you because he would want to make sure that no filthy criminals can hurt you. He would not let Jouno make fun of you or your friendship. He would probably stab his ass again, and would start doing it more if you found it funny. Either way, Jouno will eventually make peace with you. He would love to listen to you play the piano, and might even pick it up himself if he has the time. He could also learn another instrument solely so he could teach it to you. He would be a non-judgemental teacher but he would definitely be a little strict. Secretly, he is a little scared that he is too overbearing when teaching you things. Overall, he would value similar things to you in a relationship. He is an honest man who communicates well, if not sometimes too bluntly, but he would do his best to always respect you. If someone else is to disrespect you, however, all hell breaks loose. Jouno and the Huntings Dogs will obviously get lighter punishments, though, and I don't expect them to cross any lines. He would, without a doubt, try to keep you as far away from his occupation as possible. Your safety is his priority, and he could not live with himself knowing that he was the reason why you were targeted by a criminal group. He gets anxious about how you are doing, so he will send a variety of texts about how you are doing throughout the day. It's a little heartwarming knowing that you're always on his mind. Because of his constant worrying about your safety, he absolutely loves to hold you in his arms so he knows that nobody can hurt you. Sometimes, though, he just wants you to hold him instead because he is always dealing with things for other people and he just wants someone to do the same for him.

that's all for today, I hoped you liked it darling! <33 have a wonderful day or night :)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #keysasks

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rewordthis · 9 months

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Ah, Kamo my boy.

I know you just wanted to be a good kid and a good leader for the Kamo clan but you should consider the chance that both Maki and Mai may never wanted to be married to you.

And especially considering Maki’s personality, if she indeed had inherited the Ten Shadows Technique, she would most definitely try to assert dominance on her clan instead of let herself get married into another clan!😗

Also, why are Megumi’s eyes brown?! Who forgot to colour them??? 😂

And featuring my biggest pet peeve in 2D Universe: Paper-dimensional teeth. I’m not going to tolerate this from MAPPA again! 😤😒

Points of focus that got my attention under the cut (spoilers obviously).

Retrospect:

“It hurts…” Yuuji after killing Eso. 🤨

Gojo is more tanned than we all think. The only ones that have a darker complexion than him are Yuuji and Yaga! This came a bit as a shock to me because I usually notice these things pretty quickly but his white hair are quite misleading. Haha I only noticed after watching him interact with the other characters in back to back episodes in my rewatch. 👀

Why was Kamo thinking of reuniting with Miwa when they fought Hanami? Does Miwa have the potential to exorcise special grades? I highly doubt that… hm.🤨

Ever since I heard this when I first watched JJK, I’m having so many thoughts about what this truly meant; what exactly Gojo meant when he told Megumi that he ‘won’t even measure up to Nanami’? Is this because Nanami is extremely strong? Like he’s the second strongest after himself— THE Gojo Satoru? Or — like I always understood it — because Nanami is extraordinarily strong despite not being complete as a sorcerer? This is giving me headaches for a year now… ugh… 🫤😬 Of course, it could mean both senses… Nah, coming from Gojo, it really sounds like the later meaning, right?🧐

What really bothers me in the movie; did Gojo really said “I love you” to Geto? Ahaha, not so much that it bothers me but more like the manga had Gojo blushing the minute he sets eyes on Geto, but Geto doesn’t blush until after Gojo’s last words to him. Yet, the movie never shows them blushing at any moment. What version is accurate? Not to mention… Gojo really had to decapitate Geto. Geto himself is a reversed curse technique user, which is probably why Yuuta went after his head during their fight (this kid knows his subject!). Geto got momentarily lucky that the katana broke but… Well, did Gojo do his job properly? He better— 😒

I think this is an unpopular opinion and people will go bonkers if I say this out loud, but the only reason for Gojo to tell Geto that he loves him in that moment and Geto to reply — well, like he did — is that besides friendship there was really nothing more between them. Individually, Geto must have loved Gojo in the more ecumenical or platonic sense— more like how you love your family, your friends, the people in general. It’s a fairly broad range of love. That’s why he didn’t consider Gojo’s ‘love’ a curse. Or at least that’s what he was comfortable with… Poor Gojo, really. This was his last chance to confess to Geto and the guy is just as blockheaded and dense as a cementbrick. Because make no mistake, by the narrative, Gojo speaks of love in the same sense of how Yuuta loves Rika… erm, loved(?) Rika… He means it as romantic love. Again, poor Gojo. If he really said ‘l love you’ to Geto, then that means he finally found the courage to admit his feelings, but his feelings didn’t come across! I did say before that his existence is a joke, right? He deserves this pain because he’s Over Powered. He can take it. 🤭😗

And what really bothers the shit out of me: what was the bluff Geto pulled while at Jujutsu Tech that they all still believe??? What did his stupid ass did??? It can’t be that he was referring to the way he manipulates cursed spirits, right? That’s too simple! Though it may hold some truth, I don’t think it is — or rather, it shouldn’t be — something so simple. Grrr 🙄😤

Ah! Btw, because I forgot to say this earlier, what was that bubble Yuuta used to heal Maki, Toge and Panda? Was that a reverse cursed technique? It seemed to sooth Maki’s pain. And in the manga, it looked like she was more or less healed(?)… 🧐 Yes, I don’t know.

Bonus Favourite juju strolls:

Gojo asking Nanami out just to break his nerves.

Gojo, Nobara and Yuuji ruining Megumi’s ‘pick up’ time.

#kamo noritoshi #zen’in maki #fushiguro megumi #gojo satoru #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuuji #okkotsu yuuta #geto suguru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 0 movie #jujutsu kaisen 0 #jjk anime spoilers #jjk 0 spoilers #jjk spoilers #first season rewatch!#update #fandom talk #episode rant

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cheonsarchive · 2 years

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Jay | Love Me Or Leave Me

Pairing: Jay x Fem!Reader

Genre: ANGST!!!! Hanahaki!AU (if you're unfamiliar, it will be explained throughout the story)

Featuring: Heeseung

Warnings: Graphic/triggering content! Mentions of blood, vomit, death, cursing, mentions of food

Summary: You loved Jay and he loved you, there was no doubt. So why were you suddenly coughing up flowers?

Word Count: 10,7k

Author's Note: Did I cry while writing this? Absolutely. But do I love writing and reading angst? Absolutely. It turned a bit darker than expected, my apologies. 🙃 There were a lot of things going on in my private life, some of which I am digesting through this oneshot.

The story was inspired by this tweet I saw a few months ago. I immediately wanted to write this scenario since I had a similar experience (without the Hanahaki of course), and this is the result. Despite it being sad, I hope you enjoy this still! I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️

Also, if you want to be tagged in future Enhypen scenarios, let me know!

Masterlist

Jay's phone had immaculate timing. The moment the credits of the movie you were watching began to roll, his phone started vibrating and the sound of his ringtone filled the room. It pulled you back to reality, as you were comfortably snuggled against your boyfriend, enjoying the movie in front of you. Jay shifted a bit, trying to reach his phone on the coffee table. Upon seeing the caller ID, he knew what was about to happen. He sighed and picked up, his manager on the other end. The call didn't last long, and once Jay hung up, he looked at you apologetically. You pouted slightly, knowing that he had to leave now.

It was usually like this. Jay was pretty busy with schedules, and you were glad whenever you could spend time with him. He also tried to make as much time for you as possible, which you appreciated. "It's okay," is what you told him. "Thanks for coming over at all, I know you were tired." He smiled at you, rubbing your sides soothingly. You stayed like this for a few more minutes before he whispered that he really had to leave now. You accompanied him to the door, and after he put on his shoes and jacket, he snaked his arms around you once again. He gave you quick peck on the lips and you smiled at him before he hesitantly peeled himself from you.

The moment the door fell into the lock, a piercing pain spread through your upper body. You were caught off guard by the sting in your chest, grabbing your shirt in response. After a few seconds it disappeared, and despite being confused, you decided to shake it off. You figured that you must have stood up too quickly after staying slouched on the couch for a while.

However, the pain in your chest decided to reappear a few days later. This time, it lasted longer and felt more intense, and you started to wonder if something was wrong with your health. It didn't help that you developed a cough shortly after too. You didn't think much of it at first, since it was getting colder and catching the flu around this time of year was common. It was weird that you only had the cough as a symptom, though. You checked for a fever several times, but the thermometer never showed a worrying number. And the cough grew more severe as days passed.

Jay took notice of it as well and asked if you were okay, but you simply waved him off by saying that it's just a normal cough and it will go away on its own. He looked concerned, since you rarely caught a cold or the flu, but he trusted you that if you felt really bad, you would go to the doctor.

And for a moment, you considered it after you had your worst coughing fit yet. It was the first time in your life that you coughed up blood, the first time that you felt like your lungs would collapse. It felt like a couple of heavy books were constantly being pressed on your breathing organs. You were scared that your condition might be more serious than you thought. And once you looked at the blood you had choked out, you made a weird discovery. A blue petal, soaked in your blood, lay in your hand.

Confusion was written over your features as you wondered when and how you managed to get a petal into your system. Maybe you accidentally swallowed it while taking a walk in the park? But there weren't any flowers blooming anymore, so where would that petal even come from? Maybe the petal graced one of the dishes you had at the fancy restaurant Jay invited you to yesterday? Maybe you ate them, and it turned out you were allergic to them? But you didn't remember any blue petals on your plate, and you also wondered if coughing blood was a justifiable allergic reaction to flowers. Still, you stuck with that option since it sounded the most plausible and you couldn't find a better explanation.

You soon realized that it couldn't have been flowers on a plate. Your coughing continued, and blood became its standard side effect. The next time you looked at the tissue you held in front of your mouth, you saw not one but three petals covered in blood. It freaked you out, since you had no idea where they came from. You wanted to go see a doctor, but you also felt embarrassed to do so. What would you tell them? That you were choking out petals? They would think you're insane.

Getting worried about your condition, you decided to consult Google, silently hoping it wouldn't spit out some kind of cancer you had never heard of before. What you found had you even more at a loss than before, though. The word that popped up when you typed out your symptoms was Hanahaki. Intrigued by how well the common Hanahaki symptoms matched with your current situation, you read through the causes. But when you found out that it was triggered by unrequited love, you froze.

Unrequited love? You were sure that wasn't the case, Jay and you have been happily dating for two years now, neither of you expressing discomfort in any way. He was treating you so lovingly, everyone around you said that he was completely whipped for life. And while you had your disagreements once in a while, you never had a big fight that wasn't resolved after. Jay wasn't the type to hold grudges and he was very straight-forward, so you would have known if something was bothering him.

Ultimately, you concluded that it must be something else. You scrolled through the web for what felt like hours, but everything you read led to Hanahaki. There was no other disease that had you cough up petals, even the Hanahaki blogs told you that this symptom was one-of-a-kind rare. You sat there motionless as you read through yet another page telling you that the person you love doesn't love you back which ultimately leads to your current condition. You grew frustrated, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you tried to convince yourself that it must be something else.

But the diagnosis was clear. You loved Jay, but Jay didn't seem to love you back. You couldn't digest this, since Jay was the sweetest person you knew and he cared for you more than for anyone else. At least, that's what you told yourself. You began questioning everything, every little fight or discussion that you had in the past months. You turned every stone in your relationship to find the cause of this, whether you did something wrong and he wasn't as easy to read as you thought. Whether there was any sign of unhappiness from his side.

Did he grow tired of you? Did you become too clingy? But why would he sacrifice every free minute he has to spend time with you if he doesn't feel comfortable? Both of you were very open about your feelings in your relationship, you trusted each other more than you trusted yourselves. So, he would have definitely told you if something was wrong, right? It just didn't make sense to you at all.

