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justcallmenikki7 · 4 years

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Regretful Choices

Pairing: BTS x Reader (Poly!Au) Summary: You get into an argument with your boyfriends, and you decide to take matters into your own hands. Warnings: Poly!Au, angssst, fluff, hurt/comfort, guilty bts, bts being dicks and making reader feel bad for her sexuality?? (trust me they’re angry and say stuff that they shouldn’t), crying bts, angst beginning with happy ending, jealous bts, bts being good guys but making dumb word choices. W.C.: 2k Request: Anon Said- Hey Love, just wanted to know if i could request OT7 getting jealous of their O/C slow dancing with someone else at a party after they had been in an argument (if not just ignore this ily💞) Notes: I am finally done with this semester and now I am constantly working :). And the title is shit i am so sorry lmao

Going from a happy moment with your boyfriends to a yelling, name calling argument moment in a span of five minutes surprises you how fast things can change. Truthfully, it is not your fault – but the boys think differently all because you were caught hanging out with your lesbian best friend Maria. Yes, you can see where they are coming from because you and Maria did have sex before, but that was because she was wanting to help you discover your sexuality. Going to her was your best bet since you trust her, and there are no strings attached. Plus, that was seven years ago when the both of you were in high school. But that fact does not change the way the boys think about the situation.

“Why are you getting so defensive, Y/N?” Yoongi spoke in a cold, distant voice. “What are you trying to hide, huh?”

Him implying on you cheating on them felt like you were punched in the chest. Looking at your boyfriends closely, you could tell that they are on Yoongi’s side, not trying to step in and say different, not even to defend you. “You guys think I would do that?” You asked with a broken voice.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jungkook gave you a look that was so foreign to you. “I don’t know, you tell us. Would you, Noona? You seem pretty close to Maria and let’s add on to the fact you hooked up with her in the past. Seems pretty…sneaky.”

Not knowing what to do, or say, you reached your hand up to your neck, grabbing the necklace the boys got you for your six months anniversary, and you yanked to where it broke from the force of your yank. The boy’s eyes became wide, almost scared even. “Fuck you all. If you are going to use my discovery of sexuality against me, then you are all hypocrites. You guys are childish and narcissistic assholes. My and Maria’s ‘hook up’ was seven fucking years ago, before I knew any of you. I can see where the trust lies in the relationship. But what is the kicker is that I did everything for you guys. I sacrificed so much to be with you, but I guess this is my slap in the face. So, you know what? I am leaving.” Walking over to the door, grabbing your phone and purse on the way out, you slammed open the door to the dorm before slamming it shut with a lot of force.

Once you got two blocks away, you found a bench to sit on and broke down.

Back at the dorm, the seven men were all stunned into silence. What just had happened is now catching up to them, the guilt now taking over their conscious and mind – especially Yoongi and Jungkook.

Standing up from the couch that he was sat on, Yoongi walked over to where you threw the necklace down, bending down and picking it up. The gold necklace that had a heart on it felt like a brick in his hand, a wake-up call to him. Bottom lip wobbling, tears forming in his eyes, the silver haired man let out a gasp.

“I fucked up,” Yoongi spoke. “I fucked up so bad.”

“We fucked up,” Namjoon spoke up. “We all did, not just you Yoongi.” The leader stated in an authoritative tone, already knowing that he is in the wrong.

“I made Noona leave,” Jungkook whimpered out, seeking comfort from his hyung, Seokjin. “I trust Noona! I promise hyung, I do.” Too lost in his emotions and guilt, Jungkook began to voice his wrongful actions and words, apologizing for everything, even though you are not to hear it.

After two hours of sobbing, mainly from Jungkook, and getting eaten alive from guilt, everyone had calmed down(ish).

“Do you think she’ll take us back?” Taehyung asked in a croaky voice, looking at his hyung, Namjoon.

“I hope so, but there is a huge chance that she won’t. She probably, more than likely, believes that we do not trust her and see her as a cheater.” Namjoon knows that his words hurt Jungkook since he was the one who implied that, but he had to be realistic. “It isn’t a promise, Taehyung.”

And with that statement, the boys all sat quietly in the living room, trying to think on how they can get you back.

It has been two weeks since the fight, or breakup.

And you are doing terrible. You have not showered in six days, to depressed to even move from your bed, or to do anything in general. The one thing that you have been successfully to do is not answering the text messages and calls from your ex-boyfriends. Seeing their names pop up on your phone always clenches your heart because you want to answer the call so badly, but you just physically cannot do so. The words, the implying of what you supposedly did, the looks they gave you; it is all a constant reminder.

“Why are we here?” You groaned to your best friend, Jisoo as she pushed you through the crowded bar, trying to find a place to sit at.

“Because you are lying in bed miserable, which is agonizingly painful to watch. Plus, you have been locked up in your house for two weeks straight and you need to get out some more. So, me being the bestest friend in the whole wide world took this into my own hands.” Jisoo grinned at you with her dazzling smile.

Rolling your eyes, you mumbled your own thoughts, earning a smack from Jisoo. Going to smack her back, you were stopped abruptly, accidentally bumping into Jisoo’s back. “Why did you—” You stopped mid-sentence, seeing why your best friend had stopped in mid walk. There, at least twenty feet away from you were the seven men that caused you pained for the last two weeks.

To your luck, they spotted you right away, stares burning right through you. The overwhelming feeling of needing to cry took over your body, making you turn around, only to be stopped by your best friend.

“No,” she protested, “you are not allowing them to run your life. We are going to have a grand time tonight even though they are here.” With that, she continued her way to the booth she laid eyes on, you cowering away from their stares.

An hour later, three tequila shots in, you are doing fine. You are smiling, joking around with Jisoo and the two guys who decided to join you both fifteen minutes into the night. But you could not deny that you are yearning for your ex boyfriends touch, hugs, and the sound of their voices. You know that they are watching you, the constant feeling of eyes on you letting you know that they are.

“Hey!” Jackson, the guy who has been sitting by you all night yelled over the music, “Want to dance?” He asked, a tipsy smile on his face.

Hearing the invite, Jisoo gave you a thumbs up from across the table. Not seeing anything wrong with the invite, you nodded your head with a smile on your face. “Sure!” You yelled your answer.

Dragging you onto the dance floor, Jackson grabbed your hand and began leading you into the twist dance, earning a laugh from you. Following his movements, the both of you fell into a fit of giggles and grins. Not noticing the figures coming up behind you, you yelped in surprise when you felt a hand grip your arm and pull you back into their chest, breaking the grip that you and Jackson held onto each other’s hands.

Turning around, you came face to face with Jungkook. Ripping your arm away, you carefully hid the longing feeling of his touch by glaring at him, along with the other six, and moving away from them. “What do you want?” You sneered, the anger and pain that you have felt the last two weeks are now surfacing.

“Why are you dancing with him?” Taehyung asked, glaring at Jackson.

“Because I can?” You answered, the answer being more of a question. “Why do you care? Are you going to start—”

“Can we please talk somewhere private?” Namjoon asked, more like pleaded. “Please?” He asked again.

Rolling your eyes, you agreed anyways. “Sure.” Turning around to Jackson, you gave him a small smile and told him that you will see him later.

Leaning against the wall, you picked at your nails, wanting some sort of distraction from the elephant in the room.

“We miss you.” Jimin blurted out, not being able to take the silence.

Looking up shocked at his confession, you tried to keep the tears and emotions at bay. “What?”

Sighing angrily, the anger more at himself than you, Yoongi ran his hands down his face. “We miss you, Y/N, so fucking much. We are so sorry.”

Snorting, “you think that I am supposed to believe that?”

Frowns covered all of the boys faces. “You don’t believe us?” Seokjin asked wearily.

“I mean, not really. You guys accused me of being ‘sneaky,’ thinking that I am sleeping with Maria and cheating on you guys. Plus, you basically shamed me of my sexuality and made me feel like shit. You guys decided to accuse me of something, not even try to listen to my side of the story, and gang up on me instead of sitting down, like adults, and talk about this. So, yes, thinking that you guys miss me is kind of hard to believe.”

“You didn’t even answer our calls and texts. You decided to ignore us!” Jungkook yelled, becoming emotional.

“How am I supposed to face you guys after that?! You embarrassed me and made me feel so belittle and ashamed of myself. How am I supposed to pick up the phone and face you?” You shot back, quickly wiping the tear that fell down your cheek.

“Sunshine,” Hoseok began, “we are so sorry. You are right, we should’ve sat down like mature adults and talk about this. We acted on emotions instead of logical thinking. You are not sneaky, you’re truthful, loving, faithful. You do so much for us, love us so much, support us to no end and we threw it into your face like assholes. We hate ourselves for what we have done to you. But if you give us a second chance, let us prove to you that we are not assholes.” Hoseok spoke up, tears streaming down his face.

Biting your lip, you thought for a moment.

You love these seven idiotic, dumbass, loving boys. You know that they are sorry, you know them like the back of your hand, like how they know you. You also know that everyone makes mistakes and do deserve a second chance. This is the first time that something like this has happened, it is not like it is a reappearing thing. At the end of the day, you see yourself with them for forever. And at the end of the day, you know that you love them with all of your heart.

“You guys are lucky that I love you so much,” your voice broke at the end, and you knew that they heard you. In a split second, you found yourself wrapped up in their arms, breaking down into a sob.

“We love you so much, Jagi,” Namjoon mumbled into your forehead, kissing it right after.

“Forever and always,” you said back.

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quazartranslates · 3 years

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Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH2

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 2: Resurrection Overture (II)

Qi Leren buried his face in Ning Zhou's uniform for a long time as his heart that felt as if it had been fried in oil slowly calmed down. He climbed out of the hollow tree stump with difficulty.

Inexplicably, this weather-beaten old tree stump that should have been dead had a fresh bud emerging from it, which had grown half a meter high in just seven days, swaying its new green leaves in the breeze.

Qi Leren touched the leaves of the new buds and suddenly felt that he had been reborn.

Still not fully recovered, he walked slowly in the Garden of the Holy Tomb and slowly fought sensation back into his body. He didn't know what's going on outside presently, so it was more appropriate to wait for his condition to be better before going out.

While pacing, Qi Leren sorted out his own matters.

Thanks to two dangerous missions in succession, his remaining survival time was an astonishing 162 days, 7 hours and 32 minutes. Usually, one-fifth to one-third of his survival time would be used to buy necessities. Even so, he had more than one hundred days at his disposal, so the training trip he had already planned could be put on the agenda. After returning to the Village of Dusk and meeting with Ning Zhou, he would suspend the task first, exercise his skills well, and at least master the basic usage of guns.

As for the main task’s second step, it was necessary to go to Purgatory in the depths of the Underground Ant City. Qi Leren learned about the situation there while he was undercover as "Red". With his current strength, the risk of going there was too great, and he needed to consider it again.

Item cards and equipment had returned to his item bar, and a new skill card had been added:

[Secretly Observing (binding skill card): When using this skill card, the holder will feel a mysterious power which will enhance your five senses and decrease the perception of your existence. With this, when you observe, others will not observe you. But remember, observe propriety and don't do anything. Skill lasts for 10 minutes and cools down for 24 hours.]

Qi Leren took this skill card and frowned slightly.

Why did he get such a skill card for the achievement of "Deceiving the Devil of Fraud"? Judging from his previous S/L skill and Dr. Lu's skill cards, the achievements should be closely related to the rewards, so the achievement of Deceiving the Devil of Fraud should enable him to obtain a skill card with fraudulent attributes, such as "Devil Etiquette", which could make him appear to be a demon. Was it that the reward had been changed because he already had the same skill? That didn't make sense either...

Did it want him to secretly observe the Devil of Fraud? Qi Leren laughed in his heart and got rid of this absurd idea.

After walking for half an hour he did some stretching exercises, and Qi Leren felt that his physical condition had improved a lot. At least normal running and jumping were no problem. He drank some water, ate some easily digestible food, and equipped skill cards in the card slots: S/L Data, Rain-Day Laundry, Primary Fighting Skills, and he took his dagger out, then walked to the entrance of the Garden of the Holy Tomb.

With his body passed through the thin layer of the enchantment, Qi Leren came out of the Garden of the Holy Tomb.

The whole Holy City was as quiet as a grave. Qi Leren looked around warily and found that there was really no one there. After the Holy Nun’s field was broken, the residents here had already left the city.

That's right, the Holy See couldn't invest a lot of manpower here. For safety reasons, the residents here should also be evacuated. Maybe there were demons wandering in the city...

After thinking about it, Qi Leren changed the skill card of "Primary Fighting Skills" and equipped "Devil Etiquette". The last task had left a lot of succubus crystals, which was convenient for him now. Just consuming a demon crystal could make him pretend to be the demon type to which this crystal belonged for 3 hours. Unfortunately, it was only a shell. If you started to act fully, it would easily be seen through because you didn't have the talent abilities of this kind of demon.

Qi Leren, who had turned into a succubus, walked forward quickly and heard something moving in front of him before went far. Two lower demons were hurriedly running down the stairs of the former site of the Vatican and saw this succubus standing in the middle of the road, looking at them with a smile. The two lower demons looked at each other and hesitated on whether to approach.

There was a strict hierarchy between demons and devils. Once the higher devils released their powers, the lower demons had no resistance. Higher devils often didn't regard the lower demons as their own kind, and cannibalism was a part of the ecology of the underworld.

Therefore, the hesitant attitude of these two lower demons was very strange in Qi Leren’s eyes.

He decided to give it a try.

"What’s happening up there?" the succubus asked in a lazy tone.

"Answering this lord, the Witch of Desperation and the Devil of Suspicion are facing each other and it appears that they’re going to fight." Because they can't figure out which side of the succubus in front of them, the two lower demons have to bow their heads and show deference, so as to avoid not giving him face. Subordinates of the old Devil had often experienced tragedy by not showing courtesy to the Devil of Power.

"Oh? The two Lords are so angry," the succubus said with a smile.

Qi Leren's brain turned very fast. He didn't know what kind of creatures the Devil of Suspicion and Witch of Desperation were. The factions between demons were very complicated. He only had a little foundation thanks to the help of the Court. Demons, such as the Witch of Jealousy, who could clearly possess a kind of original power, were definitely higher devils.

The Devil of Suspicion sounded related to the attribute of "fraud", and he was probably the Devil of Fraud’s men. The orientation of the Witch of Desperation was not easy to judge, but since she would appear here, she must have her reasons... If the two sides were facing each other, she should be in opposition to the Devil of Fraud?

Who would it be? One of Power’s men? No, the Devil Kings of Fraud and Power were not antagonistic. The Devil of Slaughter? It was possible, but the Devil of Slaughter had been missing for a long time and no branch of Slaughter Secret Society, no matter which one, could contact it.

There was another possibility.

Qi Leren narrowed his eyes and made a bold guess that this Witch of Desperation was under the hand of the old Devil.

Although the old Devil has been killed by the Holy Nun, his subordinates were still active in the underworld. It made sense to come for the old Devil at this time.

Two lower demons looked at the succubus with trepidation. They didn't know which side he was from and didn't dare to leave.

The succubus suddenly chuckled and waved at them: "Come on, get out of my way."

The lower demons ran away as if freed and Qi Leren put away his demon form, judged his acting skills, and secretly gave himself a compliment. It was fortunate that he’d put on a disguise in time, otherwise he would have had to fight first which might have disturbed the two great devils above. It was really a situation that the S/L solution couldn't save him from.

Qi Leren wasn’t sure how much these higher devils could perceive. Although it will not be exaggerated for them to cover the entire site of the Vatican, they might be alarmed if he got too close.

However, he has this skill card of "Secretly Observing", which was tantamount to a timely rain. Qi Leren was hooked up and felt that his lucky value seemed to have increased after resurrection.

Go up the mountain first, wait until you get close to the two opposing devils, then hide yourself with your skill card and sneak into the church.

Having made up his mind, Qi Leren walked up quickly. When he reached halfway up the mountain, the top of the mountain was full of wind and rain, and the earth shook. Countless bats flew in the heavy rain, almost covering the sky with solid black. Qi Leren nearly fell down the stairs because of the sudden earthquake. When he looked up suddenly, he saw a huge hole emerging in the sky and lava poured down. Bats sent out the piercing shrieks, as if they were ignited by the lava, burning into a fire cloud in the sky.

This terrible war situation made Qi Leren's heart more pressed, and he almost hesitated whether he wanted to venture into the church at this time.

But Maria's words made him very concerned. His intuition was that this was a very important clue. If you miss it, maybe...

Anyway, I've already died once, and it won't be more difficult than when I faced the Devil of Fraud. After a pause, Qi Leren changed [Rain-Day Laundry] to [Secretly Observing]. At the moment of activation he felt as if his body was engulfed in heavy rain, and the fighting sound in the distance were much clearer than before. When he looked far away, he could even see two figures fighting in midair.

The Witch of Desperation dressed in a black cloak drew a circle and the bats ignited by lava instantly broke free from the flames and returned to her side, pressing into a large group. Her voice was hoarse and tired, and it could be faintly heard in the decreasing rainstorm: "I originally thought that you would continue to wander freely in the demon world, looking for your ‘art’, but I didn't expect you to take refuge in the Devil of Fraud."

The Devil of Suspicion smiled and touched the two carefully trimmed moustaches on his lips. He looked much more energetic than the Witch of Desperation, who was a mess. If he didn't know this devil’s identity, he would say he looked like an artist.

"Isn't it our demonic nature to submit to greater power?" the Devil of Suspicion asked.

"Oh? However, in terms of their source of power, the Devil of Fraud is not as good as Power and Slaughter," the Witch of Desperation said.

The Devil of Suspicion smiled politely: "Is the original power of the Devastator strong enough? Isn't he eversleeping in this church? His power is only a fragment, and those who use this power are the real key."

The Witch of Desperation's empty eyes revealed faint sadness. When the old Devil was still alive, she had the blessing of destructive power. She was far stronger than the Devil of Suspicion. However, with the death of the old Devil, the power of "destruction" had become weak, and the original power of "despair" also declined.

This group of the old Devil’s subordinates had already given up, and when a unless new Devil of Destruction was born they could only gradually weaken.

Until a week ago, when they suddenly felt the new destructive power far away from the underworld.

It was like a meteor, and the light of destruction flashing in the underworld showed them hope that Destruction would never be destroyed, and he would eventually come back!

The short-term recovery of the "destructive" power also made Power and Fraud feel threatened, so the Devil of Suspicion was sent to investigate and he happened to meet the Witch of Desperation who had also come.

"So your Lord is willing to be loyal to that Power lunatic? I heard that he’s handed over 'one third of authority' to Power? But without the last thing, Power can never be crowned." When it came to the "one-third of the authority", a hatred emerged in the Witch of Desperation’s heart, as it was the devil crystal of the Lord of Destruction. Even if it was only one-third, it was strong enough. This group of demon subordinates to the Lord of Destruction had only survived by one-third of a demon crystal left by him, and one-third was still missing. Once all fell into the hands of the Devil of Power and she then found 'that thing', it will not be too far away from the day when she became king of the underworld.

The Devil of Suspicion, who was full of confidence in the Devil of Fraud, smiled and said, "It's up to your Lord to decide everything. Now what we want to 'discuss' is whether you disappear from my eyes or I send you to disappear forever."

The Witch of Desperation smiled coldly: "It depends on which side’s reinforcements come faster."

The two people fighting in midair didn't notice. Under the cover of trees and skill cards, a human actually outweighed their perception and sneaked into the church.

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Editor’s Notes:

There’s some pretty important exposition here and I know I was confused myself when I first read it, so please do let me know if anything is hard to follow and I will explain it as well as I can without spoilers!

One thing to clarify that I don’t think has come up before is that witches and devils (not capitalized unless in a character’s title) are the same form of being, it’s just a distinction of gender. Power is presumably an exception to this simply so that her title matches the other Devil Kings.

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#Welcome to the Nightmare Game #欢迎来到噩梦游戏 #danmei

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gra-sonas · 4 years

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Alex Manes - an essay

Alright, my inbox is bursting with asks, and I’ll get to them (tomorrow, it’s almost midnight D: ), but I’ve been thinking about this all day while trying to work (had to get up and angrily pace my flat several times), and I had to write it all down to get it off my chest. (Also, I’m sorry, but once again Tumblr won’t let me add a Read More, after two attempts at creating new posts with a Read More, I’m giving up 🙈)

As viewers, we’ve been introduced to two different versions of Alex.

Alex at 17

wears mostly black

puts on nail polish, eyeliner and jewellery, including a stud earring and a septum piercing

loves skateboarding

plays the guitar

works at the UFO Emporium

his mom, a Native American woman from a New Mexican tribe left the family when he was younger

has 3 brothers, presumably they’re all older than Alex

Alex at 27/28

a soldier, he’s been in the Air Force for a decade

a decorated purple heart airman with three deployments under his belt

an amputee, he lost part of his right leg in an attack in Iraq, sometimes uses a crutch

a codebreaker who's hacked into Russian and Chinese intelligence

a man who still dips fries into his milkshake

the nail polish, spiky hair, piercings and jewellery are gone

Alex wears fatigues occasionally, his civil clothes are mostly neutral colored shirts/jeans (until The Leather Jacket™ in 1x13)

we don’t know whether he still plays the guitar

his brothers are also all military, Flint (~2 years older than Alex) is a Special Forces Weapons Sergeant with the US Army

Quotes from/about Alex’s youth (incl. Jesse’s abuse)

1x01, Alex: "We're not kids anymore. What I want doesn't matter.“

✧→ 17 year old Alex hoped to escape his father one day, he dreamt of making music. His hopes were shattered that day in the toolshed, and Alex hasn’t allowed himself to go for what he wants since then - including Michael.

1x02, Alex: “Made me think about... I don't know, who I was when this started. Before I went to war.”

1x05, Kyle: “Do you remember that night your dad made us set up that tent to teach us extreme weather survival?” Alex: “Yeah. Your dad had driven home for the night, so mine concocted a brand-new form of kiddie torture.”

1x05, Alex: “My dad was a homophobic, abusive dick."

1x05: Alex: “The dad I got was a monster. Is a monster.” Kyle: “Because he sent you off to war?” Alex: “My father was my war. And your dad saw it, when we were kids. Do you remember the summer - that we built the tree house?” Kyle: “Yeah.” Alex: “That's the summer that my dad found out I was gay. He knew before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. Jim tried to intervene. But you can't make someone stop hating someone. And my dad hated me.”

✧→ Alex is talking about his father/childhood matter-of-factly, but the language he’s using to describe his childhood allows a glimpse at the hell he went through: torture (through extreme survival trainings), homophobic abuse, his dad is a monster, sent him to war, for years tried beating the gay out of Alex, Jesse hates him. This is not just a homophobic remark his dad made at the dinner table, this informs us about years of violence and abuse Alex endured at the hands of his father.

1x06, Alex: “Things at my house suck.“

✧→ Many teenagers will probably say this at some point while growing up, this isn’t about Alex being upset about a curfew, or having to do his homework tho. This is as much as Alex will disclose about the ongoing abuse.

1x06: Alex: “Dad, this has nothing to do with you.“ Jesse: “Everything you do... everything. And I will not be humiliated.“

✧→ This is Alex, terrified of what his dad might do. And he knows that Jesse will do something (he’s already picked up the hammer). Alex expects violence, because that’s what his dad has done to him numerous times. 😔

1x07, Mimi: "You look like your dad today." Alex: "Oh, good. I was hoping that the rage face might skip a generation."

1x08, Alex: “I've been looking for leverage my entire life.“

✧→ “My entire life”, a clear indication that having Jesse as a dad’s never been a walk in the park, Alex just got the special ‘anti gay’ treatment as a bonus when he got older.

1x08, Alex: “When I was...- I wanted to make music. You sent me to war.“

✧→ Alex at 17 wanted to make music, and although he never says it, I think it’s implied that he never planned to join the military. Jesse didn’t give him a choice though, he made Alex enlist, probably threatening him with what he’d do to Michael if Alex didn’t do as he was told.

1x08, Alex: "Why are you trying to frame Michael? Haven't you done enough to him?"

1x08, Alex: "Do not talk to me about unprovoked violence!"

1x09, Michael: "And what do you want to say, Alex?” Alex: That I loved you. And I think that you loved me. For a long time.” Michael: “Yeah.” Alex: "But we didn't even know each other that well, did we? I mean, we just, we-we connected, - like something… -“ Michael: “Cosmic.” Alex: "Yeah, but we didn't even do that much talking."

1x10, Alex: "My dad is a bigot with no moral compass."

1x12, Flint (to Alex): "You ever get tired of being the black sheep of the family?"

1x13, Alex: "Look... I shouldn't have left you behind when I enlisted. I could... I could stand here and tell you that I didn't want to leave, but I did. After what my dad did to you, I just, I... I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. But now I-I look in the mirror, and I-I don't even see myself sometimes. I see my father. I'm still fighting his battles. Not mine."

✧→ It’s kinda implied that Alex never wanted to enlist, but once Jesse forced him to do it, he tried to make the most of it. He wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. He was also looking for leverage, something he could use to take his dad down.

✧→ Alex at 17 wanted to get out, he wanted to make music and live life his way. Since Jesse was going to beat him for being gay anyway, he’d at least wear what he wanted, put on make up, and wear jewellery. Jesse hadn’t manage to break Alex.

✧→ The shed incident changed everything, because someone else got hurt. And from Alex’s POV it was because of Alex. Because he’d been selfish. He’d wanted Michael. And because of that Michael got injured.

Now that we’ve established the basics, onto Carina’s statement.

“Alex was too ashamed of Michael (not of being gay, which Maria knew, but of michael specifically) to name him to Maria for 10 years - until he saw Maria as a threat.” [x]

✧→ At 17, we saw how much Alex cared about Michael, that he wanted him safe and warm bc nights twere too cold to sleep in the car. That’s why Alex offered Michael to stay in the shed. He liked Michael, and he wanted to spend time with him. He even brought Michael a guitar bc he thought Michael would like to play. None of Alex’s behavior gives any indication that he was ashamed of Michael before the shed incident.

✧→ 17 year old Alex was afraid of his father, no surprise after years of abuse, but he also seemed confident, defiant even, believing he could handle it for a little bit longer until he’d finished high school and would finally be able to leave to make music. Despite living under Jesse’s roof, he dressed in all black, openly wore make up, nail polish, and jewellery/piercings, refusing to be another picture perfect son of his military father. We didn’t see it on screen, but given Jesse’s homophobic views, Alex’s behavior very likely caused his father to punish him in some way for it.

✧→ Then Michael kissed Alex at the UFO Emporium, Alex kissed back, one thing lead to another and they ended up at the shed where they had sex for the first time. It was Michael’s first time with a guy, we don’t know whether it was Alex’s first time tho. Alex still didn’t show any signs of being ashamed of Michael.

