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uglypastels · 2 years

Note

Hi there! Maybe tmi but I’ve been daydreaming of a scenario where you and Eddie have been staring at each other for most of senior year but you’re too shy to approach each other and then you bump into him at school after-hours and suddenly you’re slamming each other into the locker room or AV room or whatever other school setting and having crazy panting feral hot sex. I love your fics so I’d pass out if you wrote something along these lines and then spontaneously combust from horniness

ok this immediately got me inspired to write, even though I told myself "no blurbs until you finish the pirate eddie fic" but fuck it. i had to write this.

warnings: SMUT minors dni! unprotected PIV (female!reader). kinda public?? in a school building but no one's around. swearing. i don't think there's anything else, but I'm sorry I'm tired.

masterlist // inbox // add yourself to my taglist

What were you doing? What in the world were you thinking?

Well, the answer to the first question was quite simple. You were standing in front of the janitor’s closet. It was just the beginning of your free period, when you were supposed to be sitting in the library studying for your upcoming chem final, but it turns out you had more important things at hand.

You looked down at the note in your hand again. The one he had dropped right in front of you just a few hours ago. It had been at your locker, it was early, and you were barely awake, putting away your jacket.

At first, you had thought nothing of it, still trying to get over the fact that Eddie Munson had bumped into you. The image of his flashy smile was still developing in your corneas. So when you saw the small piece of paper, you thought it might have just been some trash he dropped, but either way, you decided to pick it up. Out of mere curiosity, really. You had seen the black pen marks bleeding through it and wanted to know what the school’s freak had to say. And what it was… was quite interesting.

5th period. Janitor’s closet, west. Meet me there.

Your heart nearly burst out of your chest, but it couldn’t have been meant for you, could it? Either way, you went to the west hall. You found that janitor’s closet and looked around for anyone. What would other students think if you stood around? Could they tell what you were trying to build the courage up for?

Eddie must have already been inside as the clock on the wall ticked loudly away past the first minute of the hour. You wanted to go inside; you did, but you couldn’t push away the feeling that he might have meant the note for someone else. Had he accidentally dropped it in front of you and been waiting for a completely different person?

So, why the hell did you still knock?

Why even knock in the first place? Why not just open the door? It all felt so stupid, and you felt even sillier when the door opened and Eddie popped out.

He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you inside. It was neither light nor dark in the cupboard. The lightbulb above your head barely gave off any light, but the window in the door was a bit of help. That's when you realised that even though you could not see him there, he had seen you pace about in the corridor.

‘I thought you’d never come in.’ He said with a smile, voice airy, his body inching closer to you with each word. His hands were already setting up their place on your hips, hesitant for your reaction. He clearly had a lot of things on his mind that he wanted to express, but he also didn’t want to push any of your boundaries. You could tell just by how his breath hitched in anticipation, how he dragged his tongue over his bottom lip.

‘I– I thought you might have given me the note by accident.’ you placed your hand over his chest. Just that feeling alone, even with the many layers of his clothing between you, it made you melt. Of course, the room was small, with no proper air circulation, so that might have been why you felt so hot, but something in you told you that might not have been entirely it. He chuckled at your confession.

‘Who else would it have been for?’ His nose brushed over your cheek, his words hitting your hot skin as he spoke. He was about to move away, but you mirrored his actions right in sync, crashing your lips to his, breaking the dam of feeling and need that had been building between the two of you for the last few weeks.

It all started with innocent looks across the room—a smile, a wink.

But it all gradually escalated in subtle ways. No matter how much you would have wanted to, you never dared to take it any further than this. And neither could Eddie. He was a person who was very loud and boisterous, but at times he could shut down and close off. At times, for example, when he was struck by you looking directly at him from your cafeteria table. How he had wanted to walk up to you, tell you everything he had wanted to say each time he saw you, but all the words collapsed in his mind as soon as you actually showed up in front of him. And pretty much the same happened to you.

Maybe that is why you felt like you were being pulled together. This invisible string connected the two of you in ways no one could explain but wouldn’t complain about either.

The last week, in particular, something had been set off in both of you. Nothing you did was particularly sexual, but it got him going, and you could say the same thing about Eddie. Just seeing him sit there, laid back in the chair, legs spread out, laughing at whatever his friends were saying– you wanted to sit in that lap and laugh along with him.

You couldn’t be wearing a cuter outfit, could you? Eddie’s heart was doing overtime in trying to keep him alive at the sight of you. He needed to talk to you, say something about how you made him feel.

That is all he had intended with the note. Just so the two of you could talk. Perhaps the tiny enclosed space of the cupboard in an abandoned part of the school was presumptuous of him. Maybe he should have picked a bit more open space, but in all honesty, he was scared that after talking to him for a minute, you would just laugh in his face for how wrong he had been about you. You being interested in him? Now that would make its rounds around the school in no time.

But then you got into that damn little closet with him, and it’s like all his sanity had left him. He couldn’t compose himself any longer. The feeling of you being so close to him made him haywire in the best way possible, and when you kissed him–

‘Fuck,’ he grumbled from between the kiss. Your lips just parted long enough for a catch of air, but nothing longer than that. The idea that you did want, maybe even needed, him as much as he desired you… he couldn’t comprehend it, really. All he could do at the moment was hold you close, hoping that his hands weren’t actually too tight on your body.

But then you let your body free. Your hand clasped at his shoulder as your leg snaked its way around his. Eddie took the opportunity without hesitation to push you against one of the shelving units. It buckled back and forth, but nothing fell off, so neither of you cared. Instead, he pressed you up against it, holding you up by your legs as you crossed your arms around his neck.

Eddie groaned out, to his own surprise, at you tugging his hair. His hips bucked into yours. Was there any way you didn’t feel how hard he was getting? His mind was becoming increasingly clouded with this visceral and nearly animalistic hunger for you. The kisses were getting sloppier by the second when you started pushing the denim vest off his arms.

The untangling clothes of your bodies was a challenge, but you got there in the end, only getting rid of the most necessary parts. So, naturally, Eddie’s vest and jacket had to go so that he could pull his shirt off. You hiked up your shirt, revealing your bra and pulled your skirt up your legs, while Eddie unbuckled his trousers and let them drop to his ankles, together with his underwear. As it continued, neither of you could explain what came over you.

He reached his hand to play with your cunt over your panties, but you scolded him.

‘No time.’ there wasn’t. You weren’t sure how much time there was left before you had to get to your next class. There was no need to waste the little time you had on foreplay, no matter how much you wanted it or both of you wanted it.

‘Wouldn’t have taken you for being so bossy, sweetheart,’ Eddie smirked and kissed you before you could respond. Simultaneously, he thrust his cock deep inside you. You would have screamed out in pleasure if his lips had not been on you. The feeling of him stretching you out– it was almost blissful.

‘Eddie, oh my god,’ you grabbed his hair tighter as he kept going. It was something that seemed to spur him on. Eddie Munson liked it rough. Not an unexpected discovery, but maybe how you found out– or the fact you got to experience it first-hand, was a bit of a surprise.

‘C’mon baby, c’mon,’ his voice got deeper with each thrust and groan, mixing with your moans and gasps of pleasure. The shelf to which he had pinned you also kept making noise, and the two of you constantly had to keep pulling yourselves back before everything would topple over and the entire school would hear what you were up to.

You could feel yourself getting closer, and you tried to clarify that to Eddie, but coherent words, or even noises, were too much for your brain at that moment. How he actually managed to understand that was a miracle. He kissed you deeper. Like the ones before, the kiss was full of heat and passion. It was hungry and filthy. Messy.

Your nails scratched over his back; Eddie hissed at the sensation, bucking his hips deeper into you. You had just enough time to open your mouth, where a nearly pornographic moan would escape from if it wasn’t for Eddie’s hand that quickly caught it. He pressed his palm over your lips.

‘Shh, don’t want to get caught, do we?’ he smiled. It was a tired smile, enhanced by the pearls of sweat on his chest and his hair curling on his forehead as he kept on pulling you closer to your climax. He pulled you into it. Tighter and tighter. So tight until it all snapped, and you unravelled in his arms.

Eddie pulled out of you slowly, carefully. He held you until both of you caught your breath and pulled your shirt back over your chest… but not before lightly kissing your breasts. Something you couldn’t help but giggle at.

You took the time he spent getting dressed to regain some energy. Never had you ever been fucked like that before. You could readily admit that. Eddie Munson was… something else, for sure. It was terrific… and yet, when you looked at Eddie, something seemed to be off. He was chewing at the inside of his cheeks, brows furrowed, deep in thought.

‘Something wrong?’ you asked.

‘No,’ is all he said, but you called bullshit. ‘This isn’t how I had… Sorry, I guess, if that was a bit…’ he drifted off, cheeks tinged in a pink hue as he focused on buckling his belt.

‘It was great Eddie.’ You wanted him to know you enjoyed yourself.

‘I just… I don’t want you to think that this is why I told you to come here. I had just wanted to talk, actually–’

‘What did you want to talk about then,’ you smiled.

‘I– I’m not quite sure anymore,’ he chuckled, scratching at the back of his head. The boy was utterly whipped and fucked out. You noticed a lock of his hair sticking out, and without much thought, you walked up to fix it.

‘Well, I’m really glad I came,’ you kissed his cheek, which was burning up, ‘in all senses of the word.’

‘I’d be more than happy to do it again,’ he kissed the corner of your mouth. ‘If you’d let me, of course.’

‘It’s a deal, Munson,’ you told him as you walked out of the cupboard.

Eddie felt like he was walking on a cloud for the rest of the day. He couldn’t believe what had happened. He just couldn’t…. He couldn’t think a girl like you would just do all of that with a guy like him. At one point, he actually started considering he had dreamed it all up. He had probably accidentally fallen asleep during a class or something, and it had been nothing more than a figment of his imagination.

Easy to say all of those ideas went away the second Eddie opened his locker at the end of the day, and a small piece of paper fell out. Right on the ground between his feet. On it was written:

Tonight, my house.

How about that deal, Munson?

the End

thank you for reading! please reblog and comment (maybe leave a review??) I would love to think what you thought of it <3

taglist in reblog

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson blurb #stranger things smut #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #imagine #blurb

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heartfullofleeches · 8 months

Text

You've got mail!

Alt title: Single Ghost babes in your area

Yan Chain-Letter Entity + Amab/G.N "Loser" Reader [smut, mdni]

[Tags: light horror elements, masturbation, tit fucking]

!WARNING!

Now that you've read this, there is no going back.

The woman in this photo was a young bride getting for her big day. Following traditions of her new family, she was forced to wear her veil the entire week predating the ceremony, and quite unhappy with her situation. Her marriage was arranged and she had yet to fall for her new husband. She begged for a way out, help given in the form a voice from the shadows offering to change her appearance the night before her wedding. When her husband and in-laws saw her new face the next day - they all went mad from terror. This image is the only picture of her face and she'll do anything to keep it hidden.

Send this message to eight people in seven days, or she'll visit you at midnight on the final day."

"...."

"... hear me out..."

The air stills - warranted caution to keep your big mouth shut where input was not needed - or wanted.

"Why is she hot?..."

A collective, drawn out groan harmonizes from those plagued by your company.

"..what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

Below the totally scary and terror inducing text was a photo of a woman shrouded in darkness. Part of her dark outline rooted from the shadowy grey veil draping to her long, thin neck, and waist-length jet black hair framing her pale, ashen skin. Her sunken eyes and mouth agap in a silent scream stretched the cloth against her hollow cheeks - small, white irises fainty visible from her empty sockets and the veil that hide them. The same white eyes your friend had alleged to have been staring them back at them when they looked in the mirror all week.

As unsettling as the picture was to most in your group, your eyes had settled on the more pleasant sight of her shapely figure shown off in the tightly fitted, lacey gown she wore.

"What?! I can't be the only one that noticed how huge her tits are! I hate when people make these cheesy attempts to scare you, and the monster that's supposed to be sooo scary is just some ghost. You can't even really see her face in the first place!"

"God, how do we put up with you... Just make sure you send that back to the rest of us before you leave."

The bulk of your collective friend group had gathered to comfort the unfortunate soul who received the email, and squander their fears by sending it between one another to meet the chain letter's rule. You tagged along for the offer of free lunch, and now that you've gotten your meal you're ready to head home and avoid meeting these people again with the exception of an online space. You stand up from the table, tucking your phone into your back pocket.

"Yea, yea I'll do it when I get home."

"Y/n..."

"I said I'll do it later. I promise, as soon as I get through the door I'll do it."

11:58....

11:59....

12..

Opening your eyes, you expect to find angry, sunken eyes staring back, but all you see is the blank white wall of your ceiling. A week ago, you sorta forgot about the whole chain letter scare by the time you made it home, and only remembered minutes before the deadline upon realizing how pathetic it'd look if you died with your dick in your hands when you opened a new priva tab on your laptop. As figured, not a damn thing happened upon the stroke of midnight and quite frankly you felt it must've just been some stupid prank by your friends after not hearing a word from any of them during that time frame. You guessed there'd be no hot ghost chick to cause your untimely demise this time - but it never hurt to make sure.

"Gee, I sure hope a sexy ghost doesn't pop out to kill me right as I pull down my sweatpants. That would sure suck, and the embarrassment alone would probably end me!"

Nothing. You reopen your laptop with a heavy sigh. "Welp- Since I'm still alive, guess it's back to tonight's scheduled plans."

Tugging one hand into the waist of your sweats, you pull up one of your usual sites for quality adult content - scouring for the right material to fit the mood. Alot of good choices, but strangely every thumbnail you clicked lead to a dead link. You switch to multiple sights, but the same thing just kept happening. Frustrated, you don't bother wasting time looking at the preview of a message sent by one of your friends as you scroll. If they could wait this long to text you, they could wait a little longer for you to respond.

Ready to throw in the towel and let your imagination work its magic - you finally manage to get a stream open through sheer determination and miscellaneous presses.

"Finally...." You push your sweats past your thighs as the video opens on a woman sitting on a bed. The room is too dark to see most of her, but the camera and lighting was centered on all you needed to see to pull out your swelling length. The woman's flowing gown hugged the plump flesh of her thighs, rolling up to her hips - and revealing the of her transparent fabric of her underwear as she parted her legs slowly. She removes one strap from her shoulder, long hair falling over her breasts as she contorted to better fit her face into frame.

Head crashing into your pillow with a small groan, you fist your cock to the woman's beautiful image and thought of her large tits in placement of your palm. Your hand could only mirror a fraction of their softness and you whine as your thumb pressing the tip, picturing plush lips closing around you as you came. Your entire being yearned to paint her pretty face and chest in your release - narrowly avoiding the unnatural whites of her eyes at the intensity and build up of your climax left your own body out of your control.

Peeling your eyes open for the second time, the speed of your hand slows as you start to get the odd feeling of being watched. Looking back at the screen, the woman stares back, appearing directly in front of the camera as cold sweat breaks down your neck. Her fingers slither along the glass, reaching through your monitor as your eyes widen in horror. You scream- throwing the laptop as far from your person as you coward against the bedframe. It lands, screen upwards feet from your bed. Loud cracks and snaps play from the speakers as the woman pulls herself free with janky, articulated movements. Her gown falls down to her knees and her veil washes over her face as she climbs to her feet.

You pull your blankets over your shamefully, almost painfully hard dick as you raise your hands in defeat. "Please don't kill me! I'll send the messages right now, for real!'

The woman cocks her head to one side - eyes shrinking as you cover yourself.

"Don't hide...."

She crawls over your quivering legs, gripping at the end of her veil.

"I've taken on so many face - yet, none of them have ever been called attractive before.... Tell me..."

The room light's flicker as she pulls the veil upwards - slowly revealing the dark void where her face used to be. Thin claw marks drew from the intact flesh of her cheeks and jaw to the permanent shadows gouging her features dug deep as if whatever had done this to her had taken more than just her face. The pearly points of her teeth and the whites of her eyes were all that remained of her mortal beautiful. Shaking in fear, your body betrays your fright as your cock jumps watching her drag her tongue over her sharp rows of teeth.

"Do you think I'm beautiful now?...."

At lost for words, you dip your head in reply - eventually squeaking through a strained voice. "You're the hottest ghost that's ever been in my room.

The woman's body writhes with a full body shutter as she takes the blanket in her hands. "Let's see that I'm the only person in your bedroom... living or otherwise."

You hiss from the cool air enveloping your cock as the entity tears the last shield protecting your shred of dignity away. It not like the had much to begin with, but sleeping with the ghost that most likely killed your friends definitely took whatever was left. Her heated breath fans your skin as your cock springs from your shorts and against her cheek. Turning her head, your muscles lock as her sharp teeth come to contact with the head of your penis. There's some give before them, lips hidden by the shadows of her face puckered around your weeping tip as an impossible long snakes from between the two and spirals down your girth as her breasts spill from her tightly fitted top.

