#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jinmindeulle · 4 years

Text

the art of love | cs

pairing: choi san x reader ft. mentions of park seonghwa

word count: 5.1k

genre: artist!reader, florist!san, exes to lovers au | angst, fluff

warnings: minor swearing

find ateez’s masterlist here!

enjoy ♥

How many deep breaths did I have to take to put myself together every time I started driving back to my hometown?

I think I stopped counting five years ago. It didn’t matter how many times I had done that, it had always driven me crazy.

But this time, it was worse.

“Please, text me when you’re on your way. Let’s meet at Jjinsong’s Café before going home. Be safe, love you!”

Yet, I couldn’t be mad. I missed my family too much to be upset over that. It’s been seven years, y/n, get over it!

I replied to my sister with a short message full of heart emojis and I put my phone inside my pocket. I started the car and glanced at my (ex?) apartment floor. Hope to see you empty when I get back.

Last time I visited my family’s home in Namhae, it was all tears and sad eyes. Making my way back to Seoul was one of the hardest things for me. However, every time I went back to the capital city, the driver’s seat was always taken by the same man, who at least tried to make my trip bearable by holding one of my hands when he could. But that day, I was the one driving, all alone.

I couldn’t break the news to my mother over the phone. She had gotten attached to him over the years. But she didn’t knew the whole truth, and honestly, going back to Namhae was way cheaper than calling my mom to tell her that I had rejected my boyfriend’s marriage proposal without second thoughts, and that my life was just a mess in general.

And I also needed to see her, my dad, my sister and my nephews. They were going to help healing my open scars. At least try to.

I picked a random playlist and kept it on repeat the whole trip. Fortunately, being a Thursday, the traffic was not that bad, especially at such an early hour. I really didn’t want to stay under that roof any longer. I felt miserable there. Why did I have to put it off that much?

“Why did you have to put it off that much?”

“I wonder exactly the same”

My sister looked at me with a raised eyebrow while she quietly sipped her coffee.

It had always amazed me how calm and collected Eunjung acted and reflected in situations like mine. She would never get upset unless it was the end of the world, and that hardly ever happened.

“I knew something was wrong since the last time you came home with him”

“But it was not that bad back then”

“You sure?”

“Well…”

He had been promoted a week before and his father had announced that he was soon going to retire, leaving him his position as CEO of one of the greatest companies in South Korea. It had easily gone to his head, and I wasn’t able to stand staying in the same room every time he brought that up.

“Maybe you’re right” I sighed, quietly stirring my own coffee. “I honestly don’t know, Jung. I didn’t like to think about it because it meant doing something about it. And I think I was way too comfortable living like that to try and change it.”

“And he made you do it”

“Pretty much, yes. I couldn’t get married to him. I don’t think I loved him enough to sacrifice what I wanted in life just for him”

“I’m glad you did that, y/n. It means you’re still chasing your dreams”

“I mean, yeah. I have always been. Not actively, but I kept dreaming about having my very own gallery, and everyone in Seoul wanting to have my art pieces on their living room’s walls.”

“Why not everyone in the country? Or in the world?”

“My dreams are more of the realistic type, Jung” I chuckled, munching my last chocolate cookie.

“How are you going to tell mom?”

“With your help?” I smiled innocently, trying to display the best puppy face I could master.

“And how do you want me to do that? ‘Hi mom, y/n here broke up with Seonghwa right after he proposed to her because it was not the life she wanted! Please don’t be that happy, it will break her poor heart!’”

“Eunjung! Please!” I begged “She won’t leave me alone and…”

“She will” my oldest and only sister interrupted me, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “There’s been a rumour going around…”

“Wait, what’s going on?”

Eunjung sipped from her blue coffee mug and looked at me with the same innocent eyes I had displayed some seconds ago. Then, she quietly put the mug down and got closer to me over the wooden table, encouraging me to do the same. Once we were close enough to avoid being heard by the rest of the customers, she whispered in my ear.

“Rumour has it that Choi San is getting divorced”

I resoundingly sat back down, looking at my sister with a mix of weird emotions in my eyes. I hadn’t heard his name in ages. Not because I happened to not hear it, but just because I had deliberately asked my family not to bring his name up when I was around.

“Eunjung…”

“His wife cheated on him”

“Please, stop” I murmured, tightly closing my eyes, trying to get rid of the million memories that my brain decided to bring back after so many years of suppressing them. “You know how I feel about him”

“You’re telling me that after more than seven years you’re still upset about him and what you went through? You were like twenty years old, c’mon! You’re a woman now, y/n!”

“I was twenty two, and yes, I’m over it. But I don’t want to know, hear or talk about him. He’s dead to me. He’s been dead to me since the day I moved to Seoul, and will be until the end of my days”

“I didn’t know it was that deep”

“You were too busy taking care of your babies, Jung. And I’m not complaining here, I just know that you never got the full story, but it’s OK. It’s in the past now”

“You sure?”

“Stop making me question my life!” I cried, throwing a used paper napkin right at her face.

“What do you want me to say?”

My mom had always been understanding. She would calmly nod and hug me, telling me that everything was going to be okay, and letting me soak her blouse with my teenage tears. However, there were situations in which you could never guess what her reaction would be. And that was one of those times.

“Honey, I think we all knew that you were going to end things with that guy” my dad intercepted “but we weren’t aware of the fact that it was that bad”

“In all honestly, I wasn’t either” I murmured “it was just my routine. I had been waking up next to him for nearly five years. I had a job that let me live comfortably and not worry about anything else than buying expensive clothes every now and then because I was supposed to be accompanying Seonghwa in every fucking company’s party” I allowed me to cry for the first time, letting the pain and desperation out “I was living like a damn princess. But I never wanted that. I had never wanted that!” I sobbed. A pair of gentle arms held me tight, and I instantly knew that it was my mom. I hugged her back, holding onto her like she was the only oxygen mask available in a crashing plane.

“I know dear, I know. And I’m proud of you. You did what you wanted to do, because you should always do that. And it’s OK. It will never be a bad thing to follow your heart, y/n”

I nodded, drying the flowing tears with the back of my sleeve. “Thank you mom, dad. I love you”

“We love you too, darling” my dad affectionately kissed my cheek, chuckling when I showed him a weak smile. “Why don’t you take a shower while I finish preparing lunch? I bet your nephews want to see you as much as you do”

“Yeah, will do” I nodded, grabbing my large pastel purple suitcase. “I need to recharge before seeing those little demons”

The whole Thursday and the day before had been an emotional rollercoaster, so I expected to get the sleep I deserved. But sometimes things don’t go as planned. Just like my life, really.

The first night that I slept in my old room was just a blessing. No alarm clocks were rushing me out of bed, no angry faces were shaking me out of sleep, and no boring tasks were waiting for me in my office’s desk.

“Aunt, wake up!”

I opened one of my eyes when the curtain was drawn and sunlight hit my face. I was about to bury my head in one of my pillows when the oldest of my nephews, Jiwon, took it away from me and slapped me with it.

