#every poem has a backstory right? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brain-in-a-skin-suit · 9 months

Text

Okay so disclaimer i haven't seen Dead Apple in a while, and I also didn't go into writing this with a conclusion in mind, so its a bit of a mess.but! i did reach a conclusion! Sorry for any inaccuracies, I was working from memory for a lot of this. please correct me if im wrong about something! Also pretty please add any connected theories if you have any

Warning: long post

I remember watching Dead Apple and being really thrown off by the fact that Fyodor's ability seemed to be chill with him. Every character aside from him who had an ability manifestation was fighting their ability. This makes me think that in his natural state (not affected by Shibusawa's ability), Fyodor is already fighting his own ability, so when Shibusawa was doing his thing, the relationship flipped and they got along.

In chapter 108 of the manga, fyodor suddenly says he's controlled by "a demon" and follows it up with this:

then he says this:

which is really key. It implies everything i suspected from Dead Apple-- Fyodor's ability is his enemy.

Of course, right after this scene, he stabs Sigma and basically says "teehee I was lying the whole time"

But I don't know if I truly believe he was lying (which isn't a hot take, I've seen other people who believe the same thing). What he said earlier really fit with the conclusions that could be drawn from Dead Apple. There is a real possibility that he when his ability regained control it just, ya know, lied.

Okay fine, whatever, what is his ability?? who, or what, is he? to be fully honest, I don't know.

But here's what we do know -- or for many of these, what we suspect (in number list so i can easily refer back to them)

1. Fyodor might be immortal. A very popular theory based mainly around the fact that he is everywhere in the BSD timeline but never seems to age

2. His ability probably works against him in some way, likely taking over his body due to some "weakness" that was brought forth by the ability, and then taken advantage of. I am going to refer to the "good" Fyodor we briefly see in ch 108 as 108!fyodor just to make things easier for myself.

3. He can kill non-gifted with a touch of his hand. I don't think he can kill gifted the same way (he had to shoot the cat-lady, plus every ability-kill we've seen thus far has been of non-gifted victims)

4. Nikolai does not know how to kill him (still unclear on the whole poisoning plotline-- I have seen the theory that Nikolai didn't poison them earlier, but the "antidote" is poison. Still not fully clear on how all of this fits together), and wants Sigma to find out his ability so he can kill him.

5. In Dead Apple, he was split into "Crime" and "Punishment". One person was an ability manifestion just like everyone else had been dealing with, the other was Fyodor himself acting as part of his ability-- which is odd because the ability is supposed to sever the gift from the gifted. and yet fyodor was still part of it, just fragmented. This supports the fyodor is not fully human idea presented by Sigma's question of "what are you?" and the immortaity theory. It also supports an alter-ego, as he had two personalities there.

6. fyodor has some vendetta against the gifted despite being a gifted himself

7. gifts are typically a result of some type of trauma or past experience. we do not really know his backstory.

so point 4. Nikolai doesn't know how to kill him. Assuming everything 108!fyodor said was true, this dagger could kill him:

sword Kladenets is an established sword type, typically belonging to a hero (interesting that fyodor has one...)

"In some heroic poems and ancient Russian legends, a sword Kladenets acts as a self-cutting sword, which, on the orders of its owner, can cut down an entire forest or at least the whole enemy army. Other weapons could heal or make their owners or holders – invulnerable."

interesting stuff. invincibility? Well, fyodor may be immortal (see point #1), so that could go hand in hand with that. It would also explain why a sword Kladenets would be needed to kill him-- any other weapon would fall short.

Also, fyodor's "ability" involves being able to kill other people easy-peasy by tapping them (point #3)-- which is the same thing the sword kladenets does. Remember, every person he's killed with his ability bled out where he touched them-- as if they were cut with a blade!!

But why can't he kill ability users? my theory is that abilities are on the same level as a sword kladenets, and therefore the sword cannot do it on its own. Fyodor can only be killed by the sword kladenets that he wields and not by an ability; he cannot kill an ability user with the sword. makes enough sense to me

okay, what else can we learn from the sword?

Everything I read about the sword describe that the hero has to find the sword; by digging it from the ground or taking it from a dead body, or some other way of earning it. Then the sword will work with the hero. But Fyodor's ability (which I am beginning to believe is simply the sword he wields) works against him (see point #2), which makes me think he obtained the sword without earning it. This could be the "weakness" that was brought forth by his ability and allowed for his ability to overtake him-- which makes sense!! he would not have that weakness had he not obtained the sword!

The sword is also often given a personality-- it is a character in itself (which would explain the alter-ego point #5)

furthermore, how could he have a sword in prison if it wasn't part of his ability??

So! what I am trying to say is that fyodor somehow wrongly obtained a sword kladenets (or perhaps in this universe, the sword kladenets), and is now controlled by it. this led to him form an alter ego (the sword's personality), which overtook him due to the fact that he did not earn the sword, and was not powerful enough to control it. The sword gave him the ability to be unkillable (and therefore immortal/unaging), and the ability to kill non-gifted easily by simple contact.

i would like to emphasize that i am very likely wrong, as this is BSD we're talking about after all. I am working from memory and a very small amount of research, and also using this as an excuse to procrastinate. Take this with a grain of salt. but also, please add onto this if you have thoughts. I have not read Crime and Punishment (I have copy but I've been busy) or any other Dostoevsky book, so if you have and you think this relates to his books in any way (or that it contradicts them) I'd love to hear it!

#bsd #my posts #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd chapter 108 #bsd manga spoilers #bsd fyodor #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bsd theories #okay im out of tags #i need to study for calc now bye #sorry for the typos #using my rambling skills here #i sat down at my desk to study and an hour later we have this

14 notes · View notes

specialagentartemis · 1 year

Text

A Catalogue of Longfics I Want (Plan?) To Write

Only ideas I think would be multiple chapters and 10k+ words; doesn’t even include oneshots like Sisko Negotiates Space NAGPRA or Picard Goes To An Archaeology Conference or Teen Ratthi Angsts About Going To College or The Crew Of The Hermes Gets Murdered And Their Brains Scooped Out.

Ranked from 1 🌱 = this is just daydreams and vibes, to 5 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 = I have a 10-page outline with every plot beat and thematic parallel written out.

A * means that I’ve actually posted several chapters to AO3 already

Wolf 359

The Last Days of the Lovelace Administration 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 Lovelace tells Minkowski what happened on her mission. Fully canon compliantly tragic. Everyone dies. Frame narrative. Lovelace-centric.

*To Stand Together Against Fate (Lambert Week fic) 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 An AU that spun off Zach Valenti’s “Lambert Week” streams. Lovelace and Lambert fight fate and REFUSE to let anyone die. The timeline gets slippy and things start getting weird. Lovelace won’t let a little thing like temporal causality hurt her crew though.

*Change the Rules 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱 Minkowski, Eiffel, and Hilbert do Box 953.

The Tiamat Horror 🌱🌱🌱 Zhang’s mission.

—

The Murderbot Diaries

Anthropology fic 🌱🌱🌱 Murderbot and Thiago go to a Corporation Rim mine where the miners are trying to unionize and strike, to do linguistic anthropology. They get more than they bargained for. Featuring SecUnit OCs, original filk, worker solidarity, and speculative linguistics.

*Home Again 🌱🌱🌱 The PresAux crew are home after their whole survey ordeal… but changed by the experience. Not the same people they were, and they don’t fit quite the same way. Augh I want to finish this but I’m kinda stuck on some of the chapters

Volescu backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱🌱 What if he was a political refugee and went through Some Shit. Would that be fucked up or what.

Pin-Lee backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱 Her CCC-esque service year before college.

Overse backstory fic 🌱🌱🌱🌱 Moved from a CR station to Preservation as a child. This causes some feelings.

Pin-Lee Exit Strategy POV 🌱🌱🌱🌱 As de facto leader here she was having a fucking Time.

Consuela Makeba’s story 🌱🌱🌱 THE EPIC OF HOW PRESERVATION WAS FOUNDED 300 YEARS AGO!!

The murder mystery one I started in an AUpril snip and went actually this is a banger concept 🌱 No idea where to go from here but it was a cool idea

—

Greek Epics And Mythology

Polites perspective on the Odyssey 🌱🌱 He gets to survive actually because honestly. Give one of Odysseus’s men a break. Something about how the men who weren’t kings and demigods and great remembered heroes still went Thru This Shit too. Epic poem in dactylic hexameter because I hate myself apparently

Odysseus adopts Cassandra 🌱🌱🌱 based on a tumblr post hell if I can find again. Clever use of Odysseus calling himself “Nobody”. Means he found a way to hear her prophecies and believe them, so she cuts a deal—she gets him home in 3 months rather than 10 years on the promise that if she does so he’ll adopt her as a legitimate daughter and princess of Ithaca. Very meta. In the format of a classic Sophoclean or Euripidean play.

Brithawon goes with Nestor to the Trojan War, has a bad time 🌱 I just think it would be fun

—

Star Trek

Kira is upset about Cardassian archaeologists on Bajor 🌱🌱 Sooooo much potential here

Sarina Douglas becomes an advocate for genetically engineered people’s rights 🌱 Here too!!!

—

Other

‘Emergence’ (Noel/Leon in 10th century Chaco Canyon) 🌱🌱🌱 An alternate ending to the Time Trap! series. No I never read the real ending that’s irrelevant. Noel and Leon fuck in this one. Also there is political intrigue regarding a Chaco elite marriage

The Tiamat Horror… 2! Primordial Deep version! (Sirena Halcyon and the 10 years she spent trapped in an underwater ocean research station) 🌱🌱🌱🌱 God!!! What was she DOING for ten years stuck in the place where her one surviving colleague killed all the rest of them! Featuring cuddling, horrifying transformations, and cannibalism.

#Artemis rambles #fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

greenlikethesea · 1 year

Note

Cactus! Chia! Edelweiss!

BLORBINIIIIIIIII! always with the funky fresh and fancy-free options :D

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

i've been wracking my brain like "what AM i learning about???" until it occurred to me that i've been neck deep in making sure the spanish i include in the jargyle is mexican-dialect accurate, after a lovely commenter pointed out that i used a phrase of Spain Spanish instead of Mexican Spanish, the former of which i learned in school. i'm also learning about what working for disney animation was like in the 1970s and early 1980s (long story short: it was a weird fuckin time for the animation department lmao, but robin hood was also made in 1973, so a win for the tech industry i guess) for backstory about argyle's family life before he moved to lenora that might not even make it into the story. the things i do!!!!! but i'm having so much fun.

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

you and i alone have SO MANY. several of the nicknames you and i call each other are inside jokes that have mutated so much that the original meaning is, while not lost to time, a whisper of a memory, the lacroix of etymological derivation -- for example, glory bee seeming like a regular thing to call a person in my brain, somehow. but, i mean, god forbid women and skrunkly bois do anything. (plus many more that involve our actual real lives and i'm not willing to divulge in that way! sorry y'all!)