Cradling an arm beneath them, the ghost woman sandwiches cards your dick between her breasts. Her tongue, still working around you, provides lubrication - and lewd suction as she bounces the weight of her large tits in your lap. The tip of her tongue grazes your balls and you feel them tighten as you rock your hips into the supple flesh of her chest. Her tongue squeezes at your increasing pulse and her veil falls back in place as she to uses both hands to better assist her assault on your pulsing dick.

You tangle your hand through her hair, cock swallowed by her breasts and plump lips. Your other gropes at her tits, toying with her nipples as hitched gasps and the growing sloppiness of your thrusts signed your peak. The coil in your lower abdomen breaks right as she pulls her lips from your swollen head, using her tongue, face and breasts to catch the milky fluid that pumps from you in thick spurts. The white streaks contrast the dark silhouette of her face and as she looks up at you, you use a discarded blanket to wipe some of it away before collapsing on your mattress in a sweaty, panting heap.

The cotton touch of your pillow is placed with soft flesh as the woman crawls beside you in bed and pulls you closer to her. She brushes hair away from your clammy forehead, raising her veil to kiss your skin as your arms fall around her.

"Sleep now, my love... We'll play more once you've gotten some rest. I look forward to all the things we'll do in the future. I'm sorry about your friends, but I seem to be more of the jealous type..."

You fight off the spell of exhaustion to shrug lazily with a reply that makes your new wife smile from ear to ear.

"Eh.... fuck 'em, it was worth it."

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere blurb #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #female yandere #yandere ghost #yandere teratophilia #yandere smut

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dilemmaontwolegs · 9 months

Note

Hey! Love your fics! Have just finished The Taste of Temptation 🥵 a small idea popped in my head where Daniel is away and his Kitty is spending time with other drivers on a yacht. The aussie sees the pics, his blood starts to boil but then he sees the pics where she's putting on his DR3 or Enchante merch on

Temptation Snapshot || DR3 {1}

A/N: there will be a splattering of little snapshots of moments between Danny and his kitten from The Taste of Temptation universe.

F1 Masterlist Story: One || Two || Three || Four || Five Snapshots One || Two || Three || Four || Five

“Are you sure you know how to drive this thing?”

Lando looked offended at the question and purposefully hit the waves in the wake of Charles' boat, launching the JetSki into the air. Your arms tightened around his waist as you lifted from the seat and your heart rose in your throat at the height of the jump. It was instant karma that he winced at the deafening scream of terror you made but it wasn’t enough to drown out the men laughing at your expense on the yacht.

“Where are you going?” Lando asked with a laugh as you abandoned him and jumped into the sea.

“To change my underwear, you dingbat,” you joked as you swam towards the Monza, making Lando nearly tip over as he tried to turn around while doubled over laughing.

When you reached the Monza, Charles offered his hand to help you up since Pierre was too busy cackling to himself. “Did that use up one of your nine lives, kitten?”

Charles arched an eyebrow in disbelief as he looked at his friend who had been taking pictures all day just to annoy Daniel. “Mate, do you have a death wish?”

“He must have, especially if he posted any of those photos.” You reached into your bag and grabbed the powder-blue oversized Enchantée sweatshirt you had stolen from Daniel. Pulling it over your body was the closest you could get to one of his hugs when he was busy with work and when you took a seat there was enough room to tuck your knees up inside it too.

“They are very good pictures,” he defended himself as he took another couple of Lando pulling up alongside the boat, Charles at the helm and you watching the sun reflect on the shimmering surface. “I could be a photographer, I am an artist.”

You looked at Charles and rolled your eyes. “He took one decent photo of Kika, who is the most photogenic person on the planet, and now he thinks he’s Kym Illman.”

“I’ve taken more, but she would kill me if I showed them off,” Pierre admitted with a smirk.

“Oh my god, mate,” Charles groaned a laugh. “That is not smart. Think, if you get hacked, then what?”

You gave Charles a little clap at the point he made but Pierre just laughed it off without a care. “You worry too much.”

Red Bull Training Facility

Sweat drenched the singlet Daniel wore but he pushed himself to finish the last rep knowing a break was coming as soon as he was done. The routine physical fitness test was never fun but the fact it was taking him away from time with you left him in a sour mood. He was doing his best and results were better than ever because he knew the sooner he finished then the quicker he could head home to Monaco where you were waiting.

“Alright, good work. Take a breather, get a drink, and be back here in 10.”

Daniel was quick to grab his phone with his bottle of water and took a seat on the Swiss ball. His lips tugged up into a smile when he saw the messages from you, wishing him well and how much you missed him. He replied to them first, promising everything he would do to show you just how much he missed you too.

Seeing a tonne of notifications on Instagram, he opened the app next and his jaw clenched at what he found. All through his dashboard were images of you wearing next to nothing with the two-piece swimsuit he gave to you. He was surprised the sweat on his body didn’t turn to steam the way his blood boiled.

The whole day had been caught in a series of photos Pierre had posted. There was one of you standing at the bow of the Monza as she pulled out of the marina, you diving off the back and swimming to Lando who had followed on Max’s JetSki, you sitting behind the British driver with your arms around his waist. Every swipe to the next image left him feeling hollow and empty as he watched his kitten’s smile grow with each one.

Until it was gone.

Daniel cursed as he found a picture with terror clear on your face. Lando had launched the JetSki over a wave and you had held onto him for dear life. That was the last photo on the vessel and he sighed with relief when the next photo erased every chaotic thought he had had. You were snuggled into his sweatshirt and watching the sun like you did at home. Daniel would often find you in a similar state most mornings as you sat on the balcony overlooking the sea, a hot tea in hand and his clothes on your body.

Daddy Ric: Stealing more of my clothes, kitten?

Kitten: They look better on me.

Daddy Ric: They’d look even better on the bedroom floor.

Kitten: Then hurry up and come home.

“Break time is over, this isn’t summer camp.”

Daddy Ric: Soon, kitten. I’ll see you tonight.

Click here for another snapshot.

#the taste of temptation #daniel ricciardo fanfic #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x y/n #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #formula 1 fanfic #formula one fanfiction

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justagalwhowrites · 3 months

Text

Yearling - Ch. 27: Found

You try to figure out what you want. Joel and Ellie go on patrol.A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. CLEARLY. It's me. Homophobia. Smut-adjacent. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 11.3k (THIS IS GETTING TO BE A PROBLEM I'M SO SORRY)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Late August, 2027

“You’re making this hard on purpose,” Ellie’s nose scrunched as she held her guitar.

You laughed.

“Promise, Kiddo, I’m not.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you, you know,” she grumbled. You snorted. “I’m serious! Swear you make me do shit the hard way because you fucking enjoy watching me struggle…”

“You learn better when you do it yourself and do it the hard way,” you shrugged, leaning back against a post of your porch. You stretched a leg out onto the step below and picked a little at your guitar. “You’ll never learn if I just give you all the answers.”

“Yeah yeah,” she muttered, leaning to the side to add more of her disorganized scrawl to her notebook. “Swear you didn’t have to work this hard at shit…”

“I started a lot younger than you,” you replied, picking up the pace on your guitar and adding slaps and pops, no real rhyme or reason to it, just what your fingers felt like doing. “Everything is easier when you start young. And hey, you’ve got a leg up on any asshole who tries to learn when they’re my age.”

“Because you’re a dinosaur?” She looked up at you from her notebook, a small smirk on her face.

“Nah,” you replied. “They’d been dead like three years when I was born, I’m not THAT old.”

She laughed and went back to her notes as you kept playing, looking out down the path from your yard to the road beyond.

It was sweltering hot and you’d never been more thankful for a breeze or the fact that it was your day off from the stables. The hair that had pulled loose from your braids stuck to your skin and you’d been sweating all day, waking up with your sheets balled up at the foot of your bed and your tank top damp even with the ceiling fan on. You hadn’t even put on jeans that day, throwing on one of the few dresses that had made their way into your closet in the almost two years you’d been in Jackson. The first you’d taken when Maria mentioned seeing one she thought would fit you, not long before things fell apart with Joel. You’d intended to wear it to the Tipsy Bison on a night there was dancing once it was warmer, opening the door to Joel when you were dressed like what your mother would call “a proper lady.” You’d pictured dancing with him, his hand sliding up the inside of your thigh when you sat down to have a drink until you couldn’t take it anymore and you practically dragged him home, riding him with the skirt bunched up around your waist the second you were in the door.

That had never happened. That dress stayed tucked safely away at the back of your closet, not able to bring yourself to part with it and the image of that night with him.

The other dress was perfect for days like today, long and loose and thin cotton that made the oppressive heat of late summer tolerable. Even if Ellie had looked at you like you had two heads when she saw you in the damn thing.

You didn’t mind, though. You were just glad that you had gotten to the point that you liked spending time with Ellie again. That you’d started feeling much of anything at all.

The first month you got back was hazy. You didn’t really leave your house at first, not able to contribute much at the stable and not seeing a reason to move otherwise.

You weren’t entirely sure how many days passed before there was the first knock at your door.

It wasn’t an Ellie knock. The sound didn’t carry her chaotic energy or almost audacious nature. Instead, it was hesitant but sturdy and firm without being forceful or insistent. You stayed flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling of the closet for a minute to see if the knock would come again. It didn’t. You stared at the ceiling a while longer but, eventually, you had to pee. You forced yourself to move and, on your way back from the bathroom, passed your front door. You hesitated for a moment before you went and opened it, to see if whoever knocked had left a note.

On your porch was a box filled with crackers and jerky and fruit and carrots and celery. All things you could eat without needing to cook or, really, do anything at all. You knew it was from Joel, even though it hadn’t sounded like his knock, either. There was no one else who would have brought it because no one else knew why you were locked inside your home. But he was no where to be seen. He didn’t leave a note.

A few days later, you forced yourself to go to the stable to check on the horses. The fillies and the colt weren’t making much progress without you - you’d have to probably start nearly from scratch with them once your arm healed - but you were able to feel somewhat useful, brushing horses down, checking on their hooves to see when they’d need to be shoed, just giving them some love and attention. That helped you feel a little more like yourself.

Ellie started coming by again a few days after that. She showed up one afternoon with a CD and a sandwich from the mess hall, marching into your living room like nothing had happened, complaining about another kid in town and how Joel wasn’t going to let her patrol with anyone but him for a while.

“I could get partnered with Dina but no,” she drew the last word out, sprawled on your couch, rolling her eyes as she did. “The old man is convinced I’m going to drop dead if he’s not looking out for me for five minutes…”

“I’m sure he’ll ease up once he sees how capable you are,” you said, sitting on the loveseat and picking up the CD case she’d brought with her. The Clash this time. “Mick Jones and Joe Strummer, nice choice. Why do you want to go out with Dina, anyway? I thought not everything was about girls…”

“Shut up.”

“Nah.”

You were’t sure if you were really doing better or if you’d just found a way to push the hurt down inside yourself again. You weren’t sure there was a way to recover from this, from the idea that you’d probably never see your child again. Clinging to the possibility felt so necessary but so foolish. You weren’t sure if it was reason or denial but it didn’t really matter. You weren’t sure you could live without that possibility dulling the jagged edges of your grief and pain.

The boxes of food made regular appearances on your porch. You never saw Joel.

When you were close to getting your cast off, Ellie came by your house but didn’t shove her way inside the way she usually did. Instead, she hovered on your porch.

“OK don’t be mad,” she said, a serious look on her face.

“Off to a great start,” you replied.

She glared at you for a second before pressing on.

“Joel sent me with a message,” she said. “He wanted me to tell you that the movie tonight was something called Ever After and that he thought you would like it and that he wasn’t going to be there so you should go. And to not be mad. I think you shouldn’t be mad, too, by the way.”

“Not mad,” you smiled a little. “I just… I don’t know…”

“Come on, Bambi,” Ellie said, dropping some of her pretense now. “Dina’s going with Jesse and I’ve never seen it and I really don’t want to be stuck sitting by them while they suck face.”

You sighed, looking back over your shoulder in the direction of Joel’s house. You found yourself looking that way a lot.

“Alright,” you said after a moment, looking back at Ellie. “I’ll go. But only to save you from your crush…”

“I’m going to ignore that last part and just be happy you’re going,” she said, a little smug. “Even though you’re annoying about it.”

“So annoying,” you agreed, stepping into your boots, turning on the lamp and following her out the door.

It was strangely easy to adjust to being around the people of Jackson again. Ellie gave you something to focus on, busy trying to distract her from the Dina and Jesse acting exactly like you remembered some of your friends in high school acted with their boyfriends.

“What’s this movie about, anyway?” Ellie asked as the two of you settled in toward the back of the room.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it,” you said. “But I think it was like Cinderella.”

Ellie looked at you and made a face.

“Like the fairy tale.”

“Yup,” you replied. She stared at you and you laughed a little. “What?”

“I’m just trying to picture you liking a fucking fairy tale.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as best you could with one in a cast.

“What?” She teased. “Don’t tell me you like some stupid story where love solves everyone’s problems…”

“What’s wrong with that?” Julie, the woman you’d seen a few times at the Tipsy Bison and when she went out on patrol, appeared alongside Ellie, a large bowl of popcorn in her hands.

“It’s bullshit,” Ellie said. “There’s a reason they’re stories for little kids.”

“Maybe you just haven’t loved that way yet,” she smiled a little before nodding to the chair on the other side of you. “Seat taken?”

You hoped you didn’t just stare at her for too long. People didn’t just talk to you in Jackson, not without a reason, let alone try to sit by you. You weren’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“All yours,” you said, tugging your legs in close so she could pass you and sit down. She settled in beside you and smiled, holding out the bowl.

“Thanks,” she said. “Popcorn?”

“Sure,” you said after a moment, taking some with your good hand. “Thank you.”

“Course,” she smiled a little bigger in a lopsided, almost cocky way. “What’s the point of popcorn if you don’t share it?”

The movie was good. You’d only seen it once or twice before the outbreak but you’d liked it then, too. Cinderella was smart and capable, the prince was handsome and kind and you liked to imagine the way life was in that period of time.

“OK so that wasn’t terrible,” Ellie said as you headed out with her and Julie.

“Told you,” you teased a little.

“No one told me that sometimes the girls in fairy tales got to be badasses,” she replied. “I might have liked the stories more then!”

“The girls are always badasses,” Julie said. “They just try to hide it, scares the men otherwise.”

Ellie snorted.

“Sounds right.”

You reached Joel’s. There was a light on in his living room and you felt the familiar tug in you to go inside and join him. Just let yourself in the front door and settle in like it was yours.

“I’m gonna go tell the old man that his taste in movies isn’t totally awful,” Ellie said, heading up the front walk. “Still want help tomorrow at the stable?”

“Stalls ain’t gonna muck themselves,” you replied and held up your still healing arm. “And this isn’t much help.”

“Ugh,” she groaned good naturedly. “Night!”

You watched until she made it to the front door - not that the precaution was really necessary here but it made you feel better - and you turned to Julie, your good hand stuffed in your pocket.

“I’m that way and to the left,” you said. “So…”

“Mind if I join you?” She asked. “Nice night, figure I’ll take the scenic route.”

You looked at her for a moment.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “Not much to see though.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” she smiled one of those lopsided smiles and fell into step beside you, walking a little slower than you and you slowed down to match her pace. You looked ahead. “So, how’ve you been doing? Don’t see you at the Bison much anymore.”

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Just haven’t felt like going out.” You looked over at her and had the passing thought that she was pretty. Young, with long, dark hair and bright eyes and full lips.“How about you?”

“Oh you know,” she waved you off. “Same old, same old. The berries are coming into season though, have you been to check out the orchards and stuff?”

“I’ve ridden past them,” you said. “Haven’t exactly spent time there, though.”

“You should!” She brightened at that, even more than she already was. The two of you came to a stop at your front walk. “Think you’d like it. You should come with me sometime, it’d be fun.”

“Yeah, maybe,” you smiled a little tightly. “This is me, so…”

“Nice place,” she smiled back, looking more genuine than yours felt. “Well, whenever you want to check it out, let me know. Hope to see you around.”

“You too,” you said, standing there awkwardly for a moment before turning and heading up the walk and into your house.

You went to the mess hall the next morning for breakfast. Dinner, too. And soon, your cast was off and you were going there for most meals, even if it was just to grab something to bring home or go to the stables. The food boxes stopped showing up on your porch.

Instead, you’d come back from the stables and find new guitar strings waiting for you there or a CD that you didn’t have or a copy of Titanic on VHS, the one that took two tapes and you had to get up halfway through to change it.

You’d told Joel he should move on. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to - you doubted you’d be able to stomach seeing him with someone else - but you didn’t want him to be alone, either. You didn’t want to drag him down with you just because you couldn’t separate his past from your own.

“OK so I think I have it,” Ellie said, pulling you out of your head and making your fingers still. “Can you look?”

