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neil-gaiman · 1 month

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Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

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whore-ibly-hot · 9 months

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Yan!Husbands Boss x Married! Reader

"Just Another Day at The Office."

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Dub-con, misogyny, name calling, nude photos, coercion, dubcon touching, fem genitalia for reader, mentions of divorce, general perversion, praise, clit play, cheating, readers husband is a scumbag.

(AN: Requested by an Anon early today, and it made me feral.)

Tick... tick... tick... the sound of an office clock rings in your ears, the only sound louder is your heart, pounding in your ribcage. The clock was awfully loud, though you had never noticed it before, when you were coming to bring your husband a warm, home-cooked meal. Maybe then you didn't notice it because you weren't fearing for your future.

Morgan & Cole, the investment firm your husband had been working for for years had been doing better than ever, and in turn, so had your husband. Promotions, expensive raises, and more had been sent his way. The house was even being repainted. All that begs the question, how had you found yourself in this situation.

It was a few nights ago when your husband informed you of the deal he had made with his boss. Morgan, the co-owner of the company, had his sights set on you, apparently. At a holiday party, he approached your husband with an offer, an offer to get a night with you in exchange for another fat raise. You had always known your husband hadn't been the most loving, but you had never imagined his greed could get to this. The worst part was how casual the deal he described was. Approaching a man at an office party and asking to sleep with his life like you were discussing sports frightened you. You had only met Morgan once or twice, and while he seemed charming, him doing something like this made you very much doubt he was in actuality.

You are snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of a door opening. Morgan steps out of his office, fidgeting with his smart-watch when he looks up and sees your meek form in the office lobby. His brow furrows.

"Oh, Mrs. Peters, I hadn't expected you to met me here. I had intended to come pick you up. How long have you been here?" He asks. You gulp. "Not long, just ten or so minutes." You say, trying to hold eye contact. He sighs and shakes his head. "Well, I wish you would have knocked on my office door, I feel awful having left you out here alone. Come, we can head back into my office and chat." His voice is so soothing, and in any other situation it would have been nice. You enter his office, and he closes the door behind him, before sitting at his desk. You take the chair in front of it.

"So, I assume your husband-" His teeth grind as he says this. "Is assume he has gone over what this is about." You nod. "He did... and... and I don't know if I can do this. I don't know you at all, and I'm a married woman." You whimper. Tears begin to slip down your cheeks, and Morgan sighs heavily. He comes around to lean back against the front of the desk, one hand supporting him while the other touches your cheek.

"I know this must be scary, I understand that. But I'm gonna solve both of those problems right now." He kneels down so your eyes meet his. "First, you worry you don't know me. Let me fix that. My name is Morgan Brant, I am thirty-two, and I live in a loft down on 37th. I like charcuterie and making my own organic lattes. I work out everyday, and enjoy walking through the city. I have both of my parents, Ruth and John, and they live in the city as well. Anything else you'd like to know?" You're too stunned and still panicked to respond, so you just shake your head. "Okay, okay. Good." He murmurs. A hand strokes your hair softly, as if trying to soothe a wild animal. To your shock, for a man who basically paid for a co-workers wife to prostitute herself, he does seem genuinely upset at your fear. His eyes are filled with a sorrow, and he chews his bottom lip nervously. He looks down for a moment.

"Mrs. Peters, your second concern, about being a married woman, is very respectable. I appreciate that you respect the sanctity of marriage so much. I think your loyalty and love for your husband is beautiful." He pauses, and gently grips your chin so you look him in the eyes. "But... I worry that love and loyalty may not be returned. Mrs. Peters, I need you to promise me you will listen to what I am about to tell you." You gulp, his suddenly serious, yet still soft, tone worries you.

He stands, walking to the back of his desk and opening a drawer, grabbing a manila envelope before sitting down at his chair again. He pushes the envelope towards you, folding his hand together and sitting up. He looks as those this odd exchange is yet another business deal, as he sits like a man prepared to do whatever it takes to seal a deal. A real businessman. Your hand trembles as it opens the envelope. Your heart stops.

Inside, your husband can be seen in several photos, from many different angles. Some looked ripped from security footage, others appear to be taken at a distance. However, they all contain the same subject. Your husband, locking lips with various women, every photo a different one. Your hand covers your mouth as you let out a choked sob. "N-no... I mean, he was never warm to me, b-but..." Everything comes crashing down at once. All those nights you waited up for him when he was 'working late', all those warm meals you brought him at work, only to be brushed off so he could talk to his secretary. It all made sense.

"I can't believe this..." You squeak. Morgan shakes his head. "You can believe it, I know you can. He's never loved you, I've seen how he treats you. Rejecting your meals, ignoring you at office parties and work functions. My dear, he is actively sitting at home and preparing to count the bonus he received for pimping you out to me." Morgan exclaims, his shoulders tightening. You put your head in your hands. "I'm... what am I going to do?! I'll divorce him, but I'll have nothing. I, oh god." You cry. Morgan once again moves to try and comfort you. His broad arms wrap around your shoulders.

"I know, I know this is scary. You've been through a lot tonight, your entire marriage even. But it's going to be okay." He cups your face. "I've been watching the two of you, you mostly." He hands you something. An empty tupperware container. "This is from his lunch yesterday. Every meal he rejected from you, I gladly took. I hadn't had the chance to eat something made so lovingly in a long time. They don't serve home-cooked meals like this at business conferences." He chuckles. "I saw how you would cling to him at those same parties he was ignoring you at, and wishing, praying you would cling to me like that." You look up, his confession is shocking. "Your husband... he is a greedy man, but he has pride. I knew I wouldn't even get a moment along with you unless there was something in it for him." He shakes his head. "Darling, I was just as disgusted as you were that he'd agree to that. As excited as I was, as I am for this moment with you, I was thanking whoever is out there that no other person at this office had tried something similar. I'm not some deviant, or criminal. I've had my fair share of sexual encounters, with prostitutes and escorts, but... I never felt anything. I need to feel something. I do with you." He says.

You shake your head. "You don't know me." You say. He shrugs. "You don't need to someone to love them, not at first. I hate to say this, but you didn't really know your husband, did you?" You sob again, and his sticks his hands out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry darling, that was out of line. I just needed to prove a point. What I'm saying is, I don't just want one night of pleasure with you. I want you to be mine. If you left him, you wouldn't be lost or desolate, you would have me. I could give your everything he has and more. Money, a penthouse, and my love. Real love. You deserve someone who wants to care for you the way you cared for that man-child. I can do that." You sniffle. "It's all so soon, and I don't... I'm scared." You say again. "I know. I hadn't wanted to do this here. I had wanted to show you the pictures and confess early on, I had plans to pick you up and take you somewhere nice to eat. I know the last thing you want right now is a fresh new relationship, I understand. But just maybe, the idea of revenge tempts you?" He suggests. You look up, and bite your lip. "What are you suggesting?" You ask.

"He thinks he's better than you, and that you could never leave him, because you have no one else, nothing else. Why else do you think he assumes their will be no repercussions for a night like this? He's so confident that you would never leave him, never even think about another man, that he truly believes you will return to him after he's pimped you out." Morgan moves closer. "I won't lie, I'll enjoy this, but don't just do it for me. Do it for yourself. Give in, leave him for a man who will worship you, who can give you more. Get back at him, and be with me." You shake your head. "You... you paid him to pimp me out to you like this though?" You exclaim. He nods "I had to show you how little he cared for you, same with the investigators I hired to get those photos." He nods in the direction of the envelope, now dabbled with your tears. "Besides, I've already signed his termination papers, I don't hire men like that here. He isn't getting shit for doing this to you." He assures.

In a moment of weakness, you break. The betrayal of the evening, the hurt and the fear, the anger, it's all too much. You sink to your knees, and nod. "Alright, let's do it. Just... be gentle, go slow." He nods. "Oh, my sweet. I'll do whatever you ask." He captures your lips, pressing your back against the front of his desk as he kneels beside you. His lips are soft, and taste of bourbon and mint. He smells like cologne, but a good kind, something smokey. Not like the tacky expensive stink of your husband, now ex-husbands favorite cologne. His tongue prods at your lips, and shyly you part them, allowing his tongue to slip in and suck against yours. He groans, and you both pull away breathlessly. While you take a breath, he immediately latches onto your neck, placing quick, feverish kisses along your collarbone. You gasp at the feeling, shrinking in on yourself. He grins.

"Does it really feel that good, that's quite a reaction." He chuckles. You blush and look to the side. "It's- It's been a while." He frowns and tilts his head. "How long is awhile, darling?" He whispers. "A few months, maybe eight or so." He shakes his head. "My poor girl, doing all that for him and he still wouldn't please you." He grips your waist, his lips on the shell of your ear. "To be fair though, even if he did, he couldn't make you finish. He would please himself, not you. But I won't, baby. Tonight, is all about you." You can feel a thick hardon pressing against your knee.

"Tell you what, darling. Let me make you feel good, real quick. Something nice and easy for my sensitive girl. Then, I'l take you out. I'm not just going to have sex with you without wineing and dineing you. Then, I'll take you back to my place, I-I'll send for your stuff tomorrow, and if you want, we can go for round two." He coos, looking up at you with admiration and hope. "Won't my husband try to resist my stuff being taken?" You ask. He shakes his head. "He's not your husband. If he calls, I'll hang up. He sold you out, and if he gets pissy, I've go the best lawyers in the country at my disposal. I'm not letting you spend one more night under a roof with that man. You aren't Mrs. Peters anymore, you're Mrs. Brant. Now... let Mr. Brant make you feel good." Hands cradle your thighs, slipping the skirt of your sensible slip dress up over your knees. A hand paws at your panties, cupping your cunt as he sighs. "So warm, poor little thing hasn't been touched in months. I've only kissed your neck a little, and your soaked. Is it because I said I love you? Does your little cunt respond well to just being admired and appreciated? Oh, my darling." He slips your panties aside just a little, not wanting to ruin your outfit for dinner later. Fingers part your lips as a long digit strokes up, from your entrance to your clit. A finger prods the entrance, and you gulp at the throbbing heat you feel.

"Gentle, slow please." You murmur. He nods, placing a gentle kiss on your neck before slipping in his digit. His long, calloused fingers rub your neglected walls in all the right ways. "A-ah, Morgan..." You pant. "Good?" He asks. You nod, breathless already. He thrusts it in and out gently, before asking to add another digit. When you nod, he adds another, while his free hand circles your clit with his middle finger. Perhaps its from typing everyday, day in and day out, but he is skilled. Even when your husband has slept with you, you had never felt like this. A coil forms in your stomach as you pant and whimper.

"M-morgan." You moan. "Please, I need to-" You're cut off by him sharply curling his fingers, as they hit a spongy spot deep inside you. "Oh, god. Yes." You moan again. "Cum for me, darling, please. I want to hear you." Morgan's tone is suddenly more desperate ethan you had heard it all night. He's needy, begging to know that he is pleasing you in the way he so desires. "Say my name, would you? I just want to please you, I need to know it feels good." He begs. "Morgan, I'm gonna cum, shit-" Your walls begin to pulse, juices coating his fingers. As you moan, finishing your high, he kisses you feverishly, desperate for closeness.

When you pull away, panting as you come down from your orgasm, he licks your juices off his hands with a squelching noise, putting your panties back into place. He helps you to your feet, and hands your your purse. "Ready for dinner?" He asks. Tired and very hungry, you nod. "Just one more thing, and you don't have to do anything, I've dealt with this myself plenty but-" He looks down, the tent in his pants is still very prominent.

"May I handle that before we go out?"

#yandere #yandere oc #tw.yandere #yandere fanfiction #yandere content #tw.dark content #x reader #yandere boy #tw.cheating #tw.dubcon #tw.angst #yandere boss #yandere ceo #oc Morgan #fem reader

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greatooglymooglyyy · 2 months

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My Tears Ricochet (Matthew Sturniolo)

contains: verbal argument, cheating allegations, crying, breakup, no happy ending, 1.5k words

a/n: honestly i'm sorry for this one. ouch. i said it alr but im not doing a part 2 for this one b/c i don't wanna lmao, the song is how writing this made me feel lol, requested by @nicksmainbitch and i took parts of an anon request

“We need to talk.”

I look down and study the message for maybe the hundredth time since Matt sent it an hour ago. Taking a deep steading breath, I kill my car engine and finally open the door. I’ve been sitting in his driveway for ten minutes now and it’s getting pathetic but I couldn’t help it. There’s nothing I hate more than a cryptic message, especially from Matt.

I use my key to let myself in the house, kicking off my shoes at the entrance, and pause when I notice how quiet it seems. Either Nick and Chris aren’t here or something is very wrong but my gut is leaning towards both. I pull out my phone to check their location but my heart drops when I realize all three of them aren’t showing up on Find My Friends.

Okay. It’s fine. Probably just a glitch. It has to be. I take the stairs two at a time and rush into Matt’s room, finding him with his head down at his desk.

“Matt?” I say quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder that he immediately jerks away from like I’ve burned him.

He lifts his head, spinning the chair around my way, and the look he gives me is like a stab to the heart. Because in all the years I’ve known Matt, in all the years I’ve loved him, he’s never looked at me like he’s looking at me now. Like he can see right through me. Like I’m no one at all to him.

“How long?” He asks calmly, his voice like a brewing storm. “Just tell me that. How long have I been a fucking idiot for?”

I stare back at him silently for a minute, caught between confusion and indignation. “What are you talking about?”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head before he tilts it up to the ceiling. “Listen. Tell me the truth. If you tell me the truth, I can try…” He stops and clears his throat like the words have jammed there. “I love you enough to try to get over it. But, if you lie-”

“What the fuck are you accusing me of, Matthew?” I snap, cutting him off. I feel the anger rising in my chest and blink away the hot tears that are beginning to gather. If Matt and I had one thing going for us, it was trust. We’ve never touched each other’s phones, never questioned stories. We just believed in our bond. But I can feel that trust starting to crumble around us and I don’t know what to do.

Matt grabs his phone from the desk and thrusts it into my hands. “Here. Your side piece must have gotten tired of waiting.”

I look down and skim the drama page he has pulled up, my jaw going slack. Someone has been sending in “proof” that I’ve been cheating on him. There are text messages with time stamps and they’ve even included pictures of me sleeping.

I look back at Matt and find him watching my reaction with his eyes low. “These are obviously fake-” I start but Matt stands up and walks past me to his closet.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. Until I saw the pictures. Go ahead and tell me that’s not your tattoo.” He’s breathing heavily now and I can tell he’s trying not to cry. “One more chance. Tell me the truth. Did you fuck him?”

“Matt. Please.” I walk over to him and spin him around to face me, feeling his body tense against my touch. “You know me better than this.”

I step closer and draw him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist, and he lets me. He buries his head in my hair and breaks down. Deep body wracking sobs. So I just hold him, not knowing what to do or say. I can’t prove I didn’t send a message and I have no idea where those pictures came from or how to show him they must be old. So I’m stuck.

When he finally calms down, he pulls away from me and walks back to the desk. He drops down and slouches, defeated. “Oh my god.” His face is contorted with pain and I’m not sure if his expression or words make me sicker. “I thought you were the one.”

