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i-heart-slashers · 2 years

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"C’mon, smile for me! It’s not like I’ve done anything yet.” + “Running doesn’t matter. I’ll hunt you down if I have to.”

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): kidnapping, yandere, implied stalking, obsession.

Taking a ride from Eddie Munson was practically social suicide, but after he missed the turning to your street, you began to wonder if it was closer to actual suicide climbing into his van.

You had never really believed any of the rumors that had spread about him.

In a way, you felt almost bad seeing him return back to school year after year, but he weirdly didn't seem phased by it. He always seemed upbeat and chaotic; maybe that's why you chose to trust him.

Driving up to you while you walked in the rain like a knight in shining armor, his broad smile beaming as he opened the window calling your name and motioning for you to jump in.

When Eddie pulled into the secluded part of Skull Rock, you began to truly worry, but you were a nice person and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe he just needed someone to hang out with but was too embarrassed to ask.

It was that kind of naive thinking that got you thrown over Eddie's shoulder as he dragged you into the back of his van.

Not long after stopping the car, he lunged for you and pulled you across the seats onto his lap before dragging you out of the vehicle.

Tears rolled down your face as you burrowed yourself into the back of the van, as far away from Eddie as possible. The metalhead was busying himself, pulling a rope from the junk it had coiled around.

Feeling a breeze, your eyes moved towards the van's open door. If you could get out before Eddie could realize you had moved, you might have enough time to outrun him.

His loud laugh spooked you from your daydream. "Running doesn't matter. I'll hunt you down if I have to." he threatened sardonically as he finally unraveled the rope.

You shivered as he crawled towards you, pulling your hands together and expertly tying them together. "How come the only way I can get your attention is like this, huh?".

His words were obviously pointed at you, but his tone made it seem like he was talking to himself. He was known for ranting out loud; maybe if you let him vent, he'll realize how crazy he's being.

"Other guys trying to get my girl's attention-" with every bitter word, he tightened the rope around your wrists "-but she's mine." He gives a dark chuckle, and your stomach tightens as the danger of the situation hits you.

He wasn't messing around, and he didn't take you here just to talk or make friends.

Eddie Munson was as crazy as they say, but not how everyone thinks.

They see some satan worshipping demon, but you were seeing the real Eddie here, the one who took hours of his day to follow you around unseen by you or anyone else.

You would never have guessed that he liked you or even thought of you as his, but the more he rambled about your life, the more you came to see how he knew every little detail.

Like how Andy from the basketball team had been in your house, it may have only been for studying, but that didn't matter. He'd gone missing a week ago. Now you know why.

The curly-haired crazed guitarist stroked his hand down your cheek with a fake pout "C'mon, smile for me! It's not like I've done anything yet." His eyes flashed dangerously as his thumb traced your lower lip.

Seeing Eddie's ring-covered hand slowly closing the van door, your tears began to fall even faster as the light from outside disappeared, leaving the van in darkness.

Your hands were suddenly forced above your head as Eddie's lips touched your jawbone "...yet".

#yandere #horror #horror slashers #slashers #reader insert #stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things season 4 #tw yandere #male yandere #yandere stranger things #yandere eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #yandere x reader #yandere prompts #birthday prompts #prompt challenge #dark fics #horror baby birthday

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tsudelune · 1 year

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Hi can you please write nene and Mizuki with a self conscious s/o with social anxiety? Ty and have a nice day!

'' i'd like to stay by your side ,,

- nene kusanagi x reader, mizuki akiyama x reader

a/n : thank you for requesting! my wonderful friend thankfully helped me with writing some headcanons out :) i'm also done catching up with my old requests, so yay!

warnings : none :)

style : hc style (bullets)

- you guys wouldn't be much different from each other. nene also has difficulty talking to others and being confident about her abilities.

- you guys probably met because of those similarities!

- nene can most definitely relate to your struggles, and wants to help you overcome that anxiety.

- if you ever watch nene perform, nene would probably send over nenerobo to you and check up on you occasionally. like you good?

- performing and interacting with wxs gave nene a chance to come out of her shell. when she first thought of the idea to have you meet wxs, nene thought she was out of her mind (honestly, meeting wxs would be a whole circus LMAO)

- eventually, with a bit of talking with rui, she let you meet wxs because that's how she became the hardworking actress she is today.

- if your ever nervous to talk to anybody, nene can step up for you! even though she's pretty shy herself, she's grown as a person and wants to show you that she can help you, as long as you trust her.

- nene is a hardworker yet never acknowledges her talents and abilities. she isn't confident about it due to that one show she failed as the lead role. nene always tries to find improvement in any aspect, often overthinking it.

- if you have similar tastes in hobbies (singing, acting, gaming, etc) she always compliments your skills. whenever you deny it, she insists even further.

- i like to imagine that the two of you often compliment each other, letting the other know how amazing they are (words of affirmation, basically)

- nene is thankful that she ended up with someone like you!

- mizuki understands. they've gone through what you're feeling, and will support you just like how their friends had supported them back then.

- they would hype you up when you feel nervous. online, offline, publicly, privately, whenever!

- if you were to start texting them during 1am (when 25ji meets), venting about your troubling feelings and how insecure you feel about yourself...mizuki's got a LOT to say.

- 25ji could probably hear mizuki's rapid typing.

- mizuki is strong on pda, so hand-holding is often. whenever you have to interact with/ask anybody, they reassuringly squeeze your hand, letting you know that they are right next to you :)

- they would also be willing to speak up for you whenever! but mizuki would want you to at least try to socialize.

- mizuki doesn't want you to go through what they went through in middle school, with the growing insecurities and social anxiety. at least now, mizuki feels at least a little more confident about themselves and doesn't feel as nervous to talking to people as they did before.

- mizuki wants to be with you every step of the way; willing to help with your struggles.

- if your also concerned about your appearance, well-- mizuki's got your back!

- mizuki would make outfits for you (even make matching ones too!)

- they would help you pick out clothing and accessories when you shop, hoping that your confidence grows bit by bit.

- mizuki adores you lots, so try your best for them!

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pumpkzsafeplace · 11 months

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(warning: teeny tiny vent) hihihello! I haven’t regressed in so long due to personal reasons, but I want to so bad. I’ve been pretty lonely lately. I have a hard time making and keeping friends, even online. Mostly the reason I haven’t been regressing is bc I feel so lonely without a cg to take care of me. any tips or suggestions? - 💤

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

hihi lil bug’ 🌼

oh no, i’m super sorry to hear about that :(

first, regarding friends i would say to just keep tying your best <3. friends are tricky to keep a hold off, especially if one person is trying harder than the other. but the right person will come along, trust me <3.

regarding the cg, id say if you’re looking for one, maybe make a ‘looking for cg’ post and see if anyone gets in contact. in the meantime:

-> make up some routines of your own, include treats as well to make it more fun.

-> create an activity board and try something new every day to keep you busy.

-> make up your own little games, be a little inventor.

and keep your chin up, i believe in you little one <3 we all do! and we’re here if you need us <3

big, big, BIG hugs 🫂, i promise you’ve got this!

- 🍰

#agere blog #age regression #agere community #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw little community #sfw little blog #sfw little post #agere little #agere caregiver #agere #agere lifestyle #age regressor

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saedii-gilwraeth-simp · 2 years

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Tydii angst idea

They have a fight and Kal and Scarlet have to comfort them.

Ooh our soft angsty babies. Also, trying to figure out what these guys argue about and how they would be comforted was fun

"I mean, how dare he? I'm a Templar of the Unbroken, I do not need protecting, I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and our child," Saedii rants, her glove-clad fists thudding heavily against the punching back Kal held.

Did Kal think she should be boxing while pregnant? no. Considering her rage at Tyler, was he going to tell her that? fuck no.

"I do not need to move myself away from my work just to be kept under his eyes. I mean, what the fuck? He doesn't own me, we don't need to live together to raise a child. I'm a modern woman. Ugh," she punctuates her groan with a hit to the bag that Kal felt in his chest.

"I feel I need to ask if you're seeing Tyler's face on the bag," Kal says and Saedii finally stops hitting, leaning her forehead against the bag and letting out a heavy breath.

"No, I don't want to injure him, I just... you know that idea that people with commitment issues will run further away the more they need to commit? This feels like that. Like Tyler wants to be a family and I want that too but I haven't known what that feels like in so long that I lashed out and hurt him..." she pauses and her shoulders shake. "And I didn't want to hurt him," Kal hears her sniffle and she stomps her foot. "And this baby is making me so fucking emotional about everything."

"Yeah they do that," Kal says and Saedii turns and slides her back down the bag until she sits on the floor. Kal sits beside her and tucks her into his side.

"Thanks for letting me vent even though I know you want to defend Tyler," she says and Kal shrugs.

"He is my brother, but you are also my sister. I'm just glad your hitting a bag and not a person," Saedii snorts at that and lets out a short laugh.

"Do you think he's handling it any better?" Saedii says and Kal wants to laugh then.

"With how he feels about you, probably not."

"What if I made her feel like I don't trust her or something? Or, or that I don't think she can handle it by herself. Because she can handle it, I mean, she could probably handle it better than anyone, she's so bloody independent and self-sufficient. She can be as independent as she wants and I love that about her, but this isn't something she should have to do alone. I just- is it so bad for me to want us to live together? I've wanted it for years and with a baby on the way, it just makes the most sense, so why can't she see that? I just think she's scared to admit that we are what we are, which is a couple who have been together forever and have a baby on the way," Tyler ranted, pacing back and forth in Scarlett's living room, as he had been doing for the last fifteen minutes (all she had asked was 'what up?'), not letting her get a word in edgewise. So she has been sitting here, sippng her tea, watching him go back and forth like he's a particularly interesting tennis match and waiting for him to run out of steam.

It takes him another ten minutes of him ranting to finally go silent and turn to her, waiting for her thoughts. She pats the spot beside her on the couch and he falls into it, sagging to rest his head on her shoulder. She reaches up and pats his hair.

"Ty, Saedii's never really loved someone like she loves you. And if you ask any mother, they'd probably tell you pregnancy is scary and an emotional rollercoaster. I think Saedii lashed out because she's never had to deal with this sort of situation before, and she definitely hasn't had to deal with something so big while also handling the feelings of another person," Scar says, slowly and considerately. Tyler sighs.

"I know. You're right. I just- I don't know. I don't want her to have to deal with this alone if she doesn't have to," he says.

"So keep telling her that. Make sure she knows it and it will all work itself out. And breathe, you know you both get each other fired up," she advises and Tyler follows her advise and takes a deep breath in and out.

"Thanks Scar, you always know just what to say," Scarlett kisses his forehead and he can feel her grin.

"How long have I been telling you that, bee-bro?" He groans and pushes her away from him as she laughs.

*peaces out*

#aurora cycle #kal gilwraeth #saedii gilwraeth #tyler jones #scarlett jones #auroras end

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lucifers-horror-harem · 3 years

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Alan Sharpe Yandere Alphabet (Slasher OC)

So I am aware I don’t even have an official character sheet or background information on this new yandere slasher of mine, however I find that some of these bits come to me in time. Plus, a bunch of small tidbits are in this alphabet post too. But I am always happy to answer asks about this boy cause it helps me get to know him a bit better too <3

The face claim is Kim Coates <3 I imagine Alan to be mid fifties in age.

