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#but It might be similar enough and don't want to risk It
circusislife · 1 year
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What follows is the telling if a dream I had last night about a flood. ( Feel free to ignore this thingaming).
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I lived in a Little village, nestled between mountains, surrounded by green forests, wild fields and clear streams of water.
Life was peaceful. Children playing in the park, bykers zooming about, friends hanging out and doing nothing but happily existing together.
I remember waking up in my room to the Sun entering the window and striking my eyes.
I Remember waking up from a dream.
A very vivid dream.
A Dream of destruction.
Water was everywhere, dragging homes and people alike in its flow, as if they were nothing but leaves and dust.
I remember looking at the destruction from the safety of distance, Miles away, tears in my eyes making It hard to see the Valley that used to be my birth place, alone and Lost, with no One besides me.
Nothing of my life left.
For the rest of the day, I cannot rid myself of the memory.
I jump at every sound and cannot stop thinking about the ancient tales of prophetic Dreams. Of the oracles, of Delfi, of Cassandra...
My sister notices my distress, so She takes me aside asks what's wrong.
I tell her of the dream. Of huge waves crashing down on the town. Of tempest like winds blowing strong enough to force people to hold onto something least they be swept away. Of lives drifting like leaves on a stream.
*** I try and play It off as having read too much or watched one documentay too many. Joke about how It would fit One of the stories I love. A dream about an impending calamity, only it's actually a warning and the people don't listen and the main character Is the only survivor because ✨ plot armor✨ but they are left alone in the world so what even Is the point of living then- ***
She stops me.
worry Is clear in my sister's eyes. Brows furrowed. Teeths biting lips.
She isn't laughing.
There Is not an ounce of humor in her disposition. Nor even the vaguest shadow of disbelief.
Almost as if She believed my Nightmare induced anxiety to be something more than paranoy.
I tell her that it's stupid. We are hundreds of miles away from the Sea and there are no dams in our valley.
The Nightmare Is too much like what happened at the Vajont dam; I was probably Just thinking about that old documentary about the tragedy before falling asleep. Nothing to worry about!
My words do nothing to calm her distress, but She does seem to drop the subject for the day.
I don't tell about the dream to anyone else.
Not my parents.
Not my neigbours.
Not my teachers.
Not my friends.
Not.
A single.
Soul.
The day moves on.
I manage to chase most of my fears out of my mind, but I start packing an emergency bag with all my savings, some clothes, my favorite knitting needles, a few of the family pictures, great-grandmother's old scarf (It still smells like mom, despite having been put in the closet ever since my mother started using the one I'd made her).
I also restock the emergency bags we keep in case of earthquakes. They'd never been used, but I Just feel the need to add a new pair of shoes, some proteins bars, slip in a few water bottles because why not?, stash in there the shock blanckets dad keeps giving my sister and I like an overgrown cat bringing random gifts to the humans It has adopted.
I don't question it.
I Just do it. And revell in the slight felief my doom's day preparations bring me.
The horror of the Nightmare Is nothing more than a slight unrest in the back of my mind by the time dinner comes about.
It Is then that my sister makes a suggestion to our parents.
Why not have a small trip?
Mom's Always about visiting this medieval castle, or that Museum about ancient civilisations. And dad's Always been a fan of nature and hiking.
We could invite kit and kins and have a fun time with all our friends!
I find myself both relieved and astonished at how easily my parents agree.
They immediately start contacting everyone, and soon about four families we're Friends with have joined the plan.
We're leaving friday afternon. Right After schools lets out so the younger children don't miss anything.
We'll bring our cars for the luggage, but Will be sleeping in the camper vans a few of the families own.
I don't ask questions.
In the days before the departure I try to convince more of my friends to join.
Some do. Others do not.
Come friday I load the earthquakes bags and the one I had packed in a panick the day of the Nightmare alongside the regular luggage for the trip.
My sister sees me.
She doesn't Say anything thought.
She Just looks at me.
Then she silently adds an extra bag of her own and goes back to chattig with the rest of the young part of out troup.
We leave.
I can feel a sense of dread rising inside me, but I cannot find any reason for it, so I Just try to ignore it.
I focus on the strings I'm weaving to pass the time.
I don't know yet what I'm doing.
Maybe another slingshot?
A belt?
A tiny purse?
A headband?
Maybe I'm Just trying out a new tecnique and am going to make and unmake the knots multiple times.
whatever I might be making thought, I have pulled at the stringa too hard.
I have to start again.
some time into the car ride we make a pitstop.
We are far away already, but can still see hour hometown a few mountains over.
The sight Is breathtaking.
There they are, our tiny homes. No bigger than an ant from this far away.
They seat peacefully in between forest and fields, creeks and paths.
Nestled between mountains like a cat surrounded by pillows.
Our homes.
Then something changes.
At first it's barely noticable, but the more we look, the easier It Is to see.
It's a wave.
Dark with dirt and murky from the rush.
It's going straight for the village.
The wave.
Just like in my Nightmare.
It's not as enormous as I had seen.
It couldn't be taller than the highest of the forest's trees. Nothing compared to the Mountain swallowing monstrosity I remembered.
But It was there.
Everyone Is frozen. We cannot look away.
We stare in shock as water sweeps over all that was our Daily life.
The parks where children play.
The tracks for cycling.
The favorite places for friends to hang out.
Every.
Single.
Thing.
Nothing Is spared.
***I can feel the panick rising.
It was Just like the Nightmare. I've Lost Everything. There Is nothing left in this world of what was my life. Just water and mud and death and-***
My sister comes at me from behind and puts a hand on my shoulder.
I turn around and hug her and cling go her gor dear life.
I am crying as I mutter barely understandable "thank you"s in her ear.
I Remember thinking that She had saved us all.
Saved me.
I might have Lost much, but while in the Nightmare I was alone in the world, in reality I still had some friends, some mementos, my family, my parents, my sister.
And despite the tragedy all I could feel was the purest of relief.
Soon after, I come back to the real world, with an odd dream and not knowing if what I feel Is elation or grief for a Place that never was.
I wondered if this dream would Just fade and disaplear like hundreds before It.
I decided I shouldn't allow it.
So here It is, the dream I had tonight. There are a few tweaks here and there to fill in blanks and have It make a bit more sense, but this Is it.
if you've actually reached the end, then I commend your ability to read through my random rant and Wish for you to have someone to trust with your darkest fears with the knowledge of being taken seriously and certainty that the secret Will be kept.
<3
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Bolinus brandaris [S. R]
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
word count: 1.6k
and by public demand, part. 2
summary: Reid loves the gift you just gave him and the whole team can notice.
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"Everyone ready to go back?" Gideon asked, taking a quick look at the jet to make sure all of you were there. You had an extortion case quite far from home, Miami to be exact, and you had a long flight back to Quantico, so the last thing he wanted was to forget someone.
Miami was a beautiful place that you would have liked to visit in other circumstances, that had nothing to do with crimes at all, since you had always felt a certain weakness for the warm climate, the sticky breeze, and the sound of the waves that were on the beach.
You had only had the chance to go to a mall to buy a new outfit, because yours had been completely ruined, while Morgan took advantage of the wait to buy an ice cream popsicle. It hadn't been a dream ride, but it was something at least.
“I feel like I could sleep for 90 hours straight,” you sighed, closing your eyes and falling into Spencer's side as usual. You two were the youngest, he was younger than you of course, so it was easier to connect with him than the other members of the team. You seemed to have similar interests and he was strangely comfortable with you.
“You would actually need to wake up periodically to expel fluids or you would risk bursting your bladder or even your bowels, because even though your digestive system shuts down when you sleep it only does so for a certain number of hours. Maybe you could sleep for 14 or 17 hours, which is what a baby sleeps, but 90 seems excessive to me even if you do not consume drinks or food before doing so”
"It's an expression, Reid" you laughed, but without the intention of making him feel bad for having answered you that way. Sometimes it was necessary to explain to him that you weren't being serious, as obvious as this seemed.
"You can sleep through the whole trip" he argued and although you still had your eyes closed you assumed that he had shrugged "I'll wake you up if you start snoring"
"I don't snore!" you defended yourself, playfully smacking him on the arm and hearing him laugh. Somehow watching him led you to remember a chain of events ending in the package you had carefully stowed in your bag and you almost jumped out of your seat the next second: "Wait, I just remembered something" you reported and went to the baggage area to rummage through your suitcase, taking just a few minutes to be back in your seat “I bought you this”
"Me?" he asked in disbelief. The others were on their own business enough to notice your conversation, making the moment a bit more private.
“I looked at it and just thought of you. Although I don't know if you're going to like it” you said shyly, handing him something wrapped in a paper bag with a store sticker on it. You had found the gift when you went shopping for your clean outfit and a part of you had been anxious all day to be able to give it to him to watch his reaction.
Reid looked at it curiously and handled it carefully, as if he were afraid it would fall apart in his fingers, until he managed to open it and took a piece of cloth from it.
"A scarf?"
“I saw you in one the other day and I thought you might like them. You know, you always wear your vests under your coats and your ties and you're always overdressed, but in a cute way” you laughed, while you pointed your hands at your body pretending to touch the pieces of his outfit "But it's okay if you don't want to wear it"
"No! I mean yes. I want to use it” he reassured you. Spencer held it out to look at it more carefully: it was purple, a stripe in the middle of patterned colored rhombuses intertwined with some embroidery of branches with leaves in black. "Did you know that the color purple is related to royalty because of how difficult it was to obtain the pigment before the Christian era? It is obvious that artificial dyes didn’t exist at that time, so everything they dyed the fabrics with had to be obtained from nature and that particular tone was quite difficult to obtain because it came from Bolinus brandaris, an extremely rare species of sea snail. To obtain 1 gram of this substance it is necessary to have 10,000 snails. And that gram was barely enough to dye a small piece. Its value and the difficulty in mass-producing it is due to the fact that the substance obtained had to be left to dry in the sun for a very precise time to be used later. Half a kilo of wool dyed in that color cost what would now be equivalent to around 300,000 euros,” he said, still holding the scarf as he rambled on. "It is also related to liturgical attire, it symbolizes power, wisdom, and is the perfect combination between the energy of red and the calm of blue”
“Oh yeah, I… I knew all that before I bought it, I didn't choose it just because I think purple brings out your eyes” you blatantly lied, making your friend laugh tenderly.
“What I meant to say is that I like it” he added, a little embarrassed by the smile and attention with which you had been observing him. You always did that when he wandered off, leaving him helpless and not knowing how to react.
"You said it has to do with wisdom, right?" you exclaimed and he nodded gently "Do you think there's some weird psychological reason why my brain knew that and linked it to you or was it just a coincidence?"
"Well, it's hard to explain..." he began to say, turning a little in his seat to be closer to you and begin a long explanation about the connections that our brain creates with things and people.
You were completely exhausted but you didn't have the heart to stop him from saying anything he had to say and you listened intently as much as your body would allow, until eventually you were lulled to sleep by the sound of Spencer's soft voice. When he stopped hearing your hums he realized that you had already fallen asleep and he moved your body carefully until you were completely reclining on the chair, so that when you woke up the physical pain of sleeping on the plane would be less. He, for his part, stayed in the seat next to you sheltered your rest, and at some point ended up asleep too.
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The day after she came back from Miami, Spencer was already wearing the scarf you gave him. He had matched it with a brown coat, a vest in a darker shade of purple than the scarf, and a white shirt that together made him look perfect. Also, his well-brushed straight hair fell to the side and his tanned skin looked particularly clean.
You didn’t need to tell him anything because the smile you gave him when you looked him up and down was reason enough for him to be flattered and also proud to receive your approval. All day you watched him, a bit for the garment and a bit for the very pleasure of admiring him, and you noticed that he frequently checked that everything about him looked good, as if he was trying to impress you. Every time he spoke he avoided looking at you, only at you, but you couldn't take your eyes off him.
The day after that he used it too and the next day and the next, to the point where it was strange to see him go anywhere without it, as if it had become a part of him. After a week, while they waited in the boardroom, Elle finally had the courage to face the situation and ask Spencer why the particular choice for something for everyday use.
"It's that his girlfriend gave it to him" answered Morgan, before the brunette could say anything.
"What? No! Y/N is not my girlfriend” he said, completely embarrassed and making sure with his eyes that you weren't around to hear that.
"Oh, now I understand" JJ joined the conversation.
"You understand what?"
“You are always taking care that it doesn’t get dirty or stained”
"Yes, I don't like my clothes to get ruined"
"But more so if it's something his girlfriend gave him" insisted Morgan and in a fit that no one expected Spencer took a ball of paper and threw it at his face. That just got a collective laugh.
"I just like it. That's all”
"We all know you like her, Reid," added Hotch, who had kept quiet thus far and didn't even look up from the files. He flushed red to the ears as the rest of the team shared another laugh, and just seconds later you and Gideon walked through the door.
"Good morning"
"Good morning" answered the others, like school children before the arrival of a teacher. There was one seat left next to Morgan that Gideon took and that forced you into the only remaining chair between Elle and Spencer.
“Did I miss something interesting?” you murmured, leaning into him and smiling close to his face.
"No" he replied kindly, feeling your gaze drop from his eyes.
"Your scarf," you said, reaching out your hands to move it a little around his neck "It was out of place"
Everyone else, except for Gideon, shared knowing glances and stifled giggles as they watched the nervous way he thanked you. It didn't help too much that for the entire meeting you were completely distracted looking at your partner next to you, making the whole team wonder when the two of you were finally going to end up kissing.
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atinystraynstay · 2 months
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Off Limits - Jeong Yunho
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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Synopsis: Going to college for you was very serious. Nothing could stand in the way which meant often rejecting social events and saying no to anything to risk. That was until you met Yunho, someone you would risk it all for.
Pairing: College!Jeong Yunho x fem. reader
Genre: mutual pining, strangers to friends with benefits - MINORS DNI
Contains: mentions of celibacy, mentions of alcohol consumption, nudity, oral (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), dirty talk, slight begging, protected intercourse, characters losing their virginity, orgasm
Note: based on a request from @jonghoslvt ☆ no joke, I adore you and never thought you'd take up my offer. I really hope this doesn't disappoint because I literally fell in love with the idea the moment you hit my inbox
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Word Count: 7.8k
"But y/n, it's not even a frat party," your best friend whined. "Yeah! We're too old for that anyways," your other friend chimed in.
You currently found yourself in a standoff. At first, you had situated yourself in your bed with your textbooks to have a quiet night in. Your friends, however, took it upon themselves to propose an alternative idea. One that you often rejected.
"Are you forgetting that we have midterms next week? I would like to start spring break stress-free."
Your entire life has been focused on going to college. If asked about your childhood, you would always recall how happy you were growing up. But you never overlooked the sacrifices your parents made for you. Going to college was never realistic or them, so they worked overtime I order to provide you with the opportunity to live a better life than they ever got a chance for. Their struggles were something you can never ignore, which made you want to work hard to make them proud.
And since getting to college, it was about doing well to be able to show them why their hard work was worth it. You also had a personal goal of being able to afford to repay them for everything.
To get to that point, that meant often saying no to social obligations so you could study. Your weekends often looked like you were crammed in the library. Or, if you needed human interaction, propping yourself at a coffee shop to mix in with the crowd.
Breaks were the opportunities to let loose and have a little bit of fun. Yet, your breaks often looked like doing work for internships. Now that senior year has arrived, you are also adding in time to scroll through LinkedIn and Indeed for potential job openings
"Y/n, I adore you, and what a little studious bookworm you are. However, it is senior year. We have less than 3 months to make stupid decisions before adult obligations. There is also the chance we might not be living even in the same state or country! Do you really want to live life only when we come to visit or you visit someone else?"
You never went to a frat party. You never had a random hookup. You always played things safe.
You couldn't help but let out a sigh as you gazed down at your lap where your textbook rested. She had a point. While you were very excited about being that true adult version of you, you weren't ready for the hard parts of it like no longer living with your best friends or really having little interaction.
"And I'll tell you what. We don't have to stay all night. If you get overwhelmed or are over it, we will come straight home and watch Love Is Blind."
You perked up at her compromise. When you looked up, hopeful eyes were staring back at you before you silently nodded. That was enough to send them into squeals and start to drag yourself out of bed.
What were you getting yourself into?
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Little did you know, across campus, a similar debate was going on.
"Guys, I really don't like house parties like that," Yunho huffed. "And how do you know if you've ever been?" Mingi challenged him.
Yunho couldn't help but narrow his eyes on his best friend. He had a point, but damn, did he hate it when he was right. Out of the two them, Mingi was the more social one. Before a party was finalized, Mingi was already receiving texts about the details so word could spread like wildfire.
On the other hand, Yunho often opted for quiet nights in. He would spend nights either gaming with Seonghwa or drinking at home with a few friends. What was the point in going to a house party when they already had beer in their apartment?
There was also a part that loved hearing Mingi's retelling of what went down. Yunho simply didn't like parties, the situations that could arise from consuming too much alcohol, and the morning recovery.
"You owe me!" "For what?!"' "I mean," Mingi began. "I am your best friend. I'm sure you owe me something!"
Yunho rolled his eyes but couldn't fight the smirk curling onto his lips. It amused him greatly the antics Mingi always tried getting into, and how he basically became a whimpering puppy for attention.
"What will you do for me if I go?" Yunho challenged. "I will literally never ask you to come out again if you absolutely hate it. Or I will do all the chores in the house for the next month."
