Tumgik
#but tonight i’m just feeling sad and a little bit scared of my own body
uhbasicallyjustmilex · 3 months
Text
me: sits down to write feeling full of inspiration
chronic pain: no 🙃
31 notes · View notes
i-am-hungry-24-7 · 3 months
Text
Inhale our sorrow, exhale our future - Simon “Ghost” Riley*Reader
content warning: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, mention of domestic abuse, trauma
Word count: 890
Probably the reason why I write Ghost so much.
Hope everyone can find the love of your life, no matter it's hobbies, friends, family members, lovers etc, and don't hesitate to find help when you need :)
Tumblr media
Everyone wears a different mask to disguise themselves.
You and Simon have been together for a year, living together in your own flat — not too big, but comfortable.
but Simon knows you have a secret.
You always welcome him with homemade meals, massage his sore muscles, and sing him little songs that he enjoys so much even though your singing is kind of off-tune.
You buy him little things that remind you of him, you hug him when he is startled awake from his nightmares.
You seem alright most of the time, but he knows there’s something wrong with you.
You can’t watch TV shows or videos including a male yelling, you are startled by specific footsteps and the noise of fumbling keys, and you tense up when you hear others arguing loudly.
He found you woke up during the night, you said you were just going to the toilet, but he could hear you vomiting and panting in the bathroom.
Simon doesn’t want to push you too much or dig into the terrible memories you refuse to think of, but when he hears you throwing up in the bathroom tonight, he knows he needs to do something.
You ease his terror of his past, so he wants to help you too.
He watches you walk out of the bathroom, eyes widen a bit when you see him holding two mugs of hot tea and standing just beside the bathroom door.
“Simon, sorry, did I wake you up?” He can see cold sweat covering your forehead.
“Want to talk to you, let’s go to the living room?” He gestures.
“Alright.”
Simon turns on the TV, chooses a channel that is playing some soft music, and tosses the remote aside.
“Tell me what happened, hun?” He doesn’t want to scare you, his tone is soft like a feather, but you avoid his gaze, staring at the steam rising from the mug.
The silence stays in the air for quite a long, until you finally speak again.
“I don’t want to be your burden, Simon.” The whisper comes from you is trembling, he simply shakes his head.
“You catch me when I’m vulnerable, I can’t let you suffer from the past alone when you help me through those nightmares.” He can see the knuckles of your hand holding the mug become white from how hard you are managing to control your feelings.
“It’s you who tells me I don’t need to be a Ghost when I’m with you, you make me become alive again, I don’t need to hide my fear when there are you supporting me.” You let him take away the mug and put it on the table “So let me become your backing, okay?”
Simon hears you inhale deeply, holding your breath, and then exhale it slowly, like you are building the courage.
“Can I hug you, Simon?”
“Of course, love.”
Your warm body touches his, his arms lock you firmly against him, your hands grabbing on his shirt shaking uncontrollably.
and he hears you sobbing in his embrace.
so Simon starts singing the song, the song that you always use to comfort him, he’s not good at singing, but after a few minutes, you suddenly snort with laughter, and he pulls away to watch your face.
Your eyes and nose are red from crying, eyebrows drop from sadness, but he knows you have calmed down from the previous nightmare.
“Your singing sucks, Simon.” You laugh, and he just squeezes you back into his chest.
“Better than yours”
The quietness fills the room again, you two sit there, sharing the warmth and exchanging between you two.
“It’s just... my father.” After a few minutes, you murmur into his chest, and he hums, indicating that he’s listening.
“Throwing breakfast on my face when he’s angry, slapping my face when I'm not obedient like a "good kid" he wants, knocking down the door when I'm afraid of his anger and locking myself in my room, and other things... too many things...”
Your words trigger the bad memories from his past, he can feel the pain, the helpless feeling you felt in those moments. It hurts him, his heart broke into pieces after his childhood, and you mend him into a human again.
“You don’t have to say all of them, just know I’m always here, just like you’ve always got my back, got it?”
“mmhmm” He caresses your waist and back when you reply, but you let out chuckles and start wiggling”
“It tickles, Simon.” You back off from his hug, and the usual grin returns to your face again, there’s tiredness inside, but this time, there’s relief in it too.
“You want to go to sleep, love?”
“Not sleepy now.”
“Watch some Movies?”
“Great Idea.” You give him a virginal peck on his cheek and retrieve the remote.
“Not the same movie again, hun. You have watched it 10 times.”
“Shut up, Simon. I know you love it too.”
The blanket wrapping you two, preventing the warmth from leaving, you watch his eyes fixate on the screen, and you sigh happily.
Yeah, those memories already belong to the past, and the scar might be left there for years, but you have this man to create new memories in the future, and the love will shine in your memories forever too.
70 notes · View notes
remotepixel · 2 months
Note
Hey could I please request headcannons for how Marc and Steven would act as yandads?
Hi!! Thank you for requesting, and sorry this took longer than normal. I have mocks rn and some important exams in May and overall struggling to correctly manage my time lol.
Tw: Yanderes themes + off-hand mentions of kidnapping.
Tumblr media
Steven:
-Panic is his main mood when dealing with you; he honestly has no clue what he’s doing.
-He’ll be the one you’re around most, and normally the one to deal out any consequences for your actions (the worst you’re getting is a ‘stern warning’ and a ten-minute timeout because he feels bad).
-He’s never risen a child before, and there’s not really any textbooks about how to parent a kid your alter kidnapped. I definitely get that vibe he would read mummy blogs though out of pure desperation (he’s trying his best </3).
-Steven is a big pushover. He’ll weakly defend himself if anyone accuse him - stating he’s just trying to make you happy - but it’s obvious enough that even he can’t defend himself properly.
-He’s pretty easily manipulated through your emotions. If you start crying, or even look slightly sad, the guy immediately backpedals on whatever it was.
-Since he’s super into Ancient Egypt, he knows how important interests can be. He’ll research into what like to try and make conversation. He’ll fully support any hobbies, skills, etc and try his best to support you if he’s able to.
-While writing this, I got this image of Steven, at like fucking 2am, half-asleep, trying desperately to understand all your ‘GenZ’ references like he’s studying some ancient literature. It’s an excuse to talk to you so he’ll take it, but god he wished you were a Ennead fanatic or something to make this a bit easier.
-He gives the vibe of randomly dropping some phrases that he hears you say to try and bond. He’ll probably give up after the first time though because you just stared blankly at him and he couldn’t deal with the embarrassment.
Marc:
-I guess it makes sense but Marc and Steven are both pretty similar in this situation, Marc just likes putting up a ‘i’m in control’ façade because he can’t correctly deal with his emotions (same).
-He’s even more scared than Steven, just better at hiding it. Obviously, his view on parental figures has been greatly screwed over by his own childhood, and despite vowing to himself he would never be the same, he always worries that he’ll cross that line.
-I think out of the two of them, he’d probably be the one to kidnap you, assuming that’s what happened, but he’ll be distant at the start.
-It’s not that he doesn’t want to comfort you, he just has no clue how to do it. And he will much rather show his love in his own way than mess up with his words.
-You’ll find little things you like around the apartment, or your favourite food just happens to be the one he brought for tonight.
-Honestly, I think he’ll also be a pushover. As much as he probably shits on Steven for being so, he can’t stand to see you disappointed, and he doesn’t have the ‘luxury’ (he never asks) of speaking to you everyday like Steven does.
-After a few months, he’ll start to be more open - small smiles, etc etc - but it depends on you mostly. If you seem happier, he’ll take over the body more, maybe for a movie night or a board game.
-If you’re just as or more angry/sad than at the start, he’s remaining firmly inside the headspace when you’re around. He’d rather live through Steven than have to confront the familiarly haunting look on your face.
Tumblr media
A bit random but I have this cute thought of them putting more mirrors (or just any sort of reflective surface) around the apartment so both of them can hang out with you, even if only one can control the body.
32 notes · View notes
acidxinxwonderland · 10 months
Text
a perfect night
SFW and wholesome! Minors DNI!
Pairing: Glamrock Freddy x F!Reader 
Summary: For the first time as a family, you, Freddy and Gregory are going to see the fireworks together. It is a moment you will always cherish.
Word Count: 1.7k
 A/N:  Just a cute lil fic I wanted to write. 4th of July has officially passed but it's never too late for some wholesome times, right? It's pretty rushed and I'm pretty high so... I'm sorry LMAO
“Are you ready dear?”
Freddy stands by your side as you place some cold drinks in a small cooler, you were excited as ever knowing that tonight was the night you would celebrate your first holiday with your little family.
You stand up straight, looking up at the large animatronic bear with a kind smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be! I promise you, we are going to have so much fun.”
“I know we are my starlight. Now, would you like me to bring this and our chairs to the van while you retrieve Gregory?” He leans down, pressing his muzzle against the top of your head, lingering there for a moment.
“Yes please! We’ll meet you out there.” You tilt your head up to press your lips against his momentarily. You have a hard time breaking away, letting him grab the cooler as you turn away to go to Gregory’s room.
You gently knock before creaking the door open to see the brunette on the bed looking down at his hands. He looks up at you with a hint of sadness in his brown eyes, offering you a weak smile.
“You alright kiddo?” You ask in a gentle tone, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you.
“Yeah I’m okay.” Gregory lets out a sigh, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I’m just um… A little nervous I guess?”
“Nervous?” Your brows knit together, walking over to sit on the bed next to him. “What’s making you feel this way bud?”
“I dunno.” He shrugs his shoulders, avoiding your eyes. You decide that it was best not to pry, to let him answer on his own time. Before you even know it the boy spoke up again. “I guess it just feels weird to be doing something so normal? As like… A family.”
You feel your heart melt at his words, it means the world for him to call the three of you a family. You place your arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. His body stiffens against you before relaxing.
“So… Us doing something normal as a family together makes you feel nervous?” You question while raising a brow.
“Yeah. It does. It almost feels too good to be true, like I dunno, I finally get the chance to have something like this and I’m happy, like super happy, but I am always scared that one day it’s all just… Gonna go away.” Gregory huffs out a sigh, leaning his head against you.
Feeling your heart wrench from his words you tighten your hold on him, you understand his fear - sometimes you feel the same way.
You hum out in thought, wanting to do your best to comfort the boy you see as your own child.
“I understand you are scared of getting this all ripped away from you, but I swear to you Gregory, I will always be in your corner. So will Freddy. We love you so much and it is a blessing to have someone like you in our life. We aren’t perfect, but we are family. I will fight tooth and nail for it to stay that way.” You lean down to press a kiss against the top of his head.
There was a comfortable silence that fell between the two of you as you gently ran your hand through his fluffy hair.
“I love you mom.” Gregory finally sniffles out and you immediately feel tears in your eyes. Only recently did he get comfortable enough to bestow that title upon you and you don’t know if you’ll ever get used to it.
“I love you too bud, so much.” Your hand falls to his shoulder and you give it a gentle squeeze, it was nice to see him be vulnerable with you, something both you and Freddy had to work on together for him to be more expressive. “Are you feeling a bit better?”
Gregory pulls away from you, using the sleeve of his hood to wipe away a tear as he nods his head. “Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.” He gives you a sweet smile, it was nice to see that on the boy who lived a hard life.
“Good.” You ruffle up his hair before pushing yourself off the bed. “Now, are you ready to go see the fireworks? Freddy is waiting in the van.”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” He says with a determined look, getting up from where he sat to follow after you.
The two of you walk outside of your little home and make your way to Freddy who was eagerly waiting for you both to come out. You can tell he was excited with the way his ears wiggled upon your arrival. Although that happy expression was quick to be replaced with concern upon seeing you and Gregory’s eyes evident of recent tears.
“Everything is okay.” You reassure him in a hushed tone once you get closer. “We will talk about it when we get home.”
Your robotic boyfriend nods his head, opening the door to the drivers side for you and you hop in.
Once the three of you are in the van you start the ignition and drive to the park to see the fireworks together. With the night summer breeze flowing in through the window and the low music playing from the radio you felt nothing but serene, stealing glances over at your lover who stayed holding your hand during the entire ride.
You arrive at the park without a hitch, unbuckling your seat belt and looking back at Gregory who was playing a game on his DS. “Hey buddy?”
He looks up at you, tilting his head. “Yeah?”
“Listen, I know it makes you upset when people give Freddy weird looks but I want you to try your best to not say anything tonight, okay?”
Gregory rolls his eyes while opening his mouth to reply but Freddy quickly cuts him off with his own input on the situation.
“I understand it won’t be easy for you superstar, but we don’t want to risk getting kicked out of this event. What others think doesn't matter, what matters most is the love we all hold for one another. If anyone is rude towards me I will handle it myself, let us all just focus on having a wonderful night.” Once Freddy finishes Gregory falls silent, looking off to the side before finally letting out a sigh.
“Alright yeah, I can do that. But just for tonight.” He closes his DS and unbuckles his seatbelt. “I won’t say a single thing to anyone, pinky swear.”
“That’s my boy!” You say cheerfully, giving him a prideful smile. “You got this.”
With that the three of you exit the van and grab your camping chairs to go find a place to set up. Just as you expected you most definitely got some strange looks from others with the seven foot tall animatronic walking by your side. Everyone was still adjusting to the fact Freddy was now a part of society, even himself.
You find a nice, clear spot to set up, placing down your chairs and getting settled in. You sit in between Gregory and Freddy, feeling elated with your two favorite boys by your side.
You feel cool metal upon your warm skin and look down to see the giant paw of your lover engulf your hand. Your lips tug up into a small smile, giving a squeeze of affection.
"Are you excited starlight?" Freddy asks in this gentle tone that itches all the right spots in your brain.
"More than ever." You breathe out, staring up at him with starry eyes. "How about you?"
"Hm… well I think fireworks are a very interesting concept, but I am more happy to be here with the two of you." His grasp on your hand tightens. "I have never been so grateful to share these new experiences with you and Gregory."
You let out a small laugh. "Well buckle up big boy because we have a whole world to show you."
"And I cannot wait to see it." Freddy smiles down at you.
You lean back into your chair, grabbing Gregory's hand with your free one. You look over and notice the slight embarrassment on his face from the affection but he eases into it, getting replaced with a look of content.
It wasn't long until the show began, a single firework soared up into the starry sky that left you holding your breath in anticipation. Before you could blink a resounding explosion rips into the sky and dazzling colors paint the dark canvas above. You feel both Gregory and Freddy flinch from the sudden loud noise, making you let out a small chuckle as you give them both a gentle squeeze of reassurance.
There were a few moments of silence until multiple trails of fireworks came shooting upward, vibrant colors of blue, green, and red bursting up above. It was a beautiful sight to behold but when you looked over at the animatronic bear who was witnessing something like this for the very first time you completely forget the light show.
The fascination behind his glowing blue optics and his mouth slightly ajar from the scenery was leaving you feeling enamored, a soft smile on your face as the color in the sky bounces off his polished casing. You never felt more in love with another before, and seeing him with nothing but curiosity in his eyes made your heart pound in your chest.
Freddy finally tears his gaze away from the fireworks to look down at you, tilting his head to the side. Before he could ask if you were alright like he always does when he catches you staring you lean up to press your lips against the cool metal of his muzzle. Despite the fireworks exploding in the sky it felt like it was just you and him for a few moments.
Once you pull away the sounds, smell and lights come back into focus all at once. His look of admiration was clear as day as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. You look back up at the sky full of sparkling lights raining down, stealing glances over at Gregory to watch the captivated expression on his features.
This truly was the perfect night.
56 notes · View notes
bratshaws · 1 year
Text
through the hourglass 112. brb x oc
Tumblr media
a/n: hey yo. I'm not the greatest still but I couldn't help myself...idk what it says about me when I feel like I write better when im sad. l ol
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: none. ROOSTER IS THE BEST HUSBAND
goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)
chapter
1/
50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88
/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105
/106/107/108/109/110/111
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls
@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2
@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12
@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva
-
She turned in front of the mirror so many times it gave her whiplash. Since tonight she came home early from the bar, it gave her enough time to get ready and dress up in a way it’d be…good for the event.
Nicole was with her parents already, their little girl was so used to this that she just hugged her mother and waved at them. Meanwhile Beatrice had to be dragged by Rooster back into the car, feeling like she was ready to cry because she’d never see her daughter.
Again, overreacting.
Now she was kneeling in front of their sink, her makeup all thrown over the marble and the dress she wore pulled up to her upper thighs. Her head was being held by her hands and she didn’t know what she could do, because she feared this wasn’t good enough. The dress, obviously was, but the makeup? It wasn’t that fancy, the dress was a light pink peasant sleeve dress with details in gold in the seams.
It was simple but it was obviously Marcus’ style. Beatrice inhales, fixing her low braid every now and again, only to flap her hands because she couldn’t tug on it any longer, “Damn it, okay,okay.” she breathes out, standing to her feet and patting her knees, only to pace around in the bathroom, “I’m okay, everything is okay. I’m okay!”
“Bea?”
“I’m okay!”
The sudden yelp leaves her husband silent for a few seconds, possibly because of shock, but she hears his voice again after a few seconds, “Baby…I just wanted to check on you…are you sure you are okay?”
“I…yes.--no.I’m so nervous.”
“Are you dressed?”
“Just need to put on my shoes…Rooster.I-I’m scared.”
She hears him shuffling outside, getting closer to the door and gently parting it just enough for his voice to come clearer, “Can I come in?” she hums positively, stepping back to give him enough room once he got inside. Bradley opened the door fully, his eyes immediately dragging down her body, appreciating how that fabric hugged her curves and stopped a few inches above her knees.
He licks his lips, still holding onto the door handle, mainly to keep himself upright, “...damn.”
“Roos.”
“I’m sorry gorgeous,I’m…” he drops his gaze again, “Admiring…fuck you look so good.”
“I do?”
He just gives her a confused look, snorting a laugh, ‘Hell yeah, you do.” he gets closer after shutting the door, still dragging his eyes up and down her body, “Give me a full view.” and he spins his index finger, the request is enough to make her laugh a bit, complying after a few seconds. She’s…very nervous, and clutching her hands together, she looks absolutely stunning but clearly felt out of her own space.
Beatrice chews her lower lip, gesturing to her face, “And my makeup?”
‘It’s perfect.”
‘Is it too much?”
“No, course not.” he smiles,gently brushing his thumb over the light blush on her cheeks. This one was artificial but it worked just as well as her actual one, “You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.”
Beatrice’s eyebrows lowered and her smile widened, the little spark of courage shining in her eyes after he said that was enough to make him lean down and kiss her forehead, “You look like a fairy.” she laughs softly, the sound light and almost relieved, “Listen…I know neither of us are part of shit like this, we aren’t high society…but you worked with Marcus, he invited us. He wants us there.”
“I know…”
Rooster takes hold of her small hands and brings them to his lips, kissing her knuckles, “Gorgeous, come on.” he shakes her hands a bit to get a response out of her, ‘You know you can do this.” she drops her gaze to the ground, chewing the inside of her lip, “You did it before, you had your face on a billboard. In the middle of the street…for four months.”
She gives him a small side smile, “I appreciate your support,Roos…it really…I…I just get so nervous with social stuff like this. I’m used to the bar, hell even the reunion was bad but I managed it…but this? I’ll see famous brand designers from all around the world and what am I going to do?”
“You’ll be there,” he drops her hands only to place his on the flare of her hips, ‘With me,” he brings her closer, “Looking absolutely beautiful, making everyone wonder how the hell is someone like you real…and I’ll be there holding your hand, your waist or your ass if you need any more support.” that sneaks a chortle out of her, one she tries to hide by pressing her face to his chest, “You’ll do so great,gorgeous.”
Beatrice peeks at him through her lashes, chewing the side of her mouth for a few seconds before inhaling shakily, for courage, “Yeah, you are right…it’ll be great.”
“It will.”
“...just…if I feel too overwhelmed-”
“We’ll get out of there before anyone notices us.”
Beatrice’s smile softened over his response, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his lips, ‘Thank you.” she says, running her hands down the fabric of his shirt - he looked so good in dark blue it should be illegal. Marcus knew that too, or else why would he send Rooster this outfit? -  “I’m going to put my shoes on and then we can go.”
He stays there for a few more minutes, then kisses the top of her head, “Okay.” he whispers, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Beatrice slowly breaks free of the hold he had on her hand, dropping her own to her side when Rooster leaves the bathroom. She stood there, one hand on top of her heart and a thankful smile on her face…sometimes she wondered if he ever imagined he’d join a fashion launch when he was younger.
Or even when he was older.
His line of work was so specific after all.
But Beatrice didn’t have time to think about that now, she was already anxious, the last thing she needed was worry even more, adding his own thoughts to the mix. She quickly slip on the beige high heel sandals she had, wincing when the strap slapped against the back of her ankle in her hurry.
She walks out to see him sitting on the bed, hands clasped between his legs and his smile widening when he saw her, “Ready?” she only nodded in silence, grabbing her clutch and shuffling over to him, immediately grabbing his hand, “You’ll be okay.”
“Hrrm!” was her disgruntled response, “I don’t feel like throwing up yet, so that’s good. The nerves could be calming down.”
“It’ll be fine…do you know where this will be?”
“At Marcus’ house, it’s…on the hills.” she mutters, “You know, the place where neither of us would ever dream of stepping on.”
“Until now.”
He was doing a great job in pushing her pessimistic thoughts aside, Bea could even think clearer with him speaking to her. She hoped it’d stay during the night, “Yeah…until now.” she lets him lead her down the stairs, the dogs circling them as they walked to the front door, Beatrice could just barely pet them before they left, her hand felt…sweaty and gross, almost felt wrong to give their dogs parting caresses.
She flexes her fingers with a grunt,”I’m sweating like a sinner in church.”
Rooster looks down at her hand, seeing that she pulled out some hand wipes from inside her clutch to rub them almost obsessively. The sound of the moist tissue rubbing against her skin was a repetitive squeak that she didn’t seem to notice.
