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#EDIT IN THE TAGS: hi i think i worded this in a confusing way
inkskinned · 1 year
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sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.
for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.
my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.
but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.
at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.
my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?
i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.
she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?
i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.
i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -
she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.
anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?
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itostea · 3 months
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my first & last love (gojo x reader)
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satoru realizes he's in love with you after you suggest he set you up with suguru
tags: fem! reader, Gojo praises you like A LOT! slight miscommunications, childhood friends to lovers, reader gets drunk & satoru helps, he's a lovesick idiot & dramatic, both yours & his pov, gojo’s implied to be taller than reader, slightly suggestive bc it’s gojo, slight angst
word count: 11k
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The first time Gojo Satoru learned true, unadulterated jealousy was on a Friday night out in his sports car–the crickets chirping to the melody of a random song. 
It was real jealousy—not just simple, petty envy. Not like the envy he felt when someone got to taste the limited edition cupcakes at the bakery before he did or the envy of studying hard and getting a lower score than someone who didn’t (which is a lie because Gojo was that very person who was effortlessly good at everything he did). 
Either way, he’s never felt the bite of jealousy, breaking the flesh as blood drips slowly, lingering as if it could never be washed away from his skin. Never felt it smother his throat with needles and leave him with a metallic taste in his mouth. That is, until today.
It was colder than usual but he still insisted on grabbing some ice-cream from the local convenience store, declaring it was his your reward for putting up with the party Sukuna hosted–the same party that ended in your dress being soaked in vomit. The atmosphere was perfect for sentiment, for talking–for confessing. 
You’re humming to the beat of the song, licking your lips clean of the ice cream you just ate. “Satoru,” you murmur his name softly, staring at him through your lashes. 
“Yeah?” His eyes drink in the sight of you: your droopy eyes from sleep, the faded lip tint on your lips, the hoodie he let you borrow that’s obviously a few sizes too big on you. There’s hardly any light coming in but he can still feel your eyes on him, the tension so thick he thinks he might suffocate from it. 
For a moment, he’s scared, fearful of what you were going to say because he knows this silence. This is the very silence that happens before someone confesses to him, the same suspense that he has to mentally prepare himself for since he knew he was going to break another heart. And he’s terrified that he might have to do it to you–his friend, his neighbor, someone who he’s known for a very long time. 
“I need to tell you something,” you start and he winces, shifting uncomfortably on the driver’s seat. 
“You do?” He mutters. You’re nervous. He can tell because he’s known you long enough to understand what you’re feeling–long enough to know that your eyes are darting from place to place, a habit of yours.
His chest squeezes when you take a deep breath just as he exhales, already making his mind to grant you a swift rejection. He hopes you can forgive him after this.
“--I like Getou and I need your help.”
“Listen, I’m sorry but I just don’t see you that way–”
He blinks, wondering if he heard you right or if he was drunk (he didn’t drink at the party because he was your ride home). “Wait what?”
It was your turn to blink now. “I like Getou and I–”
“I heard you the first time,” he cuts you off hastily, clearing his throat to play it cool. He runs a hand through his hair, grazing the side of his undercut. “Okay wow.”
Gojo mentally curses himself for not knowing what else to say other than humming pensively, busying himself by mixing the ice-cream in the tiny container. He still needs time to process, to mentally upload your words to his brain. You like Getou and not him? He pauses, repeating that thought again. 
You like Getou and not him. Part of him tells himself that this is exactly what he wanted since your friendship wouldn’t go to ruin. You managed not to catch feelings for him–managed not to fall for him like many others. Yet, he’s confused when another part of him doesn’t respond too well once he realizes that this was you he was dealing with.
“That’s not weird right?” You question, bringing your knees up to your chest and propping your chin atop of them to watch his reaction–reminding him to keep it cool. 
“Nah it’s not weird at all,” he said, not thinking straight when his next words escaped his lips. “So why Suguru?” And not me? Though, he keeps that last part to himself. 
“Well isn’t it obvious? He’s tall, handsome, and has a good personality.”
Am I not that? He asks himself, not bothered by how stuck up he may seem. “That’s not very specific from someone who likes him.”
You huff and he can tell you’re narrowing your eyes at him. “I know you don’t wanna hear me yap about the specifics, Satoru.”
“I do.” He says quickly.
You make a noise of surprise, looking interested in his sudden intrigue. “Well okay… Suguru’s very caring and attentive. Being around him makes me feel warm inside you know? I’m not sure when I started liking him but I just know that I just really want to be closer to him. And it doesn’t help that he’s just so smart and nice. And his looks are just a bonus.”
“Oh,” he utters, not even bothering to curse himself for his lack of response. He tries a weak smile. “You must really like him.”
Gojo can’t help but furrow his brows at the semi-embarrassed expression you wear—as if you were flustered at the mere thought of having a crush. “Oh, was I that obvious?” You ask, not even bothering to deny the fact that you were undoubtedly head over heels for his best friend.
Oh god, he thinks he might be sick and he doesn’t know why. 
“Are you going to help me?” Your voice cuts him out of his reverie and he’s cut back into reality–the reality being the anticipation in your eyes. Did you always look this pretty? 
Gojo nearly flinches at the thoughts that cross his mind, blaming the unprocessed shock for being the cause of these obscure ideas. He coughs. “Hold on. So you don’t like me right?”
“What? No I–” your eyes widen in understanding. “Oh so that’s what that was all about. You thought the person I liked was you! How cocky can you be to think everyone’s in love with you?”
“It’s not cocky if it’s true. I’m just really lovable y’know?”
You let out a sarcastic laugh. “That can’t be true since I’m not everyone.”
I know, he thinks to himself, staying silent as he watches you shuffle in your seat. He didn’t just dislike this idea you proposed, he hated it.  It wasn’t hard to just decline and keep it like that–let you figure your feelings on your own. 
Yet, something about the near-pleading look in your eyes made him reconsider and it filled him with an urge to smooth the wrinkles on your expression. He sighs loudly, rubbing the invisible crease in between his brows. “Well I guess you came to the right person because I’m an expert at this. 5 star ratings and all that. But what makes you think I’m going to do this for free?”
“Uh the goodness of your heart?”
“Cute,” he laughs. “But no. I want a coffee from the place everyday for a month.”
“What?! Are you insane? That means I’d have to wake up early everyday to get in line!” 
He shakes his head, waving his finger around with a disappointed expression. “A small price for love.”
“I don’t understand why you even need me for that. You can buy the whole shop yourself, ass,” you whisper the last part behind your palm, making his eyes light up in amusement.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Actually you know what? Fine,” you huff. “You’re right. It is a small price for love. But I’m not walking back and forth around campus to deliver your coffee.” 
“I got that covered,” he grins, already coming up with a plan in his head. He likes this, the banter you two typically enjoyed. It made your duo, a duo. In a normal situation, he’d relax and continue bothering you. Still, the feeling of dread gnaws at his throat and he tries to swallow it–tries to ignore it by pretending to be the same, goofy Gojo you’re used to. And he’s starting to think it’s hard to do that when you look up at him with such genuine gratitude. 
“Satoru.”
“Hm?”
“Thank you, I mean it.”
Gojo feels that emotion again, that visceral feeling where he might go sick and vomit all over the car. “Yeah.”
He thinks he would’ve preferred if you confessed to him instead. 
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Gojo wonders if stress (if you can call that) is enough to make someone wake up with a hangover the next day. He didn’t drink last night but he thinks he might have–considering the headache that was interrupting his morning. 
He’s in the middle of downing a glass of water when his phone buzzes, your name popping up as a notification. 
(Name): i’m gonna get ur coffee pls come 
Him: come ??? cum
(Name): it’s too early to be doing this 
He sees the bubbles appear before they disappear for a while, only popping up again when he’s in the middle of cracking an egg over the pan 
(Name): SATORU 
(Name): OHMYGOD SATORY SOI SOS 
Him: WHAT 
Him: HELLO??? 
(Name): GETOUS HERE OMG IM GONNA 
(Name): HE SAID HI TO ME 
(Name): WHAT DO I DO?
Gojo grips his phone a bit tighter, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. He sighs.
Him: say hi back 
Him: and then go PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
(Name): no wtf and i meant what do i after this silly 
(Name): i don’t know what to do im literally an npc rn
(Name): jk he just said bye :(
Him: should’ve done what i told u to do
Another name pops up from the top and his eyes scan the name, his brows raising in curiosity. He huffs at the message, feeling a wave of nausea cross him.
Suguru: You’re close friends with (Name) right?
Him: yeah why 
Suguru: Nothing
It’s silent for a few seconds and Gojo’s back to eating his eggs, tempted to pop a Tylenol to ease the growing headache. Contrary to popular belief, he was against the reliance of pain-relieving meds, opting to let his body figure things out on its own. Luckily for him, having food in his stomach was enough to relieve the headache.
His mind wanders back to the night in the car where you told him to help you with your crush on his best friend–not fully coming to terms with the fact that he wished you liked him instead. Since when did he start feeling this way and why did he need another man to make him realize he liked or even loved you? The thought of anyone having you for themselves was like hearing the sound of nails against a chalkboard and he was jealous. He finally admitted it. 
Gojo Satoru wasn’t an idiot when it came to his feelings and he’d be a fool if he kept denying his undeniable irritation that came with your crush for Suguru. He places the unwashed dish atop some other bowls and utensils, reminding himself to get to that later since his priority was not to keep you waiting at the coffee shop. 
Another buzz and Satoru nearly trips over his feet at the dread he gets from seeing his best friend’s message. Are you kidding me? He thinks to himself as he reads the message again. 
Suguru: She’s cute
Yeah, he thinks he might be sick again.
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Music’s playing in the background to substitute the sound of chatter that’d usually fill the room if Shoko were here. It wasn’t rare for Shoko to not flake on parties and it was even rarer for you to leave your comfort zone and go to one–especially the last one hosted by Sukuna; but this one was different. Suguru was the host and you’d be an idiot to miss it. 
You flinch at the feeling of your mascara poking the inside of your eye, cursing quietly as you take a q-tip to fix the mistake. 
The buzz of your phone makes you freeze.
Gojo: omw to ur house 
Gojo: ill be there in 10 
You: wait satoru don’t get mad but what do i wear 
Gojo: …
Gojo: YOU DIDNT LIKE THINK ABOUT THAT AN HR AGO?
You: I WANNA STAND OUT TO ATTRACT THE LOML OKAY? 
You: so i need ur opinion 
Gojo: dude
Gojo: ok
Gojo: just wear whatever u want it’ll be fine 
You: yeah but what specifically?
Gojo: not smth that makes you look like a grandma 
Gojo: like that dress u wore to the last party 
Gojo: no offense
You: but i liked that dress :(((( 
You: was it that bad?? I mean i had to throw it out bc of the vomit anyways
Gojo: it made u look like a grandma but in a good way 
You: wow okay thanks
Gojo: you looked nice 
Gojo: ANYWAYS  
Gojo: a pair of jeans 
Gojo: and that light blue long sleeve that shows ur shoulders 
You: really? 
Gojo: yeah and i’m leaving my apartment now so hurry up 
You like the message, tapping your lips to even out the lip tint before you rush to put on the shirt and jeans. Doing a quick double-take in the mirror, you spin once and prop your hands on your hips, snapping a few selfies to commemorate this day. 
You’re not sure how much time passes until you hear excessive honking outside, the sound of your phone buzzing as you see Gojo’s caller id. It’s enough to make your eyes roll as you grab your bag–leaving the door locked and the lights off. 
Gojo’s grin is boyish and teasing as his eyes scan you from top to bottom. “Oh look at you,” he coos. “You’re actually wearing what I told you to wear.”
“Well I felt like listening today,” you murmur, feeling a small ripple of embarrassment pass you. 
“Atta girl.”
“Shut up,” you mumble, feeling a grin form when you hear him chuckle. He puts his car into reverse mode, propping his arm on the top of your seat. Up close, you can get a stronger whiff of his cologne–its musk and earthiness slowing your heartbeat, calming you. Your eyes scan his outfit: a black pullover layered atop white t-shirt, paired with a pair of pants that were on the edge of being joggers and trousers.
On anyone else, the outfit wouldn’t have done them good like it did with Gojo. To your displeasure and awe, he looked effortlessly classy. And if he noticed your lingering gaze, he didn’t mention it. 
“What’s your game plan?” His voice draws you back to reality and you watch as he sets the car back into drive mode. 
“Game plan?”
“That’s right,” he glances at you, his shades sliding lower on his nose bridge. “Your plan to seduce the love of your life.”
“I’m not going to seduce him!” You gape, narrowing your eyes at his widening smile. His hand reaches down to turn the volume of the song a bit louder, stopping at the upcoming red light. 
“I’m just joking with you,” he laughs, his eyebrows furrowing slightly before that smile returns to his face, not quite meeting his eyes like it usually does. He sighs before breaking into a laugh that almost sounds bitter. “I’d pay to see that though.”
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At the party, you’d imagine yourself “mingling” with the crowd and letting loose–being the life of the party. Unfortunately for you, your feet are still stuck on the kitchen floor and you’re glued to Gojo’s side. You’d like to blame it on the vomit incident from Sukuna’s party and you’re fortunate enough to not be known as the “girl that someone threw up on.” 
Either way, you weren’t especially fond of the fact that you were keeping Gojo from having fun somewhere else. Like in one of the unoccupied rooms upstairs or in the living room playing some drinking games. It’s enough to make you feel somewhat guilty and suddenly regretful that you even came to this party. 
You tap his shoulder in the kitchen, offering him a reassuring smile. “Satoru. You don’t have to stay with me. I can manage myself!” 
“That’s what you said last time,” he chuckles, rummaging through Getou’s fridge to search for something sweet, frowning when he sees traditional Japanese snacks that his grandparents would eat. “What the hell?” He murmurs to himself.
“I mean it,” you say, taking a few steps back. “You have some fun. I don’t want to bother you too much.”
“You’re not–”
“Satoru. (Name),” a velvety voice greets, all too familiar. A warmth spreads over you. “You made it.”
“Getou,” you murmured to yourself, glancing at Gojo who was already staring at you. 
For a second, you see a subtle tick in his jaw, a sight you blame on the lighting since he’s back to normal the moment he turns to face Getou. He grins that teasing smile of his. “Suguru.”
“You looking through my fridge again, Satoru?” The brunette huffs, kicking the fridge’s door shut lightly–exchanging the grin with his friend. Your heart squeezes as he casts a lingering look at you, his smile polite. “Hey (Name). Good seeing you here.”
“Huh?” You perk up. “Oh you too?”
You inwardly curse at yourself for how awkward you were, giving Gojo a scathing look as he hides his laughter behind his palm. Luckily for you, Getou’s sweet and he was also good at redirecting topics. “You want something to drink?” 
“Oh sure,” you blink, offering a thankful smile. “Thank you Getou–”
“Suguru.” 
You pause, cocking your head to the side in confusion. “Sorry?” 
“Call me Suguru,” he hands you a red, plastic cup–his smile pretty enough to make your breath hitch. “We’ve known each other long enough.”
You feel your heart race as he looks at you expectantly, as if you knew what he wanted you to do next. You fidget, suddenly more bashful at the attention he was giving you. “Thank you Suguru.”
“No problem,” he smiles and you like how he looks satisfied with you. He hands another red cup to Satoru who stood beside you, the sarcastic grin of his returning. You take a tentative sip of the booze, watching curiously as Satoru and Suguru talked amongst themselves–reconnecting despite seeing each other only a day ago. 
You observe the two of them, mapping the details of Suguru’s face before your eyes land on Satoru–suddenly aware of the fact that the boy you spent most of your youth with grew up. Sure, you know that his face attracts attention from everyone but that was a token from childhood. It just didn’t hit you that he matured, grew up to be the man most would dream of dating. The realization is to make you wonder if Gojo ever registered the fact that you were growing too.
Slowly, you take another sip of your drink, blinking slowly as the alcohol settles in your system. Gojo’s the first to notice when you stumble, how your skin seems to heat up. “Hey hey,” he holds you by the shoulders, his voice soft. And if you paid closer attention, you would’ve seen the way Getou’s brows raised at how gentle his friend was acting towards you. “You okay?” 
Amidst your drunken state, you realize that Gojo didn’t bother drinking any of the liquor in his cup during his conversation with Suguru. And Suguru. Sweet Suguru who puts the pieces together and confirms that you’re a lightweight, the guilt evident in his expression. “Oh shit. I forgot how strong this liquor is.” 
“I’m okay,” you mumble and step forward, ready to excuse yourself to the restroom. Gojo looks like he’s about to say something until a group of unfamiliar faces barge into the kitchen, their faces bright as they greet Getou and Gojo with intentions to keep them occupied. Among the chatter and crowd, you find it easy to slip away–rushing to find a restroom. 
The first one you went in was already used by a couple that you remembered mumbling apologies to. The others were either locked or used. At some point, your gut told you to go upstairs and you staggered into an unoccupied bathroom where you splashed cold water on your face–sighing at how nice it felt against your skin.
The music’s only a fraction of its noise from up here and you’re surprised that there’s not much of a group upstairs. There’s a funny feeling in your stomach as you crouch slightly, mentally cursing yourself for downing the whole cup so quickly, ruining your chances to talk with Suguru–coherently at least. Part of you wants to sulk over your spoiled opportunities but another part of you just wants to crash on the tiled floor and sleep–rest your eyes for a bit. 
You’re thankful your mind was still conscious enough to rationalize the unsanitary conditions of the bathroom floor, opting to curl up in one of the hallways instead–shivering at the feeling of cold marble beneath you. Your eyes droop, a yawn escaping you. And you’re almost certain you would’ve fallen asleep if not for the gentle shaking of your shoulders. 
“Stop,” you whine softly, your vision blurry as you catch a glimpse of hair the color of snow and a pair of worried filled blue eyes. Your protests turn quickly to bemusement. “Satoru? What are you doing here?”
You think he smiles as he kneels down on one knee to be eye level with you. “How about I get you off the ground first?” 
“I don’t wanna. Let me sleep here,” you shake your head, ignoring how your body felt warm at how softly he treated you. 
“C’mon,” he chuckles. “The ground’s dirty. Let's get you to a bed at least.”
In your drunken state, your mind still decides it favors a soft comforter over cold marble and you see his eyes soften when you go limp in his arms–letting him lift you from the ground. “Good girl.”
Your mind goes fuzzy at the sound of that and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or something else that makes your temperature rise. In that simple moment, you let his arms wrap around you, cradling you to his chest as he makes his way downstairs. All your thoughts stop as your eyes close, drowning the sound of the party out as you permit sleep to take over. His hands give your thighs an occasional squeeze, the gesture oddly intimate yet you don’t bother questioning it or objecting to it. 
Even with the veil of sleep dropping on your form, you still recognize Suguru’s voice as he tells Satoru to take care of you, his tone apologetic–having been the one to give you the liquor. They talk for a bit and once more, you feel the bounce of each step as he carries you out the house.
You’re barely awake when Gojo puts you in the passenger seat and you feel disappointment wash over you when he stops holding you. You’re not sure when you grabbed onto the sleeve of his shirt, your eyes half-lidded as you peered up at him. “Don’t go.”
A noise of protest escapes your lips when he removes your cold hand from his shirt gently, rather taking it in between his warmer ones. “I won’t.”
“Satoru.”
“Hm?”
“I like when you compliment me.”
“Oh yeah?” He says, laughing a bit. “It’s hard not to.”
The music and cheers in Suguru’s house are still audible even in Gojo’s car, your vision getting darker and darker with each blink. Still, you can still feel Gojo’s hand gripping yours–his thumb rubbing circles on the skin as you invite sleep back in, taking deep breaths as you breathe in his cologne. 
And as sleep came to life, you allowed the dreams to live as well. 
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Was there such a thing as a relationship between dreams and memories? In moments of delirium, you can’t single out what’s real and what’s not–was it a dream or did it actually happen?
But now that days have passed and you’ve given yourself more time, you’re certain that Gojo was the one who carried you out of the house and spent his night caring for you. So you ruled out the possibility that the night was a dream, rather a memory that made you feel soft inside–grateful yet unsure. And if you wanted to ponder harder, you would’ve done so if not for the hell you were experiencing this week. 
Forgetting the content during a quiz. Getting yelled at by your boss. Having stepped in bird shit. Waking up late nearly every day because you’d forget to put your alarm on. 
If that wasn’t enough, you got in an argument with your parents over the phone. It was about something stupid and you were so frustrated that you ended up walking to some 7/11–buying yourself an ice-cream to cheer yourself up. The argument was so dumb and you weren’t even sure what you guys were even arguing about. All you knew that you should probably call them later to talk it out; you also knew that this week couldn’t get any worse.
What was Satoru doing right now? You think to yourself, pulling out your phone to check your messages–frowning when you saw none from him. Your eyes land on a message from Suguru, seeing the link he sent you to some video he found funny or intriguing. After the party, you were shocked to see an unknown number texting you, claiming it was Suguru and that Satoru gave your number to him. The day that happened, you texted him using exclamation marks and thanked him–smiling at your phone as you two exchanged witty messages with one another. 
You sighed, unlocking your phone and clicking Satoru’s contact and phoning him. You almost hang up after several rings but you hear his voice after the nth ring. “Hello?”
“Satoru?” You say, your voice cracking the second your lips part to speak. You weren’t expecting to cry and neither did Satoru–though you can hear the concern laced in his voice as he questions your whereabouts. 
“Where are you sweetheart?” You hear rustling in the background amidst his voice and your sniffles. “I’ll pick you up. Your location’s shared with me right?”
“Mhm,” you wipe your eyes, fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie. 
“Okay just stay there and don’t go anywhere. I’ll be there in a few. Don’t cry (Name).”
You think you might cry harder with how sweet his voice was. 
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Satoru thinks he might be the only one who notices the rift between you and him. And he’s not sure if he’s the one causing it or if it’s you. But after that night with you (in his car again), he’s been thinking about how soft you were in his arms; how he liked the way your head drooped against his chest. Or maybe he likes you but he’s not going to think about that unless he wants another headache. 
Regardless, he finds himself looking at his phone sporadically, subconsciously eager to see your name pop up unexpectedly–eager for things to go back to normal. Even though you two still speak, he’s almost sure that he’s not imagining the awkward tension in the air. 
Was he too intrusive when he carried you out to his car? Were you mad at him because he didn’t leave Suguru and you alone in the kitchen? It was a selfish thing to do, he admits. His original idea was to leave you alone with Suguru so you’d get to chat with him–get to know him like you intended to do at the party; but seeing Suguru give you that sly smile of his was enough to make Gojo ditch his plans of playing Cupid. 
If Gojo was a good man, he’d feel happy that you were getting what you wanted since he knew you weren’t the only one interested. Like with the message Suguru sent to Satoru and how he eyed you at the party; how he called Satoru over for a bit and told him that he understood why people liked you or found you attractive; how he commented on how the shirt you wore suited you. 
No shit, I picked it, he thought to himself as he recalled that night. Satoru always knew you were beautiful and he hated that everyone else knew too. You weren’t even his yet but he didn’t want to share you–to let anyone else hold you or have you. Seeing you blush and smile shyly at his best friend made him want to puke—made him want to claw his eyes out. That should be him and god he wishes it was.
He was selfish yet he never promised to be good. Yet, this was for you. He wanted you to be happy, is what he told himself whenever he saw you and Suguru talking. 
His phone buzzes and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly he snatches it, the anticipation in his eyes fading when he sees that it’s Suguru messaging him about the party today. Satoru sighs, rubbing the spot between his brows as he leans on the kitchen counter, suddenly reminded that he planned a party at his place today. It was an impulsive decision to forget about the tension between you two and Satoru’s kinda wishing he took the time to talk it out with you rather than planning something else. 
He invited a good amount of people and was going to invite you as well to give him a reason to call you. But lucky for him, you made things easier for him by calling him. Satoru thinks it’s not healthy for his blood temperature to rise just at the sight of your name on his phone and he’s already grinning when he picks up. “Hello?”
“Satoru?” 
Oh. He pauses, his brows furrowing at how your voice cracked as you tried to hide your sniffles. His first thought was to wonder who made you sad and he thinks it’s scary how hearing you cry was enough to send his emotions in a frenzy. But you needed him and he didn’t want you to be alone. “Where are you sweetheart?” He asks, the nickname flowing off his tongue before he can stop. “I’ll pick you up. Your location’s shared with me right?”
“Mhm,” You mumbled back and his heart nearly snapped in two with how dejected you sounded. He frowns, grabbing his jacket and his keys–rushing to slip on his sneakers. 
“Okay just stay there and don’t go anywhere. I’ll be there in a few. Don’t cry (Name).”
You make a sound of understanding and he hangs up, his finger tapping to click on Suguru’s contact. Satoru hears other familiar voices in the background but he doesn’t pay much attention to it. 
“What’s up Satoru–?”
“Party’s off.”
“What? Wait what are you–”
“Sorry something came up. I’ll tell you later,” he says, hanging up before his friend can say anything else. He knows he should feel bad for flaking out last minute but his list of priorities had you at the top of it. And he really didn’t care if anyone else would understand. 
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You’re regretting the choice of shorts in the chilly night air and the ice-cream you ate wasn’t helping you shiver any less. 
The way Satoru sounded made that warm, fuzzy feeling settle in your stomach again. He sounded like he would drop whatever he was doing just to get to you and it made you feel special. You think back to the sound of “sweetheart” from his lips, shaking your head when you feel your blood get warm.
“(Name)?” Satoru’s voice startles you from your thoughts and you think the sound of it could erase all your troubles. “You alright?” He asks, shrugging the jacket off his shoulders and draping them over your legs, kneeling down to see your face.
You only nod. “I want to go home.”
“Yeah I can take you back–”
“No,” you shake your head. “Back to your place.”
For a moment, you’ve stunned him but that surprise left as fast as it arrived. He sighs, tapping your knee with his finger. “Usually dinner comes first–”
“Not like that you idiot,” you kick him lightly, a grin forming on your lips. “Your methods of comforting are weird.”
“Yeah?” He laughs, the sound blending with the wind. “Well maybe I’m not trying to comfort you,” he eyes you with a teasing glint in his eyes and flashes a lopsided grin. He looked almost sweet as he did sly, the blend making your heart pick up in pace. 
You squirm, mustering a tone of nonchalance. “I changed my mind. I’m going back to my place.”
This time he chuckles, his eyes narrowing in amusement. “Nuh uh. It’s my job to wipe that frown off your face,” he says, the corny phrase making you roll your eyes. “C’mon, I’ll be good to you.”
You pretend to think, ignoring the attentive expression he wore. “Fine. I guess I’ll let you take me home.”
“That’s my girl,” he grinned, standing up to his full height. You beam at him, matching his steps as you two reach his door. By the time the two of you were settled at his place, you already spoke to your parents in private–clearing up the misunderstandings like Satoru reminded you to do. You were glad you had him and even more glad that things were falling back to place. 
Your eyes scan your surroundings, noticing how he must’ve tidied things up. “Did you clean your place?”
“Hm?” He grabs two mugs from the cabinet. “Oh yeah. I was going to have a party here.”
“Today?”
“That’s right,” he drawls, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. “I was going to call you to see if you wanted to go.”
“Really?” That was a shock to you. “Are you still gonna have one today?”
“Nah. Canceled it last minute.”
You pause, raising your brows as you try not to jump to conclusions. “Why’d you cancel it?”
“Had better things to do. I'd rather hang out with you anyways,” he says casually, smiling when he finds the packets of hot cocoa. “Found it!”
Did he cancel the party for me? You think to yourself, a bit surprised that you came to that conclusion; but if you were right and he did, you wouldn’t know what to feel other than appreciation and maybe something else. Whether that was true or not, you know that you should be feeling guilt and not giddiness from having him prioritize you. Was it normal to feel this way for Satoru? You’re about to let your thoughts fill your head but you feel your breath hitch at how he seems to lean closer to you. 
His hands move you by the hips, the touch barely lasting five seconds. “Sorry I gotta get the spoons,” he murmurs, paying no mind to how you hold your breath. Your eyes fall to his biceps, swallowing a gasp as you see how the black material of his shirt moved with every movement he makes. There was no way he was human when he looked like that.
Oh my god, you think to yourself, suddenly mortified at the fact that you were checking him out. What was wrong with you right now? You always knew Gojo was attractive but you didn’t think he was this attractive. And if he had any idea of your internal conflict he didn’t pay it any mind. 
“Can you go get the movie ready for me?”
“Uh huh,” you nod immediately, quickening your pace as you try to distract yourself. By the time he sits next to you, the blankets and snacks are already placed neatly on the living room table. You smile and mutter a thank you when he hands you the mug of hot cocoa. 
“Feel better?” He asks, propping an arm on the head of the couch once you’re halfway through the movie: a random romcom you picked to cheer you up. Even as someone who claims he’d rather watch a movie with more action, you think the drama that comes with romcoms intrigues him–much more than he’d like to admit. 
You take a sip of your drink, your eyes flitting to him. “Much better.”
“I bet,” he murmurs, his eyes glancing at the way your knees touched. The scene panels to a teary confession the female lead does, the music dramatic with strings in the background. You watch intently, observing the expressions both characters make on screen.
“Y’know, I never understood how they can always come up with a speech like that on the spot,” Satoru comments, plopping a few gummy bears in his mouth. “Isn’t that unrealistic?”
“It’s a movie,” you point out, watching as the male lead hung onto every word the female lead had to say. “It’s not supposed to be realistic.”
“I guess you’re right. But that stuff apparently happens in real life right?”
“Wouldn’t you know? You have people confessing to you all the time.”
“I don’t give them much time to continue speaking,” he shrugs. 
You don’t like how uneasy you feel after he says that. “Well, maybe it’s love that makes this kind of stuff happen.”
This earns you an amused snicker. “Of course you’d say that. You gonna do that with Suguru? Confess to him from the bottom of your heart?”
You roll your eyes. “To do that, I’d have to be in love with him.”
“Are you?”
“No,” you give him an incredulous look. “I hardly know the guy. I just really like him.”
He makes a sound of understanding but you feel as if you’re deluding yourself when you see the look of relief cross his face. You turn to him, the movie forgotten all of a sudden. “Would you do that?”
“What? Confess to Suguru with the bottom of my heart?” 
“Yeah sure. That’s what I meant.” you huff, seeing his teasing grin form. You sigh. “No like…confess to someone you love.”
He’s quiet, the faraway look in his eyes confirming that he’s deep in thought. You’re not sure why a pang of irritation hits you when you realize that there might be someone Satoru’s in love with. And you’re not sure if it’s because he’s not telling you or because you want to be that someone. You go with the former because you’re supposed to like Suguru. 
His eyes wander to meet yours and the tick in his jaw makes you nervous–makes your palms sweaty because he’s never looked at you like that. You’re not even sure words could describe what emotion he had on his face. He smiles–not the smile that’s crooked and boyish. It’s the smile that’s sharp and makes his eyes narrow. “I might.”
“You might?” You ask, hating how breathless your voice sounded to your ears–something that he notices with the way amusement practically glimmers in his eyes. You swallow a gasp when his gaze falls to your lips, quickly flying back to your eyes. 
“Maybe,” he whispers and you can’t help but wet your lips, feeling faint when the bright blue of his eyes darkens to black. You don’t flinch when his head tilts, his arm coming to the side to trap you between the couch. His cologne overwhelms you, makes you drunk on him. He’s so close that you can feel his breath hit your face. 
“Satoru–” 
The sound of your phone buzzing crushes the tension quickly and you let him lean back–looking as if he had more to say. You feel a smidge of disappointment as you grab your phone. “It’s Suguru,” you say and you’re not sure why your inner voice begs Satoru to tell you to ignore the phone call–to act like he cares more. 
“Shouldn’t you answer it?” He questions and you hate that sinking feeling in your stomach when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you–as if acting like he wasn’t about to kiss you seconds ago. You can only frown, nodding as you watch him stand up–still not offering you one single look. “I’ll clean up.”
As you glance at your phone, at the name of Suguru appearing on your screen, you hope for the slightest bit of joy–that lovesick feeling you get whenever you’d see him. Yet, it felt wrong. This felt wrong. And apparently, Suguru could tell from your voice that there was something bugging you. 
“Is everything alright? You don’t sound too good.”
Your eyes linger on Satoru’s figure moving to the kitchen. You think Suguru mentions something about a date but you don’t pay much attention, not feeling all that bad as you drown out his voice. “Yeah. I’m fine. What were you saying?”
“I was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with me tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 7 and we can–”
“Sure,” you say, trying to ignore the way your body lurches at your response–as if it didn’t want this. “Sure. I’ll see you at 7.”
You don’t catch what he says when he hangs up, only thinking of how Satoru looked at you when he was leaning closer. The thought doesn’t horrify you as much as it should but you think that if he had kissed you, you probably would’ve kissed him back. 
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If someone told you a month ago that you were going on a date with Suguru, you would’ve cried tears of joy and celebrated. But now, you’re almost undeniably feeling a wave of indifference hit you and it feels awful. Suguru’s perfect–his sharp features and his charming smile that’d send anyone into a frenzied mess. Or maybe most tend to fixate on how suave he is with his words–mixing the subtlest of flirtations with simple compliments.
He’s everything you could’ve asked for. Yet, you find yourself missing the ruthless beauty you saw in Satoru–the striking blue of his eyes and the rare color of his hair. You find yourself missing the rasp of his voice, how it’d soften that night when he comforted you; you find yourself missing his warm and strong embrace as he took care of you in your inebriated state; you find yourself missing how close he was that night on his couch and how he looked at you. 
At some point, you found yourself replaying that scene over and over again. The first few times, you were giddy with hormones as you imagined him leaning closer and kissing you. After a while, you wanted the image gone because it didn’t happen. He pulled away. He let you pick up the call from Suguru. He acted like nothing happened when in reality, a lot did happen. You two were finally breaching the line of friends and he knew that. 
So why? That question plagued your mind for days after and every time you think you forgot about it, the memory of him would remind you all over again. And when he only congratulated you when you told him about your date with Suguru you felt betrayed. Why don’t you care? You almost blurted out but technically he did care. After all, he was the one who was trying to set you guys up so why did you suddenly want to change your mind?
You think you might hate him a little for being so good at acting like everything’s normal and you think you might hate more for making your heart beat so fast. Things weren’t supposed to end up like this. You weren’t supposed to imagine your best friend kissing you breathless or taking you on a date. 
Everything’s going to fall into place, you tell yourself. You’ve already dolled up and were in the middle of spraying your perfume when Getou messaged you that he was already here. He’s relaxed in the car as you enter the car. This scene feels the same, you think to yourself, recalling the way Gojo greeted you the last time he picked you up.
“You’re wearing the shirt you wore to the party,” Getou points out and you look down at your shirt, gaping at the revelation that you’re wearing the same top Gojo told you to wear. Even with the company of another man, your subconscious still wishes he was here. 
“I didn’t even notice,” you mumble, smiling at the brown-haired male as he drives. The small talk is all natural as you two make your way to the restaurant and you’re grateful that Suguru’s such an easy person to talk with. He’s nice. Really nice and you feel almost guilty for not being as enthusiastic as you wanted to be. 
It’s only when you’re midway through the meal that he mentions it. “You’re not here.”
“What?”
“Here,” he shrugs, glancing at you with an empty smile. “You’re thinking about something else aren’t you?”
“I’m not–”
“Don’t worry I’m not mad,” he says and you know he’s telling the truth. “I’m curious. What are you thinking about?”
This makes you squirm in discomfort, a bit uneasy at how perfectly he read you. Satoru’s always made comments about Getou’s intuitive feeling for emotions and you’re starting to think he wasn’t exaggerating. “What if I don’t wanna tell you?” You joke.
“Then you’d leave me to assume,” he answers easily, the corner of his lips curling upwards. “I’m not an idiot (Name). I know when a lady’s thinking about someone else in my presence.”
When you try to protest, he only smiles. “Is it Satoru?”
Your silence is enough said. You want to deny him–want to shake your head and utter a firm “no.” But something about the question makes you lose your sense of thought and Suguru understands that too. “Are you in love with him?”
This catches your attention. “No. I like you not him.”
“Aren’t we well past the point of lying now?” He gives a good-natured chuckle. “If you liked me then you wouldn’t have looked at your phone so many times as if you were expecting a call.”
You widen your eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to–”
“Nah I’m really not mad,” he sighs. “But I’m interested in why you didn’t decline my offer for a date.”
You’re silent for a while, musing over his words. “When you called me, Satoru and I were about to kiss. Or well–at least I think we were about to kiss.
“So why’d you pick it up? I know Satoru enough to know that a call from me isn’t enough to make him stop with whatever he’s doing,” he raises a brow and you catch a roll of his eyes as he remembers something. 
“It’s because he was the one who was setting us up together.”
Suguru makes a sound of confusion, nodding at you to continue. You take a big breath. “I asked Satoru to help me get with you.”
Getou makes a “o’ with his mouth, nodding in consideration as he processes your words. His pity makes you feel small and you’re finally experiencing the impact tenfold. “Oh (Name).”
“Yeah,” you shrug. “So now I’m pretty sure I messed up the friendship because I was stupid and he’s never gonna like me back–”
“That’s not true,” he stops you, taking a sip from his wine. “Satoru’s different around you.”
“Well that’s because I’ve known him for a while now.”
“Maybe. But he doesn’t go out of his way to help people like he does with you. Even an idiot could notice that.”
“That doesn’t mean he likes me back–”
“You don’t know that yet,” he retorts, that smile of his returning again. “Just like I didn’t know you were in love with my best friend the entire time.”
You wince, swallowing as you peer up at him. You know he didn’t intend for the comment to burn but a small part of you thinks he did it on purpose. The sight of you sulking brings a wider grin to play on his face. “Relax. I’m only playing with you,” he pauses. “I’m a bit jealous that Satoru's got such a cute girl in love with him though.” 
His teasing makes you laugh. “What if he doesn’t love her back?”
“Then he’d be an idiot,” he says, giving you a look as he asks for the bill. “If he breaks your heart you know who to go to. I’d be happy to have you for myself.”
You roll your eyes, smiling softly when he coyly smiles. Suguru was kind enough to offer to drop you off at your place but you told him you wanted to see Satoru—bringing a surprised look on the brown-haired male’s face. You’re not sure how apparent it was, but you reeked of anxiety and Suguru was quick to point it out.
“I’ll wait for you,” he says nonchalantly, shooing you with his hand once you stare at him in bewilderment. “Go. Just do me a favor and message me when you guys are gonna get uh intimate.”
“We’re not—“ you click your tongue at his grin. You thank him, rushing to Satoru’s flat—the sound of your heels clicking against the floor. 
If you were in a movie, there would be dramatic music playing in the background—perhaps orchestra or a sappy love song. The scene was so cliche but you’re understanding why the protagonists always ran: it was love. You were in love with Gojo Satoru. 
You ring his doorbell, fixing your hair as you ready yourself to see him—mentally preparing the script of your confession. Please be home, please be home, please—
The door opens and a plethora of blue looks back at you, the surprise evident in them. You visibly brighten, smiling as you see him. “Satoru I—“
“Satoru?” another voice says from behind him—the voice evidently female. You freeze, feeling as if this image was in slow motion as you see a glimpse of a girl behind Satoru. Your eyes flit to both of them, the speech you prepared in your head drying up like a sore. “Who’s this?”
You hate that you can only watch. “It’s just a friend. Why don’t you go back inside for a bit, yeah?”
