#I hope he goes the rest of his miserable fucking life filled with regret and I hope he hates himself. I hope he is in agony knowing he was
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PEOPLE WHO CHANGE JOBS AS MUCH AS YOU END UP HOMELESS, ALONE, AND ON DRUGS. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
#traumacore#drugcore#ventcore#ms paint#original art#this is the exact thing my father told me when i lost my job (which i had kept for almost a year at that point) due to covid and the fact#that i was not yet fully vaccinated... i had maybe 2 or 3 jobs before that. i fucking hate my father#I hope he goes the rest of his miserable fucking life filled with regret and I hope he hates himself. I hope he is in agony knowing he was#even WORSE than his own abusive parents. I hope he goes to bed every night crying and knowing exactly how he went wrong and still being#unable to do a damn thing about it because he's a quivering fucking pussy ass coward. who speaks to their kid in the way that he spoke to m#who in their right mind treats their kid like that? praises them one minute#and in the same breath tells them that they will never amount to anything? what a fucking loser and a coward. i hope he rots in hell.#all his children hate him and want nothing or minimal to do with him!!! I hope his heart breaks until the day he fucking dies.#he is a fucking coward and a pussy and a disgraceful excuse for a human being and an even more pathetic excuse for a “father”#EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING SELF HATING PROJECTING CLOSET CASE#SOME DAY YOU WILL ACHE LIKE I ACHE#that last part was a Hole reference btw
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What do you think would happen if one of the Cullens realized they might also be "in love" with Bella during Twilight along side Ed. Mates be damned (not like their marriages are gonna last anyway), and everyone's on the table (just 1 love rival, not at the same time buuuuut could you imagine the chaos? *cough*). The usual Bella eaten/killed by Eddy boi is def on the table obvie, but like do you think there's a chance he might concede to one of his family (or just any other alternatives)? -Sw
Oh boy.
Why I Don’t Think This Is a Possibility
That said, I have to caveat that I don’t think this is a very likely path (sorry, I cannot resist).
It’s true I don’t think any of the Cullen relationships will last in the long term, but I also don’t think they’re inclined to cheat on one another or fall apart at a moment’s notice. They’ve made it this long, several decades, but more, none of them realizes anything is lacking from their respective relationship.
Carlisle and Esme are very devoted to one another and don’t realize they have fundamentally conflicting values. Jasper and Alice think they fulfil each other’s needs and don’t realize that they share nothing in common. Rosalie and Emmett’s is the healthiest relationship in the house but don’t see their major issues (Emmett doesn’t really support or understand Rosalie and Rosalie loves Emmett mostly for his love of her).
My point being, none of them are going to realize it’s not working out anytime soon. They’re going to need a catalyst, and per the end of Twilight, one is coming. Either a confrontation with the Volturi occurs, Renesmee decides to leave, the Cullen lifestyle changes, or things with Bella go awry. It can be any number of things, and it will happen given time, but at the start of Twilight we haven’t hit that point yet.
There’s also the fact that of the Cullens, only Edward would do this nonsense, and even for him it takes Bella’s delicious blood to grab his attention. When she was an ordinary human, he was not interested in the slightest, not even in her gift.
Each of the Cullens (Sans Alice and Esme) is completely baffled by Edward’s emotional whiplash and attachment to this human girl he doesn’t even know. Bella only becomes a vague concept to them when she enters as a serious fixture in Edward’s life, but even then, they really don’t know what to think.
No one in the family will do what Edward did in Twilight. Look at this girl they don’t even know and say “Ah, yes, I’m in love.”
Now, that out of the way, let’s play ball.
Alice
This actually will work out shockingly well if only because I suspect Alice will come up with the pragmatic solution of “sharing”.
First, Alice is by far the closest Cullen member to Edward. He holds her in high esteem, feels a strong sense of kinship with her, actually confides in her, and sees her as a very close friend. Edward looks up to Carlisle and adores Esme, but it’s not the same.
If Alice sees herself as getting together with Bella I don’t think she’d see this as mutually exclusive to Edward having Bella. Alice cares deeply for Edward’s happiness, far more than she does Bella’s general existence, and I think the idea of entering a joint marriage with Edward and Bella would be very appealing to her.
She’d have to ease Edward into it, of course, as he’d balk at the very idea of it, but I think he’d see it as a strengthening of his and Alice’s relationship as well as having the wonderful Bella. Better yet, Alice can be physical with Bella while Edward can go compose music about their love.
As it is this... This is kind of what happens in canon.
Alice tells Edward that not only is he in love with Bella, but that Bella is going to be her best friend, so he better not muck it up. She has to ease him into the idea of being in love with Bella throughout the first part of Twilight. Then, when the relationship is solidified, Alice is right there introducing herself as Bella’s new BFF. Bella’s friendship with Alice throughout the series is extremely homoerotic and I imagine it remains so after Breaking Dawn.
Edward is very pleased that Bella counts Alice as her best friend, Alice being far and away his favorite sibling and the one he approves of Bella spending time with (generally, when she’s not foiling his schemes).
I don’t think Alice and Bella will ever have sex, per se, but I imagine they remain quite physical with each other and Edward looks on with approval thinking to himself that this is how all female friendships should be.
And if Jasper has the nagging suspicion his wife is cheating on him then he’s not functioning quite well enough to put it into words just yet.
Carlisle
Edward would lose his mind.
First, Edward is very into Carlisle, and for all he insists his feelings are filial they sound remarkably romantic. I’d drop a quote, but it’s pretty much every time Edward thinks of Carlisle in Midnight Sun. More than that, Carlisle is the man Edward aspires to be, someone he sees as profoundly more good than he could ever hope to be.
Edward projects a very similar personality onto Bella herself.
So, I imagine if Carlisle sits Edward down and says, “Actually, Edward, I have fallen in love with this Bella” Edward feels very conflicting things all at once.
On the one hand, this means Esme/Carlisle is collapsing. Edward personally brought those two together and adores the idea of their relationship. Their relationship is what he hopes his and Bella’s will look like and is to him the married ideal of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father.
Carlisle/Esme alone falling apart would give him a complete existential crisis. That’s not allowed to happen.
And then that Carlisle wants Bella Swan for himself?! Edward would be faced with the immediate,horrifying, thought that for all Carlisle is a vampire he would be the perfect man for saint like Bella. Carlisle and Bella deserve one another, would be perfect together, and Edward should not begrudge them that.
On the other hand, Edward himself is in love with Bella, and while he thought he could nobly leave her, now he has to nobly stand to the side and watch as Carlsile and her marry. It’d be a very romantic and tragic thing to do, but there’s leaving Bella to her human life, and then watching her up front for the rest of eternity while bitterly hiding his feelings.
More, Carlisle will turn her. If Bella is his true love, then there’s no question of that. Edward’s seen where this goes with Emmett. He will destroy Bella Swan to be with her forever, and Edward will have to live with the shell of Bella Swan staring back at him, fucking his father, forever.
I imagine Edward desperately pretends to concede to Carlisle, to be happy for the pair of them, but as things progress and Bella’s permanent position in the family looks more and more likely, he loses his mind. He’ll snap and there is no telling what he might do.
My money’s on him mercy killing Bella while she’s still human behind Carlisle’s back. He’s sobbing while he does it, but he just can’t let Bella be tarnished by vampirism, and now he will carry this tragic, terrible, secret for the rest of time.
Whether Carlisle was going to turn her or not is up to debate. Given he turned none after Emmett, I think he learned his lesson from Rosalie and would be more than willing to let Bella go, even if he loves her, should it mean he would not force something she does not want and does not understand upon her.
That said, I think he’d never tell Edward his feelings for Bella, as that would ruin Edward’s fledgling relationship with the girl. This is Edward’s first brush with love and seems to be the only romantic love he’ll ever have. Edward has been so miserable for so long that Carlisle would easily give up his own happiness for Edward.
So, more likely, Twilight would happen anyway and Carlisle would spend the entire time being utterly miserable and pretending he’s perfectly fine. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ESME.
Emmett
Edward tattles to Rosalie immediately.
He loves Emmett, but he knows Emmett can’t possibly be serious about this, and more, fundamentally doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing Bella is. He wants to turn her into a vampire, clearly, Emmett doesn’t know what’s best for the girl.
More, a man who would so easily break his marriage vows (even to Rosalie), does not deserve Bella Swan.
Edward watches Rosalie and Emmett’s marriage utterly disintegrate with a juice box filled with mountain lion blood and swoops in on Bella while Emmett is thoroughly distracted. Edward then gaslights Bella into believing Emmett is dangerous and despises her, making Emmett the new and improved Jasper.
Esme
Esme would never tell Edward or likely even realize her feelings for Bella herself. If she did though, she would give up the possibility of a future with Bella Swan in a heartbeat for Edward’s happiness, which means everything to her.
Esme will have no regrets, won’t even smile sadly at Bella, because she has Carlsile as her consolation prize and she gets to see the joy in both Bell and Edward’s faces which is far more important than having Bella to herself.
Esme would live vicariously through Bella and Edward’s relationship as well as the very existence of Renesmee.
Like Alice, this is one of those things that’s pretty much canon. I won’t say anything for Esme’s feelings, it’s more that Esme ships Bella with Edward (and mostly because Edward himself comes to obsess over her), but she does seem to vicariously get her joy through their nuclear family within the Cullen family.
Esme is a very strange person.
Jasper
Edward would attempt to murder Jasper or at least severely injure him. Jasper would be the ultimate threat to Bella, not even a man unworthy of her but not a man at all, and exactly what Edward needs to protect Bella against.
Alice tries to stop the fight, to no avail, and Edward will ultimately lose (despite all his confidence). I imagine Jasper doesn’t kill him, but tears apart his limbs, and uses Edward’s lack of mobility to kidnap and then turn Bella.
Bella has no idea what’s happening and the next thing she knows she’s a vampire and Jasper is telling her they have to leave the area (as he must now leave the coven).
Edward tries to track them down for the rest of eternity. He will get vengeance upon Jasper and save Bella this terrible demonic existence forced upon her. Of course, he ends up lost in Rio.
Rosalie
Edward would tell her that her feelings cannot possibly be real. Bella is a woman. More, Rosalie is unworthy of Bella in every possible regard, even more so than Edward himself.
Basically, Edward would lay into Rosalie in a way that he never has before with all of his venom. He will do everything he can to sabotage Bella’s opinion of Rosalie before Rosalie can even get a word in edgewise. He is successful at it due to Bella’s perilously low self esteem (much the reason he was successful with this endeavor in canon).
Rosalie and Edward get in a vicious fight and I imagine Rosalie eventually confronts Bella, making an opportunity to do so, and both warns her away from Edward, tells her everything, and offers to turn her despite Rosalie’s own mixed experiences.
Rosalie and Edward probably then fight and it quickly turns into something that’s very serious. If Edward wins, he murders Rosalie in the heat of the moment, and then leaves the coven in horror over what Carlisle must think of him now. If Rosalie wins... I don’t think she will, she cares for Edward far too much and would never truly be able to aim to kill or maim.
Edward disappears, drowning in his self hatred, and returns to find Bella Swan at some later date unable to resist the call of her scent. Depending where she is in her life, he likely murders her human husband if she has one and dvours her, as Alice prophesied so long ago.
#twilight#twilight meta#twilight headcanon#twilight renaissance#bella swan#edward cullen#anti edward cullen#edward/bella#anti edward/bella#carlisle/esme#anti carlisle/esme#alice/jasper#anti alice/jasper#alice cullen#anti alice cullen#alice/bella/edward#anti alice/edward/bella#jasper/bella#carlisle/bella#esme/bella#emmett/bella#rosalie/bella#jasper whitlock#rosalie hale#emmett cullen#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#twilight shipping#meta#shipping
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on my mind :: two
:: suna rintarou x f!reader :: playlist :: masterlist ::
:: taglist: open :: wc: 1.5k ::
After a drunken one-night stand with your ex, you thought you could get him out of your life for good. Unfortunately, the two of you can’t seem to keep away from each other. Why can’t you leave each other alone? And more importantly, why is he still on your mind?
tw: mentions of alcohol, hangovers, profanity, talk of sex, one-night stands
After a lot of deliberation and even more wine with Yachi, you both came to the conclusion that ignoring Suna and the one-night stand would be the best course of action. You were also hesitant to give back the National Team jersey you had taken, fearing that it would draw attention to what had conspired between you two.
Instead, you adopted the expensive jersey into your wardrobe.
So now you sat, head thrown back over the edge of your couch, fifth glass of wine in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other, bright red jersey with a large 12 and Suna’s name emblazoned on the back haphazardly thrown over your body. It was a comfortable jersey, plus, it was laundry day. You would wash it before (if) you ever gave it back.
Yachi stole the wine glass out of your hand before you could drain the rest of it.
“What the fuuuuck, ‘Toka? I was almost finished!”
Yachi just looked at you with a blank expression. “Y/n, you need to go to bed before you show up to your first day of work hungover. You’ll thank me in the morning. C’mon,” she grabbed your hands to pull you up, dragging you along all the way to your bedroom.
You cuddled into the sheets, trying to ignore the smell of Suna’s cologne on the jersey and failing miserably. Yachi brought you a glass of water and painkillers, then turned off the lights and bid you goodnight.
At least you knew why Suna was in Tokyo now. It made sense that he would make the National Team, and it was a major oversight on your part for accepting a job as a trainer for said team. However, there was nothing you could do now. You would just have to wait and see how it all played out.
You tossed and turned before finally surrendering to the comfort of the jersey’s scent. It was easier to fall asleep when you could pretend someone was next to you, anyway. When you ultimately dozed off, it was to memories of your ex-boyfriend’s calming hugs and bright smile.
---
When you arrived at the National Team Training Center the next morning, you were anxiously waiting for Suna to corner you about Saturday night’s events. Instead, you were able to walk all the way down to your new office across from the locker rooms without seeing anyone else. You set down your purse and backpack in your new office, smiling at the Assistant Athletic Trainer plaque outside your door. Popping back out into the hallway, you dropped a coffee off with your boss, Iwaizumi Hajime, whose office was adjacent to your own.
Practice didn’t start for another hour, giving you plenty of time to calm your nerves about seeing Suna. You booted up your laptop and began preparing the players’ training regimens. After about thirty minutes, Atsumu strolled into your office.
“Hey, y/n!”
“‘Tsumu!” He wrapped you in a big hug, lifting you off the ground and causing you to giggle.
“How’ve you been?” He set you back down and sat on the edge of your desk.
“Good! Lots of prepping for this new job, making sure all of your workouts are in order.” You gave Atsumu a light punch in the arm. You had missed joking around with him. Before you moved away from Hyogo, he was one of your best friends.
“Well, I hope it goes well. Hey, speaking of which, my shoulder has been kinda sore lately, think you could massage it for me?”
You just rolled your eyes and nodded. Of course, Atsumu would use your new position to his advantage. You could already tell that these next few weeks would be full of Atsumu begging for back massages when he didn’t really need them. On the bright side, at least if he was trying to scavenge a massage from you, Suna probably didn’t mention anything to him.
“Let’s go out to the court, practice is about to start. I’ll do it out there so that we aren’t late.”
Atsumu nodded, so you grabbed your backpack with your medical supplies and followed his lead to the court. You dropped your stuff at the bench and motioned for him to sit down. As you worked on his shoulder (his muscles were kind of tight after all), he talked about the temporary move to Tokyo and preparations for the upcoming Olympics. It was only April, but the competition would be here before anyone knew it. At least the team had the benefit of being at home for the duration of the Olympics. You couldn’t imagine having to adjust to a new timezone before competing at an international level.
As you two talked, more players began to filter in. Iwaizumi came out to check on you, scolding Atsumu for taking advantage of your trainer status, to which you just laughed.
“It’s fine, I promise. If I really minded, I would’ve told him to leave.”
“Alright, if you say so,” Iwaizumi looked at his watch, “Shit, I gotta go. It’ll probably be just you out here for most of the morning, y/n. I have a ton of meetings and work to catch up on, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay! I can handle it, don’t worry.” You smiled, trying to conceal the large amount of fear you still held for interacting with a certain middle blocker. Iwaizumi gave you a grin before turning and walking back towards his office.
Atsumu smirked at you, “He totally thinks you’re hot.”
You punched Atsumu in the shoulder, hard. “Shut the fuck up! And he does not, he’s gay, and he’s fucking married!”
“Hm, what a bummer. You’re too tense, you need to get laid.”
Your eyes widened as you slapped a hand over his mouth. “Atsumu!”
“Hey Atsumu, y/n, long time no see.”
Your heart dropped as you turned towards the unmistakable voice, one hand still on Atsumu’s mouth.
“Sunarin! What’s up?” Atsumu shrugged your hand off as he stood and gave Suna a half-hug. You stood to the side, slowly inching towards your backpack as a means of escape. If Suna turned his attention to you, you could just busy yourself with whatever you had in there.
“Fuck, y/n, it’s been forever since I last saw you.” You looked up at Suna, schooling your expression into something resembling calm, cool, and collected and ignoring the pounding of your heart.
You gave a half-hearted laugh, “Yeah.” Suna flashed you one of his signature grins, and you nearly choked on air. Why was he so attractive?
“You’re still as beautiful as ever.” Fuck. “So this is what you’re up to nowadays?”
“Yep!” You allowed a little grin to slip through. “Living the dream as an assistant athletic trainer!”
“That’s awesome. I always knew you would do something great.” Oh my God. “Well, it looks like practice is about to start. We should go out sometime, catch up! It’s been years since we’ve talked.”
You nodded and watched as he jogged over to where some other players were stretching, then turned and buried your face in your hands. What the fuck. He didn’t remember Saturday. That was good. Now you just had to play it cool around him, and everything would be fine.
You felt an arm settle itself on your shoulder. “He totally thinks you’re hot.”
“Atsumu, I’m going to fucking kill you.”
The man in question quickly removed his arm from your shoulder, giving you a questioning look. “The fuck is your problem with him? I know you two still have whatever from high school that’s unresolved, but you look like you want to die on the spot right now.”
“If I tell you, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone. Not a soul.” You could already tell you were going to regret this.
Atsumu brought his hand up with a cheesy grin on his face. “I solemnly swear. Now tell me.”
You sighed and internally cringed. You couldn’t believe you were about to tell Atsumu this. “On Saturday night, I got drunk and woke up in Suna’s bed,” you watched as Atsumu’s jaw dropped, “And he doesn’t remember anything, thank God.”
“Holy fucking shit, y/n!”
“Keep your fucking voice down!”
“Wait, wait, wait, it gets better,” you winced as you prepared yourself for whatever bad news Atsumu was about to bring, “He called me Sunday morning, talking about a ripped skirt and a bra some chick left, and that she stole his National Team jersey. You’re telling me that was you?”
Grimacing, you nodded.
“Damn, y/n. You’re screwed.”
You nodded again.
---
After a morning of tough practice, you were finally enjoying some peace and quiet at your desk. You ate the bento Yachi packed for you (she was a literal angel) and tried to avoid thinking about how hot Suna looked while practicing today. You couldn’t stop staring at him; every time you looked away, you somehow found yourself looking in his direction again.
Your buzzing phone pulled you out of your thoughts.
Osamu’s laughing voice filled the tiny speaker.
“Y/n! You slept with Sunarin! And he doesn’t even remember!”
You were going to murder Miya Atsumu.
taglist: @sunasexual @call-me-lulu
#kenzawrites#onmymind#Suna#haikyuu suna#suna x reader#suna haikyuu#suna rintarou#suna rintarō#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro angst#suna rintaro x you#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader#hq anime#hq suna#hq angst#click for HQ#hq#anime#hq x you#suna x you#hq x reader#reader insert#hq x y/n#suna x y/n#suna rintaro x y/n#ejp suna#ejp raijin
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yan kenma who has you locked up in his apartment- it’s been some time and you’ve given up escaping but you know he live-streams so you kind of start living small clues that you’re there in hope someone will figure it out? but instead of a viewer kenma finds out; and instead of stopping you he just decides to taunt you and play along to the point his viewers make it an inside joke- the emotional rollercoaster that would be? he wouldn’t have to punish you- the crushing despair is enough alone
This is so deliciously fucked up I love it,,, thank you anon, Kenma hits so different. I love him thank you so so so much. i am working on so much,,, thank you for being patient with all my uhhh lateness? this kinda became something a little different than the prompt but hopefully thats good?
Kenma Kozume x Fem reader
tw: Typical yandere-ness, humiliation? Sexism? Mentioned stalking, (If im missing anything please let me know my brain isn’t functioning rn)
You’re sitting on his lap, camera angled so that no one’s view is obstructed by your body, but so that all his views can clearly see you. You’ve been here so long, any hope of leaving, ironically, has left you. But, the thought crept slowly, surely, deeply into your brain and hasn’t left. You turn around on Kenma’s lap, straddling him and you’re sure the live chat is going a little crazy at the thought of Kodzuken having someone in his lap while he streams and he’s probably going to tell you to get off soon, but you’ve got the chat’s attention, and you are going to work with it. You tap Kenma’s cheeks, slight squish on them and you know he hates that it’s on camera all the same, you drum three fingers on his cheek, smiling at him for the camera as your fingertips meet his clammy skin. He doesn’t tell you to stop so across his cheek you swipe your thumb three times as tenderly as possible. As you stand from his lap, you pat his cheeks, three times delicately. You look into his eyes, still as calculating as when you met him, a deceptively warm amber with the tiniest hint of frustration (and somewhere inside, you know it’s probably with you but you can’t care.)
“I’m gonna sit on the couch, ‘kay?” You call softly, hoping you were subtle enough with your plea.
“Oh, okay,” And you think you’re free before he calls a “Wait! Come back for a little.” You’re even halfway to the couch before the words rope you back in. He beckons you to lean down, and whispers into your ear. “I noticed you trying to sign to get out. Morse code isn’t as subtle as you think, you might as well just ask them to get you out,” You chance a quick look towards chat.
“Was that morse code?”
“Holy shit! Yeah, I think that was SOS.”
“You think they actually need to get out or it’s one of those ‘my bfs terrible’ jokes?”
“You see the way they were straddling? Def not a hate my bf sorta thing.”
“See?” He’s still whispering into your ear, game forgotten in lieu of what might be called humiliation. “They won’t believe you because you want to be here. Regardless of what you say, you would’ve left already if you didn’t.” He smiles at you and affectionately pats your head. Like he’d pet a cat. The idea is still in your mind, though perhaps a little shallower. You glance at the chat once more, someone is still talking about it, but Kenma pushes you away with a “I’ll get you when I’m done, okay?” You end your night on the couch with Kenma. He smiles at you and puts your legs on his lap.
The next livestream is two days after the last one. You have something planned once more, hopefully more effective.
“I’m playing minecraft today, I could set up your computer, and we could play together?” His small smile is back. And though a kind gesture, all you can think about is how easily you could make a point.
“Okay!” The earlier plan is immediately forgotten, and thoughts of what you could do in a game, fills your mind. “Will I have a mic?”
“No, I can’t have you telling them can I?” And it clicks, because of course he’d taunt you. But it’s like your brain grew claws that cannot lose their hold.
“Will I have a camera?” And you know the answer, but Kenma might still surprise you. You’ve already had one shock tonight, maybe you’ll get another.
“No. Sorry. You have chat though.” He pats your head again, ruffling your hair. “I’ve already got you set up, c’mon.” He tugs at your hand, pulling gently.
“Thanks Kenma.” He’s put another computer across from his desk on a much smaller table made for playing cards.
“You’re all set up.”
“Yeah.” He clicks the mouse a few times, waves at the camera to his right. “Can everybody hear me?” He waits a few seconds for chat’s response. “Chat is saying yes, so let’s get right in?” He smiles sheepishly to his camera.
“Hi everyone, I’ m Kodzuken and today we are,” He pauses to look at you with honeyed amber eyes. “Playing Minecraft with my partner.” He nods in your direction. You just open the minecraft tab, the only shortcut that seems to be on the computer.