Rooster just watched, his hands on his hips and head partially tilted, hoping that she’d notice his eyes on her and finally remember that everything was going to be okay. Beatrice does so, slowly, her hand wet because of the lavender scented wipes, eyes wide and worried much like before, “Sorry.” she says sheepishly, quickly tossing the used wipes in their trash can, “I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm…I better get in the car before I chicken out,Roos.”
He opens the passenger door for her, smiling sweetly because even when she’s nervous she’s the cutest being on this planet, almost sinking into the seat and keeping her knees up to her chest, sandals abandoned on the floor as she hugs her legs. 
As soon as he enters himself, he gives her one last look as he turns the car on. She’s still hugging her legs, still looking worried and she has a little pout that only appears cuter because of the red lip tint on her lips, “Baby.” he calls once, gently plucking one of her hands from her legs, “You’ll do great. You’ll be great.” she barely nods at him and he knows she’s mentally preparing herself for whatever it was that the night was going to bring.
He wasn’t upset by her silence, because he did see the smallest lift of her lips when she heard his voice, so he just kissed the back of her knuckles and kept her free hand interlaced with his, driving one handed to the address that Marcus gave them.
He had to admit it was quite a distance from their house, in fact from…a lot of places they knew. They neared a part of San Diego that smelled rich, it looked rich and well, it was pretty rich.
“This is the place where the Oda clientele live.” Beatrice tries to joke as soon as they are allowed to enter the gated community after the guy in front let them pass. Rooster chuckled softly, agreeing with her and both tried to contain their surprised stares when they rolled inside…because those houses were huge.
Beatrice leans closer to his shoulder when they drive past another one, “I think Meryl Streep owns this house.”
“Wouldn’t she live in LA?”
“I mean,I heard she had several properties…even in New York.” she muttered, propping her chin on his shoulder, “Do you think any of the Kardashians will be at this launch?”
“Maybe.” he says, “Does Marcus even like them?”
“...I don’t know,maybe.”
Rooster smiles back at her, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb on her jawline, “You’ll be okay.”
Beatrice makes a little noise on his shoulder, but her smile widens and he feels her thumb gently brushing against his knuckles. She nods, but then slowly lifts her head when she sees the immense line of cars leading up to a dark colored house with thick coconut trees surrounding it. She could see Hangman’s car, so that meant Evelyn was there too…and she also felt a shiver dart up her spine.
“Oh God…this is happening.” she whispers, “This is really happening,Roos.”
“It is gorgeous.”
"There 's no…turning back.”
Rooster feels her body straight as a rod against her seat, her eyes wide and brows furrowed as she quickly slips the sandals back on, “Baby.” she isn’t listening to him, she’s back in her focused state and he could only chuckle quietly as he rolls to a park, not so far from the entrance. He waits a bit with his hands on his thighs for Beatrice to say something, his wife instead lifts her hands in front of her body and he could see the slight tremble.
“...I’m shaking.’ she says, clenching her hands into fists, curling into herself on the seat, her forehead touching her knees and hair covering her face, “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” his large warm hand touches the bare part of her back, rubbing it in soothing circles and dragging his fingers up and down her spine, “Rooster….Is there anyone outside?��
Rooster tilts his head to the entrance, “A few, mainly security.” he mutters, “No one famous that I know of.”
‘Do you think we can get out?”
“I think so…do you feel ready to?”
She lifts her torso to give him a worried look, “I don’t think I have a choice anymore.” and she laughs nervously, her smile immediately disappearing into a blank look, “What am I doing?” she groans, sinking even more, almost hiding herself into the seat, her hands on her temples, “Jesus Christ,Rooster. What am I doing? I-I…this…I don’t–”
“Baby, baby listen.” he holds her hands,kissing her knuckles, “You are about to hyperventilate. It’s okay,I’m with you. We’ll go in there, keep to ourselves and leave if you feel too overwhelmed.” her lower lip wobbles a bit, “Hey, baby, pretty girl. Look at me.” he has to cup her chin to physically turn her head towards his, “You’ll be okay.”
“This isn’t my world, Roos.” she whispers, “I don’t know if I should be here.”
Her self doubt was screaming and he could see it. He was sure that she’s been triggered ever since early morning but now it was getting too hard to handle, “Baby, you deserve to be here…hell, you worked with Marcus, he likes you and is so thankful for you.” he sees her eyes flick to a group of skinny women walking past the car, their dresses beautiful and flowing with the wind, “...you are gorgeous, you are beautiful and you are deserving to be here.”
Beatrice looked so scared she couldn’t even reply, she just held her hands tight, knuckles going white with how strong her grip was, “I…” she looked back at the people, then towards Rooster, “I…okay…”
“Okay?” she nods quietly, not humming nor saying anything, mostly because she felt ready to cry at any second. He kisses her hand, then her forehead, keeping his lips there for a few seconds just so she could relax before he walks out of the car to open the door for her. He waits for Beatrice to take his hand, she hesitates, looking from him to the house then back at him, “You can do it.” he whispers, spreading his fingers as his hand got closer to her face, “You can do it, gorgeous. You did it this far.”
Beatrice chews her lower lip, eventually dropping her shaking hand to his and letting him pull her up. She tries to not bury herself into his chest when he does so, choosing to stay partially behind him with her eyes squinting because of the wind as he locks the door.
My my my, what are you doing here?
Oh no.
Wrong party, wrong place, wrong time. What do you think? That you are special?
She tries to ignore the goblin voice by rubbing her arms, creating an invisible shield around herself only to see more skinny models making their way to the house.
If you hurry, you can run off. No one will miss you, maybe not even Rooster.
She clenches her eyes, bouncing on the spot for a few seconds with her heels clicking on the ground. She then leans forward a bit, holding herself up by placing her hands on her thighs, smell the flower, blow the candle. Rooster stays in front of her, looking around like the watchful husband he was, glaring at anyone who seemed to stare at his wife for too long. His hand returns to her upper back, gently rubbing the skin “Come on,gorgeous.” he whispers, the cold of his wedding ring soothing her nervous and hot skin, “You can do it, just for a little while.”
“J-Just for a little while.”
He hated seeing her like this, but he was serious. They’d stay a little while, hell,even less if she got worse, “Yeah,gorgeous. Just for a little while. Can you do that?” Beatrice nods, slowly standing straight and sniffling a bit. She teared up just enough to form tiny splotches of eyeliner on the corner of her eyes, he wasted no time in gently wiping it away, “There you go, fucking beautiful.” she gave him a weak smile, “Okay…hold onto me.” she already clasped his hand, “Give me the invitations, you won’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
He knew she was too anxious to talk to anyone now, so she just opened her clutch to pull the light green papers out, “Thank you.”
“Anything for you,gorgeous.” she laughs softly when he says that, waiting for him to close the door and dropping the hand from hers towards her waist, bringing her closer to his side as they walk up to the entrance of that enormous house. It was beautiful, with several plants around the front, four large security guards that just looked around ominously to everyone that walked in, a teal colored light illuminated the inside.
Amazingly neither of them could hear anything from the inside, no music, no voices, just a subtle vibration of what could only be assumed was a beat. Beatrice looked at the ‘WELCOME’ mat below her feet as Rooster talked to the security guards outside, choosing to focus on how the letters curved up instead of anything else.
As the doors opened however, they were faced with a long illuminated hallway and the vibration only getting louder, with the distant echo of a song being played. Beatrice looked around the hallway, following the trail of lights that disappeared behind dark doors, doors that had doorhandles with golden ‘MB’ engraved into it.
Before either of them could open it however, they parted automatically and they were hit the music. It wasn’t that loud that’d break their eardrums but it was enough to vibrate on the floor. Beatrice however, stood still once she noticed the amount of people in there, her fingers digging in her clutch so hard she could hear the fake leather creaking, “Hrn..” was her disgruntled noise, shuffling almost behind Rooster, “T-There’s a lot of people.”
There wasn’t, but in her mind, it was enough.
“A few.” Rooster said, hugging her close to his side, his eyes moving around a bit until he noticed two people in the crowd, “I see Evelyn and Jake.”
She perked up, “Really?”
‘Yeah…think you can go there?” 
Beatrice looked over to where he gestured and nodded silently, “Yes,I think so.” she whispers, “I don’t see Marcus anywhere.”
“He’s probably mingling, it is his launch party after all.” Rooster comments, slowly walking forward with Beatrice glued to him.
Run, you should run. Before the doors close. Can you run that fast? Of course not, you’ll mess up Beatrice. You know you will.
She hated that this stupid voice returned now, right now when she was trying her best to get better. All it needed was a bigger social gathering than her reunion to make itself known again.
Run,run,run, that’s all you can do…that is, if you could do it.
“Shut up.”
“Huh?”
Beatrice’s head snap up towards Rooster, her husband giving her a worried look, ‘Oh,um…nothing just–”she gestures to her head with an awkward laugh, “It’s um…um…kinda messing with me.” and of course Rooster’s brows lowered because he knew how hard she’s being with herself.
She was going to have a good time, he was sure of it. And he was going to help.
“It’s okay, gorgeous. Is it quiet now?” he asks as he leads them through the sea of people to where their friends were.
“Kind of.”
“Just let me know if it gets worse.” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head and then her forehead, “I’ll snatch you away in a second.” and her little smile was enough for him to smile back, gently brushing his thumb over her lower lip. 
Evelyn was the first one who noticed them, slowly standing to her feet - Jake’s hands hovering by her sides and back - with a small grin, “You two got here fashionably late.” she said, her eyes immediately dropping to Beatrice’s deer in the headlights expression, it was obvious her anxiety acted up by the way she was looking around. She greets Bradley first, then immediately turns to Beatrice once he talks to Jake, “Are you okay?”
She gets a weak and shaky thumbs up from her friend.
“Are you sure?”
“Y-Yeah.I…I am just,” she turns her head when she sees someone walking by,”Is that Gigi Hadid?”
Evelyn looks up, “No she’s not here yet.”
“Yet??” Beatrice looks ready to pass out, her smile going from kind to nervous, “Oh…ahaha, she-she’s coming then.” she feels like her legs are wobbling so she holds onto Rooster to remain standing, “Oh that’s…that’s nice.”
Rooster stops the conversation to look at her, “You okay?”
“Gigi Hadid is coming.” she says, “To the party.”
“Really?” Beatrice holds onto his arm for dear life, “...you’ll be okay,gorgeous. You won’t be alone.”
Beatrice’s little laugh is the only thing he gets, followed by a squeeze to his arm. “Maybe I should get drunk- no that’s a bad idea.” she mutters, both Evelyn and Jake looking over at her, “It’s a bad idea. No I’m just…going to stay in this very spot. With you, not moving until the party is over.”
“I mean,” Evelyn comments, “We’ll still have to watch the launch,so…”
Beatrice’s face got even more desperate and she only clung to her husband tighter, “You know what, maybe I should get drunk.”
64 notes · View notes
hbyrde36 · 1 year
Text
Caught in the Undertow
Chapter 4: Nightmares
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 AO3
*TW* suicidal thoughts/ideation etc.
*EDDIE*
Eddie lays there staring at the wall for a long time after Steve leaves. He feels like a hollow shell, drained and numb. Like a spectator in his own body, everything is just a little…unreal. He tries to playback the events of the evening in his mind and finds more than a few blurry spots but, he remembers enough to know he fucked up. He let the ugly parts of himself show a little too much and in front of far too many people.
And Steve – He had been right there, in the bathroom. Eddie’s never let anyone see him like that before. He won’t be able to brush it under the rug this time. Wayne knew he got into moods of course, as did some of his friends. No one could hide 24/7 but no one’s ever seen…that.
He had completely broken down on that floor, just...chest torn wide open and Steve had seen it, all of it. Eddie was caught between embarrassment for his actions and disappointment that he couldn’t go through with -it- and now he was going to have to deal with the consequences. He should never have come here and he definitely shouldn’t have drunk so much.
At some point in his musings a soft knock comes at the door. He ignores it, not up to facing Steve again tonight. But then someone is talking.
“Ed? It's Wayne, I’m gonna come in alright?” He doesn’t wait for a response before opening the door and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Eddie rolls over and looks up at his uncle. Part of him wants to talk, to explain, make an excuse, or something but his mouth won’t move. He can’t make the words come.
Wayne seems to be having trouble with his words too.
“I…Steve called, he was worried about…what…”
Wayne closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before trying again.
“Son, I gotta be honest. I’m scared out of my mind right now. I knew you were struggling but…I had no idea. I can’t lose you, I won’t.” Wayne says finally, voice trembling.
Seeing the kind of pain, he’s putting his uncle through is a little too much, and cracks start to form in armor of numbness he’s been wearing since Steve asked him drop the knife. Eddie’s vision blurs as silent tears start rolling down his face, he still can’t bring himself to speak.
It shouldn’t matter really but Eddie is almost relieved to realize that his uncle still thinks this is all to do with what happened over spring break. He thinks it’s whatever happened to him that’s traumatized him, sent him spiraling. Wayne doesn’t realize Eddie has always been this way. He decides it’s a good thing, thinks his uncle might blame himself for missing it all these years otherwise, as if Eddie hadn’t done everything possible to make sure no one knew how he truly felt inside, ever.
Wayne takes one of Eddie’s hands in both of his. “I’m starting back at work tomorrow and there’s no way around it. Steve’s offered to have you stay with him for a while so you won’t have to be alone.”
Eddie finally finds his voice although it is lacking its usual fire.
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
Wayne sighs, “You’re an adult and I can’t force you to do anything but, I am asking, begging, you to stay here with Steve. I told you once back in the hospital, you need people around you who get it. People who know what you’ve been through and – Frankly, I think that boy needs you every bit as much as you need him.”
Eddie scoffs.
“Just give it a chance. He seems to care about you a great deal. Talk to him, or hell – any of your other friends, it doesn’t matter who but, you have to start talking to someone.”
Wayne bends down, pressing a kiss to his forehead before quickly leaving the room. He couldn’t help but notice that the man had been shaking.
The door’s been left ajar and Eddie can see Steve nervously hovering out in the hall. “I’m gonna go to bed, do you um…need anything?” Steve asks, softly.
Steve sounds guarded, and sad. Eddie knows it’s his fault but he’s very much not ready to face those feelings so he latches back on to his favorite safety net – anger.
“I’ll stay here if that’s what my uncle wants, fine. But that doesn't mean I have to like it and it doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to you. Got it?”
“Yea. I got it.”
“What’s any of this matter to you anyway, what do you get out of this?”
Steve just shakes his head. Maybe he’s had enough for one night too.
“Good night, Eddie” he murmurs quietly, shutting the door.
-
For three days Steve let it go. He didn’t try to talk to him and he never knocked on the door. He left food, water, soda, all kinds of things outside his door several times a day. The one time they did manage to run into each other in the hallway going to and from the bathroom, Steve had kept his eyes cast down and all but sprinted away from him.
The morning after that first night, Eddie found a familiar bag sitting in the corner of his room. Wayne must have brought it, he hadn’t even noticed. It was filled to the brim with his comfiest clothes, his Walkman with an assortment of tapes, and a few of his favorite books. He hastily changed his clothes, having still been wearing jeans from the night before, and settled back into bed with his things. He was still feeling a little raw and out of it but the familiar music and stories helped to ground him.
The days are long. He hasn’t been sober for more than a few hours at the time since the hospital. The first day was hell, off and on at least. After that, it’s not so bad if he’s honest and he actually starts to feel the thick fog of badwrongbigsad start to lift.
-
For three nights Eddie listens from across the hall as Steve screams himself awake. Nightmares.
Eddie has had his fair share of bad dreams, though it happened more when he was a child than it did now. Weed and alcohol usually take care of it.
He figures this must be pretty normal for Steve after his several rounds with the upside-down. He’s probably used to this. That’s how Eddie justifies it anyway, doing nothing more than sitting in his bed and listening to it happen.
Something's different on the third night. This time Eddie is already awake when the screaming starts. He had slept most of the afternoon away so of course he was now wide awake at 3am, reading The Hobbit for the millionth time.
Unlike the previous nights, Steve's screams continue to build and build. Eddie is amazed that he hasn't woken himself up yet from the sheer volume. His heart jumps into his throat, however, when he hears Steve call out his name at the end of a choked off sob. 
He’s out of bed and across the hall before realizing he’d moved. He finds himself standing outside Steve's door, fist raised to knock and he freezes.
The screaming had stopped but now he can hear Steve crying. Is he awake? Is he okay? Was he awake when he said Eddie’s name, or was that park of the nightmare? A creak and a thud warn Eddie that the other boy must be getting out of bed and he panics, scrambling to get back into his own room before he can get caught lurking in the hall.
Back inside, Eddie listens at the door. Eventually, light footsteps approach but much like he himself did a minute ago, Steve walks away without knocking.
The other nights Steve had stayed in his room, Eddie assumed he’d just gone back to sleep. He wonders what was so different about this nightmare that had Steve fleeing downstairs.
Reality washes over him like a bucket of cold water and, oh god. What was he thinking, what has he been doing? Steve, this poor guy, who clearly has his own problems and barely sleeps, has just been trying to help him, to be his friend. All at once can see just how much of an asshole he’s been.
But it wasn’t all at once, was it? Not really. If he’s honest, Eddie's feelings towards Steve had been gradually softening. Day by day, hour by hour. Maybe he’s just finally reached the end of his longest-ever depressive episode. Maybe he didn’t like the way Steve sort of flinched away from him that one time they saw each other. Maybe it broke him a little to hear Steve cry out his name like that.
Whatever the reason, he no longer feels quite so trapped in the darkness. It’s time. He needs to fix this, wants to. He owes Steve an apology at the very least. He can try to explain that he’s just kind of fucked in the head, and Steve hadn’t done anything wrong. Who knows, maybe Wayne is right. He will try to open up to Steve, to trust him. In the morning, he promises himself. He’ll talk to Steve in the morning.
*STEVE*
“He hasn’t left the room Robin, it’s been almost 24 hours since Wayne left and he hasn’t come out at all” Steve whisper-shouts into the phone from where he’s sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor.
“I’m sure he just needs some time, that was a pretty ugly scene last night. Did he ever take the food you left out?”
“Yea actually, I checked again before calling you and it’s gone. so at least he’s eating I guess.”
Robin didn’t know the half of how ugly it had gotten. He called her that night, after Eddie’s uncle left, fully intending to spill his guts about everything that had happened in the short time since she and the others had left. In the end though, he couldn’t do it. It felt – wrong to share something so big and sensitive without Eddie’s permission. He felt bad enough that he had basically forced his way into the room, though he’s glad he did.
He did tell her that Eddie would be staying with him for a while. He just skirted the truth a little about the why. He told her Wayne was concerned about Eddie being alone at the trailer because of how many people still thought he was guilty and he was worried about what people might do without a witness to interfere, now that he was back at work.
Honestly, it was a valid concern so it didn’t even feel like a lie. He’s not sure Robin bought it, after all, she had heard what Eddie shouted in the kitchen, but she didn’t press him about it.
“You know, we never really talked about it,” Robin ventured.
“About what?” Steve asked, puzzled.
“Why you couldn’t let him go, why you fought so hard to save him that night. Don’t get me wrong Steve, I'm so glad that you did, you saved his life but…”
“He’s our friend Robin, I would have done the same for anyone. He got thrown into this thing with no warning and…he was so brave. Dustin is alive because of him.”
“I know honey and I get that but, what about after? You spent almost as much time in that hospital as he did even after he refused to see any of us. You made friends with his uncle, and now this?”
“I just want to help him Rob, it’s not a big deal.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything and I'd never judge. I love you, dingus. Nothing could ever change that.”
“I love you too, but I promise you there's nothing to talk about.”
Deep down Steve knows what she’s getting at, he’s not as dumb as people like to think. On the surface though, he hasn’t even begun to let himself think about it. He doesn’t know why every day it had felt like he couldn't breathe until Wayne would call him with an update on Eddie’s condition. He hasn’t let himself consider what it means that, in the quiet moments, all he can think about is the boy upstairs.
Robin must decide not to push, and Steve is grateful for it. Instead, she goes off on a twenty-minute tangent about her last interaction with Vickie. The rambling is so normal, so Robin, that by the time they hang up he feels almost relaxed.
-
Steve is exhausted. He’d started having nightmares right after that first fight with the Demogorgon in ’83 and they had never really stopped. They got less intense over time and eventually he’d even get a break for a few days at a time. That is, until the next fight came, and then he’d have to start the whole process over again. 
The past two nights had been rough. The days weren’t much better as he was equal parts worried about Eddie and frustrated at having to walk on eggshells in his own house.
No, that wasn’t fair. Eddie is having a rough time and Steve just needs to be patient. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Or not. At least this way he knows the guy is alive.
-
Steve is running, full out. He’s not sure how he knows that something is wrong, he just knows he needs to keep running, he has to make it in time. Finally, in the distance, he can see them. A giant swarm of those fucking bats. Some are just hovering but many of them are focused on attacking a lone figure on the ground. Eddie. Steve doubles his efforts but no matter how hard he pushes himself it’s like he’s running barefoot through molasses. He’s close enough to see it when Eddie drops to the ground. His arms and legs seemingly pinned to the ground, as his body is ravaged by those goddamn monsters. Steve starts screaming at the top of his lungs, hoping to draw the attention of the bats.
There’s something in the back of his mind telling him no, this is wrong. That’s not how it happened; you weren’t there for this part. Distantly, he realizes he’s dreaming. It’s only a nightmare. None of those facts do anything to lessen his terror.
By the time he reaches Eddie’s side, the bats have dropped. Eddie is covered in blood head to toe, lifeless eyes pointed skyward. Steve knows he’s gone but he still shakes him by the shoulders, Eddie's name falling from his lips on the end of the sob. He doesn't wake up. He’s gone, Steve was too late. The bats have completely torn out his throat, this time no amount of CPR will save him.
Steve wakes, gasping for breath and still sobbing. His body is coated in a layer of cold sweat and his face is damp. He clamps a hand over his own mouth to stifle the sound and hopes he didn’t disturb his housemate.
