strawberry-cowmilk · 2 days ago
ikea with the brothers
-> brothers x mc
mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read
content warnings: none
he will only go to ikea when he actually needs something, and he will get only said thing
because, you know, ikea is pretty far away from your average mall
if you are the type to get a little too excited in ikea, he will hold you back from impulsively buying a cool looking lamp
he will straight up not set foot in the store if his brothers are with him though, which is understandable honestly
'mc! look! this chair goes all the way back!'
cue mammon falling from that chair and two ikea employees coming to check on the situation
if you're looking at something and mammon notices, he'll grab the item and 'complain' about 'having to buy it now' because otherwise 'you'll cry'
in reality, he just wants to see you happy
also I feel like mammon is that one guy who grabs a handful of those tiny pencils and shoves them in his pockets
it was a huge challenge to drag him out of the house in the first place
but everybody including you thought this man needs a proper bed
not a whole bathtub
levi doesn't like the fact you have to walk though the whole store until you get to the part you need to be at
he just wants to get what he needs and leave, this is why he loves akuzon
he probably knows what he wants before he comes into the store
hopefully your ddd has enough battery because satan takes hours to pick a bookshelf
when he sees the cat products you regret not bringing your camping equipment with you
lucifer isn't happy when he finds out how much satan spent on cat items
he doesn't care much about the furniture, but he will spend hours looking at the home decorations like mirrors and plants
speaking of plants, he gets two of the same kind and gives one to you so you can have matching plants in your rooms
asmo brings satan along to carry all his bags
if you are the type to get mesmerised by the cool lamps, asmo can't save you, satan is the voice of reason
he came here for one thing only: the meatballs
the chef may or may not start crying because how are they supposed to cook this many meatballs in such a short period of time
he will share them with you though
when you actually look in the store, beel will get something for you and each of his brothers
he wasn't really looking forward to travelling a pretty long distance for a furniture store when akuzon exists
probably falls asleep in one of the beds on display
an employee is going to have to wake him up, which belphie won't be pleased about
this may or may not get you kicked out of the store, depending on the employee's mood
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How do the Obey Me Brothers eat their cereal... headcanon?
Lucifer would try to eat while making sure his brothers don't do anything stupid. Single mother Lucifer. He would spend half his time eating and half the time telling his brothers to do something. A very fast eater.
Mammon would try to steal someone else's cereal just to sell it later. Simp would definitely buy them. He would like to eat high-quality cabbage cereal, but he can't afford it. would really like the toys that some cereal packages contain. Would definitely like to collect the whole series. Just because he can.
Leviathan would definitely play Ruri-Ca's cereal. The ones that pay dirt. But simp has to do what simp has to do. No one else was allowed to touch his cereal. Spends half the time eating cereal and the other half staring at Ruri-Chan's picture on the cereal box.
Satan eats his cereal with a fork just because he can. Would definitely try to stab his cereal and imagine it's Lucifer. Otherwise, his eating would be "normal". They might be cat-shaped. If someone pissed him off, those cereal would "learn to fly".
Asmodeus there is certainly no shortage of cereal. Many companies would be willing to pay a lot for Asmo to eat their cereal. Cereals would vary according to trends. Maybe give the leftover cereal to Beel.
Beelzebub eat at least two packets of cereal every morning. And maybe a little at night too. He doesn't really care what kind of cereal they are. As long as they are edible they are fine. Would also try to wake up Belphie during breakfast.
Belphegor would definitely fall asleep while eating cereal. Or you wouldn't have time to get up before breakfast is already over. How is he not suffocated? No one knows. Sleeping in a cereal bowl is not good for your health.
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gr8mammon · 2 days ago
MC: Asmo, are you okay?
Asmo: No, but I’m pretty.
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tsuncoon · a day ago
Happy Halloween! More Fizzarozzie witches! Fizz is very protective of his candy hoard, Ozzie should have stole from children too if he wanted any!
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radarchives · 2 hours ago
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daily-mairuma · a day ago
Day 97
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3 days until Day 100!
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tshortik · 3 months ago
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The Beginning of the End.
