#I still kind of sympathise? I still want him to get out of this mess alive with his son and family?
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Ok am I the only Dark fan who does NOT hate Ulrich? I am the only one right? Ok nice to meet you guys bye *crawls back into my cave
#ulrich nielsen#netflix dark#I've watched up to 2x01 though so maybe my opinion will change?#no spoils plz#I just kind of feel for him you know?#despite him being a cheater and a child murderer and basically a piece of shit#I still kind of sympathise? I still want him to get out of this mess alive with his son and family?#well he didn't actually kill Doppler but he had that intention
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hey if youre still doing hcs could you do specimen 12/old man pls?
INHALES. okay. i dont even know where to start
old man. for convenience im just gonna call him OM for the rest of this because i refuse to call him stanley. stanley is a SPECIFIC name that can only be given to SPECIFIC people with a SPECIFIC voice commanding their actions
looking at the wiki he's described as middle aged... maybe early 50s-early 60s?
youtube has been around for about 15 years and it probably started out as a hobby when he was in his 40s. although he never gained THAT much traction he was probably a niche exploration channel with a little following that dwindled over the years
the guy has a past in professional climbing but urban exploration was a prominent side hobby and interest for him so!!!
most of his notes as the vlogger victim are weirdly calm? i doubt he had much experience in paranormal prior but i guess if you're an urban explorer you're used to places being pretty nasty the further you go
he definitely encountered the specimen (since they're referenced in pretty much every other victim's notes and it's described that he went through specimen areas) but the fact that he never mentions them in his notes is interesting (i guess all these horrors beyond comprehension all equate to an 'uneasy vibe'). there's a lot of persona involved in vlogging so in refraining from actually mentioning any wounds or monsters he's encountered OM is masking the fear he has. he wants to let everyone know 'hey!!! hey im okay and managing!!'
i think the prospect of having an audience might have left him at least a little comforted. he probably found other lines of notes at the time and took solace in the concept of people knowing he's alive and moving (even if they don't know him personally)
i still hate the fact that his writing patterns completely change between specimen 12 and endless mode hallways but i get that if he was going 'hey guys. erm, so THAT just happened.' it would ruin suspense from a gameplay point of view so. I'll let that slide :/
he's been in for a few months and by the time the protagonist meets him, he's not COMPLETELY gone. specimen 12's weird parasitic nature relies on the prior host's death, and in parrying axe attacks he still has some kind of self preservation. but he definitely doesn't remember who he is or why he's there. 12 isn't exactly fully possessing but is more of a mindfuck like foodie and bab that mess with perception and mental state. it controls but doesn't invade
in OG OM was voiced by vernon shaw (hot pepper gaming). altho this was changed as well as the chillis being removed from specimen 12 in HD, the concept of specimen 12 being so deathly and terrible that only incredibly spicy and near-toxic food being able to grow in it is funny. no wonder he sounds like that.
as to further agitate hosts into murder, 12 doesn't actually generate any food. luckily, OM isn't a cannibal host and lives off of whatever he can grow down in the basement and any dead rats or (god forbid) specimen 3 carcasses that are around. If it wasn't for the strength given to him around 12 he would have died in a week
being an extrovert and feeding from that concept of an audience, being alone has had a massive toll on his mental state. this probably made him a more desirable host for 12 - if he's craving conversation and people then having voices and mirages impact his perception would definitely fuck him up enough to give in to kill. i don't usually take common headcanon names into account but people calling 12 'parry' gave me the idea of the spirits of 12 manifesting in visions as a singular being (although this vision is different to every host) in an attempt to aid with the host sympathising and agreeing with it.......
the entire hide-and-seek style game he creates for the protagonist - as well as sparked on by the protag being someone much younger than the typical victim (ILL WRITE MY PROTAG HCS IF ASKED.....) - is a reflection of him stalling to kill in order to entertain himself and 'entertain' his victim. if it weren't for his longing for human contact he'd probably kill straight off-the-bat but the opportunity to fulfill the gap for a short amount of time is open and sought-after.
despite this, there's a mutual separation between him and other specimen. he's not seen as a nuisance alike specimen 14 as he doesn't openly attack the others but is still a missed opportunity and not particularly wanted by anyone. most of the time he remains in specimen 12 but OM will venture out (on occasion) to specimen 13's rooms. his ONE good specimen relationship!!!
ok. POST BAD-END HCS.
fumbling their way thru the mansion would likely lead 14 to again meet OM at some point. 14 being hit with the SPECIMEN BEAM definitely enhanced their strength at least enough to kill and swing that axe more effectively. in anycase, if the two were to fight and OM almost loses, the clarity given through his self preservation is enough to at least make him aware that
1. He's being beat the shit out of by a teenager
2. He's attempting to kill the only other person in a similar situation to him
speaking OF that, the parallels within sjsm of the protag and [i guess ex-protag] seem to be everywhere when it comes to OM.
posters
sprinting mechanics
garden tool weapon in 500
him recovering (or getting worse depending on how you see it) by mentoring and helping 14 survive within the mansion is always a concept i thought of given they're both humans who have (somewhat) made it through. he'd definitely have more of a drive to live on (and kill the enterers b4 they could kill him)
i had the idea that if 12 is constantly expanding and shifting through the mansion then OM and 14 could take advantage of that and start actually growing stuff.... making a little survivors camp and plotting.
anyways. those are my old man headcanons. I have absolutely taken canon and stabbed it 30 times but the concept of an ex protag is so cool
UNDERRATED CHARACTER. OLD MAN FANS WHERE ARE YOU?!
the scar i draw on him is from the fight with 14.......................
#specimen 12#insane headcanoning#hcs#sjsm#spookys jumpscare mansion#spooky's jumpscare mansion#old man#shojs#shoj#spookys house of jumpscares#spooky's house of jumpscares#specimen 4#specimen 14#specimen 6#specimen 8
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Thank you for bringing up the hawks bashing. It's a pretty head banging thing bc aren't hawks and lov not so different? The point is that it's a tragic outcome of the hero society, despite the writing flaws. We can be sympathetic to the terrorists with sad backstories but not the hero with similarly sad backstory who in another world might have ended up like the lov?
I'm going to be the first to admit that I do not like how HK handled Hawks after the war. I felt like there was a set-up of a HPSC-focused mini-arc, where they would try to throw Hawks under the bus, and Hawks in turn would investigate them and that's how their dirty secrets would come to light.
I think it would have been a bit of a spiral arc for Hawks, and maybe then be pulled back by Deku somehow. Instead we got Nagant.
As someone who has been around when the manga chapters dropped on Hawks killing Twice, I remember there was a lot of controversy - but the fandom mood turned especially vicious when Hawks' backstory chapter dropped and it became clear that Twice's death will not be addressed. And then the anti sentiment got louder when it became clear that Hawks would support Endeavor.
Now, I think these plots were not handled well at all - the whole fall-out of the war was a big mess, and too rushed to really give us a good view of the state of mind of any character. But because Hawks was such a focal character of the PLF war and his motivations were so long kept ambiguous, I think that lack of introspection really hurt him.
I also feel like that Hawks thinking about how Twice was a "good guy" because he wanted to be useful for his friend, and his takeaway from that being that he, Takami Keigo with his shackles lost should also go back to his truest bond and support the discount bin toy that was sadly his most functional parental figure - I think it makes sense in a sad way.
Because the Endeavor plushie to Hawks represented that hope that even in the most horrible times heroes can make fantasy into reality, what more, even broken, tainted heroes can do it. So I feel like from Hawks' perspective, it makes sense that he wants to be "useful" to Endeavor, that he somehow wants to fix his broken toy and what it represented to him.
Twice was ready to kill for his friends - themselves flawed, broken people who have hurt others - because they gave him a sense of belonging. We can sympathize with them because we've seen their backstories and were presented to us as once-children, victims of the adults around them.
Hawks' support of Endeavor mimics this - he's also willing to put everything on the line for that bond and what it represents for him. But because we have less reason to sympathise with Endeavor, Hawks' actions are seen in a more negative light, I think.
Also, Hawks is the focal character of showing leadership in that transitional period between the end of the PLF war and the start of the final war - which puts him in the position of tons of plot exposition but very little self-reflection.
I'm still hoping that when Sad Girl Parade happens, it happens in Hawks' presence so both he as a character and we as readers can get some kind of a closure on the Hawks-Twice plot with a heartfelt moment of regret, as well as some kind of lesson from it.
For now, Hawks' plot feels a bit like his burnt-off wings - it's former glory is gone, but we didn't go into the territory of permanent loss - it's just kind of there, halfway, every once in a while there are moments that make us remember why we initially loved him as a character.
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Top 5 Canonical Pansexual Characters
So I recently made a post about why one of my all time favourite characters Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods is amazing pansexual representation and how the way her feelings are portrayed felt very accurate to my own. In that post I also said that there isn't enough pan rep, which is true and to prove my point I made a list of the only 5 undeniably canon pansexual characters I know of also 2 of them are from Steven Universe which is almost cheating to pull examples from. This is my ranking of all 5 of those characters based on how good they are as rep because I thought this would be a fun list to make and it's still Pride Month so yeah.
5. Willow Park (the Owl House)
So the Owl House is my favourite thing out of all the things mentioned on this list and Willow is my second favourite character here overall, but the way her being pan is handled is non existent in the show. There is nothing that even hints at it and Dana Terrace only announcing after the show seems disingenuous. I'm not too mad because the show already has plenty of queer rep that is fleshed out and sincere, but in the case of Willow it feels like Dana trying to retroactively cover all her basis. Besides this Willow is still a great character though, very likable, plant magic is cool and she has a great arc of finding her confidence and following her passion for sports.
4. Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
An incredibly complex character that people with no media literacy love to hate. The idea that you witness her redemption character arc in reverse and how you only have word of mouth and flashbacks to go off of because she's actually dead throughout the whole show is kind of genius. As pan rep though, her orientation is left pretty vague. Like we know that she loved Greg and that Pearl loved her but whether Rose reciprocated Pearl's feelings is never answered. It's implied that she might have been polyamorous with a bunch of people and that it included Pearl but then Rose decided that she want a monogamous relationship with Greg and that's why Pearly became jealous of him. But again this is never explored beyond very vague hints.
3. Sadie Miller (Steven Universe)
Most likeable human character from Steven Universe and easily one of the best side characters. I like her arc of really finding herself throughout the show like when she quits her excruciating job at the Big Doughnut and discovers her passion for singing. She also discovers who she likes throughout the show when she is shown crushing on guys, gals and nonbinary pals throughout the show, eventually settling down with her enby partner Shep. While Shep is only in one episode near the end of the show they are pretty cool and they are really cute with Sadie as a couple.
2. Finn McNamara (Life is Strange 2)
This one is kind of weird to me because while I do like Finn overall and can sympathise with his backstory, the fact that they lock his romance with Sean behind making some morally bad decisions does have some pretty messed up implications behind it. Because there are 2 romance options in Life is Strange 2 between a girl named Cassidy and a guy name Finn and they make the Cassidy romance the one that's easier to get because it just shows up when you choose not to rob the weed farm guys, meanwhile you have to choose to go with Finn to use Daniel's powers to help them with the heist. Now the weed farm guys are assholes and you do need the money and Finn does have some good motivations, but he's also thinking selfishly and putting Sean's brother Daniel in danger and teaching him to use his telekinesis powers to get what he wants. By locking the same sex romance option behind the morally bad decision you are tying queerness to inherent deviance which sucks. Having said that, Finn does have a sympathetic backstory of being homeless after being used and betrayed by his father in his own drug business and I do believe he does want to make life better for his friends. Also the way that him being pansexual specifically is explained in the game is a very accurate portrayal. When Sean asks him who he likes Finn replies with "I don't see gender, I see people", which shows that Finn is genderblind when it comes to his orientation which has always been a pretty good way of explaining what being pan is like. I appreciate Finn for being overt Pansexual rep, the only dude pansexual rep as well and he is a likeable character overall even if his romance path carries some problematic implications when you compare it to the same sex option with Cassidy.
1. Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)
One of the best protagonists from one of my favourite games. I love how nonconforming Mae is in every sense of the word. She's openly queer and refuses to conform to societies gender expectations. She's a cool cat person who plays bass in a band with her friends. Always speaks her mind, does what she wants and is unapologetically herself. Also an incredibly nice person at heart even if her bluntness and inability to read the room sometimes leads to some not great situations. A heavily flawed but still amazing character. She also happens to be pan which is very accurately portrayed throughout the story which I wrote a post about. To summarize, she explicitly states in one scene that she doesn't care about the gender of a person but she just wants to date someone that is tough and cool and "GRRR." There's a bunch of other stuff that she says throughout the game but it's also revealed that she has an ex who is a guy named Cole and she develops intimate feelings for a girl she meets at a party known as "Bombshell." Mae is an amazing character who I deeply relate to on a lot of levels and also admire for her ability to be herself and not care what other people think.
