#this has been a shitpost
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i got the job 🥳
#ten minutes from home :)#and working in the same classroom as my friend and mentor#so relieved now all i need to do is quit the job i havent started yet lol#this has been a shitpost
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You know what? Screw all the other ‘svss from *important person*’s perspective’. I want the entire plot of scum villain from Ming Fan’s perspective. I want to witness first hand the confusion of why his Shizun suddenly decided that he liked Luo Binghe. I want to see him watch the short little kid he used to kick around grow up to be the most powerful being in the three realms AND his shizun’s husband.
Could you imagine the mental gymnastics this kid had to go through to understand how Shen Qingqiu went from treating Luo Binghe like dirt, to praising him all the time? Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if Ming Fan wasn’t a little insane by the end of it all.
#I think he deserves to go a little insane#as a treat#I want more ming fan content#this has been a shitpost#svsss#scumbag self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#ming fan#luo binghe
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Lines I would like Neil Newbon to read as Astarion for no specific reason
1: [Speculatively] Dagger, dagger, dagger... and then fangs.
2: [Bear drunk] (clap, clap) Focus, darling. This isn't about you, it's about me. Though it could be about us...
3: [Annoyed] Colour me surprised. More fucking traps. And of course I have to take care of them...
4: [Muttering] By the sweat of my brow I shalt earn my... blood.
#this has been a shitpost#bg3#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#neil newbon#i like to think i'm funny
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friendly reminder y’all
this man
CANONICALLY called himself “daddy”
and THIS MAN
CANONICALLY (altho not literally) REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS DAD
so um. who’s the real daddy now 🤨🤨🤨🤨
#this has been a shitpost#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#alastor hazbin hotel#hell’s greatest dad#this is why i fear alastor simps
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*appears in your house like a Jehovah's Witness* Do you have a moment to talk about a crackship that turned into an actual ship?
#this has been a shitpost#but actually I love them now#I plan to write a fic about them#criminal case#criminal case save the world#criminal case season 3#criminal case the conspiracy#criminal case season 5#rupert winchester#armand dupont
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hey sorry we trapped your boyfriend in a mobile game ad. he got hit with a basket of venomous snakes, and then they tried to drown him, and then they dropped a load of molten gold over him, but he seems to be doing fine. it’s my turn now and i can totally get him out of there
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Arthur strikes me as the type of shithead who just makes shit up to mess with gullible people. Especially Alfred.
Alfred makes a joke about King Arthur and how Arthur Kirkland was named after him, and not missing a beat completely deadpan, Arthur is like
“You’ve got it the wrong way round, actually. I was always a bit bothered by that to tell you the truth. He was an ugly bugger and didn’t like me one bit.”
“What? Hold up- wait wait wait - he was real?”
“What kind of- of course he was real. I was good friends with his mum, that’s why she named him after me, but he himself was a fucking nuisance.”
“You what - wasn’t his mom supposed to be some kind of evil-“
“Oh posh, that’s what all those propagandist want you to believe. Anti-Anglo nonsense.”
“Anti…”
“I’m Anglo Saxon, lad, Pendragon was a Breton. Wanted to kill me.”
“ w h a t “
“Crooked teeth too, always whistled when he spoke. Really annoying.” Looks up, his brother has entered the room. “Rhys got the worst of it, though, he’s the one who protected the bugger for so long.”
Rhys, glances at Arthur’s deadpan expression, Alfred’s pure confusion, not missing a beat: “oh yeah for sure he was an ass.” And then mouths at Arthur (who??) (King Arthur) (ah) “he was a Breton alright, one of mine, but my god he was an annoying one when he wasn’t being all charismatic to his men. I much preferred Merlin.”
Arthur rolls his eyes where Alfred can’t see and glares at Rhys, who was, in fact, “Merlin”.
Alfred is still reeling. “Sorry, wait, the wizard was real too??? You’re making shit up now, you’re absolutely making shit up.”
“Oh no, it was all real, the stories just got most of it wrong,” Rhys assures him, “the table wasn’t round, anyway, it was an awkwardly long rectangle. Also Arthur was brunette, most people get that wrong.”
“And the magic? Wizard??? dragons???”
