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bwbatta · 3 years

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The one where you get together (1)

Abstract: Y/N and Sirius have been friends since they first met on the Hogwarts Express, so when they do get together, they decide not to tell their friends straight away. (Friends AU)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Lupin sister!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, talking about sexual content

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: To celebrate reaching 500 followers, I'm dropping another mini series as a thank you to everyone who has shared and supported my work! Add yourself to my taglist here

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You could still vividly remember the first time you met Sirius Black.

Boarding the train to Hogwarts the first time, you managed to find a compartment with your brother, Remus, before it was descended upon by two rowdy boys with large grins.

James Potter and Sirius Black had, with no hesitation, introduced themselves to you and you quickly became friends, especially when you pulled your money together and bought a various selection of chocolates from the trolley. When the sorting hat placed all of you in Gryffindor, it only reaffirmed your friendship.

It wasn't just the four of you in your little group though, the boys were placed in a dormitory with another boy, Peter, and you shared a dorm with two other girls who also became fierce friends of yours; Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon.

Of course, growing up together through Hogwarts had it's arguments and fall outs, though somehow you always seemed to remain friends.

It wasn't until your seventh, and final year of Hogwarts did the surprising pair of Lily and James get together which solidified your friendship group even further. Between Sirius and you, the bet you had made in your fourth year regarding when the pair would get together, finally came to an end where you had happily took your winnings with a smile and paid for a bottle of Firewhiskey to celebrate.

After graduating, you ended up moving in with Marlene, finding a perfect two bedroom flat for you to share, close to Diagon Alley. The boys had taken a page from your book with Sirius using some of his inheritance from his great uncle and buying a flat directly across the Leaky Cauldron.

Whilst he had invited Peter to also live with him and Remus, the boy politely refused with the intention to stay with his parents for a while.

James however, had asked Lily to move in with him almost the second they graduated and the pair had moved to a little cottage in Godric’s Hollow. It wasn’t long afterwards that James had proposed to Lily which led to the current series of events.

About an hour before, you and Marlene had walked down the aisle in the gardens of Potter Manor in your bridesmaids dresses, while Lily had donned a white dress and followed you. Standing opposite your brother and Sirius, the latter caught your eye when your friends said their wedding vows.

With a wink, Sirius had your attention and you weren't exactly sure what it was that felt different, but something definitely did.

As the reception started, you watched Lily and James take some of their wedding photos together. The smile on your face was something you couldn't help as Remus appeared at your side, a similar expression on his own face.

"Remember when Lily hexed James so hard he vomited out of his nose because he proposed to her?"

"I'm pretty sure it made him like her even more to be honest, James is weird like that." You snickered, accepting the drink from your brother. "Who would've thought we'd be here not even four years later?"

"Tell me about it. If you plan on getting married anytime soon though, please give me some warning." Remus joked, nudging his shoulder against yours.

"I think I need to actually date someone before I marry them, but thanks for being so optimistic about my dating life." You grinned at him before seeing Sirius making his way over to the two of you.

"Well well, if it isn't the Lupin twins." Sirius laid an arm over both your shoulders. "How long do you reckon it'll be before Lily's creepy uncle makes a move on Marlene?"

"At least after two more drinks." Remus chuckled. "Which reminds me, I promised I'd save her from any men tonight who wanted to dance with her that, and I quote, looked like they had to use a stamina charm in bed."

"Good luck with that." You snickered, waving your brother off as he disappeared in the direction of the blonde.

Sirius didn't say anything else as he took a seat at one of the tables and pulled you down into his lap. It wasn't uncommon for the two of you to hug or cuddle, having done so numerous times in the Gryffindor common room, much to Remus' annoyance. This only really resulted in Sirius being more affectionate.

Being twins, the two of you were naturally closer than normal siblings which resulted in Remus being protective over you since the only blood family you both had left was each other. Your parents, especially your father, had grown fearsome and disgusted at what Remus was, despite it not being his fault when Greyback bit him all those years ago. Your father began to resent you after you constantly took Remus' side and played his constant advocate.

"Hey, what're you thinking about?" Sirius nudged you, grabbing your attention. His expression was unreadable as he watched you watch Lily and James interact with each other.

"I don't know, it's nothing." Sirius nudged you again, looking for a proper answer. "I look at them and I just wonder if I'll ever have that, you know? Someone who looks at you like you're their whole world."

Sirius didn't say anything at first, but pulled you closer. He wouldn't admit it but he often had the same thought cross his mind.

"You'll find them."

"Are they fucking hiding from me?!"

"If they've already met you, then probably."

Smacking his chest, you couldn't help the contagious laughter that bubbled from you, echoing that from the wizard.

"Being serious though," Sirius grinned at the pun he just made, "who wouldn't want you?"

You smiled at him warmly, not knowing what to say. It wasn't often that Sirius was, well serious. The boy loved a joke, but he also loved his friends and knew exactly what to say to them to cheer them up, especially you.

"Thanks, Siri."

"Hey, James and Lily are about to head off for their honeymoon." Remus said, knocking on Sirius' bedroom door at Potter Manor, stepping inside to see Sirius rush back out from the ensuite bathroom only in his shirt and boxers. "What happened to you? You disappeared from the reception."

"Uh, dropped cake down myself, had to come and change." Sirius told him quickly.

"You do realise you're a wizard right? You could've just vanished the mess?"

"Ah yeah, of course, how stupid, sure could've. Anyway, I just need to put on some clean trousers and I'll be right down."

Remus frowned. Something was off but he couldn't work out what it was. Putting it down to Sirius drinking too much, he waved the man off, exiting the room.

"Alright well, hurry down, James was asking for you."

Remus exited the room and Sirius quickly closed the door behind him. Turning back to the bathroom, he watched as you opened the door with a tentative expression, trying to zip your dress back up but failing.

"Do you think he knew I was here?"

"Don't think so, here, turn around, I'll do it." Sirius turned you around, quickly zipping up your dress before resting his hands on your waist. "So, we haven't done that before."

"That is correct."

It was slightly awkward between the two of you, why was it awkward? Oh, maybe because you were both fucking like rabbits not even moments before your brother knocked on the door. It had never been awkward between you before though and you didn't like it.

"Why is it so awkward?" Sirius chuckled as you spun around before him.

"Right! It's like I don't know what to say!"

"We're just two friends who've had sex one time, there doesn't have to be anything awkward about that!"

"Exactly, it doesn't have to be a big deal, it was a one time thing, we can just go back to the party and no one will know!"

"Yes, good plan, lets go!" Turning towards the door, Sirius started towards it with a new determination, completely forgetting one issue.

"Sirius?" He paused, looking back at you, "maybe you should put on some trousers before we go down though."

"Good idea."

Waving James and Lily off, you stood alongside the rest of your friends as Marlene appeared, pulling you towards her by your waist.

"Ugh, please tell me we're going to get some good booze and continue to get fucked up at ours?"

"Is that an open invite?" Remus asked with a grin, "Think I spied an extra bottle of Firewhiskey knocking about near the top table."

"100%," Marlene grinned at him, "after all, it's the least I could do after you saved me from so many creeps tonight. I will thank you in the form of hosting a small afterparty with the inner circle. Right, Y/N?"

"I'm up for it, I'll go see if I can grab that extra bottle you mentioned."

Taking off towards the top table, your eyes scanned the tables one by one until you felt a presence behind you. Already knowing who it was, you didn't bother looking back at them.

"I've got a fresh bottle stashed under my bed upstairs if we wanna grab that one?" Sirius said lowly in your ear.

"That sounds like a plan," you said slowly, "though I thought we said it was only a one time thing?"

"Weddings don't count, right? I swear that's a rule somewhere."

"...How long do you think we can be before the others get suspicious?"

"10 minutes?"

"Sounds good, lets go."

The pair of you said nothing more the entire night on the matter and ended up just having a good time with your friends. The boys ended up sleeping on your sofas, not trusting themselves to apparate safely considering the amount they each had to drink.

It wasn't until mid morning when everyone started to rouse, that you offered to make everyone a cup of tea to help with the hangovers that had started to form.

"Hey, make mine extra strong, will you?"

You laughed, turning to face Sirius.

"You need the caffeine that much?"

"That answer is a strong yes."

Pouring the boiling water into the mugs, you passed Sirius' over to him as he smiled at you in thanks.

"So, yesterday was something." You smiled, taking a sip of your own drink.

"Yeah... something stupid, right?"

"Yeah, totally stupid." There was a brief silence between you as you weren't exactly sure what to say next. "Look as much as I enjoyed it, I don't want us to become awkward or ruin our friendship or anything because of it."

"Good, because I was going to say the same thing." Sirius nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter top. "As good as the sex was, and trust me it was good, it's not worth making our friendship awkward or anything not knowing where we stand with the other."

"Right, yes, that makes a lot of sense." You both took another sip of tea as you listened to Marlene and Remus in the living room laugh about something. "Unless... wait no, it's nothing."

"No, what it is?" Sirius asked.

"Unless... I don't know, we keep fucking in secret and just don't tell the others?"

You stared at the tea in your cup before raising your eyes to meet Sirius' grey ones which were wide, a grin on his face.

"I guess that would work too?"

"Yeah... anyway on a totally unrelated note, Marlene's visiting her family tomorrow night at like 7."

"Noted."

"Where's my bloody tea, Y/N!" The blonde in question strode into the kitchen sluggishly. "I swear you've been in here for 4 hours making it."

"If you were a little more patient, Mar, I was just about to bring it out for you." You rolled your eyes but handed the mug over to her anyway.

"Thanks, how're you two feeling this morning?"

"Rough." Sirius grunted out as the three of you headed back into the living room. "But what's new there, really?!"

"You should really try cut back on your drinking, Pads." Remus mentioned, taking the cup of tea from you with a smile.

"You should cut back on your chocolate."

"Chocolate doesn't give you hangovers." Remus countered with a smirk causing Sirius to just roll his eyes as he sunk down into an armchair.

"Either way, I hope Lils and James are having fun." Marlene stretched out on the other sofa, placing her legs over your own. "I know James will be with the things Y/N and I packed as a surprise in Lily's bags."

You snorted into your cup as you remembered the countless lacy items you'd snuck into Lily's normally conservative wardrobe.

"Well, James might be happy about what you packed, but he certainly won't be happy with what we packed." Sirius snickered as Remus held back a laugh.

"What did you do?!"

"We might've exchanged his entire bag of clothes for an entire bag of Cornish Pixies." Sirius grinned. "I'm already expecting a howler from Lily at some point in the near future."

Sirius didn’t have to wait long for Lily’s reaction as only moments later he heard an angry shout through his two way mirror he shared with James.

As planned, Marlene visited her family the next day and no later after she flooed away, Sirius appeared at the front door of your flat. The same happened after Marlene was picked by Dumbledore for an order mission and Sirius happily flooed into your flat only moments later. You were convinced he’d bugged your flat somehow.

James and Lily returned from their honeymoon a week later, effectively surprising you as they flooed into your flat with no warning, causing you to stuff a naked Sirius into your closet. It was safe to say he wasn’t impressed after Lily insisted she make a pot of tea to ‘catch up’, and ended up staying round for several hours.

You barely managed to hide the snicker which escaped your lips when James asked if you knew where Sirius was.

With the newly married pair being back, the two of you decided to come up with a plan as how to sneak around without the others knowing.

Somehow, it didn’t really go to plan.

Sirius insisted that you should come over and take a bath with him one night, especially as Remus was due to be out. You couldn’t help but agree to the idea, mostly because you got to spend time with your very sexy male friend who looked very good in bubbles... and also the fact his bathtub was a lot better than your own.

The bathtub in question was a massive claw-foot tub which could fit the two of you and your two roommates if you so desired. Compared against the shitty little tub Marlene and you had in your flat, it was a no brainer.

Which is why as you sat in between Sirius’ legs, your back against his chest, you couldn’t help but feel more relaxed than you had done all week.

Sirius was leant back against the tub, his arm around your waist with a glass of Firewhiskey in his other hand. The two of you had nicked this particular bottle from James’ ‘secret stash’ which everyone knew he hid under his cloak, under the stairs. It was all too easy for the two of you to sneak in and borrow it for the time being.

“You know, Prongs must be real blind if he can’t see how many people actually know about his hiding spots.” You snickered as you took the glass from Sirius and took a sip.

“I think it might be all the brain damage after getting hit in the head so many times.” He grinned.

“How long do you think it’ll be until he notices the actual bottle being gone? A few days?”

“Give him some credit, it’ll be at least a week.”

The two of you chuckled before you heard the fireplace roar with flames. Footsteps quickly made their way towards Sirius’ room before heading towards the bathroom.

A panicked look between the two of you was exchanged as a knock was heard on the door.

“Pads? It’s me, I’m coming in.”

Sirius quickly took the glass of Firewhiskey back from you as you dived underwater, praying the bubbles would cover up the fact you were there.

The door opened and James stepped in about to say something, before he stopped and observed the scene before him. Sirius was sat covered in bubbles with candles lit around him. Despite the calm expression on his face, the fact you were lying between his legs in the water had his heart racing.

“Did you need something, Prongs?”

“Uh, yeah, have you seen the bottle of Firewhiskey which I was given as a gift for my wedding?” James asked, very obviously looking at the opened bottle on the side of the bath.

“Didn’t even know you got given one, mate. This was from Y/N.”

“And if I ask her, will she give me the same story?”

“Positively. Anything else?”

“Yeah, you want to order some Chinese?”

“I mean I- NO!”

His outburst was a surprise to both James and himself after you had pinched him underwater signalling you were running out of air.

“Really? Lily’s got me on this diet and-”

“James! Get out!”

“Fine! Okay! No need to shout at me, I’ve seen you in weirder scenarios.”

James left and shut the door behind him just as soon as you jolted up, gasping for breath.

“I’m sorry, he wouldn’t leave! He wanted to ask me if I fancied some Chinese.”

“Chinese?” You asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder with a contemplative look on your face. “I could go for some chow mein.”

“Prongs!” Taking a deep breath, you disappeared underwater again just before James appeared once more. “I’ll have a large chow mein, sweet and sour chicken, some of those prawn cracker things and the spring rolls.”

“Spring rolls? I swear only Y/N likes them.”

“Thought I’d try them out since as she’s always yapping on about them.”

“Alright, back in a bit.”

James left and shut the door again. You emerged from the water, leaning back on Sirius again as he relayed off what he’d ordered.

“You ordered me spring rolls?!”

“Yeah, I remembered you liked them.” Sirius shrugged, wrapping his arm around your waist again. “Even if they taste like arse.”

The group had gathered at Marlene and Y/N’s for an evening where despite Lily’s constant health kicks, she relented into ordering pizza for the group.

“Hey, you guys will never guess what I found out today.” Marlene grinned.

“You’re secretly a guy?” Sirius snickered from the armchair, only to receive a cushion being thrown at his face by the blonde.

“No,” Marlene scowled at him, “Alice and Frank got engaged!”

“What?! How’d you find out?” Lily asked as she cuddled up to James in the other armchair.

“I ran into Alice at Headquarters earlier and she showed me her ring.” Marlene leant back into the sofa as she brought her legs up to lay them over Remus’ lap. “We best be getting ready for another wedding soon.”

“I’m sure we’ll hear more at the meeting tomorrow.” James said grinning. “Who knew Longbottom had it in him?!”

“Alice certainly did.” You snickered, leaning onto Remus’ other shoulder. The comment got another round of chuckles from everyone present as Lily shot you a less than impressed look.

“Alright, I say let’s call it a night if we have to be at the meeting early tomorrow morning.” The redhead rolled her eyes at you all before standing up and brushing her dress down.

Everyone else seemed to follow her lead as Marlene and you stood to show everyone out.

“Yeah, I need to sleep as much as I can with Moony’s snoring keeping me up all night.” Sirius grinned, stepping up beside you and Remus.

What no one expected to happen was for Sirius to dip and find your lips in a kiss, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you closer, just as he had done for the last few weeks.

The rest of the group stood with slack jaws as they took in the scene before them as they watched Sirius kiss you. Pulling away, you caught each other’s eyes as realisation set in and your own eyes went wide.

“Marls,” Sirius shook off his slight hesitation before heading straight over to Marlene and pulling her in for a kiss of her own. “Lily.”

Stepping forward to give Lily a kiss goodbye, Sirius couldn’t help but notice the wide eyed look from both James at kissing his wife and Remus at kissing his sister.

“Pleasure to spend time with you all.” Sirius grinned at everyone’s expressions before entering the fireplace to floo back to his own flat.

“What the hell was that?!” Remus asked with wide eyes, securely on you.

“Probably some leftover greeting from Lily and James’ wedding. Lils did have some french cousins, perhaps he picked it up from them?” You chuckled, trying to play down the laugh you so wanted to let out.

“Yeah, it did feel french.” Marlene snickered. “I’m not sure if I feel happy about saying that I’ve kissed Sirius Black though.”

“Well, he can keep his lips to himself and not on my wife.” James scowled at the fireplace where Sirius had disappeared moments before.

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#sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black headcanon #friends au #sirius black x you #sirius black #harry potter #remus lupin x reader #marlene mckinnon x reader #lily evans x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black series #harry potter imagine #harry potter series #remus lupin imagine #harry potter headcanon #james potter imagine

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kimnjss · 4 years

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looks different | myg

⤑ series: be my baby

⤑ pairing: rapper!yoongi x mom!reader

⤑ genre: angst, not even kidding...

⤑ rating: PG13.

⤑ word count: 4.2K

⤑ warnings: there aren’t any. except a very sad min yoongi :( yeah, if you got tissues - bring ‘em.

⤑ A/N: okay so first of all?? guys!! thank you sooo much, for the quick support i’ve been getting for this fic! i mean we’re only five chapters in nd ., ugh!! just thank you sooo much i love you guyss!! also~ don’t get mad at yoongi, he’s just out here trying his best :(

APRIL 13TH, 2020 | 15:31

It's automatic the way his heart stutters at the sight of you walking through the glass doors of the studio lobby. Every last moment he's rushed down to this very lobby to wait for you, the biggest of smiles taking over his features when you'd finally arrive. More often than not with something healthy for him to eat, paired with the nagging of how he should stop ordering out even if he was working late.

His heart would stutter than too.

Different this time, though. Feeling more relieved than anything. There's no telling the dark places his mind has gone in the years that you've been gone – wondering what could've happened to you. And now you're here – safe. Yoongi loved you, of course, he'd feel relieved knowing that you were fine.

Fine, but different. He can't help but notice all the things about you that just... looks different. Your hair, the long dark waves that he loved to bury his hands in now cut short falling just below your chin. Made you look much older than your new twenty-four. Birthday had just passed, he remembered.

Your hips much, much wider. He can't help but pick up on that huge detail as they sway with each step you take closer to him. Very slow steps, for the record. Nervous steps. The same way you'd approach him if you were wielding bad news. That didn't change. Neither did the tentative way you nibbled at your lower lip, fingers pushing your hair behind your ear as you locked eyes with him.

The nerve to smile. Actually push the corners of your lips up and smile at him, but he's reacting the way he always has. Mouth dropping in slight awe because you were so pretty when you smiled. Even if it was riddled with anxiety.

Yoongi stands just as you're stopping in front of him, eyes traveling over his frame in wonder. He had changed in the past three years too. The hair that he kept bleached now it's natural dark color, his once lanky skinny frame holding more muscle. He's been eating well lately and you can tell in the fullness of his face.

Never the type of guy to wear his wealth, but you can't help but notice the diamond-studded single chain that hangs from his neck. A dazzling 'A' pendant hanging from it. Just a plain black tee and sweats, probably spent the day mixing and didn't bother to change from his night clothes.

That was so like him. And you had no idea how much you missed him until now. Seeing him, so close that you could reach out and touch him. But you don't, given the circumstance. No matter how much you want to – it'd be inappropriate. Could basically feel how angry he was, keeping your distance was best.

Realizing, the two of you had been standing there for quite some time – speaking no words, you decide to be the one to break the ice. It was your fault you were even in this situation, to begin with, right?

“Yoongi-,” You start, ready to explain yourself. Right then and there, lay it out flat for him. Everything. Why you left. The baby. What has happened in the past three years. But you're not given the chance.

His dark eyes widen at the sound of your voice as if he hadn't expected to actually hear you speak, as if you weren't real. And he's reacting all at once, arms reaching out to circle around your waist and pulling you into his chest. The force of his pull surprises you, but not enough to keep you from closing him in.

He smells the same. Has definitely swapped his cologne in the time passed, but that doesn't change a thing. He still smells like him. And you missed him. The sob that breaks through his chest, vibrates your body. With his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, arms clutching you close to his chest – he cries.

Not able to properly handle the emotions overwhelming his body, so he can't do anything but cry. Happy tears that you're safe, that none of the terrible things he thought had happened. Sad tears that you felt the need to leave him without a trace, leaving him to wonder what he could've done to make you feel so alone. Angry tears for all the shit you put him through by leaving, because he hadn't done anything wrong – it took him a while to realize that one.

