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elcvatedhorror · 8 months

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“ Got the girl „

part 2 of “ La Seine and I „

|Summary: Wednesday confesses her feelings for you. Turns out you did get the girl after all.

|Warnings: Wednesday taking a shot at actually expressing her feelings, sum fluff. a little angst only a bit.

|AN: Thanks for all the support on the last one!! It really means a lot.

|Heres Part 1!

Weeks had gone by. You still felt heartless. Heartbroken maybe. You tried to push past your feelings but it was no use. Everything reminded you of her.

She had tried to get your attention numerous times. Even if they were horrible poor attempts.

As much as you wanted to talk to her, you couldn’t even bring yourself to do anything.

So here you were now, in bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking. Thinking about whether you were good enough for anybody, not just her, but whether anyone even saw you in a loving way.

Wednesday wasn’t your first crush, but she was sure the first one that batted an eye at you.

And you were stupid for even thinking you had a chance.

But it didn’t matter anymore. Not to her anyway. She’s gonna get on with her life, and you’d just be stuck with your stupid thoughts.

Shit.

You took a deep breath, and rolled your eyes.

You needed to get up.

Just suck it up and move on. That’s all.

Maybe you’d find someone better.

Hopefully.

Thankfully it was a Saturday so you didn’t have classes. Which meant you could go for a walk. Just you and your thoughts.

You groggily slipped on some sweats and a pull-over, and headed out of the door, slipping in your earphones in the process, putting some music on, and went about your way.

But you didn’t notice a certain raven-haired girl slowly trailing behind you.

“Thing. Stop. I know what I did was wrong, but it wasn’t my intention.” Wednesday said, looking at you walk away just a tad bit further so she could follow you some more.

She hadn’t meant for Tyler to kiss her. She didn’t even want to kiss him.

At all.

She loved liked you. Not him. He followed her there, and kissed her. She didn’t want that to happen.

Right after the kiss happened, she scolded him and he never talked to her again.

But she lost you. And she needed you back. So now, she was going to try.

Eventually she caught up to you.

For the first time ever she was hesitant to do something, but this was needed.

“Y/N!” She called out, hoping for you to stop.

You looked up, eyes widening. You turned around to see Wednesday standing there.

“Wednesday.” You said, in shock. “Were… were you following me?”

“I wanted to apologize.” She interrupted. “For what happened at the Weathervane. It wasn’t my intention to kiss Tyler, I swear. He kissed me, and-“

She paused.

She realized she was rambling. God, she never rambles she usually knows what to say and when.

“It’s okay.” You smiled. “It’s okay. I just - “

“Thank you for bow, and flowers by the way. They were lovely.” She interrupted you again.

“Y/N?” She questioned.

“Yeah?” You sighed. You were expecting something bad to come out of her mouth afterwards, but…

“I like you.” Wednesday said. “And not just, in a platonic way.. in a.. romantic way. I was definitely looking forward the date before Tyler ruined it, please believe me. I-“

You smiled, stepped forward, cupped her cheeks, and kissed her.

When you pulled away you could’ve sworn you saw some color come back into her life.

“If you do that again i’ll make sure there’s stitches on your lips.” She stammered. “But. I suppose you could.. maybe do that again.” She said afterwards.

You smiled and leaned in once more.

You finally got the girl.

#jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday addams #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega x you

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parad-ice-lostandfound · 1 year

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Prompt:

Pairing: OM!Brothers with GN!MC, may be read as platonic or romantic

Genre: Slight angst ig

TW: NA

You walked into Purgatory Hall, which had been your home for the last few weeks, after making up with the brothers. Flopping onto the couch, you let out a deep breath. It was as if a weight was taken off your shoulders; a welcome change from what you felt before.

“MC, you’re home!”

You felt a weight on you, blonde tufts of hair revealing the person’s identity. You smiled, patting the head of the angel who become comfortable on you. “Hello Luke, where’s Simeon and Solomon?”

“We’re here,” came Simeon’s voice, and you registered the dipping of the couch near your head. Simeon ran his fingers through your hair, pulling a satisfied hum from you. Solomon took his seat at the chair opposite of the couch, looking at your form.

“How did it go?”

“It was fine. They surprised me, that’s for sure,” you answered, thinking back to how Belphegor had stood up for Lucifer. The sorcerer’s eyes softened at your clear happiness. “Well then, this calls for celebration. I’ll make my special Hellfire Mushroom Soup for dinner,” he said, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. A wave of dread passed over you and Luke, both scrambling from your comfortable positions to avoid having to sample another abomination the sorcerer would create. “Solomon wait!”

Simeon simply chuckled and shook his head, following you two to the kitchen.

Your relationship with the Purgatory Hall Crew and Diavolo and Barbatos had always been good. They had been your support at one of your lowest moments, and you felt safe with them. Maybe that was why you now felt awkward talking to the brothers and making plans with them again. For the first few weeks, you tried to make enough time for everyone. But there are only 24 hours in a day, and only so much time you could spend with people. Not to mention, shifting to Purgatory Hall meant less time you could spend with the brothers, and often you found yourself gently refusing offers to hang out.

“Hey MC, I found this new cat cafe that recently opened. Want to come with me to check it out?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry Satan, Luke wanted to show me a new recipe he learned from Barbatos today. Maybe some other time?”

“Oi, MC! This new casino just opened up, ya comin’ with me?”

“Oh, Mammon, I actually promised Solomon I’d go looking for Infernal Fungi with him tonight… How about tomorrow?”

“MC, there’s a new kind of perfume that came in Majolish recently, could you come with me to try it?”

“Sorry Asmo… I’m going to buy tea with Barbatos. How about you buy it, and I’ll try it after? Does that sound good?”

No matter how much you tried, it seemed to the brothers that you no longer had time for them.

Lucifer

Expected it, but boy was his pride crushed.

He knew you weren’t purposefully avoiding him and his brothers, but it still hurt when you turned down his offers.

Realized that this was how you must have felt, and his pride plummeted another ten feet.

Doesn’t really say anything about it, but everyone can see that he is noticeably kinder towards you.

Mammon

Angry at you at first. How dare a puny human not make time for the Great Mammon?!

That anger fizzles out just as quickly as it came, and then he becomes paranoid.

Do you not want to spend time with him? Did he already blow his second chance? Are you disgusted with him?

It can lead to two situations: 1, he becomes even more clingy of you and insists on accompanying you everywhere or 2. he just leaves you alone, thinking that you hate him

Treasures anything that you’ve ever given him more than he already does, and stops going to casinos as much as he used to before.

Leviathan

Oh boi

Drowns in an ocean of self-deprecation and self-hatred.

Of course MC doesn’t want to hang out with him, after all he’s just a yucky otaku who never leaves his room-

Deep down he wonders if this was how you felt when they all sidelined you

Tries to keep his envy in check whenever he sees you with Solomon and the others

Satan

He expected it as well, and isn’t too bothered by it-

That’s what he wants to show, but anyone who knows Satan can clearly see how longingly he looks at you when you walk back to Purgatory Hall with Solomon

He wishes he could have more of your time and attention, but he also realizes that this situation is a consequence of his and his brothers’ actions

Tries to spend as much time with you as he can

Asmodeus

Acts as though he is not that affected you’re not spending time with him, but it’s just an act

Deep down he wonders if you still find him beautiful both inside and out, like you used to before

Mopes around Solomon a lot, so the latter suggests having a sleepover at Purgatory Hall

Ends up sleeping over at Purgatory Hall at least every weekend.

Beelzebub

Doesn’t really notice it at first, mostly because you ask him to tag along to stuff if you’re busy with something and he says yes

Isn’t really bothered by it, he knows they broke your trust and it will take a long time for you to ever feel truly comfortable around them again

Offers to share his time with you with his brothers, he knows they must be missing you as well

Belphegor

Wants all your time for himself, but then feels guilty for wanting your time

Doesn’t know how to react to this situation, so he reverts to what he knows: acting like a brat to get his way

But once he finds that that makes things worse he’ll subtly try to cut back on his bratty attitude

Expect him to hover awkwardly around you when you’re doing stuff, trying his best to stay awake so that he doesn’t miss a single moment spent with you

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bylerpolls · 1 month

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For those who believe gay mike makes more sense/ ties up more loose ends, would you be satisfied if the show went the queer/unlabeled route (which IMO is more likely for a confused boy in the 80s than Mike using a specific term), but framed it in a way that could fit in with both gay Mike and bi Mike (especially if he has a heavy male lean) in which:

1) He genuinely did have a puppy crush on El in Season 1. He didn’t use El as a beard or go to her because he confused platonic feelings for romantic ones. They were romantic (lots of people who identify as gay now have had genuine early childhood crushes on the opposite sex, and obviously this would work if you see him as bi too).