I stand there helpless for a minute, tears streaming down my face before I finally speak. “I can’t make you believe me. You gotta do that on your own.”

When he says nothing, I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and gather up my belongings. Before I turn to leave, I yank his house key off my chain and place it on his desk without meeting his eyes. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, I want to fall to my knees and cry but I push down the feeling and swing the door open.

I wait for him to say something, anything when I leave. I wait for it all the way down the stairs. I’m still expecting it when I reach my car, and I pause and listen for him to chase after me, to fight.

But he doesn’t so I drive home, drop into my bed and cry. And when he still doesn’t the next day or the next, I force myself to get up and figure out a new normal.

********************

It’s unusually cold for Los Angeles the night he comes, two months later. When I hear his voice spill through the callbox, it takes everything I have not to let my knees buckle. I’ve spent every day of the last couple of months trying to avoid hearing it at all costs.

He speaks again, begging to be let in and I buzz him up without thinking. I run to throw on some sweatpants and then stand with my arms crossed, trying to prepare myself to see his face.

It doesn’t work. Matt walks through the door like a wrecking ball and I’m caught in his wake. He stands awkwardly near the door, shifting from foot to foot.

“What are you doing here, Matt?” My voice sounds exhausted even to me. All the work I’ve done putting myself back together and here he comes toppling me over again.

“I just…” He trails off and begins pacing. “It was your ex. That fucking loser. The picture was old and he-”

“I know.”

“-fucking edited those texts. The motherfucker hit me up trying to-” He pauses finally registering what I said. “What do you mean you know?”

“He called me a few days after we broke up trying to get back together and I finally remembered the picture,” I say, not letting myself look away like I’m dying to.

Matt freezes at this, staring at me in disbelief, before he pulls out a chair from the table and flops down. “But… why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“How did you expect me to do that? Go to Apple headquarters and ask them to unblock me? Email Laura?” I seethe.

“You could've come over. You should have! It changes everything-”

“It changed nothing for me. I already knew I didn’t fucking cheat on you.” My voice cracks slightly but I shake my head. If my mom taught me one thing, it’s to never cry over a boy to his face.

Matt says my name so softly I almost don’t hear it and I cut my eyes back to his. “What do you want me to do? I will do whatever you need to fix this.”

I huff out a humorless laugh at how much I wanted those words and how empty they sound now. “You don’t get to do this to me.”

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go.” He says and I believe him. I don’t think he’d even hesitate.

“I can’t.” Matt stands and advances quickly toward me but I stop him with a hand on his chest. “But, it doesn’t matter. I don’t trust you.”

He winces, clenching his jaw. "I thought you fucking cheated on me! I thought you were throwing everything away.”

“So you threw it away first.”

He raises his voice now, anger and conviction mixing in his tone. “No! I thought all of that and I was still going to stay. That’s how much I wanted you. That’s how much I love you.”

“Then that’s the difference between me and you.” I breathe out a shaky breath, stepping closer to him. “I don’t think that’s love at all.”

His breathing stutters as he moves backward, studying my face. “So that’s it?”

I force myself to shrug. “I think it’s been it. Since the day I walked out of your house crying and you let me.”

He nods again slowly, whispering a quiet "I'm sorry", before turning and heading for the exit. But before he leaves, Matt pauses looking over his shoulder. “Do you think we got this right somewhere in the multiverse?”

I smile weakly, blinking back my tears. “God, I hope so.”

He returns my smile with a sad one of his own before he opens the door and steps out of my apartment for the last time.

When the door clicks shut, I hold my breath and count to five until I’m sure he’s far enough away. Then I let go, dropping to my knees and finally letting myself fall apart.

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literaryavenger · 2 months

Note

So I read somewhere that if the word ‘Sputnik’ is said to Bucky it knocks him out. Like it was a way for HYDRA to temporarily incapacitate him until they could control him better if he got out of hand. I’d love to see if you could write about how the reader and the team would deal with this situation. Maybe incorporate the satellite, as we know how much Bucky loves space. 💙✨ Maybe an established relationship? Again don’t need to do this, but I thought you’d appreciate a little help to get out of this writers block :)

Sputnik

Summary: Bucky's fascinacion with Space gives the team an interesting, emotional week.

Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Romanoff!Reader, Platonic!Bucky Barnes x Various!Avengers

Warnings: Language. Established relationship. Mentions of Bucky's past and trauma. So much angst, but tons of fluff too. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 6.4K. This one got away from me, lol.

A/N: Okay, so I heard about this too and did some research and found out it is a thing that the Red Skull uses against Bucky in one of the many universes of the comics, but it can only be used once. What I couldn’t find is how to wake him up, so that part is made up by me lol. Anyway, I hope this satisfies you, Anon, and to everyone that’s sent me requests already, I promise I plan on working on all of them, even if it takes me a little time. But keep ‘em coming! Also, I put a lot of MCU references and lines, so have fun finding them all, lol.

Masterlist

Life isn’t always fair.

That’s something most people can agree on. But it’s especially never been fair for one Bucky Barnes.

Bucky has been an Avenger for years now, and sometimes he still feels like he’s made little to no progress. Other times even he can’t deny how far he’s come.

Like right now, he’s sitting on the couch with you, his girlfriend, sitting next to him with your legs over his as he strokes your thigh absentmindedly while he’s engrossed in a conversation with Peter about astrology.

That’s something that Bucky has always found interesting, and the young genius has been filling Bucky in on everything he’s missed on the subject since the 40s.

Most of the Avengers are away on missions and the rest of the team that’s at the Compound (Tony, Steve, Peter, Wanda, Sam, Natasha, Bucky and you) are all hanging out in the common room, the fading colors of the sundown coming through the window making for a nice setting.

Tony, Steve and Sam are talking about Formula One, Peter and Bucky are in their own little nerd world and you are talking with Natasha and Wanda about the latest tv show you’ve all been binging together.

Your attention is brought on Bucky when he taps on your leg gently to signal you to get them off of him so he can get up, never breaking his conversation with Peter.

“What’s a satellite?” Bucky asks with furrowed eyebrows as he gets up from the couch.

“It’s an artificial body placed in orbit around the earth, or moon or another planet, in order to collect information or for communication.” Peter explains like the cute little geek he is while Bucky goes to the kitchen to get another beer, still concentrating on their conversation.

“You know,” Tony interjects, the whole team’s attention now on their exchange. “The first artificial Earth satellite launched in 1957, it was called Sputnik and it was-”

“Bucky?” You interrupt Tony in the middle of his fun fact when you see your boyfriend freezing as he’s about to sit on the couch where he was a minute ago.

He doesn’t say anything but you can see his eyes rolling back into his head and then he falls to the ground unconscious.

“Bucky!” You yell as you kneel beside him, everyone else rushing to his side, just as worried as you.

You grab him by his shoulders and shake him a little, but the man doesn’t move a muscle. You look around at the team, but everyone is equally as clueless about what’s happening as you are.

“Should we try slapping him?” Sam offers, earning a glare from both you and Steve and a slap on the back of his head by Natasha.

You look back at Bucky, but you can’t think of anything to do to help him, your mind completely blank. You feel a hand on your shoulder but you pay it no mind, your eyes focused on Bucky.

“We could try the book…” Steve’s voice is quiet but to your ears those words feel like a scream and your eyes snap up to his just to find him already looking at you.

You know what book he’s talking about, of course you know. The Winter Soldier’s red book, the one Bucky gave you to keep safe because he trusts you with his life.

You’re the only one that has access to it, but you’ve never even opened it because Bucky trusted you not to unless it was necessary. He chose not to destroy it for this exact reason, in case something inexplicable happened to him.

He himself has never opened the book, so it stands to reason that there are a lot of things he doesn’t know about the Winter Soldier’s programming.

You promised him you’d keep it safe and that’s what you’ve done so far, but you also promised yourself you’d never open it and see the horrors even Bucky doesn’t know they did to him. You certainly never thought it would be necessary, that’s why you agreed to it.

But right now, as much as you hate to admit it, it’s your best option.

You leave Bucky in Steve’s care and go to your and Bucky’s room. You go into the closet and remove the hardwood plank in the far corner and reach into it to take out a small safe.

It’s Stark Technology, even Bucky wouldn’t be able to get into it, if he even knew it was there. But he doesn’t, he was very insistent on you being the only person that knew the book’s hiding place.

You scan your thumbprint, then your retina and lastly say the voice command ‘Jamie’ and the light turns green. The safe opens and you reach into it, moving away the files about yourself you recovered from the Red Room after you and Natasha escaped, then the Hydra file Natasha found on Bucky and some other documents you have there before spotting the red leather at the bottom of the safe. You pull it out and hesitate before sighing.

This is necessary.

That’s what you keep telling yourself over and over as you open it and start looking through the pages for anything about Bucky passing out.

Thankfully it doesn’t take long for you to find it, and you’re careful to put everything away the way it was before going back to Bucky.

While you were looking for an explanation, Steve and Sam moved Bucky to the medbay where Tony hooked up some machines to him to make sure he was still healthy, even if he’s unconscious.

You enter the room and hesitate before walking up to the bed. You can tell everyone’s worried, most likely because even the shuffle of bringing him here didn’t wake him up.

“Please tell me nobody slapped him.” you say quietly, half joking and half actually worried someone tried to slap him awake. When Steve shakes his head no, you let out a relieved breath and cross your arms in front of your chest. “I think I know what happened.”

“You do? What is it?” Steve asks hopefully, although the tone in your voice doesn’t prompt anything good.

“Apparently, Hydra planted a failsafe in Bucky’s subconscious.” Everyone’s attention is on you, and you look at everything but Bucky. “It was made in case the Winter Soldier rebelled and they needed a quick way to shut him down.”

“I don’t get it, why didn’t Shuri take it out with his trigger words?” Sam asks with a frown.

“She didn’t know about it.” You answer simply. “Bucky didn’t even know about it…”

“If she didn’t know it existed, she didn’t know to look for it…” Tony elaborates and Sam nods.

“Does it say what the word is?” Steve asks you.

“The word is ‘Sputnik’.” You say while looking at Tony with a tight-lipped smile. You know it’s not his fault, he obviously didn’t do it on purpose and you know he understands you don’t blame him, and neither would Bucky. “Good news is, the failsafe can only be used once.” Everyone relaxes a little, at least there’s the bright side that this won’t ever happen again.

“And the bad news is…?” Natasha prompts while raising her eyebrow, making everyone tense again. You sigh, damn her for knowing you so well.

“Since it’s never been used, there’s no saying what will happen to him, how long it’ll last or how to wake him up…” You trail off, looking down at your feet while biting your lip before finishing your sentence. “If he even wakes up.”

You hear Wanda gasp at your words and the room goes silent. You don’t have the courage of looking anybody in the eye at the moment, so you just keep looking down.

“What do you mean, if he even wakes up?” Peter is the one that asks the question, his voice quiet and a little unsteady.

“It’s Hydra we’re talking about, I doubt they cared about the consequences their actions would bring on Bucky’s psyche…” You say bitterly, wishing you had any Hydra agent at hand so you could snap their neck. “That trigger word could’ve done anything to him.”

“T-there has to be something else, maybe you missed something.” Steve mutters and it takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. You know this is coming from a good place, he’s worried for his best friend, but it’s still annoying that he’s doubting you.

“All it says in the book is that it’s supposed to knock him out long enough to provide an opportunity to move him somewhere where he can’t do any damage or even put him back into Cryo if necessary.” You recall word for word what you read in the book, making it clear that there’s nothing else to be done. “All we can do is wait it out…”

You glance at Bucky and something inside you snaps. You know you can’t look at his still, angelic face any longer or you’ll lose it, so you turn around and walk out of the room, leaving everybody perplexed at the wake of your actions.

“Wait!” Steve says from behind you, but you don’t turn around until you’re at the elevators.

“We can keep watch on him one at a time until he wakes up.” That’s all you say while entering the elevator, giving him no chance to say anything back.

He understands this is a lot for you, so he decides not to push it. Instead he sighs and turns around, walking back to the rest of the team to tell them your, admittedly simple, plan.

Day 1

Steve volunteers to be the first one to watch over Bucky, hoping that he’ll wake up within a day and then everything will go back to normal.

“Hey, Buck.” He says quietly as he sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed.

“This is weird…” He says more to himself while studying Bucky’s face. “Should I talk to you? What should I even say to you? I don’t know, man…”

Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “You’ve known me my whole life. My entire, overextended life… Is there really anything you don’t know about me yet? Well, maybe…”

Steve knows there’s something he hasn’t told Bucky. It’s something he hasn’t told anyone, really. But he needs to get it off his chest, so he takes a deep breath and decides to go for it.

“It’s hard, Buck… This whole hero thing.” He says quietly while looking at his lap. “I got into this life to help people, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, but… I never thought it’d be this hard.”

Steve plays with his fingers as he talks. He knows Bucky probably can’t hear him, he can’t even see him at the moment, but he still feels guilty about what he’s saying.

“Remember during the war, how we used to think about going home after it was all over and find a nice gal, settle down, have a family…” Steve can’t help but smile at the memory of all the times they spent in bars between fights with the Howling Commandos, just fantasizing about what their lives would be like after the war was over. “I know what I have with Natasha is real, and I love her, and you got pretty lucky too.” He smirks at Bucky while thinking about his relationship with you.

“But this isn’t really the life we imagined, is it?” His smile falls. He can’t help but feel like saying these things out loud make him look selfish. But who better to understand him than his best friend, who went through something very similar? So he keeps going.

“This job, man… People depend on us to keep them safe, and that’s a lot of responsibility on its own, but being Captain America…” Steve scoffs, just the title he was given all those years ago now carries a weight he can’t escape. “It’s exhausting.”

Steve finally looks up at Bucky, half expecting him to be looking at him with an irritated expression, but Bucky’s still unconscious, his face still and peaceful, almost as if he’s merely sleeping.

“I try to be perfect all the time, but, outside this team, no one wants me to be myself… They want me to be the version of myself that they like. The version that serves them better.” Steve leans in, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes focused on Bucky’s face. “But I’ve always known I could be myself with you. ‘That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to run away from a fight’, right?”

Steve laughs. That’s how Bucky described him. Even after the serum, that’s how Bucky always saw him.

“That’s me… You’ve always seen me for who I was, not who you needed me to be…” He takes Bucky’s hand in his. “Even when I had nothing, I had you… And I know what you’d tell me if you were awake,”

Steve chuckles, knowing his stubborn best friend would insist Steve would be fine even without him. “I have the Avengers, I found myself a family, I’ll be okay…” He pauses thinking about the team, but then he gets to you and his smile falls again. “But her.”

He knows he doesn’t have to say anything more. If Bucky were awake, he would immediately understand Steve’s talking about you. “For her it’s different.” Steve says quietly. Everybody knows how much Bucky means to you. “You’re everything to her, Bucky.”

Day 2

Bucky still hasn’t woken up, but you can’t bring yourself to watch over him and Natasha can see it on your face when Steve suggested you’d be the next one on Bucky watch, so she offers to go instead of you like the good big sister she is.

“Hi, Barnes.” She says when she sits down on the same chair Steve spent the day on yesterday. “I think we both know I’m only here for your little doll.” Natasha teases with a small smirk before she gets more serious.