That caught Yunho's attention instantly. He liked to consider himself a very clean man, never knowing who might step into their humble abode. However, Yunho still liked to maintain a welcoming household and seemed like he had things together. First impressions mattered the most to him. And it was no secret Mingi often dirtied up any clean space, no matter how recently Yunho finished cleaning.
"Wait? Are you being serious?"
With Mingi cleaning, that meant that Yunho could just spend time the way he wanted to - playing video games and chilling with his friends. Yunho definitely was a person who liked being around people, but he didn't like situations that could get messy quickly. Hence why there was a slight aversion to going to parties where things could go 0 to 100 too quickly.
At home, Yunho was in control. He was the mood maker who kept a warm, welcoming environment. That meant one that was clean and safe for everyone. An oasis from the chaos of university.
"I'm dead serious, Yunho." "Deal!"
Little to Yunho know just how overwhelming the atmosphere would be. Even though Yunho certainly liked making memories with his friends, he was almost intimidated. All around him were drinks being passed left and right, not even knowing what was in the drink but it made his noise scrunch up as all he could smell was cheap perfume and alcohol. It practically burned his nostrils.
"Relax, Yunho," Wooyoung laughed. "You are about to give away that you've never had pussy before."
Yunho's head snapped towards his younger friend, a look of shock on his face. "Do you ever not think with your dick?"
"Will you ever sleep with someone? Come on. You're in college. Make a bad decision." "I'm fine with sticking to this one," Yunho sighed.
It wasn't that Yunho didn't want to have sex. However, he knew just how special being intimate with someone is. What mattered to him was waiting for the person he felt like he could be that vulnerable with. Just finding a random person and doing it sounds disgusting. Not how he wanted his first time go.
Nobody has caught his attention yet.
"Oh ease up, Yunho. Woo just is looking out for you," Mingi laughed. "But if you do find someone, bedrooms are open upstairs.
I think I'm going to be sick.
"Well, to be the bearer of good news," Jongho called out. "It seems like Yunho has a pair of eyes on him."
What was he talking about?
Slowly, Yunho looked over his shoulder whereas his friends seemed to wipe their heads around. Way to be subtle. There was this pattern that always occurred where girls seemed to have taken an interest in Yunho, but he never reciprocated. He was just content with the way things were in his life - no drama, no mess.
His eyes widened slightly at the sight behind him. There's no way.
Yunho has seen you around campus before. The two of you have never had a class together, seeing as your respective programs were in two different buildings. Yet, there were always ways you two crossed paths. You were heavily involved on campus or often in the library studying. Yunho did frequent the library, but if there was no immediate open spot available, he would leave. He always thought you were cute, but the opportunity never presented itself where he could make a move.
He didn't quite think that asking someone, a complete stranger, out on a date in the library when they were obviously busy was romantic.
To be honest, he never saw you as a party girl. You were often studying out of your mountain of textbooks or typing like your life depended on it on your laptop. He adored that side of you. When your hair was pulled back and your glasses framed your face, highlighting your big eyes.
Tonight, you opted for a different look. You ditched your sweats for a short black skirt that had a small slit on the right side. You wore a white shirt but that was mostly hidden underneath the leather jacket you wore. Your hair was downing loose curls. Your makeup also looked like it was light, but he was drawn to your cherry red lipstick.
I wonder if it also tastes like cherries.
Yet, tonight, you seemed like you had no agenda. Your eyes did glance in his direction, followed by whispers and giggles from your friends. To say his interest was peaked is an understatement.
You were someone who caught his attention. And his friends seemed to notice.
"Hey y/n," Mingi called out.
Yunho's head immediately turned towards Mingi who wore a smirk on his face. He wouldn't.
But it was too late. Mingi was already halfway across the room to greet you and your friends. And Yunho was hot on his trails.
"See you finally are breaking out of the library to join the rest of us," he commented.
You rolled your eyes before greeting him with a hug. Of course, Mingi knew you. He knew everyone. How did you two meet though? You weren't an ex-girlfriend or else you would have been over to the dorms. And you had a face that was impossible to forget. Maybe Mingi got tutoring from you?
"Don't hold your breath, Mingi. I was offered an out if I want to take it," you warned.
Your voice was just as angelic as Yunho imagined it. You often studied alone, unless you were shoved into a group project by your professors. Hearing how you speak made his heart flutter.
"Well maybe I can offer a reason to stay?"
You tilted your head in confusion. Mingi nodded over his shoulder which caused you to instinctively look over.
Everything else froze the moment your eyes met. It was like a scene from a romantic movie where the lights highlight the dream girl, music fades out. Nothing else matters at the moment besides you.
"Y/n, I want you to meet my best friend, Jeong Yunho. Yunho, be nice. This is y/n."
I was brought back to reality by Mingi gently patting me on the shoulder and giving me a slight shove. Luckily, I was quick on my feet to prevent myself from stumbling into this girl and making a fool out of myself. The wouldn't be a great first impression.
By your body language, Yunho could tell that you were out of your element. But so was he. Your eyes bounced around as you noticed your friends and his had left the two of you alone.
"Why don't we head out of here? Maybe go to the kitchen? Away from the crowds?"
Your eyes instantly lit up at his offered. The sight of you feeling relieved made Yunho felt proud, but also served as a motivating factor to ensure you always felt that content especially around him.
With a hand on your lower back, Yunho escorted you two out of the main part of the house. His eyes flickered all around to see where there were less people. However, people were playing drinking games in the kitchen. He glanced down at the cup in your hand to see you still had something to drink. The stairs, on the other hand, were vacant.
"Come on, let's go upstairs. I've been wanting to get to know you, y/n," he confessed.
Instantly, you felt your cheeks heat up. You nodded before following Yunho's lead. Your friend groups watched almost in astonishment at how quickly things progressed. Mingi was the proudest, as he played cupid after all.
As the two of you descended up the stairs, you could hear the bass of the music from below but could not quite make out the words. The loud conversations faded out to where you could just hear the footsteps of you and Yunho. You swore though you could feel your racing, and you were nervous Yunho could hear it too.
He flashed you a warm smile as he began trying the doorknob on the first door he saw.
"Occupied!" Someone shouted from within. The two of you felt yourself get hot in the face.
Quickly, he maneuvered the two of you to the bedroom across the hallway. Luckily, the door was slightly cracked and lights were off. An indicator that it was unoccupied. And to confirm, Yunho stepped in first by gently pushing the door. He let out a sigh of relief as there was no one.
"Perfect. Now I can actually get to know you."
He wanted to know me? The girl who is always studying?
He stepped out of the doorway, his back against the bedroom door to allow you inside. You thanked him with a soft smile before stepping into the room. You did notice he closed the door but also left it unlocked. It honestly made you feel a bit safer just by his gentle gaze and consideration.
Whenever you've seen Yunho walking around campus, you've always taken note of his soft aura. Maybe that's why it was so easy to lean into the potential friendship with him.
You found yourself walking into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. Your hands flattened out the skirt so it covered a bit more of your legs. Yunho joined you, keeping a bit of space but nothing too much. Just enough so you could speak one another but be respectful and mindful of your own personal space.
"I'm surprised to see you here tonight," Yunho commented, a smile still on his lips. "You just never seemed to be the party girl." "You know me already," you laughed. "I'm honestly not but my friends want to make lasting memories before graduation," you explained.
Yunho couldn't help but chuckle which caused you to raise an eyebrow. He quickly cleared his throat, a light hue coating his cheeks.
"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I promise. It just seems that our friends are in the same mindset since that's why I got dragged out of the apartment tonight." "I guess it isn't so bad now that I'm here with you."
You swore that Yunho's cheeks got darker. You also noticed how his smile widened to the point his eyes became hidden. He was just too adorable.
"So mystery girl knows who I am," he chuckled again.
God, his laugh was so infectious. I could just sit hear and listen to it all day.
"And I'm surprised my campus crush knows even who I am." "Oh? I'm your campus crush?" He smirked.
Now it was your turn to blush a bit. Damn, caught red-handed.
"Well yeah. I've seen you all over with Mingi or when you are trying to study in the library. Guess you could say I've always been curious."
Yunho's ego soared. He didn't come here to get lucky, but he was. He felt as if he had one the lottery.
"There's something else I've been curious about," he admitted.
Your upper body had turned towards him. The moonlight shining from the window made your eyes sparkle. It was as if you had the whole universe in your eyes. Your head was tilted slightly, a habit Yunho was quickly learning about you and equally adored.
One hand remained at a respectful spot in the space between the two of you. Yet, his right hand reached across to cup your cheek. His thumb caressed your cheek affectionately as your eyes widened slightly. Yet, your body felt relaxed underneath his touch.
He never wanted to take things too far, but a little kiss never hurts, right?
"Is it okay if I kiss you, y/n?" He whispered.
Your name coming from his lips sent butterflies in your stomach. "Yes," you whispered back.
He offered another gentle smile before he leaned in to press his lips against yours. His lips felt soft and gentle as he didn't want to pressure you to kiss him back. But you would be a mad person if you didn't. You matched his tempo, allowing him to lead the kiss.
Tiny electric shocks were sent throughout your body. You couldn't help but allow your arms to wrap around his neck, which gave him the green light to move his hand off the bed to your knee. His warm hand caressed your exposed skin.
"I like the feeling of your hands on me," you murmured against his lips.
Fuck, Yunho, you're in trouble. Your statement made his brain all fuzzy. Yet, he didn't want to get too ahead of himself. He was almost positive you meant innocence in your statement.
His hand moved from your knee to your hip where he lifted you with ease. You gasped softly, pulling back from the kiss. You never expected him to be so strong! Your mouth was slightly open as you were positioned on his lap.
"Fuck, I'm sorry," Yunho said. "Did I move too fast?"
You turned towards him and shock your head. Your heartbeat was felt throughout your whole body. If it was anyone else, you might have gone running out the door by how overwhelmingly intense the moment felt. With Yunho? All you wanted was to stay.
"No, this is perfect," you confessed. Your one hand stayed wrapped around his neck, your fingers running through your hair. "Is this okay? I mean, I've never done anything like this before. I don't just kiss cute boys who I barely now."
Yunho couldn't help but smile softly at your sentiment. You were too sweet. "Well, maybe we can become more than strangers?" His hand caressed your side affectionately, easing any nerves left in your body.
"I'd like that," you whispered.
You were about to go in to kiss Yunho again when the bedroom door busted open. You gasped as Yunho gently moved you off, shielding your body. The people who busted in just gasped before quickly closing the door behind them, muttering apologizes.
Way to kill the mood.
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That was three weeks ago. Yunho and you kept in good contact, especially now that Mingi prided himself in bringing two of his favorite people together. Even though you and Yunho were as far from being a couple as anything else. If anything, you two were beginning to deepen your friendship.
Yunho now had a reliable person to study, with who would keep him accountable for actually getting work done. And you had someone who made life fell less lonely.
And it was a bonus that each study session ended with a makeout session at your apartment. It was almost a ritual between the two of you. At the end of the night, Yunho would make sure you had eaten before walking him. You would then offer to come in for some water or coffee, depending on what else he had going on in the evening. Which were ultimately excuses to go to your bedroom.
Never before had you felt so safe with someone. Yunho looked after you, which honestly blew you away considering how new the friendship was. Yet, for Yunho, taking care of you was a duty. Even if you weren't official, he always wanted to make sure you knew someone was looking out for you.
That was as evident as ever when you two were behind closed doors. Light kisses led to light touches. His hands often wondered to your lower back, maybe underneath your shirt to cup your bra-covered breasts. Your hands would fall on his chest, sometimes down his abs towards where his belt was. Kisses on your lips led to neck kisses then to hickies which your roommates teased you relentlessly about.
Nothing more though. You had told Yunho that you were always anxious when it came to sex. You didn't want to jeopardize everything you worked for. And Yunho always respected that, especially since he was waiting for the right person. He didn't want to regret something so meaningful. And you respected that too.
Yet, you couldn't ignore your own urges anymore. There was something powerful between the two of you. You just weren't sure how to tell Yunho how you were feeling without scaring him off.
The past three weeks have been the time of your life. He made you feel warm and fuzzy, as if you were the main character in a Nicholas Spark's novel. And Yunho felt like he was on Cloud 9 with you. He never wanted to lose that feeling.
Buzz buzz
You were currently in the kitchen of your college apartment, slicing up an apple and peanut butter. A favorite study time snack of yours. Your eyes warned over to see Yunho's name flash on your phone which instantly brought a smile on your face.
"Oh! Y/n must be talking to Yunho," your roommate teased.
You rolled your eyes but couldn't fight the smile growing on your lips. Yeah, you were down bad for him.
"Hey pretty girl, what are you up to today?" "Not studying! I got everything done." "So you have time for me?"
Your smile grew wider at his text. You literally felt your heart flutter.
"Maybe.. is it worth it though?" "Oh darling, don't you worry. I'm going to make sure you feel on top of the world." "Where are we going?" "My place? 7pm?"
You glanced at the time at the top left corner of your phone. 5:41pm. Not much time to get ready.
"Anything I should bring over?" "Just yourself. It is all I need."
Lord have mercy.
Your snack was long forgotten as you ran up the stairs. The excitement about seeing Yunho, being alone with him drove you in ways academic achievement and goals accomplished never could.
You wear wearing a loose sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. Nothing too suggestive but also easy to remove. You never wanted to go in assuming any situation, but you couldn't help but be hopeful. Your roommates also noticed your change of perspective since Yunho came into your life. They liked seeing this side of you - the side where you were allowing yourself to enjoy life rather than focus on work and outcomes.
"Make sure you say hi to Yunho for us," your one roommate teased as you rushed to grab your wallet and keys. "Should we expect you tonight or tomorrow afternoon?"
Your cheeks were a bit red, not from embarrassment. There was not one ounce that was ashamed to be so scandalous with Yunho. Maybe it was because it was your little secret, the part of your that you were allowing to flourish for the first time, that was being exposed. While you weren't sure if you and Yunho would be anything more than friends, you were safe to say you were no longer strangers.
"I'll just text you guys when I'm heading home," you laughed, trying to ease your own nerves. Yet, you felt all the butterflies in your stomach which mad you jittery.
"Oh, no need. We have your location, y/n." "Creeps," you huffed. "Or just care about your well-being! But we also know Yunho will take care of that part."
I need to get out of here. Glancing at the clock, you saw it was 6:47pm. Yunho was just a 5 minute walk away from your apartment, so you were in no rush but any excuse to get to Yunho quickly.
"Hey, I'm heading over now :)" you texted him. "Can't wait to be with you."
You waved goodbye to your roommates who sounded off in encouraging cheers. You shook your head playfully before walking out the door to Yunho's apartment. With each step, your heartbeat is faster and louder. He had you wrapped around his finger and you didn't even know how to tell him.
"Hi pretty girl," Yunho said, answering the door. His height always left you breathless. You knew you were down bad when his height is something you adore. He was dressed in a grey sweatshirt with a yellow smiley face in the middle and black sweatpants.
Gently, he stepped out of the way to allow you to enter. You smiled appreciatively before walking in and slipped off your shoes. Mingi was in the kitchen, wiping down the countertop after dinner assumedly.
"Hey y/n. I'm about to head out!" He exchanged a look with Yunho, but you were too hyper-focused on Yunho's hand on your lower back. You could basically turn into Jell-o. "I'll see you around," he snickered.
"Bye Mingi," Yunho muttered. His demeanor softened when he turned towards you though, offering that gentle smile that makes you want to do anything he says. "Wanna go up to my room?"
You nodded before taking the lead. You've been all too familiar with the staircase that led up to Yunho's bedroom. Each time you walked in front of him, Yunho struggled. He surely had the best view in the world but wanted to do his absolute best to remain respectful.
Once you arrived in his room, you were a bit taken back. This wasn't the usual setup. You were much accustomed to the floor lamp being on, his laptop ready for a movie.
Tonight, the no lights were on. Instead, he had lit a few candles that were new additions to the top of his dresser. It created a glow in the room that was warm and welcoming. It also had a smell of vanilla and cashmere, two of your favorite scents. He was a good listener. Soft, sensual music was playing in the background from the speaker by his desk.
You stepped into the room but didn't go to the bed this time. You turned towards him, keeping a bit of distance but yearning to be close to him.
"What's all this for, Yunho?"
He loved the way his name sounded from your lips. It sent shivers down his spine. He smiled gently before taking a step closer, closing the door behind him. Once again, he didn't lock it right away. Yunho was the exception in a world of boys where he was a gentleman. He always offered you an out, always a way to leave if you so choose. Yunho never placed expectations on you. He followed your lead.
"Y/n," he began. One of his hands gently reached out for yours, fingers gently wrapping around your own but not quite holding it just yet. It was endearing. "You mean so much to me. I mean, I've always been mesmerized by you, but I never knew someone could have such a large impact until you came into my life. I've never wanted to open up to someone the way I open up to you."
Your eyes widened slightly, stepping even a bit closer to Yunho. Your mind was jumping to conclusions but you did everything to stay calm.
"There is just something special between us, angel," he whispered. His hand fully slipped into yours as the other gently moved to hold your hip, keeping you close. His touch was gentle yet firm, almost as if he was begging you to say but also allowing you to move if you desired. "You complete me in ways I never imagined. Both emotionally and mentally, and our physical connection is something I'd like to explore more."
Oh my god.
"I understand if maybe that's something you never wanted with me but-" "But just kiss me. Please."
His eyes now widened this time. You were biting your lip gently as you gazed up at him with your big doe eyes.