2) In Season 2 he genuinely had a crush on both El and Will, but since he was already best friends with Will, he didn’t realize this. The Snowball dance was fully sincere. He wasn’t hiding behind El or anything.

3) In Season 3, during puberty is where everything went haywire. He found himself being more physically and romantically drawn to Will than El. Whether or not he has the hypothetical ability to be attracted to other girls is not even the point. It’s El or Will for Mike. And the point is that the gay feelings were overwhelming. Internalized homophobia was at all time high. Maybe he still liked El, but the puppy crush feelings were waning and he was realizing new things about himself.

4) In Season 4, his queer awakening becomes more pronounced, and he doesn’t like El like that anymore. He’s fully in love with Will AND checking out other boys. Again, Mike wouldn’t have to explain whether he’s ever liked girls before. The point is the queerness. The point is that he feels broken. The point is that he worries everyone will hate him.

With this, Mike could say he genuinely liked El at the beginning while also detailing his feelings for boys/Will in a way that can fit in with either theory. He doesn’t label himself specifically. The audience can interpret the nuances however they want. Mike’s sexuality still gets focus, so it’s not like he just moves from being El’s bf to Will’s. But it doesn’t bog itself down in the weeds of trying to put a concrete label to human sexuality. Many gay kids can relate to his story, many bi kids can relate to his story, and so can unlabeled kids. Thoughts on this?

A) Yes, I’m a gay Mike truther, but I’d be fully satisfied with something like this

B) I’m a bi Mike truther, but I’d be fully satisfied with something like this

C) I truly don’t care as long as he loves Will!

D) No, I’m a gay Mike truther and believe this would be a cop-out. He needs to be specifically, unquestionably gay for his story to be satisfying and make sense.

E) I’m a bi Mike truther and this wouldn’t be satisfying to me. Bi Mike is important to me and makes more sense with the narrative of the show.

F) I’d be fine with something like this, but with a few tweaks to make it make sense (say what those tweaks are!) But it’s overall fine for him to be unlabeled if his sexuality is given proper focus

#byler #byler tumblr #byler endgame #stranger things #byler nation #mike wheeler #will byers #gay mike truther #gay mike wheeler #bi mike truther #bisexual mike wheeler #bi mike wheeler #stranger things 5 #st5

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chaotic-carnifex · 7 months

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I just realized that most ppl who know I'm aromantic... don't know that I used to be alloro. And then greyro.

No, I don't mean I identified that way until I figured out I was aro, I genuinely was alloromantic until like, summer or autumn 2015? Then I noticed that I was getting fewer "casual" crushes (y'know, not those full-blown ones, but the ones that are like a spark of interest that you know could turn into something stronger under the right circumstances?) and that they were generally getting weaker. I found myself fantasizing less and less abt romantic relationships. And y'know those fictional crushes where you'd imagine being romantically involved with a character? Yeah, I started imagining more platonic scenarios instead. The romantic ones just... became less appealing.

Basically, over a span of several months my interest in romance diminished until, sometime in early 2016, it was just. Gone.

And I've been aromantic ever since.

The cool thing about all this is that 1) I knew about the aro-spec before then, so I never thought I was broken or mentally ill or anything, I knew it was okay to be greyro and then later aro and 2) I never had to question whether I was really aro, I never had the "how do you prove a negative?" problem, because I knew what being alloro felt like, I could feel the difference

The weird thing is that to this day I've never heard of anything like this happening to anyone else. But I guess that's why I'm posting this, so if anyone stumbles upon this post who has experienced this as well, they'll know that they're not the only one.

Now, I know a lot of you may be wondering: If my romantic attraction just went away one day, does that mean it might at some point come back?

And, well, it might. I don't know, I didn't know it could go away until it did. I can't see the future, but yeah, maybe one day I'll feel romantic attraction again.

I hope not though.

#aromantic #aro #aro-spec #actually aromantic #safeforaro

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fruitybashir · 10 days

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it's been 3 minutes since i read the last chapter and i just wanna ask how are our boys doing right now? will they eventually tell kris' parents that they were fake-dating but are together now? was the first officially-in-a-relationship sex good? how long has bojan been in love with kris? did he realize it during their whole friends-with-benefits thing or earlier?

okay okay okay lets get into it

1. how are they doing right now? well timeline wise, currently they are suffering. but right after the end of the fic? doing fantastic. im imagining since its a friday, kris takes another sick day and bojan skips his classes just bc fuck that, and they just went through a lot and finally have each other again and theyre both not willing to let the other out of their sight again for even just a second. kiki has probably noticed kris has not been doing so well lately, so he gladly covers kris' shift. they're gonna just lie in bed a little bit, answer texts from the other guys making sure the others know theyre doing fine, and then they take jans advice and fuck like rabbits.

on saturday they go to band practice together again and maybe just bc kris is a little shit hes gonna go "yeah the song was nice but the guitar could use some improvement" and maybe thats when they start working a third guitar into songs instead of just kris taking over bojans parts? who knows?

2. will they tell kris' parents that theyre fake-dating but together now? i think kris would want to keep that one a secret, mainly bc he knows theyre never gonna let him live it down and maks definitely wont, but he (very begrudgingly) does tell them. and they have a good laugh about it. for all eternity. bc i think miha and chantal are the kind of people who would find that shit hilaaaaaarious and bring it up all the time, they think its very very funny

and they also obv love bojan and are very glad to have him properly in their family now <3

3. was the first in-relarionship sex good? it was the fucking best. they didnt have to hold back anymore and enough "i love you"s were said to fill a book with it and then some. it was incredible.

4. how long has bojan been in love with kris? god i wish i knew. i just write the guy, i dont know what the fuck is going on inside his head. i think hes had a mild crush on kris for a while, over the last few years, not very deep or meaningful, mostly when kris picked up jan or smthn bojan would go "damn hes handsome" but that was the extent of it - also bc he was still struggling with his sexuality then.

i think over the holidate timeline .. hm. i imagine that crush skyrocketed when kris just slammed him against the wall that one night and then proceeded to give him the best head hes ever had lol. and i think he definitely acknowledged it as a crush then and it slowly developed into more. i think he maybe realised he was in love shortly after kris stayed with him when he was sick? the major factors there being that kris didnt just take care of him, but actually cared for him. he didnt just drop off some meds and left, he actually took the time to stay with bojan, took a sick day just to be with him, cooked for him, made sure he ate and drank enough, kept him company, everything. thats already an admission of love if you ask me. (both platonically or romantically) but that really did a number on bojan.

i even think bojan let himself admit that it was love pretty early on, but always had the safety layer of "we're just doing this for fun, so its okay if im in love with him bc the "only" consequence is having my own heart broken lol" but then when kris wrote him dopamin and bojan realised this could all be real, suddenly there were more potential consequences to deal with and well you read the last chapter lol

#well this got a little long. oops #i was thinking of doing that 'directors note' thing thats been going around btw? if anyone is interested in that?#now that the whole fic is finished like if anyone is still curious about specific scenes or has questions etc etc #inbox #anonymous #lore

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kataraslove · 6 months

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let’s talk about live action and kataang because i see a lot of anti kataangs using the age gap between aang and katara’s actors to their leverage.

