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auronira · 23 days

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Being someone who is allo (just learned about the existance of this word) and cis, I want to talk about the hot topic of Alastor being shipped romantically and sexually by the fandom of Hazbin Hotel.

I understand that the topic I'm about to delve into may require some patience and open-mindedness. As a young individual seeking understanding, I implore you to hear me out before forming any judgments. English isn't my first language, so I apologize if my expressions seem weird, also it may take a while to get what I am saying here, I took a lot of time to get my point across so please give me a little bit of your time - especially if you are aroace or anywhere among that spectrum.

First of all, being cis and allo is obviously one of the most comfortable shoes you can wear within society. I am aware of that.

For instance, as someone who enjoys immersing myself in various forms of media such as books, movies, and video games, I often find characters and narratives that resonate with my experiences. This familiarity allows me to connect deeply with the stories and derive genuine enjoyment from them. I've never had to grapple with the challenges of feeling unseen or misunderstood in this regard, and for that, I am privileged.

Contrastingly, I recognize the struggles that members of the LGBTQ+ community often face. The need to repeatedly explain one's identity and preferences, the constant battle for visibility and acceptance – these are realities that I've never had to confront personally. My identity has always been accepted without question, and for that, I'm grateful. However, I'm eager to learn and empathize with those whose journeys differ from my own so please try and be patient with me.

To my fellow cisgender and heterosexual individuals who may be unfamiliar with what I'm about to explain: Consider the concept of "comfort characters" and why they hold such significance in our lives. For me, growing up, Katniss Everdeen served as my comfort character. Reflecting on her impact on my childhood development, I realize the profound influence she had. During a time when I was grappling with personal challenges that I wasn't yet ready to confide in my family about, my connection to Katniss provided solace. Through her character, I found the strength to envision myself facing adversity head-on, overcoming obstacles with resilience. It may seem trivial to some, given that she's a fictional creation, but the bond I forged with her played a pivotal role in shaping my identity.

I believe many of us can relate to forming such deep connections with fictional characters as we navigate through the complexities of adolescence and young adulthood. These characters serve as guiding lights, offering solace and inspiration during times of uncertainty. Even if you haven't personally experienced such a connection, I encourage you to consider the profound impact that representation can have on shaping one's sense of self and belonging.

Representation matters because it validates our experiences and identities, providing a sense of visibility and validation that is essential for personal growth and empowerment. Just as we find comfort and inspiration in the characters we admire, so too do marginalized individuals deserve to see themselves reflected in the stories they consume. It's through diverse representation that we foster empathy, understanding, and inclusivity within our communities and society as a whole.

Representation matters because it gives people characters they can relate to and admire. But not every character needs to be relatable for everyone to like them. For instance, I really enjoyed watching the relationship between She-Ra and Catra in the show She-Ra. Even though I'm straight, I can imagine the profound joy it brought to members of the LGBTQ+ community who could see themselves represented in a meaningful way. They relate to those characters differently than I do, and that's totally okay. Sometimes, fans want to see their favorite characters in certain ways, even if it's not exactly how the creators intended them to be. They create their own ideas about the characters to feel a deeper connection. While it's natural to want to connect with characters, it's also important to respect the original story and the creators' intentions.

While it's natural to seek characters with whom we can personally identify, it's equally important to appreciate the diversity of perspectives and experiences that representation brings. It's through this diversity that stories become richer and more inclusive, resonating with a broader audience and fostering empathy and understanding across different communities.

So what does that mean for aroace people when it comes to Alastor?

For this to understand I'm just gonna try and picture myself in a different pair of metaphorical shoes, but when it comes to being ace they may not even feel like shoes at all, but more as if you are running barefoot over the nastiest lego pieces in existance.

Imagine going to a bookstore and struggling to find something that aligns with your tastes. Maybe you spend hours searching, only to come up empty-handed. Perhaps you end up settling for whatever book is popular at the moment, feeling left out because there's no variety that speaks to you. Or maybe you turn to the internet, hoping to find your perfect book match online, but even that proves to be a challenge. In the end, you might resort to reading fanfiction because there, at least, the chances of finding representation are higher.

This struggle isn't limited to books but extends to movies, TV shows, and everything else. Constantly feeling like you don't belong can be painful and isolating. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. Unfortunately, society can't change overnight, so we have to work with what we have for now.

The bottom line is, everyone deserves to see themselves represented in the media they consume. It's not just about personal preference; it's about feeling seen and valued in a world that often overlooks our differences. And until that becomes a reality, we'll keep pushing for change, one step at a time. Finally, there's that one character – in this case, Alastor – and for the first time, asexual individuals can feel that sense of connection I've been talking about. They feel seen and acknowledged, just as we all do when we find something or someone we can relate to. This is what books, TV shows, and video games are all about – providing us with enjoyment and a sense of validation, especially in a world that can be tough.

Representation of diverse sexualities in media isn't just important for LGBTQ+ individuals; it's beneficial for everyone. It helps broaden our understanding of each other and breaks down barriers without anyone having to change who they are to fit in. This is the power of art and the stories we consume – they have the ability to blur the lines between people and foster greater empathy and acceptance. Ultimately, it's about making everyone feel like they belong and have a place in the world.

I'll be honest – I don't really think about labels much anymore. I've found that they can sometimes divide people even further, which isn't what I'm about. It's not that I have anything against labels in general; I just personally don't dwell on them. However, I do recognize the subtle influence they can have on me, even though I consider myself quite open-minded.

I've come to a point where I've found peace in the idea that everyone should just be allowed to be themselves, as long as they're happy. I didn't actively choose to be straight; it's just who I am. And I don't expect anyone else to have to "choose" their sexuality either – they should just be able to exist and be happy. I've reached a mindset where I don't really give much thought to someone's sexuality when I see it portrayed in media. They're just who they are, and I'm just who I am. But I understand that for many people, having those labels is important for representation and visibility. Perhaps, initially, society needs those divisions in order for certain groups to feel seen and acknowledged. And while I may not personally identify with those labels, I can still appreciate their significance to others. At the end of the day, it's about acceptance and understanding, regardless of labels.

Returning to the topic of Alastor, now that there's this ace character, the fandom takes him and sometimes decides to change him to fit their own desires. It's similar (I guess) to the disappointment some feel when an author keeps a protagonist's appearance vague, only for fans to imagine them as the perfect, conventionally beautiful princess. This can be hurtful to people who don't fit that idealized image because they ask themselves "would the story be any different if she would be smaller, or chubby, or (insert whatever you want)?"

What's crucial to recognize here is that some fans might struggle to accept Alastor's sexuality because they feel like he has to be different for them to enjoy certain content without feeling guilty or needing to justify their actions. Our minds often try to protect us with such a mindset so we can feel good about ourselves and our choices. For some, that means trying to impose their beliefs on a character so they can comfortably engage with them in their own fanworks.

It's important to acknowledge that everyone interprets and engages with media differently. However, it's also important to respect the creator's original intentions and the representation they've provided. Trying to change a character to fit one's own desires can be disrespectful to both the character and those who identify with them.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between creative freedom and respecting the integrity of the source material.

Here are two key considerations that both sides should bear in mind, (if I even have the right to say anything as someone who is clearly underqualified when it comes to topics like that as a cis and allo):

On one hand, it's important for ace individuals to understand that people often enjoy engaging with characters in various ways, including through shipping and fanfiction. Characters may take on different traits or orientations in these creative outlets, and that's part of the fun and freedom of fan culture. However, when it comes to representation in canon material, it's crucial not to impose personal viewpoints onto characters solely for the sake of recognition. While it's acceptable to explore different interpretations in fan works, it's essential to respect the original portrayal of characters, particularly regarding their sexuality.

Reflecting on my own feelings on this matter, I've realized that I don't necessarily take issue with individuals changing the sexual orientation of straight characters in fanfiction. However, I become uncomfortable when there's an attempt to forcefully alter the canonical identity of a character. This discomfort arises from a sense that being straight is portrayed as incorrect or undesirable. This realization has deepened my empathy for the struggles faced by members of the LGBTQ+ community in seeking authentic representation in media.

This also brings me to the main point – the same principle applies to ace individuals when the community tries to forcefully change a character's sexuality, refusing to acknowledge their ace identity as portrayed in the show. Finally, ace individuals have a character to look up to who is even quite popular, only to see that representation invalidated or ignored because some people refuse to accept it – essentially, refusing to see them.

This kind of rejection can make ace individuals feel as though they need to conform to certain expectations in order to be considered "interesting" or "popular," just like Alastor. It's confusing and disheartening to see a character's identity denied or dismissed, especially when it's a rare instance of representation that could provide validation and visibility for ace individuals.

It would be VERY confusing for me, making me feel like, despite getting represented, I would not be enough.

I'd like to take a moment to clarify that while I enjoy engaging in fan works involving Alastor - some even portraying him romantically or sexually with another character, I wouldn't want him to be portrayed differently in the series. Changing his character in the serie itself in such a fundamental way would completely ruin the essence of who he is for me, much like what happened with characters such as Wednesday, Sherlock, or Loki. Despite my love for these characters, I felt that some of them should have remained as they were without delving into romantic or sexual storylines, as it would feel out of place, just as it would feel strange to me if Alastor suddenly showed romantic or sexual interest in anyone.

It's important to recognize that enjoying fan works doesn't necessarily mean wanting to alter the original outcome of the show or the character themselves. Sometimes, it's just for fun, without any deeper implications.

I don't have a definitive conclusion or a perfect solution to make everything peaceful – I'm not sure such a thing even exists. However, I believe that listening to each other and trying to understand one another, despite our differences, is crucial. I can only imagine how deeply hurtful it must be for ace individuals to see so much fan art of Alastor that conflicts with his established sexual orientation, but recognizing it as people having fun and drawing a line between canon and fanon is as important as it is for those who engage in such content to understand why ace individuals might feel upset about it, and to recognize that their feelings are just as valid.

We need to communicate with each other respectfully and without hostility.

I'm open to listening to anyone who might feel offended by anything I've written here – my goal in sharing these thoughts is simply to foster understanding and empathy. I never wanted to hurt anyone with my words, sorry in advance if someone feels triggered because of this.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor aroace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #alastor the radio demon

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angelic-polar-fox · 2 years

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How a hearttype gave birth to a parallel life of a paratype - A view on the connection between spiritual and psychological roots for otherkinity

[Before I start, I want to point out that the following will be my own experience I simply wanted to write down for a while. Neither of what will be written here is there to dictate other peoples experiences or ways of feeling non/alterhuman.]

The one great discussion within our community is usually the differences between spiritual and psychological reasons for one's identity: Which is more real? Which is more valid? Questions like these are talked about a lot and both sides don’t really want to listen to the other point of view.

This is ridiculous as it is on it’s own, but I feel like many people forget that spiritual and psychological explanations can often be intertwined. There is the obvious: Identity is caused by ones psychologically.

Yes, the kintype itself may or may not be there because of a past life, but still identify as that being is a psychological process. This is something I do see people talk about sometimes. The root may be a spiritual one, but at the end of the day the process of identification is still a psychological matter.

What I don’t see people talk about though is the other way around. I don’t know how long it took me to figure out the basic of this one identity I have, because it’s nothing that ever came to my mind.

It seems to be such an odd concept that I ignored it for so long. A spiritual connection that came to be because of a psychological phenomena.

It only dawned on me when I thought a bit more about one of my hearttypes: Kuja from the game Final Fantasy IX.

I still remember, when I first played the game almost 20 years ago it had a huge impact on me. Long story short: Kuja was created for one purpose alone, to wage war. In the end he does something to redeem himself and even though he dies before he is able to actually walk the road of redemption, the other characters in the game see his sacrifice as a source of hope.

Seeing the man who tried to kill the heroes multiple times to save them in the end because he realized his wrong doings formed a lot of my personal morality. If someone makes the effort to better themselves they deserve a second chance. As sad as it is, this usually isn‘t the case in real life.

I consider Kuja a hearttype because his story and character shaped a really important part of my core identity: Pacifism and second chances. But when I grew older and saw more of the world I realized that this isn‘t how our world is made. There are a lot of people who don’t make an effort to become better, and there are a lot of people who do but aren‘t given a chance and somewhere along the line of seeing the world for what it is, a part of my soul, at least that’s what I believe, found another world where the core idea of my morality is the law.

I had a different parallel life once, one that is now a past life. Through a lot of meditation or introspection the explanation I found for the cause of my old parallel life was some form of split soul, a tiny part of my soul that got separated for some reason long time ago living somewhere else, but all life end one day, even if it’s after 5000 of years and this tiny part of my soul came back not knowing if it even belonged in this world I am now. But shortly after it found a new world, the world I mentioned above.

My parallel life is a spiritual thing. A piece of my soul inhabited another body in another world but the reason for this to happen was a psychological one, the desire to life in a world where the core of my identity would fit into, a core that formed almost two decades ago. And it’s also not a world that is in any way similar to the source of my hearttype. It’s not that I came up with a world that would fit my needs or desires, it’s not that I started to think what my ideal world would be like. It’s so different from anything I would’ve come up with on my own. Because at first I thought: What if it’s just something I created myself subconsciously? But given how different it is from everything I’ve ever created, and how it just came to be so suddenly after my old parallel life ended I can’t see how it’s something my psyche made up. It was just that I had a desire and a piece of my soul sought out a way to make a spiritual connection to something that may could fulfil that desire.

A paratype, with a parallel life, of a hearttype.

#otherhearted #fictionhearted #paratype #otherkinity #fictionkinity #otherkin #fictionkin #personal experiences

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audreydoeskaren · 3 years

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Abridged history of early 20th century Chinese womenswear (part 3.1: 1920s-silhouette)

Source: lucianolapadula.wordpress.com

*Disclaimer: I mostly talk out of my bum so don’t ask me for academic sources, I would love to know where they are but I haven’t found any reliable ones. I only share my own observations so please read me for filth if I’m wrong.

*There are almost no public domain images I could use because this topic is too obscure so I have to use random images that work and link the sources.

Intro/Context

In the 1920s the dominant form of womenswear was still technically the aoqun, however one piece dresses, sometimes with a fake vest, became popularized later in the decade and that could be considered a kind of proto-cheongsam. Many scholars and people on the Internet have different theories as to which particular garment was the true predecessor to the cheongsam but I think that’s a pointless quest, everything went in 1920s fashion and many styles bearing the same silhouette coexisted and they were all valid, it’s just that the one piece dress emerged victorious in the 1930s as the dominant form of womenswear. Looking at 1920s fashion with the sole purpose of finding the origins of cheongsam doesn’t do the decade justice.

