hellscape-halogens
Salvador
he.him // mid20s // pfp+header: Pinterest // vent+aesthetic blog
291 posts
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hey just posting to let you guys know that I'm still alive. I've just been taking a break from tumblr lowkey because my mental health took a big dip.
I'm not saying I'm back really, I'm just letting you guys know that I haven't relapsed and that I'm okay. Doing better than before tbh. I'm exercising a lot more and eating healthier. I'm also feeling a lot better physically in general.
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me, accidentally logs into tumblr on chrome: why is everything so upbeat and positive
me:
me: oh. this isn't microsoft edge. where i go to be microsoft edgy.
#please dont ask what my other accs are... I follow one person here on my other main and that's only because she keeps me sane#personal#drugs
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So what do you guys think Diana will be wearing when she drags Charlieboy down to hell!!!!!
#king charles iii#charles prince of wales#diana spencer#princess diana#cancer is stored in the balls#the lazy answer is “revenge dress” but honestly she would serve cunt in anything
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"some people might not know this is a joke"
some people need to get common fucking sense.
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Also I've deleted a few side blogs because I had zero idea what to do with them, or I just couldn't keep up with it anymore for one reason or another.
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I have been so heavily dissociated and depressed. No wonder so many immigrants I see look so fucking worn out and discouraged. Like bro, this shit is hard.
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I've said it before but I'll say it till I die.
Always 👏 Independently 👏 Varify 👏
You've never heard that before? A.I.V.!
You have heard that but not in this context? A.I.V.!
you've used it for years but never thought to look into it? A.I.V.!
"They're always a well researched author" A.I.V.!
I'm not just talking about one aspect. I look up points and specific references articles ALL THE TIME!
I stop in the middle of books from authors I trust and recommend to independently verify THEIR SOURSES sometimes.
The occult/pagan community can be and is very incestuous in our research so ONE sourse means nothing. ONE ~STRING~ of sources doesn't necessarily mean anything.
If 3 people all reference the same article for a point READ THAT ARTICLE YOURSELF! Varify for yourself that THAT article is well researched and not someone making up whatever they want and being taken by unsuspecting writers at face value!
#this also applies to people on social media who post “educated opinions” on current events no matter their political leaning#in order to be informed you also need to properly inform yourself and not just blindly trust/believe everything you're told#avoid falling for fearmongering by checking EVERYTHING you are told#and also get your news from more than just social media#ALWAYS INDEPENDENTLY VERIFY#research#reblog
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honestly it brings me great joy how pagans will casually talk about their gods and call them things like Silly Lil Guy, Sass Queen, Thicc Boi, etc.
meanwhile if I did that to God/Jesus while I was still actively a Christian, I'd have gotten smacked into next week by my parents and church elders citing disrespect.
I'm so glad I am not a Christian. It was too serious.
I'm happy to be part of something that doesn't take itself too seriously.
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truly shocking my mother in law by telling her that incest causes genetic defects such as food insensitivities, digestive issues, haemophilia, etc...
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I know tiktok personalizes your FYP but all I've been getting in my FYP lately is literal fucking porn. Why? I don't do anything except stocks, social media, and keeping up with the news.
I have NEVER had this much porn shoved in my face 24/7... until I started following more truthful news sources (no not right wing imperial-colonist war machine shit).
All this is doing is making me more punk and causing me to resent the war more. I might just boycott tiktok.
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I was gonna post something body positive but it had 2014 tumblr boy with sharpies and cards "ur beautiful <3" cookie monster snapback-wearing vibes so I decided not to because bodies aren't an aesthetic. Bodies are just bodies and I don't have to be weird and memey about it.
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there's this cajun deli shoes guy on tik tok and honestly his videos make me so mad. i don't have a problem with anything he does, he's a pretty good guy (with amazing taste in beef jerky and cheese), i just viscerally hate seafood and watching his videos make me hungry as hell for seafood and I refuse to eat it because I don't like the taste of fish. I just want some deli shoes. big earl. gaw dang. ole coleman. yeehaw.
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I really should not be shocked that my white family with a history of owning people is not entirely white, you know, because of the whole owning people thing.
But I am shocked. Mostly because I'm dumb, don't know how very well genetics work, and keep wondering why my skin is so pasty white.
I'm just having a dumb white people moment.
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I'm engaged to a person I met online wooo scawy
Reblog if you've formed a meaningful relationship with someone you met online.
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dream i had
I had a dream I was in an Italian restaurant in the middle of the desert and it was empty. No employees, no customers, nobody except me so I just sat down at a table bc everything else was otherwise kept very neat and taken care of.
I found some magazines on the table next to me and decided to flip through them. GQ, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Rolling Stone, Billboard (there were more, but those were some of the ones I remember). They all had Lil Peep on the covers in various outfits, makeup looks, poses, etc. Most of them were dated for 2018 through this year. I found another one that was much bigger and made of harder paper/card stock and had a blank cover, except it said "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN..." on the front in big, bold black letters.
I decided to start flipping through that one too and the first page was a picture of Lil Peep. Someone came and sat in front of me at my table and I looked up and I don't think I have to say who it was as many times as I've mentioned him by name already.
"What're you reading?" he asked.
"A magazine." I answered.
"Can I read it with you?"
"Sure."
He sidled into the booth with me beside me and looked. The energy about him changed. We looked through the magazine together.
November 2017: Lil Peep leaves Arizona and voluntarily checks into a rehabilitation center after barely escaping a deadly overdose; his best friend and mother accompany him to offer their support.
January 2018: Lil Peep and Lil Tracy formally announce their departure from Gothboiclique, subsequently going on hiatus from both of their musical careers.
March 2018: Gothboiclique officially dissolves on account of allegations against management of forced intoxication by ex-members and their families. Lil Peep and Lil Tracy declined to comment.
August 2018: Lil Peep and Lil Tracy make a visit back to New Mexico, officially resuming their careers with a surprise concert.
September 2018: Lil Peep releases a new album, returning back to his original sound with Lil Tracy now officially his co-producer.
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Me and Gus were quiet. I continued skimming through the timeline, flipping another page.
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January 2020: Lil Peep was nominated for and received a Grammy, following a remaster and re-release of his Hellboy album in June of the previous year.
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April 2020: Lil Peep is spotted in Las Vegas wearing a new wedding band. Marriage rumors remain unconfirmed today, as he refuses to comment. Speculation begins circulating that it was merely an "April Fools Day" prank.
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I looked at him and he was laughing. Of course 4/20. We read on further.
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August 2022: Lil Peep and Lil Tracy release another album together.
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November 2022: Lil Peep celebrates his 26th birthday in Belgium with close friends and family. Lil Tracy is most notably in attendance.
December 2022: Lil Peep and Lil Tracy announce another year-long hiatus. Rumors begin flying that Peep has checked himself into rehab for the second time since 2017, citing his openness regarding his previous substance abuse issues. He remains semi-active on social media, which immediately squashes the rumors.
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November 2023: Lil Peep and Lil Tracy burst back into the scene with a brand new album, containing 21 original tracks. Both stars cite their 5 years of sobriety as being their inspiration.
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We ended up talking for a while, and both of us noticed that the other magazines were disappearing, and then the one in my hands just became blank.
He looks at me and asks if that's what his life really would have been. I just shrug and tell him that I didn't know and this was probably just a dream.
We ended up smoking a couple of cigarettes in silence together, and I watched him fade into nothing with the rest of the restaurant. Shortly before I woke up, he gave me a "goodbye" nod.
I woke up feeling very hollow and weird.
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im cycling between being horribly depressed, feeling nothing at all, and complete euphoria.
Photo source // Pinterest
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