Warnings for non con/dub con elements, uses of housewife/wife/kids/implied AFAB

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Alan is really emotionally and physically affectionate with his darling once he is certain they will accept it. He can be rather cold with someone who’s feisty or ungrateful and doesn't appreciate his love. He tends to go overboard spoiling his darling with material items and such, as money is no object for him. If he thinks something will make you happy he will do whatever it takes to get it for you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He will take care of whatever stands in the way between you and him. Ultimately he doesn't want to have to kill family or friends, but if they pose a threat to either of you or happen to find out his secrets they will have to go. Alan has people to take care of these things for him, but if they are a significant other or other love interest that makes him see red, he will take care of the matter himself. Violence and murder aren't new to him, when he was in his teens and early twenties he had a track record of hanging in the wrong crowds and going after anyone that stood in the way of his interests.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

If it were up to Alan, he would prefer to be sweet with you and as soon as he abducts you the two of you start the honeymoon phase of your relationship. But if you’re causing problems and trying to escape, he’ll treat you accordingly. He has no issue being cruel with you, getting into your head and insisting no one will love you like he can and how stupid you would have to be to not see the cushy life ahead of you, if only you accept his love. He doesn't really think its that hard of a choice.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He would rather not force you to do anything you don't want to. All Alan wants is for you to love him, after all. But if time goes on and you continue to fight him, he might take more drastic measures to prove just how much he wants you. If you are being more docile and submissive, he might push boundaries and grope you as a way of teasing, but he will likely be more willing to wait for you. He has needs, after all.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

In the beginning of the relationship, Alan keeps his deepest feelings close to his chest and only tells his darling of the inconsequential things in his life. He wants a housewife type of partner so he always seems to like venting to you about how rough of a day he had at the office taking care of things, and him wanting to hear the same about your day in return (not that you can even go anywhere during the day). After a long period of time and trust he will slowly start to talk about deeper things with you, really opening up about what he wants and desires in his life.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Alan hates it, but in a sick way he enjoys correcting your behavior. While he much prefers a more docile and sweet darling he will be more than happy finding a reason to take out his frustrations on the person who has been causing all these problems. If you were good, he wouldn't have to do this, you know.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Love is something serious to Alan, and gets infuriated seeing his darling wanting to escape or attempting and failing. He will punish them accordingly, and hopefully they will learn their lesson. However, if his darling likes to indulge in bratty behavior but is still quite submissive and only wants to play, then he will be quite accommodating. He can be playful when he wants to, he just needs to feel comfortable enough to let that side of him out.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The worst would be when they finally realize how dedicated Alan is to having you be his. It could be watching him kill with his bare hands in front of you for the first time, snuffing out the life of someone you know (a lover or someone who just got too close to you for Alan's comfort), and watching the glee in Alan's face as he did it, all while insisting he was doing it to protect you. Another possible contender would be finding out just how long and thoroughly he had been stalking you, waiting until just the right moment to strike. Even building trust with you, playing the kind and caring boss that everyone loves before showing his darker possessive side to you when you finally figure out what's going on. Once kidnapped, he would even use your social media to trick your family and friends into believing the two of you were together in a happy relationship under the radar (if you happened to work for him) when in reality you were trapped in one of his many homes against your will.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Ultimately, Alan is looking for a partner to play out the parts of life that everyone his age for the most part already have. The wife, kids, happy family, the whole shebang. He wants a partner that will stay at home, even if they don't want to do housework he can hire someone for that. But he goes feral over the idea of coming home from a long day at the office and seeing his wife finishing dinner for him and the kids. He had far from the typical home life as a child and longs for the stability and normalcy of it.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Alan gets insanely jealous, but he tends to reserve his anger for those who intend to steal you away from him. If all things work out for Alan, he would want you by his side at all business outings, and in those situations he wouldn't mind the casual conversation of people commenting on your beauty and how lucky of a man he is. It makes him proud and he wants you to feel special as well. But as a man he knows the way they look at you with less innocent intentions, even if they would never act upon them. That's what makes Alan's blood boil. He would never lash out at you specifically unless you actively encouraged others to flirt with you in front of him. He will make them pay in one way or another.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

In public he is the perfect gentleman, having you place a hand on his inner arm as he walks around. He is also known to keep a hand on the small of your back or hip to keep you close to him. While he does worry about you slipping away from him, he is naturally just a very touchy man and likes to have you within arms reach constantly. Will often bring your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles absent-mindedly as well.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

The most likely scenario of him finding a partner would be through his work, and while office romance is obviously not permitted because he’s the boss, it doesn’t stop him from being friendly. No one ever suspects him of anything because he is so kind and genuine with everyone. For his love, he would often give them the same treatment as everyone else with a bit of extra meaning behind his words. He would never directly ask them out, but he would be extra attentive and listening to you speak when you have conversations. People would probably call them a brown noser before even thinking that Alan had other motives in mind. He doesn’t give presents mostly because he doesn’t want to be seen as too forward, but if the opportunity arises he will pay for lunch or the coffee at the shop he just happened to bump into you at.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Absolutely. For the boss of an established business with many important clients, he is all around a genuine good boss to his employees. When he took the business over from his father after he suddenly passed, he made sure he did the opposite of what his father did when it came to treating his employees well. When people look at him they see a genuinely kindhearted man that they can’t believe isn’t married, as everyone else around his age typically is. He was married once though not many people know about it and he prefers to keep that and the majority of his past hidden away from prying minds.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

If he is in a good mood there will be a lot of torturous edging on his part. Alan has been known to favor tying up his partner and leaving them for hours until he comes back later to take care of them. He also loves spanking and impact play, knowing just how much you can handle before you cry, though if you’ve been bad he just might want to see you cry a little. If Alan is in a bad mood his punishments will be harsher, the bindings tighter, and will be fine seeing your tears pour freely as you beg for him to slow down.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

When he first kidnaps you he will take away almost everything, especially any sort of phone or internet for you to reach the outside world. He makes sure to have things for you to occupy yourself with and even your favorite hobbies and books. But if you continue to disobey, more of those things will be taken away from you. Once you start getting used to life with Alan, he will slowly give you more privileges as he trusts you with them.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Alan is much more patient with a willing partner, especially if they’re shy or inexperienced. He will bend over backward to slowly ease your way into the sexual things he wants from you, though sometimes he might cross your boundaries simply to see what happens. If you’ve been nothing but ungrateful to him, he will have a lot less patience and be more forceful with what he wants from you. He still cares about you though, and would rather not force you to be with him but if you give him no choice he just might.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

While the odds of leaving or escaping under his watch are very small, nevertheless he would be heartbroken and furious at you. How could you not understand what he was offering you? Who would pass up such a comfortable life? Most likely he will have you back with him shortly whether by himself or from his hired men, and your punishment will make you seriously consider escaping again. A part of him is terrified about police intervention, but it would take a lot for you to be able to get them or anyone on your side, and he would have the evidence disposed of quickly if that’s the road you chose. If you were to die, that would be another story. He would never be able to forgive himself, blaming himself for your death constantly whether it was his fault or not. Alan might be able to move on one day, but if his darling were to die it would only make him more cruel and cold when it came to the next person he set his sights on.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

The only time Alan might ever feel guilty would be years later after you were in love with him and had given him children, he might feel remorse for how he went about it, wondering if he could have seduced you normally. However those thoughts don’t last long, and he wouldn’t want to change the circumstances for the world.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Growing up as the son of a wealthy businessman and a high society woman, he has quite a bit of trauma. The majority was psychological abuse from his father constantly berating him for not being manly enough to take over the business, with Alan rebelling in every way he could just to make his father mad. His mother was rarely in the picture, as she did her own thing with her own people and rarely saw Alan. He was taken better care of by his nanny than either of his parents. The life he wants for himself is far removed from what he dealt with as a child.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

While he might feel bad for seeing his darling cry, he typically doesn’t feel bad seeing them upset. He knows this is an adjustment period for them, and eventually, they will calm down. If not, then he might see you as a spoiled brat who can’t think rationally.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not sure if this is different, but he stalks his darling obsessively for a long period of time before kidnapping them. He uses all sorts of cameras and bugging equipment just to see you whenever he can’t be next to you. Alan needs to know everything about you for when you come to live with him and wants to make the transition as easy as possible.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

If his darling can find out anything about Alan’s past, it would be the closest thing they have to twist the metaphorical knife into his wounds. There are a lot of skeletons in his closet, some of them being things that were scrubbed from official records while others weren’t even found out. Be careful if you decide to go digging before he trusts you enough to tell you these things, he might have to hurt you horribly just for the breach of trust.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Definitely. While he emotionally manipulates them constantly into believing what he does is love, if push comes to shove he will physically harm his darling to make sure they don’t escape again. A broken arm or leg wouldn’t be unheard of with Alan, and one should be lucky if they get away with that little.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

To Alan, you are his entire world, a chance for him to start a family and have the normal life he always wanted. He would worship the ground you walk on, making sure you knew every second of every day how much he loved and cherished you, his savior. And if you don’t believe him, he will go to the ends of the earth and do whatever you ask within reason to prove to you just how much he loves you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Alan might last at most a year simply watching his darling, especially if there is no competition from other partners. If someone else comes into the picture, Alan is quick to speed his plan along and kidnap you away before you can even grow attached to this person.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

While the sadistic part of him loves the idea of breaking his darling down, he ultimately wants them to accept him of their own free will. He might push and push until you bend under his will, but unless he is at his wit’s end he will do his best to keep you from completely breaking.

#slasher oc #yandere oc #alan sharpe #my ocs tag

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vegalocity · 3 years

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The Forest (Red Groom AU)

So i was like ‘I should rewatch the Princess Bride again before I jump back into this fic series’. So I re-read my own series as to remember where I was at, rewatched the Princess Bride, and blacked our for a few hours. And when I woke up I found this on my word processor lol

Also catch me messing with everyone ELSE’S dialogue but keeping the Prince’s 100% just Prince Humperdink’s lines so i don’t have to give him a personality (hats off to @starsfic for reminding me of the obvious ‘you don’t have to cast him at all’ thing)

The spotty light of the forest faded into the pitch of night as down, down the prince fell. By the time he hit the ground there was only the faintest patch of sunlight shining through the very sinkhole he'd fallen into.

Prince Red Son cursed his luck thrice times over as he took in the dark world around him, the caves surrounding him seemed to be more burrowed into the ground than they were naturally forming, which spelled both good and bad.

“Red Son! Can you hear me?! Are you alright?!” he heard Xiaotian's voice echo from above and the part of him that was still riding the high of his love being alive, and what's more still just as in love with him as he was, swooned at the care in his voice. If they had been safe at the time and Red Son allowed to linger on the feeling, he was sure he would feel much that of a child positively drowning in the ardor of their first love.

As it was he had to repress the feeling as much as he could. Later. When they were safe.

“I'm fine!” His legs felt like liquid beneath him but he was able to keep on his feet. “I think this is a burrow of some kind!”

“A burrow? Like an animal made that thing?! Hold on I'm coming down there-”

“I can climb back up!” The words came out before he really thought about them, driven mostly by pride; the prince had been dealing with being passed around his captors for the better side of two days now, and though he trusted Xiaotian with his life easily, the fact remained that he'd been at a distinct physical disadvantage with his magic restrained as it was.

And he was kind of tired of being helpless.

“Red,” And my, did the shortened version of his name sound intimate when spoken like that “-you could barely stand! You're injured it's okay! I'm coming down and getting you!”

“I'm not a child Xiaotian,” he just needed to figure out how to get back up without injuring himself further. Now, it wasn't a vertical drop, else he would have probably broken something on the descent down “Just allow me a moment to think of something!”

Now, it wasn't vertical but it WAS too steep a drop to easily climb by hand, he'd need something to act as ballast, like a rope of some kind-

“....You said your copy of the Monkey King's staff can grow or shrink, yes?”

“I....did?”

“Can you extend it down here so I can use it as a ballast to climb?”

“Oh! Yeah probably!”

Now he'd probably need something to ensure if he grip slipped he wouldn't fall for too long and injure himself like a fool once again. Now he hadn't had a lot on hand when the Spider Queen and her mercenaries had apprehended him—barely more than the simple travel clothes he'd been wearing—and what else he'd had had been lost in his captors' desperate fleeing from his love, so other than what he had in his pockets his only set of tools was the clothes on his back.

Ah! But he DID have the clothes on his back did he not? He shed the thin overcoat he'd been allowed after the Spider Queen had searched him for weapons and once the golden ended staff entered his sight he looped the body of it around the staff, and tied it off before tying the sleeves around his torso.

“Okay hold it steady!”

“Got it!”

Admittedly it wasn't the easiest climb, his arms still ached from his self inflicted burns, his legs still trembled from the force of the fall, but before too long had passed mottled daylight was around him again and he took Xiaotian's hand as he was pulled back over the ledge.

“Thank you.” Though he'll admit without most of his magic at his disposal he was tiring rather quickly. He held himself together infront of Xiaotian as his lack of firepower was already embarrassing to be caught by someone so important to him with, but being winded by a simple climb was a humiliation he'd like to be spared of.

“Anytime.” Xiaotian huffed a sigh “But if those are burrows down there we should really get out of this forest quick as we can-”

“And head off to your mountain?” the idea of Xiaotian, his humble noodle boy, having an entire mountain of his own to rule over (temporarily? He had no idea if Sun Wukong would want it back by the time his pilgrimage was complete or not) was such a strange concept, he wasn't sure if it had become quite real for him yet.

“Yup!” Ah, that sweet chipper tone, so sorely missed in the five long years they'd been apart and-

Wait...

“...You're going to tell your fathers as well right?”

Xiaotian paused, and he could see him pale a bit from his stance.

“...Oh man I really AM a dead man when they get ahold of me.”

He couldn't help the laugh at the idea, Xiaotian in that full Monkey King transformation sitting in the Inn all crumpled in on himself like a scolded child, with either of his parents just ripping into him.

“...Wow...” Xiaotian sounded breathless and when Red Son looked open him for a moment he was struck by the greatest sense of Déjà vu. That quiet afternoon in the inn when he'd glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and known his heart, But here was that look once more, in this darkened forest so long later.

“What?”

“Nothing I just... forgot how much I loved your laugh.” Xiaotian reached up and rubbed at his neck, a bashful grin making his cheeks turn pink, and Red Son felt his own face grow warm in response. Damn Noodle Boy still knew exactly what to say to make him a mess- “It's honestly so cute. That crazy cackle-”

-Nevermind. He scowled and now it was Xiaotian's turn to laugh.