She shoved the notebook your way and you leaned over your guitar to look at it, fingering the chords but not playing them.

“Yeah,” you said after a minute. “I think that’s probably closer to what you’re looking for, give it a go.”

You pushed the notebook back towards her and she set her guitar on her lap, adjusting it for a second before playing it. You nodded along, watching as she scrunched her face, getting more and more frustrated before she groaned.

“That’s not right either,” she leaned her head back on the post at her back. “Song writing shouldn’t be this hard. This is bullshit.”

“The shit that’s worth doing is hard, kid,” you shrugged. “Why don’t you try thinking about it again for a minute. Do you want it to feel urgent or slow and confident? Both are strong but they’re going to have different vibes.”

She sighed and closed her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Well,” you shrugged, settling back with your guitar. “Figure out how you’re feeling and what you want the song to say about it. It’ll come to you.”

You went back to playing as Ellie picked her notebook back up, gnawing on the end of her pen.

“I didn’t know you played!”

You stopped and your head shot up from its place on the post to see Julie standing at the end of your walk, her hands in the pockets of her shorts, her thick hair piled on top of her head, her arms looking sculpted and strong in her tank top.

“Sorry,” she laughed. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come up?”

“Um…”

“Sure!” Ellie said before you had a chance to really think about it. Julie reached over the short fence and unlatched the gate before opening it and coming up to your porch, sitting on the bottom step so she was looking up at you and Ellie.

“Didn’t know there was a guitar club in town,” she said, folding one leg into her chest and looping her arms around her shin. “Don’t stop on my account! What song was that?”

“Oh, that wasn’t anything,” you said, running your fingers up and down the neck of the guitar. “Just… fidgeting, really.”

“Yeah, Bambi is fucking awesome,” Ellie said. “Best guitar player in town, easy.”

“Ellie,” you gave her a look but she ignored you.

“Seriously, you name it and she can probably play it,” she said. “She knows so much about music it’s insane.”

“Not really,” you cut her off. “I just like music so I learned about what I liked, that’s all…”

“Oh bullshit,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “She’s a human juke box, try her.”

“Do you mind?” Julie asked, looking at you with her brows raised. Her eyes were bright green and almost sharp.

“As long as you’re prepared to be disappointed,” you shrugged. “I can try.”

Ellie scoffed and Julie ignored her.

“I remember this song from when I was a kid, just before the outbreak,” she said. “It actually took me a while to track down the name of it after and you might think it’s silly but… I’m With You? Know that one?”

You smiled a little.

“I know that one,” you said, settling the guitar on your lap. “Haven’t tried to play it before, though. Avril’s not really my wheelhouse, so… go easy on me.”

You couldn’t remember exactly how the song started but you remembered the chorus and you remembered a verse from there. The music just trailed off at the end, not really remembering how the song ended either, and you awkwardly drummed your fingers on the body of the guitar when you stopped playing, Ellie and Julie both watching you.

“Right, well,” you said. “Like I said, not really my wheelhouse and…”

“That was fantastic!” Julie cut you off, her broad smile making the freckles on her cheeks rise.

“Told you,” Ellie said. “She’s the best.”

“Well I figured that much,” Julie rolled her eyes a little dramatically but smiled that cocky smile as she did before looking back to you again. “Thanks for letting me put you on the spot.”

“Any time,” you said before you really had a chance to think about it. She smiled a little bigger.

“Hey, so, I hadn’t meant to break up the jam session,” she said. “I was actually coming by to see if you wanted to come with me tomorrow afternoon, I was going to head out to the orchards for a bit. You’re welcome to join, get outside for a bit. It’s nice, promise.”

“Um,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that day, trying to picture the stable schedule. “I think that would work, I have some patrols leaving that morning but should be able to step away for a bit in the afternoon…”

“Perfect,” she said, getting up. “I need to get down to the Bison but I’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow?”

“That’s where I’ll be,” you smiled in a way you hoped was genuine. “Looking forward to it.”

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Ellie!”

“Bye Julie,” she dragged her name out and gave you a look. You seriously considered kicking her. Julie laughed and started down your walk, only making it halfway to the gate before turning around and walking backwards, looking back at you with her hands in her back pockets.

“Nice dress, by the way,” she said. “It works for you. See you tomorrow!”

You went back to messing with your guitar as you tried to not watch her walk up the lane. Ellie was far less delicate, craning her neck until Julie turned the corner.

She spun to face you and swatted your leg.

“Oh my GOD,” she half whispered, half yelled at you.

“What?” You asked, fingers stilling on the strings.

“That!” She said. “All that fucking flirting!”

“Ellie…”

“Oh come ON,” she cut you off. “You may as well have fucked right on your porch, Jesus Christ…”

“OK I will say this again,” you said, setting your guitar down beside you. “Who is and isn’t between my legs? Not your business.”

“Well that’s just not true,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who fucked Joel and made it my business.” You sighed and went to reply but she held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you two work your shit out and get back together. But if you’re not going to figure it out then you shouldn’t just be miserable and lonely forever and Julie is hot as fuck.”

“Ellie!” You hissed.

“What!” She replied, her brows raised. “She is!”

“Jesus…”

“Just saying!” She said, her hands up in mock surrender. “Julie’s cool. And hot. I think you’d have fun. And you should at least try to have some fun sometimes instead of just being miserable all the time.”

“What if I like being miserable.”

“Just don’t chicken out,” Ellie said, ignoring you and picking up her guitar before getting to her feet. “But I’m getting hungry. Think I’ll go see what the old man is doing for dinner. You’re welcome to come along if you’d rather not be miserable with us…”

“Ellie.”

“Right, right,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean it, fucking go tomorrow. You big chicken.”

“Go home, you little brat,” you replied. She cheerfully flipped you off before heading back toward Joel’s.

You sat on your porch for a while longer, absently playing and watching as the color of the sky slowly shifted from blue to pink to deep, inky black. The darkness seemed to swallow everything, like there wasn’t anything beyond what was right in front of you. But you knew that if you walked far enough, followed the light of the north star, you’d find things beyond what consumed here and now.

It was late when you finally went inside, scrounging in your kitchen for the last of some of what Joel had brought you even though you weren’t particularly hungry. You turned on the stereo and just let whatever CD you’d put in last play, not really paying attention

You found yourself thinking about Julie. About what Ellie said about Julie.

It had been a long time since you’d had a woman flirt with you. You’d been with your fair share of women since the outbreak but flirting hadn’t really been part of it. Marisa was the first woman you’d slept with and, after Savvy came along, you stopped seeking out that kind of connection with men and kept it to strictly women. It just seemed safer. After Marisa, it had always been casual - you didn’t think you could bear another heartbreak like that - and it had always been fairly blunt. You could generally tell if they were interested in letting off some physical steam and, if they were, you had fun for a few days before they moved on.

But things with Julie reminded you of one of your first crushes, a girl who did trick riding on the same circuit as you when you were a girl. You’d first noticed Courtney when you were both 13. She was so beautiful you couldn’t help but stare at her. At first, you’d almost resented her. She was good, damn good, and she was full of charismatic smiles and she dusted glitter across her collarbones that peeked out from the top of her costume. She was exactly who your mother wished you were and, as much as you loved bronc and bull and roping, part of you wanted to be who your mother wanted you to be. You wanted to be satisfied with what she wanted for you and you wanted to be happy being who Courtney was so effortlessly. Life would be simpler and happier if you were content with that and Courtney was proof that life existed. And you wanted it.

You settled for beating her, for a while. Narrowing your eyes at her when you passed her between rounds at competitions, looking her way when you saw your scores narrowly eclipse hers on the board. You loved it. The only thing you wanted more than beating her was her.

Hell if you knew what to do with that.

In hindsight, you weren’t sure she knew, either.

The first time she’d said more than two words to you was when you’d smirked at her as you held the first place trophy. You went to the locker room after the awards ceremony and you had the place almost to yourself, most of the other girls already cleaned out. The third place winner - a girl who’s name you didn’t remember - left and it was just a few seconds later that you heard the door slam into the wall. You looked up to see Courtney stalking over to you. You could see the glitter on her collarbones and her cheeks, her eyes hot and her lips full.

“Want to tell me what the hell your problem is?” She demanded, getting so close to you that you could smell her body spray. It was almost sickly sweet and floral but on her it smelled good. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much!”

“I don’t hate you…” you said.

“Could’ve fooled me!” She cut you off.

“Why do you care?” You snapped. “We compete, we’re not friends, who cares if I hate you?”

“I care!” She snapped back.

“Why!”

“Because I like you!” She yelled, breathless. You just blinked at her for a moment as she caught her breath, her eyes drifting to your lips. “I like you and sometimes…”

She didn’t get a chance to finish. Instead, you kissed her.

It was clumsy and deeply uncertain. You’d never kissed anyone before and you had no idea what you were doing, your hands locked tight at your sides as though touching her anywhere at all was against the rules but you were risking it, anyway. Her mouth was warm and soft and it seemed oddly wet even though that made sense when you thought about it.

After a moment you pulled back from her slightly, your eyes wide, not really believing what you’d just done.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your turn to be breathless now. “I… I don’t know…”

“Shut up,” she kissed you that time, pressing you back against the lockers, stretching up to better reach your lips, her body hot on your own. You kissed her back, trying to focus and take in everything. How she tasted, how she smelled, how her costume hugged the slight curve of her waist.

“Courtney!” Her mother’s shrill voice from the hall made her jump away from you and wipe her mouth on the back of her hand. “You about ready honey?”

“One minute!” She called back before turning to you. “Do you have a some paper?”

You just nodded and fumbled in your bag for a notebook. She turned to a random page that happened to have some history notes on it and wrote her name and number at the top. Her handwriting was soft and curved and feminine and you envied that, too. She drew a little heart next to it.

“Call me,” she said, pressing the notebook into your chest. “OK?”

“Yeah,” you said, staring at her. You couldn’t help but stare at her. “Yeah, I will.”

“Good,” she smiled. “See you next time, superstar. Maybe I’ll finish on top then.”

“Courtney!”

“Coming!” She grabbed her bag out of a nearby locker and gave you an almost sly smile before she ran out to meet her mother.

From then on, most of your time with her was flirting. In between rounds at competitions or on the phone when you were far apart, carefully crafting your words so you’d have plausible deniability with your parents but know what the other meant. You wrote each other letters when you were apart, counted the days until you got to see each other again. When you found an empty spot when you were in the same place, you ended up tangled up together, kissing and fumbling against each other, figuring out what seemed to stoke the fires deep inside yourselves in the small moments you could find for just the two of you.

That continued for just over a year when Courtney came to a tournament with a somber expression on her face. You frowned but she gave you a subtle shake of her head as she passed you and you kept quiet. It took a few hours before you were able to get her alone and she told you the truth of it. That her mom had found your letters to her - thankfully not signed so she had no idea who had written them but still obviously from another girl - and had told her daughter that she, unequivocally, would end it.

“But…” you protested, trying not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice thick. “But… she threatened to send me to one of those camps if I don’t and… I can’t go to that, OK? I can’t, I don’t think I could make it and…”

You held onto her as she cried, her tears making little rivers in the glitter on her skin.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really… I think I…”

You kissed her before she said it.

“Me too,” you said quietly when you pulled away.

She sniffed and smiled a small smile.

“Maybe in another life, right?”

“Right,” you smiled a little back.

She dried her eyes as best she could and you watched from the stands as she gave the best performance you’d ever seen. You did the opposite. Your routine ended with a full Stroud Layout but your top foot slipped when you were getting into position and you fell off your horse, tumbling over and over yourself in the sand of the arena, the feel of it gritty in your mouth as your head spun when your body finally came to a stop.

You didn’t make the podium and your mother didn’t push you to compete again for a while. You never saw Courtney again.

You weren’t sure how to navigate things with Julie. You weren’t sure what you wanted to navigate with Julie. She was beautiful, yes. And she seemed kind and funny and smart. She seemed like someone you could have fun with and could care about.

But she wasn’t Joel. You weren’t sure you could feel like you felt for him for anyone else. It seemed silly to even try. And if you couldn’t feel like that, what was the point?

You tried to sleep but gave up eventually. After a while, you found the moose carving you’d started when you were out with Joel, looking for Savvy. It was getting closer to being done, though it was still a rough hewn thing. You weren’t sure anyone who didn’t know what it was supposed to be would realize what it was without help. But still, it felt good to make something. You let yourself be absorbed by carving it for a bit, until it felt like you’d shut your mind down enough to sleep. You set the moose down on the nightstand, arranging him so it was like he was watching you sleep, the red splotch from your blood still staining his chest.

You brought him with you to the stables the next day for something to work on when you needed the distraction. Just sitting there with your thoughts when you had downtime seemed like a bad idea.

“You’re gonna tell me all about it, right?” Ellie asked as you gave Shimmer and Ares a final once over that morning.

“I don’t need to tell you every time I hang out with someone,” you replied.

“Whatever,” she said. “Just don’t chicken out. Actually go, you need a social life…”

“What, getting sick of keeping me company all the time?” You teased, handing her the reins.

“Yeah, you’re pretty fucking boring,” she smirked a little. You snorted. “I’m serious though. Promise you’ll go.”

“I’m going,” you said, giving her a gentle shove toward the door. “Get out of here. Be safe on patrol, see you back tonight.”

“Not if you’re at Julie’s you won’t,” she waggled her eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes as you watched her lead her and Joel’s horses out of the stables.

Time dragged until that afternoon and you found yourself feeling oddly nervous, waiting for Julie to come by. You weren’t sure what time she was supposed to get there and, you realized, you didn’t know what to actually expect with any of this.

Yeah, it had felt like flirting. And Ellie seemed sure that it was. But Ellie was a kid and your recent experience in that department was so limited you really knew fuck all about it. What if you’d read the situation completely wrong? What if Julie was just a nice woman who wanted to be friends?

“Hey you,” Julie’s voice surprised you enough that it made you jump, water sloshing over the side of the bucket you were carrying to top off one of the horses. “Shit, I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you…”

“You’re fine,” you said quickly, refilling a waterer and setting the bucket down.

“Now still good?” She asked. “Because I’m not in a rush, today is my day off…”

“Now’s good,” you said quickly, trying not to think too hard about what she was wearing. Her long, lush hair was softly braided and hung over her shoulder, loose strands framing her face. Her shorts were short and her legs were long and sculpted and she wore a few long necklaces that settled into the curve between her breasts. She smiled.

“Great!” She held up a bag you hadn’t noticed before. “Brought snacks. Not that we’ll need much, it’s peak berry season out there. We could eat ourselves sick and not make a dent.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you smiled a little.

“Oh, I intend to,” she smiled back.

Julie led the way out of town, smiling and chatting with the guards at the gate for a moment before heading toward the orchards just east of town.

“So why are you heading out here on your day off?” You asked, looking over at her.

“Well as I think you know, one of my main contributions to the good people of Jackson is tending bar at the Bison,” she smiled. “But that’s because I just really like drinks. I found this old cocktail book when I was a teenager and I just kind of became obsessed, I guess? There was that and these books and magazines that showed what it was like before and I wanted to do that. Have the experience of going to a bar when life was different, you know? And yeah, we make some pretty decent booze here in town - or I think we do, anyway, didn’t really get to try any before - but that’s not all it takes to make a good cocktail. I can’t make a Coke or anything but I can make the syrups and infusions and things. I like to experiment in my spare time so I come out here, pick the supplies I need, and give things a try at home before I bring my ideas into the Bison.”

“Do I get to know what you’re working on?” You asked, brows raised.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she smirked. “But I will need a guinea pig before too long if you’re game…”

“Far be it from me to turn down a free drink,” you replied and she smiled bigger.

The orchards were, indeed, beautiful. You followed her to a particularly dense spot and she pulled a blanket out of the bag, spreading it on the ground in the shade of an apple tree.

“I won’t lie,” she said, sitting back on her hands and closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is probably my favorite spot.”

“I can see why,” you nodded, drawing your knees into your chest and looking around. “It’s gorgeous here.”

“It’s quiet here,” she laughed a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jackson. Way better than the QZ we were in when I was a kid. It’s a good place with good people. I love the people, truly, I do. But everyone knows everyone and knows everything about everyone and it’s so hard to have anything for yourself, you know?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s a great place but… it’s definitely a lot.”

You talked a little about your pasts. You told her - vaguely, lightly - about your time before Mitchum. She told you about her time in the Denver QZ and you almost fainted when she said she was only 31 years old.

“How old were you when the world ended?” You gaped at her. “Do you even remember?”

“I was seven,” she laughed. “I remember a bit. How old were you?”

“Older than that,” you replied. “Jesus…”

“Not that old, clearly,” she said, picking a blackberry off a bush and holding it out to you. “This is a good one, you should have it.”

“Old enough,” you replied. “And if it’s good, you should have it.”