All of those tears soaked the collar of your shirt, shaking his back. Fists clenching the fabric of his shirt, you forced yourself to keep your composure. To not break down the way you wanted because right now he needed you to be strong for him. You had no right to cry when this was your fault.

“I'm so sorry,” The words come out hushed at first before you're repeating louder. And then again. Until they're falling from your lips over and over again, you're worried they might lose their meaning.

But you don't stop, because ever since you made the decision to leave him – apologizing was the only thing you wanted to do. Woke up every morning with a new way to tell him, to express to him, how sorry you were. How shitty you felt by doing this to him. And now that you had the chance, all your practice speeches were gone out the window.

All you could muster was a simple 'I'm sorry' and hope that it held as much weight as it did in your heart.

The two of you stay standing there for moments to pass, your hand soothingly rubbing his back as he let out the frustrations he had been feeling for the past years onto your shoulder.

He's pulling back only after he's calmed down, eyes glossed and cheeks flushed as he searches your features. A soft, cool hand finding the side of your face, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. “Are you sure you're okay?” The slight crack in his voice from his crying nearly shatters your heart.

“I'm okay. I'm so sorry, Yoongi...” Again, you try to find the words, but you're at a loss. Don't know what to say, no matter how many times you’ve imagined this exact moment. Where do you start? How do you get him to see that this, him like this, was not what you wanted when you left?

“I can't believe it's really you.” Both hands sliding down the sides of your arms until he's able to reach for your hands, loosely holding them in his as he has done a thousand times before. “We have a son?”

The words that leave his lips are hushed as if he's afraid to say them out loud. Afraid to let you hear him. But you do. Loud and clear. And your eyes are widening at his words. He knew? How could he...

“Your Instagram. The pictures, that little boy. He's my son?” His ability to read your mind hasn't faltered. You can see the sadness in his eyes, clearly. And you know exactly why it's there and it's your fault. All because you were too much of a coward.

The weight starts in your chest, quickly rushing up your throat until a sob is breaking through. Eyes watering as fresh tears slide down your cheeks. “I'm so sorry, Yoongi. I-I should've... I didn't think-” You try to speak through your cries, but he stops your struggle; reaching to pull you into his chest again.

Gentle fingers stroke the back of your head, twisting in your short strands of hair. “Shh, it's okay. Relax, it's alright.” Except it wasn't. He knew that and you did too. Because of your stupidity, he lost the first three years of his son's life, time that he would never get back and it was all your fault.

He should be angry at you. Screaming at you. Cursing you ten times over. Not holding you and stroking your hair and telling you that it'll be okay. This was wrong. You didn't deserve his kindness, you didn't deserve him.

Lifting your hands to find his chest, you're gently pushing yourself back to create some distance between the two of you. “I'm sorry, Yoongi. I should've trusted you.” No idea that your trust in him and wavered, but Yoongi doesn't dwell on the small detail. He had a son now. He was a father. There were bigger things to focus on.

“Hey, listen. Whatever happened, happened. We can't change it, alright? Why don't we go somewhere? Get something to eat so we can talk properly?” You're nodding at the request despite the fact that you're not all that hungry. Can't eat with the guilt filling your stomach.

Yet, the last thing you want to do is stay in this studio. Haunted by the memories that the two of you made in this very lobby, every square inch of this place was covered with the two of you – and you ruined that.

Never realized how shitty being back here would make you feel and now you needed to get out.

An easy smile is spreading across his face at your agreement, a gentle hand rubbing at your shoulder. “Why don't you go wait outside? I'll call my driver.” You don't even bother to mull over the fact that he has his own driver now. One of the perks that came with his new lifestyle, you assume.

With another small nod, you're turning to exit the building to wait for him. Mind racing with how you'd be able to tell him about this without ruining everything he has now. He's accomplished so much and here you come ready to ruin everything.

Again.

Two large men lead you into a restaurant a bit too fancy for a late lunch that neither of you is in the mood for. Ushering you to a table hidden in the back corner before stealing seats a few feet away. Yoongi orders food for the both of you when the waitress is coming with waters.

“Water? Think we might need something a little stronger for the conversation we're about to have.” Trying to lighten the mood, but the stone-cold expression on his face as the nervous laugh dying on your lips.

Lips pulled into a tight line, you watch as he reaches for the wrapped straw at the side of the table. He takes his time with peeling the paper from it before crumpling it between his fingers, dipping the straw into the iced drink with the other hand.

“I don't drink anymore.”

Eyebrows shooting up in surprise at his quiet admission. You had always known Yoongi to be a man that valued a good glass of whiskey. Liked to have a few sips while he worked, always brought his own bottle to parties claiming 'you young-ins don't know how to drink'.

He always knew his limit, a couple of glasses here and there but he'd never push it where it became an awful habit. Made sure of it. But the sound of his voice when telling you he quit? Told you that he might've slipped in that department. And you can't help but wonder if that was your fault too.

“Tell me about my kid. What's he like?” Clearing his throat, his back straightens slightly – in an attempt to change the subject. Put a halt to all the questions he knows are bouncing around in that head of yours.

And you know him well enough to know when he doesn't want to be pushed. So you allow the shift, unwrapping your straw and dropping it into the glass.

“He's like most three-year-olds, you know? I named him Hyunki.” Another thing that you had wanted to tell him since you left.

It had only been a few months into your relationship when Yoongi told you. The largest of smiles on his face as he went through the list he kept locked away in his head, gauging your expressions as he listed each off. As if he was checking to see if you liked any of them.

SEPTEMBER 18TH, 2015 | 21:42

“You're telling me you've never given it any thought?” The surprise is clear in your boyfriend's voice as he cranes his neck to get a better look at you. Arms wrapped securely around your waist, holding you to his chest.

The movie that he had picked out has faded to background noise since he started this random conversation. If you had been paying attention to the screen rather than noting every cute thing he did, you'd know that his words weren’t as random as you thought. That they were related to the passing scene.

It was so hard to concentrate around him, you were discovering. Could never focus too long on the things that didn't involve him when he was near you. Always found yourself lost in those pretty dark eyes or mesmerized by that gummy smile of his.

How were you supposed to focus on the plot of a movie when the world's most attractive man was behind you? Holding you to him and chuckling so close to your ear it was like surround sound made just for you. You didn't even remember the name of the damn film.

“I can honestly say I don't have the identity of my future children chosen.” You speak through a laugh as he’s rolling his eyes, hands falling low on your waist until he's able to grasp your hips.

Easily, he's lifting your body from between his legs, turning you to straddle his lap. The movie has been forgotten in his mind too. Your hands find the sides of his neck, tips of your fingers tickling his blond hair. “That's not what I mean, you can't pick who your kids are gonna be.” He speaks in a matter-of-fact tone that has a smile tugging on your lips.

Soft hands find the backs of your thighs, holding your body to his. Yoongi tilts his head back just slightly so he can get a better view of your face. Searching your features carefully before he says what he's thinking.

Can basically see the wheels turning in his head as his nibbles on his lower lip, deep in thought while he watching you. And you watch him right back, lips pursed in an attempt to mask the smile threatening to take over your features. You had always loved the way he looked at you.

“What do you think of Hyunki, then?” Different from all the outrageous names he had listed before. Hyunki. You could definitely see yourself raising a little boy with his face and that name. But it's too early to say it, relationship still too new no matter how you felt. You didn't want to scare him away.

“Hyunki's nice.”

One of the hands he had rested on your back of your leg is shifting, moving forward so he can reach your stomach. Through the fabric of your t-shirt, he traces random patterns – eyes focused on the movement of his fingers.

“My first son. I want to call him Hyunki.” Eyes slowly traveling up the length of your body until he's pinning you with such an intense stare it has a gasp falling from your lips. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips, hopeful.

“Okay. I like Hyunki.” Yoongi's smile grows on his face, head tilting up to capture your lips with his. His grip tightening around your thigh to pull your body further onto his. Large hand flattening on the small of your back, guiding you until you were lying underneath him.

That was the first night you slept together.

APRIL 13TH, 2020 | 15:58

Warmth spread through his limbs with the knowledge that you had remembered your conversation all those years ago. Not only remembered it but honored him by using the name he had wanted. Just knowing that was enough to take a bit of the sting of leaving him away. Just a bit.

“So? What does he do? What does he like?” Had expected him to have more questions about you leaving, but it seemed his interest was elsewhere. And the least you could do was tell him whatever he wanted to know.

He was in charge here.

“He doesn't do much, you know?” A soft laugh falls from your lips, hand reaching up to push the hair from your face. “He's been really interested in sports lately. Plays soft basketball with Taehyung sometimes and-”

“Taehyung?” Yoongi's brow lifts at the mention of the unfamiliar name. Head tilting to the side slightly. “Who's Taehyung? One of his friends?”

“Kookie's boyfriend. He hasn't started preschool yet, so he doesn't really have any friends.” The waitress is heading toward the table, food in hand as two other women follow her.

Yoongi considers your words as the food is set down in front of you. Willing himself to keep calm as he takes in all the information that you're giving him. All of the things he missed. The fact that he has to ask questions about his own son, things that he should already know.

But he doesn't go off the way that he wants to, doesn't chastise you and place the blame exactly where it belongs. Instead, he's blowing a thick breath through his lips – leaning back against the cushion chairs.

“You moved to Busan, then?” From your countless stories about your best friend from Busan, he remembered enough to know that the 'Kookie' you were talking about was that same friend. So, the nod of your head is expected.

You watch as he blinks slowly, hand reaching for the clean utensils on the table. He clears his throat slightly, head tilting to the side in the way it does when he's thinking things over. Distracting himself by filling his personal plate with the various foods spread out in front of you two.

Silently, he gestures for you to eat and despite your hesitance, you move to fill your plate as well. Nervous. Pondering on whether or not you should just blurt it out. Ignore how he obviously doesn't want to know the ins and outs of your disappearance, if he did then he would be hitting you with questions, right?

Wished you were able to read him. Know what he was thinking right now. It had been something that you could do easily, simple gestures and facial expressions giving way to exactly what was going on in the head of his. However, it seemed that through time you've lost that ability.

“If he's three... shouldn't he be in preschool by now?” Yoongi's asking casually, shoveling a spoonful of food into his mouth as he watches you. How could he eat? Why wasn't he yelling at you? Pissed out of his mind. He's being so cool and it was throwing you.

You begin to eat after the expectant stare he gives you. Taking small bites, sitting on pins and needles in front of him. “Tae stays at home with him, but we were planning to enroll him once he's settled here a bit.”

There it was again, that 'we'. The 'we' that didn't include him in decisions that he should very well be included in. Only in this case, you weren't referring to the 'we' who decided on your disappearance, just the 'we' that have been helping you raise the son he had no idea about.

Yoongi can't help but feel bitter at the small fact. But he wills himself to bury it. Can't argue with you. Not when there's now so much at stake. When you have a kid that he doesn't even know, a kid that he wants to know. Needs to.

You held all the cards and without the knowledge of why you left in the first place, he had no idea what might set you off to where you were packing up and leaving again. That was the last thing he wanted, then and now.

He had to play his cards right.

Casual conversation remains steady between the two of you as you're finishing your meal. Filling Yoongi in on all the things he's missed in the past three years has your heart growing heavy. He's missed so much and it was because of you. Because you couldn't stand your ground and be with him.

He'd only ask you for one thing. Expected just one thing from you. And you couldn't even handle that.

“Does he know about me?” The words are coming out hushed after a stretch of silence. You had just finished sharing with Yoongi the slight obsession Hyunki has with Lego sets. How he could spend hours at his play table, building. He smiled real big at that, but from the slow way it vanished you could tell something was weighing on his mind. And this was it.

It pains you to shake your head. Hurts even worse when you see the sadness that flashes through his eyes. “Why not?” He's almost afraid of the answer, but can't keep himself from asking.

“It's always been us, you know. Me, him, Tae and Kookie. And he likes having them around. I didn't want him to feel like he was missing out on something.” So young that he hadn't started asking questions yet. Wondering why kids around him had two parents instead of one plus two respective uncles.

You thought you had been making the right decision, but as this week was set out to prove – you had no idea what the right decision was. And judging from the look on Yoongi's face, you were more than positive that you had made the wrong decision by keeping the fact that Hyunki had a father secret.

“So who does he think is his dad?” He's doing the thing where he's trying to keep himself from losing it. That hasn't changed.

The slight twitch of his brow, the flare of his nostrils as he took deep calming breaths. Desperately trying to keep his composure and not freak out on you the way he wanted to, you wished he just let go and give you what you knew you deserved.

“No one,” You're rushing out, hoping it could do something to relax him. “I don't even think he knows what that means.” Flinching at your own words, you force a breath from your lips. You try to change course. “I honestly thought it would be better for him this way.”

Hesitantly, you reach for his hand that had balled into a fist on the table. Soothing fingers running over his knuckles. “You can tell him if you want. Do you want to meet him?”

“Obviously, I'd like to meet my son. He's my son.” There's harshness in his tone that he doesn't bother to mask. That you don't miss as he's pulling his hand from your grasp, going back to the meal in front of him.

Lunch ends in silence. Yoongi quietly pays the bill, mumbles a goodbye to you as he puts you in a cab. Doesn't even bother to look back as he turns with his bodyguards to walk toward the car that had brought you here.

Yoongi is slouching in the back seat of his car, arms crossed over his knees and face pressed against his sleeve. Of all the scenarios he's imagined with seeing you again, he never thought it'd be like this. Had been so sure it would be clear where he'd stand with you if you were to ever appear in his life again.

But, it wasn't that simple. Because nothing in his life was ever that simple. Of course, he still loved you – an annoying fact that was hard to ignore. Yet, he'd be able to do it, would be able to move on despite his heart being filled with you, if it wasn't for the fact that you had a kid together now.

A human binding the two of you, of which he hadn't even met. And he wanted to. Wanted nothing more than to be apart of that kid's life, but that meant being apart of your life too. He had been too afraid to get the answer's from you today, not wanting his deepest worry to become true within your words.

Not knowing was better than knowing in his mind. Whatever it was, why you left him – took your unborn child and bolted, he didn't want to know. Afraid that it would be something so horrible that it'd crumble his already cracked heart.

“Everything alright back there, Mister Agust?” His driver speaks noticing the shake of Yoongi's back that accompanies the fresh tears that roll down his cheeks. Face hidden, he takes a moment to compose himself before lifting his head.

The back of his hand wiping at his damp eyes before he's pushing his hair back on his forehead. Eyes shifting to look out the window as he nods his head. A heavy sigh falls from his lips, dark sunglasses perched on the tip of his nose to cover his reddening eyes.

Tires skid to a complete stop in front of the building and Yoongi is stepping out of the car, hands shoved in his pockets as he takes slow steps to the front doors of the studio.

Words leave his lips as a hushed plea, a delayed answer to the question he had been asked in the car. What he had been thinking since he first scrolled through your pictures, seeing the life you had created without him.

“I just want to see my kid.”

— when the love of his life suddenly vanishes, he drives himself mad looking for her. seemingly erased from the world, he’s forced to pick up the pieces of his life and move on… fast forward three years and someone who looks a lot like the woman he lost is being spotted, holding a kid with an oddly familiar gummy smile…

⟲ masterlist ⟳

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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. to be added to the taglist, send me an ask !! feedback is highly !! appreciated, it’s the motivation i need to keep the fic going nd fun for you guys!!<33

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heckin-music-dork · 3 years

Note

Simon Peter from The Chosen for the character ask list thingy?

H*ck yeah, thanks for the ask!

Favorite thing about him- Basically everything, but in particular, I love that the second that Jesus calls him, he immediately becomes Jesus' self-appointed bodyguard/PR man, the former of which we see him as in the Bible where, when Jesus was being arrested in Gethsemane, he takes a sword and cuts off the ear of one of the Roman soldiers in His defense. He doesn't do anything half-heartedly; he has a lot of fire and passion for everything that he puts his mind to.

Least favorite thing about him- If I had to say something, I would say when he lashed out at Matthew, saying that he would never forgive him for becoming a tax collector. Which I know isn't really fair, because it's something that I know he'll grow out of (even now in the series we see he's beginning to soften towards Matthew, even if he still hasn't explicitly forgiven him yet). Also, I notice he tends to patronize Andrew and not take him seriously at times, like he still sees Andrew as just his little brother and not quite an equal. And like I said, not irredeemable qualities by any means, I'm being nit-picky here. Just things that we know he'll change over time.

Favorite line- "What do You want from me? Anything You ask, I will do." "Follow Me." Just. Ugh, that delivery, you can feel the gratitude radiating from that line, everything about that scene was so emotional and I love it so much. He owed Jesus his freedom, possibly his life, and you can tell that he's so grateful because he knows he doesn't deserve that mercy, and yet Jesus so freely extended it to him and asked for relatively so little in return.

brOTP- Him and Andrew, their dynamic reminds me of myself and my older sister. Also, I love that he's starting to develop a soft spot for Matthew despite their rocky beginnings, and I can't wait to see where that goes! And of course, how could I forget him and his Savior Himself? Need I say more there?

OTP- Him and Eden, of course! Talk about a power couple! I love that she's not afraid to set boundaries and make it known when she's upset with him at the start of season one, But then when things turn around and Jesus calls him to follow Him, she's elated and tells him something along the lines of "I'm so happy that someone finally sees in you what I've seen all along". They have so much passion, so much fire for each other. When they were reminiscing about their wedding day and he told her that his favorite memory was lifting her veil and seeing her, he said "I'd fight tigers for that memory," and I felt like, "should I leave? You two are having a Moment" anyway I love them so much ❤️

nOTP- Him and literally anyone but Eden

Random headcanon- when he and Andrew were younger they used to wrestle with each other all the time, and it usually ended up with little Andrew in a headlock, crying and saying uncle. I just feel like he used to tease and sorta sibling-bully Andrew a lot when they were kids. They still loved each other though, of course, and God help anyone else who ever dared mess with Andrew. (In summary, Simon was both the bane of Andrew's existence and his guardian angel, as all older-younger sibling dynamics are and ought to be)

Unpopular opinion- This isn’t so much unpopular as it may be borderline blasphemous, but is it wrong to think that Jesus Christ’s senior apostle is... um... unusually pleasant to look at? There are many shots in the show when I thought “oof, Eden is a lucky woman.” (That’s not my main focus of course but every now and then it just kinda hits me like a brick- that is an attractive human being)

Song I associate with him- The opening theme, Walk on Water, of course! Especially since (although we haven't seen it in the show yet) he was the one who got out of the boat (in the middle of a raging storm no less!) to walk across the water towards Jesus.

Favorite picture of him- have two instead

Pure wholesomeness💖

#the chosen #the chosen tv series #christian media #simon peter #Andrew #Matthew #Jesus Christ #christian #christianity #religion #the twelve apostles #the twelve disciples #ask meme #character asks

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quinintheclouds · 3 years

Text

YES YES YES YES YES

Spoilers for RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 6

THAT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAD EVEN LET MYSELF HOPE FOR

It really looks like this is the Volume the writers realized how many answers we’ve needed for years and years, and is answering them now. I wish it’d come sooner, of course, but since they can’t go back and fix the pacing or writing, I’m really impressed and optimistic about how Volume 8 is going!

BUT MORE SPECIFICALLY

I would like to GUSH about how they handled the Oscar and Ozpin scenes. We have needed, nay, BEGGED for this sort of development, and it’s finally here. There’s too much I want to rave about so bullet point time!

[Note: I love the farmboy so this wound up longer than expected -- have a read more for your scrolling convenience -- TL;DR at the end]

We got confirmation that Ozpin has been pleading with Oscar to let him take over so he can burden the pain and torture instead. Oscar is the one refusing, choosing to take it himself because he knows Salem and Hazel will be much harsher on Oz. I thought that was the case, but I’m so glad they addressed it because otherwise we’d be wondering why Oz hasn’t offered. It does make me wonder, is Oz still able to take control without asking? Oscar was able to fight it in vol 6, and he’s come a long way.

Hazel is holding back -- at least, Oscar says he can tell that he is. This would keep in line with the battle at Haven, when Hazel was suspiciously playing defense and stalling by letting Ozpin monologue, then letting Oscar give a little protagonist speech... I mean, it sure doesn’t LOOK like he’s holding back. Look at this kid:

moving on before I cry,

Ozpin suggests he take over and try to escape.

Oscar says no, he has a better idea. “This is our chance.”

Oz: “Hm. Maybe you’ve taken one too many hits.” I like this for two reasons: one, because it gives us a taste of the ol’ lighthearted Ozpin humor we’ve missed since he’s been gone, and two, because it shows that he and Oscar think differently. They have different thought processes, ideas, etc. Oz didn’t immediately know what Oscar was planning.

Oscar explains that Salem can’t take on everyone at once, and thus has been sending people to infiltrate all of remnant first, to attack from within.

I LOVE that they had Oscar come up with this, because it is so in line with his character development in Volume 7. Not to mention how in volume 6 he was the one to figure out how to defeat Cordovin’s mecha. It’s cool to see him as a strategist, because while he’s a sweet kid from the middle of nowhere, he’s proven to be really smart and quick.