“No I mean it! I love how wild it is!” He folded his arms and huffed, but didn't stop Xiaotian as he untangled them to link one of Red Son's arms in his own. “You throw your entire self into absolutely everything! It's admirable! And you already know how much I love your passion-” Dammit.

“We should try to find somewhere relatively safe before nightfall hits. Who knows what other dangers there are here.” He sniffed, as primly as he possibly could.

“Whatever they are we can handle it!” Xiaotian chirped in response, almost too optimistic, especially granted he'd JUST been saying that they should leave as fast as possible.

“I mean whatever made those burrows probably left awhile ago if so much plant matter had built up over them as to cover the air vents like that.” That was true-

“Well, what about the R.O.U.S? Isn't this their migratory region?”

“The Rodents of Unusual Size?” Xiaotian shook his head “I've passed through this forest before, never ran into them, I don't think they're anything but rumor.”

And then they pounced on them.

The Rodents of Unusual Size were pack animals so when they descended on the two of them they did so at least a dozen in number. Their most bold had tackled Xiaotian to the ground and and its size—roughly that of a small wheelbarrow—had sent him grappling with the creature, trying to get it off him and draw his staff at once.

Before the rest of the pack made its move Red Son gave the one on his love a swift kick, sending it yelping and scurrying off to regain its strength. Then the others began to descend on them. Xiaotian had drawn his staff in the respite and gotten back to his feet, but the most Red Son could improvise as a weapon was a nearby branch that had fallen from a tree.

He felt pathetic in comparison to Xiaotian at his back.

He hadn't even gotten out of the damn sinkhole without help. Sure it had been his plan but-

Xiaotian moved not flawlessly, he hadn't been combat trained when he'd left, and he'd only been trained by Sun Wukong for a short while before they'd parted ways, he'd gained his skills on the way instead of having them trained into him, and Red Son had fallen out of weaponry while he'd still been a boy.

One of the rodents lunged for him and he barely swiped the branch quick enough to bat it away. He sensed one nearing his blindspot and turned just a bit to keep it in his sight-

-and felt Xiaotian push him out of the way as another rodent lunged upon his turned back.

The grunt of pain-

The smell of human blood-

Xiaotian was knelt on the ground at his side, struggling with a rodent that had its teeth buried into his shoulder.

It was instinct, not emotion, not intent. The bone deep—soul deep—need to protect all he held dear, the memory of despair, the memory of joy. The words 'True love' spoken so matter of fact and plain. A simple statement of what was real instead of a challenge or declaration.

Seeing and smelling his blood and the very real danger and he'd been protecting him this was his fault he couldn't die like this he couldn't live to make his way back and return to Red Son just to die like this and have it be HIS FAULT-

Fire.

The golden bands on his wrists glowed, then shuddered-

-and then they broke.

And there was fire.

The rodent on Xiaotian was burned and burned and kept burning, the flames encompassing the creature, but never once touching his beloved, and not once daring to burn their master after they'd been forced to disobey him for the length of two days.

The rodent dropped twitching and smoldering and when he looked up, eyes burning and glowing from the power he'd been forced to restrain for far too long, the remaining rodents had scurried off to their holes. Fearful and skittish of the power that had been released.

“Woah...” Xiaotian's voice cut through the roar of the flames still crackling up his arms and it felt so right it hurt that he'd gone any time at all without it as it should be.

Though he still felt a weak ache in his limbs, his fire allowed to spring forth at his command once again was doing quite a lot to quell the pain, and he offered his hand to his love.

“We should leave before they come back.”

Xiaotian took his hand and stared as though he'd never seen him before.

“Is something wrong?”

“I just... I never saw you fight before I guess.” Xiaotian gripped his sluggishly bleeding shoulder. Red Son removed his thin coat again to try and treat the wound, though it was a bit challenging as they continued their trek.

Soon enough the forest was beginning to thin, and the dim light of dusk made strange shadows pass across the world. They were nearing Flower Fruit Mountain if Xiaotian's estimate was anything to go by, and hopefully that would mean they were soon to be safe-

But then came the sound of horses.

“Pull your sleeves down.” Xiaotian whispered urgently. “If thats your fiance make him think you still don't have your fire.”

Red Son cursed the fact that he hadn't thought of that first. Nonetheless he did as directed, and let Xiaotian pull him protectively behind him.

And there were horses, and warriors, and a macaque with fur black as pitch, and leading the caravan was his fiance.

“Surrender.” The prince demanded the second they got near.

“Oh, you wish to surrender to me?” Dammit Xiaotian. “Very well, I accept.”

His fiance looked vaguely amused, but only vaguely. “I give you full marks for bravery, but don't make yourself a fool.”

He'd never known the man before now, this being Red Son's first time gazing upon the prince his parents had decided to be his betrothed, and the prince's eyes on him as well.

Red Son wasn't the best at parsing out emotions, but he knew the prince had hired the Spider Queen to kill him, so he knew the thing that looked like desire in the prince's eye was nothing but bloodlust. He wanted not him, but his parents' army, and he was willing to slaughter anyone who stood between him and that goal.

“Ah, but we know the secrets of the forest! We could live there comfortably for days without you and yours finding us!” Red Son could see the blood starting to seep back out of Xiaotian's shoulder as he drew his staff again. “So if you wish for a death at the hands of the R.O.U.S packs, please be my guest and feel free to visit!”

“I tell you once again, surrender!” his betrothed stressed, and Red Son saw movement from the corner of his eye. Xiaotian couldn't turn his head from the prince, but he could see the prince had brought archers with him. Many archers. Archers whom had peeled away from the caravan before their approach.

Xiaotian was not immortal. Or maybe the Monkey King had taught him to be in the first way he had learned to be immortal for his aging to cease, but if he was he wasn't invulnerable.

“That won't be happening.” He could make a ring of fire around the both of them and spread it out to destroy any arrows that came into their path and then expand it forward to knock back their foes, But then they'd have only a small opening, and their only option would be to retreat back into the forest and hope to loose his fiance, maybe in the burrows of that large unknown creature? But that risked Xiaotian being wrong about it being some time since said creature had been there and risk the wrath of a huge underground creature likely out for blood at two tiny by comparison beings invading its home.

“For the final time, surrender!” the prince barked and with a flourish drew his sword from its sheath. The black furred macaque at his side drew a staff from his person, spiked at either end, and shot them both a wicked grin, but it was Red Son's eye he held.

The macaque took one hand away from his weapon to reach beneath his shirt, and what he pulled out made Red Son's only plan null. A fire resistance spell scribbled on a small block of wood, and another pair of those damned golden cuffs. He'd be restrained again in an instant if he couldn't even injure anyone and he'd be just as helpless as before, but this time at a heavy disadvantage with his love injured, it would only be hours before they caught up with them, if even that.

“Death first!” Xiaotian cried, holding up the staff and ready to charge-

“You have to swear you won't hurt him!” The words ripped from his lungs before he had a chance to truly consider them.

“What did you say?” The prince broke his gaze with his love and raised a brow at him.

“Red Son...?” Xiaotian's voice was so quiet, so confused...But that didn't matter. If it saved his life then he refused to regret it.

“....I'll go with you. We'll surrender and I'll let you take me back to your mountain, but you must swear you won't hurt this man.”

He'd been useless ever since he'd been kidnapped by those damned mercenaries, he'd relied on Xiaotian to survive the forest—whom had needed to get hurt before he could even gain a fighting chance at being his equal again—and now he couldn't get them out of his fiance's clutches together.

If he went back with the prince he'd be killed and his death blamed on whoever the Prince wished to destroy with his parent's army but-

-but he knew his limits.

“I swear it on all I hold dear.” His fiance responded.

“He has his own mountain to return to, you must let him return in peace.”

“It will be done.” his betrothed agreed, he turned to the macaque and murmured something to him, but all he could hope for is that this prince wasn't an oathbreaker-

-not like he'd turned out to be.

Xiaotian was staring at him, his wide dark eyes hurt and uncomprehending and it was so unfair that this was how it had to end. That he'd only had him back for such a short time before he had to choose to give him up.

But...

“When I thought you dead it nearly destroyed me.” he forced his voice to remain firm, no matter how much his heart hurt at what must be done. “I cannot survive that a second time.” and he knew he couldn't.

But he was a selfish demon after all, because despite his actions, and his willingness to give himself over to his betrothed, Red Son still desired one last fleeting moment with his love.

The kiss was soft, Xiaotian's calloused hands gripped loosely in his own and he prayed he would remember the feeling and never forget his warmth. Whether he was killed by his betrothed, fought back long enough to be kept alive and announced dead and forever kept in a basement somewhere, or yet worse live a long healthy life beside a demon king he didn't love, and never able to see Xiaotian again.

“If this is all I can do for you, then please, let me save you.” his voice was barely over a whisper, any louder and his voice would crack and wobble with emotion.

“...As you wish.”

And then there was a hand on his shoulder that was not Xiaotian's. It was cold and slick, like the scales of a reptile.

And so, leaving the keeper of his heart behind, Red Son pulled away from Xiaotian, and got on the horse offered to him.

And if there was a thin yet steady plume of steam trailing behind his steed, well... nobody bothered to say anything.

–

And Xiaotian was left standing alone as the keeper of his heart turned himself in to what was no doubt his own execution.

His sluggishly bleeding shoulder gave a thin throb of pain as a few of the prince's caravan followed Red Son and that wretched prince, but staying behind were a majority of the archers and the black furred macaque.

“Well, guess we should be getting you back to your mountain then.” The Macaque drawled, leaned back casually on his own horse and hiding his staff only now. His strangely shaped ears twitched as Xiaotian took a step forward. Wait- Not strangely shaped, there were three of them. Three on either side.

“We're men of action. Lies don't suit us.” He'd responded simply, and the Six eared macaque grinned that wolfish grin at him again. And sure enough he felt a few groping hands as a couple brave archers grabbed him and bound his hands behind his back.

“Love that staff by the way. Looks quite a lot like one an old friend of mine used to wield. But like, a crappily made cheap replica of it.” The Macaque hummed and took the staff from the ground after he'd been forced to drop it. “Way lighter too. Don't even need to have stolen anybody's powers for it!” After a beat the Macaque met his gaze, and he must have been making a bit of a face because he suddenly looked off his game. “What?”

“Six-Eared Macaque was it? I know someone who's been looking for you.” The swordsman flashed in his mind, the scar on her shoulder, the fierce determination in her eyes, that masterful, artistic swordplay. She'd had every moment of her confrontation with this macaque planned out for a decade, right down to what she would say to him.

He hoped she found out where he was and got her revenge from it. She deserved to, she seemed like the kind of person Xiaotian would have gotten along with swimmingly if they'd known eachother under better terms.

The Macaque growled and swiped out with his staff, knocking him on the side of his head.

And as his vision swam, as the world grew dark, he heard the macaque growl:

“Take him to the pit of despair, Looks like we've got a new test subject.”

He missed Red Son.

#Red Groom AU #Spicynoodleshipping #vega writes stories too #Princess Bride AU #catch me keeping outfit descriptions as vague as possible for flexibility's sake #MK Red Son #Qi Xiaotian #Six Eared Macaque

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arhvste · 4 years

Note

can i request some soft™️ comfort hq’s for tsukishima, oikawa and sugawara? take your time bb and make sure you’re taking care of yourself 😼✨ don’t rush to get this done i don’t mind waiting!!!