Come on, Yunho. Get it together.
No longer hesitating, he leaned in fully to press his lips against yours. His hand squeezed your hip affectionately. Unlike the other times he's kissed you, this was more passion. He had a certain level of assertiveness that made you melt. Your hands moved from holding his to resting on his chest and the other on his arm.
With ease, Yunho picked you up which caused you squeal. He pulled back from the kiss to look up at you. You noticed this time his gaze was a bit more seductive which made you feel all tingly.
"Oh darling, I'll get you squealing for another reason soon enough," he promised you.
Your legs wrapped around his waist. You knew he'd never let you fall, so your action was more to lure him in closer. His hands moved to hold your ass, giving a playful squeeze which indeed sent your squealing again. Even though the sensations were newer to you, it felt so good when it was Yunho touching you.
Gently, Yunho tossed you on his bed. Your sweatshirt moved a bit to expose your midriff. Your hair was sprawled out on his comforter. And with the glow from the candles, Yunho swore you looked angelic.
"You can say no at anytime, darling," he promised you. His voice was in a soft tone but firm. This was serious for him which made your heart swell.
"I trust you. This is new for me too, but I want to experience it with you."
At first, he remained standing at the foot of his bed. Just enough so he could slip his own sweatshirt over his head. You couldn't help but stare at his exposed chest. He was built so beautifully.
Yunho noticed which caused him to smirk. Not wanting to be apart from you any longer, his hands gently then moved to your exposed skin. "What do you crave first, darling? I want to make sure you're all wet for me."
His words caused your cheeks to warm up tremendously. Your brain was all fuzzy just coming to realize this was actually happening. You were about to have sex with Yunho, your campus crush. This felt just too good yet nothing extraordinary has happened yet.
"Could you eat me out? I've always wanted to know what it feels like," you confessed. "Your wish is my command, princess."
His hands moved from your hips to the waistband of your leggings. He glanced up at you once more to make sure you were comfortable and okay with proceeding. You couldn't help but giggle before running your hand through his hair comfortingly, giving him the nod he needed.
"So gorgeous, y/n, baby," he murmured. His lips kissed the exposed skin of your tummy before both of his hands began to move your legging dow your legs. "You look amazing in these leggings, but I'm so honored to be the one to take them off of you." His eyes then noticed the pink lace panties that you were wearing underneath. A tiny bow was in the front which made his mouth water.
You shivered as his hands gently began to tug off your panties. It was a bit chilly in the room for which Yunho smiled apologetically.
"I'll warm you up in no time, darling." "I have no doubt, baby. I know you always look out for me." "Always," Yunho vowed.
With your leggings and panties on the floor, Yunho crotched in front of you. His hands rested on your knees gently, thumbs caressing the outer part. He was a bit surprised how you opened them almost automatically for him, but he was overjoyed to know you wanted this just as much as him.
His cock twitched at the sight of how wet you already were, a slight glisten already noticeable. "My baby girl needs me, hmm?"
"I like when you speak to me like that," you confessed, letting out a shaky breath.
Yunho moved your one leg over his shoulder as the other rested on your thigh. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable. "What? You like knowing that I want you all to myself? That I want to be selfish?"
You were propped up on your elbows, gazing down at him. Your teeth were sunk into your lower lip in anticipation. All you could bring yourself was to nod in confirmation.
"Well, y/n, sweet girl. You are mine. You've been mine since the party, so don't doubt it again."
His tongue then licked a long strip along your pussy up to your clit. You let out a loud gasp, head tilting back. His hot breath hit your pussy causing you to shiver and spread your legs a bit wider, offering yourself completely to him. He hummed in satisfaction before letting the tip of his tongue circle your clit.
Your back arched slightly off his comforter. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let yourself immerse fully into the pleasure.
He loved the taste of you. So sweet. His tongue ventured up and down your pussy before sticking into your tight hole. You let out a soft moan. It was music to his ears, knowing that he was capable of making you feel so good.
His cock was hardening by the sounds you were making. Twitching and began for attention. Soon though, he would get the relief he's always fantasized about.
You were his main priority though. He wanted this to be just as special, as meaningful for you as it was for him.
He pulled back which made your head snap down. Yunho couldn't help the small pout that formed on your lips. "Don't worry, darlin'. I'm not going anywhere." His lips began to press kisses into your thighs as his one hand left your knee to gently trace along your pussy.
"Is it okay if I finger you, angel? Just want to make sure you're stretched out for me. Don't want to hurt you."
His speech was a bit slurred, almost as if he was drunk off the taste of you.
"Please. I want to feel all of you, want to feel of this for the first time with you."
Yunho leaned down to kiss your thighs. He moved his kisses towards your clit. He could imagine the feeling might be a bit uncomfortable for you at first, so he wanted to help ease you a bit.
When his lips met your clit, he kissed it delicately before wrapping his lips around it. He began sucking on it which had you moaning sweetly. He couldn't help but smile before sliding one finger into you. His eyes looked up at you to see your mouth slightly open. Yet, your body remained relaxed on his bed.
He moved his finger in and out of your pussy slowly. He let out a groan at the feeling of how warm, how wet you were. You just felt so inviting it sent him into a frenzy. He craved more that he was struggling to hold himself back but he knew all good things come with time. His cock was straining against his pants painfully.
"I'm going to add another, sweetheart, okay?" He murmured against you. The vibration of his voice against your pussy caused you to whimper out in euphoria as you still nodded your head.
"Can I hold your hand, baby?" you begged softly.
Instantly, his free hand left your thigh to rest against the comforter for you to hold. He didn't need to be told twice. Whether it was for reassurance or to feel close to him, he would do anything for you.
Slowly, he slipped another finger into you. This time, at the feeling of how full you were, your body tensed a bit. Yet, Yunho kept his fingers still inside of you. He didn't want to rush in as he kept his gaze on you. Feeling your fingers slip into his hand, he squeezed your hand reassuringly. And this time, you squeezed back. "Keep going. Please."
His fingers moved slowly. He couldn't help but stifle the moan from his lips as he wanted to suck on your clit a bit harder, to make sure you were still feeling good. When you started moaning again, he began to curl his fingers gently into your g-spot. That made you moan louder than before, an encouragement for Yunho to proceed.
He then began to spread his two fingers apart, stretching you out properly. Your eyes widened, your breathing becoming shaky and shallow.
"Speak to me, baby girl. How does this feel?" "S-so good, baby." "Tell me what you need." "You. Please." "How do you want me? You've already got me. Right here, angel." "I want you to fuck me."
His fingers stilled inside of you as he pulled back from your clit. He looked up at you as he knew there was no going back. He knew he wanted to continue, but he just wanted to make sure you weren't too caught up in the moment. He didn't want you regret such a vulnerable moment with him.
"Are you positive?" He asked in a gentle voice. "I've never been more sure of anything."
Slowly, his fingers slipped out of your pussy. You whimpered at the lose of contact but quickly moaned when you saw his fingers enter his mouth. He sucked on them gently, humming against his digits. You've never witnessed something so attractive before. Your cheeks were flushed at the sight too.
"So delicious, angel. Thank you for letting me have a taste."
Now standing fully at the end of his bed, his hands moved to undo his belt and unzip his pants. Your eyes widened when you saw the tent in his pants. You couldn't believe he got so turned on by tasting and touching you.
Seeing the effect you had over him made you feel powerful.
Noticing you were staring, he winked at you. "You are the only one with this effect over me. Only one I ever want." His belt clinked against the floor as his pants soon joined, exposing his grey boxers. He was so hot. Does he even know that? You were going to move up to offer to jerk him off or suck him but he stopped you before your upper body could even leave his bed.
Did you do something wrong? You frowned a bit as your eyes quickly landed on his. Was he regretting going this far with you?
"Tonight is all about you, sweetheart." "But I want to make this special for you too," you frowned. "You just being here is enough to make this special. I promise."
You were a bit hesitant, wanting to be insistent on making him feel good. But with the look in his eyes the lustful gaze, you knew it was not a topic up for debate. You settled back onto his comforter as he moved to grab a condom from his bedside table.
He was a man prepared for any scenario. Whether it be one of his friends needing a condom or when a moment like this finally presented itself.
His boxers soon joined the floor. His cock instantly slapped against his abs. You noticed the veins running around the sides and the angry red tip, begging for attention. You made a mental note that you just had to suck Jeong Yunho off.
He grabbed the gold wrapper to tear it open. His right hand grabbed the base of his cock to hold it still as his left hand skillfully slipped the latex on. It just made his cock glisten, make it more appealing.
Finally, Yunho joined you on the bed. His knees rested in between your legs to keep you spread for him. His one hand rested by your head as the other cupped your cheek. You felt his forehead press against yours but not once did he look away from you.
"I mean it when I say we can stop at any point, angel. Just say the word." "Yunho, you're too sweet to me but I need you."
You needed him. God, his eyes nearly rolled at the words you spoke.
He pressed his lips to yours for a moment. Even the room felt hot and heavy, he wanted to remind you just how important you were to him. You kissed him back for a moment until you felt his tip against your pussy. He kept his gaze on you, wanting to make sure you were okay with what happened.
"You ready?" "Yeah," you breathed out.
As slow as ever, Yunho pushed his tip into you. You bit you lip as you kept your eyes trained on him. It felt familiar, just like when his fingers entered you. You nodded slowly before he began to push more of himself into your pussy. His head nearly rolling back at the feeling of how warm and tight you were around him. "Fuck," he breathed out.
The sound of you letting out another whimper caused him to snap back to reality. He frowned when he noticed the tears in your eyes.
"Oh angel," he whispered. He didn't dare move another inch. This wasn't about his pleasure, this was about you. "What's wrong?" "It's just a lot," you confessed. Salty tears began to leave your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. "Do you want me to stop?" "No, no," you begged. "I just need a moment."
Yunho nodded understandingly. He began to press soft kisses along your cheeks, your nose - anything to distract you from the pressure and temporary pain. He wanted to kiss you fully but he noticed you were breathing in deeply, trying to collect yourself and he didn't want to be inconsiderate.
"Take your time," he whispered. His hand moved to wipe your tears. "I go when you say go. I stop when you say stop." You took in another deep breath, really being able to feel how deep he was as your puss instinctively gripped his cock. He bit his lip to not moan, not wanting to do something that pressured you to say go.
However, in the few seconds of regulating your breathing, the pain began to feel like pleasure. It felt good. It was an odd feeling for sure, but one you wanted to continue with.
"Yunho?" you called out gently.
He pulled back so he could look into your eyes. His lips were curled up into that signature soft smile.
"Keep going. Please."
His eyes were trained on yours, almost as if he was looking for any hesitation. Yet, when he didn't see any, he nodded his head gently.
Before continuing to slip himself into you, he offered his hand for you to hold again. He really was a gentleman. Your fingers instantly slipped into his and you gave him a reassuring squeeze. That's all Yunho needed to continue slipping into your pussy.
Your breathing hitched again, but you remembered to breathe through it. And while it was a bit uncomfortable, it wasn't as bad as when you two started. You moaned when he eventually filled you completely.
"You okay, darling?"
He kept still but you could feel all of him inside of you. You felt so close, so vulnerable with him. It was overwhelming in the best sense.
"Never been better," you breathed out.
Satisfied, he began to retreat his hips before thrusting into you. Your head rolled back against his pillows and he rolled his head back at the feeling. "God damn," he breathed out. "You feel so good, angel. All for me."
His thrusts were slow at first, at an even pace. He was treating you as if you were the most delicate thing in the world, something that needed to be fiercely looked after. And while you might have enjoyed the sentiment, you just needed him.
"Baby, go faster, please." "Fuck, are you sure? If you say yes, I might not be able to hold myself back anymore." "Let loose, baby boy." That's all he needed to hear. His hand planted firmly on the space by your head, his other hand still holding yours. However, his thrusts became quicker, became deeper. It was as if something primal took over him.
Your moans were louder as you felt all of him entirely with each threat. He was so big, so thick. He filled you up just so heavenly, in ways you couldn't describe besides perfection.
"That's it," you whined out. "Right there, baby." "God, I could die a happy man this way."
You couldn't help but giggle as you moved your free hand to rest on his shoulder. Your fingernails dug slightly into his skin which seemed to send him pounding deeper into you.
The sound of wet skin slapping made him nearly delirious. He never imagined this would be happening especially not with you. Yunho truly won the jackpot. He watched as your eyes rolled back, your cheeks a light pink color. Your lips were slightly parted as you moaned without any control.
"You're so gorgeous, y/n."
Your walls began to tighten around him, a fire-like feeling taking over your stomach. His jaw was clenched, almost as if he was concentrating. You were a bit curious but began to notice the veins protruding out of his forearms from how hard he was thrusting.
You began to put the dots together.
"Are you close, baby?" "So fucking close," he huffed out. "Are you?"
His eyes were practically glued on you. All to make sure you felt on top of the world. He loved knowing that you two were sharing this experience together. The grip you had on his shoulder further encouraged him to give you everything he had.
No room to hesitate or overthink. "Yeah," you whimpered.
Sweat was beginning to coat his skin. You early drooled at the sight of how delicious he looked. How did you get so lucky?
"Let go, y/n, baby. I'm right there with you."
With one particularly hard thrust, you lost it. You felt like you were being sent into another dimension but the intensity of your orgasm. Nothing could have prepared you for the feeling as you truly believed you saw stars. Your legs shook slightly as Yunho groaned loudly, spurting his hot cum into the condom.
The heavy breathing from the two of you filled the room. The world outside of his bedroom seemed so far away as you felt so consumed by Jeong Yunho. You wouldn't want it any other way.
His cock started to soften inside of you but you two couldn’t bring yourselves to move. Your arms moved to wrap around him softly as he laid gently on you, keeping you close.
There was no other place you wanted to be. I guess sometimes you do need to take a risk and do something that might seem like it is off-limits.
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tfmybody · 5 months
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Merging
My boyfriend has a unique skill. You see, he is able to combine his body with someone elses, merge with them to create a new man. He never likes to do it for long though. If he stays merged for too long he runs the risk that people might notice that he, or whoever he's merged with, is missing. That's why after a year of dating he reveled his ability to me. The feeling of merging was like an orgasm he told me, and he didn't want to give it up. But he also didn't want to go around merging with random people and have me worrying he's disappeared and come looking for him. So we struck a deal, he would always let me know if he was going to merge with someone. It turned out though that we enjoyed merging with each other so much that he only rarely merges with anyone else.
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This is what we look like usually, when we are ourselves. When we started dating we were much smaller. But my boyfriend had been merging with personal trainers so he'd have access to their knowledge and would be my personal trainer. He had done that for a couple years until we had packed on enough muscles to our liking. I admit, we are pretty hot and as a dual income household with no kids, we really did have a pretty sweet life. But that didn't stop us from mixing things up. See when we merge my Colombian body with his English one, we end up becoming an equally hot Mexican-American guy.
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We spend a lot of time in our merged body, who we named Alberto. Whenever we go on vacation the first thing we do is merge and spend the whole time as Alberto. It saves money on hotels and travel, not that we needed to, but it also meant that we could go out and party and bring whoever we wanted home with us and not worry about the hassle of a threesome. We also spent a lot of our time at home as Alberto. We'd come home from work and merge together, watching in the mirror as our two muscular bodies slowly shrink into each other. As our faces morph together growing Alberto's stylish moustache, and our dicks combine to create Alberto's larger appendage. We would dress ourselves in clothes we grab from the wardrobe we have especially for Alberto's clothing since he is smaller than our actual bodies. The evenings are easier merged, it's easier to cook food for one, we don't have to compete for space on the sofa, and we don't have to debate what movie to watch as our minds are merged and we pick what Alberto would watch. Sometimes we even forget to unmerge before we go to sleep, which makes for a confusing morning as we try to do our two separate morning routines in a single body.
We'd had this routine for several years now, and as fun as it was. My boyfriend did miss the wider array of bodies he could be in when he merged with other people. And I was also curious what it would be like to merge with someone else too. That's where Zach came in.
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My boyfriend and I had met him at our local gym. We had a similar gym schedule so we'd often run into Zach during our evening workouts. We'd built a polite friendship over the past months and even gone out for some drinks before. He would tell us about his dating life and we'd give him advice about which ever guy he was pursuing at the time. We'd never fooled around before or anything but that was about to change. Zach had never met Alberto before, but my boyfriend and I knew enough about Zach to make sure we could score a date with him and take him home as Alberto.
So one note we merged and headed to the gym as Alberto. Zach was clearly waiting for my boyfriend and I to show up, probably eager to talk about some dating woes. But when we struck up a conversation with him as Alberto we knew all the right things to say. Zach opened up to us, unaware of who he was talking to, over the course of our workout that evening and once we were done and headed to the changing rooms I (I guess my boyfriend and I) knew Zach was eager to get some action in the showers. We found him in a shower stall in the corner naked and already hard and quickly dropped the towel from around our waist and began making out with him. Zach was so distracted by making out and rubbing his hands over our body that he didn't notice as our chests began to sink into each other. His hand no longer just running over the top of my skin but moving around inside my body. Within a few minutes you couldn't tell that two people were hooking up in the shower but rather a disfigured lump of flesh. Our new combined body began to take on a human form again. The torso began to expand, less defined than either Zach's or Alberto's but still covered in muscles with a layer of fat over the top. Large biceps became adorned with tattoos and our new body grew taller than either Alberto or Zach had been before. A thick mane of graying hair grew from our head as thick stubble grew from our jaw. Alberto's moustache appeared on our upper lip and our face aged as wrinkles appeared. In our mind Zach's personality and memories began to mix with Alberto's to create a new persona, a mature man who enjoyed the finer things in life but also one who came home with a different guy each weekend.