She’s so pretty, it hurts. There wasn’t a speck of imperfection on her and the need to curl up in a ball never felt stronger. The girl nods at Satoru, glancing at you in curiosity as she leaves you two alone. 
You think you might hate a little bit for looking at you in concern. “Is there something wrong? Are you okay? If something—“
“No. Nothing’s wrong I’m just—“ you say, wishing your voice was louder at this moment. You avoid his eyes, fearing that you’d end up crying in front of him if you continued to stare at him. “I need to go.” 
“What? But you just got here—“
“I don’t know why I came here. This was a mistake and I—“ you sigh shakily, turning on your heel to leave. 
Satoru grabs you by the wrist, his gaze soft as he shakes his head when he sees you try to pry his hand off of you. “Just tell me what I can do—“
“Suguru’s waiting for me,” you say quickly, ignoring the way his face drops. “He’s outside right now.” 
You hold your breath the moment his hand slowly slips off your wrist, taking a few steps back as you make your way outside. Not once do you turn back as you try your best to hold the tears in—ultimately failing as they fall as quickly as they appear. 
By the time you reach Suguru’s car, your make-up is already ruined. At first, he snaps his head back at you with a smile, the curve of lips quickly disappearing as he sees your lip trembling. “No?”
“No,” you confirm, sitting back into the car and wiping your tears with a tissue he hands you. There’s no words spoken between you two as he starts the car, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. Ironically, you listen to the soundtrack of “The Other Woman” playing in his car and he’s quick to change the song. He clears his throat.
“I didn’t think he was that stupid,” he says after some time, signaling right as he reaches the stop light. 
“He wasn’t,” you murmur. “I was the stupid one for thinking that we could be more than friends.”
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After the ordeal a couple nights ago, you’re not even ashamed that you’re blatantly avoiding Gojo like the plague. You even turned off your read receipts for him which you would’ve found so petty if you didn’t feel so frantic at the sound of his name. Originally, you thought he’d put up more of a fight and be more persistent in getting your attention–only you were proven wrong when you didn’t see any of his attempts increasing. 
Disappointed, you were caught in a dilemma. You wanted this distance but craved his presence. At some point, your thoughts ran dry and you were in a slump. Were you always this bad at making up your mind?  
No. You weren’t. You didn’t think excessively hard when you decided you liked Getou and when you stopped liking him. Nor did you think super hard about your other crushes. Gojo made your brain hurt and if this was love, you’re not sure you really liked it; but it felt so nice to think about how it would feel to be loved by him–to have him kiss you. 
Which is why you thought it was a great idea to avoid him because surely time makes the feelings fade. And you hope they fade fast–especially after you saw him with that girl. You bite back your jealousy at the thought of what they did together. Today was supposed to be a mental health day. It was if fate allowed you to have little to nothing to do and you were going to take advantage of it. 
The coffee house was ambient with the occasional loud laughter from groups of friends. You were halfway through your book, taking a sip from your drink as you flipped the pages. This was what you were meant for: reading novels in a cafe, keeping a low profile, and protecting your peace. 
You’re about midway through the big plot twist until you hear the sound of a chair scraping and your heart freezes in your chest when you see Gojo stare back at you. Only this time, he looks serious and even annoyed. 
“I knew I’d find you here,” he begins, tapping his finger nails on the wooden table. You don’t miss the way a few people take a few double-takes when they walk past him. So much for keeping a low profile. 
“Gojo,” you acknowledge him awkwardly, fidgeting with the pages of your book.
Your stomach does a flip when his jaw twitches and his eyes cross your face. He sighs, leaning back and adjusting his seating position. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“You literally just called me Gojo,” he said and if you were more rational, you would’ve laughed at how childish he sounded over you not using his first name. 
“A lot of people call you Gojo,” you point out, still not meeting his eyes. 
“You’re not just ‘a lot of people.’ And you always call me Satoru,” he murmurs. 
You tense up. There he goes again: treating you like you’re special. It makes you confused and makes your heartbeat skip. You clear your throat. “I’m not mad at you.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?” He says, a bit loudly at that. It was unlike Gojo to attract attention to personal matters in public and the guilt hits you. You were so caught up in your own feelings that you completely ignored how he would’ve felt. Even if he only thought of you as a friend, anyone would’ve felt mad if put in the situation you put Gojo in. 
You glance at the curious gazes in the cafe, grabbing him by the hand as you pull him outside to a secluded area. You quickly drop his hand, a bit surprised that he let you even hold it. “What are you talking about?” You ask, not sure why you’re playing dumb. 
“You’re avoiding me,” he says, staring down at you. Sometimes, you forget how tall Satoru really is and how his gaze can make anyone feel small. “Did I do something to make you mad?”
You think back to him and the girl. “No you didn’t do anything.”
“Then what the hell is it?” He says, sounding more mad than you initially thought. His eyes scan over your face–observing your pursed lips and aversion from his eyes. He clicks his tongue. “Is this about the other night?”
You really wish you didn’t snap your head so fast to meet his eyes. The other night could’ve meant many things but you knew he was referring to a specific one. “No,” you say and you already know he doesn’t believe you. 
“(Name),” he says softly. “Were you jealous?” Hearing him saying it out loud makes you cringe. You shake your head adamantly, trying to muster up the courage to not break eye-contact with him. You wonder if he could hear how loud your heartbeat was. “I’m not jealous. Why would I be jealous?”
“You tell me,” he voices in that tone that tells you that he’s already figured it out. For all the years you’ve known Gojo, you’ve become well-acquainted with his habits and his mannerisms. And you knew him well enough to realize that he wasn’t going to stop with the questions until you told him the truth. 
He always did this. Always made sure to pummel the truth out of you and it didn’t matter how dirty he played. “Then why did you go to me in the first place? Didn’t you have Suguru outside waiting for you?”
“I–”
“What was so important about what you wanted to tell me that you left Suguru waiting for you? What was it and why are you so scared that you’re avoiding me?”
“It’s because I like you!” You finally say, knowing that he bested you in this game of his. The regret hits you so hard you feel like running away again. Only this, he doesn’t let you when he pulls you by the shoulder. 
“What?” He says breathlessly, his eyes wide with wonder. It’s over, you think to yourself. He’s going to hate you after this because you ruined the friendship. 
“I avoided you because I like you,” you admit quietly. “And because I saw you with that girl the other night.”
“(Name)...” 
“Stop,” you murmur, feeling the tears form. “Stop. I already know what you’re gonna say, okay? It doesn’t matter anymore.”
You shrug him off, wiping your tears with your sleeve. The plans for “protecting your peace” almost seemed silly now because you couldn’t rewind time and undo all of this. You don’t bother saying goodbye to Gojo as you take your chances in leaving. And you desperately wonder how you were going to move on from this. 
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Gojo thinks he’s in a fever dream. Your confession stunned him into oblivion and if it weren’t for your tears, he thinks he might’ve stayed in one spot for hours on end. The night you came over, Gojo already had enough on his mind. Seeing you in the flesh made him lose the logical side of his brain and his mind just replayed that night you two nearly kissed. 
He remembered being able to taste how nervous you were–how you found purchase on his shoulders as he tried his hardest not to pin you to the couch and kiss you stupid. He remembered how soft you were and how that thought would torture him for days on. 
Gojo knew what he did after was an asshole move but he thought the phone call from Suguru served as a reminder that he couldn’t have you. You two were best friends and to ruin that because he wanted you was selfish of him. He was already selfish enough to want to keep you for himself but you wanted Suguru. 
That’s why when you came to his place, he was confused. Gojo did something stupid and didn’t want the thoughts of you to keep popping up. He recalled dialing the number of some girl he stopped talking to ages ago just to not have you occupy his mind. 
When he saw your brows furrow at the sight of her, he was surprised to say the least. He ruled out the possibility of jealousy early on and just kept it as that. But now, on this chilly afternoon and in some secluded corner, you were confessing to him. 
You like him. You like him back. Sure, you didn’t love him like he loves you (or at least he thinks so) but that's besides the point. He collects himself the moment he sees the tears forming in your eyes, panic coursing through him. 
Did his silence make you misunderstand? Did you know that he was ready to scream and tell the whole world that he finally got the girl of his dreams? How he was prepared to pull you into a crushing hug and hold you like he had heaven in his arms? 
He forgot you weren’t a mind reader and it dawned on him that he caused your tears. He doesn’t want to be the guy who lets misunderstandings marinate nor does he want to be the cause of your fallout. He was going to fix this. 
If you thought he was going to let you go that easily then you severely underestimate him. Because Gojo Satoru was willing to fight for your love.
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You think you’re in some sappy k-drama when he grabs you by the wrist the second time. If you weren’t crying your eyes out, you would’ve laughed at him and he would’ve laughed with you. But there’s only a wave of frustration when he doesn’t let go. “Satoru let me go–”
“No,” he says with a deadpan and you almost think he sounds desperate. You’re about to say something but he only steps closer. “You can’t run away like you did before. That’s the easy way out–”
“I’m not–”
“You are,” he interrupts. “And I’m not gonna let you because you’re gonna listen to what I have to say.”
You’re almost reluctant to stay silent but you give in when he squeezes your wrist–as if begging you to stay. You sigh. “Fine.”
“Good,” he whispers, racking his brain for what to say. He takes a deep breath. “A while back, I said I didn’t understand how the characters from romance movies always knew what to say in moments like these. You know those super long speeches? It seemed unrealistic to me but I think I understand now.”
You let him continue, clinging onto every word that falls from his lips. “It’s so easy to say stuff like this. When you’re in love with someone, you notice the little things about them. I noticed you and you were the only thing on my mind. You still are the only thing on my mind. Do you get what I mean?”
You watch in awe as he continues, stuttering over some of his words which was so rare for him. “The night you told me you liked Suguru I was so annoyed. I’ve never gotten jealous of Suguru or anyone but I wanted to be the one that you liked. I wanted to be the one that you dressed up for and the one you smiled at. It drove me insane when you went on a date with him and I hate that I didn’t just say fuck it and steal you away sooner.”
He takes a chance to catch his breath, ruffling his hair as he finally flashes you a crooked grin–a mix of embarrassed and boyish. “That girl you saw me with…I never did anything with her,” he admits and you think you might fall over from shock. “I couldn’t. I just kept thinking about you and I wanted you on my mind all the time. I didn’t want to think about anyone else and didn’t want anyone to take your place–”
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you,” he finally says. “I already said that earlier but I want to say it again. I think I’ve always loved you–even when we were kids. I think little kid me always wanted your attention. I just never knew what I felt until I realized that you weren’t mine–not mine to love. And I don’t think there’s nothing in the world that I want more than you.”
At this point, your mouth is already ready to catch flies as you listen to his ramblings about his affections. You think you might cry. Gojo’s usually not good with words but you can tell how genuine he is–how much he meant this. “Then all those times you helped me with Suguru?”
“I hated doing that,” he huffs. “I swear I was about to punch Suguru every time he called you cute.”
You laugh, feeling jittery all over. “Would you?”
“I’m a bit worried that you like that idea a bit too much.”
You grin, shrugging. “Maybe a little. I guess I should tell you that I really wanted you to kiss me when we were on the couch.”
“You did?” He practically beams, cupping your face with his hand. You feel your stomach do twists when his thumb grazes the skin of your cheek softly, as if this was always normal. 
“And I should probably tell you that I love you too,” you say firmly, gaining a rush of confidence. “And you should probably kiss me right now.”
The smile on his face might just be the prettiest thing you’ve seen in the world. He leans in, cupping your face as he presses his lips against yours. The way he holds you makes you feel safe and you think you might love him a little more when he moves his hand to your neck. 
You break the kiss. “Does this mean we’re dating now?”
He laughs. “Do I need to kiss you again for you to say yes?” 
When you nod, he pulls you in again and again. And if this was his way of asking, you’d say yes each time. 
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daisynik7 · 7 months
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Teach Me, Senpai!
Pairing: Ino x f!reader x Nanami
Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Word Count: ~2.6k
cw: smut - threesome, spit-roast, PIV sex (doggy style), blow job, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, Nanami is sorta a perv oops, Ino calls Nanami senpai, a hint of a breeding kink, use of pet names, everyone is an adult here in case that doesn’t come across clearly
Summary: Takuma Ino is your silly, golden retriever boyfriend who brings you along to meet his mentor, Nanami Kento. You’ve heard a lot about him, mostly because your boyfriend constantly praises him for being so amazing. You underestimate how close their relationship is until Ino starts asking his "senpai" for pointers on how to spice things up in the bedroom. What better way to learn than to demonstrate, right?
Author’s Note: I'm currently in heat, can you blame me? I tried my best to edit and proofread, sorry if there are any glaring grammar mistakes or typos, please ignore! Tagging @todorosie @crazychaoticizzy @gojoloves @brightnessemma @batafuraikisu (I know you didn't ask, but I'm tagging you anyways bc ily and I think you'd like this lol). I'm sorry if I missed any tags, Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you! Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciate, thank you for reading! MDNI divider by @/cafekitsune.
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“You’re going to love him, I swear!” Ino insists, dragging you down the hallway of the office building, past empty cubicles. It’s past five and all the employees are out for the remainder of the day. 
“I just don’t see why I have to meet him,” you argue, following him reluctantly.
“Because he’s important to me! He’s my mentor, my senpai! I have the highest respect for him, and I think it’s cool for you to finally put a face to a name. Aren’t you curious about the guy I’m always talking about?”
“Not really,” you answer, rolling your eyes. Honestly, you’ve grown sick of hearing your boyfriend gush so much about this Nanami fellow. You’re starting to feel jealous about how highly he thinks of this other man. “Why are we even here? This seems like a very random meeting spot.”
“We debrief here sometimes after our missions. He used to be a salary man, so I guess they still let him use the office.” They arrive at a closed door at the end of the hall. Ino knocks twice, a bright smile on his face, a little too excited for this.
A well-built blonde man answers, donning a blue dress shirt and spotted tie. You immediately notice how large his hands are, clenched to the door frame, staring at you from behind steampunk glasses. “Hello.”
“Nanami! Hey! This is my girlfriend, the one I’ve been telling you about.” You introduce yourself to him with a handshake, confirming that they are indeed very big compared to yours. You feel guilty noticing something that can be misconstrued as inappropriate, even lewd in most cases, so you quickly let the thought fade, stepping inside the room. 
It’s a normal looking office, quite barren, except for the few papers stacked on the desk and a map posted on one of the walls. There’s a single chair facing the table, so you take that as Ino stands beside you, arm around your shoulders. “Thanks for letting us stop by. I really wanted to introduce you two to each other.”
Nanami nods curtly, leaning on the edge of the desk in front of you. Your eyes almost drift toward his crotch, curious about his size, but you resist the temptation, ashamed of yourself for even imagining something so completely wrong, especially with your boyfriend right next to you. “You said you wanted to speak to me about something,” he says, focusing on Ino. He removes his glasses, tucking them in his breast pocket.
“Ah, right! Well, I’m a little shy to ask, especially since I haven’t mentioned it to her yet…” Ino scratches his nape nervously, tugging his beanie to cover his reddening ears.
You look at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
He bites his lip, choosing his words carefully before speaking. “Well, you know how you and I have been…you know, having some trouble in the bedroom?”
At that, you immediately freeze, gaping at him, shocked. A strangled noise comes out of Nanami’s throat, equally jarred.
Ino continues. “I want to get some advice from someone I really trust, like Nanami.” He glances between you, waiting for a response, an uneasy grin on his face. 
You’re stunned, heat surrounding your entire body now, mortified that your boyfriend would casually bring this up without any warning whatsoever. It’s no secret to either of you that your sex life has gotten a bit lackluster recently. Besides missionary and the occasional blowjob, there isn’t much else that you’ve tried in the bedroom. Neither of you are that experienced to begin with, and you both lack the confidence to initiate something different, something new. It’s a matter that you’ve been meaning to resolve privately. Or so you thought. 
No one speaks for what feels like an eternity. You’re tempted to grab your boyfriend and haul ass out of there, hoping this entire conversation can be forgotten or played up to be some kind of cruel, sick joke. However, you remain seated, curiously anticipating Nanami’s response. After all, you haven’t flat-out refused yet, and neither has he. 
Nanami clears his throat. “What kind of advice do you need?” You’re surprised that he’s even entertaining the idea. 
“I just want a few tips on how to spice things up,” Ino answers. “Make it more enjoyable for her.” He puts his arm around you again, squeezing your shoulder. You don’t know whether to punch him or kiss him; the arousal growing between your legs says the latter. The thought of another man who’s practically a stranger instructing your eager boyfriend on how to pleasure you is titillating and definitely something different, something new. You won’t deny it: you’re intrigued. 
Nanami crosses his arms over his chest, avoiding either of your gazes, focused on the floor instead. “I will help, if you both consent to it.”
Ino turns to you with puppy dog eyes. “Babe, you cool with this?”
Too invested now to refuse, you reply, “Sure.”
Your boyfriend lets out a sigh of relief, the tension relaxing in the air surrounding you. “Sweet. Me too.” He looks at Nanami, a bright smile on his face now, clearly thrilled about this. “What’s first, senpai?”
Nanami clears his throat again, standing up straight, taking a step towards you. “Well, foreplay is always a good place to start.”
Ino sticks his finger up. “Right! Foreplay. Uh, do you have a pen and paper so I can take notes…?”
“You don’t seriously need to take notes on foreplay, do you?” he snaps. “It’s as simple as kissing and touching on all the right spots.”
“What spots are those?” 
“It’s probably better if you ask her.” Nanami points to you, making direct eye contact. “Where do you like to be touched?”
You swallow hard, timid from being put on the spot like this. “Just the normal places.”
“The two of you have to communicate better if this is ever going to work out,” he says, a hint of impatience in his tone. “Show him.”
Committing to this fully now, you stand up, grab Ino’s hand and brush it against your lips. “I like it when you kiss me. And when you touch my lips.” 
He smiles at you. “That’s good.”
“You can also put your fingers in my mouth every once in a while. If you want,” you suggest, licking the tip of his middle finger. 
He smirks. “Yeah. I definitely want that, too.”
“Sometimes, it’s better to learn by doing it,” Nanami interjects, watching the two of you carefully. 
You gaze at Ino’s lips, then into his eyes, nodding. He leans in, kissing you slowly. He’s always been a good kisser, a great one, actually. The problem is that he’s too gentle with you. 
“Kiss her neck,” Nanami orders, arms at his sides now, hands clenched into tight fists. 
Ino follows, trailing down your chin until he’s at your neck, sucking on your skin. 
“Put your fingers in her mouth. She said she likes that, right?”
Ino hums, tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb before pushing it in. You surround him, using your grip to pump him in and out of you. His other hand drifts to your waist, teasing the elastic of your pants.
“Are you getting wet, sweetheart?” Nanami’s voice is low and sultry; the use of the pet name has you unraveling much quicker than you expect. Without thinking, you breathe out, “Yes,” pushing his fingers deeper down your throat. 
“Fuck, baby,” Ino moans, hot on your ear. “Where else do you want to be touched?”
You pull him out, swallowing your thick saliva, placing his hand between your legs. “Touch me here.”
Ino, eyes glossy with lust, slowly shimmies your pants down your legs, revealing your soaked panties. “Oh shit, you really are wet, fuck.”
“Eat her out,” Nanami demands. There’s a desperate gruffness in his voice that’s undeniable now, and one glance is all it takes for you to realize that he’s hard, an impressive bulge strained in his slacks. He shoves all his belongings off the desk, making room for you. “Here. Do it here.”
Ino curses under his breath, cock stiff in his sweats, leading you to the table, where you sit at the edge, spreading your thighs open for him. He slips your panties off, licking his lips before diving into your arousal, tongue pressed firmly on your clit. “Fuck,” you moan, squirming from the sensation. 
Nanami walks to the other side, near your head, staring at Ino’s face buried in your pussy. Instinctually, you reach for him, pulling him by the belt, tongue hanging out. His eyes flit to yours, surprised when you say, “Touch me, senpai.”
Ino moans into you, clearly turned on by it. Obliging, Nanami hoists your shirt off, leaving you in just your bra, which he hastily unhooks to bare your chest. Bending towards you, he wraps his lips around one breast, suckling at your teat, his hand working the other nipple, pinched between his fingers. You’re close to your climax; you just need a little bit more. As if he can read your mind, Nanami releases you with a pop, saying, “Suck on her clit until she comes. Fuck her with your fingers at the same time.” His sudden vulgarity spurs you on, grinding your hips against your boyfriend’s face, pulling Nanami back to your tits.
Ino muffles, puckering his lips around you, sliding his middle finger inside you. You throw your head back on the desk, ecstasy rippling through your entire being, knees shaking with sensitivity. 
“Yeah, she likes that,” Nanami purrs, flicking his tongue on your peaked nipples. “Put another in. One at a time, until she’s full.”
Ino manages to fit three of his digits inside you before you orgasm with him latched to your swelling bud, coating him in your slick. He doesn’t stop licking until you’ve come down from your high, pushing his head away, overstimulated. Nanami removes himself from you, unbuckling his belt, watching intently as your boyfriend slips his wet fingers inside your mouth. “Taste yourself babe. You’re so fucking good.” You slurp your own juices off him, pussy throbbing, aching to be fucked. 
“You like that, don’t you, sweetheart?” Nanami murmurs, shimmying out of his pants, erection protruding from his briefs. He palms it, rubbing his thumb over the wet spot oozing from the tip. “Ino, tease her a little bit.”
“Yes sir,” he salutes, pulling down his bottoms, cock sprung against the hem of his sweater. He taps the tip of his dick on your puffy bud, smiling wide as you writhe for him. “Damn, baby. I’ve never seen you this wet before.”
“It’s a good thing you came to me then, isn’t it?” Nanami mentions, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. “Now turn around for us, princess. It’s going to feel so much better for you like this.”
You obey, readjusting your body to bend over the desk, ass pushed towards Ino, desperate to be used by them both. Your boyfriend positions his cock at your entrance, huffing, “You ready, baby?”
“Yeah. Fuck me, Ino,” you moan. “Fuck me hard.”
He glides in slowly, stretching you out little by little, easing into you. Once he’s all the way in, groin pressed to your ass, he starts thrusting at a steady pace. It increases gradually until he’s pounding away at you, hitting that sweet spot over and over until your eyes glaze over, in a total state of bliss. 
Nanami studies you, enjoying the show until he notices you staring at the bulge in his briefs, tongue lolling, practically begging for him. He smirks at you. “You want all your holes stuffed, don’t you, sweetheart?”
You nod, drool leaking from the sides of your mouth, eyes weepy, peering up at him. How could he resist such a cock hungry slut like you? Especially when you look at him like this? 
“I’m going to give you my cock then. Think you can take it?” he asks, shoving his underwear off, cock flopping against his abdomen. 
“Oh yeah, she can fucking take it,” Ino grunts, hands gripped to your hips, still fucking you with fervor. “Right babe?” He delivers a fresh slap to your ass, which echoes off the walls of the office. 
“Yeah, I can take it,” you mumble, gulping down the spit collecting on your tongue. 
Nanami hums, satisfied with your answer, inching his dick closer to your mouth. “Open up for me, sweetheart.”
You do, swallowing him until he bottoms out to the back of your throat, testing your gag reflex. He stays still, staring at you, relishing this lewd sight. “Ino, your girlfriend looks so pretty with my cock in her mouth. Don’t you agree?”
“Fuck, yeah. So fucking hot how she just takes it. She’s a good girl, always has been,” he says from behind you, spreading your cheeks open to watch himself disappear into your pussy with each thrust. 
“You’re a lucky man,” Nanami mutters, tipping your chin up, gazing into your eyes. “And you’re a lucky girl, aren’t you? Getting fucked by your boyfriend and his senpai.” Nanami begins to move, pumping himself in and out of your hungry mouth, your tongue running along the underside of his dick. 
Ino shrugs his beanie off, running his fingers through his hair, damp with perspiration. “Oh fuck, baby, you’re taking us so fucking good.”
“Like a proper slut,” Nanami adds, tracing the outline of your lips, glossy with spit, stretched around his shaft. “Do you suck his cock as good as you suck mine?” 
You nod, swallowing your gag reflex as the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat with each solid thrust of his hips. Your second orgasm approaches quickly, your pussy clenching Ino’s cock, though you can’t say anything while gobbling up Nanami’s cock, so you let it be, continuing to be spit-roasted over the desk, thirsty for their cum.  
“Fuck, I’m going to come soon,” Ino says, slowing his pace. “I’ve never…I’ve never come inside her before.”
Nanami, still relishing his blow job, asks, “Why not?”
“Too scared to get her pregnant,” he admits. It’s true; Ino always pulls out, even when you beg him to finish inside you. You appreciate that about him, but in this moment, you want nothing more than his cream pie filling you up. 
“Is she on birth control?”
“Y-Yeah.”
Once again, as if psychic, Nanami responds, “Then I’m sure she wouldn’t mind getting your load just this once. Right, sweetheart?”
Your words are muffled. Nanami pulls out, cock wet with your spit, stroking it in his fist. “What was that, princess?”
“I said yes! Give it to me, Ino!” you whine, shaking around him. 
“Fuck, are you sure, baby? You sure you want it?”
“Give it to me. Want you to breed me,” you blurt out. 
“That’s it, that’s a good girl,” Nanami coos, slapping the head of his cock on your tongue. “How about here? You want it here too?”
You glance at Ino, who’s watching. He nods, licking his lips. “Yes. Want your cum inside me, senpai,” you reply. 
He smirks, pushing himself back inside you, his length sliding on every inch of your tongue. “Good girl.”
It doesn’t take long for both men to come, Ino shooting his seed deep into your womb, stuffing you full, Nanami spurting ribbons into your mouth, guzzling down each drop. They pull out slowly, cocks sensitive now from the stimulation. You roll over onto your back, catching your breath, looking up at them with a satisfied smile on your face. 
Nanami cups your cheek in his hand, thumb brushing delicately against your skin. “Such a messy girl. I think she needs a few more lessons. What do you think, Ino?”
Your boyfriend’s eyes are blown wide, staring at the lewd sight before him, your pussy leaking with his cum, your mouth drooling with Nanami’s. “Yeah. Definitely needs more, senpai.”
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puripurin · 3 months
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— "What the fuck." You started at the merman who wriggled around for space. His eyes looked at you in fear as he saw you, before a blush had spread across his face.
Up until 30 seconds ago, you had lived a normal life, well, except for the obscene amount of work you were stressed out with. So you hopped on the boat your parents had gifted you some years ago and sailed into the sea. The feel of the ocean breeze hitting your face was a familiar sensation to you.
This was because your parents were fishermen and loved to eat seafood, and naturally, you had gravitated towards seafood, but with prices these days and your never-ending workload, it didn't allow you to do anything without setting you back on your tight deadlines. Until today.
You had gotten a whole week of paid vacation because a coworker was threatening to bring them to court for a long list of harassment. So they gave the people who worked the most a one week paid vacation. Though, to her, it wasn't enough, so you're getting a paid vacation week while they are still going to get sued. Whatever, its their fault either way.
Anyways, how did you reel in a merman that shouldn't even exist? Frankly, you don't know either. You had accidentally started to daydream, which turned into you not realizing something was caught, so instinctively, you were able to reel in a merman.
"H-huuuumann?" His deep moss green eyes stared at up at you with interest whilst you nearly got blinded by the shimmering gleem of his scales that were scattered across his cheeks. He stopped his advancements towards you until it was difficult to hold up his neck to see you.
"Erm... sorry for catching you, I was daydreaming. I'll unhook the fish hook attached to you..." You apologized and went down to unhook him, only for him to pull down your pants and underwear down, making you fall on the bench below you and stuffing his face in your genitals.
"Hey! W-what are you doing?" You pushed his face away, to which he pouted to. He sat there for a while as you tried to push him off the boat, to no avail.
"I... Accceppt thhis marrriaage!" He excitedly said as he tugged on your pants to gently pull it off again, but you held on tightly to your pants.
"What marriage? I didn't propose to you?" You evaded from his pulling hands in confusion.
"Whennn youuu reeeeledd mmeee inn dummmyy!" He slurred his words once more. "Shtop! I waant too tasstte you firrst beeforrre you tassteeee mee!" He huffed before his nails turned into sharp claws that shreaded your pants, then pulled down your underwear again and happily stuffing his face and licking your crotch with his tongue that felt rough.
Once more, you tried to move away but only ended up moaning at the feeling. Your face was slightly hot as you looked away but was swiftly pulled back in for a kiss, tasting your own fluids.
"Ah... finally... now it's your turn, cutie pie. We have to go to my hometown to get married <3"
"WHAT!?!? Firstly, no! Secondly, i will drown!"
"... Who said you can say no? When you reeled me, it was akin to a marriage proposal. Also, that's why you suck my dick and kiss me <333"
"WHAT--"
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Was supposed to be posted yesterday, but when i saved a portion of it, i didn't see that i was save so i went back in to edit it to see what's rong before i saved it and for a slpilt second i saw the rest of it before it saved, so i lost majority of my work.
So now it looks like tjis. Womp womp. I think tjis is an afab reader? But i tried to make it gn as possible but i wannted a weird ass mermaid culture where to speak another's language, you gotta eat them out/suck them off before kissing person to speak. At first i wanted him to just kiss in order to get the language js like starfire but i was like,, so what do i do with him tryna eat you out??,, then boom yeahh.
Also, yo quero voy en me casaaaaaa *cries pathetically* No me gusta Español :((((((( not proofread. L
Edit: i forgot about tags. Mb.
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zhongrin · 8 months
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“honey, can you… put it in my mouth?”
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◇ characters ◇ zhongli, al haitham, kaveh, pantalone, ayato
◇ tags ◇ minors dni, gn!reader, very suggestive but nothing explicit believe it or not, oral fixation (reader), implied spanking (pantalone)
◇ a/n ◇ ough i finally have the energy to edit this..... why do i feel so tired from just editing send help i need kithes ;w;
𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡
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zhongli looks up at you in confusion, before looking at what he is holding. surely you didn’t mean you want to have these bitter coffee grounds in your mouth? he smiles kindly at you and resumes tamping the coffee grounds, the veins on the back of his palms prominent as ever ever against his blackened skin, before locking the portafilter onto the machine and placing two espresso glasses under it.
“dear, as much as you need your coffee, i think we need to process this specific ingredient first before you can fully enjoy the beverage-”
he blinks slowly at you, the hum of the espresso machine the only noise for a moment following your clarification… until the corners of his lips turn upwards in a little smirk, and he chuckles onto his bare fist, the geo lines shining brightly with mirth before reaching out to trace your lips.
“sometimes i wonder if i've spoiled you too much… very well, perhaps after your coffee, you can have a… not-so-little treat. or should i say, treats.”
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al haitham’s answer is, as per usual, logical and straightforward.
“absolutely not. this is one of my most prized limited collection books. that would be unhygienic, both for you and the book itself.”
his verdant green eyes lined with orange-hued lines switch focus onto your expression, narrowing upon seeing no remorse in your face. he’s about ready to scold you more when the next words leave your lips, and for a moment he’s distracted by how delectable they look as they spill sinful words and pronounce your chosen nickname for him.
“… you could have clarified that sooner,” he says, still in that monotonous tone, though you can see how his gaze burns hotter now and the visible excitement starting to make itself known. one of his gloved hands beckons you closer and grabs onto your wrist to pull you onto his lap.
“well, what are you waiting for, then?” his book snaps shut and he smirks at you in anticipation, “go on. put it all in your mouth. well… as much as you can, that is.”
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kaveh beams and skilfully opens a lychee for you, ignoring the way the juices drip all over his slender fingers, and offers the sweet fruit to you immediately, urging you to taste the deliciousness. when you merely stare at him in amusement, your boyfriend tilts his head, his smile unfaltering as he pushes the fruit nearer to your lips.
“they’re really sweet! if you like it, i’ll feed you more!”
the architect’s grin widens when you take the fruit between your lips, although he blushes at the way your tongue brushes onto the calloused skin of his fingers. he tries to tell himself that it was just a coincidence, but five more lychees later, he’s convinced that you had to have done this on purpose. and when you tell him you’re full and you want something else in between those sweet lips of yours… well, he’s already a people pleaser by nature anyway - and there’s no one he wants to please most other than you.
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pantalone’s gloved fingers fix his glasses before motioning for you to follow him a little down the hallway toward the adjacent room. moments after the door slams close behind you, he signals you to kneel - and the condescending chuckle when you obey like a trained dog in front of him makes your cheeks burn in embarrassment.
he folds his arms in front of his chest, smiling down at you, “i’m going to need you to explain further what you meant by that vague statement, dear.”
the more you stumble over your words, the wider your master’s smirk grows. golden eyes peer down at you in half amusement and half anticipation. he shakes his head when you finish, his next words cooing and belittling as if he’s scolding a misbehaving child, “oh my, darling, how can those lovely lips spew such filthy words?”
the seemingly condescending words are followed by a hum, though you sense no underlying malice or sarcasm in his tone. no, this was him playing with you - if anything, he seems to be amused at your words. you love being bratty and he loves disciplining you, after all. this is just right up his alley.
“i think you need more disciplining before i can grant your wish. now turn around and get on all fours. remember to start counting.”
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ayato’s eyes seemed to curve in delight as soon as the words leave your pretty lips. an amused and condescending smile blooms on his lips, like a lotus greeting the morning air that is the breath of your ambiguous request. imaginary scenes fill his head, replacing the neat schedule he’s mentally set for the day today, each images filthier than the previous ones.
your beloved toys with you for a while, however. stalls with a series of teasings and seemingly innocent touches on your chin and cheeks and lips - so close yet so far from where you want him most. he chuckles when you whine and plead,
“perhaps we should find a way to constantly satisfy that greedy mouth of yours. how does keeping me company while i work sound? i’ll make sure to get the most comfortable pillows for you to sit on, under my desk.”
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© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!
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◇ taglist ◇ @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @nachotrash | @algrimmammon | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @pvbbyb0y | @shipperxchaos | @crystalflygeo | @n3r0-1417 | @ciexuvia | @illaasya | @justawalkingdisaster | @celestewritestoomuch
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belokhvostikova · 11 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | An apology is definitely at hand, and Eddie cements it when he drunkenly appears at your house despite your clear disdain.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, yelling, crying, descriptions of depression, self-deprecating thoughts, alcohol consumption, driving while intoxicated, mentions of neglectful parents, mentions of childhood abuse, mentions of domestic abuse, brief allusions to eating disorders, and brief mentions of predatory behavior.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | So sorry for the confusion, I was simply updating the color scheme of this chapter when an error was found in my tag list, which I had to edit. I had to remove the tag list, but everyone who was already in the list or asked to be will still continue to be tagged as new chapters are released.
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 | One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭
You stayed in your bedroom. Not studying. Not reading. Not eating. Barely even moving. The concavity of teals and pastels with trinkets and knick-knacks that constituted the room you found solace in for the last twelve years of your life had swallowed you whole. The bookcase. The vanity. The dying plants begging for life in a personified reflection to your state. Your knees. Your fingers. Your sullen face in the smudged mirror. You listened to the sounds around you. The cars. The birds. The buzzing bees of the blistering spring. So lively, not you. Your father, the whirring indication of the coffee machine that kept him alive, the clearing of his throat, and the crinkle of his newspaper, as if he didn’t proclaim the nastiest words of failure and disappointment against the child he fathered neglectfully. But you had everything—food, a roof, money—who were you to complain, right? Your bladder is full, it hurts, yet you don’t dare to move. You suck in a breath, forgetting to do so innately. Everything has become manual. Your breathing, your thinking, your will.
You’re eighteen, a senior in high school, and you want to go to college. Which one? The farthest one. You’re merely a girl, a teenage girl, a teenage girl deemed a slut because you were nice to a boy. Nothing more, nothing less. Until the next day, where you would be deduced to a whore, because that was the inevitable step for a teenage girl who was nice to a boy. And that’s all you think of. All you repeat. Because you don’t want to remember more. You just want to wait. For what? You don’t know. So you think, you sit, and you wait. Just waiting until there’s nothing more to wait for.
Maybe when you learn to let go, you’ll finally be free. 
-
Perhaps it was the jocular facet of Wayne Munson’s personality that humored the struggling reality of his life, or maybe it was as superficial as he liked to quip an occasional joke here or there, either way, the same teasing line declaring his rambunctious nephew to be the cause of his exceeding aging—the one that always got a good chuckle out of his buddies while sharing a beer or a shy giggle from the tired waitress who worked the overnight shift just to serve him his coffee in the early hours of the morning—was vastly proving to be a coping mechanism, because Wayne Munson swore he could feel a new wrinkle brandishing his forehead as his nephew was on the verge of getting suspended… and failing… and arrested. 
Eddie Munson truly did age the poor man into oblivion. 
“…Twenty-two tardies, fourteen absences, thirteen detentions…”
Wayne briefly freed the indented grays of his head from one of his many beloved trucker hats before securing it back on. His calloused fingers splayed against his stressed eyebrows at an attempt to alleviate the impending pain with a heavy sigh. It was midday. He should be resting for his coming shift at the plant. But here he was, having a parent meeting with the principal for his twenty-year-old boy.
“…Persistent insubordination, frequent public outbursts, and repeated offense of inappropriate comments made against staff…”
That one made Eddie giggle. Oh, Mrs. O’Donell.
“Okay, okay,” Wayne politely interjected with a tight-lipped smile, “I think I get the picture here.”
Principal Higgins scoffed incredulously, as he dropped the particularly heavy file of Eddie’s extensive high school record. “Respectfully, I don’t think you do, sir.” Eddie rolled his eyes, as he apathetically slumped in the chair. “Your nephew has been tormenting the sanctity of my establishment for six years, six years, sir, and he’s in for a seventh after assaulting a fellow student on school grounds!”
“Oh, please, Carver deserved it-”
“Ed.” Wayne gritted with sternness. 
“Mr. Munson, I specifically warned you of the potential consequences of another detention or suspension, and you went ahead and disobeyed my word! Now, charges are being threatened! This is monstrous! Vile, even! Blasphemous-”
“I told you, that jockstrap deserved it!” Eddie sat up to defend his stance, blatantly ignoring his uncle's plea to calm down. “Why aren’t you getting him in trouble, huh?! He’s the one that started all this shit! Going around and spreading lies about Y/N!”
And maybe this is when Eddie should have shut up, because the way Principal Higgins eyes bulged at the revelation honestly kinda freaked Eddie out a bit. 
“Ms. Y/L/N?!” Higgins spit odiously. “This is about Ms. Y/L/N?!”
Wayne blinked between both men. “Who’s Y/N Y/L/N?”
The poor man’s presence had long been disregarded. Once again, this had been extrapolated into a battle between Higgins and Munson, a long six year war that seemed to have no ending. And you, well, you fell victim in the crossfire, left unaided, to die, vulnerable to the vultures of Hawkins High that got to pick you apart free of consequences. Because that was human nature for a small town that capitalized the American Dream with infiltrations of conservatism and conformity for the need to prioritize normalcy. And Eddie Munson was not normal, therefore you were not normal. Because you took his fucking picture. 
“In my years of administration, I have never, and I mean never, have had this much havoc from two students!” It became quite astounding how much a single vein could protrude from a reddening forehead of a forty-seven-year-old man. 