Picture sources
Mae Borowski - yorunowaltz on Tumblr
Finn McNamara - all ya faves are gay, matey on Tumblr
Sadie Miller - editsteven on Tumblr
Rose Quartz - Your Fave Loves And Supports LGBT+ People on Tumblr
Willow Park - (1) Daily LGBTQ+ Characters on Tumblr
#pride month#pansexual#pan#queer#the owl house#willow park#rose quartz#steven universe#Sadie miller#finn mcnamara#life is strange#mae borowski#night in the woods
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....hi :)
I didn't realise a whole month had gone by 😭 school started in august and I've been feeling like shit lately, so I just didnt want to come on tumblr. I was in a state where I felt like crying... pretty much all the time.
BUT I am doing much better now so I'm back!! I missed yoongi and y/n and I thought today's finally the day I read the chapters I've missed. I'm so, so sorry for disappearing out of the blue. I felt so bad about it, and I always meant to stay up and read it at night but I was so exhausted I fell asleep right away.
I'll try to come back to tumblr regularly again, though I can't promise anything. Fingers crossed!!
Now, back to my lovelies :( i missed them
(I'm going to read chapter 15 for now)
OH RIGHT THE MYSTERY MAN I nearly forgot
Oh, it's so cute how she still cares for him even though she knows nothing about him. She's worried that he might not have moved on, oh sweetheart :(((
Doyun my LOVE I missed you too mUAH <3
These dreams are starting to frustrate me too, I can only imagine how y/n feels. Like, why NOW of all times?? Leave her and yoongi in peace so they can have their love story 😭😭
EVEN DOYUN'S SHIPPING THEM PLEASE
Doyun's being practical with her advice, I like that. As a hoarder myself, i hate letting go of shit whether it's memories or physical things, but eventually, sometimes you just... have to. It's better than spending your time being frustrated about it
AHHH the world building, those little stories and fairytales I love it
Minhee :( Doyun, sweetheart... I want to hug her :((
AHSHSHS IT ISNT A LOD CHAPTER IF Y/N ISNT SHITTING ON HIM FOR HIS POSTURE it's so funny help-
I already knew yoongi was always a sweetheart, but this just confirms it. I love hearing stories of when people were kids, it's just so sweet and it tells you so much about a person
"Badmouth his family and he'll get furious" why do I feel like this is foreshadowing 💀💀 y/n's going to say some stupid shit about his mother or brother and they're gonna fight, I'm calling it
Y/N SWEETHEART CALL YOURSELF A BOTHER ONE MORE TIME I FUCKING DARE YOU just you wait until I get myself into your world I'm going to give you the biggest, sweetest hug you've ever had
Bro all the symbolism and connections with the solarian lore, it's so cool
Please why do I relate with y/n's thoughts so often. We're the same kind of messed up-
HELP THEYRE BOTH IN DENIAL
I love the way yoongi and y/ns thoughts practically mirror each other, they're always thinking similar things and they're both so cute-
Yo he finally straightened his posture. All you need to say is "yn was talking about you" and the mf straightens immediately-
NO yoongi so WHAT if she's darlarean you son of a bitch (I say this while because I can't put all my thoughts down in writing. Part of me is sympathising with him while the other part is screaming at him, my brain is a very jumbled mess doing two things at once)
It's so funny, they have such sweet thoughts then immediately try to justify them in entire paragraphs full of half-assed logic, just say you're whipped and go 😭😭
LMAO DOYUN'S RETELLING IS PURE GOKD
Hwayoung really does sound like y/n, it's so cuteRiding off towards the sun??? Y/n, babe, this is your reincarnation I'm sure of it
Y/NS NEVER CALLED HIM BY HIS NAME??? ABSOLUTELY NOT WE CANT HAVE THIS I NEED BOTH OF THEM TO GET DRUNK ASAP AND DO EMBARRASSING SHIT TOGETYER
CHANA baby great job as always <333 ill try to read chapter 16 soon when I need to procrastinate from doing my homework
I love you <33333
well, hello there!! i'm sorry you were in that mental state, but it's great to hear that you're fine now :)) don't be sorry about prioritizing your health! i definitely took a break from tumblr as well—things have been pretty hectic at school, so i haven't had as much time to look on social media
ahh yes OC has such a kind heart 😭😭 she be feeling bad for a STRANGER. but then again, is he really a stranger? she def feels guilty for not feeling anything for someone who she should be feeling something for LOL
LMAOO "Leave her and yoongi in peace so they can have their love story" PLEASE. ALSO WBK DOYUN KNOWSSS SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING
and yes i very much agree. it's nice to hold onto things, but sometimes you also have to learn to let things go. it can feel more cathartic that way
LMAO OC ALWAYS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THE GENERAL'S SHITTY ASS POSTURE
omg yes i love hearing childhood stories. i totally agree; it really says a lot about a person ngl
LMAOO NOT YOU RELATING TO OC????
IT'S NOT A SLOW BURN WITHOUT DENIAL? THAT'S LIKE STAGE ONE
eheheheheh it's gonna take a while until she calls him by his name :)))))
i don't want to keep you away from your homework! thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me!! as usual, i really really enjoyed reading through all of your reactions LOL. have a wonderful rest of your day <33333
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Contains Spoilers
It’s funny; before this book, I always told myself that I didn’t have the brain to write a ‘court politics’ kind of plot. The type of story where there’s a bunch of background machinations and double-dealing and threads that all need to tie into a greater web of intrigue. And then I gave myself a plotline that required me to do exactly that. Go, me.
I low-key hated it. Not the plotline, but the actual act of having to figure out what everyone was doing and which regions had which issues and who might reasonably be on the list of possible suspects. I have an entire sub-document of just notes I made about the various noble families of regions in Erova, what their stories were, what they thought of Crysta, and their connections to the other nobles. I had to use maybe a tenth of it, on page. But it all needed to be there in my head to start pulling the final threads of this plotline together in a way that felt natural.
Since writing this I have written several more as-yet-unpublished books that involve a heavy dose of court politics, and I still hate it, but I can’t deny that it makes for a good story. Any time there’s some kind of subterfuge going on with one character in a plotline, I need to know what’s going on in the background with everybody, because otherwise it’s super obvious that there’s only one person I’ve considered in depth.
It’s interesting to me how it becomes so clear here that Noah is floundering in the wake of ‘losing’ Daniel, and still so bull-headed in the ways that got him into this mess. He assumes that because Damien isn’t involving him in the process of hunting down Crysta’s assassin, that there is no process — rather than just realising that as the captain of the guard, Damien has his own avenues of investigation, and he really doesn’t want to have to look at Noah’s face right now. Feeling powerless and unnecessary is the very thing that led him to creating Daniel to begin with, and now that’s over he’s right back where he started in a way. But that’s not going to stop him, much to Damien’s despair.
The scene with Lena is one of my favourites too, watching somebody finally put Noah in his place the way he has so desperately needed this entire book. She listens to him, and sympathises with him, but still makes it very clear that he screwed up and was wrong to do the things he did. She doesn’t let him absolve himself with ‘doing the wrong things for the right reasons’, not entirely, and I felt like that was very necessary in Noah’s journey and growth. I didn’t want him to get away with things just because he manages to charm his way out of the anger of others.
Again, it was all about toeing the line in making a possible reconciliation with Crysta believable but also appropriately difficult. And making sure that Noah is aware that even if Crysta does forgive him because she loves him so much, the people around her will make sure he adequately regrets what he’s done. That’s what family is for, after all.
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aaaaa fuck sorry That Scene. it says so much. azula is genuinely looking out for her brother- she clearly still cares about him, in an extremely messed up way because she’s been taught that love is about being a useful pawn but like, just bc she’s Like That clearly doesn’t mean she's heartless. she is a Child. an evil one? yeah, she commits war crimes that’s a thing that is generally considered a dick move (and it’s something she can’t really, y’know, want to stop doing while she is still actively being groomed into that) but like shitty people can still care about other people. but she shows that in the same way she thinks ozai loves her (which he specifically does not love her, he sees his kids as property). manipulative headgames if you’re in her good graces, complete discardment if not. azula is a shitty person, and she’s reasonably not going to get better anytime soon (again, she kind of can’t, not in her current environment), but she’s a person, and a traumatised child. and while she puts on this mask of perfection, we are shown it’s a mask from when she first shows up- the second she cannot achieve her lofty standards, she’s angry at the world and angry at herself. “almost perfect isn’t good enough”. like, i can tell you as someone who was a lotttt like that when i was azula's age (and also kind of a shitty person to a much lesser extent, i was being a dick to people online not burning down cities) that’s a fucking lonely mindset to be in. it’s not confidence, not really- it’s more like a desperate self reassurance, to act like you’re on top of the world when you feel like you need to be absolutely perfect to not be at the bottom. it’s something i can really sympathise and relate to- I mean, specifically the mental illness parts of her character, not the war crimes. and idk i just like getting these glimpses that show that while she's absolutely not a good person, she’s still a person. she’s not inherently evil, no one is. in a better environment, she’d be a far less toxic person, and maybe she'll be able to be someday, even though it’d be far after the show ends. everyone deserves to be able to heal, no matter how horrible. it’s not naïve, but it is kind. and I appreciate that.
#atla liveblog#abuse tw#azula is so insanely well written bc like.#you can’t sum her up as a victim or a victimiser entirely#she is culpable for a lot of her actions and a lot of them she cannot feasibly be#she's deeply nuanced without falling into the need of making her a good person#bc you can be realistic sympathetic and well written while still being objectively awful
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When You Take Care Of Them When They’re Exhausted ~ Stray Kids Reaction
Bang Chan:
Your heart sunk as you walked into the studio to find Chan laid out across the top of his desk. The whole place was a mess, with empty coffee cups scattered all over, and plenty of lyric sheets screwed up on the floor.
“Chan,” you whispered as he slowly sat himself up to see who had entered the room, “you’re exhausted,” you frowned, slowly walking forwards and resting your hand against his back to try and settle him.
“I’ve got to get work done,” he tried to argue, but your head shook back across at him, “if I keep drinking coffee then I’ll be just fine, although the one that they produce in those vending machines is far from ideal.”
You knelt down in front of him, brushing his hair out of his face, “you need to come home and get some rest, you can’t spend all night here, especially when you’ve got no energy, it’s no good to anyone having you here.”
“I just wanted to get a lot of this done today Y/N.”
“I know you did,” you sympathised, taking a hold of his hand, “but sometimes these things happen, I know how tempting it is to stay here, but can you just trust me when I tell you that right now the studio isn’t the place for you?”
“Of course, I can. Now, come on let’s go home.”
Lee Know:
Your body jumped as you overheard Minho clattering around in the bedroom as you walked out of the bathroom. Despite winding down for bed, he was in so much of a rush, he could barely get himself into bed.
“Calm down,” you suggested as you walked into the room, placing your clothes at the end of your bed, “what are you trying to do? Why don’t you let me do it so that you can get underneath the duvet Minho?”
“I was trying to take all my makeup off, but every time I think that I’ve got it all off, I spot something else,” he huffed, spinning around and showing you the dirtied makeup wipe that he had been using on his face.
Immediately you walked across and took the makeup wipe out of his face, holding him in position as you wiped underneath his jawline. “You should have asked me, you’re far too tired to be doing something like this.”
“I didn’t want to burden you with such a job.”
“I wouldn’t have minded,” you assured him with a chuckle, “I know you hate being a burden, but I really do mean it when I tell you that I don’t mind helping you, I know just how hard you’re working recently.”
“You’re the best, and I am just the luckiest too.”
Changbin:
He stomped across yet again to turn the speaker off as he tried to show off to you the new routine that he had created, only for Changbin to mess up the steps yet again and leave himself frustrated once more.
“Why don’t you show me tomorrow?” You suggested, standing up from the studio floor, “you’ve run through this routine so many times today, your body is obviously trying to tell you that it’s absolutely exhausted.”
“But I really wanted to show you this,” he huffed, stretching across to take a hold of your hand, “I rushed to get it done in time for you showing up so that I could show you, I wanted you to be proud of me Y/N.”
Your head shook gently back across at him, “I’m always proud of you, even if you can’t show me your routine today. I’d be prouder of you if you came home and admitted that you need to get some rest though.”
“I can’t believe that I’m letting myself down now.”
“You’re not letting yourself down,” you interjected before he could continue speaking, “first thing tomorrow we can come back and you can show me, I’ll get up early and come by before my shift starts, how’s that?”
“I’d like that, you’re always so kind to me.”
Hyunjin:
The pen dropped out of his hand as he let go of a groan, running his hands messily through your hair as yet again he failed to find the words. The piece of paper in front of him was still empty, despite many hours of work.
“Why don’t you come back to this later?” You suggested, coming up behind him with your hands massaging softly into his shoulders, “come and get some food, clear your mind, and then you can get it done.”
“It’s a letter to stay, this should be easy for me,” he whined, tilting his head back to look up at you, “how can I tell them how I feel when right now all I can feel is tired, the only thing on my mind right now is my bed.”
