☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆

「 ✦ din djarin ✦ 」

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all din djarin stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

┌──────────────────┐

MASTERLIST ✨PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS ✨4/28/24

★ @softlyspector

☼ significant pt2

☾ Din has been calling you riduur for months. You finally find out what it means, and get a little more than you bargained for.

☼ request

★ @theidiotwhowritesthings

☼ common mistake

☼ in a perfect world, you love me pt2

☾ On the way to visit an old friend, you and Mando find trouble. Both of you are subjected to a drug that puts you in your perfect world. But, when you can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t, how do you know what to trust?

★ @rosepascal

☼ bucket of bolts

☾ The dad and the dog he didn't want but its Din Djarin and a BD unit.

★ @sinsofsummers

☼ push and pull

☾ after convincing him to help you hide from the guild, you teach mando how to enjoy himself. this is the way.

★ @archieimagines

☼ touching din

☾ The three times that Din bends his own rules and engages in physical touch. 

★ @absurdthirst

☼ secrets

☾ Reader gets drunk and mouthy. Mando wrestles with his own sense of sexuality and wonders if he can fulfill the desires of his crew member.

★ @bits-and-babs

☼ pure beskar

★ @januaryembrs

☼ kiss the scars

☾ You and Mando are forced to remove your helmets to save the child. But to you, it means more than breaking your creed. To you, it means revealing the thing you're most insecure about.

★ @the-archxr

☼ kar’taylir

☾ the four times Din Djarin almost says it, and the one time he does. alternatively, the four times you almost say it, and the one time you do.

★ @thefrogdalorian

☼ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

☾ When you and your Mandalorian companion are ambushed by a group of bandits, you hope that his stubborn nature will not make the task of treating his wounds any more difficult than it needs to be. But that is not the only obstacle. You also hope that the depth of your unrequited feelings for Din will not impact on your ability to care for him...

★ @groguspicklejar

☼ pretty picture

☾ Din would do anything to keep any outside threat from touching his clan.

★ @multifandombitxh

☼ keep it down

★ @wheresarizona

☼ creed

☾ Upon meeting Bo-Katan Kryze and discovering there are other Mandalorians out in the galaxy who remove their helmets, Din Djarin is suddenly questioning his beliefs and unable to stop from wondering what you, his wife, look like under your own helm.

★ @peterparkersnose

☼ i need you more than i wanted to

☾ Y/N overhears a damaging conversation between Din and Greef Karga

★ @bluebeary-jay

☼ face to face

☾ as riduurs, you and Din can finally show your faces to each other without suffering any consequences. but when the time finally comes, your insecurities and fears of rejection come into play, threatening to ruin this important moment.

★ @dindjarindiaries

☼ united we fall

☾ Din’s unable to control the Darksaber and accidentally hurts you with it, leaving behind a deep scar on your body and his mind.

★ @writerlyhabits

☼ courting

☼ request

☾ Din’s partner figures out they’re pregnant, and is terrified. They aren’t married, this is the worst time possible, Din already has so much responsibility on his shoulders. But they have to tell him. Because Din deserves to know. She’s terrified of what his reaction might be, if he’d be angry, or excited, or dismissive, etc.

☼ shine and polish

☾ "Din catches you cleaning/polishing his armor for him (something usually only done between courting Mandos) and gets all shy explaining the implications to you

★ @flowersforjude

☼ lost in translation

☾ A night in a beautiful meadow and an innocent question leads to a startling confession.

★ @backtothefanfiction

☼ not that easy

☾ When Din realised he was starting to have feelings for you, he got scared. Snuck away before sunrise and left you stranded on Nevarro. When you catch up to him on Tatooine, you have a few choice words for him.

★ @beskarandblasters

☼ caught in 4k

☾ You catch Din watching porn and discover his secret; his breeding kink.

★ @noisynaia

☼ the sweetest melody

★ @pedrito-friskito

☼ uncharted territory

★ @saradika

☼ beneath the mask

☾ when a mysterious stranger wins your hand at the tournament, you can't help but wonder about his intentions

★ @tremendum

☼ where to start

☾ Din lets out a shaky sigh, finally turning around in the chair to face you, legs spread slightly, “it’s not like- I don’t not want to- I just haven’t-I don’t know where to start." 

hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3

one thing I like about tazmuir as an author is that at any given time she will be like "here is a character," and I will think "that's nice, but I don't care. please return me to my beautiful Gideon" and then she'll be like "no. look at this other character under a microscope. they are so fucked up and full of love in such specific ways. probably they are bad at sex also." and I make a shocked face and welcome them into the pantheon in my heart, still waiting to hear from my beautiful gideon, at which point tazmuir will show me another character. and then.

STAR WARS - 2023 FIC RECS

this year has been filled with so many beautiful fics, I wanted to make a rec list to share & support everything I read. please check these out and support these creators, they are all incredible! 💖✨

ANAKIN/VADER X F!READER

— Breathe Me In by @moonlight-prose

the jedi fell and darth vader rose to power, but there’s a secret he hides even from his own master.

— When Midnight Calls by @ladyxskywalker

anakin steps into the refresher, noticing how you left the door open for him, the steam filling the room inside from the misty hot water.

AXE WOVES X F!READER

— The Lady and the Merc by @flightlessangelwings

“The pleasure,” the leader took your hand, but instead of shaking it, he brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it tenderly, “Is all mine,” he gave you a wink as you felt your skin burn under his touch, “And call me Axe Woves.”

BRASSO X F!READER

— Steadfast by @uwingdispatch

He pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead before pulling back to look at you in that way only he could, with those bright eyes. “I think we should stay,” he said.

BOBA FETT X F!READER

— Be With Me by @imarvelatthestars

"It's late," he says.

— Boba Fett is in Love With You by @janghoefett

He’s known for some time now.

— Ex Libris by @daimyosprincess

There's much to be learned from the handsome professor Boba Fett, both about yourself and your pleasure.

— Kinktober Day Five: Virginity by @sinfulsalutations

You’ve never felt this small before.

— No Mercy by @daimyosprincess

Fennec Shand is many things, markswoman, assassin, the daimyo’s right hand, but merciful is not one of them. That's why she's the only one Boba Fett trusts to take care of you when he's away.

— Sound Asleep by @moodymisty

You swore you hadn’t had a nightmare since your childhood years; But even then, you couldn’t remember one like this.

— Small Favors by @daimyosprincess

The day Boba Fett called you a hellion, you were pretty certain it altered your brain chemistry.

— The App by @maybege

The App tells you who your perfect match is. But when Josh, your perfect-match-alpha, introduces you to his boss, you start to realise that the numbers are not always right.

DARTH MAUL X F!READER

— Dread by @bits-and-babs

a strange creature visits your dreams, promising to satiate a yearning body he heard call to him across the force. |  incubus!maul

— Serenity by @eloquentmoon

lord maul interrupts your nighttime stroll in the woods

ELIA KANE X F!READER

— Eat Your Young by @imarvelatthestars

It's the way she looks at you that does you in, the blatant hunger that glints in Elia's eyes, the knowledge that she always has you just within reach and that you'll always fall for her time and again. 

GALEN ERSO X READER

— I Didn't Know The Time by @ladyxskywalker

an unseasonable rain causes an unexpected shift in your new year’s plans, but, as it turns out, both of you wouldn’t have it any other way

GRAND ADMIRAL THRAWN X F!READER

— Amuse Bouche by @bits-and-babs

A state dinner leaves the Grand Admiral wanting far more than was offered.

— Show of Good Faith by @bits-and-babs

grand admiral thrawn has a unconventional way of convincing neighbouring planets to pledge allegiance to the empire.

KINO LOY X F!READER

— I Want You to Show Me Weak by @tarabyte3

You're pretty sure Kino Loy hates you. He screams at you, grabs you, and shoves you against the wall, and it's becoming a problem because, well...it shouldn't fluster you as much as it does.

— Ownership of Mine by @amywritesthings

The Empire has integrated their prison systems, with you as one of the few women now incarcerated at Narkina 5. The unit manager takes you under his wing – but for reasons you didn’t anticipate.

OBI-WAN X F!READER

— Dust to Dust by @avarkriss

A generous gift bestowed upon a very pretty desert hermit

—Kinktober Day 5: Table Sex by @flightlessangelwings

“You wished to see me, Lord Kenobi?” you asked from the doorway to his office where you stood at attention.

— Serve My Worries Away by @friskynotebook

In which Obi-Wan gets in a fight with a printer and the printer wins.

— Sweetend Craving by @moonlight-prose

“he’d want the last thing he ever heard to be the sound of you tipping over the edge, falling into a bliss you both craved.”

— What’s The Harm? by @obixwan

Quinlan set Obi-Wan up with a friend and now, Obi-Wan can’t help himself.

POE DAMERON X GN!READER

— Because You Left by @againstacecilia

“What happened? With us?” / “We just… Grew apart. That’s all.” / “No, I don’t think that’s it. Not entirely.”

THE CLONES X F!READER

— Better Than The Universe by @sinfulsalutations

Rex enjoys the mindlessly affection-filled morning he deserves

— Kinktober Day 15 by @samspenandsword

Overstimulation with Daddy Rebels!Rex

— Keep In The Heat by @sinfulsalutations

Wrecker is cold. His girl knows a solution

— Return To Sender by @keravnos-kori

halla has been alone for the past three years. as it turns out, relocating to coruscant and attending a prestigious university hasn’t been as glamorous as she originally expected - but when a new opportunity comes along for her to prove the republic’s injustices committed against clone troopers, she might get more than she bargained for when the power structure suddenly collapses and is replaced by something far more sinister…

— Strategies in Fliration by @floral-force

When you take a risk and join your friends for a night out, a handsome stranger sets his eyes on you. You boldly approach him and ask him what war tactics he has in his arsenal. | captain rex

— Sweet Thing by @starrylothcat

Wrecker has a crush on you, a local sweet shop owner. Will he find the courage to ask you out? 

