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literalgrill · 5 months

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Do NOT Support Hard Drive On Patreon

You might see friends today suggesting you support Hard Drive on Patreon today. You know, the funny video games version of The Onion? As a journalist, I will firmly tell you DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME.

The CEO has pushed out all former staff that have built the site up to its current greatness and has been pushing the use of AI. The staff begged to have a Patreon before basically all being pushed out, but the idea was refused until now, when it will only line the pockets of a single person instead of hard working writers.

I know they might have provided laughs before, but Hard Drive is a shell of what it was once. Let it die and support the people who actually made those moments of joy possible. Don't believe me? Check out what former employees are saying below:

Kevin Podas: Okay you know what, I would feel bad saying nothing about this, so here goes:🚨SAVE YOUR MONEY🚨

We passionately advocated for a Patreon at Hard Drive & were aggressively shot down. The talent & people who built the site were pushed out. To see this now is beyond upsetting. For the past few years or so I put a lot of myself into this website. I pitched a ton of jokes, got over 120 articles published, & met a lot of great people. I'm sure if you've been following me for some time you could easily see this.

However, there is a lot of misinformation. I was eventually promoted to Managing Editor of the site & was ecstatic. Grateful for the opportunity. Felt like all of my hard work in the comedy mines was finally paying off. But things took a turn for the worst, & each day there were new surprises that affected our livelihoods. These were all very avoidable surprises, mind you.

A patreon was going to be our hail mary, but alas, for some reason, the power that be did not want it. Causing us to leave a dream job behind. "At least we did all we could," we consoled ourselves afterwards. I put a lot of myself into this project. I pitched all sorts of ideas that could have helped-- we all did. Merch collaborations, Patreon-integrated YouTube content, so much more. And most of them were shot down out of sheer stubbornness and nothing more. To see lie after lie spread, and multiple big publications and YouTubers that I am a fan of promote this Patreon under these pretenses is incredibly upsetting. There are so many receipts.

Please share this and consider pulling out if you've already put money into this. On Hard Drive using AI, also from Kevin Podas: I can't personally confirm that part aside from some of the recent header images for articles on both Hard Drive and Hard Times are being made with AI. As far as writing, it's been mentioned in the past, but I personally do not know. Maybe others do, maybe not. MORE From Kevin Podas suggesting the owner denying a Patreon being set up earlier cost an artist a job that was replaced by AI: We had a social media person who was awesome! He made the images until this AI implementation. He had to leave because ad revenue was low and a Patreon was aggressively refused.

Luca Fisher: at the risk of burning some bridges, i have to back up kevin here. i've only been part-time, in-and-out of hard drive since i got in last year, but i can corroborate that management doubled and tripled down about not hosting a patreon/crowdfunding and that many other suggestions and ideas, including mine (and ones much smarter than mine!), were shot down in really long, apocalyptic threads of everyone left on deck desperately trying to come up with ways to keep the lights on. managerially it has been messy and sad

i've written for multiple publications that have long since died, ones that were in the process of dying, and ones that, in this case, are soon to be put in the ground. it is sad and sucks every time. i don't know what could have been done differently, but i do know that a lot of great writers and content creators were left shorthanded and unhappy by the way things have gone. and it is sort of puzzling to see the sudden championing of patreon after we were all told plenty of times that it couldn't work and we should move on also, just to add my own personal two cents here, i was really disappointed by the shuttering of many different article sections on the site over the past 6-8 months. i understand cutting corners in a deficit, and i know it had to be done. that said…

all in all, i'm really sad to see this all happen. i don't fault anyone, if only because i don't really know enough about how this all can happen to make sense of it. games journalism is in a sad, sorry state, and will likely no longer be a thing in the next decade

VideoSealMan: I'm gonna say this because I think I deserve to. For months, MONTHS on end I was bugging Hard Drive management about a Patreon. Often I got ignored for a week+, but when I actually got a response I was encouraged to - of all things, write up a Google Doc pitching the concept I did it regardless. I wasn't the only one trying to sway management on a Patreon, but so fiercely was I fighting for it that last night, I was accused of making this comment directly by the CEO! With no evidence whatsoever! After I'd been gone for over a month.

I vouched so hard for Patreon because I wanted all the writers and creatives working with Hard Drive including myself to get paid better. When I actually got a response, the idea was often shut down. Eventually due to the state of my company, my pay was cut for a second time I confronted management alongside a couple other important figureheads at the org and told them that if we couldn't do a Patreon - I could no longer financially justify staying there. The answer was still no, so I left. Baffled at the decision, but whatever.

It is unendingly frustrating to know that myself and many other people who put their soul into Hard Drive LEFT because of management's absolute refusal to compromise on a Patreon, to then see them launch one anyway a month later and get over 1000 people pledging money. I'm seeing a lot of things float around about greed and people being fired. No one was fired. Everyone who left, left because they were sick of management's decision-making. And honestly, management is a lot of things but I would not call them greedy. (From my experience.) They did genuinely make an effort to pay people as much as possible. I found the pay very fair for a while. I am not disputing that I was paid what I was owed - yet management frequently feels the need to remind critics of that. Lmao, yes. I was paid what I was owed. No one is disputing payment. You did the bare minimum a business owner should do and paid everyone their due, very well done. I make no allegations of greed, cheating or foul play. I make allegations of poor management and incompetence that has fucked over other people.

Basically the only people left at Hard Drive have been there for about 2 months. They will reap the rewards of this successful Patreon I and so many others passionately fought for for so long. We will not see a dime.

I do not know the new people at Hard Drive, But I feel bad for them. They were haphazardly thrust into Hard Drive's workplace with little to no explanation on how anything works, or given any context on the state of the place. Even now managements feeds them half-truths and misinformation about other people's grievances. I am broke and have been for a while. I had to move out of my flat in Reading and back with my family because of how little money I was making. This has basically doomed my flatmate to moving back in with abusive parents, which is something I feel guilty about every day. If we had gone with the Patreon I worked myself hoarse over back then, this could have been avoided. Some of my other good pals could also not have been fucked over.

It was a bad judgment call, but it's not a crime. It's just management getting it wrong.

So should you give to the Hard Drive Patreon? I don't know! I don't think any of the new people working there to patch up the holes left by the recent mass exodus have any bad intentions. Maybe they deserve it! But it is not the same site you knew a year ago, or even a month ago. Myself and many people who were there far longer than me and did far more for it than I did are all gone now because we could not deal with management's terrible decision-making and dogass communication any longer. That's what you should know, imo

I had an agreement in place with management that I would receive the next 8 months of revenue from the Hard Drive YT channel from my leaving in November. This was a deal I appreciated, and thought was very fair on management's behalf. So far, the deal has been honoured for 2 months. However as of last night I was removed from the Hard Drive Slack without warning, and as an editor for the YouTube channel. This means I no longer have any way of verifying how much I am owed, I just have to take their word for it. I'm sure management will make their own statements full of half-truths and weird language on the many cases being brought against them - I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt if some of the screenshots I've seen of them talking about me are any indication lol

To management; I do not want to talk to you. I want you to DM me a screenshot of how much I'm owed every month and then send me the money per our agreement until June, then we can go our separate ways. Do that and admit to your mistakes, and maybe you can recover your reputation! That's it from me, lol. If they pull out of the deal and fuck me over I'll have more to say, but most of what I know is other people's stories of incompetence and poor decision-making, lol. I genuinely get no pleasure out of doing this; I do not think management is evil - I just think they're really bad at what they do and it's cost other, more talented people, lol. You should believe the writers imo

One last thing I wanna say btw, management did often stress that no one should try to make Hard Drive a full time thing. They were transparent about that, and that is fair. I was working on it because at a few points, I was lead to believe we actually were doing a Patreon. Many other ppl have similar stories of being strung along by management changing their minds and stop-starting shit every 2 weeks. We all made the fatal mistake of overestimating our manager - who would tell you one thing one day and something totally opposite the next week lol

Hunter R. Thompson:

I'm not your dad, but speaking as a Hard Drive writer, I don't know that funding Hard Drive on Patreon is worth it

The driving talent on the back end—behind the kickass site I joined in 2019—have peaced out over the years as the site's been (in our view) increasingly mismanaged. Mismanagement like, not setting up crowdfunding before the ship sank and all its best crew failed; or publishing a screenshot of Andy Ngo pedojacketing a trans writer, complete with her deadname; or a disgruntled ex-writer getting falsely accused of shit-talk, by actual staff. I'm grateful for the writing I've gotten to produce for HD (and will forever be kicking myself for not writing even more, in the four years I've had to do it!! i'm a dumbass!!!) but it is very much no longer the site I signed up for.

I don't want to resign as a contributor altogether, because I'm open to the idea of the site recovering and bad practices being retired as finances level out-- it would just be dishonest for potential backers to not be Aware Of The Circumstances, I think.

Jeremy Kaplowitz: i truly don't want to start shit, but feel compelled to say: i want to see Hard Drive succeed w/o resorting to throwing former writers & editors, myself included, under the bus. surely there's a way to save the site without building it over the corpses of those who left. my $0.02 i don't blame anyone who wants to sign up for the HD patreon and i support the website, but that includes those who worked on it for years, have complaints, and don't deserve to be treated like bitter assholes like this kind of stuff is just objectively true, meanwhile there's these new writers who joined the site after i left (meaning, in the last ~3 months) claiming people are liars. decide for yourself if you care, but this is what happened! [Quotes this Tweet]

Seth Finkelstein: Writing for Hard Drive has been a privilege the past few years, and it makes me so angry to see people I looked up to get jerked around behind the scenes. The amount of grenades the editors jumped on our behalf is immense, and I don't think the way they're being treated is right.

Other Bits On AI: We do know for sure however that AI art has been used by the site. Its fucking owner confirms it here:https://twitter.com/MattSaincome/status/1743040541603123622. Seems the owner pushed AI written articles as well! TayFabe: My vaguetweet is making the rounds & these made me apoplectic. - owner regularly lobbied using ai. Once he tested it & said ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. - ai images were used on the site & socials w/o consulting the team or disclosing it publicly I found the ai bit relevant to include bc 1) it illuminates a stark change in HD's current direction & leadership, 2) ai images have previously been used on the site and (since deleted) ig posts, 3) ai content fucking sucks, and repeatedly pushing to use it is a telling quality The "handful of writers who chose to leave" includes 2 editors-in-chief (both cofounders who wrote a combined total of >1,000 articles & defined the voice of HD), & at least 3 other editors. These guys put in WORK since 2017, so cool to be corrected by ppl who joined in Nov 2023 [Link to mentioned vague tweet from post.] More from TayFabe: owner continuously lobbied for using ai in every possible way. No one else wanted to do it, but he kept on, saying ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. Also, ai images were used on the site & socials without public disclosure or consulting the team.

The owner has responded now multiple times in a private discord... Thank you for people sharing screenshots! First Screenshot:

Kevin's Response: He banned me from the server for speaking out, so no, I didn't see it. And he gave no indication of a timeline, it was just "we'll do one when *I* say so" and gave every inclination he was totally against it. It bred an environment that pushed our hands to have to leave. Screenshot Round Two:

Kevin's Response: "Starting one in 3 months" is an absolute lie. He denied it, I have screenshots and others who can confirm. No timeline was given. Just "this is what it is now" and like, I couldn't live off of that. I wanted to do more but he was allergic to good ideas from others around him.

Matt, owner of Hard Drive, responds publicly on Twitter.

Matt: Kevin, the patreon launch was delayed because I didn't think it would work. Everyone is happy that it did work. Everyone who left the site because we didn't have money to pay for creative content which didn't revenue is welcome to return home. But unclear why the hostility.

Hard Drive paid out literally every dollar it had, then a bunch more, to creative people who worked on the site. When we ran out of money, we couldn't pay anymore. We did our best.

Kevin: Right, and my point of this thread was that it was completely and totally avoidable. This is reasonable to be upset about. How could I have been any more clear?

Matt: If we knew with 100% certainly that the community would have supported us via patreon, we would have done that. We didn't know. We had tried 4 years ago and got no support. We were wrong this time. We did our best to figure it out. We paid all the money we could.

Kevin: So you knew with 100% certainty this time? Or you took a leap of faith?

Matt: It was a last gasp panic effort after ad rates got cut in half on january 1st due to seasonal spending changes. We didn't know it would work. We were embarrassed to ask for support. We wanted to figure it out.

Kevin: Every site has a Patreon. Every YouTuber, comedy group, etc. But you insisted that nobody cared about Hard Drive. Which is wildly untrue. I know you see that now, but again, I think you can see why I and many others are pretty upset. A last ditch panic effort was long overdue. A couple more things from Matt:

It was about the size of the hole we needed plugged budget wise, the time I had left of personal resources, and the past data I had about us trying a patreon (which turned out to be a bad indicator). I didn't think the Patreon would help us fast enough. I made a bad estimation

aka "if we make $1000 more dollars a month via patreon, which would be 10x what we got last time, we will not solve any of our problems. If instead we try to plow down path B, we might make it out in time." That was the thinking. I chose the wrong path, but didn't mean to Kevin also retweeted this comment from the user Matt was responding to: So you're saying that you're bad at running the business, didn't listen to any of your employees until after they were forced to leave their jobs, and now you're going to get more of the money from the Patreon that was their idea in the first place? Matt's Response: Respectfully, I made a mistake delaying the patreon decision. But keeping a comedy site alive for 9 years is not easy, there are lots of potential ideas, and think overall we've done a good and honorable job. Will leave this thread in peace now to allow people their space.

Sorry for linking to Elon's hellsite (derogatory), but sources need links so...

#video games #patreon #hard drive #ai critical

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brackenfur · 2 months

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okay so i kind of.......wrote a lot more than i really intended to, but long story short - years ago i had this headcanon/au of sorts that birchpaw/fall saw ashfur and hawkfrost at the lake together, standing over firestar. mostly because when you squint at that whole sequence it kinda doesnt add up in canon, but its not canon that birchfall saw anything - it's just me taking this what if scenario and expanding on a side character

anyways this was kinda a quick project so its not perfect buuuuuut i wrote something so ! enjoy :)

birchpaw is back at camp doing everything he can to avoid the worried looks of his clanmates when his mentor stops him.

"hey, birchpaw," the fur on the back of birchpaw's neck stands up, and he slowly turns to the other tomcat. "are you okay?"

birchpaw does the best he can to keep the nervousness out of his voice as he answers: "i'm fine, ashfur. really. i- uh, i mean, i really just wish i had...been faster, that i had..."

he can't look at ashfur's face. not now, maybe not ever again. he knows that as soon as he meets his eyes, he won't be able to stop asking questions:

what were you doing with a riverclan cat? why didn't you help firestar? did the other cat threaten you? did you-

"you did the best you could, birchpaw," ashfur tells him gently; he pauses, flicking his tail-tip, before murmuring: "come on, let's go over to the apprentice's den to talk. i can tell you're shaken up."

and you're not, birchpaw wants to say, but he's a coward. this is his uncle, his mother's twin, and he doesn't really know what he saw, anyways. maybe ashfur had been standing there, sure. and maybe firestar had been clearly injured, clearly dying - well, ashfur isn't a medicine cat. he couldn't have known that, even if birchpaw had been making a lucky guess. but maybe hawkfrost threatened him, or maybe he lied to him-

you don't believe that at all, he thinks.

but he follows his uncle all the same to the apprentice's den; whitepaw is comforting her father at the medicine cat den while leafpool treats firestar's wound. no one is around - they're all either out searching the territory to make sure hawkfrost didn't have any accomplices, or with firestar's family on the other side of camp.