Plus, this gives him agency. People wanted Ozpin to return and save Oscar, but this is so, so much better. Oscar’s idea, Oscar’s choice, and Oz gets right on board. They’re agreeing to work together, despite their unresolved conflict. “Ozma learned the importance of living with the souls with which he’d been paired.”

AND THEN, A MOMENT I CANNOT THANK RT ENOUGH FOR:

The captions don’t show it, but Oscar AND Ozpin said this in unison. Now, this and the few seconds that follow were a rollercoaster of emotions. Let’s break it down:

When they said this together, I was positively GIDDY with excitement: they’re leaning into the “like-minded souls” thing and calling attention to the situation! Surely this must be a sign that Oscar and Ozpin will indeed both exist when their souls are one, as they are both equally parts of the combination of lives that is Ozma. Well, maybe not equally (yet?).

Then, my elation was replaced with dread. What if this was actually an indication of them “merging” in the way some of the FNDM interpret it will go, rather than how I think it does? Or what if that’s not what RT is doing, but what if the FNDM takes it as a sign Ozpin is taking over?? I can’t last the whole break without knowing!

AND THEN!!! Ugh, this made me so relieved. Ozpin says, in a slightly amused tone of voice with a trace of a laugh, “We certainly are similar, you and I.” YESSSSS more references to them being like-minded souls!! But still having differences!!

“Maybe we have been presented with an opportunity.” I’m really glad they went the route where Oscar is changing Ozpin’s mind on things. Oz no longer thinks he knows best, and is allowing Oscar to come into his own. Now he’s seeing how far Oscar’s come and the person he is.

Related note: The commentary for the vol 7 finale said that it was Oscar’s speeches to Ironwood about fear and trust that made Oz realize he’s been keeping secrets and hiding out of fear, and inspired him to come back. This is so promising for Oscar’s character going forward.

[Side note: Would love more info on what Oscar meant in volume 7 when he said “these memories... you’re back, aren’t you?” because? Is he just referring to the scenes with things like how he talked about Atlas’ history as if he were there, or does he have access to Oz’s memories now? 2 chapters ago we saw that he doesn’t yet know the location of the Beacon Relic. So unless he was lying really well, he doesn’t have ALL the memories yet. So which ones does he have? RT EXPLAIN]

Next,

I would like to call attention to the fact that Oscar smiled here. After Ozpin said they were similar, I was worried Oscar would react the way he has in the past: sad and conflicted about his identity, worried he’s becoming less of himself. But no. Like we saw in Volume 7, THIS is who Oscar Pine is. His development was his own, and we get to see that when Ozpin returned because Oscar had made him rethink his choices. Oscar Pine is more himself now than he’s been at any other point in the series.

It’s really brilliant how the writers have used these last 2 volumes to show that Penny, the robot, is one of the most human characters on the show; and Oscar, the boy cursed to death and rebirth with a soul that was not his own, is one of the most individualistic ones. It’s just really cool how they’re playing with our expectations of the characters. (They’re doing great with Salem, too!)

[Side note: Penny’s soul/aura was given to her by Pietro, and they still have distinct personalities and identities. It’s possible that’s a parallel to Oscar’s situation, but I do feel the merge’s completion will result in one remaining soul/identity - just not a “taking over” situation]

Okay, that’s the last of that rollercoaster I mentioned.

Time to get on a new one!

At long last, this episode finally gave us something we haven’t had since chapter 4 of volume SIX*:

*(I am not counting the one second of "Oscar." *glowy eyes* *Oscar blinks and is back in control* in the vol 7 finale)

OZPIN IS BACK!!!!

First, HELL YES I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN!!!

Second, wow, they can change really quickly now. At first it took effort and was super visible, then just shook Oscar up a bit with the glowy eyes, and now it seems almost effortless, seamless. The eyes glow and the transition is smooth. I like it.

We didn’t get to hear Oscar’s thoughts after Oz said “Oscar, please,” begging him again to let him take control. So we don’t know whether Oscar allowed it out of pain, exhaustion, their plan, or a decision to trust Oz and work together here. Alternatively, Ozpin may have simply taken over of his own accord. I wish the writers would give us more insight to Oscar’s thoughts, because those scenes already have him talking inside/to his own head, so leaving some of his thoughts out can seem intentional and open-ended, which could mean more dragging out answers, but I think this was fine. Not the worst case of this by far lol

WHEN! HE! SPOKE!

I was hoping for this with all my heart. Over the course of volume 7 in particular, we saw Oscar’s voice, mannerisms, and speech patters start to resemble Ozpin’s. However, he still sounds and feels like Oscar. Going back to Volume 5, heck, even Volume 6 (which is when we last saw Ozpin in control), the voice of Ozpin speaking through Oscar is similar, but distinctly different from how Oscar’s speaking now. So I’ve been theorizing and hoping, and it CAME TRUE! Ozpin sounds more like Oscar now, while still managing to clearly be Ozpin.

Right from the first “Hello,” it was noticeable. It sounded almost like Oscar. I know it’s the same voice actor when one of them is in control (same body, same vocal cords), but that just makes it even more impressive. This is the first time we’ve heard Ozpin’s voice speaking through Oscar since QRWBY yelled at him in the snow in vol 6. And I was NOT disappointed.

“Why do you follow her?” I’ll keep saying it, but he sounds so much like Oscar confronting Ironwood.

“I know how you see me. But her? Look at what she does, how is she the answer, why not stop her??” This gives me serious deja vu to Oscar’s speech towards Hazel in the Battle of Haven (and his speech towards Ironwood in v7′s finale). That speech had given Hazel pause then, and this one does as well, now. Ozpin sounds angrier, though, more aware of just how far gone these people are, but knowing they can change.

Hazel calls Ozpin out for the same thing the FNDM has been, and honestly, it’s been a long time coming. Hazel’s motivations are extremely misguided, Oscar was right to stand up for Oz/Gretchen at Haven, and the show really needed to reinforce the Ozpin-isn’t-bad-actually thing. Now it’s all out in the open. But it’s Ozpin’s response to this that elevated this scene even more:

That’s it. Ozma has spent countless lives fighting a war that may be impossible to win. But if no one tries, no one will survive. The gods will destroy all of Remnant. Still, every single lifetime, he chooses to try. Like Oscar said in volume 5 (about Hazel’s sister but writing-wise also kinda about Pyrrha), “She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself. So do I.” Like-minded souls.

AND THIS!!! Good gods I’m glad he said this. The show went way too long before anyone even questioned the “You can’t” answer from Jinn. Nora mentioned it in passing earlier, which I liked a lot (though this really should’ve been discussed in volume 6, but better late than never). But here? We see that Oz never gave up, never planned on losing, not sending people to a battle he “knows they can’t win.” While Salem is immortal, she is not infallible. Not even the gods were. Salem can be fought. Even Hazel has a moment of hesitation, perhaps even realization, before Salem enters.

Salem manipulates Cinder, offering her the maiden powers she wants so badly, and Ozpin interjects. “You’ll only be helping her bring about the end, for all of you!”

I just wanted to show these shots because again, just as we’ve seen Oscar’s mannerisms become increasingly similar to Ozpin’s, now that he’s back, we get to see the other way around. Look at the surprise and fear on his face. Look at how he widens his eyes and raises his eyebrows instead of narrowing/furrowing them now. Listen to the sounds he makes when tortured or thrown about. Listen to the desperation and earnest passion held in his pleas. He’s no longer hiding -- he’s being honest with the people who scare him most, and truly trying to help them see the light.

[Side note: Cinder is not showing remorse in this scene, but I wonder how she’d react to Oscar, not Ozpin, being tortured. In the same episode, we have Cinder being tortured with a shock collar, AND we have Oscar decide to try to appeal to the humanity left in these villains. Last time we saw Oscar, Salem was torturing him with intense, almost electric magic. She might not care, but I wonder...]

ANYWAY I’m done for now. Have a TL;DR that wound up being long too

TL;DR:

Basically, I’m super happy with the writers for the detail put into these scenes:

they confirmed Oz has been begging to take over and bear the torture instead

had Oscar come up with an idea himself instead of getting rescued or immediately escaping

had Oscar view his dire situation as an opportunity, reminding us of his optimism and capabilities as a strategist

had Ozpin not know what Oscar’s plan was before he explained it (this might change as the souls become one, but it at least shows they think differently)

Oscar’s plan to appeal to the villains’ humanity and infiltrate Salem’s forces from within lining up with his volume 7 character development

had Oz trust Oscar and put his faith in him, which is progress for Oz

Oz and Oscar speaking in unison and agreeing to work together

Ozpin’s comment about them being similar, not the same

had Ozpin take control to speak to Hazel

Ozpin’s speech to Hazel and Cinder as parallels to Oscar’s speeches to Hazel and Ironwood, which CRWBY said were the reason Oz realized his secrecy is out of fear of trust, and Oscar’s points are what inspired him to come back.

Ozpin sounding and acting more like Oscar just like we’ve seen happen the other way around (though with Oscar, he’s holding true to his own ideas/morals, with Oz meeting him there)

established hope for some of our villains to defect, setting it in motion.

#oscar pine #professor ozpin #rwby ozma #the merge #rwby ozcar #hate calling them that lol but it's a useful tag #rwby8 #rwby #quinpost

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maariarogers · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho

Ever since the tv show started, I’ve begin thinking and noticing for a while now that, more than anything, I’m more #TeamSuho than I am #TeamSeojun.

And the thought of “why do I think like that?” kept repeating in my head, because, if I’m honest, the casualness that Seojun and Jugyeong shared early in the series (I’m talking webtoon and, truth be told, a bit of the tv series) really struck me as them having a much easier and playful, therefore fun, relationship. Which makes for an interesting dynamic than what Jugyeong had with Suho.

So, here are my thoughts why I think I prefer Suho with Jugyeong towards the end.

To warn, this is, firstly, have nothing against any of the characters or the ships! I’m merely sharing an in-depth analysis of my thoughts on my own view why I prefer Suho with Jugyeong. Secondly, I’ll be referencing a lot of the webtoon rather than the tv series (although I feel like I’d like to spill my thoughts on that soon, so I don’t know if that long analysis of “why I surprisingly find myself enjoy the adaptation more than I thought I would” is coming soon, buuuut yeah, we’ll see) so, please be aware of spoilers.

As reference, I’m currently at Chapter 124 of the English-translated version of True Beauty as I’m writing this, but I am aware of spoilers ahead of the chapters.

Another Warning: This is so long. Oh my god. How did I manage to write it this long? So. There’s that.

Okay. So. What brought this on?

Honestly, it was just the excitement from knowing that True Beauty was airing soon and I was just so interested to see the dynamics the actors were going to play out rather than just seeing the characters across the a page screen in comic strips as I’ve been following them since I stumbled into the webtoon about, yikes, a year ago?

But – more than anything, I just really wanted to see how Suho played out.

1. So, What’s The Deal With Suho?

If I’m honest, I’ve always thought that Suho is laughably (yikes) boring. Not necessarily in a bad way, no! I actually think it’s one of the things that’s made him quite appealing — in ways that, in other settings, I would have actually found him uninteresting and easily passable as a main lead. But not in this particular world.

To add: the Author also referenced this many, many times throughout the webtoon. Quite brilliantly, in fact — specifically, from Sua’s point of view, as she points out quite a few times that, besides from Suho’s looks, “he’s really got nothing going on for him” or that “he’s boring”. (I frickin’ love Sua in both the webtoon and tv show!)

This was also a really important plot device during the Prince of Princes (Did I get this name right? Omg) competition TV show when the influencer (again, I really can’t be bothered with what’s-his-name) actually called Suho out for basically “not trying his best” when everybody else was clearly giving his all. This triggered Suho to actually act outside of his comfort zone and actually wanted to pose for a sexy photoshoot.

I do also honestly think he’s clinically depressed on top of just having had naturally adapted a much calmer composure to compare with an easily expressive Jugyeong and a very charismatic Seojun. But the thing is, the author really made Suho “boring” on purpose — and the best thing is? It works.

Because as much as Suho is “expressionless” — as in, he doesn’t really emote whatever his feelings as honest or as obvious as the other two leads — he can still carry his character well. Like Jugyeong has learned over time, we start to figure out that, oh, Suho has to put his act together because his father’s famous and he doesn’t want to tarnish that reputation. He’s ruthless to admirers because he’s logical about rejecting unwanted advances. He’s surprisingly rigid and slightly cold, but only because he’s used to only have himself as company.

In all honesty, I’m still trying to wrap my head around Suho. I still don’t quite understand why I’m so fascinated by his personality when, if those sort of “dark brooding” tropes were played in other medias, I would have rolled my eyes and rejected it instantly for how much it’s overplayed.

But I didn’t. Not with Suho.

Perhaps, an angst-lover at heart, his unrequited relationship with Jugyeong really struck with me. His patience when he’s obviously hurting as Jugyeong dismissed their almost-romance, or when Seojun and her were being lovey-dovey in front of him was really incredible. Suho rarely lost his composure, which was quite a feat considering as readers we know he still has lingering feelings towards Jugyeong, and I felt like that spoke volume about his character.

(Besides that, Suho was always so incredibly respectful — not only towards Jugyeong but also towards Seojun. Seojun obviously learned it much later on, but Suho never once carried any ill-intention when he learned Seojun and Jugyeong were together. In fact, again and again, he congratulated and cheered them on, even when we knew later that he feels awful for the lost chances. Still, Suho never acted violently or aggressively. Not once. It was only Seojun who had easily misunderstood him and thus, reacted badly.)

(Although again, that’s so brilliant on the author — because Seojun’s quick-temper is such a staple and big part of what made Seojun Seojun. I’m happy that he acted that way, because that meant his characteristics are consistent from when we first saw him in the webtoon. Of course, that doesn’t mean the temper in and of itself is always good, but — it’s realistic for him.)

2. So, Why Jugyeong and Suho?

Now, this is the part where it gets tricky.

A lot of the fans — some of which are my own friends, and people I knew — abandoned the webtoon because the drama has gotten “tacky” or Jugyeong’s growth has been “stunted” for a few chapters. I can’t say I totally disagree, because I do see there’s quite a lag in the plot, buuuuuuut.... I do feel like the author adds that in on purpose.

Of course! I might be wrong! But hear me out.

I think it’s on purpose because it wants to show the development of Seojun and Jugyeong’s relationship – and why it didn’t work. (Again, anything can happen; I’m only at Ch124, so things might still change for Team Seojun!) Of course, for all those who are aware of the spoilers, the answer was simple: they didn’t work because the agency asked Jugyeong to stop dating Seojun due to his rising status as an idol.

It’s more than that, though.

I’ve also been reading a few comments and some of them pointed out how they thought that Jugyeong has always seemed more relaxed and more playful when she’s with Suho than she is when she’s with Seojun. But... I do have to slightly disagree. Only slightly. Because, if we review the arc during their high school when Jugyeong liked Suho, she was obviously more comfortable and were able to tease and be more playful with Seojun — but she was a little guarded with Suho, which was understandable. She didn’t want to look bad in front of her crush.

I’ve always felt a little threatened at this point because, man, Seojun and Jugyeong’s chemistry was so, so good during this arc. I love Seojun, I really do. He is such a nice and considerate man in ways that I really didn’t think he could be when we saw him as a teenager — but the author really pulled him off well. And he’s so sweet, too? So loyal? Ugh.

The downside is, though — he doesn’t push Jugyeong.

More than that, their relationship (perhaps because they were each other’s first true, committed relationship) really caused each other massive anxiety. Jugyeong wasn’t really honest all the time due to this — not her feelings and not her concerns, and Seojun became an unnecessarily worry-wart even when he shouldn’t be. This had, several times, led him to become inconsiderably possessive i.e. during the time he fought with Suho when Suho had only wanted to help.

Of course, they sort the issue out in the end and Seojun started to reform himself to be an even better partner. But... you can tell, in a lowkey sort of way, that the good-feeling they had when they were just friends, it isn’t really there anymore. They don’t really have fun together. (Although maybe that’s just because Seojun became busy and/or the author skip most of their dates along, so — I might be biased a bit regarding this!)

But with Suho, even as friends, Suho has always pushed Jugyeong — more than just about her bare face, he pushed her to pursue what she wants to do. Not only that, he encouraged it; he helped her.

Which is why I think the plot became slightly stagnant in the moment: because, like Jugyeong, we’re focusing too much on her relationship with Seojun and what would it mean when Seojun became an idol. We’re carried along with her anxiety, with their upside down, with Jugyeong’s worries. We’re stuck in Jugyeong’s first relationship — and that’s it.

But with Suho, the plot moves: Suho pushes Jugyeong to study, Suho talks to her about her ambitions, Suho makes her confronts her fears, and one of the best parts of the series so far — when Suho was consulting her after Selena scolded Jugyeong for messing up on set — Suho recognised what she wants to do, what she likes to do, and he encourages her for it. He comforts her, and tells her to not give up. So now, we see her wanting to try her best in wanting to help Selena.

With Suho, I feel as if... Jugyeong’s focus grows more than just her being upset about one single relationship. Suho’s calamity and logic straightforwardness probably helps — it doesn’t cause as much anxiety as Suho’s relatively honest, which Jugyeong can depend on and seems to explicitly trust — and Jugyeong’s story, once again, grows to be more than just another love story.

It’s become a story of her trying to find a place in the world again, of her trying to figure out what exactly she can do for herself despite all these obstacles and hurdles.

I’m not saying with Seojun, she doesn’t go through any character development at all, no — but her focus tends to single-handedly narrow towards Seojun directly and their relationship, and it leaves very little for Jugyeong to really consider anything else, specially her own growth, which is equally important.

With Suho, she’s just able to do that a bit better, and we can see she’s slightly more comfortable too.

(And, before anybody comes at me, yes, I do think Jugyeong pushes Suho too. She literally recommends Suho books that he doesn’t seem he was going to read anytime soon, or he could’ve overlooked it easily — but she does that. She pushes him out of his comfort zone and suggested a new author / series. And Suho reads it, and he learns that he likes it. It’s the same when she recommends the music app. Or the hairdo. She’s always been a giant force pushing Suho forward; Suho’s always trying to change and/or improve himself when Jugyeong comes in.)

3. Conclusion

This is sooo long so I thank you if you’ve made it this far! I’m just really, really happy with the TV series and these thoughts about why I adore Suho have been nagging at me.

I hope everyone likes the full analysis of my messy thoughts as much as I enjoyed writing it fully on a whim at 1am.

#True Beauty #Lee Suho #Team Suho #teamsuho #suho x jugyeong #meta #true beauty meta

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unprofessional-bard · 3 years

Text

Chapter 10 - The Good News

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Nothing much, just fluff

Summary: The reader and Joel, well, seal the deal.

Word Count: 4.405

Author's Note: Okay so my dumbass mixed the dates in the previous chapter and although I fixed it on the other post, I just wanna clarify that this is December 2035! I almost screwed up the story line a lil bit but, no worries, it should be fine now 😅 Apologies again for late updates, I promised you all I'd see to the end of this series and I will, trust me!

Enjoy!

You weren't expecting him to propose.

Oh no ma'am that was the last thing you were expecting.

But that didn't stop you from whispering a soft 'yes', of course. It took you a moment to process because you were caught off guard, but without hesitation, you placed a tender kiss to his lips after your answer.

He knew the idea of getting married in the middle of an apocalypse was a silly idea and the whole labeling yourselves thing even more so, but he was more than relieved when you said yes. The circumstances you were living in (being lucky enought to live an almost normal life in Jackson) made it a bit more available for a an in-front-of-god's-eyes kinda ceremony; you were even fine with calling him husband and him calling you wife - you didn't even have to get married for that if you were honest. Your feelings towards each other were deep and true, you just had to label it without official papers.

You could tell Joel was scared, though. He confessed that he'd been only thinking about proposing to you, but after everything that happened, he knew he might not get another chance at doing so. You understood better just how scared to death he was all that time you were captured by Axel, then in the infirmary where he thought you may not survive it.

There was also the tiny, insignificant issue of his ex-wife, of course. It had been more than 25 years since her and you weren't worried about it at all, obviously. Tommy let you have an insight to their relationship from time to time (brief but still eye opening) and you knew everything you had to know - it wasn't pretty, and you couldn't help but think Joel's mind often wandered to his old memories, which perhaps made him feel insecure. You didn't say a thing about it, of course. If he wanted to talk to you, you'd be more than willing to listen.

In the end, he chose not to, even until the wedding day, so all you could do was assure him over and over again just what a perfect husband he was going to be, without touching the other subject. He was the ultimate family man, according to the younger Miller and you could see that too. You loved him for who he was, dearly, and that's really all that mattered.

Breaking the news to the close circle- to Tommy, Maria and Ellie, was delightful. Ellie was a little bewildered, but still happy. Tommy was surprisingly too enthusiastic, insisted you made a ceremony, despite your and Joel's protests.

"We don't want no fuss, Tommy, we already talked about it and decided not to," Joel gently traced your fingers with his thumb as he held your hand in his.

"Aw c'mon, this is big- for the both of you!" Tommy chuckled. "You're the town's sweethearts, not many people have beef wih either of you and, plus, it'll give folk some break and a reason to celebrate."

