#was gonna kill myself last night lol
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After a no sleep for days n panic qttacks benzo and heroin withdrawl n a cutting relapse also not eating for days I find my tormented soul only finds quite in nightwalking aimlessly In empty places with my music as loud as possible so I don't feel observed all the time by people who have no idea how I work. I can pretend I'm the last person alive on earth. That things will be ok
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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my supervisor felt the psychic vibes of me searching for other jobs on my lunch break so he pulled me aside for a meeting about how i'm not good enough at my job <3
#literally telling me im too slow when the only thing i like abt this job is setting my own pace lol#anyway chewing drywall im literally truly going to apply to be a dmv clerk i said that last night and this morning im serious#they tell me to spend less time inspecting the merchandise but if i dont inspect it then quality control tells me its not good#and makes me redo it??#i know its faster and easier for them for me to not do that but it's faster and easier for me to do it so im gonna do it#anyway#killing myself killing myself killing myself#also its abt to be the busy season ughh#i was abt to apply for a seasonal job yesterday its not full time#feel lowkey bad bc i told these people i wanted to stay with the company and work up to management and stuff but ugh#even the management does manual labor all day no thanks#im supposed to do that at home too but i dont have the energy#anyway meeting wasn't all bad they indicated a possibility of moving me to something less manual labor intensive for some of the days#this has been a shitpost
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...
#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted#and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i#think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god.#and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind#and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind#splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt#and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d#some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard#as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not#and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and#more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this#and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make#things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill#laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop#with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out#itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄#unrelated
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woe another tag vent session be upon ye
#one of the girls in my class looks just like her. oh my god.#like im not being dramatic i literally thought it was her in my peripheral vision.#literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the room lmaooooooo#and then for the rest of the day every time i saw someone with her hair color i just saw her.#this shit sucks fr y'all i have never almost cried in public this much#and then i had to drive to pick up some groceries and fuck.#ive never been an anxious driver. i quite enjoy driving actually.#but i literally almost had a panic attack when i first pulled onto the road. i was so fucking anxious the entire time i was behind the whee#someone came up behind me pretty fast and i legit had to pull over to calm down it was so bad#so uh. not gonna be driving for a while lol. gonna kill myself or someone else doing that.#idk. idk i think this has me pretty messed up and i probably will be for a while. idk#my roommates and i finally decorated our living room and it was . fun. we laughed and made jokes and it was fun#but well. predictably i am feeling guilty over having fun now. which sucks ass from every angle#should i probably maybe make an appointment for therapy ???? probably ???????????#idk. might be good to talk all this out out loud yk. but also i Know i will cry and i dont want to do that.#sigh. anyway.#also predictably i cannot sleep. couldnt last night either.#i might go paint in the living room. i dont know.#anyway if u read this whole rant ily ur earning the veteran's pass to Winter's Breakdown Sessions#winter speaks#personal#grief tag#<- once again if u need to blacklist. will not hold it against anybody i prommy#tw death#tw panic attack
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god fucking damn my life, bro. I find a couple of ants in my room and immediately freak out. I start feeling shit crawling on me and turn on a flashlight to go look for some hidden source, already hyperventilating. And then I remember I woke up late and didn't take my morning meds. Girl, we have a balcony and my mom keeps plants there. Calm the fuck down. You like having the window open. It's FINE. It's just ants.
Last weekend I skipped my morning meds two days in a row cuz I woke up late and I feared sertraline insomnia - which, yes, in hindsight was a bad idea - and on Sunday I had a full meltdown. Granted, also period-related, but god fucking damn it. I tore my whole room apart. I couldn't vacuum under my bed easily because of my desk's placement so I decided I was going to move furniture around and reorganize my room. On a Sunday afternoon, in the summer and with tendonitis. All cuz I saw some ants and couldn't verify with my own two eyes every corner of the room. And because I couldn't physically move the wardrobe and bookcase, I guess I took out my anxiety with the remaining furniture. And god fucking damn it, here I am again a week later.
I keep finding ants (3) running on my desk all of a sudden while I'm SITTING THERE and have no idea ("no idea") where they're coming from (engage the phone flashlight routine). I moved this bitch AWAY from the window and they're fucking HUNTING me or smth (it's 35ºC out, girl). I hate my life. And I hate that any suggestion of bugs makes me start feeling shit on my skin that isn't there. Dumb fucking brain. Anyway I need sleep and to take my sertraline asap or else.
#i can't express to you how badly I was doing last week#my mom wasn't home when I was remodeling but I was fantasizing about screaming:#''take those plants out of my side of the veranda or i'll throw them OR myself off the balcony''#i'm not suicidal don't worry it would be for the drama of the ultimatum#and then I took my meds the next day and I was calmer lol#but this has happened before. i believe this entire formication / almost delusional parasitosis started cuz i'm allergic to mosquitoes#and as a kid who lived with 3 grown people and had no power over them to close their damn windows - I attracted all the bugs#and I couldn't sleep and I heard and felt them near me and it was a horrible time#still at 23 i can only either pass out from exhaustion or more often find and kill them before I can sleep#when I was 14 or smth our cat also got fleas and I spent the most paranoids nights of my life suffering cuz they got into my bed#last year I slept over at a friend's house for a night and brought back what must've been a SINGLE flea#I'm not kidding you when I say I quarantined my room and slept in the living room for over a month. i was panicking#(i've since started anxiety meds)#I legit feared we had bedbugs and was looking at every single outlet and corner of my bed#our cat recently caught fleas and I combed through him to pick them out every day. that experience actually calmed me down about them#but it's when you can't see them / where they're hiding that's the problem#(it also taught me to let my cat in my room and then fleas become his problem LMAO)#(cuz his long fur 24/7 is way better than my legs for 8h I've been told lol)#anyway point is I get freaky when I suspect bugs are hiding somewhere#and that they're gonna bite me and I'm going to get super itchy and not be able to sleep#i start feeling shit on my skin and yes i know that's not normal. and I have to look at it to convince my brain to ignore it#i get jumpscared by my HAIR falling on my arms girl. that's embarrassing#what i'm ANGRY about is that this is about ANTS. who want NOTHING to do with me and every to do with idk leaves and crumbs#and I KNOW they're from the veranda. but nooooo someone is dumb and skipped her meds and now she's withdrawing and freaking out. about ANTS#EMBARRASSING.#as i'm typing this i'm scratching at myself for what is most likely 1) nothing 2) my hair or 3) cat fur#i'd bring this up to my therapist but he abandoned me </3 like they all do </3 i'm gonna develop abandonment issues at this rate LMAO#so uh anyway imma finish what I was doing (lie) and go to sleep (eventually) and take my meds#and hopefully remember to mention the formication to a health professional at some point lol#i just needed to write this down as evidence of how i'm feeling rn so tomorrow I can read this and say ''wow that was silly'' mkay? kay
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uwaaahhh... last night my dream was awful lol. I like how my dreams are either like "Oh no! I ate some delicious cake my mom made for me but it turns out it had GLUTEN in it! Rats!! Now I'm going to have a tummy ache!!!!" or "You're a young child at a summer camp. You're a bit weaker than your peers, when you were a kid the bones in your feet fused oddly so you could never run or play like everyone else. You're weak. The other children smell it on you. Kids at the camp start disappearing into the woods. The only friends in your cabin vanish and you're left with no one. One of the counselors uses the isolation to start raping you. You begin painting watercolor illustrations of twisted up bodies together, horrid amalgamations of both children and adults fused by their skin. Someone in the woods starts whispering to you, but you can never make out their face. You remember that one of the counselors has a gun hidden in the nurses office. You steal it. You go back to your cabin and strip nude on the bed. You put the barrel in your mouth. You pull the trigger. They find you like that, alone. You're always alone."
#weird fact: I LOVE killing myself in dreams lmao#it genuinely feels so good. like borderline wet dream good#when I die in a dream I get this strong feeling of ecstacy#just pure comfort and melancholy#I'll have dreams where it leads up to my death and once it happens I'll just do the death scene over & over again cuz it feels so great LOL#the angstier the better.....#I wanna feel dah pain (pleasure) >:33#my dream last night was very draining though... le sigh....#ultra sleepy depressive mode today.#just gonna rot a bit before I'm forced to go to work....#i hate work. I HATE IT
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a very nonsense christmas | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader
face claim: sabrina carpenter
based on this request: Hi, how are you can you please write something with Charles x singer reader like a part 2 of "nonsense... or is it?" based on Santa doesn't know you like I do music video something very wholesome idk you can ignore this if you want, hope you have a good day/night 🤍 - @rana030
MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI? | PART ONE
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,441,934 others
yourusername: do you hear those slay bells ringing? i love christmas so much that i'm giving you guys six new songs for this holiday season !!
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user1: mama is going straight on the nice list for this one
user2: christmas is saved
charles_leclerc: so proud of you cherie
yourusername: says the muse
charles_leclerc: you're my angel on the top of the tree
yourusername: as long as you're under the tree ready to be unwrapped
pierregasly: STOP
alexalbon: we MUST protect the sanctity of christmas
yourusername: oh alex, do not listen to the ep...
alexalbon: too late just pressed play
alexalbon: YOU NEED THE CHARLES DICKENS ???
yourusername: amazing word play, am i right?
alexalbon: no.
charles_leclerc: he doesn't meant that babe. lily has a commitment, he's just lonely
user3: y/n was like "if you weren't aware, i am getting DICKED DOWN for christmas"
user4: as much as i'd peel all of my skin off to be in either of their positions, good for her
maxverstappen1: i think nonsense christmas has single handedly killed my investigative journalism career. i am not analysing charles' massive sack
yourusername: damn right you won't be
charles_leclerc: maybe you should analyse it, you could learn something from it
maxverstappen1: hOW DARE YOU
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc, taylorswift & killatrav
yourusername: thank you to all the lovely people who came to the fruitcake release party ! xx
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user7: CHARLES AND TRAVIS IN ONE PLACE ALERT
user8: so does this mean we can get a y/n and charles appearance on the new heights podcast?
charles_leclerc: do you think people could tell i was about to pass out while playing the piano?
yourusername: definitely not !
maxverstappen1: yes we could
charles_leclerc: WHAT I WAS JUST NERVOUS AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LET Y/N DOWN AND TAYLOR WAS THERE SO I DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS MYSELF
maxverstappen1: okay i didn't need the pity party. you were good, unfortunately very good. i need to learn piano now. i have to beat you in everything
yourusername: maybe you should've forgone the santa suit... it was quite warm
charles_leclerc: but you wanna be mrs claus ? (i also have a big north pole lol)
alexalbon: ENOUGH
user9: wait so like, was the grid at the release party?
user10: based on most of their instagram stories, and y/n's stories i'm gonna say yes
taylorswift: i had so much fun !! i love fruitcake and tell charlie his piano was great
charles_leclerc: SUCK ON THAT @maxverstappen1
taylorswift: ?
charles_leclerc: we've got bad blood taylor's version featuring kendrick lamar?
taylorswift: i see
maxverstappen1: he's the reason we can't have nice things
user11: someone free taylor from lestappen
killatrav: okay. the girls throw the best parties. esteban and pierre i own your team now, you guys gotta get better at drinking
yourusername: careful travis they're french ...
killtrav: is your boyfriend not also french? he's like a puppy dog
yourusername: HE'S MONAGASQUE
charles_leclerc: i am NOT french
estebanocon: i only threw up because eggnog is not what you guys advertise it to be
pierregasly: i'm not gonna lie i don't remember even seeing you last night
user12: okay so get invited to one of these parties is definitely on the bucket list now
charles_leclerc
liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,922,033 others
tagged: yourusername, killatrav
charles_leclerc: charles and travis 🤝 just happy we got a chance
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user13: if he's not like them i don't want it
user14: if santa doesn't pull through with a man like them under my tree this year ... imma be mad
killatrav: travis and charles 🤝 having girlfriends that make us giggle and swing our feet
charles_leclerc: does the honeymoon phase ever finish?
killtrav: well it definitely hasn't for me
maxverstappen1: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
alexalbon: say it ain't so
yourusername: haters gonna hate 😎
alexalbon: he is so happy it is bordering on insufferable
charles_leclerc: alex :(
alexalbon: i am very happy for you charlie and lily is definitely very happy for you, but if you talk to me for the TWELVE HOUR flight to brazil again i will terminate this friendship
killtrav: i am so confused
user15: poor travis and taylor are just being exposed to the grid chaos
yourusername: you posting this like i'm not the luckiest girl in the world
charles_leclerc: i just love you so much and i'm so glad you shortlisted me for your music video
yourusername: yeah spolier alert there was no shortlist. i wanted you and i didn't want to get out right rejected...
charles_leclerc: as if i would reject any offer from you i think i would've torn down maranello if they said i wasn't allowed to be in it
scuderiaferrari: ?
user16: i'm so obsessed with how much charles has embraced the wag life
user17: can't believe i get to live a life where i can bop along to music about how good in bed charles leclerc is
user18: they better not break up cause i may be tifosi but i shall be streaming
yourusername added to their story
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: santa doesn't know you like i do baby
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user21: all i want for christmas is even more y/n and charles content
user22: mum and dad have kept us fed over the winter break
user23: i'm not ready for them to be separated when the season starts again :(
charles_leclerc: not to be that person but we're so hot
yourusername: no, you should say it louder
charles_leclerc: WE'RE HOT
maxverstappen1: can you people knock it off or we're not coming to your christmas party
yourusername: ERM ??? 🫤
alexalbon: you people have single handedly made me the grinch
yourusername: but but but ??? you all begged for an invite :(
charles_leclerc: FAKE and that's why you're all getting coal from us
user24: my god i am so lonely
user25: if i don't wake up to a charles shape gift under my tree i will not make it to next christmas
danielricciardo: just to be sure, this party is not going to be filmed and turned into a music video?
yourusername: it's just an old-fashioned shin dig girly don't worry
yourusername: or by the tone of this, should i be worried?
danielricciardo: no!
charles_leclerc: do NOT ruin my home please
danielricciardo: no promises xoxoxo
user26: y/n might want to film the party but I NEED THE FOOTAGE
user27: @tedkravitz boy do i have a gig for you
danielricciardo
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,093,445 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
danielricciardo: do NOT drink the eggnog at a y/n christmas party this is a public safety announcement
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user28: i would commit unspeakable crimes to be present here
yourusername: if you weren't a fake fan you would've listened to fruitcake and would know we spike the eggnog 🤷♀️
danielricciardo: i am a fan !!!!!!!!!
yourusername: you asked me and yuki how we escaped the north pole last night
yukitsunoda0511: don't think i've forgotten about that, say goodbye to a tow in quali old man
danielricciardo: IT WAS A COMPLIMENT ELVES ARE CUTE?
charles_leclerc: don't call my girlfriend cute that's my job 🤨
danielricciardo: do you people ever let me live? i am battling a hangover like no other please stop shouting at me
charles_leclerc: maybe someone of your old age should manage his drink better
danielricciardo: THAT'S IT I'M GOING
yourusername: thanks we did actually want the kitchen floor back
user29: daniel calling y/n and yuki elves kills me
yourusername: we're not elf height we're cutie patootie height 💅
yukitsunoda0511: amen
alexalbon: i will endure the torture because that was fucking insane
maxverstappen1: @yourusername you're in charge of all after parties now sorry
yourusername: let charlie win and you got a deal
maxverstappen1: i'd rather drink my gin and tonic in a ditch than let that happen
charles_leclerc: BOOO
alexalbon: cocktail recipe immediately @yourusername
yourusername: you've changed your tune ?
alexalbon: i had fun, sue me. plus i am actually happy for charlie but please no more singing about his dick
yourusername: i can't make any promises
charles_leclerc: and there's plenty of material to get the creative juices flowing
alexalbon: FUCK OFF
maxverstappen1: FUCK OFF
user30: the grid will never know peace, not even at christmas time
charles_leclerc
liked by taylorswift, yourusername and 1,893,446 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: nothing like the holidays with the love of your life
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user35: how down bad all men should be
yourusername: best holidays ever !!!! love you charlie xx
charles_leclerc: my christmas wish last year came true, and now you're stuck with me
yourusername: no one i would rather be stuck with
charles_leclerc: I LOVE YOU
yourusername: I LOVE YOU MORE
user36: good thing i got presents this year or the sheer sight of this couple would make me so jealous i would spontaneously combust
user37: real
landonorris: you will see to the crime of the stupid amount of mistletoe you had up at that damn party
charles_leclerc: have you seen y/n? (don't answer that) obviously i want any excuse to kiss her
landonorris: i DON'T CARE I HAD TO KISS DANIEL FIVE TIMES I WILL NEVER RECOVER
danielricciardo: i know you enjoyed baby
landonorris: @yourusername @charles_leclerc YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS
yourusername: idk it looked like you enjoyed it to me
landonorris: you WATCHED?
yourusername: i filmed it :) top blackmail material, don't crash into charlie OR ELSE
charles_leclerc: thanks babe
landonorris: @georgerussell63 get the gdpa to intervene nOW
georgerussell63: eh i'm quite entertained
user38: this really is the giving season huh
arthurleclerc: do i mean nothing to you?
charles_leclerc: you're nowhere near as cute as y/n 🤷♀️
yourusername: awwwww charlie
arthurleclerc: EXCUSE ME? WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?
user39: charles is really ride or die lol
note: have a very merry christmas! i hope you guys all have a great holiday season and enjoy this quick one! i've been super busy but wanted to give you all a lil christmas treat - much love xx
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc
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𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨
❝secrets i have held in my heart, are harder to hide than i thought; maybe i just wanna be yours.❞
♡ gojo satoru ♡
a/n: writing another gojo smut since the last one i wrote of him flopped. 😞💔
reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3
(also, a lot of you have been dming me and it's honestly so sweet, shoot me a message anytime :D)
content: gojo satoru x fem!reader, reader is extremely horny lol (hypersexual??), sassy gojo (he's a little dick sometimes), fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, not edited.