“Mommy’s taking us to the park so we can have a picnic as breakfast!”

“And told us to wake you up so you can go with us!”

“Please, auntie! Wake up!”

I wanted to scream. I swear to God I loved those kids, but sometimes they made me think twice about having my own in the future. Yeah, well, it won’t happen anyways. You’re single now, and you’ll probably be forever.

“C’mon auntie! Or mommy will be upset!” Jihwan cried.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “Go tell your mom that I’ll be downstairs in like 10 minutes”

“Okey dokey!”

Getting ready in the mornings was not my favourite thing to do. I liked to pick whatever was clean in my closet and wear it like it was a Prada dress. Nonetheless, it was never like that for me. I had to be well dressed. I had to wear the actual Prada dress. I just couldn’t choose.

But that day, I could.

After taking a shower, I took my old, worn out pair of jeans out of my suitcase and put them on.

“It’s been so long since I wore these jeans” I whispered, caressing the fabric.

Next, I chose a simple, colourful shirt that I myself had intervened years ago, and tucked it in. The most comfortable pair of sneakers finished my look.

“You look like you’re twenty again”

“Oh Lord Jesus, knock next time!” I shouted, startled by my sister’s voice.

“You’re back to being you. I like that” she smiled at me from the door frame. “But hurry up! These kids are driving me crazy down there”

Taking a look around that familiar yet so long forgotten park, made me feel emotional once again. That was the reason why I always tried to avoid it every time I decided to return to Namhae. My hometown brought back too many memories, memories that I had decided to erase seven years ago.

But I was tired of it. And at that moment, my future was uncertain — what I had always feared the most. Bringing back painful memories was nothing for me at that point.

“Fluffy is crazy!”

“Give it to me, Hwanie” I took the red dog leash from my youngest nephew’s hand, trying to prevent the huge dog from running around the park chasing the ducks, and probably throwing to the ground the old ladies that were feeding them. “When did this dog get this big?”

“We are feeding him puppy food that makes him stronger, auntie!”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t d… Fluffly!” the dog was able to release himself from the leash while I was giving wise advice, and started running towards the ducks, leaving us four way too far away to stop him before a massacre happened.

“Oh no!”

I reacted as fast as I could, although I knew I was way too late. My legs were not that fast, and even if they were, how was I supposed to have enough strength to pull him away from innocent ducks and old ladies?

Just when he was about to throw himself over the lake, a man in a black hoodie that covered most of his form took him from his collar and kept him under control. I kept running towards them, busy thinking about what that crazy dog would do to the stranger if he made a false step.

But I was stunned — and out of breath — when I found out that the beast was happily wagging his tail to the man, while he petted him. “Are you still misbehaving, Fluffy? Didn’t I teach you to stay calm near the ducks?”

“Uhm… hi?” I breathed out, trying to call attention to the man who still had his back to me. “The dog…”

“Are you still struggling to ta…”

My eyes watered in a matter of seconds. The man that I was successfully avoiding for years was standing right in front of me, looking the way I remembered him, like seven years had done nothing to him.

But he looked tired. Like he was going through hell and was needing a break from it all. His eyes had all the time shown his feelings, and back then, I was the only one able to read him like an open book. I knew in an instant that he was feeling like crap, but there was something else.

And maybe he was not the man that I used to know. Well, not maybe. He wasn’t the Choi San I had been in love with. The Choi San that I had cherished like no one else, who I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with and grow old together.

And I was not the same either.

“I…”

“It’s been so long” he sighed, looking me in the eye. I felt intimidated. I had forgotten how powerful his glances were, no matter the situation. He had always managed to do that to me, and I wasn’t ready to go through it once again. I had been invested in studying his glances way too many times in the past, and I was never able to reach a reasonable conclusion. So I just settled for leaving that matter alone.

“Yeah…” I exhaled, playing with the read leash in my hands.

“I didn’t know you were visiting your family”

“You know when I come here?”

“Of course I do. Everybody knows. It’s a small town, y/n”

I closed my eyes tightly upon hearing my name leave his lips. I felt like crying all over again, and I wasn’t willing to let him see me like that anymore. He had had enough of it. We both had.

“Should have guessed it” I nodded, looking down and avoiding his gaze. “Can you give me Fluffy back?”

“Oh yeah, sorry” he petted the dog for the last time while I secured the leash back on his collar “He’s been misbehaving a lot lately”

“You know him?”

“I helped Eunjung a couple of times with him. She told me it’s been hard to keep him quiet when they take him out to the park so I offered to help. I need to take a break from life sometimes, and he’s great company”

“He seems to like you a lot” I smiled weakly, looking down at the happy dog who was still wagging his tail while looking at San with what seemed like adoration.

“I think so, yeah” he giggled softly, petting him once again. “He’s nice, but he needs some rules before it goes out of hand”

“I’ll make sure to tame him, then”

“You’re staying?” I mustered all of my courage, and looked up to meet his eyes. His voice tone had changed tremendously, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. This was a new Choi San for me after all.

“For some weeks, yeah. I still don’t know how many, to be honest”

“You’re on a little vacation with your boyfriend?”

“I…” I was about to reply, but then it just hit me. I was talking to Choi San, the man that had marked my whole existence with burning, hurtful words. He had given me everything and taken it away from me as fast as he could. So no, I was not giving him explanations. “Yeah. Well, goodbye, San.”

And I left as fast as I got there.

After my encounter with San, I kept thinking about him and everything that happened in those years together. Not only the tragic ending, but also the beautiful things. And that made me realize that I could at least get part of it back.

Although Eunjung saw everything, she didn’t bring it up. She knew that I was struggling — and I’m pretty sure she heard me that night.

So while a soft breeze accompanied me as I was watching the night skies in the petit balcony of my room, I decided to make my way towards the basement to find the boxes full of the stuff I had left there and never used ever again. Many oleos were dry and unusable, but some others seemed to be just fine. I took one of the empty canvases and my easel as well as my collection of paintbrushes, and went back to my balcony.

“How had I missed you” I whispered, looking at my empty canvas. Tears gathered in my eyes, and a sad smile appeared on my lips as they rolled down my cheeks. “I really missed this”

But although I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything more than a soft stroke which was supposed to be the very same night sky above me.

My hand didn’t respond. It was painful.

So I let it all out. My desperate cries were most probably heard around the neighbourhood, but that was my last concern. The only thing that was supposed to make me happy turned out to be a total failure.

I had no purpose. I had ruined my career as a painter years ago. Why would I paint a night sky that would be seen by no one but me? That would be recognized by no one but me?

San was right.

He had been right all along.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you ran into San yesterday?”

Mornings at home were usually not that noisy, but that day it had to be. My mom had organized a tea party with her girlfriends, and I was supposed to help her out as the only one who was free around the house. My dad was out of town for the weekend because of work, and my sister decided to go out with her sons, probably trying to get away from our mom’s demands.

“Eunjung told you?” I sighed, mixing the cupcake mix faster than I was supposed to so that I could get out of there.