They were SO in love and happy in that moment. 🥺

✧→ When Jesse and the hammer happened, and it changed everything. Up until that moment, Alex had been used to his father’s abuse, he’d been strong enough, he’d been convinced he could take it, but this time someone else got badly hurt, and I think that broke something in Alex.

✧→ We never saw how things played out for Alex after Michael left the shed, all we know is that Jesse made Alex enlist. And given Jesse’s preference for blackmailing (he blackmailed Jenna, and Alex asked Flint what Jesse had on him) it’s probably fair to assume that Jesse threatened to go after Michael should Alex not do as he says.

Alex didn’t tell Maria for a decade because he was ashamed of Michael (at 17)?

Say what now???

There are several good reasons why Alex wouldn’t have told her, but shame isn’t one of them... I’m sure Alex thought of Maria as a trustworthy friend back then, but the most important reason why he wouldn’t reveal who ‘museum guy’ was would be the one the straight showrunner of the show’s apparently not aware of:

Alex would’ve outed Michael (without Michael’s consent I’d like to add) to Maria by telling her who it was. As a gay kid in 2008, I’m sure Alex was very well aware of LGBTQ etiquette, and the first rule of queer club is, you don’t out a fellow queer. And guess who’d just experience a brutal attack because he’s queer? Why would Alex ever consider outing Michael and potentially putting him at risk???

The outing reason alone would be enough to explain why Alex never told her who it was. And in 1x10 he didn’t outright out Michael either, Maria realized it was Guerin and Alex reluctantly confirmed (there was no way for him to plausibly deny it).

1x10, Alex: “It is just a standard, run-of-the-mill boy problem. Oh, come on. Don't give me psychic face, Maria.” Maria: “It's the guy from the museum, the one that kissed you into crazy stupid love when we were kids. He's back?” Alex: “Wha... How-how do you do that?” Maria: “You're just... I feel it, you're-you're hopeful, like you were before. Who is he? Come on, spill it. I've been waiting ten years for this. - Come on.” Alex: “You... you wouldn't believe it.” Maria: “It's not like you're hooking up with Wyatt Long or Michael Guerin or something. Geez. Please tell me you're in love with Wyatt Long. Wow.” Alex: “Michael's not so bad after a shower. But you know that.” Maria: “I had no idea...” Alex: “I know. I mean, how would you?” Maria: “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder."

Another reason why Alex wouldn’t necessarily have told Maria: Alex was traumatized by what happened at the shed. This wasn’t just the ‘normal’ kind of abuse he endured on the regular (which is a boatload of trauma all of its own), someone else had been hurt, someone Alex liked, and because Alex liked him. On top of that Jesse likely threatened him. There’s no way Alex wasn’t scared and deeply traumatized. It’s fairly common that victims of abuse don’t tell anyone about it, out of fear even more bad things could happen, there’s surely also a lot of shame and self-blaming involved.

Alex also knew that Michael was homeless, and probably not yet of age. Jesse could’ve threatened Alex to put Michael back into the system or whatnot.

Absolutely NOTHING we’ve seen on screen suggests that Alex was ashamed of Michael when they were 17. Alex joined the military afterwards, and was away for a decade. Not many opportunities to talk about it to Maria, but again, the first reason (outing Michael) is a perfectly valid reason not to tell her for an entire decade. And this being a major trauma, Alex probably didn’t feel like opening that box again after such a long time.

And wow, claiming that Alex waited to tell Maria (which isn’t exactly what happened) because she felt threatened by her? Sure, Alex just waited for the right moment. 🙄

Is Alex ashamed of Michael at 27/28?

In 1x03 it seems like Alex let’s his father’s words get to him. “Seems to me the only one you're embarrassing is yourself, son.“ I’ve always interpreted this as a thinly veiled threat tho, and Alex, on instinct, immediately put distance between himself and Michael. Because before he talked to his father? Alex was perfectly happy to be seen with Michael, if he'd been ashamed, as Carina claims, he wouldn’t have approached Michael in public in the first place.

This is also how I read the scene in 1x02: “What happened at the reunion cannot happen again.“ In the pilot, Jesse had been part of the group of soldiers poking around Michael’s Airstream, and Alex saw the way his father looked at them talking. Then they kissed at the reunion, and I’m sure it felt so good and like coming home, but the fear of what Jesse could do if he found out was back the next morning, and Alex once more tried to put distance between himself and Michael to keep Michael save.

This is not an excuse for Alex pushing Michael away, not an excuse for Alex to call him a criminal either. That is absolutely shitty behavior and not okay. I just don’t buy this ‘Alex is ashamed of Michael’ shtick.

Friendly reminder that Maria did not only tell Alex in 1x10 “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder.", here’s what she said in her next scene with Guerin:

1x10, Maria: “We're closed. - You found my necklace.” Michael: “Clasp broke. I fixed it. I think it calls for a celebration. And by celebration, I mean booze, preferably the free kind.” Maria: “Alex is one of my best friends.” Michael: “Congrats.” Maria: “I never would have slept with you if I knew you two had history. It can't happen again.”

So in 1x10 Maria

learned Michael is 'museum guy’

realized that Alex is in love with Michael (still), and hopeful

swore to Alex it was a one time thing and that it meant nothing

told Michael that Alex is one of her best friends (and you don’t go after your best friends’ love interests)

she would’ve never slept with Michael had she known

she also says it can’t happen again

And yet Carina’s surprised why many few fans don’t understand

what made Maria ignore Liz’s advice to talk to Alex (which would’ve been the fair thing to do, no one’s mad at Maria for catching feelings, it’s that she acted on them without talking to Alex first what upsets and angers people)

why Maria invited Michael to kiss her just 3 episodes later

why she’s still chasing after Michael 2 weeks later without having talked to Alex

she’ll continue to go after Michael but still won’t talk to Alex

and therefore some are having a hard time not to dislike Maria to some degree? Okay...

Either way, imo Alex was definitely not ashamed of Michael at 17, and I don’t see much evidence of him being ashamed of Michael at 27/28.

Apart from that, shame is for sure NOT the reason why Alex never told Maria.

Alright, this got LONG, but it I had to write it all down. I think I provided facts in the form of dialogue quotes. In addition, I’m sharing my interpretation of these facts.

I don’t claim that I’m right, I don’t claim that I know more than Carina (who seems to have forgotten some things she herself wrote tho), none of that. This is my interpretation of what happened, based on what we saw on screen, what’s been said by the characters, and what we know about the different characters involved.

I also don’t claim that Alex didn’t do anything wrong, that he’s a saint, or whatnot. But I strongly disagree with the notion that by not telling Maria Alex is somehow to blame for her going after Michael.

#alex manes #malex #michael guerin #long post is long #my apologies for the missing read more #i tried but tumblr wouldn't let me #🙈#rnm opinions #the alex essay

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roswelldetails · 4 years

Text

RNM 2x06 - Sex and Candy

EPISODE SUMMARY:

Maria’s (Heather Hemmens) investigation into her mother’s disappearance leads her and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) to the home of a mysterious boot maker named Travis (guest star David Anders). Meanwhile, on her journey of self-discovery, Isobel’s (Lily Cowles) night out leads her into the arms of someone unexpected. Finally, after making some major scientific strides, Liz (Jeanine Mason) is dealt a devastating blow. Geoff Shotz directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingrao (#206). Original airdate 4/20/2020.

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel's fight:

Lights start flickering when Max starts getting aggressive and then get brighter as he gets more worked up.

The first attempt to expel it seemed like he was causing an earthquake. He blew out all the windows in the gym, knocked Isobel down, and there was shaking. But it didn't seem to go beyond that room - no damage is seen when Michael arrives or around town.

Note, after the earthquake thingie the lights go out

His hands are doing the electric power thingie and THEN he also grabs the lightning.

I think Isobel used her telekinesis to stop it and then push it away, which seemed to work...but if so then why couldn't Noah do that last season?

Was it the sheer volume of electricity? There was definitely MORE than with Noah.

Michael uses his telekinesis to manually reset Max's heart. This is very smart of him. Note that he's using his own heart/pulse to get it right.

They are using the antidote to Liz's serum to try to heal Max's mind.

Michael says that they've been giving him antidote injections for three days (time jump).

Three days of antidote and no new memories for Max.

Isobel remembered her blackouts within a few hours of getting injected with the antidote in 1x10.

Note: Liz hesitated using the antidote this way in 1x10 because Isobel could still be dangerous and they didn't know about the 4th Alien yet. There doesn't seem to be a similar hesitation with Max. Because Liz trusts him more? Because him forgetting her is more personal? It's not like there isn't a chance that Max is still dangerous…

Maria arranged a Mexican market in the Pony parking lot to subsidize her income.

Buffy the Beagle is Forrest's dog!

Maria comments that the meteor shower makes animals act strange. And humans too.

Forrest and Maria are organizing an open night mic at the Wild Pony. Free drinks for performers.

Maria clearly approves of Forrest and Alex getting to know each other. She smacks Alex for his awkward flirting.

The bootmaker's farm is about an hour outside of town.

The Science:

Kyle and Steph are watching a "surgical separation of craniopagus twins".

Craniopagus Twins = twins attached at the cranium/head. (Aka not a heart surgery).

"Did you know, ever since 1947, twin births in Roswell are higher than the national average? Maybe it's aliens."

Speaking of awkward flirting…. "You're just my favorite person I can't stand."

The Spanish:

Le cambio una bolsa de chiles para mi papá...for the free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Liz is bartering. She says basically, I'll trade you a bag of chiles for my papa for free fries next time you come to the Crashdown.

Note, the captions for this are wrong and use the Spanish word for grasshoppers instead, but you can clearly hear Liz say chiles. Thanks to @rosaortecho for pointing that out to me.

Max says:

I'm trying to eat clean. Uh, tiene carne seca sin como se dice, preservativos.

He's trying to say, basically, does the jerky have preservatives.

Quiere carne a sin preservativos?

Basically, you want meat without condoms?

Lo siento. Uh, no lo entiendo.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Él quiere decir conservantes.

He means preservatives.

Gracias. Estoy embarazado.

Thank you. I'm pregnant.

Michael asks Max who he's texting. Max says everyone has been messaging him but Cameron is the only one who hasn't responded, which isn't like her.

Wildly curious who he was texting though. It's not like he's a social butterfly. His mom? The sheriff? Who? As I pointed out to some friends the other day, he spent his 21st birthday getting trashed with his SISTER. This is not a trait of a guy with lots of close friends.

Just as another note, Michael says he ghosted her. When exactly was that? Yes, Max ran out on her in the middle of a handy in 1x03, but they addressed that the next day. She "broke up" with him in 1x07, but they were still good right up until she left town.

Isobel:

"Does he seem different to you?"

Alex and Maria playing "Never have I Ever" in the car. Good way to do background on characters.

Maria has never cheated on a boyfriend

Alex has never been in a real relationship. Not even "Kellie Sommer-something".

Alex says that whenever he was with a woman he was trying to disappear. Except for Sophomore year after Battle of the Bands. Seven Minutes in Heaven in Haley Moore's hall closet. Alex and Maria kissed and it was Maria's first kiss (and boob graze). She always thought she'd marry Alex. Had to come up with a new plan after he came out.

Alex says "I did too."

"Kissing you in that closet was the first time in my life that I enjoyed touching someone."

Max picks up Liz for their first date…

Just as a note, Save Tonight was the opening song in the pilot of OG Roswell. During the "oh, Max Evans is staring at you again." exchange between Liz and Maria. So, it might go well with new beginnings or something ;-)

The Science:

"Psychogenic amnesia limits retrieval of stored memories, but if we light up your limbic system and gustatory cortex with some familiar signals…"

"Your milkshake might bring all my memories to the yard?"

**Note, second reference to this song in the context of Liz bringing Max milkshakes. First was in 1x06 by Isobel. Hmm. 1x06 and 2x06… maybe they should crack this joke in 3x06 too.

"Sometimes when people wake up from comas they have different personalities, different tastes even…"

Everything you ever wanted to know about psychogenic amnesia:

But, my main takeaway is that it's a specific type of amnesia where there's abnormal memory function but no brain damage or other clear cause of it.

Limbic system:

Basically the part of your brain that stores emotion, behavior, and long term memory.

Gustatory cortex:

Basically the part of your brain that processes taste.

Maria compares Michael to Chad because he starts fights and lies. Alex disagrees and lists ways that he was doing good things:

He lied to protect his family from Alex's family.

He shouldered the burden of a murder he didn't commit for ten years so that Isobel didn't have to.

He pushed Maria away to protect her - which might be a good thing too because of all his baggage.

First Date:

Max went to Ranch camp one summer and dislocated his shoulder while trying to read Lord of the Rings on horseback. #nerd.

Liz references the gala as not their first date, but there was also the desert in high school. I guess she doesn't count that either.

Side note: Cam and Liz talked about him peacocking in 2x03, but that kinda felt out of character at the time to the Max we knew. This Max DOES seem like he's peacocking a bit. Got dressed up, taking Liz horseback riding. He admitted to trying to one up whatever they did together before. Just an interesting (to me) observation.

Liz looks panicky when Max suggests truth serum (because Science!Liz probably could make truth serum), but once she realizes he means whiskey she's like, "oh yes, that's fine." Oh Liz…

Diego details:

They were engaged just last year

Liz left without saying goodbye

Bioengineer

They were working together on the Denver study

They would come home and keep talking about work

He had ideas to help improve it

They both spoke The Science

He pushed her to get better at The Science

When the funding was cut she realized she loved the work more than him

Liz couldn't figure out how tell him that so she packed her things in the middle of the night, hit the road, changed her phone, and blocked him on Facebook.

**This is the first time LIZ has mentioned social media. Interesting given the crap Maria keeps giving her about it!

Travis and fresh warm milk. What is up with it??

"Nice ring. Does it keep you from burning up in the daylight?"

David Anders introduces himself as Travis.

Just as a point of interest, Maria researched enough to find the bootmaker, figure out where he lives, but she didn't get his name???

Vampire Diaries/Originals reference.

Travis says he can't help with car stuff.

The milk was from a cow named Jennifer. He milked her for the last time today. (Creepy).

Weird contradictory statements from Travis:

"You're the best thing I've seen in a long time."....

"Mm, I'm sorry. So many customers and all their ugly faces get all sewn up and stitched together in my mind."

"Yeah, that's the woman that bought them boots. While back. Nice lady. She paid cash."

Second reference to animals behaving strangely during a meteor shower:

"Meteor shower's got my girls singing a bit off key tonight. Jennifer, she likes a good lullaby."

"Okay this guy is going to turn us into skin suits." (OG reference? Or just general sci-fi?)

Meteorchella at Planet 7 (Coachella-style party during meteor shower?) with any excuse to add sparkles!

Kyle says he's at Planet 7 because he's trying not to hang out with people from high school.

Isobel says she's trying to have fun without feeling like prey.

Don't think the details of Kyle/Isobel dancing matters all that much, but as a point of amusement I'll share that in the panel on Tuesday night they shared that Lily whispered something different to Trevino on every take...And they got progressively dirtier to the point that she finally felt like she crossed a line and profusely apologized. Also the lick was a Lily addition.

Max's confession about killing the drifter:

Kind of an interesting thing, comparing the first version of the drifter story in 1x06 to the 2x06 version. 1x06 was more dramatic, but 2x06 was more personal, I think.

1x06

"There are moments that define our lives, and there are moments that divide our lives. Incidents that separate us into two different people: who we were before and who we will be after. Forever…One day we were children and the next we were something else. I was a killer. Michael an accomplice. And Isobel...Isobel was broken."

2x06

"I killed a man once, on a camping trip. This drifter came out of nowhere, attacked Isobel. I wasn't even thinking. I killed him. With this. I arrest people who kill people. Most of them usually regret what they did. You know, you can just tell that they're forever broken. It's like a piece of them dies with their victims. So when I could feel that darkness, like I had to kill, I wanted Isobel to let me die. Because I couldn't risk hurting even one innocent person. Cause life just wouldn't be worth living."

Kind of an interesting narrative choice to confess to murder on a first date and then have the girl just brush it aside.

"No, it just hit me why you're so happy and idealistic, and I feel like an idiot. You are that way because you don't remember me. It's a clean slate. It's like when you got out of the pods with whatever memories you had erased it's probably for your own good."

"Last I heard you were the love of my life."

"Your cohorts, they left out some details. Cause if you had your memories I'm positive the worst thing that's ever happened to you is connected to me. And I can't bear the weight of making you remember that again."

**Note, second time this has been implied. Last time was by Michael in 1x08 regarding the alien symbol.

"...it's gotta have some connection to us right? Maybe it was something we saw somewhere before the crash."

"Sorry, are you, Max Evans, acknowledging that we must have had lives before we hatched out of the pods? You never want to talk about home."

"Hey, Roswell is home. Look, I'm sorry man. You're right. I've spent a lot of time not talking about where we come from or why we're here. Keep thinking I can pretend the past away and just be normal. But if Isobel's blackouts are some alien thing, then I need to know more. Okay, and this symbol? That's all I have to go on. I mean don't you think it's strange that we don't have any memories? I mean, no parents, no language. We weren't infants, man. We were seven."

"I just figured our memory faded. Over 50 years in those pods. Maybe it was just time. Or maybe whoever put us in those pods doesn't want us to remember."

Travis and Trevor's house...with added bonus of his ring that Alex comments on.

Leather ribbons/strips on the wall are for (from?) Hayley and Gertrude. More cows, I presume.

There's also a framed Purple Heart on the wall next to a photo of Travis?

"War really messes with a man's mind. Gets it all twisted up.

Timeline issue!! Alex says Mimi was missing for 3 weeks, but according to the clearly established timelines in 201-203 it was 4 weeks (or a month ish). I wrote about this here:

Maria put her jacket on a scarecrow to trick Travis. And did she leave it there?

(Answer: yes. She doesn't wear it for the rest of the episode. Smart of her, actually).

Michael sees Trevor come out of the house and is about to shoot him. Maria immediate knew it wasn't Travis and threw herself in front of Michael's gun

Trevor shoots Travis.

A bullet from the Crashdown shooting falls out of Max's journal. Does it look like it has blood on it? Or maybe just ketchup? If it's THE bullet it would make a lot of sense that he kept it hidden - evidence that Liz was shot. See this comparison between one of Wyatt's bullets in 1x02 and the one Max finds in 2x06

"Sorry about my twin here. He's had a rough go."

"Combat does not make you an axe murderer."

"No, it wasn't the combat. It was the R&D. If a paramilitary group ever asks you to take part in a study, you run the other way. He showed up a few weeks ago. Locked me up out back. Lucky y'all showed up when you did. Gave me a chance to escape."

R&D is a military acronym for Research and Development. (Aka...The Science.)

Priscilla - the cow Mimi's boots were made from.

This is literally the only direct information gained about the boots from this little sleuthing excursion.

Well, and that Mimi paid cash, which isn't like her.

Side note - I didn't really know what Paramilitary meant, so just in case any of you are also not good with military stuff, Paramilitary groups are like private armies. Like, I dunno, the private security firm that Jesse and Cam discussed in episode 2x04. 👀

Male doctor operating on Steph clearly states:

"All right we're approaching an arterial junction."

A female doctor replies and its less clear. What I hear is...Blood gasses are back? Anyone else hear something that makes more sense than that?

He replied something like...the stint through here

She says something about pH levels.

Max admits that he didn't know what would happen when he decided to bring Rosa back. He just wanted to fix the worst thing that ever happened to all of them.

"I can't believe we were Shyamalan'd by an evil twin."

I think Alex is referring to the twist ending? Or maybe just the insane axe murderer stuff.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote and directed the Sixth Sense, Signs, Split, etc…

During this scene is the first time we see Michael's tattoo… it's on his arm. I struggled with getting a cap of it, but I know there are gifs going around.

I had every intention of detailing the dialogue in the trailer scene, but before I could get to it, Carina posted the script, so I didn't think it was a good use of my time. Here's the script:

The next morning, Alex calls the Sheriff from outside the trailer for an update.

The Sheriff tells him that Travis and Trevor burned their home and ran...weren't caught by the sheriff. Which means we may not have seen the last of them.

The Spanish:

"Oh my God. Dios mio, Max. I took off your pants before I even said I love you. I'm some kind of zorra."

Dios mio basically is Oh My God! So Liz really was spiraling. She went, "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

Zorra - female version of Zorro. Basically a vixen, bitch, prostitute… the internet has all sorts of fun words that it translates into.

"I call this one Visceral Werewolf Part 2, dedicated to my boy Chee Chee, may he rest in peace."

Can we have more Bert? Bert is the best. Also kudos to his goofy friend who is wayyy too excited about this.

Forrest's slam poem:

Locked up for days,

Time slipping away,

On my knees I would pray to break free from this cage.

But bargaining for keys, you forget hidden fees.

And wishing for what you’re missing ain’t the same as living the dream.

And now I’m fighting to stay on this side of the cage.

Even though I know a part of me wishes I’d stayed.

Ain’t no prophet or rebel or savior or devil

Could have predicted, fought, cheated or leveled.

A life with potential that’s squandered,

A comfortable cell is a question I ponder.

Am I a free man or a prisoner wanderer?

Max's memory flash:

Young Max, chained to the ground as described in 2x03.

Max looks scared.

He's dressed all in white like the 1947 aliens after the crash (As shown in 1x12 and 2x03).

He's in a cave or something like a cave.

Holes in the wall are glowing an orangey red color.

The ceiling is like the alien ship material with the alien symbol in it.

A figure approaches from behind him, bends down, and places a hand on his shoulder.

It mirrors the figure approaching Nora in 2x03 and touching her shoulder before burning the military men...probably the same person? Noah? The stowaway? Someone new?

After the figure touches Max, he looks at the hand, and then a red glow lights his face.

MUSIC:

1. Xocoyotzin Herrera "Esperanza"

2. Jose Luis Lepe "La Carreta"

3. Eagle Eye Cherry "Save Tonight"

4. Lousiana Red "I Done Woke Up"

5. Whissell "Magnetic"

6. Stop Dead "Alchemistress Dance"

7. Orville Peck "Turn To Hate"

8. Kim Petras "Close Your Eyes"

9. Orville Peck "Queen Of The Rodeo"

10. Moontricks "The Fall"

11. Years & Years "Hypnotised"

12. Jordan Critz Feat. Birdtalker "Through Your Eyes"

This time I couldn't find the Whissell and Stop Dead tracks on spotify - however the Stop Dead track is referenced at being by Chelsea Dawn in the closed captions. Which I did find. Trying to confirm this. Let me know if anyone else had better luck!

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #rnm spoilers #rnm 206 #sex and candy #episode details #long post

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haloud · 4 years

Text

many times, many ways

a malex christmas gift for christi @michaels-blackhat, who inspired me into holiday fluff and who spent this month writing wonderful gifts--I hope you enjoy this one in return! Happy holidays, everyone!

-- ao3 --

An unmarked package. An envelope, more accurately, hand-folded out of plain brown paper and left right in front of Alex’s front door. Buffy is sniffing at it before Alex can stop her; he snags her by the collar, heart in his throat, but she’s close enough to nudge it with her nose. Alex holds his breath, but she just lets out a soft boof, then loses interest and heads back inside. Alex, however, can’t be quite so cavalier. It may not have exploded when Buffy moved it, but there are ways other than explosives that a strange package can fuck you up. He fetches a pair of gloves and a particle mask before he even touches it. A small gesture toward security, maybe, but it makes him feel safe enough to work a pocketknife under the tape and slowly pull the paper apart.

Alex blinks twice at what’s inside. Pulls his mask off so it falls around his neck and blinks again. Reaches out to touch it.

It’s…a Christmas ornament. But not any, it’s—it’s light in his palm, a tiny thing, a miniature of a poster he had as a kid, the one Maria smuggled into his car after school and he hung up in the toolshed where no one would see it. Alex holds it up. Dangling from a scrap of black ribbon, the little orange rectangle catches the light, gleaming off the black enamel picking out the singer’s little face and the Danger! At the Picture Show lettering. It’s cold when he clenches it in his fist, heart pumping a hundred miles an hour.

For a second, he’s seventeen again, and he has to laugh at the memory of that kid he used to be, earbuds stuffed in his ears, knees jammed up against the desk waiting for the first period bell to ring. He grins despite himself, turning over the paper again, searching for any kind of note or indication who it’s from. Rosa, maybe? Secret presents are definitely her thing, and she was the one who gave him his first DatPS CD when he was fourteen. Maria is the other person who comes to mind, but Alex hopes she would just give it to him in person—he doesn’t like to think of her being too anxious to give him something like this face to face, what with all the mending fences going on.

He smooths his thumb over the ornament’s glossy surface one more time, then puts it on a shelf for safekeeping for lack of anywhere more festive to put it. He doesn’t really decorate for Christmas; the holidays were only ever more of the same when he was a kid, with a thin, grotesque veneer of family over the top of it.

Things get even more festive the next day, though, when he gets home from work and finds another package, in the same brown paper, sitting on the porch steps. It’s bigger this time, three dimensional, and after a moment of deliberation, Alex picks up the phone. Guerin might laugh at him, but that’s a price he has to be willing to pay.

He doesn’t laugh, though. He rolls up in his truck, that, despite the circumstances and the vaguely tipsy feeling of fear lurking in his blood, Alex has to laugh at—there’s a sprig of mistletoe wrapped in bright red ribbon hanging from the rearview mirror.

Michael bounds over to him and says, slightly breathless, “What did you need me to check out?”

Alex waves his hand in the direction of the stairs. “It’s probably nothing. I got something similar yesterday, and it was fine, I just—”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, I get it. Here, let me.” Michael squeezes Alex’s shoulder, a quick, warm, reassuring touch, then takes a step back. Focusing, he narrows his eyes at the little package, then wings it in an arc off into the empty desert.

A second passes. Nothing blows up. Michael pulls the package back in.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he says, “Sorry if whatever’s in there broke. But whoever sent it to you should have known better. Fucking idiot.”

Alex lets out a long breath, forcing his shoulders to drop and his brow to smooth. “No, it’s okay. ‘Tis the season, right? It could be from anyone.”

“Still.” Michael’s mouth curls downward, like he tastes something foul, like he tends to look whenever he tries to make nice with Kyle. It’s exasperating. It’s also a little sweet, in a twisted way.

The box has the same wrapping, same tape job as yesterday’s envelope. It comes apart easily, and inside is—Alex pulls it out, holds it up.

It’s. It’s an alien, full-on little green man alien, holding up its noodly little hands in two peace signs. Wearing a Santa hat. Covered in gaudy glitter. And still intact—only one piece has snapped off, a little piece of red molding clay that someone clearly fashioned so an ornament hook could go through it.

After a shocked second, Alex lets out a very uncharacteristic giggle; then, face burning, he drops the little alien back into the box and glances up at Michael, who’s watching him with his head tilted and a shy smile of his own on his pink mouth.