“if they go the kataang route, there can at most be an implied endgame.”

do anti kataang/zutara shippers not realize how much that argument works against them?

if they go an implied route, there will be no ember island players non-consensual kiss. they can no longer call aang a rapist/predator/etc because that scene will simply not exist.

same for the day of black sun kiss. they can no longer state that aang had sexually harassed katara because again, that kiss will not exist.

same for “baby, you’re my forever girl.” they can no longer refer to that scene as a male gaze fantasy (even though it’s not) because that scene will not canonically exist.

same with the ending of the fortuneteller. they can no longer make the claim that katara was under some fortunetelling spell (figuratively) to convince herself that aang would be the one that she’ll end up with.

personally i think the live action will keep scenes like the implied kiss in the cave of two lovers or the dance scene in the headband. aang’s internal conflict in the guru may be when he starts to realize that he cares about katara a little bit differently than he cares about the others.

the teaser trailer demonstrates that aang and katara’s relationship (platonic for now) will be central to the series, just as it was in the original. that’s why we get the shot of the two of them sitting side by side with each other and smiling together.

by the time that they get to books 2, 3, and maybe if they do a book 4 - aang’s actor would have already hit a growth spurt. he’ll be 17 around the time of book 3’s filming and will already be taller than katara. have you seen the kid now? he’s grown quite a bit since he’s done the filming of book 1.

if instead of getting scenes like the ember island players, we get more scenes of aang standing up to sexists for disrespecting katara (“if you won’t teach katara, then I won’t learn from you!”) aang and katara learning waterbending together, aang praising katara, katara and aang connecting together as genocide survivors - I fail to see how kataang shippers lose?

aren’t anti kataangs the ones who state that the ship is extremely sexist towards katara? that aang was possessive and territorial over her the entire time? that the romantic moments were either out of character on her end or one-sided on his? that they would at least support the ship if those moments were removed? but now, when there’s the possibility that those moments could be, suddenly it’s “there’s no way live action kataang will be canon and endgame.”

there’s an opportunity for kataang to be written in a way that antis might refer to as “organic,” an established or implied endgame that will take the course of several years to build, with an emphasis on their friendship first. romance will come much, much later, if it even happens. anti kataangs operate on the assumption that if we remove their romantic moments but keep the same writing as is, that no one will ship them. that everyone will interpret it as a platonic relationship (the way they believe it was meant to be).

which does not work in their favour for several reasons:

the moments in which they claim has fundamentally destroyed katara and aang from ever becoming romantic equals, will be removed. that’s right. get your eip metas out right now, because that scene won’t exist in a few years, baby!

in lieu of some of these moments, we could get more of an emphasis on moments that strengthen and enhance katara and aang’s dynamic, that offer the promise that they will be good partners someday.

assuming that aang’s crush and feelings on katara will be a gradual transition, the arguments of one-sidedness lessens.

by the time we get to the third season, aang will be taller than katara, in addition to having grown older. this feeds the fandom’s heteronormative obsession.

again, i fail to see how this is a negative thing for kataang, especially since it’s so early with nothing but a trailer to make predictions off of. so many of you are always complaining about how you want to see a version of aang and katara’s relationship that’s “organic, without the creepy romance, with an endgame that actually feels deserved.” now that we are possibly getting that version you want so dearly, you cry and preach that it’s the end of kataang shipping once and for all? going off of nothing but their noticeable height and age gap in book 1 (where romance doesn’t even happen)?

it becomes apparent more than ever that it’s never been a matter of kataang’s writing in the series or about katara deserving better, but the general existence of kataang that continues to unnerve you.

#kataang #atla netlix

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aazel-art · 2 years

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I frequently see the popular take that Stede is completely blindsided by his romantic feelings for Ed until the kiss/Mary convo.

Although I enjoy the comedic affect of this, the reason it funny is because the idea of Stede's v romantic actions being completely subconscious is absolutely outrageous. To me, his revelation was more subtle.

I love Stede because I see in him, an older queer man who hasn't had a chance to have any past 'dalliances' and no experience recognizing the difference between like liking someone, and being in love.

Babe, I've been there. That's hard as fuck to recognize in yourself let alone accept from another person when your only exposure is ever second hand.

Coupled with Stede's self esteem struggles?

There are too many key moments where Stede is confronted by the fact to let it slide. From not contradicting Lucius' comment about the 'break up' to basically having the "We haven't had the 'past partners' talk yet" confrontation with Calico Jack.

In my opinion, Stede knew full well that he and Ed were in a romantic relationship.

Stede knows he has feelings for Ed. He knows Ed has feelings for him. He just doesn't know both of them are experiencing love.

It's okay for Stede to have his little harmless "crush" on Ed, because there's no way that it can last, right? He's repeatedly told that Ed's interest in him is incomprehensible. And Stede feels this. He thinks that eventually when Ed's bored of him, he'll move on. ( After all, he himself said he wasn't built for sitting idle- What happens when another Calico Jack pops up in their lives? There's no guarantee that he'll come back next time.)

"I'll let him set the pace. I'll take what he's willing to give and ask for nothing more- just enjoy this as long as I'm allowed to have it"

Stede fully expected Ed's interest would eventually run out and he'd be forced to let his little crush go.

Then Ed kisses him.

You know what Ed doesn't do? Explain what the heck that meant for him.

Because really, what does 'makes Ed happy' mean- what does a kiss mean? And more importantly, what does a kiss mean to the more experienced legendary Blackbeard? This is not the explicit clear declaration of love that we, the audience, know it is. Stede is simply too close to the situation to see it for what it really is.

Stede is visibly PROCESSING.

Ed asks him to run off with him.

And that's gotta be terrifying.

Cause of course it is! Throwing both their lives away on a gamble of a crush- that's insane. And how could he let Ed's legacy tumble for little old him?? Isn't this just another way that Stede is ruining him?

But Stede is remembering Mary's words, 'All we have is this one life...' So he says yeah, I think so, mmhm.

It's the most Stede's ever felt for someone before. And maybe Ed doesn't like Stede as much as Stede likes him, but he hasn't gotten bored of him yet. So yes, we have to try don't we?

Fast forward to the end of episode 10. Now we're finally here, the revelation with Mary.

You can see Stede's heart SWELL in that conversation. As my dear friend put it best: He's like a flower opening up.

And yeah, realizing you love someone is quite amazing.

But you know what's even better?

Realizing that someone loves you back.

That montage- it goes BOTH ways. Stede is not only seeing all the ways he loves Ed. He's seeing all the ways his feelings are reciprocated.

Oh. It's love. I love him.

A beat.

Oh. He loves me too.

And now he realizes what Ed was sacrificing his pirate persona for.

And heck.

Yeah, you do risk it all for love. You chase after it all for love. You gain everything for love.

End of season 1 Confident Stede isn't just because he realized he loved Ed. That's a man who knows he's loved in return.

Season 2, i'm begging you, give it to me-

Ed: i hate u, go away.

Stede: pft noooo shuddup, u love me

Ed: LIES

Stede: NUH UH, U LOVE ME, NOW GET BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY CREW.

I want them both to be in love and furious.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd

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greetingsfromuranus · 8 months

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Girlmoding double dee based off She's So Kawaii by LeetStreet Boys! Took me a while to come up with a good hat design (it needs to have bunny ears cuz of the song) but eventually remembered those hats with the long paw glove thingys from when I was a kid and realized they would be PERFECT for this (and historically accurate!)