In the 1920s Western influence also became more visible and many Art Deco designs were integrated into Chinese fashion, making it an all round exciting and creative decade for Chinese fashion.

Silhouette

In the early 1920s, the hem of the robe was similar to the mid-1910s ao from my previous post, hitting about the top of the hips. The sleeves became somewhat wider, but not reaching the widest point until the mid 20s. The skirt became shorter, usually mid calf, and was not as full as the pleated skirt of the previous decade. I was not able to find a lot of information about early 20s fashion but from the few contemporary drawings I did find (such as the one below) the outer robe of the previous decade seem to have become sleeveless in some occasions, resembling more of a vest, exposing the sleeves of the undershirt. Put a pin in this as the vest style will become quite prominent later in the decade.

Source: https://historypipe.blogspot.com/ (a cigarette ad from 1920)

Aoku (robe with pants) was still considered a fashionable way of dressing in the early 20s, then it started to fade out of popularity. The pants of the early 1920s were shorter and less form fitting than those in the 1910s, usually ending below the knee, allowing stockings to show, which could be very colorful and elaborate.

Source: lai yiching0926 on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.de/pin/675540012850646515/ (a tea ad from 1920)

Around the mid 1920s the skirt began to shorten, eventually reaching knee length, a development similar to that in Western fashion at the time. Pleating became fashionable again; instead of the mamian style pleating with flat sections in the front and back popular in previous decades, mid to late 20s skirts were completely pleated along the waistline, giving them an all round even fullness. Mid to late 1920s skirts commonly had wide hems, which could be decorated with embroidery, trimmings, scallop edges or other Western finishes. The sleeves were half length or shorter and became wider at the bottom, a style commonly known as 倒大袖.

Source: lai yiching0926 on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.de/pin/675540012850651575/ (a calendar showing the years 1926-1927) (the lady to the left is wearing aoku and the other aoqun. Notice the vest look)

Source: http://robertbrowngallery.com/artists_exhibited/artist_pages/image_page.php?image=Chinese_Advertising_Posters- (a raisin ad from 1925-26)

Around the same time, the proto-cheongsam one piece dress look was also being popularized. In the mid 1920s this style was usually knee length, with short sleeves and a high collar; they could also have the fake two piece effect, giving the appearance of a separate vest/tunic being worn. These dresses could have flared hems or short slits down both sides to allow freedom of movement. Interestingly, these dresses were tighter and more body-hugging than Western women’s dresses at the time, which were baggy and rectangular.

Source: http://www.thepankou.com/history-of-the-qipao-recluse-to-national-dress-1910s-1920s/?epik=dj0yJnU9UU82azlTdzgzSXBiYXV6dzJmUHdQcUFBaXQtci1KQVImcD0wJm49MmZTY3pna3FzQXBVOFJ3bGJSY1laZyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVVU8w (I’m actually not sure if this is late 20s or early 30s, judging by the baggy look it’s probably 20s but the early 30s one piece dress had a similar, albeit tighter, silhouette)

Another thing about 1920s Chinese fashion is that I rarely see long-sleeved women’s garments, even in images supposedly depicting fall/wintertime. The more common way to fight off cold weather throughout the 1920s and 30s was to wear Western coats, especially Paul Poiret style fur wrap coats. I recall a lady in a contemporary film saying that coat design of this period was dominated by Parisian trends.

Source: https://www.liveauctioneers.com/item/19256348_hang-zhiying-1899-1947 (late 20s/early 30s) (the lady on the right is finally wearing long sleeves, not so easy to come across haha)

Source: art.com (their website shut down I can’t find the url) (1920s Western fur coats)

Late 20s Chinese womenswear was quite easy to identify. The skirts in aoqun outfits became longer, usually ankle length, with very wide hems. They had a tube like silhouette but were quite full, so I deduce that they were constructed from rectangular panels that were then cartridge pleated or gathered around the waistband. The waistline of the bodice (I don’t think these could be considered separate robes anymore...) rose quite significantly, ending at the natural waist. This was a divergence from the Western silhouette, which remained rectangular until late 1929.

Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/contumacy-singh/2803160798/in/photostream/?epik=dj0yJnU9cWhFcko0YUU5WXd1OERGQWd2VW9aQ1RXcFZ2S0VUTEEmcD0wJm49bWtmNTUzX0oxY2N3Zl94TWgycU5sZyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVSW5R (a perfume ad calendar showing the years 1927-1928)

Source: rs.bift.edu.cn (a cosmetics ad from 1928) (this company, Kwong Sang Hong, was founded in the 1890s and was really iconic and produced many advertisements which are great primary sources)

By the end of the 1920s there were four main styles of womenswear: the two piece aoqun with robe and skirt, the three piece set with robe, vest and skirt and the proto-cheongsam one piece dress. These styles coexisted; it was the silhouette (length of skirt, sleeve shape etc.) that changed throughout the decade and these changes applied to all styles. Interestingly, I don’t think I have seen photos of 1920s Chinese women wearing actual Western fashion, which is weird considering the level of westernization in the 20s and how easy to make and accessible 20s Western clothing was, in addition to the fact that many women in neighboring Japan had already adopted Western clothing.

Source: https://simplycirculate.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/beautiful-20s/?epik=dj0yJnU9WFVWLWtXQU9WM3NhOWVPZTJjZXlTMjc5SHVqeVNTUHQmcD0wJm49U1R4b2swZmxzQU9IUWpkX1o5TWVaUSZ0PUFBQUFBR0FWa2Zz (late 20s Western summer fashion) (Isn’t it interesting that when people think of 20s fashion they usually think of late 20s fashion? Early 20s with the long dresses and big hats deserve more appreciation, even though I don’t really like it personally)

Chinese women began wearing Western fashions in very small numbers beginning in the 1900s, but I guess because of the elaborate nature of Edwardian clothing and the lack of corsetry traditions in China it was expensive and not really popular. I have only seen uber-rich Chinese women in portraits wearing Western fashions. If a lady wanted to show Western influences in her fashion sense it was usually by using Western decorations or fabrics to make her Chinese clothes, or by wearing Western accessories.

Source: https://driwancybermuseum.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/semarang-history-collections/amp/?epik=dj0yJnU9TWRsc3pQU05nQTBVa19xVjZzSFBpSzlHclpTUHZrSUQmcD0wJm49WkdreF9VZnZqUEY3RWVOSVBaOExsdyZ0PUFBQUFBR0FVSnlz (Madame Wellington Koo in a 1910s ballgown)

I think it’s of some importance to discuss the methods for pattern drafting and construction. Chinese clothing began to become more form fitting in the late 20s, however it should be noted that this form-fitting shape was not achieved by Western dressmaking methods i.e. shaped pattern pieces and darts/tucks, but rather using the historical Chinese method of pattern drafting 平裁; Western dressmaking techniques would not be commonly used on Chinese garments until the 1950s. With this method, the front and back pieces of a robe/bodice would be two identical T shapes with overlapping parts at the front right closure. Historically (I mean in the Ming Dynasty) the overlapping bits at the front would be cut separately and then attached to the front pieces, resulting in a seam down the center front 中缝 that many people consider to be a staple of hanfu, although I’m not sure if this method was used before or after the Ming Dynasty. Similarly, I’m also not sure if this was the way 1920s/30s bodices were constructed, they may as well have two separate whole front pieces joined to the back piece at the shoulder and underarm/side seams. Until I get my hands on a period original this shall remain a mystery unless someone enlightens me (please). Anyway, bodices constructed in this method are not three dimensional and could be laid flat on a surface; this method was also used in other East Asian countries, maybe you have seen that when kimonos are laid or hung flat they have a T shape as well.

Example: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/88086 (mid 20s ao, can’t show the image here unfortunately)

This is getting very long so I will split the 1920s into multiple sections, information on design details, hair and accessories will be in subsequent posts.

#1920s #art deco #chinese history #chinese fashion #historic fashion #expressionism #20th century #abridged history of early 20th century chinese womenswear

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tazwren · 3 years

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My two cents on the devolution of fandom spaces...

As a former mod of a fandom space and a woman of colour, I do not feel safe.

Seeing what has been done to so many in this fandom, by a particular group of white American women, in the name of moral policing is both abhorrent and demoralising. As it also is to repeatedly see the same narrative being shoved at everyone as the gospel truth.

A narrative that very conveniently either becomes about fic or has nothing to do with fic, depending on how people want to swing things. A narrative that will accuse a person of Jewish heritage of anti-Semitism, a person of colour of racism, a practising Muslim of being an Islamaphobe. A narrative that will define for you and me and all of us comprising this myriad of multitudes in the world what generational or personal trauma includes and what induces the same.

Those of you who know me, know what I’ve been dealing with the past few days & why I haven’t spoken up before now. Before I logged out a couple days ago, I saw what looked like more of the usual nonsense by the same group of people I’ve kept my distance from once their true colours were revealed. What I didn’t expect is that they would think themselves so above the norms of human decency and accountability that they would go after not one but two women of colour this time around in their rabidity. And many others who spoke up, as it turns out.

It hurts to see what these women, that I know of, have had to endure and to see the passivity of the community, save for a few voices, in sitting back and letting the circus rampage through town. It hurt when I was at the receiving end of it and it hurts now.

Why? Because it shows me a microcosm of the world that I don’t really relate to, that makes no sense to me with the values I was brought up with, and which reduces basic human decency to a commodity to be trampled upon and for you to be seen as weak for having. Because people who willingly laud you for your art / writing / wit, meet you with effusive claims of love and affection and friendship, who have no qualms in taking your help when it suits them, will throw you under the bus and let the wolves ravage you when it doesn't.

Before I get into that, let me talk a little bit about what has transpired over the past few days to a week, and what has been systemically taking place over perhaps the past year in this fandom.

One thing is that everyone who makes a statement about anything suddenly has people in their mentions demanding they show what gives them the right to hold that particular opinion. A critical thing people forget about fandom is that it is a place where people hide their identity for a variety of reasons, all valid, and this approach to fiction and conversations where everyone has to reveal every part of their past and identity as a means of establishing their "credentials" in order to present their views comes in direct contradiction with how fandoms operate. It violates people's rights to privacy.

The other is that there has been an increase in the voices that purportedly stand up to “speak for” the marginalised, the abused, those discriminated against and those who belong to minorities who “need to be protected / kept safe”. An admirable sentiment, to be sure. If it weren’t for the fact that none of these groups of people needed saving, speaking for or the protection of this particular group of voices.

Voices who only want to define and use these people as "model victims" to hurt other white women and establish their supremacy over both them and other POC. Voices that will present their "truth" as they see fit and sans context or present you with screenshots of snippets of conversations held in supposedly secure spaces that they have no qualms in violating in the interest of the "greater good" and claim offense / silencing if the misdemeanour is pointed out or action is taken against them, Voices that will conveniently categorize you as a "token POC" or "white adjacent" when you do not support or align with their narrative. Voices that belong to a predominantly white American group of women, whose real agenda, as is evidenced by their modus operandi, has nothing to do with real altruism or a drive for justice or indeed to right wrongs.

No, their agenda is purely power.

To hold sway over groups of followers, to shepherd them as though they are sheep who cannot think for themselves, and to set themselves up as white saviours who call out those who step out of line, or are deemed to be problematic and toxic and unsafe. To be the owners of the only "safe spaces" in fandom and to drive other groups and spaces to be boycotted or worse.

Now, I've long wondered, who indeed are these women to decide that for anyone? In a world comprising multiple cultures, religions, groups, subgroups, genders and which contains multitudes, who are these women and what gives them the right to foist their puritanical standards on everyone, very conveniently disguised as concern for the moral well being of everyone and the consumption, of all things, of fiction?

Certainly, there are many things in this world that people regard with justifiably equal dislike / horror / sadness. At the same time, there is much that is not shared, that is particular to a culture and to a person’s background. There is a multitude of perspectives that make the whole. And the white women of the United States of America have not cornered the market on what those are, or indeed even own any curatorship or censorship of the same. They cannot, because each person’s culture and background and joy and trauma is their own, as are their ways of dealing with it all.

That being said, let’s talk about their pack behaviour and the devolution I’ve witnessed on social media as basic human decency is bartered for clout.

I’m all for standing up for someone who doesn’t have a voice or a platform, or maybe afraid of repercussions to voice dissent. I’m all for being there for our fellow human beings as they face struggles of often unconscionable and unfathomable proportions. I’m all for holding people accountable for their negative behaviours as they impact the larger community.

What I am unequivocally NOT for is treating such situations as an opportunity to preach, to virtue-signal, to shame and to put on blast the alleged wrong-doers. I say alleged because that’s what most accusations are on these platforms—allegations to do with things that disturb our sense of balance or make us wrinkle our noses or that we deem bad, and therefore make the accused deserving of the full force of the community’s misbehaviour and censure.

I ask you if you were found guilty of a crime in real life—you know, the one away from your phones and keyboards—would you not have an opportunity to retain a lawyer, to plead your case in a court of law, to acquit yourself? Or, if found guilty, would you not have the opportunity for correction and rehabilitation? Yes, you say? (If you say no, then that explains the spate of state-perpetuated injustices across the USA, but that is a different matter).

Why then are people treated so abhorrently in this court of public opinion? What gives you, me, any one of us the right to judge people so vilely and with a metaphorical gun to their heads? What gives anyone the right to say you better agree with everything I say, retract everything you said and grovel for it or we will eviscerate you in public, shame you, force you to change or delete the content that offends us and still ostracise you and in some cases even threaten you with bodily harm or death, or doxx you?

Why is there no grace in how people are approached or dealt with? Whatever happened to allowing people to learn from their mistakes, where applicable, or hearing them out and giving them a chance to explain their side of something we may not fully understand?

Why is there no accountability for such behaviour on the part of the accusers?

What makes the rest of you sit back and allow this to happen? What makes you think this is in any shape or form okay to watch? Today, it is a virtual stranger at the receiving end, one you can distance yourself from quite conveniently saying Oh, she just mods a group I am in, or I only read their fics a couple times or I only followed them for their art or jokes or whatever flavour of excuse you choose. Tomorrow, it will be one of your own - or it may very well be you. And you'd better hope there's someone left to speak up for you.

The irony is you will have allowed it to happen by letting the wolf in the fold. By letting these white women manipulate you, and the community you claim to be a part of, so unapologetically, so maliciously and so unashamedly that before you can do anything about it the cancer has taken hold.

If this was happening in the world outside of social media, they would have to follow due process, to present real evidence based on facts (not based on emotions, rumours or perceptions) and would have to allow the person they are accusing to present a counter-argument, to defend themselves or be defended. Failure to do so is a miscarriage of justice and, depending on whether this is a professional or legal proceeding, they would either seriously risk their jobs or have the case thrown out of court. If not face action themselves for attempting to derail the process of justice.