“It’s a LAN server, click that, okay?” So you click it and say nothing. You start to go through the motions of chopping a tree, making sticks, making a crafting table. Kennma is narrating what he does, and you’re not even sure where he is in game until you're knocked back and turn your mouse to look at him.
“Yeah, I know - she should be relying on me.” He’s responding to something in chat, he’s gotta be. You type a quick,
“What’re they saying?”
“Oh, that my girlfriend shouldn’t be so independent, you rely on me - I'm your boyfriend.” Kenma says it so casually, so acerbically that you immediately take off sprinting from the forest in game.
“She has these bouts - you saw them last stream - where she likes to try and ‘get away’.” Kenma laughs softly; little glockenspiel notes falling from his mouth. “It’s a really cute joke honestly! Anyway, I’ll put my minecraft bed next to hers later, right now...” You stop paying attention and start planning how you’d try to get your point across more clearly. You could make signs, say “Get me out!” Like Kenma suggested.
“Hey! He looks over the screen at you, piercing eyes staring right through you. “Don’t go off on your own, we’re staying together alright?”
“No.” He’ll have to deal with chatting, possibly hearing you by himself. And you continue through the coded forest. It goes pretty smoothly, though you’re sure Kenma is trying to find you, you’ve already created a mine for yourself, and made a little sign with instructions that reads: “Get me out!”
“Her voice is quite cute, isn’t it? I’ll get to hear it for the rest of my life.” He continues humming out yes’s and no’s to his audience that sit captivated in a land of blocks and pixels.
“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom, is it alright if my girlfriend takes over for me?” He stands, and waves you over into his chair that’s been made for gaming and padded with red accents. He watches you with his cat-like eyes as you sit down and pats your head. “I’ll be right back Kitty, behave.” And you hear his soft footsteps get farther away and the creak of the door twice before you finally look at chat.
Woa, Kudzu got lucky huh?
“Please,” You don’t sound nearly as someone might think you would. You’ve been here too long. “Get me out of here?”
Sure sweetheart, just come over to my place first.
“Just - get me away from him please!”
Girls are so whiny huh?
Hey man, its funny at least amiright?
“It’s not a joke -”
She’s really committed to this bit huh
Damn iim staartin to feel bad for ken
Me to :(
“I’ve been here for year and I don’t want to-”
Wow. what an ungrateful bitch.
Ikr? She’s got a bf and everything and she wants to get out?
“No- it’s not like that - he stalked me for months I-” And the familiar desperation you thought hoped beyond all hope that you had lost bleeds back into your voice all repression surfaces like the tide in your eyes.
Oh fuxxx we made her cry.
relax bet she’s just on her period or smth
“I am not!” A bubble of snot pops from your nose and mucus drips uncomfortably to your lips. “I just-”
What could you want that you don’t have.
“My house! My job! My friends!” And your voice breaks
She wants to go back to a job?
Crazy lady huh.
She wants friends when all she really needs is a man? smh.
“Kitten, what-”
“Leave me the fuck alone!” It’s an outburst that you’ll regret later, for one reason or another. But for now it’s a small comfort to speak your mind. With your voice wavering and congested, you choke out a “Let me go home.” Kenma’s eyebrows furrow but his eyes are still the calculating, cold amber they always are.
“Shh shh, it’s okay.” Instead of the quick pats he’s so fond of, he strokes your hair and massages the nape of your neck like he’s picking up a kitten who's gotten into a fight. “I’m going to cut the stream, okay?”
Who’d want to leave Ken, he’s cutting the stream short to help his gf.
…….yeah
I feel bad.
“You should. Please don’t make her cry.” A few clicks later and the stream cuts. “Do you want me to upload that one?” To get your message out? You’d do anything.
“Yes please…” Someone will have to see it. How miserable you are.
“Then it’ll go up, okay?” He pats your back twice, and he stands again to sit at the computer. Out of the blue he speaks again. “They’re right.” No no no no no. “I’m lucky, i’m so glad you're here with me and that you won’t leave.”
“I will get out!” The proof of your white hot anger is breaking the dam built in your throat.
“Where will you go? Your friends don’t know where you’ve gone, they won’t be happy with you coming back unannounced.”
“My parents-”
“You can rely on me, you don’t need anyone else.”
“But I-”
“Shhh kitty, you’re overreacting let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a stressful day.” And so he walks you back to the room you share that's covered in pictures, and he tucks you under the covers and dries your tears with a blanket. He whispers words to you, faint little nothings about games he’s going to play that you’ll enjoy watching and little bits of trivia about what “Kuroo” is up to. Eventually you fall asleep, with his hand in your hair and a chair pulled up close so he can stare. You both know it but no one will admit, some part of him will always enjoy how you lose hope so quickly.
--
once again! This should not’ve taken so long,,,, and it kinda deviates from request but! there we are! also,,,, you can’t tell me that like,,,,,,, kenma hasn’t been at least exposed to incels and or like,,,, really sexist guys he streams on twitch or youtube or something so- also thank you anon,,, i really like this one
#yandere x reader#yandere imagine#yandere#yandere haikyuu#yandere haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu kenma#kenma kozume#yandere kenma#yandere kenma x reader#hq kenma#kenma x reader#kenma kozume x reader#tw sexism
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Hey can u do a Elijah mikaelson x reader where he cheats on her with hayley more than one time and the mikaelson family knew expect kol and davina because she’s their best friend. Reader is hurt and angry and her and Hayley fights Elijah defend Hayley. Reader leaves New Orleans but comes back when kol ask for help. Elijah sees her and he feels guilt and tries to win her back. ( can u make the reader an ex assassin a deadly one two )
Elijah Mikaelson x Reader
Request- Hey can u do a Elijah mikaelson x reader where he cheats on her with hayley more than one time and the mikaelson family knows expect kol and davina because she’s their best friend. Reader is hurt and angry and her and Hayley fight. Elijah defends Hayley. Reader leaves New Orleans but comes back when Kol asks for help. Elijah sees her and he feels guilt and tries to win her back. ( can u make the reader an ex assassin a deadly one two )
Warnings- Swearing, cheating, bitchy Hayley, angst, reader getting hurt
Word Count- 1711
“You know you have to tell her Elijah. You can’t keep this a secret from Y/n forever. She’s been one of my closest friends for 4 years. I’ve watched you fall in and out of love with y/n, and then you fall for Hayley all in that time. It isn’t fair.” Rebekah says to Elijah as he closes the door to Haley’s room. Elijah turns around and goes to pass Rebekah. Rebekah’s hand grasps onto his arm before he can fully pass her, but is shrugged away by him.
“You don’t think I know that sister. Of course I feel horrible for what I’m doing to Y/n. I’ve loved her for four years.But-”
“But what brother, you say you’ve been in love with her for all these years but you still do this to her. Some man of your word you are.” Rebekah walks to the end of the hallway before turning around.
“You have until the end of the week, or I tell her myself. And when she finds out Hayley better not be anywhere around because I know not even a hybrid coils stand a fight with Y/n.”
I walk into the living quarters of the Mikaelson compound, Davina and Kol by my side.
“Well all I’m saying girls is that those shoes definitely don’t match her eyes.” Kol says, throwing his hands into the air.
“Well thank you love, but she still bought the shoes. Right y/n?.” Davina looks in my direction but is met with a blank stare. “Y/n?”
I shake my head getting me out of my thoughts, “Sorry. Ya. Shoes and all that right.”
“Y/n, are you ok?” Davina and Kol share a look, before returning their eyes to me. I run my hands over my face before facing them again.
“Have you talked to Elijah lately? It seems like everytime I try to talk to him, he always finds an excuse to leave.” Kol and Davina both shake their heads.
“Well I’m sure it’s nothing, my dear brother has always been a stick in the mud.” Kol smirks, but quickly stops when he sees my unimpressed face.
“Well um, here comes my bastard brother, maybe he knows.” I look over to the stairway where Klaus is descending while holding Hope in his arms.
“Brother have you happened to know what the bloody hell is up Elijah’s ass lately and why he’s treating my best friend like shit?”
Klaus’s eyes quickly meet mine and flash with what appears to be pity, or regret. But he quickly shakes his head and starts to walk into the kitchen. I’m definitely not dealing with this shit today.
“Niklaus Mikaelson you best as hell tell me what in the world is going on. I’ve seen the looks from you and Rebekah. The side eyes and the looks of pity. What the hell is going on.” Klaus doesn’t meet my eyes, “Please Nik. It’s killing me.”
“I promised Elijah I wouldn’t tell you. But, I can’t do this to you anymore. Go to his room.”
Klaus looks towards Elijah’s room. I don’t spare a second before I run up to his room stopping at the door. Standing there for a second I decide if barging in is a bad idea, until I hear giggling from what appears to be a woman. I slam open the door to see Elijah sitting up against his head board holding a woman. His hands brushing through her hair. Something he used to do to me. I make eye contact with Elijah who has stopped touching the other woman, and just stares at me. Not with pity, but with the look of a child who just got scolded by their mother. The woman quickly turns around and faces me. The woman who I would ask Elijah time and time again if he felt anything for her. God, how stupid I was. I saw the looks. Of course out of all the people he had to fuck behind my back, it had to be her. Hayley.
Elijah goes to stand up but I’ve already made my way through the door. I practically run down the stairs into the living space. Kol and Davina’s questions and yells are thrown towards me but I block them out. I’m about to make it outside before he speeds in front of me.
“Y/n please wait. Let me explain.” Elijah looks at me with such a sad look. That would make me feel for him, if he wasn’t such a two-timing whore.
“Explain what Elijah? That you’re a two-timing whore, slutting it up with another whore.” I throw my fist into Elijah’s nose, the crack loud enough that even a vampire wouldn’t need their hearing to hear it.
“Oh shit.” Kol yells from behind us. “Shut it Kol.” Davina throws back.
“I know you didn’t just call me a whore.” Jesus Christ.
I spin around to find Hayley standing there. All in her glory. Messy sex hair and a smirk on her face. I turn back around knowing that at least I’ll be the bigger person.
“Aw, well Y/n. It’s not his fault you became unlovable. I mean who’d want someone who can’t even go through a conversation without punching someone in the face.” Hayley’s snarking voice cuts through.
I whip around to see her staring at me with a smirk. Oh this bitch. I start to run at her with my hand on the knife I keep hidden under my shirt. Hayley starts to back away before Elijah steps in front of her, pushing me back. With the impact of his shove I land on my ass. Tears well up in my eyes as I look up to him. Elijah’s face covered in regret. I can see Davina holding back Kol from attacking Elijah out of the corner of my eye. And Nik holding Hope’s head towards his shoulder blocking her from the mayhem that’s happening in front of her.
Elijah goes to reach for me but I back away. Wiping the tears from my eyes. “So that’s how it is. You’d hurt me to protect her.” Elijah lowers his head. “I guess that’s my answer then.”
I stand up and walk out. Davina and Kol trailing behind me.
2 Years Later…
Music and laughter fills my ears as I swing along with a random group of people in the little irish pub I’m in. My laughter is drowned out by my phone buzzing in my pocket. I walk away from the group which gets me a bunch of boos. I laugh to myself as I press the answer button.
“Hello, Y/n here having the time of her life. And you’re messing it up. This better be good.”
“Y/n?,” Davina’s voice sobers me up, “I need your help.”
“I’m on my way.”
As I walk into the place I used to call home the memories of the last time I was here come back to me. My yelling, Hope’s crying, Elijah’s looks of disdain.
“Y/n?” Davina’s voice breaks me away from my thoughts. Before I can process anything she pulls me into a hug. I look into her eyes to see them welling up with tears. “I missed you too, D.”
“Is that who I think it is! Bloody hell!” Kol’s much more aggravating voice cuts through before I fell another pair of arms surround me.
“Group hug. Yay. I missed you too Kol. Now let go.” Kol and Davina’s arms reluctantly unloosen around me.
“Now, as much as I love you both and am enjoying this little reunion. What is the little problem you need help with?”
Davina and Kol bring me into a room where the rest of the Mikaelson’s are sitting. Most annoyingly Elijah. He looks at me trying to catch his eye, but I’m not going to give him the satisfaction. Hope is also there who seems to find me very interesting, coming over to me and trying to braid my hair after I sit down.
After what seemed like hours of avoiding staring at Elijah, they all finally tell me what the problem is and what they need me to do.
“Alright let’s get this done with.”
Stretching my neck I walk back into the compound with Kol by my side. “Ya, that definitely reminded me why I hate witches,” I look at Davina, “no offence.” She just shrugs with a look of understanding.
“Well, as much as this has been fun. There’s a little pub in Ireland calling my name. Goodbye Mikaelsons. Kol, Davina I’ll talk to you two later.” Nodding my head I grabbed my bag from the chair I placed it in before we went to fight the witches. Walking towards the door I’m stopped by him. Flashbacks from that day come back making me flinch away from him.
“Y/n can we please talk?” Elijah looks at me earnestly.
“Let me guess you and Hayley didn’t work out?” Elijah shakes his head, “She married another wolf.” I laugh in his face. Good. He needs to know the pain he caused me.
“Please Y/n. I know I messed up. After you left, I was miserable without you. I still am. I realized how much of a monster I had been to you. You never deserved to have been treated like that by me. I’m sorry. If you’d just give me another-” “Don’t,”
“Oh you poor baby. You caused the problem. You slept with her. And I’m supposed to feel sorry for you! You have no idea how many nights I stayed up crying myself to sleep asing myself why wasn’t I good enough? It took me months, Elijah, to finally find an answer. DO you know what that answer is? The answer was never that I wasn’t good enough, the answer was the you weren’t man enough to tell me that you couldn’t love me as much as you desired her. And as soon as I realized that everything changed. I’m living my life now. Not confined to the haunting life of the girlfriend of one of the Mikaelson brothers. I’m free.”
Elijah stares at me, tears falling from his eyes as I walk past him.
“Goodbye Elijah.”
#klaus mikaleson imagine#klaus x reader#klaus mikaelson#stefan x elena#Kol mikaelson#elena gilbert#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikaelson#the vampire diaries#Author#the originals#thecwshows#the vampire diares imagine#athenamikaelson#kol mikaelson imagine#kol mikaelson icons#kol mikaelson x reader
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You Don’t Understand- Prompt Fill
Jon has a rough time after being absent for 6 months.
Write as a prompt fill gotten through A03
CW fainting, victim blaming, withdrawal/starvation symptoms (from statements) (I am a bit vague about which it is more like because I couldn't choose, so a bit of both), trust issues, very brief Peter Lukas mention, brief mention of someone being touched while unconscious (nonsexual and very brief mention), and cw for some very mixed feelings about Georgie. I understand her, and I don't hate her, but I don't really like her either so please don't get mad at me for how she is written I am trying to do her justice and I get why she does the things she does, but I don't have to like her for it.
Thanks for reading hope you enjoy! I have a few more bingo prompts to post, but only one more to write! Feel free to stick it in my inbox and if no one does, well you will just have to put up with whatever whim strikes me this weekend when I will write it for a backlog! Card by the wonderful @celosiaa
It’s been six months. How has it been six months?
Jon isn’t sure how he is supposed to think about that time. Is it all supposed to feel like a dream, that one moment he’s blowing up, the next he’s awake?
It doesn’t feel like that.
But he also wasn’t really there for six months, was he?
He sighs deeply to himself. It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
He’s alive.
He’s fine.
Martin and Tim are sharing a flat, apparently. And that’s good. He thinks? Maybe?
They keep telling him there is room for him, but he isn’t sure he can believe that…. Not after everything with Tim. He wants to believe it… But… what if Martin doesn’t want him there. He thought maybe they had a moment before the Unknowing, but did they?
Jon’s not good with…. Feelings. With people.
Not to mention he’s been Gone. With a capital G and a flatline of a heartrate.
Even if he and Martin could possibly have… Could possibly have had something. Of some unknowable sort. That he couldn’t have hoped to put a word to for fear that it would crumble around him. But he’s been gone and Tim hasn’t been and they seem close now.
And maybe Tim is trying again with him? But how can he be sure? When everything is confusing and out of sync with what he thought of time.
Not to mention the deep hunger that is more than hunger. Deeper in his gut, and harder to ignore. Followed by a fog of confusion and the sense that his skin is too tight, that the world is the wrong temperature, and that everything is tilted ever so slightly, making it impossible to keep his balance.
Reading statements helps, but… Basira… but Georgie. The disappointed glares they send his way when he skulks off to read one in hopes of feeling like his limbs are his again…. That he isn’t being slowly set on fire or slowly frozen. The world skirting by him with a vengeful glee leaving him to rot in his own misery on the shelf in the stacks he’s been calling home recently.
Martin wasn’t there when he woke up…. Working for the ever elusive Peter Lukas. Tim wasn’t there… Martin later telling him he’d been afraid of scaring him. Which Jon couldn’t escape the worry that, in actuality, it was Martin worrying that Tim would scare Jon… or hurt him. Which Jon could tell was the more valid of the worries. Or he thinks it is? How is he supposed to be certain. How can he trust anyone? How is he supposed to trust anyone when Basira gives him such calculating stares, when Melanie glares metaphorical and literal daggers at him, when Georgie has been ignoring his texts (and her harsh words upon his waking). When Martin is working for a literal monster. When Daisy is gone… and Jon doesn’t know how to feel. He wants Basira to be happy, but he feels safer without her. And he doesn’t know how to feel about anything but he is sick and hungry and cold and hollow.
There is no one.
Georgie doesn’t understand.
He runs into her once, picking Melanie up for therapy. After…. An unwise abrupt and shady surgery.
He is in the breakroom. Baffled that Martin is still making him tea when he hardly sees him around. Even more baffled when Tim makes him another cup.
What does it all mean?
(Not to mention his confusion at the green hair… that had been a shock.
When he texted Martin about it, he said to ask Tim, and included an emoji that Jon couldn’t parse out. Weren’t emojis supposed to be easier to read than actual faces? It was maybe resigned? Or maybe regretful?
Regretful of what? Is he ashamed of something? Is he regretful that he opened a text from Jon, that Jon turned down the request to move in?
It isn’t that Jon wanted to turn it down.
But it sounds too good to be true? When everyone avoids him at work… Well Tim doesn’t, but Jon is scared of being alone with Tim. He is scared of this kindness and how long it might last.)
So he’s in the breakroom.
Trying to steady himself the less monstrous and terrifying way.
And Georgie is there.
Jon shrinks back on himself. Still hoping the mug of tea will make his hands steadier, make him less cold, less shaky, less miserable. But he’s having difficulty holding it with one shaky hand, white knuckling his cane with the other. Trying not to let it tremble as much as the rest of him, propping himself up when black spots start eating at his vision. Not in the POTS sort of way… but in the same way that has been since America. Since that first hint of fear that maybe… maybe he’s not human, that he is reliant on some horrifying eldritch god of knowledge.
This is the price of him waking up.
And it chews him up from the inside when, in his panic, he tries to limit his consumption hoping that it will turn him back. Hoping that he still has a chance to win back the people he cares about, but fighting the fear that this is the only way to save them all.
He doesn’t know what to do. Being undead doesn’t come with a manual.
And there is no chance that Georgie will take this any better than she did when she kept telling him to quit… to just stop.
He’s trying!
It’s been a few days since his last statement, and the world swims before his eyes whenever he stands. Worse than it ever has. He’s woken up on the floor more times in the few weeks he’s been alive again than in the long and confusing months leading up to his diagnosis.
Which was after Georgie… which… means she hasn’t seen him like this. Not when he was living with her because he has been managing, or so he thought, but hell maybe the Eye had a hand in that.
And oh Shit, she is looking at him now.
What does he do if she wants to talk? She hasn’t responded to any of his texts, or late night calls when he’s been too afraid to call anyone else and she always felt safe. Even when they were fighting. But she hasn’t been there for him. No one has, of late. Except the people who are trying and Jon is too confused to know what to do so he does nothing and an all-consuming guilt joins in with that Hunger. That sickness eating him from the inside with every word he doesn’t consume.
“Hi Jon.”
He can’t say anything. He’s been standing too long, but seeing her there, he is frozen. Fight or Flight breaking down to freeze. Has he always been such a coward?
Yes.
Yes he has. A miserable coward since he was a child. Getting into trouble trying to try to prove to himself that he isn’t.
Christ he’s dizzy. But she’s still talking.
“Jon, you really oughtn’t be here. You don’t look well. Shouldn’t you still be resting? That long in hospital should have you in need of some physical therapy. Are you pushing yourself too hard?”
Jon bites down on the urge to snap at her. Or start crying. Or simply pass out and not have to deal with this conversation at all. “I need to be here,” he says quietly. Afraid that expelling too much air will knock him over.
“And why is that? Really Jon, I swear… Melanie says you haven’t been eating , or sleeping, but she sees you here at all hours. Why? What is this all for? It’s just a job, I don’t care if there are Monsters or whatever. You see this? This is why I can’t deal with you right now! Not to mention what you did to Melanie. What the hell, Jon? You say you’re trying to save the world, but maybe you can’t? Maybe you need to save yourself before you can do anything else.”
Jon just wants to get away before he goes down, and by this point he knows that is inevitable. Maybe get to his office, and open a statement first. Maybe that will help, or maybe it will make him feel better once he comes around. He should put down his tea. He doesn’t want the mug to break if he can’t make it. He’ll set it on the table on the way out, or wait until he’s in the bullpen and put it down and take a seat and hope that helps. He tries to edge around her, staring at the floor. Careful not to say anything that could compel. Just wanting to get out. “Have work to do… sorry.”
“No you don’t! Look at yourself, Jon! Work can wait!”
Jon just wants to leave. He wishes it could! He does. He wants nothing more than to take a vacation. To move in with Martin and Tim and have a life. A home. Safety. Normalcy. And Argument over who finished the milk and who has to do the shopping and not about how best to not die at the hands of Fear Gods, and how best to not serve them. “Please, Georgie you don’t understand…”
He backs away. Fuck he’s dizzy.
“No, Jon I don’t. Explain. What am I missing. Why do you have to do this? Why do you insist on working yourself into your grave? It’s already basically killed you. Maybe some of us don’t want to see you do that again?”
“I… I… I need a Statement….” Well so much for getting away. He’s not even going to make it to a chair or the floor on his own. “Hold this, I’m… I think I’m going to faint now.” He holds his cane out to her.
She takes it confused.
Jon doesn’t remember hitting the floor.
When he comes around, his head is pounding.
Georgie is touching him. He is on his side, and he is being yelled at. He can’t make out the words yet… all just in a haze of pain and confusion and feeling like utter shit. He tries to bat her hands away but he can’t and so he just lays there. Hoping some feeling comes back to his limbs soon. Or that Georgie will just get bored and leave him there.
But then Martin is there. And Tim.
And Martin is shooing Georgie out of his personal space. “He doesn’t like being touched while he’s out.”
Well… correct.
“What the hell just happened?” Georgie.
“Well… it happens sometimes. Did he say anything?” Martin again.
“Something about needing Statement?”
“Tim, could you grab him a Statement?”
“Sure thing, back in a mo.” Tim. More earnest than Jon has heard him in a long time. Tim helping him? If he wasn’t already on the floor, he might have fainted again at that.
“What, you’re just going to go along with it? Let him work himself to death? Look at him! He isn’t well! …I don’t know why I am arguing this. He’s an adult and if he is going to do that, I don’t need to be a part of this. It isn’t my job to baby sit him.” Georgie shoves his cane at Martin, who doesn’t freeze. In fact, as far as Jon can tell through half lidded eyes, Martin looks angry.