— Some Rex and Relaxation by @daimyosprincess

After a hard week, Rex makes it his mission to see that you forget all about it.

— The Coffee Shop by @samspenandsword

You own a coffee house on Coruscant famed for its especially strong and rare brews. One day, you find yourself meeting the Marshal Commander for the Coruscant Guard.

if you haven’t read these, you need to! and please support these amazing fics & writers by reading, reblogging & commenting! 💕

trust me - chapter two

series masterlist

pairing: stucky x curvy!reader (dark!steve/soft!dark steve and bucky/soft!dark bucky)

warnings: not really any for this chapter but this series is dark so again, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. some mentions of paranoia, anxiety, and a previous attack reader experienced. +18 ONLY. (if i’m missing something important pls let me know!)

words: 1.5k

notes: a whole year later, here’s chapter two. i’m so unsure i’ll ever finish this series but i figured, might as well share what i have. this isn’t edited so sorry for any errors!

You slept through dinner time, thoroughly worn out thanks to Bucky who was sleeping right alongside you on the couch, both of you naked as could be. You only woke up when you were suddenly jolted by something, someone.

Steve had arrived at the cabin, unsurprised to find you and Bucky still laying on the couch. He admired your form as you were pressed into Bucky, his arms wrapped around you, unintentionally protecting your decency. A lick of jealousy hit him once again. He scowled at his friend and kicked the back of the couch. Hard.

You startled against Bucky with a gasp as the force of Steve’s kick shoved the couch and would’ve had you rolling off of it if not for Bucky tightening his hold on you instinctively. Looking up, you were met with the dark, piercing blue eyes of Steve. You yelped in surprise, pulling Bucky’s body on top of yours completely to hide beneath him. He sleepily obliged, raising up on a forearm so as not to smoosh you. He turned to face Steve, looking annoyed himself. Steve was supposed to give him a heads up when he landed. He knew you were on even more of a hair trigger lately, not to mention how much you cared for your privacy, and how you were about anyone seeing you in any kind of state you considered vulnerable. It took months before you finally felt close enough with Bucky to show him any kind of vulnerability and he took that seriously. He knew Steve was getting impatient but the last thing he wanted to do was rush you. And he never would have let Steve just walk in on you naked like this. It was bad enough he went ahead with this rushed plan of his before even talking to Bucky about it, sending you out here on your own and only then telling him about it, and now he’s already made you uncomfortable within mere minutes of getting here.

“What happened to calling?” Bucky gruffed.

“I did. You didn’t answer,” he responded. “Either of you.” Steve’s eyes cut to you again as he spoke sharply.

“Alright, well, you wanna give us a minute to get dressed, pal?” Bucky said, just as harsh.

Steve rolled his eyes before he began to walk back out of the room. “Hurry up,” he barked as you watched his retreat.

“Okay, something is seriously up,” you spoke quietly as Bucky let you up off the couch to redress. “He’s obviously pissed off about something..”

“Don’t stress on it, doll,” he told you as he slipped his shirt back on. “Probably just had a rough flight or something.”

You roll your eyes as you finish putting your clothes back on and then wait.

Bucky leaves you for just a minute to go get Steve so you can all finally get on the same page.

You were fixing the couch when they came into the room.

You pick your head up and meet Steve’s eye instantly before looking over to Bucky and sitting down.

“So, you gonna tell us what the hell is going on now?” you say, sharper than you intended.

The tick of Steve’s jaw alone is telling as your stomach twists.

“The mission’s been compromised.”

You wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t.

“…That’s all you’re gonna say?” you question.

“That’s all I can say.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Bab-” Bucky tries to interject.

“No,” you say standing up in exasperated defiance, shooting your eyes to him before looking back to Steve. “What the fuck is going on here, Steve? Really.”

Bucky crosses his arms and looks to Steve for his answer.

“Look, there’s a lot I can’t tell you right now,” he says, suspiciously sending an annoyed look to Bucky as he does. “But believe me, you’ll know everything soon enough. The three of us are gonna be here for a while, though. There’s nothing we can or have to do right now, so let’s just enjoy the down time while we have it. I promise you I have everything under control, and when there’s something you need to know, you’ll know it.”

You didn’t realize how close he had gotten while he spoke until his hand came down reassuringly on your shoulder, sending an unexplained chill through you.

“Alright?” he follows up. Your eyes fall to his hand still on you before you look away, keeping your face down.

“Yeah,” you answer, though your tone makes it clear you aren’t satisfied with his explanation, or lack thereof.

His hand slowly drops from your shoulder before he squeezes your arm lightly and turns away.

“I’m gonna go get settled,” he announces before sending another sharp look to Bucky. “Buck,” he says with a nod of his head.

You watch the two of them go and then check the time. It’s a little past eight. You briefly consider starting something for dinner, but the uneasy feeling still gnaws at you and your focus just isn’t on cooking right now.

Instead, you go to the laundry room and grab the clean bedding, taking it back upstairs to your room to make the bed.

It doesn’t take you very long, and you decide to clean yourself up and start getting ready for bed, despite the fact that you’d just slept for five hours.

You wash off in the shower quickly and by the time Bucky comes into the room, you’re dried and in your pajamas.

“Hey,” he says as he approaches you, looking... off. You can’t quite put a finger on what it is or why.

“Hi,” you respond, instinctively wrapping your arms around him as he returns the gesture. “You okay?”

He picks you up with ease and you hold tighter to him. No matter how many times he does it, you’re always terrified one day he’s gonna drop you.

“Yeah,” he mumbles against your skin as he buries his face in your neck before taking you to the bed and easing you down to sit on the edge. He gets on his knees in front of you and rests his head in your lap as you play with his hair.

“You sure about that?” you prod gently.

“Yeah, I just. I get what you were saying last night. It’s not the same when Steve’s here. Not that I don’t want him here,” he quickly corrects himself, “it’s just different.”

“No, I know what you mean,” you assure him as you run your fingers through his hair, your nails lightly scratching his scalp before you urge him to look up at you. “But no matter what, we’re still here together,” you smile softly as you gaze into his dreamy blues, “and that’s all that matters.”

Bucky leans up to kiss you gently, taking your face delicately in his strong hands as he deepens it before he has to pull away to allow you both some air.

“I love you, doll, you know that?”

“I know, Buck. I love you more.”

Bucky grins, “I don’t think that’s even possible,” he argues playfully as he gets up and pushes you gently down on the bed, eliciting a delicate laugh from you as he crawls on top and begins attacking with kisses and teasing touches.

A knock on the bedroom door gets your attention as Bucky begrudgingly parts from you, allowing you to sit up as he goes to open the door for Steve.

“I’m gonna make something to eat, you guys hungry?” he asks, his earlier anger and irritation seemingly gone now.

“Yeah,” Bucky responds for both of you, “We’ll be right down.”

You hear Steve walk away and then listen to his heavy steps as he goes downstairs.

You look at Bucky petulantly.

“What?” he asks with a huffed laugh.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten since lunch, you can’t just skip meals. ‘S not good for you,” he says, taking your hand and tugging you off the bed. You follow him reluctantly.

As you leave the room, you stop at the top of the stairs, tugging Bucky’s hand a bit.

He turns and looks down at you, waiting for you to speak.

“Seriously, nothing about this seems off to you?” you ask in earnest.

Bucky blinks, taking in your words before you watch him swallow a little thickly. He takes both your hands in his and gives you a half smile.

“Baby,” he starts, bringing one of your hands to his lips and kissing it gently, “you’re okay. We’re okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

His sincerity eases you just slightly as you sigh and nod, a rush of guilt coming over you for being so paranoid. You’re probably stressing him out for no real reason.

You want to explain yourself, the sudden urge to tell him everything about that night, the attack, the true reason you were so on edge lately - well, more so than normal.. - to tell him all of it, was strong.

But you couldn’t do it right now.

You’d tell him later, after you ate and you two were alone again.

i dont know who a writer would be who could handle it (more ignorance on my part than lack of good writers though there is that too) but i’m curious what you think a real, earned redemption could look like for jtodd and if you would even want it.

i definitely think there’s a path, esp because so much of bruce’s philosophy relies on a genuine and earnest commitment to rehabilitation and restorative justice, but i also think (and maybe i’m wrong if anyone has comics recs lmk) but i don’t think i’ve seen a comic with the hard work of reaching out and healing/moving on from the past from both bruce + co and jason

i really love his character but especially now i don’t think dc knows what it wants to do with him so he’s in this perpetual limbo where he’s always on the edges of the batfam, a fringe black sheep member but a member nonetheless, still entangled with them

personally i would love either way but i wish dc would either separate him and let him do his own thing that’s not just punisher lite or really actually go through the process of making amends and fully integrating with the crew, learning to love and trust again and all that

omg this really got away from me so apologies for just word vomiting in your asks but yeah im curious dc puts you in charge of j todd’s next big character arc, what would you do with him

i don’t think that’s ignorance — dc is not known for hiring writers who can include and explore complex themes in their comics lol

personally i think the easiest way to trigger a redemption arc for jason would be take him away from the batfamily and force him to interact with other villains, specifically amanda waller and the suicide squad. task force z came kinda close to this, but didn’t push the concept far enough imo. jason’s interactions with black mask were some of the best parts of utrh — i want to see his ideology be questioned by people who do the exact same things as him, and are fully aware that they’re selfish and destructive.

the truth is that while jason is acting out and murdering people, he’s still bound to bruce. he is autonomously making decisions, but fundamentally he is choosing to stay. he’s choosing to be tethered. he’s choosing to care. seeing the indentured recruits of the suicide squad would be confronting to him.

i don’t think the happy family fanon dynamic will ever be possible without ruining every included character simultaneously, but that’s okay. that’s not what jason truly wants anyway.

specifically, i don’t think he’ll ever be able to work with bruce, which is why i find the jason + dick dynamic so interesting. you’re right — bruce’s fundamental mission is about restorative justice, and he would continue to reach out. dick, however, is a realist, and is extremely protective and territorial of the people in his care (tim, damian, the titans, etc) all of whom jason has hurt. jason has been shown on page to respect dick and his position, and simultaneously think he’s pathetic because he refuses to lose control.

for me ideally, he’d be someone on the very outskirts. i feel like dick and babs would be his point of contact — dick because he’s keeping an eye on jason, and babs because she has way less hangups about working with killers. otherwise? i think he’s lost the chance to properly bond with anyone who knew before he died. that’s the risk he took when he decided to become the red hood. that’s the tragedy.

but to be perfectly honest, the most restorative thing jason could do would be to leave the game entirely, and relearn how to live.