The way Jay and you started dating was pretty natural. You got to know each other through Heeseung, who was friends with both of you. Jay and you immediately clicked, spending hours talking on Heeseung's couch while the others were busy getting drunk at one of his parties. You became friends pretty quickly and grew closer over the months, ultimately catching feelings for each other. It did take you two a while to act on your feelings, it was one of those cliché 'everyone-knows-they-like-each-other-except-the-people-in-question' scenarios. You were scared that he wouldn't reciprocate your feelings and you regretted falling for him in the first place. But when he mustered up the courage to confess to you, your heart skipped a beat.

Jay and you shared many firsts with each other. He was the first one you went to a fancy restaurant with. He was the first boy you slept over at, the first person you shared intimate conversations with, the first person you made love with. The first person you fell in love with so deeply that you weren't sure if you could ever not love him. But what you didn't expect was that he might also be your last love.

You decided not to ask him about it. Call it denial, but the thought of Jay confessing to you that he fell out of love would shred your heart into a million pieces. You tried to convince yourself that he did love you and you had a disease different from Hanahaki but with similar symptoms. Maybe it wasn't discovered yet? You hoped this was the case, because the thought of Jay playing pretend would kill you, if your disease won't do the job.

You were surprised at how good you were at keeping your state a secret from Jay. You tried your best to hide the coughing as much as possible, especially the blood and petal part. It turned out to be the most difficult thing to do, since your chest ached every time Jay was coming over. You had to squeeze out every ounce of self-control you had to not break out into a coughing fit in front of him. And to your surprise, it worked out. But what shocked you was how oblivious Jay was to your well-being. You wondered if you were really that good at pretending or if he didn't care as much as you would have liked. That ultimately made your worries grow more.

It was confusing to say the least. Jay didn't seem distant at all, he still came over as much as he could, he took you out on a date (which proved once more that you had the biggest self-control on the planet), he even slept over once. That night, you had to pretend to take a shower and cough as silently as you could so he wouldn't notice. Yet he didn't suspect a thing. If he was treating you like any other day, why wasn't he catching up at all?

After a while, your coughing got up to a point where you had to cancel Jay because you weren't feeling well. You started lying even more to him by saying that you had an extremely rough day at work and you wanted to be alone. That was the first time suspicion sparked in Jay. Especially when you had a bad day, you needed nothing more than to lie in his arms, so why are you preferring to be alone now? It turned out to be the wrong decision anyway, since you felt like your chest was aching even more because he wasn't there and you started missing him. You really couldn't win in this situation.

You made a plan to unlove Jay Park. It would be hard, you knew that, but it was your only chance. You needed to grow distant from him as much as possible, since you didn't know how much time you had left. The coughing was becoming more and more frequent and you almost held full flowers in your hand after each outburst. Panic arose every time you counted more petals or saw a full flower in the sink or bathtub. You needed to push him away, it was the only possible way to save yourself.

Truth is, it was impossible. You loved Jay, you realized that once more now. You couldn't just break up with him, that would make your heart shatter into even more pieces. You were heartbroken from the fact that you were in a relationship where only one person loved the other, but you also couldn't cut the strings. In your frustration, you consulted the internet once again to see if there was another option.

Then you remembered there was. A surgery. People with Hanahaki could get the flowers blooming in their chest removed. However, it was a dangerous surgery and would cost all memories of the person one loved. You wouldn't remember anything about Jay. And you wanted to remember everything. Even though you wouldn't know what had happened, you couldn't wrap your mind around the scenario that you would remove Jay completely from your life and memory. You shared so many beautiful moments, so many firsts, so many hardships. There was no way you were going to remove all of that. So, you needed to come up with a story to justify your sudden death to a clueless Jay. And you needed to come up with it fast.

Heeseung became wary when he stood in front of your door and you weren't opening it. He had heard from Jay that you were a bit distant lately, so he decided to check on you since Jay wanted to give you the space you needed. And at this point, you were thankful, since it was difficult keeping your act up in front of him.

You heard the doorbell ring just as you finished choking out another windflower. You realized now that it was windflowers all along, Jay's favorite flowers. You've read about it, the flowers are oftentimes the favorites of your unrequited love. That was yet another piece of evidence that what the internet said was true. Tears were welling up in your eyes, but when you heard the doorbell ring once more, you were shaken out of your thoughts. You quickly wiped your mouth and checked your clothes for any blood stains, but you got lucky this time.

You didn't know who was showing up at your apartment without an invitation, and you got scared that it was Jay. You contemplated opening the door and got startled when the person on the other side began to knock urgently now. The moment you heard the mysterious person's voice, you felt relieved. "Y/N, it's me Heeseung. Are you there?"

Without a second thought you turned the knob and swung the door open, revealing a surprised Heeseung. "Thank God, I thought you were dead." Close Heeseung, close. You explained that you were under the shower and didn't hear the doorbell, but once your eyes glanced over to the bag in his hand, your attention was elsewhere. He followed your gaze and smiled, lifting his hand to show the bag to you.

"I brought your favorite snacks." he announced proudly, and for the first time in forever, a genuine smile spread across your lips. Heeseung was random like this. You wouldn't hear from him for a while, and then he would suddenly show up in front of your apartment, snacks in hand and ready to spend time with you. You enjoyed afternoons like this with him, but the timing wasn't the best right now.

You grabbed the bag from his hand and walked over to the kitchen, Heeseung trailing along. He stood next to you when you started unpacking, eyes sparkling as you were met with your favorite instant ramen, a triangle kimbap and soda. It's when Heeseung suddenly noticed something on your face that your attention shifts towards him.

"Is that blood on your cheek?" You froze instantly when you heard him. Damn it, you should have taken a look in the mirror before letting him in. In your hurry, you hastily wiped your face without checking if there were any leftovers. You mentally facepalmed yourself, you did a perfect job in deceiving Jay, so why did you suddenly let your guard down in front of Heeseung?

Panicking, you searched for the best excuse you could find without taking too long to answer. "What? Oh, that's just lipstick." you tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. But Heeseung didn't buy it.

"You never wear red lipstick." He pointed out. Damn it. You chuckled awkwardly, "Yeah, but I wanted to try it out. Didn't like it though." You quickly tried to change the topic by asking which soda he wanted to drink and while he had a suspicious look on his face, he dropped it after a while and played along.

Shit. You really needed to be careful now. Heeseung was usually the type to nag until you cave in, but you couldn't do that this time. If Jay doesn't know, then neither shall Heeseung. Sweat was forming on your forehead due to nervousness, and you were scared that your secret might be revealed.

Fate had other plans laid out for you, though, being cruel like that. You had been extremely careful around food and tried not to eat too fast in fear of accidentally choking on it. Your eating speed had decreased drastically and you hoped no one would notice. Jay never mentioned it, but you were sure it was obvious. However, your mind was racing and you couldn't help but chug down as many noodles as could fit in your mouth to calm yourself down. Yet it only resulted in you choking on them.

And there it goes. You lost control again, your coughs coming out in a series of strained choking noises. Heeseung was bewildered by your sudden reaction and he couldn't process the way you jolted up from your seat and dashed to the kitchen to hold your head above the sink. You tried your best to stop coughing but it was to no avail. Heeseung was by your side in an instant, a look and color on his face that suggested that every ounce of life has left him. He looked almost as pale as you and when he saw the blood you were losing through your mouth, he panicked.

"Y/N what is going on?!" he demanded to know, trying to hit your back to help you but it just made things worse. You slapped his hand away when you made a sound close to vomiting, a blue flower dropping into the puddle of blood in the sink. You coughed out some more petals before being able to catch your breath again, groaning in pain. You tried to register what just happened. Heeseung saw. He knows about your suffering now.

You turned your head ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of him. His eyes were wide, focusing on the flower in the sink and trying to process what you just spat out. The way you basically saw the wheels turning in his head gave it away that he didn't know about Hanahaki either. His gaze flickered over to you, his eyes just as wide as before.

"What just happened? Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. He had never seen someone cough out a flower before and it was horrifying to him. And when he heard a weak laugh as a response, he was even more confused.

"Do I look okay?" you bit back at him, half-annoyed at this point. Even though you tried to hide your illness, the fact that nobody caught on on their own disappointed you. Were they really that dense, or were you just an incredible actress?

He was speechless again. His mind was yelling at him to pinch himself because this might be a dream after all. Oh, how you wished it was. He shifted his weight a bit, scared to push you to answer more after you snapped like that. When you turned around and let yourself slide to the ground in exhaustion, he was quick to follow you.

He searched for eye contact desperately, and you granted it to him after a few seconds. You shouldn't have. The way he looked at you, guilt rushed through you because you didn't tell anyone about this. But how could you spread information like that if it would make Jay look like a complete douchebag? Even in miserable moments like this you put Jay and his reputation first.

"I don't understand, please explain to me. You look way too relaxed for my liking. Has this happened before?" Heeseung said in a low voice just above a whisper. Relaxed? Not really. Used to it by now? Yeah. You took a deep breath, one that made your stomach turn. Trying to blink away the tears that were forming in your eyes, you organized your thoughts before speaking up again.

"Ever heard of Hanahaki before?" Heeseung shook his head slightly. But at least your condition had a name now. You nodded understandingly, since you were similarly clueless about this disease before you got it yourself. "It's a disease where you cough up flowers. Until you die."

You didn't think it was possible, but Heeseung's skin lost even more color upon hearing the word 'die.' He wanted to doubt you, since you had a terrible sense of humor like that, but you didn't seem in the mood to joke around. Especially after he had legit witnessed you vomiting flowers into the sink.

"How did you get it?" he asked, curiosity sparked on how you contract such an odd condition. You smiled bitterly, staring blankly in front of you. Tears were welling up in your eyes vigorously once the cause crossed your mind again. You tried to stop them, but it was difficult. You were so drained that any effort to keep it together seemed to be useless by now. Trying not to choke on the knot forming in your throat, you said, "because of unrequited love."

That was the first time Heeseung had a different expression than shock. His brows furrowed in disbelief. Unrequited love? He didn't know why his mind took him there and he also didn't know why his mouth began to utter his thoughts, but he regretted it right after asking, "Do you love someone else but Jay?"

You wanted to scoff, you really did. You also wanted to punch him for even thinking that. But you couldn't really blame him, all he knew is that you were being distant towards Jay. Might have been because you fell in love with someone else. But you rendered that completely impossible to begin with.

"Don't be ridiculous," you simply stated, "how could I love someone else but Jay?" Heeseung knew that it was stupid of him to frame you like that, but he didn't understand how you could possibly develop a condition like that. "But I don't get it. Jay loves you." he said more to himself than to you directly.

"Apparently not." you said, bitterness glazing your voice. As stupid as it sounds, it gave you comfort that Heeseung was just as confused about it as you. You refrained from telling him because he might know something about Jay's feelings for you that you didn't. It might have not been all too surprising for him considering Jay had told him already that he was falling out of love with you. But you had never seen such genuine concern, fear and confusion on your friend's face, and it gave you hope that your relationship with Jay appeared actually as beautiful to others as you rendered it.

"Did he tell you he doesn't love you anymore? He never mentioned it before. This comes out of nowhere to me, since he seemed happy with his life and with you. Has he lied to me when he told me he is excited to see you again?" Heeseung started to ramble uncontrollably, as if his mind and his mouth were connected without a filter. Only the exhausted gaze in your eyes made him stop.

"Of course he hasn't. Otherwise, we would have broken up and I could try and fix my broken heart. But the way it is now is obviously not working. He treats me like nothing is wrong when in reality, everything is wrong right now." you began to overshare, but at this point you failed to care. Heeseung has seen way too much anyway and he was the one who knew most about Jay and your relationship since he is close to both of you. You had asked for his opinion whenever you had a more serious argument with Jay, you trusted him that much. And you began to think that it might have been easier talking to him from the beginning.

"Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you." Heeseung reasoned and you couldn't hold back the little chuckle escaping your lips.

"Yeah well, he obviously failed." you said, almost making it sound lighthearted, like a simple joke. You looked at Heeseung again, and sadly, he didn't find it as funny as you. Instead, he prompted another question.

"Isn't there any way to fix this? To heal you?" he sounded so sincere that it made you heart ache thinking about the fact that Heeseung was scared to lose you. Was scared that there was no way out for you. Little did he know, there wasn't, at least not for you. You still decided to tell him about the only other option left apart from dying, he would find out about it online anyway if he wanted.

"There is a surgery that could save me. The doctors would remove the flower blooming in my chest, but with its removal, I would lose every feeling and memory of Jay." you explained to him, and to your despair, he didn't seem to see a problem with that.

"Then why aren't you getting this surgery?" he pressed, wondering how you could hold memories dearer than your own life. Maybe it was because he wasn't in love at the moment, he wouldn't understand. And you decided not to snap at him about such tasteless words.

"Are you serious? I'm still in my right mind not to just throw away my feelings and memories of the most important person in my life. As if I could live with that decision." you argued, shaking your head in disbelief.

Heeseung wasn't as easily fazed by your explanation. He tried everything to help you survive. He understood that you held Jay dearly and that it wasn't an easy decision to make, but if that was the only option for you now, you really had to consider it.

"But you wouldn't even remember that decision, would you? I can't just let you choose death when there is the option to live instead." You sighed.

"And have Jay live with the consequences of that decision instead? He would remember everything and I would just cut him off like that. I'm not going to do that to him." you felt yourself getting angry, and Heeseung sensed a shift in your mood as well. It told him that you made up your mind and no matter how much he tried to argue with you, it wouldn't lead anywhere.

While he partly understood your point, it would end up the same if you died. Jay would be left with the knowledge that you chose death rather than forgetting him, that you died because of him. That is a guilt he would struggle with forever, Heeseung was sure of it. No matter how you decide to approach this, it would end up with Jay suffering and either you oblivious to it or dead. And while death wasn't an option for him, it certainly was for you.

Silence filled the room and you took that as a sign that Heeseung understood. You spared a glance at him. He looked seriously concerned for you. The way he bit his lip, you knew he was contemplating to ask another question, so you urged him to spit it out.

"How long has this been going on for?" he asked calmly, as if his adrenaline had stabilized again now that you had calmed down as well. You despised that question though, since it was embarrassing to admit. You looked down into your lap, fiddling with your fingers while considering if you should tell him one more lie. No, Y/N. No more lies, you told yourself.

"Three months." Heeseung almost choked on his saliva, and it triggered the itching in your chest. His eyes were blown wide once again. "Three months?!" he repeated as if to confirm. When you didn't budge, he searched the room for an explanation. "We saw each other like four times the past three months, what the hell?" he questioned in disbelief. You just shrugged.

"Guess I should have launched my acting career instead of studying psychology." you joked. "You really should have." Heeseung confirmed, jumping onto your joke but also coating it in enough sarcasm. You still felt a small smile spread on your face. At least you haven't lost your humor completely.

The lightheartedness in the air was cut when a sudden thought popped up in your mind. You looked at Heeseung with an urgency that scared him. The fact that you even went so far as to take his hands made panic rise all the more in his blood.

"You cannot tell Jay." you said firmly, letting Heeseung know that you were dead serious this time. He just looked at you in bewilderment. Letting go of your hands in his, he says, "Are you kidding me? Of course I am telling him. He is breaking your heart, hell, he is fucking killing you Y/N! We- I need to tell him!" he tried to justify, but you didn't bother how passionate he was being about it, you shook your head.

You felt the first tear escaping, the thick drop of saltiness running down your cheek dramatically. Heeseung looked at you desperately, and he couldn't help but fight tears as well. You brought your hand up to his cheek to comfort him, as if he was worse off than you. His lips started to tremble and a shaky breath escaped his lips. The emotions you experienced during your conversation with Heeseung felt like an absolute rollercoaster and you wanted it to stop.

"Please don't tell Jay. I'd rather live my last days pretending to be happy with him than being even more heartbroken by a break-up and his reaction. Let me pretend to be loved for a little longer, please." you choked out, completely sobbing at this point. You could see how your state completely broke Heeseung and without a second thought, he pulled you into a hug in hopes of providing just a little bit of comfort.

You uncontrollably sobbed into his chest, and surprisingly enough your coughs weren't threatening to show this time but decided to give you a break to cry. As if you haven't done that enough the past few days. The amount of ice you had to put under your eyes to decrease the puffiness was insane.

Even though you felt relieved that someone finally knew and there was one person less in front of which you had to pretend that you were fine, the way Heeseung tried to talk you out of basically killing yourself was an excruciating pain. You only dealt with that choice yourself and now that you voiced your arguments to someone for the first time, you didn't know how to deal with it.

Heeseung thought it was incredibly selfish of you to leave Jay in the dark of all this, and he needed to know Jay's opinion on it because he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that he didn't love you anymore. He wanted to confront him, to yell at him for how his behavior has made you feel, but he couldn't bring himself to do it after seeing you break down like this. He also related to your point. You were in enough pain as is, so you tried to avoid any additional struggle. Seeing how confident you were about your choice, he made his decision.

"Okay. I'm not going to tell him."

Heeseung really tried not to tell Jay. He really did. But the more days passed, the more his guilt pushed him to letting his best friend know what he did to you. He tried to squeeze information out of Jay, looking for any signs that Jay actually secretly knows what's going on with you, but he really didn't have a clue. Heeseung tried his best not to be suspicious and faked concern for the fact that you distanced yourself from Jay when he knew exactly why.

Heeseung checked up on you every single day after you let him in on your secret. One call a day was obligatory and he also visited your apartment every other day to help you clean up the blood and petals or try and distract you from the pain to the best of his ability. But the more time passed and the more he noticed your condition getting gradually worse, his patience vanished.

He shouldn't have stood in front of Jay's apartment right now. He shouldn't have raised his arm to press the doorbell. Yet something inside him urged him to do it regardless of his mind fighting it. When he heard Jay approaching the door, Heeseung panicked. No, he promised he wouldn't tell Jay. He had to come up with a different excuse on why he just decided to barge into Jay's apartment.

Certain that he had a fake story to tell, Jay opening the door made Heeseung's plan fly out the window. He just stood in front of Jay, completely zoned out as his mind was running laps. Jay gave him a concerned look.

"Hyung?" Jay asked in a surprised yet questionable tone.

"Can I come in?" was all Heeseung could come up with, and Jay moving to the side was the sign that Heeseung should step inside.

His mind was racing, he still fought the urge to tell Jay about Hanahaki. In fact, the moment he got home after learning about it for the first time from you, he did his own research. As you concluded, he would get all the information he needed anyway. Heeseung was hoping you had missed or left out a crucial detail about the disease. He tried to find a loophole, but he wasn't successful.

He only learned about the flower often being the loved one's favorite. The next time he was over and helped you clean your sink, he noticed that you were indeed choking up windflowers. It made his own chest ache, because just like you he tried to tell himself that the condition might be something else all along. But everything pointed to the fact that Jay didn't love you and was too ignorant to tell anyone.

The thought made Heeseung clench his fists until his knuckles turned white from the pressure. It made him angry that this whole situation was unresolved and while he somehow wasn't in the position to step in, he couldn't help himself.

So when Jay asked, "Is everything okay?" Heeseung already knew what to answer.

"Do you love Y/N?"

Jay was taken aback by Heeseung's bluntness. He had never questioned Jay's intentions, especially not with you. So why was he suddenly asking him such a private question?

"What?" was all Jay could answer in disbelief.

"Do. you love. Y/N." Heeseung repeated, this time slower as if Jay failed to hear the question correctly. He grew more impatient the more Jay wavered, but the latter was confused about Heeseung's behavior. He had never experienced his friend like that, storming into his apartment only to drop such a question.

"Of course I do. What is wrong with you?" Jay said in a slightly annoyed tone. If there was one thing he hated, it was people questioning him like that.

Jay was honest and straight-forward, he rendered that one of the most important character traits in people and the ones he was the most proud about. So it was his absolute pet peeve when people distrusted him. Especially those who have known him long enough, like Heeseung.

But Heeseung was sure that Jay had just lied to him. He was hiding something, but the urgency of the situation made Heeseung press once again.

"Are you sure?" he challenged and Jay grew visibly irritated at the persistence of his friend.

"Dude, seriously. What is your fucking problem? I love Y/N, and you know that." Jay spat at his friend, his patience on the line. But so was Heeseung's. The older boy just scoffed, as if mocking Jay. He couldn't help but wrap the next statement in the most venomous tone Heeseung had ever mustered.

"Yeah? Then why is she coughing up flowers because of you?"

All the anger that was present in Jay's face vanished once Heeseung finished his question. He was confused once again. He studied Heeseung's face, looking for any sign that he was drunk or high. They rarely drank and Heeseung didn't take any drugs, not even weed, but who knows what happened to him prior to this. Jay's friend was stone-cold sober though, and he could tell. Heeseung rarely got angry, but when he did, it was serious. But what he had just said to Jay didn't make sense at all.

"She is what?"

"Hanahaki, Jay. The disease where you cough up flowers because of unrequited love." Heeseung stated in a cold tone. He really expected Jay to know that he isn't in love with you anymore and decided not to tell anyone because he felt ashamed. But the fact that Jay was so confused caught Heeseung off guard too. Shouldn't you know when you love someone or not?

Apparently not. Jay couldn't believe his ears. You were choking on flowers? Because of him? Because he didn't love you? He stood there motionless, trying to decipher the information Heeseung had sprinkled on him.

Realization. Heeseung was right. But Jay had no idea. He had admired you ever since he laid eyes on you for the first time, and his crush only grew stronger after finding out how knowledgeable, funny and sincere you were. He was sure that he fell faster for you than you for him, and the giddy feeling inside him lasted for months on end.

But after one and a half years, they died down. Jay didn't think much of it at all, he just thought that the lovey-dovey phase of your relationship was over and it settled into a more comfortable one. Jay always thought that it's normal that you aren't as head over heels as you were on day one after a while. That there weren't that many firsts to share anymore. He thought it's normal that one matures and the feelings calm down a bit. That's what his father had told him as well.

And he definitely adored you to this day. You were such an important person to him, someone he could lean on and talk to about all his daily struggles. He still had a deep admiration for you. But it wasn't love.

And he didn't even realize. He concluded that being in love means settling after a while, it means feeling comfortable around and adoring a person, but it may not feel like the beginning of a relationship. He never had ill intentions, he wanted you in his life. He just never realized that the feelings he held for you weren't exactly love, even though he thought they were.

But your disease was painful evidence that it wasn't deep love anymore. And when this weight crashed down on him, he felt like he was pulled under water without any chance to breathe.

Jay had heard of Hanahaki before, but he wasn't sure if it was a real disease or a made up one. It's like those instances where you don't know if it was real or a dream. Now that he had proof that it was real, he got scared.

Heeseung's anger was gradually replaced by nervousness due to Jay's lack of a response. He could see Jay was contemplating something, but he had been quiet for quite a while now and it drove Heeseung up the wall. He just told his best friend that his significant other is dying because of him, yet there is no response.

Truth be told, Jay didn't know what to say. He felt guilt wash over him instantly, not even because of your disease, but because he mistook comfort and adoration for love. It's like he betrayed not only you but himself as well by thinking he loves you when in reality he wasn't. The fact that you caught a deadly disease because of it only made matters worse.