“Yep” she nodded.

“I don’t want to talk about him. You know he’s dead to me”

But even though I said it bluntly, I was feeling like that sentence had no meaning to me anymore.

“You’re being too rude, y/n”

“I’m being honest, mom.” I stopped my eager mixing and looked at her, supporting my weight against the kitchen counter, and crossed my arms over my chest. “I know you and everyone in this town love San. But I don’t, and I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Please”

“Fine” she sighed “Then lend me a hand with the stra— oh Dear God!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I was supposed to bake a strawberry cake but I totally forgot about buying the strawberries”

I rolled my eyes. Totally my mom’s behaviour. “I’ll go to the supermarket. Anything else?”

I shouldn’t have asked that.

Making my way down the aisles, I struggled to find everything that my mom asked me to buy.

“Where the hell are these fucking powders?” I murmured, slowly walking with my cart and carefully reading each package. “Well, not here”

I looked in front of me to check the signs over the aisles, but my eyes encountered something very different.

A painted night sky.

I knew that painting. I knew that night sky.

Those soft strokes and the shiny details on the moon were familiar. Too familiar.

Of course. They were mine.

And once I understood that I was not looking at an actual painting but the back of an intervened denim jacket, it all came crushing down once again.

But I didn’t have enough time to run away.

He turned around and saw me. I froze like I hadn’t just seen him the day before. My eyes became glossy once again. Keep it together, y/n!

“I thought that yesterday was a coincidence. But I don’t believe that anymore”

San was right in front of me now, a couple of meters away from me. He was carrying some instant noodles in his hands and a bottle of water.

“Let’s not do this, please” I shook my head, tightly gripping the cart’s handle.

“We need to talk, y/n”

“There’s nothing to talk about, San” I gasped, avoiding his eyes.

“If your eyes keep watering whenever you see me and my heart keeps pounding whenever I see you, then yes, there’s a lot of talking to do” he calmly stated, taking a step closer to me “I know you have been avoiding me, and I cannot blame you alone. I also had whenever I knew you were around. But this needs to stop” he sighed “I am aware of the fact that you’re in a relationship and I don’t int—“

“I’m not” I interrupted him, looking at him in the eye “I left him. That’s why I’m here”

“I’m… I’m so sorry to hear that” he said, and I could clearly see the sincerity in his eyes.

“It’s okay…” I whispered.

“Can we please meet so we can finally say whatever we have to say to each other before you leave?”

“San, I… I find it really hard to talk to you” I came clean, playing with the ends of my shirt “You hurt me a lot, and… and I really don’t want to keep digging in the same old scars. But maybe…” I took a deep breath “Maybe it will help to finally close them”

He nodded “I know, y/n. I need this. We need this”

“What about your wife?”

I just had to ask. He knew about me and Seonghwa, so it was only fair.

“It’s a long story, but in a nutshell, I’m divorcing her”

“I’m so—“

“Don’t bother” he shook his head, chuckling with a noticeable pain in his voice “I’m not sorry, so no one should be for me. Especially you.”

I don’t know why I was so nervous. It was just San. Choi San, that beautiful, talented and perfect man.

And that was the problem.

Choi San had always been a mystery. A simple mystery. Back then, he liked to show me that he needed to wear nothing more than a dazzling smile to make my day better. He used to take me out at night to stargaze because he thought that I could find inspiration up there.

“You need to paint these, baby” he had said “I know you’ll do an outstanding job”

And of course I painted them. Every single one of them.

“Could you pretty please paint this same sky on the back of my denim jacket?” he had asked.

“Why do you want me to do that, Sanshine?” I had chuckled, looking up from his chest so that I could see his stunning features illuminated by the stars.

“Because today I feel like I could do anything I want with my life. I have you, so that’s enough” he had replied, sweetly kissing me afterwards.

I hadn’t been enough, though.

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted when I felt his sweet perfume coming near me. I turned my head to my right, and I was able to distinguish his slender form from afar. He was still wearing that denim jacket and carried a large envelope in his hands.

“Hey there” he softly smiled.

“Hi San” I replied, trying to get rid of any sign of desperation in my voice.

“Do you want us to stay here or you prefer to go where used to… hang out?”

“I’m perfectly fine here” I sat back down on the bench, and he cautiously did the same, both of us in each end of it. The evening was warm and a nice breeze hit our faces. Although there were no stars yet, they were on their way.

And I honestly wasn’t ready to stargaze with San.

“Shall I start by saying that I am truly sorry?” after some minutes of silence, San broke the ice. “I never meant to hurt you like that. But I know that saying sorry now it’s meaningless. I just want you to let it all out, say the things that you wanted to yell at that 23 year old me but you never got to” the sorrow in his voice was evident, and I believed him. I felt how sorry he was for what he told me that night.

But it still haunted me. So I had to tell him.

“You ruined my dreams, San.” I whispered, already feeling hot tears go down my face. “You were my only fan back then. You encouraged me to keep going, practising, learning, and experimenting. But that night… you just threw that away. Why would you tell me that I was never going to be successful? Why would you yell right at my face that I was talentless?” I sobbed “That my paintings were nothing special and that I would never become a renowned artist if I kept painting night skies, when you were the one who encouraged me to do that in the first place?” And just as he wanted me, I let it all out. “You buried my dreams. You crushed them and you even made sure to throw them to the trash before leaving. I hated you for so long! I despised you! You were my best friend who suddenly became my worst enemy. But why? I just want to know that. I don’t care if you still think that my paintings were garbage. That’s my last concern” I sighed, violently drying the still falling tears “I just want to know why”

I looked at him, and it made me feel a little bit better to know that I was not the only one crying about it. Although he kept silent, his cheeks were soaked, and his eyes reddened and puffy. “You were talking about leaving Namhae” he whispered, looking down at the grass that surrounded us “and I couldn’t go with you, so I just needed you to stay. But after you moved to Seoul, I realized that I was being selfish and that I thought of my happiness over yours. I was going to be happy if you stayed with me, working at the flower shop and painting night skies as a hobby. But you would never have been if you did that” he cried, letting out a sorrowed and choppy breath. “And for the record, I never meant those words, y/n. I never believed that, and I know for a fact that I’m still your number one fan. You are the most talented person I know. You are amazing, and you more than anyone in this world deserve to be recognized out there. I’m so sorry for making you believe the opposite.”

I stayed silent, processing San’s explanation.

If we just had talked it out back then, maybe, just maybe…

“We were young and stupid” I finally replied. “I was trying to get out of Namhae to become an artist and I tried to take you with me. You were building your flower shop here and you tried to make me stay. It was never going to work out even if we tried” I reasoned, getting closer to him.

