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#tumblr tried to hold me down but we here
cuteniaarts · 2 months
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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azzibuckets · 27 days
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Paper Rings [Part 1/10 | Paige Bueckers]
Paige Bueckers x fem!reader
summary: very angsty friends to enemies to lovers told through flashbacks & current day
a/n: this is my very first fic + i’m still pretty unfamiliar with how to use tumblr so pls forgive me in advance 😭 but lmk what you think!
warnings: drinking, angst, paige as a player
word count: 1.9k
masterlist w/ all parts
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FLASHBACK: 1 YEAR & 1 MONTH AGO
It was the night of the Big East championship game, and the entire UConn women’s basketball team was piled into Paige and Azzi’s apartment to celebrate with drinks. At first, you’d been hesitant to come, as you would be the only non-player there. Which usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since it was a celebration for something as special as a tournament win, you wanted to let the team have their moment. But Paige insisted, saying that you were basically one of them at this point, and that everyone loved you and would want you there.
So here you were, sandwiched between Paige and KK on the sofa. There were so many people squeezed onto the sofa, though, that you were basically half in Paige’s lap. She didn’t seem to mind though - one hand was holding a red solo cup filled with dirty Shirley while the other was firmly wrapped around your waist, holding you in place next to her. Not a typical look for best friends, but both of you attributed this intimate position to physical touch being both of your main love languages.
Paige’s fingers were absentmindedly brushing up and down your hip, alternating between playing with the fray at the end of your shirt and scratching your hip. You tried not to think too much of it. Paige was constantly moving, and she always needed something to play with or else she’d get bored and distracted. She definitely wasn’t touching you because she had feelings for you. Paige made it clear that she wasn’t interested in anyone romantically, with how quickly she moved from woman to woman. But that was how she chose to live her love life, and you respected that! And didn’t care….at all.
KK suddenly lurched up from next to you. “Ayoooo, we should play spin the bottle,” she crowed, as if this was the best idea she’d ever come across.
“Nah, girl, I’m good,” Nika teased, shaking her head at KK’s antics. “Geno said he wants us to be close, but I don’t think he meant that close.”
The rest of the team hooted in laughter. KK pouted. “Well, Azzi just texted the guys’ team to come, and they’ll be here soon. That way I don’t have to kiss any of y’all’s nasty lips.”
At that, Paige sat up a little bit straighter, her grip around my waist tightening. “Ain’t no one playing spin the bottle with the guys. Especially Y/N.”
“Why, Paige? Jealous?” Ice teased. Ice always gave you a hard time about Paige, wiggling her eyebrows at you every time you walked Paige to practice or dropped off food for her during their recovery sessions. You suspected that she was onto you, but you always shrugged off her teasing in order to seem nonchalant.
Paige rolled her eyes, although her grip on you didn’t loosen. “Nah, bro. They’re just weird. They don’t know Y/N like that. She’d be uncomfy.”
You tugged on one of her Dutch braids. You loved whenever she put her hair into two full braids. She looked so cute. Although you’d never tell her that. “What if I wanna play, hmm?” You were testing Paige’s limits, and you knew it. And as much as you wanted to chalk it up to her being jealous, you knew she was probably just being a protective friend.
Paige shook her head. “It’s such a middle school game, Y/N. You don’t wanna do that.” With those words, you felt a surge of drunken defiance rise in your chest. Paige was bossing you around, as if she knew what was best for you. But you refused to be seen as the innocent and meek type. And now you wanted to play. Because if you couldn’t have Paige, you weren’t gonna let her limit you from having someone else.
You raised your chin. “No, I think I’m gonna,” you declared.
Paige’s eyes flashed. There was a hint of surprise in the way she leaned back and studied you. “Okay,” she responded coolly. “Whatever. Do what you want - Imma top up.” She briskly slid the part of me on her thigh off, and got up, disappearing into the kitchen.
Soon, the guys piled in, along with some of their buddies that weren’t on the basketball team. You all agreed to do a mix of spin the bottle or truth or dare. It was either answer the question, or kiss. Except those who were players insisted that teammates were off limit. To be honest, you didn’t wanna play. You, like Paige, thought the game was childish. And more importantly, the only person in the room, or frankly anywhere in the world, whose lips you wanted to kiss was Paige. But Paige didn’t want you, and you had to move on.
Paige returned with a full cup, this time of beer, just in time for the game to start. A couple of the girls had gotten up to sit with the guys on the floor, so there was more room on the sofa now, meaning that Paige and you were no longer touching. Instead, there was a sizable gap between the two of you. The lack of her warmth was upsetting to you, and another reminder that Paige was only touching you because of how crowded the sofa was. Not because she craved your touch the same way you craved hers.
Just your luck, the bottle landed on you the first spin. You vaguely recognized the guy who spun it as one of the players on the basketball team. He had dirty blonde hair and a cocky smile. The top buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, and he had a rumpled look about him that would be messily attractive if it weren’t for the fact that you had almost zero interest in guys.
“Which guy on my team looks like he’d be the best in bed?” The guy’s wildly inappropriate question barely registered before Paige leaned forward, sliding her hand protectively over your knee.
“That’s a fucked up question,” she snapped. Her eyebrows were furrowed in that way that happens when she’s really angry, and her cheeks were flushed, likely from the alcohol. Tipsy Paige meant a Paige with much more intense emotions, and you knew now that she would be even more unashamed now than she is sober, which says a lot considering how she’s already pretty free willed sober. “Don’t be an ass. Give her a decent question so she’s not forced to kiss you.” Paige snarled.
The guy’s eyebrows shot up. “Chill out, P. It’s just a game,” he laughed arrogantly.
“Yeah, P.” The words, laced with malice, were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, and you wanted to die as soon as they came out. Paige looked like a puppy who was just kicked, confusion and embarrassment in her eyes. Shame rose in your throat like bile - Paige was just trying to protect you from a creepy guy, a guy who you didn’t even want to kiss, and you were taking this random stranger’s side. In front of all these people.
But words kept piling out of your mouth, even though you didn’t mean it. “Stop babying me,” you hissed. This time only Pauge could hear, but you internally kicked myself again for the harshness of your words. It was the alcohol in you, running hot through your veins, exacerbating all the bitterness and jealousy you’ve been feeling towards Paige for so long. You wanted to get back at her…but for what? It wasn’t her fault she didn’t love you back.
You were thrusted back to reality when you realized everyone was staring at you, waiting for you to make a move. It was an almost out of body experience, in the most terrible and awful way possible, watching yourself move like a robot to where the guy was sitting. You kneeled down, planted a kiss on his lips to the cheering of all the people around you, then got back and returned to your seat on the sofa.
And for the rest of the night, Paige didn’t speak to you.
—————————-
“I can’t find them.” You were digging through your purse, trying to find your keys. Paige was standing next to you, her face stone hard.
You were so drunk. After the whole kiss incident, you’d started going wild with the drinks, putting back shots as if your life depended on it. The alcohol made you feel numb, softening the ache you felt whenever you thought back to earlier that night when you had hurt Paige, embarrased her in front of all those people. You felt like the worst person in the world, and the more you drank, the more that guilt disappeared.
And now you were drunk out of your mind. You’d expected Paige to ignore you completely after, and she had, until the celebrations died down and you had to go home. You had walked to the apartment because your dorm was only 10 minutes away, and now with how you couldn’t even walk without staggering, someone needed to escort you back.
You hated how good Paige was. How she immediately got up without hesitation when Nika requested for someone more sober to walk you home. You knew she was angry and hurt, yet like always, she looked out for you first.
“Paige, I can’t find them,” you pouted. Paige exhaled through her nose and grabbed the purse from you, sifting through it before she found your keys, tucked into one of the side pockets. Opening the door, she rested her hand on the small of your back to guide you inside.
Once inside, you grabbed Paige’s hand, tugging her into your room and flopping on the bed. She stood there, still and silently watching you. She was unamused, and rightly so.
“Are you mad?” You giggled, sitting up to poke her in the stomach. When she stared back at you, still in silence, you stopped laughing. Sobering up a bit, you grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. “I’m really sorry,” you said quietly. “I don’t know why I did that earlier.” She was between your legs now. You weren’t thinking straight, your mind a muddled mess, and so you wrapped your calves around her, pulling her in until there was no space between you two. She looked down at you, bringing her hand to lightly touch your jaw.
You both stayed there for a moment, the tip of her finger running back and forth along your jaw. Your eyelids fluttered closed. Paige’s touch was so gentle, and you wanted to lean into it and stay in it forever. You didn’t understand why she was being so kind to you when you had been so cruel to her earlier, especially on a night as important as this.
“I’m sorry. For ruining tonight,” you told her, shifting to lean your forehead against her toned stomach.
“You didn’t ruin anything. But I was trying to look out for you,” she said quietly from above you. Paige. A golden heart, and a reminder of why you didn’t deserve her.
“But you kiss a lot of people. Why do you have an issue when I do it?”
Paige’s hand stuttered. “You should really get some rest,” she said gently instead of answering your question. She backed up, looking at you closely before shutting the light off. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Good night, Y/N.”
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wonderlandrry · 2 months
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hi, this is my first ever attempt at writing on tumblr!! the story could be more than one part if you like it (maybe three or four parts). this is also my first time not writing in first person pov so hopefully it doesn’t suck complete ass. (not really edited and idk how to format either so GREAT first impression, friends.)
pov: best friend! harry x you (aka i tried my best lmao)
blurb: you and harry have been best friends your whole life and one night changes everything.
contains: friends to lovers, bad girl x good boy if you squint, smoking green 🍃, smut, cussing, oral (giving and receiving for both characters), praise kink, and size kink if you squint really hard again and read between the lines lmao.
word count: 5k
• NOT RAMADAN FRIENDLY •
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just friends
“You sure you don’t want me to come up?” Rylan’s honey eyes flick from your dorm bulging back to yours. The tension from tonight’s argument is fresh in those crinkles next to his eyes that you used to love. Fucking adore.
Parting your lips, you sigh, “See you around.”
“Don’t be like that,” A ringless hand runs through his dark hair. You’re not exactly sure why you’re focusing on that but here we are. “It was a joke, come on.”
Your hand rests on the door handle, silently contemplating on freaking the fuck out again. This isn’t the first time he’s made jokes, very public jokes about your best friend. The very first time you let it slide with a warning because some people don’t understand that you can be just friends with the opposite gender. They can’t wrap their heads around that not every relationship revolves around sex. You understood but tonight? He went too far.
“Saying Harry follows me like a stray dog,” You have to take a deep breath because Rylan doesn’t know what Harry’s been through. That only pisses you off more. “Was too far.”
“He doesn’t have any friends, Lil, just you.”
“Because he’s smart, he doesn’t have friends because he’s fucking brilliant.” It was true, Harry focused more on school and baseball than friendships. He got a full ride to Calloway University reliant on grades and his pure, raw talent. Some would stop there but he took it a step further by studying physics. Now it’s your turn to run a hand through your hair because this is the fourth fight over your best friend. “Don’t be a dick.”
“Do you not see how fucked that is?” He hisses, making your head snap in his direction. “You’re supposed to be dating me, not him.”
You scoff, “So that’s what this is?”
Rylan’s hold tightened on the steering wheel, so tight that his knuckles were almost white. “Look, I don’t care that you’re friends with him but you spend too much time-”
That confirmed everything for you. Your long friendship with Harry wasn’t the problem. Rylan knew how much Harry meant to you and how your friendship was all you had sometimes. He knew yet the fact that he didn’t have your full attention every waking moment of the day was the source of cruel jokes.
“You’re threatened, huh?” His knuckles blanched even more as the words left your mouth. “Listen to the words coming out of my mouth, Ry. Harry’s been my best friend since I was seven. Nothing has and will never happen between us. I would never sleep with him and ruin our friendship.”
“I see how you guys look at each other.”
Your whole face heats, it’s literally on fire. “You’re seeing things because we’re just friends.”
“You’re in denial.” Fuck. This.
Those three words were enough to push you. Push you to fling open the car door and launch yourself onto the pavement. They were enough to heat your whole body to the point that chilly winter air wasn’t enough to simmer down your anger. You don’t even bother slamming the door shut because that asshole can get out and shut it himself. That’s what he gets for constantly trying to pry a confession out of you. A confession that doesn’t exist but he still won’t accept it. The security guard gives a weary smile as you pass him, an obvious witness of the whole shit show. You look over your shoulder just in time to watch Rylan peel out.
He doesn’t follow you, shocker. Not that you wanted him to but you also didn’t expect him to. He acts like he cares but when push comes to shove, actions don’t match the words constantly flying out of that stupid mouth.
Unlocking and relocking the door with a soft click, your dorm is oddly dark and quiet. It looks like no one has been here all day. This is a possibility since Ellie spends most nights with her boyfriend. You slide off your black vans and place your bag on the hooks by the door. Seniors get a common room and separate bedrooms in student housing and you love the privacy. Honestly? It’s hard as fuck to hook up sharing a room with someone. El never cared who you brought home but felt weird as hell, yano?
From: ball boy (11:35 pm)
you home?
To: ball boy (11:36 pm)
yeah
You loosen your claw clip and honey-blond waves tumble. Walking into your room, you slip out of the cute-ass outfit you spent an hour perfecting and into some random band shirt with no bra and spandex shorts. Such a shame because you looked hot, too bad the night didn’t end with Ry ripping this lacy, black corset off you. Sucks for him.
From: ball boy (11:42 pm)
open the window before Mack catches my ass.
Your eyes snap toward the only windows in your room. The sheer, black curtains were closed but they did a shit job keeping the sunlight out so, honestly, how good were they for privacy? Your heart hammers thinking about Harry seeing you. How he could’ve seen all of you, not just what you choose to show off. The thought made your heart hammer.
From: ball boy (12:46 am)
don’t tell me you’re fucking someone right now
From: ball boy (12:47 am)
fuckin’ sick, lil
Annoyed, you rip open the curtains to find Harry’s cocky expression staring straight at you. It’s too dark to make out his full face but you can tell by the smirk tipping the left side that he’s amused. Making your favorite dimple dent even deeper. In one swift motion, the latch unlocks letting him in. He’s done this a million times, yano? Sneaking in your room for late-night study sessions, movie nights, or sleepovers. You’ve shared a bed countless times but never crossed that line, he’s your best friend. There are rules in place to save your friendship. He means more to you than one night of pleasure. Always has.
“Nice shirt, been looking for that everywhere.” Evergreen eyes bounce across your face, “Thought you had a date.”
You blow out a breath, “Not anymore.”
He smirks, dimple popping, “Obviously.”
“Thought you had plans.” You counter because Harry may not have many friends but that didn’t mean anything when it came to his sex life. He had trouble talking to girls but that didn’t seem to matter because they flocked to him. There was just something about him that drew people in, you included especially you. Maybe it was his ability to make anyone in the room feel special; wanted by having his undivided attention.
His lips purse, “Nah, not tonight.”
“Why?”
He gives you a pointed look giving away that he knows, “You know why.”
Guilt settles into your stomach, that stupid sinking feeling of being caught hit full force. He had the same argument with Grace that you did with Rylan tonight. They seem to argue more though and it kills you seeing him upset. You know he cares about her but he loves you. Maybe not romantically but definitely platonically and that means something to him. Every time they have this conversation, you know you should walk away. It's always your first instinct to protect people you love and you love your best friend. But, you’d rather die than let him go and that’s selfish as fuck but true. You sigh, “Harry-”
“I’m good,” He closes the distance and wraps you into a hug and it feels like home. Your favorite type of hug. “Worried about you.”
You smile against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart hitting your cheek, “Nothing a Star Wars marathon won’t cure, Stud.”
His face lights up, “God, I could kiss you, Lil.”
“Whatever you say, ball boy.” Your heart flutters violently but you ignore the feeling. He always jokes like this in secret and maybe that’s the reason no one believes you’re just friends. But, they’re just jokes, yano.
“Ball boy?” He scoffs, making you tilt your chin to meet his gaze. When your eyes finally focus, Harry’s staring at you with his stupid, dimpled smile. Just because he’s your best friend doesn’t mean you’re completely immune. He’s handsome and you’d be dumb to deny that because, well, you have eyes. Currently, he looks even better from this angle. His hair’s tousled as neat as those chestnut curls will allow and dimples seem more prominent. Deep, inviting indents. The black, backwards hat only adds to the contrast of those evergreen eyes. Your favorite shade of green. A sliver of metal trapped between perfect teeth as he cocks his head. He chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “That’s fucked up.”
Pulling back, you shrug, “You’re the one who plays with them all day.”
His tongue clicks, cheeks hollowing, “Baseball, I play baseball.”
You dismiss him with a wave, walking into the common room. “Whatever helps you hit balls with your bat, Ball boy.”
“Better watch that pretty mouth of yours,” He warns in a low tone, so low that everything tingles. Reaching into his hoodie, he pulls out a bag of weed before plopping on the couch, “because I don’t share with bad girls.”
“Watching Star Wars high?” You grin as he nods. “Man of my dreams.”
Harry smirks, all boyish and full dimples, “Don’t tease.”
After pressing play and settling into the couch, you glance over at him just as the credits begin to roll. He’s lighting a joint, brows set in concentration, pink lips puckered around the paper inhaling slowly before passing it to you.
The next forty minutes fly by in the best, blissfully buzzed way. Time doesn’t have an exact science. We’re happy and having a good time. All the anger from earlier dissipated from you and Harry just being together. His nose found its way under your jaw, right next to your pulse point, some time after fifteen or so minutes. He’s always been affectionate when buzzed but holy fuck, was he toning it down before. You don’t know what changed but his hands haven’t left your waist and he keeps hugging closer to your chest with little sighs and hums of contentment. He smells so fucking good like peppermint, fresh laundry, and smoke.
Your breathing is slow and steady. Completely wrapped in him. Fingers twisting the curls at the nape of his neck until your fingertips tingle to touch him elsewhere. You don’t allow them to go lower than his throat, feeling how harsh each swallow was each time you’d get below the hinge of his jaw. He hums against your neck, nuzzling deeper into the column dangerously like he can’t get enough, “Feeling better?”
“Yes.” You breathe as he hugs tighter, not stopping your feather-like movement through his soft curls. “You?”
“Yeah, that feels good.” His words come out sleepy and deep and gravelly. “Your t-touch always feels good.” Warm evergreen holds all your attention as he kisses your cheek, “Thank you for being here with me. You make everything better, always have.”
Your face tilts, noses inches apart, and whisper. “You make everything better for me too.”
Harry’s the type of man that goes from beautiful to devastating with a change of facial expression. Your hazy brain can’t stop taking him in for some reason. It’s involuntary. That beautiful, sculpted face is hidden at nightfall but you allow yourself to appreciate how much time someone put into crafting him. It’s like you spent the last fifteen years with blinders on and can finally see.
Sage burns into evergreen as his lips roll a few times like he’s trying to come up with a safe response. The irrational part of my brain wants to feel his mouth on you again so bad that you almost crave him. Your lips part at the same time waiting for the other to make a move or do something drastic. Three heartbeats of your mouths seconds apart. Three heartbeats in your own hazy, happy world. His nose nudges yours once before dropping back to your throat. His arms wrapped around you tighter and your breathing synced again. Instead of calm and steady, now it’s erratic and fast.
Fuck, you have to be high, right? Best friends don’t look at each other like this. Especially you guys.
He leans closer, left hand planted on your thigh as we just stare at each other. Almost like he feels it too. Your fingertips ache to touch the stubble dusting his jawline so bad they tingle but you can’t seem to move. Completely lost in the hypnotic desire clouding the calm green of his irises.
Not wanting to put pressure on Harry to make the first move, you close the distance. Not sure why you did that but your mouths part at the same time. His in surprise and yours in want, yet in perfect sync. Pressing your lips to his, he immediately kisses back, cupping your jaw. One second everything’s moving slowly and the next, he’s lifting his shirt over your head. Touching every inch of exposed skin like he can’t get enough. His fingers hook into the waistband of your shorts as yours find his jeans. The kiss breaks as he leans back just enough to look at you. You’re looking at each other in silence but it’s so fucking loud.
“We should-” He swallows harshly, columns of his throat tense, “Don’t wanna finally have you if you’ll regret-”
“Won’t ever regret you, H,” Your voice is hushed yet full of so much want and sincerity. “Don’t stop, we’re okay.”
“Yeah?” He breathes out in relief pressing another kiss to your lips that sends trace currents through your body full force. Finally giving into the sweetest temptation you’ve ever tasted. Forbidden and delicious. This was like an avalanche of feelings and lust in motion, couldn’t stop the cascade if you tried. The aftermath would eventually come but everything would be okay. It had to be.
“Yeah, just friends,” Your lips move with his again but lazier, a slow pace that makes everything come to life. “This doesn’t change anything.”
You lied because this meant everything but you can’t stop.
He blinks like he can see right through your bullshit.
You blink back hoping he doesn’t.
“Just friends.” He repeats only the first half of your lie between kisses, pressing your body further into the couch with his hips.
The words come out breathless.
The words come out easily.
The words come out in cool peppermint.
He starts to drag your shorts off at the same pace the kiss and you lift a little to help. Being this vulnerable, letting the other fully see the other is something you can’t put into words. Your eyes rake his body as his lustful, dark gaze mirrors yours. There aren’t enough fucking words to describe how beautiful he is. Taking in every single detail from his tattoos to his cock pressed between your open thighs. The desperation; everything fucking aches for him. He leans forward, lips parting, eyes darkening by the minute, leaving open-mouth kisses along your jaw until they meet your mouth. The warm metal of his tongue ring claiming every inch of your mouth. He tasted like charged temptation in the best way, like something you didn’t know you craved until now.
Harry whimpers as your legs wrap around his waist. His cock throbs between your thighs and he groans against your lips. The sound vibrating with need; so fucking desperate. Strong hands grip your ass as the kiss deepens. He’s kissing you like you’re oxygen and he’s hungry for air. Almost like he can’t breathe without tasting you. Without having you like this. Staggered, harsh breaths hit the left side of your as his lips descended. Sucking and biting gently at your throat until they reach your chest and wrap around your nipple piercings. Metal clanking salaciously as his tongue swirls, toying with each little bar. His cock throbs again and your head falls back into the throw pillows with a loud moan. The arrogant smirk against your already heated skin only sends fire dancing.
Crackling and humming with each touch. They say fire needs oxygen to grow and Harry was yours. Always has been, he ignites all your fires.
Pulling back slightly, salacious evergreen meets thunderous oceans as he speaks, “So fucking pretty.” His words come out as a rasp, full of raw desperation. “Wanna taste you so fucking bad.” Kisses pepper your face, “Wanna make you feel so good, please? ”
“Y-yes,” You breathe, unable to finish the sentence as his kiss-bruised lips meet yours again and again, his fingers digging into the sensitive skin of your already open thighs, while yours run through his soft curls. Tangling and twisting as your lips move hungrily, desperately. Your teeth trap his tongue ring gently tasting and the sound that escapes his throat is feral. His body pushes against yours as you devour each other. Urgent, hungry, and like you might run out of time or change your mind. Hot, open-mouth kisses descend from your lips to your jaw then stop at the base of your throat.
“Fuck,” The word’s rushed, nearly a pant, as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head. The view of his gorgeous, toned body sends a shiver down your spine. The butterfly on his chest fluttered with each rapid breath. His abs jutting and rippling like it took everything in him not to lose it right then and there. Rough yet gentle hands feather your ribs, gliding effortlessly until they pause at your hips, leaving trace currents branding me with each tortuous touch. The rings on his fingers dig into the sensitive flesh of your hips despite how gentle he’s being. A surprised gasp leaves my lips in a whimper as his grip tightens holding you into place. Your hips tilt, wanting to feel him and he groans, nostrils flaring like he’s in pain, “Want you so bad,” His nose runs against your jaw, “Not gonna last if you keep moving, Lil.”
“Sorry,” You breathe letting your head fall back as it swims with every effortless emotion you feel for him.
“Shh, you’re perfect, so fucking perfect, look at you.” He whispers, the gravelly tone of his voice sending vibrations between your thighs making you ache. A completely desperate ache for him that would be embarrassing if it was anyone but your Harry. Suddenly, he’s kissing you but lazily this time. His lips moved so painfully slow and tender against yours. Kissing like you have all the time in the world. As soon as you match his pace, he breaks the kiss sighing deeply against your parted lips. He studies your face, evergreen locked on blue, as he slowly drifts between your thighs. His hands follow him, traveling down your inked body with ease, until they lock around your upper legs.
“What’re you doing?” You ask breathlessly, trying to keep up with his pace. He ignores you, placing drawn-out kisses trailing from your left hip to inner thigh. Soft moans leave your parted lips each and every time his mouth touches your skin. His kisses are getting closer and closer, nipping and sucking, teasing and torturing. It’s too fucking much. “Harry-”
“Need something, Lil?” He sucks harder on your hip, leaving a purplish bruise on porcelain skin, tilting his head up to meet your gaze with a lazy smirk. So effortlessly sexy.
“Please-” Desperateness clings to the word as your head falls back, unable to handle seeing him between your legs.
“Please what?” Harry smirks against heated skin as your hips move forward, “Use your words, pretty girl.”
“I want-” The sentence pauses at the tip of your tongue. No one’s ever asked what you wanted before. “I’ve never-” Your brows push together trying to find the right word but he reaches up, fingers smoothing the line between them like he understands.
“It’s okay,” He runs the flat of his tongue against your clit and your knees almost push together from pleasure, the round of his tongue ring hitting perfectly. Like he knows exactly what you need. Burning evergreen disappears into the back of his head as he moans against you, fingernails digging into your skin. “Taste so fucking good, Lil. Knew you would, so fucking sweet.”
“Fuck,” The whimper that comes out of you is pathetic as he lifts your leg, draping your right knee over his shoulder, tongue circling with no mercy. Flicking and sucking and teasing as he changes pace. Your head falls back feeling his piercing tease your entrance with each flick of his perfect tongue. Your fingers laced into his wet curls, tugging as he pulled back, eyes meeting yours. Bringing his left middle and ring fingers to your lips, manually parts them until his fingers push past your bottom teeth. The cold metal of his rings hits your warm mouth. Evergreen dances darkly as they glide across your tongue until you gag around them. He exhales roughly, head cocking, “Mmm, suck. Such a good girl for me, yeah?”
Your lips wrap around his fingers as your eyes lock. He moves them in and out a few times before withdrawing. Never breaking eye contact, pink lips puckering around my clit as his fingers tease your entrance. He watches you intensely, so fucking intensely as his fingers match the pace of his tongue. Your eyes flutter in pure fucking bliss as your grip on his hair returns. Pulling and tugging, making him groan so deeply, “Lil.”
Your name came out of his mouth with the same electricity that courses through your veins whenever he’s around. Hot, entrancing, unfuckingdeniable, and your undoing. White, hot pleasure hits so hard that you try to close your legs but his hands wrap around your thighs, keeping them open, easing you through it. Your breathing evens out as Harry watches you between your open thighs. His head tilted upward, lips parted in amazement, evergreen bouncing around your face like he’s committing every muscle movement to memory.
“For fucks sake.” He exhales, blinking in complete astonishment.
“Hmm?” The word comes out lazily, so fucking easy like your smile.
He hovers, face inches from yours, hazy eyes blazing with lust. The end of his cross necklace bounces off your bottom lip a few times. “So pretty when you cum, Angel.”
Fuck, in one swift movement, you push his chest backward completely straddling him as his back hits the couch. Long, ring-clad fingers grip your jaw as he presses his lips to yours, kissing slowly, tongues tangling lazily. He tastes like you and it makes your head spin. His fingers tangle into your hair, blond waves fall, as he collects them wrapping the strands around his wrist. Breaking the kiss, your hands glide across his skin, feeling every harsh breath and ridge before settling between his legs. Every flutter of his butterfly as he breathes, how his abs constrict with each breath like he wants you so badly that it’s painful, and the vein resting next to the perfect v-line of his left hip. Taking a deep breath, your head tilts, meeting his hungry, beautiful gaze as your lips wrap around his head.
He lets out a loud moan, abs jutting, as your tongue twirls and teases. His head lolls back, lips parting while the moans come out so fucking feral; desperate. The grip on your hair loosens as you take him deeper, hollowing your cheeks with each suck. Honey curls fall you around like a curtain as he cups the back of your head, pushing you to take him deeper, never breaking eye contact. You almost wanna shut yours seeing how much adoration and attention and lust swims in his pretty irises. He starts moving his hips slowly, testing, and relaxing your jaw. His jaw tightens with each thrust, moaning so fucking loud, lips puckering around a needy exhale, “I-fuck-I’m not gonna last.”
Flattening your tongue, a hum in appreciation and that makes him break. The soft green of his eyes darkened as control slips with each thrust. “God, look at how pretty you look wrapped around my cock.” He groans even louder and you gag around him. His hips slow, “You can take it, just like that, so fucking good.”
Your cheeks hollow as his movements grow more frantic. More fucking desperate. Twirling your tongue, he pulls out, cupping your jaw again as he cums. Painting your chest in the most filthy way. Head tilted back, eyes shut, pumping his cock as he whimpers. Blush spreads up his throat, neck vein popping in the sexiest way, and perfect lips parted in pure ecstasy; pure bliss. He’s the most devastating man you’ve ever seen. The minute your gazes meet, your breathing halts. So many emotions battle to come to the surface as lush forests meet raging oceans. The push and pull that is us. This is a moment where you just stare at each other in understanding. Letting your eyes say what you’re afraid to admit out loud.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” Harry’s voice is gentle and soothing while his fingers trace your jaw before disappearing. You count his footsteps but don’t respond. The weight of what happened crashed into you like a freight train. Your breathing accelerates instead of steading as everything plays out. You don’t want to lose him when this doesn’t work out. The thought comes quickly and like a bucket of ice water. Panic setting in because you can’t lose him. You can’t lose him over one night of weakness. Shit, the uncertainty feels heavy on your chest, heavier than it should because there’s no one you trust more. He’s your best friend.
“Lil?” Hesitantly, your eyes snap to your favorite shade of green. Allowing them to travel his peaceful features, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. Everything about him is relaxed and unguarded as he starts cleaning you up with a warm washcloth. The light stubble on his sharp jaw to pink parted lips to the freckles on the bridge of his nose that you wouldn’t see unless you were close enough. Your fingertips ache to trace the path, feel each little freckle and plane of his face, until they’re touching his pink lips. Sometimes, you wish memories worked like photographs or something so you could accurately remember how being in his arms feels. How finally being his feels until unrelenting reality hits. You’re not his, Grace is, and that hurts worse than you thought. His lips tip into a left-sided smile, “There she is.”
“Here I am,” You smile back, cheekbone gently compressed by his long fingers.