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

*cracks knuckles* *delicately lifts framed master's degree off the wall and blows dust off it*

my username is from frank o'hara's poem mayakovsky, a poem which used to be my favorite of all time, and still holds a very special place in my heart. here's a link to the whole thing here, but here's the stanza this line comes from:

3. That’s funny! there’s blood on my chest oh yes, I’ve been carrying bricks what a funny place to rupture! and now it is raining on the ailanthus as I step out onto the window ledge the tracks below me are smoky and glistening with a passion for running I leap into the leaves, green like the sea

this poem means a lot of things for me, but this section in particular is about the folly of single-minded approach, how one can forget to take it all in when focused so acutely on one thing, or person, or objective. the notation of environment without actually experiencing it. the fog of every day living. i just love the rhythm of that phrase too, the scansion, and and how o'hara is right -- the ocean never really has been blue, has it? what else have you been taking as fact without actually examining it?

this fun and lovely ask game!

#asks #thank you for asking!#sorry i wrote a million things

8 notes · View notes

delugeinacup · 1 year

Text

you know the woman in the fridge trope? thats what clint barton is in fanfiction. i dont think ive read a single winterhawk fanfiction that didnt strip and tear down and abuse clint for the benefit of some other character [in this case bucky] to rise above, improve themselves, be given motivation, be the hero and the big strong savior of some sort. thats all that ever happens to him. hes the damsel, hes the injured, the weak, the mess, the "disaster," the one constantly sacrificed for the sake of absolving and building up the other character into something big and good and better and important, always as the cost of clint’s autonomy, health, well being, dignity, self worth, skills and ability and value. so the other one can "build" clint back up and be hailed as the one that saved him and got him through his times of trouble and become the shining star in his life or in the story in general.

bucky doesnt have to do RIGHT, or be better or have his own character development... clint just has to be damaged and torn down in a way that makes whatever bucky IS already, LOOK better. so he can be the pillar for clint and by virtue of clint being so LOW, bucky is higher. its annoying. and its cliche, and its every single story in this entire fucking tag on tumblr and ao3. not one single one isnt like this. im not sure i can take it anymore. 241 pages of winterhawk fics, and i have not read a SINGLE one [excluding snapshots or kissficlets or pwp] that isnt this exact plot over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

[to be clear; ive read every. single. fic. in the winterhawk tag on ao3. 4,800 or so fics. - i filtered out threesomes and fics with other clint pairs and bucky pairs, or when clint/bucky was a past/former/barely there minor side pair. i may have skipped a few things because they were really poorly formatted or poorly written or were just art or bullet points or poems or ideas, but... yeah. all of them. im housebound, have insomnia and a compulsive disorder that drives me, and have NO life, so i have all the time in the world to read, so that’s what i did.]

no other character gets treated this way, that ive seen. and the depiction of clint in fanfiction is not even remotely canonical for him in the comics or movies. i dont get it. do yall not like the canon character at all? why not just make an oc then? if you are just gonna change everything about him except his name and the archery thing and some of the circus backstory, why not just find a different character to use or pair with bucky? maybe youve all been in echo chamber headcanons for so long you forgot who he is?

i guess no one in winterhawk LIKES clint, and just uses him to boost bucky and provide him with ever more glorification and character development - while stripping clint of all the things that make him clint, or plotting for him to lose them so he becomes dependent on bucky anyway. im close to abandoning this fandom entirely, [ooh, im sure youll be devastated if i leave, since im criticizing yall, right?] because the headcannon bullshit of clint being a pathetic tiny talentless incompetent clutzy disaster with no skill to speak of, spending all his time berated and belittled by everyone, only being spoken to in “bantery” insults and outclassed in every conceivable way, while having his marksmanship reduced to ONLY shooting arrows and even so, not up to snuff compared to the main character of the day, and stripping him of ANY and all combat skills, and he also cant speak a complete sentence without stuttering and blushing every other line is just... so fucking exhausting.

yall dont like clint at all, it seems, cause you reduce and disrespect and emasculate and infantilize him and use him solely as a dickless fuckhole for whoever you pair him with, and pretend hes an unintelligent oblivious idiot and ... god the incompetence thing really irritates me. at best, hes some kind of mascot to your ensemble fics, and is always always shredded and injured and needs to depend on everyone else and in no way is a worthy member of any agency... hes always the slapstick idiot who needs to be compensated for by everyone, and talked down to all the time because hes not good at literally anything. why is this depiction of him so popular?!?!

read the comics, guys. and not just fractions kinda lame take for the sake of glorifying kate.

4 notes · View notes

windlion · 2 years

Text

Malevolent Podcast Screamalong, Part 5??? Eps 15-17

Ooooh hints at traumatic backstory time!

I've got different theories on the back burner for Arthur's kid and/or wife. Would be interesting if Arthur's wife is the one who shoved John in the book and that's part of what changed him

The psuedopod named John can't quite separate from the whole colony huh

Arthur has a bit of trouble with victimization and priorities here

"I miss your method of emotional expression" "I don't."

John all "Maybe you wouldn't be so emotionally constipated if you just had a piano and could compose"

The meatsuit is taking some significant damage so far this ep

I hope you're up to date on your tetanus shots

John we talked about underestimating other eldritch entities

"Oh fuuuuck" "Yes"

Many problems, one solution. *flicks lighter*

Meatsuit really be going through it this time

"That was not a very well thought-out plan" No shit Sherlock

I've been through too many games where ANY resources are useful so watching them bypass loot is like "Noooooooo what are you doing"

BRING ANY WATER YOU HAVE Noooo

"Foolproof" ahahaha no

"What do we do" "Die horribly."

John all ". . . Uh how about not"

Lovely is exactly the right word for it. WORMS WORMS WORMS and that's totally what was on the desk in the boat because eyaaaagh

Arthur trying for the charisma roll!

That did . . . not really work

Each of you guys keep swinging wildly between kill everything-forgive things - and I can't really keep track of any logic behind it

Did y'all not remember your plot quest marker

"I wasn't enough." and John immediately up in arms like "who said that?!"

And you keep swinging between the "Do things / don't do things"

Always always going down

Arthur's turn to do the "Here's some existential terror"

"Can you give me more poems, please?"

Chirpy-thing had better not be evil *hard stare*

Or die horribly. We like chirpy salamander.

Seeing eye-demon is leaving out vital details

Plot points~~~

You guys really could have avoided a lot of that drama if you just threw dignity to the wind and flat-belly-squiggled to reach that

Aaaaand then things continue downward

At least when you're at the bottom there's nowhere to go but up???

It's one of your old friends, a chute!

Meat puppet is really taking a beating lately; you need another Wraith refresh

I would be bitching so bad about the "Quietly!" "You do this quietly!"

100% on Arthur's side of Read The Damn Book. Knowledge!

And that's how we're both going to die in Forbidden Fucked Up Fantasyland

"We're going to do this if it kills us" Mmmmmm not the best thing to say

Oh now you're on team Murder, you guys really do keep swapping

Many problems, one solution!

insert Jason Good Place Bortles gif

And then we get the traumatic backstory!

"I failed, that day" "You won't fail again"

Aw, John taking ownership/protectorship of this sad fucked up human

ohhhhh that doesn't sound good

Every time John does a "no that way" I imagine his left hand hauling Arthur to one side or the other

For once, upwards!

Arthur sorta waivers between low-key suicidal ideation and high key and with that poem reference. . . oof.

"Well you have me there" that was VERY fond <3

#Wind is a ridiculous creature #Screamalong #Malevolent podcast #eps 15-17 #100% would be doomed for reading the Forbidden Scripture whatever that will break your brain #just on the basis of *Fuck it it MIGHT help and I won't know unless I KNOW*

8 notes · View notes

randowwriter · 2 years

Note

For the Fave's Ask... 1-21 😁

Starting off tough! (With question one, but that's okay.) XD I don't know about absolute favorites right now, but I loved My Sisters The Saints by Colleen Campbell as well as Left To Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza. (Where memoirs are concerned.) My favorite volume from Yona of the Dawn is volume 18 (because of Zeno's backstory!). As far as poetry goes, right now, I'm enjoying Mantras Of A Poet Jessica Powers, but haven't finished reading that yet. Date And Time by Phil Kaye was my go to read last year, because I bought it during a Poetry Month sale (having heard several of the poems in it before), and have reread certain poems lots of times. I also loved my anthology of Robert Frost's poetry. (And I love so many poems by poets I have yet to get poetry collections and chapbooks for.) Novels? Not sure; I haven't been reading much fiction lately. XD (And when I have, it's been fanfiction.) XD And in general, I love C.S. Lewis' writing, though I've read very, very little of his fiction. 2. Ooh. Out of the movies I saw recently, I absolutely loved Chariots of Fire! Like, I watched it about last month or so, but it's absolutely incredible! (I'm debating rewatching it. It's a true story about the Olympics to summarize poorly, but it's about two men in particular who ran during the Olympic games. And it's just incredible.) As far as Studio Ghibli films, I ranked Princess Mononoke as my favorite years ago (and I haven't watched near enough of those). For watching a lot of movies lately, I'm really blanking. XD 3. Right now, probably Yona of the Dawn or Akagami No Shirayukihime. Chuck is up there on the list too, for a non-anime suggestion. I really love FMA in general, and I've been enjoying the Fruits Basket reboot when I was watching it regularly. I have a Season to go in that and the Prelude to see. XD (I've read the whole manga, which now that I realized I didn't mention series has been up in my favorites as far as manga series go. A place that Yona of the Dawn is also at.) :) 4. I don't know??? I listen to all sorts of songs. I've been really enjoying songs about family and friendship though haven't been listening to them as much. XD I know every time I hear "Holy Spirit" by Francesca Battistelli on the radio, I stop and listen. It practically sits me right down in Adoration, and one day, if I ever felt like I could or should bring music with me to Adoration, I'd take just that song. I was absolutely in love with I Wanna Go Back by David Dunn last year. :) Then Cursillo happened, which sounds funny, but afterwards, I stopped finding the song as relatable. (Which is probably fantastic in some ways.) XD Anything Matthew West or Francesca Battistelli is amazing. XD But I didn't really list songs out of other genres, whoops.