A Survey of House Leadership Titles

We know just enough about each house and its founders that I think there might be some threads to pull at in terms of what different house titles say about the house intends of its leadership, or some other interesting observation  -- in some cases, not a lot, but I’d say enough that there’s enough for me to play with and gnaw on like a naughty cat who should not be chewing embroidery thread.

The Second: No Known Title????

This is so interesting to me. Like, Judith is heir to the House of the Second, and this is a fact that, nevertheless, never at any point makes anything about the internal structure of the second even the slightest bit clear. What is she even heir to? I’m assuming it’s hereditary, because that seems to be the case across the board except for the Sixth. But what is she actually heir to? The training facility? The cohort command within the system??? Something else???

We don’t know, we just know their cohort ranks. Judith’s father was an admiral -- but I am sadly forced to conclude not Sarpedon, because Judith’s father projected a career for her that would force her to stay mostly within the system, and Sarpedon’s career has mostly kept him out of system. This constitutes the entirety of what we know about the Second... But, there’s information in this non-information. What this all says about the Second is that they try and present their cohort ranks as the important ones, the ones that Really Matter...But, then again, Judith, a mere captain, is the heir of the house, so...Are they what Really Matter, really? We don’t know the rules about which contexts things matter in, which I would call not encouraging. That said, I’m betting that Judith a) tries to avoid this contradiction sincerely and steadfastly by honoring the Cohort’s chain of command, and b) she isn’t the only one. If there’s an illusion that there is no mess or complication or strangeness here, it’s a precious illusion that no one intends to disturb until push comes to shove. What the Second cares about most, between their hierarchy and the cohort’s, is a question they do not want to answer.

The Third: King/Queen(?) of Ida, assumed

Man, that is such the most attention-whore title. The pageantry! The showmanship! Crown princes! Princesses! I bet there’s a literal crown, don’t you? (Also, while I’d assume from numerical order that the 5th came after the 3rd, I get the vibe from the general atmospheres of the houses the title order might have been different, that the 3rd picked King and Queen because it’s like Lord and Lady, but bigger and better. If it isn’t, then this is what would have happened if the chronology had played out differently.)

By the way, I do want to know why Babs is a Prince. Like, is that a family rank? A cavalier primary rank? A combined Cavalier-Family rank? A courtesy title? Answer the question, Naberius Tern!

The Fourth: Baron/ess of Tisis

I don’t have much to say about this one, except that my guess is that it’s kind of like the Third or Fifth titles, but, like, different (and a little bit Less Fancy.) I think that is not a coincidence even a little. Also, Baron sounds very cool.

The Fifth: Lady/Lord of Konniortus

Oh, man. I have takes on this one. For one, this is 100% an Augustine decision. For two, Oh, good heavens, he was so smug about it for centuries. It’s powerful, yet understated. Grand as all hell, but not showing off. Everyone would have wanted classical nobility titles, but the specificity of some makes them a bit weaker. I’m thinking of, like, the Lady of the Mercians, or Empress Matilda going by “Lady of the English” as an uncrowned queen for the way the term can sort of gently elide over questions of specific rank. It’s simple, classy, brief.  Augustine is judging half the titles on this list and laughing with a sad shake of his head, like it’s cute that you tried to go as hard as “Lady of Konniortus” and you absolutely failed. And those are the ones where he’s not actively rolling his eyes. But more on that in, oh, about 3 houses from now.

The Sixth: Master Warden

OK, but you know who deserves to be smug for her rad naming skills? Cassie. And I say Cassie, to be clear, because I know it’s her name. Or, the name someone who knew the things Cassie knew about the Sixth. Because, really, I think this refers, in an oblique way, to the Break Clause. Because that clause is, well, it’s the key. It’s the key to the literal and metaphorical lock binding the Sixth House to the empire and to the planet. The whole facility is a prisoner, in a way, overseen by its warden. The whole facility is a lock. And do you know what we call the internal jaws of a lock?

Nothing, actually, because there isn’t a part of a lock that one calls “the internal jaws,” I’ve looked up locksmithing terms when google could not avail me. But...I do know that, if Palamedes and the Sixth thinks of a part of the lock as the Internal Jaws, he’s talking about the little metal pieces inside the lock that the key’s teeth and cut are meant to fit into and around, so only the right key will fit. They are jaws in the sense that teeth fit into them.  When Palamedes makes this little riddle during the Fifth’s dinner party, he’s talking about The Wards. And that it can be unlocked, if a key that fits the ward(en)s is produced, is how the Sixth House is like a lock.

I love that for the Sixth. I got so excited about this realization that I went to some lengths to include this line of thinking in a sixth-house centric fic, because it was simply too good to leave out.They went for an elaborate, multilayered self-created reference that refers back to their secret secession plan, and they’ve stuck with that for 10,000 years without giving away the Bit. Good for them. Really, just delightful.

The Seventh: Duchess/Duke of Rhodes (Assumed)

So, this is more or less just like how I read the Fourth’s nomenclature, except they went with Fancy over Cool. It’s very nearly as important as King/Queen, but not quite, which suits them well enough.  Unless there’s a higher rank and Dulcie’s parents have that rank, which they might. It seems implied. They also keep up the theming, with Pro being a Knight of Rhodes. Point is, they, the Third, the Fifth, and the Fourth are all a part of a system of names, with the Fifth a tiny bit set apart, and the Third probably clawing for the top.

The Eighth: Master Templar of the White Glass

I love this title, and part of what I love is that I know Augustine hates it and rolls his eyes every time he hears it. Because I think it’s a Christabel idea. And I say that for a couple of reasons. The biggest being, it sounds very cool but it makes no sense. Like, flash your mind through literally every point at which Silas or the Eighth house are mentioned. How many of them refer to, in any way, anything pertaining to White Glass? Once, only once. Harrow refers to “White glass mysteries,” but that’s it. It’s a mystery. Outside of that, this title only exists, is only referred to, is only acknowledged at all, in the Gideon the Ninth Dramatis Personae. Sure, the Eighth get described with White, and Templars seems reasonable. They are even referred to as White Templars, because, sure, sensible. But White Glass? Is a throw-away concept here, one only Harrow seems to ever think about. It is a cool-sounding title that refers to nothing of any significance. Its only justification is that it’s rad. It’s just a little stupid, but joyfully so.

Which is not a Mercymorn thing. But I can totally see it as a Christabel decision, one she got very excited about. Like, this is the woman who made One Flesh, One End a thing for the next 10,000 years. Christabel seems to love this stuff, and I think if she got cheerfully enthusiastic about it, Mercymorn would go along with it, and that would enshrine it forever.

The Ninth: The Reverend Father/Mother

So, this is another very good one. Like, Anastasia and Cassiopeia are over here thinking of legitimately good and clever titles, ones which contain a duty, and a secret, and it’s the duty at the core of the house’s leadership, at that. Obviously, the idea of a Reverend Mother is one suitable for the Abbess of a nunnery, so that checks out to begin with, but there’s another layer to it, too. A reason why it’s Reverend Mother and not, say, Abbess, that catches my eye post-Nona, but really ought to have caught my eye before that. “Reverend Daughter,” as a position of heirship, is something important because it’s a Ninth invention. The existence of a Daughter or a Son, as opposed to just having Sisters or Brothers and Mothers or Fathers, creates a direct family line within the ruling family. It becomes a bloodline and an abbey in the same breath.

Harrow insists from the Pool Scene onward that it was critical, the whole future of their house, to have an unbroken bloodline of necromancers descended from Anastasia. And at the end of Nona, we see why: Because Anastasia made a pact with Alecto that is recognized as being attached to Anastasia’s descendants, known by blood. They are the unfulfilled vow, Harrow is right! A line of parents and children, reaching back to their original parent, who made a promise. Mothers and Daughters, all the way down. That’s what the House is really for.

A+ Naming, Anastasia. Fantastic. Beautiful.

cheater : Jason!version part 3 sneak peek

Part 1

Part 2

Oh, boy .....

***

„You are gonna go crazy thinking about him.”

“I am not thinking about him!”

“Sure not.” Stephanie took a sip of her drink, loudly, purposefully slurping through the straw to make Y/N angry.

“could you please stop that? You know I hate that sound.”

“You know what you need?” Steph’s eyes focused on Y/N pale and tormented face. Poor girl was caught in a trap, overthinking about what happened a few days ago, when by some crazy accident she and Jason met in that freaking diner and ….… well…..

Even the memory made her shiver. She just wasn’t sure if it was because of how good it was being with him again or because she hated herself for giving in so easily. He fucking cheated on her! But his hands and lips on her, caressing, touching in all the right places, so good, so perfect, turning her hot and needy and whiny… The way he was moving inside her, pleasuring her, not caring about who might be watching.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

She literally felt like tearing her hair out.

She didn’t want him back.

She wanted him back.

Honestly, she had no idea what she wanted.

