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allaboutthemoonlight · 18 days

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How to Build Self Discipline

Cultivating self-discipline is the way towards personal growth and achieving long-term goals. To me, it’s really all about making choices that honor your well-being and identity.

Understand that self-discipline is about self love and respect

It’s not about punishment or deprivation, but rather caring for yourself enough to make choices that align with your long-term well-being and goals.

You’re showing yourself the respect you deserve by honoring and committing to changes you want to make.

It’s all about recognizing your worth and having the motivation and courage to pursue what’s really best for you, even when it requires a lot of effort and decision-making.

Frame your identity in a way that includes discipline

How we act directly ties to our identities and how we believe we are. If you believe you’re a successful individual, you’ll live a life framed by confidence and determination. If you believe you’re someone who is lazy and unmotivated, you’ll struggle to find the drive to pursue your goals and aspirations.

Gaining discipline is all about acting as the person you believe you are and moving through life in a way that’s consistent with your determined identity. The key here is to try to imagine who you are at your highest self in a disciplined state of mind.

To start this, ask yourself these questions and slowly arrange your life in a way so there’s no distance between who you are now and your highest self:

What does your day look like

What do you eat

What do you wear

What does your week look like

What does your work day look like

What hobbies do you have

What’s your morning and night routine

Who are you surrounded by

What do you say yes and no to

Have systems in your life

I recently wrote a post about habits and mentioned the idea of systems versus goals. Here, I want to delve a bit deeper into that concept within the context of self-discipline.

To me, another way to truly live a disciplined life is to establish starting systems, something that will propel you past hurdles and reduce the friction that accompanies change.

Let’s say you want to improve your eating habits and cultivate discipline in consuming less sugar while incorporating more whole foods into your diet. You could begin by implementing a system of prepping healthy snacks or meals in advance at the start of each week, or however you see fit. By having these snacks readily available, you eliminate the need for decision-making, making it easier to adhere to your goal.

Anything that serves as a reminder or facilitates consistent action toward your desired outcome is a valuable system in your life.

Be okay with not doing something and embrace the mindset of small wins

This may seem paradoxical in the context of developing self-discipline, but being okay with not doing something is crucial. There are times in life when we need tough love and motivation, but there are also moments when compassion is the driving force that propels us forward.

When you don’t follow through with something, whether it’s going for a run or preparing a healthy dinner, it’s important to be okay with it. You don’t need to shame yourself or feel guilty for not taking action because that will only reinforce negative thought patterns, making it harder to create the change you desire.

Consider this: if you miss a planned run and spiral into self-criticism, you’re more likely to avoid running altogether. However, if you approach the situation with understanding and compassion, you’ll be more inclined to try again next time.

This is where small daily victories come into play. Sometimes, all we need is one small step forward to develop a new habit and maintain consistency. Whatever you're striving to improve or change, if it feels daunting, tell yourself, "Just for today, I'll do a 15-minute workout instead of the full hour," or "Just for today, I'll read 5 pages instead of the entire chapter," and celebrate these as small victories. Doing so not only helps you establish new habits but also allows you to acknowledge the progress you've made and the trust you've built within yourself.

—Luna

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inbarfink · 9 months

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So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered.

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has.

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well.

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again?

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

#undertale #ut #utdr #sans #sans undertale #sans ut #undertale analysis

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sluttywonwoo · 6 months

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instead of you [part thirty-three] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, angst, discussions of plane disasters, mentions of sex (mdni ; 18+)

word count: 3k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

additional a/n: disclaimer that this chapter and the following chapters take place on oahu and kauai, hawai'i. i wrote this a year ago (originally posted on sept. 22, 2022) and included mentions of the negative impact and sentiment tourism in hawai'i procures, but it was before the fires in maui. i included hawai'i in their vacation in the first place because i'm part hawaiian and wanted to bring attention to our people's attitude toward tourists while also writing about the parts of the islands that i grew up loving. and i thought i should clarify that before posting, as i feel the context is important to precede what would be an otherwise distasteful choice if i had written this now. please keep hawai'i in your thoughts, mahalo plenty <3

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

Predictably, you cried yourself to sleep. You debated over whether or not to tell Minho. He’d probably find out when he woke up in the morning but would he be mad if he didn’t hear it from you? If Jisung was right, he didn’t care about you at all, so why would you grant him the courtesy of a head’s up? You didn’t want to believe Jisung, rather, you wanted to believe that he had only said those things in the heat of the moment but at the end of the day, he knew Minho far better than you did. Whether or not he was telling the truth to try and save you or lying to hurt you was up to you to decipher.

You wound up texting Minho, ‘Jisung knows,’ without any other context and calling it a night.

The next morning, you woke up to a message from Jisung telling you not to bother getting ready for the day and that he’d be going on without you. It was mostly a relief not to have to put on an act after everything that happened the night before but it also stung.

You weren’t very optimistic about repairing your relationship with Jisung, but any lingering hope vanished when he wouldn’t even look at you in passing in the hallway.

You spent the entire day in bed, trying to distract yourself with anything you could think of to pass the time. You scrolled through social media until your timelines stopped refreshing with new content. There wasn’t anything interesting enough on TV to pull you out of spiraling so you didn’t even bother trying to find something to hold your attention.

At one point you remembered the book you were reading but as soon as you opened it you were greeted by all of Jisung’s little annotations he had left for you. He still had your book and you wondered if he would ever finish it now that you’d ruined everything.

You thought about texting him, just to check in or try and talk about things but you didn’t want to bother him. A couple of times, you almost texted him just out of instinct. You would go to send him a tweet that you thought he’d find funny and then remember.

Minho came by your room that night after dinner when everyone was back from the day’s activities. He knocked twice, letting himself in before you’d even finished telling him he could enter.

“Care to explain what happened?” he asked, hands on his hips.

You shrugged noncommittally. “Jisung found out.”

“How? Did you tell him?”

“And ruin my own relationship with my best friend? Yeah, definitely.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “I didn’t come here to argue. I just want to know what happened.”

“Then don’t accuse me of shit.”

“I didn’t mean- I’m sorry. That’s not what I was trying to do.”

You sighed and signaled for him to sit down if he wanted to. He did, perching himself on the edge of the bed cautiously.

“He knows because he noticed me sneaking out and finally decided to follow me.”

The color drained from Minho’s face. “So he heard-”

You nodded. “I don’t know how much, but enough.”

“Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.”

“He wouldn’t say a word to me today,” Minho said.

“He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“I guess we knew this would happen eventually.”

“Yeah.”

“We fucked up.”

“Yeah.”

“You were right.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows.

“We really do deserve each other.”

Oh. What Jisung had said earlier rang through your ears again.

“I guess I was.”

Just then, the door to the bedroom opened and Jisung walked in, scoffing as he passed his brother.

“I should have known,” he muttered to himself.

“Ji, look-” Minho tried, only to be immediately cut off by his younger brother.

“Don’t. Please just fucking don’t.”

“But-”

“God, you never listen to a word I say, do you? Either of you?”

You wanted to protest that you did listen to him but you thought better of it. It wouldn’t help your case at all. Instead, you sat there silently like a child being scolded.

“I don’t want to hear you explain yourself,” Jisung continued. “I don’t care why you fucked my best friend. I think the act in itself doesn’t need an explanation.” Minho opened his mouth to respond but Jisung cut him off again. “I don’t want to hear an apology either. I already know you don’t mean it. In fact, I think we’re done here so if you wouldn’t mind getting the fuck out of my room...”

Minho looked like he wanted to argue but likely knew it wouldn’t do any good so he simply hung his head and let himself out, bidding you a quiet goodnight as he left. You didn’t respond. You didn’t even acknowledge him. How could you?

“Don’t forget to pack your things for the flight tomorrow. It’s a long one.”

You sat there, stunned. You hadn’t expected Jisung to speak to you at all, let alone say something amicable.

“O-ok thanks,” you responded shakily.

“I’m sleeping in here tonight,” he added.

“Oh-” you scrambled up, preparing to leave but Jisung stopped you.

“No, I meant with you. It’d look weird if I slept on the couch again.”

Of course. Keeping up appearances.

“Is it even worth it to do this anymore?” you asked. “I mean, it’s falling apart at the seams.”

“It’ll be fine,” Jisung argued. “It’s just a few more weeks.”

“Do you really want to keep pretending to be in love with someone you hate?”

He froze, still bent over his suitcase. Then he straightened up and turned to face you.

“I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t think I could ever hate you. I’ve been trying, trust me.”

You weren’t sure how to take that. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to take it. You tried not to let his words stoke the embers of hope you were still clinging on to but it was already proving difficult.

“Maybe with time,” you suggested.

He shrugged. “Ready for bed?”

You managed to get some sleep, despite everything. It took a while for your heart to calm down as you lay there beside your (ex?) best friend who was already snoring softly. He had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. You weren’t sure how he was able to drift off so easily in spite of your whole friendship falling apart but perhaps the stress was only one-sided.

You were the one being eaten alive by anxiety and guilt. All he had to do was mourn the loss of everything you destroyed.

The hours of sleep you did get passed quickly without dreams which was unusual for you. Before you knew it, Jisung’s alarm was going off and both of you were groaning as you dragged yourself out of bed.