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Our new body finished up in the shower and headed back to the changing rooms to grab a pair of gray sweatpants that belonged to my boyfriend from Alberto's locker. That evening the three of us enjoyed some of the most intense sex with Zach's roommate. The next morning we headed back to my boyfriend's and my apartment to decide if it was time to unmerge. But standing in the mirror examining ourselves, our new personality decided he wanted to enjoy this life a little longer. He knew eventually he'd have to let Zach, my boyfriend and I backout again. But he knew that my boyfriend and I had unlocked a new desire in our relationship to bring a third into our merges more, and that Zach would want to be involved regularly.
If you ever see the three of us merged somewhere, come say hello. We'd love to add you to our body as well and see what we become.
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seresinhangmanjake · 5 months
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The One I Want: Part 8
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader
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Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.
Notes/Warnings: traumatic past, trust issues, cursing, very likely typos
Words: 1951
The One I Want Masterlist
You don't remember how you got to the couch. You don’t remember whose idea it was, or who guided who, or who first fell onto the cushions and pulled the other with them. Jake’s lips have kept you from retaining that information, not that it is of much importance, anyway. It doesn’t change that you are where you are, your legs draped over Jake’s thighs, your fingers woven through the ends of his hair, with his hand latched onto your hip. Your lips have barely had a moment apart since you relieved his concern with your smile and he went back in for a second kiss. Bodies have requested a few decent breaths here and there, but nothing keeps you separated for long. 
His kiss is demanding, but not controlling. It’s a kiss unwanting to break, but willing to do so if that is what you need. And his touch follows a similar pattern. Jake is not shy when his hand ventures past your hip, but he’s still cautious. The warmth of his palm sliding over your ass and pulling you closer is gently done, and when he travels up to your flannel sleep shirt and fingers dip under the fabric, he stops just after two knuckles are hidden past the hem. Fingertips grazing your skin are enough to cause shivers of pleasure, but they are still careful not to cross a line. 
You’re not actually sure if a line is there for him to cross, yet somehow you both know the possibility exists that it is hiding in plain sight. It might be that his touch an inch or two closer to your breast could ignite a panic response. His fingers playing with the buttons that hold your shirt closed or the tie that keeps your shorts around your hips could have you jumping out of his hold. And with such unpredictability, you appreciate that Jake doesn’t take that risk because you don’t want to stop this. You want to stay as you are, connected as much as you can safely be connected.
Jake has stolen minutes, maybe hours, from your morning—although, you suppose it can’t be considered stealing if you’re freely giving them to him and intentionally surrendering to the way he's making you feel. Any grasp on time disappeared long ago, but you couldn’t possibly be more content. In Jake’s arms, you have chosen to loosen your connection to the space around you and he has led you to a place where nothing else, especially not your past, matters. 
And you like it here, in this place. Every available reality suspends. Here, you are not damaged. You are not imperfect. A man like Jake wants you. You believe you’ll never have to leave this town because no one is going to say anything to you that will make it unbearable. Here, there’s the suggestion of a future. Here, you can feel your feet start to plant into the ground.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” he says. 
You stopped kissing some time ago and he’s taken to staring at you, scanning your features, touching your kiss-swollen lips with a proud smile on his face that says “This was my doing”. 
“I’ve thought so since I came through the front door and saw you standing right about…” he shifts on the couch to get the entrance of the apartment in clear view. With eyes squinting as if to find an exact measurement, his finger points to the spot where you stood the night you first met him. “Right about there.”
Your eyes briefly follow his finger. “I thought you were disappointed.”
“Oh no,” Jake chuckles with a light shake of his head. He looks down, almost as if embarrassed, and watches his hand run back and forth over your bare knee. “No, that certainly wasn’t the case. And Nat teased me for it immediately,” he says. 
Your brows shoot up. “Teased you?”
“Yeah,” is a long-drawn word. His lips curve into a smile and his eyes find yours again. “She knew I was gonna be a goner.”
When you try to conceal your blush by looking down at your fiddling hands, Jake’s grin widens. “Don’t hide,” he says, leaning over to tilt your chin back up with his thumb and index finger. “I like it.”
“You like what?”
From your cheekbone to your jaw, his knuckle draws a soft line over the pink shade of your cheek. “This.”
You would feel more self-conscious about the blush spreading to your ears and chest if not for the light rosy tint making its way onto his cheeks at the same moment. It’s a lovely shade that blends so well with his complexion and instantly confirms that what you saw at the bonfire was not a trick of the flame's glow. Your abdomen clenches with the sensation of velvety wings fluttering throughout your stomach, but the feeling disperses when a pang of something else hits deep in your chest. 
Jake is already so comfortable with his kissing and touching of you. Though he is thoughtful, he doesn’t hesitate or question what he’s doing. He holds on to you like he’s done it a thousand times before. Your bodies mold to this couch as if the position you are sitting in was imprinted into the cushions long ago. He somehow knows what you like; he knows how to kiss you like a man who has been studying you for years. It all comes so naturally—to you and him—that it teeters on the cusp of unreal, and is, therefore, slightly unsettling. 
Typically, you’re careful; more calculated in your interactions with people. You aim to avoid putting yourself in positions where you lose your sense of control, and yet, for Jake you let it all go. With Jake, you’re allowing the revival of parts of yourself that were slowly fading from lack of use, but it forces you to wonder if you’re capable of maintaining that freedom without him there to help you. You don’t want to clam up if he’s out of reach. You owe it to Jake to try to apply everything he’s given you so you can do right by him. If you hurt him from an inability to let yourself remain open, you expect you won’t find of self-forgiveness. 
You don’t realize you’re staring off into space, your eyes on an out-of-focus plant in the corner of the room, until Jake’s hand cups your face and his thumb begins to stroke your cheekbone. When you look up at him, the smile that at some point fell from his face returns and he leans into you. His fingers slide into your hair to guide your head closer to his. 
“Jake, this isn’t trouble, is it?” you whisper before his lips can meet yours. 
He pauses. Then with his brow scrunched in confusion, he pulls back. “What do you mean?”
“This.”
A palm returns to your cheek and that thumb restarts its back-and-forth motion. “You and me?” he asks, but his head shakes before you can answer. “No, we are not trouble.”
Your chuckle lacks full commitment. A twinge of doubt in your capabilities weaseled itself into your thoughts, and though Jake is rather effective at shaking it, you can feel remnants lingering in a place he might not be able to reach. “You’re so sure,” you mutter.
 “Yes,” he says in the limited space between you. “I’m sure.”
“How?”
When Jake sighs and shifts to rest his back against the couch, you know it is not from exasperation. If you could so easily irritate him, he would have given up on anything to do with you after twenty-four hours of you living in his space. Instead, it’s a sigh of contemplation. By the look on his face, your question is one he already has an answer to for himself. His extended thought is for your sake; an extra minute taken to piece together the most encouraging explanation that will help you understand why he’s so confident.
Your hand is encased in his and he squeezes. His stare matches yours. Intense. Unwavering. “Because,” he starts, “I more than thought you were beautiful when I first saw you. I wanted you, and I have wanted you every day since—you and me, just like this, right here. But I wasn’t going to do anything unless you felt like you could trust me,” he says. “And you said you do now, right? You trust me?”
You nod. Then he nods.
“We’ve lived together for months, and I’ve been deep in it, beautiful. Nothing you can do or say will make me think anything other than what I think of you now. So you’re not trouble for me,” he says, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. “And I swear I won’t be trouble for you. If you trust me, trust that.”
Your eyes sting and your nose fills with familiar pressure. There’s something in the ease with which Jake soothes your worries that is sickeningly overwhelming. Your method of relieving pain is, as it has always been, to flee, and after spending so many years doing so, you refused to entertain any other option. But this is Jake, and Jake is different. He doesn’t do the fleeing thing. He does the “I want what I want so I will figure out how to get it” thing. And what he has wanted is your trust, which he obtained by becoming exactly what you didn’t know you needed. 
Not wanting to fall into a mess in front of him for the second time in one day, you move your legs off of Jake’s thighs despite his noise of protest and scoot your body next to his to regain some of that control. 
“What are you–” he begins with a hint of worry in his voice, but you instantly silence him with the soft “hush” that leaves your lips as you throw your leg over his hips and find your balance atop his lap. Jake’s hands settle on your waist. They snake around your back and he tugs you to his chest. The awe that swirls in his eyes as he gazes up at you fills you with confidence, and you tuck a few loose strands of hair behind your ear before gripping his shoulders. 
“I’m going to kiss you,” you say. Jake blinks, gulps, and nods, both of you knowing that each kiss between you prior to this moment was initiated by him. “I’m going to kiss you, and after that, we’re going to stop focusing on me. We’re going to stop talking about me.”
“I like talking about you,” he says. One hand slowly runs down your clothed spine, over your ass, and along your outer thigh, then makes its way back up. “Can’t we do both?”
“No.” As you lessen the distance between your lips, Jake’s neck stretches up to connect the kiss, but you maintain just enough space to keep him from succeeding. “I tell you something, you tell me something, remember?” 
With his eyes glued to your mouth, Jake nods again.
Good, you think, because step one in your determination to remain open to him is being for him who he is for you—someone to trust. “It’s your turn to tell me why you don’t like to be alone.”
The heat of a hand finds the back of your neck. Fingers weave into your hair. “I’ll tell you anything you want.”
“What I want is to know you, too.”
Jake’s inhale expels as a soft sigh. His eyes pierce yours. “It’s heavy stuff, beautiful.”
“I can handle it,” you say. Then you lean in close so your lips can ghost over his. “Trust me.”
---
tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @rogersbarnesxx @nani-kenobi @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @eloquentdreamer @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @cehenyne @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @entertainmentgal8 @hookslove1592 @whoeverineedtobe @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06 @cherrycolas-things
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ccalxx · 5 months
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Dating Wriothesley Headcanons
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What is it like dating the duke of the Meropide Fortress?
Wriothesley is very sharp and observant, even the faintest difference in your actions, he will know if something is wrong. He may be busy but he won't waste any time in asking you what's wrong or he would be comforting you if you need comfort.
Given that he is the Duke of the Meropide Fortress, a similar title to the Iudex of the Court of Fontaine, do expect that he'd really be busy. But not busy enough to prevent him from visiting or contacting you.
If you're the type of person that would make him cute bento boxes hoping to embarrass him (prank), well think again, because he actually doesn't care! He might chuckle a second or so, but he really thinks that your bento boxes are cute and something (despite being consumable) to cherish. He appreciates the thought and designs you put into.
He likes eating meat because of protein, just how he likes eating yo-, so you mostly make meat dishes in your bento. Tonkatsu that looks like a shark? Cute! Teriyaki chicken that resembles a wolf? Looks good! Pasta with shark shaped sausages? Thats nice!
On the outward appearance, you'd think he's scary or someone who has anger issues but he's not. He's really soft, caring, and cheeky too!
Do expect that he'd melt into your touch once he gets home from work. He may also fall asleep on times you didn't expect him to.
"[Nameeeeee] I'm home!" Wrio said as he wrapped his hands behind you and kisses your cheeks. You both went and sat on the couch, Wrio still clinging to you, as you ask him about his day, you noticed he isn't responding. He fell asleep while clinging to you, looks like you're not gonna feel your arm later.
He may have prevented you in going to Fortress of Meropide many times.
"Y/N, No. You might be in danger." "But Wrioooo" "No.".
But that didn't stop you from going and having lunch/snacks/dinner (he sometimes stay in the office even at night to finish paperworks). Instead he taught you some self defense moves in case you needed. "Okay Y/N if someone grabs your arm what should you do?" "Break their neck?" "Ye- what no!"
He likes tea, but you know what he likes more? You brewing him tea. You somehow learned different brew mixes just for him and he appreciates, no, he loves it so much! Because he doesn't really have the time to mix tea with lemon or whatever, because he's busy.
He isn't really a fan of PDA since he respects your personal space but in certain occasions he will assert that he's your man.
For example, someone in the overworld was harassing with you while you were selecting meat for his next meal. "*Whistles* Looking good pretty/handsome, just like that piece of meat you're holding" You were contemplating to slap the slab of meat on his face but you suddenly felt familiar hands around your waist. "My, my, that's not how to talk to a lady/gentleman is it not? It looks like you need to learn some manners, don't you think so Madamoiselle/Monseiur?" He looks at you with a warm smile and he looks straight up to the eyes of the guy. "Scram if you don't want me to report you to Monseiur Neuvillette for harassment". "Why are you here sweetie?" "Please don't tease me but... I kind of missed you... So I was looking for you at home but you weren't there..." "Aw, Wrio!" He looks around then he buries his head on the crook of your neck.
When there are times that you needed comfort, he will try his best to be there (ex. documents finished early) . If not, as a promise or a substitute he will leave his fur coat draped on you. He'll make up to you by bringing you food though (or flowers/things if you don't like food as much).
If you feel sick, he'd take a leave to work, he'd care for you until you are healthy.
Wriothesley is really sweet and caring, despite of how sharp or scary he looks. He'd do everything to make you happy and comfortable, and it's not an exaggeration that he'd risk himself for you. He loves so much and he never felt so drunk in love before, but now he's drunk in love with you.
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thrumbolt · 6 months
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Top 5 most annoying Tamlin scene misinterpretations
1. ''There is no such thing as a high lady'' I hate this one, because it is always taken as some sort of proof that Tamlin is a raging misogynist who doesn't want an equal woman by his side or some similar type of nonsense. I don't know where this is coming from. Tamlin never wanted to be a high lord. He would probably welcome for someone to take over most of the work so he could just keep running through the woods. He also has absolutely no issues with taking advice from women in power (Ianthe? Hello??). His first reaction to the high lady question is literally this:
“Is everyone just going to call me ‘Tamlin’s wife’? Do I get a … title?” He lifted his head long enough to look at me. “Do you want a title?”
And let's not forget that Feyre's first reply is ''No, I don’t know if I can handle them calling me High Lady”. To which he then answers that she doesn't have to worry about that, since ''there is no such thing as a high lady'' because the magic choses the title and it keeps chosing males. Also this whole scene happens while he eats her out. Not that it's relevant or anything, just saying...
2. ''Tamlin killed Rhys' family'' No. Tamlin's dad killed Rhys' family. I have no idea how Tamlin doing it is ever the takeaway from that whole story. Let's just quote the actual scene:
“Tamlin’s father, brothers, and Tamlin himself set out into the Illyrian wilderness, having heard from Tamlin—from me—where my mother and sister would be, that I had plans to see them. I was supposed to be there. I wasn’t. And they slaughtered my mother and sister anyway.”
Yeah okay, Tamlin gave the information (supposedly) and was there (supposedly) sure, but it's highly unlikely that he was so willingly. Let's not forget that it's established that Tamlin was afraid of his father, that Tamlin's father is worse than Beron (who, I might remind you, tortures his sons) and that Tamlin was friends with Rhys at the time - which neither family approved of. Even Rhys doesn't actually believe Tamlin did anything besides being spineless:
''I didn’t care that Tamlin had been there, had allowed them to kill my mother and sister, that he’d come to kill me because he didn’t want to risk standing against them.''
In the end we don't know the details. Tamlin could've been tortured and tied up or whatever. Making him watch could've been a cruel form of punishment for being friends with Rhys. We don't really know until SJM graces us with Tamlin's side of the story.
3. ''It's really Tamlin's own fault that the spring court fell'' Alternatively also phrased as: 'Feyre just opened everyone's eyes to Tamlin's incompetence' and....honestly? This low key makes me question the reading comprehension of people.
Yes, Tamlin made a deal with Hybern, which was extremely risky, but the war was coming regardless (as we learn from Rhys in the first half of ACOMAF) and the spring court would be the main target because of its location next to the wall. Inviting Hybern into his lands in a trade is actually a pretty smart way to avoid a lot of death on Tamlin's part - plus he needed help to rescue Feyre and get her out of the deal she had with Rhysand (people forget that Tamlin didn't know Feyre didn't actually need rescuing from the guy that was abusing her in front of him in ACOTAR).
So yeah anyway, Feyre did several things to make the spring court fall: 1. She manipulated the solstice ceremony to make herself seem cauldron-blessed in the eyes of the people, 2. She made a sentry accuse Ianthe (who WAS doing sneaky shit) which essentially did nothing except putting Tamlin on the spot in front of Hybern, so he was kind of forced to throw the sentry under the bus. Good job Feyre, you got a poor sod whipped! But it also built resentment within the soldiers, which was her plan all along and 3. before leaving, she did this (let's just quote the whole thing):
''I had a people who had lost faith in their High Priestess. I had sentries who were beginning to rebel against their High Lord. And as a result of those things, I had Hybern royals doubting the strength of their allies here. I’d primed this court to fall. Not from outside forces—but its own internal warring. And I had to be clear of it before it happened. Before the last sliver of my plan fell into place. The party would return without me. And to maintain that illusion of strength, Tamlin and Ianthe would lie about it—where I’d gone. And perhaps a day or two after that, one of these sentries would reveal the news, a carefully sprung trap that I’d coiled into his mind like one of my snares. I’d fled for my life��after being nearly killed by the Hybern prince and princess. I’d planted images in his head of my brutalized body, the markings consistent with what Dagdan and Brannagh had already revealed to be their style. He’d describe them in detail—describe how he helped me get away before it was too late. How I ran for my life when Tamlin and Ianthe refused to intervene, to risk their alliance with Hybern. And when the sentry revealed the truth, no longer able to stomach keeping quiet when he saw how my sorry fate was concealed by Tamlin and Ianthe, just as Tamlin had sided with Ianthe the day he’d flogged that sentry …When he described what Hybern had done to me, their Cursebreaker, their newly anointed Cauldron-blessed, before I’d fled for my life … There would be no further alliance. For there would be no sentry or denizen of this court who would stand with Tamlin or Ianthe after this. After me.''