The moment Jay looked at Heeseung, the older one knew that Jay realized that he had fucked up. He had fucked up bad. The look on Jay's face told Heeseung once and for all that he had told only the truth. And it was breaking his heart even more, because Jay was oblivious to his own shift in feelings. Heeseung never had a deep-rooted relationship like yours, so he couldn't relate to the situation or judge if you notice when you fall out of love.

But nevertheless, he felt sorry. He was in the middle of a completely fucked up situation. You were coughing flowers because your boyfriend didn't love you, and the boyfriend in question didn't even know it until now. Heeseung was the one to break the news to Jay too, so he felt even worse for causing both of you more pain than necessary.

He started to regret talking to Jay at all. The look on his face was enough to tell Heeseung that he should turn back time to before he entered the younger one's apartment. He should have kept his mouth shut, but he just couldn't. Not if every day felt like your last to you. Jay deserved to know the truth, both about your condition and his feelings (or lack thereof) being the cause of that.

The emotions Jay felt were indescribable. He had never felt more culpable in his life. You were suffering, because of him. You were dying, because of him. Dying. No, that can't happen.

Jay had a look of desperation decorate his features when he suddenly asked "Is there nothing I can do? There must be a way to save Y/N."

Wow, the words came out more broken than he had expected. It was only when he heard himself choke that he noticed the tears welling up in his eyes. Jay rarely cried.

Heeseung hesitated, especially since knowing you had made your choice. But it was to no avail, Jay would find out one way or another. He sighed, his gaze dropping to his feet. "There is the possibility of a surgery. It's quite risky though, and if successful, she will not remember you. Like, at all."

"But- I don't want that." Jay blurted without thinking. It was incredibly selfish of him and he knew it, but he wanted to stay in your life no matter what. He wanted you to remember him too. You shared so many memories that he wouldn't want to take away from you, just because he was too stupid to love you. So this wasn't an option for him. Little did he know, you had the same opinion.

Heeseung scoffed in disbelief. You guys really were made for each other, he thought bitterly. "Well, she doesn't want that either. The other option is that you love her." But it was easier said than done. How do you purposefully fall in love with someone? If Jay could, he definitely would, and Heeseung knew that. You can't decide for your heart, that was the painful part.

"Heeseung, please. I mean it. What other options are there?"

"There are none, Jay." Heeseung retorted quickly, slightly annoyed that Jay really thought there were several options to begin with. The opportunity of getting a life-saving surgery should be gift enough to everyone involved. Jay realized that too.

"She has to get the surgery." He concluded. Heeseung rolled his eyes, but was dumbfounded when he saw Jay slipping inside his shoes and grabbing his keys.

"What are you doing?" He asked, hoping Jay wouldn't answer what he was about to.

"I'm going to Y/N." Heeseung wanted to facepalm.

"You think that's a good idea right now? After she obviously distanced herself from you?" He said as he grabbed Jay's arm forcefully, trying to make him reconsider his next steps. Jay was frustrated, to say the least.

"Heeseung, I don't know what to do, okay?! You basically told me that Y/N is dying, because of me! How am I supposed to react!" He exploded, obviously helpless. The room was drowned in despair and anger. Jay was angry, not at Heeseung for telling him, not at you for not telling him. He was angry at himself. How could he be so blind? He wanted to know all the details, but he was afraid the answers would shatter his heart even more. He wanted to see you, to apologize for being so stupid, to tell you it's going to be okay when it might not, but he didn't know if that was the right move.

Heeseung sighed. He knew that telling Jay would ultimately result in Jay wanting to see you immediately. He couldn't blame him. So he silently agreed to go over to your apartment.

'This is it', you thought. This would be your last coughing fit, your relief. You could finally be at peace, because the flower that was stuck in your throat was suffocating you. And while this wasn't the first time you felt this way, you hoped it would be your last. You were completely drained. No matter how much effort Heeseung put into making you feel better, there was no escaping reality.

You had already told Heeseung what he should tell Jay when you suddenly passed. A sudden heart attack sounded like the most plausible option. There were numerous people who just dropped dead on the spot, so it wouldn't be weird if the same happened to you, right?

Wrong. You were oblivious to the fact that Heeseung had told a different version to Jay already. That version being the truth. And when you heard the key turn in the lock and the door swinging open, your worst fear became reality. Because the only person who had a key to your apartment was your boyfriend.

You panicked, trying to collect your limbs so you could crawl to the door and lock yourself inside the bathroom. But you were too weak, not even the rush of adrenaline helping you to reach the door handle. Before you could even stretch out your arm to grab it, Jay was standing in the doorframe. You had never seen him so distressed, and you didn't need to catch a glimpse of Heeseung behind him to know that he had told Jay.

Fuck. You weren't ready for this conversation at all. You hoped you would die before Jay found out, and you cursed the universe for not letting you have that at least. No idea how to react, you smiled weakly.

"Hi, Jay."

The pain in his eyes was something you hoped you'd never have to see. And now you knew why. It totally wrecked you.

"Y/N..." he said, swallowing thickly. He internally hoped this was all a joke that Heeseung thought was incredibly funny when it wasn't. But laying eyes on your weak figure was a painful reminder what he had done to you without even knowing. Within the few weeks that he hadn't seen you, you had lost an insane amount of weight, looking like a corpse almost. Heeseung had prepared Jay for the worst, because he couldn't get you to gain weight even when forcing food down your esophagus. Due to the whole blood and sometimes vomit, you were constantly dehydrated, your skin looking as dry as your throat felt.

He dropped down on his knees, taking your cold face into his hands. You only realized then that you were already crying. And he was too.

"God, Y/N. I can't tell you how sorry I am." He choked out between sobs. But you didn't want his apologies. You wanted an explanation. Because seeing him like this made you not sad, but mainly angry. You expected this kind of reaction, but you found it unfair. He was the one who is responsible, and you still believed he knew but didn't tell you. Something that made your blood boil, because you felt betrayed by him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you said, voice sounding stronger and more accusing than you had expected. Jay's head dropped in shame.

"I didn't know myself. Please believe me. You're still one of the most important people in my life, I just-"

"You just don't love me anymore." you interrupted him bitterly.

He still wished that wasn't the truth. It made his head spin. But his mission was to save you.

Heeseung had already explained to him in the car that you were strictly against getting the surgery for several reasons, but Jay hoped he could change your mind in the end. It would hurt him, yes. It would hurt like hell. But he was willing to live with the pain if it meant saving you.

"Y/N, listen to me. You have to get the surgery." he said in the most desperate tone you had ever heard from him. Even though he was firmly holding your face in his hands, you managed to shake your head weakly. His shoulders dropped and he pressed once more how you need to save your own life.

"No. How could I do that, knowing that you will remember me and I won't know you anymore?" You tried to reason, but Jay's stern face couldn't crumble under such talk. He was determined to change your mind.

"I can live with it. I will cherish our memories knowing that you got a second chance at life." he tried not to sob while arguing but he couldn't keep his tears in as they freely ran down his cheek, mirroring your own.

"But I don't want to forget you." you confessed, sounding absolutely miserable. But Jay didn't care, and neither did you. Truth was, you were miserable. The blood stains on the floor and in the sink and the dried petals that you forgot to scrub off served as enough evidence.

"Y/N, please. You can't die on me like that. Please. Do it for me?"

"No offense, Jay. But you're not really in the position to ask something from me."

Damn, that hurt. The fact that you managed to say that with a slight chuckle despite the way you looked and felt right now blew your mind. You dreaded this conversation and you told yourself that if it had to take place, you had to stay strong. You knew your stance, and so did he.

"I know, I'm so sorry. But you need to give yourself another chance. If not for me, do it for yourself. Don't put my feelings first, I'm not worth it. Please." he practically begged, not knowing how he could convince you when he knew you always put others first. And he hated that trait about you just now. He wished that you could put yourself first, at least this one time.

You mustered a smile again. He knew what that meant.

"I love you, Jay."

He wanted to say these three words back so bad. But he knew they wouldn't reflect the truth. It would just be a blatant lie, and he didn't want to lie anymore. Neither knowingly nor unknowingly.

Your words hurt like bullets, and he realized that you had made your decision. No matter how hard he tried, you wouldn't budge. Jay had argued several times with you and he knew how strong-willed you were. Just like Heeseung told him beforehand, he could sense that you were settled.

He couldn't help but choke, pulling your small frame into his arms. Jay felt how skinny you became and how your hair was dry and breaking off. He wished it was anything but a disease where he is at fault. Any disease would be painful, but knowing that he was behind all this had his heart drop to his stomach.

"I know I'm not in the position to, but let me ask one more thing from you. Go to the hospital. Let them give you painkillers at least." he whispered into your hair.

Tired of arguing with him, you just whispered a small "Okay." back.

What you hoped would be the end turned out to just be the beginning. You kept your promise and let Jay drive you to the hospital the next day. The doctors were surprised at how late you went to see them and how advanced your disease had already gotten. The perplexed face of the doctor when you said that you don't want to get the surgery instantly made you insecure, and his gaze towards Jay made heat rise to your cheeks.

Jay visited you every day in the hospital. He promised he would check up on you now that he knows, that it's the least he could do for you. But it got hard sometimes. He really had to force himself to see you like this. To know he's the cause of your suffering. To know that every day could be your last.

At least the painkillers were helping you. Even if you initially regretted agreeing to Jay taking you to the hospital, you were thankful that it made things a bit easier. Well, on the physical pain part, at least. The fact that Jay came by every single day to see you and the look on his face made your stomach churn. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to leave, though. He insisted on staying by your side in a miserable attempt to make up for all the months he couldn't. You didn't dare bring up that it might be better for both of you to be separated now. Because deep down inside, the hopeless romantic in you still longed for him.

Initially, you were mad at him. You tried to hate him, to fall out of love with him. But after weeks of trying, you realized that you just couldn't. What your heart wanted was out of your control. And that's why you couldn't be mad at him, because what his heart wanted was also out of his control. The only thing you could possibly be mad for was his ignorance, that he didn't even suspect anything like this. The thing is, your body and mind were too weak to build up anymore anger. You felt quite empty.

It was like the lack of your emotions were the counterpart to the overflow of emotions Jay was confronted with. He tried his best to contain them, but on this particular day, it got too much for him. You were talking mindlessly about random things, your voice croaky and weak, and the topic suddenly shifted to some memories of your relationship. You tried to make it lighthearted, but it ached knowing it will never be like this again.

On one of your first dates, Jay took you on a little road trip through the city, stopping by different places to go shopping, grab something to eat or take in the scenery. At the end, you reached a park, the trees still decorated with lanterns from a recent festival. The whole evening felt like a romance movie, and you remember the day so precisely because it was when Jay finally caved in on his feelings and confessed just how much he likes you. Through small actions and faint words he had already mentioned it before, but at that moment, with your cheek in his hand, he poured his heart out to you for the first time. And so did you.

"Jay?" you called out so quietly that he almost didn't catch it.

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my cheek like in that moment. Please?" you whispered, and you swear you could see something break inside him. He looked at his hands as if he was contemplating whether to reach out or not. He fidgeted a bit and when you saw a tear fall, you knew you had overstepped the line.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I just can't." he said, instantly rising to his seat and leaving the room. You could only watch and were surprised that your heart could break even more than it already did.

Oh, and Jay regretted it. The next day, he was determined to apologize to you, to tell you that he will do anything you want from him, even if it is leaving. He felt terrible for leaving you like this, when he was the reason you were in this situation in the first place.

But the moment the elevator doors opened, a weird feeling overcame him. Something wasn't right.

And it turned out to be a justified hunch. He stepped into the corridor, on the way to your room, when a nurse suddenly appeared in front of him. The look in her eyes told him everything, yet she chose to verbalize it.

"Are you here for Y/L/N Y/N?" Jay nodded. The nurse sighed.