You smiled back down to Hyunjin, “if that’s how you feel then why don’t you go to bed and get some sleep for a while. When you wake up, you might end up being able to think about stay and get the letter done properly.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.”
“You’re allowed a break,” you reminded him, nodding in the direction of the sofa, “and the fans would be understanding of that too if they knew how hard you were working for them, they’d want this for you too.”
“I know that you’re right, let’s go over there.”
Han:
Straight away you could tell that something wasn’t quite right with Jisung as he came home without the smile on his face, however as he walked straight across to you and hugged you, you knew just how tired he was.
“Long day?” You questioned as he nodded into the crook of your neck. Your hand moved to the back of his head, tousling gently through the strands of his hair as he gripped your frame much more tightly than he usually did.
“I’ve never danced so much in my life,” he whispered with a groggy tone in his voice, proving to you just how exhausted he was. “I usually love being at work, but today was just too much, I wanted to run away from it all.”
You sighed softly as Jisung let go of a sigh, his warm breath tickling just underneath your ear. “You’re home now,” you comforted, “why don’t you let me look after you for a while? I could run you a bath for your muscles.”
“You don’t have to look after me, I’ll be alright.”
“I don’t have to, but I want to be here for you Jisung,” you grinned in response to him, “you always take care of me when I’m exhausted, so I think it’s about time that I repay the favour for you, don’t you think?”
“I can’t say no to you, and a hot bath either.”
Felix:
Your eyes looked across the table to Felix as he stared down to the ground, barely touching the plate of food in front of him. You had tried to ignore it for some time, but eventually you knew that you had to speak up.
“What’s going on with you?” You questioned, placing your fork down onto your plate, “you’ve hardly said a word to me all night long, and usually when I make stew you devour it, now you can’t even eat a mouthful of it.”
“I’m too tired to even eat,” he admitted, taking you by surprise, “I fell asleep in the back of the car on the way home and I’ve never done that before. They worked us so hard at work today, it was too much for me Y/N.”
You stood up from the table and moved your chair around so that you were sat right by his side. “You should have told me Felix, you shouldn’t be feeling like this all by yourself, I could have helped you out.”
“You’re probably tired too, I’m not the only one.”
“I’m alright,” you assured, taking some meat onto his fork and popping it into his mouth, “I’ll help you out and then once we’ve had dinner you can go to bed, I’ll sort everything else out down here for us both.”
“I would argue with you, but I’m just too tired.
Seungmin:
Your eyes looked across as another sigh came from Seungmin as he tried to get his notes together for the rehearsal. You could tell he was struggling with fumbling hands, unable to quite get it sorted as he wanted.
“Allow me,” you spoke up, gathering his notes together, bouncing them on the counter so that they were all stressed, “I know you’re tired, why don’t you go and get some rest before your car arrives upstairs?”
“I don’t want to miss the car,” he sighed, taking the papers from you and placing them in his bag, “I barely got any sleep last night because I was awake worrying about the show, I really want for it to be perfect Y/N.”
You nodded in reply whilst offering him a smile, “it will be perfect, you’ve practiced every fine detail until you couldn’t anymore. But you can go and sleep, I promise that I will keep an eye on the clock so you’re not late.”
“Will you really do that for me? Are you sure?”
“Definitely,” you grinned, spinning him around in the direction of the staircase, “I’ll set an alarm on my phone so that I don’t forget, and then you won’t be completely exhausted when you show up at the arena either.”
“You’re the best sometimes at looking after me.”
I.N:
The sound of the front door slamming shut made your body jump as Jeongin walked into your apartment, immediately throwing himself down onto the sofa with his head in your lap in search of some affection.
“You’re freezing,” you remarked, glancing out of the window at the dark sky, “why did you work so late in such uncomfortable weather?” You frowned, moving your hand across to run it gently through his messy hair.
“I thought I would work for as long as I could, at the time I felt pretty awake,” he confessed, rolling across so that he could look up at you, “but as soon as I tried to stand up and leave the building, I knew I was spent.”
Your head nodded understandingly, “why don’t you sleep in here for a bit and I’ll try and put a meal together?” You suggested, but Jeongin’s head shook back at you. “You’ve got to eat and look after yourself.”
“I want you here with me right now, not the kitchen.”
“Then let’s order,” you proposed instead, refusing to let him neglect himself for any longer, “whatever you want, and it’s my treat too. It’s the least that I can do after you’ve been working yourself so hard.”
“I would like that a lot, thank you Y/N.”
---
Masterlist
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Can you do something where Y/N is sick and Harry has to take care of her please?
i actually had written something similar to this before so i present you a lengthy blurb;
You were pretty sure if you got invited in to hell it would feel something like this.
Hot. Sticky. But chilled.
You had come down with a concerningly high temperature. Along with the added luxuries of a deafening headache, cold sweats and an upset tummy. Your body was burning all over, as if it had just been freshly cooked in the oven but you felt colder than ice. It was a confusing juxtaposition, but there it was.
You'd called Harry, since he was in the studio recording his new music and asked him to come home early. You didn't even get to the reasoning of why he should come home before he hung up, telling you he was already vacating the premises. You hated to be that needy girlfriend who had to call about nearly everything, but Harry loved it more than anything. He loved the fact that you needed him. It gave him purpose, apparently .
You couldn't work out whether you regretted asking him to come home, or whether it was a blessing. It was a very fine line.
It was a blessing because, he looked after you like a mother would her child and made sure he stood by your side any time you found yourself lurched over a toilet. He made you chicken soup from scratch and even tested it to make sure it wasn't too hot, or salty - despite being a vegetarian himself. He even made you honey and lemon tea, which he had to run to the store for the honey. When you say run, you mean run. He didn't want to leave you alone at all, so he put on his running shoes and sprinted to the shop and back. However, it was a slight regret because of how fussy he was over you. He loved it to bits - nursing to your every need.
You truly believed you didn't deserve Harry. He was just too kind and pure for his own good. You were unarguably lucky. Laying on what felt like your death bed, didn't feel so lucky though.
It was now 10 pm and you could hear Harry turning on the alarm for downstairs, the loud beeping noise preventing you from sleep. That's all you'd done all day. Sleep. You thought it'd be more magical than it was. It was just uncomfortable though, because of how cold and hot you were.
Your much better looking other half trudged through the bedroom door within a minute of the alarm going off. He was only wearing checkered pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt and yet he made it look like Gucci Runway 2021.
The jingling of keys signalled Charlie was also present. Charlie was your 2 year old Golden Retriever. He was beautiful. When you and Harry has moved in together 2 years ago you'd managed to persuade him to get a dog. Within a few weeks of moving in you had a 5 month old puppy running around your house. He was your best friend, no doubt about it. He was also ridiculously photogenic.
"Hey Chaz!" You cooed as Charlie walked over to your side of the bed, where you were snuggling down under the sheets. You reached out your hand to give him some loving and attention. You could tell by the small smile and sparkling eyes that he was one happy boy.
"Alright, buddy. Let's leave mum alone." Harry came behind Charlie to manoeuvre him into his bed, which was in the corner of the room. It was more like a big cushion. He started to whine after being forced to leave you - having not seeing you all day. Harry was strict in keeping him downstairs so not to disturb you whilst you were sleeping.
"H it's alright, let him on the bed. He can curl up on my feet." You sympathised with Charlie, as you always did, hating to hear or see him upset. Harry was like the 'bad-cop' when it came to parenting Charlie, because you were too sweet to say no to him.
"You're one spoilt boy, aren’t you?" Harry messed around with Charlie, before telling him he could get up on the bed to see you. Charlie leapt on the bed and wandered over to give you all the kisses he could, before Harry came to calm him down - as you really didn't have the strength.
"I missed you too, Chaz." You quietly laughed, not wanting to set your headache off even more.
"You gonna let me kiss mum now?" Harry rhetorically asked, but as he came over to you Charlie laid down on you so your face was buried underneath his body. You could feel him panting with his adorable tongue out above you, as he hid you from Harry.
"Someone's jealous."
"Feeling like a bloody third wheel over here." Harry tutted and you laughed until you got hot with the movement.
"Harry? Can you move him please?" You whined as you tried to shuffle around.
"Okay Chaz. Let's let mum get some sleep, alright?" Charlie is slowly removed from you and ends up curled on top of your feet, keeping them warm for you.
Harry slipped into the covers and shuffled his way over to you, putting the back of his hand over your forehead and hissing quietly at the simple touch.
"Baby you're so hot." Harry complained.
"I know." You teased with a wink at him, taking his worry out of context and turning it into a flirting compliment.
"Oh piss off!" He chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist to bring you closer. "What am I going to do with you, baby?" Harry then planted only a few delicate kisses to your lips - not wanting to overwork you and your tired body.
••••
You woke up with drowsy eyes to find you're in bed alone.
Your throat was incredibly dry and your whole body was sticky from sweat. Your pyjamas were damp and your face looked like it'd just been drowned in a rainstorm. It was disgusting. Still, you brought the duvet up to cover yourself more, as you let out a dramatic shiver. Why was it so cold?
Mixed into the background noise you could hear the cheering of crowds and it really confused you, until you looked at the wall and noticed the football was playing on re-run on the TV. Manchester United Vs Manchester City. You hated that you knew that just from their football uniforms, but that's what you get for living with a football-crazed boyfriend.
You noticed Harry emerge from the bathroom, a washing up bowl in his arms. He came and sat down in bed, the bucket of water to his side. "What are you doing?" You quietly asked, peering up at him through tired eyes.
"Oi, you're meant to be sleep y’minx." Harry told you off.
"I can't. I'm too uncomfortable. I'm hot, but i'm cold. I also find it hard to sleep without you next to me." You huffed out in annoyance.
"My poorly baby." He leant down to kiss your forehead, "c’mere, baby." He urged.
He helped you move, seeing as your body was really weak, so you could lay down against Harry’s body. He was sat up against the headboard as you nestled down between his legs, your back to his front. It was a lot more comfortable than before - probably because Harry was closer to you. Charlie noticed the disturbance and waited for you to stop moving around, before maintaining the job of guarding your feet.
Once he was happy in his position he fell asleep again, making you jealous of his ability to do that. Especially now.
"Why's the football on?" You asked, motioning towards the TV.
"Had to keep myself awake somehow." He explained, but it only made you more confused.
"Why?"
"So I can take care of you, y’muppet." His words actually melted your heart - more than chocolate could melt on your forehead right now.
After you'd settled, Harry reached into the bucket and drained out a cloth. He made sure all the excess water was cleared before moving it away from the bucket. You hummed in appreciation when he placed it against your forehead, rotating it to the back of your neck also in order to relax and cool you. It made you realise just how hot you were.
"I think i'm dying, Harry." You groaned as the nausea came over you again. Harry kept a firm hold of the cloth on your forehead, dabbing gently and careful to not let any water drip down into your eyes.
"No you're not, baby." Harry gave you a light-hearted laugh.
"Well, living shouldn't feel as shitty as this H." You grumbled, not appreciating his lack of understanding.
“Then just let me take you to the chuffing hospital!" He exclaimed, making Charlie stir slightly.
Harry had been demanding you go to the hospital all day and all evening, but you were too stubborn to go. That, and you were terrified of hospitals - more terrified of needles and blood than anything else. However, you were starting to reach the point where you were giving in to his request, though. It was becoming unbearable to sleep and harder to breathe. You were worried for yourself.
"I don't like it." You pouted like a child, as Harry wrung the cloth through the fresh water again.
"I don't care whether you like it or not, Y/N, I really think we should go. More like need." Harry insisted and you could tell he wasn’t giving up without a fight. You didn’t want that either.
You hated how he was right.
It was only going to get worse from here, and you didn't really want to be alive when that was going you happen, so going to the hospital to get checked over and drugged up seemed like the best option to go for. The more sensible option.
"Fine." You finally accepted, Harry slinking his arms tight around your waist after discarding the cloth in to the bucket. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and planted an abundance of kisses there, your skin burning just to the touch.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He repeated in-between kisses.
•••••
It took 20 minutes to get in to the car. 20 minutes.
All because Charlie was reluctant to letting you get up and go. So Harry had to dress you into a more appropriate attire, with a dog sat on your lower body. It was then half an hour later that you were in the hospital.
The hospital was quiet at this time of night and for that you were grateful. It was obviously a night where little numbers of people were doing silly things to get themselves hurt. There was the odd patient for a minor cut injury and there were a couple of people in for burns. There was even a woman in because she accidentally superglued her hand to a bottle of superglue - ironic, but painful.
You sat patiently on Harrys lap, waiting for someone to escort you to a cubicle. You were freezing cold, to the point where your teeth were chattering - your outside body was giving off the opposite temperature. You tried to get as close to Harry's warmth as possible, pushing your body against his.
"You're alright baby." Harry shushed you, as you let out a small tremble.
"If I do die—"
"Which you won't." Harry chuckled.
"I know, but if I did I want you to know that I love you." You told him. Even though he's heard you say it a million times before, it still made his heart flutter as you spoke each word.