“But I shouldn’t have said that anyways” he shook his head “I prevented you from pursuing your dreams”

“I was stupid enough to believe that and stopped trying. I should have kept painting despite your words. I now see it” Slowly, San raised his head and looked at me in the eye. I weakly smiled at him, taking one of his hands for the first time in seven years. “I’m sorry too, San. I blamed you for my misery when I was the one who had to go after my dreams anyways”

“We both fucked up. But it’s on the past now, and we’re still young” he tightened his grip on my hand and shook the mysterious envelope with the other “I don’t know about you, but I just came from my attorney’s office. I’m officially divorced”

“I can’t believe our lives turned out this way” I quietly laughed, playing with San’s fingers. “If you had asked my 20 year old self, I probably would have said we were having our own house full of flowers and paintings by now, and why not add a couple of wedding rings. I was delusional”

“Not really, y/n. I expected that as well” his free hand softly caressed my cheek, travelling down to my jaw. He carefully grabbed my chin, making me look at him. I felt my eyes watering again, and San raised an eyebrow, showing me his confused gaze “Is there something wrong, baby?” he whispered.

I let out my tears, because I wasn’t trying to hide them from him anymore. “I’m just happy” I replied “I used to think that seeing you again was a mistake. That living in my luxurious Seoul apartment with a man that I no longer loved was what I needed to live the decent life that I was supposed to have. And now I know that it was just me trying to supress the urge that I had to come back to you. Because despite the horrible ending, you made me be who I am today. You loved me endlessly, San. And I hope you still do” I admitted, blushing like I was that 20 year old once again “Because I know I never stopped loving you, Sanshine. Even when I hated you the most”

He replied in the most beautiful way. A sweet, awaited, and loving kiss.

Although it wasn’t, it felt like the first time. No rushing, no hurting. Just love.

The love that I was waiting to get from someone that actually never loved me like San did.

The love that San was waiting to get from someone that actually never loved him like I did.

The love that we both deserved to get after so long.

— jinmindeulle ♥

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jamielea81 · 4 years

Text

When We Were Young

Chapter 1

Description: Leaving the only home your daughter had ever known wasn’t part of the grand plan. But then again, sometimes taking chances can change your whole life. And you should know that, you’ve been doing that since the start.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Slight angst, maybe a curse word or two.

Word Count: 2,271

A/N: Super nervous about this one. As always, this is strictly for fun as I know nothing about the personal life of Chris Evans. This series takes place in 2018.

*Italics are internal thoughts*

This is it. This…is…it. Okay, deep breath. Plaster on that smile.

“We’re almost there,” you sing-songed.

“Mom…” your daughter Ellie groaned.

Turning your head to the side, your co-pilot was currently nose deep in a book.

Better than her phone.

She’s a great kid and you really couldn’t complain. At fifteen you were pulling away from your parents as were most of your friends. It had been the two of you for so long that you were closer than ever. She didn’t keep secrets from you and you didn’t keep any from her. That had been your deal for years.

“I’m hoping we beat the moving truck there. Would hate to pay them to sit around,” you said eyeing the clock on the dash.

“It’s a moving truck and you don’t exactly have a light foot,” she replied, tucking in a bookmark and setting her book on her lap.

“What are you implying Ellington?” Smirk ever-present in your voice.

“It’s just that you tend to speed mother dear. When we were on the open roads in North Carolina that was one thing, but I don’t think you’ll get away with that in Boston.”

“Just wait until you start driving. You’re going to be worse than me!” you laughed. “But your probably right.”

“Don’t forget to sign me up for classes. You promised after the move you’d enroll me.”

“I know and I will. Let’s just get the school tour and the first few days of classes settled first. One step at a time,” you replied, giving her a soft smile.

Where did the time go?

“And are you ready?” she questioned.

“Ready for what?” you asked, small frown appearing on your lips.

“You’re new job. The new house. It’s an entirely different part of the country. It’s a lot,” Ellie sighed out. “Even I know that and I’m the one that wanted this change.” She placed her hand over your right hand that held the steering wheel.

“I’m ready.” You nodded your head because you really were. “This is for you, baby. But a little part of this is for me too. Change is good,” you said shrugging your shoulders. “That’s what they say right?” You gave her a questioning look which she chuckled at.

“Absolutely, mom,” Ellie agreed.

Despite your concern, the two of you made it to the townhome before the movers. The car was unloaded and food ordered before they even pulled up.

All of your furniture had survived the move, but now that you had it in the house, the beach vibe really wasn’t matching with the old brick row home. If your savings weren’t mostly depleted, you’d consider purchasing a new living room and dining room set. Only one box of miscellaneous knickknacks was damaged beyond repair from the move up the coast. According to your daughter, it was just an excuse to go shopping.

Ellie was tucked away in her new room organizing her clothes, promising she’d actually go to sleep in the next thirty minutes. It was a big day for her and you as she would tour her new school. The school specializing in engineering was the reason you were here. While Ellie didn’t inherit the social awkwardness you experienced in junior high and most of high school, she was also incredible smart. How your beautiful daughter turned out so well rounded only being raised by you was a bit of a mystery, but you thanked your lucky stars every night.

When Ellie came to you ten months ago with a glittery pink folder filled with the school’s brochure, a list of courses she planned to take, a breakdown of tuition cost, nearby neighborhoods, and a recommendation for one of her teachers, you knew she was serious. She had been talking about Harvard since she was nine years old when her school had a special speaker that had mentioned graduating from the esteemed university. She reminded you that when she did start her college career there, because she knew she’d get in, it would be a lot easier on you if you lived locally. Sometimes she was too smart for her own good.

Reaching out to a of couple old NYU classmate who lived in Boston was the easy part. Getting your small two-bedroom bungalow solid was the tough part. The house sat on the market for two months without so much as a nibble. The two of you got to work painting every room, replacing light fixtures, baseboards, and outlets. It paid off in the end as your house was in escrow a month later.

While you liked having a detached home, it wasn’t in the budget in Boston or in any of the surrounding suburbs. Your old classmate Hillary, who was happy to reconnect really steered you toward a row home. After searching Google for months, you found a rental in the town of Belmont that was conveniently located near Ellie’s high school. And just like that, you were saying goodbye to the only town she had ever known.

Wine. You needed wine if you were going to stop worrying and get some sleep yourself. If only you could find a wine glass. Digging through the one of three boxes labeled “dishes”, you gave up your search when you came up empty after the first box.

“A coffee cup will do.”

Filling the mug three quarters of the way full, you headed back to the couch, resting your feet up on the cushions and thought about how your lives were going to change. Ellie was excited for a new city and school, but you were sure she also held onto some anxiety on the inside as she tended to do.

When you were three months pregnant, you moved to Wilmington North Carolina with your college classmate Peter who was nice enough to offer you a place to stay. You certainly couldn’t go home to Kentucky. Not when you were pregnant and single. Not that you wanted to anyway. Wilmington is where you built your life for the last sixteen years and you missed it already.