"you did the best you could to get help as soon as possible, birchpaw," ashfur tells him softly; birchpaw is staring at the grass between his paws, not looking at the other tom. "everyone knows that. i'm sure firestar does, too."

"right."

"but i could scent your fear-scent," ashfur continues, "and it does seem like you didn't go straight back to camp after telling firestar about blackstar. why?"

birchpaw's whiskers quiver. he shouldn't be scared - if anything, ashfur should be worried. he's the one who didn't do enough to help.

but the look in ashfur's eyes. the blank, distant stare as he watched firestar gurgle at his paws.

even the badgers didn't look at sootfur like that after they killed him, birchpaw remembers.

"i....," birchpaw's voice wobbles. "i thought i scented another cat, and i was worried," he clears his throat, trying to stop the shakes, "about you. i thought- i thought maybe you were...in trouble, and i...."

ashfur is quiet for a long time; if birchpaw wasn't so scared - why should i be scared? he's my uncle and my mentor, he wouldn't....he'd never.... - he'd look up, joke with him. pretend like it's all a big joke.

but those eyes. that look. the sounds firestar was making.

"so you didn't go straight back to camp," ashfur says with a disappointed sigh, "and firestar lost a life."

birchpaw's heartbeat skips. his paws shake. "wait," he says, his voice becoming shrill. he doesn't want anyone else to hear, but- what ashfur's saying, it's not...that's not right. that's not how it went. "wait, i- i did go back, as fast as i could, and i told squirrelflight-"

"you waited to tell her, you mean," ashfur tells him, frowning. "and he lost a life because he lost too much blood."

"but i didn't....i'd never..."

"it probably wasn't your intention," ashfur murmurs. "but that's how it happened. what if it was his last life? firestar and i trusted you to do one simple task, and you couldn't do that. you can't even look your uncle in the eye when he's talking to you."

birchpaw quivers as he slowly lifts his eyes to look into his uncles. ashfur's dark blue eyes stare back at him, just as emotionless as they did hours before.

"that's better," ashfur tells him, but it doesn't feel better. all of this is wrong.

"i was just trying to help," birchpaw whispers. "i didn't....i saw..."

"what did you see?" ashfur asks him, with a tone that birchpaw's never heard him use before: it's low, angry.

it's terrifying.

"um," birchpaw stutters. "i don't- i don't know. i don't know what i saw."

i saw you. i saw you and hawkfrost.

"if you don't even know what you saw," ashfur says slowly, "then maybe you shouldn't say anything. not to me, or to your mother. not to firestar."

birchpaw slowly lowers his gaze. how did today end up like this?

"you didn't see anything out there, birchpaw," ashfur continues. "you're an apprentice - you don't know your left paw from your right paw."

"okay."

ashfur stares at him for a long moment, sighing. "i'm not trying to scare you, birchpaw," he murmurs, "but i don't want you to get in trouble for firestar losing his life. sometimes we make mistakes; i don't want this one to be the defining moment of your apprenticehood."

shame burns through birchpaw - shame that he can't stand up to his uncle and tell him that this is all wrong.

but more shame that there's a part of him, deep down, that knows ashfur is right. if birchpaw had been quick enough, firestar wouldn't have lost a life. hawkfrost would've been stopped quicker.

and maybe....maybe ashfur was just trying to help firestar. maybe in some way, he's embarrassed because he couldn't help him, either. is that what this is about? trying to save face, because brambleclaw once again saved the day when ashfur couldn't?

"i want to be a good apprentice."

"and i'll help you do that," ashfur tells him, his voice becoming warmer. "and we'll start by making sure that today stays behind us, forever. okay?"

"okay."

it doesn't feel okay.

the rest of his apprenticeship goes by largely uneventfully. ashfur isn't exactly the same as before he and squirrelflight drifted apart, but he never speaks to birchpaw the way that he did the day firestar was injured.

he becomes a warrior by the name of birchfall. he makes friends, falls into an easy routine. he even still spends time with his uncle - with each passing day, the events from that afternoon become a faded memory. sometimes it plays out differently in his mind - there's days where he thinks he did see ashfur try and help firestar. where he heard him tell hawkfrost to go away.

(and maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was back then if the memory keeps changing. if it really was so awful, wouldn't it be the same? was he just trying to make ashfur out to be a bad cat?)

everything in thunderclan is mostly calm, until ashfur gets lionpaw as an apprentice.

he's heard cats joke about being jealous when their old mentor gets another apprentice - how it's weird, seeing the cat who taught you everything teaching someone else the same things, telling the same jokes.

he's still ashfur's nephew, so he knows that his former mentor still holds a special place in his heart for him - but it's not exactly that jealousy that other cats talk about that he feels towards lionpaw.

he feels...strange, seeing them together; there's this weird fluttering feeling he gets when he catches ashfur's expression as lionpaw walks away from him.

sometimes he can hear a voice in the back of his mind, screaming at him to go and get between the two of them. to protect lionpaw.

but ashfur....well, it's ashfur. outside of that one afternoon moons before, he's a normal warrior. he wouldn't...

so birchfall does what he did over a year prior; he buries the feelings. he can't trust his eyes - that's what ashfur told him before. he doesn't know his left paw from his right paw.

(except that he's a warrior now, and a damn good one, so why-)

that changes one day, when the talk of thunderclan is how lionpaw and ashfur got into this huge fight - claws drawn, teeth bared. ashfur scratched up pretty badly, spiderleg had told him, shaking his head.

i knew that was going to happen, he's not a medicine cat or particularly gifted, but he knew. he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.

i knew he was going to hurt him, birchfall watches as lionpaw trudges into camp, surprisingly fine physcially - ashfur is the one with the injuries, blood dripping on the camp floor as he trudges to leafpool's den.

lionpaw is standing there after all is said and done, after cats talk to him to ask him if he's okay. standing there in the center of camp, alone.

birchfall is only foxlengths from him, watching, and the thought slips into his mind easily: i should tell him that i know what ashfur is really like. that i saw the same look in his eyes that he probably saw. that he watched firestar die inches from his paws and did nothing to help him.

he almost does it, too. the memories from that day come back, flooding his vision - ashfur's dark expression. the white flash of hawkfrost's teeth. firestar's gurgles.

i'm so sorry, firestar.

"why are you staring at me?"

birchfall snaps out of it quickly; lionpaw is staring at him, amber eyes narrowed.

"what?" birchfall blinks. "i wasn't staring at you."

"yeah, you were," lionpaw tells him, shaking his head. "weirdo." lionpaw hisses under his breath.

and before birchfall can say anything, do anything, hollypaw and cinderpaw bound up to him to talk to him, stealing the moment away.

birchfall watches the apprentices for a couple more seconds before he turns away.

he didn't see anything that day. it's his fault that firestar lost a life, anyways. that's all anyone would be able to see - firestar is one pawstep closer to being gone forever because of him.

birchfall keeps his word for the moons to come; lionblaze becomes a warrior with hollyleaf and cinderheart. whitewing - his longest friend, the molly who withheld her warrior ceremony for him, just so he wouldn't be alone,

(and was there for him on the nights when all he dreamt of was the lakeshore, never asking him what woke him up shaking)

well, they become closer and closer until they're not really just friends anymore, and one morning she bounds up to him to tell him that she's carrying his kits. that leafpool had just told her moments before, and she couldn't wait to find him.

and it finally feels like maybe birchfall is at peace - maybe starclan isn't angry with him after all. maybe that one thing that birchfall didn't do years ago - it'll be okay. firestar is alive and happy, with grandchildren now.

the fire rages through thunderclan not long after, but thankfully there's no casualities - he grew up hearing the stories of the one from years ago, back in the old territory before he was born, and he's glad that everyone was okay this time.

well.

he heard berrynose say that everyone had been looking for squirrelflight, her kits, and ashfur for awhile - that ashfur had turned up, laughing. he wouldn't say what was so funny, though.

he didn't think much of it, until he saw the way ashfur was acting after the fire. the way he leered after squirrelflight and her kits; hollyleaf's eyes glaring back in defiance, lionblaze's hackles raised, jayfeather's avoidance.

i don't want any part in this, he thinks, focusing on whitewing and their future together. i didn't see anything. i don't know anything. ashfur isn't dangerous.

he repeats the mantra more often than he'd like; at night, he dreams of the lakeshore for the first time in years and wakes up shuddering against spiderleg's side. his older brother shakes him off, confused, but birchfall can't meet his gaze, or anyone elses.

i didn't see anything. i didn't see anything. i didn't-

and then just like that, one day ashfur is found dead on their territory.

someone said that a patrol found him in a river, throat torn out.

it doesn't feel real to birchfall until he sees his uncles body laid out in the center of camp, with ferncloud's muzzle pressed into his fur.

that's my uncle, he thinks as he watches spiderleg lead icepaw and foxpaw to their mother, trying to comfort her. he was my mentor.

you don't know what you saw. it's ashfur's voice, clear as day in his mind as he watches his clanmates gather around the tomcat. you don't know your left paw from your right paw. you're just an apprentice; how can anyone trust you after what you did?

firestar walks over to ferncloud and dustpelt, murmuring a few kind words to them. birchfall can hear his leader's voice carrying over the wind, mentioning something about dogs, about bravery.

he watched you lose a life, birchfall wants to scream, but he can't move. he stood there and watched you gargle for breath and did nothing.

birchfall shuts his eyes. no. no, it was because of me, because i decided to take too long to go back to camp, his mind can't decide what's right or wrong. it's my fault, that's what....that's what ashfur says, and...and now he's dead, so....

"birchfall," whitewing's voice is soft; he jolts, eyes wide as he looks at his mate. she leans against him, whiskers drooping. "this is so sad. i mean....ashfur, i just- i just talked to him yesterday. he was asking me about the kits, if i was feeling okay..."

you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew what i did, ashfur had never threatened him after that day, but birchfall knew that was what his uncle was conveying to him every time they talked after that day. that he could tell everyone, and everyone would know it was birchfall's fault that firestar lost a life.

or....or wait, maybe that wasn't right. not anymore.

maybe he should blame himself for not saying anything all these years. he could've told firestar and had ashfur punished, and he didn't.

the realization burns deep in his chest; he can barely register what whitewing is saying.

ashfur knew that if you said something, any cat could probably figure out that something about his story didn't add up, birchfall thinks, his heart thudding. and you were just too stupid to realize you could have said something years ago.

"birchfall?" whitewing says, frowning. "hey, birchfall. are you okay?"

birchfall's fur raises. "i'm okay," he tells her, taking a deep breath. "all things....you know, considering, i..." he shakes his head. "i'm gonna get some air, okay?"

whitewing touches her nose to his. "i'm here, you know that, right? i've been here for you since we were 'paws."

that stings more. i could have told you years ago, birchfall touches his nose back to hers, and turns away. i can't say anything now. she'd never trust me again, i kept this secret from everyone because i was too scared of my uncle. and now he's dead, and now....

birchfall resigns himself not to think about it anymore. he can't.

he can't. he won't.

after his daughters are born, birchfall wants this to be his new purpose in life.

forget about the lakeshore. the foxtrap. hawkfrost. ashfur. firestar is fine now; thunderclan is fine. sure, maybe there's been some earth-shattering secrets that have been revealed, but- all in all, they're mostly fine.

ivypaw and dovepaw mean the world to him; he can't imagine being without them.

he looks at them and wants to do right by them; they'll never know the fear he's carried for all this time, the same.

he'll teach them to say something if they see something; to be outspoken, brave.

but he can barely keep his head above water; it started when he met a cat from the dark forest one night. who promised him that he could make up for the mistake he made years ago; that he could do right by firestar. by thunderclan.

he trains every night but it doesn't make the shame go away. it won't scrub off after he bathes himself. nothing works.

it's not until the wall is lifted over his eyes - after his daughter, ivypool, a warrior grown - tells him what the true intention of the dark forest was.

all the moons he spent there, training, trying to prove that he could make up for what he did - gone.

and after the battle with the dark forest, both his mother and firestar are dead - killed by the cats that birchfall wanted to impress. wanted to show that he could be better, that he could be stronger.

how did everything go so wrong? he thinks as he watches his father crouched over his mother. dustpelt won't even look at him; he doesn't know about firestar, but he knows about the dark forest. and he hates him - despises him for training with the cats who are responsible for ferncloud's death.

he's right.

"birchfall," whitewing's voice jolts him out of his thoughts. "please. i want to talk."

it was inevitable - he knows that it's over between them at this point. he follows her out of camp regardless, deep into the territory. there's birds in the trees, chirping quietly amongst themselves, and everything is in bloom, yet nothing is beautiful to him at this moment.

whitewing turns to face him, her green eyes sad. "can you just tell me why?"

birchfal looks down at his paws, just like he did years before when ashfur told him to keep quiet.

"i'm sorry," he tells her, and she scoffs.

"i'm sorry isn't an explanation," she meows. "just....why, birchfall? why would you train with cats like that? and why- our daughter was there too, why wouldn't you try and convince her not to? what's wrong with you?"

i'm a coward.

"that's still not an answer," he hadn't realized he said it aloud. he finally looks up at his mate - probably soon to be ex-mate. "you need to talk to me. you're not a 'paw anymore."

and for some reason that burns more than anything else.

you're not a 'paw. you should have said something. you should have told everyone what you saw. and you didn't. it's your fault. all your fault. everything-

"i need to tell you something," he finally says; the story is bubbling at the surface. ashfur is long dead. firestar is dead. his family hates him. whitewing is going to leave him anyway; what else does he have to lose? brambleclaw might exile him, might not; he might not care what birchfall does.

whitewing is silent; birchfall opens and shuts his mouth a few times, trying to find the words, until he meows:

"i saw what happened to firestar on the lakeshore, that day when hawkfrost from riverclan died."

whitewing frowns; she looks taken aback, and blinks a few times.

"i....ashfur...he told me that he scented blackstar on our territory," the memory comes back hazy at first, but starts to clear as he goes on: "he said to tell firestar about it. i did, but....a few minutes later when i was heading back, i could scent another cat. and i remembered ashfur was out there, and i was worried for him, so i followed him and the other cat so i could protect him. and..."

the gurgling. the look on ashfur's eyes. the sound of the water lapping at the shore.