You finished packing the rest of your things in relative silence. Neither of you had much to say aside from when you passed each other’s things back and forth from your suitcases.

The sun had yet to come up when the rest of the Hans gathered in the kitchen with their luggage. Since the flight was over twelve hours long Jisung’s parents had booked the earliest possible departure which just so happened to be before the sunrise.

The boys slept during the ride to the airport but you weren’t able to. You were squished between Jisung and Minho in the very back of the van, feeling like a pin in a grenade. They ignored each other, of course, both seemingly dead to the world.

Minho woke up before Jisung. He glanced over at you and offered an expression of sympathy. You just shrugged in response.

Sitting in the car like that caused your knees to brush up against each other every so often, each time you rounded a corner or went over a speed bump. Every time it happened you fought the urge to meet his eyes. The touch, be it fleeting, made your chest tighten over and over again until you were half-convinced you were going into cardiac arrest. Eventually, Minho gave up trying to give you space and just let his knee rest against yours. Funnily enough, it helped you relax.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s fine.”

He was so hard to read these days. Not that he was ever easy to read. You couldn’t tell whether or not he liked having his knee there. You weren’t sure why you were getting so caught up on it in the first place.

You longed to hold his hand. You longed to hold Jisung’s hand. But all you could do was sit there in between the two and wait until you finally arrived at the airport.

Thankfully, Minho was sat with his parents for the flight, which meant you were squeezed in between Jisung and Felix. You gave Jisung the window seat, knowing you wouldn’t get any sleep yourself. He looked like he wanted to argue when you offered it to him but ultimately surrendered when he saw the look in your eyes. You compromised for switching halfway through since the flight was so long but even that seemed to be pushing it for him.

It was funny how Jisung was still looking out for you after everything you had done. It was as if it was instinctual to him, to put you before himself. The realization almost made you tear up. Had you cared that much for him too? Or was it all one-sided? Either way, you were positive you didn’t deserve him.

Dom had chosen Hawai’i as his destination. A controversial choice, given the state of tourism at the moment, but it wasn’t like you had much say in the matter. Jisung had confided in you earlier in the trip that he had tried to talk his father out of it but that he couldn’t be swayed.

“We might as well try to make the most of it,” you argued. “It’s like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

The flight from Bali to Hawai’i was over twelve hours long which meant that you had roughly six hours to figure out how to entertain yourself before it was time to trade places. You could try to sleep but that meant leaning on Jisung and you were almost positive the last thing he wanted was for you to touch him right now.

You didn’t feel like paying for the in-flight wi-fi so you had to get creative with how to keep yourself busy. You scrolled through your camera roll for a while but it just made you sad. The pictures from the trip were one thing, but then there were all of the ones of you and Jisung back at school. The further back you went, the happier you seemed. There was no way that was actually true, it was just putting more distance between what had happened in the present from the way things were in the past. That, and you had a tendency to romanticize the past.

“Did you know flight attendants are trained to take oxygen masks from passengers?”

Felix’s voice from beside you pulled you from your spiral of self-pity almost immediately. You turned to look at him and cocked your head in confusion.

“What?”

“Like, you know that whole spiel they give you about safety before the plane takes off? And they’re like ‘during the flight, oxygen masks might drop from overhead’?”

“No, I know all of that. Why would they take the masks from passengers? Do they not have their own?”

“They do, but they might need to move around the cabin when that happens in case of an emergency or something, and if that were to be the case, they’re trained to take masks from passengers to oxygenate themselves. They’ll give it back, but in order to do their jobs they might have to borrow one without asking.”

“What if the passenger passes out?”

“Then they’ll be able to help them! Because they’re fully oxygenated.”

You made a face. “I’m glad you’ve got the aisle seat, then.”

Felix shrugged, grinning. “It sounds fucked up, but it’s just logistical. Wanna know something actually fucked up? These seat belts are practically useless.”

“What?” you weren’t sure if you really wanted to know where he was going with this but your morbid curiosity got the better of you once again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, they help with turbulence and stuff but in the event of a crash, these aren’t going to do shit for us. They’re just here to keep us strapped to the seat so they can identify the corpses by looking at the flight log.”

You sat there in stunned silence as the information Felix had just told you sunk in.

“That is... so dark,” you said finally.

“Yeah, but isn’t it interesting?”

“I guess, but why did you have to tell me all of this while we’re in the air?”

“Because it’s relevant!”

You sighed and glanced back at Jisung who was asleep and slumped against the window. “Ready to switch?”

It was just a joke but Felix scoffed nonetheless.

“I’m offended,” he whispered.

“And I’m traumatized.”

“My bad.”

Somehow, Felix kept you occupied until it was time to switch with Jisung. You lost track of time talking to him about everything and nothing. Out of all of the Han brothers, Felix was the one you knew the least.

You learned a lot about him in the six and a half hours you sat next to each other. You learned that he, like Jisung, had a passion for photography. He liked anime but manga adaptations always disappointed. He wanted to be a dancer when he was little, just like his big brother.

When it was Felix’s turn to inquire about you, you were sort of at a loss for words. You had to tread carefully around how much to actually reveal about yourself. When to lie, when to stretch the truth. You were exhausted. It was exhausting. But Jisung had made it clear that this was still important to him despite you not seeing the point anymore. So you played along for his sake. It was the least you could do since you ruined everything else.

You talked mostly about school, what you were studying, what you wanted to do with your degree... all the small talk that usually took place when you first met a person, not after you’d been traveling with them for over a month. But Felix didn’t know a lot about you interests wise so he listened intently and asked a lot of questions.

When it was finally time to actually switch, you were half-relieved, half-bummed. Talking with Felix was fun but you hated lying to him.

Jisung lifted up the armrest between you and him to let you slide over while he stood awkwardly in the aisle.

“Do you want to use my hoodie as a blanket, baby?” he asked.

“Sure, thanks.”

He laid it over your shoulders after you got settled against the window, kissing you on the head and telling you goodnight.

You shut your eyes and tried to relax but sleep wouldn’t come. You knew it wouldn’t. You took deep breaths in an attempt to slow your heart rate, lowkey considering holding your breath until you passed out.

Next to you, Jisung was flipping through the in-flight movies. You could hear him tapping on the touchscreen, huffing in frustration when he couldn’t find anything he wanted to watch.

“You okay, bro?” Felix asked his twin.

You felt Jisung sort of shift, likely checking to see if you were asleep. He sighed.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Relationship troubles?” Felix guessed.

“Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been pissy for like, the past two days. I assumed it had something to do with your girlfriend.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping well,” he explained simply, lying through his teeth. Well, it wasn’t technically a lie because you weren’t sleeping well, but that had nothing to do with why Jisung was upset. “The exhaustion has been leading to a lot of fights.”

“Sorry, man.”

“It’s okay. It happens. Not that you would know.”

Felix scoffed. “Ouch, I try to have a heart-to-heart with you and you go there?”

“This is a heart-to-heart to you?”

“You know what I mean. A real conversation.”

“Okay, but I’m right. You wouldn’t know.”

“Not all of us can have healthy relationships like you, Jisung,” he sighed.

“I know. I think I’m mom and dad’s only chance at grandchildren at this point.”

“Not if our brother has anything to say about it,” Felix said lowly.

“What do you mean?” Jisung asked.

He sounded genuinely confused but you knew that internally he was panicking because you were too. You were still pretending to be asleep but you had stopped breathing, waiting to hear what he would say next. How much did Felix know? You and Minho weren’t great at sneaking around but you had at least tried to be a little careful.

“You mean you haven’t noticed the way Minho looks at her?”

“Not really? But you spend more time with him. You know him better than I do.”

“Well, you should pay more attention. He makes it kind of obvious,” Minho muttered.

“Makes what kind of obvious, though?”

“That he wants her.”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you haven’t caught on to him flirting with her.”

“Well obviously he’s doing it behind my back so-”

“Sorry you had to find out this way,” Felix said, likely grimacing, “but at least she isn’t reciprocating, from what I’ve seen.”

“Yeah, at least there’s that,” Jisung murmured.

You were able to exhale in relief, but only slightly. Felix didn’t know everything but he could tell Minho was interested which wasn’t a good sign. How long had he been picking up on that?

Your best friend sighed angrily. “The one thing I thought Minho couldn’t take from me-”

You bit the inside of your cheek, guilt consuming you all over again.

“Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?” Felix asked. “He hasn’t even made a move or anything, mate. I just think he thinks she’s cute.”

“With Minho, that’s enough.”

i'm sick so no tags :(( but i've got nothing else to do so here ya go, lmk what you think I always appreciate feedback!!

add yourself to the taglist here!

#instead of you stray kids #instead of you skz #iou stray kids #iou skz #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #lee know x reader #lee know x female reader #lee know x bi!reader #lee know series #stray kids series #stray kids fanfic #lee know fanfic #lee minho x reader #minho x reader

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the-rollerchloster · 2 months

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Parasocial relationships are strange. Parasocial relationships in a fandom like this one can be even stranger.