Why then are they permitted to range so freely through the landscape of fandom, snarling and biting at who they please, or who displeases them?

I have no shame in saying I was at the receiving end of their behaviour for defending a friend they put on blast and I will tell you right here and now, I am a woman of colour who feels unsafe and attacked by these so-called self-appointed white saviours of your social media experience, these so-called upholders of the common morality—whatever that means—who will fight for you the evils of problematic and toxic writers who dare to have an opinion not aligned with theirs and who do not bow to their clout. Not that they care, so long as they can ignore this fact since it doesn’t fit their narrative. So long as they can ignore what has just been done to so many people in the name of cleansing the fandom.

If any one of these women were truly interested in alleviating the troubles and pains of the discriminated, the marginalized, the trauma-affected, I invite them to please come roll their sleeves up and help in the multitudes of troubles that wrack this world, not just in the backyards of their minds. My country is amidst a struggle for the basics of human life in this horrific pandemic and, prior to that, for basic constitutional rights for religious minorities. Do not patronize me and lecture me on trauma and racism and discrimination. Do not marginalise me in your attempt to pontificate and set your pearl-clutching puritanical selves above the rest, or assuage your white guilt.

A largely American audience or fanbase in this fandom is purely a function of access and interest—other cultures have vast followings for things you couldn't begin to fathom—and it doesn't mean you are entitled in any shape or form to be spokespeople for the rest of the world. We have no interest in being colonized again by white oppressors.

If you disagree with what I have said, I congratulate you on being a part of their coterie and wish you much joy in being the sheep in their fold. Kindly unfollow or block me on the way off of this post.

#fandom #fandom culture #bullying #gaslighting #gatekeeping #minorities #people of colour #real talk #toxic people #problematic behaviour #problematic authors #problematic fiction #fanfic #reylo #reylo fanfic book club #reylo fic recs #trauma #safety #accountability

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rai-jin-andro-jin · 3 years

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Intimacy: An Aromantic, Queer, Storyteller's Perspective on Raya and Namaari's Relationship in RatLD

Ok, I know people have lots of opinions about Raya and the Last Dragon. (Please go watch it if you're able to, it's fantastic.) I'm not here to step on any toes, nor am I here to deny that Disney has work to do on openly queer representation. But I wanted to give my opinion on the subject because I've already seen some thoughts flying, and I've got my own too.

Note: potential Raya and the Last Dragon spoilers ahead!

Now, I'm here for queer women. (I'm so here for queer women that I'm queer for them.) I love Raya's depth, design, and arc. I love Namaari's depth, design, and arc (and oh my god, her face shape). I love the way the narrative treated these warriors: like warriors! I could talk all day about how this movie is such a brilliant step toward treating women as people on screen.

But I'm here to talk about the queer aspects.

Any queer person watching that movie saw a couple of baby gays. Anyone saw the tension between Raya and Namaari as adults, their distrust for one another, but also their recollection of how close they once were, how close they could have been, how similar they actually are, but they both don't want to admit it for one reason or another. I think that tension is done beautifully.

I also want to take a second to remind everyone that romantic attraction is not necessary to make something queer.

Sure, maybe you could view their interactions as having romantic undertones. I don't think that's necessarily wrong, but I also don't think that the movie needed a romantic subplot to work. The subplot was platonic, even queerplatonic. The subplot was about Raya learning to realize how similar Namaari was to her, in all the uncomfortable ways Raya wasn't ready to admit. Raya wanted to remain focused inward; she wanted to protect her goal from destruction, she wanted to bring her Ba back. And she didn't want to trust anyone again. She didn't feel like she could, and she didn't want to try, especially not with Namaari.

And yet, during their interactions, there is a sense of intimacy. No doubt, over the six (6) years after the gem broke, Raya and Namaari have run into each other on several occasions. It seems like they still know each other well enough to banter mid battle. Raya knows Namaari well enough to be able to easily "push her buttons" and distract her. There is an intimacy here that strays easily into frienemy territory. It has the potential of being romantic. It also has the potential of not being romantic at all.

And, as someone on the aromantic spectrum, I want to reiterate that romantic queerness is not the only queerness. Aromantic affection, queerplatonic affection, allosexual aromantic affection — all of these are valid and real queer identities and queer expressions.

So, while I agree that "Disney is a coward" and that queer people deserve genuine, wholesome, and healthy representation in movies — I also want to emphasize that you can remove romanticism from the equation and still retain the queer narrative (or, what we the audience read as a queer narrative).

(I personally think there is nothing straight about these two characters, but I also respect the possibility that cultural norms and expectations can change how queerness manifests, or what is even considered queer. I'm a white person from the USA; the way I read or express queerness may not be the same as the way someone of Southeast Asian descent would read or express queerness. That topic in itself is worthy of an entirely different mega post. But that is very important to note.)

Furthermore, I want to add that while, again, seeing Disney explicitly tackle a queer relationship on screen would be so amazing, I also don't think this particular narrative had room for it.

Raya and the Last Dragon has a beautiful story filled with strong cultural tradition and Southeast Asian communal values. Love for one's community and family is especially important, as the writers have expressed, and this value was purposely woven into the narrative as a centerpiece.

Disney has a long history of making that centerpiece romantic love. Movies in general, Disney included, have a very long history of using romantic love as an easy subplot. It is such a common thing to do in the industry.

Stepping away from that norm is a breath of fresh air, in my opinion. And I'm not saying that because I'm aromantic and I "hate romance"—I don't, by the way, and I'll show you why.

I have written romance in fiction for a long-ass time. I love writing it. And in my (self-proclaimed) professional opinion, adding romance into Raya and the Last Dragon would have been really forced. I don't think the movie needed it. It would have been narratively unnecessary, and the catharsis we received regarding the mending of Raya and Namaari's relationship was more than enough. Any romance would have been extra, and, more importantly, would have been distracting from the actual main theme of the movie. Remember, the takeaway from this movie is communal trust: building bridges to unite families and communities of people. This narrative values familial and communal love first and foremost. (This is not to say that romantic love can't intersect with familial, communal, and platonic love, but I'm making the distinction here because the story writers intended to make this distinction, too.) Putting communal love first also does not devalue any romantic or queerplatonic love that might exist under that umbrella — but that's just it; communal love is the focus here, and I'm glad the writers made the decision to keep the focus of the narrative grounded and organized. It keeps the story from wandering off in too many directions and becoming confusing. It keeps us from having too many loose ends. And it keeps the runtime from being too long — or worse, it saves the narrative and all it's subplots from feeling cut short.

And here's where I jump into my main gripe. Yes, Raya and Namaari have chemistry. At the very least, when they met as kids, they formed a nice first bond: they had a lot in common, they related to each other on several things, and they had empathy for each other. That's a good foundation for a lot of things: friendship, queerplatonic relationships, romantic relationships, business partnerships... What I'm saying is, they had a good beginning. But it was just one day. And they were kids.

They were both kids who were vulnerable to the opinions and desires of the adults around them.

Namaari was influenced by her mother to betray Raya in order to gain the Dragon Gem (ultimately to give her people the prosperity they lacked). Before coming to Heart, Namaari likely saw Raya and the people of Heart like her mother/chief did: Heart was rich solely because they hoarded the magic of the Dragon Gem, and they would lie and say the Gem didn't give them prosperity only so they could continue to hoard the gem.

Raya was influenced by people in her village too, though we don't explicitly see those influences. When her father mentions that the other lands are on their way to Heart, Raya immediately believes they are coming with evil intent. When her father asks her what she knows about the other lands, Raya lists qualities about each land that portray them in a dangerous light. She views them explicitly as enemies and outsiders, people to fear and distrust in order to maintain her and Heart's safety and prosperity. Namaari included.

When Raya and Namaari meet, there is a lot going on under the surface of their interaction. Certainly, they are both kids; part of them likely has a natural urge to trust and connect with each other, as they eventually did that day! But clearly, especially for Namaari, there still exists a level of distrust and divide. Perhaps because Raya had the influence of her father, who encouraged her to see the other lands as friends rather than enemies, Raya's guard was lower than Namaari's. It's doubtful Namaari had that kind of influence, as her mother consistently displayed distrust for other lands, and focused more on the protection of Fang's people. Namaari clearly experienced quite a bit of internal conflict during the time before her betrayal of Raya, trying to balance her own desires for connection and friendship with her desire to please and protect Fang. Having a connection with Raya at all, especially a deeper connection (rather than a false pretense of connection), was likely not the intention of this subterfuge plan. Connecting with Raya likely felt good, but it also felt like a betrayal of Fang; a betrayal of Fang felt like a death sentence, especially since not obtaining the Gem would mean that Fang (according to Namaari's mother and the people of Fang) would likely perish. Namaari chose to resolve the conflict by returning to what was most familiar and comfortable: distrusting Heart for the good of Fang. For Namaari, it likely didn't dispel the discomfort of knowing that she betrayed a friend, someone who felt so close and genuine, someone who was just as obsessed with dragons as she was (which seems like it was rare for Namaari, and thus valuable). But her choice to betray Raya did, in Namaari's mind, save Fang, a strong value instilled in her from birth.

The betrayal hurts Raya a lot more openly. She sees Namaari firstly as a potential friend, a connection. Raya was taught by her father to value connection with others more than preemptively distrusting them in order to protect herself. This is likely why we see their interactions mostly from Raya's perspective. Namaari's behavior is very conflicted in intention, bouncing back and forth between deception and genuine connection, and trying to balance those two in a way that remains faithful to Fang and herself. Raya, on the other hand, is fully genuine for this interaction, save for maybe a couple moments of brief, minor hesitation. But, that hesitation is short-lived and the desire for friendship ultimately wins over for Raya. She fully trusts Namaari (to the level that she is able to, given that they just met that day), up to the moment the betrayal occurs. She is blindsided, and in response, she also returns to the comfort of her original views (before her father tried to teach her to trust the other lands). This decision to abandon the friendship is not comfortable at all for Raya; it is forced. She must do it to protect not only her land, but ostensibly the world. She is fighting between protecting her "clan" and protecting outsiders. She is struggling to view other lands as part of her clan/community, and Namaari's betrayal only solidifies Raya's eventual choice to mistrust others completely. Once her father dies, so does Raya's trust. To her, (misplaced) trust caused the downfall of the world, and more importantly, the death of her Ba. And to her, that betrayal is embodied and personified by Namaari. Namaari becomes a scapegoat and a punching bag for all that went wrong with the world, and this is a consistent mindset Raya has throughout the movie, until it is openly challenged by Namaari during the climax. Raya is comfortable in an "us versus them" mindset; it rids her of blame and responsibility for her actions, her role in problems. She, like Namaari, chooses to believe that everyone else is to blame for her downfall, while excluding herself entirely from that equation.

It goes without saying that these characters are well-written. Their emotions, motivations, and actions are complex and whole. I could (clearly) write analysis for days about these two. But here's my point.

Romance is only a potential part of their relationship at the start, no more. It is budding at best, and not fully realized or invoked. It is not ever made explicit or agreed upon. And the foundations of trust between these two, for a massive portion of the movie, are severely damaged. Any intimacy they had as children is put on hold, if not destroyed. They only trust each other as far as their blades reach, and as much as they've crossed paths during the six (6) year time-jump (enough to banter, manipulate each other, and predict each other's strategies to a degree), and and no further than that. Where they left off, they still have a connection, even while they don't trust each other with their deepest values. This foundation is clearly not enough for either of them to warrant a more intimate relationship, be it in the shade of romantic, queerplatonic, sexual, sensual, or otherwise. If it was enough, they would have done so already. Their closest intimacy is for the purpose of evading each other's attacks and maneuvers in order to get the upperhand. Their main goals are not each other, even though they both likely desire deeper connection, like they once had as kids. That childhood connection was genuine; no one is arguing otherwise.

But, by the climax of the movie, these two are not in a position of full, deep trust and connection. At the climax of the movie, when the Gem has finally been restored, their relationship is effectively back at the beginning, right where they left off as kids: budding and new, unsure yet hopeful, and with initial chemistry. That may read as potential romance, potential queerplatonics, potential you-name-it. But it is still potential, not active, not existent in the moment. They still have work to do in terms of building a deep relationship. Trust is a first step — one of many, many more steps. They're still working on the friendship and trust by the end — they just reunited as peoples from different lands, and as old ex-friends. They're relearning to see other lands as friends and not enemies, and that includes the way they see each other. They've come a long way, no doubt, and they still have a long way to go before they're remotely deep friends with established trust. They're effectively rebuilding that damaged trust by the end of the movie.

I mean, seriously. Expecting a full on romantic relationship, or even the explicit beginning of one is a massive stretch. Like, did you watch the movie? They have a lot of things to work through and talk about together! I don't care that they worked together and sacrificed themselves to save the world together. That's step one. Step one going well does not equal the kind of deep intimacy seen in romantic, queerplatonic, or deep platonic relationships, especially not the kind of romance that some audience members expressed they wanted to see from the movie. Did we forget that a genuine, hurtful betrayal happened? Did we forget that a betrayal happened very early on in the relationship? That sort of behavior doesn't scream "healthy relationship," and Raya and Namaari's subsequent reactions to said betrayal and following said event don't scream "consent to intimacy." Like, sure, they were both kids when it happened, especially Namaari, who was partially manipulated into that betrayal. But being young doesn't dilute or negate any of the very real trauma and pain felt by either of them, nor does it take away autonomy and responsibility for actions. She may have been manipulated and taught an incomplete view of the world, but Namaari also made that choice to betray Raya herself, no matter how mis- or un-informed she was about the world at the time. She still made a decision that hurt Raya, and in the process a lot of others. That can't be glossed over if we're talking about the formation of genuinely deep bonds. If the movie had made Raya and Namaari explicitly a couple of any kind, I strongly believe that any romantic, queerplatonic, or any other type of intimate social behavior would have made their relationship and conflict-resolution come across as forced, rushed, inauthentic, and unearned. Gestures of romantic intimacy especially tend to imply (in narratives that want to portray a healthy romantic relationship) a sense of depth, bond, and trust that is developed over long periods of time, marked by continuous and explicit efforts toward mutual trust. Raya and Namaari might have cultivated genuine trust for each other, but they lack a history of that trust that would realistically allow for a believable and genuine romantic/queerplatonic relationship at the level of harmony most "romance-lacking" audience-complaints demand. Raya and Namaari are not at that point yet. Rushing them there doesn't make that bond authentic, nor does it create healthy and realistic queer representation, much less healthy romantic/queerplatonic/intimate representation in general. Furthermore, rushing that sort of thing on-screen and portraying it as perfectly healthy perpetuates pre-existing, unrealistic, and unhealthy ideals of romance, human intimacy in general, and amatonormativity. Preliminary trust is not enough to give someone access to you in totality. We shouldn't portray that idea to kids, and this movie is careful not to. Trust is an ongoing process, and teaching kids that intimacy is developed over time and through consistent respect and communication is paramount. I seriously wish this movie had existed when I was a kid. I wish I had learned what this movie teaches. Romance isn't the answer to everything; it's not the highest form of love; and it's not the highest form of queer representation either. The highest form of love is the kind that is genuine and realistic and respectful.