Dark curls sticking up in different directions, evergreen eyes following every detail of your face, a red hue dusting across his cheeks, and his once parted lips tugging into a sleepy smirk, “You still with me, Lil?”
“Always.” The word came out fast because you were with him. Maybe too with him. “Gonna get dressed real quick.” A giggle escapes your lips, “Don’t have the money for Ellie’s therapy bill if she walks in.”
“Fuck,” He chuckles, running a hand through long curls, “She’d probably ask to join.”
Your phone buzzes two times and something inside you freezes. You know it’s Rylan, no one else but him and Harry text you this late. The playful expression on Harry’s face slowly drains into something that resembles pain as he hands it to me. The sudden change makes your stomach turn in the worst way.
From: Ry (2:30 am)
Sorry about tonight.
From: Ry (2:31 am)
Can’t lose you over a stupid argument, Lil. I know you and Styles are just friends and you wouldn’t touch him. Sorry for being a jealous prick.
That stomach-sinking guilt comes back full force and causes your mouth to flood with saliva. You pull the Nirvana shirt over your head and turn to explain but he’s already looking at the wall. His jaw tense, so tense that the hinges are bulging, but expression is stoic. He swallows, the columns in his throat tense then relax showing just how hard the salvia was to get down. You linger on his side profile for a second, appreciating the beautiful yet masculine planes of his face, before clearing your throat. He blinks a few times before turning slowly to meet your eyes. The words rush out of your mouth, “Harry-”
Playful evergreen darkened to forest green, “I better go.”
You jump to your feet, following behind him quickly, desperate to explain. His back to you, broad shoulders sagging, as he works to unlatch your window. The glass opens with a thud and you expect him to leave but he doesn’t. Ring-clad fingers grasp the ledge, knuckles blanch, as he just breathes. You count to fifteen waiting for him to look at you but he doesn’t. 240 long, excruciating seconds pass. Exhaling harshly, his voice is hoarse, “We need to tal-“
“Friends?” You blurt, not letting him finish. Needing to know you’re okay, eyes volleying between him and the notification on your phone.
He pauses, hand resting on the windowsill, so much pain in those evergreen eyes you love so much. There he was, always taking care of you. Even if it means hurting him.
“Yeah, Lil.”
Your attention stays on the window as he slips out without giving you a chance to respond. Everything smells like him, a mouthwatering mixture of fresh laundry, peppermint, and something earthy like the wind. Even your skin has traces of him that you don’t think you’d be able to wash off. The memory of tonight permanently embedded into you and there is no denying it. How his mouth felt, his hands on you, the sound of his raspy voice slowly ruining you for anyone else.
What the fuck did you just do?
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sp0o0kylights · 11 months
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Steve and Gareth as Cousins, no longer a warm-up and now called Lifelines, part three! I’ll throw it up on A03 when I finish the fourth part. 
Prior parts can be read here: Part One / Part Two 
First things first, the most amazing @ sereinpetrichor managed to track down the OG Twitter thread this runaway train is based off of! 
It was this thread by @gatorthots, the Tumblr version of which can be read, here.  All blame for this idea firmly rests on their brilliant, plot bunny inducing shoulders. 
The other, follow up thread I mentioned was this one by Silas, whose tumblr name I do not know. 
As always and forever, shout out to the most amazing @chalkysgarbagefire​ who helps me edit/plot/pats my head while I’m crying in their inbox bc the words aren’t wording right. 
Warnings: Steve and Robin are canon (S3) drugged. I took a slightly (kinda sorta) more realistic approach. Vomit mention, canon threat of violence/guns (the Russian guards) Mention of pantsing/past bullying, Steve and Robin’s drugged asses not understanding personal space, Dustin’s canon...Im gonna go with assholishness? but like, I think its more than he’s a young kid and doesn't quite have the emotional growth/awareness yet in this kind of insane situation to know how to react to the whole address/torture bit (really who does)/its a defense mechanism--and Gareth sort of has a panic attack. 
Whatever the hell they had been drugged with, Steve and Robin went from 'giggly happy fun time' to 'vomiting into toilet bowls while loudly wishing for death’ awfully fast. 
Gareth was not an expert on drugs. He knew Eddie wasn't either (the guy never dealt anything stronger than your average psychedelic--had some agreement with his Uncle about only selling "the 70s basics") and repeated looks towards him proved Eddie was still trying to figure out what Steve and Robin were on. 
Answers hadn't exactly been forthcoming--Eddie's gently made attempts at ferreting out information had only caused more confusion.
Like why the two of them were so freaked out about a gate, or what had made Robin gasp, and then laugh so hard she cried when Steve had made a particularly rough noise then muttered; "Even that sounds better than Tammy Thompson." 
Either way, Gareth was mostly trying to figure out what the hell they were going to do, because sobering up in a busy, public mall wasn't exactly the best idea. 
"I regret," Robin tried to say, in-between gagging. "I regret--hrk--" 
"Me too." Steve moaned, head resting against the stall wall. Gareth, still caught up in panic, had been permanently regulated to door guard while Eddie alternated between sweet talking, rubbing backs and offering quietly whispered advice. 
"Let's go back in time and ignore the whole silver cat thing." Robin continued, slumping back down onto the floor. 
"Wouldn't have mattered." Steve muttered. "Dustin would have figured it out without us. Kid’s too damn smart." 
"So?" Robin grumbled, quietly thanking Eddie as he once again brushed her hair out of her face. 
"So he would have gone down there anyway, which means I'd be down there anyway." Steve concluded. "We shouldn't have gotten you involved though." 
He shakily pushed himself up, staggering to his feet and looking like bambi on ice while doing it. 
Eddie quickly came round to offer his help, hands spread as Steve groaned out a curse and clutched his head.  
The older took a step forward right as Steve lurched back, unbalanced and shaky. 
 "Oh shit." He said, eyes wide as he crashed backwards into Eddie, the latter catching him with a grunt. 
Despite the entire situation, Gareth found himself stifling a laugh as Eddie wrapped his noodle arms around Steve's chest, trying to hold the other up without falling himself. 
"Come on big boy, why don't we just siiiit back down." Eddie said, slightly breathless as he helped guide Steve back to the floor. "There we go…"
They did so outside the bathroom stall, Eddie sinking into a kneel as Steve sort of flopped down on top of him. 
Blinked a few times, like the drop had rattled what little sense he’d managed to recover in the last few minutes. 
A pleased noise came out of his cousin's throat, and holy shit was Gareth going to have blackmail for life, because rather than vacate Eddie's lap, Steve just turned around in it. 
Reached up with one finger outstretched and proved himself to be very much still under the influence as he touched Eddie's nose.
"Boop!" He said, and then giggled as Eddie dropped onto his ass in surprise. 
Gareth watched Robin as she took the whole thing in, from Steve's snickers to Eddie's shocked expression, eyes growing wide in excitement. 
He failed entirely to cover his own amusement when Eddie abruptly found himself with two sailors invading his personal space, each taking turns to boop his nose. 
“Uh.” He managed to get out, blinking rapidly and at a loss for words. “Ah.” 
Steve caught the metalhead’s awkward, red-faced expression and proceeded to drop his head to Eddie's shoulder, muffling his laughter against the man's vest. 
The helpless look his best friend sent him was one Gareth would remember for a long time. 
“O-kay.” Eddie said, frazzled, as Steve recovered far too quickly, turning to rest his cheek against a slim shoulder as he walked two fingers up Eddie’s battle vest and towards his hair. Likewise, Robin had discovered Eddie’s wallet chain, and had begun fiddling with it. 
One finger curled around a strand of brown hair and Eddie jerked his head, removing the tempting piece away from Steve’s hands. 
“I know you’re used to getting whatever you want, your highness.” He said, his own hand smacking against his waist before Robin figured out the other end of his chain ended in a handcuff, “But you of all people should know the hair is off limits.” 
Completely undeterred, Steve just gave him a loose, easy grin. “It’s so pretty though.” He complained, fluttering his eyelashes in a blatant attempt to try and turn on the ol’ Harrington charm.  “You can touch mine if you want.” 
Yeah, Gareth’s blackmail was getting better by the second. 
He might even get a new piece for his drum kit out of it, if this kept up. 
Free weed too, considering Eddie’s blush was now fire-engine red. 
“Man,” Eddie said in a clear bid to deflect the entire situation (and Steve’s fingers) away from his hair, “the last time someone called me pretty was right before I got pantsed—-is Tommy H hiding in one of the stalls again?” 
Steve picked his head up, confusion crashing down his face. 
“Did he do that?” He asked. 
Then, with growing horror; “Do you think I’d do that?” 
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that your whole little court’s M.O.?” 
Steve sucked in a breath, looking downright hurt. "I wouldn’t do that." He insisted, eyes wheeling from Eddie to Gareth and back, as though hoping Gareth would back him up. 
“I’m not--I’m not friends with Tommy anymore.” Steve continued, voice growing smaller as he spoke. “I’m not friends with anybody anymore, except maybe Dustin.” 
It sounded so defeated; trodden on and subdued that Gareth stepped forward automatically, to do--something. 
Provide the fucking comfort his cousin was oft denied and hug the guy. 
As always, it turned out to be the wrong move. 
"Oh thank god." A kid said, seconds after bulldozing through the main door and nearly bowling Gareth over in the process. "I found them!" He shouted over his shoulder as swept into the room. 
“Speak of the devil.” Steve said flatly, and even drugged, he managed to pull himself back together from distressed to stoic in mere seconds. 
The curly-haired kid--Dustin apparently--stormed right up to the pile of humans splayed on the floor, hands on his hips. "What the hell. We told you two to stay put!" 
Steve rolled his eyes as Robin booed him. 
“Have you forgotten what’s happening? Or how we’re kinda in a Red Dawn situation?” Dustin continued, looking like he’d just escaped from a summer camp. 
The kid even had a walkie talkie clutched in one hand, of all things. 
“We know.” Steve and Robin deadpanned at once, before looking at each other; Steve pointing a finger towards Robin and Robin pointing one back. 
This caused the kids to trade their own long suffering, “can you believe this shit” faces. 
"We need to go, and the only way we’re gonna get out of here unnoticed is if we blend in with the crowd." Dustin said impatiently.  “Now come on Steve, get up already, you've had worse.”
"I really don't think I have." Steve muttered, but moved to push himself to his feet anyway. 
Eddie beat him to it, and he and Gareth both hovered nearby in case Steve was still unsteady. 
Thankfully, the kids' presence seemed to sober up Robin and Steve both. 
Not actually sober, that wasn't how drugs worked, but whatever was left of the fun was sucked right out of the bathroom, replaced by two teenagers who were sort of functional on whatever they'd been drugged with. 
Stress and adrenaline, Gareth knew, could overcome a lot of things. Including Russian "truth serum" apparently. 
“Yeah well you're lucky you got found by these guys and not anyone else. " Dustin continued pointedly, before turning his attention towards Gareth and Eddie both. "Thanks for watching our friends, but we've got them from here." 
Gareth made a sort of unhinged, disbelieving noise. 
 “No, no you do not.” He declared, anxiety clawing at his gut at the mere thought of abandoning Steve to two children. 
"I don't think you heard him." The girl stepped forward, braids swinging about her face as she lifted her chin and nailed him with a cold glare. 
 As if this entire situation couldn’t possibly get weirder, Gareth suddenly realized she had a helmet in her hands and knee pads on.
 "He said we got this. So scram." She flicked her fingers out in a dismissive sort of "shoo" gesture.
"And leave my drugged cousin with his new girlfriend behind!?" Gareth challenged right back, emotions far too raw and frayed to care he was snarling at a little girl. "I don’t think so!”
"Cousin!?" Dustin bit out, sounding almost betrayed for some reason, at the same time Robin who'd been climbing to her feet with Eddie’s help, shouted; "I am not his girlfriend!" 
Steve, clearly unwilling to entertain whatever fight was brewing, clapped his hands together. 
"Yes cousin, Dustin. It's a type of family member." Steve said, after they all flinched and looked to him. He at least looked steadier on his feet this time, though Gareth still lingered nearby in case he took a wrong step. 
"I know what a cousin is, Steve!" Dustin shot back. 
“Then why are you acting like a lunatic?” Steve complained, and Gareth got to watch in real time as Steve pulled on the persona he often wore in high school down around him. “You said it yourself, we don’t have a lot of time. Worse, I don't know if anyone saw Gareth and Munson here with us.” 
He jerked a thumb sideways in Eddie’s direction, not that anyone couldn’t figure out who “Munson” was. 
“They stay with us until we’re out of this mall.” Steve finished, before he started towards the door.
One step he was Gareth’s cousin, drugged and vulnerable because of it. 
The next he stood taller, talked smoother, took charge with an aurora that said he expected everyone to listen to him. 
It was fake as hell, but it worked. 
“I know you’ve got a plan Dustin, so spill it.” He commanded as he walked.  
 Dustin, despite all the squawking, did just that. 
xXx 
Of all the things Gareth had expected to see upon escorting their little ragtag crew out of the bathroom, groups of intimidating, mean looking assholes wasn’t on the list. 
He found himself repeatedly nudging Eddie in the ribs, unable to take his eyes off what was clearly a checkpoint as he staggered to a halt. 
It was one thing to be told people were after Steve and the “Scoop’s Troop” As Robin had jokingly named them. 
It was another entirely to see the security guard directly in front of him look over a woman’s ID before apologizing to her, a sleazy grin matching his oily pony-tail as he waved her on. 
They really were looking for someone. 
Not someone, Gareth realized in dawning horror.
Them. 
Robin apparently, came to the same conclusion seconds later, because she snatched Steve and Dustin’s arms both, hauling them backwards. 
“Argue about Dustin’s address later, we need to find a different way out.” She hissed quietly as she tried to slowly reversed direction, movements still a bit sloppy. 
She might have even gotten away with it, had Sleazy Pony-Tail not turned and made eye contact with Gareth right after she spoke. 
His eyes swept over him, then to the rest of the group, freezing like a cat that had spotted its prey.
“Abort, abort!” Dustin sputtered, wheeling about on his heel. 
Erica, whose name Gareth had learned when she kicked him in the shin after he asked why an actual infant was running around with Steve and Robin, pointed towards the escalators before she beelined over to it, ducking into the center and riding it down like a slide. 
Something Eddied was downright delighted to copy. 
Gareth might have enjoyed it himself, had he not been looking over his shoulder to see not one, not two, but four security guards giving chase--and gaining. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuckikity fuck.” He heard Robin chant as she shot past, Steve planting himself at the top as he made sure everyone got down to the next level before sliding down himself. 
"Do not let them leave!" One of the guards yelled to the others, accent clear as a bell. 
"Holy shit that guy's actually Russian." Gareth found himself saying as he skidded across the floor and bolted after the others, Steve hot on his heels. 
He had kinda expected the Russian thing to be some sort of drug influenced inside joke and not an actual, honest-to-God Soviet. 
Which led to the question of why the fuck adult men in security uniforms had drugged random teenage retail workers.
Food workers.
Whatever the fuck one called a two people who scooped ice-cream in sailor costumes. 
"There's another group up ahead!" Eddie yelped, swerving sideways and nearly taking Erica out while doing it. 
Noise erupted ahead of them in the form of foreign shouting and loud, harshly barked commands to “Freeze!”  
‘Oh hell no.’ Gareth thought wildly, as he caught the form of the giant fricken gun the guard closest to him held. 
“Split up!” Dustin howled, and before anyone could comment about how bad an idea that was, Gareth found himself being yanked sideways. 
Steve swore loudly behind him as Robin, who’d crashed backwards, pulled him in the opposite direction and in a second their group broke in two. Gareth, Eddie and Dustin going one way, Steve, Robin and Erica another. 
"This isn’t happening." Gareth muttered, words made in a sort of pleading denial as he and Eddie turned the corner and immediately vaulted over the counter of an Orange Julius. “I smoked or drank or did something and this is a hallucination that is not. Actually. Happening.” 
Dustin at least, was smart enough to dive around the counter instead of over it, sliding towards them on his knees. 
Eddie quickly yanked him down to the floor in-between himself and Gareth once he was close enough to grab, one hand going over the hat to shove the kids head down. 
Annoying or not, he was at least several years younger than them, and Gareth could practically feel Eddie’s protective instinct kick in as he kept his hand on Dustin’s head. 
Together they tried to silence their breathing as the guards’ shouting continued on behind them. 
What was worse than their noises though, was when they unexpectedly and suddenly, went silent. 
Gareth’s breath felt far too loud as the stillness gained a suppressive weight, pressing down harshly against him and making it harder and harder to inhale. 
‘Panic attack.’ He realized, thoughts a touch detached. ‘You can’t afford to have a panic attack right now.’ 
Not when it had a high chance of getting them all killed. 
Slowly he moved his own free hand, placing it atop of Eddie’s, fingers gripping down in a way that was no doubt painful. 
Eddie glanced over to him and Gareth thanked every single time he’d smoked way too much weed, because his best friend immediately clocked what was wrong. 
Turned his hand over, so that Gareth could hold onto it atop Dustin’s hat. 
It didn’t help with the knowledge that his very much still drugged cousin and his equally drugged not-girlfriend were also hiding somewhere, or that there was significantly more Russians than there where terrified teenagers (and one--whatever age Erica was.)  
Flashlights cut shapes into the wall overheard, trailing along the Orange Julius menu. Quiet voices covered even quieter footsteps and Gareth had the sudden realization the probability of there being more than one guard carrying a huge gun, was very, very high. 
Worse?
This part of the mall wasn’t that big. There were only so many places to hide, and as such, only so many places to look. 
Death comes for everyone eventually, but Gareth hadn’t exactly expected it to show up before he hit twenty.
Not that they could do anything but wait. Pray to God and the universe and any other higher power he could think of to intervene, head pressed hard against the wood behind him as the small noises drew nearer.
What he hadn’t expected was for said prayers to get answered in the form of a of a fucking car being thrown into the Russian’s like bowling balls. 
“Run!” Dustin shouted, and Gareth wasted absolutely no time in doing just that. 
The only goal on his mind was to find Steve, get out, and then have a very long discussion about what the hell this all was, in that exact order. 
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Yuus Food Truck
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In which Azul loses his mind over a grilled cheese.
Content stuff: short, one sided enemies to lovers, Azul being a loser, general cringe.
Posting Reqs like this for a bit until Tumblr lets us edit asks. I had a request for Enemies to Lovers with Azul, so I came up with this.
That goddamned Prefect was the bane of Azul's existence. For the past few weeks, he has been gripping his leg in absolute rage within his office as he stares at his weekly reports. Practically frothing at the mouth at the mere mention of you.
Recently, the little Ramshackle prefect has begun a new business venture. A simple food truck on campus selling only grilled cheeses for a singular madol. That's it. He found the idea a bit funny, he'll admit, but he was far from worried.
Surely after a month it would shut down, or at the very least get so few customers it wouldn't impact his business. I mean come on, how much money are you really making from selling grilled cheeses for one dollar? You must be taking a loss!
He was wrong. So so wrong.
Not only have you somehow been profiting from your little side project, but you have taken all of his customers. He is looking over his lounge, nowhere near as full as it usually is. He grits his teeth and heads back into the VIP room. The twins should be here any minute now. 
On cue, the door creaks open, and in come those rowdy twins both with their usual smirks. Azul jerks up, staring up at Jade from his desk. His hand shook ever slightly as he gripped the feather in his hand.
“Well? Did you get it?” The mer asks, gaze steely. Floyd speaks for the both of them through mouthfuls of grilled cheese.
“Mmmhmm yeah, we got you a cheese, here you go. Mmmm.” Floyd took another bite of his as he tossed the wrapped-up grilled cheese onto the desk. 
“Hey watch the merchandise– Are you eating their food?" Azul stared at both of them. Floyd stuffing his face with the one in his hand and Jade elegantly nibbling on his own. He was shocked, betrayed by his own staff. “You guys gave them more money— ugh. I would have expected this of Floyd but you too Jade?”
“The prefect saw me ordering and put some mushrooms into mine that pair well with the cheese. Free of charge as well. How thoughtful of them. I must commend their customer service.” Jade wore a shit-eating smirk on his face as he took another bite, making a show out of it. He seemed to relish in Azul's misery.
“Free of charge?” Azul was flabbergasted. Not only were their prices ridiculously low but they were adding things for free? They might as well be handing their money away at that point.
“Right? I say they should have charged Jade for all he's worth for putting those damn things on. Yuck…” Floyd wrinkled his nose as he side eyed Jade, who just continued to eat blissfully. 
He needed to figure out just what was so good about the damn things. Gloved hands carefully lifted up the wrapped delicacy with such fragility as if it would break from a gust of wind. The wrapping was done well, nice and neat as he peeled it off to reveal what was inside.
Crisped and perfectly brown buttered white bread. It glistened in the light with its heavenly beauty. The cheese was ooey and gooey and so thick that it ran down the sides. So far the presentation was beautiful, but it was pretty damn difficult to fucked up a grilled cheese. He tried to hold back this drool from the smell alone.
Carefully, he took a bite and closed his eyes. His mouth was blasted with flavor. As he savored that magical bite, a gust of wind swept through the room, causing the curtains to dance dramatically. The cheesy aroma lingered, creating an ambiance fit for a culinary masterpiece. This grilled cheese has unlocked secrets of the universe with how much it expanded his mind. This mere sandwich has him on the brink of tears
Azul has to hold his expression. He's not gonna be impressed by some measly sandwich. He's better than that. Though he thought that maybe by tasting it he could be able to figure out what your secret ingredient was, it's clear that isn't the case… This is a simple grilled cheese. He would have to go undercover to discover your cooking secrets.
***
“Heyyy Prefect!” A wry voice hums near the truck, belonging to no other than Ruggie. He knocked on the side of the window and Yuu poked out their head.
Azul watched from the distance, narrowing his eyes as he hyper-focused on the conversation. He admits the front of the Ramshackle dorms was a great location. Close to the botanical garden, close to the main building, not as far as Octavinelle either, and had most of the foot traffic. It's why he had his eye on it for a second location.
“Well if it isn't my number one customer, what can I get ya, let me guess a grilled cheese?” Of course, Ruggie would be their number one customer, which makes sense given his financial state. Figures. Maybe if he introduced a dollar menu…
“You know what Ruggie, you're cool. For you, it's 50 cents. Two for one if you will.” Ruggie pauses for a moment before smiling again. “Awe really? Sweet, can't up a deal like that shyehehehe!” The hyena cackles and you get to work. The window for the truck is fully open, allowing Azul to see in.
You aren't even hiding your cooking technique?! You're just giving all your secrets away like that?! Ohh you foolish fool… This would be easier than he thought.
He must get closer, to see what sort of fuckery is at play here. However, walking up and just watching you cook work is suspicious. As much as he hates to fund this little project… sacrifices must be made… He will have to order a grilled cheese…
Ruggie slinks off, tail wagging happily as he munches on his food. This was the perfect opportunity to approach. He stood up even straighter and approached with determination hidden poorly behind his attempt at a straight face. His scowl dared to seep through but he managed to smooth it out into his sickenly sweet facade.
“Hello, dear prefect!” He watched Yuu perk up through the window as they wiped down their workspace. They glanced over at Azul, completely unaware of his evil plot. “Heya Zuzu what can I get ya?”
Zuzu? That's awfully bold… whatever eyes on the prize… 
“I'd like one grilled cheese please if I may…” Hell yes. Smooth operator. He's so good at this.
“Mkay, coming right up.” Azul leans in closer as you get to work, memorizing everything you do… You just make a grilled cheese… Nothing special. It's just simple bread and cheese you cook in butter. How the hell? Was it the oven perhaps? Did you somehow know of his intentions and we're trying to conceal it?? Ugh, whatever maybe he can sucker you into another deal.
“... You know Prefect, if you just raised the price a bit you'd be bringing in more profits.” 
You shrugged as you pressed down your creation with your spatula to make it sizzle more. “Yeah, I know how money works.” Azul paused and blinked.
“So why don't you do it?” You shrug again. “It's funny.” Azul was perplexed, bamboozled, perhaps even smeckledorfed perchance. You were doing this for fun?! Starting a business for fun. Not for profit which would be beneficial given your situation, but for fun.
“Fun? Really? But prefect– wouldn't you– shouldn't you consider raising the prices even slightly? I mean after all Crowley hasn't been paying you well and if anything—”
“I should shoot you for the mere suggestion of raising the grilled cheese prices. The price is firm. It's never going up even by a cent. Hell, I'm so offended I may lower it.” You pulled the cheese off the grill and started to pack it up, swaddling it with such delicacy and love reserved for newborns.
Azul's mouth hung open for a bit before closing it. “Are you serious? Prefect— Yuu at this point I'm not even mad about the competition I'm– hrk!”  
“You need to relax a little Azul, for your own sake.” You shoved the grilled cheese out the window a bit more forcefully than you intended, making the unwrapped part hit Azul's glasses. The melty butter left grease marks on them, and through the blurriness, he could see your expression. His heart skipped a beat and sucked in a breath. Oh no.
He was in love.
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Text
Grand Line Crew Modern Au Gang!
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i hope yall enjoy, this took a while to get all together, here
ASL post
East Blue Crew post
Friends we made along the way 1 post
Friends we made along the way 2 post
i dont have many additional headcanons for this lot, but i did write a short story with them :) enjoy
Brook only wears the absolute grooviest of clothing at all times.
Brook only wears the absolute grooviest of clothing at all times.
Brook only wears the absolute grooviest of clothing at all times.
That’s just gonna have to be there 👆 tumblr likes to glitch out my posts.
Dont give chopper caffeine. He’ll either have a heart attack or operate on 5x speed, its a gamble every time.
robin and franky love watching home improvement shows, house hunters, how its made, myth busters, and other technical shows together.
When Luffy shows robin memes on his phone, she takes out her reading glasses and holds the phone like a mom does. Ya know that squint. You know.
Jinbei used to be a trucker and had a convoy with s bunch of his truckin’ buddies. They had matching leather jackets with “the sun truckers” embroidered on the back
Franky has a wig closet. It is vast. If you went in there you'd think you were in Narnia or something
Chopper is BEYOND CONVINCED that Sabo is a vampire.
One day, sabo volunteered as an assistant in a medical class chopper was taking. He was acting as chopper’s patient as he was learning the patient procedures of a checkup.
It was all going fine, chopper got all the patient identification out of the way and next was to acquire blood pressure, breath count, and heart rate. But the stethoscope and pressure monitor wasn’t working, and it make it seem like Sabo,,, didnt have a pumping heart,, or blood,,, or really breathed at all(he doesnt take very visible breaths).
Chopper was stricken with fear at this and assumed the absolute worse as he looked in horror at Sabo’s naturally pale complexion and long canine teeth. Chopper simply jotted down the average count of each recording instead of getting new equipment, and tried not to think about it, but
“huh, all of those numbers are usually lower than that. Maybe all that Special Concoction™ i drink is finally catching up to my heart rate.”
“how much have you.. drunk?”
“like for today? Or since I woke up.”
Chopper is fucking horrified. Sabo woke up to being a vampire and drinks blood as a special concoction. He cannot believe this.
”Never mind, I don't need to know, its all normal, you're normal.”
“Wow… that's the first time a medical practitioner has called me normal. My brothers are gonna get a real kick outta this.”
CHOPPER IS FUCKING HORRIFIED. HE HAS BRETHEREN??? Chopper just keeps his head down and finishes up the check up practice as Sabo remarks he has another class in the blood bank, which was lemon in the paper cut for chopper.
For a month or so after that day, Chopper didn’t see Sabo at all, and he forgot about his fear for a little while. However one night as chopper was hanging with Luffy and a few others in the straw hat friend group, there was a knock at the door. Chopper happily said “I’ll get it~” as the rest of the group continued in conversation.
Chopper skips over to the door and when he opens it, he sees the figure of Sabo standing in front of him. Tall and opposing, smiling a big toothy grin with bright blue eyes shining from the overhead lighting. He’s wearing a long trench coat with the collar popped and an ascot was wrapped around his neck.
What chopper was seeing before him.
Was the vampire.
He let out a scream right out of a horror film and promptly fainted.
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A minute or two later, he awoke laying on the couch, feet elevated and vest unbuttoned, to his friends looking at him from the foot of the couch.
He goes to stand up, but a strong gloved hand stops his movement and guides him back down
“Don't get up too quickly, little man.”
Chopper looked next to him and saw The Vampire. What was he doing in his house?!?!?
“Are you alright, bud? You opened the door for me, screamed in my face, and then passed out.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Chopper said with the highest voice-crack to word ratio in his entire life.
“Right. Well again, dont get up too quickly, if you need water or anything let your friends know. I just came here to pick up Luffy cuz some family stuff came up. Have a good night!”
“…you too, and thanks for taking care of me…”
“No prob!”
“One last question?” Inquired chopper.
“What's up?”
“Did someone invite you in?”
the end
PS: Sabo's "special concoction" consists of Red Bull and Espresso. He hasn't slept in 72 hours. This will have lasting effects on his health.
thats all for now! thanks for reading~
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yujisgirl · 5 months
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NEED more yuji friends istg
dont even know how tumblr works but i have multiple jjk imagines and drabbles written down (w my friends)...
anyway thinking about yuji sb and I have zero yuji stan friends so ill vomit it all over here </33
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
just wanna say hes the type of guy who would fuck while walking. like if you want water or something he would keep you on his cock and carry you to the kitchen istg he really does have abandonment issues with your cunt
"Yuji, let me drink ffs"
" :(( sorry babe you just feel so good, i don wanna let go"
and if you get tired he'd just hold you up with his own body
he'll b like <3 babe lets try different positions until we find the right one , and its just him fucking you over and over again. it’ll be the same sex position you’d tried just a few mins ago and when you point it out he'd be like :(( sorry i forgot
he definitely has a high sex drive
hes happy? fuck
hes sad? fuck
hes angry? fuck
hes bored? fuck
hes just plain obsessed with your cunt
he would also live in your boobs 24/7
like even if hes just scrolling on his phone his head HAS to be between your boobs
at first i thought his favourite position would be doggy style cus yk ass and all but imo he would also love riding just so he can latch his mouth on your boob the whole time
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
btw this isnt how i normally write 😭 im too horny to make it all pretty n all but I SWEAR i write longer and more precise stuff than this, im just testing this out
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zg0nuwa · 11 months
Note
Hey, hope you're fine...and i see that you're another fan for Miguel (we are) can you write the father day with his daughter and the reader as his wife please:(?....(i just hate my daddy issues)
★ best dad ever ! ⎯⎯
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i don't think you understand how much power you just gave me with this (i had like half of this written already but tumblr crashed and i was one step away from going into my joker era)
miguel o'hara x wife!reader
warnings ; angsty fluff, i tried experimenting with the spanish but i feel like i failed miserably, lowercase intended, i'm not a spanish speaker so you're free to correct me on the spanish.