“Look. I know we don’t know each other well. But do you really think so poorly of Jon… of me? I don’t know what he’s told you… but he needs those Statements to live. I don’t know if it’s ….a food… or… or an addiction. But … he doesn’t do well without them. And… And Elias was feeding them to him when he wasn’t here. And Jon told me how you didn’t want them in the flat, but he got sick in America. Really really sick, and … and Elias found him there and fed him another one. He didn’t know until then. But… you have to know we can’t quit. And we aren’t sure if Jon can live without these. And it is a far from ideal situation… but we are working on it. You don’t have to like it. Or talk to Jon, although you should. You aren’t enabling him, he needs a support system. And he’s just too thick to see that Tim and I are here from him, and everyone else is giving him the cold shoulder… so I don’t blame him for being too thick to notice! Not to mention, my new position has made interacting with him during work hours… difficult, but I can’t blame him for not wanting to move in yet, although I hope he will. And you! The only person not in this mess who he trusts, ignores him. Blames him! Maybe you should try listening? I get it… you can’t deal with him right now. Fine. I get it. Do what you have to. You don’t have to look after him at your own expense. But don’t be cruel. …Oh good. Tim, thanks. When he comes around, a Statement and some tea will set him right.” Martin smiles at Tim (a smile that makes Jon jealous) and gives Georgie a cool look.
“Marto, I think he’s been awake for most of that.” Tim is crouched by him.
“Haven’t been eavesdropping, promise. Just… just getting my bearings. I’m fine. I’ll be up soon.” Jon’s voice is rough. Misery, unshed tears, exhaustion. Take your pick.
“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll get you fixed up and then you can have a proper rest. Offer of the flat share is still open, okay?” Tim hovers, ready to help him sit when he’s ready.
Jon… doesn’t know what to say. After hearing Martin defend him… Maybe… Maybe he can start working on trusting Tim again. Tim… is, after all, working on trusting him too.
Georgie looks down at him. He can’t read her expression. She looks at him for a long moment.
The gaze isn’t uncomfortable by itself. But Jon feels exposed on the floor. Small and helpless and weak as well as supernaturally hungry, that not at all helped by his “surprise nap.”
He tries to avoid meeting her eyes.
“I’m… sorry I didn’t listen. I… still can’t do this with you right now. But… I’m sorry. I can’t be your friend now, but… let me know if you want some pictures of the Admiral ever, okay?” And she leaves. Off to bring Melanie to her appointment.
Leaving Jon with Martin and Tim.
Who bring him to his sad excuse for a bed, tuck him in with a statement and a cup of tea and tell him to call if he needs anything. And Jon thinks, maybe he will reconsider their offer.
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#georgie barker#tim stoker#martin blackwood#timothy stoker#cw fainting#cw victim blaming#cw statement hunger#tma fic#my words#my fic#my writing#my art
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To Look On Tempests and Not Be Shaken
Summary: In the wake of a blazing row and an empty apartment, Aaron finds Spencer's well-thumbed copy of Shakespeare's sonnets and recalls the morning after their wedding, when Spencer sat on his lap and read Sonnet 116 to him. Suddenly, everything makes sense.
Tags: angst with a happy ending, fighting and making up, married hotchreid, relationship dynamics, introspection, fluff, shakespeare/literature
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid
Word Count: 2.6k
Masterlist // Read on AO3
(Set in S11, AU in which Haley/Aaron divorced in S1 and Aaron/Spencer married in S4.)
It wasn’t really either of their faults: work was relentless at the moment and they hadn’t had any real time for one another in weeks. That’s not really a consolation to either Spencer or Aaron, however, when they’re in the middle of a blazing row that has them both drowning in flames of anger and passion, unable to see one another for the smoke filling their apartment.
“Aaron, this is the fourth case in a row that you’ve stayed at the office past 4 in the morning to wrap up the paperwork,” Spencer shouts, frustration rising in his chest as he tugs at his hair, already feeling far too overwhelmed. Aaron is looking as unbothered and stoic as he always does during their fights, and even though Spencer is fully aware of the emotion that will be stirring under his carefully constructed mask, it doesn’t make it any less exasperating.
“You know as well as I do that this sort of work load is completely unavoidable,” Aaron says lowly, anger finally audible in his voice. It’s not as satisfying as Spencer had hoped. “We can’t keep rehashing this same old argument. I’m the Unit Chief of a team in one of the most prestigious FBI departments. I have a responsibility.”
“You have a responsibility to me and Jack as well,” Spencer cries, fury bubbling over as he thinks of Jack and just how much he deserves. “We deserve your time just as much as fucking serial killers do.”
Aaron visibly flinches as Spencer swears, an occurrence rare enough to indicate serious emotion. “This is exactly the argument I used to have with Haley, Spencer,” he says harshly. “I refuse to have it with you, too. If you can’t handle it then maybe you should leave, just like she did, hm?”
“Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe that means there’s an element of truth in it then, Aaron?” Spencer asks, voice breaking slightly as the scale tips away from uncontained ire towards hopeless misery. He turns away from his husband, trying in vain to conceal his crumpled face and damp eyes. “And you know I would never do that to you; don’t you dare throw your unresolved issues back in my face.”
“I can’t deal with this right now,” Aaron says, voice and face hardened; Spencer can almost see the walls he’s building up again, the stubborn refusal to concede any point. “You’re not being rational. I’m going to bed.”
His stomach twists with the desperation of the situation as he says quietly to Aaron’s turned, retreating back, “What happened to never going to bed angry?” He doesn’t turn back around.
⭐️
Aaron waits in bed for Spencer to join him, fully intending to feign sleep the moment he enters the bedroom but nevertheless longing to know he’s safely tucked next to him in bed. When he hears the quiet click of the front door and checks the time to see he’s been waiting for almost 25 minutes, though, a panicked feeling fills his chest. He throws the covers back and treads out to the living room, only to be met with a decidedly empty room. If he was a more spiritual man he’d say he could still feel the angry aura of their previous argument lingering over the furniture. Really what he feels is the inevitable, empty vacuum a home without Spencer in it is bound to house.
He sits down on the sofa, just on the wrong side of too cold in his threadbare t-shirt and underwear, and buries his head in his hands. The problem is that he knows Spencer’s right. He and Jack both deserve better than this kind of life, of course they do. Jack deserves a father, Spencer deserves a husband. Admitting such a fact, however, requires humility, vulnerability, failure almost. It means telling his boss that he needs reinforcements, that he can’t continue with the 80+ hour weeks, that he’s not as strong as he used to be.
That sort of thing takes a courage that feels so far out of reach, though, and he’s left defending a place he doesn’t want to be in against people he loves more than anything in the world.
Forcing himself out of his miserable carousel of thoughts and regrets, he pulls his head from his hands and catches sight of a note on the coffee table, his name scrawled across it in Spencer’s handwriting. Immediately, his heart sinks: it’s unlikely a love letter. It’s far more likely it’s a note of good riddance, an announcement of abandonment.
Turning it over in his shaking hands, he reads:
I’ve gone to stay with Derek and Penelope for the night. I will pick up Jack from Jessica’s in the morning, on my way home. I love you. Spencer
He immediately feels guilt at ever having thought that Spencer would be cruel enough to leave him in the same way he’s been left himself one too many times. His husband has an incredible amount of love filling his heart, and he’s simply incapable of such cruelty. It’s been a fear of his for many years, that Spencer would grow unhappy but be too kind to leave, prioritising Aaron above himself. He knows it’s Haley’s fault for embedding such fear and doubt in his heart all those years ago, but he can’t help but berate himself for ever doubting Spencer.
It’s not like they’re about to break up. When he considers the situation logically, he knows that. He loves Spencer, Spencer loves him, and ultimately, he’s going to relent. He’s going to draw on whatever shreds of courage remain in his tattered and beaten soul and do whatever it takes to make his family happy, to give them what they deserve. He just has no idea how to cross the gaping chasm that stands in the way of reaching that eventuality.
He goes to place the note back down on the coffee table, but his eyes land on the book it had originally rested on: Spencer’s well-loved copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets. He picks it up, sort of absent-mindedly, thumbing the pages the love of his life has read countless times, holding on to the book as an emotional connection to Spencer. It’s travelled their entire relationship with them; he remembers it laying on his spare bedside table back when Spencer visited his apartment in the dead of night, terrified of anyone finding them out. He’d read the poems over and over again, long into the night. Aaron can’t help but smile at the memory of Spencer’s unique quirks.
Eventually, his absent fiddling lands him on a page Spencer’s visited time and time again. A worn leather bookmark Aaron recognises as one of Diana’s gifts marks the page titled Sonnet 116. Tired and lovelorn, he begins reading.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.
Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare
((Modern Translation, if you’d prefer:
I will not admit that interferences are possible in the union of two people
In love. Love that changes
when circumstances do is not love,
Nor if it bends when someone tries to destroy it:
Oh no! It is an eternally fixed point,
Which may watch storms but is never shaken by them;
it is the guiding star for ever lost ship:
Its distance may be measured but its quality cannot be.
Love does not fall victim to Time, though features of youth
Are eventually entrapped by him;
Love doesn’t change as hours and weeks race past,
But endures until death.
If this is wrong, and I’m proved incorrect,
Then I never wrote, and no man ever loved.))
The words come rushing back to him as soon as he reads them: it had been a contender for Spencer’s chosen poem at their wedding. He’d eventually gone with I loved you first by Christina Rosetti, the perfect compliment to his own choice of I love you by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, but on their first morning as a married couple, laid in their warm and comfortable bed, Spencer had pulled out this very book and straddled Aaron’s thighs, reading it to him with an earnest expression. He remembers the air being punched out of his chest as he’d looked up at a bright-eyed 27-year-old Spencer who had been through so much already but still held all the grace and innocence he did on his first day at the BAU.
He doesn’t realise he’s crying until a tear runs down his nose and splashes on the page. What really tips him over the edge is reading Spencer’s small, chicken-scratch annotations around the poem, noting different points in their relationship, events between the two of them that prove the words of an Englishman born 400 years earlier.
It’s so easy for him to doubt how much Spencer loves him - insecurities and the trauma of his separation from Haley consume him far too often - but he’s holding the tangible, physical proof. This is undeniable, this is the evidence his doubtful, damaged heart yearns for, and the furious, raging, endlessly tumultuous waters inside him settle for the first time in weeks.
⭐️
The second Aaron’s alarm goes off at 6am, he gets started on the plan he’d formed as soon as the words of Shakespeare’s sonnet had sunk in. The email he’d composed the night before is the first thing his laptop screen displays when he powers it on, and he presses send on the uncompromising, demanding letter he’d addressed to Cruz. Finally feeling good about the entire situation, he turns the coffee maker on and gets dressed; Spencer’s an early riser but he’s determined to get to Derek and Penelope’s before he leaves.
The relief is freeing, and he feels light for the first time in a long time. He hadn’t quite realised just how much it had all been weighing on him until he’d finally found the courage to cut it free.
Armed with two coffees and Shakespeare’s sonnets, he heads downstairs to the taxi he’d ordered the night before. The city races past in front of the slow and steady sunrise, dawn marking a new chapter in Aaron’s life that he’s determined to make worth it. Slowly the thick of the city fades into the suburbs, and the taxi slows down as they wind through the maze of identical looking streets until they arrive at Derek and Penelope’s home.
He pays the taxi driver as quickly as possible and sighs in relief at the sight of Spencer’s car still on the drive as he climbs out of the vehicle, carefully balancing his two coffees, still warm in their thermal mugs. Fully aware that Derek and Penelope are absolutely going to chew him out the minute they lay eyes on him, he hesitantly rings the doorbell.
“Man, what the hell?” Derek exclaims, clearly exasperated as he swings the door open, revealing a sorry looking Aaron Hotchner standing sheepishly on his doorstep.
“I know,” Aaron replies immediately, trying to portray as much regret and understanding with his body language as is possible when holding two coffees with your husband’s most prized possession perched precariously under your arm. “I know, I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I need to see Spencer.”
Derek looks thoroughly put out just being in Aaron’s presence, but after a moment or two of hesitation he relents, opening the door wider to let him through. “Alright,” he sighs. “I’ll ask if he’s okay to see you.”
He parks Aaron in the living room and then leaves to go and find Spencer. Only seconds later, he hears the hurried click of kitten heels on the wooden floor and internally cringes; if facing Derek was bad, facing Penelope will be infinitely more painful.
“Aaron Hotchner,” Penelope shouts before she’s even fully entered the living room, “I have never, and I mean never been more disappointed in you. I don’t think you fully appreciate how lucky you are. You may be my boss but that does not mean I will not chew you out when you screw up this bad. Anyone who makes my Spencer cry is in my bad books for at least two weeks. You are in the dog house, you understand me? The dog house.”
She’s thankfully cut off from continuing her rant by Spencer’s shy, hesitant appearance at the doorway. Penelope immediately rushes over and gives him a hug, whispering something in his ear that Aaron doesn’t catch but makes Spencer giggle. She reaches up to ruffle his hair before patting his cheek fondly and casting a furious glare in Aaron’s direction as she vacates the living room.
“Hi,” Aaron says softly, breaking the silence left in the wake of Storm Penelope. “I bought you a coffee.”
“What are you doing here, Aaron?” Spencer asks, clearly a little confused but still accepting the drink.
“I know you said that you’d come home this morning but I had to come and get you,” he replies, standing up from his seat on the couch and taking a few steps forward. “Look… your note last night, it was on top of this book. And in my absent-minded cloud of misery I was looking through it and came across Sonnet 116.”
A flicker of recognition lights up Spencer’s eyes as his face softens a little at the sight of his beloved book.
“Do you remember? Climbing into my lap on our one day wedding anniversary and reading it to me? Back then I was partly distracted by the gorgeous man in my arms but last night… Spencer, the words hit home in a way I haven’t felt before. Not to mention your annotations; I felt like I was reading a journal of our love story, which I know was probably your intention all along.” He shakes his head, trying to get back on track. “I’ve been an idiot, a rotten fool, and I’m so sorry. I emailed Cruz this morning.
“You did?” Spencer looks up, surprise filling his features for a second before a small, hopeful smile takes over. “What did you say?”
“That I couldn’t continue with the workload and I needed reinforcements. That I would work the same hours for two more weeks to allow them to find an adequate solution, but after that I’ll be reducing my hours to align almost directly with yours,” he says, tentatively gauging Spencer’s reaction.
It’s made pretty easy for him when Spencer’s hesitantly hopeful smile blossoms into a wide grin, relaxing his posture as relief overtakes his body and he throws himself into Aaron’s arms. Aaron buries his face into his husband’s curls and lets himself breathe easy, feeling infinitely better with Spencer wrapped up in his arms again, just where he belongs.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Aaron whispers as he pulls Spencer impossibly closer.
“I’m sorry, too,” Spencer sighs, nestling his face further into Aaron’s neck. “We both said things we shouldn’t have. But, you’re here now, and that’s what counts.”
“I love you, you know that?” Aaron murmurs, pulling away slightly so he can look Spencer in the eyes, trying to convey his sincerity as well as possible.
“I know,” he smiles. “I love you, too.”
“Come on, sweetheart,” Aaron says, patting Spencer’s side gently. “Let’s get out of here before Penelope comes to stab me with her high heels.”
Spencer giggles at that. “I don’t know, maybe, I’d like to see that,” he teases, digging his finger into Aaron’s ribs for good measure.
“Oh, stop it you,” Aaron smiles fondly before kissing the top of Spencer’s head, feeling happier in this moment than he’d ever thought possible again last night. Peace is finally restored in Aaron Hotchner’s heart, all thanks to one rather ancient English playwright and an academic for a husband. “Let’s go and get Jack,” he says, longing to have his whole family back together, to restore the equilibrium of a tumultuous few weeks.
Spencer leans down to kiss his shoulder as they walk out of the Morgan-Garcia household, and it’s enough to keep him warm the whole way home.
@strippersenseii @criminalmindsvibez
#hotchreid#my writing#hotchreid fic#hotchreid writing#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#aaron hotchner#spencer reid#aaron hotchner/spencer reid#aaron hotchner x spencer reid
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It hurts a little bit too much
'It’s time to grow up. I’m finally doing something that people enjoy! Something that people take time to pay attention to! Why can’t you understand that!'
Au August
Day/Prompt: Day 2 - Acting
Ship: Prinxiety, brief platonic moxiety
Word count: 1780
Cw: swearing / yelling (I'm sorry) / self-deprecation / crying / La la Land spoilers? (some people haven't watched it)
A/N: This is solely based on La La Land but I changed a few things that may change the direction of the story than what was actually in the film and this is my first time writing something angsty so forgive me angst gods </3 Also, Roman wants to be a Broadway actor but signed as a pop band singer instead. Virgil is still like Mia but not as headstrong
@tsshipmonth2020
Virgil has been with Roman for quite a while now. Roman has recently signed a contract for a pop band with his old friend, Janus, despite their doubt about the guy. Virgil wasn’t exactly pleased with what he witnessed when he was invited to one of his partner’s concerts. With the single confused tear left on the venue floor, Virgil has been worried since then about what Roman has gotten himself into.
~*~*~
Virgil was returning home after his dinner out with his friend, Patton; the only person keeping him stable since Roman left for… Boston? Maybe Dallas? He stopped keeping track a while ago.
When he reached the porch of their apartment, he hears the faint instrumental of ‘Only Us’ playing inside. He continues inside to see his partner setting up the table, his back facing him. “Roman?” The man suddenly drops the pot he’s holding on the table and turns to him. Roman let out a sigh of relief before flashing a small endearing smile to Virgil. “Surprise?” The taller man says in a small breathy voice, almost a whisper. “I have to leave in the morning but, I just had to see you,” he continues.
Virgil freezes for a moment before rushing to Roman, dropping everything he’s carrying, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck to kiss him. Roman wraps his arms around Virgil’s waist to keep them steady.
~*~*~
“I’m so glad to be home,” The taller man says with a smile. “Stay,” Virgil replies with a hopeful look; only to be returned with the same look from the other.
The pair are now seated at the dining table across from each other, instrumental music playing in the background.
“How’s your play? Hope you’re not too nervous,” Roman breathes out as he notices the other’s mood shift as he mentions the play. “You know me. I’m nervous about everything,” Virgil jokes with a chuckle. “Plus, what if people show up? I’m gonna perform in front of them. They’ll think I’m terrible,”
“Fuck ‘em” They laugh a little before Roman continues, ”They should be lucky to see it. It’s gonna be incredible. YOU’RE gonna be incredible. I can’t wait.” Virgil looks down on his food with a sad smile.
“I have to leave early tomorrow,” As much as Roman thinks that the statement sounds wrong when it left his lips, he doesn’t want Virgil to worry. “Boise, right?” Virgil inquires still looking at his food. Roman hums in agreement and continues, “You should come,”
“Wish I could. I still have to rehearse cuz’, we’re not all gifted in acting like a certain prince-like man I know,” Virgil teases with a smile. Roman chuckles, “Well, if you wanted me to help you, you could’ve just said so, darling,”
“I guess it’ll have to wait until you’re done with the tour,” Virgil replies with a forced smile. Roman’s face falls. “When are you done?” Virgil continues. “Uhm. Well, we’re only touring so we can make the record. After we’re done, we’re gonna record then, we go back to tour that record…” He trails off.
Virgil processes this information and decides to just let his brain talk. His heart is too soft for this conversation but, it can’t continue hurting for months. Or years.
“Do you like it?” Roman was caught off guard with the question and was confused with what Virgil meant. “The music, the band, the tour, singing on stage. Do you like it?” Virgil clarifies.
“I…” he trails off. “I don’t know how it matters,” Roman doesn’t like where this is going. All this time. All this touring. He thought it was what Virgil wanted him to do. Roman looks Virgil in the eyes, “Do you like the music?”
“I do. I just didn’t think you did…” The pair fell in uncomfortable silence, letting Virgil’s last statement linger between them.
“Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted me to do this. This is what we’ve been waiting for,” Roman is deep into confusion at this point. He’s been in this band for a while, he just wants to know why Virgil hasn’t anything before he signed on the dotted line that would seal his life.
Virgil sighed, “I just wanted to know where you’re theatre is gonna fit into all of this.” He said in such a small voice that, Roman wanted to just sweep Virgil off his feet to make everything better again. “There’s a reason why there are no theatres here because no one is like me. No one likes musicals here. Not even you,” Roman explained.
Virgil can’t take how pathetic Roman thinks of this entire situation. Yes, it’s Virgil that usually overthinks these things and, it’s not entirely impossible for Roman to as well but, this is just pure non-sense to Virgil. “I do like them now, because of you!” He blurted out with a slightly raised voice.
“Well, what am I supposed to do? Wait for you to be successful only for me to build something no one likes? It- It’s time to grow up. I’m finally doing something that people enjoy! Something that people take time to pay attention to! Why can’t you understand that!” Roman exclaimed, determined for Virgil to understand his point of view, not bothering to look at the other.
“Since when did you care about being liked? Why do you care so much about being liked-”
“You’re not an actor! How would you know?!” Roman immediately regrets his statement, knowing he doesn’t mean it. To him, Virgil is the greatest actor he has ever seen and, nothing would ever change that. He glances at Virgil and, sees the destruction his statement has caused slowly unfolding.
“No. No- I- I didn’t mean that, Virgil. I’m sorry. I promise it’s not true-” he tried to reverse his mistake but, to Virgil, the destruction has always been always there, this was just what he needed for everything to fall apart.
“Maybe you just liked me because I made you feel like a better actor,” Virgil stated blandly in a matter-of-fact manner. Roman knew that he was never better than Virgil, as an actor or not. He was heartbroken to hear that his partner thinks that he was just being used. His statement earlier was just a slip-up but this… What Virgil’s feeling is all his fault.
“Are you kidding?” Roman can’t bear to lose someone that he loves so much. Tears well up in his eyes, tempting to let them fall.
“No,” Virgil calmly replied, keeping a stern face.
Both of them, heartbroken, stared at each other, not letting go of what’s left between them.
But before any of them could say anything, Roman’s phone, which he left in the kitchen, rang. His ringtone echoing through the apartment. Roman sighs at the sound but doesn’t stand up. However, Virgil does and eyes for the door. Roman stays frozen for a moment before going after Virgil.
“Virgil, wait-” before he could continue, Virgil had already slammed the door.
~*~*~
You guys can use your imagination to fill in what happens after the argument up to before the next part.
But, if you haven’t watched La La Land, basically, Virgil did the one-man play and Roman didn’t show up and only a few people show up then, he goes back home to his parents in a different state, leaving everything behind. I think that’s all you need to know??
~*~*~
It’s been a few weeks since Virgil came home to his parents. He was devastated to see his old stuff and how hopeful he was to become an actor. Yet, he can’t bring himself to take it all down.
Virgil had abandoned his phone and his laptop to the very back of his closet and sticks to using his mp3 in the meantime. He has been needing some time to rethink his life decisions before facing the real world again. Leaving Roman to pick up whatever he left in Los Angeles.
He was finally enjoying peace and quiet for the first time in a while, until…
HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
~*~*~
“The fuck are you doing here?!” Virgil whisper-yelled as he walked towards the man, wondering what’s so important that Roman had to follow him all the way to another state.
“Thomas Sanders. The casting director. He was at your play-” Roman began. Just at the mention of the name, Virgil had become more troubled but hopeful at the same time.
“And he loved it so much, he wants you to audition for this HUGE-” Roman stated as he slammed his hand on his car for emphasis, startling Virgil a little. ”-huge movie that he’s got,” He continued with visible excitement.
Virgil shook his head with a little chuckle before running his hand over his mouth, “I- I can’t- I’m not going to that- That.. will kill me,” he continues to shake his head.
“WHAT?!” Roman exclaims, startling Virgil again. “What?! Shh shh! You have to be quiet cuz’ if my neighbors don’t call the police on you, I will,” He attempts to calm Roman down. “No. You have to make sense. You can’t stay here and be miserable for the rest of your life. You need to be reasonable here,” Roman persists.
“Because it’s just another goddamn audition!” Virgil explodes with all the hurt and anger he’s gathered through the years of auditioning for shows. “I’ve been to hundreds of auditions and it’s just the same thing over and over again! I’m sick of it! Yeah, sure, I get callbacks but, where does it end? Another fucking rejection! All of those countless hours of waiting for the phone to ring. Be- because maybe I’m not good enough,” Virgil pauses.