 3 years of being together and he just went and destroyed it so carelessly. What if no one would ever love her again? What if he was the one? But could he be the one if he betrayed her like this?

“Please, enlighten me” she hissed towards her friend, forcing her mind to focus on anything else than flashback of Jason’s muscles flexing under her soft touches when he was trapping her between the wall and his body, holding so close and getting her high. She was slipping. She was not strong. And yet, she was ignoring him not falling into the circle of his apologies, promises and excuses

Not yet at least. But she was way too close to that.

“You need a rebound, sugar.”

“A rebound?” Y/N raised an eyebrow “Really, Steph? And what could possibly be that?”

“Who.” The blonde corrected, eyes absolutely innocent, but the smirk forming on her face far from that.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“who could be the rebound. A person, Y/N. A male to be precise. Someone to help you get your mind off your failure of an ex-boyfriend.”

“Ok, fine, I’ll bite. Who?”

“Kyle, obviously.” Stephanie shrugged

“Are you insane? Kyle? The green lantern?”

“He likes you. Bet he’ll be more than happy to help you.”

“He’s an asshole. He’s not serious!”

“Seems like he’s your type than.”

“Oh my god, you are crazy. I’m not going to sleep with Kyle!”

“Whatever you say. But let’s go party tonight? Please? We can take Cass and Babs with us. Girls night out? It’s gonna be fun.”

“That I can do.” Y/N smiled lightly. She could use some good music, dancing and company of people who were standing by her no matter what.  

Upon request, today's rec list contains fics where either Louis or Harry is antisocial or untrusting. This is a shorter and more niche list, but we hope you enjoy it! If you want our rec lists to continue, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Once Upon A Dream | Explicit | 33,319 words | Sequel

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

2) Give Me Love | Explicit | 41,041 words

Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

3) Wild Hearts Run Free | Explicit | 42,979 words

Harry is an alpha who is harbouring a dark secret, one that has forced him into self-imposed isolation, far from civilization and far from temptation. Louis is an omega who has fought the predispositions of his secondary gender his whole life and suddenly finds himself cast aside by his beta partner, leaving him to question his place in the world. When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light? Harry is an alpha who is harbouring a dark secret, one that has forced him into self-imposed isolation, far from civilization and far from temptation. Louis is an omega who has fought the predispositions of his secondary gender his whole life and suddenly finds himself cast aside by his beta partner, leaving him to question his place in the world. When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light?

4) No Easy Choice, But You're Mine | Explicit | 45,603 words

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

5) One Heart Broke, Four Hands Bloody | Explicit | 47,249 words

Louis’ life is really fucking dull until one day he happens upon the scene of a crime, as said crime is happening. A murderer with big hands and a charming smile somehow manages to change his life for the better.

6) Yesterday Came Suddenly | Explicit | 48,504 words

The one where Harry, the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

7) Not Afraid Of Living On A Fault Line | Explicit | 55,218 words

His eyes widened when he realized he had just somehow managed to ask Harry to hang out. Judging by Harry’s own expression, he wasn't the only one who was shocked. Louis expected him to laugh off the ridiculous request but the beta looked up at him, almost hopefully. “Are you being serious?” “Um,” was all Louis could say, feeling every bit as speechless as Harry had been earlier. “Are you?” Harry shrugged. “I’ve been told I need to get out more.”

8) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124,766 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.” “Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.” “Wait, what?” Zayn asked. “Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,” “What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand. “I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.” “That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

i makea da other list. it's even longer this time

content: (everyone i didn't talk abt before lol) von kaiser, king hippo, bear hugger, soda popinski, bald bull, little mac+doc louis (and a random mention of nintendo's other forgotten fighting game ARMS)

art by @verawhisk he's so eepy here

von kaiser

erykah badu once said "totally underrated. i don't think people have dealt with his disability. the stuttering- it's not just the stuttering. something happened to him. i just don't think, y'know, people really cared a lot about it." and she was talking about porky pig but that is my feelings on von kaiser

BUT SERIOUSLY NINTENDO why characterize the second lowest ranking boxer in both nes and wii punch out as having uncontrollable physical tics who is also extremely tough on himself to the point of smacking himself in the head multiple times to reprimand himself???? i don't want to fight him dude PLEASE

he definitely wasn't in super punch out despite icon status because of all the young kids fighting for no reason?? like birdy mac is 17, heike is 19, there's a fuckin flood of 20 year olds. have you ever sat down and wrapped your head around the fact that aran ryan is only 23. his teacher side forced him to back off

his fight with little mac nearly got him booted from the minor league because the ref accused him of throwing the match by only throwing punches that mac would easily block. mac was really pissed bc he assumed von kaiser was underestimating him but he vouched for kaiser and kept him in the wvba. they aren't on good terms bc mac actually has experienced not being taken seriously but he knows he didn't mean anything by it. kaiser just isn't a cold blooded fighter

sorry all kaiser's stuff was so dark AGH i just have emotions abt him. kaiser knows the end of his career is coming around so he started forcing himself not to pick every fight offered to him and distract himself from the time the fight would be happening by exploring the city around him. he most enjoys finding new restaurants and eating with a friend, mostly joe or disco kid.

king hippo

king hippo fans pspspsps. i know it's hard being a fan of a character who likes eating. i was a niall fan i understand your pain

distractable. omg so distractable and so sweet if you're hanging out with him and literally anyone else starts talking to him he's gone. mall vendors love him bc he will hang on to their every word and walk away with thirteen samplings of perfume and two fruity isla paradisa colognes. this absolutely also applies to street animals

u: hippo stop it's a street cat it's literally hissing at you

king hippo: (making purring noises and slow blinking)

it's not that he doesn't talk, it's the fact that everyone expects him to, so he refuses. get to know me on my own terms if you want to get to know me then. nonverbal power

really enjoys being independent so he doesn't like to date or adopt pets but his yard and the area around his house is filled with warm hiding places for strays to sleep and he keeps a big water bowl cleaned and filled to the top. he tries not to feed wild animals bc it's a really terrible idea to get them dependent but sometimes the wandering chickens are too cute

VERY serious about pacific island animal care. his money is for keeping himself fed and for the care and upkeep of his flowers and beehouses. more often than not he walks along the beach all day looking for trash or an animal in distress

i cannot tell you enough what an actual angel he is to be friends with. if you're depressed in another country he's already on a plane on his way. there is no stopping him. hippo is inevitable

you'd be hard pressed to find a single person on his islands who doesn't adore him and light up when he shows up EXCEPT. the owner of a tourist dive bar called sunset chaser. when hippo was a bab he kept wandering inside bc it's right on the beach and has bubbly vertical fish tanks all around. at first the owner assumed he just didn't speak english, then around the 13th visit he realized hippo understood everything he was saying (mostly Leave Please You're Not Old Enough) and was just showing up at this point to fuck with him. long story short hippo started showing up during peak business hours, get seen by the owner, and get chased out laughing his ass off. he comes around now as an adult (and famous) just to order water and soup and leave (30% tip)

loves to make people laugh and often does it without meaning to bc he's so expressive. if someone is an easy laugher (coughdiscokid coughbearhugger) he doesn't even do anything he just sits there and side eyes them like a dog. and then when they stop laughing he starts giggling and he has a crazy infectious laugh so nobody gets anything done

bear hugger

if you didn't have a crazy uncle before you do now

has never taken ANYTHING seriously. his two goals in life is to laugh and make The Perfect Breakfast (so far it requires waffle pancake towers and at least a gallon of maple syrup)

he never gets mean and he doesn't raise his voice when he's angry but when he sees invasive bugs and lizards and all that he turns into THE VERMINATOR

i'm telling you he's out there with a little vacuum laying waste to spotted lanternflies. and his squirrel has an even tinier vacuum and they're laughing like maniacs. it's kind of beautiful

he's kind of. a terrible friend DON'T CLICK OFF LET ME EXPLAIN he loves everyone and is a great guy to know and will come fix your spark plugs if you're in the middle of nowhere but he kind of doesn't realize that he can't just go off the grid whenever he wants for seven months without telling anyone why or where he is. he was just raised to be self sufficient and solitary

wanted to be a mountie as a kid but he decided he doesn't like the idea of answering to anyone just to go out and take care of nature. he does that every day. and he'd have to wear a shirt. no thanks

completely out of pocket humor. "there aren't any wild rats in alberta. i have seen some pet rats though. 's like a rat police state."

one of the very few adults who aren't lactose intolerant and he LOVES milk. he drinks a whole canteen full of it a day to keep himself strong. everyone in the major league is frankly disgusted by this but he's never broken a bone in his life and he's fallen out of at least 10 redwoods. so who's really crazy here

soda popinski

trying to fight the "blunt russian" stereotypes but he refuses to learn any english words besides "yes." "no." and "i don't know."

loyal to the cologne he's been using since he turned 15. the company making it nearly discontinued it but his team arranged to do an advertisement campaign with him as the face of the brand as long as they promised him a lifetime supply. it's a very cedar-y smell with undertones of chrysanthemum

actually really enjoys taking pictures with fans. he's not super confident about his looks but it's the one of the only times he allows himself to smile for pictures. otherwise you have photographers assuming that you will smile for any picture when that is simply not true

he was so hot in his 20's. hold on let me find the image

he didn't like any of the attention he got so at 24 he shaved his head and started growing out his facial hair.