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miguels work schedule was very unstable. there were times when he would be gone for the whole day and then there were times when he could spend most of the day at home. you understood, for the most part, he had the multiverse on his shoulders no matter how hard you wished for him to have a much less dangerous job. of course not everyone knew why he sometimes had to disappear for long periods of time.
and one of them was your daughter. all she knew was that " daddy does very important things and he has to go but he will always come back ".
this year, fathers day rolled up on a sunday which meant not only your daughter was home but also you. for your husband it was a little more complicated. he woke up in the middle of the night to a notification from lyla about another anomaly going nuts in the wrong universe. you loved the ai but in this particular moment you wanted to explode her with your mind.
" i'll be back before sunset, i promise " with that and a kiss on your forehead he left through the portal in your bedroom.
the next time you woke up that day was because of your daughter. she climbed onto your bed and started to shake you lightly with her small hands.
" mom? where’s daddy? " you opened your eyes to gabi hovering above you with her favorite plush animal pressed close to her chest. she had this disappointed expression on her small face. you knew it was because of miguel being gone. she planned this whole day for him, you even helped her organize everything.
" i’m sorry sweetheart… daddy had to go to work. " you pulled her in so her head was under your chin. she clung to you like a small koala bear as you played with her thick brown hair. definitely his genes.
" but, he promised he'll be back before your bedtime sooo, we can still make something special. what do you say about that? "
after a small argument about who gets the cooking part of preparations, which obviously ended with you being responsible for it, you and gabi got to work. as you were looking through your old mexican cuisine recipe book [ that you definitely didn’t bought only for miguel to feel more at home during meals ] you saw your dughter holding a box of artsy stuff.
" cariño, ¿qué estás haciendo allí? "
" making daddy a poster! it's going to say 'el mejor papa de todos'! " you couldn't help the big smile from appearing on your face. you knew how much time miguel put into teaching gabi spanish and it always warmed your heart when they sat down at the dining table and simply talked in spanish, your husband making little corrections in pronounciation or grammar from time to time. but no matter what he always looked as if he had hearts in his eyes.
you knew miguels work schedule was unstable and sometimes took him out of the house for a whole day, and you understood. but gabi not so much. so here you are, 10:48 pm on the clock and no sign of your husband. you spent the past two hours comforting her and promising her that it wasn't miguels fault and that he loved her. finally at around 11 pm she fell asleep in her bed. you turned off the cat shaped nightlamp and as quietly as possible closed the door to her room.
with a heavy sigh you went back to the kitchen to start cleaning everything up. while puting away food into the fridge you heard a specific glitching sound and you already knew who showed up home.
" you're late. " you weren't really mad at him , it was just tiring sometimes.
" i know, i'm sorry love... it's just - things got a little out of control. " you didn’t look at him and his first thought was to come behind you and hug your waist hoping it would make you feel even a little bit better. “ was there something that i forgot about today? is that why you’re angry? “
" i’m not angry, but your daughter is. she planned the whole fathers day for you. "
" ay, coño… " he sounded defeated, tired, and disappointed in himself. you pulled yourself away from him and came up to the poster gabi made, its was rolled in a tube to not spoil anything before the big reveal. you handed it to miguel with a tiny smile on your face. he was a bit confused for a second but he got the memo and rolled out the paper to it’s full extent. you could see the tears forming on his waterline as he chuckled. probably because of the spelling mistake made by gabi that you didn’t have the heart to point out.
" me and gabi made a deal for you, you have take us to the zoo tomorrow, and she demands that you let her piggyback the entire time to repay for your sins. "
" i guess there’s no other option. " he said with a smile.
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cariño, ¿qué estás haciendo allí? - honey, what are you doing there?
el mejor papa de todos - the greatest dad ever
ay, coño - oh, fuck
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bugboysgf · 1 year
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Me?
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Summary: You transfer to KISS for the the semester to be closer to Kitty but somebody catches your  eye….
AN: I just finished xo kitty an hour ago and looked on tumblr for fanfics but i couldn't find any so i wrote one myself. (kinda rushed so don't judge)
“Okay we should share this room together” you look up from your phone to see Kitty sitting on the bed.
“Okay cool.” you huffed. You were so nervous you've  never been miles away from your home before.
“Be happy your parents let you go this semester, it's a big deal.”
“I know…. I just don't speak Korean and I'm here. You've been here for one Semester already and you basically know everybody I transfer in the middle of the year.”
“But you were sad that you couldn't come to korea with me and my family now you are here coming to school with me.'' Kitty tried to get you to look at the bright side.
“Okay fine, so when can I meet your friends?” you asked
“Right now actually I'm pretty sure Min Ho, Q and Dae are at the dorm. You already met Julianna and yuri.” she grabs your hand and leads you to the boys dorms.
Your heart was beating the whole time, you had trouble making friends at school. Last semester you were all alone. Kitty was in Korea and she was your only friend. You were happy that you could be together now.
Kitty opens the door of the dorm and you both walk in.Then three pairs of eyes were on you. You kept your head low avoiding eye contact.
“Kitty! Your back!” a guy with curly hair hugs her. When they stop hugging he looks at you.
“Q this is y/n.”
“Hi nice to meet you.”
“Hi” you gave him a small smile. You notice another guy hugging her and you could tell who it was straight away, it was Dae.
“Good to see you in person and not a photo.” he smiles.
“Good to see you too Dae.” you said
“Please tell me you're not annoying like kitty is.” you look at the guy talking, he must be Min Ho, he's the only one you haven't met.
“I- l- don't think i am?” you say more as a question. The first thing you noticed was how attractive he was, you knew you couldn’t like him, you promised not to focus on boys. You look at a Kitty and you can tell she's on it already. She knows, she always knows.
“One thing I can say for certain is that you're prettier than a Kitty.” he looks at the Kitty with a shit eating grin.
“Haha, so funny.” Kitty glared at him “and don't flirt with my friend.'' Kitty flicks him off as he walks back to his room.
“He wasn't flirting with me” you came to his defense.
“He definitely was.” Q said.
“Sadly she doesn't know what flirting is, the last guy that flirted with her she said he was being nice but he was checking her out and telling her how pretty she was!”
“He was just being nice!”
—-
It wasn't a secret that you knew nothing about guys or how to talk to them. The only thing you knew about love was reading Harry Styles fanfics in the 6th grade. But Kitty knew everything she was a love expert and she only had one boyfriend. She makes you believe that the right one could be anywhere you just have to believe.
“Okay i'm ready.” you came out of the room. Kitty looks at you and frowns.
“Yea no. You are not wearing that.”
“What's wrong with it?” you look down at your outfit. You thought it looks good for the welcome back party.
“Did you forget that Min ho is going to be there? You can't show up with that on. You need something that makes a statement.”
“I've only said like three words to him, he doesn't like me.”
“Oh trust me he does, i've never seen him look at somebody like he does with you. Now change into this.” she hands you one of her dresses. You hold it up in the air, you couldn't say no to kitty she doesn't take no for an answer anyways.
“I can't believe I'm wearing this and I look good.” you said fixing your dress.
“Told you. He's here…look!" Kitty pointed to Min ho. “I'm going to leave now” Kitty got up from her seat when Min ho started walking towards you.
“Kitty what, no.” you tried to stop her while she was already walking away. You started to panic how were you going to talk to this attractive guy, that is way out of your league.
“Is anybody sitting here?” Min Ho said.
“Here? Oh no. no one. Sit.” you said a little too quickly, you were shaking your leg to try to calm down.
“Are you okay?” he put his hand on your thigh, you didn't answer, you looked at his hand on your thigh then looked back up at him. Your eyes were wide, heart beating faster than it was before.
“Oh sorry” he took his hand off of your thigh “So why did you come to kiss?” He continue talking like nothing happened.
“To be closer to Kitty she's like my only friend and also she said it was nice here so…”
“I mean it is, if you ever want me to show you around i could.” he offered. You shook your head and laughed. “What is it?” you could tell he was sort of offended.
“Nothing Kitty just told me you were a pain in the ass, but you're actually nice.”
“Of course, nice to pretty girls like you.” he smiled. Kitty told you that he thought he was the hot shit, and you hated that in guys but for some reason you just found yourself attractive to him.
“Thanks, you're not too bad yourself.” you nudged him
2 weeks later
“First A+ of the semester.” you danced with kitty.
“And we did it together.” kitty said “hows you and Min ho by the way, you haven't been talking about him”
“Nothing, I think we are just friends but I don't really know when somebody likes me.”
“I see it he definitely does just go for it i mea-” kitty stops talking when she sees you looking  at a text on your phone “your smiling it's him!”
“I have to go tutor Min ho bye.” you grab your backpack and open the door.
“Remember what I said!” Kitty yells.
“I will!”
“Done” Min ho hands you a paper. You look at the paper and realize most of the answers are wrong.
“Min ho you forgot to subtract.” you told him, you've been telling him this for the last 3 days and he keeps forgetting.
“Sorry I keep getting distracted.”
“Is it your phone? Turned it off.” you reach for his phone but he grabs it before you can.
“No it's this girl.”
“A girl?” you look up at him not sure what to say next.
“Yes this girl, i want to ask her on a date but i'm not sure if she likes me. She gives me mixed signals. What should I do?” he asks.
“Oh um.” you know right now you need to not sound jealous. “Just ask her out, if she says no then she's missing out.”
“Alright… will you go out with me?” you look at him stunned.
“Me. why?” you say confused you're not sure what to say, nobody has ever asked you out before.
“Because I like you.” He says like its so obvious.
“Me?  You like me? Is this a prank?” you look around to see if people are looking at you but nobody is.
“No? Why would it be a prank? Do you not like me back?” “I do.. I've just never been on a date before.” you confessed.
“Then i'll be your first.” he smiles and holds your hand.
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moonlightspencie · 1 year
Text
Wrong Time
Description: Dean doesn’t know how to act right. Sam doesn’t get the animosity. Reader is just trying to live life. Otherwise known as Mutual Pining: the Fanfic.
Pairing: jealous!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader, platonic!Sam Winchester x fem!Reader
Warnings: jealous dean :), minor angst, spells and other supernatural things, plenty of fluff
Word Count: 6.6k
A/N: originally posted on tumblr like 3 years ago (rip in peace to the like 3k notes it had). then posted to ao3. now it’s back on tumblr.
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I walked into the bunker after Sam and Dean, throwing my bag down as soon as my feet hit the floor. I shuffled into the library, noticing Castiel at a table on a laptop.
“How was the hunt?” He looked up at me.
“It was crap,” Dean answered gruffly. I took a chance look at him, and he shot me a glare that could kill. “I’m taking a shower.”
Sam watched his brother stalk past. “I— it was… Fine. I mean, something almost went wrong, but we all ended up okay.”
Cas nodded slowly. Then he noticed my expression. “Are you okay, (Y/N)? You look unwell.”
“It was my fault.”
“(Y/N)—” Sam started.
“No, Sam, I mean— I was stupid. I almost got myself killed. I would have been if Dean didn’t find me first.”
“Still wasn’t your fault, we all make mistakes.”
“What do you mean you almost got killed?” Cas interjected.
I huffed a sigh, sitting next to him. Sam took a seat across from me.
“Well, we walked into the vamp nest, and started going to town. It seemed like it’d be pretty easy to take care of, but then I heard a boy crying. I went to go look for him, and— and I saw him. He was in another room, probably about 15, 16 years old. I didn’t think anything of it and went to go help him, but he… I was wrong. He was turned, just trying to get his prey to come to him, apparently.”
Cas furrowed his brow. “What happened? Are you alright?”
I absentmindedly scratched at the table.
“I am now, I guess. I set down my machete like a fricken idiot, letting my guard down, and he jumped me. I tried grabbing it to fight him off, but he kicked it out of my grip. I thought it was the end of the line until Dean came barging in and got him off me. I was so stupid, he’s pissed.”
Sam reached across, brushing his thumb over the knuckles of my now-closed fist. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We got out okay. It was just a mistake.”
“And Dean—,” Cas began, “He is… It will be alright.”
He gave a kind smile as he said this. I tried one back at him before standing up and giving a quick goodnight. As I walked to my room, I hovered by Dean’s door before thinking better of it. I hated when he was angry with me, but figured I better not upset him more by barging in on his alone time. I hated when any of the boys acted coldly towards me, but Dean’s always cut the deepest for some reason. I wouldn’t let myself think on why that is for more than a few seconds, though. I walked to my room, changing into an oversized t-shirt and flopping onto my bed, essentially passing out.
I woke up in a cold sweat, tears wetting my face. I sat straight up, trying to catch my breath. My fingers gripped the sheets as I tried to keep my cool, but to no avail. I got out of bed, walking out of my room, and heading a few doors down. I knocked quietly before entering.
“Hello?” I spoke, voice wavering. I walked towards the sleeping figure, gently nudging his shoulder. “Sam?”
He rolled over, slowly opening his eyes. “(Y/N)? What’s going on?”
I wrung my hands.
“I— I had a nightmare. I can’t be alone right now,” I said, trying to hold back tears.
“Oh. Oh, okay, yeah, come here,” He replied, sitting up and scooting over. I sat next to him, pulling the covers over my legs as he threw an arm around me. “You alright?”
“I don’t know.” I leaned into him. “It was about the hunt. Except, it wasn’t me. I mean, I still went and found the boy, but, um, when Dean came in this time he— the kid knew somehow, and attacked. I tried helping, but I couldn’t move, and then… Then they, they got him. And it was my fault. He died.”
I noticed a few tears had escaped my eyes, and I rubbed at them quickly.
Sam hugged me into his side. “I’m sorry. That’s really tough.”
I nodded.
He continued, “But, you know, it was just a dream. We all got out, we’re all okay.”
“I know, but what if we didn’t? It would’ve been on me, it would be my fault.”
“There is always a “what if” when we do the things we do, and focusing on that is only going to cause you pain. Don’t do that to yourself,” Sam sighed, laying down and taking me with him. “Dean just needs to let this go, don’t let his attitude make you feel stupid.”
I nodded again. “Thanks, Sammy.”
“Anytime, kiddo. Now, let’s go to sleep. C’mere.”
He pulled me into his chest, letting the hand that wasn’t around my shoulder rest near my rib cage. I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew I was waking to Sam’s snoring in my ear. We’d separated during the night, but my head was still against his arm, our legs still caught up together. This put me in a predicament as I tried to move away from him without waking him. I somehow managed to wiggle out of bed, and land on my feet; thankfully Sam was a surprisingly deep sleeper. I tiptoed to the door, slowly and carefully opening it and backing out. I shut it as quietly as I could, and turned around to see Dean walking towards me, looking down at his phone, only a few feet off.
“Morning,” I greeted him.
His steps faltered slightly as he looked up. “Morning.”
His expression changed from tiredness to confusion in an instant. He furrowed his brow, looking at me, then to the door I had just stepped out from.
“I’m making pancakes. If you want some, they’ll be ready in twenty.”
I smiled, nodding a thank you before he squeezed past me towards the kitchen.
‘He’s not mad at me!’ I thought to myself.
I went into the bathroom, taking a quick shower. I wrapped a towel around myself, and headed towards my room to get dressed. We had a day in, so I decided on a fresh pair of pajama shorts and another t-shirt. The smell of pancakes drifted through the bunker, and as soon as I stepped out of my door that smell carried me all the way to the kitchen. I stopped in the entrance, watching Dean for a moment. He stood at the stovetop, watching and flipping the pancakes as necessary. I watched the way his arms and shoulders moved until his simple gray tee, and how delicately his hands held the spatula. Then he turned and noticed me.
“Hey,” he said, taking the plate-full to the counter.
He was getting a little scruffy, having not yet shaved since a couple mornings ago. He looked tired, but peaceful. He looked handsome. I chewed my bottom lip, finally stepping into the small room.
“Hey. That smells amazing.”
I walked near him as he grabbed two plates, throwing a few pancakes on each. He handed me one, and we both went to work preparing them with with butter and syrup. I was about to take mine to the table, when his hand shot in front of mine.
“I’ll take these if you want to grab the coffee pot.”
He looked down at me, the sides of his lips just barely tilting up into a smile, and I felt a familiar flutter in my heart.
“Yeah, of course,” I said, then turned quickly to grab the coffee and two mugs, trying to push down that feeling as far as it could go.
I shuffled closer to him as he sat at one side of the table. I placed the mugs in front of the plates, filling each of them and setting the pot at the end of the table. I sat across from Dean, digging in immediately.
“Okay, wow.” I shoved another forkful in my mouth. “These… These are genuinely amazing. You shook cook more often.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I got a few tricks up my sleeve. What about you, though? Anytime you bake anything I lose my mind.”
“Guess I just have that effect on people,” I shrugged laughing.
“Yeah, you’re not kidding.” He smirked and glanced up, locking eyes with me for a moment that felt like forever. I looked away first.
“Um— about… About yesterday, Dean, I—”
He cut me off, throwing a hand up. “Just— Let’s just drop it. Okay?”
I nodded, looking down. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
He took in a deep breath before things went silent for a while. We both were nearly finished when Sam came in the room, as much a morning person as ever.
“Morning, guys!” He smiled.
I couldn’t help but let out half a laugh at his cheerfulness. “You are way too excited in the mornings.”
He smiled my way.
Dean got up abruptly. “I’m gonna go work on Baby.”
As soon as he was out of the room, Sam raised an eyebrow at me. “He always goes out there when he’s upset. Did something happen? You two looked fine when I came in.”
I shook my head. “I tried talking to him about yesterday. Guess that was a mistake.”
Sam’s lips tightened. “Yikes, I’m sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. At least he let me eat his pancakes.” I smiled.
Sam laughed, “Yeah, guess that’s a start.”
We went about our day as usual; Sam worked out and looked up cases, Cas helped with case searches, Dean spent most of his day in the garage, and I decided on a movie marathon. Before long, it was later than I realized and I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in!”
Sam poked his head around the door. “What’s up? You’ve been in your room all day.”
“Oh, no worries. Just a movie marathon. Harry Potter, wanna join?”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
He stepped inside, closing the door behind him, and fell belly-down on the bed next to me. We watched about half of the 6th movie before we stopped watching altogether. We talked and laughed all night long until we were passed out together. This time, I woke up again to Sam’s gentle snoring, but we were much closer. His right arm was once again under my head, but his left was wrapped tightly around me, and his chest pressed into my back. Admittedly, it was a bit strange, but on a cold morning, not unwelcome. I gently rubbed his forearm, trying to wake him.
“Sammy, get up. You’re trapping me here, pal.”
He groaned sleepily, hugging me just a little tighter before he opened his eyes and realized what he was doing. “Oh crap, I’m sorry.”
I laughed, “Dont worry about it. You were keeping me warm.”
He hummed, “Well in that case, you wanna go back to sleep for a little bit?”
“Fine. Five more minutes and then we get up.”
I giggled as he pulled me back in, nearly squeezing the life out of me for a moment.
“You know, as weird as this is, it feels nice to have a cuddle-buddy,” Sam breathed out.
“Hey, at least it’s nothing too scandalous,” I chuckled, eyes closed.
Then I heard a knock at the door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Castiel’s voice rang through the closed door.
“What do ya need?” I answered back. Then I heard the door open, and looked up.
He started stepping in, but stopped dead in his tracks. “I, uh— Oh. Pardon me, I seem to be interrupting.”
“Cas—” I tried getting his attention but he’d already showed himself out the door. “Crap.”
Sam chuckled, I felt it in his chest. “That’s gonna be a fun one to explain.”
I sighed. “Hopefully he doesn’t go running his mouth so it’s an easy one to explain.”
I laid with him for a few minutes longer before my bladder called for release. “Sam, we gotta get up, man. I gotta pee.”
He groaned. “I don’t want to.”
“Whoa, what happened to happy-go-lucky, I-love-being-up-in-the-mornings Sam?” I half laughed.
“He’s tired,” he grunted out, rolling over.
I flipped to my back as he stole his arm from beneath my head, and sat up. I looked over to see him struggling to get up himself, but my urgency for the bathroom left no time for me to help him up. I bolted out the door to the bathroom and relieved myself, thinking of how to explain to Cas that what he saw was not at all what he thought it was. I ended up back in my room, finding Sam staring into space still sitting on the edge of my bed.
“You alright, Sammy?” I suppressed a smile.
His head shot up. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was zoning out.”
I nodded, throwing a thumb over my shoulder. “You wanna go grab breakfast?”
“That sounds great.”
We left the room together, chatting on our way to the kitchen. Then, I nearly lost balance running into Cas.
“Oh, hey! We wanted to talk to you,” Sam said, tapping Cas’s arm with the back of his hand
He put his hands up, defensively. “No worries. I understand.”
I dragged my hand on the side of my face. “No, but you don’t. I know you caught us looking a little precarious, but trust me, we just fell asleep together. We were watching Harry Potter and passed out.”
His eyes widened. “Oh, okay. I was sure you two were sleeping together.”
I laughed, “Yeah, no. Not by a long shot, man.”
“Alright, well that definitely clears things up for me. I will see you later.”
“Seeya, don’t get into any trouble.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about me,” he smiled, walking past.
Sam and I entered the kitchen soon after, finding Dean alone with a cup of coffee and a computer.
“Morning, sunshine.” Sam joked.
I walked over to him, leaning an arm on the table next to him, peering at the screen. “Found a case?”
He nodded silently, not looking up.
“Well?” Sam pressed, peeling a banana. “Care to enlighten us?”
Deans jaw ticked for a moment before he spoke gruffly, “Looks like a ghost. Strange, but similar, deaths happening at an old motel. So far three of ‘em.”
I took the seat next to him. “Where at?”
He pointed at the screen. “Plainfield, Wisconsin.”
I perked up, grabbing his arm for a moment. “Hey, that’s where Ed Gein committed all his murders!”
“Dude, yeah!” Sam joined in. “That guy was messed up.”
Dean huffed. “Well aren’t you two just perfect for each other. Be ready in half an hour.”
He got up, slamming the laptop shut and stalking out of the room.
I looked to Sam, confused. “What the hell is his problem?”
He shook his head, “No clue.”
I shook my head, slightly irritated. “Guess we gotta go get ready now.”
I walked out of the kitchen, going in the direction of my room. I stepped inside, pulling a duffel bad from my closet and throwing in at least enough clothes for a week, not knowing how long we’d be gone. After I was packed, I decided on a quick shower. I put my hair up into a topknot so I wouldn’t have to wash and dry it, and took the fastest shower I could. I finished getting ready a few minutes early, and grabbed all my things. I was going to throw it all in the car and wait for the boys, until my irritation got the best of me. I walked to Dean’s room, knocking on the door.
He answered harshly, “What.”
“It’s me, can I come in.”
“I guess.”
I flung the door open to find Dean standing there in the midst of getting dresssed. He was at his closet, so far only having his jeans and a tight-fit tee on, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I couldn’t catch my breath for a moment. How in the world could he look so good rocking the simplest of things?
He pulled a flannel of a hanger, the deep red one that I liked. “What do you need?”
“I want to know what’s wrong.”
He turned to face me, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. “Nothing. Is that all?”
I crossed my arms. “You may do a lot of lying for the job, but you’re kind of the worst at it sometimes.”
He shot me a glance, unenthused. “Nothing is wrong. Let’s move on. We got stuff to do.”
“Dean.”
“(Y/N),” he shot back, staring for a second before going about his business.
I clenched my jaw. “I’m gonna find out sooner or later.”
He huffed out, almost a laugh, as he threw things into his bag. “Yeah. Sure.”
I turned on my heel, leaving the room, everything in me fighting against my urge to slam the door behind me. He really knew how to push my buttons, more than anyone else sometimes. The boys were finally ready and came out into the garage where I was waiting. I pushed myself off the side of the impala, getting in the car. Dean flew out of the garage, heading straight for the highway. Most of the car ride was silent, only the faint sounds of Dean’s music over the speakers. Then he had to open his mouth.
“So, you two are sleeping together now, huh?”
I almost choked, head whipping to the side to look at Sam. He did the same, glancing at me, confusion set in his face.
“What? Dean, no, why—”
“You two seemed to be getting pretty cozy the past couple nights,” he answered back, staring straight at the road.
I scoffed. “Excuse me?”
“I saw you coming out of his room yesterday morning, (Y/N), don’t act dumb. And Cas told me he walked in on you all over each other this morning.”
“That was not what was happening. We saw him this morning and explained it all. We just fell asleep watching a movie together.”
“And the night before?”
Sam spoke up, “(Y/N) had a nightmare, Dean. She couldn’t be alone.”
“What, so you slept together?” His hands held tightly to the steering wheel.
“Yes, and that’s all we did. Sleep. Nothing more, we don’t feel like that about each other.”
He bitterly laughed. “Doesn’t seem like it.”
“Dean, seriously.”
“Fine. We’ll drop it.”
I huffed out a breath. “Thank you.”
The rest of the ride was quiet. We only made one or two stops for gas and bathroom breaks. It took us about 10 hours before we arrived in Plainfield and searched for a place to stay the night. We finally found a little motel just outside of town, and booked a room. Luckily, a pull-out couch was included so I wouldn’t have to give Dean more ideas about Sam and I, and I wouldn’t have to spend the night beside someone who was pissed at me for no reason. I walked in the room to find it perfectly adequate. and I threw my bag down on the floor, beginning to open up the pull-out.
“What are you doing?” Sam asked as he came inside. “I can take that, don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not making you take the couch, Sam.”
“It pulls out into a bed at least. And you aren’t making me if I’m offering. Now, move your crap.”
He nodded at my duffel.
I sighed as dramatically as I could, “Fine.”
“So dramatic.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, I gotta be sometimes. Thank you, though.”
I pulled my bag away, walking to the far bed as throwing it down. I began unzipping it when I heard the thud of Dean’s duffel hitting the second bed behind me. I turned.
“What are we doing first?”
He glanced up at me. “Thought we’d check out the murder scene early tomorrow.”
“Alright. All three of us need to get dressed up?”
“Whoever wants to go.” He shrugged.
“I think I’ll hang back and do some more research on the town and possible leads, if that’s okay with you guys,” Sam said, setting his laptop on the small table in the room.
“Okay,” Dean answered, pulling out his ‘FBI’ suit to hang.
We went to bed, all exhausted from the trip. I woke up at 7 the next morning to Dean’s alarm blaring. We all ate a quick breakfast before getting ready to leave. I grabbed my suit, heading to the bathroom to change, and kicking myself for not being the one to stay at the motel. I didn’t know how I’d handle being alone with Dean, especially when he was in a mood. I changed quickly, making sure I looked professional enough to fool whoever we’d have to get past. I stepped out to see that Dean had already left the room.
I looked to Sam who had already got his computer up and running. “Where’d he go?”
“Waiting by the car outside,” he said, not looking up.
“Thanks.”
I walked across the room, stepping outside. Dean stood leaning against ththe impala, his back to me as I made my way over.
He heard my footsteps and turned. “Took you long enough.”
I stopped for a moment. Wow, he looks amazing right now.
“Gonna get in?” He asked.
“Oh. Yeah.”
I shook my head, opening the passenger door and sliding inside. He started up the car, and took off out of the parking lot.
“So,” he started, “you’re not sleeping together?”
“Dean. Seriously?”
He shrugged. “Can’t blame me for thinking so, you two spend a lot of time together.”
I looked over at him. “Yeah, that’s kind of what friends do.”
“We don’t do that.” He shot me a quick glance, raising an eyebrow.
“Give me a time and place and we will, then.”
He tried to hide the smirk that appeared on his face. “Yeah, sure.”
“What? Don’t want rumors spreading about me and you?”
“Sweetheart, you don’t want those rumors.”
“Who said that?” I furrowed my brows, the corner of my mouth twitching upwards.
He smiled at me. Butterflies, again.
We drove a few more minutes into town before we reached our destination. I peered at the building through the windshield as we drove up. It was creepy. Caution tape everywhere, the old run-down motel, the cloudy skies; it looked straight out of a horror movie. Dean parked the car, and we got out, walking to the police officer that was waiting on his team inside. We flashed him our badges and he let us past.
“I’m surprised no murders happened here before this,” Dean said quietly, leaning in.
I laughed. “Yeah, not the nicest of places for sure.”
He hummed in agreement. “Let’s see if we got any Casper activity.”
He took out his EMF detector, walking around the room, being careful not to step in any of the dried blood. He took a lap; no readings.
“Huh. Nothing here.”
I glanced around. “What the hell would’ve done all of this though?”
“Dunno. Judging by how all of the blood left their bodies and ended up friggen everywhere else, I could’ve sworn it would be one of those suckers.”
I nodded. “Wanna try to hospital?”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
We spent the day gathering as many clues and evidence as we could, to no avail. By nightfall, we decided to call it a day and head back to our room. We got inside to find Sam taking a nap.
Dean whispered to me, “I’m gonna take a shower.”
I nodded. He went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I decided to get dressed in something more comfortable and landed on a pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt. Can’t get more laid back than that.
I sat on my bed for a moment before I heard Sam moving around. I looked his way as he opened his eyes.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” I said.
He smiled. “Hey. You guys find anything useful?”
“Figure it’s probably not a ghost. Other than that, nope.”
“Mm.” He sat up, stretching before he stood. He walked over to me, taking a seat by my side and swinging an arm over my shoulders. “I didn’t find anything either. Not even connections between the people who died.”
“So weird.”
He agreed, falling back on the bed and taking me down with him. “Yeah. I’m sure something will turn up, though. It has to.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“You wanna go out tonight?”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m beat. I didn’t get my nap today.” I laughed.
He snorted, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re no fun.”
Then we heard the door open, Dean stepped out.
“What about you? You wanna go out tonight?” Sam asked him.
“I’m good,” he said without so much as a glance our way.
Sam sat up. “Man, both of you? Since when am I the one to go out alone?”
I chuckled, sitting up next to him. “Since now, apparently. Go, though! Have fun enough for all of us.” I nudged his shoulder.
He shrugged getting up to get ready. Then I heard the tv switch on, and looked over to Dean. There he sat, on his bed, flipping through channels.
“What are you gonna watch?” I asked.
He stared silently at the tv and shrugged. Here we go again.
I heaved out a heavy sigh, pulling out my phone to fiddle on. Sam came out of the bathroom with a new shirt on, and what smelled like a little bit of cologne. I looked up from my device as he pulled his shoes on.
“Who are you trying to impress, sir?”
He smirked. “We’ll have to find out. I’ll see you guys later.”
He left the room, leaving me and Dean to ourselves. I looked over at him again as he settled on an old comedy. He noticed.
“What?” He asked, eyes still unmoving from the movie.
“Your attitude is what.”
“I don’t have an attitude.”