“I’ve been wanting this for years. And, now... Now that I don’t want it anymore. Now that I gave up on it. Another one fucking presents itself to what? Another rejection? I’m- I’m not giving myself another heartbreak, Roman. It hurts a little bit too much,” Virgil admits, already crying. It hurts Roman to see Virgil this way. He’s seen Virgil become so passionate about his play, he needs to let him see that this is not ‘just another audition,’ it’s the reward his hard work is all for. He needs to know.
“You’re a baby,” Roman bluntly states. “Maybe I am,” He couldn’t continue arguing anymore. “But, you said it’s time to grow up. And, I’m doing that so, why won’t you help me?” Virgil continues.
“You have an audition at 5:30. I’ll pick you up at 8,” as much as Roman wants Virgil to grab this chance, he can’t force him to if he doesn’t really want to. He loves him too much for that. At least he tried. “You’ll be out front or not. I don’t know,” Roman continues as he gets in his car and drives off, leaving Virgil standing in the middle of the road, staring at the library in front of him. The library that once helped him set his path to acting.
~*~*~
Perhaps Virgil was out front at 7:30 and got accepted in the audition.
Perhaps he wasn’t.
Told ya I'm not good at angst ;-;
#TSSAUgust#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#sanders sides au#thomas sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#ts virgil#ts roman#prinxiety#ts prinxiety#em writes
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Thievery and Mischief (a marvel/ descendants crossover)
TW: (applies for series: discussions and mentions of rape, underaged sex, cheating, suicide, mental health)
AN: hi! this is a work in progress fanfic i’m uploading in advance of 15 chapters, so please show this some love, also sorry in advance for typos and spelling errors, my grammar is shit ;/ please enjoy!
I was so young. Too young. I didn’t understand why anything happened. I grew up in Agrabah with my parents and my brother, Aziz. But it wasn’t the dream vacation destination everyone in Auradon sought it out to be. It was a wreck. Jafar and Hades had invaded Agrabah and fought against my parents for revenge. Agrabah was damaged after their attack and our government had struggle to repair itself. So we had to live in a semi-permanent safe home for quite some time. By the way, I was also cursed by Jafar as a kid and I could shape shift into a tiger and develop other powers in the future. In my home, Mom was always stressed. Yelling and screaming how we needed to be better than they were to protect our city, especially me with my powers. My brother and I both took fencing classes, martial arts, learn how to shoot, every survival skill in the books before taking boys and girl Royal etiquette classes. Mom was the one who was particularly hard on me and my older brother throughout our childhood. Dad, not so much. He spent a lot of time in meetings in Auradon City. That’s how my first friendships began. He was great friends with King Adam and Queen Belle, elected leaders of Auradon. Ben, their only child was shy around me at first. He was intimidated by my mature stature. He like horses, painting, books, and food. I liked singing, fencing, and dancing but I also had a love for food and books so we got along through those things. We would always talk about the different ingredients in our cultures foods. His French pastries and my Arabian comfort foods. We were an inseparable pair of friends. And then I was introduced to Audrey. She joined our group soon after King Adam and Belle has decided to promise my parents and Audrey’s parents to a trust bond. A promise that would have one of us marry in the future. 9 year old me definitely didn’t want ANYTHING to do with dating my best friend. Neither did Ben. But Audrey, she was so persistent. She would constantly try to grab his attention. She was such a cheeky little girl. Raised to be such a lady compared to my more loose and carefree attitude. Somehow, Ben was happy around her. Our group soon expanded, and I met the greatest person ever. Li Lonnie, my greatest friend ever. Daughter of Fa Mulan and Li Shang, she was like me. Mature, strong, intelligent, and such a beautiful kid. Sure, she didn’t have my hazel eyes but she was such a pretty girl. She spoke so intelligently and when she spoke it was law. She was one of my inspirations as a kid. And still is :)
Time passed and we realized we weren’t kids anymore. My brother had to go away to a school in Auradon. And I was alone soon again. But I had my friends. But my child-like manners went away when I realized it was soon my turn to go to Auradon. So, I ran away. But you’ll hear more about that in the future.
Freshman year of high school. Audrey and Ben has broken off from our group and started dating in High School. Audrey has changed so much. She was such a sweet girl with a big heart but had begun to morph into a self-absorbed teen. Lonnie was still the same kind-hearted best friend. When I arrived in Auradon, I had a familiar face to help me. My cousin, Jordan. Daughter of the Genie. Everyone in that school was so nice that it hurt. My mother had raised me not to believe everything in front of me. But one particular thing or something changed that. A blonde boy with short curly hair and beautiful blue eyes had captured my attention. I still remember when our eyes had locked for the first time in the school courtyard. It was a whole new experience for me. I suddenly felt happy inside. Like a new found confidence in me was discovered. But my cousin Jordan advised me not to approach the boy. Chad Charming, son of Prince Charming and Cinderella. The most popular boy at Auradon Prep. Every girl would fawn over him endlessly. One day I had found a note from him on my lunch tray to meet him in the gardens. I swear we talked for hours about everything. We talked about our dreams, our experiences, our hopes. He made all my dreams happen. I wanted my first date to be at a carnival and he made that happen. I wanted something from the mall and he got it for me. I thought everything with him was just fine. Until that party. Ben had thrown a party for all his friends at Auradon Prep and Chad and I were there. Everyone was drinking except me. Imagine, prestigious kids of Royalty breaking illegal drinking laws. I didn’t know at the time but the punch was spiked heavily with Vodka. I never drank Vodka after that damn party. Jane, the headmistress, Fairy Godmother’s daughter had come to my dorm crying. She kept saying “I can’t take this anymore”. She had gave me the worst news of my life. She had seen Chad take me upstairs while I was drunk and touch me in explicit manners. Essentially, my boyfriend decided to rape me at my best friend’s party. I was sickened by that. And when my family pressed charges and got a restraining order on him, the case ended in a settlement. He didn’t even serve time. Because the judge was a family friend of the Charmings. I was devastated. I cried for weeks. I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. I just cried. Lonnie visited me every day while I was out of school. She had told me that Chad had moved on and was doing perfectly fine. I was miserable for all of Sophmore year.
By the way, my name is Adri Ababwa and I’m the world’s stupidest masterpiece. But you’ll see why later.
------------------------------------------------------------
“Adri,” My best friend, Ben called out.
My eyes widen, suddenly alarmed from my name being called.
“What’s up?” I say striding over to Ben’s side as he looks out the window of his parlor.
”I spoke with my parents about the proclamation,” Ben says.
I roll my eyes, realizing what’s about to happen.
”I told you your idea was stupid. Your dad would never let you bring Villain kids over-“
”They approved it,” Ben says, stopping me between my sentence.
My eyes widen in disbelief.
“Oh. Oh! I guess that’s good for you I guess,” I say nervously.
Ben takes both of my hands in his.
”Listen, I know things were rough for you last year, but this year we need change in this world. And I’m gonna be the one to establish that change,” Ben says.
”Even if that means bringing the daughters of Maleficent and the Evil Queen and the sons of Cruella de Vil and Jafar to Auradon Prep?” I ask nervously.
”What did I say about that?” Ben asks cheekily.
”They’re not their parents,” I reply in a mumble.
”Right,” Ben says, patting my shoulder. Ben opens his mouth to say something but hesitates.
”What?” I ask.
”That‘s why your going to be my advisor,” Ben says.
I take a step back.
”Your crazy but okay,” I giggle.
Ben chuckles softly and goes to the phone to ask his secretary if Audrey is on her way to the room for her Coronation fitting.
I walk through the door and wish Ben good luck.
As I stride down the hall, I hop onto my sticker filled skateboard and race down the halls. I greet the guards surrounding the castle and slide the down the handlebars of the stairs. I see Audrey and stop to walk the rest of the way.
”Adri! It’s a pleasure to see after so long. Out of your depression, I see,” Audrey says snarkily.
”Sure! I’m fine. And I see your makeup is looking as creased as ever,” I reply in the same fashion.
Audrey huffs and rolls her eyes.
I strut off.
”Fucking bitch,” I mutter to myself, hopping on my skateboard and skating back to my dorm.
As soon as I reach my dorm, Fairy Godmother is standing by my door.
“Can you please give me the board?” Fairy Godmother asks.
”Can’t have any fun around here, can I?” I ask, giving her my board for the fifth time this week
“Not for the first week of school. Remember we have-“
”Press coming in to report on the school, I know Jane told me,” I say at the same time as Fairy Godmother.
“Good. Then I’ll see you soon,” Fairy Godmother says dismissing herself.
I turn around and head for the courtyard where I spot Jordan under our gossip tree.
”What’s new, pinky-Lou?” I ask.
”Hey, cuz. Just doing some newspaper projects. I writing about the secret camera web series of our school and the new kids coming to the Isle,” Jordan says.
”Damn, news does travel fast,” I scoff.
”Ben posted an announcement a couple minutes ago,” Jordan says.
I roll my eyes in disbelief.
“What if one of them is cute? You gonna go for it?” Jordan asks cheekily.
”HELL NO. I am never making the same mistake of opening up to a person ever again,” I yell.
”It’s gonna happen...” Jordan says in a song-like manner.
”Shut the fuck up!” I say.
The night I sneak out of my dorm and go to the kitchens to get a snack for Roxie, my baby tiger.
”Insomnia?” A voice says behind me.
I’m startled by the voice and I turn to see Lonnie standing over the counter.
”Yes, you asshole,” I sigh.
Lonnie laughs silently.
”You know someone’s gonna find out that it’s you recording the videos at lunch,” I say.
”Stop it. That’s top secret,” Lonnie says.
”Who cares? Everyone knows that they’re asshole and dickheads anyways. And your very lucky that I haven’t ratted you out to Jordan. She’s persistent,” I say, grabbing some bacon from the fridge and putting it in a pan
”That’s for Roxie, right?” Lonnie asks.
”Maybe not,” I say.
Lonnie laughs and I take a piece of cooked bacon and put it in my mouth.
I hum softly at the taste.
”Hey. Don’t be afraid to talk to me sometimes. Especially after what I saw,” Lonnie says.
Ah. The thing. After some time in my self-quarantine of Sophmore year, I decided it was time for everything in my life to end. So, I grabbed some pills and I did something I regretted. Lonnie saved my life that day. That’s why I love her so much.
“I know, mama,” I say softly as I cook the rest of the bacon.
”You have no idea how much I care, Adri,” Lonnie says, hugging me from behind me.
”Thats probably why I love when you’re around,” I chuckle.
Lonnie lays her head on my shoulder.
”By the way I signed ya up for the welcoming comitee with Audrey,” Lonnie whispers.
”What!” I yell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks later...
Someone starts banging heavily on my door. I open my eyes and the sound in my ears clears.
”ADRI! Wake up! Your late for the Vk’s welcoming,” Audrey screams from behind my door.
Maybe I should have stayed asleep. Damn you, Lonnie.
I put on this:
pin.it/5uiV7hV
And I walked out my door.
“Ben shouldn’t have made you his advisor if you were gonna sleep in,” Audrey says.
”I’m here aren’t I?” I reply.
”Shut up, let’s go,” Audrey says, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the stairs to the courtyard.
Oh god this is gonna be terrible.
Ben sees me and Audrey coming up next to him.
”What happened to you?” Ben asks.
”Slept in,” I mumble.
Ben chuckles and Audrey takes his arm.
”It’s fine by the way, it’s actually the first time in a while,” Ben says.
Fairy Godmother begins to greet everyone in the small group of band kids and cheerleaders until she reaches our trio.
”Ben, Audrey, Adri, how are you?” Fairy Godmother.
“Good,” We all say.
The limo pulls up and the band starts playing. The limo stops and two boys pop out fighting over a scarf.
My eyes glance towards to girls who come out of the other side of the car. One has short plum hair with a plum leather outfit to match. The other girl has long wavy blue hair with two crown braids at the front.
“Why do you want whatever this is?” One of the boys with gray hair says.
”Because you want it,” The other boy in a red beanie says.
Right off the bat you notice who’s who. And the boy in the beanie is definitely Jafar’s son.
“Leave it where you found it! And by that, just leave it.” Fairy Godmother says.
”Just cleaning up!” The boy with the red beanie says.
He puts the scarf back in the limo and his eyes immediately catch mine.
He catches me as I stare at his frame. His brown hair, his dark brown eyes, his muscular form and his leather outfit all catch me off guard.
His frown turns into a smirk and he strides towards me.
”Hello, foxy~ The name’s...Jay,” The boy introduces, attempting to flirt with me.
I laugh softly at his action.
”Your quite the catch aren’t you?” I remark with a smirk.
“Welcome to Auradon Prep,” Fairy Godmother says, stepping between us.
I whisper a little thank you to her and she nods.
”I’m Fairy Godmother, the headmistress,” She curtsies.
”As in, the Fairy Godmother? Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo?” The girl with plum hair asks.
”Bibbidi-Bobbidi, you know it,” Fairy Godmother says.
“Does she ramble like this much?” I ask Ben.
”All the damn time,” Ben says.
We snicker in unison.
Audrey nudges Ben.
”It’s so nice to meet you all. I’m Ben,” Ben introduces.
”Prince Ben. Soon to be King, right Bennyboo?” Audrey interjects.
I fake-vomit at the nickname and roll my eyes.
”You had me at Prince. My mom’s a queen so that makes me a princess,” The blue haired girl says, fawning over Ben.
”The Evil Queen has no Royal status here and neither do you,” Audrey smiles cheekily.
”Yes she does, otherwise Snow White would cease to be Royalty and she is her step-sister,” I comment with a smile.
Audrey raises a brow to stop me and I wink in the girl’s direction. She gives me a smile in return.
”This is Audrey. My-“
”Girlfriend. And future queen,” Audrey says.
”Last but not least, this is Adri. My advisor and my best friend,” Ben says.
”Your new wickedly cool best friend,” I say with a smirk.
”These three are going to show you all around and I’ll see all tomorrow. The doors of wisdom are never shut! Except library hours are 8:00 to 11:00 and you know I have a thing for curfew,” Fairy Godmother says, excusing herself.
”She tends to drag things out of proportion. Don’t mind her,” I say.
Ben chuckles and Audrey nudges his arm.
“It is so, so, so good to finally me... meet you all,” Ben starts as Jay hits his chest with a light punch.
“ This is a momentous occasion, and one that I hope will go down in history... Is that chocolate?” Shaking the gray haired boy’s hand that is covered in chocolate.
”As the day our two peoples began to heal,” Ben finishes.
“Or the day where you showed four peoples where the bathrooms are,” The plum haired girl says.
“A little over the top?” Ben asks her.
”More than a little,” She says.
”So much for my first impression,” Ben says awkwardly.
“You're Maleficent's daughter, aren't you? Yeah, you know what? I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff. Oh, my mom's Aurora. Sleeping...“ Audrey starts.
”Beauty! Yeah I’ve heard the name. You know, I totally do not blame your grandparents for not inviting my mother to their stupid christening,” The girl responds.
”Water under the bridge!” Audrey fakes.
”Totes!” The girl replys in the same tone.
They laugh together pathetically.
“Jeez, can we get this over with?“ I scoff.
” OK. So how about a tour, yeah?“ Ben starts.
We start to move towards the front of the school.
“Auradon Prep was originally built 300 years ago before my father turned it into a high school when he was elected King,” Ben says, clapping his fingers to morph the statue.
The gray haired boy jumps into Jay’s arms.
”Carlos, it’s okay. My father made the statue to remind us that anything is possible,” Ben addresses.
I laugh at the boy’s banter. Jay sees this and drops Carlos to the floor. I can feel him lurking by me as we continue inside the school.
“ So do you guys have magic here? You know, like wands and stuff?” Mal asks.
“All that stuffs pretty much retired. Most of us are just ordinary mortals,” Ben says.
”Unlike me. I was cursed so...” I say clicking my tongue.
”And you happen to be kings and queens?“
“That’s true. Our royal blood goes back hundreds and hundreds of years,“ Audrey says, placing an arm around Ben.
”Doug,” Ben calls Dopey’s son down.
“Doug, will be showing you to your dorms. If you have any questions-“
”Ask Adri or Doug,” Audrey says, whisking him away.
“Um, hey guys. Hi, guys. I'm Dopey's son. As in Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and... Heigh-ho.,” Doug starts, his eyes landing on the blue haired girl.
I take the clipboard from him and read their names.
”Mal Bertha. Evie Grimhilde. Carlos De Vil. Jay Farr,” I read to myself.
I interrupt Doug as he talks about classes.
”I’ll be showing you to your dorms,” I say, walking up one staircase.
”Guys, it’s actually this way,” Doug points towards me as the go in the wrong direction.
They follow me until we stop at their dorm rooms.
”Boys, you have the larger dorm here,” I point.
”Sweet!” Carlos says, hopping inside.
”What’s in it?” Jay asks, me
”Two full size beds, a flat screen tv, mini fridge, 3D printer, gaming console, a bathroom for two, fireplace, and double closet,” I say off the top of my head.
”Thank god, that’s enough to keep them busy for hours,” Mal says.
Me and the girls turn away from their room but someone places a hand on my shoulder.
”Hey, can we talk after?” Jay asks.
”Why?” I ask, raising a brow.
Jay gives me a pleading looks and I roll my eyes, walking away.
”Girls, this is your dorm. With roughly the same things as the boys except a bigger closet and bathroom and no gaming console,” I say.
”This room needs more-“
”Purple? I supposed you would agree. Love your outfit by the way,” I compliment.
”You don’t look to horrible yourself,” Mal smirks.
”I made it by the way,” Evie adds.
“Fashion Designer, huh? You could make some bank with that,” I comment.
Evie smiles.
”If you need anything, I’m the first door down the hall,” I say.
I close the door to the girls dorm and turn to see someone completely unexpected. My smile turns into a frown as I see Chad Charming at the end of the hall. As I try and stride down the hall to Jay and Carlos’s room, his gaze meets mine.
”Well, well. Look who it is. Little miss court case,” Chad says, his lips curving into a smirk.
”Your lucky my restraining order is expired, Charming,” I snark as he draws near to me.
”You know, you’re lucky Ben and Lonnie are friends with you. Otherwise, everyone here wouldn’t give a damn about your little charity case,” Chad says cockily, running a hand through my hair.
My body tenses and my teeth clench as he touches my hair.
“Don’t do that,” I say through my clenched jaw.
”Or what?” Chad says, pinning me against the wall. His frame towering over me.
”You gonna sue me again just so that I could give your pathetic ass more money?” Chad asks.
”Get your fucking hands off of her,” A voice says from behind Chad.
I look over Chad’s shoulder to see Jay standing behind him with a scowl on his face.
I can practically feel my eyes change shape, pleading to Jay to help me.
Chad gets off of me and walks towards Jay confronting him.
”Is that a threat?” Chad asks.
”You gonna punch me if it is, Princey? You know, you probably shouldn’t mess with someone you barely know. I’m sure it’ll have serious consequences,” Jay growls.
Chad backs off, intimidated by Jay.
”Whatever, man,” Chad scoffs, taming a step back.
He turns to me, his smirk returning.
”I’ll see you later, babe,” Chad says, winking at me.
He walks away and I can practically feel the tears coming to my eyes.
”Who the hell does he think he is?” Jay scoffs.
My legs start to move down the hall, trying to get away.
”Hey! Where are you going?” Jay calls behind me.
”Leave me alone!” I choke.
Jay’s footsteps chase after me and he grabs my wrist.
”Stay out of my business and leave me the hell alone,” I say in a serious tone.
”What was that about though? And why do you look like your about to cry in any second?” Jay asks deliberately.
I growl under my breath.
”Because he’s my abusive ex-boyfriend who raped me while I was blacked out at Ben’s party! And now everyone pities the hell out of me and treats me like a child because I tried to commit suicide. Is that what you’re so desperate to get out of me?” I yell.
Jay is taken aback by my words. His brown eyes widen as he looks at me. Searching through my eyes and seeing the pain in them.
”Shit, I’m so sorry. Look, I will never ever do that to you ever again,” Jay says, concerned by my action.
”Listen, don’t make promises you know you can’t keep,” I say.
Jay turns to leave but I grab his wrist.
”You forgot you tell me what you wanted to speak about,” I say with a smirk.
Jay scratches his neck nervously.
”Sorry. I was just so concerned about the way that guy was talking to you that I didn’t even realize,” Jay explains.
I chuckle lightly at his concern. How is he so chill after that? After I just yelled at him?
“I was just wondering if I could learn a little more about you. I mean-since we know a little bit about Ben and Audrey so,” Jay says.
I giggle lightly at his question. Then I hesitate, remembering this is the son of my parent’s enemy. But suddenly, my new found confidence tells me “Fuck it”.
”Well, I’ve lived in Auradon for 3 years. I like Art a lot. And um, I’m the daughter of Aladdin and Jasmine,” I say shyly.
Jay erupts in a light chuckle. My brows furrow at his actions.
”Did I say something wrong?” I ask.
”No, but that does explain everything,” Jay says with a smirk.
”Explain what exactly?” I ask, confused by his action.
”The comebacks, the way you roll your eyes, the outfit, and the way you act around danger. You have that “I really don’t give and shit sometimes attitude”. I’m assuming it’s family trait,” Jay laughs.
I roll my eyes at his banter.
”Sure, dipshit. And you know wanna know what gives you away?” I ask cheekily.
”What?” Jay says, playing along.
”The fact that you prance around me, eyeing me just like your father did to my mother when she was my age,” I say with a smirk.
His eyes widen, catching him off guard.
”And I promise you, your little concerned or flirtatious act isn’t gonna always cut it with me, pretty boy,” I say, tapping his shoulder and turning to leave.
I look behind me and see him smirk behind me as I walk to my dorm.
That boy is gonna keep trying to win me over. And I’m in for the long game...
#descendants#marvel#jay farr#descendants jay#mal#evie#carlos#jay#ben#lonnie#jane#descendants novels#mcu#original character#oc#fanfiction#descendants x oc#marvel x oc
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Omg just thought of a request! New Year’s Eve related!! How about y/n is on tour with the boys as like a singer or 8th member and her and one of the boys (vocal line? Heh) have been flirting and kissing NON STOP all tour and y/n gives up on him because she saw him talking to other girls and thinks she can’t compare and that he’s just conveniently using her for affection because she’s there. She runs away and the boys try to find her and The boy finally confessed to them at midnight 🥰
Pairing: Jimin x f.Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Idol!AU
Wordcount: 1.4k
a/n: Why did that make me lowkey sad? lmaooa my single ass can’t relate sad 🤧 anyways this is going to be my last story of 2019. Happy New Years everyone, I love you and see you next year (höhöhöhö) 😂💜
Only a few more seconds and the champagne glass would probably shatter in your hands. You are clasping it, basically choking it to death in your hands all whilst imagining it was the girl’s throat Jimin is currently talking to. Well, basically eye fucking her if you were being honest. He is leaned against the wall with one of his arms, a teasing smirk is on his lips as he lets his eyes travel over the girl’s body. She is telling him something, probably a story of her boring childhood. He laughs, throwing his head back. Or not so boring in Jimins eyes.
“Why do you look as miserable as sin?” Seokjin asks, having walked up to you just seconds ago.
“It’s nothing”, you grumble, staring down Jimin and the now giggling girl. What was she laughing about? Oh, your blood is boiling at this point.
“So it’s not Jimin currently hitting up that girl over there?”
You finally look away from Jimin to send Seokjin an annoyed stare instead.
“Why would that bother me?”
“Because you guys are basically dating at this point, duh?” Seokjin raises one of his eyebrows, signaling you if it wasn’t obvious enough.
You scoff, feeling annoyed.
“Not according to Jimin we aren’t”, you mumble and down the rest of the sparkling alcohol in one go. You grimace at the taste.
“Need another glass?” Jungkook suddenly asks with two filled-to-the-brim glasses of champagne.
You take the bigger one and gulp it down in one go. You point at the other glass. Jungkook looks at you, almost offended, moving it closer to his chest protectively.