"I love you, baby." He kissed the side of your head. "But you're going to be just fine, so no more talking about you dying okay?"
"Why? It's only a natural thing." You pointed out.
"Sure, but I don't want to think of a world without my girl living in it. So zip it before I make you."
You never thought of dying as a world without Harry before now and it wasn't the time to start thinking about it either. It was a horrible thought and you understood why Harry didn't want you speak about it. That world would be so dark and empty and you hated thinking about it.
Harry was called to the front desk to fill in some forms for you, since your hands were too cold and shaky to do it for yourself. He accidentally wrote 'Styles' as your second name, before realising his mistake and scribbling it out.
“Shit.” Harry went red in the face and chuckled over his silly mistake. His hand was shaky and you smiled at how he got so flustered over something so simple. You rested your hand on top of his, bringing his attention to you.
“One day.” You told him and he leaned to give you a kiss on the lips. You couldn’t help but feel like his lips were a future promise to make sure he wouldn’t have to scribble out his second name the next time it was written next to yours.
The doctor saw you shortly afterwards and you thanked your lucky stars that there was no injections or removal of any blood involved, Harry sticking with you the whole time. Turns out you were suffering from a moderate fever, but the doctor said with good rest it should pass. The doctor had given Harry permission to make a big fuss over you - explaining how he was going to love it and you were going to hate it - and to make sure to come back with even the slightest worsen of the fever. You got given a prescription list of various medications that you'd need to take over the next week or so. After collecting the drugs, you were back in the car on the way home.
"Told you you weren't going to die." Harry smiled, happy to have you still by his side, whilst holding your hand over the gear console.
"Unfortunate for you, I guess."
"Will you shut you, y’bloody nuisance. You know I can't do life without you, Y/N." He spoke softly, squeezing your hand tighter to assure you that he's going nowhere.
"Same here." You smile at him and he smirks back at you with his dimple-loving smile.
"You’ll always be it for me, baby." Harry speaks, before you drift back off to sleep.
Happily.
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What is grief, if not love persevering?
Anon asked: heyyy! i love your writing sm💕 can you write angst please? make it hurt☹
Masterlist.
Summary: in which Harry is a single Dad due to losing his wife five years ago just shortly after their little love was born. Y/N has been there through it all. Harry has a rough night filled with whiskey and tears for his late wife.
A/N: this one is full of Angst and light hearted jokes to not get you too sad … sorry in advance, it’s a real tear jerker. Enjoy!!
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, talks of alcohol and drug abuse, talks of depression and very low mental health, curse words.
—
Five years.
It’s been five years since the passing of Myla Styles, the woman who granted Harry a wish he always wanted, the woman who loved him beyond all the galaxies and the woman who never saw any wrong in anyone, not even the worst of people, she always used to say “deep down, their heart is just aching” and Harry always admired that about her, she always looked on the positive side of life.
She held that same attitude as he held her hand in the hospital room, her fragile and pale body laying on the white bed as she peered up at him, oxygen tube in her nostrils and too many machines to count hooked up to her body, she was a shell of a woman, but she still had a heart of gold, the same hear Harry fell in love with when they were sixteen years of age. He hated seeing her this way, especially when their nearly one week old baby was resting in his other arm, fast asleep as her Mum clung to every bit of life she had left, but not once did her smile fade.
It all happened so fast, one day she was pushing life into the world and eight days later her life was being taken out of this world. There was complications with birth, the doctors and nurses finding undiagnosed ovarian cancer in her ovaries when they had to send her in for an emergency c section. Myla confessed she felt off, her body didn’t feel right, but she knew if something was seriously wrong, she wouldn’t risk the life of her baby getting treatment, she would rather her baby live over her. Doctors and nurses tried their best, trying to refer her to new hospitals to get stronger chemo if she wanted, but Myla refused, she told them to let her go, she was tired and she couldn’t stick around long enough to see if these treatments would work — she knew she was dying but Harry refused to believe it.
The day she left, was the day Harry felt like his whole world stopped, like the curtains were shut and he was left in a dark room with no way out. He promised Myla he would do his best to take care of their love, who they named Honey. He was dealing with the loss, Honey taking his mind off it a little and giving him reasons to pull himself from bed even on the days when he wanted to lay around and wallow in his own darkness — she pulled him out of those days, but two months later it all came crashing down on top of him.
He slipped into a wrong mind set, immediately knowing that Honey had to be taken away from him because he was living in fear he would hurt her, one day he woke up and he looked at her and just cried, he held her and he felt nothing, he didn’t even sympathise with her when she would cry for food, he felt nothing towards Honey and this scared him, terribly. Anne, his Mum took Honey in, letting Harry to relax and blow off some steam and get some help, his and Myla’s family all agreeing and saying he needed help and it wasn’t something to be ashamed about — he just lost his wife, they can’t lose him either.
Harry took the wrong route of clearing his mind and getting help, he found his therapy at the end of a bottle and a line of cocaine. He slipped into an endless spiral of week long benders and debts for drug money along with risking losing his home due to him quitting his high up job at his Fathers Law firm, he completely crashed and burned, he couldn’t live without her, he couldn’t stop his mind racing and the only way for it all to stop, and let him feel numb — was when he was drunk and high, passing out in every room of his home and in his garden, the neighbours finding him sometimes in their yard in a mess. They were the ones who got him help, they called up his family and they all rushed him off in an ambulance to get him sober and conscious again. Here is where he made the decision to sign himself into rehab, accepting the help the hospital offered and a few months later, he was out and clean, he stayed with his Mum until Honey turned one and that was the year Harry found his smile again, found his life and purpose again.
Looking back now, he doesn’t know how he ever made himself believe it was Honeys fault Myla was no longer here, he doesn’t know how he’s even alive because of all the drugs and alcohol he ingested every single night for three months solid, but he knows why everything turned around, it was his Angel looking down on him, guiding him and kicking him in the ass to get up and look after their little love, just like she asked him to do before she left, always look after himself and Honey.
It’s been five years since her passing, Harry is doing better than ever, he started working for his Dad’s company again and now he’s the president of the law firm, alongside his Dad who is the CEO, Harry being second in command and then being the CEO when his Dad retires from the firm. They kept their family home, even if it was just the two of them, they loved the home and it still felt like Myla was living here, her makeup still tucked away in her unused vanity in Harrys bedroom and her favourite paintings still hung up around the home. Harry even hired a nanny, she has been working for him for two years now, she’s even working alongside Harry in his office being his receptionist during the day and she’s Honeys afternoon and night nanny when she’s done in work and Honey is home from school.
Y/N is Honeys nanny, she takes care of the little lady and feeds her daily, even taking her to the playground and to the movies when Honey asked her could she go. She would do anything for Honey and Honey loved her endlessly, she loved the way she would allow her to eat sneaky chocolate bars after dinner every now and then and how she would always play dollies with her, kneeling down on the floor of the den and playing with the small girl until they were both in fits of laughter. Harry also adored Y/N, her passion for her job at the law firm along with her passion for looking after Honey is something he admires, she never once complains about being exhausted even though he can tell when she is, she didn’t have to think twice when Harry offered her the job as Honeys nanny, she knew the little one from her being in the office every now and then, and Honey was instantly drawn to her, the way she was so kind and the way she cared for Honey.
Tonight is a hard night for Harry, it’s Myla’s death anniversary and he’s been having a bad day, his mind racing and his heart breaking all over again, but this time he’s stronger, he’s able to power through until he could be alone and just let his emotions go, have a glass of whiskey and just cry a little flipping through old photo albums — he does this every year on her anniversary. Honey is tucked up in bed and he’s sat alone in the den on the sofa, the photo albums on his lap and his hand clutching a small glass of whiskey as he sips on it flipping through many photos from their wedding and from when they were teens and drunk in love in high school — so many memories can be attached to one person, and Harry knew one day they would be memories, but he didn’t know it would be so soon.
“Honey is fast asleep, left her door cracked open so she can shout if she- Harry? Are you okay?” Y/N stops suddenly, her eyes landing on her boss who was hunched over a photo album on the sofa, curtains drawn and the only light coming from a lamp beside a framed wedding photo of him and Myla on the table by the sofa.
“Yeah, thanks for putting her to sleep” Harry says weakly, not turning around which alarms Y/N, she’s seen him like this last year, she let him be as she was only new to it, but this year she’s determined to sit with him all night if he needs — he needs to have some company.
“That’s you?” She asks sitting next to him, Harry not moving or telling her to leave, he accepts her company as she looks down at the photo his eyes are laid upon — two teenagers at a party.
“Yeah, m’hair was a curly mess” he says with a low laugh, looking over the photo of a seventeen year old version of himself, smiling cheekily clutching a red solo cup and Myla wrapped under his other arm holding him around his waist, both their smiles wide and cheeky and their cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in their bodies.
“I think it looks cute, pitty it’s not as curly now” she says with a light laugh, watching as his ring clad fingers turn the page, taking a sip from his whiskey as he goes.
“This was our prom, she made me wear a pink fucking bow tie — absolutely hated it” he laughs, the crinkles by his eyes evident as Y/N laughs along, looking down at the curly headed teenager in a black suit, white shirt and a bright pink bow tie, matching Myla’s floor length dress next to him, a shawl over her shoulders matching as the corsage around her wrist match the pink of her dress also.
“She hated that dress a year later, she was packing up for college and I was helping her when she found it, immediately burst out laughing” he says laughing loudly, remembering back at the memory he has, Y/N beside him happy at how joyful he sounds speaking of the memories.
“Oh here we go, Frat boy Harry!” Y/N says with a loud laugh, pointing down at a shirtless twenty year old Harry, backwards cap on his head and “Myla’s Bitch!” Wrote on his stomach in paint, two beer bottles in his hands and Myla on his shoulders cheering with her hands up in a red bikini, matching his swimming trunks and baseball cap.
“Some of the best years of m’life, raging parties and no more curfews, we were two hormonal teens absolutely smitten for one another” he says shaking his head with a laugh, his eyes bright as he flicks them over the photos ranging from Harry dancing, Myla being pushed into the pool by him and Harry passed out with a mustache drawn on him with Myla next to him holding the marker with a bright smile mid laughter.
The book is filled with their college days, to their graduation day from college, their photo in their first apartment, Harry on his first day of work and Myla on hers. They took photos of small things, but at the time they meant the world to them, they were milestones in their lives and they never wanted to forget them. Harry is forever grateful that Myla had an obsession with photography, otherwise he wouldn’t have these to look back on and hopefully show Honey one day what her Mum was like, even if she’s drunk and half naked in some of them at college parties.
Harry and Y/N are in fits of laughter, tears falling from their faces as Harry explains every single memory behind each photo, one photo containing a memory of Myla at her bachelorette party, Harry coming out as a stripper and giving her a lap dance as she slaps his ass and throws money all over her husband — that one will definitely not be shown to Honey. Harry is like a whole different person when he speaks about her, his laugh becomes louder and his eyes become brighter, he even ditched his whiskey after one glass to speak about his late wife, Y/N looking at him with pure amazement and proudness of how far he’s come, how he pulled himself from a hard time and carried on life for the sake of his baby girl. He’s truly inspirational in her eyes.
“It should be easier than this by now, right? Like I shouldn’t be still grieving” he says when their laughs and stories come to a stop, their eyes hooded with sleep and faces hurting from laughing.
“What is grief, if not love persevering? You were both childhood sweethearts, you’ve loved her since you can remember and you always will, she’s your whole world, of course you’ll still grieve her, you still love her, and that’s okay” Y/N blurts out, her words quick as she blabs on while Harry watches her, a smile on his face as she explains and accepts his feelings.
“Never knew you were Shakespeare” is all he says, she rolls her eyes laughing, slapping his bicep a little as he shuts the album, tucking it away in the drawer again before turning his focus back onto Y/N beside him.
“Seriously though, never tell yourself you’ve been grieving for too long, it’s okay to grieve and cry yourself to sleep some nights, I get that, I do. You lost a person who made you who you are, but don’t forget, you still have a little one that will need you to be the person who makes her who she is”
Harry thinks she’s amazing, she’s smart and she’s so empathetic towards everyone and anyone. She has a heart of gold and she will never let anyone explain hers or anyone else’s feelings for them, she always allows people to express who they are, heck, one night she brought Harry to a gym after hours, explaining how her brother is a trainer there and he gave her the keys on the condition that she does his laundry for a month, she let Harry rage out and punch the shit out of a punching bag one night because he was so upset. She cheered him on and he was smiling as he was punching towards the end, she helped him release the emotions that built up and would of lead him back down a dark path.
She’s been an Angel sent from above, he knows Myla sent her to him because of how much they’re alike, Harry knows for sure they were sisters in a past life, their kind hearts and understanding natures alike but they have their differences, Myla was very out spoken and loved to party but Y/N is reserved and would rather stay inside with a hot chocolate and her crosswords while watching TV, but that’s another thing that Harry finds fascinating about her, she’s younger than him by eight years, when he was her age he was partying.