I scoffed. “Oh, sure. We were fine working the case today, and now you’re acting like I stole all of your leftovers or something.”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Funny how you keep saying that, and then end up in the same crappy mood again. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?”
“I can’t.” He grew impatient.
“Yes, you can.”
He sat up, finally looking at me. “No. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because, I just can’t. It’s stupid, you wouldn’t understand it.”
He stared at me.
“Maybe I would if you’d just talk to me!” My voice raised slightly.
“Why do you even care?” His voice raised to match mine.
“Why do you think? I care about you, and I hate it when you’re mad at me.”
He closed his eyes. “I’m not mad at you.”
“Then what is the problem?” I leaned forward, searching his face for an answer.
He sighed, voice lowering. “Can we— maybe we can talk about it tomorrow. Just— not tonight, please.”
I shrunk back. “Fine. Promise me.”
He tilted his head with a blank stare.
“I’m serious, Dean. Promise me.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Okay. I promise. You’re a pain, you know that?”
I shrugged. “You’ll get over it.”
He stared for a moment, my heart fluttering until he looked away again. He laid down, turning off the tv. I laid back too, turning off the lights.
“Goodnight,” he said, turning over.
“Goodnight.”
I woke up to sunlight hitting my face through the window. I glanced towards the couch; no Sam. Then my eyes went to Dean. He was still sleeping. I watched him for a moment; he looked so at peace. The lines in his face were smoothed out, no worries were apparent on him. His eyelids began to move, but I couldn’t pull my gaze from his face. He looked handsome in the early morning hours, his eyelashes delicately fluttering until his eyes were opened. He noticed me and smiled.
“Way to be creepy, watching me sleep.”
His voice was deep and soft and full of sleep.
I smiled back, “You looked so peaceful, I couldn’t help it.”
“I bet you say that to all the guys.”
I laughed. “Nah, only the special ones.”
He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “I don’t want to beat up monsters today.”
“If we can’t find out what’s killing people, you might not have to.”
“That isn’t a good option either.”
“I know.” I yawned, stretching out. “Guess Sammy found a girl.”
Dean looked over his shoulder at the empty space. “Oh.”
“You still believe we’re together now?” I raised my eyebrows.
He looked back towards me. “I might, might, have been wrong there.”
“Told ya.”
He smirked, shaking his head. “We better get the day going.”
I agreed. We fully woke up and grabbed some breakfast from a cafe down the street. We went back to the motel to find Sam in the shower, and our day went on as normal from that point on, until we found the clues we needed to lead us to the killer.
“A witch? Oh, come on, I’m so sick of them,” I complained.
Sam shrugged. “Hey, we found hex bags in each of the rooms. Most likely the owner of the motel, or someone who works there.”
“Maybe a maid? It’s always the butler, so maybe it’s always the maid too,” Dean suggested with a sly smirk.
“That, as lame as it is, actually could be a really great place to start,” I responded. “Let’s pack up and find out who’s been cleaning the place up.”
We went and questioned the owner to find out which employees had been working when the murders took place, and landed on only one housekeeper: a man named Ken. We got his address and decided to do a little questioning. We arrived to his house, and Sam knocked loudly.
The door creaked open. “Hello?”
“Hello, we’re with the FBI, we have some questions to ask you,” Sam responded, flashing his badge.
The man behind the door, opened it a little wider. He grinned. “Yeah, I’m sure you are.”
He looked to me.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
Dean stepped halfway in front of me before I could say anything. “You might want to watch yourself, you’re suspect for the murders that took place the night you were working at the motel.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Oh? Why don’t you come inside, then.”
He stepped just inside and he shut the door behind us.
“Anyways,” he began, “I’ve always wanted to meet the Winchester’s.”
Before we knew what was happening, our bodies flew up against the wall and landed on the ground harshly. We all attempted to scramble up, but as I attempted to stand, I felt a hand wrap around my neck. Ken pulled me backwards into him.
“Let her go,” Dean boomed.
Ken chuckled. “See, that’s where you’re making your mistake. Your little protective act only lets me know that your little girlfriend, here, is valuable to you. So, you might not like it if I just—”
He dropped me, and I felt my legs give out. It felt like all the air had been pulled from my lungs— No, it felt like I didn’t have lungs. I couldn’t breathe.
“You son of a—”
Thud!
Dean was slammed against the wall again. I watched from the ground where I lay as Sam attempted to go at him, but then it all went black.
I woke with a gasp, my body flying upwards in shock. I breathed heavily, finally catching my breath for the first time in what felt like eternity.
“Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you’re okay.”
I heard a voice, foggy. I turned my head quickly, finding Dean right next to me. Wait, no, he was holding me. We were someplace else, maybe in the house still? I heard distant voices. I felt tired.
“I… think I… need a nap,” I said, barely hearing myself speak.
“Whoa, no, no, don’t fall asleep, okay? Just— Here, just look at me. Look here, stay awake,” he spoke to me as I tried to listen.
My eyes still felt heavy.
“But— I’m tired. Just a… Just a nap.”
“No, (Y/N), don’t fall asleep yet, okay? We gotta make sure you’re alright.”
“What… Where are we?”
“In the house of a very bad witch.” I heard a woman’s voice. I looked up to see red hair. “I mean, come on now, I was able to fix you right up quite easily.”
“Yeah, thank you, by the way,” Sam said to Rowena, a tight smile accompanied his words. My vision began clearing.
“What are you doing here? What happened?” I cleared my throat, trying to sit up to find Dean’s chest hard against my back. I noticed his arms around me, too. I ran my fingers over one of his forearms, happy to be there. Then I realized there were two other staring at me, trying to communicate. I stopped and tried to listen.
“—and then, well, you’re lucky Sam had enough sense to call me when he realized what you’d be dealing with, otherwise, my dear, you’d be dead. Hmm.”
“Oh. How’d we get away, though?”
“It was really all me, of course.” She smiled, pleased with herself. “You’d have really been in trouble otherwise, too, with Dean letting his jealously get the best of him and punching someone in the face.”
“Yeah, well, the douche bag deserved it.” I felt him speak, the bass in his voice vibrating in his chest. “He was getting too handsy with her.”
“I would have gotten him away quicker if you hadn’t made him even more angry, Mr. Winchester,” Rowena sassed. “Anyways, I’ve got things to do more important than speaking with you two giants and the wee fuzzy-brained girl. Toodleloo.”
She picked up her dress and walked out of the house. I liked her.
“I like her,” I giggled.
I started feeling funny. Almost drunk, maybe more giddy.
“Can’t say I feel exactly the same,” Dean said.
“Regardless, she did save us there,” Sam responded.
I laughed, “Yeah, she’s fun.”
“I would’ve gotten him,” Dean continued his conversation with Sam.
“Dean, we all would’ve been in trouble if she wasn’t here. Even you’ve gotta admit to that.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He reached into his pocket for the keys, throwing them at Sam. “Here, go start the car.”
“Alright, hurry it up,” Sam said as he left.
I leaned my head up to look at Dean. “So, you were jealous, huh?”
“I am not. I just didn’t want his grimy hands on you, now come on, let’s get you back to the hotel.”
I felt movement as he began to move from behind me. I tried to stand up, but before I could, I felt his arms swing underneath me. He picked me up, and carried me out the door. I held onto his neck, enjoyed time in close proximity to him and wishing I could just tell him how I felt about him. If I could even figure it out for myself. He sat me in the backseat, helping me buckle in before we took off. Soon enough, we were back at the motel and Sam decided to go on a dinner-run. Dean and I entered the room alone, he helped me to walk until I could sit down.
“Here, just sit here,” he said, helping me to rest on the edge of his bed. He moved around me, squatting down between my legs and looking up at me. “Are you okay?”
I tilted my head, looking at him looking at me. “Yeah.”
He let out half a laugh. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shrugged, a contented smile on my face. “You’re cute.”
“(Y/N)—”
“I figured out why you’ve been so grumpy,” I cut him off, unable to stop from speaking.
He put his hands on the bed on either side of my legs. “Why’s that?”
“I think you didn’t like me and Sam.”
“I already told you I wasn’t mad at—”
“No, no, no. You didn’t like us together. You were being jealous. Like with the weird witch man. Rowena said so, and she’s smart.” I giggled.
He raised an eyebrow, gulping. “Uh, let me get you some water. Maybe that’ll help.”
“I’m right.”
“Now’s not the time to talk about this stuff, (Y/N), let’s just—”
“Uh uh. You said we’d talk about it today.”
“We can, later.”
He tried getting up, but I put my hands on his shoulders.
“But I like you, I wanna talk now.”
“This is just the spell wearing off, if you just—”
I sighed harshly. “No it’s not, stop it. I like you a lot. You’re so cute and you give me butterflies and make me nervous and make me smile a lot and all I can think about is you all the time.”
“(Y/N)…” he started, eyebrows knit together.
“I’m not saying it because of the spell, okay?” I started rambling. “I mean, I always feel that way, but I didn’t want to say anything. You know, I was kind of scared. Now, it kinda seems like maybe you feel the same way, and I just want to know, otherwise this is gonna be really awkward when I’m not feeling all weird and giddy and I jus—”
Before I knew what was happening I felt his lips on mine. I felt shocked. I took a moment to gather my wits, but I seemed to take a moment too long. He pulled away.
“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to force that on you, I thought you wanted…” He trailed off, a hand going to rub at his face. I reached out, pulling it away from his face. He looked up at me, apprehensive.
“Trust me, I wanted it,” I confirmed before leaning back in as quickly as I could.
His hands moved up to settle at my waist as he smiled into the kiss. I held his jaw in my hands, pulling him in as closely as I could. I never wanted that kiss to end, but it had to soon, as we needed air. Our foreheads rested against each other.
“I have wanted to do that for so long,” I whispered.
He laughed. “I’m just happy to know that Sam wasn’t the one doing it. Because you were so right, I was definitely jealous.”
“Knew it.” I giggled.
He hummed, pulling away from me. We looked at one another for a minute, taking it all in. I let my hand reach back up to his face, my thumb brushing against his cheek, looking at all the freckles that dusted his face.
I sighed, happy. “You wanna go again?”
He chuckled, a smile on his face. “Oh, for sure.”
I slapped the bed next to me, and he scrambled up, facing me. His arms immediately snaked around my middle, pulling me in tight. I held on to his neck, gazing up at him.
“You good?” He asked, a smile stuck on his face.
“More than.” I nodded, grinning.
He pressed his lips to mine, wasting no time. We stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying our time together and hoping it would never end. Until the door swung open.
“Whoa, walked in at the wrong time,” Sam exclaimed, closing the door as quickly as he shut it.
Dean and I looked at each other. He shrugged, “Whoops.”
I laughed, and he pulled me back in.
(EDIT: starting taglists now! let me know if you want to be on any!)
FULL MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE
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icameheretoreadstuff · 7 months
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Fucking Tease
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Pairing: Zoro x F!Reader Warnings: 18+ ! MDNI!, NSFW, Smut, Public, Handjob, Sexual Tension, Rough, unprotected Smut, Big dick kink, almost busted. Summary: You and Zoro was on the ship while everyone was out discovering an island when you both fell asleep. You didn't realise where you had your hand placed until he wakes you up. A/N: masterpost & links are pinned on my tumblr.
"Have a nice trip" you said to everyone and walked up to the deck where zoro sat. "Aren't you going?" you asked Zoro, he shaked his head and sat down "no, I figured I might just take a nap" he said and leaned back with his arms crossed. You couldn't help yourself from watching his arms, so full of muscles and his chest is so firm. "what about you?" he asked you and you looked up to his eyes "no, not this time" you smiled and walked over to him and sat down "you don't mind if I sit here?" you asked him as you sat an ich away from him. "No, by all means" he said and you smiled.
After a couple of seconds Zoro was fast asleep, you yawned and leaned back. Your eyes felt heavy as you tried to not fall asleep, your head fell down on his shoulder. You froze and leaned up "sorry" you mumbled, "come here" he said half asleep and opened up his arm, you blushed and leaned into his chest and felt you laid so comfy with his hand wrapped around your shoulder. You yawned and fell asleep.
1 hour later
"uhm y/n?" You felt your eyes were heavy and couldn't quite wake up. You nuzzled into the warmth, not wanting to wake up. "Y/n!" Zoro said once again this time he was breathing heavily, you woke up drowzy "what?" you yawned and thats when you realised you were holding something hard.
You looked down and froze, you took your hand back and blushed hard. You looked up at him and he was starring at you, "Zoro" you whispered "I'm Sorry" you mumbled and felt red as a tomato. Zorro's arm felt so warm and comfertable around you. He leaned closer to you, his hand moved lower down to your waist.
He wanted to grab your waist and pin you down, he wanted to lean into your ear and whisper "you wanna finish what you started?" and maybe kiss your neck as he finally could thrust his dick into your core to hear your moans, he wanted you to touch him, kiss him. He wanted your hand back on his dick, better yet- he wanted to fuck you so hard you wouldn't be able to form a sentence.
He looked down on your lips "Why don't you put your hand back?" he leaned closer to your lips "or better yet, why don't you spread your legs for me so I can-" Before he could say something else you both heard someone suddenly arrive on the boat. "Shit" Zoro pulled back and tried to hide his boner with pulling his one leg up and placing his swords so they leaned on his shoulder covering up his obvious delicious boner. He looked over at you and melted, You were panting slowly and staring at his lips. You closed your eyes shut "Fucking tease" you mumbled, he smirked at you "Your the one who felt how hard I am" he whispered. You could see Nami and Robin jump on the boat as they were standing below you, they waved "hi guys" she smiled and you just nodded hello in return, she continued to talk to robin.
You took the oppertunity to whisper to Zoro "If we were alone, what would you do to me?" he turned his head away from nami and looked at you "fuck you stupid" you smirked at him and silently you let your arm carefully wander over to him, trying not to get caught "oh yeah?" He smirked "What If I fuck you stupid first?" you teased and moved your hand down his pants "I wanna taste your dick" you whispered into his ear and grabbed his length, he leaned his head back and tried to breathe calmly "But I'll guess this will do" you said and breathed silently as you felt your whole body shake with arousal. "Don't move or they will know something's up" you whispered.
The moment you had his dick in your hand he tried his best to not act suspicious but all he could think about was to crash his lips into yours. You began to pump his dick and he exhaled deeply. "Hey!" Nami yelled over to you and you both froze while still holding his big dick. "What's up?" you managed to say, "I was wondering If you guys would help us with something?" she asked, you continued to stroke his dick "sorry but I kinda have my hands full right now" you said honestly and smirked as Zoro was facing you. His eyes rolled behind his head and grabbed your the hand that was stroking his dick, "y/n" he moaned silently as he looked at you, you could feel his precum as he thrusted slowly up into your hand and whispered "If we were alone I swear-" before he could finish his answer you grabbed his dick harder and pumped from the bottom of shaft and all the way up slowly, he let out a silent groan and gave you a look that made you so aroused you felt your clit was screaming for attention.
The situation was turning him on more than you could ever know, in this moment he couldn't move or do anything. You had him totally around your little finger or rather your hand, he felt paralyzed with pleasure. He wanted to thrust up into your hand so bad, he wanted to make out with you and just have his way with you. But all he could do was to sit stare at you while trying to breathe calmly.
"What?" Nami asked confused "If you're not doing anything you might aswell help out" she pointed out and you responded "yeah but Zoro wanted to show me something" Nami sighed, Zoro looked up at you and whispered "Fucking Tease" you couldn’t help but to smirk and whisper back "well you do." All you wanted was for them to leave, you felt you were shaking, you were so horny you actually felt like you could burst any minute. You sighed, looked down to Nami and said "He said he wanted train with me, Sorry" Robin pulled Nami to the side "let’s go, they clearly want to be alone" Robin said and then they walked out of the boat and you let go of his dick.
You both were listening on whether or not they were gone, you turned your body around to face him, staring at eachother. He was breathing heavily. He laid his swords down on the floor. "You want to go somewhere private?" you asked him, he shaked his head "I gotta have you right now"
Before you could react Zoro was suddenly over you, he crashed his lips into yours and hummed. While making out you dragged his pants down, reaviling his hard cock dripping precum on your shorts. "fuck" you said and he leaned up as he began to stroke his dick "Off with your shorts, now" you obeyed and couldn't get your shorts off fast enough. He smirked and leaned over you, he went straight back to making out with you as he moved his hand down twoards your clit, He slipped one finger into your folds making you moan into his lips.
He moved his finger inside you and began to thrust into you, you moaned and he shut you up with kissing you. You hummed into his kisses, he smirked "Now it's my turn" he said and kissed your neck. You huffed as he slipped three fingers inside you. "youre so wet for me" he moaned into your lips. "Please fuck me" you huffed as he thrusted his fingers hard into you. “I want to hear you beg.” he smirked, You huffed and looked at him "I know you want to fuck me stupid, so go and fucking do it you big-" you ranted and he shut you up with kissing you.
He pushed his dick inside you slowly while moaning into your neck. You grabbed his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist and pushed upwards, trying to push his length inside you. "Fuck y/n" he groaned and pinned your hips down onto the floor with one hand as he thrusted slowly inside you. "I need you" you moaned, he pushed his dick deep inside you until he hit bottom and leaned over you, pinning you down. He groaned as he began to snap his hips, thrusting hard into you.
You gasped silently and moved one of your hands onto his ass, and felt feel how hard he was trusting into you. You closed your eyes as you could hear him smacking hard into you. He was not even trying to be silent, If anyone was walking by they could probobly hear you. But you both didn't care, there wasn't even a thought in your mind right now. He grabbed your chin "look at me" he said and you opened your eyes, he smirked as he could tell he won. He just fucked you stupid, you werent able to talk or say anything exept to pant, moan or groan. But he wasn't done yet.
He slammed his hips into you, not caring if everyone could hear your pretty moans, it only turned him more on. You moaned as his hips were clapping hard into you. You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him "yes" you whispered and reapeated over and over again with each hard thrust, like a broken record until you climaxed. He moaned into your neck "Fuck, Im cumin" he groaned "cum inside me" you moaned, still climaxing. "Fuck" he panted heavily as he thrusted hard into you, pressing his hips into your core and climaxed deep inside you.
He collapsed over you panting hard. "Fuck y/n" you both laid there panting for a while before you could hear someone in the distance. You both looked at eachother "Fuck, hide!" you panicked. He slipped out of you and you both grabbed your clothes and ran into a empty bathroom. You closed the door and locked it. You turned around and saw Zoro standing with his arms crossed while smirking "what?" you asked and then you looked down onto his hard dick. "Round 2?"
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sebastianstanisahotmf · 7 months
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Forbidden fruit
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Steve Rogers x Fem!reader
A/N Hey guys I'm re-posting all my fics. Also all mistakes are my own and comments, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated xoxo
18+ MINORS FUCK OFF YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH (I WARNED YOU)
Summary Your dad's best friend, Steve pays you a visit. (idk how to summarise this)
DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/SITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.
Warnings fluff, Unprotected sex (use protection because you're not fictional), daddy kink, squirting, spitting, the word slut used like once or twice and one slap.
You weren’t expecting anyone today. Between your dad being at work and the lack of plans on your part you didn’t expect the loud knocks on the door at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. You cautiously tiptoed over to the door and looked through the peephole. You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding when you saw it was Steve. You opened the door with a smile and tried not to stare at the man in front of you. After all he was your dad’s best friend.
“Hey darlin’ is your dad in?” Steve questioned while looking you up and down.
You were wearing some sweatpants and a t-shirt that belonged to your dad. You were home all day so you didn’t bother to put nicer clothes on.
“N-no” you stuttered trying not to focus on the wetness that is now soaking through your panties.
“He told me he wasn’t at work today” Steve said while walking into the kitchen to help himself to a beer.
“He said something about an emergency. I’m not sure though I wasn’t listening properly” you replied.
“I thought you were a good girl” Steve replied with a smirk.
You could feel your cheeks heating up with the praise.
“I-I was in the shower when he told me”
I wish I was there Steve thought as he looked at you hungrily.
“Actually I was here to see you princess” Steve said while watching your face closely.
“me?” you questioned.
“yes. I wanted to know if you meant to send me the photos of your pretty tits and the video of you playing with your pretty pussy.”
Oh my fucking god y/n you thought to yourself. “o-oh I-I’m really sorry Steve t-they weren’t meant to be sent to you.”
“who were they meant for then? Because they better not have been for a boy who doesn’t know how to treat a girl like you right.” Steve said bitterly. “Have you had sex with him before?” you nodded slowly watching Steve’s face for his reaction. “how many times has he made you cum?”
“well...” you replied looking at the floor.
“You’re joking. He had a pretty thing like you at his fingertips and he didn’t make you cum once. I think we should make another video to show your friend so he knows how to treat a girl like you.”
“I-I don’t think we should do this,” you replied.
“He’ll be home in about 45 minutes. That’s more than enough time to get those sexy legs of yours quivering and you screaming my name like a prayer.”
All you could do was whimper in response as Steve stepped closer to you. He brought his hand up to your face and brushed his thumb over your lips. You opened your mouth, and Steve pressed his thumb onto your tongue. You closed your lips around his thumb and sucked, which elicited a deep moan from Steve. He removed his thumb from your mouth and softly grasped your chin to make you look at him.
“Before we do anything, I want to set some rules,” he said sternly.
“O-okay,” you whimpered.
“Firstly, I need to know if you know what the traffic light system is.”
“I, umm, I know what it is.”
“Good girl. I want you to use it at any time, especially if you don’t like something that I’m doing or if you just want to slow down. I don’t care about anything but your well-being. Do you understand?” he questioned in a serious tone.
“Okay,” you replied while crossing your legs.
“Secondly, I’m going to have my way with you, but if you disobey me, I will have to spank you. And most importantly, you are to call me daddy and only daddy. Am I clear?”
“Y-yes, daddy,” you almost whispered.
“Good girl,” he growled.
He grabbed your waist and pulled you flush against his chest.
“No bra?” he questioned.
You shook your head. You put your left hand on his chest and your right one on his cheek. He leaned down, and you reached up to meet his lips. It started off tame until Steve licked across your lips. You instantly opened your mouth and welcomed his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues fought for dominance, a fight that would always be won by Steve.
He moved his hands to your ass and told you to jump.
You pulled back. “Are you sure?” you questioned.
Steve looked at you like you were crazy. “Did I stutter? I said jump. So you’re gonna jump, and I’m gonna carry you to your bedroom, and then I’m gonna fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before. Better than any guy your age can.”
You decided that Steve didn’t care and jumped. He caught you and wrapped your legs around his waist. You started to kiss him again as he made his way upstairs with you. Luckily you had left your bedroom door open do all he had to do was kick it so you both could fit through the doorway. He dropped you on your bed and then started to strip his clothes off. However, you were visibly disappointed when he didn’t take his tight boxers off. You could see his bulge and it looked too big to be real.
“see something you like?” he said with a smirk on his face. Then, he looked you in the eyes and said “strip. I want everything off.”
“ok daddy” you replied whilst taking your clothes off with shaky hands.
Once you got your panties off, Steve took them out of your hand and put them on top of his pile of clothes.
“they’re mine now”
All you could do was whimper in response.
“lay back” he ordered.
You did as he said and then he laid down on his front between your legs. He grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his head.
He looked up at you and said, “I want you to suffocate me with your pussy. I mean it, if I die then I’ll die a happy man. Also, I want both hands in my hair. They move, I stop. Do you understand?”
“y-yes daddy,” you replied a shiver running down your spine.
You buried your hands into Steve’s soft strands of hair and pulled which made him groan.
He leaned forward and you tightened your legs. He smiled to himself before he dived in. He started with long languid licks from your hole to your clit. Making sure to leave nowhere untouched by his tongue. He licked into your pussy while his thumb swiped over your bundle of nerves.
You pulled hard on his hair making him groan once again. He shook his head so he could get deeper and decided to change his tactics.
He rubbed two fingers up and down your wetness, pushed them inside and curled them. The moan you let out made Steve grind his hardness into the mattress. He started to suck on your clit and you pulled as hard as you could on his hair.
“OH FUCK DADDY.” You screamed. “I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum.” You chanted.
Steve carried on what he was doing. Well he had no choice. Your legs were so tight around his head now that he couldn’t move. He couldn’t be in a better position if he tried. It was like being in heaven.
You let out an earth shattering squeal as you came. Steve carried on as your legs quivered and your hands tried to push his head away. The overstimulation feeling like too much. Steve added another finger and curled them hard against your g-spot. He got into a rhythm of harshly thrusting his fingers in and out of you while he sucked as hard as he could on your clit.
Then, a weird pressure started to build. One that you had never felt before. It felt like you needed to pee.
“daddy it feels weird. Daddy I’m gonna cum gonna cum again.” You shouted.
He carried on with his movements and then suddenly he pulled his fingers out of you. He continued you roughly rub two fingers across your clit even as you writhed and your legs shook. He put an arm across your waist as he continued his ministrations.
Then suddenly you came. Your release squirted out of you while Steve continued to rub your swollen and almost painful bundle of nerves.
“DADDY!” You squealed and then you shouted, “YELLOW.” The feeling was pleasurable but it felt too much. You just needed everything to slow down.
Steve removed his hand and put his other one on your cheek as his thumb stroked the skin under your eye.
“Are you ok baby? Do you want to slow down or stop?” he asked in a soft voice.
“I just want to slow down. It just got a little too much. I can go again now. I-it’s just that I needed a break.” You breathlessly replied.
“Ok baby but if its too much just tell me. I won’t be mad.”
“ok daddy.”
Steve leaned down and whispered “good girl” into your ear making goose bumps form all over your body.
“Daddyyyyy.” You whined. “I need you”
“what do you need baby?” he said while smiling softly at you.
“I need you inside me. Please please daddy!”
“Good girl. Such. A. Good. Girl.” Steve punctuated each word with a kiss.
He started to kiss from your lips to your neck where he started to kiss and bite you leaving a trail of marks. You tangled your hands into his hair, pulling on the strands.
Steve groaned as he grinded his erection into your leg. He kissed down to your breasts where he sucked your left nipple into his mouth. He bit down on it which made you groan. He then switched his attention to the other nipple.
Once he felt like your nipples had had enough attention, he started to kiss his way back up to your lips.
He sat back on his legs and started to remove his boxers. As he pulled them down his legs, his large cock sprung up and laid flat against his stomach. The red tip was leaking a steady stream of precum.
You sat up and reached out for Steve’s cock and grasped it. You started to pump his cock up and down occasionally twisting your hand as you reached the sensitive head whilst using his precum as lube. He let out a loud groan.
You got closer so that you could lean down and take his member into your mouth. You sucked harder as you got to the tip. Once you had a steady rhythm, Steve put a hand on either side of you head and started to fuck your mouth.
“If you need me to stop just tap on my thigh twice” He gritted out.
He held your head down so that your nose was buried in the hairs at the base of his cock. Then he pulled back and carried on thrusting into your mouth. As he got close to cumming, he pulled out and picked you up.
Steve laid you down on your back and then kneeled between your open legs. He shuffled closer and grabbed his cock. He started to run the tip up and down your folds.
“Daddy please. Fuck me please daddy please!” you pleaded desperately.
“ok, ok, baby” he said looking at you with lust blown eyes.
He grabbed his member and pushed it inside you. You moaned and you arched your back as he slowly entered you. Steve stilled for a few seconds to let you get used to his size.
“Steve please!” you begged, desperate for Steve to pound you into the mattress.
“what did you call me?” Steve snarled and slapped you around your face.
You moaned and clenched around him making him hiss.
“sorry daddy sorry I just want you to fuck me. PLEASE!” you pleaded.
“you want me to fuck you really hard do you?” Steve said as you nodded your head. He chuckled and then put his hand around your neck squeezing gently. “ok then I’ll fuck you but don’t expect me to stop you slut.”
Steve started to pound into you. His hips slapping against yours while his balls slap against your ass. His thrusts were quick and sharp not allowing you any time to move away.
Steve grabbed your legs and put them over his shoulders. He leant down and you were practically folded in half. What he did next surprised you. Steve used his spare hand to hold down your jaw while he spat into your mouth. He removed his hand and you automatically swallowed and opened your mouth again.
“Such a fucking slut wanting my spit. Dirty girl.” Steve said while spitting into your mouth again.
You swallowed. Then, Steve snaked the hand that he used to open your jaw down to your clit and started to rub it quickly. Your legs started to shake and your back arched off the bed.
“Are you gonna cum my dumb slut?” you nodded. “Tell daddy. Tell him you’re a dumb cumslut” Steve started to thrust faster which you didn’t know was possible.
“I-I’m a-a cumslut. D-daddy’s cums-slut. I’m gonna cum daddy. I’m gonna cum.” You sobbed while your legs shook and the feeling at the bottom of your stomach grew.
“that’s it good girl” Steve groaned. “good girl, such a good girl for daddy.”
That’s when the band inside you snapped and you came for the final time. Your last released squired out of you and drenched Steve’s cock and thighs.
“good girl. Such a good cumslut.”steve moaned his thrusts losing their rhythm. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, gonna cum”
“daddy cum inside me please daddy please. Want your cum inside me. Please!”
That was it for Steve. He was a goner. His hips stilled as his spend pumped inside you.
You both stayed like that for a while until Steve suddenly got up. You whined at the loss of contact but your attention was now on Steve picking up your phone.
“Open it please baby. I want to send a video of my spunk dripping out of you to that little shit who thinks he deserved you”
You whimpered at his possessive tone and took your phone out of his hand to put the password in. Steve then clicked on the camera and took a video of your still pulsing hole which had his spend leaking out of it.
Steve stopped the video and sent it to your friend. Then he laid on top of you with his head on your breasts while you ran your fingers through his hair.
You both stayed like that for a while until your phone rang. Steve rolled over beside you with a groan and you picked up your phone.
“shit, it’s my dad.” You said as you answered the call. “Hey dad what’s up?”
“Nothing sweetheart I’m just calling to say I’m gonna be home 30 minutes late today.”
“o-ok I’ll see you later. Bye dad, love you”
“bye love you too.”
You put the phone down and looked at Steve with a smile on your face. “we have an extra 30 minutes”
“good. Now I can take care of you the way you deserve.” Steve picked you up and took you to the bathroom down the hallway.
He sat you on the toilet so you could pee while he went back into the bedroom to take the sheets off your bed. After you were finished in the bathroom, you called Steve back in. He picked you up again and placed you on the counter.
“where are the towels?” Steve asked.
“in the cupboard under this counter.” You said, smiling softly at Steve.
“ok then darlin’. You get the shower going and I’ll get a change of clothes and towels ready before I join you.” He smiled and then slapped your ass when you walked over to the shower.
You yelped in response but carried on with the task you had been given. Once the shower was to your preferred temperature, you got under the spray and got your hair wet.
