faironeforest - Tumblr blog

faironeforest · 15 days

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This is what my Dad is like. When I started asking questions about the world, he would thoughtfully explain things if he knew the answer. If he didn’t, he would look it up with me when he had the time (he was trying to teach me the value of patience, poor thing).

Once I was able to read on my own, he would tell me to look it up myself. We had the Encarta encyclopedia on CD, so I could easily load up the home computer and look things up.

As an adult, I really appreciate this. He didn’t discourage my curiosity, he actively fed it. Both my parents did.

The first video games I played were learning or educational games on the PC. The Carmen Sandiegio series. Treasure Mountain. Oregon Trail. The trivia castle game on the Encarta CD (MindMaze). The Secret Island of Dr. Quandry. Challenge of the Ancient Empires. SimCity.

My parents bought me the world and US Almanacs for Christmas one year, when I was in elementary school. I was ecstatic.

I learned sex ed reading the medical encyclopedia.

If I had follow up questions, my parents were happy to help.

The downside to all this was that I was able to feed into my niche interests, a lot of which were considered strange and bizarre by my peers, and a lot of the adults around me. Including my mom.

But my dad never stopped supporting my curiosity. And growing up in that kind of environment was so empowering. It was crucial to my love of learning, especially when faced with the confines of the American public school system.

It wasn’t even that hard for my parents to do. They just had to see and treat me like a whole person. Encourage me.

The fact that more parents and adults don’t do this is very upsetting to me. It’s literally the least you can do for kids.

nothing frustrates me more than when adults refuse to even slightly indulge the questions and thoughts of children. i remember one time when one of my younger cousins accidentally stumbled across the concept of purchasing power parity because she realised 10 rupees which bought her 10 candies in India only bought her ~3 candies when we went on holiday to Japan, and when she asked her mother about “why the same things cost different amounts in different places” my aunt had the audacity to call her spoiled for not understanding the “”worth” of money, that’s not what she was ASKING damn it!! your daughter just set up her own big mac index and realised a key metric of macroeconomics!!! how do you not find that utterly fascinating !! why don’t adults talk to children !!

#writing #story time #education #childhood #child rearing #90s nostalgia #educational games #parenting is difficult #but encouraging your kids is so easy to do #it’s also a great excuse to get your kid to go off and entertain themselves

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faironeforest · 27 days

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I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and it’s like.

have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because that’s what a growl is.

Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because that’s what a hiss is.

Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because that’s what a roar is.

Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because that’s what snarling is.

It’s not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.

#writing problems #writing things #writer problems #writer things #writing rant #writer rant #tumblr writing community #tumblr writers #writeblr #writing community #creativity #writing #don’t take things so literally

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faironeforest · 27 days

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WOULD THAT I COULD!

Sorry I’m too busy making sure my bank account doesn’t stay in the negatives, and that all my bills are paid on time, and that my physical health and mental health are in a place where I can actually earn enough money to actually start to recover from this nightmare. Sorry I can’t make heartfelt art, or even partake in hobbies I enjoy, because I’m too focused on trying to stay alive and functioning at a low enough threshold that I don’t make my physical and mental health worse.

But thanks for making me feel super bad about not creating anything that brings me joy and fulfillment. Thanks for making me feel like an absolute failure because I can’t CrEaTe anything HeArTfElT. Really appreciate that.

You’re doing a great job, OP! Excellent pep talk!

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

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faironeforest · 1 month

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i finished reading your story and i must say that, while it's alright, there's so many plot holes because the characters made irrational decisions and didn't think logically 100% of the time. consider fixing this next time please

#sarcasm #writing #writing life #writing problems #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #humor #truth #media literacy is a dying art #maybe just shut up

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faironeforest · 1 month

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“‘What if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die. So maybe, who cares? Maybe, fuck those people.”

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too.

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

#taylor tomlinson #comedy #stand up comedy #medication #medication analogy #mental health #mental illness #suicide #suicide ideation #do whatever you need to do to keep you here #it’s hard #and it’s every day #and you are stronger than you give yourself credit for #here are your arm floaties #Youtube

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faironeforest · 1 month

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I grew up in the Lutheran church. Which is not really known for conservative politics. But it’s there. It’s always been there.

I left the church when I was 15 because I couldn’t handle the dissonance between what the pastor preached on Sundays, the behaviors Wednesday Bible study encouraged, with what I was watching the members of my church doing the rest of the week. They would all nod their heads, and agree Yes, it’s good to treat people the way you would want to be treated. Yes, we should be like Jesus and turn the other cheek. Forgive those who trespass against us.

Their actions spoke louder than their words. And I couldn’t be a part of it any more.

And no matter where I went, which churches I attended, the same thing kept happening. Over and over again. I realized it wasn’t a one-off incident, an outlier. It was deeply ingrained into the entire culture. No one was listening to the message. No one internalized Christ’s teachings.

I lost my faith in Christians long before I lost my faith in God.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.

then they started fighting Covid precautions.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.

now my parents think climate change is a myth.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.

then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.

now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.

you can guess who they voted for.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.

when did they forget?

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faironeforest · 1 month

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#writing #writing life #writing problems #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #humor #truth #media literacy is a dying art

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faironeforest · 1 month

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I’m an elder millennial. 9/11 happened the day before my sixteenth birthday. I was a sophomore in high school. I vocally called out the passing of the Patriot Act. I vocally criticized the War on Terror. My peers, and most of the adults around me, said I was being dramatic. That losing a bit of civil liberties was worth it, in the end, if it allowed us to keep the country (and by extension the rest of the world) Safe™️.

In 2015, I was openly critical of Donald Trump and the GOP. My friends and I watched CNN on election night, hopeful that the Republicans would fail to win the White House. Then had to return to work on Wednesday, completely devastated.