“This isn’t her fault!” Eddie burdened to emphasize. “Why are you always blaming her?! You used to love parading her achievements around as if they were yours, and now that she’s friends with me,” you weren’t friends with him, “you suddenly got your little feelings hurt?! You’re unbelievable!” Eddie sneered with a heavy breath and condescending laugh. 
Now, Higgins had been far too familiar with Eddie’s bite, but the abrupt revelation had the man searching for words that would excuse his exaggerating behavior. “I-I, uh, well, I… t-this- this isn’t about Ms. Y/L/N, this is about you, Mr. Munson, and what you did!”
Wayne had reached his wits end, “Alright, alr-”
“What? Rightfully put Carver in his place? Yeah, I did-”
“Alright.” Wayne’s jaw was heavy with tension as a stern scrape of his teeth was gritted to end the commotion. “Look, I truly do not have the time to be doin’ this, so we’re gonna run this quickly.” He sighed with a hand massaging his stubble. “I’ll have Ed apologize.”
Eddie made his annoyance evident with a loud groan and scoff, as he waved his uncle off. 
“But,” Wayne interjected, knowing his nephew would spew out more words that would worsen his consequence, “you said it yourself, sir, that Ed’s been “disrupting” your school for a couple years now, so I don’t think another repeated year would do anyone any good. Right?”
“I- I… well, I, uh, I suppose so…” Higgins mumbled. 
“Perfect.” Wayne perched out of his chair with a groan from his aching back. “I think a… sincere, heartfelt apology will teach my boy a valuable lesson here.” He patted Eddie on the shoulder before yanking on his denim vest to pull him from his seat. “So, no detention, no suspension, that way Ed will get to graduate, he’ll be out of your hair, and all’s good in life.”
“I, well, I think we’re being a little too lenient-”
Wayne shoved his working hand in front of Higgins. “I appreciate your understanding, and I’m glad we were able to come to a consensus.” Dumbfoundedly, Higgins shook the man’s hand trying to process everything. “Now, I’ll get in touch with the other boy’s parents, hopefully talk them out of charges, and Ed and I will have a long talk as to why we shouldn’t hit people. Right, Ed?”
“U-um, uh, yeah- yes, sir, I’m so sorry.” Eddie nodded, faux guilt casting his face, as he pressed his lips in and threw his round eyes of disappointment to the ground. 
“Well, then” Wayne sighed, “I better get going, sleep’s not gonna catch itself.”
“Mr. Munson, uh, sir-”
“Again, thank you for understanding.” Wayne shoved Eddie past the office door, before sending a polite wave to Higgins, left speechless and open-mouthed, yet no protest could be formulated, as the Munson men were out quick with a slam to the door.
Upon reaching the empty halls of the school, Wayne wondered how ethical it would be to lean against the cold, metal lockers and light a cigarette, because he had no willpower to wait until he was outside. Wayne Munson loved Eddie, he truly did. It may not have been affectionately shown for the majority of his guardianship, but it was there; through every cracked joke, every greasy late-night dinner shared, and every moment when he would miss work, because Eddie always waited last minute to finish the algebra homework that he knew he struggled with, and Wayne was there to help. 
But parenthood, itself, was a troubling journey, and when abruptly placed onto a man who had no desire to ever have kids of his own, it became devastatingly unfathomable. It became worse when the kid in question knew nothing but abuse, no hugs no kisses, simply fists and swears to condition his mind with the wrongful notions as to how to express his emotions. It was grueling. 
Wayne cleared his throat. “Ed.”
“I know, I know,” Eddie was quick to explain, “but I swear, it really wasn’t my fault.” His eyes pleaded to avoid the wave of disappointment he knew he brought to everyone in Hawkins. 
“Boy, if this Carver kid and that girl, Y/N, are giving you trouble-”
“No, no, she’s not!” Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat, and huffed. “I-I mean, he is, yeah, but it’s nothing I’m not used to, so it doesn’t matter. But her, she, uh, she didn’t- I, fuck, look this is all stupid! He’s stupid, she’s stupid- I, no, she’s not stupid-”
“Eddie.” Wayne was seeing the younger boy Eddie had once been. Struggling with emotions, struggling with words, unable to process and formulate because he was scared. 
“She fucking hates me, alright!” Eddie heaved. “All of this is stupid, and it doesn’t matter, because she fucking hates me! And I can’t even blame her, because I’m an awful fucking person!”
“You’re not awful-”
“I am!’ Eddie sighed to catch his breath. “C’mon, Wayne, you know I am. I nearly fucking failed for the third time in a row, because I have no self-control and apparently no fucking emotional intelligence, and now I may end up getting arrested in the middle of the fucking school day. And she fucking hates me, Wayne, she hates me!”
The quietness of the hall became deafening after Eddie’s tangent. He knew his uncle didn’t understand half of what he just uttered, but it sure as hell felt good getting it off his chest. And by now, a cigarette was looking real good to the older gentleman. 
“I- shit, I’m sorry, just forget all of that.” Eddie groaned, a tense hand running through his tangled hair.
“No, no,” Wayne shook his head, “say what you need to say. It’ll do you some good.”
Eddie suspired. “Look, Jason was saying some really gross shit about Y/N that wasn’t true, and the only reason why they said all that shit was because she added me- uh, Hellfire to the yearbook.” Wayne raised an eyebrow. “I know, don’t give me that look, like I said, this is all fucking stupid. Anyways, I felt bad, he was literally causing a scene in the middle of lunch, and well, I punched him-”
“Well, see, you’re not an awful person.” Wayne pointed. 
“You didn’t let me finish.” Eddie, now highlighted with genuine guilt, casted down to the floor. “When she first took our picture, I kinda yelled at her, because I thought she was just being some two-faced cheerleader, which she wasn’t, but, uh, after the whole cafeteria scene, well, she told me to just leave her alone, and um, I got defensive and called her… a sl- look, I just really fucked up, alright.”
Wayne puffed out a big breath of air. “Okay.” He really didn’t remember high school being this cursory, granted it was over thirty years ago for him. “Uh, well, did you at least apologize to her?” He truly didn’t know how else to approach this problem. 
“Well, no, she got suspended yesterday because of the whole yearbook thing. Highly doubt I’ll get a chance.”
“Well, make a chance.” Wayne waved off simply.
“What?”
“You care that much about what she thinks of you, make the chance happen. Don’t just sit around, do something. And if you really don’t care, then just let it go and focus on graduating and not getting in trouble.” Wayne pulled out his pack of Camels. “Either way, I need sleep and you need to get to class.”
“It’s lunch time.”
“Then eat.” Wayne sighed, as he began walking away. “Just stay out of trouble, because there’s only so many free car repairs I’m willing to offer in order to keep your ass out of jail, boy.”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry.”
-
“I can’t believe this! I totally don’t look like this!” Dustin shrieked. “This is a terrible angle! And I specifically told the guy to get my good side!”
Mike laughed with a mouth full of greasy pizza. “You look like the orcs from our campaign.”
“Who looks like the orcs from our campaign?” Eddie announced his arrival, as he took a seat at the head of the table. 
“Dustin!” Gareth guffawed. 
“But, hey, if you really wanna feel better, take a look at Stanley Godwin who literally sneezed in the middle of his picture.” Jeff stole the yearbook from Dustin’s grabby hands. “Poor kid and his sinuses.”
But before Jeff could thumb through to find the sneezing sophomore, Eddie had forcefully yanked the brand new book from his friend. “Where the hell did you get this?!”
“I bought it.” Dustin answered. “The Yearbook Committee is already selling them. But, if you want my advice, don’t bother asking Nancy for a family discount.”
“You’re not family.” Mike sneered with a playful shove.
And in true Dustin Henderson fashion, the boy audibly gasped. “Have the last ten years meant nothing to you?”
“Is our picture still in here?” Eddie interrupted. 
“Yup!” Gareth smirked. “Front and center.”
Eddie flipped through the extracurriculars, filtering through the numerous clubs before his eyes bestowed upon their photo. There they were. All of them. Their faces and names representing the Hellfire title. 
“Hey, how’d the meeting with Higgins go?” Jeff snapped Eddie’s attention. “Your uncle dish one out to ya?”
“Uh, no, actually.” Eddie signed. “Got let off the hook.”
“Wait, Higgins isn’t suspending you?” Mike questioned, and Eddie merely shook his head in confirmation. 
“Wow, you’d think punching his precious star athlete would get you expelled.” Dustin laughed. “I mean, even Y/N got suspended for something less. Wish she was here, so I could thank her for the photo.” 
Your name had sparked something within Eddie. He quickly turned the pages to reach the senior class of 1986, and flipped until he found your face. Your fucking beautiful face. So pretty and proper, dressed in your best clothing, pearls shining around your neck, eyes glinting with perfection. You were perfect. Perfect. Down to the last minute detail. Your teeth, your lips, your skin.
Make a chance.
Eddie tore the page with much fervor in mind. 
“Hey, what the hell?!” Dustin whined. “That cost me forty-five bucks!”
“Sorry, kid.” Eddie muttered, as he stood from his chair, stuffing the torn page into the leather pocket of his worn jacket. 
“Where are you going?” Jeff catechized. “We’re in the middle of lunch.”
“To find Chrissy Cunningham.”
-
Chrissy Cunningham was a lot harder to find than Eddie had expected. She had been in the same lunch period with him for the entirety of the semester, but the one instance he actually needed to speak to her, she wasn’t sitting with the gaggle of cheerleaders and jocks that claimed the best seats in the lunchroom. The girls’ bathroom had been his best option, now he obviously didn’t enter, but after he begrudgingly called out her name through the doorway, he felt like a creep and left rather quickly. The gym was his backup, but after peering through the small windows of the double doors, all he saw was Coach Monaghan loudly instructing scrawny freshmen through enervating suicide drills for the sake of physical education. And the health room was no luck, as the guidance counselor was enforcing teaching the importance of abstinence to a group of girls—only girls—for the sake of sexual education. More like purity culture. Eddie was running out of luck. His watch indicated the mere five minutes he had left before he’d be obligated to endure Mrs. O’Donell. But, by the grace of whatever god may or may not be out there, Eddie caught sight of the strawberry blonde sitting alone upon the writhing wood of an old picnic table just outside of the cafeteria. He walked all around, just for her to be a couple yards from where he originally was. Sometimes Eddie could only scoff at himself. 
Appearing to be caught up in her own world, Eddie’s heavy footsteps went unnoticed, until he materialized into her peripheral, a startled shriek making him surrender with hands up in the air. 
“Woah, hey, sorry.” He raucously chuckled, looking around to make sure no one could fabricate some false story of harassment against a cheerleader. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
But his words brought no ease to her- clearly, it was just yesterday she was cleaning up her boyfriend’s lip, because of Eddie. “I, uh, I- well, if it’s alright with you, I, um, liked to talk- well, ask you for something.” He softly assured, as she eyed him timidly. 
“Um, a-about what?” Her voice could barely be picked up by the breeze of the afternoon. 
Eddie took it as an invitation to sit down across from her with a tight-lipped smile. It was awkward. He took notice of her uneaten lunch, merely picked apart but not savored—well, as savored as school lunch could be. “So, uh, what brings you out here?” Perhaps an attempt at conversation with someone he never even spoke to was too bad of an idea, but he simply chose the politeness path, as he ask was pretty hefty. “Finally got tired of Jessica’s big mouth?” He laughed.
Chrissy didn’t. Jessica had made a comment, one that sounded too much like her mother’s own words. 
So when Chrissy sadly shrugged, he dropped the small talk and diverted the conversation. 
“Okay, look, I’m just gonna be up front.” Eddie sighed. “I need you to give me Y/N’s phone number and address.”
Her thinly groomed eyebrows creased her forehead in confusion. “Um, what?”
“Look, it’s a simple ask, alright, I just need her phone number and address.”
“No, I hear you, Eddie, I just- well, I just don’t know if she would want me to-”
“No, and I understand that, I just really need to talk to her.” Eddie pleaded. “And obviously I can’t do that at school.” Chrissy stayed quiet with contemplation. “C’mon, you guys are friends- or were friends, right? I really just want to make it up to her after all the bullshit she’s been through. Us being partially at fault because of it, y’know.”
Chrissy’s guilty round eyes met his. “I just don’t want her to hate me more.” she whispered. 
Eddie’s mouth fell slightly agape, not knowing how to comfort. See, lying and saying all was good and merry between you and Chrissy in order to get what he wanted would have been his first solution—the asshole way of thinking. But being that Eddie being an asshole was the start of all your misery in the first place, he fought the urge to choose the easy way out and rubbed his face with agony. 
“Yeah, no, I, uh, get it.” He huffed. “And if it’s any consolation, she fucking hates me, too. Probably more than she hates you.” He smiled. And luckily, a sadden smile curled her lips, which was a start. “And I mean, rightfully so, we were jackasses to her.” He laughed.
“I should have stuck up for her.” Chrissy sighed. “She always has for me. I mean, she’s been my best friend for four years. But Jason, he just gets so far into this idea of what people will say and think, and he doesn’t want me or him hurting from others' judgment.”
“So you judged her instead?” He couldn’t really be one to speak on the morals of virtue, as he judged, too.
“I know, it’s so stupid.” She dropped her head into her palms with shame. “And I’m not trying to excuse it, I just want her to know I’m so sorry, but I haven’t had the courage to tell her.” She groaned. “Plus, her dad is really strict and really hard on her to be so successful, that I doubt he’ll want me over after she got suspended.”
Chrissy drowned with dejection. Four years of the purest bond between young girls had been cemented into a cascade of hateful rumors and a lack of clear discernment that severed their loving connection that persevered them through the pinnacle of teenage years. As naive fourteen-year-olds, you both had stolen the locked up booze from your father’s office, and cheered one another on as you took a sip, to ensure you both appeared to know what you were doing when you arrived to Bradly Leminski’s party. Turns out, you both had accidentally drank too much in the comfort of your bedroom and missed out. You’d even watched giddily, as Jason Carver asked Chrissy out, after you ran him through the basis of what she loves, because he was determined to get her on a date. But through the woes of boys and high school parties, you’d both been there for one another through the deepest of tribulations, like when Chrissy called you bawling, because her mother’s words manipulated the way she saw herself in the beautiful dress she’d been so excited to wear for the winter formal. Or when she held you tightly after saving you from the harsh grasp of a senior, Jimmy Saunters, who forcefully shoved multiple shots of tequila down your throat, and attempted to drag you into his friend’s bedroom when you were merely a baby freshman. 
Her comfort had saved you, just as yours did to her.
“Well, I mean, you can’t just not try.” Eddie reasoned. “Look, I fucking hate that she hates me, and I want to at least try to apologize to her, too, which is why I at least need her number and address, please. I’m sure she’d love to hear from you, too, whenever you get the chance.”
The school bell that Eddie had been all too familiar with screeched for the coming of class, and he jumped in hurry. “C’mon, Chrissy, please, you gotta help me out here.” The desperation became palpable. Chrissy turned and watched numerous students flood into the halls through the glass doors of the building. Caving in quickly, she rummaged through her backpack for a pink pen she’d nearly worn through after the excessive notes from her third period. But she simply grabbed Eddie’s jacket sleeve, and utilized the back of his veiny hand as a canvas for her information. 
He’d ache his neck with a contorted twist of his head to watch the fading ink print what he wanted. A seven digit number lined the back of his hands, a small smile consuming his face, but then Chrissy started capping her pen away. “W-wait, uh, her address, too.”
“Um…”
“Please, I swear, if she asks, I won’t say it was you.” Eddie rushed.
Chrissy sighed, before quickly scribbling the number and street name of your home. Eddie cursed under his breath. “Christ, Pinecrest Acres? I got hired to mow some dude’s lawn in that neighborhood one summer, and some prick called the cops on me for trespassing.” He scoffed, and poor Chrissy didn’t know how to respond at the irrelevance of his news besides with an awkward chuckle. “But, anyways, thank you. I’ll, uh, leave you to it.” Eddie saluted, as he headed towards the door.
But then he abruptly turned. “Wait! Uh, tell your boyfriend I’m sorry for the, uh, whole, y’know…” And Eddie laughed, as he mimicked the shocking punch that loosened Jason Carver’s front teeth. 
The entire reason why he hadn’t showed up to school that day. 
“Um, don’t you want to tell him yourself?” Chrissy sweetly proffered. “I’m sure it’ll mean more.”
Eddie could roll his eyes. It was Jason Carver. Nothing Eddie did could mean shit to him.
He winced with a hiss. “Yeah, see, I totally would,” no, he wouldn’t, “but since he’s not here, and you’re the next best thing, I trust that you’ll pass on the message for me.” He smiled so sickly, Chrissy couldn’t see the drenching lies of his words.
“Oh, okay.” She agreed. 
“Oh!” Eddie perked. “If Higgin’s asks, I totally did apologize to Carver, okay?” Well, maybe there was still a little asshole left in Eddie, but at least he wasn’t actively hurting anyone. Yet.
“Uh, o-okay.” She hesitantly smiled.
“Thanks, Chrissy.” He lifted his balled fist to bump with hers. It was telling of the fact that Eddie Munson had little interactions with girls his own age- or any girls for that matter. But she hesitantly bumped him back, nonetheless. “Y’know, you’re a really cool person, you should get better friends.” He affirmed, before waving a goodbye.
“Th-thanks.” She meekly watched him enter the school building. 
While uncomfortable at first, the overall start of the budding friendship between Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie Munson was one to look forward to. While they evidently had nothing in common, it was quite comical actually, they could find reassurance in one another that improvements needed to be made within themselves in order to speak to the one person they both genuinely cared for. You. They at least had that in common. And luckily for Eddie, in six hours, Chrissy Cunningham would confide to Jason Carver to drop any potential charges, and he would listen, because he loved her. 
-
“Fuck.” Eddie mumbled under his breath. He shook the nerves from his hands, and rolled his neck in preparation. “C’mon, you can do this.”
“So, uh,” Wayne snapped Eddie’s attention. His uncle was staring at him circumspectly, as he shrugged on his jacket, “you preparin’ for a marathon, or somethin’?”
“What?” Eddie blinked through his messy bangs. “No, I’m about to make a phone call.”
“Right.” Wayne cleared his throat, studying the newfound nervousness of his nephew’s demeanor, which he hadn’t seen in- well, ever. “Ima head out to work, see ya tomorrow morning.” It was clear Eddie was waiting for his uncle to leave, as Wayne caught sight of how quickly Eddie grabbed the handle of the phone as Wayne, himself, grabbed the doorknob. “Is this about that Y/N girl?”
Eddie’s shoulder’s dropped. “Shouldn’t you be heading off to work by now?”
“Alright, alright,” Wayne mumbled, “just askin’. Be sure to eat dinner.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“I mean it, Ed. Eat.” 
Eddie, in fact, did not eat. 
In order to not succumb to the nauseating feeling that was churning in the pit of his tummy, he came to the concurrence that a cold beer would extenuate the ferment that made his heart skip a beat every ten seconds. Now, in typical sense, Eddie had consumed enough beer in his lifetime, that a single one shouldn’t have affected him to the extent at which this one did. But see, Eddie didn’t listen to the wise words of Wayne Munson, and his gurgling, empty stomach rocked him to the edge of tipsiness far quicker than he was used to. 
And before he knew it, his cold fingertips were jamming the buttons to the sequence of Chrissy’s faded pink handwriting, and soon it began ringing- shit, the phone was ringing! Eddie began panicking in place, wavering between hanging up and bringing the phone back to his ear. He hadn’t even planned out what he would say to you. Well, he technically did, it was all that he could think about for the entire day, but each idea seemed unworthy to the standards you deserved, so he’d move on to the next thought, but then suddenly every thought was determined unfit by Eddie. Should he apologize? Fuck, of course, he should apologize, but for what first? Calling you a miserable bitch? An attention-seeking slut? Making a scene in the cafeteria? Yelling in your face? Making you cry? Jesus Christ, thinking it out loud, why on Earth would you ever accept his apology?! He should just hang up before it’s too late-
“Hello?”
Eddie Munson’s knees buckled.
He carelessly gripped the edge of his wooden table, and slowly steadied himself into the chair below. He should speak, but no words were coming out. His knuckle flew into his mouth, where his teeth brandished the tender skin with harsh indents. It was painful, but he couldn’t stop. 
You spoke so featherly soft, too delicate for his usual orotund tone. The one he’d use to berate you. “Um, hello?”
“H-Hi…” He pierced out, immediately cringing at the sudden loudness he uncontrollably spoke in. “It’s, uh- well, it’s me, um… Eddie.”
It was dead quiet for what felt like an eternity. 
No word, no squeak, no air. You were obviously holding your breath, and the mere thought was tearing at Eddie’s heart. “Please.” It came out so weak. “Please, Eddie, I don’t wanna start anything.” 
His stomach dropped, and his hands shook with how scared you sounded. You were scared of him. In the couple of instances he interacted with you, he scared you. Because to you, he brought harm. It may not have been physical, but it was detrimental, nonetheless. And you were scared. He was becoming the sole person he did not want to become, because he knew what it was like to be scared. 
“No, no, sweetheart,” he let out a shaky sigh, “I’m not gonna do anything. I promise.” He wanted to profusely vomit. It was the same words his dad had uttered to his bruised mom in order to sweet talk her out of leaving.
“I told you to leave me alone, Eddie.” You choked quietly. It was dinner. Your father was downstairs enjoying his takeout. Not yours. He stopped caring to ask the minute you refused to leave your bedroom. “I don’t even care how you got my number, but I need you to not call-”
“No, I know, sweetheart, but I really just need to talk to you.” His knuckles were casting white upon the tight grip he clutched the phone, as his lips brushed the bottom speaker in whispers. His other hand began insistently picking at the old wood of the kitchen table. Wayne would have a word with him about that. “I- what I did, I really need to tell that I’m sorry, because I truly am sor-”
“Eddie,” You gently interrupted, no energy to scream at him like your mind was begging you to do, “I don’t want your apology.” You sniffled. “If it really meant that much to you, you would have never done it to begin with, because I- I would have never done this to you. I would have never done this to you.”
His eyes clenched shut to mitigate the profound stinging of his eyes from the welling of tears his heart was urging to spill for you. He knew the probability of you accepting his apology was low, but his mother always seemed to accept his father’s after he sweet talked his way out of a domestic abuse charge. This is what was supposed to happen, right? You should be loving his words and running to forgive him, right? It was what he saw. It was what he experienced. It was what he was conditioned to believe. But you weren’t his mother. And he’d desperately do anything to not be his father. Yet everyday, the image in the mirror was sneering back that sickening smile that destroyed Eddie’s childhood. So you weren’t going to run in his arms. You were going to stand your ground, just like he wished his mother had done to his father. 
“Please, sweetheart.” A gritted through his tense jaw, as a tear stained his reddening cheek. “Please.”
“I don’t want anything to do with you, Eddie.” There was no admonish to your words, in fact, you were so demure, holding back tears of your own, because he knew the ugly truth that you were well aware of the fact that if you screamed, he’d scream. And you’d, once again, be scared. “Just let me be, please. I don’t want you near me.”
The buzzing of the cutting line shot his bullet in his heart.
Your voice was gone, and yet, the phone stayed glued to his ear in hopes that he was just imagining it all. You didn’t hang up. You were still on the line. You would take back your words. You would accept his apology. But your euphonious voice never appeared again, and Eddie aggressively slammed the phone back on the hook with a grunt of frustration. The heel of his palms stabbed into his weeping eyes, as his shoulders assertively shook with every choke of his tightening breath. Rejection, heartache, vexation, and patheticism rampaged his mind from any calamity, and before he knew it, the characteristics he so badly hated about himself were being proffered up to the surface of his being. 
In truth, this was the scary aspect of Eddie Munson that resembled the harm he was verbally and physically ingrained with as a tragic child who knew of no hope. All rationale was gone, and wrongful devotion rooted in his deepest fear of being neglected with disregard had overtook his judgment. Standing with all fury, his finger’s strained through the excessive flexing of joints before his balled fist broke through the drywall of his trailer. His knuckles split with blood, but it felt deserving to him. Who was Eddie Munson without the infliction of pain? Absolutely nobody, he affirmed in his mind. He was meant to suffer. 
Chest heaving, beads of sweat pebbled his forehead, and the fridge door broke open. His truculent, battered hand grappled onto the torn yokes of the remaining three beers, hauling them, as his other hand reached for the keys to his van.
Eddie Munson was about to cause more harm. 
-
“Please, jus hol’ on f’me…” His drenched lips slurred with beer, as his hand crushed the empty can he haphazardly threw into the passenger seat, where his growing collection stacked. 
In the grand scheme of things, Eddie knew he was attesting to the predisposition of his role in this town, but he couldn’t help it. A lowlife, criminal, an irascible danger to society. Would you actually accept him? No, you wouldn’t. And he wouldn’t blame you. But he couldn’t stand the pre-conceived notion he’d confirmed about himself to you, and he was in desperation to speak to you. Unfortunately, Eddie had panicked, and this was happening in the ugliest, most horrifying and sinister state he’d ever been in. And you would see it all.
As lucky as one can be under the influence while driving, the cracked roads had fortunately been desolate, as nuclear families gathered around their pristine tables to lavish in the draining emotional labor of home cooked meals by their underappreciated wives. He rejected all red lights and street signs, stampeding through neighborhoods, drifting past turns, and steadily accelerating until he’d approached the spotlighted sign of Pinecrest Acres. The affluence—actually the beer and sharp curves—made his stomach turn in disgust. The aristocrats of Hawkins housed together, where they frolicked with no worries in the prolific assortment of two-stories, pool houses, parterres, and vintage cars, all while the struggling families of Forest Hills had to huddle with worn blankets to survive the blistering winters of Indiana. Ronald Reagan’s conservatism sure had an ascendancy on this place. He came to an abrupt stop after his headlights reflected the engraved 630 of your mailbox. “6… 3… 0 Pinecrest fucking Acres.” He mumbled.  
His tire ran over the curb of your street before he pulled the keys from the ignition. For a second, he stopped. His breathing was becoming suffocating, as his chest fervently raised with each depth of an inhale. His hand found the door handle faster than his mind could process, and soon he was stumbling on inebriated legs to the front lawn of your house. Honestly, if your dad had found him, he would have shot him, but the man had driven himself into bed after downing the entirety of his rum. 
Eddie’s eyes scaled the height of the house. “Fuck me.” Maybe he shouldn’t have chugged four beers. He cleared his throat. His joints echoed in a rhythmic sequence of pops, as he pressed and twisted his fingers to loosen up. A guttural groan escaped as his neck was next, snapping it left to right to ease out any crooks. His breaths stammered in unprecedented waverness, as his ears ached through the thudding sounds of his beating heart that seemed to be amplified in his mind. Jaw ticking. Hands shaking. Mouth dried. Body sweating. What the hell were you going to do when he’d shown up without your consent? In fact, you explicitly said to leave you alone. “Shit, shit, shit.” Eddie wanted to cry. Should he knock? No, your dad would call the cops. Would you call the cops? He sure as hell would if a drunk man harassed his yard. 
But then, his stomach sank to his ass. 
The one room that had been illuminated by the glowing overhead light had accentuated your silhouette. You. It was fucking you. In your room. Where you stayed, where you studied, where you slept, where you’d been crying and chose stoicism to numb the pain of everything around. But everything had happened quickly, and soon, you were gone with a sharp close of your curtains. 
Eddie’s legs began working without thought, and he’d swiftly aligned himself with the window to your room, tramping the trimmed garden of crumpled rose bushes beneath his dirty sneakers. Your house had been complemented by the standing trellis that had been wrapped by vines of delicate nature. If there was any sign of either moving forward or leaving, the intricate trimming of your house perfectly starting where your trellis ended meaning Eddie had leeway to make it to your window, meaning Eddie’s intoxicated mind saw it was a passage to see you. “Jus do it f’her, do it f’her…” Regrettably, the rational part of his brain had fallen under the influence, which was screaming at him to just leave you alone. 
As stealthy as a drunk man could, Eddie prayed the trellis could hold his weight, as he began scaling the flimsy wood against your wall. All he could think about was you. Every step was for you. Every splinter was for you. Every stumble was for you. Yet his clouded judgment could not process the fact that you didn’t want any of this. But the bottom of his shoe was already scuffing the white trimming of your house, and he was hoisting himself to stand upon the hipped edge roof. Crouched and begging his intoxication didn’t drop him from the second story, he quietly approached the dormer of your window. 
His fingertips gently caressed the glass with great scrutiny. It was now just dawning on him as to what he’s just done. The danger he’s put himself and others in. The disrespect he’s inflicted upon you. The hurt. The knock was soft, barely comprehensible. You had ignored it, there was always noise. You tightly cuddled a bundle of your duvet, sinking yourself into the wallow of your bed in hopes of willing yourself to a serious need of sleep. But the noise continued. More apparent. More concerning. 
You jolted at the clearest indication of a set of knocks cascading against your window. 
Your heart began racing beyond compare, as the noise followed just outside. It was night, no one should be coming to your house, let alone your window at 9:27 p.m. And the one man you should have had full reliance on was currently passed out in his locked bedroom, where you knew awakening him would lead to a revile of the burden you’d become in his life. He said it when you were nine, and he’d freely say it again if you gave him a headache from his usual hangover. 
But suddenly, the trembling of your body succumbed when you heard it. 
“H-hello…”
Blindsided by the simple greeting, you stumbled out of bed with stupefaction that he would actually show up. Eddie. You ran to your window, swinging the curtains open to reveal him. Round, reddened eyes oozing with plead, as his hand pressed against your window. His heart sank at the look of disgust that his face garnered from you. He hated it. He hates your disheveled hair, your bagging pajamas, your wobbling lip. He hates you. He hates how perfect you were. Why the fuck were you so fucking perfect? 
You made out the shaky “please” that left his mouth. 
Opening the window swiftly, the cold breeze of the night engulfed you, as he helped you lift. “What are you doing here?!” You were quick to spit with spite.
“I-I,” upon seeing you, his eyes had an instant reaction to start welling for the shit he was putting you through, because he knew what he was wreaking was pure havoc in the normalcy of your life, “I just really needed to t-talk to you.” He managed to choke out.
His hot breath hit you like a truck, proffering memories of what a humid house party smelt like. “Are you drunk right now?!” He could only shamefully nod with closed eyes. “And you drove here?!” Another disgrace to his character. “Are you insane?!”
“M’so sorry… M’so fucking sorry, please, I-I jus- I jus-”
“You could have hurt somebody, Eddie!” Though whispered, it carried all the beratement of your anger. “You could have killed yourself!”
“I know!” He wailed with guilt. “I jus- I feel like m’losing my mind, because I need to fucking fix what I did. What I did to you! M’so sorry.” Your hands caught your head in anguish. You hated him, every being in your body wanted to shout at him, and yet, your heart was tormenting at the state he was in. And you fucking hated that you couldn’t hate him how you wanted- how you deserved. “M’sorry, I-I can leave and I swear I won-” 
“You’re not fucking leaving like this, Eddie, you’re gonna get hurt.” You began tearing in frustration.
“Nonono, p-please don’t cry-”
He tried to reach out to you, but you slapped his comforting hands away, forcing him to lose his balance, before you had to steady him yourself. “You’re just saying that because you know you’re the cause.” You mumbled far too low for his drunk brain to process, while you held a tight grip around his wrist.
At an attempt to pull him in, his heavy, limp body contorted trying to bypass your window alcove, brandishing it with the streaks of his dirty shoes, and it took all your strength to stumble him onto your bed with a huff. Having him sit in place, you kneeled in front of him to get a good look at his face through the peering moonlight. He looked beyond exhausted, a testament to the agony of contrition he’s been eaten by for what he’s done to you. His eyes wholly swollen with irritation and tears that stained his flushed cheeks, as everything around him felt like it was burning hot. You couldn’t yell at him. At this state, ambushing him with an onslaught of curses and shouts would only project him into a disposition of vindication in order to protect himself. And that side of Eddie Munson was scary.
“Eddie,” you sighed, as his hanging head managed to meet your round eyes and quivering lips. “You cannot do this again. Do you hear me? You’re scaring me.” He vehemently shook his head, as his hands were quick to cover his face with shame to shield from the embarrassment he was consumed by. You pulled his arms away. “No, Eddie, I need you to say it; that you won’t do this to me again.”
“I-I… I won’t do this to you a-again- m’sorry. I won’t touch you, I promise, M’not my dad.” He sobbed. 
You sighed in defeat. “What- why would you even do this in the first place? What are you talking about?” You pleaded to understand, as tears constricted your eyes. 
There’s so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t know where to start. “I fucking need to fix what I did to you. I didn’t mean it, any of the shit I said to you. Being around is just so nice that I get afraid. I don’t want to lose you… a-as a friend, because- because nice things don’t happen to me, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost-” His breath had caught up to him, making him retch on nothing but tears and snot.
“Breathe, okay, Eddie, just breathe.” You quietly instructed, as he endeavored to follow suit. Your hands softly took hold of his, trying to ameliorate the violent shakes of his stiffening body, fingers delicately locking to find solace within his. And he held back so tightly. 
“Nobody- nobody’s ever cared like you have.” He whimpered. 
“So why treat me like this?” You mewled, sinking your teeth to discontinue the incoming sobs that stung your throat. 
“Because I don’t fucking deserve you-” You were quick to immediately shush him, as your father was merely a couple doors down. “Sorry, but I can’t fucking like you, Y/N.” He murmured through a quivering lip. His mind was spewing his feelings, the one he so badly wanted to ignore, but alas, his intoxicated state was regrettably telling all. “I can’t, it hurts too much. Knowing- knowing you don’t belong with me, I-I can’t fucking hold you, hug you, I c-can’t.”
“Eddie, you could have just talked to me.” You softly cried.
“No.” He looked so terrified. “I can’t fucking hear you ignore me. I-I know you don’t like me-”
“You don’t know that-”
“Fucking look at me, Y/N.” He bawled. “Look at what I’m doing to you. You don’t fucking deserve this. M’not a good person. I hurt you. I fucking hurt you.”
“I just wished you would have given me a chance, and talked to me, Eddie.” You squeezed his hands.
“No, I don’t want to burden you.” He cried with heavy breaths. “There’s things I wanna say to you- do with you, but I should just be letting you live free from me. No one cares about what I have to say, and you know it.” He begged for you to get it. “All that bullshit about communication doesn’t mean anything when it comes to me. No one wants to hear me. No one wants me.”
Your heart shattered at the revelation because it was beyond the definitions of truth. From childhood, Eddie Munson knew he was nothing if not a punching bag to his father, a therapist to his mother, an obligation to his uncle, and a burden to everyone. It became unwarrantedly embedded into a six-year-old boy and vandalized into his twenty-year-old self. He recognized it. Everyone affirmed it. 
You raked your hands from his hold, choosing to sit next to him on your bed, where your arms inundated him into a hug he had not received in years. The last close touch given to Eddie Munson left him weeping with a broken nose. He immediately fell into your embrace, shoving his head in the comfort of your neck, where his cries only amplified with the desperation of being touched lovingly. Your own tears had dampened his unruly head of hair, as you caved into him. His heavy arms constricted you tightly. 
At this moment, you were not scared of Eddie Munson. You’d seen his reasoning and you understood. Not excused, but understood. A lot of people had simply scared him first.
“I hear you, Eddie. I want to keep hearing you.”
-
“Eddie?” You whispered into his curls.
It’d been an hour of nonstop wails of distress, years of pent up emotions, and the realization that his being could be accepted. Even if it was just for tonight. His eyes had endured a rollercoaster of feelings, and they soon gave up on holding him awake. You didn’t move. He didn’t move. A tight hug that was necessary for both of you after heavy stoicism from neglect in your own unique ways. 
You caressed his head. “Eddie?”
He was out. You let out a shaky breath of relief. Carefully maneuvering his body, you gently laid his head onto your pillow, prying his strong arms from your waist where they refused to let go, bunching the fabric of your sweater. But you managed to escape his needy hold. Huffing lightly, you carried his legs onto your bed, deciding to let his shoes dirty your clean blankets. His arms had subconsciously gotten comfortable, splaying out against your mattress, where he fell into deep relaxation in comparison to the lumpy bed he’d succumb to back home. You took sight of the fading ink across his hand, your information decorating his alabaster skin with the all too familiar pink of Chrissy Cunningham’s pen. You wondered how the hell that conversation had gone down. You tenderly eased his arms from the malaise of his jacket, bringing the denim and leather infused with cheap cologne and cigarettes up to your nose. It was Eddie. Soothing the beloved jacket against the back of your desk chair, a small paper had dropped from the nearly torn pocket. Reaching out, you picked up the torn page from Dustin Henderson’s yearbook.
Though, no other student could be seen. It was ripped haphazardly to only focus on your picture. 
You.
Eddie Munson had now seen you, as you had now seen him. 
Softly placing the photo back, you rummaged through your closet to retrieve another set of duvets and blankets, where you preciously placed them onto the floor of your bedroom. Your bed had now been stolen, but you weren’t complaining—that much, at least. You’d quietly taken another pillow from your bed, placing it onto your newfound cushion of the floor. There was a reason why you shoved this particular blanket into the closet, it made your skin itch uncomfortably, but you’d withstand the terrible material of the woven covers if it meant that Eddie could get the peace he needed. 
Because if Eddie was okay, you’d be okay. 
Because similarly to Eddie, who were you if not catering to the needs of others in order to keep sanity in your life. You just wanted stability. True stability. 
Cuddling into your blankets, you heard the snores of the past out man next to you. You sighed. In the mere three days of knowing Eddie Munson, you accepted the emotional labor that came with his damaged self. But that was okay. Because Eddie Munson seemed ready to do the same for you. Accept you.
But how willing were you to tolerate the impulsivity of Eddie Munson who knew nothing of stability?
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𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 | Again, there was an error in my tag list, which led me to removing it. Luckily, it’s been a couple days, so I believe most who wished to be tagged already read this chapter. My tag list will continue, I just simply had to remove it for this chapter in particular. I’m terribly sorry for any confusion.
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sxtaep · 1 year
Text
THE HATING GAME - JJK
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working together with your biggest competition was not something you saw yourself doing often. but fucking him one late night at office? never in a million years.
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pairing — jungkook x female reader
genre — angst, smut
word count — 7.2k
warnings/tags — lawyer!jk x lawyer!reader, enemies2lovers, dom!jk, sub!reader, swearing, provocation, insults, petty arguing, vague mentions of murder/strangulation, jealousy, teasing, lying, denial, tension x100, improvisation, touching, so much sarcasm, explicit smut, light bondage, grinding, neck kisses, nipple play, tit slapping, begging, fingering, dirty talk, degradation, oral (m and f receiving), cunnilingus, choking, spitting, pussy slapping, tongue fucking, dick slapping (face), edging, crying, slapping (like once), spanking, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys), light pain kink, finger sucking, angry fucking, creampie, making out, cum eating, post-nut clarity, both very lost and confused by the end.
paired with this edit made by yours truly 🤭
a/n: hello and welcome to jahanara feeding into her office romance fantasies pt98583616 😭 please enjoy this very long and drawn out piece (similar to illicit desire) but more detailed, more descriptive and can be read as a stand-alone.
if you came from tiktok, hello and welcome to the dark side 😁 enjoy the long-awaited lawyer!jk au!
btw this fic has nothing to do with the book/movie called ‘the hating game’ the name just fit this ok 🙄
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“We need to talk,” Jungkook’s voice causes your chest to falter as he enters his office, waiting for you to enter before shutting the door behind you and making home on the seat behind his desk.