"I am incredibly sorry, but Y/N has passed away a few hours ago."

What kind of metaphor would do Jay's feelings at that moment justice? A spear to the heart? A bullet to the head? A fire burning up his entire body? A feeling of drowning?

He couldn't tell. And it didn't matter. What mattered is that he was too late. He wanted to make things right, even just a little bit, and he couldn't even do that. He had to calm himself in order to not explode in front of the nurse, to leave the walls untouched without holes from his punching, to leave the floor clean of his tears. All he could do was nod. And regret that his last time seeing you breathing, if just barely, ended like this.

The nurse asked him a few more questions on who to contact to inform them about your death. Jay absentmindedly muttered the names of your close family members and how she should tell them it was a heart attack, his mind everywhere but in the hospital right now. Everything was a blur. He didn't even notice the nurse in front of him disappearing after telling him he can go home.

The only thing that brought him back to reality was a tug at his sleeve. He turned his head, seeing another nurse on his side.

"Are you Park Jongseong?" she asked, concern written over her features. How long did Jay just stand there?

"Yes, I am." he said while clearing his throat, voice more stable than he expected.

"I am sorry for your loss. But Mrs. Y/L/N asked me to give this to you." She handed Jay an envelope with 'to Jay' written on its back. He thanked her while studying the envelope. You wrote him a letter?

Jay needed to take a moment to process everything. He sat down on a nearby chair, fiddling with the letter as if to confirm that it was indeed real and not part of his imagination. And the inside of it made him incredibly nervous. But also incredibly curious. He needed to know what you wanted to tell him.

Before he could overthink it, he opened the envelope and took out a sheet of paper. Even though it was shaky, he immediately recognized your handwriting. He wondered when you had written this, since your condition was terrible towards the end. How long had you planned this?

Smoothing out the piece of paper, he noticed the wrinkles on some parts. Tears. You had cried while writing this. It made his stomach flip. And he was once again scared to read the first line, to be confronted with everything again. But he forced himself to. It's your last wish, after all.

Dear Jay,

I hope you are doing okay. I know that when you receive this letter, I will be gone, but I hope it's bearable. I also know that letters aren't our thing, but here goes nothing I guess. Another first with you.

Jay, I wanted you to know once again that I lived the happiest years of my life by your side.

'So did I, Y/N.' he thought.

I could come clean in this letter, but there is nothing to come clean about, as even in the miserable state I'm in right now, I render our time together the best of my existence. I never felt as whole as when I was with you, and I want to remind you on that. Even if it didn't work out in the end, I regret nothing. You were my first on so many things, and I'm glad that, in a twisted stupid way, you are also my last.

Jay needed to pause. He couldn't swallow the knot in his throat, his breathing ragged and his eyes welling with tears. Why are you doing this to him? Yes, he deserved every bit of pain, but he didn't want it all to crash down on him. He forced himself to continue, anyway.

I am sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.

'No! You were too good for me. I wasn't good enough for you!'

But I hope that despite the pain you are feeling right now, you can move on and cherish the memories we created.

'How could I ever move on?'

I don't want me stopping you from being happy. Please Jay, be happy.

'How could I ever be happy again?'

I wish for you to find a partner that you can love as unconditionally as I was allowed to love you. That you can find the matching piece to your puzzle. That you can live your remaining life happily, with or without me on your mind. I want to become a positive memory for you. One you will look back to one day and think 'Yes, that was a beautiful time.'

Also, don't be too hard on yourself. I know that this isn't your fault.

'But it is completely my fault!'

We can't choose for our hearts, they choose for us. And yours chose different than mine, and that's okay. If you want to grief, grief. If you want to cry, cry. Do everything needed to overcome this initial sadness and to move on from it. I know you can do it. Or maybe, I'm asking you one more favor now: Promise me to do it. I know you always hated me putting others first, but you know how I am. I want you to be happy, first and foremost. So please try to be, keep your passion for music and fashion. Travel a lot and collect souvenirs. Do everything you planned on doing, even if it was planned with me. Don't let that stop yourself.

The letter is getting too long and philosophical now, so I'll stop here.

Thank you for the love and comfort you gave me over the years, I will never forget how you lightened up my life with your presence.

I love you, Jay. Maybe we'll meet again.

Until then,

Y/N

P.S.: Please play my favourite song on my funeral. You know which one.

The last sentences were almost impossible to read for him, as Jay's vision was blurred from all the tears. He began sobbing uncontrollably, not caring about any weird looks he was getting from other visitors or nurses. He tried to follow your guideline: If you want to cry, cry. Jay rarely cried, but now he needed to. He choked on his sobs as he was reading the letter over and over again, until it was imprinted in his mind.

And choking was what he hoped to experience after your death. He hoped he would develop the same condition, he so desperately waited for it. He wanted to know that after all, he did love you still. He wanted to make sure that your death was useless, and he wanted himself to suffer the same way you did.

But the cough never came. And that felt more like a punishment to him than a relief. Because now, he had to live with the fact that he killed you. That he really fell out of love with you, for whatever stupid reason. And he wasn't sure if he could keep the promise from your letter.

Masterlist

#enhypen #enhypen scenarios #jay #park jay #jay enhypen #park jongseong #jay scenarios #jay angst #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen scenario #heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen jay #jay oneshots

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lgbtqmanga · 9 months

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New Releases Aug. 22, 2023

After We Gazed at the Starry Sky by Bisco Kida

It all started with a job. When wheelchair-bound Subaru Miyazawa decides to visit the planetarium after finishing its brochure design, he unexpectedly bumps into Togo Awase, the photographer involved in the project. Although he'd admired his work, he never thought he'd see the man himself—or that Togo would go so far as to carry Subaru down the steps to view the starry night sky up close. Subaru could only hope they would meet again...

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! vol. 8 by Yuu Toyota

Four months into his transfer, Adachi is surprised to find that he and Kurosawa aren’t that far apart after all! Kurosawa travels to Nagasaki whenever he can, and the pair spend weekends together on the regular!

It’s almost as if they’re settling into life...like a married couple?! So when the two decide to get engaged, it seems like the most natural move of all!

But while Adachi and Kurosawa have overcome some huge obstacles to their love, the next challenge awaiting them might be the toughest yet: breaking the news of their engagement to their parents...

I Don't Know Which is Love vol. 1 by Oku Tamamushi

With high school graduation approaching, Mei Soraike tries to confess her love to her best friend for whom she had long harbored a secret crush…only for her hopes to be crushed. But a little heartbreak is fine—because she’ll absolutely, definitely, without a doubt get a girlfriend in college! And no sooner does Mei set her resolve than potential prospects start sidling up to her one by one…?!

Land of the Lustrous vol. 12 by Haruko Ichikawa

Phosphophyllite is on the war path, determined to make Kongō pray at all costs. The other gems attempt to protect their precious Sensei, but can they stop the vicious onslaught? Meanwhile, on the moon, Cairngorm demands an explanation from Aechmea…

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (novel) vol. 5 by Piero Karasu and Yuri Kisaragi

There’s one thing Anis can't go without if she wants to run a magical academy—magicite. Fortunately, an untamed region to the east is teeming with this vital resource, so she and Euphie decide to journey there on airbikes to stock up. Wait, doesn’t this sound like a honeymoon?!

Otherside Picnic (manga) vol. 6 by Iori Miyazawa, Eita Mizuno and Shirakaba

With the American marines who were stranded in the Otherside at Kisaragi Station safely rescued, Sorawo and Toriko turn their focus to enjoying the summer together at an island resort on Okinawa. The sight of Toriko in a bikini has Sorawo sweating for reasons besides the hot temperatures!

But fun in the sun turns deadly and dangerous when they stumble into the resort’s portal to the Otherside...

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- The Complete Manga Omnibus by Magica Quartet and Hanokage

With Madoka Kaname's sacrifice, the hopeless cycle that once bound every magical girl to a terrible fate was broken at last. Or was it...? All does not seem right with the world, and as Homura pulls at the loose threads of the girls' new reality, is it possible that an even darker destiny looms ahead? Revisit the complete manga adaptation of Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- in this deluxe omnibus edition!

The Ruthless Commander and his Reincarnated Warhorse by Sakashima and Nomoto Narita

A thirty-year-old Japanese male is teleported to Japan's warring-era. But instead of being reincarnated as a samurai or ninja, he is now a pony! Cute and spry, he is enjoying his carefree new life but all that changes when he runs into a human who is fighting off a bear attack! The pony dashes and rescues the man, and thus begins his new life...as a warhorse!

Sasaki and Miyano Second-Years (novel) vol. 2 by Shou Harusono and Kotoko Hachijo

Time for another peek into the details of Sasaki and Miyano’s lives as second-year students! Miyano's class is getting ready to go on a big field trip. Plus, there's plenty of excitement with Sasaki as White Day approaches. What other precious moments await these two?

Thousand Autumns: Qian Qiu (novel) vol. 2 by Meng Xi Shi and Me.Mimo

Shen Qiao is a devout Daoist priest who has spent his life honing his skills and spirit, leading his sect with martial talent, beauty beyond measure, and an earnest heart. His polar opposite, Yan Wushi, leads one of the most powerful demonic sects and is said to be unrivaled in his strength and cunning. Yan Wushi believes in the inherently selfish nature of all people—himself included—and that nobody is above committing dark deeds for their own benefit.

When a fight leaves Shen Qiao injured, blind, and with hazy memories, Yan Wushi takes in the defeated sect leader with a dark plan: test the limits of the man’s patience and faith in others to lure him onto the demonic path. Little does he know that he is about to meet the first immovable force of his life, and that two hearts can connect in unexpected ways. With the passing of a thousand autumns, who can stay eternal?

#new releases #novels #light novels #manga #queer manga #lgbt manga

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futuremrsdrcullen · 2 years

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Aren't We Just Terrified - Part Two

Part Two of the New Moon reader insert fic that I've been promising for FAR far too long.

Summery- The idea of facing mortal danger just to see a ghost of him almost sounded rational here.

I watched as Bella hugged her chest to keep herself whole. I stood by as she chased adrenaline for the smallest glimpse of Edward.

I didn’t feel perfect- standing there didn’t heal me. I let out a small humorless laugh and shook my head accepting that I couldn’t keep pretending that there was never a wound in the first place.

Word Count- 8,284

Warnings- This is New Moon, so it's a lot darker than the first. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ I'm Always in This Twilight READ THAT FIRST!! Depression, abandonment, misunderstandings, break ups, Age gaps because of vampires, angst! It's very angsty, but it gets better! I promise it has a very happy ending.

Notes from me- My name is Claire and this is my second love child. I have finally finished my version of New Moon and I could not be more excited for you guys to see it.

This is book 2 of probably 5 so stayed tuned for the rest of them.

I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Part one <3 Masterlist <3

Thank you for being here, I Love you <3

Aren't We Just Terrified - Part Two

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

JANUARY

Funny thing, Time is.

If I think about what day it is, it feels like time is flying past, just a blur of motion surrounding me.

But all of the things that happened before September, the good things, the things that killed me to think about, those all feel like a lifetime away.

Funny, that even though I wish it would all stop, time keeps moving on.

Dad and Bella were fighting in the kitchen. He finally had the courage to bring up Renee's idea. I knew she wouldn’t go. It probably would only make her worse anyhow.

“I have to get to school.” I heard her chair scrape across the kitchen floor as I descended the stairs. “I’ll make plans with Jessica… Maybe I won’t be home for dinner. We’ll go see a movie.” I doubted Jessica would even give her the time of day anymore.

Dad didn’t say anything else. I watched as Bella rushed out the front door. She didn’t say anything to me, if she even saw me standing there.

