#// and just know more ocs will come here as i think of more boyfriend types haha
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starter call. click that heart to book a date with a boyfriend for your muse. specify ( on your end too if you're a multi ) or at least give me some options.
#𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 ⊹ ˚˖⋆｡ blossom is speaking. › ooc tag.#// IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS :)#// and just know more ocs will come here as i think of more boyfriend types haha#// also me crying in pink aesthetic hell
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Past Love || Chapter 1
Various! Yandere! Jujutsu kaisen x Sukuna's past wife! Yuji's best friend! F! Reader
A/N : English is not my first language, sorry if there are some wrong words. This is the chapter 1, you can read the prologue and Chapter 2. Enjoy!
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Prolog | Chapter 2
Series summary : You always get the same nightmare over and over every night. You feel annoyed but can't do anything about it. On the other hand, your best friend who suddenly becomes the vessel of a cursed king brings your nightmares to reality. I don't know what happened but the people around you started acting strangely.
Series warnings : Non-con, dub-con, yandere, stalking, kinks, gaslighting, blackmail, overtism, smut, NSFW, Minors DNI, all character 18+ (but first years still first year, try to make sense), sex, rough sex, oral sex, dom/sub dynamics, blood, manipulation, corruption, mind break, forced relationship, yandere character being their own warning, mind control, possessive, kidnapping. ⚠️Jujutsu kaisen character was not my original, credit to Gege Akutami as original author! There's a few OC as my originally made character. If you don't like/ you hate this kind of story, please go.
You are grateful because last night you prepared bento and breakfast you made by yourself for your father and your brothers. And even though you're in a rush, you don't forget to bring your lunch.
And you brought 2 bento. One for you and one for your best friend, Yuji Itadori. Yes, you are itadori's best friend or what you usually call Yuu. How are you not attracted to him? He's totally your type. He is gentle, kind, compassionate, and patient.
During lunch time, you visit his class. But did not find him. Someone from his class said he was on the field with the sports club members.
"Yuu!" You scream his name and he looks up.
He smiled and ran towards you. "(Y/N) Sorry I didn't tell you I was here."
Yuuji approached you. he explains his paranormal club is about to be disbanded and he needs to win the bet so that doesn't happen. "Really? You ask, with a worried face. "yeah, but don't worry bun. I win it!" He said with big smile on his face. You both sigh together and you both chuckling and laughing together.
It doesn't feel like you have arrived at the paranormal club room. There are also your two senpais. You all eat your bento together and you fall asleep.
"HAH-HAH-HAH- That dream again! W-wait where is Yuu and everyone else?" You woke realizing you're the only person there. And it's late, the sun replaced by the moon. You quickly grabbed your bag and rushed out. You searched the corridor hoping to find Yuuji. You think, why didn't Yuu wake you up and instead leave you? It's already night and the atmosphere is very quiet...
You can't help but get goosebumps.
BRAK!
You suddenly hear a loud sound. What's that? It comes from above. You see someone you don't know black hair boy. Suddenly something hit that person...
YUJI!
"YUU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING." you run towards your boyfriend but soon stopped when he looked at you. “T-that mark!”
That's Sukuna's mark! The one who's always on your dream.
"(Y/N)? You-Y-you (Y/N)(L/N)?!"
"S-sukuna..."
He approached you and you slowly back off to the edge of the building, you looked down and just swallowed done. "DON'T HURT HER!" say a boy behind Sukuna. Sukuna heeded the remark and Pressed your cheek with his hand. "Do you remember me, my dear (Y/N)?"
BRAK!
Suddenly someone kicks Sukuna from the side and pulls you in his arms when you almost fell off building. "Didn't I say to protect civilians, Megumi?” said that person. It turns out a black hair boy named Megumi.
You continue to see the person who is still hug you. Tight. White hair...
"Y-you're a member of the Gojo clan?" that person looking back at you. "How do you know, Princess?"
"We don't have much white hair in this country." You say. And he hummed. I don't know why you feel nervous to see, his smile more feels like a smirk.
"Hmm, interesting... What's your name beautiful princess?" he asked.
"(Y/N), my name is (Y/N) (L/N)"
When you say that he's a little surprised… Then his grin grew wider, wider than before as if he had just heard the most heartbreaking news his life.
"(L/N) huh? Is this fate? The Gojo family and (L/N) are business partners and establish close relationship." You freak out a little as he grabs your chin and gets closer to your face.
"So (Y/N), my name is Gojo Satoru. I was a jujutsu high tokyo teacher. Nice to meet you, Princess."
His face is getting closer and your lips almost touching, but prevented by black-haired boy around your age that you know his name is Megumi. "S-sensei..." he said while walking away balance towards you. he held stomach and as if awakening from hypnosis, You remember Yuji.
"YUU!" You screamed approaching Yuji releasing yourself from the young Gojo's arms. You approached Yuji's body that was lying down unaware. You see the wounds all over his body.
You took your hands out and placed them on Yuji's stomach. Light goes out from your hand and slowly closes and heal the wounds on his body. Megumi and Gojo looked at that with impressed. well, there are who have similar power, but nothing that really looks like a naked eye light produce.
——————————————————————
You keep pacing back and forth in front of the room... You've already healed Megumi and are now waiting for Gojo and Yuji who are in the room.
"why are you so worried?" You were awakened by Megumi's voice. "I don't know... I'm just worried about Yujl..." You saw his expression soften and he smiled. Somehow you feel that's not a face he usually shows to other people.
"As long as there is Gojo Sensei, we will be safe... After all, we haven't met yet. My name is Megumi Fushiguro, what's your name?"
You're reminded of something... "Fushiguro-san? Have we met before?"
"Hmm? I do not think so? Why do you think so?"
"The only Megumi I've ever known in my life was from the Zenin clan..."
He flinched at your words and seemed to be trying to remember something.
"Could it be you... (Y/N)(L/N)?!"
You look at him confused when he suddenly looks at you with surprise. "Um... Yeah? Do you remember anything?"
"That's right, it's me! Megumi Zenin... I left Zenin and became Fushiguro... Do you remember when the Zenin family and (L/N) had a meeting? We always played together."
You look surprised, a happy childhood memory... "You're a Gumi?!"
"Shhh... Slow down, that call is a little embarrassing..." He said while his hand covered your mouth. He let go of his gag. He looks so cute with his blushing face, you think he's so embarrassed by that nickname.
"I think we meet again, (N/N)..." Megumi said. When you heard the call you chuckled. It was a call from megumi for you first.
"Hmm? What do we have here? You guys knew each other before?" The young Gojo comes out of the room where you guys are waiting, along with Yuji of course. You with teary eyes lunged at Yuu, hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"Yuu! You don't know how worried I was!" You started crying while hugging Yuu. He hugs you back. Megumi and Gojo find the two of you a little displeased.
You two... are too close to be called friends. "I'm fine (Y/N)! Did the creature hurt you?" He kissed your cheek back making the two people watching you bend their faces even more.
"You mean Sukuna? No! He didn't hurt me. But..." You remember when Sukuna held your face. It feels weird, like deja vu.
"Megumi, did you tell Sukuna's name to (Y/N)-chan?" Gojo asked, caught your attention and Yuji. "No... I didn't tell her." After Megumi said that, Gojo who had been sullen smirk widely. "Then I think, not only Yuji who will move to high jujutsu."
After that you and Yuji visited your senpais to say goodbye. gojo-sensei already spoke with your Papa that you're moving to jujutsu high.
Your papa is worried about you because all this time he has been trying to hide you from becoming a jujutsu wizard which is a dangerous job. But yeah, maybe it's about time.
At the end of the day you and Yuji visit Yuji's grandfather's grave to ask for blessings. Next will be fun right?
Right?
To be continued
Tags : @loaves4me @carminhadaavenidabrasil
A/N : hello everyone! thank you for all your excitement for my series! i'm working on the third chapter rn and i expecting this series would be 15 chapter? im still not sure, it can be change. but since i have other things to do in my life i would post the next chapter if i finish all of it till epilog. So, while you all waiting. Since i also read manhwa, playing hoyoverse games, and watching other anime, i'm gonna post short scenarios of those (mostly yandere tho hahahaha)
#yandere x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#yandere#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#tw:noncon#jujutsu kaisen smut#tw:dubcon#tw overstim#yandere gojo satoru#yandere teacher x reader#yandere sukuna#yandere various#yandere harem#yandere yuji itadori#yandere itadori yuji#yandere megumi#yandere megumi fushiguro#yandere toji fushiguro#yandere toji#yandere smut#yandere kugisaki nobara#yandere maki zenin#yandere nanami kento#yandere inumaki toge#yandere yuta okkotsu
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beside you
pairing: idol!jungkook x gf!reader
summary: you miss your boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time, so who could blame you if you couldn’t resist him once you saw him?
warnings/tags: MINORS DNI, dom!jk, sub!oc, established relationship, oc is a little whiny and desperate oops, riding, missionary, oc has an iud but it isn’t mentioned, lots of kissing, jk buys oc a pair of ck underwear 🥹, aftercare, jk calls her pretty girl and baby :((, they miss each other so much, a little i love you moment halfway :))
word count: 2.1k+
beside you; keshi: it’s just you and i, and no other guys, we got no interruptions and we both feelin’ the vibe
You find yourself sitting in a random coffee shop, your mood clouded by a deep sense of longing. Your fingers trace the rim of the coffee cup, the warm ceramic comforting in your hands. Leaning your head against your palm, you release a heavy sigh, your eyes fixated on the half-diluted coffee that you had paid an hefty price for, “I miss my boyfriend,”
Beside you, Chaeyong, your roommate of four years, gives you an amused look. She rolls her eyes playfully and nudges the plate of pastries closer, urging you to take another bite.
Chaeyong's comment brings a pout to your lips. “You say that every time he's out of your sight,” she remarks, her voice tinged with affectionate exasperation.
A small whine of frustration escapes your lips as you respond, “But I was so excited to see him yesterday when he landed in the evening, and I fell asleep! And by the time I woke up this morning, he had left for another schedule.”
Chaeyong tries to console your sullen mood, “But you'll see him later today, right?”
You nod, but it's accompanied by another heavy sigh. The mere thought of having to wait a little longer to be reunited with Jungkook deepens your yearning for him. Your heart aches with the anticipation of the moment when you can finally hold him close and simply spend time with him.
You’ve been separated from Jungkook for a good week or so because of his promotions in America, and as much as you tried to keep an optimistic mindset while living away from your boyfriend, there was a major part of you that simply craved for his presence to be back.
For example, when you ate breakfast in the morning, there was no Jungkook sitting beside you to annoy you with the most random facts he’s learnt, or throughout the day, there was no Jungkook singing random tunes to songs that filled the apartment, and most of all, there was no Jungkook to cuddle up next to you and help you sleep.
Frankly, the dark under eyes clearly showing through your skin is evident of Jungkook’s absence for the past week. It’s been more than rough for you, considering you’ve been spoilt by Jungkook’s cooking that a mere packet of instant noodles can even taste bland.
“Then just text him to see when you can meet,” Chaeyong is a genius, you didn’t think of that.
you: hi baby
you: i miss you :((((((((((
Chaeyong’s been curiously peering at your phone screen, as you type out a message to your boyfriend. A wry grin tugs at your lips, but your amusement quickly turns into a grumble as her scrutinizing eyes zero in on your texting style.
“Yuck, that’s how you text him?” She inquires, her tone mixed with amusement and faux disgust.
“Get a boyfriend and then you’ll understand,” You scoff, retorting at her as you kick her shin from under the table, earning a hiss from your roommate.
jungkook: hi my pretty girl :)
jungkook: miss you too
jungkook: just finished my filming and im done for the day, wanna come over to my studio? 😘
“This is the part where I get abandoned here isn’t it,” Chaeyong deadpans as she reads the text Jungkook had sent back, the text itself already making you light up and gasp in excitement.
“Chaeyong,” You look her directly in the eyes, pleading with your roommate, “You know how much I love you but right now, I need to get to my boyfriend like asap,”
“Fine, fine, go ahead, you better do the same for me when I get a boyfriend,” She rolls her eyes at you, as you quickly spew a string of thank-you-you’re-the-best-in-the-whole-wide-world, before grabbing your bag to drive over to his company building.
-
Breathless and filled with anticipation, you swing the door to Jungkook's studio open, paying no heed to the quiet click of the latch. The space is awash in a soft glow from the artistic lamps scattered across the room. Your heart races as you spot your boyfriend, Jungkook, sitting in the swivel chair in front of his cluttered desk.
Eager and almost stumbling in your haste, you bound towards him, your footsteps echoing throughout the studio. The swivel chair creaks ever so slightly as you launch yourself into his lap, an exclamation escaping your lips.
“Hi, oof-” He huffs when you jump into his lap, arms wrapping around his muscular back as you sigh in relief.
Jungkook smiles at you affectionately, his face illuminated with a soft glow from his monitor that he had been previously focused on, but your sudden arrival was a much better thing to concentrate on at this point.
“Hi pretty girl,” He greets you properly this time, his own arms wrapping around your smaller body as he chuckles at your playful behaviour.
“Did you have fun? You’re all dressed up,” Your boyfriend takes notice of the flowy dress you’re wearing, the light makeup you had put on and how your hair had been parted half up half down. Jungkook thinks you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, the sight of you all dolled up does things to his heart.
“Yeah, me and Chaeyong went to a cafe, but goddamn the coffee was not worth it,” You begin to ramble on about the aesthetic looking cafe, filled with cute little plants and flowers and even a cat, and Jungkook listens attentively, watching your expression switch each time you talk.
“And she helped me take pictures for my Instagram too,” You tell him, arms wrapping around his neck as you touch your nose with his for a split second.
“Yeah? Show me them,” He muses, waiting for you to retrieve your phone from the bag that had been hastily thrown onto his couch in the studio, right before you had launched yourself onto him.
“Later,” A whine pulls from your throat as you inch closer to him, if that was even possible, your legs hanging from either side of his thighs as you straddle his lap, “I missed you so much,”
“Missed you too baby,” He mumbles against your lip as you lean down to kiss him, a little more desperate than usual.
Jungkook bites onto your bottom lip mid-kiss, making you part your lips with a soft gasp in surprise, he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in, hands reaching to hold the back of your neck.
You feel the heat rushing down, it’s been a week since you had last kissed Jungkook, a week since you’ve been in physical contact with him. At this point you’re so desperate for him you don’t try to hide it, softly grinding against his growing bulge under his jeans, making the man under you groan.
“Such a little minx,” His hands fall down to slip under the hem of your dress, stroking your thighs gently as you whine into the kiss.
“Need you,” You’re panting against his lips, desperate for him to do something, anything, you’ll take anything at this point, “Please,”
“Yeah? Tell me what you want baby,” He squeezes your waist, doing nothing but sitting there with a stupid grin while you rut against him desperately, slick soaking through your panties already.
“Kook,” Another whine escapes your mouth as you shamelessly let out a soft moan when you grind over a particular spot that rubs your sensitive clit. Fuck, you’re about to go crazy from all the teasing he’s doing.
“Tell me pretty girl, use your words,”
“Want to ride you,” You pant some more, head buried into his neck as you gasp when he shuffles a little under you.
You tug at his shirt, signaling for him to remove it as you remove your dress at the same time, exposing the CK underwear set he had bought you recently.
“Fuck, my pretty girl,” Jungkook might just be drooling at the sight in front of him, you’re insane for showing up to his studio and making him so desperate for you.
He slides a finger along your covered slit, hissing when the wet fabric touches his skin. You don’t give him time to comment on anything, crashing your lips back in his as you tug his pants and underwear off, making him do the same for you after.
“Let me stretch you out baby,” He whispers against your ear, hissing when your hand wraps around the base of his cock.
“No, ‘sokay, I just need you now,” Your whining at this point because all you want is Jungkook’s cock buried in your dripping cunt, but he’s been purposefully riling you up and teasing you so much, you’ll take matters into your own hands.
He gives you an amused smile, clearly entertained by this new side of you, desperate for his touch.
You angle his cock towards your slit as you slowly sink down, gasps coming from both of your mouths.
“Fuck- So tight-” Jungkook grits through his teeth, hands finding their way to your bare ass as he gives it a tight squeeze, before reaching back up to unclasp your bra.
You support your weight by pressing your palms against his bare chest, moving upwards before sinking back down on his cock, moans from the both of you sounding throughout his studio, but thank goodness for his soundproof walls, or the both of you would have been caught by now.
“Baby, please, more,” Jungkook coos at you in a whiny state, his own cock throbbing as your hole clenches around it over and over again.
He lifts the both of you up, shoves your bag away before placing you down on the couch, his much larger body now hovering over yours.
“Hnnghh!” A muffled moan emits from you as Jungkook ruts into your soaking pussy, head lowering down to kiss you deeply. Your sensations are all over the place, body sensitive and overstimulated from not having any action for the past week.
“Yeah? Good baby?” He whispers, making you nod in response. Jungkook watches in awe as your eyes roll back at a particular thrust, your hair forming a halo around your head, lips swollen as you take all of him.
“S-So good, so fucking good, I love you-” You’re a mess, stuttering over your words as your boyfriend fucks you into oblivion, his cock thrusting into that sensitive spot inside you that makes your thighs shake in pleasure.
“I love you,” He kisses down the valley of your breasts, thrusts increasing in speed as the both of you reach closer to your climax. Jungkook’s moans get louder, his groans more throaty as his eyebrows furrow.
“So close, so close, please! Hah-” You think you’re drooling right now, he’s hitting all the right spots, making your vision go blurry as you’re overwhelmed with pleasure.
With one particular harsh thrust, he lets out a guttural groan from above you as the both of your climax, his warm seed shooting into your pussy.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” Jungkook’s almost whining as he ruts into you, desperate pants leave his mouth as his thrusts slow down, pulling out, his body collapsing on top of you as he catches his breath.
“Shit, you’re insane,” He pants, head burying into your neck as you giggle at his hair that tickles your skin slightly, “Did so well for me baby, so good,”
“Feel so good, missed you,” You whisper, hands roaming his back as you soothe the scratches from your sharp nails that painted his back.
“And your cock,” You add on, making Jungkook snort above you.
“Couldn’t tell at all baby,” He muses, lifting his head to peck your cheek, then the corner of your lips. “We need to clean up,” He sighs, watching some of his cum slowly drip out, threatening to fall onto his couch.
You let Jungkook get off you, watching as he quickly fetches the wet wipes that he keeps on his desk, gently cleaning you up as he peppers kisses to your stomach.
“Best welcome back present I’ve received to be honest, 10/10,” He teases you as he hands back your clothes, helping you put them back on.
“What about that time when I literally surprised you with a cake?” You nudge his bare shoulder, a faux frown plastered on your face.
“Baby, the cake was half raw, we both had food poisoning for a week after that,” He taunts you, making you gasp dramatically.
“It’s the thought that counts! You try to make a cake from scratch then!”
“Deal, I’ll bake you a cake tonight, watch out, because I’ve been watching a ton of Nailed It!” He tells you, pulling his shirt over his head to put it back on.
Jungkook does indeed bake the best tasting cake you’ve ever eaten in your life, proving your point wrong.
#jungkook fluff#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook au#jungkook ff#jungkook smut#jungkook x oc#bts ff#bts#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios
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Ur Best Friend
Inspired by the song “Ur Best Friend” - Kehlani and Kiana Ledé (such a good song oml 🙏🏾)
Paige x fem!OC (cause ion do that y/n stuff, no hate but I don’t🧍🏾♀️)
Featuring: Jalen Suggs
Words: 2k
Themes:
-drinking
-cheating (sorry fam)
-slight sexual content
As the sun began to set, casting a warm golden hue over the backyard, the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. It was my boyfriend Jalen's twenty-third birthday, and I had spared no effort in planning the perfect party. A few weeks earlier, we’d just celebrated our five months, so I had to have a party to top the last. The decorations were up, the music playlist carefully curated (tons of Rod Wave and Bryson Tiller), and the scent of food filled the air.
Among the guests was Paige, Jalen's best friend since eighth grade. I've always been cordial with her, exchanging polite smiles and casual conversation whenever she was around. But something had shifted in the past few weeks. A subtle tension lingered between us, sparking whenever our eyes met, igniting something unfamiliar yet exhilarating.
She'd gotten more touchy with me as well, a hand on the lower back and a hushed "excuse me" to get past, a casual arm over the shoulder during group hangouts, a hug or two, but up until a few weeks ago, I'd seen these as nothing less than innocent.
She's a friend, you know? Jalen's friend at that, so no way in hell I'd ever try anything with her. Not to say she's not, you know... good-looking. She'd 100% be my type if it wasn't for Jalen. Paige's tall, she's blonde, she's funny, has a nice smile—did I mention tall? Sometimes she wears these glasses which make her look—
"Aniyah!!"
I'm pulled from my thoughts as my friend Gigi waves me over to her.
"Come on, we're about to sing happy birthday," she smiles and rushes over to me, grabbing my arm and dragging me into the kitchen.
As I followed Gigi into the kitchen, my heart skipped with something unfamiliar upon seeing her. Paige was already there, chatting with a few other guests and standing next to Jalen. She was wearing a grey Nike tech sweatsuit under the jacket, a white tee, her classic braided ponytail, and topped off the look with white Jordan 4’s.
As I moved through the crowd, I couldn't help but steal glances at her. At times, we made eye contact which deepened the flush in my cheeks.
I’d told Jalen earlier that week that I wanted to toast to him before we sang for the cake, and I’d prepared something ahead of time, but now as the moment approached, something about it just hadn’t felt right. In the midst of my thinking, I don’t notice Jalen coming up to me with open arms.
“Hey baby, you good?” He says with a look of worry.
I’m startled by the sound of his voice and am quickly ripped from my thoughts.
“Hey! Yeah yeah I’m fine… just hoping you like my toast,” I breathe out, praying he doesn’t press the issue.
He smiles and says nothing, placing his hand on the small of my back and directing me towards the front of the crowd… towards Paige.
I lock eyes with Paige again and I rush to look away, but as I go to look back, I notice she’s still staring.
What was this tension between us? And why was it becoming harder to ignore?
Gigi nudged me playfully, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Girl what is going on with you today, you gonna do this toast or what?”
With a deep breath, I grab my shot glass and get everyone’s attention.
“Hey y’all, before we sing happy birthday, I just wanted to make a toast to my man. Tonight, let's raise our glasses to celebrate Jalen's 23rd birthday. Jalen, you're more than just a boyfriend; you're my rock.”
Even as I say these words and the more I go on, I don’t feel as though they’re genuine. All I can do is think of Paige…
“Your kindness, strength, and passion inspire me every day. Your laughter lights up any room, and your presence warms my heart. Here's to another year of smiles, laughter, and adventures together. Happy birthday, Jalen! Cheers!”
I tip my head back and down the shot, feeling the lukewarm liquid burn its way through my throat. Bringing my head up, I catch Paige’s gaze once again, and this time I don’t look away.
Suddenly my view of her is obscured as a group of Jalen’s friends come from the hallway with his birthday cake. Everyone gathers around Jalen, me on his right side and Paige on his left while Jalen holds the cake in the middle. We quickly sing happy birthday, and he blows out his candles. He turns to me to go in for a kiss, but I catch sight of Paige behind him and end up swerving his kiss.
“Yo.. seriously you good babe?” Jalen spews sort of irritated.
“Fine! I’m fine,” I squeak out, “Just…”
My gaze falls over to Paige, seeing her fight back a smile or maybe a chuckle at the sight of me rejecting Jalen’s kiss.
“… distracted.”
“Uh.. cool, okay,” I see him look to his friend group.
“I’m just gonna go and talk with the boys for a minute,” and he presses a brief kiss to my cheek.
“Have fun!” I turn around and try to yell over the music, but I can tell he’s already forgotten about me.
When I look back, I see Paige again. She makes prolonged eye contact then trails her eyes to the porch outside. Cocking her head towards the door as if to say “let’s talk out here” and promptly turns around and heads out the back doors.
I wait a few minutes before heading out to follow her because as much as I long to talk with her, I’m not trying to look desperate. Slowly but surely, I make my way over to the doors, pushing them open to see Paige leaning with her forearms on the railing.
“What are you following me out here for?” Paige teases turning her head with a smirk. I laugh quietly, not knowing how to continue the conversation.
She stands up straight, turning around to face me, leaning her back on the railing, crossing her feet and arms.
“You're trying to be shy so bad, get your ass over here,” She laughs.
I throw my hands up defensively, my voice pitching up a little bit, “I’m not being shy! I just don’t know what to say right now.”
Paige reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me entirely too close to her. “You don’t have to be so weird, it’s just me,” she says softly while caressing my fingers.
“I just- I.. I don’t know! Everything’s just so complicated right now,” I confess.
“Well talk to me about it,” she continues caressing my fingers, which makes it increasingly hard to think straight.
“I can’t.”
“Why not, mamas?”
That god damn nickname.
“I can’t because it’s about you.”
“What about me?”
“I can’t say! I just- it’s like- If I say how I really feel about.. you know everything, It’s gonna be real, and I’m not sure if I want it to be real.”
“Ma, you’re not making any sense right now.”
“I know!” I throw my hands up in frustration, I feel hot and flustered, and Paige being less than two feet from me isn’t making it any better.
Paige grabs my chin, bringing me closer and forcing eye contact.
“Hey, hey, look at me. Seriously breathe through it, you’re okay,” She says calming me down. “Just tell me what’s on your mind.”
I take a deep breath and back away from Paige slightly, letting the word vomit take its course.
“Every time I see you, my heart races, and my palms get all sweaty. I try to play it cool, you know. But let's be real, I am desperate. Desperate to talk to you, to be near you, to just be in your presence. And when I finally gather the courage to make my way over to you, my knees feel like jelly, and my words get all jumbled up. But you! You just stand there with that smirk on your face, teasing me, and you know you have this effect on me, you love it. I know you do.
And then you show up to Jalen’s party, making all the faces and giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes, and it’s just- it’s a lot to deal with! So I come out here to shut it down, but you make it so fucking hard by pulling me closer, rubbing my fingers and shit, making it impossible for me to think straight. And then by asking me what's on my mind, what's bothering me, you’ve become a better partner to me in ten minutes than Jalen ever has in these past five months.
And I know I should just spill my heart out to you, which I quite literally am doing right now, and tell you how I feel and hope for the best. But it's not that simple. I am scared, scared of losing you, of ruining our friendship, of making things awkward between us. But I can't help the way I feel, Paige. I just feel like the biggest asshole for doing this to Jalen because even though he’s not the best boyfriend, he’s still a good guy. I don’t know…”
I take a deep breath after that, looking at Paige’s face for any sign of disgust.
“Aniyah, I…” she starts.
“See, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I told you it was stupid! I knew you didn’t feel the same, and I opened my mouth anyways,” I quickly backtrack.
“Paige, I’m sorry, I’m just acting all crazy because Gigi’s birthday dinner's in a few days, and I have an early exam tomorrow, just super busy with things! Again, so sorry I-“
I’m quickly cut off by the feeling of Paige’s lips crashing onto mine and her arms wrapping around my waist.
“Don’t apologize for anything,” she breathes out in between kisses.
After a good minute or two of deep kisses, we break apart with our foreheads touching. I bring my arms around her neck while hers stay around my waist, rubbing the material of my black mini dress.
The air around us feels charged with electricity as we stand there, our breaths mingling in the warm night air. Paige's touch sends shivers down my spine, and I find myself lost in the moment, forgetting everything else except her and the connection between us.
"Aniyah," Paige whispers, her voice barely audible over the distant hum of music and chatter from the party.
"Yeah?" I respond softly, my heart still racing from the intensity of our kiss.
"I've wanted to do that for so long," she admits, her blue eyes searching mine for any sign of hesitation or regret.
“Same,” I smile, and we both laugh.
“This… this is not a good idea,” I sigh out.
“Probably,” she jokes. “But I really wanna kiss you again, so maybe let’s have this conversation in the morning,” Paige tilts her head back down to kiss me again.
I squeal, “Paige! Hold on, Jalen’s still here. So is literally everyone else.”
“C’monnn.. Jalen’s probably blacked out or cross-faded by now. Let’s just sneak past everybody…” She leans down, kissing up my neck.
“I… Paige..” I breathe out.
“Hm?”
“Seriously.. hold on two seconds. Just let me check on him.”
She rolls her eyes sassily, gripping my waist again, “Fine.”
I pull her hands off my waist, interlocking our fingers and dragging her with me back into the house full of drunken young adults. We continue to weave our way through the house finally getting to the room packed full of loud frat guys, including Jalen.
As Paige predicted, Jalen’s 6’3 self passed out on the couch surrounded by his friends in equal states.
“I fuckin’ told you dude,” Paige nudges me with her elbow.
“Shut up!” I laugh turning around and pushing her back slightly.
She grips my wrist, pulling me into her body. “Now can we…? You know..” she says smirking.
