void-botanist - Tumblr blog

void-botanist · 15 hours

Note

oops forgot my taglist @vacantgodling @kk7-rbs

7, 8, 18, and 22 for the polycule asks!

I added 6 from your other ask too :3 Thank you for so many questions!

Jimmy and Ashmalo are dead at this point but I'll include them for funsies. Just remember that Jimmy and Thade and also Ashmalo and Orvi were not in the polycule at the same time and didn't know each other.

6 - Where do each of the members land on the “solo poly” to “entwined” spectrum?

It's worth noting that all of these people live in the same palace and each polycule has their own shared quarters, where each person also has their own private rooms. That said:

Kiatcarmen: solo, though with Jimmy the lines got blurry, and it was nice.

Ashmalo: he wanted to be significantly entwined with the polycule in theory but in practice they were such an untrustworthy mess that he settled for being somewhat entwined with Caladea.

Jimmy: he loved being a little bit in everybody's business. Taking a solo approach meant that he could dip in and out of things as he saw fit.

Pirianus: he wants to be entwined, but only with Kiatcarmen. She won't let him in very much, so he ends up being solo.

Caladea: she likes being entwined, to a point. In her opinion polycules are fun because they let her be close with people but give her more space to not end up in a relationship that's basically a monogamous marriage.

Thade: despite his attempts to talk himself out of it, he wants to be entwined with Pirianus, and that doesn't seem like it will ever happen, so he's been sliding into further entwinement with Caladea and Orvi. He's still for the most part solo though and that doesn't seem like it will change.

Orvi: solo in most respects, but he's open to getting more entwined, and he's been trending that way with Caladea and to a lesser extent Thade. He would never want to merge his space and way of being entirely, though.

Marcus: he likes being entwined but he's afraid of it - afraid of relying on someone else too much. It's possible he buckles and gets spatially entwined with Heith so that she doesn't have to keep living in a hotel room on Aephar.

Yera: being entwined with Hossan and Gren is so much fun, and in general, what is she living in the same palace as people for if she can't be entwined?

Umedes: they are partially entwined with Pali - not as much their space as their time and intimacy (for instance, they're the only spouse who has ever been allowed to see her shift). They kind of regret not trying to be more entwined with Marcus before he left. In general, though, they end up being kind of solo, because they struggle to see themself as an embedded part of the polycule.

Hossan: entwined - his space and Yera's are the same, and as far as their triad with Gren is concerned, he sees them as a collective family/relationship unit. Even his other less close spouses feel like part of his extended family universe.

Pali: she splits the difference - in many ways she is solo, with minor entwinements with Gren, Umedes, and Marcus (when he's around), but she generally acts as the leader/lead schemer of the polycule and takes on some responsibility for their well-being.

Gren: somewhat entwined with Yera and Hossan - he spends a lot of time with them and living in their space, including sleeping in their giant bed with them - and generally the kind of person who likes having his particular role in the whole (which is not JUST being everybody's lover. He's also a parent now and real big on getting people [Pali] to take care of themselves).

Heith: solo. Always has been, has never planned not to be, but reserves the right to change her mind.

Minaya: entwining with Lanya was a no-brainer, and she kinda wishes there was more entwinement across her polycule as a whole (she's a bit envious of Marcus's polycule).

Lanya: he has firm boundaries for how he organizes his time and space and so on among the spouses (which means Minaya gets the most intimacy for all senses of the word), but within those boundaries he's quite generous and wouldn't mind having deeper entwinements with Dawn and Ramona.

Dawn: both. She's mostly entwined with Minaya and Lanya, and while they don't share their private spaces, they do work closely together, and she sees herself as a critical part of the polycule and its goals beyond just being an heir-bearer.

Arbores: solo. He doesn't like relying on people and very much likes being alone. That said, he sometimes will appear in Dawn's rooms and stay there for days or weeks, just because it feels like the right thing to do.

Ramona: deeply entwined with Lucy since before she married Minaya, to the point that she specifically requested that Minaya also marry Lucy. Mildly entwined with Minaya and Lanya.

Lucy: deeply entwined with Ramona, but basically solo when it comes to the rest of the polycule. She likes things just so and doesn't feel the need to share her setup with anyone but Ramona.

7 - Where do each of the members land on the “free agent” to “community oriented” spectrum?

Kiatcarmen: the freest of agents. The rest of her polycule can fuck off to hell.

Ashmalo: mostly a free agent, but very cognizant of the potential polycule consequences of his actions. When it came to parenting, he considered himself more of a unit with Caladea.

Jimmy: pretty community oriented, though being Kiatcarmen's favorite spouse meant that he always had her as a trump card, so when it came down to it he was really walking the line between the two.

Pirianus: free agent, because he's never really seen himself as actually a part of this polycule.

Caladea: attempted to be community oriented but the realities of this fractured polycule have made her much more a free agent.

Thade: free agent, but in the present day has become more community oriented.