You reasoned with it and decided to do it, but without the usual formalities. Naturally, it was impossible to get all dolled up for a wedding with the traditional dress and suit in the post-outbreak world. Plus, the weather was going to be very cold by the time you had healed completely, or enough to stand on your feet without any help.

...The remaining 2% who helped you around was either Ellie, or Jesse, who was absolutely thrilled to see you out of the infirmary and when he heard about the big news. As soon as Ellie brought him over to visit you at Joel and your (now officially) shared house, he bombarded you with questions like when you were going to heal completely and join patrols again, or when the wedding was, which made you really happy and appreciate him. Dina was, well, very happy too but kept telling Jesse to Shut up! Let her rest, she just got out! Sweethearts they both were, probably your favourite kids in Jackson after Ellie.

Speaking of Ellie...

You got to spend more time with her again once you moved back in. You sometimes had your meals together while Joel was away on patrol, but whenever the three of you were together, Ellie got quiet. She sometimes wouldn't say a single word from the beginning to the end unless you made her talk, but you stopped pushing it after a while, as you realised how tense she'd get and how she'd start to play with her fingers. You wanted to ask her about it, but you also didn't want to push her; she always came to you when something bothered her, so you decided to be quiet about it and let her come to you.

By December, you were capable of standing on your own feet for the most part. Although not mentally, you had healed a lot and what was left of the attack were a couple of bruises. Your nightmares, well, they were reoccurring and continuing, but with Joel by your side, it was easier to handle than it was when you were in the infirmary and alone. It took you a long, long time, but you felt like you were finally ready to move on.

What was done, was done. Axel had killed your family, you thought he died and focused on your grieving; he turned out to be alive years later, almost killed you and your husband, so you dealt with the only option you had left: Killing him. Was it... necessary precautions? Or was it just revenge? He was clearly looking for you, he somehow managed to track you to the outskirts of Jackson, so really it was either him or you - a group of murderers or a town filled with innocent people.

You came to the conclusion that, by torturing him to death, you were taking advantage of 'getting rid of him for the sake of the town'. Everywhere he went, he brought destruction, he surely would've attacked the town if you hadn't killed him. While sparing Jackson from a dangerous threat, you also put an end to a vendetta you didn't know existed until then.

You didn't feel good, much as you were relieved that he wasn't going to be a trouble for the town and you anymore, it didn't feel good at all. Like you'd said before, he had ruined you.

Even though you were going to get married, the weight of that day still pulled you down from time to time. Days grew shorter and nights turned longer, but without being able to help around town to busy yourself, you thought too much about it. Joel noticed this of course and did everything you asked of him: From asking him to stay in occasionally, to giving you some space.

You knew Joel was scared when you pushed him away, which was on very rare occasions. He was scared that you wouldn't want to marry him, or worse, do something stupid. But, you needed him more than ever. It never crossed your mind once, to cancel the wedding and move back to your house. You loved him and nothing changed that: That's what you had told him too, with a genuine smile.

"I hate it when I don't have you around," You'd admitted two weeks before the wedding day, cupping his cheek. "I hate it so much when I push you away and- and seeing you upset because of it- but I wouldn't do it if I didn't need it."

"I know Dolly," He kissed the inside of your hand which was cupping his cheek.

"I love you, Joel," You grinned as he peppered kisses across your knuckles. "And I'm not planning on not marrying you. It's gonna take something real awful for me to not marry you."

You hadn't seen him smile this big ever since you replied yes to his proposal, he then chuckled: "Lord, you even started to talk like me."

Nothing that scared Joel happened. On the same day you shared your first kiss, you got married; Tommy was right too, the winter was taking it's toll on the townsfolk and they needed something that would take their minds off of things. Despite a few figures you weren't exactly fond of but had no actual beef with, it all went accordingly.

They got the both of you as pretty as you could get in the middle of an apocalypse. In Jackson, there were a variety of resources of pretty much everything - wedding dresses weren't one of them. You were dressed more like you were going to a cocktail and you felt a little embarrassed, Joel's situation was no different.

"This is ridiculous," He complained. "Last I checked, I didn't gotta shave for a wedding- it's not a rule or anythin'."

"Well..." Maria insisted as she fixed up your hair.

"Darlin', you want me to shave?" Joel abruptly turned to you, a brilliant smirk creeping up his face.

"No honey," You smiled sweetly, a little exaggerated to tease Maria. You agreed that this whole dress up was ridiculous as well. "I love your beard- don't ever shave it in fact."

"Ugh, you two are infuriating," Maria sighed, defeated.

"Perfect match," Tommy agreed as he snickered from the doorway.

"It's December, snowing outside- cold as fuck and you want me to wear a dress." You groaned.

"Don't you make the sweetest bride, Dolly..."

"Shut up Tommy."

Most of the town was there, except for the people in the infirmary and the people who were assigned for patrols. You and Joel were placed on a table away from most people, creating enough distance to make space for a not-as-big-as-Maria-liked kind of dance floor. The speakers were set, lights were up and the cozy atmosphere mostly eased your stress. You kept getting the feeling that something bad was going to happen, because surely this was too good to be true: You couldn't afford to have good things for too long, something terrible ought to happen-

"Hey," You suddenly felt Joel's hand envelop yours in his. "Will you relax?" Your forced smile, which was mostly you pursing your lips, didn't convince him; he leaned in a little and whispered softly: "If this gets too boring and you promise to at least act like you're having a good time, maybe I'll help you relax..."

His tone sent a shiver down your spine. You loved it when he suggested a quickie or talked dirty to you in public, soft promises of how he wanted to bite the insides of your thighs before diving his tongue into your depths - a teaser of what you were going to get as soon as you were alone.

Just before you could say anything, a familiar redhead with a brunette by his side appeared by your table, making the both of you tense up: "Hey, you two..."

"Hey Bruce," You forced an awkward smile. "Walt..."

Bruce was a small figure, comparing to the other patrol leaders- especially next to Walt. He had jet black hair, big eyes matching the colour of his hair and an oval face. He was always clean-shaven, which made him look a whole lot younger than he was. Him and Walt were really good friends, that's why you assumed he didn't like you too much, given your history of ups and downs with the redhead... Too loyal of a friend, if you said so yourself, but you didn't care.

"Don't you look handsome," You heard Bruce comment, looking at Joel, making you look between him, your husband and Walt. For a moment you thought he was joking, but the suggestive tone in his voice made you raise a brow.

"Uhm... thanks?" Joel replied awkwardly, a little confused because he looked exactly the same, the only difference was he was wearing something that resembled a suit. "It's nothing new though..."

Walt was giving Bruce a look too, which the man in question noticed and immediately spoke: "I mean, it's hard to see you two in anything other than pants and a t-shirt... You both look different, I mean-"

"Yeah, it's nice for a change," Walt immediately interrupted. "We just wanted to say congratulations."

"Thanks," You offered a soft smile and a long blink in acknowledgement. Just then, someone called for Robert and he left with a sincere smile. "Is he okay? He looked nervous."

"Yeah, he's a lil' on edge, dunno why," Walt scratched the back of his neck, although his face indicated that he knew exactly why. "Anyways," He cleared his throat and turned to your husband. "I wanted to say that, I know we got off on the wrong foot Joel and, I also know that we haven't been on very good terms," He looked between the both of you. "But I just want to you both to know that I'm very happy for y'all... I- I hope-"

"Joel!" Ellie suddenly appeared, to the left where he sat. "You need to come with me, don't ask why."

"Uh-?" Before he could even process, Ellie was tugging him by the arm and off the chair. He gave a look to Walt: "'scuse me."

You both gave Joel a quizzical look as Ellie dragged him away. Walt chuckled lightly, scratched the back of his neck once more and politely asked: "You mind if I sit here?" There was a chair by your side where Maria was supposed to sit when she announced you as married. You nodded and turned to the right as he sat towards the edge: "Look, (Y/N), I know we couldn't talk properly after what happened to you... I came to visit but, well, Joel has a way of putting me on spot."

You chuckled and nodded: "Yeah, I heard. It's okay though, I appreciate it."

"He said you would..." He grinned shyly. "You really love him, huh? 'Cause you sure as hell have him wrapped around your finger."

Your smile grew wider and you nodded: "Yeah, I do. I- I'd tell you more but I don't really wanna cry on my wedding day," Your voice cracked a little. "As best as I can, anyway. I'm too overwhelmed with- everything, y'know?"

"I can guess," He laughed, a bit more comfortable now that he was sure you weren't hostile towards him. "You know I'm... I'm really glad you're- I- ah, I'm very happy for you. Sincerely. You two are just... perfect for each other."

"Oh shush," You looked up and blinked several times. "I'm glad makeup doesn't exist anymore!" He laughed a little more, his dimples showing themselves under his red beard. "Hey... thank you, though. Let's uh- let the past stay in the past, yeah?"

Walt looked at you in surprise for a moment, then finally processed what you said: "Oh, s-sure, definitely. Those awkward chats were killing me..."

"Yeah," You smiled apologetically. You had to talk sooner or later, you sometimes got paired up for patrol and you had to interact to make everything work. Slowly, it turned into casual 'how are you's, but stayed that way until the wedding day.

You smiled at each other for a moment, then he finally nodded and got up: "Congrats, again. You two make a good couple. A power couple, in fact."

"Okay okay," You giggled and shooed him away with your hand. You watched him walk back to his table: The fact that he seemed to have gotten over you was a delight. Just then, Joel appeared and sat by your side, taking a seat beside you.

"You two good, then?" He asked with a netural expression.

"Yeah, you two, too," You smiled at him. He looked unimpressed, so you gently placed a hand on his thigh: "He was genuinely happy for us, Joel, relax..." Then, at your own words, you smirked devilishly, giving his thigh a squeeze. "If you act like you're happy about it, maybe I'll help you relax~"

He gasped when your fingertips brushed against his crotch lightly, the both of you gazing at each other's lips then simultaneously making eye contact: "I need to relax," Joel growls. "Now."

Your eyes widened at his tone of his voice, giving him a big, excited smile; only to be interrupted by none other than Tommy, who probably knew what you two were planning. He was holding a microphone in his hand, he walked up and into the space between where you and your husband sat: "Right... Today's a good day, folks." Almost everyone directed their attention to where the three of you were: "It's been around two and a half years since my big brother showed up at our door with Ellie and a lovely lady- none other than our (Y/N)... I say it was about goddamn time they got married." Tommy snickered and made the people laugh. "No really, I remember the day I met her," He turned to you: "She had a knife against Eugene's throat and we were only a second away from killing each other-"

"I forgive you!" Eugene suddenly called out to you across the room and you hid your face with both of your hands as the people continued laughing.

"Something fierce, she was- still is!" Tommy continued. "Don't make no mistake about that... She'll tear the whole country down to do what's right." He smiled at you sincerely: "I've spent most of my life with Joel and I've only known her for around two years but, I can confidently say that these two were made for each other."

You and Joel shared a look: No one in town had seen you smile this big- ever, you thought. Even Joel, who had seen your smiles countless times, was looking at you as if he'd seen you smile for the first time and he was falling in love with you again. Tommy's words meant the world to you: You had no family left and Joel only had his younger brother, and you had his only family's blessing. He'd seen the best and worst in both of you, knew what Joel had gone through all those years ago and he still claimed you as the perfect match for Joel. The realisation hit like a tidal wave and your eyes filled with tears. Chuckling, you spoke: "Okay, enough."

That earned another round of aww's and laughter. You looked at Ellie for a moment and saw the content spread across her face - despite the growing awkwardness between her and Joel, she still cared about him deeply. The look on her face even gave you some sort of hope that, whatever was going on between them was going to get solved soon. Everything felt so perfect and normal for a moment.

"Yup, now, y'all gotta dance," Tommy smirked.

Joel didn't look too pleased, being the centre of attention while doing such a simple yet special thing with you. You Have Been Loved started playing suddenly and your eyes shone brightly, then he led you to the makeshift dance floor. You pressed your chest against his lightly and your hands met behind his neck, while he repeated the motion around your waist. You slowly started to sway to the rhythm and he watched you fondly.

"I love this song," You muttered and looked into his eyes, beaming up at him.

"I know," He grinned.

A minute or two passed, then Tommy appeared with a video camera in his hands: "Here are the lovebirds..." You both smiled at the camera with such genuineness that even Tommy felt your shared happiness, even more so when he captured the moment with a camera. "Don't tire her out too much, big brother. It's my turn after you."

You giggled at his comment and Joel raised a brow at him: "Why is everyone so appreciative of my wife all of a sudden? At our wedding?"

"It's the dress," You bit your lip and smirked.

"Tsk," Joel looked elsewhere with a chuckle and it gave you an opportunity to kiss his cheek, then place your chin on his shoulder. He welcomed your body gently into his embrace and wrapped his arms even more around your waist, while you connected yours around his shoulders.

"Shoo, Tommy, let us dance in peace," You waved your hand in a go away motion and he did as you asked.

Now it was just you and Joel.

If I was weak, forgive me

But I was terrified

You brushed my eyes with angels wings, full of love

The kind that makes devils cry

So these days

My life has changed

And I'll be fine

But she just sits and counts the hours

Searching for her crime

Many songs played and other couples took you and your husband's place on the dance floor not so long after. Tommy kept his word and danced with you to a short song, where he expressed how grateful he was for you. He deeply cared for Joel, definitely more than he led on and that's when he told you once more that you were good for the older Miller- that you completed him. A picture of you two was taken right after he had said: "Welcome to the family- officially."

A few more songs later, it was Jesse who asked for a dance, much to everyone's amusement.

"If you're trying to make me go easier on you on training days, it's not gonna work Jesse," You smiled at him.

"No ma'am," He spoke seriously, then gave you a silly grin. "Not even a little?"

"Don't push your luck, rookie."

"Are you trying to make a move on my wife, son?" Joel growled, messing with him. Jesse however didn't understand that Joel was just joking, so you both laughed at the poor boy's tense expression.

"C'mon then," You got up from your seat, actually feeling a little tired already, then patted a red-faced Jesse on the shoulder. He'd grown quite tall over the years: He reached and maybe became a little taller than Joel.

You were Jesse's mentor ever since you started taking up patrol duty and training. He had moved to Jackson with his parents only a few months before you had. Being trained in the army and serving for almost 20 years, you were in charge of training new comers and teens who wanted to sign up - Jesse and Dina were assigned to you at first, until Dina switched to Eugene some months ago.

Jesse was enthusiastic about training and he was still very young, which helped him progress better. On a side note, his parents were lovely. Dina would occasionally tease that he had a crush on you, like a silly little teacher crush, then she'd joke about how she was jealous of you because he never admired her like he did you. You'd just smile, feeling like your age and tell Joel about it later.

You loved both of them as if they were your own, while being reminded of the kids in the prepatory school back in the Boston QZ. Guilt occasionally gnawed at your insides whenever the thought lingered too long on your mind. You really wished you could break them out and bring them here, give them the life and childhood they deserved. You kept telling yourself, like Joel, that there was nothing you could do about them, but still...

That was how fate worked, you supposed. If you hadn't been ambushed and Alpha One had survived, you may have never met Joel and Ellie, arrive in Jackson and, most importantly, you wouldn't be sitting across Joel when he took you as his wife.

Perhaps, there was no way- no alternative scenario about bringing your family to this safe haven. To have them sit there amongst the crowd and cheer you as you kissed your husband after his sister-in-law announced you married. Oh, how badly you wanted them by your side that day: Kurt sending death threats to Joel if he ever broke your heart (jokingly, of course), Maxim and Amanda encouraging you, Robin and Cole trying to tell embarrassing stories of your younger years...

Felicity and you having a talk.

Felicity.

She'd be the one to style your hair (maybe Robin too), fit you in your dress and of course, the first person to hear about the good news. She'd take your hands in hers, smile at you, then hug you.

You'd give anything to hear her voice again, to have her talk to you- even just for five minutes.

Nevertheless, you were still grateful for the new life that was given to you by the man who held your hand and smiled as you spoke to the microphone: Alright folks, thank you for coming... Training starts early tomorrow, so get some sleep! A new chance, given to you by the man made love to you in the following hours and who now slept next to you peacefully. The man, who introduced you to a new family and gave you hope that, in these times you lived in, there was still love and humanity left.

You studied Joel's relaxed features as the sun slowly crawled up the horizon. He was sleeping facedown, muscular arms partly under his pillow and face turned to you as he breathed through his nose slowly; his naked body disappeared under the thick blanket, meeting yours.

The alarm on your side of the bed went off minutes later, waking him as it did. He met your half lidded gaze with his own and mumbled something that resembled a good morning. You smiled and whispered it back, then watched his eyes close again. Your smile grew wider instinctively, then you tapped his right arm (the arm on your side) gently. He immediately turned his body towards you in the bed and opened his arms for you: "Ten minutes at most."

He nodded sleepily as you pushed yourself into his warm, naked embrace, placing yourself against his body, head right below his chin. Your arms found themselves on his waist and you sighed contentedly, placing a kiss on his collarbone.

Perfect. That's how everything was when he was involved.

As you stayed in his embrace, your eyelids automatically pushed themselves down. Inhaling his scent and listening to his heartbeat, you thought to yourself before dozing off:

Huh. Maybe it really was meant to be.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfiction #tlou x reader #tlou fanfic #tlou imagine #tlou fanfiction

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aliaslua · 3 years

Text

Right to live

Chapter 02 of my on going series: In broad daylight

Chapter summary: Michelangelo has a productive therapy session after his interview. April and Casey announce their wedding and in a jealousy crisis, Donatello has his first one-night-stand. Warning: This chapter contain light smut (mature, not explicit) if you're a minor please DON'T INTERACT. TW: Trauma mention (nothing too graphic or descriptive, but it does contain a short account of a panic attack).

Michelangelo started therapy after his first panic attack.

It was - maybe - the worst night of his life. At that point in time he didn’t even knew what a trigger was - and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to identify or anticipate his reaction. If felt like he was dying in a literal, visceral sense. It was like having a bomb growing inside his shell, the beating counting down to a heart attack, he felt his lips cold, his head heavy and the touch of Donatello’s hand in his shoulders felt cold against his skin for the first time in his life. He could still remembers his brothers calling to him and his inhuman effort to look them in the eyes, just as he gazed into the house he grew up in and didn’t recognize the color of the new floor tiles.

The rest was a blur.

Dr. Miller was April’s last effort to persuade Leo and Raph that Mikey needed professional counseling. At this point, Mikey didn't have enough will to have a strong opinion on his treatment, he didn't have the will to do anything, really. All his days were spent sleeping by day and having terrible night anxiety, followed by an earth-shattering cry until morning, when he went back to sleep. Despite their best effort to care for and protect the younger sibling, all of his brothers knew that he had become impossible to handle - and more important than that, his emotional and physical dependency got so intense that it was perfectly clear that there was nothing they could do: Michelangelo need help, professional help.

On the first day they entered Dr. Miller’s office, April had reassured everybody she had send the therapist recent photos of Mikey and explained all his possible triggers in detail. The clinic would open two hours early so that they could have privacy and that this first encounter would include Mikey, his brothers and Sara Miller only.

Mikey was so nervous he felt like this situation alone would end up triggering his next attack: his hands were sweaty, his chest heavy and the feeling in his stomach made him realize that maybe he would throw up all those recent pizza slices. When the door to her office opened, he felt an immediate relief upon looking at her.

Sara (as he would start calling her later) was a 67 years old black woman, wearing a knitted cardigan and a puffy ponytail. She looked at him with eyes free from any king of judgment: any kind of feeling at all, actually, it was very… neutral. After gazing at him and his brothers she had smiled lightly and then calmly said:

"Good morning. I am Dr. Miller. Are you Michelangelo?" Mikey just nodded " Welcome. Please, come in.”

So he did, on that Monday morning and all the next yet to come, for two years straight.

━━━━━━ • ✿ • ━━━━━━

“Did you see the interview?” Mikey asked just as he entered her office, not even worrying about greeting Sara.

“Yes I did.” She answered with the same peaceful deep voice, unbothered by the absence of a greet “You looked very handsome.”

“I sure did!” The mutant turtle seated at the large red sofa, his body melting in the comfortable cushions, he grabbed one of the small pillows behind him and held it tight against his chest “Ugh! It was so fun!”

Sara smiled. She always gave him a kind of smile that made Mikey feel like she was the perfect embodiment of a fairytale grandma and for the first time, Michelangelo actually considered she might actually be someone else’s grandmother.

“I am glad to hear that. Did you do the exercises he practiced?”

Mikey hummed “It helped. But what really made all difference was that Leo was there. And April. Oh, April is getting married!” He announced “She and Casey told us about the engagement just after we all saw the interview air. It was a great night.” He stopped for a minute and laid his head against the couch, focusing on the abstract painting that always caught his attention since the first day he sat there, he knew his voice let out a sadness he was trying to hide. He didn’t need to pretend there.