“We can’t do this case.”
If you could burst out laughing right now, you would, but this was a professional work environment, “You invite me into your office, distracting me from my own work, just to tell me something I already know?” You make yourself comfortable in the seat opposite his, paying him a fake smile, “I don’t know why you’re panicking, we can easily get out of this. We can just say we have too much on our plate to take on a new case. There, done,” you shrug, leaning back in the seat without a care in the world.
Mr Jeon, your boss, thought it’d be a good idea to pair you up with Jungkook to work on a class case.
Why he’d even make that decision was beyond you. Neither of you got along well, trying too hard to one-up each other, spewing insults back and forth like there was no tomorrow. Failure to work well together in this case, you were both threatened with temporary suspension.
“Yeah, you’re forgetting one thing,” he says.
“What’s that?”
“My dad owns the fucking place.”
Yeah, your boss happened to be Jungkook’s dad, and honestly, it wasn’t such a bad thing. He was treated the same way as the other employees, sometimes a bit worse when it came to you.
You were his favourite employee, the absolute star of his team.
“He’s handed our current cases to another attorney so we can focus on this,” Jungkook groans, getting out of his seat to pace around your office as if he were going through a midlife crisis. He halts after a little dilly-dallying, “We should just take the suspension.”
"Pardon you, but I've got bills to pay, and I can't be having that suspension show up on my job record," you try to reason with him, but Jungkook didn't look very convinced. "Think about it this way…” you trail off, leaving your seat behind your desk to head over to him, standing confident in front of him, “When you're suspended, you're pretty much fired for an unfixed period.”
You were willing to work with Jungkook, just to get this whole thing out of the way, and there was only one way to get him on board.
Provoking him.
“I’m sure the Jeon Jungkook doesn’t wanna get suspended by his own daddy, right?” you taunt him, your voice getting quieter with each word.
Jungkook knew you were messing with him, and hated how you actually got under his skin, but with a defeated sigh, he agrees, “Fine, let’s win this case. How about we work on it over at your place? I’m sure you’ve got no plans for the weekend,” he scoffs, cocking a brow at your overly-confident form.
“I actually have a date this weekend,” you shrug, turning your back towards him ready to take your leave. “We can work on it later tonight, I’m leaving now.”
A date? There’s no way…
Jungkook is quick to rush to the door, blocking you from opening the door just as you reach out for the door knob. His arms were extended out to his sides, stopping you from leaving.
He needed to know who this guy was and why the hell he would go on a date with you of all people. “A date? Someone actually wants to sit and have dinner with you?” he questions, like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard. “He’s gotta be deaf or blind.”
Now, with shit like this, you’d walk away, but Jungkook rendered you trapped in his office, “Listen you conceited asshole,” your index fingers goes to jab at his chest and you have to force yourself to ignore how built he was under his shirt, “I don’t like you. Never have, never will. We’re all a bit different outside of work but I’ve restricted you from seeing that side of me because you don’t deserve it.”
It was a simple and truthful explanation, you hated Jungkook beyond words, neither of you had a relationship outside of the firm. Your work persona would definitely not attract a guy with how much of a workaholic you were.
You needed this date, as a break from all the hardships these cases brought you.
Jungkook pondered your words carefully. Maybe he was a bit iffy about not having a relationship with you outside of work, he didn’t wanna be just a “work colleague” or that “annoying guy from work. He had way too much pride for that.
“Now if you could please stop hogging the door, that would be great. I don’t think I wanna spend another minute with you in your office.”
“Likewise, Y/N,” Jungkook sneers as he steps away from the door. It doesn't even register to either of you that this could be counted as an argument. How easily you both bumped heads with each other would have to come to a stop now that Mr Jeon was keeping a keen eye on you two.
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As the day comes to night, you were still locked away in your office, reading away at your newly appointed case details and taking brief notes. The details were… gory to say the least, and exceptionally hard to read, but being a lawyer, you’d gotten used to it, having read the worst of the worst during your career. It was pretty much a skill to read such gruesome and ill details of murders, kidnappings and assaults with a straight face.
You were lucky not to be the only one reading up on gore so late at night, Jungkook waltzing through your office without knocking (as he always did) with a cup of coffee in his hand. He doesn’t say a word and instead sets the cup on your desk and takes a seat opposite you.
You thought you were seeing things.
Jeon Jungkook buying you coffee? That’s a first.
You don’t say anything, reaching out for the cup and bringing it close to your lips, about to take a sip, but you stop.
“You didn’t poison it, did you?”
As the man was getting comfortable in his seat, he deadpans, “Seriously? What am I, five?”
“Mmm, you act like it,” you mumble, shrugging your shoulders and taking a sip of the coffee anyway.
Thankfully, you were still up and alive.
“Have you had a look at the case yet? It’s a lot of information,” Jungkook says absentmindedly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he propped his feet up onto your desk; a move you’d witnessed on so many occasions, you’d gotten too tired to reprimand him for it.
You set the cup down and speculate over the mess of paper on your desk with a sigh, “Yeah.. I think it might be the hardest we’ve gotten yet.”
You pull out a photo of the crime scene from under the file, sliding it towards him.
It was a very clear image of strangulation on the victim, faded blood and marks of red around the victim’s neck.
All caused by his own father.
“So what are we? Defence or Prosecution?” You’d usually decide this part on your own, but you wanted to hear his thoughts first and ensure he was on the same page as you.
“Easy,” his eyes dip down to your desk, analysing the photo, “We’re defence,” he decides with no hesitation, pulling on his tie to loosen it slightly around his collar.
“What? You wanna go Defence? Seriously?” You thought prosecuting would be the most obvious route to take seeing as the evidence pointed towards the father of the victim being the obvious murderer.
“I spoke with Jimin about it earlier and he also thinks Defence would be the easier route for us.”
“Oh, so it’s just Jimin’s word against mine now?” you arch a brow at him, tilting your head to the side, awaiting a bullshit answer from him.
From the tone of your voice, Jungkook knew you were slowly getting worked up, and quite frankly, there was too much at stake to be arguing when the case hadn’t even started yet. “You know what, we’ll be the Prosecution if it shuts you up.”
As long as you got what you wanted.
“So who’s taking you on a date this weekend?”
Jungkook’s sudden question surprised you. You couldn’t think of one valid reason as to why he cared.
“Um, you probably don’t know him, but his name is Jung Hoseok—”
“—I know him.”
Of course Jungkook knew him; the pair went to law school together but parted ways after Hoseok got a job as a district attorney in the states.
He only returned a couple years back after becoming a legal director at their opposing law firm.
You regretted giving away Hoseok’s name. Now that Jungkook, your absolute nemesis, knew your potential love interest, he was probably planning to absolutely shit talk you to stop you from finding love to feed his bitter self.
“I know Hoseok pretty well, actually. He’s not really fit to be a boss if I’m being honest,” Jungkook recalls, remembering many times back in law school when leadership roles in team activities were up for grabs and Hoseok would always steer clear of them. “Surprised he’s willing to date a bitch,” he snickers, waiting for you to cuss him out.
“Listen, you’re tired, I’m tired, I don’t wanna talk about who’s a bitch and who’s fit enough to be a boss… and it’s definitely not you.”
“Oh yeah? What does Jung Hoseok have that I don’t?”
“Compassion, respect, authority, control, not to mention, he’s quite the attractive man,” you shrug with a sly smile, continuing to boast about Hoseok and at the moment, Jungkook was regretting even asking in the first place.
He could be all that and more.
“But our relationship isn’t very deeply rooted. We’re not in love or anything, we’ve only been on one date so our relationship is at the minimum right now.”
Jungkook didn’t ask for a dramatic reading of your relationship, and he’d just about heard enough, “Yeah, whatever. Can you cook? You should cook for us this weekend. You know, get the brain juice flowing or whatever it’s called,” he stands up abruptly, stretching his arms above his head before heading over to your couch, slouching against the material as he looks over at you, awaiting an answer.
“Why would I cook for someone I hate?”
“You don’t hate me,” he throws back at you, a sly smirk adorning his features, “You pick fights with me and always get competitive, because when you overcome me, it makes you feel better about yourself.”
You bite down on your bottom lip, pondering his words a little.
Maybe he was right to an extent. Nothing felt better than being put against each other and reigning victorious. Everyone in the firm knew how competitive you both were and always steered clear of any kind of opportunity to compete with you.
You sigh and roll your eyes, “Hmm… Maybe I might just have a thing for you, who knows,” you respond casually, shrugging your shoulders just to mess with him a little. “But that’s what you want, right? Another girl to fawn over you?” you taunt him, keeping your eyes trained on him as you recall the number of women that had bombarded your office earlier today after you were counted ‘lucky’ for working with Jungkook, ‘the most attractive guy in the firm.’
Now that made him fix his posture, sitting up for what could only be the most predictable thing he’d ever heard, “Oh my god, I knew it,” he laughs, almost demeaningly, “Everyone and their mum has a thing for me, you’re no different,” he shook his head in disbelief, a large grin spread across his face. “So that’s why you always argue with me, huh? Just so you can talk to me? That’s cute, especially since it’s you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you question, slightly offended.
“Because it’s gonna be fun having the Y/N, my biggest competition, falling in love with me, Jeon Jungkook. Imagine all the headlines that would make.”
God, he’s so full of himself.
As much as you hated how egotistical he was, you wanted to continue your little play act, rising to your feet and walking over to Jungkook by the couch and once near enough, you grab the end of his tie, leaning down towards him and pulling him close to your face with a deceitful smile gracing your lips, “Oh Jeon… You’re so smart, I can’t believe you figured me out so quickly…” you whisper, voice as soft as ever and something Jungkook had never heard before.
He couldn’t deny, your hold on his tie was probably the most attractive thing he’d ever witnessed, but he would never flat-out admit it to you.
Jungkook lifts his hand to gently rest against your cheek, merely trying to see just how far you’d go to keep this act up, “Mhm, I bet you like where we are now, don’t you?” he teases, his voice dropping several octaves and matching the volume of what was once your voice, now barely there as your mind went blank and his eyes proceeded to dance between your lips and your eyes.
Your cheeks had heated up drastically under his touch and you weren’t expecting him to make a comeback like that, and you really weren’t prepared to take things any further, but your pride would take a major blow if you backed out now.
Besides, the setting was perfect for that kind of moment; a near empty building, alone in the office, lights dimmed down, both tired and stressed out..
Your lips were mere inches away from his own and you could’ve kissed him if you really wanted to, and maybe, maybe you did want to kiss him—
No, that was the tense air speaking.
Just improvise.
“Mhm, this is exactly what I wanted…” you whisper, giving his tie one last tug till your foreheads were touching, “But I’m sure your hand can make-do in better places, don’t you think?”
Jungkook’s brow twitches, and you almost miss it, but it was enough of a sign to let you know he wasn’t expecting you to keep up. It wasn’t a problem for him though, the man was just as stubborn and prideful as you were, there was absolutely no way in hell he was gonna back down.
Not until you do.
“And what about yours, Y/N?” he challenges, eyes briefly peering down at your hand still gripping on the end of his tie, “I bet you’re really skilled with your hands, aren’t you?”
The real fun begins when the hand that was once resting against your cheek, drops a little lower, making home over the dip of your neck and Jungkook could feel your skin burn under his palm.
Your heart was racing as you discreetly pondered what he meant by that and once you clocked on, your body had stiffened, but you needed to seem unfazed, “Of course I am, probably more skilled than you at this point,” you shrug, gesturing towards his hand near your neck.
If he had the balls, he’d touch you somewhere more scandalous.
“Oh, is that right? You wanna bring my hands further down then, Y/N?”
Jungkook was testing you and your patience. If he thought you were gonna pussy out, he was wrong.
Your left hand grabs onto his wrist, right hand landing flat against his chest as you pushed him back against the sofa, and without even thinking of your next move, you impulsively make home on Jungkook’s lap, straddling his thighs as you adjust yourself on top of him. He watched on, slightly shocked and a little amused at the lengths you were going through just to prove a point.
With your hand wrapped around his wrist, you drag his hand down your body, slowly reaching your chest and stopping, “How about this?” you whisper, your voice on the verge of the faltering.
“Could be better,” he shrugs nonchalantly, sitting up to pull his blazer off his body, leaving it elsewhere and going back to his previous position, “Try this…”
He begins to pull his tie off around his collar, leaving it beside him for later use and then reaching up to unbutton his white dress shirt until hints of skin peeked through, “It’ll be better if you touch me yourself, but I’m sure you already know that since you’re so ‘skilled,” he says, his hands resting over your hips.
How long was Jungkook gonna keep this up? You were running out of ideas and though this was all a game, you couldn't help but feel just the slightest bit turned on, but how couldn’t you? You were sitting on his lap, your near-skintight skirt rolling up your thighs and you were almost certain he could feel the slight throbbing between your legs.
With one hand placed on his shoulder, the other reaching down to slip your hand past his shirt, your palms making direct contact with his built chest, God, you’re all talk,” you roll your eyes, leaning in to whisper against his ear, “Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?”
Jungkook throws his head back, eliciting a low chuckle, eyes meeting yours again as his palms made home on your thighs, squeezing your flesh enough to warm himself up, “If we continue, this won't be a game anymore…” he trails off, trying his absolute hardest to ignore the growing pain of his hardening cock under his slacks, “I won't be able to stop,” he continues, knowing inside he wanted this too, but was more than willing to back off if you seriously didn’t wanna do this, “Is this what you want?”
Fuck, of course you wanted this. Your body needed an output, some kind of relief. Just this once, you were willing to set aside your differences for what, ten minutes of quick relief?
You adjust yourself on his lap, your lace-clad cunt snug above his growing erection and you could've sworn you almost moaned at the contact. "Can you feel that?” you whisper, referring to the throbbing between your legs. "Is that enough of an answer for you?"
"Jesus Y/N," Jungkook nearly groans at the closeness. If he continued this game, he would cross a line that would be hard to come back from, and he was willing and ready to deal with the consequences to come.
With one swift move, he rests his fingers under your chin, tilting your head to the side to make room for his lips to attach to your neck, gently sucking and biting along your untainted neck didn't whilst he kept you distracted by the new sudden feeling of his large hands rocking your hips back and forth over his erection.
You elicit a soft sigh, eyes coming to a gentle shut as you basked in the soft pleasure, your soaked-through panties bound to leave a mark of your mess on top of him.
Jungkook pulls away from your neck, leaning back to admire your state; your cheeks were flushed pink, hair a little messy and a sheer layer of sweat adorning your chest, resulting in your blouse sticking to your body and arched a brow at you, “Take the shirt off for me, will you?”
You don’t hesitate to oblige, unbuttoning your mesh blouse with your eyes solely focused on him, and it seemed Jungkook had the same plan to just stare you down as you pulled the material off your shoulders, your well hidden assets finally coming in to view and Jungkook’s breath had hitched in his throat.
He didn’t know what came over him, or if he was just high in the moment, but you looked absolutely unreal; a simple yet stunning black lace bralette over your chest, your cleavage on full show and and it was everything he’d imagined. He inhales sharply, resisting the urge to just grab you, but Jungkook was a man of class (sometimes).
He gestured for you to remove the bralette and you did, hands reaching for your back to unclasp everything and let the material fall to your lap, freeing your tits right in front of his face and he was impulsively leaning in, briefly flicking his tongue over your hardened nipples before pulling away just to leave a ruthless smack over the expanse of your tits, revelling in the way your skin would redden and how your body would jump on top of him.
If he was feeling nice, he’d give in to you, give you exactly what you wanted, but to be frank, he wasn’t in a nice mood. He didn’t know if he hated you the way he did before all of this but God, was he gonna give you a piece of his mind..
Jungkook briefly slips his hand under your skirt and reaching between your legs, eager to feel just how soaked you were through your panties and boy, he was not disappointed.
Just mere talking and subtle teasing got you this riled up?
Clearly yes, your thighs were shuddering between his hand and you were almost embarrassed to be sitting where you were right now, “What are you waiting for?” you huff, frustration evident in your tone as you pulled yourself up to slip off your panties.
“I’m waiting for you to beg.”
“I’m not begging you—”
As soon as your panties were off, Jungkook was immediately pulling you back down onto his lap, now getting a real feel of your slick dampening his dress pants, “You’ll beg me, otherwise we can just wrap this up and call it a day…” he trails off, firmly gripping your hips as he pressed you down harder on his hardening cock, forcing a quiet moan to slip past your lips.
“Come on, Y/N… you know what you want, just tell me,” he whispers, eyes meeting yours and drinking in the irritation in them.
God, he loved irritating you.
Giving in just this once wouldn't hurt you, but you weren’t exactly the begging type of person, “I need your hands…” you manage to muster, your poor cunt practically leaking over his slacks.
“That’s not how you ask nicely,” Jungkook taunts you, throwing in a disappointed sigh, “Enlighten me, will you? How bad do you want them?” He leans back against the sofa, his hands rolling the hem of your skirt up over your thighs so he could have a clear cut view of your pussy, swallowing sharply once his eyes catch a glint of your flesh shining under the dim lights.
"Fuck you.." you grit. Jungkook stating the obvious was embarrassing for you; who would've thought Jeon Jungkook would be the reason for your desperation.
You could tell from the tone of his voice that he was enjoying tormenting you, and today was not gonna be the day you beg for him; you had far too much pride for that.
Instead of using your words, you grab ahold of his hand, guiding it down your body and between your legs. Once the pad of his fingers were against your clit, you wasted no time in rocking your hips against them. "I— I want your fingers inside me," you whisper against his ear, hoping he’d cut you some slack.
"Oh Y/N..." Jungkook shook his head disapprovingly. He quickly pulls his hands away to fetch his tie laying next to him on the couch.
You knew exactly where he was going with this and you were right; he’d grabbed your wrists and forced them behind your lower back, using his black tie to restrain your hands, and all you could do was shuffle on top of him, “I’d be careful when moving, wouldn’t want you to fall back,” he taunts you, a grin plastering his face as he pulled on the restraints one last time.
Jungkook doesn’t even spare you a minute to get used to the tie, his hand making home between your legs once again as he moved the pad of his fingers up and down against your swollen clit agonisingly slow, “Don’t you know your manners, Y/N? What happened to saying ‘please’ when you want something?”
You were falling apart on top of him, your hands clawing at nothing as you tried to remain composed. You felt absolutely hopeless, and giving in didn’t seem so bad right about now.
“I fucking hate you,” you seethe through gritted teeth, grinding yourself against his fingers seeing as his lace was too slow for your own liking, “Please, Jungkook…” it physically hurt you to say those words, feeling your cheeks swell up in embarrassment, “I wanna fuck myself on your fingers…”
Most certainly pleased by your answer, he doesn't waste any time, thrusting his index and middle finger into you so fast, a gasp was ripped from your throat. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Only a real slut would beg to get fucked by a guy she hates.”
His hands began to push in and out carefully, admiring your eventual fucked out state, "Fuck yourself on them, pretty," Jungkook instructs, gradually speeding up the rhythm of his fingers. "Or do you want me to curl them?"
It was a rhetorical question, already feeling him curl his fingers between your soft walls as you helplessly clenched around him.
It felt so good.
It was unfortunate your body was close to giving in, struggling to stay up on top of him but you tried to muster as much strength as you could to keep going, drowning Jungkook's digits in your slick as your hips moved up and down on his fingers at a similar pace to his wrist, “Jeon, I can’t..
"Oh? But you can argue with me, call me names, and make a fool of me in front of my colleagues?" Jungkook taunts, speeding up his fingers to a torturous fast pace that was sure to bring you closer to your high. "You can do all of that, but you can't fuck yourself on my fingers? What a pathetic bitch.”
He reaches behind you to untie the restraints binding your wrists together, letting the material drop to the floor behind you before he was picking you up and carrying you over to your desk, setting you down on the surface and pushing you to lie back ever so slightly as he dropped to his knees between your legs.
He split your legs apart, audibly groaning at the sight of your swollen pussy; clit peeking out and your tight hole desperately clenching around nothing. “Fuck… Look at that desperate pussy..” he mumbles to himself, fixing your legs over his shoulders as he leaned in, pressing the flat of his tongue against your cunt.
A content sigh left fell from your lips as he used the tip of his tongue to toy with your sensitive bud, causing your thighs to shake around his head. The repetitive movement had your body tensing and the moans you’d been keeping to a minimum now at the max.
“So— so good..” you whimper, gazing down at him. With your hands free, they moved to grab at his dark locks, shoving his head further between your legs till you could feel his nose repeatedly nudging against your clit and good god, Jungkook would go to hell and back to drown in your pussy for eternity.
He let out a muffled groan, sliding his tongue between your folds and sucking on your clit like his life depended on it, but he needed to pull away if he wanted to live to experience that.
When Jungkook pulled away, you whined, but he wasn’t gone for long, suddenly delivering a harsh slap to your cunt that made your body jump and left your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
It stung, but it felt so fucking good.
Pleased by your reaction, he did it again, this time only harder, “Oh, so Miss Lawyer likes getting her slutty pussy slapped?”
Before you could even respond, Jungkook was biting on his bottom lip, not wasting another second before he’d spat right over your aching cunt, forcing you to arch your back off the desk as he watched the bead of spit trail between your folds in awe.
He leaned in again, shoving his tongue into your aching cunt and feeling your walls clench around the wet muscle almost as if you didn’t wanna let go and he found it beyond amusing, pulling away almost immediately just to spite you as he stood up to tower over your body; mouth glistening from all the slick and you couldn’t deny he looked like a hot mess.
What you didn’t see coming, was Jungkook grabbing your face, slapping you one as he squished your cheeks within his hold, forcing your lips to pucker as he spat into your mouth, the mixture of his saliva and your slick seeping down your throat as you swallowed with no hesitation.
He chuckled deeply, “Should’ve known an A class whore like yourself was into this shit. What do you think the jury would think about that, huh?” He continues to tug on your face, forcing you to keep your eyes on him so he could watch you break down before him.
Jungkook pulls you up and off the desk, standing tall and confident in front of you as you tried to regain a steady composure, almost stumbling.
“I don’t know how they’d feel knowing the slutty prosecutor got on her knees for the heir of this firm,” he starts, reaching out to wrap his hand around your neck firmly and pulling you towards him, “We should risk it and find out, huh?” he breathes out against your lips, low and hoarse and you had to squeeze your thighs shut from the flutters you were feeling between your legs.
“I’d rather throw dirt in my eyes than suck your dick,” you spit, shamelessly lying through your teeth and Jungkook immediately knew you were playing games.
“You think you’re funny, huh?” His hands shift from your neck to the back of your head, gripping a hand full of your hair and urging you to get on your knees and you did exactly that, making it easy for him to get you down as you tried your best to conceal the knowing smile growing on your lips but all you did was lick your lips up at him, anticipation clouding your eyes as you gulped.
The subtle action alone had his dick jumping in his slacks and he refused to wait any longer before unbuckling his belt and pulling pants halfway down his thighs, leaving a thick and oblivious imprint of his cock straining against his boxers right in front of your face.
You didn’t realise it, but your body was inching towards him and Jungkook took notice straight away, doing you the favour of pulling his cock out from its confines to stand tall and hard before you.
You were meaning to reach out for him, but he beat you to it, wrapping a strong hand around the base of his cock as he pumped himself between his fist a couple times, squinting at the little bead of precum eventually dripping down the base of his cock and you could only stare on in awe.
“You want my cock down your throat, huh?” he taunts deeply, moving forwards so he could guide the tip of his leaking cock across your face, nudging your cheek and avoiding all contact with your mouth.
Right where you wanted him most.
“Say it,” he lightly slaps the tip of his dick against your cheek, dragging it down to your lips but not yet pushing in, “Say you’re a cock-hungry bitch who wants her face fucked by the man she hates so much…”
Submission was never your thing. You always showed yourself out to be a woman who always stood her ground, never taking shit from anyone. But now it was your worst enemy, proving you wrong on all of the above.
“I’m a cock-hungry bitch..” your words are there, but no confidence within them, “Who wants her face fucked by the man she hates so much,” you mumble against the tip of his dick, hoping he’d give in to you.
Jungkook shrugs, “Could be better, but what more do I expect from a whore?” He suddenly pushes the tip of his cock past your lips, taking you by surprise as he groaned deeply, basking in the warmth of your mouth as he slowly eased himself into you inch by inch until he completely bottomed out.
You couldn’t handle his immense size, already struggling to breathe and he hadn’t even moved yet and tears were brimming your eyes.
“Tight fucking fit…” he seethes, slowly pulling out only to slam back into your mouth with brute force, each thrust pushing against the back of your throat and though you started choking, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You didn’t want him to stop; allowing him to use your head as assistance.
“Fucking made for my cock, aren’t you? A perfect fit..”
The only sounds that could be heard were Jungkook’s groans and the illicit sounds of your gagging and spluttering, a mixture of spit and precum leaking out the sides of your mouth.
"Gonna make better use of your pretty mouth.. and dumb you up so you'll never be able to throw all that fucking attitude at me again.." With no prep whatsoever, he impales your throat again, this time keeping your head at the very base of his cock, your nose brushing against his abdomen as your throat clenched around him, squeezing tightly to the point you could feel him throb.
“If this is the only way to shut you up, I’ll have you on your knees more often,” he looks down at you, watching the woman who stood so high on her fucking imaginary pedestal, now kneeling between his legs with her mouth stuffed full of his cock like a needy bitch.
Jungkook was damn near certain he almost came from the sight of you alone so he suddenly pulled you away from him, a thick and heavy string of precum connecting your lips to him leaving you a gasping, teary eyed, heaving mess.
“You’re so fucking annoying,” you grumble, slightly annoyed by the sudden withdrawal as you hastily stood onto your feet.
“Oh, Y/N.. What am I gonna do with you?” he questions, sarcasm lacing his voice as he took a couple steps towards you just to grab your arm and turn you around; pushing you down front first against the glass surface of his desk.
You could barely make out what he was about to do, the side of your face pressed up against the glass but God, he was so close behind you, you couldn’t help but push back against him a little, whimpering at the sliver of skin-on-skin contact with him and Jungkook was all for your eagerness.
He spits against the palm of his hand, using the heel of his palm to reach down between your legs and massage your weeping cunt, briefly letting his digits dip into you before replacing them with his cock.
At last.
“Oh— fuck.. Jeon—!” You’re more vocal now than you were ever before, his size deeming you absolutely vulnerable as he pushed into you slowly. The stretch was beyond humane, he was practically splitting you open and your tears were suddenly making another appearance.
Jungkook felt like he was going through the seven stages of grief; not expecting you to be so tight around him and already so addicting, it was like a revelation for him.
“Pussy made just for me..” he groans, a palm aiming to land a harsh smack against your ass cheek, making you jump and the ongoing stinging sensation turning the affected area a light shade of pink which was bound to darken overtime. “All fucking mine—” he grits harshly squeezing the flesh of your ass as he continued to thrust in and out of your sopping cunt, “Fuck, look at your tight pussy just sucking me in… bet you like me shoving into your cunt, huh?”
“Uhghhh yes, yes! I love it so much!”
You loved the pain.
Each powerful thrust caused your body to repeatedly shift against your desk, again and again his dick slamming so deep into your guts you wondered if it were even possible to experience such a thing.
You could tell he was giving you his all; his muscles were tense, every vein in his body was popping out just so he could take out his frustrations on you. He dealt with your ass for three years; constant bickering, competitions, insults, but fuck him, if he knew you what got you going, he’d have fucked you way sooner.
“Bet you wished I’d come in and fuck you at some point, huh?” A smirk was lingering over his features, knowing well what your answer was.
“God— yes!” Your back forcibly arches against your will as you nod desperately.
Truth be told, you did look forward to his visits in your office just to argue with you. Arguing with an attractive man who looked even hotter when he was mad?
Of course.
“And everytime I’d leave your office, you’d sit in your chair with a wet fucking pussy all day, hoping I’d come back in just to fuck you, right? But God, why didn’t I do that?” he mentally curses himself, digging his fingers into your hips as his pace faltered, indicating he was losing traction.
“Fuck you for not making a move,” you hiss through tears, gripping at the edge of your desk for stability as his thrusts became sloppy and messy.
He lands another harsh smack against your ass, making you help in surprise, “Shut the fuck up, I’m not done,” he seethes, picking up the pace and knocking all other backtalk out of your lungs, "Every damn day, I've had to deal with your shit; talking down on me—" his words laced with anger as he slams in to you, "—flaunting your stupid awards in my face and walking around like you own the fucking place."
He abruptly pulls out, turning you over to lay back on the desk whilst he spread your legs apart, his cock slipping into you once more as his free hand settled a harsh slap against your tits, “Now I have you under me, crying on my cock like a little bitch. Where'd that confidence go, huh?"
You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, to busy doing exactly as he’d stated. Your mind was hazy and your body was going numb, all you were capable of was squeezing your walls tightly around his cock as a sign to say you were close.
“Oh you’re close, huh?” Jungkook brings his hand down to scoop up the stringy mess connecting both your bodies, “We can’t have security walk in, can we?” lifting his hand again to shove three slick coated digits into your mouth in a bid to silence your moans as you came. “Come all over my cock like you were born for it.”
And thank god he did what he did because your pleasure filled cries would have woken up the entire city.
Your tongue lapped at his fingers, sucking off whatever was there before he pulled them out of your mouth, admiring the way they glistened under the dim lights.
You stared up at him in a daze, chest heaving and tits bruised red as he thrusted back and forth a couple more times before finally reaching his orgasm with a low bellow.
“Fuck…” he groans to himself and you could feel his warmth completely fill you up, some of it too much to the point white was leaking out of your sensitive cunt as he drained himself empty into you.
Once Jungkook was certain he was done, he slowly pulled out, his cock falling limp and his mess now prominent between your legs, noticing it was all slipping out so he did you the duty of using his fingers to push as much as he could back into you, the sensitivity making you shudder, “Can’t let it go to waste,” he chuckles, bringing his fingers up to his lips to sneak a taste.
It was the hottest thing you’d ever seen and he was pulling you to sit up on the desk before grabbing your case with both hands and kissing you with all his might.
It was unexpected but you were too in the moment to stop him. You could just about make out the distinctive taste of yourself and him on your lips and all you were wondering was how the hell you’d both come back from this.
Jungkook bit down on your bottom lip, dragging it out towards him before letting go and watching the plumpness bounce back, red and swollen like he’d left his mark on you.
“What did we just do..?” you whisper, finally drinking in the state of yourself and the absolute state of your office, papers everywhere and the smell of sex surrounding you.
Jungkook didn’t know what came over him, but he needed to reassure you one thing; “This probably wasn’t ideal but I don’t regret it,” he says, eyes glued to yours and curious to know if you felt the same way.
You didn’t know if you felt the same way, but you certainly weren’t feeling bad about it.
“You don’t have to say anything now, or put a label on it or anything, you can take your time,” he tells you softly, pulling away from you to pull his pants back up and tuck himself away. He was unsure whether you wanted to be alone or wanted to stay in his presence, but he figured he’d do what was safest, “Want me to clean you up and walk you to your car?”
Your hands adjusted the skirt that had been rolled up your hips, pulling it down to shield your thighs and the mess as you shook your head, “Oh no, that’s okay, I can take it from here,” you reply, this time giving him a genuine smile for his chivalry, one he’d never actually seen on you before and he wished he could see it more often.
Jungkook nodded and went to collect his shirt by the sofa, throwing it over his shoulder and heading for the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then for some case work.”
“Yeah, you too…”
He curtly nodded and headed out of your office with a sigh. He didn’t wanna leave you alone after that, but he wanted to avoid any intrusive/pushy questioning and awkwardness.
How the hell would you both ever come back from this?
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thepixelelf · 1 month
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and the universe said,
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07 - "bro, chill"
genres/tags: soulmate au, idol au, comedy, romance, dumbassery relationship(s): ot13 x reader chapter warnings: coarse language. kithing. a liiitle svt on svt violence note: ik it's been a long time please be nice to me <3 (this isn't edited... I'll take a look at it when I have the time)
When soulmates are suddenly thrust upon the world, you are one in a million who wishes they weren’t – and that’s before you meet the person (people?!) making your life much harder than it needs to be. And before someone asks you to sign an NDA.
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“Where are they?” Myungjun asks as soon as Jihoon and Junhui enter the room they agreed upon.
Junhui braces both of his arms on the back of a chair. “What do you mean?”
“Your soulmate—” Cutting himself off with a sigh, Myungjun pinches the bridge of his nose and answers his own question. “You didn’t bring them.”
Yejung, who was sitting at a table with her laptop, shuts it with a frown. “Why not?”
Junhui shrugs. “I’m just here because Jihoon dragged me out.” He shifts between looking at the three other people in the room. “You guys know I just met my soulmate, right? I don’t like not having them here with me, either.”
“Well then why didn’t you—”
“They don’t know.” Jihoon cuts off Myungjun’s words, then pulls out a chair and drops himself in it. He stares at a random spot on the table. When he doesn’t elaborate any further, Yejung sends a furtive glance Myungjun’s way.
“Don’t know…” She leans her forearms on the table and scoots her chair closer. “...what? That you’re their soulmate? That there’s more than one of you? That you’re famous?”
Junhui snorts. “All of the above?”
At Junhui's quip and Jihoon's continued silence, Myungjun raises a cynical brow.
"You didn't tell them?" Yejung asks, softly shocked. "Why?"
Junhui's eyes skirt to Jihoon; he's unwilling to share his own reasons, though he doesn't quite understand this about himself, either.
Jihoon sighs. "I don't know. It's complicated. Things happened too fast the first time we—"
"The first time?" Myungjun echoes. "So you've been with them multiple times."
“Don’t say it like that.” Jihoon almost pouts, but the facial expression just makes him look angry. “Look. I ran into them when the vocal team was on the way to that radio show. We’d stopped by a cafe and there wasn’t much time and I was so out of my mind that I—” He cuts himself off. “It doesn’t matter. I got their number, and then they left. I asked to meet today and we did. Jun was already there for…” With his arms crossed, Jihoon looks over at Junhui, remembering that he still doesn’t really know what Junhui was doing at the same cafe you apparently frequent. Is this the same cat cafe Junhui is always talking about? “…some reason. Then someone started singing, and they told us their soulmate is stupid and annoying because their mark…”
“It’s not like ours,” Junhui finishes for Jihoon, though this only deepens the confusion written on Yejung and Myungjun’s faces.
“If it's not like yours, then how do you know they're your—”
“It's them, Hyung.” Jihoon can't help noticing the hopelessness in his own voice. It's you. He knows it's you.
But you don't know it's them— him.
And he's not sure you want to know.
“Their mark, like, grows,” Junhui explains. “Ours just stay on our hands, but when one of us sings, the notes go all over their arms and neck. Maybe other places — I don’t know — but they obviously don’t think it’s either of us since we weren’t singing when their mark did its thing.”
“So…” Myungjun crosses his arms and taps his finger on his bicep. “They don't like their mark.”
Junhui doesn't nod right away, but he does eventually.
Myungjun turns to Jihoon. “And you think that means they don't like you.”
Groaning and rubbing his hands over his face, Jihoon doesn't dignify that with a response. “Even if they did like their mark, it’s an insane situation. Thirteen soulmates? They’re gonna run for the hills when they find out.”
“That’s not necessarily true,” Yejung says, to which Jihoon gives her a dry look and Junhui’s eyes light up. She clears her throat. “We just need to find a way to calmly inform them of the situation — preferably in a safe, comfortable environment.”
Myungjun recognizes a Yejung Game Plan brewing when he sees it. “Basically, what she’s saying is…”
“Let me talk to them.” Yejung opens her laptop again and begins typing away. “We just need to go about this in a calm, logical manner.” She gives a little nonchalant wave of her hand. “This’ll be easier than a design meeting.”
You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, arms crossed, legs too, as you stare down at the shiny black credit card lying there between you and Heejun. His position mirrors yours, head tilted while he studies the card.
“It could be fake,” you say. Your knee bounces up and down, up and down.
Heejun lifts his head to give you a look. “Why would it be fake?”
“He said he doesn’t believe in banks.”
“It doesn’t look fake.” Heejun reaches out and takes the card, flipping it over in his fingers to read the back. “Looks like any other credit card. We should test it.”
You frown. “How?”
“Uh,” Heejun speaks like the answer is obvious. “Buy something?”
Okay, it is obvious, but the idea doesn’t sit too well with you. “Isn’t that stealing?”
“He gave you the card.”
“Yeah, but the police don’t know that,” you argue. “If I got charged for fraud, it would be his word against mine— no one would believe coffee guy just handed me his black card.”
Without moving his head, Heejun glances up from the card to look at you. "Why would he lie?"
"Um, because he already has? Who knows— maybe this card is connected to illicit activities and he planted it on me to implicate me."
“Which he would do because…?”
You throw your hands up in the air, then let them drop emphatically at your side. “I don’t know! Why did he do any of what he did?”
He raises a brow. “Because he’s a weirdo who likes you?”
“Okay but have you ever given your credit card to a person you’ve only met twice?”
Heejun’s shoulders rise in a shrug. “I’ve wanted to.”
“Seriously?” You can’t imagine your friend going that gaga over a crush, but then again, there was that girl in fourth grade whom he gave all his choco pies to. Heejun loves choco pies.
“Mine would decline though. It wouldn’t exactly impress.”
You lightly shove his shoulder. “Oh come on, it wouldn’t decline.”
“It would if they went over the limit. People only give people their credit cards for expensive stuff. You know that, right?”
The black card gleams up at you, almost tauntingly.
“Expensive stuff like what?”
He shrugs again. “Like a car?”
“You’ve been watching too many CEO dramas.” You exhale and place both hands on the floor with a pointed slam. Standing, you pick the credit card up and brush imaginary dirt off your pants.
“You won’t be so sarcastic when Park Seojoon tells you to keep that thing.”
You roll your eyes as you toss the card into the same trinket dish you keep your keys and other miscellaneous things in. “Isn’t that guy like six foot?”
“So was Huijun,” he counters.
“So are you. Is that all it takes to be a CEO nowadays?” you joke, pulling out your phone. “Height?”
Heejun scoffs, then frames his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “That and my devilish good looks.”
“Please.” You tap on a notification from an unknown number. “If that were true, you’d be the one handing out black…cards…”
At the way you trail off, Heejun furrows his brow and walks over to you. “What’s up? Did you fall for another online scam?”
Not this again. “Okay, first of all, that was not a scam, and I did not fall for it—”
“You didn’t fall for a not scam?”
“Shut up. What do you think this means?” You turn your phone towards him, and he takes it from your unsteady hand.
He reads aloud. “‘Hello, this is Shin Yejung of Pledis Entertainment.’ Did you apply there?”
“No,” you say, then shake your head and wave your hand. “I mean. I don’t know. Maybe. I applied to like five hundred places. But this isn’t that. Keep reading.”
Heejun takes a breath and starts reading like he’s holding a new edict. “‘It has come to my attention that you are in possession of one of my coworker’s bank cards.’ Oooooh, you’re in trouble.” He drags out the last syllable. “‘Please meet me at…’ whatever building, numbers numbers numbers… ‘so I can retrieve it. Please reply to this number for more information, and thank you for your time.’ Hm.��
“What do you think… am I getting arrested?”
Lowering your phone, Heejun gives you a seriously? look over it. “The cops are texting criminals now?”
“So you agree I’m a criminal.”