in general he hates being told what to do or being made a fool of. there's a reason he's in the crowd throwing bottles at aran ryan in title defense he got PISSED when aran wasn't fighting fair

despite this and the persona he adopts in the ring he is an extremely level headed and accommodating man. he and bald bull click pretty easily since they both understand how hard it is to shake a reputation of past aggression

soda's wake-up call to that happened in high school. he was constantly restless and getting into trouble with his teachers because he was struggling academically but could never verbalize just how, and with his authority figures when he "had" to fight his classmates in order to not look like an idiot and a wimp. yuh deep rooted resentment of authority

he has never actually drunken alcohol before. "vodka drunkinski" was an over the top joke name around the wvba's tendency to push boxers into stereotypes (his boldness impressed bald bull and started their years long friendship)

he would probably be really good friends with mr. sandman but the two are both more listeners rather than talkers so nothing more than a cool nod when they pass each other happens

he actually has quite a comedic social media presence. always slightly behind the trends but has a giant following because of that. he's like a russian cher

bald bull

hoo. bald bull in my mind lives a crazy life

the first boxer ever signed to the wvba and plans to stick around until his muscles give out. that said the same loyalty cannot be prescribed to the wvba itself

as a young man he was the golden calf. the cash cow (sorry i'm done) he was ready for the cameras at any time; he owned his angry and aggressive persona and he loved the public's fascination with his deadly bull rush. the name bald bull was synonymous with power, fearlessness, with the best of the best and with success.

when don flamenco was coming onto the scene, it was exactly the matchup both men needed. i mean, hello?? the bull and the bullfighter??? this was the fight of the century and the wvba didn't let ANYONE forget it

of course a fight is one night only, but good advertising can last a lifetime. (for better or for worse.) all the promotional material starts rolling out; bald bull's snarl contrasted with the young, calm, captivating don. there were photoshoots of don in matador suits, swinging the red cape with a proud smirk on his face, as though he had already won. as though his opponent were really a bull.

bald bull didn't need to be told who was favored to win. if the bull beats the matador, there is no cheering.

bald bull did win the match, though. handily. practically a massacre; don flamenco hardly threw a punch that mattered. and bull was right; the crowd didn't cheer.

he hadn't even taken off his boxing gloves before bull was summoned to be checked for doping. he had a nasty fight with the wvba doctor then; if he wasn't doping, why wouldn't he just let the tests prove him right? he seemed uncharacteristically aggressive tonight. maybe he should take an indefinite break

finally he defended himself hoarse; he took the blood test. no outside intervention. no apology. no need to push the matter further.

both don and bull's teams approached the wvba with the ultimatum that neither boxer would be coerced into any further matches, on threat of losing both of the fighters. they agreed and don flamenco and bald bull have not spoken since. bull specifically refuses to make any statement on the incident, while don flatly reiterates bald bull's expertise as a veteran of boxing, staying silent on any other questions.

that was, if you could tell, when bald bull learned the sticking power of an aggressive persona. his name is still synonymous with intimidation, power, and rage, though at some point the line between compliment and insult started to blend together.

he's extremely cagey about his real self, though being in the spotlight for so long has left very little of his public image to the imagination, and he's certainly much more irritable than he was as a young man.

he isn't all that he makes himself out to be, obviously. but there is no softer side that's yet to be found; he's just human. that means enough to him, anyway

if you were to dig deep in the youtube educational side (why would you. dork) you would find content by bald bull aimed at students struggling with physics. he loved science in school and was constantly conducting little experiments, and he was fascinated by physics. he feels bad for anyone who really enjoys science but gets held back by higher applications, so he purposefully shows any and every mistake he makes in the experiment to disprove that you have to be perfect as a scientist and to add a bit of entertainment to an otherwise pretty excruciating field

he's extremely well traveled, having visited every country in europe and nearly the entirety of asia as well. his parents believed the best education a child could get was through direct exposure to the real world. he would get horribly homesick and withdraw, dreaming of his bedroom in turkey until his grandmother gave him a piece of advice he carries with him to this day

he grew to enjoy travel, and whenever he starts to feel homesick, he bakes himself baklava. not quite how his grandmother would make, but it comforts him all the same

little mac

i know we all want the wvba to be besties but we gotta be honest at some point. it would be weird if this seventeen year old were just casually hanging out with these men who are on average three times his age

he's a good boxer (duh) but i swear i heard years ago that he was doing professional boxing in order to go to law school later on? pls tell me if you've also heard that i often feel like i'm insane. lawyer mac is so cute rotating him in my mind

btw i believe the name "little mac" being a pretty well known moniker being first used by nes mac, then snes mac and whatnot. i do also believe in mac's first name being macario though so i think doc louis just got really lucky this time around

he was a pretty unremarkable student in terms of popularity before he got famous but after it got so unmanageable he had to switch to online school thereby isolating him even more

he gets flustered so easily. he'll be jogging at the crosswalk with doc waiting for it to clear and then accidentally make eye contact with some guy and nearly slip on his own feet

due to my penchant for forgotten fighting games i also made he and mechanica from ARMS siblings. they both have celebrity crushes on ribbon girl but mac is a kid cobra stan for lifeeee

he and doc have grown inseparable over the course of his career. mac does have parents but he considers doc a father figure too; mac's family tree puts way more merit on chosen family rather than blood

speaking of family trees mac's is wild. he has family in india, haiti, the philippines, mexico, hawai'i, brazil, indigenous america, puerto rica like family reunions go crazy. he's closest (in location and by direct connection) to his latino cousins in the bronx and brooklyn so everyone just assumes he's latino. he honestly has no idea

however due to his multi heritage he loves tweeting once he beats someone. like when he beat don flamenco he immediately tweeted "that's for puerto rico"

mac actually programmed the training holograms as well as his own mesh hologram! he watches copious amounts of past performances of the boxer he's set to go up against and runs an extremely simplified version of their style and estimates how they'll deal with exhaustion, how much force they'll put into each round etc

I have endless thoughts about not-actually-puppet ruler Korkie and his network of escape routes for refugees. Given everything Satine did and went through herself, I can't imagine Korkie just rolling over for the Empire, but I can't imagine him being stupid about it, either.

Pacifists are often insanely dedicated to making things better for the people who need it, even if they can't or won't fight.

Satine relied on refugee escape routes as a teenager to survive.

The Jedi need help. So. So like. If Jedi are fleeing the Purge...

Korkie can easily, if subtly, hold up the actions of Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as We Owe Them.

Korkie has the wealth and influence to quietly have the clans and Houses give sanctuary to the odd Force Sensitive...

He can't say anything, not publicly. But people know by the look on his face and by the history of his family that he does not believe a word of the speech the Empire is having him give.

There's a delicious irony in Mandalorians being there to save Jedi when the chips are down. How many of the children that Quinlan helped ferry to safety in the Kenobi show ended up housed with Mandalorian clans, do you think?

And like. Obviously. Obviously. Due to Ahsoka and all her work. Korkie is in contact with his aunt Bo, who does her own part in ferrying FS younglings, because Friendship With Tano.

(I want Bo-Katan to continue her whole "I am definitely winning, shut up about the fact that I got my ass kicked, I am the BEST" energy while ferrying babies.)

Mandalorians can get away with "I have a small child on a heavily armed ship with heavily armed people"

"What are you planning to fight?" "Fuck you." "Yeah, that tracks."

"That child is four years old." "Perfect age to observe the hunt." "…why do I ever expect anything different from you people."

From @calika on discord:

jango fett's ghost that haunts mandalore frothing at the mouth as he watches the Young Duke ferry another baby jedi through his secret palace, tucking a completed Mandalorian birth certificate and adoption paperwork into their coat pocket, and into the arms of one of his staff's families

Bo Katan giving the lil kiddos the Grump Aunt roadtrip experience gives them those hardboiled sweets as rewards its a Strategy TM because if theyre stopped by imperial customs officers, the kiddos cant answer any questions because theyve got a mouthful of sticky mess

grizzled old mandalorian placing their helmet gently over the kid's head. way too big but very adorable they need some form of Protection also i know that canon is very sketchy about jedi-mandalorian conflict history etc. but i imagine that the mandalorians might still have some old jedi artefacts that were war trophies/from battlefields and that even though the Jedi Archives were destroyed, some parts of the jedi's history was preserved

she has three babs in a sling, front-back-and-side babs. whose the real winner huh? what do you have that makes YOU the winner huh? victory in battle, political power as asthmatic attack dog? pppfffsh i have chubby-cheeked toddlers and a million crayon drawings on my fridge armoury door

I bet she has baby sized leather armor Korkie pretends to believe her "I hate kids" act but all her deliveries are rosy-cheeked and cared for and not crying as hard as they could be about being separated from their families.

bo, deadpan: never make me do this again. kid holding her hand with a stuffed mythosaur in hand: uhm

"Bo, are you sure you don't just want to adopt a kid." "Shut."

something something cast of The Mandalorian find a random refugee Force Sensitive that lights up at seeing Bo-Katan and insistently calls her Auntie.

I know Mandalorians no longer control Mandalore by then but I need. I need Duke Korkarius* Kryze.

* Stolen from Dead Peanut Gallery

Crack/Crangst idea you want to share?

Once again, a perfect anon, because in anticipation of Star Wars Day, my brain came up with a crack Star Wars AU and now I have an excuse to share it (it’s more crack than Crangst, but I hope you like it!)

This crack au features Anakin and Palpatine as semi-problematic grandparents in an au where Anakin never turns, but Palpatine is never discovered and keeps evilly plotting and cloning himself a son while Anakin and Padme raise their family together. Eventually, Anakin and Padme become grandparents to Ben and Palpatine becomes Rey’s problematic boomer grandpa who shows up at his son’s house on Jakku holidays in order to try to bribe is granddaughter with presents to get her to join the darkside.

Details of this AU include the following in no particular order:

Palpatine cloning himself a son and asking everyone not to question who the boy is or where he came from

Anakin and Padme congratulate Palpatine on his son. Even though Palpatine is fuming because his son is powerless but of course Anakin’s children are some of the most powerful in the galaxy, he has to pretend to be a good father, for the sake of public appearances. He’s really bad at it.

Palpatine initially plans on naming his son “clone attempt 53” or something until his advisors tell him it will look bad if he doesn’t give his son an actual name. Palpatine lazily picks the first name he thinks of and then forgets it and continuously calls his son by the wrong name.