Their eyes meet for a long, breath-catching moment, a spark jumping through the cold, dry air from one body to the next. Then they both look away, clearing throats, shoving hands in pockets, and looking up at the sky instead of back at each other, each of them so large in the other’s sight to block out the sun.

“Secret Santa?” Michael says, voice cheerfully flippant. He’s still grinning somehow. Alex wants to wipe that look off his face. With his own face.

“Something like that.”

“Next time try to get someone who knows you better than to get that touristy shit.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Michael leaves after that, making it both easier and harder to breathe. Touristy shit aside, Alex puts the Santa alien on the shelf beside the first ornament, and later that night, after tossing and turning for a little while, he grabs his crutches, goes to the shelf, gropes in Jim’s old toolbox for a tube of superglue, and hunches over the coffee table to fix the clay part, making it an ornament once again.

One is an event. Two is a coincidence. Three ornaments in three days, and it’s a pattern.

No brown paper package shows up the third day; rather, he finds the ornament when he checks his mailbox in town. It’s a little laptop this time, nothing special, but it still brings a smile to his face when he holds it in his palm.

Who could the mystery sender be? It turns into something of an obsession over the next few days, which see him receiving a log cabin, a beagle, and a beautiful handmade silver and turquoise songbird. It’s clearly someone who knows him now, and someone who knows him well enough to know his home, his pet, what he does for a living…it’s a narrow field, to be sure—basically just Maria, Liz, Kyle, or Rosa. He rubs his thumb over the beagle’s little painted nose while Buffy shoots it a suspicious look from the couch as he considers his options.

Whoever it is, Guerin must know, because since the second day, the ornaments have arrived in his mailbox or on his porch unwrapped or in clear plastic wrap if it’s raining out.

Of course, all the evidence could point toward it being Guerin himself. But…somehow, Alex can’t bring himself to believe it, if only because the thought of Michael thinking of him like this, over time, with dedication, makes Alex’s chest ache with longing to see him, to hear him, to feel him. Better it be some scheme of Rosa’s. It’s just…better that way.

The gifts keep coming. Day seven, it’s the Air Force crest; on the eighth and ninth days, he finds a sunbathing alien and a bowl of ramen on his front step. They both go on the increasingly-crowded shelf, though he shoots the ramen a nasty look when he puts it in place. Another point in the Maria column, considering last time he went to one of her movie nights, he was asked to put pizza rolls in the oven and managed to burn them despite absolutely following the instructions on the package.

The tenth day’s ornament arrives in a blue Tupperware container, just translucent enough to see the ornament inside, but not so much he can tell what it is.

He opens it and finds a ball ornament wrapped in strips of paper cut from dictionaries in ten languages he can identify, including all six he speaks. It’s sturdy papier-mâché, but Alex still holds it like it might shatter if he breathes on it too hard. Every line defines things like family, like love, like forever. He returns it to its box and puts it on the shelf with the others, but his fingers linger over the lid, because there are lines he hasn’t traced with his fingertips yet, and he can hardly tear himself away.

He goes into town later that day on a grocery run with words still swimming in his mind and his mouth fixed shut because he’s not sure what might come out. But no level of distraction or concentration could keep him from being blindsided when he runs into Guerin outside the Crashdown, their bodies catching shoulder to shoulder, Guerin’s hand on his arm to steady him—their collision almost knocked a big box out of Guerin’s hands, but he steadies it with a little help from his powers until Alex has his balance back and he can take it in both hands again.

“Alex,” he breathes, then clears his throat. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” Alex manages.

Guerin shakes the box lightly. “Liz wants to surprise Arturo with the decorations this year, so I figured I’d offer my services. I’m the only one who can get tinsel into all the hard-to-reach places, after all.”

“Oh, that’s—that’s really nice.”

“Nah, I’m getting paid. Mostly in milkshakes and fries, but who’s complaining?”

They stare across the box. It’s been like this, lately, a small talk stiffness to their interactions, and Alex doesn’t know how to make it stop. But at the same time, he isn’t sure he wants to. It’s almost…nice. A couple weeks ago Alex drove by the junkyard just because he could, and Michael smelled like snow and pine and commented on the weather, and that brief exchange left the both of them grinning like idiots by the time Alex drove away. They aren’t lovers again, not yet. But they’re something. They’re getting there.

“Want some help? I’m free tonight,” Alex says, and Michael smiles at him, and that’s that. Alex comes back late, once the Crashdown is closed and Arturo is in bed. Liz and Rosa come downstairs to work on the decorations too, and more hands makes for light work, though Michael does most of the work without using his hands at all. They’re finished in no time. Alex plugs the lights in, flips the switch, and Rosa laughs, real and unrestrained and tugging Liz into the middle of the floor, dotted with multicolored puddles of light, twirling her in a circle. Sometime during the decorating, Rosa managed to stick Michael with a present ribbon, and it bobbles on top of his curls as he slinks over to Michael’s side to knock their shoulders together. Alex lets him, in the spirit of the season, and because every time Michael touches him his body goes weightless.

Now is as good a time to ask as any.

“So, Guerin,” he says, “I’m still getting ornaments every day. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that you haven’t told me, would you?”

Michael shrugs and grins that cowboy grin. “Looks to me like you’ve got yourself a secret admirer.”

“Secret, huh?”

“Looks that way.”

And before Alex can say another word, Michael is walking away to join Liz and Rosa dancing, whistling Let It Snow. He gets away from Alex that time, but before their little impromptu party is over, Alex manages to steal the bow from his hair, just glancing his fingers off those curls, so lightly Guerin doesn’t even seem to notice.

Whether he’s the ornament giver or not, Alex puts the bow on the shelf with the others. Just in case.

The next day, there’s no ornament when he leaves in the morning, and nothing in his mailbox when he checks it that evening, either. He’s—frustrated, okay, rather than sad, because what was the point? Stopping ten days in, what was even the point? It leaves him feeling untethered, without that tiny little thing to look forward to each and every day. Somehow, without even really noticing, he’d kind of gotten into the Christmas spirit. He even, feeling ridiculous the entire time, went to the pet store and bought a couple gifts for his dog, because he’s in a gift-giving mood even if he’s not sure he’s exchanging gifts with anyone else this year.

He shoulders his way out of the office, avoiding eye contact with the clerk, who’s surely noticed him coming in every single day, when he used to only check his mail once a week at best. Whatever. Now he has no reason to come back so often, and they’ve got plenty of time to forget him, like the way things should be.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he almost smacks Maria right in the face with the door as he leaves. She yelps, and he catches it at just the last second, tripping over apologies while she flaps her hand at him dismissively.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, Alex, really,” she laughs. Alex steadies her with his hands on her shoulders, and she tugs him to the side, out of the way of the sidewalk traffic. “I was hoping to run into you anyway. I have something for you.”

Oh shit. Anxiety spikes, and Alex blabbers, “Oh, shit, Maria, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know we were doing gifts this year—”

Great. Their friendship is finally finding even footing again, and Alex immediately puts himself in the red again by hitting her with a door and tells her straight up that he didn’t get her anything for Christmas. Batting a fuckin’ thousand, isn’t he. No wonder his secret admirer or whatever got bored of him.

“Alex, seriously, chill.” She tweaks his chin. “No presents is one hundred percent fine. You think I’m all about worshipping at the capitalist altar that is Christmas? Hell no. Buuut someone asked me for a favor, and it just so happened that I had something for you anyway, so here you go.”

She grabs his hand and presses into it a beautifully beaded eight-pointed star, red and white and gold. Alex gasps, and says, “This is—”

“One of Mom’s, yeah.” That wry, sad smile Maria gets when she talks about her mother curls up on her face. “She makes a lot of them on her good days, and her nurse says it’s good that she’s working with her hands. And Mom specifically said this one was for you.”

“God.” Alex swallows and grips the star as tightly as he can without crushing it. “Let me know next time you’re going to visit her, okay? So I can thank her in person?”

“Sure thing.”

Maria blinks rapidly for a moment, and Alex, understanding, doesn’t mention it. She composes herself quickly, and then Alex just has to ask:

“So it hasn’t been you the whole time, has it?”

“What, leaving you the ornaments? I am not that sappy.”

“Come on, there’s nothing wrong with being a little sentimental,” he teases.

“Uh huh. Sure. I forgot I was talking to the master of fuzzy feelings himself.”

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

Maria laughs at that and, hooking her arm through his, starts off down the street. “Now, we may not be exchanging presents this year, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make you help me with the rest of my shopping.”

The next day’s ornament is a classic Han Solo one, and if Alex lets out an undignified gasp when he sees it, Buffy is the only creature around to witness it. If he spends the rest of the day finding and watching the Star Wars Christmas Special, well, the same goes for that too, and his dignity is firmly intact.

The day after that, Liz texts him to come to the Crashdown, and since it’s a weekend he makes it there to meet her on her lunch break. The decorations look just as good in the daylight, if an inch or two less magical, and Alex has to duck his head to hide his grin when he remembers Michael very seriously placing a Santa hat on each individual alien in the place.

Liz beckons him over to a booth, two shakes and a plate of fries already in front of her. “Figured since I called you out, I could at least treat you,” she says. “On top of what I called you here for, which is….” She does a little drumroll on the table, then plonks an ornament box down on the table.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Alex bursts out.

“I know, right? I couldn’t believe it when I found it.”

Laughing and shaking his head, Alex picks it up. It’s a cat wearing an antenna headband so, so similar to the one perched on Liz’s head—the wrong shade of green, but still.

“I don’t suppose this is your way of telling me you’ve been leaving me ornaments all month, is it.”

“Pfft, no way.” Liz steals a fry from his tray and crunches it smugly. “Secret admirer, Manes. It’s supposed to be secret.”

Day fourteen is something delicate, so much so he’s a little scared to touch it. It’s thin glass, deep blue, and when it catches a light source it sends shimmering blue all around the room. It’s the day Alex stops trying to guess who his mystery gift-giver is, because now he’s been given light to hold in his hands, and it makes him feel—makes him—

Someone thought he was worthy of this. Someone wanted him to have it. Whether or not they ever tell him who they are, that means something.

His fifteenth ornament is the third one to come wrapped in a package, but this time it’s in an actual USPS shipping box, and it comes with a letter inside, in handwriting he recognizes.

Captain, it says, we got pressed into service again, and I was the unlucky bastard who drew the short straw, so I’m sending this to you, along with a warning that you fucking owe me…

The ornament is basic, a decently pretty white and silver snowflake. He puts the letter on the shelf with it. If the season is forcing everyone else into a sentimental mood, he might as well succumb to it too.

He wakes up on the sixteenth day with a bit of a sentiment hangover and lets himself lie in bed for a little while longer than usual, fondling Buffy’s soft ears and cradling this lovely, bittersweet feeling inside himself. If Christmas is the deadline for this whole ornament thing, he’s over halfway to the end. He takes the morning slowly, lingering over his coffee and over the view of the desert through his kitchen window, the high def white-gray limning of the world you get with a serious cold.

That day’s ornament doesn’t match Alex’s mood at all, but he still chuckles and shakes his head when he sees it. It’s another patch job like the Santa alien, but this time some sort of Valentines leftover—a traditional Roswell Gray holding a big red heart that says you’re out of this world!, with a handmade place for ornament hooks to go. It looks absurdly out of place next to everything else he’s accumulated, but he gives it its place of honor anyway.

He doesn’t expect his seventeenth ornament to arrive on the doorstep or in the mail, and sure enough, the pattern holds and it’s hand delivered at like ten o’clock that night. He almost doesn’t answer the door, but to be honest he’d left his leg on after work expecting just this.

“Ho ho ho,” an exhausted-looking Kyle says, shoving a box into Alex’s hands.

“Dude, did you drive all the way out here after your shift? It could have waited.”

“Nah, this is my one good deed for the year.”

“You’re literally a surgeon. Your job is good deeds.”

“Fine—my one act of charity.”

Alex bristles at that. “I don’t need—”

“Not for you.” Kyle punches him lightly on the shoulder.

Cryptic bastard.

“Go ahead and open it,” Kyle says, “My blood is eighty percent coffee right now, and I want to get home before I crash”

“You know you can stay if you need to.”

“Yeah, yeah. Open it.”

Alex’s eyebrows go straight up when he does and pulls out a shimmery white ball with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer logo on it. “You didn’t pick this out yourself. You asked me why I gave my dog a porn name the first time you met her.”

“Hey! I listened when you explained—” When Alex fixes him with a glare, Kyle gives in with a laugh. “Okay, okay, Rosa helped. Oh ye of little faith.”

Kyle leaves after that, with a quick hug and a Merry Christmas, and Alex goes to his shelf to put the ornament away. He hasn’t been keeping them in chronological order, more a sort of a…thematic grouping. The Buffy ball goes with Maria’s star, Liz’s alien cat, and the snowflake from his unit.

He looks up and turns away, casting his eyes all around the room to hide from no one the fact that he’s getting a little bit choked up.

Maybe he’ll buy some lights tomorrow. Or tinsel or something. No reason he can’t go in on the decorating, right? Why is he still holding himself back?

He doesn’t make it to the store the next day, or the two after that, three days that see him receiving a coffee mug, a UFO that’s supposed to light up when it’s plugged in, and a little truck hauling a Christmas tree.

He wonders if maybe that last one is a promise.

The pattern of hand deliveries every other day has been broken. But, in the spirit of the season—Alex doesn’t dwell on the fact that he never got one hand-delivered by Michael and instead chooses to think about the other thing that could mean.

On day twenty-one, he gets a glass teardrop that shimmers purple and golden, and on day twenty-two he gets a golden disc engraved with a tiny, perfect star chart.

The day before Christmas Eve, he opens the door to find an acoustic guitar.

As if he didn’t already know.

Christmas Eve dawns gray and dismal with the smell of snow in the air. Buffy trots around the yard in circles, lifting her nose every couple minutes to sniff the cold, and Alex cradles his coffee in both hands to keep them warm while he watches her, content. Part of him regrets that he never went and got more decorations, but it’s okay. This whole month—it’s been such an unexpected thing to be able to accept a simple joy into his life, to let himself expect a little, uncalled-for gift every day, that all he can feel at this point is just…peace. He couldn’t have asked for anything else. He didn’t.

Buffy barks, and Alex looks up just in time to see a familiar truck coming down the road, the bed covered with a tarp. Alex puts his mug down on the railing and regrets it instantly for want of something to do with his hands as Michael parks, opens the door, and jumps out of the car.

“Hey,” Alex says.

“Hey. Merry Christmas,” Michael says in return.

They just stare at each other for a moment, something that happens a lot when it’s just the two of them. Like they have to steel themselves to speak. Like they have to make sure that no, it’s not, it’s not the time to take that step forward and drown themselves in each other. It’s okay, yeah, it’s okay to just be here. Like this.

“Want some help with that?” Alex tilts his chin in the direction of the tarp.

“Y-yeah. Sure.” He stumbles over the word and ducks his head, rounding the truck to reveal what’s underneath.

It’s exactly what Alex expected, and everything he never did. His heart in his throat, he touches one of the branches on the tree, needles pricking his skin, sap sticky on his fingertips when he pulls them away.

“You get the other end,” Michael says, and they carry it inside together, a crate full of other decorations floating along behind them, Buffy pulling up the rear, eyeing it suspiciously. She settles in the corner to watch as Michael sets the tree up, hammers it into the stand, and positions it in the corner where it’ll be out of Alex’s way.

Alex hovers in the kitchen, making them both more coffee, hands shaking a little bit on the grounds, on the filter, on the carafe. The tree still takes up too much room. Michael takes up too much room. He always has. In this tiny house. In Alex’s heart and in his head and between his ribs. Michael pulls things out of the crate one by one and hangs them in the air around himself—bundles of lights, a skirt for the tree, multicolored balls and delicate paper snowflakes to fill all the spots left between the ornaments in Alex’s new collection.

Their fingers brush when Alex hands him a mug, and Alex lets the moment hang there. Skin on skin in the most casual, innocent way, but with Michael’s golden eyes so close it still manages to heat his blood, dry his mouth, cover him in yearning.

“Thanks,” Michael says hoarsely. He drags his index finger along Alex’s as he pulls his hand away, sending a shiver through the both of them.

Decorating for Christmas shouldn’t feel forbidden, but it does. It does, as they circle around each other, spiraling lights around the tree, eyes catching on every pass, Alex’s face so warm every time he sees Michael’s answering blush, on his cheeks, on his lips. Once the lights are on, they start in on the ornaments. Alex picks them off the shelf in chronological order, passing half of them to Michael, keeping half of them—like Mimi’s star, Han Solo, and the guitar—for himself.

“How did you manage it?” He asks eventually, fixing the teardrop to a high branch so Buffy doesn’t get any ideas.

“A friend who knows how to navigate Etsy, a sister with Amazon Prime, and a little bit of old-fashioned gumption.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Sure am.” Michael grins with satisfaction at the Valentines alien. Then he sobers a bit and says, “Hey, look, I’m sorry about the packaging the first couple days. I wanted to surprise you—I wasn’t thinking, and I should have.”

“It’s okay. You changed it up, and…yeah. It’s fine.”

“Thanks.”

A couple minutes pass in silence as Alex searches for what else to say. To ask. Why did he do it? When did he get the idea?

He asks, “What about the others? The ones you had Maria, Liz, Kyle, and the guys pick out? Red herrings, or did you just run out of ideas?”

“Oh, I had lots of ideas.” Michael presses his shoulder to Alex’s, coming in close to hang the star chart right beside the silver bird. Nudging him shyly, Michael says, “But my favorite one was the one where you got reminded how many people care about you.”

Alex almost drops the UFO at that, at Michael’s absurd honesty. He has nothing else to say, and they finish decorating the tree in peaceful silence. When they finish, Alex turns the lights off, and Michael plugs the tree in, and the gray day is dark enough that everything lights up bright like it would in the evening, all the colors of the rainbow.

“Fuck,” Alex breathes. It’s like a punch to the gut, happiness and disbelief and the unavoidable need to hoard this feeling, this moment, that comes on the heels of those feelings.

“So you like it?”

“Fuck,” Alex repeats, “Michael. I love it. It’s…I just…”

“Good.”

Michael, hesitating all the way, reaches out and takes Alex’s hand, sliding their fingers home together.

“I have one more ornament for you.” And he reaches into his pocket.

Alex makes a strangled noise when he sees it. Instinct tells him to rip his hand out of Michael’s and flee to the other side of the room to regroup, but he stays rooted in place, struggling, grasping for anything to say.

The console shard—because that’s what it has to be, just with gauzy ribbon looped and knotted carefully around one end so it dangles neatly from Michael’s fingers—shimmers in the soft rainbow light. Michael’s eyes shimmer along with it, equally as alien.

“I can’t,” Alex blurts. “I can’t take it. Michael. No. It’s—”

“No, no, listen, please.” Michael tugs on his hand like he wants to pull him closer, but Alex can’t—he just can’t—

He can’t be what ties Michael to Earth. He can’t be the sole tether that keeps him here, to the world that hurt him again and again, even if it’s the thing he wants most in the world, to protect, to hoard him like he hoards every sliver of a happy memory, where no one can take it away from him. That’s why he—months ago, when he most thought Michael was slipping through his hands, he gave him the console piece he found so he could go if he needed to. And now Michael tries to hand another piece back to him again?

“I can’t,” Alex says again, stuck on repeat.

“Hey, hey,” Michael fumbles for Alex’s other hand, and Alex lets him catch it, because with Michael holding him in place he doesn’t feel as cold. “It’s not what you think. I’m not asking you to keep me here, or anywhere, just.”

He swallows. He’s beautiful, in this light most of all. The most beautiful thing Alex has ever seen. Shining in every way, from the golden brushstrokes of his hair to the heart of him, who knew that Alex must never have had much of a holiday and decided to give him one.

Alex wants to kiss him. Wants to swallow whatever words Michael is going to say next and end the conversation there.

“Look.” Michael squeezes his hands. “When my mom—when she died. And after. Everything I worked for, everything I built the console for and devoted my life to, I thought it was over. Useless. But…you told me you were my family. And I know it took me too long to believe it, but I do now.

“I built the console because I was searching for my family. And now that it’s right in front of me, I want you to have a piece of it. Want us to have a piece of it.”

Alex searches Michael’s face, every earnest, open inch, until he can’t stand it anymore, until he drops Michael’s hands in favor of cradling his face, pulling him in, and taking his mouth in a slow, deep, careful kiss, tasting coffee on his tongue, drowning in the coming home of him, of his mouth on Alex’s, the rightness of having him in his arms. Michael responds with enthusiasm, stroking his back with his broad hands, making eager little noises into the kiss, going along with it until Alex pulls away to look at him again.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alex breathes.

“Thought it was the season for believing,” Michael replies, a little smile returning to his face.

“That’s what they tell me,” Alex says, and kisses him again.

Michael stays the night, wrapped up in Alex’s blankets, wrapped up in every inch of space Alex has ever thought was empty or cold. He doesn’t even need to set the heater that night, kept plenty warm by Michael’s body all along his back, holding him so close.

They wake up slow in the morning, but Alex earliest, because…

Well, even after everything Michael has done this month and everything he said the previous day, Alex is nervous about Michael’s Christmas present. He needs those extra minutes, watching him sleep peacefully, to steel himself.

But when he watches Michael wake up, sees how the first thing he does is look for Alex so he can smile at him, he isn’t so worried anymore.

They bring the blankets out into the sitting room, bundling up under the tree. Buffy leaves her bed to lie beside them instead, on top of the blankets, effectively pinning them in place, so Michael has to use his powers to get the wood and kindling set and strike a match and get a fire going in the fireplace.

The light flickers like something living off the console shard hanging from one of the uppermost branches. Heart in his throat, Alex pulls the envelope—the same one that held the ornament he got on December 1st—out of his pocket.

“I have something for you, too.”

Michael takes the envelope, eyes locked on Alex’s like he’s waiting for permission to open it. When Alex nods, he slips the tape open carefully, almost reverently. Like Alex, he’s never really gotten a gift before. Not one he thought meant anything. Not one he thought could stay.

He shakes the envelope, and a key falls into his hand.

“It’s to the front door,” Alex says to fill the silence.

Michael’s fist clamps around it with a familiar desperation, like someone might come out of nowhere to snatch it away. He blinks glossy eyes, wet lashes up at Alex, his mouth open, closed, throat bobbing as he swallows. Alex reaches out to stroke his closed fist.

“You’re my family. You’re my home. I don’t ever want to shut you out; I want you to be here. With me. Together. And I think you want that too.”

“Alex,” Michael chokes, and then he’s in Alex’s arms, wrapped around him in a hug.

He stays like that for most of the day, handsy and gentle, reaching out to touch him whenever they’re separated even for a moment. The next day passes much the same—then the next they both have to go back to work, live lives outside of their little holiday bubble.

Alex gets home first. He takes the dog out, gets dinner out of the freezer. Then about an hour later, he hears a car outside, footsteps on the stairs, then, after a minute’s pause, a key slots into the lock.

And Alex knows.

#malex #my fic #roswell new mexico #christmas fic #michael guerin #alex manes

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spaceskam · 5 years

Text

Lovefool

Super late Day 4 of ladies of rnm week: favorite f/f pairing

ao3

“And who are they?”

“Those are… We call those three The Plastics.”

An amused smile found Maria’s face as she looked over to Liz and Alex who were both staring very pointedly at the trio who seemed to be navigating the cafeteria in slow motion. It was Maria’s first day at a new school in a new state and she’d been lucky enough to find friends. Or, they found her. Apparently, the POC of Roswell had to stick together to avoid too much trouble.

She didn’t need proof to believe that.

“Why The Plastics?”

“Because they don’t talk to anyone except for each other unless it’s for sketchy purposes, they’re basically a crew of mobile, slightly terrifying mannequins,” Alex explained, pointing a fork in their direction without any worry. She nodded slowly, turning her gaze to the infamous group. She sort of got it they were all gorgeous.

“See, Max, he’s the nicest one, he’ll be friendly a little,” Liz said, gesturing to the one with a kind smile and a baseball hat firmly on his head, “Actually, he might be the only one who is semi-approachable.”

“Then, that one is Michael,” Alex continued, “He’s super quiet and has quite the reputation. Been to juvie twice and has been suspended, like, a dozen times for fighting.”

“He’s kinda cute, honestly,” Maria admitted, tilting her head as she took in the stoic boy who let the only girl of their group twirl his hair around her finger.

“Oh, he’s absolutely cute. In like a rugged, you-kinda-scare-me, would-choke-me-during-sex kinda way,” Alex said almost wistfully and she had to hold back a laugh, “He stole my textbook once, but he gave it back, so he’s not all bad.”

“She his girlfriend?”

“Oh, no. They just… do that,” Liz said, “That’s Max’s sister, Isobel Evans.”

“The Almighty.”

“Enviably confident.”

“Prom Queen Barbie.”

“Heartbreaker extraordinaire .”

“A massive bitch.”

Maria snorted at their descriptions of the blonde. She was stunningly gorgeous and stared at Michael with a charming smirk. She seemed to fit your stereotypical mean girl with the only exception being that she hung out with her brother.

“She’s that bad?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s the worst. She dated my sister and then broke up with her, like, extremely publically,” Liz said.

“She did the same thing to my brother. Not that I actually care about his feelings, but she did that when she was a sophomore and he was a senior. Her power,” Alex sighed wistfully all over again. Maria snorted. “Nah, but we actually used to kind of be friends. Something happened when we were like thirteen. Well, I know what happened. She started dating Kyle Valenti and Kyle was beginning to hate me at that point and so she had to turn on me too. So, I guess I got lucky that she only broke my friend-heart and not my romance-heart. Or maybe not, I don’t know. I’m over it.”

“And she’s just, like, your classic mean girl. She uses people and she’s just a bitch to everyone who has to be around her. I had to do a project with her last year and she just acted like I was stupid the entire time. It was the worst,” Liz grumbled before Maria had time to fully process Alex’s words.

“Well what about her is so appealing? Like is she like secretly super funny or something?” Maria inquired. It didn’t make sense that a girl who basically shut herself off to everyone but her brother and some random delinquent managed to get people to fall for her that often.

“She’s pretty, she’s charming, guys think it’s hot that she’s into girls, girls who are into girls want a girlfriend that pretty so badly they take what they can get,” Liz said, but then she paused, “Or at least that’s my theory. She and my sister were polar opposites and she still fell, so…”

“Honestly, someone just needs to break her heart so she gets it’s not a game,” Alex said and Maria decided that he was most definitely not over their friendship break up.

Maria cocked her head to the side and tried to see what was so charming about Isobel Evans. She had long blonde hair and striking eyes that were visible with a cafeteria between them, but that seemed to be it on the surface level. Well, actually, her smile was intriguing too. And the fact that she only talks to those to was intriguing. Maybe people get attached because they like getting a taste of the mystery.