"ashfur was standing with hawkfrost over firestar's body. he was caught in the foxtrap and....ashfur, he...." birchfall shuts his eyes. "you should've seen how he looked. he didn't care at all that firestar was dying. i ran away, i didn't....i didn't know what to do. i thought maybe i didn't see anything at all, so i just told squirrelflight what ashfur had said about blackstar when i saw her. i thought....i thought maybe if she caught ashfur and hawkfrost, it'd....she'd know what to do, more than i would....."

birchfall stares at his paws. "when i got back to camp and brambleclaw had killed hawkfrost, ashfur told me....he said i didn't see anything, and it was easier to pretend i didn't see anything. and he was...he was right - i should've just gone back to camp right away. i should've just done the right thing, not been a stupid 'paw. i should've...it's my fault that firestar lost a life. he'd still be here right now if i just had listened back then, 'cus he'd have an extra life, and..."

birchfall trails off, shaking. "so that's...that's why i wanted to train at the dark forest. because i let firestar down. because i didn't say anything all these years, and i should've....i mean, what if ashfur had hurt someone else? and i just sat there and let it happen."

it takes him a moment after everything spills out to realize that whitewing is very quiet; he finally looks up at his mate.

she looks so sad watching him; and there's a bit of anger in there, too.

"he threatened you?" whitewing finally says; birchfall winces.

"i don't....maybe, it doesn't really matter."

"you were his apprentice and his nephew," whitewing tells him firmly. "of course it matters. he knew he was manipulating you, and that you just wanted to please him, so you'd do anything to make sure you wouldn't make trouble."

whitewing's tail lashes, and she shakes his head. "that- i can't believe he did that to you, that he made you think...."

"whitewing, it's-"

"it's not your fault, birchfall," her voice is gentle, yet he can tell she's holding back so much rage, rage for ashfur, pain for firestar's death. "if you really think for one second that you have anything to do with firestar laying in that clearing right now, you're completely wrong. that was tigerstar, first of all, and ashfur's fault years ago."

"but-"

"you went to help your mentor, and you were intimidated into keeping this a secret," she tells him, stepping closer. "and now you think that because you didn't say anything, that that's worse than what he did."

"i should have said something," birchfall tells her, harsher than he means to. "i mean - for starclan's sake, whitewing, i- i saw, and i didn't do anything. i'm no better than he is-"

"you are twice the cat that ashfur was," whitewing meows firmly. "and if i had even....if i saw him right now, i'd slash his ears for doing that to you."

whitewing shakes her head, looking at him. "all these years," she whispers, frowning, "all these years, and we- when you were in the apprentices den, having nightmares..."

"you couldn't have known," he mumbles. "i didn't tell you."

"and then....birchfall, i..." she presses her noses into his neck; birchfall is stiff from shock.

"i thought you were breaking up with me," he tells her, aghast; whitewing sucks in a breath, pulling away.

"what?"

"why not? after the dark forest, all of this...."

"i'm disappointed in you for training with the dark forest," she tells him softly. "but your mother is dead, and you....you've been holding this in for years, birchfall. i can put off asking you about the dark forest for awhile; i.....i didn't know. all these years, and i had no idea you were punishing yourself for ashfur's crimes."

when she puts it like that, a small - a tiny one, really, nothing huge - light begins to flick in his mind.

i've been punishing myself, he thinks, and it strangely makes a lot of sense - thinking about the lake all these years has felt like punishment. refusing to get close to firestar out of shame was his way of punishing himself, telling himself what he did was wrong.

"i don't know if i can tell anyone else," birchfall tells her in a whisper; whitewing nods, brushing her muzzle against his.

"that's okay," she meows, "because now i know, and now i can shoulder it with you."

"it's not a very romantic secret." he doesn't say it like a joke, but she still smiles a little.

"it's not," she shrugs. "but no one helped birchpaw back then; i'm here for you now."

#i ended it a little abruptly cus i just needed to finish it lolll #wc #shark noises #if it doesnt necessarily flow well im sorry its just a quick project

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rinsaint · 1 year

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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓. ft atsumu miya

you find out the local loser in your school is actually a pervert

[ ☆ ] — pairing: atsumu miya x fem! reader

[ ☆ ] — contains/warnings: MDNI. nsfw, panty stealing, shy atsumu, atsumu jerks off and sniffs your panties, not rlly smut but minors dni !!

[ ☆ ] — a/n: this was sent in as a drabble from @prostheticmind !! shout out to them and their idea.

Atsumu was a mess every time he pocketed a new little treasure of yours, his hands would sweat and he would become jittery, so he always took them right before he was going home from your place, after studying. The temptation of them in his pocket was too much, like they were burning in his pocket.

He loved the adrenaline of it.

The first time he had done it, he was over at your house to finish a project. You were the popular on campus. You had every boy drawn to you, including himself. He felt lucky that you even spared a glance to him or even talked to him. Even though you forced him to do most of the project, he felt lucky that he had gotten to spend time with you, even though you didn’t feel the same way.

Atsumu had fit his hand in his jacket pocket, assuming that touching the soft fabric would calm him down a little, get him to act a bit like a person that wasn’t about to have a complete meltdown. If he thought he was being a mess before, after touching your frilly panties he had found in your laundry basket, he was practically dying.

After that, he became addicted.

He started taking the effort to make out a whole strategy to get away with his perverted needs, which was probably what made it all blow up in his face.

Things went south right as soon as he walked in through the your front door.

“you’re here early. let me get my laundry done real quick then you can do all the work, yea?”

Atsumu’s throat closed up at your words. He absolutely needed a new pair tonight, four of them already smell more like his cum after getting off on it so many times, and he was getting tired of them.

Atsumu needed to act fast, so as soon as you entered your bedroom he made a bee-line to your bathroom and closed the door. He ruffled around the basket between the sweatpants and t-shirts until he found what he was looking for. Atsumu was panting as if he was mid-way through his training, his hand was shaking as it pulled out a stitch of baby pink fabric.

It was a thong.

Atsumu didn’t know you used thongs, he must’ve missed them the previous times. He bit his lip and practically got hard thinking about you in the fabric.

It was thanks to that moment where he had to take time to gather his bearings that it all came crashing down.

Thanks to that fucking thong.

So when you swung open the door you caught him red handed, staring at you like a deer in the headlights. One hand stuffing something light pink in his pocket. Your eyes widen as you recognised what it was.

You stare at him for so long, lips slightly opened, brows lifted, a pissed off look in your eyes.

“the fuck..”

He stuttered out a response, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

“Y/n, please! I… it’s just… I’m sorry! I didn’t–“

“How long have you been doing this?” Your expression was unnervingly neutral, your voice strangely calm.

Atsumu had to clear his throat to sneer you, avoiding your eyes burning into his skin. “A-A month or so?”

“You’re asking me?”

Atsumu was in shock at your change in attitude. Sure, you’d always gone toe-to-toe with him whenever he started to get too clever, which was rarely. But now you were so commanding all of a sudden. And god dear he say, it turned him on.

“A month, yeah. Maybe a month and a week, t-the night you were going off about Taylor Swift’s new album”

You only let out a soft ‘Mhmm’ in reply but your gaze stayed on him. Atsumu finally managed to make his feet move and he started to back as far away from you as possible to get to the bathroom door.

“Listen y/n I’m so sorry, I know it’s disgusting. I’m gonna go and—“

“You know it’s disgusting, and you did it anyways.”

Your tone was clinical, factual, like you were discussing something trivial. Atsumu squirmed, his eyes locked on the floor.

“Yes, I know! I know—“

“You’re shaking, tsumie.” You pouted, strutting over to him, grazing your hand over his arm.

His eyes peered down to yours, and Atsumu inhales slightly. He couldn’t place it, but there was something in the way your eyes were boring into him. Something so consuming he couldn’t look away.

“You’re shaking, stuttering, your face is red… I’ve never seen you this embarrassed. You must really be ashamed of this.” You taunted, your voice smooth and teasing as your pointer finger grazed up and down his arm.

Atsumu tried speaking but words failed him so he only nodded effusively.

“And yet… You couldn’t help yourself.”

He shut his eyes, and pulled away from you but you quickly grabbed him by his arm, pulling him closer to you.

“tsumu, hey look at me.”

Atsumu relaxed into your touch, he opened his eyes and he felt his cock get tighter in his pants when you were inches away from his face.

“You couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t you? Bet you were getting off to them by rubbing it against your face, am i right?”

“y-yes..”

Your breasts pressed against his chest from how close you were to him. The lust in your eyes consuming him and swallowing him whole completely.

“Bet you’d do anything to rub your face against the real thing.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq x reader #astumu x reader #atsumu smut #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #atsumu x female reader #atsumu x reader smut #haikyuu x you #haikyu x reader #haikyu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu hcs #haikyuu atsumu

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crystallizedday · 8 months

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So I have no idea if anyone else has made a post like this already, but at this point, I’m gonna EXPLODE if I don’t get this out of my system.

This has been haunting my brain for WEEKS & I am NOT having it.

Ice Marcy.

Lil angel.

DEFINITELY a result of Marceline dying at some point.

I mean, we have the Winter King telling Simon he can ALWAYS make an Ice Betty if Simon misses her so much, & while he SAYS that he’s joking & states how such a thing is clearly unethical…

Let’s be honest…

Bro’s a fuckin hypocrite saying that.

I mean, what he did to PB is fuckin unethical as hell, so if he’s morally fine with THAT, what’s stopping him from coping with the death of a loved one by making a living ice replica of them?

Anyway, a bunch of people already agree with that shit anyway, so that’s not what I’m here to address.

I’m here to talk about the when & how of the situation.

Cause I’ve seen a lot of people assuming Marcy died at a very young age due to her appearance as a child in her ice form & this “flashback” scene from WK’s song.

But that just cannot be the case.

Why?

Marceline’s bass.

Her bass (that in actuality is just a fuckin ax) is a family heirloom that once belonged to Hudson.

She only acquired possession of it to modify it into a bass once she met Hudson AFTER Simon had left her for good in her adolescence(?).

This means she COULDN’T have died during the apocalypse phase of Ooo.

So when could she have died?

Well, while a ton of people speculate it was right before or even right after the Winter King’s transformation into himself, I believe it was sometime AFTER, just not quite right away.

Cause ya gotta remember:

Marcy & Bonnie weren’t talking for HUNDREDS of years after their breakup.

& they only started hanging out again about two decades earlier from where we are in the present, which is still FAIRLY RECENT.

As Simon states in the episode, the Winter King had cursed PB ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO.

This means she & Marceline were STILL not on speaking terms by the time she got cursed.

HOWEVER

As we see in the very first Adventure Time finale, right before our two favorite lesbians kiss, Marcy admitted she was still TERRIFIED that PB would get hurt WHILE they weren’t talking.

So what does this tell us?

Lemme pitch y’all MY take on how Marcy TRULY died.

The Winter King found a way to project his insanity onto Bubblegum, reshaping himself & his kingdom with his newfound lucidity.

Sometime LATER (either soon after or even decades later), Marceline checks up on the situation after seeing the Candy Kingdom absolutely FUCKED & the Ice Kingdom flourishing, sees what happened to the two rulers, slowly puts two & two together, & interrogates the Winter King on it.

Cause like… while it’s awesome to have “Simon” back, Marceline realistically would NOT stand for it to come at the cost of Bubblegum’s sanity. Even if their relationship was still rocky, she still CARED about Bonnie & her safety.

She demanded the Winter King to undo this, telling him what he was doing was MONSTROUS…

But at some point, whether intentionally or unintentionally…

He did it.

HE killed her.

Either to stop her from reversing the spell herself or to get her to shut up so he wouldn’t have to face the fact that what he did was wrong.

He killed her, & felt such an overwhelming sense of guilt that he decided to cope with what he did…

In probably the most fucked up way possible.

As long as she didn’t know the truth, everything can be fine.

& what’s more oblivious & unquestioning than a small, impressionable child?

Much like how PB intentionally made her citizens stupid to avoid conflict :))))))

Anyway, uh

That is all.

You’re welcome for the heartbreak IWJWOWJWOSKWODK

#winter king #Marceline #princess bubblegum #bonnibel bubblegum #simon and marcy #simon petrikov #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #theory crafting #I guess #JWWODKWODWD

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sincerely-sofie · 22 days

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Chapter 9 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess (Round 4) + The Prisoner (Part 1)

Listen. I may be stupid. But I'm also dumb.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

EYYYYYYYYYY this is personally relevant in a very darkly humorous way, right down to the wording! Loving the player character and how much I can project experiences with psychosis onto the guy.

Okay hear me out HEAR ME OUT, this is me stretching this quote SO FAR to mean what I want it to mean BUT. As far as we know, the player character is the only person the Princess has ever met. Is this the Ultra Princess commenting on the fact that she doesn't know anyone but the player character? Long Quiet Personification PC confirmed????

PC'S PERCEPTIONS OF THE PRINCESS INFLUENCE WHAT THEY BECOME!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOO

I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO TELL THE ULTRA PRINCESS ABOUT THE NARRATOR. FINALLY.

Oh shoot. Um. We appear to be closer to the ending than I thought...

YOU FRICKIN' FRICK I WANTED TO GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE GAME WITHOUT PICKING UP THE KNIFE EVEN ONCE. DANGNABBIT.

Nope don't like the fact that the music cut out the second I picked up the knife! Don't like that!

Princess I don't think you quite realize that there are more awkward starts to a relationship and I speak from a painful degree of experience.

Asked her how I can get her out of here and the flashbacks are returning TTnTT

VERY deliberately avoiding the bait that is that upper dialogue option.

Why is dismemberment always the answer with these two?

Was this an option last time??? Was this an option the whole time and I missed it because I took ages to realize I could scroll through the options menu??? FRICK.

"I'll make this quick" she says. I don't like the confidence in her tone or the ramifications of how that will affect my perception of her and the way she manifests next time.

Welp. It really was quick this time. At least there's that.

WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD ON. The Princess has been a prisoner this whole time. That's been one of her most defining, fundamental character traits. Is this chapter title implying that she wasn't as much of a prisoner as I thought?

New party member! Mr. The Narrator you should understand the struggles of being a disembodied voice. Improvise, adapt, overcome.

First thought on the Skeptic was that I didn't like him. He is now one of my absolute faves.

MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME! MIRROR TIME!

I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY YOU REFLECTIVE MANIAC.

I refused to take the blade and the Skeptic is digging in his heels about it. I don't like the revelation with Skeptic picking up the blade that Voices other than the Narrator are able to control my body.

I don't want to choose violence. I want to choose happy endings and love stories ;w; Guys. Guys please.

... Why is that one manacle empty?

The Hero is sweating bullets and wondering if the Princess is going to behead herself to get out of here and I'm dying laughing despite my nerves.

The Skeptic just called the Narrator pathetic, to which the Narrator basically said "WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER SAID I WASN'T." At least he's self-aware.

PC: Hey, who's that other chain for? Princess: Wouldn't you like to know, feather boy. Narrator: *deep, deep sigh*

Did a lot of beating around the bush talking about who has more reason to distrust the other. Pretty sure the only way out of this is to behead her, and I'm really curious about the empty shackle. Gonna check that out first and then cut her out myself.