“I have them all the time,” she said, stepping close to you. You were suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you were wearing the same clothes you’d been wearing when working with the horses all day and you hoped you didn’t smell. She pressed the berry to your lips. “Try it.”

You obeyed, taking the fruit into your mouth and biting into it, the juice bursting on your tongue.

“See?” She smiled. “Told you.”

The two of you ended up back on the blanket and you stretched out on it, looking up at the clouds drifting lazily past overhead, arms bare - too hot to wear anything more than a tank top - but not feeling overly exposed. Julie lay next to you, her arm brushing your own.

“Is it weird that I sometimes don’t feel like I missed out?” She asked. You felt her adjust next to you and you glanced her way to see her lying on her side, facing you. “I mean I know there was a lot before that we don’t have now but… I dunno, I guess I still wanted to be a ballerina when the world ended. It doesn’t feel like I really gave up all that much, you know?”

“Think that has as much to do with Jackson as anything else,” you replied, adjusting so that you were facing her. “But I get that, in a way. If I’d found Jackson when I was younger, I think I’d feel the same. Shit, what I’m doing now is exactly what I grew up wanting to do. If it wasn’t for all the time in between, the end of the world would have just turned into me getting just what I wanted. Besides all the death anyway.”

“Think you’re right about the Jackson thing,” she smiled a little. “It’s a special place with good people. Like a few better than the others, though.”

“Yeah?”

She reached out and brushed some of the hair that had fallen from your braid back from your face and trailed her fingers down your cheek and your chin.

“Yup.”

She leaned in then, moving slow and holding your gaze, giving you all the time in the world to stop her if you wanted.

You didn’t.

Her kiss was soft and gentle, her lips smooth on yours. She tasted and smelled sweet and her hand went to your hip, tugging you against her.

Julie’s body was softer than you expected as she pressed against you and, in so many ways, she felt safe and comfortable there. But she felt foreign, too. You’d become accustomed to a different form on yours, one that was larger and broader and firmer.

You tried not to think about him as her kiss deepened, as your hand went to her waist and trailed over her side but stopped short of cupping her breast.

She nudged you onto your back and she settled on top of you, her chest pressed tight to yours, her hips starting to rock gently against you. You ran your hands over her back to the top of her ass but didn’t go lower, not able to shake the subtle wrongness of kissing someone and feeling someone who wasn’t Joel.

After a minute, she pulled away from you.

“I get the feeling you’re not as into this as I am,” she said, panting a little. You opened your mouth to argue but she silenced you with a look. “If I misread things, I’m really sorry. But you should know that you don’t have to fuck me just because I’m trying to fuck you.”

“You didn’t misread anything,” you said quickly.

“Good,” she smiled a little. “But… It doesn’t seem like you’re feeling this.”

You winced.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you said. “But… I don’t think I’m feeling what you are.”

“Well shit,” she laughed a little and rolled off you, lying flat on her back beside you. “I really am sorry if I came on too strong or did something you didn’t want…”

You laughed a little.

“Definitely not that,” you said. “Just have… other things on my mind. And you deserve someone’s full attention.”

She turned her head to look at you and you turned yours, too.

“It’s Joel, isn’t it?” She asked. You winced a little. “Sorry, I’m not trying to dig into anything that’s not my business, it just… seemed like you guys split up a while ago so I thought it would be OK. I’m sorry.”

“No, it probably should be,” you said. “It’s got nothing to do with you, trust me.”

“Well,” she said. “At the risk of this being the most awkward hang out ever… want to help me get some raspberries?”

“Sure,” you laughed a little. “I’d like that.”

She smiled.

“Good. Me too.”

It was awkward for a bit, but by the time the two of you started back to Jackson, it was lighter. Easier. Like you’d never kissed at all.

Julie walked with you back to the stables, not too long before you were expecting patrols that weren’t out overnight to return.

“Even with everything today, I hope we can be friends,” she said. “I do actually like you. Not just because I’d like to fuck you.”

You laughed a little.

“Yeah, I’d like that, too,” you said. “I’m sorry I’m not… in the same place on the fucking front…”

“I’d rather pretend we never found that out,” she laughed a little. “Maintain some of the mystery. But, you know. If anything changes, it’s a small town. You know where to find me.”

“That I do,” you said.

She turned to leave but seemed to think better of it and turned back.

“If he’s it for you?” She said. “I think you should figure out a way to make it work. No point in wanting something and acting like you can’t have it when it’s right there, you know? And yeah, it’s not really my business and yeah, I don’t know you all that well but… something tells me you’re not going to be feeling any different anytime soon. And I don’t think he is either. Just… my two cents.”

She smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Thanks, Julie,” you said quietly. She gave your arm a squeeze.

“See you around, Bambi.”

You watched the door she left through for a few minutes after she was gone before you went back to work.

The patrols all made it back without incident, Ellie returning her and Joel’s horses. She asked how things went but you just waved her off and she deflated a bit.

“I keep trying to get some excitement around here,” she said. “You are no fucking help, you know that?”

“I am so sorry my romantic life isn’t more entertaining,” you said wryly. “I’ll work on that. Entirely for your benefit, of course.”

“Well you’re clearly not going to do it for your own.”

You just rolled your eyes as she headed back home. You stayed late at the stables. Not for any real reason, you just didn’t want to be at home alone and going to the mess hall didn’t sound like what you wanted, either. You worked on the moose carving, pleasantly surprised at the progress you’d made on him.

You ended up working on him until, almost suddenly, you realized he was done. Fully formed - or as close to it as you could get him - with four legs and jagged shapes for the antlers. But he looked like a moose, broad and steady and strong. You turned him over in your hand a few times, running your finger over the arch of his back and the curve of his neck.

“What am I going to do with you?” You said quietly, holding it up in front of you, looking where his eyes would be if he had them. The bloodstain was still crimson on his chest.

After a few minutes, you got up off the floor of the stable and did your final check for the evening before locking up behind you and heading home.

You took the long way.

It was dark but not so late that the Tipsy Bison had closed for the night, a warm glow coming from the windows. With the sun down, you were a little cold with bare arms but you didn’t mind. You walked slowly, watching the stars as you went.

You stopped at the end of Joel’s walk. The lights were out. You thought he probably went to bed early - he got tired after a patrol - but he could be at the Bison, too. Either way…

You all but crept up his walk, holding the moose tightly in your fingers. You stopped at the base of his stairs and held the rough-hewn animal in front of your face again.

“Keep an eye on him for me?” You said quietly to the wood. It didn’t say anything back. You stepped as lightly as you could up the stairs but the same step as always squeaked below you. You set the moose on Joel’s doormat before turning to go, making the step squeak again. You made it almost all the way back up the walk when the lights inside turned on and you picked up the pace.

It didn’t matter. You heard the front door open just as you turned onto the street and your eyes darted over toward him before you could help it.

“Bambi?” He called, not too loud. He was in his blue cotton plaid sleep pants and a black t-shirt that hugged his body just right, tight across his shoulders and upper arms, highlighting the soft curve of his stomach. You stopped for a moment and just gave him a tight smile before continuing on home.

When you went to bed, you found yourself looking at the spot on your nightstand where the moose had been before, part of you wishing he was still beside you.

***

“Hey. Hey Joel.”

Joel smiled a little to himself. He recognized Ellie’s tone.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?”

He sighed, trying to sound annoyed. He wasn’t sure if it worked.

“Get the feeling you’re gonna tell me either way.”

“Eh, never mind,” Ellie said, sounding a little put out. Joel looked back at her, frowning slightly. And then she smirked. “It’s too cheesy.”

Joel groaned.

“That one’s bad, baby girl.”

“No it’s not!” She rode up alongside him even though the trail wasn’t really wide enough for that. “That was a good one!”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “It was terrible, three out of 10.”

“Bullshit!”

“What would you give it?” He asked, brows raised. “Because I’m questioning your judgement here…”

“At least a six.”

“No.”

“Yes!” She laughed. “You’ve just got shitty taste, old man.”

“Uh huh,” he laughed. “And what’s that say about you then, hm?”

“Broken clock is right twice a day,” she replied. “You were bound to accidentally do OK every now and then. Will Livingston, however, is right every time.”

“You got that entire book memorized?” He teased lightly. “If not, you gotta be close…”

“I’m getting there,” she said. “Saving the best for last.”

Joel just shook his head a little.

He loved patrolling with Ellie. Even more than he thought he would. It was so much like when he’d first come to know her and care for her. It was a time, he realized now, that made him understand that he could still love. That he had it within himself to care for another person, that he could cope with the fear of loss that came with attachment because Ellie was worth it. He liked spending the time just the two of them and getting to know her better as the young woman she was becoming instead of the little girl he’d come to know years earlier. She’d grown so much, come into her own in a way that was only possible in a place like Jackson. She had friends and hobbies and had become part of the community there. Every day with her was reassurance that he’d done the right thing. That every life he’d taken that day in the hospital was a worthy price to pay.

Joel had left Jackson with Ellie plenty before patrolling with her, back when she was still speaking to him. Before she found out the truth of everything. He’d loved it then, too. But this was different. She was still his baby girl but they were out here as partners, working together to protect the community they both loved. It was a glimpse of the future they had, one where their lives moved along side by side and he got to watch her find her place and fall in love and have a family of her own and just be happy as herself.

They were only a day out from Jackson now, heading in from a three day long patrol. It was Ellie’s first overnight patrol and she’d been so excited for it, even as she tried to pretend like she wasn’t. The days before they left town, Ellie was over at his house every night, going over the list of what she should bring and looking over the map. She’d lit up when he said they could bring a guitar, something else that made Joel smile.

It had been more than a month since she’d gotten him back into playing, showing up at his house with a guitar and saying she wanted his opinion on something. She played American Girl, one of his favorites, and set the guitar down when she was done.

“That was amazing, baby girl,” he’d said, more than a little in awe of her. “Where did you learn that?”

“Bambi,” she replied. “But do you think it’d sound better with two? I feel like it would. But you’re the musician so…”

It was an obvious ploy but it made him smile a little. The idea that Ellie would do that much to make him play again. That you’d help her.

“It might,” he said, getting up to get his instrument. “Let’s give it a try.”

Joel tried to not think of you too much. He usually failed. But he was getting better at not drowning in the memories of you, of not letting the loss of you consume him.

It helped that he’d found a way to care for you while respecting the distance you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to just abandon you, not when he had a sense of how much you were hurting. So he brought you food. Selfishly, it served two purposes. It meant you were, hopefully, eating something. But it also meant he knew that you were still alive. That he could leave a box on your porch, walk by a few hours later, and see that it was gone. He could check on you without forcing you to talk to him and that eased the steady drumbeat of worry inside him.

When he heard you were back at the stables, he shifted from things you needed to things you would want. He brought you the things he found that made him think of you, things he’d have given you when he came home to you in another life.

It also helped that he knew you thought of him, too. At least occasionally, enough that you’d left the carving you’d made on his porch a few weeks before. He thought he was hearing things when the first squeak woke him up from his place on the couch, but then the step squeaked a second time and he was sure he heard it. He’d thought it might be Ellie, needing something but not necessarily wanting to say it. He hadn’t expected to see you heading down the street, the first glimpse of you he’d had in so long. Your arm was out of the cast and you looked good. A bit thinner than you’d been the last time he’d seen you but still good. Still beautiful, still soft with sharp edges. Still what he wanted to sink into and wrap himself up in every chance he got. He picked the moose up and brought it inside, tracing the outline of its frame for a moment. You’d finished it. It was rough, you were clearly a beginner, but you’d finished it and given it to him. His thumb brushed the wound on its heart, where you’d bled. Before he really thought better of it, he brought the figure to his lips and kissed it gently before setting it on the side table and turning out the lights.

The two of you were set to leave Jackson again in just a week, another gap in the patrol schedule that you could leverage to search for Savvy now that you were healed. He hoped this search led somewhere. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living like that, not knowing what happened to your child. The closest he’d come was the torturous time that Ellie was with the monsters who’d taken her in Silver Lake. He was so frantic, so terrified of what he’d find but even more terrified of never finding it to begin with. He needed to save her, protect her. But if he couldn’t do that, he needed to know what happened to her. He needed to know who to destroy before he destroyed himself for letting it happen. Living in that for years would be unbearable.

“Hey Joel?”

He could hear the frown in her voice.

“Yeah Baby Girl?” He looked over his shoulder, Ellie and Shimmer falling behind him again now that the trail had narrowed further. She stopped and so did he.

“That’s something we should be watching for, right?” She nodded toward something off the trail, a small frown on her face. Joel followed where she was looking and he froze in his saddle.

It took an eagle eye to spot it, just brush amongst brush, but it shocked him when he saw it. The gentle arch of a sapling, stretching down toward the ground, held there with rope.

“Yeah,” he said. “It is. Stay with the horses.”

“But…”

“Just one second,” he said, dismounting and going for the trap, trying desperately not to get his hopes up but his heart was racing. It was a common set up for a trap. It could be anyone’s.

This trap was far fresher than the one he’d found with you, the dirt where the pin and been put in the ground still disturbed. The trap itself was still baited and the pins were smooth, almost artistically carved. It hadn’t been here long. He looked around quickly, looking for some indication of where the person who set this trap might have gone. It took some doing - whoever it was covered their tracks well - but he found it, the edge of a boot print.

He went back to his horse and mounted up.

“Ellie,” he said, voice serious. “Need you to listen to me, OK?”

“OK,” she frowned. “Joel, you’re acting weird…”

“We’re gonna track someone,” he said. “But when we find them, need you to not shoot them until we talk to them, OK? And… and if its a teenaged girl, need you to not shoot them even if she pulls a gun on me, OK?”

“A teenaged… Joel, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Just trust me,” he said. “Please.”

He started with the boot print and found little hints of someone moving through the brush from there. Disturbed leaves, a splotch of dirt that looked misplaced, a small branch that had snagged on another when something about human height passed below it.

“Joel,” Ellie said after they’d been tracking for about 20 minutes.

“Still looking,” he said gently. “It’s OK…”

He heard something rustle down low up ahead and he adjusted Ares’ path to check on it. He didn’t need to go far, the source of the sound only about 100 feet away and next to a large rock. Standing there, beside to a large horse and a large dog, was a girl. She was a little taller than Ellie, with gangly arms and legs, a rifle held high in her hands.

“Stop right there!” She said, her voice sharp with a familiar southern twang. The dog moved in front of her, getting down low and bearing its teeth. “Don’t wanna shoot you but I will. You can move right along, this spot’s taken.”

Joel lifted his hands and caught a glimpse of Ellie raising a gun next to him.

“Ellie!” He said sharply. She looked at him, eyes wide. “Gun down. Now.”

“But…”

“Now.”

She huffed but lowered the gun slowly, her eyes back on the girl in front of her.

“Won’t shoot you in the back,” the girl said. “Just turn around and go.”

Joel fought to focus. The girl in front of him… she looked like Sarah, so so much like Sarah. The same shock of curly hair, same brown skin, same bright eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d think they were sisters. He fought to stay here, in the forest with Ellie, not getting swallowed by his own memories. He’d found her. He was all but certain of that now, he’d found her and he was going to bring her back to you.

“You out here on your own?” He asked gently, his hands said up.

“Don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” she said sharply. “All that matters to you is that I will kill you, don’t try me.”

“I understand,” he said. “Not going to hurt you…”

“Bullshit.”

“We’re not,” Ellie snapped.

“Ellie.”

“What!” She said. “Joel, I swear, if she shoots you…”

“Remember what I said,” he replied.

“But…”

“I mean it,” he cut her off. “Don’t, OK?”

He turned back to the girl.

“Not going to hurt you,” he said again. “Just… just hear me out for just a second, OK? We’re from a settlement, about a day’s ride from here…”

“Good for you,” she said. “Better head that way then.”

“It’s a good place,” he said, ignoring her. “With good people. Including… including your mama, I think.”

Her eyes went a little wide and she lowered the gun ever so slightly. He caught a glimpse of Ellie’s head whipping around to look at him but he kept his eyes on the girl.

“Your name’s Savannah, right?” He pressed on. “Your mom, she calls you Savvy, right?”

She raised the gun again.

“How’d you know that,” snapped. “You one of the assholes that took her? That it? What, you kill her? Get her to tell you about me first? That what happened?”

“No honey,” Joel said, his throat tight. He’d found her, he’d found your daughter. “No, she… she escaped them, few years back. She got hurt real bad doin’ it, we brought her in, got her fixed up and she stayed. She’s been looking for you but she’s still there…”

“Why should I trust you?” She snapped. “Why should I believe a damn thing you say?”

“Because I know her,” he said. “Been helping her look for you. She’s… I know her. She trains horses, guessin’ she trained the one you’ve got? She trained the one I’m on, too. She runs our stable for us, she…”

“Bambi?” Ellie gaped at him. “Bambi’s her mom? Bambi has…”

“Ellie,” Joel said again, cutting her off and looking back at Savvy.