He throws the covers off and all but falls out of the bed, landing on the carpet on all fours. He hates that particular nightmare the most, and he’s been having it a lot lately. He won’t be able to close his eyes again without seeing Eddie’s bloody and lifeless face.
Knowing he won’t be going back to sleep tonight, Steve pulls a pair of sweatpants up over his boxers and grabs a t-shirt before venturing out into the hall. He pauses for a moment at the door to the guest room. He would feel a lot better if he could see Eddie alive, just for a moment, with his own eyes. Honestly at this point he would settle for hearing a light snore from within the room, but the house remains utterly silent.
He can’t bring himself to knock. Sighing, he slips away down the stairs and hopes that a few hours of TV will be enough of a distraction.
-
Four hours. Steve has been sitting on the couch staring at the TV for four hours and he hasn’t heard a single word anyone on the screen has said. Not much of a distraction, as it turns out.
His mind can’t stop running over every moment he has spent in Eddie’s orbit. He  cycles through the events of spring break, the hospital, the other night, and finally the nightmare. Over and over again. Relentless.
It’s got him so worked up that he can feel a migraine coming on. There's a certain stiffness to his neck and the telltale throb behind his eyes. That lack of sleep probably hasn’t helped either but he’s choosing to blame it Eddie for now.
He’s frustrated, angry even. At Eddie, at this whole situation really. Is he really going to just hole up in that room forever? It’s not just about himself either, whatever Eddie is going through, what he’s doing is affecting the kids too. They miss their friend. Steve didn’t really know Eddie before, he’d get over it. Probably. But Dustin will be devastated if he doesn’t come around soon.
Everyone keeps telling him to give Eddie time. Even Steve gave the same advice to the kids. He’s only been here a few days, sure, but he’s been out of the hospital for weeks. He’s had plenty of time and all he’s done with it is push everyone further and further away.
Fuck it.
Steve storms up the stairs, not bothering to keep his steps light. He knocks harshly on Eddie’s door, toe tapping on the floor with impatience as he waits.
When Eddie finally opens the door, it’s clear that he’d been asleep. He squints into the dim light of the hallway and stifles a yawn.
“Steve?”
He barges into the room, all but pushing Eddie out of the way. He paces back and forth in front of the bed, angrily raking a hand through his hair. Eddie just watches him, eyes wide and confused.
Eventually Steve starts to talk. At first, it’s a babbling incoherent mess of unfinished sentences.
“Where do you get off…”
“Do you think you’re the first person to ever…”
“I can’t believe you…”
Realizing that he’s making no sense, Steve stops walking, takes a deep breath, and tries to swallow down a little bit of the feeling that’s bubbling up in his chest.
“I know you’re having a really hard time right now, I get that, okay? But it’s not okay for you to just close yourself off from everyone who cares about you.”
“Steve, wait. I…” Eddie tries to interject but Steve is having none of it.
“No! I'm not done. Dude, do you think you’re the only person in the world who gets depressed? The only one who’s thought about ending it? Fuck, sometimes the only reason I can find to get myself out of bed in the morning is for the slim chance that the kids could need me. And now that it’s over, this upside-down shit? God, what are they gonna need me for now, huh? A ride every once in a while, a house to hang out at? They’re not kids anymore, pretty soon they’re gonna stop calling. Even now, sometimes I think I could disappear and the only person who’d care is Robin, and she’d get over it. I mean, you can’t just…”
Steve stops, realizing that he’s lost the thread at some point. This isn’t quite what he had planned to say but the throbbing in his head is starting to get worse and he thinks he might throw up.
He groans, lurching forward as the world around him sways. He braces for the fall but it never comes. Instead, warm, strong arms wrap around his waist and guide him to sit down on the bed. Eddie had caught him.
“Woah there big boy, let's sit you down before you hurt yourself.”
Steve ignores the way it feels to hear Eddie call him that again. He tries instead to resume his speech, as off the rails as it had been, it’s important to him that Eddie understands…
He opens his mouth to speak but his breath catches in his throat as Eddie raises a hand to gently cradle his cheek.
“It’s okay Steve, just relax for a minute.”
“But…”
“I get it. okay? I’ve been selfish, and a real dick. I mean, I think at some point we’re gonna have to talk about some of the things you just said but… Listen, man. I owe you an apology. I know it doesn’t exactly make sense but I've been SO mad at you this whole time. I know that’s not right, you did nothing wrong and I'm so, so sorry for how I've been acting.”
Eddie sighs, pulling his hand away from Steve to wrap both arms around himself. Steve immediately misses the contact but pushes the thought away. This conversation they’re having is too important.
“Why were you so angry at me Eddie?”
Eddie fixes him with a look that says, I think you know.
“I know but… I just want to understand.”
“Please don’t make me say it again.” Eddie whispers.
The timing couldn’t be worse as another wave of pain and nausea hits Steve. He knows he doesn’t have long before he’ll be all but useless. Eddie looks him over with concern.
“Sorry, I get these really bad migraines. Too many shots to the head over the years, I guess.”
“Jesus…what do you usually do for them, do you need to lay down?”
“Yea but it’s just…you’re finally talking to me and –”
“Steve, I promise you I will still talk to you when you’re feeling better, okay? We’re just pressing pause for a bit. Now, tell me what I can do to help.”
Eddie helps him back to his room and tucks him into bed. At Steve’s direction he fetches a cold pack and pain meds from the kitchen, along with a glass of water and some dry toast.
He does it all without complaint and he’s actually really sweet about it all. Once he has fetched everything Steve needs, he expects Eddie to leave. He always feels a little vulnerable during these attacks and he’d rather not be alone, but he doesn’t know how to ask him to stay.
Somehow, Eddie seems to sense it and instead of leaving he shuts the door, flips off the light, and gently crawls onto the bed next to Steve, sitting himself up against the headboard. All he can do is smile, and hope that Eddie knows that it means - thank you.
Steve closes his eyes, hoping that at some point sleep will suck him under. For him, sleep has always been the easiest way through these headaches. It startles him a little when he feels hesitant fingers in his hair. The touch is light, soft. It feels amazing and Steve makes what he hopes sound like appreciative noises. Eddie’s movements become a little surer after that and Steve thinks he must have hit the mark.
Thirty minutes later the painkillers have finally provided a little relief and Steve finds himself nodding off into a mercifully dreamless sleep.
-
Steve wakes to an empty bed. A glance at the clock tells him it’s early afternoon, he’s been asleep for hours. For a minute he thinks he might have dreamed the whole interaction with Eddie from this morning but then he spots a note sitting on the desk next to the medicine bottle.
Take another dose of meds before you come downstairs, it’ll help. – E
Steve chest warms. He finds it incredibly adorable that Eddie signed the note even though they're the only two people in the house. Who else would it be from?
The migraine is mostly gone and he's feeling much better but still, he takes the advice and downs a few of the pills before padding downstairs.
The sight that greets him is not something he could have ever imagined. The radio is playing softly, some song Steve doesn’t recognize and Eddie Munson is dancing around his kitchen.
Not only that but he seems to be cooking something and it smells amazing.
Eddie must catch sight of him out of the corner of his eye. He shrieks, jumping back with a hand pressed to his chest. “Jesus Christ! You could give a guy a heart attack sneaking up on him like that!”
Steve chuckles, grinning so wide it’s almost painful.
Eddie narrows his eyes but he’s smiling too. “How long have you been creeping, Harrington?”
“Sorry! I just got here a second ago so I didn’t see much I swear.”
“Sure, you didn't - you little voyeur. So…how are we feeling?”
“Much better, thanks.”
“Good, that’s great! You hungry at all? I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of throwing something together for us. I figured it was the least I could do. Also, I maybe got a little bored after you fell asleep.”
“I’m starving actually and whatever that is smells incredible. Thank you for doing all this.”
Eddie shakes his head. “Don’t thank me, man. You’ve been taking care of me for days, as much as I’d let you anyway. I’m just returning the favor.”
Steve pulls out a couple plates and Eddie loads them both up. They take their food through to the living room and settle in to eat side by side on the couch while something plays low on the tv. The food turns out to be some kind of spicy pasta dish with chicken, it’s absolutely delicious and he tells Eddie as much.
Eddie shrugs off the compliment with a hint of shyness. It’s not something he’s used to seeing on the guy. “Wayne’s been working night for years, it was either learn to cook or resign myself to a lifetime of shitty frozen dinners.”
Steve purposely keeps the talk light while they finish up the meal but as they both set down their empty plates, he can’t think of a good way to transition to the more serious talk they need to have. The silence stretches on a little too long as he flounders for what to say.
Eddie once again seems to know what Steve is thinking without him having to say. Some day he’ll have to ask him if he’s just that good at reading people or if he is, in fact, a mind reader.
“Alright, I promised I’d talk when you were feeling better. So, here goes nothing…”
“This… isn’t anything new for me. I think I’ve always been like this. Once, when I was a kid, my dad had gotten picked up for some drug charge or another and my mom was nowhere to be found so I ended up in a group home for a little while. I think I was about ten. I vividly remember lying in bed at night and staring up at the ceiling just begging god, or whatever greater power might be out there, to take me. Just let me die in my sleep. I don’t even really believe in all that stuff, it’s not like we were a church going family but damned if I didn’t pray for it anyway. It wasn’t even a particularly bad place, I’d seen worse. I was just in so much…pain. I felt wrong and so alone and I just wanted it all to stop. I’m sorry I’m sure that makes me sound crazy.”
Steve waves the idea off. “There’s nothing wrong with a little crazy. I’m sorry you felt that way, that you still feel that way. Have you ever thought about, you know, seeing someone about it?”
“Like a shrink? Steve…I live in a trailer park. Something like that isn’t exactly in the budget. Besides, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable sharing all my secrets with a stranger like that.”
“I get that. Sometimes I think everyone in the party could use a little bit of therapy but it’s not like we can talk about the upside-down or demo-monsters without bringing the government down on our asses. So, it seems a little pointless.”
Eddie nods in agreement before carrying on. “I’m not always like that, though. I enjoy my life a lot of the time. I love my friends and Hellfire and my band. I’ll go weeks without so much as a negative thought but then – boom - I’ll just get hit with these awful feelings. Sometimes there’s a reason, right? Something shitty happens and I sulk about it for a while. But other times it just comes out of nowhere.”
“What usually helps when you get like that?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. Usually, I just hide myself away for a while until I can at least pretend to be normal.”
It hurts Steve’s heart to hear that. Eddie’s been dealing with this all on his own, his whole life. “You don’t think it would help you to talk to someone? Not a doctor, I mean, but like Wayne?”
“I can’t dump that stuff on him, he does enough for me already. I never wanted to worry him.”
“Okay well, what about me? I know we don’t know each other all that well yet but I already know about the weird shit so no problem talking about that stuff. I don’t know what kind of secrets you have but I gotta say, with everything we’ve both done and seen, I don’t think there’s anything you could tell me that would bother me or freak me out.”
Eddie considers him for a long moment and Steve desperately wishes he knew what the other boy was thinking.
“So, if I were to tell you I was gay, you’d say…?”
Steve should be surprised, and maybe he is, a little, but it’s vastly overshadowed by something that feels a little like relief or maybe hope? Now isn’t the time to worry about that though. This is about Eddie and making sure he feels safe, comfortable, and accepted.  
He turns, making sure to look Eddie firmly in the eye as he answers. “I would say - thank you for telling me and I’m honored you would trust me with such an important piece of yourself.”
Eddie eyes widen and he lets out a little surprised gasp. “You really are something else, Stevie.”
Part 5
20 notes · View notes
thebigshotman · 2 years
Text
Not sure if I’ll be able to get to any of the asks surrounding the SOUL storyline tonight (and there are a couple! Thank you to the anon for keeping these shenanigans going) but in case I don’t have time I bring you all a slightly sad headcanon that popped into my head this morning!
I noticed that I tend to write Spaul…a bit looser when he’s around other Spamtons. With the occasional exceptions of Skuld and The Beast because depending on the situation he can be quite scared of them. And I think that’s because being around other versions of him, no matter how different they are, makes him feel more comfortable with his broken body and speech.
Like, for so many years, he thought he was alone, doomed to a fate worse than death with this flailing, plastic body and strange, commercialized speech glitch. But now…he’s not. All of these variations of him, with the same glitch and mostly the same personality, if not necessarily the exact same body. It’s…relieving. Interactions with his counterparts gives him an excuse to be himself.
So yeah! He’s more loose and excitable-and just plain a little different-around other versions of him because they make him more comfortable to be in his own body.
Anyway, that’ll be it for now! Asks may or may not come later and threads will be answered the next time I’m in the car heading back home. Farewell for now!
2 notes · View notes
ppersonna · 3 years
Text
swipe right - jjk | m
Tumblr media
“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers
♡ summary-  after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?
♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)
♡ word count- 9k
♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.
♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks​ and @hongism​ for the perusal and help in writing this!
Tumblr media
Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.
He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.
Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.
Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.
“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.  
You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”
“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”
You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.
“I’m at our park.”
Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.
“Give me five minutes, okay?”
You nod, even though he can’t see you. 
“Okay.”
Tumblr media
Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.
He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.
You still look so beautiful.
And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.
He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.
“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.
He sniffs haughtily. 
“The trash added character.”
Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.
“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.
He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.
“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”
You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.
“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”
Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.
“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.
“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.
“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.
Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.
He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.
“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”
“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.  
“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”
Tumblr media
As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.
You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it. 
“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water. 
He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk. 
“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” 
Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo. 
“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?” 
You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above. 
“You call Jimin a prince?” 
Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband. 
“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.” 
You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?
“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.” 
“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.” 
You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own. 
“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.” 
“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.” 
Tumblr media
Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid. 
It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom. 
The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed. 
Tumblr media
The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it. 
Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can. 
Tumblr media
“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”
Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone. 
The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway. 
He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk. 
His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read. 
He just matched with YOU. 
His best friend. 
His secret, lifelong crush. 
He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it. 
YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!
He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen. 
JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?
You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other. 
Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message. 
JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀
Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone. 
A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend. 
YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies
Tumblr media
“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone. 
Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion. 
“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”
You huff. 
“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”
Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband. 
“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.
There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line. 
“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”
You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend. 
“It’s nothing!” 
“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.” 
“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”
“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.” 
You roll your eyes. 
“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”
“I’ll be expecting your call later.”
“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”
“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”
You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.
“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.
You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.
So, why do you care so much about what you wear?
You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.
Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?
The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.
You shake all thoughts off. 
No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.
You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.
Perfect.
With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.
JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!
ME: See you soon!
Tumblr media
Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.
Is he too casual?
He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.
Maybe it’s too much.
Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.
Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.
He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.
He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.
It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.
You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.
“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.
He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.
You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams. 
“Jungkook?”
It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.
“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.
“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.
“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.
“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.
“Oh?” He asks, taken aback. 
In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.
“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”
His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly. 
“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”
The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”
A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.
“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures. 
You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.
“Well, are we going?”
Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.
But he resists.
“Let’s go!”
Tumblr media
You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen. 
But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. 
Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is. 
But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork. 
Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.
And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you. 
It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause. 
“What’s up?” He asks curiously. 
Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner. 
You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours. 
“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”
Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own. 
Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to. 
As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.
“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.
Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.
“What? We were going to get ice cream?”
You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.
You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.
“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.
His body stiffens.
“Okay, let me walk you home.”
You shake your head, already moving away from the man.
“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”
He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.
Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.
Tumblr media
You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.
“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.
“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”
“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.
“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.
“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator. 
Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.
“We’re on our way over.”
Tumblr media
Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.
Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.
Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.
“Tell us what happened,�� Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”
Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.
“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”
Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.
“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”
Jimin nods knowingly.
“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”
“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”
Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze. 
“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”  
You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face. 
“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”
Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”
Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”
Tumblr media
Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.
You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.
Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light 
speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.
“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.
Ouch.
You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.
“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”
Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest. 
“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”
“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”
“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”
Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.
“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone. 
“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”
You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.
“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”
“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.
He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”
“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”
He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.
“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”
“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”
“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”
You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.
He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.
He can’t watch you run away from him again.
Tumblr media
“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”
Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.
“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”  
He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.
The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.
“Hi Kook.”
The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.
It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others. 
Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.
Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.
“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.
The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.
“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”
He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.
“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”
He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park. 
“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”
The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too. 
“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”
He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.
The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.
“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”
The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.
The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.
“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”
The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth. 
“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”
His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm. 
He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.
“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”
Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.
Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.
Tumblr media
The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.
It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.
It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing. 
Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.
Maybe it was too late.
You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it. 
“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”
“You should have brought a jacket.”
The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face  down the intruder.
Jungkook.
He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.
He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.
“You came.”
He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.
“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.
“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”
He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”
You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.
“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.
“Every word.”
His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.
“Why did you run away?” Another step.
You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.
“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”
One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck. 
“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”
You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”
All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes. 
“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently. 
“And I promise to never run away from you again.” 
Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel. 
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself. 
“I would like it if you would.”
As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again. 
Tumblr media
“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with. 
“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing. 
“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”
Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss. 
Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.
“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip. 
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”
He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours. 
“You’re such a little smartass.”
His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly. 
He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed. 
“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?” 
You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement. 
“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.” 
Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited. 
“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle  his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs. 
His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge. 
“Oh fuck,” he breathes. 
“Feels pretty real, huh?”
“Y-yeah.” 
Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more. 
“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.” 
Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable. 
One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan. 
“How about this? Not a dream?”
He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water. 
“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”
You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently. 
“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue. 
“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue. 
You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets. 
“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”
He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully. 
“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.” 
He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body). 
Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are. 
“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”
Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down. 
“Still dreaming?” 
He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire. 
“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.
You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes. 
“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”
Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart. 
“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”
His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout. 
His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.
“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?” 
His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.
“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug. 
Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing. 
“I plan to find out everything.” 
Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.
“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.
“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.” 
He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss. 
He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you. 
“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.” 
Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body. 
He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.  
He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands. 
“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.” 
His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation. 
“You’re so pretty. So perfect.” 
He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.
His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.
One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.
“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”
His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.
“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.
“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”
Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.
“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”
He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.
“And I need you, my love.”
“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”
Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.
“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off. 
He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.
After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air. 
“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”
You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.
“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”
He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”
“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”
He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”
A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.
“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”
“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”
Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.
“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”
You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.
“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”
Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.
“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”
“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”
Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.
“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”
Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.
“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”
He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.
“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”
You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.
“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt. 
He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.
“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”
The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation. 
“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”
A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.
He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.
“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”
With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.
“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”
You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”
His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion. 
He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.
Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.
After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.
“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”
You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.
“All yours.”
Tumblr media
“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship. 
You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.
You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.
“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”
Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.
“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”
Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”
Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister. 
You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.
“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.
“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”
Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.
Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.
“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”
You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.
“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”
Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.
“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”
You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.
“Sure, Kookie.”
He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”
Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”
Tumblr media
tag list - @giadalin @nohayarcoirissintormenta @pjmislovely @xhazmania @marcoazam2 @eggbutnotyolk @feel-the-sunset @unicornbabylover @aretha170 @jeonmisha @hordanhearsawhooo 
Tumblr media
© ppersonna - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.
6K notes · View notes
waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
Text
Swedish Fish
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Synopsis: at an awards show where you and Tom are nominated for a lot of awards together, you poke fun at the rumors about your relationship
Masterlist
Tumblr media
“Hello!” A journalist greeted you and Tom as you approached her on the red carpet of a low stakes award show. “You two are looking amazing.”
“Thank you.” You beamed, feeling the excitement of the night settle in with your first interview.
“Thanks so much.” Tom nodded in appreciation as he rested his hand on your back.
“So you two are nominated for quite a few awards tonight. How are you feeling? Nervous? Excited?” The journalist asked before holding her microphone out to the two of you.
“I’m really excited to be here. I’m more excited to be Y/n’s date, though. Look at her in this dress.” Tom stepped back so the camera could get a better look at your long red dress. “She’s better than any award.”
“Stop it. I don’t want to be flushed in the interviews.” You leaned against him as you briefly buried your face in his neck to hide your blush.
“Aw.” The journalist pouted at the camera. “So you two came here together?”
“We did. Almost all our nominations are together so it seemed like the right thing to do.” You explained as you kept one hand resting on Tom’s shoulder.
“That was my excuse for why I asked her.” Tom joked. “I really did it because I wanted to make everyone jealous that I had the prettiest date.”
“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes. “He just wanted me as his date because he knows I bring snacks.”
“You brought snacks?” The journalist laughed into the microphone.
“I did.” You nodded excitedly. “I have like 6 types of candy in my bra. I have cookies and chocolate in my purse. You don’t even want to know where I’m hiding a granola bar.”
“I really want to know now.” The journalist raised her eyebrows at you.
“I’ll find out later and let you know.” Tom winked and you smacked him playfully.
“It’s the Nature Valley kind though so I’m scared to eat it.” You laughed. “They’re so crumbly.”
“Maybe you can step outside and eat it. Like a little snack break.” The journalist suggested.
“I could. I’ll do it during one of the boring speeches.” You joked.
“Who’s speech would you leave during?” The journalist asked you.
“Probably Tom’s.” You stated and he nodded along it humor you.
“Yeah. I tend to ramble.” He shrugged, making you laugh.
“Alright well I’ll let you guys get to the rest of the carpet.” The journalist said. “Thank you for chatting.”
“Thank you! Enjoy the night.” You waved goodbye to her as Tom picked up the train of your dress to make walking easier.
“She didn’t ask if we were a couple.” He whispered in your ear as you posed in front of the photographers.
“Are you upset that she didn’t?” You laughed as you looked at him.
“Frankly, I’m a little offended.” He said through a smile while keeping his eyes straight ahead.
“Don’t be. I’m sure we’ll get asked soon enough.” You told him. As far as the public was concerned, you and Tom were just friends. After being nominated for multiples joint awards for your performance as a couple in Far From Home, you had made a plan to tease the media if you won in an attempt to get them to stop asking if you were together.
“They better.” He grumbled in your ear before the both of you laughed.
He kept his hand on your back as you walked to the next journalist, the train of your dress in his other hand.
“Hi!” The journalist smiled happily at you as you stopped in front of him.
“Hello!” You matched his energy with a bright smile.