Narrator's huffy about me examining the shackle. Buddy it's an inanimate object, and I'm pretty sure you're not very motivated to trap me using it like you always get with locking the door to the basement.

Skeptic just asked "And what? Is it going to lock the second we put our wrist into it?" and I have done a 180. That thing is definitely locking onto us if we put it on. Still gonna put it on because that's what the Contrarian would say to do if he was with us and I miss him.

Either way, even if my bad decisions result in us being chained up, we still have the blade. Beheading is still an option.

Oh goodie, the music cut out! That's a good sign!

NOOOOO IT'S THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY OWN ACTIONS

Dying at how the Princess's expression changes to one of mild disappointment.

Beheading is no longer an option :(

The Skeptic just pointed out that the chain is clearly special, and I'm hearing Kill Bill sirens and remembering that one time the Narrator said I was special during the Beast chapter.

*pops confetti popper* iiiiiit's DISMEMBERMENT TIIIIIME!

(Ran out of images to include in this. See y'all in the next one!)

#slay the princess #stp #sofie liveblogs stuff

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thedo0zyslider · 2 months

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Kisses And Holes - 2K Words

Oli has some work to do in Pix's hole, and it goes a little differently then expected.

A03 Link

Oli has a job to do in Pixlriff’s hole.

Not in that way though, that would be a weird thing to start off with. He has a job to do in an actual hole, the bloody big one Pixl is digging out for his project. That hole. Anyone else who thought otherwise needed to get their head out of the gutter, really!

The blonde hummed as he made his way over to his friends base, pickaxe being twirled in his hands idly. He had a vague idea of what he was being asked to do —which was dig—but other than that Oli hadn’t been given many directions. All Pixl had told him was to show up, preferably around noon, and then he would be put to work. It was the wink that had gotten Oli a little curious and excited about this whole ordeal. And just a little nervous as well. For all he knew, Pix had tricked him into mining twenty thousand blocks. Or something else that’s absolutely insane like that.

He gets there quicker than expected. And also without dying or taking much damage, something also unexpected. Oli didn’t have a track record for avoiding either, a few deaths under his belt and the man constantly finding some way to lose hearts. But it seems like today is his lucky day in that regard. The blonde reaches the hole totally unscathed, and circles the area a few times until he sees a familiar spot of blue standing somewhere inside the giant thing.

“Pixlriffs!” He calls out jovially, spotting the man a little ways off, standing in the shallower part of the pit. “My sweet boy!” The man turns his head back in surprise, and a big smile stretches across Oli’s face when their eyes meet; and Pix’s light up upon seeing him.

“Oli! Hello!” He calls back just as happily, watching as the bard makes his way to him; having to parkour on a few things to do so. The hole is a bit of a mess, a bunch of makeshift exists and uneven spaces being dug out, so traversing it is a bit of a hazard. But still, Oli manages to do it, and is standing in front of his friend just as quick as he’d arrived.

“I’m here as requested!” Oli says with a smile, twirling his pickaxe in the air a bit. He would throw it, but he’s not too sure he could catch it. And Oli would like to not die anymore, since Pix using a fate coin on him is what landed him this job in the first place. And he doesn’t want more hours of labor, even if Pix is good company. He has logs to sell and hogs to keep safe! Also, dying by pickaxe would be embarrassing, and he doesn’t even want to know what that chat message would look like.

“Ah, you’re here to pay me back? Like I requested?” Pix almost purrs the sentence out, and, surprisingly, reaches out to tilt the blonde's chin up just a tad. The blonde feels the way his breath hitches, and then Pix’s hand is gone before he can fully process it was there. Or before he can lean into, like he kinda wants to do. Only kinda though, not a lot. He totally doesn’t want to lean into it that much…

“Yep! That's what I'm here for!” Oli says, giving a quick salute. He briefly feels his cheeks heat up, and ignores it. There’s no time for blushing, not when he has work to do! Hours and hours of very important work to do! No time for all of that indeed…

“Good, good!” Pix says, his joyful tone from earlier returning, and the sultry one disappearing into nowhere just as quickly as it had appeared from nowhere. (Oli doesn't think he’s ever heard Pix sound like that before, and he can’t say he’s really against it…it’s quite nice on the ears, and makes him feel all fluttery inside, just a bit…) “I just want you to dig out a chunk, the one over there preferably.” The brunette hums, pointing at little ways off, at a part of the hole that had yet to be touched by many human hands. Expect Pix’s, when he’d needed to chop off the first handful of layers of course.

“I can do that in like, two hours tops!” Oli nods, looking at the area. A chunk sounds like a lot of space to dig out, and certainly looks like it too, but it can’t be too hard! Not with Oli and his master digging skills on the case, it can’t be that hard indeed.

Pix raises an eyebrow, and gives a rather disbelieving huff. Which is bloody rude of him, that is. “All the way to bedrock?” He asks, playfully nudging Oli in the side. The blonde promptly ignores the way his skin seems to burn at the contact.

“Of course!” He says, the confidence very loud in his voice and also very false. He’s pretty sure he can’t get all that done in two hours, maybe a half of it if he’s lucky. And also fast enough. But he’d said he could, he’d committed. And Oli was nothing if not committed to all his bits. And he means all of them.

“Okay then, whatever you say.” Pix sounds greatly amused at his enthusiasm, and maybe even laughs a little bit. “I'll check up on you in an hour or so?” He asks, giving Oli an encouraging clap on the back. And a strong clap too, bloody hell.

“That sounds alright!” Oli confirms with a nod, and Pix gives him another string clap on the back. Once again, he ignores how he blushes and becomes pink at even the slightest contact. The two of them exchange a few words of goodbyes, and then Oli is descending into his friend’s hole, pickaxe in hand and ready to pay Pix back sufficiently; however long that may take. He did have quite a bit to dig, after all.

An hour later, Pix goes to check on Oli. Maybe remove him from his hole while he’s at it, depending on how much of the chunk he’d mined out. Maybe make him stay a bit longer, if Pix feels like he hasn’t been properly paid back. Not that’d he really do that, more so joke about it to see what his friend’s reaction would be. Other than whine and complain. The whining and complaining was guaranteed, It was, rather endearingly, the blonde’s favorite thing to do.

When he gets there, the chunk is not halfway done. Like it should be if Oli could truly do this in two hours, since half of that time is up. Instead only about a third of it is gone, and there’s still clearly a long way down to go. Pix shakes his head at that, a smile gracing his lips despite himself, and he goes to find wherever this fool is digging.

His friend isn’t in eyesight, but there is a small hole leading down. And by small he means like, two by two blocks small. He assumes this must be Oli’s method of digging, whatever it is, and that his friend is maybe hopefully down there. So he cups his hands over his mouth, and hopes his poor miner boy hasn’t gone missing by the time he yells down.

“Oli?” Pix calls down, able to hear his voice echo off the cave’s walls. It takes a moment for his friend to answer back, but his voice is loud and booming once he does.

“Pix! Has it been an hour already!” The blonde calls back up, his voice similarly echoing off the walls. He sounds just as cheery as when he started, if not significantly more worn out. Which serves him right, for all that misplaced confidence earlier, Pix thinks playfully.

“It has!” Pix responds, glad he was right, and that the blonde hadn’t vanished into the vortex that was his base. He didn’t want to add another, more human grave, to his tool graveyard. “You can come up now! You’ve paid me back enough!” He decides the poor guy has done enough digging already, especially under the midday sun, and that this is enough to let him go. Even if it’s so much less than he claimed he could dig.

“Great!” Oli calls back, a speck of his blonde hair now coming within eyesight. Good, he’s not too far down then. “Can I have some help getting outta here!?” That sounds like a bit of whining, something Pixl was fully expecting, and he prepared himself for some silly rant about how horrible his hole was or whatever when the blonde made it back into the open air.

“Of course! I’ll make a staircase!” The brunette calls back, giggling at the whoop of triumph that comes up from the mine. Though, rather comically, as soon as he starts digging the temporary staircase down, his shoe slips on some loose pebble or something. And Pix is sent plummeting straight down into his own hole; landing straight on his rear. There’s a shrill, startled scream, no doubt from the other person stuck down here, and Pix soon finds himself standing up rather disordented, and surrounded but nothing by walls of gray and the occasionally splash of color that is the man in front of him.

Oli makes a startled yelp when he stands, their chests now pressed firmly against each other. Pix is pretty startled as well, and also decently bruised from the fall. But it comes out as a small noise in the back of his throat, the other half of his brain focused on how…close he and Oli now are. How their bodies are flushed right against each other….how close their faces have ended up. It’s an effort to draw his thoughts away from that, to not stare, and refocus himself. Which he does, after probably a few awkward seconds of nothing, most likely. Oli blinks back up at him, all wide eyed like a little owl, and he just can’t help but poke a bit of fun at him in the moment.

“Pretty close there, aren’t we?” Pix says, teasingly. He’s still flustered, sure, but there’s a laugh bubbling up in his chest. Of course they would get stuck in this position, by some number of mistakes and coincidences. Only the two of them could, really.

“It’s a two by two space.” Oli mutters, all the usual spunk gone from his voice. It’s been replaced by something softer, something more embarrassed. One might even call him… flustered by their proximity. Pix feels himself go a little wide-eyed at the realization, and quickly tries to focus on something else; as a distraction. So at least one of them is composed enough to dig them out of here.

He fumbles with his hands for a moment, unsure of what to do with them. Naturally, there’s not a lot of wiggle room down here, leaving them in an uncomfortable position and not a lot of better options. Though, after a few seconds, he ended up placing them gently on Oli’s hips, not seeing a much better option than that. Even if it made their position a lot more…… intimate than it had already been before.

“Really? My hips?” Oli snorts, amused. And also blushing more, pretty noticeably too. Pix tries his hardest not to think about how cute that is, as he has been doing all day.

“It’s either that or I pin you to the wall.” Pix says, a small smirk forming on his face as he speaks. This is an awful predicament to tease the blonde in, but he really can’t help himself today. “Unless you're into that-”

Oli cuts him off with a shriek, one loud enough for anybody above ground to hear. “PIX!” His face looks like a tomato, that’s how red it is. The man is blushing so hard he’s gone and turned into a fruit. A pretty cute fruit, if you ask Pixl anyways.

The brunette can’t help the small laughing fit that hits him, all set off by the smallest of giggles bubbling past his lips. He laughs, again and again, until he’s giggling so hard he has to lean down and press their foreheads together. Oli stares up at him the whole time, seemingly mesmerized, all the way until Pix stops giggling. And when the brunette opens his eyes again, he’s met with starstruck hazel eyes and flushed cheeks, a sight that makes him feel starstruck right in return.

“You’re quite pretty, you know that?” Oli mutters, moving their faces a bit closer despite his embarrassment. His gaze is also not so discreetly flicking downwards, at a certain man’s lips. It’s getting very distracting, that's for sure, and putting a lot of thoughts in that certain someone’s head. Thoughts that you probably shouldn’t be thinking when stuck in a hole with your close friend who you’re maybe also a little into.

Pix feels himself go a little breathless at that, and a red flush starts to coat his own cheeks. “Thanks.” He mumbles, quiet, not needing to be any louder. They were now far too close for that, after all. There’s some sort of delicate peace settling over the two men as well, something warm and familiar, and he doesn’t particularly want to shatter it.

Oli presses bumps their noses together, hazel eyes meeting blue ones in quite the romantic moment, if Pix says so himself. “Are we about to kiss?” The blonde mutters, sounding a little cheeky when he does. A little proud of himself too. Pix wants to wipe that slightly smug look off his face, and can think of many ways to do it at the moment, in the position they're currently stuck in.

“If you want too..” He says, feeling a fond smile dance across his lips. Pix knows he wants to kiss Oli, has for some time now. And yet, despite all his friend’s blushing, is not sure if the feeling is mutual. Though he’s in luck today it seems, because Oli smiles back something warm, and the brunette thinks his heart melts instantly upon the sight of it, right then and there in the terrible two by two hole they're stuck in.

“Mm, good, because I do.” Oli mumbles, and then he’s hesitantly leaning forward the rest of the way. Pix decides to meet him in the middle best he can. Their lips crash together rather eagerly, and he tightens his grip on the blonde’s waist. In some attempt to move him closer, if that’s even possible anymore, of it every part of them that can be touching already is.

Pix hums into the kiss he's given, Oli’s hand cupping his cheek gently. It’s a pretty nice kiss by all standards, and especially by his own. The kiss tastes pleasantly sweet, like strawberries and sugary sakura. It’s what Pix imagines the color pink itself would taste like, if colors could be tasted. Which is fitting, since the man he’s kissing is dressed from head to toe in a light shade of the color, and built everything with it too.

When they pull away, the both of them are a little breathless. Oli looks up at him, incredibly fond as he catches his breath. A fond smile is undoubtedly stretched across his face, and he softly thumbs the brunette’s cheek. Pixl feels himself flush, and knows the look on his face is reflecting the same amount of fondness.

“So, how are we gonna get out of here?” He asks, leaning into the other’s hand. He barely resists the urge to twist his head, and place a delicate kiss on Oli’s palm. But he resists, mostly because he likes being held this way. Though he figures after today, there will be plenty of time to do that.

“I dunno…” Oli hums, feigning thoughtfulness for only a few seconds. He gets straight to what he wants pretty quickly, not being shy about it anymore. Though he’s still blushing like he is, and looking all cute while doing it. “….Do you wanna do that, or kiss me again?”

Pix also fakes thoughtfulness for a second, and hums as if considering his options. Even though he’d have to be insane to turn down that offer, and he’s pretty sure the blonde knows that as well. “I think I’ll be taking the second kiss.”

“Good choice.” Oli puffs, then goes to kiss him again. Pix smiles into it once more, no longer caring that they’re cramped in his hole together. Not when the man in front of him is this wonderful and pretty, and when the kisses he gives taste so sweet. The sweetest he thinks he’s ever had.

#ron.writing #ron.fic #olipix #oli theorionsound #pixlriffs #sos smp #mc sos #mcsos #i heart gay people #sos shipping

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razzberrydazz · 7 months

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Me, realizing one of the many reasons I like Shadowheart and Astarion so much is because they read as having BPD to me, because I am a person with BPD and I project myself the hardest on characters I see myself in. It's MY comfort characters and I'll project on them however much I want 🤡😈

So I broke down the base criteria of BPD symptoms (you only need to tick 5 of the 9 criteria to be able to be diagnosed with BPD) and how both Shadowheart and Astarion can be interpreted as having and expressing the various behavioral criteria.

The main criteria: Fear of Abandonment, Self-Harm and/or Suicidal Thoughts, Chronic feelings of Emptiness and Dissociation, Unstable Self-image and sense of identity, history of unstable relationships, impulsive and self-sabotaging behavior, mood swings, extreme anger, Paranoia and disconnect from reality. It's not explicitly a criteria, but it's incredibly common if not a prerequisite that people with BPD have prolonged past trauma that caused them to have these maladaptive behaviors.