“She’s there,” he said. “She misses you, she misses you so much. Told me how you liked to read to the horses when you were little. How the dogs liked you better than her. How you’re real good at carving… Recognized your trap, found another one of yours a few months back. She told me how your pins are always smooth and even… Let us take you back with us. Won’t take your guns, just… just come back with us. Please. She misses you so much, she’s been so worried…”

“We’re not people to be afraid of,” Ellie said and Joel glanced her way. She was looking at Savvy now, her face serious. “Well, as long as you’re not an asshole. I know Joel seems scary but he’s not. Promise. He’s safe.”

She lowered the gun slowly, looking between the two of them before looking down at the dog.

“Gattling,” she said. “Heel.”

The dog dropped its defensive stance and went alongside her, looking up and waiting for a command. She looked back at Joel and Ellie.

“You really know my mom?” She asked quietly. “She’s… she’s really alive?”

“She is,” Joel nodded, lowering his hands to the saddle horn. There was a knot in his throat. “And we can take you to her. Please.”

She hesitated for a moment.

“She teaches me stuff about music,” Ellie said quickly. “How to play some stuff on guitar, too, but more about music in general. She’s cool. Really. I’m… I’m sure she wants to see you again. And Jackson’s nice. And so are we. Just come along, OK?”

She took a deep breath, looking down at the dog for a moment, adjusting her grip on the rifle.

“OK.”

***

“She’s in rare fucking form this week,” Olivia said, watching as you steadied Persephone, one of the fillies you were working with.

“She’s just got an independent streak,” you said, the horse’s feet stomping impatiently in the dirt. “That’s OK. I get that. So do the best of us, right?”

She huffed and jerked her large head. You smiled a little.

“You’re sure she’s not gonna throw you?” Olivia asked, sounding a little worried.

“No,” you shrugged. “But I’ve gotten thrown off horses before, nothin’ new. Only way to break her is to break her, no point in stalling. You in a good spot?”

“Think so,” she said, stepping a little further back from the horse as you got ready to mount her.

“Then let’s go,” you said, all but jumping onto Persephone’s back. You barely got your foot in the stirrups before she started really bucking, Olivia moving even further away. You clutched the reins in one hand and let your hips go loose, digging your heels down toward the earth to stay seated. You let your body move with her as she hurled herself through the air, desperate to dislodge you. But you weren’t going anywhere. She gave you a good shake that made you grab the back of the saddle but otherwise, she didn’t get anywhere close to throwing you. After a while, she started to calm, her movements still sharp and harsh but closer to the earth, her hooves staying on the ground more often than not. Eventually, she mostly stilled, just tossing her head and huffing indignantly.

“See?” You said soothingly, reaching forward to pat her neck. “That’s my good girl, you did so well…”

“Bambi,” Olivia said, catching your eye. She nodded toward the gate to the paddock and you frowned a little before you followed her gaze.

Standing there was Joel and Ellie, their reins in their hands. But between them was a girl. She was young, a teenager, with springy curls and brown skin and wide, soft eyes.

You knew those eyes. You knew those eyes and that hair and that skin. For a moment, the world shrank to a small point centered on her and you wondered if, maybe, you’d finally lost your mind. If something had finally broken so thoroughly that you were seeing things.

But you weren’t. She was here. Your daughter was alive and she was here, in Jackson.

“Savvy,” you breathed and Persephone bucked below you. You weren’t paying attention to the horse and you flew off her back and into the dirt, landing with a brain rattling thud. You didn’t care.

You scrambled to your feet, throwing a glance back at Olivia to make sure she had Persephone so Savvy wouldn’t get hurt, and ran for her.

“Mom,” she said, her voice thick as you reached her and pulled her into yourself. You clutched her to your chest until you thought you could feel her heartbeat alongside yours, clinging to her too close to even kiss her or look at her but you needed to feel the life in her first, soak up the vitality of her before someone took it away.

“You’re alive,” you managed, voice thick. You buried your nose and mouth in her hair, breathing her in. “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re OK, you’re…”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said wetly and you pulled back from her just enough to look at her. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she sniffed as you took her face in your hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, I thought you were gone, I…”

“I’m so sorry baby,” you kissed her forehead before pulling her against you again and clinging to her. “I’m so sorry I let you go, I’m so sorry I didn’t get to you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s OK Mom,” she said, her hands holding your elbows. “I’m OK, it’s OK, I promise…”

You just held on to her, trying to memorize everything about her that you could. That she was taller now, that her shape had changed, that it seemed like she hadn’t had a chance to really grow into her limbs yet.

You looked up at Joel who was still there, his eyes wet, watching you hold your daughter.

“You found her,” you said softly.

He just nodded.

“Found her,” he said. “Couldn’t have without you, though. With everything you told me about her, was able to find her.”

You just nodded, running your hand down the back of her head as you held her.

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, holding her so tight that you were worried you might hurt her but too afraid that she’d slip away to stop. “Thank you.”

Next Chapter

A/N: AHHHH SAVVY'S HERE!!!!

And Joel found her. I'm so happy that Bambi has her baby back, for real. Things are getting there. I promise.

Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this story! Don't forget that you can get updates on my updates blog here.

Love you!!

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#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc

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spidernuggets · 2 months

Text

Jason Todd x Reader

"When things get too heavy for you, you tell me, and we carry that shit TOGETHER, so it's not so heavy anymore!"

Warnings: misperception of cheating (Jason doesn't actually cheat, he'd never my baby boy mwah), mentions of alcohol, comparisons to Artemis, self-shaming

When Jason walked into your shared apartment, a faint smell of alcohol travelled through the air. This raised your suspicions even more.

Jason had told you last night he had gone on a quick emergency mission instead of his usual patrol, so he wasn't able to message or call you.

But last night, quickly popping into a nearby bar that your cousin worked at to drop off her house keys that she forgot she left with you, you saw a familiar black with a white streak hair man at the counter just when you were walking out the door. And for a split second, you could've sworn you saw a long-haired ginger woman beside him.

You shook the idea away, telling yourself that you trust Jason. Ever since Jason told you that he was Red Hood, the two of you pinky swore to never keep secrets from each other. You would've thought by then that Jason would've told you more about it, but he was pretty quiet about it. You figured that it was all the same mishaps for every patrol.

But you could smell his usual Coors Light wafting off of him as he walks towards you to kiss your head.

"Hey pretty," he barely mumbled before going into the kitchen, digging through the fridge.

As much as his little nicknames made your heart beat faster, you couldn't get the faint image of his hair and a certain Amazonian ex's hair together. And every second you thought of it, the more you could feel your heart crack a little further.

"Where were you last night?" Your voice was small, but the small, almost empty apartment made it easy for Jason to hear you.

"What? I told you, I was at a missi-"

"Don't lie to me. I know you weren't on a mission. I saw you." You spat. You wanted to be wrong. You wanted Jason to laugh at you, hug you, and call Dick or Bruce or anyone and tell them to tell you he was on a mission with them.

"Were you with Artemis?" You ask, wanting it all to be untrue.

Jason didn't look at you. He sighed. "Yeah? So what. It's not like anything happened." He said nonchalantly.

"You expect me to believe that after you lied to me about going on a mission and I catch you at a bar with your ex?" You scoff, your arms crossed and leg folded over the other. You sucked in a breath. "You know, you could've at least broken up with me. It would've felt nicer than you blatantly cheating on me without trying to let me know"

"Wait, what?" Jason said in disbelief. He couldn't say anything else. He didn't know how to explain his situation to you. So he stayed silent.

You slowly nodded your head. "Okay," you whispered, getting up to go to your shared bedroom. Well.. maybe not so shared bedroom now. You grabbed a bag, trying to stuff whatever you can into it.

Jason soon rushes in after you. "What- what are you doing??" He asks in a panic. "You're not leaving- you can't, please!" He begs.

You shook your head. "You left first! You left me by the time you let Artemis all over you! You know what- Honestly, I'm so stupid. Why the fuck would you want to be with someone like me anyway."

You didn't see Jason or Artemis all over each other that split second that you saw them. But now knowing that they definitely were together last night - that whole night, all you could imagine Jason realising that you weren't enough for him, that maybe he made a mistake separating with Artemis.

You wiped away the falling tears you didn't even know escaped your eyes as you zipped up the bag.

"No, wait! Don't leave- Dammit!" Jason fumbled over his words. "Nothing happened! She wasn't all over me! Just- Just stay, okay?? Nothing happened. Seeing her last night was just a one-time thing!"

You could hardly process what he was saying. There was ringing in your ears, and your vision was blurred. "Don't do that to me. Don't do that 'one-time' bullshit. If you really wanted me to stay, it should've been a zero time thing."

It was obvious that you thought you were a downgrade to Jason's past lovers. Or at least that's what you thought. But you found yourself so much less as a partner than his other lovers that all you can think about him going back to any of them.

"Listen, I'm sorry! I promise nothing happened! I won't lie to you again! It won'thaopen again!" He raises his voice, desperate for you to stay.

I slumped my shoulders. "How am I supposed to believe it won't happen again, huh? If it happened once, it's bound to happen again! How am i supposed to believe that you won't run off again to some other girl who's stronger, prettier and- and is just as badass as you are- I'm none of those things, Jason! If that's what you really wanted, then why even bother with me?!" You lay out all of your insecurities and weakness to Jason. Your breathing becomes heavy and uneven.

His brows furrowed. You were strong. You were beautiful. And you'd never even given him the chance to think you weren't.

"I'm not 'bothering' with you! What I really want is you! Not some other girl with muscles and-" He paused, trying to gather his words. And failing. He had no idea what the right thing to say was. All he knew for sure was that you were the only one he wanted. "I only want you."

"Then why the hell were you with Artemis in the first place?" You cried, throwing your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave.

"Look. It was just one time. I was at a weak place and- and she was there to help me. That's it. Nothing more." He tried to explain.

"So why not come to me if you're feeling that way, Jason?! That's literally what I'm here for, I'm here for you! Was I just not enough that you had to go to Artemis?!"

He growled, the question hitting a nerve. "You know I would tell you if something was bothering me. The reason I didn't is because- because I don't want to be a burden to you! You have enough shit knowing who I really am and I-"

He paused, swallowing. "You don't need me to be another bother in your life. You're strong, you're confident, you don't need me weighing you down with my bullshit."

You scoffed, pulling your hair back, your hand gripping against your hair. "Jesus Christ- I WANT you to weigh me down with your bullshit! That's my job when I decided to be in a relationship with you! When things get too heavy for you, you tell me, and we carry that shit TOGETHER, so it's not so heavy anymore! That's why I always talk to you when I have problems because I know you're there to help me! I know I know nothing about your life as a vigilante, and that Artemis is probably best suited for you, but I'm here, Jason! So don't you dare use that bullshit excuse on me!" You panted, tired and dried tears on your cheeks. You dropped yourself to sit on the bed, holding your face in your hands, your elbows resting on your knees.

You knew Jason had as many insecurities as you did. You knew the struggles he had as a vigilante. But you wanted him to come to you. You didn't want to push him by forcing him to tell you his problems.

Your words struck a chord in him. You wanted him. All of him. Not just the good parts but the bad parts as well. Even all his 'bullshit.' He took a step closer, testing the waters and putting his hands on your cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I never should have kept those things from you. I guess I just- I mean, I thought that you knowing about my life scared you enough. I didn't want to put more on you about my problems about my job too.." He weakly says, his head hanging low as he sits beside you on the bed. "I just thought... If I don't tell you any of this shit... you wouldn't be overwhelmed... and that you wouldn't leave."

You shook your head. "You're so selfish. You're so fucking selfish for thinking about those things about me. For thinking I'd leave you just because you're not perfect- I'm literally dating you because you're not perfect." You said quietly, your voice hoarse and raw.

Jason felt a lump grow in his throat. "I just didn't want to hurt you," he insisted, pressing his forehead against yours. "I just didn't want to lose you. And I messed everything up. But I promise you. Nothing happened between me and Artemis. You mean more to me than she ever has."

He sighed, looking into your eye. "Can you forgive me? Can we go back to the way things were?" He asked softly. "Please..." His quiet pleads were small and desperate. His eyes were soft and glossy, with hopes of you staying.

You slowly pulled away from him. "Get me my bag." You said with no emotion.

"What?" He said, feeling deflated and feeling his soul shatter.

"Just do it." You demanded.

His eyes closed as his shoulders slumped, feeling like he finally lost you, that you had really given up on him. His fingers tightened around his fists. After a moment, Jason went to get your bag across the room and brought it around to you, presenting the bag to you in his hands. He he stood in front of you, waiting for you to take the bag and leave.

"Now take the stuff out of it and put it back where they were," you muttered while sniffling.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "I-What?" His eyes widened slightly as he slowly realized what you were getting at. Your words suddenly caught up in his brain, and he realized exactly what you were asking of him. You weren't going anywhere. Jason rushed to take everything out of the bag and put them back where they belonged. He then stood in front of you, waiting for you to speak.

You shifted from your spot, laying yourself comfortably on the bed, your back facing him.

Like communicating telepathically, he laid next to you, just as you secretly wanted, ready to apologise for the millionth time until you spoke up.

You sighed and paused before speaking. "I'm not forgiving you. Not now, at least. And I doubt I'll forgive you tomorrow. Or the day after. But I will... Eventually.." You took a deep breath. "But I'm not leaving you. Because I love you. But if you pull this shit ever again, I might. And probably kill you. And from now on, you need to tell me shit you're going through. No matter how bullshit it may seem. So that you don't have to lie to me or find comfort someplace else. So that I can understand you.. And so that you wouldn't feel the need to go find some other girl who you think can carry your weight better than I can. Understand?" You said, avoiding eye contact.

"I understand," Jason finally said with a nod. He reached out his hand to touch your face. "I'm sorry. You mean the world to me. I don't want to lose you either. And you're right... I won't keep things from you anymore. You'll be the first to know now..."

You slowly nodded, finally looking in his eyes. You let yourself cuddle closer to him. As you pressed yourself against him, he wrapped his arms around you in a tight squeeze. His fingers traced your spine, and he breathed in the scent of your hair. He was so grateful that you weren't leaving... That you were still willing to give him another chance.

"I love you," he whispered, holding you close.

I need constructive criticism. did i make reader or whole thing too dramatic or... I NEED FEEDBACK

311 notes · View notes

elryuse · 16 days

Note

Yandere Winter...arrange marriage?

The Arranged Marriage

YANDERE WINTER X MALE READER

Winter glared at the ornate wedding invitation, the embossed gold lettering mocking her. "An arranged marriage?" she spat, tossing the card across the room where it landed with a soft thud on a pile of discarded designs. The rejection felt good, a defiant roar against the archaic traditions her family clung to. Winter was a supernova in the K-pop galaxy, her name synonymous with electrifying dance routines and chart-topping hits. Marrying some faceless nobody chosen by dusty family pacts was laughable. There was no time for love, not when she was on a relentless climb to the very pinnacle of K-pop stardom.

"Winter, darling," her manager, Min-seo, a woman whose steely gaze could rival Winter's own, sighed, picking up the discarded invitation. "Your family is serious. They've even chosen a candidate."

"Let me guess," Winter scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Some chaebol heir with a nose for publicity?"

Min-seo shook her head, a flicker of amusement dancing in her eyes. "Someone more… unexpected. Apparently, his family owns a chain of bakeries across the country."

"A baker?" Winter snorted. "Seriously? What's next, are you going to set me up with a street performer?"

"Stranger things have happened, my dear," Min-seo countered with a sly smile.

Days bled into weeks, a whirlwind of rehearsals, interviews, and promotional appearances. But beneath the carefully constructed facade of the K-pop machine, a gnawing unease began to fester. A dull ache in her side, dismissed as exhaustion at first, intensified into a searing pain that stole her breath away mid-performance. The stage, once her throne, became a torture chamber. The roar of the crowd turned into a distant buzz as she crumpled to the floor, the vibrant lights blurring into a disorienting kaleidoscope.

The sterile white of the hospital room offered a stark contrast to the glitter and synthesizers of her world. The doctor's words hung heavy in the air – liver failure. A life sentence of a slowly fading light, or a desperate gamble on a transplant. Hope, as fragile as a spiderweb, clung to the possibility of a donor, a life preserver in a sea of despair.

Days turned into agonizing weeks, the silence punctuated only by the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor. Winter, the idol who commanded legions of fans, felt utterly powerless. The awards, the screaming audiences, the carefully curated image – they all felt hollow in the face of her own mortality. Then, a flicker on the horizon. A donor. A match.

The surgery was a blur, waking up to a world she thought she'd lost. And then she saw him. Y/n. A young man, awkward and shy, yet his eyes held an undeniable warmth. "Y-youu s-saved me," Winter rasped, her voice weak but filled with a sincerity that surprised even her.

"I, uh…" Y/n stammered, overwhelmed by the sight of the K-pop icon in such a vulnerable state. "It was nothing. Just… a lucky match, I guess."