“She can’t face this yet…” Natasha says quietly, thinking about your face just moments ago. “She doesn’t believe she’s as strong as we both know she is.”

Natasha knows you haven’t slept much, the darkening circles under your eyes give you away.

“But I get it,” she sighs “you mean so much to her.” She’s never seen you as happy as you are since you started dating Bucky, and she knows you’d do anything to protect that. Hell, Natasha herself would do anything to protect something as pure as your relationship with Bucky.

“Our whole lives, all she wanted was what she has with you now.” Natasha smiles sadly at Bucky. “And now that she’s found it, it’s hard for her to face reality and admit to herself that she might lose it…”

Natasha sighs and shakes her head, thinking about everything organizations like Hydra and the Red Room took from all of them, and how they’re still managing to hurt them even after all these years.

“You know,” She says after a moment of silence “I’ve never been homesick. Because there was no place I belonged to.”

She knows Bucky felt the same way for the longest time, and she wants to give him the same hope she had. “And then I got this, this job… This family. And you’re part of that family too, Bucky.”

She leans in and scans Bucky’s face, looking for any signs that he might be conscious, but she finds nothing.

“None of us are ready to lose that. To lose you.” She tries to drive home the point by taking his hand. “You have a family again, a family that cares for you.”

“And you can’t do this to her… You know you can’t.” She adds after another moment of silence. “All our lives, she’s been looking for a home… You are her home, Bucky.”

Day 3

“Hey, man.” Sam sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed.

“I know, I know, I’m probably the last person you want here…” Sam chuckles. “But that’s too damn bad for you, because I’m gonna be here anyway.”

Sam looks at Bucky, it feels kind of weird for him to see him without the scowl that’s usually directed at him. “Oh, how I wish I could know what’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours…” Sam says with a small grin.

“If you were awake you’d be glaring at me. Is it weird that I kind of miss it?” He wonders out loud. “Two days without your annoying staring problem is two days too long…”

Sam chuckles again. He knows Bucky would be threatening his life at this point if he were awake. Not that he’d ever follow through with his threats, though. Sam sighs.

“I know you don’t want me getting all sappy on you, but… I never did tell you why I tease you so much, did I?” Sam says quietly as he sits back on his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “You’ve asked me repeatedly why, but you don’t really expect an answer when you do…”

A lot of the conversations between them end with Bucky asking Sam why he’s such a pain in his ass while Sam, and anyone else witnessing the exchange for that matter, just laugh. Even you.

“But here I am, giving you one anyway.” Sam says with a grin. At this point he’s almost hoping that if he annoys Bucky enough, he’ll wake up just to kick his ass.

“You know how they say ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’? Well, I know how little love you truly believe you deserve.” Sam has never said these things out loud, especially not to Bucky because he knows that wouldn’t end up well for anybody. But now he feels like he has to.

“Thing is…” Sam says quietly, taking the rare moment where Bucky is not rolling his eyes or glaring at him to be honest. “You deserve so much more than you care to admit, Bucky.”

He looks out the window for a moment before looking back at Bucky.

“And I’m gonna mess with you, and make fun of you, and tease you like friends do.” He says defiantly, almost challenging Bucky to stop him. “Because, whether you like it or not, I am your friend.”

Sam grins at Bucky, wishing he was awake just so Sam could see Bucky’s face as he annoys him. “You have people that care about you, Bucky. You have a whole team that does.”

Sam says sincerely with an easy smile, but then he sighs. He knows, if Bucky could reply, he wouldn’t want to believe what Sam’s saying. Ever the stubborn one, that man.

“Look Bucky, I know you believe you’re hard to love…” Sam says quietly, thinking about his next words carefully with you in mind. “But she loves you like it’s breathing, man.”

Day 4

“Good morning, Bucky.” Wanda says as she enters Bucky’s room in the medbay. “How are you feeling?”

She sits down and sighs. “Yeah, I know, I could easily just look into your mind and see for myself, like Tony has been bugging me to do since all this started, but…” She pauses and smiles softly at Bucky. “I made you a promise.”

Bucky didn’t trust Wanda when he first met her. He knew she had ties to Hydra, he knew she could control his mind and he had enough of that for a lifetime.

“I’ve never entered one of our friend’s minds on principle, but I know how important it was to you that I willingly promised you outright.” She says softly while remembering the look on his face when she seeked him out to relieve his worries. “It didn’t take a mind reader to see the weight being lifted off your shoulders when I actually said the words…”

After that Bucky seemed less guarded around her, they even had some conversations about their experiences with Hydra, and Bucky came to understand where Wanda was coming from.

“And I get it, you’ve had no control over your own mind for the longest time, you don’t want anyone else in there.” Wanda says quietly “You trust me not to, and I’d never betray that trust.”

She’s proud that she was able to gain Bucky’s trust, and she’d never do anything to lose that.

“You and I both know what it’s like to have nothing,” She sits back on her chair, her eyes on the window. “and we both value trust above all else, having had no one to trust for the longest time.”

“After I got these… These powers…” She looked at the red energy coming out her fingers while they played with it. “I knew people saw me differently. I knew they feared me…”

Her Sokovian accent comes out more as she gets emotional, her eyes leaving her hand as she looks back at Bucky. “And Hydra conditioned you to expect people to fear you, too.” She says sadly. “But we can’t control other people’s fears. Only our own.”

That’s a lesson that took her a while to learn, but it’s an important one for both of them.

“We’re not monsters.” She says with conviction, like she’s trying to convince him more than just remind him, before adding. “We are all born so beautiful… The greatest tragedy is being convinced we’re not.”

Wanda smiles, that’s another lesson that was hard to learn, but luckily for them they had someone to help them believe it.

“You know who taught us that, who helped us really believe it…” Wanda chuckles softly, thinking about how you went above and beyond for both her and Bucky. Even before you started dating him, you wanted to make him see himself the way you saw, and still see him.

“She believes wholeheartedly that you’re beautiful. I don’t need to use my powers to see the way her eyes, her face, her whole soul lights up when she looks at you…” Wanda feels like he needs to remind Bucky what he has. If he’s fighting, he needs to know what he’s fighting for. “You’re her hope, and her peace… You’re her whole world, Bucky.”

Day 5

“Hello, Mr. Barnes, sir.” Peter says shyly as he hesitantly sits down on the chair, almost expecting Bucky to look at him and tell him not to do that because Bucky always insists Peter call him by his nickname like everybody, but Peter never does.

“I’m sorry, I know you hate it when I do that.” Peter scratches the back of his neck nervously. “You always say ‘just because I have a few decades on you, it doesn’t mean you have to call me sir’.”

Peter chuckles. “I know that, but I can’t help it… It’s not because you’re older,” Peter quickly reassures him. “It’s because I respect you. I admire you, really…” Peter blushes a little at the admission, but after all Bucky is a war hero and a role model.

“Everything you went through, even before Hydra…” He trails off, glancing at Bucky with a pained expression before continuing. “It made you stronger. You’ve always been able to help people, even without being a supersoldier.”

Peter remembers the conversations he had with Bucky, after the man got used to the 16-year-old’s enthusiasm and energy, where Peter’s curiosity and genuine interest of what he had to say brought them hours of Bucky recalling what it was like to live in the 40s and through a war.

“You had a duty back then… To protect your country, your family and your friends… It was a responsibility, albeit a terrible one at that.” Peter says admiringly, recalling how shocked he had been when Bucky told him he got drafted and didn’t enlist like it says in his exhibit at the Smithsonian. “But you know what it’s like, to do what you have to do because it’s the right thing…”

“I know you look at me and see a younger version of Mr. Rogers… Young and small and in need of help…” Peter says after a moment of silence, chuckling at the similarities he felt he shared with the pre-serum version of Steve before Peter got his powers. “And I get it, I spent my whole life like that… And then I got this opportunity.”

Peter looks at his hands, knowing what he can do with them alone is extraordinary. But he didn’t feel like he deserved it when it first happened.

“It was an accident. A fluke, a mistake…” He said quietly, words he’d never said out loud but he’s said to himself countless times. “But it gave me a chance to help people.” He says, now very proud of the opportunity he’s been given.

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t… And then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” He says while smiling at the memory of telling Tony that when he first recruited him. “And I know fighting is the right thing to do, but it’s also a lot for me to take on…” His voice gets quieter.

“And it took me a while to get the hang of it. I still struggle with it sometimes…” He admits sheepishly.

“But, ‘just because you took longer than others, doesn't mean you failed.’” He says before smiling at Bucky. “Remember that, kid.’” he says imitating Bucky’s deep voice with a chuckle.

“You told me that, sir. And I always remember that.” He says, proud of himself. “I’m doing my best, and that’s what matters…” His smile falters when he then sees you pass Bucky’s medbay room, like you do a few times a day even if you still can’t bring yourself to enter it.

“She’s doing her best too, Mr. Barnes.” Peter says quietly, looking worriedly at you. “To keep herself together, to not break down… To not lose hope.”

Peter looks back at Bucky and leans in, like he’s telling him a secret. “But I can tell it’s getting harder. She can’t sleep, or eat, she can’t stop thinking about you but she can’t bear to see you like this…”

Peter almost hoped that telling him this would be enough to make Bucky wake up, but he understands that it’s more complicated than just willpower. Peter sighs and leans back in his chair, his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he looks at Bucky. “You have to come back to her, Bucky.”

Day 6

You almost shove Tony into Bucky’s room. Everybody else is busy, most of the team being out on missions, and you still can’t bring yourself to see him.

“Hey, Terminator, how’s the coma going?” You groan loudly enough for him to hear while yelling ‘Tony!’ from outside and he chuckles. “Kidding, kidding…”

Tony reluctantly sits down on the chair next to Bucky’s bed. It’s not like he hates him, they have slowly developed a relationship. It’s not quite enough to call it a true friendship, but it’s enough for them to get along when they’re in a group setting, they just don’t spend any time just the two of them.

“Fine, let’s level, Barnes.” Tony says with a sigh after several minutes of silence. “I know we’ve had a rocky relationship from the start, but you have to see where I’m coming from.”

Tony thinks back at what happened in Siberia. He feels guilty about it now, but in the moment he was in the eye of the tornado. He couldn’t see a way out.

“Seeing you do those things on camera… It did something to me. And then that’s all I could see, your hand around my mom’s throat…” He trails off, swallowing hard as the memory comes rushing back. “But that wasn’t your fault.” He concedes after another moment of silence.

“You know how they say that villains deserve to have their stories told from their own point of view?” He asks rhetorically, knowing Bucky can’t answer. “I never believed that. I thought it was just an excuse for bad people to justify their actions… A ‘you don’t know what drove me here, so you can’t judge my actions, as bad as they may seem to you’ type of thing.”

He glances down before looking back at Bucky with a small smile. “And then I met you. And I tried to kill you…” He chuckles awkwardly, then sighs. “But I’m glad I didn’t succeed. I’d never been able to get to know you, to understand your side of things… You’re a pretty badass dude.”

Tony smiles at Bucky. Even he has to admit that Bucky has made so much progress. He’s opened up more than anyone would’ve expected, he cares about the team, he laughs and jokes around with everybody. He’s not as guarded as he used to be, he’s truly a part of their evergrowing, eccentric family.

“I know I should’ve told you this a long time ago. It’s always been kind of implied, but…” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t blame you for what happened to my parents. Not anymore.”

He pauses, he’s never actually said the words out loud, but right now he needs to.

“But I will blame you if you leave her like this…” He says playfully before adding more seriously. “She needs you, Bucky. More than you know, maybe even more than you need her.”

He’s never actually called him by his name, but he knows this is important and doesn’t find it in himself to come up with some funny nickname.

“Everybody wants a happy ending, and you’re hers.” He adds after another second. “And I know, part of the journey is the end, but… It’s not time for your end yet. Don’t leave her like this.”

Day 7

You can’t put it off any longer.

The team is out on various missions, you’re the only one in the compound along with a still unconscious Bucky. You take a deep, shaky breath and enter his room.

For a moment you stand in the doorway, tempted to run out as far and fast as you can. But you need to do this.

You walk to his bedside and bite your lip as you look at his peaceful face. Steve was right, he looks like he’s just sleeping. But you know better.

“Hi, baby…” You say quietly as you run your fingers through his hair softly. “I know, I’m sorry I haven’t… I haven’t been here.”

You feel guilty that you haven’t been taking care of him like you should. “But seeing you like this… It just hurts so bad.” You know it’s selfish. He’s the one that you should be caring for, but all you can preoccupy yourself with is your own feelings. “I want to be strong for you and I’m sorry I can’t…”

You sit down on the chair next to his bed, gently taking his flesh hand in yours, and it’s as warm as it’s always been. For a few moments you do nothing more than just look at him, the beeping of the machines becoming background noise. You almost hope he’ll wake up out of sheer willpower, but you know it won’t happen.

“I need you to wake up, Bucky. Please…” You say quietly, almost pleading with him as tears start to come to your eyes, but you try your best to hold them back. “I need to see your smile, and your beautiful blue eyes, even if they are rolling in annoyance at some stupid pun I made.”

You chuckle at the thought of all those times that he rolled his eyes at you when you made bad puns and dad jokes, only to laugh a second later.

Not even because he found them funny, but because of the look you’d give him. Like you were doing everything you could not to laugh, because to you those silly jokes were the funniest thing ever, and he loved how much joy they brought you.

And that was nothing compared to the way your eyes would light up when he’d laugh, like your greatest accomplishment in life was bringing him joy, even when both of you were entirely aware that it’s not the jokes that he enjoys.

It’s you.

“I need to hear your voice and feel your touch… You’re everything to me, baby… Everything I need, everything I love…” You pause and bite your lip.

Love. That’s a word you two haven’t said yet. You feel it, you show it, you both know it. But you don’t say it.

Is this the best moment to say it for the first time? Probably not, but, with some hesitation, you say it anyway.

“You are love. When I think of love, when I hear it, when I say it… It’s you, just you, filling my head.” You reach out to caress his cheek. “It’s just you. I love you, Bucky. I’m sorry I’m telling you like this, and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… But I need you to wake up so I can tell you. I need you to hear it, I… I need you, Bucky.” Your tears start to fall without you even noticing.

“I can’t lose you… I’m not ready… No one ever is, but I can’t…” Your voice breaks and you try to stifle a sob but fail miserably. “I can’t do this without you, Jamie... Just please wake up...”

You wrap your arm around Bucky's, your other hand holding onto his like it's the only thing keeping him, and you, alive. Like you almost expect to hear the monitors flatlining if you were to let go.

So you don't, you lay your head on his arm and allow yourself to break for the first time all week and your voice becomes a whisper. “Please…”

Day 8

Somehow you managed to fall asleep, the first time you’ve slept in a week, still holding onto Bucky’s arm.

When you wake up the next morning there’s a few moments where you forget everything that happened. You try to get up from the bed, but feel a weight on your stomach and when you look down you see Bucky’s arm holding onto you.

Suddenly everything that happened in the past week comes rushing back and, at the same time, you realize you’re no longer in the medbay but instead you’re laying on the bed of yours and Bucky’s shared bedroom.