You grew up in a very structured home. Middle child to wealthy parents who weren’t shy about how much they had. They had goals for you and for the most part, you obeyed. Piano lessons, cello lessons, dance, although, that one ended shortly after you started. Private schools, tutors, math camp, really anything that would help you succeed. You did well in school because you worked hard. Not that you had a choice really. College and then back home to work for your father’s company. No doubt they had a short list of potential husbands handpicked for you by your sixteenth birthday. You’d be engaged by twenty four, married, by twenty five, first child by twenty seven. It wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to plan out the rest of your life, not have it planned out for you. Having a child on your own terms was very much a part of your plans.

Leaving work early after only two weeks at Hayward Financial was not on your calendar for the day. Two appointments with new clients had to be canceled with new ones set up for the following week. Receiving a call from Middlebury Engineering Academy that your daughter missed third and fourth period was most certainly not a call you expected to get. She loved school. Always had perfect attendance except for that one year where she got very sick with the flu and had to miss three days. Missing class was more painful to Ellie than the illness itself. Maybe you missed something. Maybe she wasn’t as happy as she seemed. She already had a small group of friends but maybe they weren’t good kids. You slammed your hands on the steering wheel.

“Where are you Ellington Rae?”

You had already called her cellphone three times and texted her twice as much but she wasn’t responding. Home was your first stop but she wasn’t there. The coffee shop was next. It was a favorite for the two of you, stopping there at least four days a week. Unfortunately, they hadn’t seen her. The pizza place, sandwich shop, frozen yogurt kiosk, library, that clothing boutique she had been begging you to take her to since her friend Carmen had mentioned it, all turned up empty. On the verge of tears, you pulled back into your driveway for the second time that day and called your best friend who not only felt a thousand miles away but actually was a thousand miles away in Wilmington. This was the hard part about moving somewhere new. You hadn’t met the neighbors, hadn’t introduced yourself to the parents of Ellie’s friends, barely knew her teachers. You had never felt more alone than you did at that moment.

“Gwen…” you said, voice barely holding on.

“What’s wrong? Shit. Give me a second, I’m going to step outside,” she said.

You got out of the car, walking up the stairs with the phone attached to your ear and your bag in your other hand. You pushed your shoulder up to hold the phone in place while you dug for the keys.

“Okay, tell me what’s going on.

“It was a mistake coming here,” you sobbed, dropping the keys on the kitchen island. “I miss Wilmington.”

“Oh babe. You love it there. You already told me you do,” she sighed.

“Not anymore. We’re coming home. I just need, um I just need to get out of my lease. We can stay with you right?”

“Always. But that’s not going to happen. Now tell me what’s bringing this panic on.”

“I can do this. Just act like you know what you’re doing,” Ellie said to herself, taking a big breath, straightening her shoulders, and walking out the door.

Leaving campus after second period was a lot easier than she thought it would be. Between the hustle and bustle of the hallway, watching the exits apparently wasn’t a thing teachers did. She walked three blocks from campus and ordered an Uber. The app was already on her phone from when her mom’s car got a flat and they decided to get lunch rather than sit around the repair shop. Her mom would be mad at her, but this was worth it and she would apologize for it later.

Her driver dropped her off in front of the booming convention center. She’d always wanted to go to one of these things, just never figured she’d be ditching school to do it. The building was massive with an impressive architectural roof. The engineer in her was beaming, but she wasn’t here for that. No, she was on a schedule. This was her one chance and she wasn’t going to blow it standing outside. Walking past the dozen or so smokers, she made her way inside the convention center, making a stop at the registration table to grab her credentials. While most attendees lined up early to be let in as soon as the doors were open, Ellie was not the average attendee.

Checking her phone for the time, she saw the dozen or so missed calls and texts. She was going to be in so much trouble when she got home and she honestly hated herself for making her mom worry. Ellie had an hour before she could line up for the one photograph she purchased months ago. Deciding to kill time in the vendor room seemed like the best option. Maybe she could buy something for you to make up for giving you wrinkles at an early age.

After browsing for some time, Ellie settled on two matching beaded bracelets in your favorite color for each of you. Maybe when you finally forgave her, you’d wear them and go to brunch like the two of you enjoyed doing back in Wilmington.

Combing her fingers through her hair for the fourth time, Ellie leaned to the side to check the length of the line once more. There were maybe twenty to twenty five people ahead of her, so she knew it would go fast. But if she had to hear how hot Chris Evans was one more time, she was going to scream. Ellie had rehearsed what she was going to say a million times in her head, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able verbalize the words. An opportunity like this wouldn’t happen again, at least not one this easily.

She was led into a room with two other girls not much older than herself. They were here together and couldn’t stop giggling. Chris said hello and both said hello in unison causing Ellie to sigh.

“How do you want to pose for the photo?” Chris asked.

“Could we both hug you?” one of the girls asked.

“Yeah, that would be okay,” Chris replied, giving them each a smile which only caused them to giggle more and Ellie to roll her eyes.

After the girls said goodbye, two more people were ushered in the room behind Ellie. The assistant urged her forward to a smiling Chris.

“Hi sweetheart. How would you like to pose for our photo?” Ellie gulped in reply. “Don’t be nervous. How about I just give you a side hug?”

Ellie nodded her head as Chris wrapped his arm around her waist. She turned her head to face him, seeing that he wasn’t looking at her, but at the camera.

“You’re my dad,” she exclaimed.

Chris whipped his head to the side to face her. “What?” he whispered.

“You’re my father.”

Chapter 2

Tag List: @tanelle83 @pinknerdpanda @allaboutthebooz @estillion14 @panicfob @patzammit @heartislubbingdubbing @collinsstanharbour @twittytelly @linki-locks11 @ab-baybay @rda1989 @impalaimages @jesseswartzwelder @rainbowkisses31 @xostephanie @smoothdogsgirl @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xxloki81xx @thenormreedus @firstangeldragonranch @soitmightgetweird @maeleeme @denisemarieangelina @rvgrsbrns @icanfeelastormbrewing @velvetwonderbucky @kitkat1690 @smilexcaptainx @suppu97 @dangerouslovefanfic @dwights-new-plague @kelbabyblue @sweetlittlegingy @chrisevansforever @evansxxx @twittytelly @southerngracela @bitterstar88 @squirrelnotsam @kitkatd7 @lakamaa12 @dontbetooobvious @straightforwardly @mariswritingforfun @imaginesofdreams @anat2507 @captnstarryeyed @chrisevansfanfic @capstopavenger

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x single mother reader #chris evans x you #chris evans reader insert #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fanfic #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction

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writingsbymarie · 5 years

Text

And So My Heart Became a Void

No spoilers don’t worry :)

Word Count: 1,754

Warnings: Angst, kissing, fluff

A/N: Was feeling inspired lol. I didn't read it through yet so sorry if there are mistakes! Also while writing this I listened to and so my heart became a void by Annaca and Ursine Vulpine if ya wanna listen to it while you read :)

After becoming undusted you were right where you were before. Just five years later of course. You were sitting next to MJ both of you looking at each other, and quickly embracing each other wondering what the hell had just happened. Both of you were terrified and confused. Thoughts in your mind were racing trying to assess the situation until one person crossed your mind. Peter Parker. Your best friend who went into a giant donut to space. The person you were completely utterly in love with. You felt your heart flutter at the thought of his but you felt sick at not knowing whether or not he was alive or okay. You were the one who found out he was spiderman first. You were the one who stitched up his wound. The one who loved him unconditionally. You felt tears sting your eyes as you thought about all the bad things that could have happened to him. You tried calling him but you failed to get a response. You were holding onto the last memory with him for dear life. The bus before he left for space. You were seated right next to him talking about how calm life had been ironically when all of the sudden the hairs on his arm stuck straight up

“Peter what the hell is that” you exclaimed as you looked into the sky to see a giant space ship heading towards the ground.