I want to preface this by saying that everyone is entitled to their feelings, and feelings are sometimes completely irrational. I am also aware that sometimes our feelings are driven by incomplete thoughts, and have a tendency to overwhelm us and those around us before we can process them. In saying that, I have seen a lot of conflicting emotions and reactions to the reveal that Misha Collins has a "serious" girlfriend (and a large cock apparently, but that is a whole other thing), and I know I shouldn't be surprised by it, but part of me is.

There was a conversation in my discord server over the complicated feelings people have about this news. As a cockles-friendly space this was to be expected, as any new development in the lives of either half of JenMish often spurs these kinds of conversations, but as it started to get emotional I was thanked for bringing some perspective. I hope that I can help anyone who also needs a different way of viewing this situation by making this post, while also helping myself to organise my own chaotic and complicated thoughts.

As I understand it, during the It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time event at this weekend's Burbank convention, Misha told a fun anecdote about gift-giving with his new girlfriend and her daughter, wherein Misha got some things delivered to said girlfriend directly from Amazon, and girlfriend wrapped them for the daughter including what she thought was a microphone but was actually another similarly shaped item not intended for children at all. He continued to say that this "microphone" was for his girlfriend so she wouldn't need to go searching elsewhere for intimacy, as they are currently living in separate states. Now, I was not at the event, and the lack of recordings (recording was strictly prohibited, so if you've got one shame on you, I don't want to know about it!) means that everything I will ever know about this story and the way it was told to the small audience who were lucky enough to be able to attend this event comes as a form of the Telephone game, and therefore lacks a whole lot of body language, tone and context. We, as a fandom, have been severely burnt by this kind of missing nuance before - think DenverCon'21 - and it's these kinds of kneejerk reactions that have the potential to spiral out of control and limit the things we get told at future events - think bishagate.

Think for a second about your personal perception of Misha Collins. He's chaotic, he can be a little self-deprecating or self-effacing, he likes to turn serious anecdotes into jokes. He is also a passionate and caring man, who has a lot of respect and appreciation for his fans. Think about the way he tells anecdotes at standard con panels - it's often a bit tongue-in-cheek, a bit sarcastic, a bit exaggerated - so why would his behaviour at this event, which was specifically set up for Misha to tell stories he wouldn't normally have the space to do in a convention setting, be any different?

I am going to go through my thoughts on some of the things I have seen mentioned about what this all means…

First off, the elephant in the room, what does this mean for Cockles? To me, absolutely nothing. Whatever Jensen and Misha have going on completely transcends a standard sexual and/or romantic relationship. Misha was in his relationship with Vicki for the majority of his life, including when he met Jensen, and we all know she literally wrote a book on polyamory; his perception of relationships is literally shaped and moulded by this, and it's not something he's going to just switch off. Danneel has been a permanent fixture in the cockles dynamic this entire time as well. The JenMish panel at Burbank this weekend will hopefully alleviate any of the doubt anyone is having here, and give us some knowledge that regardless of how Misha defines his relationship status, things will continue in the same chaotic, loving and ridiculous nature we've become accustomed to.

Which segues nicely into the implication that the vibrator was purchased so she wouldn't stray, and therefore their relationship is monogamous. See above thoughts about tongue-in-cheek, exaggerated and self-effacing - when I imagine him telling this story, I see that cheeky, gummy grin going the whole time. Without the nuance of watching this unfold, I think we are all safest to assume that this was a joke, not a firm declaration that he has left his polyamorous attitudes behind.

On thoughts of him "moving on too soon" from his marriage and subsequent divorce, this is where my own feelings get complicated as well, but also where we need to remember that the key feature of a parasocial relationship is that we only see and know what he wants us to. We don't actually know what the trigger for that dissolution was, so in terms of the actual calendar timing it might seem soon, but emotional development and change doesn't run on a standard calendar. We don't know how long the process was before the decision was made to separate. I am currently working through a messy separation, and while I can pinpoint the decision to somewhere in the past 6-12 months, my marriage has realistically been dead for 3+ years, and we're a (supposedly) monogamous couple. As a poly couple, I can imagine that Misha and Vicki worked through every alternative option possible before landing on the decision to formally separate, and had probably well and truly been through the mourning period before it was even all over. Adult relationships are complex at the best of times, and no one ever truly knows what is happening in them except the people involved. I also think that as a man who is nearing 50 and just come out of very long term relationship, that he doesn't actually know how to be "alone", nor does he want to…

Lastly, for some of us, this is someone important in our lives who has found happiness in another person when perhaps we don't have that for ourselves. When those feelings hit, they can be extremely disheartening, and I want to send all my loving thoughts to anyone who falls into this category. It's difficult when the envy turns your stomach in knots and then your thoughts spiral into all the things wrong that mean that no matter how much you want to you can't just be happy for someone. Love and life are complicated, human beings are complicated, society is complicated. There is this hugely widespread and toxic mentality that we are all raised on that says we are halves of something that is destined to find our other half in order to feel whole, and it's utter bullshit. We shouldn't need one singular significant other to feel complete, and sometimes we get so determined to find that someone that we end up sacrificing ourselves to make them fit. (see also; Daniel Sloss' thoughts on this subject in his stand-up special Jigsaw)

There are many different kinds of love, many different kinds of relationships, and many different kinds of people. If anyone proves that to us, it's Misha Collins. He is walking evidence that human life is chaotic and unpredictable and indeterminate and we can make our own fucking rules. I hope that we can collectively be respectful of him, no matter what (or who) he chooses, and feel grateful for everything he trusts us enough to share.

#thoughts #this is probably a mess #i don't really know if i have a point #but i needed to collect it somewhere #misha collins #burcon 24 #it seemed like a good idea at the time #cockles #misha's gf #misha if you're lurking in your tag go away 😅#long post

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steddieunderdogfics · 2 months

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Pricklywhicket/@messessentialist ! Prickleywhicket has four fics published to AO3 -- All in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by pricklywhicket:

so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey

it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)

start by pulling him out of the fire

"Sadie is so super talented in the way she describes literally everything. She is so good at writing and it's a shame that she's flown under the radar because she's not the quickest at putting things out there." -- Anonymous

Below the cut, Pricklywhicket answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Why do any of us write anything? Because we want the story to exist in the world, and it doesn’t yet, so we gotta hike up our pants and do it ourselves!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Hurt/Comfort. I’m always a sucker for the blorbos taking care of one another, in whatever form that takes. This has always been true, across a truly astronomical number of fandoms I’ve found myself dabbling in over the years.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

…actually, probably hurt/comfort! I just need to get those little dudes some validation and unconditional positive regard, okay?

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m sure I won’t be the first one to say this, but: I HAVE TO PICK ONE????? Okay, alright. I can do this. I’m gonna say…Sanctuary by SpicedSage.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve only written canon or canon-adjacent fic so far, so I’m eager to work on something that’s completely AU. I think there’s a unique challenge to keeping characters recognizable as themselves in a world that might not have all the same contexts that made them into that person.

What is your writing process like?

I would love to say it’s super organized and well-planned, but the truth is it’s mostly about routine and responsibility. I set aside time to do it every day, even if I can only tap out a few sentences. I’m not very strict about writing in a straight line - I can stop a scene if it’s giving me trouble, write a note about what I think happens in some [brackets], and move on to something that I have more fully fleshed-out ideas for. Sometimes writing the next scene helps you know more about what needs to happen in the current one.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I'm sure my betas would say yes 🙃 I tend to write a lot of dialogue - a lot of my revision process is going back through and realizing I have two pages of a conversation with no indication of what’s physically happening in the world around the speakers.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely when I’m finished. Prior to my ‘23 bang fic, I had never written anything chaptered. I knew going in that I could NOT start posting if it wasn’t finished, because I’ve been burned too many times by abandoned works. I didn’t want to do that to people reading my fic, and the best way to avoid it is to finish before you post.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Easily start by pulling him out of the fire. The biggest, most ambitious thing I’ve ever attempted - I still kind of can’t believe I wrote 85k.

How did you get the idea for start by pulling him out of the fire?

Like most terrible ideas, it was spawned in a fandom discord chat. We were discussing the tendency of Steddie fics to centralize the party at Steve’s house, because his parents are never there anyway. And then someone mentioned what if the parents came home and found their house occupied, and someone else mentioned Wayne being there, and it just sort of…spiraled out from there.

When writing start by pulling him out of the fire, what was something you didn’t expect?

I had no idea, going in, that I was going to write a comprehensive history of the Wayne and Eddie Munson relationship. I started writing it where I did to give some background on Wayne’s existing distaste for the elder Harrington, and then I just…kept writing. Over the course of a month or two I wrote 20k of WayneAndEddie that I had no idea was in me - it just kept coming.

What inspired it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

@wynnyfryd. It was a gift for her birthday. We were talking about our mutual love of Letterkenny, and she mentioned that the episode was her favorite and wouldn’t it be funny if someone wrote… and the rest is history.

What was your favorite part to write from it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

I had an unreasonable amount of fun with that one in general. But I think my favorite part was Eddie polling the party about what Steve means to them all. It was fun to sort of put myself in each character’s shoes and think about how they would answer. Plus y’know, any excuse to unironically love on Steve Harrington.