“You get annoying when you’re nervous, you know that?” When you roll your eyes, Heejun mirrors the expression and pokes your forehead long enough that he pushes you backward. “Look bub, you wanted to give the stupid thing back without using it, and now the opportunity has been handed right to you.” He waves your phone in the air like evidence. “The only question is why coffee guy didn’t just text you himself.”
You cross your arms. “Maybe he doesn’t like me as much as you thought.”
“One more self-deprecating comment out of you and I’m posting those pictures from your twentieth birthday.”
A gasp wrenches from your throat. “You wouldn’t!”
Joshua Hong doesn’t think he has that many unread messages on his phone.
He looks down.
Oof. 682.
Well, it’s not his worst.
Notifications fly by at the top of his screen.
[vernon] where is this guy
[chan] hyung this is important!!
[wonwoo] when have we known that guy to answer anything
[soonyoung] someone text yejung!!
It’s probably not that important, whoever they’re talking about. His members are likely just freaking out over this whole soulmate thing again.
Joshua lifts his hand and stares at his weird, natural — supernatural — tattoo. He still can’t bring himself to believe it.
Soulmates? Really? In this economy? This isn’t Tumblr.
At least… Joshua looks around the dance practice room… He’s pretty sure this isn’t Tumblr.
His phone rings, which is weird since he always has it on silent. Sliding the answer button, he brings the phone up to his ear. “Yejung?”
“Where are you?”
“The practice room,” Joshua answers plainly. “Isn’t this where we’re supposed to be today?”
Yejung sighs on the other end of the line. “I said in the group chat that we were dealing with soulmate stuff. Upstairs.”
Ah, so that’s what has everyone in a tizzy. “Alright, okay. Where am I going?”
“Room eight-thirteen—” He hangs up and starts to pack his things before Yejung can say, “Wait, no, nine-thirteen. We'll start when you arrive. Joshua? Hello?”
You check your phone for what must be upwards of the fifth time.
Yup, Shin Yejung of Pledis Entertainment definitely told you to meet her in room 813, and yet here you are. In room 813. Alone.
You shift on the leather couch. It’s a lounge-like room you’re in. You don’t really understand the purpose of such a room in an entertainment company, but whatever. You’re only here to return something you never should’ve had in the first place.
Although…
You turn the card over in your hand, watching the way the fancy lighting bounces off of it.
Why would Jihoon give it to you if he was just going to get it back like this?
Also, now that you really think about it, Jihoon did say something weird when he left yesterday with Huijun. Something about not letting “the rest” scare you off. Whatever that means.
The rest of what?
Or… whom?
You know Jihoon must work for the company in some capacity. The fact that both he and Huijun were wearing masks makes you think they could be artists…
Oh. Duh. Why didn’t you think of this earlier?
Switching apps, you tap the search bar and start typing. Just as you’re done with the last character of Jihoon HYBE, the door you entered through opens. You hastily slip your phone into your back pocket as you stand to greet the person coming in.
“Hello, you must be…” Your eyes scan over his face. He’s… delicate looking, until you move your gaze downwards a little, and his broad shoulders and thick arms are decidedly not delicate looking. “…Shin Yejung?”
You tilt your head. With no mask on the lower half of his face, he seems familiar. Now this guy must be an idol — you probably saw him on the walls when you were making your way through this maze of a building. 
He just raises a brow. “Who are you?”
“Oh, uh…” You stay standing in front of the couch as he approaches you, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m just here to return this.” Lifting the black card up, you hold it out between you and the man. “It’s Jihoon’s.”
“Jihoon’s?” he echoes, then moves to take the card from you, pinched between his thumb and forefinger. 
You both see it at the same time.
His mark, five black lines, clear as day.
Yours, peeking out from where your sleeve is pulled halfway up your hand.
You look up from your not-really-joined hands, then look down again.
No fucking way. 
“Twinkle twinkle, little—” The notes, whatever they are, dance across his mark.
No fucking way. 
You meet his eyes. “...Songbird?”
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. A few too many seconds.
Then, “So it’s you.”
“Holy—!”
At the same time as you try to jerk away, he attempts to turn your hand over and get a better look. Neither plan really works out. You stumble backwards, and with your hand in his, he gets pulled down with you onto the couch. His free hand shoots out to keep himself from slamming into you, but, persistent as the universe is, your faces end up very freaking close to each other anyway. Warmth from his knee on the couch cushion next to your thigh seeps through your clothing.
He doesn’t move. You don’t either.
For some reason, you feel stuck in place. Not in a bad way, necessarily, but… you just feel like you should be exactly where you are.
You’re almost too close to make real eye contact, so you just watch the way his eyes study yours.
“Songbird?” you whisper, though you have no idea what you’re trying to ask.
He stops analyzing you and finally looks at you. “Yeah?”
“…Are you leaning towards me on purpose?”
His lips (since when were you looking at those?) curl down at the corners. “Are you?”
Slowly, like your mind is trying to catch up to your body, you shake your head. “No…”
He drifts closer. Or you do. Or you both do.
Or something.
Your lips brush over his, and you feel just as much as you hear him whisper. “Then neither am I.”
In the span of a second, his free hand moves from the back of the couch to cradle your jaw, his thumb grazing gently just under your ear. He kisses you, lips moving over yours in a way you’ve felt before, but also in a way you’ve never felt before.
It’s strange.
Not bad strange, but strange in the way that it feels like you’ve just put the last of the groceries in the fridge. It’s like folding that final piece of laundry. Like coming home to the bed you made when you left in the morning.
It’s… satisfactory?
But that’s not the word people normally use when they think of putting their tongue in someone else’s mouth, right?
You’re running out of breath, but Songbird is insistent, and so are his lips, which you find yourself unable to get enough of. He pulls back for half a breath, registers your kiss me again or so help me facial expression, and dives right back in. He’s kissing you and you’re kissing him and you’re soulmates and…
Wait.
Soulmates?
“Wait,” you say, though it comes out more like, “Mmaem” Climbing both your hands up his — whoa — strong arms, you cup his cheeks in preparation to push him away, but he seems to like your touch. He covers the back of one of your hands with his warm palm, and he hums in a way that is not PG-13.
The sound has you melting, unfortunately.
Not for long though.
He’s ripped from you just as quickly as he fell onto you, pulled back by some guy with fluffy black hair, cozy attire head to toe, and… shit, a you’re in trouble glare the likes of which you’ve never seen before. He’s not even looking at you, yet you feel scolded.
“Yah!” he yells at your soulmate, who’s now on the floor. Then, after glancing at you for half a second and apparently finding zero more words to say, he shouts at him again. “Yah!”
Your soulmate opens his mouth, but then he turns to look at the now-open door, which leads you to do the same. A mob of prettyboys stands just outside, some with their jaws dropped and some looking like murder just got legalized and they’re on the prowl.
Someone’s despondent voice shouts, “Hyung!”
You feel like hiding under a blanket. Before your flight instinct kicks in, though, you recognize two familiar faces. “Jihoon?” His eyes meet yours when you say his name. “Huijun?”
One of the many boys among those you don't recognize echoes, “Huijun?” while sending him a weird look.
Someone pushes through the crowd — more like slinks through, occasionally nudging one of the other guys out of the way. His eyes stay firmly on you as he approaches, but you find no fear rising despite that. For some unknown reason, even as this completely unfamiliar man strides over to you with a frankly alarming amount of eye contact, you feel… safe.
Or at least, something close to it.
He kneels in front of where you're still seated on the leather couch, hand resting mere centimetres from leg. “Are you okay?” he asks, voice slightly nasal, but so, so gentle. 
“Uhh…” Self conscious, you wipe at the corner of your mouth with your sleeve. You spot your soulmate catch you doing so, and a look of hurt crosses his face. His own reaction, though, seems to startle him, and his hand rises to gently prod his shiny bottom lip with one of his fingers. He looks confused.
Well, that makes two of you.
Taking in the man right in front of you — pretty, lithe, concerned for you despite his unfamiliarity — you fail to answer his question. “Are… you Shin Yejung?”
He lets out a laugh, relieved, maybe, that you're not not okay. “Jeonghan,” he says simply.
You nod. “Jeonghan.”
At your voice echoing his name, the man’s eyes light up. “Yes?”
“Oh, uh…” You weren’t trying to call on him for anything, but as you study his gaze, you find yourself lost in his confident ease. Something in his eyes says that he knew this would happen.
Maybe not this, exactly — your soulmate has found a spot on the floor and has not stopped staring at it, while the rest of the strangers are still watching you — but taking up the same space as you, facing you, smiling at you with a soft quirk at the corners of his lips.
“Ugh!” A woman’s exasperated voice makes you look up at the crowd by the door. “Get— out of the way, you… ugh—” She breaks through, pushing aside a tall guy who looks like he’s about to cry. “—you men!”
Stumbling to her feet, she rights herself and brushes her bangs out of her face with a huff. “Now, what is—” She spots your soulmate still on his ass and mutters something you’re pretty sure can’t be aired on any broadcasting network. “...my life.”
Your eyes meet hers as she takes another breath. “Please tell me you’re Shin Yejung.”
“Yes, we spoke over the phone.”
“Thank god.” Shaking off all the weird feelings you’d accumulated in the last — what? Two minutes? — you stand from the couch and sidestep Jeonghan. The black card fell at some point during that lapse of judgement (aka kiss), so you swipe it up off the floor and hold it out to her with no preamble. “I swear I’m not a stalker fan or anything. And I didn’t use it, so…”
You glance over at Jihoon, whose expression gives off an oncoming panic. Is he scared to see you? Why? Huijun looks just fine, happy even, with you here. You can practically hear the ‘hello’ he wants to say out loud.
You clear your throat. “Anyway, um. I didn’t mean to, uh…” As you nervously cross your arms, you nod towards your soulmate. “I’m his— I mean, we are… sorry. This is… I wasn’t exactly expecting to find the person who’s…”
Maybe you shouldn’t say you’ve been annoyed by your soulmate since you got your stupid mark. At least not while he’s in the room.
“That’s actually what I brought you here to talk about,” Shin Yejung tells you, a bit like a doctor who’s about to deliver the bad news first. She doesn’t even take the card from you. “Would you like to take a seat?”
You scrunch your eyes shut for a second with a little shake of your head, trying to manual reset your brain because clearly it’s still muddled. “Sorry, what? You want to talk about…?”
The mob of men in the room get hidden from your vision as Yejung strategically places herself between them and you. “Soulmates,” she says.
You look down at the black card, then back up at her again. “Soulmates.”
“Yes. Your soulmates. I was hoping to talk to you alone first.” She sends a pointed look at the men behind her. “But it’s not exactly easy to get these guys to lis—”
“Sorry.” You wave a hand in the air to get her to stop, unable to comprehend any of her words after— “Did you say my soulmates? As in… mates, multiple? Mates with an S at the end? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
Remaining calm while your mind spins, Yejung nods. “I know this is a lot to take in.”
“Know what is a lot to take in?”
Yejung opens her mouth to answer, but a voice blurts out behind her, “We’re your soulmates!”
Maybe you haven’t known him long enough or talked to him that many times, but you recognize Jihoon’s voice, and something in your gut suddenly grows sharp. Not painful, but begging for you to feel it. Yejung shifts so your field of view is once again filled by men too pretty to be all in the same room. Jihoon’s standing there, fists clenched at his sides, out of breath for no discernable reason other than…
We’re your soulmates.
Seeing your hesitation, Jihoon huffs and tears a bandaid you never really noticed off the back of his right hand. Even before he completes the motion, you know what must be under the bandage. He holds his hand up, though, and the evidence is very near damning.
Next to him, Huijun smiles and lifts his arm, pointing to his own five lines with his opposite hand. 
Most of the guys behind them show you the same thing. Five lines on the smooth backs of their hands, near the base of the thumb. Dear lord, you don’t even know how many of them there are.
The angry one who pulled the man off of you earlier, at least, just looks lost, like he once had control and now has none. Relatable.
You stumble back a bit. Instinctively, you say, “Songbird?”
Though quite a few of the men seem to perk up at the nickname, only the one you already gave the moniker to truly reacts. Your soulmate — god, one of your soulmates? — looks up at you from the floor and answers, “Yeah?” before realizing he’s even doing it.
“Never mind,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand. “Ms Shin?”
“Yes?” She steps closer, a worried look on her face.
Jeonghan, too, moves toward you with a similar look on his face.
You try to take a steady breath and fail. “I think I’ll take that seat now.”
Swaying backward, your body falls onto the leather couch. 
You hear approximately ten panicked shouts as you go down.
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-AGNOSTHESIA Featuring Scaramouche
Part 2 Part 3
Meaning: The state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your behaviour, as if you were some other person
Word Count: 3.5k~
Description: A study session with Scaramouche gets spicy
Edited By: @pretty-princess-peach
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“Are you deaf or just stupid? I’ve been explaining this to you for over an hour. How do you not understand?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! This class is just really hard, and I haven’t really been able to understand anything from the last few lectures. It's all just gotten so complicated.”
“Isn’t this supposed to be your major? Why did you pick something challenging if you’re too stupid to understand any of it?”
“I’m not too stupid! It’s just a challenging class!”
“Why did you beg me to tutor you if you were just going to waste my time?”
You didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong, nearly every study session the two of you have had ended with an incredibly frustrated Scaramouche and an equally confused you. It’s not that you weren’t trying. You paid attention the best that you could in lectures, and you did all the readings. You even used up most of your free time studying! But regardless, you were still hopeless.
Of course, having Scaramouche as a tutor was supposed to make things easier; he was at the top of the class, after all. However, it almost made things more difficult, given the fact that during your study sessions you were constantly getting distracted by how pretty the man was and how close the two of you were to your bed. You probably enjoyed the insults he threw at you due to your lack of understanding just a bit too much too. But no way would you ever admit to that.
~♡~
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. It was 1:45pm. Your class started at 1:00pm. This was not good. You burst through the doors, immediately drawing everyone's attention and making your professor stop mid sentence. You were mortified. On this particular occasion, you had spent all night studying before dragging yourself to your school's library to continue studying. You had planned to spend your morning studying before your lecture at 1:00pm. You had not planned to fall asleep until 1:25pm and have to run to a whole other building to get to your lecture. You had been spending all your time trying to keep up with your peers in your astrobiology course, but it appears that plan had backfired, as you had already missed half of your class and would need to beg someone for their notes, perhaps an explanation as well. You looked around for a seat, quickly realizing that the only easily accessible spot was near the back next to Scaramouche. Fuck. Scaramouche was the best student in the class, but he was also notoriously unapproachable and impossible to work with. You had been stuck doing a group project with him before, and he had been a controlling nightmare. Ever since then though, he had occasionally spoken to you if you came close enough to insult. You took a deep breath, swallowed your fear, and started up the stairs. The class had continued on in the moments since your interruption, so you didn’t expect Scaramouche to be staring directly at you when you glanced at him on your way to your spot beside him. You looked away and got to your seat as quickly as you could.
“Well, if it isn’t the smartest girl in class.”
You fought the urge to insult him back, but you knew that if you wanted to get any help from him, you couldn’t risk giving him a reason not to help you. You gave him the nicest smile you could muster; he rolled his eyes at your attempt to be nice. You sat down next to him and set up your computer to take notes for the rest of class. After another half hour had passed and you were hopelessly confused, you turned to Scaramouche to ask him for some help.
“Hey, uh, I’m pretty lost; do you think you could give me the notes you took for the first half of the class?”
“Do you really think that’ll help you? It’s not like you even understand the lectures you don’t miss.”
“I understand them!”
“Yeah, sure.”
He turned his attention back to the professor. That’s when you had an idea that might actually work.
“Hey, do you have any spare time that you could maybe use to help me with the work from this class?"
“Do you really think that I would willingly spend my free time tutoring you? Why on earth would I do that?”
You took a deep breath, silently praying that this would work.
“If you agree to tutor me, I’ll give you Kazuha’s number.”
“You’ll what?”
Yes! He was interested.
“I’ll give you Kazuha’s number, and I’ll put in a good word for you with him.”
“Kazuha? As in Kaedehara? Are you serious?”
He was just staring at you, looking very serious. Clearly, this was important to him.
“Yes, I promise.”
Scaramouche chuckled to himself a little before sighing.
“Okay. Text me where your dorm is. I’ll tutor you on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.”
“I uh…don’t have your number.”
“You don’t? I have yours.”
“Yeah that’s because I gave it to you. Just text me and I’ll send you my building and room number, okay?”
“Fine.”
You sighed. Why did he have to be gay?
A few moments later, you got a text that said, “Hey loser”. You sent him your dorm information and a list of what times on those days you were free. And just like that, you had a tutor.
When you eventually talked to Kazuha about Scaramouche and how you had given him his number, Kazuha seemed confused, but after an oddly long stare behind you and a glance at his phone, he seemed to understand what you were trying to tell him.
~♡~
“Are you really this stupid? Or do you just like it when I insult you?”
“I’m not stupid! And don’t pretend like you aren’t getting anything out of this!”
“Right, I get to have you meddling in my love life. How could I forget?”
“You agreed to this! I didn’t make you do anything!”
“No, you just gave me an opportunity to spend time with the person I have feelings for, but only if I spend all my free time trying to teach an idiot her major.”
“I’m not an idiot! Stop saying that!”
“You can’t expect me to sit here and watch you screw things up I didn’t think anyone could possibly screw up and not insult you. You’re practically begging for it.”
You huffed a frustrated sigh and went back to your work while your tutor sat there on his phone. How was all of this so easy for him when you could barely understand any of it? You were working so hard but had nothing to show for it except for low grades and a tutor who is the furthest thing from being into you, who also somehow kept getting you all worked up and needy. Part of you wanted to just tell him to stop coming over so you could get through a study session without getting sexually frustrated. However, you also didn’t want to stop spending time with him…because, uh, because Scaramouche was helping you improve! Not for any other reason. Oh nevermind, who were you trying to fool? You definitely had feelings for him, even though you knew they would never be reciprocated. It wasn’t long before you reached another question that stumped you.
“I’m confused.”
“What else is new?”
“Shut up. Can you help me?”
He stared at you and raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for something. You sighed.
“Please?”
“What’s the question?”
“What is a carbonaceous chondrite?”
“Have you been paying any attention in class? At all?”
“I-”
Scaramouche cut you off.
“Even if you aren’t paying attention in class, you have my notes, and you’ve been asking me endless questions. Wait, I forgot. You’re just an idiot.”
“I’m not an-!”
Once again, he cut you off.
“No, you are. At this point, I’m not even trying to insult you. It’s just a fact.”
“Why?! What did I do that was so dumb?!”
“Do you really want to know?”
“...Yes?”
“Do you remember how you convinced me to be your tutor? Of course you do. You gave me Kazuha’s number. Do you want to know why he was so confused when you told him that? Because I’ve known him since I was a kid; we’re best friends. He only went along with it because I had followed you and was a ways behind you trying to get him to check his messages because I had to send him a text explaining that the girl I have feelings for thinks I’m gay and in love with him, and since he knows how dumb you are, he went along with it for my sake. I honestly thought that you would have figured it out by how nice I’ve been to you ever since we did that project together.”
You couldn’t believe it. Scaramouche has a crush on you, maybe even for as long as you’d had a crush on him. And oh my god you were stupid; he was best friends with Kazuha? How had you missed that?! Oh god, that means Kazuha knew you were stupid too…how did you even make such a big mistake?
“You…like me…? And you’re best friends with Kazuha…? What do you mean you’ve been nice to me ever since our project? You insult me all the time! Even before you started tutoring me, you were mean to me!”
“I talked to you. As far as I’m concerned, that’s nice enough. Anyway, I guess I should be going now huh?”
“Wait uh, you don’t have to go.”
“Oh? Maybe you do like it when I insult you, hm?”
“That isn’t important. I just need you to stay because you promised to tutor me, and I still need help.”
That gave Scaramouche an idea.
“Huh, maybe you just need better motivation to learn…”
He smirked at you before standing up from his spot on your bed and closing the little distance there was from where he had been sitting and where you were seated at your desk. He turned your spinny chair to face him and leaned down so his face was in front of yours and flicked your forehead.
“Hey, dummy, want me to fuck you?”
He laughed quietly at your slack jawed reaction. He stood back to his full height and sat back down on your bed. He gestured for you to come sit on his lap. You stared at him blankly, confident that you had misinterpreted his action.
“Come on now. You’re not really this stupid, are you?”
That was enough confirmation for you. You stood up from your chair and were about to sit down on his lap when he stopped you.
“Take off your clothes.”
He didn’t exactly leave any room for argument, so, as embarrassed as you were, you started taking off your clothes while Scaramouche watched you. You got down to your underwear and stopped, unsure if he wanted you to continue.
“Go on.”
Okay then. You took off your bra and your underwear, now feeling awkward with your tutor sitting in front of you fully clothed. He motioned you forward again and you sat down on his lap. He moved a hand between your legs and ran a finger down your slit before laughing.
“You’re so wet already, I guess you liked those insults more than you let on.”
His comment somehow turned your face redder than it already was. You would have made some kind of argument, however, you suddenly became preoccupied with the feeling of him pushing two of his fingers inside of you and fucking you with them. You couldn’t help but let out a few moans at the feeling. He snickered at the sounds you were making, even going so far as to mock the sound of your moans.
“‘Mmf ah oh fuck mmm haah,’ you sound so pathetic.”
You tried to quiet the sounds you were making, but that only made him more upset.
“Don’t stop. I like hearing you whining like a bitch in heat.”
He pulled his fingers out of you then pushed them past your lips and into your mouth. While you cleaned off his fingers like a good little slut, he used his other hand to undo his pants and pull out his cock. He pulled his fingers from your mouth and lined you up over his cock before bringing you down onto it. You heard him suck in a breath and let out a chuckle.
“Hah, shit, you feel good.”
You could only let out a whine in response. He bottomed out inside of you. After you took a few moments to adjust, you tried to lift yourself up, but found you couldn’t move an inch with the tight grip your tutor had on your hips.
“Wha…?”
“You said that you needed me to stay to tutor you, so, I’m here to tutor you.”
Was he seriously going to try to tutor you while he had you sitting on his cock? No, this couldn’t actually be happening.
“But…but I can’t…”
“You will. I’m just giving you some extra motivation.”
He smirked at you once again.
“What role do supernovae play in the origin, evolution, and development of life?”
You couldn’t think. You were far too preoccupied with the feeling of his cock deep inside of you.
“I don’t… I don’t know, I can’t…”
“Come on, you answered this correctly last week.”
Had you? Part of you thought he was lying to you just to make you feel stupider.
“I don’t know it…”
Your response came out as a whine.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure!”
One of his hands moved away from your waist. For a moment you wondered what he was doing, but then you felt a hard slap come down on your ass.
“Ahh! What…? Why did you?”
“You need some consequence for your stupidity.”
You tried to clear your head for the next question.
“Why is it more likely that we will find prokaryotes rather than eukaryotes when we finally explore Europa, Enceladus, or Mars?”
“I don’t know Scara-”
Suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your cheek. Did he slap you?
“I don’t want my name in the mouth of a worthless slut like you.”
He paused for a second.
“Did you just get tighter? You really are slut.”
You blushed and looked away from him. You didn’t want to admit it, but you really were enjoying yourself. However, the fact that your tutor still wasn’t fucking you was driving you insane. You prayed that soon enough he would get bored tormenting you and finally fuck you.
“Instead of calling me by my name, why don’t you just call me master, hmm?”
“Okay…”
“Okay what?”
“Okay master…”
“Aw, so the slut can be good! Well, since you’re so stupid, I’ll give you an easy question next. What substances are emitted from cryovolcanoes?”
Oh thank god, you actually knew this one.
“Water, ice, ammonia, nitrogen, and methane…right?”
He just watched you for a moment with a little smile while doubt started to build in your mind.
“That’s correct. But it really was such an easy question, maybe I should continue teaching you…”
“Please Sca- master…”
“Oh? What are you asking for?”
“I want you to fuck me…please…”
He watched you for a few moments, contemplating his decision.
“Beg.”
“What?”
“Beg, and I’ll fuck you. I won’t ask again.”
There was no way you were going to beg Scaramouche to fuck you. That would be humiliating. But if it would get him to fuck you…no. You weren’t that desperate for him, were you? However, all of your reasoning flew out the window when Scaramouche lifted you up his cock and dropped you back down.
“Fuck please master, fuck me, I need it so bad, need to feel you wreck me, want you to use me however you want, please!”
“However I want, hmm?”
Before you could reply, he had lifted you off of his cock and moved you so you were on your hands and knees. He got up from his spot and knelt behind you.
“But master I wanna- mmf!”
Your tutor pushed your head into the pillows.
“Stupid little sluts don’t get to touch me or watch me fuck them.”
With that, he pushed his cock back into you. God, why did he feel so big? He’s short, so why does it feel like he’s in your fucking throat from this angle?
“And arch your fucking back, whore.”
You did as he asked, and all you got in response was him letting out a little laugh. He started fucking you slow but deep, and you couldn’t help the moans that were escaping your lips, but thankfully, they were muffled by the pillows, so he could barely hear them. Fuck, this felt so good. The fact that he tortured you before getting here didn’t even matter anymore, as long as he could make you feel like this.
Before too long, you could feel an orgasm approaching, and though you tried to let him know, the pillows obstructing your mouth caused your warning to come out as, “mhmhfm hm hmhm hmm!” and your tutor continued to ignore you. Eventually however, you felt yourself start to tip over the edge. You really did try to tell Scaramouche, but he just wouldn’t listen. He was far too wrapped up in the feeling of fucking you. When you finally tipped over the edge, Scaramouche stopped moving entirely, effectively giving you a very shitty orgasm. He grabbed your hair and hauled you up to him so he could talk to you without pillows getting in the way.
“Did you just fucking cum without asking, princess?”
His voice was sickeningly sweet, and you were terrified of what would come next. He twisted the hair he had grabbed making you cry out.
“Hmmm how should I punish you? Dumb sluts like getting spanked, don’t they?”
You shook your head the best you could with how he had your hair.
“Aw, of course they do.”
He pushed your face back into the pillows and let go of your hair. There was a moment of silence as you waited for what would come next. You felt a sharp pain as his hand came down on your ass. Was he this strong before? You were confident that there would be a red handprint on your ass now. He landed another smack, causing you to emit a little yelp. He continued your punishment until you were shaking and crying. Finally, he decided he was done and wrapped a hand around your throat before once again hauling you upright. He moved his lips next to your ear.
“Don’t try to act like you didn’t like that. I could feel how tight you were.”
You blushed, but before you could respond to him, he started fucking you again, this time hard and fast. Fuck, how did he feel even deeper in you now? He reached a hand around to play with your clit. Fuck, were you going to cum a second time?
“Can I cum? Please, need to so bad.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely.”
Instead of stopping like you had expected, he kept fucking you, and within a few seconds, he had you seeing stars. He kept going this time, fucking you through your orgasm. However, he didn’t stop when you were done. He kept going, looking to reach his own end.
“Do you want master to fill you up with his cum? Hmm? Is that what you want?”
“Fuck, yes please, please!”
Scaramouche leaned in to whisper in your ear.
“No.”
“What?”
Suddenly, he let go of you before pushing you back down and flipping you over before finishing on your stomach. Fuck, you were glad you got to see that at least.
“Worthless little whores don’t deserve to be filled with my cum.”
After he said that, some switch seemed to flip in his brain, and he got up to go search for a cloth to clean you up with. He returned and sat next to you on the bed, wiping the cum off of your stomach.
“Are you okay…?”
You were amazed. He looked like a concerned puppy. Was this really the same guy that was telling you how worthless you were a second ago?
“Uh, yeah, I’m alright.”
You stared back at him. But after your confirmation, he seemed to go back to his usual self.
“So uh, does this mean anything…?”
“What?”
“I understand if it doesn’t. It’s okay, I get it. I was just-”
He flicked your forehead.
“Did u miss the part where I told you I have feelings for you? Why would this mean nothing? God, you really are stupid.”
Yep, definitely back to his usual self.
“Wait, so does that mean you wanna like, date?”
He let out a big sigh.
“I suppose I’m willing to have an idiot for a girlfriend.”
“Fine, then I’m willing to have an asshole for a boyfriend!”
He rolled his eyes at you and let out a little laugh before laying down in bed next to you. You didn’t realize how tired you were until you had your head resting on Scaramouche’s chest, and before too long, you had fallen asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
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Tag List: @lilia-sspouse @but-a-peach @stannazuna @yourlocal-bunny @lordbugs @randomlycockroach @licensedsimp @leena-shi @cesimaaa @welpthisisfine @dainself-when-playable @fic-rebloga
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morbific-or-felicific.
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dizscreams · 1 year
Note
Hii hii can I request a Jack Champion × actress reader where they react on some edits Abt the two of them in an interview and then one ship edit Abt them came out thank you so much
++ I luv your writing so much some times I go overboard by liking all of them sorry Abt that Have a great day/night
ur so sweet anon ty :( <3 I hope I understood this right 😭
Mesmerized — Jack Champion ★
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PAIRING: Jack Champion x gn!reader
TAGS: @beary-rambles @ashlesys-blog @wekiamo @wenvierismycomfort @aesthetixhoe @mbankfav @aqellano @dizzyscreams @c8rdigan @teyamsgirll @evanpeterswifeyy868
A/N: he’s so bf like he’s literallyy my bf?! I love my bf!! bf!! he’s so this song!!
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The producers for the interview you were doing didn’t tell you what the interview would be about. Both you and Jack just assumed it was a normal interview until you had to do the intro for the video. ‘Action!’
You wave, “Hi I’m y/n l/n!” Jack follows you and waves as well, “And I’m Jack Champion.” You both share a smile before quickly looking back at the camera, “And today we are going to be reacting to edits of ourselves.” Jacks eyes widen a bit before nodding slightly, “Lets do it.” “Lets do it,” you repeat.
Someone gives you a phone and tells you all you need to do is scroll and give commentary. “Jack, do you ever look at edits of yourself?” You ask him before clicking on the first video, you pause it before it starts to hear Jacks answer. “Uhh sometimes,” he laughs, “When I’m bored, or they’ll randomly appear on my for you page. What about you?” You smile a bit, “Same here. I also get tagged in a lot of them.” “Oohh yeah me too.”
“Shall we start?” You ask shaking the phone a little.
“We shall,” Jack responds with finger guns. You chuckle and start the first video, it’s an edit of Jack. It was of his Scream 6 character, Ethan Landry. Jack was blushing slightly when you had looked over at him. You giggled when the video ended, “Soo what’d you think?” He giggled with you, “People are really talented. I will say though I wasn’t expecting so many people to love Ethan. Especially because of.. the movie,” he said slowly.
You hum, “The movies been out a while I think you can say it.” He looks at you and then back at the camera, “I didn’t expect many people to love my character in Scream 6 because he’s a psychopathic murderer who chases people in a Ghostface mask,” He says in an accent and claps his hands together. You cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh. “Alright let’s move on, next!” Jack says smiling.
“Okay, here you can take the phone this time,” you tell him handing the phone to him. He takes it and scrolls down to the next edit, “I think it’s of you,” he whisper yells. You recognize the clip used as one in an interview you did only about a week ago. Jack looked at the video and then looked back at you while grinning. He seemed to be enjoying this a little too much, but you didn’t mind.
“Aw I liked that one,” you spoke up first.
“Me too,” Jack says as he stared at you. He liked the outfit you chose to wear today, he always admired your sense of style. He also liked the way you did your hair, it framed your face nicely. “Jack?” He cleared his throat, “Yeah? What?” You let out a confused laugh, “Were you listening?” His face turned red at the question, “uhhh-” You shake your head with a smile, “It’s okay, next edit!” You stick out your hand, signaling for him to give you the phone and he just looks at it.
You shake your hand and nod towards the phone a bit trying to be more clear and he tilts his head. You look at him and he looks like a lost puppy with his big brown eyes boring into yours. You smile a bit and lower your voice, “The phone, Jack.” “OH! Right yeah here,” he stumbles over his words as he hands you the phone. The light pink blush dusting his cheeks once again making him look even cuter than before.
“Okay and here we go,” you mutter. The video plays and at first it’s clips of Jack, you can recognize where some of the clips are from. A lot of them are from Avatar interviews, which makes sense. But then there’s clips of you and that causes your eyebrows to knit together slightly. Just a friendly edit, you presumed, but at the end of the video there’s a clip of you and Jack together.
It’s a clip from a little behind the scenes of Scream 6. The small moment was of Jack putting his arm around you while you were both in the backseat of a bus going to set that day. You smiled at the memory and the video came to an end, “That was cute.” He nodded in agreement, he had the same stupid smile on his face, “Yeah.” You took a peak at the comments, all of them were ship comments.
“They’d be so cute together!”
“Are we sure they aren’t dating?”
“The way they look at each other 🥹”
“I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE”
“There’s no way they aren’t dating”
Your smile got bigger and you handed Jack the phone with a quiet, “Your turn.”
The interview went on for a couple more minutes until they were satisfied with the length that the video would be. Then, it was time for the outro. “I’m y/n l/n,” Jack said and you followed his lead, “And I’m Jack Champion.”
“And you’re watching Disney Channel!”
“That’s not it, Jack-“
“And you’re watching Buzzfeed Celeb!”
“There you go. Thank you so much for watching..”
“And make sure to leave a like for more content like this,” he said finishing your sentence in a British accent.
“Cut! That was great, guys.”
You looked at Jack only to find him already looking at you, “You wanna go get lunch?” He asked already standing. “Of course.” You guys made your way out of the filming room and he made sure nobody was looking before he grabbed your hand, giving it a kiss,
“You don’t know how hard it was for me to stay quiet about our relationship. You looked so good, I just wanted to brag about how you were mine the whole time,” he said while pulling you in for a hug. You giggling and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss, “We’ll tell them soon, babe.”
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planete777 · 9 months
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꒰ RED LINES .:. LN4 ꒱
( lando norris x fem!reader )
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IN WHICH. y/n finds her fate hidden within two red lines, and fears the demise of her and lando's relationship. [based on this ask]
pt. 2 .:. 'red hearts'!
WARNINGS. pregnant!reader, both her and lando aren't ready so there are discussions about potential abortions, mental break downs (i.e panic attacks, crying, you know the drill), angst, mentions of throwing up (no one does it i promise), attachment issues (like me fr), a little bit of fluff (because im not that evil >:])
NOTE. first non-high!lando fic!! i've never written a pregnancy fic, so like, forgive me if it's bad haha 🥲 i put so much effort into my banner, like i'm so proud of it lmao. anyways, enjoy reading luvs 💗
SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any high!lando thoughts, scenarios and requests, or any other trope too 🤍
edited to add tag in banner
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y/n is almost blinded by it.
two bold, red lines.
she finds it completely comical how she didn't know it sooner, for the ink that runs down the result window is so palpable, it might as well have been written with a permanent marker.
the test taunts and mocks her as she stares at it in complete despair and confusion as she so sure that they had been careful. but now, she lets herself cry over spilt milk because having a baby, on top of mountainous piles of stress that came hand-in-hand with uni, was not a checkbox she would've liked to tick off amidst her status quo.
the bathroom pounds with an deafeningly eerie silence, as she stares, and stares, then blinks as tears flow, then stares again. her ears are swallowed by loud static and her vision fuzzes around the edges, making the test in her hand seem further away than it actually is, and she allows herself to completely fade out.
she feel utterly sick. like she wants to throw up, but the upcoming bile, instead, remains dislodged in her throat and presses immense weight into her chest. it shortens her breaths, she's hyperventilating as if she's been strangled, then panic completely overwhelms her. everything before her zooms in and out like a malfunctioning camera and the pregnancy test clatters to the ground as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.
she doesn't remember the last time she had a panic attack this severe, and neither does she know if she'll get over it solus. yearn for a presence beside her devours her brain and she wishes that lando–
lando.
the way her heart seems to squeeze in her chest is almost too animalistic to be normal, and it arrives at the thought of him being unacceptable of the baby. he's barely situated in one place, fuck, he basically travels for a living, and all her mind conjures is how he won't be there when she needs him most. she tries to wish it away, because just thinking about her makes her spiral even more and she knows she cannot survive with a child whose father decides to be absent.
codependency isn't great, that she's thoroughly aware of, but lando's presence brings a wave of comfort braided in the brightness of his smiles and the warmth of his embrace, and it has become her whole lifeline.
yet, the bathroom she's in feels too small and too cold to be anything other than unbearable, and her body feels to weak to remain upright, sliding down to the tiled floor. she sobbing and spluttering so much that lando can hear it from two rooms down, and he rushes into the en suite without a thought in mind.
he crouches down in front of her, hands flush against the skin of her cheeks. he's shaking, fucking terrified out of his wits, and his words are enunciated with a tremble.
"hey, hey, y/n breathe with me," he desperately takes her hands into his, and places it on his own chest, making exaggerated breaths as y/n's start to simmer. it feel like hours stretch by, the air surrounding feels tense with fear and devastation, and by the time she settles, y/n senses nothing but exhaustion.
"what's wrong, love? you're scaring me," lando gently asks, and she struggles to respond, mouth rid of any moisture as if it had been scraped dry. lando takes the initiative to look around in hopes that anything would give him a clue to his girlfriend's break down.
then he freezes.
the white stick lays there, gleaming and glowing like it's fucking sent from heaven, and he feels his heart plummet into the depths of his guts. he knows he can deny it all he wants, but it's undeniable, what he's seeing, yet prays like a grieving mother that what he thinks is not true as his quivering hands reaches for it.
two bold, red lines.
"oh fuck," it punches out of him, every inch of energy disperses like fleeing birds, "you're pregnant?"
it's so small, so timid that he almost doesn't see it, but she nods, and his arms fall like he's been shot and the test leaves his fingers. he swears he's drenched in ice cold water and he remains silent, bound by stunned numbness. his lack of response spurs y/n again, and she begins sobbing, pressing her face into her arms and wiping it furiously. all she thinks is that he doesn't want it, and out of sheer terror, she starts rambling utter shit.
"i can get rid of it, if you want, lando, just please i'm begging you, don't leave me."
he's crying himself now, doesn't know what to feel at the suggestion, but it makes him gag.
"get rid of it if i want to? fucking hell y/n, i'm not a prick like that," he fumbles out, words wet and hardly cohesive, "as long as you want to keep it, i want the baby too."
she looks up at him, eyes so full of hope that he immediately takes her into his arms.
"you sure, lando?" she's still hesitant, burying her head into his chest, and as further reassurance, he kisses her forehead, "as sure as i'll ever be."
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voidpumpkin · 1 year
Text
A Guide For New Users Fleeing From Twitter, From A User Who Needed One When They First Started:
Hi to everyone fleeing from twitter, Elon Musk is shit and he already has had an actively harmful effect on the site, one that will only get worse. So, welcome to Tumblr, it can be kind of intimidating, given its reputation and how many different features there are, I was certainly confused and intimidated when I first logged on and as I'm active on both I sympathise with y’all, so here’s a guide to anyone new:
Put your hashtags in the hashtag section. This is the only way they’ll actually have any sort of effect, or appear when you search for something. Don’t post them on the post itself.
There is a character limit for hashtags and a quite high hashtag limit. Go wild. Writing entire speeches is common. 
Don’t tag lots of unrelated stuff to your posts, that’ll get you reported for Spam and just hated in general
Don’t censor words, users are fine with swearing, doing so especially with triggering content makes it hard for people to limit their exposure to said triggering content.
There’s no such thing as ratioing.