I burst out laughing, “Yes! Jesus, you—horndog.”
“The fuck is a horndog, bruh?” She replies chuckling.
“Girl I don’t know! And by the way, don’t call me ‘bruh’ when you’re trying to shove your fingers ins-“
Slapping a hand over my mouth, “Okay okay!”
We both laugh to ourselves as we stumble up the stairs with our mouths attached, bumping into walls and pictures along the way. Finally reaching my room and falling through the doorway.
#uconn wbb#paige bueckers x reader#uconn huskies#women’s basketball#wlw smut#paige bueckers#jalen suggs#black reader#oc#kehlani#kiana lede
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Hi Elle!! Hope all is well 💕💕
Can I request a headcanon or fic of where Dick and y/n have been in a serious relationship for a few years and OC has become a “mom figure” to all the other batboys. So when the batboys misunderstand Dick and OC getting into a big fight somewhere, they both come home (either to their place or to the manor) to find that the batboys have moved/thrown out all of Dick’s things because they love OC that much??
Thank youuu ☺️
Ahhh this is such a cute little idea!! Thank you so so much for the request it’s lovely to see an old friend <333
Found Family - Dick Grayson x Reader
Steph gave you a sympathetic smile as she poured the rest of the wine bottle into your now empty glass. “What’s wrong hun? Because if it’s boy troubles I will personally castrate Richard if he hurt you.” Which only made you sigh as you nodded. Her eyes widened, you and Dick never ever fought, and this foreign emotional territory was a shock to you too- hence the wine.
“Dick asked me to move in with him, but I’m not ready to leave my place! I love Gotham, and I’m not sure Bludhaven is where I’m meant to be. But I also know I could never leave him. I just told him I needed more time to think and I think he took it really personally. It’s not that I’m not ready to live with him, I’m just not ready to leave my life here even if it is just a town over.” You said, happy to put into words the emotions swirling in your chest.
“What?! You are NOT leaving Gotham anytime soon. What on earth would I do without you here?” Steph exclaimed, putting down her glass to pick up her phone, fingers typing frantically.
Less than a minute later, Tim was jogging into the Manor kitchen, “Dick’s tryna take Y/N from us? Over my dead body.” And before you could tell him otherwise, the young hero burst out the room, clearly on a type of war path.
“No! I love Dick and you guys, Bludhaven is great! I just need-”
“Taking down Richard has always been on my bucket list.” Damian’s snarky voice echoed through the manor as he stalked out the same door as Tim. You scrambled up and after him, but Steph side stepped in front of you, “don’t you dare try to fix this, we’ve got it!” Which only made you more nervous for the future of your relationship.
Before you knew it, another bottle was opened, and the colors of the Manor living room were awfully fuzzy. You were pretty sure you’d seen Jason, Tim, and Damian zipping in and out of the manor, each repeatedly promising an increasingly violent demise for your boyfriend, who’s radio silence was only making you more anxious. Steph, while physically with you, was terrifyingly glued to her phone, sending text after text- even taking the occasional call, but she was speaking quiet enough that your tipsy-mind couldn’t process the words flying out of her mouth.
You truly weren’t sure how much time had passed when Dick burst through the manor shouting “Stephanie Brown where the hell did you hide her!” And before you could shriek with excitement, Dick appeared in front of you, his eyes frantic until he saw you were okay.
“Dickie!” You cooed, outstretching your arms so he would scoop you up into a hug. And he did. He was breathing heavy, burying his head in the crook of your neck as he took a deep inhale. You were just giddy to see your handsome man, squeezing him tighter, wrapping your legs around his waist, happy to be carried as you weren’t sure you could stand in your current state.
“What on earth did they do to you sweetheart,” Dick mumbled, walking back towards the kitchen so you could place you on a counter, you leaned back to look up at his eyes. He swiped a hand over your cheek, you assumed you were still warm from the alcohol.
“She’s. Fine. Can’t say the same about you you selfish monster,” Steph slurred her speech, pointing an accusatory finger at Dick who gave you both a confused look.
Almost like a sitcom, the three other boys burst into the room, as if on cue.
“Step away from the woman Grayson!” Jason shouted as Damian lobbed the nearest manor antique he could get his hands on at Dick, who of course caught it effortlessly, setting it down next to you on the counter.
“What the hell is going on?” Dick raised his voice, but Tim was already in between the two of you, pushing Dick backwards as Damian hopped up onto the counter next to you, silently handing you a glass of water which you graciously took, enjoying the plot unfolding before you.
“No questions at this time Richard, as Y/N’s personal advisor I’m here to state the case.” Tim began, Jason and Damian nodding in agreement. Steph had her phone out, clearly filming the entire argument.
Tim continued, “it has come to our attention that you intend to take Y/N from us.”
“I asked her to move in with me?” Dick looked exasperated but intrigued by the way his brothers had turned on him in your name.
“And in doing so, you’d be removing her from Gotham, and therefore the four of us!” Tim concluded, and at the statement, Jason, Steph, and Damian mumbled angry agreements.
Dick scoffed, “I’m sorry, I thought she was my girlfriend, and you guys love coming to Bludhaven! With Y/N there it’s more reason for everyone to spend more time over there.”
Damian piped up immediately, “we hate Bludhaven Richard, Y/N is the only thing that makes it manageable.”
Jason snorted, “ever realized we only go over for dinner when Y/N is visiting you? Or that Steph only wants Sunday bagels in Bludhaven cuz Y/N spends the weekends there? Did you seriously think we just went over for you?” You cringed as the harsh tone, but Dick didn’t look offended, rather, proud?
Dick opened his mouth to retort, then closed it. Tim spoke up again, “Don’t worry Richard, I’ve already mended the problem at hand.”
Now Dick spoke up, “what the hell did you brats do now”.
“To the Zeta Tube!” Jason called, scooping you and Damian up in one arm and sprinting towards the teleporter, with Dick screeching for him to put you down following close behind. For once, Damian wasn’t squirming out of Jason’s grasp, rather he had quietly grabbed your hand, saying “I hope you love your new home” to you right before the Zeta Tube activated.
When you came through, Jason set you and Damian down happily, and you were situated in a fully furnished apartment. Furnished with your and Dick’s combined furniture. You froze for a moment, feeling like you were in a different dimension until you notice the window in the apartment. You recognized the block corner instantly.
“We refurbished an old safe house! It’s south west Gotham, so close enough to Bludhaven that Dick can’t whine too much, but only a couple minutes drive, or instant Zeta Tube to the manor!” Tim exclaimed excitedly.
Damian piped up, “we stripped Dick’s apartment to the ground to furnish it! Not like either of you will be needing it anyway!”
Dick had been silent, drinking in the new view. But he came up beside you to stare out the window, “I think they just made a compromise for us, but I do want you to love it. What I should’ve said earlier, is that I don’t need to be in Bludhaven, I need to be with you. You’re my home Y/N.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and you leaned back into his chest.
You spoke up, “I love it, and I love you, and I especially love you guys,” you turned around to face your family. Steph was grinning, Jason was nodding knowingly, Tim was off slightly adjusting furniture placements, and Damian was- wiping away a tear. Not worth pointing out, because he’d deny it anyway, but your heart was bursting knowing the little guy wanted you near just as badly as you wanted to be close to him.
“Tim! Get over here, it’s group hug time!” Dick called, throwing an arm around Jason and Steph while you scooped up Damian, who for the second time that day, wasn’t fighting back. Tim crashed into the hug and your swore you could feel your heart beating out of your chest with pride in your found family.
Tim’s phone vibrated and he shouted “Dick! You’re rich! The Bludhaven apartment just sold!” And Dick shrieked, “You put my apartment up for sale in a day!!” To which Damian shrugged, “not like there was anything in there after we were through.” Jason nodded in agreement saying: “yeah, you don’t even wanna know what plan B was if you said no to this place!” But Steph shushed him before he could divulge any more, most likely violent, secrets. You couldn’t help but grin knowing your family had your back no matter what, even if Dick was slightly concerned over his brother’s undying loyalty to you, it made staying in Gotham that much more worth it to you both.
“As your realtor I will be taking 15% of the profit! Gonna go meet the new tenants!” Tim called, beelining to the Zeta Tube before Dick could even try to tell him no. You gave Damian’s hair a ruffle, which he immediately tried to fix, as Jason and Steph nodded, knowing they could be over whenever, but you and Dick probably wanted a moment to get used to the new place.
And suddenly, it was quiet. The bustle of the Gotham streets was faint, and you walked through the apartment which was truly designed perfectly, imagining the dinner parties, late night adventures, and peaceful mornings you’d get to have in your new place.
“As much as I hate to admit it, they did good.” Dick broke the silence. You nodded in agreement, unable to wipe the heartfelt smile off your face, you gave him a peck and said, “They sure did, it feels good to be home.”
~
I hope you enjoyed!! Thank you again for the request!
#tim drake#batboys#batfam#jason todd#damian wayne#dick grayson#steph brown#dick grayson fanfiction#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n#batfam x reader#batfam x you#batboys x you#batboys x reader#dick grayson fluff#dick grayson cute#dc fanfiction#dc fanfic#nightwing x reader
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how they act around reader! you know the usual, how horny they get and how the reader is potentially uncomfortable because not even they can handle the harems hormones.
MIDNIGHT DARLING HEAD-CANNONS (Unang Yugto / First Part)
YANDERE COLLEGE BASED OCS x READER
Hoo boy we have a lot of characters to go through and I haven’t even named all of them so *cracks knuckles* Let’s go with my favorite children for now.
warnings: dead dove do not eat territory here. yandere themes (lotsa violence). please don’t read this if you have a wild imagination like me oh god im aboutta faint at darling’s section. cannibalism. knife play. necrophillia. a transphobic society.
[previous ask for more context]
[next part] - yandere! faculty
Let’s start with our boy Justin Del Rosario [Yan Jock]
He’s incredibly sweet and caring. At least when you two were dating. The type to always check in on you. Always makes sure you’re hydrated and keeping up with your self-care routines.
As if popular! reader isn’t completely meticulous when it comes to their image.
Looks like a bad boy but is an actual sweetheart. Your relationship started off as a transaction of sorts. Being the softie he is though he developed feelings. Quick. The masochist.
Is a whole ass push-over when it comes to you.
Now post break-up Justin is a bit of a freak.
Like I said in my previous post of his experience as your boyfriend, he has gone through shit.
Suddenly his grades are perfect. People are actually tolerating if not appreciating his presence.
He’s becoming a threat to your place as the ruler of the campus.
But unlike you his fans aren’t declined atrocious yet.
How does Popular! Reader feel about him? Not much really. Their whole relationship was a transaction to them. I can’t emphasize how much of an apathetic bitch I wrote reader to be ya’ll I’m sorry. But in order for their harem to thrive they gotta turn a blind eye.
In terms of Horni Levels it’s uh - not so bad. Once he lost his virginity to you (yes you took his virginity) he found it to be the best stress relief and got addicted. But he’s also super respectful of your boundaries.
That was when you were originally dating though. He’d probably pound you to oblivion if you ever got back together. Pent up horni does that.
Actually, that event might not even need them getting back together. I won’t be surprised if current Justin just takes you even with his relationship with Darling.
For your favorite, Darling De Leon [yan good girl] . . .
⚠️THIS IS THE PART WHERE IT’S DEFINITELY DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.
Hella shy around you. You almost didn’t know she existed if it weren’t for her consistent placement as second. At least before Isabel came and Justin’s grades shot up.
She has a pretty shit past.
Has always been a little scared of you.
Extremely possessive. She had always been overshadowed by her siblings, and her time abroad without you had really shattered her self confidence. Although she’s deathly afraid her past actions would be revealed, she’s more scared of losing you to someone else.
She thought that by agreeing to date Justin, you’d think of him as disgusting for moving on so fast.
Definitely enjoyed her time on your lap a little too much.
Which brings me to Horni Levels.
If you think Justin is bad. Darling is just the worst out of all the yanderes. She’s the kinkiest one too. She has been saving herself for you, waiting for the time you corrupt her. Hoping that by that time, every obstacle has been removed.
The type to have you fuck her atop the corpses of her rivals kind of kinky. The type to fantasize about you using a knife and inserting in every way possible inside her type of kinky. The type of kinky to fuck your dead body or eat any and every part of you to fully make you two as one.
She’ll own you, dead or alive, one way or another.
How popular! reader feels about her is again, indifference. Maybe a little horni for her soft aesthetic and cute demeanor. Definitely plans to gobble her up once Justin is done playing pretend.
A character that hasn’t been mentioned yet is Isabel Labrador [yan! nerd]
Isabel used to go by the name Isaiah. She used to be pretty alright with being assigned male at birth until popular! reader suddenly announced one day that she’s more horni towards women.
She got disowned for transitioning, and like Darling, disappeared from your life for quite a bit that you forgot about her.
Similar to many of the harem members, she’s very pliant to your whims. She does many of the assignments and projects that aren’t worth your time or would lead to you lacking sleep.
Not like the professors assign you much.
A bit of a whiny brat. Used to be hella spoiled when she was younger so she’s a lot more outspoken when it comes to your sexual escapades. This leads to you beating her up the most out of everyone in the harem.
Popular! Reader is the only one who knows she’s a trans and is surprisingly very respectful about that part about her.
The two of you are mostly amicable.
Horni Levels: Pretty normal for a young adult. Loves to tease you by showing more skin sometimes. Though she always covers up when anyone else is in the picture.
Her hella religious upbringing made her pretty conservative about sex and all that but it’s often balls to the wall when they see you. Literally. Never knew she was into pegging til you took her one day.
How popular! reader feels about her? Mostly a means to an end. She’s the least careful when it comes to her simpery. It gets tiring having to discipline her every time but the angry sex makes up for it.
This one will be short since I plan on him and the rest to be minor characters. Nobody knows how Ricardo Peralta [yan! president] became the President with how much he hates your ass.
People who voted for him were probably like. ‘If a person who doesn’t even want [Y/N] became president. We won’t have a threat.’
Jokes on them he has more notes on you than the entire student body combined.
Boy is the Candace to your Phineas/Ferb. His entire mission is to bust your ass. (and for you to bust a nut in his-)
…
You don’t even know he exists.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU.
It was almost as if you were made to be the apple of everyone’s eye. Not one person in campus could remember a time where they didn’t know you.
No, it was more like they didn’t want to. Why imagine a terrible era such as that?
A lot of the students from the college are spoiled brats that absolutely adored how cut throat you were. How you weren’t afraid to put them in their place unlike those push-overs they usually meet. Some were just drawn to your charisma and confidence.
Or well, just general fuckability.
People think you’re also rich but you just get a lot of stuff from the students with money.
Your birthday is a bloodbath and a half. You started celebrating it alone so that people wouldn’t see your reactions to the gifts. Both because you wanted to keep them guessing and ‘cause the person whose gift is liked will probably get murdered.
You have to routinely check for cameras or tracking devices.
It takes you every bit of your self control not to just twerk in front of the camera if not give it the finger by fucking someone who you know is innocent right in front of it. They don’t even get to see you properly in the angle.
You strategically use pussy as both a punishment and incentive.
It’s super effective!
It’s super effective.
You often use pussy to discipline or incentivize your harem. It’s super effective. At least, considering you haven’t been kidnapped and/or killed yet.
You’re a bit of a sadist.
Yeah you’re a bit of a sadist.
Popular! Reader uses pussy a lot to keep everyone in check. You’re used to giving your body away to get what you want that you’ve become numb to it.
No one is normal in this College. Not even you.
You don’t even know he exists.
#hns.ask💌#Midnight Darling 💋#ricardo was named after a street cat we adopted whose fur color basically makes him invisible#the cat in turn was named after that ricardo from that one filipino teleserye#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere ocs#yandere ocs x reader#yandere college ocs#yandere college characters#yandere imagine#yandere imagines#yandere fic#x reader#yandere harem#yandere harem x reader#yandere various x reader#harem x reader#various x reader#harem imagine#yandere blurbs#yandere headcannons#yandere drabble#yandere college headcannons
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Wicked Fantasies Part 11.1 (MBJ x OC)
A/N: Ummm so welcome backkk! This is 11.1 because there's a second part to this chapter (I know... my self control keeps getting worse lolol) But I hope you enjoy!
TW: grief
“I’m never fucking drinking again,” Raven moaned to herself as she stumbled out of the comforts of bed. She felt like hell, if hell had a truck run over its head a few dozen times.
Raven generally considered herself an early riser but nothing could pull her out of bed that morning after what was, objectively, the dumbest night of her life. Part of her wished she had had one or two more drinks so she could have officially transitioned into the ‘blackout drunk’ phase. So that she would, at least, be spared the embarrassing memories. But no, every horrible moment of the night from dancing wildly at the bar to Michael saving her was etched into the crevices of her brain with shocking clarity.
Now, it was after noon and Raven still found herself wanting to be curled under her blanket asleep so she could escape her embarrassment.
A knock at the door pulled her out of her wallowing self pity. She did not make an attempt to move, expecting Tiffany to answer. However, when the voice of their landlord rang out and her knocking persisted, she quickly slid on her robe to open the door. She decided Mrs. Winters would have to get over the fact that she looked like death reincarnated.
“Rough night, dear?”
Raven grimaced for a moment, she did indeed look as terrible as she felt.
“Something like that,” Raven offered a tight smile, her body slumping against the door. “W-what can I do for you, Mrs. Winters?”
“Oh I’m just letting everyone know that we had a pipe burst on the floor above. We’ll have folks in and out and you might hear some noise and stuff. But if you see any leaking into your unit, give me a ring?”
“Of course. Will do. Thanks, have a good one,” Raven tried her best to politely shoo the woman away. However, she lingered.
“Oh I meant to tell you, that boyfriend of yours is just such a good egg. So kind and polite. Admittedly I haven’t met many famous people,” she laughed. “But you just don’t expect them to have such good manners, you know?”
Raven stopped. “My boyfriend?? Sorry… When was he here?”
“He stopped by this morning. Gave me a check for your rent for the rest of your lease. Oh and asked where your mailbox was, said he wanted to drop something in it.”
Raven was worried her jaw might come completely unhinged as the woman spoke.
He did what??
“Are you alright, dear??”
“Y-Yea, yea. Just… a bit of a surprise. Thank you.”
And with that, Raven immediately closed the door, not listening to the elderly woman’s reply.
“This nigga… I hate him,” she muttered to herself as she slumped against her door.
Every cell in her body knew that was not true. But she also knew that everything she had told him last night was still accurate. She was too tired to forgive him and not just him… anyone ever again. The world has used up all of her second chances and she did not have it in her heart to be disappointed by him again. The narrative in her brain was so set in stone, she did not think anything he could say or do would make her believe anything else. She could not even make herself go retrieve the note that was apparently waiting for her in her mailbox.
“Such a coward,” she grumbled as she flopped back into bed.
She stared at her phone for several minutes, her text thread with Michael open. She wondered what she could even say? Thank you?
She knew any conversations demanding she pay him back or he rescind the money would be moot. Even if she had the mental fortitude to argue with him right now, she would still lose. But she could not just accept it without trying to push back.
She typed and erased and typed and erased before lamely landing on:
Raven: You can’t pay my entire rent. I can’t accept that.
Raven: I don’t want that.
Michael: Yea you can. Told you… gonna show up every day tryin’ to fix us. You just gotta let me.
Raven: Money isn’t gonna fix this, Michael.
Michael: I know. But it can fix the tangible things I fucked up for you
Michael: So let me fix that for you.
Raven paused, as a warm sensation filled her, a warmth she had not felt in over a month now. The warmth of being cared for. She had never had someone take care of her without wanting something in return, except Michael. Even when their relationship was built on transactions, he still took care of her without needing or asking for something from her. The book deal, her rent were just the tangible examples of how he had stepped up to right the wrongs he could and she could not deny that those actions meant something, softened something inside her.
He was doing exactly what he promised he would do the night before. He was fixing what could be, he was showing with his actions that she meant something to him. And yet, that blockade that stopped that belief from taking root was still there, still prohibiting her from believing these actions were anything more than a skilled manipulation.
He would draw her back in, he would not change, and when he got ready, he would hurt her again. That’s what everyone in her life did.
Raven: It doesn’t change anything
Michael: I know… didn’t expect it to.
She tossed her phone to the side and grabbed her pillow, screaming into it as her frustration got the better of her. The complex web of conflicting feelings with Michael B. Jordan trapped at its center only continued to grow. She wanted him to let her go, to stop caring and trying and going out of his way for her because that fit into the narrative nailed to the cross of her brain, it would confirm her beliefs and fears.
But instead he continued to do the things that made her fall in love with him the first time, things that only reignited the dimmed but still existent flame that was her love for him. And she knew she would never get over him if she kept letting that happen, kept letting him in.
So she did not even respond. Instead, she just closed the thread and tossed her phone to the side.
“Let him go, Rae,” she demanded to herself. “You don’t deserve him and he doesn’t love you.” She repeated that a few times before it felt real again, before all that had started to soften was once again as solid as a block of ice.
***
“You look like shit,” Alex moaned as she watched Michael’s makeup artist, Shanta, struggle to make him look less like a living zombie ahead of his Oprah interview.
They were tucked away in a suite in Oprah's sprawling LA estate. It was difficult to make Michael feel poor but Oprah was certainly one of the few people in the world who could do so.
“Thanks, appreciate that.”
“You know I don’t believe in lying to you. Make sure you get those bags under his eyes,” she instructed. “Alright, this is it. Final stretch. Movie’s out and every review is stellar so far. Do this interview, it’ll air this week, Oscars on Sunday and then you can sleep. Though I bet it’s not the schedule keeping you up? Talked to her since the premiere?”
Michael forced his body not to sag at the mention of Raven as to not disturb the hard work of the woman trying to make him look alive after days of no sleep.
“She texted me about the rent thing the next morning. But it’s been radio silence ever since.”
It had only been a few days since the fiasco after the premiere but Michael’s concern for Raven had not diminished one bit. He could not let her go as she requested but he tried his hardest to respect her desire for space. His heart was stuck in the quicksand that was Raven and he had no desire to pull himself out. He wanted to be right there. He knew eventually he would have to accept defeat, accept that she had moved on. But he could not do it while she still questioned her own deservedness. She could hate him for the rest of his life, it would be her right. But his soul could not allow her to live thinking so lowly of herself. So if he had to pay 30 years of rent or call in favors to make her life easier and make her see that she deserved care and someone to sacrifice for her, he would do it. It was high time someone in her life put her above themselves.
“Well, at least she talked to you. That’s something. You’re doing what she asked. Sis has lived a life, she needs time and space. Keep doing what you're doing. Except for the no sleep. For the love of God, by the Oscars, please get a good night’s rest. That’s your night.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Alex…”
She scoffed. “You’ve won the big four, Mike. It’s not just because I believe you deserve it… Statistically, Best Actor is yours. The Oscars is your night. Have a little faith in yourself.”
“I hear you. I just don’t wann-”
“Excuse me?” A young man poked his head in the door. “Apologies for interrupting. I’m a PA. Just wanted to let you know that we’re almost ready? I can take you out to the garden when you’re ready.”
“Be right out. Thank you,” Alex called.
Shanta did her last quick finishing touches before Alex gave him her customary once over.
“Shanta, my girl, you’re a miracle worker per usual.”
They both offered Shanta their thanks, Michael rolling his shoulders before heading out the door to walk out to the gardens.
He had met and interviewed with Oprah once before so he was not particularly nervous. But despite having done millions of interviews, there was always a kernel of nerves right beforehand that he could just never shake.
He was dressed in slacks and a light black sweater, thankful for a cooler day as he walked out into her expansive gardens where the Oprah Winfrey waited for him. The cameras were already rolling, capturing footage that may or may not make into the hour-long special.
“The man of the hour!” she called, her arms stretched wide to wrap Michael in a hug. “Actually I think man of the year is more appropriate. Welcome. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you here.”
“Thank you, thank you. It’s so good to be here.”
“Have a seat,” she gestured at the very comfy chair across from hers. “And we can jump right in.”
***
Raven’s head was propped against her fist as she stared at her computer. A sentence. That was the grand total of her hard work for that Wednesday afternoon. But it was something, she supposed. Weeks of hard work had amounted to maybe two or three pages of her book. She had been offering Angelina vague answers on her progress, ducking and dodging her to avoid admitting that there was no way in hell she could have a draft by March 15 like they talked about.
“Rae? You busy?”
She turned in her chair toward the door to find Tiffany’s head poking in.
“Nope… I’ll never be busy again at this rate,” she grumbled. “What’s up?”
“I just turned on the interview… if you want to watch?”
Raven scratched her head, unsure if she could even watch him? See him happy and thriving without her? Despite everything happening between them though, she could not pretend there was not a part of her that still wanted to celebrate this moment in his career. Interviewing with Oprah the week he was poised to win his first Oscar? How could she ever forgive herself if she did not watch this? Even if it hurts?
“I’ll… be there in a sec. Thanks, Tiff.”
Raven let out a deep sigh before she grabbed the blanket off her bed and dragged herself to the living room. The interview had already started and he looked gorgeous. Tired, she could tell, in the way he constantly had to readjust his posture, in the bags under his eyes that the makeup artist could not quite fully cover. But even at his worst, he looked captivatingly good.
Raven found herself studying him so intently that she did not even comprehend the words he and Oprah were sharing. She just watched him and his mannerisms, she focused on the glimmer in his eyes that sparked every so often. She missed looking into his eyes, missed how expressive they were.
This moment only amplified how much she missed him, missed hearing the deep baritone in his voice and the spark in his eyes when he spoke about his passions. She missed his bright and uninhibited laughter, how his hands were always on her in some way. She just missed him. But she had pushed him away, had told him to let her go. And even if he had not fully let go of her yet, she felt too scared to open that door again, even if her soul ached for her to. Particularly when he continued to try to show up for her in small ways.
And despite how angry she still wanted to be at him, she had never had anyone show up for her quite like this… try for her like he did. And everyday, her brain took up far more mental space than it should have, debating whether she should follow her foolish heart and forgive him or listen to her logical brain and cast him aside. Days passed and she still did not know the answer.
“So I’ll admit,” Raven’s ears finally started to pick up the conversation between Oprah and Michael, “I watched Waves more times than appropriate. But Gayle and I saw it at Sundance and we both thought it was just the most heartbreaking and poignant look at loss and grief that we had ever seen. While still being engaging and funny and so relatable. The journey your character goes through is just… I mean I think grief is one of the few universal experiences that we all will have at some point. And you really brought that to life through this character and his struggles with addiction. And the fact that you filmed this while engaged in completely different projects with complex characters like Killmonger in Black Panther and Adonis in Creed 3… I’m curious what you pulled from to give that performance?”
Michael shifted in his seat as he chuckled, Raven had missed how passionate he got about this project, even though he had been talking about it and doing press for it since they first started dating. She knew he had not truly expected the role to blow up in the ways it did but she could tell he was grateful for it, nonetheless.
“Well first, thank you. Yea aside from Oscar Grant, Andre was the hardest character I’ve ever played and he stretched me as an actor in ways, you know, I didn’t really expect? And I learned so much from him in his sort of journey through grief. You know, when I read the first script, the line ‘grief is the final stage in love’s evolution,’ really stuck out to me. When you lose someone, grief, this enduring pain you feel, is that love shifting and changing because it has nowhere to go, there’s no outlet for it anymore. And so, Andre really reframed my own thoughts on grief and loss and how I process that and allowed me to pull from personal experiences with loss to pour into that character.”
“Yea I will say, that line was one of my favorites. I sat with that long after the credits rolled.”
“Yea same. I remember sitting a-and thinking about that one for a while after reading it. And I loved that even in the more comedic moments of this movie, we still had those lines that made you wanna stop and really sit with what the characters were going through.”
“Definitely, I was dissecting this movie for weeks after. It’s just amazing. So I do want to shift gears to talk about this moment you're experiencing because of this movie. This really is the biggest moment of your career. You’re nominated for your first Oscar and a favorite to win, so far in 2023, you’ve won a SAG Award, Golden Globe, and BAFTA. And you, as of two days ago, just had your directorial debut in Creed 3. First question, how are you still awake?” Both of them shared a laugh. “But serious question, how has this moment felt? How does it feel to be having this moment at this stage of your career?”
“Oh wow, when you list it like that, I don’t know how I’m awake either,” he chuckled. “But seriously, you know… it’s been a ride. I know you’ve felt this too but you know, you don’t often take a moment to just pause and soak it in. You finish one interview or award show and your mind automatically just jumps to the next one. And I think what I’ve been trying to force myself to do in the later weeks of this insane time is just to slow down and enjoy it. Not rush through it and really enjoy the fruits of… really years of hard work and sacrifice. But that also means sitting with… you know, the challenges of this time too, which isn’t as rewarding,” he admitted with a sad smile. “But I’m growing and learning alot so it’s worth it.”