“Give me that damn glass I need it more than you”, you growl.
“Why? I want to get wasted too. I waited ten minutes at the bar to get that”, he whines still not giving up the glass despite your hands pulling at it with all of your might.
“She and Jimin have some weird couple fight tonight, just hand her the champagne Jungkook. I will get you another one”, Seokjin explains, earning the most venomous look ever from you.
“We aren’t a couple for christ’s sake, stop calling us like that if we aren’t!” you have your voice raised.
The glass of champagne is already forgotten.
Seokjin and Jungkook exchange a quick look, both of them clearly taken aback by your sudden angry outburst.
“No need to snap at me like that”, Seokjin mumbles with furrowed brows.
“If you stop calling us a couple and giving me some sense of false hope I will.”
“Sense of false hope?” Jungkook asks.
“You wouldn’t understand”, you murmur almost too quiet to be understood in the loud music.
You try to escape from them, turning your back to them to disappear into the crowd of people, but they don’t let you, catching up with you when you are mere feet away from Jimin and the girl.
“Don’t run away from us ___. You need to tell us what is going one between you and Jimin!” Seokjin yells over the loud music.
You cringe, directly making eye contact with Jimin when Seokjin says the last part. Jimin had heard you, now staring at you and the others with big eyes. He looks baffled.
“No I don’t. There is nothing to talk about anyways”, you say loudly to make sure Jimin is able to hear ever single word of what you were saying.
He swallows, his jaw clenches in anger. For a moment the two of you are staring each other down, too angry at the other to make a move.
“Oh, awkwaaaard”, Seokjin whispers into Jungkook’s ear. The latter agrees with a nod of his head and gulps down his champagne in two goes.
“I’m going, this party is stupid”, you tell them and then you are gone from their side, walking to the exit without once breaking eye contact with Jimin.
He doesn’t even have a reason to stare so angrily at you, you aren’t the one basically hitting up everything that moves. No you were waiting for him the whole night, drinking just enough alcohol to keep your mind clean for anything Jimin wants to do to you but still enough to be giddy. And what did he do? Getting wasted in the first hour of that stupid new year’s party and then talking with every goddamn girl in the room. Every girl but you. And there you were actually thinking that your countless make-out sessions and late night cuddle dates during tour meant something.
The streets are busy with drunk people celebrating the end of the decade. The whole city is happy, colourful, filled with life and laughter. How else shall people start the “Roaring 20s 2.0” other than celebrating it until the sun greets a new day? Normally you would be one of them, greeting the new decade with open arms, but not anymore. You are miserable, wandering through a foreign city far from home, shivering from the cold and bleeding internally from having your heart broken.
“Just five more minutes until the new decade starts!” a man somewhere on the other side of the street screams. A roar of applause and cheer follows.
The air is vibrating around from the excitement of the other people. People are making-out already, pressing their bodies together and hugging each other close. You gag. Disgusting.
You just want to be at home, bundled up in three thick blankets and crying your sorrows away. Why do you have to develop feelings for Jimin? “Friends-with-benefits and nothing more”, that’s what he told you when the two of you started making-out a year ago. But of course your stupid heart has to fall for his lovable ass.
Someone grasps your wrists rather roughly all of a sudden, making you stumble backwards. Great and now some crazy fan has found you and is going to force themselves on you, you think as you get turned around on your heels. However there is no salivating, crazy stalker waiting for you, but rather your band mates looking at you with worry in their eyes.
Jimin’s eyes are filled with regret, his lips are pouting, his grip around your wrist loosens.
“Why did you run away like that? We need to start the new decade together”, he asks, cupping your cheek like he always does when he is worried for you.
“Oh, so now I’m good enough for you? When you have flirted yourself through every girl in that club, you come crawling back to me?”
The others take a step back, wanting to give the two of you your privacy.
“What? No it’s not like that”, Jimin defends himself.
“Really? What else is it then? Did none of the girls want to fuck you?”
“No princess, of course not.”
The nickname makes your skin crawl and your stomach sick. You wiggle out of his touch, slapping his hands away from your face.
“Don’t call me princess. It gives me some sort of false hope that there could be more between us then just sex when there is none.”
“Princess, baby, please listen to me”, Jimin begs, taking your hands into his once more. He is so soft and gentle with you right now, it nearly makes you want to forgive him already. You shouldn’t be so weak for a man, what happened to that strong confident woman you were?
“No I don’t want to anymore. I don’t want to start the new decade by hoping for some happy ending with you. Just go back to your girls and leave me alone”, you spit.
You free yourself of his grasp, turning your back to him and walk away. He doesn’t need to see you start crying over him like a little girl.
“But I don’t want to start the new decade with some random girl, I want to start it with you, the woman I’m madly in love with”, he yells.
You stop abruptly. This can’t be happening.
“I love you ___. I love you so goddamn much that I thought making you jealous by talking to other girls tonight would make you realise you love me just as much!”
His hands touch your shoulders, eliciting goosebumps where he touches you. You twist around.
“I wasn’t even able to imagine that maybe you were already feeling the same thing anyways. I’m so sorry”, his voice is laced with regret. His eyes glisten from tears, his lips tremble.
“Please let me start this new decade as your boyfriend”, he begs.
People around you cheer, cars honk and loud music rings through the street.
“Five! Four! Three!”
Two more seconds left in this decade. The people around you are screaming in excitement.
But you only have eyes for Jimin, feeling like time has stopped right this moment. Nothing was important anymore, nothing except the man in front of you.
“Two!”
Everyone is holding their breath.
“One! Happy New Year!”
You kiss him just as the clock hits midnight and the fireworks go off on the clear sky above your heads.
#jimin angst#jimin fluff#jimin drabble#jimin fanfic#jimin fanfiction#jimin x reader#jimin x you#bts angst#bts fluff#bts drabble#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts x reader#bts x you#bangtan angst#bangtan fluff#bangtan drabble#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan x reader#bangtan x you#requested#drabble asks
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i. the first 45 seconds of your life
the here and now;
sequel to another certain time and place
(read the full series in my masterlist)
i. the first 45 seconds of your life
the one where they begin
wc: 2,776
warnings: smut (oral), burnt chicken & fading time
---
“I’m in love with you.”
Her whole body freezes in place, and she isn’t quite sure what to say or do or any of that because her mind is too busy short circuiting over the words that just came out of Shawn’s mouth.
She continues to stare blankly at him while Shawn’s eyes search her face for any kind of recognition of his words. He’s only met with a blank stare in her eyes, and the color systematically draining out of her face. She tilts her head, and he thinks she’s about to say something but she stops herself. Finally, her brows furrow, and it’s the first sign of life he’s seen in her face in the last forty-five seconds since he dropped those final words.
“I’m in love with you too,” she says. And the world is right again.
---
Their world had been a cotton candy cloud of happiness, making their friends vomit at their disgusting love for each other, and spending a lot of time in the bedroom (and the kitchen, and the shower, and the sofa…).
Being in love, rules, Shawn thinks while he watches her precisely put on her mascara in the bathroom vanity mirror. He smiles when her mouth opens ever so slightly in that little O-shape that he knows she can’t help. She leans back to stand up straight and blinks twice, dabbing away an imprint of black on the tops of her cheek.
“If you keep standing there and staring I might press charges,” she says, turning her head to him and smiling.
“Yeah?” he says, folding his arms across his chest while he leans against the doorframe of the bathroom, “What kind of charges are we talking?”
She pops her lips, swiping a bit of gloss along her bottom lip, “well, definitely for being a creep, and slightly obsessed with me.”
“Not at all a lie,” Shawn grins.
She twists the tube of her gloss tight, “and probably being super hella cute and a giant fucking cheeseball.”
She trails across the bathroom on her tiptoes to him, leaving a sticky, shiny, strawberry scented lip print on his cheek, “and for definitely having the best dick in Toronto.”
Shawn’s sloppy smile widens across his face and then fades, “wait, how many dicks in Toronto have you seen?”
His girlfriend shimmies past him and into their shared bedroom. She’s more or less moved in with him over the past few weeks. He swears it’s a quicker commute for her to work (it’s not) and that his coffee shop is better than hers (maybe it is, but it also costs double the price on this side of town). She always keeps two extra work outfits in his closet, and a spare toothbrush, just in case. He even bought the same shampoo and conditioner as her so she can always be ready to spend the night.
Shawn watches her dress, observing as her hands smooth out the wrinkles in the skirt of her dress, turning in the mirror to make sure it falls the right way. She tucks on a pair of heels and stands in front of the mirror, taking in a deep breath to hold herself high and proud before releasing it and relaxing her shoulders.
“I don’t want to go to work today.”
Shawn stands and wraps his arms around her from behind, “too bad, one of us has to pay the bills around here,” he kisses a bit of her exposed shoulder and then rests his chin on it to look at her through the mirror, “just know if you do need to quit your job, I can help you out in the meantime.”
She rolls her eyes and slithers out of his grasp, “not everyone gets to do what they love at twenty-one, Shawn. Just because I hate my job now doesn’t mean I’m going to hate it forever. It’s a good stepping stone, I have to pay my dues before I can get to where I want to be.”
“I know that, babe,” he leans against the dresser beside them, “I just don’t like seeing you miserable.”
She rolls her eyes again, “I’m not miserable Shawn. Far from it. But I will be miserable if you don’t get me a bottle of wine and some takeout tonight,” she gives him a peck on the lips, “now I really have to go.”
It’s a pretty mundane Friday for Shawn when she leaves. He goes to the gym, eats breakfast, drinks his coffee, takes a shower, does some laundry. It’s mundane and everyday and routine But it’s so fucking nice to be bored every once and a while. Although he was never bored with her. Sure, they could be bored, laying on the couch scrolling through their phones and not saying anything, but so long as she was there, he was never bored.
Mundane was a nice sort of calm between being in a different city every night and sleeping on a cramped bus with three other people. But time was getting away from them, he thought about the last weeks they had together, alone. They had four more days before the next leg of tour started and he had to leave her behind. Neither had spoken about it, they just watched as the sand in the hour glass dwindled and they weren’t ready for the next two months apart. Sure, they’d done it before as friends, but it was different now. Shawn had never felt such a cosmic closeness to someone before, his body was different when she wasn’t around.
On the other side of Toronto, she drags her feet into the office building she regrets to call work. It’s not all bad, except for her bitchy boss and coworkers who love nothing more than to make her feel inadequate. But she constantly reminds herself how lucky she is to be here, and that this situation isn’t permanent.
At lunchtime, a deliveryman stops at her cubicle with a sunflower floral arrangement. She plucks up the card and of course they’re from Shawn. She giggles at the message he’s written her and blushes when she thinks about the poor person at the florist shop that had to write it.
Hey sexy!
I hope your Friday is as wonderful as you are. I already miss you even though you just left. I can’t wait to see you tonight and eat you out like four times. See you soon.
Shawn (aka love daddy)
She covers her mouth to stifle a snort and arranges the flowers on her desk. The rest of the day comes easy with the promise of coming home to Shawn. What she wasn’t looking forward to was his departure in four days. He’d finally (sort of) given up on asking her to come with him on tour. It was terrible timing and would put too much of a dent in her life right now - it just wasn’t cohesive. It was the last leg, so the worst of it was over and she had to remember that there were only a few more months to go until he was home in time for the holidays.
Of course, there would be more tours, award shows, promo, trips to the studio, music videos, and everything else that came with being Shawn that would keep them away. But their cotton candy cloud was too big and sweet right now to burst.
---
Her insides scream sweet relief when the clock stikes 5pm and it’s time to go home to Shawn. She mutters obscenities to herself as she wrestles with the oversized floral arrangement on her walk home. Luckily it’s not far and when the elevator door opens to his floor she’s met with the smell of something burning and a smoke alarm blaring.
Shawn tried to cook again.
“Oh honey you’re already home!” He coughs as he tries to clear the smoke in the kitchen by waving an oven mit and dish towel around.
She chuckles and sets the flowers on the counter as the scent of burnt chicken fills her nostrils. She sees the sizzling, smoky pan in the sink with what looks like charcoal stuck onto it.
“You really didn’t have to,” she laughs, “in fact, please don’t ever do it again.”
His arms stop waving and he pouts. The alarm finally silences and Shawn shakes his head to clear the ringing in his ears, “I was just trying to do something nice.”
She hops off the chair of the kitchen island and saunters towards him, placing a hand on his chest, “while I appreciate the effort, you are completely helpless in the kitchen. But I still love you for it.”
“I guess I can’t be good at everything,” he says, swishing a layer of invisible hair over his shoulder.
She punches his shoulder, “so what should we have? Pizza or Chinese?”
He gets that look in his eye, “I’d rather have you first.”
She squeaks when the cold granite countertop hits the backs of her thighs. Shawn’s mouth is on her before she has a half second to process what’s happening. He’s been waiting for her all day ever since he came across a pair of her black lacy underwear while doing laundry. He couldn’t get the image of the way they sit across her hips out of his fucking head since lunchtime and now that she was home he couldn’t wait to devour her.
His lips are fast and hungry against hers. She contorts her body a little in an attempt to pull off her heels, Shawn’s hand grabs her wrist, “keep them on,” he says with a bite to her ear, he kisses down the hollow part of her throat and across her chest to just where her dress crosses her breasts in a V-shape, “and lay back.”
She moves slowly to ensure there’s nothing behind her. Her head barely stays on the counter, her hair waterfalling over the edge. She lets her arms fall back too and relishes in the feeling of Shawn taking control. He wastes no time reaching under her dress, letting his fingers tiptoe the thin straps of her underwear before hooking them around his index fingers.
Shawn slows down for a second, taking his time as he tugs the fabric down her soft thighs. He thinks of how much he’s going to fucking miss this on tour and there’s no amount of FaceTime and handywork that will make up for the feeling of her skin under his. He’s obsessed with the way she feels, with every dip and dimple, every tiger stripe of faded stretched out skin - everything that made her uniquely for him.
He finally pushes the fabric past her manicured toes and slingshots it into the living room, she watches as it flies over the couch and behind it to that lost space between the sofa and wall.
“Hey!” She says sitting up, “you’re gonna fish those out later, buddy.”
Shawn just smiles and holds her face in his hand and gives her the softest kiss. He breaks away and walks to the fridge to pull out the wine she’d requested this morning. He opens the cork with ease and takes a sip from the bottle before handing it to her.
“Oh so it’s a drink straight out of the bottle kind of night, huh?” She asks, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand after taking too big a sip.
Shawn just replies with another ferocious kiss, his mouth tastes like the grapes of her favorite wine and she rests her hands low on his hips. He places a palm on her sternum and nudges her back. She gets the hint and lays back flat against the granite countertop. Shawn’s hand works slowly down her front, cupping her heat and letting the fabric create some much warranted friction.
She lets out a breathless moan at the contact and bites down hard on her lip. He does it again, and makes sure to hit her sensitive bundle of nerves and she bucks her hips up into him. When he moves his hand away from her she pouts and he wants to kiss that pout right off her face but resists doing so, the alternative is much better.
He bunches the fabric of her dress in his fist and pulls up, revealing her bare half to him. His tongue involuntarily swipes over his bottom lip and he feels his pants tighten. She can feel the cold air hit her in the most devine way. Shawn drops to his knees and places each of her legs over his shoulders.
“Missed you,” he whispers.
She laughs, “are you talking to me or my vagina?”
“I’m not going to answer that question.”
He feels her body shake with laughter, but calms it the moment his lips hit her knee. Shawn kisses slowly up the inside of her leg, past dimples and faded stripes of rippled skin. He places a single kiss above her heat before working, moving to work up the other side, he wants to leave no patch of skin unloved, un-worshiped.
Her fingers thread through the curls at the top of his head when he nears closer to her center and he knows she’s more than ready for it now. He slides her forward just a bit more on the counter (he’d almost chipped a tooth on the granite when he tried this last week). She tugs at his hair to encourage him, her whole body shivering the moment his tongue takes the first lap of her core.
She lets out a breathy fuck to disguise the moan as he picks up the pace. He starts with his usual figure eights, the condo silent except for her gasping, muted moans and the sound of Shawn’s tongue against her soaked center.
The sharp of her heels dig into his shoulders as he adds two fingers to enter her. Her hand leaves his hair to grab at anything she can, her nails scratching against the hard surface of the countertop when she’d normally ball a fist of sheets in her hand. Shawn watches her chest heave as he steadies his rhythm; lips sucking at her tender bud, long fingers curling inside of her to reach that one spot.
A warm spot in her lower body begins to boil over and burn her skin from toe to fingertip. She can feel it crawl up her chest and into her cheeks, painting them his favorite shade of pink. The lower part of her body twitches under him but he’s quick to hold her down with the palm his hand, tutting her along the way.
“Shawn I’m so so so so so close,” she breathes, digging her heels even harder into his shoulders but he’s too into it to care about the searing pain.
He releases her with a wet pop of his lips, “just let go whenever you’re ready.”
She takes a deep breath but it’s cut off when his tongue does overtime on her. Too sensitive to take it, she lets her orgasm crash over her with an arch of her back and a moan that echoes throughout the condo.
Shawn stands and leans over her body to kiss her forehead, “stay here, I’ll be right back.”
She nods, too fucked to even think straight about it. He gives her time to recover while he runs to the bathroom to wet a washcloth with warm water. When he returns, he runs it softly up her inner thighs, cleaning up the dampness from her arousal mixed with his spit. She quivers when he runs it gently across her sensitive core and covers her back up with the skirt of her dress.
“I need some help up, you destroyed me,” she groans, wiggling her fingers at him.
Shawn chuckles and grabs her hand to sit her up straight. Her hair is a mess, and her cheeks are still prickled with his favorite pink and he’s not sure how he managed to live this long without telling her he’s in love with her.
“So, pizza or Chinese?” He asks, repeating her question from earlier.
She grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him in between her legs, “oh no, you’re next.”
---
heyyyyyyyyy! so this is the first chapter to the sequel of a certain time and place! i love all the beautiful responses i got from the last series. this chapter is moreso of a drop in, we have a LONG way to go with these guys and i’m excited to share it with y’all! drop a reblog, reply or ask if you enjoyed :)
#shawn mendes#shawn mendes blurb#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes smut#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes series#shawn mendes x oc#than
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Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-8
Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7
Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.
Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.
They meet at a quiet pizza place at Sid’s suggestion.
As soon as Sid sees Geno on the sidewalk he realizes it was a mistake. He already has people stopping him and Sid can see the stress lines around his eyes as he glances up and back to the people around him.
Sid has no idea what the protocol is but he suspects it’s better if he stays out of all of that so he tips his head toward the door of the restaurant and ducks in, grabbing them a table in the corner of the dark, quiet dining room.
It takes another ten minutes before Geno finally ducks into the restaurant looking very harried but at least he’s alone. He immediately spots and heads for Sid, carefully avoiding eye contact with the handful of other patrons. He gets stopped anyhow and politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with a family of four before he finally makes it to the table looking more than a little stressed.
“Sorry, Sid. I was hoping since it Tuesday afternoon would maybe not be such a big problem.”
“No, I’m sorry. I should have known. Next time we’ll figure something else out, okay?”
Geno nods, looking very grateful.
“So…” they both start after an awkward moment and it breaks the tension. Sid gives a quiet laugh and Geno’s face softens.
Sid thinks maybe, finally, they can relax.
Of course that’s when a waiter arrives at their table and starts his welcome spiel before stopping completely and exclaiming, “Whoa! Geno! Hey man!”
“Hello,” Geno says cordially, but Sid can see the lines forming around his eyes again.
The waiter, “Braden,” he informs them as he shakes Geno’s hand and ignores Sid completely, is grinning ear to ear and turns long enough to call in the general direction of the kitchens. “Yo, Frank! You gotta get out here! We got Geno Malkin in the house!”
Sid sees Geno slump in defeat and sits quietly as he politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with what must be every staff member there… and a couple of construction workers who hadn’t bugged him when he came in. As far as get-togethers go, this is a disaster.
Geno finally asks Braden to please give them a minute with the menu and turns to Sid with a pinched expression, talking low and fast. “Sid, okay if we get food to go? I take us somewhere private to eat and talk. Don’t think this going to work.” He says it like he’s asking permission and Sid feels terrible.
“Yeah, of course.”
That’s all it takes for Geno to motion Braden back over.
It takes another twenty five minutes before they’re actually leaving the restaurant with bags of food and a pizza, Geno having left a generous tip.
He pulls his hat down over his eyes and seems to be trying to hunch in on himself even though there was no way someone that big is going to be able to hide. Sid follows quietly and they make it to Geno’s car with only a couple of people stopping him. As soon as Geno slides into the driver’s seat, he drops his head back and lets out a deep breath.
“Really sorry, Sid.”
“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for suggesting this place.”
“Not be sorry. Let’s just go eat. Hungry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Geno turns to him with furrowed brows. “You ok? Need to eat and drink now?”
“No, I can wait. I feel okay.”
Geno’s face relaxes a little then and he nods. “Okay.”
He takes them to the arena. It’s the last place Sid expected to find himself but it makes sense. When they go in, no one does anything more than give him a wave. Certainly no one seems concerned that he’s toting a bunch of takeout bags and has a stranger trailing along beside him.
And that’s how Sid finds himself eating pasta and pizza in the Penguins’ team kitchen.
It’s Sid’s turn to be jumpy, glancing nervously at the door every few seconds until Geno explains, “No practice here today. Not expect anyone around or I take us to private conference room.”
Sid breathes out in relief. “Okay.”
“So—” they both start again and Geno laughs.
Maybe this won’t be as bad as Sid feared.
Geno is enthusiastic about any mention of the baby and wants to know all about Sid’s appointments with the ‘baby doctor.’ He listens to every tiny detail—from the baby’s heart rate to Sid’s blood pressure—with rapt attention and asks what seems like a hundred questions.
Sid doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have a conversation about the pregnancy that isn’t revolving around what a crisis it is.
He likes how easy it is to talk once they’re relaxed, that Geno actually takes interest in his life. He isn’t just asking questions to have something to talk about—he genuinely listens to Sid’s answers and asks more questions, seeming to want to know everything he can.
He asks about Sid’s studies at the university and Sid spends several minutes talking about the courses he plans to take and his plan to teach someday. In turn, Sid asks him about hockey and they spend a good half an hour talking about the upcoming season. Geno seems pleasantly surprised at Sid’s interest and knowledge.
From there the conversation turns back to the pregnancy and Geno asks if Sid has talked to his family in the last couple of days. “For a few minutes last night. I told them I told you about the baby.”
Geno fiddles with the edge of his cup. “They know is me?”
“No. I didn’t tell them that much.”
“What they say when you tell them I know?”
Sid shrugs. “Not much. My parents are still hoping I’ll change my mind, I guess. But my sister is happy.”
“Glad you have her, at least. Hope your parents come around.”
“What, um, what about your parents? Did you, um, tell them about…?” Sid glances down at his midsection.
“I not tell them yet, no.”
“Oh. Right.” Sid’s not sure what he expected and he works hard to push back the pang that’s threatening to bubble up inside him
“Going to tell them, Sid.”
“You don’t have to.”
Geno frowns. “Not keep something like this secret from them. Is just hard, try to figure out how to say. Worry how they respond.”
“You think they’ll, ah, be upset?”
Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Maybe. Probably.” He takes a deep breath. “Mama, Papa very close to me but they not really know about my private life. Just not sure how they react when they find out, you know.”
“Find out about the baby or…?” Sid feels like it probably doesn’t need to be said.
Geno nods. “In Russia, be with guy very bad. Not safe.”
“Yeah,” Sid swallows hard. For the first time he’s thinking about consequences beyond the scope of Pittsburgh and the NHL and he’s suddenly grateful he’s from Canada.
“Not something I need to tell them before but now…”
“Right. Now I’m pregnant and fucked that up for you.”
Geno looks up and grabs Sid’s wrist. “You not fuck anything up, Sid. Take two people make this happen. Was my choice, too and I’m not regret.”