I have a whole story for this in my head I'll put it down below :3

[Copied and pasted from when I described the idea to my buddies]

I should made a double dee x eddy animation to cosplay girlfriend or she's so kawaii where double dee is girlmoding out in public somewhere & nerding it up and eddy finds her and is like "damn this is the hottest chick I've ever seen" without realizing who it is and starts flirting her up HARDCORE and double dee is like "fuck fuck fuck what do I do" and just goes along with it because she's had a crush on eddy for years, and as the song goes on you see eddy getting to know her girl self and online persona (he asks for her blog and she gives it to him) and double Dee's really enjoying her time with eddy, but internally panicking whenever she gets home, at about 1 and a half or 2 minutes in (where the song gets to that quieter part) she tries to kinda isolate because she's scared that eddy would be mad if he found out who it really is, and near the end it shows a scene where eddy reaches out even harder and tells her he's really into her, then double dee snaps and comes clean + confesses everything she feels (it'll be a mildly humorous scene where she shows herself without any makeup and without her hair done up, but eddy still doesn't recognize her, so she puts on the hat and eddy instantly gets it all (its like a perry the platypus type deal it'll be really funny)), then eddy looks at her for a moment, pulls her somewhere a bit more secluded (maybe shes standing at his front door and he pulls her inside), then pulls her in and gives her the biggest most romantic smooch on the mouth and it ends with double dee smiling and laughing+crying (good crying). Cutest shit you'll ever see

#eene #ed edd n eddy #eddeddy #art #if you couldnt tell trans girl double dee is my favorite thing on the planet shes so cute #also her girl name is Dee #just Dee #its literally so perfect #shegkshskxbfbd s #i love her #Bandcamp #wow tumblr trued to break this post #i put it back tho

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telomeke · 4 months

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15 people, 15 questions

I got tagged by @colourme-feral (at this link here), @pandasmagorica (at this link here), @wen-kexing-apologist (at this link here), @dribs-and-drabbles (at this link here), @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas (at this link here) and @airenyah (at this link here). Thanks for tagging me guys! 🥰 Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season. 💖🎄

‌

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not anyone in particular; Mom's dad set out the names for the children of his sons but not his daughters. So Mom gave me a name that incorporates the concepts bright and strong. I sometimes like to think I was named after a laundry detergent. 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

I can't remember exactly… I never used to cry, not at stories or movies, unless they involved dogs dying (because that was my first exposure to grief, when my little furry boy died on me during my teen years). After more family members passed away though, I felt my core shift and now know what it is like to be moved to tears by a more human-centric grief and loss (I think I wasn't allowing myself to feel that before, as part of that armor you put on when out in the world as an adult).

And ever since I learnt my lessons I've cried a lot more often, sharing heartfelt moments with characters on the page or on the screen because I'm less afraid of showing emotion (as in, I no longer think of it as some kind of weakness). I think the last time I cried may have been watching Last Twilight? When I watched tough guy Mhok shedding his hard protective shell to love Day unconditionally, with the motivations behind his acts of love going mostly unnoticed and unseen by the object of his affections – e.g., the sunflower just before August turns up late, setting up Day's surprise birthday party and basically giving him away to others when you know his heart is telling him to keep Day for himself. 😢 (I've not watched Ep.7 yet, so I don't know if the meaning of any of this will change moving forward, or if there are more tears in store though.) And yes, I think the last tear I shed was when Mhok grabbed Day to kiss him at the end of Ep.6, to prove that he was loving him truly for his own sake, not plying him with secondhand emotion out of pity as Day had been led to expect from the world.

I may write more about Last Twilight in the future… It's easy to think of romantic love as a gift to be received, but Mhok really does exemplify that the human nature of love is rather more tied to wanting to give of oneself, and (for romantic love at least) that experience only achieves its fullest completion when it is met with the recipient giving you their love in return (or crushing your heart with rejection or indifference instead). And I do see the parallels between love rejected and grief; "grief is just love with no place to go" rings so very true.

3. Do you have kids?

No I don't, and it is maybe the one regret in life I will allow myself. "No regrets" is a great motto to live by, but if I could do things over again I might choose to have kids (whether my own biological kids or my own adopted ones; I'm a little too far gone and set in my ways to consider this now though). Never wanted kids before (noisy, troublesome, a dampener holding you back I told my younger self) – but when my nephew came along it was like somebody flicked a switch and I realized it was OK to feel that kind of unconditional love for another human being, for no other reason than the privilege of loving them. And I think being a parent (unlike a romantic partner) allows you to love truly unconditionally, without expecting anything in return.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Used to like playing soccer/basketball/badminton as a kid, but only unseriously and very badly. Nowadays I swim a lot and the gym is my second home (but I'm not at all some bulked-up gorilla; I don't have the genetics nor the inclination to abuse my body with steroids, which is the only way to look like the bodybuilders and fitness models IMO). But exercise does wonders for your mental health in addition to your physical fitness; it's been my refuge whenever things got horrifyingly stressful in life by providing an outlet for stress, plus endorphins to make you feel better. It just doesn't feel like it would be any good when you're going through it, but you can sense it after. Which is also part of why it's so hard to get yourself up and exercising when you're down; the hardest part is overcoming the inertia that is doubly weighted whenever life is stressing you out. I always have to remind myself that the more I don't want to go to the gym, the more it is I probably need to go.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm? What, ✨MOI✨? (Yes I'm being sarcastic here. I can be a bit too barbed with people I know, so I've learnt to pare it back, but my propensity for sarcasm has done me no favors in the workplace. It's also why I understand people putting up hard-shell defenses – shoutout to Pran in Bad Buddy and Mhok in Last Twilight.)

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I think their general demeanour and what their overall body language is conveying.

7. What’s your eye color?

Darkest, darkest brown; so dark it looks black in all but the brightest light. You can't see where my pupils end and my irises begin.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. Don't like horror movies and I won't pay to watch them.

9. Any talents?

I have a number of interests, but whether or not I have any talent in them is for others to judge because – even though I'm proud of some of the things I've done – my ever-critical perfectionist's eye can never fail to see flaws and things I could've done better. Everything is always falling short in some way. So my interests are: languages and linguistics (I can handle a few languages, but only a couple have acceptable fluency while the rest are still in pretty rough shape, IMO). Love to write (in English only, more focused on fact than fiction, but even then the inspiration doesn't always flow). I have an ear (but not an abiding love) for music, so I will often be singing if I'm alone and need more than silence around me. I'm interested in biological sciences (wanted to be a palaentologist as a little boy; isn’t that every kid's dream at some point?) – animals, plants, and nature fascinate me. I used to like dabbling in visual arts, but that's been deadened a bit by having to work with some of that in my job (maybe that's why the visual aspects of BL will always fascinate me though). And I think I do have a knack for research, looking things up and putting facts together so that they can convey some kind of message or bigger truth.

10. Where were you born?

In the delivery room of a maternity ward. My roots are in Asia though, if that's what this question is getting at. 😆

11. What are your hobbies?

Scrolling through Tumblr takes up way too much of my time, but yes that is one of my hobbies. I watch BLs now and then, and from that I go on to do the odd write-up about aspects that interest me (especially culture, linguistics and BL visuals). Another current obsession is baking up fruitcake variations (part of the culinary landscape of the season) and this will continue as a hobby until I've baked it out of my system. I love to watch cooking shows, but I do this more to pick up tips on how to make my meals quicker, easier and tasty enough for me (I don't love cooking, but I cook a lot, to get around dietary intolerances more than anything else). Also – gym and swimming a few times a week.

12. Do you have any pets?

None at the moment. We had dogs growing up and I am an avowed dog lover. But when you're a working adult it wouldn't be fair to leave a dog alone for most of the day while you're out at the office, so I never got one after I began working. Plus dogs don't last long (15 years is already geriatric for a pooch) and I'm not ready to face the shattering grief when they have to leave you. But never say never... Maybe I'll get a kitty for a change? 🤔💖

13. How tall are you?

I'm tallish; tall in some countries, average in others. Taller than Singto, shorter than Ohm. 😆

14. Favorite subject in school?

Art and art history? We had a dream lecturer who made the subject come alive. Also a psychology elective that I took, for all its insights into the human mind. In school school it was a mix depending on my mood and the topic of the day: English, geography, biology, chemistry, mathematics, or art. Didn't like physics or economics at all.

15. Dream job

Something in research and analysis backing up the boys in The Sign. 😆 Or maybe volunteering at a charity to help with food/housing (but I can probably only think about doing this after securing my own retirement).

Onward tagging (I can't count so don't expect this to be 15): @7nessasaryevils, @crzshaly437, @faillen, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @neuroticbookworm, @greenreflections, @recentadultburnout, @thecleopatrawannabe, @nihilisticcondensedmilk, @allthegoodusernamesaretakenhuh, @lamonnaie, @non-binarypal7, @twig-tea, @williamrikers, @gillianthecat, @hughungrybear, @solitaryandwandering, @starryalpacasstuff, @rane-ab, @serafyne, @silvercrystal1, @tsukitsuki077, @5raccoonsinatrenchcoat, @vegasandhishedgehog, @reformedcharacter, @writerwithoutsound, @bengiyo, @gelofhellyeah, @shortpplfedup, @dc-alves, @zhaagdewin, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts and anybody else who wants to play! As always no pressure if you don't wish to play either.