But the gratitude, a nascent seed, began to take root in the fertile soil of her isolation. Why him? Why not a wealthy heir or a fellow K-pop star? The questions gnawed at her, a relentless tick in the back of her mind.

Y/n, overwhelmed by the whirlwind that was Winter, disappeared after a brief visit. Her world, once filled with flashing lights and screaming fans, felt deafeningly silent. Obsession, a creeping vine, started to coil around her heart. She couldn't understand why the man who'd saved her life had vanished so completely.

Fueled by a twisted sense of entitlement, Winter used her vast network of resources to track Y/n down. He was found in a small town, flour dusting his clothes as he kneaded dough in a quaint bakery. The scent of cinnamon and warm bread hung heavy in the air, a stark contrast to the antiseptic sterility of the hospital room where she'd first laid eyes on him.

"Winter?" Y/n stammered, his voice barely rising above the clatter of the mixer. Her smile was dazzling, but her eyes held a glint of steel.

"Remember that wedding, Y/n?" Winter purred, stepping closer, the cloying sweetness in her voice sending shivers down his spine. "The one our families arranged?"

He paled. The memory of the preposterous agreement, something they'd both scoffed at in their youth, resurfaced. "Winter, I… I can't. I don't even…"

"Of course you can, Y/n," she purred, her grip tightening on his arm with a surprising strength. "You saved my life. Isn't it only fair I save you from a life without me?"

Y/n's breath hitched. The playful banter of youth, the easy dismissal of the arranged marriage, felt like a lifetime ago. Now, trapped in the gaze of this powerful, pale woman, he felt a cold dread pool in his stomach. "Winter," he stammered, "T-things have changed. I… I already have someone."

The smile on Winter's face faltered for a fraction of a second, a flicker of something akin to pain crossing her features. But then, it was gone, replaced by a chilling steeliness. "Someone?" she echoed, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Tell me, Y/n, who could possibly compete with the woman that you had saved?"

Panic clawed at Y/n's throat. He knew he shouldn't speak of Mina, his childhood sweetheart who helped run the bakery with him. But the thought of Winter, with her fame and fortune, swooping in and taking everything away, was unbearable. "Mina," he blurted out, his voice barely a squeak. "She's… she's my everything."

Winter's eyes narrowed. "Mina, huh?" A dangerous glint flickered within them. "Then perhaps it's time Mina learned the true meaning of sacrifice."

Y/n's heart lurched. He knew, with a horrifying certainty, that Winter wouldn't hesitate to hurt Mina. He had to get away, to warn Mina. But as he lunged for the bakery door, two burly men in black suits materialized behind Winter, blocking his escape.

"Let me go!" Y/n yelled, his voice choked with fear and defiance. He struggled against the men's grip, but they were simply too strong. A chilling calm settled over Winter as Y/n was dragged away, his pleas for help swallowed by the rhythmic clatter of the mixer.

Back in the opulent prison that was now her mansion, Winter sank into a plush velvet chair, a manic glint in her eyes. Mina was a nuisance, a fly to be swatted away. Winter had the resources, the power, and a twisted sense of entitlement. She would see to it that Y/n understood that his life, his love, everything belonged to her now. The debt, she would convince him, was far from settled.

Winter wasn't above getting her hands dirty. The designer gowns and manicured nails were a facade, a chilling disguise for the monster that lurked beneath. The gifts, the trips, the suffocating luxury – they were all meticulously chosen to twist the knife. They were a constant, sickening reminder of the life Y/n had lost, a life he could never reclaim unless he bent the knee to his gilded prison.

The burly guards were ever-present, shadows flanking him wherever he went. Their stoic silence spoke volumes – a chilling reminder of his captivity, a constant pressure against his will. Winter reveled in his fear, a twisted aphrodisiac that fueled her obsession. His haunted eyes, once filled with warmth, were now a canvas of terror, and Winter found a perverse beauty in that reflection.

One evening, the silence in the opulent mansion was shattered by a strangled gasp. Winter found Y/n slumped on the plush carpet, clutching a single red rose – the same kind that bloomed outside Mina's bakery. A cruel smile, devoid of warmth, stretched across her face.

"Missing your little baker, Y/n?" she purred, her voice dripping with honeyed venom. "Perhaps the croissants weren't so stale after all?"

Y/n scrambled to his feet, the rose falling from his grasp like a crimson tear. His voice, hoarse with terror, rasped, "Leave her alone, Winter. You don't understand."

Winter tilted her head, amusement dancing in her cold eyes. "Oh, I understand perfectly, darling," she countered, her voice dropping to a seductive whisper. "She's the weed threatening to choke the delicate flower of our love. But fear not, I've taken steps to ensure your garden remains… pristine."

Y/n's blood ran cold. He lunged for her, a desperate snarl twisting his features. But before he could reach her, the guards were upon him, pinning him to the floor with practiced ease. A sickeningly sweet scent filled the air, cloying and thick. Winter held a small, crystal vial aloft, the liquid within shimmering like a captured rainbow.

"A little… encouragement," she purred, her voice laced with a chilling delight. "A reminder that some debts are settled not just with sacrifice, but with obedience."

The truth slammed into Y/n with the force of a sledgehammer. The rose, the scent – it wasn't a coincidence. Winter hadn't just threatened Mina, she'd… incapacitated her. The realization shattered the last vestiges of hope clinging to his heart. Tears streamed down his face, a silent scream lost in the suffocating opulence of the room.

Winter knelt beside him, her touch as cold and sterile as the diamond bracelet adorning her wrist. "Now, Y/n," she murmured, her voice a silken snare, "tell me everything about your little baker. Every detail, every secret. Only then can we truly begin to build a future… together."

A single tear escaped Winter's eye, but it wasn't a tear of remorse. It was a predator savoring its kill, a monstrous artist gazing upon her masterpiece. The once vibrant idol was gone, replaced by a chilling puppet master. In her twisted game of love, Winter wasn't just the prize – she was the player, the architect, the god. And Y/n, a broken marionette, was forever condemned to dance to her macabre symphony of obsession.

The air hung heavy with the stench of disinfectant and a cloying sweetness that clung to Winter like a second skin. Y/n, a hollow shell of his former self, stared at her with a mixture of resignation and a horrifying flicker of something akin to acceptance.

"You'll leave Mina alone," he rasped, his voice raw with despair. "That's the only condition."

Winter tilted her head, a cruel smile playing on her lips. The vial that once held the incapacitating agent was now empty, discarded like a child's forgotten toy. "Such a selfless offer, darling," she purred, her voice dripping with a mockery of sympathy. "But where's the fun in that?"

Y/n flinched, a tremor running through his thin frame. He knew, with a chilling certainty, that Winter wouldn't hesitate. He envisioned Mina, her bright smile replaced by a mask of fear, Winter's cold hand clamped over her mouth.

"Alright," he choked out, the words scraping against his throat. "Marry me. Just… don't you dare hurt her."

Winter's smile widened, a predator savoring the kill. "Such a devoted little lamb," she cooed, her voice laced with a sickening sweetness. "But promises are meant to be broken, wouldn't you agree?"

With a flick of her wrist, a hidden screen on the wall flickered to life. It displayed a live feed – a quaint bakery, bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun. Mina, oblivious, was humming as she dusted flour onto a counter.

Y/n lurched forward, a strangled cry escaping his lips. Winter, with a casual cruelty that sent shivers down his spine, grabbed a remote from the coffee table and pressed a single button.

The screen flickered, then went dark. A sickening silence descended on the room, broken only by Y/n's ragged gasps. Winter stood, her movements predatory as she circled him like a wolf stalking its prey.

A chilling laugh erupted from her throat, echoing in the opulent emptiness of the room. It was a sound devoid of joy, a symphony of twisted satisfaction.

"Consider it a wedding gift, darling," she purred, leaning down to meet his horrified gaze. "Now, shall we seal the deal?"

Before Y/n could react, she grabbed his face, her manicured nails digging into his skin, and slammed her lips onto his. The kiss was cold, a grotesque parody of affection. It reeked of victory, of a love so twisted it had curdled into something monstrous.

Y/n tasted blood, his own metallic tang mingling with the cloying sweetness of her perfume. When she finally pulled away, a single tear traced a path down her cheek.

"A beautiful beginning, wouldn't you say?" she whispered, her voice strangely devoid of emotion.

Y/n stared at her, his eyes hollow and dead. Winter had taken everything from him – his freedom, his love, and in a final, horrifying act, his very soul.

The opulent mansion, once a symbol of wealth and success, now echoed with the deafening silence of a broken man. Winter, the idol turned monster, had claimed her prize. But in her twisted victory, she had also forged her own gilded cage, a prison built on the ashes of love and the chilling emptiness of a heart consumed by a deadly obsession.

The world gasped. Winter, the electrifying idol, the epitome of sunshine and pop perfection, was getting married. Not to some fellow K-pop star, not to a wealthy heir, but to a simple baker from a small town. The news cycle spun with speculation, but the carefully orchestrated photos showed a radiant Winter, her smile brighter than ever, leaning on the arm of a shy-looking Y/n.

The wedding was a spectacle – a meticulously crafted performance. Winter, adorned in a dress that shimmered like a captured dream, walked down a rose-petal strewn aisle. The cheers and applause were deafening, a symphony orchestrated by her team. But beneath the flawless facade, a horrifying truth festered.

Y/n, his eyes as dead as the diamonds on her hand, was a ghost of his former self. His smile was a practiced rictus, a mask that hid the chilling emptiness within. Every touch from Winter felt like a branding iron, every whispered word a cruel reminder of the life he'd lost.

During the vows, Winter's voice, sweet and saccharine, spoke of eternal love and devotion. Y/n's response, devoid of emotion, echoed in the cavernous hall. Yet, the cameras captured a perfect picture: a love story for the ages.

The reception was a whirlwind of flashing lights and champagne flutes. Winter, a consummate performer, played the part of the blissful bride. Y/n, trapped in his gilded cage, danced with a practiced ease that sent shivers down the spines of those who knew him best.

As the night wore on, and the guests began to depart, the mask slipped from Winter's face. In the seclusion of their suite, a terrifying coldness settled in her eyes.

"You played your part well, darling," she purred, her voice devoid of warmth.

Y/n, a broken marionette, said nothing. There was nothing left to say. His silence was a deafening testament to the monster he was now chained to.

Winter leaned in, her breath warm against his ear. "But remember, Y/n," she whispered, a cruel smile playing on her lips, "our dance has just begun."

The world reveled in the fairy tale wedding, oblivious to the chilling truth behind the glittering facade. Winter, the idol, had achieved her twisted victory. Y/n, trapped in a gilded cage with a monster disguised as a lover, was forever condemned to a dance macabre, his only companion the hollow echo of a love destroyed and a life stolen. The price of Winter's twisted obsession was a broken man, a chilling reminder that sometimes the most beautiful smiles hide the most terrifying darkness.

Months bled into a year, a year of gilded bars and a suffocating emptiness. Winter, however, seemed to grow restless. The sparkle in her eyes, once fueled by performance and adoration, had dimmed, replaced by a cold, steely glint.

One evening, as Y/n sat slumped in a plush armchair, a cold, clinical document landed in his lap. It was a fertility report, his name stark against the sterile white background. Winter stood before him, a predatory smile twisting her features.

"It seems you're perfectly healthy, Y/n," she purred, her voice laced with a chilling possessiveness. "Time to fulfill your duties as my husband, wouldn't you say?"

Y/n's blood ran cold. He understood now. This wasn't just about possession; it was about creating a permanent tie, a child who would forever bind him to her. The very thought of bringing a life into this twisted reality filled him with a soul-crushing despair.

But defiance was a luxury he no longer possessed. The guards, ever-present shadows, flanked him, a constant reminder of his captivity. He could fight, he could scream, but it would be a futile effort. Winter held all the cards, and Y/n was nothing but a pawn in her macabre game.

In the following weeks, the once vibrant mansion became a sterile prison. Doctors became regular visitors, their pronouncements echoing with a chilling finality. Y/n became a vessel, his body another stage for Winter's twisted performance.

The day the pregnancy test came back positive, Winter's smile could have rivaled the rising sun. Y/n, however, felt a cold dread settle in his gut. This wasn't a victory; it was a life sentence, not just for him, but for the innocent child who would be born into this gilded cage.

The world outside continued to celebrate Winter, the idol who had it all – a perfect marriage, a blossoming career, and now, a child on the way. But behind the carefully constructed facade, a monstrous truth festered. Winter, the idol, had become a puppeteer, her strings controlling not just Y/n's life,

129 notes · View notes

stvrni0lo · 10 months

Text

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝

matt sturniolo x reader (angst/fluff)

summary: after a huge misunderstanding, matt has to find a way to fix things

warnings/notes: mild argument, mentions of cheating

requested?: yes!

> > >

Ever since you and Matt started dating, you made an oath to never believe the things said online. People posted nasty comments about you and your relationship - so the deal was struck that you guys would advise each other should anything worrying come up.

This notion was quickly thrown out the window however once Matt witnessed something that made his stomach drop.

It was a picture of you and some guy. Shamelessly hugging at a café near town. He saw a huge grin plastered onto your face. He didn’t like jumping to conclusions, but when he saw another picture pop up on his timeline of you guys having a coffee together, his blood began to run cold.

Could this be?

He trusted you with everything he had, but something about this struck him as odd. You had told him you were just going to the post office - plus, he had never seen or heard of this ‘friend’ before.

Trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, his mind came to the conclusion that perhaps you had just run into an old friend and decided to catch up.

However when you came home and failed to mention your early morning rendezvous with this new friend of yours, he began to panic. He had specifically asked you what you did today in the hopes that you would ease his worries - but when you completely and blatantly lied to his face? He lost it.

“I saw you,” he blurted out.

You turned around to face him, confusion settling on your features. You set your keys behind you quickly and walked up to Matt.

“Saw me where?”

He huffed in annoyance. He hated that you were pretending to act clueless.

“With that guy,” he said. When you didn’t budge he kept going. “You were at a café. You’re lying to me - you said you went to the post office!”

He didn’t like accusing you of anything, but what was he supposed to think?

To be fair, it was true that you had been at the post office that day - but it was also true that you had been at that café. What Matt didn’t know was that what he saw was not an example of you being unfaithful, and when you tried to explain this, he wasn’t having any of it.

“No - you lied to me. And for what? To go see some guy? I trusted you!”

You could see the hurt on his face as he finished his sentence, his breathing picking up.

“He’s not just some guy!” you yelled back.

Matt was taken aback, involuntarily stepping backwards from you. He felt betrayed, and even more - angry. How could you be defending this man when he was trying to confront you for what you did?

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you trailed off, sighing.

You took a few steps towards Matt, but he backed away again, tears brimming at his eyes.

“He’s my brother.”

Matt scoffed, rolling his eyes. The audacity of you to come up with this bullshit shocked him completely.

“I’m not lying - look,” you said as you pulled out your phone and showed him some old pictures.

Sure enough, there was the café guy with you. Except you were both younger. Your mother could be seen behind you both, her arms wrapped around your shoulders.

The memory made your eyes sting, and before you could stop yourself you let out a huge sob, dropping your phone into Matt’s hands.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t ready yet - I haven’t seen him in years… I- I wanted to meet him first and-“ you said as you tried to keep the trembling in your voice to a minimum. “I’m not even sure if he’s gonna stick around this time.”

Matt furrowed his brows, looking intently at the images on your phone. Now that he noticed it, you guys did look alike - and now he felt horrible for assuming the worst of you.

Taking your phone back from him, you placed it in your pocket.

“I’ll explain everything another time. I think I just want to be alone right now,” you mumbled, your head throbbing from all the sudden crying. Sniffling and wiping away your tears, you grabbed your car keys off the table.

Before Matt could come to his senses and stop you, you were already out the door, reversing out of his driveway.

- - -

You made quick work getting home. Attempting to keep your tears at bay could only last so long, so you drove as fast as possible. Rain pattered against your windscreen and the squeaking of the wipers was all you could focus on to help calm your breathing down.

Seeing your brother for the first time in years made you extremely emotional. You were happy, of course - but the hurt that he caused you and your family still lingered whenever you saw his face. What hurt even more was that Matt thought you would ever betray his trust.

You didn’t blame him. The evidence seemed pretty convincing. Yet you wished you didn’t have to reveal this secret to him so soon. You wished you had more time to prepare - your brother had always been a sensitive topic to you. It was just easier to not mention him around Matt and his brothers. That would cause too many buried emotions to come up, and you really never felt like explaining your family drama.

How well that worked out, you thought to yourself.

What you didn’t know was that Matt had ran out of the house almost immediately. Chris and Nick had been out somewhere with the minivan, so he opted to run after you since your house wasn’t too far.

He tried to think of what he would say once he saw you. Nothing seemed good enough. How could he even begin to convey how sorry he was?