5. Of music? I don't have one. Well, in terms of writing, I like stuff that focus on relationships. Like I love family, friendship, and romance genres the most. As far as anything more exact than that, I don't have anything else? I do really love Fantasy though as well, though rarely write or read it, whoops. XD In music, it's the lyrics that are most important to me, if I don't like the lyrics, I don't like the song, and if I love the lyrics, I love the song. So, I listen to about any genre imaginable. XD 6. Uh??? Found Family, I guess??? I don't usually think about tropes, but I always forget that's a trope, and I love it. (Something like what happens in Chuck with the main characters or Yona of the Dawn with the Happy Hungry Bunch. Like both of those are my best examples for what kind of Found Family I'm looking for.) <3 <3 <3 7. What??? Well, I love my family and friends and the Saints, etc... (I guess to put it simply, which doesn't help with specifics.) Saints feel like really good friends or siblings or role models, and there are definitely Saints I fangirl over, though that's probably not the right word. XD And Jesus! Of course! (Since it says people, I'm assuming human. And Jesus being both Human and Divine has to count.) My goal is to love everybody, and so, I'm not actively ranking people. That sounds like a really crazy goal, but it's something I want to do. (Which means loving my enemies, which I don't like to call anybody an enemy, so the closest to enemies I have are the people that don't like me. So, I love them extra hard! Even though it's onesided!) <3 <3 <3

#favorites ask game #sctwilightvampwolfgal

3 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 4 months

Note

i'm back!! it's been a while since I've been in your askbox, i forgot how nice it was :) and i am having fun! talking about chs 10-21 right now... this will probably be ask 2/3 about winter!

i really loved how everyone just kind of rolled with the android thing, and after suspecting that he was human, still attested that like. okay well whether he's human or android, let's care about him. he's guy, after all. I'd suspected guy wasn't actually an android (though admittedly, I kind of wanted him to be, because like, thats fun, and i have a lot of thoughts on robots-as-humans, but I think it's a bit too high concept for a3... well, real-life a3, at least. clockwork heart can deal with that stuff instead)

but, to that end, I'm glad that they figured it out pretty quickly? like, guy has that "defragmentation" dream, and azuma comes in the next day like. pretty sure he's human, guys, and then it gets resolved from there. I felt like they let it go on for a proper amount of time. i got so excited when one of the ch titles was "defrag" bc I'd listened to guy's chara song before... can't wait to look up the lyrics once i finish act 2! azuma bringing up the idea is also very neat, since he's the one that calls guy "mr. android" / android-san... like it shows, I think, a kind of awareness from him, when he calls guy that? as a playful sort of test like, ah yes, you, an android, which I totally believe you are... it's very neat is what I'm saying. it's really funny that azuma's so confidently like. androids don't dream. I've never read it but there's this one book called "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" and it's the inspiration for like, the film Blade Runner? so i kept thinking of that every time they brought it up.

i have a couple of thoughts on guy and citron's relationship and his backstory but!! a couple things i wanna address first of course: the play, and the various looks into winter we get

I think it was really neat that guy got to have an individual interaction with every member of the winter troupe! it was such a great way to reflect back on what they'd been through, and a clear demonstration that the a3! writers absolutely UNDERSTAND what they're conveying!! like, it's nice to know that a3!'s story being so good isn't just like, chance or accident--they absolutely have set up winter to me a troupe that's a bit older and a bit more reserved. it's really nice, too, that as with tsumugi saying that they needed to learn how to close that sense of distance, every member tries to offer up information about themselves and bond with guy. they're trying to not repeat the same mistakes! with the android thing, they even overstep a little while questioning guy, and that's like... something they would've never done before! because they wouldn't have tried to push anything.

the homare section probably hit me hardest. i mean, i was anticipating it and all, but it's like... i was proved so right that it hit me harder? like, yeah, homare relates to guy about not expressing or understanding emotion in a "standard" way... that's exactly what i'd wanted to happen! his poem in this segment was also ace. great vocalization the syllables of it sounded so fun and good. i wonder if homare likes to repeat fun-sounding stuff that gets stuck in his head... i do that all the time. like killua's low voiced baaaka. i repeat that to myself just for fun sometimes. i also really like how homare talked about his watch. like, first off, he so easily says that tasuku will fix it for him again... it's just such a lovely feeling of like, homare can trust his friends enough that he knows his watch is fine... how dear! but also he describes this was as "a symbol of sorts of that fear" referring to the idea that he's "broken" and can't function normally in the world and will like... be discarded, right? and then he says that despite that fact, he keep s it with him because it's also part of how he's overcoming that fear of his. I really liked this presentation of it because I think it's one that is respectful of like... my complicated feelings towards homare's grandmother, who loved him, but wasn't kind about the way she did, I think. so I like that he acknowledges the watch for the gift it is but also doesn't shy away from the fact that it caused him pain. I also really like that he said the point isn't to understand but to feel compassion... yeah! like, there's different ways of communicating with others that's not just simple empathy, which I think is so cool.

and then homare and hisoka... along with homare smiling while talking about what a pain hisoka is, his voice sounds so clearly joyful. and homare says that, too! that it's all such a joy.

i was attacked in particular by this moment bc I'd had a small wip from when I'd just finished awakening moon, concerning like... chikage and homare, where they kind of examine their relationships with hisoka and stuff? and there's this bit I'd written where chikage asks homare something similar to what guy asks here, which is essentially like: why do you bother. isn't hisoka kind of annoying the way he is?

and I'd written:

"But you see, the fondness I feel for our dear troupe’s Hisoka… I find it blooms even more when complains!" Homare's eyes twinkled. "An anger that’s sticky sweet and light as air… surely the Hisoka who is more fair is less himself, true? So, to see him as he is, for me, is a great treasure!”

and. putting that up against a3!, which has homare say this:

"I find myself quite fond of Hisoka Mikage, and everything that makes him, him. I would rather not have another."

it's like... the same intentions! so I was absolutely stricken. and as always i love how much homare adores hisoka... like, just before this he's like. yeah hisoka's a pain. and he's unsociable. and like other insults to his character. and then he's like. well. i do love all of that. it's so... homare!! i love you...

hisoka's bit was very nice... and he's right, azuma does need to be protected sometimes. I like how clearly they state some stuff here, it's so cool. on that note I'm so happy azuma's got a roommate now and won't sleep alone. like... that's so awesome. and when azuma tells guy about a bit of his past, guy!! instinctively pats him on the head!! that's WONDERFUL!! i cheered when that happened. i feel like azuma would really benefit from being around someone who's like... just very naturally physically affectionate, and if guy is patting azuma's head on instinct... i bet he'd help make azuma feel less alone. also azuma saying that he used to think of tasuku as someone cold and insensitive... but now he's realized just how sweet he is, that got me!! i think it also really outlines how like. serious nocturnality was. like, azuma and tasuku not being super close wasn't just like. minor awkwardness. they'd kind of majorly not understood each other? which is why that event is so good.

it was also neat that tasuku was like "oh you'll understand tsumugi through acting" and tsumugi said the exact same thing. nerds (affectionate). they're so funny like first off all the fact that according to azuma when they get drunk they just argue about theater together... or like, after tasuku and guy did that impromptu street act, tsumugi was like. how could you not invite me??? and instead of tasuku being like. it was spur of the moment how could i have he instead decided to be like well someone doesn't wake up early enough in the morning! like. they're so sweet. also the way tasuku's like. guy, do NOT ask tsumugi stuff about me. that's a real "old friends" thing you do...

next point on the list: the phantom of the opera!

had to wikipedia the actual phantom of the opera bc admittedly. i did not know anything abt it. i think it's really interesting how tsuzuru leaned harder on themes of revenge in order to make the play work without romance, and i have to say, I think he achieved it! like, from a quick google, the phantom was born with his face being disfigured, where as here, he was burned in the fire of like. competition. so it really changes him from being like. a guy that never received love and is desperate for it, if he's someone who hasn't been like, hiding his face since birth. the phantom being like, “this scar is evidence of your sins" reminded me of skip beat! which I don't know if you've ever read... but there's a character someone acts as, called mio, who's like that.

since tasuku said guy could understand tsumugi through his acting, I have to say I'd agree, because chris here has a lot of qualities that remind me of tsumugi? like, the criticisms of his voice levelled towards him is that it's “delicate, intimate, ill-suited for a concert hall” which is rather... similar to how tsumugi's acting has been criticized, isn't it? it's nice to see tasuku play raoul and be nicely supportive of tsumugi, too. I would be so interested to see how they staged this, like, did they sing the opera? did they get voice samples? did they get someone to play strings for all the opera bits as a way to suggest voice? would be cool to know. there's a line in the play where raoul's annoyed that the phantom has completely Replaced chris’s voice in one of his performances... they kind of drop that line of thought in this abridged version of the play, so I wonder if it'll get addressed a little in the story? i'm excited...

them watching winter's original performance was cool! like, apart form the fact that guy had seen it, which is neat, i imagine it must have taken some skill to play christine. in terms of winter playing female roles, my mind went to homare instead of azuma first, which proves that. we're of the same mind. he's right, anyways--“beauty and art know no gender!” homare can be the tallest most beautiful lady if he wishes...

i did laugh when izumi was like. the phantom in the play hides all his pain and suffering inside, motivated by only the thought of revenge… I wonder if guy can express that kind of emotion?

me, reaching through the screen to place a hand on her shoulder: listen, tsuzuru wrote this. expression may be an issue but guy likely has at least some of these emotions in him. tsuzuru’s a precog about this kind of thing and also probably particularly emotional about citron right now

speaking of, apart from tsuzuru writing the play and chikage getting data from the microchip, spring's kinda been... absent? like, I guess it's because citron is gone, and it's not like we've seen much of summer or autumn, either, but like... i dunno. I wouldn't be surprised if they were concocting travel plans to zafra without telling anyone. mostly because I think it would affect citron emotionally if they were that ridiculous for him. and spring's always been kind of ridiculous... see how they were with itaru leaving, or with chikage, or with masumi at the airport... I think citron should get something dramatic there, too.

while I'm on ridiculous speculation I can't believe citron's brothers are orange, navel, and tangerine. like... really...? do you have a gay cousin called grapefruit, too? like at least citron is citronia, yknow? anyways, like he said, he gets along quite well with his youngest brother, in comparison to the other two. of the little we've seen, his youngest brother seems kind of muku-esque? and citron's always so sweet towards muku... I wonder why that's part of it. like, he was willing to play prince for muku in blazing beachside passions iirc? i think he just values like. having that sibling connection be strong, too.

right but my wild speculation was that orange and navel are soooo hammy in terms of implying, like, wow, citron, I thought you were dead! and saying they hope his coronation goes without...... .... .... incident, so it would be fun and also devastating if the person plotting for citron's demise was actually his youngest brother. just saying.

the two CGs so far were also really really good. guy with the flowers was like... so pretty. and then him having a nightmare was. well he was also pretty there. but it was a good moment to pick. "defragmentation" is literally his character song and his mental turmoil with emotions and stuff is a pretty big part of him. now that he's actually emoting in rehearsal, izumi was like "i'm sure the play will go smoothly!" and in my head i laughed bc hello. we hae 17 chapters left. i don't think so.

and now finally i get to discuss citron and guy's relationship!

first off, it makes even clearer sense that citron speaks of class / status difference when discussing how a clockwork heart relates to him and guy, because he knows that guy isn't even an android. i really enjoyed the little moments of conversation that guy flashbacked to, because they're really interesting in terms of what citron's saying. like when he's asking "guy, why must we always fight like this?" or other things, citron is trying to prod him into expressing his emotions, but he's doing it with this sense of insecurity in their friendship, too. like, he wants guy to have fun when he's having fun, so the relationship feels real and not one-sided. he wants guy to feel sad about them fighting, because it means they care about each other. etc. citron's been so good this entire arc so far... i really love that we get to see him being kind of perceptive and stuff. he's always been that way, it's just more obvious here. and i love that it doesn't really change what we know about citron, too. he can say cutting words towards some of his brothers and tell zafra guy betrayed him, and he can extend so much love and care towards guy by giving izumi that charm, which is a really sneaky thing to do. ah. it's interesting how izumi and guy differ in their views of citron and guy's meeting... guy thinks of himself as a new interesting toy that a prince picked up, and izumi denies that, but I actually think both are a bit incorrect? like, I think citron picked guy as his attendant in a very selfish, kind of bratty move as a prince who wanted friends. and then after he'd done that, he decided to treasure him as much as possible. but that initial meeting... I think it was a rather ordinary spark of curiosity, and then guy became important for citron. which he clearly is, now. I can so clearly imagine a younger citron seeing that message from guy's dad and then committing to trying to find a way to make it work.

speaking of. i was sympathetic regarding guy's mother's worries, because like, hey, she's in a foreign country and married to someone who's not really financially stable in any sort of way. however, considering that her new husband was The Worst, it's not like she was divorcing guy's dad out of concern for guy, I'm pretty sure. it was nice to learn about guy's past, though! the VA did such a good job with guy's initial emotional outburst--it startled me when he got mad the first time! i realized just how much of a contrast there was. also when he cries and instictively calls it oil and homare is like. well, taste it, why don't you? that's such a poet thing to do...

i think that's the sum of my thoughts! i've been taking a few notes on zafra... seeing that it's described as being from west asia, it feels like the writing is pulling from... lets say, flat? depictions of like, i don't know. the disney aladdin kind of vibes. I'm kind of intrigued by the tourism industry being such a big part of the the country, though... like, would citron's disappearance not be more public news? or does no one know the heir until he's been coronated... just some musings. it's very nice that they have jasmine there... it's one of my favorite plants, and in the indian weddings I've been to, we all wear it in our hair. part of the reason I'd kinda wanted guy to be a bonafide android is because I think it would be interesting for a place like zafra to be a really tech-heavy place considering traditional depictions of that region. anyways, I suppose I'll just see what's going on as it develops...