“It was… Weird, I guess… Like, I should be happy for them, right? Casey is a nice man, he treats her right, they already have a life together, an apartment with a huge TV and an aquarium… I can’t argue with that, right? Right?” Sara didn’t answer, Michelangelo laid his head completely on the couch, staring at the sealing “She was my first love…. Or something like it. I feel so attached to her and…” He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, trying to measure all the feelings filling his chest “...I think I… Should I feel happy for her? Because I felt… Huh, I felt betrayed.”

“Do you feel resentment?” Dr. Miller finally asked, gazing calmly at him.

“Yeah, I guess… I didn’t know what I expected... and I don’t want to marry April. Not anymore, I mean. She is like a sister to me. No! It’s more than that… She’s like… I- It just.. it was all so fast! Everything is so fast right now, and she decided to announce just as the interview ended and I felt so… I felt so overshadowed!”

“You felt it was your night.”

“It WAS my night. And I don’t mean to sound selfish, you know? I just… Wished they had waited.”

Sara looked at her patient making a conscious effort to avoid giving away her own feelings, the enormous man in front her had a gloomy expression and tired eyes.

“Mikey, is not the first time you mention feeling like this.”

“Like what?”

“ Overshadowed .” She quoted him.

“Yeah… I guess it's something I’ve been feeling for a while.”

“You mentioned once that you felt… Smushed, is the word you used.”

“Yeah. Smushed between my brothers.”

“Hmm” Sara nodded “What about that?”

“Well, you know about that… They are all special in their own way. Leo is the leader, Raph is the muscle, Donnie is the genius, I am the… Comic relief?”

“You sound like you are all characters of a cartoon.”

“We look like it!” Mikey said, humorous. Sara did her best to contain a tiny smile that formed in her cheeks.

“Well, you are your own person, Mikey. You don’t have to fulfill an imaginary role you fantasized for yourself.”

“Yeah I feel like you’re always telling me that.” He sighed “What this has to do with April?”

“You were telling me about her engagement…”

“Yeah. It was crazy… I mean, me, Leo and Raph kept it together but Donnie just… Bolted.” A nervous laugh escaped him “She told the news and he just… Left. I guess it was too much for him. You know, April was the only person we knew for so long… It was only natural to fall for her, right? She’s so nice, kind, and after the expected first meeting shock she treated us with… Dignity is the world Master Splinter likes to use... But then we all grew out of it.”

A long silence followed before he complemented:

“I guess Donnie didn’t”

━━━━━━ • ✿ • ━━━━━━

Donatello felt his feet too tight against the leather shoe and considered for the third time on that evening that maybe this was a terrible idea.

Ignoring his own better judgement, he knocked.

Alicia Ellis awakened in him two utterly contradictory and madding feelings: disgust and lust.

Many times he had tried - and succeeded- at disguising the amount of attention he paid to her body, especially since the context they first met didn’t allowed for flirtatious endeavors and despite knowing his physical body was searching it’s hormonal peak, Donatello proud himself on being utterly respectful: an effort that he felt he was making alone. Ellis never even tried to hide her indiscreet wants, playing with their encounters just enough to not be considered harassment, but clear enough to not allow ambiguity. Was that even possible? Donnie asked himself. Did it even matter now?

He felt disgusted mostly towards himself, actually, knowing full well why he had come to her apartment after that eventful night, just as the women he thought he could win over announced her engagement to the man he honestly felt he could one day surpass - pathetic, he beat himself again, cringing at the mere fact he once imagined a possible future for them, together. What a pathetic, emotional, delusional monster you are, dreaming about the pretty girl that once held your hand… And now you surrender to your most selfish desire, luring this woman who will be stupid enough to let you in.

This is going to ruin you. Was the last thing he thought before she opened the door.

She was astonishingly beautiful, with her thick luxurious wavy hair and round plump figure, pressed against a tight outfit he didn’t have enough interest to notice in detail.

“Took you long enough.” She said in a malicious tone, grabbing him by his belt. The apartment was warm, had a delicious floral smell and it was lit in subtle yellow light that mimicked candles. It was sexy, inviting and terribly scary, just like her.

This is going to ruin me . The feeling echoed towards Donnie as he willfully closed the door behind him.

It wasn’t hard for him to understand why a woman like her would take interest in being with a man like him, the internet had allowed Donnie to have a very indiscreet access to the human world - especially since people seemed really comfortable in sharing online things they wouldn’t even tell a best friend - and he knew way before they even came out to the surface that most probably wouldn’t be difficult to find someone willing to share a bed with him. Alicia was just a part of a very niche - yet not so small as one may think - group.

The thought brought him a small relief and a strike of courage that he much needed at that moment.

“I didn’t think you would come.” She said, bringing two glasses of a clear-yellow liquid. What an inappropriate move to bring a glass of white wine to a young adult not-yet-of-age , his better judgment told him as he accepted the glass, but wasn’t he 21 yet? Yes, he was... Maybe it was just judgment.

“Me neither” He answered after a sigh, too honest for his own sake.

“What changed your mind?” She mischievously asked, crossing her legs in an angle that brushed against his knee.

Donatello considered for a minute to said the truth, my heart was broken and honestly I really want to have sex, how would she respond to that? Was there a polite way of saying it? Instead, he said: “I’ve decided to change my approach on things.”

“Oh, really?” She smiled honestly “...And how’s that gonna happen?”

I will take every opportunity that life gives me, irrespective of its consequences, “I’ll stop sabotaging my wants…” He turned his body a little bit in her direction, he had planned a second sentence to follow but it seemed like he had already said all she needed to hear.

She slid her knee between his legs to climb his lap, brushing the space between the buttons of his shirt lightly. How quickly she hopped on top of him and how quickly his body responded to the feel of her warm perfumed breath against his neck. “That’s great to hear.”

It wasn’t Donatello’s first kiss but the tension of feeling the soft lips of a woman he barely knew nothing about added to the oh-so-suggestive friction of her thighs against his zipper made it an entirely new experience. If he granted himself a moment of reason, Donnie would most likely find her too hurried and eager - but again, what was his experience in this field? Wasn’t this how the encounter should go? What else was he expecting? Independent of what his reason may have considered, the friction of her palms against the now prominent bulge in his pants added to the delicious sounds coming from her throat made every single indecision go away.

He felt his head light and dizzy as their tongues danced against each other and the urge to feel relief made him bold. She answered the squeeze he gave her bottom with an audible moan that gave Donatello’s stomach a cold wave of shock along with the first visible stain in between his paints. She felt the thickness of his fluid against the fabric and smiled against his lips.

“Such a passionate… response.” She said in what sounded like a performative tone - well, she was a journalist.

He took her incentive and slide her tube dress above her ass, stoking it as he lowered his lips to her neck. Her skin was soft and the way it reacted to his mouth - the small flinches of her body and the building pressure between his legs could only compare to the amazing feeling of her silk soft thigh skin. She used her hands to guide his head further down, lowering the piece of garment herself, he instinctively took one of her nipples in his mouth, enjoying the contrast between the soft skin of her breasts and the beaded texture of her nipples.

When Alicia laid her body against him on the couch, he followed her moves and felt the soft pillow against his head, the discreet but unmistakable sound of his zipper being opened followed by her stocked gasp at his member followed by “Oh I’m gonna have fun tonight!”. Donatello held her waist closer to his own, trying to reach her lips again, wondering if he could say the same. The warmth between her legs and the delicious feeling that jolted through his body and she aligned him to her entry - and the irresistible pleasure of feeling his tip tease her plump lips - made him think that the most likely answer was yes .

...And what an unnecessary concern the wine proved to be: he didn’t even get to drink it.

━━━━━━ • ✿ • ━━━━━━

“...you know, Raph made a friend.” Mikey had stood on his feet and now looked through the squared window. He had a regular habit of standing up during the sessions, usually as they were reaching the middle of the appointment. Sara it wrote down anyway, before adding:

“Really?”

Mikey hummed “...It’s a complicated story - but he left to buy a bear, this old man didn’t want to sell it to him, so he got really angry, so someone threatened to call the police, so he started to freak out and then this… girl appeared!” He was switching his body height between his legs “Clara. What a name! Heh- I don’t get to say that, huh? Well, her name was Clara and he said she looked like an anime version of a character from Fresh prince of bel air … Can you imagine?” He turned to look at her. Sara just nodded.

“Wanna hear some really crazy stuff? Raph told me that they were talking and she told him she saw my interview… and she said she was in love with me!” He offered his therapist an incredulous happy smile “ME! Can you believe it?”

Sara hummed and made another note.

“I know she was kidding, I don’t think she loves me. But saying it like this sounds like… Like I am a celebrity! Like she would like to know me… Like…”

“Like you have been seen.”

“HELL YEAH!” He exclaimed, sitting down on the couch again grabbing his trust-worthy pillow “... And that sucker didn’t even got her number…” A deep sigh followed silence. Very discreetly, Dr. Miller checked her watch.

“It doesn’t matter, really, it just made me realize… That I wished I had someone…”

More silence.

“-I know I already have someone, if that's what you’re gonna say… I know my brothers are my care net and that I have friends and confidants, and bla bla bla”.

“Well I wasn’t going to…” She said peacefully.

“ I want… A lover . Someone to be my special one. Someone to cherish and spoil and share my life with! Someone who can say they’re in love with me… For real.”

More deep silence.

“... And why don’t you?” She finally prompted. Michelangelo turned to look at her with a impatient expression:

“Are you kiddin’ me?”

“I am definitely not.”

“You can’t be that cynical!”

“I am not.”

“Sara…” He sighed uneasily “... not this again.” she heard pain in his words.

“You have the right to live, Mikey.” She gazed at him with the same kind eyes, letting her strong words get to him “...Just like anyone else.”

This time, that was an anxious silence. Michelangelo rubbed his hands together as if he was facing a cold storm “What if it happens again?”

“Then you will do what we practiced.” She waited for an answer that didn’t come “... Do you wanna remember it once again with me?”

He simply nodded.

“I am more…” She started.

“...than people perceive me.”

“I’ve the right…”

“...to occupy space.”

“No one…”

“No one can deny me my right to live.”

“That was great, Mikey.” Dr. Miller said kindly.

He squeezed the tears away from his eyes, not even realizing they were there. “...Yeah… Yeah, it was.”

━━━━━━ • ✿ • ━━━━━━

It was certainly.... Memorable , Donatello thought, staring at his brand new shoes as they made the path back to the lair. How was it again that he found himself in that situation? That sad looking, empty feeling, walk-of-shame. Oh, yeah, Alicia Ellis.

Something felt terrible wrong about that whole endeavor. He tried to think about the details, to analyze the facts: it has been clearly consensual, sober, communicative sex. So why did he feel like some part of him had been left behind in that apartment? Was it his clear shyness when they finally consumed the act or her generous overlook at his even clearer lack of experience? Had him fail his mission? Factually not! He performed… Fine - it was hard to measure, but she seemed pleased enough. He was also pleased… Physically, at least.

So why did he feel so… Empty?

He walked among the streets of New York without the concern his older brother seemed to carry. Donatello was always really good at not carrying - just as he was good at carrying too much . Oh, yes, his overthinking nature was still going to kill him, no matter how hard he tried to pretend like it didn’t matter at all.

Nothing mattered, everything mattered. What a contradictory and childish state of mind. Could he ever find balance? Would he ever be able to take risks and still be prudent? To be disappointed and not lose all faith? To love deeply and move over from it, stronger and ready to love again? Did he ever truly love her ?

He remembered her ring shining against the light, mocking his defeat. A zirconium, Casey Jones… Can’t even buy her a real diamond . He muttered to himself and the night, kicking a small rock in the path.

The worst part, the real strike of the devil - was the fact that she looked immensely happy. Heartbreakingly happy. And there was nothing, nothing in this world that Donnie could think that could justify taking this away from her - not even the fantasy that she could be happier.

He took a deep breath and grabbed the keys in his pocket. That was no way out of it: we would have to get over her. At least now he knew that running away to unknown women’s homes was not a viable solution.

#TMNT #TMNT Michelangelo #TMNT Donatello #TMNT Bayverse #tmnt smut #tmnt fanfic #in broad daylight #it took so long but I am really proud #the response to the first chapter was been lukewarm but I am happy with it anyway #mikey is my baby

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obeymefictionwriting · 3 years

Note

I've seen so many requests for the brothers reacting to a really pretty or drop dead gorgeous MC, but can I request HC for the brothers + Simeon reacting to an MC that could be described as looking similar to ugly Betty? Like first impressions and what changes after they get to know them? MC isn't insecure about their looks or themselves, they're indifferent to how they look and don't see why others would care so much about what they look like when they don't care about it themselves

The ugly Betty is literally my style and I love it soooo much, I tried so hard for the longest time to find my own style and when I did I was so happy. When I was in high school I was talking to some friends and I described my style to them as "Ugly Betty meets dark academia" (since HS I have refined to look so it's actually pretty solid now) and in like a year later when a friend turned into a bully she got some of her new friends and her boyfriends' friends to harass me by calling me ugly Betty, its not something that bothered me or that I took too much to heart but it was annoying 🙄 anyway... I digress

I've loved reading what you've written, I have literally spent my afternoon reading over your writing and I'm like 🥺💕

Hi! I absolutely love your idea and I think it will be really encouraging for many people out there. Thank you for leaving the request and here we go!

P.S. Turned out to be a long-read - sorry! :D

Lucifer

“Well, I wouldn’t expect much of a human anyway”.

Can’t help but looks at you with disdain (”Why are humans so pathetic?”)

Despite that, really takes control over his feelings. You are a guest, after all, and Diavolo wants you to be taken care of.

Snaps at his brothers if they try to act in an inappropriate way.

Just hopes you will survive this year.

Admires your confidence though.

Turning point: sees you not running away when facing some creepy demon at school (he step in, of course, but still!)

Starts paying more attention to you. Realizes there is more to you than your looks.

Apparently, you turn out to be quite smart. And witty.

“Maybe humans are not that bad”.

Finds himself enjoying your company and actually relaxing in your presence.

Mammon

“OH NOOOOOOO”

Whines about his duty of looking after you FOR AGES.

Can’t understand why Lucifer chose you. Like, are all humans these mediocre?

Oh and apparently, you are completely dumb too because you aint’t afraid of him.

Secretly evaluates what he can steal from you in order to sell it.

Turning point: you help him with his homework and do not tell Lucifer about him skipping a class.

Hey, you aint so bad!

You are even pretty. Well, no, that’s not what he meant. It’s just... Ugh whatever!

Secretly observes you. Turns out you are thoughtful, helpful and kind.

And you don’t call him moron like his brothers do.

In fact, you might need some protection. There are all sorts of creeps at school. And who but the Great Mammon can protect ya!

Leviathan

Another normie in his house.

Really wishes you were a cute anime girl. Is disappointed and always annoyed in your presence.

Doesn’t consider it worthy to talk to you. What can you possibly offer him? You don’t even know about TLS.

Tries to avoid being in the same room with you. He already saw you starting a convo with his brothers and he doesn’t want to be next.

Turning point: sees you reading some manga series in the library.

There is hope for you.

Maybe you will be interested in TLS...

Has no idea how to approach you.

Is a bit scared by your confidence so shuts in even more.

Is annoyed at how cheerful you are with his brothers. Secretly wishes to be among them.

Satan

Just accepts your presence. If he can’t change it, why worry?

Considers you a funny pet.

Secretly agrees with Lucifer about humans being pathetic.

Sometimes he secretly observes you and tries to understand why you won’t change the way you look. Aren’t humans supposed to want to look gorgeous?

Compares you to the witches he knows.

Turning point: observes you while you read in the dining room. Is fascinated by how interested and involved you are.

Starts paying more attention to you and starts the conversations first.

Finds out you have similar taste in books. How very interesting.

Starts looking at you differently. In fact, you are quite cute.

Is entertained and intrigued by your confidence. Wants to test it.

Asmodeus

Well... maybe you are a good person?

Never had high expectations because humans are well, not demons! Though he knew some truly outstanding humans but you are definitely not one of them.

Is supportive and empathetic though: understands it must be tough for you to live in a different world. Plus you are so...un-pretty.

Really wants to suggest a make over but doesn’t want to force it.

Turning point: sees you laughing and is fascinated by how beautiful you look at the moment.

Oh wow there is more to this human than he thought!

Now he is INTERESTED

Boldly approaches you and suggests help with your makeup and hair and skin. Winks and offers massage too.

Finds your rejection entertaining. He wants you now!

Beelzebub

Is disappointed because Lucifer does not allow to eat you.

You smell really good. And you don’t look so good. Why can’t he just eat you?

Tries avoiding you in order to avoid the temptation.

Is a bit surprised you are not scared of him or of other demons.

Kind of watches you in school. Lucifer ordered to protect you and he does his best but from the distance.

Turning point: you shared your food and suggested you cook something for him.

Are you really so kind?!

Oh and you can cook. Wow.

And you are not annoyed by his appetite.

Goes into full protective mode. You may not be the best-looking human but you are his human now.

Belphegor

Doesn’t care so much it hurts.

Doesn’t even bother to talk to you. Why would he?

Secretly hoped you’d be beautiful but you are so average there is nothing to look at. Boring.

Pulls little dirty tricks on you just to annoy you (and Lucifer!).

Turning point: sees you in the observatory gazing at stars. There is something in your eyes he is drawn to.

Studies you when you don’t see it. Memorizes your habits and preferences.

Stops being mean to you.

Falls asleep on your lap on purpose.

Finds you comfortable to be used as a sleeping pillow but does not admit it.

Solomon

Another human? Interesting.

Oh. Not so interesting anymore.

Wonders why would Lucifer choose you? You are just so average compared to him.

Was a popular boy so is used to ignoring people like you.

Feels superior and does not hide it.

Turning point: sees you interacting with brothers and how they enjoy your company.

There might be something else to this human.

Starts observing you. Realizes you are way more complex than he thought.

Hates to admit it but you are quite charming.

Has a strange feeling when sees you surrounded by the brothers. Would never admit it.

#obeyme #obey me! shall we date?

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bitchloveskcbaseball · 3 years

Text

Tripping Over Myself

Pairing: Logan x OC (Charlotte Wheeler)

Summary: Charlotte’s not the best at communicating and it gets her in a bit of trouble. (takes place shortly after Drawn to a Flame)

Warnings: Language. Lots and lots of language. Seriously...so many f-words. lol Also, mentions of her previous car accident (it’s not super detailed, but it is brought up a few times) and her resulting injuries.

Word Count: 5525. I swear ... I was certain this was going to be nothing more than maybe 2k words. And then this happened and the thing that I wanted to happen in this fic didn’t even happen so that’s fun lol

Logan belongs to Pixelberry, but the other two lovelies are all mine.

A/N #1: This was written for @rodappreciationweek MC day. And sticking with the theme from the first two pieces in this series, I have pulled the title from the lyrics of Shawn Mendes’s Stitches.

Also... a huge huge thank you to @burnsoslow for reading a piece of this that had me chasing my tail for what seemed like forever and fixing it for me. You are the best!!

“Hey hey hey! The hell you think you’re doin?”

Freezing mid step to turn back around to where Paul was glaring at her from his now-seated position where he'd rolled out from under her car on his creeper, Charlotte scrunched her nose up in confusion. “You were bitchin’ that you didn’t have your 3/8 down there. Figured I’d grab it so you’d stop muttering to yourself.”

“I had one rule for letting you stay after you showed up here today. And I made it explicitly clear.”

“But – “

“No. No buts.”

“C’mon Paul! You can’t seriously expect me to sit on that damn stool the entire time we’re here. I am fully capable of walking to the toolbox and grabbing a goddamn socket!”

“Lottie, sweetheart. You are still healing. You need to take it easy.” Instead of the calming effect she was sure he was shooting for, the soft gentleness of Paul’s voice just reminded her of an adult trying to calm a child who was in the middle of throwing a massive tantrum. And that ratcheted her mild frustration up until she was actually throwing a damn fit.

“For fuck’s sake! I know I’m fucking hurt. But I’m not a complete invalid. I don’t think me taking three fucking steps across this damn storage unit and picking up a tool that weighs a few ounces is going to do me in when a fucking slab of concrete didn’t!” Her hands flew up to steeple across her nose and mouth. “Shit. Paul – “

Gaze firmly locked on his white-knuckled grip on his wrench, Paul cut her off with a slight shake of his head. “Nah. It’s … it’s fine, sweetheart.”

In two shaky steps, Charlotte was across the unit and gingerly kneeling in front of him. Slowly, as if she were approaching a spooked cat, she eased the wrench out of his hold so she could wrap his hand in her own. “No. It’s not ‘fine.’ I … I shouldn’t have said that. I promised I’d stop acting so nonchalant about the accident.” Before he could interject, she nudged his knee with her own. “Shush, lover. I really am so incredibly sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. You’re only trying to look out for me. And I appreciate that more than I could ever say.”

Finally lifting his head from staring at the floor between them, Paul’s teary eyes met hers, twisting her heart even harder. In barely a whisper, he asked, “The hell did you have to go there for?”

Letting out a harsh sigh, Charlotte stood up and whirled around. It was a motion she instantly regretted when every thing went a little off kilter and her vision started to swim. Ugh! Not this shit again. She fought against the urge to lean against the work bench to her right, not wanting Paul to decide that she needed to be taken home: that was the last place she wanted to be at that particular moment.