Plus, on the subject of amatonormativity, I want to restress that queerness is not defined by romance. No one is made queer by their queer relationships, or even their visibly queer relationships. No one is suddenly not queer when they're single. Raya and Namaari can still be queer representation without ever having a romantic, sexual, or even queerplatonic relationship. Does Disney still have a record of cisheteronormative-flavored cowardice towards positively portraying explicitly queer people on screen? Absolutely. But I also don't think the answer to cisheteronormative amatonormativity is queer amatonormativity. Queer people are still queer, regardless of their relationship status, and especially regardless of their romantic orientation. Queer people are queer by virtue of existing.

TL;DR:

This should be more than clear: I'm of the strong opinion that both Raya and Namaari are queer. I don't think any of my regular readership will disagree. But forcing a romance (or any sort of deeper, unearned intimacy) onto this particular relationship and narrative only has the capacity to muddy and ruin this valuable and beautiful storyline and it's themes. Such a careless choice perpetuates some very harmful and prejudiced cultural norms regarding love and it's expression, and such a choice runs the risk of directly teaching children to view the world — to view their relationships — in a limiting, destructive, and isolating way.

I wouldn't change any part of the way this movie portrays Raya and Namaari's relationship. Every ounce of their interactions: from their words to their body language, facial expressions to actions, motivations to desires, conflict to resolution — they all make sense and are fully earned in this movie.

Yes, they'd look super cute together. Yes, it would likely be super cathartic for my gay little heart to see them kiss. Yes, they have the chemistry and potential for really meaningful and fulfilling growth and intimacy down the line. That is kind of the entire message of of the movie: potential; growth seen as a process made up of steps, the first being the catalyst towards making that potential a reality.

Raya and Namaari are a queer-coded microcosm for the rest of their world. They are one of many microcosms teaching a lesson about the importance of valuing and developing communal, cross-border trust.

Please stop yelling at Disney to make them kiss. They're together in a way that matters just as much, and they're together in a way that, for once, doesn't make romance the highest and truest form of intimacy. Write your fanfiction, enjoy them as a pairing, write letters to Disney and tell them we deserve explicit and normalized queer representation (because we do). Do what you wish, and do what makes you happy! Enjoy your queer pairings! I encourage you! I implore you!

But please, please, please don't discount the importance, validity, and power of the connection they do have. This connection is no less intimate and no less important than romance, sex, or anything else. They don't need romance to be queer, and they don't need any label at all to be a beautiful, realistic, and healthy portrayal of human relationships, queer or not.

And for the record, they are very, very gay, and nobody, not even Disney, can change my mind.

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bootlegsymphony · 4 years

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Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

#nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #komahina #komahinawriteup #Komaeda Essay Club #dr2meta #danganronpa2

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geehosaphat · 3 years

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I remember tears streaming down your face when I said “I'll never let you go” When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said don't leave me here alone But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight...

TLDR; Martin Ambrosius, District 2, Victor of the 293rd Hunger Games recalls his own time spent in the arena and confronts the ghosts of those he betrayed.

TW: Poison, Bombs, Decapitation, Murder, Death

The quarters for mentors was too similar to the tributes’ in Martin’s opinion. As he laid in his bed for the first night at the training facility after the train ride with his tributes, he couldn’t help but recall his first night after his Reaping. It had been cold, but not like a snowy day, just cool. His home had been comfortable enough in District 2 he supposed, but everything in the Capitol was next level.

Even the cold.

He hadn’t been able to sleep in that bed the whole time they had been there. Instead he’d taken the small couch in the space. The shape of the cushions reminding him of the slight flaws in his mattress back home. It had kept most of his nightmares at bay at least, even if his back ached in the morning from the position he’d been in for too many hours.

Then had come the training itself.

When showing his tributes the training facility and tools, he’d had flashbacks to his own time frantically spent trying to train in things that his mind would never fully capture. Sure, he’d picked up a thing or two since then (especially within the arena) but there was something so unnatural and clunky about him wielding an axe or trying to create a bomb. No, things like that were best left to those who specialized in the craft.

Martin had used any time that had not been spent honing crafts he’d never grasp forming alliances.

The first had been Miranda, a studious looking girl from District 3. Miranda had been good with traps and electricals. She had insisted to Martin that there was little difference between organizing a circuit board and creating a good trap. He hadn’t seen the connection but her skills were undeniable. She was thirteen. Martin remembered the cute way her nose scrunched up when she concentrated on something.

Then had come Kaydence, a boisterous kid from District 5. He was strong from working in the fields and large to boot. Kaydence had shown Martin how to use a hammer. There was this optimism that had never gone away. He was fourteen. Martin remembered the way how, when Kaydence had laughed, all of his fears tended to melt away even on the worst of his days in the arena.

Rounding out Martin’s allies came Trey, a fellow District 2 member that Martin remembered from the academy. Trey was no Career, but he had spent an inordinate amount of time on agility courses and with smaller long-range weaponry because the ability to juggle daggers while jumping through hoops had amused him greatly. He was seventeen. Martin remembered the handshake he and Trey had made up while huddled together under their camp while they waited for the acid rain the Gamemakers had sent to stop.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound...

When Martin had gotten into the arena his first instinct had been to run in the opposite direction of the Cornucopia. This was, however, undercut by Kaydence’s insistence on getting himself a hammer that was shimmering in the very center of the chaos. Not wanting to abandon his allies, he’d rushed in at Kaydence’s heels and helped to distract as many of the District 1 Careers as possible to get their whole pack through the Cornucopia.

Sorting through their loot they found: Martin managed to snag a backpack that would prove to be full of medical supplies, Miranda had grabbed herself some wire and a crossbow, Kaydence got his hammer and a fishing net, and Trey grabbed a trident that none of them knew how to use. All in all they had decided it had actually been worth it once Martin had used their new supplies to patch up a few injuries they’d sustained in the area.

The first few days passed pretty uneventfully. The terrain felt confusing going from forest to desert and back again. They mainly kept to themselves, sharing stories from back home and sharing what the first thing they’d do if they were the one to make it home.

Miranda wanted to start her own academy in District 3; something that would give future tributes more of an access to an electrical side of things despite that being District 2′s whole deal. Martin had told her that she was onto something and hoped that, should she make it there, that they at least named the building after her or something.

Kaydence just wanted to hug his mother again. He didn’t care about the glory, though he hoped that District 5 would at least get enough food and money to make the pain he went through worth it. Martin had shared how much he missed Mim in return and Kaydence had pulled the older tribute in for a hug that Martin couldn’t refuse. Being in the arena made everyone lonely.

Trey was the outlier. Despite not having the skills of a Career he’d smirked at the question, snorting contemptuously at Kaydence’s soft answer. Money and power and fame drove Trey to reach for the finish line. His grandmother had been a Victor and, while his parents had never gone through the Games, Trey was determined to be just as big of a name as she had been. Martin had assured Trey that everyone was just as valid as the other for their reasonings but kept quiet about the rainclouds behind his neighbor’s eyes.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby even when the music’s gone, gone...

Food was scarce in the arena.

The few animals they had come across being squirrels and lizards which were high in protein if you could get enough for four people but, most of the time, catching food could only feed one or two of their members. This proved to be to Martin’s benefit when they re-entered the forest area and found a big bushel of berries. There was one that Martin recognized as safe to eat and they’d filled an entire pocket of his backpack to the brim with them to carry with them along their journey.

What the others didn’t see was the nearly identical bushel beside that one of poisonous berries that Martin snagged and stuffed into a separate pocket for later.

One by one, they eventually ran into the other packs in the arena and had to fight their way through the landscape so they could hope to get back to their families, back to their lives.

Three cannons fired when Miranda set off a bomb she’d managed to make with her skills and a sponsor gift she’d received. She managed to kill someone from District 1, District 6, and District 5 in that explosion. Miranda insisted that she was fine when they checked on her but Martin remembered the way she’d asked him to hold her when the others were asleep.

A single cannon fired thanks to Kaydence when a scrawny looking girl from District 4 tried to steal from their camp and was caught by the largest member of their party. She had barely even known she’d been caught before Kaydence sliced her head off. They tried not to look at Kaydence when they saw the face of that tribute in the sky that night but Martin remembered hearing his sobs while keeping watch for them.

A whopping four cannons fired for Trey’s use of Miranda’s crossbow. They’d been ambushed at an oasis in the middle of the desert, too delirious from dehydration to look for the attack awaiting them at the shore. Trey had saved their lives singlehandedly, having hung back from his allies to keep watch over them due to a “bad feeling” he’d had in his gut. Martin remembered how everyone had treated Trey like a hero in the moment but when it came time to acknowledging the fallen that night Trey was the quietest of all staring into those portraits.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound...

Each day that passed brought Martin and his allies closer to the finish line. It didn’t feel real, not really, most days. They kept to themselves as much as they could, letting the other tributes kill each other off for the most part. Martin knew the people he was working with weren’t killers at heart, not really. He, himself, had yet to even get a kill thus far in the Game, not that he was complaining about the fact.

The problem came when the realization dawned upon Martin that only seven remained in the game and four of them were sitting together at his camp. He almost couldn’t process the knowledge, couldn’t anticipate what that would feel like. If Martin were honest, he’d never expected for them to get this far. He had imagined a million ways for him to go out but being part of the final seven? It felt like a dream.

So, this knowledge fresh in his mind, Martin began to prepare the supper for his camp in silence. Everyone else was sharing stories and inside jokes that they had created all together here in the arena. His heart sank as his hands worked against his heart’s desire to keep them all safe.

Miranda was handed her plate first as she always was. They had joked in the beginning about ladies first but really she was the youngest so it only felt fair to make sure she got a fair portion. Martin remembered the way he didn’t ruffle her hair the way he usually did as he passed her by and she pouted at him but made no further comment.

Kaydence was next, a big guy like him he always joked that he deserved double the portion of tiny Miranda but never actually complained about his share as the group always at least made it fair and everyone took turns missing a meal if they were running extremely low on sustenance. Martin remembered Kaydence calling him “Chef” sarcastically as he stared down at his plate of only berries.

Trey was the last of Martin’s allies to be given his plate at every meal that included every member of their group. Trey was usually fiddling with something which resulted in his hands being busy and Martin was never quite in the mood for getting accidentally stabbed by Trey dropping whatever fidget toy he’d found for the day. Martin remembered Trey taking this meal in silence and wished he had asked what had been on Trey’s mind at the time.

Just close your eyes, you'll be alright Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound...

One by one his allies began to realize what had happened to them as they grew steadily more ill from the dinner Martin had given them. The side effects of the poison they’d consumed wouldn’t be too painful, he’d been sure that they wouldn’t suffer for too long. He couldn’t even look them in the eyes as they accused him of his crimes.

Martin wouldn’t have been able to see them anyway, the tears overflowing as his allies’, his friends’ lives came to their bitter end.

Miranda was the first to go, having been the smallest and the first to have eaten. She had asked him why he did this to them when they trusted him. Martin had no answer and couldn’t watch her face as she had passed on. He made sure to close her eyes and lay her down gently afterwards, though, choking out apologies between his sobs. She didn’t deserve this fate, she was just a kid!

Kaydence, despite his size, followed suit. For the first time since Martin had met Kaydence he heard the District 5 tribute swear. Not at Martin but at himself for allowing his guard to go down so easily. This felt worse than if Kaydence would have yelled at him, at least Martin would have deserved that. When Kaydence passed on he offered the fallen tribute the same courtesy he had offered Miranda. Kaydence had been a good person and Martin would carry that guilt for the rest of his life.

Trey was the last to fall and Martin would later be told by Trey’s mother that her son was much too stubborn to let Martin see his weakness as he passed on. What she didn’t know was that Trey had shown it, silently, by being the only one to capture Martin’s eye contact and looking terrified by his fate. Sure, Trey had said nothing aloud but his silence spoke volumes that echoed in his mind still.

Martin spent the rest of the Game hiding in their camp until the last tribute sought him out. A bloodthirsty boy from District 4. Martin had wasted no time with this fight, having expected this eventually, and shot him dead in the heart with Miranda’s crossbow.

With that it was over and Martin was taken home. What barely anyone realized was Martin died in that arena alongside all of his friends.

#bhg #tw poison #tw death #tw bombs #tw decapitation #tw murder #[ s. safe and sound ]#[ mine ]

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belonglab · 3 years

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Gaslighting: A Tool of Oppression and Exclusion

by Alisha Patel, Communications & Research Fellow at GenLead|BelongLab

February 2, 2021

“I don’t see color.” This is one of the most common phrases people will use to defend themselves against accusations of racism. It isn’t the best, but at least it’s not explicitly racist, right? In a culture where calling out institutional and systemic racism feels like an ongoing battle that’s fought tiny steps at a time, that phrase feels like an adequate place to start. However, this phrase is actually a form of racial gaslighting, and its acceptance only perpetuates stereotypes and the racism we are trying to fight.

Gaslighting in general is a form of manipulation and psychological abuse where the perpetrator convinces the victim that they are imagining or overreacting to abuse. Over time, this can solidify the perpetrator’s position of power over the victim, turning it into an ongoing cycle of abuse. The effects of gaslighting are extensive-- the victim will start to second guess themselves and their judgments. While this form of manipulation is often talked about with regard to personal relationships, it can additionally be used to to cloak bigotry like racism.

Racial Gaslighting

Racial gaslighting often is used to excuse microaggressions in all forms. It can invalidate someone’s experience of perceived racism by subtly denying their feelings and emotions, excusing implicit comments meant to demean or discredit them, or even excusing explicit attacks on them. Its effects are grave; it subtly reinforces and sustains racial and social hierarchies that inevitably hurt minority groups. Not only does racial gaslighting allow stereotypes to continue, but it also degrades the victim’s sense of self and teaches them to invalidate their own instincts and judgments.