“Thank you Y/N, I needed this tonight” he says with a smile, her own smile on her face as she nods leaning over to rub her hand over his in a comforting manner, the pair looking at one another as they soak in their presences.
“It’s getting late, I should go” she says realising it’s nearly midnight, Harry and her need to be in work tomorrow morning and Harry has to wake up to get his little lady ready for school also. He gets a bit saddened when she says this, he secretly wants to hear more of her own college years and her own prom much like he told her earlier.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow” he says with a smile, watching as she gathers up her bag and throws it over her shoulder, car keys now in her hand as she smiles at him once more before heading for the den door. She pauses and looks back at him, his eyes meeting hers as they hold contact for a few seconds before she speaks up.
“See you tomorrow, Harry”
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles smut#harry styles au#harry styles one shot#harry styles fandom#fan fic author#singledad!harry#dad!harry#anon <3#anon ask#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles prompts#fan fiction#fan fic prompts#fan fic requests
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Say You Love Me - Jimmy Darling
Plot: Reader is heartbroken when she hears Jimmy has lost his hands, but when they're replaced he decides to make up for lost time
Word count: 3105
Warnings: Smut, Smoking, Mild violence
The words hit me like a ton of bricks when Dell brought the news. Jimmy's hands were gone. My Jimmy's hands were gone. Taken. That no good piece of shit Richard Spencer and his lies. I couldn't believe Elsa had fallen for his bollocks, but I supposed that was his game. The rest of the freaks stood in shock.
"Oh no, not Jimmy!" Ima cried over dramatically. I felt my blood boil. My skin crawled as she wailed. I felt my ears burn up with my rage. She'd been here not five minutes and here she was, caterwauling over what they had done to him. I couldn't out loud admit what I felt about Jimmy, but I sure as hell could let it be known how I felt about her. I ran at her and swung one hard punch to the side of her head. The force did not knock her over, but the shock certainly did.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I spat out the words repeatedly as I continued to hit her face and chest once she had fallen. I felt my eyes prick as I screamed at her, before Paul and Eve pulled me away. The second the anger cleared I collapsed in tears. Penny came over to me as Eve followed Dell out the tent. She held me tight as I sobbed into her chest. Ima was taken out the tent, bloodied and bruised and sniveling. I lifted my head only to spit in her direction.
"Shh, shh," Penny cooed, stroking my hair.
"What have they done to him?" I whimpered, my voice coming out far more feeble and cracked then I had ever heard it. "How's he going to survive in there without his hands?"
"I don't know," Penny told me, honestly. "I'm sure he'll find a way."
She took me back to my caravan and I poured myself a drink. I pulled an ashtray out the cupboard and lit a cigarette.
"You don't have to watch over me Penny. I'm sure you probably best go check on your man."
"I don't want to leave you like this," she admitted, sat delicately on the edge of my bed. She was still so beautiful, despite the lizard tattoo, and so kind as well. I couldn't bear to be around anyone at the minute though.
"I'll be fine," I told her softly, but when she didn't move I snapped at her. "Piss off! I don't want you here!" I hadn't meant to be so harsh, but she gathered herself up and left. I knocked back my drink in one. It burned my eyes and stung my throat but I hoped for my own sake it would help me sleep.
I went through more alcohol and more cigarettes. My ashtray overflowed. My head was spinning as I reached toward the bottom of the bottle. With my head heavy I fell over into my bed and pulled the covers round myself, only bothering to clumsily remove my shoes before shutting my eyes tight and trying to forget my thoughts. I lay there, my mind playing a reel of horrors of what could have happened to Jimmy. I pictured him beaten in a jail cell, battered to death like Meep was, or sat in despair at his own situation. I knew he couldn't have killed those women, even if he didn't, because he was here in this caravan when it happened. I knotted my fingers into my hair, reeling drunk. I was just as bad as he had been.
I eventually passed out, but kept waking, sweaty and restless after nightmares. At one point my stomach turned and I chugged up my guts off the side of my bed. I rolled back over after that and caught half an hours rest before I woke again. The night went on like that until the sun rose and Eve came in to get me up.
"Oh sweetheart," she muttered upon seeing my sorry state. She delicately picked her way to the bed past the vomit and brought me out of bed to go sit on the seat I had. I blubbered pathetically while she tossed a towel over my mess and brought me a glass of water. I was still slightly drunk, but tried to be as co-operative as possible. Eve sat next to me, pulling me in for a hug while I continued to feel like a maudlin burden on her. She took me over to have breakfast with the others, and I hiccuped my way through some bread and butter, as everyone threw pitiful stares my way. I began to sober up.
"I'm sorry, Eve. I'm sorry I'm so useless."
"Don't be silly, come with me," she directed, taking my hand and leading me away from the show ground. As we walked further away I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"It's awful nice of you to try cheer me up but I'd rather not go anywhere," I told Eve, following her through the undergrowth. We passed the spot where Ethel had ended her life, which brought back more memories of how Jimmy had been after she passed. My eyes welled, but I tried hard to keep it suppressed. I didn't want anyone to think I was being such a pathetic mess over Jimmy Darling. I didn't want to be another of the freaks that he's fucked and now loves him.
"It's Elsa who said you ought to come here," Eve explained. It was probably her plan to distract me from my wallowing, or punish me for what I did to Ima. I expected hard labour ahead of me. We reached a small barn with the doors locked. Eve produced a key, unlocking the chains. "Now listen. Elsa says its your job to look after him," she instructed pulling the door open to let me see inside. It took me a minute to realise there was a bed, a bed and a familiar face.
"Jimmy!" I gasped, rushing to his side. I burst into tears again, this time from pure relief. "Oh baby your hands!"
By his side lay two bloodied stumps wrapped in bandage. His eyes filled with tears when he looked at me.
"Princess I haven't ever seen you cry before," he told me lightheartedly, but his voice cracked and he wept. I placed my hand on his face and he leaned into my touch as I wiped his tear with my thumb. I turned back to give Eve a thank you but she had left. I turned to Jimmy.
"I thought you were gonna be gone forever," I told him, sniffling.
"Me too baby." I bent down and pressed my lips down against his. We shared a salty kiss. I felt him flinch hard and cut off the kiss when he lifted his arm hold me. He immediately broke down in tears again. "I'm never going to be able to hold you again," he whimpered, and I sensed that there was certainly more to it than that. It stung to see him in such a sorry state.
"Oh Jimmy don't upset yourself," I tried to comfort him. "I have to change your bandages. Okay?" He shook his head. "I let you do it for me," I reminded him.
"Well you have no fucking idea how much it hurts," he snapped. I understood his frustration, but I couldn't help but pull away, hurt. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry (y/n), I just... I just don't know what I'm gonna do."
"Hold, still." I ran my hand down his arm slowly until I reached the bandage trying to cause minimum pain. I unwrapped it slowly, Jimmy putting on a brave face. As I pulled the bloodied part away from his wound he flinched and gritted his teeth. "This is really gonna sting," I warned as I poured alcohol onto cotton to clean his injury. He bit down on his pillow and nodded for me to go ahead. I wiped it as gently as I could and tried to ignore his muffled howl. "I'm sorry." He let the pillow from his teeth.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, doll," he assured, breathless from pain. I took his stump in my hands, wrapping it in bandage.
"I tried to tell the police it wasn't you, but they wouldn't listen."
"It might have been me, I was there, I was blind drunk."
"It wasn't, Jimmy. You were in my caravan. You said you loved me."
"I do." He looked at me sincerely. I avoided his eye, focusing my attention back to binding up his arm.
"You don't Jimmy, you love Maggie, you only wanted me because you were scared she might leave you and you thought I wouldn't." I sighed.
"That's not true, I kept coming back because I love you." Tears pricked my eyes again. He probably thought Maggie had left and was settling for me. I tied off the bandage and he raised his arm up to my face, sucking in his breath sharply as his stump brushed my cheek. "And you love me too."
"No, I don't," I lied. He watched me, his stare breaking me apart like it always had.
"Paul came by before you. I haven't seen you cry once before, (y/n), but he said you have been tearful all morning. He also told me about Ima," he teased, smugly. I didn't know it was possible to sound both so weak and so smug at the same time.
"I was worried, it doesn't mean-"
"Please just tell me it does. Just tell me you love me, it's all I ever wanted to hear." I let out a breath I never realised I was holding.
"I love you, Jimmy Darling." He smiled at me. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before taking a few draws. I put it between his lips for him so he could take a puff.
"Look at me," he complained. "Can't even hold my own cigarette."
"Hush now Jimmy. Things will take time," I reassured him, to little effect. We shared the rest of the cigarette and I moved round to change the bandage on the other side. Jimmy didn't speak until I'd finished and stood up to leave.
"Thank you, (y/n)," he said sincerely. I went back to his bedside, leaned down a pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
"I'll be here to change your bandages again tomorrow," I told him softly.
Although Elsa had not left, she had still sold the show to Chester, who although had a definite screw loose, seemed harmless enough. He was bright, chirpy and certainly not bossy. His odd qualities only came from the wooden ventriloquist doll he was so attached to. The twins seemed quite smitten with him, and, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were screwing him.
I was civil with Maggie after her trickery, especially knowing how difficult the world could be, but Jimmy had far from forgiven her. This was a hard situation to negotiate. She had asked about him, and I knew she cared, but Jimmy was set in his hatred of her. It was hard to sympathise with a woman who had been part in a scheme resulting in the death of Ma Petite and the loss of Jimmy's hands. For the most part I told the truth. Jimmy was not going to soften any time soon.
I apologised to Ima too, hard as it was. She didn't really take my apology, but it hardly bothered me. It was mainly for the sake of the others, and to keep the peace.
That night, Dell was shot. He, it turned out, had been the one to kill Ma Petite. I felt bad for his death. As shitty as his actions were, I always felt he was trying his hardest for a better life. Still, killing another freak was unforgivable, and Ma Petite was innocence itself. It was my job to deliver the news to Jimmy, which was horrible.
"He was my father!"
"I know Jimmy! I'm sorry!"
"Don't you dare start apologising for those murderers, (y/n)!"
"Jimmy he killed Ma Petite!" I ended up snapping. "He killed an innocent and he paid the price." Jimmy broke down into tears again, and I ended up wrapping my arms around him.
"I'm losing everything."
"Come on, baby. It hurts to see you cry so much," I mumbled into his neck. He sobbed into my shoulder.
"Don't ever leave me (y/n). Don't ever break my heart.”
The day Jimmy's hands were ready was the happiest I had seen him in months. I came into the barn again to see him, when I spotted him sat on the bed. The moment he saw me he stood up and rushed toward me. I opened my arms to him and he caught me in his grasp, lifting me off my toes. He kissed me, properly. His dark eyes seemed full of hope. I took his arms from around me and held one of his new hands in mine. Mr. Dolcefino had created perfect wooden hands, still with Jimmy's finger shapes. They were works of art.
"They're beautiful, baby," I told him, smiling.
"They ain't half as functional as they were, but my hands have never looked so good."
"Your hands always looked good." I kissed him again, harder this time. He pulled me flush against him.
"It kills me I can't touch you the same baby," he told me, running his wrists down my side in place of his hands.
"I don't care, Jimmy. I love you," I said, and it was the first time I'd said it since he asked me to. He pulled me in again for another kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth and pushing the backs of my knees against the bed. "Easy tiger," I teased.
"I haven't held you in so long (y/n)," he replied, pushing himself even closer to me, my body flush with his own. I felt him, hard against my thigh. I kissed him again, hard, and let him push me onto the bed, his own weight on top of mine. He began to nip at my neck, and I sighed contentedly. He went to cup my breast with his hand, but came short when he realised his hands could not move the same, could not feel. "Baby, I'm sorry," he apologised, sitting up on his knees and pulling away. I sat up with him and put my hands around his neck, fiddling with the hair at its nape.
"You aren't giving up that easy are you?" I jibed. "After all, you have a mouth in perfect working order." He grinned at me, pulling me into another hungry kiss. He nibbled down my neck again.
"I'm afraid you're going to have to undress yourself, doll." I did as instructed, pulling my jumper over my head while Jimmy watched. He returned to kissing my collarbone as I undid my bra. His kisses travelled over my breasts, wooden hand against my side. He kissed along my chest, eventually moving to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it as I sighed. He bit down on it and I yelped, scolding him lightly by giving him a little slap on the arm. He grinned again at my reaction, before kissing his way down my sternum. He stopped for a second, giving me an opportunity to pull my trousers off for him. I went to pull my underwear down but he stopped me, instead using his teeth to pull them down and bringing them the rest of the way with his prosthetic. I laughed at his actions, until he buried his face into my heat, licking over my clit again and again. I felt myself get quickly wetter as he flicked his tongue up my slit. His attention went back to my clit, circling it as I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling at it and moaning as I did. I felt my cheeks flush when he came back up the bed to kiss me again, my taste still on his lips. "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in these pants, do you think you can help doll?" he asked. I happily obliged.