...
"well, you look like shit." gojo snorted, entering your dorm room as you woke up from your short-lived night's sleep. you let out a yawn, doing that weird whole body shaking thing before sitting up; rubbing your eyes to see your best friend more clearly.
he looked equally worse as you, dark eye bags, chapped lips, arms crossed over his chest along with a scowl painted on his lips.
"thanks, you don't look any less shitty yourself." you snickered, leaning against the headboard as you watched him roll his eyes before making his way towards your bed; sitting on the edge.
"i wonder why." the white haired male grumbled, a small glare thrown at your direction.
"hmm? i don't know what you're talking about." you innocently batted your eyes, making him narrow his eyes.
"i would've been done studying by two in the morning if you would've stopped blowing up my phone every two seconds about how roughly fucking me would help you memorize the formulas better." gojo complained, making you bite back a laugh.
"well, you could've just go on dnd or block me." you shrugged, indirectly calling him a dumbass.
"you threatened to kill yourself if i did that."
"oh."
"anyways, what time did you stop studying and hit the lights?" gojo changed the topic, examining your tired face.
"i don't know, i think five-thirty?" you tried to think hard, but, recently all these nights where you pulled all-nighters have been a blur.
"not bad, i slept around that time too." he sighed, rubbing his temples while wincing in pain.
"hurts?" you asked, hearing him hum in response.
"yeah, i took painkillers before getting here but it's not really helping." gojo groaned before looking at you through half-lidded eyes, his words making you pout.
"well, i can't really help you with that. but, i can offer you some mind-blowing head instead." a smirk tugged on your lips as you threw a wink at him, making gojo look at you with an unamused look.
"this fucking early in the morning too? god, it's barely seven in the morning." he stared at you in disbelief, making you chuckle.
"jeez, i'm kidding. no need to act like you got a stick up your ass all the time." you stretched, while gojo scrolled on his phone through social media along with his emails.
"you gonna do final revisions on the way to campus?" he asked you with curious eyes, making you let out a hysteric laugh.
"fuck no, i stayed up till five something reading and writing notes until my fingers went numb. i couldn't even fuck myself to sleep because of the pain." you casually answered, making gojo's nose scrunch up in distaste.
"fucking hell, y/n, you're filthy." gojo commented, making you laugh before you crawled towards him, sitting on his lap as you pinched his cheeks.
"but you love me." you cooed, squishing his cheeks into a pout as he let you. gojo's arms instinctively were wrapped around your waist to make sure that you don't fall and crack your head open.
"unfortunately." he sighed.
this is how it has always been for you and gojo, his inevitable torture starting from when you both were in diapers. both of your families were extremely close, your mother being high school besties with his mom.
of course, both women decided to continue this legacy by making sure that their children grew up together. so, you've been stuck to gojo by the hip.
gojo's family was extremely wealthy, like filthy rich. his father owned one of the biggest company in all of japan. your parents, however, owned a humble sushi place in kyoto.
nonetheless, gojo never looked down on you or treated you like you were some ant that could be stepped on. he was like your protective shadow, scolding you when you acted out, being there to comfort you when you were down or struggling, and he dealt with all your stupid jokes.
as you both grew older, puberty hit like a truck.
no, not even a truck; like a fucking tsunami.
your body matured and your hormones went absolutely wild. you don't know what the hell happened, but you craved for sexual pleasure so often. after discovering the magic of masturbation, you did the act almost religiously.
your jokes were pure filth, full of suggestive language. it was like the only thing that circled your mind was dick, dick, dick, sex, sex, cum, cum.
no, quite literally.
you were horny almost 24/7 for some unknown reason.
oh, and you were still a virgin. yeah, shocking.
your situation wasn't helped after realizing how fucking hot your best friend became either. gojo began to hit the gym, basically turning into a gym rat in high school as you accompanied him after school every day before heading home together. he became beefy and so fucking tall, nearly 6'4ft.
no wonder why girls in high school chased him like he was the jackpot. well, they still do now that you both attended college.
though he was a pretty face, gojo was smart as hell. well, the both of you are; it was kinda like a mutual academic rivalry you both had. of course, it was all for shits and giggles.
he was a math nerd, meanwhile, you hated the subject with a burning passion. you liked english better, as your reading and writing skills were beyond talented. so, you and gojo made a fair deal, he'd help you with your math homework while you'd help him with english.
sometimes you both would do each others homework when it was time to cram study for other subjects. the subject you both have a common liking towards was science.
people sometimes mistakenly thought that you and the snow haired male were a couple. the truth is, you both were just super close best friends. gojo got used to your dirty jokes and remarks, no longer affected by them, as it was like common language for him now.
"can you eat the damn banana like a normal person for once?"
"why? you wish i was deepthroating the banana in your pants instead?"
"y/n, which outfit looks better? the first or second one?"
"neither, stay naked and let me smash, pleaseee."
"oh my god!! you look so handsome satoru, i'm literally gonna cum on your face."
"look at you wearing that tight black compression shirt, you slut!"
"put on a shirt and cover those tits before i suck them, toru!"
"y/n, i'm at that one plushie store downtown and there's like a bunch of sanrio shit. imma get that one hello kitty headband you were looking last night for you."
"oh my god?? hello, what the fuck, i'm literally gonna let you say hello to my kitty, toru. ugh, i love you so much."
"do you need help on doing your sit-ups? i could hold your legs down."
"yeah, but don't come too close or else my pussy is gonna start pulsating your name in morse code."
"i don't know what to get you for christmas, y/n."
"how about you lathered up in coconut oil and wrapped in a cute pink coqutte bow under my tree?"
"you horny fuck, oh my god."
"you idiot! i don't care if they taste bad, i told you to suck on those cough drops to help you soothe your throat."
"but i'd rather suck your balls, satoru."
"for the love of god, seek therapy."
"sex therapy with you?"
"you gonna stay on me forever or get ready for class before we're late for our last final exam?" gojo playfully pinched your side, making you yelp as you rubbed the site.
"jerk, i was thinking about how this is the perfect position for me to cockwarm you." you said, earning a flick to the forehead.
"you got ten minutes or i'm leaving you." gojo ignored your whines, standing up with you still clung onto him like a koala.
"satoruuu, i don't wanna go! they're gonna brutally torture me for the next hour based on organic chemistry." you dramatically cried into the crook of his neck.
"the school is gonna kick us out if we don't take this exam, y/n. it's worth like sixty-five percent of our final semester grade. besides, we both studied hard for this. you'll be okay." he rubbed your back comfortingly, making you pull away with a huff.
"you have enough money to buy the entire university, satoru."
"my dad is gonna burn me alive, y/n."
"okay, fine! i have a better solution. how about we start an onlyfans? you know, we both could occasionally do solos or you know... fuck each other too! like-"
"no."
"satoru!! hear me out." you tried to reason, but gojo knew it was all bluffing and you just wanted to stall. so, he forced you down from his hold, making you stand on your feet as you looked at him with a glare.
"ten minutes, you big baby." gojo said before leaving your room.
---
it felt like you just survived a war, coming back home with nothing but trauma written all over your face.
what the fuck was that exam?
all those hours of studying this entire week, sleepless nights, missing meals... all gone to waste?
you punched in your lock combination on the small keypad outside your dorm room, hearing the small beep as the door unlocked. with a twist of the knob, you opened the door and entered. you saw the familiar pair of shoes by your door, not paying much mind to it as you kicked your own shoes off to the side.
you saw gojo leisurely laying on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.
"when did you get here? the exam didn't start until eight." you asked, your voice barely audible from how exhausted you were, physically and mentally.
"like fifteen minutes ago. my proctor started the exam like twenty minutes early by accident, since the clock in that room was broken." he explained, making you nod your head as you walked to the couch.
you tapped his long legs, ushering him to bend them so that you had space to sit. a moment of silence graced the atmosphere, neither of you uttering a single word.
"it was shit." you both blurted out at the same time, looking at each other with equal shock.
"you too?!"
"fuck yeah. i mean like, what kind of formulas were those?!"
"i know right?? it was like another language, completely different from the review packets."
"man, i should've just given up and fucked myself to sleep. at least, i'd get some good sleep."
"bro, you and fucking yourself. one night without having your fingers inside your pussy won't kill you." gojo sat up, shaking his head in disbelief that your concern was something so ridiculous.
"uh, yeah it will since you're clearly depriving me of your dick." you retorted, making him roll his eyes.
"whatever. what are you gonna do now?" he asked, leaning towards the small table to grab his water bottle, opening it to take a sip.
"have rough kinky sex with you." the words casually flew out of your mouth, catching the snowy haired male off guard as he choked on his water.
"i'm being serious!" he said in between his coughs, watching your laugh at his reaction.
"i'm gonna sleep, what else, idiot? i need my brain to rest and recover from all that trauma. besides, we do this every time when it's finals season, satoru. you got amnesia or something?" you joked, patting his back to help him stop coughing.
"sorry, my brain is malfunctioning. my dorm or yours?" gojo asked after clearing his throat.
"since you're already here, let's sleep in mine. i'm gonna go change into something more comfortable. if you wanna change out of those, there's a spare pair of your sweats and t-shirt in my closet." you informed him, making him nod as you both got up and headed towards your bedroom. you grabbed your clothes and headed into the bathroom to freshen up and change into them, giving up your bedroom to have gojo change.
after finishing up, you walked back into your room, seeing gojo already inside your bed; looking like he was half dead. you snorted, walking over to the other side before placing yourself on the empty spot.
"don't hog the blanket, or else i'll kill you."
"no promises."
with that being said, you scooted closer to gojo, in need of feeling his body's warmth against you. it wasn't anything new, this was sort of a tradition you guys did after finals week was over. you both slept for hours together.
you threw your legs over his waist, tugging onto gojo's shirt as he laid down while facing the ceiling.
"hold me, 'toru." you mumbled, your movements slightly bringing him back to life. gojo groaned in annoyance, turning his body to now face you as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest.
"better?" he spoke into your hair, which was slightly tickling his nose. you nodded your head, your cheek pressed against his chest as you inhaled his scent.
gojo always smelled sweet with a mixture of expensive cologne.
a few minutes passed, and you could hear his heartbeat slowing down, indicating that he was falling asleep.
"hey, you awake?" you poked his cheek, making his eyebrows furrow.
"no." gojo murmured, eyes still closed.
"you know, satoru, if you jerk off before going to sleep then your sleep is gonna be like ten times better. science says it helps release stress and improves blood flow. if you want, i can jerk-"
"go to sleep, y/n." gojo sternly cut you off along with your wonderful visual of how you'd jerk him off, giving your thigh a light smack before resting his hand there. you let out a small whine, playfully biting his cheek.
you saw gojo's eyes scrunch, making you sigh.
"sorry." you mumbled to yourself, as gojo most likely didn't hear you since it seemed like he was already asleep. you pressed a small kiss on the spot you bit before snuggling into his neck. your arms and legs tightly wrapped around his body, fingers finding home between his snowy locks.
"it's okay." was the last thing you heard before you were no longer able to resist sleep.
---
gojo stirred in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words as he felt the constant buzzing noise vibrating on the bed. he painfully opened one eye, half-lidded, as he realized you were still tightly tucked way in his arms. you snored softly against his chest, lips pouted, making him tempted to kiss you.
the snow hair male tried to find the source of the buzzing sound, grabbing a hold of his phone only to see that his phone was dead. gojo's eyebrows furrowed in confusion 'cause then what the hell is it?
his eyes landed on your phone which was shoved under your back and gojo momentarily saw your screen flicker open. bingo! it was your phone that was annoyingly going off.
gojo grabbed your phone, deciding to silence it for you, even though you were passed out like you're dead; so you most likely didn't hear it anyways. but, he was a light sleeper and your stupid phone was keeping him awake.
as the screen flickered open again, gojo saw that you had well over a thousand notifications. his eyes widened, you were never the type to be social. of course, you weren't a loner or something of that sort; you had friends whom were also gojo's friends.
but, the both of you kept your friend groups small and restricted so avoid any unnecessary drama.
"tumblr?" gojo mumbled under his breath, knowing that it wasn't his place to snoop around. but, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. the notifications were all indicating that people hearted a post you made along with commenting hearts and all that shit.
a weird feeling bubbled inside him, something in between the lines of possessiveness and anger.
so, he decided to investigate, knowing that it was wrong but he couldn't help himself. it was convenient that his face id was added onto your phone, just like how yours was added onto his. after unlocking your phone, he found the tumblr app.
at first, gojo thought it was a dating website as it sounded very familiar to tinder. but, he would soon be proven wrong as he saw a feed full of different blogs and writing.
gojo's curiosity ran wild, silently exploring the new waters he was introduced to. he clicked on your notifications list which was flooded with heart and comments.
not any comments, but horrendously down bad thirsty comments.
sanemiswh0re: ahhh author!! i'm literally running laps, this was so good!
localbbg: this was pure filth and i loved every word of it!
cherrytones: hello?? i need a toru in my life! a tear just ran down my thigh.
yourhotgf: bro wtf, white haired men 🔛🔝 of me!! toru with that big dick energy?? lord, i need him in me so bad.
gojo's eyes widened at the comments while he scrolled. toru? it's a silly little nickname you've been calling him ever since you were kids. since when did you write stories? and... they were about him too?
he clicked on one of the comments which led him to said story, making him smirk as the naughty photo used in the border was enough to give him an idea. gojo settled in bed comfortable, with you still wrapped around him, without a fucking clue of what that menace just found.
"jesus.." gojo breathed out in shock, reading the pure filth you wrote of him and the 'y/n' used in the story, but he assumed that she was based off of you. it was no use denying it, the male character toru resembled too much of his personality and the female character y/n resembled you a lot too.
he wasn't even halfway done yet, but it seemed like you wrote an entire hour long porn script. your writing was so descriptive, describing the sex scenes in such a pornographic yet sensual way. gojo would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart flutter and cock throb.
were your fantasies of him always this dirty?
did you always want to be manhandled by him? praised and teased? being slutted out? a mix of a gentle dom that was a little witty?
god, where did you hide all of this?
of course, you were never ashamed of your vulgar comments and jokes that you threw at him. but, gojo always brushed them off because he grew accustomed to it. however, this was completely new to him.
your smutty writing of him and you made him feel hot and bothered. he knew you were dirty, but not this dirty.
you began to wiggle in his arms, stirring awake as you made a few groaning sounds.
"hmm, time... toru." you groggily asked, eyes still shut as you waited for a response.
"it's 8:23." gojo replied, still not bothered to place your phone back to where he found it. instead, he continued to surf through your dashboard to which he found more of these smut of him.
"why are you awake so soon?" you yawned, cracking an eye open only to wince from the sudden light exposure.
"had a leg cramp." he lied, making you grimace.
"ouch, you should've waken me up then." you commented, your hand find his as you played with his really long and thick fingers. it was a habit to toy around with the rings that wrapped around them.
"you looked too peaceful to disturb. besides, i found something to read in order to kill time." gojo boldly said, making you hum in amusement.