Oprah nodded. “You know I always appreciate when people don’t let the 24 hour news cycle and gossip sort of steal their thunder and moment from them. And I applaud you for sort of moving through the more gossipy side of the last few months with grace and maturity. But you haven’t really talked much publicly about those stories and the effect they have had on you. And you don’t have to get into it if you don’t want but I am curious on how you navigated that and really came out on the other side, from what I can see, stronger for it?”
Michael bowed his head and chuckled. “Um… you know a good friend of mine told me that she thought this was the most vulnerable and most genuine I had ever been publicly on this press tour and I think it’s because I’ve had to navigate some really personal stuff during this great but hectic public moment? And that’s new territory for me.”
“And I think that friend is right. I don’t think we have seen or learned this much about you ever.”
“Yea and I wish I could take some credit for it but… it was all one person: Raven Turner. And the way we met, now as the world knows, was extremely unconventional and I can admit that our relationship started as a complete lie. A lie I thought would help me be seen as this serious, mature man my team was worried I wasn’t. And I wasn’t,” he admitted. “I was cold and guarded and not at all the best version of myself. And while I regret how we started and trying to fool the world into thinking I’m something I’m not, there isn’t a bone in my body that regrets falling in love with her.”
He leaned forward a bit as he spoke. “Because all those walls and barriers we build around ourselves to survive in this world of Hollywood? To endure the criticisms and insanity we deal with? She's the first woman to see me. Not the actor and the money and the fame but just me. And in that, she saved me… without trying or intending to. She just loved me and loving her, choosing her is the single greatest decision I ever made. And I hate how this moment has fallen on her, how my terrible decisions led to these pretty disgusting misogynistic attacks on her. And I think my biggest regret is putting someone as pure as her in the line of fire like that and not doing enough to protect her. And you know, I have to live with that, which is tough.”
“You know I’ve interviewed thousands of people in my career and while I believe you have to change for yourself and on your own, I also have found that the ones who love us, really love us, are often the most powerful catalysts for change in our lives. I’ve certainly seen and experienced that in my own life and it’s important to spotlight those who were that catalyst.”
“Oh 100%. Especially when, I think this version of me was always there? I was just too hurt to trust anyone with it, so no one saw it. I buried me under this facade I thought was better? But I fell in love with a woman who taught me that you can’t be guarded, you can’t shut down just because you’re hurt. Life is about getting up every day, being authentically you, and reaching out and loving and risking your heart every time. And sometimes you’ll get swatted away and sometimes you’ll get an embrace. But you just deny yourself love when you don’t show up at all. So I’ve been trying to live by that more lately. Because she showed me what real strength and courage looks like. And I want to have that, I want to lead with that.”
“Wow… you know people are going to watch this and I think, applaud that vulnerability. It’s refreshing to me because I don’t think our world incentivizes or encourages people to admit when they aren’t being their best selves. So I think for you to do that, at a moment when you’re at the top of your game, is commendable.”
“She deserves to know the positive effect she’s had on my life. To be celebrated for how she supported me. And you know it’s not just me? When we first started dating, I remember her one stipulation was that we couldn’t go out on Wednesday evenings because she hosted a book club for kids at the library she worked at. And that was the most important thing to her, being there for them. The day of our first date, she spent an hour delivering books and SAT prep books to those same kids she worked just because. There’s just a selflessness to her that is truly admirable. And I think while people are attacking her and calling her these vile names because she made a certain choice during a hard time, they should know who she really is. A woman that would drop everything to help you even when you don’t really deserve it. A woman who I’ve seen give others all she had because they needed it more even when she did not have a backup plan for herself. I could honestly talk about her for the rest of this interview because she deserves celebration far more than I ever could. Genuinely good people don’t always get the shine they deserve, they don’t always get the love and care they deserve because we can often take them for granted. But no one deserves to be celebrated more than her, to be celebrated loudly more than she does.”
“I love that… she seems like quite the woman.”
“She is… and I hope she knows that.”
“So tell me about…”
The words faded away as his words tumbled through Raven’s head. They clashed jarringly against every belief she had internalized about herself, like metal against metal. But she found herself wanting to believe him. Believe the words a section of the world just heard. She wanted to believe that what he saw in her, even over the course of six months, was who she truly was. Not this broken, damaged scapegoat life had fashioned her into.
There has to be more than this, right?
Tiffany nudged her with a box of tissues in her hand. Raven had not even realized she was crying but she accepted them gratefully.
“Don’t know how I still have tears over this man left,” she whispered as she wiped her eyes.
“I don’t think those tears are because of him, sis.”
Raven sniffled and grabbed another tissue. “You m-might be onto something. I can’t watch anymore. Night, Tiffany.”
However, before she reached her bedroom, she heard Tiffany call her name.
“I know what he did… sucks. And hurts. But that’s a man who loves you, Rae. More than anything. After that? The only person in the world who still won’t believe it is you.”
She turned around to face her, the back of her hand wiping away a few more stray tears. “You know he said the same thing?”
“Well, I generally don’t think actors are that smart,” Tiffany admitted with a laugh. “But he’s right about that. You deserve to believe good things about yourself, we all do.”
“Nothing good has ever lasted… I always ruin it somehow. I tried to believe I deserved him and life proved that I didn’t,” she answered, her voice small. “D-Don’t have it in me to try again.”
“Raven… I know we aren’t best friends or anything. But how many times have I watched you forgiven your dad and sister? Let them back in, try to make things right with them? Try to build the family you want?”
“Too many…”
“Right… So why does Michael only get one shot when you found the strength to give them 100? When he’s the one actually showing up for you? He’s the one who actually is trying to earn another chance?”
“It’s not that simple and you know it.”
“I know that the only person denying you happiness right now… is you. You push away the good people and things in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve it but no one would be here if you didn’t. Michael, the kids in your book club… me. I don’t keep signing leases with you because you’re a terrible person who ruins everything, no one has a gun to our heads, Rae. We’re here because you do deserve it.”
“Tiff…”
“Nope, shut up. This pity party is getting old and tired. It doesn’t matter what I think of you… or what Michael thinks or anyone out there.” She gestured toward the window. “All that matters is the narrative you’ve created and until you decide to believe something else, all you’re going to do is push people away and fuck up and self sabotage because it’s all you think you deserve. You gotta wake up and do some fucking work, girl. Cause until you figure out how to erase this narrative from your brain, you’ll never be happy. And you’ll never fall in love with anyone except for someone who treats you like crap. You’ll never build your own family. You’ll never finish your book or have another fulfilling career. You’ll just be stuck in this broken version of yourself alone… forever. And I’ve seen a few different versions of you over the last two years but this is by far the most pitiful.”
Raven had never heard Tiffany be so blunt. The words were biting but she could not deny that some of them rang true in her ears. And that was always the hardest information to hear.
“Damn… tell me how you really feel.”
“The soft gentle love wasn’t resonating clearly so had to go with a different tactic…. Just think about it. And once you fix all this shit and move to a mansion in the hills, don’t forget about me.” She winked at her, causing Raven’s jaw to drop slightly.
“How do you even know that’s gonna happen?”
She shrugged and grabbed the remote to press play, Raven not even noticing that she paused it.
“Just got a good feeling about the two of you. Now go so I can lust after him in peace while he's still single. Kidding! Kinda..."
Raven let out a small laugh as she shook her head. "I know you're not kidding. Night, Tiff.”
She slid into her bed, her only refuge of late, and stared at the ceiling. She was surprised she was not tired of looking at it by now. Michael and Tiffany’s words wrestled with her own thoughts for hours
What was her problem, really? It was not that what Michael did was unforgivable because it wasn’t. Some distant part of her, too quiet to break through the noise of her anger, always wondered if there was more to the story, believed that he had to have had some reason. But she was too angry to allow him to explain. It just became vicious ammunition that no one could ever love her or care about her… that she was the problem.
Well, that’s true… no one’s ever loved you. And everyone who does leaves.
She supposed her mother must have loved her, but she would never know. She would never feel it. And her grandmother’s love was so distant, so long ago, that it no longer felt tangible, was no longer a tether to anchor her self worth to something positive.
Instead, the only thing that tethered her sense of self worth to anything was her family’s disdain. Disdain that made her question what Michael could’ve seen in her, how he could ever love someone like her? That disdain which made it far easier to believe that what he did was proof that he did not love her than that he possibly did do it to protect her in some weird way. No other thought could live long enough in her brain to take hold.
And she did not know if doing what Tiffany suggested would fix that. There was not enough time in the world for her muster the courage to interrogate and confront the source of these feelings. She had hoped she would never have to see her family again. Some days, never felt like too soon.
But she knew she could not avoid it. They were the root cause, the narrative in her head was fueled and sustained by them. And screaming at them across the Thanksgiving table and never speaking to them again was not the closure she needed. She thought she had dropped the weight that was her family when she cut them off. But she was still dragging all the luggage they gave her around and it was time to give it back.
She knew her family did not want to see her either, knew it would be difficult to get them to even speak to her after everything. But she knew she had to try… because she knew there had to be more to life than this. That she had not been born to only suffer through life instead of live it. So she needed to confront her demons for herself, even if her relationship with them did not change one bit.
She grabbed her computer and her wallet. It was time to go home.
***
Raven’s eyes remained trained on her dad’s house across the street as she sat in her rental car. She was almost shocked that none of her family’s nosy neighbors had not called the police yet as she sat there for nearly an hour, summoning the courage to actually go inside.
She had felt so sure this was what she needed when she bought her plane ticket. And that confidence did not waver when she stepped onto the plane or during the long journey from LAX to Charlotte, NC. However, once she was in her rental car, she found herself waffling, aimlessly driving around for hours. Her brain seemed unable to direct her to the place she knew she needed to go. Home.
She just could not make herself do it… not yet anyway. So she did not. Instead, she finally went to her hotel to try to get some rest and her night’s rest turned into the entire Friday holed up in her hotel. She had not booked a return ticket, prayerful and hopeful that there would be a reason to stick around for a few days. But that also meant she did not have the incentive of time to make her move faster.
But she could not even make herself do this. Because she did not know how to be brave like this. Her life had been nothing but running from pain and confrontation. This was so contrary to that. She did not know how to do any of this. She tossed and turned all night, unable to get any sleep particularly when there was only one person who she wanted to talk to, wanted to seek courage and strength from. Because when she felt scared, when she did not feel strong, he was the only person she wanted to reach for. But she was not sure he would even answer. She had pushed him away, told him she needed space.
But she had not felt like she could do this alone. So last night, she called him.
“Rae! Everything ok?” he asked immediately, his question met with silence.
Raven did not know what to say and regret filled her like ice water in her veins. But she knew it was too late to hang up, she had to see it through. She paid for that moment of weakness when she hit the call button as her throat closed at the sound of her voice. She found it impossible to speak, even if she knew what words to say.
“I’ll wait until you’re ready, Rae. Got all night for you.”
And she knew he was not just talking about waiting for her to speak.
“Why?” she whispered, the simple word coming out in a strangled sound as she tried to push past the tightness in her throat.
“Why what?”
“Why even answer after everything I said to you? W-why do you keep trying?”
“Because I love you,” he answered simply. “And you’re worth it. I’ll keep reaching out, baby girl. Even when you swat me away.”
“You might be the only person who thinks that,” she whispered back as a tear fell.
“I don’t think that’s true. But even if it was, knowing one person is in your corner is all you need sometimes.”
She laughed lightly. “That press tour got you only speaking in motivational boxing terms or something?”
His deep laughter filled her ears and filled her soul with such joy that she had forgotten. She had forgotten what these moments felt like, the two of them on the phone or curled up together in bed, just talking. She missed it… she missed him. But she could not say it, could not bring herself to pull her body out of the water to make that long trek back up the cliff to where he waited for her. Everything in her brain screamed at her that she couldn’t do it, that she did not have it in her. And she hated herself for it. Hated how she clung to the ice barriers around her heart, even though they were utterly fractured and ready to fall. She just was not ready yet.
She let out a shuddering breath as she hastily wiped away her falling tears. “I… don’t know why I called. I s-shouldn’t have called.”
“Call me anytime, Rae. I’ll always answer. I’ll always show up for you. I hope you know that… at least.”
“Y-Yea… I think I do… or at least, it’s getting harder to deny it,” she revealed. “Your interview with Oprah… it was really good,” she offered lamely.
“You watched??” she could hear the surprise in his voice.
“Yea… I almost didn’t,” she admitted. “But I caught most of it. Did you mean it? Everything you said?”
“Every single word.” There was no arguing with the definitive tone in his voice. “I get that you don’t trust me anymore. I lied and kept secrets. But one thing I never lied about is how much I love you.”
Her eyes clenched shut for a moment. That was one thing he had always been consistent about, her ears had just been perpetually shut to it.
“I… um… I gotta go. Early day tomorrow,” she lied as she sniffled. “I’m sorry for bothering you. Bye, Michael.”
She was not sure what she had expected to get from that call and, at first, it felt as if she only got a firm kick in the heart for it. But for the first time since she landed, Raven had enough strength to finally drive to her family’s house. She had rolled her eyes at his boxing motivational quotes but hearing someone say they were in her corner, that had given her courage. To just feel like someone was behind her, even if she was alone, that meant something to her.
She took a deep breath and got out of her car, forcing her legs to carry her to the front door.
Her rounds of knocks went unanswered, Raven getting slightly frustrated but determined not to leave the porch. If she turned around and walked away, she’d never come back.
After an extremely brief internal debate, she decided to simply let herself in, deciding that since she contributed to the mortgage, she had a right to come in as she pleased. And her father still, foolishly, kept a spare key underneath the welcome mat.
Though she had not been to her family’s home in two years or so, it still looked the same. Her father’s favorite work boots were thrown haphazardly at the door, several pairs of her sister’s shoes lined up next to them. She was an utter mess but she was, at least, somewhat neat. And it still felt… cold. And it had nothing to do with the cold winter east coast weather. The house had always felt like that, void of warmth and love that made a home a home.
“Kiara?” she called out. “Dad?” However, she was met with utter silence.
Part of her supposed she was thankful they were not home and that they had not just ignored her or something. She stood in the living room, staring around the room at the pictures that lined the walls and shelves. So many of her mom, her dad, and Kiara but there were none of her. That was not a surprise, it had always been that way. But that did not make it sting any less. All they had ever wanted was to erase her from their lives and if a stranger walked into this house, it would be as if she never existed.
She started up the stairs, her eyes refusing to linger long on any of the photos there. They were all lies anyway, a picture perfect family that did not exist because she had been born. She decided to ascend to the attic once she made it upstairs. Because that was where all her grandmother’s and some of her own things now lived. She had never really gone through her grandmother’s things after she passed, no one aside from her dad to pack them up. But she knew there was so much of their lives, so many memories she had forgotten of the one person who loved her, forgotten in those boxes that she now desperately needed to remember.
She ignored how narrow the opening to the attic was, realizing that it had been easier to maneuver up here when she was a young teenager. Everything was still neatly packed away as if her grandmother would be back one day to pick it up.
She started to open each box, pulling out and examining her grandmother’s things, so many beautiful things forgotten in this attic no one went into. For the first time in nearly two decades, she felt close to the only maternal figure she had ever had, felt like her grandmother’s hand was on her shoulder as she reminisced on their short but well-lived time together.
She found the old costume jewelry her grandmother used to let her play with, laughing to herself as she thought back to dressing up in front of her vanity mirror pretending to be a model or whatever silly idea the pair had thought up. She almost cried as she found a very crumpled piece of paper with the last story she gave her grandmother to read before she died, a random short story that she had written for class. She had not realized, as she found a folder, just how many of her stories her grandmother had kept.
A gold glint caught her attention, Raven reaching into a giant box to find a shoe box. Raven had seen that box 100 times but her grandmother had never let her touch it, claiming that it held priceless family heirlooms that she did not want Raven or Kiara to mess up. Raven rolled her eyes that something her grandmother had valued so much had been discarded and forgotten haphazardly at the bottom of this box.
Finally giving into her childhood curiosity, she opened it. It was still filled with things, part of her thankful that Kiara had never found it. The jewelry and pieces in it were gorgeous and indeed priceless. She took her time as she examined each one, wondering if they had belonged to her mother or her grandmother or some other relative she never met. However, it was what existed underneath the jewelry that caught her eye: piles of tied up envelopes, one with her name on it and one with Kiara’s.
The handwriting was not her grandmother’s, which made Raven even more curious.
She pulled out the stack with her name on it and undid the thin ribbon that tied them together. There were ten letters there in total, each one with a different note scribbled on the envelope.
To Raven on your 18th birthday
To Raven on high school graduation
To Raven after your first love
To Raven after your first heartbreak
To Raven on college graduation
To Raven on your wedding day
She only had to flip through a few of them to realize who they were from. Her mom.
“You’re killing me,” she muttered to the sky, unsure if she was speaking to God, her grandmother, her mother or all three.
Her hands trembled slightly as she ripped open the one on top, addressed to her on her 18th birthday. These were some of the only words her mother would get to say to her, she did not care how long ago she should have read it. She would savor each one.
To my sweet darling girl,
If you are reading this, it means that I am not physically there with you on your birthday. It means that I’ve missed 18 birthdays and too many milestones to write a letter for and for that, I am sorry. You might be wondering why there is not a letter for all those milestones and birthdays that have taken place but this felt like the best place to start and the appropriate age for reading the musings of a dying woman. If there’s even such a thing.
We learned your gender today. Another sweet girl. If the doctor somehow got it wrong, these letters will be incredibly awkward. But I know they are right. Because you, my darling girl, are the manifestation of my wildest dreams. I dreamed of you almost a year ago, this beautiful girl with half my face but all of my spirit and personality. And every night since then, I prayed, begged God to make that dream a reality… no matter the cost. And he did.
I know my body is not strong enough to be your mother, to be around to be the mother someone as brilliant as you will deserve. But I hope you know that deciding to have you and keep you, regardless of the risks, is the single greatest decision I ever made. You were not an accident or a misfortune given to me. You are my dreams. And if my last moments on this earth are spent looking at you, it will have been worth it.
I waited until 18 to start these letters because I worried a child could never understand the choice I made. And you may still not. And if you resent me for leaving you before you could know me, I understand that too. But I hope that through these letters, you will get to know me. And you will feel some semblance of the immense love I have for you.
I don’t have much advice because you’ve likely heard it all at this point. But the two most important things I can tell you, that I wish someone had told 18 year old me, is to know that failure is part of the journey. Your grandmother used to always tell me to keep reaching out your hand even if it doesn’t work. I didn’t really understand it soon enough but I hope you do. Life is about risks and if you don’t reach out your hand out of fear, you’ll protect yourself from pain but you will also miss out on the gifts God is trying to hand you. As a daughter, I hated to admit it, but mama was right about that… and so many other things.
And finally, more importantly than anything else I could offer you in these letters, please remember every day that you are so, so loved.
Know that regardless of what happened to me, I loved you with every fiber of my being until my last breath. Know that you were a gift from God. And every day you venture out into this world, know that you are worthy of so much because you were so loved from the moment you were dreamed up. Do not let anyone or whatever will happen to you in what I pray is a long, rich, happy life diminish that light, diminish your worth. I know how special you are and I don’t even know your name yet. And while I hope that your father and grandmother will affirm you daily, you don’t need other people to tell you that you are special. You have to know it for yourself. That’s the most important advice I can give you. Know who you are and your worth and take up as much space in this world as you want. And as long as you never forget how special you are… how deserving you are, you’ll move through this world shining bright. And the world will be forced to know it too and move to give you what you deserve. It’s not much and a bit cliche perhaps but I’ve been torn down enough to know that sometimes we all need the reminder. But those are stories for another letter.
By the time I write my next letter, I promise I will have picked out a name for you. I read a book the other day where the main character was named Raven… I had not thought of it before but I like it.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mom
The river of tears streaming down Raven’s face splashed against the slanted handwriting on the page, Raven quickly whisking them away so the words would remain legible. Raven did not even know how long she sat there staring at the words on the page, her heart bursting with the knowledge that her mother’s hand had touched this very paper, that she had poured her heart and soul into every word etched into it.
It was like proof she had been real and not this entity Raven had conjured up in her head. Raven could not stop herself from ripping open all the ones that she should have gotten along the way. The one for her first love and the separate one on heartbreak were four pages each, and Raven did not pay attention to the clock as she absorbed each and every word.
Everything she had learned about her mother had been through her grandmother and she had always wondered if her grandmother told her things just to make her feel better. But she realized that her grandmother had been telling the truth, she and her mother were so much alike. She found herself nodding and laughing along to her mother’s stories and wisdom embedded in all those pages. She was a prolific storyteller too and an amazing writer, another trait Raven realized she must have inherited from her.
For the first time in 30 years, Raven did not feel weighed down by this unbearable guilt. She felt lighter than she had ever been in her entire life. Perhaps this was what God wanted her to find here, not a confrontation with her family, but these words. This tangible proof that her mother had chosen her, wanted her… loved her and that she had not ruined anything at all.
Her mother would not have wanted her to carry such guilt around for so long because there was nothing to be guilty about.
The letters were scattered across the attic floor when she heard the faint sound of their garage opening. She quickly folded up all of her letters and stuffed them back into the box, tucking it under her arm as she climbed out of the attic. She did not make much noise as she closed up the attic, just as she heard her father and sister close the garage door and enter the kitchen.
Their voices drifted up to her ears as she started to climb down the stairs, deciding that she might as well get the pure unpleasantness of this moment over with.
“Wait… you hear that? Is someone in the house??” she heard her sister ask, knowing that they both could hear her footsteps against the old floorboards.
“Don’t get your gun,” she called out as she started down the stairs. “It’s just me.”
She was greeted with less-than-welcoming expressions from her family, such disdain that it made her want to scurry away. But she did not. She had done enough of that in her life.
“Adding breaking and entering to your criminal activity, now?”
Raven scoffed as she placed the box on the kitchen counter that stood between her and her family.
“Don’t think you can break into a house you helped pay for?” she answered coolly. “And I’m not the one with a mug shot here if I remember correctly.”
“No you’re just the one who sold her cheap ass for a quick buck.”
Raven shook her head, opening and closing her mouth for a few moments as she tried to find the words.
“Yea I did… And I’m not proud of it,” Raven admitted. “But I won’t let you or anyone shame me for doing what I needed to do to survive. What helped the two of you survive too.” Raven scratched her head, realizing that trying to get closure from her family was unnecessary. Her mother’s words had given her all the closure she had ever needed. That’s what she had come home for.
“You know, I got a plane ready to rip you both a new one for 30 years of abuse and torture. To try to force you to admit that I’m not the villain you made me to be. But… I don’t need that anymore. Because the cross of guilt and shame you two forced onto my back for all these years isn’t one I should have to carry. But I did because I thought it was the only way to keep you two around. And even without you two in my life, I still drag that cross around because I thought I deserved it. But I realized today, way too late, that I don’t need a damn thing from either of you to put it down.”
“So you came here to what? To chastise us and steal?” her father asked, gesturing toward the box on the counter.
“You can’t steal things that belong to you. These are letters mom wrote to me,” she lifted the open letters out before sliding the unopened pile to her sister. “And to you.”
“Your mother wrote these?” he asked, his jaw tensing as he looked down at the stack.
“Yeah, she did. You’ll enjoy yours… she was a really good storyteller,” she glanced at Kiara. “These letters just told me something I should’ve realized long before Thanksgiving. That cross? That guilt? It isn’t mine. And I am done wasting my life trying to rectify the mistake of being born. Because it wasn’t a mistake. She chose me… prayed for a second daughter knowing the cost and she decided it was worth it. And hearing her say that? That’s all I need to know that I deserve so much more than this… so much more than you.” She took a deep breath. “Being a grieving husband isn’t an excuse to be a terrible father and I’ll just be grateful I found some way to survive you and this. And jealousy doesn’t give you the right to be a shitty sister.”
“What the fuck do I have to be jealous of??”
“I always wondered that. But reading those letters… I finally got it. Because even as a failed author and prostitute, I’m everything she was. Grandma used to always say I had her personality… her talent. I always thought she was lying to make me feel better. But you knew she wasn’t and you could never stand it. Couldn’t stand that I was more like her than you.” For the first time, her sister was speechless. A good look on her in Raven’s opinion. “Mom wanted so much better for me than this and I’m gonna go and find it. Because I’ve wasted too much energy trying to earn the love of people who don’t deserve it. So if you want to go to your graves hating me, making me the scapegoat for every problem in your miserable lives, have at it. But know that I don’t hate you even after all this. I won’t be weighed down anymore by any feelings toward either of you ever again. You aren’t worth it.”
Raven pulled herself to full height and rolled her shoulder back as she scooped up the box and folder she had taken from her grandmother’s stuff.
“Now I’m gonna go and have that long… rich and happy life mom wanted for me. And I hope you two do the same.”
She did not look behind her as she walked away, a soft smile on her face as she walked out of her family’s house for the last time.
She let out a long laugh as she sat in her car, so much of the weight she had been carrying around gone. It did not feel sad like when she cut off her family at Thanksgiving. She finally felt as if she had cut the anchor away and she could float away, she could move forward and heal all the broken pieces of herself that they had gleefully chipped away at.
When she got back to her hotel room, she just kept rereading her mom’s words. She would memorize each letter at this point. A part of her desperately wanted to open the other ones but she had not reached those milestones just yet so she left them where they were. For some reason, she worried her mother would disapprove of her breaking into them early.
One line of five letters she read and reread stuck to her bones above all else. And of course, as if her mother had known, it was embedded in the letter for her first love. Love… the thing that had cracked her wide open and brought her to this moment in the first place.
You’d be surprised to know that this was the hardest of the letters to write. Because everyone has some prolific idea of what love is and feels like. And I realized I don’t… because I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the love I pray you are as you read this. That’s not to say I don’t love your father, I do. But I want something different than convenience for you. I hope that the love you feel is safe, allows you to feel the full spectrum of what it means to be human - strong and vulnerable, insecure and confident, boisterous and timid. I hope it feels like stepping out of the cold air and into a warm embrace. I hope it is loud and unapologetic because you deserve nothing less. And I hope it makes you feel so enraptured that everything else in the world goes quiet. And lastly, I hope, more than anything, that it feels like home. That when you’re in this person’s embrace, you feel as if your soul finally landed right where it is supposed to be.
Her eyes scanned that passage over and over again, realizing that she had found the exact love her mother described. She had come back here thinking she was coming home. But this wasn’t home at all. Home was where he was. And he was back in LA, about to prepare for the biggest night of his life in 24 hours. And regardless of whatever trust needed to be rebuilt and conversations needed to be had, she could not allow herself to miss it. She could not allow herself to not show up for him.
Raven scrambled to find her phone as it was hidden beneath sheets of paper. She scrolled through, praying she had not deleted a long forgotten group thread that housed one number she had once thought she would never need but now was the most important phone number in the world.
She almost shouted praises to God when she found it, clicking the call button on the unsaved number. She paced up and down beside her bed as every agonizing ring dragged on.
“Didn’t think I’d see your name pop up on my phone ever again.”
Raven let out a sigh of relief as her voice filled her ears. “I know… me either. But I need a favor.”
“Does it involve a certain award show tomorrow night?”
“Yes. Is it too late?”
“Yea it is.” she knew Alex could hear the tiny sigh of sadness she let out. “For anyone but me. I’ve earned enough favors around here to create a miracle or two.”
“Really?? Cause I need like more than one or two miracles… a dress, hair, makeup… hell a flight from Charlotte to make it back in time. Without him knowing?”
“Consider all of it done. Hope you don’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn though.” Alex asked, Raven hearing the smile in her tone.
“For him… I’ll get up anytime.”
“Good. Then I'll take care of everything... I'll have to tell his mom but she'll love this. And probably be happy as hell that she doesn't have to go anymore. I'll text you details in an hour."
"An hour?? That's all you need??"
"You're new here so I'm gonna choose to not be offended by that."
"Noted." She was about to hang up when she stopped herself. “Hey… Alex? Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Just make sure your ass is on that plane and in LAX tomorrow when Allen picks you up, got it?”
Raven chuckled. “Yea I got it. See you tomorrow.”
Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154
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A/N: So now will y'all stop yelling at me LOLOL our good sis is going back to her man! We love to see it! How surprised do we think Michael's going to be? Part 11.2 will be the Oscars! Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! And as always, thanks for reading!
