(Spoilers for the Light Novel)

This may have been the subject of so many essays already, but I really, really like how subtle Maomao's feelings are in the Light Novel.

She denies her own capacity for love, but she becomes her own enemy as her actions and thoughts often betray her feelings.

This becomes evident in her own monologue with Yao and En'en vs her anger with Jinshi over his self-branding:

Plus that instant reaction from her when he insisted on doing more self-harm:

Although there is mention in Vol. 12 of how he brings her comfort and/or reassurance, it's also quite amusing how often she'd done things that otherwise she would never do just because of him. There is that one time she gave a piece of her mind in Volume 7, and it surprised her just how many words were coming out of her mouth (lol). There's also that time when she examined Jinshi despite the Emperor's raging anger:

As well as that moment after "rejuvenating" him, when she kissed him on the cheek and sang a children's hymn (which mystified her after):

There is also the constant worry about his health, even when she herself is exhausted:

It's also quite funny how often Jinshi pops up in Maomao's thoughts—he's literally living in her mind. Like she was looking at paintings of beautiful women, a random thought of Jinshi flitted right in. Or when she was preparing for an operation, the passing thought of Jinshi's own medical misadventures slipped through her mind. The instances are too many to cite lol.

These are of course just little moments, but they paint the picture that the feelings are there and it grew—despite her insistence to the contrary.

🎀🧺🩰

an indulgent bkdk from the light novel ☃️

I love this art by Touco Shino (The Apothecary Diaries LN artist) with Maomao playing Go.

It reminds me of THEM

I'm too weak for this whole plot.

The Apothecary Diaries Light Novel 13 SPOILER

I love how in the night visit chapter, when Jinshi rejects sleeping with Maomao because he worried she could become pregnant even with contraceptives, she leaves mumbling "even though I know other things to do besides the actual thing" and he doesn't hear because he's so lost in his own thoughts😂 it's so on brand for them and reminds me of this bonus comic

my favorite overthinking boyfailure fumbling the bag all the time is one of my favorite things

"Lan Zhan, look at me, look at me now!"

Just like before, Wei Wuxian called his name with a grin, and he looked over as well.

From then on, he could never move his eyes away again.

// art by 백업용 on Twitter in 2020

Extra Soratori fluff (Otherside Picnic)

meanwhile jinshi:

bonus ✨

I love them 💕 Jinshi so cuteee

oh, so this is the terrifying Yiling Patriarch? The Grandmaster of demonic cultivation? And the Infamous Ghost General? I see....

They're more like Yiling Sweetheart and Cutie Pie General.

When you learn that Jinshi and Maomao only have an one year age difference

(Spoilers for LN Vol. 15)

Official translation for Vol. 15 has yet to be released, but Maomao asking Jinshi to not be the emperor has got to be one of the sweetest things she ever said to him.

Basically if Jinshi becomes emperor, he will (1) die an early death and (2) be separated from Maomao (as he doesn't want her to bear the troublesome role of empress).

Maomao asking him to not be the emperor is basically her saying 'I don't want you to die' and 'I want us to be together'.

Help, please, I'm dying! 🤣 In one of the Demon Slayer light novel "Kimetsu Academy" chapters, it's mentioned that they once did a school-wide survey to find out who everyone's favorite teachers were. Rengoku Kyōjurō was voted the most popular teacher in the school (because of course), but just look at what some of the survey participants said (direct quotes):

"I hope he's always so young, hot, and strong."

"Those muscular arms bursting from the rolled-up sleeves of his button-up shirt slay me."

"I want to be the pin on his necktie."

These kids need to calm down! 🤣 Out here in broad daylight, for everyone to see, in a 9 AM history class... 😭

I'm actually obsessed with him, I've been drawing him so much in my sketchbook as of late

He's my pretty princess fr🤭

I've only read the 7th Time Loop manga so I'm currently reading the novel. I'm on volume 2 right now AND THIS PART!!!

THE METAPHOR!!!! THE FREAKING METAPHOR!!!!

(Also look at the art it's so pretty)

Some thoughts on JinMao in The Apothecary Diaries LN (spoilers)

I love how Maomao's love for Jinshi is written in the Light Novel. She's an unreliable narrator and can't put a name on what she feels for a long time and heck, for the most time she doesn't even want to. The beginning of volume 6 showing this perfectly when she didn't want to leave Jinshi's hair stick behind, carried it with her and when she slept, she kept it near her chest because she didn't want to have it anywhere where she could see it. The symbolism *chef kiss* (she doesn't want to face her feelings but also still carries them close to her chest)

She purposely chooses to avoid thinking about any potential feelings for Jinshi and at the end of the same volume it's also stated that she does have some kind of affection for him that she can't yet put into words.

For readers, it's easy to view Maomao's avoidant attitude as disinterest. Even more so paired with how she doesn't seem to ever be nervous around Jinshi. But really, we don't need blushy nervous Maomao to understand what she's feeling. Her feelings come to show everytime she worries about Jinshi's well being and goes out of her way to get him to eat and rest, takes time of her own day to make sure that he's well.

When at the beginning, she always considered him bringing all these tasks to her as bothersome. Maomao just wanted to experiment with poison and make medicine, she didn't want to spend time on anything else, really.

Then, in volume 9 she's even willing to give up her agency if it meant helping ease his burdens.

Maomao, miss "I don't want to have anything to do with this, this is bothersome" tells him to use all of her. Use her until she falls apart. (while kabedoning him, love Maomao being an absolute girlboss even when she tells him to use her)

She's worried by his selflessness. How he's unable to use other people to reach his goals and shoulders everything on his own, wanting to save everyone. Maomao gets upset by it and worries he'd never get anything in return and become as luckless in life as her adoptive father. Who carries the same selflessness and kindness.

I don't think we talk enough about how much it means for Maomao to get to a point where she would rather get used by Jinshi than to see him exhaust himself.

This whole scene afterwards is just..generally really heartwarming honestly.

(Volume 9 Chapter 20)

Her hands went to Jinshi’s cheek. “You’re only human, Master Jinshi. You’re not some mythical immortal who can save everyone.” She held his face in her hands, the fingers of her left hand brushing his scar. “You can be wounded, scarred, brought low. Only human.”

Who was she talking to? She knew Jinshi was standing in front of her, but for some reason she kept seeing Luomen’s face.

No wonder I’m so upset. The principle that drove Jinshi’s behavior seemed very similar to Luomen’s. She was afraid that if he went on like this, he would end up just as luckless in life as her old man. Just like Pops... He’d spent himself trying to rescue everyone and everything. Like a fool. He should have wanted more, been greedier, but instead he’d suffered his fate patiently. Suffered and suffered, and for what? To become an old man resigned to his empty hands. This was, it was fair to say, Maomao’s one criticism of her father. She’d felt it keenly in the affair with the Shaonese shrine maiden. She respected Luomen immensely. A man who never lost his kindness no matter what unhappiness he encountered was like a miracle. The price, though, was that his body and his heart were both battered. In time he became so that everything he did, he did in the expectation of defeat. Would Jinshi end up like him one day? Or— “Please, please don’t go doing anything else like burning a brand into your skin,” Maomao said. “I heard you...the first several times,” Jinshi replied. “Are you sure?” A smile flitted across Maomao’s face, and she slowly pulled her hands away.