How do/did you feel writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey?

I believe my exact words upon deciding to write it were “jingles miserably to a blank google doc.” This was a classic case of saying “god I wish there was a fic where—” and having friends tell me that it was now my responsibility to write it. I’m glad I did, though. I love that story, and it proved to me that I could write sex and publish it and not burst into flames. I also just really, really love summer storms. And Wayne’s use of the singular ‘herpe.’

What was the most difficult part of writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats honey?

Getting over the fear of publishing something E-rated. It was just something I hadn’t done, and I had a lot of anxiety that people were not going to respond well to it. I made three people individually review the sex scenes before I even asked anyone to beta the full fic. Of course I was worried for nothing, the reception for that fic was super lovely and gave me the confidence boost I needed to attempt start by pulling him out of the fire!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

This is like asking me to pick a favorite child. I’ll say this: most of my favorite lines in start by pulling him out of the fire were taken directly from conversations @wormdebut and I had about the fic. She’s my number one cheerleader and sounding board, and sometimes she’s so goddamn funny that I just have to include it. You have her to thank, for instance, for Steve quite literally dropping his croissant when he first sees Eddie in glasses.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a couple of irons in the fire, but nothing I’m ready to share just yet! I’ve been taking a breather from writing (blame baldur’s gate 3, okay) but my WIPs are still very much IP. Stay tuned!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Not that I can think of!

Thank you to our author, Pricklywhicket, and our anonymous nominator! See more of pricklywhicket's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's wednesday #writers on tumblr #steddie writers #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things

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irisbleufic · 6 months

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So, I spent the last 5 days of sitting around with this serious arm injury rereading the very first epic fic series I ever wrote. Although the posting dates on the below chapters are all 18 November 2013, the reality is that these were originally posted as individual stories on LiveJournal throughout the entirety of 2004 and into the spring of 2005. Those were my junior and senior years of college. This series was the last thing I relocated from LJ to AO3, and I was too exhausted to do a proper comb-through for typos and minor formatting issues.

Well, that state of things is no more. I cleaned up all of the editorial issues during this week’s rewatch-the-film-and-reread-my-fic binge. I also changed the names of a few of the chapters (they’re really stories strung together), although not drastically. The chapter called “Clippings” used to be called “Business,” “Spiral” used to be called “You Must Listen to Me Now,” and “Closer to Fine” used to be called “The Middle of Things.”

I had an ask a few days ago along the lines of: What the hell is Toy Soldiers, anyway? On the surface, it’s a 1991 action movie/teen drama. It stars a young Sean Astin and Wil Wheaton as Billy Tepper and Joey Trotta, the central protagonists among the cast of younger characters. At the time I saw it in early 2004, I had only ever seen Sean Astin in The Lord of the Rings. And, incredibly, I didn’t even know who Wil Wheaton was.

That might be one reason I was able to take this film to heart so earnestly (i.e. I completely lacked knowledge of Wesley Crusher, Wheaton’s Star Trek character from around that time who it was traditional to mock, although I still don’t get why). However, the primary reason this film wrecked the back end of my 2004 spring break was that I had watched The Celluloid Closet for the first time only days before watching Toy Soldiers.

I challenge any queer person to watch this documentary (about the Hays Code and the horrible fate met by queer-coded and queer characters in cinema) and this under-appreciated action film back to back and come out of it without feeling devastated and furious about what happens to Billy and Joey. Especially to Joey. And now, in an era of rampant school shootings and hostage situations, Toy Soldiers hits with even more gravity than it did in the 1990s and early 2000s.

These boys are where it started for me. Every every horrific canon media ending that has ever made me furious, every hundreds-of-thousands-of-words long fix-it series I’ve written in the past 19 years, can be traced back to this moment. This string of stories was what I wrote before I ever wrote the likes of Crown of Thorns (Good Omens), Anthology (Pacific Rim), and Delicate, Dangerous, Obsessed (Gotham). Hell, one of my instrumental original characters in CoT appeared for the first time at the end of Book of Hours before I ever thought to use her in a Good Omens context.

This story has meant the world to me even though the fandom around it at the time of writing, and even now, was never more than about 20 people. Most of those people are still with me, the dearest friends I could ever hope to have 💙

Chapter Index for The Series / Book of Hours by irisbleufic

1. Stereotypical (2013-11-18)

2. Persuasion (2013-11-18)

3. Taste Testing (2013-11-18)

4. Leaving a Mark (2013-11-18)

5. Trick or Treat (2013-11-18)

6. Omerta (2013-11-18)

7. Translation (2013-11-18)

8. Sketches (2013-11-18)

9. Falling (2013-11-18)

10. Caught (2013-11-18)

11. What It Takes (2013-11-18)

12. Noteworthy (2013-11-18)

13. These Shadows Have Offended (2013-11-18)

14. Love Never Did Run Smooth (2013-11-18)

15. Within Reason (2013-11-18)

16. Composure (2013-11-18)

17. Clippings (2013-11-18)

18. Without End (2013-11-18)

19. Prologue: Every Hour (2013-11-18)

20. Book of Hours: Part 1 (2013-11-18)

21. Book of Hours: Part 2 (2013-11-18)

22. Flashback: Spiral (2013-11-18)

23. Flashback: Silver (2013-11-18)

24. The Orchids (2013-11-18)

25. Closer to Fine (2013-11-18)

#toy soldiers #fanfiction #wil wheaton #sean astin #good omens #pacific rim #gotham #fandom history #meta #billy tepper x joey trotta

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the-owl-tree · 8 months

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I fr don’t know how the erins wrote such a twisted, triggering abusive couple and story line again and again. they don’t even answer for it in a way that takes into account their audience who reads their books and sees their parents doing this exact shit. this is some shit that would send me into a spiral as a kid. I am genuinely shocked and appalled that they’re still making books. not to say warriors should end but… they are actively producing harmful content marketed towards children

had to take a little women & cooking break from this book lol

i'm not done the book yet so i might be shooting myself in the foot....but at the same time i'm pretty confident i've identified some of the reasons why this book is the way it is. for how awful the book is, it is pretty revealing:

-Okay, get the obvious one out of the way: Warriors does not treat its female characters and its male characters equally. This bleeds into ALL their writing, and this super edition is just as impacted by it. Whether or not we like these characters or not, this double standard is at play.

-The books believe that Squirrelflight and Bramblestar's fighting makes them better, that their disagreements make them a good team and challenge each other. Squirrelflight in particular is considered argumentative by her clanmates, something which is treated as comedic in the early chapters:

(note the wording, squilf is the argumentative unreasonable one).

Obviously, this isn't true. Their quarreling does NOT make them stronger and Bramblestar frequently uses his position to actively punish her when she disagrees with him to the point he'd forbid her from arguing with him in public. Squirrelflight disagreeing with him is shown by the narrative as her doing what's right (which is good!) but the fact Bramblestar CAN and WILL use his position to shut her up is bad. These fights are not equal and the authors won't acknowledge that, so the rest of the cast in ThunderClan also don't see this as bad.

-Bramblestar isn't meant to be seen as right and we're SUPPOSED to see his actions as cruel and heartless....but the authors want you to think about how pressured and stressed he is. They do not want to acknowledge just how bad his actions are. People act like Squirrelflight is piling shit onto him (this is not true and i actually kind of want to make a post about just how this plot point as been taken out of context and misused by people who want bramblestar to look good but another time another time)....but the book does not want to see this as a repeated part of his personality because the authors do not see Bramblestar as a bad person at heart, just that he's misguided and not acting rationally. Not true! We've seen this behavior prior. But that leads to my next point-

-While the narrative isn't trying to convince you that Bramblestar is correct, it still wants you to think that Squirrelflight has done something to earn this treatment. Her going behind Bramblestar's back is treated as wrong and Squirrelflight's narration has her imploring the reader to think about his perspective. The writers want you to believe that things could have gone better had she just talked to him...but fail to acknowledge that the Bramblestar they've written is completely unreasonable and acting irrationally. He actively does not listen in earlier chapters but they still want you to believe Squirrelflight disobeying him is worth her being flamed as well.

Note: this is a repeated pattern. she apologizes to him about her suspicions about hawkfrost....despite being completely right.

-The authors use characters are situational antagonists (and often repeatedly use these characters! Thornclaw and Blossomfall have the consistent trait of being actively xenophobic and cruel to outsiders) but they refuse to address these as bad or have these characters be confronted for this. Bramblestar falls into this category, he is antagonist for this book but because he apologizes and is secretly good at heart or whatever, the authors don't have to interrogate just how much harm he is doing to those around him. They needed conflict, used Bramblestar for that, and once the conflict was resolved, went back to use him as a main character without examining the shit he did as an antagonist.

Thornclaw is like the prime example of this he is routinely bigoted and awful and yet is just treated like a normal member of the Clan. So it's not just a Bramblestar, this is a broader writing issue.

aannnd those are my little theories based on this reading. it sucks ass and i need bramblestar to die asap.

#deer reads squirrelflight's hope

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ragnarokhound · 2 months

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30, 31, 36 for the writing ask game pls!