“Hey. How are you?” Tom asked politely.
“I’m doing well, thank you.” He nodded. “You two have quite a buzz around you tonight. Apparently you’re the couple to watch.”
“Any couple that’s half Tom Holland is a couple to watch. Haven’t you heard of Gyllenholland?” You raised an eyebrow and laughed.
“But that’s a bromance.” The journalist protested. “This seems more like a romance, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Unfortunately, we’re not together. There’s just something about me that he doesn’t like.” You sighed dramatically and looked away, making Tom and the journalist laugh.
“It’s the face. I can’t get past it.” Tom played along as he squished your cheeks between his fingers.
“So you’re really not a couple?” He asked as if he didn’t believe you. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Nope. Just friends.” You shook your head.
“Best friends.” Tom grinned at you before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“You two are adorable.” The journalist commented. “And you’re nominated for a lot of awards together tonight, aren’t you?”
“We are. And that’s the way it should be. I think people enjoyed our movie as much as they did because of what we created together. It was a two person job and I’m glad it’s being acknowledged as such.” You answered honestly, making Tom’s heart soar.
“Not all of the nominations are for the both of us, though.” Tom brought up. “Y/n is nominated for best actress. And guess who’s presenting that award?” He smiled proudly.
“That’s right! Congratulations.” The journalist praised you.
“Thank you. I’m really grateful for all the nominations.”
“I’m so proud of her. I can’t wait to give you that award later.” Tom looked at you fondly.
“If I win.” You reminded him.
“Of course you’ll win.” He scoffed. “I voted for you everyday.”
“Thank you.” You rested your head on his shoulder momentarily to thank him for his support.
“So if you do win one of the joint awards, who gets to take it home?” The journalist asked you.
“We’ll just have to win them both I guess.” Tom shrugged playfully.
“I hope you do.” The journalist smiled. “I’ll see you guys out there. Good luck.”
“Thank you.” Tom shook his hand before leading you towards the entrance of the building.
“Should we find our seats?” You asked him as you checked your lipstick in a compact mirror.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” He nodded before taking your hand and walking with you inside.
~
An hour later after a few performances and wards had been given out, it was time for you and Tom to present an award. You nervously chewed your bottom lip as you waited for your cue, going over your prepared speech in your head.
“You ready?” You whispered to Tom, sensing he was as nervous as you were.
“I’m never ready to read, especially not in front of thousands of people on live television.” He laughed nervously. You gave him an assuring smile as rubbed his back to calm him down.
“Hey, if you can’t make out a word, just squeeze my hand. I’ll help you out.” You told him. Tom smiled back and slipped his hand into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“We haven’t started yet.” You laughed at his action.
“I know.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to hold your hand.”
Before you could respond, a man with a headset came up to you and gave you a thumbs up.
“You’re on in three, two…”
“Hello everyone. We are here to present the nominees for best actor in a horror film.” Tom announced into his microphone. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see any of these films because the ticket guy always thought I was a child.” He feigned a sad face, making the audience laugh. Their positive response calmed your nerves as you held your own microphone up.
“But don’t worry. I made sure I explained the plot to him once I got home.” You added.
“Only two of them made me wet the bed.” Tom read off the prompter, one of the lines he and you hadn’t written yourself. He made a face that you couldn’t help but laugh at, calming you even further.
“I can’t believe you read that line.” You laughed into your mic.
“I know. Who wrote that?” He wondered and the audience laughed along.
“Tonight, Tom and I are nominated for Best Onscreen Couple.” You continued. “Our chemistry on screen has left a lot of people wondering if we’re a dating in real life. We’re not, by the way.”
Tom was quiet for a moment as he blinked in confusion, hesitantly raising his microphone to his lips.
“We’re not?” He asked you as if this was the first he was hearing of it. It wasn’t, of course, as you had rehearsed this many times. Your face fell just like your practiced as the crowd laughed.
“No, we’re not.” You answered him flatly.
“I just - I thought we were.” His eyes darted around as he played dumb.
“Tom. We talked about this.” You said out of the corner of your mouth.
“But…but we make out all the time.” He said and the audience erupted with laughter. “Like what about that time in your trailer?”
“That was strictly platonic.” You shrugged.
“And in the elevator?” He asked.
“You had something stuck in your teeth. I was just being a good friend and getting it out.” You smiled smugly as you looked out at the crowd.
“All those times in my car?” He emphasized, making even you laugh.
“I was method acting.” You said simply.
“But - but it was months after production wrapped.” He reminded you, earning some applause as the audience caught on to what you were doing.
“I like to get really deep.” You insisted.
“Oh.” Tom looked at the floor for a moment before snapping into a smile. “And here are tonight’s nominees.”
You paused and let the audience laugh at your bit before reading the nominees off the prompter. Tom put his hand on your back, making you look at him. You smiled widely at your successful joke and he smiled back before taking your hand and giving it a squeeze.
~
You were sitting in your seats once again, impatiently waiting for the first category you were nominated for to be announced.
“I’m kinda nervous.” Tom leaned over to whisper in your ear among the buzz of the crowd.
“Would bra candy make it better?” You chuckled as you pulled a small Swedish Fish out of your décolletage.
“Has this been on your bare body?” He laughed in disbelief as he took the candy.
“Maybe?” You said sheepishly, looking around for anyone who might overhear.
“I can’t stand you.” His whole body shook with laughter as he popped it in his mouth. “It tastes like how your perfume smells.”
“Really?” You grimaced. “I don’t know how I feel about it.”
“Me either.” He sucked it out of his teeth. “Can I have another piece?”
You shoved his playfully for the bad joke before fishing another out for him.
“Here.” You placed it in the palm of his hands. “Wait, shhh! They’re announcing the winners.”
“This is really chewy.” Tom commented ad he struggled the swallow the candy. You ignored his problem as you excitedly gripped his arm. He continued chewing but managed to slip his hand into yours and clutch it anxiously as the nominees were read.
“And the winners for best onscreen kiss are…Tom Holland and Y/n L/n in Spiderman: Far From Home.”
The audience erupted into applause for the two of you, but all you could hear was Toms incessant chewing.
“Stop chewing. We gotta go.” You giggled as you pulled him out of his seat.
“Mhhhfh hmhph.” He said through a mouthful as he pulled you into a celebratory hug. You held hands on the way up to the podium as the infamous kiss played on the enormous screen. You hugged the presenter before standing in front of the microphone and beaming at the crowd.
“Hi! Thank you so you much for this award. Its always such a huge - - woah.” You trailed off and looked at Tom up and down, gulping loudly into the microphone.
“What’s wrong?” He asked you.
“There’s a lot of sexual tension up here.” You blew out a breath and fanned yourself. “Whew.”
The audience laughed at your bit but you were determined not to break.
“I was about to say.” Tom tweaked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at you. You both fidgeting with your clothing in an attempt to look busy as you avoiding eye contact.
“Um.” You laughed awkwardly into the microphone and gripped the podium. “What was I talking about?”
“I believe your last word was ‘huge’.” He said weakly, finally making eye contact with you. A chuckle went through the crowd as more caught on to the joke. You held each other’s gaze for a moment before quickly looking away.
“Right.” You nodded. “This is such a huge…a huge… sorry, what’s this award for?” You pretended to wipe sweat of your forehead as you turned around to read the screen.
“I believe it was Best Kiss.” Tom said before taking a deep, dramatic breath. You stared at each other for a long time, the only sound in the room now being your swallow breaths.
“Are we - - are we about to kiss?” You asked through a forced laugh before making your face completely serious. Tom raised his eyebrows before nodding and beginning to lean it. You leaned in to and right before your lips could touch, your heads snapped towards the crowd.
“Thank you so much!” You held up the award with a huge smile. “We love you guys! Thank you!”
This got a much bigger reaction than the last time as people cheered and laughed at your performance.
“That went well.” You gripped Toms sleeve in excitement as you walked back to your seats. “We got a lot of laughs.”
“I got a lot of laughs. You were a little flat.” He teased, pretending to flip hair behind his shoulder as you sat down.
“Mmm. Love you too.” You cupped his chin and narrowed your eyes at him. The actors and singers around you congratulated you on your first win on the night, all saying you got them with the fake out kiss.
The evening continued with an elated cloud over your seating area as you and Tom soaked up the win.
“Is it just me, or are the cameras hovering around us?” He said suddenly, calling your attention to the many cameras pointed in your direction. You waved at one and the camera man waved back.
“Trying to catch a stolen kiss I presume.” You shrugged as you gripped the award.
“Like we’d ruin the surprise.” He scoffed and put his arm around your shoulders. The second award you were nominated for together was next and your leg was already bouncing.
“I’m gonna be more disappointed in not doing our acceptance speech than I’d be in losing if we don’t get this award.” Tom said, practically reading your mind.
“I know.” You squeezed his knee anxiously. “Fingers crossed.”
“Good luck, darling.” He pulled you in closer and pressed a kiss to your temple.
“I don’t need luck when I have the best screen partner in the world.” You raised your eyebrows at him as you leaned into his body. You stayed in that position as Vanessa Hudgens read the nominees.
“And tonight’s winners for Best Onscreen Couple…Tom Holland and Y/n L/n!” She announced with a smile.
“See?” You smirked at Tom as you stood up.
“Guess I should tell you you’re welcome.” He teased as he scooped you into a tight embrace. He gathered the train of your dress in hand and helped you out of the aisle.
“I’m shaking.” You whispered to him as you made your way to the steps of the stage. “I’m gonna fall.”
“I got you, darling. I won’t let you fall.” He said as he took your hand with his free one and helped you up the stairs. You hugged Vanessa tightly once you got to the podium, whispering in her ear about being a fan.
“Thank you so much for this award.” Tom began your rehearsed acceptance speech. “I’ve always wanted to win best couple.”
“Onscreen couple.” You leaned towards the microphone to correct him. He looked at you in confusion but kept a smile on his face.
“What?”
“We won for best onscreen couple.” You pointed behind you. “Not best couple.”
“Oh.” He nodded like he understood. “So what did we win Best Couple for?”
“We didn’t, since we’re not a couple.” You said slowly, bringing back your joke from earlier in the evening. The audience chuckled as Tom made a show of reading the award and the screen behind him.
“Are you sure?” He asked suddenly, as if he didn’t believe you.
“Oh My God.” You groaned as you rubbed your eyes.
“Cause I feel like we are.” He gestured between the two of you. You shrugged a little and scooted closer to him while batting your lashes.
“I mean…do you wanna be?” You feigned shyness as you tucked some hair behind your ear.
“I don’t know.” He fumbled with the buttons on his suit jacket. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged and looked away. “What do you want to do?”
“I could get my mom to text your mom and they could set something up.” He suggested as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Okay.” You smiled and picked up the award. “Maybe later we could like, you know.”
You shrugged and he laughed shyly.
“Uh Huh.” He nodded eagerly. “Or we could do like whatever.”
“Yeah.” You let out a shaky breath. “Whatever.”
The two of you smiled in appreciation at the crowd before walking off, award tucked in the crook of your elbow and hands intertwined.
~
“This is the one I’m most excited for.” Tom told you as you waiting for Best Actress to be announced. Tom was the one presenting it, which only made your anxiety spike.
“But it’s just me.” You laughed as you looked at him.
“I know.” He shrugged bashfully. “You don’t need me to win. You’re the real reason people voted for us.”
“You’re just saying that.” You shook your head and put your hand on his bicep.
“Cause it’s true.” He insisted. “You got this.”
“Thanks for voting for me.” You answered sincerely, dragging your fingertips along his cheek.
“How could I not?” He tilted his head before getting tapped by one of the stage assistants. “I gotta go. Good luck.”
He brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles before following the assistant backstage.
You ran your hands over the arm rest, wishing Tom was still beside you to calm your nerves. You only had to wait about twenty minutes before Tom walked on stage with the envelope in hand.
“Nice to see you all again.” Tom greeted. “I know it’s strange to see me without my partner in crime, but she’s busy running through her acceptance speech in her head. Have I pissed off all the other Best Actress nominees? I bet I have.” He joked, earning a few laughs.
“Here are tonight’s nominees for Best Actress.”
You clapped for very nominated actress, noticing the wink Tom sent you when your name was displayed on the screen. Finally, it was time to announce the winner.
“And the winner of Best Actress is…” Tom’s eyes flicked up from the card before looking down again. You shut your eyes tightly and it felt like there was no air in the entire room.
“Y/n L/n.”
Your eyes flew open when you heard Tom call your name. You looked at the stage first, seeing him clapping and whistling for you with a proud smile. The people around you congratulating you, patting your back and rubbing your shoulders as you walked towards the stage. Tom had tears in his eyes as he met you at the top of the stairs, helping you stay balanced in your way to the podium. Tom got there first and took the ward off the podium and held it out to you.
“Here you go, baby.” Tom handed you the award.
Before you could take another step, he took your face between his hands and kissed you firmly. He smiled softly at you once he pulled way as you touched your fingertips to your lips in surprise.
He stepped back and let you move towards the microphone, still feeling flustered from the kiss and the win. You looked at the crowd and felt your mind go blank and they roared with applause. You looked over your shoulder at Tom, who gave you an assuring smile and mouthed “go on.” You blew out a breath and turned back to the audience, having a better grasp on what you wanted to say now.
“I can assure you, I was expecting that as much as you were.” You let out a breathy laugh and the audience laughed too.
“Thank you so much for this. This award means a lot to me.” You held up the award to punctuate your sentence. “I went into this movie thinking it would be a great opportunity to do something different than what I’m used to. I certainly didn’t go into this movie thinking I’d meet the love of my life.” You paused and smiled as a hush fell over the crowd. “Tom and I fell in love over scripts and cups of coffee at midnight, so much in love that I’m not sure I deserve this award because I wasn’t acting. Every soft touch and stolen glance, that was just me being in love with my scene partner.”
You stopped and let the audience clap for your statement, looking over your shoulder at Tom before continuing.
“I guess the secrets out now.” You laughed as you shook your head. “We had a running bet on who would accidentally reveal it first. So in addition to the three awards I won tonight, I will be getting twenty dollars.”
You heard Tom chuckling from behind you and felt compelled to finish up so you could hug him.
“All jokes aside, the number one person I want to thank tonight is Tom. I couldn’t have done this without you. And I’d never want to. I hope I spend the rest of my career sneaking Swedish Fish into award shows with you. Thank you.” You held up the award one last time before turning to Tom. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground, spinning you around as he pressed a lingering kiss to your cheek.
“Sorry about that. I couldn’t help myself. I was too proud of you.” He smiled as he set you down. You began to walk backstage together, hand in hand.
“It’s all right.” You assured him. “I always appreciate a romantic gesture.”
Tom stayed quiet as you made your way back to your seats, a strange look troubling his handsome features.
“What is it?” You asked as you sat down again. Tom pursed his lips as a shy smile lit up his face.
“That was the first time you said you loved me.” He said timidly as he scratched behind his ear. Your mouth opened and shut as you found yourself at a loss for words. In the excitement of the moment, you hadn’t even realized you admitted your real feelings for him. You’d only been dating two months and while you loved him whole heartedly, you had never had the guts to tell him. Tom looked at you expectingly as he awaited your answer. Knowing there was no going back, you shrugged it off.
“Well I do.” You said finally, making his smile grow. “Is that all right?”
“Is that all right?” He laughed and took your hand in his, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “Yeah. That’s all right.”
“Good. Because I do love you.” You leaned into him and rubbed your nose against his. He scrunched his nose as you made contact, still holding tightly to your hand.
“I love you too.” He said for the first time, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. “Congratulations, darling.”
Tag List 🏷
@awesomebooklover17​ @thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest​ @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​
@foreverxholland​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @guksmyfav​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human​ @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @maryjanee23​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @jillanaholland @unbelievableholland​ @rebekkah4766​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​​ @itscaminow​​ @fiantomartell​ @solarxmoonchild​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @parkerboop​ @smilexcaptainx​ @hes-amarillo​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @kickingn-ames​ @babeyspidey​ @seasidecrowbar​ @lovelessdagger​ @love-sick-blues​ @electraheart-3174​ @lou-la-lou​ @unbelievableholland​ @yourtypicalhotmess​ @spideyanakin​ @horanxholland​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @marshxx​ @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie​ @tomshufflepuff​ @cookiemonstermusic258​
@maybemona​ @young-romanoff​ @alexxcorona113​ @lethal-wisdom​ @xo-spidey​ @im-still-tryin-to-find-it​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @pandaxnienke​ @theincredibledeadlyviper​  @thestylestour​  @officialsimppage​ @mrvelscaptains​ @peterspideysstuff​ @reemusluupin​ @perspectiveparker​ @itstaskeen @amorhollands​ @satanswitchings​ @parkerlovebot​ @fancyxparker​
5K notes · View notes
Text
hard day ~ pete davidson
word count: 2057
request?: yes!
“Hey can I request a Pete Davidson imagine where the reader has had a long hard day at set and dealing with papparazzi and Pete pampers her. Maybe ending in smut to make her feel special?”
description: after a hard day of filming, followed by an overwhelming run in with paparazzi, he decides to help her relax
pairing: pete davidson x female!reader
warnings: swearing, smut
masterlist (one, two)
Tumblr media
The sound of the door slamming alerted Pete that his girlfriend was finally arriving home. She had texted him a few hours earlier to say she was being kept late on set, but neither one of them thought that she meant she’d be this late.
Pete craned his neck to peak around the doorway of the living room as he watched (Y/N) stomp up the stairs towards their shared room. He cringed as he heard that door slam shut as well. He knew this meant that (Y/N) wanted to be left alone, but he hated to leave her alone while she was so angry. So, he paused his show and got up to make his way to their room.
Instead of barging in, Pete stood outside their shared bedroom door and knocked. When there was no answer, he tried again.
“Fuck off,” came a groan.
“Hard day baby?” Pete asked her.
“Fuck off for a bit, Pete. I don’t wanna snap at you.”
Pete sighed and decided to leave her be. He knew it was best to let her blow off steam however she felt she had to, but it was hard when all he wanted was to take her in his arms and hold her until the bad went away.
An idea popped into his head. He moved from their bedroom to the bathroom down the hall. He began to run the bath and put some of (Y/N)’s favorite bubble bath in. He watched as the bubble rose so high that she would definitely disappear into them. While waiting for the hot water to cool down just enough that she could get in comfortably, Pete went down to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Once his de-stressing scene was all set up, he went back to their bedroom. Instead of knocking, Pete just walked in. He found his girlfriend laying face down on the bed. She was still completely dressed in her clothes from the day, which made him feel a slight twinge of sadness for her.
(Y/N) lifted her head just enough to look at Pete before letting it drop back down to the bed. “Go away.”
“I have a bath ready for you.”
(Y/N) rolled over onto her back and looked over at him. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I think I did, actually. You seem very upset, and we both know how much you love a good bath to help calm down.”
(Y/N) looked at him for a moment longer. She had to admit he was right on that front. She loved to take a nice hot bath after a long, stressful day in order to calm down. But tonight she just felt extra stressed and frustrated to a point where it felt like even a bath wasn’t going to help her.
She couldn’t hold back her giggles as Pete lifted her into his arms and started carrying her towards the bathroom. He played her on the counter and began to strip her of her clothes.
“I think I know how to get undressed, Pete,” she joked.
“But it’s my favorite thing to do!” Pete responded, a goofy smile on her face as he pulled her pants and panties down her legs at the same time, leaving her completely naked in front of him.
“You do light up like a child on Christmas when I take my bra off,” she teased him, noticing his eyes lingering on her chest.
“Your tits are my favorite gifts,” he agreed, tweaking her nipple just once to satisfy the urge inside of him. (Y/N)’s legs tightened a little at the gesture. Pete noticed, but decided not to say anything just yet.
He helped her into the tub and poured her a glass of the wine.
“Aren’t you joining me?” she asked as she took the glass from him.
“I’ll join you in a nice glass of this expensive wine we have,” he said. “But this is your de-stressing bath. I’ll just sit here and watch and drink for a while.”
“That’s romantic,” she said, sarcastically. “I take a nice hot bubble bath all by myself, while my boyfriend sits on the toilet.”
“Hey, could be worse. I could also be naked while I’m sitting here. Imagine how weird that would be.”
(Y/N) crinkled her nose before she started to giggle. Pete smiled as well, feeling a sense of pride in making her laugh.
They both sat together for a while, just sipping their wine. (Y/N) felt her body relaxing in the hot water as she laid her head back against the wall behind her. This really was what she needed after such a long day, whether her more frustrated self wanted to admit it or not.
“What had you so worked up in the first place, babe?” Pete asked as he filled her wine glass.
(Y/N) groaned. “You’re ruining the mood, Pete.”
He chuckled. “Okay, sorry. Just asking is all.”
(Y/N) sighed and lifted her head again to look at him. “Remember how I texted you to tell you I was asked to stay a bit later in order to finish a scene? Well, that ‘a bit later’ turned into three hours later because the director kept making me film the scene over and over and over until he finally decided it was okay. Not perfect, not even great! Just okay. He put us through hours of reshooting just to decide he was going to go with the okay take! Fucking bastard!”
“What was his problem?”
(Y/N) shrugged. “Beats me! Apparently nothing was good enough for him. Wasted three fucking hours filming just to get an okay scene. Then, when I left, I was tired but I wanted to spend at least an hour with you, so I decided to go get coffee. The minute I stepped out of my vehicle I was swarmed by paparazzi. I don’t know how they figured out where I went, but they would not leave me alone. I ended up not even going into the coffee place cause I could not get around at all.”
Pete reached out and took hold of one of (Y/N) bubbly, wet hands. “I’m so sorry, babe. I do get how much the paparazzi shit sucks, but on top of an already bad day? That fucking sucks so much?”
(Y/N) sighed and ran her thumb over Pete’s knuckles. “It does suck. I have to go back to set tomorrow morning and I’m dreading it so much. How am I supposed to go back there after spending so long filming that last scene today? I’ll kill the director the moment I see him.”
“You wouldn’t even hurt a fly baby, let’s not pretend here.”