Confused as to how you ended up here and still a little sleepy, you look up with a frown to see Bucky already looking down at you with a goofy grin.

“Bucky!” You all but yell while throwing yourself at him, pushing him onto his back and straddling him. You hug him tightly as he chuckles at your more than enthusiastic reaction.

You feel his arms wrapping around you as he hugs you back. You want to look at him, but part of you is terrified that if you were to let go he'd disappear. You'd wake up and realize this was just a dream and Bucky is still unconscious.

“Doll,” That simple word, his deep voice was all you needed to confirm this is indeed real and he's awake “you're kind of crushing me here, sweetheart.” Bucky teases you playfully, but he doesn't mean it and you both know it.

Even though you are clinging to him like a koala bear, it doesn't bother him in the slightest. He just wants you to look at him.

You reluctantly pull away from Bucky’s neck just enough to look into his eyes. He brings his hand up to stroke your cheek softly and you instinctively lean into his touch.

You close your eyes for a second before they snap open again as you realize there’s something you need to tell him.

“I love you.” You take his face in your hands. “I love you so fucking much. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I ju-”

Bucky interrupts what he’s sure it’s gonna be a long rant that ends with you unnecessarily apologizing a bunch of times by placing his hands on yours on his face and squeezing them softly, bringing you back to the present.

“I know, doll.” he says simply and you frown a little.

Sure, you’ve both always known you had deep feelings for each other, but he seems pretty sure when you have never actually said the words.

Bucky can see the wheels turning in your head and, chuckling, he decides to solve the mystery for you. “I heard you. I could hear everything while I was unconscious.”

“You could?” you ask, blushing a little now that you know he heard you breaking down. You’re glad he now knows the depth of your feelings for him, but it’s still a little embarrassing.

“I could,” he says with a smirk. “It's gonna make for a lot of interesting conversations with the team.”

You can’t help but laugh, you’re not sure what the rest of the team talked to him about, but if they were all as emotional as you then Bucky’s gonna have a field day discussing all of that with equally embarrassed Avengers.

Suddenly, Bucky brings your face down to his and kisses you. You make no attempt to resist and actually whine a little when he pulls away, which makes him chuckle at your antics.

“I love you too, baby.” He says softly while stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re everything to me. My best friend, the love of my life, my very reason to live.”

You feel your tears starting to gather again but, even if this time they’re of joy, you still don’t let them fall.

Before you can say anything though, the door of our room slams open and you can barely understand what’s happening before Steve, Wanda, Peter, Natasha, Sam and Tony throw themselves on the bed, crushing you while they all yell at the same time, the chorus of joy being along the lines of ‘Bucky’s alive’.

Bucky’s arms around you tighten while he tries to protect you from the team’s attack as best as he can while the two of you laugh at your friend’s antics.

You may have had the worst week of your life, but it’s over now. And while you’re looking forward to having some time alone with Bucky, right now you’re happy to be squished under a pile of shouting Avengers.

This just feels right. As weird as your life, and your family is, you wouldn’t want it any other way.

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ponderingmoonlight · 28 days

Note

Hi! I just love your levi fics so much!

For a request I was hoping for something like this -

Levi & reader had grown up together along with Isabel and farlan, when the group gets sent off onto their fateful mission levi thinks reader died alongside with Isabel and farlan. (Angst)

Only to discover years later that reader was alive and actually doing very well for themselves, well known and a strong fighter. Just a very cute reunion fic maybe? Maybe romance 👀 thanks! <3

🦅- Anon

this was an emotional rollercoaster I'm still crying babe but here you go, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <3

Levi thinking he lost his sun forever only to find you again after years

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Word Count: 3,3k

Synopsis: It's been 1869 days since you were killed by the abnormal titan Isabel and Farlan lost their lives to as well, 1869 days of missing you and regretting that Levi didn't tell you about his true feelings when you were still alive. Little does he know you aren't so easy to get rid of and that you are still out there...

Warnings: death, blood, war scene, depression, full on hurt to comfort, super duper fluff in the end, as usual not proofread because I need to go to bed now hehe

Notes: Finally my first Levi fic after literally MONTHS! I know a lot of you were patiently waiting for more attack on titan content and I'm beyond sorry it took me so long babes. Please let me know how you feel about Attack on Titan content so that I might do more and especially regular fics in the future <3

He can’t take his eyes off you. To be exact, the sunlight suits your facial features so well that it seems impossible to ever let go of your sight.

You have been friends since he met you on that day exactly 6 years ago, when you tried to steal a load of food for a heavy pregnant woman. Since then, he was captivated by your beauty, your brain, your skills. But somehow, this makes the stinging fact that you sit beside him even worse.

“You shouldn’t be here, (y/n)”, he speaks out before he’s able to stop himself.

Immediately, your gaze drifts away from the dreamy scenery to him, eyes widen in surprise.

“What are you talking about, Levi?”

Don’t say his name while looking at him like that, not with that gentle tone in your angelic voice. He told himself over and over that you are nothing but a close friend, maybe considered family like Isabel and Farlan.

He huffs to himself. What a filthy little lie.

“This mission is dangerous. I don’t want you to get-“

“Hurt? Killed? You told me about all those things more than once and I’m happy to repeat myself again for you: I will not leave you, Farlan’s and Isabel’s side. After all, we are friends, right? And friends don’t leave each other behind.”

You gift him with your usual breath-taking smile while his heart skips a beat.

A friend.

He has to remind himself over and over again, force his orbs away from you. You are nothing but friends. And he will never risk to lose you over the potential of something more.

-the evening before the mission-

“I thought I’d find you here”, your teasing voice shouts from behind.

You are probably the last thing he wants to see this evening. Not because he doesn’t enjoy your company, but because he wasn’t able to convince you to stay in safety. Erwin Smith made it very clear that this mission is dangerous, that multiple survey corps member already died behind those walls. And even though you, Farlan and Isabel showed your skills countless times before, he can’t stop his train of thought. You, getting grabbed by a titan. You, getting ripped apart, your blood scattering onto the ground. He won’t have the chance to stay by your side during all times. One wrong movement, one thoughtless decision and you’d be gone.

“I don’t even have to ask in order to know what you’re thinking about right now, Levi.”

The second your hand brushes over his shoulder, he is too lost in the feeling of your bare hand against his shirt to worry any further.

“You don’t have to worry about Farlan, Isabel and me. After all, you’re the one who taught us everything we know.”

“Tsk. You were already doing fine when I met you.”

“But you were the one who showed me there is still hope, something worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died down there without ever seeing the sun once in my life”, you reply.

All of the sudden you place your hand on top of his and squeeze in gently. That look on your face, is it…Affection? He shakes his head firmly, doesn’t allow himself to get lost in that oh so sweet idea. A woman like you will never fall for a cold-hearted man like him, not when the whole squad fell head over heels for you the second they got to know you better. You are a true sweetheart, everyone’s favorite, a ray of sunshine. He, on the other hand, is none of that.

“Stop praising me or else I’ll puke and make a mess onto the freshly cleaned floor.”

No, he doesn’t deserve your kind word, doesn’t even deserve that spark in your eyes. You are better off without him, even as a friend.

“You’ll gonna clean it up anyway”, you bite back with a wide grin.

“Actually, there is something else I want to talk with you about, Levi.”

The sudden change in your voice paired with the warmth of your hand leaving his lets his gaze wander to yours again – only to catch you already staring.

“What is it?”, he questions instantly.

“If you have to decide between Isabel, Farlan and me…Just promise that you’ll safe them before even thinking about my ass. Please look after them and don’t worry about me.”

His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, reveal his surprise and…his resist. Not thinking about you, leaving you behind? The urge to shake you becomes almost unbearable when he grabs your arms passionately, gaze locking with yours.

“There is no way in hell I will ever leave you behind, dumbass. Don’t you dare to die on me, got it?”

“Promise”, you urge.

“Promise you’ll look out for them first.”

“(y/n)…”

He has to close his eyes in order to stop staring at your perfect lips. This might be the last time he ever sees you alive so unbothered by his side, the last time he witnesses the way the dim moonlight lights up your hair.

This…might be your last night alive.

“Please, I can’t live with the thought of being without them. They are still so young.”

“What about you, though? What if I don’t want to live a life without you? What if I die myself?”

You smile at him sadly, your hand caressing his cheek oh so gently.

“We all know you won’t die out there, Levi. It’s us who might not be here with you tomorrow. After all, that’s why you wanted to stop us from coming with you, right?”

He swallows hard. Every single one of you is a skilled fighter. Hell, you even survived the underground with countless enemies chasing after you. But this? This is something completely different. For the first time since getting to know all of you, Levi isn’t so sure about your abilities anymore.

“I promise”, he replies with low voice.

“Thank you”, you breathe out.

“Now, let’s get some sleep, shall we? We have a big fight ahead of us.”

Oh, there is no doubt in the fact that Levi won’t close his eyes this whole cursed night, pondering about a way to safe all of you. But even though you are very aware of that, you turn on your heel and smile at him one last time.

The brightest smile of them all, making your face gleam in nothing but affection.

“Oh, and Levi?”

“What is it, dumbass?”

“When I was talking about the sun earlier…That sun was you.”

And then you’re gone in the dark, leaving him with his heart almost beating out of his chest and feelings clustered all over the place.

Him, your sun?

-the battle-

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, the violent scream escaping your lips not reaching your ringing ears. Those powerful orbs…There is no doubt in the fact that this is her, that this is Isabel. Tears stream down your face uncontrollably, mix with the bitter coat of rain that sticks to your face uncomfortably.

Your friend is dead. And you were not able to protect her.

“You.”

The monster standing in front of you doesn’t look like the other titans you’ve seen before. Eyes red like crimson, lips curved into an evil grin. This thing is absolutely aware of the agony it causes you and enjoys every tear you cry.

You grab your blades even tighter, narrow eyes fixating its nape.

“I will make you suffer”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“I will make you regret that you even touched her!”

You dash forward only to get greeted by thin air. Fuck, this thing is so fast you didn’t even realize it was gone until your blade crashed into the muddy ground. Why do your hands suddenly start shaking, your knees felling weak? It’s just you and that thing. The other corps members around you? Scuttered onto the floor in bloody pieces.

Levi?

You escape its clutches by a hair’s breadth, the monster’s stinging smell of death and rotten flesh making your guts turn. You need to focus, need to control your fear and anger. Otherwise, you’ll die just like all the others did.

Levi…Is he dead as well? There is no one around, no one showed a single reaction to your multiple cries for help, your signs. Maybe you’re the only one who’s left. Which means that Farlan and Levi are gone.

Levi, gone? Fuck, you should have told him about your true feelings yesterday, you should have pressed your lips against his like you always dreamed about. This was the last opportunity to tell him how much you love him before both of you die.

And now it will be forever too late.

Just when you’re about to dash forward, the arm of the titan yanks towards you with breath-taking speed. Your eyes widen in sheer horror as all you can do is stare in sheer disbelief.

Is this how you will die? Through the hand of an abnormal titan, eating you alive?

You always dreamed of a life on the surface with Levi by your side. Maybe a small cottage on the edge of a busy city close to a river. Having a little farm with a few animals here and there, Levi working for a local business while you stay home and care for your home. For a brief moment, you allow your eyes to rest, to get lost in the life you will never have.

If only you had told him sooner. Maybe then it would have been different. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel your bones crack against the sheer force of the titan’s flat palm, throwing you into the air like a ball.

As soon as your body hits the ground, everything goes black.

-5 years later-

He opens his eyes against the way too harsh sunlight. Another night he hasn’t slept more than 2 hours. Day 1869 of missing you.

“Good morning, Captain Levi!”

He doesn’t even care to reply, feet carrying him down the hallway monotone. His days have always been the same since the day he lost Isabel, Farlan and you: Getting haunted in his sleep, waking up alone, surviving another day in this living hell. It’s almost ironic, how he already hated the world when you were in it. Little did he know how much worse it would get when you’re gone.

There is no day since back then that doesn’t revolve around you. You, with your hair down in the sun. You, beating up some tuff guys and showing them their place. You, that fucking cursed night before you had to leave.

Until this day, he hates himself for not being there. By the time he arrived, everyone was dead, brutally murdered by an abnormal titan. And even after searching for your corpse for hours in the pouring rain, he didn’t even manage to find a single limb left of you. This should be a good sign. After all, it might mean that you somehow managed to survive.

“The chances of (y/n) surviving and managing to flee on her own are 1 against 500.000”, Erwin said back then.

Maybe it would have actually felt better, knowing that you’re dead. Maybe this would spare him from getting haunted by your giggling and fucking gorgeous face each and every night.

But…If getting haunted by your presence is all he has left, he shouldn’t complain about it.

“We are heading out today. It is said that there are countless abnormal titans roaming around a city nearby”, Erwin explains briefly.

“How the fuck did these things even manage to get in there?”, Levi grumbles in response while taking a sip of his way too hot tea.

“That’s not what I care about. What I’m more interested in is the fact that a group of villagers managed to trap one of them.”

Levi can’t help but put his cup of tea down while Hange bursts out in sheer excitement next to him. A group of villagers, trapping an abnormal titan?

“Former corps members?”, he questions.

“Apparently not. Maybe they are interested in a new job”, Erwin replies, getting up from his seat and straightening his uniform.

“We are leaving right now.”

“Right now? Over some brats who were lucky to not get eaten by that titan?”

“You can’t deny that these ‘brats’ have to be skilled in order to trap an abnormal titan, Levi. Also, I heard the head of them is a woman.”

Levi huffs to himself. Skilled, huh? Lucky is definitely the better fit.

You sink your blade straight into the eye of the disgusting creature lying in front of you, watch in sheer satisfaction how it squeals underneath.

“Hope you enjoy that as much as I do”, you mumble, twisting and turning your sword painfully slow.

“(y/n), d-don’t you think that’s enough? What if it escapes?”, the man next to you cries out, holding safe distance between himself and the abnormal.

“So what? Listen, you little shit. If you even try to escape, I will kill you without even blinking, got it?”

You rip your blade out. In, out, in, out until everything around you is covered in crimson.

Just like back then.

You stumble back when a wave of nausea hits you. The sight of Isabel’s lifeless head, her limbs scattered across the muddy floor. Back then, you weren’t able to save her, weren’t even able to save yourself. If it wasn’t for your crew, you’d be dead by now. Just like her…

“Hey.”

“How about you take a break for a sec? You’re drifting off again.”

Her gently voice pulls you out of your nightmare just like her tender touch. Petra has been the greatest support since that fateful day. In fact, the only reason you are still alive is her. When she found you, you were already on the brink of death. Only due to her passionate and long-term care, you learned how to walk again, learned how to fight again.

“Sorry”, you mumble, allowing yourself to rest for a moment against her strong shoulder.

“(y/n), I’m sorry to interrupt you like this but…We spotted members of the survey corps?”

“The survey corps?”, you repeat in sheer disbelief.

Rage starts flooding your veins in an instant, forcing you to pick up your blade again. If there’s one thing you will never forgive the survey corps for, it’s the fact that they left you standing in the rain. The countless people who died with the wings of faith embroidered onto their jackets, eaten alive by a titan while your desperate cries for help remained unanswered until this day. For Erwin Smith, you were nothing but canon fodder, nothing but a bait. And you will forever hate him over the fact that he is partly responsible for the death of Isabel, Farlan and Levi.