“Well, I’ll understand if you decide not to tell anyone. I mean, I’d get it.”
“Not going to be that way. Just have to figure out best way. Maybe not be easy but I do because it’s important. Besides, better to tell now than someone here find out and they hear in press.”
Sid looks up, struck again by all the things weighing on Geno with this pregnancy.
“I guess we should probably be more careful around town, too. I mean, if it got out it would be bad.”
Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Would be very bad. Here, maybe not as much but Russia… I probably can’t go back.”
“Oh god. You can’t—” Sid shakes his head. Somewhere in his mind he knew it but hearing it like this brings it into stark contrast. “I can’t be the person responsible for that. I won’t tell anyone, Geno. I promise.”
“Not the kind of thing to keep secret forever. Eventually, baby born and grow. Seem impossible to keep thing like this secret.”
“We’ll do it, we’ll find a way.”
Geno shakes his head. “You really want that? Not so sure I do.”
Sid’s heart sinks. “What do you mean?”
“Even if we could keep total secret, what kind of life that be for our baby? What kind of life that be for us? Maybe not ideal and maybe some hard consequences but still a baby, still going to be child for us to raise. Our baby, Sid.” To Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles and it fills him warmth.
“Only know for two days and already think about baby growing up. Want to teach him to skate and play hockey, want to take him to family skate and bring him to games.”
Sid realizes he’s smiling too. “Him?”
Geno’s grin brightens. “Have a feeling.”
“What if it’s a girl?”
“Not matter. Do all same thing. All that matter is she our baby, our family.” Geno’s smile stretches across his face. “We gonna get to love our little baby and watch him grow up. Maybe hard, little bit scary now but gonna be worth it, you know?”
And Sid suddenly has to blink back tears because in all the time he’s known about the pregnancy, he’d never felt like he could talk about his future with his baby, that he could look forward to it. It had hurt that everyone saw this as a burden, nothing but a crisis to manage. But now Geno is saying things out loud that Sid has barely felt allowed to even think privately.
“Yeah.” Sid has to swallow. “I do,” he breathes and he means it.
“Wouldn’t trade for anything now that I know, Sid. Don’t care what happen.”
“But what about the team? The NHL, Russia?”
Geno meets his gaze. “We figure it out. Not want you worry about it, okay? Just focus on take care of you and take care of baby. Most important.”
Sid sighs. “I’ll try. I, um, I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days.”
Geno’s face lights up and Sid’s glad he told him. “When? Maybe I find way to go?”
“Friday at three.”
Geno frowns. “Have meeting.”
“Oh. Well, I…”
“I’m sorry.”
Sid takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Geno. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have responsibilities. Honestly, the fact that you care at all means a lot. So, don’t worry, okay?”
Geno nods, looking a little miserable. “You call me, tell how it goes?”
“For sure.”
“Maybe we get together after?”
Sid smiles because this is just all so much more and so much better than he ever expected. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Geno drives Sid back to where he’d parked earlier. It’s still crowded and Sid knows they can’t linger with Geno idling in a no parking zone so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and pushes it into Geno’s hands before he gets out of the car.
“What this?”
“It’s not all of it, not even close but it’s part of what I owe you.”
Geno frowns. “Sid…”
“Not negotiable. See you Friday.” He closes the door before Geno can reply
Part 9
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the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end
There are, quite honestly, about a million other ways I had hoped to gain notoriety... and by a million I mean, like, five. Six, tops. Looking back, avoiding my own inevitable would’ve been easy – a literal push; a click, a tap, the fucking pushing of a fucking button (sorry, potty mouth). All I had to do was keep my mouth shut; keep my shit private just as I always had. I had worked so hard to get where I was – where I hopefully still am – and while some people may have deserved at least some part of what they got, some were just the worst kind of collateral damage. To the latter: you will never know the extent of my regret, nor the level at which I now self-loathe. To the former: I’m still sorry, even if you do suck a little.. I know, I know I’m getting ahead of myself.
On that note, I suppose I should start from the melodramatic beginning of my climactic end – my self-imposed downfall, my very clumsy swan dive into public humiliation. Here goes; try not to hate me too much.
Oh, I’ve changed the names of people and places, but the rest is - unfortunately - the truth.
“Well, it’s over! It’s done!” Judy, very melodramatically, intoned while frantically waving her arms, “Edgewood has officially gone to hell in a handbasket!”
I have only just walked into the back door of the bakery and tea house the two of us own together, but I can already tell it’s going to be one of those days – to be fair, most of them are.
“Well, don’t stop now, give me all the dirt!” I know I’m baiting her, but it never stops being fun.
“They robbed my silverware tree!” she offered by way of explanation – the “silverware tree” as we now call it, is the tree that we are forced by the town of Clydesville to have blocking our front door because we live in Tree City USA. We decided to make it festive by hanging all of our gold-plated silverware that was too pitted for use (we are fancy, after all) and everyone had already come to terms with the simple fact that we might as well just throw that silverware in the trash, because once it was out there it likely wouldn’t stay very long.
“Well, don’t let them ever say we don’t give back to our community.” Being flippant probably isn’t the best approach to the situation, but we are nothing if not sassy here.
“Thanks for taking their attack on my decoration seriously” she sighed “I guess I should just be thankful they were careful not to trample my english garden while they robbed me blind.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry, I should’ve taken this more seriously” I held up my hands in a placating gesture, “more importantly – who had bets on it lasting less than a month?”
Before she even had time to feign offense, the victor was ready to claim their spoils.
“That would be me!” the victor in question being my friend, and co-worker, Lawrence; or as we all prefer to call him, Law, “E-e-easiest five bucks I eva made!” he took the time to not only grab his prize, but do a somewhat embarrassing dance while doing it, “Ooh, wait, give it to me in singles – I WANNA MAKE IT RAIN.”
“Five singles isn’t enough to make it rain, Law.” I retorted knowingly – honestly because we have tried to do it countless times, and failed miserably. We have the slow-motion videos to prove it.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was your personal mission to rain on EVERYBODY’S parade today, Kat. Don’t let me stop you, want me to tell you about my hopes and dreams so you can shoot them all down while you’re at it? Yeesh.” He and I have been friends for so long, this type of back-and-forth is just par for the course. As a matter of fact, if I’m not mistaken, we are actually cousins. It is Wayneswood County, after all, literally everyone is related.
“As long as your so-called hopes and dreams don’t involve proposing to yet another girlfriend, I’m pretty sure I’ll be supportive of them” I know it’s a low blow to hit so early in our little game, but I really do have a reason for coming in to the store today. You see, Law is what we call a ‘habitual proposer’ – he’s been engaged to four different women (only married to one) in his ripe, young age of twenty-eight.
“aye-aye-aye, kick a man when he’s down, why don’tcha?” he pounded a closed fist over his heart in an attempt to make me feel bad.
“I’m not saying I didn’t know it wouldn’t happen, but I just thought people would be nicer. I should know better than to place any expectations on humanity anymore. Oh, well – at least I’ve got more silverware to hang up. No more soup ladles, though, the dredges of society apparently needed to serve some broth.” Judy interjected, still trying desperately to hide her disappointment.
“That or prepare a whole lot of crack!” I jovially added, making a show of shrugging my shoulders and forcing a tight smile.
“Prepare. Prepare?” oh, here he goes “Uh, excuse me, yes Geeves” Law was getting into it now, affecting a posh accept and holding his pinky in the air “prepare us crack, good sir, make it our finest vintage!”
“Soooorrrrryyyyy I don’t know all the hip drug lingo, friendo. I must’ve missed that issue of Street Youth Monthly.” Admittedly, my joke’s weren’t always the cream of the crop.
After receiving looks of pity for my attempt at being pithy, we fell into our daily routine of treading water and getting through the daily deluge of afternoon teas, ladies having lunch, hipster parents trying to force their kids into liking fancy things and the general public needing sweets to keep calm and carry on.
“Our 2:00 afternoon pushed to Wednesday, and changed their reservation time to 1:30.” Judy explained – at the end of the day we all sit down and compare calendars, make notes on scheduling, and make sure we haven’t over-booked ourselves too terribly much.
“Okay, perfect. I got a form submission for a 12:00 highest on the 26th.” I added, looking over my most recent crop of e-mails.
“Hmmm” Judy furrowed her brow in concentration, “No, that won’t work, we’ve got a party of 15 at 12:00 for a Bridal Shower Tea, see if they can move to either 11:00 am or 2:00 pm. Those are the only availabilities.”
“I’ll go ahead and e-mail them.” I responded, tapping a few keys to bring that promise to life.
“We will need someone on June 9th, we have that big pastry order for the store anniversary at Belk.” Judy flipped her calendar, and for the first time I truly realized how close to the end of May we were.
“I also have a wedding that Friday, so we will definitely need to schedule a lot of help because I’ll be down for the count just filling those two orders.” I’m the Pastry Chef, so I shoulder most of the actual baking responsibility, but I always make sure that only I do the wedding cakes. I’m very, very particular about the wedding cakes.
“Can do. Law, can you make yourself available?”
“Already planning on it, boss.” My friend was nothing if not dependable. “Y’all know I ain’t got shit going on otherwise.”
“Thanks, my dude. Did you buy your tickets for the Front Bottoms yet?!” we had only been talking about going to see them for, oh I don’t know, a million years now. I needed him to stop dragging his feet and commit to going with me already. I hate going places by myself, especially Asheville.
“ohmagod, do you want me to buy the tickets in front of you? Do you want me to purchase the gahdang tickets right frickin now so you can watch and make sure I do it, MOM?” like I said, the back and forth never stops with us.
“actually that would bring me great pleasure.” I said, a smug smile taking over.
“FINE.” He yelled, while pulling out his phone with more dramatic flourish than I probably deserved. After a few enunciated taps, he announced he had indeed purchased the ticket (showing me the text for proof) “You’re driving my ass there I hope you know. And buying me a beer – Wicked Weed is right next door and I’m not about to take on a buncha teenage FB fans without some liquid assistance.”
“I’ll do you one better – I’ll buy you a PRETZEL to go with your beer.” I’m feeling very magnanimous, obviously.
The day ended as does every other – with our tiny crew barely holding it together, and counting down the last five minutes like we were in Time’s Square watching the ball drop. Unfortunately for me, though, keeping up morale until 5:00 wasn’t going to be my biggest problem of the day.
The drive home was especially short for me, considering I lived less than a block away from the shop. Yes, I choose to drive - you haven’t been on these mean streets at 3:00 am. I put my little Honda in park, and tried to get all the groceries in one go, something at which I seemed to be failing miserably. Reaching for my key, usually hanging from the tiny cupcake keychain my boyfriend’s niece got me for Christmas a few years ago, I was shocked to look down and see nothing more than a broken bead chain.
Sonofa – “NOOOOOOO not again!!!!” I whined, loudly. Cute it may be, practical it was not – I had lost my house key more times than I could count at this point during our five-year stint in our little Edgewood home.
Micah’s car was here, though, so I could at least just bang on the door until he let me in.
“MICAH! MICAH I KNOW YOU’RE HERE, LET ME IN YOU PUNK.”
-bang bang bang-
-bang bang bang-
“I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF YOUR’E SLEEPING THROUGH THIS I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET THIS DOOR OPEN”
-bang bang bang-
At this point, my hand was starting to hurt desperately, so I decided that –naturally- the best course of action was to begin kicking the door.
However, one can only punch and kick a door for so long before one decides one looks like a crazy person and the neighbors start peeking out their windows.
I pulled out my phone to begin the task of calling him until he answered, but after the fifth call of incessant ringing, it started going straight to voicemail.
Huh.
I mean, that’s probably nothing right?
“Hey, it’s Micah, I’m either busy or just can’t get to the phone right now – either way, leave me a message and I’ll call you back… or I won’t. Later. Beeeeeeeep”
“Micah, what the hell? I’m sitting outside, freezing, alone, getting really shitty looks from our very terrible neighbors, I lost my key – again. Yes, I know. Your car is here, so I don’t know why you’re not, but I guess just let me know whenever you can. I love you.”
A knot began twisting in the pit of my stomach – our relationship would never be described as “stable” or “healthy”, a fact that my friend who was currently going to school to be a therapist (whatever that’s called – therapy school? Therapist school? How-does-that-make-you-feel school?) was always very quick to point out.
“If someone really loved you, they wouldn’t make you feel this way.”
“If he really loved you, he would make you a priority.”
“People in healthy relationships don’t end up crying on their friends’ couches this much.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. We started dating when I was young – honestly, no frontal lobe development whatsoever – and we got way too serious way too quickly.
What would you do if you were 19 and your boyfriend’s mom made you promise to take care of him on her deathbed? Yeah, that’s right, don’t judge me; maybe I should’ve left years earlier, but sometimes the hardest thing is to do is scream for help when your lungs have filled with water.
So, I sat there. I sat on that porch for five hours and twenty-seven minutes and you can bet your ass if my watch counted seconds I would know those, too.
Finally, the darkness was punctured by a harrowing halogen beacon, said beacon not being attached to any car I immediately recognized, but at this point a literal prostitute could’ve been driving him home and I wouldn’t have cared – the need to urinate was all encompassing and entirely overbearing.
A slow roll, the sound of the door opening and quickly closing, a decidedly female voice offering promises of meeting again soon; the soft crunch of glass-flecked grass from when he accidentally broke two of my solar lights but never bothered to clean it up, the rattle of keys being removed from the same front, left pocket in which they always rested.
“’bout time.” I slurred – admittedly, at some point during my wait I had decided to crack into the beers I had purchased earlier. And by “crack into” I mean “drink all of”.
“jesus!” micah whispered, jumping back and assuming what I can only imagine was meant to be a defensive position, “Kat? What are you doing out here? Christ, you scared the SHIT outta me!”
“Oh, no… are you slightly inconvenienced? Oh, oh, no… I would hate for your date to end on a sour note.” “Date? Oh, seriously, Kat? Really? You’re gonna get mad about me for hanging out with an old friend?” Micah’s mood immediately turned, and I knew it could only be headed in one direction.
“Don’t bring him up.” I warned
“For fuck’s sake” he huffed “so you’re free to throw my female friends in my face whenever you want, but I can’t bring up your so-called… what is it that you call him?” he asked in a mocking tone “best friend forever? Your little bestie? Bestie Bitch?”
“Seriously, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, that’s different.” I argued – the same argument we’ve had time and time again.
“Oh, I do know what I’m talking about. I don’t give a shit that you guys have been friends since you were in diapers or whatever you want to claim – that guy is in love with you; he would be at the front of your line, and you know it.” He sneered
“God, Micah, when are you finally going to admit that you’re unhappy? When will you stop trying so desperately to make ‘us’ work?” I pleaded, practically on my knees – because, damn, I was druuunk.
“When will you?”
I can’t explain what happened next, because never in my life have I been that person – the one who is strong enough to walk away, the one who can say no. I can only thank the Stella gods for giving me the distinguished courage to stand up – for, arguably, the first time in my life – and have the self-respect to finally walk away.
“Now.” I blinked, suddenly realizing what I was saying, gathered what remained of my groceries (that I hadn’t eaten or drank) and stood up, ready to take the first step. Ready to make a move solely for myself, without worrying about someone who had never spent a day worrying about me.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Back up… what?” Micah kept doing this ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ blinking and head shaking combination, probably unsure what to do in a situation where I wasn’t a complete pushover, “say that again? I had to hear you wrong.”
“Now.” I said again, much more forcefully, “I’m done. You’re done. We’re done, that simple. I’m leaving – I’ll, uh, come back sometime to get my stuff. I’m taking Penelope and MacGyver.”
“You’re serious? Oh, you sweet, simple little bunny… just like that? Just… done? Where do you think you’re gonna go?” he had turned condescending, and I was not there for that. At. All.
“I told you to stop calling me that, you ass. I’ll find somewhere to stay – so many people have been begging me to leave you and offering their homes as shelter, it’s not me I’m worried about.”
“Well leave your key, I don’t want you sneaking back in here and taking my shit.” Oh, Micah, you always were unnecessarily paranoid. Looking back, it was probably the drugs I didn’t know you were taking.
“I lost my key – if you answered your phone, you’d know that.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay – we can talk this out?”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Micah. We’re done. Now, get the hell out of my way, I’m leaving.”
“You can’t drive, you’ve been drinking… you have to stay.”
He had a point, and I’m honestly super terrified of breaking the law, but before he had even finished his sentence, I had my phone out and was halfway to dialing the only person I could consistently rely on.
“Kat, baby? What’s wrong?” he answered – he always answers.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix, I know it’s late… I just” oh, no, the tears. The tears started happening.
“I don’t give a shit what time it is – you can call me day or night, you know that – you just never call.” His voice had taken on a tender quality, probably in response to my sobs.
“I, uh, I… ah, fuck, can you come get me? Please?”
“Absolutely, where are you?”
“Ho-“ Micah cast a harsh glare in my direction, “… um, Micah’s house.” I corrected myself – this place hadn’t ever really been my home, anyway.
“… is that a new place, or a new name for an old place?” I could hear his hesitancy – I didn’t know how to approach this situation, how could I expect him to?
“It’s the same address… just a different situation.” I didn’t really want to get into it, considering Mr. Glarey McGlareson was still shooting eye-daggers at me.
“Give me ten minutes.”
“Don’t speed.” I attempted to sound stern
“Kitkat, I’m coming to pick you up from what I can only assume to be your now ex-boyfriend’s house, I’ll be there in ten minutes or I owe you a bag of chips.”
“I’m timing you.”
“You’d better.”
“Well isn’t that just precious – you’re moving on mighty fast there, Kitkat.” Micah sneered as soon as I hung up on Phoenix.
“Seriously? Don’t. Just, don’t. I’m not the one who got dropped off by another woman.” I warned, but it was hollow – honestly, whoever she was, call that bitch up and I’ll thank her myself for being the impetus for this conversation.
Micah decided it would be better to not wait with me, and I couldn’t have agreed more. He told me he would call me when he felt comfortable with me getting my stuff – I told him I would be by to get my cats by the end of the following week. He snorted some semblance of an agreement, walked up the two-steps to the small porch, stalked through the front door and ended the entire conversation with a slam.
Nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, Phoenix’s truck pulled up in front of the 1940s bungalow I wouldn’t sleep another night in.
How magnificent.
“Jesus, P, how fast did you go?”
“What do I need to load? What’s the game plan?” he clapped his hands, rubbing them together like he was either about to do some manual labor or concoct a dastardly plot to take down that do-gooder, Dudley.
“I’m sorry, game plan?” I asked, still pretty tipsy, considering.
“Yeah – let’s get this done, move you out. Why wait?”
“Well, for one, it’s like three in the morning. For two, this wasn’t planned and I haven’t even packed a single shred of anything. I’m not ready, I’ll just come back.”
“What’s in your hands?” confusion echoed across his handsome features. I mean, sure we’re only friends, but I can appreciate a good lookin’ guy, you feel me?
“What?” I looked down, because honestly I had kind of forgotten, “Oh, groceries.” I shrugged.
“That bastard let you go to the grocery store before he broke up with you?”
“Hey! Who says he broke up with me?”
“Kat, girl, it’s you…” head cocked, twinge of guilt, but ultimately not a wrongful assessment
“Yeah, well, ya girl grew a pair tonight. My bitch ass left his bitch ass.” Sassy really isn’t my forte, but I gave it a go.
“Oh, now I need to hear the full story.”
Behind my head I heard a window crank open, that particular window was in the kitchen which looked directly out over the portion of the front yard in which we were currently standing. Phoenix and I both turned from the intruding noise.
“Seriously, guys?” Micah deadpanned from the window – his hair was askew, his eyes red, and a cigarette was hanging from his lips
“DON’T SMOKE INSIDE” Phoenix and I yelled in unison, looking at each other and giggling like schoolgirls
“Yeah, my house, my rules, now seriously fuck off.” And with that little nugget, he stalked off to probably watch porn right in the living room because apparently the house was now a lawless land.
“I really hate that guy” Phoenix noted
“I really know you do.”
“What were you thinking?” he whined
“I have asked myself that every day for the past 5 years.”
The drive to Phoenix’s house took decidedly longer than nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds, probably because we took back roads so we could listen to music longer – something we had always done. There was always singing, usually dancing, and more than a few times there were tears.
After minor protest, he helped me carry in my groceries. Unlocking the door, he flicked on the light to reveal the home he had been pouring his heart into renovating for the past two years. The coffee table was new – he built it.
“Just put the groceries on the counter and I’ll help you put them up.” He whispered
“Thanks – I would say we could just toss them and start over, but these are kind of my only worldly possessions right now, and I’m a little attached.” I whispered back, because duh.
“I understand – it’s hard to not get attached to…” plucking a random box out of my bags, “tender whites popcorn.” He said, still whispering.
“Hey, P, did you get a roommate?”
“Hell, naw, why?”
“Why are we whispering?”
“Ha!” he laughed, louder now, “in my head we were sneaking into one of our parents’ houses. God, sometimes in my head we’re still teenagers.” He was clearly reminiscing.
“I wish things were still that simple.” I released on a sigh
“Well, do you wanna sleep or talk?” he was never one to tiptoe around the delicate
“Honestly? Sleep. I promise I’ll give you the full story over the coffee you make me in the morning
“God” he snorted “you will never change, huh?”
“Here’s hoping.”
“Wouldn’t want you any other way. The guest room is made up, you know the way, I’m hitting the hay. If you need anything, keep it to your damn self because I’m sleepy. Love you, bestie.” He gave me a quick hug – because even after being friends for most of our lives, neither of us was particularly physically demanding
“I love you, too, P. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for saving my ass, again.”
“Anytime, KK.”
We parted ways, him walking to his master bedroom, and me walking to the guest bedroom situated directly across the short hallway.
He paused at his door, and looked back at me “Kat?”
I paused, and turned as well, “yeah, Phoenix?”
“…welcome back.”
“Where had I gone?”
“Nowhere good.” The pain was obvious on his face
“You’re not wrong, bestie. You’re not wrong.”
“You’ll get through this.”
“I always do.”
“I’ll be right here.”
“… you always are” I added before finally closing my door.
I guess, in a way, I was back. Like waking up after a deep sleep riddled with nightmares, full of monsters and shadows holding you down and filling you with a sense of inferiority.
I suppose, in some small measure, this was one of the first monumental moments of clarity in my fog-riddled existence.
I only wish I had stayed up my upward trajectory, stayed full of hope and happiness, kept the lightness of losing a boyfriend-sized weight.
Ah, well, I wouldn’t have much of a story to tell then, now would I?
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Tell me them Jethan headcannons, NSFW & Non-NSFW!!xx😘😘 (please xx love your blog!!)
(thanks!!)
omfg anon there are SO many (also there are some from @panic-at-casualty and @lornagonigall so with their permission I’ve included them here! Unfortunately, there are more but I was an idiot and can’t place names to them and I’m not gonna post other people’s headcanons without their permission, sorry :/)
Some of these are written as if Cal is still alive, and some before Scott died etc, it doesn’t exactly match up with the current timeline.
ANYWAY::: there are so many, hence the keep reading because this is SO LONG.
Once Scott’s been caught and charged, everyone thinks that Ethan will be okay because his mind will be able to rest because Cal’s killer would have been brought to justice, but it only makes Ethan - rather than lashing out - retreat into himself and he ends up hurting himself in a way, like being reckless and drinking a lot, not sleeping, risking his life on several occasions with the paramedics because there was that tiny part of him that thought everything was going to go back to normal and even he would get his brother back (obviously he wouldn’t, but yeah) so he just declines… ENTER JACOB STAGE RIGHT who just really helps him.