“Lottie?”

Finally giving up any thoughts she'd had of blowing off his question with the pretense of being fine, she practically exploded, “Ugh. I’m just … I’m so fucking tired of all the hovering!” Her fist closed around one of the lug-nut caps that were lined up on the bench, waiting patiently for the new wheels and tires that had yet to be ordered to be installed. The urge to hurl it at the closed roll-up door was only eclipsed by the desire to not mar its mirror-like finish: finding replacements that matched the original set from L.A. was hard enough the first time and she certainly didn’t want to have to do it again because she'd briefly lost her damn mind. So she forced herself to replace it into its previous spot and let out another, albeit quieter, sigh. “Look … I love Logan, ok? Like all that head over heels, all my heart bullshit? I feel all of it for him. With him. But fuck it all. He has barely given me six inches to breathe since he showed up in my damn living room. I know it's only been a few weeks, but it has felt like years and not in a good way. I mean, I had to sneak out of my own fucking home just to come down here today!”

“Sweetheart – “

“I know. And I get it. I scared the shit out of him. Hell, I scared the shit outta both of you guys. But … “ Finally turning back around – slowly and carefully this time -- to face Paul again, she let her shoulders sag. “I can’t live with someone micromanaging every second of my day. Every move I make. I … I cannot go back to that kinda life.”

Stepping up to stand in front of her, Paul gently rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms. “Have you talked to him? Told him all this?”

She laughed bitterly. “I have tried. So many times over the past few weeks. But every time I try to bring this or anything remotely related to the accident up, he just completely shuts down on me.” Voice breaking with the tears she was fighting to hold back, she muttered, “I can’t lose him again. But I can’t keep doing this either.”

“C’mere.” Careful of her still-casted arm and still-tender ribs, he wrapped his arms around her. Instinctively she tucked her face against his neck, letting his presence soothe her. After several silent moments, he pressed a kiss to her temple and asked, “You want me to talk to him ‘bout it?”

“As much as I would love for you to do that … you can’t. I have to be the one to get through to him if this is really going to work between us.”

Tightening his hug ever-so-slightly, Paul kissed her temple again. “I’m so proud of you, Lottie.”

“For what?”

“The girl I met a lil over a year ago would never.”

Pushing back from him enough to see his face, she narrowed her eyes at him as she tried to decipher his meaning. When she came up empty, she questioned him, point blank, “The hell nonsense are you talkin’ about?”

“When you first started pestering me at the sideshows, trying to bully me into giving you a spot in one of the races. You had everything so locked down, I’m not sure a stick of dynamite would have gotten you to open up. Even after I succumbed to my still-ongoing case of Stockholm Syndrome oof – “ using her cast to knock him in the stomach may not have been her smartest idea, but it was still an effective form of retaliation – “and we started hanging out more, you kept most of your feelings tucked away in that vault. I mean, sure, you eventually let me in, little by little … but, my point is, I’m proud of you for admitting how you are feeling.”

Despite the way her eyes rolled exaggeratedly, she couldn’t keep her lips from twitching with the smile threatening to break out across her face. “Would you shut up already?”

“Only after we circle back to that bit about you sneaking out to come down here. Thought you said Logan drove you?”

“Um … how ‘bout we go back to you singing my praises?” All she got in response was a stare down from Paul, so she relented with a sigh. “Fine. I noticed Logan had dozed off, so I slipped out and called a cab to bring me down.” When his eyes went wide, she held up her free hand and quickly added, “I left him a note. I’m not the one that just vanishes without a trace.” The venom in her words caught even her by surprise.

“Maybe without a trace. But never without a conversation.”

“Ugh.” Charlotte’s head fell forward so that her forehead was resting against his chest, grumbling, “Thought you were ‘posed to be my friend and stick up for me?” He shot her a knowing look, but she continued on before he could launch into the spiel she'd already heard dozens of times before. “Fine. Ok. You win. Save the damn lecture and put the time to better use. Say … running me home?”

Laughing, Paul retorted, “Bout freakin’ time, sweetheart.”

A short time later, Paul was pulling up to the curb in front of her apartment building. Mind already running through the things that she needed to say to Logan as she reached for the door handle, she jumped when Paul’s hand came to rest lightly on her shoulder. “Don’t I even get a ‘goodbye’ or ‘thank you’ first?”

“Shit! I’m sorry! Thank you so much. For letting me hang. For forcing me to talk this shit out. For bringing my ass home.”

Chuckling indulgently, he told her, “You’re welcome. For everything.” She once again started to climb from the car, but stopped when he continued, “But, I need you to promise me that you won’t sneak out like this again.”

Chuckling indulgently, she shrugged her shoulders and opened her door before tossing back, “I would, but I don’t make promises I’m not sure I can keep.”

The glare she got in response was stern, but the effect was all but negated by the warmth in his voice as he threatened, “Fine. Lemme put it to ya this way, sweetheart. If you do it again, I’m dumping your ass. For real.”

She waited until she’d stepped out and up onto the sidewalk before she turned around to say, “It’s so adorable when you act like you could live without me, lover,” before turning to walk through the front door, blowing him a kiss from over her shoulder.

As she crossed the lobby towards the elevator bank, her eyes caught on the Out of Service sign and she let out a groan. Despite her annoyance, Charlotte didn’t blink an eye before heading for the staircase, figuring it was only a minor inconvenience. Especially since, at her last appointment, the first thing she’d asked once her doctor had mentioned that she was good to start easing back into very light physical activity was if she was okay to take the stairs to her apartment, because the ancient elevators were constantly having issues and she knew that having the freedom to move around more meant nothing if she couldn’t get in and out of her damn apartment. While he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect, he assured her that she’d be fine so long as she took it slowly and carefully. Still, she knew even with the green light from her doctor, it was going to feel like a trek after having spent so long doing little more than traversing the path between her bed and her couch.

True to her expectations, by the time she’d gotten to the second floor, she was definitely more winded than she’d usually be and her entire body was beginning to take on that achy feel of being suddenly being forced to work. But neither of those things is what had her slumping against the wall with a white-knuckled grip on the handrail. No, that was brought on by the way the world had seemingly begun to spin around her, setting her completely off balance.

What could have been five minutes or five hours later, she chanced peeking an eye open, but the vibrant mosaic tile pattern of the stairs was still swirling and swimming about in front of her, causing her to slam it back closed and drop her head back – gently – against the wall. Frustrated that the only change in how she felt was the deep churning and roiling in her gut, she finally acknowledged that she wasn’t going to be making it up the rest of the way on her own and pulled her phone from her pocket to call Logan.

Without opening her eyes, she placed her finger over the fingerprint reader, waiting for the digital clicking sound that signaled it had been unlocked, but it never came. Steeling herself for the unsettling sensations that were about to wash over her, she once again peeled an eye open and pressed the power button to wake up the screen. A loud groan escaped her when the screen remained dark, reminding her that she had forgotten to charge it the night before.

Faced with the unsettling choice of either continuing on in spite of the vertigo – which seemed risky, even by her standards – or staying in her spot for who knows how long until the episode passed, Charlotte couldn’t hold back the sobs building in the back of her throat or the tears welling in the corners of her eyes as she slid down the wall to sit on the step. All she wanted, with a desperation she hadn’t felt since those first few weeks after he'd walked away the last time in L.A., was for Logan to wrap her in his arms. To whisper all of his sweet reassurances in her ear. To be the calm and steady force that centered her through the storm.

Almost as if her longing thoughts had conjured him, he was suddenly there, hands running gently over her arms and then brushing away her tears as he rattled off question after question, not leaving her space to actually answer one before moving on to the next. It was just as well, however, considering her addled mind couldn’t seem to make any sort of sense out of the words, choosing instead to latch onto the strained breathlessness with which they were uttered.

Wanting, or rather needing, to reassure him that, while she felt awful, she was wasn’t in mortal danger, she blindly reached out until her fingers brushed against the familiar, well-worn softness of his favorite denim shirt. As she ran her fingers across what she recognized as his chest, his free hand came up to tangle gently in her hair and she sank into the touch. A beat later, his forehead was resting against hers and she couldn’t have missed the shudder that ran through his body or the shaky exhale that passed his lips if she’d tried.

Charlotte’s fingers curled around the button-lined edge of shirt and she whispered, “It’s okay baby. I’m okay,” so softly she was surprised when she felt his answering scoff fan across her face, confirming that he had actually heard her.

Instead of a snarky retort or censuring lecture she was expecting to hear, the next words out of Logan’s mouth were simply, “You good if I pick you up?”

Her eyes shot open at the almost frigid indifference in his voice and the sight in front of her knocked the wind out of her like a punch to the gut. His brows were deeply furrowed and his lips were pursed together so tightly that they were barely visible. It was one thing to know that he was worried and upset – she’d felt it in his every tentative touch -- but it was something else entirely to see it.

Wanting nothing more than to ease some of his tension, she trailed her fingers up from his chest along the side of his neck and face, across his forehead until she could smooth them along the deep-set lines running between his eyebrows. It was a left-over habit from when she’d briefly moved into his loft in L.A., one that had never failed to relax him. This time, unfortunately, it didn’t have the same effect and her heart sunk just a little bit deeper into her stomach. Feeling defeated, she let her hand, along with her gaze, drop back down to her lap as she answered his question, “Yeah. I think the dizziness is mostly gone now. So long as we take it slow, I should be fine.”

Without hesitation, Logan pulled back enough to push himself up out of his crouch and it took everything she had not to whine at the loss. Within seconds, he was leaning back down to wrap one arm around her back while the other slid underneath her knees. Instinctively, Charlotte wrapped her free arm around his neck and as soon as she did, he was standing back up and tucking her against his chest, making sure to be mindful of both the strap of the sling across her back and the bulkiness of her cast. He spared her one glance with a raised eyebrow, but immediately averted his eyes when she assured him, “I’m good.”

Despite the way that he was cradling her so carefully in his arms as he carried her up the next two flights of stairs, with what seemed like no effort at all, it felt to her as if there was an entire canyon between them. Not once did he look down at her. Not once did he even twitch as if he was thinking of dropping a kiss to the top of her head. Not once did he open his mouth as if to say something to her. Even when she had to drop her head against his shoulder as a wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her, the heavy silence remained.

As soon as they were back inside the apartment, Logan settled her gently onto the couch then turned to grab his pillow and a blanket from the pile of bedding he made each morning when he folded the pull-out away. Wordlessly, he tucked the blanket tightly around her – just the way she needs to be able to sleep alone. As he was reaching up to place the pillow beneath her head, she caught his wrist in her hand, whispering his name beneath her breath. Rather than make eye contact with her, he simply shook his head once and slipped away from her grip.

Stung by his rejection, Charlotte didn’t try to stop him again as he left the room. Instead, she curled up into as tight of a ball as she could on her good side, letting the scent of him on the pillow and blanket take over her senses until she was slowly drifting off into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

By the time that she woke up, the living room was cast in complete darkness, save for the bright green LED light letting her know her phone was finished charging. Lotta good that does me now. She blinked a few times in an effort to get her eyes to adjust to the lack of lighting, but still could barely make out the outlines of the rest of the furniture surrounding her. Even still, she knew Logan wasn’t in the room with her: she could always feel his presence when they were in the same space and that feeling was noticeably absent as she slowly pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the couch.

After giving herself a couple of minutes to make sure she wasn’t going to be dizzy again, she got up and headed towards the kitchen, figuring that would be his most likely location. Sure enough, she found him there, perched on one of the oversized chairs that in no way matched the tiny, shitty-ass excuse for a dining table that he currently had his forearms resting on. He was staring at the wall in front of him so intently that he didn’t even seem to hear her enter the room. Or, at least, that's what she was choosing to believe.

With just a couple more steps, she was able to close the distance between them, allowing her the ability to wrap arms around him from behind. She never made it that far, however, because as soon as her palms made contact with his shoulders, he startled and tensed beneath her touch. She opened her mouth to apologize for scaring him, but he cut her off before she had the chance, seething quietly, “Don’t you dare pull that fucking shit again.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t just sneak out without a word and then not answer your damned phone for five hours and expect me to be okay with it!”

“Okay, one? I left you a note telling you where I went. Two? As you clearly have already figured out, my fucking phone was dead. I didn’t even realize it until I was on my way back up here!”

Standing up from the chair so fast that he nearly knocked it – and her – over, Logan whipped around to face her, eyes wild with fury. “So one irresponsibility is just supposed to excuse another?”

Charlotte gave up all pretense of trying to stay calm, throwing her hands up in the air as she shouted, “For fuck’s sake, Logan! You knew where I was! If you were that damned desperate to get ahold of me, why didn’t you just call Paul?”

“I did. He wasn’t answering his goddamn phone either! By the time he finally did pick up, it was over half an hour after he’d dropped you off.” While he’d started off yelling at her in a volume that rivaled her own, Logan had trailed of into little more than a whisper by the time he was done. And that cut her deeper than the loudest insults ever could.

Unsure of how to respond, Charlotte reached up to fiddle with his spark plug necklace. It was something that had become a somewhat-nervous habit for her when he’d given it to her back in L.A. and she’d picked it up again once she’d begun wearing it almost constantly after their reunion. That simple, unthinking motion ended up being the answer to her loss of words, however, when the cool weight of it in her hand, combined with all the emotions running rampant through the room, sparked the memory of how she’d come to possess it in the first place.

“Logan, baby.” She paused, waiting until he looked up from the floor to meet her gaze before continuing gently, “You remember what you told me when you gave this to me?”

He raised an eyebrow at her as if asking her where she was going with this abrupt subject change. When she didn’t give him an answer, he let out a harsh sigh before replying, “Not entirely. I remember it was before the Grapevine job. Something about it keeping you safe like it did for me?”

“Yeah, that was part of it. You also told me how you came to wear it, too. How you'd survived a crash that you probably shouldn’t have.”

Rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air, Logan sniped, “Okay … so? What's the point of this random-ass trip down memory lane?”

“You told me that you’d almost died. In a car accident. Right before we were about to go steal four very expensive sport cars. And we were going to steal them off a car hauler on the freeway, no less.” As if he had suddenly figured out where she was going with this, his eyes widened before narrowing on her. He opened his mouth, but she held up her hand to stop him. “I’m not gonna lie. As much as I was so touched that you were giving me something that meant so much to you? The story behind it fucking terrified me. Because if you – who had been driving so long and had so much skill at it – could wreck like that, what chance did I have at holding up my end of the bargain? Not to mention, just the idea of you getting hurt almost sent me into a tailspin. And I’m not so sure that that wasn’t your plan all along.”

“I – “

Walking over to wrap her arm around his neck, she kissed first his cheek and then his lips briefly and tenderly. When he didn’t tense up or pull away from her, she chanced nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. “I know, baby. You were just doing whatever you could think of to keep me safe. I understand that. And I understand that the result of me being a complete dumbass during that race scared the shit out of you. But I’m still here. I’m still alive. And today’s episode notwithstanding, I’ve been feeling really good. So this whole, hovering-over-me thing? The it’s-too-dangerous-out-there-thing you’ve been doing? It’s smothering me and I … I just can’t do it. It took me far too long to escape it with Wheeler. Far too long to find the strength to realize that it was okay – more than okay – to be who I wanted to be regardless of whether the people in my life accepted it. So … as much as I hate worrying you, I cannot go back to that old, boring version of myself, the one that never really felt like me, just because it's safer.”

Logan inhaled sharply and hands tightened ever so slightly where they had been resting on her hips since she'd tucked herself into him. A couple long beats passed before he finally muttered, “You know, you seemed to have skipped over the most important part of that story, though.”

Face scrunched up, she asked, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. That wasn’t just me giving you a good luck token. That was me trying to tell you not only to make sure you’re always in control, but also to make sure you learn from life's lessons.”

“I know.”

“Do you, though?”

Taken aback by Logan’s abrasiveness, Charlotte stumbled back a step, only to be met by narrowed eyes boring into her. “I ... I … I do.”

“Sure doesn’t seem like it from where I’m standing.”

“Logan – “

“Do you even realize how fucking stupid that stunt you pulled today was? What if that episode had hit when you were out there on the streets somewhere? All alone?”

Even though she knew his point was valid, Charlotte couldn’t bite back her derisive scoff. “First of all, I was literally by myself when it happened, so yeah, I have a decent idea.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Continuing on as if she hadn’t heard his outburst, she added heatedly, “Second, the only time I was by myself today was on the elevator ride down to the lobby, the walk from my cab to Paul’s storage unit and back here in the stairwell. It’s not like I was fucking gallivanting around the whole goddamn city.”

“For fuck’s sake! It’s not – you know what? Just forget it.” Throwing his hands up, Logan turned to storm out of the room.

“Sure. Just ru … run away. It’s – “ Tears that she refused to let fall clogged her throat and she pressed her lips together in an attempt to gather her composure. She realized, however, that the damage had been done, her stuttering robbing her words of their intended venom, so she pressed on with a watery whisper, “It’s what you do best.”

Practically freezing mid-step, he pivoted back around to face her, hands scrubbing at his face. “Damn it, Char. I’m not running away.” Shoulders falling when she rolled her eyes at him, he quickly closed the distance between them to lace their fingers together and insisted, “I’m not.”

“Then why – “

Without warning, Logan crushed his lips to hers in a kiss that left her short of breath when he finally pulled back just far enough to murmur, “’Cause you refuse to acknowledge how fucking reckless you’ve been and it is frustrating the ever livin’ shit outta me. And it just felt like it was better to walk away than say something I’d regret. Something just to hurt you. I don’t want … I can’t hurt you like that.”

Charlotte pulled back a little bit further to meet him square in the eye. “Future reference? Words are no big deal. You walking away? That’s the shit I can’t handle.”

Tangling his free hand in the hair at the base of her head, he gently pulled her face back so he could feather another kiss across her lips before replying, “Noted.” Another barely-there kiss. “Thing I can’t handle?” A slight tug of her bottom lip between his teeth that pulled a sharp gasp from her. “You not takin’ this shit seriously.”

This time, instead of leaning in again, Logan pulled pack just a bit further. She tried chasing after him, but he maintained their separation until she dropped her head back with a groan.

“You even listenin’ to me?”

“Um … yes?”

“Charlotte.”

“Hey!” She tried to glare at him, but instead ended up giggling, “You were the one distracting me!” When he leaned back in for another kiss, Charlotte dipped back as far as she could. “See! You’re doin’ it again!”

“Answer the question and I’ll stop.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?”

Shaking his head at her with a familiar and fond smile tugging the corners of his mouth upward, he chuckled, “Okay … Answer the question or I’ll stop.” As if to emphasize his point, he pulled his hand out of hers and untangled his other from her hair to place them both on her hips to keep her planted to her spot when he took a step backwards.

Making sure to soften her words with a smile, Charlotte grumbled, “Ugh. Fine. If you’re gonna be so cruel about it … “ A light pinch pulled another giggle from her. “Okay. Okay. Yes, I heard you.”

“And?”

“And … I get it.” The incredulous look he gave her almost had her flinching. “Look, I get that I haven’t been the most … appreciative for the way that you’ve been taking care of me. And I get that I can’t go back to ‘normal’ just because I want to.”

“Char – “

“Hold up! I’m not finished!” Stopping to heave a frustrated sigh, she continued, “I’m going to do better from here on out. I’m gonna take it easy until the doctors clear me. I’ll do a better job of listening to my body when it starts telling me to take a break. And I’ll stop fighting you so much about it.”

“Not stop all the way, huh?”

“I think we both know me better than that.”

Pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose, he snickered, “Okay, that’s fair. That mean we’re done with this sneaking-out shit, then?”

Raising an eyebrow defiantly, she fired back, “Depends.”

“On?”

“Are you done with all your helicopter shit? Because if you are? Then yes. I’m done sneaking out.”

Logan studied her face with an inscrutable expression on his own for what felt like hours before nodding his head once. “Fine. I’ll chill out so long as you behave.”

Wrapping her arm around his neck with a smile, she told him, “I’m so glad we got that settled. I hate fighting with you.”

“God, me too. Are you as exhausted as I am?”

Charlotte snorted as she dropped her head against his chest. “Oh, my god. You have no idea.”

“Why don’t we call it a night, then?”

The hopefulness in Logan’s voice almost made her snicker, but she managed to smother it by placing a kiss to a spot right above his heart. “That sounds like a great idea, so long as we go together tonight.

The words were barely out of her mouth before he was nodding eagerly and answering, “Done.”

A/N #2: Just in case any one is wondering (since I haven’t written about Paul and Charlotte’s friendship nearly as much as I have wanted to) and also because I just really want to share this tidbit behind Charlotte’s nickname for Paul. When the two of them first started to become friends, the way Paul was always calling her “sweetheart” drove her absolutely crazy for reasons I may actually write about at some point? lol so she decided to retaliate by calling him “lover.” Unfortunately for her, however he didn’t mind, so it obviously didn’t have the desired effect. Eventually, it became a habit of affection and each of their nicknames stuck. Thank you for indulging me in this moment of ridiculousness

Perma Tags: @burnsoslow @mvalentine @anotherbeingsworld @adiehardfan

Logan Tags: @brightpinkpeppercorn

#logan x mc #rodaw #rodtimecapsule #day four: mc

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

WINSoD - Epilogue

We’re Tied Together (Always and Forever)

Type: series, soulmate AU series (part 1, part 2, part 3)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 3750

Summary: In which you reach the end of the line. Is it though? The end?