For example, imagine if someone had experienced racism in the workplace and attempted to tell a fellow coworker about the incident; instead of empathizing, the coworker reassured the victim “it couldn’t possibly be racism,” “it is all in your head,” or “you’re too sensitive.” Statements like this place the perpetrator in a position of power and control under the guise of morality, while undermining the victim’s experience as lesser-than. In turn, the victim can develop feelings of anxiety and depression as they start believing they cannot trust themselves and cannot express their emotions outwardly. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Roberta Babb, racial gaslighting also, “overtly and covertly erodes a person’s sense of self, self-worth, agency and confidence.” Thus, racial gaslighting feeds internalized oppression and Imposter Syndrome.

Racial gaslighting is so common that it is sometimes difficult to tell when it is happening, and it can even be unconscious or unintentional. Normalized phrases like “I don’t see color” seem to mean well at first glance, but in actuality serve to invalidate the struggles of a minority group while erasing the group’s lived history. It tells the listener, quite unequivocally, “I am not racist. What you are perceiving as racism on my part cannot possibly be racism.” Phrases like these are un-nuanced and oversimplified takes that may have been accepted in the past, but as we learn more about deep and entrenched racism, we see they are outdated, insensitive, and quite frankly, racist.

This type of manipulation often is used by mainstream media and people in power, ingraining its use in our culture and further highlighting the power dynamics underpinning racial gaslighting. Think of Donald Trump and his response to protest movements through the past year: On one hand, he refused to condemn Neo-Nazi protestors, saying there were “fine people on both sides.” But he mischaracterized Black Lives Matter protests calling for an end to police brutality as thugs and threatened them with the National Guard, warning “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.” He then mischaracterized the white supremacist, violent insurrection he incited on January 6th as a march, declaring his love for the insurrectionists. According to Trump, white supremacists are allowed the benefit of the doubt and could possibly be good people at heart. Yet, those in support of black lives are automatically dangerous and should be perceived as a threat. With these statements, Donald Trump at once validates the platform of white supremacists while invalidating black lives in the United States and negating the idea that racism is a problem; he normalizes the presence of white supremacy while revealing the inability of the country to acknowledge its inherent racism and bigotry. Anyone witnessing photos and images of how the BLM protesters were treated versus how the white supremacist insurrectionists were treated at our Capitol can see that racial gaslighting has deeply permeated our country systemically and is a problem that outlives the Trump presidency.

Gender Gaslighting

Also problematic is gender gaslighting, where a woman may not feel comfortable voicing concerns about sexism because her concerns are automatically dismissed. Consider a woman -- let’s call her Jana -- who has been working for a company for many years and is very qualified for a promotion. Yet every time Jana expects to be promoted, a man is given the promotion instead, even though he has had less time at the company and is not as qualified. Jana may attempt to discuss this with her boss, but he insists it has nothing to do with her gender; he tells her she is overanalyzing the situation and being over-sensitive. While it is possible that Jana’s boss could be telling the truth, it is more likely that her gender is in fact playing a role in not receiving a promotion, as this pattern has repeated multiple times. However, Jana has learned that she does not have a space to speak up about this sexism, will likely be negatively judged for speaking up and thus have an even harder time getting that promotion, and therefore most likely will not attempt to speak up again. This is the same situation that is seen with racial gaslighting-- the cycle will continue for Jana, and her emotions may inevitably turn inwards, convincing her that she is not qualified for any promotion and deserves to be limited to her current level.

COVID-19 Gaslighting

We even see gaslighting around COVID-19. As a college student at a very urban university, the pandemic has shaken up every single aspect of college life. Though my school has adjusted as best as possible (we are tested twice a week and receive our results within 24 hours; most classes are online and if they aren’t, there are usually less than five people in-person, all socially-distanced; so on and so forth), interacting with other students and people my age really reveals the mindset around the pandemic.

As the pandemic has raged on, it feels as though people have accepted its presence, or stopped caring altogether. It’s a stark difference from the first lockdown in March, where it felt (at least for the most part) that everyone was on the same page. But now, instead of staying inside and mitigating the impacts of the pandemic, it feels as though it’s now a matter of working around the pandemic to do things we used to do. Those who are still staying inside have become more of the minority than the majority, and are sometimes gaslighted to feel overly paranoid for continuing to take the pandemic seriously. This gaslighting is clearly very harmful to society as a whole, as it simultaneously perpetuates coronavirus while undermining common sense and the empathy to care about the collective nation.

COVID gaslighting can exist on a small interpersonal level. Consider a situation where two friends want to get together, but one is insisting on following social distancing regulations while the other is suggesting to abandon them altogether. The one wanting to abandon social distancing may claim that they have both been isolating themselves since the beginning of the pandemic, and it is unlikely that they could infect each other. They may go on to call their friend overly paranoid of the virus and accuse them of not wanting to get together. Though this is not actually the case, the friend who was attempting to follow COVID regulations is made to be the villain, which is a common gaslighting mechanism.

Even worse, COVID gaslighting has been perpetuated by some people in power, who can afford to preach a careless and selfish mentality around COVID-19 because, even when they contract the virus, they have the money, power, and resources to combat it. Meanwhile, they continue to manipulate the American public into believing that COVID is not something to be taken seriously.Their followers adopt the same invincible mindset, but it is clear that they -- and most other average Americans -- are not in the same situation and do not have the same money and resources to combat COVID if needed. The situation is even worse for identity groups that have been historically oppressed.

Many Black and brown communities are disproportionately affected by COVID-19: African-Americans deaths are two times higher than would be expected for their population, and it is the same for Hispanics and Latinos. On the other hand, white deaths from COVID are “lower than their share of the population in 37 states.” These disparities result from institutionalized and systemic racism (fed by racial gaslighting) that has been snowballing since our country’s inception.

Combatting Racism by Contending with Gaslighting

It is in no way, shape, or form the victim’s responsibility to attempt to change their gaslighter’s behavior. Instead, it is important for us to create safe spaces for these victims to be heard and validated. Thus, putting a stop to gaslighting begins by looking inwardly at our own behavior and preconceived biases; particularly, if you find yourself recognizing some of the behaviors symptomatic of gaslighting, it may be wise to engage in self-introspection and attempt to accept some responsibility. Though some gaslighting may be done unintentionally or what you believed to be well-meaning, it clearly is still harmful and must be mitigated. To confront the biases that may underlie your possible gaslighting of others, you can also take this online test that examines and assesses internal biases that you may not have even noticed (it takes about 10-15 minutes). Attempt to challenge these internal biases, and pay attention to how they affect your interactions with others.

Additionally, be prepared and open to truly listen to and learn from other people and their experiences, and focus on increasing your awareness of others’ circumstances. These steps can begin the process of acknowledging gaslighter responsibility. By first starting on a personal scale, we can expand this introspection to a larger scale and begin holding the racist systems in our country accountable.

If you find yourself a victim of gaslighting, it is important to safeguard your mental health. This can be done by taking a step back from the situation and removing yourself from the environment to consider the hurtful behavior and resulting emotions. You can write down your thoughts to affirm your judgement as valid and for reference if necessary. It also can be helpful to talk with other members of your identity group and share experiences like this. Affirmation from others with similar circumstances can validate your experience of harmful gaslighting and remind you that you are not alone. This can help you to trust yourself more as well as recognize the gaslighting as it is happening.

In the moment gaslighting is occurring, it is important to call out the behavior publicly (when possible and safe to do so), showing the perpetrator and others in proximity that the behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Further (again, to the extent safe and not harmful), you can talk one-on-one with the perpetrator to discuss the behavior, making sure to describe the behavior and why it is harmful. Setting boundaries (e.g., taking a step back, removing yourself from the situation, as described above) will help to loosen any grip the negative environment or perpetrator may have on you.

As an ally, it is important to help support victims of racial gaslighting by helping to call out the unacceptable behavior, as well as creating a safe space for victims to express themselves and be heard and respected. Make sure that what you are doing is not self-indulgent or performative, but rather is truly helpful to the victim and in their self interest.

Combatting racism in a present day context is not an easy task -- it is extremely complicated and has far-reaching and entrenched roots in the United States. That said, the task should begin with dismantling the practices that perpetuate racism on interpersonal and societal scales. By recognizing racial gaslighting, it is possible to disrupt stereotypes and racial hierarchies, while also offering the historically oppressed, excluded, and marginalized a safe space to speak and be heard, which uncloaks hard truths from underneath imposed false narratives. Those who insist they don’t see color are not seeing people of color and their lived experiences.

Without seeing the hard truths, we are unable to address them.

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cripp-tid · 5 years

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It's pride month, so here's some friendly reminders!!

Sexuality stuff

Lesbian people are not inherently toxic in any shape or form. If someone is a bad person, it's separate from the fact they're lesbian.

Gay people are not inherently toxic in any shape or form. If someone is a bad person, it's separate from the fact they're gay.

No one is inherently toxic because of their identity.

BUT

This does NOT MEAN you get a pass if you're contributing to the oppression of another minority, intentionally/directly or otherwise.

So if you're white and cis and gay, you can still be racist/sexist/transphobic/etc.

WLW-specific slurs can only be reclaimed by WLW

MLM-specific slurs can only be reclaimed by MLM

Not everyone is comfortable with reclaiming slurs

Not everyone is ok with the use of reclaimed slurs around them

If someone with trauma tells you that the use of a certain slur triggers them, respect it

Bisexual/Pansexual/Polysexual/Omnisexual people are not inherently inferior or superior to a different label. If someone ID's as bisexual, they're not transphobic by default. Likewise, if someone is pansexual, they're not "better" or more "woke" than bisexual people.

Asexual/Aromantic people are LGBT if they want to be considered LGBT. Yes, that includes heteroromantic aces and heterosexual aros.

Which brings me to my next statement:

NO ONE HAS TO PROVE THEIR VALIDITY TO YOU

E V E R

If you see someone "straight" at pride, mind your own business. You don't have an intrinsic right to know what someone's identity is or why they're there. I know several people LGBT+ that could only go to pride if they went under the pretense that they were an ally.

Allies are welcome at pride, but pride is not FOR you.

Gender stuff

Binding with ace bandages or duct tape is not safe

Binding for more than 8 hours is not safe

Binding while you sleep is not safe

Neopronouns are valid

Gender neutral pronouns are valid

And both are grammatically correct

Not everyone transmasculine binds/packs and not everyone transfeminine tucks or uses breast forms

Not everyone transmasculine has short hair or stops shaving or doesn't wear makeup and not everyone transfeminine has long hair or DO do the things I listed

Not all trans people have dysphoria

Pronouns deserve to be respected regardless of your personal opinion of the person. Don't go around calling someone a "he" when you know they go by "they" because they never paid you back after that bag of chips that one time. You can have opinions about people, but leave their identity out of it. (If you're even a remotely decent person,) you wouldn't call someone a racial slur because you don't like them, so don't do this either.

Nonbinary people don't have to be in the dead middle of the binary to be nonbinary. Some lean towards masc and some lean towards fem and some are a mix or neither or both equally. They're still nonbinary. This includes using gender-specific pronouns.

Not everyone trans wants to/can medically transition!! If someone is pre/never op or pre/never HRT, they're still trans.

And of course, the rule that applies to everyone.

DON'T FUCKING OUT PEOPLE. EVER. I'LL COME FOR YOU KNEECAPS. YOU DON'T KNOW WHY THEY AREN'T OUT. IT'S THE LOWEST OF LOWS TO DO THIS SHIT.

Feel free to add on!

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floatingcatacombs · 4 years

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Top 10 Sexiest Mechas

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 4

Mecha is one of the most intimidating genres for anime newcomers. The plots seem overly complex, the episode counts too long, and the giant robot war settings difficult to relate to. I think that all of these are valid concerns, but that mecha often gets a bad rap when most people don’t even want to try it. What both newcomers scared of the genre and hardcore mecha fans often fail to recognize, though, is that on top of the messages of the series, mechas always represent bodies. They are giant robotic representations of their pilots, the visions of their creators, collective psyches, and/or the work’s central themes. The degree of anthropomorphism, the level of abstraction with which the pilot controls the mecha, the colors and shape and size…all of these bodily elements directly tie back to the mecha’s role in the story. Of course, if mechas are bodies, then they are also vulnerable to sexualization. So let’s take all of that into consideration and chart the top 10 sexiest mechs! I’ll be keeping it capped at one entry per series, and will talk about all media, not just anime and manga.

10. EQUUS from Concrete Revolutio

Starting off the list we’ve got a pretty weird pick, but I wanted to make sure that I shouted out this show. Concrete Revolutio is a kaiju and superhero-deconstructing delight, but when it comes to mechas it really plays things by ear and aims for the coolest setpieces possible. The protagonist’s mecha is essentially a Transformer that unfolds from a car into a centaur mecha. While the car body middle leaves a little to be desired, overall the design is a very good synthesis of Car and Horse. It’s certainly a better implementation of the centaur mecha design than say, Overwatch’s Orsia, who has a very visually muddled walking pattern because her legs are far too tiny and packed closely to each other. I’m especially a fan of the wheel joints on the knees and hooves on EQUUS, as well as the unicorn horn. Much as a centaur is an identity crisis between man and beast, Jiro is constantly in self-conflict over whether he can be a heroic protector of all superhumans or if he’s just a monster in disguise.

9. Metal Gear Zeke from Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

Metal Gear Solid is one of the most iconic mecha series out there, so picking one specific Metal Gear over all the others proved challenging. The classic boxy REX, the smooth aquatic RAY, the upright Sahelanthropus, the arachnid EXCELSUS…there’s lots of good ones to pick from! It was a tough battle, but ultimately I had to go with ZEKE, the first named Metal Gear chronologically. Designwise, the railgun and Z-shaped legs are a nice touch, but it’s the story arc around ZEKE that interests me the most. A lesbian-sourced war crime machine, ZEKE was created by MSF, the nationless nation of soldiers run by Big Boss. It ended up being hijacked by terrorists from within and nearly caused a globally eradicating nuclear exchange, which is as good of a metaphor as they get for why deterrence is a fucked ideology. Accidents happen, stockpiles become more and more sunk costs, and sometimes anime girl triple agents infiltrate your military base and steal your cool robot.

8. Char’s Zaku II from Mobile Suit Gundam

Confession time: I haven’t actually seen any Gundam. I’m more of a Macross gal myself. But I felt like not having any Gundam on this list would be like ignoring Star Wars on a space opera list. Anyways, Char seems like one of the most awful bastard characters of any series ever, so I’m happy to use a spot on this listicle for his mecha. The Zaku II is infamous for being “three times as fast” as its generic counterparts despite its only difference being its red paint, but c’mon – that’s Char’s absolute moral purity buffing his ship. You deserve that stat buff if you’ve Never Betrayed Anyone In Your Entire Life, Ever.