Before she had the opportunity to look away, Isobel caught her staring. She made it very clear that she saw, making very direct eye contact and raising a challenging eyebrow. Maria didn’t bother looking away, giving a small smile to the blonde. Isobel slowly grew a smile of her own, her tongue splitting her lips and dragging across the bottom one. Maria understood a little bit better what her appeal was.

“Oh my God,” Liz said, stealing her attention away from Isobel, “I have an idea. Let’s break her heart.”

“How?” Alex asked, “Everyone actually falls for her. She’s like an addiction.”

“Okay, but they wouldn’t if they went into it specifically to break her heart. Like… Maria,” Liz said, grinning almost deviously. Maria’s eyes went wide.

“What? No, I-I don’t even know her,” Maria said.

“You don’t need to, you’ve got us. We can coach you,” Alex said, seeming right on board with the idea. She looked between them as she began to realize just how serious they were. It was a lot. She didn’t want to ruin the friendships she’d just made, but purposely hurting someone’s feelings?

“C’mon, Maria, haven’t you ever been around a mean girl? Haven’t you ever had your heart broken?” Liz pushed.

Maria sat back as she thought about it for a moment. She’d had her fair share of both of those things. She had one too many memories of girls who didn’t look too much different from Isobel shoving her into lockers or onto the ground or insulting the way she dressed. She’d been with boys and girls alike who broke her heart and left her a mess in their wake.

Honestly, she wouldn’t mind getting a little payback.

“Okay,” Maria agreed hesitantly, “Tell me what to do.”

There was instant regret when they squealed so loud that it hurt.

Maria saw her opportunity to get Isobel’s attention two days later when she found Max Evas being thrown against the lockers by a few dickheads.

“Freak,” they laughed, almost like they thought it was clever. It wasn’t even hard to stroll up to them with a smile the moment she realized Max had no intention to fight back. She would’ve helped him regardless of Isobel Evans.

“Hi,” she said as she tapped one of them on the shoulder. They all turned to her with confused eyes, even Max. “You know, it takes a real dick to pick on someone you know won’t pick back. Your ego must be very, very pathetic.”

The three assholes let Max go, blinking at her as the confusion grew. Max just looked intrigued.

“So, what is it that makes that ego so sad? Did mommy throw away your drawings? Did daddy not play enough ball with you? Or is your dick just that small?” Maria asked. She could watch as the guys grew irritated with her probably entirely correct assumptions. Max was biting back a wild grin. “Oh, you look angry. You wanna shove me into the lockers? Do it. I so very promise that I won’t be as good a person as my friend Max here.”

They stared at her for a moment before stalking away and grumbling like a crew of toddlers. She rolled her eyes at them before turning back to Max who had that dopey smile on his face. It was clear that Liz was right in saying he was the nice one. Hopefully, he would pass on her good deed to his sister. Liz and Alex had said the main ways to get Isobel’s attention was confidence and/or one of her boys thinking she wasn’t half bad.

"Thanks," Max said, “You’re friends with Liz, right?” This really was going to be so easy.

“Yeah. And no problem,” Maria said, smiling. Max nodded his head curtly and, before he could say anything else, his eyes focused on someone behind her.

“What did I tell you about walking down Fuck Hall by yourself?”

Maria looked over her shoulder and time seemed to slow down as she unintentionally zeroed in on Isobel Evans. She was even more stunning up close than she had been from across the room and Maria was struck with a new wave of understanding of why people fell for her. She was captivating and something about her drew you in even when she didn’t even look at you.

Except she was looking at Maria. That was unmistakable.

“It was okay, I had a hero. This is…” Max trailed off once he realized she’d never given her name. Maria turned to face Isobel as she stepped up, her long hair swishing the side as she tilted her head to the side. Jesus Christ.

“Maria DeLuca,” Maria said.

“Isobel Evans,” Isobel said.

They both stared at each other for a while. Maria had no idea why Isobel was staring, but she knew why she was. Part of it was to follow through with the plan‒to make Isobel fall for her and then dump her‒and part of it was because she was so fucking hot. Literally, it made no sense. What did her parents look like? How did a normal person look like that? It was unreal. Maria wanted to memorize her.

The silence was only broken when Max chimed in, “Maria told Wyatt Long that he had a small dick.”

Isobel snorted and looked over to her brother with an awfully fond look. It reminded Maria of the look she’d seen her give Michael. Maybe that was it. Maybe people wanted to be the one to break her shell and earn that look. Maria could understand that.

“Good. It’s probably the truth anyway,” she mused, looking Maria over one last time before holding her hand out to Max. He grabbed it mindlessly, almost like a child. “Maria,” Isobel said instead of a goodbye, giving Maria a confident smile before she strutted away with Max in tow.

Maria let out a slow breath as she watched her walk away. Fuck. Within a few seconds, Liz and Alex appeared at her side and very rudely stole her attention from Isobel Evans’ long-ass legs.

“How’d it go?” Liz asked almost excitedly. Maria was beginning to think they were finding way too much joy in the prospect of taking down Isobel.

“Fine, I guess. I got her attention I think.”

“Okay, so now she’s interested. Or we hope she’s interested. Let’s wait a couple days and see. But I think you should, like, stare at her all the time. Make sure she knows you’re interested,” Alex suggested, “Maybe steal something of hers so she has to talk to you.”

Maria snorted, “What, you got that idea from Michael?” He didn’t even try to hide the blush on his cheeks.

“Shut up.”

Maria nodded though and looked in the direction that Isobel had disappeared. She figured being caught staring at her wouldn’t be a hard feat. Staring at Isobel Evans might be the easiest task she’d ever been given.

Maybe this was actually going to work.

Calculus was a lot more interesting whenever paying attention wasn’t involved.

Maria focused in on Isobel the entire class. She was sitting beside Michael who was all but asleep against her shoulder. The teacher didn’t say anything to them which had to mean they did this a lot. They had done so nearly every day that Maria had noticed. It must’ve been a staple.

The moment Isobel looked back at her and caught her eye, Maria’s phone buzzed. She held back a groan and looked at the screen.

Liz: good luck!!!!

Maria shook her head, a small smile pulling at her lips as she moved her gaze back up to Isobel. She was still staring. Maria raised an eyebrow and Isobel just offered her signature little smirk. God, she was so hot. For a moment, she was thankful that she had gotten a heads up about the heartbreaker that was Isobel Evans. She might’ve fallen for real had she gone in blind. It was too easy when she was so gorgeous and weirdly caring towards her two misfit boys.

Her eyes were overwhelming and, the more Maria allowed to tune into the psychic part of herself, the more she began to see something she had to assume that no one else saw. Maria had been embarrassed by this ability and kept it to herself, but she did let it do its job when she moved somewhere new. Auras were so important to being aware of who you kept in your company. For example, Liz was bright yellows and white, exuding excitement about the world and eager for whatever was thrown at her. It had to explain why she was so excited about messing with Isobel‒it was a new project she could tackle. Alex, on the other hand, had a darker, yet almost striped aura. It wasn’t something she’d ever seen before, but a quick discussion with her mother informed her that it probably belonged to a natural healer who had personal struggles to heal before he could heal others.

That led her to Isobel Evans. She seemed to exist in a constant of a dangerously dark royal blue that seemed almost brown sometimes, screaming about how guarded and aware she was. It almost made Maria nervous that she already knew what she was up to. But how would she know? She didn’t know. She couldn’t know.

Maria didn’t notice when class ended. She was stuck in thoughts about Isobel and what her aura could possibly mean about her. Something had to have happened to her. No one was that guarded for no reason. What had happened to her?

“You know, some people might take all the staring as an insult.”

Maria snapped out of her trance to find Isobel standing in front of her, her pale hand pressed down on the desk. Her nails were nicely cut. Michael stood behind her a few feet, slumped against another desk and picking at the tattered hem of his shirt.

“Are you one of those people?” Maria asked, trying to make it seem like she’d been completely aware that she’d been approached.

Isobel took a slow breath and stood up straight, using her tongue to drag her bottom lip between her teeth. Jesus Christ.

“Not when it’s you,” Isobel said simply. Maria just raised an eyebrow. “You should come sit with us at lunch.” Maria had been prepared for this. She had been warned for this by Liz. That was like an invitation for a trial date. No one said no, even if they weren’t actually interested in Isobel. Once she’d even asked Liz herself on behalf of Max. She’d obviously said yes.

Maria obviously had to say no.

“Mm, thanks for the offer but I’m good. I already have a place to sit at lunch,” Maria said simply. Isobel’s face fell and, while Maria tried to seem like she wasn’t paying attention by putting her binder in her back, she could see Michael stifling a laugh.

“You don’t want to sit with us?” Isobel clarified as if it was unheard of. Which she supposed it was. They were sort of like the Cullens in Twilight. Just a group of hot people that everyone was dying to be apart of for some reason. Even if they probably all had the personality of a cardboard box.

“No, I’m good. Thanks though,” Maria said, but she made sure to give Isobel a very clear once over as she stood. “See you around I hope.”

Maria turned and walked away, being sure not to look back as much as she wanted to. She pulled out her phone, opening her group message with Liz and Alex.

Maria: she’s interested

The next day at lunch, they were approached by Max who, in all his boyish charms, had his eyes solely on Liz.

“Hey, Liz,” Max said, smiling helplessly, “Isobel wants you to know she’s throwing a party.” Liz blinked a few times in confusion and Maria was just as lost. Why would she want to tell Liz of all people? No offense to Liz. But that didn’t exactly go with their plan.

“Me?” Liz asked, her hand pressing over her heart. Max blinked dumbly a few times.

“Huh? Oh-oh, no. Maria. Isobel wants Maria to know she’s throwing a party. Sorry. Just… the invite is for all of you. You know… if you want,” Max fumbled about, his face growing more and more red the longer he stood there. Maria’s hand went to cover her mouth. Oh, was that boy lovesick.

“Mmm,” Maria hummed and Max slowly managed to steal his eyes away from Liz and look at Maria.

“So, you’ll come?”

“I might.”

Max slowly nodded and looked at Liz one last time.

“I hope so,” he says, slowly backing away until he eventually had to turn around. The three waited until he was far away enough before all leaning in with matching grins.

“This is really working,” Liz said.

“Yeah, but Max has it bad for you, Liz,” Maria snickered. She blushed, shaking her head.

“No, Isobel has a thing for you and Michael has a thing for Alex, it would be way too weird for their entire group to have a thing for our entire group. That only happens in teen dramas,” Liz rambled. Alex rolled his eyes and playfully swatted at her arm.

“Yeah, right. As if Michael Guerin would be into me. No, Max is the one who looks like he’s high on you all the damn time,” Alex teased. Liz scrunched up her nose adorably, shaking her head.

“Stop! This isn’t about me, this is about Maria and how she single-handedly got Isobel Evans to throw a party,” she said. Maria tried to hide her smile. She wouldn’t lie‒she was excited. She was eager to talk to Isobel and see if she could figure out where all the walls came from. Oh, and to break her heart. That was a thing.

Yeah.

Totally.

“They don’t usually throw parties?” Maria clarified. The two shook their heads.

“No. Well, I mean, they’ve thrown one before, but that was a long time ago. That didn’t count. This is… this is a way to get you around her. She really likes you!” Liz damn near squealed. Maria laughed as she shushed her, looking to see Isobel smiling at her with her chin in her palm.

“If you get any louder, everyone in the cafeteria will hear you,” she said. Liz waved it off but got quieter.

“This is gonna be good.”

The party was shockingly full, the Evans’ residence nearly shaking with the number of people.

Liz was clutching Maria’s arm despite the excitement on her face. Alex was extra hardened tonight, stoic face in full force as he walked beside her. Maria knew that he totally planned to get Michael’s attention tonight even if he hadn’t exactly said that. He just looked that good.

“Hey! Liz!” Max’s voice broke through the crowd, his tall frame sticking out over the crowd as he waved for her attention. Maria had no idea how he even saw her with everyone in the house being at least a few inches taller than her. There was a reason she was clutching onto Maria. Still, he wove through the crowd to meet them. “You wanna go in the kitchen? There’s less people to trample you.”

Liz looked to them for permission and they both waved her away. She gladly let Max lead her to the kitchen. One down, two to go.

Maria and Alex leaned against the wall for a while, drinks in hand. Isobel was supposed to be the hostess or even enjoying her own party, but she had been pressed against the opposite wall for the entire party with Michael glued to her side. Maria didn’t mind. It made it easy to have an entirely silent conversation with her from across the room. It was a constant challenge on who would approach who first. Isobel seemed to think her job was done, she approached her the first time and got her here, so it was Maria’s turn. Maria, though, was pretty insistent that she was the one who needed to be swept off her feet.

“Do you think it’d be sexual harassment if I asked Michael to dance?” Alex asked, his words weird enough that it got Maria to look away from Isobel. It took a lot to do that.

“Alex, what?” she laughed, shaking her head, “Why would that be sexual harassment?” He shrugged.

“‘Cause I’m me,” he said simply. She didn’t know whether to laugh or hug him in response to that statement. Instead, she just shoved his shoulder.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that Michael isn’t going to take it as sexual harassment,” Maria insisted, gesturing with her head towards the boy who had been making ‘fuck me’ eyes at Alex all night. Or, honestly, all week. Month even.

“If he does, I’m blaming you,” he said. She nodded, accepting the blame since she knew it wasn’t going to go badly.

And it didn’t go badly. Maria wasn’t exactly sure what he said to Michael, but she saw him smile for the first time ever and he accepted. When Alex turned to lead him to dance, Maria could see the absolute shock on his face. She smiled encouragingly before turning to make eye contact with Isobel again.

’And then there were two,’ Maria mouthed to her. She watched a pretty genuine smile find Isobel’s face before she dipped back her cup. She pushed off the wall with determination.

Maria would be lying if she said she didn’t start to feel nervous as Isobel approached her. She stepped up close, standing tall and confident as ever. Maria had to remind herself that this wasn’t real. Or… it couldn’t be real.

“You wanna go for a ride?” Isobel asked, her deep voice nothing short of alluring as it cut through the sound of the music with minimal effort. Maria tilted her head back.

“You know this is your party. You just want to leave?”

“I think we both know I really only wanted to see you,” she said as if admitting that was the easiest thing in the world. Maybe it was. “Besides, I trust Max and Michael not to let the place get chaotic.” Maria raised an eyebrow and nodded to where Michael had nuzzled up to Alex, both of their hardass personas showing a few too many cracks as they cuddled in the corner and shared a beer. “Okay, fine, I trust Max not to let it get wild. He’d want to show Liz he’s responsible or something. Point is… I don’t want to be around anyone other than you right now.”

Maria smiled easily. “You hardly even know me and you want to be alone with me? Sounds dangerous.” Isobel took a step closer, hardly any space between them anymore. If she breathed heavy enough, they’d touch.

“I think you might be worth the risk.”

So Maria agreed.

Isobel’s car was clean aside from the stack of neatly folded men’s clothing in the backseat. Maria didn’t question it.

“So, a mindreader,” Isobel said as she started up the car. Maria froze. There was no way she could know that. How could she know that? “Let’s just say I know the stare. You were reading me in class the other day.”

Maria didn’t know how to answer. The plan was to flirt, to make her fall for the hard-to-get act that Maria had put up. Not for Isobel to immediately zero in on that one very personal thing. But then the knowing looks that Isobel seemed to always have made sense. She did always know. Maybe not all the details, but overall… She knew.

“You’re psychic?” Maria asked softly. She could feel her body heating up with nerves. What if she knew that she was planning on hurting her? What if she was going to do something mean like drive her to the desert and leave her there as payback?

“Something like that,” Isobel admitted, looking over to her with a smile that was closer to the one she usually gave Max and Michael. “Probably why I was drawn to you the moment I saw you. Kindred spirits.”

“Is that a pickup line?” Maria asked, clearing her throat as she desperately tried to gain back some control of the conversation. Isobel laughed.

“Maybe,” she said, but after a beat, she added, “No. It’s not. But uh… What’d you see when you read me?”

Isobel seemed genuinely interested in the answer. Maria gulped softly, looking out and wondering if she should answer. They hadn’t gone over this situation. They hadn’t expected this situation. Maria decided to tell the truth.

“You’re… really guarded,” Maria said softly, looking over to her. Isobel didn’t seem to react. She didn’t confirm nor deny. “It’s like you’re hiding something. Which I understand. I don’t like people knowing I’m psychic either.”

Isobel glanced over at her for a moment before turning her eyes back to the road. The air felt heavy, questions going loudly unsaid and Maria didn’t know how to bring it back to playful or flirtatious. It had gotten too heavy and it’s not like she could leave.

“I’ve never met someone like me. Well, I mean, I have Max and Michael, but never a girl. I never thought I would,” Isobel admitted, her wording feeling careful in a way Maria didn’t understand. She turned in her seat to face Isobel with furrowed eyebrows.

“They’re psychic too?” she asked, wanting more information. She was intrigued about Isobel on a different level than she had been before. Was it something else? Was there a reason they kept to themselves with a few exceptions? She wanted to know.

Isobel looked over at her for a moment before slowly pulling into the parking lot of some alien-themed playground. She turned the car off and turned to face Maria.

“You get it, don’t you?” Isobel said softly, her eyes searching Maria’s face for something, “That when you’re different like that‒when your mind can do things it isn’t supposed to be able to do‒that you have to keep your guard up. It’s the only way to make sure the people you love stay safe, right? Or do you disagree?”

“I think…” Maria paused as she took in Isobel’s face. It was a little more desperate than before like she wanted to hear whatever she said and was going to take it to heart. For a girl who was talking about how sturdy her walls had to be, she sure as hell was letting them fall for Maria. She welcomed it. “I think that’s true to an extent. You should protect yourself, but you shouldn’t be completely closed off. Sometimes letting people in is a good thing. It keeps you from being lonely.”

“You think I’m lonely?” Isobel asked, leaning closer. It wasn’t defensive, it wasn’t annoyed, it was honest. Isobel Evans was honest.

“You threw a whole party just to see me,” Maria teased and a smile slowly broke out on Isobel’s face, “That sounds lonely to me.”

“I mean, can you blame me? You’re gorgeous,” Isobel said, laying back in her seat, “And clearly smart too.”

“Right back at you,” Maria agreed. Isobel smiled at her as the car fell silent again. This time, it wasn’t heavy. Or, it was, but in a good way. She sort of understood the kindred spirit thing Isobel had mentioned. She was easy to talk to if she put the bullshit on the backburner.

She was really going to have to talk to Alex and Liz about not hurting her.

“Do you want me to drive you home? It’s getting late,” Isobel offered, gesturing to the digital clock above the radio that brightly announced 10:53 PM. Maria watched her for a moment before nodding even though she would’ve liked to spend more time with her if only to learn more about her.

“Sure,” she whispered.

Maria directed her to the Wild Pony, the bar her mother had bought that they happened to live above. The entire drive there was lighthearted and playful like Maria had originally wanted, but she couldn’t deny that she liked that it got a little deeper than that. She liked that she’d been let in.

“Let me walk you to the door,” Isobel said once they pulled up to the back of the building that had a metal staircase that led straight to the apartment. There was a staircase on the inside as well, but she didn’t want the questions from her mother on why she was dragging an underage blonde bombshell through a crowd of creepy drunk men.

“You don’t have to,” Maria laughed but didn’t fight it as they scaled the steps. “Oddly enough, I had a good time with you.”

Isobel scoffed, “Oddly enough? I think I take back to compliments I gave you.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“You’re right,” Isobel said softly, taking a step closer, “I don’t.”

Maria smiled easily as Isobel stepped closer, her eyes flickering to her lips. Standing so close to her with her staring like that made it nearly impossible not to close the space, so Maria just went for it. Isobel welcomed the kiss with a smile, draping her arms around her neck. Maria grabbed her hips and pulled her closer.

They fit together almost too well. Isobel melded against her seamlessly, her head tilting and lips parting as she deepened the kiss without a second thought. Part of her told her this was probably a bad idea. She’d been at her new school for three weeks and she was already making out with a known womanizer. However, Isobel had seemed awfully approachable tonight and she really, really wanted to kiss her. Why should she deprive herself of that?

Besides, Isobel was a really fucking fantastic kisser.

Isobel hummed as the kiss ended, a lazy smile on her face as she pulled away. She pressed a couple of extra pecks before she slowly let go. Maria was left feeling dizzy and questioning if she should invite Isobel inside. God, she wanted to.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Maria said before she could even process what she intended to do. Isobel gave quite possibly the prettiest, sweetest smile in existence and she nodded.

“I’d really like that. We can meet at the Crashdown?” Isobel suggested.

“I can’t wait,” she said, reaching out and tugging her forward for one last kiss. Isobel went willingly.

Maria completely about anything else.

“I don’t think we should break her heart anymore.”

Alex and Liz stared at Maria with wide eyes. Maria had admittedly spent most of the weekend with Isobel and she was more than a little convinced that she was just really terribly misunderstood. She was sweet and funny and cuddly and she didn’t see the heartbreaker part of her. It seemed like she would’ve ended it before she opened up.

“Oh no. You’ve fallen for the head Plastic,” Alex said as if he didn’t have hickeys on his neck that screamed Michael Guerin. Maria scoffed.

“No! I just… She doesn’t actually seem that bad and I think she’s just scared to get close to people,” Maria explained, “Besides, you two are trying to get with her brother and her best friend so I feel like you’re hypocritical. I mean, who’s to say that they aren’t going to break your heart?”

“Because they’re not known assholes,” Liz argued, but paused as she looked over to Alex, “Okay, well, Michael is, but Max is a good guy.”

“Isobel really isn’t bad, you just don’t know her,” Maria tried. They both shook their heads.

“Jesus, Maria, we thought you were smarter than this. She’s actually going to hurt you and you’re going to feel so dumb because you knew it,” Alex pointed out, nothing short of pity on his face. Maria frowned as she looked between the two. Maybe they weren’t good people. Maybe she really was wrong. What kind of good person set out to hurt people?

The problem was, if she stopped being friends with them, that left her with no one. Well, Isobel, but that was still new and touchy and Maria didn’t want to rely on her as her sole form of companionship. She was stuck.

“Look, I won’t fall for her. I just don’t want to be cruel,” Maria said, hoping she could somehow get both friends and possibly a girlfriend.

“Maria,” Liz said softly, “You can do what you want. But what happens when she finds out that you intended to hurt her?”

Maria paused, looking between the two of them.

“You would tell her?” she asked. They scoffed, sharing a look that she felt left out of. She didn’t understand even when they looked at her. All it did was make her nervous.

“No. She’ll just know.”

“I’m beginning to think you lace your lipstick with crack because fuck I love your kisses.”

Maria snorted as she let Isobel pull her back in for a kiss. They’d come to the drive-in to watch some shitty alien movie, but neither of them could say what the plot was or even what any of the characters were named. They were far more interested in making out in the backseat of her car like they’d been doing most nights for the last couple weeks.

“Does Max just not care that you take the car all the time? I thought you had to share it,” Maria commented against her lips. Isobel scrunched up her nose.

“Ew, don’t mention my brothers when you’re kissing me,” Isobel said. She had a smile and went to kiss her again, but Maria pulled away with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Brothers? You have another brother?” Maria asked. From everything she’d heard, it was just the Evans twins and no other siblings to be seen. Hell, even when they went to the party, all of the pictures on the walls were just two parents and two children. Isobel’s face made it clear she’d said something she shouldn’t have.

“Um, yeah. Michael is my brother. We were adopted,” she said, leaving an empty space that Maria’s brain finished. But Michael wasn’t.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. We found each other after we were separated, that’s all that matters,” she said simply, her voice fading as she spoke. Her hands idly tucked Maria’s hair behind her ear all while she avoided eye contact.

“Can I ask you something?” Maria asked softly. Isobel nodded. “Why do you have a reputation of dating a lot of people and breaking up with them?”

Isobel huffed a laugh, tilting her head back and looking at the roof of the car. Maria waited patiently for her to find the words.

“I… I can’t help it, I guess,” she whispered softly, “I want… I don’t know, I want someone so bad sometimes. Like I want a relationship, I want to be with someone and to connect with someone. I want someone like me. But then once I see that they aren’t and they’re getting too close to me and my brothers, I end it. I can’t risk their sa‒I can’t risk being weak.”

“Being in a relationship doesn’t make you weak,” Maria tried, but Isobel shook her head.

“No, look, I can’t explain it to you. There’s something about us that… We’re different and that’s as far as I can explain it to you right now,” Isobel said. And she was right. Maria didn’t get it, but she seemed so sincere that it was hard to do anything but take her word. She already knew they were psychic‒she could understand that there was something else. “I’m just… They are my first priority. Letting someone in is just… not a good idea.”

“You sound like their mother,” Maria commented softly, though she was hanging onto Isobel’s words. Isobel smiled.

“I feel like it sometimes, but that’s not it. We take care of each other. We’re all we have,” she said. And then she took a deep breath and looked towards Maria. “Then I met you.”

“Oh yeah?” Maria hummed, smiling effortlessly.

“Yeah,” Isobel said, her serious face never wavering, “I think… Well, I know I’m comfortable with you. I feel safe. I don’t think fuck with me or my brothers. I trust you. Is that crazy?”

“No,” Maria said, smiling so wide it hurt her cheeks. The Ice Queen Isobel Evans trusted her. That had her heart pounding in her chest. “I trust you too.”

Isobel relaxed finally and gave a small smile her way before giving her a really sweet kiss. It had Maria reeling. How could anyone think poorly of Isobel when she was this sweet?

She moved in for another kiss.

“Has she figured it out yet?”

Maria rolled her eyes at the question Liz asked. Weeks had passed and nothing was going bad. Actually, things were going great. Liz and Alex were, for the most part, really great friends. You know, when they weren’t reminding her of their shitty idea, though she had a theory it was because neither of them had successfully managed to find a way to date Isobel’s brothers yet. But Isobel herself was a godsend. The longer she was with her, the more she couldn’t understand any hatred. She was heavenly. It was worth all the pitiful looks she got from people in the halls who were expecting her to be dumped.

“No, she hasn’t and she isn’t going to,” Maria insisted even when Liz gave her a doubtful look, “Seriously, Isobel isn’t going to find out.”

“Isobel isn’t going to find out about what?”

Maria and Liz snapped their heads in the direction of the voice to find big, bad, sexy/scary Michael Guerin. Maria was almost too distracted that he was actually speaking to process his words. Even though she hung around him a lot, she didn’t recall him ever actually speaking. He was either asleep or communicating via various grunts and hand gestures.

“Are you actually speaking right now?” Liz asked, following Maria’s thought process. Michael’s face seemed to be set in a glare.

“Isobel isn’t going to find out about what?” he repeated. Maria licked her lips nervously and she shared a look with Liz. What could she do? She could lie, but she didn’t think it would work. Isobel had already confided in her that they were all psychic, so he would easily know if she was lying. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Okay.”