So, the sentries left Tamlin because of a lie. A fake story. Without sentries, Hybern decided to take over rather than just be guests and had a prime spot to attack the summer court in turn. Which is also why Tarquin is extremely pissed at Feyre - not Tamlin. So no, Tamlin wasn't a bad high lord. His only real mistake was ever trusting Feyre.
Sure, some argue that Feyre thought Tamlin genuinely sided with Hybern and might be a threat to the rest of Prythian, so taking him down would make sense for her even outside of petty revenge. But there's just one problem with that: Feyre is a mind reader. She could have just.....checked. lol
4. ''Tamlin didn't do anything Under the Mountain'' This one really gets my goat because it's not really true? Things Tamlin did to help Feyre: 1. He sent her away to the human realm. (People forget this, but he basically doomed his court to protect her ass - it's not his fault she came back!) 2. He made Lucien check up on her. (Yes Lucien was Feyre's friend but he still acted under Tamlin's orders!) 3. He ignored Feyre as to not rile Amarantha up even more (Come on, have you seen Amarantha? It totally makes sense) 4. He tries to get to Feyre, begging Amarantha to stop even as he is tied up, bleeding out from a stab wound to his chest that he can't heal because he has no powers - like what do you want him to do??? 4. He literally kills Amarantha the second he is able to
Also personal conspiracy detour: That music that Rhysand supposedly sent to Feyre was SO originally supposed to be Tamlin, you can't convince me otherwise. I will never not believe that this wasn't just a lazily done quick change when SJM rewrote book 1 and 2 to account for the boyfriend switcheroo. Attributing the music to Rhys makes absolutely zero sense. He's not a musical boy at all, come on! Music themes never come up with him again either! Meanwhile Tamlin played for Feyre before, is generally a musical guy COME ON! /conspiracy detour over
5. ''It's Tamlin's fault that Nesta and Elaine got turned to fae'' No. No it's not. He knew nothing about this. Ianthe did this on her own accord because Feyre told her where her sister's lived. Tamlin actually attacks (!) the King of Hybern over it (to no avail, but still).
Some people blame Tamlin for keeping Ianthe around afterwards, despite of what she did. Those people I want to refer to point number 3 in this list. Ianthe was working with Hybern. Tamlin tried to be buddies with Hybern for reasons. No, he can't just throw out Ianthe.
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tarotbiscuits · 6 months
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𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔡: 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔰
(this is for my female audience interested in men)
˜”°•.˜”°• Who are they?
What do they have to say to you?
What are their intentions towards you? •°”˜.•°”
We'll see what their energy (and the cards) say
Try to meditate on the piles beforehand and choose the one which calls you the most. If you don't feel drawn to any of them, close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes. The pile you notice first is your pile!! If you feel drawn to two piles, i'd suggest choosing the one you're most drawn to, as the messages tend to be similar in nature.
𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 1 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 2
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𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 3 𝔭𝔦𝔩𝔢 4
PILE 1
Signs this might be for you:
444 is significant to you
you have a flowy red dress that you love wearing and it looks great on you (i see you turning around happily in that dress)
Who is your fs?
the hermit, temperance, page of cups rx, page of wands rx, five of swords, king of cups
Greetings, pile 1! For starters, i see that your fs is someone that you’ve already been in a romantic connection with. Your fs is someone who is more introverted or a loner at heart. He usually takes a lot of time for himself to balance his emotions out in his day-to-day life. He can be rather emotionally immature at times, not admitting his feelings for his love interests due to poor communication skills. I feel like he’s not the type to take risks. He wishes to be like everyone else, instead of standing out from the crowd. Your fs is a guy who doesn’t engage in conflicts much. Whenever he gets into conflict with someone, he tends to leave the situation to meditate upon it instead of lashing out. What I see coming for him is the fact that soon enough, he’ll be in his king of cups energy, because he took the time to get to know himself and seek answers to his problems. He’ll become an emotionally mature man, who can be honest about his feelings and support you emotionally when you need him.
His message for you
tower rx, four of cups, justice rx
“I’m sorry (i felt a lump in my throat right after that). Justice wasn’t done in our connection and it’s all my fault. I did you wrong big time and I don’t expect you to even forgive me, let alone take me back. I was a fool in the past when I denied your offer. I pursued other options over you (i don’t feel like this is a third party situation, just casual dating). Now I realized that having a lot of options won’t bring me emotional fulfillment and happiness if they’re not you. Our break-up was a traumatic experience for me and I did everything I could to numb my feelings and forget about you.”
His intentions towards you
death rx, ten of swords rx
Dear pile 1, I’m sorry to break it to you, but for now, your fs wants to heal from the connection. He feels like there are some demons from your past connection that still follow him and he wants to stop them from inflicting more pain on him. He wants to let go of the past and move on with his life. Considering he’s going to be your fs, the story isn’t probably over yet, i think?. Knight of cups rx is at the bottom of the deck, he feels like he can’t make a love offer rn. Under this there’s the queen of cups, omg he sees you as his soulmate. He deff still loves you, but is too heartbroken over the past. Give him time, pile 1. It’s just not the right time for the two of you to be together now.
Extra:
likes reading a lot
also likes ducks (and other feathered animals)
zodiac placements: virgo sun, water signs (cancer, scorpio, pisces) in big 6
PILE 2
Signs this might be for you:
33 is relevant to you
you have sneezed recently or you sneeze a lot
Who is your fs?
three of pentacles rx, three of wands, king of swords rx, seven of wands, ace of wands horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), eight of swords, the world (bottom of the deck)
Hello pile 2, hope you’re having a great day! Your fs is someone who’s independent – he prefers to work alone than in groups or in collaboration with another person. He’s likely an adventurous type who travels a lot for work, but also in his free time. When he travels for fun, he likes to explore the natural wonders of our planet: hiking in the woods, tasting the freshness of the water streams around him. On the downside, he can be rather arrogant with his words, feeling like he’s above others intellectually or that people aren’t as honest and truthful like him. He can get a lot of backlash because of this, which makes him feel like he needs to defend for himself most of the time. I see that your fs wants to pursue a new creative endeavor, likely stemming from one of his passions, but he’s afraid. He is advised to take a leap of faith and do it anyway. He won’t know what’s in store for him unless he tries.
You two will probably be in a long distance relationship for a while. He’ll deff open you up to new experiences, getting you out of your comfort zone. Since he’s well travelled, count on him when you two are booking a holiday destination – he tends to know the coolest spots for taking pictures :)
His message for you
sun horizontal, page of pentacles horizontal, three of swords rx, king of cups, four of cups, five of pentacles rx
“Hey baby, it’s okay. The sun isn’t shining today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t shine tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day. I know you’re afraid to take a new beginning, you’ve been hurt so bad by love and all I want to do is take away your pain. I promise you, I’ll take away your pain one day, okay? Just don’t close yourself off to new possibilities, heck even in love. Don’t wait for me. Live your life, explore other options. See what you like and what you don’t. Just remember, you’re never alone. There are people who will love you for who you truly are, your family loves you (i sense that you might have had a difficult upbringing, a dysfunctional family, especially an absent mother, but your fs doesn’t know that yet). I will. You’re never alone, remember that.”
His intentions towards you
the high priestess rx, wheel of fortune rx, the star, nine of pentacles
Pile 2, your fs is closing himself off from your connection in the higher realm for now. Like pile 1, he feels like now is not the right time for you two to be together – your connection is divinely guided by the Universe and his higher self is guiding him towards some hardships in his personal life to learn valuable lessons, which are needed for your connection. He’s hopeful that you exist and he knows that you will be reunited at some point, but for now, he’s happily single and he wants to focus on maintaining his independence.
Extra:
rice is very significant (either his origins are from Asia or he strongly loves/hates rice)
zodiac placements: strong sagittarius, especially sagittarius sun/venus, gemini sun (it might be aspected with pluto, i see mostly conjuncting pluto or squaring/opposing pluto), gemini mercury, leo in big 6 (mostly ascendant and mars)
PILE 3
Signs this might be for you:
you have blue eyes (sorry guys, i can’t get any more signs for this one; he’s also telling me that you’ve eaten something specific recently but i can’t see what; i'm hearing mozarella sticks? lmk if it resonates, i'm not sure on this one)
Who is your fs?
five of pentacles rx, the tower rx, the emperor rx, temperance, page of cups rx, eight of wands, the star (bottom of the deck)
Woahh, pile 3. When i was shuffling the cards for this question, a lot of them fell down. Your fs has a lot to tell you about himself!! I think he has been often told to shut up by others. That’s what made him keep to himself a lot, but with you, he wants to tell you everything. Hahaha, now he's got a much calmer energy. Pile 3, your fs is the type of person that has outbursts of anger and he lashes out everything, but after that he’s like a lamb lmao. I see that your fs has been through some deep, dark shit in his past, likely involving his parents. Either his parents divorced at some point and it affected him deeply or his father abandoned him at a very young age. This broke down his world at the time, but i see that he has healed from it. He wished he had a happy childhood, but he just wants peace now and he got it. I felt his energy for a moment where he kept saying “I just want the fights to be over already” and then he kept repeating “over” again and again in a very demanding tone. I’d say his unhappy childhood still haunts him at times (i got death rx on the bottom of the deck when i clarified the first 3 cards), but he does believe in true love. He’s someone who tends to keep his feelings in check and his life in moderation. He can act immature at times, but i feel like he does feel sorry for his actions and tries his best to become a better person.
His message for you
six of swords, nine of pentacles, the well rx (i'm using ethereal visions by matt hughes it's my only deck ;-;), knight of swords
“Be strong. You have walked away from so many storms, that you’ve become this beautiful butterfly on your own. And if you haven’t walked away from those toxic people – do it NOW. I’ve walked away from my parents and friends, was it easy? No, but I’m much better now. You gotta be who you truly are as a person, you’re so fricking valuable. You need to be upfront and direct with people. I’ll teach you if you can’t. Why have you blocked your creative juices? Was it because of pain? Don’t let past hurts hinder your light. You are this beautiful goddess that is above EVERYONE else (i can really feel this feminine energy coming from you). I’ll worship the ground you walk on. Just don’t let them win.”
Pile 3, i feel like some of you are healing from a break-up, but you are already almost fully healed. You’re glowing and your fs adores that.
His intentions towards you
six of cups rx, page of swords rx, king of wands rx, wheel of fortune horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards)
For some of you, i feel like you already know them. Your fs might have been a childhood friend, a neighbor or a classmate that you used to hang around with when you were kids, just doing fun stuff. I don’t think he was in your life for a long time, you probably lost contact for some reason. I also don’t think you two were romantically involved, but if you did, it was more of an innocent fling.
For others of you, this is someone completely new and the six of cups rx might just point out to his unhappy childhood. He’s been pondering on it lately and feels very sad, maybe even depressed.
Either way, I feel like he’s going to enter your life really soon, but it won’t be at the right time. He’s not someone that is guided by a higher force, his intuition is quite blocked and he tends to act on his impulsive feelings without thinking of the consequences too much.
If you already know him, he might tell you about some harsh truth. Either point out to something you do which isn’t right, so he’s gonna call you out on that or he’ll say something regarding the times when you hung out as kids, which didn’t sit right with him.
If you don’t know him, he’s probably going to show off to you in a very “look at me, I’m better than the other guys” kinda way.
Whether you already know him or you will in the near future, i do feel like he has romantic feelings for you and he feels like he has got a chance to be with you, but like i said, the universe is saying that right now is not the right time for your union. It’s very likely that he’s still in school/college and is very focused on it. He doesn’t know if he should choose to pursue you or his career rn. This last bunch of cards just flew so this has been heavily on his mind. I’d say don’t engage too much with him, this is only the beginning of your love story. It will solve itself out when the timing is right.
Extra:
bichons/havanese dogs might be significant to your or them
zodiac placements: heavy aries and leo energy (i wouldn’t be surprised if most of his birth chart is filled with fire placements), libra sun or an afflicted sun (with lots of squares and oppositions)  
PILE 4
Signs this might be for you:
you had a very hard time picking a pile (yeah, i literally didn’t know if i should make this pile or not)
your fav color is purple
Who is your fs?
three of swords horizontal (yes, i take horizontals as advice cards), the emperor horizontal, three of cups rx, nine of wands rx, knight of wands, six of wands
Pile 4!!! Spirit was telling me to do this reading asap because it’s urgent (and then i got a call lmao). Your fs is likely a very busy guy, getting calls all the time. Damn, I just saw him in a suit. He’s someone influential in his career for sure, probably works in business. Even the cards hardly came out, like he didn’t want to talk because he’s too busy atm. I see that for your fs, career is everything. He is used to declining invitations to social events and parties because he would rather spend his time and attention on making money. He’s very VERY successful in what he does, i see massive recognition here, because he seizes every opportunity to advance in his career and he goes for them!! Sadly, he wasn’t always like this. At times he felt like the competition was too much and that he won’t succed, but in the end he gave his all, despite his feelings. He is advised not to become too bossy with the people around him, even though i feel like he isn’t like that anyway. I also believe that his overfixation on his career comes from a past break-up that he hasn’t processed fully. He is advised to process it and move on, instead of trying to simply forget it by doing something else.
His message for you
The chariot rx, queen of cups, page of pentacles clarified by two of swords, eight of cups clarified by seven of cups, five of pentacles rx clarified by the hermit, five of swords rx clarified by the king of wands
This is more about his ex and what happened to him, I feel like he really needs to vent so be gentle with him pile 4
“I wasn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready for our relationship, but my feelings for her were so much, I just couldn’t hold them inside of me anymore. At that time I believed this was a new beginning for us, one that we would both (and i emphasize both) build for, something which would have lasted for a long time (i’m hearing everlasting). I felt like something was off from the beginning, but I thought it was only my imagination playing tricks. I wanted to take it slow because I wasn’t sure…oh boy, was I wrong. I had to leave when I found out that she was cheating on me this whole time. I poured my heart to her and she cheated…I don’t want to remember what happened after. It took me a long time to get over it, get over her (i’m hearing sleepless nights). I felt so alone and abandoned, I didn’t want to talk with anyone, I drank myself to sleep. But this experience made me into who I am today. I know I’m strong. I weathered storms no one would have imagined and I came out victorious. But I’m never leaving my heart to anyone else.
I don’t know if you exist…I’m feeling strong now, but what if it’s just a façade? Do you even exist? (death is on the bottom of the deck , under the death card is the queen of wands rx, he really doesn’t feel like you exist). I feel like the world is filled with harsh people, people that only want to benefit from others and I’m not letting others exploit me anymore.”
Pile 4, i honestly feel like he has so much love to give to others, even to you, but i’m not sure if he sees that. He will make a great partner, i can feel this already. Please show him that you will be there for him and that your feelings are genuine. He needs it.
His intentions towards you
four of pentacles, page of wands, ace of cups, seven of swords
Well, he’s deff focusing on his finances rn for sure. I see that there will be a passionate, new beginning in your connection. I don’t think you two have met, i feel like this is a fresh energy. I heard that you will have to make the first step tho. He will open up to you quite fast after that, but he will also feel a bit wary in the beginning. He doesn’t want the past to repeat itself. I see him trying to peek into your phone when you’re texting someone, just to make sure you’re not cheating on him or anything. He does have the tendency to become paranoid, which can get out of hand if not addressed. My advice to you is to have open communication at all cost. I see a lot of love between the two of you. Don’t let it go to waste.
Extra:
zodiac placements: capricorn in big 3, sun/ascendant conjunct saturn, strong sagittarius and leo in big 6, mars in aries or sagittarius, scorpio energy in big 6 or pluto is significant
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Text
Friends Who Share Mutual Emotions {part 3.} (housemate!harry series)
Arguments and Confessions {part 2.} (housemate!harry series)
AN: i've been in a writing mood lately so i hope you enjoy me spitting out these stories left and right lol. anyways, here is part 3 to my housemate series. before you ask, yes there will be a part 4 and hopefully a couple more after that. let me know how you liked it and make sure to leave your feedback. thank you and enjoy!
This story contains: mentions of one-night stands, confessions of feelings, slight angst, fluff
{ housemate!harry - friendrry - soft!harry - au harry }
word count- 1,372
Harry confesses that you're the women he likes and after giving you some time to think, you have an eventful conversation about your mutual feelings and how you'd like to move forward within your friendship.
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Looking deeply in your eyes, Harry answers clearly, "Her name..... her name is Y/n." The weight of his confession leaves you standing in the kitchen, completely shocked. When you initially asked him about his love interest, you never anticipated that he would reveal his feelings for you. Although he described some of your qualities, you didn't think much of it, as many people can possess similar traits.
Realizing that you need some time to process his words, Harry rises from his stool and states, "I don't expect you to feel the same way about me or anything. I'll give you some space to think, alright?" With that, he turns around and retreats back to his bedroom.