(Y/N) chuckled. “You’re right, I can’t.”
The silence washed over them again. (Y/N)’s eyes trailed to Pete’s hand. She looked at it for a while, just lost in her own world as she absentmindedly ran her thumb over his knuckles. Then, she started thinking about his long fingers inside of her, curling just right to hit that spot inside of her that drove her over the edge every time. She felt a heat growing between her legs, and if she wasn’t in the bath already she was certain she’d be soaked.
“What are you thinking?” Pete asked, breaking her out of her trance. She looked up at him suddenly, eyes wide with the shock of being caught.
“Uh...” she said, trying to think of something to say. She didn’t want to tell Pete she had been having sexual daydreams, but then she realized what was the harm of telling him? They had been together for quite some time, it’s not like she’d scare him off by telling him anything. “I was thinking about your fingers inside of me.”
Pete’s pants grew a bit tighter at this. “Really? Pretty specific thing to be thinking about.”
“Well, I’m here holding your hand. I’m thinking about things that relax me. Your fingers definitely cause me to relax a lot when they’re down there.”
Pete placed his wine glass on the counter next to him and pulled his shirt over his head. (Y/N) watched in slight confusion, before realization washed over her when Pete’s hand disappeared under the water. He nudged her legs open and slowly ran two fingers up and down her slit, teasingly.
“You feel so wet already baby,” he joked, a smile on his face.
(Y/N) couldn’t contain her own smile and giggles. “You’re such a fucking do - ”
Her playful insult was silenced as Pete pushed two fingers deep inside of her. (Y/N) gasped, her head falling back against the wall behind her again. Pete started pumping in and out of her very slowly, making sure he wasn’t hurting her with what he was doing.
“Is this what you were thinking about baby?” he asked her.
“Fuck Pete,” she breathed. “Fuck yes this feels so good.”
Pete curled his fingers in a way that made it easier for him to hit the right spots. (Y/N) let out a moan and tried to buck her hips against his fingers, but he used his other hand to ease her back down.
“Just sit back and let me take care of you baby,” he said. “I’ll take all your stress away.”
Pete’s erection was becoming nearly unbearable as he watched (Y/N) coming undone in front of him, and felt her warmth wrapped around his fingers. He wanted nothing more than to take her right there, to really fuck any stress left out of her. But at the same time, he didn’t want that. He just wanted to make her feel good, to wipe the memories of he day away.
(Y/N)’s free hand wrapped around Pete’s bicep. Her nails dug so deep into his arm that Pete knew there would be marks there once she pulled away, maybe even full on scratches or blood, but he’d wear the marks with pride. He usually did whenever she left them on him.
He began to speed up his pumping. He felt (Y/N)’s thighs clenching around his hand, as if she were trying to hold him there. Breathy moans were escaping from her lips as he body began to tremble.
“Fuck Pete,” she breathed. “Fuck, I’m starting to feel close.”
“Yeah?” Pete asked. “Are you gonna cum all over my fingers baby?”
In response, (Y/N) moaned again. Pete picked up his pace a little more, causing her moans to become screams of pleasure. He could feel the tension building up in her as he body prepared to let go.
Pete leaned forward to kiss (Y/N) gently on her lips. “Cum for me, princess. Let me feel you.”
With those words, (Y/N) came completely undone. She screamed Pete’s name so loud he was sure the neighbors would hear her. He felt her clenching around his fingers and he wished he could actually feel her wetness and not just that of the water in the tub.
(Y/N) was breathing heavily when Pete was finally able to pull away from her. He stood and grabbed a nearby hand towel to begin drying his hands. (Y/N) watched him, a cloud of lustful fog still blocking her as she tried to recover from her high. Her eyes shifted down to Pete’s crotch area, where she noticed the evergrowing buldge.
“Do you want me to return the favor?” she asked, a lazy smile on her face.
Pete smiled back at her and leaned down to kiss her again. “That’s okay babe. You enjoy your bath until it gets cold.”
(Y/N)’s brows furrowed together. “You don’t want me to do anything for you?”
“Well I didn’t say that,” Pete said. “But for now I just want you to unwind. We can fuck later on. I’ll make you forget your entire day then, maybe even your own name if you’re lucky.”
(Y/N) giggled. “I hope I’ll be lucky then.”
She smiled as she watched Pete leave the room to change his clothes. Despite her teasing words, she felt like she was already the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing man by her side.
1K notes · View notes
shokobuns · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
“𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭”
in which you slowly give into your desires.
PAIRING: maid!zenin maki x f!housewife!reader
GENRE: smut, some fluff, some angst, slowburn (ish)
WORD COUNT: 5.6k
WARNINGS: nsfw, 16+ smut, slowburn ish?, mentioned misogyny, infidelity, unhappy arranged marriage, angsty marriage, overstimulation, fingering, oral (f receiving), kitchen sex, sex in shared bed, face sitting/riding, 69, exhibitionism, squirting, light degradation, praise, pussy slapping, finger sucking, spit kink, consensual panty stealing, masturbation (f), first time for oral, slight corruption, implied dumbification, dom!maki. slight mommy kink, humiliation (kind of)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, Honey.”
You peck your husband on the lips goodbye before he’s out the door with a briefcase in hand and his suit as neat as ever. Staring at the leftovers, you sigh before eventually picking up the plates and pilling them in the sink, scrubbing off the sticky mess of maple syrup. Soap suds cover up your gloves as you lather them in bubbly water and plan out the rest of your day. The dishes, the laundry, a few episodes of that one show you barely pay attention to, lunch, more dishes, more laundry, a start on dinner.
You can’t help but wonder — Is this it?
You love your husband, something you remind yourself repeatedly when he’s gobbling down on the rice on his dinner plate and when he’s leaving his dirty clothes all over your bedroom floor. You love him. You want to bear his children, want to raise them, want to do the chores so that he doesn’t. You want to cook, to clean, to do everything for the sake of his pleasure. It’s what your mother insisted, it’s what she did, and it’s what her mother did. You love your husband.
Is this it?
Twenty years old, a husband with a stable living, something that can suffice for the rest of your life. All you need is to do your chores, give him your body, be his prim and proper wife. It sounds fairly easy, another thing that your mother insisted, so what is it?
Why do you crave more? Why do you have to remind yourself that you love him, love this life at all?
Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on your door. When you open it, you’re met with the sight of a tall girl with glasses. She’s in a black maid dress that stops at her knees, complemented by the white apron that flows along with the part of the skirt, ruffling at the end. She has a bag hanging on her shoulder and her expression shows slight amusement at your surprise. Surely, she’s at the wrong house, right?
“Are you (Y/N)?”
“Y-Yes,” you stutter out, not realizing that you were staring, “Uh, w-who are you?”
“I’m Zenin Maki, but you can call me Maki,” she observes your figure, noticing the sly nervousness radiating off of your expression, “Your husband hired me. Said he wanted someone to help you out.”
“O-Oh.”
“May I come in?”
“Of course.” You move to the side, watching the woman scan your house. It’s slightly messy, a result of your husband not cleaning up after lounging in the living room, and she doesn’t waste time to clean it up, rearranging the decorative pillows and helping you carry the leftover dishes to the sink. Just as you’re about to put on your gloves, her hand comes out to grab your wrist and the other takes it out of your hand. “Don’t. I got this.”
You step back, watching Maki put on the gloves herself, lathering the dishes as you did before. You don’t know what to do, standing there awkwardly as she places them in the dishwasher. It’s a given opportunity to observe how her skirt stops right above her knee, flowing out naturally and modestly accentuating her body. Her headband compliments the look, her hair tied back with bangs covering up her forehead, stopping short of her glasses. Warmth creeps up your neck to your cheeks and you sharply look away, focusing your vision on the bowl of apples on the center of the dining table.
“You can rest, Miss. But I’m going to need help putting away the dishes later. Is that okay?” She asks and you turn around to give her a nod. “Is there anything else you need done?”
“Oh, no, it’s okay, you really don’t need to-”
“I was hired to help you out with chores. Please, do not worry about me.”
You sigh in defeat, looking directly at her face, her pretty face. She had a sharp expression, piercing eyes that can bore into your soul, defined cheekbones. A sensation of uneasiness rested in your lower belly and you realize you’re staring when she waves a hand over your face. “Hello? Miss?”
“S-Sorry! I was just thinking about something!”
“Oh. Well, I was just asking if you can help me put some of the dishes away just for today. I don’t know where everything is and I don’t like disorganization.”
“Of course. Of course.”
“You need anything else?”
“Folding the laundry, for now, I think? The clothes should be dry. Everything is upstairs.”
She follows behind you as you bring her out to the terrace where your laundry hangs on a string. Dresses, button ups, and ties of earth toned colors adorn the area and you touch the fabrics. The sun had definitely done its job. Maki is already setting up the ironing board that was previously laying in the corner of your bedroom and gathering your husband’s work attire together. When she’s done flattening the creases on the pieces of clothing, you take them, hanging and folding. With her help, you were finished in half the time it usually took you.
“Thank you, Maki. Really, I appreciate it.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Miss. Your husband hired me to do my job and I am happy to help.”
As you hang your last dress, you give her a smile.  
“Honey, I’m home!”
Your husband’s voice sounds throughout the house as he’s met with the sight of you and Maki laying out plating foods and placing them on the dinner table. He smiles and you walk towards him to greet him with a hug and a kiss. Maki continues with the task, sparing a glance at the both of you. “You didn’t tell me you hired a maid,” you whisper to your husband, “Though, she has been very helpful.”
“I’m glad, Honey.” He replies, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“Kind of curious as to why you hired one in the first place.”
“I’ll tell you later. Let’s have dinner, alright?” He shoots you a grin before looking over to Maki. “Feel free to stay for dinner, Maki!”
“I’m alright. I should get going anyways—”
“Nonsense!” You husband eagerly responds, pulling out an extra chair just for her, “My dear wife here says you’ve been helpful.”
“I have classes.”
“Oh. Well you might as well take some home!” You suggest, walking over to your tupperware cabinet.
Before you go back to your husband, you plate some food for her to take home and make sure she makes it back to her car as she walks out the door. You let out an involuntary sigh, leaning against the doorway and feeling content that you now have an extra hand.
“So?”
“So, what?”
“Why do we need a maid?”
“Simple,” he grabs your hands from across the table, “I think we’re ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“Ready to have kids, silly woman!” His laughter booms throughout the entire room, “I mean you’ll have to get off birth control and everything, but I think it’s time.”
You laugh nervously as he leans in for a kiss. “Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t know about this.”
“What?” He stands up, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, “Why not?”
“I’m just kind of, uh, scared? I don’t know if I’m ready and we just got married a few months ago, you know?”
“Come on, don’t be scared,” he reassures you, kissing your cheek, “I hired Maki to be our maid to lay the stress off of you. I offered her an in-house job, which she’ll be starting next week, just so that you could rest easy while you’re pregnant.”
“In-house? Is she going to live with us?”
“Of course! She’s a college student, so she doesn’t mind getting paid and living in a house,” he explains before going back to the topic, “So please. I want you to have our baby. We can start tonight.” He suggests, wiggling his eyebrows.
“O-Okay.”
The next few days, the cycle continues.
Maki comes in the morning, usually just about right before your husband leaves for work, and she helps you throughout the day. Doing dishes, folding clothes, cleaning the bathroom. Most of the time you help her, usually against her will, but it leads to a calm and comforting silence when you work together. She’s moving in soon, two days to be exact, and you think it’s time to get to know a little bit about her.
One problem; She’s reserved, which intimidates you, and you’re too scared to start a conversation.
Eventually, you’re going to have to break the ice. So you do it as she’s ironing the clothes and you’re putting them away. You think up a few basic questions, mulling them over as to not make her uncomfortable because you want to get to know her.
“My husband tells me you’re in university right now. What’s your major?”
“Sports science.” She replies bluntly, continuing her task.
“Oh, cool cool,” you try to figure out a way to continue, but come up blank. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk.
“What do you do when your husband is not around?” She asks curiously, as if she sensed your desire to hold the conversation.
“Chores, usually,” you frown, “Sometimes I watch TV, but I wish I was able to do other stuff. I really like painting, too. But I haven’t done much of that ever since we got married.”
“Oh. Why not?”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to become an artist. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, but my family wanted stability for me so they introduced me to a family friend’s older son,” you smile, memories of your younger self filling up your head before a sense of sadness falls over your expression, “They said this would be good for me. And it is. My husband is a good man, I have a roof over my head and dinner on the table everyday, you know. I’m not complaining,” you pause, reeling out of your own thoughts, “Sorry if I just overshared.”
“No, don’t worry about it,” she reassures you, “Just out of curiosity, how old are you?”
“Twenty.”
“That’s funny, I’m twenty one.”
“You’re closer to my age than my husband,” you laugh, folding another white button up before placing it in a drawer, “We are in very different positions.”
“Yes, we are,” she chuckles, “A struggling college student and a cool housewife.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say cool—”
“Nonsense!” She grumbles, an attempt to mock your husband.
“Nonsense!”
“Nonsense!”
The both of you laugh and you realize how she seems almost angelic. The look in her eyes that was once piercing and intimidating was soft and heavenly. Her cheeks are flushed red and her smile was alluring. Before you even realize it, a feeling of warmth settles in your lower belly and it gets harder and harder to take your eyes off of her. Her chuckle was music to your ears and you’ve internally decided that it was one of your favorite sounds.
“Goodnight, Honey.”
He plants a kiss on your sweaty forehead before turning his back towards you, opting to hug a pillow on the side instead. Everything is wet, sticky, and gross, but before you can say anything, your husband is already fast asleep, little snores filling the air of the master bedroom. You lay down for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling in the dark until you gather up the last of your willpower to get up and clean the mess between your legs.
It was an okay night.
Sure, you came, but it was just boring. There was nothing to it, only the huffs and groans and praises from your husband as he lived out his fantasy of finally being able to breed you. You’re happy to provide him, as long as it makes him happy, because he loves you and you love him. Even if you have to clean up the mess yourself, even if you don’t finish, even if that rush of loving emotion that everyone seems to describe never hits you.
You’re happy.
That’s what you tell yourself anyways. Yet, your fingers rub furiously on your clit while the other pumps in and out of your dripping cunt. You’re close and you pretend that it’s her fingers You pretend that it’s her fingers that you’re clenching around, her mouth leaving soft kisses from your neck down to your exposed breasts. You pretend that you’re tugging on dark hair, asking for more, but when you come down from your high, the ringing in your ears stops suddenly and the snores overtake your hearing once again.
Maki.
It’s wrong, disgustingly wrong, but there’s no way to escape her. Not when she’s in your house in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening. She helps with everything, things that you didn’t even consider yourself, talks to you about the things you like. And you know that her favorite color is black, her family would have much rather preferred if she went the same route you did, and she likes junk food a little too much.
You also wonder when you should tell your husband that you definitely have not gone off those pills.
“Miss?”
“Yes?” You respond, a grocery bag in your arms filled with different fruits, vegetables, and meat. Although you've made a few additions to your list and you were unsure at first, but as Maki empties it, her eyes light up at the sight of the bright little bag.
“You got chips?”
“Well, yeah. They’re for you. I know you liked them.”
She beams at you and it’s almost blinding. There’s an odd flutter in your stomach and you ignore it, but it only becomes stronger when she rips open the bag and munches on the whole thing in seconds. The small satisfied moan from the first bite has you internally celebrating. She looks at peace. All she’s doing is eating a bag of her favorite chips, yet it fills you with some unexplainable feeling of warmth. You make another mental note to buy even more next time.
“What do you think of him?”
“Who?” She asks, sitting up on the couch as she watches you get lost on the canvas in front of you.
“My husband.”
“Oh,” she pauses, her hand coming from under her chin to think, “He’s pretty cool, I guess. He also pays me which is pretty cool, you know.”
“Come on, I won’t tell him,” you insist, coming close, your hands involuntarily brushing over hers. She doesn’t pull them away, letting you rest them, enjoying the extra warmth.
“I mean, he’s a man, alright.”
“What does that even mean?”
“No offense,” she continues, finding the least rudest way to say it, “He’s kind of basic, you know? Which isn’t bad but he yells at the TV when watching football, has you light his cigarettes, and waits for you to serve him food. Just your typical husband things, I guess.”
“Are you saying my husband is boring?” You ask with a stoic face, watching the fear fill her eyes.
“No, no! That’s not what I—”
“Kidding,” you chuckle as she purses her lips before joining along, “I was just curious.”
“Well, why?”
“I don’t know,” you say, sighing as you think of all the times he did anything romantic for you, “He’s a good man, you know that, right?”
“Well, of course.”
“He brings me flowers, gives me goodnight kisses, tells me he loves me, but—” you pause, afraid to finish the thought. Your heart pounds at the mess of ideas on your mind and you’re ashamed, “I don’t know if I feel that love thing those people always talk about.”
“What do you mean?”
She’s intrigued to say the least. You’re fiddling your thumbs with a nervous smile on your face. All the while, the music you put on fades in the background until it’s only the two of you, hearts beating fast, blood rushing to your cheeks. When you finally look her in the eye, she doesn’t miss how glassy they look and that’s when her suspicions are confirmed without a verbal sentence — you’re unsure.
“He- Well, I don’t know. Forget I said anything about it,” you clasp your hands together before getting back to work in the kitchen, “And please, don’t tell him.”
Uncertainty, you’re most definitely full of it, but Maki is almost sure she’s figured it out before you have and she likes to think that she’s gotten to know you. She’s picked up how you play with your fingers when you’re unsure, how you smooth down your dress when you try to keep your composure, how that your smile loses genuinity while you’re at the dinner table. She decides it’s not her business, she’s only the housemaid and you’re just the housewife she works under.
But she’ll always be there for you with open arms if you need it.
“We gotta make breakfast, Maki.” You poke her side, waking her up from a deep sleep.
You’re already ready for the day, the top half of your hair already tied in a bun and a lilac colored dress adorning your figure. She’s caught off guard when she opens her eyes and you’re sitting up on the side of the bed poking at her hip. Her vision is blurry without her glasses, but she can clearly smell the sweet scent of vanilla perfume. Taking in a deep breath, she sits up, too, reaching for her glasses on the bedside table.
And her sleek, black hair cascades down her shoulders, though it’s slightly messy, you’re tempted to run your fingers through the soft looking strands. You’ve seen Maki in her maid uniform at home, jeans when she goes out to shop, but the sight of her in a satin night dress was different and your breath hitches when the blanket falls off the upper half of her body. It’s a loose fit and she looks absolutely ethereal, almost like an angel.
She turns her head to the side and you fake cough, trying to make up for staring a little too long. “I know your day doesn’t start yet, but I was hoping to get some help on breakfast today. Is that alright with you?”
“Of course, Miss. I’ll go get ready right now.
“Cool.”
You walk down to the kitchen, preparing a pie crust for your quiche and reading through the recipe you were given by a friend. By the time you blind bake the crust, Maki joins you in her usual attire. “Need anything, Miss?”
“While the quiche is baking, I just need you to make some cookie dough. Just the usual, my family is coming over later.”
“Of course.”
She gets to work right away, finding the ingredients immediately as you fill up your empty pie crust and dance around the kitchen. Right after the quiche is placed in the oven, your hips sway along with the music that plays in the radio. It’s all soft and slow, Maki smiling at your antics while you jokingly attempt to serenade her. She’s mixing in the chocolate chips into the dough and you walk forward, energetic and lost in the song.
You don’t think much of it when you grab her hip and your faces come closer together. One second, you were playfully dancing around your kitchen and the next, your breaths mingle, the gap between the two of you closing. It’s her who decides to lean forward, soft lips meeting together, your back suddenly meeting the edge of the counter. Her hands rest on the surface, each on either side of you, and her lips taste like cherries. Your hands come up to her cheeks as your mouths meld together until it’s hard to breathe.
You pull away first, remembering that your husband is still sleeping upstairs. “What are we doing?”
“Don’t know,” she replies, her hand starting to trail under the skirt of your dress, “It feels right, though.”
“Should we stop?” You mutter, just barely enough for her to hear.
“Do you want to?”
“No.”
It gives her the extra rush of courage to get under your dress and push your body until your back is flat on the counter. Luckily, there was nothing underneath except for a pair of plain black panties, a damp spot right in the middle. Her thumb presses on your clothed clit and by the way your body squirms she knows you’re sensitive which only adds to the sadistic fun of pulling down your underwear at an agonizingly slow pace. “Need you,” you breathe out, your legs being positioned on her shoulders, “I need you, please.”
“I got you, Baby. Don’t worry.” She replies with a smile, her breath hitting your wet cunt.
Your breath hitches as her tongue trails up from your hole up to your sensitive pearl and she moans at the sweet taste of your arousal. Her hands keep a firm grip on your thighs, holding them open as you bite your lip to contain your moans. He’s right upstairs, you think, but any thought of caution starts to leave you once her soft lips wrap around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves causing your knuckles to turn white as they grab onto the edge of the counter.
Your husband has never touched you like this. Ever.
The feeling of her mouth is foreign, but welcome. Before you know it, the grip on one of your thighs loosen and two fingers slip into your soaked cunt. She’s gentle at first, the pumps of her digits ever so delicately pressing against your g spot, but once you hike up the skirt of your dress and thread your fingers through her hair, she speeds up, hitting hard and fast. “M-Maki— Shit!”
You squeal when her tongue starts massaging your clit and your walls clench despite being empty, “Such a pretty girl,” she coos, watching in awe at how your slick coats her fingers, “Such a pretty pussy.”
Lewd praises and squelches fill the kitchen air as the coil in your stomach builds and snaps until your cunt is gushing all over her. Your back arches as you reach your high and she leaves a trail of kisses from your thigh to your sopping pussy. Bringing her fingers to your mouth, she gives you one command.
“Suck.”
You obey, wrapping your soft lips around her digits, swirling your tongue and she gives a graceful smile, brushing a thumb over your flushed cheeks. A sheen of sweat covers your forehead, but the sound of footsteps brings you out of your thoughts. Maki pockets your underwear, giving you a wink, before washing her hands and taking the nearly forgotten quiche out of the oven.
