#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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SAY AAH - TOJI FUSHIGURO
A/N: Is it bad that I LIVE for asshole Toji? I like his attitude like ughhhohmmygod
CONTENT WARNING! swearing, degradation. yns a little dumb, small bit of manipulation, cheating, small mention of alcohol/drugs
641 pm Long Beach CA -
''I'm tired of your shit, I'm fucking done Im leaving." you muffled, wiping the tears falling your face onto your shirt showing your smudged brown foundation. a pink duffle bag was held tight in your arms, and you were just throwing anything into it. handfuls of panties, socks, and whatever clothes you saw folded or hanging in front of you.
you two just got back from toji taking you shopping, per usual. while you two are out you ran into one of his 'past' hoes.
532 pm Towne Center Ca -
"Is that my baby daddy?" the strange blonde woman cackled, walking over to your man for a hug. "Fushiiii I miss you" she slurs, clearly of some kind of drug or alcohol. "It's been 2 weeks since you were inside me" the trick smiled, leaning up to whisper in his ear. but you could hear her loud and clear. "okay!" you dropped your shopping bags and stormed out of the mall. the amount of people there you chose to not draw any attention to yourself.
fushiguro looked at you and laughed. "and you're going where? With what car?" he wasn't wrong, but why would you want to admit that? The year you started college you lost shit loads of money before meeting toji. he kept a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and money in your pocket, what're you supposed to do without him?
"uber! or the bus, or I can ask one of my girls to take me I don't know ... I just need to get the fuck away from you." you grabbed your phone, pushing your soon-to-be ex's shoulder before slamming the door on your way out.
819 pm Long Beach CA -
here you were, at a 4-star hotel alone. the floor was piled up with clothes and tissues. you huffed, scrolling through your for you page. the videos toyed with your emotions, each one relating to the situation you're going through. your head jolted up, hearing a slight knock at the door. It was probably DoorDash with the food you previously ordered since hotel food was not within your budget. "coming" you wiped your face from the dried-up tears and kicked over the day clothes you wore.
"are you fucking stupid yn?" you looked up swallowing your spit. your stomach started turning inside out at the sight of him. his dark green eyes, his thick black hair, his full lips; why does he have to be such an asshole?
he pushed the door open, moving you out of the way. you looked at him, your eyebrows furrowed.
"how did you know I was here?" the tall man turned his back to you, eyeing the nightstand and opening the drawer out of curiosity. "tracked you" he answered nonchalantly.
"what? toji who do you think you are? you have zero fucking right to stalk me-" you were cut off by the tall man laughing in your face, "zero right?" he teased "I'm the one paying for that phone you have. I can do whatever the fuck I want yn, you're the one who depends on me." he huffed before sitting on the edge of the bed, manspreading as he toyed with the drawstring of his dark sweatpants.
"matter a fact, cmere. since you wanna tell me what I can and can't do" he grabbed a hold of your arm, pulling you close to him. the eye contact was strong, at least his was. he placed down on the floor gesturing you to get on your knees. you followed, of course you did. why are you doing this to yourself? maybe you were overreacting, maybe he was going through something. toji can be a good man, well when he wants to be.
"you not gon talk much when you got dick in your mouth" toji laid back, putting the weight on the palms of his hands resting on the bed. you could see the bulge in his pants, making you gasp. you always forgot how big … thick … long he was. you placed your hands at the hem of his pants, pulling his fully erected dick out. the precum coating his tip and part of his shaft, you bit your lip at the sight.
"yawnn, hurry up" fushiguro rolled his head back in annoyance. his hands gripped the back of your neck, forcing your full lips onto his lap. big, it was so big, too big even. your tongue danced around his tip, as your lips coated his shaft. hands, your hands are what you need. but he hated that. toji enjoyed seeing you struggle to take his dick. how helpless you look fitting something far too big into your mouth.
"that's right, get it wet. You wanna make me come don't you?" tojis' hand grazed the back of your head, curls running through his fingertips. he groaned at the view in front of him, bucking his up forcing his dick farther into your mouth. "yeaaa … tell me what to do again" he laughed.
your eyes rolled back as your freshly done nails dug themselves into his thighs. his tip hit the back of your throat, profusely with force. you shut your eyes tight, a tear rolling down your face as you can feel your mouth being stretched. at this point, you were soaked. he was always rough with you, but never to a point like this. you felt your clit beating, the wetness spreading to make a mess between your thighs.
"f … fuck yn, I'm gon nut. Is that okay with you, since you wanna be in charge of me n … shit" he groaned, slowing down the pace of your head. before you could moan a response, you felt his warm liquid release into your mouth. "shittt" toji bit his bottom lip, pulling out. he smiled, eyeing the string of cum and spit mixture from his tip to your glossened, puffy lips. "lemme see you swallow it" he cooed, grabbing your chin between his index and thumb fingers. you separated your lips, showing your empty wet mouth. "you so fuckin nasty girl, fuck" his thumb grazed your bottom lip as you tilted your head up, his dark eyes meeting yours. "turn around, I want you to keep talking shit with this dick in your stomach."
#toji smut#x black reader#fem reader#x black fem reader#black fanfic writer#black reader#jujutsu kaisen#toji x reader#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x you#fushiguro toji#toji zenin#jjk x reader#jjk smut
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The burning Fate
Post Seabound/season 15
Warning - Attempted suicide, cursing, past overdosing/drowning (attempt), self harm, implied eating disorder, self gaslighting
Heads up -
- i hc lloyd as Genderfluid, in this their pronouns will be they/them
- Lloyd and brad are dating (brad is two years older then lloyd- so it’s not illegal or smth and like also lloyd is 17) also Brad is this kid who was in like season 1 and he went to darklys with Lloyd :)
- i hc Lloyd and autistic, i kinda hint to it in one part (also im not autistic- but i have autistic friends, and if i do smth wrong ever, pls tell me)
- also im not saying if you have any mental disorder or smth your stupid- just ppl think that, when your rlly not-
- also i have no idea how to comfort- and idk how to write i either- so yea-
Lloyd has been up on top of this building for about an hour. An hour numbly looking down below into the busy street as the darkness surrounds them. Some lights flash into their faces from time to time. But it doesn’t matter to Lloyd, this will be their last few minutes.
Ever since Nya left Lloyd's life has gone back to hell. First of all, Kai and Jay will always be yelling at each other, no matter how loud Lloyd made the music, they could still hear their older brothers yelling at each other. Most of the time it'd just get to the point where it was too much for Lloyd and they just couldn’t hold it anymore and cry, they couldn’t help but get overwhelmed by it all. It’s all their fault though. It’s their fault. They're a horrible leader. Nobody wants a stupid, disabled kid to be their savior.
After nya left the ninja, Lloyd also started to relapse… just like after the sons of garmadon and harumi. They locked themself in their room all the time, never coming out. Not eating, and they would get the extra razor that they have to… hurt themself. They have the scars all over them, not just their wrists. Their thighs, shoulders. Just really anywhere that they can hide it. Where they can hide how hard everything really was for them. They had to hide, they couldn’t be seen as weak. They’re the green ninja, they’re the one who has to protect everyone.
This isn’t the first time they tried to kill themself.. Lloyd thought as they looked over the edge of the tall building. A month after Nya left them to merge with the ocean, they tried to drown themselves, but Kai tried to find them and stopped them before it was too late. They were forced to stay in the mental hospital for a few weeks, it wasn’t because the ninja thought that they were psycho or anything. Just they tried to kill themselves. When they got to be sent back home, they snuck out one night. No word or anything. And just ran away. So they’ve been living with Brad, Gene, and Sally for about 7 months.
The other time Lloyd tried to end it all was after they moved in with brad. They got a lot of pills and just chugged them all down, it worked. But Sally found them passed out on the floor, and called the ambulance before Lloyd actually died. After they were sent home, Brad kept a close eye on his lover.
Lloyds honestly is kinda embarrassed and disappointed in themselves for failing twice to kill themselves. Well… is it them..? because really, they could’ve done it, but then people keep finding them. They should really try to do it when no one is around or anything. But hey… no one is around right now… just five more simple steps.. and all the pain will be over, they’ll no longer feel the stinging sensation in their arms or thighs after this. Because they’ll be gone. Just like everyone always wanted. For the blonde brat , that was Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, to be dead.
Funny thing is right now they're not even fully blonde. They dyed their pink with red tips. It makes them think of valentines though, not going to lie. But does it matter? no. Nothing matters. Everything is all useless. All that matters is that in a few seconds, they’ll be free. Free from being the green ninja, free from being the leader and the reason your team fell apart. Free from destiny. Maybe that’s why they’re still alive. Because destiny needs a puppet to pick sticks at, to try to entertain itself. Fuck destiny, man. Fuck it.
Lloyd lets their mind wander as they take one step closer to the edge, one step closer to death.
They think about when they went to The Wailing Alsps, with Clancee. This snake pirate, who was very familiar and lloyd feels like they’ve seen before. And it wasn’t just because of when the whole thing with chen was going on.. some other time… A time Lloyd can’t put their finger on. But anyways When Lloyd and Clancee went to the wailing alsps and almost died, they thought of kai. How Kai was always there for them, and was like the brother and father Lloyd never had. Lloyd is the one who’s leaving, just like last time. But… this is what Kai wanted… The night Lloyd ran away they and Kai got into a fight… Not Jay and kai. But Lloyd and Kai. It was in the heat of the moment when Kai yelled that he wished he never saved Lloyd from that volcano. Which right after Kai realized what he said to lloyd. But it was too late. The damage was done.
Four more steps…
Three more steps…
Fuck it all. Lloyd thought. Fuck. Destiny can go find some other blonde bitch to do its bidding. In Lloyd's last few seconds they just felt rage. The closer they got to the edge the more they got angry.
The last few years their anger has gotten worse. But it gives Lloyd something to think about. It lets Lloyd actually feel something. Sometimes it’s like they're not angry at all, but the next they’re fuming. Like right now.
Like how right now just the thought of Garmadon makes them want to go smash their “fathers” face into a fucking wall. Or Harumi. Definitely Harumi. She messes everything up and then just goes and dies just like that. At least she’s out of their life. even if they can never stop thinking about her… Or the version of Harumi in The Prime Empire game Lloyd and the other ninjas were trapped in.
Lloyd took a deep breath in through the noise and out the mouth.
Taking another step closer.
Two more steps…
One more step…
Lloyd looks all the way down. Heh… So this is it.. The end of the line. Maybe i’ll get to see my real father.
Just as Lloyd took the last step they swore they heard the door slam open to the top of the building… and some yelling..? But all Lloyd could feel now was the air in their face, the wind messing with their hair. And… It stopped…? did they fall that fast to the ground..?
No…no… No! why.. NononoNO!
They feel a hand gripping tightly on the wrist. A familiar voice yelling for them to stay. A sound that is almost like someone sobbing..?
Lloyd hazily looks up to the person who’s stopping them. Only to see Brad, His eyes red and bloodshot, Tears running down his face as he finally manages to pull Lloyd up. Brad falls to the ground and wraps his arms around his partner. Sobbing and hugging them tightly. Lloyd gets some anger inside of them because Brad stopped them. But they can’t help but just stare blankly as Brad sobs that he almost lost lloyd.
“I-I…”
Lloyd tries to get anything out to brad. But they can’t. They just feel numb again, as Brad holds them.
After a few moments Brad gets it under control and wipes at his eyes. He then stands up and tightly holds Lloyd's hand, it doesn’t hurt. But it doesn’t matter. Brad waits for lloyd to stand up before they say
“I… I love you… I’m sorry.. I’m sorry Lloyd.”
Brad doesn’t seem to know what to say at this moment. I mean… What can you say after you find your partner almost killing themselves…? ‘Why?’ ‘What about me?’ ‘Don’t leave?’ ‘People are going to miss you’ ‘I will miss you’ No… None of it seems right… Brad just stays quiet and looks down at Lloyd, love in his eyes.
He hugs Lloyd again tightly and then lets go. Tightly holding Lloyd's hand.
The door to the top was still open from when Brad came running up here to get to Lloyd before it was too late.
Brad closed the door and walked down the stairs with lloyd.
Lloyd just blocked everything out and thought… They were almost free.. Free from it all. But they couldn’t have it. They can’t die apparently. Damn. Destiny really doesn't want Lloyd to die.
Fuck.
#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#brad tudabone#greenflowershipping#forgivenshipping#greenflower#postseabound#postseason15#autistic lloyd#ninjago fanfiction#my fic#tw attempted suicide#tw#depressed lloyd garmadon#writer is dyslexic#pls dont bully me
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ranting about the site i work for (look away boops)
tbh the work im paid for is fine, it's the stuff im not paid for that drives me nuts, mostly the discord, which i hate
there's this constant balance that needs to be struck between not overreacting to 13yo boys being edgelords (bc a reaction is what they want) + not allowing the server to become a cesspit of 13yo boys being edgelords, and after 4y doing this i struggle to tell where the line is. i think banning too soon is a bad idea bc of the fact that at least the mods of the server are all pretty progressive + willing to argue with anyone who fex starts talking about how good andrew tate is, and removing the young boys from this kind of environment seems counter-productive if the goal is to at least partially influence them to be good men. and i think most people go through an edge phase or similar in their teens, and reacting to this with contempt + fury seems ... again, counterproductive? does shaming anyone for stupid jokes actually work? (depending on what the level of edge is - there's "edge" and there's "edge" you know. like yesterday someone posted a lovely video of the human aftermath of a grenade, with all the gore and viscera that that implies, and i obviously didn't waste any time wringing my hands over banning that one)
the above is also why i struggle to tell where the line is bc i have seen so much horrific shit over the past few years (up to and including literal CP that i had to report to legal) that my "normal" line has been moved quite far in the wrong direction. like once you see CP shared on the site you work for i promise you that you will be a changed person, there's absolutely no going back after that
but then i also think the current situation is so bad that i personally would prefer stricter guidelines, but none of the other mods agree w/ me so like there's really nothing i can do about that, like i cant just do what i want unfortunately
it just feels like there's absolutely no winning? like im either too much of an SJW or im not enough of an SJW depending on who you ask and im just like: oh my god lmfao it's exhausting. like i've been called both a raging feminist etc etc + someone contributing to the sexist environment of chess on the same server!! one of my best friends and one of the mods who actually takes the time to speak calmly and sensibly to anyone spouting nonsense (id rather just ban them but u know i respect his effort) quit the server yesterday bc he just cannot deal w/ it anymore + i fully understand but i wish he was still there for my own selfish reasons
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Weird introject/pseudomemories vent below
Inthrum: Im kinda in like this. Paralysis. Sorta. Im just so, so sad and grief ridden. I am missing my last life, im missing who i was back then, and most of all I'm really missing the people i knew. The people. Dan, hes sorta here. And Cadance. A few others. But Alder. That "sorta" hurts a lot. It hurts way more than i ever EVER would have expected it to.
Is it my this life parental issues, the reminders of losing him last life, or the jarring emptiness that comes with a fragment headmate that is making me fall apart? Is this just the straw on my back? Am i just experiencing the normal weight of emotions one would experience facing this sort of thing? Or am i mentally ill? Delusional? Focused on the wrong things? Maladaptive daydreaming is in our history... particularly mine would make sense. Why couldnt sherl front earlier? Wouldnt he be better for up front?
Lol. I dont know. I feel like mentally i know the answer to all this. That its all okay. Like, that maybe Alder's going to eventually figure out his memories and feel okay and attached enough to be fully formed in this life. That we could have a real conversation outside of music, or signs, or memories. Or that weird amalgamation of energy levitating in mindspace that looks like him. Feels like half of him. Doesnt feel all the way alive. Maybe he isnt, maybe he hasn't been.
Why didn't he cure his lycanthropy? It's not his fault, i hold no resentment, and i understand in part. But it made his genetics hard to treat in the time we had. All the raging he'd done. All the work, and all the unknowing time. It passed. And so did he and i had to experience that regardless of anything before and afterwards. I had to live that.
And now, i was doing the math today. Alder said he was 33 when i came to him, and the first birthday i actually understood and celebrated with him was 35. He was 67 when he passed. Did i really only get like, 32 years with him? Only. We dont even onow what 32 feels like in this life yet. Flip the numbers. 23. Still 9 years to go. In 9 years ill be the age i was then, in that stupid hospital room with a view. Thata not exactly how he wanted to go, but better than a facility that gave us a .09% survival rate. I would have had him die up there in my distress, but he asked to be taken off high tech support so he could be on his own planet at the time it happened.
And i remember fighting about it. I didn't make it easy, and bless Alder he talked me down. A lot. And then he wasn't there to soothe me. He told me he was never sorry for dying, he didn't want to leave me wondering later in life if i should be guilty for making him feel like that.
He said thank you for being strong, so we can find each other in the afterlife. Strong energies gravitate to one another, and he said he felt stronger than ever with me. That man really loved me, he did. He showed it and he proved it and he did. Again and again, and he still does. I miss him. And I've never seen his face.