I LOVE U SO MUCH BBY TY FOR BEING PATIENT <3 ✨🐉

TSUKISHIMA, OIKAWA AND SUAGWARA COMFORTING THEIR S/O

TSUKISHIMA

tsuki isn't really the affectionate type

he roasts couples that pack on the pda when he sees them

but when it comes to you its a different story

he has a soft spot for ONLY you

no other exception 😤

he’ll comfort you in public

but he prefers just taking you away from a crowded area and dealing with you in private

he feels more comfortable when it’s just you and him

and he knows you prefer things like that too

when you’re feeling down tsuki may act unbothered

but he is

he just shows it in subtle ways

like when he initiates the cuddles

he’s holding you a little tighter than usual

he’s softly raking his long fingers through your hair

he’s a lot softer when he talks

the cut backs on the snarky comments are very evident

he won’t overdo the affection

that’s not really his thing

he’ll opt to just keep you relaxed for as long as possible cuddled up with him

then he’ll eventually ask you what’s bothering you when he feels you’re collected enough

he won’t rush you

tsuki is a good listener

i said what i said ladies and gents

he’ll just listen to you rant about what’s bothering you while he’s playing with your hair and humming at every few points you make

then he’ll either come up with a solution

or if it’s a specific person or group of people who have bothered you he’ll start verbally abusing them

you’ll often laugh at his comments but this boy isn’t even joking lmao

my boy says his insults with purpose

as long as you’re smiling in the end that’s all that matters

his arms will be wrapped around you the whole time

he wants you to think of him as some form of safe haven for you

he’s not the most affectionate and openly loving

so he wants to make sure you know that despite his less expressive frontal act

he does care and love for you alot

and he has your back 100%

you’re one of the only people he genuinely cares about

so he’ll do what he has to in order to comfort you when you need it

OIKAWA

opposite of tsukishima

very much affectionate and doesn't care about pda

so if you need comforting

he’s on it

he already showers you with affection

he’ll just do it even more

whipped

will ask you if there's anything you need/want for him to get you

he’ll absolutely go out of his way if there's anything like food or comfort items you’ve requested

oikawa is big on affirmations

he loves telling you how much he loves you all the time

so while he’s comforting you just know you’re gonna be cuddled up in his lap where he can wrap his arms around you and whisper small affirmations of his love and adoration for you

“you’re perfect” “you’re wonderful” “i’m so in love with you” “you’re talented” “i’m so lucky i have you” “you’re the best thing that’s happened to me”

he presses little kisses all over your face as he says them

he’s so sappy ew

he’s definitely encourage you to vent out your problems

keeping them in and letting them build up isn't healthy he wants you to feel like you can let go and rely on him

when you’re explaining your problems he’s more than happy for you to take it slow

he’ll nod in encouragement as he’s drawing small circles on the sides of your hips to relax you

he just wants you to be comfortable around him

he feels a great sense of pride in the fact that you trust him enough to talk about your problems

when you’ve fully explained what’s been bothering you, you’re immediately pulled in for a tight hug

no matter big or small, oikawa will thank you for telling him

“thank you for telling me love, we’ll figure it out okay? i got you, you know that don’t you?”

he won’t leave you until everything’s been sorted or he knows for a fact you’re feeling better

he’ll absolutely spend the night with you

there’s nothing he loves more than the feeling of you pressed up close to him as you both fall asleep

because while he likes making sure you feel safe when you’re close to him

he feels safe when he’s close to you

SUGAWARA

100% one of the best boyfies to have when you need comforting

he is chaotic

but for you he’s always soft

he cares so much about you and he will absolutely show it

you don’t even need to tell this boy you need a bit of comfort

he’s already noticed and he’s already doing something about it

he treats you like royalty anyway but when he’s comforting you it’s a straight up upgrade lmao

would walk to all ends of the earth for you

he won't force you to tell him what’s wrong

he’s like it if you did

but he won't force it out of you

instead he’ll just let you be close to him while you focus on gathering your thoughts and clearing your head

i know this man smells of good laundry detergent 😤

like fresh flowers or sea breeze or something like that

his scent is just as comforting as his presence

he’s prepared to do anything you might ask of him

you’re literally his main priority

again, whipped

if you guys are at home he’s gonna cook for you and make sure you’re in comfortable clothing

he’s gonna make sure you feel loved and appreciated

and if you eventually feel like opening up about your problems to him

he’ll sit there and listen with intent

his attention is all yours

if it’s a problem he can fix

he will do so immediately

if not, he has several solutions in mind he’s ready to put into play

he’s very reassuring

he doesn't like seeing you in any sort of distress

“hey, it’s gonna be fine” “i’m always here for you no matter what” “i’ll make it better for you”

hfdssfbhjs he just wants to make his s/o happy again

also won’t leave your side until he’s been giving genuine confirmation that you’re all good again

any problems you have he makes his own problems too

sugawara believes that you’re a team

and what sort of teammate makes the other one deal with everything themselves?

3265/10 boyfie, would recommend consulting in when comfort is needed

136 notes · View notes

leihey · 3 years

Text

Letter prompt list

»Oh, hello! Are you here for the prompts? Well if so, I'm pleased to tell you that they are open right now! But you should take into consideration that I'm working on 3 as of right now.

Okay now, it's pretty easy to request something!

First of all, would you mind telling me a bit about yourself?«

1. Preferred pronouns.

I think that's pretty obvious, right? The pronouns you want me to use in the letter! If you prefer not to tell them, I will use they/them.

2. Gender.

Also pretty self-explanatory. I just need to know which gender I am writing for! If you prefer not to tell me, it will be gender-neutral.

3. Preferred nicknames/petnames.

If you have any nicknames or petnames you want or that you don't want, list them here. If you don't have any or don't wanna tell but I end up needing names, I will use "baby, darling, love and precious".

4. Other things you want me to include.

If there's any detail about you you want me to include, list them and I will include them. This isn't required, but if there's anything you would like to see in the letter, tell me!

»Alright, noted! You seem like an interesting person to write for and I'm really excited already! But that was just the first step. Next you'll need to choose a group and a member! These are the groups you can choose from as of right now.«

🤡 Stray Kids

🐺 Bang Chan

🐰 Lee Know

🐷 Changbin

🐭 Hyunjin

🐿️ HAN

🐤 Felix

🐶 Seungmin

🦊 I.N

🤖 BTS

🐨 RM

🐹 Jin

🐱 SUGA

🌞 J-Hope

🐣 Jimin

🐯 V

🐇 Jungkook

🍬 ATEEZ

🪐 Hongjoong

🌺 Seonghwa

🖊️ Yunho

😈 Yeosang

🌄 San

💙 Mingi

🐽 Wooyoung

🌳 Jongho

💕 Blackpink

✨ Jisoo

💄 Jennie

🥀 Rose

🔥 Lisa

💭 Dreamcatcher

👟 JiU

👥 SuA

🔒 Siyeon

👁️ Handong

🕸️Yoohyeon

🩸 Dami

🕳️ Gahyeon

More will be added soon...

»Excellent choice! We're almost done and I'll be able to get to work soon!

But before, we'll have to continue to the next step!

I need you to choose a genre and a number in said genre!«

🌸 Fluff

This is for rather soft friendship letters or a fresh relationship.

Note; Some of these make more sense in a long distance relationship/friendship. I will mark them with '💌', but if you want them specifically not to be long distance, please tell me!

Their first love letter to you.

Them confessing to you.

Them inviting to you to a secret midnight date/meeting.

Them writing you from when they're on vacation.

Your internetfriend sending you their first letter.v💌

Them being too shy to talk, so they write a letter.

Passing notes in class.

Catching up to you after a while of barely talking. (cr. @hyunsluvv ty <3) 💌

Staying in contact over letters after you moved. (cr. @hyunsluvv ty again <3)

Sending you a get well basket with letter. (and again thank you so much and cr. @hyunsluvv )

Them sharing old memories with you.

Them sharing secrets with you.

Them talking about dreams they had with you. 💌

They coming up with date or meeting ideas.

✎Your own idea...

🌹 Romance

This is similar to fluff but not so focused on being cuddly and soft and rather about a long-term relationship.

Note; Some of these make more sense in a long distance relationship/friendship. I will mark them with '💌', but if you want them specifically not to be long distance, please tell me!

Planing to meet. 💌

Love letter but not their first one.

Valentine's Day letter.

Them talking about how much they miss you. 💌

Birthday love note.

Their invite to a fancy and well planned out date

Them proposing.

Them writing you open letters.

Talking about your first meeting/kiss/date.

Them apologizing after a harsh argument. 💌

Them cheering you up when you're having a rough time. 💌

Them wanting to introduce you to their parents. 💌

Them wanting to get/adopt a child or pet with you. (Please specify!)

Them wanting to move in with you. 💌 (cr. @hyunsluvv thank you once again!)

✎Your own idea...

⚡ Angst (TW; death, breakup, obsessive behaviour, hate, cheating, illness, ghosting)

Those are rather sad and heartbreaking thoughts. Some of them aren't as bad as others, so I tried listing those that are worse in my opinion later.

Note; if you choose 15 you can request whatever you want. I chose not to list some special things to not give of the feeling that I don't take such things serious. However, I don't think we should be silent about such things and I know how writing or reading about it can help people deal with it.

2nd Note; Some of these make more sense in a long distance relationship/friendship. I will mark them with '💌', but if you want them specifically not to be long distance, please tell me!

Them venting to you. 💌

Them sharing their biggest fear.

Them explaining the reason they ghosted you. 💌 (You can either specify a reason yourself or leave it up to me!)

Finding your address again you broke up contact. 💌

Them sending a hateful letter during an argument. 💌

Them breaking up. 💌

Them confessing they cheated.

Them telling you they accidentally killed/lost your pet. (Please specify!)

Them telling you they can't get children. 💌

Them hating themselves and decide to leave you for your own best.

Them trying to force you into a relationship.

Them giving up on you. 💌

Them telling you about their dangerous/deadly illness.

Them writing a letter to their passed friend/partner. (Please specify!)

✎Your own idea...

Might add some more...

»Well, thank you for taking these steps together with me! I'm ready to start writing now, just one last step.

I need you to send all of this to me in an ask or DM or anything! I just need to know your choices.

Thank you for your time and thank you for trusting me, I hope you'll be satisfied with the result once I'm done!

You can either write your choices out or use the emoji/number next to your choice.

As of right now there is no limits and no rules, but I might add something if needed.

If you have anymore questions, feel free to send an ask or DM!«

I don't know how many times I already tagged you but anyways, big thank you to @hyunsluvv for supporting me, helping me come up with ideas and motivating me to do this in first place. I'm so glad to have you, thank you so so much.

But now I hope you'll enjoy your letter if you plan on requesting something!

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brandyovereager · 3 years

Text

The Best Possible Arrangement

So excited to publish my first Kataang fic! I’ve been bouncing around ideas to write these two for a while now, and I finally finished something :)

Massive thanks to the beautiful @uh-ohspaghettio for all the encouragement and brainstorming sessions. This would not exist without her.

Read it on AO3

Summary: In an alternate universe where Katara and Aang never kissed or expressed their feelings for one another, Katara finds herself in an unpleasant situation. In order to be recognized as her father’s successor, the Tribe’s council decides she must be married. When faced with a group of undesirable suitors, Aang proposes an alternate solution that toys with emotions the two thought they’d suppressed years ago.

Katara was appalled.

It only took her a few seconds to go from appalled to near-seething.

After the war, the Northern and Southern Water Tribes developed a stronger relationship and many people in the Northern Tribe migrated down to live in the Southern. There was a more significant exchange of culture and ideas, contributing in part to the predicament Katara now found herself in.

Her father, Hakoda, had been chief of their tribe ever since she could remember. It had never affected her much, as in the South there wasn't much pomp and circumstance associated with the title. All it had ever meant was that when the men went off to fight in the war, her father was their leader.

The title of Chief in the Northern Tribe came with much more regalia, and with the post-war intermixing, the life of Katara's family had changed significantly.

They now lived in a palace, one bent out of ice by the best benders in the South Pole. Her presence was now requested at dinners and other receptions with foreign dignitaries. She was expected to dress often in finery unlike anything she was used to, draped across her by maidens specifically assigned as her attendants.

It was uncomfortable to say the least.

Katara was used to wearing clothing designed for function. It mattered more to her that she could bend in her outfits than that she looked elegant. She was used to informal activities and practicing her bending whenever and wherever she pleased. While she still did this to some extent, she now had to deal with pompous old men who found this unbefitting of a 'princess'.

She had no problem telling the sexist degenerates where to shove it, but this often got her (and her father) into trouble.

On top of all these unpleasantries that came with being the Chief's daughter, apparently there was something far more distasteful expected of her.

Sokka was the eldest of the two siblings, and the expected choice for Hakoda's heir. However, a month ago Sokka had pulled Katara aside and explained to her his wish to remain the Tribe's emissary, leaving her as their father's successor. Katara was more than happy to take Sokka's place--with their father’s full support--but the elderly misogynists on the council were not so pleased.

Since the siblings informed them of their intentions, the councilmen had been scrambling to find any reason to prevent Katara becoming Chief, and up until an hour ago it seemed they had come up with nothing. She should have known this would take more of a fight.

The roadblock they decided to place in her way: marriage. The council came to the agreement that she could not assume the mantle of heir while still unwed. They had called her into their chambers to tell her she was unfit to lead without a husband.

It was infuriating. She was sick to her stomach with how much she hated the very idea. It was degrading, sexist, and the perfect trap for them to undermine her. Her father agreed, and had spoken some choice words of his own to the councilmen, but they were unshakable.

She had two options in front of her: One, relinquish the title of heir to Sokka, who--being already married--was considered fit to lead by the council's new rule. Two, marry and have the council go behind her back and consult her husband on Chief's matters instead.

Becoming Chief didn't matter too much to Katara--she was only assuming the responsibility because Sokka didn't want it--but the councilmen's blatant prejudice against her made her determined to win. She would be Chief, and they would respect her as such, even if it meant she had to freeze each of them to their council seats.

---

By the time Katara got back to her room she was so worked up that she was likely to either scream or sob if someone even touched her. She was surprised to find someone waiting for her.

It was exactly who she wanted to see.

She didn’t know he was back yet, but she was overjoyed to see him right there in her bedroom.

Aang was her best friend. Growing up in the South Pole, the only one around her age was Sokka. The siblings were close, but she hadn’t had a real friend until they found Aang. Since then she had grown to love Toph, Suki, Zuko (begrudgingly), even Mai and Ty Lee, but Aang would always be her best friend. Katara doubted any other relationship she had would ever reach the level of connection she had with him. Their personalities were different in many ways, but they shared the same morals and unwavering hope that made them a perfect team. Even their differences complemented each other.