By the time you hear the footsteps of your husband, you’re decent, minimal signs of physical exertion just barely noticeable. She’s going through her usual routine of plating your food in front of the two of you, doing the dishes, laundry, everything. You want to say something, you really do, and you’re left with your own questions.
At night, you’re left pondering the strong women with silky black hair whilst in the arms of your husband.
Two days.
That’s how long it’s been since you’ve gotten the most mind blowing orgasm of your life. Your panties are still missing, though you don’t mind knowing who has them. And when you think about the things your mother has told you repeatedly about your perfectly structured life, it crumbles with each second. When you look at the face next to you, the indifference in your heart starts to become more and more prominent.
And even though you should feel guilty — well, you do — you also don’t regret it at all.
You still do your chores as expected, make the bed, cook dinner. You still organize the laundry, do the dishes, and tend to your rose garden. You still disinfect, fold, and have sex with your husband who’s indifferent to your pleasure every night. Almost every domestic activity was accompanied by Maki, who often sought to take over or help.
Yet, she wouldn’t even look at you.
She wouldn’t say anything that didn’t pertain to a grocery list or a command and it was infuriating. Still, you were determined to bring it up — how could you not? As you fold blankets on the couch and think, you call out her name. “Maki?”
“Yes, Miss?”
“Are we going to talk about what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
Your heart drops a tiny bit, it was an expected response based on the fact it felt like she was avoiding you, but you still had to swallow the lump in your throat. “Nevermind. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?” She asks as you’re looking down on the rug, trying to focus on the pattern instead of the woman in front of you.
“I’m just sorry I brought it up. I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry that we did whatever that was,” you take a deep breath as forming tears blurred your vision, “I’m sorry that I can’t fucking do this, Maki. I don’t love him. I can’t love him.”
She sighs, scooching forward and closer to you then pulling the half folded blanket from your hands. “You shouldn’t be sorry. This was my fault.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“You’re just, I’m just—” you inhale again, trying to find the right words to say, “You’re different. You’re different from him in all the best ways. You listen to what I have to say, you care about how I feel.”
“That’s something that any good friend would do—”
“I don’t want to be your friend.”
“Oh.”
She brings her fingers to your chin, nudging your head up until you’re looking her in the eyes for the first time in days. She gazes at you, appreciating every curve and every mark on your skin. You take this as an opportunity to lean in, planting a soft kiss on her lips. She doesn’t stop it, instead indulging in the act, cupping your cheeks.
It soon becomes hungry, her tongue slipping past your lips, you being rolled over onto your back as she slips her hand under your floral dress. She presses a finger against your clothed cunt, causing you to gasp and throw your head back. At the same time she leaves sloppy kisses on the exposed skin of your neck and you struggle to form a coherent sentence.
“M-Maki, stop,” you whimper and she pauses, “Wanna make you feel good.”
“Oh?” She smirks, giving you another breathless kiss, “Wanna put that mouth to use, Baby?”
“Yeah,” you breath out, “Wanna make you feel good, Mommy.”
Her expression is filled with pride as she drags her fingers across your face and into your mouth. You comply with the silent command, wrapping your lips around the digits and sucking softly, swirling your tongue around them. “Good girl.”
You let out a hum while she discards her panties somewhere on the ground and her bare cunt hovers over your face. It’s intimidating, yet the sight of her glistening folds makes you wet. All you wanted to do was taste her, drink up all of her juices, and when you finally do you can’t get enough. Despite the lack of experience, you do what you think would feel good, giving experimental licks, noting when her body twitched and when she would let out a saccharine moan.
“Fuck — you’re doing so well,” she coos, carding her fingers through your hair, admiring the sight of your half lidded eyes and the feel of your tongue, “You sure this is your first time eating pussy?”
You hum in response which sends vibrations throughout her body, causing her to throw her head back. You grip onto her lower back, desperately bringing her wet cunny closer to yourself and she rolls her hips, grinding herself on your mouth. You’re already addicted, lapping at all of the cum she has to offer, watching intently as her mouth forms an o shape and she soaks the lower half of your face.
“Such a good fucking girl, aren’t you?”
She gets off your face and you smile with pride, tugging off the rest of her maid uniform until she’s completely bare in your living room. Every curve of her body fills you with even more lust and you’re sure your panties are soaked just from the sight. Her thighs are defined, muscular even, and you kiss them before going back to her ruined pussy, lapping at all the slick.
“You’re so pretty, Maki,” you utter, your breath hitting her neck as you come back up to her face.
She pushes you backward until you’re flat on your back, pinning your wrists together before ripping off your panties. Maki wastes no time, two fingers entering your hole and curling with every thrust. “You got this wet from eating me out?” She questions cockily, leaving an open mouthed kiss on the shell of your ear along with a nibble, “You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” you whimper in between breaths, “Feels s’good.”
“Yeah?” She responds, watching you come undone underneath her.
Your orgasm builds up with every pump, the coil in your stomach tightening. She fastens the pace, every movement being calculated, her fingers knuckles deep in your cunt. Her fingertips manage to brutally hit the spongy spot inside of you, causing your legs to shake. Your back arches when her lips wrap around your clit, the simultaneous stimulation making your body tremble in delight. You’re gushing all over her fingers and she stares in awe as your slick drips down your thighs.
“Can we go to the bedroom?” You request meekly, barely recovering from your last orgasm.
“Of course, Baby,” she beams at you, body gleaming with a sheen of sweat, your heart fluttering in your chest.
Maki picks you up bridal style with almost no effort, pressing kisses all over your face on the way upstairs. When you finally get to the bedroom, she lays you down gently, almost as if you were a delicate piece of glass. But the moment of soft intimacy doesn’t last.
It doesn’t last when her pussy hovers over your face with her head buried in between your legs, licking hot stripes on your folds, sucking on your pearl while her fingers brush on your legs before finding their way back to your ruined cunt. Your tongue presses on her slit and her hips lower until your mouth is full of pussy. Her sweet taste is addicting and concurrent moans only heighten the pleasure, vibrations shooting through both of your bodies. Her thumb circles your clit furiously as she pulls away from your cunt to speak.
“You like this, don’t you? Ain’t this the same bed where you get fucked by your husband?” She questions demandingly, slapping your cunny.
You whine into her cunt, the sudden pain causing your walls to clamp around nothing. She laughs sadistically, pinching your clit, biting at your inner thighs.
“S’good, such a good little slut,” she coos, her nose tickling your clit as her face inches closer, “Bet you like getting fucked by your maid, don’t you?”
You can only respond with a squeal, her hand laying another blow to your aching pussy. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. I got you.” She reassures you, mouth ravaging your cunt, slurping every drop of cum you had to offer. She’s close to her own orgasm, you can tell by the way she rides your face, soaking the lower half until the sweet droplets slide down your neck. You massage her clit with your tongue as she comes down from her high, but after yours, she doesn’t stop.
Instead, she continues to feast on your cunt like a starved woman, the pressure in your stomach building for the nth time that day. Coming again almost hurts, but she ignores the high pitched wails spilling from your lips, the sounds only encouraging her to keep sucking until your body trembles. At this point, you’re light headed, vision gradually becoming blurry. Your walls are pulsating, your mind is unable to process everything at once.
Especially the shocked man who stands in the doorway of your bedroom.
And at that exact moment, you let out a sob as Maki sadistically looks your husband right in the eye, her mouth still devouring your overstimulated cunny with fervor. Your hole leaks milky white, staining your shared sheets and you cry out her name, hopelessly gripping onto the plush of her ass for stability, digging your nails into the flesh. When she pulls away, a string of spit connects from her mouth to your pearl and her pupils are blown, cheeks covered with your arousal, all the while maintaining eye contact with him.
As if there was no one in the room, she readjusts her until her face hovers over yours, her swollen pussy present on your thigh.
“Open.”
You comply readily and she grabs your face with one hand, squishing your wet cheeks so hard that they start to ache.
“Good girl.”
She spews into your mouth, watching the blob as it glides down your tongue and you swallow obediently before she comes down for a sweet kiss. The taste of yourself makes your head dizzy with lust. Let it be known that the horrified figure standing in the doorway could never make you feel as good as the maid.  
Oops.
Tumblr media
© this is a work of @crybabygumi, all rights reserved. do not plagiarize, copy, or repost my work on other platforms.
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
yuzukult · 3 years
Text
after midnight 05 || jjk & reader
Tumblr media
title: after midnight 05 - tonight pairing: jeon jungkook x reader genre: angst, smut, fluff, fwb!au, fuckboy!jk, doctor!reader word count: 6.6k warnings: bad words !! jk mostly just explicit language. no smut. a/n: ruh roh yeah no smut !! i decided to go without it this time because of the ✧plot✧ and wanted to focus more on that!! hope you guys still enjoy and read it without the freaky. :) (also next chapter is the last chapter. bye.)
He likes the colors red and black.
His favorite foods are donuts, grilled pork (wrapped in lettuce, a clove of garlic, a splat of red pepper paste while dipped into that sauce with the sesame oil or the one with the soy sauce), and he enjoys a good combo of the corn dog—half hot dog, half mozzarella cheese—and he rates the cheese pulls out 10; he even writes the name of the store, location, his order, and the ‘cheese pull rating scale’ in the notes of his phone.
He sniffles a lot, something about his nose that makes him do it frequently, but he does this thing where his nose scrunches up and the space between his brows crinkles while a finger does a quick swipe underneath despite nothing coming out.
Apparently, he’s got a black belt in taekwondo (you have yet to ask him to show you some moves), and he’s a ‘pro-gamer’ (his words, not yours). He does this weird thing when he’s focused on something; occasionally bites down the flesh of his bottom lip, or sticks out tongue with a furrow of his brows, only blinking between five minute intervals (you’ve actually timed this). And when he uses the bathroom, he has this strange habit of having to double check to see if he already flushed, even if you tell him that you heard the water go down. He has to watch it himself.
It’s peculiar that you’ve suddenly learned all these things about him, despite just weeks before, you told yourself that you didn’t even know Jungkook like that. The only thing you knew about him was that he’s got this “fuck-it” attitude, but when you uncover that blanket of a reputation that you assumed, he’s… more than just that.
He vaguely mentions that he wants to open a tattoo parlor, but he’s got a bolder, stronger goal of opening his own duck meat restaurant within the next ten years. It’s not fitting to his… vibe, so to speak, the tattoo parlor is more appropriate, but the way his face lights up at the thought of having his own duck meat restaurant is… sweet. Makes him seem less like an asshole.
As much as you resent yourself for admitting this, you’re warming up to the idea of Jungkook being your boyfriend. It’s not impossible, you’re beginning to realize, but it doesn’t help that there’s some hesitance in making a decision as big as that. Jeon Jungkook as your boyfriend? Pft. Sounds crazy.
The trait about Jungkook that you favor is that he’s honest. Even if it’s a rude statement, an opinion that you absolutely do not agree with, and even if it’s completely indecorous, he’s still purely honest. He doesn’t lie, and you know that he might not be lying about that girl that was in his apartment, his reputation still stands.
But sometimes, Jungkook can be honest but you still have no idea what’s going through his head.
You don’t get Jeon Jungkook.
It’s so complicated, yet at the same time, everything he wants and expects is laid out in front of you. He’s like a secret agent, only that he has his tools placed on the table for all the showcasing purposes and you still can’t understand what his plan is.
“When is your sister’s wedding?” He queries one day, lounging on your couch in the living room. He hasn’t probed you for much lately about the relationship, but to be quite fair, you’ve dropped pretty much every guy you’ve had romantic connections with in lieu of just… spending an oddly large amount of time with him instead. “Is it going to be back in your hometown?”
“Mm,” you hum in agreement quietly, paying attention solely on the television and the channels you’re browsing through. “It’s about two weeks from now. Really, I should be going home this weekend to prepare, but the hospital has been busy lately so I’m going to work.”
Jungkook furrows his brows. “Her wedding is two weeks from now and you’re just telling me?”
You turn to look at him, blinking blankly. “W—Is it supposed to matter?”
“Yeah, I’d like to be your plus one, if you don’t mind. Unless… you were planning on going alone?”
Melting into the couch, you sigh while carding your fingers through your loosened locks. After the last encounter, your family has been blowing up your phone nonstop about the true nature of yours and Jungkook’s relationship. Was he paid to be your date for one weekend? Were the two of you just friends? Did you already scare him and he broke it off? ‘He’s sweet,” you remember your mother saying on the phone one afternoon. ‘Can you try to seem more appealing so he could take your friendship to the next level?’ Because she still doesn’t think that you guys could ever be something serious.
But to be quite frank, you didn’t either. It had nothing to do with you, though, more of Jungkook and the reputation that precedes him. You still had your doubts, especially that night you came to his apartment and saw her there, and although he consistently denies having any relations with her, part of you is a bit… sad about it. As possessive as it sounds, he was supposed to be yours, and the fact that she came into his apartment so easily didn’t sit well in your stomach.
“It’s not that, I just…” you inhale sharply, sucking in your cheeks in thought. “Do you genuinely want to go? Like why do you want to go? I mean, yeah, if you don’t go, it’ll prove everything my family has been theorizing about having a fake relationship, but… I don’t want to force you.”
“I feel like I’m a broken record. I said I’d try to be your boyfriend. So of course I’m going to want to be your date for your sister’s wedding. Plus, I can… see what this wedding hype is that everyone is talking about.”
You snort. “You’ve never been to a wedding?”
“Eh. I have, I just… always tried landing dates on them. So I never really got to enjoy that actual event.”
There’s no harm in bringing him as your date, is there?
Tumblr media
There’s harm in everything.
For one, you didn’t expect Jungkook to attract this much attention here. He’s got a suit that you’ve never seen him wear before, hugging his body in all the right places with his hair slicked back with a comma curl brushing against his forehead. Jungkook doesn’t notice you in the crowd, busy keeping himself busy by conversing with some of your relatives, and you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that he stole the breath in your lungs at that very moment. Brows crinkled in curiosity, lips pink like they’ve been stained with strawberry juices paired with a smile that nearly ropes in the hearts of all those around him, this sight of Jungkook from this distance does the same to you.
God, he always looked so good but today, he wasn’t.. Hot, he was more than that. He was… handsome, beautiful—all of the above.
This was bad. This was so bad because you’re sinking in quicksand disguised with the ways of Jeon Jungkook and the thing you least imagined to happen is starting to happen. You need to grab on something, someone, anywhere where there’s a branch of hope to get you out, but you’re in too deep.
You might… actually like Jeon Jungkook.
But before you could get lost in your thoughts, your sister snaps you out of it with a panicked whine. You could hear her through the walls of your house—and although you’re not the maid of honor, the person she picks for it isn’t exactly the most reliable either. She isn’t quite equipped for a pressuring scenario, and well… a wedding is a taxing event.
“Yuri!” She wails, stomping her feet against the carpeted floors of her childhood bedroom. Yuri gets hit with a tsunami of worry washed over her face as Suji turns her head with the scariest expression on her face—like a tiger going after its prey. “I thought I asked you to take care of this!”
“I’m sorry,” she responds, voice quivering as she gets on her knees. You furrow your brows at the motion, unsure what to make of what she might potentially do next. “I’m trying…”
“Suji, what’s happening?”
“There’s a stain on my dress, and Yuri was supposed to make sure it’s in perfect condition!”
“She’s your friend, not your servant. Here—” you gesture one of the bridesmaids over and hand her the key fob to your car. “Grab the tide to-go pen in the glove compartment. We’ll try that first and if that doesn’t work, I’m sure mom has something in the laundry room.”
Suji is huffing and puffing, smoke practically whistling out her ears with her arms crossed over her chest, veil draping over her shoulders and dress dragging along behind her. She’s so pretty today, despite all the anger boiling in her blood, but she looks like an angel from heaven. “Don’t be sad, lil sis. It’s just a little stain. It’ll get stained worse anyways when you walk down the aisle in grass to your future hubby.”
“OK, but this day needs to be perfect. I had a binder that planned everything out since I was in middle school—” Suji is the epitome of what you described as those girls at that age, and she’s currently living the dream of being able to make it happen. “—and it has to be what it looks like. Sure, I upgraded the tacky stuff to find me at my age, but I need it to be… that.”
“It doesn’t have to be that.”
“It does!” She exclaims, a foot slamming into the floor that’s only cushioned to muffle the sound. “If he’s going to be my forever, then today is the only day that I can make this my day.”
“Right, but you also forget that it’s his day too. And not to mention that it’s possibly the only time you’re going to get married, so you want this day to be great. So instead of wasting your time throwing a tantrum like an actual middle schooler, how about we just make this day as lovely as we can and reminisce on the good memories instead of creating bad ones.”
Her tongue pokes the inside of her cheek. “I guess… you’re right. I love him, and I know that he’s the ‘one’ so…” She sighs, shoulders dropping along with the look on her face. “I just want it to be perfect. Imagine our kids in the future, turning the pages of our photo album. I want it to be perfect, to be special—“
“You keep saying ‘perfect’ when in reality, they’re just gonna wanna see their parents happy on their wedding day. They’re not gonna care that their mom has a tiny dirt stain on her dress, or if the flowers aren’t the exact shade of lavender that you wanted. They’re gonna be focused on those smiles plastered on your faces—grinning from ear to ear, big teeth in everyone’s faces.” You steal a seat on the stool beside your sister, fingers fiddling on your lap. “You’re living your dream. Sure, not everything is going to go by the book tonight, but the fact that it’s pretty damn close is good enough.”
She nods; tears begin to well up in her eyes and you groan. “Don’t cry, you’re gonna ruin your makeup!”
“I just—“ She snatches a tissue from a box nearby, dabbing the inner corners of her eyes to catch the tears before they fall. “That was good advice. And… I’ll take you up for it, that is… if you’ll take up on mine.”
Well… that’s different.
“Uh, what do you mean?”
Suji frowns. “I’m your little sister, but I’m not that little and I’m also not that dumb.” You tilt your head in confusion, uncertain where she was leading the conversation. “Remember back a couple months ago, when I came to visit you, my big sis, in the big city, living out her big dreams?”
“Uh… yeah?”
“And, despite your constant denial of being with someone, I still saw that bright look on your face whenever your phone lit up with a specific name that spread across the screen?”
You grimace. “I did not look like that.”
“Well, in comparison to now, I would say that during that time, it was a bit dim because now you look like the brightest star in the sky. I know… I know that you and Jungkook were uh… not really a fling, but not really a couple either.”
Intriguing, because you never showed any signs of this but Suji picked this up? “When you went to work that one day, he came by your place while I was staying there.” Your face drops. “OK, but before you get all pissy, hear me out.”
“Jeon Jungkook stopped by my apartment… as a fuck buddy, while my sister was there.”
“Right but—“
“What the hell!”
“I said listen!” Although you want to counter back, it’s her special day after all, and starting a fight with your sister on her wedding day isn’t the most ideal scenario. “I uh, he might’ve not realized it then, but he’s been smitten with you since then. Well, before, really, since it seemed like it wasn’t the first time he looked that way.”
Annoyed, it’s your turn to cross your arms. “Like what?”
“Like he wanted to impress me because he liked you.”
This is new. You can’t help but snort a laugh, the back of your hand covering your face in utter shock, shaking your head in disbelief at her observation. “Where are you going with this?”
She shrugs, pursing her lips as her eyes skim her bedroom. “That… I’m glad you finally took him in as your boyfriend officially. I know you’ve always advocated for being a career woman, but there’s no harm in being both a career woman and being in love. You don’t have to be those people who are dependent on their significant other, like mom, but you can just be… you when you’re with him. He can take care of you, and you can take care of him. Goes both ways.” Her eyes eventually meet yours. “I see the way he looks at you. He’s not the type of person like mom is, expecting you to toss everything you’ve worked hard for just to be a housewife. He likes you for… you. Potentially even love.”
There’s that l word again, the word that slipped off the tip of your tongue so carelessly during a night of intoxication. You weren’t even that drunk, you have to admit, because it was only a couple shots, but something in you spurred the words out like vomit. Jungkook has yet to confront you about it, and it only makes you feel queasy just thinking about what he’d potentially say.
“I… Maybe, I don’t know,” you sigh, watching outside the window to see the bridesmaid that you sent on a mission run back in a frenzy, probably fearing that your sister has transformed into Bridezilla once more. “Maybe I need a sweeter guy, one that has a decent job, shares a lot of things in common with me, and one day wants to settle.”
Suji furrows her brows. “Jungkook is sweet. When you went to the bathroom the other day, Horny—” Suji clears her throat, eyes scanning the room to confirm that your cousin isn’t there, “—Horny Hyunae tried pulling a move on him and he was quick to just reiterate once more that he’s yours and not hers. He’s sweet, sis, you’re just too scared to see it. And a decent job doesn’t mean he has to be a doctor. Imagine you being with another doctor. You guys would probably rarely meet. Plus, not all couples have to be a replica of each other—wouldn’t that be boring? And… And Jungkook… maybe he’s not confident right now, but if he really wanted to be with you and you wanted to settle, he’d at least take it into consideration. So… why can’t you fully put yourself in a relationship with him and give it a go? Not just use the term ‘boyfriend’ loosely, but… treat him like he’s your boyfriend, because he is.”
Before you could formulate a response, the bridesmaid is already up the stairs, panting as she hands you back the key fob while waving the tide to-go pen. “I got it!”
Tumblr media
“There you are,” Jungkook has a glass of champagne in hand, the liquid courage halfway full, with his other hand dug deep into the pockets of his trousers. “I’ve been waiting all this time for you. Met up with your sister?”
“Uh, yeah,” you nod, realizing that the two of you are matching in black attire. You’ve opted for a silky midnight dress, one that follows your silhouette almost tightly, and Jungkook would be lying if he didn’t say that he was watching you the entire time as you made your way toward him. “She was unleashing the demon inside of her because there was a minor stain on her dress. Worked out though, she’s calmer now.”
“Mm,” he hums, mimicking your nod. “Hope you’re not like that on our wedding day.”