I sighed and went into the kitchen. Dad was still sitting at the table, face in his hands. My heart broke for him. Well, what was left of my heart that could break, broke for him then. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for him to watch her suffering day in, day out. I sat next to him in the chair that Bella had left open.

“I hate seeing her like this… It can't be normal.”

“None of this is normal.” I said quietly. He choked out a laugh.

“I worry about you too, you know?” He grabbed my hand, I shivered at his touch reflexively, but nodded. “You quit your job-”

“Technically I was fired…” I was handling the separation… better than Bella, at least. Dad was right, I had gotten fired, because I just stopped going. It was too painful to be there most days. My boss told me I could come back when I was ready. I didn’t think I ever would be.

“Because you never went in. You cut your hair, and now you barely leave the house. You don’t even write anymore.” I read in a magazine that a ‘post-breakup’ haircut gives some people clarity, or gives them back some kind of control of their own lives. It helped marginally, I felt more in control, I just hadn’t decided if I wanted to be or not. I didn’t write anymore, that was true, I just couldn't bring myself to ‘express myself’.

“I’m trying…”

“I know, I see that.” He squeezed my hand. “Both of you are doing better. I just wish I could make it better for you somehow.”

“If only it were that easy.” I found any excuse to not have to leave. Bella went to school, though her grades definitely took a hit, but she woke up everyday, got dressed, and went to school. I did not fare as well, but I wanted to try and now was as good a time as any to start anew.

Silently cursing that I’d had him pick up the few groceries we’d needed yesterday; I sighed and tried to think of what I could do. I could get dressed, I could leave the house, at least. That would ease his mind a bit. “I was thinking of going out today, anyway. I need a few new books to read and maybe a new notebook for writing. I’ll go to a couple stores.”

He smiled softly and nodded, “Good. That’s good. I’ve got to get to work, but you’ll call if you need anything?”

“Sure.”

He kissed my head “Love you kid.”

“You too Dad.” He shuffled out the front door.

I laid my forehead on the table in front of me, trying to brainstorm an actual idea of where I could go.

It took a few hours, but once I was in my car it felt like a force was pulling me to their old driveway. I had to chase the urge to find even the smallest trace of him. Something, anything , to prove that it was real at all. I spent more time there than in my own home last summer. Driving there felt like second nature.

I got lost in my thoughts on the drive over and before I knew it, I was pulling into their driveway. It took me a second to recognize the house. The grass has started to grow up around the edges of everything. Ivy was everywhere. It didn’t take long before nature moved to reclaim what had once belonged to it.

It was still beautiful, still took my breath away. Except now, it looked like no one had ever been here at all. There was no life left here. Just what remains after a bunch of dusty, old vampires left with no regard for the lives they destroyed in their wake.

Maybe I was still a little bitter, but there was this insistent screaming in the back of my head. What if this was it? What if this is all I get? Every woman who had loved my Dad left him, Bella’s first love ended the same way. All of my relationships ended in my own heartbreak. What if we were cursed and I wasn’t going to get anything more then what this was and it’s already over? How could I not be at least a little bitter? I wanted this to make me feel normal again.

I turned my car off and found the key to my house on the key chain. ‘ It’s yours- as long as you want it.’ I could hear the words in my head, but before now, I'd never been past this point. I hadn’t thought about going in.

I held the key to the house in my hand and squeezed it til I felt the teeth press against my palm. It didn’t hurt. I just held tightly on to it, like if I tried hard enough, I could crumble it to dust. Without the key, I would have no way of getting inside. Still it didn’t bend.

The day he left, he’d ask me to take care of his plants. I didn’t know why, considering I’d never successfully taken care of a plant in my life, nor had I ever seen a live plant in their house and yet, in a moment of pure heartbreak, he asked me to water his fucking plants. I didn’t. I think it was safe to assume those plants were very, very, dead by now.

This was only the second time I had made it to their house at all, and the first was just days after they left, but I never actually made it out of my car. I just sat there crying into my hands until the sun went down, until I was sure Dad and Bella were in bed, then I drove straight home and didn’t think to come back.

Until today.

Today, I got out of the car. My lip trembled, and tears welling in my eyes. But as I tried to blink them away; I wished I didn’t miss him so much. I wanted to be stronger.

I built up my courage like a fire in my chest. Each sharp, shaky breath moved me closer to the door. I put one foot on the porch and the whole thing froze over. I half expected him to swing the door open. I clenched my eyes close, but I could still picture it. Him swinging the door open, his golden eyes finding mine. I could feel his hand on my cheek, his lips on mine. Everything felt better, for just a moment.

When I opened my eyes, the door was still closed and everything still ached.

Another deep breath got me to the door and I got it unlocked and open on the exhale. As shaky as it was, it was my last solid breath before I fell to pieces again.

Everything was there. Absolutely everything. Besides the dust cloths, it looked the exact same. I flipped the light switch expecting nothing to happen, but the room still flooded with light. They had left everything behind here too. Nothing mattered enough for them to take it with them. The trash can I used to empty the dustpan after sweeping up was still in the middle of the room, now missing a trash bag.

Everything here had just been discarded so they could start over.

Including Bella and me.

I walked further into the room. I pulled the dust cover off of the closet chair, and fell into it. I didn’t notice that it was the chair, the same chair I'd fallen apart in when he’d first told me he was a vampire. I could see the dining room from here. My tea set from Rosalie and Emmett on the table.

It all felt hopeless, he still wasn’t here. I just wanted to feel him again. The chair was here, the teapot was here, but he wasn't. I had started to feel so comfortable here. I was in love with the idea of forever with them; with him.

The fact that all of this was still here, covered up, discarded…

Was all just bullshit.

I started really crying at some point. I noticed I wasn’t really breathing and all I could make were these horrible gasping sounds. Even here, a place I had once felt so safe, I couldn’t keep the demons away.

I didn’t make it past the living room.

By the time I could stand again, the sun had started to set.

I just drove back home.

I often dreamt of him.

My dreams were the only place I could still find happiness with him.

We would be watching Buffy, or sitting across from each other while I wrote and he did paper work. Domestic dreams that brought me comfort in a world of pain and chaos.

The dream I had after the first time I’d gone back to their house felt new and, like the rest of them, felt real. I hadn’t been hiking with him in months, it was too cold. When the snow finally started to melt and we headed up the mountain. It wasn’t raining and I was so in awe of him. We passed through patches of sunlight and I couldn’t help but watch the light dance along his skin.

We could have hiked for the usual hour, or many more. It all felt the same. I really only paid attention to his face. Once we reached the top, he plucked a lupine flower from the patch near the treeline and handed it to me. We sat on the ground, near the edge of the cliff and watched the water below. I played with the petals in my hand.

“I wish… I wish it didn’t hurt so much. When you’re gone.” I whispered to him.

His smile didn’t falter. “Why would I leave?” The question caught me off guard. I didn’t have any anwer. We were so happy. Everything was so right. Why would he leave? Why did I feel like there was a hole in my chest? I didn’t have to explain my confusion. “I’m right here, Cara. My heart will always be yours.”

He leaned in and I let him kiss me. I felt his cool touch on my cheek and leaned into it. I let his comfort wash over me. I pulled back just to look at him again. I smiled as his eyes met mine.

My voice never rose above a whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you, Y/n”

There was something beeping as he said my name. I blinked a few times and the dream faded. I was still in my room. It was raining and everything was gray and my alarm clock was going off. I could barely see the button through my tears. Once I got it off, reality set in.

Nothing was golden and soft like it had been. He had still left. He was still gone.

I’d grown numb to the pain in my chest, although I once thought I never would. I still laid there shaking and sobbing, but I’d always managed to keep the noise down. Dad would have run in at the first sign of me crying, like he did with Bella, but I didn’t want him to.

I needed to do this alone. It was better that way.

The only person who could really comfort me, never would again.

It took me a few weeks to pull back out of the darkness I had fallen back into.

Bella started spending most of her time down on the reservation. She was almost showing improvement. Some days she actually smiled again. Usually when she was talking about Jacob.

Dumped by one supernatural and jumped right into the arms of another.

Probably.

Though I guess I didn’t know for a fact that Jacob was a werewolf yet. There were whispers about the other boys around town. They’d all gone from regular boys to full grown men in a matter of days. First with Sam, then Jared, who I’d only heard of, but didn’t know personally, two others, names I didn’t recognize. It all started the same way.

“They must live at the gym”

“I want some of what they’re having.”

“Wow, how are they all so hot?”

That last one always felt icky. Considering most of them, besides Sam, were under-age. Even Sam was only 19, maybe 20 now. Do werewolves even age? Like the transformation into a vampire freezes your mental state. Edward would always be 17 and Emmett would always be 20. Did they age until they became werewolves? Then what?

It didn’t matter. I avoided them like the plague. I no longer had any interest in the supernatural. Dad had made reference to me joining Bella on her trips down there, I was friends with Sam and Leah once. I could go and try to catch up with them, but I always found a few excuses. He never pressed. Maybe Bella was ready to dive head first into werewolf territory, but I simply refused.

Then Bella smashed her head ‘hiking’ and had to get stitches; which felt like normal Bella stuff, but I still didn’t know how I felt about her monster replacement, especially now since she was doing dangerous things with him.

Now she was hiking with him while there were murderous ‘bears’- probably just the wolves- running around. If I had to guess, I’d say she was looking for the meadow Edward used to take her, but that was just a guess. On today's agenda though, the very daunting task of seeing a movie with friends, where one Mike Newton was not supposed to get the wrong idea.

Neither was Jake, who was 16 and flirted with her non-stop, and possibly a werewolf.

Bella really was a danger magnet.

And I was a hypocrite.

I had just spent literal hours climbing around the forest trying to find the place Carlisle took me. At least she had the possible werewolf to protect her. I was alone. And having no luck The ‘path’ was completely overgrown, not even a trace of it left.

I had to blame the dream for the recent influx of dangerous activity. I hadn’t thought of the cliff side since before they left. But now there was a voice in my head I couldn’t tune out, screaming that mabe, just maybe, I could find some trace of him there.

Though at this point, I figured I'd never find it.

Edward told Bella it would be as if they never existed and standing here, out of breath, alone in the woods I understood why. By the time we thought to check somewhere, Forks had already begun to reclaim it.

I walked for 15 minutes in a straight line before giving up and returned to their front porch. Between the rain, the brush, and the weeks I’d spent doing practically nothing, I couldn’t do it. I would come back the next day, and every day after that until I found it.

Or, I guess until the wolves ate me.

I did actually start writing again. Usually from my car in their driveway, or on the front porch. I really wanted to write from the top of the cliff, but I had to find it first.

And not the short stories of magical worlds like before. Just really existential poetry. I took a poetry class where I learned basically nothing. It didn’t make my poetry better, but I did, however, take one thing from it.

At one point, the guy teaching rolled up his sleeve and had a bunch of seemingly random words written on his arms. The words were just things he saw, like ‘Cow print shoes’ or ‘empty shampoo bottle’. He would then take these things and somehow turn it into some of the most beautiful poetry.

I was working with ‘ magic words ’ and ‘ small town gossip ’ while sitting on the edge of their porch. Twisting and turning those words, trying to find more meaning in them then there was; I tapped my pen against the wood beneath me and stared at the empty page, hoping something, anything would just magically come to me. Even if it was bad, it would be something .

After too many hours and a poem I only kinda half liked. I decided to call it a night. I wanted to believe finding the cliff would give me…I dunno, closure? No… Clarity, maybe? Or I hoped for at least some inspiration while I was there.

It took me a few solid tries to find the stupid cliff, but when I reached the top I felt like I could actually breathe. It was a breath of relief, only because finding it meant I didn’t have to hike anymore. It didn’t even match the dream. I had worked for months on end just for this disappointing conclusion. It was misty and cold and the flowers hadn’t bloomed yet.