But right now, every day for the past just about week, I've been overwhelmed with memories of this person. This guy. Random guy. Could have been anyone. I remember my first revealed memory that he was a person the christmas lights in the truck! And then the next memory i got, when he met me. When he saved me. And then he saved me. And then he saved me again. Again. Again. Again.
He showed me how to be after i didnt get that chance. When i was cast out by the beings who birthed me. Not family. Never was. Just the group of strangers who used me and cast me out. Abandoned on the side of the road. He gave me the chance. Grabbed my hand firmly and gave it to me. Pushed it into my chest.
He walked me step by step by step into the light and he showed me how to feel the grass under my shoes and breathe the air. All of it literally and metaphorically. He was there. Theres pieces of him here, but such is the way of finding paradise, then watching it go away to move on for the next life, one of pain and nightmare. You have to carry these memories into places no one will bring you lessons. I have to remember him to survive. And i dont know how to do that.
#introject#fictive#osdd#actually plural#pseudomemories#pseudotrauma#grief#vent#negative#personal#do not reblog#ok to interact#Alder Bickerman#Inthrum Bickerman#system babbles#system stuff#headmates#past life#found family#father figure#spirituality#loss#depression
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massive train of thought, just need to get it out:
i still don’t know what to do about work like everything has a pro and a con i want to work in my department so bad but if that means the next two weeks are gonna effect my mental heath that much its not worth it not only is there no way of knowing if ill be kept on the tema after the season i still don’t know when ill be moving i don’t understand why there are no jobs hiring that need my skill set i thought no one wanted to work so where the fuck are the job applications huh this all feels like a punch in the face i am a good worker i love organizing but for some reason these jobs knowing that keep taking me out of positions i they’ve in only to put me in a spot where i don’t do well so it stresses me out i am in such a life shift right now but i feel like im stuck in the past living in the house i did in high school and working a job i took during my first gap year i keep leaving but then i get scared and go right back to what i know i love upstate new york but i can’t stay here any longer i feel like every day is the same the only days i feel like things are different or could change is when im out of town or super high i just don’t get anything right now i need to start working towards my career but working 33 hours a week is not giving me enough time to do this the only time i feel like myself is when i have artistic things going on which is why i work in the makeup store in the first place i know no one wants to work a meaningless job but i can’t mentally make myself do this i have to get that stupid degree even though god i don’t want to go back to college moving to vegas and studying there sounds so scary but i need to do something anywhere i really want to study is out of reach due to money i wish i didn’t worry about it so much my mom is telling me she would rather me work on my art and volunteer before i leave but then i have no money to create the art or go anywhere or do anything looking for a job seems useless because no one in walking distance is hiring i still can’t drive an di can’t even start to learn until i move because its snowing here and im already so scared to drive i really don’t think ice will make me feel better i wish i could have done so many things differently so many things i did could have been prevented if i just grew the fuck up i fully think this all leads back to me not being in the same mind set as my peers i haven’t had my first kiss i hadn’t smoked weed until i was twenty one i didn’t party until i was 21 and i feel so behind i feel like im still in high school it wasn’t even covid like so many other people i was in college when covid hit and the fall semester of 2020 i was fully in person i don’t know what to do to fix this i know i need to see someone but i can’t get into a therapist or anything the only way to get pushed up on a waitlist is to go to the hospital but i am trying to avoid that at all costs i literally don’t know what to do i feel like leaving this job on such bad terms is self destructive but i can’t keep doing this i dropped out in september because of a mental breakdown and everyone in my family is acting like that didn’t happen like im being dramatic now i can’t physical tell them what is going on in my head because dear lord i hate crying and being vulnerable its gross to me and makes me want to puke i just feel so lost i need to start over every time i say that someone says you go everywhere with yourself and like i get that but i need a new environment i can’t keep feeling like this forever or forever isn’t gonna be very long i might be delusional but i dint think i want that much out of life all i want is a tiny one bedroom aparentemente with my dog a job in the field im studying and a car so i can travel and see new things that is so much less than what the stupid american dream promised i truly feel like none of that will ever happen when i see the future its black there is nothing there i dont see a way to get out of this and i have no way of getting the resources to see a way out of this im not even gonna lie if i didn’t like my family
and if i didn’t have my dog i would not even be writing this but i feel so trapped i don’t know what to do i feel like im always letting people down because i know what i can do i know what i want to do and i feel like no one sees my vision i had originally wanted to use social media to work my way up but i’ve grown to hate it i’ve grown to despise tik tok and the constant shelling out for products the ramped consumerism its all making me sick i dont want to have to promot myself online what even happened to hanging up posters for shows what happened to word of mouth what happened to small bands playing local places its a thing that has been pushed out of small towns and now its only in the cities as much as i love my small town life i can’t do this i need community maybe that’s what im having an issue with outside of school i have no one i am alone i can’t get to anywhere my friends are like i could in nyc or both portlands that’s why im trying to head to vegas start new they have a growing punk scene and a weird amount of goths i feel like im always between things i feel like i can’t build a commingle here because i dont see a life for myself here i want to go somewhere where i can grow with a community why would i build a name for myself somewhere and then leave that’s where im at god im just so sick of everything and how everything works the theme of this is that im confused and i dont know what to do i feel so lost so alone and i am making myself sick with all of this shit when i was little i wanted to be a pop star because i knew i was already an artist i want to be creative i want to show the world i can do anything i can be the next great but i dont see a world where that type of figure exists i know now success is easier to get but stars are gone anyone can be famous in a corner i feel like no one is gonna have lasting power too much over saturation of a market so much nostalgia bait god i just want it to stop i want to the world to stop for five fucking seconds so we can catch up fuck covid fuck working fuck having no rights i just dont understand anything i want to learn i want to succeed but it feels so out of reach nothing seems possible i dont understand how people my age have degrees have kids whats so wrong with me that i can’t get there why am i the one having issues did being poor not hinder me enough there are so many what ifs that could lead me to never being able to support myself so many things can be pulled out from under me fuck im so fucking lost i have to quit that job i have to put everything i can into my art but how will i support myself until i move how will i have money for the move what am i gonna do i want to cry saving money isn’t something poor people get to do its just not i want to bash my head against a wall until it all stops i can eat i feel so sick all i want to do is to disappear for this go away fro a while and come back when things feel more hopeful when things feel light again no matter what i am in new york until february and i dont know what to do to make the most of this maybe i do need to take the time to not work but that puts such a burden on everyone im gonna delete instagram from my phone like i did with tiktok and try to focus on doing what i want with less outside  influences FUCK as im deleting it i see someone who went to a school i dropped out of photographed lana damnit i know they aren’t my age but like come on i just feel so stuck so trapped in an echo chamber everyone i know agrees with me which i get and i appraise but fuck we all need a back bone im gonna delete my youtube make a new one seek out new stuff im just so over this i need to clean out everything i can start as new as i can now delete emails re edit my pinterest boards go thought who im following and unfollow people i need to make this clean and correct and what i want god what the hell im just so ahhhhhhhhhh maybe i will go on to be a famous photographer maybe ill become a teacher maybe ill go into tattooing maybe ill be a curator maybe ill own a little record store maybe ill go to beauty
school maybe at school i’ll find my twin flame not in the cult way by the way and my whole life will change maybe maybe maybe i just dont know okay let me just write what i WANT to do as of this moment i want to work on my art and move out west the only reason i want to stay at my job is because i like my department and the people i work with also money is nice but i can always apply to makeup store in vegas once i learn how to drive i think of everything as per in it even though nothing is minus my tattoos still waiting to regret one when i get to vegas i wont be able to bring my dog for a little which really hurts especially because she is sleeping so cute next to me i have had to leave her for a coupes months before and i know she loves my mom and grandma but i know she misses me when i have to leave god it makes me feel like shit but ill look for a job in waking distance from my aunts place and if i can’t find one ill have to take the scary bus but who knows i’ll work PART TIME not this 33 hours a week that is more than i was in school in nyc that is not part time to me and ill see if my aunt will tech me to drive and once im a little better behind the wheel we can get me a driving teacher from there i will stay in vegas for six months to become a nevada citizen and the go to unlv for fine arts i want to be in school i want to learn i want this degree because the more im forced into the real world the more i learn that in order to be taken seriously you need a degree hopefully my grandparents or mom will move out there like planned and i can pay rent to them them so i can have a stable place and be able to have my dog with that ill start saving for a car and then my own place if my other family doesn’t join i want to work on getting into the vegas scene not only art but music i can start shooting underground shows like i did in new york im sure someone in vegas needs weird photography maybe i could get a job photographing at some tourist trap or wedding chapel i could find someone to learn to tattoo under or maybe someone will take me on as a photo appurtenance god i need to work on my art i haven’t had a single good shoot idea since starting my job im just so focused on what i could do at work what is there to tidy and what new products feel like i want to work somewhere that i dont dream about somewhere that doesn’t cause me so much stress that it makes me physically sick but i feel like im letting down my meager there she has been begging for me to come back since i had to quit to go to school this whole thing has made me so fucking upset i mean of course im writing this install long nonsense piece on my tumblr blog in the year 2023 like of course im upset i just dont know what’s left i have such big dreams but at the same time i feel like those dreams are wasted and i dont have time to do anything im sick of doom and gloom i want to be happy i want to feel normal i want to be just like other girls i want to fall in love i want a home i want a fulfilling job i want the life i know i deserve.
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huge vent feel free to ignore
okay day is now becoming kinda bad day esp with everything that’s happened recently i haven’t worked in like two weeks bc quit old job to go to new job bc i got a car which is literally everything i worked for at old job like saving 550-650 per check so i could get a car and then i got in an accident so i have no car which is the whole reason i went to new job interview and got the job that o was so happy and so excited for and now i have no car so i got all used to having my own time and doing things in my own not asking if i can be dropped of here or if i can be brought there i could just do it on my own and i was able to see bf twice a week instead of once bc he wasn’t the only one driving all the way to me and back every week but now i get more info on new job just to find out my kinda ex friend at this point that works there told me ppl wear jewelry and have their nails and lashes done blah blah so i give myself a fresh set of acrylic nails this past weekend, i would have had lashes but that was the day of the accident just for the email to say no perfume/cologne, no jewelry whatsoever (rings of any sort, earrings, bracelets,watches) no makeup, no hair or eyelash extensions, no acrylic nails or nail polish, and above all that said that if you violate any part of the dress code you’ll be sent home and have training rescheduled for the next week which mine was already rescheduled bc the class i was supposed to be in on the 5th got too full so they moved me to the 12th now i have to remove a basically full fresh set of acrylics and take off all of my jewelry including my ring from my boyfriend which means the most to me i literally cried the one day i forgot to put it back on a couple weeks ago after washing my cat and then take out all 3 sets of earrings i have and possibly lose the 3rd holes entirely that i only got making sure with that friend that i would be able to wear at least just regular plain earrings and not have to take them out and she said yes they shouldn’t say anything so not only was i basically fully lied to but i have only a few days to figure out what to do with all my stuff idk if they’ll let me in with clear piercing retainers or not i’ll have to see how they look cause i’m not sure if i’ll have my hair up or not this is all so disappointing and upsetting with the fact that i’m pretty sure all week i’m gonna have to uber home too cause they’re doing it on a tuesday when my regular schedule has me off from sunday -tuesday and alternating wednesdays i’m happy i have the job and it’s a better working place than the last job i had especially since i know i won’t be doing 3diff ppls jobs and playing manager through the week but i wish the stupid accident didn’t happen and my stupid friend wasn’t so stupid if i can even call her a friend at this point we had this not rlly huge but idk falling out argument whatever that she complains how she feels like i don’t want hang out with her anymore or that i spend all my time with my bf who i’ve only been able to see 2-3 times a week IF IM LUCKY but normally once a week on tuesdays for over a year but she thinks i spend all my time and days off with him when he lives 45mins away from me or that i don’t wanna hang out with her when she leaves me on seen and delivered for weeks and at time and she thinks it’s like a hehe oopsies i did to that didn’t i like it’s so annoying and irritating i’ve actually fully stopped talking to her bc of it she said she was gonna be better about it and she hasn’t changed anything so i just stopped talking to her fully because it’s sad and annoying esp seeing as we were best friends since we were like 10-11 and now she just pretty much lies or pays so little attention and practically ignores me everything g is so upsetting recently i just wish i still had my car and never made that stupid appointment and that i had better friends when at this point my only friend is my boyfriend if he even really counts and maybe one other person but we can’t even really hang out now cause i don’t have a car anymore
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hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work
Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.
Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche
Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?
Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!
A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!
Link for Part 2
Stay With Me
Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.
And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.
“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.
Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.
“Play with me!”
Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”
But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.
As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.
Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.
“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.
But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.
It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?
“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”
“My parents dont care about me!”
Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”
And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.
“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”
“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.
Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.
Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.
He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.
But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.
With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…
“Hm? Whats this?”
Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.
A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.
“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”
Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”
“Shut it!”
But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.
Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.
Inazuma was beginning to change.
“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”
The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.
It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.
“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”
Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.
The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”
You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”
“And you havent.”
Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.
“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”
He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”
You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”
It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.
But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.
“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”
In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.
And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.
_-_-_-_
You didnt expect to see him again.
Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.
With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.
Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”
You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”
He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.
“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”
Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”
“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”
You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”
“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”
Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’
Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.
“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”
Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”
“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.
Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”
“No I’m not.”
You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.
“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.
“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.
He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.
Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.
Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.
And he couldn't have you moving could he?
#genshin impact#genshin headcanons#genshin oneshot#genshin fanfic#genshin scaramouche#genshin scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x reader#genshin impact x reader#cynshealthysfw#genshin fluff
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No Way Home and No Way Forward
(This is a Peter Parker fic, and It does contain SPOILERS, so do what you will with that info)
Another date night forgotten by your boyfriend of one year. Peter Parker was everything you had dreamed of in a boyfriend. Having met him in your janky apartment, you living three doors down from him, you knew it was meant to be.
He was hesitant at first to start forming this close relationship with you, holding back due to his past. The past he can’t seem to let go.
You knew that Peter was Spider-Man, he felt comfortable enough to confide in you and explain what had happened with the big fight at the liberty statue and how he got there in the first place. You knew about the botched spell and the only way that he could fix it resulting in everyone not knowing who Peter Parker was.
There were days through where you felt as if you were helping him move past his past. He dwelled so much on Mj and Ned that it drove him into a depression. You always tried to help him rekindle with them but that doesn’t mean you weren’t selfish with your feelings.
You knew if he fully rekindled with Mj, you would be out of the picture. It was hard to let him go when you felt like you finally found your person.
The apartment door jams open, the lock being rusty and faulty. You slam it shut behind you with fury.
Peters in the small kitchen leaning against the counter with a styrofoam cup in his hand- the one from Mj’s diner.
“You missed dinner, again. The third time this month Peter.” You snap. He looks up from his cup, the small smile he had drifting away as he looked at your dressed figure. You were wearing a bright red dress, one that matched the festive decorations around New York City.
“We had reservations at our favorite restaurant and you missed it.” You say again. He sets the cup down and moves to the living room. “Peter talk to me!”
“She knows.” Is all he says. You freeze in spot.
“She as in Mj?” You ask.
“Yeah.” He turns to look at you. His eyes were clouded with emotion, hiding his true feelings.
“Ok, well that’s good…you guys can be friends again.” Your tone is hopeful though you both knew what you said wasn’t what he was intending.
He’s silent. Looking everywhere but at you. “You guys can be friends again? Right?”
“Y/N.” His tone gives it all away and your feel your world shatter. Here in your apartment you shared with the love of your life with the tree you both decorated together while drinking boozy eggnog, with the bed that you’ve made love in, with the photographs of trips you went on together.
“Oh.” You look away now because it’s you look at him, you’ll cry.
“She wants to give us a try. She wants to…” He doesn’t have the right words to say to make this situation better.
You ignore him and walk into your shared bedroom. Your bed was messy from this mornings frivolous activities. His shelf of lego builds were set up neatly, some of the set ups you built together.
Sitting on your side of the bed, you look at the framed picture of you two on the beach just weeks ago. The tears slowly dribble down your face and the sobs ensue.
“Im sorry.” His voice is quiet as he sits down next to you. You swat his hand away as it goes to rest on your shoulder.
“No you’re not and I know you’re not. This is all you’ve wanted!” You yell moving away from him. You go to stand by his desk where the stupid sewing machine sat with all of his GED books.
He looks at you confused. “I don’t know what you’re getting at?”
“You’ve always loved Mj, understandably so, but then you had me. You had me and-and we were doing so well but you could never get over Mj. I was just a filler for you. I filled the void for Mj so you could heal and now that everything’s better for you, you don’t need me anymore.”
“That’s not…” He trailed off before recognizing the truth in your words. It wasn’t that Peter didn’t love you, he did but there would never be another Mj.
“It’s fine, whatever. A year of my life wasted on someone who could never really love me. Im used to being second best so maybe I’ll just get over it.” You mutter rushing around the room looking for a suitcase or bag to pack your stuff away in. Peter was frozen in spot standing off of the bed watching you rush around the room.
“Wait, where are you going?” He asks. Maybe he thought he could have both of you. That you could still be in his life with Mj? That didn’t sound right now that he thinks about it. You scamper around the room pulling clothes from all over into a suitcase. Your heels were long lost and your beautiful red dress was disheveled from the movement.