(also adore your ask box line shsjjdjdjf)

:D thank you for the asks! (And hehehe thank you, when I did my avatar rebrand I thought it was time to update that too)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Ohhh man, haha, this fic has actually been on my mind a lot today, I've explained it to three separate people lmao.

So okay, I have this old WIP from last year. It was going to be the next fic I wrote after my first Jaytim fic, I was going to write it on PURPOSE with a PLOT and PINING and EVERYTHING. The WORKS. It was my first attempt at writing Jason's voice too - he's the POV character - and instead I wrote Hurt/Comfort lmao. This fic was heavily inspired by listening to "This Losing" by the Airborne Toxic Event on repeat during February of 2023, and was going to feature a friends with benefits situationship that quickly spirals into Real Feelings that Jason is having trouble grappling with because he's afraid of scaring Tim with how intensely jealous/possessive he gets. With how much he loves him :')

Eventually I'll write it... someday...

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

Oh, Hurt/Comfort for sure. That fic was SO nerve-wracking because uhhhhh I'd never written BDSM before! Not really! Not a full on, planned out scene! And on top of that, Hurt/Comfort is experimental with it's choose-your-own-adventure style two endings, so once I was done with writing Hurt I had Comfort to write as well, lmao. I'm pleased with it, but in retrospect, imo it's pretty vanilla for what it is (this may be relative lol), and I feel like I've improved as a writer since posting it :)

(I really enjoy writing panic attacks and bad mental spaces tho, and I still really like the small moment in the bathtub when Tim is sucked into his short flashback uwu sorry Tim, but I had to do it to em)

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

In the grand tradition of fic authors everywhere, most of my fic titles are song lyrics or other quotes o7 Usually they're taken from the song I'm listening to the most while writing the fic, and usually I use the lyric I feel best captures either the vibe or a specific beat in the story.

That being said, Sit, Stay, Speak is probably my favorite original title, because it's out of context spoilers for the story as well as a funny dog pun :D Jason is going to sit in Tim's apartment, stay put, and speak to Tim without realizing it; and Tim is going to speak to Jason without actually speaking. His apartment, his life does the talking for him - and Jason hears it. I am genuinely quite proud of Sit, Stay, Speak, every aspect of it was agonized over, but it was worth the effort.

#thank you for the asks! this was fun #ladytauria #ask game #writing #asked and answered

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electricbluebutterflies · 2 months

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weird question but i basically went through the entire leto/jessica tag in a 2 day fever dream spiral after seeing dune 2 last month & i commented on absolutely nothing... if one were to go back through and read stuff in an actually coherent manner/leave comments, where should i start with your stuff? <3

Lol, how do I sort 300k worth of fic... let's do this with commentary!! I do have other stuff but we're ignoring some of it!

never listen but i see it with my eyes closed is the fever-dream of a canon-divergent fix-it fic I wrote (mostly) in December 2021 / my life was Actively On Fire at the time and it shows. First thing I wrote for the babes and I do side-eye some of my characterization choices in hindsight but... they were new to me and I was trying. Only longfic I've ever managed to finish.

one bright moment is all i ask is a throwback to a fic format that was popular circa like 2016 and one of the most fun little things I've written. (As you will see, everything is my favorite.)

shoot for the memory so you can forget me is a missing scene that can be blamed on a few things, but mostly the fact that that was the moment when I became Insufferable in a relatively packed movie theater. (There is Lore related to how this fandom spiral happened to me and it comes up kinda frequently...)

take his body as a relic to be canonized - the summary I posted on ao3 for this is "last thoughts of a dying man" and it is EXACTLY what it says on the tin. I broke my informal personal rule against writing death scenes for this one and I think I hit the fucked-up gorgeousness of it.

nothing in the world - the knife-kink fic, another thing that haunts me forever. There's a little context that I think is in the notes, but it's very... not the kind of content I usually write and I do love it.

give you my wild - the rituals fic, take 2. The original version of that concept was courtesy of an ex who I broke up with BECAUSE of this spiral (long story); this, written about a year later, is a softer version and twice as long.

prompt-comps, in order: i hope my love was someone else's solid ground, i never fall outside of love, i'd live and die for moments that we stole, sit awake until the wild feelings leave you (current / active one). This is where most of my fic HAPPENS / I like doing prompts that people send me, there's something about the responsiveness that works well for my process. I format them in sets of 50 for housekeeping purposes. Mostly canon'verse, occasional modern AU / me kicking myself for not writing as much modern AU as I want, "moments that we stole" has a few segments of a different canon-divergent AU that I need to do more with...

pillars - my new favorite and I'm not saying anything about it beyond that I wrote something I have spent two and a half years avoiding and it only broke me once.

#ebf talks fic

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lairofdragonagelore · 1 year

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The Strange Idol [analysis]

A compilation of what we know and what we can speculate about the old “Strange Idol”.

[This post belongs to the series “Analysis and speculation of Statues”]

This is a mysterious statue that has appeared in DA2 and DAI in different contexts. In DA2, we find it in three places: The Harimann’s house basement, atop of the Sundermount, and inside Dumat’s Temple. Its resemblance in style [shape of limbs, decoration, lines, material] to the Red Idol is worth noting. I already wrote an extensive post about “DA2: The Strange Idol” but I wanted to make a summary here with brief speculations supported by the knowledge of the recent published comics. To understand the context of the idol in DA2 in detail, I suggest reading that post. As I always repeat, DA lore adds a lot when you have the context in which it appears [and also helps you not to go deep into wild theories].

Where do we find this statue in DA games?

It appears for the first time in Merril’s Quest [read Merril and the Eluvian], inside a cave atop of the Sundermount.

In Sebastian’s Quest, placed in the Basement of Harimann’s mansion which turned out to be an ancient Tevinter Ruin. Thanks to Tevinter Nights book we know that having buildings undergrounf was/is a Tevinter costume that keeps existing in Mintharous. We also know that Kirkwall, historically, has a lot of ruins and chambers below the city itself. This allowed Tevinter mages to do forbidden research or unsafe magic or have cult activities without the authorities’ knowledge.

In a humble temple deep into the Deep Roads, at the base of the tower-prison where Corypheus is held.

It also appears several times in the Black Emporium of DA2, behind and over the mirror of transformation.

It appears in a cave that you have access by following the Old Chantry Trail Sign, in Western Approach. In there, we learn it’s warm to the touch and has a pulse.

His face appears in some walls along Din'an Hanin, and it’s the central statue in the Elandrin’s Tomb.

Its face appears in the mural the “Removal of the Vallaslin”, located in Elven Mountain Ruins , Forgotten Sanctuary

The raw information

So far, details that are worth noticing about this idol:

It has many limbs: two legs and four arms. Other multi-limbered creatures in DA universe are Varterrals [ read DLC: Witch Hunt and The Missing for more varterral’s information], some demons like the envy one, Xenon [ owner of the Black Emporium], and some creatures related to elvhenan paintings [read Nation Art: Elvhen] which in some instance may or may not be related to The Horror of Hormak [Personal Speculation].

Its face is monkey-like or a bit toad-like. Its mouth is open, its eyes a bit squinted. For this reason, it can be related to Elgar’nan through the codex Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory, [“narrowed eyes and its open, snarling mouth”] which was analysed in the post Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara.

Its chest and stomach have swirls. One can associate swirls all over the games with lyrium or, in DAI, with Veilfire/Fade and elvhenan gods [the dragon statue that represents Myhtal as well as the howling wolf statue that represents Fen’harel both have swirls along their body]. For more details on this aspect, read the section “Spirals and branching lines as Fade, magic, and lyrium” in the post Murals in DAI: Basics

Its limbs have long carvings, like canals, from which something red can be seen. Given the context of being perceived as Dumat, or as Elgar’nan who may have accepted blood from his defeated enemies [as his codices imply a ruthless, violent, dominant behaviour], one can suspect it is dried blood drips. It’s very subtle, but the red lines in them have been present in both designs [in DA2 and DAI, in DAI it looks even more like blood]. We also know that the Elvhenan performed blood magic and it’s highly likely that blood magic was originally from Arlathan [hints of this info in Tarohne, the Fell Grimoire, and Xebenkeck]. So, there are several hints that show that elvhenan know how to bind spirits and how to use blood magic.

In Sebastian’s quest, this idol appears in an underground Tevinter ruin, and has a [desire] demon bind to it.

In Merril’s quest, this idol appears inside Elvhen ruins and has a pride demon bind to it. However, given the context, the statue can be Elven or Tevinter, since the battle of Sundermount caused that both sides would “unleash horrors” in the Waking World [the codex is not too reliable, though, since it speaks of a legend, and it’s “recent history” related to Arlathan; details in Sundermount as an elven graveyard]. We also know that a lot of knowledge about Arlathan has been lost or modified due to time and elven mortality, but we also know that these elves were deeply related to blood magic. If we add the binding culture that Elvhenan had according to DAI [for example, read Ancient Elven codices; The Lost Temple of Dirthamen, and The Lost Temple of Dirthamen - Part 2] we can suspect that this demon was bind to this statue for either faction [with defensive purposes if elven or as a gesture of dominance if Tevinter]. Not necessarily it has to be Tevinter-made. What I mean is that we have enough context to know that this may have been Tevinter or Elvhenan doing. In fact, one can speculate that maybe the original knowledge was Elvhenan and Tevinter just took it as its own as it has always done with elvhenan magical knowledge.