Michael turned on his heels and began stalking off. Maria didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that he was going to tell Isobel that she was up to something. She instantly raced after him or, rather, raced to get to Isobel first. She’d rather it come from her than for Michael to tell her she was being suspicious. That would be so much worse.

Even if all of this was bad.

“Isobel!” she called once she spotted her, Michael already a few steps ahead. The world seemed to move in slow motion as Isobel smiled at her before turning her attention to Michael.

“She’s lying to you,” Michael said simply, making himself something of a barrier between the two women. Maria wanted to slam her head against a wall.

“What are you talking about?” she said, confusion in her eyes as she looked to Maria. And Maria could try to lie, but, fuck, what was the point anymore? She sighed, letting her face drop against her hand. “Maria?”

“I don’t know what it is, but she is. I heard her talking to Liz,” Michael recited, sounding too much like a desperate child running to his mother. And, like a mother, Isobel held out her hand. He grabbed it willingly and she swapped their places, protectively tucking him behind her as she stepped up to Maria.

“What is he talking about?” Isobel asked carefully. Maria felt a little sick.

“Listen, before I even tell you, I want to say that our entire relationship from almost day one was real. I promise. Everything I told you is real,” Maria insisted. She could virtually see Isobel’s walls build. “But… originally, the plan was to break your heart like you do to everyone else. Alex and Liz taught me how to get your attention and how to flirt with you.”

Isobel furrowed her eyebrows, taking a step back and pressing into Michael.

“But I told them I didn’t want to because I actually like you. Seriously, it was so fucking stupid, but once we actually talked, I… I like you. It was a stupid idea, they just wanted to get back at you for hurting Rosa and, well, everyone else. But I swear, it wasn’t like that. That was just… the beginning,” Maria tried to explain. Michael looked almost as hurt as Isobel.

“Alex wanted that?” he whispered, but Isobel shook her head and he looked away as if a silent pledge not to make it about him.

“You didn’t even fucking know me. Neither of them knows me either. That’s actually‒” Isobel cut herself off, closing her eyes and taking a slow breath like she did so many times when she wanted to gather her thoughts. “You know what, I don’t owe you my energy.”

Maria watched with a pained heart as Isobel walked away.

“We can make her a cake.”

“Bring her balloons.”

“A muffin basket! She can’t say no to a muffin basket!”

Maria groaned, burying her face further into the pillow as she listened to Alex and Liz ramble off ideas on how to get Isobel back. They didn’t seem to get that she had managed to gain Isobel’s trust and then immediately told her ‘ha ha I only did that to hurt you on purpose’. That wasn’t exactly a forgivable offense. All she knew was that she was hoping she wasn’t too hurt.

“I don’t think that’s going to get my girlfriend back,” she grumbled. She didn’t know what would other than giving her time. If even that.

“Okay, but she does have to realize that she was a bitch and it wasn’t that outlandish for someone to want to see her torn down,” Alex said. Maria could hear Liz slap his arm right after.

“That doesn’t make what we did right,” Liz scolded. Maria sighed desperately.

“Look, I’m really thinking a muffin basket will work. It made Michael forgive me for being a dick,” Alex tried again.

“Maybe… Maybe we should just go apologize to her.”

“I don’t know if that would actually help,” Maria admitted. Isobel was closed off for a reason. While Maria didn’t have a complete understanding on the full reason for it, she knew enough to know that she had done nothing but made it worse.

“Well… she deserves to hear it.”

Maria groaned when she realized she had a point. Even though it wouldn’t actually get Maria anywhere, she knew that Isobel did deserve an apology. While it had been real for their entire relationship, she knew she would feel hurt if she found out the only reason some gave her the time of day was to be malicious.

“Fine. I will.”

Maria had to swallow any pride she had left as she walked up to the Evans’ residence the next day. She hated having to do this, hated having to apologize for something she didn’t even really want to do in the first place. But she knew that she had done wrong and needed to apologize for it.

So she knocked on the door.

Max opened the door and while he had always had a pretty high opinion of her, he didn’t anymore. Which she guessed she deserved. Well, didn’t guess. She did deserve it.

“Can I speak to Isobel?” she asked softly. He pursed his lips.

“I don’t know.”

“Max, move.” Isobel’s voice was as sharp as ever and it easily got Max to move out of the way.

Standing in the doorway with the sunlight hitting her just so, Isobel looked just as stunning as she did when she wasn’t feeling betrayed. Maria was thankful that she didn’t look too broken.

“I… I just wanted to apologize. I can stand here and give you excuses, but there’s no point. I fucked up when I agreed to go into it to hurt you and that’s all on me. The moment I actually had a conversation with you, I decided it was done with, but that didn’t mean that my original intentions weren’t malicious and I can’t take that back. I understand if you don’t want to speak to me anymore, but I really am sorry. We all are,” Maria explained sincerely. Isobel nodded.

“I know, they sent me a muffin basket this morning,” she said, a slightly amused smile on her face. Maria held back a groan. “If it helps, I know I kind of deserved it. I am a massive bitch to almost everyone in that school.”

“So what? That doesn’t give me the right to be horrible,” Maria said. Isobel smiled as she leaned against the doorway.

“I do know you were sincere in our relationship, by the way,” Isobel said, “I wouldn’t let just anyone in. I’ve read you a couple times. I know it was real.” Maria tried not to feel too embarrassed by that.

“Yeah, it was. Is. It is real. But I understand you not wanting to be with me,” Maria said. Isobel leaned against the wall.

“Could I read you a few more times?” she asked. There was something in her voice that felt like there was more to it, but Maria didn’t look too far into it. There was no point. Somethings she just wasn’t close enough to know.

“Yeah, of course,” Maria agreed.

“And, if I like what I see,” Isobel paused, giving her a once over, “Could we start over?”

Maria blinked a few times as she tried to process what she was hearing. How had this apology turned into Isobel asking for a second chance? That wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Why would you want that? I hurt you, I lied, I‒”

“Genuinely like and care about and wanted to impress your new friends. I can understand it. I’ve done worse for less,” she said and that was another thing Maria decided not to question. She was happy enough with the prospect of getting another chance.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Isobel said, opening the door a bit wider, “You wanna come in for a reading?”

Maria knew this could go badly. She knew so damn well that this could easily be Isobel fucking with her, that this could be where the real heartbreak came in. But when Isobel gave her that smile, how could she ever say no?

“By all means, lead the way.”

#ladiesofrnmweek2019 #lofrnmweek2019 #maribel #maribel fic #rnm #rnm fic #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico fic #isobel evans #isobel evans fic #maria deluca #maria deluca fic #i'm sorry this is late!#also this was supposed to be a mean girls au but idk what happened

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amazingmsme · 5 years

Text

Even in Death, I’m Watching You Kid

WARNING: Major Far From Home & Endgame spoilers, so you’ve been warned. Hope you enjoy!

Peter had to rush home as soon as he saw the broadcast in Time Square. The Daily Bugle had it out for him since day one, and now because of Mysterio's message, they twisted the truth to turn him into a villain. In reality, he was just a nervous kid doing his best to save everyone. He climbed in through the window of their apartment, and ran to May. He ripped off the mask, tears of fear streaming down his face as he ran into her arms.

"I saw the news, are you okay?" she asked in a panic, stroking his hair to comfort him. He shook his head.

"E-everyone knows. The whole world knows May, a-and n-now, they think I'm a b-bad guy," he choked out between sobs. The phone had started ringing, and once it started, it pretty much rang nonstop. Tons of messages flew in on all his social media and his email inbox was quickly flooding. Everyone wanted to know the truth.

His phone started ringing, and he was afraid to answer until he saw who it was. "Happy?"

"Hey kid, I just heard the news." He sounded worried and a little sad.

"They know who I am, and everyone hates me now." His eyes were red and puffy, and his hair was messy from running his hands through it.

"Kid calm down, listen to me," Happy started off slow, making sure Peter took some deep breaths before continuing. "We're gonna help you through this, alright? We're not gonna let him ruin your life from the grave. I already talked to Fury and he's brainstorming ways to clear your name. Your an Avenger, and he's not just gonna let the media rip you apart without a fight. Pepper's already talking to news sources and is starting to try and clear things up. Don't worry, she's an expert at that kind of stuff, she did it for Tony all the time."

A lump formed in Peter's throat at the mention of his name. He swallowed it down and forced out an, "Okay, thanks Happy."

"We'll get through this Peter." He nodded, even though he couldn't see him.

"Bye Happy."

"Bye."

He hung up and looked at May. She had been staring at him, her whole body tense as she chewed her nails.

"I don't know what to do." He sounded broken and hopeless.

"We'll figure it out. But for now, let's stay at the compound, we'll probably be safer there." He nodded and they loaded into her car. The drive upstate was tense and silent, the only sound being the music from the radio.

Happy greeted them at the compound and welcomed them in, telling them to make themselves at home. May was able to stay in Vision's old room, right next to Peter's.

It wasn't the first time he had been to the compound. He had been there quite a few times before the Blip, but it was a lot more empty. It felt weird for such a large building to hold so few people. It was like seeing those pictures of abandoned malls: once teeming with life and energy now hollow and slightly menacing. It felt wrong.

He saw two people down the hall and walked towards them curiously. He was only slightly shocked to see Bucky and Sam. He knew Sam was the new Cap, and the nerves instantly hit him just like when he had met Steve. He hadn't really left things off on a good foot with them, and now because of the news, he wasn't sure where they stood. He was about to back track when Bucky noticed him.

"Hey you're Spider-Man right? We met at the airport, remember?" He had a wide smile on his face and Peter froze, unable to form words.

"I-uh-"

"You kicked our ass?"

"I thought I held my own pretty well," Sam mumbled before turning to face the startled teen.

"I remember," he squeaked out. Sam smirked.

"Damn you look pretty young, how old were you when we fought?"

"Fift-fourteen," he had started to lie, but stopped halfway. Bucky let out a low whistle and chuckled.

"Can't believe I got my ass handed to me by someone who can't even legally drive. I'm Bucky," he held out his hand to shake, followed by Sam. Peter took them, "Nice to meet you sirs."

A beat passed, and a heaviness filled the air. Sam gripped his shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. "I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah I guess so," he said, though he sounded unsure.

"It's okay, everyone know's the Daily Bugle is shit, and that Mysterio guy popped up out of nowhere! He has no credit to his name, and everyone knows Spider-Man. You've done a lot of good for the world, and people don't easily forget that," Sam reassured.

Bucky slung his metal arm over his shoulder, and Peter flinched slightly. Bucky backed up, but Peter made sure he knew he was okay. "It was just cold."

"Well in that case," Bucky said and pressed his hand to the nape of his neck, making him squeal. He chuckled, "Seriously though, we all got your back. We were fugitives after the little spat on the tarmac, but there were still plenty of people who defended us, especially Steve 'cause, well, he was a famous hero. And you are too, don't think that everyone's gonna turn on you over one thing. And not everyone believes what they see on the news."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Hell, I was an assassin and I'd say I've been accepted back into society pretty well, so I think you'll do fine. And if not, you got a whole team rooting for you kid." He ruffled his hair before Peter could swat him away.

"I am curious though, what did happen in Europe?" Sam asked.

"It's a long story."

Sam looked at his wrist lacking a watch, "I got time. And something tells me you need to get it off your chest." And so Peter told them almost everything. He made sure to leave out the parts about his crush on MJ and getting caught undressing with a foreign girl, he knew they'd do nothing but tease him for it. He explained the extravagant lie that Quentin had created and how he posed as a friend and hero, using Tony's tech to create the elementals and putting everyone in danger. When he finished, the men were in shock. Sam was the first to speak.

"Damn, that's rough." Peter nodded. Bucky looked at him.

"I didn't get to know Tony, but I wish I had. I feel like we could've been friends, and I don't blame him or you for what happened. His anger was justified, and he was a pretty good man. I can tell you meant a lot to him, and I think he'd be proud of you." Peter's eyes filled with tears that he tried to fight back.

"Thanks."

"That Mysterio guy is a fucking lunatic with a bad superiority complex, I don't think many people will believe him. Do you have a plan to try and clear your name? Do some damage control?" Sam questioned. Peter shrugged.

"I don't know, it's really overwhelming and scary. What if they don't believe me?"

Bucky sighed. "I'm gonna be honest with ya kid: not everyone will. But there will be plenty who do, and in time, people won't really care. There will be bigger threats, and you'll do something to win back their hearts."

"Yeah people are pretty easily won over by someone in a costume," Sam said. They left him sitting on the couch. It was getting pretty late, and he was exhausted from the day he had. He and May ate take out and he went to his room to sleep and hopefully when he woke, this would all be a bad dream. He gave him a tight hug before letting him go. He collapsed on his bed and was greeted by the comforting darkness of sleep.

When he opened his eyes, he was back in his bedroom in Queens. He sat up groggily and looked around, freezing when he saw a familiar figure hunched over at his desk. There was no doubt, it was him. He bolted upright and stood to his feet. His limbs felt heavy and everything was in slow motion. He choked out, "M-Mr. Stark?"

He turned around at the sound of his name being called and smiled. "Hey Pete."

Peter rushed into his arms and started crying into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Mr. Stark, I messed up. I-I gave away EDITH to someone I thought was more capable but he was bad and people got hurt and it's all my fault! I stopped the drones and broke the illusion and Mysterio died but he blamed it all on me and I don't know what to do! He told everyone who I was and now villains know who I am a-and I put May and my friends in danger! I messed it all up, I'm so sorry, I wish you were here," he rambled.

Tony rubbed a gentle hand up and down Peter's back to calm him down. "I know Pete. That's why I came." He pulled away so that he could look him in the eye, a comforting yet firm grasp on his shoulders. "I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty pissed when I watched you give away EDITH. I gave her to you for a reason, and you doubted yourself and my decision. But to your credit, you woke up and did what you could to stop him. And you did a damn good job too."

Peter stared at him, eyes wide and taking in every word he said.

"You're your own worst critic it sounds like, but that JJJ guy sure does give you a run for your money," he joked. Peter let out a sad, hiccupy chuckle. "Take it from someone who's been in deep shit more times than I can count, there's always a way out. Whether you gotta sift through the shit with your hands, dig yourself out with a shovel, or if some rich genius digs you out with a crane, you'll find a way out." Peter's nose crinkled in disgust, and Tony laughed. "Not the most pleasant analogy, I know, but I hope you get my point. Now I'm not there anymore, but if I was you bet your ass I would fight with everything I have to clear up what happened. As much as Fury hates the press, he won't leave you out to dry. He'll do his best to defend you and clear up what happened, Maria will too. And Pepper's basically a master at damage control thanks to me, and Happy's really warmed up to you. You'll get through this, don't worry. And yeah, there's gonna be some assholes who won't believe you and might hate you, but remember, there's still plenty of people who hate me, so don't beat yourself up about it. 'Kay?"

Peter nodded, "Okay." He was still in awe that Tony was here in front of him. And he had to ask, "Is... is it really you? I mean, I'm not just making this up am I?" He knew he was dreaming. Dreams just felt different than real life, and with his spidey sense, he could tell when he was dreaming. Tony wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

"It's a fair question, I don't blame you for asking. I'd do the same if I was in your shoes. But yeah, it's me. Thought you could use some wisdom and guidance right about now." Peter nuzzled closer to him.

"Thanks Tony."

"No problem kid." Then he delivers a light smack to the back of Peter's head. He rubbed the spot with his hand.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Tong rolled his eyes, "Don't be dramatic, I know that didn't hurt. And that was for thinking Back In Black was by Led Zeppelin," he said mock seriously. Peter's brows furrowed and he tilted his head in confusion.

"You mean it's not?" Tony let out a deep sigh and ran a hand over his face. Peter noticed he didn't look as old as he did when he died. He was much younger, and the circles under his eyes didn't cut as deep. His face wasn't weathered with worry or wrinkles, and there wasn't a single gray hair in sight. He was youthful and seemed much happier than he had been in life.

Tony looked up at him with a fond smile, "You're killin' me kid."

"You're already dead Mr. Stark," he tried to keep up with the teasing atmosphere, but there was still a lingering sadness in his voice.

"Then you're just making me roll in my grave. Do me a favor Pete, and learn the classics." He clapped him on the shoulder, and Peter nodded vigorously.

"Will do Tony." A beat, and then, "I wish you were still here." Tony looked away.

"I do too kid. Honestly it felt like my life was only just beginning before it ended, but I wouldn't change what I did. Not for the world. I couldn't let him take away my family. And I couldn't let him take you away. Not again. Not when I just got you back." Peter could see the tears welling up in his eyes. "It's worth it to see you all grow and be happy." He wrapped Peter in another tight hug that he happily returned. "I'm so proud of you Peter. You'll get through this, don't give up."

"I won't."

When they pulled away, it was quiet. Tony broke the silence. "Peter, just- don't forget to live."

He nodded, "I won't."

Tony looked out the window and sighed. "I gotta get back. You'd think there wouldn't be any rules in the afterlife, but everything's gotta have a killjoy."

"Bye Tony. Uh, I guess have a nice trip?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, sweet dreams to you too. Don't get any bright ideas about joining me too early," he said with an authoritative tone.

Peter shook his head, "Don't worry, I won't."

"Good. I love you Peter."

Peter felt the lump in his throat grow. "Love you too Tony."

"Tell Pep And Morgan I said hi and I love them."

"I will." With one last nod, Tony turned and walked out the window and into the sky. Peter could've sworn he saw a gilded stairway in the clouds leading to the sun. He was surrounded in a warm golden glow as he ascended, and right before he disappeared, he turned around and gave him a wave. Tears were slowly streaming down Peter's cheeks as he waved back.

He awoke with a start back in the Avengers compound. He looked around before settling back into the bed. He wasn't as anxious as he was before falling asleep, and he had a feeling that everything would be okay. He could sense it the same way he could sense that Tony would always be there, watching over him. It was nice to know that your guardian angel was none other than Iron Man himself. It would be okay.

#spiderman #sm:ffh #sm:ffh spoilers #peter parker #may parker #sam wilson #bucky barnes #happy hogan #tony stark #iron man #spiderman fic #avengers fic

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 5 years

Note

so about those descendants ocs?

Oh man okay so!!! there are a whole lot and I get more ideas literally every single day I blame @seaweedhufflepuffocs

OCs that I’ve talked about/are already on the masterlist:

Avalon Le Fay (faceclaim: Emma Dumont and sometimes Emily Rudd): Avalon was not my first descendants OC, but she’s the first one that I really thought about making into a fic! This started because SeaweedHufflepuff and I were rabbiting descendants 2 and were both thinking of Camelot based OCs and then realized that they were most definitely (platonic) soulmates and turned it into the wonderful crossover that is King And Lionheart! Avalon is the daughter of Morgana and Merlin (using the Merlin cast) and while Morgana was originally allowed to stay in Camelot - which did not join Auradon - they later (when Avalon and Nimue are infants) force her to the Isle and Morgana agrees, so long as Avalon can stay in Camelot, which they have to agree to or Camelot will declare war. Avalon struggles a lot with her identity and not knowing who her mother is, and although Nimue is her person™ and they’ve been raised their entire lives with the knowledge that Nimue will be King and Avalon will be her right hand/advisor/essentially co-ruler, Avalon has also always struggled with feeling like she’s second best. She’s my baby and I adore she and Nimue and I’m very excited to hopefully start writing this story soon

Maria Frollo (fc. Hazelle/Bellamie), Queenie (fc. Darya Lebedeva), and Helena (fc. Kimmy Schram): These girls were my first Descendants OCs, the daughters of Claude Frollo, The Queen Of Hearts, and Hades respectively. I had this idea a while ago, as I wanted to write a fic where the VKs and some of the Auradon kids have to go to the Isle post D2 and they meet the new leaders. Queenie was very much taken under Mal’s wing as a kid and Mal is very proud of them. Queenie is the leader and Helena is her right hand (and girlfriend) and Maria is basically they’re daughter tbh they adore her. I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with them but I do love them very much.

Elise Charming (fc. Lili Reinhart): Elise is Chad’s twin sister and polar opposite (well other than being preppy and a cheerleader). She truly believes in second chances and is super excited for the VKs to come to Auradon? And definitely falls in love with Evie but thinks that Evie is straight

Finley Rider (Fc. Virginia Gardner): Her name is Princess Finley Ryder - Corona is officially part of Auradon but they still have their own royal line. When she was ten she was at some fancy gala party at the museum and got really bored, and got caught stealing Jafar’s staff (no one noticed that she also got both lamps) and she gets sent to the Isle on one of the shipping barges, and the first person she meets is Jay. Once they’re a bit closer and she’s been officially accepted into the VK circle, she tells him that she still has both of the lamps, Jay makes her promise not to tell anyone else and they’ll keep them as a last resort bargaining stool. And then they get summoned to auradon (she’s not supposed to go but Jay convinces Jafar who convinces Maleficent who “convinces” the driver) and she has to face the people who exiled her

Princess Isabelle (fc. Danielle Campbell): Ben’s twin sister, who is actually the firstborn. She believes that she should be the queen (and so does Belle) but her father insists on Ben because Isabelle is significantly harder to control. Her endgame love interest was going to be Mal but now I’m torn between Mal and Audrey for her.

Violet Kingston (fc. Meg Donnelly): Alice and the Hatter’s daughter who gets sent to Auradon to investigate an attempted assassination of the White Queen. Very unimpressed with Auradon and likes Wonderland a lot better, thinks that the VKs are pretty cool, gets shoved into a dorm with Mal and Evie because there wasn’t really enough space

OCs that I haven’t talked about:

there are actually a lot more than just these but I keep losing track so hopefully @seaweedhufflepuffocs can help me remember them lmao

Harley Hook (fc. maybe Madison McLaughlin, open to ideas): Harry’s younger (by a year) sister. She was part of Uma’s crew and loved it but then she gets chosen to go to Auradon? She kind of hates the VKs and really wants nothing to do with any of this, she just wants to go back to her brother and her crew and her boyfriend Gil. Except that they sort of broke up when she got chosen because they didn’t think they’d ever see each other again. And she starts to fall for Jay and is torn between the Crew, the VKs, and Auradon

Lani (fc. Madelaine Petsch): Melody’s daughter, the first second generation child to be born, and to go to Auradon Prep. She’s half part of Auradon (because of Eric’s kingdom) but also Atlantian which is still separated, and she’s trying to unite the two but is being torn apart by it

A daughter of Hercules who the fates predicted would be evil and is therefore sent to the isle as an infant and is raised by Hades but then Ben includes her in the group being brought to Auradon

A daughter of the Fates (their scissors are seen in the Villain Room of the museum) who was raised on the Isle

A daughter of Hans, plot TBD

A daughter of Lady Tremaine - much younger than the other two, only a couple of years older than Dizzy. She and Dizzy are extremely close but are separated when she’s brought to Auradon. I’ve been thinking maybe Lana Condor as the FC just because Lana and Anna have already played sisters once and because she has some awesome dark leather isle looks and cute preppy auradon looks. Probably also treated badly by Lady Tremaine, ends up becoming quite close with Cinderella during that first family day where everything went wrong.

A daughter of Gaston, either Gil’s twin or little sister, and I don’t really have much of a plot for her except that she becomes quite close with Belle (I think that she would have been majorly mistreated by Gaston and Belle can tell as soon as they meet) and Adam really hates that

A daughter of Fairy Godmother (fc. probably India Eisley or Emily Rudd): in a slight AU where the Beast is honestly really dark, FG has twin daughters and he forces her to send one to the Isle (I’m not sure if it’s specifically because they’d be magic or if there’s a one child rule because he doesn’t want anyone being able to overthrow him) but FG hides her away somewhere instead? Or she does go to the Isle but then escapes in D3 when the VKs and Pirates leave after visiting Hades. I have very little plot beyond that but in D3 when Jane and co find the statue of FG, Jane thinks of getting the wand, but when she goes in she sees this girl taking it (and not being stopped by the shield because she has the same blood) and discovers that she has a twin, and then they overthrow the beast or something

Thank you for this ask, I love talking about my Descendants OCs, I just need to remember the other ideas that I have lmao

Forever Tag List: @themildestofwriters @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz @dancerdramatic14 @seaweedhufflepuffocs @iceandwaterfairytail - want to be added to the forever/fandom/character tag lists for fics or all content? shoot me an ask!

Descendants Tag List: @katiesocs

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hamilton-one-shots · 5 years

Text

Hamilton High School AU 101

When he finally woke up, it was hours later, to the sound of people letting themselves into the room.

“I told you we should’ve waited for a response,” Alexander whispered. “Laf always answers when we knock.”

“Yeah, because I know exactly how Lafayette acts at home,” Thomas snapped back, also keeping his voice down.

“Can you two stop arguing for once? We can always come back later and check on them,” Hercules interjected, already tired of dealing with their bickering.

John rolled onto his back and sat up, smiling at the audience that had gathered. “Hey.. I’m alive, it’s fine.” He got up and lead them out of the room, letting Lafayette sleep.

“How are you feeling, sunshine?” Thomas asked softly.

“I’m alright. A little sore, but I can take painkillers for that.” He walked into his guest room and sat down, Alexander sitting right beside him and Hercules sitting a bit farther down while Thomas stayed standing, taking in the room for the first time. He’d never been in there, but it was kind of what he imagined. Simple, very clean, but definitely lived in, and... a turtle tank?

He walked over and watched the little turtle swim around, smiling a bit. “I didn’t know you finally got that turtle you always wanted,” he muttered.

“Terrapin,” Alexander corrected. “We got him when we started dating... There were two, but..” It still kind of hurt to think about the little guy.

“Sorry to hear that.” And, surprisingly enough, he meant that. He knew how John must’ve felt and he had an idea about Alexander’s feelings about what had happened, seeing as he did get to see first hand how he felt after his rat had died.

“Thanks,” Alexander muttered, about half convinced. He was sure Thomas didn’t just not care about their turtle dying, but he probably didn’t care as much as he seemed to.

Thomas sat down on the other side of the bed, behind John, and sighed. “I have to go soon.. Are you coming back to your apartment tonight?”

“Yeah..” John grabbed his backpack. “But we are definitely not making rehearsals today,” he said with a small laugh. “The doctor said we can tomorrow, as long as we’re careful, but not tonight.”

Thomas smiled and nodded. “I get it.”

John slung his bag over his shoulder and began to stand up when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Can I come with you?..” Alexander asked hopefully.

“Of course you can,” John said with a smile. “It’ll keep Maria from worrying about me anyways,” he joked as Alexander got up and got his own bag.

“Wow, now I see why you keep me around,” Alexander joked back, going to his room to grab a change of clothes.

John chuckled and looked back at Thomas. “You’re still welcome over..”

Thomas nodded, hiding his hesitation. John broke his wrist. He didn’t need to also worry about whether or not Alexander and Thomas were getting along. “Thanks, sunshine. I’ll drop Lucy off at Maria’s, then I can swing by after drama.” He kissed John’s cheek and left the room with him, Alexander joining as they walked down the stairs and out of the door.