Just as you were about to reach for your body wash Steve had entered the shower and came up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your hair. You turned around in his arms and leaned up to kiss him.
Then you reached out for your dad’s shower gel and squirted some of it on a loofah. Then, you thoroughly cleaned Steve’s body and then his hair. Once you had finished, Steve decided to return the favour.
These simple acts felt intimate but you knew you couldn’t have a relationship with Steve. It was like he was forbidden fruit since he was your dad’s best friend. How would your dad react to that?
After Steve had finished cleaning your body and hair, you both got out of the shower. Steve decided had that you didn’t need to walk yet.
He put you down once you reached the bedroom and then you both started to get dressed which gave you an opportunity to look Steve over and appreciate his chiselled body.
“you’re staring baby” Steve said while laughing.
Your cheeks started to heat up again but that was short lived since Steve dragged you back into bed so you could cuddle. Your head was on Steve’s chest while his arm was around you and your leg was thrown over his waist.
Your peaceful moment was torn apart by the sound of a key in the front door. You and Steve jumped out of bed and started to panic
“hey its OK, I’ll quickly go downstairs and tell your dad that you was getting changed. Ok?”
“ok I’ll wait a few minutes before coming down stairs then” you agreed.
“good girl” Steve whispered in your ear before kissing you on the lips and then on your forehead.
He ran downstairs and into the kitchen to pick up his beer and talk to your dad. All this happened while you were still thinking about what you and Steve had just done and how it would change your relationship.
Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier @nicoline1998enilocin
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justagalwhowrites · 3 months
Text
Yearling - Ch. 32: Promises
Joel adjusts to life in Jackson after his brush with death. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-31 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: References to canon-typical violence. Smut :). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 
Length: 9.5k
A/N: Hi y'all. If you're still looking at this fic but have skipped the last few chapters because of spoilers, this is a pretty safe chapter to jump back in at. You do need to understand that Joel was nearly killed in an encounter with an unnamed person while on patrol and that someone was looking for him in particular to have the context for this chapter. If you have any questions, feel free to DM me.
AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
December, 2027
“No.” 
“Baby…” 
“I said no, Joel.” 
You stalked off to another room and Joel could feel your frustration from where he sat on the couch. 
He sighed, debating whether or not to follow you or if he should stay where he was and let you cool off.
It wasn’t the first time the two of you had had this discussion over the last six weeks. 
Joel had made significant recovery since the incident in November. His leg had mostly healed, though he still walked with a slight limp. But he could breathe deeply without feeling the burning pain of broken ribs now. And the parts of him the doctors had to cut away so he would survive - part of his liver, part of his intestine, one of his kidneys - no longer constantly hurt to the point of occasional agony. Everything was tolerable now, if not necessarily what it was before. 
As a result, he was starting to go a little stir crazy. Admittedly, the doctors hadn’t cleared him for anything too strenuous - though he wondered how much of that was your doing versus theirs - but he wanted to start preparing to go back to the life he had in Jackson. One where he felt fulfilled, like he had his place in the community and a way to contribute. 
You, however, weren’t too happy with that plan. 
Joel sighed and got up from the couch, the muscle in his leg burning as he did. Things still hurt and pulled at first - and he was sure getting on a horse would be uncomfortable at best - but it would pass. Or he’d get used to it. 
Either way, he wasn’t content with continuing to sit in his house and rot. 
“Sweetheart,” he said, finding you in the kitchen. 
You closed the fridge door with too much force, making the jars of canned produce inside rattle. 
“No,” you said, adding milk to a cup of tea on the counter. “Find a place to sit, I don’t want you spilling hot tea all over yourself.” 
“I’m not a kid,” he said, a little defensive. “I know perfectly well what I’m capable of…” 
“No, you don’t,” you said, leveling him with a glare before returning the milk to the fridge and pointing to his spot at the table. “Now sit.” 
Joel squared his jaw for a moment before going for the kitchen table - trying to walk with as little a limp as he could manage even though it fucking hurt - and sitting down there. He took a deep breath as you got the mugs of tea and carried them to the table, setting one in front of him and the other in front of the seat he’d come to think of as yours. You settled in beside him, holding the mug with both hands, seemingly determined to not actually look at him. 
“We need to talk about it,” he said gently. 
“I’m not going to discuss you going out there to get yourself fucking killed, Joel,” you snapped. “I’m not doing it, I’m not going through that again. End of story.” 
Joel tried to remind himself that he wouldn’t feel any differently if he were in your position. He couldn’t blame you for it.
You’d been a mess when he woke up. It had just taken him a few minutes to really realize it. 
It was like you couldn’t get close enough to him once you were against him, clinging to him as you tried to not disturb him or put any weight on him. But once he got you settled, you fell asleep quickly. 
Joel, however, was wide awake. Part of him was afraid to go to sleep again. He didn’t want to not wake up, he wasn’t confident enough that he would. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been unconscious but it felt like he’d slept enough for a lifetime. 
So he just held onto you. He soaked up the feel of you in his arms, a sensation he thought he’d never have again. He tried to pick through the fog of his mind, remember what had happened before, but it felt so far away, nothing but a haze of blood and hurt before your voice was there. After a while, he left it alone. 
But you didn’t sleep the way you normally did. At first, you seemed stiff, like you were still conscious enough to be worried about hurting him. That didn’t last too long. Your whole body relaxed, as limp and pliant as you were when he’d just made you come again and again. But you almost never actually found rest that way. Even with Joel beside you, there was part of you that was always tense and ready to defend yourself. A byproduct, he was sure, of years of torment that could strike at any time. You only slept that way when you were at the point of total exhaustion, when your body physically couldn’t be on guard anymore. 
As much as he wanted to talk to you - ask you what happened, how you were feeling, how long he’d been like this - he wanted you to rest more. You needed it, your whole body desperate for it. So when his door opened just as the light in the room shifted to the pink and orange of dawn, his hold on you tightened ever so slightly. 
Carol, one of the doctors, didn’t even notice him watching her come in at first, nearly jumping out of her skin when she realized that his eyes were open. 
“Joel!” She yelped and you stirred ever so slightly against him. He held you tighter. 
“Shhh,” he hushed her before whispering, soft and low. “She needs her rest. Don’t think she’s had much of that lately.” 
“But…” 
“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he said. “Let ‘er sleep. Can look me over in a bit.” 
She rolled her eyes but left all the same and he watched you, lost in you. You’d survived. He remembered being afraid that you wouldn’t but you had, and so had he. He trailed his fingers gently over your exposed skin, marveling at the softness of you, that you loved and trusted him enough to let your softness be this close. 
The sun was high when the door opened again, not easing open this time but flying, Ellie tearing into the room in a blur of wild hair and disheveled clothes. The door smacking into the wall made you wake with a jolt and he held you close as he felt that tension shock back into your limbs. 
“Joel!” Ellie barreled over to him and he couldn’t help but smile as she skidded to a stop at his bedside as you sat up. 
“Hey baby girl.” 
“You’re awake,” her voice was thick as she sat down near you at the edge of the bed. “Fuck, I didn’t…” 
“Are you OK?” He asked, trying to look her over. 
“I’m fine,” she waved him off. “You scared the shit out of me but I’m fine. The doc said I needed to get you to let her look you over? What the fuck, Joel?” 
“Joel!” You looked down at him, wide awake now, his head propped up on pillows. 
“You needed rest,” he shrugged. 
“You needed to be examined by a doctor!” You snapped, unfolding yourself from your place at his side. He tried to hold onto you but you leveled him with a glare. “After everything we did to get you here alive, don’t even start.” 
He tried very hard not to laugh. 
“Whatever you say, baby.” 
He seemed to frustrate you a lot after that. You talked to the doctors more than he did, never leaving his side and listening to everything they said with a hard look on your face. He tried to ask more about what happened to you - he remembered you bleeding and your face was still damaged but healing - but you changed the subject back to him immediately every time. 
Joel was ready for things to go back to normal as quickly as he could manage but you were nervous, hesitant. The first time you dared leave him at the clinic, something happened with a horse and Olivia came to get you. It was the third day he was awake and you were gone long enough that he was able to get out of bed and try to walk on his own. He didn’t make it very far, all but falling into a chair near the door after using the wall to haphazardly balance as he went. The chair smacked into the wall and Joel heard scrambling from the hall before Carol threw open the door, her eyes wide and panicky before she saw where Joel had ended up. 
“Are you trying to get yourself hurt?” She demanded as she helped him back to bed. 
“No,” he said, defensive. “I’m tryin’ to get myself back to normal…” 
“Joel, you’re 60 years old…” 
“Don’t remind me.” 
“…And injuries take time to recover from. You’re not a young man anymore, you can’t push yourself the way you used to.” 
“I’m not a young man anymore,” he agreed as she helped lower him to the bed, his body seeming so hulking and large beside hers. “I can’t afford to waste time bein’ useless.” 
“Recovery isn’t useless,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “If you’re not going to listen to me then you need to listen to that woman of yours, Joel. Take it easy and don’t do things like get up without someone there to help if you need it.” 
Carol was nice enough to not tell you about the fact that he got out of bed and walked to the chair, at least. But she had distinctly sided with you in all matters related to his recovery after that, as had Tommy, Ellie, Maria and Savvy. 
It didn’t help that there were clearly conversations happening that no one wanted to tell him about. He heard raised voices from the front room of the clinic one day, you and Ellie going back and forth about something he couldn’t quite make out until there was the sharp boom of Tommy’s voice ending the conversation. 
“Care to tell me what that was this afternoon?” He asked as you settled into his side to sleep after Ellie and Tommy had gone home for the night. 
“Depends on how pissed off you want to be,” you replied, draping your arm gingerly over his chest and settling in with your head on his shoulder. 
“Not gonna piss me off,” he said gently. You had shrugged out of the button down of his that you’d worn that day before climbing in bed, stripped down to the tank top below and he could feel your skin so easily like this, his hand skimming over your bared arm. You pressed yourself closer. 
“Yes it is,” you said quietly, stretching and kissing his throat before settling at his side again. 
“Can’t go the rest of our lives without shit pissin’ me off, baby,” he said gently. “Don’t think I can handle you treatin’ me like glass the whole time, either.” 
“I just worry,” you said softly. “I don’t want to do this without you, can’t give you a damn heart attack because Ellie has some scheme…” 
“So it’s Ellie that’s causin’ the trouble,” he said. 
You groaned. 
“Fine,” you said. “Better not get all worked up and just let me handle it. Trust me when I say I have it, Joel, I really do…” 
“Baby.” 
You sighed again. 
“From what Tommy was conscious for and what little you remember,” you said slowly. “The people who… those people. They were after you. Specifically you. And Ellie… she hasn’t taken kindly to that.” 
“Alright…” 
“She wants to go find them,” you sighed. “She thinks she can handle it…” 
“No,” he said, already moving to get up but you held him down. 
“Joel.” 
“She’s not doin’ that…” 
“I know she’s not,” you said, still holding him in place. “I told you, Tommy and I have it handled.” 
“I don’t want her to go after them,” Joel said, letting himself relax back into the mattress and your hold on him eased. “Don’t want any of you putting yourself at risk on some damn fool mission…” 
“I know.” 
“She needs to get that shit outta her head…”
“I know, Joel.” 
He sighed. 
“This is such a fuckin’ mess. All of it.” 
“It doesn’t matter,” you said quietly, nuzzling in closer to him. “All that matters is you’re alive and you’re here. We’ll figure it out.” 
You figuring it out, apparently, just meant keeping Joel under lock and key for the foreseeable future. Your jaw was set tight across the table and you fidgeted with your mug, your thumb tapping out a stuttering rhythm on the handle. 
“I need to contribute,” Joel said gently. You glared at him. “Sweetheart…” 
“You can contribute without leaving Jackson,” you said. “Your value here isn’t limited to going on fucking patrol…” 
“It’s a big part of my value, Baby, yeah,” he said. “I don’t got a lot of skills…” 
“You were a contractor before,” you snapped. “You think buildings here don’t need to be repaired? That things don’t need to be constructed? Do that, let them take you out of the patrol rotation.” 
“I’m not gonna hide,” he said, trying to get you to look at him even as you seemed bound and determined not to. “I want to get back out there, I want to do my part…” 
“Your part doesn’t include getting fucking murdered, Joel!” 
“I sure hope it doesn’t,” he reached out and took your hand, his thumb running over your knuckles. “I want to be here, with you, for a good, long time, baby. But I can’t… I can’t be something I’m not. And I’m not someone who just lets other people take on all the risk while he sits at home, on his ass…” 
“Joel.” 
“You say you love me,” he said. You actually met his eyes with that, glassy and wet at the edges. 
“Of course I love you,” you said, not as harsh now. “I love you so goddamn much, I can’t lose you, I can’t, do you understand me?” 
“I know, Baby,” he reached out, his large hand cupping your face. “And I’m not planning on going anywhere. But I can’t be the man you love by hidin’ away and waitin’ for trouble to come to someone else. I need to be the one to handle it. Me. I need to take care of my own business, need to look after you, need to take care of our girls. I can’t do that here, acting like I’m not capable of doing my part. I’m going back out there, Baby, and I’d like to do it knowin’ that you’ll still be speaking to me when I get back.” 
“You don’t get to ask me to watch you hurt yourself,” your voice was thick. “I will not watch you die, Joel. I’m not going to do it and you don’t get to ask me to.” 
“I’m not,” he said gently. “But, Sweetheart, if I am gonna go? I’d like to go out as myself. And that means going back out on patrol.” 
Your eyes searched his for a moment before you all but collapsed against his shoulder, your arms snaking up around his neck, a sob cracking through you. He put his arms around you, rocking you gently. 
Part of him had been waiting for this to happen. Beyond when he caught you off guard when he first woke up, you’d been nothing but strong and stoic. The only time there was a hint of anything else was when the two of you went to bed at night. You clung to him then, Joel swallowing any hint of hurt you accidentally caused when you held him tight. You breathed him in deep, pressed as much skin to him as you could manage. Sometimes, those deep breaths were shaky ones, like you were trying not to cry. He just held onto you, wishing you’d say something - anything - so he’d know how you were feeling. But you didn’t. So he took care of you the best way he could while you were focused on taking care of him. 
“It’s alright,” his hand spread wide over your back, keeping a slow and steady rhythm as it ran up and down your spine. Your tears were racking, choking, making your whole body shake. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, s’alright…” 
“I can’t,” you sobbed against him. “I can’t, I can’t… you can’t leave me, Joel, you can’t.” 
“M’not gonna leave you, Baby,” he said softly. “I promise you. I’ll always come home to you.” 
“You can’t know that,” you sniffed, your sobs calming to sniffles. “Seeing you like that…” 
“I know,” he said quietly. He’d seen you nearly dead enough times, he knew. He understood it. “I’m sorry, Baby, I’m so sorry…” 
“Then why are you insisting on trying to go back out there,” you sat back from him. “If you understood it, you’d stay here with me and with Ellie and Savvy, you wouldn’t do this. Not to yourself, not to me, not to them…” 
“I know,” he said again, looking in your eyes, begging you to understand. “But that girl… she took a lot from me, baby. A few organs, more time than I really want. Almost took my future with you and the girls. Not gonna let her take who I am, too. And I need to go back out there. Not gonna just hide in here, afraid, for the rest of my life.” 
Your eyes searched his, wide and wet, and then you sighed. 
“I have conditions. If you expect me to be OK with this…” 
“Of course,” he said quickly. “What are they?” 
“You go out with Tommy or me,” you said. “No one else. I don’t trust you out there with Jesse or fucking Gene…” 
“They were tryin’ to do the right thing…” 
“The right thing was saving you,” you snapped. “You go out with Tommy or with me or not at all.” 
“Alright,” he said. “You or Tommy. At least to start.” 
You glared at him for a moment but you pressed on. 
“You don’t even think about going out until you’re fully cleared by both doctors,” you said. “None of this second opinion bullshit, they’re both on board or you don’t go.” 
“I can do that,” he nodded slowly. “You’re being very reasonable, Baby, I’m impressed…” 
“Oh, fuck off.” 
He laughed a little and tugged you closer to press a kiss to your temple. You melted into his chest, head nestling against his shoulder so that your nose brushed his neck. 
“I promise, I don’t have a death wish,” he said, thumb tracing a path over your arm. “I always want to come home to you. I just need to do this, too.” 
“I know,” you said softly. “I’m just… I’m so scared with you. All the time, I’m so afraid. It’s different than with Savvy, I’ve always been afraid with her. Scared I was gonna drop her or accidentally hurt her or not teach her the right thing or teach her too much. Scared I couldn’t save her. She’s my heart just walking around outside my body, I’m used to being afraid with her. But it’s different than how I feel about you and I just… I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and I don’t know how to live with being afraid of losing that.” 
He took a deep breath and held you a little tighter. 
“Know the feeling.” 
It was just a few days to Christmas and preparations were in full swing. The tree was up in the middle of town, lights lined the buildings, Julie had been hoarding supplies for some kind of holiday cocktail that she claimed was a surprise that you were highly skeptical of. You, Ellie and Savvy had picked a tree for his living room just the week before and set it up, Savvy standing back with a slight frown on her face the whole time. 
“What’s up, baby girl?” Joel asked, sitting in an arm chair as he watched you and Ellie decorate. His leg wasn’t quite up for standing that much yet. 
“It’s just…” She looked at him for a moment and perched on the arm of the chair before looking back at you. “People really did this before? Put trees in their houses?” 
“Yeah,” Joel smiled up at her. “They did. Biggest holiday of the year for a lot of the world, trees inside stores and offices and shit, too.” 
She crossed her arms, her brows knitting together as she frowned.  
“She never did this with me,” she said quietly. “I read about Christmas in a book once but it didn’t talk about this part and she didn’t talk about it much when I asked and… I don’t get it.” 
Joel nodded slowly. Savvy was still warming up to you. She seemed skeptical of your motivations, of your intentions, of everything you said. It was hard to tell how much of it was teenaged cynicism and how much was rooted in her feelings of abandonment. But since you’d all but moved into Joel’s house, she’d been around you more and more and you did your best to let her guide it. He could tell how much it was killing you, though. He knew the feeling well, remembering back to the days when Ellie wouldn’t even look at him. He could tell how badly you wanted to cling to her. He saw how much you wanted her to stay close and tell you everything in the way you hung on her every word, the way you watched the door for a full minute after she left to go back to Ellie’s. But you needed her to be OK with it more. That just didn’t make things any easier. 
“What did she tell you?” Joel asked, keeping his voice low enough that it wouldn’t rise over the Christmas carols you’d put on the stereo. 
“Stuff she did with her parents,” she shrugged. “That her brothers would tease her about being bad… None of this stuff.” 
“Well,” Joel said slowly. “Think she told you the important stuff.” 
She looked at him, skeptical. 
“The important stuff ain’t the decorations, it’s the people,” he said. “She couldn’t give you the other things so she told you about your family. Don’t think she was trying to hide anything from you. She shared with you what mattered.” 
She nodded slowly and looked toward the tree again until Ellie turned around and called her over to put an ornament on the tree. You bit your lip as you watched her do it, your eyes wide and soft and you hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a squeeze when she stepped back to look at her handiwork. 
Joel was steadfastly trying to focus on the holiday instead of the tension that had settled over the town since his attack. Patrols had been ramped up, sending people out in small groups instead of pairs. There were growing signs of people present in the wilderness, more xes on trees and remains of fires. Tommy had told Joel - much to your chagrin - that the prevailing theory was they were marking Jackson territory, the signs always found at the edges of where patrols ran. As though someone was watching for where they could seize power. Everyone was on tenterhooks, waiting for something worse to happen.
But the build up to Christmas seemed to have taken everyone’s minds off the looming threat. Joel was thankful for it. It seemed to have lightened your mood some, too - part of why he decided to bring up the patrol issue yet again. 
He didn’t tell you that he was set to see Carol the next day to hopefully get cleared for patrol. And… other activities. 
The cruelty of the timing of the attack hadn’t been lost on Joel. He’d just gotten you back, hadn’t even had 12 damn hours with you before he had to leave for patrol and then almost never came back. But he’d lived and, while you’d been close ever since, you weren’t close enough. 
He wanted you. 
That wasn’t quite right, he always wanted you. He was pretty sure he’d wanted you since the moment he first saw you. He was beyond that now. He needed you so bad he ached with it, his whole fucking body hurt with it sometimes. But you wouldn’t touch him without the doctors saying it was OK. Even though, at this point, he was starting to think it was medically dangerous to be so fucking wanting. 
“Are you goin’ to the stables today?” Joel asked, holding you close. You nodded against him. “You think you’ll be done in time for the movie?” 
“Definitely,” you said. “Savvy’s never seen a Christmas movie, not missing that.” 
He kissed your forehead. 
“Been meanin’ to ask you something,” he said. 
“Hm.” 
“Think you’ll be my date for the dance tomorrow night?” He asked. You pulled back from him and glared, your eyes still red. He smiled a little. “Know I left it to last minute but I’m hoping…” 
“Of course I’ll be your date,” you shoved him ever so lightly. “Who else am I gonna go with? Been cooped up here with you for the last month, all my other prospects have given up on me…” 
He laughed and kissed you. 
“Guess you’ll just have to be my girl, then.” 
“Guess so.” 
He kissed you again, deeply, firmly. But it was different than so many other kisses he’d shared with you over the past few weeks. There was heat behind it. A twinge of need and want that tasted so familiar on your tongue. You moaned and adjusted so you were closer to him, your body curving, leg hitching up over his so you could press your mound against his thigh. He gripped you tighter, pulled you closer, but you pulled back with a groan. 
“Baby,” he breathed but you shook your head. 
“Not going to risk hurting you,” you panted. 
“Not gonna hurt me…” 
“Not sure I trust your judgement,” you gave him a final, chaste, peck on the lips. “I’ll see you tonight, walk over with you and the girls.” 
“Have a good day,” he said. 
“I will if you take it easy,” you replied, extracting yourself gently from his grip and heading out the door. 
He watched you leave and waited for a few minutes to make sure you were gone before he got up, too. It was almost Christmas and there were things he wanted to do. 
*** 
Joel looked far too pleased with himself, his hand on your thigh as you sat beside him at the Tipsy Bison. You had one of Julie’s special cocktails - something she called the Grinch and tasted like mint - and were well on your way to being tipsy for the first time in months. 
Savvy and Ellie were sitting with some friends - Dina, Jesse, the boy from school you suspected Savvy had a crush on named Kyle - and looked to be having fun. You hoped Savvy would talk to you about it later. She’d been opening up a little bit more, never fully pulling away like she had for so long. You took what you could get, thankful that she was willing to speak to you at all. 
She’d gone with you, Joel and Ellie to the movie the night before. It was Miracle on 34th Street. She seemed to enjoy it, smiling and watching the screen in wonder, soaking it all in. It was bittersweet to see. You’d always wanted to be able to give her these things, the kinds of things you remembered loving as a girl at the holidays. But there was a certain cruelty in it, too. She’d never see a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, never visit a mall Santa. Jackson brought her closer to the life you’d led as a girl but it was still so far away and it was hard, not being able to share it with her.
But Ellie had talked her into spending Christmas Day with you and Joel. You’d damn near kissed her when she told you and you felt a little like you had as a child on Christmas Eve, the greatest gift you could have ever asked for, spending the day with Savvy, Joel and Ellie all together. 
But Joel seemed as excited as you were, a small smile tugging at his lips as you sat across from Tommy and Maria. 
“Can’t believe it’s Christmas again,” Maria said, taking a drink of his beer. “Swear, time goes by faster and faster every damn year.” 
“I’ll take time goin’ faster as long as that means it’s still goin’,” Joel replied. 
“Know that’s right,” Tommy shook his head a little, half smile on his face. “We’re all still standing and after the last year, seems like the best I can ask for.” 
“Y’all doing anything special for William this year?” You asked, turning your cocktail glass slowly in your fingers. “He’s getting big enough to know what’s going on now.” 
“Santa’s planning to make a visit,” Tommy smiled a little. “He’s been pretty good lately, figure that should be rewarded.” 
You smiled back, looking toward Savvy. She was facing the boy on the bench next to her and his fingers traced the outside of her knee and she smiled. 
The music changed, the strains of the song familiar. Hallelujah. You looked toward Joel and he smiled a little wider, the change so subtle you doubted anyone but you would notice. 
“This is hardly a Christmas song.” 
“There’s an argument to be made,” he said. “Heard it on the radio sometimes at Christmastime, it counts.” 
He took his hand off your thigh and held it out to you. An offering. 
“C’mon, baby,” his eyes were hot on you. “Call it an early Christmas present.” 
You put your hand in his and let him lead you to the dance floor. You draped your arms over his shoulders, fingers trailing through his hair as he tugged your body close to his. 
“See?” He said, tracing your nose with his. “Not so bad.” 
“Helps when you’ve got a good partner,” you smiled a little. “How’s that leg of yours doing?” 
“Good as new,” he said. “Definitely isn’t gonna keep me from dancing with you, that’s for damn sure.” 
You laughed a little before you nestled your head against his chest, sighing contentedly. 
“I’m so glad you’re still here to dance with,” you said quietly as you swayed with him. He gave you a gentle squeeze. 
“Me too,” he said softly, almost sadly. 
“I feel like I wasted so much time,” you whispered, tears pricking the corners of your eyes and making your throat tight. You got like this a lot lately, this haze of what almost was hanging over you. “I should have known better and…” 
“Hey,” he said, pulling back from you just enough to look in your eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, didn’t waste anything. I gave you a lot of shit to work through, more than you ever should have had to deal with. You did what you needed to do, s’not a waste.” 
“What if I’d lost you?” You asked softly. “What if I never came over that night, what if…” 
“What if a lot of things,” he cut you off. “Doesn’t matter. We got here. That’s the important thing.” 
He pulled you back against him and you pressed your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. 
“Gotta ask,” he said, tone lighter after a moment. “Never had any of those fancy dance classes you had. How do I hold up compared to the guys who did?” 
You laughed once, burying your face in his chest for a moment. 
“Best partner I ever had,” you said. 
He chuckled a little, his lips brushing your forehead. 
“Good.” 
You held him closer, moving with him slowly on the dance floor for a while. You weren’t sure how long. You let yourself get lost in him. The way he swayed in time to a rhythm your body was more in tune with than your mind, the way he felt so warm as he wrapped around you, the way his heart beat and the rise and fall of his chest were constant and stable. The way he was whole in your arms. It was like you could finally relax into that reality, you’d reached a point that you weren’t just scared anymore. He was here, he wasn’t going to fade away to nothing in the night. His heart would keep beating, his chest would keep rising, you wouldn’t need to find a way to do this without him. 
“Ready to go?” He asked softly after what felt like a while. “Want to get you home.” 
“Yeah,” you said, separating from him enough to look at him. “Let’s go.” 
You went and said your goodbyes to Tommy and Maria and Joel stopped by the girls’ table - scaring the shit out of Kyle by the look of it, Kyle’s eyes wide and terrified - before lacing his fingers with yours for the walk home. 
“What did you say to them?” You asked, walking close enough to him that you could feel the slight limp he had now. 
“Told ‘em to get home at a reasonable time,” he shrugged. “And no boys behind closed doors. Don’t want that Kyle kid gettin’ any ideas…” 
You snorted. 
“It looked like you threatened to castrate the boy,” you said. “I don’t want anyone taking advantage of Savvy but I don’t want everyone terrified to date her, either.” 
“Didn’t get that specific with it,” Joel said, a little defensive. “Just made it clear that someone was watchin’. And that someone was me.” 
You smiled and shook your head a little. 
“You’re ridiculous,” you said. “But… thank you. For taking care of my daughter.” 
He looked at you, his face serious as you came to a stop at his front walk.
“Course,” he said. “She’s an amazing kid, Bambi. You did a great job with her. And… might not deserve it but… feels like she’s mine, too. Love her like she’s mine. Hope that’s OK.” 
You looked at him for a moment, his eyes soft and warm, the lines of his face familiar landscapes. For a moment, it was as though your heart had broken open with him, cracked down to the center because the love you had for him couldn’t be held there anymore. You pulled him close to you, kissing him soft and deep. 
Or it started that way, at least. But his body against yours, the sharpness of your love in your chest, the taste of him on your tongue pushed you into desire. It didn’t take much to spark it - it had been so long since you’d had him - but once it was there, it burned hot and fast, swallowing the reminder that you should keep yourself under control quickly. 
“C’mon,” Joel said against your lips, breathless. “Let’s go inside.” 
You nodded and followed him inside, using the short walk from the street to his front door as a chance to try to get the want that was flaring inside you under control. It was too soon, it had to be too soon and you weren’t going to risk Joel’s health just because you were aching to have him as close as possible. 
Joel pulled you back against him as he he closed the door behind the two of you, tilting your head to give him better access to your mouth, his fingertips sinking into your skin as he gripped you tight. You swallowed a moan and tried to keep yourself from giving in even as you pressed yourself closer to him. 
“Joel,” you breathed, pulling your lips from his, his hands still holding you against him. “We… we should stop…” 
“Don’t need to,” he said, kissing you gently again. 
“Joel…” 
“Went to the doctor today,” he kissed over the line of your jaw, following the curve of your bones up to your temple where his lips lingered. “Said there’s a lot I’m allowed to do now. Including everything I want to do to you.” 
He trailed kisses down to your neck and you moaned as his lips pressed into the sensitive skin there. 
“I’ll beg if I have to,” he whispered. “But I need you, baby. Need to have you close, need to be inside of you.” 
“Fuck,” you panted, eyes closed, fighting to focus. “Are…” his mouth found a particularly sensitive spot, kissing and sucking you gently and sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. “Jesus… are you… are you sure? I don’t want you gettin’ hurt…”
“I’m sure,” he said softly, finally pulling his lips from your skin to look in your eyes again, your body cradled against his. “Bein’ apart from you has damn near killed me. Need to feel you.” 
“Need you, too,” you breathed, caving to your baser instincts. “Please, Joel.” 
He kissed you again and you could taste the desperation on his tongue, heat pooling between your hips. He guided you toward the stairs as he shrugged out of his coat and pushed yours off your shoulders and down your arms. He left both in a heap on the floor, keeping his mouth against your own until the two of you were at the base of the stairs. You only separated long enough to go up them, Joel pulling you back against him on the second story landing. 
You let him guide you, tried to focus on being gentle with him instead of pulling him to you and pressing him against you the way you wanted. 
But you could only resist so long. You tugged at his shirt, pulling at the buttons until you could shove it down his arms and toss it to the floor, too. He did the same with yours, discarding it in the hall before pulling you into his bedroom, nudging the door closed with his foot. It wasn’t long before you were both naked next to his bed, bodies pressed close and tight, his cock thick and hard and weeping against your stomach.