#black writers#michael b jordan#michael b jordan x oc#mbjordanedit#black panther#michael b jordan fanfic#michael b jordan x reader#creed 3#adonis creed#creed iii
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hii i hope ur well!! just wanna say i absolutely adore ur writing it's so addictive ahaha <33 here's a request i have, if u don't mind: so basically jin and the reader are in a relationship and jin was pretty confident with the relationship at the start, but he feels like after y/n met the other members they spend more time with each other than jin + y/n, and then one day something happens thats just the last straw for him so his jealousy is now visible + a hot make out sesh if u dont mind lmaoo
End of the Line ༓ KSJ (m)
✑ Summary: Your relationship with Seokjin hits a bumpy path when he notices you've been spending more time with his friends than him. It's an understatement to say your boyfriend has had enough of it.
pairing: seokjin x reader
au/genre: fluff, little bit of angst, some crack, suggestive smut, established relationship, drabble
rating: m, 18+
word count: 1,392
warnings: seokjin is jealous and a bit pompous lol, seokjin just wants oc to pay attention to him again 🥺, reference to super tuna bc I couldn't resist, also yeah some crack at first bc its Seokjin, swearing, light fighting, hot make out session as requested, ass gr*pping, manhandling, feat. jhs, myg, & kth
now playing: super tuna
a/n: This was very fun to write anon! 🤩 tysm for your kind words!! It means so much to me 💗 I really hope you like this ☺
You and Seokjin started out as friends—always accompanying the other to weddings, karaoke nights, nature walks, and even fishing trips. It was when Seokjin caught a super tuna on one of his trips to sea that you were beyond proud of him. You didn't hesitate at all to pull out your phone and take a picture of him with his catch.
Seokjin marks it as the day he knew he couldn't just stay friends with you, so he asked you out. It wasn't every day that he'd meet someone who'd get as excited over super tuna as he did after all.
'This tuna will not be released back into the water!' he promised to himself while smiling at the camera with you behind it.
Ever since that day you and Seokjin have been going out as a couple for three months. At first, the two of you were inseparable. You went on multiple dates a week; three at least.
But that all turned upside down when he took the plunge to introduce you to his inner circle, his main guys. Now whenever he asks about your day or your whereabouts you tell him you're out with Namjoon or hanging out with Jimin.
It couldn't be more obvious that you prefer spending time with his friends over him—your boyfriend. Well, he's World Wide Handsome, so whatever this thing is will end today.
Seokjin stands in front of his full-length bedroom mirror, plain white t-shirt, and classic denim jeans. The front pieces of his hair are pushed to either side of his face to make a clean middle part. "This should get her attention." He takes his phone from his pocket and snaps a mirror selfie. "I look damn good today." He sends the photo to you right after.
Seokjin: Having a good hair day, don't you think? [sent an image]
He eagerly waits for your response which typically only takes a few short minutes. But when the time on his phone jumps ahead twenty minutes without a reply, he just knows something's up.
Jagiya 😘: it's nice ❤😊
"Unbeliveable," he scoffs. "That's all you have to say?" Seokjin nearly glares at the screen as he types out a response.
Seokjin: Where are you? I miss you and want to see you 😞
Jagiya 😘: I'm home bby. We can go out if you want??
Seokjin lights up at this. He hasn't been able to see you all week between work schedules and oh yeah...you hanging out with his friends. The last part has him scowling. He's glad you get along with his buds and all but did you have to get so close to all of them?!
Seokjin: yes, come over as soon as you can! We can see a movie or go for lunch 😀
Jagiya: okay, I'll be there in half an hour.
Mission complete. Seokjin slips his phone back into his pocket and combs his slender fingers through his hair.
"Congratulations bro, your girlfriend's yours again!" He gives himself a pat over the shoulder then heads to the living room to wait for you.
When he hears fists pounding on his door he leaps to open it with a big grin plastered on his face.
"Hey hyung!" Seokjin's grin melts when he sees Hoseok, Yoongi, and Taehyung standing in the hallway outside his apartment. You're in between all of them, touching a little too close in his opinion. Seokjin tosses you a 'what the fuck' look instantly.
"Kook, Joon, and Jimin had other plans so they couldn't make it. The rest of us are free though. What movie are we seeing?" You say, oblivious to your error.
Seokjin doesn't reply but clutches your wrist and pulls you towards him, more aggressively than he meant. He then slams the door before the others can walk in.
"Seokjin! What the hell are you doing?" You shake your wrist from out of his grasp, bewildered by his sudden temperament.
"What am I doing? I'm asking you the same thing! I said I wanted to go out with you today, not the peanut gallery!"
"Hey, fuck you man!" On the other side of the door Yoongi cusses. Seokjin pays no attention to it as he's far too concerned with you.
"I'm sorry Jinnie—" you start, realizing he wanted this is be a date. "I ran into the guys on the way over and invited them because I thought we were just hanging out. The more the merrier..."
Seokjin's eyes widen, the vein in his neck slightly protruding. His eyebrows knit together too. "Hang out? Since when do we just hang out? Are you my girlfriend or not?"
"Of course I am—"
"Then why are you bringing them everywhere you go?! This isn't a polyamorous relationship, you know? We used to go out all the time but now I have to compete with five other men plus Jungkook!"
"Jungkook's a man!" Taehyung's baritone voice pipes.
"Shut up Tae, they're fighting in there," Hoseok shushes. "I really think we should leave. I feel odd standing out here."
"I second that," Yoongi turns to head to the elevator at the end of the hall.
"Oh, oh I think they're calming down now." Taehyung has his ear flushed against the apartment door. "I don't hear anything..."
"Yeah?" Hoseok leans his ear to the door too. Yoong watches them from a few feet away, arms crossed—he will not be one to fall into the door when it opens. "You're right," Hoseok speaks again. "It's dead silent in there."
From inside the apartment, Seokjin stares at you with his hands on his hips. His eyes rake up and down your body with a mix of pissed off and turned on. You look exceptionally stunning today, he observes.
"So this is all because you're jealous that I've been hanging out with your friends?"
"Yes, I'm jealous." Seokjin's hands fly up, further expressing his annoyance. "You're always too busy giggling with Jungkook or clinging onto Namjoon's biceps than going out with me, your boyfriend!"
"You are so exaggerating it. I'm just having some fun with them. And I'm not touching Namjoon's biceps so I don't know where that came from. Unless...." you narrow your eyes at the man. "You think they want to sleep with me don't you?"
"Well, why wouldn't they want you? Have you seen yourself?"
You'd be flattered by the compliment if you weren't already fuming at the fact your boyfriend is being so unbelievably unreasonable. "I can't believe you'd say that about your own friends Seokjin!" you say.
"I've known them longer than you have, so trust me. I know what I'm talking about okay?" Seokjin takes a deep breath. "I'm happy you're all friends. I just want to see you more..."
You sigh and walk up to him, hand reaching out to soothe him. "C'mon...we're just platonic. You know I love you right? I'd never do anything like that and they wouldn't either."
"I know. But fuck, you make me so crazy," he huffs and closes the distance with you. Rough hands press on your waist as he pulls you into himself. His plump lips lean down and kiss you with full force.
You let out a muffled whine and thread your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. "Seokjin-"
He shuts you up with his tongue that pushes into your mouth, licking every crevice he can find. He gives your ass a little squeeze too, before walking you backward and against the couch.
"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" You pant when you're given a breath.
"No," he says, forcing you to sit down on the soft cushions. "I'm still mad because it seems you've forgotten who your boyfriend is around here and need reminding."
"Oh, wait—" you say when he starts climbing on top of you until you have no choice but to lay on your back. "Shouldn't we deal with them first?" You flick your eyes to the door where the guys were still patiently waiting; eavesdropping more like.
Seokjin traces his thumb on the bottom of your lip with a dangerous smirk. "Well, you're the one who brought them here, didn't you? And they came for a movie, no?"
You slap his chest at his antics. "No, absolutely not. Get off me. I'll tell them to beat it myself."
a/n: hoping this was okay? Lmk 💗
Masterlist
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
#seokjin fluff#seokjin smut#seokjin angst#seokjin x reader#seokjin imagine#bts fluff#bts x reader#bts au#bts imagines#fic:endoftheline#kookslastbutton#requests
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The Forgotten Spaces | ch 14 (jjk)
☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?
☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in this chapter)
☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff
☆warnings: things might get emotional in this one, jungkook's photo exposition, oc's mom call once, laura is there but we don't care about that anymore, do we?, curse words, explicit content: mentions of pain kink and choking kink, dom!jk, brat!reader, hair pulling, oral sex (male and female receiving), mouth fucking, fingering, edging, unprotected sex (don't be stupid)
☆word count: 13k
☆series masterpost here
☆a/n: It's the last chapter and I am so so so emotional about it. The Forgotten Spaces was a journey, and I can't believe it's coming to an end. To think I started writing this in January... it's been forever. Thank you for reading me, for sending me all these asks and interacting with me so much over this fic. It means a lot! I hope you'll enjoy this last chapter just as much as you've enjoyed the others <3
☆a/n pt 2:Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3
☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces
☆☆☆☆☆
For this meeting of our end of the world
It's with you that I want to sing
On the threshold of the memories the dead of today
Them that breathe for us
The forgotten spaces
Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)
☆☆☆☆☆
Saturday, December 1st
You’ve been feeling Jungkook’s eyes darting to you almost every minute now, like he’s synchronized with the minute hand of a clock. You’re studying in your apartment, finals inching closer with every passing day. Yesterday evening, you went to buy a real Christmas tree, and the aroma of the branches has been playing with your nose since you sat down at the coffee table to study. Jungkook is sitting at the kitchen counter, and he’s long stopped looking at his laptop in front of him. The screen went black, but he doesn’t seem to care.
You catch his gaze when his eyes dart to you once more, and you cock an eyebrow in question. He chuckles, and his eyes slide to his dark screen.
“What’s up with you?” you ask.
He shrugs, and taps on the touchpad. His screen comes back to life, and he types in his password. “Nothing.”
You squint your eyes, glancing at the book you’ve been highlighting from. You reckon you could use a break, so you put the highlighter down, getting up from your spot to walk to where Jungkook is sitting.
“Doesn’t seem like it’s nothing,” you whisper, and you wrap your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder. He’s studying for his anatomy final, and you read along with him as you wait for him to reply.
He shrugs, and his tattooed hand shoots up to hold onto your wrist. He traces figures with his thumb on your skin, and turns his head to look at you.
“What do you want for Christmas?” he asks.
His question takes you by surprise. And you don’t know what you want, you’ve never had a boyfriend to get gifts from and give presents to.
A boyfriend… You haven’t used the label yet. At least not out loud. But you think both of you know without needing to say it.
“Mmh,” you hum. “I don’t know. I didn’t think we were doing presents.”
You can hear the frown in his voice when he speaks. “I want to treat you.”
You laugh, pressing a peck to the side of his neck. “Can I choose an activity instead of a gift? I like spending time with you.”
“You want me to take you out on a date?”
It’s not something you’ve been doing a lot. The honeymoon phase led to you spending more time alone, at your place. Never being able to get enough of the other, passion and desire leading the dance between you two. But you reckon you’d like to go on a date with him, to go to museums and laugh at the art together. To grab dinner with him in a fancy restaurant, and pretend you know anything about wine.
Well, you do, a little. But you’ve never seen Jungkook drinking wine before, which gives you an idea after all.
“What about a wine degustation? I’ve heard there’s a nice little winery just outside of the city.”
“I don’t drive, and I assume you’d want to drink, no?” he points out.
You press another kiss to his neck, and watch the goosebump forming on his skin. “We can go by train.”
He shifts a little, turning to fully look at you. “Alright then. I’ll take you to a nice winery, and I’ll get you some nice wine. That sounds like a good present for a good girl.”
“Kook,” you whine, and you pull away to punch him playfully on the shoulder. “You’re annoying.”
“You love me.”
You glare at him, as he just offers you that lopsided grin that makes you all giddy inside.
“Do I?”
He grabs your face, kisses your forehead and pulls away. “Yes.”
You hum, shrugging. “Maybe.”
He pouts, and you brush it away with your thumb. Your hand lingers on his cheek, and his face falls serious. You lean closer to kiss him softly and he melts under you. He pulls you so you’re in front of him instead of behind, as his lips work against yours.
You’ll never get tired of kissing him.
“What do you want for Christmas?” you ask once you’ve finally pulled away, and his forehead is resting against yours.
“I won’t be as cheesy as you,” he teasingly answers. “There’s this game I’ve wanted for a while? Maybe you could get me that. It’s multiplayer, we could try to play together?”
“Isn’t Tae your gaming buddy?” You’re teasing him, because in truth you’d love to game with him. You’ve liked watching him play so far, and you reckon playing with him could also be fun.
“You could be one too!” he insists. “We could get Jo to play with us, I’m sure she’d love it.”
You laugh, softly, before pecking his lips once more. “Sounds good. I’ll get the game for you.”
He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. His thighs are on each side of you, and you can’t resist but run your hands up and down, feeling his muscles.
“You’re the best.”
When he kisses you again, it feels different. More intense, languid, and you immediately know where it’s going to lead. You reckon you’ve wanted a break, and indulging in Jungkook seems like a good way to do it. So you let him press you against him, while you keep dragging your hands on his thighs.
He pulls away, and you move to his jaw, and then to his neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses behind. He breathes in sharply, tilting his head to give you better access.
“Should we go to your bedroom?” he breathlessly asks, and you nod while you suck a mark on his skin. He hisses, and his gaze is dark when you step away from him to head towards your bedroom.
He follows you, hand finding yours so you can pull him behind you. The moment you’re in your bedroom he loses all restraints, grabbing your face to crash his lips against yours. You think you can taste blood, but it’s hard to form coherent thoughts when he kisses you like that, like he’s been starved for so long. Like he needs you to replace the oxygen in his lungs and the blood in his veins.
It’s mind-numbing, and you hold onto his shirt, clutching it in your fists. You almost want to tear the fabric off his body, but you like his shirt – he looks good in it. You don’t want to ruin it. But the way he’s kissing you right now… you’re pretty sure he wants to ruin you. And you want to let him do it, want him to use you.
He’s good at it. Sex with him just keeps getting better and better, as you get to know each other’s body more every day. You know how he likes pain – whether it’s your nails digging in his back, your teeth in his shoulder, or your hand clutching his balls while you suck his dick. He knows you like it as well, especially when he chokes you or slaps your ass. It works well together, and you feel like he was made for you, through every aspect of your relationship.
Jungkook is perfect for you, and you’re going to show him right now.
You pull away from the kiss, immediately dropping to your knees. The impact on the hardwood floor hurts, but you’re already busy pulling his joggers down his legs. Jungkook’s tongue is poking at his cheek, the only indication that he wanted to be the one pleasing you, but he doesn’t resist. He brushes your hair over your shoulder, before tangling it into his firm grip.
He’s soft. The bulge in his boxers is already big though, even if you know it grows a lot whenever he gets hard. He watches you carefully as you pepper small kisses on him through his boxers, hands caressing his thighs. You follow the line of his scar on his left line, massaging it gently as you tease his dick with your teeth, looking up at him innocently.
“Take them off,” he commands, and you tilt your head to the side.
“Why should I?”
A storm passes in his eyes, and he pulls on your hair, once. It hurts, but you hold onto the smirk on your lips, because you like being a brat with him. It makes the sex ten times better.
“That’s how you want it to be, uh?”
You bite your lips as one of your hands moves to the bulge. You palm him, and he sits heavy in your hand. He’s growing semihard already, and when you press a kiss to the tip, you’re pretty sure you’ve tasted precum. Just to make sure, you lap at him, and a satisfied smirk grows on your lips when Jungkook hisses.
“Don’t tease,” he warns, pulling on your hair once more. “I want to see your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, mmh?”
“Do you?”
He clenches his jaw, tilting his head to the side. “And you want me to bring you out to a winery. Going to have to punish you first.”
“We both know you like it,” you tease.
His silence is answer enough, and you decide to finally give in to him. You hook your thumbs in his boxers, pulling them down in one swift motion. He steps out of them and kicks them somewhere in your room, while you look at his dick sitting prettily in front of your face.
He’s still just semihard. You’ll be able to deep throat him, and he sees it in your gaze as you grab the base of his dick.
“Be nice,” he warns. “Ease into it, baby.”
“Anything for you, Kook,” you purr, and then you dive in. Heading for one of his balls, sucking it in your mouth and twirling your tongue around it as you start jerking him off lazily, with not nearly enough pressure for what he likes.
He lets you do it only because you’re sucking on his ball, and when your teeth graze the sensitive organ, he pulls your head back so hard you actually wince.
“Sorry,” he immediately apologizes, releasing your hair. “Are you okay?”
You lick at his slit, tasting the precum. “I deserved it, uh? Don’t you want to punish me?”
“I…” he trails off when you suck hard on the tip once, hollowing your cheeks. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
You pull away. “You’re good, Kook, you know I like it rough. I’ll tell you to stop if it’s too much.”
He doesn’t need more to grab a handful of your hair again, pushing your head towards his dick. “Then be a good girl and suck my dick, baby.”
You smirk, before obeying. He’s already gotten a little harder, so you take most of what you can in your mouth, jerking off the part that doesn’t fit. You tease the underside of his dick with your tongue, before swallowing around him. He grunts, throwing his head back, and you watch his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows.
You keep at it for a while, feeling his dick getting harder and harder with every swipe of your tongue, every hollowing out of your cheeks. He’s grunting, breathing heavily, and it’s a melody to your ears. To know you’re the one pulling that out of him, the only one at that, makes you feel important.
“You want to take me all the way in?” he asks, voice dark and husky as his arousal starts to take over his mind. “I could fuck your mouth.”
That makes you pull away. “You could eat my pussy at the same time. Let’s see who’s going to come first.”
He smirks down at you. “We both know that’d be you. I already know you’re dripping for me.”
You are. You can’t lie. So you squeeze your thighs together, moaning softly before stuffing Jungkook’s cock in your mouth once again. You loosen up your throat, taking all of him in this time, and when he hits the back of your throat, you hold in the gag reflex.
His other hand finds your head too, and he holds you there, circling his hips slowly.
“Your mouth feels so fucking good,” he praises. “I’ll never get tired of it.”
And he doesn’t have to. You love sucking him dry, love swallowing his hot seed whenever he decides to come down your throat. You love pleasuring him, love everything when it comes to him.
Your eyes are tearing a little when Jungkook’s hips move back, but he still holds your head into place. When just his tip is still in your mouth, he says, “Can I fuck your mouth a little before we move to the bed?”
You nod, and he pushes back in, slowly. When he hits the back of your throat, you moan around him, and the grunt he lets out is heavenly.
And then he really starts fucking your mouth. Thrusting in and out, as your drool rolls on your chin. You just keep on moaning around him, trying to keep eye contact even though your eyes are tearing up more and more. Soon, his grunts morph into moans, and you almost think he’s going to come down your throat.
But he suddenly pulls away, his breathing ragged. “We got to stop here, I really want to fuck you.”
You pout. “I don’t mind you coming in my mouth.”
“After I’ve at least got to fuck you, babe. Then I’ll come down your throat and you’ll swallow everything for me.”
Mischief lights up your gaze as you nod, getting up. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
He’s back to kissing you in no time, his tongue assaulting your mouth. You suck on it as his hands grab at the meat of your ass, massaging it and forcing you to step impossibly close to him. His cock rests against your stomach, and you just want it to be buried inside of you already. So you force yourself to pull away from the kiss just long enough to say, “Bed?”
Jungkook nods, and then he picks you up swiftly. You giggle a little, because you know exactly what he’s going to do. And he does it, throwing you on your bed like your weight is nothing to him. You reckon you might seem weightless to him – he works out a lot, with the help of his physical therapist. It’s helped him with the pain in his leg, though he does sometimes complain about the itching and pulling of the scars still.
Whenever he does, you make sure to show him just how much you love his scars. And you think he’s started to love them too.
He takes off his shirt before joining you on the bed, hands pulling on your ankles to make you lie down. You yelp a little, mostly because it surprised you, but when he pulls your pants down, the yelp morphs into a small breathy sound. Especially as he presses soft kisses to the inside of your thigh once you’re naked, revering every inch of your skin. He’s left your panties on though, and you almost feel his gaze burning you through the fabric.
“You’ve soaked your panties,” he comments. “Always so ready for me.”
“I just want to have your cock buried in me,” you whine as his kisses move closer to your core.
He smirks against your skin, before softly biting into it. When you hiss, he uses his tongue to lap the sting away. “Then you shouldn’t have been a tease.”
You want to curse him, to tie him up on your bed so you can sit on him, so you can use his dick to pleasure yourself, but when he wraps his lips on your clit through your panties, you moan.
He’s quick to pull your panties to the side, tongue lapping at your entrance twice before he’s moved up to your clit. He draws circles on you, presses on the sensitive organ.
“You taste so good,” he praises. “So sweet.”
Your teeth dig in your bottom lip when he sucks hard. “Kook…”
“Baby.”
As if to reward you, one of his fingers finds your entrance. He teases it for a few seconds, before pushing in, ever so slowly. And then he arches it, finds the sweet spot that makes you see stars, and makes it his mission to make you come as quickly as he can. He pumps his finger, alternates pressing on your clit and sucking on it. A knot starts to form in your lower stomach, and he adds a second finger, adding scissoring motions to the ordeal.
That’s when you start moaning, unashamedly. Loudly, even though you think your neighbors might hear. You don’t care about that, just care about the feeling of the knot tightening and tightening inside of you. It’s about to snap when Jungkook entirely stops, pulling away from you, denying you the orgasm.
“You’ll come around my dick instead, uh?”
“Fuck,” you curse.
He’s only smirking, as he kneels between your legs. “Take off your shirt.”
You bite on your lower lip, sitting up just enough to pull on the fabric. Jungkook helps you, and when your breasts come into view he lets out an appreciative sigh.
“Always so fucking hot. I knew you weren’t wearing a bra.”
It’s your turn to smirk. “I know you like it when I don’t.”
“A good fucking girl indeed.” He bends down to kiss you stupid, and when you fall back on the bed he remains kneeling. His large hands cup your breasts, pushing them together. He seems to like what he sees, because he says, “One of these days I will have to fuck your breasts.”
You look down at yourself. “Don’t think I have enough for that to work.”
“Oh, trust me, baby. You’ve got plenty enough.”
On that note he aligns his dick with your entrance, holding your panties to the side once again. For some reason, he likes doing that. Fucking you while you’re still wearing your panties. Likes to ruin your underwear, until both of your juices are soaking them up.
Today is no different. He pushes all the way in, making your eyes fall shut at the sudden intrusion, and you moan loudly as he lets go of the panties to hold your waist instead.
“Now, you’re going to come around my dick, okay?” he tells you. “Tell me what to do to make you come.”
“Kook,” is all you can say as he pulls almost all the way out before fucking into you hard again. “My…” He starts going back and forth, quickly, and your mouth falls open on a broken moan. He’s stretching you wide open, and the usual burn only turns you on further, only brings back the knot in your stomach. You try to focus, and it takes you a few seconds before you’re able to form a sentence. “Rub on my clit,” you say.
He stills deep inside of you. “Ask nicely.”
“Please, Kook.” You reach down, about to do it yourself when he grabs your hands, before holding both of them over your head. When he’s sure you won’t touch yourself again, he starts fucking into you, and he does rub on your clit with his thumb. His touch is light at first, testing your sensitivity, and when you beg for him to go harder, he obeys, timing the motions of his thumb with the back and forth of his hips.
Your hands find purchase on a pillow over your head, and you clutch it tight as you feel the knot returning. With his free hand, Jungkook grabs your neck, holding you into place. And when he starts feeling your walls clenching on him, his fingers dig into your arteries.
“Come for me, baby.”
You choke out a moan, as the sensations suddenly grow tenfold, and then everything snaps inside of you. You cry out his name, and he relaxes his grip on your neck as you come undone, walls pulsing around his shaft. He stills deep inside of you, probably in an attempt to not come too, and when you’re finally coming down from the high, he meets your gaze.
“Still want to swallow my cum, mmh?”
“Kook, fuck.” You chuckle a little. “You’re ready to come already?”
His features grow even darker, and you watch as beads of sweat roll on his cheek and on the side of his neck. “Nah, I think I want to fuck you stupid some more.”
“Shit,” is all you have time to mutter before he’s going at it again. Quick, hard, and he pulls your legs on his shoulders to hit inside of you at a better angle. You’re soon a moaning mess again, and your walls clench around him some more. He holds your legs in place, fucking into you so hard you think he’s rearranging your guts. He’s a grunting mess, and you watch him for a few seconds. He looks so good fucking you like that, chest flushed red, inked arm wrapped around your legs. His other hand is on your hip, fingers digging in the supple skin. Some of his hair sticks to the sweat on his forehead, and if you weren’t focused on letting him pleasure himself, using your pussy, you’d reach out between you to brush the hair away.
But you don’t care right now. You’re fucked out, blissed by the orgasm you just had and the pleasure he’s still bringing to you. You’re still sane enough to think about his leg, to be concerned that it’s going to hurt later, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to care at all.
It takes a while before he slows down, and his movements are slow and languid when he speaks again. “I want to see your lips around my cock again.”
He lets go of your legs, pulling out of you. You miss him right away, but you want to pleasure him far more than you want him to be fucking you right now. So you get on all fours, before sitting back on your heels. Jungkook gets up, standing on the side of the bed, before holding out his hand for you to take.
You grab it, gently, and he pulls you closer to the side of the bed. Because it’s easier for him to come when he’s standing, and you know he’s holding the orgasm in already.
You sit on the side of the bed, before massaging his thighs once more. Eyes meeting his as he’s looking down at you, towering over you. You ignore his dick, but when he moves closer, tapping it on your lips, you can’t resist to lick at him.
All you taste on him is yourself, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on even more.
“Suck me, baby. I’m so close.”
“Fuck my mouth, then. Use me.”
“You think you can’t make me come?”
Oh, the little shit. You’re going to make him come just fine.
You look down, eyes following the vein on his dick. It’s glistening from your juices right now, and when you wrap your lips around his tip, you really do taste yourself. It’s a taste you’re getting used to, because Jungkook really does like to come down your throat.
You grab the base of his dick in one hand, using the other to palm at his balls. His insufferable smirk melts away as you start working on him, alternating sucking on his tip and playing with his frenulum with your tongue. He’s rock hard in your mouth, far harder than he was earlier, and you know he’s going to come in no time.
So you start bobbing your head up and down his shaft, swallowing around him whenever he hits the back of your throat. He’s a grunting mess, a moaning mess, by the time you start squeezing his balls, and you hold eye contact as you pleasure him.
“I’m in love with that fucking mouth of yours,” he says, and his eyes flutter shut. “You’re so fucking good.”
You moan around his dick, which in turn makes him hiss. And when he starts moving a little, his motions sloppy, you know he’s about to come. So you squeeze harder, suck harder, and moan around him as hot shots of his seed hit the back of your throat. You swallow it as he comes, listening to the chorus of moans and curses he’s letting out, with your name laced into it. It’s sinful, hot, and you think you could also come just listening to him like that.
When you’ve milked the last of his orgasm out of him, Jungkook pulls away, your mouth making a popping sound when he’s out. He chuckles, bending down to press a kiss on your forehead, before grabbing your jaw.
“You swallowed everything?”
Ever the obedient girl, you open your mouth to show him that you indeed did. He seems satisfied, and he kisses your forehead once more, before grabbing your hand. You already know he’s going to pull you to the shower, and you follow him, eyes falling to his ass.
He’s got a great ass. Not necessarily big, but it’s muscled, defined, and the thighs that complement it turns it into a work of art, in your opinion. You love Jungkook’s body, love the care that he puts into it, and you don’t think you’d get tired of looking at him.
He glances over his shoulder. “Like the view?”
You roll your eyes at him. “Shut up.”
“You’re the one that’s staring at my ass! Even I don’t do this to you.”
You frown, digging your heels in the ground to stop in your spot. “You’re annoying.”
“I’m right though.”
He isn’t. You know he likes watching your body too, likes revering every inch of it with his lips and hands and gaze. He makes you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, and you reckon he deserves you making him feel like this too.
“You aren’t,” you finally say. “But, why can’t I look at you? You’re hot.”
“I’m ‘hot’,” he repeats. “Wow.”
“It’s a compliment!”
He bursts out laughing, before pulling you into a hug. “I know, I’m being a little shit. Thank you.” He adds your name sweetly, and then presses a peck to the top of your head. “By the way,” he says against your hair, “Do you want to come to my photography exposition next week?”
Your heart melts in your chest, and you wrap your arms around his waist to hold him flush against you, even though he’s still sweaty from the sex. “Of course, Kook. I’d love to come.”
You look up to meet his gaze. He’s smiling softly, with that lovesick look to his eyes that makes you feel like you’re swimming in ecstasy.
You want him to look at you like this until the day you die. Want to look at him like this too. Because, truly, you become the most important girl in the world when he looks at you like this. The most important girl in that world of you two, that space that belongs just to you.
“Thank you,” he finally whispers, and then he kisses you softly. “Let’s shower now.”
You chuckle, before following him into the bathroom.
Friday, December 14th
Jungkook is anxious. He’s been wanting to show you his photography for a while, but he’s always refrained from doing it. Partly because he still remembers you nagging him in Chicago about taking so many pictures of you, but mostly because this exhibit feels personal to him. It’s a collection of moments he experienced throughout the year, and when he looks at it, he feels like it’s his soul bared. And even though he’s bared his soul to you countless times before, it’s different like this. He doesn’t even know if you’re going to like it.