7. Deus Ex Machina from Promare

--Promare spoilers ahead--

Promare ends, as all Trigger works should, with a whole lot of Act 3 Bullshit. Plot twist after plot twist until all of the themes dangled at in the first half no longer matter, with nonstop fighting getting more ridiculous by the second. At our protagonist’s darkest moment, their problems get handwaved away and they are handed a deus ex machina of a mecha literally known as….Deus Ex Machina. A fusion of Lio’s jet black triangle armor and Galo’s knightly firefighter mecha, the design of this mecha represents their connection and understanding of each other. Yes, of course they’re gay. Why else would it be glistening in rainbow colors?

6. Terminus typeR909 from Eureka Seven

Another mecha anime I’ve hardly seen.. but one that I definitely want to get around to! Eureka Seven just seems like a genuinely delightful time, and I’m a sucker for romance-based mecha shows as well. Anyways, the piloted mechas in Eureka Seven are named after Roland drum machines, with the typeR909 is named after the classic TR-909. They’re nicely proportioned and there’s something sweet about the cutesy magenta robot of the fleet being piloted by a 30-year old man. I guess I’m just a sucker for the gentle undoing of gendered associations and music gear.

5. Eva Unit-01 from Nylon Genesect Evangelical

All of the Eva units are quite tall and bestial and wonderful, but it’s Eva-01 in particular that really stands out due to its conspicuous tendency to disobey its pilot and go berserk, fully unhinging its jaw. NGE takes the “mechs as bodies” thing pretty damn seriously, but throws in the delightful wrench of “what if it’s not your body that’s being represented?”

4. VF-1 Valkyrie from Macross

Macross was the first popular mecha series to utilize transforming robots. What makes Valkyries so sexy is that they’re not just limited to Spaceship and Gundam forms – they have an intermediary form. In GERWALK mode, the cockpit remains exposed having not folded into the mecha headpiece yet, and the wings are still popped out. However, the Valkyire has sprouted its arms and legs already, making it capable of landing, walking on the ground, and wielding a gun pod as a rifle. It’s kind of adorable! Stuffed to the brim with weapons and tech, Valkyries are the perfect blend of stylized and realistic robots. The Itano Circus will live on forever in our hearts as the go-to tactic when you have plenty of talent on your animation team and your mechas are armed with way too many missiles.

3. Jehuty from Zone of the Enders

While the VF-1 mecha is sexy because of its utility and folding form, the Orbital Frames of Zone of the Enders are sexy because…they’re designed with a sexual angle. They’re famous for their literal cock pits, but combined with their broad shoulders, slim hourglass waists, and pronounced thighs, they exude a strong androgynous energy. Jehuty is one of the most recognizable frames simply by virtue of being the playable mecha, but definitely one of the hornier ones too. Case in point: at the end of Zone of the Enders 2, it receives an upgrade after absorbing its sister frame to become Naked Jehuty, a stripped-down but ridiculously powerful mecha with gold sections emulating bare skin. Yoji Shinkawa’s brain is simply too big.

2. Bohrok Pahrak

Look, I can’t just not include any Bionicle on this list. They’re some of the most formative lil’ robots to me. But which one is the sexiest? That’s not really something I’ve had to consider before. While some of the titan sets such as Roodaka and Axonn have a certain sexual angle to them, it feels contrived, carrying the same kind of creepiness as horny OC designs. The Great Spirit Robot might be the super robot of the series, but its design is rather barebones and reminds me too much of The Iron Giant. So I ultimately settled on the Bohrok, the hivemind villains from 2002’s story. While most Bionicle are a combination of biological and robotic, the Bohrok are strictly mechanical – and piloted by the masklike Krana, making them mechas! You really shouldn’t fuck the Bohrok, but there’s just something so perfect about their design. They’ve got it all – not only transformability and an orb design, but transformability into an orb design. Their hunched-over stature reminds me of GERWALK Valkyries – it’s cute and functional! As for why Pahrak in particular, well, the shields it wields are vibrators. Just ignore the fact that they’re powerful enough to seismically level mountains, and you’ll be set.

1. The Entirety of Heaven Will Be Mine

You can tell that Aevee Bee and Mia Schwartz did their homework for Heaven Will Be Mine. They understand better than anyone else that a mecha is a representation of the pilot’s psyche and body, and that damage to the mecha is indistinguishable from that to the pilot. This is reinforced by the mechas being referred to as Ship-Selves – they are literally an extension of oneself more than anything else. By looking at a ship-self, you can almost immediately infer what kind of person the pilot is, what her position in bed is, and what her fetishes are. The layer of abstraction between pilot and mecha ranges from wafer-thin to nonexistent depending on the character. The side effect of this is that since HWBM is about a bunch of gay girls in space having sloppy ideologically charged hookups, the mechas have to be designed just as sexually as everything else. And by god did they deliver on that front. Some of the ship-selves, such as Mare Crisium and String of Pearls, take clear direct inspiration from Zone of the Enders frames. The Krun Macula takes some inspiration from Char’s Zaku II in terms of color and shape, but its face chimes give it a uniquely divine and powerful feeling with no mecha parallel. This perfectly mirrors Pluto’s powerlevel advantage over all of the other pilots, and her humanoid-but-not-quite ship-self perfectly represents her faction’s goals. On the other hand, the assimilationist Memorial Foundation believes in ending the space program and grounding all ship-selves to prevent the splintering of humanity. Their mission manifests literally in that each member of the faction wears some form of bondage gear to represent their shackles to the Earth, and even their Ship-Self has a spreader bar. Heaven Will Be Mine is ridiculously horny, and it has the vision, design, storytelling, music, and everything else to back it up. Truly, the best of all worlds. And if anyone who worked on the game is reading this post.,.thanks.

#12 days of anime #12daysofanime #mecha #hwbm #mgs #bionicle #macross

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youknow-i-loveit · 3 years

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Why I Still Feel Like I Need To Ask Permission Before I Do Anything Ever

Randomly hit with the realization that my parents are still holding me back because they never taught me how to act with autonomy.

They never taught me how to be assertive or how to tell people things.

(They also wrecked my self-esteem, which was pretty horrible to begin with.)

My parents were very “do this because I told you to” authoritarian types who didn’t like to answer questions, and especially hated it when you questioned them. Questioning other authority figures was okay sometimes, depending on who the authority figure was, but my parents wanted to reign over their children with absolute power.

They generally had issues with needing to feel in-control. They didn’t have great role models for what it means to be an authority figure- my mom was the youngest, doted upon and spoiled for being the only girly-girl in the family, and by the time her parents had her (the eighth child), they were exhausted and distant, permissive, laissez-faire parents- and my dad grew up under an abusive military man who routinely beat his children, who used his voice as a weapon, and when he was at work, his wife ruled through manipulation, primarily guilt-tripping. Since my dad was the second of his six brothers, he was considered to have a better idea about how to deal with children, so my mom generally deferred to him, partly because of that, and partly because if my dad didn’t feel like he was in charge, he would make sure everybody felt miserable.

And as they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My dad very much took after his father. He thought he was being toned-down and “gentle,” and bragged all the time about how he had it worse, making it sound like he was going easy on us. He often threatened to act more like his dad. But while I feel bad for him and his brothers and the abuse they endured, that gave him no excuse to abuse us the ways he did.

I could go on and on, but the point is, my parents didn’t know how to be in charge, but they felt that it was their god-given right to be in charge-- literally, they kept throwing “Honor Your Mother And Father” at us from the Ten Commandments.

My parents never admitted to being wrong. In fact, my dad hammered it in that being wrong was shameful and something that none of us should ever, ever do- ignorance was considered shameful, and if we ever dared utter the sentence “I didn’t know,” he would mock us, roar at us, and quite often, make references to that moment for the rest of the day, if not the rest of the week. It took me years to be okay with admitting that I don’t know things. To teach myself that learning should be fun and exciting, and that teaching others new information should be seen as an opportunity, not as a burden.

So my parents are proudly ignorant control freaks with an abusive streak, who want to rule with absolute authority; so far so great right?

My parents were strict Catholics who wanted us to follow their faith. They took us to church every Sunday. They enrolled all of us in Catholic school until they couldn’t afford the tuition anymore. They insulted anyone non-Catholic- even other Christians- calling them stupid and sinners and sometimes even “evil,” and considered anyone who attended Catholic church but didn’t adhere to their beliefs “not true Catholics,” so they were lumped in with the rest of the riffraff who were apparently going to hell.

We were allowed to question authority figures that didn’t adhere to their strict beliefs, and even encouraged to make fun of them, but if we ever dared to question someone who did, my parents informed us with cold, cutting certainty that we were making the wrong choice and were in danger of going to hell ourselves.

We grew up pretty sheltered. Our parents wouldn’t let us participate in most of the fads that swept up everyone else in our peer groups. It didn’t even matter when those peers were all Catholic kids attending our same Catholic school- my parents still thought their parents were making the wrong decisions, and we were effectively isolated from socializing with our peers. For a window into this, consider that I was forbidden from watching or playing Pokemon during the late 1990s. At recess, literally everyone else in my class would “play Pokemon,” whether that meant they were actually playing the trading-card game or whether they were pretending to be characters from the show. Since I wasn’t allowed to participate, I was left alone on the swings, accompanied only by one of the lunch moms who took pity on me. (Her name was Mrs. Stevenson. She was funny. I liked her. For Halloween, she wore an ugly holiday sweater with Froot Loops glued all over it and said she was a ‘cereal killer.’)

We weren’t allowed to watch Sailor Moon, or Rugrats, or Dragon Ball Z. We weren’t allowed to play with Furbies. We were allowed to accept Beanie Babies as gifts, but our parents were too poor to buy us any, so I think the most I had was about six.

We were also (wrongly) informed that people different from us were all stupid. I questioned this from a young age, asking why people were different, but instead of actually answering me, my mom would go “Exactly!” as though that settled that.

So when I asked why African Americans spoke differently or dressed differently or said things like “black pride,” I was told it was because they were entitled and because they thought they were special, but that they were foolish and wrong. It was only later, on my own, that I learned they don’t do these things to set themselves apart from the rest of society out of some weird petty desire to be special and different, but because we stole their culture from them, and they need to reclaim an identity that they can be proud of. The system is stacked against them, so every act of embracing their blackness is an act of rebellion against the system that tries to crush them every day. They speak differently because of where they live, because of history and culture that have shaped their words that way, and if their grammar is improper, that’s most likely due to underfunded school districts, but it could also be code-switching so they fit in with their peers.

And when I asked why anyone would be anything other than Christian if the Bible really was the word of God, and God was real, I was told it was because they’re too stupid or jaded to see the truth. So when my uncle came out as Muslim when I was a teenager, our family ostracized him, berated him, and made fun of him relentlessly behind his back, because we all thought he was stupid. It was years later that I became an atheist and I realized the questioning process he must have gone through, the philosophy he must have studied, the books upon books he must have read, the agonizing introspection he must have endured, all while living under his parents’ roof...

We were told that we were smart. That we were important and special.

But we were also taught that we were constantly on the razor’s edge of being undeserving of love or redemption.

Naturally, this caused me to form strong attachments to characters like Loki, Bucky, and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast- characters who others saw as monstrous, but who seemed worthy of redemption, who didn’t seem to deserve everything that was done to them, even as much as they blamed themselves or got down on themselves sometimes.

The constant messages of “you need to be perfect or else” and “you are a disappointment,” accompanied by my dad’s ridiculously high standards, made me desperate for approval.

I sought favor with my parents nearly every day, but was so often disappointed- especially by my dad. Even when I’d done something I was really proud of, he’d find ways to poke holes in it, talk down to me, call me stupid, and ask something to the effect of why I’d made such a horrible decision.

So I started looking elsewhere.

Friends. Partners. Teachers. Professors. Therapists. Co-workers. Bosses. Other people’s moms. Members of groups I joined. Anywhere I could get it, I was (and still am) constantly thirsty for validation, praise, and approval.

My parents probably weren’t trying to do this, but they taught me to constantly second-guess myself. They taught me that I needed to ask for permission to exist.

One of the things that was brought up over and over again whenever one of us would upset Mom was that “she gave birth to you.” On one memorable occasion, my dad went into graphic detail about how exactly the birthing process worked. He made it sound like some sort of accomplishment, or personal favor, that I should be forever grateful and reverent towards. But I never asked for this. Giving birth was something she couldn’t avoid. I should have never been guilt tripped into feeling like I owed her something for it.

Whenever my dad was a certain flavor of upset, he’d bark “Get out of my sight!” We would flee to some far corner of the house, behind some closed door, and cry where no one could see. In that moment, he had ceased to give permission to exist in his presence.

So when I first came out as trans, I struggled a lot, because I felt like I constantly had to ask everyone around me for permission to be myself.

It’s tragic that, in retrospect, everyone would have respected me a lot more if instead of asking, I had simply told them who I am and then been myself. I should never have felt so timid, so cowed. I should never have felt like I owed anyone an apology for asking them to use my name and my pronouns.

I should have been free to be me.

But when I lived under my parents’ roof, I wasn’t free. I was forced to hide, to pretend. I was forced to let them deadname and misgender me. I was still forced to attend church until I moved out-- I got out of attending weekly mass by pleading that it was detrimental to my mental health, after being forced to attend masses as an atheist for over a year. But in order to keep a roof over my head, I was still forced to attend Christmas and Easter mass every year, and badgered to attend more masses at nearly every opportunity.

I had to lie about who I was dating too. I had to hide all the ups and downs- the euphoria of new crushes and new relationships, the agony and heartbreak of breakups or bumps in the road. I couldn’t ask my parents for advice navigating this extremely important part of my life. Instead I had to figure it all out on my own, and lie, and pretend they were my “friends.”

My parents made me feel as though I couldn’t do anything on my own.

So to this day, I still often feel like I have to ask for help or for moral support in order to get things done. Not everything, but anything that my partner could feasibly be involved in or have any opinion on whatsoever. Filling out forms, looking things up, buying food, scheduling our week.

And anything that I’m not 1000% sure my friends would invite me to, or anything I’m not 1000% sure they want me to do, I’ll hang back on or stay silent. Any sort of physical affection that I’m not 1000% sure is welcome, I’ll hold back on or I won’t even offer, because I’m so scared of rejection or retaliation. Any complaints that I have, I’ll run by someone else first, and sit on for often weeks or months before I bring it up, if I ever bring it up, because I’m so worried that someone’s temper will flare, or that they will grow cold and distant and cut me off from their affection/ attention/ presence.

My parents never taught me how to ask for things.