You storm in the direction your scout sighted them, jumping from tree to tree in order to catch them by surprise. You will definitely not tolerate survey corps members around your area, especially when you just caught an abnormal titan to study and torture.

“There they are.”

Their disgusting green cloaks fill you with thick anger, almost force you onto the ground to knock every single one of them out. But you know all too well this isn’t the way to go. No, you will wait here until the right time comes to throw yourself at their captain.

There are five of them, walking towards the direction of your village. Just wait a few more seconds until the one who walks ahead is underneath you, one second and you…

You lunge yourself at the person with full speed, forcing them to the ground. Him, to be exact. That firm chest exposes all too urgently that you just attacked a man.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, brat?”, he barks at you, rough hands grabbing your wrists so tightly that your bones threaten to shatter.

You aren’t able to defend yourself, though.

That voice, the way he called you brat.

Is it really possible that…

You allow your eyes to look up at him and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

“Levi.”

You breathe his name out like a prayer, as if your dream might become reality. These grey and unbothered eyes look just like you remember his, the dark hair framing his face oh so perfectly.

“Levi, is that you?”

He can’t comprehend his feelings. Just a second ago, he was under attack of a stranger. But your eyes aren’t foreign. They hold the spark he dreams of each and every night, the memory he cares about so deeply. Is it really possible, that…

“(y/n).”

Everyone was so sure that you died on the battlefield, that the titan must have eaten you alive without leaving any remains. But maybe there was nothing to remain. Maybe you actually did manage to survive. Is it possible? Is this really you?

“I thought you died.”

Your voice is nothing but a fade away whisper, tears streaming down your usual so composed face like rivers when your memories begin to crash down on you like a house of cards. All those years, you were convinced Levi lost his life on this battlefield as well, that you were the only one remaining. But now you’re sitting on top of him, taking in his clean scent while he glares at you the way he used to.

“Everyone tried to convince me that that fucking abnormal ate you back then, that there is no chance you survived. Now look at you, dumbass”, he breathes out, very own eyes now coated in a thin layer of glimmering tears.

There is no time to waste. With a swift motion, you lunge yourself at him again, wrap your arms around his strong torso as if your life depends on it while resting your head against his chest and crying your heart out.

Words will always fail to express how much you missed him, that you thought about him each and every night since the day he was taken away from you so roughly. But now, you will never let him go again. Now you won’t waste another opportunity to tell him how you really feel.

“I love you, Levi. I loved you since our days in the underground city, I loved you through all these horrible years of grief. I love you. I love you”, you finally blurt out.

“I love you too, (y/n). I always did.”

Gently, he rests his hand against your nape while lifting your chin up with the other.

The second your lips meet, your world feels complete for the first time. All the pain, the grief, the things you had to endure. The countless nights of imagining him right by your side, the thought of never seeing him again. And now he’s here, right in your arms while kissing you so passionately that you fail to breathe.

“I love you”, he repeats so softly that your heart melts away like butter.

“I love you…”

“I finally found my sun again”, you smile against his lips.

You snuggle yourself onto him even tighter, your grip around his torso firm. Oh, you will definitely never let this man go again. Not after it took both of you so many years to meet again, not when he’s all you ever wanted.

Levi Ackerman, the love of your life.

“Who’s that woman throwing herself at you from a tree and then getting a smooch from you?”

“Shut up, shitty four-eyes”, Levi barks at the person standing behind him.

Tags:

@hellkaiserinphoenix @chilichopsticks @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain (hope you noticed I actually named reader's bestie after you babe) @polarbvnny @kentocalls @kayleegomez

First divider by wonderful @cafekitsune - check out the banner I used here!

Second one as usual from the best @saradika-graphics - I worship the ground you walk on honey

192 notes · View notes

morgana-larkin · 1 month

Note

hi, I think I have a crazy and [loooong] prompt baskdjskkaka. From Melissa's line 'no women? nobody else?ever?'

The staff is reminiscing the little bickering a year ago or two about Janine's love life, only then the staff realize what has Mel said, that she's like into women too. Barb knows tho and Mr. J because ofc he knows everything what has happened in those hallways. So Ava, Janine and Jacob being themselves + Greg surprisingly, began to interrogate Mel about it and in some point she got tired of the constant questioning so she just admitted that she had a relationship with a woman before, particularly a teacher too at Abbott few years before the new teaching staff and principal arrived at the said school. She goes to describe the woman with a little smile on her face without realizing it, did not mention what happened saying they should take what she offers about her private life,the truth is, she still feel guilty of what has happened realizing she's wrong and it's too late. At that, she thought the staff will finally leave her alone but no, since she's single again after the failed proposal, they're like encouraging her to date and maybe try again with a woman. Ofc she declines, then one day Ava burst into the break room grinning, saying a new member of the district is around to help the school, but the top of the icing, as she quote, is she had finally found a match for Melissa not knowing who's r really is, then introduces r to the crew. And man, best believe Melissa almost threw herself out of the window when she sees the very woman she had a relationship before and apparently who she had managed to hurt that still haunts her at night, r is no different from the redhead as she is aslo shocked to see the woman, still there and stunning as ever, because last time they saw each other, the woman cursed that she doesn't think she can stay in a place where she knows r had lingered or stepped a foot with. So basically it's the queue for r to left Philly and never go back, but she's God's favorite and he decided to send her back to the very place she avoids the most. [The breakup is ugly, as it is a big misunderstanding, the redhead saw the other woman kissing, or rather being kissed by a man, against her will which she doesn't know since she became real irrational that point and didn't even listen to the plea of the other woman]

And bc of the weird and awkward reactions + interactions from the two women when they're in a room together, the staff slowly put 2 and 2 together that the new district member that has been sent to the school is the very woman who Mel had a past with.

That is so long I'm so sorry, I just need to let it all out or else I'm gonna combust

Anon it’s perfectly alright, let it all out. This took me so much longer to write and it’s just under 5,000 words😅. There’s so much fucking angst and as someone who hates seeing Melissa upset, I was literally glaring at myself for writing that Melissa is going through it. So I hope you enjoy it! As always not edited in the slightest!

As a side note I wanted to thank @janeyseymour for helping me out, I had no idea what former teachers do at all and she let me know a bunch of them!

Want You Back

Warnings: swearing, Melissa crying, smut

Words: 4.95k

“No women? Nobody else? Ever?” Melissa said 2 years ago.

“Wait, what did Melissa mean by that?” Janine asked Gregory and Jacob one day when they were walking into work and talking about the conversation they had in the library a couple years ago.

“I don’t know, but it is weird that her first instinct was to immediately ask about women first instead of men.” Jacob says, contributing to the conversation.

“Do I even want to know what you nerds are talking about?” Ava asked them.

“It’s about Melissa, from something she said 2 years ago.” Gregory said and Ava looked at them.

“Melissa has said a lot of things 2 years ago.” Ava said.

“It’s when we were in the library and I said that I’ve been dating my boyfriend since 8th grade and you all questioned it and Melissa said ‘no women’.” Janine explained to Ava and this caught her interest.

“Oh ya, I remember that. I say we question her.” Ava said but the trio stopped her.

“No, this is Melissa we’re talking about. She won’t tell us something about her life so easily.” Janine says.

“Good point, we could annoy her until she gives in.” Ava suggested.

“Maybe another plan where we don’t put our lives at risk.” Jacob says.

“Oh come on. Melissa likes us too much now to kill us.” Ava says proudly and they all look at her like she hit her head. “I did say now, 2 years ago she definitely would have killed us.”

“That’s true, but we can’t ask her multiple times in one go, it’ll have to be a couple to a few times a day.” Jacob says.

“Ok let’s start now.” Ava says, excited about this plan and heads towards the break room. Ava enters, drawing attention as usual with the trio in tow behind her. “Melissa, question.” Ava asks as she pours some coffee in a mug. Melissa glances up at her from her phone.

“What do you want Coleman?” Melissa asks and looks back to her phone, typing something.

Ava smiles at her as she pours an unnecessary amount of sugar in her coffee. “Have you ever dated a woman?” Ava asks and Melissa freezes.

She looks up from her phone, “what?” She asks.

“Have you ever dated a woman?” Ava repeats. Melissa looks at her and sees the trio looking at her waiting for a reply.

“It’s none of youse business who I have or haven’t dated.” She says and goes back to her phone.

The trio and Ava look at each other and smile a little. They have a feeling that Melissa actually might have dated a woman due to her freezing.

*At lunch*

“So you have dated a woman haven’t you?” Janine asks her at her table.

“I thought I told you this morning it’s none of your business.” She glares at her. Janine gets the hint and goes to her own table.

*after school*

“Melissa, we just want to know if you’ve dated a woman before.” Jacob tells her as they all leave the building together.

“Why do you want to know so badly?” Melissa asks them, annoyed.

“Because you never tell us anything about you.” Janine says.

“Ya we just want to get to know you better.” Gregory says.

Melissa rolls her eyes. “What brought this up all of a sudden?” She asks them.

“Well remember when Janine made us play that annoying game and write something about ourselves on a card and then we guess who it was.” Ava asks, earning a ‘heeeey’ from Janine for calling her game annoying.

“Vaguely.” Melissa says, very short with them right now.

“Well, after Janine said he’s only ever dated one guy since grade 8, your immediate response was ‘no women?’.” Ava says and Melissa looks at them.

Melissa then proceeds to walk to her car. “Like I said , none of youse business.” She says and reaches her car and turns to look at them. “So stop asking.” She says and gets in her car.

*the next morning*

The trio keep glancing over at Melissa. They want to ask but wondering if it’ll be dangerous to ask her.

“I feel you guys looking at me.” Melissa says looking at her phone, unimpressed by them. And at that Ava comes in.

“We just want to know the answer.” Jacob tells her.

Melissa sighs and turns around and glares at them. “Ok fine. Yes, I’ve dated a woman before, last one was a few years ago before youse started working here.” She told them and they all beam.

“Omg this is so exciting!” Janine squeals.

“I can’t believe you never told us you were bisexual.” Jacob says.

“What was she like?” Gregory says, and they all look at him then back to Melissa.

Melissa immediately starts thinking about you and she smiles. “She was a teacher here, she taught 3rd grade and left 4 years before you guys started.” She says pointing to Janine, Jacob and Ava. “She was beautiful and smart and brave. She was funny and sarcastic as well and able to keep up with my wit.” Melissa continues. And they all listen as Melissa describes you. And unknown to Melissa, she was smiling the entire time. The only thing Melissa refused to say was your name and why you broke up.

“Why don’t you want to say her name or why you broke up?” Ava says.

“How about youse people take what I give about my life and shut it.” Melissa says and turns back around to go on her phone. Barb looks at her concerned. Of course she knows what happened since she was there and knows how guilty Melissa feels about how it ended.

“Have you ever thought about dating again, specifically a woman?” Jacob says.

Melissa turns to look at him. “No, I’m not going through it again.” She says with a slight voice crack.

Of course none of them listen to her and keep on the lookout for a woman that’s Melissa’s type. And then one day, Ava does. She bursts into the break room, full grin on her face and immediately looks at Melissa then back to the full group, she thinks she found a match for Melissa. Melissa gets up to get herself a coffee and pours it into her mug.

“Hey nerds listen up! The school district sent us a vice principal to help out around the school and they’re paying for it.”

“Really?” Janine says.

“Yep, oh here she comes.” Ava says “and her name is y/n y/l/n.” She says as you enter.

Before anyone can say anything, the sound of a mug breaking is heard near the coffee machine. They all turn to see Melissa with her hand out, as she just dropped her favourite coffee mug full of coffee and it broke on the floor. She’s standing there looking at the new woman who entered in complete shock, completely unaware that she just dropped her mug. They all look towards you who’s looking at Melissa with an expression that can mirror Melissa’s.

“Melissa, r u ok?” Jacob says, and Melissa glances at him briefly before looking down at the floor.

“Uh, u-um y-ya ya, I’m fine, I’m just gonna let Mr Johnson know about the mess.” Melissa says and books it out of the room. A minute later Mr. Johnson appears and sees you , then shakes his head, muttering ‘this will be interesting’.

They all introduce themselves to you , except for Barb. Once the trio and Ava leave, you look at Barb then at your feet, not knowing what to say to her.

“It’s nice to see you again dear.” Barb says and you look up at her.

“I had no idea that Melissa was still working here. I also didn’t really have a choice, the district sent me saying this school needs a vice principal and I needed a job.” You tell her.

“It’s alright, I understand.” Is all she says.

“I-I’ll avoid Melissa as much as possible while I’m here, to avoid any drama as I’m sure she’ll do with me. So you don’t have to worry about that.” You tell her then leave.

After that Barb leaves the break room and goes to check on Melissa. And sure enough, just like she thought, Melissa is having a full on crisis in her classroom. Melissa is at her desk writing something harshly, then gets angry at her pen for not working properly then throws it across the room.

“You’re handling it better than I thought.” Barb says after she sees Melissa throw the pen. Melissa whips her head at Barb and looks at her with anger in her eyes that quickly turns to tears. Barb immediately goes and comforts her the best she could.

“I can’t believe after all these years, she’s here again.” Melissa says, crying into Barb’s shoulder during a hug.

“I know dear, I know.” Barb says, patting her back.

“I thought I’d never see her again, after 6 years I still feel guilty about what happened.” Melissa says, still crying.

*6 years ago*

You and Melissa were at a club, drinking. Celebrating the end of another school year.

“Hey Amore, can you go get us some more drinks?” Melissa asks you, as she got the previous ones.

“Of course beautiful.” You tell her and give her a quick kiss on the lips with a smile. You then get up and go to the bar to get some drinks. You order a drink for you and Melissa’s favourite drink, then a man comes up next to you as you're waiting, and starts chatting you up.

“Hey there pretty lady.” He says and you glance at him and sigh, you just ignore him.

After your drinks are done, the guy is still trying to talk to you. Before you can reach for your drinks, he gets up and goes behind you and kisses you, blocking any possible exit. The guy is twice your side, you try pushing him off but he wouldn’t budge.

Melissa is wondering what’s taking you so long as it’s been 5 minutes. She gets up and goes to the bar and sees you with a man’s tongue down your throat, pressed up against the bar and Melissa sees red. As soon as the guy gets away from you, you see Melissa standing there about 10 feet away, looking pissed. Melissa stomps over to you, grabs your wrist and drags you out of the club.

“WHAT THE HELL Y/N!!! WHY WERE YOU KISSING HIM!” She yells at you and you’re taken aback.

“Did you think I wanted him to kiss me?” You ask.

“Well it sure as hell didn’t look like you weren’t enjoying it!!!” She yells at you.

“Melissa I didn’t…” You try to explain what happened but she cuts you off.

“I don’t fucking care what lame ass excuse you’re about to give!!! I want you and your shit out of my house and nowhere near me again!!! In fact!! Why don’t you leave the fucking city! I don’t want to see you and your cheating face ever again!!!” She yells at you and then turns around to go to her car. You run up and grab her arm to try and get her to listen to you. She shoves your hand off of her and you try again. “Let go of my y/n!” She tries to shove your hand off of her again but you hold on.