He sighs, shakily, before wiping his clammy hands on the fabric of his dress pants. They’re pale, and his light blue dress shirt is tucked neatly into it. It’s a little too tight on him, and he’s been getting looks from some people a couple of times, but most people avoid his exposition.
Mostly because Laura made it clear that he was an asshole, and all of her photography friends started hating on him too. Before, he would have probably been angry about it, upset with Laura, but now he feels like it doesn’t matter. He knows his friends are all going to come anyway, and though it’s been stressing him out, he knows that it’ll be fine.
The first friend that gets here is Namjoon. Namjoon, the biggest art nerd. Somehow, it soothes Jungkook that he’s the one here first. Because if the exposition is trash, he knows his friend will give an honest review.
Namjoon claps his hand and pulls him into a bro hug, his eyes going over the pictures. He smiles appreciatively, glancing at Jungkook.
“You should really become an art photographer. I told you you’re good at it.”
The praise makes Jungkook’s eyes well up with surprising tears. “Joon…”
“No, I’m serious!” Namjoon insists. He looks at the exposition again. “It’s a cycle. Twelve pictures, with light changing ever so slightly in all of them. And the centerpiece? You’re a goner.”
Jungkook blushes deep red, and he digs his hands in his pants. “Uh… It just felt fitting.”
Namjoon smiles, nodding slowly. “Of course. I’m happy for you, man.”
“Thanks,” Jungkook chokes out. “I’m… so fucking anxious for her to see it.”
Namjoon playfully pushes him. “Every time I’ve seen her she just looked at you with hearts in her eyes. She’s gone for you just as much as you are for her.”
“Is she?” Jungkook asks, toying with his piercing, though he already knows. He’s seen the switch in you – the way you grew softer around him, the way you take every opportunity to be with him and cherish it like it’s the last. You make him feel like he was born one day to find you, like you were the purpose of his life. It’s an intense feeling, a scary one, but he reckons when he was younger he always believed that he’d know when he was going to meet the right one.
Well… He didn’t know it right away with you, right? It took him what… seven years? Eight? He doesn’t even remember. But when the switch happened in him, he knew right away. He knew right away that you were the one, that he’d have to spend the rest of his life making sure that you know that. Making sure to prove it to you. He thinks he’s been doing it now, though he has to admit he was too scared at first. Hurt you instead of loving you. But he believes he’s been doing better now. Believes he’s redeeming himself a little more every day.
He stops his train of thoughts, because he’s getting emotional and you’re not even here yet. Namjoon tells him he’s going to look at the rest of the exhibition, and that he’ll come back when the rest of the friend group arrives. Jungkook watches him go, before grabbing his phone out of his back pocket to occupy himself.
[5:47 pm] You: i’ll be a little late. i’m stuck in traffic, but i’m close!
[5:47 pm] You: i’m sure u’re doing great! my dad told me to wish u good luck
What you don’t know is your dad told him himself. They’ve been talking, from time to time. Mostly because your father believes he should come to California for the Holidays along with you. Jungkook hasn’t decided yet, because he doesn’t want to impose and he doesn’t want to make you feel forced to welcome him. Your father says he’s sure you’ll accept, but he hasn’t had that conversation with you yet.
He feels like if tonight goes well, then it might be the moment to ask.
[5:48 pm] jkonthebeat: joonie is already here! i think jo and tae should get here soon
[5:49 pm] You: jo told me they’ll get there with jimin and scottie, and scottie just texted me that he saw laura and feels like murdering someone
Jungkook almost laughs out loud, but he stops himself just in time to see that Scottie, Jimin, Taehyung and Jo indeed just got here. They all wave when they see him, bright smiles on display, laughing about something they probably were joking about before they saw him. Jungkook waves them over, and the anxiety spikes once more as they take a look at his photography.
When they all compliment him, Taehyung and Jimin clapping him on the back and telling him that they’re proud of him, his anxiety calms down once more. He’s relieved, and at this point he’s pretty positive you’ll like it too. Because if his closest friends, who take every opportunity to tease him, tell him that he did a good job, then he reckons he did.
They all stay with him, and Namjoon comes back a moment later, as they all talk and joke around. Jungkook can’t help but feel gazes on him: Laura and her friends. He’s pretty sure Laura would murder him if she got the chance, and he only knows it’ll grow tenfold when you get here.
The presence of his friends grounds him, and when the examiner comes to look at his exposition, Jungkook’s speech is strong and steady, as he explains everything that he wanted to represent in the pictures. He explains how the light follows the hour of the day, and his emotions at the time. Each picture represents a month, last year. It starts in January, when he wasn’t doing great at all. The pictures are darker in the beginning months, then gradually get lighter in May and June. They’re hopeful, those pictures. One of them is a picture of the frogs under the bridge next to the dance studio, and he remembers when he walked with you, after dance practice all those months ago. He remembers the hope he felt, how his steps were light for the first time in months.
Then it all grows dark again in July. The picture isn’t unhappy. It’s the night sky at the cottage that he photographed with a long exposure tape. It isn’t sad, no, because it does remind him of you. But he chose it because July was sad, too, as were the following months. Dark pictures for August and September follow. A stormy night when he couldn’t sleep, and he knew Laura was asleep in his bed when he took the picture, yet he couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to be with her.
He was thinking of you, hating himself for choosing her.
October becomes lighter again, slowly. A picture in the shade in Chicago. You’re in it, as are Taehyung and Jo, with your backs turned to the camera. He’s titled it ‘Where I learned to live again’. Because truly, that’s how it felt to him. That trip to Chicago… it made him feel reborn.
November is a picture he took from the window of your apartment, of a bright, golden setting sun. That one he titled ‘Where I found hope again’. Because he found hope while being with you, more than you can imagine.
The last one is a picture of a bright, snowy day you spent with him a week ago. The storm hit unexpectedly, and you stayed with him, at the house with the other boys. It’s a picture of the backyard, with you all laughing around as you’re making snow angels. The picture is focused on you, with your big grin and rosy cheeks from the cold.
This one is called ‘Where I learned to love again’, but to be fair, he started to love again way before that. And it’s represented in the picture in the middle of the twelve, the one he chose to put there months ago. Back then, he didn’t know if he wanted to present his project at the exhibition, but with how things have evolved with you, he decided to do it.
It’s a picture of you, laughing, that he snapped in July at the cottage. He’s written a text next to it, a dedication to you, and that most of all is the reason why he’s anxious for you to see it.
In the forgotten space between then and now, her smile lingers. Healing, shining, like the sun after a long winter. Months that led to her, and now warmth clings to the world. The sun rays refuse to go away, and they shine ever so brightly after the darkness. Her light gives life, her smile gives hope, and her heart gives love.
It’s cheesy. Now that he thinks of it, he almost regrets writing that. But he knows that art blossoms where there’s love, and you’ve been his muse all year. Because most pictures, starting in April, are related to you. A story of how you got to where you are now.
His exhibit is called The Forgotten Spaces. It’s about how while he experienced those moments at first, he didn’t know. Didn’t realize what they meant. How he forgot that they meant something. Now, looking back, he knows that all of these moments meant everything. Meant everything to you and him, as they are your forgotten spaces, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it.
Doesn’t care that Laura has been throwing him side eyes, and how he might have gone too poetic on the project. He’s proud of what he did, and he just can’t wait for you to see.
When the examiner walks away, with a “Good job” and a bright smile, Jungkook once again relaxes. His friends are still nearby, and their chatter dims out the rest of the room, until he’s only focused on them. They’re talking about getting drinks after, to celebrate, and Jungkook can’t help but start feeling excited.
It only grows tenfold when he notices you walking in. You look so pretty standing there, scanning the room as you search for him. You’re wearing dark pants, with a pale blouse you’ve tucked into them. When your gaze meets him, you light up like you’re the brightest star in the night sky, and you wave at him as you make your way closer.
You do notice Laura too. To Jungkook’s surprise, you offer her a smile, and then walk past as if you don’t care about her. And he reckons maybe you don’t anymore, after all that’s happened.
“Hey,” he greets you when you stop next to him.
Your gaze hasn’t moved to the pictures on the wall behind him yet. You’re entirely focused on him, and he senses his friends taking a few steps away to allow you two some privacy. You grab his hand, a thing you do in public because you’ve told him you don’t like public displays of affection, but that holding hands doesn’t count. He still can’t resist but pull you a little closer, and he grabs your other hand.
And then his heart starts beating wildly in his chest, because you look over his shoulder, tiptoeing to see the wall. And he sees thousands of emotions moving on your features, until you just turn fully red.
“Oh my God, Kook,” you let out. “Is your exposition about me?”
His heart sinks in his chest. He feels like he did something wrong, like he shouldn’t have taken pictures of you, but then you add, “You’re so fucking cheesy, what the hell.”
It’s like a weight is lifted from his shoulders, and he smirks down at you. “I mean, how could I resist? You’re my muse.”
“Stop!” you say, punching him in the chest. You then walk around him, taking a proper look at the pictures. “Is that why you didn’t want me to see, before today?”
Because you’ve asked. Countless times, but he always told you he’d rather not spoil the surprise. And when you turn and offer him a smile so sweet it tastes like honey, Jungkook knows he did the right thing.
“Yeah,” he says, and he turns around to motion at the pictures. “All of them are titled? And the one in the middle…”
“Wait,” you let out. “Wait, did you write a poem about me too? Jungkook, what the fuck?”
If he couldn’t see your teary eyes, he’d think you’re angry. But you clearly aren’t – at best, you’re probably just overwhelmed.
“I mean, it’s not a poem?” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just… It kind of explains the whole thing, and why I chose those pictures.”
At that you take a step forward, to look at the pictures closely. He lets you do it, lets you read the titles, following the chronological order of the months of this year. He can see your blush deepening when you get to the pictures where you can be seen clearly, and then you’re reading the text in the middle closely. He thinks you reread it a couple of times, because it takes you a while before you glance at him again.
You’re still teary-eyed when you do, and you extend a hand towards him. He takes it gently, raising it to his mouth so he can press a kiss to your knuckles.
“Don’t cry,” he says softly. “I didn’t want to make you cry.”
You choke out a laugh. “This is just… Everyone can see this.” Another rush of anxiety moves through him before you add, “I just can’t believe I get to be with you. Like…”
You turn towards the pictures, and point towards the one from April, which is just a picture of a street light in the fog. “I hated you then. I hated you so bad, wished you had never come back into my life. And then… and then we fell in love, we hurt each other bad, and fell in love some more. Like…” You pause, because tears are moving on your cheeks. He reaches to dry them, and then you continue. “I can’t believe we’ve been through all of this, and finally figured it out.” You look away from him to say the next words. “I can’t believe I was afraid at first. There’s nothing scary about being with you.”
Your words echo in his mind for so long after you’re done talking that he just remains frozen next to you. They calm his heart, warm his soul, and make tears form in his eyes too, tears that he blinks away before scraping his throat in an attempt to get rid of the lump that was forming there. He murmurs your name then, for just you to hear.
“I love you,” he breathes out.
You look startled to hear the words. It’s the first time he’s told you ‘I love you’. You usually tiptoe around the words, using other ways to say it, like “I’m in love” or “text me when you’re home”, but now that they’re out in the open, they feel like the most natural thing he’s ever said in his life.
“Fuck, Kook,” you say, and you chuckle as a smile move on your lips, making your eyes shine from within. “I love you too. Thank you for being patient with me.”
He blinks his tears away. “Thank you for wanting to be with me, after everything. I’m still not sure I deserve it, but I really love you.”
“I know,” you say, nodding your head slowly. “But you deserve it! Like…” you trail off, motioning at the pictures. “Who would do this?”
“Is it… too much?” he asks, voicing his fear.
You laugh. “I mean… it’s a lot? But it’s so artistic and pretty, and I can’t believe I inspired you to do this.”
He echoes your laugh, shrugging his shoulders. “It was easy. I actually had almost everything done in October? I was just waiting to get the perfect pictures for November and December.”
“I can’t believe you used pictures of me,” you say, shaking your head. “Now everyone’s going to see my face.”
He pulls you closer, instinctively. “And they’re all lucky for it. But if you want me to take the pictures down already, I understand.”
“No.” You tilt your head to the side. “You’ve worked on this for so long, I won’t force you to take it down. It’s just… strange to see my face. But you’ve edited the pictures, right? No way I look this good.”
He rolls his eyes, gently nudging you with his elbow. “You do. And my camera is good quality. But honestly you barely needed any editing.”
You clearly don’t believe him, and you blabber on about it for a while. He just lets you speak, smiling fondly at you whenever you gaze at him. You eventually apologize for talking so much, and he laughs as he pulls you into his chest for a quick hug.
“Don’t apologize,” he reassures you. “I like listening to you. And…” He glances at the pictures. “I’m glad you like the project. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was mostly about you before? Maybe you wouldn’t have been a blushing mess then.”
“Jungkook!” you yelp out, and you pinch at his side in retaliation. He cringes, and then bursts out laughing as you aim for his sides again. He blocks you, grabbing your wrists and holding you in place. “I’m blushing because there’s pictures of me and your ex is here! And like… all those strangers too. Doesn’t mean I don’t like the project.”
“I know,” he says, chuckling. “I’m teasing you.”
He likes doing that. Teasing you. It shows him how, all those times he did it when you were younger, he probably meant something entirely different and was just too immature to realize it. To realize that you were the one for him. Now that he knows, teasing you fills him with giddy happiness, like a kid on Christmas morning. Mostly because you usually tease back, and you don’t disappoint tonight.
No, you end up bickering, until Jo tells you that you’re acting like an old couple. You both glare at her, but it stops the bickering, long enough for Jungkook to actually present his project to a couple of other people that have moved closer.
When the evening is over, and the last of the visitors are leaving including his friends, you stick around to help him take down the pictures. You hand them to him, though you hold onto the July night sky for far longer than he thought you would.
He glances around, satisfied to see that Laura’s left, before stepping closer to you.
“You can keep it if you want,” he tells you, and he steals a kiss on your temple.
You don’t even whine like you usually do in public. You just sigh, looking up at him. “I miss this weekend,” you admit. “It was so fun.”
“Maybe we can go next summer again?” he suggests. “I’m pretty sure everyone would be willing.”
It makes you smile, and you say, “I’d love to!” Jungkook is about to speak, but you quickly add, “And JK?”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“I…” you trail off, looking around, and your cheeks turn crimson once more. “I wanted to ask you something?”
You say it like a question, and it makes him chuckle. “What?”
“I know you’re… not going to go to Korea for the Holidays and…” You nibble on your bottom lip, meet his gaze once before letting yours drop to the floor. “Would you like to come with me? To California? I… my dad told me to invite you, and I’d like to have you there.”
His eyes well up with tears once again, and this time he doesn’t blink them away. “Of course! Of course, I’ll come.”
You step closer to him, wrap your arms around his middle and rest your head on his chest. “I know the plane tickets are expensive, but dad said he’d get one for you? So you don’t have to worry about it.”
“I can buy the ticket.”
“It’s a gift!” you insist. “Besides… he’s already bought it.”
Jungkook is surprised, because your father didn’t mention it last time he talked to him. But at the same time, he does understand why he wouldn’t have said it – your father probably wanted you to ask him yourself.
It’s understandable, and you look so cute fumbling with your words like that that Jungkook can’t help but press soft kisses on the top of your head. “Did he now?” He chuckles, and presses a kiss to your forehead when you gaze up at him. “Well, I guess I’m going to have to accept the gift, uh?”
You smile. “Yep, you’re going to have to,” you agree. And when you pull away, you let out an excited yelp that has him burst out laughing. “We’re going on a trip together!”
“We are,” he echoes, nodding his head. “I hope you don’t mind me sleeping on the plane ride. Planes make me sleep.”
You frown, and then chuckle. “You’re so weird.”
“That’s why you love me, uh?”
You look up at the sky as if annoyed, and then start giggling when he tickles your side playfully. “Stop!”
“Just because you’re cute,” he says, and he pecks your nose before pulling away.
He’s gone. He’s gone for you. He knows, his friends know, and sometimes he thinks the whole universe knows. And maybe that’s what happens when you’re destined to be with someone – when you finally reach them, when your paths finally cross and mesh to form one, it feels like the universe finds its meaning. And it does, for you. At least that’s how Jungkook feels, and that’s what inspired his photography project.
That night, when you lie in your bed, Jungkook makes sure to hold you close to him as he big spoons you. And when you mutter, half asleep, that you told your father your boyfriend will indeed be coming for the Holidays, Jungkook fights tears.
“Your boyfriend, uh?”
You nod against him. “You are, aren’t you? I think it’s time we make it official.”
And though it’s not like people didn’t already know, Jungkook still says, “So you’re my girlfriend, uh?”
You chuckle. “You did tell that girl at the Halloween party that I was your girlfriend, didn’t you?”
He had. He was embarrassed for a few seconds, until lust had taken over him, thanks to the alcohol and weed in his system.
“True,” he hums. “Well, then I’ll tell my mom that we’re dating? She’s been nagging me about you.”
“You… you talked to your mom about me?”
He presses a kiss on the back of your head. “Of course. I told her about you for the first time in June.” He pauses, then chuckles. “Well technically, she already knew who you were. I think I’ve been talking about you to her for years.”
“Kook,” you whine. “She probably hates me.”
He pulls you closer. “Nah, trust me. She loves you. She’s already talking about having us over during the summer break.”
He’d love to do that with you. To visit his home country, along with the person that feels like home to him. He thinks you’d like it there, even though you don’t know the language.
“Oof, you better teach me some Korean before then,” you say, and you both laugh. “All you’ve taught me so far is how to say hello and some curse words.”
“Got to start somewhere.”
You laugh again, and then you sigh, as you hold his arm a little tighter. “Indeed. Too bad I have nothing to teach you before we go to California.”
He chuckles deeply, and you talk the night away like that, even as you both grow tired. When you start yawning more than talking, Jungkook presses another kiss to the back of your head.
“We should go to sleep,” he says, and he fights a yawn. “We have to study tomorrow.”
You whine a little, in that cute way of yours. “Gosh, fuck studying. But yeah, we should go to sleep.”
“I… I love you,” Jungkook says tentatively.
He can hear the smile on your lips when you reply, “I love you too. Good night, Kook.”
“Good night.”
Monday, December 24th
The house is loud, even though there’s only five of you. You think it’s mostly because Jungkook is playing with Louis, your father’s son. Your brother, sort of. They’re screaming in the living room, as Jungkook imitates the sounds Louis makes.
It’s adorable, it really is, and you reckon you like seeing how Jungkook acts with a kid. Even though you don’t want any, it just… rubs you the right way, you guess. Makes you want to hold him close to you, but then again you always want to hold Jungkook close.
Your father is currently working on something in his office. Even though it’s Christmas Eve, the grind doesn’t stop for him, and you know it won’t stop for you either once you graduate. Especially as you’re considering more and more to follow in his footsteps, as he suggested getting you in touch with the firm he was working at when he lived back on the East Coast with you and your mother.
That leaves you with Isabel, his new wife. She has been sweet to you – an angel, truly. Referring to you as her step-daughter, saying she always wanted a daughter and is really happy that she has you. You don’t know what your father told her about your relationship with your own mother, but you reckon it feels great to receive some motherly love, no matter how unexpected it is.
And she’s been giving you a lot. You got here three days ago and at first, it was a little overwhelming. But you’re already getting used to it, and you think it’s for the best. Because you do need it, especially in the middle of the Holiday season.
After all, it’s the first time you spend it without your mother. Even though you’ve never really received love from her, it still feels strange to be away, but you’re more accepting of it every day.
You haven’t really talked to her since she’s kicked you out. You don’t want to, and Mary agrees that it might be best for you to cut ties for now. She’s not opposed to you reconnecting in the future, as long as you keep a safe distance from your mother. For now, you don’t see that ever happening, and you feel comfortable with that. You don’t need your mother – she’s never really been a mother to you anyway.
“I don’t know who’s louder, your boyfriend or Louis,” Isabel complains and you chuckle as you glance at her.
You’re in the kitchen, and she’s putting the turkey in the oven for later tonight. You’ve been helping out a little, but she affirmed that she got it covered, so now you’re mostly just sitting on a bar stool, watching her work.
“Pretty sure it’s Jungkook,” you say, and you laugh as he indeed shrieks. “I think he prefers Louis over me.”
Isabel laughs, a crystalline laugh that sounds like she’s rehearsed it a thousand times. It’s pretty, and you’re a little jealous, knowing most of the times when you laugh you snort like a pig.
“Stop it, he’s head over heels for you,” she says, tutting. She rinses a cutting board, before putting it away in the dishwasher. “It’s actually kind of adorable.”
You feel the blush creeping up your neck, until it reaches your cheeks and turns them deep crimson. “Is it?”
Isabel nods widely. “It is! I wish your father still looked at me like that.”
“He does,” you reassure her. “He really loves you.”
Isabel smiles shyly, and she busies herself with washing some dish that she doesn’t usually put in the dishwasher. For a time, you both just listen to Jungkook and Louis, and then she speaks again. “I hope… I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”
You hear the question mark at the end of her sentence, and it makes you look down at a random spot on the kitchen island in front of you. “Uh… I think it used to. But… being here right now helps?”
“I’m glad,” she says softly, and when you gaze up you find her smiling fondly. “I didn’t want to push the relationship before, but I think you deserve having your father in your life more. We’re happy to have you over whenever you want to.”
For some reason, you used to think she’d rather not have you over. It makes you blink away sudden tears, and you chuckle awkwardly. “Thank you. I wish I could host you three at home too, but my apartment isn’t big enough.”
“Yet,” she teases with a wink. “If you follow in your father’s footsteps you’ll be able to get a nice house for yourself and Jungkook.”
The perspective of a future like that, alongside Jungkook, makes butterflies arise in your stomach. “That’d be great. I can only wish I’m half as good as him.”
“And you know, if you really want to do international law instead of something in a firm like your father, you can too! He’s got great contacts at some embassies in Europe.”
You know that he does. But the need to get away, to live abroad, isn’t as strong as it once used to be for you. Because now you know that that was why you liked international law so much. Though you still find it interesting, you don’t wish to move away anymore. Not when you have Jungkook here at home.
“Honestly,” you let out slowly. “I think I want to stay here. In the US, I mean? I guess it depends on where Jungkook wants to go. He’s really close to his friends, and I wouldn’t want to force him to move away.”
Because the option of breaking up isn’t even there, and you don’t even want to consider trying long distance. No, you think Jungkook and you are made of stuff that lasts, of stuff that you can build a whole life on. He feels the same way – last night, he told you that one day he’d like to marry you. He was a little tipsy, that’s true, but it’s proof enough that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
“What about your friends?” Isabel asks.
You think of Jiho. Of Jisung and Heather and the rest of the dance crew. Of Jo, Bridget, and even Kiko. Of Jungkook’s friends too, because they’ve become your friends as well. You reckon you wouldn’t want to move away from them either. They’ve grown to be your family, even though you’re realizing you’ve always had a family here, in California.
“I love them too much to leave,” you admit, and it feels strangely relieving to say it. As if you’re allowing yourself to truly care about them, to truly accept that they occupy an important part in your life. “I think I’ve got a good future ahead of me, if I stay home. Yes, it’s hard because it’s close to my mother, but it’ll always be home.”
“And that’s totally okay!” Isabel says, offering you a bright smile. “You’re allowed to want to stay.” She pauses for a few seconds, before adding teasingly, “Even if your father really wants you to move here.”
You laugh along with her, and when silence rises around you again, you glance towards the living room. From the kitchen, you can only see a small part of it, and you can’t see Jungkook or Louis. But now that the turkey is in the oven, Isabel and you move over there, and you end up playing Just Dance with Louis, even though he’s a little too young to actually dance. Isabel says he loves the game, and Jungkook is happy to oblige.
You watch him as he dances. His movements have gotten more fluid over the last few months, as if all the physical therapy that he did has finally caught up to him. It’s to the point that you’ve discussed with him and the crew about taking him back in as a dancer, but he hasn’t decided yet. Everyone said they’d be happy to have him dance, but Jungkook seems like he’s been appreciating his spot as the choreographer more through the months.
Maybe because you’ve won an award because of his choreographies.
Jungkook catches you looking, and he winks at you over his shoulder. You smile as your cheeks tint pink, and then he’s back to focusing on the dance, even though he’s purposefully missing every beat to let Louis win.
Still, Louis doesn’t, but the toddler doesn’t care, only wanting to dance with you next. So you do, and Jungkook and Isabel talk together on the couch while you entertain Louis. Your father eventually joins the group, and you spend the rest of the afternoon playing around, until it’s time for Louis to take a nap.
You and Jungkook actually decide to take a nap too, mostly because Louis was throwing a fit at the fact that his sister didn’t have to sleep. He only agreed once you said you will sleep too, and you reckon you could use a nap in the comfort of your boyfriend’s arms.
And you do fall asleep quickly, as he’s holding you tight against him. It’s way too warm and you wake up drenched in sweat, but you don’t care. You take a shower while he remains in bed, bringing the clothes you’ve chosen for Christmas Eve along with you so you can get dressed right away.
It’s an ugly Christmas sweater, and Jungkook got one too, because your father insisted that you needed to dress with one to be welcomed at the table for dinner. To compensate for the silly look, you decide to put on makeup and curl your hair, and when you’re finally done, you exchange spots in the bathroom with Jungkook.
He quickly kisses you on the way in, telling you that you look amazing, and then you leave him to his own shower. You go back to your room to put away the clothes you were wearing earlier, and you’re about to head downstairs when your phone starts vibrating in your hand.
You freeze as your mother’s name appears on the screen, and as your heart drops down to your stomach.
It’s Christmas Eve, you think. She probably only wants to wish you a Merry Christmas, because surprisingly enough, she’s done that every year. Probably because Christmas is her favourite holiday. And it’s probably only because it is indeed Christmas Eve that you decide to accept the call.
“Hello,” you say as you put the phone against your ear.
She says your name, and she sounds relieved, as if she didn’t expect you to pick up at all. “How are you doing?”
“I’m great,” you tell her, but you don’t ask her the question back.
You don’t think she deserves you asking and, frankly, you don’t care about the answer enough.
“I’ve heard… that you’re not going to be at your aunt’s tonight?”
You sigh. “No. I’m visiting my father in California.”
“Oh,” she lets out. “Well then, Merry Christmas.” She pauses for a few seconds, as if she thought you were going to wish it back. “I was hoping to see you.”
“Why?” you ask, and you hope she doesn’t hear the tremble in your voice because, in truth, what she just said is breaking your heart.
“To… make amends?” she says. “I regret what happened earlier this year. It was mostly because I wanted to sell the house.”
You didn’t know she wanted that. It still doesn’t justify her actions – she could have just told you that instead.
“Ah,” you let out. There are a few seconds of silence, and then you add, “Have you?”
“Not yet,” she admits. “I haven’t been able to.”
You wait for her to say more, but she remains silent. You eventually cave in, asking, “Why?”
“Because I’ve been living there for a long time,” she explains. “It’s a place that’s dear to me, even though it holds a lot of bad memories.”
You scoff. “You know, you’ve got a lot of balls to tell that to me.”
“I don’t want to fight,” she quickly says. “I… I’ve been going to therapy. I’m still early in the process, but I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
Your heart breaks a little more, and you move to sit on the bed.
“I want to make efforts,” she continues. “I have been a horrible mother to you, and I know it’s too late to change the past, but I hope I can make the future better.”
“Listen mom,” you say, stopping her before she actually makes you cry. “I appreciate that you decided to get therapy. It was way past time. But… right now, I’m not in a place mentally where I want to allow you to be in my life. I really hope therapy helps you to become a better person, but it doesn’t mean I have to let you be in my life.”
She sniffles on her side of the line, and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever heard her cry. It’s hard, almost makes you take everything that you said back, but you’ve worked too hard with Mary to just give up right now.
“I understand,” she eventually says. “If there ever comes a day where you think we can talk, I’m just a phone call away. We could grab coffee. I have a lot I want to tell you, and I don’t think it justifies how I acted, but maybe you’ll understand.”
The thing is, you don’t care. You want to keep your peace of mind, but you reckon it’s Christmas Eve. You don’t have to tell her this today and ruin her favourite holiday.
You really are the most mature out of the two of you, aren’t you?
“Okay,” you choose to say. “I’ll call you whenever I’m ready.”
“Thank you,” she whispers in the phone, voice heavy with emotion. “I’m sorry.”
Her apology hurts more than anything else could have. “Don’t apologize,” you tell her. “Instead, work on yourself, and prove to me that you mean it. If that can be the Christmas gift I ask for this year.”
“Yes,” she immediately says. “Of course.”
A long silence follows that, and you hear the shower turning off in the bathroom. You don’t want Jungkook to come back while you’re still talking to your mother, so you say, “Listen, I have to go now. Merry Christmas to you too.”