And he wasn’t here. I knew he wouldn’t be, but I had hoped he would be up here, waiting for me to figure it out. I felt like I could scream, but I didn’t want the attention that that might bring and I no longer had it in me to cry the way I needed. I hardly had anything left at all.

I stood there, staring out at the open water, wishing he’d walk through the tree line. As angry as I was pretending to be, I desperately wanted this to come true. I wanted to yell at him and cry while he held me. I wanted him to apologize and promise to never do it again. I wanted to forgive him. Or I at least wanted the choice.

Bella had told me about her dances with danger when I pressed for answers about her head wound. She told me about the bar bikers, and the bikes her and Jake fixed. She even told me about her cliff diving intentions; which I tried to talk her out of it but she assured me it was mostly safe.

The idea of facing mortal danger just to see a ghost of him almost sounded rational here.

I watched as Bella hugged her chest to keep herself whole. I stood by as she chased adrenaline for the smallest glimpse of Edward.

I let myself fall apart yet again.

Bella was getting bad again. Jacob had cut her out of his life because he was turning into a werewolf, probably. No one could confirm that of course, but I’d started to hear the small small town gossip.

Dad and I had just started to clean up after dinner when Bella threw open the front door. She came into view and Dad started to question her.

“Where have you been?” He must have called the Stanleys, Bella had never been good at covering her tracks.

Wisely she stuck to the truth, I started on the dishes. “I was hiking.”

“What happened to going to Jessica’s?”

“I didn’t feel like Calculus today.”

Dad crossed his arms, “I thought I told you to stay out of the forest?” I knew he would say that, which is why I hadn’t told him I had started hiking as well.

Maybe I was also a danger mangent, and probably a hypocrite.

“Yeah I know, don’t worry. I won’t do it again.” her voice shook a little as she spoke which made both me and Dad look at her. She was a mess; She looked like she had seen a ghost, and not the kind she had been trying to see. There were leaves and twigs in her hair.

“What happened?” Dad demanded.

Her hesitation spoke volumes, “I saw the bear.” There was a fake calmness behind her already shaky voice. “It’s not a bear though- It’s some kind of wolf. And there are five of them. A big black one, and gray, and reddish-brown…” I snorted a laugh and quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

“Sorry. Wolves… in Forks, how strange.” I took a sip of my coffee and looked back at the sink.

Dad’s eyes were wide as he looked at me with bewilderment, before he crossed the room to her and grabbed the tops of her arms. “Are you okay?”

She nodded weakly. Her calm facade had gone right out the window. I crossed the room as well to show support, but I let Dad do the comforting.

“Tell me what happened.”

“They didn’t pay any attention to me. But after they were gone, I ran away and I fell down a lot.”

Dad let go of her shoulders and hugged her tightly instead. I was glad she was okay, but of course they didn’t go after her. She was friends with them.

Though I did wonder what they were after, if not her. Or why didn’t they just tell her it was them and save her the panic. Maybe they couldn’t talk as wolves and when they’d shifted back they were completely naked, then I guess I got it. I wondered how much of this story she was leaving out for Dad’s sake and I tried not to laugh again.

After a few moments Dad spoke again. “ Wolves?” Duh, Dad… He was completely unaware of all the supernatural in his small town. I was just surprised Bella hadn’t pieced it together already.

“What?”

“The ranger said the tracks were wrong for a bear- but wolves just don’t get that big…”

“These were huge .” I laughed again.

“How many did you say you saw?” he glared at me over her shoulder, I put my hands up and mouthed a sorry.

“Five” I didn’t know who that accounted for, but the numbers added up.

Dad shook his head, frowning with anxiety, before he put on his stern cop voice. “No more hiking.”

“No problem.” She promised.

Dad called the station to report the wolves. Bella sat down at the table and placed her forehead on the cool surface. I sat next to her, nudging her with my foot. “Of course it’s wolves, right?” I grinned at her, half expecting her to get it, but she just looked confused.

“I just hope they can catch them before they hurt anyone else.” She shuttered. She really didn’t know who the wolves were. I guess there was the possibility that she did know, and I was wrong, but that seemed highly implausible.

“Are you hungry? I made salmon patties.”

She shook her head. “Just tired.” She got up from the table and made for the stairs.

“Hey,” Dad caught her before she could get away. His voice sounded oddly suspicious. “Didn’t you say Jacob was gone for the day?”

“That’s what Billy said .” She seemed confused that he was in detective mode now, but I could tell he believed her.

“Huh.”

“Why?” She was clearly annoyed with his doubt, but to be fair, she did lie to him about where she was going today.

“Well, it's just when I went to pick up Harry, I saw Jacob out in front of the store down there with some of his friends. He looked strange, like he was upset about something. And… different. It’s like you can watch that kid growing! He gets bigger every time I see him.”

Yup, definitely werewolves. And he wasn’t being suspicious of her, he was being suspicious for her. Which was a nice change.

“Billy said Jake and his friends were going to Port Angeles to see some movies-”

I added, “They were probably just waiting for someone to meet them.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to defend them. I think, mostly, I just didn’t want dad to go down there and check it out.

“Oh” He seemed convinced and sat back down at the table, before going back to his fishing magazine. Bella checked the locks again before going upstairs. I felt my heart give out a little, as much as I couldn’t believe she didn’t know who the wolves were, I hated to see her so scared.

I finished the dishes as Dad went up to his room for the night. Bella’s bedroom light was off, but I could faint shuffling, like she was tossing and turning. There was no way she was going to get a goodnight sleep if she was this restless, so I knocked softly on her door.

“Uhm…” more shuffling “Yeah? Come in.”

I peeked into the room. Only her bedside light was on. “It’s just me. Still shaken up?”

She breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. “They were huge, Y/n. Like monsters from movies, huge.”

I held back a laugh, “We would know, right?” She cringed, clearly I was just humoring myself. “Look, let's get your mind off of it. We can go to Port Angeles, and make bad decisions. Ya know, ‘sisterly bonding’.” I put extra emphasis on the sisterly bonding part.

“What did you have in mind?” She gave me the same look Dad gives me when he knows I’m up to something.

I grinned, “Come on, Bells~ the worst decisions are never planned. I have a feeling we’ll know what it is when we see it.” I quirked an eyebrow up at her, still grinning. “You in?”

She only hesitated for a second.

“Hell yeah.”

Bella and I got dressed in some casual clothes and headed to Port Angeles. The drive was long and slow and I had no idea where we were going, but I knew we’d find something. Probably…

“Bella…” I tried to get her attention. “This is supposed to be fun. To take your mind off of all the crazy from today.”

“I know it’s just…” her grip didn’t loosen around her chest. “Do you remember last year, when James decided to track me?”

“Of course.” It’d been a nightmare. The first time I thought I’d lose her, though then I didn’t know what I was losing her to exactly.

“Well, there were three vampires in James’ coven. James was killed. Laurent went to Denali; he wanted to change, to be like them . That just leaves Victoria.” I’d hear them talk about her in passing. She didn’t seem like a threat, I wondered why Bella was bringing this up. “She was in love with James, they were mates. And now that he’s dead, she wants revenge.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of fucking course she does.” This supernatural stuff just never ends… “So what? She's back and you’re her revenge?”

“I think- at least that’s what Laurent said.”

I sharply turned to look at her, “When did you talk to him?”

“Focus on the road! Jeez…” I almost rolled my eyes again, but I did look back at the road. I hadn’t even swerved. “He was in the meadow. Jacob ditched me, so I went to find it myself and I found it. But Laurent was there looking for… them.” I held back a sigh. She still couldn’t even say their name. Not that I judged her, I couldn’t say his name either. “Apparently I caught him at a bad time. He was going to eat me-”

“Christ Bells”

“I know… I know. But apparently Victoria has way worse plans for me and he was ‘sparing me’ by just killing me then and there. Then the wolves showed up and he was scared of them, like he actually ran from them. And I ran the other way and I fell down a lot and I was certain he was gonna catch up to me, but he never did.”

“Of course it's wolves, and of course the vampires are still after you… This is exhausting, you know?”

She pulled her knees to her chest and nodded. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. I knew what it felt like. I knew the pain she was feeling because I felt it too.

Even after all this time she was hardly a person. She was just a shell of who she used to be, an 18 year old girl who was thrown into a world that was way too big for her, despite how stubborn she is.

And seeing her like this made me think about myself. What did I look like? If I carried the same pain, was I just a shell of who I was? I wanted to be past this; I did pretend that I was over it, maybe I looked a bit more like my old self.

I was still broken. She was too. Making bad and reckless decisions wouldn’t put us back together, but it sure did sound like fun.

Then I saw it. The open light blinked on a street of mostly dark stores. I pulled into the parking lot and into a spot close to the front door. I grinned deviously at Bella who’s wide eyes had locked on to the store in front of us.

“Tattoos? Y/n, really?” She almost seemed reluctant.

“You don’t have to get anything, but I am and I need you to hold my hand.” I started to see a faint smile.

“No, No… I’ll get one. I’m just surprised.” Her faint smile turned into genuine excitement. “Dad’s gonna kill you.”

I laughed and shrugged “Probably.”

We got out of the car and headed inside. The place was fairly decent, for a late night tattoo shop in Port Angeles. It was on the upper scale of things. They were having a slow night so they gladly fit us in, and I let Bella go first.

As spontaneous as this was, we both knew what we wanted fairly quickly. Bella got a really simple I.XVII.MMV, her first day at FHS. I knew there was more to it, but I didn’t press.

I got a bundle of lupine flowers tied together with a blue ribbon on my forearm. Like the flowers from the cliff; the same kind he’d handed to me in my dream. She didn't press either.

I held her hand while the tattoo artist worked even though she didn’t seem bothered by the pain. She’d watch him work for a second before turning away, never really letting her eyes linger. I guessed because of her aversion to blood. It didn’t take long at all and then it was my turn. I understood why Bella didn’t react to the pain, it didn’t feel like he was doing much of anything, just a numb kind of buzzing. I made Bella hold my hand anyway.

I wondered if it was an easy spot or if it just didn’t feel like much of anything because of all we’d been through. I decided I would test that theory in a few months with a few more tattoos.

A couple of hundred dollars and a large tip later, we had new tattoos and were on our way home. Unsurprisingly, I almost cried when I saw the finished product. I had grown up surrounded by these flowers. When I first saw them on the cliff, I didn’t even think twice about them. But now, these flowers meant the world to me.

For a moment, we felt normal. We laughed and planned the next tattoos we were going to get. When we got home my note was still by the door and I had no messages from dad. If he had stirred at all, he hadn’t noticed we’d snuck out.

I crumbled the note and threw it away. “It’s better to not leave any evidence.” We both giggled as we headed upstairs. His soft snoring only confirmed my suspicions. I stopped at my door and turned to her.

“Goodnight Bells.”

“Night… Hey, thanks for tonight. It was nice to feel like a normal 18 year old girl.”

“Anytime.” I smiled softly at her as she went into her room. I hoped she had a much easier time falling asleep after that.

Dad had just left for work by the time I heard Bella shuffling around in her room. Then she came stomping down the stairs. She was frantic as she put on her jacket and laced up her shoes.

“Bella? Are you alright?” I called from the couch, quickly using the closest thing as a bookmark, in this case the tv remote, and going to the doorway.

She pulled the door open and was clearly in a rush to go but she still called back to me. “Wolves! Of course it’s fucking werewolves!”

I couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted from my chest. I was kinda surprised it took her this long to figure it out, but I was happy to be on this side of the discovery this time.

Werewolf or not, Rest in Peace Jacob Black I guess.