“Well I cant stay here, it’s your apartment anyways. I’m going to just go stay with a friend, I’ll get the rest of my stuff later.” Your words taper off as you lean over your suitcase. In your hands was one of Peters shirt that you loved so much. You kept it in your piles of clothing because of how much you loved it. It wasn’t yours anymore because he wasn’t yours anymore. You throw the shirt off to the side and break down into tears.
Peter didn’t think this through, much like most of his actions. To see you cry over him like this hurts worst than anything he’s ever imagined.
He wanted to reach out to you and hold you but at the same time he knew it was too late. He had already opened this door for Mj and revealed this information to you.
He was too far gone with no way back.
#peter parker fic rec#peter parker angst#peter parker imagine#peter parker oneshot#peter parker x y/n#peter x mj#peter parker smut#peter Parker#spiderman no way home
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LOVE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE - suna x fem!reader x osamu smau
part 22: it hurts
summary: after years of not talking to each other, your childhood best friend decided to reach out again, how will everything go?
note: well, finally some self-love arc lmao, I promise, things are gonna get better from now on!
series masterlist - playlist - part 23
you let the tears fall after reading that text, your brain was playing tricks with you, clearly, he didn't love you
comfort was what you needed right now, and comfort is what you're gonna get, even if it's from his best friend, you couldn't think of anything else but a big hug that would assure you that everything was gonna be fine plus a good nap with scented candles burning
“s-samu—” you told through the phone with quivering lips “— are you still near m-my house?”
he didn't had to ask you what was happening to know that you were crying, fully sobbing, what happened in just the span of ten minutes that he walked you home?
“hey, what's going on? everything alright—? stay there, I'm going” he started running back to your apartment
“it hurts, samu”
he could feel the pain of your voice, growing worried with every past second back to your home
“what hurts? tell me, am almost there angel, please”
“everything hurts– I can't anymore, I can't keep up with him anymore”
he was getting closer to your door, feet's going faster that his thoughts “angel, a need ya to go down and open the door, can ya do that for me?”
you took a deep breath before taking the keys on your hands “y-yes, I'm going” he could hear the sound of your door closing through the call
“perfect— look, a can see ya going out the elevator”
the moment you saw osamu the tears were filling your eyes again, running to his figure just to smash your face to his neck and let all out
“im sorry— I'm so sorry but I cant– I don't want to keep up with him anymore samu”
he turned his head a little to the side to give you a reassuring peck on your forehead “calm down angel, we can go upstairs and relax together, ‘kay?”
osamu and you were okt the comfiness of the queen sized bed, your legs thrown over his lap and face still hiding in the crook of his neck that was now wet with your tears, your body still quivering in sadness and mind tired of thinking all the fucking
“can ya tell me what happened now”
you moved your head from left to right and he could feel it through his skin, slightly quirking a brow “why not?”
“don’ wan’ you to see suna in a different way”
he dropped one of his hands in your hips while the other brought your face up, cleaning the salty tears that stained your cheeks “im not gonna say anything to him, let it out”
you took his hand on yours, snuggling further into the warm he provided, slowly starting to replay the fresh memories in your head to word them out “so, I had a date with suna today”
“yes, and ya were worried because he didn't show up then we had boba together”
“uh-huh” you hummed to validate his words “after you dropped me home he—” it was hard to say it out loud, the pain feeling ten times worst, it felt like needles going through the middle of your heart and your eyes were betraying you yet again “— he texted me, to tell me he went out with kaede”
osamu was just getting furious at his friends action, it doesn't matter if it was you or someone else, that was wrong. stand up someone is wrong and he still can't understand why is the reason behind his moves, you at least we're just his best friend after all, there was no reason for him to make you feel like a discarded toy
“i asked him how did it went because I didn't want to sound whiny” you started sobbing, you couldn't look straight into his eyes because the shame was eating you alive, the shame of loving someone who doesn't spare you a glance, the shame of forgiving someone that didn't gave you a proper apology, the shame of thinking he would change, for you “he texted me they fucked, as if I w-wasnt waiting for him like a stupid girl in that shop, I'm so tired ‘samu, I don't want to keep up with him anymore, I don't want and I can't, I can't take it anymore”
with the hand he had on your face, he brought you closer to him, foreheads touching while his other hand was up and down your spine to give you comfort, he promised you he wouldn't say nothing but it was so hard, stupidly hard no to go to his friends house or perhaps this girl's house to knock some sense into him, to make him give you a proper apologise, to make him see you gather up without his help, to make him feel the same sadness you're going through right now
“thats fucked up angel, am sorry– so sorry” he told you from the deepest parts of his heart because it was exactly how he was feeling, sorry he couldn't stop his friend from doing such a immature things and sorry for not being there for you since before
“not your fault ‘samu it's just—" you got out from his embrace to sit next to him and lay your head on his broad shoulders “— I really like him, and I told him that but clearly he doesn't give a shit” he could feel the single hot tear landing on his skin, he made sure to snip an arm into your waist just to make you know you were not alone in this, from now on, he is your rock
“even if it hurts, I need to move on”
taglist [open]: @arrogantsonofabiscuit @sakusasbitch @souco @sunasexual @boba-duckie @discountkiyoko @shoyotime @sunalma @kuroohoeee @triniteaaa @zukoslosthishonor @iheartkuroorin @kac-chowsballs @akaashiwife @lilith412426 @loveprisms @eunoiwa @gladly-olus @its-the-aerieljeane @smackmyasslikeavolleyball @bakugouswh0r3 @erens-piss-cleaner @call-me-lulu @peachyaeger @omisemi @megumiisee @almondeupeach @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @whorefornoodles @togesslut @singularly-gifted-witch @art-junkie-13 @usernotcool @whoreuc @schleepyflocci @tetsuhoes @tatiquichi @starylust @bakudummy @akaashis-wife @mysterystarz @mysticstrawberryballoon @rinsangel @gumisluvr @givingeraserhead @srkuv @lyzzklm @shrimpypenis @psycho-nightrose
#👥 — love is not for everyone#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu angst#haikyuu smau#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#hq fluff#hq angst#hq smau#hq x you#hq x reader#suna rintarou#suna rintaro#suna fluff#suna angst#suna smau#suna x you#suna x reader
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Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles (part 3)
i did not expect this to turn into more than just a oneshot, but here i am, posting a part 3?? and there’s more to come??? lmao, im a mess, having a million wips at a time, whatever. enjoy this DIRTY piece in the world of Harry and Actress!Y/N hehe!
pairing: Harry x actress!reader
word count: 3k
warning: NSFW content (we are taking a dirty turn in this part babes)
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
“But are you really sure you’re fine?” Florence asks for the millionth time over the phone. “You know, I could come over anytime, have a few drinks and forget about the idiots who decided you don’t deserve that Emmy.”
“I’m very sure,” you chuckle, sinking further down on your couch, kicking your heels off your feet. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh it is, but you are trying to act all tough, though I know it bothers you.”
“I didn’t say it doesn’t bother me, but there’s nothing I can do about it,” you tell her truthfully.
“You know, sometimes I forget that you are this wise ass bitch, not some petty loser that I usually am.”
You snort at her words laughing loudly. Florence is by far one of the funniest people you know, she never fails to make you laugh, no matter what’s the situation.
“It’s sad that I didn’t win, but I’m fine. Really. Maybe next time it will be me,” you say, genuinely hoping this wasn’t your first nomination.
“Okay, I’ll stop bugging you, but call me if you change your mind and want company.”
“Thank you, Flo. Talk to you later.”
Once you end the call you let a long, heavy breath out that feels like you’ve been keeping in all night. Walking into your closet you stop in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror, taking a look at yourself, still wearing the burgundy pant suit you wore for the award show. You were the only woman in pants all evening and you felt more powerful than ever. You’ve always loved to make a statement with your fashion choices and tonight you feel like you definitely succeeded in getting the message through: you are a bad bitch.
Stripping out of the outfit you hang it carefully before putting on some sweats and an oversized vintage t-shirt, feeling so much more comfortable already. Your hair is still in loose waves and you kind of like the texture, so you just leave it like that, moving into your bedroom to check up on some emails.
Cozied up under your duvet, laptop resting on your thighs, you start replying to some emails, updating your schedule for the next week. You almost don’t notice the text you get, barely catching the lit up screen from the corner of your eyes. Grabbing the device from the night stand you smile down at the series of messages from Harry.
“Bunch of idiots,” the first one reads.
“I’m suing them. All of them.”
“You looked fucking unreal by the way. Couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
Biting down on your bottom lip you read the last one over and over again. It’s been weeks since your number landed in Harry’s phone and you’ve been texting nonstop since then. Whenever you pulled your phone out to check if someone had tried to reach you, there was always a text rom him waiting for you, making you smile most of the time.
“Thanks Xx,” you reply shortly, not sure how to react to his heated words of calling the whole Television Academy a bunch of idiots, though it surely warmed your heart.
“Enjoying the after party?” his next text comes fast.
“Nope, I’m home already. Didn’t feel like partying.”
“What?! You not winning is not an excuse to skip celebrating. You still got nominated!”
“Already celebrated that, so I’m out of occasions.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. Text me your address, I’m going over with wine and takeout.”
His bluntness in flirting and shooting his shot has been amusing to you since the moment he sat next to you on The Ellen Show. Harry Styles doesn’t shy away to try and show his attraction, or at least not towards you.
You hesitate a little, not sure if you want him here, but something deep down in your guts is telling you that you definitely want him to come over, some dirty thoughts already popping into your mind, but you are quick to get rid of them.
You send him your address and he tells you he’ll be over in twenty. You use that time to clean up a little around your apartment. You left in kind of a rush earlier, being a little late with your glam team, so you didn’t bother to leave the place in a decent state. It doesn’t take long though to clean up the mess and checking the time you see that you still have a little time until Harry arrives. As you walk past one of the mirrors in your hallway, you take a look at yourself, debating whether you should change or stay in your comfy homey outfit. At last you drop the idea to put on a different outfit, not wanting to look desperate when Harry arrives.
Not long later you get a notification from downstairs that a so called Mr. Styles has entered the building and is heading up to your floor. Running a hand through your hair you walk over to the front door and opening it you stand there, waiting for the elevator to arrive. When the familiar ding hits your ear you notice how your heart skips a beat upon seeing him walk out.
“Hi,” you smile at him holding the door open for him. He looks amazing, as always, wearing a pair of brown high-waisted pants with a loose white shirt tugged into it, a teal denim jacket topping the outfit. He looks comfortable, but still well put together, something you have always admired in his style.
“Hello, Love,” he smiles back at you and pulls you in for a short, one armed hug before walking fully inside. “Didn’t know what stuff you fancy, so I got a bunch,” he admits with a chuckle, holding up two plastic bags completely stuffed.
“You really shouldn’t have,” you shake your head at him smiling as you lock the front door and lead him into your open concept kitchen.
“But I should have,” he argues, setting the bags down to the counter, packing out everything he brought.
Three bottles of wine, all of them different kinds, snacks, both sweet and salty, topped with an insane amount of Chinese takeout that could feed a whole family, not just two people. You put the wines into the fridge though you know they won’t get chilly enough by the time you open it. Turning to Harry you smile at him shyly, only just now realizing that he is in your home for the first time.
“Want a tour?” you ask, pulling your shoulders up to your ears.
“Would love that,” he smirks and lets you lead the way.
The modern apartment in Manhattan has been your home for a little over a year now. One of the first things you invested into once you started earning like an A-list celebrity. It’s spacious, you did the interior over once you bought it, formed it a little more to your taste. You walk Harry through the living room, the three bedrooms from which one is yours, the others function as a guest room whenever a family member of one of your friends needs a place to stay. There are three bathrooms in total, a study room that’s always a mess, your desk filled with scripts and books most of the time, but Harry tells you it suits your vibe.
“And this here is my wardrobe,” you end the tour, flicking the lights on in the walk in closet, probably your favorite part of the place. It’s bigger than your bedroom, but it’s exactly what you and your passion for fashion needs.
Harry curiously walks inside, his eyes immediately stopping on the burgundy pant suit you wore earlier that night.
“This, Darling, was an excellent choice,” he smirks over at you, his fingers dancing over the soft fabric of the pants.
“Felt amazing in it,” you nod smiling.
“I bet you did,” he chuckles softly.
The two of you head back to the kitchen and sit at the kitchen island, roaming through all the food Harry has brought. A short silence comes over the room that’s broken by Harry first.
“So how are you really feeling about tonight?”
“I’m fine,” you shrug, but then feel his hand on your knee that’s closer to him and your eyes flicker over to him, his gaze burning down on you intently.
“No, I’m asking fo’ real. You don’t have to mask your disappointment.”
Licking your lips you look back at your plate filled with dumplings and you start to just poke them around with the chopsticks in your hand.
“Of course I’m disappointed. Who wouldn’t want to win? But there’s not much I can do about it, right?”
“Still, you shouldn’t push it all down.”
“I’m not the type to rage very publicly, if you haven’t realized that,” you chuckle, diverting your eyes back at him, catching a soft smile on his lips.
“That I know of. Miss No Beef,” he teases you, even though you could pretty much say the same thing about him. “I was properly screaming at the screen when they said someone else’s name over yours.”
“Yeah?” you chuckle.
“Mhm. I was rooting for you big time.”
“Well,” you sigh turning back to your plate. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“Nah-ah, none of that crap, Y/N,” he protests right away, dropping his chopsticks to his plate as he slides off his stool, stepping closer to you, one hand lying flat on the counter, while the other one finds the underside of your stool and he easily turns you so you are facing him, your knees involuntarily parting so he could stand between them. “I’m not letting you think of any less of yourself because of some stupid award.”
“The Emmys are not stupid,” you correct him, but it seems like he doesn’t even hear you, staring down at you with a smug grin, his hand moving from the stool to your waist.
“Mhm, they are. They made the most talented and beautiful woman think she is not the best of all.”
You can’t push down the smile that tugs on your lips as you watch him slowly lean closer. Heart beating faster, you let him do whatever he has on his mind, not finding the will to push him away. Not that you want to do that, you’d be stupid to say no to this man.
“Who’s this woman we are talking about?” you breathe out with a teasing smile. Harry smirks back at you, his hand squeezing your waist gently as his other hand moves up to the base of your neck, his thumb running along your jawline.
“The woman I’ve been fantasizing about lately.”
A desperate whimper tries to escape your lips, but you bite it back in time, feeling so lost how much effect he has on you with just a simple sentence.
“What are these fantasies about?” you find yourself asking as he leans closer, his nose brushing against yours.
You’re aching for his lips, to feel him touch you everywhere. You want to come undone under his hands and the breaking point where you won’t be able to mask up your desperate feelings is threateningly close.
“I’ve been thinking about making her feel real good. Watch her fall apart under my touch,” he murmurs lowly and this time, you can’t hold that moan back. Your lips brush against his, but he pulls back smirking, not kissing you.
“Fuck,” you breathe out when you feel his hand move from your waist to your stomach, cheekily teasing you as he is drawing circles around your belly button over the soft fabric of your shirt.
“Can I touch you, Y/N? I really want to make you feel appreciated and good. Will you let me do that?”
Not able to find your voice you whimper out something that’s close to being a yes, but it’s not enough for him and while you are losing touch with what’s really going on, Harry is very much enjoying seeing you like this, all for himself.
“Use your words, Love. I wanna hear you say it.”
“Yes!” you choke out and luckily, he doesn’t waste any more time.
You feel his lips connect with your neck as both his hands work on the waistband of your sweats, pushing them further down a little before his right hand taps on the top of your lacy underwear, the one you wore under your suit tonight, the one Harry definitely thought about when he first saw you through his screen.
You gasp when his hand slides into your underwear, fingers finding your sensitive bud of nerves, pressing down on them softly. You desperately turn your face, eager to meet his lips, but he pulls back for your dismay.
“Not now, Love,” he tells you and though the words sting a little, you don’t have much time to dwell on them when you feel his fingers slide back and forth between your soaking wet folds. “So wet for me, aren’t you?” he smirks while you’re trying to breath evenly, though it’s quite the challenge.
His lips return to your neck and your hands fly up to grab onto the back of his neck and shoulders, his fingers teasing you around your hole, not entering just yet. You start buckling your hips, desperate to get him take the next step and he is surely enjoying the show you are putting on for him.
“Ready to feel good?”
“Yes,” you breathe out, hands grabbing onto his hair roughly and a loud moan escapes your lips when he pushes two of his fingers inside you.
“Fuck, this feels so nice,” he groans, lips nipping on the soft skin under your ear. He is quick to take up on a pace, moving his digits in and out, his thumb circling on your clit, adding that extra magic most men always forget about. But not Harry, he is eager to please you the best he can and if you weren’t sitting, you’d be on your knees for him by now.
“Yeah, tug on my hair, Darling,” he growls, his voice sending chills down your spine as you tighten your grip in his hair just as he asked, while you feel your climax building up.