YIPEEE WELCOME BACK!! twice in one day, you've advanced fast!!! always nice to see you back in the askbox ;DD

under cut!

YEAH GOD i love how they rolled with it. tbh the fact it was Winter probably made it easier to swallow i mean. Team "i mean we experienced supernatural events in here, so why wouldn't an android exist". But it's nice that once they had doubt about him being human they still tried to approach it kindly as it is and still were really concerned about him. (understandable though, but yeah, this would be only for Clockwork heart in that regard)

but yeah i do like that it's been handled quickly, and like… it makes sense from our resident night terror guy to look at Guy trying to frame his own night terrors as something else and going mhmmmmm yeah no something is up here. + Azuma being a therapist he was basically having all of the reasons to see right through it. but yeah i do think they managed to keep it up for the right amount of time. And Defrag is such a good song so <33 hope you'll enjoy it once you check the lyrics! And you're so right about the way Azuma himself calls him android-san in a way that's so playful since he's the one person who can figure out just how human Guy actually is. And true about that book, it probably fits the theme pretty much on that regard.

YOURE SOOO RIGHT this chapter really showed the writers are really deliberate in their way to write Winter and it really worked wonders on that regard. Honestly as someone who was pointing those things out before the release of this chapter, i was so vindicated when they kept putting into words what i've been saying all along. I was so happy.

Guy is really in this situation where he has a bit of everyone's struggle in him, so the way Winter had to learn to approach one another is really having its pay off right here with how, now they know, and Guy is joining, and they know how to help him now. it was so so good. In the past, indeed, they would have ignored it. but now they had learnt so much from one another that they were ready to take care of Guy. It's so much to me.

God i was waiting for you to experience the Homare section. you already felt so strongly for Homare with his own focused stories, and you immediately figured Homare should connect with him on the android side, and the story reward you by giving you exactly what you expect. Also loving the little moment of you relating to how Homare loves sound <3 it actually reminds me of how when i was in poetry class in my English cursus, our teacher read us poems in other languages that even he didn't understand, and he said "poetry isn't always in the meaning, sometimes it's just about how it sounds. It could mean nothing, but the fact those words sounded this way is what makes it precious. sometimes it's even better to read poetry from language you don't know, because then when it clicks, you understand the poetry without having to understand what it says". During that lesson i immediately thought about Homare and the fact he canonically has a lot of fans oversea. This is exactly this logic going on here. THE WAAATCH GAAAH THE WHOLE THING. EXACTLY LIKE YOU SUM IT UP YEAH. Like it is all of those feelings that really brewed since MMMBM that it just ends up being so good when Homare can put everything into words like this. it's so touching.

AND YEAH. THE PURE JOY. GAAAHH. I love them your honor……..

AND OH MY GOD. OH MY GODDDDD??? you literally nailed Homare so much that on writting a piece before The Greatest Journey you nailed EXACTLY how Homare would so fondly talk about Hisoka being a pain in the ass (affectionate) and how he wouldn't be Hisoka if he wasn't also a little annoying. I love this so much it's so so good. you totally nailed it.

AND YEAH… The way Homare talked baout Hisoka here just makes me cry like. it's really just, loving him even so, or like, bECAUSE he's a pain at time. because it's so Hisoka, it's so unbashedly him, that it's just so good and just. god. it's adorable. Homare you're so sweet i love you so much he's so loving.

Hisoka's bit was really soft yeah. The fact he immediately talks about protecting Azuma just makes me so teary. Like yeah Azuma does need it!! but at this point where they haven't had big moments aside from how Azuma always take care of Hisoka it's just so so touching. AND YEAH. AZUMA FINALLY HAVING A ROOMMATE. i'm so happy for him. I looked forward the winter rookie ever since Azuma opened up about his night terrors and the fact Guy is the perfect roomie makes it so perfect i'll never stop crying about it. AND GOD YEAH. Azuma both having done so much work he's able to open himself up like this AND Guy being able to give Azuma the affection he needs even though at this point Guy has closed himself from his emotion it's just. it's so touching. As for Azuma's comment on Tasuku it's something that really got me too because, 1) i had the same process with Tasuku back then so i felt it, and 2) this is really the confirmation of just how their relationship in the first winter chapter was genuinely incompatible at the time. Like both of them basically were miscommunicating on their affection language and it really actually put a major divide between them, but since they're polite adults, a lot of people don't really realize that they REALLY didn't get along in the first chapter??? Nocturnality really changed the way they viewed each other, especially how Azuma saw Tasuku, and it was so great and i love that The Greatest Journey just plainly said it. again it was a moment of vindication for me because i've been saying it ever since i've first read Nocturnality and it clicked, and i've seen a lot of people not really realizing how bad it was??? (of course it's not your case, we were discussing it so much back then ahah). I love how The Greatest Journey really show us, well, what a journey it was for Winter to finally come to the same page. what a time.

Tasuku and Tsumugi are such major nerds though god. and YESS they're just so cute i love Tsumugi being pouty about not being able to join. They have such a good dynamic, always. And i love love everything you say there yes. it's so perfect.

And ooohhhh, welcome to the world of POTO i actually had. so many thoughts about Guy being casted as Erik then because a lot of things made sense to me from that moment. So, Erik's facial disfiguration depends on which adaptation you read/watch in general also, so it's probably the reason Tsuzuru picked inspiration from others adaptations. To me it struck me to have Guy play Erik because Erik is not a phantom -- he's a guy, who's basically been made the monster by the people around him so much so he basically believed himself to be a monster. but it's being shown compassion by Christine that makes him realize he doesn't have to be the monster people made him out to be, and it's why he let her go, let his bitterness go. So i kinda saw coming that Guy wasn't an android for the same reason -- he's just a guy (lol) who was told he was an android by people around him, so much so he basically believed himself to be an android. But by being shown compassion, he realizes he's not what people tried to make of him. Also in the original book, Erik once travelled in the (orientalist) middle east and became the assassin for the royal figure of that country, and killed for him and all, until eventually he was considered a liability and had to run away back to Paris, and he's followed by the Persian, a man who is trying to take care of him because of this situation. On that end i think it kinda suck that A3 stuck to it lol but the "became a tool in the middle east to the royal family, but once he came back home he still had people from here showing him affection" is also here in guy's storyline. tho the similitude to skip beat seems cool :oo

In term of Tsumugi=Chris, you really nailed it, it really fits him very well. Ironically just like Chris(tine), Tsumugi needed a little push from good friends and maybe supernatural intervention in order to be given a chance. i think they mention somewhere for the opera, how they did it? so if they don't mention it since then i'll tell you, else you'll see -- however i must address that, to "train", the N cards for POTO are all about the Winter Troupe going karaoke in order to see if they could be opera singers. (also major recommandation of Hisoka's SR Backstage because he's so funny in it it's one of my favorite backstage ever)

Honestly nowadays most of Winter could easily do feminine roles and like. I feel you, Homare would be perfect. Hell, considering he played a woman role recently and he was the most gorgeous woman i've ever set my eyes on, i think it's fair to say that Homare is 100% right and that Hisoka dismissing it is WRONG and STUPID and --

AND HELPPP. Izumi, how could you doubt Tsuzuru? Like sure Guy may struggle, but the whole point is that with Tsuzuru's ability you just need to wwait a little and Guy will connect with it so hard it's going to rewire his whole life. This is Tsuzuru's power. if Tsuzuru wrote it this way, it'll be fine. and you're personally so right about how you word it lmao

"it would affect citron if they act ridiculous for him. and they're kind of ridiculous" this is the best summary of spring i've ever seen. you're so right. They're so overthetop and ridiculous. You know that if they want to get Citron back they'll get him back in style. they're only keeping quiet for the grand final. or something.

gd yeah Citron's brothers' names are awful. ALSO THE GAY COUSIN LINE IM DLKFJDLKFJDL KIRI YOURE AMAZING. but yeah. Citron i could believe with Citronia and all, but the brothers' names are just… A3 please try to not make those a joke……… Tangerine really is a lot like Muku yeah. It's mentioned at some point and yeah, i think Citron really saw Tangerine in Muku so much so he imprinted on Muku right away. It's really sweet.

your speculation game is incredible though no note lmao

and you're sooo right about the CG. In the spring chapter the CG were Chikage at what he does best (trickery, also "playing" games with Spring), Chikage at his most vulnerable (crying with Hisoka) and Chikage's journey with his troupe (sleeping with them) (you know what i mean). Autumn and Summer kinda had another formula but one that fits both of them. it's Kumon and Azami doing what they do best (Baseball, Make Up), an emotional catharsis moment (Kumon crying after the play, Sakyo worrying about Azami), and members of the troupe without the rookies, but concerned for them (Yuki&Tenma's phonecall, Autumn's fursona beatdown). So far Guy is pretty much "Guy at his most Vulnerable" (Defrag), and Guy discovering new way to do things, which i think fits closer to the first paterns, as he's bonding with Winter/Tsumugi there. But yeah it was just, such a good choice aaaahhh.

"izumi was like "i'm sure the play will go smoothly!" and in my head i laughed bc hello. we hae 17 chapters left. i don't think so. " DLKFJDLKFJDLKFJDFLKJDLKFJDKLFDJFD PLEASE HELP. yeah. yeah.