In the back of her mind Katara had always wondered what a relationship with him...of another kind...would be like. Would they connect so perfectly on that level as well? There had been times she thought he harbored feelings of that nature for her, but each moment Katara thought he was about to mention it, he didn’t. She’d since given up on such fantasies.

That didn’t stop her from wondering.

Despite spending the majority of her time in the South Pole, Katara never had to go too long without seeing Aang. He travelled often--required at various meetings and kerfuffles that occurred as the nations re-established peace--but he had a good percentage of time to himself. He chose to spend that time with her. His last venture had taken him to Ba Sing Se, where he was supposed to spend three weeks with stuffy diplomats, but he’d somehow managed to make it back in two. It was perfect timing.

He’d know how to handle this situation. There was no one she trusted more to do so. Whether he would help her find a solution, or simply comfort and ease her mind, she’d leave his presence better than when he found her. That’s just how it was with him.

Aang turned from where he was sitting on her bed to greet her with a smile, quickly fading into concern when he registered the look on Katara's face.

He immediately rose from the bed and engulfed her in a tight embrace. She buried her face into his chest, letting the tears start to fall as she took comfort in her best friend's hold.

It took some time, but she eventually calmed enough to explain the news she'd received in the council-room. She pulled back from Aang’s arms and sat on her bed--motioning for him to sit beside her. Soon enough, she was venting all of her emotions out to the airbender.

"They've managed to come up with a rule that ensures I will never truly lead the Tribe. No matter what I choose, they will never consider me their Chief. They will either cast me aside in favor of Sokka, or doom me to an unhappy marriage where I'll always be second to my husband in their eyes. Either way, they'll never respect me."

Somewhere in the middle of her talking, her tone turned from enraged to exhausted. It felt hopeless, like they'd managed to get her trapped.

Aang appeared thoughtful for a second, before grabbing her hand and looking steadily into her eyes.

"Becoming Chief, that is what you want, right?"

His voice was calm and firm, confirming her desires before he went on. She nodded her head.

"That's what Sokka and I decided. He and Suki wanted to continue their travels as emissaries and I want to stay here and help repair our tribe."

"Ok, then we're going to find a way for you to do that."

"One of the things I love about you is how hard you fight for what you want, no matter who tries to get in your way. When Pakku refused to teach you waterbending, you challenged him to a bending match in front of the whole tribe. When Sokka told you to stop healing the people in that Fire Nation village, you turned around and did it anyway. If you've decided to do something, there is no stopping you, and we're going to do the same with this."

"How, Aang? I have no good options here. As much as I might want to, I can't just waterbend all those arrogant men into recognizing me as my father's heir." That comment drew a chuckle from Aang.

"They did give you a way to become Chief, as unwelcome an option as it may be. It'll just take some searching to find a husband who won't try to undermine you."

"I don't exactly get much choice with that--another stupid tradition from the North--the noble young men of the tribe have to be given the opportunity to marry into the royal family. There would be a competition of sorts between them to see who 'earned' me as their wife." The disgust on her face was clear as she spoke the words.

It was terrible news though. Noblemen competing for her hand was just as demeaning as the council refusing to make a woman Chief. She would be treated like a prize. It was sickening.

It also meant that most of the young men there were sexist jerks themselves who only saw her as a path to higher status. Many of them would be happy to undermine her.

"That's awful, Katara." She gave a sad nod in acknowledgement.

"There is the possibility that one of the young men would make an acceptable husband." That elicited a small scoff from Katara, and a responding snicker from Aang.

"You can agree to meet them first, you know, before you decide? Just see what your options are before you give up on it. Then if you decide it's not worth it, you can leave being Chief to Sokka."

Aang began to softly rub his thumb back and forth on her hand. It was a familiar and comforting gesture.

"I know your choice seems terrible either way, but I'll be here to help make sure you end up with the option that makes you happy. You're not going to be doomed to a life you can't stand. We're going to find a way for you to be happy, no matter what, you got that?"

Katara felt his arms softly wrap around her and squeeze tight. From her cocoon within her best friend's chest she let out a soft "ok".

#kataang #katara x aang #katara #aang #kataang fanfic #kataang fanfiction #kataang fic #atla #avatar: the last airbender #Avatar The Last Airbender #atla fic #atla fanfic #atla fanfiction

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kyutown · 3 years

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heyy, can I request a ship with enhypen, txt, nct dream and the boyz? dw take your time please :)

I’m 17 (04 liner), 176cm tall (I think that’s 5’9’’) and I’m an enfp. my “big six” are aries sun, taurus moon, gemini rising, aries mercury, taurus venus and gemini mars. I act different depending on who I’m with, so if I’m with people I don’t know at all I can be quite shy at first (but then again I talk to people I don’t know and try to make new friends lol I’m confusing), when I’m with my friends I’m usually on the louder side and I can be quite chaotic and weird ig haha, but I do need my alone time to charge my social battery (basically I’m more of an ambivert haha). I’m more of an optimist and I think I’m really open, empathetic, supportive and friendly. if you ask me for my opinion I will tell you the truth or what I think, but I will do it in a soft way, so yk I’m honest, but I don’t want to hurt people. oh and I have high morals. I’m always there for my friends and try to help them however I can. when it comes to my feelings though I don’t open up, because I had a bad experience once and I don’t want to experience that again so if it gets hard I rather push people away (I also find it hard to ask for help like in general). while we’re at it, I’m afraid I’ll disappoint anybody + that I’m not good enough + that everyone will leave me eventually (which doesn’t make sense because of my trust issues lol) probably because my parents almost got divorced when I was little and my grandmother unexpectedly died so I do need reassurance, but I rarely get it haha (when it comes to attention I do want it sometimes, but when I get it I feel uncomfortable). love language: I think it’s physical affection, but I do like buying little meaningful gifts for my s/o. now to my interests and hobbies: I’ve tried quite a few sports yet (tennis, horseback riding, track and field, swimming, dancing(multiple styles),...) and my parents have told me that I am built good for some sports, but idk I’m just ok at everything and ig that kind of bugs me. I love dancing and singing, but it just doesn’t look good and idk I can’t sing that high so yeah idk. in school it’s kind of the same, I’m ok/good in most subjects, but there’s nothing I have a talent for, meanwhile there’s my two bsfs who are perfect at everything. I am interested in politics and business so that’s why I’m thinking of studying international relations or business administration, but I’ve always dreamt of being an actor (my accent won’t let that happen though). I love music, mostly because it helps me express my feelings, and I also really like fashion. I also enjoy reading and love watching tv shows or movies. about my physical appearance: I have brown hair at shoulder-length (a bit wavy), hazel eyes and I do have glasses, but I’m thinking of changing to contacts. god this was so long and I kind of vented (sorry for that) anyway ty in advance!!

hi! thank you for responding!

for enhypen, i think jungwon would be a nice match! jungwon would be the one who would always make you feel good about yourself as he would compliment your singing skills, dancing, sports skill and would always love to do things like your hobbies! he would watch movies and tv shows with you and i think he would love to shop with you as he knows you like fashion! he would be very caring, dependable, understanding, respectful, and considerate towards you!

for txt, i think soobin would fit you well! soobin enjoys hugs and would love giving hugs and receiving them. he would be the type who would never make you feel like you are not enough and would always compliment you and i feel like you can depend on hinm/ and when you are ready, you can always trust him and i feel like he would really make you feel loved.

for nct dream, i think you would be nice with jisung! jisung would be the type who would play sports with you! he would run with you and i think since he is a active person, he would enjoy dancing and playing sports with you! he would also be the type who doesn't mind you wanted your alone time and would respect that.

for the boyz, i think hyunjae would pair well with you! hyunjae would be the type who would enjoy sports with you! he enjoys to play sports but prefers sports like tennis, ping pong, and etc. he would be the type who would give you lots of physical skinship and when you feel uncomfortable with something, he would never cross any line and would always keep you comfortable.

#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop ships #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen ships #txt imagines #txt ships #txt #nct #nct imagines #the boyz imagines #the boyz #the boyz ships #nct ships #nct dream imagines #nct dream

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

Text

A Yandere!Takuto Maruki/Reader commission for the very lovely, very patient @furudolove for Persona 5 Royal. I’ve never played a Persona game and I don’t plan to, but I can hope I got the majority of Maruki’s character, in this. He’d so idyllic, and so delusional... He’d make a wonderful Yandere, if I knew a little more about the series.

Word Count: 3.0k

TW: Imprisonment, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, and Isolation.

You could feel every detail of the cot underneath you.

It would’ve been impossible not to. Prominent, pointed springs poked through the thin mattress and prodded at your back, biting into your arms, your legs, any patch of open skin they could find and force themselves into without objection. You took it in, for a moment, your body too sore and your mind too drained to do anything but lay back and let the chilled air wash over you, too cold to be natural, too sterile. When you opened your eyes, you did so reluctantly, but there was nothing to ease your anxiety. Above you was a plain, tiled ceiling, glowing with an artificial light you couldn’t quite name the source of, not unlike the lamp you might place above the cage of a reptile, and the rest of the room seemed to fall into place as your eyes found it, a desk and a pair of chairs coming into existence as you struggled to comprehend the world you’d fallen into. They were white and unmarked, your bed bolted to a floor speckled with grey dots. Like the presidential suite of a freshly renovated asylum.

You weren’t certain where you were, but you were sure you’d never been here before.

And you knew you didn’t want to be any longer than you had to.

Slowly, you pushed yourself up, your back aching under the strain, protesting any slight shift, as if you’d fallen too far and landed too suddenly. A similar pain was quick to make itself known in the back of your head, and thoughtlessly, you brought up a hand to try and soothe the knots of pressure tying themselves in the back of your skull. You hissed as your fingertips made contact with the worst spot, the area tender, bruised, but you didn’t have much time to investigate.

As soon as you’d begun to examine the area in earnest, there was a hand around your wrist, pulling your arm away gently and hesitating to release it when you failed to resist. Your attention turned to the man now standing above you, and suddenly, you were startlingly aware of just how muddled your mind had become, how difficult it was to formulate any thought beyond general observations about your current predicament. His features, although vaguely familiar, were blurry, unfocused, and you couldn’t bring yourself to try to put a name to his face. You didn’t have to, though, not when his voice was more than enough to identify him.

“You shouldn’t push yourself,” Your counselor, Takuto Maruki, explained. “I’d hate to see you hurt yourself this early on.”

You opened your mouth, but he was quick to hush you, letting your hand fall into your lap and repositioning himself, smiling as he lowered himself to your height. It was all you could do to stare in his direction, a million questions playing on your tongue, the least indescribable of which had to do with his attire, suddenly too formal, and the grin he was barely trying to conceal, wide and welcoming, only broadening at the slightest hints of your acknowledgment. “I know this seems strange,” He began, his speech rehearsed, as if he’d been preparing it while you were unconscious. “But there’s no reason to be afraid, anymore. You’re in a better place, now, a better reality, one where you can be what you’ve been trying so hard to be, with my help.”

“I don’t understand,” You whispered, drawing your knees to your chest, your voice smaller than you’d like it to be. The creak of the ancient bedframe threatened to drown it out. “I can’t… You want me to change?”

“I want you to be what you’ve always wanted to be.” This time, when he took your hand, he held it close to his chest, a wide, self-satisfied smile spreading across Maruki’s lips. As if he couldn’t be more proud, and expected you to be just as exultant. “You’re in so much pain as you are, (Y/n). I want to take that away. I’ll satisfy your desires, make you the person you want to be. Assertive, brave, confident.” He paused, squeezing your hand a little too tightly for the gesture to go unnoticed. “We’ll rule this place together. You’ll have everything you’ve ever wanted, and I’ll have you by my side. We’ll be happy.”

You blinked, once, twice, your gaze flickering from your knees, to the ground, to Maruki’s face, still alight with anticipation as he waited for your answer. You could only think to say the obvious.

“I’m sorry, but… I’d rather not.”

Maruki visited twice a day.

Or, it felt like twice a day, at least. It was difficult to tell, when the sky outside your windows was always dark and the lights were always on, remaining bright and untouched regardless of how many times you threw your few, meager possessions towards the unfaltering ceiling. You were given books to occupy yourself with, games and consoles to play them on, but the hours were long and he seemed to be the only company you were allowed. You were tempted to complain, but it was difficult to find your voice, when he was around. When anyone was around, really, but you tried not to think about that. Not when there were so many other things to keep your concern yourself with.

For example, the location of your prison, relative to the world you should be a part of. And, preferably, how you got back to the latter of the two.

When you asked, you didn’t dare think. You swallowed your nerves and spit out the words, keeping your eyes narrowed on the pad of lined paper in front of you. Maruki had handed it over the moment you expressed an interest in the object, but you had yet to decipher its contents. To you, it just seemed like a list of names, only a handful of which you recognized. “Where am I?”