Now standing alone in the kitchen, you find yourself torn about what to do. On one hand, the man who kindly allowed you to stay in his home as a housemate, who eventually became your friend, and whom you've developed feelings for, has just confessed his affection for you. It seems like the ideal outcome, but what if something goes wrong? You would risk losing your best friend and a place to live.
On the other hand, if everything goes well, you could finally experience a fulfilling relationship. You could put an end to the casual encounters and truly understand the intimacy that others have experienced in Harry's bed. You would have the opportunity to feel his touch on your skin and savor his kisses, something you had only imagined during fleeting encounters with strangers.
---------------------------
You head to Harry's bedroom and upon reaching his door, you give it a hesitant knock. A soft voice responds with, "Come in." and you take that as your signal to enter. Inside, you find him sitting up in bed with his cat Pixie beside him, and the TV showing old episodes of Friends.
Approaching his bed slowly, Harry gestures for you to sit beside him. After a deep breath, you confess, "I want you to know that I have feelings for you too, Harry. How could I not? You're kind and sweet, and anyone would be foolish not to have a crush on you. But, I'm afraid."
Harry turns off the TV to focus on you. "Afraid of what, Y/n?" he asks, "We both like each other. What's there to fear?"
"It's not that simple, Harry," you respond with a hint of frustration. Why can't he see your concerns? Maybe it's a gender difference. Men don't worry about relationships as much as women do. Well at least from your personal experiences.
"Can you explain then, please? I want to understand your fears so we can move forward in a way that works for both of us."
Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, you express, "Harry, what if things don't work out between us? What happens then? I could lose a friend and I might not have enough money to cover regular rent in London."
"Y/n, our mutual feelings don't automatically require us to rush into a romantic relationship. We can proceed at a comfortable pace, one day at a time. Even if we don't progress beyond friendship, I value our bond too much to risk losin' it. As for your concern about losin' a place to stay, rest assure that I would never evict you if things don't work out romantically. You were my housemate first and foremost, and that won't change. Well, unless you want to move out someday that is."
Hearing his words have made your eyes gloss over. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and it makes your heart swell. But, you still need some clarification to move forward. "So like, where do we go from here, Harry? I don't want to think we're one thing but you assume we're something else. I don't want to constantly be questioning where we stand. What's too much or what's not enough."
Harry adjusts his posture, leaning closer to you. He carefully reaches out for your hands and clasps them within his larger grasp, holding them gently as he begins to speak. "As I mentioned earlier, Y/n, we can take this slow. Let our connection develop naturally. At this moment, I would describe our relationship as friends, but friends who share mutual emotions. And in response to a question I know you may have, no, I will not be sleepin' with anyone else. And I don't expect..."
Anticipating his next words, you swiftly interject, "No, neither am I. I mean, being involved with someone else intimately. I can promise you that. Besides, I never truly enjoyed having one-night stands. I only sought them out as a means to conceal my feelings for you. But now that my feelings are out in the open, there's no reason to hide them any longer. From now on I only want you."
Chuckling in relief, Harry murmurs, "Just me, huh?" He was incredibly anxious that you might still have the desire to sleep with other people, even though that didn't make much sense after you had confessed your feelings for him. However, he couldn't be entirely certain.
You lean forward, wrapping your arms around Harry's body, embracing him tightly. "Of course, Harry. I would never do that to you. Besides, most of the men I slept with were unsatisfactory, so I'm perfectly fine with giving up my one-night stands."
Harry reciprocates the embrace, then teasingly asks, "Unsatisfactory? Are you tellin' me those muscular, macho men you brought home hardly ever satisfied you?"
You respond, your voice filled with affection against his neck, "That's right. And when they did, it was usually because I was thinking of you."
"Alright, let's end that conversation right here or we'll have a problem on our hands and break our 'takin' it slow' rule." Harry remarks, trying to maintain a sense of caution. If you kept talking about how you always thought of him while having sex with all those strangers, he'd get hard in his pants and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable right now. Nor does he want to move that fast. Like he said, he genuinely would like to take whatever you are, slow.
You laugh at his words and playfully say, "Can we take a nap? I'm feeling tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."
Harry nods in the embrace you still hold and replies, "Yeah, we can take a nap if you'd like. I didn't get much sleep last night either."
As you sit up, you carefully shift towards Harry's side where he's preparing a space for you to rest. "Seriously?" you inquire. Although you noticed his exhaustion when he entered the kitchen earlier, you didn't consider that it might be due to a lack of sleep.
"Yeah," Harry begins to coo while helping you under his duvet, "felt awful with how I spoke to you last night. The guilt ate me alive and I couldn't sleep."
Now laying side by side, facing each other, you whisper out, "Awe, well you can rest easy now. I forgive you." As your eyes flutter shut, Harry can't help but think about how you're too far away from him. Even though you're literally just six inches apart in reality.
So without thinking, he draws himself closer to you and wraps you in his arms. Which in turn has you pressed up against his clothed chest. "Is this alright?" Harry whispers quietly. Although he wishes to take things slowly, cuddling is typically considered a leisurely activity, isn't it? It remains innocent and platonic.
"Yes, very much alright." you reply and soon after fall asleep. The musky smell Harry produces along with the warmth of his body lulls you right to sleep. It may be only nine in the morning but with your lack of sleep the night before, have no trouble falling unconscious.
Harry also falls into a deep slumber. The comfort of having you in his arms lulls him into a state of relaxation, leading him to quickly doze off. His cat Pixie has now settled at the foot of the bed, peacefully asleep alongside you both. Harry's once anxious room is now filled with tranquility. The unfolding of your friendship will become more apparent when you wake up later today.
(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)
(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )
tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @allthelovehes // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran
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______________
My Masterlist Masterpost
A Shift Occurs {part 4.} (housemate!harry series) (SMUT)
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cinnamonest · 2 months
Note
not too sure if you've already put thought into it, but which yanderes would be/wouldn't be willing to break bones? i feel like for most of them it's a hard yes but depending on the circumstances and their mental fragility.
also sadisim. (COUGHCOUGHCHILDECOUGHCOUGH)
ignore this ask if you've already answered/have a question similar to this (or just don't want to answer/! and if your reqs are closed and my tumblrs just tweaking that's okay too!!
I would say Albedo initially, but he's a practical man, if you're not going to be using the limbs anyway might as well just take them off, so… as for some others…
Kazuha does it for practicality, specifically your ankles. It's a useful risk prevention method.
He still feels bad, and he apologizes… but he doesn't hesitate much. After all, he did give you fair warning, but you ran off yet again. This is just to keep you safe, for your own well-being, and for his peace of mind.
He's sweet about it too. He puts your hand against his arm beforehand, and tells you here, you can squeeze down on my arm, okay? After all, it will help with the initial pain.
He's still sweet when you squirm away and whimper, even though the grip with which he pulls you back is harsh.
I know. But I can't let you be a danger to yourself…
He holds you gently for however long it takes you to stop crying. He'll get you water and food and painkillers/alcohol, tends to your every need, waits on you hand and (broken) foot. Notably, once the initial reaction has died down, he stops really acknowledging it in any meaningful way, talks to you as if everything is normal. Even when addressing your leg, he talks about it as if it were some injury you acquired by other means.
You might be spiteful enough to bring it up and remind him that it's his fault, but he's quick to correct you, keeping a soft voice and gentle smile all the while.
You did have every opportunity to choose otherwise, you know. Ah, but I know you're upset… it's okay if you blame me.
He'll be fully patient for you to heal, too. He’s very cheerful once it's fully healed, says he's glad you're better, helps you walk around a bit to get readjusted, keeping his hands firmly supporting you the entire time. Even for a while after it's healed enough to walk, he checks on it from time to time to ensure the final stages of mending are going well.
He tells you you're fully healed, with a soft voice and ever-pleasant smile, not without adding—
Let’s hope it stays that way.
----
Childe has to be in a more angry mood than usual to get to that point. Usually, his form of sadism is the sort that focuses on a sort of pleasure-pain, the sort he can get off to… but this is a bit different.
It's only because you keep being irritating. He's really tolerant, you know? He's been so lenient, he tells you, he's been so nice, he's been so good to you, and what do you do? You keep being mean. It's cute up to a certain point, but you're being like, really really mean.
It's actually kind of nice, on his end, to see your immediate reaction — you can tell just by the strained smile and clenched teeth as he speaks that you've crossed some sort of line. For once, you actually shrink back, clutch your hands up at your chest defensively, start to take some steps back… but you can't get away fast enough before you're drug forward by the hair or neck.
Come on… it's not that hard to be good, is it?
It's a last chance — he's nice enough to give you that, at least, even if you don't deserve it (which you don't, he thinks). Come on. You can be good, you can apologize and submit and he'll forget all the spiteful shit you've done today and then you can have a nice, happy rest of the day. You can do it. It should be easy. He takes one of your hands in his, holding it with a sort of sincere pleading gesture.
But, even though you should know better, you still remain spiteful through your fear, narrow your eyes and tell him no. You try to jerk your hand away, only to find his grip on it is iron-firm.
His smile twitches.
Aw. That's too bad.
And thus, you process the sound and sight before the pain — you see him take your hand and twist it, hear the snap, and only then does the pain shoot up through your wrist, through your arm and to every nerve in your body. It's bad enough that you fall to your knees, squealing, cradling the now-unnaturally-twisted limb.
Yes, he's very very nice, but admittedly, hearing you wail like that is rather pleasing, all things considered. More so when he grabs you by the jaw, jerks your head up to force you to look at him, and sees the tears in your eyes, the way your face contorts with pain.
Maybe you can be good now…?
This time, you squeeze your eyes shut, frantically nodding your head, a pitiful little sound coming out of your throat. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't very satisfying.
---
There's also a notable difference between willing to break bones and likelihood of breaking bones, actively willing or not.
Some non-humans are particularly unaware of their strength — Xiao fits this well. He genuinely doesn't like hurting you, although you would think so, based on how much he does, it's just that he forgets how fragile you are. For someone of his strength, your body might as well be made of glass.
So it just sort of happens… he grabs you by the arm or leg and pulls in the wrong direction a bit too hard, there's a stomach-churning snapping sound and suddenly you're shrieking and crying. It startles him quite a bit — he lets go and shrinks back, all wide-eyed and head darting from side to side as he looks around in confused panic.
But just as with fragility, he's also not very aware of the durability of the human body. He’s not great at gauging severity of injury — normally, he just attacks creatures until they stop moving, because that's his goal when it comes to his responsibilities.
So he has no real reference for how much damage he's done. Bones are all connected, yes? He probably broke something important, or made some internal organ come apart somehow, and it will kill you. The thought sends him into a full-fledged panic, he's bolting off and dragging help back as fast as physically possible, explaining that you have sustained mortal injury and are on the verge of death.
He's at least comforted to learn that that is in fact not the case, and you have merely broken your arm, which, the innkeeper confirms, is in fact not fatal. He's too relieved to notice the blatant frustration in her voice (this marks the fourth time he's insisted you are about to die over something actually far more trivial), and merely nods when she asks to please be more careful.
He doesn't really know how to handle the matter from there. He feels guilty about it. You're obviously in pain, and it's his fault. He'll sit next to you, hunched over and staring with those big yellow eyes as if trying to make you heal faster with sheer willpower. Makes sure you don't get up and move around (despite your insistence that your legs are just fine — still can't take risks, he says), disappears for a while each day and comes back with mountaintop herbs that are supposed to dull pain.
He doesn't outright say sorry, but you can see the remorse on his face and in his actions, and it's actually kind of pitiful… it reminds you of a little kid that broke a vase sheepishly trying to put it back together… all in all, you can't really bring yourself to be harsh about it.
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cryptidghostgirl · 2 months
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I would literally pay you to write a sequel to Humanity’s Most Favored Fantasy where the reader ends up in heaven but goes back cuz she needs everyone to know she's OK and alastor confesses cuz he won't miss the chance twice
A/N It was supposed to be a one off but I can totally make this happen bc I do feel like she would be redeemed. Sorry for so many posts today, I am really trying to get through these requests before the week of midterms I am going to deal with next week followed by a family vacation.
Humanity's Most Favored Fantasy pt. 2 (Alastor x Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Part One: Humanity's Most Favored Fantasy (Alastor x Reader)
Warnings: I don't think there are any but please correct me if I am wrong. A tiny little baby bit of angst?? Idk, man.
Word Count: 1,783
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List 
Alastor Master List
Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.
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"You have to send me back."
Sera watched Heaven's two newest angels with careful consideration. They were each the first of their kind as far as either she or Emily knew, sinners having been redeemed.
"You have to at least let me talk to them!" Y/n pleaded, "Please, Charlie needs to know it worked. This... this place, that hotel, it's her dream. She's been dreaming for this all her life, working for it, giving it everything she has her whole life! She needs to know, she deserves to know."
"I mean, Sera, what harm could it do?" Emily tentatively asked her companion.
Y/n turned, looking back at Sir Pentious for help. Both had died in the battle for the hotel, only to be reborn as angels. They each had sacrificed themselves to Adam and his wrath for the sake of their friends, their newly found family.
The journey to Heaven had changed them. Sir Pentious was decked out in all white and gold, little hearts hidden everywhere over his body because it was his confession to Cheri that had been the final straw, that absolute show of humility in the face of sudden violent fear. Y/n on the other hand had found her angle form very similar to the statues she'd poured over as a human. A chiton hung lightly from her shoulders, her hair pulled up in an imperial Roman style and laurels winding their way around her head and through her hair. She looked positively monumental.
"Please." Y/n turned back to Sera, noting Pentious' hesitation, "You... you have to. Aren't we supposed to be all about fairness? About kindness? About caring for others?"
"She's got a point." Emily hummed, "I think we should give them a portal, at least so they can talk to their friends."
It was now Sir Pentious stepped forward, shaking slightly as he still tried to take in his new surroundings. Unlike Y/n who had disregarded them entirely in favor of the fight she was now picking with the seraphim, Pentious was overwhelmed and confused, completely loosing himself to the situation.
"Um... please, my ladies." he tentatively began before Y/n desperately cut him off.
"We wont ask for anything! Ever again! Right Pen?"
Sir Pentious nodded eagerly, his hands clasped before his chest. Emily turned to Sera, her eyes wide and pleading.
"Come on, Sera! Please!"
Sera sighed. This whole occasion was completely unheard of, totally uncharted territory.
"I suppose."
She would need to talk to God, need to get some form of guidance. For now, allowing the redeemed sinners to speak to their friends didn't seem to be too much of a risk. Emily clapped her hands in excitement, Y/n could have cried.
"Thank you."
Reluctantly, Sera nodded her head in welcome and with a flick of her wrist, a spinning disc of gold appeared in the air.
"Here are the rules." she carefully began, "One, you are not to speak to them where Emily and I cannot see both you and them through the portal. Two, there is a time limit. You get five minutes. Thre-"
"Oh come on, Sera!" Emily cut in, "Isn't that enough? This is their family, they might never get to see them again."
Sera let out another world weary sigh. She didn't have the energy to fight with Emily, it was all too much.
"Fine, fine." she waved the younger seraphim off, "Are you two ready?"
Y/n and Pentious met one another's gaze.
"Yes." Sir Pentious answered for them, "I believe so."
With a snap of Sera's fingers, the center of the glowing disc spread open like the aperture of a camera. The sight that met their eyes caused Y/n to gasp, her hands flying to her mouth.
The hotel looked completely different. Everything was nicer, shinier, bigger than either former sinner had ever seen it.
"The fuck is that?" they heard Cherri ask in her thick, Australian drawl.
"It's us!" Sir Pentious happily replied and in a flash, every member of the hotel was gathered on the other side of the portal.
"Charlie!" Y/n exclaimed, tears running down her cheeks, "Angie! Husker!"
"Y/n? Pen?" Charlie asked, her eyes wide.
"You did it!" Y/n happily replied.
"Where are you guys?" Nifty asked, looking in awe at Y/n and Pentious' stark white surroundings.
"We're in Heaven." Sir Pentious proudly replied.
"Say hi Sera, Emily!"
Emily ducked into view of the others, waving excitedly while Sera stayed put.
"Or... not Sera, I guess." Y/n mumbled, a bit disappointed.
Charlie turned to Vaggie, grabbing her girlfriend by the shoulders and shaking her intensly.
"Vaggie!" she screamed in excitment.
"You did it! I'm so proud of you." Vaggie smiled up at her girlfriend, caressing her cheek gently with one of her hands.
"We did it." Charlie corrected, turning back to Y/n and Sir Pentious, "Oh my gosh, you guys! I'm so..."
Charlie sniffled and Y/n laughed, her eyes soft with care.
"We love you too Charlie. We..."
She turned to Sera, catching the look the seraphim shot her that alerted them to their dwindling time.
"We don't have much time." Sir Pentious finished for Y/n, "We just wanted to let you all know. We had to let you all know. Cheri, my dear?"
Cheri's cheeks flushed pink as Angle elbowed her playfully.
"Uh, yeah?"
Pentious smiled.
"I hope to see you soon."
"Sure. Whatever." Cheri looked away and Husk laughed.
"We hope to see all of you soon." Y/n added and then her face fell.
She hadn't meant to sour the mood with the impossibility of her words. Vaggie put a comforting arm around Charlie and Y/n could have sworn she saw one of Alastor's ears twitch from where he stood at the back of the group.