He was at your door in less than 10 minutes.

Seeing your car parked out front, he jogged up to your door, knocking desperately.

“Matt?” you said as you opened the door.

There he was on your front doorstep, soaking wet and shivering in the cold. His hair was dripping water onto the ground, and his tears were masked by the raindrops trickling down his cheeks.

“What are you doing?”

Grabbing his arm you pulled him inside, immediately grabbing a towel and wrapping him up.

You sat him down on your couch and turned on the heater, hoping to prevent him from catching a cold. Once Matt’s teeth stopped chattering, he began to speak.

“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am,” he whispered, his puppy-dog eyes welling up with tears once again.

“Matt-“ you began.

“Let me finish. I should have never accused you of cheating - I know you had your reasons for hiding this from me. I just want you to know that you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I’ll be here to listen whenever you’re ready, no rush.”

You pulled his head to your chest, hugging him tightly. Matt’s tears soaked your t-shirt but you didn’t care. All you were worried about now was him and how cold he probably was.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to lie to you,” you said as you toyed with the wet strands of hair on his head.

“And I hope you know I would never cheat on you. I’m sorry that you thought that.”

He raised his head, smiling at you.

“I know,” he said.

Grabbing your hands in his, he peppered kisses all over your fingers and palms, giving love to each individual finger and inch of skin.

“Last time I believe pictures from the internet,” he joked as he intertwined your hands, laying his head back on your shoulder.

“I thought that’s always been the deal, goofball.”

After a few moments of silence you pulled Matt off the couch, bringing him to your bedroom where you dried his hair off with your dryer.

His hands rested on your hips, playing with the hem of your shirt as he sat on your bed. You stood above him, making sure to get every strand of hair water-free for him.

“I love you,” he said as you unplugged the hairdryer from the wall, his eyes trailing across your features adoringly.

Resting it on the floor, your feet padded up towards him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his forehead which was nice and dry now.

“I love you too, baby.”

He pulled you on top of him, falling backwards onto the bed as he gripped your waist tightly. With your legs straddling him and Matt’s hold unwavering, you both fell asleep, happy as ever.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x reader

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harrysmimi · 1 year

Text

Baby Talk

Synopsis: Harry wants to try for a baby but is hesitant to tell his girlfriend

CW: Smut and a shit load of fluff.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

Ever since Harry had come back home with YN.

The first thing they did was go to Brielle's baby shower her sister-in-law hosted for her.

YN was very excited to see her friend pregnant, she even called dibs for baby sitting before Alec, which got him pissed for the moment there.

Now it was three weeks later, Harry wasn't working but making a music video which would be done by the next day. He had a magazine interested yesterday and the Photoshoot is arranged on the weekend. That meant he was free and home today.

He scrolled through Instagram, when YN's post popped up on his feed. Yes, he followed her private account. It was a little photo dump from her friend's baby shower. The first picture was of her and Brielle recreating the Hadid Sisters pictures from a long time ago. And the next was YN's hand on her friend's bump all surprised, he reckoned it was that moment when YN felt babies kicking inside for the first time it has her gasping and her friend laughing. And next two were of him and her together and rest of it were random little videos and to end it all, she had a funny pictures of Brielle using her bump as a table for her plate of cake taking a huge bite. Just ten likes on her post from ten people out of fifteen who follow her.

She had removed very many people from her follower list (especially her cousins) and switched her account to private recently since Harry decided he wanted to follow her, and turned off her DMs. Apparently the hate was increasing since he talked the second time about her recently. It was going to be inevitable, but she thought it was going to be best option there.

He liked it and commented a little red heart, and pouty emoji.

Now seeing that post had his heart racing. Especially remembering how good she was with Brielle's nieces and nephews that day, everyone loved her for some reason. She was surrounded by little kids the whole time there. Even her own niece and nephew loves her, no wonder why! He loves her too!

Especially Brielle's three month old nephew. Apparently the infant was way too infatuated by YN that he would start to cry every time she tried to give him to his dad.

"Hey, come on Mateo." Brielle's brother urged his son back to him but the little baby started whining. It is indeed very difficult to figure what is going on in an infant's mind. Mateo was meeting for the first time and he already didn't wanted to leave her.

"It's okay, I don't mind hanging out with him." YN assured the red head.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm, I'll go find you or your girlfriend if he starts to get fussy." She nodded. That's when Harry saw her approaching him with the baby as he went to get a drink of water. "Harry look."

"Oh who is that?" He cooed, watching the little lad staring up at his girlfriend like she's made of twinkling stars with his big blue eyes. He doesn't blame the little lad but he's just little baby. "Hello, darling!"

"This is Mateo, Brielle's nephew." YN introduced the little human to him, "and Mateo this is Harry, my boyfriend." The little boy just squirmed shyly in her arms making the pair laugh. "He's so cute!"

"He is," Harry agreed, "how old is he?"

"Three months." She gasped, distracted watching the little boy smiling at her. "Sorry, I just..." She looked up at him sheepishly.

"It's alright, love." Harry smiled, dimples denting deep in his cheeks. "I don't blame you, he is very adorable."

For the next three hours the couple hung out with little Mateo until he fell asleep and YN had to give him back to his parents. The little sad pout on her face was the most adorable thing she's seen. She really wanted to hang out with that tiny human more!

That nailed the image in his head for good.

Now that he's had more free time on his hand, he's got to thinking. He does want all of that for himself too. Especially now when he's got someone who he loves to much and she feels the same way.

He had watched his friends meet the love of their life, fall in love, get married and have family of their own. He's experienced that first hand with Sarah and Mitch. Is it too bad he wants that for himself too?

Hell, they haven't had the baby talk yet and here he is already picturing everything.

A little baby to love on in a way which seemed much more magical to even think about. No doubt, his YN would be the best parent to their kiddos. If they have any!

Two years is enough time right? To give a thought about wanting a family with someone.

Harry has never found talking about anything this difficult. For the first time they had indulged into something sexual, he had her sat down to ask what she wanted from it, what she thinks would be comfortable for her and what not as it was her first time. They even talked more about the moving in together part, he wanted to be sure that it's something she wanted too and she did now they're living together.

He doesn't know if that's something she really wants, his assumptions and him thinking she's going to be the most amazing mother to his kiddos won't be relevant if she doesn't want any kids. Maybe she doesn't want to get pregnant. Maybe she doesn't want to have kids at all.

He's not getting any younger. Especially since her brother have pointed out that he's quite older than his baby sister though he doesn't see a problem with that, it made him insecure. Even if it was just tiny bit. It has never been an issue for either of them.

He's just beating himself up for no reason, he knew that. All it is going to take is talking to her about it. If he tells her about his tiny insecurity she's going to give him a good talk about how it was definitely fine with her, how she shouldn't be insecure around her because she loves him and would never judge him or make him feel bad about himself in all her consciousness. The click of the door opening caught his attention, making his heart beating like he just ran a marathon.

"Hazza, I'm home." YN's little mumble traveled through their small living room with a sound of door clicking close she appeared in his sight.

"Hello darling." He smiled, already rushing to greet her. She had a little bag of groceries with her. "How was your day at work?"

"It was good, surprisingly we didn't had any Karens coming in today." She beamed putting away bottle of Orange Juice in the fridge.

She seemed in a very good mood today. Should he talk to her?

"Do you want to start on with dinner?" YN suggested, "I need to go take a shower, spilt coffee all over my pants today."

"I thinking we should go on a date." He suggested, making up a plan on the spot. They both haven't been on a proper date in a while now. Her eyes lit up in instant on the mention of a date night.

"Yeah, we should." She agreed.

Harry took her to the same restaurant they went on their first date, it was the first time since then.

He stalled the whole night to talk about it. Wanting to take advantage of her being in a good mood was thrown out the window as soon as both of them came back home. He'd put on the movie both of them wanted to watch for ages. Not giving into her little touch of affection and kisses. It's him who takes things further unless she's making it very obvious.

In the morning, YN slept past her alarm. She was rushing to leave for work, he had to go get last shots of his music video done too. Everything happened so quickly that he didn't even realise how fast the time went on and she was kissing him bye for a few hours like every day before heading out.

It took him extra long to get shots for his music video done today. He was stuck thinking about how he should have just told her instead of stalling and basically turning her down for having sex without saying a word. That wouldn't have been the first time he's told her he's not in the mood, she's nothing but understanding. But he saw her face today.

She woke up before him, didn't stay in bed for their morning cuddles. She hardly talked to him. Yeah, she was in hurry to get to work but still he felt so guilty.

But to his surprise, he was greeted by a squealing YN at home. "Harry, Harry, Harry, I have to tell you something!" She grabbed his hands and drag him to the living room with her. He sat down to have her basically sat on his lap giggling at her excitement for he doesn't know what.

"What's got you so excited?"

"So you probably don't know her, but my co-worker Emily's cat had an unexpected litter like a little over two months ago." She started, "you think we can get one kitten from her, please?"

"You want to get a kitten?" He was surprised.

"Yes! Half of them have already got their new homes. I wanted to talk to about it but I forgot. Please!" She hopped on her spot like a toddler asking for candy.

"Of course we can get one, baby, you don't have to say please." He chuckled. Honestly he wouldn't mind adding a pet to the mix. He's been wanting to try to have a literal human kid!

"I love you so much!" She attacked him with a bear hug with her arms wrapped around his neck. With an umph Harry almost fell back but held onto her before she could fall down on the floor.

"I love you more!" He pressed a kiss on her cheek. "When can we go bring one home?"

"She said she wants to keep the kitten with their mum for another week just so they're litter trained and all." YN shared, "her husband's a vet so he suggested the kittens get their vaccinations before they go to their new homes."

"Mhmm, that gives us enough time to prepare for one, doesn't it?" He suggested.

"Yes!" She nods her head jerkingly, "you sure you want a cat living with us?"

"Of course baby, we'll have to keep an eye on Mr. McFish though. Cats and Fishes don't quite get along, do they?" He's grown very attached to her pet fish there. He cleans up the aquarium, feeds the fish and all that stuff himself. He just doesn't let her do that when he's home.

"He'll be fine, his aquarium has got a secure lid and all." She assured him.

"Okay." He agreed.

"She sent me pictures of the kittens who haven't been adopted yet." YN picked up her phone from the coffee table and opened up her recent chat with her co-worker. There was a message from YN's side saying she needs to talk to her boyfriend first.

That made it everything all the more legit to him. He's never been in a serious relationship like this before. She cares enough to ask for his opinion. Even show him pictures of kittens. He shared with kitten's personality he liked through the little videos. No doubt of the kittens were adorable, he liked the one with the more energy, it was more rowdy bullying it's other siblings.

"I was thinking..." He trailed off when YN finally put her phone away being done with showing him all the pictures.

"Hmm?" She sounded giving him all his attention.

"I, I don't know how to, ehm, say this." He stuttered, running a nervous knuckle under his nose.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concerned all of a sudden.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I'm just nervous to say this!" He sighed.

"Harry, did you do something? What did you do?" She didn't know why she was asking this but it felt like he did something and how he wants to confess to her. A crease between her eyebrows grew tighter.

"No, no, baby I didn't do anything." He rushed, "I just want to ask if you like ehm, want to, uhhh... start trying to have a baby?"

"I, uh, what?" She was so surprised by his question she didn't know how to even process it.

"I know we never actually talked about it. Do you want to have kids? With me?" He asked but quickly realised, "I shouldn't say it this way. I, YN, I really, really, really love you if it's not obvious until now you know. And I've never had what I have with you by my side, I mean I've never lived with anything, never had a pet with anyone before, never had anyone care for me in the way you do before. I want more of it. Just a little bundle of our love to love upon for the rest of my days. I've been thinking about it since we were in New York, and especially since last couple of weeks. I don't know how to approach this conversation 'cause it can be bit sensitive for some. Don't know if that's what you want, I won't even ask you again if you tell me."

His heart was hammering in his ears as he felt his cheeks heat up.

"Harry, I..." She trailed off to add to his fear. "I do want to have kids. Especially if it's with you. I understand what you're saying, I'm not gonna say no to that. God, you don't know how much I want my own little ones! But not when still not married."

"What's wrong that? We already have sex." He shrugged.

"I just don't want to deal with mu family Harry, I honestly don't care when we start a family, you know?" She asked, her voice as soft as it can get, "you already know how my parents are after me because they know we live together. It's already hard enough for me to put up with them. If they got to know we're having a child together, I don't even want to think what my parents will do after. You know it's still not acceptable where I come from to have kids before marriage, people talk complete shit which I know I won't be able to take. But we can, after we're married."

"I understand." He nodded, because he really did. Her word to have a baby with him was enough to put him at ease and hold him off until they're actually married. Which he thinks is not too far enough in the future.

"And having a baby is a lot of work. We'll need to get a place with an extra bedroom for the little one, unless you don't mind having a little cot in our room here." She shared.

"They will be sleeping in our room untill they're big enough, baby, but I don't mind if it happens in this home. But we can look for a house close by here if you want?" He suggested.

"Mhmm we can do that." She agreed. They would have to discuss more on financials, because YN had just turned in her last installment of ger house loan (collaborating with Harry came in a huge help for her with that) and had very little in her savings to chip in. Even though Harry would be able to get a house all by himself, she'd want to be a part of the financial process too. "How many do you want."

"Let's think about one first." He chuckled sheepishly.

"Mhmm." She teased him, "I was thinking maybe I wanna have two or four."

"You want an even number of kids?"

"I just don't want a middle child." She chuckled. Even if they did ended up having an odd number of kids she'd treat her middle child the best she could like the others.

"Awh!" He cooed sadly pulling her in an embrace, he pressed a kiss sloppy on her cheek with a loud smooching sound.

"Are you okay, though?"

"Mhmm, I am." He sounded, "why would you ask that?"

"You, ehm, last night, you basically turned down to have sex." She stuttered, "that was very unusual, especially coming from you."

He cracked a smile picking up on the humour in her last sentence, that's true though. "Was just thinking about all this, that's all."

"I thought something happened, are you sure you're okay?" She pressed.

"Yes baby, I am sure. When have I ever hid being sad or low from you, hmm?" He scooted closer to her, nudging his nose against her, "especially when I know I'll be getting loads of cuddles and kisses from you."

She chuckled, "I can give you kisses and cuddles whenever, Haz, you know that."

"Yeah?" He rubbed his nose against hers in feathery touches, "would you give me kisses and cuddles now?"

"Mhmm." She agreed, her eyes shuttered closed as she leaned into close contact with him.

"Come close to me then, pretty." He urged her to straddle his thighs, she did, her mouth already buttoned onto his taking him by surprise. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose as he pulled her closer. He couldn't help the groan of a whine which left his mouth when she pulled away, feeling her fingers slip through his hair on the back of his head in gentle, soothing strokes of her finger tips. He leaned into her touch.

"What do you think? You think we'll have a girl a boy first?" She asked.

"Hmm," he signed ad his hands rested upon her hips, "I mind with either. We'll love them for who they are!"

"Awh!" She cooed. "But I think you'll be a better suit for a girl dad."

"How so, baby?"

"She'll know that how she is to be treated, our daughter I mean which is nothing but like a royalty. I know you'll treat her like a queen." She shared, "I can already imagine that."

It warmed his heart, "that puts on a lot of pressure on me."

"No, it's okay." She rushed, "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry. You're going to be an amazing dad to our babies, Haz!"

"I'm just teasing baby, I know we're gonna make mistakes on our way which is okay." He chuckled at her reaction, "but what if we have a boy?"

"Then you're gonna be the best influence, he's gonna grow up to be - hopefully - comfortable in himself and be the most respectful person just like our daughter would grow up to be." She smiled, pressed another sweet kiss on his mouth which he so gladly returned to her. "But I want you to tell me whenever you're not in mood okay? I feel so bad, I was being all touchy-touchy. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable."

"No, you didn't my love, I love it when you touch me. In any way." He assured her, "you know I'll tell you when I'm not in mood. But now I certainly am in the mood." With a cheeky smirk he buttoned his mouth on hers, feeling her smile he tightly wrapped his arms around her.

"Well, good thing," she mumbled, "because I am too."

"Yeah?" He taunted, "always so needy for me, aren't you?" He stood up all of a sudden to her surprise. His hands supporting bum with her legs wrapped around his hips he made his way to their bedroom. "Need to wash my hands first. Baby, please!" Just when he'd put her down on their bed he was pulled down with her a huff.

"Oh, okay." She realised releasing her arms from around his neck.

"Be right back," with a peck on her forehead he rushed to the bathroom, he's touched his car door, then the lift button, fiddled with his keys and touched the main door before she was dragging him to the sofa talking about getting a new kitten, he also washed his dick just to be safe. Got a towel to splay on their sheets, he knows that they'd be tok tired to change the sheets later even jf they're yet to have their dinner. Took him all long three minutes to return, already unbuttoning his the white dress shirt he had on. "Hi."