If you've already played do tag me with a link so I can read your 15 answers too! 🥰 (And I left out some mutuals because I see you've already been tagged; let me know too if you've already played so I can head on out to read your post as well! 😍)

‌

#tag game #15 people‚ 15 questions #always fun to play 🥰

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mirtola87 · 6 months

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"Tale as old as time", or how Good Omens planted a seed in my soul that's growing more and more (bettah) [1/2]

Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I just wanted to share my totally-personal-maybe-relatable experience with Good Omens, trying to figure out why it became sort of an obsession for me. This is a 9-years story so far, and - spoiler alert! - the passage of time played a major role in the evolution of my perception. (English is not my native language, so please forgive my faults!) I first read the book about nine years ago. I was in a public library in Bologna doing research for my PhD in literature, when I stumbled upon the Italian edition. I was driven by the funny title, which was translated as "Buona Apocalisse a tutti!" (we could back-translate it to English as something like "Merry Apocalypse!" or "Happy Armageddon Everyone!"). I was Christian raised, and among all the books of the Bible, St. John's Apocalypse had always fascinated me, I guess because it was the one that most resembled a fantasy book. So I took the book from the shelf and started reading it. Soon I realized that I didn't need it for my thesis because it didn't fit the topic (I did use Coraline, Mirror Mask and Sandman, instead!), but it bewitched me right from the first lines, so I decided to put the library copy back on the shelf, purchase a copy in English and read it for pure pleasure. I enjoyed it so much that it became one of my favourite books ever. I was young and bold and had no idea that almost ten years later that story was going to mean so much to me and tear me apart. Time passed by, and my life went on. In 2019, when the show came out, I was eager to watch it. The book was a masterpiece, and the show proved to live up to it. David Tennant and Michael Sheen were absolutely perfect in their interpretations and made me love the characters even more. While reading the book, I had found the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley fascinating and irresistibly funny, but I didn't sense any love vibrations between them (and apparently they weren't supposed to be there yet, as we know from Neil that the love story is canon for the series but not for the book). I didn't read anything about the show before watching it, so I was quite surprised when I realized that there was something between the angel and the demon that I hadn't noticed 5 years before. I didn't see it coming at all, and I was all like, "Wait a sec... are they FLIRTING? I didn't remember that..." It was as in one of my all-time favourite songs: "Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly". This unexpected twist left me somewhat bewildered: it was like I had suddenly realized that two long-time friends of mine were having a crush on each other. It was a bit odd as I was totally clueless about it before that moment, but then the season ended more or less like the book did, the way I already knew. That was cozy and reassuring, and all those longing glances between Crowley and Aziraphale were just an extra icing on the cake. At the end of the story, their love hadn't been named (yet), just suggested. That happy ending was nice, gentle and romantic, leaving their relationship open to interpretation and imagination. I turned off my TV with a deep sense of amusement and satisfaction, and kept on with my life. Four more years passed, then a friend of mine told me that S2 was out (I'm not very good at keeping up with news myself, I admit). I knew that there wasn't any sequel of the book, so I was surprised and really didn't know what to expect, but I knew Neil Gaiman himself wrote the script, so I was confident it had to be good. And of course it was. Since my partner hadn't watched S1, I decided to rewatch it with him before starting S2. This time I KNEW that there was something going on between Aziraphale and Crowley, and the bewilderment of the first watch gave way to something different, a sort of complicity. I found myself shipping them fondly and smiling at every little clue of their untold love. "Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise." Life was good. [Continues in Part 2]

#good omens #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #aziracrow #aziraphale and crowley #tale as old as time #neighbour of the beast #ineffable husbands #ineffable love #grow better #david tennant #michael sheen

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prongsmydeer · 8 months

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Ayesha Liveblogs Heartstopper S1

I will not lie to you have put off watching this show for so long because I thought it might hurt my feelings but I think I'm finally ready to put myself through it

I didn't realize we'd be starting this show with Charlie already in a clandestine relationship. Alright, diving right in

Call me crazy, but I think this guy who is causing Charlie's brain to create gentle cartoon leaves might be the guy he falls in love with:

"Still don't tell anyone about this." Heartwarming words from Secondary Love Interest Ben

"Why are you talking to me? I don't even know who you are." Ben, love, I think you're overcorrecting

Tao saying "Bro Dude Friends" in an American accent tickles me

God I remember not being allowed to have a phone at even at lunch in school. Dark Times

"Have you talked to your friends about it? "They wouldn't get it." HAHAHA the one realistic teacher who deflects dating questions back to the teens

Immediately I like Tori. "Was he a knob?" is exactly the right question to ask

Charlie's imagined romantic cutaways are very fun

"I don't just fall for any guy who's nice to me," said Charlie, as if he had not immediately fallen for Nick on the basis of them just saying hi to each other and having one conversation about ink stains

Genuinely I hope this rugby endeavour ends with Charlie making a bunch of friends and discovering a love of sport

Update from 1 montage later: I think it has!

Also I am immediately invested in Tao and Elle's relationship. They miss each other so much, it's very sweet

This episode took a really harsh and unexpected turn with Ben's reappearance. Bring back the rugby montage

"It was normal," said Nick, in a very convincing statement that no parent would find troubling

Nick said: Move over Charlie, I can also have a cartoonish dream sequence. Welcome to My Instagram-Induced Homophobia Fever Dream

Immediately I'm relating to Nick. I too get stressed out by watching other people type and have to put away my phone. Also it is becoming clearer and clearer that he's going to be the one who is slower to come to terms with his own feelings

"Thank you for being my supportive straight friend." HAHAH bold of Charlie to assume. But I get that it opens the door to that conversation

"You know, when I was a teenager and had a crush on a straight boy, I just repressed it and suffered." Mr. Gay Teacher speaking to the real Teenage Experience LMAO

I love Elle making friends at her new school 💗 Not to stereotype but I do think girls are more welcoming as a social group

Nick has touched Charlie's hair one too many times today to be convincingly straight hahahah

"Nick likes a girl," said Tao confidently, as if the 'girl' Nick's friends had been teasing him for texting was not Charlie

"You've befriended the school lesbians." GOOD FOR ELLE

Nick thinking about holding Charlie's hand but stopping himself. Sweet boy

"I don't think he's straight," said Tori, after witnessing one of the gayest goodbyes I've ever seen

Nick staring at his team photo like he can rugby away gay thoughts

HAHAHAH doing the "Am I gay" quiz and getting 62%. I am so Nick-coded. He is so me. Someone stop these Repressed Queer Blond British Boys from being so relatable hahaha

"We don't want to make a big announcement or anything... just maybe not hide so much." I'm not sure which part of this interaction I liked the most, 1) Nick and Tara immediately establishing they weren't into each other 2) Tara telling Nick she is a lesbian, modelling a chill coming out and 3) Tara immediately giving Nick a sly look as soon as he mentions His Best Friend Charlie

Both cold and cool for Nick to tell Harry off for being homophobic at his own birthday party

Tao making Elle promise nothing will affect their friendship because he is clearly in love with her already LOL

Nick being visibly comforted by seeing happy queer people around him. Once again, relatable:

Very funny of the show to only NOW warn me of strobing effects, which have been bothering me for quite some minutes as I tried to get a screenshot of that scene LOL

"I'm dying." "It's cause you're old." To friends literally months older than you is honestly one of my favourite jokes

Nick said: The quiz was right! I AM at least 62% gay

Charlie immediately realizing he's got himself into another situationship with a guy who is definitely not ready to come out

"It's not that I didn't want to [whispers] kiss you.. I was just so confused. I've just been so, so confused." The immediate juxtaposition between Ben, who did not give a damn about Charlie's feelings through his sexuality crisis, and Nick, who not only apologized right away, but also is actively trying to explain how he's feeling to Charlie 🥺💘

Charlie is also representing a real group of people who are The Only Out Kid At School Whom All Other People Figuring Out That They're Some Type of Gay May Inevitably Direct Their Feelings

"A lot of gay people are good at sports, Charlie," said the Rugby Coach, slightly offended on behalf of all gay athletes

LMAO @ IMOGEN'S "I'm an ally" scene, I've seen it before

Also she really does give me second-hand embarrassment. Read the room girl!!!