Both Astarion and Shadowheart have the traumatized unstable past to explain their behaviors (Shadowheart DEFINITELY has SEVERE childhood trauma since she got kidnapped and forced into a horribly abusive and manipulative cult, while Astarion has the trauma from Cazador's centuries of abuse and manipulation)

Both of them have SEVERE trust issues (Shadowheart from being in a cult as well as her attempts to pit Tav against Lae'Zel because she's distrustful of her {she has good reason to be when she's carrying a Gith artifact, as well as the Githyanki's long history of brutality and oppressive regimes}, Astarion from being so severely abused by Cazador despite his attempts to please the vampire lord, both of them can latch onto Tav and trust Tav entirely too Much once they're shown a shred of decency)

Both have Extreme fear of abandonment that they deal with in different ways (Shadowheart avoids abandonment by generally pushing people away and keeping them at arm's length so she can't grow attached especially if she stays Sharran, then latches onto the player far more than she should if no longer Sharran because Tav is her last tether of trust and warmth; Astarion avoids abandonment by trying to seduce you and get in your good graces as quickly as possible)

Both have unstable self-image and identity (Astarion doesn't even remember his own face before turning into a vampire, Shadowheart has to double down and recite the Sharran dogma to herself near constantly because she is unsure of her faith and by act 2/3 has QUITE an existential crisis on her relationship with Shar and Selune and cuts her bangs and even dyes her hair if no longer Sharran)

Both have a history of unstable relationships (Shadowheart can't even remember most of her possible past relationships due to the memory wipes, the main relationship she does remember is that of her with her cruel capricious goddess Shar, and if you go Selune route in Shadowheart's personal quest she will latch onto Tav and ask them to be with her forever with the clear implication that she's afraid Tav will leave her; Astarion hadn't been able to maintain a single good relationship in his entire time under Cazador because he had to lure his lovers to his master)

Both have impulsive and self-sabotaging behaviors ESPECIALLY Astarion imo (Astarion's perceived initial hypersexuality and inability to say no to sexual intimacy for most of the game, his want to do the ritual which overall has a far worse outcome for himself and others, his attempt to feed from Tav without their consent and possibly kill them in the process, his approval and encouragement of evil actions that reinforce that Tav is not trustworthy; Shadowheart's attempt to kill Lae'Zel by holding a dagger to her throat while she slept was definitely an impulsive act, and if she throws away the spear of night in act 2 that was Definitely done by impulse and not of active thought, and her cutting and dying her hair was most definitely done on impulse imo)

Both appear to have chronic feelings of emptiness and dissociation (Astarion largely because of the chronic vampiric gnawing hunger as well as him appearing to dissociate during some sex scenes, Shadowheart feeling emptiness largely due to the loss of her memory and mind as well as her dissociating via prayer because Sharrans try to empty themselves of all emotion to feel the emptiness and loss that Shar upholds)

Both of them have appear to have varying anger issues (not as much as other characters at times, as both Karlach and Lae'Zel DEFINITELY have worse anger issues at first glance if you ask me) and different ways they deal with it (Astarion is quite murder happy about it, such as when he can kill the Gur bounty hunter without caring for Tav's input, and Shadowheart's anger and resentment towards Lae'Zel and Selunites causes her to verbally lash out at any mention of Selune while at one point physically threatening Lae'Zel with her dagger and possibly killing her if Tav doesn't intervene or eggs her on, though I think most of Shadowheart's anger is turned inward and turned into her mentally anguishing that she's not a good enough devotee to her goddess)

Both have Extreme paranoia and suspicion of others (Shadowheart is distrustful of others by default and is especially paranoid about Lae'Zel due to her being Gith, Astarion is paranoid of being taken back to Cazador and holds Tav at knifepoint at first accusing them of being the one that kidnapped him before Tav assuages his fears)

Of the BPD criteria, I'd say outright Self-Harm and Suicidal Ideation shows up in both Shart and Astarion the Least (Gale has EVERYONE beat in the suicidality department); they both most definitely want to live, though they both still do Self-Harm usually through their self-sabotaging actions. I wouldn't count Shadowheart's stigmata hand wound as Self-Harm since it was Shar that inflicted that on her and not Shadowheart inflicting it on herself. If anything, it could be argued that Shadowheart purposely doing things she knows Shar would dislike in order to activate the wound is some form of self harm possibly? Shar is her abuser so I still am firm that her wound is not Shadowheart harming herself even if she knowingly does things to activate it because it is the fault of her abuser for hurting her.

As for extreme mood swings, often times those can be pretty well concealed and be mostly internal instead of external if someone is good enough at masking their emotions. Of the party members, Shadowheart and Astarion and Gale mask their emotions the most. Karlach has pretty outward mood swings, she's very expressive, while both Shadowheart and Astarion (and Gale) are typically pretty withdrawn and wear a mask of false smiles. Shadowheart definitely seems to be chronically depressed or otherwise ruminating and not having a good time mentally. If she has mood swings they are likely turned inwards and not outwards. She does have outbursts of anger and panic indicative of rapid mood swings at times, however. Astarion's dramatic catty antics could be read as mood swings judging how he reacts to Tav's various actions. Both he and Shart are very catty.

Overall, both Shadowheart and Astarion can be read as having enough matching behaviors to the BPD criteria for me to confidently say they're coded to have BPD, even if it's not explicitly stated as such.

Sidenote, sometimes people with BPD can experience minor hallucinations especially auditory hallucinations, and Shadowheart most Definitely had auditory hallucinations of Shar judging and shaming her if you ask me. It could have actually been Shar in her head yes, but it could also just as easily have been Shadowheart's own mind tormenting her.

BPD can also possibly predispose people towards Psychosis, black and white thinking, and delusions, though it's not a definite. Astarion's obsession with completing the ritual insisting it will protect him for good could be seen as a possible delusion of grandeur. Shadowheart definitely has black-and-white dogmatic thinking while under Shar's thumb. They need so much healing.

All of this is my interpretation to support my headcanons of course, these also enable my shameless projecting on these two catty characters. I'm a borderline bitch and if I can't get a stable personality myself, store bought is fine!

A lot of stuff is speculative and that's fine with me.

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rae-raewrites · 10 months

Note

Hi! First off I love you're writing your very talented! And second how do you think the riddlers would react to finding out they have a teenage daughter they never knew about (how inherited there smarts and sass)and something happened to the mom so they have nowhere to go so they track him down.

Oh geez it’s dad angst time😂 this is just a bunch of boys dealing with the younger versions of themselves. Also sorry this took so long anon!

The riddlers finding out they have a teenage daughter

Warning:mentions of death

Arkham

It was out of pure annoyance when he actually answers the phone after 13 missed calls from Jonathan crane.

So when Jon casually invites him over saying he needs talk to him he’s even more miffed. And then he finds this kid having tea with the dr, who the hell was she-?

“Ah Edward so nice of you to join us,this wonderful young lady has been trying to find some way to reach you.”

The her in question was a rather well put together 16 year old girl who was like a mirror of his younger years. She certainly had his eyes. Eleanor,her name was Eleanor

He’s not stupid and he puts two together quite easily.

Mom gone to cancer,the youngster was left in Gotham to survive on her own with only the understanding that he was her father. Her mother had apparently kept his tie from the fateful evening.

Apart of him him tells himself to just not bother with her,the other stronger side tells him not to be his father

Things are tense at first with moving in. He’s never really shared a space before with anyone so he’s avoidant at first. Not thinking she’s going to be much help with his projects

He is completely surprised when he finds out she knows her way around electronics

But then he realizes the kid has his photographic memory. And his sass……

“When was the last time you took a shower?” “Please explain to me a how a shower will improve any of my plans.” “Simple: you’ll stop me from dying from gross sewer dad smell.”

It irritates the hell out of him but when she start’s jabbing at the other rouges he’s a proud man.

They bond over getting work done,so much time lost yet there making up for it real quick

She created a rather wacky Rubik’s cube that left Batman puzzled for at least two days

Of course he got a kick out of taunting the dork knight while also genuinely being proud of his daughter

It’s hard to get used to hearing the word “dad” in relation to him but it’s a title he “humbly” accepts in the end

BTAS

He received a knock on his door one extremely sunny morning

Gina found him after his “reformation” and partnership with wacko toys was announced to the public. It wasn’t hard tracking down a man in the spotlight

Edward is of course absolutely stunned by the realization.

To his understanding the girl from metropolis knew the basics of his criminal career. The off traps and puzzles were something well known outside of the city.

He feels out of obligation to take her in,I mean he’s a villain but not a monster. Kid gets say down with some hot coco

Of course when he is brought back to Arkham the poor kid is quick to go and visit him and calm him down as well as work on a way to get him out

He’s rather surprised when he get broken out by jervis and Jonathan and they have him a letter from his prodigy with little xoxo’s and detailed escape plans

When he does get home he pretty much is dead set on teaching her everything he possibly can,how he got the virtual reality set up to work,his more simple traps

Of course just like her dear old dad she’s quick to design some of her own.

“A nothing machine that actually does something……. Out of the box but I adore the ingenuity.” “At least it’s more safe than the vr incident”

BTAA

It was another day of Eddie not being able to figure something out using the box method,unfortunately sticking two nuclear bombs and a tricycle and an old Macintosh in the box just wasn’t cutting it that day.

Cue Tuesday getting a phone call from Miss autumn at the behest of scarecrow

“Hey Eddie do you have any kids you forgot to tell me about?? “No….why?” “Oh geez”

He’s basically the surprised pikachu face meme when he meets Tina,kid was smart enough to get the drug king pin of Gotham to listen to her.

She looks so much like him!!

Of course he’s still skeptical! I mean any kid can just say there his! (But still!)

That completely disappears when the kid creates her own gizmos that rival her fathers

Of course rivaling his intellect means also rivaling his ability sass and make fun of everyone else

“A toaster with a tv screen?” “I know,I know not my best work.” “Well duh coulda thrown it in Gotham harbor and it would be more useful.”

Of course him and her quickly put their collective mind brains together and craft some rather complex new plans

Tuesday is totally chill with her around especially considering she’s able to chill him out when he’s suffering from writers block

Really Edward just got another child on top of already having miss Tuesday. He loves his two daughters from their two different origins

Zero year

Moira visited his cell at Arkham shortly after his defeat at zero year

He was already not in the mood for visitors until the determined teen calls him an idiot in a lime colored pimp suit

Hey! He doesn’t need some red headed brat coming in to his cell like she owns the place!

Oh wait…….

Let’s just say that he smartens up real quick to what’s going on.

Initially wants to tell the kid to bug off,he’s got a criminal career to succeed in but she’s quick to point out he doesn’t have anything right now

So they come to an agreement: get him outta there and he’ll maybe let her crash with him for awhile

So color him surprised when she gets him out safe with minimal bruising

Hell she’s pretty damm smart he has to admit,she certainly didn’t get it from her mother

He does ask eventually what became of his ex,a car crash left the poor kid with barely much. He was kinda her best and only option go figure

He’s snarky with the kid for awhile,of course she’s very quick to throw it right back at him

But they quickly start to getting together quite well especially when they DO get into a fight and quickly realize how stupid it was to begin with

I mean c’mon,kid could probably rule Gotham in less than a week. She’s not someone he wants to scorn

She’s a pretty smart kid he guesses (he totally loves her he’s just got an ego)

#batman #x reader #batman rouges #headcanon #the riddler #arkhamverse #asks #arkham riddler #batman arkham series #batman the audio adventures #batman the animated series #zero year riddler

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tvbbosdarling · 4 months

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Caregiver Dazai hcs

Warnings: None! (Surprising considering its Dazai right?)

Notes: I ACCIDENTLY POSTED THIS WHEN I HADN'T FINISHED IT YET :( anyway, I don't understand bsd characterization yet.. So if Dazai seems reallyy ooc I'm sorry :[ This is centered around reader or you~ But if you want him for actual characters feel free to send an ask and request :D

- Dazai is a very excited caregiver, he likes taking care of you and he isn't afraid to show it! He's very affectionate- Hand holding, kissing your forehead, holding you close. Lots of hugs!! And I mean lots.

- But Dazai is also secretly, very overprotective. He keeps you safe in ways you wouldn't notice unless you looked closely, but you are much too small for that !! So let Dazai cuddle you instead of walking near that alleyway- "Oh- Nope! No going over there~ It's cuddle time!!"

- Speaking of him being secretly overprotective, he's so silly that you won't notice him glaring at anybody who comes a bit too close for his liking!! If he even hears of port mafia members walking near the place you two are headed (because he obviously can sense Chuuya coming a mile away) he will switch walking routes instead of doing his thing where he purposefully walks down that road.

- He will probably baby you even when you're big, which means it's impossible to ignore your regression with him.. And you better not try. You're too busy? Not anymore!! You wanna focus on a project? Uh.. Nope!~ You can't regress? That's alright! Just let him wrap you in a blanket, give you a paci and watch your favorite cartoons together.

- Dazai uses you as an excuse alot to get out of doing paperwork- Kunikida is yelling at him and Dazai is just pouting, "My baby needs me! I can't stay here when my precious baby needs help-" and the thing you need help with is changing your cartoons, somehow it takes three hours before Dazai comes back to do paperwork.. But oh! Atsushi finished it already sooo-

- Dazai coos at you. Constantly. 24/7. You will literally breathe and Dazai is dying from how adorable you are, People know to avoid the room where you can hear the high pitched- "Awh you are such a cutie!!!- oh you need help? Ofcourse- AWHHH~~~"

- In the agency, no one cares you regress. However.. Kunikida IS TIRED OF DAZAI AVOIDING HIS PAPERWORK. So after a bit, they build you a little area near Dazai's desk where you can play.. Now he can't LEAVE. BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE- *Ahem.* anyway.

- But!. If you don't want others to know you age regress, or more specifically the agency- Then Dazai will keep it a secret! He's good at excuses, and very good at knowing when you are regressed or slightly drifting near your headspace. So if you guys are in a important meeting but you're starting to regress, Dazai literally does not care. Man will just pick you up and go "Okay cool, we are gonna leave now :D" just up and leaves with you in his arms.

- Dazai doesn't seem like much of a cook, and he isn't, but he can make the basics. You know those mom's who cut their children's lunch into shapes? Dazai does that. If you are older when regressed, he will make your food into funny shapes and HE LOVES IT. You caused him to start following millions of mom's just so he can keep getting new shapes and ideas.

- Dazai is SO into doing funny voices when you two play together, just hand him a stuffie you want him to play and he's already going into a voice and acting out things.. No matter how dramatic. And no, he isn't embarrassed about getting caught. He'll just drag whoever caught you two into it, so congrats! You'll have another playing buddy!

- If you prefer coloring, he's happy to color right with you! He started using the agency's printer to print out coloring sheets for you, (It also gets on Kunikida's nerves, I mean he loves you too! Thinks you are adorable, but seriously- please Dazai the printer is for agency matters-) and will happily buy you whatever materials you need.. Including finger paint. He's so supportive when you're messy. "All the great artists have caused messes!!" He reassures you.