“Please Melissa! Just listen to me!” You tell her with tears in your eyes. “He kissed me! I didn’t…” she doesn’t want to listen to you anymore and pushes you off of her and you stumble and fall back on the ground. You look at her full of hurt and tears. She just turns back around and walks to her car and drives away.

You end up staying at a friend's house for a few weeks. You end up telling the principal of Abbott Elementary that you quit and won’t be coming back, you get all your stuff from Melissa’s house when she told you she won’t be there so you can come pick it up. And after 2 months, you end up finding a place out of Philly and get a job at the school district. You feel hurt and abandoned by Melissa. Your friend told you to forget about her if she wasn’t willing to listen to what happened and fight for you. You left a note at her place, explaining what happened at the bar as she blocked your number after telling you when she won’t be there for a whole weekend to come get your stuff. You left her place with your things, completely heartbroken, you thought Melissa would be it for you but you guess you were wrong

Melissa on the other end wasn’t any better, when she got back from her weekend trip, she saw your note and read it. Full of tears in her eyes as she realised her mistake. She immediately unblocks your number and a bunch of messages you tried to send her appear. She read them all, she wanted to send you a message, saying she got your note and wanted to talk, and then she saw your last message.

You: I know you won’t get this Melissa but I’m really sorry about what happened. I’ll be changing my number today and moving out of Philly soon so you won’t see or hear from me again. Love, y/n.

She saw that the message was sent yesterday, she was too late. She has no idea where you are and no way of contacting you.

*back to present day*

“Melissa, what if this is your chance to fix that mistake?” Barb says. “You told me that if you got a chance to apologise then you would take it.”

“It’s been 6 years Barb, she’s probably moved on and doesn’t care about me anymore.” She tells her. Barb doesn’t push her anymore, knowing she needs time and space right now.

At lunch time, you finish talking to Janine in the break room and go to leave. At the same time Melissa is coming in and you walk into each other. You both stare at each other for a few seconds, not knowing what to do or say. You then walk around her and leave the break room. Melissa stands there for a few more seconds in shock. She then looks over at everyone and they’re staring at her confused about what just happened. Melissa doesn’t say anything, she just gets her lunch and eats in silence.

The second period after lunch, Melissa has a prep period as her kids are in art class. She’s marking some tests when you knock on her door. Melissa doesn’t look up as she’s finishing up marking a question.

“Just a sec.” She says.

“That’s fine, I can wait.” You say and Melissa freezes and looks up. “I’ll just sit in one of the students' chairs. I’m sure they won’t mind.” You say with a chuckle.

Melissa quickly finishes marking the question and then looks up at you. “Hi y/n” she says and you look at her.

“Hi Melissa, long time no see.” You tell her.

“Ya, 6 years.” She says, embarrassed.

“Barb told me what happened with the vending machine guy, sorry about that.” You tell her and she nods.

“Y/n was there something you wanted?” She says.

“I wanted to make sure that me being the vice principal here won’t cause any…conflicts.” You tell her.

Melissa freezes, she’s caught in between, she wants to say yes so that you’ll leave and she won’t have to feel guilty every time she sees you but a bigger part of her wants to say no, she missed you and it was nice seeing your face and smile again. Melissa knows what she has to do, she can’t be selfish but she can be careful.

“No I don’t see why it would.” And you look at her and Melissa feels the need to get it over with. “I mean I moved on and you moved on, the past is the past right?” She says and if she’s honest, it hurt her to say that to you.

You were in a similar spot. It hurt to hear her say that she’s moved on from you but what would you expect. It’s been 6 years and you guys ended badly and you assumed that more than likely she didn’t read your note, probably threw it out.

“Ya, we’ll keep it professional.”

“Ya professional, exactly.” She agreed and you got up.

“Oh I’m supposed to introduce myself to all the teachers and ask if there’s anything they need.” You tell. “I got to know the principal more and while she’s nicer than the one that was here when I was a teacher, this one also doesn’t do anything.” You say and she chuckles.

“Ya I have a feeling you’ll be doing most of the principal duties as well.” She says.

“Yep, more than likely. So was there anything you need? Paper? Glue sticks? Pens?” You ask her.

“No no, I think I’m good for now but I’ll let you know if that changes.” She says and you nod.

“Alright.” You say and go to leave then turn back around. “Btw love the rugs. Am I correct to assume you had something to do with that?”

Melissa smiles and puts her index finger over her lips “shh” she says and you smile and mime zipping your mouth. After you leave , Melissa looks at the doorway and sighs. “What I need is you.” She says quietly.

Over the next month, the trio and Ava slowly start to figure it out. You and Melissa barely are in the same room together, barely speak to each other, and when you do, it’s very awkward and uncomfortable. Then they see Melissa’s face when she sees you, full of guilt and sadness. And when you see Melissa, your face is full of hurt.

“Melissa, how do you know y/n?” Janine asks Melissa after a month of watching the awkwardness.

“She’s the vice principal, so we all know her.” Melissa says to them, the trio not convinced for a second and she doesn’t even believe it herself.

“Come on Melissa, it’s obvious you knew her before she got here.” Jacob says. “I mean you’re interactions with her are awkward and tense. And when she first got here you dropped your favourite mug. I mean the only reason I would act that way is if…’’ Jacob doesn’t finish it as he put it all together and he gasps. “Omg y/n is the woman you dated!” He squeals out and Melissa whips her head around in shock since he figured it out.

“How the hell did you figure it out!” Melissa says and immediately her eyes go wide and covers her mouth with her hand for accidentally confirming what he said.

“So wait he’s right? She’s the one you told us about?” Janine says and Melissa rubs her temple with her hands.

“Ok fine, yes he’s right. Y/n is the woman I dated 6 years ago. But it ended badly and I don’t want to talk about it any further.” Melissa says and then walks out of the break room.

“What’s the matter with Melissa?” Ava says as she enters. “She seems grumpier than usual, I just said hi to her and she told me to go to hell.”

“Y/n is the woman that Melissa dated 6 years ago.” Jacob says and Ava has a shocked expression.

“Omg really?” She says. “Barb, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because Ava, it’s not my secret to tell, it’s Melissa and y/n’s.” Barb says to her. “What I will tell you is Melissa feels guilty and is too afraid to apologise and y/n is too busy thinking that Melissa hates her. I’ve been trying to tell each of them to talk to each other but they’re both so stubborn.”

“Maybe we can trap them somewhere together and force them to talk to each other.” Ava suggests and they all agree, including Barb, that it’s not a bad idea.

“Ok but that requires a door that can lock from the outside and you can’t unlock it without a key from the inside.” Gregory says.

“I know just the place.” Mr Johnson says and they all turn to look at him on the other side of the room, not knowing he was there.

“You’re willing to help us with this?” Janine asks him.

“I was rooting for them 6 years ago when y/n was a teacher here.” He says and they look at him. Of course he knew, they honestly are not surprised at this point.

They put their plan into play, the next day during lunch they were gonna lock you two in the janitorial closet and Janine was gonna take Melissa’s kids with hers and go to the gym and then do a big art project in her classroom.

So when Melissa was going to get her kids, Janine asks Melissa if she could help her reach something from the Janitor closet and Mr Johnson went to ask you if you could help him with something in the closet. Melissa was grabbing the item when you walked in and then the door shut. You ran to it and tried to open it but it was locked.

“Did they just lock us in here?” You ask her. Melissa was too stunned to see you that she didn’t even realise what happened until you spoke.

“Ya I think they did.” She said.

“Why would they do that?” You ask her, annoyed.

“Probably for us to talk.” She says and you look at her.

“What is there for us to talk about? There’s absolutely nothing for us to talk about” You say and cross your arms.

“Actually there’s something. ” Melissa says and sits on one of the chairs that’s in there, while you sit on the other.

“What is it then?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath.

“6 years ago.” Is all she says but you understood.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about. You said it yourself, it’s in the past and we’ve both moved on.” You said and you look at her and she looks hurt. “What?”

“Have you really moved on?” She asked and you look at her.

“It doesn't matter, I know you moved on though. ”

“Ya a failed proposal is definitely not moving on.” she says.

“But you were in a serious enough relationship with him for him to propose.” You tell her and she looks down.

“Ya I guess so.” She gets her phone out to text Barb to come let them out and gets a reply back.

Barb: not until you talk to her.

Melissa: no, it’s too painful, please let us out.

Barb: I’m sorry Melissa but I know this was hurting you. Seeing her everyday is hurting you.

“They’re not gonna let us out anytime soon are they?” You ask her.

“I don’t think so.” She says and then looks at you. “I’m sorry.” She says.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t lock us in here.” You say, totally missing what she was apologising for.

“That’s not what I’m apologising for.” She says and you look at her.

“Then what are you apologising for?”

“For 6 years ago, making a big mistake.”

“Wha-”

“I read your note.” She says, cutting you off. “I should have listened to you but I was just so angry that I couldn’t think.” She tells you and looks at you with guilt. “The real reason I said no to Gary is because I didn’t want to be with him because I still have feelings for you. And I felt so guilty about how I reacted and I unblocked your number when I got home after reading your note and read all the texts and I wanted to find you or contact you but I had no way of doing that.” And a few tears slip down her cheeks.

“I haven’t moved on, you know. I’ve forgiven you for that night but I haven’t gotten over you.” You say and Melissa is looking at you with wide puffy eyes. “I tried, I ended up living with a girlfriend for a year. But then she broke up with me when she wanted more and I didn’t. Said I was emotionally unavailable. Which I guess is true, you can’t develop big feelings for someone if your heart belongs to someone else.” You said and the look on Melissa’s face said it all.

“Who does your heart belong too?”

“You.” Melissa sucked in a breath. “When I saw you standing there in the break room after 6 years, I couldn’t believe it, and you still look beautiful and stunning.” She let out an airy laugh.

“You as well, you still look so damn beautiful. My heart belongs to you too.” Melissa then gets up and walks over to you and crouches next to you and holds your hand and you look down at her. “I want to be with you again, if you’ll have me.” She says and you tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and smile at her.

“Of course, I want to be with you again too.” You said and Melissa beams. Then she gets up and leans in and kisses you. After 6 years Melissa finally felt back home again, like her lips are supposed to be on yours and no one else’s. You pull back after needing to breathe and you look at Melissa who’s smiling at you.

“You know I don’t think they’ll let us out until it’s the end of the day. So we still got… 2 and a half hours.” Melissa says, looking at her phone. You then get up and make her walk backwards and get her to sit on her chair and then straddle her lap.

“I think I want to know how to spend that time.” You tell her with a smile then go to kiss her again.

Melissa kisses you back passionately with her hands in your hair and yours are on her hips. Melissa’s hands travel down your body and land on your chest. She then puts her hands under your shirt and cups your boobs and you moan into the kiss. She then moves her lips down to your neck and starts sucking on it and you gasp before placing your mouth on her shoulder to muffle your sounds. Melissa giggles at your actions before unclipping your bra and lifts your shirt so she can put her lips around your nipples. You try to move your body so you can grind her leg but Melissa keeps you where you are and you whine.

“Patience, I don’t want to waste you on my leg.” She tells you and flips you both so you’re the one on the chair and removes your pants and underwear. She then immediately dives down and licks your pussy and you cover your mouth with your arm to muffle your moan. Melissa then puts her tongue in your entrance and begins tongue fucking you and you bite down on your arm as it feels so good.

Melissa tastes you again after years and thinks of how you still taste so good. She moans and it vibrates on your entrance and you gasp. She moves her tongue out of your entrance and goes for your clit and sucks on it. You’re moaning into your arm like crazy right now as Melissa is fucking magical with her tongue.

Melissa looks at you trying your best to muffle your sounds and gets up and kisses you. While kissing you, she slips a finger into your entrance and a thumb to your clit and you clutch her hair. She slips another finger in and pushes them in and out of you quickly while rubbing your clit. It doesn’t take long until you’re shaking and Melissa knows you’re about to come.

“Go on Tesoro, come for me.” Melissa whispers into your ear and then goes right back to kissing you just in time for you to come. “As soon as they let us out of this closet, I’m taking you to my place. I’ll cook us something and then it’s to my bed. How does that sound?” Melissa asks you after removing her fingers out of you.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell her, trying to catch your breath. “I honestly miss your cooking, and your body.” You say and she smiles as she kisses you again. She helps you get dressed after kissing you and then she sits down on the floor with you curled up on her.

And that’s how the Abbott crew finds them after they go to unlock the door after the students leave. They unlock it and see you on Melissa with her hands wrapped protectively around you and they all have their mouths open in shock.

“Oh finally.” Melissa says and you get off of her and help her up. “Come on.” She tells you and grabs your hand and begins sprinting out of there and you’re both giggling.

“Was that a hickey on y/n’s neck?” Janine says and they all look at her then back at you two running out of the building.

And when the two of you get to her place, Melissa keeps her word of making a meal then spending the rest of the evening in her bed.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

If you want to be added then let me know!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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httpsobi · 3 months

Text

YOU...YOU CAN DO THAT? “a spider-reader x team"

WARNINGS/TAGS + sfw, they/them (gender neutral) reader addressed as spider cause if you can't tell i'm very creative, inspired by miles morales spiderman cause hes my fav, no beta we die like aunts and uncles in spiderman movies/comics, canon-typical violence (not heavily detailed).

A/N + to the anon who requested this nearly a year ago, i'm so sorry pookie the writer block put me in a author coma of sorts. despite this being a year late and trash, i hope you enjoy regardless, and i'm hoping to get more active with my writing again! enjoyyyyyy!

REQUEST + "Oops here I am again (the same anon who requested a reader with spider like abilities).. I forgot to specify 😭 but like maybe could you do idk a first meeting between the YJ and the reader (they/them btw)? Would they be creeped out with the readers' abilities or would it go like 'oh wooooow. Show us how it works!'?"

KF & AQ "Kid!" Kid Flash turns to Spider as he sprints across the buildings adjacent to them. They struggle to match his pace, but as he slows to stick his landing, they manage to catch up and yell at a simple instruction that nearly has him freezing in his tracks out of horror.

"Jump!"

"What?" They flinch at the loud screech that pierces through their earpiece. "No way- are you crazy?!"

"Just-"

Their eyes widen as they watch the monster they've been trying to lead away from the populated city centre leaps into the air behind him.

"-do it!"

Kid Flash hesitates for a moment, they can see it on his face, ready to ignore their request when the creature lets out a rumbling roar.

The ground shakes under his feet as the monstrous thing lands on the building behind him and his face drops into a comical expression.

He spares it a glance over his shoulder, and with its claws reaching out from him, he takes the leap, narrowly avoiding the sharp nails, but as he flails around in the air, weightless, he wonders-

does he really prefer concrete over nails?

He shuts his eyes, readying himself from an impact that- never comes. Rather, there's something sticking to his stomach before he's being yanked to the side, and then- up.

Instead of the smack of concrete, he hits a person, their arms wrapped around him as they roll both of them through the force.

Kid Flash, finally, shoots up and opens his eyes.