"oh? and since when have you been a bookworm? please, do enlighten me." you teased, making him chuckle. a smirk etched onto his lips, trying to collect his words before attempting to send you into cardiac arrest.
"it's actually very interesting, i have to say. i never thought i'd be into erotic romance." he started out, and the very unexpected words leaving his mouth made your heart pound inside your chest.
he was reading that shit besides you and you had no clue?
"jeez, and you call me a horny dog?" you scoffed.
"well, maybe it's torusluvr who's the real horny dog." he dropped the bomb, making your heart stop it's usual cardiac rhythm as you heard your tumblr account's username. you shot awake from bed, eyes meeting his playful ones as the color drained from you face.
"what? how did you-" you were a stammering and confusing mess, searching for your phone until you looked at his hand.
"looking for this?" gojo waved your phone, the screen on full blast lighting and filled with words of nothing but sex.
"give me my phone back, satoru." you panicked, trying to grab your phone from his grasp. but, gojo's body structure was stronger, bulkier and taller than yours; so you struggled.
however, gojo took your struggle as a form of amusement. he noticed how your face was covered in a blush from being caught red-handed, movements so shaky and alarmed.
it was kind of cute.
"nuh uh." gojo suddenly tossed your phone to the side before grabbing both of your hands. a yelp escaped from your lips as you were pinned to the bed in mere seconds, gojo's body hovering above yours as he slotted himself between your legs.
you gulped nervously, your cheeks growing warmer as it suddenly felt too embarrassing to look at gojo in the eyes. you were a mere ant compared to his body, his stature standing at six feet four inches, and his body was beefy as hell yet so soft to the touch.
"does this turn you on, y/n? hm? being manhandled by someone who's twice your size." the white haired male teased, his husky voice due to his previous slumber sent heat waves to your cunt.
"satoru-"
your words were cut short as gojo leaned closer to you, grinding his hard on against your throbbing cunt, making you gasp.
"satoru? what happened to toru?" he whispered, shoving his face into the crook of your neck, taking a minute to inhale the scent of your perfume which has been permanently engraved into his senses and brain.
"stop joking around, we're friends... best friends." you tried to reason, watching his eyes darken.
"oh? and do all best friends write porn worthy shit about each other?" gojo snickered, pressing soft kisses along your jaw. your throat went dry, words getting stuck.
"i guess we can't be best friends anymore 'cause i wanna recreate all that shit that i read— with you." a smirk tugged on his lips and before you could even process what the hell was about to go down, you let out a small whimper after feeling him bite down on your collarbone before peppering soft kisses on the abused skin afterwards.
"toru... please." you desperately begged, needing some kind of friction between you and him to relieve the ache between your thighs.
"i bet if i touch that cute little pussy of yours, my fingers are gonna come out glossy wet, yeah? should we test it out, y/n?" gojo continued to pester you with his teasing remarks, making you blush further at them as you were to embarrassed to have him find out about the wet patch that was created on your panties by now.
you shyly nodded but this wasn't enough for gojo to take for an answer. you felt a small pinch on the plush flesh of your thigh, making you wince.
"use your words, y/n. you didn't shy out when you were right all that stuff about me and you." he scoffed, making you whine in embarrassment.
"touch me, toru... i need to feel your fingers." your voice was meek, throat getting dry as you desperately bucked your hips upwards. gojo cocked an eyebrow, watching your body squirm underneath him in amusement.
"so needy." gojo laughed, rubbing your thighs before giving it a small squeeze. your body grew warm and your face flushed red from his touch. you've fantasized about this moment for so long and now it was finally happening.
gojo's fingers hooked on the waistband of your shorts about to pull them down until your hand came down to stop his movement. he was a little confused and felt a little guilty because he didn't know if he was moving too fast for you or made you uncomfortable.
"you okay?" gojo asked with genuine concern washed on his face. you bit down on your lips, averting your gaze from his.
"i'm not wearing any lace and my panties aren't even matching with my bra." you said in a little panicked voice. gojo was a handsome jerk and this most definitely wasn't his first time sleeping with someone.
you saw his hookups, they were always the prettiest of the prettiest girls. they looked like polished gems, wearing fancy feminine clothes in contrast with your hobo looking outfits, hair and nails were always done... they were like runway models.
you couldn't help but feel a little insecure. you knew that satoru was different, but that small part of you still felt like perhaps this was still some kind of cruel joke the universe was playing on you.
the books you read always gave the female lead a perfect body free of blemishes, wearing expensive and sexy matching undergarments and so much more.
while here you are with unmatched undergarments, a completely inexperienced virgin who only knew how to shamelessly masturbate to find relief while fantasizing about her best friend.
"hm? so what? they're coming off anyways, princess." gojo reasurred you with a soft smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss on your lips. without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around his neck, indulging in the sweet taste of his lips. he used the strawberry carmex lipbalm religiously.
the kiss was slightly messy, as you were still a little inexperienced in this area as well. you can't remember the last time you last made out with someone, so your teeth clashed with his here and there. but, gojo never complained, he drank in your mistakes and guided you with the fluid movement of his lips and tongue.
the white haired male gave your bottom lip a gentle bite, one of his hands grabbing your jaw to keep your head in place while his other hand pulled down your shorts. gojo threw the annoying article of clothing on the floor, pulling away as a string of saliva connected the both of you.
he looked down and if it was possible to get any harder than how hard he was right now, gojo thought he might've exploded already. you laid under him like a pretty gem, face flushed and your lips swollen as you panted a little from the breathless kiss. a small grin tugged on his lips, the hand grabbing onto your jaw now coming to stroke your cheek.
"just relax for me, princess. let me show you just how much better reality is than your little stories." gojo whispered, leaving open mouthed kisses on your jaw that were leading south until he was peppering kisses on your neck.
you decided to take a leap and pull your t-shirt off, catching gojo off-guard by your sudden eagerness. a genuine smile was forming on his lips at how adorable you looked. your cotton panties had a strawberry pattern on it with a tiny pink bow on the front and your bra was a solid blue color; both of which satoru is well familiar with as the two of you did your laundry together.
"stop staring." you embarrassingly pouted, making him let a raspy chuckle escape his lips.
"can't help it when my best friend is this cute." he teased, pinching your cheek which made you yelp.
"shut up and go back to what you were doing." you nagged, making him cock an eyebrow.
"oh? eager are we?" gojo hummed, skillful fingers whisking your bra off in a matter of seconds, your tits spilling out of the cups that held them. you averted your gaze from him after seeing how gojo's eyes widened, feeling your face grow hotter by the second.
"look at me, y/n."
"no."
"look at me."
"eat my ass."
"i will."
"satoru!" you gasped, finally looking at him as his response caught your attention. however, gojo didn't pay too much mind to it as brought a hand down to fondle your tits, watching how you bit your lips at the sudden squeeze.
"don't look away from me, baby. you're such a pretty girl, so let me admire you for a bit, yeah?" with that being said, gojo latched his lips onto on of your nipples, making you whimper.
"shit.." you moaned, feeling the tip of his tongue flicking the sensitive swollen bud. he peered up to meet your eyes, looking so fucking pretty even with a mouthful of your tits. his stupidly charming blue eyes staring into your half-lidded eyes. you brought to stroke his cheek as he continued to suckle on your nipple.
"pretty boy." you cooed, feeling his hand kneed the plush flesh of your thighs before giving it a little spank, making you squeal. being the tease he is, he gave your nipple a gentle bite before releasing the bud with a 'pop' sound.
"you wore my favorite panties." gojo complimented, making you scoff.
"stop saying that to make me feel better about my mix-matched undergarments." you rolled your eyes.
"you could think that my words are lies but it still won't change the fact that i jerked off with those same panties." he shamelessly shrugged after revealing such a dirty secret, making your mouth gape open.
"huh?!" you were at a loss for words, but, for some reason it made your pussy throb at the thought of your hot best friend masturbating to the thought of you.
even if he used your panties.
"mhm... now, let's put them to some use again." gojo pulled down his shorts along with his boxers, completely disposing them to the floor to meet with the rest of your clothes.
your eyes shamelessly came in contact with his cock and you couldn't help but harshly gulp. gojo was fucking hung, not lacking in any area. his dick had to be at least a good seven or eight inches long, a single vein running on the side of the shaft, with a pretty blush pink tip that was angrily leaking with precum.
"feel a little overwhelmed, princess?" gojo sensed your shock, and you truthfully nodded.
"y-yeah... i never-"
"wait, you're still a virgin, y/n?" he genuinely asked and you thinned your lips before nodding. gojo gasped, slapping a hand on his mouth.
"what the fuck? and you wrote all of that with no experience??" gojo was truly amazed as you shyed away from his eyes.
"it's okay if you don't wanna, you know." your throat went dry, a little disappointed that it would end this way.
"fuck you? of course i wanna fuck you, princess. but, are you sure you're okay with me taking your virginity? we could stop and forget about it if you want to, no pressure." he asked in a soft tone, rubbing your hips in a comforting way.
"yeah, i want you to take it, toru. i trust you." you gave him a girlish smile, making his heart jump.
"okay then. i'm gonna prep you real good to make sure it doesn't hurt as much." gojo pressed a tender kiss on your lips. he stroked his cock a few times as a husky groan left his lips, making him sound so sexy.
gojo hooked two fingers to the side of your panties and lifted them up before sliding his cock inside the fabric. you moaned at the feeling of his warm and hard cock sliding past your folds, his wet tip nudging and coating your clit with his precum.
"fuck. you're so wet, baby." gojo breathed out, leaning down to suck on your tits as he continued to thurst his hips back and forth between your folds. your juices lubricated his cock and the stimulation provided to your clit with every nudge of his tip made your eyes roll back.
"oh my god... just like that, toru. please!" you begged, your hand finding purchase to his snowy locks as you pushed his face further to your tits, as he licked and sucked your nipples. gojo's hips never faltered, continuing to glide his thick dick between your slit, feeling your clit throb.
you felt your orgasm building up, making your breath hitch as you whimpered. after a few more thrusts, you gushed on top of his cock as gojo cummed on your pussy, messily spreading both of your juices on your cunt.
gojo pulled his cock out of your panties, seeing how there's a wet patch on the front of your panties. he used his index finger to outline and rub your clit, making you shake from the overstimulation.
"w-wait." you tried to catch your breath but gojo wasn't gonna let you rest until you cummed on his tongue and fingers.
"nope, gotta stretch you out now, princess." he pinched your clit, making your thighs shut close from the sudden impact.
"you little shit." you threw him a playful glare, to which he only stuck his tongue out and use his strong hands to pry your legs open. this time, gojo wasn't going to be so patient. he pulled your panties down and threw them somewhere, his cerulean eyes fixated on your cunt.
"fucking hell." gojo swore under his breath and you couldn't help but think negatively.
"what's wrong?" you asked a little worried.
"i'm trying to hard to not cum again from just looking at this pretty pussy of yours." he groaned, using his thumbs to spread your lips apart, watching how it glistened with both your and his cum from the previous pantie fucking session.
you supported yourself on your elbow as your other free hand pulled his head forward, crashing your lips onto his. you kissed him with need, sucking on his bottom lip before giving it a bite. gojo began to slide his middle finger between your wet folds, making sure to rub your clit at a fast pace.
you moaned into his mouth, which gojo happily drank as he continued to give the neglected bud some attention. his finger stopped at your hole, experimentally shoving it in a little bit. you winced at the sudden intrusion as gojo's fingers were longer and thicker than yours.
"shh.. it's okay." gojo assured, pecking your lips as he entered his finger. your walls clamped down on his finger and gojo couldn't help but groan at how fucking tight you were.
"shit, gonna have to stretch you out quite a bit if this sweet pussy of yours is gonna take my cock. don't wanna rip you apart, baby." gojo chuckled, kissing your cheek before sliding his body down until his face was directly above your wet aching cunt.
gojo licked a fat stripe up your cunt, eyes rolling back at the taste of your pussy. you tasted so fucking good and he knew he'd get addicted. he slurped up all your juices, his tongue circling your clit before flicking it. you gripped onto his hair, pulling his mouth closer to your needy pussy as you basically humped his face.
gojo decided to add in another finger and a guttural moan escaped your throat, feeling him scissoring in the two thick digits in and out of your hole. your legs began to shake at the amount of pleasure you were getting from being tongue and finger fucked at the same time.
"fuck! augh~ i-i'm gonna c-cum!" you moaned as you felt the knot on your lower stomach tighten, your hole enclosing around his fingers as you creamed on gojo's fingers.
"that's it, there you go, princess." gojo praised, drinking up all your cum and licking you clean. your breathing was irregular as you were trying to calm down your erratic heartbeat.
gojo looked up at you with a slutty expression, his lips glossy with his own spit and your cum along with his chin dripping with your arousal.
"think you ready for me, baby?" he teased, placing a playful kiss on your clit before slotting himself between your legs. gojo's hard cock rest on your inner thigh, his eyes giving you a glimmer full of tease and play.
"i think that if you don't put your dick inside me within the next minute i'll kill myself." you dramatically responded, clearly not in the right state of mind due to pleasure fogging up your mind. gojo laughed at your words, leaning in to kiss you.
you could taste yourself on your tongue, but that did not bother you as much as having your throbbing hole empty.
"toruuu~ pleaseee." you whined, bucking your hip up to his in an attempt to get some friction to relieve the ache between your legs.
"my pretty girl needs something, hm?" he continued his banter, making you pout. you trailed your hand down and grabbed his cock, giving it a few pumps and watched your best friend crumble from your touch.
"need your cock inside me, toru." you said in a sultry voice, using the tip of dick to rub up and down your slit, parting your folds. gojo decided to stop being mean and help you, grabbing the base of his thick cock and rubbing it on your dripping wet cunt.
his tip now rested on top of your hole, his eyes looking up at you for further movement. you nodded your head, hands going to the side to grab the sheets.
"it's gonna really hurt bad for a minute but i promise it'll get better. i'll go slow and gentle, 'kay?" gojo offered you a soft smile as reassurance, to which you nodded, fully trusting him to take care of you.
"can you come closer." you asked in a meek voice, and gojo nodded as he leaned forwards so that you could wrap your arm around his neck.
gojo pushed in the fat bulbous tip of his cock, the stretch of something fatter and bigger than his and your fingers immediately burned.
you winced in pain, making him apologize and you told him that it was okay. gojo stayed like that for a little before thrusting the tip of his dick in and out of you to help you get a little used to the intrusion. it took every fiber of his body to have enough self-control to not shove the entire length of his cock inside your cunt and use it like his personal cocksleeve.
"look at me, y/n." he breathed out, making you open your eyes as your eyes were a little glossy. gojo never fucked a virgin before, and you were his best friend, so he wanted to be extra careful to not hurt you.
"i'm sorry." gojo quickly blurted out and you were confused for a quick minute, until you let out a pained cry as he shoved his entire cock inside your pussy inch by inch. he quickly latched his lips onto yours, swallowing your cries as his thumb came down to play with your clit.
your nails dug into his flesh, tears streaming down your face as the stretch of his cock was so painful.
"hurts so much, toru." you sniffled, mumbling your words on his lips.
"it would've hurt more if i went inch by inch slowly. you'll be okay, baby, trust me." with that being said, gojo slid his cock fully out, your pussy missing the feeling of being full. you mewled at the loss of contact, until he slammed his hips back into you, shoving his cock in one go.
within each slow thrust that he gave you, the pain faded away and you were soon drowning in pleasure. your cunt clamped down on his cock, the delicious feeling of the vein on his cock grazing against your wet walls made your eyes roll back.
"such a sweet pussy, fuck you're so tight." he grunted, grabbing your hips in place as his pace was unforgiving. his cock curved and kissed every inch inside your cunt, making you grip the sheets for dear life.
"satoru! i- fuck. wait, it's too much!" you cried out, your vision becoming blurry and you couldn't tell if it was from the tears that were forming due to overstimulation or from exhaustion.
maybe both.
"you could take it, princess. this pussy was fucking made for my cock." gojo moaned, grabbing the back of your knees before pushing them back to your head; placing you in a mating press.
this new angle gave him a better view of your tits bouncing with every thrust along with every ripple of your ass that came in contact with his heavy balls. your free hand came down to play with your clit as the other hand grabbed the back of his head to give him a sloppy kiss.
"feels so good, toru." you slurred, as his cock continued to kiss your cervix, bullying it's way in and out of your aching hole.