- But if you are a smaller regressor, or maybe a more calm/sleepy one, he's good at being just quiet enough but still excited enough. If you are tired, he'll carry you. It's comforting to have you rest your head against his chest while he walks around, it's nice to know you are close.

- It's even cuter if when tired, you talk or do sleepy babbles because Dazai literally just nods quietly and goes "Mhmm... Oh really? Wow!" He's trying to stay as quiet as he can, but internally he's cooing :( look at his sweet baby, so sleepy.

- Dazai loves being called 'Dada', I mean, he loves whatever his baby will call him but dada makes him feel all warm inside because yes!!! He is your dada!! It makes him feel even more happy about being able to take care of you.

- Calls you 'His little star' or the most common 'his baby', Usually adds 'his' instead of just baby. A bit possessive, but he adores you too much for someone else to take care of you. "My little star, how about we cuddle and go to sleep together hm? Dada is so tiredd~"

#bungou stray dogs #age regression #bungo stray dogs agere #Bungo stray dogs age regression #bsd agere #bsd age regression #Caregiver!dazai #cg!dazai #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #x reader

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bonbonshideout · 4 months

Text

Omori headcanons & playlists

Sunny

♤ He got his therapy

♡ He's a bit on the mute side but is much more expressive. Normally, he writes things down to communicate with his friends.

◇ He confessed to Aubrey but also felt he wasn't emotionally prepared for a relationship. He mostly just wanted to get his feelings out there.

♧ He's the observation type. He can notice the smallest of change in someone's character.

♤ He avoids watermelons.

♡ He still sees Mari. Though not in a negative fashion, usually she appears when he's struggling with something, maybe developed a new fear, and she's there to guide him through overcoming it.

◇ His style is usually very bland, normally consisting of black & white and some purple; Aubrey and Kel took him shopping (mainly Aubrey, Kel just tagged along) and bought him more stylish clothing in black & white, while shopping he would wander off and found some things he figured Mari would like, he'd buy them and have them with him (i.e. Keychain, sweater, pen, accessories, etc.)

Kel

♤ Hispanic, probably Guatemalan

♡ He dyed his hair orange. It's a 50/50 type; he wears some of his hair into a ponytail, like a half up half down type look.

◇ His life mission is to annoy the living daylights out of Aubrey.

♧ Kel wanted to adopt Sunny into his family.

Kel goes and visits Sunny

Sunny made the mistake to leave his home

Kel drags Sunny to his house and runs to his mom: "MAMA! Sunny is out! can we keep him!?"

Kel's mom: "ay mijo, that's not—"

Kel: "Please, Mama! I'll clean my room for a week!"

Kel's mom: "I- you should be cleaning your room regardless!"

Kel groans: "Ay mama...."

Aubrey

♤ Though she dyed her hair canonically, it's grown out, and she's had to cut it, so it's a 50/50, she's been wanting to dye it again but she keeps putting it off as well.

╰ Berly convinced her to shave half her head, Aubrey actually grew to like it and now does it herself if it starts to grow back.

♡ When Sunny confessed to her, she was a bit conflicted, though she still likes him she too didn't think she was really ready for a relationship.

◇ She's headspace Aubrey when it comes to Kel. Don't get her wrong. She loves Kel (platonically), but he can annoy her most of the time. She's sarcastic when it comes to talking to him.

♧ She's a tough one, but she still has a soft side. She's weak when it comes to plush toys, bows, and frills. She doesn't like to admit it when around everyone, especially Kel.

Hero

♤ Hispanic, probably Guatemalan

♡ He wears glasses! GLASSES! they're not anything special. They're simple glasses, but he's had them since high school.

◇ He and Kel come from a safe home. However, he has picked up a fatherly like personality. He sees Sunny as another little brother and does his best to be there for him no matter what.

Basil

♤ Basil is a teal as it is in headspace.

╰ He didn't do a full dye or halfway, his are more-or-less the tips of his hair.

♡ He works at a flower shop and does photography on the side, he gets some pretty good money for both.

◇ He may not look it, but he likes making things, beginner science related projects that he finds online, his favorite? A flower that he likes the most, a petal that represents each of his friends.

Mari

♤ she watches over everyone & visits them in their dreams.

♡ She appears to each of them in the corner of their eyes whenever they are struggling.

Everyone

♤ They all wear something purple; a necklace, flower, earning, bracelet, etc. Mari's favorite color was purple, so in her memory, they have some purple accessory, if not a piece of clothing.

♡ They go to their hangout spot and have picnics. Basil usually takes pictures, putting them in their photo album.

◇ Aubrey made bracelets for everyone, including everyone's colors.

• orange - Kel

• teal - Basil

• white - Sunny

• blue - Hero

• purple - Mari

• pink - Aubrey

♧ They tell stories of when they were younger, usually to reminisce on their happier moments as well as keep the memory of Mari alive.

#omori #omori headcanons #omori aubrey #omori kel #omori basil #omori hero #omori sunny #omori mari #headcanons #bonbonshideout

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blackplaaague · 6 days

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Heyo. I have read the rewritten chapter 1. 10/10 as always. The dialogue really brings some more life and perspective to the story,and the time where will let clara rest on his shoulder was cute no matter how brief it was. Although to be honest,reading these three chapters kinda brought me down,like for a moment i felt the misery that the aftons felt,i understand why these few chapters put a toll on you. Clara is suffering,she needs therapy or the very least a normal day for at least one time,she needs to go on vacation. Michael is basically dying inside and his stereotypical angry teen behavior died down to something worse (also i was surprised to discover that he's only a middle schooler. i thought he was 17 or 16 lol). William seems to be the only one that is remotely normal/happy in this chapter due to him having a cathartic project. Elizabeth is elizabeth,suffering but behind a fake smile just like her mother. I want this family to have therapy so bad,they desperately need help.

First of all, thank you so much for your feedback! :D

Sorry it’s been so sad lately… this is an emotionally-heavy story, and though it’s supposed to be hurt/comfort, the comfort hasn’t quite kicked in. I hope it’s not too depressing… I don’t want my readers to actually be super sad after a chapter, even if fic authors do joke a lot about trying to make readers cry. I do have some other fanfics set in the same AU which are a lot happier, I’ve just only posted For Clara so far.

I will say this story is cathartic for me, I’m more afraid people won’t like my interpretations of the characters and their grief, because it stems from my own, a lot of the time. Writing For Clara has actually helped my mental health, because instead of letting heavy feelings stay in my brain, I’m taking them out of there and exploring them through fictional characters, which is pretty healthy, I’d think.

About Clara: I think you might be happy to learn that there is a sequel to this fic by the name of Afton Family Road Trip. She will get her vacation, I promise! No one even dies! (It’s unironically my favorite fic I’ve ever written, and I can’t wait to release it!)

About Michael: I chose to make him a middle schooler because I feel like an older teen would probably have the common sense to avoid sticking his brother into an animatronic. I don’t think he wanted his brother to die, I think he just wanted to scare him, and it felt like the sort of person most likely to do something like that as a joke would be an eighth grader. (Plus, there’s some stuff later that only works if he doesn’t know how to drive, so he has to be a little younger.)

I think he’s 14 years old as of For Clara. His birthday fell in September, but unfortunately, it was super close to the whole Bite of 83 thing… so basically no one acknowledged it.

About William: would you be interested in an installment that explains what he’s doing before he comes up with that immortal-wife plan? I have a prequel being set up… It wasn’t a one-off bit, it was actually the reason I added more to chapter one.

About Elizabeth: She’s just like me for real. That is all.

I think I’ve actually made the Aftons a lot like myself, or at least, myself in different life stages. When I was younger, I was a lot like Elizabeth, and most of her POV chapters are based off stuff I actually said and did when I was 9. A few years ago, I was definitely more like Michael. I had my first times dealing with grief when I was 12-14, and I had no idea how to feel about death. He reminds me a lot of my angsty younger self. William is a lot like me now. (I don’t mean that in a murder way, of course!) He spends most of his time coming up with all sorts of projects to avoid what scares him, and he keeps accidentally isolating himself from people who want to help. Clara is who I’m afraid of becoming. She’s afraid of speaking up for herself and forces herself into a mold she thinks will make other people happy.

Sorry to rant! I’m just glad you think my writing is good :)

#bp rambles #fanfic #WBWWC #Friends!

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inkandgeese · 7 months

Text

--Writeblr Intro--

Hey there!! I'm Ash (she/her)! I'm a first year architecture student who has always loved writing so I thought i'd join the writing community here!

Some things about me and my writing:

- Because of school, I definitely won't be super consistent with posting! However, I will always come back eventually, I promise

- Most of my stories are fantasy as I just LOVE the idea of magic

- I absolutely adore god awful protagonists. give me main characters that are terrible people, i beg you

- I write for fun!! Because of this, most of my stories aren't super far along in the process as i love to jump around in them

Under the cut will be some short WIP intros!!

Jaded Ashes - a low fantasy/ magical realism novel

Status: Drafting (my current nanowrimo project)

As a senior in high school, Jade wants to leave her small town more than anything. Years of feeling left out and abandoned have left her with nothing but resentment towards this town. However, after picking up a mysterious lighter, Jade starts to see dark creatures that feed off of the negative emotions of the people living there. After one saves her, Jade makes a simple deal with it: It will protect her from any possible harm, and she will help it destroy others of its kind. Working with Elliot, a boy from her school that Jade always tried to avoid, she starts to destroy these creatures little by little. The more time goes on, though, the more Jade can't help but wonder- would it be better to just burn everything down and start again?

- The best way of describing this story is that it is about two incredibly lonely people who desperately want to be seen for who they truly are

- While there ARE magical elements in this story, they almost aren't the focus. The focus is very much on Jade and her mental state. The magical elements are mostly there as a way to express those things in a different way

- This story in general deals a lot with mental illness! It has a very depressed and self destructive main character who does not appreciate it when others tell her what to do

Manic - an adult fantasy novel

current status: brainstorming/revamping

This story is currently undergoing a HUGE revamp, so I unfortunately won't be able to say much but i KNOW i am going to mention mira many many times so i thought i'd at least introduce it!

Mira, a knight, wants more than anything to be a hero. Something that is untouchable by time and remembered forever. However, after being attacked by a monster, Mira realizes a terrible, terrible thing: she herself is being turned into a monster as well. Infected with no chance of a cure, Mira knows what she will do anything to keep herself from dying, even if that includes sacrificing the entire world.

- This is planned to be a trilogy

- A HUGE part of this series is the idea of what makes somebody human and where that line is drawn between human and monster

Some other WIPS:

Bella and Iris

- This is another fantasy novel. In a world in which most gain their magic from plants, two characters gain their magic from death, either from killing or by drawing it from the dead. Without meaning to, Bella and Iris get pulled into a plot between gods that they had never wanted to be involved with in the first place.

Ophelia

- A lighthearted fantasy novella consisting of short vignettes following Ophelia in her small cabin throughout the winter. She meets plenty of mythical creatures in the forest that bring far more problems than help.

#writeblr #writeblr intro #my writing

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male-reader-haven · 11 months

Text

~That Horrible, Wonderful Feeling~

Author note:

Here is chapter 1 of the project I've been working so long on!! I'm super passionate about this storyline, so I'm hoping you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. As of right now, I have about 4 chapters completed, and depending on how well this is received I plan on posting them as well. Enjoy your Namjoon crumbs, there is SO much more to come!

Chapter 1: Ideal Woman

Namjoon's POV as he deals with prying reporters, stalkers, and some unwarranted feelings that send him spiraling. How can he claim to know and protect his fellow members if he doesn't even know himself? Y/N, one of 8 members of the worldwide popular K-pop boyband BTS, slowly helps Namjoon along in his journey of self-discovery and acceptance, dealing with his own feelings along the way.

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x male idol Y/N

TW: Stalking, internalized homophobia, heavier topics, invasion of privacy, slight NSFW, 18+

Word count: 2801

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“Now, RM, the fans are dying to know. What are your ideal traits in a girl?” The interviewer smiled and held out the microphone towards Namjoon expectantly. The camera pans over to his face and he forces a smile and glances down.

What a stupid fucking question.

He is so tired of being asked the same questions. Although he knew it was bound to happen due to BTS being worldwide famous idols, still, indulging reporters and tabloids who are constantly hungry for new content and scandals to feed their prying gossipers is so exhausting.

“Ah, well, you know, we all are focusing on our career and don’t have time for anything like that.” He avoids the question, hoping the reporter will drop it. She doesn’t catch on. She has a smile that is too wide and obviously faked. Honestly, Namjoon is pretty sure this american interviewer doesn’t even really know BTS too well or even listen to their music.

“Come on, everyone has a type. ARMY wants to know what kind of woman is RM’s type?”

As if you can speak for ARMY.

“Why do you care?” Namjoon snaps. He surprises himself with his response and immediately follows it up. “I-I mean, it doesn’t really matter. As long as they love and accept me, I guess.” He saves it the best he can. The interviewer stares him down.

“Awe, how sweet. Well before you go Namjoon, we just gotta know! There have been rumors going around that you secretly have a girlfriend! Is it true? Should we be expecting an announcement soon?” As she speaks, pictures flash across the screen of Namjoon caught in the street taking pictures with a fan. Namjoon feels frustration bubble up, not only at the accusation but at the lack of privacy and how the tabloids must have been following him around taking pictures.

“Wow. Really? Shameless.” He loses his patience. “I don’t appreciate being followed and stalked everywhere I go, you know. She is a fan and we took a picture. Sorry I couldn't satisfy your gossip.” He can’t stop himself. “Do you guys really get paid for this? Pushing this scummy, heteronormative agenda on celebrities hoping for a sliver of drama just so you can get a few clicks in by exaggerating and lying? We are people too, just like you. Normal people. So no, you don't get to make assumptions about me or pry into my life.”

“Heteronormative? Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” The woman interjects. Namjoon is fuming.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Namjoon gets up and storms away from the lit up booth and over to his staff, who briskly apologize to the interviewer and team and take him back to the studio.

Namjoon knows he went too far. Luckily his agent made sure that the interview would be scrapped and not published, but that is now an entire news group that BigHit won’t ever get an interview with again. Honestly they didn’t need the extra publicity, since at this point any company would be more than ecstatic to host an interview from BTS, but this was supposed to be a series of solo interviews from each of the artists, which would have no doubt been popular. Still, he didn't feel bad. Too many times have people asked BTS questions about their private lives and tried exposing them with false accusations and start scandals, none of which ever stick due to ARMY being so protective of them, but it took a toll on their mental health sometimes. Namjoon sinks into the back seat of the car as he looks out the window, listening to the patter of rain on the roof and watching the street lights reflect off the dripping window.

My ideal woman, huh?