He picks up his pace, curling his fingers inside you every time he thrusts them in, making you almost see stars. Your legs fly around his waist, ankles crossing above his bum as you bring him closer, and a whimpered groan bursts out of him, probably because his erection just got squeezed against his hand by your action, his nonstop moving hand now stuck between your heated core and his throbbing member. When his head pulls back you quickly look at him, about to ask if he is alright, but he just presses a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth as his unsaid answer that he is perfectly fine.
His forehead comes to rest against yours as he adds a third finger, making you moan his name in ecstasy. Your mind is starting to completely shut down, the sensation of utter pleasure taking over your whole body as you can feel your orgasm just a few thrusts away.
“C’mon, Love. Let it go for me,” he mumbles, his free hand sliding to your back so he keeps you flushed against him, your heaving chest touching his upper body with each drawn breath.
“Fuck, I’m so close,” you pant, eyes screwed shut, tipping over the edge of your climax. “Please don’t stop!” you beg whining.
“Never, Darling.”
And he keeps his words. He keeps going and going until your walls close up around his slick fingers and your thighs tremble around his waist. You tug on his hair once again, pulling his head back just enough so your eyes meet right when you come undone. His fingers keep moving a little longer, bringing you down from your high before the last wave of your orgasm dies down and you are brought back to reality.
When his fingers slide out of you, the feeling of emptiness makes you breathe out in dismay and it brings a smile to his lips as he licks his fingers clean and you swear that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, watch him taste your pleasure on his own fingers.
Glancing down you see the very visible bulge in his pants and you reach down to return the favor you just had the pleasure to get, but his hands wrap around your wrists stopping you, your eyes snapping up to meet his.
“Not now, Love. This was all about you. I’ll be fine.”
“But—“
“No,” he cuts you off shaking his head gently. “Seeing you like this was more than enough for me.”
Biting down on your bottom lip you feel yourself blushing at his words, the whole situation that just went down dawning on you just now. Harry really did just finger you on one of your kitchen stools and it was one hell of an experience for sure.
When your gaze wanders over to his lips you remember how he refused to kiss you and now you actually have the chance to pay more attention to this tiny detail.
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you ask him, legs falling from his waist as he goes to sit back on his stool. He glances at you, a soft smile on the lips that never touched yours.
“I wasn’t planning to do this, but I just couldn’t stop myself. However, I’m still trying to be a gentleman, so I won’t kiss you until I’ve taken you out on a proper date.”
“I can’t believe you,” you chuckle shaking your head at the absurdity of what he just said. “So you are fine fingering me shamelessly, but you won’t kiss me without a date?” you ask, rephrasing his words.
“That’s right,” he nods, his smile growing into a smirk now. Shaking your head you turn back to your probably cold plate of food, chuckling to yourself.
“Harry Styles, you are… something else.”
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#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles never have i ever#harry styles series#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles x actress!reader
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All that’s left | Pt. 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader
A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.
All that's left pt. 1
Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?
Word count: 3.263
Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?
*Three months later*
The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.
“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.
“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.
“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added
“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.
He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God, I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.
“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.
“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.
“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.
“What is it?” i asked.
“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.
“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.
“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said
“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked
“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?
“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.
“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled
“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.
“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded
“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.
Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.
*10 hours earlier*
Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.
Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.
“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.
Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.
“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.
“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.
“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.
“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.
“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.
"It's different" Tony said
“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.
Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.
“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.
The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.
“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.
Breathe. In… and out…
It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.
“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.
“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.
“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.
“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.
“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.
“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.
“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.
“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him
“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.
“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him
“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”
“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.
“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.
“What about the rest of us y/n?” Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.
“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.
“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.
“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”
Thor was standing completely still.
“Lady y/n…”
“How is it possible? I was there and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.
“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.
“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.
“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me
I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.
“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.
“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.
“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.
“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said
“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.
“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that, I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.
He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.
“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said
“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him
“You’ll see”
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Taglist
@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng
#avengers#bucky x reader#steve x bucky#bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#steve rogers#natasha romonova#tony stark#the red room#wanda maximoff#marvel#imagines#hydra
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the prince and the jackal | {f}
collab oneshot | fantasy! au | 11.8k words
“Because the prince of the earth can make you fall not only for nature, but the boy who rules over it.”
s u m m a r y : in the Kingdom of Terrae, you, a metalbender, believe in the deforestation to modernise the land. As a member of the Lumberjackals, you thrive on cutting down trees and stealing resources until you get caught by the Crown Prince, Choi Beomgyu, a lover and embodiment of the nature you wish to destroy. However, instead of imprisoning you for your crimes, Beomgyu decides to show you the beauty and wonders of nature, leaving you to doubt your beliefs, your identity, and your very feelings for the certain boy determined to change you for the better.
w a r n i n g s : prince! beomgyu, woodcutter! metalbender! reader, reader hates wildlife and all things nature, beomgyu is sunshine and flowers and everything good, shit ton of wildlife and fantasy stuff, bts kim line are part of the lumberjackals so are evil in this story i am so sorry y’all, beomgyu has a pet squirrel called jisung yes han jisung, kind of enemies to lovers not really but im pretending it is
p l a y l i s t : fairy of shampoo by txt | colours of the wind by judy kuhn | willow by taylor swift
a u t h o r ‘ s n o t e : yes i am back from the dead to bring this fic hello!! this is a collab with @soobmint @juunnies @bffsoobin @honeyju pls do read their parts too they’re so sexc <3 do lemme know what you all think and thank you for reading!!
back to collab masterlist
back to my masterlist
“And this prayer I make,
Knowing that Nature never did betray
The heart that loved her.” — William Wordsworth, Tintern Abbey, 1798.
“ONE MORE BLOODY TREE, AND I’LL SCREAM THIS FOREST DOWN!”
You ignored the complaints of your comrades, trekking deeper into the forest.
The sun was nearly drowned out by the towering shade of the surrounding trees, and there remained a constant buzz of the animals, either scurrying away or chirping in the skies. The cut up logs strapped on your back was a huge burden, and slowed your steps as you trudged onto the muddied pathways, staining your boots.
“_____, how much longer until we go to the markets?” one of the men asked, exhaustion clear in his voice.
“Just a few more logs, Tae,” one of the woodcutters, Seokjin, answered, casting a side-ways glance at you.
“But we’ve already got so many!” the former whined, pointing to the goods over their shoulders. “We can make decent money today!”
Unsheathing your sword, you cut away at the vines in your path, masking your sight ahead. It must be here somewhere, you thought, eyes darting sharply to every flower and bush. It has to be.
“Haven’t you fools understood already?” a snarl resonated from the group. Your horse trotted past you as Namjoon, sat on top, brought out his machete, brutally slicing the branches of the towering trees. “The wood we’ve got won’t last us all year!”
His eyes blazed with a certain greed as he looked over you all. “We must find the Tree of Life,” he declared, strolling past you, cutting down the path. “One strip of its bark could bring us a fortune.”
You listened to his statements with raised brows, following in his steps. In truth, none of you had ever seen the Tree of Life. No one in the kingdom had for centuries — it had become something of a myth, a legend passed down from every earthbender to child of its origins, and its significance. You didn’t know the great specifics, but the whole group knew that if they were to obtain even a twig from the great tree, it could grant them millions worth of gold.
And that was something the Lumberjackals desired more than the wellbeing of an omnipotent tree.
Soon, the search progressed, your group cutting down a few Ebonies for its useful properties, but there was no heavenly legend welcoming you in all its finery. The sun was descending on the horizon, and although Spring was present, you were situated in the part of the forest where the gusts of the Ice Kingdom blew consistently in your direction. The cold was about to descend, and you were far from your home in the Metallum villages.
Taehyung, the youngest of the Kim brothers, held onto a nearby oak, all strength leaving him. “I don’t know about you, but I am not travelling any further.” He glared daggers at Namjoon, who showed no signs of stopping. “I’m setting camp here, and you can do nothing to stop me.”
Seokjin joined his youngest sibling, collapsing on the patch of grass beside the gathering of flowers as he shrugged off his work of the logs. “I vote a little rest, even if Joon does not understand its meaning.”
The said-man let out a scoff at those words. “You both are just bloody lazy!” He turned to you, eyes pinning you where you stood. “You’ll keep searching with me, right?”
You agreed, but when you saw the fatigue in your leader’s gaze you grabbed the reins from his horse, stepping beside him. “You need sleep, Joon,” you said, concern in your eyes. “I’ll do another search. You three stay here.”
Namjoon held your stare for a moment before swiping his leg over the back of the horse, jumping off. He handed you the reins fully. “Come back after dawn. Us three will take over from you.”
You had a right mind to challenge the amount of time he was making you explore, but you kept your mouth shut, heaving onto the animal. Dumping your logs of wood upon the ground, you dipped your head in farewell to the Kim brothers. “I will see you in the morning, boys.”
Taehyung waving excitedly as he set up camp, Seokjin going straight to bed upon his blankets, and Namjoon’s stare cold yet understanding, you cracked the reins as the horse began to gallop away from the oaklands, and deeper into the forest.
The moon barely lit the way as you delved deeper into the trees, the sounds of nature turning sinister as the owls began to hauntingly hoot, and the wildcats began to purr. You kept your sword close, in your hand as the other steadied your horse.
You let out a hard sigh as you commenced your searching. Sometimes, only when you were alone, you wished that Namjoon would snap out of his delusions. There was no Tree of Life, no invaluable source of fortune which would challenge the earthbenders and start their industrialisation. In truth, you only wished for a life more than just cutting down wood, but your leader’s promises could be much too enticing.
Perhaps he was right. Maybe with the metalisation of Regna Terrae the metalbenders would be able to progress. It was not like the Kingdom cared for the likes of you, nor the nature which brought you to existence.
Stupid, damned forest. What good had it ever done you?
Suddenly, you heard the harsh snapping of the twigs which wasn’t from your horse. In an instant you halted, pulling the reins as your eyes darted to every corner of the dark forest.
Silence.
You furrowed your brows.
The forest cannot be trusted. Even its silences were sinister and misleading.
Slowly, you got off your horse, tying the reins to a nearby tree. “Keep still, Aurum,” you whispered. “I’ll be right back.”
Patting the mane, you turned and followed in the direction of where the sound was heard, every step quiet and cautious. There was little light, you having to rely on your ears alone, and the hands which touched trunk from trunk. In moments like these, you wished you possessed a more useful power than mere metal manipulation — firebending would have been nice, but you supposed that luck had never been in your favour.
Seething, you held onto your sword tighter, sending a little rush of power from your fingers as it sharpened the steel. No one tailing you would survive in your hands.
You then heard a little sigh, and whipped your head to the direction. Gritting your teeth, you rushed to the place of the origins, anger rising. Swiping away the branches in your path, your boots were the only sound among the quiet hush of the forest, along with the slicing of your weapon. Whoever was toying with you will not leave your wrath.
Swiping away the plants, you finally found an opening of grass among the trees. Squinting, your anger surged to find a distant figure standing before you, all masked in shadows from the lack of light within your surroundings. It stood statue-still, matching your deathly quietness.
But the figure did not seem like it offered death. Nor anything so dangerous as you promised.
“Come out!” you shouted, taking a step forward. “I know you were following me!”
No response.
“Scared, are you?!” Another hesitant step. “As you should be!”
Still, only silence answered, and the soft crunch of the leaves underneath your boots. You took a deep breath, shining your sword from the moonlight. A scoff emitted from you, nerves disappearing. This should be easy.
With an aggravated roar, swinging your weapon, you thundered towards the figure.
You rushed into the moonlight pooling onto the grass, eyes intent with damage as you willed iron-like power from your veins, and into your hands, swirling around the fuller of your sword until it reached its tip, ready to burst onto the figure.
It was then the shadows moved.
A flick of his hand. A soft glow within the darkness.
And all of nature followed suit.
You were taken aback as the thousands of vines circulating the surrounding trees unwrapped themselves from their trunks, and snapped towards you in thundering speed. You had no time to take in their stems swirling around your feet, cutting off your run towards this certain figure. A gasp escaping, you were pulled back by the impact, and let out a further scream as you began to fall flat on your face. Then, even more shock reverberated through you as your feet were pulled upwards, shooting your body up until you were suspended from a tree branch, your one foot wrapped tightly in the vines.
Your world all upside down, you shook your head vigorously, feeling the strain of your one leg under complete control of the tree. The thrum of powerful magic of nature resonated through your body, ceasing you from moving your free leg and kicking any potential passerbys.
Craning your head backwards, you saw with horror that your sword was clattered upon the ground, too far away to reach from the air. Straining your hand towards the grass, you willed your magnetic force, trying to lure your weapon into your hand.
The sword would have ended up in your grasp if another surge of the same natural magic did not break its path, sending it back on the earth.
Enraged, you looked out to the dark, sight distorted. “Gods, just come out already!” you screamed, swinging slightly by your sheer force. “Stop hiding in the damned shadows!”
There was a flutter of little animals coming out from the shadows. “Ha!” you spat, reaching for the dark. “Only sending a few creatures to scare me? You’re going to have to work harder than that!”
When there was another round of silence, you laughed harshly to yourself. “That’s what I thought.”
This time, however, you were not greeted by their usual, quiet answer.
More vines slithered down your frame, pushing your hands together. You gritted your teeth as the gnarly weeds tightened around your wrists, stopping yourself from using your hands.
Glaring daggers at the darkness ahead, you spat at the ground. “Show yourself!” you roared.
Your threats were answered.
Responded in an unimaginable way as the figure stepped into the moonlight.
You could not suppress your reaction.
The most enchanting boy you had ever seen revealed himself from the shadows. You could clearly see him from the light, the soft, child-like features amplified by his undoubted beauty — his mahogany locks curled around his face, cascading over his forehead. His gentle eyes promised great amusement, more so when they landed upon you, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. He was adorned in a fine green gown, few assortments strapped on his belt as leather boots, etched in ink, covered his feet. A crown of flowers and leaves settled in his curls, emitting its own, fantastical glow among the darkness.
The smile curved wider at your widened eyes. “Why so speechless now, my lady?”
By all the gods. Even his voice sounded like the sweetest honey in all the hives.
“I have come before you, now,” he continued, deeply amused by your bewilderment. “I have stopped hiding in those damned shadows, as you said.
“Where is your anger?”
Well, that seemed to bring your rage all back.
“It’s still here, you bastard!” you hissed, struggling in the rope-like vines as you tried to swipe your hand across his face. He merely took a step back, completely out of your range.
“Even without a weapon you are a force to be reckoned with,” the mysterious boy voiced out, raising his fingers as magic sparked from the tips. Instantly the vines encircled your arms, pinning them to your sides as the weeds wrapped around you completely. You were like a human-sized caterpillar, cocooned in vines except you would not turn into a butterfly and rush away into the forest.
This nuisance before you would make sure of that.
A satisfied hum escaped him. “There we go,” he said. “Now you won’t be of any danger.”
“Who even are you?” you demanded, glaring daggers at the sight before you. Terrible shame that the sight was something you wouldn’t mind witnessing for the rest of your life. Even if it was upside down.
A hint of surprise exposed upon his features. “Oh, this is amusing, indeed.”
He took a step towards you, you catching the faint scent of...flowers and trees and fruit and honey. You couldn’t really figure out a perfect essence — if nature had a scent, then this boy embodied it. “I am surprised you know not of me when you wish to destroy what I own.”
You raised a brow, at eye level with him, despite the loopy image.
Then, the gears in your head turned, and you were struck hard with the realisation.
When you wish to destroy what I own.
“Oh gods,” you slipped out.
The boy smiled.
No, not just the boy.
The Prince of Regna Terrae — the heir to the Earth Kingdom.
Choi Beomgyu.
Maybe this explained his otherworldly beauty. Crown princes of the earth kingdoms were known to be blessed by nature, so adorned the finest features known to man. Standing before you now, you cursed yourself for not seeing it before.
And cursed yourself again for cursing at him. Multiple times.
Beomgyu saw your eyes moving a mile a second and spluttered out a soft laugh, raising a finger so you focused on him. “I am glad you have figured out my identity. Now we both know what we are.”
His next words did not possess much hilarity. “I, a prince, and you, a Lumberjackal.”
The declaration had you gulping. There’s no escaping this.
He was not wrong in the slightest — you were a part of the Lumberjackals — a group dedicated to industrialising the Earth Kingdom, and giving it a head start from the other kingdoms who did not possess the natural resources that this land contained. You prided on deforestation, the cutting of wood and, even to a certain extent, the consumption of animals. Although you never participated in the last activity out of pure shame, you knew the Kim brothers certainly did, and enjoyed it to great extent.
“Do you deny it?”
You tried to look away, but his gaze was a little too intense. Even if it was reversed. “I do not.”
“And what do you have to say for yourself?” he got out, and you could hear the pain in his voice. Could you even blame him? You destroyed what he held so dear.
Still. You were a metalbender. The desire for modernisation is in your very blood.
“I do what I must do, your Highness,” you grit out, struggling in your weedy cocoon. “It is the only way we survive.
“And I will not stop.”