"Hi." She chuckled watching him knee his way towards her on their shared bed, pushing away their blanket as he layed the towel down. He gave her another quick kiss before he was shrugging off the shirt off his shoulders but it got caught in his necklace. "You're going to break it." She reached for his necklace and carefully freed the button stuck in the chain making him giggle as he threw the garment on the floor, he was initially aiming for the laundry basket.

"Only fair if you take your shirt off."

"No!" She whined in her pretend disagreement.

"Yes!" He mocked her as his hands reached for the hem of her turtle neck at her hips, daring to dig his fingers just enough to make squirm before he was pushing the fabric up. She'd let him pull it over her shirt revealing the black lacy bra she was yet to take off, but the neckline got caught in her earring. "Oh, don't move!" He carefully slipped off the piece of jewelry from her earlobe as it was just a hook. "You alright?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"These are cute!" He chuckled seeing the clay charms of cats hung on the hook, he placed the pair on the side table once she handed him other. Her friend got those for her saying the piece of jewelry reminded her of her. He hovered over her as he lied her down carefully, managing to fit perfectly in between her thighs as his lips brushing in feathery touches just under her earlobe, like a pain relief kiss.

YN's hands dipped inbetween both their bodies reaching his core, her hand was met with his hard on. Just a squeeze on his bulge had him grunting against her neck as his teeth sunk into her skin.

God, she'll have to wear turtle necks for the rest of the week now!

Harey definitely loved leaving his marks on her, in the places only he can see. On the swells of her breasts and in between, on her hips, on soft skin of her inner thighs closer to her glistening cunt.

"Oh fuck!" He moaned heavily breathing, "you're gonna make me cum just like that."

"Can I, please?" She asked, stuttering shyly, "I want to suck you?"

"Yeah? Go on baby love, you know I'm all yours." He lifted his head up from her neck to look at before he pressed a soft lingering kiss on the full of her mouth.

He had moved every pillow to be piled up on the headrest of their bed as he's planning to get her in the same position in sometime. He got his pants and boxers off, his prick proud and hard up right.

"I love you!" She mumbled giving him another kiss on the cheek, as she sat on her heels next to him. Trailing her hand from his chest, down his tummy following the happy trail below his belly button.

"I love you mo-" he gasped at the touch of her hand on his cock, feeling sensitive for unknown reason today. He watched her moments as he wrapped her small hand around his shaft, on the second stroke and a swipe of her thumb over the tip had him throwing his head back. Breathing heavy.

She decided to cut to chase when he felt her warm mouth wrapped around his tip, her tongue pressed flat getting the taste of the pre cum. He swore he could be cumming any moment when he felt soft vibrations of her humming around his cock taking him further down, using her hand to cover what she couldn't take.

"Gahh! Fuck!" He moaned, his voice went extra deep mid orgasm which she seemed to love so much, he took her free hand in his lacing his fingers through hers in a gentle hold. She pulled away with a pop sound of her sucking hard on his cock to catch for breathing, reaching to cup his balls, playing with them just how she's figured he likes it. She took him back in his mouth bobbing up and low on gis length. "Fuck, just like that baby. You're so - ugh! - so good to me!" That earned another moan from her around his cock.

"Fuck I'm so close baby, just like that make me cum. Please!" His breathing got heavier which had his heart thumping against his chest, he whined at the lost of contact when she pulled away.

"Cum for me, Haz." She requested. Just as she had her mouth back on him, his release warmed her up. Taking all she could as the rest of his cum dripped down her hand with each bob of her head, making his cock go softer. She felt his legs shake on her side, a hand on the back of her head.

"C'mere." He breathed, without any hesitation he pulled her to smear his lips onto her spit-cum slick ones, slipping his tongue in her mouth.

"You good?" She asked.

"Yeah, just need a moment, you made me cum so hard." He nudged his nose next to hers, "I want you to sit on my lap, get on." YN listened to him, raising up on her knees to get closer to him. "Pants and knickers off, sweet girl." His demand caught her off guard.

First of, she was wearing her comfy panties when she changed after she got home, they had little pandas printed on them. She wasn't planning on letting him see those as he's teased her once about the same pair before, it was going to be am embarrassing in such a sexy moment. And second off, she haven't shaved since her period stopped this month. Though he's made it pretty clear he doesn't care, but she does. Somewhat.

"What's wrong?" He asked, finally being able to breath at a steady pace. "What? Are you wearing your pink panda panties?" He smirked.

"Stop, they're comfy!" She scoffed moving on her spot, feeling the slickness of her own folds with each move.

"Come on, I don't mind. It's my turn now." He urged her. Hesitating she followed his demand, shimmying her swears and panties off, "come to me!" He made grabby hands towards her making her.

"You sure you want to go again?" She enquired, he still looks blissed out, his pupils still blown out.

"Mhmm, plus I have other means to have you screaming my name." He smirked, resting his hand on sides her bare thighs moving his hands up to hest on her hips.

"Daddy chill!" She rolled her eyes.

He knew what she was doing there, bringing up his one kink they hardly indulged in now.

"Now, now angel, don't be a brat." His made a semi-hard contact with her bum causing her to jolt in surprise.

"What was that for?" She gasped.

"You heard me." He raised a challenging brow at her, causing her to laugh throwing her head back. He'd figured she can't be serious like this which he found adorable. "Don't be a brat if you want Daddy to make you feel good."

"Oh then I'm definitely gonna be one." She nodded her head, biting onto her lips to hold back another laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She couldn't, letting her head drop on his shoulder for a moment she giggled. "I'll be serious now." Blinking her eyes twice she put on a serious which now had him giggling at.

Usually he's the one incharge in bed, as cliche as it sounds that's how both of them work. But none of them felt the need to verbalise the power dinamic in a kinky way, maybe it was a thing at the very start but for some reason they both stopped it. And now joke about it here and there. But it had his cock almost jumping up again when she called him that.

The little joking around made it all the more real for her, that sex or intimacy isn't always picture perfect as it is usually portrayed in the media. It was so much more enjoyable that way, seeing him actually make an effort to wash his hands so she wouldn't catch any unwanted infections or shit that happens to people with uteruses, or the way he makes her to feels so comfortable in her own skin even though she doesn't fit into the conventional mold made the society. That was the most sexiest thing she had experience!

"Your tits look amazing in this bra." He commented, blatantly staring at the swells of her breasts right in front of his face, as he raised his hands along her sides to rest on the curve of her waist before one slipped up further on her back in no time garment was unhooked. He's way too slick with his movements in moments like this. He further slipped down the elastic straps from her shoulders, leaving her now in the same state as him.

"Way better!" Tugging down the flimsy garment made of lace off her hands, Harry tossed it accross the bed to join rest of their clothes. Dipping his head forward, he pressed his lips onto her neck leaving the soft trail of kisses down her sweet spot, making his way down to her collar bone. Working to deepen the mark he left on her a couple pf days before. One of his hand squeezing onto her breast rolling the hardened nipple in between his thumb and forefinger, whilst reaching down to wrap his lips around the other. She whimpered under his touch, feeling the wetness just grow further in between her legs.

Harry could only imagine how full her breasts would be once they're finally have a baby, excited see and go through all the changes by her side. That had him dipping his hand in, finger tips brushing up her wet folds. He smirked feeling her gasping, leaning back into the pillows to look atthe way he had her whimpering under him.

He was already getting at her sight. "Hmm, so wet." He spared a glance at his fingers working onto her sensitive cunt, "for me baby?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, hands halting onto either on his shoulders to keep herself steady. All her teasing him went out the window just at the touch of his finger tips on her sensitive clit.

"Words, sweet baby, I need words." He teased as he rubbed slow circles on her clit.

"God, it's for you, Harry!" She bleated.

"It's what now, darling?" He urged her to say what he wanted to hear, halting his move.

"Ah! Please don't stop," he was going to annoy her with this now as he shot her a cocky look, "please daddy!"

"That's my girl." A dimple dented his cheek as his smirk grew wider.

"Please I want you inside Harry," she shot him a puppy face, "I've been holding off since yesterday."

"Yeah? That's what took you fifteen minutes extra in shower this morning, baby love?" He was enjoying it now, teasing her.

"I told you was washing my hair!" She whined, that was the truth. It's not as good as it is with him, she'd rather wait for him when he's close to her than do it herself.

"Then what are you calling me tonight?" He reminded her.

"Daddy," she nods her head jerkily, "daddy, please!"

He chuckled, "I'm just teasing baby, you can have me. You ready now?"

"Mhmm, mhmm!" She agreed. Wrapping his fingers around his cock, it took him just few strokes to get himself fully hard again if he wasn't already. Nudging his tip in her fold he urged her to take control.

"Come on, baby, you wanna ride Daddy's cock?" He suggested.

"Mhm-" before she could say anything his tip was pushing past her slit. She still can't get used to him, especially when they go a day or two without making love some times. She slowly sunk on his cock, feeling him fill her up to brim. Her head fell to the crook of his neck.

"Take your time to adjust baby," he sighed feeling her tightly wrapped around him.

"Need a moment." She shared.

"Yeah, why don't gimme a kiss baby?" He suggested, already cupping her jaw with one of his hand to bring her down, buttoning his mouth on hers pushed his tongue past her lips. He hummed at the contact trying to pull her more closer, as if he wasn't inside her already. The sound of their lips moving together came to halt when YN pulled away just to speak.

"I, I, can move now." She shared, feeling streched enough around his prick.

"Go on baby," he urged her. YN slowly started rutting her hips against his, with a pair of his hands on either sides of her helping everything to keep her steady. He never held back his moans, voice two times lower and deeper as he pressed his forehead onto her chest.

This was his favourite thing to do, making love with her.

Feeling her clench around his cock, or his fingers, especially when she's enjoying it. He felt so proud lf every time they made love, seeing her grow more and more confident and comfortable in herself. He pressed a kiss on her chest where her heart is.

"Fuck!" He heard her mumble quietly.

"You enjoying it baby?" He asked, moving behind , "you feel so— fuck!— so good wrapped around my cock, so warm and tight. So good for me."

"Fuck. Ye-yes!" She nods her head jerkily. The coil in her stomach tightened to the point it was close to coming undone any moment. "I'm so close, daddy!" It the slipped.

"Wait for me baby," he warned her, making his grip firm on her hips to quicken her movement, "you want me to cum inside you?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Yeah? Gonna fill you up so good, baby!" He announced, his own high was reaching up making his brain go all mushy. "Cum for me, will you baby? Cum around my cock."

"I, I am. I am." She nodded. Finding right words in the moment was something she couldn't do. Her rutting against him because sloppier and sloppier making her shudder as she came clenching around him. Have him fill her up with his cum. Just on the last thrust she sunk back on his cock before feeling him soften up again. It hit her hard, her orgasm there unexpectedly.

Their bedroom filled with their heavy breathing and sighs of pleasure. YN snuggled into Harry with him still inside her. Her taking on birth control was the best decision she'd made, and this was one of many reasons why on the list. The feeling she couldn't comprehend in words.

Especially now that he'd finally help nail another reason for wanting him cum inside her every time with his baby talk. Was it weird that she was thinking how great of a father he would be to her kids in a moment like this? She could careless. Because that's what she would want her kids to have.

"You good, my love?" Harry asked. His voice sounded extra honey sweet to her right in that moment.

"Mhmm." She sounded, "it was amazing."

"It was, honey love." He breathed out as he was too tired in the moment to even laugh with having two orgasms back to back. Somehow, he reached for the blanket to wrap around her so she won't get cold. He hiked up his legs at his knees so she is cradled against him.

"This okay?" She enquired for his consent about what he knew exactly.

"More than okay, darling." He assured her. Who was he to lie he didn't enjoyed a bit of cock warming here and there? "You know, I love you so much!"

She giggled tiredly, "I love you so much, too, Haz!"

They sat there cuddled up with their blanket wrapped around them. Until YN realised she was hungry and that she hasn't eaten anything since breakfast.

"Harry?"

"Yes, love?"

"I am hungry." She shared, just to make it more clear her tummy rumbled.

"Oh no, baby." He gasped softly, "let's get you fed now, yeah?" He rubbed her back twice before reluctantly pulling away. He slowly slipped out of her, completely aware how sensitive she gets every time. "I'm sorry, I brought you in here before we had our dinner." He shared.

Harry takes it very seriously if she's had her meals or not, especially since he picked on her not so well relationship with food. She's recently started conversing when she's hungry and she wants to eat.

"I'm too tired to cook anything."

"We'll order take out." He urged her off their bed and to the bathroom so he can help her clean up. He even rushed to get a change of clothes. He had already put on a pair of sweats.

"I'll do this," she said, "please order something. I didn't had my lunch today." Taking the another pair of panda printed panties he got for her, she slipped them on and his sweatshirt next.

"YN!" He let a scolding whine, "did you not take your afternoon medications then?" Pulling out her hair from the neck hole of her (his) sweatshirt she shot him a look of her puppy eyes. "No, don't look at me like that. You know you shouldn't have those medicines without having some food in your system, love. Then you get all dizzy and nauseous, that's not good for you."

"I didn't get the time to today." She explained, tailing behind him as he made his way in the kitchen, "we were short on staff today. So I just took my medicines in hurry thinking I'll get time to eat after."

"Don't do that next time, okay?" He warned her, "you were short staffed doesn't mean you can't take fifteen minutes to yourself to eat. If that happens again I'm gonna have to have a chat with the owner myself."

"No, it won't happen again. I promise." She rushed. He was putting some frozen fries in the air fryer, she noticed. He disapproved thay she actually ate those, but at least she'll have something in her stomach till their take out is delivered to them. It was quick to make.

Who's gonna stop her from eating french fries? That too the frozen ones, no one! That's why he brought over his air fryer from his house when he moved his stuff to their flat.

"You're making me fries." She pointed out, wiggling her brows at him with a teasing tone.

"Stop, you haven't eaten anything in last thirteen hours." He rolled his eyes. She stood there next to him watching him make her a snack, there wasn't a point in teasing him more there.

He looked so pretty, standing there shirtless. Sometimes she forgets how much taller he is that her that she really have to lift her head up to look at her gorgeous features. Yeah, he's that all over her and obsessed that he's constantly clinging onto her for her realise. She's got all to herself there. Not even in dreams had she imagined to have a partner as loving amd caring as him. A soft place to fall back to when it becomes inevitable to not feel low.

Now he's stood there in all his pretty glory making her something to eat as she hasn't had anything since morning, scolding her a little for it. It warmed her heart.

Pressing a soft kiss by his ship tattoo, she went onto sit on the counter whilst he's done putting her snack together. After he was done, Harry rushed to get his phone opening up the food delivery app he stood next to her. He pulled up the cuisine page.

"What would you like to eat, my lady?" He enquired, showing the options.

"Hmm, let's see." She scrolled through down to the option. And of course she picked up Indian food.

"I'm feeling butter chicken." He shared.

"Look at you!" She cooed booping his nose, "I'm a good influence, aren't I!" Flipping her hair back proudly she picked up her favourite restaurant in town, smiling ear to ear. He swore he saw her eyes sparkle.

She hung the moon and the sun. For him, she did.

"That's all you want?" He noticed she'd already added his favourites in the cart.

"Mhmm."

"Okay." He took his phone but added her favourite desserts too before he placed the order paying with Apple pay.

"Haz?"

"Hmm?" He placed his phone down on the counter beside her, giving her his undivided attention. His girl was sat there with her hands on either side of her thighs clutching onto the lip of the counter, swinging her legs.

"Let's get married."

"You want to?"

"Of course I want to." She nods, "so we can finally try to have a baby."

"I don't want you to feel pressured by this baby." He started, "it is going to be a big commitment. I know we live together, but it's going to be completely different to be married in living together. I can wait, we can wait till you're ready."

"I am not feeling pressured." YN assured him, "now that you've said it, that's something I really want. I've always wanted that, you know to have my own little family... Getting married has always been important to me, so I cam assured that I'm not feeling pressured. I know it is going to different. But ready for it."

"Yeah, you are?" Harry beamed at her, shifting to stand in between her thighs. He placed her hands on his shoulders, his lips were smeared over hers. First time he kissed her after their love making session.

"Mhmm." She sounded, "I have this image of you with our baby now. A little daughter. I can't seem to shake that off."

He chuckled, "I bet you'd team up with her against me."

"No, you'd be the one teaming up against me with her." She countered, arguing about who'd they're unborn (still unconceived) child would team up with.

"Touché." He giggled cheekily, earning a gasp and smack on his shoulders from her.

"So..." She raised her brows

"So?"

"When are you asking me to marry you?" She asked.

"I'm not telling you!"

"Why not?"

"It won't be a surprise." He shared, "even though I want to marry you as soon as I can. Still want to make it special baby, for us. But soon, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He pressed another kiss on her mouth, before the air fryer started beeping.

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