You freeze.
There’s something weird about hearing Jungkook say ‘our’ instead of just ‘your’ with the word ‘wedding’ trailing behind it because it’s not… your wedding he’s thinking about, it’s the both of you. The thought of Jungkook standing at the alter, patiently waiting for your appearance down the aisle—fuck, erase erase. You shouldn’t even be thinking about anything of that nature, especially not since you haven’t even claimed Jungkook as your boyfriend officially. It’s too soon. It’s way too soon. He’s still a fuckboy.
Right?
Right.
Or so, you think. He’s different these days, and you say that quite often, but he’s truly been… different. He’s actually been toning down, trying to be less intolerable, but enough that he’s still himself. The other day, he made a flirtatious comment about your ass, but when a passerby complimented a girl standing inside the store, Jungkook glanced for a brief second but didn’t even bat a lash. He didn’t try getting her number, approaching her to compete with the other guy to ‘state his dominance.’ He just… stood by you, holding the menu in hand for you to see more clearly and asked, “are you sure you don’t want to get the spicier one?”
It’s even stranger that the two of you hang out casually now. Before, it’d be a quick booty call, sleep over, and that’s it. Wake up the next morning, shuffle to get your clothes on and make your way to work.
But now, he comes straight after work to your place, offers to either help cook dinner or stop by somewhere to grab something and stays the night.
Who the fuck is this guy?
You definitely need a drink. Eyes zooming directly on the glass in his hand, you don’t hesitate to snatch it and give it a swing. Jungkook isn’t fazed by this, using his now vacant hand to stuff into the other pocket. “I have a scar now from the stab,” he states nonchalantly, inspecting the look on your face. You’re without a doubt troubled, fighting with whatever thoughts it is inside of your head, and he assumes that it’s from your sister being married and not you, so his goal is to create some type of distraction. “I thought you said I wouldn’t get any scars from your stitching.”
“I never said that,” you roll your eyes. “I said it’ll make the scarring results a bit better. Why? You don’t like my work?”
“No, I love your work,” he responds, and that l word haunts you worse than a demon in those horror movies. “I just figured I would try to keep your mind off things by bringing it up.”
“Off what things?”
“You know,” he shrugs. “Your sister is getting married. I know you wanted to get married, and the stigma is that the older sibling is supposed to get married first, and there’s that superstition that if the younger one gets married before the older one, the older one won’t ever get married.”
Is… that what he thinks you’ve been so lost about?
It’s sort of endearing, hearing the way he talks about making attempts to create a shift in conversation so that you’re not feeling conflicted about being at your sister’s wedding. Because in reality, he’s the one occupying your mind. He’s taken over like a plague, infiltrating all your thoughts, to the point that when you’re grabbing boba tea from the shop around the corner for your apartment, your head immediately directs to ‘Is Jungkook over? Does he want a cup?’ And when you know he’d be over for the night, you don’t forget to put that extra towel on the hook in the bathroom for him when he showers. Or even making sure you have a couple water bottles in the fridge because Jungkook prefers to drink water cold than room temperature.
“Oh, I uh, I’m not really so worried about that,” you mention, rubbing your nape awkwardly. “They’re just superstitions.”
“Good, because they are. Your sister is about to get married and I still want to be with you.”
You nearly choke on the champagne, mid-sip and Jungkook rubs your back soothingly. “You alright?”
“Sorry, I just… I wasn’t sure if I heard that right.”
“Yeah, you did. I uh… I still mean what I said, even though this is entirely a new territory for me. I don’t want to say that we technically are boyfriend and girlfriend, but we’re literally at each other’s places everyday, I even have a spare toothbrush sitting on your sink. So… I hope that in comfort, that superstition doesn’t play when it comes to you. I still want to… be with you.”
You don’t get a chance to slip in a response because the music begins to play, and you and Jungkook quickly claim the seats in the front row.
It’s beautiful, you have to admit, all this effort that your sister put into this day has really been worth it. Your childhood home’s backyard doesn’t feel like it today—today, it’s her wedding venue.
The flowers are a beautiful shade of lavender (her favorite color), and they cascade down the armrests of the seats that line the aisle, with matching ribbons that tie around the backings on top of the white cloth that cover the chairs. Her future husband stands at the front, hands probably sweaty and heart racing like he’s just run a marathon. And the way his eyes light up at the sight of your sister, at the other end of the aisle with her arm linked with your dad’s, your heart swells.
The little flower girl that tosses the petals into the air practically dances on her route, and the ring bearer can barely walk without falling (he’s adorable, they have the rings tied to the pillow he’s holding because they predicted this). You can’t help but notice your mom’s face through it all—eyes welling up with tears, smiling so wide with her cheeks close to bursting in happiness and excitement, all while clasping her hands together and constantly gushing with her friends surrounding her. “Oh!” She exclaims, shaking her head. “My lovely daughter is getting married!”
You want to scowl, but you won’t. Today is your sister’s day, not yours, and her happiness was a priority. But the way your mom gazes at your sister dreamily, walking down the aisle with the biggest grin on her face, and her constant probing from the weeks before about how you’re never going to get married at this rate only makes you feel small, despite the fact you made yourself into this independent, strong person. Albeit none of that matters when your mother still looks at you disappointingly.
It’s like Jungkook senses the shift in your emotions, because he rests his hand comfortingly on your thigh, just above the knee, and when your eyes lock, his expression softens.
The ceremony flows well; there’s tears, laughs, and hollers, all supporting the main couple. They say their vows, exchange rings, and end things off with a loving kiss that sparks fireworks into the sky. That look on Suji’s face is filled with infatuation, hopelessly in love with the man in front of her, but the moment you glance at her new husband’s face—it’s a mirror of hers.
You… want that.
Jungkook has mentioned before that maybe these things are just something that you might want but may not truly want for yourself. But seeing your sister have it is only confirmation of it, and part of you… wishes that you had someone like that.
And for the first time, Jungkook comes to mind.
Maybe it’s because he’s sitting next to you, you attempt to reason, albeit he’s always been running through your head. The fact that the two of you had gotten relatively closer these past few weeks, him waiting patiently for a specific label to be presented by you, was adding to more of the reasons why he’s now a perfect candidate versus the old version of himself.
When the reception begins, you shoo Jungkook to find something occupy himself while you lend a hand to your sister and mom with greeting any additional guests that come in.
From his perspective, he feels like a balloon with too much air in it, threatening to burst.
Not that he was gassy, but more like he was filled with… emotion, and impatience, close to rupturing. Especially lately, Jungkook has been rethinking his entire life plan, ever since you decided that it was either date seriously or nothing. Truthfully, he thought that he could convince you otherwise—lead you to wish for an uncommitted relationship, but if he was to confess sincerely… you seemed to have changed his mind.
He saw your relatives chasing the kids around who holler and giggle gleefully, smiles plastered widely on their faces. One of your cousins, Nayeon (if he remembers their name correctly), was running after her toddler daughter around the second floor of your parents’ house after the baby showered, completely in the nude. He saw your grandfather, standing in the corner of the hallway, trying his best to catch the little one but his stomach was too big and he couldn't bend over far enough to grab her.
But then he saw Naeun’s husband; albeit his wife was sweating, hair out of place and completely stressed out by this crazy toddler, his face… exhibits adoration.
“Baby,” he remembers the man calling out to his love, snatching her up into his embrace with a soothing hum. “Go rest up. I’ll get her dressed and ready for bed, yeah?”
Naeun’s shoulders drop, eyes sunken from tiredness. She’s probably been taking care of the baby nonstop, and having to deal with family members in the midst of it, so when her husband stops her, it’s like she’s finally got a second to breathe again. “I—But the baby,”
“Yes, I got her,” he assures her, pressing a kiss on her temple. “I’ll take care of it. Go shower and rest up.”
And for a brief moment, Jungkook thought it was the two of you.
He sees himself, telling you to take a breather, to let him watch over the little ones as you shower. He sees himself, pressing gentle kisses on the crown of your head with an exchanging soft chuckle between the two of you, whispering a brisk ‘I love you’s because the kids are at it again with their crazy shenanigans, bulldozing everything in sight before he can get a chance to keep up with them. He sees himself, that day when your sister is looking up at her now-husband, but instead of your sister, it’s you.
To be quite fair, Jungkook isn’t a hundred percent solid on whether or not he wants this specific future. It’s particularly different from the route he’s always presented to himself, and it’s an uncharted territory for him but one thing he knows for sure is that he wants you.
He wants to see you when he comes home after a day of work, he wants you beside him on weekday nights, snuggling underneath the blanket while on the couch, watching some stupid movie you chose. He favors eating from those take-out boxes or even a nice home cooked meal, but only because you’re with him, despite the fact that there’s not much that the two of you have in common… something about you specifically that has his heart stuttering recently, and being around your family only furthers it.
So when he’s resting his arms on a tall table, beer in hand, blazer unbuttoned and the first few of his dress shirt let loose while faintly listening to some of the men his age that he’s become familiar with at the wedding, he can’t fully focus on anything other than you from across the venue.
Hair let free, cascading over your exposed shoulders, and pretty collarbones out for everyone to see, Jungkook doesn’t think there’s anyone in comparison when it comes to you. The head attached to those graceful shoulders holds so much intelligence, always teaching him something new with each encounter he has with you, and he truly feels grateful to have met someone like you.
“Hey,” one of the dudes calls out, interrupting Jungkook’s dreamy gaze in your direction. “Hottie at 6:00.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue, lazily turning to where the guy points out, along with the other three guys with him. It’s both Horny—Hyunae (he has to remind himself to stop saying that because you keep engraving it into his head) with another one of your relatives (Jungkook can’t keep up with all their names). “Which one?” the one dude with purple hair queries.
“Both,” the original guy says, smirking as he takes another sip of his drink before nudging Jungkook. “You tryna get one and I get the other?”
“Hey, what about me?” the purple hair guy looks at him with a confused expression. “Am I not hot enough?”
“In comparison to him? Nah. I’d rather have him as my wingman. You see the tattoos on his hands? Probably makes those girls’ panties wet in mere seconds.”
Jungkook waves them both off. “Nah, count me out. I got another one I’m targeting.”
The first guy scoffs, putting his drink beside Jungkook, more intrigued by him than the girls now. “Interesting. You have another girl in mind? Who is it? I wanna see.”
Without hesitation, Jungkook gestures to your direction, straightening his posture when he sees you turning, giving him a small wave before going back to the guests again, shaking their hands and giving them your lovely smiles.
“The bride’s sister?”
“Shit, I know her. That’s a stretch.”
He can’t help but let out a laugh, shaking his head at the guys, lifting his beer up in the air. “Wanna see my game? Since you think I’m hot enough to land any girl, right? Watch this.”
With that, he makes his way over to you, and when you turn to him with a smile that’s softer, warmer than the ones you’ve been handing off to the guests, he feels his heart blooming more than all the flowers at the venue. He’s never felt like this before—this thing happening inside of him where his chest is tight, stomach doing flips despite not being nervous about anything, other than just being in close proximity. Have you always been this pretty?
A hand on your waist, you pat his chest comfortingly before resuming back to your activities, and Jungkook turns to give a wink at the guys who stand in awe, mouths dropped at his game.
If they only knew.
He wasn’t the one that caught you. You caught him.
Tumblr media
The weekend was nice, you have to admit; spending time with your family (even though they were super judgemental at times) and seeing your sister get happily married was blissful.
But all good things come to an end.
Holding the end of your clipboard against yourself, you’re skimming through the patient’s chart with previous notes made by the doctor, orders on what she should be more cautious about, and directions on how to prevent another instance. Yet, she’s here. In a room in the ER, claiming to have liver issues yet again.
“This is your second time here, Lisa,” you purse your lips, taking a seat on the swivel stool. “What’s up? I thought the last doctor told you to cut your alcohol intake. Even the specialist said the same thing.”
“I did!” She exclaims defensively.
You drop the clipboard onto the tray beside you before crossing your arms, “... so how’d you do that? How much were you drinking instead?”
“What do you mean? I just ran a knife through it while pouring.”
You almost gave yourself a physical facepalm, but your job description doesn’t have ‘make patients feel dumb’ or ‘call them fucking idioits’ in it, unfortunately.
After following the procedures to take care of Lisa, you’ve sent her off to proper care. Leaving her room, you let out a heavy sigh, pumping a couple squirts of hand sanitizer from a bottle that sits at the nurses’ station when you notice Nurse Hyerim peering at you suspiciously. “Uh… yes, Hyerim?”
“So, about Dr. Hyunjin—”
“Mm,” you hum teasingly, resting your forearms against the counter, a smirk tugging on the edges of your lips. “Dr. Hyunjin’s name seems to come out of your mouth quite frequently. Are you going to ask me if I’m going on a date with him again? Just out of curiosity and thirst for drama to share through the grapevine? Or perhaps…” your wag your finger jokingly before pointing at her. “... you’re interested in Dr. Hyunjin and wanna take him out on a date.”
Hyerim is stuttering, words unable to escape from her mouth properly. “I-Uh, I—”
“Mm, if that’s the case, then no, I am not seeing him again, and you’re more than welcome to hit that.”
In disbelief, she puffs a breath of air that blows her hair away from her face. “Wh—What? It’s not even like that! What about you? What happened between the two of you?”
You shrug nonchalantly, playing with the pens in the plastic holder. “Nothing just… you know.”
This time, it’s Nurse Hyerim’s turn to taunt you. “Does this… have to do with that pretty boy from 18B?”
“I mean…” just the thought of Jungkook has your face heated. The two of you haven’t been able to have a proper conversation about what happened the day at the wedding, what he professed, and how you felt in return. “Would it be crazy? You know. For the two of us to be together. Insane, right?”
Hyerim’s confused. “What? You do realize you’re two hot people… right?”
“It’s not even like that.”
“Well, what’s the problem?” She tilts her head, puzzled. “Does he still not want to be your boyfriend?”
“Uh, actually, he wants to date now.”
Hyerim slams her hand on the counter, completely baffled. A couple heads turn and you wince internally. “Are you kidding? No offense doc, you’re hella smart but also very stupid. We’re talking about hottie in 18B here—“ geez, you’re praying no one is currently occupying 18B right now “—the one that has that rep of being a ‘fuckboy’ and I don’t even have to know him to know that. He wants you, bitch you better go for that before someone else snatches him.”
“Did you just call me a bitch?”
“Heat of the moment. You get it.”
“Mm,” you hum because everything Hyerim is saying isn’t new information. “Alright. I’ll… I’ll talk to him tonight. Maybe. We’ll see.”
Jungkook mentions prior to your lunch break that he’ll be over tonight, but “later. gotta take care of some stuff back at my apartment.” And at first, you considered waiting patiently in your living room, wine on the table and maybe in some cute ass lingerie and a silky robe—but why wait when you can just… go to him?
Of course, you’re not insane. It's been chilly recently these nights, so you’re not going to go strutting in lingerie underneath a thin ass robe. But, you’ll sport those jeans he says makes your ass look juicy, and a comfortable long sleeve to get him thinking that nothing will happen at the end of the night. (Spoiler: dirty things are going to happen that night.)
But you’re starting to learn from your mistakes, something that they teach you throughout all of your education career, from preschool up to high school, and even in college. They teach you in books; the life lesson is to learn from your mistakes and try your best not to make them again.
So, when Jungkook opens the door, completely shocked and unsure what to say, you’re left speechless too.
He didn’t lie—you make this very clear, but he wasn’t being entirely candid and open either.
Because that girl that stabbed him—the one that caused the scar in his abdomen, the one that made you be the one to tend to his wounds, is sitting in the dining room, with who you assume is her parents, all dolled up for the occasion while the mother lays the dishes on the glass table.
“What—What’s happening?” That’s all you can say. Well, what else could you say? You’re a doctor. You should keep your composure—acting out only makes you look bad and what if the cops come? A doctor getting arrested?
To be fair—you’re not that intense to warrant a visit from the cops.
But nonetheless, you’re fuming.
“Baby,” he whispers softly, shutting his door behind him to push you out into the hall. “I thought I said we’d meet after I take care of some things.”
“Take care of some bitch like she’s your girlfriend?” What the fuck is this guy talking about? How dense is he? “You got her parents in there too? What is this? Meet-the-boyfriend dinner? Did you come to my place for practice or what?”
“Baby,” Jungkook says again, quieter. “Relax. I actually wanted to talk to you about this tonight.”
“Bullshit—“
“Fuck! Alright, I know it was wrong of me and I should’ve told you earlier, but I thought she was over it and I cut her off, okay? I didn’t know she’d bring her fucking parents here!”
If having question marks above your head was an action that occurred in real life, now would be the time for them to appear. “Huh?”
“Can we talk about this later?” He says, those chocolate pools he calls his eyes are pulling you in, and in mere seconds, you’re already drowning in the sweetness. "I know it sounds insane, but there's a very good reason why I'm being so shady about this. It's not because I don't like you, or that I'm playing you either. I just... this is an embarrassing side of me and I really just want to figure this out before I make... us work."
You suck in your cheeks in defeat. He has a way with words, you admit, but you're starting to feel like he's testing his chances with you. “11:00PM. Sharp. If you’re not at my doorstep by then, you can consider this done.”
← previous chapter || next chapter →​​
595 notes · View notes
babymetaldoll · 3 years
Text
Stargazing (Spencer Reid/Reader)
Tumblr media
Requested: No, but I needed some hardcore fluff
Summary: The team is “forced” to go camping, and Spencer finally decides to make “his move” on Reader.
Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader
Category: Hardcore fluff
Warnings: Zero
Word count: 3,2K
Masterlist
-
-
It was the first time the BAU didn't argue Strauss's decision. She had walked into the conference room and explained to the team that the FBI had decided each department had to do a workshop related to teamwork and trust.
- "You will spend this weekend camping together. You will be part of a Team-Building Training Workshop"- Strauss wasn't excited about the idea of her best team wasting a whole weekend. But she was glad her department didn't have to do the activity. She hated camping.
- "Are you telling me we have to spend our weekend in sleeping bags, singing kumbaya?"- Rossi raised an eyebrow and looked at Erin, and she didn't move a muscle- "I'm out."
- "David, I'm not asking you if you want to do it. The whole team has to be part of this activity, that includes you."
- "Come on, Rossi,"- Prentiss smiled and tried to cheer him up- "It will be a nice change from catching serial killers for a weekend.
- "Really, Emily?"- Rossi crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Reid- "Hey, kid. How many dead bodies are found each year in the woods in the country?"
- "Over 2.543 last year,"- Spencer answered. And didn't stop talking, of course- "We can not be sure they were all serial killer related cases. The most common ways to die in the woods are drowning, car accident, and suicide."
- "Suicide it is."- David whispered. He knew it was going to be a long weekend.
Even when he wasn't a person who loved camping and outdoor activities, Spencer was excited to spend the weekend with the team, especially with (Y/N). His teammate, best friend, and secret crush. Ok, it wasn't really a secret.
Of course, everybody knew about Spencer's feelings. He never successfully hid them from the team. You didn't need to be a profiler to notice each time (Y/N) walked into a room, Reid's eyes would follow her, and his cheeks blushed. When they sat together in the jet, Spencer would always be too self-aware of his own movements. He would try not to move, especially when she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. And when they were working on a case together, he would always cover her on the field, and he would make sure she was safe, even when the unsub was already caught.
He loved her. Even a blind man could see. Except for (Y/N), of course. Because according to her own words: "There's no way Spencer Reid is in love with me. He would never look at me that way. He is perfect, and I'm a mess. He deserves the perfect genius girl."
-
- "Ok, Romeo, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to make your move"- Derek and Reid were alone in the SUV on their way to the retreat.
- "Sure. Because there's no better time to make a fool out of myself than in front of all my friends in the middle of nowhere."
- "What's with the attitude, pretty Ricky? Relax"- Morgan frowned and put on some music, singing along for a moment. Reid looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.
- "Ok man, picture this: you, your pretty lady, in the middle of the night, gazing at the stars together, alone in the middle of the forest. The full moon is the only light."
- "Who are you? since when are you a romance expert?"
- "Hey! I can be romantic!"
- "I've seen you get girls only by raising an eyebrow"- Reid argued, and he was right. It had happened once, but that was another completely different story.
- "What I'm trying to tell you is that you have the perfect chance to tell her how you feel during this trip"- Spencer was about to start debating that idea when Derek continued.
- "And stop saying she has no feeling for you!"
Reid bit his tongue and looked at the road. Neither of them said a word for the next couple of minutes. Until Spencer whispered
- "But she doesn't"
- "She does!!"- Derek nearly yelled
- "Why are you so sure?!"
- "Because she told Penelope she is in love with you!!"
The silence in the car was as intense as the red in Spencer's cheeks. Derek knew he shouldn't have said that, but he was tired of seeing his best friend's sad eyes each time he stared at (Y/N). Someone had to do something, and he knew neither of them would make the first move.
- "Are you sure?"- Reid's mouth was hanging open- "I mean, maybe she was joking."
- "No, she was honest. So please, this weekend, make your freaking move."
-
How could Spencer ever make his move? He had no idea. He didn't even have a "move"! But something inside of him felt a little more confident now.
That didn't show on the outside at all, 'cos during the whole day, he was more clumsy than ever. He dropped his coffee. He failed the first two attempts to set up his tent and nearly fell carrying logs for the fire.
He wanted to dig a hole and hid.
But (Y/N) didn't notice any of that. Not because she didn't pay attention, but because she was oblivious to any of those things. She just couldn't stop staring: He was wearing jeans. Spencer Walter Reid was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. (Y/N) thought she was going to have a heart attack when he got out of the car.
Sure, yes, she had seen him outside work in a more casual outfit, but nothing prepared her for Spencer's camping clothing. It suited him too well for his own good.
- "Hello? Anybody there?"- Prentiss waved at (Y/N). She and JJ stood in front of her, trying to catch her attention.
- "Jesus! you look like a schoolgirl today!"- JJ teased her, laughing- "Can you be more obvious?"