As for Citron and Guy let's go-- yeah it reframes how Citron immediately related to Clockwork Heart, because even if S isn't human, Citron could just see his relationship with Guy there - and Guy is human, so S is just as human to him. Doesn't matter what would make him less of one. he's like his good friend. And i love the way you explain it, yeah, completely. Like Citron just wants it to be real for Guy too, and of course he's hurt by Guy's standoffishness, a bit for his own reasons of course, but also mostly because Guy himself is isolating himself and Citron would love to just be allowed in. And i think it reflects also on his relationship with Spring, why Citron was always bothering Masumi in particular for instance since Masumi was the one who closed his feelings off the most- i think Citron just saw how much Guy closed himself in and therefore made this distance between them and just, didn't want it to happen again if he could avoid it. And i really agree on the way their first meeting went there. I do think it was a mix of both. Izumi is projecting an emotional and rational adult she knows on an isolated child, while Guy is projecting a lack of emotion that he has been subjected with his whole life on Citron. but i 100% agree on how you read Citron was actually like.

and god. yeah the mother's stuff were a bit rough. I admit it's something i had such a difficult time with for very "related a bit too hard to the situation and hurt myself in the process" type that a3 does too well (because why is it that when it's relatable it's genuinely cutting ways too deep and close to home? a3 answer for your crimes). But learning about Guy's past and how much it affected him was really nice, yea. And you're SOO right about the voice acting, it was such a good job, god. I love the range he has, especially when he sets up this monotony with Guy and then finally he's allowing the emotions to burst. it's so so good.

AS FOR THE OIL. OH GOD. first, so true about Homare being so poetic about it. second, That reminds me of a post i saw once on here about how the rookies are, all four of them, the four characters of the Wizard of Oz. Four people who are set to look for something they're missing only to realize they had it all along. i'm summing it up a bit but definitely read it, it's no longer spoilery for you and the wording of the post itself makes me cry because it really made it so clear. Chikage as the Scarecrow looking for a brain, because Chikage was so lost in his grief he couldn't think for himself. Guy as the Tinman looking for a heart, not believing he had emotions while they were here all along. Kumon as the cowardly lion looking for courage, because his anxiety is what is holding him back, and yet he still has the courage in the end to seek a better ending for himself. And Azami as Dorothy, just looking to return home, even though his family here wouldn't listen to them, having to chose between home and something they loved and being told they can't have both while they want both.

S O Guy seeing his own feelings running like oil really fits in this metaphor as well because the tinman in the wizard of oz constantly needs people to oil him so he can move - in this situation Guy needed poeple who could help him process his emotions some way so he could move forward.

Just. muah.

as for the closing words yeah i. i do think that Zafra is basically an orientalist caricature in some way, which is pretty sad. A3 is such a fantastic game once it comes to how some people process trauma, a lot of mental health related deep dive that i rarely saw treated with this much love and compassion anywhere, also with quite the way to play with gender norms and all…. but when it comes to being culturally sensitive, they end up dropping the ball more often than not and that's really such, such a shame. Zafra being such an important "lore piece" it ends up being really more cringey than when it's just their plays being insensitive. it really blows. But in a more wastionian approach it can be funny to think about how this country is supposed to work, as you said about the tourism and all. As for Jasmine, it's so nice that you ended up liking seeing it aahh. Guy makes a big deal out of Jasmine flowers during his base SSR backstage if you ever feel like reading it? it was pretty nice. Though you're right, Zafra being tech heavy with an actual android could have been very fun. and i'm sure there would be some interesting storylines to have with that but alas…

I hope that despite the insensitivities you'll end up liking the end of the story.

as usual i loved to read your takes <333 it made me emotional about the boys all over again… them…. Take care and see you soon ;D

#ichareply #long post for ts #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3

1 note · View note

pigeon-princess · 3 years

Photo

TYBALT MONTAGUE’S BACKSTORY

It’s been a long time coming but here is the compiled backstory of my DnD Half-Orc Bard/Fighter Tybalt, tracing his life up until he joined the adventuring party known as The Tresspassers. I’ve also included drawings by me and other party members below the cut!

(CW: SEXUAL ASSALT, RAPE) A small portion of Tybalt’s backstory contains some traumatic events, however they are not described in detail.

There is a collection of Islands off the coast of the continent of Iona, known by many as The Isles of Thiva. The culture of the islands is very Medditeranean, Italian and Greek inspired, so as you travel through you’d likely be seeing beautiful cliffside cities, lush wineries and lively street culture.

For people living in Thiva, Orc pirates from across the seas are a serious problem, especially for certain villages on the Eastern coast. When an Orc raid passes through a city there is always a wave of destruction from the pirates, resulting pillaging, raping and murder thoughout.

For the few women who survive their traumatic assault, only a handful of them are strong enough to survive and give birth to Half-Orc children. Because of this, Half-Orcs in Thiva are often looked down upon and shunned, almost as if they are a walking reminder of the trauma that the Isles have suffered.

TYBALTS EARLY YEARS

Tybalt was one of these children. His mother was an Elven woman called Marina, from a small fishing village called Alta Maria. At the time of the Orc raid she had a husband and two, young half elven children called Mercutio and Benvolio. After surviving the attack, everyone thought she had gone mad for wanting to keep the child, but she was determined to love the baby despite the slander her husband threw at her. For her, the child was her own and one she wanted to protect them at any cost. Young Tybalt barely ever left his mothers side for the first 6 years of his life, his older brothers never wanted to play with him and his mothers husband couldn’t stand the sight of him. Despite all this he was happy by his mothers side.

Marina - Tybalts Elven mother (Art by @lulii999)

Marina’s Drawings - A young Tybalt finds a crab, Mercutio, Benvolio and baby Tybalt nap together, A grown up Mercutio and a grown up Benvolio (Art by @lulii999)

When Tybalt was around 6 years of age, his older brothers who are now 10 and 12 years old, invited him to play with them for the first time. He excitedly followed them to the docks where they managed to trap him in a fishing net and throw him onto a small fishing boat. Unable to escape the rope, the ship left port leaving Tybalt alone, trapped and afraid. He managed to survive the two day journey and the fishing boat arrived in the port of the capital city, Santiados. When the boat made port, Tybalt made a run for it. He was lost and confused, but managed to survive by stealing food, avoiding the other Half-Orc kids that lived on the streets and sleeping in a barrel at night. Unable to find a way back home, and at this point thinking that perhaps his family didn’t want him anymore, Tybalt stayed living on the streets for 6 years.

ON THE STREETS

During his time on the streets, when Tybalt was around 10 years old, he got into an altercation with an older Half-Orc boy who was picking on him. In a rage Tybalt pushed the teenager away from him, causing the boy to slip and stumble down a flight of stairs, cracking his head. When the other Half-Orcs saw that Tybalt had killed this kid, he became infamous and reveared among the Half-Orc street gangs. All Tybalt wanted to do was stay out of it.

A NEW FAMILY

At the age of 12 Tybalt decided to break into one of the larger merchant estates in the capital, thinking that he’d be able to steal a good amount of things from within. While rummaging through the mansion’s pantry, he was discovered by the family's 10 year old son, Romeo Montague, a human boy with bright blue eyes and blonde hair.

Tybalt threatened that he was going to hurt the kid if he came any closer, and instead Romeo suggested that if he is looking for food he should take the biscuits that they have at the back of the pantry. Tybalt hesitantly went further into the pantry to grab the biscuits, giving Romeo enough time to push the doors closed and lock him inside. Romeo immediately ran upstairs and called his parents to come down and see the kid in the pantry, his parents definitely thought he was making up some kind of imaginary friend until they heard angry yelling from behind the doors in the kitchen.

Eventually the couple, Lorenzo and Helena Montague, sat Tybalt down and asked him about himself and why he was stealing from their pantry. With a bit of probing he told them that he lived on the streets and almost against his will Tybalt was given a bedroom to stay in and one day turned into a week. Before long Tybalt had a new family.

Lorenzo and Helena Montague (Art by me)

Teenage Romeo Montague (Art by me)

Growing up with his first ever friend, Romeo and Tybalt would get up to so many things together. They would spend their time pulling pranks, running away from lessons and throwing their tabaxi friend Antonio (Against his will) off the balcony to see him land on his feet (The tabaxi friend’s full name is Antonio Banderas).

During their teenage years, Tybalt realised that his feelings for Romeo were beyond friendship and he developed a very deep, long standing crush for his best friend. He’d write poems and songs about his angst, about how much he loved him and how he was always chasing girls and never looked at him that way.

Adult Romeo Montague and Antonio Banderas (Art by @lulii999)

A TERRIBLE STORM

By the time Tybalt was 21 and Romeo was 19, Romeo had started working for the family business in the merchant trade and Tybalt worked full time as his personal bodyguard and right hand man. Things took a turn for the worse when they sailed out to a business meeting with a man called Lord Magnus Kraus, an extremely well known merchant sailor in charge of an armada of sailors known as the Magdolina.

As Magnus controls a large portion of the trade routes between certain ports, it was vital that Romeo secure this business deal in order for the Montagues to open up further trade. During the times negotiations seemed to be going poorly, Tybalt was starting to be very wary of the way that Magnus was looking at Romeo. It was like he was some kind of creature in an exhibit, and in a way that was extremely sinister and sexual. As Romeo appeared to be completely oblivious to this Tybalt confronted Magnus alone and threatened him.

Magnus was curious about Tybalt, and offered a deal, if Tybalt agreed to sleep with him, he would agree to the trade deal and he wouldn’t lay a hand on Romeo. Tybalt was stuck in an awful situation, he knew that if he refused Romeo could be in danger and the trade deal would completely fall apart. Magnus Kraus is an extremely powerful man and one bad word from him could run their whole business into the ground. He agreed, and the next night he showed up at Magnus’s quarters.

That night Magnus sexually assaulted him and treated him more like a beast than a person, using ropes to restrain him and whips to beat him with. Calling him awful things and breaking him both physically and mentally. There was terrible thunder and lightning that night, and from this day on Tybalt has a fear of storms as it always reminds him of Magnus. When Tybalt thought it was over, Magnus ordered him to come again tomorrow night or the deal was off.

Terrified, beaten and bruised, Tybalt did just that and the ordeal continued every night for the next week. He even lied to Romeo that he was going to do extra work for the Magdolina so Magnus could get Tybalt alone on his ship for another 2 weeks. When all of this was done Tybalt returned back to the Montagues and swore he’d never tell a soul what he’d been through. The new trade routes were going extremely well and his parents were over the moon at Romeo and Tybalt's successful trip.

It was shortly after this that Romeo met a beautiful red haired woman called Juliet Capulet, and Tybalt watched the love of his life fall head over heels in love with someone else. Juliet was extremely smart and insightful, early on she could see how Tybalt felt for Romeo. She tried to confront him about it to say she wasn’t sorry for loving Romeo but was sorry about how it was affecting Tybalts feelings, but he continued to deny anything of the sort.

A few years later Romeo and Juliet announced their engagement and asked Tybalt to be their best man. On the night before the wedding, Tybalt couldn’t bear to ruin their day with his own heartbroken feelings. Without saying goodbye or even leaving a note, Tybalt fled Santiados and sailed away to Estredios across the sea.

A SAILOR AT HEART

Heartbroken, and lost, he spent all of his savings on food, alcohol and plent of company. When he was properly broke he hopped on a boat and started working on the open ocean as a sailor.

During his time is Estredios and at sea, Tybalt did what he knew best to escape his heartbreak. He flirted and slept with people to his heart’s content over the next 2 years, learning not to get too close with people to keep his heart safe. He made a few good sailor friends who managed to pull him out of his darkest times and allowed him to enjoy his time on the seas. His memories of his time on the ocean are some of his favourite, although it was tough work at times Tybalt felt truly at peace when he was aboard a ship.

Wanting to explore beyond the sea, his escapades eventually lead him to arrive at the docks of Finras, a port town on the coast of the continent of Iona. And it was there in a tavern where he picked up a job to help find a dwarven woman’s missing father, and that’s where his adventure with the party began…..