Palpatine’s adult son has to give his dad multiple talks about boundaries and why he shouldn’t be telling his ten-year-old granddaughter Sith legends as bedtime stories

Palpatine (reading a bedtime story to five year old Rey): “Tell me child, have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plageuis the wise? It’s not a story your weak and powerless father would tell you.”

Rey’s Father (yelling from the hallway): “Dad, you know I can hear you, right?”

When it comes to Rey, Palpatine is thrilled that his creepy evil Sith experiments FINALLY created a grandchild with the power he desires, only to discover that power comes with a force bond to, you guessed it, another Skywalker. (Palpatine’s hatred for the Skywalker family grows with every passing generation he fails to turn to the dark side).

Han would for sure make a comment about Sheev being old and say something like “isn’t it weird this guy never seems to die even though he was like super old when Anakin was a kid? And how does he randomly have a son? Where did that guy even come from?” These comments drive Palpatine crazy, but Han is Leia Organa (or Leia Skywalker in this AU)’s husband so he gets away with it. (Also Han regularly almost exposes Palpatine’s plans by making casual jokes. This is not on purpose, Han has no clue what’s going on, and he just sort of roams around the senate building while his wife is in meetings causing trouble and speaking out of turn without a care in the world, but Palpatine grows weary of him and constantly has to change his plans because he thinks Han must be onto him but really Han is just snooping around cause he’s bored).

To Palpatine’s utter disappointment, Rey loves the Jedi. An elderly Anakin specifically takes her under his wing, as she reminds him of a young Ashoka. Plus they both grew up in poverty on a desert planet (because Rey’s dad moved out as soon as he could) so I think they’d have a lot to talk about. I can see Anakin showing up to Luke’s Jedi school specifically to take the kids on fun and dangerous missions and Luke can’t say anything against it because it’s his own dad doing this. I like to imagine Anakin and Rey, impulsive little sand orphans that they are, running around on Jedi missions getting messy and ruining their clothes while Padme and Ben (who would bond over their love of fashion and dramatically stylish capes) always look like they’re trying to be on the cover of a fashion magazine. Also you can’t tell me Padme wouldn’t dress her little grandson, baby Benny, up in the cutest little outfits.

Little Ben, Finn, and Rey go to Jedi training together and Palpatine tries his best to get Rey to spill secrets on Luke and his other students to figure out how to turn them. He teaches her to use force lightening and tries to get her to use it against her classmates but instead Rey teaches her new trick to her friends, who accidentally zap Palpatine in the face. He is not amused. Han accidentally makes jokes about his appearance at a senate meeting in front of a microphone that was left on.

In a last ditch desperate effort to get his apprentice, Palpatine invites himself to Luke’s Jedi school, and when Luke is distracted, he tries to bribe Ben, Rey, and Finn into joining the dark side using the promise of things kids like, including toys and candy. He tried the same thing with Luke and Leia when they were young and it fails both times

There is a point where everyone (eventually) figures out Palpatine is evil, but by then, Palpatine is so old and out of it, it doesn’t really matter. There’s one time where he dramatically tries to stand up and take the energy from Rey and Ben’s force bond at a family party, but then his old man knees give out and he topples over and falls asleep in his chair. I’m not much of a Reylo shipper, but I do think it would be funny if he tried this during the objections portion of their wedding and Poe and Finn have to awkwardly and uncomfortably escort him out like wedding bouncers. I also think it would be funny if during this he yelled something like “Fools! I am all the Sith!” or “You will find that it is YOU who are mistaken!” or “Stand together… die together!” with zero context and shoots forth the teeniest weakest little flash of force lightening he can muster and everyone just writes him off as being an old person who’s starting to lose it.

Might add more later but I hope this finds its target audience.

What's interesting about even the busty asian beauty thing is that he never says anything like that about asian women in reality/outside of porn. Like it doesn't make the 'joke' ok, it's definitely still gross, but it's porn, it's 'fantasy'. Despite sam saying he confuses porn and real life I think dean separates the two in his brain and his actions towards real people don't really align with sam's comment. Dean isn't perfect but some corners of fandom really make him sound way grosser than he is

First off, just need to point blank say, the BAB stuff is horrible and gross and always made me super uncomfortable whenever it would pop up on the show. And it's VERY much a writer problem. The writers either had to be extremely unaware or just didn't care abt how gross and fetishizing that magazine is for it to keep recurring like it did in the show. This is one of those instances where, yes, you could absolutely do a critique of Dean + fetishizing asian women and that would totally be valid because it is canonically in the show, but for me I just can't get past it being such a glaring writing issue and it doesn't feel aligned w/ a lot of Dean's character.

But god do I have a lot to say abt Dean + porn in general from a Dean studies perspective. I've wanted to make a proper post abt this for a long time but I want to provide more specifics so I gotta wait until I'm further along in my rewatch. But the gist of it is that for me and in my interpretation, the majority of Dean's porn consumption is very much clearly separate from reality. He tends to prefer over the top, borderline cringe and cheesy productions. Like those Casa Erotica films. And if you read Dean as someone who likely did some form of sex work for survival (very possibly underage as well) I think it makes a lot of sense for Dean to prefer these very obviously staged films instead of some kind of amateur thing.

Like, no doubt there are huge problems in the porn industry, not arguing that, but from Dean's perspective these over the top staged performances feel safer. These women are clearly performers and less likely to be some vulnerable person being nonconsensually filmed or forced to do these acts. I think he likes that it's fake. Even his love of anime and tentacle porn like, those things are so clearly fake. And in this case, they're animated! There is no real person that could potentially be a victim. There's a distance between reality and fantasy for Dean, and again this is purely my own headcanons and interpretations, but I think for him, if he had a traumatic history with sex work (which again, likely was more for survival and therefore not really a 'choice' or something empowering for him) then this sort of cheesy porn would feel very safe and comfortable for him and less likely to trigger past trauma or other uncomfortable feelings. Even when he meets that porn star, he's very star struck in a "fan" sort of way, which again highlights that he views those films as well, films, and he recognizes that it's all fake. I'm pretty sure he even like, compliments her on her talent and performance. Because he knows it's a job and an act. But yea there's just so much more that could be said about this.

Batman for Dummies

Chapter 4: Introducing the BOY HUNTER!

AO3: Chapter 4 | Read from the beginning

Fandom: Batman

Featured Characters/Relationships: Helena Bertinelli & Tim Drake. (*sigh* William Pettit also necessarily shows up a lot this chapter too.)

Wordcount: 10,600

Fic Summary:

In the aftermath of the quake that shook Gotham, Helena Bertinelli takes on the mantle of the Bat. (It isn’t like Batman’s using it.) If she’d known the cowl came with a certain moralizing little bird following her around — well, she probably still would’ve done it, but it would’ve been nice to know in advance. (Or: Tim and Helena team up 2: electric boogaloo. Now with more bats!)

Under the wire, baby! There is still a short epilogue I've got to write for this, but I am counting this towards finishing this fic by the end of the year.

It's time to return to No Man's Land ~drama~ this chapter as we hit the endgame:

Excerpt:

Barbara turned at the sound of the window opening. Robin was climbing through. “Good,” she said. “You’re here.”

“Babs, B.” He nodded to her and Bruce, who was doing his best shadow impression in the cape and cowl at her side. “What’s going on?”

Bruce grunted. “Something’s come up.”

That was her cue. Barbara pulled up the news segment she’d recorded earlier that day.

In it, Lex Luthor stood behind a podium, an overwhelmed looking Jack Drake at his side. “For the past week, we have all been following the tragic story of Tim Drake. We have watched as the government refuses to do anything to help this poor child, trapped in No Man’s Land. Well I refuse to stand by any longer. If the government won’t help you, Mr. Drake, then I will. LexCorp will be sending a private task force to do everything they can to rescue your son. As a nation, we have too long turned a blind eye to No Man’s Land. LexCorp will stand for it no longer.

He shook Jack Drake’s hand, smiling wide for the cameras, and then the man was being pushed to the microphone.

“I am, uh, of course, very thankful for your help,” he said, less assured than Luthor had been. “I just want Tim back home safe. I want my son—”

“Stop it,” Robin said, his voice thick with an emotion Barbara politely pretended not to notice.

She paused the video.

“Why are you showing me this?” he demanded. Then, to Bruce: “Why?”

“Robin,” Barbara said gently. “I’m not stupid, kid. You made national news.”

“Tim—” Bruce said.

Robin turned on him. “B,” he said, half pleading and half angry.

“—you know this changes things,” he continued. “Luthor will have people looking for you. It’s an additional risk.” Then, his voice softer and with a hundred layers of restraint. “Your father’s looking for you.”

“You don’t get to—” Robin said. “You don’t— I’m not leaving.”

���We need to do something,” Barbara said, before things devolved further. “We can’t risk Luthor poking his nose into our operations.”

“We could use the PR to our advantage if we arrange for you to—” Bruce started to say.

“I already told you, I’m not leaving,” Robin crossed his arms. “I’ve been here for nine months already. I’m staying to the end.

“Are you sure?”

“B, listen to me.”

He let out a carefully metered breath. “Fine. We’ll figure something out.”

Robin relaxed. “Thanks.”

He lingered after Bruce had left.

“I guess I don’t need this anymore,” he said, peeling off his mask.

“You didn’t think you could keep it from me forever, did you?” Barbara asked.

“No, I guess not.” He sighed. “I didn’t mean for it to be such a big deal. I just… I just wanted my dad to know I was okay.”

“He obviously cares about you.”

“Yeah,” Tim said distantly. “He does.”

Thank you for your "we need to combat people's black and white views in media” post. It’s nice to see someone have a reasonable opinion about something. I feel like a lot of DC comic spaces have the most bizarre takes and honestly think it’s why the state of comics is so bad right now and writers are afraid to take chances or write things that are so generic.