“I have to go now” he jumped from his seat “cause a distraction for me,” he asked urgently. You stood there trying to process what was happening. Peter was ready to jump out of the bust but you grabbed his arm.

“Wait, just please be careful Peter” you pleaded eyes filled with fear. This was much more than just a robber this was aliens for outer space.

“I'll be fine” he breathed as you hand let go of his wrist. Ned had successfully distracted all the students by the sudden death heading our way. You watched as Peter swung towards the danger. The pit in your stomach growing more and more as he went out of your view. Fear wasn't the biggest emotion you felt. Regret was the feeling that washed over your body. You had such a bad feeling about this, and deep down you knew you should have told him how you felt because part of you felt like now you may never get the chance.

You walked home watched families, and friends get reunited. It was beautiful, but deep down you felt pain. A fear that you may not get that with the one person you need it with. You reached the apartment where you had first met Peter. Where you were neighbors.

You remember meeting him so clearly. You were six years old, and your mother took you over to May Parker's house to meet him, and so her and May could talk about the situation. You were pretty close to May because she babysat for you all the time.

As you walked into the house you felt a wave of sadness and as you turned the corner you saw a young boy your age looking at the ground. He was sitting on the couch sitting next to May who was rubbing his back. Your mom pushed you towards the boy telling you to go play with him. She said he was really sad and needed a friend. You looked down shyly, slowly proceeding towards the boy who was now looking up at you.

“I’m Y/N, do you want to play tag,” you asked lightening the mood noticing that he was sad.

“I’m Peter, and yeah” he responded with a light smile. You held out your hand to lead him towards the hallway where you played a couple of rounds of tag until your mom yelled at you for being too loud. After that, you walked into his room that only contained a bed and a lamp. He walked to his bed sitting down. He looked down and began to cry. You sat next to him grabbing his hand. His glossy eyes looked up and you and you gave him a soft smile. That's when he gave you a big unexpected hug telling you that he missed his mommy and daddy. You pulled away from the hug grabbing your DS out of your bag you brought over handing him the controlling jestering him to play. The tears stopped as he got invested in the game of Mario kart he was playing. Tears turned into laughs. You played in his room with him for hours that day, and from that day on you and Peter were best friends.

You and MJ walked out of the school together staying close to each other. You said your goodbyes and made your way to your apartment.

You looked at the right to see a family. A mother and father getting reunited with their daughter. You smiled a bit, but that brought up another painful moment. One that Peter was there for, and he was the person who helped you through it.

Your Parents had been killed in a car accident right around after Peter had defeated the Falcon. You were with him when you got the call from your sister telling you to get to the hospital as soon as you could. You remember dropping the phone. Feeling your legs shake, as the gave out and you fell to the ground tears flooding your eyes. Peter had just walked out of the bathroom running towards you.

“What happened” he questioned cupping you cheek, lifting your head to look at him.

“My dad, he- hes dead, and my moms in critical condition” you wept. Your chest constricted s you tried to breathe. You fell into Peters arms sobbing. You nuzzled into his sweatshirt as he held you close to his body. The warmth of his body filled yours as he rubbed you back whispering that everything was going to be okay. Peter knew exactly what you were going through.

You made your way up the stairs of your apartment praying that when you knock at that door your sister will be on the other end. She was five years older than you, and after your parents died she came home and has been raising you ever since. She was all the family you had left. You raised your hand to slowly knocking on the door. You heard a lock click and the door flies open to see your sister. Much older. Meaning she did not disappear like you. This meant for the past 5 years she was alone. Her whole family gone. Your sister's eyes widened at the sight of face tears beginning to form as she rushed to pull you into a hug as she sobbed into your shoulder. You embraced her back crying as well, but more for pity of your sister. For you, it was like you hadn't seen your sister in a day, but for her, it was 5 years. She pulled away from the hug cupping you cheeks looking at you as tears streamed down her face.

“I missed you so much” she wept pulling you in for another hug.

“I missed you too” you whispered. Hugging her tightly. You walked into your apartment which was much different, but when you reached your room it was completely unchanged. Your sister must have frequently cleaned it though. As you ate dinner your sister explained the past five years to you. Explaining the utter chaos, and sadness the world face. You were honestly glad you disappeared. You pitied everyone who was left to suffer.

After dinner, you laid in your bed looking at the ceiling with a blank stare. Your heart breaking more and more as the hours passed. You couldn't sleep. You were restless. You had gotten one hour of sleep but woke up at 2 am. You sat on the seat right next to your window watching the sky your mind drifting through all your memories with Peter. The feeling of regret becoming overwhelming. You began to cry silently. Warm tears streaming down your face as you looked over to the framed picture of you and Peter at Disneyland a year ago. You held the frame to your chest as you chest heaved. You sat there for what felt for hours until you heard a knock on the door at about 4 am. You heard footsteps go to the front door. You shot up from your seat running out of your bedroom. You turned the corner to see your sister talking to the one and only Peter Parker. You lost it. Your feet betraying your mind as the ran towards the door running to Peter and jumping into your arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck nuzzling your head into his body sobbing. He wrapped his arms around your waist crying as well into your sweatshirt. Your sister had walked away giving you space to be with your best friend.

“I was so scared, Peter. I thought you were dead” you cried into his arms. His warmth making you feel at home.

“I’m okay, I was careful just like you told me to be” He whimpered. Pulling from the hug to look at you. You were a mess. Your hair in a messy bun. Eyes red and puffy. Even at your worst, Peter looked at you like you were a goddess. You looked into his golden brown eyes. He put his hand on your cheek and you melted into his touch taking a deep breath. You needed to tell him, but you didn't know how. No words could explain how you felt except I love you, but you could choke out the words. You looked at each other with such love. You had both been slowly leaning into each other and your foreheads were touching and you were inches from his lips. Your heartbeat raced as you connected your lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and full of love. His hands rested on your hips and your hands were placed on his cheeks. You parted from the kiss. “

“I love you” he whispered into your ear his breath tickling your neck. You felt goosebumps arise on your skin. Your heart swelling. He loved you back.