He reflects. Everywhere he goes where people ask him these questions, they always say “ideal girl” or “woman,” always assuming he is straight. I mean, he IS straight, but it bothers him nonetheless. It’s not like anyone bothers to ask, they always just assume. He knows that people just want to hear him talk about specific traits and types to fulfill people’s fantasies. It seems people also assume that all ARMYs are straight fangirls. It’s 2023, how are people still pushing heteronormative standards? He takes out his phone to see new messages in the BTS group chat.

WWH: How’d the interview go?

Namjoon sighed and typed out his response.

Me: Horribly. Pretty sure I ruined it for all of us, sorry guys. JK: How so? Me: I lost it and kind of snapped V: Dang, sounds like they deserved it then. No worries man, probably for the best Me: Stupid private questions. I got too pissed though, it is my fault, but still Y/N: Ew, don’t they have anything better to do? Jimin: Fr. Don’t feel bad, I would have been short tempered too J-hope: Does this mean we have a free weeknd? WWH: Nice spelling J-hope: thx dad JK: Hell yeah, let's do a movie night! (read by SUGA, WWH, J-hope, and 4 others)

Namjoon puts his phone away and looks out the window again.

“Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?”

The woman’s words echo in his head longer than he would have liked. Namjoon has always liked women, that he is certain of. Ever since he was little he had crushes on disney princesses and actresses all the time. He had his fair share in heartbreaks and girlfriends in school too. Ever since becoming an idol, however, everything relating to romance seems to have left his life and been put in the back of his mind. He knows it's because they are idols that they aren't allowed to publicly date. That isn’t to say however that he didn't fantasize about having a partner or being in a romantic relationship. Despite BTS being his family and never truly being alone, he couldn’t help feeling lonely in some ways. These days, Namjoon finds himself stuck in his room working even in his free time. Maybe this weekend becoming suddenly free would be a blessing after all.

Namjoon walks into what he and BTS know as the “safehouse,” which is a large home away from the city where all 8 members have access at all times and their own separate rooms. They usually go to the safehouse when they want to meet up, have events and parties or just whenever they want to get out to somewhere private from their own separate homes. The other members are already gathered around in the dining room as he comes through the door.

“Hey, there he is! Welcome to the finest restaurant in all of Korea.” Hoseok yells over from the table where they are all feasting on what looks like bbq.

“Join us, I slaved away at making this for all of you, congratulate me.” Jin’s bubbly voice calls.

“As if. All you did was order the food hyung, don’t act like you prepared it!” Jimin teases Jin and reaches over to put some beef over the bbq and then dips it in some sauce.

“Ah, perfect. I’m starving.” Namjoon puts away his things and sits down in the empty chair next to Y/N. They all get into food and conversation, laughing and smiling and having a great time.

“I’m curious, what did she ask you that sent you over the edge?” Jungkook quired, sitting back as Taehyung brought over some beers.

“The interviewer started asking about my ideal type of woman, a question which I can usually dodge, but she was persistent. Then they pulled up pictures of me back when I was visiting Switzerland where I met a fan and they tried to frame it like a secret girlfriend situation.”

“They followed you to Switzerland?” Y/N looked up, a disgusted look on his face.

“Guess so. Anyways after that she-” Namjoon cuts himself off.

“Are you saying you are something other than straight? Is this official?” Her words came bubbling up again, making him feel nauseous.

“She what?” Taehyung presses. Namjoon shakes his head.

“Nothing. I just got pissed, snapped at her and left after that.” He avoids eye contact with any of them, hoping someone will change the subject.

“I think you were in the right. I would have been so snarky.” Yoongi speaks up from the corner seat.

“Yeah, don’t think about it too much man. There will always be more interviews, with better and more respectful people.” Jungkook says, trying to make him feel better.

The conversation shifts from there and as the night goes on, the boys get more and more inebriated. Jin is practically howling from laughter at Hoseok, who is falling over in his chair with his face bright red. Jimin is half asleep, Jungkook is not far behind him, and Taehyung is talking about some nonsense with Yoongi. Y/N and Namjoon seem to be the better off in the bunch, simply making stupid jokes and laughing at the other members. Namjoon speaks up.

“I’m drunk, gonna turn in for the night. As should all of you.”

“I think Jimin is already there.” Jin laughs and points at Jimin, who is face flat on the table.

“I’ll take him to his room.” Jungkook sighs and lifts Jimin up and carries him away. The other members eventually all go to their respective rooms also. Namjoon makes his way to his room.

Namjoon closes his door and goes to get ready for bed. His tipsiness makes him stumble sometimes, but he manages to get changed and brush his teeth. After getting ready, he practically falls into his bed and crawls underneath the light brown and white covers. He drifts into thought.

Ideal woman…

Namjoon starts thinking about what he finds attractive. He imagines lean, fit bodies and smooth skin. Silky hair and slightly parted lips. Sparkling eyes and light voices that entice him. He imagines a pair of hands caressing his face, feels the hands move down his neck and to his chest, constantly moving. The hands then become arms attached to a lean and skinny body, a dancer’s body. He feels the body with his own hands, moving to the sides of the person and down to their hips. The person materializes even more, revealing defined abs that lead to a man’s chest and strong thighs that straddle Namjoon’s middle, masculine shoulders that carry beauty and grace. The person is a beautifully built man. The face is blurred, but he can make out plump lips that shine, half parted in a silent breath. The figure leans down into Namjoon, hands on his chest and head as it gets closer to his face. Namjoon is lost in a trance by this beautiful person, and leans in to meet his lips with theirs, when he is met with air. He opens his eyes to his empty room and him in bed.

What a strange dream.

He winces as he adjusts under the covers and discovers that he is partially hard.

Great, just what I need.

He doesn’t have the energy to fix it right now, so he just takes a deep breath and ignores it. Eventually, Namjoon drifts off to sleep.

The next day arrives quickly, and the members are all hung over in the house waking each other up and groaning in the living room.

“What’s everyone’s plans today?” Jimin pipes up, cheerfully, as if he didn't get absolutely wasted the night before. J-hope looks up at him from his fetal position.

“How are you a real person?”

“Yoongi-ssi and I were going fishing if anyone wants to join us.” Jin puts the offer out there, to which nobody volunteers.

“I thought you hate fishing?” Y/N asks Yoongi.

“I do, but it makes Jin hyung happy. And it's more fun with friends.” Yoongi half spoke, half groaned his response.

“Awe, he does have a heart!” Jimin teased. Yoongi curled deeper into his blanket in response.

“I want to go hiking today, anyone want to come with? We can get ramyeon after and karaoke!” Jungkook suggests.

“Oh, that sounds fun! I'll come.” Hoseok blinks the sleepy away from his eyes and nods.

“Jimin and I will come too.” Taehyung holds up his arm.

“Do I get any say in this?” Jimin smacks Taehyung’s shoulder.

Guess that leaves Namjoon and Y/N. Namjoon turns to him.

“Would you be interested in going to the National Folk Museum of Art in Seoul? I haven’t been there in a while.” Namjoon and Y/N both share a passion for minimalistic art and artists as well as art history. Y/N looked up at him and smiled through groggy eyes.

“Sure, that sounds fun!”

Cute.

“Sounds like we all got plans then! Get up and get going boys, or these hangovers are gonna take your Friday away.” Jin initiates the march to get ready for the day and get going. As everyone gets up and gets ready to leave, Namjoon also stands up. Y/N stays on the couch for a second before groaning and putting his arms out.

“Help me up hyung, i'm dying.” Namjoon smiles and exaggeratedly pulls Y/N up from the couch.

“I take it I will be driving us?” Y/N teases.

“It’s safer for us and the universe that I don’t.” Namjoon laughs and lets Y/N go upstairs. He trips over the first step, making Namjoon smile.

Was he always this adorable?

Some time goes by and Namjoon gets a text.

Y/N: I’ll be ready in 15, meet me in my car? Me: SOunds good Y/N: Lol typo

He puts his phone away and gets ready. After 15 minutes of looking for a good art museum outfit (he decides on jeans and a hoodie because he couldn't decide) Namjoon heads downstairs and to the parking lot to meet Y/N. He sees the light mint green beetle with its engine on and in the driver’s seat is Y/N, in what looks to be a brown sweater and a green beret with thin circle glasses. He opens the passenger door and buckles his seatbelt.

“You look nice! Perfect for the museum.” Namjoon compliments his outfit.

“Ah, a classic Namjoon look.” Y/N laughs, pointing out Namjoon’s plain outfit.

“Yeah well, I'm okay with being inconspicuous.”

“You will be my staff as I get all the attention!!” Y/N smiles and gives Namjoon’s shoulder a light punch. Namjoon looks around the inside of Y/N’s car, taking it all in. The interior is light brown and clean, Y/N likes to keep his things tidy. On the windshield mirror is hanging a car freshener that looks like a daisy. Y/N turns on his bluetooth and connects his phone to the radio.

“Any music suggestions?” He asks Namjoon.

“I want to listen to what you want. What are you listening to these days?” Namjoon inquires. It has been a while since he hung out with any of the members one on one. Y/N nods and scrolls through his phone as if it was a super important decision.

“I need to find songs that you wont judge me for.” Y/N laughs, half joking.

“You know I listen to a bit of everything, not much can surprise me.” Namjoon reassures him. Y/N smiles and a song begins to play. Namjoon recognizes it as Troye Sivan’s “Lucky Strike.” Y/N bops his head along to the music and looks at Namjoon for approval.

“I know Troye Sivan. He has a great voice.”

“God, what I would GIVE to do a collab with him!” Y/N reels, then puts the car in reverse and they set off. The car ride is pleasant and calming as they take turns recommending songs and vibing to them, moments of silent listening as well as gushing about artists they like.

“I wish we could be more open in our music. Like Troye Sivan or Frank Ocean.” Y/N expresses. “I mean, I know we technically can, and there is nothing wrong with expressing your true self through music, but I feel like we have to be so on edge because of how many people listen to our music.” Namjoon understands what he means.

“I get it. We have to tiptoe around certain topics because of how international our reach is.” Y/N nods solemnly to Namjoon's response.

“Yeah. I just wish I could write about what I want without worrying about scandals. We write about girls all the time, I'd love to write a boy love song.” Y/N is focused on the road. Namjoon turns to look at him when he says that, but doesn't say anything. They bop their heads to music the whole way, Y/N making silly gestures and expressions to the music as he drives. A slight burning feeling arises in Namjoon's chest, and upon realizing he is staring quickly glances away and swallows.

Must still be hungover.

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Aaaaaa what did you guys think?!?! I have SO much more written that I'm excited to share with you about this story. If you enjoyed and want to see more chapters please show this some love and tell me what you think below!!!

Stay tuned, Jae loves you <3

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ieatsmallorphansnamedtom · 1 year

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Have you done Bachelor/Estes taking care of a sick farmer? I saw the ones of their SO taking care of them and wanted to see the reverse!

Bachelor/ettes Taking Care of a Sick S/O

Hi everyone, I'm back! For a while now I've been shifting my creativity onto other personal writing projects, but I'm happy to say I will (hopefully) be back on track to getting requests done. I may be a little slow, but I'm not sure. Thanks to those who stuck around!

Anyways, thank you for the ask nerdgirl57! I really should have gotten around to this sooner; it's a great ask! /pos /gen.

Bachelors:

Sam

Sam is actually pretty alright at taking care of you. He's got a little brother, and of course Jodi isn't always healthy herself. She started training him in how to do the basics of taking care of himself when sick, and he's used that information to help take care of his family, too. Still, he's not strict when taking care of you. He'll offer you a bag of chips as reward for drinking your soup.

You also watch a TON of movies together. It's the perfect excuse to hang out.

Elliott

Elliott's almost (but not quite) as good as Harvey when it comes to taking care on common colds and flus. Of course, more extreme cases he's not as equipped for, but he's not going to let you know that. You sleeping is his number one priority. He makes you a (burning) hot soup and strokes your forehead while you drift off to sleep. But if you're really having trouble getting rest (or just don't want to), he'll try to sing you to sleep!

Sebastian

Sebastian is sick so much he doesn't realise he's sick anymore, so he doesn't have a clue on what to do. He calls Robin for help, and she in turn calls over Maru to give her advice. Thanks to his sister, he gets you up and running in a jiffy. Not only does having you healthy again mean, well, you're healthy again, but it also means he can get back to his work. And he really needs that project done.

Harvey

Harvey's a doctor guys, you're fine! He puts on his stoic doctor persona all the time though, so if it's that shyer personality you're looking for you won't get it. He's just so used to having to be Serious that he forgets he's even doing it. You're absolutely banned from going near anyone with even the slightest cold for a week after.

Shane

He's all 'you'll get over it' until you don't get over it. At that point, you're either on the verge of recovering or literally dying. By then, he kind of has an 'oh shit' moment and helps you into bed. He does all the basic stuff: feeding you healthy foods, giving you medicine, etc. But like Sam, he lets you relax. After all, it's not fun to be sick.

Alex

God, he's all over you. 'Do you need this?', 'how about I get you a wet towel.' He absolutely HATES being sick and assumes you do to. He gives you a lot of awkward hugs. He doesn't want to get sick himself, but he also doesn't like seeing you suffer alone. He's doing all your chores for you and everything. He may not be the best cook, but he tries.

Bachelorettes:

Penny

She avoids you a lot. She's the kind of person to push a bowl of soup towards you with a stick so she doesn't have to get close. She's just far too frail to be able to handle getting sick again. The last time she did it was horrible and lasted for weeks. She makes you a lot of her own recipes. It's Penny, so you can trust it'll work, but beware: it tastes pretty bad. Just don't let her know about it!

Leah

Leah's got you covered, for sure. She's got a ton of natural medicines ready for you and mixes them in lovely soups and salads. You guys spend all day cuddling together and watching television.

Abigail

She gets all sad you guys can't go out for activities anymore. But she understands you're too sick to do that stuff. She doesn't want you to tire yourself out anymore. She cuddles you all night and day long. She doesn't care about getting sick. She doesn't really take care of you, more so tries to distract you from your pain and let nature take its course to help heal you.

Maru

For Pete's sake, she's a nurse. She's got you covered. You two are straight to Harvey's clinic where she gets you all the medicine you could need. You'd expect her to keep her distance. After all, she does when she's sick. But she wants to be by your side. She tries some new activities with you, so you're not bored all day.

Emily

Emily understands how much being sick sucks. She cooks you a lot of food in the hopes that you can stomach it. But if you can't, that's okay. She spends a lot of time trying to get you up and active, so you don't lose your muscles laying around all day. Some fun and simple dances are her style for this.

Haley

You get pampered with kisses the whole time. She hates to see you sick like that. She'll lay in bed with you all day (reading a magazine of course). You two spend a lot of time just talking about stuff while waiting for you to get better. She even tries cooking some stuff! Gets you any and everything you could need.

-~-~-

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zooophagous · 10 months

Text

Strauss sat slightly curled in the passenger’s seat of the dirty pick up. He was very pointedly staring out the window, away from the driver, watching the reflective markers by the road fly past in a yellow blur like shooting stars. Sylvain was grinning, seemingly at nothing. She wasn’t apparently concerned with Strauss’ refusal to look at her. She was too busy. Too busy haphazardly steering with one hand while fucking with the radio with the other.