Alastor had been the only one to say nothing to the pair so far. The portal was growing smaller and the only thing on Y/n's mind was letting everyone at the hotel who she knew she might never get the chance to see again know how grateful she was to have had the opportunity to know them.
Brow furrowed, eyes lightly panicked, she turned to Charlie.
"Charlie, I love you." she announced, tears beginning to pool in her eyes, "I am so grateful for you, for everything you've done. You're an incredible person and I... I'm going to miss you so much. Same with you Vaggie. You are the brightest pair of people of any sort I have ever met."
That was the last straw for Charlie. The demon Princess began to bawl and with Angel and Cheri's help, Vaggie lead her out of sight of the portal. Next, Y/n fixed her gaze on Husk.
"Husker, I don't know if... if you or Nifty even want... it doesn't matter." she took a deep breath, "You are both such incredible people, thank you for being my friends."
Husk smiled sadly at her as Nifty latched onto his leg, hugging it tightly as tears began to fall. Lastly, Y/n turned to look at Alastor.
Out of everyone at the hotel, she knew Alastor the least. They never spoke much and when they were in the same room together, he always seemed to be as far away from her as he could get. It was complicated and confusing, but Y/n still knew none of this would have been possible without his help. She took a deep breath.
"Alastor?"
His ears picked up at the sound of her voice saying his name. Warily, he turned to face her.
Ever since the portal had appeared, his brain had been a rushing mess of thought, his heart a caged bird, trapped in the confines of his chest. He had thought he had lost any hope, any chance. Things had suddenly become much more complicated.
"I know we were never close." Y/n began and his breath caught in his throat, "I just... none of this would have been possible without you. I know you have no interest in redemption and... I wish I had gotten to know you better. You're... even though I don't really know you all to well, I want you to know that I love you all the same."
It was the first time, the very first time, those words had ever been directed from her to him. It felt better than Alastor ever could have imagined.
"I love you too."
The words had left his mouth before he'd really been able to think them through. His cheeks flushed pink at the realization of what he had said, Y/n's eyes widened, her lips slightly parted.
It was strange. Maybe it was because he always avoided her, maybe it was because she thought he hated her. Maybe it was a billion different reasons why she had never considered the idea before but none of those things mattered because she heard his words now, considered them now. Y/n realized that maybe, just maybe, she wanted to love him back. Not platonically because maybe, just maybe, in this moment, all she wanted to do was reach through the portal and kiss him.
Those were thoughts to deal with later. She would have time later, she didn't now. The portal's closure became faster and Y/n sent a panicked look towards Sera and Emily. They were, however, unyielding in her silent plea and so she turned back to the quickly shrinking image of Alastor, Husk, and Nifty.
"I..." her voice trembled, "Fuck! Alastor, there's no time. I... fuck!"
There was so much she wanted to say, so many questions left unasked. Alastor, to her surprise, broke through her stressed mutterings, fueled by a sudden, wild courage. It was that human part of him, that one remaining spark of light.
"It's alright." he took a step closer, "You don't have to answer I just... I needed you to know. When Adam... when you died, the... nothing mattered anymore. I never thought I'd get the chance to say it, to tell you the truth. I had to, I had... I'm sorry."
"No! Alastor!" She yelled fiercely back at him, her eyes wild and determined as he loved them best, "Never apologize for loving someone. Never apologize for caring. I..."
The portal was almost shut now.
"Come find me!"
In a burst of golden light like phoenix fire, the portal vanished. Y/n was breathless, she turned to Pentious who was smiling brightly.
"He loves me."
He nodded and she giggled giddily.
"He loves me!"
As reality set in, the joy slipped from her face.
"And I'll probably never see him again."
----
Tags:
@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170@wendyphan01203-blog
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vctrvn-ls · 7 months
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You cuddled into Sharky's sweater, smelling the faint and almost faded signs of the cologne he always used in the morning.
You had a cup of warm tea in your hand, waiting for it to cool down before you could drink it.
It was pouring outside, your windows were covered in a thin layer of fog that built up because you had turned the heater on.
Typical London weather.
Just this morning it was bright and sunny, now it's dull and grey.
You were on the couch, watching a Kdrama called Blind.
Honestly, you were surprised by your own self, considering the fact that you'd always called all the shows "cheesy, corny and annoyingly similar to almost each kdrama that existed".
All of that quickly disappeared after Sharky finally convinced you to watch Blind.
It was a drama, but a thriller and detective story as well. And after getting a taste, you couldn't get enough of the plot. You liked it so much that you happily rewatched the episodes you and Sharky had already seen together, not wanting to watch anything without him.
You sighed, as the last episode, you both had already watched finished, picking up the remote and pausing the tv. You glanced at the window, seeing the sky light up.
Where the hell was he?
You picked up your phone.
10:34
No calls, no texts, no nothing. He said he'd be back late, but he didn't say how late. You wanted to call him, find out if he was ok and make sure he's on his way home.
But, on the other hand, you didn't want to come off as clingy or needy. You'd only been dating for half a year…Didn't really make sense since you moved in together. And you knew that it didn't make sense, but you'd rather not risk anything that might push him away.
Like being too clingy, so with another sigh, you put your phone down and clicked on a different show to kill the time.
Soon, after finishing your tea, you dozed off and fell asleep with Big Mouth playing in the background.
Your eyes opened to the sound of your front door squeaking open, followed by a series of ruffles that sounded like a coat being taken off.
"Baby?" You heard a whisper "You asleep?"
You blinked a few times before sitting up and seeing the hallway of your apartment lit up behind the living room wall.
"Sharky?" You groaned, getting up and making your way to the door.
"Heeyy," you were greeted by a big grin and smiling eyes "Did I wake you up?"
You looked him up and down, seeing a a wet umbrella on the floor and a puddle on the mat beneath Sharky. He was soaked.
You let out a tired chuckle.
"What?" He murmured with a smile, leaning down to take off his boots.
"You look like you've just got out of the pool."
"Have you seen the weather? It's been raining since noon!"
"What was the point of your umbrella then?"
He put his shoes on the rack and looked up at you, shrugging innocently. You shook your head before tiptoeing over to him, making sure not to step on the puddle, and pull him into a lazy hug.
"Oh I missed you too," he snickers, closing his eyes and resting his chin on your head for a couple of seconds. "I'm a bit offended you didn't call." He says as you step back, letting him finish undressing. "It's almost midnight and I've just come home."
You remembered your previous thoughts from today "I didn't wanna..." you paused "I mean I knew you were gonna come home. I didn't wanna like," you shrugged.
"Distract me?" He jokes sarcastically.
"Yeah..."
He saw the uneasy expression on your face.
"You know," Sharky began "I like it when you call me out of nowhere." He pulled off his hoodie.
Your eyes widened hearing his words "Really?"
He smirked "Yeah. It makes me feel wanted."
Wanted? Not annoyed?
"Oh." You felt a small smile tug at the corners of your lips as you realized something. Maybe Sharky didn't mind you being a little...clingy.
"I'm gonna go take a shower." He says, picking up his bag off the floor "We gon watch another episode? Or are you tired-"
"No!" You replied quickly "I really wanna know what happens next."
"Aha, alright. Don't fall asleep though."
"I won't."
That was the liest of the lie lies.
You went back to the couch, and while waiting you stared at the window, droplets of water hypnotizing you as they trickled down the outside of the glass.
"Hey, ba-" Sharky cut himself off as he stepped into the living room, seeing your eyes closed and head rested against a cushion.
"Oh, girl," he whispered, taking the blanket from beside you and covering you with it. He switched off the hallway lights and the tv, before sitting down beside you, closing his eyes and drawing small swirlies on your arm as he dozed off after you.
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bamsara · 1 year
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#49. “Is somebody jealous?” If you feel like it 🤙
Sun-Centric, Moon at the end. | Wordcount: 1,763 | A03 Version
Romantic-leaning.
Taking advantage of the fact that my Sun cannot lie, so he either deflects or avoids the question, while Moon is more blunt. Takes place in ARC 2 (Moon reinstated as DCA, restrictions taken off Sun)
(Also, consider this a draft crumb for a future chapter of Solar Lunacy, so, spoilers. You may see a similar scene in the actual fic later.)
He's the father of one of the children; the boy who's got a obsession with Monty, even shares the same hairstyle and sunglasses as the animatronic, although his parent is a bit duller as you'd expect: Confident guy, cleaned up and usually wearing dull sweaters with dark hair. Used to wear glasses but just wears contacts anymore, and he's got a arm tattoo of a skeleton riding a motocycle under his sleeves hidden by the clothing so it's not an issue at his job.
You don't learn this things of free will, by the way. The guy just really likes to talk to you past departure time whenever you're the one checking the kids out at the door. He's a rabbler, that one, and it goes quickly from a refreshing casual conversation to a realization that he was staying at touch over his welcome.
Sun usually comes to your rescure, in the oddest of ways, sometimes.
Sometimes he'll come up behind you, shoo you off to go collect some other child for another parent while he 'verifies' the parent's identity (which you know is bollocks, since the father picks up the same boy every day he's dropped off and the little troublemaker never had an issue recognizing the guy)
Other times he'll yell something about children knocking over a tower, or throwing ballpit toys or pool noodles, and despite knowning damn well he can handle them well enough, you'll excuse yourself to go take care of the scene without coming off as rude to the customer.
Really, you don't want to come off rude to a Pizzaplex guest. You're not exactly sure where you're job stands as it is. You're not going to take any risks of a complaint.
It takes a little bit longer this time. A child is currently sobbing over a skinned knee they got from rough housing in the pizzaplex while you're at the doors checking out the troublemaker and the twins to their respective parents. The mothers of the twins collect their boys, bid you a good day and leave well enough. The father of the troublemaker, as usual, lingers even after his name is marked off the list.
"Gettin' pretty cold out, aint it?" He says, pulling a small phone out of his pocket and handing it to the boy. His son takes it, and is busy with a mobile game quicker than you can blink. "Not gonna be much longer until Christmas."
You smile. Sun is busy comforting the child in the back end of the Daycare, so you'll have to navigate this conversation on your own. "Yep. Look's like we'll be as busy as ever."
It's carefully chosen words, and you watch the reaction in his face as you say them. It seems to be the correct choice, because something in his face steels. "Yeah, yeah. Say, you got any hobbies outside of this place?"
A casual, nonformal shrug. "I spend most of my time here, actaully."
"Oh, I gotcha." He chuckles. "Getting tired of hanging around robots yet?"
"Not really." Still smiling, gotta keep up apperances. "They're actaully great friends of mine."
Something shifts in the man's expression. Not in the way that makes you think he'd suddenly think less of you to like hanging around robots, but like he's just unlocked some sort of secret backstory lore for his favorite character in a video game, and you're the npc. "Oh, really? That's pretty cool of you. You know, I work with a couple robots myself. Over at the office." He talks like he's bragging you have something in common. "Takes out the trash and gets the coffee. Like interns, but you don't have to pay em."
Your smile stretches a bit thin. "They do good work. My friend Sun might need my help in a moment."
It's a light excuse, one that doesn't seem likes it's going to work because you don't hear a child crying anymore, and Sun isn't anywhere to be seen from a glance around the Daycare. The father interjects again. "Oh, yeah. Lanky guy, isn't he?"
"He's probably getting things ready for naptime." You turn to step away from the door. "I should go get the blankets-"
Your step away seems to activate something in him. "Oh, wait! Before you're busy. Didn't mean wanna impose, but would you-?"
A flash of yellow, reds and oranges comes into your vision rather quickly in the corner of your eye, and Sun is there (thank god) with a toddler curled up in his arms. She's already sleeping, and he's careful the beads in her hair don't press inbetween where her head rests against his chassis, and talks in a whisper-yell. "Heelllooooooo, there!"
The father looks a bit startled to seem him for a second before his composure returns, and you try not to look visably relieved. "Everything under control?"
"You betcha!" Sun manages to be loud and quiet at the same time, a feat only he can achieve, and turns to the father and his son standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry, but the Daycare will have it's naptime soon, so we'll be turning off the lights and trying to keep to our inside voices." He talks calm, assertive. "Is there anything else I can help you with before you go?"
This seems to work, the father blows air through his nose in semblance of a sigh, and shrugs. "Ah, nah. We've got it here." He turns to you to say the goodbye, though. "See you around."
You and Sun speak in unison as the pair leaves. "Have a Faztastic day!"
The door shuts behind the man and his son, and you feel the tension leave from your shoulders. Children are already getting into their mats and blankets on their own (save for two that are trying to fit into one sleeping bag so they can nap together, but you don't break them up or else they have nightmares) and you don't see much else for you to do other than to turn the lights off.
Sun holds the sleeping toddler in one arm, a hand coming up to gently cover her ears with the other. "Bit of a talker, that one."
"It's not like he's doing anything wrong." You shrug, setting your clipboard on the security desk. "Just chooses the worst time. I mean, like, c'mon. I'm at work here. I can't chat with people at the door."
"Would you prefer outside the Pizzaplex?" The animatronic asks. He doesn't look as nervous when you approuch the light switch anymore. Well, usually. "I'm sure he'd like that."
You don't reach for the light switch yet; doing so mid conversation would be rude, but you still raise a brow. "Sounding a little suspisious there, Sunny."
"Suspisious." He repeats, scoffing. "His intentions are plain as day! And I'm the day! Look at me! I'm telling you. Right now."
It's playful behavior, and the way he sounds when it's flared up is a little funny, so you cross your arms and lean against the wall next to the light switch. "Okay? What if I like the attention?"
Sun's smile thins. "Oh, we doubt that."
"But what if you're wrong? Would it be so bad?" You're teasing him, obviously, that much is clear. You can tell by the look on your friend's face that he's two seconds away from rolling his eyes (or maybe he is already, and you just can't see the pupils) but you're allowed to poke at the Daycare Attendant every now and then. "Maybe we'll never know because you keep chasing him off."
"I would gasp right now, dramatic and awful, but the childern are trying to sleep." Sun sounds incredbably deadpan. "And I'm not going to entertain your theatrics-"
"My theatrics?" You give a short laugh. "The last time he was doing this, you pretended to fall and break a leg so I could excuse myself to 'repair' you."
Sun holds up one finger to you. "And yet you still came running!"
"...Boo."
"There will be no 'booing' in the daycare-"
"Oh, boo. You just don't want me to get a date cause you'd miss me." You snort.
Sun looks like he's about to say something, then goes quiet, face static. You grin. The girl he's holding hasn't stirred yet, but knowning him, he's probably holding back for her sake to defend himself. He only does so after a moment. "Teasing and bullying is not allowed in the Daycare either, or do you think you're always excluded from rules?"
"So you would!" You laugh, and cover your mouth with your hand so it doesn't make so much noise. "And please, you let me get away with so much-"
Sun looks esasperated. "Against our will."
"What are you, jealous?" You continue, and miss the visible stillness that takes over the animatronic when you talk. White pupils deadpan at you and you snicker. "What? Nothing to say? Is somebody jealous?"
You chuckle as the Daycare Attendant stares at you, smiling but silient. It's fun to tease him, but it's about time you let him get back to work before you waste time, and you reach for the light switch, still leaning back agaist the wall. "Alright, alright. I'm done. Let's get-"
A hand reaches out over yours, pressing it against the light switching flipping it off as your fingers are locked underneath it's own. You pause, gaze dropping from the lightswitch and traveling back in front of you towards the animatronic as the lights in the Daycare go out.
The switch happens differently each time, but better times like this, it's a blink, and the Daycare Attendant went a far cry from hiding away each time to this; unwaving eyecontact, leaning int a little too close for comfort as colors change and the pressure on your hand feels a touch sharper.
"Yes." Moon says, deadpan.
You blink. "Uh."
"Blankets." His hand drops from the light switch, from your hand, and adjusts his grip on the still sleeping toddler in his other arm.
The small-talk of an animatronic leans away from you, and casually, turns the opposite direction towards the children who were either half-asleep on their mats already, or quite excited to see him. You watch as the animatronic finds a open mat to tuck the toddler into, mummering quiet hushes to the children around him as he busies himself with his duties.
Well, you might have lost that one. You retrieve the blankets from the supply closet, using your hands to scrub at the warmness in your face when he's not looking.
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alagaesia-headcanons · 6 months
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I've Had A Thought. I was thinking about the scene where Eragon is reminiscing over Brom's message to him as his father, and how Eragon is confounded and troubled that he in no way mentioned Murtagh. I found it a little sad that, for whatever reason, Brom decided Murtagh didn't bear mentioning. Then it crossed my mind to consider the possibility that Brom didn't know about Murtagh at all.
As it turns out, Eragon actually does think about it in that scene- he says, "He must have known about Murtagh. He couldn't not have." And admittedly I don't think this is the most likely scenario or that it's now my personal interpretation of canon, but the idea really has captivated me. Because it actually does fit within the facts! (the new book notwithstanding)
Brom was a gardener at Morzan's estate for three years, and while it's probably more likely that he learned about Murtagh in that time, I think it's certainly feasible for him to never know. Morzan was very determined to keep him hidden and took a lot of precautions to ensure just that. Oromis said Morzan forced all his servants to swear fealty and Brom found a flaw in his wards to infiltrate, and possibly he was able to do so because a job as a gardener didn't require such strict oaths because it wasn't in proximity to Murtagh.