"gonna fuck you so dumb, till you become mine." he grinned against your skin, biting down as he placed a slap on your pussy, making you let out a cry.
"please, please, please! i-i'm gonna cum!" you stuttered out, feeling his balls hit against your ass while he continued to fuck your hole. your cunt began to convulse around his cock.
with another thrust, another rub on your clit and a gentle kiss on the side of your neck, you let out the most desperate and needy moan known to mankind as you began to cum around his cock.
gojo began to chase his own high, satisfied with the ring of white cream forming at the base of his cock, fucking you into over stimulation.
"f-fuck, gonna cum. god, i-i love you, y/n." he choked on his words, fingers clawing onto your hips as he gave you one final thrust before release thick wads of hot cum inside your hole.
gojo fell on top of your body with his arms supporting him a little to make sure he doesn't crush you with his weight, cock still lodged inside your wet cunt that was now filled with both his and your cum.
"i... fuck, i love you too, satoru." you whispered, swallowing thickly from how dry your throat was. you stroked his snowy white hair, the both of you breathing heavily as gojo continued to lazily fuck his cum into you.
"you know, i didn't expect you to be a virgin from how horny you are." gojo giggled, making you hum. he rested his head on your chest, playfully taking your nipple in his mouth as he sucked on it.
"well, i guess i got the real life experience now." you gave him a cheeky smile, leaning down to kiss his cheek.
"better than your little books?" his voice was a little muffled due to having a mouthful of your boobs in his mouth.
"mhm, i should write about it." you thought out loud, catching his attention.
"if you have writers block anytime else, just let me know and i'll help you. that's the least i could do for my dear girlfriend." gojo smirked, making you blush at the last word.
"oh? and since when have you declared that you're my boyfriend?" you joked, making him bite your nipple.
"since forever. you're mine now anyways." he pouted like a child, making you laugh.
"fine, so are you finally gonna let me stack donuts on top of it?" you said, making him look at you with a look of disbelief.
"maybe."
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#gojo satoru#gojo#gojo fluff#gojo imagines#gojo satoru scenario#gojo smut#satoru smut#gojo satoru fluff#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen smut
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NICE ERA -
[ ot7 x reader ] > pt one HERE
🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
yoongi: love you guys
jimin: are you killing yourself or something?
jk: 😧
yoongi: no i just love you guys
jk: i think yoongi is killing himself 😣
namjoon: here if you want to talk
yoongi: can i not just say i love you guys?
y/n: holy shit
yoongi r u killing urself????
yoongi: no i’m just spreading love
hobi: WOAH WHAT THE HELL
YOONGI ARE YOU DYING??
yoongi: no
jk: pls don’t kys yoongi 😢☹️💔
jin: yoongi is being more open with his feelings guys
hobi: his suicidal ones?
tae: pouring one out for you yoongi 🍾🥂
jin: no just his love for us all
isn’t that right yoongi??
yoongi: right
hobi: nothing about this is right
jk: i’m so scared rn 😓
y/n: is he drunk???
jin: on love!!
yoongi: on love.
namjoon: ew yoongi man what the fuck??
yoongi: we should all have a sleepover at my house like we did on kooks birthday
it will be fun
jimin: uhhhhhhhhhh
hobi: i’m literally shaking in fucking fear rn
yoongi: i’ll order food
tae: are you gonna poison it
yoongi: why would i do that?
tae: guys….
namjoon: in shock
y/n: jin done performed a lobotomy on yoongi ohmygod ☠️☠️☠️
jin: i did no such thing
jk: yoongi look at me this isn’t you
yoongi please
yoongi: hi jungkook
jk: MAKE IT STOP
GUYS MAKE IT STOP WHY IS HE BEING NICE MAKE IT STOP
namjoon: yoongi are you like actually ok?
yoongi: perfect
tae: have i shifted to an alternate universe
jk: shift
tae: night shift
jimin: you need one
tae: no i don’t
jimin: ok mr wire me 10k
tae: that was ages ago thank u very much
get over it
but guys tell him i have money tho lol
yoongi: jimin tae has money
tae: STOP iT???????
y/n: this is so unsettling
yoongi: isn’t it nice us all being together
having fun
and stuff
tae: what is stuff?
pls elaborate on stuff
jk: maybe joon gave yoongi cocaine
namjoon: shut up
tae: yoongi when you say stuff do you mean cocaine?
yoongi: love
us being together
friendship
we are friends
jk: yoongi can i be your best friend
yoongi: you are my best friend jungkook
jk: :D
yoongi: :D
jk: nvm this is really scary sorry
jk left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
tae: i agree
tae left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: i miss you all
let’s go out to eat tomorrow yeah?
i can pay idm
jin: YESS IM IN
jimin: ofc ur in
yoongi: guys let’s not argue
jimin: ewuuuuu shut up
namjoon added tae to “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
namjoon added jk to “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: welcome back ^^
jk: STOP
tae: i’m gonna throw up
jin: please accept the new yoongi
jk: NO
y/n: yoongi have you experienced any serious head trauma in the last 24 hours?
yoongi: no
hobi: i think he’s lying
yoongi: let’s all drink together today
jk: NONONONO
yoongi: oh do you have plans today jungkook?
we can move it to the weekend if you want
jk: girlfriendsaveme 😨
y/n: yoongi….
yoongi: yeah?
tae: yoongi send me a stack
jimin: LMAO u not getting that
yoongi: sure
jimin: fake
tae: HOLY SHIT YOONGI JUST SENT ME MONEY GUYS???
namjoon: oh my god….
hobi: he’s truly lost it
y/n: no fucking way
jimin: WAIT YOONGI ME NEXT HELLO????
yoongi: kk
jimin: I JUST GOT MONEY OHMGODDJJD
jin: isn’t this nice guys??
isn’t yoongi nice??
tae: yeah yoongi ur the best
jimin: love you yoongi
nicest man ever
yoongi: :3
namjoon: oh
yoongi: what can i say
jk: words probably
yoongi: i love my team
i love my crew
namjoon: oh wow
y/n: did he just….
hobi: MIN YOONGI JUST QUOTED SEVENTEEN?/!/£3
jimin: this is insane
jk: our biggest enemies in this life…
tae: WOWWWWWWWWW
jin: so proud!!
how mature how nice !!
jk: i’m going to commit murder and it’s going to be on myself
tae: i think i just threw up
hobi: yoongi you know woozi is in that group right?
yoongi: yes
jimin: and mingyu
the one she went a date with btw
y/n: stop
yoongi: i know.
hobi: he’s mad
yoongi: no i’m not
namjoon: it’s ok if you’re mad yoongi
y/n: no it’s not
jk: yoongi pls be mad
yoongi: i’m not mad
y/n: he’s not mad
jimin: normally he would be mad
yoongi: well i’m not mad so
jin: right he’s a changed man
namjoon: why?
yoongi: what
namjoon: why are you being nice
it’s like freaking us all out
jk: so much 😣
yoongi: i am nice normally
hobi: well no!
yoongi: i am nice
jimin: again no!!
tae: not even 24 hours ago yoongi told me to kms
yoongi: it was a joke
tae:
jimin: publicly executed is crazy
tae: right like omg?
jimin: understandable tho
tae: ok no
yoongi: it was a joke
tae: DIDN’T laugh
jk: yoongi punched me once
twice
three times actually
yoongi: as a joke
jin: guys let’s not focus on yoongi’s past but his present
and his present is nice!
jk: present
y/n: ?????
HELLO WHAT
YOONGI PUNCHED KOOK???
yoongi: as a joke
y/n: WHEN???? NAMJOON DID YOU KNOW?????????
namjoon: no actually i didn’t
jin: y/n joon ur in the past pls join us in the present
yoongi’s present
jk: i want the present
where is the present
yoongi: i’m nice
jk: i can travel to the present if need be
hobi: i’m confused
tae: in what context
hobi: this context ??
tae: oh ok
hobi: what other context is there
tae: sexually
namjoon: why is everything sexual with you?
hobi: sexuality by taemin lol
jimin: WHERE
tae: gay
jk: gay means happy
namjoon: guys
y/n: girls
jk: jimin are you not happy?
tae: jimin are you gay?
jimin: shut up
tae: me when taemin doesn’t call me back pt 407
jimin: why would taemin be calling you
tae: LOL
namjoon: guys enough
tae: one taemin mention he looses his mind you see that guys
namjoon: taehyung
tae: ok sorry
hobi: i’m still confused
NOT sexually
jk: i hope we are all gay (happy) toady!!
yoongi: me too
jimin: (kill yourself)
tae: (taemin)
jk: tae
min
tae min
tae in a min
tae in a minute
jimin x taehyung in a minute
y/n: fork in kitchen
hobi: oh ok
jimin: EW????
tae: that’s my name lol
WAIT WTF
ME AND HIM ????????
I KISS NO MEN
jk: one time you kissed me
tae: ON ACCIDENT
hobi: “accident”
yoongi type “accident”
yoongi: punching jungkook WAS an accident
tae: GUYS ME KISSING JUNGKOOK WAS FR AN ACCIDENT LIKE JOKE
jimin: yeah ok
namjoon: sighs
y/n: liar!!
tae: I WAS KNOCKING AT Y/NS DOOR CUZ WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT
AND WHEN THE DOOR OPEN I JUST WENT FOR THE KISS OK? EYES CLOSED AND EVERYTHING
jimin: sounds like he likes men to me
tae: NO
I DONT I JUST
STOP
DIDNT KNOW ITVWAS JUNGKOOK UNTIL I PULLED AWAY
jk: it’s ok my lips are very soft like that
y/n: fact
tae: NO ITS NOT OK
jin: wait that’s lowkey so crazy cuz how didn’t you notice the height difference
kook is like way taller than her
tae: thought she was wearing heels
y/n: it was 10 in the morning..
hobi: hold on
you didn’t know it was jungkook until you pulled away…
….
…….
……….
jungkook why did you let tae kiss you?
jk: i thought he was coming out to me
and i’m no homophobe !!!!
i didn’t know if that’s was a normal thing people did when they come out so i just let him do it
because like if i didn’t let him i didn’t want him to take that as me not supporting him yk?
i support him so yeah
idk
i was really confused
and no i didn’t kiss him back
i kinda just stood there
like
🧍🏻♂️
that and yeah
and he was all like “don’t be like that babe” and when he pulled away he screamed fell to his knees and then left
tbh i thought it was a dream
but i guess not
namjoon: how long did the kiss last?
tae: NAMJOON
namjoon: sorry just wanted to know
jk: maybe like 15 seconds
i think my lack of kissing back got to him
jimin: THATS CRAZY LMWKEORIFJFN
hobi: homophobe turned homosexual
tae: I AM NONE OF THOSE
jk: if it makes you feel better the kiss was really bad ur lips were really dry
tae: DON’T DESCRIBE MY LIPS SHUT UPLD
y/n: LMAO
tae: STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS LETS GO BSCK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC
YOONGI
YOONGI WYA
YOONGI HELLO
YOONGI
yoongi: i support you
hobi: #somuchsupoort
jimin: so brave
y/n: be who you are
namjoon: 👍🏼
jin: !!
jk: i support you for who you are❤️🧡🤍🩷❤️ (idk the flag )
y/n: lesbian
jk: really 😨
y/n: yeah
jk: but you kiss me 🙁
y/n: what
jk: i can be a woman for you
namjoon: okay !!!!!
enough sexuality talk
um yeah
yoongi say something
yoongi: i love you all
namjoon: omg…
jimin: ew man
hobi: gross
jk: i feel lightheaded
tae: gagging
y/n: 😟
jin: ok i’m not enjoying this as much as i thought i would i must say
yoongi: ?
jimin: ‘i must say’ 💀💀💀
hobi: bet he stroked his nonexistent beard while saying that
jimin: likeeee 😭😭😭
jin: can i live
there was literally nothing wrong with what i said
yoongi: right
jin: STOP
sorry force of habit
yoongi: don’t be upset with me jin
i’m sorry
y/n: yoongi
talk to us
normally
please
yoongi: i’m nice
y/n: i’m aware
yoongi: i’m being nicer
y/n: why
jin: wait omg let’s move on
isn’t it such a nice day lmao
yoongi: great weather we’re having
jin: summer sure is coming!!
hobi: ewww
y/n: this old people conversation ☠️☠️
jimin: imagine what their dms look like
jk: yikes
yoongi: jungkook
jk: sorry
yoongi im sorry
i actually meant
(Y)es (I) (K)now (E)very conversation they have is (S)uper cool
yikes
yoongi: thanks
just wanted to say i like your hair
jk: oh
jimin: his hair has been the same for like the last 5 months
yoongi: i know
just wanted him to know i like it because he’s my friend and he has nice hair
jk: wow
ok
is this real
wow
GUYS
yoongi likes my hair
y/n: wow
jk: YOONGI MY FRIEND
guys at first the new yoongi was really scary but now i think i like him
he’s my friend
pls be kind to MY FRIEND
MY BEST FRIEND
jimin: i still hate his yoongi tell me to kms right now before i do something crazy
tae: please
hobi: no joke
namjoon: yoongi i understand that you are being ‘nice’ now but i hope you don’t lose your true self and personality in this new chapter of your life
y/n: what joon said
jin: yoongi tell us what you like about ME next
ik it’s like really hard so i’ll let you pick 5
yoongi: jin i like
your
um
hold on can we talk about out contracts for one second
hobi: ohmugod guys he’s killing himself fr now
jimin: it was fun while it lasted bro
namjoon: sure
jin: NO WE CANT NO
yoongi: we’re all renewing right?
jk: yes bff ^^
jin: STOP
tae: yeah
hobi: yes sighs looks out window
jimin: thumbs up
namjoon: ofc??
y/n: lol i already renewed
yoongi: what
namjoon: are you thinking about now renewing??
jin: GUYS STOROORIRNRJIRJ
yoongi: y/n
you already renewed???
y/n: yeah?
yoongi: you’re not leaving
y/n: no…
yoongi: were you thinking about leaving?
y/n: no?
yoongi: so you didnt tell jin you wish nicer????
y/n: lol no
didn’t jin say that in this gc himself like a few weeks ago lmao?
jin left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: bye
going to find jin
yoongi left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
jk: um
yoongi joined “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: also jungkook you are not my best friend all of you can kill yourselves i’ve never prayed on anyone’s downfall as much as i do for all of yours i can’t believe this is my life ur all so annoying taehyung you WILL die the most painful death i promise you if any of you mention this day to anyone ever i will have your nudes on every website known to man and your address on twitter
fuck you all
yoongi left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
tae: does he know twitter is x now?
y/n: he didn’t mean that
he’s just a little upset
hobi: rip jin
jimin: how the hell does he have MY nudes
tae: didn’t know he was freaky like that 😈👅
hobi: bet you did
man kisser
tae: STOP
jk: best friend…
y/n: he still is your best friend kook he’s just upset at jin rn!!
jk: really?
y/n: yeah!!
jimin: she lying
y/n: SHUT UP
namjoon: so jin told yoongi that y/n was leaving the group because he’s mean
so to get her to say he was nice to us
jimin: glad your following joon
namjoon: ew
hobi: right?
namjoon: okay
cant believe we experienced that
let’s just sleep this one off boys
and girl
jimin: awoman to that
hobi: i have to smoke after this geez
jk: y/n pls hold me i’m traumatised
y/n: on my way
tae: ok but how did he add himself back into the gc tho…
—
didn’t even plan this but look jin did fr do this for HIMSELF LMAO
yoongi dumb as hell for not remembering this
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @batukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#btsxy/n#btsxyou#namjoon × reader#jin x reader#yoongi > reader#hoseok × reader#jimin x reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga reader#vx reader#hope x reader#hobix reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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Calling them by their name
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Pairings: Suna, Oikawa, Bokuto, Atsumu, Osamu, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, Kuroo X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Format: Headcanons
Warnings: Some cussing done by me, Suggestive in Iwaizumi's part
Word Count: 1.2K
A/n: It's been a while since I last wrote for Haikyuu so-
This TikTok compilation on YouTube
↳Yamaguchi
"Yamaguchi Tadashi!"
The man looks at you frightened, like he just saw a ghost or smthn lmao, making you Almost feel bad about this prank.
"What? What happened?" "Did you eat all the Ice cream I saved for myself?"
Lmao now he's scared af.