They never taught me how to tell people things, simple things, like “I’m going to the store,” or “I’m a guy actually,” or say “Oh, you’re going to meet up with a bunch of people I know? Can I come?”

I’m self-taught in a lot of things, but socializing is one of them.

And as I’m sitting here typing this, I’m waiting for my partner, because we have to get through a lot of paperwork and beaurocratic nonsense this week, and even though not all of it strictly needs to involve her, I still feel like I can’t do it on my own.

It’s okay to ask for help. That’s something I’ve had to get used to too.

But sometimes I worry if I ask for too much help. >_<

#personal #abusive parents #hi i'm trans #and bi #and my parents do not like that

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ayy-spec · 3 years

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Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

· to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

· :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

· i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way.

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

#survey results #aphobia cw

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abundantchewtoys · 4 years

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Homestuck Candy p17-23 (holy shit)

So, yeah, this baby coming up.

I wonder if there's going to be callbacks to Dirk's art for Caliborn in any form. ("jake no, what are you doing - to our baby?")

John can't erase this baby in any case, since no retcon powers.

I wonder if we're going to learn its name. I kind of like one of Blaperile's theories, that he would name a boy after his Dad... It would reveal one of those long hidden mysteries in Homestuck.

Otherwise... Liv? :P

Theresa, after Terezi?

---

Page 17

Oh wow.

OH WOW.

Yeah, now we're getting to the juicy bits.

The candy is turning into diabetes around John. Details about the past are getting vague for his friends, the harmony trumping the validity of their experiences. It's all turning out a lot more existential for John in this path than I thought!

"Harry Anderson Egbert", heheh. But yeah, John has a good point. He wants his wife to have some identity, but it's like she's ... malleable, or something. Everything shapes around each other and forms the least offensive shape.

On the one hand, I want to imagine Vriska Lalonde-Maryam and Harry as childhood friends, growing up together.

On the other hand, I wonder what there is in store for this John. He's lost his retcon powers. But he says Terezi is the only thing that still makes sense to him. So maybe, if he rejects this reality, he can escape it again?

It all is going to depend a lot on what Terezi has to offer. (Going by the assumption it really is Terezi, by the way, not an imposter.)

It would really be something if this John, a twenty-four year old now, crosses back into the Meat timeline. He'd be leaving a lot behind, and frankly, be a shitty husband and father by going through with it. But yeah, Meat John is dead, has been for some time.

Jegus, John keeps filling his own dead self's shoes. Alternate John who dated Vriska. (Okay, in fact, in that situation, it was more of an inversion as the other John continued his developing relationship. On the other hand, for Davesprite, alpha John must've felt like the replacement John in the beginning.) Post-Retcon John who was killed by Typheus. Even Poppop Crocker, when he met up with B2 Dad.

The Candy path is definitely shaping up to be quite suspenseful, all expectations be damned!

---

Page 18

Wow.

Jake's so much more mature here. I want to see more of this man.

So yeah, it had occurred to me that part of the reason Gamzee hooked up with Jake and Jane could be because he was somewhat thinking of a) the other Page he was attracted to, and b) the Hope and Life players in his session, who were close to him on the hemospectrum?

But... I hadn't imagined Gamzee being Jane's kismesis. But it works so well. Got to say, it brings back memories of him on her land during the session.

So Jake and Jane had a baby! The first cross-species naming, then. After Tavros.

It's remarkable, isn't it? Dad, GCATavrosprite, Jasprosesprite^2, Nannasprite, Nannasprite*2... They fell on the wayside, we have no idea what happened to them. The sprites could've dissolved, we didn't seem them in the official credits after all, only the extra possibly outside-of-canon snaps, explaining why Jake would name his firstborn after Tavros. But Dad?

As for Jade and Davekat. Wow. Well, I guess, I really want to know now whether this revelation is also canon.

Cause Jade is either intersex or trans now, after fusing with Beq. (Also, it might be a dog penis, but capable of transferring human DNA? *Shudder.*) I can understand this would make her uneasy in exploring sexual options with Dave.

Wow. Yes, it seems that things are, in a very different but equal sense than in the Meat path, very raw and heartwrenching in this timeline as well.

At the start of the page, I started thinking for a minute that Gamzee would also find something off about the timeline. It would have been something for him to join John in pursuit of relevance, truth and all that. But no, it was just to bait Jane, it seems. If anyone, it would be Jake who might go through something similar as John.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Still said to see Jake getting the small end of the relationship stick, once again. Boy has no luck in love.

It was interesting to get Jane's honest take on politics on Earth C. If she and the others had just been honest with each other, they might have been able to struck an accord. Alas, through Dirk's meddling, it was not to be.

Also, it was funny to have Gamzee refer to the 5000-year skip in sweeps. Yeah, that... That doesn't convert well.

---

Page 19

Wow that took a turn!!

I thought it might have been time for them to discuss their relationship. How Jade has turned into the third wheel stopping the Davekat bicycle from taking off.

(Those references to Jane and Jake, I could've gone about.)

But then.

Something hit.

I thought instantly it would've been the other Jade. A moment or two I thought an ecto baby or First Guardian infant, for these three to take care off in lieu of a biological child. But no.

It's really REALLY the Postscriptum Jade!! (Well, I hope it's her, and that the Postscriptum doesn't take place on Future Candy Earth C.)

She "escaped" the black hole, into relevance, the PS said. So... It seems... As if...

Dirk was very much wrong.

Candy Earth C is going to play an important part in what's to come, yet.

Unless this Jade has only come to lift some of the people here away, like the mentioned Blue Fairy.

But in any case... It seems Davebot and Aradia can't be far behind.

This idyllic fantasy, who's already shown cracks, is about to be shattered.

What hit Jade, though, it almost seemed like those shards from the Furthest Ring, though it was called massless, here.

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Page 20

Wow.

So, this Jade is suffering from a metaphysical poison. Just like John was from Lord English's tooth. Only... This Jade went into the black hole, and last we saw she was okay.

Is it because she's back in the "real" world that it's affecting her now?

For a minute there I thought Jane and Kanaya and Karkat could actually *explain* their grievances to each other. But no, alas. Karkat, validly I must say, just exploded with everything he's pent up.

Gotta say, if the trolls are getting antsy in this timeline, just imagine how it was going to pan out in the Meat timeline! I'm reminded of the troll rebellion that was referenced in the non-canon snaps.

Also, of course. OF COURSE, these Vriska and Tavros would clash on their first meet. Everyone should've seen this coming.

If anything salvages this scene, it must be Jake being able to placate the two toddlers. It's that sort of attention that Joey and Jude deserved to get from their Pa.

It's interesting to note how Rose is no longer sure about their situation. Maybe that's the influence of this corpse and its heavily-dripped-in-canon origin.

Roxy keeps being almost a vanilla version of herself, although the intent to hold a corpse party is horribly in character for her. Still, she feels less *real* than the other characters, who all seem to be kind of recovering from their diabetes-filled state.

John and Roxy, and Dave, Karkat and Jade are in dire need of some therapy, in any case. It was nice to see Karkat telling Gamzee off though. And weird to see Jane and Roxy keep jumping to his side. Like, they have no idea of the history here, and seem to think anyone can redeem themselves if they try hard enough. It kind of shows how they're not really all that streetwise.

Oh, forgot to mention - John has a moustache now. A manly one. Dear god, he's gone full Sassacre :P

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Page 21

WHAT THE SHIT.

WHAT THE SHIIIIT.

WHAT THE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Roxy was right. The chances of all of them coming together like that, with all the stuff going on between them, are so infinitesimal.

But then she got into labor, and I thought that was that.

But

So, Aradia and Sollux turn up, and when I heard Jade had the shard still in her torso....

It would seem that this Jade isn't Postscriptum Jade... Yet.

Aradia and Sollux found a way out of the Furthest Ring on their own??? And somehow ended up on Earth C without explanation. Just when last page I almost thought as if all missing trolls mentioned in the epilogues' ToC were going to end up appearing as babies to the characters.

Karkat and Jane are in dire need of an actual debate.

Rose's lack of a good consolation was hilariously described.

But of course, the meat (Meat) of this page.

Is that Alt Calliope found a way through the Black Hole into the Candy path, and sent Reload Jade's corpse through it.

And just like in the Candy path, alpha Calliope is scared off. But it bears mentioning that Calliope herself was acting kind of weird, and was weirdly absent for a lot of the pages. It almost seemed to set her up as the narrator of this path, trying to give everyone what she thought they wanted. The fact that she and Roxy "broke character" for a moment was one of the things pointing in this direction.

But now Alt Calliope is here.

The narration is about to force everyone to confront who they really are. For better or worse.

I wouldn't be surprised if this ends with Candy Earth C as the battlefield seen in the Postscriptum. But what does that imply for Meat Earth C, where Alt Calliope ALSO put her influence to work.

She may claim not to influence, but even when she retreated into the narration, the atmosphere wasn't just magically improved over there.

Aradia and Sollux talking with Gamzee was... weird, but funny. I wonder if they are supposed to have aged some sweeps in the meantime. We know Gamzee must be about 8.5 sweeps now, while Karkat and the other trolls are about 11 sweeps.

I guess it's time we learn what Alt Calliope understands under "protecting" a world. I don't think Meat Dirk is coming over there, though I'm unsure what his grand design really is.

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Page 22

Oh my god.

what is happening.

So Alt Calliope's influence didn't really do anything at that point but upset the group.

And now a 3 year time skip took place. So... wow. They're all 27 now.

And the troll ghosts that were sucked into the black hole are appearing everywhere now. The government is going bananas, but in fact, it must all be repetitions of the same 24 trolls, how weird is that.

I'm sure that in due time, some human ghosts will be appearing too. But this is just getting ridiculous.

Karkat went underground and into the resistance. Jane, as the shadow president, is secretly maneuvering things to invade the troll kingdom. This was supposed to be the Candy path, I thought it was going to be all shits 'n giggles!!!!

I do like that John, finally, after years, is starting to realize Terezi doesn't share anything about her at all. He asked for a picture, which I guess is nice. But, just like in the Meat path, he's torn up about the girl that he didn't stay with.

This has "disaster waiting to happen" written all over it.

Calliope seems to hunker after Roxy, but she still doesn't act on those feelings. It's like a twisted inversion of the Meat path.

It's like, all the sugar we started with has been turned into energy, and the rush has dissipated, and now there's only a tummy ache.

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Page 23

Wow.

What the shit.

I could only root for John and Tavros' relationship. Seems like the little man is very sharp for his age. Since Harry is into atomic clocks as well, it seems that the tradition of children being into adult subjects like philosophy and psychology and science, continues.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

John finally couldn't take it no more, he had to scream what he'd internalized for so long. But it turned into something really messy, towards Jane and Jade. All valid points, but by losing control he most importantly scared Tavros and Harry Anderson.

The reaction of the other people was so... empty, though. Non-confrontational to a fault.

And I agree with John, Gamzee has apparently set himself up as Jane's subjugglator.

For all that Alt Calliope was saying, she sure seems to have NOT used any influence, though. And things very much have gone to shit here.

It was very cool to get to know Tavros and Harry Anderson as people, though. Tavros is indeed a kind of brother, biologically, to John (and Jade, and a half brother to June and Joey) in appearance. But it's like, personality-wise, he's more like a sad but smart version of Tavros. While his speech is colored in Gamzee's purple, ugh.

And Harry Anderson... A prankster in the making, for sure.

So, what is Terezi going to talk to him about? Is she talking to him from the end of the Meat path, just before she left Earth C? Or is she talking to him just after the other John died. :(

I can say this: I didn't think for a millisecond I would get THIS attached to people from the Candy path.

#homestuck #homestuck candy #reaction #homestuck epilogues #john egbert #alt calliope #jane crocker #tavros crocker #harry anderson egbert #roxy lalonde #dave strider #karkat vantas #jade harley #jake english #vriska lalonde

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hellenic-devotional · 5 years

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52 Deep Ass Witchcraft Questions >.<

What draws me to witchcraft? What draws me to witchcraft? Maybe the sense of belonging I feel, maybe it is the comfort I gain when I practice. I have always been drawn to the occult ever since I was a child. I cannot explain why I love it so much. It just feels right. I was lost when I was young. In the sense that I had lost my sense of family friendship and love (especially self-love).

How do I see the divine? I see them as wonderful companions and beings that I can learn and find guidance from. Lots of times they appear to me like shadows or shimmers like glittery blobs in front of me. Other times they chime into my head like ringing a doorbell or whispering in cryptic images, words, and sounds.

What in witchcraft makes me happy? I love how I feel about all of it. I love the craft and the darker sides of magic. I especially love the ways I have connected more to others and especially myself through it all.

Do I want to follow a path that has to do with a little nature or a lot of nature? I would rather stay away from any kind of nature besides dirt, sea water, moon water etc since I have this insane ability to kill any plants in my care or near me.

What areas of witchcraft would I like to learn more about? I would like to learn more about energy healing, soul work, conjuring, sea magic, and spirit work. I already work with most of these but I always want to collect more and more information.

Where do my witchy talents lie? I’d say I am confident in my dream interpretations, scrying, and sea magic.

What kind of deities, if any, do I want to honour? I honour Hades, Poseidon, Selene mainly, but any other deity who asks for help or an offering is welcome in my space. I also have a small altar planned for my spirit companions and such.

How do I believe magic works? I believe it is a combined mix of supernatural forces, your own intentions, practice, faith, and energy.

Simple or elaborate spells/rituals? Why? I really love elaborate spells and rituals, however, I am not in a position to perform them with money, time, and having to keep my craft a secret being a constant issue. So I perform simple spells regularly XD I love them just as much as elaborate spells.

What are my views on cursing/hexing? I am the biggest Pro Curse witch. I practice cursing, hexing, and jinxing on a regular basis. I love it! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I honestly couldn’t care less if someone hates me or my craft because I approve of curses. It is none of their business what I do.

Do I want to practice something similar to my ancestors? I have not considered anything with my ancestors, my family is a mess and I’d rather not dig into their history.

What are the basic morals and ethics I feel I should live by? To strive to live to your fullest (arete), keeping duty, promise, and reverence toward the gods (eusebia), having moral purity; doing what is right always and keeping a strong moral compass (hagneia), live to gain wisdom and knowledge from everywhere and everyone (sophia), having self-control; denying temptations etc (sophrosune), practising hospitality, generosity, and courtesy always (xenia)

What in nature am I drawn to; the ocean, animals, the trees, etc? I am drawn to the deep earth, it’s minerals and gems, the ocean, sea, any body of water really, the moon, flowers, and old trees.