- "What are you talking about?"- (Y/N) tried to look all innocent and continued setting the logs for the campfire.
- "If Spencer wasn't so clueless about your feelings, I swear you two would be already married,"- Emily joked and helped (Y/N) with the logs. The young SSA just shook her head and tried to keep her eyes from Reid for as long as she could. She successfully did it for five minutes. That day's record.
- "(Y/N), hey"- he stood by her side, and she quickly stood up.
- "Hey, how are you doing?"
- "Good... you?"- she just nodded and smiled. She really was acting like a schoolgirl in front of Spencer- "Great... hey, I thought maybe tonight you would like to do some stargazing with me..."- Emily and JJ heard him and nearly squealed. They tried to look away, but it was impossible. They needed to know what was happening. Where was García? she was going to be so mad she missed that.
- "Yeah! I'm sure tonight we can see way more stars than on your building's roof like last time."
(Y/N) answered, smiling, thinking there was nothing more romantic than being underneath a starry sky, listening to Spencer talking about constellations.
- "Ok, kids,"- Rossi's voice stepping out of his huge camper interrupted them and forced everybody to turn around- "Let's do this trust thing we are forced to do before it's lunchtime. Maybe we can manage to go home early."
-
Of course, they weren't. The whole team had to work as a unit to fulfill a series of activities an expert team the FBI had hired forced them to do. Aaron thought it was unnecessary, considering they worked on the field together, and they trusted each other with their lives all the time. But he was also sure his team needed a break, and everybody could use some fresh air.
- "Great work, team"- Hotch hugged everybody and smiled when the whole activity was done- "I think we've earned a nice dinner."
- "Please don't tell me we have to hunt our food"- Penelope wide opened her eyes suddenly and looked at Hotch- "I can eat blueberries."
- "Don't worry, kids"- Rossi shook his head and pointed to his camper- "Anyone in the mood for a nice steak?"
- "I bought marshmallows for the campfire later,"- (Y/N) said and smiled- "You are never too old for some s'more."
- "Scary stories by the fire eating s'mores? I'm ten years old again"- JJ looked excited- "I need to do this with Henry."
- "Just don't tell him your "I'm scared of the woods because I found the camp director dead" story." - Derek said, smiling.
- "You freaked out!"- JJ chuckled, remembering how she had scared her friends a few years earlier while working on a case in the woods.
- "I need to hear that story!"- Emily said- "I bet it's no better than mine, I'm sure."
- "Battle of horror stories?"- (Y/N) smiled evilly- "You two have nothing on me."
-
The evening was fun and a little terrifying. Garcia was holding Derek's arm so tight it was starting to feel numb. Rossi and Hotch had told a couple of stories that left the team completely frightened, to be fair. Especially Spencer. He had forgotten an essential part of his plan: nights in the woods are dark as pitch. And he was afraid of the dark. How would he successfully take (Y/N) to a nice spot, sit down and stare at the stars with her if he was too scared to move from the fire?
(Y/N) looked at Reid and sighed. Maybe he had regretted it. Of course, he hasn't forgotten his invitation, 'cos Spencer remembered everything. Still, he hadn't made any move or sign to go stargazing. Being alone with him in the dark was scary but in the right way. Maybe she could finally tell him how she felt. No, no way. That wasn't going to happen.
- "Ok, so... it's late, and we are out of wine"- Rossi stood up and looked at the team- "I am ready to go to my comfy bed"- the rest of the team groaned. They were going to spend the night in a tent, probably freezing, while Rossi was going to be in his warm camper.
- "I'm going to sleep too, we have trekking in the morning, and it's going to be a long walk. I suggest you all go to bed early."- Hotch stood up and waved at the team, to then walk to his tent."
- "Sweet chocolate thunder, is there room in your tent for me?"- Penelope asked, and he chuckled immediately
- "Are you still scared of the stories? they are just made up things people create to terrify us."
- "I know. But I'm also scared of bears, psycho killers, and slender man"- Morgan looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't joking.
- "Bring your sleeping bag."
- "You are my hero. I love you."
Prentiss and JJ went to bed soon after, leaving the two love birds alone.
- "Stargazing?"- Reid whispered, and (Y/N) nodded- "We should find a darker stop... or we can stay here by the fire if you like."
- "Are we going to get a nice view here?"- (Y/N) looked at the stars and tried to see anything.
- "No, it has to be darker,"- Spencer whispered, taking a look around- "There was a nice spot by the cliff, that way."
- "I don't think walking to a cliff in the middle of the night is a good idea"- (Y/N) smiled, and Reid shook his head
- "You are right..."
- "But we can walk carefully and carry a flashlight,"- she added and smiled, looking at him. His brown curls moved with the wind, and his chocolate eyes were brighter than the sparks of fire next to them.
- "That sounds good."
Spencer stood still for a second. He had a blanket in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other. (Y/N) put on her scarf and jacket and stared at him.
- "Are you ok?"
- "Yeah."
He wasn't. He was trying to calm himself down, thinking that walking in the middle of the dark was worthy because it meant spending time alone with (Y/N).
He kept telling himself he didn't have to worry because nothing was going to happen. He wished he had his gun with him in case of any danger, though. Maybe that could make him feel better.
- "You can't kill darkness, stupid"- he whispered to himself and sighed. (Y/N) walked a step closer and took the marshmallow bag. Then, she held his hand.
- "Let's go?"
That was all Spencer needed. He was ready.
- "Did you know astronomy is the oldest of the sciences?- Reid whispered as they walked hand in hand to a nice clear spot - "Ancient astronomers were able to differentiate between stars and planets, as stars remain relatively fixed over the centuries while planets will move an appreciable amount during a comparatively short time."
- "And when did you start learning about the stars?"- Spencer loved that. How each time he started rambling, she wouldn't get annoyed like the rest of the people he knew. Instead, she would always ask him something related to the subject. And it was usually something personal. She wanted to learn more about him and how he had ended up being such an amazing human being.
- "When I was four, mom started taking me regularly to the library. That was when I started to learn more about science. I could pick ten books each time we were there, and I decided I wanted to know everything I could about everything I loved."
Spencer confessed and smiled, looking at her. His heart was warm with their conversations. He was never comfortable talking about his personal life, especially about his childhood. But with (Y/N), it all came naturally.
- "How often did she take you?"
- "Every other day"- she chuckled and remembered the pictures Diana had shown her of Spencer when he was a little kid last time they visited her. He was adorable, with his glasses and his messy hair. It was impossible not to imagine having a family with him.
- "This is it... this is a good spot."- Spencer said and stopped walking. He moved a log and tapped on it, smiling at (Y/N). She sat with him, and he wrapped them together with the blanket.
- "So, what am I staring at?"- (Y/N) asked and kept her eyes on the starry sky. It seemed she had never seen so many stars. And they even looked closer. Spencer looked at her, and his heart skipped a beat. He was about to start a lecture on astronomy, but instead, he decided to do "his move." Or the move he could think of. He didn't really know if it was a move, but he was going to give it a shot anyway.
- "Most stargazers learn about constellations looking for different noticeable patterns across the sky"- he made a pause clearing his throat. That was it. He was going to do it.
- "That's how it all started,"- he continued- "Some of these noticeable patterns up there are still the same ones our ancestors noticed while sitting around a campfire telling stories like we did today."
- "Telling stories about the stars sounds a lot less creepy, though" - (Y/N) whispered, and the two of them smiled- "Wanna tell me a story about these stars?"
There was no way Spencer could say not to her puppy eyes.
- "Ok... let's see..."- Reid sighed and thought for a moment, looking at the constellations above them- "Do you see those stars over there that look like a cute bunny?"
- "Which ones?"- Spencer pointed at the sky, and (Y/N) nodded- "I see them"
- "Well, you'll see, there was a comet in love with the bunny, but it could only look at her from a safe distance."- Spencer finally confessed. (Y/N) held her breath for a second and tried not to get her hopes high.
- "Why?"
- "Well, the comet was afraid he wasn't good enough for the bunny"- Spencer was whispering, and his soft voice sent shivers to (Y/N)'s body- "So he stared at his favorite constellation every day and only imagined what it would feel like to hold her in his arms."
- "And the bunny never saw the comet?"- (Y/N) asked softly, while very, very slowly, she moved her hand and reached Spencer's.
- "The bunny thought the comet just wanted to be her friend because he was scared to tell her how he felt,"
(Y/N) kept thinking there was no way on earth Spencer was telling her how he felt about her with that adorable story. Was he? Really? 'cos it was too romantic, and if he wasn't and she was wrong... it would be heartbreaking. But, there was only one way to find out.
- "I think the bunny felt the same, but she thought she wasn't good enough for the comet"- Spencer's heart raced at those words, and he turned to look at (Y/N). She blushed and stared at him with a shy smile.
- "Why would the bunny ever think that?"
- "The comet is too brilliant and too amazing to settle for a simple constellation when he could have the sun."
(Y/N) was embarrassed to confess those feelings, but it was now or never.
- "But the bunny is the sun in the comet's life."- Spencer whispered and caressed her cheek with his thumb carefully.
- "Really?"- her voice was so soft, it melted Spencer completely. He couldn't answer. All he could do was to lean in slowly and kissed her as gently as he could, enjoying the sensation of her lips against his. He cupped her face with both hands and moved a little closer.
It was the sweetest kiss he had ever given. It wasn't just because (Y/N)'s lips tasted like marshmallow, but because it was filled with pure love. He could feel it, even when he still couldn't believe it. She loved him. She really did.
(Y/N) was sure that wasn't really happening. She had probably fallen down the cliff earlier and was now unconscious or dead, living a fantasy. There was no way Spencer Reid was kissing her.
When they slowly moved and looked at each other, neither of them knew what to say. So (Y/N) did what she always dreamed of doing and leaned in and kissed him again. Spencer didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around her waist, moving her closer to him. Her hands played shyly with some of the curls of his hair, and they simply kissed for what seemed to be forever, even when it wasn't enough time for them. Spencer felt he could kiss her his whole life, and he still wouldn't get enough of her.
- "So..."- (Y/N) whispered after some minutes and looked at Spencer, blushing- "Do you think the comet and the bunny could... maybe try to be more than friends?"
He smiled and kissed her again, rubbing her lips carefully with his; (Y/N) sighed into the kiss.
- "The comet is willing to do anything the bunny asks him because he just wants to make her happy all day, every day."
(Y/N) couldn't speak. She could only kiss him again and again.
- "Bunny just wants her comet to be happy too."
- "Then would Bunny be the comet's girlfriend?"- she giggled and nodded- "Good, because I don't think I could ever live without your kisses ever again, Bunny."
- "Neither do I, Comet"
And after that, stargazing was forgotten. There were enough stars in their kisses to keep the two of them lost in their own new universe. 
1K notes · View notes
beyondspaceandstars · 3 years
Note
One shot | Bucky | Fluffy: 1 , 9 | Angst: 5 , 6 | w/ a happy ending
I kinda wanted to make it a challenge, and I thought these prompts were the most interesting! If you do choose to do it, I hope you have fun! Have a great day ❤️
Pizza With a Side of Confessions
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: N/A, bit fluff, bit angst
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: thank you so so much for requesting! this also include in the second ask you sent i did see it and make note of it! you certainly did give me a challenge here this one took some real mapping out to complete but i think i got it i hope i checked off all the boxes :)
Masterlist
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You had sworn the knock on your door was going to be from your date. The sleazy, creepy date you had just rejected on the stoop of your apartment building.
He had ended up being the complete opposite of what he appeared to be online. Through text messages, he seemed caring and kind. Interested in you. But then when you two met… He hands kept groping. Wandering. Caressing. You had begged him to stop in the restaurant which he eventually did after he walked you home, something you only agreed to to keep the peace, he began working on you again and you had to put your foot down, forbidding the night from going further.
He didn’t look too happy about your attitude which made you assume when that knock landed on your door, it was him and he was coming back for revenge. You had grabbed the first knife you could find and quickly pulled the door open, ready to hopelessly defend yourself…
But as you blinked back the tears cascading down your face, welling in your eyes, you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes along with a familiar frown.
"Bucky?" You sniffled, still pointing the knife at your best friend’s chest.
"Hey, doll," Bucky said, cautiously. He was standing as still as he could while also balancing a pizza box in his arms. "Do you… Do you maybe want to drop the knife, like, right now?"
You shook yourself out of your daze, quickly pulling the knife away from him. He visibly relaxed but his expression was cold, serious, as it took in your upset form. You brought the back of your hand to your face trying to get rid of the tears but they just wouldn’t stop.
"I-I’m sorry," you mumbled as you stepped away from the doorway, letting Bucky into the apartment. He immediately abandoned the pizza on your kitchen counter and turned to you, brows furrowing in waves of worry.
"What happened?" He asked — well, more like growled. If a man could growl. He truly sounded beyond angry which made you jump a bit. Bucky must’ve noticed because he immediately took a step back and tried recomposing himself. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just — seeing you cry — I need to know, whose ass am I kicking now."
You let out a light laugh at that, seeing his such protective side. You and Bucky had formed quite an interesting friendship over time. When you two first met, he loved bickering with you, teasing you here and there about anything and everything. You’d be the bud of the joke with him and while you tried not to let it bother you, admittedly, it had very quickly gotten quite annoying. Eventually, he seemed to just abandon the act and while you were cautious, you welcomed the newfound friendship — Lord knows those were hard to come across in adulthood.
Bucky has been an amazing friend to you ever since. Maybe even a little too amazing because over time you couldn’t deny some feelings had begun to form. But in your eyes, there could be no way such a handsome, funny man was going to be as interested in you. You tried to suppress it and instead just taught yourself to enjoy his little acts of kindness.
"I-I went on another date tonight," you sighed, setting the knife back in its holder. You leaned against the counter, opposite of Bucky. His arms were folded, waiting. "I and this guy had been texting for a while and… and I really thought he was great, I truly did, but then when we met he just made me so uncomfortable. All touchy, feely… Just making my skin crawl, even now." You sighed, dropping your gaze to the kitchen floor. "I told him I wasn’t interested after he walked me home and he didn’t seem very happy about it so… When you knocked, I thought it was him trying to get into my apartment."
You felt like such a fool explaining the situation. Despite this being Bucky and knowing, at some capacity, he wasn’t going to hold it over you, it was still embarrassing. You seemed to be constantly going on these dates trying to find a partner and time after time you came up disappointed. And Bucky would always be there to pick up the pieces.
When you looked back up at your friend, you found he was studying you closely. He was sure taking a while to respond but, then again, what more could he say? You felt he probably had grown exhausted trying to comfort you after these failed dates.
And it seemed your suspicions had been confirmed — but not in a way you could have ever seen coming.
Bucky cleared his throat as if he was preparing. You took a deep breath, ready for whatever blow he was about to serve. Would he yell at you? Would he give some speech on his disappointed he is? Beg you to delete the apps? Would he—
"Maybe you just shouldn’t be going on those dates anymore."
"Huh?" You frowned.
Bucky sighed. "You can’t keep putting yourself through this."
"But how else will I find someone to date? I’m not getting any younger here, Buck."
He turned away suddenly. You heard him let out a deep sigh. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears.
"You could maybe start by looking at the man in front of you."
Your jaw just about hit the floor. "B-Bucky—"
But there was no stopping him as he went in for the declaration. "Remember when we first met and I used to tease you relentlessly? At the time, did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t hate you? That I wasn’t doing it out of spite? I was doing it because I was nervous. Here waltzes in this amazing, beautiful woman, and I-I didn’t know what to do. I was falling for you and I couldn’t stop it. Hell, I’m still falling for you. Every day, darling. Every goddamn day." He paused, shaking his head. "I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear tonight but I can’t sit here any longer watching you get taken advantage of by the men in this city. I’m sorry it’s coming out like this but I think you needed to hear it. I apologize for that but I won’t apologize for loving you."
You didn’t know what to do. All you could focus on was Bucky’s pleading eyes and the tears forming in your own. But they were coming on for a good reason this time. They weren’t wasted tears over an uncomfortable date. They were tears of relief.
"Do-Do you really mean all that?" You finally asked.
Bucky nodded. "Every word."
In a spontaneous move, you pushed yourself away from the counter and took determined strides towards Bucky. You threw your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. It took Bucky a second to react but you eventually felt his arms snake around you.
"I love you, too, Buck," you mumbled into his chest. You felt his body shake as he chuckled.
"You sure, doll?"
You nodded. "I’ve loved you for a while, too. I just never thought you’d ever…"
"Stop," Bucky said. "Don’t say anymore. Whatever you thought, it’s not true. I have always loved you."
You pulled away from his chest, putting some distance between you two but keeping your arms locked around him. He was looking down at you with a great mixture of relief and adornment on his face. You couldn’t help but smile. You felt the same.
"I can’t believe this," you giggled. "So are we… Are we like…"
Bucky laughed. "I think we need a date first."
You gasped, happily. "A date?"
He nodded then untangled himself from you. You watched as Bucky walked over to the forgotten pizza. "How about pizza and a movie?"
You looked between Bucky and the pizza box. "Bucky, do you want to explain why you were at my door with a pizza?"
Realization flashed across Bucky’s face. "I-I didn’t come here expecting a date or anything, I swear. I stopped by because… well, I didn’t know you had your date and thought at the very least we could hang out. I even got your favorite."
You smiled, stalking over to the pizza. "Pepperoni and jalapeños?"
Bucky scoffed. "I did say I got your favorite, didn’t I?"
You let out a cheerful squeal as you hugged Bucky again, throwing your arms around his neck. He leaned into you and it all felt natural, like the stars in the sky had finally aligned.
You broke away and said, "You take the pizza and find a movie. I’ll grab some plates."
Bucky agreed and you two broke into your separate tasks, eventually coming back together to sit on your living room couch. At first, though, you two just kind of stood there, the smell of pizza wafting between you two. You weren’t just sitting on the couch to watch a movie — you were sitting down, on a date, to watch a movie.
But you were tired of being so hesitant and running into wrongs after wrongs. You were taking this opportunity. You sat on the couch and patted the spot right next to you. Once Bucky sat down, you got a bit bolder and threw his arm over you, allowing you to cuddle into him. He was a bit tense at first but soon eased up, welcoming you to invade his space.
Bucky had decided on some action movie but you didn’t particularly care about it. All you could focus on was the fact you were cuddling with Bucky while eating pizza. It was a date. A real date where the touching felt natural and you weren’t scared of saying the wrong thing. Had you really been so blind?"
The emotions and questions within you were building quickly. You needed a way to break it, to distract yourself. You landed on your sad, silly humor to save the day.
"Hey, Buck," you mumbled as the car on screen blew up or something. You didn’t know, you just shifted closer into Bucky — if that was even possible. His hold on you got tighter.
"Yeah, doll?"
"Remember when I pulled a knife on you? That’s crazy. Who would’ve guessed a little civilian like myself could hold a knife to the Winter Soldier and live to tell the tale." You were well aware that you were rambling now, the roller coaster of a night catching up to you, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind.
The laughter that escaped him was like music to your ears. His body shook beneath you as he comically laughed at your ridiculous comment.
“You drive me up the wall sometimes, darling," Bucky mumbled back once he had calmed down.
You giggled, "Better get used to it."
"Yeah," he sighed, "I guess I better."
268 notes · View notes
luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
Text
If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning
Tumblr media
Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 5,600ish
Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury
A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
________
It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.
“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”
“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”
“You got so much wrong about me kid.”
You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.
“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.
“Y/N.”
You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer. 
“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down. 
“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said. 
“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”
“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”
“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”
You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.
“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”
“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”
“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”
You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.
It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own. 
“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.
“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.
“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”
“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.
“No, I actually didn’t.”
“You let me go.”
He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.
“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”
“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips. 
“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”
“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”
“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”
“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”
“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”
“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.
“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”
“Thank you for stopping him.”
“Don’t.”
“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”
“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”
“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”
“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”
“He’s going to get out on bail and-”
“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”
You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.
“You’re still scared.”
“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”
“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”
“What?” 
“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”
“Or maybe he just hates me.”
“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”
“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”
“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”
“You would kill him?”
“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”
“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”
“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”
“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby. 
“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”
“He died?”
“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”
“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”
“Yes mam.”
“What...happens now?” you asked.
“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”
“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.” 
The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.
“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”
“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”
“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”
“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”
“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”
“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”
“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”
“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.
“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”
“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”
“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.
“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug. 
“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back. 
“Of course.”
“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”
“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”
“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”
He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side. 
“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.
“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”
“You’re tense still, honey.”
“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”
“You didn’t hurt me.”
“But-”
“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”
“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”
“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”
“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”
“Y/N.”
“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place. 
“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”
“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”
“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Now you’re angry.”
“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”
“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”
“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”
“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.
“No of course not.”
“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”
“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face. 
“Do you think I’m weak?”
“No,” you said, keeping your head low.
“Then why-”
“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”
“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”
“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”
“Why?”
“I said stop!”
“Tell me.”
“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you. 
“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”
“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”
“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”
“I put the kids-”
“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”
“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.
“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”
You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.
“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”
“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.
“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”
“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”
“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”
“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”
Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding. 
“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.
“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”
“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.
“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.
“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.
“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”
You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more. 
“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”
You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on. 
“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”
“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”
Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.
“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.
“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away. 
“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray. 
“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.
“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”
“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.
“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”
“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly. 
“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”
“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.
“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I’m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.
“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”
“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.
“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”
He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.
“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”
“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”
He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.
“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.
“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”
“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”
“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”
“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”
“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.
“You should have adopted her.”
“She didn’t want me to.”
“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”
“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”
“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”
“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”
“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”
“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”
Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.
“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”
Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.
“Say it.”
“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.
“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”
“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”
“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.
“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed. 
“Get some rest you two,” he said. 
“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”
“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”
“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”
“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”
“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”
“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”
“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.
“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet. 
“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”
“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”
“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”
“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”
“Tell me what hurts,” he said.
“My hand,” she said. 
“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”
“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”
“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you. 
“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.
“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”
“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”
“No promises.”
________
A/N: Read Part 17 here!
401 notes · View notes