In Merril’s quest, Felandaris appears close to this statue, suggesting that the Veil is very thin in the area [this plant only grows around places where the veil is thin and demon presence is expected].

In DA2, this idol is usually close to strange dragon-skull totems that, due to the lack of codex, is impossible to associate with Tevinter or Elvhenan. In DAI they are used in the ramparts of Exalted Plains, seen as structures that hold barriers around pits where dead arise. So they seem to be related to [demon/undead] summoning rituals that, so far we know in lore, may be Tevinter or Elvhenan alike.

In DA2:DLC Legacy, we find this idol too, but deep into the Deep Roads, at the bottom of Corypheus’ tower-prison in a small structure that has an “altar of Dumat”. Four plates are placed there, where you have to put four items found along the DLC: a sacrificial dagger, a crown, a ritual scroll, and a sacred Urn. If you give the items, a reward is given [chain of the penitent]. If you defile the altar instead, you will fight some shades, which gives us the idea that this idol is related to demons and/or blood magic, thinning the Veil around it [shades are usually the standard shape that demons take when enter the waking world without possessing living creatures].

In DAI, it appears in a cave of Western Approach where you can place your landmark, and it’s called “The Thing in the Dark” [details in Western Approach: Old Chantry Trail Signs]. The small message we get in it is “This statue is oddly warm to the touch and shivers slightly, as though it might have a pulse”. In DA2, Merril could feel something in the statue when the demon was bind to it, so this warm shivering effect may be the concept that some spirit/demon is bind to it. Let’s remember that in DAI we found a lot of things that are warm to the touch and have some pulse/shiver/angry feeling to it that may imply a spirit attached to it [read The Taken Shape set for a list of details about warm, pulsing objects]

In DAI, curiously, his face appears in some walls along Din'an Hanin, which is expected since his main tomb is underground of that ruin, but it also appears in the lower section of the mural “Removal of the Vallaslin” in the ancient elven ruins of Fen’Harel. One of these faces appears as the source of Veilfire.

Design-wise may have some distant similarities with Korth, the Father-mountain of the Avvar, which has [dragon?] horns.

Speculation section

Similarities with the red lyrium idol

When we find similarities between this statue and the red lyrium idol, I’m not saying they are the same, but they may have similar functions in ancient rituals. Among the similarities, we can notice that figures have carvings along the body.

May the red lines inside the carvings of the Strange Idol not be blood but inactivated red lyrium?

Why would I say this? The Red lyrium idol has shown, specially in the comic Dark Fortress, to look like a piece of wood [as if it were inactivated red lyrium] unless I’ve been understading it too wrongly [the scholar even suspects that the idol, once consumed into the creation of a sword for the Red Wraith, has been rendered useless, and its drawing looks more like a piece of wood/metal than a “red glowing crystal”]. Only in some places we see it red. This visual fact always confused me in DA series. We clearly see that the object is not entirely made of red lyrium, only some parts [specially the roots] look like it. Why so many characters insist in saying it’s completely made of red lyrium?

If we remember, the cinematics in Dragon Age Official Teaser Trailer - 2018 Game Awards shows that the idol glows only along some lines, as if the red lyrium is activating from within its metal/wood material. Which is similar to the red lines we see in the Strange Idol, but in a dormant way. We also know that Red Lyrium sounds angry and feels warm [check the red lyrium section in Songs and elements that sing and whisper in DA Lore]. Since the Strange Idol is warm to the touch too [according to DAI in Western Approach: Old Chantry Trail Signs] and has these red lines barely seen, could it be related to inactivated red lyrium? I really don’t know what to think about it since we know so little about the red lyrium idol [and I suspect it has been retconned a couple of times even along DA2].

Design wise, the red lyrium idol always looked to me like wood+metal, and only its lower part is made of red lyrium, as if it were roots, implying from a design-point-of-view the metaphor that the horror represented in the figure is “fed” on red lyrium [details and speculations in Red Lyrium Idol ].

Pros and cons of certain speculations related to the Strange Idol:

Speculation 1: “This statue is Elgar’nan”

PRO

Its face coincides with the codex Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory, which describes Elgar’nan with “ narrowed eyes and its open, snarling mouth”. The general shape of the Strange Idol may look like a mountain, as it is said in the codex that Elgar’nan statue was made of stone as big as a mountain [metaphorically implying how he defeated Titans and created monuments of himself on or with the corpse of his enemies].

It makes sense for it to appear in the Bastion of Elgar’nan in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, Elandrin’s Tomb as central icon of the tomb of knights that defended elvhen, considering that Elgar’nan is perceived along the codices as a big leader during the Titan war.

It makes sense for it to be in the Sundermount cave, since we can speculate it was a statue used to bind a demon by the elvhen resisting the war against Tevinter. Let’s remember that Elgar’nan was always related to victory and wars against the Titans in the oldest codices we find about him [read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris].

CONS

If this is an elvhen god/Evanuris, I hardly see it worshipped by Tevinter, who allways had an ancient, deep rejection to elves. It would make no sense to use Elgar’nan as a representation of Dumat either [not consciously, at least]. So it makes no sense for this statue to appear in the Altar of Dumat close to the Corypheus’ prison as well as in Sebastian’s quest, in an underground Tevinter ruin.

It doesn’t have any visual similarity to Elgar’nan mosaic, which displays a bestial arm with claws. There is no similar hint of bestiality in the case of the Strange Idol [read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris]. However, this is not a strong counterargument: we can say the same of Mythal, who has two representations, one as an elf in a mosaic, and another as a dragon [in mosaic and statues too]. Read Mythal section in Evanuris for further details.

Neither con not pro: I can’t speculate why Elgar’nan would appear in the mural of “Removal of the Vallaslin” at the Elven Mountain Ruins, Forgotten Sanctuary. Specially if we think that the previous corridor towards this mural doesn’t have any mosaic of Elgar’nan either. I also can’t explain or speculate why the Forgotten Sanctuary, a place to give shelter to slaves, would have images of the Evanuris on its walls, the ones supporting the slavery system of the moment.

This face, if it is truly Elgar’nan’s, is also presented as a source of Veilfire which can be related to Titans through the mural “The Death of a Titan”, where the source of Veilfire is presented in the heart of the Titan. Linking both symbols, one can suspect that maybe Elgar’nan’s victory over the Titans granted him the power of exceptional magic [divinity?], represented in these murals as the source of this particular green fire.

Speculation 2: “This statue is Dumat”

PRO:

It makes sense to appear close to Corypheus’ prison in an altar to Dumat or in the underground Tevinter ruins from Sebastian’s quest.

It makes sense to appear in Sundermount, so we can assume it was a symbol of dominance from Tevinter when they attacked the resisting elves in this place. They bind a demon there too, and this brings no conflict with the lore; we know Tevinter always had a deep knowledge of binding and using demons in their favour.

CONS:

It makes no sense for Dumat to appear in the Bastion of Elgar’nan in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, Elandrin’s Tomb. If it would have appeared in the first part of the zone, where we find statues of Andraste as the codex of Emerald Knights upgrades, it would have been considered an assimilation from former slaves, but this statue appears in a central position in a tomb that has been sealed long ago, surrounded by many statues of Mythal in her dragon shape.

Besides, why would Dumat appear in the mural of “Removal of the Vallaslin” at the Elven Mountain Ruins, Forgotten Sanctuary? So far we know the “Tevinter” perspective of the Old Gods appeared long time after the Elvhen and the Evanuris, so it’s hardly a contemporaneous concept to the ancient Elvhenan Gods.

Dumat, understood as the Old God perceived by Tevinter, is a Dragon in shape. Its will may be something else, though, that may be represented in this toad-like figure?.

Speculation 3: “This statue is an ancient god [maybe a Forgotten One?] worshipped by the Evanuris before claiming divinity, and Tevinter adopted it later, believing them as Dragons or The Old Gods”.

PROS:

This concept makes sense in both scenarios, Tevinter and Elvhenan. Like I said in the lore sections of the posts related to the comics The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak, Until We Sleep, Magekiller, and The Missing; there are some hints that make us speculate that Evanuris worshipped great dragons originally [that may or may not result in the Forgotten Ones]. Mythal should have been one of them as she is a dragon herself, but they stopped worshipping these ancient gods when they took the “divine winged shape” for themselves, claiming divinity. From that moment on, the Evanuris [at least Andruil] hunt these dragon-gods/Forgotten-Ones down, chasing them to the Void [which is more related to the underground lyrium than to a dimensional pocket ala Crossroads]. Mythal stopped her [ and intentionally or not, we don’t know, she protected these entities] by fighting against Andruil and removing her knowledge of how to reach the Void because in the Void there was “Darkness” and madness that Andruil infected with [for a whole detailed analysis of this, check the codex explanation of “Elven God Andruil” in the post Ancient Elven codices, Temple of Mythal].

In this way, it makes sense for Tevinter to end up using similar iconography, ignoring it was the same god that the Elvhenan venerated originally. Tevinter knows that the Old Gods take the shape of Dragons, but they may be something else entirely.