“Depends on who you ask,” Arthur deadpans.
Rhys winks at him. Alfred’s eyes look like they might actually leap out of his skull. After some accusations of “fucking with him”, Alfred eventually leaves the room to revisit every mythology book he’s ever read.
“You always make things sound so much more dull than they were,” Rhys complains. Arthur snorts.
“What, and tell him the truth? He wouldn’t believe me. Besides, this is much more fun. The boy doesn’t have a mind for magic, you know that.”
“Mm.”
“Whatever happened to that sword, anyway?”
“I’ve told you, I really did lose it.”
“Jesus, Rhys, only you would lose a goddamn king’s sword,”
“He wasn’t even your king, you appropriating ass—“
“I was practically his godfather.”
“You were a child!”
“God-cousin, then. At any rate, that sword was special-“
“It wasn’t, it was just a plain old hand-me-down-“
“It had perfect balance, and he promised me I could have it if he ever-“
“Oh here we go,”
“Lady of the lake — just because you got your girlfriend to cover your ass because you dropped it in a fucking Llyn—“
“It was stolen,”
“Responsible wizard, my ass—“
“The fae what did it were Saxon, you asshole,”
“I’m glad the humans always make you a decrepit old man, it suits you better.”
“I will turn you into a toad.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
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Birth is rough.
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Sydney: Did you ever stop to think that-
Adrian: No.
#this has been a shitpost#also I'm sure this has been done before lmao#sydrian#sydney sage#adrian ivashkov#bloodlines
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how can you not believe in miracles when the sun literally rises every morning. i will literally never get up early enough to witness that by choice btw but that's not the point ☺️
#witness the beauty of life!!!! i'm not gonna tho but you should#life is so beautiful you guys should experience it#im abt to experience it against my will tho once i start my job#this has been a shitpost
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Finney would probably be that one person who would be eating melatonin gummies and not notice. He would think it would be regular gummies or fruit snacks.
*Finney, laying on the couch and watching the TV eating gummies*
*Gwen, walks into the room *
Gwen : Finney, have you seen the gummies? You know the ones that help you sleep?
Finney : no? Why?
*eats another gummy*
Gwen : ...
Gwen : Finney... what are eating?
Finney : gummies that I found in the pantry?
Gwen : what does the bottle say finney
Finney : *looks at the bottle label that says melatonin*
Finney : *looks at Gwen, and slowly eats another gummy*
Gwen : DON'T EAT MORE DUMBASS!
#finney blake#the black phone#gwen blake#this is basically a shit post#this has been in my head for a while#this has been a shitpost#melatonin gummies yum#the black phone shitpost
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After watching Club Zero, I can finally say:
I've completed Mia Wasikowska's filmography!
...
...
I've completed Mia Wasikowska's filmography...
#I mean I hope that she doesn't actually retires from acting and this post ages badly#oh well#this has been a shitpost#Mia Wasikowska#My Post
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Life is a subscription service
(Things I realised as I prepped my meds this morning)
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the ugly duckling and sk8er boy by avril lavigne have similar plot points
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im in a re watch mode and i have the following thoughts:
terry had a dog??? for some reason i could never see that? for some reason i thought he was very against animals? idk thats probably a headcanon from somewhere
HOW DARE THEY PUT the same music on the scene where paula gets murdered as they put over the i dont do normal gallagher scene?! i have been CONDITIONED by a tune here. i was very confused
putting debbie in a separate home when dcfs took them probably did NOT help her abandonment issues. at all.
generally i think tami is a bit annoying with her holier than thou shit with lip but i do agree with her that they’re situation was not ideal but fine but they should aim a little higher. meet in the middle between gallagher and tamiretti yeah?
she was very funny in the beginning though. im a sucker for banter like that.
ian’s whole being when he held fred at his welcome home party IS EVERYTHING. uncle ian!!!
ian bad talks mickey A LOT in s10. like calm down you ginger giant you aint perfect yourself
mickey wanted to be with ian so bad he hopped into a medical waste bin to break outta prison but he ran guns with his family shortly after he got out??? why? also why the hell did he think terry would help him protect ian? why did terry even want him around?
tbc maybe idk
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