The three piled into Thomas’s car and headed down to the elementary school, waiting for Lucy to come out.

“So..” Alexander began. “Um.. Thomas, maybe you could join us?” he offered softly. He knew he couldn’t keep John down on his own and, besides, it was about time they started getting along, wasn’t it?

“You mean, like.. Like staying with you at John’s place? I thought you’d want some alone time.”

Alexander shrugged. “With John’s broken wrist, we’ll need a second person if we want him cuddled at all times.” Anyone who knew John knew nothing would keep him still.

John smiled and looked back at Alexander. “You don’t have to do that.. I can always spend time with Thomas later..”

Alexander shook his head. “No.. No, we should try to get along better.”

John was beyond pleasantly surprised. If he’d suggested such a thing not long ago, Alexander would begin to gag and write an essay listing every reason why that was a bad idea but now, he’s the one bringing it up. And Thomas was actually taking Alexander’s emotions into consideration, too. It was all around good. And it basically came out of nowhere. “I’m more than okay with it if you guys are fine with it.”

“I’m okay with it,” Thomas hummed, looking out the window as kids started flooding out of the school. “You guys wait right here, I’m going to get Lucy.” He got out of the car, leaving John and Alex to talk for a minute. If Alex really didn’t want him there, Thomas didn’t want him lying about it. It always lead to more bad than good, especially for John.

“So.. Why the sudden asking Thomas over? You’ve never brought it up,” John pointed out.

“I just.. I don’t know... I think we should get along at some point, why not now?”

John nodded. “Okay.. I just don’t want you to think you have to let him over..”

“I don’t. Besides, I know you won’t listen to me telling you to sit still while your wrist is in a cast,” he joked, smiling a bit.

John chuckled. “Okay, fair enough.. But I’ll be fine.”

Alexander nodded and looked outside, seeing Thomas approaching with Lucy at his feet. “I don’t doubt it.”

Thomas opened the back door and lifted Lucy into her seat, buckling her in before going and getting in the car himself and driving them back to the apartment. It was a quick and easy drop off at Maria’s apartment before the Alexander and John went up to John’s place, Thomas leaving for drama.

When they got up there, it was John, for once, who rested his head in Alexander’s lap, his broken wrist resting on a pillow on his chest and his other hand reaching back and holding one of Alexander’s.

“This is relaxing..”

Alexander nodded and ran his fingers through John’s hair, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. He’d never gotten along with Thomas, he knew that. But it was time that they at least started trying. Unfortunately, from Alexander’s point of view, their path to friendship was going to be nothing less than a stormy one.

Thomas was more worried about getting to drama practice on time, getting into the room minutes before Eacker and someone else coming in only seconds after.

“Laf?”

“Good afternoon, guys. Sorry I’m late again, but I’m here. Let’s see... What song did I say we were going to start with?”

“The SQUIP song,” Lafayette gasped out, having clearly ran there.

“Laf?.. Shouldn’t you be at home” Eacker asked, Already knowing the answer.

“Technically yes, but I didn’t want you guys to have to change the whole schedule around.. Besides, I do have painkillers and the doctor said I was okay to at least move around.”

Eacker sighed. He could deal with Laf once he got everyone else settled down. “Well, you should know that the song we were planning to begin with was The SQUIP Enters, not The SQUIP Song.”

Lafayette sighed and took his seat. “I always get those two mixed up,” he muttered.

Eacker gave him a sympathetic smile before calling up Francis, Thomas, and their Christine and Jake.

“It’s a simple scene, so I think you guys should get it pretty quickly, but it is also the first scene where we see our SQUIP.”

The students all nodded and took their places, starting the scene.

As they did, Eacker took a seat beside Lafayette. “You know, you really should be home right now.. Your mother called ahead and said that you weren’t coming this afternoon. And I was there earlier, you know..”

“I know.. But-”

“No buts, Laf.. I don’t like being stern, but I’m going to have to ask you to go home.”

Lafayette frowned. “But-”

Eacker shook his head. “No, Laf. It’s okay, we can save your scenes for tomorrow. We’re doing the same for John.”

Lafayette sighed and grabbed his bag, walking out of the classroom silently. At least he could see Hercules.. But before he could even get off of school grounds, Martha pulled up beside him in her car.

“Get in..” she said, sighing. She knew Laf didn’t like sitting around and letting others take care of him. She knew that this was going to be just as difficult for him as it would be for John, if not more so.

Lafayette got in the car and put on his seatbelt, keeping his head down. “Can I go see Hercules?..”

“Of course you can.. But I want you spending the night at home today, okay?”

“Okay..” he muttered, looking out the window as Martha began driving.

The first few minutes were silent, heavy as Lafayette began to realize just how much he wasn’t able to do anymore. No driving himself, no legible writing, and that’s just the surface of it. “On second thought, I just want to go home,” he rushed out. “I just... I don’t know..” Hercules was particularly awful at walking the fine line between spoiling Lafayette and treating him like he was helpless. Lafayette didn’t have the heart to tell him, but he also couldn’t exactly handle it in his current state. So... Maybe it was best to just hide for the moment.

And Martha understood. She put a supportive hand on Lafayette’s shoulder, but didn’t say anything else during the drive home.

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #fanfiction #john laurens #lafayette #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #hercules mulligan #lams #thaurens #jamilams #mullette #101 #chapter 101

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pieman1112 · 4 years

Text

To think the years flied that quickly. Chrom is now thirty and a father of three beautiful children–well, six if you count the future kids. He is a very lucky man and Chrom knows it. He was lucky since day one. He had Emmeryn to guide him when he was inexperienced and rash. She passed away but he was lucky yet again to meet Rebecca and Spartan; these two were and still his supporters. Every day he is thankful to everything he has (and will have.) He fell in despair but found love to ward off his demons. He felt lonely but now he has a big family. How can he not be happy anymore? True that he still wishes his big sister lived to see this, lived to have her own happiness.

Chrom had ended one of the meetings he had with an ambassador from Plegia to settle down on some business discussion related to the previous taxes and blocked trading routes between Ylisse and Plegia and Plegia with Ferox. It was hectic but thankfully, by the years, he could tell that the new young people who are leading in Plegia are better compared to the old farts who ruled before. They are somewhat open-minded and willing to have a decent conversation. That’s aside, he is glad that this meeting was over before nightfall. True that dusk was slowly creeping but compared to yesterday or before it, this is quite early.

The king left the superficial matters in Frederick’s hands and exited the room to walk down the long corridors back to his chamber. In his way, he stopped to have a look in the garden thinking he might find someone but he didn’t. He only found the gardener who told the king that the princess and the prince were here not long time ago but the Queen came and fetched them since it was getting cold. Chrom smiled and thanked the gardener and turned around to head back to his original destination.

On his way, he assumed he would hear the kids’ voices ringing in the chamber but it was oddly quiet. He also thought he might find at least Lucina waiting to ambush him when he turned the corner where she usually sits to jump attack him. He brushed it off and continued but he was stopped by (older) Thomas whose cheeks were on fire as he was panting. Chrom quickly questioned the young man but he told him he climbed the stairs as quick as he can to catch up with his father. Chrom raised an eyebrow and still questioned what for he did that and Thomas simply hooked his arm to his father’s arm and giddily dragged him to his chamber. Chrom was still confused but he let Thomas guide him because he knew something is most likely planned by him (gosh, he takes after his mother in that department…not that Chrom minds; actually he is very happy to have his kids look more like and act like rebecca.)

Thomas opened the door with his free hand and pulled Chrom in and the first thing he saw (the sliding door was removed thanks to the kids meddling in their room) Rebecca laying on the bed, (older) Maria to one side and the rest of the kids by order, Lucina, (younger) Thomas and (baby Maria) sitting in Rebecca’s lap as she is telling them a story–probably something from her own world. Thomas grinned happily and went to snuggle beside Rebecca on the other side. Chrom stood there for a moment, taking that scene in. It’s….beautiful? Really…there are no words to describe what he is seeing…if only Lucina stayed as well but he can’t force her to stay in here if it brings her pain. He’s at least thankful Thomas and Maria decided to stay until they figure out what they want to do for themselves, just like their big sister.

Rebecca laughed quietly when she saw Chrom standing there, astonished and lost of words. She called his name and told him he should take off his clothes and come snuggle with them because her story is just getting to the plot twist and he’ll miss it. Chrom sighed inwardly, offering a smile back to his wife and did what she suggested. He took off his coat and boots and crawled to the bed but no one was going to offer him a place near Rebecca until Maria huffed and told him to scoot closer where she sat down his lap and told him to stay quiet so mama can continue her story. Chrom obediently did what his daughter told him to do…wait….why he feels like his kids have him wrapped around their fingers? ….Eh. Who cares.

Now that everyone in place, Rebecca giggled patting Maria’s head and thanking her for giving her place for her father. Maria looked up at Chrom and told him that Hunter said that being kind to people will circle back to her, while nodding to confirm her obtained knowledge. Chrom laughed and patted her head and told her that grandfather is right. However, the other children did not like the hold-up and started to fuss up for Rebecca to continue. Rebecca calmed them down and told them to be good kids or she will stop. Everyone went silent and waited for Rebecca to continue. But first, she leaned her body against Chrom’s, tilting her head to the side, stealing a kiss then off she continued her story. Thomas coughed violently telling Rebecca how gross that was and Maria totally missed that because she was playing with Lucina when it happened. Chrom, meanwhile, had his cheeks bright red because naga’s mercy..she did it again. He can never be prepared for her and…honestly…he does not want to be prepared…this is just fine. He loves it the way it is. His left arm wrapped around Rebecca’s shoulders pulling her close when Thomas raised Chrom’s arm and scooted even closer to be part of the hug. A fit of laughter filled the room before it calmed down and soon after Rebecca’s voice was the only voice that was heard as she continued her story.

@convxction

The years during and after the war were mixed for Rebecca. Like everything in life, there were the ups and the downs. One of the best moments was when Rebecca met her husband Chrom and fell in love. They had three beautiful children as well. Lucina, Thomas, and Maria. They were growing up so fast. There were also the bad times like when the war started. Rebecca was so frightened about losing her husband or any of their children. There was also the end of the war when the UNSC found them after all those years. Rebecca and 197 knew what it would come to and it was very hard to explain to Young Lucina and Young Thomas why grandpa 197 had to leave but he left and it was the first time Rebecca had been separated from her father. Thankfully she had Chrom to help her. Then there was the more recent event when Rebecca tried to find Future Lucina only to find a letter saying that she left. It broke Rebecca’s heart to hear that Future Lucina had left. Even though Future Lucina wasn’t technically her daughter, Rebecca still regarded her as such.

Now a days she has so many more duties than when she was a Marine. Being Ylisse’s queen was a job and a half. She had meetings to attend to, local lords that would always try to have her go behind Chrom’s back an reinstated the old court system, citizens to talk to. There were even formal balls that she had to attend and getting her children ready for them was a task in of itself. Still she couldn’t complain to much. As long as she is with Chrom and their kids, nothing could be better.

Today was a day she thankfully had no royal duties to attend to. So she went exploring the castle to find her family. She knew Chrom would be busy as he was meeting with a Plegian diplomat. It was winter time so she knew that her children would be playing in the garden. Her hunch was right and soon she found her wonderful children throwing snow balls and building snowmen. She called out to them as they had been playing for a while and told them to come inside. She laughed a little as she was met with complaints about wanting to play longer but she said that if they came she would tell them a story and that got them to come inside.

She began to tell the tale of how their grandfather, the tough and stoic Spartan-197, gained the name of Pieman during his basic training. She made them all promise to never call their grandfather that when he visited. She began her story about what her father went through in boot camp. He and the other spartan recruits were doing running drills and other exercises. During one of those running laps, Hunter had felt that something was off. There were people who weren’t suppose to be there. He warned the others that something was wrong and they were soon attacked by these mysterious She paused her story when Thomas got up to leave asking where he was going. He replied that he was going to get Chrom. She gave a nod and watched as he left. In the mean time she talked about what her world looked like compared to Ylisse. The children couldn’t believe what they were hearing about.

When Chrom came into the room, Rebecca’s eyes laid dreamily on her husband. Ten years since they first met and still it was like she had fallen in love all over again. She gave a slight giggle as Chrom stood there and invited him to the bed. Rebecca kindly asked Maria to move and make some room for her father. Once that was done she patted her head and thanked her. The others started to get restless for Rebecca to continue the story about their grandfather. Before she started it again she leaned into to steal a kiss from her beloved husband. Her action gained an exaggerated response from her only son Thomas. She couldn’t help but smile and booped his nose.

“Some day you will find some one you want to kiss.” She said lightheartedly.

The group came in for a hug and laughed. Then Rebecca went to finish her story.

“As Grandpa hunter and the others were under attack, there was a nearby cart of pies that were being delivered for that evenings dinner. With his quick thinking he used the pies to distract the mysterious strangers and soon the other spartan recruits did the same. They held out until the Drill Sargent and other soldiers there could aid them. Thus he earned the name Pieman. The heroic Pieman had saved his squad with the help of some apple and cherry pies.” Rebecca said.

#thanks for the submission!#submission

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southside-vixen · 5 years

Text

Fire and Ice (Sweet Pea) 5

Chapter 5. Red Spray Paint

AO3

Adrianna Rivera has just made a difficult move from Arizona to the southside of Riverdale. With the history of her life in Phoenix behind her will she be able to find a new family in the Southside Serpents? Or will a certain tall, dark, and rage inducing Serpent cause issues?

A few days had passed and thankfully things finally started to quiet down. School was finally starting to return to normal and Adria still hadn’t heard a thing from her father. It was discouraging to say the least. Thoughts raced through her head ranging from ‘maybe he’s just getting released soon’ to ‘maybe someone placed a hit on him and I’m the last to hear he died from a shiv to the gut’

She couldn’t focus on anything, not like that was out of the norm lately. She was stressed to the point where her morning runs weren’t helping, she couldn’t stomach eating most times, and she would return after school to watch old reruns of telenovelas. Ness was worried to say the least, but despite all the distractions she could think of nothing seemed to help. She knew nothing would improve until Adria heard from the person she needed to most.

Ness placed a heaping plate of tamales in the center of the table, smiling at her own work. It had been ages since she last made a meal at home as she hated cooking for one. When Adria came to live with her it just became easier to order takeout. Seeing her niece depressed for the few days was making her desperate enough to cook and she figured what better than to try to make an old favorite. Tamales.

“Dinner’s ready” She called out to the living room. Adria quietly pulled herself off the couch and placed herself at the dinner table. Her eyes widened when she caught a glimpse of the giant stack on the table.

“You took a break from your cooking hiatus to make tamales?” Adria stacked a few onto her plate “Very ambitious.”

“I think I did pretty well. I followed a blog about Mexican cooking. It’s a good read”

Adria’s face lit up for the first time in days and it was enough to make Ness’ heart swell. She watched as her niece took the first bite, and her face immediately fell.

“Oh wow. It’s great, Ness.” Adria tried to choke down the rest of her bite. It was absolutely terrible. She wasn’t sure if she even soaked the corn husks before steaming them. Ness followed her lead and immediately spat the bite back out

“This is awful. Wow.” She broke down laughing “I guess this is what I get for not cooking for years. Don’t eat that, I’m gonna order pizza.” Ness took her plate and immediately scrapped the contents into the garbage.

“Thanks, Aunt Ness.” Adria got out of her chair and helped her aunt clean up the mess “The thought really means a lot. Also, Maria’s cooking is a tough act to follow so don’t feel bad.” Her father had the same cook since she was a child. Maria was basically family. It was another thing she missed so much from Phoenix. She never gave it a second thought until now, but she didn’t want to know how many people lost their jobs when her father was carted off to prison.

The mess didn’t take long to clean and soon both were munching on slices of pizza, watching Halloween. Adria had her eyes glued to the screen as Judith watched her boyfriend leave her home, not knowing that her murderer was already in the house. The tension was building as Judith turned around to see-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Adria screamed and jumped nearly a foot into the air before she picked up her phone. The caller display read ‘UNKNOWN’

“Can you press pause? I need to take this” Adria asked, feeling her heart rate starting to return to normal levels.

“Yeah of course, I’ve already seen this like five times.” Ness smiled, shooing the younger girl off

Adria returned to her room and shut the door behind her. She glanced at the screen once more before accepting the call “Hello?”

“Hola mija “her father’s voice came through the speaker and it was like the clouds finally cleared.

“Papá!” She nearly yelled “Where have you been? It’s been weeks.”

“Talking to my lawyers. I can’t say much more than that but I wanted to call you sooner.”

“Are you getting out? Please tell me you are. Aunt Ness tried to make tamales tonight and it just reminded me of how much I miss home.”

The line went quiet for half a minute before Alejandro replied “I wish I could say I was. My lawyers are doing all they can but…it’s not looking good.”

Adria tried to process it as best as she could but it just didn’t make sense. Her family’s lawyers were the best money could buy, there was nothing they weren’t able to do.

“But Papi…” Adria pleaded, hearing a chuckle from the other end of the line

“Papi or no, Mija. I promise you I will be out by your 17th birthday. I’ll even get you a new McLaren to replace the one they seized.”

Adria smiled to herself “Better be the Spider. You know I like to go fast” Maybe a little too fast, it was a good thing none of her speeding tickets ever stuck.

“I do not need to hear that” her father laughed again “You’re nearly a grown woman and I’m missing so much. Tell me about your biker aunt and her home town.” Adria rolled her eyes

“Aunt Ness is great, Papá. She even tried to make tamales tonight to make me feel better. They were terrible but the thought was there. School’s…terrible but its school. I’m making friends! We even have movie nights. They somehow roped me into watching terrible quality old films.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my daughter? The Adrianna I know would never tell me ‘it’s the thought that counts’. As much as I hate to admit it this seems to have been a good choice for you. Although I know your tíos would have loved to have you in my absence.”

There was a small series of beeps on the other end

“Unfortunately, Mija that’s my time. Te quiero. You’re growing into a strong woman and I couldn’t be more proud.”

“Te quiero, Papá”

Just like that, the line went dead. Adria placed her phone down on the night stand and flopped onto her bed. Every time her feeling of homesickness seemed to disappear it would come back with a vengeance.

“Fuck everything” She whispered to herself, staring at the ceiling.

------------------------------

The next day life went on as usual. She rode with Fangs to school, suffered through her classes, and sat down with the Serpents at lunch. When she sat down, no one even paid attention. Which was always a relief. This time, however, Sweet Pea had placed a laptop in front of them. One that was covered in duct tape. Classy.

“Ads, you’re here” Toni smiled “You’ve got to see this, the Northside’s gone crazy and now they’re making snuff films.”

“What?” Adria scooched over to Toni and glanced over her shoulder to watch some red head with an army of well-built shirtless guys behind him. Talking about some Black Hood and how they’re going to take him down.

“Snuff film?” She looked at Toni “This looks like the start to a really weird porno.”

“Hey guys.” Jughead walked up and stopped apprehensively “I guess we’re not watching funny cat videos”

Sweet Pea turned the laptop around to show him and pressed play

“We were just talking about how Fangs can earn his Serpent stripes by bringing us the head of the Northsider that posted this” he gave Fangs a pat on the back as he smirked at Jughead, as if he knew this would get a rise out of him.

“Don’t” Jughead sighed “I know this guy. He’s a football player, kind of a lame target is you ask me.” Just like that his demeanor altered “If you want to prove something, you go after the black hood”

Adria saw Toni’s eyes narrow out of the corner of her eye as Sweet Pea spoke up again

“Why would we do that? The Black Hood is only targeting Northsiders”

‘Thank God for that’ Adria thought

“As far as we’re concerned the Black Hood is doing our work for us. They’ve been blaming us for their problems for years. We’re sick of it.” Sweet Pea finished

Jughead sighed in defeat and walked off, leaving the table in a brief silence.

“Are you sure we need him here?” Sweet Pea scoffed “He’s less of a Southsider than Princess over here.”

Adria rolled her eyes.

“Not only is he blood, he’s FP’s blood. He’s one of us whether you like it or not.” Toni said “As for Adria she’s already proven herself to everyone but it seems like you didn’t get the memo.”

“Yeah. Let’s not talk about that night ever again.” Adria forced a smile, although it probably looked more like a grimace.

“Finally, something we agree on.” Sweet Pea locked eyes with her, as if daring her to say something. For once she didn’t rise to the bait.

“Shut the hell up, Sweet Pea” Toni groaned “No one’s in the mood.”

Thankfully the bell rang and released her from her what could have easily turned into her own personal hell. Adria watched as everyone picked up their bags and slowly started meandering toward their next class.

“Thanks, Toni.” Adria said as most everyone had cleared out of the cafeteria

“No problem. He’s being a huge douche and frankly I think everyone is over his shit now.” She put a hand on Adria’s shoulder “You’re one of us and everyone else thinks so. Ignore the idiot.”

Adria laughed “That really does mean a lot. Anyway, Ness is making one of her ‘specialties’ since her tamales were terrible. So if you want to come over for spaghetti tonight you’re always welcome at Casa de Rivera-Allen”

Toni made a face “Ads, I would love to but I already promised Jughead we would work on the cipher the Black Hood put out…”

“Oh…” Adria’s eyes widened “Well awesome. I hope that goes well for you.” She gave Toni a wink

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Anyone with eyes can see you’ve got a thing for the new boy. I don’t blame you, he’s cute.”

Toni blushed “It’s not like that. He’s got a girlfriend. If you looked up ‘Girl Next Door’ in the dictionary you’d find a full page picture of Betty Cooper”

“Wow. Girl Next Door, huh? Definitely not what I expected from Mr. Dark and Mysterious. I’m sure you’re more his type anyway. Only a matter of time before he sees it too.” Adria nudged Toni in the shoulder “We’ll miss you tonight but definitely tell me how it goes!”

------------------------------

That night Adria passed the time by chopping up mushrooms for her aunt’s ‘special’ spaghetti sauce. Although she wasn’t sure if Ness was allowed to call it special when the base was a store bought can of tomato sauce.

“Fuck!” Adria heard Ness grumbling with her face inside the pantry. She pulled out a can of sauce and examined it “This expired a year ago. I really should clean this whole thing out.”

Adria stopped chopping up mushrooms to look at her aunt “Anything you need me to do?”

Ness sighed “Can you stop by the bodega and pick up a couple cans of sauce? See if Fangs will go with you. I don’t want you out alone after dark.”

Adria sighed and threw on a coat “I’ll be back”

Just as she was told she paid a visit to her neighbor, pounding on his door. For a second she thought about if Fang’s parents would answer the door. Then again, that never happened. It seemed like everyone on the southside was either working multiple jobs to make ends meet or running errands for the Serpents. She probably only saw Ness as much as she did because of child services looming over their heads.

“Fangs!” She yelled

Fangs opened the door, confusion all over his face “What? Miss me already?”

“Terribly. I need someone to walk to the bodega with me. Apparently I’m too frail to go by myself.”

Fangs laughed “Have you seen yourself? Anyway what’s in it for me?”

“Ness’ spaghetti and my appreciation?”

“You got enough for 2 more? Sweet Pea and I are playing video games.”

Adria stopped in her tracks. “Sure…” apprehension was apparent in her voice, but considering she liked to consider herself sane, the idea of a serial killer out and about made her not want to go alone. Even if the bodega was a fairly short walk from the trailer park.

“Awesome!” Fangs smiled “I’ll grab Pea.”

Adria waited outside, rubbing her arms to keep herself warm. Regretting every decision she made up until this point.

Fangs exited the trailer with a disgruntled Sweet Pea following shortly behind. She wasn’t sure how to feel as he looked equally as upset about the arrangement. Honestly, she wasn’t sure how Fangs even convinced him. Especially in that short of a time.

The walk to the bodega was eerily silent. There wasn’t really anyone out on the streets and the company she kept didn’t say a word. Which was concerning but not necessarily surprising. She and Sweet Pea weren’t one to talk to each other by choice and Fangs must not have felt like keeping the peace tonight. Or maybe he was trying to avoid the fact that the awkward silence was his fault for inviting Sweet Pea in the first place.

Adria was now determined to make the trip as quick as possible. In addition to practically running to keep pace with the two boys, she quickly grabbed a couple cans of sauce from the store. She shot a quick text to Ness letting her know they would have two additional people for dinner tonight. All she got back in return was a string of smiley face emojis.

Adria met back up with Fangs and Sweet Pea outside, both of which seemed significantly less tense without her. The two were throwing play punches when they saw her.

“Ready to go?” Fangs smiled “I’m starving”

“Yeah of course” Adria raised the bag for both to see “Got the goods right here.”

The trio rounded the corner only for Sweet Pea to stop all of them

“What the fuck is this?”

Not even 20 feet away from them was the redhead from the snuff/porn video spray painting something onto the side of the bodega. Fangs looked and Sweet Pea and both of them seemed to reach a silent agreement. They weren’t leaving without showing this kid who ran this side of the tracks.

Adria followed the two as they stormed up to the red head and squared off. Adria wasn’t sure what was going to happen but she knew it wasn’t anything good. She stood next to Sweet Pea and Fangs ready to watch the entire scene play out.

“What do you think you’re doing” Sweet Pea shoved the guy’s shoulder so he was facing the group “Southside’s Serpent country.”

“Back off” The guy said “This doesn’t involve you.”

“Yeah?” Sweet Pea smirked “And who’s this for then? Hell, don’t tell me it’s for the Black Hood” he chuckled

The red head tried to walk away but both Sweet Pea and Fangs shoulder checked him, keeping him in place

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sweet Pea continued “You think you can just come here and tag our turf? Go back to the Northside”

“Move before someone gets hurt.” His eyes moved from Fangs, to Sweet Pea, and then locked onto Adria. Almost like he didn’t notice she was there until just now.

Both Sweet Pea and Fangs looked at each other and laughed. Adria was in awe of this kid. Didn’t he know that messing with any sort of gang was usually a bad idea?

Sweet Pea pulled a switch blade out of his coat pocket and released the knife “You’ve just made a big mistake” his smile was easy to see, even in the dark. It was clear he was in his element. As much as Adria would never admit it to a living soul he looked really good doing it. She scolded herself internally.

The guy’s eyes narrowed as he reached into the pocket of his hoodie. None of them expected him to pull out a gun and wave it in their faces

“Who made a mistake?” His voice grew louder to the point where he was yelling. All three were in a state of shock, Adria worst of all. Fangs immediately put his hands into the air, while Sweet Pea lowered his knife.

Adria, however, froze. She never in a million years imagined herself in this position, even with her father’s profession. She always had a sicario or two with her to keep watch but even then no one who wanted to live would dare threaten Alejandro Rivera’s only daughter. Even people who had a death wish didn’t want a death as painful as what waited for them if they so much as looked at her the wrong way.

Before she could even process how to react Sweet Pea grabbed her arm and moved her behind him

“Woah, Woah” he took a step back “In front of the lady?”