Do you have any unpopular opinions about Babs or Jason? Or anything you would like to see in future comics? You said you enjoyed Jason as a character but what’s your ideal Jason and how do you think he should be written?

Wow, what a lovely ask, thank you Nonny!

First, cuz I know I'm gonna ramble on about the other things- yes, DC is a goddamn mess and at least 48% of the reason is that fans feel especially entitled these days, which makes writers either overly cautious or extremely defensive of anything they try. Fandom spaces can get very toxic very quickly cuz of the whole black-and-white morality thing and the aforementioned entitlement that makes people feel like they get to dictate the direction the art they consume takes. You don't get to do that, people! Stop it.

For Babs- idk if I have unpopular opinions. Like most people, I think she was wonderful and *important* as Oracle, and I wish they would do more than pay lip service to her disability. On the other side of that, I understand that DC Editorial is a mess and that if a writer ever DOES decide to follow through on that "chip in her spine won't work forever" thing, they will need to cut through a lot of red tape to get permission to do so, so I don't really get mad when writers have her as Batgirl still, or have her bounce between Batgirl and Oracle. If she ever does become a full time wheelchair user again, I hope it's done in a respectful way that supports her agency, rather than how TKJ did her. The Young Justice show had an interesting take on that which I didn't mind.

My unpopular Jason opinion is probably that I liked the All-Caste stuff from RHATO N52 and I think letting Jason have a niche as a Bat that deals with mystical stuff and with the nitty-gritty of the criminal underground is a good way to set him apart and give him his own stuff to do outside of Bat Events. Also Generation Outlaw was a cool concept and I enjoy the idea of Jason reluctantly inheriting Bruce's tendency towards "Debatably Accidental Child Acquisition."

That said, my ideal Jason functions as a foil to Batman. I don't want them to be enemies, but I do want them to push each other and challenge each other. I want Jason to poke holes in Bruce's crime fighting philosophy, but to also still have a good relationship with his family. I want Jason to struggle with his own philosophy, as he did in Zdarsky's "Cheer" story, because the way he does things IS riskier than how Bruce does things and sometimes the ends don't justify the means.

I think Jason (like Damian, but Jason is more mature) works wonderfully in stories about redemption and self-discovery as well. Task Force Z had appeal for me in that sense, because I also think that Two-Face (who Jason has history with in his first post-crisis story) ALSO works well in story lines like that.

In the future... Well, my opinion is that there are just too many Bat books and Bat Events. I want DC to let their other characters breathe. My ideal set up would be Batman as a solo series and Tec as a team book, like it was when Tynion wrote it. Then Urban Legends for miscellaneous Bat stories. Nightwing of course with his solo (and please, PLEASE, let that boy stay in Bludhaven and take care of business, stop dragging him back to Gotham every time a rogue sneezes, he has his own shit to worry about). The rest of the Batfam can pop up in Tec and Urban Legends and then be with their respective teams. Titans, YJ, Outlaws, Outsiders, etc. (ETA BoP to this potential team book list of course!)

And then pls no huge Bat Events for at least a year and a half. Let them BREATHE, for fuck's sake!!!!

So... Yeah! Thanks Nonny!

Raising Phantom CHpt 5

Here is is on Ao3

Jason made his way up the front stairs to the library. This was only his third time this week. He swore he stop, there was nothing strange about the two, but Danny had asked him for recommendations, and he be damned to delay a kid from reading. He pushed open the library door, praying Babs wasn't at the counter and just Jasmine. “If your looking for them, they're not here.” Babs yawned as soon as she seen Jason's head pop through the door. “I wasn't-” “Mmhm. Danny's been excited about the next story, he already began reading it.” Babs smiled up at Jason. “It was a good story.” Jason tried to play it off, but now knowing they were missing bothered him.

The door chimed, “Hey Babs! Guess who I finally convinced to come over~!” Dick had Damian, who was just off of school in tow. “...I was promised we were going for vegan ice cream.” “Ice cream? Your price is getting low.” Jason snickered. Damian glared. “Well, I'm afraid they're not here. Apparently their uncle made a surprised early visit, and whisked them away.” Barbara said as she fixed her glasses. “Their rich uncle?” Dick asked. “Yep. Vlad Masters.” “That stuck up fucker?!” “The one obsessed with the Packers?!” Dick and Jason exclaimed. They both had annoying bouts with the man, the times he visited Gotham. Dick cringing at his memories of having to listen to the man brag on and on about a football team. Trying to suck up or talk to anyone that dare listen. Dick unfortunately chose to stay at the food table when he got caught by the man. Dick didn't even care about football! Told him so, but he just kept going! Now he knew an ungodly amount of facts about the Packers. Jason remembered how entitled and pompous the jerk was, he definitely looked down on him and Bruce. Talking about how Jason was just a charity case to keep good appearances. Though Jason didn't have as good of an opinion about Bruce anymore, the way the man had said it then still boiled his blood. And Danny and Jazz were with him?! “I despised that man.” Damian glared, “I do not wish to associate with anyone that's related to that man.” “Not related. He was their god father, helped them out in a bad situation.” Barbara explained, “Yeah. I know. Shocking.” The look on their faces gave away their disbelief. Dick shook out of it first and asked. “Wait, why did he pick them up?”

“Apparently Vlad's been wanting to show them off at the upcoming gala for some time now. Jazz said she delayed it this long, its the least they could do. He took them shopping for proper attire. Both Jazz and Danny didn't look too please when he came waltzing in. He barely gave an hour notice. “ The two oldest brothers blinked, trying to absorb the information. “I'll be waiting in the car, Richard.” Damian walked back out. --owo-- Danny grumbled and fussed with the suit he was forced to try on. Curse Vlad. He tossed the tie at the offending man, huffing. “Why can't I have a clip on?! Or none at all. Like who even needs to wear ties anymore? Your rich, aren't you? Who the heck going to talk down on you for not wearing one?!” Vlad pulled the tie off his face, taking a deep breath. Danny was trying his patience today. “Daniel-” “Its legally Danny.” Danny reminded. “Right. Danny.” He stressed Danny's name. “I will not have my son-” “Grandson. Don't make people think weird things.” Not that Danny even wanted to take claim to that, but its better then people thinking Jazz had a one off with their father's college friend. “-My GRANDson at Wayne's gala without looking perfect! Bruce Wayne and his infuriating orphanage rejects he adopted plus the terrifying child that supposedly came from his sack. If you asked me, he just adopted another one and lied, there is no way that child is his.” Vlad fumed. Danny crossed his arms, as he glared at Vlad just going off about Bruce Wayne. Danny was only half paying attention. “uh-huh. Yeah yeah. Bruce Wayne this and that. Playboy that doesn't deserve his wealth. Yada yada. This is all because he refused to do business with you, isn't it?” “That man is a fool!” “Considering how you earned your wealth, it seems like the opposite.” Danny muttered. Vlad scoffed, “That playboy couldn't see a perfectly reasonable beneficial deal if it whacked him in the face. Its a miracle, Wayne industries is running as it is.” Danny doubted that, glancing over at the employee with red eyes. Vlad had possessed the man with one of his duplicates so they could have privacy and so Vlad could be in charge of picking out their clothes. He didn't want anyone to assist or add their two cents on it. “Besides Mr. Wayne being there, there will be investors swarming the place. All happily talking about their company or their kids, and I like to be able to show how dapper you are.” “Dapper? Don't tell me you're going to gel my hair too? That stuff is gross.” Danny frowned as Vlad knelt down to try and put on Danny's tie. Danny not making anymore fuss, staring at the tie to see how Vlad did it. “No no, that will not suit your scruffy charm. Though it is tempting, I doubt it'll stay down, knowing you. Little Badger.” Vlad ruffling Danny's head as he stood back up. “You always had a knack for bouncing back and your hair embodies that.” Danny frowning as he glared down at the red bow tie. He actually liked the color red, but he had a sneaking suspicion this outfit looked identical to Vlad's. Glancing at the mirror. No. It was confirmed. At least his hair wasn't long enough to wear a stupid ponytail like him. “Plus it helps hide those angry eyes of yours.” Vlad teased, “After all, you're still not very good at hiding your emotions yet. Not that you ever were.” On cue, Danny's eyes glowed green for a moment, as he glared at Vlad. The man was just asking for a fight. Danny didn't care if he was half the man size. Didn't stop Dani from kicking his butt. “Vlad, could you stop antagonizing Danny! You two haven't been archenemies in the last few years. It would be nice if you two acted like it!” Jazz huffed as she came out of the dressing room to show the gown she was wearing. It was a loose rose gold dress that clung at her waist. Loose fabric in the front over her breasts and the back was cut out. “Blech. Oh Heavens no Jasmine! What happened to the dress I picked out for you?” Vlad gasped. “It didn't fit. What's wrong with this one?” Jazz looked at herself in the mirror. She thought it was pretty, and was less gaudy then the red ballgown Vlad had picked out. She could walk in it and found it elegant but youthful. “Jasmine, I know you don't care about your reputation, but that dress would have everyone thinking you're a hussy! Far too revealing. Plus pink is not your color, almost matches your skin tone. Biscuits! They would think your nude!“ Danny raised a brow at Vlad then back at Jazz. It was strange to see Jazz in a fancy dress, and he kind of agreed about the nude thing. But He hated how Vlad was over dramatizing it. Jazz put her hands on her hips, with a huff. “And bright red was?” “Red matches Danny and I. Color coordination girl! Its the easiest way to show that we're a family!” Vlad huffed. “Ok, ok. Fine. I'll change. You know, it would be nice if you un-possessed one of the employees so I can actually find a dress in here.” Jazz complained. “They're just here to be mouth pieces! They'll say anything to make you buy a dress. They're being paid on compliments not accuracy, my dear girl.” Vlad stated. Jazz rolled her eyes and huffed back into the dressing room. Even she was getting annoyed by Vlad, by now. Despite him being a big help, he still was.. difficult to deal with. Danny looked at where Jazz marched off from, no doubt Vlad already had one of the possessed employees gathering gowns for her. He glanced back at Vlad. It was still so strange to be on “good” terms with him. Who knew one of them had to fall into a pathetic state to do so. Danny was always hoping it be Vlad. Not him. He remembered when he tried to fight Vlad when he first found them. Unfortunately, Danny had only recovered his flying and phasing abilities by then. He was still having trouble turning invisible or consistently changing forms. Vlad was too stunned to fight back at first, seeing Danny.. but obviously overpowered him easily. Danny held back a snort at how big Vlad's eyes got when he found himself on the end of the Fenton Peeler. He surrendered Danny to Jazz and then started gabbing like he does. Danny didn't want anything to do with him, but Jazz made an offer. He didn't talk to her for two weeks after it. Pissed off she would even think to make a deal with him again. Like always though, she was proven right. Vlad perked up at the idea of having them, even if it wasn't how he imagined. Thus they became an awkward family. Vlad would visit a lot at first, but soon his shady businesses got a hold of him again. Danny was so glad, he had been very close to punching the man. Danny remember that was when Danielle came around. She was so confused at first, then she lavished in being the older sister. Jazz was able to make Dani legal, through Vlad. After that, she chose to live with Valerie most of the time. She did stay with him and Jazz on and off, and then she traveled the rest of the time. He missed her. She said she was going to visit at least once more before his next “birthday”. Danny was looking forward to it. He really wanted to get in some practice with his ice powers. He found it strange that his ice had come back to him, when most of his powers hadn't. It appeared that his powers were not coming back in order nor as quickly as they did his first year as Phantom. Not that he was complaining. It was better he was able to control it now, then to find himself frosting over in class with no clue on how to release it. Danny glanced back at Vlad. He tried to help Danny with his powers too. Apparently the rate he was getting them were more like Vlad had. Unfortunately for the both of them, Vlad was a terrible teacher. Honestly, he thinks him and Jazz helped Vlad more with his powers then the other way around. Which Danny did not particularly want, but Vlad was being... decent. So he won't hold it against him.. for now. “Can I change back into my clothes now?” Danny asked. “No, Daniel-Danny. We have to make certain you and your sister match!” Vlad insisted. “Now just sit tight and be a good boy, hm?” Danny groaned as he flopped down on the ground crossing his arms. Not caring that he was wrinkling up a suit that probably costed thousands of dollars. Vlad was going to buy it, and honestly, he didn't care if he wasn't. It was Vlad's money he be wasting. Jazz came out in a red dress and was immediately dismissed by Vlad saying the shade was too maroon and the jewels on it were poorly cut. Now Danny had to listen to Vlad rant while Jazz stomped back into the dressing room. This was going to be a long day. Danny felt a cooling sensation in his chest. He jolted looking around, it wasn't close. Vlad seemed to pause, meeting Danny's eyes. Vlad frowned, narrowing his eyes as he stared at the direction of the pull. He then glanced at the cameras, noticing them moving, but they shortly died after Vlad had noticed them. “It appears we have company. Come along Little Badger. JASMINE! Change of plans, get dress. I'll just hire you a designer!” Vlad helping Danny back on his feet, calling to Jazz. “Its next weekend?!” “They've made gowns for the red carpet in less time and with worse fabric!” Vlad pushing Danny into the dressing room, phasing the boy through the wall into it. “URGHH! I just got this zipped!” Jazz groaned as she struggled to get the dress back off.