“It’s complicated,” He answered, automatically. As if he’d expected you to ask this question sooner. “It’s… It’s my perfect reality. One where everyone can be exactly what they want to be, and have everything they long for. There’s more of it than-” He motioned vaguely around the room, clearly unimpressed with its contents. You couldn’t say you blamed him. “-this, but I didn’t want to smother you. I know how overwhelmed you can get, sometimes.”

“I’m working on that,” You mumbled, immediately longing to take it back. If anyone knew what you were working on, it was Maruki, the man who you considered to be one of your closest confidants less than a week ago. He was a kind man, and you’d trusted him… You still trusted him, honestly. It was impossible to stop, once you’d already allowed yourself to open up. “And there’s no way out of… ‘your reality’, is there? Without your help, I mean.”

Maruki took offense to that. He’d been seated at your desk, for the duration of this visit, maintaining a professional distance, but he stood when you brought up the topic of leaving. You heard a sigh as soft, measured footsteps made their way to your side. He hadn’t tried to close the distance between you two since you first woke up. Rather, he slid onto the end of your bed, his back coming to rest against the barred footboard, his legs left to intermingle with yours in the space between. It felt intimate, and as if by instinct, you were against it. “I don’t want you to feel like your a prisoner--”

“I am a prisoner,” You interrupted. “I can’t leave, so I’m a prisoner.”

“You’re a guest.” He sounded disappointed, but firm, his eyes flickering over your face and attempting to meet yours. You looked away, once again attempting to focus on his many, nonsensical lists. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to make you happy. I can make people different, here, and I can make you different.” He finished with a bright, broad smile, only realizing his mistake a moment after your hurt became palpable. “Wait, that’s not what I - You won’t be different. You’ll be what you’re meant to be.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, beaming forward like there was nowhere in the world he’d rather be. “Nothing about you will change. If anything, you’ll be more you than you are now. Everyone here is. I can show you around, if you let me help you.”

“If I let you control me.” He opened his mouth, ready to provide another repetitive rebuttal, but you didn’t let him, biting the inside of your cheek as you fought to continue. “That’s what it is, right? You know I won’t fight, not once you’ve got me trapped in your little, perfect daydream. The only thing I can’t think of is why you don’t just-” You waved a hand in some vague, arbitrary gesture, attempting to vent your frustration physically. The effects were minimal, at best. “-do it, already. If this was really your reality, you wouldn’t keep asking for my consent.”

“It has to be your choice.” The declaration wasn’t triumphant, or altruistic, or anything less than pained. As if it hurt him to admit it. “I know you need to make progress. You want this to be your accomplishment, and I’m not going to take that away from you. I want you to be proud, (Y/n), I do, but I can help. This can be our achievement. I can make it so--”

“So I forget I hate myself?” Before you knew it, you were on your feet, your fists clenched at your sides and your vision red. You were angry. There wasn’t a point in denying it, why would you? He was the only person you’d spoken too in weeks, and it wasn’t like there was much to discuss. You had no one to protect your reputation from, and you refused to strive to prove yourself to Maruki. He didn’t deserve that. Regardless of how badly he wanted to try to act like he did, he didn’t. You were sure of that.

You had to be sure of that.

“I don’t want to be some brainwashed doll you can tow around as a shining example of how wonderful your fucked-up therapy is. I’m not who you want me to be, I’m not who I want me to be, I’m me. I have to be the one to deal with that, even if I have to do it on my own. There’s no quick-fix, or magic solution, or ‘cognitive wrap’, whatever you’ve been calling it. That’s not what I need.” You gasped, if only to stop yourself from losing your temper. You’d started to pace without realizing it, and when you came to a stop, you were facing one of the dull, white walls. It was fitting, you guessed. You didn’t want to see his response, not right away. “Remember the first time we met? When I went to you for advice?

His reply was delayed. It came with a soft exhale, ragged, but tamer than yours. Nostalgic, even. “You shook like a leaf. How could I forget?”

“I was terrified,” You admitted, letting a fraction of the tension in your body dissolve. “I was in a bad place, and it took me days to scrape up the courage to tell someone about it. If you’d made your offer then…” You let out a sad, breathy laugh, the sound as humorless as it was dry. “You said I had to believe I could make progress before I relied on anyone else. That’s what I’m doing. You can’t guilt me for following your advice.”

There was a beat of silence, a moment where you genuinely could’ve thought he’d begun to understand. Then, Maruki opened his mouth, and you were snapped out of that fantasy as abruptly as you’d been thrown into it. “I loved you back then, too. As much as I do now. If I could’ve done anything to end your suffering, I would’ve.”

You didn’t hesitate, your voice just loud enough for him to hear. “I think you should leave.”

“(Y/n), I--”

“Please, Takuto,” You interrupted, your nails beginning to dig into your palms. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

There was a huff. A sigh. But, you didn’t look over your shoulder until the metal-plated door had swung shut, a lock clicking into place from the other side, leaving you more alone than you had been before he made his daily visit.

For whatever reason, you had a feeling you wouldn’t be getting a second, that day.

Isolation was a tenuous thing.

You couldn’t keep track of time. Not here, not in this room, not when the sky never changed color and you never really felt hungry or thirsty or much of anything at all, if it didn’t have to do with Maruki and his ‘perfect world’. But, after your first real argument, Maruki had stayed away long enough to make his absence known, rather than just a particularly long lapse between tense encounters. It might’ve been a day, a week, a month, but you didn’t care about the specifics.

It was long enough to make you miss him. You supposed that was all that mattered.

There was a unique intimacy in the hand he rested on the center of your back, the steady fingers of a practiced professional rubbing slow, deliberate circles into the space just below your shoulder-blade. He hadn’t gotten this close before. He could’ve, you wouldn’t have had the courage to stop him, but after so much time spent alone with your own thoughts, this was the first time you truly embraced his presence by your side, his knee almost touching yours. Anything to make it feel like you weren’t trapped inside your own head.

He allowed you to sit in silence for a moment or two, your face buried in your palms and your legs crossed, keeping you perched on the edge of the bed, allowing you to wallow in your own self-pity and a fraction of his, too. Maruki didn’t seem to mind. He smiled, the expression nothing short of nurturing, pushing you a little close to the cliffside between you and the flawless, guilt-ridden submission he so very much to shove you towards. The way he spoke wasn’t any better, just as kind. As sickeningly tender as the rest of his facade. “I pushed you too far,” He admitted, a half-hearted laugh lacing the edges of his confession. “Too much ground to cover, never enough time. I should’ve let you think.”

You sighed, the sound desolate, miserable. A poor imitation of something that should’ve brought relief. “It’s not… It’s not just that. I’d never really adjust to…” You trailed off, swinging your legs over the cot’s side, kicking idly at the well-scoffed tiles. “...Whatever this is. Maybe you should work on that. Make a Visitor’s Center for your next abductee.”

“I’ll make you the host,” He added, prodding your side with an elbow. “My offer still stands, if you’ve changed your mind.”

You leaned against him. You leaned against him, and you rested your head on his shoulder and you let out another labored, languid sigh, somehow more sorrowful than your last. “I think you know what I’m going to say, Takuto.”

His collected grin pressed against the top of your head as he pushed a kiss into your scalp, a gentle hand coming up to draw you into a one-sided hug. You allowed it, indulged it, even, smiling up at him as he pulled away. Maruki took his time standing, stretching idly and holding out a single hand, letting something long and golden appear in his palm, a staff that tapered off into a sharpened point on one end, and sprouted into a shining, petaled star on the other. You were shocked for a moment, both by the gaudiness of the object and how wrong it seemed in Maruki’s hand, but you didn’t have much time to linger on the new addition. Not when he was so quick to draw your attention away.

“I think I’m too nice to you,” He started, still facing the furthest wall. “That’s the common factor. I get ahead of myself, and then I try to make it up to you with time and understanding and all the things I assume you’ll want. That just makes you hostile, though. I’ll try something different, next time. Something less… personal. On my end, at least.”

There were a dozen things you could’ve said. Accusations, questions, everything in between and a handful of options you hadn’t thought of, yet. But, as soon as you opened your mouth, your eyes were closing, your body collapsing and a supreme sense of exhaustion washing over you, traveling hand in hand with dizziness and every other sensation that could’ve urged you to sleep. Every other tortuous thing Maruki could’ve forced onto your mind to bend you to his whim.

You felt yourself fall to the floor just as your vision went black.

You woke up on a cot that squeaked when you moved.

It was an awful noise, rusted out and worn down, and it only got worse as you forced your body to move, pushing yourself into a more respectable position with arms that didn’t want to cooperate. They ached, argued, screamed, and you had a feeling they would creak too, if they could. The room around you was blurry, blurry and smudged and alien, and you realized rather numbly that you didn’t know where you were.

You realized you didn’t know where you were, and alarmingly, you realized you didn’t care.

You didn’t have to. There was already a familiar face at your side, one hand clamped around your bicep and the other resting on your shoulder, holding you up when you failed to do so yourself. It was your counselor, Takuto Maruki, smiling as brightly as ever.

“I have an offer for you,” He said, once you’d regained your balance. “One I have a feeling you’ll like.”

Without thinking, you found yourself nodding along.

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paintdface · 3 years

Text

moths to a flame: one

“i know you don’t like to think of it as a celebration, but i couldn’t help myself.” he shrugs his stocky shoulders. calloused hands reach for the crystal and holds it in the air. “because if anything, we can celebrate that night bringing us together. i’m happy you’re in my life.”

reader x din djarin horror/thriller modern au.

tw: blood, kidnap, hospital mention, some mentions of nsfw content.

word count: 3.4k.

A/N: i hope you enjoy this story as much as i enjoy writing it. i would love to hear what you think of it! a pinterest board for this story is here. the preface to this part is here. the header is by @/packsparadise.

… twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two.

your eyes fly open beneath the surface of the water. everything above is obscured by the bath water. you can barely make out the tiles on the walls or the color of your shower curtain. you wait a few more seconds to see how long you can stay underwater before you spring to life. bath water sloshes over the sides with a quiet splash. you gasp for air like the way you did years ago on that godforsaken road. this time you don’t feel the icy air fill your lungs and you’re grateful. gripping the sides of the tub, you fix your gaze on the dripping faucet, feeling your heart race in your chest. your ex-therapist told you to focus on something when you felt this way— when you felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest.

that was the only good thing they ever taught you.

sinking back into the water, you let the bath water sit at your chin. it’s cold now. cold and still. you’ve been in the bath so long your fingers are pruny. a foot peeks out of the water, painted toes curl around the shower valve to turn on the hot water. you welcome the feeling of warmth again.

your gaze drifts from the faucet to the phone resting on top of the bathroom counter. although it was turned off, you kept it close just in case. you dreaded the inevitable moment you’d turn it back on. you would be greeted with missed calls, texts and emails. some from the few friends you have left, some from reporters, some from family and one from him. from the man who saved you on the worst night of your life.

you said he didn’t have to keep in contact with him even though you wanted him to. you understood that he had a life of his own; one that didn’t involve sticking around for you when you needed comfort. but, he insisted. he said he wanted to keep track of you. he wanted to make sure you were safe. after all this time he cared.

once the water runs cold again, you finally rise from the basin. water drips off your skin, the droplets echoing in the empty bathroom. you grab the towel from the rack and wrap it around your body before stepping out. the bathroom mirror is foggy making your face look distorted. your features are no longer visible. you only see a silhouette and hair— not the slope of your nose, not the mascara smudged around your sleepless eyes, not the scars littering your skin. reaching forward, you wipe at the mirror until familiar pieces of you are revealed.

you’re grateful you recognize yourself today.

reluctantly, you grab your phone before exiting the bathroom. instead of getting dressed you collapse on to the unmade bed. your finger holds down the on button of your phone and you place it face down on your chest. it only takes a few seconds for it to begin buzzing. notifications light up the screen.

“shit.”

you could turn it off. you could ignore the prying questions and condolences. you could run away. yet, you turn it back on and look.

the date lights up the screen. the anniversary of the day you were saved. it should be a day for celebration. after all, you survived. but the way exhaustion clings to your limbs and sleep is heavy on your eyes puts you in no mood to celebrate.

combing through the endless messages, you skim the sentences and delete almost half. emails from curious journalists make you roll your eyes.

sent at 8:03: hi my name is amy daniels from the new york times and i was wondering if i could get a comment about the anniversary…

delete.

sent at 10:36: good morning, i am the producer of a nightly news talk show at cnn and i wanted to know if you would be interested…

delete.

sent at 11:17: this is jose ramos from realtruecrimefans.com messaging you again about your thoughts on your kidnapper, riley williams, current whereabouts…

your heart clenches in your chest at the sight of his name. you try to avoid thinking about him. you avoid saying his name. the last time you said his name is when you wrote about him in your memoir. his name wasn’t worth the energy it took to say his name.

riley williams was dead. at least to you he’s dead. no one has seen or heard from him since you ran away. the police searched for weeks to no avail. search parties went out at night combing through the woods to search for him. it didn’t take long for the media to pick up a story of a beautiful girl gone missing and found in the woods after breaking free. for weeks after your escape, his picture was everywhere. it was a nation wide manhunt. it continued once you wrote your memoir titled “forty-seven days in hell: my personal journey” and everyone wanted to be the one to put him in jail.

yet, no one found him. he was gone.

a few deep breaths later and you’re continuing to weed out messages. everything felt like bullshit. even the texts from the few friends you had left lacked genuineness. you sent back half-assed replies and listened to the voicemails, but never called anyone back. there was only one person you wanted to hear from today.

din.

you scroll until you see his name. he texted you early this morning. he texted you when he knew you would be asleep.

din: hey, darling. hope you slept well. call me if you need anything.

you smile. something you loved about din is he never pushed your boundaries. he gave you your space, but knew if you needed him, he’d be there. even though he didn’t live in the city, he always came. he was always there when you wanted him.

you hit the call button and listen. it only takes a few rings before you hear the low, steady tone of his soothing voice.