Tao is so hostile to Nick undeservedly ghggghhgh Nick wasn't the one who threw the rugby ball but he did get pelted with it by Tao after

LMAO @ Darcy immediately clocking Nick and Charlie as a couple

"Why are the other team literal adult men?" Ah, a classic sports dilemma

"You've got some mud on your face though," said Nick, like the rest of both of them including his own face was not also covered in mud

HAHAHAHA Isaac also immediately clocking that they are sitting way too close and gazing too much to be just homies

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NICKKKKKKKKKK YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE SAME BEN TRAP. BE BETTER! YOU ARE SEEING SOMEONE!!!!!!!!

I know he's just trying to be a good friend to Charlie and I don't know if it's Tao's hair and face but he's reminding me of someone I know (who had a lot of emotional issues) and it's giving me a bit of the heebie jeebies hahahah

"Do you like this girl?" "Well, um, her dog died." HAHAH NICK, this poor people-pleasing boy

"Tao, no, it's his birthday," Tao is a rough mix of incredibly loyal, moderately possessive of his friends and lacking in any social graces whatsoever

Also if Tao understood what was going on, he'd be TWICE as mad. It's growing more deserved by the minute

"I was going to say I'd send him a strongly-worded DM, but murder's fine too." Hahahahah Tao

I've never seen a more uncomfortable exchange of the words, "You're a good friend." LOL:

Even if this whole Imogen thing is still pretty messy, I give a lot of credit to Nick for telling Charlie about it and explaining the context as well as clarifying he was going to put an end to it before it happened

"I wish I'd met you when I was younger," said Nick, like 16 isn't still pretty young

"I really like you." "You like me?" "Yes, wasn't that obvious?" HAHAHAHA they're so silly, I love them ❤️

I love that Charlie and Nick are so into each other they can't help but have a bit of PDA everywhere they go

Elle said: You're not the only ones capable of cutesy animations for the friend you're secretly in love with, Charlie and Nick

Do you think Isaac's like, 'Damn, this is an above average amount of romantic tension for a bowling outing'

"Mamma Mia." "We've seen that four times this year already." Nick continues to be extremely me-coded, including looking up the best LGBT movies nghghgnjg

I said this MOMENTS before he googled being bisexual. INCREDIBLE

"Do you wanna kiss? Would that help?" [Sarcastically] "Wow." "Just a suggestion." Charlie said: Sorry about your sexuality crisis, my love language is giving u a leetle kees on the lips

AWWWWWWWWWW I loooooove Nick finally having someone to talk through his sexuality feelings with outside of his boyfriend

"Kissing you is actually one of the things that made me realize I don't like kissing guys." "Okay, happy to help?" Nick 💖

Personally I LOVE the triple date and Meddling Gays Groupchat

Charlie is so blindingly smiley every time Nick acknowledges to someone that they're together it is the sweetest:

In fairness to Tao being the last to know, he is 1) The only one who actively dislikes Nick and 2) The only cishet person at the table

Must be rough for Tara to go from everyone only ever talking about how fit she is to all the crap of people thinking they're gonna catch lesbianism

It would've been VERY funny if they all got locked in the closet

"They all probably think I'm this like, gay nerd." "Well, you kind of are a gay nerd." Nick said: You're MY gay nerd, Charlie

"Oi, just look at him behind him. Like a little girl." Harry's got so many issues. He's literally in the same proximity to Ben, what's his problem?

"Quick question. What's it like being gay?" Not that EVERY homophobic character is secretly gay, but it does seem more and more like Harry is 🤨

"I'm not even gay. I just felt really sorry for you." Since ep 1, I have strongly been suspecting that Ben will be the one to out Nick and Charlie and I feel it even more strongly now that he has eyewitnessed their handholding

Also it does NOT bode well that this ep is called Bully

"[Charlie] has a friend who won't leave me alone," said Harry, as if he has not been the one pelting Tao and calling him names to deal with what is probably a little gay crush repressed deep under thirteen layers of stupid and mean

"None of us are being homophobic." I feel like people are now growing up in this weird era where people ARE still homophobic but unwilling to admit it because it's less acceptable. It's fucked up to have someone do something bigoted to you and say it's not. At least when someone's horrible upfront you are facing an enemy that's showing its face

I don't blame Nick for finally losing his cool. Also wild of Harry to pick a fight with someone who is obviously bigger than him

"Some of the rugby boys are nice." "Even they just... stood there." There comes a certain point where being able to associate yourself with bigoted people must mean that you are at best indifferent to the people they harm

"I think I know why he hasn't [told me]. He thinks I'll accidentally say something stupid and out Nick to all of Nick's mates. And obviously he cares more about Nick's feelings than he does about mine." SEVERAL THINGS, TAO. 1) IT IS OBVIOUS why he hasn't told you, it's because you have shown numerous times you don't like Nick. 2) Why the hell is OUTING THEM even on your list? 3) In a situation where you COULD accidentally out Nick, his feelings are OBJECTIVELY more important than yours! And 4) This possessiveness towards your friends is part of the problem!!!

"This is all your fault," said Tao, as if Charlie had forced him to fight with Harry instead of literally intervening upon it

I get that Tao's a teen and he's hurt Charlie's priorities are different and he's short-sighted but GOD take some personal responsibility

"He said he doesn't wanna talk to you." If Charlie ends up being the only one to apologize for this I'm gonna be SO mad

All other things aside, I'm glad Tao and Nick are bonding

I love how consistently useful it is that Charlie can run fast

"You don't get to make me feel like crap anymore just because you hate yourself." YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHARLIE

DOUBLE APOLOGY, AS WAS WARRANTED FOR THESE TWO:

The butterflies appearing on Tao's side so we know the feeling is mutual ahhhhhhhhhh

If Nick is leaving the rugby match to kiss his boyfriend, that is the FUNNIEST possible thing he could do, surely it could wait til after the match rather than mid-mandatory-sports day

The update is that he was desperate for a conversation, which seems more reasonable LMAO

"My life is way better because I met you." NIIIIICK 😭❤️

Charlie is really coming into his own today. The most nonconfrontational boy crams three different emotional confrontations into one sports day

Bold move to make out in the school corridor mid-mandatory-sports day. In general, interesting how often people are macking around this school. But I understand, it was a very romantic conversation:

"I love liking you," said Nick, like that wasn't one of the most romantic things I've ever heard

"Does this mean we're boyfriends?" "Oh, yes. Was that not already established the last like, ten times we made out?" HAHAHA their DTR talks kill me a little

"Thank you for telling me. I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't." I was nervous for Nick for a moment, but I'm so glad for him now

"It's called bisexuality, if you've heard of that." LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO not Nick genzsplaining bisexuality to Mama Nelson aka Olivia Colman, of The Favourite fame

What a sweet and charming show

#ayesha liveblogs heartstopper #ayesha says things #heartstopper #finally watched this!#it was lovely #spoilers for all of heartstopper s1 #liveblogging #television

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indecisiveenby · 8 months

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~~Rant~~

I hate the argument about how queer is a slur and an off-limits word/label. because like it's the only label I've found that really truly resonates with me. I'd been trying to find something that fit right for about three years when I started using queer.

first I was bisexual, bc I was very new to queerness, in the sense that I knew about binary trans people, gay men, and lesbians, and that was like it. and my close friend had just come out to me as bi, and I was like "holy shit, there's a word for being into both genders? that's allowed??" something deep in my being snapped, and it was like I could see the world correctly for the first time. bc this was how I had felt my whole life. I was crushing on girls and either suppressing it or mistaking it for a platonic love. and I was making up extra crushes on boys, to overcompensate.