Again, it may not be the most likely, but I can absolutely believe Selena might not have told him either. She also would have been aware of the serious danger Murtagh was in and would've wanted him to stay hidden. Even after Brom told her who he was and she started working with the Varden, she might have kept it secret. For one, Brom's hatred of Morzan is described as extreme and all consuming, and that it never waned with time. Even if she came to believe that Brom wouldn't harm Murtagh, she might not have trusted he could look at him kindly. And of course, telling him about her child with Morzan also risked damaging their relationship considering that they were lovers. Then there's the possibility that Selena did build all this necessary trust to tell Brom about Murtagh if he wasn't aware of him already, but it was too late for her to discuss it with him before she died. So I think it is conceivable that Brom actually never knew about Murtagh's existence.
Where this concept really shines is in an AU where Brom survives after Murtagh saves them from the Ra'zac. I've always liked these, and I sometimes toy with my own, but there's so many ways Brom could react and I've never been able to settle on one well enough to get invested in it. But I find this SUCH a fascinating take on it (especially if you wave off the detail that Murtagh's voice sounds ~exactly like~ Morzan's, which I tend to do). Brom recovers and meets their rescuer, and he has no idea he's looking at Morzan and Selena's son. Murtagh seems terribly familiar, but Brom has been relentlessly haunted by his past for so long now that he doesn't put much stock in the perceived similarities. Meanwhile, Murtagh realizes that Brom truly does not know that he's the son of the man he murdered, a precarious but welcome relief. Because he doesn't know- up until Murtagh's confession in the valley.
Brom is stunned by disbelief. It can't be true, Morzan had no children, because surely he would know, surely-! But another thought dawns on him, drowning out the memories of Morzan, because who could have been the mother of his child other than his wife: Selena? And Murtagh is looking at him with fear, fear that he'll turn on him because he shares the blood of the man Brom hated most. It's heart wrenching, because even as part of his mind tells him that maybe he should scorn him, Brom is looking at this man who single handedly saved him from the brink of death and saved Eragon and Saphira from far worse at the hands of Galbatorix, and who has given them extraordinary devotion ever since.
In his core, he accepts the truth of Murtagh's claim as he explains his past and recounts the story of his parents exactly how Brom knows it to be. The paradigm shift sends him reeling. Murtagh believes Brom is affected only because of his past with Morzan; he has no way of knowing what he felt for Selena. He still glances at him nervously, especially as he admits that he briefly intended to serve Galbatorix, yet then there's also a spark of trust and gratitude- maybe even hope- in his eyes when Brom doesn't rescind the way he vouched for him when they were stopped inside the gates. How could he? Murtagh has accomplished one thing neither Morzan nor Selena ever did: escape.
Despite everything, his aching heart feels something fiercely like pride. He would not dare ruin that for him.
Then to further prove the truth, like the world is laughing at his years of ignorance, Ajihad recognizes him, because after Murtagh was brought to Uru'baen, the Varden's spies informed him of Morzan's son. But of course, that was after Brom cut himself off and started living in Carvahall, so he never learned of that discovery. "Morzan's son" is said over and over, but in Brom's mind, that idea is far eclipsed by Selena's son. He's hurt and ashamed to realize he never knew something so significant about the woman he loved. And he feels guilty that Murtagh struggled for so long in Uru'baen because no one was there to save him when he was left helplessly alone. Brom must have been so close to him when he arrived right after Selena's death, but he just didn't know.
Brom is utterly at a loss. How can he process Murtagh- the child of Selena and Morzan, Eragon's half brother, and in a certain sense, his own stepson? What can he do now? He was already so terrified of telling Eragon the truth of being his father, and now he has another staggering revelation to inflict on Eragon and Murtagh both. The prospect feels terrifyingly impossible, but keeping his secrets has grown even more painful. Watching how easily and how well Eragon and Murtagh get along is now bitterly ironic. Even without knowing it, Murtagh is a great older brother, waiting vigilantly near his side after the battle. The injury Durza inflicted scared Brom in a way he can't put into words; he simply could not bear to lose Eragon. How could he risk that happening without telling Eragon how much he loves him and values him as his son? But telling him truth could be the quickest way to lose him. And now, with Murtagh, he has more to lose than he ever realized.
-And because Murtagh deserves it, I like all these changes resulting in the Twins never getting the chance to kidnap him, and so Brom has to figure out how to make the three of them into a family <3
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leebrontide · 1 year
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Ok so I said I would do a post on “reasons you’re not writing” from the POV of a writer/therapist who works with anxious, depressed, and neurodivergent clients. If you dig that, read on.
But firstly, a disclaimer. This list is far from comprehensive. Don’t yell at me if your experience isn’t represented. This is a tumblr post. Have realistic expectations.
Also, sometimes the reason you’re not writing is that your other obligations are just taking all of your energy and focus. Fixing that is well beyond the scope of this.
That said, here’s a bunch of barriers I see people run into all the time.
1) You’re afraid of failing, and subconsciously feel like it’s safer not to try.
This is a tricky one, because it's probably messing up many areas of your life, which in turn means you're going to frequently feel stressed out in general, which speaks to the point above.
This is around about where the general internet will tend to offer you an array of affirmations to use to sooth yourself. And that's fine. If those work for you, then use them! BUT, if the affirmations aren't working, then friend you have a bigger project on your hands.
You need to get comfortable with failing, particularly at creative projects. I know that can feel scary and vulnerable, but you won't take risks if you can't fail, which is going to hem in your creativity so hard that your motivation will starve. This is why people talk about writing a garbage draft. Not because they want to make garbage, but because they need the option of making garbage in order to take risks. That may or may not work for you, but either way, you really might wanna look at how to lower your stakes.
2) You’re not sure what you’re trying to communicate.
You can make things happen in the story, but you feel like you’re wandering around aimlessly. You don't find you're making decisions with conviction. It might be hard to really fall in love with any of your writing decisions.
For this one, I suggest stepping back and figuring out what the core of your enthusiasm for a story consists of. That CAN be a message or philosophy. It can also be a feeling or a vibe or a dynamic. That gives you a structure that you can build your decisions around, that you can be enthusiastic about.
3) You switched hyperfocus. And maybe your new hyperfocus is a lot of fun, but you feel sadness thinking about the WIP you left behind.
This one has a similar need to the one before, with an added layer of nuance, because you're probably already struggling with identifying what does interest you. This can make people feel really hopeless and helpless.
I have three totally different suggestions for this one. The first is to just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it's good for your brain to just indulge, and let your brain mine for dopamine where it can. Like, lean in. Spa day for your brain, as long as it's feeling good.
Secondly, see if you can find creative ways to weave your hyperfocus into your writing. Is there a dynamic in your favorite show that can inspire your writing, even if it's an original work? Do you want to take a moment to think about how transportation works in the history of your world? Can you consider your MCs relationship to old movies?
It doesn't always work, but sometimes instead of trying to switch things over, you can build a bridge, that gives depth and texture to your work.
Finally- consider embracing short fiction! Do some writing inspired directly by the hyperfocus du joir while it's around.
4) You feel like nothing you say will be interesting to anyone else.
We understand this is a self-esteem issue, right? You're gonna have to develop the trust that your experiences are not so utterly unrelatable to everyone else that your perspective has no value.
Friend, you are a human, with human experiences, writing for other humans. Trust me, you can do this.
It can help to think about your actual convictions. What do you know? What have you experienced? What matters to you? Funnily enough, the cure for feeling like nothing in you is worth expressing is to pour more of yourself into your writing.
5) You’re collapsed. It’s hard to feel enthusiasm and energy for things.
You're not gonna like this, but for this one I encourage you to put your keyboard or notebook down and stop trying to write right now. I know that when you're feeling better the writing feels good, and you're trying to feel better because everyone is telling you to feel better.
But it's not working, is it? If it was, you wouldn't be reading this.
For many people, writing requires them to be able to feel investment and excitement, because those feelings help steer them towards what's going to work and be exciting for the reader.
Your best bet is to focus your energy on finding gentle little activities that aren't so hard to focus on. Ideally, ones that get you moving just a little bit. You'll have a better time writing when you're less collapsed.
Shaming yourself and getting hopeless and anxious because you can't do this really difficult task right now will make you more collapsed, not less, which will be the opposite of helpful.
And yes, these are depression symptoms. Consider reaching out for supports and assessment around that if you can.
6) You can’t figure out the next step.
Thank God for the internet, this one is a lot more actionable than it used to be.
The first thing to do here is step back and ask yourself "where am I getting lost?" If you have someone to talk this through with, even better.
Then you hop on to your favorite search engine and type in "Stuck on my outline 2nd act" or "can't get started editing" or whatever. People LOVE giving writing advice. There's plenty around. Read some advice! Try things out!
Now here is the critical point- when and if that advice fails, stop and figure out why it failed. For example, I have a short term memory disorder. Most writing process advice is for people who do not have short term memory impairments. So a lot of the advice just plain didn't work for me.
By figuring out that my subpar memory was in the way of my writing process, I was able to put together processes that work for my specific brain and my specific process. You can read about that in more depth here and here.
Frankenstien yourself a process out of stolen bits of other people's processes, with an understanding of your own personalized needs as the lightning that brings it all to life. If you have even traits of ADHD or autism or other forms of neurodiversity (no diagnosis needed) you might also google "ADHD editing hacks".
Finally, and maybe most importantly, chuck anything that you can't adapt right into the trash. I don't care how great the writer who gave the advice is. That's what works for their life and their brain. You have neither. Writing advice is only as useful as it is adaptable.
7) You think of yourself as someone who doesn’t finish things, possibly with history to back that up.
Oh, I feel this one. This was me so hard. For so long.
Make room for the idea that you can and will change over time. Getting shit done is largely a matter of developing a bunch of skills. You've already developed so many different skills in your life that you might not even recognize some of them as skills. But I promise you that you have.
But you see #6? Go read that one again. If you're not finishing things, it's because there's something missing in your routine and process that you haven't developed skills around yet.
I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but you can find and isolate the barriers and figure out ways around them.
8) You have too many projects and feel frozen when you try to pick one to work on.
Ask yourself if this is a real problem. It may be! Maybe you dream of making a living off of your writing! That requires a level of consistency.
But it also might just be that you've had it drilling into your head that not finishing things is some kind of personal failing.
Write out all your WIPs and story seeds.
See if some of them can be mushed into one. Some AMAZING stories come from people combining story ideas that seem separate into a single story. That's fun.
See if some of them are not for finishing. What's that post going around? Some stories are for finishing, and some are just for "getting the wiggles out"? That's solid advice.
Maybe some stories are just for daydreaming on the bus. Maybe some stories are actually only 1/3rd of a story, and you want to leave it to grow in the ground before you try to do anything with it. That's incredibly valid and common!
If you actually look at the stories that you have that are for finishing, right now, you may find a much more manageable number. And if you only have like 2 or 3 things you're working on, you can just let them take turns as the passion for each project takes you.
Keep a file somewhere of these undeveloped ideas. I have a scrivner file that has each idea it's own little sub-document so I can add thoughts to them for years as they percolate.
9) You get lost in preparation and don’t make it to the page.
A couple different things can be happening here. One thing that may be happening is that you're just a writer who needs a lot of research and prep time before you write. I'm like that. I will prewrite intensively for a year before I write a single sentence. That sounds ridiculous to a lot of people but it works with how my brain works and then when I do start writing I can easily and happily churn out a consistent 2-4k words per hour. If it works it works! Don't let anyone shame you!
The other option is that you feel like you're going to get something wrong/fail/get in trouble if you get anything "wrong". You feel safer doing research, so that's where you stay.
Only you can figure out which it is. Introspect. Then you know whether to focus on managing anxiety or just keep preppin.
10) You want to write, but when you sit down to write suddenly it’s two hours later and you’ve written like 5 words but curated 3 new playlists, read some fanfiction, and argued with some strangers on the internet.
Brains are rough, aren't they.
There are two schools of thought here. Both work, but not for all the same people.
Option 1 is to clear distractions. Download one of those apps that keeps you off the internet. Put your phone someplace that you need a ladder to reach, so you have to very actively decide to go get it. Noise cancelling headphones. Comfy clothes. Protein rich snacks and a beverage within easy reach. Pee ahead of time. Make a routine out of it to train your brain into associating this with focus.
Option 2 is to figure out the optimal level of distraction. When I write nonfiction I almost always have mindless home renovation shows on at the same time. Because nonficiton writing isn't quite stimulating enough to hold my attention. So my attention wanders and I end up doing something that WILL hold my attention. When I write fiction, I need music OR to be outdoors where I can look at trees or clouds or people on the sidewalk. I can't watch any kind of TV.
Think of your attention like a pie chart. Different writing tasks may take up different percentages of that pie. If you're awesome at focus maybe you can just put 90% of your focus on writing, and the other 10% is just making sure you don't forget to eat or something. But if you can't reliably conjure up more than 70% for one thing, then fill the rest of the pie with things you can easily pick up and put down. I only look up at the home decorating shows when my passive audio scanning suggests it's something I want to look up at.
These are both good approaches. Ignore anyone who demonizes either. That only means they've found the version that works for them.
You have your brain. Build a process for your brain.
I hope this helps. I have a free monthly newsletter if you like hearing my rants. It is...not consistently about writing advice or mental health. One time I wrote about how genetically modified goats are related to French colonized Madagascar in the 1800s as well as the modern US military. One time I broke down modern challenges to medical privacy practice policies. This is all to do with what I write but in an idiosyncratic way.
Cause I gotta write about what I care about.
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pleaseeeimjustagirl · 5 months
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Shifting Your Mindset From Scarcity To Abundance 
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Your mindset can be the reason you're not reaching your goals or living the life you want. Philosophers say the way that you think is exactly the way you will live. A lot of people live with a scarcity mindset believing the things they want are unattainable and out of reach. And if you struggle with this way of thinking it's time to shift your mindset to an abundance mindset. Your goals are achievable and the life you want is achievable.
What is a scarcity mindset?
A scarcity mindset is an outlook on life that focuses on the lack of resources it's like putting blinders on limiting what you notice that can benefit you in the world. For example, you don't think there are any more good men in the world so you settle for a guy who doesn't meet your standards. Another example is wanting to start a business and assuming you won't be successful because there are others in the same niche as you. Even comparing your beauty to the next woman. Living in this cycle can create a lot of anxiety, anger, and resentment towards others and their achievements.
Signs you have a scarcity mindset 
♡ Perfectionism. You assume that anything less than perfect isn't good enough. This will only lead to procrastination and fear of risk-taking and the cycle will continue.
♡ You hate to see others succeed. Instead of celebrating the accomplishments of others you feel threatened by them. Thinking that their success takes away your chances of being successful or that they are outshining you. You feel that for your situation to get better others must fail so you can win.
♡ Competing with others. You might compare yourself to others and that can lead to competing and trying to outdo the next person. Some people will be in hard financial times and instead of being financially responsible, they will try to keep up with the Jones buying designer and so many other items that don't benefit them at that time.
♡ You blame others for your problems. We all know someone who didn't put in the effort to do something and when asked what happened they blame the world, economy, or anything unrelated to why they didn't achieve their goal. They lack accountability for their actions leading to their failures.
♡Being pessimistic. We will all have bad days and see things negatively we are human but always being pessimistic about all the things in your life is a terrible way to live. 
♡ Negative self-talk. You find yourself saying “I can't do that”, “this will never happen to me”, or “This isn't realistic for someone like me.” Your mind believes only what you feed it and if you feed your mind sentences like these you will always live with a scarcity mindset.
If you resonate with any of these signs now its time to change babes<3
What is an abundance mindset?
An abundance mindset is believing that the world is filled with enough resources and time for you to accomplish any goals you have. You optimistically see life and don't hold on to negativity. You let go and let things be. You trust yourself and pour into yourself and the world around you. Seeing the glass as half full.
Signs you have an abundance mindset 
♡ You are an optimist. Like I said above you tend to the glass as half full.  Negative things may happen to you but instead of thinking why me? You think what can I learn from this experience?
♡ High level of self-awareness. You're able to have a balanced self-image and can recognize the negative traits that you need to fix. You praise and optimize your positive traits.
♡ Being present. You focus on the now you don't get caught up in the past on what could have been or stress yourself on the future on what could be. You focus on the things you can control.
♡ You celebrate people. You want to see others achieve their goals even if they are similar to your own. You think there is enough room for everyone to be successful and happy.
♡ You are open to change. You believe the sky is the limit! And there is always room for new hobbies, careers, and so on. You take advantage of new opportunities that come your way.
♡ Generosity. You don't mind giving your time, money, and resources to others because you believe that these things are endless and always flowing into your life.
♡  Personal development. Instead of focusing on the shortcomings of others you focus on your personal growth and work on becoming the best version of yourself.
How do you cultivate an abundance mindset?
♡ Gratitude journaling. Make time during your day to journal the stuff that you are grateful for. Reflect on the small things in your life that bring you happiness, peace, and hope. Gratitude journaling can help improve your mental health, increase self-esteem, and reduce stress.
♡ Practice being mindful. Practice awareness in the present moment through breath work, sensory activation, and meditation
♡ Positive affirmations. Start speaking positively to yourself and focus on showing love to the things you can’t change about yourself and the things you love about yourself. Making positive statements combat limiting beliefs. This will increase your self-esteem.
♡ Surround yourself with people who have an abundance mindset. We don't realize but the people around us do slowly have an impact on us. Make friends with people who have an abundance mindset instead of those who think negatively with a scarcity mindset.
Going into 2024 we need to kick these scarcity mindsets and sit with abundance affirming that we can achieve our goals. If you have any other tips you’d like to share please comment below and share them with our other girliesss<3
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