Maybe an hour later, I’d just barely got further in my book when my phone rang. I wasn’t expecting it to be Bella, but I answered it right away, assuming she needed me to help her hide his body. She didn’t even sound mad, though.

“Can you meet us at La Push, just past First Beach?”

“Who is us, and why?”

“Me and Jake and… the others.” Wolves, I guessed. “It’s about Victoria… They could use our help.”

“Bella…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

“Please, Y/n. I need you.”

So I agreed. She gave me some directions that, if followed correctly, led me to some house on the reservation where I would meet with a bunch of werewolves to discuss a murdery vampire bitch. In the rain. Why?

Because Bella said she needed me and I’d do anything to help her.

Once I saw the house I knew It was the Young’s. I got there just as Bella and two boys were getting out of Bella's truck. Bella looked like she was going to pass out at any second but she lightened up a bit when she saw me. She hugged me when I got out of the car.

“Both of you? Sam just might kill Jake himself…” I didn’t know his name. He jumped out of the bed of Bella’s truck. Bella paled.

I put my hands up, “I wasn’t told anything. It’s not my fault it’s the perfect cliche...”

He rolled his eyes, but before I could say anything else Emily came out onto the porch. We had grown up distant friends. Dad would go fishing and the Clearwaters and I would go to Leah’s house and Emily was visiting all of the time. It had been years since I’d been out this way, at least since Dad decided I could be left to my own devices. I had heard the whispers of her ‘accident’ that left her nearly dead and brutally scarred. I’d never considered it could have been a wolf.

It hadn’t changed much about her at all. She was still stunningly gorgeous, despite how gruesome the town gossip had been. She smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat.

“Boys, play nice.” She smiled at me then her eyes drifted to Bella, “ Oh, who’s this?”

“You remember Y/n, and this is Bella Swan.” She nodded looking from me to Bella.

“Leave it to Jacob to find a way around.” She suddenly seemed a bit more unfriendly, though I didn’t know why. Of all of us, Emily had always been the nice one. “So, you’re the vampire girl.”

Instinctively I grabbed Bella’s hand “I guess we both are…” though I didn’t want to be. I was already very annoyed that I found myself surrounded by more supernaturals. I had hoped it was over.

“Yes. And you’re the wolf girl.” Everyone chuckled softly at Bella’s comeback. Emily smiled and nodded.

“I guess I am.” Her face was much warmer. “Though I have to say, I never expected anyone to tell you.” She turned to me, still smiling.

“No one told me. I figured it out a long time ago. I’m only here because Bella ask-”

“Did your bloodsucker tell you what we are?” one of the other boys interjected.

I tried very hard not to roll my eyes, but the irony got the best of me. I placed my hand on my forehead in an attempt to hide it. “Again, no. No one told me anything but it wasn’t hard to piece it together. You guys hate them and who hates Vampires more than Werewolves. Again, perfect cliche.”

“Where’s Sam?” Emily thankfully changed the subject.

“Bella, er, surprised Paul this morning.” One of the boys said. So, by deductive reasoning, neither of them were Paul, or obviously Sam or Jacob. I didn’t know who that left. I wondered how old the tall boy was. I thought he was around Jacobs age. How old do you have to be to get your wolfy powers? Maybe the Ateara boy, but I hadn’t heard anything about him.

I got distracted counting in my head. The rumors started with Sam then moved to Jared. Was Jared 16 yet? Then Paul and Embry then Jacob. So these boys must be Jared and Embry, probably, I just didn’t know who was who.

I almost missed them starting to drift inside. Bella held the door for me.

“Bella, are you hungry? Y/n? You guys can help yourselves.” I stood by the table next to Bella, who grabbed a muffin. It seemed to help calm her nerves if nothing else.

Emily tried to get the boys to save some for their brothers. I still debated who they were. Not that I was going to ask. And then Sam was there, lovingly calling for Emily, then kissing her like he’d never get the chance to again. I looked at the table, hoping my sadness didn’t show.

“Hey, none of that, I’m eating.”

“Then shut up and eat.” Sam suggested before returning his attention to Emily. The other boy sighed and took another bite of his muffin. Bella and I looked away. I’m sure Bella felt the same pain I did at that moment.

“Y/n” My head snapped back to Sam, who locked eyes with me. “Jake warned Paul about you too.”

“Oh, cool.” I nodded. I wondered what that meant. Why would he have to warn anyone about me ?

“Though I have to say, I was pretty surprised myself. I had no idea you were involved with the Cullens- before today that is.” I didn’t know what to say. I was confused by his implications. I just stared with my mouth open trying to find words. “If… If they hurt you at any point, either of you-” His eyes drifted to Bella.

“They didn’t.” I interrupted, before he could make Bella more uncomfortable. “I can promise, they never did anything they weren’t supposed to.” He almost laughed sarcastically. I wanted to keep going, but I wouldn’t in front of Emily.

My focus went back to Bella who had brightened up, now that Jacob had come inside. He smiled at Bella and grabbed two muffins before standing next to her and me, though he didn’t seem to notice me at all. I didn’t mind.

“Sorry about before.” he muttered under his breath. “How are you holding up?”

She assured him she was fine. It sounded convincing enough. She was probably much better knowing he was okay. I didn’t know what happened ‘before’, but I figured it was in part why Bella called me. Also when Paul came in the others settled a bet and they had mentioned that Bella ‘surprised Paul’. Jacob and Paul must have gotten into a fight about Bella and I knowing.

I smiled at myself, I’d gotten pretty good at context clues stuff. Maybe I should be a detective. It’d make dad happy and-

Sam spoke loudly, interrupting my thoughts. “Hey, guys.” All the noise stopped, everyone turned to face him. Even mine and Bella’s attention shifted to him. He must be their leader. Which is kind of confusing, considering Jacob’s father is the chief. Maybe it was deeper than that. He continued, “Jacob has information for us. We’re hoping Bella and Y/n can help with that.”

“ I know what the redhead wants.” his face got serious as he looked at the other boys who were here before. “That's what I was trying to tell you before. She is trying to avenge her mate- only it’s not the black-haired leech we killed. The cullens got her mate last year and she’s after Bella now.”

I swore under my breath. Everyone seemed to be a bit shocked by the news. I was shocked they managed to kill a vampire, and appeared to be unscathed. I figured Bella had been right, but it was still hard to hear the confirmation.

“She’s just a girl.”

“I didn't say it made sense. But that’s why the bloodsuckers been trying to get past us-”

“She's been trying to get to Forks…” I added, pulling their open mouth stares from Bella to me.

“Excellent.” someone said, a smile forming on his lips, “We’ve got bait. “

Jacob threw what looked like a can opener at the boy, and it probably would have hit him in the jaw, but he caught it with ease, because he’s a werewolf.

At the same time, Jacob and I both said “Bella’s not bait.” For once I sided with Jacob Black.

“You know what I mean,”

“So we’ll be changing our patterns,” Sam said, ignoring their squabble. “We’ll try leaving a few holes, and see if she falls for it. We’ll have to split up, and I don’t like that. But if she’s really after Bella, she probably wants to try to take advantage of our divided numbers.”

“Quil’s got to be close to joining us,” So I was right the first time. The boys had to be Jared and Embry and I guessed Jared was the one Jacob threw a can opener at.

They planned this like it was a battle strategy. It kinda was for them. Emily looked nervous about the plans, and to be fair, all of this was nerve racking. I place my arms around Bella’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

I think that’s why she wanted me here in the first place. I couldn’t contribute much other than moral support. The only vampires I had met were the Cullens. Rogue vampires were not my specialty. Unless you count my endless Buffy the Vampire Slayer knowledge, which had proven mostly useless in the face of real life vampires.

“What about Charlie?” Of course Bella was still worried about others before herself.

“March Madness is still going,” Jacob said. “I think Billy and Harry can manage to keep Charlie down here when he’s not at work.”

“And you?” Bella looked up at me. I started to object, to remind her that I would be fine. I wasn’t the one she was after.

Sam held up a hand and cut me off. “Wait, that’s what Jacob thinks is best, but you need to decide for yourselves…” He kept going but I stopped listening. This was for Bella. Of course it would be safer here for Bella, and probably even dad. I didn’t think I could say the same for myself. I had never been one to attract unwanted attention. The Cullens were here for months before they noticed me. Honestly, if the bitch wanted to come after me I’d just let her, but that was easy to say, since she didn’t want me, just Bella. I don’t think she would have looked twice at me.

I had nothing to worry about and everything to lose. If she got to Dad or Bella, it would destroy me.

Bella must have something really funny because the boys started laughing. I tried to pick up where the conversation had led as their laughter shook the walls. Emily and Bella shared a look that made me believe the boys were just being cocky. I could tell how worried Emily was for Sam, and Bella for Jacob.

I understood Embry and Jared's disgust.

Bella’s arms wrapped tightly around her chest again.

“The rest of the food is ready.” Emily announced. I pretended to munch on whatever Bella set in front of me and thanked Emily graciously. At times Sam would try to pull me aside. I think because we had once been friends he felt some obligation to protect me and I avoided him like the plague. Once Dad met us down there avoiding him was very easy.

I knew he just wanted to keep me, Bella, and Dad safe, but also a part of me screamed that this was just werewolves wanting to kill a vampire.

Either way, I couldn’t find it in me to care.

It was spring break in Forks again and Bella would usually wake up and go straight to La Push. Dad woke up, went to work, then went to La Push for March Madness.

I went ‘job hunting’. Dad was happy I was trying to function again. Bella was content with the knowledge I wasn’t at the house, if Victoria came there.

Truthfully, I usually went hiking. I always went to their house, even though I couldn’t go into the house. Anytime I tried I just fell apart, not once had I even made it past the living room.

I would just sit in my car in the driveway and listen to the rain or, if the weather was nice I’d sit on the porch and read. This particular day, like so many others, I hiked up the mountain. I sat on the edge letting my feet dangle over, and just watched the water bellow. Occasionally picking up a rock and counting the seconds before it hit the water. It was oddly therapeutic.

I pulled a pen from my shirt pocket and wrote ‘delayed splash’ on my arm.

Bella left early that morning to go to the beach with Jake. I wondered if today was the day they planned for cliff jumping, though I hoped they wouldn’t. There was an awful storm brewing in the distance and I could just barely see the clouds already coming this way. Not to mention Bella and I still had relatively fresh tattoos, which might be fine by now, but a few more days of healing couldn’t be a bad thing.

I also wanted to be out of the woods before the storm. Dad had messaged me not too long after I had made it out there. Harry Clearwater had a heart attack and they didn't think he would make it. The elders weren’t werewolves, and he wasn’t going to heal. I didn’t want to make everything worse by being lost in the woods during a storm.

I wanted to be there for Dad, but I would wait til he got home. I thought about Sue. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t even know where to begin. What do you say to someone who’d lost the love of their life. I knew that tonight, everyone would be feeling this loss.

Though I knew better, I hoped Harry would pull through. I hoped for Sue, Leah and Seth. For Dad too.

I took a deep cleansing breath as a few raindrops hit my face. I tried to catch them in my hands. When they picked up speed I headed back down. I was soaked to the bone by the time I got back to my car.

I received the text from my Dad that Harry was gone.

I let myself cry for some time.

I lost track of time sitting there. My hair had started to dry. I figured there was nothing I could do but be home when Dad got there. I wanted to be the moral support I knew he needed. I wondered if anyone had told Bella.

I went straight home the second I had cleared my eyes enough to see the road. I didn’t think Dad had made it home yet. Bella was there but her truck was still running in the driveway, both doors were wide open.

Then I saw the shiny black Mercedes sitting by the road and I completely forgot how to breathe. I barely managed to pull into my spot in the driveway before I was shaking too much to move. I kept blinking and staring at it, half expecting it to disappear, half hoping it wouldn’t.

Part Three <3

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