"I-I No I didn't! I put it in the freezer like you told me too!" "Then why isn't it there? You're telling me that the freezer ate it itself?" "IDK!" "Yamaguchi Tadashi!" "BABE STOP CALLING ME BY MY FULL NAME YOU'RE SCARING ME"
Runs to the store to buy you more Ice cream, little did he know you were the one who ate it, but you were too tired to go out so you used this method to make him go out and buy some instead lol
↳Tsukishima
"Tsukishima Kei!"
You really think He's gonna fall for that? huh
HUH!
He can clearly see how you're carefully watching him to see his reaction. He knows you're up to smthn immediately.
MF ignores you until you call him by his pet name😭
"Tsukishima Kei!" "..." "Tsukishima!" "..." "...Kei?" "..." "Kei Baby?" "What is it?"
"You're no fun" "And you're so dumb" "Hey!" "What? It rhymes! Who's not fun now?"
Just don't play pranks on this guy he will make you regret🤧
↳Suna
Much to your surprise, he has TikTok. Playing pranks on this guy is never successful cuz he's 10 steps ahead of you. Always.
Like when he finds you saying & doing smthn that sounds familiar to him he's like "Oh it's that prank I saw yesterday! She thinks she can fool me? That's cute. Let me mess with her a little bit"
"Suna Rintarou!" "F/n L/n!" "Suna Rintarou this is a serious matter!" "I'm listening F/n L/n!" "Suna why are you doing this?" "I don't know what you're talking about, L/n" "RIN-"
He will be the one who wins in the end. Always.
You sometimes find it tough to hold yourself back from punching him, but you're in love with his punky ass so you have to deal with it.
↳Atsumu
Cute whiney baby T^T
IDK why I find him so adorable lmao
You don't even have to call him by his full name to upset him. Saying his first name instead of pet names is enough to damage his heart lmao
"Atsumu?"
The guy looks like he's been shot in the heart LMFAO
"Why are ya callin me Atsumu?🥺" "Um... I mean, that's your name, right?" "No! 'm not Atsumu! 'm baby! or Sweety! or Hubby! Who do ya think yer callin Atsumu?"
He won't talk to you unless you make it up to him by extra kisses & smooches cause I'm not kidding, THE GUY IS HURT.
↳Osamu
Now he's a bit different from his twin. He will get irritated at first, but as the mf he is, he is gonna make you regret.
"Miya?"
He literally stops whatever he's doing, raises his head to stare at you with a blank expression. Maybe you can sense a sharp dagger stabbing your heart lmao.
"Did ya just call me Miya?" "... I..."
Ngl he looks scary af. Though his expression is blank I AM TELLING YOU.
Goes back to his business with the blank expression meanwhile ignoring the fuck out of you for the whole night.
Will not back down unless you're on you're knees begging him to pay attention to you lol
"'Samu!" "What's that sound I'm hearing? Never mind" "SAMU PLEASE I'M REALLY SORRY-"
↳Bokuto
His reaction is the same as 'Tsumu's but a bit tenser lmao.
"Bokuto?"
His head that was on your chest suddenly raises for you to meet his puppy eyes.
"Suger Cube? Why are you calling me by my name? Did I do something?🥺🥺🥺🥺"
INSTANT REGRET LMAO
He's innocence is enough for you to feel bad and suffocate him in your arms T^T
"No Mwah* Baby Mwah* I'm sorry it was Mwah mwah* just a prank!"
Just cuddle your baby owl a bit more he deserves it T^T
↳Oikawa
This mf deserves it.
Fuck him up.
Make him cry.
Choke him. Kill him. Slap him-
Ahem. Where were we?
So yeah basically he's a jerk and he deserves all the pranks in the world lmfao
"Oi Shittykawa! Didn't I tell you to clean your room? Why is it still a mess?"
MF IS STUNNED AF LMAO
"BABE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CALL ME THAT- sighs* Even my own S/o bullies me, what a cruel world indeed"
BITCH WHAT'S WITH THE FORMAL LANGUAGE
"Just shut up and do it already" "Babe you're so mean😪" "You deserve it YOU HANDSOME BASTARD-"
↳Iwaizumi
This guy is so good. So husband material. So hot. So much in shape. ANYWAYS-
He's surprised. Very surprised.
"Iwaizumi Hajime!"
Looks up from his phone immediately to meet your frustrated expression.
Frustrated by how hard you're trying to hold back your laugh.
"What is it honey?" "Did you forget to wash the dishes?" "No they're all done" "Then did you forget to take out the trash?" "Took it five hours ago" "Then what about... what about..."
Lmao now he gets what's going on.
A smirk appears on his face as he throws is phone on the couch and the next thing you know you're pinned to the cushions with him on top of you.
"What was that about? Are you trying to tease me or something?"
BRUH he looks so hot like this that you're literally unable to talk.
"I- W-Well... what if I am?"
Let's just say that you never dared to play pranks on him again🚶🏻♀️
↳Kenma
NOOOOOOOOO
Why you doing this to my cat boy lmao T^T
"Kozume?"
Pauses his game and turnes to look at you with a HUGE sulk on his face.
HE IS ANNOYED.
"Why did you-" "Kozume? Really?"
Lmao his pouty face makes you chuckle a bit
"That's your name isn't it?" "What happened to baby, sweetheart, love of my life..." "KENMA BABY I'M SORRY-"
God knows why he looks so cute when he's all sulky lmao
↳Kuroo
Lmao I can never bring myself to mess with him.
WHY IS GOJO'S VOICE PLAYING IN MY HEAD HELP-
Anyway he will get you back, and a thousand times harder.
It's like you called him by his full name once, and ever since then he keeps calling you by your last name lmao.
You come home after a long day? "Well look who it is! The one and only L/n!" "I FUCKING HATE YOU TETSURO-"
This doesn't stop when you're in public. Or in front of your parents.
When your mom's on the other line? "L/n it's your mom she wants to talk to you!"
When you're out with friends? "L/n would you be kind and pass the salt please?"
People keep asking if you got into a fight or smthn LMFAO
So yeah this will go on for a while until he gets tired of it or he hurts your feelings then he will apologize for BEING SUCH A DICK crossing the line a bit too much.
Interactions are appreciated! :)
#kuroo x reader#kenma x reader#bokuto x reader#iwaizumi x reader#oikawa x reader#osamu x reader#atsumu x reader#suna x reader#yamaguchi x reader#tsukishima x reader#tsukkishima x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#iwaizumi smut#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#hq x reader#AshTheMadWriter#kuroo x you#kuroo x y/n#kuroo headcanons#kuroo hcs#kuroo imagines#kuroo scenarions#kenma x you
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digitally yours | lee donghyuck (haechan)
synopsis in which after a night out you already expect to come home to your boyfriend, donghyuck, grossly hunched over his desk with his face illuminated by his monitor screen, playing god knows what— but what you don’t expect is to find him playing an entirely different game than usual
genre nonidol!au, fem!reader, established relationship, comedy, and fluff
warnings minor suggestive comments & death/suicide mention (hyuck is just extremely dramatic)
word count 1.5k
a/n my nct brainrot has obviously reached a peak and please bare with me since i haven’t written a one-shot in AGES lol (anyway, enjoy lots!)
i.
“So you want me to kill myself is what I’m hearing,”
A sigh passed your freshly glossed lips, darting your eyes to your boyfriend’s reflection in the mirror.
“Hyuck, it’s just a few hours,”
“Exactly. Enough for me to end it all.” Donghyuck muttered— the pout on his lips evident in his speech, retreating to his gaming chair where he sat boneless. Sparing you the most solemnest, and the most pathetic glances he could muster just to make sure you were still paying attention.
Truth be told, you knew there was absolutely no point in reasoning with your boyfriend. You knew he was gonna draw out every situation with his dramatics to the point where you would just give up and give him the win.
Ignoring his attempt to get you to change your mind last minute, you collected your things so you could swiftly breeze through your door and begin your night out.
“Goodbye, Donghyuck,” you reluctantly decide to grace him with a brief peck on his pouty lips. Breaking him down from his sulky attitude to the point where said lips stretched into a satisfied smirk.
Before you could lean yourself back upright, Donghyuck’s hand had circled the back of your neck— bringing your lips back to his own to further the kiss you had shared. You indulged him for a bit, bracing yourself with both hands on the armrest of his chair, but eventually decided to cut him off before he actually started effectively convincing you to stay home with him.
“Alright, seriously, I’m going now,” your feet move to separate yourself from Donghyuck before he could reach out for you once more. You rub your lips together, noting to retouch your gloss before you got to where you were going.
Donghyuck sighed, accepting his defeat.
“Okay, okay. Have a good night, baby,” he chirped as you made your way to the bedroom door. As your hand brushed the knob, you glanced over one last time to see Donghyuck returning his attention to his monitor.
“And Hyuck,”
“Hmm…”
“Please don’t stay on League all night.”
Haechan snorted dismissively. “I won’t.”
He reassured you, signaling you with a shooing motion to finally exit from your shared bedroom. You cut your eyes at him, not believing a word he says but also not having enough time to spare to bicker with him about his habits.
Illuminated by his monitor, Donghyuck flutters his pretty lashes at you, feigning innocence. “I promise I won’t, angel,” his nickname of choice for you eliminating a third of the unease you were holding.
You huffed, finally peeling the door open to slither your way out. Before completely taking your leave, you throw a final threat suggestion to him.
“And go to sleep at a reasonable time!”
“I will!”
ii.
“God,” you jumped, clutching your chest at the sight of your boyfriend half-way deep inside your refrigerator.
He glared at you with his bloodshot eyes as wide as saucers, the bright light of the fridge illuminating his face making him look strangely ghost-like. Unfortunately, this wasn’t your first time catching your beloved boyfriend at what you could only describe as his worst. His back curved viciously, scavenging in your kitchen (curbards and all) looking for anything to qualm his late night cravings.
Your eyes flickered down to his favorite choice. A crisp cold red bull fit snugly in his fingers, you sighed— your shoulders coming down from your initial fright.
“Hyuck, what did I say?” You spoke as if you were an owner disciplining their disobedient pet. Only this pet stayed awake till ungodly hours and drank energy drinks like water.
Donghyuck whined, already knowing you were gonna reprimand him for doing exactly what you told him not to do. He closed the fridge door and waddled toward you, purpleish bags circling his eyes.
You braced yourself as he wrapped his arms around you, his chin landing on your shoulder— anticipating the way he was gonna try to pry himself out of this situation with what he thought was his best asset: being annoying.
“You can’t blame me, ___,” your name floated from his lips in a sing-song manner, Donghyuck’s breath tickling your neck.
“I can’t blame you for staying up and playing League with Jeno?” You inquired, not letting him have an effect on you (or at least trying not to let him have an effect on you).
Donghyuck snickered, craning his neck up, his half-lidded doe-like eyes glittering in clear exhaustion. “That’s because I wasn’t playing league with Jen’…” he smirked.
You sighed, already exhausted with his antics. “Then what, Hyuck?”
“Lemme show you,” his head returned to the crook of your neck, his breath making you shiver. Your eyebrows knitted together— shrugging off your want to not further fuel him, finally (unsurprisingly) giving into his actions. Donghyuck circled his arm around yours’, dragging you to your shared bedroom.
To say you were surprised to find out he actually wasn’t pulling your leg about not playing with Jeno would be an understatement. Donghyuck hummed his way to his desk, settling down his drink of choice and pulling you into his lap— a position you were familiar with.
The screen re-illuminated itself at the tap of Donghyuck’s fingers, soon graphics you hadn’t seen in months filled his monitor. You blinked at the scene in front of you— a house in build-mode— in confusion, it wasn’t like Donghyuck to play the Sims. He had only installed it on his PC for you— and you hadn’t touched it in at least six months.
Your eyes fell to the bottom of the screen, two characters that dangerously resembled you and your boyfriend idly in the bottom left corner. You couldn’t help but giggle at what was unfolding, Donghyuck had presumably stayed up for the past five hours simply making you and him in a simulated game.
Donghyuck’s face nudged into your shoulder once more, “Ya’ like?” He inquired, his speech a bit slurred from his evident lack of rest.
You giggled lightly, turning your head to meet his sheepish gaze. “I love,” you rivaled.
A sleepy, yet triumphant smile spread across Donghyuck’s face. He sat back in his chair, it bouncing with his shift in weight. “As you should. I busted my ass off in create-a-sim,” he proclaimed, a hint of bitterness laced in his words. Your eyes flitted to the screen, squinting to see your simulated look-a-like. You had to give it to him, they were pretty accurate.
“They are really good, Hyuck. It’s like a mirror,” you mused. Donghyuck hummed, clearly basking in your compliments. Before you could get off any more, he interjected– a sneaky hand climbing up your spine over your jacket that you still hadn’t removed due to Donghyuck’s eagerness to have you in this position.
“Should I download wicked whims to test their realism?” You didn’t have to look at your boyfriend to know he was wiggling his eyebrows expectantly, and that he was when you snapped your head to him at a neck-breaking speed.
“Moment ruined,” you spoke sourly, placing your palms on Donghyuck’s desk to balance yourself as you tried to get up. Hurriedly, arms were encompassed around you to pull you back down into his lap.
“Kidding, kidding,” he mumbled with his lips against your skin, a for now being muffled lowly into your neck just moments after.
You sighed, reluctantly allowing yourself to become comfortable with his touch once again. “All right, pro simmer, now that I’ve seen your accomplishments— can you please go to bed for me?”
Donghyuck yawned on cue, leaning in to click past you and shut down the screen he had become acquainted with all night. With his computer no longer needing his attention, your boyfriend circled his strong arms around your waist. “Anything for you, angel,” he chirped.
“Tsk. You said something like that earlier—“ A slender finger was placed gingerly on your lips, hushing you promptly.
“Shh, let’s not dwell on the past, love,” Donghyuck’s hand fell to come back to its rightful place on your torso.
You snorted, shaking your head at him. Though annoying, there was something about Donghyuck that you’d always find endearing— without fail.
Comfortably, you leaned in to have your lips angled against his own— catching him by surprise for a fleeting second. Exhaustion aside, Donghyuck always had enough energy to give you affection. He slanted his head opposite of yours, humming in satisfaction as your lips moved in harmony. There was a disgruntled whine that crawled its way out of Donghyuck’s throat upon your disconnect.
“More once you get some sleep,” you placed a final peck on his pouty lips. You could visibly see Donghyuck fighting back the urge to argue with you but his exhaustion must’ve gotten the better of him because without a word, he scooted his chair away from his desk— signaling that he was ready to get up.
Proud you were wordlessly crowned victor of your non-existent fight, you kindly moved off of his lap to grant him room to launch himself from his chair to the middle of your shared bed. You laughed at him, beginning to finally strip yourself of the clothes that seemed to weigh you down after wearing them all night.
Much to Donghyuck’s delight, it didn’t take you very long to climb into bed alongside him. Cuddling into his warmth, and allowing him to sling a comfortable leg across your torso to cling onto you more effectively.
“Love you,” he mumbled tiredly into the crook of your neck, emitting another yawn.
“I love you too, Hyuck.”
“Also my sim is having an affair with Don Lothario, so don’t be shocked when you log in next time.”
“What?!”
© jigueminunbich 2024
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SUCCESS STORY!!🤎🧸
tw//mental problems, abusive family, bullying, suicide attempt, manifest/void obsession
first of all i want to thank lotus because it helped me even when i was thinking about suicide❤️🩹
it's been years since I learned loa and I was having problems with the manifest. althought I have known loa for 2-3 years, i constantly reacted to 3D and for such reasons I could not manifest anything for 2-3 years. and when i first learned loa i was obsessed with void. I was hurting myself to enter void. like if you don't enter void today I will kill you. i was crazy because of void. at the same time, I was staying in the family environment that dragged me to death, and I was bullied at school . i was hated by people even though i did nothing. i tried to commit suicide many times, my family wouldn't let me go to the therapist. also, no one said anything to the bullying I saw. thats why I bullied myself for years in the same way. if I told anyone I was being bullied and asked for help, they would say it was probably my problem to my face💀💀 and towards the end of 2022, i seriously couldn't stand it anymore. i was constantly reading blogs [i think there is no blog i haven't read, lmao] and the last time i couldn't stand it, i tried suicide again, but i failed. later i wrote to lotus and she gave me a lot of advice (baby ily😩❤️) and i cried more than i have ever cried that night. the problem is that while people were already ruining me, the real problem was that i was ruining myself too. after that day, in the first week, i had so many problems in my manifest journey. but until 2023, i said to myself, "i don't want to live like this anymore. i deserve the life I want.” i made a promise. and every time I felt like quitting, i remembered my promise to myself. and now i have revised my whole life, i live in dubai🤭. if you're going to ask how i did this, i started to listen to my inner voice, i almost stopped entering tumblr. i stopped affirming and wrote down the things that i was gonna revise one by one, and added them to the notes app on my phone. i made a note at the bottom that I already have these in my life. when “what if I can't manifest the life I want?” if such thoughts came to my mind, i told myself that the creation was already finished. in this process, i focused only on myself and was developing my self concept. before I went to bed at night, i was constantly imagining the life I wanted and I was staying in that state and saying I already had the life I wanted, I didn't affirm anything extra. and even those who made life difficult for me started to apologize to me. (i manifested their karma life lol) anyway I don't want to talk more about those bitches but I want to mention this. please take a break. relax. stay away from things like void, loa for a few days. I noticed that some of you are obsessed with void on this blog. but i must say void is just a method. if i manifested the life i wanted when i was only 12-13 years old, you can do it too. take a break and do what feels good to you. love yourself. loa blogs can help you up to a point. they can't spare all their days for you. start taking responsibility. find manifest methods that work well for you. love yourself. meditate. i’ve talked a lot but I would like to add that, if someone tells you that you are the cause of the circumstances you are experiencing right now, that you created the conditions in which you live, please tell them to shut their fucking mouths. no such thing. i was blaming myself again, thinking what a disgusting monster i am just because this “you create ur reality” thingy. but the truth is that creation is already over. good luck!