Warnings: battle with Thanos no.2, blood and violence, character death, religious motives, mention of afterlife, language

A/N: Do you ever look at your fic and are like… you know this was supposed to be a cheesy one-shot, right? Soulmate meet-cute one-shot to be precise. Well. That work out splendidly... Anyway, here – the epilogue! Enjoy! Oh, and prepare tissues :-*

Part 6

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Waking up in a comfy bed was surreal; mostly because you knew that after falling – or half-jumping – from a cliff, this wasn’t what was usually happening. You didn’t have much experience, but you still had some common sense left.

Right?

Why did nothing hurt?

“Hello, Little One,” a voice greeted you, startling you enough to roll over and fall from the bed – only to land back in the cushions, confusing the Hell out of you – or perhaps you should have thought Heaven.

Because this was positively Castiel‘s voice. Castiel as an angel. Angels, as far as you were concerned, belonged to Heaven.

Was it possible that… that- this was--?

“Yes, you’re in Heaven… again,” he hummed nonchalantly as if it was perfectly common to just die twice and he seated himself on the edge of your bed.

“I killed myself,” you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind, instantly slapping your palm over your mouth. It sounded terrible, hearing yourself say it out loud, just throw it out in the open as if it was not a big deal.

Which in fact, it was. Since when suicidal people went to Heaven? You never had been good with the whole faith thing, but this sounded a bit sketchy.

“To save half of the Universe,” Castiel questioned, frowning. “Or would you say your soulmate belonged to hell after had once forced the plane down, expecting to die in exchange of saving millions?”

Silently admitting he had a point, you let the issue alone for the moment. Instead, you blinked, taking his appearance in. He was wearing his typical trench-coat, making him look like an accountant, dorky for a celestial being. He fitted in here though – bright room, white sheets, no windows…

“You’ll get a better room soon, less prison-like,” he explained as if he could hear your thoughts. Which he as well might, because he was an angel, you were in freaking Heaven, again, which what the Hell, if you had been before, how could you not remember that-- and everything was so confusing and… lonely. “But I thought you’d like to see your soulmate first.”

Your heart stopped. Later, you would question why did you still have a fucking heartbeat, or why did it feel like it, but did he just say-

“What the Hell is Steve doing here?!” you shrieked in horror and Castiel sighed, possibly at your swearing, but you didn’t give a fuck. What was Steve-

“He’s not here. But a battle with Thanos occurred and I thought you might like to see.”

You ran your hand down your face tiredly, relieved beyond words. Steve was alive, still on Earth – probably.

Christ. Castiel sure didn’t know how to talk to a girl who had a superhero for husband. Or he in fact did, since he was willing to show you.

It took one single snap of Castiel’s fingers and a scene of horror – fire, ash and blood – unfolded in front of you. There was nothing but smother from the debris where the compound had used to be, the Titan with an enormous space ship probably the one to blame.

And barely three defenders of Earth stood against him and his endless rows of army, thousands of monsters ready to take the half of population one by one, just waiting to be released from the ship.

Where were the others? And… Thanos! They killed him! What-

“How-“

“The Avengers gathered all the Stones. Hulk snapped this time, bringing everyone who had died in the original Snap back. Unfortunately, a spy infiltrated the team and led Thanos from the past to the present,” Castiel explained patiently, but you were anything but patient, suddenly angry as gnawing fear bit into your stomach.

“Then why are you here?! There’s… there’s Tony, Thor and Steve, three people—sorta people – facing a fucking ARMY FROM SPACE!” you yelled at the angel, a being powerful enough to drag your ass from Heaven – which you didn’t care for in the slightest.

How could he just... sit here with you?!

“We cannot interfere-“

“The fuck did you just say?!” you spitted out, rising to your feet. “Aren’t angels supposed to be guardians? You-“ you continued your verbal assault in attempt to get him moving, only to freeze when a blinding lightning hit Thor’s hammers (plural?!) and the infamous trio threw themselves into the battle.

You barely had few seconds to feast your eyes on Steve in one piece; he was glorious, standing straight with his chin up, jaw clenched in determination and all you could think of was how strong he was, carrying on with the mission.

You knew it wasn’t that he didn’t miss you, that he didn’t grieve you; he was simply the bravest person you had ever met, just like you had told him before--- ugh, before you had died.

If you only weren’t so terrified for him.

Where was everyone? If the Snap worked and people had been brought back, where was the whole bunch of warriors from Wakanda? The rest of the Avengers’ crew?

Breathless, your heart pounding in both your ribcage and temples, you watched as Thanos tossed the three figures around, almost as if he was playing with them despite their best efforts.

“Get up, Stevie. God, please, get up, get up, be okay,” you whispered urgently with your throat swollen at one particular blow that had your soulmate landing on his back and lying down with his breath knocked out of his chest, his eyes closed in what could only be agony.

With horror, you saw his body turn almost limp, your nails digging into your palms.

GET. UP. Don’t you dare to stay down and get yourself killed!

He clenched his jaw, glint of something that twisted your insides in genuine fear in his eyes. This wasn’t determination anymore. This was madness. He pushed himself on his feet and you couldn’t quite make yourself to feel relieved despite him fulfilling your earlier silent wish.

Determined Steve was a great Steve. Mad Steve? Mad Steve did crazy-ass decisions that could cost him his life. You had that in common.

Your jaw slowly went slack when your very husband grabbed Thor’s Mjölnir as if it was not a mythical weapon from the legends only Thor could lift and… banged up the Titan as if he had been fighting with it his whole life.

Incredulous chuckle escaped your lips when a flash of lightning connected with the hammer as Steve… charged it, only to aim its power at Thanos.

“I told him he could lift it,” you murmured despite yourself, letting yourself to feel a tinniest bit of hope and pride.

There was only three of them now, but surely the people who had been dusted were on their way. Steve, Thor and Tony just had to keep the Titan occupied-

Then the army stood, exiting the ship in a deadly march, no, in a deadly race and Steve got himself into trouble.

You grinded your teeth, unable to look away, but present enough to be pissed as Hell at Heaven and its angels and let them know.

“Do something! He’s gonna-“

A circle of amber-coloured sparkles appeared on Steve’s left and you could cry, recognizing Strange’s handiwork. The back-up was there. The army. The King of Wakanda with his badass sister. Sam. Bucky. Strange, Peter, the Maximoffs. Carol Danvers flying through the alien spaceship as if it was made of cotton candy. Even Natasha emerged from the debris with Clint and the others, causing you to breathe out in relief.

Now the true fight would start.

You weren’t calm by any means. But you were hopeful. Just glancing at the briefest encounter of Natasha with Sam was sweet enough to bring tears in your eyes.

“Kick their asses,” you whispered encouragingly, swallowing thickly and actually praying.

It was nearly impossible to follow the battle then; too many fronts, too many people, half-people and alien creatures. You saw the gauntlet they were trying to protect, you kept your eye on Steve, finding Thanos and his momentary enemies when you had the capacity to do so.

You honestly couldn’t tell how the fight was going, if it was in your favour or not, there was so much blood and smoke and noise… and then something caught your attention with painful clarity.

Several things happened at once; Carol, literally glued to Thanos, who had somehow got a hold of the gauntlet with all of the stones in it (oh God, oh my God, this couldn’t happen again-), was thrown away as if she was nothing but an annoying fly, Tony registered a part of his armour having been ripped away – his hand-piece – and found it with his gaze at Steve’s feet as Stephen Strange raised one shaky finger towards Tony, who suddenly had an expression of utter defeat on his face.

Your slow, terror-struck mind didn’t do the math when Steve jumped on Thanos’ arm, forcing his fingers away so he couldn’t snap his fingers. Something red and flashy glimmered in the mess of limbs, but you didn’t pay enough attention to make the connection. Peter, Spider-man, managed to web the gauntlet, helping out Steve and you almost breathed out the air suffocating your lungs.

Almost.

Because the next moment, Steve was tossed away like a rag-doll, much like Carol had been.

Like in a slow motion, the infamous effect in movies to add dramatics, you saw the Titan raise his hand with a smug smirk; and you noticed, unlike him, that his gauntlet was, in fact, empty of the Stones. But-

“I am… inevitable,” he exclaimed, a dull mechanic snap following his statement.

Nothing happened, except for the huge and ugly purple head whipping towards his useless weapon in confusion.

And that was when you saw it. The glow of the stones in a red piece of armour, Ironman’s armour, that was no longer worn by its owner.

All of the puzzle pieces fell into place, clicking with a painful clack.

Strange’s gesture. Tony’s expression. Crowley’s words of one future, matching the story of the contemporary Sorcerer Supreme. And the red flash when Steve had been fighting Thanos.

“No,” you whispered breathlessly, remembering with startling clarity what Steve had told you about Thanos – the Titan, stronger than all of the Avengers together – looked like after he finished his mission. He had nearly died.

“NO!” you repeated with more force, horror filling your very being, dimming the world around you, a violent tremble attacking your body at the glint in Steve’s eye.

It was the one that had shaken you so much before. The mad spark.

Do whatever it takes, consequences be damned.

His raspy voice broke your heart in two, tearing your soul when you realized the implication of his words:

“No. You are only dust. And to dust you shall return.”

The snap of Steve’s metal-clad fingers echoed in the room and in your head, the sound seeping into your bones as you were blinded by the streak of colours, the white swallowing the whole world for long seconds.

You were sure that this was what actual death looked like. Nothing but emptiness.

You reflected several of your last words to Steve, wanting to rip your hair out. Why had you told him such nonsense? Why would you tell him that God had wanted it this way, that you had only played your part in His grand scheme?

You finally understood the words Sam had told you so many years ago, about similar people in a relationship being a disaster in making. Steve had embraced your belief in being only a tiny wheel in the God’s great plan.

That was the meaning of the words he said. A famous line from Bible, reflecting how much he believed in God’s work at the moment.

You are only dust. And to dust you shall return.

In the critical seconds, Steve believed he had been chosen by God to be the tool delivering Thanos his defeat.

And to very likely to pay his life as a price.

Your eyes adjusted to the once again dark scene, where the hostile army started indeed turning back to dust. You desperately searched the only figure that mattered, finding him with his back resting against a random vertical flat surface, his chest barely rising.

The sight on half of his body severely burned, multiple spots on his skin blacking as it already died, had your eyes squeezed shut, your knees giving out as the sob shook your whole body.

The scene was burned into your brain, an image carved into your eyelids, sharp and precise as if you were still watching with your eyes wide open. You whimpered, shaking your head to chase it away. Vainly. You didn’t remember looking into his eyes, yet you saw them hollow, blue and green always so brilliant misted. Dead.

A hand landed on your shoulder and you winced, releasing another whine, sobs braking through your palm that at some point covered your mouth – whether to be silent of not to throw up, you couldn’t tell. The hand gave you a gentle squeeze that did nothing to sooth your grief.

Oh God, oh you ignorant God, why are you such a DICK?!

“Why? Why did-- it have to--- be him?!” you choked out, avoiding the post-battle sight and instead shot Castiel a glare that could murder.

Your chest hurt. They just tore your heart away, easily as that, hollow gaping space in its place and you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t breathe and hear and see-

“I don’t know, Little One. It was as it was meant to be. You wouldn’t want to see him suffer through your loss again anyway, believe me.”

“That doesn’t make it right!” you spitted out, disgusted at such implication. As if this happened to make you feel better! You were suffering. Hurting. But most of all, you were so fucking angry. With God. With Castiel. With… with yourself. Maybe if you hadn’t told him— perhaps- oh God, oh Satan, let the pain go away… let him rest at least. “What happens to him now?”

“Watch, Little One. He’s not gone yet,” Castiel encouraged you kindly, but you couldn’t- couldn’t—what was happening? Was he trying to tell you that they might be able to save him?

The flare of hope ignited in your body died as fast as it caught fire; why would Castiel say that you wouldn’t want to Steve go through losing you again if there had been a chance to save Steve still?

Steve was about to die. If he wasn’t gone yet, then he must have been in so much pain that your own, this paralyzing feeling, must have been nothing in comparison.

Why were you forced to witness his last moments? What kind of a twisted Heaven was this?

“You fucking idiot,” Tony rushed to his friend’s side, pissed and resigned at the same time.

“We won,” Steve breathed out weakly, only one eye following the movements around him. You buried your nails in the flesh of your palm, choking on your own spit as the sob tried to fight its way out of your chest.

“Yeah, we did,” Bucky confirmed softly, kneeling to his brother; they were nothing less than that. Hesitant hand curled around Steve’s seemingly unharmed bicep and he made a lame attempt at moving his arm to return that gesture. Bucky clenched his jaw, a tear appearing in the corner of his eye. “Don’t call him an idiot, Stark. That’s my job.”

His voice broke at the end of the sentence and your heart shattered as you felt his pain as your own. You couldn’t see anymore. The image was so blurry, but now new fear controlled your body, the fact Castiel never answered you and that meant something horrible awaited Steve in death and this was in fact your last moments of seeing him and— God, oh God, who had ever dared to call you merciful?

“I’m talking to God,” Tony specified and you wordlessly thanked him. “Clearly, he’s a dick for making it this way.”

“Nah. ‘s smart. S-sam?” Steve choked out, voice barely audible and the therapist (with wings now, having returned to his previous job) was instantly by his side, his eyes glassy as well.

“Yeah, Cap?”

An attempt at shake of head was given, you assumed, but barely a motion was the result. “You Cap now. Will ya’?”

If you had any capacity for being astonished left, you would have been at the request. But you were far too gone, drowning in misery.

“…yeah. Of course. I will if that’s what you want.”

“ ’sanks.”

Thor’s enormous figure took a step closer, thunderous voice uncharacteristically quiet. “We’ll remember you, brother. Both of you.”

A faint smile appeared on Steve’s lips, only one corner capable of rising, and yet he closed both of his eyes for a long moment, clearly struggling to stay conscious.

That’s a lie, your mind whispered. Not just conscious. Struggling to stay alive. And losing!

Only one eye opening, Steve managed to cast a half-lidded glance in Bucky’s direction, flickering to Tony for a second.

His next word was crystal clear. “Home.”

Natasha sobbed into her palm, but her delicate fingers curled around Steve’s arm as well, right next to Bucky’s, giving her friend a tight-lipped pained smile.

“Yeah, Steve. It’s okay to go home. To her. Tell her we say hi, yeah?” she pleaded lowly, keeping her voice without a crack despite few tears escaping her eyes.

You stopped breathing altogether and prayed. God, please, let him find peace. With me. And if not with me, at least give him the peace he deserves, I beg you.

Clint fell to one knee, bowing his head.

At first, you didn’t realize it wasn’t just grief sucking the strength out of him. No. Bucky, Sam and Nat instantly followed, mirroring his position precisely.

They were paying their respect to a fallen comrade, you realized.

You couldn’t take it anymore as you noticed everyone else doing the same. Not when during the process Steve’s chest ceased its motions, the life leaving his body.

And your heart left with him, along with your sanity.

Nothing made sense anymore. You fucked up, God himself fucked up and Castiel, and angels and Universe and-- and it hurt. Steve had said that they had won, but you lost. You lost everything.

Your vision was clouded by both tears of sorrow and anger, your body numb from all the pain.

Castiel’s hand slid from your shoulder, finally, but instead, you were pulled into an embrace.

You wanted to push away and run and punch and curl up on the floor, but the arms around you held you too firmly, your head was buried in your captor’s chest. You wanted to fight it, refuse the lame attempt at comfort, and you breathed in furiously to brace yourself to free your body-- but the sudden familiarity, faint cologne and warmth, body large enough to engulf yours, lips in your hair…

“S-st-steve?” you choked out, disgusting gurgle sounding in your throat, but in that moment, you suddenly couldn’t bring yourself to care.

The way you said his name was more a question, but you didn’t need an answer. You would recognize him anywhere.

You husband. Your soulmate. Your Steve.

The arms around you tightened, his embrace turning nearly crushing, his chest expanding with generous inhale as his face buried in your hair further. Your lips curled up in a tight smile and you let out a hysterical laugh, sorrow and joy, pain and relief.

“You’re here,” he mumbled to your scalp, hot tears following his words and you found yourself lifted from the floor, your body nearly merging with his and you could finally breathe again, your heart fluttering in your chest. One of his arms held you securely to his form while the other fisted in the mess of your hair. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t be here.”

“Then why did you do it?” you asked him, the anger seeping through despite the delight at the encounter you could have only prayed for. He was here. “I’m so fucking mad at you.”

“So am I at you,” he opposed, but the growling of his voice was too soft for you to believe him that his rage was larger than his relief.

And so you let go of your own anger too.

This was all beyond your control. Deep inside, you knew that. You had been just playing a part; neither of you had asked for that. You surely didn’t ask to be approached by Crowley and being given the mission, while there was little Steve could do differently when the weapon had been thrown to his feet; a literal throw of the gauntlet that was impossible to ignore.

There was a large scheme of the inevitable put in motion. Who were you to challenge fate?

No point at being mad at each other. Especially when graced with this opportunity to… whatever this was.

“Truce?” you quipped hesitantly and Steve chuckled, a watery sound that made your chest ache, yet filled it with warmth that could never be replicated. For this sensation, so unique, you needed your soulmate only.

And you had him. Forever, perhaps?

Steve withdrew a fraction, his hand caressing your damp cheek as his own glistened with salty drops, but the magnitude of his love, the amount of affection written all over his face, took your breath away, making you forget all about ugly crying.

One look into his twinkling eyes, full of devotion, and nothing else mattered.

“Yeah, doll. Truce. I love you.”

You didn’t get a chance to tell him the same, since he kissed your nose, your watery giggle having his lips spread in the boyish smile you adored.

“I love you too,” you whispered then, planting your own kiss on his lips, chaste and short.

He wouldn’t take it. His mouth locked with yours in a searing kiss instead, emotion pouring from each tiny motion of his lips against yours and you gave in, engaging in the dance of love, your fingers tangled in his locks.

Now this felt like Heaven.

“We’re okay. Everything is going to be okay,” he breathed into your mouth then, fresh tears spicing your kiss.

You didn’t care if you sounded like a child, you asked anyway. “Promise?”

Steve retreated as little as possible to be able to look into your eyes, his own still glassy, but serious and heavy with a vow.

“Promise.”

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

S.R. masterlist

༻༺༻༺༻ღ༺༻༺༻༺

Am I forgiven? Technically, this could be considered a sort of a happy ending, right? To a point, of course. I mean. Morgan still has her dad. No soulmate pairs were split… :)

Some awesome readers on AO3 suggested that the Winchesters then bullied Cas into bringing the lovebirds back to life, fixed them a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and granted them an actual happy ending. Well. If that makes you feel better, roll with that :-*

BTW, about the scene where they honour the fallen Cap: that scene (with Tony, obviously) WAS supposed to be in Endgame, how dare you, fix that at instant!

I love you if you read this till the end, till the last line. Thank you with my whole heart for your support 🤍

-.-.-

Also, while I love Steve to bits (in case you couldn’t tell) and I was happy for him because of the ending he got in Endgame, understanding the arc the writers made, the more and more I think about it, it was kinda out of character and… maybe I would have been more satisfied if heStevewas the one snapping and taking Tony’s fate. I mean… I would have cried my eyes out, sure, but… but. Sorry for the ramble O:-)

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buckysrighthanddoll · 4 years

Text

Envy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader, Bucky Barnes x Savannah (OC)

Warnings: envy, jealousy, angsty implications, sexual implications (nothing actually described), fluff of course :)

A/N: So I’m fully aware that I haven’t been active on my blogs recently, and I’m sorry for that. Since the beginning of quarantine, I’ve been in a very rough family situation and had to move houses as a result. This one-shot will (hopefully) be the start of a series on the seven deadly sins; please give feedback and let me know what y’all think!

You weren’t new to the team. It was now 2018 and you were part of the original Avengers--you had fought in the Battle of New York and against Ultron. People have come and gone and died and retired; it was rarer to find someone who stayed and it was even rarer to attach to someone who was on the team.

Bucky Barnes was that rare, rare exception.

When he came along, your thoughts raced a million miles a minute. He was the Winter Soldier, after all, and you didn’t know how his recovery process was going to come along. You met him when he was in Romania--you fought him for a brief moment before he realized that you and Steve weren’t the bad guys, actually.

It was Steve’s idea to have you stay in Wakanda with him as sort of a caretaker. You had close contact with the team, even though you and Tony weren’t on the best of terms after the Accords, but you were also a hut away from Bucky. It was here where you fell for each other. Seeing him in the fragile yet strong state, the intimate moments as you both stared up at the stars, the kindred walks through the woods, it all made you fall.

Luck would have it that he fell twice as hard. You were caring and compassionate and, most importantly, patient and understanding. Growth was not linear, and you knew that. Being there for Bucky sometimes meant leaving him to his own business, but it also sometimes meant holding him while he sobs after having another nightmare.