She wishes you goodbye, and she tells you to say hi to your dad for her. You know you won’t do it, because your mother will always be a sensitive subject when it comes to your father. But you still let her think that you will, because you don’t need to be a bitch right now.
You could be, you’re aware of it, but you think it’d upset you more than anything else. You don’t need the negativity right now.
You’re still sitting on the bed when Jungkook comes in, and it takes him one second to see your face and ask, “What’s wrong?”
You sigh, and you meet his gaze. “My mother called me.”
He looks startled, eyebrows shooting towards his hairline. “What did she want?”
You tell him everything about the conversation, and once you’re done, you ask for his opinion. He sits on the bed next to you, grabbing your hand and toying with your fingers.
“I think you’re very strong, and I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself,” he carefully says. “And it’s actually a good thing that she’s in therapy, but honestly, I don’t think you need to let her back in. You don’t have to, and you should never feel forced to.”
Your eyes fill with tears, and you rest your head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Kook.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, and even though he’s done it countless times before, it ignites a warm fire in your chest. A comfortable fire, one that can chase away any cold and darkness your mother brings to you.
“I got you,” he whispers in your hair. “Always. Whatever you need, tell me and I’ll get it for you.”
“You’re cheesy,” you tease him.
“You love it.”
You do. He knows that well enough.
You sigh, and then you sit straight once more. “Should we head downstairs? We could set up the table for Isabel.”
Jungkook nods, and he quickly pecks your temple before standing up. “How do you like the sweater?”
“You’re adorable in it,” you compliment him, standing up too. “I love it.” You wrap your arms around his waist, and he quickly hugs you back.
“Not as adorable as you, but thank you,” he says, and he giggles when you pinch his sides.
“Just take the compliment.”
He’s pouting when you look up at him. “Sorry, I can’t help myself. You really are adorable.”
You blush a little, and when he leans down to kiss you, you hold him tighter. Let him lead the kiss, though he keeps it soft and slow. It makes you feel reborn, complete, and when he pulls away, you sigh dreamily.
“I love you,” you whisper.
“Love you too,” he whispers back, and he pecks your forehead once before he leads you downstairs.
The evening ends up being a blast. You forget all about your mother as you’re laughing, chatting and eating along with everyone, with Christmas music playing in the background. When the subject of Jungkook’s exposition comes to the surface, you feel yourself turning beet red as Jungkook shows the pictures he used.
You still can’t believe he used you as a subject. Loved you enough to make you his muse, and to risk failing a project that was supposed to be a little more serious. Luckily enough, he passed with flying colours, and he even got a museum asking him to take pictures of their art for them, so they can put them on a web platform in an attempt to make their museum virtual.
Opening gifts has you all laughing till you are teary-eyed, with Louis being the receiver of most of them. You and Jungkook got him a small truck and a plush toy, and he’s been trying to fit the plushie in the truck, but so far he’s been unsuccessful.
To your surprise, Jungkook hands you a gift, a sheepish look on his features. You open it with a cocked eyebrow, because you don’t know how a trip to a winery fits in a box like this one. When you find an octopus plushie, one of those you can revert to make it happy or mad, you offer him a small pout, telling him you love it.
Luckily enough, you got him a gift too, with the help of his mother. She wanted to get him plane tickets for Korea, and asked you to give them to him. It was an awkward conversation, and you still have no idea how she got your phone number, but even with the language barrier you still managed to talk to her. She was sweet, kept saying how she can’t wait to meet you, and now you know you’re going during Spring Break.
Jungkook tears up when he sees the tickets, and he kisses you deeply in front of everyone else. Louis makes you laugh, letting out a disgusted sound and throwing his own plushie at you. It makes you pull away from Jungkook, though you keep hold of his hand for the rest of the evening. At a certain point, Isabel and you go upstairs with Louis since it’s way past his bedtime. The only way to get him to actually sleep is to tell him that he needs to be asleep for Santa Claus to come, and he begrudgingly says that he is going to try and listen for the reindeers on the roof. It’s adorable, and you refrain from telling him that the house doesn’t have an actual chimney for Santa to climb down in, refusing to be the one to kill the childish magic that Christmas still holds for him.
After that, you move to the other side of the house, to a private room with a bar, a pool table and a board game table. You settle at the board game table with Isabel, Jungkook and your father, and it’s there that your father gives you your gift, saying that he preferred not giving you that in front of Louis.
You understand why. It’s a bottle of whiskey, the whiskey you’ve seen him drink countless times growing up. You always asked him for a taste, and he always refused, saying that when you’re old enough, you’d get your own bottle. You cry a little when he pours you a drink, and then wince at the strong taste of the alcohol. Everyone laughs, and you tell your father it’s the best gift you’ve ever received, because frankly, it is.
You go to bed late that night, even though you have a dinner planned with Isabel’s family tomorrow night. You didn’t want to go at first, but since you’ve been getting along with her so well, you accept the invitation and then wish her and your father good night, before going to the room you share with Jungkook.
Jungkook groans as he plops down on the bed, face hidden in the covers. “That whiskey hit hard,” he complains.
You laugh, and you sit next to him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s strong, yeah. No wonder he never let me drink it as a child.”
“You would have died,” Jungkook agrees. He turns his head to the side, looking at you with a sweet lovesick smile on his lips. “This is fun.”
You’re confused, and your brows meet over your eyes. “What?”
He glances at the door, before looking back at you. “Everything. Your family, the vibes. Getting to spend time with you.” He pauses, then precises, “Getting to spend the holidays with you.”
You smile, scrunching up your nose shyly. “Right? I’m so happy.”
“And the plane tickets?” He looks away, hiding his face in the covers again. “How the fuck did you manage to do this?”
“Your mother called me. No idea how she got my number,” you tell him. “She asked me if I could give them to you, as a gift from us both. As if I thought of it. It was all her. But she said you’d be happier if you received them from me.”
You can hear the grin in his voice when he says, “Told you she loves you.”
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
He turns to lie on his back, one hand behind his head. He looks heavenly like this, and you climb on his lap.
“Oh,” he lets out.
“What?”
“I don’t know,” he says, chuckling. “Merry Christmas to me.”
“Is that so?” you tease, and you grind your hips against him.
He looks alarmed for half a second before his expression turns dark. “Oh, is that where this is going?” he asks, and his hands find your waist. “In your father’s home? You’ll have to be extremely silent.”
“Good thing we’ve got pillows, I can hide my face in one of those.”
It doesn’t take you long before you’re rid of clothes, and you’re back on Jungkook’s lap, kissing him languidly. He guides himself to your entrance, and when you sink on him, the lack of foreplay makes you wince in pain. But he soothes it right away by gently caressing your thighs, and when you kiss him again, it’s slow and sweet.
You make love that night. Like that first night at your apartment, emotions, passion and desire driving all of your moves. And for some reason, while you’re impaled on him, the lines of his poem, his dedication to you, come back to your mind.
In the forgotten space between then and now, her smile lingers. Healing, shining, like the sun after a long winter. Months that led to her, and now warmth clings to the world. The sun rays refuse to go away, and they shine ever so brightly after the darkness. Her light gives life, her smile gives hope, and her heart gives love.
You make love, hands holding his cheeks, rocking of your hips slow and steady. He reaches deep inside of you, filling you with pleasure and hope and life and love. Your forgotten space, where you’ll always meet. The forgotten space of your world ending, together. Of you and him, becoming just one for this last and first dance. Your boyfriend, your person, always and forever.
When you’re lying next to him after, you think about the months, about the hurdles. About the pain and that July night sky. About dancing, with him, about loving him. About getting to be his person, getting to spend your life with him. You think about everything, your soul filling with love – yours and his, entwined in the most beautiful tapestry. You think about his scars – the ones on his heart, on his body. The ones on your own heart. They’re beautiful, all of them. They make him, they make you, and they make the both of you together. You love him, deeply, more than you’ve ever thought you could love. You know that for the rest of your life, you’ll show him that love. Shower him with it, gift it to him without asking for anything back even though you know he’ll give it to you, no questions asked.
You know then, that you were put on this Earth for a reason. Like a fated connection – your souls meant to latch together, to mesh until they’re just one.
You can only hope that he knows it too. You hope that he knows his light gives you life, his smile gives you hope, and his heart gives you love. From this moment, until you dwindle away into the void of eternity.
You sit on the threshold of your memories, with him. Them that breathe for you. Your forgotten spaces.
Prev | Teaser for the sequel When the End Comes
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The way I am crying right now as I finish rereading? This story, I'm telling you... it makes me far too emotional. Thank you for accompanying me on this beautiful journey. For the last time, I'll ask you guys, what did you think? Did you like it? Was the healing enough after the angst?
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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Tethered
college student! Jongho X college student! fem oc
Soulmate AU, just cuteness and fluff
warnings : mentions of anxiety, illness, pregnancy.
word count : 6.9k
synopsis : what happens when your soulmate bond is finally activated but it doesn't fall under any of the existing types? Jongho and Yunhee try to establish their connection with no clue and minimal examples to follow. Would they succeed in meeting each other and seal the bond or would they fall gradually ill?
a/n : okay so my first ever oneshot, and I'm glad I could write one for our baby bear jjong cuz there aren't many jongho fics on here PLUS I miss him so much :(( I hope he's recovering well and also his birthday is coming up next month! feedback is always appreciated!
----- A reblog would mean the world to me <33 ------
Yesterday was Yunhee’s 18th birthday, which meant that she was finally an adult according to society’s standards. It also meant that she could watch netflix shows that were adult rated without feeling guilty about her age and of course, call chronically online minors out on their behaviour as someone who’d automatically be deemed more mature and responsible.
However, this also entailed that her soulmate bond was activated.
Yunhee did feel a tingly sensation and the butterflies in her stomach like the others said she would, but after that everything went back to normal. No tattoos were etched onto her body, nor did she see a flash of her soulmate’s face in her mind and there was no response when she thought of a bunch of things to test if they had telepathy.
She really didn’t know what went wrong but it made her anxious. Also the fact that she had no way of knowing if something happened to her soulmate, as their soulmate bond was still unidentified.
“You should really calm down, Yunhee.” said Minha, her best friend of 7 years.
“What if I don’t find him soon enough? We have to meet each other as soon as possible after our soulmate bond has been activated or else we’d both gradually fall ill! Don’t you remember what happened to Nina and her boyfriend?” Yunhee muttered anxiously.
“It has only been a day! I don’t understand why you’re panicking so much. Give it a week and if there’s still nothing after that, then we can panic.” She concluded.
Taking her best friend’s advice, Yunhee decided to leave the matters into her soulmate’s hands, thinking if she was frantically trying out different confirmation methods, it was safe to assume that he was also doing the same.
“Dude, I’m telling you, your soulmate bond is telepathy! There isn’t any other type that matches!” Wooyoung exclaimed, while flailing his hands around to prove his point.
“But I haven’t heard anything from my soulmate so far! Nor do I know if the things I thought reached her!” Jongho yelled back.
“Okay… Well, try again later! Don’t give up on this, because I’m a hundred percent sure it’s telepathy of some sort even if it isn’t the common one.” Wooyoung got up to leave.
“How are you so sure? Are you a soulmate specialist or something?” Jongho scoffed at him.
Wooyoung smiled at that. “Remember how my soulmate bond was telepathy?” Jongho nodded, “I never told anyone this but, mine wasn’t your typical telepathy… It was one-sided.”
“What? No way!” Jongho stared at him in disbelief.
“Yes, our bond was such that I couldn’t hear anything from her but she could hear everything I thought about. I was ready to give up when I got this idea and decided to give it a last shot.” Wooyoung continued.
“What did you do?” Jongho asked.
“I sat down and started revealing my full name, my social media handles, my address and other details in my head, so if there really was anyone listening they’d know how to find me. She showed up on my doorstep with my favourite snacks not long after. The rest is history.” Wooyoung grinned while recalling the memory.
“How the hell did we not know this before? It’s literally a story worth telling!”
“Yes, I’m aware but the topic never came up and I can’t just randomly reveal that my soulmate bond was flawed you know?” Wooyoung tried to reason with Jongho.
“Okay, fine I got it. I’ll try thinking of different things and hope it’ll reach my soulmate somehow” Jongho sighed, giving in.
“That’s the spirit! Let me and the other guys know if you feel anything and I’ll see you later. Bye!”
Jongho headed to bed early that day, feeling exhausted. As he was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, an idea came to him. ‘What if I focus on one topic to think about instead of multiple things at once? It might be a more organised approach and less strenuous for my brain.’
So he sat up and started consciously thinking about one topic, but phrased them in various ways.
‘What is your name?’ He waited a bit but there wasn’t a response.
“At least I know this won't work,” he said out loud.
‘Can you tell me your name?’
No response.
“Okay, that’s crossed out too then. How else can I phrase it…”
If anyone saw him then, they’d think he had gone mad by the way he was talking to himself.
‘Could you speak your name?’
‘Could you spell your name?’
‘Could you trace your name on your hand?’
Jongho tried phrasing it as many ways as he could, even if some sounded ridiculous.
‘Telleth me thy name.’
He paused before laughing at himself.
“So, Shakespearean English is crossed out too it seems.”
When he ran out of all the ‘tell’, ‘spell’, ‘speak’ and ‘think’ questions he took a different route.
‘Can you write your name?’
No response.
Jongho yawned, feeling sleepy. Lying back down on the bed, he tried thinking of a few more sentences before deciding to continue again the next day.
‘Could you write your name on paper?’
No response.
“Okay, then” he said.
‘Write your name down on paper for me please?’
He paused, just about to fall asleep.
That was when the most unexpected thing happened to him.
Yunhee was tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall asleep. She had just finished her college assignment, due the next day and all the stress she took for it made her extremely tired.
Assuming sleep would come easy to her, she finished her nighttime routine and headed to bed. But alas, sleep was nowhere to be found. It was one of those days where her body was tired but her mind was wide awake and she despised when that happened because it meant that she would not be able to fall asleep anytime soon.
She started counting sheep in her head as a last resort.
When she was on her 29th sheep, Yunhee heard something resonate in her head. The first noise sounded like an incoherent crackle and she almost dismissed it as her mind playing tricks, when she clearly heard a soothing male voice telling her to write her name on paper.
She sat up on her bed abruptly and tried to reach out to the guy, but to no avail. Her heart was beating very fast at the prospect of finally receiving a telepathic message. She was able to hear her soulmate’s voice and it was a feeling like no other.
After waiting a bit, she decided to do what the voice told her to: write her name on paper.
Yunhee got up, retrieving her notebook and a pen from the desk. Sitting back down on the bed once again, she opened the notebook to an empty page and scribbled her name on it. She also wrote “What is your name?” underneath.
She waited for a bit in case another message came through but there were no other responses.
Yunhee was completely unable to sleep that night.
Jongho couldn’t believe what he just saw. It was like a flash that only lasted for a few seconds, but he saw a vision through someone else’s eyes. He saw a hand pick up a light blue notebook with the words “hakuna matata” written in a corner with golden ink. The hand also picked up a pen and wrote down something in the notebook. What it wrote, Jongho couldn’t make out because the writing became hazy and blurry. He could only read out ‘Park’ and the writing underneath that said ‘what is your name?’.
He was sure the person wrote her name down but he could only read her surname.
Jongho felt something unexplainable in his gut. He was finally able to reach his soulmate, even though he couldn’t see her name. Thinking about the vision brought out a sense of longing inside him. He wanted to see more, feel more and know more about her, but he didn’t yet know how.
‘At least this is progress’ he thought. ‘I need to tell the others about this and figure out what I should do next.’
The doorbell rang but the sound went unheard by the group of guys inside the apartment. The person standing outside got impatient after a while, and had to bang on the door to gain everyone’s attention.
“Geez, Hongjoong-hyung why are you banging on the door like that? The bell exists for a reason.” Wooyoung tsked while opening the door for him.
“I rang the bell like 10 times already! None of you brats could hear it over the noise pollution! I swear y’all can be heard from down the hallway!” Hongjoong yelled at him.
“Cut us some slack though, Hongjoong. We met up after almost a month!” Seonghwa reasoned with him.
The seven guys excluding Jongho made themselves comfortable in Jongho’s living room, catching up with each other. Meanwhile, the resident of the apartment arranged some refreshments for the eight of them, bringing them over to the living area before plopping down between Yeosang and Mingi.
“So let’s come to the reason why I called you guys here–”
“You called us for a reason!?” San fake gasped.
“You wouldn’t have invited us if you didn’t have a use for us!?” Yunho butted in.
“Guys let the poor boy speak! I can kinda guess what it’s about.” Wooyoung tried to defend Jongho.
“Yes, thank you Wooyoung-hyung. The reason why I called you here is because I was able to contact my soulmate yesterday and I still don’t know what type of bond this is.”
At the revelation, everyone started yelling over each other and asking questions, of which Jongho was unable to decipher a single sentence.
The seven looked like a bunch of chattering baby birds that wanted food from its mother. He sighed and shook his head, thinking how the people in front of him were supposed to be older in age.
“Guys, one at a time!” he yelled.
“Okay, so it’s telepathy right?” Wooyoung asked.
“Yes and no.” Jongho paused to sort out what he wanted to say, “It’s telepathy, yes, because I consciously thought of something and it went through. But, only one kind of conscious thought out of all the other ones I tried to send, elicited a response.”
“That’s…weird?” Hongjoong muttered.
“And not just that, hyung. The response I received was in the form of a glimpse, showing me a vision through my soulmate’s eyes!”
“What?” exclaimed Mingi.
“So, it’s not just telepathy, it’s specific and supposedly one sided, while you receive sporadic glimpses through your soulmate’s eyes. That’s a very odd combination.” Wooyoung said, in deep thought.
“This is more complicated than yours was, hyung.” Jongho muttered.
“What do you mean?” Yeosang questioned, being able to hear what he said.
Jongho proceeded to tell them all the details regarding what he thought and what he saw in the glimpse, meanwhile not forgetting to expose Wooyoung and how he hid such crucial information about his own experience. The rest reprimanded Wooyoung for it, making him sulk, but they also collectively tried to figure out exactly how the bond worked.
“What happened!” Minha burst into Yunhee’s place, panting like she just ran a marathon.
“Why hello there best friend, why do you look as if you got chased by a dog?” Hayoon, their other best friend, asked sarcastically.
“Dude? I came here as fast as I could! I got Yunhee’s text a while ago that said ‘EMERGENCY’ in all caps! I thought some code blue shit happened to her!” Minha exclaimed.
“Wow, and I thought the text I received was bad… she sent, ‘come over, I have something to say’ that made me rush here because I thought she was pregnant or something, which would’ve been really bad considering her soulmate bond just activated.” Hayoon laughed.
At that very moment, Yunhee walked in with tubs of ice cream, suddenly feeling like she entered a lion’s den. The two girls yelled at her for being so dramatic over nothing but calmed down once she handed them their favourite ice cream.
“So, the reason I sent those ‘dramatic’ texts as you two so eloquently put it, is because I got contacted by my soulmate and I freaked out.” Yunhee revealed while rolling her eyes.
“What?” Minha yelled.
“When? How?” Hayoon followed.
“At night yesterday! I was trying to sleep after finishing the assignment and that’s when I heard his voice in my head telling me to write my name on paper. I don’t know why that was so specific but yeah I did as he said.”
“Did you hear anything in return?” Hayoon inquired.
“No, unfortunately. That was the only thing that came through.” Yunhee sulked.
“But hey! You got contacted by your soulmate! So we are sure that nothing happened to him and he’s probably trying to figure out how the bond works as well right?” Minha tried to cheer her up like the mom she was, unable to see her kid sad.
“Yeah, that’s true. I hope he figures it out though because I’m at a dead end here.”
“I’m sure he’ll figure it out! We currently have nothing to do but trust him and cheer him on. So don’t stress too much, Yuns. Stay alert and just wait for him to make the connection again.” Hayoon exclaimed, in a cheery voice.
“Exactly! Let’s trust him on this one and we can think more about it when he manages to contact you again. Meanwhile, tell us how he sounded! What did you feel?” Minha shook Yunhee in excitement.
So, the three girls spent the rest of their time discussing the interaction and other’s soulmate experiences while they enjoyed their ice cream.
Jongho recalled the conversation that he had with the guys earlier, who managed to come up with a few hypothetical situations for him to experiment.
He sat down on his desk with a notebook before him, taking notes like he would for a science class. The guys did have a few different ideas but Hongjoong’s idea made the most sense to Jongho.
Hongjoong proposed that the message that went through was a command rather than a suggestion or a question. And what Jongho received as a glimpse was the completion of said task that got sent as a command.
So what Jongho had to do was make his soulmate do tasks for him and if it worked out every time, then eventually find a way for them to meet face to face.
He relaxed himself and thought of a task for her to do.
“Okay, so I know that I’d probably not be able to know her name or see what she looks like through the bond so I can’t ask anything related to that.” He spoke out loud.
After thinking for a while, Jongho got an idea. He decided to send his soulmate to her favourite cafe and order her favourite drink. In this way he’ll be able to figure out which cafe she frequented and what drink she liked as well.
‘Go to your favourite cafe and order your favourite drink first thing in the morning.’ He thought, hoping that his soulmate heard it.
“Did it sound too rude? But I can’t send anything other than a command and commands don’t particularly sound nice though.” He spoke to himself again while scratching his head.
Before he could overthink more, Jongho wrote down what he said and headed to bed as he had classes to attend the next day.
Taking a last minute impulsive decision, Minha and Hayoon chose to stay the night at Yunhee’s house. The three slept over at each other’s places quite often, making it a regular occurrence in their lives. Yunhee let her mother know about it and she told her to grab the extra mattress that they had for such occasions.
While she was dragging the mattress to her room, she heard a crackle resonate in her mind like the last time. Yunhee dropped the mattress, focusing intently to see if her soulmate’s voice came through.
Minha was walking back with a glass of water when she spotted her by the living room standing as if she saw a ghost while the mattress was abandoned on the floor.
“Yuns, what happened–”
“Shush! I think I’m getting another message.” Yunhee quickly cut her off.
Indeed, the soothing voice she heard the first time spoke to her again, making the darn butterflies in her stomach return to torment her. She unconsciously smiled, the emotions that hearing her soulmate’s voice evoked in her being all very new.
Minha stared at her from the side, relating with the lovesick look on her friend’s face all too well.
“Go to your favourite cafe… and order your favourite drink first thing in the morning?” Yunhee repeated what her soulmate said to her out loud. She looked at Minha, tilting her head in obvious confusion.
“That’s what he said?” Minha looked equally perplexed.
“What is taking you two so long– why are y’all standing there with the mattress on the floor?” Hayoon came out of her room to check on the two.
Minha told her what happened while they dragged the mattress to Yunhee’s room. They sat down to think why her soulmate would send in yet another oddly specific message asking her to do something.
“You know what I think?” Hayoon said in a serious tone, unlike her usual carefree demeanour, “The only form of message he can send are the ones that tell Yunhee to do something. ‘Cause think about it! He probably already tried saying the common stuff like ‘what is your name’ or ‘where do you live’ like we telepathy types did, but in our case all the things we tried to send went through.”
Yunhee and Minha looked at each other for a few seconds before directing their attention back to Hayoon, who was raising her eyebrows at them.
“Wow dude, what’s up with you? You’re actually making sense today!” Yunhee exclaimed with fake enthusiasm while patting Hayoon on the shoulder, who rolled her eyes and pointed her middle finger towards Yunhee in return.
“Yeah! But Yoon’s right. Can’t relate though, ‘cause I was the tattoo type but she has a point. And I also think that he can somehow sense if you have done the given task or not or else he wouldn’t have any way of knowing if his messages are going through.” Minha added while laughing at Hayoon.
“I mean, the task is simple enough. I do visit cafe Aurora before heading to class anyway, so it won’t be anything out of the ordinary, I guess.” Yunhee muttered.
The three girls started their movie marathon, when Minha’s phone rang. It was a facetime call from her soulmate Changbin, who was also their childhood friend since middle school.
When Minha turned 18, which was three months back, she invited all her friends to attend the party, including Changbin. He was out of town that week so he couldn’t attend her birthday party.
The tattoo that appeared on Minha’s wrist was supposed to be the first thing her soulmate told her after it was activated, which said, “Happy birthday! Sorry I couldn’t make it, Min.”
Minha looked absolutely bewildered while Yunhee and Hayoon laughed at it like maniacs. She got teased by the other two the entire day, while she tried to appear nonchalant about it.
When they were younger, Minha never liked the concept of soulmates and always complained about the idea of getting paired up with a complete stranger for the rest of their lives as it seemed unnerving to her. But when she realised that her soulmate might be good old Changbin, she didn’t hate the idea anymore. It was true that Minha never saw him as anything more than a friend but he was an amazing guy and she did think he’d make a good partner.
At night she received a call from him and indeed, the first thing he said was “Happy birthday! Sorry I couldn’t make it, Min.”
Minha laughed and said, “Thanks, idiot.” when it dawned upon Changbin as well that his soulmate was none other than Minha.
They met up when Changbin returned (he basically scrambled to return as fast as he could) and made it official.
Among Yunhee’s friends, Minha and Changbin were probably the fastest soulmates to seal the bond which made a lot of them jealous because of how easy it was for them to find each other.
Back to the present, Changbin facetimed Minha who received the call.
“Hey Min, are you staying over at Yunhee’s today?”
“Yep. Sudden decision.”
“Oh okay, have fun! And pass the phone to Yunhee please.” Changbin spoke.
Yunhee peeked from the back and waved at him.
“You! What were you thinking when you sent a text like that, dumbass? Who sends ‘EMERGENCY’ and dips without explaining what happened?” He exclaimed.
“Ugh, okay fine sorry. I won’t send texts like that again. I got nagged enough by these two, I don’t need you to add anything to it, Binnie.” Yunhee whined.
“At least you’re fine and dandy so I’ll spare your ass today. How's the soulmate situation going?”
They told him everything that happened and gossiped with him for a few more minutes before hanging up.
Yunhee left to talk to her parents about something, only to come back to the room with her brows furrowed at the screen of her phone.
“Uh, Yoonie? Why is Eric texting me saying if I decided to keep the baby or not, and if I did he’ll help me convince my soulmate to keep it too?”
At this, Hayoon and Minha looked at each other, before they burst out laughing. Yunhee was still looking at them in bewilderment but the two were not being able to stop.
After two minutes of them laughing without break and Yunhee standing like the clown that she was, they finally stopped.
“Remember the text that you sent me? I showed it to Eric and he was the one who said ‘why does she sound like she’s going to announce her pregnancy or something’ and we realised that it could be a possibility, because dude, everyone knows that you write paragraphs when you text. So, such a thing was not to be taken lightly.” Hayoon shrugged.
At this Yunhee threw a pillow at her, yelling how her love life was as barren as the Sahara desert (because she couldn’t fall for anyone else when the thought of having a soulmate later in life hit her) and how she and her soulmate shared the same braincell.
“Come on! At least he’s supportive!” Hayoon defended Eric.
“Yeah yeah, I can see that. Let me call him and explain the whole thing, or else he’ll start preparing to be an uncle.”
Eric was Hayoon’s soulmate that she met 3 weeks after her 18th birthday. They were the telepathy type, being able to contact each other almost immediately after the soulmate bond was activated.
The two had a few bumps on the road, as Eric wasn’t cooperative in the beginning. The reason being that he liked this other girl and he couldn’t accept the fact that his soulmate was someone else. But the said girl found her soulmate a week after, which finally pushed Eric to move on and seek his own soulmate.
Minha and Yunhee didn’t like him, as he made their best friend suffer and put her at risk of getting ill due to the unsealed bond, but he redeemed himself eventually. Now they were a pretty wholesome couple.
After clearing the misunderstanding, they resumed the movie marathon, falling asleep in the midst of it.
Jongho didn’t feel like getting up. It was a cold winter morning, which made sleeping under the warmth of the duvet all the more enticing. But he had to wake up as he had an important class to attend that day.
He reached college early, so he was waiting inside the classroom when he saw it.
a glimpse of an awfully familiar cafe. He was able to hear her voice this time, when she spoke to order a regular hot mocha. A shiver ran down his body when he heard it, realising how sweet her voice sounded to him. Keeping his emotions at bay, he noticed two very familiar faces through the glimpse before it ended.
“Cafe Aurora, huh.” He smiled to himself. His soulmate was nearer to him than he thought.
As he entered through the door in a hurry to get away from the cold, Jongho noticed that the cafe was busier than usual. He figured that it was due to the freezing weather outside, while the cafe provided the warmth everyone including himself was seeking.
Upon reaching the front he spotted Soobin behind the cashier counter, taking orders like he usually does with a smile on his face. Beomgyu was in the middle calling out names and distributing drinks while San was at the back making them for the customers.
He eventually spotted Jongho and called another worker to take his place, so that he could go greet his friend.
“Jongho? Fancy seeing you here.” San spoke up in a playful tone.
“Why? Can’t I visit my dear hyung during his shift?” Jongho retaliated.