You took control then, turning him in your arms so that he was against the bed. He lowered himself back onto it slowly, his grip on you gentle but secure so you were on his lap, straddling him as you kissed him. 
“Really fucking missed you,” he whispered, kissing down your jaw to your neck to your chest. He rocked his hips up against you, his thick shaft nestled against your clit, the motion making you moan. “Goddamn, missed you so much.” 
His hands slipped over your skin to your breasts, cupping and cradling them before lavishing his hot, wet mouth over the soft swell of flesh there. He sucked a nipple into his mouth with a needy groan and you couldn’t help but roll your hips against him as he did, your tight, hot center clenching and gripping at nothing, desperate for something to pull deep inside. Joel’s tongue teased the firm nub between his lips, licking and sucking you, making you moan and rock yourself against him on his lap before moving to the other breast, giving you the same treatment there. 
“Joel,” you whimpered, fingers tangling in his curls. He pulled his mouth from your chest to look in your eyes, his gaze soft and hot like starlight. 
“Think you can come like this for me?” He asked softly. “Want you to come for me, want you to be so wet and soft inside for me, think you can do that?” 
You just nodded and his hands slid around to your back as he buried his face in your throat before going back to your breasts as he rutted his thick, dripping length up against your clit, the silken firmness of him pressing close and tight against your wet heat. You ground your hips down against him, desperate for more, to be as close as you could be to him, his body determinedly angled to keep you from working him into you. There was a tightening ache in you, the burn of need for something that was just out of reach making your head spin and pleasure spool.
“Just gotta come for me,” his voice was hot and needy. “Just come for me, all you gotta do. Just come, just come, please baby, just come, want to feel you come like this, you can give me that, know you can…” 
His desperate words were what you needed, the tension in you rising until you felt like you were going to break with wanting before your orgasm hit you hard, a wave of pleasure rolling over you. It was sharp, you hadn’t come in weeks, and you could feel all of it. How your clit throbbed against his cock, how your entranced pulsed and grasped at the root of him, how it seemed like your entire being was trying to pull him into yourself. 
“Oh fuck,” he held you tight to him, his cock pressed tight against you, so firm that you could feel him against your pubic bone. “Fuck, just like that. Gonna feel so good inside you baby, gonna be so goddamn good, just get all that come all over me, feel so good drippin’ all over me.” 
You dropped your head to his shoulder, body going limp for a moment as your orgasm finished. Joel cradled you to him before going to adjust you on the bed but you stopped him, sitting up again and pressing back on his shoulders. 
“Baby,” he groaned but you took his face in your hands and tilted his head so you could kiss him, really kiss him, the kind of kiss that was more hungry and consuming and claiming than anything else. 
“Let me,” you whispered when you pulled your lips from his just enough to speak. He let you adjust him then, until he was flat on his back in the middle of the bed, your folded legs bracketing his thighs. You stroked his cock - wet with your come and leaking his own arousal - before rising onto your knees to notch his thick head at your entrance. Joel’s hands went to your thighs, his thumb tracing the scar there, the one from the knife you’d taken to the leg when trying to save him. His eyes were trained on it, his fingertips digging into your flesh more sharply there than your other leg. His eyes traced up your body to the scar at your stomach, just as harsh and red and raw as the one at your leg. 
“Not tonight,” you said quietly. His eyes found yours. “It’s not about that tonight.” 
He didn’t say anything. Instead, his callused hands slid up your thighs to your hips and you eased down onto his hard length. You moaned as you took him into yourself, his thick cock sinking into your soft heat. He felt so good inside of you, your body remembering just how to make him a part of you. It had been weeks but it didn’t matter, he was built into you now, he fit into you the way no one else ever could, filling and stretching you totally. His breaths stuttered as more and more of him entered you, his fingertips clutching onto the soft flesh of your hips and ass harder and harder with every inch of him that worked its way into you. Just as the ridge of his head ghosted against the back wall of your channel, your hips met his and you let yourself adjust for a moment, savoring the feel of him inside you that way. 
Joel was panting for breath below you, his eyes tracing over your body again and again as your channel gripped him. 
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he looked in your eyes as he said it. “Most beautiful goddamn thing I’ve ever seen.” 
You just moaned a little, your hands coming to rest on the broad expanse of his chest, fingers splaying wide over his skin. But you didn’t move otherwise. He felt too good like this, so deep inside you. You almost didn’t want to move, didn’t care if you didn’t make yourself come with him in you. He was deep inside and he was secure there. You could feel how whole and alive he was, the way his cock throbbed, the pulse of him, the comforting heat. Like this, he was yours. Unquestionably, undoubtedly yours and no one could take him away from you. 
“Fuck, sweetheart,” his fingers tightened on you. “I… fuck… I need you to move, baby… I can’t keep goin’ like this, I need… I need you to move, need to feel you, please baby, please.” 
You didn’t respond. You just started to rise on his cock, moving your hips slow and shaky over him, making him groan. When just his head was left barely inside your entrance, you thrust back down, his cock splitting you open again, his head falling back, mouth open in a desperate gasp. 
You rode him like that for a while, you weren’t sure how long. The slow and aching lift, the devastating reclaiming as you took him again and again almost meditative. You watched each other, lost in the feeling of your bodies together, working in tandem to become something more than just yourselves. 
Eventually, Joel tugged you closer, tilting you down until he could reach your face, his large palm curving over your jaw, his thumb pressing into your cheek. 
“C’mere,” he whispered in the dim light of the moon on the snow outside his window. “Want to feel more of you.” 
You folded yourself into him, your bodies aligned, his cock still buried deep but your chest now against his, your lips overing over his own, noses against each other. Even in the night, you could see the different shades of brown in his iris like this, all of them soft and full of love for you. 
His hand slid to the small of your back, tilting your hips just so and holding you there as he started thrusting up into you and making you whimper. 
“Let me,” he said softly. 
You just nodded, letting him gently work himself into you again and again. The strokes were aching and smooth, almost rocking as he moved inside of you. The deep, full press of his thick cock into all the soft parts of you that existed because of him, the brief moment of feeling so full and whole before the tender rhythm he set within you pulled him back again. 
“Joel,” you whimpered, so desperate. You weren’t sure you could even say anything else, every other word you’d ever learned reduced down to the only one that mattered in that moment. 
“Together,” he said quietly, never breaking his rhythm. “OK baby? Together.” 
You just nodded quickly. Your body was getting tighter and tighter and you kept your eyes on his, breathing the same air, feeling the press of his warm, soft skin into yours as your orgasm built alongside his. 
“You’re close,” he said. It wasn’t a question and you didn’t need to answer. He could feel you and you could feel him, too. “I’m gonna come, want you to come with me. Going to fill you up so deep, baby, going to feel me so deep and I need to feel you, too.” 
His hand that was on your back pressed into you firmer, taking root at the base of your spine and pushing your hips lower so his cock was deeper longer, his hips pressed against your clit with more heat and tension and, for a moment, it felt as though your entire body was on fire with need before the band of pleasure that had been winding tight inside you snapped. Your orgasm hit you like a wave, rushing out from your core and flooding through the rest of your being just as Joel pressed your hips down and flush with his, holding himself deep as he came with a strangled moan. Your channel fluttered around him, rippling and pulling him into you as he pulsed deep inside. You could feel him so clearly against and inside you, every inch of his skin, every throb of his cock, every gasping breath. You kissed him then, bodies connected in every way, until your orgasms eased and you went limp on top of him. Your head nuzzled against the side of his neck and you breathed in the scent of his skin as you came back down to earth, his arms keeping you flush against him as his cock softened inside of you, the combination of his come and yours already dripping out of you. 
“Never goin’ that long without you again,” he said softly, his fingers tracing slow and easy abstract patterns over your skin. You hummed in agreement. “I’m gettin’ to be too old to be so deprived.” 
You laughed a little. 
“Should start being more careful then,” you said, reaching out to card your fingers through his hair. 
“Well now that I have the proper motivation…” 
You laughed again and closed your eyes. He held you like that for a while, until goosebumps from the winter air started prickling over your skin. He took you more firmly then, slipping his soft cock from the safe, soft warmth of you and slipping you down beside him on the bed. He pulled a blanket over the two of you and you sighed contentedly. He tugged you closer and you happily obliged, your legs tanging with his as he brushed your hair back before holding your face gently in his large hand. You just smiled a little, eyes on his. He smiled back, just enough that his cheek dimpled. 
“You’re still feeling OK?” You asked quietly after a few minutes. 
He laughed lightly. 
“Whole lot better than OK,” he replied. “I’m amazing. Always amazing when I’m with you.” 
You smiled a little wider. 
“You know,” he said slowly. “I had a lot of time to think when I thought I was about to die.” 
Your smile shifted to a frown but his didn’t, not really. His gaze was just soft, gentle. Like he was trying to leave himself as open as he could to take as much of you in as possible. 
“I remember more of that than anything that actually happened in that room. Didn’t have much in the way of regrets,” he continued. “Had you to thank for most of that. Ellie and I had made things right, I was thankful for that. I was thankful you’d come back to me, even if it was just for a night. Thankful I got to tell you I loved you one last time…” 
“Joel,” you whispered. His thumb stroked your cheek. 
“I saw Sarah,” he said quietly. Your eyes went wide but you stayed silent. “When I was unconscious, I saw her. She was someplace good, somewhere that was bright and warm like her. And there was part of me that wanted to stay with her, take care of her and make sure she was OK. But… most of me wanted to come back here and be with you and the girls. And Sarah… she told me that it wasn’t my time yet. Told me I still had things to do here, that I needed to take care of you and Ellie and Savvy and I just… I knew she was right. I felt it, more than I’d felt so many other things, I felt that. I belong here, next to you. I don’t want to have any regrets when it comes to you but right now… well, I got one big one.” 
“What?” You asked quietly, your heart beating faster. 
“That I almost died before having the chance to live as your husband,” he said. Your breath caught. “But you saved me, gave me a chance to do it right. And I don’t think I deserve to ask you for a damn thing but I’m hopin’ you’ll let me, anyway. Will you give me that chance? Will you be my wife, will you marry me?” 
Your heart was beating so fast that you could hear your blood in your ears. You reached out, hand trembling, and cupped his cheek. 
“Of course I will,” you said softly, voice thick and wet. Joel smiled, tears glistening in his eyes, and he kissed you, gentle and deep and lovely, a kiss empty of expectation and full of promise. 
When you separated, you just looked at him for a moment, taking him in, the man who would be your husband. The whole concept made you laugh, the sound bubbling up in you. 
He just smiled. 
“What, baby?” 
“I just…” you paused, still laughing a little. “It’s the end of the world, how do you even get married now? Not like there’s a courthouse…” 
“Well,” he said, rolling away from you for a moment and reaching into the drawer of his nightstand. You propped yourself up on your elbow and frowned, watching as he rolled back with a small wooden box in his hand. “Figure since the paperwork part don’t exist anymore, we can do it whatever way you want to but…” he opened the box. Inside was two rings, both dark metal, one band slender, the other thick. “Thought I’d make sure this part was covered.” 
“Oh Joel,” you sat up all the way, letting the blanket pool around your hips. You took the smaller ring from the box and held it up, looking at it up close. “Where did you find these?” 
“Made ‘em,” he said, sitting up, too. “They’re from one of Ares’ old horseshoes. Figured it was only appropriate…” 
“They’re perfect,” you breathed, turning it over in your fingers for a moment before looking at him. “Could we… I mean, I know it’s fast but… would you be OK if we just did it now?” 
“Did what?” 
“Got married,” you said, watching him. “I understand if you want to wait or want the girls there but…” 
“How do you want to do it?” He cut you off. 
You smiled a little. 
“How about we just make promises to each other.” 
He smiled back. 
“I like it,” he took his ring out and set the box aside. He held it out toward you and you took it before putting your ring in his palm. The two of you faced each other, blankets in your laps, knees brushing under the covers. 
He took a deep breath. 
“I promise I’ll love you with every part of me,” he said. “And I promise I’ll keep lovin’ you until there’s none of me left.” 
“I promise to love you every second of the rest of my life,” you replied. “And every second of whatever comes after, too.” 
“I promise to protect you,” he said. “Promise to never let anything hurt you.” 
“I promise to take care of you,” you said. “And look out for you and protect you because where you go, I go.” 
“I promise to love your girl like she’s my own,” he continued. “And I promise to take care of her and do everything I can to make sure she’s safe and happy.” 
“I promise to love Ellie like you do,” you said. “I promise to help guide her and protect her and give her the life she deserves to have.” 
You looked at each other for a moment, tears in your eyes, before Joel gently took your left hand in his. 
“Think they used to say ‘with this ring, I thee wed,’ or something like that,” he said, thumb tracing your knuckles. 
“That sounds right,” you smiled a little. 
“Alright then,” he said, lining the ring up with your finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.” 
He slipped it into place. It fit perfectly, settling at the base of your finger with a soothing sense of finality. Joel lifted your hand to his mouth and kissed you there, his lips lingering on your skin for a moment before releasing you. You held his ring tight in your palm for a second, warming the metal, before taking Joel’s left hand. You lined the ring up with his finger and took a deep breath before looking him in the eye. 
“With this ring, I thee wed.” 
You slipped it into place, lacing your fingers with his once it settled where it belonged. You smiled, looking down and seeing his ring on your finger before looking back at him again. 
“Think I get to kiss the bride now,” he said. 
You laughed. 
“I think so, too.” 
He pulled you against him gently and kissed you all soft and deep, his lips holding every promise he’d made to you and, for the first time since the end of the world, you knew what it was to feel secure.
Next Chapter
A/N: ❤️
And that's all I have to say about that.
And that there's a lot more story to come. We're not quite to the end yet, I promise.
Thank you for being here and for reading. Love you!
Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm
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sommerbueckers · 30 days
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My Brother's Best Friend pt5
(I was quite literally logged out of my tumblr account...and I wasn't gonna do smut this chapter but since I took so long to come out with this I decided to bless ur horny asses. enjoy😏)
I stood still in the shower, letting the hot water run through my hair and down my back. The steam fogged up the glass doors and filled the bathroom, reminding me how long I'd been in there. I could hear the faint ringing of my phone from under the water, it was the second time it had gone off and I was beginning to worry that I was missing something important.
With a quiet sigh, I shut off the shower and stepped out to grab my towel. Leaning over the counter, I tapped my phone, eyeing the two missed FaceTime calls I had from my best friend, Noelle. We were supposed to go to the mall together to get some Christmas shopping done, I called her back to make sure plans hadn't changed.
"Hello?" I said when she picked up.
"Hey, you almost ready?" she asked.
"Yeah, I gotta get dressed first."
"Okay, well, I'm on my way" she told me, getting into her car.
"Alright, text when you're outside" I responded.
She nodded and hung up, my home screen picture of the two of us reappearing. I clicked my phone off and walked into my room, pulling open my dresser. I decided on a sweatsuit, the Minnesota air was brutal in the winter. Letting my towel drop, I grabbed a pair of panties and began to slip them on.
"Shit, at least buy me dinner first" a voice laughed from behind me.
I jumped at the sound, instinctively covering myself as I turned around.
Paige stood there with the cockiest smirk on her face, her arms crossed as she leaned against my shut door. She had on a red hoodie with black sweatpants, her blonde hair tucked behind her ears. How long had she been standing there...And why hadn't she said anything?
Paige had never seen me fully naked, anytime we hooked up I'd keep my shirt on or she'd move my panties aside. Skin to skin contact just felt so much more intimate, and I wasn't sure if Paige and I were there yet. Actually, I wasn't sure we'd ever be there.
My mouth fell open at the sight of her. She wasn't supposed to come home for another two days, I had it marked on the calendar in all caps -- Micah's name was there too obviously...
"What're you doing here?" I asked with wide eyes.
Paige frowned playfully, "I thought you'd be happy to see me" she said, pushing herself off of the door and climbing into my bed. She laid there with her hands behind her head, eyes shamelessly looking over me. I covered myself even more, biting my lip. Paige laughed and shook her head, "Get dressed if you want to."
I got changed as quickly as I could, pulling on my sweatpants and my tank top. I wanted to wait until right before I left to put the hoodie on. I had planned to do my curl routine and a full face of makeup, just really taking the time to get myself ready, but all that went out the window the second I saw Paige.
The blonde had this ability to take complete control over me, whether she meant to or not. I couldn't think straight with her around, my mind becoming a chaotic mess as I tried to anticipate anything that would happen. She made me feel like I was everything, like nothing else mattered when we were together. The way she looked at me when she fucked me, like I was a prized possession, the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.
I finished putting my earrings in and spun around in a cloud of perfume.
"You're so cute" Paige commented.
I set the bottle back on my vanity and walked over to her, "So are you."
"Yeah?" she raised her eyebrows, sitting up turning her body to face me. She pulled me in to stand between her legs, her hands holding the back of my thighs.
"Mhm" I nodded, a sudden shyness overcoming me.
Paige knew the effect she was having on me, her smile gave her away. She stared directly into my eyes, and then I watched them roam over the rest of my face. It reminded me of how I had burned the image of her face into my memory right before she left a few weeks ago. I had done it because I was so in love with her that I was scared I'd forget what she looked like, although the click of a button on Instagram could remind me in an instant.
But why was she scanning mine? I wasn't leaving and neither was she. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
"Did you miss me?" she asked.
"Of course I missed you" I laughed.
She shrugged, "Just making sure." After a minute of silence, and her continuing to stare at me, she said, "I missed you too."
I bit back a smile, looking away from her, "Whatever."
"Come here" she said, pulling me into her lap. I straddled her, placing my hands on her stomach and tilting my head. She massaged her thumbs into my hips through the thick fabric of my sweats and smiled up at me. "I really did miss you, Summer" she said.
I nodded silently.
"Hey," she said quietly, "I mean that." She leaned in and placed a kiss on my cleavage, "I missed you here," she placed another kiss on my collarbone, "and here," another kiss - this one on my neck, "and here," and that's when I felt her hand go between my legs, "and especially here."
I felt myself getting warm, a feeling I had grown accustomed to when it came to being around Paige. Her lips met mine in a soft, slow kiss. It was different than a lot of our other kisses, than all of our kisses actually. It seemed like we were both trying to savor the taste of each other, like when it ended there wouldn't be another.
Paige was like a drug, I'd rank her up there with things like heroin and cocaine. You tell yourself that you're just going to try it, a one and done kind of thing. But then the opportunity to do it again presents itself, and you've done it before so what's the harm? After that you start to think about it more, putting yourself in situations where you know it'll be there to give yourself an excuse to use it, to be around it.
You don't even register the addiction until you're so deep in that there isn't a light on either side of the tunnel. You're just surrounded by utter darkness. It's at that moment, when instead of craving some kind of savior or miracle, you crave more of what's breaking you, that is when the realization hits you...
Paige's lips connecting with my jaw pulled me from my thoughts. I tilted my head slightly to the side, my eyes fluttering shut as I focused on the gentle feeling.
"You smell so good," Paige murmured against my skin, pulling me closer in her lap.
I moved her face in front of mine, attaching our lips for the second time. She didn't waist any time picking up the pace, her grip on my thighs becoming tighter as she pulled on me hungrily. I eagerly moved my lips against her, the desire to feel her burning like a fire within me. She bit my bottom lip, a soft whimper spilling from my mouth. Paige smiled into the kiss as she slipped her hand underneath the waistband of my sweats.
My phone pinged from the dresser across the room at the same time that Paige's hand came in contact with my clothed cunt. She teasingly ran her fingers up and down my core, my wetness dripping out of me and soaking the fabric of my panties. My phone pinged again. Paige moved my underwear to the side, beginning to rub circular motions on my clit.
"Paige..." I moaned breathlessly, hardly able to hear myself over the arousal that clouded the entirety of me. She hummed, trailing kisses down from my neck to my cleavage. Leaning back and arching further into her, I allowed her more access to me. She left marks wherever she sucked, following up with a lick to soothe the skin. We needed to stop, I needed to stop this.
I went to say something, to tell her that I had to go because Noelle was waiting outside for me. But my words came out as nothing more than a cry when I felt her plunge two fingers inside of me. The sting that occurred was masked by the pleasure that came with it. Her lengthy digits skillfully pumping in and out of me with ease, dancing around in the pool of juices that she had created.
She brought my face down to hers with her other hand, planting a sweet kiss on my lips. "Ride my fingers, c'mon, be a good girl."
I nodded my head, unconsciously pouting as I moved my hips with her fingers inside of me. Her fingers were deeper than they had ever been before, and she was looking at me with such admiration and pride, she was proud of the mess that I had become, the mess that she had made me. My eyes watered and my mouth fell open, I tightened around Paige's fingers. "Good, clench around me just like that," Paige whispered.
"I--I," I stuttered out. I clawed at her shoulders through her sweatshirt, firmly holding onto them. The sound of her moving in and out of me filled the room and she matched the rhythm of my hips. Her fingers turned so expertly inside of me, hitting my spot repeatedly.
"I want you to come all over my fingers," the blonde said into my ear, "I want them covered."
When Paige quickened her movements, I released all over her, just like she told me to. My body shook, and Paige used her other hand to hold me close to her, my head buried in her neck. She ran her hand up and down my back, placing short pecks on my shoulder and whispering sweet things to me. "So good for me," she praised with a smile, "so pretty when you come."
I reciprocated her smile when I finally pulled back from her, my glossy eyes staring into her own. My phone pinged for the third time, grasping both of our attention. Paige furrowed her eyebrows, "Who's blowing up your phone?"
I sighed, "It's Noelle, we're supposed to go Christmas shopping."
"Right now?" she asked, her face falling slightly when I moved to climb off of her.
A knock sounded on my door. Paige sat up straighter, adjusting her hoodie as the knob turned and Noelle face appeared in the crack. The sight of Paige on the bed, of me standing awkwardly next to her, of the bed itself as the covers were bunched up and wrinkled. She looked between the two of us, her surprised expression turning to one of suspicion.
"I've been texting you..." she started, her green eyes staring at me.
"Yeah sorry, Paige and I were just catching up" I breathed out, glancing at the blonde that was still seated on the bed.
"Catching up on what? She's been gone for two weeks."
Paige snorted, "Good to see you Noelle," she then turned to me, "I'll see you, yeah?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
Noelle and I watched as her lean figure exited my room. When she was sure that the taller blonde was out of earshot, she marched toward me and scanned my face. "Your cheeks are red and your lips are puffy..." her mouth fell open as she said, "You two had sex."
"No we didn't-"
"Don't you dare lie to me," she frowned in disbelief, "we tell each other everything right?"
I nodded silently.
"Good. So, we're going to go to the mall, we're going to shop, and you're going to tell me every. single. thing."
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xoxo-sarah · 1 month
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Friendly
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↝a/n: I'm just posting all my old fics in my notes app because I don't have any good ideas as of this moment.
↝pairing:Steve Harrington x reader
↝warning: angst, unrequited feelings, heartbreak, sad!reader, not proofread
|| Disclaimer: I do not own (character), or any character from (show, movie, etc.). I only own y/n and any characters I create with my own brain. ||
↝⎙ 4.27.24
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You shouldn't be here. You knew that, but you couldn't help yourself. The feelings you had for Steve were eating at you, keeping you up at night. All the time you spend together felt like torture when you thought back to them. The glanced you would spare him even though he wasn't looking. He was never looking, not like you were.
The laughing and jokes were friendly for him, something he also did with his other friends. It just felt different for you.
You tried to keep it to yourself, you really did. It just became too much. Your thoughts were overfilling your skull, spilling out of your tear ducts late at night, when you were alone in your room.
You knocked at the door before you could stop yourself.
Steve opened the door, his face turning into one of pure bewilderment. Before he could even say hello, your mouth was open, words spewing out of it like vomit.
"I know it's late but I couldn't go to sleep. I need to get something off my chest and I need you to just...listen."
Steve went to open him mouth but closed it when your eyes harshly shut, watching as you conjured up the guts.
"I love you and I need you to love me too. Tell me that your thoughts have been of me just like mine have been of you." But you didn't say that, 'cause that would be even more pathetic than showing up at his doorstep in the middle of the night.
"You make me feel wanted and needed in a way I haven't felt before, and that's too much for me to have as just a friend." Your eyes opened, staring at the way his hand flexed against the door he held open.
Steve stood, shell-shocked.
"Tell me that the times you made me feel seen were you just being friendly. Please-"
"Steve?"
A head of blonde hair walked behind Steve, smiling politely at you, hand moving across the extension of Steve's back.
Your breath caught in your throat.
She leaned up to whisper something in his ear. He finally moved his gaze from your pathetic silhouette. He looked at her, his jaw slack from your confession. An absentminded nod was enough for her to sway back to where she came from, leaving you two in silence.
How does one come back from this? It is humiliating.
Steve bit his lip, scratching at his forehead.
"Can we talk about this another time?"
This time, it was your turn to be gobsmacked. You felt as if your life couldn't get any sadder.
Without a word, you turned, not knowing what you were supposed to do after confessing your feelings like that. Tears fell down your face before you were out of his driveway.
You couldn't show your face anywhere he would be. There is no way in hell.
The old feeling in your chest that told you to cherish every moment with Steve- the one that told you to reach out to hold his hand- was now demolished and replaced with regret.
This whole thing is just humiliating.
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•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•
•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [I don't give permission!]
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auteurdelabre · 1 month
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A LITTLE SUN PART 7 (part II) Dieter Bravo x f!Reader
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rating: 18+
tags: SMUT. Penetration, Oral (m and f receiving), use of 'daddy' (but you ain't into it), use of 'baby', Dieter being Dieter, fluff, like such tooth-rotting sweetness its almost gross, idiots in love, pregnancy, talk of pregnancy body changes/self esteem, love love love, family issues, mentions of parental death.
a/n: Tumblr is dumb and won't let me post the entire chapter in one post. ARGH. So below is part two.
HERE IS PART ONE OF THIS CHAPTER.
series masterlist
Your mother is pacing around the kitchen when the doorbell rings. With a muttered grumble she strides to the front door, tugging it open with a flourish. She expects to see her pregnant daughter there, what she doesn’t expect is a six foot movie star she hates to be flinching at her.
He’s wearing a short sleeved linen shirt, freshly pressed slacks and his usually unruly hair has been combed neatly.  He even got Magda to trim his beard for him. He wants to make a good impression.
"Hi," Dieter says, his stomach churning anxiously as your mother stares him down. "I'm Dieter-"
"I know exactly who you are," the woman snaps, arms crossing over her front. "What do you want? I’m afraid I don't have any more daughters for you to buy babies from."
She tries to look around his broad shoulders. "Where is my daughter by the way?"
Dieter shuffles back and forth, his expensive dress shoes scraping the ground. Suddenly all his bravado has left him and he feels much like a chastised child. 
"I wanted to talk to you," Dieter explains. "Just you and me if that’s okay?"
Your mother's brows knit angrily. "So she couldn't even be bothered-"
"She doesn't know I'm here," Dieter interjects.
He goes to say something more when he thinks he notices a car slowing down up the block. Paparazzi. Your mother notices as well because she ushers Dieter into the house, closing the door behind him sharply. 
"You have five minutes." 
Dieter slips off his shoes and follows her to the couch, about to launch into his speech when he sniffs the air.
"Are you baking?"
"Cinnamon bread. My daughters favorite," your mother says, eyes misting. She regards Dieter a moment, softening. "Would you like a piece?" 
"I'd love one." 
He takes a seat on the couch as ordered, watching as your mother brings out a tray holding several slices of cinnamon bread, a tea pot and two mugs.
“This is so fuc- darn delicious,” Dieter corrects himself, wiping the crumbs from his fingers on his pants, much to your mother’s dismay. “I love it.”
Your mother offers a small grunt by way of reply, watching him eat and taking small sips of her tea. Dieter notices you both hold your cups the same way, forefinger and pinky slightly out. It makes him long for you, wishing you were here with him as he attempts this conversation.
But you can’t be, he knows you’re too stubborn for it. Judging by how your mother is looking at him now, it’s a familial trait.
“I wanted to come over and try to explain things.”
“There’s nothing to explain,” your mother snaps, her teacup placed on the coffee table. “You and my daughter made a baby, she’s selling it to you and she never told me.”
"I'm sorry it was a secret for so long,” Dieter says. “It's just because of my notoriety that we had to keep it under wraps.”
“From the world, I understand, but from her own mother?” She shakes her head. “Do you know how hurtful that is? To find out your only child is pregnant because of the tabloids? To think you’re going to be a grandmother and then find out she’s selling the baby off?”
“She signed an NDA," Dieter explains with a wince, knowing how awful it sounds. "I'm so sorry. She hated to do it. It was my fault."
"And your mother?" Your mom huffs. "I bet she knew she was going to be a grandma before the tabloids di-"
She breaks off, irritated when she sees the hollow look in Dieters eyes.
"My uh, my mom isn't alive," Dieter says, fingers tapping anxiously at his side. "She died when I was in my twenties."
"Your father?"
Dieter shakes his head, wincing. Your fierce mother immediately softens her tone, her shoulders lowering.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry to me about anything,” Dieter says in a soft rasp. “I’m the one who you should be mad at. Not your daughter.”
Your mother wraps her arms around herself. "How is she?"
"Hurt. She misses you."
"Must not miss me much. She's made no attempt to call."
"She's worried about what you'll say. Your opinion matters so much to her, you know that. Especially with her dad gone."
Your mother swallows. "They were so similar. So stubborn and..."
Suddenly the dam behind the woman's eyes breaks and Dieter watches her face crumple. 
"I just wish he was here," she says, shoulders shaking. Dieter feels his own eyes filling with tears, his heart aching in tandem. He can't help but reach out and cover her hand with his. 
"I’m so sorry."
"If he was here he would know exactly what to say," your mother continues, allowing his hand to remain over hers. "Michael could always get through to her when I couldn't."
“My mom knew me in a way my dad never did,” Dieter offers after a moment. “Knew exactly the right thing to say at the right time. It’s hard not having that. But you still have time with your daughter. Time that’s wasting with you two being mad at each other.”
Your mother blinks up at Dieter, a slow understanding reflected in her swimming eyes. As if she’s seeing him properly for the first time. He continues on, encouraged that it’s been over five minutes and she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“And I know you think this whole thing with the baby is a spontaneous decision and that I’m massively immature and yeah, I can be. But you need to know that when your daughter told me she was pregnant it was the best day of my life," Dieter says, his voice thick with emotion.
He takes a moment, swallowing and blinking furiously. His hand tightens around your mothers’.  
“But I’m not that guy anymore. I’ve changed. She’s changed me, my son has changed me. I’m not perfect, but I also don’t think there’s anyone in the world that will love your da—grandson more than me.”
Your mother blinks rapidly, her weathered face softening further. “My grandson?”