Thank you so much for reading Tybalt’s backstory! I’ve been playing this dnd character for over a year now and he means so much to me. If you have any further questions feel free to send me an ask! I’d love to answer them.

#dnd #Dungeons and Dragons #dnd character #d&d #dungeons & dragons #dnd character backstory #backstory #dnd backstory #Tybalt Montague #Tybalt #my art #pigeon princess

273 notes · View notes

cr4yolaas · 3 years

Text

— diluc dating hcs / drabbles ( ? )

warnings . ( subtle - ish ) diluc backstory spoilers

genre . bulleted ( ? ) headcanons , fluff mixed with angst

note . bye i was supposed to write a chishiya one but my brain is dry of chishiya hcs 🤕🤕🤕🤕 forgive me aib followers . but like . this one has sm more detail than the childe one . my small burst of romantic inspo popped off

. being with diluc was difficult to an extent — it took you a bit of time and dedication to break through his heart of hardened clay , stone cold to the touch , but it was worth it in the end . the small pecks he places on your glowing skin whenever he's given the chance , rough fingers massaging your heavy bones into sleep , the words of comfort he sends your way , its all worth it.

. if someone asked him to describe you , he'd be rambling on for who knows how long . he says that multilingual poems seep from your flesh , your body crafted of the finest porcelain . diluc can capture it all in one sentence , however . he believes that if the devil were to come down before you , he'd kiss your eyelids and apologize for his sins , for in those fiery eyes that burned with an unmatched crimson , he saw you as otherworldly .

. he much prefers the early mornings spent with you over the midnight meet ups right before he's off to do his duties as the " darknight hero . " diluc adores watching the sunrise crawling on the horizon , bleeding through the curtains , and eventually , kissing against your delicate form as you awaken to the red - head's features . he wishes moments like these could last just a second longer than usual — he finds the thought selfish , but alas , he cannot hold himself back .

. trust and love is a concept that he often has troubles with . with the betrayal of the one he considered his brother and the loss of the one he admired oh so dearly , he's become hardened , a statue with dust in every crack and crevice , turning his back against the world so he wouldn't lose himself to a moment of vulnerability . even though you've carved through his barriers and made a place in his fragmented heart , he finds these troubles carrying into your relationship , and he absolutely loathes it . every now and then , there's that hint of wariness laced in his usually soft gaze , his voice dull yet piercing as his syllables reek of uninterest and slight distrust . he hopes you understand — the last thing he wants to do is hurt you .

. on days in which you stop by the tavern while he works , he finds himself being a bit more productive than usual . your mere presence seems to lift him up , distracting him from the overwhelming drunkards that fill the building . even if you're just sitting there , reading away at whatever book has caught your interest or the paperwork you've been tasked with , he can't help but smile .

. the maids at the winery have grown fond of you and your relationship with master diluc . the cotton - crafted smile you wear becomes rather contagious . truth be told , diluc is more than grateful for this . he's glad to know that if he can't assist you , there are most definitely others who can .

. night is but a stressful time for the man . as he returns home , his hands riddled with sweat and disarray , he collapses into the couch placed near the fireplace . he takes note of the spare plate of food you always leave for him on the table , a small note attached right beside . and once he gets the energy , he calls out for you , falling asleep at your touch as you comb through his tangled locks .

. dates aren't the most common , what with his busy schedule and your daily work . however , when he's given the chance to take you out , he goes all out . often times , he'll take you to starsnatch cliff , a blanket and picnic basket prepared at the top , cecilias scattered across the grass . if there ever comes a missed date opportunity , he'll often settle for a small gift , ranging from pretty stones he found on his travels to jewelry that he bought while on a trip to liyue .

#help these were a lot less like hcs LMAO m sorry i got carried away #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact fic #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact hcs #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact diluc #genshin diluc #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #diluc x y/n

147 notes · View notes

mrpenguinpants-alter-ego · 3 years

Text

Kaeya: Comfort HCs

Hi, new side blog until tumblr get’s fixed. Yes I know this is a double re-post but I don’t think this one made it into tags. Hopefully and I pray with all my heart, this works. Please see my pinned post for further details

WOW IF THE TIMING OF THIS ASK ISN’T SPOT ON BECAUSE GOD DO I NEED COMFORT. Childe won’t come home and I’ve never been this hollow before ;-; I suck at writing Kaeya but Cryo boy please.

I try to keep these gender-neutral and only use “you” as the “pronoun” but if I happen to slip up, please let me know 💕

Kaeya: Comfort HCs

The Ludi Harpastum was a festival that Mondstadt celebrated every year. A full 15 days of games for children to enjoy with carnivals of songs and other excitements. Restaurants would display their finest dishes while taverns, like the Dawn Winery and The Cat’s Tail, would roll out plenty of cider and wine for the adults. Bards from all over Teyvat would come to sing their wonderful poems, indulge in liveliness that was Mondstadt during these 15 days. So why did you seem so down lately? It was a question the Calvary Captain pondered as he saw you shuffle away from the festivities.

Were you overworked perhaps? Jean had been running around trying to prepare for the festival but even she had a smile on, excited for the Ludi Harpastum and what was to come. Though, in your defense, Jean was just that kind of person. He had noticed that you looked more and more out of it as the days passed. As if you were going through the motions from trying to appease the children to helping out wherever you could. He quickly racked his brain for any signs that something was wrong leading up to the festival, but he couldn’t recall anything specific. He sent a small mental apology to Jean and the other knights but his attention was on something more important now.

At first, he’ll take his approach discretely. If it’s just nerves from getting the festival sorted out then it’s not something he needs to sit you down and talk you through. That might just add more to your stress if you knew how worried he got. He’ll slip a couple check ins with you to see how you’re faring outside of the public eye, or making sure that your work load is manageable, anything to maybe ease whatever it was that was getting you down. If it is just nerves he’ll gently but jokingly let you know that if you have any troubles you can always come to him. If you remark that everything that you needed to do for the festival was already taken care of he’ll laugh it off. Jean sure is working hard huh?

If it really does seem that you’re slipping apart and leaving you to your own devices is not helping you, his worry for you overtakes his professional role of boundaries and he’ll confront you. Not as the Calvary Captain making sure the festival goes smoothly but as Kaeya whose is concerned for your safety and health. If you don’t want to get into specific’s that’s all right with him, just so long as you aren’t alone with your thoughts. He’ll initiate by gently lacing your fingers together and but then it’s up to you on how you want things to go.

During the day, the Captain side of him will appear laid back and fondly tease you. Anything to see you smile or even lightly embarrass you. But at night when it’s just the two of you together, you’ll both settle into the quiet atmosphere but he’ll hold you just a little tighter. Spend just a second longer in your embrace. All silent cues that you mean a lot to him.

If Jean or Amber asks where he’s been lately he’ll gladly tell a bald-faced lie. Making remarks that a couple of pyro slimes seemed to get into the wine barrels and made it their home. Amber is suspicious of him but he’s the Calvary Captain so she’ll let it go but she’s watching him. Jean is concerned but he’ll wave it off and give a small nod towards your form in the distance. She immediately understands and if you or him need anything to let her know. Really, Jean works way too hard.

He won’t pry, everyone has their own secrets and issues, plus on the very slim chance you find out he was digging into your business, you might never trust him again. You never bothered him with his origins or his methods so it’s only fair he does the same to you. While he likes tricking and putting other’s in danger to justify the means, you’re someone important to him. He’ll only do something like that if it’s to ensure your safety or you’re pushed to the breaking limit. You might hate him for looking through your privacy but at the end of the day, if it makes you happier he’ll do it.

He’ll leave little signs that he’s concerned for you and that he’s here if you need him. If you’ve been sleeping more often, be it from overwork or sadness, you’ll wake up with a white fur cloak wrapped around you. He’ll make up some joke that a cat snagged it off him, and it just happened to climb in through your window, snuggled up to you, and than ran away without the cloak. That’s just how funny nature works. Cats sure are tricky things huh?

If you’re reaching break point he will corner you and ask what’s wrong. You might brush him off or get mad at him in the morning but Kaeya believes that the end justifies the means. He knows that somethings you just want to deal with alone, his entire backstory and family issues are like that, but it pains him deep inside to see you so upset. He doesn’t want to feel that same helplessness again, especially to someone he cares deeply about, so he’ll do anything in his power to ease your heart.

While he prefers to do things independently if it’s something he can’t help with, he’ll take Jean up on her offer. Just to check up on you and see if her calming presence is enough to make you feel calm just for a moment. When he does see you slowly start to get better it makes him happy. He might get a bit more affectionate but really he’s just relieved that you’re alright now.

288 notes · View notes

sword-dad-fukuzawa · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on Chuuya’s Character Song

I was going to do Atsushi’s next, but I figured I may as well do soukoku together. Also, this is really fucking hard with a hilariously limited understanding of Japanese and trying to cross reference poem translations with song lyrics, my god. Complaining now out of the way, this song is half as depressing as Dazai’s and twice as sexy, so buckle up, y’all. It’s a long one :p

No matter what kind of cliched game it is, I'll play until the end But I won't be satisfied with a scenario by a third-rate writer

Ah, an opening line that fits Chuuya to a tee. So, I figure he’s opening with the acknowledgement that many of the people he knows likes to treat him like a chess piece--namely, his boss and Dazai. He knows he’s just a player in the schemes of others, but he doesn’t particularly care about the fact that he’s being jerked around as long as it’s for some greater purpose. His tone seems to indicate that he resents this, at least a little, but his fiery dismissal says that it doesn’t matter to him in the end.

GOOD BYE, tainted clothes are no longer to be worn I simply wanted a way to kill time

Alright, multiple ways to interpret this bit. Goodbye in english, and a reference to the poem his ability is named after with “tainted”. The argument could be made he’s referring to Dazai, considering the title and references made in Dazai’s character song.

I’d actually argue he’s talking about the Sheep. It feels like he’s casting off his past with that organization, dismissing them with the words that they weren’t really important to him--just a way to kill time, even though we know that their betrayal cut him deeply. And it’s why he’s saying goodbye, and dismissing them as a part of his past. It’s an interesting parallel to the way Dazai talks about Chuuya himself in his own song, because the both of them have pasts that they’re trying to run from.

'In languor dreams of death' ... who was the one that said it?

That would be you, Chuuya. At least IRL Chuuya, in his very fancy poem “For the Tainted Sorrow”. But why this line?

I’ve puzzled it over for a while, but I don’t have a conclusion. Interesting that he opens with talking about death, though, considering how he brushes up against it almost every day by nature of his job.

The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison

This part is also oddly reminiscent of Dazai’s song. Chuuya’s saying that he feels trapped, like a bird in a cage that no longer interests him at all, and that he can’t escape no matter how much he laments. Which is an interesting translation choice, considering his Sheep Song poem can also be translated as “Lament of the Lamb” (though the words themselves in Japanese differ, so I can’t call this an actual reference).

BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY) Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances

But Chuuya doesn’t care. So what if he’s trapped? So what if escape is impossible? He’s still alive, he’s still holding it together. So he brushes it off as something that doesn’t really impact him much. This song seems very much like a massive middle finger to the shitty cards he’s been dealt. Chuuya’s saying that despite it all, he’s still going to turn the world upside down.