Orvi: if he wasn't a free agent he'd never get anything done. But he collaborates with Caladea and Thade more and more as time goes on, and would include Pirianus in things if Pirianus had any interest in actually participating.

Marcus: very community oriented, which is partly because he frequently doubts his own judgement. It's been weird for him to be away from his polycule in this respect.

Yera: splits the difference. She cares very much about her partners but she hates the feeling of being dependent on them.

Umedes: sees themself as very community oriented but outwardly tends to be more of a free agent and more concerned with Pali than the polycule at large.

Hossan: also splits the difference with the larger polycule but is more community oriented with his little triad with Yera and Gren.

Pali: free agent, hypothetically, but in practice she's also the one organizing the polycule's decision-making process for things that affect most or all of them.

Gren: very community oriented, though he is a lot less reliant on other people for decisions than it seems like he would be.

Heith: she appreciates the importance of community decisions but really she's on her own until such time as she actually becomes embedded in a polycule and isn't always leaving herself a wide escape route.

Minaya: community oriented. Her polycule feels loose and distant at times but she needs there to be harmony if not closeness.

Lanya: community oriented, but it's no secret he privileges what would work for Minaya.

Dawn: community oriented, because she wants to build bridges here, not burn them.

Arbores: free agent because if he cannot vanish for days at a time he will explode (or so he says).

Ramona: splits the difference. She cares about her decisions being workable with the polycule but in many respects she is just acting as the bridge between Lucy and everyone else.

Lucy: free agent, except when it comes to Ramona. She will abide by polycule decisions but she doesn't need them and they don't need her.

8 - How did each member realize they were polyamorous? Did they always know, or was there some sort of epiphany?

Kiatcarmen: honestly? She's not, but she always knew she had to have a polycule.

Ashmalo: he always figured he had the capacity to be polyamorous, but he didn't particularly mind whether he ended up in a polycule or not.

Jimmy: he always just assumed he was - it's always seemed like both the natural state of things and the most efficient way to do things to him.

Pirianus: he figured it out sometime in his early adulthood when he realized he was in love with two different people at once.

Caladea: at some point in her youth she heard someone frame polyamory in terms of infinite love and she decided that fit her pretty well.

Thade: he just goes with the flow and got himself wrapped up in a polycule (one that was mostly being built by other people but still) before he even specifically considered that he should call himself polyamorous.

Orvi: he didn't fully realize it until he was in a frustrating, stifling marriage with his ex-husband. That wasn't why they got divorced, but it was one straw on the camel's back.

Marcus: he was always expected to have a polycule, but that didn't mean he had to be polyam. It dawned on him slowly. The closest thing he had to an epiphany moment was realizing that he was in love with both Umedes and Gren and accepting that as sufficient evidence that "polyamorous" actually described him.

Yera: it followed pretty easily from her decision to enjoy life to the fullest. She just assumed she was.

Umedes: they've more or less always known, but never expected it to be relevant.

Hossan: he's not entirely convinced that he IS polyamorous. He very much has a balanced triad with Yera and Gren, but is he actually polyam or is this just an accident of circumstance?

Pali: she jokes that it's just the most efficient way to do things, but really she just sort of fell into it. But she's never felt like her deep connections should be limited, so it makes sense.

Gren: he's not really surprised that he's polyamorous, but he never really thought of himself as mono or polyam until after he started falling in love with people in Marcus's polycule. He's an extremely social person, but he's also demiromantic and never considered that he would end up in a situation where he had multiple romantic relationships. Not that that has ever bothered him - polycule of friends-with-benefits is just as good.

Heith: she always thought being in a polycule would be fun, and then it was. Why limit herself?

Minaya: she chafed at the idea of having to have a polycule when she was younger, since her mom's polycule has been anywhere from "messy" to "a nightmare". But before she started marrying she decided that she wasn't going to let Kiatcarmen's fuckery define her future polycule and her potential for polyamory, and that was when she decided she should give polyamory a real try.

Lanya: he's pretty much always suspected it but never had a good opportunity to try it prior to marrying Minaya. Even then, it took a while.

Dawn: she's aro and doesn't really consider herself polyamorous. However she does call herself that, as a shorthand for "a polycule is the best possible way to get your needs met and also to raise a child".

Arbores: he's also aro and feels zero attachment to "polyamorous", "monogamous", all that stuff. His position is [shrug]. Basically he's in a goofy collection of legally bound friends. (His aroness is not why he's kind of disconnected from the polycule at large - it's just that aside from Dawn they just don't vibe with his interests that much and that's fine with him.)

Ramona: she just is whatever she is. If pressed she would say she's polyam, because demonstrably she is. But she doesn't feel the need to call it anything.

Lucy: she's pretty sure she's monogamous actually, but she only came to that conclusion when things started developing romantically with Minaya.

18 - What are their “vetoes” for potential metamours? Do they have any at all?