The boy’s eyes widened a fraction, in pure disbelief. He could not comprehend this — how could one be so against the idea of nature? How could anyone be so resolute in the decimation of what they survived on?
Prince Beomgyu cocked his head, pursing his lips.
How could one hate a deity he considered so beautiful?
He said so himself.
“How?”
You blinked.
The boy continued. “How can you hate nature?”
His question took you by surprise — you did not really know the answer yourself.
It was not like you despised the earth in all its natural form. Sure, it brought you the air you breathed, the food you ate, and the water you drank. But what else had nature given you?
You soured upon seeing the Prince’s face. You did not possess the powers other Terrae citizens were gifted with. Your branch of magic was hard, unforgiving. Simply a practicality, only useful for finding resources and making weapons.
Where were your subservient vines? Where was your natural greatness?
With this in mind, you mustered up the most brutal expression you could offer to the boy before you.
“Because nature was not kind to the likes of me. So I shall not be kind to it either.”
This time, the Prince’s eyes widened even further, afraid they would pop right out of their sockets.
Once again, his mind was in a twist — how had his dearest accomplice, his most cherished friend, been unforgiving to his subjects? He would never consider himself sheltered, but this was something quite unheard of in his kingdom.
“I know you do not believe me, but this is the only explanation I can offer.” You paused, accepting your fate. “Untie me already so you can send me to prison.”
You felt something swirl beneath the boy’s brown eyes, irises sparkling with wonderment. His voice was soft, if not lost within his own thoughts.
“I believe you, jackal,” he said. With a final step towards you, he left little distance between the two of you, eyes at level with yours as you hung from the tree. “But I cannot be satisfied with it.”
Another blink, taken aback by his declaration. “Well...well, what am I supposed to do about it?”
Shocking you further, he curled a little smile upon his lips. “Well,” he started, and as the smile began to widen further, he knew just what to do.
No, he was certainly not satisfied with her accepted hatred.
“We can start by changing that.”
It was your turn for your pupils to dilate. Gods above. This boy seems one chop away from a stump.
“What do you mean?” you demanded, but the boy was already turning on his heel, looking to the surroundings. He fell to his knees, feeling the ground beneath him with his hands. “Your Highness, what are you doing?!”
He did not deem to answer your question, only counter it with his own. “Do you have a horse nearby?”
You looked at him, surprised he figured it out by merely touching the grass. “Yes, but…”
It seemed that he did not need to hear any more, as he brought a hand out, fingers stretching. A tendril of green power burst from his palm, snaking through the dark air beyond your peripheral vision. The Prince was focused on his conjury, and you wondered what in Terrae he was trying to do.
Then, you heard a distant neighing, and found Aurum following the green trail of his magic, eyes glowing slightly.
You tried to escape the tight cage of the vines. “Gods, what are you doing with my horse?!” you exclaimed. “She hates strangers!”
The magic disappeared, along with the glow in her eyes. You could tell she was confused at her surroundings, about to raise her hind legs at the boy who spelled her. “She’ll kill you!” you warned, bracing yourself to witness the death of a prince.
It was then Beomgyu stepped towards the horse, gaze sparkling with kindness.
His hand touched Aurum’s face.
With no small amount of shock, you watched as the boy whispered to your horse, stroking her muzzle. You had never seen her be so friendly to any human she’s made contact with — by Terrae, she even deigned to show attitude to you, who had fed and groomed her since she was a mere pony. How was she sweetening up to someone she had just seen?
Maybe she’s still under a spell, you thought with malice, but then a more honest thought came to mind, and it only made you angrier.
Or perhaps animals can be just as enchanted with him as humans can.
“What are you talking to her for?” you interrupted them, letting out an aggravated groan as the cocoon engulfed you tighter. “You’re sharing words with her as if she’d spread them!”
Beomgyu slid his eyes upward to you. “I was just asking Aurum if she’d like to have an apple.”
“No, I’ll give her one myself—” you tried to say, but then stopped short. “Wait. How do you know her name?”
He looked at you as if you had asked the most ridiculous question. “Because she just told me.”
You stopped struggling in the cocoon. “What did you just say? Aurum told you?”
Hands never ceasing his comforting upon the horse, he raised a quizzical brow. “Pardon me, jackal, but do you mean to tell me that you...you cannot talk to animals?”
Maybe you were not wrong to think the heir of the Earth Kingdom absolutely crazy.
He gestured to the world around you both. “Can you not sense each and every creature nearby? Can you not hear their heartbeats, in sync to their purrs and murmurs?
“Can you not hear the very trees breathe around you?”
You did not know what to say. Perhaps you did not understand his words, what he really meant by a tree breathing. Was that even possible? You thought it unimaginable.
So you offered him the only thing that remained in your mind.
“I have never felt these things.”
The hand upon Aurum’s nuzzle paused, unable to accept the statement which you offered him.
His suspicions were confirmed. Your hatred of nature and all the beings which it birthed had rid you of your powers.
He had seen this before — lost souls who had done grave wrongdoings to the earth, and as a consequence, their very instincts were snatched, right down to the basics. There was no shortage of Lumberjackals in the palace dungeons, and upon closer inspection, he saw that these woodcutters felt no connection to their surroundings. It broke his heart seeing the lack of attachment, the lack of desire for exploration and yearning for their powers, but he knew it could not be helped.
Whoever crosses nature would not be forgiven.
Still, when he inspected the confused, tired gaze of yours, searching him for any suspected lunacy, he just knew that he could not toss you in another old cell. This plan he had in mind could not occur through rotting in one place for the rest of your life.
“Worry not then, jackal.” He raised his hand, magic blooming from his palm. “I am going to change that.”
Whispering to your horse, he listened for a soft neigh before heaving atop her back, hissing at the reins and other controls tying her down. You watched with slight fear. “W-wait a minute,” you started, trying to squeeze out of the vines, but with no luck. “You’re not going to just leave me here, are you?”
Patting Aurum’s mane, he voiced out calmly, “I wish with my whole heart, but then my plan will not work.”
You pursed your lips, watching his eyes sparkle with mischief. “If you were not a prince, I would have cursed you.”
With a flick of his hand, a rush of magic travelled to your cocoon; you felt yourself turning on your front, hovering you upright as the power gravitated you back on the ground, loosening the vines.
“Not like that has stopped you before,” he merely countered as he observed you shrug off weeds in slight humiliation. “Now get on. We have somewhere to be.”
He waited a moment, sighing when you would not oblige. “Is something the matter?”
You wanted to say yes — gods, you wanted to scream at him to get off Aurum, leave you alone and let you cut trees in peace, but of course, that would be an impossible route to take. You still had no inkling of why the Prince of your kingdom was having mercy on you, and you would be quite the fool to exploit it foolishly.
With gritted teeth, you kept your complaints behind your tongue as you brought your foot on the stirrup, heaving upwards as you brought your leg to the other side, settling upon the horse. “Now,” Beomgyu began, looking over his shoulder. “There is no need to be shy. You may put your hands around me as the horse goes fast—”
“I shall be completely fine, thank you,” you interrupted him, brows furrowed. What was this prince even doing? You wondered whether he was a fraud. With that power you witnessed, though, you highly doubted it.
And his features. There is no way a commoner could possess such enchanting beauty.
Flustered, you soured even further.
“Are you ready, jackal?”
You grunted out a yes, which was enough for the boy to command Aurum to start.
The horse, against your expectation, began galloping much faster, and with a yelp you were nearly sent flying out of the seat. Your hands, on instinct, wrapped around Beomgyu’s waist, and when you realised what you had done you cursed yourself for obliging him.
You could almost hear his grin. “I told you!” he exclaimed over the noise of hooves clattering against the rocky mud.
If only you could slap the heirs of kingdoms. “Just take me where you have in mind!” you barked back. “I need to be back to Metallum at dawn.”
“That will be just enough!”
The horse swept past more trees, animals scurrying from your path as the moon lit the dim forest path. You held onto the prince for dear life, refusing to acknowledge the hard surface beneath his silk, his ethereal warmth radiating onto you.
“Hey, jackal?”
A sigh. “Yes?”
“Your horse’s name.” A pause. “Aurum.”
You looked to the trees whooshing past your vision. “What of it?”
Beomgyu whispered for the animal to slow down, scanning his surroundings for his destination. “’Gold’. A very ingenious name.”
He glanced at your irritated face, and smiled. “My mare is called Argenti.”
Your mouth parted at the little revelation.
Argenti. Silver.
Before you could say more on the matter, the boy stopped the horse, cooing at her and praising her for helping him. Swinging his leg over, he jumped off the horse gracefully. He fixed his flower crown before turning to face you, falling rather awkwardly on the grass.
A small laugh escaping him, you daggered him with your gaze as you stepped beside him, a hand on Aurum. Your stare lingered as he took a circle turn of the surroundings, moon almost winking at him as it journeyed in the blanket of night. After a while, Beomgyu pointed to the tree nearby you, stepping past you to palm its trunk. “Here we go.”
Fingers stretching, magic spluttered as it swirled into the thick expanse of the leaves, nearly covering the sky with their excess. The matter squeezed through, and brought out the hidden vines, tumbling down till they reached the roots. Grabbing onto the plants, the prince turned his head towards you, an offer in his eyes.
You hated how you understood exactly what he meant. “I am not going up with you,” you retorted.
“It’s my arms or the dungeon.”
Gulping, you swallowed down your irritation for him. Taking a step towards him, you maintained a safe distance as you made sure he was aware of your distaste. “Just get us up already.” Damn the gods for making him so aggravatingly beautiful, you thought shamelessly as you looked at him. “Your Highness.”
Perhaps he knew, for the little smile was back, wrapping his arm around your waist, and pulling you close. “That’s more like it,” he murmured out before willing his magic into motion.
Your breathing hitched as you were pulled rapidly upward by the vines, breaking through the surface of the leaves. You closed your eyes, feeling the scraping of the branches against your clothes until you felt yourself still, listening only to the deep breaths of the prince beside you. His hand was still snaked at your side.
“Open your eyes, jackal.”
Somehow, on instinct, you obliged.
And widened them further.
You were in another world entirely — the branches expanded beyond your vision, intertwining with the others from different trees, so intricately interlinked beneath your feet that they created a floor. Upon this branching surface there was a little room, decorated with every unusual object that one could identify. Beside the bed, interwoven by these branches, you saw an abundance of flowers and leaves, an lamp of glowing fireflies resting in the corner, and a thousand other items which needed further explanation.
Judging by the awe on your face, the boy answered you, heading to the small cabinet where everything was placed. “A collection of gadgets,” he began, using his magic to separate every object. “That I’ve bought or been gifted since my princedom.” He took out a few unrecognisable things and strolled to the wardrobe, made from the same intertwining branches, and opened the doors, rummaging through.
“What are you even looking for?” you asked, but were dutifully ignored as he kept searching. You admired the intricate scenery, the plush excess of leaves beneath your shoes, shielding you and the prince nearby.
You heard him let out a satisfied ah! as he closed the doors shut. He walked over to you, showing you the rather odd object — it was an unusually large ice cube, miniscule snowflakes etched onto its every side as it orbited slowly in Beomgyu’s hand.
Your curious gaze upon the gadget had him into explanation. “A present from the Ice Prince,” he said, admiring the cold gift in his palms. “It provides an infinite water supply, so is incredibly useful for long journeys.”
“Taehyun, is he not called?” You shivered at the thought. “I am shocked to think he is capable of such small kindnesses.”
Beomgyu slid his eyes to yours. “Taehyun is not the man that his subjects have painted him to be.” His irises swirled in an indecipherable emotion. “Sometimes, one cannot judge the character of another simply based on rumour alone. Only with having conversation can one truly have an honest opinion.”
A small part of you wondered if he truly meant that for Taehyun, or to you, another villain in the Earth Kingdom’s millennia-old tale. Whatever it may be, you looked away, wondering when you’d be able to leave the prince’s presence.
“Right,” you heard him say, pocketing the other unknown object in his breast pocket of his gown. “Let us go on ground once more.”
The boy was about to tug on the vines again when he was interrupted by a most unusual sound.
Well, not unusual, considering you were situated in a tree house, but the noise was so shrill you instantly looked down to its origin.
Before you was a little squirrel, cheeks puffed as its little hands perched on its sides. Its soft tail moved rapidly behind its body, indicating irritation.
Its small, black eyes were fixated upon the boy beside you. Letting out yet another squeak, you saw Beomgyu sigh out in exasperation, as if he had just remembered an important matter.
“Oh gods, I do apologise!” He exclaimed, falling to his knees as he held his free hand out, the other holding the hovering ice cube still. “I’m afraid I cannot feed you now, but would you be able to wait?”
The squirrel let out another squeak, and this time the prince flinched. You gawked at the scene — so not only can he command the trees, but he could talk to animals?
What can this boy not do?
“Ji, I am sorry!” Fishing out an acorn from his breast pocket, he offered it before him. “I have one, if it helps! I promise to feed you properly after I am done with a certain task.”
Even so, the animal seemed much unimpressed. It then turned its little head to you, and you could have sworn that its eyes judged your very soul.
It squeaked some more, and this time Beomgyu widened his eyes, cheeks flushing. “By Mother Nature, no!” He bellowed out, panicked eyes fleeting towards you. “No, I just met her today.”
“Are you talking about me?” You asked, raising a brow. The squirrel then made another sound, one you could not decipher but, judging from the boy’s reaction, could definitely take a wild guess. “By gods, is this creature mocking me?”
You were rewarded with further squeaking, but was instantly silenced by Beomgyu. “Ji, no! I cannot have you being sarcastic tonight. Save your grievances for tomorrow morning!”
And as the prince scooped the squirrel in his hand, he walked over to the bed, settling it on the sheets. “Stay here. I will be back.”
There was sure to be complaints, but the boy kept sending looks of apology as he stepped back to the edge of the exit, tugging on the vines. “Deeply sorry for Jisung’s behaviour,” he said, swirling the cube slowly. “He is grumpier tonight as I have not fed him this evening.”
“A pet squirrel, huh?” You interrogated, looking down to the grass below. “And one you can talk to? Is that how you could communicate with Aurum?”
Nodding, the prince held his arm out. “Are we ready?”
You hurrying my shook your head. “Not again!” You crossed your arms. “I’ll slide down myself. Without your help.”
Shrugging, the boy held on tighter to the vine. “Your wish, jackal,” he said, and jumped down. Perking up, you squatted down to see him descend smoothly down the tree, landing perfectly on the grass.
Grabbing onto the plant, you looked back to the grumpy pet, stuffing the acorn in his mouth.
He then stuck his tongue out, and you gasped at the audacity. “Rude!” You shouted, but we’re only answered with shrill squeaking. Ignoring the creature, you took the vine by both hands, and followed suit.
Your descent was much less graceful, landing instead on your backside. You were met with the huffed laughter of the prince, and you forced down the urge to beat him with his stupid flower crown. Or perhaps tie these vines around his neck and strangle him.
No, that would only result in him using his silly magic. Awful, attractive bastard.
“What are we doing now, Highness?” You wondered out loud, rubbing your sore backside. “Do tell me there is some use of your rather odd ice cube.”
Beomgyu, after strolling further into the woods, slowed himself for you to catch up. “There is some use, unfortunately for you.” He waved you over, stepping past the wild bushes in his path. “Follow me, jackal!” he called out to you.
Grudgingly, you did as he asked, hugging yourself from the cold breeze of the midnight, wondering where in Terrae he was trying to take you. The trees towered over you like intimidating strangers — if the prince spoke true, then you wouldtuly be unwelcome.
You were surrounded by this coercion until the forest opened up to an open grassland, encircled by the nature which looked down at you. Beomgyu turned to you, bringing out a few seeds from his trouser pockets and standing right in the middle of the circle.
“There you are,” he said as you stepped beside him. He glanced at the moon, measuring the amount of time he had left.
“What are you going to do?” you asked him, still clueless regarding the whole situation. Why has he not sent you to the dungeons already?
His eyes travelled to your face. With a half-soft scoff, he held out his hand, the seeds now in perfect view. “It is not what I’m going to do,” he began. “It is what you are going to do.”
The confusion grew within you. “What do you mean?” you tried to clarify. “What am I to do with these seeds?”
Beomgyu’s eyes promised answers. “Bring out your hand, jackal.”
You did as you were told, holding out your hand as he put the seeds in your palm, fingers barely brushing against your skin. He then descended, knees upon the grass as he patted to the space beside you. “Come, sit.”
Pursing your lips in thought, you knelt before the grass, seeds in your enclosed fist as your gaze never strayed from the boy. “Your Highness—”
Magic oozing from his fingers interrupted your demand, slipping into the earth. Slowly, but surely, a small hole was separated by the green matter, dirt being shovelled to create a dip in the grassland.
Once he ceased his conjuring, he jerked his head towards the new opening. “Place the seeds in the hole,” he instructed. “Gently now! Treat them with the utmost care.”
Grumbling in response, you leaned forward as you gingerly put each seed at the corners of the muddy dip, noticing a small spark with each placement of the grain. It was a bizarre feeling, but assumed it normal in the ways of gardening as you inserted the dirt over them, covering them fully.