“I love you too” you revealed “I've loved you for so long” you breathed a sigh of relief. The regret washing from your body. Peter kissed you again this time more intense. More desperate. He pulled you so close to his body. Your arms wrapped around his neck somehow pulling him closer. You pulled away to breathe. You panted pulling him into another hug. You loved Peter Parker and he loved you back.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker angst #spiderman #spiderman edit #spiderman imagine #Spiderman drabble #spiderman far from home #Spider-Man: Homecoming #spider-man far from home #far from home #far from home imagine #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #peter parker x you #like

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loserholland · 5 years

Text

𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟

Pairing ➺ Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warning ➺ angst, fluff at the end though.

Word Count ➺ 1,855

Summary ➺ If only she could turn back time to the night they had a silly fight, if only she could say goodbye and how much she loved him.

A/N ➺ My request are open! They will be open till July 14 <3

Request ➺ hi can you do a Peter Parker x Stark! Reader where they fight and almost break up because she and Tony had a fight and never got to make up before he died and she’s pushing everyone away because of it? thanks!- anonbabe <3

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand, @taronxfiction, @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine, @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou @babebenhardy@rivervixenbaby @acklesholland @zabdisamor@keepingupwiththehollands@sweet666pea @sspider-parker@jackiehollanderr @iloveyou3000morgan @random-things-i-love @caro0512

☞ Masterlist ☜

The news swept the nation by storm, Tony Stark is dead.

The moment Pepper had returned home she hoped her dad was right beside her, that he would tell (Y/N) and Morgan “I did it.” if only that happened. Instead Pepper returned home with a broken smile and tear stained cheeks.

(Y/N) could see it in her eyes, she had just lost her dad. She had just lost her hero, the person who was there to make things better. She ran up to her room, sadness, anger and guilt ran through her veins she couldn’t hold it together. Could you blame her though? She had just lost her dad.

Pepper ran up to (Y/N) room opening her door to see she was sobbing uncontrollably, though (Y/N) wasn’t her daughter she still loved her like her own rushing over to her side to cradle her.

Someone once said, “It’s not the memories inside my head that drives me crazy. It’s the new memories without you that push me over the edge.”

Tony wouldn’t see (Y/N) off to prom, or when she graduated high school and was now moving onto college. It was those memories, those milestones she didn’t want to make. She didn’t want those memories to be filled without her dad.

Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back... it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited.” Tony’s hologram spoke, everyone was gathered in the living room sitting and standing in silence.

She was there the night he had figured out what Scott had told him could most likely work, she was there that night he would risk anything to get everyone back. When Tony had told (Y/N) he had lost Peter, it hurt him to see her so sad.

In those five years, the Stark’s welcomed Morgan though she was (Y/N) half sister she loved her nonetheless and would protect her at all cost. Morgan was the one to help (Y/N) find her happiness again. I guess the roll of being big sister came with tea parties and dress up. They’d make forts and binge on disney movies, every so often they’d sneak into the garage to see what their dad had brewing.

“I hope we get it back, in somewhat like a normal version of the planet has been restored, if there ever was such a thing.“

In which they did, thanks to Bruce. Though his arm is permanently damaged, he helped return those who we thought we lost. Those who disappeared into dust five years ago are now back and returned safely to their families.

“God, what a world. Universe now. If you told me 10 years ago that we weren't alone, let alone you know to this extent... I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know. That epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or worse, that's the reality Morgan's going to find a way to grow up in. So I found a private area to record a little greeting in case of an untimely death on my part. Not that death at any time is ever timely.”

(Y/N) closed her eyes lightly remembering her last words to her father, god if she could turn back time to apologize to him before he left. The night before the in Scott’s words, ‘time heist.” (Y/N) and Tony had a big fight, she had just gotten home from being out almost all night and not answering any of their calls.

She needed time to herself, weighing out the odds of will her dad make it out alive or not.

“This time travel thing that we are going to pull off tomorrow... it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of all this. But then again that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I tripping for? Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to.”

The words replayed over and over again, the more guilt she had felt. “I hate you! You’re gonna leave me just like mom did!”

“I love you 3000.” she watched as Tony’s hologram disappeared, she tried to push back the memory of their last moment together. She hated herself for not even trying to wish him good luck the next day.

(Y/N) got up from her seat excusing herself before heading upstairs to her room. She heard murmurs of “Are you okay?” “What’s wrong?” instead she ignored them not wanting to talk to anyone.

The moment she got into her room she fell to her knee’s letting out a loud sob, she couldn’t hold it in anymore all her emotion’s came crashing down all at once.

Peter rushed up the stairs and into her room kneeling down to take her into his arms, “Baby, hey I’m here just breathe.” she clenched onto his arm crying into her boyfriend’s chest as her world came crumbling down.

“Pete, I-I messed up. I messed up so bad.” (Y/N) sobbed as Peter’s heart clenched, he hated to see her this way.

“I know you miss him, I miss him too.” Peter tried to reassure her, as (Y/N) pulled away from his chest she shook her head lightly keeping her gaze on her floorboards.

“You got to see him, you were there in his last moments Peter. You got to have your last words with him, he wasn’t even your father and you got to have your last word’s with him.”

Peter brows pinched in confusion, (Y/N) never spoke to him this way. Maybe it was just because she was grieving, she knew he lost his parent’s at a young age along with his uncle Ben. She knew that Tony was a father figure in Peter’s life.

“(Y/N), I know you don’t mean that.” he tried to reason reaching forward to intwine his hand with her’s.

“But I do mean it Peter! I hate that you got to see him! He wasn’t even your father!”

“I know he wasn’t my father (Y/N)! But do you know how painful it was to see him take his last few breaths? The amount of pain that you’re feeling, we’re all feeling!” Peter got up from where he was sitting and headed for the door.

“You’re being really selfish right now (Y/N). I think we should take some time away from one another.”

He was right, god he was right. She was only thinking of her feelings, she didn’t take anyone else’s feelings into consideration. But when he said they should take some time away from one another, it broke her heart even more.

It’s been two weeks since the funeral, two weeks since she last saw Peter. She had spent most of her time in her room with the blinds shut leaving her in the dark.

(Y/N) sighed getting up to see if Pepper was in her office, she needed someone to talk to, to get off whatever was weighing on her shoulder’s. She stood outside the door unsure if she should enter or not, she paced back and forth lifting her clenched hand to knock yet she didn’t.

“(Y/N), I know you’re out there come in.” Pepper announced pulling her attention away from the computer screen watching as (Y/N) entered sheepishly. She could tell (Y/N) had been crying for hours on end.

“How are you feeling?” Pepper questioned, she heard the fight her and Peter had. The two haven’t spoken to each other in two weeks, she wasn’t okay.

“Not the greatest. I-I just wanted to apologize for my behavior, I didn’t exactly have my final goodbye with dad. I said the most awful words, and now that’s all he’ll remember me by. I just want to turn back time to that night, to apologize and to have a proper goodbye-” her voice cracked lightly looking up at Pepper with teary eyes.

“I told Peter that Tony wasn’t even his father, how he got to see dad before he took his final rest. I hurt him because I was feeling selfish now I feel like we’re gonna break up.” Pepper stood from her sit and walked over to hug (Y/N), god she’s been through so much in the past five years.