None of these polycules are really likely to get more metamours anytime soon, so this is all fairly theoretical.

Kiatcarmen: she has none because she doesn't give a shit as long as said metamours aren't ruining her image.

Ashmalo: he would not have vetoed a metamour for anyone except Caladea, which never ended up being an issue. He didn't really have an internal list of reasons to veto, but for a long time the most likely reason would have been "bad for the kids". That or "will be a spark to Kiatcarmen's powder keg in the worst possible way".

Jimmy: any kind of metamour could have been a good thing for him. And realistically he would never have had a metamour that he was not also friends with benefits with. So he really didn't care.

Pirianus: he could not accept Kiatcarmen having another romantic partner (which doesn't ever happen after Jimmy's death but you know Pirianus has thought about it). He also could not accept having another Thade in the polycule. He would lose his mind.

Caladea: she is very calculating about who she would let into the polycule as a metamour, especially because right now things are pretty decent and she wants to keep them that way. She could find a reason to veto anyone, let's be honest, but she would focus on the big picture. But where Kiatcarmen is concerned, she can have anyone she wants and Caladea will say nothing forever.

Thade: he jokes about the kinds of people he would veto but as long as his partners are chill with it he doesn't care. However if he had real veto power he would veto any potential partner of Pirianus's that he didn't actually like. He doesn't have that power tho so…[shrug]

Orvi: he would only try to veto a potential metamour if he calculated that they were going to hurt one of his partners. Otherwise it is so not his responsibility and he also does not have a problem with asking someone to keep an annoying metamour out of interactions with him. However if the potential metamour is Kiatcarmen's partner it is not his business he does not see this. He has however asked Caladea and also Thade to not let him get involved with someone like his ex-husband (who was not that bad but was very bad for him), because he knows someday he's gonna be tempted and he needs someone to absolutely tell him no.

Marcus: he really does not want to veto any metamour ever, not least because he doesn't want anyone to feel like he's "in charge" of this polycule that was legally built around him, but if they give him a bad feeling he's gonna have to have a conversation.

Yera: she would think twice before trying to veto a potential metamour from Umedes or Pali, because what does that really have to do with her? She would struggle not to veto any potential partner of Hossan's who would remain her metamour, because as much as she really does believe neither of them should be beholden to each other, he's not supposed to have a romance she can't be part of. Interestingly she doesn't really feel the same way about Gren's metamours but she's pretty much always had metamours with Gren.

Umedes: they would never veto a metamour. Not only do they not really feel strongly about other people's partners, any metamour that was troublesome would be vetoed by someone else long before they would take any action. Besides, it's not really their business, is it?

Hossan: he feels much the same as Yera about their relationship, though after Gren he has a hard time imagining a situation where Yera would have a romantic connection with someone but he wouldn't. It would take a lot for him to veto a metamour for anyone, including Yera, but it's not out of the question - though there is a chance he would assemble a case that they were just "not good for the baby" instead of actually sifting through his feelings about them.

Pali: she will think long and hard before vetoing a potential metamour, but if she sees them not working out in the existing dynamic, she will argue for their removal. More than anything she does not want another shifter in the relationship because she doesn't want someone to argue with her about how she's been managing the shifter coalition in court.

Gren: there are three kinds of people Gren does not vibe with: entitled people, people who scare him, and people who think they could/should be the slut spouse. If the metamour isn't one of those he's fine with them, and would they like a cookie and/or to have sex with him.

Heith: she doesn't feel like she has the right to veto anyone's potential metamours except Marcus's, and honestly if they're not making his depression worse and are genuinely respectful of her, sure.

Minaya: she honestly thought that having a metamour via Lanya would be way worse than it actually is. But she is not interested in any metamour who might want to set up shop in their shared quarters.

Lanya: he doesn't think he could deal with another annoying metamour. He doesn't have the patience to keep working things out like he did/does with Lucy, and another Arbores? No.

Dawn: she would prefer if any potential metamours could just not do that until she's settled into being a parent a little? Like in 3-5 years?

Arbores: are they A) interfering in his ability to do whatever he wants or B) interfering in his actually quite satisfactory relationship with Dawn? No? Whatever, then.

Ramona: she doesn't care, unless they think it's funny to make jokes about her needing industrial strength hoverskates to hold up her weight, in which case she's going to cold shoulder them until it cauterizes the wound (gets them kicked out).

Lucy: to be honest she has a laundry list of reasons to veto a metamour but she knows no one gives a shit so she distills them to the most important ones: 1) man who hits on her (she's a lesbian damn it), or 2) anyone who hates skating.

22 - Who has the strongest communication skills in the group? Who has the weakest?

I had to make a chart about this because none of them are universally bad at communicating, but some of them are nevertheless very bad. When I say "mundane communication" I'm talking about stuff like schedules and who made tomorrow's lunch.

[send me more polycule asks, for these polycules or one of my smaller ones]

#self reblog

4 notes · View notes