--owo--

“Finally! I got the cameras back online.” Tim stated as he looked at the screen on the device in his hands. “Well too late, they're already walking out.” Jason pointed out, staring at the shop through binoculars. Jazz's hair was frizzed and sticking up every where, her arms crossed as she walked in front of the two boys. She didn't look pleased. Vlad was carrying a bag, while on his phone, bringing up the rear. Danny was in the middle, trying to keep up with Jazz. He almost reached to grab her, but he pulled his hand back before he could, staring at the ground. Jason frowned. “Dammit.” Tim cursed, “I can't bring up the past hour either.” “This is ridiculous, why must we follow them? The ice cream shop will be closed soon!” Damian huffed from his spot on the roof. All of them wearing quick disguises. “Shh brat. You'll get your icecream if I have to make it myself.” Jason grumbled. “Ooo Jay offering to cook for us?” Dick grinned. “A. not cooking, freezing. B. Who the fuck said the offer was for all of you?” Jason huffed, still watching the three as they climbed into a limo. Extra Masters. Though he duck when both Danny and Vlad looked his way. “You would think they were looking right at us.” Dick narrowing his eyes, swearing they were. “Maybe they were.” Tim suspected. “Dumb asses. They couldn't see us from that distance.” Jason stated, more so to himself. “Then why did you duck?” Dick asked with a raised brow, keeping low behind a short wall. “Instinct...” Jason grumbled trying to blow it off. “Do you think Jazz is a meta?” Tim asked after a moment of silence, his eyes popping open as if he unlocked a sixth sense. All three of them looking at Tim with a confused expression. Except Damian's. His was annoyance. “No seriously. Her hair looked like a vacuum sucked it up! What if she short circuited the cameras?” They paused again to soak that possibility in. It was just as plausible as the other five hundred variant of theories they had going in the chat. If she was possibly a meta, which Jason doubted, then there was no way Bruce be okay with her being here. Especially because of her major. “Fuck...We have to make sure Bruce does NOT get more than five minutes with them.” Jason stated. “Attached?” Dick teased. “More like they deserve to live without needing a giant bat breathing down their neck.” “You are the ones stalking them.” Damian reminded, tapping his foot. His patience is running thin. The three made no remark.

Batfamily Headcanons - 1

-Bruce loves his kids. But, like really, his favorite time is always family dinners, patrols, or simply every second he spends time with all of his children.

-Yes, they sometimes get angry, and even they hurt each other, but no, no one can stay mad at one other forever. One hug, and it's all over.

-Sometimes, when everyone is around, they spend times WİTHOUT Bruce. They walk on the streets, eat ice cream, go to the shooting range, or walk by the ocean.

-But if they don't want to go outside, they are choosing a room and they spend their time in there mostly. Like they play board games, card games and more -and one day... one day, surely Jason will force them to start gambling/poker at home...-

-Damian and Jason are closer than everyone thinks. Damian had all his firsts with Jason. The first time he cried his eyes out, the first time shot a gun, the first time he slept/fell asleep next to someone, the first time he felt, undoubtedly, safe, and more, all were with him. And Jason was the same too; the first time he felt unjudged, the first time he felt like a big brother, the first time he felt at home, all were with Damian.

-Bruce, actually, can cook. This is not up for discussion... And yes, he learned that the hard way, but he eventually did, okay? Also, mostly, he learned it from Alfred, but as he likes to be "Creative" he creates his recipes, and somehow, every time, they turn out really good!!! And he likes to cook for his children. So family dinners are, always but like always, from Bruce "Cook" Wayne.

-Just like Bruce, Jason also likes to cook, and sometimes, if he has free time, dinners are from Jason "Cook" Todd.

-Okay, sorry, but they aren't scared of Alfred, like none of them, because they know he would never hurt them. But yes, they are afraid because no one knows his limits, even Bruce...

-Well... 2 words... Stoner Tim... That's the headcanon...

-And as Damian grew up with the smell of smoke because of Jason, he kinda likes it now. Yes, at first, he hated it, and he found smoking very stupid, but after Jason left him, he even missed that gross smell. So every time he smells cigarettes now, the old memories come back.

-Also, Bruce got some alcohol problems... He is an emotional drinker, so whenever he feels down, he ends up in the cellar. And no one knows about it. He got his own ways to keep it as a secret, even from Alfred.

-Dick and Roy started to smoke and drink together -for a while- after learning about Jason's death... Facts!!! -Also, Star had to have their backs, though, cause they were both really fucked up...-

-Okay, I don't care what anyone says... For me, they all love galas, balls, or such events. Because they feel "Normal"?? Yes, it's weird, I know but think about it. All of them are with Gotham's most-known people and families. Everyone is happy, laughing, and having some fun. Gotham's citizens are talking about that event, and also, they are having fun! I mean how many peaceful nights are out there in Gotham?? LET PEOPLE HAVE FUN WITH SUCH EVENTS!! ESPECİALLY WITH WAYNE GALAS!!! -But of course, they don't like to be dressed up. Like, who actually would??-

-So you know what? Three troublemakers of the family are the ones who graduate from a university except for Babs... (Barbara graduated from Gotham University School of Technology, Jason graduated from Gotham University School of Law, Stephanie graduated from Gotham University School of Design, and Damian graduated from Gotham University School of Science.)

-They all love all animals, soo much. But they got of course their superior animals:

Bruce: Bats (Do I have to explain??)

Selina: Cats (Well...)

Dick: Elephants (Zitka... Wait for a second pls, I'm crying...)

Barbara: Squirrels (I don't have any idea why but she reminds me of squirrels.)

Jason: Foxs (His surname means "Fox" as I know, and he is a redhead in some versions -just like foxs- and he is a redhead magnet, fair enough for me.)

Tim: Robins (This boy just has issues with Robin's, and being Robin. Like wth Tim???)

Stephanie: Canarys (Again I don't have any idea why but she is a canary.)

Cassandra: Spiders (She is silent, dangerous, and hella scary, just like a spider, perfect match!)

Damian: (Dude for him, it's better to be killed rather than make him choose an animal, like, are you kidding?)

Duke: Frogs (Don't know why, but just when I saw a yellow frog I was like "It's Duke..." They are soo cuteee!)