“If you want him to be,” Dieter explains, suddenly unsure. “If your daughter is okay with it. I don’t have any parents in my life. It would be nice for him to have a grandmother.”
Any lingering distaste your mother may have held for Dieter is wiped away in that moment. The sincerity in his wide dark eyes and the nervous way he twists the rings on his fingers endears her further.
“And I know you’re upset with her about all of this but I promise I’ll take care of her for the rest of her life,” Dieter finishes, his eyes glassy. “Even if she’s in Sacramento doing school. Even if she never wants to see me or our son. I want to make her happy and that means taking care of you too. The house is paid for; your daughter will be taken care of.”
Your mother’s hands move from under Dieter’s to over, clasping his wide hands tightly. She has a gentle smile on her face now, the anger gone from her voice.
“I thank you Dieter. That is a kindness that touches my heart. Knowing I can remain in the same house I raised my family in means more to me than you realize. But it wasn’t your place to do it.”
“I know.”
“I can’t accept it.”
“Please,” Dieter begs with his big brown eyes so round and sorrowful your mother has to blink back a new onslaught of tears. “She’s giving me the world. The rest of your mortgage is nothing in comparison to that.”
Your mother can’t help but laugh out loud at the earnestness in his expression. He grins crookedly as she laughs, wiping tears from her lash line. He waits until she sobers, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.
“Alright, I accept it. But only if you’ll let me cook you dinner every once in a while.”
“And cinnamon bread?”
“And cinnamon bread,” your mother says laughing again.  “As for taking care of my daughter? That is something you’ll have to take up with her. But be warned she’s even more stubborn than me.”
“Don’t I know it,” Dieter grins shyly, causing the two of them to chuckle between themselves softly.
“I’ll call her,” your mother says resolutely. “I need to apologize and tell her she can move back home if she wants.”
Dieter immediately stiffens. He hadn’t thought about this part.
"Actually if its okay I want her to stay with me until the baby is born," Dieter explains, curls falling into his eyes, his mannerisms anxious. "I like having my son nearby."
"And perhaps having my daughter nearby too?" Your mother peers into his face with a small curl of her lips.  “You care for her. More than a boss for an employee. Or a father for a surrogate.”
Dieter looks overcome for the moment, his dark eyes on the floor. He doesn’t know how to respond.
“That’s between you two,” your mother acknowledges. “It’s not my place to say anything.”
Before Dieter can say anything in reply he hears the sound of a frantic key turning in the lock and the front door is thrust open. 
The two of them whip their heads in the direction of the front door to see you stumbling into the house, slamming the door behind you. Your hair is wild, your face flushed and you look extremely pissed off. You look at the two of them on the couch and your brows knit.
“What the fuck is going on here?”
"How did-"
"Magda," you answer before Dieter can finish the question. "Why the fuck are you here at my house with my mom?"
You watch as your mom rises from the couch next to Dieter. Her eyes are wet and when she gazes at your very full stomach she gives a soft little gasp. 
"Honey-"
"Don't honey me," you snap, feeling angry tears welling in your eyes as you glare over at Dieter. "Let's go, Dieter."
"Baby, wait-" Dieter starts, pausing only when you whip back around to fix him with a leveling glare.
He looks so sorrowful standing there between you and your equally broken-looking mother that you find yourself relenting. You have an idea on why he’s here and even if it wasn’t his place you can’t deny that it was kind of him to try.
"Go wait in the kitchen, please."
Dieter opens his mouth to suggest something else but the glint to your eyes has him slamming it shut and nodding. You wait until he's shuffled into the next room before looking back at your mother. 
"Baby?" Your mom ventures gently. 
"He calls everyone that," you lie. 
She nods slowly but you know she doesn't believe you. Your mother also knows you well enough that she doesn’t attempt to sway you.
"Here, come take a seat," she offers motioning to the couch. "Your ankles must be swollen."
You lift a surprised brow but you waddle over to her, settling into the seat with an exhale. You look at Dieter’s leftover cinnamon bread crumbs and frown. How long was he here for? You look back to your mother, shocked at her gentle countenance. You’d expected anger or frustration, instead you see only regret.
"How did you know about the ankles?"
"I was the same when I was pregnant with you," she says coming to sit on the other end of the couch. "I carried high like you as well."
"Really?" You absently drape your fingers over the curve of your stomach.
"Oh yes," your mother smiles, eyeing your bump.
As you sit there discussing this with shy smiles you wish that this pregnancy was normal. That you had a husband and excited family that threw you a baby shower for a child you'd be able to bring home and care for at the end of it all. 
You wish your mom felt comfortable to place her hands on your stomach and to care for this little boy you carry. But she’s holding back her emotions, not wanting to get attached.
After several moments your mom shuffles closer to you on the couch, her hand coming to cup not your stomach, but your cheek.
“I’m sorry,” your mom says, and you’re shocked at the tears pooling in her eyes. “I never wanted… I just… I acted shamefully.”
“I don’t understand why,” you explain, chin wobbling. “We’ve always had a great relationship. Or I thought we did.”
“I thought we did too,” your Mom acknowledges. “But considering you kept this a secret I think I might have done something wrong along the way. You never should have been afraid to come to me with this.”
You don’t know how to answer that.
“You won’t understand until you’re a -” you mom catches herself. “A parent provides for their children, not the other way around. I felt ashamed that you felt you needed to take care of me.”
For a moment you look at her not as your mother, but as a woman. A tired woman who sacrificed so much to see you taken care of and your heart cracks. 
“I like taking care of you Mom,” you explain, swallowing the tears there. “I love you. You’re all I have left. Fighting with you these past few weeks has been awful.”
“I know honey,” your mom says and now she pulls you into her arms, rocking you as if you were still that child who ran to her with a scraped knee or boy troubles. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”
“Of course I do,” you say, burying your face in her shoulder as you let the tears flow. For the first time since your father died the two of you cry together, arms wrapped around one another, your son nestled between the two of you. Finally sniffling you pull back, wiping at your eyes.
“Were you mean to Dieter?”
“Tried to be,” your mother replies with a grin. “Impossible to be though. He’s very sweet.”
“He’s been amazing through this whole thing,” you answer honestly, feeling the need to sing his praises to the woman who usually derides him. “He’s been the most supportive, caring version of himself I’ve ever seen. Sober, sweet and I love being around him.”
Your mother’s eyes search yours intensely, so much that you blink wondering what she’s looking for.  Her gaze breaks when a shy Dieter knocks on the wall separating the two rooms.
“Uh, is it okay if I come in?”
Your mother laughs. “We’ll come to you. My daughter needs some cinnamon bread.”
The two of you stand, your mom helping you before letting her hand fall briefly to your swollen belly. You watch her face beaming as she does before her eyes go to yours.
“My baby having a baby,” she murmurs.
The two of you enter into the kitchen hand in hand. Dieter is standing by the sink, his hair even more wild than usual. He was obviously running his hands through it anxiously.
Dieter approaches you both slowly, as if he’s concerned one of you will be furious. When he sees the easy smile in both of your faces and your clasped hands he feels the tightness in his chest release.
“Thank you, Dieter,” you tell him gently as he approaches. He doesn’t push it, doesn’t ask you to elaborate. He just nods his head, smiling and coming to stand next to you. Your mother releases your hand, coming to stand in front of you both.
“Now you can retire,” Dieter offers with a hopeful look in your mother’s direction.
“No,” your mom says shortly, drawing both sets of eyes her way. You feel yourself deflate, closing your eyes for a steadying moment. You can’t stand the cruelty she’s still holding in her heart for Dieter after everything.
“Mom-“
“No, I like my job,” your mother tells Dieter, ignoring you. She comes to stand in front of him, having to look up due to her short stature. “I enjoy it. So I won’t retire. But I will work less and try to enjoy more of my life.”
You both break into easy grins.
“Yes ma’am.”
Your mother’s smile dims a fraction as she gazes between the two of you.
“Dieter has offered me a chance to be the baby’s grandmother,” your mother says quietly. “But that will be your decision my love. I won’t do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.”
You swallow. “Do you want to be his grandmother? Even if I’m not in the picture? Even if we have no legal right?”
“I would,” your mother replies without hesitation. You turn your head to face the taller man to your left.
“And you’re really okay with it, Dieter?”
“More than okay.”
Dieter’s eyes are on the ground, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions. He wishes his own mother was here, wishes she could have met you. He knows that she would have loved you.
“Then I’m okay with it,” you murmur.
He’s so grateful that his baby will have a grandmother. Even if you want nothing to do with him he’ll forever have this tie to you.
Your mother glances over at Dieter before stepping towards him. 
"Let me see your face," your mother demands cupping Dieter's stubbled cheeks in her hands and forcing his eyes to hers. A few quiet minutes pass, their eyes in silent communion before you see both sets watering.
You watch in shock as your mother leans forward and in an act so naturally maternal kisses Dieter's forehead gently.
"You're a good man," she tells him gently. "A good man who acts silly sometimes."
When tears slip down Dieter’s cheeks you feel your jaw drop.  Your mother pulls him into a tight hug, rocking him as they stand, murmuring something into his wild hair. You breathe unsteadily when his own arms go to wrap around her waist, clinging to her. He looks like a lost boy finding harbor in the embrace of his mother, his shoulders shaking gently as she soothes him in her arms.
She looks over at you, smiling gently. She tugs you over into her arms as well and before long the three of you are embracing standing in the middle of your mom's messy kitchen.
"Will you two stay for dinner?" Your mother asks eyes hopeful when the three of you break apart, all sets of eyes glassy.  
"That would be so great," Dieter says excitedly before you can answer, rubbing at his wet eyes. He wants to take advantage of being in your home. He wants to see where you grew up, where you exist when you're not with him. 
"You're Chilean right?"
"Part, yeah."
"Right, I'm going to pop out to the market," your mom says with a wide grin as she picks up her car keys. "I'll be back in a flash."
Your mother is gone excitedly out the door before you can even process what’s happening. That you’re having dinner with your boss and your mom and your unborn child. It’s all a bit much. And yet the thought warms you.
“So do I get a tour?”
“Sure,” you say grinning. Without thought you take his hand, guiding him through the hall pointing out the rooms, giving small synopsis like “this is where I was standing when my first boyfriend called and broke up with me” and “this is where I fell in the tub and cracked my tooth”
“And you know my bedroom,” you tell him with a smirk. “Very acquainted with the closet, I believe.”
He grins before taking his time looking around your room. Last time he’d been in a rush, but today he looks at everything. He sees the framed photo of you on horseback, the science ribbons for first and second place. He notices a trophy for high school tennis. He grins at the poster of Cillian Murphy behind your door. He sees the Polaroid’s of you and your friends stuck to your mirror.
“You never mention your friends,” Dieter observes pointing at the photo. “How come?”
“I never see them,” you shrug coming over to peer at them. “They all got married, had kids. I was in school and then I was working and we kind of just lost touch.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Honestly? Sometimes. But school and my career just always seemed more important.”
“You don’t think you could have both? A career and a family?”
“Not really,” you shake your head. “Can’t have it all.”
“Why not?”
“I dunno,” you shrug again. “Something has to give.”
“Only if you have a shit partner,” Dieter offers.
Before you can say anything more he’s gone to your bookshelf, looking at the tomes that reside there and muttering their titles under his breath. You watch him just existing in this room, before your reason for rushing over here affronts you.
“Did you pay off my Mom’s mortgage?”
“Yeah,” Dieter replies after a beat, twisting to face you. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
You stare at Dieter as he says this, the passion in his voice overwhelming you. Since when was this his plan? You’re supposed to take the three hundred grand and go.
“Why do that? You knew I was going to do it.”
“I wanted that money to be for you,” Dieter explains. “Not taking care of the mortgage and everything else. I’d pay for your school too but something tells me you’d refuse that.”
“Correct.”
“Your mother was right, you are stubborn.”
This gets a shocked laugh out of you. “What else did you two talk about?”
“That’s between her and me,” he says with a supercilious look on his face. “I think she might like me better than you at this point.”
Affection swims through your limbs and it carries you to him. Without warning your hands go to his shoulders, mouth pressing gently to his. He accepts this eagerly, his wet tongue dabbing against yours gently.
"Thank you," you whisper against his full mouth. "But you don't have to take care of me."
"I like taking care of you," Dieter murmurs, his nose tracing yours. "You spent so long taking care of me and everyone else; let me take care of you now."
You nod; kissing him again and feeling him slowly back you towards your bed.
“Mia,” you remind him.
“Its fine,” he assures you, hands tugging at the hem of your shirt.
“I’m not going to sleep with you when you’re in a relationship, Dieter.”
“I’m not,” he promises you, “I swear.”
You want to press him for more information. But more than that, you just want Dieter. You need to be as close to him as possible. You need to feel his bare skin on yours, inhale the crook of his neck, taste his lips.
And when he gently urges you onto your back in your childhood bed you don't fight him. You allow him to bring down your shorts and panties and even though you can't see anything other than his hair over your belly you can't stop the gasp that escapes you when his mouth begins to work over your core.  
Moments later after you've come spectacularly for him, groaning out his name with your thighs quivering against his ears and your hands fisting through his hair, he crawls up next to you on the bed. 
He traces over your abdomen, his dark eyes ever widened in wonder as he feels his son underneath his palm. Sunlight filters in through your bedroom window, giving him a haloed effect as he gazes down at you, his mouth swollen and damp.
"I don't know how I'm going to go back to normal life," you smile sleepily as you run a finger along his lower lip. "After being spoiled by Dieter Bravo school is sure going to pale in comparison." 
Dieter keeps the smile frozen on his face but inside his stomach drops.  Your schooling is going to start soon. He’s going to be separated from you. He feels his sons foot kick him and you both giggle. At least he’ll have this part of you.
He helps you into your panties and shorts before your mother returns shortly after. If she notices your flushed cheeks and Dieters extra mussed hair she doesn't comment on it. 
"I cheated," your mom says with a mischievous little smile that Dieter thinks looks identical to yours as she hands you both your plates when you come to sit at the dining table. "There's a wonderful Latin restaurant in town. They make the best palta." 
The food is just as good as she made it seem. Between the palta and the Estofado and variety of empanadas you’re quickly overwhelmed with taste. You take your time savoring it though, making a note to try more Chilean food in the future.
“So I guess I’ll move back tomorrow,” you say after a hot bite of your stew. “I only have the two suitcases.”
Nothing about moving back appeals to you, aside from seeing your mother on a regular basis. You know for a fact that being away from Dieter will hurt, but perhaps that’s for the best. You need to separate yourself from this silly fantasy.
"You can move back here at any time my love," your mom enthuses before casting a quick look at Dieter's downturned face. "But I think it would be best if you stayed at Dieter's. He has all that space and a pool and that chef-"
"But I don't like to think of you here all by yourself," you insist.
"Honey, don't worry about me. I lived with your father and then you for over thirty five years. I need a break."
You sputter a surprised laugh at this. This whole time you had been painting your mother as this sad tragic figure, when really she's a woman coming into her own just as much as you are. You swallow your mouthful, eyes darting to the man at your left.
"Is it okay if I stay at your place a little longer, Dieter?"
"Of course," Dieter enthuses through a mouthful of avocado. "I told you, stay as long as you like. And now your Mom can come visit whenever she likes."
You smile at this, holding in the urge to kiss him.
When Dieter rests his arm on the back of your chair during the rest of dinner you don't even register it happening. When his fingertips absently trace your upper arm as he listens to your mom talking about her job you don't notice. 
But your mom notices. She notices it all.
On the drive back home your mind is a muddle of things. But mostly your heart swells with the knowledge that Dieter, a man you always thought was chronically selfish did this for you at no gain for himself.
"You didn't have to do that for me," you tell him as you walk back into Dieter’s home a short while later. He’s quiet with a faraway look in his eyes.  
"I know. I just wanted to help."
The two of you are heading to the kitchen, about to put away the leftovers your mother insisted on sending home with you. Dieter takes them from your hands with a soft “I got it” before popping them in the fridge.
Dieter had always struck you as self-centered, the entire time you worked for him. From the flippant way he spoke to people in the industry he disliked, to the cavalier attitude towards other PA’s.
But right now all you can think of is the way he's continually showed up for you. The way he supports you in not only this pregnancy but your schooling, your family, your goals. You see a change in him, one that takes your breath away.
“Dieter?”
“Yeah?”
He sees your eyes and the way they go dark the longer you stare at him. The desire is so clear in your expression.  
He crosses the room and his mouth comes to yours, petal soft. He sighs, hands coming to either side of your neck, thumbs propped against your jaw. You lean into the kiss, your belly sandwiched between the two of you.
"Take me to bed, Dieter."
Dieter doesn't hesitate, his arm bands around your waist guiding you to the bedroom. 
He takes his time undressing you, kissing every part of your flesh he uncovers. He kisses the stretch marks on your belly, and he caresses the extra flesh that pads your body with a reverence that makes you teary.
Your stomach is getting too large for missionary so he sweetly urges you to roll onto your side, not doing anything until you’re comfortable. Only then does he makes sweet and gentle love to you, your head on his arm as he fills you slowly, watching the way your body responds to him.
He holds you delicately at first, not wanting to be too rough. But you’re eager, so fucking eager, and your hand goes to his hip, urging him to go harder, to go faster.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, your thigh over his, your body slowly being pumped into by him. You’re arching, whimpering his name as he holds you against him. Every stroke feels like adoration, every graze of his fingers against your clit feels like more than just desire.
“I need to hear you come, baby,” he murmurs, his nose running along your temple. You turn your face to him, kissing him gently as his thrusts deepen, his lips hot and needy.
“Wanna come for you,” you gasp, your body starting to clench around him tighter and tighter before your head is tilted back against his throat as you cry his name. Your body spasms as arousal coats his cock still buried within you.
“So good for me, so fucking good,” Dieter groans, his thrusts becoming erratic. Before long his eyes roll back and he’s emptying himself into you, hands gripping your chest and cunt, needing you as close as possible.
Slowly your breathing slows and you both grow drowsy. But before you fall asleep you roll until you’re facing him. He looks so beautiful staring back at you with sleepy eyes and his curls spread out on his pillow.
You kiss him gently, hand at his collar before pulling back.
"Dieter, I think you're gonna make an amazing father."
Something about the sincerity in your voice moves him to tears that he has to blink back. He draws you closer to him under the duvet, needing the warmth of your skin, the closeness of your body.
"Do you really mean that?"
"Every word."
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Dieter is on a unicorn floaty, half dozing in the late morning sunshine when you ask him.
"Dieter, will you tell me about your mom?"
It comes out of nowhere one day in the pool. You're half stretched out on a purple pool noodle, your lower half submerged in the clear water as you kick lazily. Dieter turns his head when you ask him. 
"What about her?"
You shift on your pool noodle, getting comfortable. "What was she like?"
Dieter takes a moment to compose his thoughts. His lower lip tends to stick out when he does it. 
"Funny. Smart. Dramatic like me." Dieter grins. "She died when I was in my early twenties and sometimes I wanna be furious about all the time I didn't get to spend with her. But then I count myself lucky I had two decades." 
You don't say much to that. You don't know why but you crave more knowledge about Dieter that isn't surface level. You crave more from him, almost like you need to know him better than anyone. 
"She's the one who encouraged me to go into acting," Dieter continues. "She worked two jobs so she could pay for my acting classes."
"Really?" 
"Yeah. She was so excited when I got the scholarship to RADA," Dieter says dragging his hand through the water. 
"She sounds amazing."
"She would have loved you," Dieter says before he can stop himself. For some reason this comment causes your heart to flip. 
He looks momentarily lost in thought before turning his gaze to you. His eyes scan the freckles starting on your shoulders, the light that shines in your hair. He's dazzled for a moment before he remembers that he wanted to ask you something. 
 "What about you? What was your dad like?" 
A little smile breaks out over your features. You rarely talk about your father but right now all that comes to you are good memories. 
"Smart. Scary smart actually. Like, every time we played wheel of Fortune he'd guess it within like the first two letters," you laugh gently. "He was the first person I told about my Masters program. The first person I told about a lot of stuff. He was always my cheerleader." 
"Sounds like a great dad."
"He loved your movies," you say, kicking your feet in the water gently. "He made me sit through a Cliff Beasts marathon one year for his birthday."
Dieter almost falls off his floaty in shock. 
"No shit. Really?"
"Yeah," you give a giggle before turning a bit reserved. "He and your mom would have gotten along, I think.”
"Bet they would have been the most amazing grandparents," Dieter says in a faraway voice.
"Definitely."
Dieter shifts in the unicorn, causing it to squeak. His sunglasses are slid back up his nose and he grows somber. 
"You must be excited about starting school again," Dieter says tightly hoping the disapproval in his voice isn't obvious.
He looks over at you when you don't reply right away. You look conflicted, almost guilty as you glide a hand through the water in front of you. 
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm continuing on with school and everything because that's what I was doing when my dad died," you offer solemnly. 
"Are you?"
"Not sure. When he died I thought it was such a natural next step to use my biology background and go into research." A niggle of doubt is there at the back of your head. "But I'm not sure that's what I want anymore."
"So you might not go back?"
Dieter hopes the eagerness in his voice isn't too obvious. 
"I don't know," you answer honestly before sliding off the pool noodle and paddling in place. "I'm tired. I think I'm gonna have a nap."
Dieter watches you walk up the steps of the pool, ass twitching as you grab a towel and head into the main house. But that's not what causes the grin to start on his face.  
You're not sure about going back to school. 
There's hope. 
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"Just this once," Dieter murmurs, his teeth skating along your pulse point. "C'mon baby." 
You’re on all fours, your stomach supported by a variety of pillows. Dieter is behind you, hands on your hips, his body tilting over yours. It’s a Saturday night and he’s just got back from a particularly boring table read.
His hands found yours without question when he got home not long ago, pulling you along with him to bed and whispering into your ear the one thing he’s wanted to hear since he got you pregnant.
You sigh heavily, eyes closed as he sinks into you.
"Please make me come… Daddy.” 
Dieter groans lowly in his throat, his cock driving into you deeply. You're too overwhelmed by the sensation to be turned off by the honorific. And if he’d just left it at that, you could have continued without further distraction.
But Dieter is completely turned on by the expression, his hands coming to hold yours to the mattress as he tilts his mouth to your temple.
"Yeah, you made me a Daddy," Dieter breathes against your ear as he thrusts. "You like that? Huh? Daddy fucking you?" 
“Not at all,” you cringe, unable to help yourself from laughing. The entire ‘Daddy’/‘Mommy’ thing has never turned you on.  “I hate it worse than baby mama.”
Dieter sighs, his motions slowing. "C'mon."
"It's creepy," you tell him. "I don't like the Daddy thing."
"Fine," Dieter grumbles as his motions slow further. "Just wanted a little dirty talk is all."
Dieter’s thrusting has gone from staccato-ed to completely still. You glance over your shoulder at him with your brows raised. His cheeks are red, he’s embarrassed. Dieter rarely gets embarrassed like this and you find it completely endearing.
 “I was just trying to have a little fun,” Dieter pouts, about to pull out of you.
“Hey hey, I like fun,” you tell him, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck so he can’t leave in a huff. You start to push back against his length, gratified when you hear him give a muffled whimper into your shoulder.
“Like maybe you tie me up sometime?”
“You’d let me do that?” Dieter asks in awe, his cock slipping further into you. You groan at the sensation, arm dropping as you gain purchase on the mattress once more. His thrusting is increasing in tempo again, stoking that pleasured spot within you.
“Yeah,” you breathe softly. “Yeah, I would.”
And you mean it. You’ve never done it with anyone else, but you would with Dieter. He doesn’t do things harsh and cruel. He touches you reverently. You trust him. “I’d let you tie my wrists and ankles,” you tell him, body arching as he continues to thrust. “Let you have your way with me.”
Dieter gives a guttural choke at the very thought of it. You tied up, spread eagle on his bed so he could go down on you for hours. Pulling delicious fucking noises from you as you writhe for him.
“Would you want that?” you tease, knowing very well he would.  “Having me at your mercy, Dieter?  Fucking me exactly how you want?”
“Yes,” Dieter almost shouts, “fuck yes I would. Please…. Fuck I…”
His forehead dips to your shoulder blade as he pulls you back and forth against his length, jutting his hips forward. You feel so good, so silken and tight and perfect and he can’t believe this is happening. That you’ve fallen into this comfortably rhythm of give and take. That you can be vulnerable with him like this.
“How would you fuck me?” you ask, feeling your climax approaching. “Tell me, Dieter, I’m so close.”
“Would eat you out for hours. Wouldn’t…. wouldn’t be able to help myself,” Dieter grunts, his cock quickly pressing into you over and over. “Then I’d turn you over...a-and I’d tie your wrists together, mmmph…. And I’d…I’d-“
Dieter doesn’t get to finish that thought because he feels you hit your peak, whining out his name as you climax. Dieter feels your cunt milking his cock and his voice croaks out some garbled gibberish as he empties himself into you.
You fall asleep not long after that, your naked body glowing in the moonlight like some goddess of myth. He realizes he would do anything to keep you like this. Happy and sated and with him.
But mostly, he wants you to want him. 
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"You said you got into RADA right?"
"Yeah, but I didn't go," Dieter says as he goes over his latest script suggestion from his agent. "Got a reoccurring part in a soap opera a few weeks before I was starting and then the first Cliff Beasts and then, well, you know the rest."
"Do you still have your audition tape?" 
"It's on YouTube. Some asshole uploaded it when I got nominated for my Oscar."
"Really? Can we watch it?"
"Knock yourself out."
Dieter watches you waddle to the tv room, excitedly bringing YouTube up on the television and typing Dieter Bravo RADA audition. 
You sit on the couch, looking eagerly up at the screen. A very fresh-faced Dieter pops up. 
"Oh my gosh you're so young!" You say with a girlish giggle. "So weird to see you without a beard."
Dieter can't help but casually make his way over to the couch, plopping down next to you and watching his younger self. 
"Hi my name is Dieter Bravo and I would like to submit myself for acceptance into your program," the young Dieter says, eyes bright and smile big. "Today I'll be performing Gloumov’s monologue from The Diary of a Scoundrel” by Alexander Ostrovsky."
"Your voice is so different."
The young Dieter positions himself slightly to the left of the screen. 
"Barely out of puberty." Dieter casts a critical eye over his formerly svelte frame. "And about fifty pounds lighter."
"I like how you look now," you answer honestly. "More manly."
Before Dieter can accept that compliment his younger self is starting the scene. 
"Look into my eyes. Can’t you see there that I’d rather die than cause you a moment’s pain?"
Young Dieter takes a moment, his dark eyes beguiling as he stares into the camera, overcome, before continuing. And there on the screen You see the same transformation that you saw back on set in Ireland. Where Dieter becomes the character. 
"Oh, if you only knew how many times your sweet, gentle smile has stopped me on the very brink of impropriety," the young Dieter pauses, his eyes shiny. 
"But even that day when I forgot myself, you didn’t turn me from the house! Oh, my God, what happiness you’ve given me. What happiness, what happiness!"
A tear is shining on young Dieter's cheek as he gives a soft smile into the camera, a look of relief on his face. 
"Holy shit," you breathe, eyes wide. "Dieter that was ... Really good."
"You sound surprised."
"Well I guess ... I've only really seen you in the Cliff Beasts movies. I didn't know you could, you know, act-act."
"You thought I won an Oscar for having a great personality?"
You give him a playful shove as Dieter's younger self comes back to the screen. 
"Thank you for your time. Hope I see you in the fall."
Dieter plucks the remote from the coffee table about to change it to something less him. He tires of seeing his face on televisions and phones and sides of buses. 
Something captures his attention though, one of the suggested videos on the right. 
"Hmmm, there's a video on home births," Dieter says as he navigates the screen. "Wanna watch? Might prep us."
"Sure."
Thirty minutes later Dieter pauses the television, both of you sitting shell-shocked next to one another. 
"That was a terrible idea."
"I agree."
The camera had captured everything. In HD detail. Up close. Including a very vivid image of a baby crowning.
"That's what's gonna happen to me?" You say in a high pitched voice, struggling to your feet. "I can't do that!"
You've been reading books ever since the strip turned pink, but actually seeing it is totally different.
"A little late for that," Dieter says from the couch watching you begin to pace back and forth in front of the television. 
"That was disgusting," you say with a particularly aggressive jab of your finger towards the television. "Did you know about the placenta? It's like I have to give birth twice!"
"At least it's not twins," Dieter offers weakly. He doesn't miss the irritation that flashes in your eyes. 
"Should we watch the rest?"
"Your call," Dieter shrugs. You take a moment, looking at the television paused on a serious looking doctor. 
You take your seat next to Dieter once more. "Okay. I'm ready."
Twelve minutes later the movie is shut off indefinitely.
"An episiotomy?" You practically shriek before leaving the room. "If that happens I'm charging you extra, Bravo!"
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Your mother starts to come over weekly for coffee. The first time she does you show her the nursery. She's all smiles and wet eyes as she walks around the space. You know she's marveling at the high-end designer items, the impossibly soft sheets and ornately carved crib. You never grew up with expensive things like that. 
When the two of you make your way into the kitchen and you make her a coffee she smiles up at you. 
"Dieter told me about the charity he's thinking of creating."
You almost drop the espresso cup that you're holding. "You talk with Dieter?"
"Of course," she nods. "He calls me to update me on the baby and texts the odd photo every now and again."
"What?!"
You're struck dumb by this. Your mother barely texts you, and now she's best friends with your boss? She smiles at your discomfiture.  But you’re blown away, and a little irritated since you also send your mom updates via email almost daily when she’s not here for her weekly (decaf) coffee checkups and snuggles.
"You fit right in here."
"I'm just part of the scenery until the baby gets here" you smile pouring her the coffee and sliding the mug towards her across the counter. "Then it's back to school and on my way to a PhD for research."
You slice up the carrot cake that Petra made for your visit (along with your help), sliding a plate to your mother and taking one for yourself.
"I wanted to talk to you about that," your mom says, gaze curious. "Why are you doing the PhD thing?"
You sit across from her, brows raised. "You know why, Mom."
"It’s just you never wanted one before your father passed," she says lightly. "You said your Masters was enough."
You don't know why but you feel defensive. 
"Well when he died I wanted to do something to honor him I guess. What better way to do that than by helping with the research?"
"Your father was a smart man, he was amazing at his job and so proud of you, you know that," your mother tells you before placing a dry hand over yours. "But his biggest joy in life was being a father."
"What are you getting at?"
"I'm saying I don't want you to dedicate your life to something because you feel like you should. This is your life, my love. You only get one."
"I know."
"There are plenty of ways to give back, to honor your father and still be around to watch your son grow up."
Your hackles immediately rise and she can tell the second they do. 
"I'm sorry," she says quickly when she sees the expression on your face. "Never mind. Let's talk about something else."