You peered at the prince then, who brought out the large ice cube. Turning it rapidly, treacle of water dripped down to the ground, moistening the earth and feeding the seeds of its necessities. Putting the gadget back in his storage belt, he then returned his hand upon the damp mound, closing his eyes in a fixated peace. More magic swirled from his hands, but this time it encircled not only the place where you had placed the seeds, but you, all of you, engulfing you in its otherworldly warmth.
“Your Highness?” You whispered out, but he was murmuring, murmuring words you could not comprehend, words which felt like you were not meant to hear. His curls were being lifted slightly with the tendrils of his power, but he stayed rooted to his spot, carrying on with what you feared was a grotesque ritual.
You, too, became still when you felt fingers curl around your hand.
On instinct you looked at him, eyes widening — you should have expected his hand to radiate some form of heat, considering this boy had such an unusual glow about him, but this…
Despite the soft chaos around the two of you, the touch was oddly comforting.
His hand, dragging you out of your thoughts, led yours to the place you sowed the little grains of life, and spread apart your fingers till they covered nearly the entire, dug up earth. More matter escaped from his fingers, shooting further warmth upon the back of your hand, and travelling up to your heart.
“Close your eyes, jackal,” you heard him chant from his cocoon of magic. “I need you to see from within.”
“See what?!” You beseeched, but his fingers held onto you a little tighter, and, as if he commanded your very body, had your eyelids descend shut, cornering you into the chambers of your mind.
See from within.
What could you see?
Darkness. Eternal darkness, and rusted iron, spilled mercury, and all the grim faces of the people who wanted to decimate the very place you knelt in.
I cannot see! You screamed in your mind, because in the whirlwind of his power you felt alone, trapped in your own mind, trying to join in on a ritual which would cursed the likes of you.
But in reality, you were not alone.
No, not when you felt something foreign in your body.
You swore you stopped breathing.
Your fingers felt squeezed by another, but was ignored because you could see a whole other heartbeat which was not your own.
A familiar voice entered your mind.
“Do you see it?”
The prince’s voice; the soft, almost desperate inquiry, which you could not help but answer.
“Yes...yes, by Terrae, I do see it.”
And perhaps he said some more, but you were not listening to his words. His speech seemed a little insignificant to the little heartbeat — it was as faint as the scent of departure, delicate as a snowflake, and as real as yourself, the prince, and the neverending forest.
When you tried to lift your hand, Beomgyu’s fingers halted you still. You could not believe that you did not mind it. “Whose...whose is it, your Highness?”
You were positive that he did not hear you with the lack of volume you let slide from your tongue. However, he answered your question, almost feeling the joy radiating from his response.
“The seeds.”
Shocked, you opened your eyes, and found the Prince of Earth staring at you with an elevated joy. He gestured to observe your creation, and when your eyes fell upon the sliver of a stem which broke through the earth, between the spaces of your fingers, you wondered whether this was all a dream.
You could not help the curse which escaped you. The boy beside you spluttered into laughter, and you turned to see his face radiating with elation. The heartbeat, the one which you thought was under your control, proved you wrong as it skipped its beat along to his laughs.
“Wh-what are you laughing at?” You demanded, but you were unable to execute it with the anger you wish you held for him. He offered you a honeypot of smiles.
“You’ve brought life to the forest, sweet jackal.”
The little plant shivered in response, along with your own hairs at the back of your neck, which stood at his announcement. Its faint heartbeat grew louder, as well as your own in your ears.
“Do you feel it now?” he whispered, leaning ever so close as he looked to the forest around you. “Do you feel the trees breathing in your presence?”
Unfortunately, although you could sense your plant’s essence, the heartbeats of every tree in the forest were still unheard. You shook your head no, but that did not wipe the grin off his face.
“We have time,” he reassured you. “Just know that Mother Nature has hope for you still.”
He took your hand, putting another upon the back as he brought you a different kind of warmth. “I have hope for you.”
You parted your mouth, unaccustomed to the contact, the kindness...to all that he represented.
His eyes locked with yours, and although he had spared you the wrath of his palace dungeons, you feared whether you could escape the imprisonment of his gaze.
There was no doubt in your mind as you let yourself be arrested into his stare — the Prince of the Earth was not going to haunt just a single night.
FRATERNISING WITH THE HEIR OF REGNA TERRAE WOULD BE THE DEATH OF YOU.
Of course, that was not the last time you saw him — you had become something of a personal project to him, a sin which must be reversed. Almost every night after the fateful encounter, you snuck out from the fences of the Metallum villages, barely evading the suspicious eyes of the Kim brothers, and met with him under his treehouse.
You did not know why you endeavoured so ardently in seeing him. It was not like he had become any less irritable with his amused grins and unmatched power, but there was something about him which you could not fend off.
In a way, he made you believe you were worth more than simple woodcutting, selling oaks in the market, the empty promises of revenge against the Natural Kingdom.
Somehow, he made you realise that, maybe, you truly were deserving of a more memorable path.
These very thoughts accompanied you as the sun began to set, pulling your hood over your head as you swept past the familiar trees, reining in the urge to greet every woodland creature which scurried past you. The past few weeks, after many misunderstood arguments with the Prince’s pet squirrel, you learned the slight quirks which the animal possessed, his every movement and what it would signify. You had Beomgyu to thank once again, but each time you wished to do so, he would say the same, hair-rising reassurance.
“Fret not, sweet jackal. It is a pleasure to show you the wonders of nature.”
Sweet jackal. The endearment made you so flustered, and that aggravated you to the greatest extent. You had already shared your name with the boy, but he insisted on calling you this name, as if the two of you had already established an intimacy from decades before.
The very thought had your actual heartbeat racing.
You made sure to completely dismiss this foolery as you found the special opening of the grassland in sight, the glowing figure waving you over. A small smile involuntarily curled at your lips, hurrying closer till you fully saw Prince Beomgyu’s face clearly in the setting sun.
“You have arrived much earlier this evening,” he said in a way of greeting, fixing his flower crown as his squirrel played with the petals. “I would not say I’m displeased.”
On your part, you certainly were not either — he bore more finery than usual, his normal green gown threaded with gold swirls at the hems, small vines tied around his ears as natural jewellery. His hair was sprinkled with petals, a trait Jisung adored as he settled in the nest of his locks. His hands, too, were intertwined with dark vines, swirls wrapped around his fingers like extended rings.
By the gods, he truly was an exquisite being.
He noticed your silence, raising a groomed brow. “Is something the matter?” he asked, but when he saw your eyes dart to anywhere but his own, he immediately understood. You just managed to catch a satisfied quirk of his lips before he turned his attention to your plant.
Following his trail, you brightened up to see your creation in full bloom — bright red poppies, stark against the pool of grass, stood as they swayed to the evening breeze. You knelt down to observe them closer, and felt a peculiar sense of pride at sensing their clear heartbeat harmonising with yours.
“They’re my favourite flower,” the boy said behind you. “I have always adored how they stand out amongst all the others.”
Watching the poppies almost dance in the cool air, you stood upwards once again. “Then why do you not wear them?” you asked out of curiosity.
“Because my parents do not like me wearing them.” He gestured to the flower crown, at risk of being torn up by Jisung. “They say the colour is too harsh.”
He clicked his tongue in irritation. “At least they could have spared me on my birthday.”
You were about to comment on his parents when those words escaped his mouth. Your own mouth parted in surprise. “Your birthday is today?”
The prince mocked being stabbed in the chest, nearly sending the squirrel to the trees. Taking Jisung from his hair, he propped him on his shoulder. “You have truly wounded me, ____!” he whined. “All this time together, and you had no inkling?”
Although he was only jesting, it only embarrassed you further. “I truly am sorry, your Highness!” you apologised, clasping your hands together. “If I had known, I would have made you a present.”
“Oh?” He took a step towards you. His eyes danced in mirth. “And what would you have made me?”
That seemed to rob you of your speech. “Well, um…” you trailed off, searching your now useless mind of any decent idea for a gift, but he waved off your fluster, chuckling.
“It is no problem, dear jackal,” he said, looking at the red flowers once more. “Seeing your poppies in full growth is a gift to me anyway.”
You wished he had not said that; glancing at them now, you could only hear his fascination within the petals.
There he was again — staining your every entity of his remnants. How much more till he stains your very soul?
Jisung’s irritated squeak brought you back to the forest. You tried not to murder the damned creature as you muttered out, “Thank you, Your Highness.”
Beomgyu groaned out. “I shan’t have you calling me that hideous title all the time.” He put a hand to his chest. “Have we not reached first name basis?”
Despite your surprise, you offered him a scoff. “Jackal is not my first name,” you jeered. “And please. You’re the prince of our land. Anyone who catches me being informal with you will surely have my head.”
“I would never let them,” he merely said. “Not before I show you one last part of the forest.”
You quirked a quizzical brow. “I think you’ve shown me half your kingdom by now.”
“But this is...quite different.”
The boy stepped closer to you, reaching out his hand. You found yourself warming up as he enveloped it with yours, a gesture so small yet so triggering to your nerves.
“Follow me, ____.”
With the tug of his fingers, you were led out of the grasslands and back into the jungles of Regna Terrae, catching familiar sights of ancient mahoganies and birches, different variations of trees all grouped together.
As the moon began to ascend, your anxiety increased. His hand worked wonders for your skin, but at the back of your mind, you could not shake off the image of the Kim brothers wondering where you had gone so long.
Especially Namjoon. Seokjin and Taehyung may have been much simpler in the brain, but the leader of the trio bore his suspicions of your whereabouts. He always knew you were never enthusiastic of your occupation as a Lumberjackal, so your sudden interest to roam the woodlands for hours into the night certainly had his ears perking. Of course, you always made sure to know that you were going without being followed, but in the end, the three brothers were quite unpredictable.
You just hoped that whatever the prince had to show you, it would be seen quick enough to leave.
The density of the forest began to increase, and you soon began to doubt whether you had been to this part of the Kingdom before. It was then Beomgyu’s hands flowed with magic, and completely changed the scenery. The ancient trees, trunks as wide and thick as horses began to move apart to make way for him and you, the squirrel holding onto his shoulder tightly as it too squeaked in surprise. Your own eyes widened as each element of nature bent to his will, creating an easier path for his boots to step onto.
It was clearly a sight for admiration. These few weeks you had begun to realise the power of the earth, and how rich and true its roots lay. You felt the faint hum of their essences as you rushed past them, hand still clasped with his, and you dipped your head in thanks to the trees, hoping that one day you would hear them sing welcomes to you.
Slowing down, the group was barred by the curtain of thick vines, hiding you from the world behind. “I have never seen this before,” you wondered out loud, but when Beomgyu let go of your hand, and stepped forward, hands stretched out, your curiosity reigned further.
Jisung quickly scurried from his shoulder, ending up on the muddied path as he watched with black eyes of the phenomenon about to occur. You made to make fun of the squirrel when the prince let out an aggravated moan, hurling your head to his direction.
His heavenly voice chanted in a millennia old language, huge power emitting from his finger tips and swirling to the tumbling vines of the entrance. You could see the sweat beading down his forehead at the sheer effort it took, but he stayed rooted, sending surges of green matter to the cold nature.
Slowly, the curtain began to withdraw. Blinding light cut through, and when the boy let out a roar, pushing the whole family of vines apart you hid your head from the white bursting through.
There was a deathly silence for a singular moment.
You heard his ragged breathing, lasting for ten seconds before it turned into relieved, panted chuckling.
Bringing your hand away from your face, you looked to see beyond the curtain.
Your very breath was snatched from your lungs.
Before you was the most enchanting deity of nature you had ever seen in your existence — it was a glowing white tree, trunk as wide as the two of you twice over, etched with milky-coloured wrinkles that contained sparkles of ancient magic. The leaves, much like finely cut diamonds, protruded from every branch which stretched towards every corner the eye could see. The diamonds were infinite, shining from the gentle light of the moon.
Even though you had never seen it before, you knew exactly what it was.
“The Tree of Life.”
Your gaze dared to break away to see the prince for a second, whose own breathing seemed to have halted. Sensing your stare, he looked back at you, his face half glowing from the deity’s light.
“I...I thought it did not—” you tried to say, but of course you could not when it was right there before you, as if it had been waiting to be found all its life.
“Exist?” He took a step forward. “Every myth is borne from truth after all.”
Indeed it was — you had learned of the Tree of Life when you were a mere girl, listening to fairy tales before being told to sleep. This Tree could not be seen by the common man, and legend foretold that there lived an otherworldly creature inside its trunk. Evidently, no one could prove this theory, but its mystery had what inspired so many people, metal and earthbenders alike, to find it, for opposing reasons.
You knew why Namjoon wanted to find it — for the amount of gold a singular leaf could bring him. Now, having accused him of believing in fantasies, you almost felt ashamed for having ridiculed his searches.
“Come.”
You perked up at the Prince’s voice.
“You must get a closer look.”
Picking up the pace of your feet, you fell into step beside him as the two of you started towards the legend come to life. The closer you approached the more enchanting it looked — the leaves glistened further, as if greeting you with their shine.
Jisung scurried between you both, his little head never straying from the Tree. It let out an awed squeak, and Beomgyu hummed in agreement.
“Have you ever seen anything like it?”
You shook your head, transfixed. “Never,” you responded, feeling the very earth shift beneath your feet.
If nothing else convinced you of the power of nature, then the existence of this deity certainly did.
You stepped past the boy, the grass hushed beneath your feet as you stretched out your hand. When your fingers touched the milky bark your breath shuddered out of you. It was simply unreal. The touch was surprisingly soft, so unlike the normal trees, and with each crack of the bark there was ancient writing inscripted within. With further shock you felt a very distant heartbeat as the fingers ran along the words, faint yet powerful.
By the gods.
“Where have you been hiding all this time?” you whispered to the Tree, tracing the aged trunk. “Your Highness, is everything about the legend true?”
There was no response — you figured he was still star-struck, and you continued to admire the most beautiful force you had ever seen.
It was not until you heard Jisung’s shrill squeak that you turned around.
You felt your soul leave your body.
Because there he was, the one man you dreaded to see. The one man who held Beomgyu’s unconscious body in his hands as he dropped him upon the grass. You noticed the little dart on the side of his neck, and all the blood in your body was drained.
Kim Namjoon.
His answering smirk was more a flash of teeth. “Do you believe me now, ____?”
You backed up against the Tree, eyes darting to the prince. “What did you do to him?” you asked instead, voice void of any emotion.
“That does not matter,” he dismissed. “But of course, it would matter to you now that you’ve attached yourself to him.”
He took a step forward, his ebony machete glinting in the light of the phenomenon behind you. “Stand aside, girl. It is time to make our fortunes.”
On instinct, you stretched a hand out. “I cannot.”
The man was taken aback by your hesitance. “Whatever the gods do you mean?”
Gulping, you tried to steel your will, inhaling slowly. “I cannot let you do it, Namjoon.” Your eyes glanced at the still prince before glaring at the perpetrator. “You won’t get a single branch of the Tree.”
A harsh laugh escaped him, taking a step forward. “Oh, and you’re going to stop me?”
You brought out your own sword — the one which you promised to use on Beomgyu — and raised it toward him. “Do not come any further,” you warned.
It seemed the man was not not going to compromise.
Not when he swung his machete, well on his way to hack you to pieces.
You quickly brought your weapon upon you to deflect his aim, sending him forward, and away from the Tree.
He can try and hurt the Tree of Life.
Easily gaining step, Namjoon mustered his power, ebony sharpening from his fingers as he clashed against you, lightening-fast strikes of his machete having you strained. You never doubted the bastard’s swordsmanship — he was skilled enough to be a general in the King’s royal army.
A shame he chose his fighting for a darker purpose.
You tried to slice the free space of his abdomen, but the man was sharp, quickly dodging as he swerved to the side, another clash of weapons ringing around the forest.
“You cannot beat me, ____!” He roared, one hit after the other, sending you further back.
Taking every hit, you stumbled, gaining your step yet staggering once again with his sword. After all, you could not outsmart the master; he was the man who taught you to fight.
Even so, you refused to give up. “I can die trying!” You seethed as he brought his strength down. His weapon, screeching against your own, slowly descended, closer and closer to your neck.
A harsh groan escaping, you mustered all your strength into sending his machete aside, barely a spare second in your name before you whirled to your left, missing the power blow.
“All this for a bloody tree!” He screeched, thundering towards you. “We would have been rich, you fool!”
Another mighty hit, and you were sent back, averting his strikes with your sword. Because you were so exhausted, your magic would not burst from your hands, adding more power to your weapon. It was your melee strength, nearly all gone, and your nimble feet.
“What is all this for?!” He demanded, slicing at your cloak, cutting through the fabric of your trousers. The clash of weapons continued, faster and faster. “What is worth more than all the riches of the Kingdom?!”
Amidst the brawl, your eyes slipped to the figure before you. Distant, yet instantly recognisable with his eyes closed, and mouth parted, flower crown scattered around his head. Jisung, too, laid injured beside him, watching your fight with fear in his little eyes.
What is all this for?
You only had one person in mind.
But that was not enough.