"Of course baby." I pulled his shirt of his shoulders slowly, the removed his vest, taking my time to run my hands all across his chest and take it all in again. I ran my hand over his stomach and reached to palm him through his trousers. He groaned and closed his eyes. Then I took off the trousers, getting him to sit up in order to help me. I could see the shame in his eyes so as soon as they were off I kissed him hard and put my hands into his pants, stroking his cock. He let out the most delicious moan into the kiss. After a minute of this we were both desperate for it so I bit his earlobe and pulled his cock out of his pants, guiding it to the right place. He pushed into me slowly.
"Fuck," he swore, before capturing my mouth with his and thrusting again. I let out another moan into his mouth as he bit down hard on my lip. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, speeding up his thrusts with considerable lack of control. It had been a while since we had sex, so the desperation in his movements was very apparent. He let out the most beautiful gasps and moans, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair as he continued to nip and suck at my collarbone. I tugged at his brown curls and he groaned breathily. He recaptured my lips in his own and I let out a moan as he pushed deeper into me.
"Jimmy," I panted into his ear, before pulling on his earlobe with my teeth. He let out what was almost a growl and fucked me even harder. I felt myself drawing closer to finishing and let out a desperate string of swears.
“Come on, baby doll, fuckin finish for me,” Jimmy murmured deeply, kissing along my jaw and neck before biting down on my collarbone. I let out a gasp as I felt a wave of pleasure over me, clenching around him and digging my nails into his back. He kept going, his thrusts sloppy, coaxing me through my orgasm until a faltering moan fell from his lips and he pulled out, spilling his load onto my stomach. He lay on top of me, spent, and I pulled my fingers through his hair, running my nails against his scalp.
“You really love me?” I asked, as his hot breath brushed my neck. Before he answered he pressed soft kisses against my shoulder.
“Of course I do, doll face.”
#jimmy darling#jimmy darling smut#jimmy darling x reader#ahs smut#ahs freakshow#ahs x reader#evan peters#evan peters x reader#american horror story
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Forgotten Love - part six: no longer one of them
chapter summary: the truth will set you free, if it doesn't kill you first. The team interrogates you and your past.
pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
words: 2.3k
warnings: language, mentions of torture, needles
A/N: sorry it's been a while but finally got around to finishing this chapter. Pls like, comment and reblog as always! :)🤍
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You look around the blank, boxy room. Then down at your hands, where your wrists are chained to a table. Then down at your ankles, where they are chained to the chair you’re sitting on. It’s been at least thirty minutes since you were left in here by yourself, struggling in your restraints. Your breathing becomes rugged and you can’t hold down the panic rising within, no matter how hard you try. Even closing your eyes, all you see are them. In a sudden rush of emotion you manage to yank yourself free from each chain and stand, pushing the chair from behind you and sending flying back, hitting the wall and crashing to the floor. You look up to the wall opposite, noticing your disheveled reflection in the mirror, fists balled up tight. A one-way mirror, no doubt.
“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeat to yourself. Your hands fly to your hair, raking through it and grabbing while your chest heaves and your head spins. Steadying yourself with the table for a moment to calm yourself as best you can. You tread carefully towards the door but stop in your tracks, physically frozen in place as you try and place how many footsteps are heading towards you now.
There are seven of them. Three, you notice, stay at the door whilst the others carry on, presumably to whatever room is behind that mirror.
The door opens.
“What in the-” Fury begins, seeing you standing before him and noticing the mess you’d left. “Let me see your hands.” He brings up a gun that seems to glare straight at you, as if to say there’s no getting out of this. So, you show your hands.
Tony and Nat are behind him and Natasha walks to the chair that is on its side, picks it up and sets it back down at the table, then motions stoically for you to sit back down.
“Take a seat. We’re gonna be here for a while. And before you try anything stupid, don’t.” Fury states. You sit back down and suddenly notice the dryness of your mouth and throat.
The three of them now stand before you, looming over like the shadows of your past.
“There’s a lot to unpack here, so I suggest we start with whatever the hell just happened upstairs.” Tony begins. His face is forbidding, as are the others, and his arms are crossed.
You remain silent.
“This is the part where you start talking.” Your gaze shifts to meet a single, harsh eye. God knows he only needs one to get the job done.
“I-”
“What Barnes said. Was it true? Did you help torture him as the Winter Soldier?” Natasha’s voice is demanding, needing.
“No.” You say, finally mustering up a word. “Well, yes. No and yes.”
“What do you mean no and yes?” Fury leans forward on the table.
“Not exactly.”
“Cut the crap. Did you, at any point, help HYDRA in torturing Bucky?”
Silence. Then,
“Yes.” It came out as a broken whisper.
Behind the glass, Bucky takes in a sharp breath. Deep down he knew it was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it not to be.
Someone begins walking towards the door from the opposite room. Steve enters and switches out with Tony. Steve looks more disappointed than anything, which makes your heart ache more.
“Why? Why were you with them?”
“Steve-”
“Just answer the question.” Steve closes his eyes in exasperation, letting his head fall forward. He can barely look at you.
“I was alone, back when I joined.” You begin. “At the time I was sheltering in an abandoned warehouse that was half blown to pieces. They found me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. So they took me in, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, a proper one. I thought they were good people, at first.” You’re looking down at your lap as you speak, not wanting to risk looking anyone in the eye.
“And how do we know this isn’t some bullshit story you’ve made up to get us to sympathise with you?” Nat chimes in, brows knit together by the thread of betrayal.
“For all we know you could still be one of them. Feeding everything back to them since you got here. Is that what you’ve been doing? Gaining our trust in order to have inside information? This whole goddamn time.” Steve is angry. More than you’ve seen him before. But it’s not the kind of anger that him and Tony might share when the other gets on their nerves, no. This anger is the one that comes from deep within you, that only shows when you’ve been stabbed deep enough in the back for it to come seeping out all crimson red.
“No, it’s not like that. I’m done with HYDRA, I promise.”
“Well that promise doesn’t mean much to us.” Fury comments.
“I know. But it’s all I have.”
Fury holds his fingers up to his ear. “Hill, bring it in.” A moment after Fury’s request she is heading round and into the room. She passes him a folded piece of paper.
“This,” he begins to unfold it. “was surprisingly easy to find. Inside a book? Really?” He leans onto the table and slides the paper forwards. You are now face to face with yourself; the file page you'd retrieved from the first mission. You rub your hands together, as if hoping for a genie to appear so you could wish for this to have never happened.
“That’s not me. Well, it is me. But it’s not who I am. The person you’ve come to know since I joined this team is the real me. I’m not that person.” You look back down at the photograph of your deadened self. “Anymore.”
“Care to explain?” Nat asks.
“After a while with HYDRA, I realised that some others from the rooms near me were being taken somewhere else. I didn’t know where, though; they wouldn’t tell us. Eventually I was the only one left, and none of the others had come back yet.” Your throat is dryer than ever. “They took me to a room. A dark one. And they sat me in a chair. Strapped me down. I could hear some screams from neighbouring rooms but they dismissed it, said people were hurt and they were treating them. They were lying, of course, but at the time I was naive enough to believe them. They stuck a needle in my arm and released an acidically blue liquid into my bloodstream. At first it was excruciating. It felt as though someone was searing my veins as it moved from my arm and into my chest, then up my neck and down my torso. Then it was everywhere. My mind was so clouded with pain, until it just… stopped. I felt numb. And after that, HYDRA turned me into their own personal weapon. Because I was their success. I was the one who survived. They had used a different serum on all twelve of us, trying to find one that worked. And it finally did. At first I felt special to have been the one that survived. Proud, even. But soon it turned into something more sinister, and I realised how lucky the others were…”
The silence in the room is deafening. To a point where you have to start shuffling in your seat just to rid it. It’s hard to gage anyone’s emotions at this point. Natasha leaves, silently, without glancing back. Though she doesn’t head towards the others behind the mirror, she walks away in the opposite direction. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest with the thought of having hurt her this much.
“So, you’re telling me, the serum we found on that mission last week hasn’t just been created? They’d already figured it out and used it on you?” Steve’s question is spoken as more of a statement, everyone already knowing the answer.
“Yes.” You whisper.
“And that’s where these powers came from? The serum?”
“Yes.”
“Another supersoldier. ‘Cause we don’t have enough of those.” Fury scoffs. “And why do they always have to come from HYDRA?”
“The serum made you stronger and faster. But it doesn’t explain your extra power. Where did that come from?” Steve interrogates.
“The serum as well.” Your voice is weak and strained by guilt as you speak. “When they were recreating it they also… experimented with it. Once they knew they perfected the original serum they started tampering with additional elements and quantities. It wasn’t until me when one of them worked. The serum they’d created managed to grip on to certain sensory nerves and cells and increased the sensitivity, or… something about exteroreceptors, maybe? I can’t exactly remember the science of it all-”
“So, just like that, we’re supposed to trust you?” Steve cuts you off, his vigilant tone as unnerving as his stare.
“Send Barnes in.” Fury motions to agent Hill, who exits the room, only to return with him: the one person you thought could get you out of this situation.
Bucky keeps his head down, making sure to avoid any eye contact. You desperately want to yell the truth at everyone - the whole truth - but you know that wouldn’t be wise. Especially since they’re already sceptical of everything that’s coming from your deceiving lips. They would never believe that. He would never believe it.
Not until he remembers it all.
“Bucky, do you know if this is the truth?” Hill cautiously asks him.
“No.”
“No, you don’t know, or no, it isn’t the truth?” Fury inquires.
“No, I don’t know.” He states, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. You can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s evident that these newly found memories haven’t treated him well. Especially since he’d started to take a liking to you, which he never let be known. He didn’t know what to make of it when he began to feel a strange, but strong, pull towards you. As if there was some invisible string that was pulling, connecting, the two of you together.
It frayed and snapped as soon as he remembered.
But knowing that he’d felt it in the first place makes his head hurt all the more.
“So, number 12, what is your real name?” Fury looks straight into your eyes, almost burning through your skull with his intensity.
“And don’t even think about lying to us again.” Steve snarls. You hesitate for a moment, drawing heavy breaths.
“My real name- my real name is Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Let’s put it to the test, shall we?” Fury proposes.
A few moments later, you’re being hooked up to a lie detector by Bruce. He then sits diagonal to you with the polygraph machine in front of him.
“We’re set.” He states.
“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?” Tony is now back in the room. A full house.
They don’t hesitate with the questions, getting straight into it, yes or no.
“Before you joined this team, were you a HYDRA agent?” Hill begins with. There is no way for you to escape this, no stopping the rollercoaster from plunging down as you reach the top.
“Yes.”
“An assassin?”
“Yes.”
“Do you still work for them?” Steve’s turn.
“No.”
“Do you still associate yourself with them in any way?”
“No.”
“Are you in contact with them?” Tony asks.
“No.”
“Do you plan on going back to them? Becoming one of them again?” Steve begins again.
“No.” You answer through gritted teeth now.
“Bruce?” Fury chimes in, and all heads turn to him, as he reads the coloured lines on the paper.
“She’s telling the truth so far.” He confirms.
The questions, the interrogating, it continues for several more minutes. Questions like: Are you loyal to this team? Are you really here to make good of your past? Is that life with HYDRA over for good?
Yes, yes, and yes.
“Did you assist in the torture of a Seargent James Barnes whilst you were a part of HYDRA?” Fury reads from a sheet, making sure to leave no stone unturned. A stone that it feels as if he just threw at your stomach. You force your eyes upwards and to Bucky’s, brimming with sadness.
“Yes.” Your answer feels so sour against your tongue. You pry your eyes away and they fall to the floor once more.
“All true.” Bruce confirms once more.
“But-”
“Last question.” Fury walks forward. “How did you manage to get through our system, without us finding any trace of who you really are?” He speaks slowly, deeply, sounding like he has gravel in his throat.
“The old me was classed as dead. I had nothing to my name, not even a life. And HYDRA didn’t make it their first priority to give me one. So, technically I was no one. It wasn’t that hard to create a completely new person. A clean slate, if you will.”
Everyone’s faces are stern, yet utterly mindfucked. No one knows what to think. Fury stands tall and motions his head to the door whilst looking at the others. Everyone exits the room in a disappointed silence.
Bucky is the last to leave. He stands, with his arms crossed and brows furrowed, directly in front of where you sit. The prolonged eye-contact is laced with an unknown, but oddly familiar, tension.
“Bucky, I-” As soon as you begin to speak he follows after the others and shuts and locks the door behind him.
Once again, you’re left with just yourself in the vacant room, besides the company of the chair, table and your infinite, anxiety-ridden thoughts of what the hell is going to happen to you now.
•••
Taglist:
@buckysjuicyplums @901seconds @walkwithfluffyangels @infernal-fire @ohashley101 @mrs-fanfiction-2001 @buckys2thicc @freigeistundanderes
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes series#sebastian stan#the winter soldier#avengers#avengers fic#marvel#marvel fic#avengers x reader#steve rogers#captain america#tony stark#natasha romanoff#iron man#black widow#fatws#bruce banner#nick fury#maria hill#forgotten love#forgotten love series
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Fictober #15: The Light In His Eyes
Post Series
“Hey Alexis,” Kate called out, standing in the doorway of her stepdaughter's room. “You got a second?”