“hey, you’re up.”

“i am… are you surprised?”

the sound of his muffled laughter chimes on the other end. “maybe a little,” he pauses for a moment. “how are you holding up?” you can tell he’s nervous to ask because he’s not sure what the answer will be.

you sigh. rolling over on to your stomach, you shrug like he can see you. “i’m okay.” you’re not sure what to say. deep down you’re not fine, but you crave normalcy. you want to feel normal. “it just feels… weird. today should be like any other day, but it’s not.” your confession surprises you.

“we can make it normal.” the sound of ‘we’ makes your heart flutter. “i was planning on coming to the city for business. we can meet for dinner?”

you know he’s probably not coming to the city for work, but he’s coming for you. every year since he saved you he came into the city on the anniversary. he’d meet you for dinner at the same restaurant, at the same table and you two would act normal when you really weren’t.

“i’d love that. same place?”

“same place at seven.” you can hear movement on the other end. the sound of grogu barking in the background makes you happy. you miss him. “hey, darling?”

“yes?”

“if you need me to come earlier, i will. just say the word and i’m there.”

your eyes flutter shut. god, he was the only one you ever wanted. the only one who treated you like a person. “i will.” but you know you won’t. “i’ll see you then.”

“i’ll see you then. take care of yourself, darling.” and then the line goes cold and the familiar beep tells you he hung up.

—

shaky hands reach for the heat pouring out of the vents. your hugging the heat and the door; both for warmth and for a quick escape in case your hero turns out to be a villain. you’ve already learned your lesson about trusting people. the only sound filling the truck’s cabin is the engine revving as the driver tears through the roads, your teeth chattering and the dog at your neck happily panting.

it’s only until he finally says something. “what’s your name?”

“d-darling.”

he quickly glances away from the road and in your direction. “what kind of name is darling?”

“my name. that’s my name.” you hate how bitter you sound. you should be grateful.

“okay…” he clears his throat and continues driving for awhile before finally breaking the silence again. “what happened to you? who took you? who did this to you?” he sounded concerned and calm, yet there was a hint of anger lacing his words.

you’re reluctant to say anything, but you knew you should get used to telling your tale. you’d have to say it a hundred more times: to police, to journalists, to your family. “he said his name was riley,” you shudder at the name. hopefully, you’ll never have to say his name again. “we met at a bar and i thought he was nice, but he— he—” you can’t get the words out. the sound of sobs cut through your words. everything was catching up to you. the gravity of the situation weighed you down, tying you to earth. tethering you to this smelly truck with a big eyed dog and a pair of mysterious brown eyes. “please just get me out of here!”

you can hear him swallow hard. “it’s okay. just stay calm. we’re almost at the main roads.” he glances over at you. you can barely make out his face in the dark, but you still see those beautiful brown eyes. something to cling to— another beacon of hope. “there’s a police station a few miles out. i know the captain. he’ll help you.”

shaking, your arms wrap around you, like you’re protecting yourself. no matter how tight you hug yourself you can’t stop trembling. your feet are numb, your eyes are heavy, your head hurts and the emptiness in your stomach catches up with you. weakly you utter, “wh-what’s your name?” “din. my name is din.”

despite your better judgement your eyes begin to flutter and your body goes numb. it gets harder to breathe, but you’re too tired to care. it’s easier to give in to the darkness. you’ve done enough; there’s no more fight left.

“din.” it’s the last thing you say before your eyes flutter shut and pass out. you don’t wake again until you’re in a hospital bed. you scream his name until a nurse runs in and you demand to see the man that saved you. you pull at the i.v. needle in your arm, thrash in the scratchy sheets and rip at the oxygen at your nose until they sedate you.

hours later you’re awake and he’s at your bedside. he doesn’t leave until visiting hours are over. he’ll keep coming back until you ask him not to— which is never.

—

it takes you a long time to peel yourself off of the bed. your silhouette is imprinted on the bed from lying there in a wet towel for so long. the white cotton towel falls at your feet. it takes you forever to file through your closet to find the right outfit. you’re looking for something in between fancy and not trying too hard. you wanted to look good; you’re not sure if it’s for din or yourself.

you settle on a dress and boots. the dress had been worn a million times and the boots had walked miles through new york, but they’re your favorite. it’s like wearing a safety blanket. you take your time getting ready considering it’s hours until seven. you drift around your apartment with a glass of red wine in hand. your biggest vice is cheap red wine. it was something to make you forget. a glass of hope, you lovingly told your concerened best friend.

the more you drink the more you feel like you’re floating. you have plenty of room to roam considering how spacious your apartment is— it’s far too big for a single person in new york. you were only able to afford it from the royalties you made off your book. turns out writing a book about your trauma and exposing your open wounds to the world had its perks. who knew?

—

you ended up dancing barefoot in your apartment with a glass of red wine spilling from your glass as you moved. you didn’t care about the stains on the overly priced rug in your living room, you were just happy to feel something good again. the future of seeing din again and the warm feeling the wine gave you was your miniature escape. when you glance at your phone you realize you’re almost late. curse words are shouted out into your apartment as you stumble your way towards the front door, balancing your bag and putting on your shoes as you went.

despite your late start, you make it to the restaurant on time. the minute you walk in your eyes are settled on the table in the corner. it’s the same table he always got for you. din’s back is turned to you, but you notice the familiar mop on his head and the broad shoulders enclosed by the only suit he owned. same old din, you think. sighing, your chest rises and falls as you watch him. you watch as he talks to the waiter and sip at his glass, occasionally looking down at his watch, wondering if this time you’ll be late. smiling, you walk to the back of the restaurant.

“hi,” you greet him. it doesn’t take long for him to stand up and pull you into his arms. you collide with his strong torso and your arms circle around his middle. you bury your face into his chest and his chin is tucked in to the top of your head. his cologne lingers on his collar— warm spice and must. your favorite. it feels perfect. it was what you longed for all day. you wished the embrace lasted longer, but he pulls away and gestures towards the seat across from him.

“hey, darling.” he finally says. “glad you could make it.”

you almost roll your eyes. he knows you have nothing else going on. you don’t have a traditional 9-5, you keep to yourself and you never miss a meeting with din. but, he’s nice for saying so. he’s always so nice— a lot nicer and more trusting than you’ve ever been.

“how’s my boy?” you eagerly ask, shedding yourself of your coat.

“grogu?” his brows raise, asking as if there isn’t another floppy eared boy you’d refer to. “he’s good. even though he’s an old man, he still acts like a puppy. it’s like it’s the first day i rescued him from the shelter.” his eyes light up as he talks about grogu. the well trained dog was din’s life. you fell in love with him, too. he made you feel safe the same way din did.

“i miss him…” your words trail off. your eyes peer up from the menu at the other. “i missed you.”

din wets his lips. his eyes are soft as he gazes at you, trying to see if you’ve changed at all since the last time you got together. “i missed you too. it’s been too long.”

“it has.”

you two catch up and go through the pleasantries. you ask about grogu and work and the shitty truck he refuses to give up. he asks you about your writing and if you’re still going to therapy and you lie and say both are going well.

you haven’t written in weeks and stopped going to therapy three months ago.

it doesn’t take long until two champagne flutes are placed in front of you and you can’t help but scoff. of course he would.

even though you didn’t feel like tonight was a night for bubbles and toasts, you grab your glass and mimic him anyway. you don’t do much for other people, but you’ll do this for him.

“to us.” your glass collides with his and you empty its contents.

—

dinner was lovely. you two reminisced on all your memories together, drank too much wine and ate too much food. he watched you devour chocolate cake and cheesecake. you laughed about how you only live once and he was less than pleased with your joke.

afterwards, he insisted on walking you home. you wanted to say that you were fine walking alone, but you’re too selfish and you wanted him around a little longer before he had to go home. you walked in silence, shoulders brushing against one another. occasionally his hand would rest on your lower back to guide you across streets or to pull you closer when strange men got too close. his touch was something you craved.

sometimes, late at night when you were alone and couldn’t sleep, you thought about his touch in other ways. your mind drifted when it skimmed down your stomach and under the covers to travel in between parted thighs. you thought about the sweat on his brow, his worn hands on your hips and his breath hot on your neck. his usual calm, sturdy voice turned more needy and soft— longing for you the way you longed for him. your name falling from parted lips to say, “darling, darling, darling.” just like the flames did. it felt wrong to think of din that way, but you couldn’t help it.

some nights you wondered if he was thinking the same thing, too.

your walk together ended all too soon. his hand removed from the small of your back and were stuffed into his slack pockets. he let out a long sigh before breaking the silence, “guess this is where i go.”

you frown. “din, you can stay the night. i have a couch you can crash on and in the morning you can go home.” you hated how you sounded like you were pleading.

his head dropped. “i gotta get home to grogu and i have work in the morning.” he sounded like he was trying to convince himself not to stay the night.

“can you at least walk me to my door?”

he silently nods and you’re happy for the small victory. the elevator ride up to your apartment is silent just like the walk home and for a moment you feel a tension. it was palpable. you swore you could touch the energy between you two.

or were you making it up?

he walks you to your door and you stop short. there’s an envelope lying on your doorstep. carefully, you approach it, nearly tip toeing it like you’re afraid there’s landmines. like the parchment would blow up in your face.

bending down, you reach for the paper and examine the outside. there’s no address, no postage stamp, nothing. it said: to my darling.

your heart sinks and you can feel din at your side. his hand curls around your forearm. “are you sure you want to open that? could be a stupid prank.” but you don’t say a word. you only proceed to open it with shaky hands. the envelope falls at your feet and you read the contents of the page. a single sentence written in blood:

i’m always watching you, my love. - r.w.

your hands shake and your crumble the paper into a ball and sink to your feet, din is there to catch you, slowly lowering your body to the ground.

all of that work you did in therapy, all the glasses of wine, all the dinners with din went out the window. you felt as small as you did that night. riley williams was alive and he knew exactly where you were. you were no longer safe. you never really were.

one thing was for sure, din was not going home tonight.

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandolorian x reader #the mandalorian au #pedro pascal fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian #mine #moths to a flame

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

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How Day6 would comfort you when you come home crying

warnings: some foul language

an: i was informed about how little day6 content there was (ty @justcuz-ican), so here is more these are written for people who prefer physical active comfort rather than being left alone when upset, so i may write a set of reactions for people who are the other way round

all members under the cut :)

Sungjin

he may not be used to openly discussing feelings but that does not mean he doesn’t care

he loves you so much and so dearly that seeing you cry will wreck him

i have no doubts he would drop everything for you if the time called for it

he’s a very good listener, and will remain quiet if you need to vent

he is a fixer, and so when you explain what happened, and if you want help, he will do his damn best to make it all ok again

will 100% sort it for you all by himself (if you don’t want him to, you might want to, like... stop him before he does real quick)

he’s very loyal ok so will take your side no matter what

when it comes to comfort it would depend on how long you’ve been together for

if it’s still early days (by his standards), he will try his best to offer verbal support, and then help you continue with your day to the best of both of your ability

however if you’ve been together for a long while

so long that no one, including yourselves, can see yourself with anyone else

he will be a lot more affectionate on top of the above

that’s when you know that you’ve caught his heart without a catch or caveat

will hold you close in a simple but in no way inferior embrace

and trust me, sungjin hugs are phenomenal

and so these are no different

he’s just so soft, you would be so warm and secure in his arms, sobs gradually coming to a stop as your tears dried upon his shirt

i have a lot of feels for sungjin ok

Jae

cuddles + distraction king

will send little messages of support throughout the day if you choose/are able to text him about how bad things are going

as soon as you come home he will take you into his arms

will dry your tears with his fingers as best he can

seeing you upset has the capability to make him very nearly cry too, depending on what it is and how bad (and his day too)

will take the two of you to somewhere comfortable

whether it be sofa or bed or wherever, just somewhere close and safe

he gets it, you need the security

will settle you into his lap and that’s it, that’s your home now

strokes your hair and will speak no louder than a murmur for you

if you want to talk about it, he will listen and comment where he can

lots of verbal support

won’t leave your side until you stop crying, no joke

if/when you need distracting, those movies are going on bois

or he will play a video game if you’d prefer something different

is not above deliberately being bad and making stupid commentary to make you laugh

by the end the sadness will feel like it happened in another time

jae is just that good

Younghyun

will not stop fawning over you

he’s affectionate anyway

so when he sees you upset he tries to give you as much of it as possible

back rubs, cuddles, forehead and cheek kisses, the full lot

so gentle

so good to vent to because his advice is really sound

he doesn’t want to leave your side, but will make exceptions

and so will bring you pretty much anything and everything to try and make it better

from tissues to snacks to his special hoodies you name it

once you stop crying, your treatment doesn’t stop there

nope, sorry, that’s not how kang younghyun rolls

on the day he will make you food, yes

and then he will coax you into sleep (probably spooning or with your head on his chest, he likes that)

then the next time you’re together, prepare yourself

as even if your day has been fine and all your problems are sorted, he’s taking you out to a lovely restaurant

or taking you shopping and buying the shit you saw in the shop window and didn’t buy for frankly no good reason

he wants the week to balance out at the very least

because he may not be able to fix the actual problems that made you upset, but in a way he can make it up to you

even though its 90% of the time never his fault

overall, get yourself a youngk yall

Wonpil

my babie is a sensitive soul

im not saying he’s going to weep with you when you come home after your god awful day

but will he tear up?