Part of me thinks the reference to the hat is a Rimbaud reference, since he got the hat from Rimbaud and it originally belonged to Verlaine. I feel like this is Chuuya acknowledging how those two people have influenced him, which...we don’t know about yet, as his backstory is still mostly unexplored.

Even if I get tired of the night and tear off my shackles That eye who sees eye to eye with Kierkegaard is also here

This is Chuuya saying that if he gets tired of the Port Mafia (remember, the night is the PM’s domain) there’s still someone who will make sure he can’t leave. After some googling, I’ve realized Kierkegaard is a Danish poet. But who is Chuuya referencing, who sees eye to eye with Kierkegaard? I’m pretty sure it’s Mori, but the JSTOR article I made an account for is 45 pages long and I’m working my way through it slowly. I’ll get back to y’all on this bit, but for now, I’m 90% sure this is Mori.

WOW OH [The best view worth more than a ten-billion masterpiece...] Let's stop messing around already

Ah, Chuuya, always ready for a fight. And this is definitely a reference to Dazai. This is what he says when he sees Dazai for the first time in four years, coming down the stairs to see his old enemy/friend/partner chained to the wall. If you need a memory refresh, it’s the scene where Dazai says “✨CHUUYA!✨”

Why, of all people... is the KEY CASE in that person's hand? In the moment we clashed, the one in control is me I will manipulate even the weight of this cut-short life

Who is “that person”? I’d hazard a guess that it’s Dazai, considering the previous line. The first line is him lamenting that Dazai seems to always have the answers, always to hold the key. But the next part is Chuuya reasserting his control. It’s Chuuya, fiercely defiant to the end, flipping another middle finger to the guy who keeps coming into his life to turn it upside down. Even his own mortality doesn’t faze him in the least. To Chuuya, it’s another obstacle to overcome.

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

Chuuya, I love you, but why so many goddamn metaphors? Let’s break this down.

Firstly, there’s a swap from “darkness my sorrow” to “lonely darkness my sorrow”. Ignoring the key part for now, we can look at the second line where he says he’d rather fall then be alone again. I think this is a part of his trauma from how he was alone, with Arahabaki/as Arahabaki, for so many years. Chuuya very deliberately surrounds himself with people--first the Sheep, then the PM. He hates to be alone. And it’s an interesting counterpoint to Dazai, who always feels alone regardless of who he’s with by sheer virtue of how isolated his brain makes him feel.

Secondly, the cage metaphor. So the cage from earlier also seems to double as a metaphor for Chuuya himself, which makes sense. He’s technically a vessel for Arahabaki, and so inner conflict has been a part of his identity from the beginning. So once someone (possibly Dazai, possibly Mori, possibly even Rimbaud if you want to focus on how Rimbaud freed Arahabaki) frees him, it’s like he destroys the things that are holding him back. And he’s fine with that.

I’ll address the themes of destruction and the repeated screaming of “GRAVITYYYYY” at the end.

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black

Again, this is Chuuya brushing away his limitations. He’s still going to fight in spite of it all. He’s very goal oriented, liking to take action more than sitting back and thinking about it.

The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY) Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

And then this bit is just a repeated part, nothing new here. So, a few concluding things.

Firstly, Chuuya and Dazai sing about each other very differently. Chuuya seems to be almost nostalgic about Dazai. But Dazai rejects him entirely in his own song, and it’s an interesting counterpoint.

Secondly, the repeated themes of destruction and fighting. It’s honestly all Chuuya’s ever known, and the thing he’s best at. At this point, it’s a part of his identity, so it makes sense that it’s in his song.

Third, and this part interests me the most. Chuuya’s ability is gravity manipulation, right? And gravity is an attractive force that draws objects to things with the greatest mass. I just feel it’s kind of fitting, that Chuuya--terribly scared of being alone--has a power that brings people towards him.

Just a thought.

207 notes · View notes

kuroopaisen · 4 years

Text

imitheos. (oikawa tooru)

➵ oikawa barely recognises the god he used to be.

wc: 3.8k

warnings: gn!reader, greek god au, melancholia? angst? is that something to warn people about?

a/n: so this got away from me, and ended up half a character study, but,,, @kacchand (sorry for tagging this one but i couldn’t tag @kacchand-archive aa) thank you so much for the warm, lovely things you’ve said to me ever since stumbling across my blog, and for complimenting my oikawa specifically. it’s those sorts of compliments that makes me feel all soft!

Oikawa Tooru. He’s still not sure of the name. He never chooses them himself; they come to him, quite naturally, each time he assumes a new form. Each time he knits himself a backstory, he wonders what this life will bring. If it will be better than the last.

He hasn’t always been Oikawa Tooru. He’s been many other forms littered throughout history, recycling the same ego. And before each of those, he was Apollo.

Apollo had been a god amongst gods, deity of so much and so many. He could absolve men of guilt, gift mortals with the power of prophecy, balance their lives in his hands as he commanded the fate of their crops. Even the gods feared him, loved him, revered him.

But he is no longer Apollo. He is a whisper of him, a half-forgotten shadow.

His old name is everywhere. Rocket ships, theatres, philosophical concepts. He’s watched countless effigies to his old self shoot themselves into the sky, chasing a distance once thought unreachable. They always seem to take the light with them, blazing into the darkness.

But Apollo is just a name, now. Everything he used to symbolise seems to pass through him like white smoke.

It’s so hard to find the light in this endless winter.

Archery is just a niche hobby, now. Wars are won through other means.

Disease and the means to combat it are far past his sphere of influence now. Both continue to take on new and frightening forms that even he couldn’t conjure.

There is no space in this world for prophecy anymore. Such things are considered untruths, the trade of hackneyed swindlers masquerading as fortune tellers.

But poetry. Poetry refuses to die.

Sunday afternoon. The sky is already dark. Slam poetry night at a dingy little coffee shop. He’s sat in his usual spot, a dark corner that grants him a clear view of the makeshift stage at the back of the shop. It’s the best spot to melt away into, to become a true observer.

He’s not sure why he’s come here. The coffee itself isn’t particularly good, nor is the atmosphere of the place much to his liking. It’s a little dingy, reliant on weak oil lamps for light. He knows that it’s supposed to give off a retro vibe, but he thinks it just makes it miserable. There’s the smell of musk too, permeated through both wood and cushion.

But something is drawing him to this place. Something, beating against the fabric of the universe, is telling him that this is where he’s supposed to be.

He still doesn’t know why.

You smile at him from across the room, giving him a small wave. You usually work Sunday afternoons, right until close. He isn’t sure of your name, and usually, he wouldn’t care.

But every Sunday, you seem to take it upon yourself to fulfil his orders. Once upon a time, he would’ve been sure that it was his charm that induced you to do so; mortals often found it hard to resist the gods, after all. But he’s not so sure he can still claim that allure.

“You’re becoming a bit of a regular,” you smile, setting his drink down in front of him. Something made with honey, but he’s not sure what. He never pays much attention when he orders.

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“You’re always here on Sundays,” you nod, daring to meet his gaze. “But you’ve never performed yourself.”

Oikawa smiles. One person, at the very least, has noticed his existence. That’s as powerful as a prayer these days.

“I take it you’re a fan,” you remark, eyes scanning his face.

Oikawa nods. “You could say that.”

You smile. It’s small, and he wonders if it’s merely a nicety. “Of slam poetry in particular, or…”

Ah. Yes.

He wants to say it’s because he’s tired of typical poetry. Tired of all its embellishments and platitudes. Slam poetry is newer, younger, angrier. There’s a rawness to it, a rage that speaks to something more visceral in him. Pretty words are not enough anymore.

It’s an offering of something else, of a yearning he still struggles to place. It’s a call for something better, for change, for vindication.

But he won’t bore you with that. You’re just a waiter, making small talk to be polite.

“My preferences change often,” he shrugs.

He appraises you for a moment, clad in a button-up shirt and dress trousers, a charmingly small apron wrapped around your waist. He’s not paid you much mind before; maybe because he’s been looking too hard.

He once thought that this café was drawing him towards a modern muse, an echo of Melpomene. Or perhaps Erato? But it hadn’t been that at all. It had been a call to draw him to you.

For what, he can’t say. But this small moment, this little recognition in the back of a dingy coffee shop on a dour Sunday afternoon in the midst of winter, is the closest he’s felt to worship in aeons.

He fears, for a moment, that you might be Daphne. Or maybe Marpessa. He’s already lost another Hyacinth; not to death, but to the rhythm of life. The pull of a world to which Oikawa couldn’t follow. How long had it been since Hajime left?

Oikawa can’t say.

But he’s been so lonely. So faded.

Whoever you are, whoever you were, does not matter.

What matters is that you’re the first person in a very long time who can see him.

☉ ☉ ☉

“Back again,” you smile. Another drink with honey is placed in front of him. It’s the only thing he’s been ordering for the past few weeks.

He nods, looking up at you with a smile. He knows it’s dead behind the eyes, but he’s trying. He hopes, quietly, that the darkness will mask it.

“You must really enjoy the poetry,” you remark, looking over your shoulder.

One girl has just finished, face flushed with both nervousness and pride. She is young, perhaps barely seventeen, but with the fury of someone who knows too much about the horrors of the world. She’d done quite well by Oikawa’s account. He hadn’t derived much joy from it, but she certainly has potential.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, taking a sip of his drink.

“Do you prefer more…” You pause, brow furrowed as you search for the words. “Traditional poetry?”

Oikawa shakes his head.

Perhaps his tastes would err more to the modern, if he knew more about it. But the fact of the matter is that he simply doesn’t have a clue. Too much time spent with volleyball preoccupying most of his thoughts, and very little time keeping up with the artistic scene of the last decade and a half.

He can’t speak as an expert. But he can speak as the god who invented poetry, who gave mortals the means with which to express their magnitudes. A gift, he’d said. To turn the human experience into something beautiful. But was it for them, or for him?

“The anger is sincere,” he muses, “And they all seem to have poured their soul into their poems.”

You nod, smiling at him. “I wish I was that creative, at their age.”

He looks at you. You look about the same age he should be; twenty-something, maybe? Young, perhaps still in university.

You’ve been spending your breaks with him for a few weeks now.

He doesn’t mind; in fact, he enjoys the company. And, you seem to care about what he has to say, which certainly fluffs his ego.

Why you would care so much about an odd, discreet man sitting in a dark corner of a coffee shop is beyond him.

But he wants to know why. Know more about you. What you love. What you desire.

“What do you want to do with your life?”

The question is sudden, perhaps a bit invasive. It flies from his lips before he has time to reassess it, to craft it into something a bit less intense. He fears, for a moment, that it might scare you – that it might be a bit too much.

But you laugh, tilting your head at him. “That’s a bit of a big question, don’t you think?”

He smiles. “You must have some idea.”

You sigh, shrugging. “I’m not sure, to be honest. I need to survive university before I can start worrying about that sort of stuff.”

He hums.

“What about you?” You ask, polite smile gracing your lips.

He bites the inside of his cheek, his brows creasing. “Not sure.”

He might have dreamed of greatness a while ago. He would’ve chased volleyball, brilliant and vibrant as he was.