so then I dove deep into queer culture and learned about all these orientations, but also found out about the gender spectrum and fluidity. so here was this huge gender thing crashing down on me with the realization that "wait, I can be feminine, but I don't have to be a girl? and I can embrace my masculinity without being a boy?" and I was a little in denial for a bit and said I was gender fluid bc I think I was too nervous to admit that large of a change to myself, that I wasn't what I had thought I'd been my whole life, so I decided to just pretend I was a little bit that. (THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT ACTUAL GENDERFLUID PEOPLE ARE IN DENIAL ABOUT THEIR GENDER. THIS IS JUST WHAT I DID. ILY GENDERFLUID PEOPLE, YOU'RE COMPLETELY VALID <3)

and this gender thing took for-fucking-ever to figure out, but I'm settled on transmasc nonbinary. so where did that leave me for orientation? I kept thinking things like "maybe I'm a lesbian. idk if I like guys all that much," or "well actually idk if I like girls," or "what if I don't like anyone. I think I'm aroace." and eventually I said omnisexual/romantic, but I was still thinking these things.

because here's my deal: if I find myself attracted to a girl, I'm like "this is a gay ass feeling." and if I find myself attracted to a boy, I'm like "feeling real fruity rn." and any other gender, I just feel gay if I am attracted to someone. never do I look at someone and think "wow I wanna spend so fucking much non platonic time with you in a fully heterosexual manner."

at the same time, I often think about all those crushes I made up, and the way that I go so so long without having a crush and how I am content with not having a romantic relationship and how my past romantic partners never clicked right. and I think "perhaps I really am arospec."

and I think of how I've never been sexually attracted to someone, with like two exceptions ever, and those two people were people I knew very well. and how the idea of having sex seems like something I could participate in, but only probably for someone else's sake, not something I'd initiate. I think of how sometimes I feel like I never ever want to have sex ever bc I just don't want someone to touch me like that, or to touch someone else like that. I think of how sometimes I actually am really into the idea of sex, hypothetically. and I think "is there a spot on the ace spectrum for that?"

and so I look at all of this and I am faced with the question: "how the hell do you put all of that under a label?"

there are two answers here; 1. I don't, and I go unlabeled. I hate this answer. my autism loves to sort and label things. (of course there's an exception for other people. if someone else is unlabeled I'm not gonna say "actually you're this." this only applies to myself and my own things) 2.

Queer !!!

queer is the only label that can encompass all of that, for me. obviously, I could use a bunch of microlabels, and I love microlabels, really, I just would probably lose track of everything quickly.

so yeah, I have a huge fucking issue with people saying that I am not allowed to use the only label that's ever felt like a home to me, the only label that's ever fully covered everything that I am and everything that I feel.

if you don't want to be called queer, good, I won't call you that. but I will not stop calling myself queer. if you have a problem with that, then like actually fuck you

#queer #queer is not a slur #bi #omni #arospec #acespec #aroace #gay #lgbtq #rant

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kyanitedragon · 1 year

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I wanna talk about how "fast" and yet well-done the Clankie slow burn is

When we first heard that the show was going to feature Frankie x Cleo, I was really unsure about it

When it was first confirmed the show would have a queer relationship, I had figured that the queer rep of the show would instead be:

Clawdeen and Cleo, who hit it off immediately in the first couple episodes

Draculaura and Lagoona, because Draculaura is a closeted witch that feels very queer-coded, Lagoona's line of "a romance between a monster and a witch", and soon after that they became fast and very endearing friends

Frankie and Deuce, because they hit it off as friends from the start and are very goofy and upbeat and would make an interesting couple dynamic

Compared to all that, I honestly couldn't see how Clankie could be an option, nevermind canon.

We were several episodes in when the Clankie leaks came out, and at the time, Frankie and Cleo didn't have any interaction.

I couldn't picture how their interactions would be, because they hadn't interacted yet. Even their gen 1 counterparts didn't have too much one-on-one interaction. My mind was just entirely blanking on any possible Frankie / Cleo dynamic. I couldn't imagine what it would look like.

But then Pyramid Scheme happened. And we got to see Frankie's crush confirmed. It was shown so perfectly. It was subtle and not forced, yet very clear to the audience that it was in fact a crush.

Then Crushed happened, and we got to see not only what Frankie and Cleo's dynamic was - which I had thought was long overdue yet amazingly it was shown so naturally. And with a great moral lesson, too! - But also, we basically got to see what Cleo means to Frankie and what exactly they see in her.

And now, Horrorscare, which not only shows Frankie both falling deeper in love and trying to further bond with Cleo. But also showing Cleo's side - what Frankie means to her and what Cleo sees in them. And, by the end, it seems that Cleo's gained a crush and is just starting to realize it.

People have talked a lot about how great it is that we're getting Clankie content so early. A lot of canon queer relationships only ever become canon by the end of the series. You get to celebrate them becoming canon and getting together and maybe kissing once or twice, and then that's it, show's over, that's all the romantic content you get.

And I agree, it's great! We're in 11/26 episodes right now, and both sides have crushes! And we know from the leaks that the finale will feature Frankie asking out Cleo. Which, now knowing how Cleo feels, I'm sure she'll accept Frankie's proposal. And we have a season 2 confirmed, so maybe we'll see them as an established couple from the get-go!

But I also want to talk about the slow burn. Because it's slow burn, but its a fast slow burn! We went from friend to crush in the same episode, and then confirmed reciprocated crushes in the next episode. In 15-minute episodes, no less! Where there's also B-plots happening!

It's fast, and yet it doesn't seem too fast, y'know? The way the writing is, it feels natural and well-written. I'm really impressed with the writers.

I can't wait to see how their relationship further develops. And I especially can't wait to see what happens in the finale!

(Also I wanna shout out to all of you Clankie truthers that have been shipping and blogging since the beginning! Congrats on calling it so early, and congrats on the canon ship!)

#monster high g3 #mh g3 #clankie #g3 frankie x cleo

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orpheus-lovett-thenardier · 7 months

Text

Alrighty screw it, here’s some neurodivergent & lgbtq+ headcanons of musical characters, as someone who’s both of those things

Disclaimer 1: Bigotry and dumbassery will not be tolerated.

Disclaimer 2: These are just my opinions, headcanons I made for fun. You don’t have to agree with them, and you’re free to have your own interpretations. Just be respectful.

• Enjolras is ace and on the aro spectrum. He’s never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, and he’s only ever been romantically attracted to Grantaire. (And France./j)

• Grantaire is gay, and very in love with Enjolras. I don’t think I need to explain any more than this, lol.

• Cosette is bi. She discovered this after realizing she had a small crush on Eponine as well as Marius.

• Marius is also bi.

• Eponine is ace demiromantic, and also nonbinary. (Specifically using she/they pronouns.) She could never understand how the people around them could fall in love so fast, and with people they hardly knew. She didn’t fall for Marius until they formed a close connection with him. Regarding gender, they’ve never felt like she wasn’t a girl, but they didn’t feel fully like one. She felt sort of like a girl, but also like something else. It took them a while to figure out what exactly it was because she never felt like a boy, they just only partially felt like a girl.

• Orpheus is autistic. His special interest is music, and he loves talking about it to anyone who will listen. (Usually it’s Eurydice or Hermes.) He fidgets and stims a lot, and is also very awkward and doesn’t quite understand social cues. He tries his best, but always finds himself accidentally making things weird. Sometimes he worries that Eurydice will stop loving him because of his autistic traits, but she assures him that she loves him for who he is. Also, he’s somewhere on the ace spectrum, though he doesn’t use any specific labels.

• Persephone is also autistic, though she is much better at masking it than Orpheus. She also has ADHD.

• I’m chill with many different interpretations of Sweeney, but I think it’s quite interesting to hc him as trans or nonbinary. (I mean, what cis person names themself Sweeney?/j) He was in the closet when he first started dating Lucy. He was terrified of coming out to her, but eventually did, and she was quite accepting. She was relieved that maybe this meant they didn’t have to keep their relationship secret, and this was also how she realized she was bi. He also came out to Mrs. Lovett at some point before being sent away, and she was also very accepting, and has proven more than once that she’s really good at using people’s chosen names, as it was really easy for her to start calling him Mr. Todd when he returned from Australia. (Also, Mr. T could be a very punny nickname in this case.)