We don’t have quote retweeting, every reblog, comment, etc counts to op’s post. They can see it all, and will be notified depending on their notification settings.
Change your icon, people will think you’re a bot if you use the default.
Give yourself a bio, it’ll make you look like a person.
Follow people and tags, that’s the only way you’re gonna see the content you wanna see. The foryoupage isn’t to be trusted.
Actually reblog stuff, liking has no effect, reblogging is the only important thing here as there is no like based algorithm. Doing so will also make you appear human.
You can hide your likes and who you’re following. Doing so is not frowned upon in the slightest.
You can block tags, similarly to muting words on twitter.
You can have multiple blogs tied to one account. 
You can customise your blog, go wild.
There is no word limit, you can write as you want. But if it gets too long make use of the keep reading feature, (the three dots beside the add gif feature)
There is an image limit of thirty, up from the former ten, though for some they may be stuck at only using ten, tumblr is kinda inconsistent. If you want to add more you’ll have to reblog your own post. 
There is no reblogging limit when it comes to a post, though there is a daily posting limit, go wild, only your followers will be upset.
You can have videos, gifs and pictures in the same post.
You can just post audio.
Adult content is still banned, but actual moderation and enforcement is spotty, especially if it’s written. 
Spam liking and reblogging isn’t a thing. Go wild.
You have an ask box that people can submit stuff to. You can respond or just delete the post. You can remove anon capability from it (which will get rid of most of the hate), or outright bar it.
You can’t private your account but you can restrict commenting and reblogging. Edit: I’ve been informed that you can in fact make your blog password protected, it’s just that it’s a rarely done thing and not widely known.
Block whoever and whenever, it’s not a big deal. Though if someone you’ve blocked has reblogged and added to a post and someone you follow reblogs that, their commentary will still be included in the post you see.
We don’t have muting, only blocking.
Yes, direct messaging is a thing (it’s the little smiley face)
The only way to promote your is through ‘tumblr blaze’, you pay a certain amount of money and your post will be promoted, but not targeted, so no invasions of privacy. You are subject to the employee’s whims on whether or not it gets promoted and unfortunately hate speech has been allowed.
Tumblr has tendency to hide/consume comments, posts and asks, don’t be surprised if they go missing.
Tumblr searching a blog relies on tags, words in the post and the users name, keep that in mind.
Posts will remain after you delete your account or the original post if they have been reblogged.
Years old posts are still circulating and that is considered normal.
You can queue up posts to be released when you’re not using your account. Or you can just post whenever you’re active. Go wild.
Wizards exist and are very popular on this site. Accept it.
There are posts with no notes that will never gain any more than a sing note for your like. Accept it.
There are posts will no op. Accept it.
Trans and autistic people dominate this site.
Don’t get pissy when someone tags a post ‘tw (insert slur)’, or any trigger warning for that matter, most are just being considerate of their followers who may be triggered by such content.
Twitter discourse is regularly mocked, it’s not gonna fly here.
No, we don’t call each other oomfs, or anything like that. We just have mutuals.
Tumblr in general lacks a lot colloquialisms that began on twitter.
We do have ‘blorbo’ ‘poor little meow meow’ etc.
Trying to go viral or trying to corporate is frowned upon.
Tumblr has a tendency to blacklist things tagged like ‘crowdfunding’ so bring that kind of logic you use for twitter posts over to tumblr.
We don’t have twitter circles, co-posting, etc.
Tumblr is surprisingly good at recommending blogs.
There are no verified accounts, and your follower count isn't visible. This is a good thing, trying to change it will get you laughed at.
People are going to just make up stuff, don’t believe everything you see and if it’s a claim about someone, investigate it rather than just believe it.
You can edit your posts after you’ve posted them, but the versions reblogged before said changes will still circulate. This editing of the original has been used as a spruce of comedy
If your worried about people seeing your potentially triggering, or even graphic content and they haven’t blocked the tags you’ve used you can use the keeping reading feature to put the content under the cut and post a warning at the top.
And this is quite important:
Stay anonymous and have fun. There isn’t an expectation to constantly expose inner details of your life, you aren’t expected to use your real face, your real name, age, etc. You’re not even expected to be truthful here. Exist however you wanna exist and have fun, that should be the point of social media. 
Also keep in mind that tumblr has its own distinct culture that is going to take some getting used to. As well as a history any user who’s been here a while will at least somewhat understand.
Also I'll be editing the post with additional info and corrections provided to me.
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prettyboykatsuki · 7 months
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VIOLET | RAZOR. (GENSHIN)
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✾ tags ; afab + gn!reader, aged-up characters, virginity loss/first times, established relationship, mutual virginity loss, nipple play, fingering, oral (f!recieving), creampies (reader is using a contraceptive), reader is mentioned to be an orphan / run away , 18+
✾ wc ; 6.1k (went to edit and went 700 words over the wc. pain)
✾ a/n ; i'm losing my mind btw. razor my only triple crowned character my most greatly beloved my angel my sweet. also i added the aged up tag mostly bc its the genshin fandom but. if u dont like that dont read. ez peazy.
also trust and believe the voice im picturing in this is his jpn dub. this is important
✾ synopsis ; you resolve yourself after many long years of abstinence, you're going to ask razor about sex the minute he comes home.
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Razor is human. 
On a technical level, this information isn’t news to you. He looks human. His physical makeup is human. He needs to eat and sleep like humans do. Focusing on the technicals alone, Razor is very, very human.
It doesn’t change that he was raised by wolves, though. And you don’t want it too. You think it’d be a shame if he started to assimilate too much into human society just because he felt like he had too. You know how he feels about it. And that Boreas is the closest he’s ever had to a father figure, thus making his claim about Razor's humanity a rather devastating blow. He feels inhuman all while knowing he is. You think once upon a time, he really did wish to be a wolf. 
You’ve known Razor since you were a teenager. You’d ended up in Wolvendom after your exploration of Teyvat led you to its outskirts. You’d bonded over your similarities. Two orphans with no real place where they fit in completely and complete odd-ball personalities - Razor was an easy friend for you to make. Even when you eventually decided to settle into Mondstat - you’d made a point to visit Razor regularly and spend time with him in the forest. 
You made an odd pair of course, but you didn’t mind. If no one else understood you in the world - you know Razor always would. He’d listen patiently about all of your adventures and sit quietly as you decided to pester him by braiding his hair or teaching him new words. Loyal, obedient, sweet.
You never formally had the boyfriend conversation in the time you’d spent together. One day, however, Razor took you to meet Boreas out of the blue as well as the leader of his pack. You figured maybe it was something he did with his close friends. It only occurred to you that maybe this was a more serious meeting when Razor promptly gestured towards you and introduced you as his mate. 
Razor, predictably, was very confused about your minor freak out. You tried not to let it show during your little chit-chat, but afterwards you’d shaken him by the shoulders and interrogated him about his word choice. This of course didn’t register in his mind at all. According to Razor, you’d been his mate since long ago. He’d been courting you since the moment you met in the way wolves are known too. You’re an adventurer, well-versed in certain animal behaviors for the sake of survival, including wolves. 
And looking back on your interactions he was right,  Razor had been courting you from the start. The news made you flush, and you went back into Razors camp and thoroughly educated him on human courting rituals.
(“Why matter?” Razor asks, head laid in your lap while he looks up at you from inside the tent “Not important.” 
“Why would it not be important?” 
He turns towards you, head facing your stomach as one arm lazily wraps around your waist. He yawns sleepily, seemingly not worried about a thing. 
“You are mate. Mate last until death.” He explains, casually - like he’d always believed he’d spend every minute of his life with you. Like that was the only natural outcome for you both and that he’d never consider anything else. You want to explain, it’s different for humans. Humans don’t usually mate that way, you should say. But the words die out in your mouth as he clings closer to you “Sorry for..not asking.. properly. What are we…as humans?” 
You look down at where he lays, thumb brushing over his cheek. 
“Lovers or life partners. They’re closest to the word mate, in definition.” 
“Lovers easier,” He grumbles, eyebrows tightening at the complex words in your sentence “You want to be lovers with Razor?” 
You laugh. Light and bubbly and warm as you lean forward and try to mask the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. 
“Yes. We’re lovers from now on. And mates. And lupical, right?” 
Razor sighs contentedly into your midriff.
“And lupical.”)
According to Razor, you had been mates from the minute you met. According to your human timeline, you have been dating since you were both around 17. It’s been a long time since then and nothing in your relationship has changed.
You’re an adult now and you work with the city of Mondstat studying wildlife populations. You live in the city in a cottage, and Razor lives with you - though he spends most of his day outside. He does the domestic labor while you whittle away at papers and projects. Because of your job, you still spend a fair bit of time together in the wild. He has plenty of insight about the wildlife in Wolvendom and is keen enough on changes to give significant contribution to your study. His work as your partner is unofficial, but everyone acknowledges that you come together in a set. Where you go, Razor follows.
You’re happy with your life. With your relationship to your wolf-boy boyfriend, with the career you’ve carved out of scratch and the life you’ve built. You left your orphanage young and spent a long time on the run. You’re incredibly thankful for all of what you have and you could never think of what more to ask for. 
This is especially true for you and Razor. You’ve never had any real major obstacles in your relationship. Part of this comes from the wolven habit of mating for life. Concepts like pride are foreign to Razor. He says sorry even when he doesn’t completely understand and he has no concept of betraying your loyalty. Most things you can teach, he learns very quickly. But there are also some things no one ever teaches you to navigate. Some boundaries you can’t be sure you’re allowed to cross. 
You’re a blossoming, healthy person in their twenties and so is Razor. He’s scarred and athletic in the outdoorsy way and he’s a little more rugged now that you’ve both grown. He’s hit a growth spurt and he’s taller than you and every time you see his arm flex carrying in an entire boar to butcher in your yard - you start getting so hot under the collar you feel like you’re going to explode. 
The problem is: you want to have sex and you want to have it badly. You want it so bad it’s starting to make you feel like you’re a deviant. Like you’re some kind of harlot masquerading as an archon-fearing civilian.
But it’s so hard to bring up and you don’t know how you’re ever going too. 
You’re very good at asking for what you want usually. It comes with the territory. And thanks to your boyfriend's cluelessness about human social convention, asking for things isn’t embarrassing. Concepts like shame are learned through a lifetime of socialization that he lacks and while you could sit and try to teach him - you don’t think he would care either way. He listens if you tell him he shouldn’t do something, but that’s because you’re his mate and his lupical. 
What other people think is none of his concern. He cares about his Lupical. So if Lisa or Bennet or Klee tell him something, he might take it into consideration. But they, like you, love the parts of Razor that make him how he is and his complete innocence in some ways is part of that. 
You know you could very well ask Razor for sex. You’ve spent a lot of time together and you’ve learned many things about him. It’s not like there’s nothing there at all. Like his every other trait, Razor normally relies on instinct to guide him. You’ve learned through kisses and dry-humping that he can get hard at least. You’ll probably never know the details of his arousal, and the only you’ll ever find out is by having sex with him. 
You don’t know what else he knows. What Lisa has told him of the birds and the bees. 
You have tried to ask Lisa inadvertently, but she enjoys making fun of you too much to give you any straightforward answers. And in her own maternal way, she thinks it’d be better for your relationship if you go ahead and ask yourself. 
She’s right about that, but it’s also not very easy. You know Razor would never judge you. He doesn’t even have the capacity to do so. But while Razor knows nothing of shame, you certainly do. 
It’s your problem to get over. You know that. You rationalize that your fantasies are healthy and normal for someone your age. But there is something terribly humiliating about trying to express the extent of your desire apart from just having it. Is it fair to teach Razor about desire? Does he know of it already and the both of you just suffer in silence? 
Razor is a man. A grown man, and tougher than most men you know. He’s seen more than almost anyone else as part of living in the woods. You know he’s not some innocent fairy. But you can’t get over the feeling like you’re corrupting his sweet preciousness somehow. 
(This has its own charm, but that’s not relevant. Or maybe it is. Maybe there’s guilt for that too but it’s not something you can unpack) 
You’re reaching your upper limit on patience. Your hand can only do the job so long (though the import of sex toys from Fontaine do help) nothing can truly replace what you want. And what you want is Razor.
So, you’ve made your choice. When Razor comes home from…what he’s doing today - you’re going to ask him to have sex.
__
You’ve finished all of your work, did as many chores as you can, and now you’re waiting in your bedroom trying to read a book.
You haven’t even read past the first page, actually. But you’re trying. It’s hard to do anything meaningful when your brain keeps pivoting back to what's going to happen when your boyfriend returns home. 
You’re nervous and fidgeting, rubbing your socked feet together and running over the laundry list of talking points you’ve concocted trying to make this happen. You shaved but not bare because you know he definitely wouldn’t like it, but you’re clean. You aren’t sure if he’s going to like that either and he’s expressed that he likes when you smell natural. But it soothed your anxiety to shower so he’ll have to leave with it. 
You have no idea how this could go. You don’t even know how to prepare for the worst, because you don’t know what the worst is. But you reassure yourself with the fact Razor loves you and leave it at that.
You hear the door open and take a deep breath. 
There’s heavy footsteps that get louder and louder. Razor cracks the door open politely, peeking his head into your shared room. He makes a face, the softest little smile you’ve ever seen - before letting himself in and shutting the door behind him. He’s quick to undress himself - jacket and scarf abandoned along with his boots. Leaving him in green pants and a bandage around his chest and arsm. 
“Hi,” He says simply, coming down over to where you’re laid. He chooses to sit on the floor, folding his arms on the bed as he looks at you patiently “Missed you,” 
“Hey there,” Your heart is pounding just looking at him. He’s unreasonably handsome. Had he grown up in normal conditions, you think he would’ve been a very popular loner type. “How was your family?” 
“Good,” He says shortly, eyes warm and light “New pup. First time seeing since I was little. Very small and cute.” 
“I’m glad. Bet it’s nice not to be the youngest anymore.” 
“Come next time,” He says genuinely “They miss you.” 
Your heart is so full you think it might burst. It temporarily soothes your anxiety.
“Of course I will.” 
Razors eyes examine you for a minute. Your heart is still racing. Of course he notices it. He knows much more about you than you’ll ever know about yourself. His brow creases in concern. 
“What’s wrong?” 
You look at him apologetically, immediately warmed by how worried he is. You give him a small smile. 
“I’m okay. Just a little nervous. Wanted to ask you about something.” 
“Okay. I listen. No need to..be nervous.” 
Right. He’s right about that. You sit up and Razor remains where he is. He’s seated comfortably on the floor, on his knees - between your thighs. He’s a sight for sore eyes, terribly rugged and scarred with nothing but honesty settled in his gaze. Carmine and beautiful. You fold your hands in your lap and before you can worry too much, Razor grabs one in his hand. 
He kisses your knuckles so gently, leaning his face into your palm. 
“It’s okay.” 
You figure it’s best to be straight to the point. 
“Uhm. Razor. Do you…know what sex is?” 
“Yes.” 
“Well, it’s—wait what? Did you just say yes?” 
He nods again. “Miss Lisa taught me.” 
That witch. You take a deep breath. It’s now or never.
“And uhm, what did she tell you about it?” You ask tentatively. 
“Like mating but for humans. Best to do with mate. Good to be careful or else pups will come too soon.” 
You stare at him, jaw slack. 
“Right. And what else?” 
He racks his brain right in front of you. 
“Uhm. Can be for…feel good. Should go slow. Lots of things different from wolf.” 
“...Do you know how it happens? The specifics?” 
Razor goes a soft pink. Razor blushes. 
“Yes.” 
You have no idea what to feel. Not the faintest clue in the world. This is the first time in your entire relationship either of you have been in an awkward situation. You’re partially relieved it’s not completely foreign, partially feeling hot between the legs because you’re not corrupting anything. You make a face of uncertainty. 
“Oh. Uhm. Do you—have you ever.. I mean—have you ever wanted to have sex with me then? I-is that something you’d…want to do?” 
Razor almost looks perplexed by this question. He nods, then follows up. 
“Yes. A lot.” 
You nearly choke on your spit. 
“A lot?” 
“Yes. But.. Miss Lisa said to wait. Until mate asks.” 
You’re going to have a serious discussion with that damned woman later. You take a shaky breath, looking at him carefully. This is going to break you in a way you don’t know if you’ll recover from. But you’re fine, you’ve made it this far. And you don’t want to back down when you haven’t gotten to the finish line. The final blow. 
You’re not completely sure where you go from here honestly. Your brain was fully expecting to go on a long rant about sexual intercourse. Now that that’s out of the window, you’re at a loss. You decide, internally, that going straight forward is the best thing you could do for now. 
“Then… would you want to have sex with me?” 
His eyes widen then he pauses, looking worried. 
“Well…yes. But, worried. Not sure…how.” 
“Well, uhm. Normally it starts with kissing and t-touching and things like that. You can just do what feels right. Uhm.. and I’ll tell you… what I like. A-and what feels good.” You offer, trying not to show just how nervous you are even suggesting “But uhm… I also… think about it. A lot. With you.” 
His eyes light up, and you can practically see the change in him. You’ve never let yourself get close enough to look but when you see him now that you know, it’s obvious. He’s looked at you like this before. 
Like he wants you. 
“Razor,” You say, bracing yourself for impact “Come up here.” 
He’s quick to his feet. You lay back down and Razor lays himself ontop of you, hovering gently. He smells like forest, the rich warm scent of dirt and sunlight mixed with sweat that you’ve grown fond of. Looking down at you, he presses his forehead against yours with his eyes fluttered closed. 
“Mate,” His breath is warm like he’s been chewing mint leaves and sweet flowers. He does it sometimes before coming home “Love you,” 
“I love you too, Razor. You don’t,” You swallow thickly, suddenly aware of your proximity “Don’t hold back okay? You won’t break me.” 
“Want to..” He thinks slowly, brain clearly struggling to come up with the right word “Cherish. Want to cherish mate. Cherish you.” 
You give him a breathy laugh as he leans in close to you. 
“Did Miss Lisa teach you that?”
“Yes,” He replies, pressing his cheek to yours and rubbing himself against you innocently “Cherish you a lot.” 
“I cherish you a lot too,” You offer and he smiles. You feel your heart thump as you look up at him less innocently “Let’s kiss first, okay” 
He doesn’t reply. This much is familiar. Though this was something you had to teach him at first, you would go as far as saying Razor kisses better than you. He’s better than you in these ways most of the time. He knows how to read your body language down to the most irrelevant details, attuned to your physicality in a way that could only be inhuman. The first time he noticed a change in your cycle after starting some herbal contraceptives, you were turned on as much as you were afraid. 
His mouth is hot and overwhelming, plush as he kisses you passionately. He’s quick to open your mouth up with his tongue. Razor likes to taste. It’s natural for him to slip his tongue past your lips and lick at yours. You think if anyone else did it you’d be turned off. But with him hovering you over you, desperate as he pulls and nips at your lower lip - it’s stimulating.  It makes you wet before you can think about it too hard. Your hands curl themselves around his neck, tangling at the thick roots of his gray hair. 
He moans when you tug, and your eyes nearly pop out of your sockets. You do it again, a little harder and the same broken sound leaves his lips in the middle of kiss. You swallow the noise before pulling away, looking at his face. His face is perfectly rosy, lips swollen from where you’ve been kissing them.
“Did you,” You look at him erratically, eyes going over every part of his face “Did that feel good?” 
He nods, dumbfounded. 
“Felt good but,” He shakes his head in disbelief “Don’t know why.” 
You giggle, delighted with the outcome. 
“No it’s good, that’s normal.” You say trying not to babble “It’s like your body’s weak point.”
“Not weak.”
“It’s not a bad thing. I have some too. Like my neck.”
You can see the gears turning in his head.  He tucks his chin against your shoulder and before you can speak to ask him about it, he’s pressing his lips against the skin of your neck. He doesn’t stop at a kiss, though. He proceeds to lick the small patch of tender flesh, before sinking his teeth into it.
You moan. You moan sharp, almost like a gasp of pain. He opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay but when he sees you he stops. He blinks, then gives you a look you’ve never seen. 
His voice is almost chipped - richer and more hoarse as his fingers go over what can only be bite marks.
“Feels good?” He says, then adds more urgently “Where else?”
You’ve made him discover something. You’re sure of that. He looks awfully determined about it, too. 
You sigh shakily, grabbing his hands. Even though you’re trembling mercilessly, you want this. You want him. You let his hand squeeze around the swell of your tits - your nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your shirt. With your eyes locked on his, you brush your nipples.
“H-here,” You admit watching his eyes go dark. Animalistic. “Uhm. W-with your mouth, you c-can suck on them.” 
He’s quiet. 
“Like pup?” 
You laugh. 
“A little bit like that, I guess. But it’s different.” 
He makes a small, approving noise with his mouth, once again thinking hard about something before he continues down his path. He leaves open kisses all over your skin, hands reaching to undress you. You help him, peeling your shirt over your head and tossing it somewhere. His eyes are shut closed, in bliss as he licks and bites down your neck with no real grace. His tongue is wet and rough all over you. 
You can tell you’re being primed for something animal. Like being tenderized, worked apart in a way that makes you melt into something soft. Something that can be broken without teeth, that can be swallowed in one go. It’s not a romantic kiss as much as it’s a hungry graze, a gnawing lust. He’s not being so reserved anymore, and that means sinking his teeth as far into you as he can go, not enough to break the skin. Razor would never break you. But he might ruin you, might melt you down from your very center until he can tear you apart. 
You thought it’d hurt, and it does - but in a good way. There’s some sick sense of relief in how achy your whole body is. You’re burning up because Razor wants you like he’s starving. An emptiness claws at you, makes the back of your gums ache. Makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand nearly straight as you sink deeper in. You want to be full of him and you want him to get so full off of you. 
Razor doesn’t stop his tirade even when he gets down to your chest. Instead his mouth closes around your tit, hard incisors sinking into the supple skin but only slightly gentler than before. His canines feel sharper than yours. They must be. 
“O-oh,” You can feel your voice shake as you hold onto the back of his head. He touches the other one with his free hand, squeezing and massaging the skin. He rubs your nipples experimentally in the same way you did a moment ago. “Razor, hngh,” 
A noise is pulled from the back of his throat, a growl - so hard and heavy that it reverberates into your skin. You can feel it spread through your whole body, your core tightening up. Your skin is prickly. A solar flare shooting through your spine. 
You don’t think you’ve ever been so aroused. You can hardly breathe around the weight of it sitting in your chest.
“Your scent..change.” Razor says through a breath, a thick layer of saliva where his mouth once was “Hot. So hot.” 
You nearly whimper. 
“ It’s because I’m wet…Aroused.” 
“Wet?”
“It means I want to be touched. I want you to touch me down there.” 
A beat of silence. 
“Want me..to mate with you.” He sits up onto his knees, staring at you. Your legs are around his waist loosely. He presses a hand to your clothed sex. You jolt at the contact. “Want me to fill you, here?” 
He puts his hand on your hip, on your stomach - before tucking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts.
“Want to see. What’s wet, I want to see.” 
You lift your legs slightly, pulling your shorts off as you're bent at the knee. It’s embarrassing being bare naked in front of Razor, though you’ve seen him in the same state plenty. He’s quick to grab your knee and force your legs apart wide. He’s got that same focused stare, tongue poked out as he brushes the coarse hairs on your mound with his knuckle. You squirm under the feeling. 
“Pretty,” He says first, then follows with “It’s…very warm. Hot but doesn’t hurt” 
Razor explores with his hands. He runs his finger along your slit, before using his thumbs to spread you apart. He nudges your clit. At first you wonder if it's an accident, but when he does it again - rubs a pointed circle on the aching bundle of nerves you realize he’s being intentional. 
“Here, right?” Razor says slowly and gauges your reaction “Feels good for you…here. Helps.” 
You want to ask who taught him such a thing but you already know the answer. You nod helpless, feeling the way his thumb goes back and forth. He tries it in different ways, watches whatever way makes your breath hitch the most. 
“Here makes you… jump. Like bunny rabbit. Like prey”
The word prey almost takes you out. You can’t make your words out very eloquently anymore. “It’s uhm sensitive.” 
He knows the word. You’ve taught him it. He looks at your bare cunt all awestruck, gloved hand resting on your sex as he continues to toy with your clit. You squirm and shake, even trying to pull away. Razor manages to grab you, keeps you pinned with your legs spread, using his own body to keep you like that. 
“Razor,” You moan, grabbing at his wrist “Razor.” 
“Mm. It’s soft. So soft.” 
“I want to see yours.” 
It takes him a second to register your words, but he’s not ashamed in the slightest when he does. He takes off his gloves right before. You’ve felt it, briefly, the weight and heft of his cock through clothes but you’ve never actually seen it. You gasp as he pulls it out, tucking his pants down under his balls. He’s hairy - thick dark gray hairs nested at the base. His cock has a pretty curve up, tip ruddy and bright. It’s drooling, dribbling pre-cum and heavy. He wraps his free hand around the base and strokes it instinctively. It’s a good length, but it’s thick. Thicker than you could’ve ever conjured up in your own mind.
You reach for it between your bodies, your hands trembling as you touch it. Razor lets out another throaty growl. Your hand doesn’t fit around it completely. The back of your throat tightens up.
“You’re—it’s big. I can’t—not at once. I h-have to open myself up a little bit.” 
Razor tilts his head to one side and you shake yours in reply. 
“I need to uhm,” You gesture vaguely “Make it more..wet and stretch myself out. So you fit i-inside.” 
“Want to help. Teach me.” 
“...Teach you?” 
“Easier if I..learn now. When we do it again later. Teach me..how to touch you.” 
The words sound sweet coming out of his mouth, honeyed and loving. An obedient and eager pupil, Razor has always been that hasn’t he? And he always listens the best he can, tries his hardest. You suppose that this instance is no different. You suck in a breath and spread your legs a little more. 
“Watch,” 
Razor watches. He watches as you dip your fingers into your mouth and coat them with saliva. Watches as you snake a hand in between your legs and dip your middle finger down low into your cunt - with a trembling sigh at the sudden intrusion. He watches intimately as you pump them in and out, rhythmic and noisy. The sound of your own wet heat rings in your ears as you spread yourself in earnest. 
Half-way through, Razor puts a hand on your thigh. He pushes your own hand away, and waits for you to open your eyes. He stares at you, long and hard. 
“I want to eat you. Want to lick,” His hand cups your bare pussy “Here. Make you wet. Open you by myself. Want to eat.” 
You’re speechless. Profoundly turned on by the sentiment, so much so you can’t make out your own voice. 
“Uhm,” You close your hands into a fist, tucking your chin. “You can do whatever you like, Razor.” 
He assesses the statement and you watch him take it in. He ends up on his stomach, lying between your thighs. You’re fascinated by his assurance in himself. He takes the right position between your legs. You spread out to give him easier access and he gives you a silent look of thanks. His breath is warm as it fans your cunt. 
Before you get a chance to breathe, Razor sticks his tongue and licks. It’s animalistic with no real finesse at all. He makes up for it with enthusiasm and some conclusions he’s drawn with your assistance. He sucks on your clit nearly feverish, takes it into his mouth like he did your tits minutes prior. It’s drooly and sticky and nasty in a way that makes you ashamed. You’re more ashamed because you like it, you love it really. Spit is running down, dripping down to your ass. It’s a loud slurp - a shameless, nasty hunger in how he licks up your arousal with his mouth and drenches your pussy with spit. 
His groans reverberate into you. He likes what he’s doing. The sound and touch and taste - Razor overwhelms you with all of it. There’s a tangible intensity wrapping up around you, keeping you trapped in the wolf's den. 
You don’t teach him to use his fingers. He seems to have figured it out. The pad of his middle finger draws the spit pooling along your seam before pushing itself into your tight hole. You gasp at how invasive it is at first. Razors fingers are thick and scarred and you can feel the ridges of your raised skin from healed injured when he fucks you open with them. 
It feels good. Being wanted. Being consumed voraciously and openly without any care for shame. Razor is the embodiment of raw desire and all of it- every ounce of it is being used to devour you. The descendant of wolves, the son of the forest - laid between your thighs and eating like something delicious left at an abandoned altar. 
Even clumsy, you’re turned on beyond reason. Arousal leaves you shakily pawing at him to slow down. Your voice is reduced to nothing but small whines and mewls - pleas to slow down that fall on deaf ears. 
“Razor,” Your voice is clipped “Razor, please - it’s enough. Just.” 
When he snaps out of his haze, his chin is soaked with arousal and spit. He wipes it with the back of his hand, looking at you. 
“Tastes good. You taste nice.” He praises, heaving and out of breath. 
Your stomach flares up with new found lust, hands covering your face. 
“Archons, just. Come here.” 
Razor climbs up on top of you again. You cup his face and kiss him hard, tasting yourself on him. 
“You’re so unfair. But I can’t get angry because you’re not even doing it on purpose.”
“Sorry,” 
You shake your head, kissing the corner of his mouth. Trembling with need. 
“It’s fine, it’s fine. I want you inside. Want you to fill me in here, so bad, Razor.” 
His eyes widen. Your desperation must reach him this time, because he nods. innocently. You’re thankful beyond words you’re on contraceptives. At this point, you think trying to use a condom would break you down.
“You just have to put it inside. But please go slowly, okay?” 
“Go slowly…won’t hurt you.” 
Razor sits up on his knees again, drawing your waist down towards him. Before he pushes into you, he lays his cock against your sex - pushing it between messy folds. His expression morphs, his jaw tensing as the head of his cock swells and throbs against your aching clit. It slides and slips so messily, pussy clinging to his hard length. You guide his cock towards your entrance while he leans forward over you. His palms are rough as they grab your hips, hands settling up under your knees. 
You can feel his cock as he rolls his hips slowly. Your nails dig into his back, indenting the skin as you cry out. It’s thick, intrusive as he pushes into your tight little hole. Even after opening you up, there’s an ache inside as the head stretches your pussy open. The raw drag of skin on skin as Razor pushes inside of you. You can feel him with every movement, your legs wrapped around his waist tight.
Razor has always had a limited vocabulary. He likes to speak in short sentences since it’s what he does best. His speech now is a lot more developed, but he still finds it troublesome. 
It stuns you when Razor's grip tightens and he swears under his breath - a single word, long and drawn out as his cock pushes into you deeply. 
“Fuck,” 
“R-razor?” 
“Feels good…feels so good. Want…move. Please.” 
“You can move, just let me hold onto you okay?” 
Razor tucks his head against your neck before he fucks you. In one smooth motion, he pulls himself out completely before shoving himself back in. It’s as gentle as he can go, but you can practically feel him shaking above you. How his whole being urged him to fuck you llike an animal. The desperation rolls off of him in waves, his own hands gripping tighter as he slowly finds a rhythm to fuck you in. Clumsy thrust that turns into careful calculated ones as you urge him to go deeper. 
“Deep,” Razor pants against your neck, his breath tickling your skin. His voice is a low growl as his hips snap up to meet the back of your thighs with each thrust. Your bed creaks each time he moves, the frame knocking against the wood “I’m deep inside you,” 
“Razor,” You sneak a hand between your bodies, clumsily toying with your clit - pleasure ruining your every thought “Harder. Give it to me harder.” 
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Razor gives up on trying to hold himself back. He fucks you with nearly reckless abandon, an impressive amount of strength and weight behind each thrust. His dick pushes in and out of you hard and fast in the most unromantic way. You can feel it all the way up to your throat. It makes the back of legs and and your lower half feel tingly. Your head is blank, nothing but spotted white in your vision. You blink them open to look at Razors face. 
He’s biting at his lower lip hard, focusing all of himself on his thrusts. He’s enduring it well. Your insides clench, a fluttery sensation starting to build up between your legs. You can feel it in your belly, the knot starting to untie. 
Razor is starting to feel it too him. 
“Inside so, ngh - hot.  S-something coming, going to—” 
“A little more. Gonna cum soon, Razor. Feels so good, you make me feel so good.” 
Your mindless praise makes him whimper. A soft noise that echoes through you. You repeat it over and over, in a high voice like you’d praise a puppy. Razor takes it in beautifully, trying so hard not to succumb to his own desires. He restrains despite how hard and how fast and how deep he’s fucking you. You know it’s not easy. 
“I’m gonna c-cum, Razor,” You say, at the very edge “Cum with me. It’s okay, you can let it out.” 
You cum hard. Harder than you think you ever have in your life, then you’ve ever been able to manage by yourself. The sensation hits all at once, like falling through the sky, you can feel the clouds pushed away by the weight of you coming down through. Your insides tighten and tense one last time before everything releases at once, and waves of the aftershock leave your pussy fluttering. You’re washed with pure euphoria, crying out Razor’s name as you cum. 
Razor is quick to follow you. Your own orgasm seems to drive him over the edge, and he cums deep inside. He muffles his cry by biting into your shoulder, groaning as hot seed spills into your cunt with a harsh stutter of hips. He fucks into your pussy, soft and messy before bottoming out and nearly collapsing on top of you. 
It takes you a long minute to catch your breath well enough to speak. 
You rub Razors back soothingly before you do. He lifts his head, eyes heavy as he looks at you. 
“Wow,” He says, eyes wide and blown out. You can’t help but break out into a fight of laughter “Love you…”
“I love you too, Razor.”
“Wanna do it again,” Razor says, looking at you seriously “Can I?” 
You feel a pulse of warmth through your whole body before nodding. 
“Uhm. Yes. Just give me a break first, okay?” 
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blckbrdlove · 6 months
Text
cause i don’t want you like a best friend
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paring: eren jeager x reader
summary: despite telling eren you want to take things slowly, the two of you jump into a relationship. much to mikasa’s dismay, the two of you seem very happy.
genre: fluff, smut, angst (for mikasa)
notes: PART TWO IS FINALLY HERE!!!!! i am so so sorry it took so long! life is crazy but i am trying. please keep in mind that there is still a lot coming. i am also not a mikasa hater, this is just a work fiction. any and all feedback is always appreciated! i will tag everyone on the tag list in the comments when i get a little more time later today! i have a few errand to run. as always, this probably needs more editing. title credits; dress; taylor swift
warnings: minors dni, fluff, quick getting into a relationship, newly established relationships, eren is a hopeless romantic, eren is a gentleman, eren is a sweet boy, eren falls in love with reader basically at first sight and has been smitten with her ever since, reader recently got out of a toxic relationship and is still healing- but is also very smitten with eren, unrequited love (mikasa), mentions of creampie, jealousy, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), cucking (? mikasa listens while they fuck in a bathroom, and through the wall while they fuck), reader is implied to be bisexual, reader is very femme, reader gives mikasa a slight sexual awakening?, implied slut shaming from mikasa about reader.
word count: 9.3k
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He’s late. Mikasa thinks to herself as she keeps looking at the entrance of the diner they eat at nearly every week.
“Where the hell is Eren?” Connie is the one to vocalize her thoughts, a twinge of annoyance in his tone as they’ve been sitting there for fifteen minutes waiting for him.
Before anyone can say anything else, the door chimes, signaling that someone’s walked in. Mikasa’s face lights up instantly when she sees Eren, and she doesn’t notice the look of hurt that’s cross Jean’s as he sits across the table from her.
Mikasa’s smile turns into a frown once she notices that Eren has you with him. You’ve got on a cropped light blue sweater with some light wash jeans, and the white sneakers you’re wearing have, what she can only assume to be hand painted, blue butterflies. Your makeup is, surprisingly, minimal. Just some light gloss and neutral eyeshadow that has a pop of blue in the inner corner.
Eren has a sheepish half smile on his face as his free hand scratches the back of his neck, “I hope you guys don’t mind, but I invited a, uh, friend to join us,”
You give a shy, half smile and a small wave, “I hope I’m not intruding, I told Eren we could always hang out later. He kind of insisted though,” As you look at Eren, your half smile turns into a dazzling, perfect smile. Eren grins right back at you just as brightly.
Armin goes to speak up, but Mikasa beats him to it, “Well you’re already here. So,” Her tone has everyone’s eyes narrowing in confusion as you look at Eren with a confused grin.
“Of course you’re welcome to eat with us!” Armin interjects before anyone can say anything else can say anything, causing Eren to smile softly at him before shooting a glare Mikasa’s way as he pulls out a chair for you next to Armin and sliding into the chair next to you.
Everyone notices the change in Mikasa’s mood, but no one comments on it. Sasha eyes you from across the table curiously, “Have we met before?”
You tilt your head to the side as you study her, she looks familiar but not enough for you to say you know her. Your eyes avert to the two boys at each of her side before you smile halfheartedly, “Hey you guys are on the football team, right?”
Jean nods as Connie loudly exclaims hell yeah, what about it. You shake your head and look back at Sasha, realization flooding you as you fight back a loud laugh. God, Hitch would have a field day with this one. “You got extremely, and I mean extremely drunk at a party after playoffs last year. Somehow you ended up in the kitchen with me and you kept eating my sandwiches. Even proclaimed your love for me, and offered to, in your words, eat me out for an extra dessert, when I gave you the cookies I had made for some of my friends.”
Jean and Connie bust out laughing at your confession while Sasha’s face heats up in semi-embarrassment. “Oh my god, that’s where that bag of cookies came from?”
Mikasa lets out a scoff at Connie’s words. Of fucking course you bake, just a real Suzie Homemaker. Eren’s head snaps in her direction, before looking over to you to make sure you were still engrossed in conversation with the three across the table; observing the way your eyes light up as you tease Sasha and tell her not to worry, you know you’re easy to fall in love with.
Yeah, you got that right, he thinks to himself.
Averting his attention back to Mikasa, a harsh whisper leaves his mouth, “What the fuck is your problem?” Mikasa’s eyes widen at Eren’s tone. Sure, she’s familiar with Eren’s hotheaded attitude after knowing him her whole life, but she can only count on one hand the number of times it’s been directed at her.
“W-what?” She honestly doesn’t remember what he said. Eren rolls his eyes, annoyed. “What is your problem? You were rude the other morning to her, and now you’re being shitty because Sasha already knows her? What the fuck is your deal?”
From across the table, Jean can tell things are heating up between the two and interjects before they can cause a scene. Despite knowing exactly what they’re arguing, they shouldn’t cause a scene over Mikasa’s one sided feelings in front of you, or in the middle of a restaurant. “Hey, how are your guys’ med school applications going?”
Eren gives Mikasa a look that tells her that their conversation is far from over before turning to Jean and letting out a laugh. “Eh, they’re going on my end, but I only applied to three.”
Your eyes are back on him, brow slightly raised in curiosity. “Oh, which three?” Eren smirks, looking proud of himself and ready to brag, “Harvard, Hopkins, and Stanford.”
His smirk deepens at the impressed look that crosses your face, “Oh, wow! Eren, those are really impressive schools!”
Too engrossed with you, he doesn’t notice the look on Mikasa’s face, but it’s too late and she’s already speaking up. “You didn’t tell me about Harvard and Hopkins?”
Everyone’s eyes are on her, and she tries to cover the distress in her eyes, but everyone notices pretty quickly. Eren’s eyes have confusion in them, “I didn’t know I had to tell you about every school I wanted to apply to?” Sure, it’s nice that they’ve all stuck together this long, but he didn’t expect her to be so upset over the possibility of going to different medical schools. She’s had her heart set on Stanford since she was fifteen anyway.
Your eyes peeking at her over Eren’s shoulder has embarrassment flooding through her, “No, I know. I just thought Stanford was your top pick, is all.” Eren nods, giving her an odd look before turning his body towards you, much like the rest of the table.