Spider and Kid Flash are sat on their asses with matching shellshocked looks, staring down at the building across of them, where that beast shares a similarly confused look as it watches the street below them.

The two turn to blink at each other, shuffling to their feet as they let out joyous cheers that sound almost like screams (poor Kaldur's ears can testify), arms wrapped around each other as they jump with like two middle aged men who's football team just scored the final point.

"Dude, we did that!"

"Right?! I thought I was gonna fall to my death but then you just-!"

"I didn't even know how I did that! It was sheer animal instinct-"

Needless to say, Kaldur was less than happy, and no more "jumping-off-the-building-and-praying" was permitted or attempted.

Not around Kaldur anyway.

ART & SUP Superboy fails to punch through it, the cage simply folding and stretching around his fist before it pushes him, his shoulder bumping into Artemis'.

"Are we stuck in here until Robin gets back?" Artemis asks with a irritated sigh, turning to look at Spider.

They seem mystified, a mischievous glint in their eyes that she can make out through the big cartoonish eyes of the mask as they take in the strange cage.

Their hands press against the cage, palm flat as they give it a little experimental shove before she can make out their eyebrows rising.

Their palms start to spark, and the red hue of the cage begins to light up a pale blue, "Nope."

The crackles of electricity grow louder and Artemis and Superboy step back just as an awful cracking sounds and-

The cage bursts around them, Spider's sent flying back into Artemis, who's then sent back into Superboy and the three hit the floor with matching grunts.

There's a moment of silence, before Artemis is shoving Spider off of her and rolling off of Superboy herself. As the three sit themselves up slowly, Artemis can make out Spider nodding to themselves with what she thinks is pride.

"I didn't know you could do that." Superboy comments plainly as the three slowly get back to their feet.

Blinking at him, Spider wiggles their fingers at him with a smile.

"Me neither."

MG & ROB With a grunt, Robin sits up with a grimace, hand on his head as his eyes readjusts when he manages to make out Bane stood just in his eye-line.

Bane isn't looking at him though, instead the man's eyes are trained on Miss Martian floating in the air, hands outstretched out in front of her.

She's clearly too busy managing her telekinesis to notice the hulking man anger as he grabs onto one of the many large pieces of machinery lying around the abandoned factory and prepares to ambush her.

Miss Martian, watch out!

Robin's voice rings out in her head, and M'gann whips around, eyes landing on Bane.

Before either of them can react, something is suddenly flying through the air and with a loud thwack- Bane is lying on the floor, looking a lot less angry and unconscious. Now up on his feet, Robin slowly approaches Bane, M'gann landing on his side as the pair blink down at whatever hit him.

Upon inspection, it's the barrel tank that those cement trucks carry. Empty, sure, but Robin's not surprised that guy was put to bed.

What's more surprising?

"Woooo, my aim's getting good, no?" Spider grins, bouncing on their feet as they approach the two.

"You... you threw that?" Miss Martian asks carefully.

"Duh, who else?"

"Oh. Well, thank you." She offers, a little dumbfounded but Spider doesn't seem to notice.

"How?" Spider blinks at Robin, who's been silently gawking at them as they approach.

"What do you mean, 'how'? I just threw it. "

Robin sputters at them, left eye twitching under his mask as he watches them stretch their arms out over their head with no care in the world.

"That's not- that's impossible?"

"Nuh, uh! Just grab, do a couple spins to get some speed and let go- works pretty well."

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?! I'm plenty strong!"

Safe to say that Robin made them perform a couple of strength tests when they got back to the cave, and now Robin's worried Spider might not be aware of the fact that most people can't just throw around cement trucks.

all work n' writing is work of @httpsobi. i ask you please do not copy, rewrite, translate or post on other platforms without my consent.

#httpsobi's work #young justice dc #young justice #young justice headcanons #young justice imagines #young justice x reader #reader x young justice #oc x young justice #young justice reader #young justice oc #dc #dc x reader #dc comic x reader

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actuallyacerrr · 2 months

Note

Hi handsome! I saw that you have your requests open so I thought I would ask if that's okay.

Could you maybe do some (bayverse) Donatello x reader? Something fluffy, possibly a friends to lovers confession scenario (I'm a sucker for those).

If not that's totally fine, either way, make sure to take good care of yourself and stay safe! Love ya <3

Hiiii 🤭 Oh do I loveeeeee friends to lovers ( but not as much as rivals to lovers.) This shit is so cute though 🙏. Came up with smth shorter for this so I hope you don’t mind. Also I love Donnie, I love all the turtle boys equally but he is a favorite. Anyway take of yourself too Anon. 🫵

Just Friends..?

Type ->

Imagine

Pairing ->

Bayverse!Donatello x GN!Reader

Warnings ->

N/A

Summary ->

You fell in love with a giant turtle mutant and now you are gonna confess. Little did you know that big turtle doofus did too. Well ain’t that something.

692 Words | Masterlist

It's been about a year since you met Donnie. And it was not in some great heroic way. No, you two stumbled upon each other on a rooftop. Bonding over your love for technology and the internet. You still don’t know if fate was genuinely toying with you that day.. but you won’t complain, you wouldn’t have had meeting Donnie or the friendship you both had any other way.

Yet, this needed to be perfect.

Donnie met you on a rooftop just a year ago. He’d been observing you, humans were still rather strange to him. But he had “accidentally” made his presence known and well that was that. Bonding over technology and the internet with the human he did know he’d grow to love.

Now with the chance to confess, he needed it to be perfect.

So what’s more perfect than confessing on the same rooftop they met at. Picnic style, red and white blanket and everything: a basket, food, utensils, etc. A thing you both hadn’t known was you both had been coming there over the week cleaning up the rooftop. No wonder it was so clean so soon!

Now you're pacing the rooftop, he should be here ten soon. And he might run a bit late, he could get caught up in something or he might have trouble finding his way here. He wouldn’t just not come, you know that.

You just sat and checked the time, waiting. Lost in thoughts till a thump from behind spooked you. Right on time, a big old haha at your brain trying to make you overthink this.

A small smile sent his way inviting him over, and a smile from him right back accepting it. Now you both sat together, in silence but a comfortable one.

“It’s a lovely day,” he started.

“It is.. just like you.” You whispered, a silence followed, “as a friend! You're a very lovely friend.” You add after a few seconds. Nice save me haha..ha. He looked at you curiously, like you’d become his next big tech to figure out age understand—not that you weren’t already—your eyes meet his.

“You're lovely too.” Both smiling, that turned into flushed faces who looked back in front of them at the sky.

“You-”

“I-”

A pause

“I think you should go first-”

“You should go first-”

Another pause but you speak first, “you hungry?” Pulling out food and plates, and utensils to use. You served yourself and fell into simple conversations. Laughing and talking about whatever came to mind. And as the sun began to set you two grew closer, the chilled wind sending you closer to your friend. That comfortable silence returned as four eyes gazed into the sunset. Yet you looked up, seeing Donatello looking right at you. His face illuminated by the sun’s light and his soft smile made you melt.

“Hey” a soft whisper.

“Hey” a reply that grew to a smile.

“I want to talk to you about something.. and it’s nothing bad! I just..” you pulled away a bit getting a better look at him, he looked nervous and flustered.

“Listen I like you, like really like you. You’re smart and kind and you always make me smile. Your presence practically lights up the room. I enjoy talking to you and debating on society's new technological developments. But, i’d understand if you rejected me because I am a mutant turtle-“

Before he could continue you pulled his head down with an easy tug to the top of his plastron and your lips connected. As you pull back he’s looking at you with a doopy smile and an even more flustered face. You laugh and smile before. A churring sound coming from him.

“I like you too, and I don’t care that you're a giant mutant turtle! It’s cool that you are! Who can go around saying that their partner is a giant turtle who fights crime!”You lean into him as you talk. Hand being thrown out in front of you to emphasize your point. Donnie couldn’t object to that.

Your eyes looking back over the sunset. It couldn’t have gone any better.

#acerrr writings #tmnt #tmnt bayverse x reader #tmnt bayverse #bayverse donnie #bayverse donatello #donatello x reader #donnie x reader #bayverse donatello x reader #bayverse donnie x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt x you #tmnt bayverse x you #bayverse donatello x you #donatello x you #donnie x you #bayverse donnie x you

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unclewaynemunson · 1 year

Text

Tadaaaa here is the sequel to this post, which came from an ask that got me in a chokehold for days now so kudos to the lovely anon who sent that prompt to me! You can also read the whole thing on ao3 :)

As soon as Eddie got into the passenger seat of his Wayne's truck, he saw the whole world go blurry. He tried to blink away his tears, but it was no use – nothing ever escaped his uncle's notice anyway.

'Wanna tell me what's wrong, boy?' he asked while he started the car.

Eddie grimaced. 'You know how they say you should never meet your heroes?'

'Hm?'

'Well, I met mine. On the fucking train. Just yet.'

Wayne shot him an incredulous glance.

'What was the Black Sabbath guy doin' on a train?'

'What? No, it wasn't... No.'

'The Hobbits guy?'

'Jesus Christ, Wayne, Tolkien died like fifteen years ago, keep up.'

'You want me to keep guessin' or you gonna tell me?'

Eddie rolled his eyes.

'Yeah, no, you wouldn't guess it right anyway. It's this poet.'

'Don't think I ever heard you talk 'bout poetry before,' Wayne remarked.

And that was exactly the thing. Ronan Right had been something... private. Something between Eddie and the faceless blob in his mind that embodied Right – and maybe Jeff. Okay, and Jeff's mom. But it wasn't someone he'd talk people's ears off about on any occasion he got, like he did with plenty of other musicians or writers that he'd get all obsessive about.

Until Steve, that was. Steve, who had been casually listening to his music. Steve, who had recognized the book in his hands and effortlessly opened the floodgates of his obsession. Steve, who had said the most beautiful things about Corroded Coffin without even knowing who Eddie was. Steve, who had talked with him about their shared passions for hours. Steve, who he now somehow had to merge with Right in his mind.

Steve, who seemed so perfect that it made all of Eddie's alarm bells go off at the loudest possible volume. Because this couldn't be real. This was something straight from a disgustingly sweet romcom scenario, and if there was anything Eddie could be certain about, it was that his life was no romcom.

So during the short walk from the station to Wayne's car, Eddie's head had already come up with a dozen scenarios that were completely spiraling out of control – even though they'd all make for great songs, no doubt about that. Steve would die some kind of tragic death on his way to their first date. Steve was secretly addicted to crack. Steve was a stalkerish fan who had lied to him about being Ronan Right to get close to him. Steve would cheat on him on their wedding day.

The list of possibilities was endless and terrifying – while the list of possibilities for this having a happy ending, on the other hand, was exceptionally short.

'Was it that bad?' asked Wayne while they headed out of the city.

Usually, Eddie enjoyed amping up his dramatics to a maximum around Wayne, providing the much-needed balance to his uncle's calm and steady demeanor. But right now, Eddie felt himself deflate in his seat. He couldn't bring himself to make a show out of it.

'No,' he said, quietly. 'He was perfect.'

And Wayne must've heard it in his voice, must've picked up right away that this wasn't Eddie being dramatic, that something serious was going on here, because he gave him this look that was cutting way too deep into his heart.

'Nobody can be that perfect, you know,' Eddie continued. 'It's impossible. And he – he gave me his number. And I just know that if I call it, and we get to know each other better, I'll get crushingly disappointed sooner rather than later. Because something has to be, like, disturbingly wrong with this guy.'

Anyone else than Wayne would probably tell Eddie that he was being ridiculous, that he should get over himself and call Steve; that he should allow himself to let good things happen to him or some shit. But Wayne wasn't just anyone. Wayne was the one person who knew exactly what Eddie meant. The one person who had seen from up-close the shitshow that Eddie's life had been, who had retained a front row seat through all of it. And he had had his own fair share of misery himself, Eddie knew that much. He was too old and had gotten punched down too many times to still hold naive illusions of the possibility of good things.

So he didn't give him some bullshit advice. He merely patted Eddie's knee and turned up the radio.

---

Ever since Eddie had left Hawkins, it had become a habit of him to stay with Wayne for a couple of weeks every now and then. For all his desires to get the hell out of that town when he was younger, he still spent way too much time at his uncle's trailer. But it wasn't Hawkins that he came back for, it was uncle Wayne.

It was home. And it helped him breathe whenever the city got too intense. Helped him get detached from everything that distracted him from the shit that actually mattered. Helped him get his head right when Chicago was threatening to make him lose it.

Time seemed to move differently in Hawkins than in the city. Slower. More naturally, too, somehow. Maybe it was because of the lack of nightlife and flashing neon signs when the world was supposed to be wrapped in darkness. The fact that he could still see the stars when he stepped out of the trailer at nighttime. Maybe it was the quiet, which allowed him to actually hear himself think. Or maybe it was the predictability of it all: Wayne waking him up with a cup of coffee in the morning, the two of them sharing cigarettes on the porch, Eddie helping Wayne with some chores and then trying to write new songs until well into the night, when the world was his and his alone.

He kept reading Right almost religiously, but it was different, now. Now that he could hear Steve's voice say those words, now that he could envision the way in which the sun shone on his hair through the dirty train window and the shape of his hands clutching a walkman that had Eddie's music in it. It was all different.

After a week, Eddie had a whole album worth of songs about the deception of things that seemed perfect. He hadn't been able to write even one song about things ending well, about things working out. That wasn't his life. Things never worked out. Why would they, for a boy born in a household where the trifecta of poverty, addiction and violence was all he had ever known? In the five albums he had produced so far, he'd never experienced a lack of demons to write about.

So no, he wouldn't be calling Steve, even though he had read the number that was written down on the sleeve of his own album so often that it'd probably be impossible to ever erase it from his mind again. He'd protect himself, this time. He'd cherish the hours he got to spend with Ronan Right, the memories that were already starting to feel like a fever dream, and not let his heart break any further. Not this time. Not again.

---

'Got mail for ya.'

An envelope landed in Eddie's lap.

'What's this?'

'I dunno, 's your mail,' Wayne answered.

Eddie didn't recognize the handwriting and the Indianapolis post stamp didn't give him much of a clue either. It didn't make sense that someone would send him a letter at his uncle's place.

He frowned, roughly tore open the envelope and pulled a single sheet of paper out of it. It was neither directed at nor signed by anyone, but that wasn't necessary for Eddie to know who sent it.

'What is it, boy?' Wayne asked, a worried edge to his voice upon hearing the choked sob that freed itself from Eddie's throat.

Eddie knew that the words were only meant for him. But he and Wayne were a unit, always had been, ever since Eddie moved into Forest Hills. So he wordlessly handed the paper to his uncle, roughly wiping the tears from his eyes.

Wayne assessed the text with a wrinkled forehead, holding the paper at an arm's-length in order to read it.

'That from the boy you met on the train?'

Eddie nodded.

When his uncle looked up from the letter, Eddie caught an almost unfamiliar look in his eyes. It was soft, hopeful. Optimistic.

'You know I ain't any good with words, like you, or this – this poet,' Wayne said. 'But this...' He pressed the letter back into Eddie's hand. 'This looks like he knows you, Ed. Like he sees you. For all that you are.'