“Ugh, country music. I can’t stand this twangy shit. How about you? You got a preference?” She craned her head to look at his tee-shirt, which bore the band emblem of The Rolling Stones.

“Classic rock fan? We can do that. You at least have good taste, Lu.”

“Where are we going?” He asked without turning his head.

“Like I said, we’re gonna have a little fun. Seems like something you’re out of practice on.”

“I am concerned that your idea of fun will not mesh with mine.”

“Oh come off it. I do have other interests beyond tormenting mortals you know.” She rolled her eyes. “You aren’t still MAD at me, are you?”

“You tried to kill a friend of mine and in saving him I managed to shatter my femur and be confined to bed rest.” Strauss replied flatly. “I loathe bed rest.”

“Come on. That was weeks ago!” Sylvain protested in a mock whiny voice. “You were barely on bed rest for two weeks, if that, I’m sure. I know you didn’t take long to heal. A drop in the bucket, for someone as long lived as you. Practically a minor inconvenience.”

“It is less minor for Mr. Samuel, who nearly lost his life.”

“Look, I had no idea he was as gung ho about dying as he was, ok?” She huffed. “Fine. You win. I’m sorry I almost killed Mr. Samuel by using my advanced powers of psychic suggestion to convince him to commit suicide. That’s as much of an apology as you’re going to get. Now will you try and look at me when I’m talking?”

Strauss inhaled deeply, and did as she asked, finally forcing himself to look at her. She felt so much larger than him, even though the opposite was true. She was nearly too short to reach the pedals of the obnoxiously large truck. Her claw rested casually on the steering wheel, the other tapped along in time to the music on the car door out the open window.

He harbored a multitude of regrets. This was supposed to be an expedition in information gathering. Doing so would be nigh impossible if he couldn’t look at her, much less talk to her.

“Forgive me. I am being rude. It is just… very new and strange for me, to be in the presence of another immortal like this. I am used to it being a bit more combative. It is not as if our previous meetings have been enjoyable.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I enjoyed them just fine. But! Apology accepted, Lu. We may as well start fresh and make nice. We have more in common than not, I’m sure.”

“Beyond both of us being dead, you mean?”

“Both of us being captives- excuse me, FORMER captives of the Van Helsings? Both of us being occult researchers?”

“How about both of us being wanted murderers?”

“Speak for yourself, Lu. You’re the one with the record. I’ve been keeping my claws clean.”

“Is that because you’ve been good, or because you know how to avoid detection?”

“You’re so clever, Lu. Funny guy. I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

“Like me, do you?” He raised an eyebrow. “I heard quite the opposite. I was told you had a hit list of vampires to dispose of, and my name was on it.”

“Told you about that, did they? Color me impressed. They must like you, if they’re that honest with you. No hard feelings about it Lu. I can call you Lu, right? Anyway, believe it or not, I didn’t actually want to ‘dispose’ of you.”

“No?”

“Nope. You were my thesis project for graduation. Harmless little old German man. When they told me your number was up, I was actually sad about it. Sad to see you slip up, you know? That’s why I put you at the bottom of the hit list.”

“How touching.”

“As far as I could tell, the victim in the killing that got you your murder record had it coming. But then, you did go on to kill again after that, didn’t you?”

“In self defense, yes. A Mr. Elliot Lane. Was he a colleague of yours?”

“At one point, yeah. He was a moron. Always felt like he had to prove himself. Be better than everyone else. He was a trophy hunter. It’s funny, I always knew he’d die at work. I just didn’t think I’d ever be buddy-buddy with the monster that took him down.”

“Both of those statements are false. I am not a monster, and we are not buddies.”

“Aww, don’t hurt my feelings now Lu. After all the effort I’m putting in to give you a night on the town?”

“You still have not told me where we are going.”

“Well, I know enough about you to know you’re a biologist at heart. I also know enough about the Van Helsing Institute to know your mind is going to complete waste there. I said we’d have fun, and I meant it. Consider this a peace offering, yeah? You’ll like this place.”

“What is it?”

“We’re going to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Strauss raised his eyebrows and turned to finally face her directly. “The zoological gardens where they keep wild animals?”

“That’s the one.”

“Why?”

“Two reasons. First, because I know you’ve never seen one and it’s pertinent to your interests. Second, because they have a petting zoo with goats, and I don’t want you to get peckish.”

She grinned evilly. Strauss grunted in reply. At least she wasn’t expecting him to join her in hunting humans just yet. “This facility is surely not open after midnight.”

“Doesn’t need to be. We can get in and out easy. Besides, it will be a nice quiet place to talk. That’s what you wanted, right? To talk? You still haven’t told me what about.”

“Yes. I am… building my courage to speak of it.” He swallowed hard. “It is a difficult topic to broach. I worry it may… trigger your temper.”

“Are you scared of me?”

He hesitated before answering. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Strauss returned his gaze to the roads. He rested his head on the window. The cool of the glass was comforting, even though the heavy rumble of the truck was off putting. The road slowly became the city. He had been here often enough to recognize parts of it now. There was the path that led to the bar, and further down, the road to Mr. Samuel’s house.

He winced inwardly at the thought. With any luck, she’d forget about wanting to hurt Sam. If she tried again he may have to break his promise to Artemis not to fight with her. She seemed content to sing along to “Paint it Black” on the radio until it faded into an obnoxious car dealership commercial that played several decibels louder than the music.

Strauss frowned, and abruptly shut off the radio.

“Not feelin’ the tunes, Lu?”

“If I have to listen to one more moment of commercials I will lose my composure. Are we close? I wish to get out of the car.”

Or at least, he wished not to be trapped in a small moving object mere feet away from her while she subtly mocked him.

“It’s right up this way. We’ll have to park and walk. If we climb the fence in the back corner here, there won’t be any alarms.”

“You talk as if you’ve done this before.”

“Of course. Many times.”

She parked the truck and hopped out of it eagerly. Strauss meekly trailed after her. This was already taking far too long. He’d allowed her to call the shots and get him to a secondary location. He was just along for the ride at this point. He absentmindedly stuck his claws into his pockets and felt the smart watch still there.

He gripped it momentarily. That watch was a lifeline. So long as Artemis was on the other side of it, he wasn’t completely alone with Sylvain. Not that Artemis could help very quickly. He almost missed Frau Harker.

“Y’know Lu. Before I got into the vampire killing biz I wanted to be an exotic veterinarian? Graduated with a biology degree and everything.”

“You must like animals. I suppose we have that in common as well.”

“More than I like people.”

“How did you come to join the Institute?”

“Some of my exotic animal research led me to some interesting places. Namely, old records of vampirism in animals. One of my advisors had ties to the institute, so I wasn’t exactly discouraged from learning more from there.”

“And they convinced you that these unique new specimens you’d just discovered needed killing?”

He followed her in the dark down a tree lined path. He could smell hot compost and dung- no doubt the dumping grounds of the large animal waste. Sylvain was the one not looking at him, now. She scanned the fence line for an entry point.

“It’s something they teach you when you learn about wild animals, Lu. Large predators and humans have conflict. Large predators need careful management.”

She found her spot on the fence and made the climb. She looked not unlike a squirrel, or rodent, scaling the sheer face of tall wooden slats.

“If people are in conflict with large predators, and someone doesn’t remove the problem predators, then the people feel unsafe, and they retaliate. They retaliate hard. If a problem wolf isn’t shot, a ranger might poison the entire pack. If a problem vampire isn’t dealt with, then every vampire loses their veil of secrecy, and all of them are in danger.”

“So your venture into the murder of our kind was done out of some desire to save us?” He tilted his head. “It was for our own good?”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t sound stupid in hindsight. You want the answer? You got it.”

She disappeared over the fence. Strauss gripped the top of the fenceline and slowly pulled himself up. Chin ups were arduous, but he cleared the obstacle easily, and lowered slowly to the tall grass of the other side.

“Is that it?”

“Is what it?” She led the way down the gravel path of the staff areas.

“I suppose I was expecting a renowned slayer to have some deeply personal reasons for collecting such a body count. I thought perhaps some vampire had wronged you, planted a desire for revenge, I did not expect your interests in us to be so academic.”

“Not every bad person has the luxury of a good reason for being that way.”

Strauss followed her slowly. His head was on a swivel, taking in the grounds. He could feel many eyes tracking him, and many excited heartbeats in his ears, but none of them human. No doubt the animal denizens of the facility were not used to seeing visitors at this hour. He worried one might sound the alarm, somehow, like a guard dog. No such alarm came.

“I suppose our paths aren’t terribly different. I too took an interest in vampires from the perspective of the biologist. I was more interested in medicine than zoology, however.”

“Interesting, ain’t it? I ended up joining the hunters, and you ended up joining the wolves. Interesting choice on your part too, Lu.”

“I did not go by choice.” He replied flatly. “I thought perhaps, given your research into my life, you might know that.”

“You had more of a choice than I did.”

“You and I both walked willingly into the tiger’s den.”

“Wrong. I walked in to kill a tiger. You walked in because one promised you something and you believed it. Maybe you should think twice about questioning my background when you’re the one taking candy from strangers.”

Strauss shut up abruptly. Her anger was still dangerous, despite the attempts at familiarity.

“Forgive me. I did not intend to upset you.”

“Relax, Lu. You didn’t make me mad. When I’m mad, you’ll know.” She turned to face him with aggressive eye contact. He felt himself falter even further behind her. “Besides, all that’s water under the bridge now. We ended up on the same team.”

“Same team, are we?”

“Sure. Vampires should stick together. We’re a rare breed. We won’t get a lot of people who understand us. Doesn’t make sense to fight.”

“Why then, in our previous meetings, were you so keen to intimidate me?”

“Large predators have a hierarchy, Lu.” She lingered slowly by the fence line as a pack of captive wolves approached the chain link with hungry curiosity.

“I had to be the one calling the shots. I needed you to know in no uncertain terms who was in charge. I didn’t want it to even be a question. So, a little vulgar display of power here and there. I figured your curiosity would bring you out even if I was kind of a bitch.” She grinned.

“Why is it important for me to be brought out?”

“I already said I didn’t want to kill you.” She leaned over the guardrail to look at the gathering wolves more closely. “I still don’t. I didn’t really think that you deserved it. I also know that most vampire research subjects at the Van Helsing Institute are kept there in jars, not in dorms.”

She crossed her arms with a sigh. “You’re doomed there, you know. They want to pretend to be your friend but you’re just an exotic pet, and soon enough you’d be another skull in a cabinet. I wanted better for you. I wanted to… I don’t know. Release you back into the wild.”

“The fact that I can tell you that I am happy and well cared for notwithstanding?”

“A psychological cage is still a cage.”

The wolves dispersed along the fence line. The novelty of the visitors had worn off. Sylvain followed the pack with her eyes till they were hidden from sight.

"It's a bit late to try and just put you back, unfortunately. Whatever worked for you before back home is gone now. If you're going to survive now you're going to have to adapt. And I know you're bad at adapting."

She started down the path again. Strauss wandered after her. "What makes you think I'm bad at adapting?"

"If you were any good at it you'd have done it on your own. You lived in a hole underground slowly starving to death. Don't take this the wrong way Lu. Most large predators aren't very good at adapting. Especially adapting to a bigger predator. They don't know how to cope with it. I get the feeling that it was all downhill for you once bloodletting started becoming less common for illnesses. Am I right?"

"I admit, yes. The advancement of modern medicine was beneficial to humanity, but the loss of that treatment did leave me very hungry."

"Damn shame isn't it. But you know, Lu. Even if donations run dry, you can still keep a clear conscience if you just stick to those who have it coming." She flashed her awful shark toothed grin at him, almost more like an animal baring its teeth than a person making a smile.

"Is that what you do, Frau Pietra?"

"Accusatory tone much? Besides, I know you've done it." She hand-waved him away as she strode down a path labeled "Asia."

"Yes, I have. But if you remember, that one was practically forced on me. It wasn't my original idea."

"Sure, the dead child molester wasn't your idea." She shrugged. "But I know he wasn't the first time you cleaned up the streets a little in the name of a hot meal. Maybe it didn't make it to your file, but I have a hunch, Lu. You can tell me. I won't blab to Ursula over it."

"If you must know, I have lived through two world wars, and I admit that yes… perhaps I did take advantage of the fact that so many people simply disappear into the fog of war. A dead Nazi here or there was not terribly missed. Is this sort of thing what you do often? Do you hunt, Frau Pietra?"

"Shhh. Hey. Look." Sylvain stopped and pointed at a fence. There was a panel built into it made of glass, for the viewing pleasure of the public. Strauss approached the glass slowly.

On the other side of the fence stood an apex predator. It was long, longer in body than Strauss was tall, and it weighed more than three of him. Its fangs likewise envied his own. Strauss ran his fingers along the raised letters of the bronze plaque that gave the beast its name.

PANTHERA TIGRIS ALTAICA

The Amur tiger. Small yellowish dots of reflected light glinted in its eyes. It stood not but five feet beyond the glass, regarding its audience with cool indifference. Strauss made eye contact with the animal, and felt that for a moment he could actually hold that eye contact comfortably.

The tiger blinked slowly, and began to pad silently past the glass, treating the pair to the full spectacle of its size and striped coat.

"That is a tiger. A real one."

"Yeah. Pretty fella, isn't he? Hard to believe they get that big."

"I've never seen a real tiger before."

"That one's not a real tiger. Not all the way. It has the fangs and the claws, sure. But it's not a hunter. It won't ever kill a deer or defend a territory. It will only ever eat and sleep and mate as its handlers allow it to."

"The sign says it is an endangered species. Perhaps places like this keep it safe."

"Safe is different from whole."

Sylvain walked off down the path again. Strauss lingered a moment to watch the tiger. It looked like a real enough tiger.

"I am sure it is quite real enough to humble anyone who tries to tangle with it."

"That's true. That's one thing I like about this place, you know? I don't even think a vampire is a sure winner against a tiger. Puts me in perspective. There's always a bigger fish."

"That is a cat, not a fish."

"Shut up."

"How much longer do you wish to linger here?"

"So impatient. How about this. Let me go feed the ducks in the koi pond and then we'll leave. We can talk more there. Maybe I can give you some pointers."

"Pointers on what?"

"How to be a real tiger, Lu. I feel like that's what you're really curious about anyway. I'd be happy to give you a little lesson."

"Lesson?"

He asked, though the answer was obvious.

"Of course. Before the sun rises, I'm going to need a snack. You're going to help me get it."

"I'll do no such thing."

"I wasn't asking."

She produced a quarter from her pocket, and fed it to a coin slot machine that spit out a small handful of crumbling brown pellets.

"Here. Feed the ducks."

She forced the feed into his hands. It left an unpleasant residue. He helplessly tossed the feed to the waiting waterfowl and watched it sink and be devoured.

#wayward souls #writing #original fiction #writblr

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