Again and again, I was told (by family, by coworkers, by my goddamned therapist) that I was being dramatic. That I was being fatalistic.

And as my civil liberties were eroded away, bit by bit, to keep the country Safe™️, I kept thinking about all the times, from age 16 until the present, that I was disregarded. That the fears and anxieties of my peers were disregarded, again and again.

I saw this coming 23 years ago.

And no, that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking.

#twitter #womens rights #abortion #reproductive rights #writing #story time #9/11 #patriot act #gop #republicans #vote #please vote #go vote #I will not be complicit in my own destruction #and you shouldn’t either

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faironeforest · 1 month

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woop there it is

#writeblr #publishing #writing #writing life #writing problems #writers on tumblr #writers #yes please thank you

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faironeforest · 1 month

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My first cat, Arya, was a dick.

My wife and I still worked for PD. She went on a loose animal call. Fifteen minutes later, she calls me.

“You want a cat?”

Two weeks later, I had a full hysterectomy. I was on sick leave for four weeks while I healed enough to return to work. Four weeks relegated to the couch or the bedroom for large portions of the day.

Arya was a feisty kitten and liked to run around. She loved strings and feathers. But she spent many hours each day curled up on my abdomen (with a blanket in between us).

As she grew, I was the only person Arya seemed to respect. She was feisty and rude to me, as well, but she always made sure to slide against my legs or boop her head against my leg.

She got out one night, and we never saw her again. It wasn’t the first time she had gotten out. We live next to a mountain preserve. Coyotes are a common sight.

I loved her.

And I know she loved as much as she was capable.

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

#cats #surgery #love #loyalty #writing #story time #high posts #we got her on may 4 #I wanted to name her leia

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faironeforest · 1 month

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Lost Souls was my favorite novel from Freshman year of high school to well into my twenties. It’s still in my Top 10 favorite books.

I borrowed my Dad’s copy, a somewhat worn mass market paperback. I proceeded to reread it so many times over the following months and years that the front cover fell off. I bought my father a new edition. I then duct taped the cover back on the old edition, which I then covered in stickers because the duct tape made me sad.

My Dad was the one who first suggested Lost Souls to me. He was also the one who turned me on to Anita Blake and adult horror.

My mother hated it. She always had.

But after the divorce? I wonder if it bothered her to see her only child follow in the footsteps of the man who had disappointed her for so many years? I wonder if she weren’t taking it out on me, however unconscious?

I wonder if it still bothers her, after all these years?

As your Goth Auntie is apparently in the grips of Goth Nostalgia ...

Three books that were good examples of the mood of 90s goth:

Actually written in the 90s: Lost Souls by Poppy Z. Brite. Content warning: if you're someone who is uncomfortable with taboo themes in fiction, give this a pass.

Not written in the 90s, but set then and captures the mood: In the Blood by Miranda Luna. It certainly has writing flaws, but definitely hits the Goth Nostalgia button for me.

Also not written in the 90s, but damn, all of us wanted the goth club in this book to exist. Gothique by Kyle Marffin. The writing is clunky in places (and has one plotline too many, IMO), but it's still a nostalgia rush.

All three of them are, yes, vampire novels, and I would put content warnings on all three for people who want to avoid taboo themes or unhealthy relationships. (If you are one of those folks, I suggest avoiding vampire fiction altogether, but that's a different discussion.)

#goth books #vampire books #90s goth #writing #story time #downer story #parents #my dad and I get along well #mutual respect goes a long way #high posts

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faironeforest · 2 months

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#writing #writing memes #writers #writers on tumblr #writing humor #writing life #writing problems #writeblr #truth #humor #I always love this meme #but I don’t appreciate getting called out like this

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faironeforest · 6 months

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I did another thing. I hope you like it.

#writing #fan fiction #our flag means death #ofmd #edward teach #stede bonnet #ed x stede #horny posting #plot what plot #further tags on work itself

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faironeforest · 6 months

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I wrote a thing last year. Now it's up and you can read it.

#writing #writers on tumblr #fan fiction #a03 #a03 fanfic #archive of our own #short story #hob gadling #dream #hob x dream #no spoilers #warnings on the fic #the sandman

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faironeforest · 6 months

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#writing life #writing #writing problems #writeblr #you’re improving #just keep moving forward #you’re gonna go far kid

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faironeforest · 11 months

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i am writing all the time except just like inside of me and not outside

#called out #writing life #writing #writing problems #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #truth #humor

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faironeforest · 1 year

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This is how I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I was being treated by a counselor off and on for depression. No meds, just talking. I hated it. So whenever my depression would “go away” (see: entering a manic episode), I would stop seeing them because I was “better.”

The thing is, I was having auditory and visual hallucinations during manic episodes. It was terrifying, but I didn’t know how to explain what was happening to me. I knew I was “crazy,” but I didn’t know how. And I didn’t tell my parents because the hallucinations would stop when the manic episode ended, and I figured it was a side effect of staying up for a couple of days in a row. Then the depression would start and I would be “back to normal.” Back to the therapists.

It wasn’t until my mom essentially caught me having a bad hallucinating moment at two in the morning that she called a psychiatrist.

21 years later, here we are.

there is a very real tendency of teenagers with anxiety disorders self diagnosing with considerably more stigmatized and impairing mental illnesses (e.g. schizophrenia, DID, personality disorders), but the best response to that isn't to get angry with them for "appropriating" lol. instead you show them coping resources for the problems they're actually having and deemphasize diagnostic categories in general. if an 18 year old is claiming to have alzheimer's, they're probably making an innocent mistake and are in genuine distress. be kind.

#mental health tag #mental health #story time #bipolar disorder #hallucinations #high school story #high school was awful for a number of reasons

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