MY FAV SUCCESS STORY TO EXIST!!!! 😭
I literally cried when this girl texted me saying she is living her dream life, I was so pround, I am pround 💗
Backstory, she first texted me 12/15/2022
She told me everything about her circumstances, they were really bad ones, and she was 12 at time and this made my heart so broken (she revised her age) since her parents were really toxic and disgusting ( I am not going to say much about her old story).
So I told her all about the toxic home I lived and how I manifested it away too (my success, my failures).
So, time passed and 01/feb I got this text!
I literally cried because I was so happy for herrrr 💗😭😭
"How she did it?"
She focused in her inner Self being the only reality and ignored all circumstances!
"and i would love to you to add those youtubers and blogs"
insta: - kriston jackson
youtube: - lana blakely
tumblr: - @becomingthatgirl111
— other sources abt loa: - joe dispenza, edward art"
I literally cried so much and I am so happy for you my angel, look how you did it! You were 12 and revised your whole life! 💗💗💗
And that are people out there who don't believe that it is possible to manifest things. Look at this girl 💓
You did it amazing love, I am so pround of you. You are deserving of all the best things in the world. I wish you all the fun in life. Thank you sm for sending me this, I feel so appreciated that I had helped you, but who did all of this was YOU! 💗💗💗
✉️You all, everything is possible!
#neville goddard#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loa advice#loa blog#manifesting#success story#living in the end#loatumblr#Lotuses success
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SACRIFICE (EAT ME UP)
PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader
WORD COUNT 9.17k
GENRES horror ﹒ smut ﹒ angst ﹒ fluff ig?
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, mentions of blood, mentions of knifes, graphic description of stab wounds, mentions of potential mental illness, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CONSTITUTE WARNINGS BUT ?!1?1 I DONT WANT TO SPOIL !1!2!2, Lots of Kissing, mutual masturbation (f! receiving fingering & m! receiving hand job), pillow talk ig, big dick hyunjae 😈, um unprotected sex lol be safe u silly geese, car sex, cowgirl position yeehaw, creampie, this entire fic is just a whole fucking roller coaster i stg it’s gonna haunt me forever
SUMMARY with a serial killer running rampant on campus, everyone around you seems to be dropping like flies. but, hey, at least you have hyunjae to protect you.
MORE omg.. my first written work for tbz 🙀 extra super fun fact; this was originally an idea i had for hyunjin from skz on my other blog that i actually started writing the week before halloween last year (the reason it’s a horror fic), but i never finished and sort of felt like there was no point in continuing it after a while— that is until i stumbled upon the draft a few weeks ago and decided to revamp, edit, and complete it 😋 i kept going back and rereading and then blanking when i wanted to add to it until last night when i said fuck it and drank two cups of coffee to power through the end 🙌 anyways.. here u all go, my baby that i never thought would see the light of day and my first time writing a genuine horror piece <3 also special shoutout to rina my soulmate @tsukidou for beta reading 🫶
PLAYLIST sacrifice (eat me up) — enhypen, awake — the boyz, roar — the boyz, fever — enhypen, fate — enhypen, taste — stray kids, wake up — ateez, white noise — pvris, heaven — pvris
“Alright, that’s all for today’s lecture. If this was your last of the day, make sure to find someone to go home with and remember the curfew rules!” Your English professor says, concluding the class.
The students around you rush to pack up their things and get off of campus as soon as possible. You don’t seem to be in a hurry, though, taking your time to put away your notebook and laptop. Your roommates were still in their music production class, so you didn’t want to go home alone, deciding to wait until they were done.
“Y/N, don’t you wanna get home?” Professor Park asks, her voice echoing in the now empty lecture hall. She throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“I do, but I have to wait for my roommates. They’re in a class right now and I’d rather not go by myself.” You let out an awkward laugh. She nods at your reasoning, giving you a small smile for comfort.
“Okay, you be careful! I’ll see you on Thursday.”
You raise your hand in a silent salutation, watching as she exits the room, leaving you completely alone. Though a public space, in a public building, the fact that there’s no one else nearby leaves you utterly unsettled. Your stomach churns with a twinge of fear and you start to feel a bit claustrophobic despite being in such a spacious area, so you choose this point to hurriedly collect your belongings and get the hell out of there.
The past couple of months have been in this weird state of limbo. You don’t recall exactly when the killings started, but once the police noticed a pattern, everyone knew sooner or later that the presence of a serial murderer would be announced on the local news. Your town enforced a citywide curfew to protect its citizens, but mostly the students at your university.
Every single one of the killer’s victims were university students. You were friends with a bunch of guys and while it was nice having big strong men surrounding you, you knew that could hardly do anything to quell the lingering anxiety you’ve felt ever since the spree began.
The police seemed to be having trouble coming up with any possible suspects, or even gaining any leads, thanks to the killer’s unusual victimology and the cool down time between murders always varying. If the people in charge of protecting you couldn’t do that, how were you supposed to feel safe?
In an attempt to get to the building where Jacob, Kevin, and Eric were as fast as you could, you speed walk out of the lecture hall, accidentally bumping into someone. You bow at a nearly ninety-degree angle and hurl out apology after apology following the collision, not trying to make any enemies in this day and time.
“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” The stranger spits, waiting for you to glance up at him to give you a nasty glare. He looks like the kind of guy who thought he was all that, despite peaking in high school. You feel your bottom lip quiver and you avoid eye contact.
“I—”
“Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. It was an accident, I’m sure she didn’t— wait, N/N, is that you? Hey it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
There’s a familiar voice in your ears and a hand under your chin, forcing you to stand upright. Whoever you bumped into walks away with a scoff. You meet eyes with Lee Hyunjae, one of your dearest friends. He recognizes that hint of panic in your features and he frowns.
“I’m so sorry, Jae, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—” Your breath is caught in your throat and you fumble over your words.
“Hey, hey, slow down,” he keeps a hold on your biceps. “It’s alright, I promise. He’s gone. What’s wrong?”
You shut your eyes tightly, feeling pathetic for causing such a scene for no apparent reason. Hyunjae guides you through your breathing, his focus trained on you the whole time. He always made you feel so comfortable.
“With everything that’s been going on, I’m just so paranoid and afraid of being alone. I wanted to go to the music department building and wait for the boys.” You finally explain once you’ve calmed down and the rise of your chest is even.
“How about this? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to stay on campus any longer.” He suggests, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod slowly, gathering your bearings.
Hyunjae leads you to his car that’s parked in the lot closest to the building you were just in and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You’d been friends with your roommates for years now, meeting in eighth grade. You had just moved schools and happened to be put into a class with Eric Sohn, the most rambunctious boy you’d ever met. He thought you seemed really sweet upon first impression and decided to befriend you, introducing you to all of his friends in turn.
Aside from Eric, there was Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo. While it was a little overwhelming, it was nice going from zero friends to eleven in the span of just a couple days. You were pretty close to all of them, but you and Hyunjae initially hit it off the best. You understood each other on a different level than everyone else and to this day, you still don't know the exact reason why.
Towards the end of high school, your friendship with Hyunjae transformed into something that wasn’t purely platonic. You weren’t entirely sure when it started to change, but your feelings for him grew exponentially. You tried to keep them to yourself, hidden from the world to preserve your fragile teenage heart. Though you’d already been friends with them a few years at that point, you still had that inkling of dread in the pit of your stomach that one day they’d choose to stop talking to you. You especially didn’t want a silly crush to be the cause of that.
After a while, however, the lines began to blur together anyway and everyone could tell you felt for him romantically. Once, Eric had made a comment about it being so painfully obvious that Hyunjae was just as into you and it nearly shook your whole world.
When college time rolled around, you all knew you’d be attending the same university, so picking roommates was a bit of a tricky situation. You chose yours solely based on the fact that you were majoring in similar things, so it’d be easy to fit schedules together. (You also couldn’t handle being roommates with Hyunjae; it’d be too much for your heart.) Hyunjae lived with Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo, while Sangyeon, Younghoon, Chanhee, and Haknyeon lived together.
Hyunjae parks in a spot near the stairs that lead to your unit. The car is still running when you unbuckle your seatbelt and you stare at the steps blankly. Though the close proximity with him has your pulse racing, you want nothing more than some company until your roommates get home. You turn to him shyly, balling up a fistful of your sweater.
“Jae, do you— do you think you could stay with me for a bit before the boys come back? I don’t— I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”
The look he gives you is full of adoration, like you personally put the stars in the sky. He smiles softly and nods, reaching across the center console to place a comforting hand on top of yours. The two of you keep them intertwined as you go inside your apartment, locking all the locks carefully before sitting on your couch.
You don’t make a comment about him not letting go despite already being in the safety of your home. You don’t say anything about him pulling you into his side either, mostly because you want him to.
With all that’s been happening recently, you’ve felt so hollow. There was this indescribable emptiness expanding in you and even though you so desperately wanted to chalk it up to something else, you knew it was due to the fact that there was growing anxiety that you could be next, that any of your friends could be next. You were starting to move like you were in a simulation, doing everything in your daily routine without a single emotion. Sure, you’d laugh when Eric made a stupid joke but that’s about the most anyone could get from you aside from the occasional panic attack.
Hyunjae being here and holding you is exactly what you needed to feel some semblance of warmth again.
There’s a soft knock on your bedroom door around eight that same night, waking you from your slumber. You don’t remember falling asleep or being moved to your bed, so you’re not too sure when Hyunjae left. You rub the sleep from your eyes as you get up to open your door.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you, but we got some takeout if you’re hungry.” Jacob says with an apologetic smile, leaning on the door frame.
You give him a bleary look as you nod, following him into the dining room where your other two roommates were sitting at the table. Eric greets you through a full mouth. A small laugh escapes you when you sit across from him, Kevin adjacent to your seat. The sound of the TV in the living room plays as background noise as the four of you eat.
“So when’d you get home? I thought you were gonna wait for us.” Kevin asks.
“I was, but then I ran into Hyunjae when I was on my way to your building and he offered to bring me home,” you shrug, taking some tteokbokki with your chopsticks. “It was a whole thing, please don’t ask.”
Eric hums to himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he takes a sip of his cola. “Interesting. And you say he’s not into you…”
Heat blooms over your cheeks and you accidentally drop your chopsticks on your plate, their clacking against the ceramic garnering your roommates’ attention. Eric Sohn was now number one on your hit list. Kevin elbows him in the side and tells him to be quiet, despite the tiny upwards curve of his lips.
“If he cares about you as much as he seems like he does, he wouldn’t have left you here alone after you fell asleep,” Jacob mutters, looking at you from his peripherals. “What was the point of escorting you home if—”
“Jacob shut the fuck up,” Eric suddenly blurts, the three of you stare at him as he clambers over to the living room, turning up the volume on the TV. “Look!”
You turn in your chair, your stomach churning at the news report unfolding before you.
“We’re live just outside SNU, where another victim has been found. The body hasn’t been identified yet, but from what we do know, he was a student that attended the school,” the female reporter says into the microphone she’s holding, a glazed over expression in her eyes. “Crime Scene Investigators believe he was murdered at around six this evening, and was assumed to have been making his way home from campus. Updates are expected to come later tonight once we have more information.”
You know that far away, checked out gaze she had all too well. She’s reported on the killings for a while now, no doubt numb to the way things were at this point.
Your appetite spoils immediately and you excuse yourself from the table, making your way back to your room. You sit on your bed and bring your knees to your chest, taking a deep breath in, then covering your mouth when you breathe out to muffle the sob that follows. It was becoming too overwhelming for you and there was nothing you could do about it besides sit back and watch.
It was understandable for anyone in your situation to feel hopeless, how could they not? With someone terrorizing the city in an unpredictable manner, there was no sense of normalcy in anyone’s life. You shudder when you finally bring yourself to stop crying, digging your nails into the fat of your calves.
Through the walls, you can hear the boys talking, voices solemn.
“Why’d you have to put the TV louder, dumbass?”
“Sorry, I just like being up to date on the case, you know? I want to be prepared. What if I need to learn clone jutsu to take out the guy?”
“Eric, you’re such a clown, oh my god.”
“I get that you’re interested and all, but you have to be mindful of Y/N. You know how much this has affected her both emotionally and physically, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that it’s happening. And I’d appreciate if you apologized for telling me to ‘shut the fuck up’.”
There’s a snort in between.
“My bad, I didn’t mean to be rude about it. But while we’re on the topic, I think we both need to admit our mistakes. What you said about Hyunjae to her wasn’t cool either. I know we’re all friends, but it just came across too—”
“It was really snappy, Jacob. And a bit petty.”
“Yeah! What Kevin said.”
“I— you’re right. I just don’t want her getting hurt, in more ways than one.”
You don’t hear much else from the trio and sigh heavily, dragging your hands down your face and wiping your eyes with the heels of your palms. You grab your phone from your nightstand and hesitantly search for Hyunjae’s contact, the line ringing a couple times before he answers.
“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“N-no, I’m fine. I was just— I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay,” you mess with your bottom lip. “I heard there was another victim and I didn’t know when you left the apartment, so I just— uh— I just needed to know that you were safe. I called to see if you’d answer.”
You squeeze your eyes shut out of embarrassment, even if he can’t exactly see you. The stuttering was enough to make you go into hiding for the rest of your life if this serial killer didn’t.
“Oh,” you can hear the slight chuckle in his response from the way his breath hits the speaker. “It means a lot that you’d do that, N/N. Really, I appreciate you so much.”
Your lip finds itself between your teeth and your heart is pounding unbearably fast, you think you might be having a heart attack. You bring a hand up to clutch at your chest as a fuzzy feeling courses through your whole being.
Now you were scared for an entirely different reason.
(The main one occupies your mind again later that night when you scroll through your Twitter feed, only to find out the most recent victim was the guy you accidentally bumped into. You feel like some sick version of a guardian angel was looking after you. It makes it hard to fall asleep after that.)
A couple days passed and you found yourself thinking about Lee Hyunjae more than usual.
Not to say that you didn’t already think about him at least once a day, but now it was worse. When you woke up, you wondered if he was still asleep. While you drank your morning coffee, you wondered if it’d taste sweeter had he made it for you. When you had lunch, you wondered if he’d like the spam musubi you made yourself. When you attended your other classes, you wondered which courses he was struggling with this semester.
As you were walking out of your English class, you recalled running into him. Had he not been there, you might’ve driven yourself insane trying to rush over to the music building while diffusing the issue with that stranger.
When you first began to harbor feelings for him, you assumed it would become nothing more than a silly schoolgirl crush. He was attractive and kind to you, but that was just the bare minimum— you thought you’d grow out of it. However, as time went on, what you thought was just puppy love had blossomed into something stronger. It was a force to be reckoned with.
Of course, all of that had been tossed on the back burner with everything that’s going on. Recently you’ve been too afraid for your own safety and well-being to over analyze your interactions with Hyunjae, but now you’re back to square one.
All because he’d done something nice for you.
God, the bar was so low. Was it really too much to ask for someone who was decent? Someone who wasn’t a serial killer?