Under this idea, it makes sense for this idol to appear in Tevinter or Elvhenan environments.

CONS:

There are too few hints to support this hypothesis of Forgotten Ones as the original gods that the Evanuris worshipped until they claimed divinity for themselves, and later Tevinter took them in their dragon shape and established the cult of the Old Gods. Most of the hints pointing out this relationship are recent [in the late comics].

We also have a strange potential relationship between the Forgotten Ones and the Forbidden Ones via the Seekers. It may be a red herring done by the devs or a consequence of “unreliable narrators”. Details in “Tarohne, the Fell Grimoire, and Xebenkeck”.

Another con is that this idol has no shape of a dragon when we know that the Old Gods are always represented as Dragons, and we also suspected from the comics that the Forgotten Ones may be dragons instead of elvhen . We also have another potential link with Hakkon as Geldauran, who may be one of them; for more details, read Elvhen Tomb and Ancient Tevinter presence, Speculation.

Neither con not pro but a detail worth noting: this entity has a shape with a distant resemblance to Korth, the Avvar Mountain-Father god [the mouth shape are alike, and the nostrils of the Strange Idol are similar to the Korth’s nose-eyes]. Korth is the oldest and strongest god of the Avvar pantheon. We know the Avvar have always had a much better understanding of the world due to their deep conection with the spirits, whose wisdom is always shared to the Augur of the tribe. With this I mean that this Strange Idol seems to be a very old entity that even the Avvar perceived, reflected later in the shape of Korth. Korth is related to the Mountain, as Elgar’nan is related to it in a dominant way in the codex Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory. Elgar’nan’s fury [which destroys everything it touches, according to the codex The Judgment of Mythal or read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris for more details] has some distant similarity to Korth’s cruelty when he lost his heart [read codex The Frostback Mountains] and became a force of anger and destruction. According to the relationships I’ve been trying to connect along this blog, these details seem to me that the same entity has been perceived by Avvar, Tevinters, and Elvhenan, but represented with some differences in order to fit their own purposes [as all DA lore has been showing so far].

#Analysis and speculation of Statues #the strange idol #strange idol #dumat #Elgar'nan #korth #old gods #forgotten ones

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vellaphoria · 6 months

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Hi! For the writer's ask game: 25, 27, and 29 :) Also, I reread Midnight Elegy recently and it's even better then I remembered!

Hello!! :D as;lkdjfa;skldjls I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to reread it! I had such a good time writing that one. Thank you for the incredibly kind words! <3

Answers below the cut:

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on? Gethsemane in Winter, probably For context, at one point I wrote a DickTim Earth-3 series because there was a very specific interpretation of the concept that I desperately wanted to read but that didn't exist. So I set out to write it myself, knowing that it probably wouldn't get too much attention, given the number of (accurate) warning tags I slapped on it. I worked hard on it and am proud of the result, but there's still a bit of wistfulness about it because of the nature of incredibly niche things.

Though if anyone is curious enough to look at the part of the map labeled here be dragons, then the series is A Fact or a Weapon, which comes from a wonderfully haunting (and apt, for the fic) line from the poem "We are Hard" by Margaret Atwood:

A truth should exist, it should not be used like this. If I love you

is that a fact or a weapon?

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

My most favorite part is writing descriptions! I tend to be a visual thinker, so I spend a fair amount of time thinking about where things are in a scene, how they would look, and how to describe things in a way that builds the sort of atmosphere I'm going for.

My least favorite part is writing transitions between scenes. I tend to over-write them and draw things out that aren't important to the plot (one reason why everything I write spirals out of control lol). Sometimes it's hard for me to know when it's best to put a scene break in vs. when to do an actual transition via text.

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

I tend to go chapter by chapter for multi-chapter fics. My first goal is to get the thing written, so I try not to commit to serious revisions unless there's some sort of overarching problem with what I've got.

Revisions start once I have a mostly finished rough draft of a chapter. At that point, I read through it to make sure that I'm not missing anything and then send it to my beta reader so that they can give me a general vibe check (i.e. does it make sense, does it flow right, is the tone consistent/does it work for the fic, spelling and grammar, etc.). They also do a lot of cheerleading which really gets me through a lot of the tougher parts of writing <3 After I have the beta-approved version, I do another pass through for spelling and grammar and probably tweak some things. If it's a chapter, then it probably sits for a bit while I work on other parts of the fic. If it's a oneshot, then I format it for Ao3 and finalize the title and tags that I'm using before posting.

There's also a secret step where sometimes I don't like what I have, so I tear it up and recycle the parts into other things lol (questions are from this list)

#jagn answers #captain-ursula #ask games

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umbracirrus · 5 months

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Hi Meg! I've been thinking about you a lot today and thought I'd send along some questions from the ask game to try and cheer you up <3 1, 3, 4, 7, 16, and 21 please! <3

Thank you, that means a lot 💛

It's been a nice distraction thinking about my writing and fics!! And boy is this long-

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I tried to write according to a theme - it isn't something I've really done before, I've written and thought of themes which applied retrospectively but not actually written with a theme in mind from the start. It was quite hard, but I think it worked out well for both things which I wrote.

The end results were Purity, based on the quest of the same name with one of my dragonborn, Thea, and Vilkas with a focus on the struggle he was going through at Hircine's whim, as well as a little piece based on Miraak's experience of looking up at the night sky of Tamriel after being freed from Apocrypha.

As for whether I do it again... it would probably depend on themes, if anything stirs up some sort of inspiration.

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

That having a network of people to talk to about my fics, to bounce ideas off and do the same in kind is so incredibly invigorating for me. In particular, things that WIP Wednesdays have been a huge part of this and ohhhh my god, I wish I had something like this in the past when I used to post fanfic pre-2020.

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

I think it would be cheating if I were to say Skyrim/Elder Scrolls, so ignoring those specifically... I would honestly have to say the fanfictions which I read for the fandom. Before I started writing The Perfect Storm, even before I made my account on here, I spent many nights reading Skyrim fanfictions. Admittedly, a vast majority were smutty, but the ones which made me go 'you know, I want to do some writing based on Skyrim' were the ones which I read that weren't just pure filth but had such wonderfully crafted and nuanced plots where sex wasn't just there for the sake of it but instead enhanced the fic as a whole.

I honestly wish I could find a novel which could enrapture me in the way in which those fanfictions did, where I would be in the perpetual state of 'oh, just one more chapter then I'll sleep' until I finished the fic in the early hours of the morning.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

Balgruuf. Need I say more?

Ahh, there's actually quite a few - though honestly even my own dear dragonborn Elyse holds a piece of my heart. She's bears a fragment of me within her, as my first character for Skyrim who I began to think more in-depth about as opposed to just being a character that I'm playing as. And it's been a downward spiral from there. So many OCs. But Elyse was the first.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Ohhhh, this is hard - I have quite a few! So I'll list my top five I think :)

I feel that quite a few of them need context too, so it's a bit more than dialogue too. And it'll be under a read more just to save people's dashboards!

1 -

“You know, I was so proud of you when you said that you wanted to free yourself from the beastblood, Vilkas,” she began, sounding just as proud as she forced on a smile, its hesitance and shakiness as clear as day. “You’ve let yourself suffer for so long, and the least that you deserve is a chance to live without fear of what you can become. And do you want to know why? It’s because you are Vilkas, you are a brave, honourable Companion - one of the strongest people that I know - and you are going to free yourself from this curse and return to Jorrvaskr with me or so help me, I will- I… I will…”

- Thea addressing Vilkas in the aforementioned fic, Purity

2 -

"I see that you received my gift. Danica mentioned when she updated me on your condition that you would need to keep yourself warm after leaving her care, and Lydia said that your warmer clothes were not in the city, so…" he stated, nodding towards the woollen garment. Her eyes widened in surprise at that revelation, she had half been expecting the scarf to have been something that Danica had given to her to be charitable, not for it to have been a gift from the Jarl himself. She brought her hand up to it, and nodded. "I have… thank you. I didn’t know that it was from you."

- Balgruuf talking about a scarf which he got for Elyse ahhhhhh these two-!!!! in chapter 4 of The Perfect Storm

3 -

"You mean that you aren’t the people that the Jarl was sending? But aren’t you the Jarl’s..." He looked as though he didn’t want to finish his sentence as he finally let go of Elyse. A frown settled on Elyse’s face. "Thane?" "Th-Thane...? Yes, yes, uh... Thane...” He trailed off, a hint of uncertainty still in his voice, followed by a shake of his head and a quick but quiet mumble of “That was the word I was looking for..." under his breath.

- Sabjorn not-so-subtly implying that he thinks Elyse is in a relationship with Balgruuf or has at the very least heard rumours of such in chapter 15 of The Perfect Storm

4 -

"Hope you don't mind Brynjolf here joining us, Wynne. If we're talking business or pleasure tonight, he's definitely someone you want around." She pulled a dagger out of her sleeve as her associate took a seat before she scowled as she pulled her cowl down. That was followed by her pointing it in his direction. "My name is Maewynne, Delvin. Not Mae, not Wynne, Maewynne. All one word," she muttered, before looking at the stranger. She was about to ask this Brynjolf whether he was part of the Thieves Guild too, but when she saw the way that he was looking at her blade, as though he was appraising it, she felt that the question was unnecessary. His keen eyes earlier, and his ability to identify something of value seemed to be enough of a giveaway. Instead, she decided to ask something else. "What do you think of my dagger?" "That is certainly an interesting way to introduce yourself, lass."