• Sweeney is also autistic. He’s gotten decent at masking in public, but whenever he’s at home, he makes no effort to hide his autistic traits. He stims quite frequently, usually by aggressively shaking his hands, punching his arm, fidgeting, or pacing. (Is pacing considered a stim? I feel like I do that a lot as a stim, but idk.) He also has an incredibly strong sense of justice. This is most notable when it comes to himself and how he’s been wronged, but he also feels that way on a societal level too. He rants a lot about people who get mistreated and people who abuse their power. (Mrs. Lovett can attest to this, as she’s usually the one he rants to.) Prior to being sent away, he felt like Lucy was the only person he could truly be himself around. Post-incarceration, Mrs. Lovett ends up being the one to fill that role. At first he’s quite nervous, but he ends up opening up more, and realizes that she’s a safe person to be himself around. In fact, she’s the easiest person for him to be himself around, because she’s also neurodivergent.

• Speaking of which, I headcanon Mrs. Lovett as being autistic and having ADHD. She’s always got several different trains of thought, is all over the place, and though she’s chatty, she’s a bit awkward, and feels that Sweeney is the only one who truly understands her. She’s also had many special interests and hyperfixations throughout her life, and is known to infodump a lot. She stims by flapping her arms and doing little dances. She also has some vocal stims, like humming or singing random notes to herself.

• Mrs. Lovett is ace. For a long time, she never told anyone because she was terrified of being judged for it. She was also scared that no one would ever love her because of it, and though there was no way Benjamin could’ve known, she sometimes felt like maybe her asexuality was part of why he chose Lucy over her. In attempts to impress him years down the line, she’d sometimes act in ways that felt strange and uncomfortable to her. In order to make herself feel better about it, she’d tell herself that it was like a comedy act, and that it was more about being funny. (She’s also the type to be really good at making sex jokes because sex is a joke to her, although she doesn’t joke like that often. Her preferred sense of humor is puns.) After a while, feeling like she can no longer hide it, she finally comes out to Sweeney, and nearly breaks down crying while doing so, fearing that she’d ruined her chance at him ever loving her. To her surprise, he accepts her, and he comforts her until she calms down, letting her know that she never has to make herself uncomfortable for his sake.

• Toby is the kind of person whom people can’t tell if he’s gay or aroace. He can’t tell which one it is either.

• Tbh, every version of Wednesday Addams feels autistic coded to me, so I’m including musical Wednesday as well.

• Morticia Addams has bi wife energy. Gomez is her number one ally.

• Lydia Deetz is hella sapphic. The Maitlands are the first people she comes out to, and they’re extremely accepting. After a while of being nervous, she finally comes out to her father and Delia, and they also accept her. Delia isn’t super educated on everything, though she’s well-meaning, and she even buys a sapphic flag colored crystal for Lydia. Beetlejuice takes her to her first pride event. It’s chaotic for everybody there due to Beej’s presence, but it’s definitely a fun time for Lydia.

• I also headcanon Lydia as autistic. Her special interests are ghosts, horror, and photography, and she loves infodumping about them.

• Beetlejuice is pansexual. I suppose that one’s not really a headcanon and is actually a thing in the musical, but I still wanted to list it.

• Martha from The Secret Garden is ace and autistic. I mostly say this because I’ve played her once, lol. Idk, I just like the idea.

• Veronica Sawyer is the biggest disaster bi.

• Jo March is ace and on the aro spectrum. She doesn’t really care all that much about sex or romance, though she has occasionally felt romantic attraction. She doesn’t really care about gender when it comes to the people she likes, but she does also identify as sapphic because she really likes girls. (I mostly like the idea of her being sapphic because people suspect that Louisa May Alcott was, and she based Jo off of herself.)

• Christine Daaé doesn’t really use any labels, but she did once find herself crushing on both Raoul and Meg.

• Meg Giry is sapphic, which she realized after having a crush on Christine.

• Because of that one line in Driving Through the Moonlight, I have decided that Prince Topher is ace now.

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void-botanist · 7 days

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let’s start with 1-5 for all the polycules! -@vacantgodling

This is gonna be a long one lol. But first, a little note on these polycules for those who don't know: they're legally mandated for the royal family (Kiatcarmen, Marcus, and Minaya) and have at least one of each sapient species in them. That's why Jimmy was replaced in Kiatcarmen's polycule when he died, whereas in an organic polycule, that likely would not happen.

1 - How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flow chart.

Kiatcarmen: there have only ever been five at one time. But those members have shifted twice, when existing members died. Kiatcarmen and Ashmalo are Marcus and Minaya's parents.

First set of members:

Second set of members:

Third (current) set of members:

Marcus: seven, technically. It remains to be seen whether Heith will stick around. With the exception of Heith, it's safe to assume they're all friends. Gren only knows OF Heith, since Marcus met her on another planet. Yera and Hossan recently had a baby. Also they don't actually have non-cow ears I just couldn't rally myself to make updated picrews for this post.

Minaya: six, all pretty much friends. Dawn is currently pregnant with Arbores's baby. Lanya is permanently annoyed with Arbores because his state of being is sort of to just disappear into the woods and not engage that much with the administrative/royalty things he, Minaya, and Dawn manage.

This isn't all the existent relationships in these polycules but it is all the most notable ones.

2 - Did the relationship start polyamorous, or was it a monogamous relationship that eventually opened?

All three of these started as technically polyamorous relationships, though they grew little by little. But if you look past the legal requirement it's a little more complicated. Kiatcarmen's polycule has always been a mess, and to be honest she would have been just fine having just Jimmy.

Yera and Hossan in Marcus's polycule started out as a functionally closed couple within the whole (they don't actually restrict each other to this but that was how it was anyway) but a couple years in, Marcus married Gren and Gren became besties with Yera. Over time this morphed into Gren being their third partner, but Gren is still very mobile between the different members and divisions of the polycule.

Minaya's polycule, once completed, was functionally three parallel couples (Minaya and Lanya, Dawn and Arbores, and Lucy and Ramona) until Ramona fessed up about her crush on Lanya and those two couples merged into something like a quad.

3 - If it started monogamous, how did the process of opening the relationship go?

Marcus: for a while it wasn't clear whether Yera and Hossan's relationship was going to open - maybe Yera just had a new fuckbuddy. But Gren and Hossan spent a lot of time together incidentally, and Gren also wanted to be friends with him too, and over time Gren just sort of got absorbed into their dynamic. There was a little jealousy they had to work out (Hossan was very used to being Yera's singular obsession), and there was a conversation at some point, though, when Hossan realized that he no longer thought of Gren as a separate external addition. He still doesn't think of himself as polyam but considers Gren in the same breath as Yera.

Minaya: opening her and Lanya's relationship felt easy. For a while, though, it was pretty much just sexual. That was easiest for everybody, especially with Lucy and Ramona being away for training and competition a lot. But over time it's developed into a more romantic dynamic, which has been fairly smooth, despite Lucy's defensiveness and Lanya's counter-defensiveness. There is some uncertainty about how things will change once Minaya ascends the throne, though.

4 - Are there any mono-poly relationships in the polycule?

Kiatcarmen: sort of. Despite having a sexual and quasi-romantic relationship with Pirianus the only person she's ever considered her partner is Jimmy, so in essence she has always been the monogamous person connected to her own polycule through her very popular spouse.

Marcus: no, but only because Heith isn't monogamous.

Minaya: Lucy teeters on the edge here. She's never outright decided she's monogamous, but she also doesn't have a lot of patience for maintaining multiple romantic partnerships.

5 - What “shape” is the polycule? A triad, a “V”, a straight line of metamours, or incomprehensible?

Kiatcarmen: currently, a cul-de-sac. Kiatcarmen only considers Pirianus anything close to a partner, Pirianus has complicated relationships with her and Thade, and Thade, Caladea, and Orvi are all just vibing with each other. In other words: almost entirely metamours and meta-metamours from Kiatcarmen's perspective, and something resembling a cohesive whole from Thade's.

Marcus: in Marcus's absence, it became kind of a bow tie, with Gren in the middle between Yera & Hossan and Umedes & Pali, and Marcus and Heith as a separate island. Upon his return, it expands into more of an anglerfish - Gren is still the point of connection between Yera & Hossan and Umedes & Pali, but Marcus has joined Umedes and Pali, and also has a connection to Heith.

Minaya: it's more or less a quad (Minaya, Lanya, Ramona, Lucy) with an orbiting couple (Dawn and Arbores).

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