No, not when that sliver of a second gave Namjoon enough time to strike you, sending his machete straight into your stomach.
A shuddered gasp escaped you as the machete entered through — a burst of pain shot through your entire body, echoing the fatality of your situation. Tears stung your eyes as you dropped your sword, looking at your opponent in the eyes.
The Leader of the Lumberjackals showed no mercy as he yanked out his weapon.
A moan rushed past your lips as you fell to your knees, gripping your blood-gushing stomach. Namjoon gazed down at you with no remorse at all. “Perhaps he was not enough,” he said, cold as metal.
He stepped past you, focusing on the glistening Tree of Life, its white treasures still exalted in the moonlight. Your body, completely spent, could not hold you upright, falling straight into the grass. Straining, you cried out as you stretched your hand out in vain efforts to stop him, but it was simply no use.
You had been defeated.
And now, after witnessing the most perfect element of nature you had ever seen, you were to watch it be decimated.
This is how it ended. You, fumbling for your last breath, your prince nearby and probably dead.
Namjoon raked his eyes over the Tree, grinning wildly. “Oh, you are going to make me the richest man in the Kingdom,” he declared, raising his machete till it hovered just before the bottom of the trunk.
He elevated his voice so you could hear. “Enjoy watching me destroy what you sacrificed yourself for!”
Closing your eyes, you were about to let oblivion take over.
You awaited the sound of his weapon against the bark.
What you heard was something completely different.
An explosion filled your ears as white light, even more blinding than the one before, had you squeezing your eyes further shut. You made out the screams of your once leader as it was drowned out by the eruption, and you tried to see what had so suddenly occurred, only to be greeted with more brazen lights.
What...what was going on?
When the deafening noise quietened, you picked up on the soft crunch of grass, edging closer and closer to you. A compelling force was felt against your dying soul, and you wondered if the Reaper had finally come to take you.
When you felt air-light hands on your abdomen, you did not expect death to be so warm.
Slowly, dragging open your eyes, you prepared yourself to be taken to the afterlife.
What you saw instead was something else entirely.
Something which made even the Tree of Life as a mediocre enchantment.
Looking over you was not human — not with the glowing, shimmering skin, sparkles and shine radiating off its golden, liquid body. Her eyes were white with the same light you had seen twice this evening, fluid locks of hair flowing all around her. Her lips offered a radiant smile, already bringing some life back into you, and her whole body, although similar to yours, was free of attire, exuding the light of a star.
Perhaps you truly were dead.
The being, however, proved you wrong with her words.
“Brave human,” she began, and her velvet voice had you clutching your stomach. “I saw what you did to defend me.”
You tried to open your mouth to tell her that you defended the Tree, but then your eyes dilated at the revelation.
The legend foretold that there lived an otherworldly creature inside its trunk.
But this...this god-like creature was not just a mere girl.
“You sacrificed yourself for my Tree,” she stated, voice echoing across the woodlands. “For my forest, my every creation, despite being an enemy of mine in the past.
“You deserve a token of my gratitude.”
Her voice nearly put you to sleep with the way it lulled in the midnight air. You wondered in your tired mind what she could offer you now that you were breathing your last breath.
Then, you felt her hands upon your stomach.
A loud groan escaped your lips as the torn flesh began to stitch on its own accord, courtesy of the magic which poured from the sublime being. Your whole body worked to heal you, reversing the damage done by your once leader, whose whereabouts you had no inkling of.
The pain, which once tore at every nerve within you, began to fade away, and you opened your eyes further after gaining the strength, fully taking in the earthly spirit which had restored you.
You parted your mouth, voice parched as you rasped out, “I...Beomgyu…”
A heavenly smile curled at her lips. “The prince is fine, soldier. It would take more than a dart to eliminate the heir of the Earth.”
A relieved breath left your lips. You then looked to the being, putting your hands above hers. “I am not who I was,” you whispered.
Mother Nature smiled down at you, and you knew then and there that perhaps the world is not so cruel after all.
“I know, brave human.”
The luminous creature ascended to her feet, letting go of your hands. She dipped her head in acknowledgment, and turned on her heel. Struggling to your side, you watched as the otherworldly figure stepped up to the Tree of Life, looking at you one last time.
Raising a hand to her chin, she blew some magic towards your way, bathing you in sparkles. With a final beam, she slipped into the tree, enlivening the whole structure till it stood straight once again.
You truly could not believe what you saw.
Feeling the glimmer dancing on your skin, however, you knew this was not a figment of your imagination.
Mother Nature saved you from death.
Truly, utterly, ethereal.
Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard soft coughing nearby, and you heaved upward at the sound, your strength all present.
Beomgyu.
Upon your feet, you rushed to where he lay, stumbling from the hurrying as you fell to your knees, hands clinging onto his face. Jisung, his injuries healed from the celestial visit, scurried upon his owner’s chest, waiting for him to awaken.
“Beomgyu?” You murmured out, fingers stroking the soft planes of his cheeks. “Beomgyu, damn you, open your eyes!”
Tilting his face till it faced you, you watched as the prince’s eyes fluttered open, tired and wide and absolutely beautiful.
A trembling breath gasped out of you. “What…” he grated out, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. “What just...happened?”
You willed the tears in as you caressed his face. “The legend was true.”
His confused gaze had you continuing. “Beomgyu, I saw the celestial creature when I was dying, and she saved me. It was true, Beomgyu, she healed me with her hands and—”
Your rambling ceased when the boy brought his fingers to your face. Warmth flooded your cheeks, and not because of how hot his hands were.
His smile could have easily beaten Mother Nature’s.
“You called me Beomgyu.”
He did not let you respond as he brought your face down to his, tilting it slightly as he pressed his lips against yours, enveloping you in a sweet kiss.
His mouth was warm, just like him, soft and plush, rendering you helpless over him. Your shock was quite prevalent, but you let the affection take over as you kissed him back, hands carding in his curls. He moved against your lips as his fingers stroked down to your jaw, savouring every feathered touch.
When he broke away, his breathing was ragged, cheeks flushed. He saw your own dishevelled gaze and chuckled to himself.
“I think this might be the best birthday present I have ever received.”
The Prince of Regna Terrae laughed some more when you refused to meet his eyes.
You were about to counter him when you heard another, completely new voice.
“You both could have done that without me being here.”
Your stare dove to his chest, to the direction of the sound.
Jisung the squirrel glared at you with the entire irritation of the Kingdom. “Oh what? So now you can hear me?!”
A yelp resounded from you. “How are you talking?!” You screeched. “You’re a bloody animal!”
“Oh, thank you so very much for stating the blatantly obvious!” He drawled, and you could not comprehend the sarcasm that just came from a bloody woodland creature.
You peered at Beomgyu, who was just as surprised as you were, despite his entertained features. “____,” he started, sitting up straighter. “Does this mean—”
Getting to your feet, you looked around the forest, the Tree of Life standing proudly.
It was then you sensed the heartbeat.
Not just your own, or the poppies — but of the entirety of the Kingdom.
Faraway, yet still present, it thumped against your chest like an echo of your own heart, a harmonisation of all the trees, bushes, flowers and animals. It was almost enchanting how it slowly thudded within you, and with such welcome.
Like greeting a friend you had not seen for a long time.
When you caught the Prince’s gaze, his entire face lit up.
Before you could say anymore, you were swept into the boy’s arms, engulfing you with a hug of eternal warmth. His voice rang along your soul as he declared to the whole word.
“Nature has accepted you, ____!”
You heard the clicked tongue of Jisung beneath you, and Beomgyu brought you at arm’s length before sticking out his tongue at his pet.
He looked to you once more, and saw the very emotions you dared not let yourself believe in.
“I knew you were capable of change, sweet jackal.”
The tears, this time, refused to be held back any longer.
The boy melted as he swept away each tumbling drop with his fingers, clutching your face.
As you leaned in this time, kissing him breathlessly, you tasted the smile which flourished upon his lips, drinking in your every essence.
You wondered, thinking away as your heart beat faster, whether this was still a dream, a vision which would end the moment you woke up, back in the cold village you once called your home.
When you felt the presence of the celestial being again, looking down from the branches of the Tree of Life, you knew that this was no delusion.
Pulling away, you turned Beomgyu to the glistening, living structure, both of you catching sight of her.
Mother Nature smiled at her heirs.
The both of you knew it in your hearts, simultaneously beating.
The heirs of Regna Terrae would not let her down.
#txt imagines#beomgyu imagines#beomgyu fluff#txt fluff#choi beomgyu imagines#choi beomgyu fluff#choi beomgyu#beomgyu oneshots#txt oneshots#choi beomgyu oneshots#beomgyu soft#choi beomgyu soft#beomgyu scenarios#choi beomgyu x reader#choi beomgyu x you#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu x you
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here's part 2 to the levihan marvel au drabble! im HOOKED help it's not even funny the brainrot hello
part 1 here
“This feels wrong.”
Hange’s hands reached for another arrow.
“Do I... know these people?”
Voices yelled her name, but she didn’t recognize them. Her own ears couldn’t tell if they were familiar or not.
Hange watched her own arrows pierce the hearts of the people in her path, destruction—her mind told her she was winning, but her heart didn’t agree.
She walked away from the scene, a bad feeling lingering in her hand as she gripped her bow close. Unsure of where she was heading, her mind told her to continue, until she reached an unfamiliar location under the cover of night.
A van drove up, and a man with blonde hair and glasses emerged from it—she felt herself salute immediately.
“Agent Zoe, your next task—eliminate Agent Ackerman,” Zeke announced coldly.
Hange paused. It felt as though her soul was split in two—her mind ordered her to go, hopping into the van. But once again, at the same time, something didn’t feel right.
“Ackerman?”
——
Levi revved his motorcycle as he sped through the streets. He stared up, dusk’s blend of purple and orange reminding him of Hange, happy and bright—he choked back tears.
As he gripped the handlebars tighter, an aching pain tugged at the skin of his knuckles, reminding him of the mess he left Erwin and Moblit in. He had been so kind to gift them both a black eye before Petra and Oluo successfully managed to hold him back. And though he felt bad… he didn’t regret it—it has been 5 days since Hange has been gone. 5 whole days. And he knew it wouldn’t have happened if they were together. They had always been safer together.
But the lingering thought set up shop in his mind—Zeke had a powerful grip on her mind and he had her well-being riding on his shoulders.
News searches, and finding that fellow agents have fallen by Hange’s own arrows had been his only clues to her whereabouts. He wasn’t sure how he was going to find her, but he wouldn’t stop until he did. She saved him, and he’d only do the same for her.
——
Under the cover of night, Levi continued to ride his motorcycle throughout the city around locations Hange was recently seen in, when suddenly a loud backfire sounded from behind him.
“Hange??” He yelled in surprise as she sped in on a motorcycle right on his tail.
He didn’t expect Hange to be the one finding him.
An explosion blasted from his side.
And of course, she was heavily armed.
Levi ripped through the streets as Hange remained close behind him, the smell of burnt rubber lingering through the air every sharp turn he made. Another arrow flew by his head, blasting the road in front of him—luckily he was able to drive away just in time before concrete and asphalt could pummel him. It gave her time to catch up to him, and for a moment, he caught a glimpse of her face.
In her eyes was a dark abyss, blank, unrecognizable. Devoid of all the light he ever knew her to be, no smile, no nothing.
It shook Levi to his core.
Distracted, he missed another arrow of hers shooting right at him, and had to jump off the motorcycle to dodge it safely. Levi fell and skidded onto the concrete, yelling out as his skin slid on the rocks.
He was thrown for a loop seeing Hange—relieved to see her again, but simultaneously pained. But, he shook himself out of it. Luckily it was late and no citizens were out and about, but he didn’t want to risk it. So, he made desperate moves to lead himself and Hange at least a little outside the city limits, and he knew just where to go. He ran swiftly back to his motorcycle, and sped down the road towards the docks. A few tears streamed down his face as he rode—whether it was from the road burn or seeing Hange, he wasn’t sure.
——
He led Hange to an abandoned facility just outside the city limits, hopping out to run inside—it’d prevent her from using the explosive arrows in the tight space.
Levi crept through the metal stairs, memories of one of their previous missions ending here on his mind. He hoped the location would stir some memories for her as well. As he searched for higher ground to gain vision for himself, he should have expected Hange to be this fast. There she was, standing on the other side of the metal grate walkway, hanging several floors above ground.
The silence was deafening—he stared at her dark, blank eyes again as they made eye contact—stirring something desperate in Levi.
“Hange, it’s me,” he stuttered, unsure of how to snap her out of it. She ignored his words and pointed her bow at him. Levi dodged as it flew towards him, sliding to swipe her off her feet with a kick.
But the mind-wiping didn’t erase her muscle memory dodging Levi’s go-to move.
She stepped down on his ankle with perfect timing, but he propelled his torso upwards to grab at her bow. He yanked down to bring her to the floor, the metal walkway they were on beginning to swing wildly. The two of them slid and rocked back and forth, tumbling over each other as each tried to gain the upper hand.
“Hange, it’s me, Levi!” He yelled as they struggled. Hange once again ignored his plea, and finally freed herself. To Levi’s surprise, she did the unexpected. He recognize her pulling an explosive arrow, and she aimed it right past him to blow the end of the walkway’s attachment to the ceiling. At this point Levi knew, Zeke had ordered her to kill him—she was not exactly being careful.
The two fell through the air, but Levi was able to ground himself on a platform, luckily catching Hange by the hand before she could fall and severely injure herself, her bow and bag of arrows falling a few stories below, landing with a crash. He took another hand and lifted her up onto the platform, and they began to fight once again. As always, their hand-to-hand combat was evenly matched, each blow matched with a block, every move countered. And like the first time they had ever fought, Levi found himself smiling, and he swore, he saw her smiling too.
It hit Levi like a ton of bricks—the mind-wiping didn’t erase her muscle memory earlier. The mind-wiping didn’t erase what lay in her heart.
And as though Hange was speaking to him, two words weirdly came to mind: “Cognitive recalibration—“
Levi almost laughed out loud as the phrase came to mind.
“Stupid four-eyes,” Levi let out as he remembered her bright voice telling him what that meant years and years ago:
“It means hitting someone really hard in the head, Levi!”
He blocked another punch from Hange, and swung towards her head, but she dodged too quickly. So Levi did the unexpected, tackling her, and her head hit the railing.
Hange yelled out, her hands reaching up to stabilize her head.
“L-Levi?” She said, making Levi’s gut wrench hearing her say his name once again.
Her eyes were still in a daze, not fully there. So Levi decided the safest move…
“Sorry, Hange,” he whispered as he elbowed her in the head, knocking her out cold.
Levi paused, breathing heavily, exhausted. With his sleeve, he wiped the blood dripping from his nose as he stood. He looked down at Hange, and tears of relief fell down his face. He pushed the hair from her face, and kissed her softly on the forehead. Safe.
Levi picked her up, balancing her on his back, letting her head rest on his shoulder. He let himself smile, and climbed down to collect her bow and arrows. He just hoped that it worked, and that her beautiful mind would return shortly.
——
Hange woke, her mind spinning, like she had been riding a crazy roller coaster for days. Her thoughts were cloudy, and she couldn’t hold her head up properly. She groaned, a prickly headache coming on. When she tried moving, she gradually realized her arms were bound to whatever she was sitting on—the word infirmary lit up at the door nearby her, and she tried to ground herself. But, screams of comrades sounded in her brain, broken images of destruction flashed before her eyes before she could focus.
“Are these memories or dreams?” She thought, but it’s like she knew deep down, she wouldn’t be waking up from a nightmare anytime soon. Tears streamed down her cheeks as memories from the past few days became clearer and clearer in her mind.
“Hange…”
Hange looked up, her eyes still dazed.
“You’re gonna be alright.”
Levi stood up, crouching down to look at into her eyes at her level. He almost smiled—she was coming back.
“How do you know I’ll be okay??” She yelled. “I’m still trying to get Zeke out,” she whispered, sweat hugging both sides of her face. Then, Hange continued to cry: “Levi, how… how many agents did I… did I—”
“Hange, don’t.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Don’t do that to yourself, Hange. It was Zeke’s doing, not yours.”
She breathed heavily.
“It’ll take some time to level out, Hange. Rest.”
Still trying to find her mind again, she barked back—“Do you know how it feels to be separated from yourself, have your brain played with, unmade??”
Levi paused—she didn’t even know how strong her heart was, that it almost overcame Zeke’s mind wiping even without his help. She didn’t know how powerful she really was.
“…You know I do.”
Hange muttered regretfully, “Sorry.”
Levi shrugged it off, eliciting an understanding smile from Hange.
“You know where Zeke is now?”
“No. But we’ll find him again, won’t we?” A devious grin appeared on Hange’s face. “I’d love to put an arrow through his stupid looking glasses.”
Levi sat down on the bed next to Hange, hands folded neatly in his lap.
“Now you’re sounding more like you.”
Hange smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.
“We’ll get him, Hange. Don’t worry.”
She turned upwards to face him from where her head lay—“What did Zeke do to you, Levi? I know you’re here for me, Erwin, Moblit… the rest of our close comrades. I have not doubt about that. But I never thought you’d ever really care to fight our war.”