yes

he’s a bit of an emotion sponge i get that and seeing you hurt just rubs onto him

doesn’t know what to do really, so may flounder slightly at times

he’s used to you being quite the rock

but he’s an affection king so prepare to be smothered because he isn’t changing now

will be 100x more gentle though

if that’s possible

...yeah it’s possible

cups your cheeks so carefully as if you’re made of glass

he’ll catch your tears on the corners of his sleeves

and then will proceed to do and give you everything that makes him feel better when he’s upset

so his plushie, his blankets, his food, the lot

and then will make it a special night for you

meaning, the softest night in you could imagine

understands you the best, and will say the right thing at the right time

loyal once again, so will always take your side too

and will hold a grudge

even if the problems are sorted the very next day, if a person caused them, he will not trust them until they give him a good reason to like... ever again lol

even if you insist that they’re not as bad anymore

they’ll just be known as ‘the prick that made y/n cry’ and will get glares from him if they see him in the street

of course if they apologise and prove that they’ve improved then he’s back to being a sunshine

mostly

honestly i think wonpil could be strangely threatening if he really, really wanted to be

tho tbh i am biased bc if i disappointed him once i would cry on the spot so idk

Dowoon

sweet babe

wouldn’t quite know what to do at first

especially if it’s still early days in your relationship

not amazing at talking but will try his hardest

same applies for physical comfort

you may have to initiate if it’s the very first time if you want a hug sorry

but he will learn quickly

and will go from holding you close and secure while quietly listening to you vent

to recognising something is wrong by your text aura alone

and preparing things if he can for when you get home

would make a small pillow fort for you ngl

i then see him making small changes to his behaviour that mean big things

so yes, when your relationship is strong and stable, he will cradle you just how you like

and no kidding his back rubs are really comforting

but for the rest of the week he will be super careful

and so will take on a few more chores despite the fair distribution you have going so far

when walking together in public he will normally hold your hand, but for the few days after he will actually put an arm around you instead

and when at home he’ll definitely sit a lot closer to you

going out of his way to work in the same room or a seat closer to you despite being already set up elsewhere

small text messages throughout the day checking if everything is fine, and if any people that caused you issues have done anything else

he remembers you see

he’ll probably return to his slightly shy and normal self after but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to him

after all, i can see him growing used to moving to join you when you come home, and so that may become a common occurrence once he is sure you want that too

overall, a caring boyfriend, just in a more subtle way

~~~

an: i feel this isnt as put together as my others but i hope its still legible and worthwhile

masterlist

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shorkbrian · 3 years

Text

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!! A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say ��thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me.

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you.

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

#shorkbrian answers a lot of asks #pls block that tag if you don't want to see these kinds of posts #inbox was getting fulll #tysvm for continuing to support me

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ask-artsy-oncie · 3 years

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So I’m kinda in a meh/apathetic headspace in regards to my mental health right now. Maybe it would be best to just let some thoughts out.

Firstly, I do want to apologize for making stupid, borderline inflammatory posts and throwing them out there onto tumblr dot com, I know that’s never the best course of action. However, I really, really do not appreciate anons sending vague “are you okay”s at me. If you’re not close enough to me where you can’t PM me (relatively) face-to-face, then I really wouldn’t like random inquiries about my mental health from you. Maybe it’s just because I don’t 100% trust anons (I’ve been here for a decade, I’ve seen some shit, can you really blame me?) but I think I ought to make myself clear on that. Are we clear on that? cool.

I don’t know... I’ve felt so lost and tired recently, moreso than usual.

I’ve always had a massive complex about annoying people, being too self-indulgent, not having good ideas or opinions or what-have-you. People who have known me for a while almost definitely know that. I don’t think it all necessarily exists in a vacuum, either I have a genuinely hard time coming up with objectively good ideas. Sometimes I’m just straight-up “head empty” mode. I’m also often really opinionated and sometimes intend to die on hills that people aren’t really meant to die on (or are even necessarily worth dying on). I can get way too wrapped up on meaningless things because my brain is too hyperfocused on this one thing, or maybe something I rely too heavily on for comfort is... I don’t know how to put it.... put at risk? Challenged? I have a lot of mental issues and real life issues, though I’m not claiming to be massively oppressed or anything, but I tend to cling to comforts a little too desperately. And I’m not just talking about like. Media. Just comforts in general. Sometimes I’ll spend too much of the day laying in bed. Sometimes I cling to old relationships or old forms of relationships or I constantly worry about the day I’ll inevitably no longer have the same relationships I have now.

I’ve known I needed therapy for a while now. I’m waitlisted and everything, but I need to go about actually choosing a therapist to see and I’ve been dragging my feet on that so I guess that’s my bad. I’ll get to it. Shit’s overwhelming, yknow?

Anyways I know I have a lot of these flaws and problems and I think my horrible anxieties about being too annoying and whatnot is just a really extreme form of self-reflection. Maybe. Not entirely sure. Maybe a therapist could tell me.

I get way too passionate, way too easily, and it’s almost always followed by a super intense period of shame, like, to the point where I’m desperate to isolate myself and destroy my relationships with other people, because then at least I’m actually trying to destroy a relationship by being a bad person, rather than someone leaving me for... I don’t know, being too happy? Caring too much? Talking too much? Just. Shit I have less control over.

I’ve tried putting a cap on it, suppressing everything. Trying not to indulge too much, trying not to be so happy and talkative, straight-up deleting messages I think might be too annoying the second I send them. Trying to be inoffensive through being unnoticeable. I’m trying to do that now, honestly. It’s why I joked about deleting my blog. All it does is hurt and make me go fucking nuts because I’m bottling up a lot in doing that, I know. I’m just not fully convinced I don’t just deserve to feel that way.

There are a lot of points in my life where I’m convinced that my best course of action in succeeding or keeping people from being put-off by me is to just sit down and shut up and draw what I’m told to draw. To just completely lose my agency in drawing. It makes sense, when you feel like you don’t have any good ideas of your own, you just illustrate others’. And there are many, many points where I have done this out of a place of love. Fuck, most of what I’ve drawn for Lolly’s writing has come out of a place of genuine love, not just for her work, but for her. A lot of what I’ve drawn for Bethany (for any REAL long-time followers reading this) has been like that, too. But there are also points where it honestly just feels like my only purpose is to be a tool through which others may visualize their whims. That if I dare inject too much of myself into things, they’ll be permanently ruined. And then there’s the shame I feel in having wanted to impart a piece of myself into a work - a demerit for being too selfish or self-important to deem my whims anywhere near good or important enough to be included.

I have so many ideas. So many opinions and thoughts and feelings and genuine insight that I’ve suppressed or deleted because I either feel like that’s what’s expected of me, or I’m straight-up told that my thoughts and opinions are bad and wrong. Like. Fuck me for having opinions on animated media levels of being shut-down. And you know, I’ve noticed something in the past decade of being an insufferable opinionated prick about things like that - that it’s actually easier for me to enjoy media when I’m allowed to be negative and critical of it. When I am allowed to just share my thoughts. And I don’t mean like, without being disagreed with, I mean like, in an environment where I’m made to feel like I actually can share these thoughts. When I can pinpoint and analyze what I didn’t like or what made me upset, it can be a lot easier for me to then move on and be able to focus on aspects that I genuinely do like. Like, holy fuck, it is SO much easier for me to pick-and-choose aspects of a certain sequel film that I actually like and feel comfortable saying I like than it was for me to do with the original, because I no longer have an incredibly toxic person in my life (or at least, in my life as much).

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had this kind of experience since then, like. There are STILL things I struggle to move past because I have been made to feel like I just can’t fucking talk about them without being insufferable (sorry if I’m overusing that word - it just feels like the best word the feeling I’m trying to describe) or just straight-up ruining something for someone I care about. Keeping shit like this in does crazy shit to me, for real, and there’s still a large part of me that tells me “Fuck you. Suck it up. None of this shit matters.” Y’know? Because in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn’t. And then there’s the shame that comes from having cared so much in the first place. It’s a fucking cycle. There’s some shit that’s just irreparable ruined for me because of this and that SUCKS.

I don’t like losing comforts. Fuck, I hate it, really. And I’m not talking about new comforts coming along and catching my attention as an old comfort begins to wane, I’m talking like. Destroying relationships, feeling SO MUCH shame surrounding a comfort media that it’s too difficult to enjoy it no matter how hard I try, or having too hard of a time disassociating a comfort with a horrible event or person. And it’s feeling like at LEAST one of these is starting to happen to me again and Good Gods it’s just. It’s so terrifying.

But who do I tell? When my primary worry is annoying or offending or hurting people? Y’know? I can’t just vent to one single person to this all the time, that isn’t fair. But it gets to a point where my brain tells me “No, you can’t talk to ANYONE about this because that’s rude and wrong and a true friend wouldn’t do that. There’s a reason why you can make any number of concerning posts, messages, private ramblings, whatever, and the people you’re closest to won’t ask you what’s wrong.”

And, yeah, honestly, I do think it’s true that the people I consider my closest friends won’t read this. I actually don’t believe the average person will read this, or at least get this far. I genuinely do just talk too much and it’s a lot for most people to deal with. Otherwise, I talk too little, and probably enter the “you should be able to read my MIND” level of expectations, which, of course, isn’t far. I understand, I swear I do, it just takes some time to come to terms with every time I get wrapped up in my stupid mental stuff. And I also promise that I try to give these people the same kind of response I want, y’know? I try to look out for any worrying behavior and try to offer an ear and help in any way that I can. I don’t think expecting the same in return is fair, I just worry about any of them being like me, and I’m willing to play to that if it’s necessary. I’ll break quiet streaks for that shit, y’know?

Honestly, these stupid quiet streaks are probably more unbearable for me than they are even noticeable for most people. It sucks. I just wish my mind was normal so I A) wouldn’t have these insecurities to begin with, because B) I would never end up exhibiting the behavior to warrant such insecurities.

There’s so much shit I want to talk about, to analyze, or explore, that I want to share with the world, or at least with people I love, that I probably never will because my stupid brain has already decided that all this stupid shit is better kept to myself where it can rot and be forgotten eventually. Which is fine, in the grand scheme of things, I guess, because I functionally have never really been the guy who comes up with ideas (at least, good ideas) I’m just the pencil, the one who I guess makes things visual? I can’t even bring myself to say “I bring the ideas to life” because that’s pretentious and untrue. These ideas are already alive because they come from brilliant minds.

I don’t even think it’s fair for me to call myself a character designer unless the characters are my own. Otherwise, I’m just following the directions of a much more competent conceptualizer (there’s a reason my characters barely have any... well, character). That’s the reason why I removed my unearned credit as the character designer for Ty from Swindle’s description, because I really don’t deserve that kind of credit. It’s why the asks about the designing process of Ty have been left unanswered, because, fuck, what do I even say? “I just did what Lolly told me to do, just like I did with all of Swindle. Please don’t give me that kind of credit, I know I falsely ascribed it to myself earlier, and I want to rectify that”? I guess I could have, actually, now that I’m typing this. But people always get fucking upset with me when I try not to take credit, even when it’s shit that isn’t mine!! So I don’t know what to do!! I don’t know what to fucking do!!! Because I just don’t fucking want to make people upset or unhappy!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, this post is too long and I’ve worked myself up and I’m no longer apathetic. I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep so big win for my complexion, honestly.

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I guess getting this shit out of my system is probably best to do in a big tumblr post no one will read.

I don’t want anons about this. If I can just ask one thing. Please.

#do n/ot reb/lo/g #rant #vent #long post #probably won't delete tbh #i don't know it's the most competent i've been about weird mind shit for a while now #so maybe it would be best to just leave it

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