- An excerpt for a currently unpublished but in the works fic based around one of my Dark Brotherhood characters, Maewynne, as she infiltrates the Thieves Guild on behalf of a former guild member....

5 -

"You heard the news? I've got to say, I feel sorry for those poor bastards up north," he hummed as he dried the inside of a tankard with a cloth, the head of the man he was addressing finally lifting up. "On top of war breaking out, apparently the Empire have requested that borders in and out of Skyrim be closed. Don’t know how long for, either. Imagine being stuck in that icy shithole for the foreseeable future...” The customer laughed loudly at the comments, clearly drunk, with his hand slamming down on the polished wood. “As opposed to this icy shithole? Bruma ain’t much better, what, with all those elves passing through, skulkin’ round that abandoned temple..." He then paused, and let out a puzzled noise. "Wait a minute… ain't most of your business from when those Skyrim folk pass through?” "As I said – I feel sorry for 'em."

- The innkeeper of the Jerall View Inn and one of his customers in the first chapter of Seeking the Sun, prompting a very tired Elyse to cross the border and get caught up in that Imperial ambush, same as-

#thank you!!!#this has honestly kept me distracted for like an hour trying to think of what to answer and going through my writing so seriously thank you #meg is rambling #meg has done some writing

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littlemissmanga · 10 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Thank you my dear! And thank you to @blueink-bluesoul for also sending this ask (I'm just tagging you here so it can all be in one post).

Here we go, anything with an asterisk has 18+ content:

One Last Order* - This was my first fic after years of not writing, so it's my baby. That it features my favorite Captain is another bonus. Initially, I only had Pt 2 in my head, but I wrote out Pt 1 to justify it and give it context and I have to say I like the quality of my writing in Pt 1 more - I think I was able to get deeper into Rex's mentality and emotional state. But Pt 2 was my first attempt at spice, so it also has a special place to me. That and it highlights an older, more mature reader which isn't something that is expressly shown in fiction often.

Don't Forget That, Okay? - This was my first clone bingo square and my first real step into this community. I'm not really a Crosshair girlie, but I was watching Boy Meets World and I realized Shawn Hunter deals with vulnerability and rejection the same way Cross does. So my next thought was "how would Crosshair react to being welcomed into a happy family?" I wanted to touch on the softer side of Cross, and I always get a sense of comfort reading this one. I'm proud I was able to keep the prose simple but introspective, very like Cross.

A Mechanic in the Sun - My first Tech fic, where I learned I LOVE writing our favorite genius. His voice is easy for me to find, and that lends itself to getting me into his mindset easier. I had so much fun with this fluff and think that really comes through in the writing.

Tech & Non-Verbal Reader - This is entirely written to help myself. I was overwhelmed and stressed from a situation at work and my husband wasn't home to help me decompress after so I spiraled. When I get like that, it's like full survival mode and I find speaking incredibly difficult. My brain goes at a million miles an hour but I can't communicate, which frustrates me even more. IDK why I picked Tech as the right person to handle that situation, but immediately the thought of him - who often info dumps - understanding my communication struggles and being patient while I calmed myself down really did help settle me IRL, so I wrote it down. Immediately when I published, someone replied saying that they needed to read that and that it helped them get through something similar. For that reason, this lazy writing exercise will always have a place in my heart - it genuinely helped someone, and for that I will always be grateful.

Are You Wearing My Shirt (Wrecker)* - While I liked my first Wrecker x Reader fic a lot for the theme of healthy communication, I feel like this little drabble is where I really connected with the character as a writer for the first time, where I really got into his head and got him on the paper. As someone who LOVES this character, that made a big difference in how I respond to my own work. Also, I like how I handled the spice here :)

#thank you for the ask!#love the idea of writers sharing their favs #swtcw #sw fanfic #tcw fanfic #tbb #the bad batch #tbb fanfic #x reader

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soleminisanction · 2 years

Text

I’ve wanted to talk more about Steph’s run as Batgirl because I’m genuinely fascinated by it, but I keep starting and then abandoning posts because they inevitably spiral out of my control. In an attempt to illustrate my problem, allow me to wax poetic for a bit about a single line that has bugged me for years:

Context:

This page comes in the first issue. Steph is running around in Cass’s Batgirl costume and it keeps getting damaged, so she says…this.

And if you’re a more casual reader, you’re probably saying right now, “So what? It’s just a joke, a quip. It doesn’t mean anything. Why the hell is this post so long for something as small as that?”

In answer, I give you this:

Yeah.

Stephanie Brown knows how to sew. Stephanie Brown specifically knows how to sew, fix and maintain superhero costumes. Because she makes her own. And it’s not like that’s some kind of deep cut; those panels are from a Secret Files and Origins story that Chuck Dixon (Steph’s creator) wrote, but all you really have to do is know Steph’s story and use some basic logic: she is literally a self-made superhero. Of course she makes her own costumes. Where else would she get them?

And I want to be clear here – this is a skill. One that Stephanie would have to cultivate and that she should be proud of. Costuming is hard enough when you’re trying to make something that’s just intended to be worn for a few hours at a convention a couple of times a year. Steph’s Spoiler gear is literally full-body, covering head-to-toe twice over, and built to stand up to regular rooftop parkour, motorcycling, fisticuffs, gunfights, knife fights, dips into Gotham Bay and the occasional fire. It’s almost certainly made out of thick, quality cloth and leather, both of which are hard to work with but vital if you’re creating something that’s designed to protect you.

She built that costume from scratch at least twice and maintained it, by herself, with no Bat support, financial or otherwise, for years. It is absolutely a skill and a credit to her as a character, not to mention foundational to her entire origin story and her whole independent “you can’t tell me what to do” attitude.

And this one line… takes that all away for the sake of a cheap, generic quip.

What’s extra frustrating about this whole thing is that, in going with this lazy, cliche joke, they missed a golden opportunity to actually show her character.

Imagine if, instead of this page where we’re leering at her in the shower for no reason, we got a short scene in which Steph sits down at her sewing machine to fix the costume… and realizes that she only has purple cloth and thread. That would be a subtle symbolic moment for what's supposedly the central theme of this book, that Steph "just can't help" but be a bright and happy "burst of color" in contrast to the darkness of Gotham and the other Bats.

She could then hesitate, wonder if maybe this is a sign, maybe she should just stop… and then persist anyway, filling in the gaps with “her” color (as if Babs and Helena didn’t wear it first but that’s another rant). That would establish her as stubborn, resourceful, tenacious, and someone who doesn’t let superficial appearances get in her way.

Plus, remember, this is Cass’s Batgirl costume, it already has a stitched-together aesthetic; she could make it work. And as a bonus, you’d get the interesting symbolism of it looking like her old Spoiler gear is trying to burst out from inside this costume that doesn’t quite fit her (because Cass is smaller than she is in a couple of different places) and, due to the placement of the cuts we see later on, it’d even be a neat visual transition between this temporary look and the one she wears as her permanent Batgirl gear.

But, no. All we got was a cliche quip and the implication that Stephanie cares more about Being Batgirl than she does her own safety, comfort or modesty.

But you know what really, really drives me nuts about this line?

There is no way for us as readers to know whether it was an intentional change to Steph’s characterization or just a careless, thoughtless joke.

The latter would be bad enough, as it implies that the people in charge of this character’s big spotlight starring role neither know nor care about the fundamental basics of who she is as a person and think that Batman handed her everything. But if it’s a deliberate change? That would imply a lot worse.

Because sewing, you see, is women’s work. In our dominant culture, it’s viewed as a feminine skill and a girly hobby. And our very special heroine simply can’t be shown to have girly interests or hobbies. That would make her… like other girls.

Even if that’s not a conscious mindset, I can see that being why the (entirely cisgender male) creativity team valued the skill so little they didn’t even think before tossing it aside for a joke. Frankly, given how the series goes on to treat both Steph and literally all of the women around her, I would not be surprised in the slightest.

But that’s a topic for another day.

For now, I hope I've made my point. People are going to think I'm exaggerating when I say this but I really believe it’s true: the entire series is like this. If you read it in a vacuum and don't think about it, it seems perfectly functional, but the second you bring in outside context or start questioning things even a little, it all falls apart. And instead of drawing on Steph's established history and personality to make her a compelling and unique protagonist, it strips her down to nothing but shallow cliches to render her out as little more than a blank, generically quirky cipher for insecure people to project themselves onto.

It’s honestly depressing.

#meta #batgirl #batgirl 2009 #stephanie brown #canon critical #critique of canon #long post #sorry #a lot of the topics I'm interested in talking about are interesting to me and possibly no one else #but they literally will not get out of my head so here I scream them into the void #so have a passionate defense of sewing as an artform from someone who couldn't sew a button

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