Sweet Pea gave her a quick push and whispered ‘run’ before the three of them took off. They didn’t stop running until they were in the safety of Sunnyside Trailer Park.

Adria was still in shock over the whole ordeal. Fangs took the shopping bag from her and led her inside. Adria quickly walked off to the bathroom as Fangs and Sweet Pea talked to Ness in the kitchen. When the bathroom door was shut she turned on the fan and ran over to the toilet, throwing up everything in her stomach. When she finished she walked over to the sink and splashed her face with cold water. The face she saw in the mirror barely looked like her own. She looked broken, her skin red and eyes puffy.

She was quickly brought out of it by a knock on the door

“Ads? It’s me. You good?” Fangs voice came from the other side “Ness wanted me to tell you dinner’s just about ready.”

Adria slowly opened the door to face him, trying her best to look normal. Judging by the look on Fangs’ face it clearly wasn’t working.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Thankfully Ness didn’t ask too many questions with the guys there. After dinner Adria went back to Fangs’ with both boys. The three sat in silence on the living room floor for what seemed like an eternity. Until Adria finally spoke up

“Thanks for not saying anything to Ness. I’d appreciate if we could keep it that way.”

Both Sweet Pea and Fangs nodded

“Are you okay though, Ads?” Fangs asked “You’ve been a mess since it happened.”

Adria let out a small, sad chuckle “That bad, huh?” She brought her knees up to her chest “Needless to say I never thought someone would have the balls to point a gun at me.”

“Even with your dad?” Fangs asked

“Especially with my dad. He’d have them gutted alive. Do you deal with this a lot?”

“No. Not usually.” Sweet Pea broke his silence “We have to retaliate. If we don’t we look weak.” He looked to Fangs

“You’re right. What’s the plan?” Fangs asked. Both of them were far more serious than she had ever seen them. Given the circumstances it shouldn’t be surprising and yet it still was. She felt like she was seeing a brand new side of both of them and it was fascinating to watch.

“Whatever it is I want in” Adria inched closer to be part of the conversation

“Absolutely not.” Sweet Pea snapped “You froze there. Who’s to say he won’t have it again?”

Adria sat there quietly for a moment. She didn’t have anything close to a good response. She glanced over at Fangs who silently shook his head

“He has a point, Ads. Just let us handle it.” He stood up from where he was sitting “Let me walk you back home” Adria was about to argue as it was literally 20 steps away from his door but he spoke again “I insist.”

Adria groaned and followed Fangs the short distance to her front door; he stopped abruptly and put his hands on her shoulders. Adria raised her eyebrow, waiting for him to reveal whatever was going on in his head.

“I’ll tell you everything. I swear.” Fangs removed his hands from her shoulders and pulled her into a hug, rubbing his hand up and down her back as she started to ease up a bit “If you ever need to talk about what happened tonight I’m just a few steps away.” He let go and flashed her a large smile before turning around and walking back to his trailer.

Ashe watched him disappear into the door and let out a large sigh, sitting on the front step. Once again she felt alone looking to the lit window of Fang’s trailer. She could only imagine what they were planning. She thought about calling Toni before remembering she would be at Jughead’s. Good friends didn’t interrupt quality time with the guy their friend’s trying to bang.

So Adria rest her hands behind her and looked up to the sky, for the first time in a long time able to see stars.

#sweet pea #sweet pea x oc #sweet pea x reader #riverdale #fanfic #fireandice

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pillango-effektus · 5 years

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THE GOOD IN GOODBYE

𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙡 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

"So what are you going to do now?" Maria asked her best friend once they were back on Earth from Mar-Vell's space-lab bathing in victory.

"Honestly I am not sure. There are millions of planets that need saving. I guess I'll just go and do my job.

Maria nodded, but before she could have said anything Carol continued.

"But first I have to do something else," she smirked lightly and Maria chuckled.

"Alright just make sure you bring "something" some sunflowers. She loves them."

"Do you think I don't know that?" Carol winked.

Soon they were all hugs and kisses, saying their last goodbyes.

"Take care, Maria. Both of you," Carol said looking over at little Monica who was proudly checking herself out in the mirror, wearing her Aunt Carol's jacket.

"Stay good, Space-girl," Maria whispered and just like that Carol was on her way to visit another very important and old friend of hers.

.....

You have just barely got home from your job in the local diner when you heard somebody knocking on the front door of your house. You considered not answering since you had to deal with idiots all day but you were a nice person, and you didn’t like making people wait.

"Coming in a minute!" you shouted at the direction of the door as you put some slippers on.

You opened the door to reveal a kind young blonde woman in a jumpsuit - it looked just like what they use for laser-tag - and she was holding a bucket of sunflowers in her hands. She had a shy smile on her face however her eyes didn't shine that happy kind of look. They were a deep color of brown and they looked somewhat afraid.

Your hand flew up to your mouth as it hung in agape from the sight of her. You couldn't believe it was real. That she was really there.

"Carol," you said the one little word weakly.

"Hello Y/N. I'm very sorry I was late. I brought you flowers. May I come in?"

.....

You were taken aback, absolutely dumbfounded. All you wanted was to touch her, to hold her to see she doesn't disappear like all so many times in the last eight years, but you couldn't. Not just yet. You couldn't even tell if you were happy to see her. It's been so long, you thought she was dead, and now she was in your house again. I mean... Of course, you were happy to see her! But something still didn't feel quite... right.

All you could do at the moment was to listen to what she had to say.

"... So we saved the planet actually. And now I am here," she said finishing her story.

You blinked a few times.

"So let me get this straight. You were in the middle of an explosion and it basically made you an alien. Good dude turned out to be the bad guy and vice versa, you met the boss of the federal forces, and you have an alien cat. Most importantly you are very much alive and kicking."

"Yeah, pretty much. Though I'd rather call Fury Not-So-Secret Agent".

"Okay. You really must be the real Carol."

"How come I got to convince you now?"

"Because you are such a smartass as she was," you smiled finally widely, and delighted. "I'm so so... Oh my god, I missed you!"

Now that you felt the rush of suppressed feelings come to the surface once again, you basically rushed up to her and hugged her close to yourself. Her hands immediately flew up to your waist and pulled you closer. You buried your face into the crook of her neck as you let your tears flow finally. She rubbed your back comfortingly and cradled the back of your head to her.

"I missed you too Darling," she whispered in your hair.

You were heartbroken and a whole again all at the same time. She guided you to your couch and sat down with you still holding her for dear life.

For some time you just held each other laying on the couch and not saying another word.

"Please never make me wait this much again. I almost thought you wouldn't come," you smiled up at the young woman half-jokingly.

"I could never," she answered.

You remembered the day she went off on that one super secret army mission of hers. You made her promise that as soon as she comes back you two would go to Pancho's Bar and play some games, drink something and just dance. Have a good time.

But she never came. Instead arrived a grieving Maria with cried out eyes and the worst news somebody can deliver.

"I want to go back there. To the karaoke nights at Pancho's. Those were simpler times."

"And happier ones too."

"They were. Remember when we were shamelessly checking out girls and boys all over the place, trying to impress one another with our flirting skills?" you laughed a lighthearted laugh.

"Or when I started a bar fight with a guy who touched you?" she smiled but the memory of the asshole faded that smile.

"Maria had to tear you off of him after you've beaten him up. I could never forget the day I first called you mine."

You looked up at her, staring at her from down, adoring her sharp jawline, and playing with her hair.

"Did you have anybody since then?" she asked suddenly, and you could hear the faintest insecurity in her voice.

"Well... I had a few dates in the past years, but nothing long-lasting. You'd be surprised how many lesbians are in town," you told her.

She smiled brighter now.

"The only girl I care about is right here in front of me."

It was you who kissed her first. It was slow, almost exploring to see if she was just like before; if she felt the same. She felt like home. She felt right. She was all you needed, all you wanted. The lovely sweet kiss fastly turned into something more passionate and heated, that made your head spin all the same as all those years ago.

.....

The next day you woke up first. You looked down at the sleeping woman who right there and then looked so vulnerable and young.

You still couldn't really believe that she was there, right beside you, but it made you happier than ever in your life.

Carol was your life. Your safe place. And finally she was there, and everything was good again.

.....

Two days went by and you knew that goodbye was coming soon. You have talked about it, and your heart broke a little bit all over again.

"So there's this super sweet lesbian couple on the other side of town, and they are like the most amazing people I have ever met! They even have a little boy. You have to meet them sometime," you told Carol about the changes in the neighborhood and in your life in general.

Once you've said the magic word she became uneasy and the gleam in her eyes faded a little.

"Y/N," she took a deep breath, "you know I can't stay."

You nodded and your previous happiness left in that second.

"When you can do things like I can... You can't just sit down and watch the world burn. I just... I need to do something."

You put your hand on her right arm reassuringly.

"I agree with you. And I admire you for your bravery. The universe should be hella grateful to have you." you smiled at her. "You are marvelous, Captain."

"I love you, you know that?" she asked seeming to be really touched by your words.

All your reply was a sweet long kiss, much like a goodbye.

And now it was time for real goodbye.

You stood in your backyard in the night so the neighbors didn't see anything they shouldn't have.

"If anybody catcalls you again, send them to me, I'll have a word with them," Carol said, and you laughed.

"I don't think that would be possible, but thanks for the offer."

"Please try to write me from now and then, I don't care how long it takes for space-post to be delivered," you told her seriously.

"Not that long as it takes here. I promise I will try to come and see you."

"I think you will be way too busy for that..."

"I could never be too busy to forget about you," she said seriously. "See you at Christmas, my dearest."

"Christmas it is," you agreed, and then you cupped her face in your hands. You kissed her deeply one last time with all the passion and love you had for this woman. "Don't be late."

She laughed probably the first honest smile of the day found its way to her beautiful face. "Nothing, I mean really nothing can keep me from eating from your cinnamon pie."

"At least I know what to cook." you laughed. "I love you, Carol."

"I love you, Y/N. See you soon."

She kissed the top of your head, and you closed your eyes. You only opened them when you knew she was gone. All you saw of her was something that resembled a comet, and you knew you will never forget that sight. From then on you would watch the sky every night hoping you'd catch one, thinking it might be her checking on you.

"I can't wait to see you again. Goodbye, Carol." you told the 'comet' that was becoming smaller and smaller every second, looking like it was winking. You went back inside knowing that she was out there, safe and alive. And you would see her again soon enough. It was time to fix a proper Christmas feast...

.....

original post date: 07. 06. 2019.

#carol danvers x reader carol danvers image captain marvel carol danvers maria rembau monica rembau kree reader insert x reader wlw

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stanbangttan · 6 years

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BTS REACTION “You touching and/or flirting with them”

A/N:Hi, Stanbangttan here. Yes I am in fact alive. I have been dealing with few personal issues and now I hope I will be back for good. I had this reaction request for a long time from @olivia-cosmosine But better late than never. Right? I am sorry you waited this long, but as a thank you for being patent, i made it EXTRA LONG as an imagine/oneshot kinda deal. Hope you like it! Keep reading folks.

Genre: fluff / angst / a little smut you name it

Warnings: mention of some kinks, almost pg 13

NAMJOON/RM

It was late for going out now. You are tired. You took of your make up, or what's left of it after this hell of the day at work. Stress, your boss yelling, at you and your co-workers, didn’t leave you in the best mood for the rest of your day. You didn't wanna go home. You didn't wanna go to your work. Could you just be locked inside of an library with endless rows of books? Even though you didn't want it, you went home, took a shower and was ready to finish the manga you love so much. You sat in your bed, got comfy and reached for the book. You started reading. 'I know this. I read this. Oh my god. I finished all ten of them.' - It was time to visit Clara. Clara was an older lady that held a cute little bookstore/ library. Her husband Rick, made every shelf in that bookstore for her and made her dream come true. She wanted a safe and comfy space for everyone to read and only beverage she will give you will be tea. The library was on the other part of the town. Just a few people you knew visited it or knew about the place. That gave you more peace even tho it shouldn't. It had all from books, textbooks to mangas and comics. Clara wasn't gonna discriminate any book there is, whatever form did it came in. Bean bags with coffee tables or regular chairs with regular tables for studying. Lo -fi music in the background. It was the best place on earth, why would you share it with someone? You wanted it all for yourself. You found out for this place by accident, when you were in high school and visiting a math tutor in this part of the town. Jimin was quite a good tutor but he was also handsome, so you were terrible at math all together even after his tutoring. Because how are you gonna focus on algebra when that man is next to you? So you self taught yourself, all over again at Clara's bookstore, and Clara gave you tea to keep your caffeine intake high so you can actually focus. Clara was younger, Rick wasn't in a wheelchair then, and everything seemed harmless and fun, with no responsibilities. After a while you realized you payed Jimin money just to see him every week, and not because you actually learn something from him. So you came clean. Asked him out. He said he has a girlfriend. Oh, all of them always do. That he is flattered. Oh, all of them always are. But never, ever someone said 'yes'. Or 'I wanna go out with you, Y/N.' You stopped getting tutored, you stopped going to Clara's. But you missed it. So you started to go to Clara's once again. And it became your little secret and guilty pleasure.

You sat in the bus 854, that had a stop near Clara's bookstore and about half a hour later you hopped off. Clara's face lighted up when she saw you tonight. "I thought you're gonna miss your tradition, Y/N." "Let me tell you, I was gonna do it. But I ran out of chapters." - Clara just laughed. "How is Rick?" "He's good. Recovering. They say he's gonna be walking again in a month. Even though he keeps getting up without doctor knowing." "He just can't keep his butt at one place." "You know it. Are you reading here or not? " "We'll see. Are my chapters at the same place?" - you said as you got far into the rows of shelves and books on them. "M-hm. Rain started." - Clara somewhat shouted. It is pouring out there. Great. You turned around to see Clara's face - "Then I will, until it stops." - Clara laughed mischievously, disappearing in the back room , confused you kept walking backwards until I hit something solid and firm. Automatically your lips mouth - "I am sorry." "It's okay." - male voice responded. Not stopping, you took a left, you knew the shelf location by heart, found your aisle, between ton of shelves. As you went to grab next chapter of a the manga you want to read, as a hand found yours on the same book. "I saw it first." - same male voice said. So what, it's his hand on yours. - "I took it first." His hand quickly vanished. You turned around, manga in your hand, then your eyes found his. His warm but deep brown ones. You broke the contact. Looking at him under your lashes. His lips are so full. You bet they're soft too. His voice awakens your daydream "Will you read it here?" - Oh dios mio, he has dimples. With every word those two appeared. "Uhm," - you turn to see the rain showering the streets - "Probably." - you said nodding. "I can wait for you to finish.. It." "Y-yeah. Deal." - You walked to the bean bags. Clara brought two, yes, two cups of tea, and winked at you. "Y/N, I need to go to the grocery store for a minute, can you keep the bookstore running?" "Now? Out on the spurting rain, really Clara?" She made the shush face and continued, - "Yes. Namjoon help her out, please." "Of course, Mrs. Jenkins." - he politely responded. Clara basically evaporated from the bookstore. "You know she will take long on purpose. She is acting, no, she's playing matchmaker now. This is not my first rodeo with her." "I know. Neither is mine. But she has the best interest, I swear. " "I know" - you said apologetically.

"I live down the street. I am Namjoon." - he said putting his hand in yours. "I know." - you shook it for maybe way too long as your eyes smiled at each other. Someone would say your gazes already made love to each other, because the chemistry as off the charts. His puzzled face was enough. "She said it. I am Y/N." "I know" - he smiled. Y ou took the comfy bean bag you always lay in, blanket over you and got back to your manga. He got up and looked for another manga or book to read. Whenever you lifted your gaze from the book, his gaze was on you, and he smiled. You smile back. Maybe Clara is not just playing.

JIN

"Maria, not another blind date. Nope, just NO." You shouted over the phone. Your roommate was getting pissy because she couldn't hear what Khloe Kardashian said in the new episode, but you didn't give a flying fuck. Whenever Maria got a love or better said dick interest you were the one she dragged with her, her plus one for all of mediocre best friends Maria's date had. One never better that the other. Issues and problems you didn't want in your life. But as a good friend you were you were pretending for her. But this was outrageous. "Can't you keep a man, Maria. Please keep fucking Jungkook, so I can actually have a weekend for myself, to find a date I actually want to go to." You screamed. I bet your neighbors have first hand reality show experience with what comes or is heard out of this apartment. Kira is now muting the Kardashians and pays attention to you and Maria's conversation. "Who is Jungkook?" "Shut it Kira,” - you continued the phone torture - ”I can't go on another blind date." "Tell Maria, I'll go." Kira shouted.

"No, not her Y/N. Please. Not for this one. This one is the real deal. I swear to you. He is from a good family. They both are. Both Hoseok and Jin." - Maria pleaded me. "You are indebted by me, by soooooooo much, you're not even aware how much. " "Thank you, thank you." "When are we going? And how?" "Hoseok said to catch campus bus at seven." "Dresscode?" "Girly? I don't know where we’re going. I am sorry.” "Ugh, okay. " “I can ask him though." “Yea, you do that.” - you hang up on her. Why is this your life?

-----

Instantly as you and Maria got into the bus you spotted him. This man was unbelievingly handsome. Not just handsome, he was beautiful. Pouty lips, piercing eyes, and a skin clear as first snow. I wish she set me up with a guy like him - you thought. You hate blind dates, and blind double dates are even more uncomfortable. As bus was leaving the bus stop, you looked for an empty spot, but Maria was already doing that for you. Going into pretty boy's direction. She waved the guy that sat in front of him, I assume Hoseok and he gestured her to sit next to him. There was an empty spot next to the hottie. But who's your date? Is he already at the venue? Is he at the bus? As you stood over them, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the pretty boy, and trying not to interrupt your friend and her date, her date finally said "Oh, hi, Jin saved you spot, too." I looked at the hottie, as the guy gestured behind him. Jin. I like it. "Hi, Jin" you said as you hugged him. Was that too much? Maybe he is not the hugging type. "Hi.." said Jin awkwardly. You looked straight ahead, closing your eyes in regret, thinking how you fucked everything up, and the blind date didn't even start. This is the first one you actually liked and you fuck up. The gist of your life in 2 minutes. Then you looked at Jin, looking at you, and he smiled. Well, maybe you didn't fuck everything up just yet.

YOONGI / SUGA

Working at a Music Entertainment company as a secretary was pretty much boring, at first thought. But when you gave it time, it became quite interesting. You got to meet a lot of celebrities. And to find out some of those celebs are actually trash. To surprise pleasantly that some of them are so kind. That there are divas and an actual human with a reasoning. It was hard, but once in a while it was pleasant to work with them too. Company birthday was around the corner, and company dinner was obligatory. Well that was in the email you got. I mean dinner & drink with colleagues can't be lethal, right? You're not all from the same division, so that means you'll meet more people. As anxious that made you, it made you think about how good that is for your carrier. Just think how many people you'll meet, and how many more opportunities it will open - you said to yourself in the mirror at the restaurant. You splashed some droplets of water on your face, while picking up courage to go inside and find a table where everyone is. Girls exiting the bathroom in this exact moment laughed at you. Whatever. Y/N , be a good girl. Don't drink much. Be normal, just for tonight don't be yourself. Don't say stupid things. Stop with the puns Jin learned you. Okay? Okay. You got out there. Just few of employees arrived, which is good. Let's start small. Time passed, few small talks nothing big. Slowly but surely seats filled up. One next to you empty for over an hour. It felt like everyone knew everyone. You felt like a black sheep in a flock. Which left you with more time to drink. So you actually did. Suddenly a guy sat on that empty spot. And he puts his empty glass in front of you. Gesturing at the Soju in your hand. You stared at him in confusion. You don't know this guy. He read your mind. "Hi, I am Yoongi. Can I have the drink now we passed the names and all shitty conversation?" "Y-yes.." You poured him a drink. Then another one. And another one. When you felt like you were drunk enough for this, you asked him "Sooo, cutie pie, what division are you?" - great, we started with the awkward flirting. He kept quiet. You thought he didn’t hear you so you asked again. "C'mon, how long do you work for BH?" "I guess we didn't skip all the shitty conversations and after all. Look, I don't work in the departments." he answered, and you laughed. "Pfft, how is that possible?" - Who do he think he is? "I'm a producer. CEO.I work at the studio." Then it dawned on you.. "Ohh, so you like play an instrument? Are you my boss or something? " - you smiled. "InstrumentS actually. Piano is one of them, for example. Maybe I am. " he emphasized the "s", bragging. "I know preppy ones like you." - you blurted out. This is ironic flirting for you. He needs to keep up. He's kinda slow. And you're kinda drunk. Who are you kidding, you're too drunk. "What is that supposed to mean?" It means you are preppy full of yourself guy who thinks he's better than anyone else, but you actually fake it. You didn't say that. He's your boss. Well maybe. But you're not gonna risk it. He pays well. Well maybe. "Oh you can actually hear me now? I meant, your fingers must do wonders then." You touched his fingers, bumping at one of his silver rings, playing with it and laughed at your own dirty joke. Damn you Jin, if I remember this in the morning, I'll kill you. He was rather surprised of the sudden touch, making the face at your dirty pun, but didn't want to show that he got it or that he liked it for a matter a fact. Both of it. He just responded "I can show you if you want.." This night will be fun.

J-HOPE/ HOSEOK

You were new here. New town. New people. New group of friends. Well some of them were just friends in your eyes. Not Hoseok though. He’s so dreamy, the smile he gives to everyone, but is able to scold them as well. You needed that balance in life. You are a friendly person, talkative as much as it gets. But you never said to anyone about your crush on Hoseok. He was your little secret. Other people paired you two together for activities accidentally which made your smile grow bigger and somehow, you fell under his spell. Not that he knew, or noticed. He gave you as much attention as he gave anyone else. Or that's what you thought. It was game night and it was your turn to choose the place you all will go. After thinking long, the best option was rolling skate rink. You knew the place well, you skate well or you can pretend you don't, you dance well and you knew Hoseok would enjoy it. You made a choice thinking of him, that was not surprise to you. And as a bonus, they had amazing milkshakes! Perfect. You skated with friends, Hoseok showed off his moves even on skates. Jumping around, speeding like a lunatic, moonwalk all the way to you and the girls, pushed you about 10 meters away from the group, and almost knocked you over doing so. He caught you mid fall, like in the movies you watched, you took your hand and moved to his cheek, entranced. It'll be just like in the old movies - you somewhat prayed. He made a serious face, "wha-?" "um--" you fake cough, standing up, and looking down, trying to calm your beating heart, and shaky knees. Too bad your knees are a pair of freaking betrayers. You fell once again, your butt on the floor. He helped you stand up. You wanted to run away. To lock yourself in safety of your room for a month till this sickening, gushing feeling stops. Or just forever so you don't embarrass yourself ever again. His face was blood red, just like when he drank, the song changed and he took the chance to run away to the other side of the rink. Flustered? Or Ashamed? And you thought you wanted to run. Why did he run away? Why did you even think your life could be a movie? Whole squad was at the tables, calling your name, while you stood on the center of the rink. "We saved you a spot." - someone said. You don't even know who, you're so much out of yourself. Across from you was a empty spot too. You looked at it, for hour what it felt. But it barely passed minutes. Until someone sat, and looked at your eyes. Same voice spoke again - "Maybe we should give them little space guys.." Another chimed in "Yeah.. " All of your friends left the table, you felt the same feeling, voice inside telling you -RUN- but Hoseok didn't run so you didn't too. "So.." - he said "So.."- you repeated "I.." - you both chimed at the same time.

"You can go first" - again "Are we gonna act as twins or?" - you joked nervously "That'll be incest then.. " - Hoseok said under his breath

"What ?" - you asked just to be cut again. "I like you, Y/N" - his face flushed again, his voice stuttering and head hung low You smiled, " I do to.. " " I mean don't understand me wrong I do not like me too.. What I wanted to say.. Ugh, I hate this.. I mean I don't hate you. I... I just .. I like you too." "We're both a stuttering mess.." - Hoseok said, holding your hand.

JIMIN

Jimin was popular for his “friendliness” with girls. Whole campus knew who he was, what he was doing with his free time, and was pretty known campus hoe. Men threw him high-fives and "WhoopWhoop-ed" him when they saw him, like having a STD was something to be proud of. Boys will be boys, and girls wouldn't be girls if they didn't fall on that façade he puts every morning. How did you know that? Well, you have been childhood friend, not that close one, with the said hoe. Driving him/ being driven to campus by him, or carpooling with some friends from same neighborhood and him being there was one way. But like it wasn't more than enough that you had to share the air with him, he decided to tease hell out of you. You both sat in the back, you were looking through the window and the scenery you have seen, well million times, and still that was better than dealing and talking to him. You didn't hated him, you hated his behavior, which his older brother somehow passed on to him. That fucker is a story for itself. Suddenly, Minie and Jess, riding in the front got into “female only” discussion on a topic why is the diva cup better than a tampon or the pad, for your hygiene and economically, cutting Jimin off completely having him jobless, and in a mood for teasing you. He poked your arm, smiling so hard that his eyes closed, HE ENJOYED THIS. *poke* *poke* *poke* over and over again. You ignored. Well you tried. You snapped. That's an understatement.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

Minie flinched and Jess, who was driving honked the car accidentally because of the sudden shout. He put the innocent face on “Why are you screaming at me, I didn’t do anything to you,” sly smile creeping in, “Gezz woman, is that time of the month again?"

"They’re bickering again.. ” Minie sighed and Jess dismissed you two, continuing their conversation, this was daily routine now.

“If by that time of the month again you mean you being annoying little shit, then that’s the whole month, brat.” you hissed.

“WOAH, someone likes that dirty talk. Kinky.” he trailed his fingertips on your arm. You kicked his hand with a smack, only to hear him mumble “Auch, rough, too.” with a sly smile. He is being entertained now. And you are the entertainer.

You didn’t care what other girls have done, that’s their life, their respect and decisions. YOU wouldn’t let that happen to you. Not with Jimin. Couldn’t he be like, normal for once, and ignore your existence? Anger flew trough you. You were red furious when you pinched closer, grabbed him by the throat, nails digging into his tender neck flesh, you lost control, the last drop overflew the glass you have been filling with annoyance and anger of him being rude and disrespectful to you.

“Touch me again, without my permission, douche, and I will cut this air flow to your non existing brain, are we clear kid?"

Minie and Jess, saw this thing went overboard, turned around when it was red light just to stop you two from killing eachother.

"Okay.” he said. Alright. That’s it. You stood for yourself. Turned around and watched the trees move again when green light showed up. You were on campus already, Jess finds a spot to park. Jimin held his throat, smiling like nothing happened, then you heard his smile voice grow again “Into chocking, huh?” his smile grew bigger and bigger as he got off the car, “I never would have guessed, but I like it.” He winked and with that he took off running, so you couldn’t catch him and kill him, per say.