You were on your way to the music building to wait for Jacob, Kevin, and Eric once again, when you see Hyunjae coming down the hall. He’s on his phone, not paying any mind to his surroundings. You’re about to call out to him when someone stops you, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater gently.
“Hey, Y/N right?” The tall boy asks, a charming smile on his face.
“Uh— yeah,” you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Y-you are?”
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must seem like a total weirdo,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu! We have English together.”
“Oh, you’re Mingyu? Professor Park told me about you before class today,” you give him a small comforting smile. “I don’t mind helping you!”
“Ah, that’s great to hear. I was a bit worried you’d be more annoyed about having to tutor someone so late in the semester.” Though he’s much taller than you and approached you first, Mingyu comes across as a little shy in nature. It puts you at ease in a way.
“No, not at all! English isn’t always the easiest, I get that. I wanna help as much as I can before finals. Look,” you pause, pulling your backpack off one shoulder to rip out a sheet of paper. “I’ll give you my number so we can arrange meet up dates! I’d prefer if we met at the library if that’s okay with you?”
Mingyu grins and sports a thumbs up in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, Y/N!”
You scribble your phone number onto the paper and hand it to him before parting ways. With the off guard conversation, you nearly forgot about Hyunjae, who was nowhere to be seen now. You feel your lips droop into a frown, since you were hoping you could talk with him for a second.
As you’re walking across the quad to the music building, a wind chill blows past you, making you wrap your arms around yourself. It was mid November and for some stupid reason, you were only wearing a small cardigan.
When you squint up at the sky, you also realize it’s more overcast than anything. There’s an angry grey cloud right above you and you curse yourself for not having an umbrella or a raincoat. You should've been more prepared, especially because of the inconsistent weather this time of year.
Suddenly, the sky is blocked from your view and you furrow your brows, spinning around. Hyunjae stares back at you with a smile ten times warmer than the frigid air surrounding you and a thicker jacket in one hand. The other holds up an umbrella just as tiny droplets begin to fall from above.
His timing couldn’t have been better.
“Heading to the music building?” He asks, skillfully placing the coat on your shoulders.
“Mhm… was gonna wait for the boys.” You respond, a little awestruck by how gorgeous he was. Especially up close. Your eyes fixate on the freckle on his nose rather than his own. He hums, keeping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you in a different direction.
“I can take you home again,” he glances down at you. “I don’t mind one bit.”
“O-okay!”
During the car ride to your apartment, you send a quick text to your roommates about not waiting up. You were happy that your relationship with Hyunjae was evolving. The past couple semesters had been rough, and you hadn’t seen him or any of the other guys nearly as much as Jacob, Kevin, and Eric. (And that was only because you lived with them.)
You toss your keys on to the mini table beside the front door, taking off your shoes with a small groan. The boots were cute, but not very comfortable. Hyunjae follows suit, his sock clad feet shuffling against the floor to sit on the couch.
After switching on the TV, you find a random Hallmark Christmas movie to play in the background, knowing full well that his presence beside you was too distracting. The brunette turns to face you, placing a hand on your thigh gently to get your attention.
“So, who was the dude you were talking to earlier?”
You blink at his question. So he saw you after all. Was he perhaps jealous? The idea shouldn’t make you giddy, but it does. “My professor asked me to tutor him ‘cause he’s struggling with English. Why?”
“Just curious. He seemed a little touchy.” Hyunjae plays with the hem of your sweater.
“O-oh. It’s fine, he wasn’t a random perv, if that’s what you were wondering.”
He scoots a little closer to you, tucking some hair behind your ear. You feel your face flush impossibly hotter. Your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat. His body heat radiates off of him with the new proximity.
“Good. It drives me crazy seeing other guys put their hands on you.” He admits bluntly, his hand resting at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder.
You know you look insane, your chest heaving up and down and your eyes widened a little. Like a baby deer caught by a predator. Who knew sweet sweet Hyunjae had a rather risqué side to him? You swallow thickly, not daring to move an inch. His thumb caresses your skin gently, goosebumps littering in its wake.
“Hyunjae…” You breathe, lips parting as you finally make eye contact with him.
“You’re so pretty, Y/N.”
You want to scream into the cushion behind you, your hands clamming up. Hyunjae looks like he could swallow you whole if he wanted to, his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans in a bit more. This moment was something straight out of one of your darkest fantasies. You never thought this would ever happen, that either of you would ever actually make a move on the other.
The sound of the front door unlocking catches both of your attention. Hyunjae pulls away from you faster than your brain can comprehend what exactly just occurred. Jacob is the first to walk in, laughing at something Eric said. The three males pause when they see you’re not alone.
The greetings are quick, Hyunjae dapping up the boys as if nothing. He’s also quick to say goodbye, ensuring them that he’ll make sure you’re safe when they’re not around. He gives you that smile of his, the one where his eyes form crescents, and then he’s gone.
You don’t know how much more of this you could take.
“So, Y/N…” Eric starts in the middle of dinner, side eyeing you as he shovels rice into his mouth. “You and Hyunjae have been together an awful lot lately.”
Kevin snorts, kicking the blonde under the table. You suppose it was going to come up eventually. This ‘Will They, Won’t They’ back and forth shit was starting to tire you out. You weren’t getting any younger. Time was passing you up the longer you waited to just say something. And with all that’s been going on, it was silly to be afraid of admitting your feelings.
“He’s being a good friend, Eric,” Jacob sighs, reaching across to flick him on the forehead. “It’s actually really nice that he watches over Y/N when we’re gone.”
Eric grimaces, rubbing the spot that Jacob assaulted. You frown a bit when you realize that he had a point. Hyunjae was treating you like a child that had to be tended to, babysitting you like you weren’t capable of holding your own. Granted, both times he’s come over, you asked him to. So you couldn’t really blame him for assuming you wanted him around to protect you.
“Do y’all think Hyunjae actually likes me? In a non-platonic way?”
Kevin’s spoon clatters onto the floor and they all pause their banter to look at you. Every time your feelings for Hyunjae were brought up, you chose to ignore them and switch the subject. You can’t keep running away.
“Uh— yeah. Duh. Of course he does. I don’t know anyone else who would go out of their way to stay with someone they saw as just a friend multiple times a week so she felt safe.” Kevin finally answers after a moment.
“Okay.” You settle on, taking a sip of your water.
“What do you mean ‘okay’?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shrug.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
As you’re washing the dishes after dinner, you hear the news broadcast over the faucet. Another victim had just been found behind the campus library. The camera shows the scene behind the reporter, something that would’ve made you queasy a couple days ago, but now you feel nothing— just a dull ache in your chest. It’s messy, almost like the killer was in a hurry to get it over with.
The body is covered with a black tarp, paramedics wheeling it away in the corner of the screen. The reporter still wears that dissociated expression on her face as she goes over the details of this victim. She explains that because the murder was done so haphazardly, they were able to identify the body easily.
Twenty three year old Kim Mingyu, Sports Med Major.
The rest of the news report sounds like static in your ears as you scrub away at the dishes mindlessly. Your fingers have pruned and the water was burning the backs of your hands, but you don’t feel it, too checked out to care. It seemed like the killings were getting closer and closer to you. Part of you thought you’d be next every single time.
You had to tell Hyunjae how you felt. It was now or never.
Fifteen minutes later, he’s waiting outside of your apartment complex, leaning against his car. You take careful steps down the stairs, nearly fainting at the sight of him in a hoodie and grey sweatpants. He runs around the car to open the passenger door for you, only shutting it when you’re all buckled up. It’s not long after that he revs the engine and drives off to nowhere in particular, just like you requested. (Curfew ignored.)
It’s silent at first, save for the low hum of his music, R&B that resonates somewhere within your soul. You can’t help but steal a glance from your peripheral, fisting your sweatshirt when you see how concentrated he looks while driving. He has his right hand resting on the gear shift, the other gripping the wheel. You could’ve had this view all to yourself so long ago had you just spoken up.
“Hyunjae,” your voice is wobbly, but you steel yourself to continue. “I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
“Do you think— uh— do you think you could pull over?” If you were going to confess, you wanted him to look at you. Besides, the drive was starting to make you jittery.
He nods and goes a bit further, before pulling into an empty lot. He shifts into park, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn his body towards you, giving you his undivided attention. You mirror him, tightening your hold on your sweater when he wets his lips, smiling at you. “Is this what you called me for?”
“Yeah, actually,” you force yourself to keep eye contact, pushing the lump back down your throat. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for years now, if I’m being honest with both of us.”
He chuckles, much like he did the other night over the phone. It drives you just a little crazy. “I’m listening.”
“I— I don’t know how to word this properly…” You wipe your palms on your legs. Come on, Y/N, spit it out already. “Fuck, okay, I like you Hyunjae. Like, really like you. In the way that I sometimes wish you would kiss me until I can’t breathe. I’ve been so afraid of admitting that to myself, but I’ve realized that life is way too short to dwell over the fear of rejection. But please, tell me you feel the same.”
He stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. You feel like throwing up now, you stomach twisting and churning at the thought that you just ruined everything between you. There was no going back after this. He knew.
It’s as if months have passed by in utter silence with Hyunjae just sitting there, no words coming out of his mouth, until finally, he just leans across the center console, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His vision is trained on your lips, his face close enough that his lashes flutter against your skin. God, he was even more gorgeous from this distance.
Instead of saying anything, he presses his lips to yours, a sweet but desperate kiss that melts away all the worries tucked into your head. They feel so soft on your own, molding together in near perfect timing. It’s like you’d been living for a year without rain and this kiss was the shower that saved you from a drought. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and needed and more.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathes when he pulls away slightly. “The real thing is so much better than I imagined it would be.”
For once, time slows down in this moment, almost like the world stopped spinning on its axis. Everything slips from your mind and it’s just you and Hyunjae, here in his car in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing else matters. You smile at his confession, a genuine smile that was spurred on by contentment rather than force. You felt light and airy, no longer weighed down by such a trivial problem.
“I think I have an idea,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a stray hair from his face. “I’m not too sure, though, I could be wrong. Could you do that again to help jog my memory?”
Hyunjae laughs, (it’s the most melodic sound you’ve ever heard) but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. You reciprocate his passion, tangling your fingers in his dark hair. He sighs into the kiss, pulling you on top of him. Your legs straddle his lap as best as they can and he reaches down to recline his seat, scooting it as far as it can go from the wheel. The thin material of your fleece shorts hardly hide the feeling of him under you, a low moan pushing into his mouth.
He nips at your bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth gently before peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking along the exposed skin from your sweatshirt. You whine, throwing your head back as his tongue soothes over the bruising area. His hands slide under your top, rubbing up and down your sides before moving them down to your thighs, repeating the action.
“You’re so gorgeous on top of me like this, Y/N.” Hyunjae says, just above a whisper like someone else might hear this intimate conversation. He grips your hips and bucks upwards to grind into your clothed core. Your eyes widen and you involuntarily moan at the sensation. This wasn’t what you were expecting when you planned to confess, but you didn’t hate the outcome. He grins at your response, reconnecting your mouths sloppily.
If you were given the choice, you were wholeheartedly satisfied with just this. You would’ve been plenty okay with just making out. Had you been asked years ago that you’d even get this far, you would’ve snorted in your own face, so why should you be greedy and want more than what you had? (That’s not to say that you didn’t.)
“H-Hyunjae,” you stutter, your brain foggy from all of the kissing you just did. “Do you…?”
You trail off, not sure how to word your question. You didn’t want to come off like a sex crazed maniac, but you didn’t want to come off like an amateur virgin either. Truth of the matter is, you were neither, but it had been a while since you indulged yourself in something of this sort. And this time it would be with Hyunjae, the one person you never thought you’d do this with. You were nervous.
All you wanted was to be entwined with him in more ways than one. You wanted all of him— the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the sick, the healthy. He could do no wrong on your eyes and you wanted to show him that.
“Do I…?” Hyunjae trails off, waiting for you to continue.
“Do you want to make love… with me?” This had to be the single most mortifying moment of your life. You cover your face in humiliation, shying away from him when he sits up on his elbows.
“What kind of question is that?” He asks with a chuckle, prying your hands from your face so he could look you in the eyes. “If I could make love to you every hour of the day, for seven days a week, I would. I want you all the time, Y/N. Earlier today, before we got interrupted, I wanted to do unimaginable things to you.”
You hide yourself in the crook of his neck, your skin flushing hotter. Weren't you wearing too many layers? The car was starting to feel stuffy. Hyunjae’s chest rumbles with laughter beneath you, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. This is probably the gentlest he’d be with you all night, because from what you could infer, he was a manhandler.
“Take care of me,” you breathe, mouth brushing against his pulse point. “Please.”
Hyunjae stops holding himself back. He’d do whatever you asked of him, only hoping you’d be tied to him in every lifetime, just like this one. He kisses you again with an unrivaled fervor, slipping his hands inside your sweatshirt and touching you everywhere physically possible. They’re warm on your skin, palming your breasts over the flimsy fabric of your bralette.
He helps you get rid of your top and shorts, leaving you in just undergarments. The sight of you barely clothed sends him into a frenzy, especially knowing it’s for his eyes only. You aid Hyunjae in pulling off his hoodie and yanking his sweatpants down his long legs. The minute most of your restrictions are gone, Hyunjae brings you closer to him. He hisses at the contact, the warmth of your cunt through your panties putting him under a spell.
You whimper when his touch travels down your front, sneaking into the waistband of your underwear. The pads of his middle and ring fingers apply the lightest amount of pressure onto your clit the second he finds it, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your nails on one hand dig into his shoulder while the other trails down his abdomen, rubbing up and down his length through his boxer briefs.
Hyunjae groans into your kiss and you gasp for air as you tear from him, resting your forehead on his to watch as you get each other off through your clothes. If earlier was something taken from one of your wet dreams, what did this constitute as? You clench around nothing when he pushes up into you, your wrists clashing. Knowing he was just as down bad for you as you were for him just made this all that much more real.
“I need to feel you around me,” he mumbles in your ear, dipping his fingers in and out of you languidly as if to explain what he meant. “Let me stretch you out.”
You nod in response, fumbling with his briefs. Hyunjae lifts his hips enough for you to help him out of them. You groan when he reveals his impressive size, wondering how exactly he expected you to take him. He pushes your panties to the side, mimicking the sound you just made when he sees your bare pussy drooling for him. You eventually get frustrated and line him up with your hole, sinking down in one fluid motion. A voluminous moan escapes from the back of your throat, his dick throbbing achingly inside of you. At first you stay still like that, your pelvises touching as you adjust to his length and girth.
“H-holy shit— you’re s-so deep, Jae,” you cry, resting your forehead against his yet again. He pecks your lips, holding onto your hips to help you bounce on his cock, practically impaling you every single time.
“Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Such a good fucking girl,” Hyunjae grunts, the warmth of your walls drawing him in even further. “So tight, too.”
Your thighs begin to burn and your movements become slower, which he takes note of instantaneously. He bends his knees and forces your upper half impossibly closer to him, thrusting up into you. This new angle allows him to find that one spongy spot that has you seeing stars, fogging up your brain and even your vision.
You cast a downward glance at the minimal space between where the two of you are connected. Your moans and whines grow louder with the view of every thrust of his hips into yours. Hyunjae sneaks his hand in the middle of you, his fingers expertly toying with your clit. Any more stimulation and the band in your stomach is snapping.
You’ve had sex before. You’ve slept with a handful of other guys in the past, but nothing could ever compare to this moment. Your cunt had already memorized his size and every vein, effectively ruining the chances of any other man doing this with you. Lee Hyunjae had you in a chokehold whether he realized it or not. He had you wrapped around his finger without really trying, but you could never complain.
Your walls squeeze his cock and he knows he won’t last much longer, shutting his eyes tightly. “C’mon baby, you gonna cum for me?”
“Mhm,” you whimper, your skin flush on his own. “Wanna cum so bad for you, Hyunjae.”
“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart,” he pants, the thumb on your hip pressing against the bone. “Where do you want me?”
“Inside,” you babble. “Please, please. I want you to cum inside me, Hyunjae.”
He kisses you softly just then, swallowing your pretty moans with something completely opposite of what he’s already given you, and that’s what sends you spiraling, fluttering around him. He groans, spilling into you and letting you milk him dry of everything he has to offer, painting your insides just like you asked him to.
You lay like that for a while, Hyunjae’s dick still buried in you to the hilt. Both of you attempt to catch your breaths and bring yourselves down from the well-anticipated euphoric state you just visited. You giggle at the condensation coating the windows of his car, extending your arm to draw a heart and a smiley face with your finger. He slowly pulls himself out, hissing at the sensitivity, but doesn’t make a move to get you off of his chest.