“Sure Kate, come in,” Alexis made room on the bed for Kate to sit, offering a hand to help the pregnant woman maintain her balance as she did so.
“Thanks,” Kate smiled at her, feeling self-conscious about needing the help but Alexis didn’t make a big deal out of it.
“What’s up?” Alexis asked.
“I need your help,” Kate told her.
Alexis smiled. “Sure, everything okay?”
“I messed up,” Kate admitted. “Your Dad wasn’t really excited for Halloween this year… and I get that. The first Halloween after my... “ She still couldn’t say shooting to Castle or Alexis, saw what that word could do to them. “But it’s your Dad’s favourite time of the year. Well, except for Christmas.”
Alexis nodded. She knew they’d been arguing over something but she kept out of it. As long as they mended it themselves, no separations or anyone leaving then she was staying out of it.
“Kate…”
“He asked me to go to Pattersons party with him,” Kate told her. “And I… I feel like a whale.” She admitted, pointing at her very pregnant stomach.
Alexis sympathised with her. “And you don’t want to dress up.”
Kate winced. “See, I wish I’d put it that way.” She sighed. “I know I’ve been… a lot to deal with lately. I’m sorry you and your Dad are putting up with these hormones. But can you please help me plan something to make it up to him?”
Alexis smiled. Kate was trying so hard to recover, deal with pregnancy and they were all getting their bearings around this and she could see the woman felt guilty.
“Kate, Dad loves you,” Alexis reminded her. “But you know what he’s like when he gets an idea. I have a hard time talking him out of things half the time too.”
Kate smiled. “That’s sweet. But I think I need to fix this one.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Can you help me find something to wear?” Kate asked. “I’d normally ask Lanie but I was kind of hoping you might agree to a family thing. I think that would help him get past this nervousness.”
Alexis smiled. “Okay, I’m in.”
“I owe you,” Kate smiled.
“Give me a sister and we’ll call it even,” Alexis teased. “Maybe we could do movie night. Still dress up, eat candy but you’ll be more comfortable that way if you don’t want to go to this party.”
“Working on that first part,” Kate smirked. “Thanks Alexis. I don’t even know why your Dad wants to go. I practically had to drag him away from Patterson last time when they devolved into a heated debate over quality versus quantity.”
Alexis laughed. “Have I ever mentioned how glad I am you took over bailing him out at those parties?”
Kate grinned. She really adored Alexis and the last few months they’d finally had a chance to grow closer, the red head excited for the baby in a way Kate hadn't really expected. She had been a rock for Kate and for Castle through everything lately.
“I might have to tag you back in next time,” Kate teased.
Alexis grabbed her laptop and the two got comfortable, searching websites for something that would bring a smile to Castle’s face.
Alexis started laughing. “I know he would enjoy this,” Alexis pointed at a pumpkin dress for herself. “He already fills my room with pumpkins this time of year. I guess I could dress up for him.”
Kate smiled. She could picture the light in his eyes if Alexis did that for him.
“Oh, look, maternity,” Alexis gasped. “Pumpkin for the new pumpkin.”
Kate cringed. “I have always hate the color orange. Besides, you will always be his one and only pumpkin. Your sister will never change that.”
“I know,” Alexis nodded. It was something she’d talked to him about. A lot. Both of them never wanted Alexis to feel like she wasn’t part of this family. She was important to Kate and would always be Castle’s baby. “Consider it my first matching costume with my sister. Look they do it in black.”
Kate looked and smiled. “I actually kind of like that. It looks…”
“You can say sexy, Kate,” Alexis laughed.
“Order them,” Kate told her. “Let me get my card.”
She was actually looking forward to Halloween herself now.
Prompt: “I always hated the colour orange”
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Top 5 Canonical Pansexual Characters
So I recently made a post about why one of my all time favourite characters Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods is amazing pansexual representation and how the way her feelings are portrayed felt very accurate to my own. In that post I also said that there isn't enough pan rep, which is true and to prove my point I made a list of the only 5 undeniably canon pansexual characters I know of also 2 of them are from Steven Universe which is almost cheating to pull examples from. This is my ranking of all 5 of those characters based on how good they are as rep because I thought this would be a fun list to make and it's still Pride Month so yeah.
5. Willow Park (the Owl House)
So the Owl House is my favourite thing out of all the things mentioned on this list and Willow is my second favourite character here overall, but the way her being pan is handled is non existent in the show. There is nothing that even hints at it and Dana Terrace only announcing after the show seems disingenuous. I'm not too mad because the show already has plenty of queer rep that is fleshed out and sincere, but in the case of Willow it feels like Dana trying to retroactively cover all her basis. Besides this Willow is still a great character though, very likable, plant magic is cool and she has a great arc of finding her confidence and following her passion for sports.
4. Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
An incredibly complex character that people with no media literacy love to hate. The idea that you witness her redemption character arc in reverse and how you only have word of mouth and flashbacks to go off of because she's actually dead throughout the whole show is kind of genius. As pan rep though, her orientation is left pretty vague. Like we know that she loved Greg and that Pearl loved her but whether Rose reciprocated Pearl's feelings is never answered. It's implied that she might have been polyamorous with a bunch of people and that it included Pearl but then Rose decided that she want a monogamous relationship with Greg and that's why Pearly became jealous of him. But again this is never explored beyond very vague hints.
3. Sadie Miller (Steven Universe)
Most likeable human character from Steven Universe and easily one of the best side characters. I like her arc of really finding herself throughout the show like when she quits her excruciating job at the Big Doughnut and discovers her passion for singing. She also discovers who she likes throughout the show when she is shown crushing on guys, gals and nonbinary pals throughout the show, eventually settling down with her enby partner Shep. While Shep is only in one episode near the end of the show they are pretty cool and they are really cute with Sadie as a couple.
2. Finn McNamara (Life is Strange 2)
This one is kind of weird to me because while I do like Finn overall and can sympathise with his backstory, the fact that they lock his romance with Sean behind making some morally bad decisions does have some pretty messed up implications behind it. Because there are 2 romance options in Life is Strange 2 between a girl named Cassidy and a guy name Finn and they make the Cassidy romance the one that's easier to get because it just shows up when you choose not to rob the weed farm guys, meanwhile you have to choose to go with Finn to use Daniel's powers to help them with the heist. Now the weed farm guys are assholes and you do need the money and Finn does have some good motivations, but he's also thinking selfishly and putting Sean's brother Daniel in danger and teaching him to use his telekinesis powers to get what he wants. By locking the same sex romance option behind the morally bad decision you are tying queerness to inherent deviance which sucks. Having said that, Finn does have a sympathetic backstory of being homeless after being used and betrayed by his father in his own drug business and I do believe he does want to make life better for his friends. Also the way that him being pansexual specifically is explained in the game is a very accurate portrayal. When Sean asks him who he likes Finn replies with "I don't see gender, I see people", which shows that Finn is genderblind when it comes to his orientation which has always been a pretty good way of explaining what being pan is like. I appreciate Finn for being overt Pansexual rep, the only dude pansexual rep as well and he is a likeable character overall even if his romance path carries some problematic implications when you compare it to the same sex option with Cassidy.
Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)
One of the best protagonists from one of my favourite games. I love how nonconforming Mae is in every sense of the word. She's openly queer and refuses to conform to societies gender expectations. She's a cool cat person who plays bass in a band with her friends. Always speaks her mind, does what she wants and is unapologetically herself. Also an incredibly nice person at heart even if her bluntness and inability to read the room sometimes leads to some not great situations. A heavily flawed but still amazing character. She also happens to be pan which is very accurately portrayed throughout the story which I wrote a post about. To summarize, she explicitly states in one scene that she doesn't care about the gender of a person but she just wants to date someone that is tough and cool and "GRRR." There's a bunch of other stuff that she says throughout the game but it's also revealed that she has an ex who is a guy named Cole and she develops intimate feelings for a girl she meets at a party known as "Bombshell." Mae is an amazing character who I deeply relate to on a lot of levels and also admire for her ability to be herself and not care what other people think.
Reposting this to fight back against Tumblr's homophobic attack on my account that got my last post labelled as "mature." You are not going to outlaw my existence. Pansexual people exist, we derserve to exist just as much as the straights and we will fight back against your fascist regime. I will repost this as many times as I need to show them that their genocide tactics will not succeed.
21/07/2023 edit: Tumblr finally did the right thing and removed the Mature label from the original post but I'm still keeping this up as a reminder that they did it in the first place and that even this site has issues with trying to erase the existence of queer people. We don't deserve to be hidden and labelled as not safe for public eyes.
Picture sources
Mae Borowski - yorunowaltz on Tumblr
Finn McNamara - all ya faves are gay, matey on Tumblr
Sadie Miller - editsteven on Tumblr
Rose Quartz - Your Fave Loves And Supports LGBT+ People on Tumblr
Willow Park - (1) Daily LGBTQ+ Characters on Tumblr
#pansexual#queer#pride month#tumblr is panphobic#tumblr is queerphobic#the owl house#willow park#night in the woods#mae borowski#steven universe#rose quartz#sadie miller#life is strange#finn mcnamara
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Don’t Do It For Me - h.s. (part 3)
The one where Harry is a friend in need and - can they still be called complications? (1.5k)
I don't even know anymore - is this a short story now? A series of one-shots? All I know is that there will be a part 4.
Part 2
So, you thought you could be back in London and not tell me?
Men can be quite simple creatures sometimes, they really can. I had mostly taken a break from my phone whilst I was away. I favoured taking a camera out and about and kept my phone safe and hidden in my bag. I have gotten notifications of reactions or replies to my Instagram stories but ignored all of them in favour of absorbing the benefits of being away from London, the UK and work.
I had stepped foot back in Heathrow only five hours prior to the text - he really did have eyes everywhere. How he did it was beyond me. A man with a schedule that was so tight it almost overlapped. He has expressed before how the busier he was, the more productive he felt which, was all good and well, until the bags under his eyes were so heavy and sunken that he looked one meeting away from dropping.
I could sympathise - the idea of work being an escape from your life-questioning thoughts is quite appealing when you have a career that resembles your dreams as closely as possible. Throwing myself into a project that gives me freedom of creativity, interactions with interesting characters and puts me behind a camera has a therapeutic effect on my mind. The same must happen for him.
As much of a golden boy and all-around loved guy he was, he certainly had his fatal flaws, one of which was his lack of ability in the prioritising area. He absolutely adores his family and friends, but present the fella with an interesting project and he gets tunnel vision and that is all he can think about. He doesn't just hide behind his job - he becomes his job.
I wasn't aware I had to go through passport control with you too, H. Heathrow was a traumatic enough experience for my little brain. But yeah! Back on British soil!
His call came pretty soon after my text was read - one greeting led to a quick “you need to tell me everything about home” and “I’ll grab some food and come over so we can catch up!” and next thing I knew, I was opening my front door and was greeted with a happy, cheesy face. A one-armed hug and a flick to my chin led him to squeeze past me and towards the living room.
He, as a person, baffled me. The way he so effortlessly made himself at home and started unpacking the food, all the while rambling about the restaurant being skimpy with veggies in their dishes, but the spices blend makes up for it - so he just orders extra greens. Such a boring opinion that still made me smile fondly at his drawled nonsense.
“So! How much did you miss me?” his exaggerated smile was flashed at me. “Must’ve been torture being away from me for such a long time.”
“Barely made it through,” I played along. “The scenery did make up for it, though.”
“Upstaged by a gorgeous view,” he tutted with faux disapproval. “Seriously though, when can I see your pictures?”
“And here I was, thinking you were here to catch up with your dearest friend.” I scoffed with a slight roll of my eyes. He glanced my way, pausing with a spring roll mid-air and just raised his eyebrows, giving me a smug look. He brought the roll to his mouth, maintaining eye contact whilst he crunched his way through a bite.
“And here I was, thinking you would jump my bones the second I walked through your door.” His scoff was playful and the quirk of his lips was an easy hint at his joking mood.
All I could do was smile at him - that man, with his rights and wrongs, with his wit, his cheekiness, his looks, his talent, his moments that warrant wide eyes and a question of “what in the actual hell?”, his soft demeanour contrasted with his “climbing the walls” bouts of uncontainable energy, the plethora of conversations we can carry, his face, his hands, his neck. That man right there, I did want to jump his bones.
“So,” I tried to think of how to word the question I was dying to ask. “How’s Jess?”
“Hm,” He rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, interlocking his fingers on his tummy. “Spoke to her the day you left.”
I stayed silent for a moment, waiting for him to elaborate but, ever the tease he was, he kept the momentum going and smiled slightly. “And?”
“And,” He purposefully prolonged the sound, only to spit out the rest of the sentence quickly. “We talked about taking a break to figure things out.”