Since 8am that morning (when Ethan and Jacob, who are together, woke up), Ethan has been lying on his left side, on the left side of the bed. Jacob left a while ago. it’s Christmas day, the first Christmas without cal. it’s 11am when Jacob bursts through their bedroom door. he kneels beside Ethan’s side of the bed and places something next to Ethan’s head. Ethan props himself up onto his left elbow, grabs his cute little black geeky glasses and puts them on and looks at Jacob. Jacob smiles and says “happy Christmas”. Ethan looks down and sees a ball of fluff. a kitten. Ethan sits up properly, crosses his legs underneath the bed cover and carefully picks up the lil kitten and places him on his lap. Jacob goes round to the other side of the bed and sits next to Ethan, putting his arm around him. “his name is Caleb” says Jacob. Ethan cuddles Caleb and leans into Jacob’s chest, silently wishing all his (dead omg) family a happy Christmas.
Ethan is terrified of spiders and one day, he sees one in Jacob’s and Ethan’s flat. he spends half an hour trying and failing to get it out and he’s terrified because Jacob is out but then Jacob comes home and Ethan’s shaking loads and Jacob immediately comes to the rescue and removes the spider and Caleb comes padding in and meows and Jacob ruffles Ethan’s hair and Ethan kinda blushes and says “I could have done that” and Jacob replies “I know, I did it for Caleb, not you” then he laughs and Ethan laughs too but Jacob suddenly jumps and says “spider!” and Ethan turns so quickly he nearly falls and Jacob practically collapses with laughter for tricking Ethan and Caleb, as if he senses what’s going on, walks to Ethan and nestles into his leg so Ethan picks him up. “not funny” Ethan says… while smiling.
Jacob is SUPER protective over Ethan, especially because Cal’s gone.
When Scott comes into the hospital, he grinds Ethan’s nerves and really really annoys him and in the end, he gets to: “kill me. come on kill me.” and taunts Ethan or, “I’ve already got rid of one brother, and I’ll soon make it another” but *triumphant trumpet sounds* JACOB COMES IN AND SAVES THE DAY
Set in a world where Cal isn’t dead: someone hurts Ethan and cal and Jacob both get protective and start arguing over who will sort it out and in the meantime Ethan sorts it out himself and Jacob and cal are still arguing and Ethan just appears by them and just says “sorted it.” and cal and Jacob just stare at Ethan and be like “I was going to help”, “no, I was going to help!”
In a world where Cal isn’t dead: Jacob has moved into Cal and Ethan’s flat and Ethan then tries to reach something but he can’t and then Cal and Jacob both jump in to help him get it but instead end up arguing like “I’ll get it” “no I’ll get it” “no it’s okay, I’ve got this” “no, Cal. I’ve got this” and Ethan just shouts “shut up!” and then waves around the Thing he needed and managed to get and Jacob and cal just stare at him like seriously Ethan and Ethan just laughs loads
How everyone would react to Ethan and Jacob being in a relationship:
Elle would probably go up to Ethan and just (in a kind way) threaten - is too harsh a word but we’re gonna roll with it - him and make sure he’s going to treat Jacob right and (if Cal was still alive) Cal would do the same but like fully go up to Jacob and be like “oi you better treat my brother right” and be a little harsher.
Alicia would probably be shocked and a little jealous because she still likes (loves but she won’t admit it) Ethan and she just develops hate for them whenever she sees them happy together because she will always wonder what Jacob has that she doesn’t (everything).
Charlie would be quietly supportive and just smile to himself when he finds out and whispers to Duffy “I told you, didn’t I tell you?” and Duffy would smile back and laugh at her husband and whispers back “they’re good for each other”.
David would be surprised and make it a big and loud thing because he’s so shocked and, unlike Charlie, he didn’t see it coming and Dylan would just stare at them and hope that it doesn’t end up like every other couple in Holby - a complete disaster. He has respect for Ethan as a doctor, like he had respect for Cal as one, and nods his head in acknowledgement at how wonderful they are together and how protective they are of one another.
Connie, having dated Jacob in the past, would feel a little jealous (not as much as Alicia, mind) but know that Jacob and Ethan are much better together and - because she’s developed a protectiveness over Ethan - likes to check in to make sure everything’s okay, because in a post-Cal world she’s worried that Ethan’s searching for protection and guidance like he had with Cal but she soon sees that they really like each other and the protectiveness that Jacob gives him is the same as Ethan gives Jacob.
Iain wouldn’t care less because he’d be too focused on his own love life which includes Lily. Lily, once upon a time might have been happy or even jealous but now she has a partner and her and Ethan’s friendship has fizzled out she doesn’t really care either.
Louise and Robyn would gossip together and when they finally find out (from a not-so-quiet David), Robyn squeals in delight because she thinks they’re cute together (which they certainly are) and together Louise and Robyn rush off to tell Max and Noel - who are at the front reception desk at the time. Noel wins £10 from Max because he said they “could be dating” but then Max realises that Noel said “could” instead of “are” so Max gets his money back and the two are more focused on what the next bet is compared to Jacob and Ethan.
Ethan and Jacob are curled up on the sofa together watching movies and Jacob gives Ethan a lil soft forehead kiss because they’re Alone and he’s too embarrassed to do it elsewhere and Ethan falls asleep and Jacob removes the black Ethan Glasses (the old nice ones because they’re nice) and tucks the blanket around him and then Caleb (the kitten) pads up and curls around on Ethan’s lap and Jacob just looks down and thinks how lucky he is. And another forehead kiss for good measure.
Jacob regularly checks up on Ethan in his flat after Cal’s death and sends him little ‘how r u’ texts in the morning. If Ethan doesn’t reply within the hour he gets worried and goes around just to make sure he’s okay.
Cal keeps watch on the first few Ethan and Jacob dates to make sure Jacob is treating Ethan right but then bumps into Elle who had the exact same idea about Ethan treating Jacob right.
@panic-at-casualty’s headcanons
At Cal’s funeral, Ethan stumbles into the church drunk as fuck but Jacob silently helps him up and gets him to the front.
Ethan wearing Jacob’s sweaters which go to his knees.
They always stick up for each other. Always.
FOREHEAD KISSES
Ethan latches onto Jacob after Cal’s death because he reminds him a little of Cal and then a friendship forms.
Ethan is exhausted and falls asleep everywhere. Jacob finds him in various places for the rest of the day and has to wake him up, smiling because he’s totally smitten at Ethan’s flushed cheeks and messy hair.
Jacob always catches Ethan wearing his jumpers. Constantly. But he looks so adorable that Jacob doesn’t even mind. Besides, when he gets them back they end up smelling like Ethan - an added bonus.
Jacob tries cooking for them one time but fails miserably, setting the fire alarm off because he’s distracted by Ethan just being plain cute. They buy a takeaway instead, once Ethan has finally finished laughing.
Ethan is gentle by nature but if anyone messes with Jacob then he’s immediately furious. It’s so cute that Jacob just lets him (making sure he doesn’t get hurt of course), mentally ‘awwing’ at it all.
Jacob has a thing about carrying Ethan everywhere. Ethan looks tired? Pick him up. Time for Ethan to go to bed? Pick him up. Ethan can’t reach something? You guessed it. Pick him up.
(Darker) When Ethan is sad, which is quite a lot nowadays, J finds him on the sofa in his flat in a tiny ball and takes him into his arms. Ethan sometimes cries but always hugs back and is slightly happier by the cuddle.
(Very dark) Following Cal’s death, Ethan can’t go on anymore. Heartbroken, he attempts suicide. Luckily, he survives and ends up in the hospital. Nobody visits him - nobody but Jacob, who sits by his bedside and wipes his sweaty hair out of his face until he wakes. When he does, Jacob holds his hand and tells him that everything will be okay - one day.
(Darker) Ethan is depressed a lot of the time, filled with regret and pain over his suicide attempt. One day, in the midst of another breakdown, he shouts at Jacob: 'Just leave me, I’m not worth it!“. Jacob cries more than Ethan does and that’s the first time that Jacob says how much he really loves Ethan.
Jacob is forced to go away on a business trip, leaving Ethan alone. They miss each other immensely and are always skyping, phoning, texting, snapchatting and sending silly pictures to each other. It always cheers Jacob up, in the middle of a boring meeting, when Ethan sends him a picture of him being a dork with the attachment 'I miss you!’
Jacob and Ethan think they’re being SO secretive with their blossoming relationship but literally, everyone in the ED knows and supports it wholeheartedly and quietly.
Jacob is sad when EVERYONE forgets his birthday, but it turns out that Ethan organised a giant party and is cheered up by it. They end up sneaking off by themselves and have the best time doing absolutely nothing.
(An add-on of your idea!) One time, Caleb the kitten gets injured at home on Ethan’s day off. Ethan phones Jacob, who is at work, in a full-blown panic and a haze of tears to come home. Caleb the kitten is absolutely fine after a trip to the vets but Jacob had never seen Ethan cry quite so much.
For Ethan’s birthday, Jacob prints a picture of Ethan and Cal and puts it in a keyring. Ethan is delighted (a little bit sad, too), thanking Jacob so many times, and carries it literally everywhere. He even sleeps with it.
Jacob is heartbroken after a (silly) fight with Elle, but Ethan is there to feed him pizza and take care of him until the tears stop and tell him how it’ll all blow over in the morning. Jacob doesn’t believe him, thinking his friendship is over, but the next day learns that Ethan is very rarely wrong.
Jacob is invited to a wedding and brings Ethan along as his plus one.
Elle is so supportive of Jacob and Ethan’s relationship. She used to tease Jacob about how 'close’ they were getting but stopped when she realised how flustered Jacob got. From then on, Elle settled for cooing from a distance as Jacob gives Ethan kisses on the forehead when he thinks nobody’s looking.
(Darker?) Jacob is terrified of public speaking. So much so that he ended up having a full blown panic attack before a meeting. Ethan calmed him down, gave him a cuddle, and then stood next to him for comfort during the entirety of Jacob’s presentation (which he sailed through, by the way).
They have the best water fights in the summer (and sometimes winter). Jacob always wins but sometimes he lets Ethan, just because he loves how excited and happy he is when he 'wins’.
@lornagonigall ’s headcanons
If they faced homophobia Ethan would definitely be like "let’s just ignore it” but Jacob would be like “I’m gonna fucking kill them”
Robyn and Elle matchmaking Jacob and Ethan.
Ethan and Jacob being like “we should cook together” but they’re both rubbish cooks and end up with a mess on the kitchen counter so they’re like “JUST ORDER A TAKEAWAY THEN” and they’re both really happy with themselves. And when they’re sitting on the sofa Jacob just looks at Ethan and says “Cal would be proud of us for this”.They adopt a son and Ethan is just like “I don’t know what to name him” and Jacob says “Let’s name him Caleb”When it’s revealed they’re dating, Elle goes to Ethan and tells him to treat Jacob right and Cal goes to Jacob and threatens him to treat Ethan right or he’ll have him to deal with.Ethan can be super protective over Jacob if it came down to it like if Jacob was in trouble he’d go crazy.
Jacob would be so protective of Ethan and Ethan would be like “no Jacob no don’t do this no stop”
Cal literally being like “ok so when I’m home no business like that” an Ethan is like “CAL I’M AN ADULT AND SO IS JACOB WE ARE NOT KIDS”
Cal would literally be their biggest supporter along with Elle like they’d be texting both of them like “YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?? YOU HAVE THE WINE AND EVERYTHING RIGHT??” And Ethan and Jacob are like “we had wine?” and then Ethan shouts “HEY I FOUND THE WINE I FOUND IT” And Elle and Cal are like “why do we bother”
Jacob being super stressed about impressing Ethan but when Ethan sees that Jacob doesn’t do formal they just go for a takeaway and it’s better than any formal dinner they could’ve had
Ethan and Jacob have a daughter they’re sending off to school:Ethan: Ok, if anyone picks on you, tell a teacher, ok? *kisses his daughter on the head*Jacob: *hands her a knife* you know what you must do Ethan: Jacob nO
And Cal being That uncle that shows up randomly like “AY I GOT YOU PRESENTS” and leaves after five minutes whereas Elle advises them both on what to do when dealing with a teenage girl and after texting them comes over and is like “ffs ok let me handle this” and Jacob just stands there like whATAt the hospital everyone would gossip about then until Connie is the one that stops it because it’s “unprofessional” but really she doesn’t like that people are gossiping about them and Connie is sitting in her office one day and she sees Jacob and Ethan walk past laughing to each other and she just smiles really widelyHow everyone reacts to Ethan and Jacob dating:Connie - Doesn’t mind as long as they aren’t unprofessionalCharlie - Doesn’t careDuffy - Doesn’t care Louise - Doesn’t mind but finds the match oddNoel - Super surprisedRobyn - Surprised but finds it cute Cal - He fainted upon hearing about it Elle - Threatened Ethan but in a nice wayMax - Surprised and a bit put off by itLofty - Doesn’t careDylan - Doesn’t react
And then Cal threatens Jacob and Jacob’s like “with all due respect, take your hands off me” and Ethan is constantly trying to keep them apart, then something happens and both Jacob and Cal take it upon themselves to protect Ethan (while Ethan is trying to protect them but less aggressively) and they bond over that and Ethan’s just waiting crossed armed for them to return and he’s like “what did you two do” and they just walk in, turn to each other and laugh and Ethan’s like “what… what? guys what??” and they just continue laughing for some reason and Ethan’s just like… oh… okay they’re cool with each other.. but wtf did they DOEthan and Jacob getting harassed for being gay and Connie coming out of the hospital like “is there a problem here?” While holding a scalpel and the guy runs away screaming and she’s like “was it something I said or”
Cal and Jacob competing for Ethan’s favouritism until they’re literally doing everything for him and he’s like "I swear to gOD”
Double dates: Jez and Mickey, Ethan and JacobEthan staying at Jacob’s house and seeing it’s actually very neat and modern and Jacob’s like “please don’t tell anyone how I live”
Ethan and Jacob in the hospital helicopter crash instead of Ethan and Alicia. Jacob would lift everything off of Ethan and be like ETHAN I’M GONNA SAVE YOU and Ethan’s more concerned about Jacob. And Jacob’s like “I’LL SAVE YOU oh fuck your lEG”
Cal invites Jacob round and Ethan’s like “Cal we don’t even have milk” and Cal’s like “you go get some then” and Ethan sighs and goes to the shops and Cal tells Jacob stories about Ethan. And when Ethan comes back Jacob’s all coy about it and he subtly teases him about it and it takes absolutely ages for Ethan to catch on and finally, he’s like “Cal told you… didn’t he…?” Then Ethan asks Elle about Jacob stories.
These are general prompts I found on Tumblr from the users the-moon-dust-writings, tsutomi-goshiki, bumble-beany, not-such-an-angel.
Person A: “I didn’t know you had a soft side.” Person B: *Petting kitten while holding it to their chest* “I don’t.”Where Ethan is A and Jacob is B.
Person A: “We never got to talk about the thing.”Person B: “Oh you mean the thing where we kissed?”Person A: *Timidly* “Yeah.”Where Ethan is A and Jacob is B.
Person A: “Is that my shirt? I’ve been looking for that.” Person B: *Clearly wearing their shirt* *Whispers* “No.”Where Jacob is A and Ethan is B.
Person A: “You got me out of bed for this?’ Person B: “Our dog is wearing a unicorn horn! What part of that isn’t worth getting out of bed?”Where Jacob is A and Ethan is B.
Person A: “You didn’t have to do that, you know.” *Applies frozen peas to B’s freshly new black eye* Person B: *Flinches before taking the bag of peas themselves* “I had to at least try.”Where Ethan is A and Jacob is B, where Jacob has just tried to stand up for Ethan. Someone threatens Ethan and Jacob is all like OI SAY THAT TO MY FACE and goes all protective but gets punched.
Person A: “I am so cute, you are so blessed.” *Looks in mirror and fixes hair* Person B: *Smiles with light in their eyes* “Yes I am.”Where Jacob is A and Ethan is B.
Person A: “We are so screwed.”Person B: “We? You did that. I was just the innocent bystander!”Where Jacob is A and Ethan is B.
Person A: *smiles*Person B: *blushes* *slams hand on the table* that’s fucking it, I’m killing himPerson C: or you can man up and ask him outPerson B: k-killing..is easier.Where Ethan is A, Jacob is B and Elle is C.
Person A: Are you awake?Person B: I am now.Person A: I was just wondering…Person A: What do you think it’d be like to be a pregnant male seahorse?Person B: Really?! You woke me up for that?Where Ethan is A and Jacob is B.
Person A: *finger guns* hey, cool beans, how are you?Person B: *whispers* he’s so coolPerson C: you have such low standardsWhere Jacob is A, Ethan is B and Cal is C.
Person A: FUCK!Person B: languagePerson A: EnglishWhere Jacob is A and Ethan is B.
Person A: *has a black eye*Person B:*looks at him sternly* WHAT DID YOU DO?! NO, DON’T ANSWER THAT. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. BUT! LET ME JUST TELL YOU THAT I’M VERY DISAPPOINTED. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! YOU-Person A: i-i’m sorry!Person B: Person A: *is super sad*Person B:Person A:Person B: *clears throat* did you win?Person A: *perks up* fuck yeah!Where Jacob is a protective-over-Ethan A and Ethan is B.
like some of these are just prompts and stuff but… who’s complaining
#bbc casualty#shoelace fandom#ethan hardy#jacob masters#caleb knight#cal knight#elle gardener#jethan#jethan headcanons#anon
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If anyone is reading this, here is the third part of my, still untitled, soulmate fic. Other parts are here and here.
Tony cannot sleep.
Each time he falls asleep, he finds himself back in space, a nuke on his back, surrounded on all sides by Chitauri forces.
He wakes in cold sweat, trembling and gasping for air.
He doesn’t go back to sleep. Won’t go back to sleep.
(Can’t.)
He goes down to his workshop instead, and makes a suit after a suit after a suit.
(It’s not obsession. Not fixation. It’s being prepared. He’s seen what lurks out there. He knows something is coming their way. Knows it’s not a question of ‘if’ but ‘when’ there is another alien invasion.)
He tinkers. He fixes. He creates. He deals.
But he doesn’t sleep.
***
Tony sees Steve once, on TV.
He is in the workshop, frowning at the schematics of the new suit. “J, what am I missing here?” he says, drumming his fingers impatiently against the flat surface of the workbench.
“Aside from sleep, Sir?”
Tony presses his lips into a thin line, huffs out a disgruntled sound, but doesn’t take his gaze off the simulation. “Sleep is for the weak, now this-” Tony wheels backward in his chair, tilts his head to the side. “Blow up, J. Twenty percent.”
Tony stares at the digital image of the suit, his eyes darting across the numbers for the umpteenth time. Everything seems right, every damn number checks out, but he cannot shake off a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that insist that something isn’t quite right.
Tony scrubs his forehead with the back of his hand, rises to his feet, starts pacing. “J, run me a comparative scan with MARK 24.”
“Sir, may I remind you that this is MARK 26?”
Tony stops dead in his tracks, frowns. “Really?”
“Indeed, Sir,” JARVIS responds. It sounds almost like a sigh.
Tony blinks, runs his fingers through his hair. “Huh.”
Maybe he really does need to sleep more.
Or he just needs to try harder.
“J, give me-” Tony begins but his words trail off into silence when he catches sight of the familiar face on the TV screen in the corner of the workshop.
Rogers. Dressed in a uniform straight from the forties, standing in parade rest and smiling politely at the cameras.
Tony’s heart flutters briefly, his chest tightening fractionally.
Steve looks almost exactly the same as he did the last time Tony saw him. Which translates as unfairly pretty. Also, he is feeling uncomfortable as hell. Oh, he is putting on a good show, but Tony knows this game, has pretty much perfected it, and Rogers? Is regretting the life choices that are responsible for leading him to his current position.
“... Captain America exhibit in the Smithsonian. Even President Ellis is rumored to have-”
“JARVIS, turn it off,” Tony orders in a quiet voice, suddenly feeling tired. He really should try to sleep. Maybe he’ll get lucky and he won’t dream.
(And if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.)
Tony doesn’t move. He stays rooted to the spot, his eyes directed at the TV screen even after it turns black.
Tony isn’t certain how long he stands there, still staring at the blank TV screen.
He also doesn’t know when it happened - and even more distressingly why - but his right hand is now resting against his sternum, fingers splayed wide directly over the place that never stops aching. Longing for something it’ll never have.
Tony blinks, yanks his hand back as if burnt.
“Remote control,” he blurts out suddenly.
“Sir?”
Tony doesn’t reply, preoccupied with pulling up schematics, running numbers, the image of blue eyes and a strained smile fading into the background of his mind.
“J,” Tony says, grinning wide as the digital armor disassembles into parts in front of his eyes. “Sometimes I even amaze myself.”
“I will make a note of it, Sir,” JARVIS remarks. “File it in the ‘modesty’ folder.”
Tony snorts, waves a dismissive hand. “Screw modesty. I prefer flair.”
“And yet you hide it so well, Sir.”
Tony laughs out loud, not taking his eyes off the blue flickering lights, reaching after one of the gauntlets, all thought about sleep and rest forgotten.
***
The entire Mandarin situation? Not one of Tony’s finest moments.
It’s a disaster from the moment one. When Tony makes it personal.
Somehow, he manages to make it through.
(He almost loses Pepper. After, he still finds himself in that moment; staring helplessly at Pepper, falling, and falling and falling, out of his reach, forever.)
Then, at the end, he makes a choice.
And in that moment, holding Pepper in his arms, and watching the suits explode one after another, until there is not one left, he is certain it is the right choice.
***
“You miss the light?”
Tony drags his eyes away from his chest - one hundred percent smooth, and arc reactor free - to throw a glance at Pepper, who is leaning against the bathroom door, wearing only one of Tony’s shirts.
“Nah,” he says, grins. “It was messing with my beauty sleep.”
Pepper arches an amused eyebrow. “Really? The arc reactor used to keep you in the workshop for hours?”
“Well, it must have,” he says lightly, then saunters up to Pepper and wraps his hands around her waist. “I’m here now, am I not?”
Pepper smiles, then leans forward, brushing his lips against the shell of Tony’s ear. “It would be even better if you joined me in bed, Mr. Stark.”
Tony’s eyebrows shoot up, his mouth curving into a grin. He steps back and waves a hand toward their bedroom. “Well by all means, lead the way, Miss Potts.”
***
Tony is happy.
Really. He is.
But.
He misses the suit. Misses the flying. Misses being Iron Man. There is also a distinct possibility he misses the Avengers.
(Sometimes he catches himself thinking about that hectic day of the Chitauri invasion. He thinks about the team. Remembers how well they worked together when they needed to.)
Okay. For some inexplicable reason, he does miss the Avengers. All of them. Even Rogers.
Which is somewhat a moot point because of the fact that he cannot not miss Rogers.
But yeah, Tony is happy.
And if he sometimes toys with the idea of turning the Stark Tower into Avengers’ headquarters, who can blame him? Everyone has daydreams.
(Although, not everyone has blueprints ready to make them into reality.)
***
Distinction between lying and omission?
Doesn’t really matter.
Both end up biting you in the ass when you least expect it.
And Tony? He really should have known better.
Later - miserable, alone and very, very drunk - Tony will laugh at the idiotic way he managed to fuck up the best thing that has ever happened to him.
But in the actual moment it happens, he is merely distracted.
“Which one?” Pepper asks, holding up two dresses.
Tony glances up from his phone, tilts his head in contemplation, utters, “The green one,” then returns his attention to his phone.
And freezes.
His breath catches in his throat, and his heart skips a beat when he realizes what he’s done.
Slowly, carefully, Tony raises his gaze, hoping that Pepper didn’t catch the deeper meaning of Tony’s words.
His hope shatters when he meets Pepper’s gaze, wide and startled.
“Green?” Pepper repeats in a high voice, throwing a bewildered glance at the two dresses in her hands, then back at Tony. “How can you know that? Tony?”
Tony takes a deep breath, lowers the phone down on the table, and rises to his feet. He doesn’t consider lying. That would only make everything worse. If it can get worse.
Judging by the dawning horror and betrayal on Pepper’s face, there is a distinct possibility it cannot.
“Tony, please tell me this isn’t what I’m thinking,” Pepper says, her eyes filling with tears. “Please, tell me you didn’t lie to me.”