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wehavekookies · 2 months ago
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Finally had some time to paint a thing for Calamity, so had to start with the Champion of Asmodeus, Zerxus Ilerez, because Hell Yeah :)
Also, available as a print here: >>inprnt store<<
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cloudmancy · 3 months ago
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totallynotzzombiecat · 3 months ago
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'We will soon be as broken as our promises.' Zerxus Ilerez and Asmodeus, the Father of Lies
Gosh... i'm so excited and nervous for the campaign finale!! :o
Upd: MY GAWD thank you SO sooo much for all the interactions and love!!! this is just insane 😭😭🧡🧡🧡✨
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thechekhov · 2 months ago
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The Invitation of Asmodeus into Exandria (cir. 189 Pre Divergence)
Huge thank you to everyone who made EXU Calamity for making me feral enough to do this, and huge thank you also to @saturdaysky​ for teaching me things about colors so that this could turn out the way it did.
Closeups under the cut!
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akigumidrb · 3 months ago
lucifer | satan | asmodeus | beelzebub reacting to you accidentally saying you love them at the end of a phonecall
originally written on: 26/03/20
my kofi <3
kinda a part 2 to this post
it’ll catch him off guard for like a MILLISECOND 
you won’t even realise it because you’re too busy trying to die from the shock and embarrassment
so it SOUNDS like he’s just being all suave and chill when he replies, “love you, too.” before he hangs up 
it’s only after that will Lucifer allow himself to panic in the privacy of his office or room 
????????? he was supposed to be the one to confess to you first!! :( 
he even wanted to plan it out and everything 
but he doesn’t dwell on it too much because there’s a bigger issue at stake: finding you and making sure you’re not already digging your own grave 
surprise no. 2 of the day is when he finds you outside his door, ready to knock, face like a tomato 
surprise no. 3 is when you ask, “did you mean it?”
suddenly Lucifer’s face is all red and hot, too
“Of course I did.”
he’ll just reply as per usual, saying “bye” before hanging up and returning to his book or something 
his mind very desperately wants to be convinced that it really was just a slip of your tongue and that you didn’t mean anything by it 
because it’s easier to be ignorant and unhurt 
unbeknownst to him, you’re on the other end, wondering why he didn’t seem to show any sign of even hearing you say those three words
you kinda assume that he legitimately didn’t hear you, which is disappointing 
gradually though, your respective thoughts start to occupy your minds to the point where you’re all each other can think about 
right as you’re about to call him to ask if he actually did hear you the first time, he calls you first 
without saying hello, Satan just goes, “I love you. Do you… really love me?” 
even if you hang up, Asmodeus WILL keep calling you 
you think he’s just being annoying but on his end, he’s blushing like crazy, rolling around on his bed like a madlad
sure, he’s gotten tons of confessions before and has heard like a million “I love you”s but yours is SPECIAL 
he wants to savour it as much as possible 
after you block his number, now a flustered, nervous mess, he’ll pop by your room (he literally teleports to your room) and attack you with cuddles
“Ne~ say it again, please?” 
he becomes a lot more gentle and tries to coax it out of you 
once you give in, Asmodeus will hug you so tightly and press kisses all over your face 
he’s been waiting so long for his precious human to say those three words to him :’)
he wants to slap himself for replying like a dumbass but that’s legit his instinctive response lol
neither of you will hang up (since you’re still in shock) so you just end up hearing him chew over the phone for like a minute straight 
“What’d you say? I didn’t hear it.”
he’s a goddamn liar and you know it 
but he’s also too cute for you to not repeat yourself 
“I said that I love you.” 
“… Really?” 
“Where are you now?”
“My room.” 
he hangs up 
before you can even process anything, Beel’s at your door 
once you open it, he stares down at you intensely for several seconds, internally trying to pull himself together because his heart is racing like mad
“I also love you.” 
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a-really-bad-decision · 3 months ago
you know what I take it back there’s actually nothing funnier than imagining asmodeus planning and implementing this intense, homoerotically charged honeypot, only to immediately get son-zoned by zerxus
Asmodeus: Ohhh I’m so vulnerable 😥 🆘 and hurt….. 🥺🤕 I sure could use a big, strong 💪🏋️‍♂️ paladin to bandage 🩹❤️‍🩹 my wounds….. sowwy 😿 I look like your dead husband 🪦😵 and also the most beautiful 😍✨ man you’ve ever met…. I can’t help it…. 😔🫣 You’re just so special 😳 …. I’ve never met a mortal quite like you before…..😏🤭
Zerxus: this is great. I’m gonna get a good grade in dad, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
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vethbrenatto · 3 months ago
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This is not who you are! Who am I? You’re not this! How have you forgotten?
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thread-theocracy · 4 months ago
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Obey Me as Bugs Headcanons
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radarchives · a day ago
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hansdampfinallengassen · a month ago
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Zerxus Ilerez, First Knight of Avalir, and Asmodeus, Lord of the Nine Hells.
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