I have never been known to have a strong poker face but I could usually mask my emotions and reactions to a certain extent - this time I think he could hear my eyes rolling.
“Well, that’s different, isn’t it?” My sentence was heavily accentuated by sarcasm.
“I know you don’t believe in breaks,” He sounded bored and done with the direction the conversation was taking. “And neither do I.” He chose that moment to lull his head to the side and make eye contact with me.
I pursed my lips to the side, feeling the want to wrap myself around him dwindle with each word said out loud. I should’ve seen it coming - he said he was ready to end a seemingly perfect relationship just after he strayed from his path. The fact that I even believed him was quite an insult to my own intelligence.
“I..” Words seemed to fail me in that exact instant, “don’t even know what to say, if I’m being honest.”
“Not much for you to say when that conversation ended with us breaking up.” His monotonous tone was quite disorienting, giving the weight of the words he spoke.
“Huh?”, was all I could come up with.
He heaved a heavy sigh, shuffling on the couch and sitting up straight. “I told you, I didn’t see it working with Jess anymore - I wasn’t going to mess her around any more than I already did.” His pressed lips and frowned eyebrows gave him a gloom look. “I had known, from the moment I met with her to talk, that it was going to end with us breaking up.”
I just kept staring at his profile, not really knowing if it was my place to comfort him or not. The bottom line was, he was my friend before we slept together, we cared for each other and we comforted each other when needed.
I reached out and tugged him by the arm, causing him to lean towards me sideways, with no resistance whatsoever, and his head to fall to my chest. To my surprise, he was quite malleable in my hands and fell into the embrace as if he was expecting it to happen. One arm around his shoulders and the other hand pushing his hair back, so I could kiss the top of his head - he let me cuddle him and let his weight fall onto me.
“I’m sorry, H,” I mumbled against his hair, “I know it’s a decision that you made, but I also know that it hurts all the same.”
“Mh,” he adjusted and held me around the waist, “it’s never easy to go through a breakup, I feel like shit. But you know what?”
I hummed, letting him speak.
“She took it on the chin and called me out on my bullshit,” his chuckle could be felt on my stomach. “When I used the work excuse, she straight up told me to ‘stop fucking around and just get on with it’.”
“Mh, you do like when a partner can put you in your place.”
“Equally as much as I like to put them in their place.” His comment was accompanied by a quick glance up towards me and a squeeze to my middle.
“Alright,” My fingers buried through his strands and gave a tug at his hair. “Let me be a supportive friend and a great host and make you a cuppa.”
“I don’t need your lousy tea,” he mumbled, snuggling his face in my chest, “do you have any nice wine?”
“So that’s why you wanted to come over! Steal all the wine I brought from home?”
“I mean, kind of.” He shrugged and laughed, refusing to let me go. “Seeing your face is also a plus.”
And that is how we ended up with a glass of fine Italian wine each, nibbling on some Chinese food and the pictures I took on my holiday mirrored to my TV. He ooh’d and aah’d at every peak of greenery and blue skies and bright sun he saw, all the while teasing and making jokes to keep the morale up.
His head on my shoulder and his fingers playing with mine were clearly innocent touches - innocent touches that escalated when he turned his face and buried it in my neck when his fingers left mine and took a hold of my nape, when his mouth travelled to my jaw, my cheek. It only took me a split second to sigh at my stupidity and then turn my face, meeting his lips with mine.
And, I suppose he was right - I did end up jumping his bones.
#short story#hs#harry styles#hes#1dff#fanfiction#harry styles fanfiction#harrystyles#writing#harrystylesfanfiction#harry styles fic#creative writing#writer#flash fiction#original fiction#writblr#harry styles smut#harry styles ff#harry#harry styles one shot#harry styles x reader
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Unzip (Park Jimin) // 18+ nsfw!!
Warnings 🚨- daddy kink// thigh slapping//spanking//slightly rough//hickies//
-> scenario: after a terrible night meeting your father for the first time in years, your best friend Jimin makes it his job to help you alleviate your upset.
Hope you enjoy <3
*****************************************************
His hoodie hung off over you- emerald shards of your silk dress appearing below the hem. Both damp and uncomfortable the rain poured upon the two of you. Running in the desolate street with frozen hands grasping one another, giggles erupting from his lips as he pulled you along. Apartments shone a purple glow upon the pavements- illuminating the puddling water. You watched him with delight as he tugged you, an overwhelming sense of happiness flooding out the rain.
You had met with your father for the first time in years over a polite dinner at a fine restaurant- him paying the expenses. The experience had been awkward and confining, with every expression showing disgust as you exchanged your lifestyle with his. For the first time in years, you had felt so uncomfortable in a place you loved- and with his angered complexion as he watched you gloat about how wonderful you found your new life you felt the need to escape. Despite his morals, moving to Seoul was the best decision you had ever made, quickly making best friends with a customer going by the name of Park Ji-min within days of your new cafe job. Later finding out he was somehow part of a globally successful music group, Jimin had introduced you to his band members who had grown very fond of you- now spending almost every moment messaging or seeing them. Your relationship with them was rather spontaneous, thinking about it. Very sudden, almost strange consider their status- but you would never change it for the world. Problems often lay between you and your wealthy father - your alternative lifestyle regressing his attempt to make you thrive in the business world. His filthy rich fingers had only came to tousle with your “getting along” lifestyle you were portraying to him over a plate of Daeji Bulgogi- but you were fine. In fact, the rain was thrashing your face and you were beaming at the boy pulling you along- fits of giggles erupting from your mouth as the movie like scenario lulled you into a state of euphoric bliss showed him you were more than fine. Street lights were a delightful blur at the moving pace, water splashing your legs with each step- your apartment appearing to sight as Jimin turned a silhouette around the corner.
Fumbling for your keys in Jimin’s jumper, you unlocked the door to the warm air of the room, damp fingers searching for the light switch as you both continued to giggle. Catching your reflection in the hanging mirror, you inspected your soaked hair, makeup dripping from your face and dress sopping. “Lemme help you out of that, y/n” Jimin offered, his hands moving to the hem of the jumper. It was slightly stuck as he peeled it from you, laughing as your face scrunched against the uncomfortable fabric. “I’m sorry about tonight” Jimin resonated, balling up the fabric as he tried to sympathise with you. It felt unnecessary as you stood watching him in the yellow glow of the light- a now opaque shirt sticking to his toned chest - defined features staring at your own. You shook your head and smiled thankfully- “I appreciate you meeting me so late!” You chirped, laughing again slightly as he kicked off his water filled shoes. “You know where I am y/n. How about we get you changed?” He replies, taking your hand in his own. Yup shivered on his touch- the unfamiliar intimacy almost surprising you as he guided you through the corridor.
Swinging your legs, you perched on the edge of your bed watching Jimin make his way around your room- filing through cupboards and drawers to dress you. He was humming a familiar tune as he spun around, handing you a large hoodie and some shorts. Smiling, he passed them to you as you thanked him yet again for his kind help. Rising from the bed, you felt followed by his eyes- your dress pressed to your figure with water- exaggerating its fit. The tension was thick and foreign, and unable to put your finger on it you questioned him. “May you help me unzip my dress?” It came an almost quiet mutter of embarrassment at your inability to undo it, but his keenness was evident by his gentle fingers snaking to your shoulders. They carved a line between your neck and back, eventually reaching the delicate zip. Like glass he touched you, carefully and sensually- pulling it down slowly. His index finger trailed behind, painting your skin with shivers. The fabric slipped past your legs with ease, laying in a pool at your feet- leaving you exposed in nothing but a small thong. Deafening silence echoed through his burning stare- your spine heating as he ran his hands down your sides, taking in the curves of your hips. Suggestively, they wandered down to your ass, staying there. His touch was a strange sensation- the previous absence of this desire pulsing an urge through you. “Jimin I-“ you stuttered, him shushing you almost immediately. Watching the wall, you heard him step forward, his hips now against your ass; “Hush, y/n”
Replying with a nod, you pressed your lips together as he mumbled something inaudible. The closeness of his cock made your clit pulse- his erection now pressing against you. Burying his face into you, his nose pressed against your neck- breathe steady as yours hitched.
Seconds felt like minutes, hot air whispering against you and tension only rising. Kissing sliced through the warmth as he nibbled your neck, dotting pecks all over your shoulders. Groaning lightly, his cock twitched against you. Uncertain yet sure, you pushed your ass towards him in a blatant reply, tilting your head to allow him greater access. “Mmm. You’re fucking beautiful” he groaned into your neck, a squeak rising from your throat as he nipped your skin with his teeth. Greedy hands searched your ass, squeezing and kneading your body- teasing as he treat your shoulder blades with his pouted lips. Your stomach flipped as he touched you in such way- the innocence of your friendship unzipped in a ball on the floor. Your heat grew wet as you considered his next move, fingers now grasping the string of your underwear to drop them down your thighs. Giving him more to tease, his hands slowly slid down the back of your thighs to touch your dripping pussy. Moving even closer, he stroked his finger across your slit- collecting juices from your arousal. Whining at the sensation, you bucked your hips as it vacated. Holding them to your mouth, you inspected his soaked fingers which only turned you on more. Glancing back to him for reassurance, you took his fingers into your mouth- sucking and cleaning the arousal from them. Hissing at your soft tongue wrapping around his fingers, he harshly pulled your hips to his swelling erection closing the remaining space between your bodies. You could feel yourself grow needy for him as you stood naked before him- saliva running from your mouth as you continued to suck. Skilfully, his other hand busied itself undoing his belt. As if a routine, he removed his garments with little movements- his cock slapping against your ass as your mouth remained occupied.
Needing some attention to your core, you began to grind against his cock as you muttered his name into his hand. “It’s daddy to you, baby” His low voice almost finished you on it’s own- the words sending you into a moaning mess. Suddenly, he thrusted into you- his cock filling you up with a new sense of urgency. As if he was too desperate to wait to allow you to adjust, he grasped your hips with harsh fingers, arching your back with arms pressed against the wall, and pounded into you harshly. The position he stood in give him an advantage to hit your spot continuously, sloppy sounds echoing through the room as he moved in and out of you. Slapping your ass, you moaned at the sting he left behind, his balls hitting upon the new red mark. “Baby let me hear you scream for me” he groaned, a slight grunt leaving his lips as his head fell back. With weak legs, you allowed your filthy moans to escape your mouth- his name spilling like ink, sinfully writing upon the walls. “You’re so tight y/n” the boy groaned, burying his cock as far as he could before thrusting yet again. Needing more, you begged for him to go harder- even if it felt impossible for him to do so- your heat almost numb at the speed. “H- harder daddy please I ne-ed more”
Your mouth was dry as he continued, unable to withhold a single sound as spanked your ass yet again. Every word you spoke was broken as he continued to guide your hips against his cock. Your walls felt tight and your stomach clenched as he twitched inside of you- circling your hips with avarice as he continued at his merciless pace. Spilling himself inside of you, his warm cum filled up your hole- drilling from you as his movements turned sloppy while he rode out his high. Before you could cum, he pushed you to the bed directly behind the both of you- your breasts bouncing at the force. “Fucking look at you. Look how hard you still have me.” he groaned, before lying himself on the bed next to you. You glanced at him in confusion, but before you could inquest- he interrupted your thoughts. “Sit on my face y/n. I want to see that pretty pussy drip all over me.” Gracefully moving your way over, you straddled his face as the warmth of his breath matched your heat. His nose pressed against your clit as he pushed his tongue insatiably inside your hole. Flicking his tongue at the entrance before diving further, he played with your wetness as you couldn’t help but grind against his face. Your back arched as he continued, humming into your crotch. With every movement you made, your clit gained friction from his nose. You watched as his hands gripped your thighs, holding them apart to give him accession. His dominance over you startled you slightly, having never seen him in such lustful state. Eyes squeezing shut, your back arched yet again as you came all over his face- the twisting of your stomach causing you to scream his name in pure shock. Heavily breathing, your bare chest rose as you dismounted him- watching his fingers lap up your cum and licking them clean. The sight made you flush crimson - his pretty features messed with your desperation. “So fucking pretty y/n. You taste so fucking pretty.”
Glancing down at yourself, marks coated you in a shirt of crimson- your thighs and ass bruised alongside hickies decorating your shoulders and neck like jewellery. “Oh y/n I’m sorry I should have asked” Jimin panicked, his hair now slightly messy after the previous events. Shaking your head in solace, you smiled and rested yourself upon his bare chest. “Would you like to stay over Jimin?”
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
#park jimin#jimin#jimin x reader#bts jimin#jimin smut#park jimin smut#bts smut drabble#bts smut#bts smut drabbles#bts namjoon#bts taehyung#bts suga#bts jin#bts hoseok#bts junkook#bangtan smut#bangtan sonyeondan#kim taehyung#v smut#taehyung smut#jhope#bts suga smut#yoongi smut#namjoon#namjoon smut#junkook#junkook smut#jin smut#hoseok smut#bts angst
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