Where do you go from here? A line had just been crossed and you weren’t entirely sure you knew what he wanted from you. It’s one thing to imagine kissing and fucking someone extensively. But it was another to actually want a tangible, romantic relationship from them, to actually capacitate feelings for them.
“I love you,”
You jolt up and stare at him with widened eyes. Did those words really just come out of his mouth? As if he can read your mind, he nods. There’s a dragged out sigh, followed by him sitting up slightly with you perched on his lap.
“I really do, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for years and I’m willing to do anything for you.” He admits, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You kiss him gently, the pad of your thumb swiping across his cheekbone.
“I love you, too.”
The Saturday after your night in Hyunjae’s car brought everything into perspective for you.
You hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped you off at your apartment and it was beginning to worry you. Even though you made sure he reciprocated your emotions, there still could’ve been a misunderstanding. Had you been too forward? Did you scare him away? Did something happen to him? Whatever the explanation was, you didn’t like the eerie feeling it started brewing in your stomach— it was foreboding.
In spite of not talking to them at all in what seemed to be a month or so, you tried calling each of your mutual friends to see if you could get some answers. Not even his roommates picked up their phones and this made you much more uneasy. You pace back and forth in your living room, nicking at your bottom lip with your nails. Why did he choose now of all times to ghost you? What went wrong?
Kevin comes out of his bedroom a couple minutes later, expecting to grab his morning coffee as usual. When he finds you nearly on the brink of insanity instead, he decides to intervene. He supposed his caffeine could wait until his best friend was calmed down. You jump in surprise, holding a fist to your chest. He raises his hands in mock surrender.
“Didn’t mean to startle you, my bad. What’s up? Why do you look like you’re going through a quarter life crisis?” Kevin asks you, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is everything okay?”
“I—“ you pause and take a deep breath. “I don’t know…”
His eyebrows furrow and he guides you to the sofa so you could sit down. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”
“Hyunjae hasn’t talked to me since Thursday night, after he brought me back here,” your voice is hoarser than you’d like it to be. “I-I texted and called him a bunch but he hasn’t replied. I even— I even tried Juyo, Sunwoo, and Changmin. No luck with them either. I’m concerned, Kev.”
Kevin combs through his hair, pursing his lips in thought. “Yeah, okay, I would be too. It's a little weird that none of them are responding. Have you thought of just showing up at his place to check in on him?”
You shake your head. “No, I didn’t want him to think I’m clingy and annoying in case he was there. What if he just wants to get me off of his back and he’s telling them to ignore me?”
“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Y/N,” your friend sighs, putting his glasses on top of his head and running a hand down his face. “Hyunjae has never been that kind of person in all the years we’ve known him. I highly doubt he’d switch up now. Plus, he’s literally crazy about you. I’m pretty sure the guy would move heaven and earth for you if he could. I think there’s a very real and genuine possibility that something is seriously wrong. It’s like— it’s just a gut feeling, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” If Kevin felt this way, too, that would only mean one thing, right? You had to get to the bottom of this. There was a chance that lives depended on it. A quick roll of your neck and you’re standing. “I’m gonna go over there. I can’t leave things unanswered. I can’t wait for a fucking news report.”
The ravenette pats the top of your head. “Be careful, N/N. Please.”
You give him a nod before you’re slipping into your shoes and grabbing his car keys. You’re not exactly dressed for a confrontation if there is one— clad in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt with your university’s crest on it, and socks with sandals— but you were too preoccupied to care.
The drive itself was mentally taxing, your brain dissociating most of the ride. You’re not sure how many of the lights you passed were actually green. The closer you got to Hyunjae’s apartment, the more that trepidation settling in your lower abdomen grew. Throughout your life, you’d never been the type of person who acted on instinct or had a nagging voice in the rear of your head warning you about situations you got into. You usually went with the flow and if you made a mistake, you allowed yourself to learn from it.
However, that was prior to being thrown into a period of uncertainty like this one. Now, all you could do was act on instinct. All you could do was listen to the stupid nagging voice in the rear of your head yelling at you. All you could do was follow the blaring alarms and caution signs in your field of vision. And this time they were almost deafening.
Kevin’s car rolls to a stop outside of Hyunjae’s building, occupying an empty spot three away from the front of the stairs. Your pulse races when you step out of the vehicle and immediately recognize the cars in the spaces beside yours. Hyunjae’s, Juyeon’s, and Changmin’s. You notice a thin layer of dirt caking Juyeon and Changmin’s, as if they’d remained unmoved for a long time. Perturbed wasn’t a big enough word to describe what was going through your mind.
Half of you was terrified to take a step towards the stairs, let alone ascend them to Hyunjae’s floor. What would go down when you reached his apartment? What would happen the moment that door opened?
You ball your hands into fists, the edges of your nails jabbing the skin of your palms. The pain steels you enough to move forward, walking up the stairs slowly. There’s a chill tiptoeing along your spine the whole trip up, like your body knew what you were getting yourself into before you did. Maybe you were stupid. Only an idiot would lead themselves blindly into a scenario without knowing the outcome.
It’s been minutes of you staring at the slightly rusted numbers on Hyunjae’s door before you register that you’re standing in front of it. If you're being honest, you have no idea what you’re doing. You were acting on autopilot— progressing without a thought of what’s coming next. A shuddered breath leaves your lips and you raise your knuckles to the door.
The first knock is too soft to hear if the inhabitants were in their bedrooms, so you apply more force the second time. The sound reverberates through the hall, a wince appearing on your features. If someone was inside, surely they had to have heard that one. You wait a little longer for the door to swing open and reveal one of your friends looking perfectly fine. For Juyeon to showcase that grin of his that reaches his eyes and ask what you were doing here. For Changmin to give you that sweet smile that puffed up his cheeks and ask what you needed. For Sunwoo to blow a raspberry before he laughed at how silly you were for stressing over them. For Hyunjae to reassure you that it was all going to be okay, that he loved you. You were praying for that.
But no one showed up on the other end of that doorway and you were stuck glaring at that same painted board of wood.
That’s what sends your instincts into overdrive. Your hand grabs the knob, twisting it just in case. It makes a full rotation, pushing open the door the tiniest bit. You peek inside carefully and find all the lights in the living room and kitchen off. Your teeth bite down on your lip as you enter the apartment. One of the things you hated about it, was the annoying buzz of the fluorescent lights in their bathroom. And for some reason, that was all that infiltrated your ears.
The door for said bathroom was cracked just a tad at the end of the hallway, but what caught your attention was the room closest to you— also cracked the most miniscule amount. You see light filtering through, an almost orange glow like that of a desk lamp. Your stupidity would be your downfall, you conclude, your feet gravitating to the room. It’s Hyunjae’s you recall when you’re outside of it. They always say curiosity killed the cat, and you couldn’t help but revert to a feline and nudge it open with your foot.
You really wished that saying was just that— a saying.
Eric sits ahead of you, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. There’s a piece of fabric gagging his mouth and his clothes are tattered, blood staining nearly every inch. A long gash runs along his left bicep and a myriad of smaller cuts litter his face and arms. What your focus lands on first are the several deep stab wounds on his thighs.
A hand comes up to cup your mouth to keep yourself from screaming at the sight of your best friend in this position. He struggles against his restraints, muffled cries for your assistance shattering your heart into a thousand pieces like broken shards of glass. Tear streaks mixed with dried blood cover the apples of his cheeks.
“Oh my god, Eric,” your voice wobbles as you scramble to free him. “Oh my god…”
You pull down the fabric in his mouth first and he gasps for air. His eyes widen at something behind you and he warns, “Y/N—!” before he’s interrupted by your yelp. The person pressed into your back has their arm around your neck with a hold tight enough that you can’t escape, but loose enough that you can breathe, the blunt edge of a knife grazing the column of your throat.
“Tsk tsk, Youngjae. You should know that making so much noise when your killer’s not in the room just alerts them of suspicious activity. That’s survival 101, my friend. Isn’t that right, sweet sweet Y/N?”
No.
No. No. No. No. No.
This wasn’t happening.
This couldn’t be happening.
“Please, let her go, Hyunjae.” Eric begs. Hyunjae hums, nuzzling his nose in your hair. He rolls his eyes and scoffs after inhaling your scent, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“God, you’re a mouthy one. Not even Juyeon and Sunwoo were this chatty when I slit their throats— then again, it's not like they could talk much anyway.” He snorts.
You felt sick. You were lightheaded now, just at the thought of your friends gone. “W-why are you doing this?”
Hyunjae grumbles, pouting his lips. “Time for me to unravel my evil villain monologue, huh?” He slips a hand under your sweatshirt and pinches the side of your waist. “Well here it is; what you’re dying to know. The first incident was by complete accident, we were simply having a discussion about why he shouldn’t have been staring at your ass while his girlfriend was next to him at Jeong Jaehyun’s end of summer bonfire. The dude got pissed off that I called him out and tried to start a fight, but I shoved him so hard, he fell and hit his head on a rock. I just couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad about it so I left him there like nothing. From then on, anyone who came between us or remotely hurt you in any way wound up on the receiving end of this knife. Funny isn’t it? How you’re the one beneath it this time?”
It all began to fall into place once he laid the cards out on the table for you to read. The guy you ran into Tuesday after class. Poor Kim Mingyu, who just wanted to pass his English final. Your friends not picking up their phones. And supposedly it was all in the name of love.
“Y-you did that for me?”
“Of course, baby,” Hyunjae mutters into the shell of your ear. “I said I’d protect you didn’t I? I just want you all to myself.”
“What the fuck does that possessive bullshit have to do with me? What did it have to do with Juyo or Changmin or Sunwoo?” Eric cries. “Oh god, what about—?”
“Sangyeon, Hoon, Chanhee, Hak? Yeah, those four were taken care of way before my own roommates. You, obviously, were the chosen one this go around. Then it would be Kevin and lastly, Jacob. I planned on stopping after you three unless absolutely necessary.”
“How is any of this fucking necessary? You’re psychotic,” the blonde exclaims, still wriggling in his restraints. “Why would Y/N want you after all of this? Did you really believe she’d never find out about what you’ve done?”
Hyunjae glides the smooth edge of the blade against your skin and releases you from his grip, but takes a hold of your wrist, placing the handle in your grasp. He urges you forward, closer to Eric. “If she was scared of me, don’t you think she would’ve tried harder to escape me? Didn’t even blink when I held the knife to her neck.”
The brunette kisses your temple and you watch the fear in Eric’s eyes morph into defeat. “After everything we’ve been through? I’ve known you since eighth grade, Y/N. Eighth fucking grade. And this is how it ends?”
“H-he loves me,” you stutter, glancing at Hyunjae. “Don’t you?”
“You don’t kill your best friends out of love, Y/N! He’s insane! Please, don’t let him get into your head. You’re not that kind of person.” Eric attempts to reason.
Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you were. Who knows? That didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that Hyunjae loved you. He loved you so much that he’d kill for you. Over and over and over again.
It was kind of comical that you loved him all the same. You, too, would kill for him. Over and over and over again.
© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz smut#the boyz hyunjae#tbz#tbz x reader#tbz smut#tbz hyunjae#lee hyunjae#lee hyunjae x reader#lee hyunjae smut#hyunjae#hyunjae x reader#hyunjae smut#juyeonszn
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dear john
elijah hewson x singer!reader
(ex!charles leclerc cause hes a hot red flag)
plot: its giving friends to strangers to friends again to lovers 🫶🏼
face claim: laufey <3
warning: spelling mistakes
authors note: this is for the lovely anon who requested a speak now inspired smau ! Hope this is okay?!? I was tempted by doing something on the vibe of speak now the song but imma think on it 🫡
yourusername
liked by charlesleclerc and others
yourusername wow last night on tour was something special 😢 to everyone who sangs my songs back to me and everyone who's supported my little dreams, I LOVE YOU.
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lucydacus killing it !
yourusername luv you <333
phoebebridgers voice of an ANGEL
yourusername ooh stop im blushinggg
charlesleclerc beautiful as always mon ange
ynfan1 post concert blues are toooo real
wagsandstuff
liked by ynfan1 and others
wagsandstuff huh that doesn't look like yourusername to us.... did the couple of 3 years break up without telling us??
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ynfan1 nooooooo that girl on twitter was right ah
ynandcharlesshipper charlessss man don't do this
charlesfan she was always feeding off of him
ynfan2 she has her own career you do know that right? she a really popular singer
ynfan2 not charles cheating on our QUEEN
yourusername just unfollowed charlesleclerc
yourusername just added to their story!
lol gonna go heal my heart I guess lol
replies:
yourmum awh my beautiful girl :( glad you're coming home 💘
↳ can't wait to see you mam
yourbestfriend men are literal pigs.
phoebebridgers he's an idiot, here for you if you need anything
elijahhewson hey I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, but the lads and I are always here for you. I should've been better at keeping in touch, but I'm so sorry this happened to you.
↳ hey E, missed you! I'm just as much at fault, guess we all just got so busy with tours (both so successful heheh). where abouts in the world are you? I'm heading home for awhie maybe we could all catch up?
↳ elijahhewson deadly! myself, ryan and josh are home and bobby is back next week, call around whenever
inhalerfanaccount
liked by inhalerfan1 and others
inhalerfanaccount did you guys know that yourusername is friends with inhaler??? I found all of these oldies while lurking her insta !
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inhalerfan1 bless they're so young, they all must of been friends during school !
inhalerfan2 crazy to think they've all become so successful
ynfan1 wow my two worlds colliding
ynfan2 I've always secretly hoped yn and eli would get together
inhalerfanaccount friends to strangers to friends to lovers hits soooo hard
yourusername
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yourusername time is a terrifying thing..
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yourmam I could probably find an even earlier pic...
bobbyskeetz I beg please no
inhalerfan1 pleaseeeeee
elijahhewson smash x4
joshjenkinson_ the gang getting back together has 2024 winninggg
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ynfan1 yesss bitch remind that silly boy who drives in circles of all the hot friends you have !!!
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ynfan2 hahahah eli woke up and choose chaos
yourusername
liked by phoebebridgers and others
yourusername turning all this heartbreak into something good ! dear john is the rawest I've ever been in my songwriting, treat her with love x
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ynfan1 so so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing
lucydarcus you're a wonder
ryanmcmahon_15 sobbing uncontrollably and ready to fight him
bobbyskeetz you good bro ?
charlesfan1 tough day to be a charles fan
ynfan2 omg those lyrics are HEARTBREAKING
inhalerfanupdates
liked by eliswife and others
inhalerfanupdates WHO HAS THIS MAN SO SMILEY???
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inhalerfan1 FOR REAL?? hes usually so moody
elijahhewson posted to their close friends!
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yourusername pure stalker when did you take this pic??
vogue
liked by yourusername and others
vogue with just days before the release of her highly anticipated spohmore album we chatted to yourusername about love, loss and all things in between;
" you dont realise how easy love can be until you're with the right person. its the most annoying thing to hear when you dont have it but some how I was fortunite enough to discover"
find out what else the singer told us at the link in our bio !
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yourusername THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME
ynfan1 shes so happy and in love
ynfan2 how can one person be so talented, smart AND intelligent
charlesfan1 eww cant believe charles used to date her!
ynfan3 love how shes not petty like the leclerc fangirlies clearly still are..
yourusername
liked by elijahhewson and others
yourusername a year and a half ago I had my heartbroken, felt completed untethered and so so confused. today I give you my pride and joy!
this album features songs I wrote as a sobbing mess, some I wrote while I was healing and finally some I wrote after I opened my eyes and embraced what I had all along.
I love them all, I love everyone who worked on it with me and I escially love you.
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yourusername
liked by lucydarcus and others
yourusername one single thread of gold tied me to you <3
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elijahhewson hell was the journey
yourusername but it brought me heaven.
bobbyskeetz gross
yourusername child
joshjenkinson_ my parents
yourmam my favourite pair !
evehewson sobbing it was always meant to be
phoebebridgers the sweetest love for the sweetest soul
(liked by elijahhewson and yourusername)
ynfan1 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
finished
authors note: ahh im a broken record with the friends from home trope but its my favourite 🥲 hope you all enjoy, please as always let me know what you think!!
#inhaler band#elijah hewson imagine#inhaler dublin#elijah hewson fanfic#elijah hewson x reader#elijah hewson#fake instagram#fake insta post
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