Armin speaks up first, awkwardly clearing his throat, “Annie told me you’re an art major?”
An enthusiastic nod comes from you, “Yeah! I plan on going to Italy after I graduate, actually. My mom knows this guy who lives there and he’s an incredible painter. I’d like to spend a summer there to learn from him.”
“That is so cool!” Sasha tells you, “What do you want to do with your degree?” Armin asks you, causing you to frown slightly.
It’s not that you don’t want to work, but you had been with Porco for so long and you guys had plans. He was getting some accounting degree so you could focus on doing things you like, he always told you he would take care of everything else, so long as you are doing something you enjoyed, he couldn’t give a shit. And while the breakup was most definitely for the best, if you’re being honest, you have no idea what you’re going to do with your life.
Both your parents are very empathetic about your situation, and after practically begging you to get out of it and told you multiple times that they’d take care of you no matter what, but you can’t help but feel guilt at the idea of just relying on their money forever. Even if you’ll end up with all of it someday anyway since you’re their only child.
Clearing your throat you look back to Armin and put on a fake smile, “Still to be determined. My mom does some design work, though. So I may work with her for a little bit.” Armin senses he struck a nerve, and before he can say anything else, the waitress comes back to take everyone’s orders.
You order waffle fries and a strawberry milkshake, opting to not embarrass yourself by ordering chicken strips. You would’ve ordered something else, but you didn’t get a chance to google the menu before you got here.
While the rest of your side of the table orders, the ding of the door draws your attention. Seeing Pieck walk in makes you frown, you had forgotten she works her now, not that you know anything about her these days. You’re surprised she even follows you on social media anymore.
Her gaze catches yours, and her eyes widen as she nearly runs into a table trying to get away from your line of sight. You have to refrain from letting out a huff of laughter, god how fucking pathetic. You’re so upset over someone who can’t even look at you? Fuck that and fuck her. Pieck was supposed to be one of your best friends, and sure, she was friends with him first, but you weren’t the only one who got treated like absolute fucking garbage by him. And she’s going to side with him?
Eren senses your mood has dampened slightly, and throws his arm around your shoulders, impulsively nuzzling his nose in your neck. A laugh bubbles out of your mouth at his actions, despite the fact that you try to hold it in.
Your laughter draws Pieck’s attention from the back where she’s hiding, guilt and longing consuming her body. Leaning against the wall, she takes a deep breath as she thinks about how badly she misses you, about how badly she fucked up. She wonders if you think she took Pock’s side in your breakup, and she wishes she could tell you that she hasn’t talked to him since two days after you broke up with him. She just can’t face you, what she did was bad enough. The sad thing is she knows that if she would’ve told you what happened after it had happened, you probably would have forgiven her.
Wiping her face, she sighs and pulls herself together so she can get to work, hoping she can ignore you and the stupid guy that’s latched onto you. What she can’t help but notice is the girl sitting next to him has the same look on her face that she knows she has on her own. Interesting.
Sasha and Connie’s eyes light up when you offer to make the cookies for them again, actually for them this time. The comment causes Sasha to flush in embarrassment despite the teasing wink you send her way.
Eren can’t help but feel his chest warm slightly at the fact you get along with his friends so well practically instantly.
Mikasa’s frown seems almost permanent at this point. Her heart hurts that the one person she wishes would notice doesn’t. The only person that notices is the one she wishes wouldn’t.
εїз
A few hours later, Mikasa is sitting in the living room of their apartment as she goes over advanced organic chemistry notes when Eren walks into the apartment. Trying to seem nonchalant, she doesn’t react despite the anxiety creeping up her chest, knowing he’s still upset about what happened at the diner this afternoon.
Eren does his best to ignore her, extremely hurt by her attitude earlier. He can’t fathom why she would act like that, especially when you were nothing but extremely nice during lunch, and the awkward car ride yesterday morning.
When minutes go by of him not saying anything, she thinks he may actually be seriously mad at her for her behavior. Armin walks out of his room before she can go confront him, asking him about you.
She doesn’t have it in her to listen to their conversation, trying to tune out what she does hear.
I really like her man, but she hasn’t been single long, she wants to take things slow.
Well I think you should lay your feelings on the table.
Coming from you? No offense, but Annie didn’t even know you existed until July.
Yeah, because I reached out to her during our summer class, telling her I liked her.
She tunes out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to listen anymore. She stares at the chemistry definitions and equations until she hears the door to the apartment slam and Armin goes back to his room.
εїз
Hitch walks into the apartment not long after you get home from lunch, sighing loudly before throwing herself on the couch and laying her head in your lap.
“Today was the worst,” She whines while your hum in acknowledgement, sticking your hand in her hair to rub her scalp.
“Agreed,” Her hand finds yours that’s in her hair, lacing her fingers with yours while she looks up at you with a pout. “Why was your day bad?”
A small huff leaves you as you set your phone down, “Eren’s friend seemed less than pleased to have to deal with them having to bring me home yesterday morning, and then today at lunch she seemed pretty mad about my presence.”
Hitch glances up at you with a raised brow, “I could’ve picked you up, but why would that still be bothering you today?”
You shrug before looking down at her, “I don’t know, I mean it’s not like Eren and I have anything but some tension. But I think I like him, I’ve only known him for like, two days though so,”
Hitch rolls her eyes, “Hun, you were with Porco for almost five years, and you were absolutely miserable for two of them. I’m not saying get into an immediate relationship with Eren, but if you like him, you should go out with him.”
Looking down at her with emotion swirling your chest, guilt creeping in, “But won’t it make me a bad person? Jumping into another possible relationship? Situationship?” Whatever it may be, you think to yourself.
Hitch is completely baffled at the thought, because you both know that Porco has been hooking up with girls left and right since coming back to school; a few of them having the nerve to dm you on social media in an attempt to brag. Not that you cared, if anything you’re desperate for him to move on.
She scoffs and sits up and grips your shoulders in her hands, fingers digging in almost painfully. “God no, and fuck anyone who thinks that.”
Despite her attempt at reassuring you, it doesn’t help much. Porco didn’t take your breakup well, at all. He spent two days sleeping on your parent’s porch hoping you would talk to him before your dad threatened to call the cops. The relationship wasn’t good, but you just didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already is.
And you really don’t want him to try to hurt Eren.
“Why was your day bad?” Curiosity laces your voice. From the looks of her snapchat story last night, she had plenty of fun with Marlo after you left the party.
Groaning, she nuzzles herself back into her neck, “Stupid Marlo.”
Hitch and Marlo have been doing the off and on thing since they met freshman year at orientation. He wasn’t your favorite of Hitch’s boyfriends; you’re honestly surprised she never ended up with Colt.
For whatever reason, she really, really likes Marlo and quickly became attached to him, so you tolerate him like any best friend would. The past year has been weird for them, he’s so back and forth, indecisive about what he wants since graduation is coming up soon.
Running your fingers through her hair you let a sigh leave your mouth. She deserves better.
Lost in her own thoughts, Hitch makes a mental note to stalk all of Eren Jeager and his friends tonight. Just to be safe, she tells herself.
εїз
After Eren rushed out of the apartment, Mikasa immediately went and spent the next few hours lying in bed on her phone. At first she was just trying to distract herself with twitter, but then she ended up on instagram. On instagram, she finds herself on Annie’s page, and Annie’s page leads her to an old picture that you tagged her in. 
The picture isn’t anything special, it looks like it’s from Annie’s nineteenth birthday, captioned with a simple black heat. It’s just the two of you, your cheeks pressed against each other’s while you smile brightly. Mikasa can tell that this was before you really started experimenting with makeup a whole lot, because your face is nearly bare.
She locks her phone and turns over, facing the wall as she takes deep breaths. She isn’t sure why she’s so fucking upset. You aren’t the first girl that’s managed to catch Eren’s eye, and you’re not the first girl he’s brought to their apartment either.
Maybe it’s the fact that she’s never heard Eren talk about a girl the way he does you. Or maybe it’s the fact that even before you spoke to him, he noticed everything about you.
Maybe it’s the way that deep down she knows no matter how hard she tried, Eren would probably never look at her the way she’s seen him look at you this week. His eyes would never light up when talking about her the way they do when he talks about you.
What was so special about you? Would he even have noticed you at all if he wouldn’t have been a TA for that stupid chemistry class?
Was it because of the way you dressed? Did he prefer your soft and pastel wardrobe to her nearly entirely black and navy one? Or maybe it was the way you styled your hair, that could definitely be it, right? No, no, there’s nothing about you that even stands out that much. You’re not even the type that he usually goes for.
Frustration courses through her veins the longer her mind thinks about it. There isn’t anything special about you, you’re no better than her. So why does he want you so badly? Why, why, why? Why hasn’t he ever wanted her?
Eren’s been her best friend since elementary school, along with Armin of course. She’s always loved him, always. Why doesn’t he love her the way she loves him?
She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until she feels the tears streaking down her neck and her sobs reach her own ears, god, she wants to throw up. She’s never been like this.
Sighing, she picks it up to find an instagram notification. pieck.finger is now following you!
Curiosity gets the better of her and she decides to look at her profile, only to find dozens of photos that include you, all the way up to her latest post which was dated July 9th. You’re wearing a very skimpy black two piece that barely covers anything and Pieck is clinging to your right side. In the background of the picture, Mikasa makes out Porco Galliard’s features that have a heated glare directed towards the two of you.
She continues scrolling, not even bothering to wipe the tears off her face, a few of her pictures are just candid selfies, pictures with a cat, and group pictures that include Colt Grice, Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, and of course Porco. There are also a few with you, Historia, and Hitch. The more she scrolls, the more she notices a lot of her pictures are of just the two of you, and she’s always got the same look on her face when she’s looking at you. Interesting. 
εїз
Standing in front of your door, Eren’s mind, and chest, are running a mile a minute. He definitely should’ve called you first, and he knows he should’ve.
It’s after midnight and he’s not even sure if you’re awake still, but after talking with Armin, he knows it can’t wait.  
Exhaling a deep breath, Eren knocks on the front door to your apartment, sticking his hands in his pockets while he waits for an answer. He thinks his heart might give out when you do finally answer, you’ve got on a satin pink pajama set with a loose braid in your hair. You always look so pretty, so fucking pretty.
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you look at him, “Eren? It’s late, is everything alright? I wasn’t expecting you,”
He nods quickly, hoping to reassure you as he takes a deep breath, “Yeah, I just, well you know,” Fuck this is going to be harder than he thought
Relief fills you and a small laugh leaves you as you shake your head, “I know?”
He sighs, and a slight frown takes over his features, “I just felt like I needed to come over here before I lost the courage,”
Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you frown slightly, “Lose the courage to what?”
Eren bites his lip, “I know I said I can take things slow. That we can take things slow,” you nod, biting your own lip causing him to groan.
“I want you so bad, not just in a sexual way. I just want you, and if you really want to wait then I can wait. I just want you to know that even if you still need time, I’m all in. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I really, really like you. I’ve had the biggest crush on you since last semester when you walked into Hange’s chem class,”
A hand runs through his hair as he sighs, “I just really fucking like you. And I know you just got out of a relationship a few months ago and want to take things slow, but I just don’t want someone else to come in and sweep you off your feet. “
Grabbing your hand in his own he laces your fingers together, “I just want you to be mine and we take things slow from there.”
Eren’s eyes are staring deeply into your own as he studies your reaction, the green in his eyes is extremely vivid in the hall light for some reason. Your mouth is dry as you take in everything he said, trying to decide what the best response is.
Because, god, do you like him. And him saying everything he just said makes you like him even more, plus your talk with Hitch gave you a lot to think about. Why should you continue to let Porco’s possible feelings dictate you and what you do? You aren’t his anymore. You’re just yours.
Thinking your silence is him misunderstanding what’s been building between the two of you for the past couple days, he takes a step back and drops your hand, causing you to frown, “Eren-“
“No, uh, it’s cool. I just, I think I misread this.” Turning around, he makes his way towards the elevator so he can go wallow in self-pity and insecurities, but your hand on his wrist stops him.
“I don’t think you misread anything.” Between your fingers wrapped around his wrist, where he knows his pulse is thumping erratically and deeply, and the soft tone in your voice, your words have him unable to move.
Gently, you tug his arm, turning his body back towards you. His eyes meet yours again, before they glance down to your lips and then back up again, noticing your eyes are on his lips. A shaky breath leaves his mouth, fanning over your face as your eyes close slightly. “Well, are you planning to kiss me? Or are we just going to stand here all night?”
He lets out a laugh at your words, before leaning down and connecting his mouth with your slightly opened one. His tongue lightly traces against your bottom lip as your arms link around his neck to pull him closer to you. Your teeth nip at his bottom lip, causing him to groan deep in the back of his throat. Hands grip your hips through the satin shorts tightly, but not tight enough to bruise.
He pulls away, hands reaching up to hold your face as he leans in again. He smiles against your lips as he feels you tugging him towards your apartment, praying your roommate out so he can fuck you like you deserve.
εїз
The past month has been the worst month of Mikasa’s life.
You and Eren have been inseparable; during the very rare moment the two of you aren’t together, he talks on and on about you. He didn’t even go home with her for fall break like they had planned on doing, instead he surprised you with an air bnb for that whole week in Maine.
Not to mention, you’ve also gotten into the habit of staying at their apartment half the week, which means that she wakes up to you moaning Eren’s name while she listens to the sounds of your skin slapping together, comes home to you straddling him on the couch.
It’s been damn near fucking torture, having to listen to your quiet, breathy moans through the thin wall that separates her room from Eren’s. Having to walk into the apartment and see you two eating some sort of food she knows Eren would never eat if he had any say in it.
Eren, above all else, has always been a creature of habit. Now it seems all those habits involve you. He’s melded his own, however messy it was, schedule to fit your own. He wakes up earlier so he can watch you get ready for the day, a small section of his closet has a few of your own articles of clothing while a drawer in his dresser holds your underwear and sleepwear. He’s also started eating three actual meals a day instead of an energy drink before class, leftover pizza at three when he gets home, and whatever Armin would cook for dinner at eleven before he fell asleep. No, now he eats some sort of breakfast with you, he eats lunch with you, and you’ve taken on helping Armin cook dinner in the evenings you stay at their apartment or ordering some sort of overpriced food that none of them have ever heard of when no one wants to cook. He also uses different soaps; they smell a lot better than the stuff he was using. Mikasa has to admit his hair has been looking softer the past couple of weeks.
The nail in the coffin for her was when you had class later than him one afternoon, so he went and bought new, softer, sheets for his bed. He’s used the same sheets since they moved into this apartment and now all of a sudden he wants new ones? When she had asked him about it, all he had told her was that it was time for a nice change, ‘s all.
It also doesn’t help that you’re friends get along really fairly well with their friend group, so weekly meet ups that used to be between Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Connie, Jean, Sasha, and Marco also now include you, Hitch, Historia, and Ymir. It’s almost like your groups have melded into one. Almost, but not really.
You’re like a parasite that’s not only infected Eren, but everything about her life.
Ymir is probably the one Mikasa could get along with the most, she’s the most laid back out of the four of you. Historia and Hitch are a different story, they’re fiercely protective of you and don’t seem to like her very much. She wonders if they’ve managed to notice something Eren’s been so oblivious to all the years in the few times they’ve joined in on game night.
She imagines that the three of you were mean girls in high school. It definitely fit; three pretty, rich, cheerleaders who don’t socialize with people out of their inner circle of friends. At least that’s what she likes to think, partially due to the harsh glares Hitch sends her when she thinks no one is looking, the other side of her likes to think that because, well pretty, rich, snobby cheerleaders.
Mikasa grew up in a well off family, but your dad is one of the best anesthesiologists in the country and you’re mom not only comes from an extremely rich family but is also an incredible designer. So while Mikasa definitely had a great home life, you’ve never heard the word no in yours.
Evidently, it seems like Eren can’t tell you no either, since he’s bought twelve dozen flowers in the past three weeks and taken you out on eleven dates since you two became official.
He loves taking you out, showing you off. Showing people that you’re his. Especially the guys on the football team when their hanging out with Jean and Connie because he knows it’ll get back to good ole Galliard.
More than anything else, she’s hurt. She, Eren, and Armin used to do everything together and spent so much time together, and now they both have girlfriends. She just feels alone.
While this has been the worst month of Mikasa’s life, Eren thinks it’s been the best month of his.
He’s loved spending the past month getting to learn everything there is to know about you and teaching you everything there is to know about him. You two have spent every possible minute together since he showed up at your doorstep early that Friday morning.
He doesn’t think he’s ever met someone so incredible. He truly has never enjoyed someone as much as he enjoys you, he enjoys you so much he has literally watched you watch paint dry and all he could think about was how good you looked in the lighting, the way the sun was hitting your face while you patiently waited for the green to dry so you could put the blue over it.
Sure, his mom was pretty upset that he bailed on fall break, but when he told her that he was going to spend it with a girl, she had been ecstatic.
Carla was starting to get worried that he would never settle down. When Mikasa had come by their house to visit, Carla threw questions at her about you. How you met Eren, what you were like, if she could show her a photo of the two of you.
Mikasa relented, loving Carla too much to not show her you. She wasn’t too sure if you even had photos of the two of you on social media, but the second her instagram loaded to her feed a picture of you and Eren with big smiles on your faces. Eren had on a black nike hat sitting backwards on his head, hair pulled back in its signature bun while you’re face is pressed up against his, pretty eyeliner lining your eyes with a lilac color sitting at your inner corner.
Carla had squealed in excitement when Mikasa hesitantly turned the phone around to show her the photo that Eren had simple captioned with a simple black heart. Gushing about how beautiful you are and how happy Eren looks and how good you two look next to each other.
Mikasa left pretty quickly after that.
That trip to Maine was the best last minute decision he could think of, but it ended up being one of the greatest ideas he ever had. You two spent a whole week just the two of you, eating fancy over-priced food that Eren knew his father would be livid about once he saw the credit card bill for this month, took fancy bubble baths in a ridiculously large bathtub, and Eren also got to take you to a few fancy museums. Not that he would ever admit it, but the museums were purely self-indulgent, he just wanted to listen to you ramble about all the different types of art, hear which ones you liked the most and why. He really just likes listening to you talk, honestly.
Currently you and Eren are curled up on the couch discussing Halloween costumes to wear for the party one of the frats is hosting tonight. Eren thinks you guys should be a doctor and sexy nurse, typical. But you’re insisting that you have to keep up with the original costume idea that you, Hitch, and Historia already have planned out. Telling him that you thought the costumes were hot and a good idea!
“I’m just sayin’, angels are pretty basic, baby.” Eren tells you for the third time causing you to groan, “Well, for one, we’re going to be sexy angels and two, we always dress up together! I can’t just bail.”
You have a valid argument, from what is on your instagram page, the three of you have done costumes together since middle school, which is over a decade. Last year the three of you were the powerpuff girls, given you were the powerpuff girls in lingerie, but powerpuff girls, nonetheless.
“Oh! You could be the devil! It would be perfect; we could be dressed up together and I don’t have to change my costume! It’s a win-win!”
With how excited you sound; one could assume that you just solved world hunger or something. Which Eren definitely believes you could. You’re a lot smarter than everyone seems to give you credit for.
“Oh yeah, a big bad devil looking to taint a pretty, innocent little angel,” Eren’s voice drops to a low, seductive tone. Hand reaching down to creep at the hem of the pretty, lavender satin shorts you’re wearing under one of his t-shirts.
“Oh, most definitely,” You play along as his hand moves from the hem to the waistband, tracing the dainty lace that he knows is black.
“Mhm, too bad I don’t have anything to wear,” You roll your eyes and huff on a sharp laugh.
“Eren, all you need to wear is black jeans and a black t-shirt. That’s nearly all you we-“
He cuts you off when he sinks his teeth into your neck and his fingers dip into your panties, “E-eren!”
His middle finger traces your clit, applying barely any pressure as he lightly circles the sensitive bud. Relishing in the way your body has come to react to him.
Just as he’s about to pull your pants off and go to town, your phone rings causing you both to groan loudly, a cry of frustration leaving your mouth as he pulls his hand from your panties to grab your phone from the coffee table to give you.
“Hitch, I swear to go-“
Eren doesn’t hear the whole conversation, he doesn’t really need to, knowing that Hitch is probably just calling to make sure that she and Historia can still come over to get ready for the party since Eren offered to drive you guys because Ymir has to work later than she planned.
“Oh? You’re in the parking lot? I thought we said six?” Eren sighs and stands up, adjusting his pants as he goes to prepare his room for whatever it may be about to witness. He wouldn’t ever complain about your friends, especially since they love you as much as they do. But this is definitely not the first time Hitch has shown up when you two are about to fuck.
“I’m really sorry about this,” You start apologizing, knowing he’s about to be kicked out of his room so you three can get ready.
“No! Don’t be, I offered after all,” He laughs and scratches the back of his neck, the last thing he wants is for you to feel unwanted in his home.
You give him a sheepish smile, a slight glint in your eyes as your hold up the bag with your costume, “To make up for taking over your room, you wanna help me put this on?”
Green eyes suspiciously look at the bag, taking it from your hand and opening it, he has to bite his lip to hold in the groan he’s about to let out when he sees the heaps of white lace.
“You’re killing me, baby.”
εїз
Eren’s definitely basking in the fact that you and you’re friends have taken over his bedroom. He feels like a real boyfriend, having been kicked out of his room so the three of you can get ready.
Armin and Annie are dressed as some couple from the show they watch together, but they look cute together as they sit on the couch while listening to Eren ramble about your costume that he helped you put on before your friends got there.
“Is Mikasa going?” Annie asks off handedly as she looks between Armin and Eren. Annie isn’t stupid, she knows Mikasa’s been feeling lonely and left out. It makes her feel bad, knowing that even though Mikasa is more hurt because of Eren, Armin being busy is also affecting her.
Eren shrugs while Armin answers, “She had said something about not having anything to wear, so I don’t know,”
Speak of the devil and they shall appear, because Mikasa walks out of her room the second Armin says that.
She’s got on a black and red plaid skirt that she’s pulled up a few inches, and a white button up that’s tied above her navel. She looks kind of like Britney Spears in the ‘baby one more time’ video. She’s also got on a lot less makeup that normal, which causes the three on the couch to do a double take.
“You look great!” “Wow,” “You look different?”
Annie cuts Eren a sharp glance as his words come out more as a question than a compliment, and Mikasa twitches uncomfortably under their stares.
Before anyone else can say anything, you walk out of Eren’s room wearing a white lacy lingerie set, a pretty white robe . The lace sits pretty on your skin and your hair is curled nicely. Pretty gold and white liner lines your eyes, with sparkly pink gloss makes your lips shine. The little halo headband you have on pulls the whole look together.
“Oh wow!” Eren’s eyes on you as he stands, taking your hand and twirling you around so he can get a full look, as if he didn’t see you in it just a little bit ago when he helped you get it on.
Mikasa’s eyes are wide with a bit of shock, her voice speaking her thoughts before she can catch herself, “That’s what you’re wearing?”
Eren’s head snaps towards hers, eyes dark when he sees the judgmental look on her face. “What’s wrong with what she’s wearing?”
Mikasa let’s out a slight laugh, not realizing how upset her is by her statement, “Well, I mean, it’s literally just lingerie? You’re gonna let her go to a part dressed like that?”
Before anyone can say anything else, Hitch walks in with Historia at her tail, eyebrows raised as Eren responds, “It’s Halloween, I really don’t see a problem, Miks.”
Hitch and Historia are both standing next to you, wearing near identical outfits, waiting to see how the next few minutes are going to play out.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just saying you’ll probably just catch some attention.” Armin winces at her word choice and goes to speak up before things can get any worse.
“Hey now-“
“Even if there was a problem with what she’s wearing, it’s none of your fucking business. She looks great and worst case scenario I have to knock someone out.”
Eren’s tone has you shift uncomfortably as Mikasa scoffs at him, “Eren, don’t be rid-“
“End of discussion, Mikasa.”
Hitch, though loving his response, coughs awkwardly at the tension rising in the room, “Well, as amusing as this has been, Ymir is already on her way to the party so we should head that way.”
Historia nods in agreement, reaching for her phone to text Ymir that you guys are about to head that way.
Armin sighs and stands, “Who all is riding with me?”
“Mikasa can ride with you.” Eren doesn’t hesitate with his words as he hands you his keys and tell you to go start that car, he’s just gonna go get his horns and then you guys can go. You awkwardly give Mikasa a half smile before you, Hitch, and Historia walks out of the apartment, and Mikasa rolls her eyes in annoyance.
Eren looks at her, shaking his head in disappointment, “You don’t have to fucking like her, but you have got to fucking respect her, Mikasa. Basically slut shaming her and her friends? Seriousl?”
He doesn’t give her time to respond before he’s walking out of the room, slamming the front door as he leaves.
Armin gives Mikasa a pity filled look before shaking his head, “What you said was unnecessary.” With that he grabs Annie’s hand and leads her out of the apartment. Mikasa sighs before following after them, slight guilt gnawing at her.
εїз
The party is in full swing by the time you guys walk in, Historia rushing to find Ymir while Hitch goes to see if Marlo ever showed up. You and Eren elect to go find drinks in the kitchen, Eren promising to limit himself to one beer so you can have a good time with your friends.
He’s got his hand on your waist, flaunting you and your pretty self to everyone there. It’s an ego boost knowing that people want you, and they’re more than welcome to want. But only he can touch you.
You, lost in your own world of Eren, don’t notice the looks you’re getting. The hair sticks up on the back of your neck when you see Porco with Reiner playing beer pong out of the corner of your eye, but Eren keeps pulling you along to the kitchen. Not even letting you pay attention to him as Eren sends him a cocky smirk and wave.
After a few drinks you manage to find your way back to Historia and Hitch, the later grinning and pulling you into her when she sees you. “Oh my gooood! I thought Eren was going to hold you hostage all night!”
Historia nods in agreement at your friend’s typical over-dramatic drunk self. “Yeah! We should go dance!”
You look back to Eren, eyebrows slightly raised as he smiles at you, nodding for you to go ahead as he takes your cup. “I’ll just hang out with Ymir,” He tilts his head over to her, standing in the corner glaring at anyone who looks at Historia for too long.
You smile back brightly, kissing his check before running off with your friends.
Mikasa regrets coming to the party. The schoolgirl getup she’s wearing doesn’t really look any different than what she normally wears, just a lot less material, and she’s practically alone since Annie and Armin came together. Sure, Sasha and the other guys are here, but she wishes Eren was here with her.
She’s been drinking since they got to the party, regret swimming deep inside her as she remembers how upset with her Eren was as he was leaving for the party.
Jean’s been trying to get her attention all night, and if she were in a better mood maybe she would have indulged him a little so she could have some validation that while the one she wants may not want her, but someone does.
It makes her feel sick, knowing she would stoop so low to get some validation from someone who has genuine feelings for her, but she can’t help it. Being wanted by someone feels good, even if you don’t want them.
Instead, she watches Eren from across the room as he stands next to Ymir, the two of them holding yours and Historia’s cups, talking to her while they watch you, Hitch, and Historia dance and grind on each other.
She wonders if it makes him hard, the way you dance with your friends. You’re facing Historia with her hands on your hips, toying with the pretty tulle fabric that sits there with thigh sitting in between your own while Hitch is at your back, right up against your ass while her hands sit at the pretty lace at your ribcage. Head leaning back into Hitch, your one hand travels in front of you to the back of Historia’s while the other goes behind you to rest at Hitch’s nape.
Mikasa feels her underwear damped slightly with arousal, much to her confusion, as she watches the three of you, eyes unmoving from your bodies as it becomes harder to tell where one beings and the other ends. She wonders what it would be like to be sandwiched between you and Historia right now, if she would feel heat coming from your own core’s as she danced between the two of you. Or maybe to be in between you and Hitch, she wonders where your hands would be on her if she were stuck between you and your best friend, if they’d be on her at all.
He’ll fuck you tonight, well he fucks you every night. But the way he’s looking at you now, you and Mikasa both know he’ll be fucking you tonight until your too dumb to even think about anything other than the way his cock makes you feel.
“Um, wow,” She hears Jean say. She doesn’t have to look up to know he’s talking about the three of you, practically everyone at the party is watching.
Annie hums and looks over at you guys before back over to the group, “Oh, they’re always like that. It used to bother the fuck out of Galliard, especially on nights like tonight when they’d be dressed like that. I bet Reiner’s about to cream his pants if he’s here and can see.”
Connie gulps slightly, eyes not moving, “This, uh, this happens often?”
Annie snorts, “All the fucking time.”
“Oh.” “Nice.” Marco and Sasha speak up at the same time, it’s no secret that Sasha definitely has a little crush on you.
“I guess. It’s nice to that Eren isn’t getting pissed off, though.” Annie seems genuinely happy about that, for some odd reason, but Mikasa tunes out the rest of the conversation as her eyes move to Eren.
Armin lets out a laugh, “Yeah, like Eren would go put a stop to that.”
Annie looks up at him, genuine curiosity seeping through her blue eyes, “Is Eren a cuck?” Connie nearly spits out his drink while listening to Armin try to clear up the confusion he may have just caused.
“So, uh, not to be like, well that guy or anything. But have the three of them, ever, well you know?” Ymir’s dark eyes move from Historia to Eren’s, a teasing smirk on her face and eyebrows raised.
“Oh, absolutely.” Her answer causes Eren to choke on air. With wide eyes he looks at the three of you and then back to Ymir in question
She laughs and rolls her eyes, “Oh my god, no! They haven’t all three had some insane, incredibly sexy three way.”
He lets out a sigh of relief, not for sure if he would be able to compete with someone like Hitch for your affections. Historia, obviously, is in love with Ymir so she is something he wouldn’t have to worry about, but Hitch? She knows you better than anyone else, she knows everything there is to know about the ins and outs of you.
“Right, no. Of course not.” Ymir laughs at him in slight mockery before looking back at the three of you. “They’ve definitely made out, though.”
“Right.” Eren has to physically shake his head to get the thought out of his mind before he excuses himself from Ymir to make his way over to you.
Your eyes light up when they find his green eyes that are currently dark with an emotion you’ve become all too familiar with the past month.
“Hey, pretty,” You worm your way out of Hitch’s hold and launch yourself at Eren as if you hadn’t seen him for days.
“Hi!” He smiles fondly at you, “Are you having fun?”
You nod, “Oh, yes! The most!”
As glad as he is that you’re having a good time, he’s getting really fucking hard. Given, he’s been half-hard since you showed him what your costume is, but seeing you dance with your friends the way you were made it damn near worse.
Leaning close so his mouth his by your ear, “Come with me for a few?”
Though comes out as a question, you know better and nod excitedly as you let him pull you upstairs to an empty bathroom.
Eren has you sitting on the counter before the door even closes all the way, hand immediately going to the back of your neck to pull your mouth to his. His kiss is just the right amount of rough, tongue rolling with your own after his teeth bite at your bottom lip.
You whimper lightly as he pulls away to trail wet and sloppy kisses from the corner of your mouth to your jaw and then to your neck.
He bites down when you shift your hips to grind against his denim clad cock, trying to hold in a groan while your own voice goes up in pitch due to the friction of the denim and lace against your throbbing clit.
He peels your panties off of you as he pulls his head from your neck. He quickly presses his mouth back to yours as your hands make work of his belt, drunkenly trying to pull it from the buckle as he distracts you with his tongue.
He pulls away just enough to laugh at your frustration as he helps you with his belt, then pulling his pants down just enough for his hard cock to spring free, one hand moving to your waist to pull you closer to him as the other one works itself up and down his cock to try to relive some of the tension.
“Can you be quiet for me? I can’t wait, but if you’re good I’ll make it better when we get home,”
You nod, head buzzing with lust and alcohol but the submissive gaze in your eyes is still there. Eren likes that you’re like this. Submissive, wanting to please him, wanting him to please you, but just taking whatever he gives you with a bright smile.
Shifting you, he moves your body, so you ass hangs off the edge of the counter and spreads your legs a little wider so he can place his body between them. Pretty lace hangs off of your left ankle as you bend your knee slightly to help give Eren a better angle of your clenching cunt, shining with arousal that’s been brewing since your fun was interrupted earlier.
He guides his cock into you, groaning at the way you clench down on him as he pushes his way inside you. He knows he should’ve prepped you a little first, but he just can’t help it.
The sharp pain causes tears to well in your eyes as his cock bullies its way into your tight cunt. Eren tries to hush you when little cries come out of your mouth, but his own groans are almost louder than your noises your making.
He can’t help himself; your cunt is clenching down on him so tightly as he slowly works his way in and out.
The pain starts melting into pleasure after a few minutes, whines laced with pain turning into sharp gasps of pleasure. Your legs tighten their grip on his torso, signaling for him to move faster, to fuck you deeper. Eren, being the giver he is, does just that.
The sounds of your skin slapping together is drowned out by the music downstairs, but Mikasa can hear it clearly as she stands outside the bathroom door with her ear pressed against it. She isn’t sure why she’s doing this to herself, listening to Eren moan your name while he fucks your sloppy cunt, as he calls it.
She isn’t sure why she continues to listen as your moans get louder, signaling your orgasm, she doesn’t know why she continues listening as Eren’s thrusts get audibly louder as he fucks you harder and faster, trying to fuck you through your orgasm.
She especially doesn’t know why she continues to listen when Eren starts moaning, telling you how he’s going to fuck you so full of his cum and you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are.
Mikasa isn’t sure why she does the things she does, but she finds herself back in Jean’s presence after watching you leave with Eren right after fucking in the bathroom. Giving your friends the excuse that you’re feeling tired and want to go lie down.
She especially doesn’t know why she does what she does when she lets Jean fuck her again, and she yet again lets the guilt eat at her when she hears him mumble to himself that he loves her.
εїз
When Mikasa comes back into the apartment, she finds you in the kitchen. She wants to die, and not deal with you right now, but you think that this might be the perfect moment to try and clear the air between the two of you, since you’re fairly certain Mikasa doesn’t like you.
You smile at Mikasa softly from across the kitchen, “I don’t think you like me much, do you?”
Discomfort rises in her as she shifts awkwardly on her feet, eye’s not moving from your own and you take a sip of water from Eren’s favorite cup.
“What would give you that impression?”
You bite back a laugh at her, “Not to be rude, it’s kind of obvious. But I get it!”
Her eyes widen. Do you get it? Do you actually really? Get it? Do you know that she’s in love with her best friend. Your boyfriend.
“You do?” It’s quiet, and you almost don’t hear her, had it not been for you seeing her mouth move in the soft glow of the refrigerator light you wouldn’t have notice she responded at all.
“Oh, most definitely! As a best friend, it’s your job to protect him from anyone who may be bad news. I do that for Hitch and Historia. And it’s really understandable! I know Eren’s never had a serious girlfriend or anything like this before, so I get you being weary of me,”
She has to tune out the rest of your stupid blabbering. You really don’t get it.
Part of her wishes that you did know; that you did hate her for loving your boyfriend. She wishes that you would tell Eren how much you hate her, that she isn’t a good friend for him, to try and drive a wedge between their twenty some odd years of friendship.
She wishes you would show him your true colors so he would hate you as much as she does.
“but yeah, I really do like him, Mikasa. He’s really good to me and I think we make each other really happy.” The fondness in your voice when you speak to him makes her snap her attention back to you, and she has to fight an eyeroll when she looks back at you and sees you smiling at her, a hopeful shine in your pretty eyes.
She doesn’t know what comes over her when she says her next words, “Well, like you said, Eren doesn’t really do girlfriends. So, I imagine whatever infatuation he has with you will wear off sometime soon. I think you give him too much credit, it’s only been, like a month anyway.”
This bitch, you think to yourself as your gaze hardens slightly. A feeling rising in your chest that you’re unfamiliar with as you bite your lip, “Okay.”
Mikasa quietly watches as you take the mug, dump the remaining water out before setting it in the sink, turn around and leave the kitchen.
“Good night, Mikasa.”
And before she knows it, she’s alone again. While you’re in bed waiting for Eren.
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bigassmoonchild · 7 months
Text
Ghost
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
Summary: Simons body was back, but he wasn't really Simon. No, it was Ghost inhabiting the shell of Simons body, but even Ghost seemed to recognize you. Either way, there were days left of him being able to come back, and you didn't want to grieve your mate twice.
Content Tags: Angst, Hurt/No comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Made Up Medical Shit ab Omegaverse, Not Quite Simon, Ghost and Simon are different people, Mentions of Violence, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha! Ghost, No Use of Y/N
A/N: I'm spoiling y'all again with more uploads <3. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Fun fact, these take me about two hours to write, but they're not beta-read or edited. As always, content is under the cut and my asks are open!!
Part 1 | Previous, Next | Headcannons, Masterlist
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"What are some probable ways we bring people out of ferality?" You asked the squad standing around you. They were a few days out from graduating and at this point you were just filling time. None of them said anything, lookin around at each other. You sighed deeply.
Trip raised her hand and you stared at her. "Scents?" You blinked slowly, waiting for her to elaborate. "If we can get him a fresh scent of some packmate or a person he's especially close to then it can get him a focus point," she explained. You hummed.
Turning to look at the whiteboard you'd started with different plans to get Simon back, there were a few options you had. "The only problem with that, Trip, is that it could cause death," you whispered. The whiteboard had streaks where you'd erased and rewritten things.
Scent. Medications. Time. Death.
You sighed deeply, still thinking over anything else you could do. If you forced suppressants into his body, it would decrease the hormones in his body but the question was focusing on how to get them in him.
There weren't aerosol sedatives, he had ripped off the bindings that they had used to get him in the cell in the first place. 'What's wrong with him?' Price had asked. All you could do was shake your head, not legally able to explain anything. Fuck HIPAA.
Doctors, civilian doctors, had come in and started to try and take over. Even the doctors above you were fighting, because he wasn't a civilian. All they wanted was to use him and figure out how to bring a person out of ferality. Especially an Alpha.
"There are several ways we can fight ferality, but none of which have proven to do them well," you explained, looking around at everyone. There was nothing you could feasibly do, you knew. Similar to rabies, it wasn't something that anyone really came back from.
You sighed deeply. "Attempts have been made, but none of them came through. With too much time in ferality, a persons brain begins to shut down. We don't entirely know why, it hasn't been able to be studied, but there is very little we can do," you had to look away. "Either way, you work your hardest to ensure comfort," you had decided to add that at the end.
All you knew was that you needed to make sure he was comfortable. You knew your mate, you knew he deserved that at the very least. A knock on the conference door brought everyones attention as one of the civvy doctors walked in.
"You'll need to go in there," he told you. Shaking your head in confusion, you looked at him. "If he can recognize your scent, you'll be able to get sedatives in him. You'll be able to help us make him the first survivor," he whispered. Excusing yourself, the two of you moved quickly through the halls to make it to his cell area.
Standing in front of it, watching him stare at everyone through the balaclava, you felt your heart breaking. This wasn't Simon. It was Ghost. Blinking slowly, you listened to the hustle and bustle around you. It was like looking at him for the first time again. A man you didn't know, but was intrinsically connected to you.
With a deep sigh, you looked around at the doctors around you. "I may be his mate, but he won't recognize my scent," you whispered. "I'm pregnant, and we all know that changes someone scent," a few murmurs came from some of the doctors.
Looking away, you glanced at Ghost once more.
"I'll do it," you added.