Levi looked at his hands, bandages over the road burn from their fight, reminding him of the look of Hange’s eyes completely blank and unrecognizable in front of him. He couldn’t let Zeke walk around earth thinking he could get away with that.
Levi looked down at Hange, seeing only light and warmth dancing around her big brown eyes, a shy smile on her face making his heart happy.
“I guess… I’ve been compromised.”
#levihan#levihan fanfic#marvel au#mcu au#levihan fanfiction#omgomgomgogm im screaming#oh gosh#ok#im so hooked this isnt even ok#i am not ok no no no#levihan as hawkeye and black widow is just a;sldkfasdlkfj#help
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control ft. tsukishima kei
wc. 1.5k words (and it’s still ass??? a crime)
warnings. SMUT, bad writing lmao, blowjob, whiny kei, (male) masturbation, caught(??) masturbating if you squint, also abrupt ending, way too much exposition, not enough hornknee
an. writing this was like pulling teeth and it is BAD 😀 i am having a writing crisis & this is just the nail in the coffin LMAO anyways this is for @bokuhub (we talked abt it on my main blog but im so sorry ajdhks maybe i’ll write something better later <3)
kei hates feeling out of control.
it’s the reason he’s kept the same circle of friends for the past 5 years, same reason he hasn’t changed his favorite dessert order for even longer than that, and the same reason he is terrified to let you breach the wall between friends and more.
it isn’t that he doesn’t trust you—he does, with his life—but you make him feel things he’s never felt before. kei has had crushes before and he knows that this isn’t that. never in his life has he been so willing to try new things, to meet new people, to give up the control he so desperately needs and it scares him.
he’s scared to become vulnerable and open himself up to rejection or even worse, the loss of your friendship.
so, he ignores it. he pushes down his feelings of almost-but-not-fully-love for you in favor of being close to you.
the closeness, unfortunately, is also a major problem.
growing up, kei had very few friends and even fewer romantic prospects due to his callous attitude and piercing words. he’s only been kissed twice and both of those were with yamaguchi (they were thoroughly unenjoyable kisses, the both of them being 13 and never having kissed anyone else before) but he isn’t exactly ashamed of his status as an unexperienced adult virgin. it just doesn’t help his attraction to you in the slightest.
he realized early on in your “relationship” that you are very affectionate. tight hugs, forehead kisses, holding hands, and cuddling on the couch while watching movies were all normal things for you to initiate with kei on any given day. and on any given day, he would dart out of your hold with a blush on his face and a half assed excuse with a large hand covering his crotch.
he didn’t mean to get hard. it’s just, you were you, gorgeous, kind, and funny and when your soft, small hand (oh god, your hand is so much smaller than his; he wonders how it would look wrapped around his cock) finds its way in his, it’s like his body doesn’t know how to respond so it sends copious amounts of blood to his head and to his crotch.
it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable but you never seem to mind, giggling behind your hand as he darts off to fuck his fist in your bathroom for the third time this week.
this happens to be one of those times, all these thoughts clouding his mind as he stands hunched over your toilet, thrusting into the tight ring of his hand like his life depends on it. all you had done was laugh and he felt himself thicken in his boxers.
kei shakes his head, his blond strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead as he chases his high in the comfort of his hands. kei hates thinking of the way you affect him so easily, his touch-starved body craving you like an animal craves water. but he just can’t help it. thinking of you standing outside the bathroom, listening to his self pleasure and touching yourself or even better, waiting to burst in and look down on him in disgust. it’s that thought that pushes him over the edge, his whole body tensing as he paints rope after rope of cum on the porcelain seat.
kei quickly flushes the evidence of his crime down the toilet before going to wash his hands in your sink. he can hardly look at himself in the mirror, the guilt eating up his spine. is he really that desperate that he can’t hold off masturbating until he goes home? yes. the answer is yes.
he sighs and leaves the bathroom only to run right into you just outside the door. his heart rate picks up in his chest as you look him over with a sweet smile on your face, your eyes lingering on his flushed cheeks.
did you know what he had done? were you going to curse at him? kick him out? or—
“cmon kei, you were in there for forever! we need to study, stupid.” he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding as he follows you into your bedroom, watching as you plop down on your bed and lie down on your back. your shirt rides up on your torso, giving tsukishima a good view of your soft skin and fuck, he feels himself getting hard again.
luckily, you don’t seem to notice his reaction, your eyes trained on your ceiling as a contemplative look crosses your face. “i heard you, yknow,” you say, your tone light but kei can hear an undercurrent of accusation in your words. he freezes, his golden eyes darting towards to door, calculating how much time it would take for him to bolt out the door and into his car to never see you again and—
“i didn’t mind it. your moans are pretty,” you continue, your eyes finally resting on the man in question who looks about ready to sink into the floor.
oh. oh.
kei can hardly think, let alone speak as you rise off your bed and make your way towards him, your eyes holding a glint of something he’s never seen from you before. it only takes a few strides before you’re right in front of him, gazing up into his frames through your lashes as though you’re the embarrassed one.
one of your (small) hands makes its way to hold his face and he feels like he might die, his heart is beating so fast. you give him a small sweet smile that is in direct contrast to your other hand trailing down his body to rest on his belt buckle.
if kei wasn’t hard before, he definitely is now.
you don’t move your hand from its place on his pants as your eyes focus on his bright pink face and plush bottom lip worrying in between his straight white teeth. he looks terrified and you find it in yourself to feel a little bit bad about what you’re about to do.
“kei honey?” all you get in response is a high whimper from the back of his throat and judging by the way his eyes widen and his cheeks burn even brighter, you figure that reaction wasn’t quite anticipated. you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face as your thumb reaches to pull his lip from in between his teeth, the appendage stroking over the soft, bitten skin there.
you don’t consider yourself easily surprised but when kei pulls your thumb into your mouth, sucking on it while gently laving his tongue around it, you feel your knees weaken as a wave of slick paints your underwear. “oh baby... you want me to ruin you, don’t you?”
oh fuck.
kei did want that, more than you could ever know but due to the finger in his mouth and his pounding heart, he found himself unable to answer with anything but a nearly imperceptible nod. thankfully, you saw it and are more than willing to give him what he wants.
carefully, you lead him to your bed, the hand on his belt tugging him until he’s lying back on your covers, gazing at you as though you’re the only person in the world. you feel your heart clench a little at the implications in his eyes but you quickly ignore it to focus on unbuckling his belt.
he’s hard and leaking through his boxers when you finally remove his pants, a quivering sigh leaving his mouth at the cold air hitting the dampness above his tip. when you manage to tear your eyes away from his big (holy shit, was he always that big??) cock and onto his face, the look he gives you has your clit throbbing.
“yn,” kei whines, high and breathy. “p-please touch me- ah, ah, fuck!” his words (and thoughts) are entirely cut off by the sensation of your warm, wet mouth engulfing his dick. he’s so big, you can only take him halfway but what you can’t take down your throat, you pump with your hand.
a litany of curses and moans slip from his lips as you pull up off of him to suck on the sensitive head before taking him all the way back to the hilt. one of his hands jerks to your head to grab a hold of your hair. “holy shit, i-i think i’m going to—yn-“
with only that as a warning, thick cum spills into your mouth, so much that you nearly choke before pulling off of him and stroking him through his orgasm. it takes him a moment to stop cumming, his chest heaving with the intensity of his high.
once you’re sure he’s done, you crawl up the bed until you’re lying next to kei, one of your hands finding it’s way into his hair. his eyes flutter shut at the gesture while he leans into your touch, not realizing how exhausted he is.
with a kiss to the forehead, kei falls asleep, entirely out of control and entirely in love.
#LMAO THERE ARE TWO (2) PARAGRAPHS OF ACTUAL SMUT IN THIS WHOLE THING#i would like to die ? pls and thank? 😀✨#this is embarassinggggg#but i needed to get something out on this acc lmao#wtv 🙃😗✌️#kei <3#😽.writing#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima smut#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x y/n
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A woman out of time (james norrington x f!reader) chapter 2
TW: suicidal thoughts, idk what the word is but the reader is seeing things that isn’t there
You washed your face and looked into the mirror, the circles under your eyes were enormous and it looked like you hadn't slept in days, what indeed was. Every time you closed your eyes you saw the battle of Wakanda or you saw the faces of people that you had murdered. Murdered, you had murdered them. You screwed your eyes shut and clung to the sink for dear life, a sob escaped your lips. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself, your victims should be alive not you, them. Not you, Vision, Vision deserved it. Or Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Peter, T'Challa everyone besides you. T'Challa, yes he deserves my place, but he isn't here to take it isn't he? You softly hummed a song to yourself, a method to soothe you. After a few minutes of humming, you opened your eyes. Red, your eyes were red, you touched your cheeks and you realised you were crying. You stared into the mirror, you saw yourself but you couldn't reconise her. You stared to face and noticed the scars on it, they were small and were from the bomb that exploded right in front of you and you noticed the burn on your neck. You didn't found them ugly, but you didn't love them either. They were a part of you now and you couldn't do anything about it, just like your arm. You felt neutral about them. You picked up your toothbrush and brushed your teeth, the feeling of guilt slowly washing away. You knew that that feeling would never go away, but just like your therapist said you must learn to live with it, if you wanted to live your life in a somewhat peacful state.
Ever since half of the population died you didn't knew what to do, you felt like you didn't belong in the group that they called themselves the Avengers but you also didn't fit in as a civilian, so in the chaos that Thanos left you packed your bags and moved away, after you were fully healed ofcourse. You left everyone a handwritten letter and then you moved into a little old house on the shore.
You heard the telephone ringing, you walked toward the livingroom and picked up the phone. Maybe it was Steve, Natasha or Tony you didn't knew. You wiped your tears away, stupid ofcourse because the caller couldn't see them. ''Hello, with Y/N'' you said into the phone, it was Natasha. ''Hey Nat! How are you? No, I'm not crying why did you think that?'' ''You know that you don't have to lie to me right? But if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to'' ''Yeah, I've been crying but I'm fine now. '' The last part was half a lie, you were fine but a few minutes earlier you weren't. ''Im glad to hear that you are doing alright, sometimes it is just so hard you know?'' You hummed in agreement, not knowing if she talked about her past or about the guilt she felt with the whole Thanos hassle. '' But, Y/N/N, I, no we have something important to talk about. Scott, you remember Scott right?'' ''Yeah, I remember him, he was snapped right?'' ''We thought that too but a few hours ago, he showed up on our doorstep of the compound.'' ''So he wasn't snapped away, you mean'' now it was her turn to hum in agreement. ''Y/N, what I want to tell you is that we can bring them back and we want you to be there,'' you smiled a little and you whispered: ''Ofcourse, I will be there'' ''We will pick you up in an hour, see you then'' ''See you Nat'' Natasha hanged up and you pressed the telephone to your chest and let yourself fall on your little couch and let out a laugh. A few minutes ago you felt on a point of breaking down and now hope streamend into your veins.
An hour flew by and you saw in the distance three figures walking, one blond headed, one red headed and one had dark brown hair. You openend your door and welcomed them inside, ''Hi guys'' you said to them and gestured that they can sit down, you went back to your little kitchen and brought back some drinks and cookies. You sat on a chair and turned your eyes to Scott, ''so you just showed up after 5 years of radio silence?'' ''Yep'' ''how?'' ''I got stuck in what they call the Quantum Realm'' ''What the hell is that?'' you mumbeled, ''Alright so, that realm is a microscopic universe on its own and if you want to be there you have to be really tiny. Time works different there and basically I got stuck there'' ''What do you mean time works different there?'' you asked to him. ''Well, I was missing for 5 years right'' you hummed in agreement, ''but for me it was 5 hours. So I thought what if we can navigate that universe and can enter it at a certain point in time but then exit the realm at another point of time.'' Your eyes widend and your brain couldn't proces it really, ''I don't understand what you mean and that doesn 't make ant sense Scott'' he sighed and then said: ''Timetravel'' ''Like back into the future type of thing?'' you said to him, ''Wait how do you know about back into the future Y/N?'' said Natasha surprised, you turned to Natasha ''I saw it on the television ofcourse!'' Steve furrowed his brows and said: ''How have I never heard of that movie?'' you shrugged your shoulders and focused your attention back to Scott. ''So how do you guys want to timetravel, I still don't understand how you guys want to do this but I'm in.''
At the compound
After you guys could convince Bruce to help, things had happend quickly. First of all he was green, that was pretty weird for you and for the rest of your team. He explained to your group that he emerged himself and the Hulk together, you were pretty grossed out about this and was scared to asked how he did that. Secondly, you couldn't convince Tony to help out wich was disappointing but not surprising, after all you two held contact and you knew that he had a family. You understood that he was scared to loose his life or his family so you didn't try to persuade him into helping your group instead you were chatting with Pepper. Thirdly, without Tony's help was Bruce all alone on how to make this time travel thing. You hoped that he knew how to make this thing, but you weren't so sure about it. Scott was the test person and when he was gone you thought it finally worked but instead he was a teenager, then he was a baby, then he was a grandpa and then he was finally back to normal. There was panic and not just a little! Natasha was relieved when she saw that Scott went back to normal and Bruce spread his arms out and said proud: ''Timetravel!"
''But it didn't work really work'' you noticed, ''yes but also no'' Steve shaked his head and then Bruce said: ''What? I see this as an absolutle win''
Night time
A radio was playing a soft melody. The woman who you stared at didn't move a muscle, she looked like a dear in headlights. Time moved slow, to slow for her and sweat was forming on her forehead. You didn't even knew her name or why you were here, you only knew you had one job. The room reeked of blood and it was coated on the floor, you raised your arm and pulled the trigger before she could even scream. You could hear her body fall, finally you woke up and you could hear your heart racing. You clenched your jaw and stepped out of your bed, your feet touching the soft floor, you hummed softly trying to calm yourself. But you couldn't hear yourself, all you heard was the soft tune of the radio. Shuffling in the dark is never easy, your fingers touched a wall and your eyes went wide. Blood, why was there blood on the wall. You squeezed your eyes and then you saw the pattern on the wall. It was dark green with little leaves and flowers on it, your hand flew towards your mouth when you realised you were not in your bedroom anymore. You turned your head and then everything went back to normal. You didn't saw the blood splatters and the wallpaper anymore but you were in your bedroom?
The next day
A lot happend during the day, Tony showed up out of nowhere. Thor was back, who looked like shit. Rhodey suggested to go back in time when Thanos was a baby and to strangle him, which you found very amusing and Clint showed up with tattoos and a sad background that he killed people just because his family passed away. Everyone grieves differently I guess, some people like me you thought are gonna live in solitude and other people are gonna kill people for the fun of it. So now you were lying on the floor next to Bruce, Natasha and Tony trying to figure out where the stones are. Tony, Bruce and you were arguing about which place and time is the most convienent but Natasha broke your quabble. ''Guys, if you pick the right year there are three stones in new York'' ''Shut the fuck up'' ''You're a genius you know that right'' ''Whoah'' were the three things that were said in unison to her.
After five years you finally wore your suit again. The med pack on your bag felt familiar and you almost forgot how thick the leather was, the only bad side was that you now had to wear a mask. On your wrist was a watch and after twenty explanations from Tony you understood how to work with that thing, above your suit you wore another suit were you would timetravel in. You are going to travel with Tony, Scott and Steve to New York 2012 because Tony could help you with your suit when you didn 't knew how to work with it. ''Can someone please explain to me why I would have to wear a mask again?'' Actually you did know why, because the four of you didn't want to risk that 2012 Steve would regconise you. The Avengers and you were walking in unison and you guys formed a circle. Natasha and Steve looked at eachother and she said to him smiling: ''See you in a minute'' a machine whirred above you and you clicked on a button to summone your helmet and then you were shrinking.
It was a really weird experience to say atleast, your tummy was doing cartwheels and you felt your fingers (but not from your vibranium arm) tingling. You saw blue everywhere and it looked like honeycombs. You marveled at this, but then someone's elbow went into your ribs and you flew out of the orbit. Instead of going right with the others you went straight ahead. Shit, shit shit! But everything went so fast you didn't even had more time to think about it. A flash happend and you had your eyes shut. Your vibranium arm was stuck into something but not for long, whatever your arm was in was ripping and flew down with you. You could hear yells and cursing and then you fell on the ground. Well, not ground but on wood? You heard it crack underneath you and you thought you had fallen through the floor. Something is strange here, you didn't hear any cars, you didn't hear airplanes and you certainly didn't smell the fumes. You sniffed again, and you regconised it, it was salty and now your ears heard the soft waves of the ocean. You were on the ocean, you cracked one eye open and right in your face was a small man with dirt on his cheeks and wearing a mullet. ''Witch! A witch is on our ship!'' Fuck.
#james norrington#james norrington x reader#james norrington imagine#norrington#commodore norrington#potc#elizabeth swann#will turner#jack sparrow#henry turner#commodore norrington x reader#marvel#fanfic#marvelcrossover#avengersinfinitywar#avengers endgame#avengers
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