You and Bucky had been an official couple for two years and five days. There were definite ups and downs to the relationship--Bucky was the most sincere and thoughtful man you had ever loved, but when the two of you fought, it was like hell on Earth. It could last a few hours or even a few weeks (three weeks, six days, and twenty-one hours was the current record). But, despite having a couple of massive fallouts and many, many bickers over safety during missions, you were a strong couple.

Never in the last two years had you been insecure, until she showed up. Her name was Savannah, and she was stunning in every sense of the word. Shiny chestnut hair, striking grey eyes, the perfect face, an even better body, the laugh that lit up the whole room--for fuck’s sake, even her powers were beautiful with her. She could shoot fire and water from her hands, but she did it in the way that made her seem elegant and graceful and--ugh.

Besides that, everybody on the team adored her. Steve had a crush on her, and you were pretty sure Sam did, too. Hell, even Nat seemed interested in her. The world seemed to revolve around her, and she knew that. And, lately, it seems like James Buchanan Barnes was wrapped around her perfect finger.

The insecurity started when she first moved in. Savannah was a late riser in comparison to most of the team, but that didn’t stop her from being so damn beautiful. During team breakfast, she came in twenty minutes after everybody else had sat down in a loose t-shirt and the shortest pair of shorts to ever exist on earth, and her hair was pulled back messily into a bun. Even without makeup, she was stunning.

She sat right next to Bucky with a plate half-full of food--part of her diet plan to stay in shape, you think she said (you looked at your now empty plate and couldn’t help but feel that perhaps you should also watch what you’re eating). She struck a conversation with him, and they held it for the entire meal. Rolling your eyes and making eye contact with Sam, you stood up and took your plate to the kitchen before getting down to the gym.

“New girl got your panties in a twist?” Sam asked a few minutes later. You tore your attention away from the punching bag and faced him, a scoff leaving your lips.

“Guess so.”

“You ain’t gotta be jealous,” He said, taking your hands. He takes a glove off of one of them. “Bucky loves you more than he loves his damn cereal in the morning.”

That earned a laugh from you.

You took off the other glove, and he motioned to the mat in a silent request to spar. You both worked out, and he took you down a couple of times before you were able to get the upper hand on him.

“That’s my baby,” Bucky sang as he entered the room. Your head turned toward him, looking like a Greek god in a tight shirt and workout shorts. Your eyes also caught Savannah walking in with him, but you tried your best to ignore her. “Wilson has nothing on you, sweetheart,” He adds as he comes to the edge of the mat.

“I took her down three times before you waltzed your metal ass in here,” Sam scoffed. You laughed and got up, going to the edge of the mat where your boyfriend was. He puts his hands on your hips and you reach for the back of his neck to pull him into a chaste kiss.

“You wanna go?” He asked you, nudging his head toward the mat. “I was gonna train Savannah, but I really want to lay some moves on you,” He smiles, wiggling his brows slightly.

“Oh my god, you are such a perv,” You joked, backing up to the center of the mat. “Come on, baby, show me what you got.”

It was a light spar, especially in comparison to how you normally fought each other. It was full of laughs and teasing moments, like right now. He had you pinned down, his hands wrapped around your wrists and his knees on either side of you. You glanced between his lips and eyes, and you caught him leaning in, but at the last second you flipped him over and pinned him down. He gave you a shocked look, but you just smiled up at him.

Of course, he didn’t let you win. He flipped you back over, but this time so that your face was planted against the mat. He holds your wrists behind your back and straddles your thighs, making you laugh. “Well, this reminds me of something,” You remarked.

“Dude, gross,” Sam said. Bucky got off of you and offered you a hand up, which you gladly took. “Okay, we gotta get this girl started. How about you fight (Y/N) first, Savannah?” Sam suggested. She nods her head and smiles cockily, stepping onto the mat. “No powers this time,” He tosses in.

The two of you go in circles for a moment, waiting to see who’s going to strike first. She looked confident, but you were a trained fighter in S.H.I.E.L.D., top of the recruits, and nearly beating out every single agent of experience. She had nothing on your physical fighting skills.

“You gonna fight me or are you just gonna stand there?” She taunted.

“Taunting gets you nowhere, dollface,” You smirked. You continued in another half-circle before she lunges. It was an easy dodge, just a simple side-step and kick, and she was thrown off balance. Her arms fly out to the sides to catch her balance, so you grabbed one and used it as leverage to flip her over you. Once she was on the ground, you straddled her and pretended to snap her neck, which indicated the end of the first spar. “Don’t ever let your emotions get the best of you in a fight,” You told her, getting up.

This continues for a couple more rounds, each time she gets her ass handed to her, but she does get better. Sam left by the time you both stopped fighting.

“Can’t I fight Bucky? Most of our opponents are male,” She asks, smirking slightly. It was abundantly obvious that she had a distaste for you, but it was completely reciprocated, so you weren’t bothered.

You and Bucky switch places, and she’s not doing well at all, even when Bucky goes easy on her. You could tell that she was faking being bad at fighting; she made it clear every time Bucky pinned her or straddled her and she gave him ‘the look’.

“Okay, let’s be done. I’ll get Steve to train you,” Bucky says, stepping off the mat. He gives you a side hug and a kiss to the cheek, eliciting a smile. “Do you wanna shower with me?” He asks. “We’re both pretty sweaty.”

You nod your head, choosing to ignore the death stare that Savannah was giving you.

_____

After that, you catch her trying to go after Bucky a little more. She started waking up at the same time as him and drinking coffee with him in the kitchen, she asked Tony to be placed on missions with him, she made it a point to not include you in conversations with him.

The worst part was that Bucky didn’t stop her.

It wasn’t like he was adoring the attention that he was getting from the both of you, but he most certainly wasn’t hating it, either. It almost felt like he was falling for her--you knew the signs, after all.

His laugh was a little more bubbly, his voice was a little deeper, and the body language conveyed that he was into the conversations they were having. It made your blood boil, and she knew it.

Eventually, you decided that you weren’t going to try to stop them from doing what they wanted. If he wanted to be with her, then so be it. All you had ever wanted for Bucky was for him to be happy--maybe you just didn’t make him happy anymore.

You compared yourself to her so much that any thought about you was straight negativity. You thought that you weren’t as pretty as her, and that your smile wasn’t as bright, and that she had a curvier body than yours, and that she was always so interesting and bubbly. You believed you were so boring by contrast--no powers, no unique features that you could see.

Just bland, boring, you.

“(Y/N), you good?” Steve asked, knocking on your door one day. Bucky was in the living room with Savannah and the rest of the team having a movie night, and she was sitting so unbearably close to him that you became nauseous and told him that you were just going to go to sleep.

Steve came into the room and sat on the bed beside you, making you look at him. “I’m fine,” You lied. You knew it was a lie. He knew it was a lie.

“It’s Savannah, isn’t it?” He asked.

You sighed and closed your laptop before looking back up at him. “Do you think he wants to be with her?” You asked sincerely.

“No,” Steve answers. “I think he’s happy to have a new friend, but he loves you more than he loves--”

“If you say ‘cereal in the morning’ I will chemically castrate you,” You threatened. He laughs and shakes his head.

“You know how he talks about his service days a lot? Any chance he gets, he’s talking about the good ‘ole days when he was actually charming and young?”

“Yeah, he talks about it for hours on end.”

“When he became the Winter Soldier, he didn’t feel human anymore. He thought with every fiber of his body that he was a monster and sub-human. He didn’t think he deserved to live because of all the things HYDRA made him do. But when you became official, and even to this day, he talks about you the way he talks about his service days--with pride and love. He told me that nobody can make him feel as loved and as human as you do,” Steve explains.

“But that doesn’t mean that other people can’t make him feel the same way. He’s an easy person to fall for--I’m not the only one who’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. What if she makes him happier than I do? Or what if he realizes that she’s so interesting and perfect and I’m just me.”

“Do you really think that?” Bucky’s voice asks. You snap your head up to the doorway in shock, where Bucky stood with a sweater. Steve awkwardly stands up and leaves the room, patting his best friend on the back on the way out. Bucky closes the door behind him and kneels next to you on the bed. “Sweetheart, do you really think that I’m into her?”

“It seems kind of obvious, Buck,” you sigh. “I get it. Everybody else sees that she’s beautiful and has an amazing personality. She’s amazing, and if you want her, go for her.”

“No,” Bucky says. His voice is full of emotion, stern and unwavering yet somehow soft. “(Y/N), I love you. You’re the one who has seen me at my best and my worst. You’re the one who makes me smile when I’m sad, who brings me back to reality when I’m having flashbacks and nightmares, the one who wipes my tears. You’re the one I want to marry someday and buy a house with and start a family with--whether that’s fur children, actual children, or just us, it doesn’t matter.”

“Bucky--”

“Steve was right. You make me feel human. Why are you jealous of her?”

You sighed heavily and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. “You smile so much with her, and you’re always together, and--”

“She makes me uncomfortable,” Bucky interjects. He gives a small laugh before he continues. “She’s clingy and too touchy and doesn’t know when I want to be left alone and in the moments I don’t want to be alone, she thinks that I want to be around her when I actually just want to be around you. She talks about nothing except herself and her family, and won’t let me talk about any issues I’m having. She tried to get me to kiss her tonight, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting that shit slide.”

“She did?” You asked. Bucky nodded in confirmation, which made you livid. You stood up and tried to get past him, but he wouldn’t let you. “I’m gonna beat her ass,” You sneered.

“No, baby, I’ve got it covered. I got up and grabbed your favorite sweater of mine from my room, threw it in the drier so it’s warm, and I fully intend on holding you and making sure you know that I love you. I already texted everybody in the team and asked them to never put her on missions with me or let her try to even talk to me.”

“You’re serious?”

“Dead serious, sweetheart,” Bucky smiles. He grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it up and over your head, handing you his sweater to put on. It’s warm and it smells like him and holy shit you’re so in love. “Nothing comes between me and my baby.”

“God, you are so cheesy,” You laughed.

Bucky stands up and gets into bed with you, pulling the comforter over the both of you and pulling you into him. “You don’t have to be jealous, (Y/N/N). It’s always gonna be us.”

“Do you think I’m boring?”

“Absolutely not,” He answers. “I think that you are a perfect combination of wild and tame. You know when to have fun and laugh, but you also know how to be serious when need be. And the way you can break a man’s neck between your thighs? That’s the hottest thing I have ever witnessed.”

You bust out laughing but hold him even closer. “I love you, baby. Can we get some sleep?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” He says. He asks FRIDAY to turn off the lights and lock the door, and then he kisses your forehead before you both drift off to sleep.

_____

The next day, you actually feel rested, even though you woke up at 0430 with him (a rare occurrence nowadays). He asks if you want to go on a run with him, to which you say okay. It takes all of ten minutes for the both of you to get dressed and brush your hair and teeth.

You go out to the kitchen to grab waters for you and Bucky. Usually, nobody else is up at this hour besides Steve (who was in his room getting ready for his run as well), but today, Savannah was there as well.

“You running with us, too?” She asked, turning around with a pep in her step. Her hair bounced in its ponytail, and she looks absolutely perfect in her leggings and sports bra. You felt like you weren’t nearly as pretty in your t-shirt and sweats.

“Yeah,” You replied, trying to keep a friendly voice as you searched for the bottles you, Steve, and Bucky typically use. You find them and fill them.

“He said last week that I could join him whenever I wanted. Hope that’s okay?” She says. It’s almost like she’s testing to make sure you weren’t the jealous girlfriend.

“I don’t care,” You shrugged. “Hell, I wish the entire team would go on morning jogs.”

“Listen, I don’t want to ruin your relationship--you guys are really cute together--but I think you should know that he kissed me last night.”

You shrugged your shoulders and leaned against the counter. “If you were really concerned about not ruining my relationship, you wouldn’t try to lay the moves on him as if you’re Michael Jackson. You’re aware he’s got a girl, but that doesn’t seem to matter to you,” You responded. Your voice was shockingly calm despite how envious of her you were.

“But--”

“But nothing,” You interjected. “Not only that, but I’m not concerned about you ruining our relationship. We trust each other and we’re open about our communication. You’re not a concern to us,” You added.

“Damn straight, sweetheart,” Bucky said as he and Steve walked into the kitchen. He plants a kiss on my cheek and grabs the water bottle from me, leaning next to me on the counter. “I told you last night that I wasn’t interested. Trying to get a rise out of (Y/N) won’t work because she’s one of the most rational and open people I know.”

Savannah got so upset that steam started rolling off of her, literally. Seemed there were some downsides to being enhanced, you assumed.

“Listen, we’re sure you’ll do great on missions,” Steve said, grabbing his bottle from you. “But I don’t appreciate people who try to get between Bucky and (Y/N). Keep that in mind,” He says sternly.

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. It’s defined as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, quality, or luck. You most certainly felt that stupid feeling more than you cared to admit, but that was okay. Communication and being open could fix a vast majority of problems that arise. You were lucky, luckier than Savannah could ever be because you had a partner that was not afraid to talk to you about his problems; even better, he wasn’t scared to listen to your problems.

Bucky was rare, but the love you shared with him was one-of-a-kind.

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

Text

HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

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the32ndbeat · 4 years

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𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐣.𝐲𝐧 - [ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 ]

pairing: stalker!jaehyun x fem!reader ( ft haechan and loona’s haseul )

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of BDSM and mature themes

a/n: this is kinda short but I hope you guys like the first part of the ‘only you’ series!

masterlist

You were like a breath of fresh air and something like an alluring enigma amongst the common folk the moment you stepped through those doors. Your hair is swept up into a loose bun with stray locks falling around your face, framing it in the most beautiful way possible. The white cotton shirt you’re wearing is sheer and I can almost see the outline of your bra if only you weren’t wearing a cardigan over it but it’s ok. It looks flattering on you and does nothing to detract you from your beauty.

There is a hint of a smile on your lips, the sunshine illuminating the side of your face and bringing out the liveliness in your eyes that I rarely see among people these days. As you mutter your apologies and slide past an old man who has been staring at the same hammer for the last ten minutes, you exude grace even just by the way you walk and hold yourself.

“Hi, do you work here?”

It takes me a moment to register the fact that you are actually in front of me, looking me in the eye and talking to me. Your voice is as angelic and beautiful as you are, almost like music to my ears. I can already imagine how it would sound when I take you to bed and thinking about it makes me all tingly in the inside. I tap on the brass name tag pinned to my shirt and gesture towards the tool belt I have hanging loosely on my waist. Realisation dawns upon you, followed closely by mortification.

You smack yourself on your forehead, an embarrassed giggle escaping from those cute lips that I want on mine.

“I’m so sorry, that was so stupid of me…” You say and you squint to look at the tiny black letters on the name tag. “Jaehyun.”

“It’s completely alright. We all have moments like that,” I laugh and a smile tugs on your lips.

“It happens so much more often for me though.” You sigh and I wonder if anyone has ever made you feel like you’re any less intelligent than the average person. The thought of that makes me annoyed but I don’t dwell on it.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you guys sell ropes and duct tape here?”

Ropes and duct tape? My, my. What could you possibly need them for?

The question is itching at the back of my mind but I push it away as I flash you a bright grin.

“We do. Right this way.” I turn and you follow behind me.

Manoeuvring between shelves and people, we finally reach the rope section and it takes you a moment to get past a burly man blocking the aisle. He checks you out with those leery eyes of his as you walked towards me and internally I feel irritation creeping in. Creeps like that don’t deserve to look at you that way. You should be respected and men like that don’t respect women like you. I try not to think of how many times this must have happened to you without your notice as I gesture towards the spools of rope of all thickness and colours.

“We’ve got a wide selection here and you’re free to choose whichever you want and however long you want it.”

“Wow, you guys have every kind of rope here.” You said, amazement written all over your face as you grazed your fingers over the spools.

“Yeah, kind of essential since we are a hardware store after all.” I reply. How would those fingers feel on me?

You laugh and there it is again, that smile of an angel. You are so unlike other girls as cliche as that sounds and I can’t help but want to know more about you. Just who are you?

“You’re right. I ask some of the weirdest and most obvious questions ever sometimes, don’t mind me.”

I’d never mind if it’s you.

“I won’t, don’t worry.” I smile as I stuff my hands into my pocket and watch you take your pick of which rope to purchase. As you walked up and down the aisle, I can’t help but notice how snug those jeans looked on you. They look gorgeous on you, bringing out the shapeliness of your legs. When you turn your back to me, I try not to let my eyes drift down to your bottom.

“I’ll have about ten metres of this one!” You declare with a satisfied smile after a moment of deliberation, patting a spool of thin, straw rope.

“Alright,” I pull out a pair of scissors and measuring tape from my tool belt and get to cutting the rope.

“If you’re wondering why I’m buying rope and duct tape, I can assure you I’m not a kidnapper. I just realised how my shopping list could give you the wrong idea.” You say suddenly with a nervous chuckle and I raise my eyebrow at you.

You see the curious look on my face and continue, “Neither am I engaging in…BDSM… This isn’t a fifty shades of grey thing.” The flustered expression on your face is so cute, my heart could burst. What a cute and pretty face with such mature thoughts. Nobody said anything about fifty shades but here you are, assuming that was what I thought of. I wonder, just how dirty your brain actually is and realise with a start that you probably want me to know that you harbour such naughty thoughts so that’s why you said what you said.

I couldn’t hold back the chuckle at the back of my throat as I ask, “Then what is it?”

“I’m actually an architecture student at the local college nearby.” You say and I detect a hint of pride in your voice. You want to impress me - I can tell with that overly bright smile of yours when you said that.

“That’s amazing. Architecture must be pretty hardcore to study,” I say as I loop the cut rope over my elbow.

“It is,” you roll your eyes and groan. “I’m only a freshman and I haven’t even been here half a semester and I’m already dying.”

I laugh softly at your words and you smile. You like the attention I’m giving you.

“Well, it’s only going to get worse so I suggest taking it easy…” I trail off.

“Y/n.” You beam at me and I find myself replaying the sound of your name over and over in my head.

Y/n. Y/n. Y/n. What a charming name.

I grab some duct tape for you off the shelves and we head to the cash register which was as usual unattended to. Normally, I would have given Haechan a piece of my mind for his negligence again but this time, I couldn’t be more grateful.

“Is that all you’re purchasing for today, y/n?” I ask as I scan your items. I love the way your name rolls off my tongue, I could say it a thousand times and never get sick of it.

“Yup! Can’t really afford anything else at the moment either but I’ll probably be back when I need more supplies.” You sigh before adding, “College kid things.”

I’ve never been to college but I nod in an understanding way anyways and you grin.

“It’s just so tough these days, you know? Student loans and all plus the costs of living in the city? Insane.”

“Insane, indeed.” I repeat after you and as you hand me your credit card, our fingers touch briefly. Did you do that on purpose?

I take a good look at your credit card as you were staring out at the streets, seemingly preoccupied with a child who was chasing a flock of pigeons.

Y/n l/n.

Hm, you could have given me cash but you gave me your credit card instead. You want me to know your name, not just your first name but also your last. I see what you’re doing.

I smile to myself as I proceed with the transaction. Bagging up your purchase, I pass them over to you and you say thank you. As you head out onto the street, you turn back and give me another of your dazzling smiles and I feel my heart stutter. How do you already have this effect on me?

I watch you glide down the streets outside with your hair flowing in the wind and the sunlight bringing out the brightness and liveliness in your eyes. The group of girls walking by can’t even hold a candle to you and as you walk past them, they regard you with envious looks which I can’t blame them for. You look simply beautiful.

Once you are out of sight, I whip out my phone.

Y/n l/n. Architecture student.

First, I open up instagram. A quick search of your name doesn’t yield any results. Huh, figures. I try searching up your college instead and this time, I’m slightly more successful.

I find the architecture faculty’s instagram page instead.

A simple scroll down the page shows me a freshmen group photo and I easily locate you within a heartbeat. How could I not?

In the list of tagged usernames, I find yours and…

Bingo.

I’m at your instagram profile and I’m shocked to find it on public mode. You’re not very cautious online and I’m not sure if your parents ever taught you about staying safe on the internet but even if they did, you clearly didn’t take them very seriously. I understand why you left it on public though. You want to be seen and to be heard. Well, here I am.

Barely a minute into looking through your instagram, I already have to control myself. The pictures you take are extremely flattering and you look exceptional in every single of one of them even though some of your post captions say otherwise.

I see a picture of a room’s interior from the corner of my eye and I click on it.

It’s a picture of you and another girl which I presume must be your roommate in a small room that looked more like a broom closet than an actual room. The captions say ‘Move-in day! Super excited and unfortunate to be in the same dorm as Haseul ugh ( jk love you )’

I smile despite myself. How cute.

You have a goofy smile on your face, your friend has her arms around your waist and the two of you look so happy. Yet, I find myself looking at something else instead.

Your window.

(part 2)

thank you to @ihearttbz for helping me to proofread this! ily ><

tagging: @hae-sicheng @soothingjae

do send me an ask or pm if you want to be included in the taglist for the next part!

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