“No, of course you can but you usually don’t frequent this place. Remember when you told me it was far from your house and you already found another place to get your iced americano from?” San raised his eyebrows making Jongho avert his gaze.
“Okay, fine! You got me there. I came here to ask you something.” he pouted.
“Ei, don’t feel bad! I was teasing you! But do visit me more often from now okay? What did you want to ask?” San laughed while patting his back.
“So, I saw another glimpse this morning. I’ll tell you the details later but I think Hongjoong hyung’s theory worked. Can you tell me if you remember any girl, possibly a regular here, ordering hot mocha around 8 am?”
“I make the drinks dude, I wouldn’t know. Hey, Gyu? Can you come over for a sec?” San yelled.
Beomgyu, who finally got to breathe after distributing the drinks, clicked his tongue and walked over to where the two were standing.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Do you remember any regular female customer that came today around 8 am to order a hot mocha?” San asked him.
“Okay first of all, I have been distributing over hundreds of drinks, at least 30 of which were hot mochas. And if we are talking about 8 am then a lot of people came in to get their morning fix before college so I don’t think I can help you.” He paused.
“You could check the server but I doubt that would be of any help either, because a lot of female regular customers order hot mochas in the morning so…” Beomgyu shrugged.
“Okay thanks, Gyu. We’ll figure something out.” San sighed.
“Why? Did anyone take a drink without paying again?” Beomgyu inquired in a concerned voice.
“No, no. We’re trying to find Jongho’s soulmate.” San and Jongho laughed at Beomgyu’s expression.
“Oh, thank god. Good luck searching for her, bro.” Beomgyu gave Jongho a thumbs up before resuming his work.
San looked at Jongho, who was deep in thought.
“How’d you know she came to Aurora?”
“Oh, come on hyung, I’d recognise the interior anywhere! Plus, she gave her order to Soobin and you were at the back making drinks. I saw you two in the glimpse.” Jongho poked San in the shoulders, making him swat his hand away.
“Moreover, I think I found out how the bond works. So, I’ll increase contact and try to get her to meet me somehow.”
“That’s the spirit! I know you’ll succeed Jongho-yah.” San said with a proud look on his face.
He asked Jongho if he still wanted to order an iced americano in a weather like that, to which he said yes. San shook his head at the boy but proceeded to make him what he wanted, yelling how he wouldn’t take any responsibility if Jongho caught a cold later.
He just smiled and gestured at him to continue making the drink.
Two days have passed since Yunhee received the last message from her soulmate. She was trying not to think about it, distracting herself with other things but every now and then her mind would fleet to the honey-like voice which evoked an unexplainable sense of longing in her. She wanted to hear his voice again.
During breaks, the trio made a point to gather whenever their schedules coincided, to catch up and complain about college, even though it was just their freshman year.
Yunhee was walking towards their hangout spot with Hayoon when she felt like another message was coming through. She stopped walking and tapped Hayoon on the shoulder to do the same.
The now familiar voice reverberated in her head saying “Write the name of your favourite flower on your notebook.”
She stood there with a faraway look in her eyes, while the girl beside her extended and retracted her hand awkwardly, not knowing if she should shake her best friend or not.
Hayoon didn’t have to suffer in indecisiveness for long, as Minha approached them and did the job for her by back hugging Yunhee, bringing her out of her trance.
“Why are you two standing here? Let’s go.”
“Wait, Yunhee received another telepathic message. What is it bro?” Hayoon asked Yunhee.
“He asked me to write the name of my favourite flower. What is he up to?”
“It’s just flowers Yunhee, he probably wanted to know basic stuff like that so that he can be prepared when he finally meets you.” Minha reasoned.
“Okay let’s go sit, so that I can write it down.”
The three headed to their hangout place. As soon as Yunhee sat down, she reached for her bag to bring the notebook out. She opened it and wrote, ‘sunflowers, but pink roses are great too’ after much thought.
The other two teased her saying they already knew she was going to write sunflowers so she really didn’t have to ponder so much, but Yunhee disagreed by saying how she found all flowers pretty so it was hard for her to pick one.
The following day, Yunhee received another message that asked her to write yes in the notebook if she was available on the weekend and no if she wasn’t.
She ended up writing a ‘YES’ in capital letters on her notebook that probably covered the whole page, out of sheer excitement.
Jongho on the other hand received a glimpse of it, laughing at how adorable she was. It was as though he felt the excitement of his soulmate and that made him more eager and impatient to meet her.
Yunhee immediately informed Hayoon and Minha about it, who were equally thrilled for their best friend and promised to help her get ready for the occasion.
Weekend arrived faster than the two soulmates anticipated. Jongho made sure to send her a message saying “Go to cafe Aurora at 4pm” before he started preparing to meet her.
He got ready at three and sent a message to his group chat asking which flower he should pick between sunflowers and pink roses. Most of them suggested him to buy both and get them arranged in a nice bouquet.
What Jongho didn’t know, however, was that the seven were already camping at cafe Aurora (excluding San because it was his shift anyway) to watch the scene unfold.
Yunhee finally finished getting ready with the help of her two best friends. She opted for a classy but casual look: flared jeans, puffy sleeved black top, minimal pearl accessories and light makeup.
She kept stressing and overthinking about the entire situation like the worrywart she was. At first Minha and Hayoon were trying to reassure her and alleviate her concerns but after a while it became frustrating for them so they nagged her and threw her out of the house before it was too late.
Yunhee, although still anxious about the whole meeting up with her soulmate situation, took deep breaths and reminded herself how much she had been wanting to meet her soulmate for the past few days. After calming down a bit, she headed towards the cafe.
Jongho arrived at the cafe, the bouquet of flowers in hand. It seemed as though he attracted quite a bit of attention, because of how big the assortment of flowers looked due to the big and vibrant sunflowers. He didn’t think much of it however, opting to find a suitable seat while he waited for his soulmate to arrive.
San on the other hand, went inside the storage room upon Jongho’s arrival to alert the other six who were hiding in there. The guys were trying to find a suitable position to peek in through the door; bickering in low voices to prevent being seen. Yunho had to hold his hand over Wooyoung’s mouth in case he yelled unintentionally and gave out their position.
Meanwhile, San explained the whole situation to Beomgyu and Soobin, who finally understood what was going on.
“Here goes nothing.” Yunhee muttered to herself while she pushed the door to the cafe open. Upon entering she noticed that the cafe was moderately busy– an unusual sight for her as she always visited early in the morning during the rush hour, when all the seats were occupied and a huge queue present.
She didn’t know what to look for as her soulmate hadn’t really mentioned anything that would help her identify him in the crowd, but she hoped that her ‘soulmate senses’ would assist her with it (if such a thing existed).
Soobin noticed her standing awkwardly by the door and called her.
“Hello! Yunhee, right?” he said.
“Oh, hi! Yeah, I usually drop by before going to college. I’m glad you remember my name!” Yunhee was grateful to him for striking up a conversation.
“You seemed like you were searching for someone. Do you perhaps need some help?” He inquired.
“I was, actually! To be honest, I don’t know what he looks like.” she paused. “It’s… my soulmate and today is supposed to be our first meeting.” Yunhee said truthfully.
Upon hearing what she said, Soobin immediately yelled at San to come to the counter, who was standing at the back.
Yunhee saw Soobin whisper something to his ear and he looked at her with his eyebrows raised in shock. He then moved back to allow the guy to stand in his place.
“Hi! I’m San and I usually handle making beverages at the back. Soobin here just told me that you are looking for your soulmate, is that right?” He asked politely.
“Nice to meet you! And yeah, I am.” She replied.
“Looks like we’ll meet each other more often from now on, Ms.Yunhee.” San said while smiling. “And you might want to look there, on the right side, where a guy is sitting with a huge bouquet of flowers. Good luck!” He instructed while pointing towards the table.
Yunhee approached said table and immediately noticed the assortment of sunflowers and pink roses along with a few other flowers. She tapped on the table to get the guy’s attention, who was on his phone with his back to her.
Jongho looked up, only to find, arguably, the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes upon. He seemed to be in a trance, everything but the girl in front of him becoming a blur.
Yunhee wasn’t faring any better, feeling like her heart was beating out of her chest as she stared at the guy that was supposed to be her soulmate.
Both of them felt like something clicked in place, like the final piece in a puzzle that they didn’t even know was missing all this time.
Jongho recovered first, standing up to move the bouquet so that Yunhee could sit in the seat in front of him. Once she settled down, he swiftly handed the flowers to her, to which she thanked him in a bashful way.
“I did think your choice of flower was unique, but now that I saw you face to face, it suits you.” Jongho said, after clearing his voice.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thanks.” Yunhee replied.
“I’m Jongho. Choi Jongho. Sophomore in college.”
“Park Yunhee. Freshman.”
“Yunhee… a pretty name for an even prettier person it seems.” Jongho replied playfully, making her blush.
They carried their conversation, feeling quite relaxed and comfortable after a while. Yunhee asked him a bunch of different questions, as she couldn’t do that with their bond earlier and Jongho patiently answered every query that she had with a smile on his face, not missing to ask her some in return.
The more they communicated, the more they realised how similar their values and preferences were, which dispelled all the concerns they had about liking each other.
Jongho got up to collect their order when he noticed the six heads peeking through a door in the distance. He made his way towards the door and swung it open, to see the six guys trying to hide behind carton boxes.
Jongho folded his arms and glared at them while they stuttered trying to explain the situation. Meanwhile, San pretended he did not see anything and continued his work.
Being discovered already, the guys came out from the storage room and greeted Yunhee, who was taken aback at first but reciprocated their enthusiasm almost immediately.
She could see how embarrassed Jongho looked because of them so she tried to console him by saying that her friends were like this too and they’d all get along really well once they met.
The guys started leaving one by one, seeing how Jongho’s death glare was still quite evident and they didn’t want to be at the receiving end of their youngest’s wrath.
Jongho sighed and apologised to Yunhee again for his friends’ sudden intrusion to which she was fine with and said that it was quite nice to meet the people he was close to.
They finished their beverages and chose to take a walk outside before heading home.
As they were walking along the pavement, Jongho felt a sudden urge to hold her hand. He tried to appear nonchalant and brushed his hand with hers, to which Yunhee responded by grabbing his hand while looking the other way.
As someone who hated skinship with all his being, Jongho didn’t quite fathom why he felt the need to initiate physical contact with the girl walking beside him. Something as simple as holding hands was making his emotions go haywire.
'So this is what having a soulmate feels like.' Jongho thought.
“Right? I always felt like it was a foreign concept to me, which I couldn’t relate to at all when the people around me shared their stories. But now that I’m experiencing it for myself, I get what they were saying.” Yunhee replied, while swinging their joint hands back and forth.
Jongho looked at her, perplexed about how she knew what he was thinking when their soulmate bond was supposed to dissipate once they met; not to mention it wasn’t regular telepathy to begin with.
Yunhee glanced back at him, to see his head tilted endearingly towards her in confusion.
“You said that out loud, Jongho.” She pointed out while giggling at his expression.
“Oh, I didn’t realise that.” Jongho turned his head away to hide his embarrassment but Yunhee noticed how red his ears were, making her chuckle again. He figured that he really loved how her laugh sounded.
After their impromptu stroll, Jongho took Yunhee home.
They were at the gate, when the girl turned around and held both of Jongho’s hands.
“I had a lovely time today, so thank you so much for that. Thank you for not giving up on me even after knowing how complicated it was trying to find how our bond worked, as I completely started depending on you after not having a single clue about it. I know that our life was kind of on the line too but still I’d like to express my gratitude. And also… thanks for not turning out a jerk I guess?” Yunhee ended with a mischievous smile, making Jongho laugh.
“Then I’d also like to express my gratitude for the fact that you chose to trust me on this and I’m so glad that you’re my soulmate.” Jongho smiled warmly while squeezing her hands tighter. “Also, thanks for not being a snobbish Karen.” He ended with a wink.
Both Yunhee and Jongho felt all warm inside just by looking at each other. Every emotion that they felt just by doing the bare minimum seemed heightened and it was a complete new experience for both of them.
The day ended as Yunhee hugged Jongho despite him telling her he hated skinship, and surprisingly Jongho didn’t mind it and hugged her back.
Yunhee promised to introduce her parents and friends to him some other day, to which Jongho wholeheartedly agreed, saying he’d do the same.
At last they parted ways, Yunhee entering her house and Jongho on his way home even though they didn’t want the day to end.
Unspoken promises of a life together at each other's side lingered on. A life, where they were bound to be together, chosen as each other’s counterparts by fate itself. No matter how many lives they lived, the red string of fate would always bring the destined souls to one another; such was the way of the universe.
#ateez#ateez au#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez scenarios#ateez x oc#kpop fanfic#ateez oneshot#jongho oneshot#jongho fluff#jongho angst#jongho x reader#jongho x oc#jongho imagines#ateez jongho#choi jongho#jongho#hongjoong#yeosang#seonghwa#san#mingi#wooyoung#yunho#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang
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i wanted that pain || George Weasley
Title: i wanted that pain
Pairing: George x Reader, but also mentions of George x OC and Reader x OC
Summary: he wanted a bride, i was making my own name
A/N: the next part of the anthology is here! When i originally planned this out it had a different vibe but im actually really happy with how this turned out! As always feedback is welcome! <3
-
She only does it when she’s had a few glasses of wine and is feeling loose, but not sleepy enough to crawl into bed.
Some people might call her a masochist, looking at what could have been had she made a different choice that day. Others might call her pathetic, that’s she’s pining over something that she gave up long ago. Only Y/N knows the truth.
She knows that she doesn’t look up George on Wizstagram because she’s jealous of the life he lives and wants to inflict pain on herself. And she also knows that she doesn’t regret any second of the life she’s lived and she’s sitting there agonizing over what her life could have been. Because Y/N knows that she’s happy, and that the path she took in life was the right one for her. She knows that just because her life doesn’t look like George’s doesn’t mean she’s not content and satisfied with where she ended up.
Looking up her ex-boyfriend on Wizstagram is not a form of self-torture. It’s a form of reassurance.
Y/N has been feeling nostalgic lately after hearing the news that McGonagall has decided to finally retire, which is probably why she’s curled up under her favorite blanket, second glass of wine in one hand and her phone in the other. It’s probably been over a year since she looked George up on Wizstagram, and unsurprisingly when she types in @MischiefManager2 to the search bar, an account with George’s face as the profile pic pops up immediately.
The most recent photo is one she knows well, since she was the one who took it. Fred and George have a frowning McGonagall sandwiched between them, the smiles on their faces brighter than the sun. It’s from their graduation, well her and Lee’s graduation, since the Twins didn’t technically finish the year and could only attend as guests. They had insisted on getting a photo with their favorite Professor, and Y/N had been happy to oblige them. McGonagall not so much.
Graduation day is often the day Y/N thinks back on as the day that changed her life forever. Not only had she graduated from Hogwarts, the culmination of seven years of hard work. But before the ceremony McGonagall had pulled her aside to let her know that St. Mungos had accepted her into Specialized Healer Training.
And of course, that was the day she ended things with George, catapulting her life in a totally different direction.
-
“Baby,” George murmurs as Y/N catapults herself into his arms. He grips her tightly, lifting her feet off the ground as he hugs her. He brushes his lips against the shell of her ear, inhaling against her hair. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
His words light her up inside, and Y/N wraps her legs around George’s hips so she can cling to him even tighter. It’s been a lonely few months since he and Fred made their departure from Hogwarts, and it feels so good to be back in his arms.
They stand there amidst everyone else celebrating for a few more moments, just content with holding each other. When George finally puts Y/N back down he leans in, capturing her lips with his. “You’re finally free,” he murmurs against her mouth when their kiss breaks, before pressing their mouths together again.
A pang of sadness rips through her chest at George’s words. Because while her time at Hogwarts is coming to an end, she’s not quite done with school. Just before the ceremony started McGonagall had pulled Y/N aside, letting her know that she was one of four other students who had been accepted into the Specialized Healer training program at St. Mungos. This is the culmination of all her hard work, every hour in the library, extra credit assignment and summer spent volunteering at St. Mungos has led to this. Y/N has always wanted to be a Healer, and this program is the only thing that stands in her way of completing her lifelong dream.
But it also means more time away from George. While St. Mungos is located in Central London, the program requires participants to spend time at smaller Wizard clinics and hospitals all over the world, to expose them to all different kinds of ailments and treatments. For the next four years she’ll be traveling and studying nonstop, and Y/N had been overjoyed when McGonagall shared the news.
Except she’d forgotten one major thing. George.
“There’s something I need to tell you about.” Y/N says solemnly, breaking their kiss.
“What’s wrong?” George responds immediately. He cups Y/N’s face, his thumb gently caressing his jaw. “Whatever it is, baby we’ll get through it together.”
“I got into the Healer Training Program.”
George’s eyes light up with excitement. “Baby! That’s amazing! I’m so fucking proud of you.” Except the smile on his face turns into a frown when Y/N doesn’t share his joy. “Why aren’t you excited? Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“Yes, of course it is,” Y/N starts, her voice apprehensive. “But the program, it’s really intense and it’s four more years of training.”
“Oh,” George murmurs. “Well that’s not too bad. Fred and I are so busy at the shop that we’re barely ever in the flat so it’ll be plenty quiet for you to study in. And in a year or two, once we’re really making money we can get a place just for us with room for you to have a proper office. And it doesn’t even have to be in Diagon Alley, we can rent somewhere closer to St. Mungos and-.”
“George,” Y/N interrupts, pressing a finger to his lips to keep him from continuing. “The program doesn’t take place at St. Mungos. The first few weeks do, but after that the Cohort travels all over the world, spending time in different places and at different hospitals.”
“For how long?” he asks once Y/N lets him speak, but she can tell by the tone of his voice that he already knows the answer to that question.
“The whole four years, George.”
“Oh,” George repeats, a sullen look taking over his face. “But there’s other programs, right? Other ways to become a Healer?”
Y/N nods slowly, not liking the train of thought George is heading down. “Well, yes. I could become an apprentice, working under a current Healer and then in ten years I’ll be eligible to take the examinations to be a general Healer.”
”And that will keep you in London?”
”Yes,” Y/N answers, frowning when a smile lights up George’s face. Clearly he thinks he’s just found the solution to all of their problems. “But George, this program is my dream. I’ll get to learn from the best Healers in the world, and when I graduate I’ll be in a higher position and I’ll get to enter any department I want.”
A frown takes over his face once again. “But what about our dreams, Y/N? The things we’ve been talking about and planning for the last three years?”
Of course she knows exactly what George is talking about. Ever since they got together in their fourth year, both Y/N and George knew they were in it for the long haul. Even though they were young and people, mainly Fred, found it foolish that they were thinking in terms of forever, they were firm in their assertion that they’d found their person and nothing anyone could say would change their mind.
So they talked. About Y/N’s career plans, and George’s. Fred and George would open their dream store after graduation, and Y/N would start the journey to becoming a Healer. They’d move in together in the summer, and by the following fall they would be engaged. A small wedding would be held at The Burrow in the spring, and the following winter they’d try for their first baby.
Back then Y/N never imagined that she’d get into the Specialized Healer Training program at St. Mungos, since it’s so competitive. So she and George never talked about what their future would look like if Y/N had to be away for a few years. In all their daydreaming, Y/N was always an apprentice at St. Mungos, slowly working her way up to being a full Healer while they grew their family. As an apprentice she would have the luxury of taking time off and being a hands on Mum, and by the time she was a full Healer their kids would be older and George would be settled enough in his career to take over most of the child minding.
And Y/N had been content with that reality. She would have the husband, the kids and the career she always wanted. But all of that flew out the window the second McGonagall gave her the good news. This program is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and Y/N will never forgive herself if she walks away from it.
“We can still have those dreams, Georgie. We just need to adjust our timeline a little bit.” She speaks softly, dragging her fingertips across George’s cheek. “We can still have all of those things someday, when I’m finished with my program and back in London full time.”
”But I don’t want those things someday, Y/N,” George responds, his tone harsh. “I want that all now, like we’ve always talked about. There’s space for your things in my closet and there’s an engagement ring tucked away in my sock drawer waiting for the perfect moment. I’m ready for our future together to start now, and I thought you were too.”
George’s grip on her loosens, and Y/N’s heart aches as she steps out of his embrace. “I was, George. But this changes everything. This program is what I’ve worked my ass off for, it’s what I’ve had my sights set on long before I ever even knew you. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t go.”
“And I don't know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you if you do go.”
His words hurt, jabbing her in the chest as if he’s stabbed her with a knife. Tears pool in Y/N’s eyes, and she shakes her head. “Don’t make me choose between you and this program, George. Please. We can do this, it’s only four years.”
George shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything. His face is firm, his eyes narrowed in determination. It’s clear to Y/N that he’s going to make her be the one to decide. She can either have her program, or she can have the life her and George have dreamed about, there is no world where both options can exist.
“I’m sorry,” Y/N whispers after a few moments of silence. She slowly takes a few steps back from George, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Goodbye George.”
-
Seeing that picture doesn’t bring Y/N the pang of sadness she expected it to. It took her months to even talk about what happened that day, and it took well over a year before she would look at any of the pictures her friends and parents had taken. A day that was supposed to be full of joy and celebration quickly became one of agonizing pain and she never wanted to feel that way again.
Taking that photo of George and Fred is the last happy memory she has from their relationship, but looking at it now all she feels is gratitude. Because while breaking up with George was the hardest, most painful thing she’s ever had to do, she doesn’t regret it for a second.
Joining that training program was one of the best decisions she’s ever made, the places Y/N got to see and the things she experienced were life changing. When she returned back to England and joined St. Mungos she had her pick of placements, and Y/N has spent the last several years in the Janus Thickey Ward, working with their longtime patients and permanent spell damage.
If she had chosen George all those years ago she’d barely be eligible for the exams to certify her as a general Healer, and she’d never have the opportunities she does now.
Y/N scrolls through the next few photos, stopping briefly to admire the pictures of him and Fred, and the snapshot of the entire Weasley family taken during a recent family dinner. The Weasley family was always so tight knit, and it’s nice to see that time hasn’t changed that fact. Family was always George’s number one priority, and Y/N knows it would kill him not to be close with his siblings.
The next photo she stops on is one of George and his wife. Melody is her name, and Y/N has heard from various channels that she was in the year below them at Hogwarts, and they met when Fred and George hired her as a potion master for the joke shop.
The picture is from their wedding day, and the caption lets Y/N know that George had posted it in celebration of their anniversary. Posted only a few months ago to celebrate their seven year wedding anniversary, she does some quick mental math. It’s been ten years since graduation, meaning it’s been the same amount of time since the break up. George and Melody didn’t meet until a year after that, meaning they were together for around two years before tying the knot.
It does hurt a little, knowing that it took George three years to meet and marry someone else, when if they had stayed together he wouldn’t have had to wait much longer to marry Y/N. But it would have hurt more if he had met and married someone way quicker than that, so she doesn’t dwell on it for too long.
In the photo they’re smiling at each other, and the genuine joy on their faces makes Y/N smile too. George may have been someone she cared deeply for, and losing him hurt - but he wasn’t the man she was supposed to be with and she’s glad he found his person.
She’d be a hypocrite if she ever thought otherwise, considering her person is upstairs right now getting ready for bed.
Y/N met Ben during her Healer training. He had been a student at Beauxbatons, so their paths had never crossed until the first day of the program. Of course she had instantly found him attractive, but with her heart still so raw from the breakup with George they started off as just friends. Halfway through their second year, after scrolling on Wizstagram and seeing a picture of George for the first time since the breakup, Y/N realized she felt nothing for him anymore and the pain from the break up and fully ran its course.
She asked Ben out on a date the next night and they’ve been together ever since.
Y/N doesn’t doubt that what she and George had between them was love, but after being with Ben she knows now that it wasn’t true love. And when she looks at this photo of George and Melody, she knows he has that with her too.
The sound of Ben’s footsteps coming down the stairs is a sign that her trip down memory lane is coming to an end, so she scrolls to the next photo for one last look. In it George is holding probably the tiniest baby she’s ever seen, surrounded by four kids of varying ages all rocking the same shock of ginger hair as their dad. The caption reveals that it’s a birth announcement, and Y/N can practically feel her uterus contract at the thought of having five kids in under seven years.
But George always wanted a big family, and she used to think that was something she wanted too. Being an only child growing up was lonely, and when Y/N would go back home with George for the holidays she was envious at how close everyone was, and how The Burrow was always full of laughter and love. So when they talked about their future children it was obvious that they would have several, with them as close together as possible just like George and his siblings.
Time and maturity helped Y/N realize that popping out baby after baby was only her dream because of her relationship with George. Healing can be a demanding career, and the Healers they trained with who had families always made sure to stress how difficult it can be to handle parenthood and their career. While many of them were able to balance the responsibilities that come with being a parent and their love for their career, for a lot of them it came with sacrifices. Several of them ended up divorcing their partners who couldn’t understand that their job wasn’t always predictable, and there would be times that they came home late or missed out on things. Others had ended up taking time off, or going into lesser positions in order to have a better work/life balance.
With how much Y/N loved her program and knowing who she is as a person, she quickly found out that whatever plan she and George had worked out regarding children was built on the naïveté of two kids who thought they knew everything. Growing up she had two dreams, being a Healer and being a mother. With the amount of kids she and George always talked about having, also having the career she wanted would have never been a possibility. Something would have had to give, and Y/N knows she would have chosen her family over everything.
She also knows that once her kids were grown and at Hogwarts and she had no career to fall back on she would have regretted that decision. And that’s not something she would ever want to put on her children. So she decided quite early on that while she definitely would have kids someday, it would not be the brood she always imagined.
Her and Ben had married a month after graduating from their program, two weeks before a little pink plus sign appeared after Y/N peed on a stick. Having children wasn’t something they had discussed too much in detail. They both had agreed it was something they both wanted at some point, but weren’t too fussy about how many or when.
After their son was born, Y/N and Ben quickly decided that if they chose to have more kids, it wouldn’t be for several more years. Being new to their careers and having a newborn was a challenge neither of them were prepared for, and Y/N can’t remember how many times she went to work with vomit dried in her hair or her clothes backward from exhaustion.
And two months ago when their daughter came out, both of them knew their family was complete.
Two kids in five years is plenty for Y/N, and she silently gives kudos to George’s wife for managing her brood. She’s exhausted just thinking about it.
When Ben plops down on the couch next to her Y/N tosses her phone aside, letting her husband pull her into his side. He takes the glass of wine from her hand, quickly draining the rest of the liquid.
”You’d think I’d be immune to all of the smells a baby has doing what we do. But Godric, the atrocities your daughter committed while I tried to put her pajamas on?” Ben shudders. “I’m scarred for life.”
Y/N just shakes her head in laughter at her husband’s dramatics, knowing full well he’ll be the first one out of bed tonight the second their daughter cries.
Noticing her pensive mood, Ben places a finger under Y/N’s chin, lifting it up so they can make eye contact. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just being a bit nostalgic,” she reassures, giving her husband a small smile. “I was stalking George on Wizstagram.”
Ben rolls his eyes, returning his wife’s grin. “Ah, I see. Yearning for the life you gave away?” He teases.
She knows he’s joking, but she shakes her head. “Nope, I’ve got everything I ever wanted right here.”
#george weasley#george weasley imagine#george weasley fanfiction#george weasley fic#gw#golden#harry potter
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One Step at a Time | Chapter 2. Recipe for disaster
Calvin Evans x OC Reader
Summary: Everything in Ava Mason's life was what you call normal. She has a steady job as a lab tech at Hastings, has a beautiful bungalow in Sugar Hill, and sometimes babysits her friend Harriet's kids. But that all changes when social services show up at her doorstep with, her 2-year-old niece Delilah. Ever since then, it has been keeping you from your job, going to work late, and leaving when everyone else has gone home. But a certain chemist wants to know why a lab tech is staying late.
Warning: Angst, swearing, mentions of drug & alcohol abuse, dysfunctional family, mentions of adoptions & being put into foster care, and a whole lotta fluff. (Bold Letters mean flashbacks)
(This story is kind of based on what actually happened in Lessons in Chemistry. But no dying. We need to keep one of Lewis's characters alive.)
2.15 years ago
You jolt up out of bed when I hear someone aggressively banging on my door. I try my bed to wake myself up the best I can and get the deep sleep out of my eyes.
I shuffle my feet out onto the cold floors of my apartment to see what all of the loud commotions was. As I open the door I can already see the eye I have looked at so many times.
“H-Hi, sis,” Izzy says to me with a shaky voice, almost sounding like she was coming down from a cold of some sort. The last time I saw her was at my high school graduation, high as a kite not knowing where she was. But over the years we would write to each other, me telling her I was finally going to college, and pursuing a PhD in chemistry. But with her, she only wrote when she was in a new state, with a new boyfriend, saying she was finally going to get clean, and do right. That promise was only broken when my parents would call and say she was in jail for possession of some type of substance.