Which (witchy) holidays, if any, would I like to celebrate and how? Currently I do not celebrate any witchy holidays. But I plan to incorporate some into my practice soon (mainly Hellenic and Buddhist holidays).

How do I believe divination works? I believe divination comes through deep within yourself, the universe conversing with your spirit, entities, spirits, and deities communicating through the tools, and the energy through the devices themselves guiding the reader. When reading the signs, symbols, and images seen through divination there are so many secrets being told and unveiled at the hands of the reader.

Would I like to work with a group some of the time, all of the time or not at all? I would love to have a permanent and stable coven who is really casual with the craft and rituals. Although I do like performing spells alone, three people would be the strongest.

Which aspects of witchcraft appeal to me most, which the least? The aspects that most appeals to me are the ability to express oneself, the openness for all possibilities, and a validation of my personal character. What I like least is the discourse it creates in some places and the prejudices against those who practice, and even the prejudice between groups of people who practice different crafts. I very much dislike the negative stigma that has been highlighted by social media, society, and most Hollywood productions.

What do I believe happens to us when we die? I believe that in death our souls will be able to travel to the afterlife that we deserve. We will be judged on our actions in life and placed in one of the hells, heavens, sanctuaries, or be reborn to learn the lessons we missed during our time on earth.

How do I see mythological creatures? I see mythological creatures as those who once had physical forms and some who still exist in the physical but are hidden from our naked eyes. Those who have become spirits still interact with the world but in a much different way than what they would have when they had physical forms.

When do I feel most magical? I feel the most magical when I am divining, speaking to my gods, and performing spells/curses...

How much is witchcraft woven into my daily life; is this too much, too little or just enough? I would like more of my craft to be a daily thing. So far I just discuss it and share information between blogs and friends. And the occasional ritual every so often.

What kind of witch do I feel I am? I am rather eclectic, I mainly focus on divination, sea and watercraft, and hedge magic.

Which texts/quotes best describe my current path?

Do I like to research and gathering info, or do I like things handed to me? I love researching and finding out new things about witchcraft. Though it is also nice when people give me information as well.

Which things about witchcraft worry or scare me? What worries me the most in the craft is mainly messing up a ritual or reading and upsetting someone I am doing a spell for or a client who asks for a reading. I’m afraid of failing people,,, especially since this is something I say I am good at.

What is my favourite element? My favourite element would have to be water.

How do I see gender (roles) in witchcraft? I don’t even know why this is asked. Like any other place in life a person’s gender shouldn’t affect anyone’s opinion of them.

Am I interested more in magic or spirituality? I think I have a more focused interest on the occult,,, however my practice is closely tied to my religions and culture so who is to say which I prefer more.

Do I like to be told how to do things, or would I rather figure it out on my own? It really depends on the situation. If I were to find myself capable enough to figure it out then sure, I would do that. However, if it was a situation in where I have no expertise or capability than I would much prefer to have someone instruct me.

What rules, if any, do I live by when it comes to witchcraft and magic? (1) never disrespect anyone else in the community, (2) always return what you are given, (3) deities, entities, spirits, and other beings are just as entitled to rightful treatment as you are so treat them with respect, (4) do not be closed minded; gather what you can from around you and use it to the fullest, (5) never use magic for ill intended personal gain, (6) curse all that you want, but never ever try to harm anyone’s life …

What do I gain from witchcraft and magic? I believe that I can gain a peace of mind when I practice my craft. It also becomes a whole new place for me to express myself, and to find my identity.

Formal or informal rituals/spells? Why? I believe both can be utilized in places where they are needed. Structure of my craft follows as its name intended,,, ride with the currents and adapt to the shape of the situation

What subject do I love to study? I like learning about ghosts, spirits, deities, entities, demons, dark spirits, curses, hexes, jinxes, sea/water magic, astrology, divination, interpretations, and potion making.

What is my favourite type of magic; candle, sympathetic, sigils, etc? I don’t think I really have a favourite?? However I do enjoy some nice summoning, conjuring and so forth.

What would my perfect witchy day be like? Sleeping in, brewing some home made magic tea, writing some curses, conversing with my guides and deities, taking some time in the day to make some successful future spells, going on a witch supply run with a fellow witch.

Would I want to be dedicated/initiated? I don’t really follow those rules? I’m a pretty secular witch as it is,,, I wouldn’t want to be initiated into a group where I do not completely trust those people.

Who do I honour (ex: deities, ancestors, myself, etc), and how do I, or would I like to, honour them? I honour my patrons (Hades and Poseidon) and matron (Selene) with libations, burning foods as offerings, practicing magic with them, studying where they tell me I need to work on,,,

How do I create a sacred/witchy space? I begin with cleaning the area, clearer space a clearer mind, then I bless it with rosemary and celery seed incense, I set up my tools and altar, then I meditate and ask for the powers of my guides and patheon to aid me in blessing the space. I am trying to keep an aesthetic for my altars and still have to plan them,,,

What do I believe is needed for a successful spell/ritual? I believe that the right amount of energy and focus is needed to complete a ritual perfectly. However I have not done many official rituals so I’d have to do that and come back to add more to this.

Which cultures do I draw from in my witchcraft? I draw from the Hellenic culture to my craft, I draw great inspiration from the Hellenic deities and stories.

What is my learning style; books, websites, videos, more hands-on? I like learning from all sources of information, though I’m not very fond of videos since I like to absorb the material at my own pace.

What, if anything, in my mundane life influences my witchcraft? I believe my emotions and lifestyle really influence my craft,,, because I am not allowed to practice such craft in my home I have to keep it secret from my family members and am forced to take other means of crafting and establishing a place to craft.

What are my hobbies, how do I (or can I) incorporate them in my witchcraft? I love to sleep?? So I do a lot of dream interpretations?? I really don’t know what kind of hobbies would mesh with witchcraft? I do like aesthetics so I strive to do everything to the aesthetic appeal.

Where do my non-witchy talents lie, how do I (or can I) incorporate them in my witchcraft? I am fairly good at planning large events and managing people, I believe I could do a great deal in organizing rituals, craft affairs or other occult like events.

What would my dream witchy life look like? What steps can I take to work towards it? My dream witch life would be me working amazingly at being a wedding and event planner, while owning my own supernatural and metaphysical store. Steps I could take to work towards it? Hmmm. Well I would have to finish school as one, secondly find and establish a place for myself in the wedding and events industry, then plan further to open my own cafe/supernatural/metaphysical store. (which I have made great plans for,,, however I have no idea which plan I would choose first).

What would my dream sacred space/witchy home look like? What steps can I take to work towards it? I would love to live in a multi floored old semi detached town house. Where there is a fine kitchen, a grand bedroom, a study and an office space where I could work on both my passions, witchcraft and wedding planning. I would like there to be a terrace as well, mainly for whatever artistic urges find me and I need a safe place to art it out. There would also be a reading area within the study where I place my alters and magic working area, in the study there would be a small stove as well so I can brew potions. I would like a bit of closet space in this house for all of my herbs, gems, and divination tools to be stored and protected. And of course a nice comfortable living space for my cat Nico to roam and make his domain. I would need a hella lot of money and good credit

What symbols correspond with me; runes, animals, flowers, gemstones, etc? Large serpents, Storms, Dreams, Blood, psionic abilities, Peaches, Moon and Sun, Twin flames

Am I an open and proud witch, or do I (need to) hide my craft? I need to hide my craft from my family, though everywhere else I am a big prideful witch who doesn’t shy from sharing about the craft.

What are my favourite witchy items/tools; divination tool, ritual tool, décor, clothing, etc? My favourite tools are my mirrors, pendulum, and tarot cards.

What is holding me back in my craft? I really think it is my own living situation, familial situation, and my financial situation that holds me back from truly exploring my craft. Alongside my growing mental and health issues.

What is my pre-spell/ritual routine? It really depends on what kind of spell I am working on. It can take up to a whole day to a few moments.

What are my ultimate witchy goals and how can I work towards them? My ultimate goal right now is to find my own place in the world before I really work hard on the plans I have for my craft. I needed to strengthen myself before I can do much more than what I am already doing as of now. My goal is to have enough funds to actually make a good enough alter for my deities and spirits, to someday own my own shop/cafe, and to finally find myself through my practice.

#jeepies this took so long to write #personal #ami speaks #witchcraft #witches #spellcraft #sea witch #sea magic #sea witchcraft #magic #spells #curses #hexes #jinxes #witch questions #52 craft questions

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bentonthegay · 5 years

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This is why overlapping identities are important

So here’s the thing. People like to point out how “X is just Y!!! Just admit you’re Y-phobic!!” Because they see overlaps in definitions. The reason why these exist is because people deserve to feel comfortable in their label. For instance, just because your pansexual doesn’t mean you’re biphobic, you just don’t personally feel comfortable with that label, or feel it doesn’t grab the whole picture of who you are. Another controversial example is homoflexible and heteroflexible. People constantly shout how it’s biphobic and they’re just bisexual with a preference...When..that isn’t the case. People don’t understand that “exceptions” to a usual orientation aren’t the same as a preference. A preference is preferring something over something else, but you still like that something else to a certain degree. An exception is different. An exception is like a very rare occurance. For example, Maybe you usually eat fruit and have no interest in vegetables. But very very rarely or under specific circumstances, you do have an interest in eating vegetables. It’s not a preference, you just usually don’t like vegetables. Hetero/homoflexible are the same. You are USUALLY ONLY attracted to a certain gender, but you acknowledge that you maybe have been attracted to someone else in the past, but they were an exception, and you like nobody else sexually/romantically of that gender, just that specific person. Knowing this happened in the past, you may not want to exactly call yourself gay or straight, but bisexual doesn’t feel right either. So homo/heteroflexible is I suppose a “Middle ground” for lack of a better word. You aren’t bicurious, because you know you have been attracted to someone of that gender, rather than being unsure or curious of how you feel.

Pansexual, Polysexual, And hetero/homoflexible do not erase the meaning of bisexual and they don’t exclude them. They’re all a part of the same pie. They all experience some form of multisexual attraction, but they are all separate pieces of the puzzle. It is wrong to accuse bisexual people of being transphobic just for being bisexual, just as it’s wrong of accusing someone who is the others of being biphobic, just for being something other than bisexual. (Both instances exist, but they do not make up a large portion of each community, there’s exclusionists in basically ALL communities)

Now onto the gender side of this. We see terms that widely overlap, but have slightly different meanings. For instance, there are many ways to describe my gender, but I picked the one that made me most happy and comfortable and I felt it captured how I feel about my gender better than the other labels I knew of. I identify as an Agender Guy. Which to me, means that most of the time I don’t feel any gender, and rarely experience feeling male. But I always want to pass as male, be perceived as a guy around cis people, I wish I had a male body, and I don’t mind being gendered as a male. I am agender, but I’m also very much a guy. Even more rare than male, I feel almost androgynous, but I don’t really include it in my gender label as it’s very rare and is more of a more androgynous masculine feeling) Gender is more than the gendered feeling you feel. Your connection to gender can vary. Which is why we have masculine-aligned nonbinary people, because they may not experience the male gender, but they feel they’re very tied to masculinity.

There are definitely other terms that could describe me, as mine is just a mix of the words “agender” and “guy” with my own meaning. I defined it my way.

For instance,

Demiboy,

Transmasculine agender

Transmasculine nonbinary

Proxvir

Boyflux/Genderflux

Agender masculine (Similarly, Libramasculine, I coined agender masculine as an alternative if you don’t want to use zodiac names, and it has a slightly different definition)

Nonbinary Trans guy

Genderqueer

Bigender (Agender + Male)

Trigender (Agender + Male + Androgyne-masculine/Androx)

Genderfluid

The list could probably go on.

My point is, is that labels exist to help us define ourselves and find communities of like-identified people who we can connect to. One of these labels never takes meaning away from other similar labels. They all have meaning to those who use it. You’re not X-phobic for being something other than “X”. You’re X-phobic if you have negative thoughts and feelings about the “X” identity or anyone who uses that identity. Gender is more than black and white, and we’re blessed with the language people have brought to the table. Because it gives us more options than the general LGBTQIA. But we still all fall under that umbrella. There are people who have used a common label for a long time because it was closest to how they felt but still weren’t content but found something similar but different and felt less paranoid about being “different than most people who identify as X” and felt happier with that label.

Don’t let ANYONE tell you who you are. YOU know who you are! If polysexual makes you happy and feel good and bisexual doesn’t? That’s okay! It exists for people who feel polysexual describes them better.

If bisexual makes you feel good but you could technically identify as pansexual but it didn’t feel right? That’s okay! Bisexual makes YOU happy that’s what matters.

Maybe you identify as the lesser known omnisexual but keep being told you’re just a pansexual who “wants to feel special”. You matter too! Your identity and how you label yourself is completely valid.

Maybe you identify as an abinary gender like neutrois, maverique, or agender but don’t feel female and are AMAB, but are also transitioning medically because that’s the body you want and not tied to your gender, Because sex doesn’t always equal gender. You exist and matter, and you if you don’t feel demigirl or something similar fits you, then you keep the identity you have!

Nobody has to fit EXACTLY into strict definitions to identify as something that feels comfortable. Sometimes the best we can do is find something “close enough” until we find something that works. Bisexual means 2 or more, and if you’re attracted to men, women, and nonbinary people, that is 2 or more. So you don’t have to pick pansexual or polysexual if you’re happy. Some definitions are left more open for that reason. Polysexual means many but not all genders. It doesn’t specify how many you have to be attracted to. Attracted to men, and all masculine genders? Attracted to all genders but men? Attracted to all nonbinary genders but not people who are strictly binary? Those all COULD fall under polysexual

Sorry this was long, but I’m tired of seeing comments like “X IS JUST Y!!!” and “Y-PHOBIC!!” When that doesn’t have to be the case. When I was explaining hetero/homoflexible, people kept calling me biphobic. All because I said this identity exists and how SOME people see the differences between the two. Exceptions does not equal preference. But they don’t seem to get that. But others who were bi agreed with me. There’s nothing wrong, transphobic, or enbyphobic about being bisexual. The identity itself isn’t any of those things, though people who ARE bisexual CAN be those things, just like any other LGBTQIA+ person can be “phobic” against other LGBTQIA+ labels. We’re all under this umbrella together, after all, so we shouldn’t be trying to invalidate other people’s experiences when we don’t sit in their shoes or experience their lives and emotions.

I’m also tired of being told I can’t be agender AND a guy. Because the way some people see gender is very inaccurate. It’s a spectrum, and you can fall on multiple spots on the spectrum in different ways, shapes, and shades.

Keep being you, and don’t let people gatekeep your experiences.

#Gender #Sexuality #overlapping identities #Long Post

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