TAEHYUNG / V

Being one of the boys was kinda a normal to you. You were always labeled a tomboy and to be honest you didn't hate it. It had its beneficial aspects. For example boys didn't try to use you, you didn't have those fake girl friends, most of boy friends are actually really easy and honest. Obnoxious - YES, but honest. On the other side, it was hard to date, because all your boy squad will scare him away, or tell you he wasn't good enough for you which you knew, but SOMETIMES A GIRL JUST WANNA KISS. You're not gonna marry a douche. You are rarely girly, because being girly is a opportunity to be mocked by them. All of your girlfriends, which was a small few, are possible hookups to them and you had no saying in it as they had in your love interests. Unfair. Tae will purposely tell guys to stay away from you. Or scare away the freshmen that pick up a courage to try and pick you up with cheesy lines. Namjoon would sometimes tell him to chill, and let you breathe, and you thank him for that with a ice cream cone once in a while. And he'll give you the same lecture every time, "You know I can't protect you from them all the time. You need to find a girlfriend to do this love life shit with. And this ice cream is not really worth it to go against their back…" "You sure about that? Your passionate licking tells me otherwise." "I mean mostly it is, but it's getting transparent what I am trying to do here. Just get ready and go clubbing sometimes without us Go with your girlfriends from the dorm. Just know that one call will get us there where you are if something goes wrong." And You'd say "Okay, I will." Every time but you never do it. Your girl friends are just not - not them. You don't mind not hooking up most of the time. But a period comes when you really wanna kiss somebody, and then you drown yourself in Vodka. Or Tequila. Or anything that'll help you forget how much you wanna kiss Tae. You'd dance till your feet hurt as hell. You'd scream over the lines of every love song they play. You'd make fool out of yourself. And you don't have to worry because your male squad is there to take care of you. Same one, that is hooking up rn, and same one that have a designated driver and a designated someone who will look over, specifically, you. That was the deal, every week one of them is the driver and "the look out for Y/N". This week that was Tae. You sat at the booth you got reserved. Next to Tae. “Where are they?" "Jimin was grinding over the blonde in the corner. Namjoon is at the bar with the redhead. Hoseok -" You stopped him mid sentence and continued "- at the dance floor, with god knows who, kissing god knows who." "As usual." He said. "You jealous TaeTae?" - You bopped his nose in playful tone - "You'd loooooooove to be nuzzled in someone's neck right now, making tons of hickeys. BUT YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME." - It was really pathetic telling him that last part of the sentence. He ignored your drunk ass - "Jungkook is already at the bathroom going at it. I gave him my condom, that crazy kid. Yoongi and Jin are god knows where I lost them. Probably somewhere, making puns and wining in life. And yes, I AM here stuck with YOU" - He bopped your nose back. Your head fell down, eyes filled with tears, not that he saw. You put your hand on his leg, squeezing the thigh. He didn't expect that. He got shivers. He didn't expect that too. You looked him in the eyes - "Is that what I am to you, a fucking bother?" - you stood up. You're leaving this place right now. You don't need them. You can go back. You can order a uber. An uber driver can be a murderer. But you're not that pretty anyways. "Where the heck do you think you're going to?" he mocked you, laughing. You wobbled around. You're too drunk for this. You should stop drinking. Or stop drinking this much. "What do you care where I am gonna end up to? Will I get murdered? Or not?" - you made no sense. "And I am perfectly fine for your information. I'm not that pretty to be murdered.” - he laughed harder. "Don't you laugh at me, you moron." - you came back just to hit him. He welcomed your hits. He caught your hands, locked his gaze on you and then he kissed you.. You stopped breathing for a second, you stopped crying, you stopped hitting him, and stopped screaming at him. World stopped spinning for that ten seconds too. "Stop it, you're drunk, Tae." - this was not the first kiss you shared, every time Tae drunk as an ass when it happened, every time you stopped him telling him he's drunk. "No I am not, I'm sober as a cop tonight. Remember?"

JUNGKOOK

I think it's understatement to say you are crushing on Jungkook. It's been too long to even remember when this started for you. He's the best friend of your brother. He's always at your house, since you were 8, and he moved down the street, and stole Michael's bike. So Mike ran back to your mom crying to go and retrieve the bike Jeongook stole. He didn't stole it, per say, he just borrowed it. For a couple of hours, to drive, without giving it back to Mike and ignoring him all together, later stashing it in his garage as his own. Okay, he stole it. But he was not a bad kid. Then he kept getting Mike to play with him, you were somewhere there playing sometimes with them, sometimes with Anna across the road. School started, years passed, and puberty came. Some of you, him per say got handsome, muscly, jawline got sharper, and he got taller. Long story short, puberty hit him like a truck, no, even better, like a bus. You for example, almost got hit crossing a zebra of adolescence, but the puberty saw you just in time so you didn't get hit at all. Puberty got out in a hurry at the crime scene with a simple sorry. You got to work for your beauty yourself. Pluck those bushes above your eyes. Strip the mustache that Jeongook didn't even grow out, yet somehow you had it. Shave your legs. Buy pushup bras, that didn't do wonders for your non existent boobs, because in order for push up bra to work it needs little some-something to push - up. Girls got prettier day by day, and you got more and more friend-zoned by Jungkook day by day. He started dating, you started extra curriculum activities. He was going to parties, you were going to poetry slam nights at the local coffee shop. Until one night, he was knocking at your window at 2 am. You heard a knock while finishing a book, yes, at 2am. A crying mess. You opened a window, expecting Mike to sneak in as usual. But when dark figure that was inside your bedroom, pulled down the hoodie, you almost screamed. His hand found your lips, and shut it quickly. "shhhhhhhhhh.. " - he looked at you once more, moonlight only thing that was on at this our, making your face barely visible - "were… you.. crying?" "What?" - you remembered the book - "uhh, no, allergies." "At night?" - he laughed. "It's that bush you climbed on, I swear to god, imma make dad cut it down." "Don't" - he said alarmingly, - "How am I gonna sneak into your room at night then?" Your heart skipped a beat at this teasing he always did even though you looked like it didn't - "You'd just have to stop doing it." - he made a fake crying face - "Why are you here, now?" "Kaitlyn threw me out, her parents got home early from their business trip." - he joked. Or Jacob came early, you chuckled. "And you told your parents you are at??" "at yours.. I mean Mike's. " "Of course." -irony came out. "Are you mad?" "Well you literally barged in my room at 2am.. It's not like I am happy.." - you grumbled, sitting back on your bed. "You're the only girl in our school, no, town, who would be mad I got into her bedroom at night." - he jokes, "Cocky much?" - but see you're not laughing with him, - "Or I could leave." "And where would this gentleman go, to who's girl bedroom in this time of the night?" - your curiousness got to you. "No one's, Kaitlyn and I are official now." , Except she's cheating on you, you thought. "My ass you are." - you muttered to yourself, "But here you are." - you sounded bitterly.

"You know that you don't count, Y/N. " You arched an eyebrow. "Does she know that though, Jeongook? "She doesn't have to know. It' not like anything is gonna happen. C'mon, You're not gonna throw me out.."

"Maybe I should." "But, Y/N, I don't have anywhere to go." What do you do when a poor puppy comes to you for help?

"I guess you can sleep on the floor. You know where the blanket's are, don't touch anything else." "Thank you. I won't." You usually wake up hugging a pillow. Today you hugged something more stiff. Longer too. Bigger too. Warmer too. Also smelled nice. You nuzzled your face into it, not opening your eyes once. His arms wrapping in a perfect loop just for your shoulders to fit in. You continued to sleep. After fifteen minutes the alarm started ringing. You snoozed it by memory and turned your back to the "pillow". He hugged you tight around the waist. Pressing your body to his. "Good morning, Y/N."

Waaaaaaait, wha--? Your pillow doesn't talk. Or smell. Or hugs you back. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE DOING? I TOLD YOU TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR."

"No, mid night you said I can hop on. You even took my hand, played with it, laced your fingers with mine. And told me the truth." - he said sleepy voice. Oh gosh you could wake up to this every day. Wait what truth? "Jeongook?" "Yeah?" "You know for a fact I sleep talk shit."

"No."

"No?" "I know for a fact you sleep talk the truth you usually hide. Like the when you saw Mike hiding the gummy bears in the ziplockbag under the hollow box. You told me that while sleeping, and I found them and then we ate them together without him. I still remember his face when he found a FUCK YOU!note." - he laughed wholeheartedly, eyes closed. This feels so casual and nice. Why can't I be Kaitlyn, I'd never cheat on him. "You're missing the point here. What did I tell you?" "Nothing. Get up, we're gonna be late to school." "Since when do you care?" "Since today." WHAT THE HELL. He left. Through the window. "We have doors, you know." "I know." - He smiled back. He went insane. ------ Lunch break. You spotted Jeongook, alone. Now's the time. You took him by the hand. He let you. You dragged him across the yard. He let you. You hurried. He slowed you down. You sat at the far back bench. He stood next to it.

"Sit." you ordered.

"Why?" he asked. "Just for five minutes."

"Okay" "Tell me what I said tonight." "The truth." "I got that, dumbass. But what did I exactly say?" He took your hand, taking you by surprise. He laces your fingers with yours. Slides across the bench closer to you. Clasping your hands together. You kept watching your hands intertwined. How a nice feeling to feel. Your eardrums had a beat of your heart on them. Blood rushed from your to your head and you could swear to god you could feel it. His lips parted, his hand played with your fingers. "Don't be with Kaitlyn, Gookah." - he suddenly said. You still kept quiet. Lips pressed into a thin line. "Why?" - he said in more masculine tone. He was finally telling you what you wanted to know. And it terrifies you. You knew what he did. He did the Ken and Barbie thing you did as a kid. You stopped breathing. You can't look him in the eye. Still playing with your fingers, leaving slow and gentle touches all over it, how you probably did to him yesterday - "She is a bad person." "How do you know?" - You were afraid of this. "I saw her.." -Oh god you didn't say this. "and?" - he was asking questions to you on purpose.

"and it's not on me to tell.. " - Yes that’s where It should end. "but?" "but.. She's two timing, she is with Jacob. I am sorry." "It's okay."

You stopped his monologue. "I am really sorry. It's not a way to find out. " He stopped you, now, mid sentence - "I am not finished." He looked you in the eyes. He continued. Oh god, no.

"But I'd never do that to you." - You prayed hard this isn't what you did say in your sleep. "I know."

"I'd never cheat on you, Gook." - All life you had left in your face, vanished.

"I'd never cheat on you, Y/N." - All life that had left you, came back. Your eyes warm. His voice honey like. "I know." "Can I got on the bed now?" - His smile smug. You didn't call him up, after all. "If you're cold." - He took you from the bench, put you on his lap, whispering "I am cold, Y/N."

It sent shivers down your spine, as his lips found yours, fitting perfectly into each others. Low on breath, he stopped, just to say -

"Don't cut that bush for real now."

"Stop lying I invited you to my bed, you freak."

"Will you invite me now? "

"I don't know. Not yet. You can sleep on the floor like yesterday."

"But I didn't sleep on the floor yesterday. Oooh" - He wanted to hug you much closer than he physically could.

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imaginesfordayss · 6 years

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Avengers Infinity War: Warning Contains Spoilers

I did a previous review that has no spoilers, so go read that if you want no spoilers but here are my rantings that are full of spoilers! Like chock full. filled to the brim. Don’t continue under the cut if you haven’t seen Avengers Infinity War

About half way through the movie I truly thought it couldn’t get any worse. Like I knew it was going to be sad at the end like of course it’s gotta top everything else, but it was horrible. So horrible. The Russo brothers did not have to go that hard. I don’t think I’ve cried like that ever in my 20 years as a person. It was like my heart was ripped out piece by piece over a span of five minutes. This movie evoked such a powerful emotion out of me I sat in pained shock for 20 minutes as the credits rolled. And then the ending scene was fucking worse! So @ the russo brothers: I will fight you in the open street if you don’t,,,,,,do something i dont know fix it please. please god I’m begging please fucking fix it that was horrible how could you do this to me I gave you ten years of my life and you DID THAT. Anyway, I’m emotionally fragile but here are my thoughts:

When I first saw Heimdall on the floor all I could think was oh no cause I totally forgot about him for a while and then I remember that he’s in danger right as he dies and that was just a horrible way to start the movie I was in tears from minute one

And then they follow it with Loki dying???? why???? It didn’t hit me as hard cause I’m almost certain he isn’t dead forever but it was still horrible to watch

and Thor watching his brother die again was unnecessarily painful thank you

I felt like they could have handled Bruce’s reintroduction to the team better? Like he straight up doesn’t know some of these people and he’s kinda falling back into the team like he’s always been there. Where’s my awkward introduction of Sam and Bruce it’s what I want

Where’s Valkyrie???? IS SHE OKAY????

Wanda and Vision are so nice together! Like I low key don’t like they’re relationship cause she’s still a teenager but they really do care for each other which is so sweet

I kinda wish directors would stop portraying Vision as so weak though. He can wield an Infinity Stone and still manages to get taken down by just about everyone

So many wizards.

“That’s the wizard, Peter.”

I loved Bruce and Steve’s reunion. soft bro hugs

The little one liners everyone kind of snuck in were so fun and cute. Distracted me briefly from the pain which was nice

I liked Rocket’s brief relationships with everyone? He’s a really under appreciated character and I loved how they got him to bond with Thor and Bucky

Teen Groot! My Angsty Teen Baby! Rest in Peace.

Gamora’s relationship with Thanos was so unexpected and so sad??? Like Thanos had always been betrayed as this asshole behemoth and then we see that he actually cares about and loves Gamora? Like he was never a good father and he’s an asshole but he really loved her

Which made when he killed her so much worse. It made me angry, like he loves her and in some way Gamora loves him (seen when she was sobbing when she thought she killed him) and to know your dad is going to kill you and he won’t put your life above his selfish goals was heartbreaking and pissed me off so much

Also I loved to see that Nebula and Gamora’s relationship evolved

Peter Dinklage was such a fun surprise! I didn’t know he was going to be in the movie and when I saw him I out loud said “Oh my god, Tyrion?!”

the guy next to me thought that was funny

But anyway let’s get to my true feelings on this cause FUCK THE RUSSO BROTHERS

ALL THOSE FUCKING DEATHS

UNNECESSARY

ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY

UNWANTED

DISREPECTFUL

HURTFUL

I WAS SOBBING SO HARD

Like hyperventilating I was so upset

I was lulled into a false comfort cause I honestly thought the power of all the infinity stones would kill Thanos and it would all be over but then he disappears and I’m like??? what’s gonna happen and then you hear Bucky’s soft “Steve” and he disintegrates and I just broke

I was absolutely gutted like you know all these people are about to start dying at random and no one can do anything about it and I kept expecting maybe something to stop it or sometime to stop this pain but NO Wanda fades away in pain after watching her boyfriend die not once BUT TWICE

Rhodey is looking for Sam and Sam dies alone and Rhodey doesn’t even know what’s happening yet

Rocket looking into his best friend’s eyes as he dies yet again except this time Groot is still a fucking child

T’Challa thinking he has to save Okoye and Okoye having to watch her king and friend disappear. That scene hurt the most because the angle made you think Okoye was going to die (and she’s already my favorite character) and then it changes and T’Challa is GONE and god I thought my heart was being ripped out

And then the scene change to Planet Titan and I was like fuuuuck no there’s MORE and then Mantis is gone and Drax and Peter is like oh fuck and Doctor Strange and they’re all gone but then,,,, Peter Parker

He knew he was going to die, his spider senses let him know and he was so fucking scared and Tony can’t do anything to help him and Peter is clinging to him and “I don’t want to go Mr. Stark I don’t want to go” and his voice is breaking and he’s crying and jesus that was horrible

Tony was just talking about kids and now basically his son is dying in his arms and he just has to watch and comfort him as he dies

like that was so painful to watch I felt like I couldn’t breathe

Thankfully we know those deaths aren’t permanent and that’s probably why the director chose those characters, but we know at least one of them is dead forever and I’m so sad to think it might be Gamora

That ending scene was so unhelpful though??? Like I was just so done and sad and then Maria Hill is dying and I’m like really?? fuckin for real? and then Fury fades away as he contacts?? Who? Captain Marvel? What’s going to happen?!?!?! How are we gonna fix this?!?! Also, whats going to be the plot of Ant Man and Wasp now??? I’m so confused this is so new for me

This group of teenagers was staring at me like I was crazy when I walked out of the theater cause I was still steadily crying and I looked them dead in the eye and told them “Get Ready”

I’m sad and in a deep dark depression and if I don’t stop seeing sad Hamilton lyrics over gif sets of characters dying I’m gonna cry myself to death can y’all please spare me!

Come rant with me about this I’m sad

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tngrayson · 6 years

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Break My Heart - Ch6 - Forsaken

A/N: Chapter 6 of maybe 7 or 8. Sorry this one took so long, I wrote it and rewrote it so many times, and then I got super busy with work...life happened basically. So thanks to all of you for sticking around for this chapter. Beta’d by the ever wonderful @thorne93. Thank you so much!

Italicized dialogue is pulled from the episode and does not belong to me.

Word count: 2000

Warnings: angst, torture, more blood, more tears, canon typical violence

Get caught up here!

You woke up on the floor of some warehouse with your hands bound in cuffs and a sharp pain shooting through your head. You remembered Rawlins surprising you in the hotel room and honestly, you were a little pissed at how easy it had been to make you comply; all he had to do was threaten Frank and Billy, and you were willingly walking to his car. He hadn’t even needed the gun after that but he kept it on you anyway, cracking you across the skull and knocking you out as soon as the car started moving.

“That explains the headache,” you thought to yourself.

You sat up to get your bearings, but Rawlins’ voice distracted you.

“Good. You’re awake. I was beginning to think I hit you a little too hard.”

“You didn’t need to hit me at all. I was coming with you willingly.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

You had only met Rawlins once before. He had come to Frank’s house asking about him and Billy. He hadn’t harmed anyone, but the encounter left you and Maria with sick feelings in your stomachs. When Frank and Billy got back and you told them about it, they explained (in little detail apparently) just how dangerous he was. Billy had nightmares for a week straight after that.

Rawlins got you up by the wrists and hoisted them up on a hook that hung from the ceiling. You were really beginning to worry now. Here you were agreeing to give the man whatever information he wanted—probably something on Frank or Billy—and he still felt the need to string you up so your feet were barely touching the ground. The situation reminded you of the video David and Frank had shown you of Ahmad Zubair hanging similarly from the ceiling of some basement in Afghanistan as he was being tortured.

You took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. “What do you want?”

He grabbed your chin roughly. “Frank Castle. Your brother.” He spat the words as if they were something disgusting in his mouth. “You know he’s alive, yes?”

You answered with a gulp. “Yes.”

“We’re off to a good start.”

Rawlins let go of your face to pull out a knife. He ran it up your abdomen, the blade easily cutting part of the bloody tank top you wore. You hadn’t gotten the chance to change out of it after hugging Frank at the power station. He smoothed the flat side of the blade down your arm slowly, seemingly entranced by what he was doing. He was enjoying himself.

“And you know about the computers in the power station.”

“I—”

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I know you were there.”

He drug the knife across your chest, making it heave in response. The tip of the blade left the faintest red streak in its wake.

“I was there with Frank…and David Lieberman.”

“I know that. I want you to tell me something I don’t know. What’s the password? Hm? How do we get onto those computers?”

A few tears escaped before you could help it. You didn’t know, and you were genuinely afraid of what this man would do when you gave him an answer he didn’t like. “I don’t know,” you finally confessed.

Rawlins turned the blade, cutting along your cheek in a flash. He spun the knife in his hands and pressed the tip to your shoulder just at the end of your collarbone. He applied more pressure, barely piercing your flesh as he spoke.

“Let’s come back to that one, shall we? Tell me what’s on those computers.”

“The video of you torturing Zubair. Lieberman is planning to—”

“Lieberman is dead. He’s not going to do anything. So I need you to tell me how to get that video.”

You spoke through gritted teeth as the blade pierced deeper into you. “I swear I don’t know—”

A scream left your lips as Rawlins sunk the rest of the blade into your shoulder. He brought his body flush with yours and you could feel his hardness through his pants as he touched his cheek to yours, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered that he could keep up this torture all day.

***

Your body was stiff and aching when you stirred, opening your eyes for a moment but shutting them quickly when you realized someone was carrying you and the room started to spin. As things became clearer, you could make out Billy and Frank talking in the distance, so you tried to focus on their voices as they came closer.

“I wasn’t there. If I was, you’d be in the ground, because I wouldn’t have missed…”

“But you knew about it, didn’t you?”

What were they talking about? Why weren’t either of them trying to help you?

“…my kids loved you.” Frank’s voice broke and Billy sounded absolutely cold when he spoke.

“If I could go back and change it, I would, but I can’t... I did not want this.”

You drifted off for another moment, dreaming of the times when you and Billy would go to the park with Frank, Maria, and the kids. Then you remembered telling Billy they were killed in the park. Come to think of it, he had kept you from going with them that day, and afterwards, he had seemed just as distant then as he did now with Frank. You assumed it was the trauma of the whole thing, but now you realized he had been like that because he knew it was going to happen. Billy had already done his mourning.

Just then, Rawlins walked into the room carrying you over his shoulder and dropping you into a chair near Frank who tried harder to break from his restraints when he got a good look at you. “I’m gonna kill you! I swear to god, Bill. You hurt her…”

Frank’s words were lost on Billy as he fought to keep his composure, gauging the damage that had been done to you. There was a nasty bruise over your eye, you were wearing a blood-soaked tank top, but it looked like it had dried over and he couldn’t see that it was coming from anywhere in particular. Finally, he eyed the fresh blood that was trickling down your arm from a wound in your shoulder. You had lost a lot of blood and were probably suffering from a concussion.

“I doubt if she knows anything about this, Rawlins.”

Rawlins’ reply was too chipper as he confirmed Billy’s suspicions. “Oh, she doesn’t. Trust me, I was very thorough.”

“You trust this piece of shit, Bill? Look at that. He’s got your girl beat to Hell—”

Rawlins spoke up. “Billy and I have mutual interests, Frank. What benefits him benefits me.”

“What about when it doesn’t, asshole? How’s hurting her benefit him? Huh?”

Billy rolled his neck, clenching his jaw before he spoke. “Orders are orders, Frankie,” he said, pulling his gaze from you to Frank.

You turned and finally got a grasp on the situation. Frank was tied to a chair; blood leaking from where the wound you stitched before had come open, and Billy was standing over him; clearly the aggressor here. They both looked so tired. Seeing them like this—even after everything Billy had done—it was breaking you.

Billy sighed, seemingly irritated with the ordeal. This had no doubt gone beyond anything he’d expected. “Give me the passwords and we can call it a day.”

Rawlins rolled his sleeves up and made a show of putting on his gloves as he walked over to you. “Because it will get much more painful if you don’t…for her.”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, digging his thumb into the wound that was there, making you cry out as pain shot through your chest and down your arm. He whipped out his gun and cocked it, resting the barrel against your head. Billy tensed, but he didn’t move to stop Rawlins.

You bit your lip, trying to calm yourself as Rawlins jammed his thumb around in the wound. Frank could hardly get the words out fast enough as he agreed to give them the passwords. “Okay. Okay, stop….don’t hurt her. Don’t hurt her.”

Rawlins disarmed the gun, placing it back in his holster as he approached Frank and Billy. “That’s how you interrogate a man, Russo. It’s a shame you gave it up so easily, Castle. I’m not done with you just yet.”

You had seen Frank take a few beatings in your life; had seen him come home with all kinds of scrapes and wounds, but the way Rawlins was beating him right now was overkill. He had planned to murder Frank whether he got into the computers or not. After a few more hits for good measure, Rawlins had two men carry Frank in the chair up the few stairs to the computer.

It was hard to stay awake after that. “Billy,” you called weakly, barely able to lift your head in his direction. He was kneeling in front of you in seconds, betraying the façade that he didn’t care what happened to you. “Make him stop.”

He placed his hand on your cheek and you winced when his fingers brushed against the cut that was there. “I can’t do that, Y/N.”

You were sobbing openly now. “He’ll kill me.”

“No, he won’t,” he said without missing a beat. “You don’t have anything he wants—"

“But I’ve seen all of this...and look at me. What would you do?”

Billy tapped his forehead on your knee, weighing the options for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “I can’t-“ his voice wavered for a moment and he cleared his throat, steeling himself before speaking again. “This isn’t on me. You were dead the minute you let him capture you.”

He made to get up.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered, pulling his attention back to you.

Before he could say anything else, Rawlins was yelling and Frank was on him. Billy ran to pull them apart and Rawlins knocked Frank out.

***

Billy was crouched in front of you, gently slapping your face to keep you conscious.

“Stay with me, Y/N.”

You blinked slowly, unable to focus for more than a few moments at a time. “Billy?” Confusion and nausea washed over you, as you turned and saw Rawlins beating Frank until he was unrecognizable and choking on his own blood. “Frank…”

“Shh, shh. Frankie’s gonna be just fine, alright?”

Frank was begging; crying for Maria. The next moments came in flashes. You blinked and Billy had gotten behind Frank and put a gun to his temple.

You blinked again and Frank was breaking free from the chair. You saw Rawlins drive the knife into his stomach, but he had pulled it out, completely unphased by it and stabbed Rawlins with it over and over again.

You don’t know how you got up, but when you opened your eyes this time, Billy was gone and you were kneeling over Frank, trying to wake him up with your good arm. You cursed yourself for not being able to focus long enough to see if he was breathing.

“Frank? Come on, Frank. Get up. Please…”

You tried to shake away the blurry vision. You had even pressed your hand into your eyes for a moment, but it only got worse. The edges of your vision were quickly fading to black. You tried to wake Frank again, but he wasn’t responding at all.

Suddenly you felt exhausted, and it took everything not to close your eyes again, but it was a losing battle. You rested your head on his chest, pleading one last time.

“Don’t leave me, Frank. You’re all I have left.”

Marvel Netflix tag list (send me an ask or add yourself here)

@nickthboywonder @the-doctor-9-10 @onjacks-blog @missphanosaur18 @yessy2012 @asongofmarvelanddc @thespectacularjasmine @thesandbeneathmytoes@ravismorgue @xinyourdreamsx @tiredofthisgeneration @lea----b @livingoffsavvyillusions @ladyblablabla @movokepwc @bluebird214 @xinyourdreamsx@russosprettydiamondnow @iwillwaitforyouinthedark @weirdnewbie @heyitslexy @ginger-rae1991 @maz-keen @tina8009 @james-heaven-barnes @belloangelus @cutie-bug @jurassicjosie @curlyhairedblueeyedangel @mariasuoh @holamor @cheshirexkitten

#Billy Russo #billy russo x reader #frank castorf #the punisher #punisher netflix #break my heart #reader insert #fan fiction #tw: abuse #tw: torture

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