Tony swallows, takes a careful step forward, then another, and another, until he is standing in front of Pepper. He reaches out, only to pull his hands away when Pepper flinches back from his touch.
“I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell you,” Tony says, wincing inwardly at the half-choked sob that leaves Pepper’s mouth. “I meant to tell you. I really did. It just,” Tony trails off, shrugs helplessly. “It never seemed the right time.”
“Never seemed the right time?” Pepper repeats in an increasingly shrill voice, gives Tony a look of utter disbelief. She shakes her head, drops the dresses down on the floor. “You want to know when it had been the right time? The moment it happened!”
Tony grimaces, watches as Pepper turns her back to him, his stomach twisting into knots.
Tony had fucked up many, many times in his life. But never on this level. Never quite so needlessly. He could have told Pepper the truth. So many times. But he didn’t. Because he’s a stupid and selfish idiot who really should have known better.
“Look, Pepper, I know-”
“How long?” Pepper demands without turning around.
Tony screws his eyes shut for a moment, steels himself. “Since New York.”
Pepper turns sharply, a deep crease appearing on her forehead. “New York? You mean...?”
Tony doesn’t say a thing, just nods.
Pepper shuts her eyes, and even from a distance, Tony can see a tremor shaking her entire body. She remains silent one long moment. Then, she opens her eyes, squaring Tony with a level look. “Who?” she demands in a quiet voice.
“Pepper, please, it doesn’t matter who it is,” Tony begs, his heart going into overdrive. He takes a step forward, but stops when Pepper holds up a hand in warning. “I want you. I love you.”
“Who, Tony? You owe me that much.”
Tony swallows thickly. It does absolutely nothing to ease the burning sensation in his throat. “Steve Rogers,” Tony says in a flat, empty voice, his shoulders sagging in defeat. A small frown of confusion appears on Pepper’s face. Tony swallows down a surge of hysterical laughter - really? you think it matters she doesn’t know his real identity? now? - and forces himself to grit out, “Captain America.”
“Your soulmate is Captain America?” Pepper says, a touch of hysteria entering her voice.
Tony grimaces, nods. Watches as Pepper’s face twists into a pained grimace. A bright, sharp flare of pain sears through his chest. It’s like watching Pepper fall again, knowing he failed her, knowing he wasn’t good enough.
And the worst thing?
This time, Tony isn’t only the man who didn’t save her. He is also the one who pushed her away.
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Off Limits (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 21
Pairing: Chris x OC
Synopsis: Mara Magnusson has always had everything she ever wanted in her life, except for one thing. The boyish charm of her brother’s childhood friend had wrecked her poor heart and ruined her for any other guy – you can trust her, she has tried. She could see the way he looked at her, though she knew there were rules about not hitting on your best friend’s little sister. Luckily for her, there were no restrictions when it was the other way around.
Word count: 4.6k
A/N: THE END, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! There will be an epilogue but this is the last chapter!! It’s longer and it’s fluffier than usual (they fucking deserve it!!) so forgive me for all the mushy stuff, I hope y’all have a sweet tooth! I really like the last part, but I have doubts about the two previous ones (this doesn’t make sense before you read it, but the chapter is divided in three parts because there are two time jumps). Anyway, ENJOY and send me the love because I’m still sick and coughing and seeing double and I wrote this chapter despite it all :(
MASTERLIST
Part 20 <<< >>> Epilogue
“No date tonight?” Chris asked, plopping down on a bench next to William. His friend was busy not looking at Noora, and failing.
“Nothing planned so far,” Will answered, finally detaching his gaze from his unofficial girlfriend – even though everybody knew already – and looking at Chris. He couldn't wait for his black eye to fade away so he could finally turn the page and move on from the hectic last few weeks. “Why are you asking?”
“Because I do.” He shrugged in an attempt to look relaxed but he was a bit tense. “Mara asked me to come over tonight, I was hoping to get rid of you,” Christoffer joked – he was dead serious though.
William was not amused and huffed in exasperation.
“I'm not leaving you alone with my sister in my apartment so you can christian every room,” he groaned.
“Seriously, bro?” Chris complained, frowning and throwing his head back when William gave him a stern look. “Not cool.”
It wasn't the first time William cock-blocked Chris but most of the time he did it because he found Chris fooling around in his bed during a party, not because he wanted to protect a girl's honour. It itched Chris to tell him that Mara's honour was gone since she was fourteen but he kept to himself because Will probably didn't know that. There are certain things a girl doesn't tell her big brother.
“I'll be there the whole time, looming over you guys and coughing whenever it gets too steamy,” he snickered but his smile vanished when he heard Chris grumble something along the lines of 'you might as well start coughing now'.
“Shut up!” William exclaimed, bringing a leg up on the bench.
“What? It's true! If you know your sister at all, you shoul-”
“She usually doesn't bring the guys she sleeps with home,” William cut him off. “But I guess I'll have to get used to it, you sound- serious about her.”
Serious was a massive understatement but that William didn't need to hear – Chris bet it was obvious. From a single look toward Mara, his eyes gave away how hexed he was. And he wasn't even complaining! Same goes for William – if not a little more, his eyes were practically glued to Noora, he looked at her like she was his sun and stars. Chris hoped he didn't look that dumb when he caught Mara smiling at him randomly during the day, otherwise he would never hear the end of it
from the boys.
“You're not the boy she sleeps with though,” William continued. “You're the idiot she loves. Which sounds even worse said out loud.” He winced as if the words stung.
“I don't think you're supposed to tell me that, Mara has yet to say the words,”, Chris laughed at the 'oh shit' face that William made. “It's fine, I won't say anything.”
“Cool, cool-” Will nodded. “You know I'm just messing with you, right?” He then asked, staring a little harder at Chris. “I'm happy if you're happy. Both of you.”
“You don't look too miserable yourself,” Chris said, gesturing toward the group of girls where Noora was laughing at something girl Chris said. “You sure you don't want to take the girl on a date tonight?”
“Quit trying to set me on a date to be alone with Mara!” William rolled his eyes and Chris began to laugh wholeheartedly, catching the attention of the girls.
*
Three hours into the evening, William was regretting his decision of not going out with Noora and staying at the apartment to chaperone the two idiots currently cuddling on the couch. When he saw them slowly dozing off and falling asleep in front of the TV, he began to wonder why he denied himself a little fun tonight. What came over him? What did he care anyway? Those two have been humping like bunnies for months, he was sure of it, what does it change that he knows it now? Did he ruin both their and his night? God, he needed a drink.
“Cheers to me and my brilliant ideas,” Will grumbled and took a sip of beer.
Mara was right, he was a shit decision maker. There he stood, in the living room's door frame, watching Chris and Mara sleeping soundlessly, their features free of tension as though everything was best in the best of worlds. The bottle of beer almost slipped from his hand when he heard a knock on the door.
He didn't think he could get any more confused but when he opened the door and found Noora standing there, all dressed up and smiling, he did indeed, become more confused.
“Noora?” He asked with a smile. That's all he seemed to do whenever she was around – her very existence was enough to make him smile, especially when she was all dolled up and sheepishly stepped inside the apartment.
“Hi, is it a wrong time?” She asked, although he was obviously not up to much. “Oh! Are you sleeping?” She lowered her tone when she saw Mara huddled against Chris on the couch, their eyes closed.
“It's a perfect time,” William exclaimed in a whisper. “It was getting a little boring to pace around in silence.”
“I came to see if you wanted to go out, Eskild bailed on me for a tinder date, so-” Noora stretched the last syllable, waiting for William to get the hint and ask her to hang out.
“Yeah- yeah sure, we can go anywhere you want! I wanted to ask you out actually but- I don't know, I have no excuse, let's just go and I'll make it up to you,” William rambled as he set his beer on the coffee table and grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger.
“Don't you want to say goodby-” Noora began to ask when William grabbed her arm to lead her out.
“No, let them be, at least when they're asleep they can't get in trouble.”
Oh boy, if only he knew how wrong he was. As soon as William closed the door before them and locked it, Chris opened an eye to make sure they left.
“They are gone,” he whispered, for good measure. “Not too fucking soon!” He exclaimed after a few more seconds and stretched his tired limbs once Mara lifted her head from his shoulder.
“I was going to fall asleep for real, Noora really took her time.”
Mara yawed and mimicked Chris' action. Then she pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted a quick 'thank you so much I owe you one' to Noora. Chris kicked off the blanket that was covering them both and grabbed William's half finished beer on the table.
“Isn't sharing a beer a bit like kissing someone?” Mara teased him as she laid down, resting her head on the armrest and throwing her legs over Chris' lap.
“Wouldn't be the first time,” he answered with a wink before downing the rest of the drink.
“Oh god,” Mara whined, covering her eyes with hers hand. “I didn't need to know that, nor did I want to!”
“Serves you right for making dumb jokes!”
Chris put away the bottle and leaned forward until his face hovered over Mara's and he pulled away her hands to look at her.
“C'mon, don't hide your face from me,” he demanded gently. “You've been drooling on my shoulder for the past thirty minutes, I think I deserve a reward.”
His tone conveyed the smirk on his face and even if he looked at her like he was the hunter and she was the prey, Mara knew she had him wrapped around her finger. She brushed back his rebellious hair with her hand then slipped it behind his neck only to pulled him down and kiss him. Their lips met in an open mouthed kiss tainted with a bit of roughness due to their frustration after waiting three hours for Will to leave.
“I waited just as long as you, why don't I deserve a reward?” Mara asked when Chris pulled back a second, merely to change positions and climb between her legs.
He could feel her welcoming his weigh on top of her, the way her thigh clutched his hips and her legs wrapped around him – there was no better feeling in the world to him. With one hand each side of her head, Chris looked down at her, watched her smile and bite her lip, wondering if she knew what she was doing to him when she looked at him this way. He licked his lips and leaned down again, pressing his forehead against hers.
“Why are you looking at me like you're about to eat me up?” Mara asked playfully, rubbing her foot up and down the back of his leg.
“Because I am,” he growled, rolling his hips to earn a low moan. When Mara's swallowed lips parted, Chris took the opportunity to kiss her again, as if he wanted to absorb all the little sounds she emitted. “That's your reward – and mine too.”
“Promise?” She ushered, barely mustering up the words while being assaulted by Chris' lips, on his lips, on her neck, down her throat and lower, lower.
There was no point in answering when Chris could simply show her that he meant it. Slowly, very slowly, he rid her of her clothes one by one until she lied naked on the couch – oops. And soon, the quiet room was filled with short breathed gasps and heated moans while Chris' head was buried between her thighs, and Mara's hand pulled at his hair.
*
“It's not too late to go out,” Mara muttered, her voice showing more tiredness than she would have liked.
Chris' body kept her warm and his arm around her waist weighed heavy enough to make her feel safe and protected. Mara's bed provided them with much more comfort than the leather couch and that's where they ended up after getting (a little) naughty on Will's precious couch.
“Now?” He groaned in her ear, nuzzling her neck. “You'll have to give me a damn good reason to get me out of bed after this.”
He still didn't open his eyes when he felt her turn around in his arms and started kissing his chest up to his collarbones.
“I love you,” Mara said, and Chris froze. As soon as she felt him tense up she stopped kissing him and looked up, and placed one last kiss on the corner of his lips before looking at him. “How is that for a damn good reason?”
“I have nothing to say to that,” Chris admitted a couple minutes of silence later.
A smile etched his features now that he finally heard those words come out of her mouth and for him. Not because she wanted to prove something to William. Not because William was rambling about how he would have to deal with seeing Chris hanging around at their place more often.
“Nothing at all?” She insisted, pouting a little and smiling knowingly.
It wasn't that she absolutely needed to hear him say it back – because she already knew Chris reciprocated her feelings and Mara was never one to be so dense as to need people to spell things out for her - she could read between the lines just fine. But Chris – Chris was another thing – he looked like the words were on the tip on his tongue, waiting to be said.
“Maybe a few things, four actually,” he said with a shrug.
“You've had plenty of time to think them through since the hospital when you eavesdropped my conversation with William.”
Mara grinned mischievously and stole another kiss from Chris. She was an agile thief and Chris a consenting victim.
“I love you too,” he finally said and buried his nose in the crook of her neck to pepper kisses here and there and leave a very visible love bite as if to draw a final point to his statement.
Mara's crystal clear laughter echoed through the empty apartment and at this exact moment she was especially glad William wasn't in their vicinity and they didn't need to stifle their laugh and be quiet.
“Still wanna go out now?” He asked, pressing his lips to hers again.
“Of course, I'm famished and I want a waffle,” Mara declared causing a wide smile to stretch her boyfriend's lips.
“I expect you don't have a waffle maker?” He sighed, already pulling off the blanket.
“You know Will and I live off of take out food,” she huffed. “Now come, let's get out of here and prove my brother that asleep or not, we always cause trouble!”
“Well said, Mara! Let's get crazy and go down town to eat waffles in the middle of the night,” Chris teased her.
They had to go back to the living room to pick up their clothes and as soon as they were ready, they left arm-in-arm for a night trip to the local H24 diner to have some waffles because the lady requested some. Despite his little experience with serious relationship – or total lack there of – Chris knew that the secret to a long lifespan was to not stand between a woman and food.
“Do you think he'll panic if he sees we've disappeared?” Mara asked once they were in the street. The cold wind did wonders to refresh them after their activities. “I'd pay good money to see his face!”
“Are you punishing him for being a dick to you?” Chris laughed.
“Me? I would never,” Mara pretended to be offended by the sheer thought.
The familiar crinkles appeared at the corner of Chris' eyes and Mara felt her heart swell in her chest to the point where it hurt her ribcage. With a strange sort of pride, Chris wrapped his arm over Mara's shoulders and let her hug his side as they walked through the streets of Olso, void of people and lulled in a pleasing quiet darkness. The lights of the late closing restaurants illuminated the city, but nothing shone brighter than the spark in their eyes – as freaking cliché as it sounded – because right now it didn't matter that it was half past midnight and below zero degrees, or that they were tired and hungry, because they were still the happiest of all people.
“Do you think we've switched roles?” She wondered out loud as they finally stepped through the door of the restaurant. The familiar jingle of the front door greeted them when they sat down near the window.
“What? With who?” Chris frowned, confused. It wasn't always easy following Mara's train of thought.
“Noorehlm,” she said with sarcasm dripping from her voice as she used the made up ship name she used to refer to Will and Noora. “A few months ago we were complaining about them eye fucking and being love sick puppies – which was true – and now I feel like we're no better.”
“Do you want a real answer to this?” Chris huffed playfully, both his eyebrows shooting up. His left hand distractedly played with the menu and Mara's foot rhythmically tapped on the tiled floor.
“Is it a pleasant one?” She inquired.
He leaned back on his chair without ever taking his eyes off of her. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly upwards and he had to look down to his lap to suppress the smile growing on his features.
“No clues, do you want to hear it or not?”
“Fine, tell me how pathetically in love we are, I can handle it,” Mara told him.
“We'll never be like Will and Noora. First off, we're much better looking – I mean look at us-” Chris began immediately beaming with pride upon hearing Mara's laugh. “-and also because I'm sure no one can claim to understand what we went through just to be here tonight, together, eating waffles with extra whipped cream, let alone pretend they lived the same experience.”
“How many people can claim to have been beaten up as many times as we did, right?” Mara asked, agreeing with his reasoning.
The waitress set their waffles on the table and the two of them dug in the second the walked away as though they hadn't seen any food in days. Chris and his extra syrup and Mara and her extra whipped cream really were the dream team.
“It was brilliant to ask Noora to lure Will away by the way,” he said, using the last piece of waffle as a sponge because he didn't wan to waste any drop of syrup. Chris had a sweet tooth, that she knew.
“It was our joker,” Mara replied. “Next time he'll have to suck it up or wear earplugs!”
“Or we can go to my house. I still have a few rooms we haven't tried out, and I- shit, get down! Get down!”
Mara dived under the table no questions asked.
“What's going on?” She asked in panic.
They attracted the attention of the waitress but Mara quickly told her it was nothing and she shrugged and went back to work, like it was nothing new to have customer hide under a table.
“William and Noora just walked past the restaurant,” Chris whispered.
There was no reason to whisper, but it was a reflex. Just like diving under a table when there was no longer any reason for them to hide from anyone.
“That's it? You scared me, Chris!” Mara shoved him in the shoulder. “I thought freaking Terminator was coming fot us!”
“Sorry, power of habit,” he apologized and sat down on the floor, not really bothered by their position. “Mara, did you- did you take your waffle?”
As she licked away the whipped cream from her lips, Mara said, “Excuse me but I have my priorities sorted out.”
“I can see that, yeah,” he laughed. “Mind sharing?”
“Ugh? Yes!” Mara replied, moving her waffle out of Chris' reach. “Order another one!”
“Or I can just eat it off your lips since you have whipped cream everywhere,” Chris said and connected their lips to illustrate.
She smiled in the kiss, and gasped when Chris used his hand to pull her closer, regardless of the lack of room to navigate. They deepened the kiss as much as politeness allowed and finished the rest of Mara's waffle before crawling out from under the table.
They took place on their respective seats and gave an apologetic glance to the waitress – Chris also gestured her to bring them two more waffles – but she barely acknowledged them, she was looking at something else, outside.
“What's- oh my god!” Mara shouted when she turned toward the window to look at what the waitress seemed to be staring at and met the judgemental gazes of her brother and her friend. Her hand flew to her chest and her heartbeat went into a frenzy as soon as she saw William's scolding expression and Noora's amused one.
“They can't be serious!” Chris groaned and looked away. “Well, so much for sneaking out. Might as well order more waffles.”
Mara smiled at the two of them and gestured them to come inside for a late night snack. A double date – now they reached a new low of silly pathetic romanticism.
*
The usual hustle animated the school at lunch break. It was now warm enough to eat outside, and the Penetrators occupied the central table. From the moment things went back to normal between the two Magnussons and Christoffer, it was like the entire school became more joyful – it became a merrier place. Conversations flowed easily, laughter erupted from the other tables and all trace of tension left the atmosphere.
Chris sat one leg each side of the bench to face his friend Maksim, who couldn't stop asking him questions about Mara, as though he couldn't ask her directly. She hung out with them often enough, yet they all waited for her not to be around to try and get juicy information out of Chris. Most of it was sex-related and a bit gross. It was the kind of questions Chris didn't mind answering when he didn't care about the girl, but he mostly shrugged when someone came up to ask him what Mara was like in bed. What answer were they expecting anyway? Even if he responded, it would be something along the lines of 'she's fucking fantastic' and that would be it.
Nevertheless, he had to give them credit for trying. It was the closest they would ever get to receive answers to their questions if Chris had a saying in it.
“Do you think it makes a difference that she's Will's sister?” Maksim asked him without even looking up from his fries, distractedly shoving one after the other in his mouth.
“A difference from what?” Chris sighed, finishing his coke and playing with the empty bottle, flipping it around in his hand.
“The other girls. What makes her so special that you went monogamous from one day to the next? Magic pussy or what?”
“You know what? That's exactly it, Maks, Mara has a magic pussy,” Chris said in slight annoyance. His patience was wearing a bit thin and sarcasm fell out of his mouth before he could think about it.
“It glows in the dark,” Mara whispered in Maskim's ear from behind him, effectively startling him and making him drop the fry in his hand.
Chris snickered mockingly as his friend literally made a little jump from the surprise of having Mara creepily whisper in his ear. Chris had seen her walking over there but didn't say anything, and he was glad he kept quiet. Mara giggled satisfyingly and sat down between the two boys, her back to the table.
“Talking about me I see, what else were you saying?” She inquired after putting her bag on the ground and stealing one of Maksim's fries.
Chris bit his lip and raised an eyebrow at Maksim as if to tell him 'go ahead man, you started this, you tell her'. Mara felt the familiar warmth of Chris' palm on her thigh. Since they were at school she knew he would behave and leave it there, just for the comfort of making direct contact, but his hand was a lot sneakier than that most of the time.
“I just asked Chris what made you so special to him,” Maksim ingenuously answered, in order to put Mara's attention back on her boyfriend.
But she didn't budge and continued to look at him as though Chris weren't even there, though she could feel his hand on her and hear him chuckle on her left.
“You don't think I'm special?” Mara asked Maksim with a smile, causing a blush to appear on his cheeks as though she had asked a tricky question. “Ouch!” She faked to be hurt by that.
“That's not what I meant- of course you're special, I mean you're William's sister-” he awkwardly stammered, the blush on his face deepening.
“If the only thing that makes me special is my brother Chris would be dating him,” Mara pointed out, earning an uncomfortable chuckle from the boy she was currently dragging and a teasing stroke of the hand from Chris.
“You're digging your own grave man,” Chris laughed at how red he was by now.
“Thanks but I don't need you to tell me,” Maksim replied, squinting his eyes at his friend. “I mean- you've got to be some very special snowflake if you can deal with this,” he eventually told Mara, pointing to Chris' general direction with his chin. “Full offence dude,” he snickered and flipped Chris.
“He's pretty al right,” Mara shrugged and moved her eyes back on Chris, who tried to conceal his smile. “You'd be surprised,” she added to Maksim's intention.
He was more than al right and a thousand times a better person and boyfriend than all the other guys Mara has met in her life. But that wasn't anyone's concern but theirs. Most people bought the Chris' act of the emotionally unavailable player and notorious fuckboy – which he was in a sense, but not fundamentally – and as long as it didn't come in the way of their relationship, they didn't see the need to prove people wrong.
“Nah,” Maksim shook his head and decided she must be messing with him because everybody knew Chris was the worst, he wasn't boyfriend material. “Wait 'til you find out his flaws, the dude's not even half as fun and easy going as he tries to play it off- aouch!” He yelped in pain when Chris kicked him under the bench, but Mara didn't pay any mind to what he said.
“Trust me, I know Chris' flaws. I know exactly what I'm getting into,” she mindlessly answered while leaning in closer to Chris.
He grinned and met her halfway to kiss her. It remained general audience rated despite the force they put into it, and the underlying eagerness for more than just a chaste little kiss. But when did they ever feel content with a mere kiss? Chris and Mara were both uncharacteristically intense people; God help them they could never get enough of each other. Except that social conventions required that they broke the kiss after a few seconds. With one hand nestled on her waist and the other one on the back on her neck to press her lips against his one last time before they pulled apart, Chris thought that Maksim wasn't completely wrong – she was special.
“Oh no, you stop this, you stop it right now!” Maksim said a good ten seconds after they stopped kissing, making them both frown.
“We're not doing anything,” Mara said in a confused tone, almost like it was a question.
“Don't play innocent,” he warned her, though it seemed that it was directed at the both of them. “I've seen porn that wasn't even half as steamy as the way you look at each other. It's gross, and nobody should have to see this first hand like I am.”
“Shut up and close your eyes if you don't enjoy the show,” Chris scoffed.
He and Mara leaned in for yet another kiss in a synchronized movement, as if they both of them had had the same idea at the same time. When their lips met, it triggered another round of protest from their friend, who stood up to give them some privacy and spare himself the show he was subjected to.
That truly summed up their whole relationship. They knew each other like the back of their hand; they didn't need to check to know that they were on the same page. It was instinctive, completely engraved in their being, in who they were, and without saying a word they just knew, they felt it in their guts, in their bones, and in their heart that their feelings were shared.
If you like my work please consider buying me a coffee <3
A/N: THIS WAS INTENSE BUT AT LEAST THERE’S AN EPILOGUE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
#skam#penetrator chris#christoffer schistad#chris#norway#oslo#nissen#herman tommeraas#chris schistad imagine#chris schistad oneshot#chris schistad#chris schistad fanfic#christoffer schistad fanfic#christoffer schistad oneshot#skam imagine#skam imagines#skam oneshot#skam fanfic#skam fanfiction#fanfic#wattpad#ao3#penetrator chris oneshot#penetrators#the penetrators#the penetrators 2016#noora#noora amalie sætre#noora sætre#william magnusson
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