The rest of the visit flows smoothly, but you can’t ignore the way your mother looks at you whenever you mention Dieter.
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"Taco Bell."
Dieter is woken out of a deep sleep by your lips at his ear. You're curled up together in his bed, your belly prodding his lower back. 
"A Burrito supreme and a large Baja blast… And Cinnamon Twists…And four fire sauce packets."
You're warm against his spine, voice a soft whisper huffed along his earlobe. He’s dazed, his eyes blurry as he attempts to understand what’s happening.
"Huh?"
"I need Taco Bell," you urge. "Please?"
A quick glance at his phone tells him that it's nearing 2:00 a.m.
"S'too late for the delivery apps, baby," he murmurs, patting your thigh companionably as if the conversation is now over. 
For the most part, Dieter can anticipate and appease your cravings. Usually through Petra or food delivery apps. But at almost two in the morning he has access to neither. 
You don't care. 
You've been tossing and turning for hours because all you can think about is the beans and tomato and beef... You're practically drooling already. You pat his bottom politely, trying to signal he needs to get out of bed.  
"The drive thru is open."
"It's late."
"But I need it," you whine. 
You have no interest in attempting to drive one of Dieter's fancy foreign cars he keeps in the large garage. And it's too late to call a town car so you're stuck. 
"No one ever needs Taco Bell. Bringing that shit in here is offensive," he mutters into his pillow. "S'full of filler and chemicals."
You give a soft exhale through your nose, about to flop onto your back in defeat when something occurs to you. Something else that you're craving as well.  
Dieter is drifting back to sleep when he feels the light graze of your hand sliding over his hip. He thinks he's imagining it, but as the sensation continues his cock begins to stir. He goes rigid as your hand slides under his boxers, fingertips teasing his warm length as he groans. 
"You do this for me and I'll do something for you when you get back," you purr, tongue coming to trace his lobe. "Daddy." 
Dieter jumps out of the bed and nearly trips in his pursuit to grab his car keys as he simultaneously tugs on his sweatpants. 
"You want cheesy potatoes too?"
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When you wake up at seven months pregnant and see your reflection one morning you almost burst into tears.
You’re standing in front of the dresser mirror in your bikini, the only one left that fits. Your tits are practically bursting out of the cups, the bottoms tie at your hips dig into your flesh. You feel huge, you feel ugly and you feel not yourself.
There’s a knock at the bedroom door. Dieter peeks around, already dressed for the pool, a pink towel slung over his freckled shoulder.
“Swim time?”
Usually you swim by yourself, but Dieter has a rare free morning this week and he wants to take advantage. It had seemed like such a nice suggestion at breakfast, but now you balk, wishing you had anything else to wear but your fucking bikini.
Before it hadn’t mattered, but today you feel gross. You want to cover up as much as possible and you reach for your towel. But Dieter’s eyes are already drifting over your body, his cock stirring.
Dieter takes in the way your stomach protrudes out in the bikini, a beacon of fertility; his son nestled there safe within your body. He moves into the room, the towel dropping without thought onto the floor behind him.
"You're exquisite," Dieter breathes, his hand coming to rest on your belly. You feel his thumb gently rub, his eyes sparkling as he continues to stare at you.
"I look disgusting," you say cringing away from him. Dieter won't let go of your wrist as you try to flee. 
"Are you fucking insane?" 
“Dieter stop,” you say, wincing away from him and trying to pull your wrist out of his warm grip.
"You don't believe me," Dieter states flatly. 
"No I don't," you reply sharply. "It's what everyone tells pregnant women so they don't feel shitty about looking like a house."
Dieter blinks at you as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing before he’s shaking his head. His hands slide to your plush hips, turning you back to face the dresser. His eyes have blown pitch black, and his hands can’t stop from running along your body. 
"Look at her," Dieter groans into your ear. "Look at that sexy thing in the mirror."
"Dieter-"
"Keep looking," he urges you, hand gently forcing your face in the direction of the mirror before his hands slide up your bikini top over your breasts, pebbling the nipples. You swallow at the sensation, not even protesting when he unties it at the back, letting the colorful fabric drop to the ground.
You stand there in nothing but your bikini bottoms, cheeks flushed as Dieter groans deliciously behind you.  His hands come to cup your tits, thumbs grazing the protruding nipples.
“See her gorgeous fucking tits?”
You cringe away from the mirror, hating how you look. But if Dieter is lying about how turned on he is, he’s a better actor than you ever gave him credit for because his cock is swelling against your lower back, stiff and pulsing.
You let him untie your bikini bottoms, finding yourself already slick between your legs when they drop to the ground along with everything else. You watch in the mirror as Dieter sheds his swim shorts before gently urging you to place your forearms on the dresser.
You can only watch his face as he notches his cock at the entrance to your pussy, rubbing the head there and gathering the copious amounts of slick. His eyes flick from your face to your cunt as if he can’t decide which he needs to see more.
“Keep watching yourself, beautiful,” He rasps as he sinks into you, cock thick and full as you gasp. You’ll never tire of that sensation, the first thrust of his cock inside you. Your head falls forward but Dieter’s hand is there, gently making a fist in your hair and urging your face to the mirror.
"See how beautiful she looks when she's taking my cock?"
You can't see shit. Your belly is ballooned so far out you can barely handle it. But you look at your face and you see the heavy eyes and parted lips. You see the way you arch into Dieter’s body and how he towers over you and yeah... It's hot. 
"Cock drunk," Dieter tells you with a swell of pride. "All sexy and sleepy looking." 
His hands come to brace yours on the dresser, his dark eyes fixed on yours in the mirror.
"You see her?" Dieter pants, teeth gritting. "You see her tits bouncing? Feel her sweet pussy taking my cock? She's fucking magnificent. How can you say she’s not the sexiest thing alive?"
The way he talks about your reflection makes you almost jealous until you remember that it's you he's talking about. 
"You're so fucking gorgeous," Dieter babbles as he nears his orgasm. “Never been more turned on in my fucking life.”
And he means it. He means every fucking word. He can’t stop touching you, kissing your shoulder, your cheek, your mouth when you tilt back to face him. You whimper his name when he starts to fuck into you harder and harder.
“Come deep, Dieter,” you grunt. “Fuck me full.”
He does with one final thrust, painting your insides as he cries out your name.  
Despite this interlude you still suffer with crisis of confidence at times in the coming weeks. Your back is in constant pain. You waddle when you walk. You've never felt less attractive. 
Dieter is obsessed. He can't stop finding reasons to touch you, brushing your lower back when he passes you in the hall.
All pretenses of employer and employee are gone. You’re basically in his bed every night, fucking him whenever you get the chance. Neither of you observe it outright, but it’s there lingering under the surface every time he asks if you’re ready to go to bed. It’s there when you shower together, washing each other’s hair. It’s there when you both murmur good morning and let him kiss you languidly over coffee.
When he catches you napping in the sunshine on his couch he's so taken with you that you wake up to find his curly head between your legs and his mouth bringing you to a gentle orgasm. You keen against his lips, hands going to card through his hair as you come. 
You know why he's like this. It's because things are coming rapidly to an end. Once the baby is here this all ends. This ready access to sex, you lounging around his house. He'll have a newborn and you'll have a new life. You won't see him. You'll have your money, you'll be going back to school, and your mom's mortgage is paid off. 
Dieter knows how you feel about snuggling and he goes to pull away. 
"Don't," you say, arms outstretched, mouth twisted into a pout. Dieter stares at you in surprise, big puppy dog eyes wide. It makes you melt. He wraps himself around you, face nuzzling into your neck. The two of you snuggle there as you flick on the television to a Christmas special.
Just when you think Dieter is becoming a mature and sensible adult you feel him sigh heavily behind you.
“I'm not watching that depressing Christmas movie!" Dieter insists when It’s a Wonderful Life starts up. "I wanna watch the Muppet Christmas Carol!"
He can’t understand why you can’t stop laughing.
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One quiet morning with Dieter filming audio reshoots for the Rogue Duchess you sit at the kitchen table, pensive. You stare at the pro and con list you've made sitting in front of you. 
Ever since the conversation with your mother you've been second guessing your next steps post birth. Are you just doing it because you think you should be? Are you doing it because that's what you were doing when your dad died? Are you doing it because of misplaced guilt?
Your dad had been so proud of you, telling everyone about your Masters problem and how you were well on your way to a PhD like him.  
He talked fondly about having two doctors and a nurse in the house, joking that your home would become like Grey's Anatomy. 
Even then you'd felt a bit of the pressure to perform. To pursue a PhD to make him proud. In all your focus and pursuit you'd never really stopped to ask yourself... Is this what you want? 
Pros - honor dad - get to be called doctor at the end Cons  - no social life - have to move to Sacramento for several years - not guaranteed a job I like when I graduate - away from mom  - STRESS - possible burnout - job market is competitive - won't necessarily make me happy
You need to add something else. Something that's been in the back of your head screaming for your attention. You raise your pen to the paper, adding your final item to the con list. 
- Too far away from Dieter and Bubble. 
And then a sentence you write and then immediately erase before crumpling the entire paper up in a ball.
- I'm in love with Dieter. 
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[8:43am] D: It hasn't even started and I'm bored out of my fucking mind
[8:44am]: Dieter it'll be fun.
[8:44am] D: no it won't. I HATE these fucking marathon interview days 
Hours and hours of sitting with Mia and the rest of the crew talking about the upcoming film being released in a few months. He's covered in concealer and powder, his stylist has him in some absurdly patterned shirt that itches and he desperately needs a cigarette. 
[8:45am] D: I wanna be at home with you---
He hesitates before deleting that last message. He can't send you messages like that. You're not dating, no matter how much it feels like you are. He feels twitchy now, all out of sorts as he thinks about you home and waiting for him.
He sneaks off to the corner of the hotel, hoping he can get off a few puffs before Diane wrangles him back inside. 
He lights his cigarette, puffing away. He scans the space to make sure it's just hotel employees before he brings out his phone, going through his photos. He lands on the one from the other night, you mid laugh as the Jenga tower falls. You look so happy, so at ease. 
He’s so ridiculously in love with you.
How can he let you go? How can he go from seeing you every day to you becoming a stranger? You've got one foot out the door at all times and he doesn’t want to hold you back from your dreams. 
It was so easy to play house these past few months. To pretend like you were his. He was such a fool.
"Spare one?"
Dieter fumbles the phone, shoving it a hastily back into his jacket pocket. Its Mia dressed in a sleek black number, her makeup and hair perfect. She motions to the cigarette between his long fingers. 
"My last one," he says ruefully. 
Mia holds out her manicured fingers in his direction. "A quick puff then."
Dieter relents, handing it off to her. She takes a long drag, enjoying the curl of the smoke as the two of them stand shoulder to shoulder in silence. It feels awkward being together alone, the two of them haven't spoken since Prague. Dieter feels the need to fill the silence. 
"How's Sam?"
"He's good," Mia nods. "He's not secretly in love with his assistant so it's already much better than my last relationship."
Dieter can't help but let out a small chuckle at that.  Mia has been seen all over the tabloids in recent weeks with her hunky new Scottish co-star. Mia looks at Dieter with a small tilt of her head, squinting up at him.
"You tell her yet?"
"Tell who what?"
Mia takes another drag off the cigarette, giving him a leveling look.  "You know who and you know what."
Dieter says nothing, watching as Mia holds the cigarette aloft. She gives a dramatic sign when she sees. He's going to make her have to say it.
"Have you told your PA that you're fucking crazy about her," Mia says flatly. "That you want to marry her and have tons of little Bravo's running around."
"I do not."
"Maybe just the one little Bravo then," Mia smiles, handing him his cigarette. He feels her heavy gaze on him and he knows that she deserves answers. He put her through a lot and she has been gracious as hell about it.
He sighs heavily before twisting to face her head-on. "No, I haven't."
"Why not?"
"It’s…complicated." 
"What's complicated about love?"
"She told me she doesn't want to be a part of the baby's life."
"Back when she thought you only wanted to be together because you got her pregnant."
"She doesn't want me."
"Dieter I see how she looks at you. The girl is utterly besotted." 
"Might want to tell her that," Dieter huffs in forced amusement. 
Despite all the time you’ve spent together, you’ve really never made it clear how you feel about Dieter. Yes, you like the sex and you laugh with him. But you’ve never actually made overtures, talked about the future. You think of a future that doesn’t include him or your son.
Mia pauses for a moment, thinking about something. Her eyes scan the vicinity and before Dieter can do anything Mia grips him by the collar and plants a chaste kiss to his lips. Dieter pulls back immediately, his face cloudy.
"What the fuck-"
"You'll thank me," Mia promises.
He goes to say something to her about how uncool that was but a text from you sails in, almost as if fate is giving him the prompt he needs.
[8:58am]: If I wanted to postpone school for a little bit, do you think I could still stay with you? I could pay rent and everything. I think I just want to reconsider some things. Dunno if school is where I want to be right now.
“Fuck yes,” Dieter breathes, re-reading the message several times to make sure he’s not reading it wrong. You want to stay. You want to stay longer with him. He's still staring at your text with a goofy smile on his face when Mia’s voice sounds out beside him. 
“Dieter, c'mon! Interviews are starting.”
He shoves his phone into his pocket, his grin bright as he follows Mia back inside the hotel for the marathon of interviews.
You want to stay.
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The alert comes through on your phone, the setting still stuck on sending you Dieter Bravo related news items. 
You're relaxing on one of the chairs in the backyard, one hand gently rubbing your belly, the other holding your latest crime thriller novel. 
When the alert goes off its instinct to shut the book and retrieve the phone from the table beside you. Normal to scan the links that show up. 
BRAV-ROWE ROMANCE BACK ON? 
You sit up slowly, holding your expansive belly and grunting angrily. You continue reading as you walk inside, pacing around the kitchen. 
Bravo, 40, and Rowe, 25, were spotted earlier today stealing kisses between interviews for their upcoming release The Rogue Heiress. What’s setting tongues wagging is that Rowe has also been recently seen getting cozy with Sam Heughen, 43, back in her native England only last week. Was Sam just a distraction from her real feelings for Bravo? Or is this just a cleverly executed publicity stunt for their upcoming film? 
You slam your phone down onto the counter, irritation flooding you all over. 
What the fuck?
Here you are pining over this guy and he's off kissing his ex? 
Even their couple name is adorable. It fits. Your cheeks are flaming red at the realization that you fell for it. You fell for his lines, for his sweet eyes and sweeter mouth. You let yourself get swept up in a romance that isn't even real.
Dieter is an actor. He knows how to fake anything.
"I'm so fucking stupid," you say shaking your head. Bubble gives a gentle kick, drawing your attention back to the present.
 “Sorry honey. Mom’s not stupid. Just fucking naive.”
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It's dark when Dieter finally makes it home, shrugging of his jacket and toeing off his shoes. He wants to go to bed, to hold you after this long and boring day. 
But you're not in bed. You're seated on the couch with the TV off. Your crossword book is beside you but you don't look like you've been working on it. Dieter feels a smile break out over his features at the sight of you in his home. 
"Hi baby," he murmurs as he approaches, confused when you slowly turn to face him with a furious look on your face. "What’s wrong?"
“Have anything to tell me?”
“Uh…no?”
He watches you throw your head back and give an obviously false laugh. “No?”
“No.”
“Kiss any old girlfriends lately, Dieter?”
Dieter is stunned. How the hell did you find out about that? "How-"
"It's all over TMZ and now all the other news outlets," you say, teeth clenching. Dieter thinks about the way Mia checked around them before kissing him. You take a seat on the couch, arms crossed over your chest.
"I didn't just go kiss her," Dieter defends, coming to sit next to you. "She kissed me."
"Didn't really seem like you were fighting her on it."
You hold up your phone where the picture of Mia kissing Dieter is blown up. It's clear you've been studying the picture. Mia’s hand is on his collar, Dieter’s hand is on hers, but only so that he could pull it off. But to the outside viewer this looks very intimate.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“No? Because what it looks like is you kissing your ex girlfriend.”
Dieter takes in the red of your cheeks and the way you’re clenching your jaw and despite everything a little thrill goes through him. 
"Why are you so upset?" Dieter purrs.
"I'm not," you insist.
You feel furious and out of sorts and you can't tell him why because you'll sound like a jealous girlfriend which you absolutely aren't. 
"You sound upset."
"Well I'm not." You chew at your bottom lip angrily. "It's just rude you know? Sleeping with me and seeing Mia. Does she-"
"I'm not seeing Mia," Dieter interjects. 
"I have eyes Dieter," you scoff. 
"She gave me a quick peck after we talked about Sam Heughan, her boyfriend, who she is in a committed relationship with."
"Yeah right."
Dieter stops a moment to take in your flushed cheeks, bright eyes and the arms that cross in front of you. You don’t want him to be seeing Mia and that can only mean one thing and that makes Dieter feel warm all over. His arm is on the back of the couch, almost behind your shoulders.
"You're jealous."
"I'm not," you insist, face heating. 
"Then why are you acting like this?" He probes, shifting closer to you on the couch. "Tell me the truth."
He’s so close and he smells so good and you just fucking… you just…
"Because you're mine."
It comes spilling out of you like a dam, a rush, a torrent of words that once said cannot be taken back. But for once you don’t want them taken back. You want him to know exactly what you mean, especially as you launch yourself towards him, your arms going around his neck, your stomach plump between the two of you. Dieter is grinning so widely his face might crack as he gazes at you on his lap. 
"I'm yours?"
"Yes," you all but growl, pushing him backwards until his broad shoulders hit the seat cushions of the couch and you begin straddling his prone body. His cock is rock hard through his pants, pressing into your core through your panties. 
You tug them to the side, not even bothering to take them off. Dieter is already sliding off his pants and boxers, smiling up at you eagerly. He's pulsing between your thighs, hissing with pleasure as you notch him at your soaked entrance. 
"Not hers," you grunt, sliding down his length with an aching groan escaping both of you. "No one else's. Just mine. You understand me, Bravo?"
You're staking your claim and Dieter is turned on out of his mind. You've never been possessive over him before, never been so commanding. Never been so clear in your desire for him. 
"Yes!"
He wishes he could hold you in his arms, but being laid out flat on his couch while you ride him isn't exactly torture. Your pussy milks his cock, a vice -like grip around his thick length. 
"I'm yours," Dieter repeats, thrusting up into your wet heat. "Just yours, baby."
"You only fuck me," you command, starting to bounce up and down in his lap the best you can with your swollen belly. His expression is pure delight, his wide palm on your hips. 
"Yes."
"Only I make you c-come," you try to sound authoritative but your hips are rolling over his and he feels so good. You're barrelling towards an orgasm with every husky assurance from him. 
"Only you," Dieter assures you, hands tightening around your gyrating hips. "And I only wanna make you come, baby. Only want you in my bed. Only you."
He's rambling and your eyes are cheating to the back of your head. You crest so fast, hands flying to the back of the couch so you can steady yourself. His hands slide up under your shirt and go to your breasts, pinching your pebbled nipples as you keen. 
"C'mon baby," Dieter encourages as he watches your head tilt back. "Take what's yours."
"Mine," you pant as you start to come, head lolling forward. Your body starts to give small little twitches as you groan. "Mine, mine, mine."
"Yours," Dieter breathes, gazing up at you. "Only yours."
He feels you come, soaking his cock with your release. He groans at the sight of your fucked out expression, your hips still undulating. 
"Now you," you command in a soft mewl. "Come for me, Dieter. Give my what's mine."
Your hands go to brace yourself on his chest, your hips lifting only to slide harshly back down, taking him as deep as possible. He feels a pleasurable stripe go up his spine.  
"It's all yours," he offers before his own pleasure overtakes him at the sight of your heavy-lidded expression. He comes deep, deeper than he ever has and he does so whimpering your name. 
You're both panting and you groan slightly as you pull yourself off of him, sitting back against the couch. Dieter rests there a few moments, his softened cock resting against his belly. He's smiling up at the ceiling like a madman. 
Then he's stripping off all his clothes and standing before urging you to do the same. 
"I'm fucking you in the shower," Dieter tells you as he pulls your t-shirt up over your head. "I want you to give me another one."
But you don't just give just him another one because it doesn't end in the shower. Or on the kitchen counter after a midnight snack. But in his bed where he urges you to the end of the bed and fucks you slowly standing next to the mattress, your thighs spread beautifully for him as his cock lazily saws in and out of you.
His hands grip your thighs tightly, urging you to bounce against his hips. Your bodies move together, the pleasure increasing.
“So good,” you croon, your forehead dotted with sweat. “You feel so perfect, Dieter.��
You’re babbling, high on the pleasure of his cock and his nearness. Dieter revels in it, the way you’re unabashedly giving him praise, the way you don’t stop him or shy away from him whispering sweet nothings into your neck.
“And I’m all yours,” he promises. You almost think you can read love in his eyes as they gaze down at you.
 “I’m all yours,” you tell him back without thought.
His thrusts increase, his hands holding you tightly, fingers splayed over your clit. He teases and rubs until you’re on the brink of another orgasm and you finally come in tandem, both of you trembling.
“That’s my girl,” he groans, kissing behind your ear as you shiver.
You don’t tell him you’re not his girl because right now you feel like you could be.
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You wake up the next morning in Dieter’s bed with one of his legs wedged in between yours, his arm draped over your middle and his forehead against your neck. It feels right and it feels perfect and as your sleep clears…A mixture of shame and disbelief overtakes your body.
What the fuck was that last night? 
You'd been almost mad with rage at the sight of that TMZ pic. And when he'd come onto the couch you'd just felt this strange possessiveness overtake you. 
Just want you in my bed. Only you. 
Those words were so nice to hear. So gratifying. And you believed him about Mia and the photo. It had been all too easy to move past it, to allow him to lick into your mouth as he fucked you. You glance over your shoulder to see him sleeping, his hair falling into his closed eyes. 
Mine. 
No. Not mine. 
He's not yours. He can't be.
He's Dieter Bravo and you're you. Thinking that somehow you could be together is a delusion.  Dieter just hates being alone. And he knows that being a father is a huge deal. He knows that it's all going to rest on his shoulders and he's looking for a lifeline as your due date grows rapidly closer.  
He doesn't actually have feelings for you.
It's just that Mia might be out of the picture and he's clinging to whatever is in the vicinity - today it happens to be you. Tomorrow it'll be whatever model he's paired with at the next photo shoot. 
You've known him long enough to know his moods and his ever changing interests. In a couple of months when the baby is here and you're in Sacramento he'll probably have forgotten your name. 
The thought hurts if you linger on it. He's just clinging to a lifeline and you can't be around when he does inevitably move onto the next woman because it'll break your heart. 
You need to get the apartment now. You need to find out where you're going to be staying next semester. You need to be planning your life post birth. 
He didn’t even write back to your text yesterday even though it said he’d read it. The one asking if you could stay longer, that you were considering postponing school. And you know why – because this wasn’t the plan. Because Dieter’s interest is waning and you know it.
You pull yourself from the bed, out of Dieter’s warm arms and you try your best not to look back at his still sleeping form as you tiptoe out of the room.  
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You return sometime in the afternoon to Dieter storming around the kitchen, looking frantic. He barrels towards you, tugging your hands that you quickly slide out of his grip.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?"
“I had it on silent.”
"Where were you?"
"I was at the library," you say as if it were the most obvious answer. Dieter looks like he’s been fisting his hands through his hair all day.
"You're not supposed-"
"I know I’m not supposed to leave, but I wore sunglasses and no one recognized me." You put your purse down on the ground. "I just needed somewhere quiet to organize my thoughts. I needed to research apartments without distractions."
"Apartments," Dieter repeats slowly. 
"Yeah, for next semester," You say breezily as you push past him and make your way into the kitchen. He follows hot on your heels like a desperate puppy all big eyes and furrowed brows.
"Next semester? I thought you were thinking of postponing?"
He watches you glance around in the fridge before pulling out a bowl of blueberries that Petra has left for you. 
"No point," you say, popping one in your mouth. "I decided I need to get focused and start as soon as possible. That reminds me though; I don't think I can really stay long after the baby is born. I'll want to get to Sacramento as soon as possible."
Dieter looks as if you've punched him. He's gone pale, his large eyes luminous. He's sagging against the counter as if his own body can't support him anymore. 
"What? Why?"
"I told you, I need to focus," you tell him, popping the blueberries back into the fridge. "And I know that I don't get paid until the Bubble is born but I'm wondering if I can get half now? I need to put a down payment on an apartment out there."
"You're buying an apartment in Sacramento?"
"Of course," you say, taking a deep breath. "I'll be in school for a few years; the rest of my Masters then the PhD, then my residency out there. Makes sense." 
"But ... You weren’t even sure about it," Dieter says weakly. 
"That was before I really thought about it," You say, shrugging. "I can't sit around my boss's house all day organizing his next manicure and making sure his latest fuck buddies sign NDA's."
Dieter straightens immediately, his jaw clenching.
Too far.
As soon as you say it you wish you could take it back. It's an ugly, unfair thing to say and you both know it.  But you feel exposed, like a raw nerve.
Dieter feels everything inside him twisting hideously. He was so fucking deluded to think you'd stay, to think you'd fallen for him the same way he has for you. He wants to scream at his idiocy. 
How are you just so okay with this? How can you walk away like the last several months have meant nothing?
Dieter can only stare at you, his eyes going from wide to narrowed. His hand curls into a loose fist at his side, the other still braced on the counter. 
“There's a contract," Dieter all but growls. "You get your money once the baby is born."
"I know,” you say quickly. “It's just that the tuition is due this month to hold my spot for next semester."
"That's not my problem."
You take a step back, brows knitted. You weren’t expecting that. 
“But-“
"You signed a contract stipulating that you wouldn't get the money until the baby is born," Dieter croaks. "So there's your answer."
He turns from you, heading down the hallway to his art studio. You follow close behind, waddling quickly to keep up. 
"Dieter I can't afford the place without that money."
"Read the contract," he snaps. "You signed it."
He quickly moves into the studio, slamming the door behind him.
He hears you on the other side of the door, breathing heavily. He’s worried you’re crying.
Finally he hears you shuffle away and he moves to the window, sitting in the chair he reserved for you when you return home with your son. He imagined painting both of you, the light bathing you both in a dreamy glow.
Dieter is devastated, his head resting heavily in his hands as he fights back the urge to sob.  
What the fuck happened? One minute you were insisting he was yours, your bodies working together beautifully. The next second you're telling him you're halfway out the door. 
You don’t want to be a mother. You never did. You always made that perfectly clear. He was just too besotted to understand.  He looks around his art room, feeling a fury building within him. What the fuck has this all been for? Why the fuck is he so fucking stupid? Why did he have to go and fall in love with you? 
He needs drugs. He needs alcohol. He needs something to take this stabbing pain away. And just as his trembling hand goes to his phone to call up Corey Brigham he glances up at the painting he's been currently working on. 
It's an oil painting image from a dream he had recently. One where he stands in the ocean up to his knees, the wind gentle and the day mild. Dieter is holding you back against him, his head over your shoulder, both of you gazing down at the tiny infant in your arms. 
And there's his son, eyes closed, a soft smile on his face. The image of what Dieter things he’ll look like.
My son. 
The cell phone is pushed back into his pocket. He's not living just for himself anymore. He's got a son he will put before himself in all ways. His son will not grow up with an absent father like Dieter did. 
All of a sudden his studio door bursts open. You look harried as you stride in, fixing him with a glare. He knows you want to tell him off and he wishes you didn't look so beautiful when you’re angry. 
"You're not supposed to be in here," Dieter insists, feeling a stab of anxiety go through him as you walk towards him. He leaps up from the chair, almost tripping over himself in his desire to usher you out of the room.
“We were in the middle of a conversation,” you snap. “You can’t just-“
Your cutting remarks die before they can be completely formed because as you glance around the room your eyes widen in shock. 
Dieter’s art room has always been a mix of canvas, paint spills, old coffee cups and grotesque sculptures. But right now all of the painted canvases are positioned around the room, sketches lining the drafting table under the window.
And they are all of you.
Ones of you with your belly swollen, sleeping on the couch. Others of you cross legged at the table hunched over your laptop. There's one of you with your face serene as you lay the bathtub, that night Dieter and you talked for hours. Snapshots of time, your belly at different stages. 
"Are these..." You go over to a stack of sketches. “Are these all me?”
Dieter is silent, his eyes drifting to your face when you take in the portrait he did of the three of you. Your hand goes to your belly instinctively as you take in the image.
“I always imagined he’d look like that,” you say with a soft little huff.
Your eyes go to the drafting table, sketches in charcoal sticking out to you. Some are dated as far back as Ireland, some even before that. Your fingers linger on one in particular of you chewing your bottom lip in thought, a pencil raised between your fingers. You glance at the date. 
“This was before I was pregnant.” You trail off, gaze moving back to his face. "How long have you been sketching me?"
Dieter shrugs and for the first time since you've known him he looks truly embarrassed. 
"A while." 
You move slowly towards him. "Why?"
He sighs, only steps away from you now.
"Isn't it obvious?" 
You swallow, feeling your heart pound a devastating rhythm. No, this can’t be real. He can’t be suggesting what you think he is.  And yet as he stands there, dark eyes wet you can’t help but wish for it to be real.
“I'm crazy about you,” Dieter confesses.
No, not confesses. That would suggest he wanted to keep it hidden, when it’s anything but.
“I just want to be with you all the time. I want to share everything with you. My life, my home, my everything. I want you here in this house with our son. I want to support you going back to school. I want to make you happy in any way I can but I want you to do it as mine.”
You want to say something, to say anything to this grand romantic speech, but your throat has tightened and your mouth gone dry. All you can do is stand there, staring at him like a pregnant idiot.
“And I know that’s selfish to say and I know it’s useless because you don’t love me back but I-I just needed you to know before you left,” Dieter continues, tears wetting the side of his cheek.
“You don’t need to love me back. Our son is a piece of you and if that’s all I can have of your love, that’s enough for me. He’s more than enough. I just. . . I needed you to know the truth, all of it. I fell for you way before you got pregnant, but after this time together I just, I’m...I love you.”
And now his tears are brushed away by the back of his hand and he looks as if he’s going to turn away from you, overcome with everything that he’s just admitted.
You can barely see through the tears in your eyes. All the feelings that have been swirling within you compel you to pitch forward, your hands outstretched, his name on your lips.
You’re about to cross the room, desperate for his touch when a stab of pain goes through you sharply, causing you to almost come to your knees.  You begin doubling over with a cry as Dieter runs to close the distance between you, his hand immediately on your back.
“What is it, baby?”
Dieter is confused when he sees an overwhelming amount of clear liquid running down your legs. Your eyes are round, wide and terrified when you look up to him.
"Dieter, I think I'm going into labor." 
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