He didn't tell Eddie what to do; that wasn't his style, never had been. But what he did say kept bouncing through Eddie's head unceasingly, making him unable to sleep, unable to write, unable to think about anything else.

---

Eddie desperately wanted to say something meaningful when Steve picked up the phone. He wanted to thank him for reaching out, to apologize for being too much of a coward to call earlier – but what came out of his mouth instead was, 'How did you know where to find me?'

'Eddie, is that you?' It sounded like Steve didn't quite believe it.

'Yeah – yeah, it's me,' was the only thing he managed to get out of his mouth.

'Look, I'm sorry if I overstepped,' Steve told him. 'I just – I couldn't get you out of my head and it all felt so right, you know, like fate or some shit, so I just had to... I needed to try. And I knew your name, and that you were staying with your uncle, so I got help from some friends and they managed to find your uncle's address.'

And as if Eddie hadn't been enough of an emotional wreck over the past week, his vision got blurry with tears yet again.

'Sorry, was it – did I go too far?' Steve sounded nervous.

Eddie could perfectly envision the way he would be frowning and anxiously running a hand through his hair; as if they had already shared a whole lifetime of getting to know all about each other's mannerisms instead of a few stolen hours on a train.

He hated the idea of Steve thinking he had done something wrong when all he ever did was so fucking right, so he determinedly shook his head, then realized Steve wouldn't be able to see that, and started scraping for words.

'No, Steve, you... You're perfect. And that scared the shit out of me, because so far, my life hasn't really done perfect. Most of our songs, they're – well – creative retellings of my own shit.' Now that he started talking, the words actually came a lot easier. 'They're all real, at the core, when you peel away the layers of, like, monster slaying and fantasy imagery. Like, everything underneath all that, it's all... me. Damage, betrayal, fear, violence – all that shit is true. Life hasn't been kind to me, Steve. And I was convinced that you'd only become an addition to that long list of crap, because you seemed way too perfect. I never thought I could have something good. And you're good, Steve, you're so fucking good. So I couldn't believe it.'

A long silence ensued at the other side of the line. Then, a sigh.

Then, 'Eddie,' in the softest voice possible, like his name was something breakable. Eddie didn't remember ever having heard his name said like that.

'I think that was exactly what I heard in your songs. Why I kept listening to them. Why they inspired me so much.'

Eddie tried to swallow away the lump in his throat, suffocated by the emotions bubbling up inside of him.

'I wish I could hold you, right now.'

Eddie's breath caught. He knew exactly what he needed to do: he needed to stop running. He needed to trust that Steve could be right, for him. That Steve could be something good.

'I mean, you could come over to Hawkins and do just that, you know,' he suggested.

'D'you want me to?'

He nodded, again forgetting that Steve couldn't see him.

'Yeah, I'd like that. Probably still got half that cookie somewhere in my pocket, y'know. Maybe we could share it.'

Credit where credit is due: the line “He sees you, for all that you are” isn't mine, it's one of my favorite quotes from Schitt's Creek and I really wanted Wayne to say that to Eddie about Steve, so here we have it <3

@ My beloved 🥐 anon: I hope you like this ending, and that I came close enough to your suggestion to have Steve make Eddie a character in his next poem <3

Taglist: @kathorakiryu @goodolefashionedloverboi @undreaming-rambles @fangirlycupcake @ghouligans-central @henderdads @dolphincliffs @anglhrts @ajamlessbaby @yearningagain @vampireinthesun @xxbottlecapx @kissaphobic-kas @mad-h-w @booksandsience @obsessivlyme @ppunkpuppyy @barnes-bestgirl @capital-p-platonic @eddiemunsonmeltdowns @callme-keys

#tumblr didn't wanna format the poem right so i hope it's not too annoying i ended up inserting it as an image #also i'm v nervous about this one bc i can't write poetry yet here i am pretending like i can #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #fruity ficlet

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thefrontofmymind · 1 year

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Helping Hand (Matty Healy x Reader)

Requests:

hi! i just came across your blog and read both your matty works! if your requests are open could you write a friends to lovers with matty? maybe a confession with tension from not knowing the other’s feelings? –anon

Could you write a Matty Healy smut where he and the reader share an apartment as friends. Reader comes home pissed and Matty offers to ✨take care✨ of the reader for the night. Reader also has a praise kink – @kmsmedine

Prompt idea: “you know I can fuck you better, right?” With matty –anon

WARNINGS: piv unprotected smut, blowjob, a little bit of alcohol consumption (lmk if i missed anything)

The way you’d describe your life, in a word, would be bittersweet. You had your dream job, a great family, a gorgeous apartment, but there was one part that was missing, an important part–you lacked a connection, at least in a way that was satisfying.

You hated the idea that you were some kind of cliche–you had everything you ever wanted except a boyfriend, it sounded like some half-arsed romcom you’d find on DVD in some bargain bin at a Poundstretcher. Sure, you weren’t completely hopeless, you could get a shag if you felt so inclined, when you felt so inclined. But your heart was never in it. Because of one man, your closest friend in the whole universe–and roommate–Matty.

You’d spent years pining over him. From the moment you’d met him, you could feel your heart jump every time he’d look your way, and then crack and crumble when he’d look elsewhere. It wasn’t from lack of trying with him–the first year of your friendship you tried your damnedest to get him to notice you in the way you craved.

The nail in the coffin came with his first serious relationship–a lovely girl called Heather, or Hannah, or some name like that–you pushed the feelings to the very back of your mind as best you could, but they refused to stay quiet. You had many a crises over what to do. You loved Matty, more than a friend, and even more than a lover, he was your person and you couldn’t bear the thought of living without him, no matter how painful it would be to see him hold another’s hand, whisper in an ear that wasn’t your’s, see the way he smirk at other girls in clubs when they’d tell him what they wanted to do to him on the cab ride home–something you could never get the courage to do.

Though once you’d mourned the loss of what may have been, you realised what you did have, a man who knew you like the back of his own hand and would run to you the second he was beckoned, though just platonically.

Eventually you began to put yourself out there, started seeing other men–nothing serious ever came of any of them, but it was a distraction, nonetheless. You’d simply made your peace with the situation and resigned yourself to the fact that it would never change.

You figured you’d never get one of those looks from Matty that you’d seen made other girls’ knees wobble, and you’d certainly never get that close to him, and you’d simply have to make do with any distraction you could find, as hopelessly downcast it seemed..

It was late on Thursday night, very late. You weren’t home yet and it worried Matty–he knew you’d have left work almost an hour ago and you hadn’t let him know you were going anywhere afterwards–it was all very unlike you.

He sat in your shared living room on the sofa, laptop in front of him as he fiddled around with some demos that George had sent him, though he was immediately pulled out of it when he heard the front door slam shut and saw you huff as you walked to your bedroom. He quickly got up and followed you, concerned.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist then?” He asked you as he was greeted with the sight of you sat down on your bed, taking off your boots and eyes that were full of tears–a horrible side affect of being left with your thoughts on the walk home.

“I’m not in the mood for a joke, Matty,” you sighed, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He was truly worried.

You took a second to collect your thoughts before you spoke. “Why is it that some guys just never learn, hey? Like they just do not care about the girls they’re fucking and don’t even try to give them attention?” Matty gave you a questioning look as he sat down next to you, seeing your wet eyes threatened to spill. “You remember that guy, Sam? The one I met at the work Christmas party last year?” Matty nodded. “Well, he asked me to go over to his after I got off work, and I went-uh-and he just doesn’t care.” You couldn’t stop the sob that came out as you finished your sentence. As if on instinct, Matty pulled you into his chest and let you cry, to which you had no protests. You had been building up for a while and it seemed you just couldn’t hold off the breaking point any longer.

“That’s so shit,” Matty said, holding you gently. “You deserve better than that.”

You sat in silence for a moment, you could smell the faint scent of weed and his regular cologne on Matty’s jumper.

You laughed. “Yeah, well it’s not like I really have any other prospects at the moment, so I’m just kinda stuck with Speedy Sam for now…”

Matty laughed with you for a second before his tone changed drastically. “C’mon, you’re a stunner! Surely you’ve got a lineup just waiting for ya?”

“No one else seems remotely interested…” You sighed. You knew it wasn’t productive to pity yourself the way you were, but you’d had a few glasses of wine at Sam’s so you couldn’t really help yourself.

“Well that’s just not true, now…” Matty muttered–under his breath but still loud enough that he knew you’d have heard it. You didn’t know how to answer him, you were simply gobsmacked–surely he didn’t mean what you thought he was hinting at? After all these years?

You tried to laugh it off, break the tension with some joke and asked Matty if there was any takeaway from the other night left in the fridge, but his face didn’t crack and he never broke eye contact, and that sobered you up really quick.

It felt like the earth had stopped turning and time had stopped ticking–it was just you and Matty at a stalemate in your apartment.

“Just something I thought about…” He mumbled as he got up and went back to the living room, leaving you wide-eyed and gobsmacked in your bedroom with a mind going a million miles a minute.

As if on autopilot, your legs carried you to the living room, standing right in front of Matty–who was ever-so unbothered and scrolling on his laptop. You didn’t quite know what to say, so you stood with wide eyes fixed right on him as you mulled over how you could ever respond in this situation.

“Can I help you?” He said, as if he didn’t drop a bomb on you merely a minute ago.

“You can’t just say that to me,” you said with a deadly serious tone that even took you by surprise.

Matty closed his laptop and stood up so you were eye-to eye. “I only said it because it was true.”

“Wha-” You couldn’t speak, all the air in your throat felt trapped, you couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be happening.

“You know I can fuck you better, right?” He said, without a microgram of hesitation nor taunting in voice, while his eyes stayed unwavering and staring into yours. “Better than that dickhead and any other guy you’ve been with since I’ve known you.”

You could barely stutter out an answer, you knew what you wanted to say–you had fantasies of a proposition like this from Matty for years, you’d resigned yourself that it would never happen and that was just something you had to make peace with. You needed to tell him, and now.

“Then prove it,” you said, a small waver in your tone, showing the sliver of trepidation.

Matty’s thumb lightly rubbed the side of your cheek, not breaking eye contact. “Can I kiss you?”

“I think you should,” you answered, feeling so much anxiety at this newfound revelation in your best friend and roommate.

His lips were ever-so soft against yours, giving you the chance to pull away, should you want to, but you didn’t. Without thinking, you grabbed the fabric of the collar of the hoodie he was wearing and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. You couldn’t quite process what was happening, your mind felt like mush as you lightly bit on his bottom lip, earning a stifled moan from Matty. You eventually had to break the kiss to get a proper breath in, as much as you wish you didn’t have to. You stayed close–nose-to-nose–as you caught your breaths.

“So your room or mine?” He asked.

You pulled him back to your mouth, this time with a bit more ferocity, and your hands quickly found their way to his hair as he grabbed at your waist. You both managed to stumble to your room–the closer one–without breaking the kiss. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be doing, and you were just glad it was finally happening, not just in your mind when you were alone and bored.

Matty quickly pulled away to take off his hoodie, while you rid yourself of the sweaty and dishevelled blouse you’d worn to work that day. Before you knew it, you’d gotten completely bare in front of him–you weren’t scared or worried or insecure, it was Matty, he knew you, so there was nothing for you to be afraid of, nor him.

He sat on your bed before you, you didn’t quite know how to proceed. You’d been through so many scenarios like this in your head, you were overwhelmed.

“C’mere, darling,” he said, holding out a hand to take yours and guiding you to straddle him–it all felt much more sincere and…intimate…than before–you finally realised this was real and it was happening.

Matty locked his arms around your waist as you began to kiss down his neck and into the crook of his shoulder, eliciting a breathy moan from the top of his throat. His hands began to wander down your back and he took grip of your ass cheeks as he kissed you again.

Your hands soon found their way to his cock, slowly giving it a couple of strokes before you readjusted so you could press a warm kiss to its head.

Matty’s head was spinning, never did he think he would ever have a chance with you, in the years of your friendship. He was simply too scared to say anything, and it got to a point that he’d come to the conclusion that he’d left that grace period of early-friendship confusion well in the past and there was nothing he could do about it, so he tried to move on–girlfriend after girlfriend, with as many pointless hook ups in between, but they all weren’t you. It was a miracle you hadn’t punched him in the face for what he said; he’d had a couple glasses of wine and it went straight to his head, giving him the confidence to do what he truly wanted to in the first place.

Matty sunk into a sea of ecstasy as your lips closed around him and his cock inched further and further into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat.

“Oh darling,” he barely managed to stutter out between moans as he gently grabbed a handful of your hair and your tongue swirled around his tip. “Ple-please just let me fuck you.”

“I think you should.” You said as Your mouth was replaced by your hand and you looked at his face to answer him–his lips parted and eyes almost completely shut from pleasure. You weren’t sure where the sudden confidence you exuded came from, but you were sure glad it appeared when it did.

Soon enough, you were once again straddling Matty’s lap, his cock rubbing against your entrance–you felt like your head was just about ready to explode from the anticipation.

“Are you ready, baby?” Matty whispered, leaving a trail of kisses from your ear to the crook of your shoulder. You couldn’t find the words to speak, so you let out a hum and a fervent nod, and that was enough for him.

You felt so full as each inch of him entered you, leaving you a moaning mess immediately. Matty was in a similar state, breathing deeply and trying to blink away the stars in his vision of you. You began to move, just a little, which made the pleasure increase tenfold–leaving you twitching and whining every time Matty hit your g-spot. He took hold of your hips, helping you bounce on his cock.

“So…so good…So good fo’ me…” he moaned, leaving you smiling to yourself.

As time went on, your legs began to grow tired, and Matty noticed as your movements slowed.

“Want me to be on top?” He asked in between feverish kisses wherever he could place them.

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “M’legs are getting sore.”

After some readjustment, Matty was now hovering above you, while one of your legs wrapped around his hip to keep him close. His thrusts were slower than you were expecting–going as deep as he could get. One of his hands was holding himself up from next to your head, while the other found its way to your clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles on to the swollen bud.

It all just felt so comfortable, so natural–not at all like a first fuck, the two of you moved so in sync with each other, you’d think you’d been together for years with just how responsive you were to each other.

You felt your lungs get tighter as your breathing got shallower, and a tension began to grow between your thighs. You urged Matty to go faster, to which he obliged with a smirk that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

All at once, everything let go, and you were sent into orbit as you released–all the while moaning and whining which only spurred Matty on more, soon reaching his release as well before collapsing on top of you, fully spent.

The two of you laid there on your bed in silence for a little while, Matty’s softening cock still inside you. There was something so intimate about the whole situation, you couldn’t keep your eyes off his face as he caught his breath with a small grin on his face. You noticed freckles on his nose, faint lines around his eyes, things you’d never had the chance, nor the right before this, to see.

Eventually, Matty moved to face you before speaking. “That was…” He um’d and ah’d for a moment, trying to find the right words. “It was everything I’ve ever hoped it was.”

“Really?” You never thought of Matty hoping something would happen, and what it would be like.

“And more,” he added, kissing you again while you chuckled in the afterglow. You both began to drift into the lull of sleep in each other’s arms. “And I never want to hear about Speedy Sam again…”

#matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #matty healy smut

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