But this was different, you don’t know how, and you don’t know why but you felt uneasy about why your sister was here. You're not thinking right now and your mind is on auto-pilot, so you invite her in, and let her sit down while you grab her a cup of tea.
Once the teacup is set on the coffee table, find out why your estranged sister is really here.
I try to ask her what brings her into town, but before I can even get a word out she starts to uncontrollably sob. I just wrap her up in an embracing hug and try to get her to calm down a little bit.
Once the tears settle a little bit, she sits up and just looks at me with a blank expression.
“I’m Pregnant.” was the only thing that came out of her mouth. I just looked at her with the same expression she had earlier. Such a new surprise to hear. Suddenly Izzy starts to shed more tears. “Hey, calm down, just tell me what happened, Okay?”
Then she starts to talk about how she started dating this guy named Tom that she met in AA, saying he was really sweet, and kind to her in the beginning. Until she found out he was using again, she could control herself so she started back up again. Then she says she found out a couple of weeks ago, then she told Tom, but that ended up with her getting kicked out of his apartment and sitting here on my couch.
“Were you using drugs when you found out?” you ask her, not only worried about her, but the well-being of the baby. She doesn’t have to look at me she moves towards the end of the couch. I just let out a frustrated sigh. Trying to come up with a solution to this problem.
“I’ll… I’ll let you stay here for a little while. But only if you get clean. I'll help out with the baby, unless you thought about other options…” You don’t want to say it out loud, not wanting to see that happen to your sister. Trying not to let her go through that pain all by herself. But she looks up and nods quickly.
“But Izzy, This is a drug-free zone. I’m not going to let it affect you, or the baby. Got it?” Then she starts to cry again and shuffles into my arms, staying there until she’s calm.
I see her look up at me, “Thank you, Peach. I promise this is going to be it. I’m going to stop this time. I’m gonna be a good mom and get my own place. I’m gonna have a better life now.”I remember she would always call me by my nickname when she felt sorry, I haven’t heard that name in a long time, it always brings up bad memories for us.
But I try and let it go. So, I just nod and give her a half smile, letting her be wrapped in a warm embrace again.
As I see her lying in my bed, I believe this is probably the best night's sleep she has had in the last couple of days. I watch her chest rise and fall at a steady pace. Also watches as she clutches her hand to her stomach already in mama bear mode, wanting to protect her family from anything.
I shut the door to my room a little bit, not wanting to disturb her. Just so she can’t see me. I let a few tears escape my eyes. I was scared for my sister. Scared for the baby. I don’t know how to do this. I was in college, finally doing something for myself, finally living my dream. But I wasn't going to put my sister aside, she needs me more than ever. I would want to talk more with her tomorrow, so I just slumped my body on the couch and tried to fall asleep the best I could.
Let’s see what happens.
After a little consideration, a valuable lesson of ‘sex discrimination’ for Donatti, and some paperwork, I could finally move over to Calvin’s lab to work with him.
After days turned into weeks, Calvin and I worked like a well-oiled machine. Helping each other figure out equations, setting up equipment for the different trials, and Listening to new and exciting music while working. I would always be enamored with him, but I tried to keep my feelings away from my work. As being told by Fran, when asking her to work with Dr. Evans, she would tell me that there was no professional relationship between a man and a woman, and say it would be a complete disaster if we were paired up together.
I wouldn’t let her judgment get the best of me, I would always want to keep my feelings out of the lab. But no matter what I tried to do, they would always come back. Also trying to figure out why he was taking up space in my mind for my everyday thoughts. But this moment was about to change for the better.
Just as I was about to start a new trial, I heard the phone start to ring. So, I paused the experiment and picked up the phone to see who was calling.
“Hello, Ava Mason speaking,” I say in a polite tone. But I hear someone on the other line, seeming they be out of breath. “Ava, it’s Harriet,” it sounded like something was wrong, I started to feel the hairs on the back of my neck, rise, sacred something happened to the kids. To Delilah. “Harriet, are you okay? Are the kids okay? What’s wrong?” I start to ask in a panicked tone. Wanting to know what’s happening on the other line.
“The kids are okay, there in the house in Linda’s room. But, there’s this woman here. She’s high as a kite, and saying she might know you, and she wants to see Del.” I can hear my heartbeat through my ears, and afraid it might just pop out of my chest. “Did she tell you her name?” was the only thing I asked back. “I think she said her name was Izzy? I’m not sure. But I think you should come down here. I’ve already called the police they should be here in a little bit. I’ll see you soon.” After that, I hear the line go dead, and hear complete silence.
How could this happen? Why is she here? How did she get here? There are so many thoughts zipping throughout your mind, that you don’t realize a couple of minutes later your cheeks feel wet. You start to breathe heavily, feeling like you're not getting enough air for some reason. You don’t know why, so you brace your hands on the table, and try to regain your breathing. Also, I do not notice that Calvin has walked back in from his run. Probably explaining what went wrong in the last trial, and what we can do better in the next.
I could see him walk towards me worriedly, wanting to know what was wrong with me. “I-I need… I need to go.” I mumble to myself, while also trying to look around for my belongings with tears still in my eyes. Trying to get out as fast as I can. But I could still feel Calvin watching me, I could see him try and touch my shoulder, but before he could, I backed away from him and made my way out the door.
As I’m walking down the hallway, I can hear Calvin calling after me. As I reach the end of the hallway I turn around. “This was a mistake…” I say to him. I turn back around make my way out of the building, and try to get back to my Duckie.
(Short Calvin POV)
As I’m sitting in the room I’m trying to tell Ava about the last problem we had in our trial. I was thinking about it when I was on my run. As I was spewing about what we could do to improve the next time, I did get to see her slumped over on the counter whimpering. When I finished talking about the trial, I turned to see her standing up straight and seeing she had red, puffy eyes. Like she’s been crying for a few hours. I tried and ask her if something was wrong, but I could only hear her mumbling that she had to go while grabbing her belongings and trying to leave. I walk over to her some more and try, to get her to calm down, but she jolts away from me and looks at me with her red eyes like I branded her with evil words. I tried and ask what was wrong but she was already out the door, wondering if was something I did. Because whatever it may concern, I was certainly going to try and fix it.
I try and run after her but I see her turn around, saying that this was a mistake. Then she disappeared around the corner.
I’m still in shock by what happened, I’m trying to think back to see what I could’ve done to make her want to stop working with me. Was it the way I work, the way I leave peanut crumbs on the table and not clean up after? I would simply change anything. Anything to see her again in the lab. Seeing her smile anytime I would try to make a stupid joke, the way her nose crinkles when she trying to solve an equation. I would do anything to see her face again.
Anything.
(Back to your POV)
I barely put the car in park when I pulled up to Harriet’s house a nervous wreck. I can also see Izzy on the porch steps crying, and yelling back at Harriet telling her that she’s not leaving until she sees me and Delilah. As I’m walking up next to Harriet, she already sees me, and wrapping me in her embrace.
“I came here as soon as I called, where are the kids?” I ask her in a panic. “The kids are fine, Del’s a little shaken up. But they are safe in the house.” She tells me all of this, but I can see out of the corner of my eye Izzy trying to stand up and stumble her way over to us.
“Hi, Peach, how have ya been?” I feel a shutter throughout my whole body. Trying not to let those bad memories creep back into my mind.
“W-what are you doing here Izzy?” I’m trying my hardest to speak in a civil tone with her while trying not to break down.
“I’m here for my daughter,” She says back to me in a slurred type voice. “I’m better now-” “Yea I can clearly see that Izzy. The cops are coming, so I think you should go.” Me and Harriet walk past her, so we can see how the kids are holding up.
“She’s my Daughter!” She shouts at you. Thinking she has a say in what happens with Delilah at this point.
“And I’m Her Guardian! I am supposed to provide a safe and loving home for her. And I need to protect her and make sure she’s cared for so If you love your daughter. If you love me. Then leave.” You can’t help it. You let the tears fall down your cheeks and walk up the rest of the way.
As I get into the house, We call out for the kids. As we call them, I can see Linds’a bedroom door open a little bit. When I tell them it was just Harriet and I, I can see all three kids crash into us. Lina and Jr. rush over to Harriet. I still have Delilah with me in my arms, I try to soothe and calm her crying down a little bit.
Anytime, I would try and put her down, she would want to cling to me more. So I just let her lay with me on the couch in the living room, and wait until the cops come.
When they show up just one comes inside and asks about what happened while another stays outside with Izzy.
Harriet gave her statement, and I gave mine. There are so many thoughts running millions of miles throughout my head. I zone out while talking. The only thing I really have control over is my body, and that is clinging onto my niece for dear life and comfort.
After a while, they take Izzy into custody and tell us she’ll appear in court in the next couple of days. We said our goodbyes and lots of ‘Are you okay’ from Har, and in return said that we were fine.
While lying in bed, with Del curled up on my chest watching her body rise and fall with each steady breath she takes. Even when I try and switch positions in the bed, she clings onto me tighter than the last time. So, for now, I just watch her, not really being able to fall asleep. The only thing on my mind that keeps replaying is Deliah and her safety with me. What if Izzy comes back, and what if she does more than just complain that she wants to see Delilah? What if she really takes her?
Over the past two months, Del has been my entire world, she makes my days better when she’s here with me and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I try to bring those awful thoughts to the back of my mind. I just want to be the present, with the people I love and care about. Del, Harriet, and the kids, Calvin…
Oh shit.
Just as I was about to fall asleep when my eyes widened. I completely forgot that I snapped at Calvin earlier today, I didn’t tell him what was going on, and I didn’t get to say I was sorry for snapping on him. I just might be the biggest asshole on planet earth. I just really hope he’s not that mad at me, I honestly feel so awful about what I did to him today. Hopefully, he will be there tomorrow, so I can tell him. Maybe even tell him about what’s going on. But for right now I want to let my mind lay to rest and get a good night's sleep for a change.
Well, that sure as shit didn’t happen.
As soon as I was in the building, I made my way up to the lab as quickly as possible, making sure I could catch Calvin before he went on his run. But he wasn’t in the room when I entered. Maybe I did miss him, I’ll wait and see.
But before I could put my stuff away, I saw a little torn-out piece of paper on the lab table. I went over to see what it was.
When I saw the note I could make out Calvin’s handwriting, I dropped everything and looked at what he had written down.
‘I’m not in today. I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry.’
-Calvin
My eyes started to well up with tears, why would I snap at him like that? I feel absolutely terrible. I wish he was here to explain everything. Wanting to tell him everything that has happened. But I can’t, maybe I can catch him tomorrow, and tell him. But for now, I just sit in the lab and worry about everything that's happening in my life right now.
The next couple of days I spent in agony. Calvin never showed up once to the lab. Or even the building, to be honest, I think I really screwed this up. I think we were working on a really good friendship. Maybe even more…
“No, No Ava, snap out of this. You’re going to go over and talk? You're going to talk and that’s it.” You try and get those stupid thoughts out of your system. You don’t know why but you decided to drop everything and not go to work today.
So you decided to take a walk around the neighborhood with Poppy and Delilah. Just want to get some fresh air, and let out all of the bed energy from this week. Maybe even stop by Calvin's Hariet’s.
When you reach Harriet's house, you turn around to see if anyone is out around Calvin’s. You see all the curtains closed, no one in sight. But you did hear some commotion in the backyard. Of course, you decide to do your own investigation and go over to his place.
You walk up to his driveway and want to go knock on the door, but you see someone in the garage. You can see that it’s open. You peer in and see Calvin in his element. Apparently, he was using this type of orch to row. You try and call out to him, but he simply ignores you.
You call him one more time to get his attention. “Calvin!” you call out. Apparently, this time he listened.
“What?” he says with some force behind it. You step back a little bit trying not to get him too worked up.
“I see that you weren’t in the lab this week… And Danotti said to me they were firing people if we didn’t finish our research.” He gets up and starts wiping his face down. Wiping off the glistening sweat that rests on his forehead, you really didn’t want him to. He looked more handsome, not waiting to look away from him.
“More pressure. Perfect.” Out of nowhere, he throws the towel down to the ground. “Do you know what I’ve done ever since I won 2 years ago?” Genuinely asking in a gritty tone. I just shake my head a little. “Nothing. Nothing.” He takes a second to speak again. Seeming like he didn’t want to get too angry if I was around.
“I go into that lab every day, I shut the door because I don’t want people to see that I haven’t accomplished a damn thing.” There was a pregnant pause in the air. I wanted to speak up but he continued. “I was all out of ideas… Until I met you, Ava. And you had so many. It was like I could finally breathe again.” At that moment. I wanted to rush into his arms and never wanted to leave him.
And then, all of that fades away. “You left me with no explanation. You just– you left me.” I step forward a little bit, trying to see if he could let me in more. He didn’t say anything, so I kept moving forward. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you, Calvin. There was something that happened that day. It… it’s hard for me to talk about.” There was once again a long pause of silence, trying to see who would speak up first.
“I really miss working with you,” you say to him. “I miss that too.” You could hear some giggling coming your way. You both turn around when you see Delilah waddling over to you with Harriet right on her tail. “I’m sorry Ava, she said she really needed her aunty.” I pick her up and she drops her head right onto my shoulder. I look back to see Calvin with wide eyes. I walk towards him a little bit. I let out a chuckle and started the conversation back up again.
“I’m sorry for not introducing you sooner. Calvin this is my niece Delilah. Hey Duckie, this is Mr. Calvin. We work together.” I see her head come out of my shoulder and give a small wave. “Hi, Mr.Calvin” and give him a toothy grin. We all let out a little laugh. Giggling with the little girls' antics she always has.
“Maybe you can come over later. We can talk more there.” “O-okay, where do you live?” Asking me, I completely forgot to tell him that I lived in the neighborhood. “I actually live a couple of doors down. I realized when I dropped you off after the pageant.” I tell him. He again has wide-set eyes, looking at me like I just moved here from Mars. He doesn’t say anything, “I’ll see you later Calvin.” You turn and walk away when Del wants to be out of your hold. You let her go, thinking she wants to walk by herself, but she waddles her way over to Calvin and wraps her whole body around his leg. “Goodbye, Mr. Calvin!” she lets go and waddles her way back to you. You both leave with smiles on your face when you leave Calvin’s house.
To be honest, you don’t know how you can keep things professional between the two of you. You also don’t know how Delilah just met him, and she adores him. For some reason, you both don’t want to let go.
Let’s see what happens.
Reblogs are always welcome. Unless you're under 18. I will block you. and comment if you want to be added to the taglist. If I forgot anybody message me and let me know. You will be added.
Taglist: @petersunderoos96 @mrspedropascal5683 @callsign-magnolia @angelbabyyy99
dividers are by @saradika
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Bet gone wrong
Pairing: Jungkook x oc
Summary: you regret placing a bet on a math question with your boyfriend, not knowing how much of a math genius he was.
Warnings: oc cries, but jungkook is soo soft with her after that, apologetic gguk, happy ending 😊
Word count: 1.2k
Your boyfriend was an avid fan of horror movies and thriller shows, you on the contrary, were beyond terrified of anything related to the dark and horror. Every time the two of you had movie nights, you would beg Jungkook not to watch another one of his jumpscare, horrifying, absolutely petrifying, made-you-almost-cry shows that he had a strong passion for. However, tonight was different…
“Come on! Kook please!” you plead to your stubborn boyfriend who did not want to hear your cries. “But baby, the bet was that the winner gets anything they want, it’s only fair!” your boyfriend argues back, as he turns on the TV and switches to his Netflix account. You groan into his shirt as you continue to ramble on about changing to another genre, one that is not so…. life threatening…
Normally, putting bets on random things was a very common practice between you and Jungkook, it simply made normal mundane things more fun for the both of you. However, this bet in particular made you regret bringing it up that afternoon…
“Kook! Wanna bet?” you run up to your boyfriend as he was busy squinting through his reading glasses, typing out something on his laptop. Jungkook peared from the laptop at you, cocking his eyebrow in question. “I bet that you won’t be able to solve this maths question my professor gave me today, he said it was many grades above our level, and so far I have not made any progress besides three equations!” Having said that, you push the piece of paper over to your boyfriend whose attention is now diverted to the long maths question that took up half of your A4 paper. As he scans the question, he looks back at you for a second and says, “First, what’s the reward?” Oh poor you, here's where you went absolutely wrong, “Anything. I’ll do anything you want.”
To your horror, you watch as Jungkook skims through the question with ease, scribbling down god knows how many numbers and finishing the question in less than five minutes. Your mouth gapes as you see the answer written down, “135”, and as you recall, the answer was indeed 135. How did your boyfriend just solve the question you’ve been spending all day attempting, in under five minutes? You have no clue, but also have no time to think about that before Jungkook cockily says, “My reward is that you have to watch the latest horror show with me”
A wide grin spreads onto your boyfriend's face as you begin to whine in desperation. No way were you going to watch another horror movie after the last time Jungkook had to follow you everywhere you went because you were so scared to death from that stupid clown show he had made you watch, saying it was not scary at all. Jungkook was a big fat liar.
“Babe! Please I’ll do anything else please please ....” You continue to whine and tug at his shirt as he just ruffles your hair in an attempt to soothe you. Obviously that would not work when your mind was going crazy on thinking about the number of jumpscares you were going to face in this so called “enjoyable” show, as said by your boyfriend. “Come on! Trust me this is not as bad as ‘It’! Plus, you have a strong muscular boyfriend to protect you!” Jungkook tries to reason, as he clicks play on the video.
After a few minutes, you peak out from your boyfriend's chest, watching a little of the show here and there. It’s actually not so bad. You thought. Or so you thought. Because as the girl was walking through the abandoned house, a huge gnarly monster jumped out from a dark corner, causing your heart to drop, and a high-pitched scream to erupt from the depths of your throat. Upon seeing your reaction, Jungkook laughs quietly at his girlfriend, not thinking much about it. However, you buried your head in his chest, attempting to make yourself forget about the jumpscare.
You aren’t sure if it's the stress from college, or the fact that you barely got any sleep the previous night, or if you just were not prepared for this and got absolutely scared to your wits from the jumpscare, but without warning, you feel tears threatening to fall from your eyes, as you hide your face in Jungkook’s chest.
Your boyfriend doesn’t think much about it, only rubbing your back, offering some comfort before going back to watch the horrifying show. Not until he feels his t-shirt slowly getting wet, and feeling warm stains run through his shirt, causing some parts to stick to his skin. Immediately he pauses the show, and the silence fills the air, until he hears small sniffles and hiccups coming from you, slightly trembling in his grasp.
“Oh my goodness, baby, baby, are you okay?” Jungkook softly says with worry in his voice. “Baby I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry” He rambles out as he tries to search for your face. However, you begin to realise that breathing has now become a struggle for you as your breaths increase in speed and your mind fills up with anxiety and fear to the point you could not think straight. “Oh shit, oh shit baby nonono” you hear your boyfriend now frantically saying. “It’s okay, just breathe for me yeah? Shh it’s okay slow and steady breaths okay?” He says as his hand begins tracing circles into your back.
Your sobs slowly die down to sniffles and hiccups as you finally remove your face from your boyfriend’s chest. Jungkook holds your chin as he searches your face with worried eyes. He pecks your forehead, then your nose, and says, “Baby I’m so so sorry it was my mistake I shouldn’t have forced you if you were really uncomfortable I’m so sorry my baby” He rambles on and on. By now, you’re feeling much better and so you chuckle a bit at how caring and concerned your boyfriend was being.
“It’s okay koo, I’m fine now.” you say as you lean into Jungkooks face, connecting your lips and giving him a short kiss. Upon hearing your words, Jungkook sighs in relief and kisses your temple in apology. He switches the show on Netflix to the recent kdrama you two had been watching, 2521. You smile and whisper a “love you so much” in his ear as you snuggle closer to your boyfriend. Sensing that Jungkook still had some regret and sorrow for making you so worked up, you card your fingers through his hair, pecking his lips and staring lovingly into his eyes.
The two of you spent the rest of the night binge-watching the series and you did not feel scared at all with Jungkook holding you in his arms the whole time.
note: helloooo another one shot! i am soo bored so im uploading so much! i just write and post write and post HAHHAA but its so fun!
#bts jungkook#jungkook smut#boyfriend jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook ff#jungkook x oc#jungkook#jungkook comfort#bts ff#bts#bts fic#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader
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hello! can i ask for a soft fluffy sappy jeno drabble with him showing his tears and laying himself bare in front of oc ... i cannot stop thinking about him trying not to cry during tds2 it hits different seeing him like that :( i wanna hug him fr
a/n: a week later but yeah... i agree, the ending speech of tds2 broke my heart. probably more angsty than fluffy but this is all i could come up with, i hope you like it anyway!!
“You know you can let go sometimes, right?” You say, chin resting against your boyfriend’s head as you caress his hair while he lays against you.
“I know but…” Jeno sighs, voice shaking before he presses his lips in a thin line and pulls away from you, sitting straight on the bed.
You wait in silence, sitting against the headboard for a while, thinking he needs time to put the words together, but when you hear a low sniffle you quirk a brow and sit next to him.
“Nono?” You ask, turning his face toward you, surprised to see him like this. “Are you crying?”
“It’s just… it’s just that sometimes it gets so hard,” he whispers, sniffling, drifting his eyes from yours. “So fucking hard.”
You don’t speak, you know how hard it is for him to let out his emotions, and right now, words are not what he needs. So you wrap your arms around him and you let him fall in your warm embrace.
“I’m fine, but do you ever feel like some days you carry all the weight of the world on your shoulders? That no matter what you do is never enough? That… you can’t support the people you love how you’d like to?”
You sigh, your heart breaks because you can hear in his voice that he’s holding back his tears to the point that he’s almost choking on his words.
“But you don’t,” you whisper, starting to caress his back, feeling even more how hard he’s shaking. “You don’t carry that weight of the world on your shoulders. And you have no idea how much people rely on you because they trust you and feel comfortable around you.”
When he doesn’t answer and only shakes his head, you sigh. “You know it’s fine to don’t be so hard on yourself, right? You can cry. You can break your walls down. You can be vulnerable, and, I know that it’s not easy to be vulnerable around everybody but at least with me, please, trust me.”
After hearing that, Jeno breaks down, he starts sobbing loudly and hides in the crook of your neck, holding you tight, seeking more comfort.
You stay like this for a while, none of the two saying anything. And you get that he wants to talk, finally open up and say some of the things he’s been bottling up, but now, he needs another type of reassurance.
“I’m proud of you,” you whisper, starting to rock his shaking body back and forth. “So, so proud of the person that you are and all the things that you do. And all your friends and family think the same. I’m not saying it can’t get hard, but you’re not alone. You are never alone.”
He lifts his head up and looks at you, cheeks streaked with tears but eyes filled with love. And you know that no matter how headstrong he is, he will always listen to your words and believe in them.
“I’m so lucky to have you.” It’s the only thing he says before a smile, the first in hours, appears on his face and makes your lips turn into a tender smirk too.
“And I’m lucky to have you.”
“Can – can we cuddle? Just stay here and I... I’ll talk to you. I mean, I think that it will be just a senseless rant about so many things, but I trust you, and I need your comfort.”
“Of course, we can, babe,” you reply, opening your arms to let him cuddle between them. “You don’t even have to ask.”
So he lays back and starts ranting while you caress his skin, it’s a wild ride as the both of you cry and laugh and smile, but you’re just glad that he’s opening up and letting you see his true self. And after more than an hour, you know he feels better when he proposes to make tea and spent the night together playing board games.
“Thank you,” he whispers when you’re back in bed, he’s once again in your arms and even if you’re not used to being the big spoon, you have to say you love it a lot.
And you don't have to ask him for what, you know why he’s thanking you, you know how hard it is for him to seek comfort and be vulnerable and you can only be happy he trusts you enough to open up.
“You don’t have to thank me,” you reply, kissing his cheek.
“Trust me, I do. I’ve never felt safer with anybody else.”
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For Yara&Ace:
🦋
💔
Here you go!! tysm for the ask and hope you enjoy!! <3
OC x canon ask game
🦋 How long did it take them to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?
I don’t think Ace went through the awkward stage at all lmao as soon as Yara gave him the go-ahead, he was all over her, wanting to constantly be touching her and giving her kisses and being very vocal about his affections. He was thrilled to not have to hold back the depth of his feelings for her anymore. It takes Yara a lot longer to become comfortable with PDA, or to even acknowledge the fact that Ace is her boyfriend now, of all things. She does worry that she’s not affectionate enough and that Ace will eventually get sick of her being what she fears is too cold and distant, but he assures her that he loves her just the way she is, and that he does actually appreciate her not being super clingy. Yara is very much an acts of service type person; she shows Ace she loves him by helping him repair the striker and waiting patiently with a napkin for him to wake up after he has one of his narcoleptic episodes in the middle of a meal (my personal headcanon as to why he wiped his face off with that one lady's skirt in Alabasta was because he was so used to Yara holding a cloth out for him that he just saw something vaguely cloth-shaped in front of him and instinct kicked in lmao). The confidence piece for her comes in when they settle into a rhythm that assures her that she is enough and Ace’s affections towards her never wane, despite her not being as outgoing or friendly or easy to get along with as he is. (She’s such a Dracule it’s not even funny. Literally Mihawk Jr. Antisocial-ass genes.)
💔 Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?
Maybe an unpopular fandom opinion here but I personally don’t see Ace being a womanizer. An unintentional heartbreaker, yes, because he’s just so sweet and lovable (and gorgeous) that he probably makes women (and men, and nonbinary folk) swoon over him without even meaning to. That being said, I really don’t think he has much experience at all prior to Yara. Maybe a kiss or a makeout here or there, but considering how fast he travelled through the Grand Line, I don’t see him having partaken in any major relationships-- in the second Ace novel, he laments over not being able to visit the mermaid cafe on Fish-Man Island because he was too busy stuffing his face and then falling asleep in his food and being a dine-and-dash menace at a local restaurant. The main thing on his mind is trying to make himself more (in)famous than his father by beating the Four Emperors. So the way I’ve interpreted things in my personal version of canon, Ace doesn’t have any past partners.
Yara actually sort of has some experience-- or at least more than Ace. She had a summer fling with a mermaid when she was about fifteen, and while it never went further than a kiss, it was her first experience with romantic feelings and the sorrow that came with parting ways, knowing that they couldn’t actually stay together. The relationship and its inevitable end didn’t really impact her too much in the long run because it was very brief, but Yara at least learned a bit about what dating is like. She doesn’t really have much interest in it again until she begins to develop feelings for Ace, but the circumstances feel so different from her sort-of ex-girlfriend that she doesn’t feel the need to draw on the past much, other than to remember what she learned about how to kiss good lol
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gabriel's tattoos <3
first things first, here's gabe!
tom hardy is his faceclaim :3
if you don't know who gabriel is, he's my cm oc! his full name is gabriel henderson and he used to be a firefighter before moving to the fbi and later joining the bau :) he's a love interest of aaron hotchner and he specialises in arson related crimes in the field.
and he has quite a few tattoos! i haven't thought all of them through yet, but here's the main ones!
hand tattoos:
i think he'd have a few hand tattoos. probably a few nonsensical ones but it'd be aesthetically pleasing. maybe even a word across his knuckles - maybe the word "flame" but i'm not sure. it'd probably be a tattoo he regrets or thinks is kinda cringey lol but he'd have gotten it when he was like first becoming a firefighter in his late teens/early twenties!
but he'd have something like these! the second one specifically, but it'd be the number of his old firestation. i haven't picked the number yet, but i'm thinking station 17 or station 29. i'm leaning more toward 17.
torso tattoos:
ignore that these are on people's arms lol. i can picture something like this so vividly on his chest, right under left pec. it'd be much smaller and less detailed than these, but it'd be a sword with a snake coiled around it. at first i was thinking it'd be a cross with a snake but i don't see him as the religious type so i doubt he'd get a cross.
he'd have this on his lower stomach, i think. either right in the middle or slightly to his right side. no, it's not when he was born lol. it's the year his boyfriend passed away (as of right now anyway, the date n year might change) so he wanted to get something related to that. i don't think he'd get someone's name but he likes the look of a year tattoo and it can have many meanings. the leaves add a nice touch to it as well.
back tattoos:
he'd have one on his upper spine/shoulder blades, but i can't decide between a bird/eagle or wings on their own. it could be a phoenix too, i think it'd make a lot of sense, but i couldn't find a design i liked that i think he'd have. it'd definitely be something to do with wings tho!
arm tattoos:
he'd have a full sleeve, maybe a colourful one. i'm just not sure entirely of what. i feel like it'd just be random stuff but it'd have a traditional look.
something like these!
and that's all i have so far <3 i'll probably come back to this at a later date if i have more ideas or wanna switch something up, but these are the main ones!
#he just has tattoo vibes okay#tbh i could just use tom hardy's tattoos as gabe's lol#but this is more fun#casper's ocs: gabriel henderson
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