They had you change into clothes he interacted with you the most in. So you wore your sleep clothes, just something you'd been wearing the night before. With the sedative slipped up your sleeve, the door outside the cell was unlocked.
"You know what to do," they told you. The plan wasn't all that concrete, just get in there and stab him. Very good plan, one of the best you'd ever seen. God, you wished Price had been allowed to format the whole thing. He might have a backup in case things went south.
Stepping through the now unlocked cell door, you took a quick glance back at the doors blocking your escape. Looking through the cell, Ghosts eyes were on you. Unblinking, the eyes you knew were gone. Blacked out, his pupil dilated so wide.
You didn't make eye contact with him other than the quick glance, keeping your head bowed down to try and remain as small as possible. If you weren't seen as a danger, he might not attack you. Might.
Movement brought your eyes up, seeing him standing to his full height and move to you. Slow but still graceful. You could see his face twitching, watched his chest heave with each breath he took. He was scenting you and you allowed it.
Closer, he grew closer and leaned his head close, you could hear the heaving pants as he drew your scent into him. Ghosts head dropped against your neck, pushing your head to force you to bare it to him. You could feel his nose nudging against you, feel his hands grasp at your arms and tug you closer.
You could almost feel tears filling your eyes, thinking back to the past two or so months filled with grief and eventual relief. A huffing grunt came from Ghost, almost displeasure at your scent changing. He tugged you with him, dragging you over to where he'd been sitting for the last few days.
Pushing you to sit, he stood over you. Your eyes opened, looking up at him and feeling the tears finally fall. A groaning whine came from him, his wide eyes glancing around to find something to cheer you up. You knew his thought process, you'd seen ferality in people before.
Only once had you seen it in him.
Ghost dropped next to you, tugging you into his lap and holding you close. He began huffing at your neck, pressing his scent out around you to try and soothe you. It seemed your scent was almost soothing him as well, allowing him a reprieve of the stress and fear over the last however long he'd been away.
God, how much you had missed this. The two of you didn't talk much, but you soaked this in as much as you could. His scent swirling around you, the feeling of his hands and arms wrapped tightly around you. You could feel yourself relaxing, felt the press of his head against yours.
Deep breaths brought his scent into you, albeit not being strong from where you were pressed into his chest. You could hear his heart thumping strongly against his chest, a true showing of his survival.
Pushing your hands to the back of his neck and shifting, just a little, you felt your throat choking around sobs. "'m so sorry," you whispered to him and he made another grunting whine at you.
You pressed the syringe in his neck and he jerked, but you were able to push the plunger all the way down. He whined against you, grabbing you tighter. Over the next few minutes, his grip slowly waned.
His body relaxed fully under you and you could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks begin to pick up. Stuffing your head into his neck, you inhaled deeply. Leather, tobacco and little hints of his own musk. God, you missed it, but the civilian doctors were flooding the room. Pulling you away and injecting him with different suppressants.
They dragged him away, forcing him out of your line of sight. You felt similar to how you'd initially felt when receiving his tags. Numb, like you were watching everything happening over a television.
Alpha is back.
You found Price waiting for you, just outside the medical center the doctors had dragged Ghost to. "How are you, Doc?" You fought the tears, feeling little hiccups coming from your chest.
"I don't know," you looked up at him. "I never thought I'd be able to see him again, but it's not him," you whispered. "That's not my Simon, that's Ghost,"
You knew when Ghost woke up, hearing the snarling roars coming from his chest. The suppressants hadn't worked, but he was still set to be pumped full of more in the next few days. The doctors found you sitting at the front desk, rubbing your face.
"Come with us," they said and dragged you to Ghosts room, where his snarls and roars quieted down to growls. As you sat beside him, placing your hands on whatever you could reach his growls quieted into little huffs and grunts.
You pressed yourself as close as they would allow you to him. "I missed you so much," you whispered and his head whipped around to look at you. His pupils were still so dilated, but you could make out his eye color just barely.
His eyes were always so pretty. You sighed and dropped your head to look down at the ground.
"It's been so long," you choked out. "So, so long," he looked at you, nearly blankly. God, you hoped that somewhere in that stupid head of his he could hear you. "Been almost two months, you wanna know something?" You asked, lifting your head to give him a weak smile.
All Ghost did was blink at you, slowly. Almost like he was listening, you noticed. His heartrate was dropping closer to normal rates, blood pressure dropping little by little as the minutes wore on.
"I'm pregnant," you gave a wet laugh. "I found out not too long after you left for your mission, and y'know what?" He didn't respond, but you could see the dilation of his eyes shifting just barely.
Looking away and swallowing thickly, all you could do was give little sobs.
"God, I missed you so much," you sobbed out. "When they gave me your dog tags that one morning, I didn't know what to think. I was so numb for so long but Price knocked sense into me," you choked another wet laugh. "Just like how he would do with you," you whispered.
"Pups," he whispered, staring at you. Your mouth gaped open, staring at him. His voice was rough, gravelly. It sounded like he either hadn't talked in months or had been screaming his voice out. "Pups," he whispered again, hand moving before getting caught by the handcuffs.
"Oh my god," you whispered. You lunged to get closer to him and heard scrambling at the door. People surrounded you and tugged you away, dragging you out of the door but you could hear it. His heartrate increased severely, and you could assume his blood pressure was skyrocketing again. "Stop!" You shouted, writhing against the people dragging you away.
There was a large snarl from Ghost, you could just see over everyone his writhing form as needles were stabbed into him. The door closed just as his head shot up and you could catch one last look of the fear filling his eyes. Hands tugged you away, pulling you from the area.
"No!" You still were screaming, not even realizing what you were doing. "Please, I need to be there!" You fought against the hands that pulled you further and further from the room.
"You can't," it was Price. "You can't be there, they need to be able to work on him without people in the way," he whispered to you.
"I was getting through to him, Price," he shook his head. "He spoke to me," you whispered, tugging him closer to you. "All he said was 'pups' before they dragged me out," Price looked away.
He sighed deeply. "We know," he said. "We were listening in, but you need to understand something," he made you look at him. "That isn't your mate anymore," he whispered. "He's been feral for too long,"
"No," you shook your head. "No, it's going to be okay," you whispered. "They still have a few days," you looked away. "They can't give up on him,"
Price looked away. "They're giving one more push of suppressants," he told you. "Giving them a few days, they're going to use you to help bring him out but if this doesn't work they'll need to keep him comfortable until the end," you couldn't look at him.
You weren't going to look at any of these people, how dare they give up on him so quickly? For minutes on end, you sat near Price, just waiting. For what, you didn't know, but Price wasn't allowing you to leave.
Minutes dragged into hours. Just like the hours that stole your last moments with Simon before he came back as Ghost. Minutes that you could've been in there with Ghost, comforting him as they did things to him.
He wouldn't know what was happening, his mind was too preoccupied with survival. You couldn't stop hearing his one word replaying in your mind, the recognition you now could see in his eyes. The door opened but you didn't look up, doctors came out slowly but surely.
Feet stopped in front of you, where you'd been staring at the ground. "Ma'am?" The voice whispered above you and you finally looked up. "You can go back in, now," he whispered. You knew that in the few lucid minutes a feral person had were the few minutes when more medicine should be pumped into them.
You had never expected the fear that would fill the lovers when this type of thing happened. When you were still training, you had never expected fear to be combined into others. You had no words for what you felt as you walked back in the room and saw Ghost snarl at you, his eyes no longer filled with recognition.
Sitting where you had been, you gazed over the Alpha. Blinking slowly, you moved your hands to where they had once been sitting, not so many hours ago.
"I miss you," you whispered to the Alpha. "God, I missed you so much," you could see his chest heaving with breaths, nearly see his mouth dropping open under the balaclava to allow more of your scent in. You sighed deeply.
Looking around you, the room was so bare. Something you would only use to describe hospital rooms. It hurt, knowing your Alpha was stuck here. Somewhere you weren't allowed to help.
"The rest of the pack have been helping me out, y'know," you smiled softly. Make this as normal as possible, you told yourself. "Soap's been joining me at my appointments," you looked down at Ghost. "Gaz has been making sure I take care of myself, and Price is doing his best to help during the night," you choked out a laugh.
You hear a soft little hum come from Ghost. His eyes were filling with recognition, little by little. Leaning towards him, you tried to catch his eye. They were dilating, his heartrate slowed.
He hummed again and you looked away. "I need you to come back, Simon," you whispered to him. You looked up at him, gazing over what you could see. His eyes, moving quickly around the room and grazing over you before moving away.
A deep sigh came from you and you sat there with him, watching the clock slowly tick as time carried on. Neither of you said anything and you watched as his eyes slowly drifted shut. You could feel the exhaustion slowly settling into your body, from the different emotions you'd been sent through over the last few days.
Standing up quietly, you let yourself out of the room. With one more look back, you watched the Alpha breathe slowly in his sleep. Closing the door behind you, you found Price.
Gesturing for him to follow you, the two of you slowly made your way to your office. When you unlocked the door, you sat yourself down in your chair and watched as Price closed the door behind him. He sat in front of you, lighting a cigar.
Quiet. For a few minutes, it was just quiet outside of the drag of his cigar and the soft breathing between the two of you. "He's home, Doc," he whispered. "Simons home,"
"It's not Simon," you looked at him. "That's Ghost. My Simon is not sitting in that bed, it may be his body but it's not him," you responded sharply. He looked away from you, sucking at his teeth. You blinked rapidly, trying to get the sleep out of them.
You sighed deeply, rubbing your hands over your face as you looked around the office. The one place where you and Simon had grown so close, the one place where the two of you had found peace.
"I've spent the last however many months grieving," you said. "I've grieved the life of my mate, and now he's back but it isn't him. That isn't my mate," you whispered, giving a short pause. "I can't grieve him again, Price, it'll destroy me," he reached over and rested his hand against yours.
He gave a little smile. "You won't have to grieve him again," he said. "The way he's progressing is making the doctors very happy," you gave a short laugh. "He could be the first case of survival through ferality, and you were the key to it," he told you.
For another few moments there was silence. Neither of you spoke, but you could see the pity in his eyes. Closing your eyes, you just breathed, still faintly able to smell Ghost albeit the scent becoming stale.
"I just need my Alpha," you whispered. "I need him back. I don't care if it means I fight an entire group of Doctors, they can't just kill him, Price," you opened your eyes and looked at him. "They can't just kill him," he didn't meet your eye.
"It's getting late," Price told you. "I think you need to go back to your room and sleep. Now," you didn't look at him, allowing him to guide you to your room. When you entered, he gave you a grim little smile before closing the door behind you.
Now that you were alone, you had no idea what to do. Your Alpha was just a few minutes walk away from you, but you wouldn't be able to enter that room again. They'd close down the medical center from visitors, even with your access as a doctor they wouldn't allow you to enter the room.
Crawling into your cold nest, you laid there. Shirt pressed to your face from where you could still faintly smell Ghost when he'd held you. Closing your eyes, you could almost feel his arms wrapping around you. You could almost smell him right there, right next to you.
And that's how you felt asleep, dreaming of your Alpha wrapping himself around you and making sure you knew everything would be okay. Even you didn't believe it.
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leejihoonownsmyheart · 7 months
Text
The Heat of the Moment
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Warnings: Dubcon. Like it’s all consensual, they both want it, but it’s not as thoroughly expressed as it could be. Just BE AWARE it is DUB.
Also I didn't like super duper edit this because i'm sick and fuck that, I'm on the precipice of irrelevancy I have to act.
Tags: Angry!yn, big dick!jun, size kink cause it’s unrealistic, lots of teasing from jun, jun’s a dom I think, brat!yn? I don’t really know how to tag this one. Creampie, cunnilingus, yn is a bit dramatic
-
You were angry.
No... Angry didn’t even begin to cover the emotions that you were currently feeling. You were furious. Furious because it turned out the two people that you trusted the most in the world were rooting for you to fail.
Because why else would your best friend and the guy that you were madly in love with be at the movies together right now? Why else would neither of them be answering your messages? Why else would you be sitting on the stoop of Jun’s apartment’s front door, waiting for him to get back just so that you could yell at him?
Cause, no, they had to be rooting for you to fail. They had to be plotting something behind your back, because if they weren’t then you were just crazy.
And someone who was crazy couldn’t reasonably be this angry.
“Y/n?”
You looked up glad to finally see the person you had been waiting for walking up to you. It was a bit annoying to have to smile and pretend like nothing was up every time Jun’s neighbor Marlene insisted that you come inside for some tea while you waited for him when you were this angry.
“Wen Junhui,” you hissed back, scrambling to your feet. Jun had looked a bit confused walking up, but upon registering your anger he had the audacity to let a small smile press onto his lips. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?”
Jun hummed, and looked down at his phone, flashing it towards you with the hand that wasn’t holding the lanyard with his keys on it that hung from the other.
“Considering the missed calls... About an hour?”
He closed the distance between you two. Clearly not scared by your anger and tapped you lightly on your head.
“Do you want to come in?”
YOu scoffed at his audacity.
“Are you serious right now?” You asked him. He walked past you, and you stomped up his apartment stairs behind him, waiting impatiently for him to let you into his apartment. Once his door was unlocked you were pushing through it before him, kicking off your shoes.
“How was the movie?” You asked him, crossing your arms across your chest as you glared him down. He barely paid any attention to you. He patiently hung up his keys and organized your shoes next to his on his shoe rack. Then he walked past you and into the kitchen.
“The movie was okay,” he said. “Do you want some water?”
“No, I don’t want your stupid water Jun. I wanted you to spend time with me today,” you replied, but the heat did not die with the admittance.
You weren’t positive... But you were pretty sure that Jun liked you. In the same way that you liked him. After all, beside Haruno he was the only one who humored your fits of anger. He was one of the few people who didn’t completely derail your anger. He let you talk.
“I thought you were busy,” Jun said, and the honesty in his voice was annoying so your next words were a bit immature.
“Fuck you.”
Jun’s eyebrows rose slightly at your words. He sighed, and gave you a serious expression.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Like always he was right. Your anger towards him was a bit misplaced. You had a shitty week. You were tired. Haruno and your schedules weren’t lining up. And stupid Jun hadn’t hung out with you all week.
But he was here now, and you could tell he was going to listen so you started to tell him everything that went wrong, and did your best to half-heartedly tie it back to him somehow so that it would seem better that you were ranting about nonsense to him even though you both knew that he just wanted to be there for you.
Jun let you talk for an hour, you standing there in his living room, him standing in his kitchen listening to you. Then he let you talk for another hour, moving to be closer to you, and then he let you talk for one more hour before suddenly he was very close to you.
You tried to ignore it, focusing on being angry. He let another thirty minutes pass.
“I’m…” You hesitated as Jun’s hand slipped under the hem of your shirt. Confusion flashed through your eyes, but Jun was looking at you so attentively, as if he was listening to your every word. As if he wasn’t touching you at all. “I’m still mad at you Jun. You chose to hang out with Haruno over me.”
Jun nodded, a hum vibrating through his throat. You pressed your lips together in annoyance.
“Are you even listening to me?” You demanded. Jun nodded again, that serious expression still spread on his face.
“Of course, I am,” he promised, but as he spoke another hand was sneaking under your shirt, his fingers grasping at your hips. You decided to ignore the touches, the pit of your chest still boiling after all.
“It’s serious,” you reasserted. “You told me that you wanted to hang out with me. You told me that I was important. But then you cancelled last minute-”
“You never actually planned anything out with me,” Jun reminded you. “You just said you wanted to hang out. Haruno made actual plans with me.”
“You knew I wanted to hang out,” you insisted. “You just chose to ignore it.”
As you spoke the tips of Jun’s fingers dipped under the waistband of your pants. Again, you let your confusion show and again Jun was acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Whatever.
“And then you ignored my texts when you were hanging out with her,” you continued to berate.
“We were watching a movie,” Jun replied, his voice so soothing that it was honestly beginning to dissipate your anger and that made you even angrier.
“And so, you couldn’t pick up your phone?”
“We were in a theater,” Jun explained. You furrowed your eyebrows at him.
“So you go to the bathroom,” you grumbled. Jun’s expression softened.
“I’m sorry y/n, that must have been so frustrating,” he said, and even though his tone was sincere, his words bothered you.
“It was frustrating. It’s so hard to get you to just spend time…” You trailed off as Jun’s thumbs brushed over your hip bones. “What are you doing?”
Jun’s expression was practically unreadable.
“Do you not like it?”
You pressed your lips together.
“I just…” You weren’t sure what to say. “I’m mad at you.”
“Okay,” Jun agreed, his fingers still brushing your skin soothingly. “So, you don’t want me touching you?”
You weren’t uncomfortable. Just confused.
“I… I don’t mind,” you admitted. “I’m just, really mad at you.”
“But you’re okay with me touching you?” He repeated. You felt aggravation rising in your throat.
“Yes, I’m okay with you touching me,” you mumbled. “Why would I care?”
Jun hummed, shrugging.
“Just wondering... For the same reason that I’m wondering why you care so much about me hanging out with Haruno over you?”
As Jun spoke he started to run his knuckles lightly up and down your sides under your shirt. You thought surely he could feel the way your body was burning under his touch, but you were really hoping that he would just think you were hot.
His hands were cool, and it just made you crave his touch that much more. It was like he was literally cooling your body down. He had no right to be so soothing.
“It’s just because you should have been hanging out with me,” you mumbled back. Jun’s lips were spread out in a large smile.
“Yeah? How come?” He pressed.
“Because why wouldn’t you be?” You snapped back. You raised your hands to Jun’s shoulders, squeezing them as you glared at him. “Why do you ever hang out with anyone who isn’t me?”
As you spoke your voice grew quieter, whinier. You didn’t mean it really... And you knew that Jun knew you didn’t really mean it either.
“It kinda sounds like you...” He trailed off, his smile growing. “Oh, no surely that’s not it.”
Your eyes narrowed at him.
“Surely what’s not it?” You pressed. Jun shrugged.
“Nothing,” he  , his hands slipped out from under your shirt and without really thinking about it you grabbed his wrists.
“What are you doing?” You blurted. You immediately regretted speaking and grabbing him.
“I was just going to stretch,” Jun said innocently. “You’re being a little clingy, you want me to touch you that badly?”
You couldn’t help it but his comment reminded you that you were mad at him.
“Yeah, I want you to touch me that badly,” you snapped. “You think you can just... Just touch my sides and say stupid things, and be... Stupid and not expect me to want you to keep touching me?”
You guided Jun’s hands back to your sides, hoping that his fingertips would cool you down again. Jun obediently squeezed your sides and slid his fingers down your hips further.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his tone oozing fake pity. “You’re so hot y/n. You know what would make you feel better?”
You tried to keep your breathing even as Jun’s fingers slid across the waistband of your pants. His fingers flickered over the button of your pants.
“If you took some stuff off,” he replied, his voice soft. “I could help you.”
Your face was even redder, your hands still on Jun’s wrists. You squeezed his wrists, your mind racing.
What was he trying to say? What was he insinuating?
The heat in your body was coiling into your stomach, your core beginning to burn as his fingers brushed against you.
“I mean...” You trailed off. “I am really hot.”
Your eyes flickered away from Jun’s even though he wasn’t looking at your face. He was looking down at his hands.
“You think you could cool me off?” You asked. Jun’s eyes darted up to your briefly.
“I know I can.”
“OKay,” you mumbled. “You should... You should help me get my clothes off.”
Jun’s fingers immediately flicked your button loose of your pants, one of his hands holding your pants up as he slowly unzipped your pants with the other. As he did so his eyes stayed on your face, watching you presumably for any sign of your discomfort.
Not noticing any regret on your face, Jun hooked his fingers in the bands of your pants and slowly pulled them down your legs. As he pulled them down, he lowered himself down your body. Once he was on his knees, he dipped his head beneath the hem of your shirt, raising his hands to the small of your back and pressing a small kiss to the top of your naval.
A shiver wracked through your body, and you grabbed Jun’s shoulders, squeezing them lightly.
“You seem like you’re cooling off,” Jun said against your stomach, and you could feel the smile on his lips. His hands dragged across your hips, his thumbs hooking on the hem of your underwear.
A whimper ripped through your body, which you just muffled by slapping your hand over your face.
“You’re so pretty y/n,” Jun mumbled against you. “Do you want me to show you just how pretty you are?”
“Would’ve shown me if you had hung out with me the other day,” you blurted back. Jun laughed against you, and his hands slid up your sides, bunching your shirt up your body. You took your shirt in your hands and lifted it over your head, letting it fall to the ground. Jun looked up at you from your stomach, his hands lowering back down, hands rubbing over the curve of your covered ass.
“I’m sorry y/n,” Jun said, his voice full of that mocking sincerity all over again. “If I could go back I wouldn’t hang out with Haruno. I would have skipped the movie and thrown pebbles at your window in the pouring rain.”
“It wasn’t even raining,” you grumbled back. Jun’s lips broke into the smile that told you that he was teasing you.
“I would’ve made it rain if that would have made you happy,” he promised you. You glared down at him, but as you did his fingers slid down to grip your thighs, his thumb running along the fabric of your panties. You bit down on the palm of your hand.
“You’re still hot aren’t you? Getting better but still burning,” he mumbled, he lowered his gaze down to where his fingers were running over you, his thumb rubbing lightly over your slit.
“You feel really hot right... Here,” Jun whispered, his thumb ran over your core and he pressed his thumb between your clothed folds. “And so wet... You’re practically dripping through your panties.”
“I’m not-”
As you spoke Jun pushed his thumb deeper inside of you, pressing the fabric into you with him. A moan vibrated through your body but you suppressed it as best as you could.
“I’m gonna fuck you y/n,” Jun said softly. Your eyes widened a little, and you bit down harder on your hand, surely leaving imprints on your palm. “’s that okay? Do you want me to fuck you?”
“I-I’m mad at you,” you managed to get out.
Jun hummed, and let silence fill the room. He wasn’t moving, you weren’t moving. He was just waiting for you to give him a real answer. You felt hot, and you weren’t sure what it was from. Anger, attraction, or embarrassment.
“Want you to fuck me, Jun,” you finally got out.
“That’s what I like to hear.”
Jun slid up your body, wrapping his hands around your neck so that he could press a kiss firmly to your lips. As he kissed you, he slowly began to walk you backwards until the back of your knees hit the couch. Jun’s thumb brushed over your throat as he kissed you, making it just that much harder to breathe.
A small whine vibrated through your body, making Jun pull back. His fingers rose a little, the tip of his thumb pressing into your mouth just breath enough to get it it wet. Before you could say anything, Jun was pushing you down into the couch.
He lowered himself down to his knees and dragged your underwear slowly off of your body. As he did so you hid your face behind the back of your hand, trying not to be so embarrassed.
The look on your face only made Jun’s face contort into a sympathetic expression.
“You still mad?” He asked you. Your eyes fluttered shut in frustration.
“Gonna be...” You mumbled back.
“Can I tell you how perfect you look first?” Jun asked, and before you could tell him no because of course that would ruin your anger, his fingers were prodding at your wet folds. “Cause you do look so perfect.”
His fingers gathered wetness by gliding between your folds, lightly teasing your hole with his index finger. He slid his fingers back up, teasingly circling your clit.
“You’re already so wet,” he mumbled. “Practically dripping. Is this all for me?”
“It’s just cause I’m mad,” you bit out from beneath your hand. As you started to speak, Jun pinched your clit, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. A yelp turned into a moan which you cut with a bite to your hand.
“Oh? So, you don’t want me to fuck you,” Jun mumbled. He began to pull away from you but you reached down quickly, your fingers lightly tugging at the strands of his hair.
“I mean...” You tried to push down your desperation, but it was obvious in the way you pulled at his hair. “You’re already down there you might as well stay.”
“So, you want me to keep going,” Jun mumbled. “You want me to fuck you.”
You nodded, but Jun’s fingers didn’t return to you. Your frustration was undeniable.
“Say it,” Jun mumbled softly. You groaned.
“I want you to fuck me,” you blurted out. One of Jun’s hands pressed down on your inner thigh, and he eased his middle finger into you. It dragged another whine out of your mouth, and you had to pull one of your hands out of Jun’s hair to cover your face again.
“’S funny that you want to cover your face so badly,” Jun mumbled. “You usually want people to hear you.”
Jun began to slowly work his middle finger in and out of you, ignoring the way that you were wiggling underneath him.
“Come on y/n,” he urged. “Let me hear you. I love your voice.”
You bit down harder on your hand, determined not to let him hear you.
Jun slipped a second finger into you, scissoring his fingers once he was knuckles deep inside of you.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Jun cooed. “Why don’t you just let me make you feel good? You know how much I like you don’t you?”
You shook your head against your hand.
“I really, really like you, y/n,” Jun mumbled softly. He leaned forward, his breath ghosted over your clit, making a shiver rip through your body. “I like everything about you. You’re so perfect.”
“You think I’m a hot head,” you blurted out in protest. A laugh went through Jun’s body.
“That’s not true,” he replied. He pressed a kiss to your clit which had you thrusting your hips up for more friction. Jun pressed hard on your thigh, keeping you pressed down. “I think that you get passionate about a lot of things.”
“That’s a nice way to say that someone’s a hot head,” you mumbled back. “I know how everyone sees me. Think I get mad over nothing.”
“I think you get mad for good reason,” Jun murmured back. He pressed another finger into you making another gasp rip through you. “I envy you in a way. Never let anyone wrong you without letting them know how you feel. Not a lot of people can do that.”
He scissored his fingers deep into you, dragging any words that you could muster to say right out of you. “I like that you get mad about things,” he reiterated. “And I like how loud you are about it. It’s good to have a strong opinion.”
“J-Jun,” left your mouth before you could stop it. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do mean it,” Jun murmured back. “And I’m willing to prove it to you.”
He pulled his fingers out of you and slipped them into his mouth, a moan vibrated through his body.
“You taste so good,” he said around his fingers. He pulled them out of his mouth and dropped his hands down to his pants, unbuckling them. “I would rather hang out with you over Haruno any day.”
You wanted to negate what he was saying but just as you went to, he was dropping his pants to the ground. Your jaw dropped a little and you pressed your thighs together at the side of Jun. His dick was huge. Why was his dick huge?
It was thick and long and-
“That’s not going to fit,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. You pressed the palm of your hand harder against your mouth, willing yourself to be quiet. Jun’s smile just grew.
“It’ll fit,” he promised you. “I’ll make it fit.”
One of Jun’s hands came to your hips, and his thumb rubbed a comforting circle into your skin.
“That okay? You wanna see if I can make it fit?”
He pressed his knee between yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you raised your other hand to your face, feeling the heat on your fingertips.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Jun reminded you softly. “I’m not trying to force you to do anything. I-”
Before Jun could continue you let your thighs spread just enough to allow him enough space to push between them.
“Shut up already, I thought you were gonna make it fit? Can’t make it fit if you just keep standing there yabbering on about if I really want it or-”
“Y/n,” he interrupted. “Just need some real consent.”
As he spoke he pressed closer to you, the tip of his cock dipping between your wet folds, his head teasing your entrance.
“Want you to fuck me,” you blurted back. “Just do it already, Jun.”
Jun began to slowly press himself into you, his hands coming to either side of your body on the couch.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you blurted, your hands darted up, coming to either sides of Jun’s neck. You squeezed at the base as his cock slid slowly into you, the stretch sending a burn through your body. “Jun, oh my god.”
Jun’s own eyes fluttered shut, and he stopped pushing in. For a second you thought that he had finally gotten completely inside of you, but then you glanced down and he was barely halfway inside. You whined, wrapping your legs around his waist, making him slide a bit further into you even though right now he was trying not to.
“How the fuck, are you so fucking big?” you bit out, feeling tears begin to sprout at the edge of your eyes. “You’re fucking... You’ve got so much. Fucked plenty of guys who aren’t nearly as big as you and you know that was just-”
Jun interrupted you with a laugh, raising one of his hands to your cheek. His thumb brushed the corner of your eye, gathering some of the wetness and brushing it away.
“’s better to rip off the bandaid,” Jun said, but even as he spoke he didn’t move, letting you adjust to his length... and subsequent width. A burn was spreading through your body, but you ignored it, your fingers pulling at his shirt. You two were silent, the only thing to be heard were both of your heavy pants. Jun broke the silence. “You okay?”
“Shut up,” you mumbled, wiggling your hips, urging Jun further into you. His eyebrow rose slightly at your silent urging.
“Stop being a brat,” he murmured, as if he wasn’t the fucking king of being a brat. “Just ask for what you want.”
A pout pressed across your face.
“You know what I want,” you mumbled. There was no amusement on Jun’s face. “Gimme more.”
Your eyes flitted to the side, your face burning red. “I can take it.”
Jun’s lips flickered up into a brief smile, he pressed further into you, his hands lowering down your body, his fingers tightening on your hips. You could tell that he was fighting the urge to go crazy. You could feel the hesitation as he eased himself into you, his fingers tightening the further that he pushed into you until finally you felt a slightly more extreme stretch as he came to a stop in front of you.
Your fingers had trailed down to his biceps, and you squeezed them tightly.
“Oh god f-finally,” you were able to get out. “’s s-so much Jun.”
“I know,” Jun agreed softly, his voice muddled in pleasure. “I know it’s a lot. Is it too much?”
You shook your head in negation but even as you did you were pulling yourself up (subsequently Jun down) and you were burying your face in his neck, trying to hide your heavy breaths. You felt his throat vibrate a little in what you equated as amusement.
“You’re so fucking cocky,” you mumbled. “Just cause your dick is in me-”
Jun began to slide his cock out of you without warning, a half moan, half mewl ripped itself out of your body. You pressed your lips together hard to stop the noise, pushing your nose harder into Jun’s neck.
“I don’t have that much self-control y/n,” Jun replied, sounding wrecked. “Is it too much?”
The implication was fucking killing you. The subsequent stretch of being stuffed full and stretched to an extreme extent by Jun’s cock was fading from your brain, replaced instead by the imagery of Jun pounding you in a way that you could only imagine that he wanted to.
“It’s not too much,” you insisted softly. You pressed yourself back, your face still burning. “You don’t need to hold back anymore; I can take it.”
Jun immediately rose his hands to your biceps, pressing your body down as he slowly pushed himself back into you. He pushed past the point where you physically felt like you wouldn’t be able to take anymore, but instead of making you wriggle in pain you were moaning in pleasure.
You couldn’t help it, you felt like you were completely stuffed with him but it felt so good, and Jun’s own moans was only pushing the pleasure more prominently through your body.
“O-oh, f-fuck, J-jun,” you stammered out. Jun grunted pushing you more firmly down as he pulled back out again. He began to set a pace, that wasn’t exactly even. His thrusts were clearly just chasing a high. He was gaining pleasure just from being inside you and he was riding that high as far as it would take him.
You couldn’t help the loud pants and whimpers that were leaving your lips and Jun seemed to be taking delight in it. His lips pressed into a focused smile and he adjusted himself so that his hands had slipped under your head, his fingers threading into your hair, and his lips bumping against yours.
“You sound so fucking good,” Jun mumbled. “Always love everything that leaves your mouth but this? Nothing tops it. Nothing tops how good you sound with my cock stuffed inside of you, moaning my name...”
He was mostly rambling at this point, his lips pressing to yours every once in a while so that he could practically swallow your moans from within his distracting kisses. At the switch of position his thrusts became harder, shaking your body with each thrust. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, trying to center yourself but being completely unable to do so.
“You feel so good,” Jun continued against your lips, inbetween those suffocating kisses. He lowered one of his hands down to your clit. “So, warm and wet all for me huh?”
“It’s n-not-”
Jun didn’t let you finish that sentence. Another suffocating kiss, dragging the lie right from your lips.
“Try again,” Jun mumbled, and the words were making his tone turn different. Whiney. “Tell me the truth, that you’re all warm and wet for me. You don’t get like this for anyone else I know you don’t.”
You whined your protest, trying to avoid having to admit something so embarrassing.
“Tell me you like me,” he pressed. “Tell me about how much you’ve been wanting me.”
You thought maybe if you stayed quiet, he would forget the question. He snapped his hips into you, forcing his cock deeper in you than it had reached before.
“I-I-” You struggled to find your words. “’s all for you.”
“Mmm, you’re just saying that,” Jun pressed, that twinge of whininess coming through at the very end. He was just pressing because he wanted to hear it. He pulled back and his thrusts stopped momentarily. He sat up and grabbed you by your hips, dragging you against him, forcing his cock impossibly deep inside of you, the stretch burning through your body in such a good way. “Why don’t you tell me the truth.”
One of his hands dug into your thigh, while he pressed his other thumb to your clit firmly. You whined.
“I like you,” you bit out, aggravation vibrating through you. “Not much right now-” A sharp thrust in, and he pressed your thighs further open, spreading you impossibly open. “Fine, I like you so much... Always fucking nice, and listening to me. You’re so fucking pretty and quiet all the time, everyone wants you Jun. Stop pretending like you don’t know that everyone likes you.”
“I only want one person to like me,” Jun mumbled back. His face was so serious, but you didn’t really get to observe it as suddenly Jun was fucking you roughly all over again. “Want you y/n, just you.”
Any words that you could say back to him were now gone, his thrusts, filling your brain with nothing but muddled pleasure.
“So fucking perfect for me,” Jun mumbled, and you were only vaguely aware of the fact that you were grabbing at him desperately, pulling him down so that his lips were on yours. Openly desperate for his affection, silently begging him to come inside you.
You felt like the two of you had melded together both physically and mentally because it wasn’t long before you felt Jun start to come inside of you and you were coming along with him with a scream to his lips.
As soon as you felt Jun’s cock spurt the last squirrt of warm cum on your stomach you felt him squashing it against your stomach as he fell limp against you. As he fell against you, his hands found their way to your neck again, his lips pressing against yours.
Neither of you were able to breath all that well anymore, but it was even harder to breathe with his lips against yours. You two gasped against one anothers lips more than you actually kissed, until finally, Jun gave up, his thumbs brushing the base of your neck as he settled himself down next to you. You two breathed next to each other and the longer that you two laid there the more that you thought about it.
Thought about Jun’s thumbs on your neck. Thought about his cum on your stomach. The fact that you were naked right next to him. All of it was in essence... A dream. In practice... Humiliating.
You buried your face into Jun’s side, wrapping your arms around his stomach to hide yourself in his body. Jun wrapped his arms around you too, letting you hide there.
Your mind was racing. How had you gotten here again? Would Jun think that you were telling the truth when you said you liked him? Maybe you could convince him that it was just something in you said in a fit of intimacy because his cock was in you.
His cock...
You peeked from Jun’s body to look at Jun’s cock, which was now limp but somehow still just as massive.
“Are you okay?” Jun asked after a few moments. “Maybe I should have gone slower.”
“Weren’t you the one who said it was better to rip of the bandaid?” You mumbled back, annoyed. “I’m fine.”
Jun hummed, and was quiet for a moment, his thumb rubbing small circles into your neck.
“You sure?” He asked, hesitantly. You nodded.
“I’m sure...” You were silent for a few moments. “I... Liked it.”
And your face was burning again, and you were burying your face into Jun’s body again.
Jun sighed, a big heavy sigh.
“Me too,” he breathed. “You know how long I’d been wanting to do this? Do you know how long I’ve liked you. But you’re always so mad at everyone else you don’t notice me.”
“I don’t notice you?” You blurted out, you raised your head back to his. “You’re always fucking talking to everyone. Wen Junhui. Friends with everyone.”
Jun hummed.
“I’m not friends with everyone,” he disagreed. “Just a few people.”
You scoffed your disbelief,
“Just a few?” You asked. “There’s Cheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seokmin, Haruno, Chenle, Renjun, Ku-” You were interrupted by Jun shifting, his hands capturing your face between them. He gave you a very serious look.
“Stop talking about other people,” he murmured. “I don’t care about those other people the way I care about you. Especially not when you are next to me and you are naked, and perfect and all mine.”
You glared at him.
“Yangyang, Kris, Handong-”
Jun squeezed your face harder, and you stopped, a pout crossing your lips.
“Who ever said that I was all yours?” You asked instead. Jun frowned slightly, dropping his hands from your cheeks to your shoulders.
“You don’t want to be?”
Jun shifted so that his back was against the couch, and he dragged you up onto his lap.
“No one said that either,” you mumbled softly. You pressed your hands against his chest, your fingers creeping up under his shirt. “Can’t believe I let you fuck me with your shirt on... Like I’m some whore.”
Jun’s hands drifted to your hips, his thumbs brushed over your hip bones. He just hummed, not really commenting on your words. His eyes instead swept over your body, closely observing you. You pressed your lips together.
“So you agree with me? You think I’m a whore?” You were just being confrontational, and Jun immediately caught that.
“No one said that,” he said, throwing your words right back at you. “You’re just embarrassed.” As if you didn’t know that. “Just tell me if you want me to take my shirt off.”
You felt like it was teasing, but his face was so genuine. Your fingers clenched against his chest.
“Jun... Do you really mean it?” You asked softly. “You actually like me?”
“Why would I lie about that?” He asked back. He slid his hands up your body, leaning up so that he could place his hands on the back of your neck, thumbs pressed just under your jaw, pulling you down so that he could pull you into a deep kiss.
You grumbled into his lips, but your heart was soaring. He loosened his grip on you and you raised your own hands to his neck, your thumb brushing over his adams apple.
“You’d lie about it to fuck me,” you replied pointedly.
“I told you that I liked you while I was fucking you,” he reminded. “And now... I really like you y/n.”
You lowered your head to the side, a smile crossing your face that you were trying to hide. He whined at that, his grip on you tightening so that he could push your face back to see.
“You know you have the prettiest smile? Please don’t hide from me. Hide from anyone else, but not me. I like you too much for that,” he assured softly.
“It’s just a smile Jun,” you murmured.
“It’s not just a smile. It’s your smile.”
“I’m leaving,” you decided finally. You lowered your hands back down to his stomach and you patted him. “I’m going to my place. And maybe I will see you later.”
“Maybe,” Jun echoed, sitting up as you began to collect your clothes.
“Don’t text me,” you warned him. “I don’t like you like that.”
Jun hummed his response.
“Okay, I won’t,” he assured. You pulled your clothes on. You gave him a side glance.
“I’m serious,” you insisted.
“Don’t forget to take a shower,” he replied. “You still have cum on your stomach.”
Your face burned red and you decided not to say a word to him. You turned away from him on the heels of your feet and left without another word. You were only in the car when your phone buzzed.
Stupid: Tonight was fun 🙂 we should do it again but just dinner
Tomorrow at 7?
Your heart skipped a beat.
You hated him.
You slid your phone open and clicked to call him. Your phone, luckily for him, rang only twice.
“I said not to text me,” you protested immediately.
You heard him smiling in his voice.
“Right,” he agreed. Your face reddened.
“And it’s presumptuous to assume I’m just free tomorrow. What? I should just be around whenever you want me to be?”
You paused, but didn’t let him continue.
“What’s even the point of me going home right now if I’m just going to see you again at 7?” You continued.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “You could always stay I guess. We’ll watch a movie. I’ll make breakfast.”
“I guess,” you parroted back at him. It just made him laugh.
“Come back upstairs y/n.”
You were silent for a few seconds and in those few seconds your lips flickered up into a smile, exposing your true intentions.
“Okay,” your voice was uncharacteristically soft, your fast-beating heart slowing down at the comfortability in Jun’s words. “I’ll be just a second.”
-
Taglist: @vintageot5, @woo8hao, @wonudazed, @kkakkameori
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