Who would have thought that Apollo would find his heart in something so coarse as sport? For a moment, however brief, he’d felt like he might be able to shrug off this immortal shackle. To exist for himself, and not as a mere echo reliant on mortal belief. To maybe, finally, have a chance to live as he wanted to, dictated by his own desires.

That last spark of vibrant humanity had spluttered out the day they lost that one fateful match.

He had wanted to chase his own dreams, the tangible passions he’d discovered as a mortal. He hadn’t wanted to be this, a pathetic half-god that was fading into the grey. But that was the trappings of his dying godhood – a life half-lived, a dream unfulfilled. Where would he be, if he had been able to take on the world as Oikawa Tooru?

Happier, he supposes. Though, he can’t be sure. Because maybe this early evening, grey and cold and bitter, almost tastes like happiness. Almost. And he knows why.

☉ ☉ ☉

There’s a glow to him. He doesn’t notice it; he’s been brighter in the past, blindingly radiant. He was once considered the most beautiful of the gods for a reason.

But to you, this distant, peculiar man is beautiful. There’s something of a fallen giant to him; is he the sort of person whose glory days has long since passed? Had he been a high school hero maybe?

There’s something else to him, too. Something strange. Something esoteric.

You don’t quite know how to explain it.

It’s like he’s asking – no, begging someone to acknowledge him. To breathe new life into him.

And for all his strange, aggressive indifference, there’s a little flame in him. One that seems like it’s been burning for centuries, too stubborn to flicker out.

You haven’t missed how it’s getting brighter.

He only comes in on Sundays, staying from three until eight. If his prolonged presence bothers your co-workers, they don’t mention it.

Perhaps it’s silly to be so fascinated by a complete stranger, especially one that simply sits in a corner and watches. Perhaps it is even sillier to spend your breaks with him. But it’s as if you can’t help yourself; something pulls you towards him, even if you don’t understand it.

“What about the Greeks?” You ask one evening, sitting next to him in his booth.

His smile is bemused at best. “What about them?”

“Well… they’re classics,” you muse, “Are you a fan, or…?”

“Homer can suck my dick,” Oikawa grumbles. He never quite forgave that man for the unflattering portrait of his godliness.

You laugh. There’s an echo of a lyre in it. He wonders, for a moment, what you might look like with a laurel woven through your hair, smiling on a Pierian coast in the height of a blistering summer.

He doesn’t let his mind wander too far.

“I’m not really one for poetry,” you murmur, looking down at your hands.

“Is that so?” Oikawa smiles, taking a sip of his coffee. It’s lukewarm after sitting on the table for so long, but he doesn’t mind.

You shake your head. “I find it difficult to wrap my head around. It makes me feel kind of stupid.”

He nods. He used to understand poetry so well – in the darkest of nights, it was often the only thing he understood. It used to be laced with his very being, threaded through his body like veins. But now, it just fills him with bitterness.

“I like the classics, though,” you smile softly, playing with your fingers. “There’s something about the simplicity and straightforwardness of the language that appeal to me. And, I don’t know…” You bite your lip. “Some emotions seem to transcend time and culture. And some of the classics are so… raw. So… human.”

‘Human.’ He gazes at you, that word in particular playing over in his mind. There’s some truth in the classics, he supposes. Something in them that echoes across the centuries. But he’s been around far too long to care for patterns and parallels.

“Sorry,” you blush, smoothing your apron. “I must be boring you.”

“Not at all.” Oikawa shakes his head, leaning towards you. He takes another sip of his coffee. It’s cold now. “So, you’re a history buff, then?”

Maybe you are Clio, after all.

You shrug. “Only ancient history, really. But I haven’t read as much about it as I should’ve.”

“Are you a fan of the myths?” He asks, a playful lilt to his voice. He knows you won’t get the joke, but he doesn’t mind.

“Some,” you nod. “Why?”

“Know any about Apollo?”

“Apollo?” You smile. His old name sounds like a melody on your lips. “As in the god?”

“Sure.” Who else could he mean?

You pause for a moment, pressing your lips together. It’s a beautiful silence.

“Have you read Plato’s Symposium, by any chance?” You ask, gaze meeting his.

He nods. He doesn’t mind Plato; the man had been grateful for the gift of music, after all.

“There’s a story in it I really like,” you murmur, eyes turning towards the roof. “Well, it’s more of a myth, but… it’s the one about soulmates.”

“Oh?”

“Do you know it?”

“Vaguely.” Of course he knows it. He just wants to hear it retold in your voice.

“Well, alright,” you clear your throat, sitting up a little straighter. “There were three kinds of humans, descended from the sun, the earth and the moon. All had four arms and four legs, two faces, et cetera. But, the gods felt they were too unruly and powerful. By Zeus’ count, this was unacceptable, and he wanted to humble them.”

Oikawa hopes his expression is neutral enough. How is Zeus? Is he still around?

“Instead of simply destroying them, he split them in two,” you continue. “And that made us miserable.”

Your use of the word ‘us’ intrigues him, but he wants to save his questions for later.

“But, Apollo took pity on us,” you smile. “He decided to patch us up, and shape us into, well… the form we have today. The story goes that our navel is where he sewed our broken skin together. But he turned our heads around to what had once been our back, so we’d have to look at that mark as a reminder of our punishment and how incomplete we are.”

It does not matter to him if there is any truth in this story. Regardless, it certainly sounds like the folly of the gods.

“Once we were split, the two halves were flung to the far ends of the earth. From then on, each of us yearns with both body and soul to be reunited with our other half.” Your voice is so lyrical, so comforting. It is, perhaps, the closest thing to music he’s heard in a while. “Those of us who are lucky enough to find them supposedly know no greater joy. We’ll never feel so understood, so complete. Most of us though, will never know that joy.”

Perhaps the gods didn’t deserve the reverence they got. Perhaps they really had been tyrants, all along. But then again, there was little love between gods and mortals; if anything, worship was simply a reflection of the fears the divine inspired.

A new question itches at the back of his mind.

“Do you believe in life after death?” He asks.

You blink at him, eyes wide and round. “Well, I… I don’t know, really.”

He knows it’s a heavy question. He knows that he didn’t prepare you for it, and that it’s only tenuously connected to the conversation at hand. But, he always found that people were at their most honest when they were caught off guard.

“I don’t like thinking about it,” you admit, looking down at your hands. “It makes me all existential.”

Oikawa nods. Most humans react like this.

The relationship between mortals and death has always fascinated him. Fear, loathing, regret. It’s all bundled together. Sometimes, there is comfort. Sometimes, there is a sense of calm. But it is never easy to face the unknown, after such a brief stint of being alive.

It’s something he cannot understand in this existence of his that stretches itself thin across the millenniums.

What is death to a god? He imagines it must be something like relief.

☉ ☉ ☉

“Do you write yourself?” It’s a little question, one he knows was coming.

He doesn’t know how to answer.

You sit next to him in the lamplight, eyes sparkling as they always do. If he was more human, maybe he would compare them to the stars. Or perhaps the ocean after a storm. But he is not human, much less a poet.

How does he say that he’s never needed to? That his patronage, his presence alone was enough to inspire those classics you so dearly love? That he himself has never put lyrics to the human experience?

He has always been a god. There is no beauty to his experience; only in those small pockets of human intimacy he’s been granted across the centuries. There is no beauty to the life of a god – only fire, and fury, and hubris. Even his body is unlike yours; he has no heart, and he bleeds ichor.

“Not really,” he shrugs. It’s all he can say.

“‘Not really’ implies that you write at least a little,” you smile, leaning towards him.

He shakes his head. “I didn’t really have time to do something like that.” He pauses for a moment. Should he tell you? Should he reveal more of himself than is maybe wise? “I played volleyball in high school.”

“Oh, really?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“I was good, too,” he sighs, brow furrowing. “But my team never made it to nationals.”

“Oh.” You look genuinely sad. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. There’s little else to do.

“I wanted to go further,” he admits. The lamplight casts a long shadow on his face, each feature soft and delicate as marble.

Each form, each reiteration, wants more.

So much of what he’s done this time doesn’t echo the traditional Apollonian figure. There is no art, this time. No song.

There was drama in sport, but it was different. It had filled him with a passion he’d never felt before, beating in his chest just like a heart would. It provided that rush of adrenaline, the brutal awareness of the importance of just one moment. Eternity stretches on forever for a god, but a game must end. Perhaps, in some way, death is very much the same.

He wants that closure. That passion for the now.

Now, more than ever before, he wants to be mortal. To lose himself in the storm that is being human – he wants it all. He wants to let go of the god he no longer is.

Where does Apollo end? Where does Oikawa Tooru begin?

☉ ☉ ☉

Time is passing again. Each day is over before it’s even begun, slipping through his fingers like a lucid dream. A heartbeat that isn’t his own thrums in his ears, quick and loud and frantic.

And yet, he finds himself outside the coffee shop, standing on the curb. You’re next to him, hands dug deep in your pockets. He’s arrived earlier than usual, catching you right at the beginning of your shift.

There’s something he wants – no, needs to say. Something that can’t wait.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, looking up at the sky. It’s pale, a shade found in-between blue and grey. A perfect winter sky, one you might find on a postcard trying to capture the beauty of the season.

Something is pressing on his chest, heavy and immovable. It feels like a goodbye.

“What for?” You laugh. It really is a delightful sound.

Where to begin? You couldn’t possibly comprehend it. Nor would you believe him. If he speaks too frankly, you may not remember him fondly.

“For the coffee,” he says.

There’s more he wants to say. Something about how, maybe, in another life, there could have been something more between the two of you. Something quite beautiful.

But he knows it’s wiser not to speak that into being. If you feel even a modicum of these emotions, then silence would be an act of kindness.

“Are you… going somewhere?” You ask, all signs of levity gone from your face. He regrets speaking at all now.

“Something like that,” he murmurs. It’s the closest he can get to the truth.

A long silence ensues. Oikawa doesn’t know if he should try to fill it; perhaps he should just let it sit for a while? To enjoy this little moment with you, standing with you in front of a dingy coffee shop on a dour Sunday night in the midst of winter.

Because this moment cannot last. Because nothing can.

“Well,” you clear your throat, eyes lingering on his face, as if you’re committing each detail to memory.

He smiles at you. He’s not aware of it, but it’s almost blinding. It brings a warmth to his face that you’ve never seen before, a warmth that makes him so striking, so beautiful, that you know you won’t be able to find the words to praise it.

“I hope I’ll see you again,” you murmur. It’s the best you can manage, keeping your feelings in your heart as best you can.

“Me too.”

He means it.

It’s time to go. Where, he’s not sure. But, with all the courage he could muster, he turns his back to you, making his way down the street.

There’s a space in his heart for fear. But it’s empty. Whatever’s coming, whatever’s about to change – he’s ready for it.

He welcomes it.

☉ ☉ ☉

He opens his eyes. He’s tangled in blankets; his own, or someone else’s?

One thought.

My name is Oikawa Tooru.

In the haze of a Sunday morning, he knows nothing else. His eyes flick to the blinds as they flutter with the wind that whispers through his window.

The light floods in.

It’s finally spring.

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru imagine #haikyuucreations #this was a labour of love #it's different from my usual style but i enjoyed it

263 notes · View notes