Pepper pulled out a letter that was addressed to (Y/N), something Tony had wrote the night after their huge fight. He instructed Pepper to give it to her when the time was right. Safe to say the time was right now.

Dear (Y/N),

My dear sweet (Y/N). You may be reading this right now and might have already seen my message, I am now dead. I know the past five years have been hectic and full of unanswered questions. I know I may not be here with you anymore, but with your smarts (which you got from me) you can continue my legacy. You could be the next Iron woman, yeah it had a nice ring to it. (If you hadn’t caught on by now, I made you a suit and it’s embedded into the ring). I remember holding you in my arms the day you were born, I knew I’d protect you at all cost. When Thanos happened, I thought I lost you and Pepper. I wouldn’t know how to survive if that happened. I forgive you for what you said, I understand where you were coming from. Don’t blame yourself okay? Don’t ever blame yourself, trust me I know how it feels. What you and underoos have, though I never approved at first, is special. Hold onto that kid, I know you two will make the world proud as you continue my legacy. I love you so much, remember that.

(Y/N) knocked on Peter’s bedroom window, watching as he blinked a few times to see she had a suit that was just like her dad’s. She pressed the ring on her finger causing the suit to dissolve. Peter quickly opened up the window allowing (Y/N) in.

She wrapped her arms around his neck standing on her toes as she rest her head in the crook of his neck, “I-I’m so sorry Peter, I’m sorry for being selfish and not taking anyone else’s feeling into consideration. It was wrong of me to say he wasn’t your father. I-I just came here to make thing’s right, though I understand if you want to break up with me.”

Peter shushed her lightly breaking away from their hug to place his hands on her cheek, brushing away the freshly fallen tears, “I’m not breaking up with you, I could never do that. I love you too much to break up with you. Before Tony took his final rest, he told me to take care of you, to not break you heart. Or else he’d haunt me beyond the grave-- with that being said. I love you, and I forgive you.”

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings in heaven. Where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down to let us know their happy.

#peter parker #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #loserholland

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sesskag1postchallenge · 5 years

Text

Ch9 - Operation Grandpup Drop (A SitBoy Discord Crack Fic)

Warning this story is M bordering NSFW

Chapter 9:

Slayer08/18/2019

"GAH!" Kagome tore herself away from Sesshomaru. "I can't believe this! I am leaving. Get sober Sesshomaru and see if you still feel that way!" She snatched up the incense and dunked it in a nearby glass of water and stomped out of the room and slammed the door.

imjaneees08/18/2019

Before Sesshomaru could pull Naraku's entrails out of him and decorate the halls with them, the door opened and Kagome walked in again, separating the two.

"Stop it Sesshomaru you can't kill my cry pillow I still need him," with that she started dragging the dark hayou by the hair again, all the while complaining, "I'm still not done with my much needed cry session. The girls just don't get it, you know? They keep saying endure this, you'll find a better person soon, all that sham and I just want someone to let me feel bitter. By the way your shoulder devil antics aren't working, just so you know."

Once again Sesshomaru is left wondering just how blue must his balls be before Kagome finally gets it.

Walter20508/18/2019

"Kagome, do you know who you're holding onto? Let him go and I'll be your cry pillow," came a familiar voice that Kagome hadn't heard in over a year. Turning in surprise, she saw Shippo standing in the doorway, now almost as tall as her and sporting five tails now.

"Shippo, you've returned from the demon fox academy!" exclaimed Kagome as she dropped Naraku and ran over to embrace her son.

"C'mon mom, let's blow this joint," said Shippou as he took Kagome's hand and headed for the door outside.

"Unfortunately Kit, Kagome may not leave the Castle just yet. She is still a potential suitor after all," interrupted Inukimi as she strode in to greet the new guest.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that," replied Shippo as he readied a leaf spell. In reply Inukimi clutched her Inter-Dimensional Necklace and started a chant that would banish Shippo into a different realm for the duration of Kagome's stay at the Castle.

However Shippo was ready for this and yelled, "Fox Magic: Fox Counter-spell!", as he threw the leaf at the necklace. It struck and there was a loud flash and bright explosion as their magics intertwined with one another. When the light faded, Inukimi's Necklace fell to the floor before shattering into a million pieces that swiftly disintegrated.

"Little Fox, do you know what you've done?" asked Inukimi in a quiet cold voice.

"Yeah, I've stopped your attempt to keep my mother trapped here," responded Shippo in kind with a triumphant grin spreading across his face.

"You young little fool. You've trapped Kagome's friends and my husband in a place and time that they do not belong and have removed all of my spells warding the castle, including protecting the Shikon No Tama from that devil hanyou. Lastly, you have incurred my wrath," growled Inukimi as her eyes glowed red with the beginning of her transformation.

imjaneees08/18/2019

Everything happened all at once. No one had the time to react. Nothing went according to anyone's plan. The jewel once again pulled the rug from under everyone's feet, because there, whole and pure the jewel floated for a good few seconds before it darted off to go back inside where it belonged. Kagome had no time to even move before the jewel came shooting to her side, where it was taken from by Mistress Centipede all those years ago.

There was a bright, blinding light before it faded, along with Kagome's consciousness.

Stormie Like Weather08/19/2019

Suddenly the ghost of her favorite singer, Prince, was standing before her in a raspberry beret and a mostly unbuttoned sparkly shirt. "Welcome, Girl!"

Kagome thought she might swoon in her unconscious state, but that might be getting a bit pathetic. "P-prince? W-what are you doing here?!"

"I'm here for you, Girl!" He walked around her in the cloud-like room, "The Kami have decided to allow me to let you choose a future for yourself. Think of it as a new beginning, the Jewel of Four Souls will not be allowed to leave your body once more, in return for the sacrifice of responsibility, you get to choose which side of the well you'd like to remain in.

"W-what...?" Her hand clutched the spot where the jewel had just collided, "I get to choose?"

"And not without some insight!" Suddenly before them appeared a giant cauldron of water, Prince waved his hand for her to peer into it's depths. "Should you choose the future..." An image of her appeared at university, the image faded into a pregnant version of her in the arms of what looked like Sesshomaru in a suite with a man bun. "Remain where you are..." The picture changed to Kagome playing with Inuyasha's wriggly worm-dog baby. Sesshomaru was nearby rolling his eyes, pointing to his junk and the words, "We could have much more like-able offspring if you'd just fuck me!" He looked pretty ragged. She must have been waffling still. The worm-pup made a giggling sound and the image faded to Kagome in the middle of a wedding ceremony with InuKimi crying. She couldn't tell if it was out of happiness or misery.... "Or, Prince waved his delicate hand." The image shifted into her standing there in Prince's arms as well as men and women crawling at their feet, touching themselves.

"Oh my!" She flushed.

"Well," Prince wriggled his brows while running his fingers along his chest and downward, "What'll it be?"

imjaneees08/20/2019

Left eye twitching, Kagome finally snapped. She hasn't had one decent sleep since this whole debacle with grandpups happened, had her emotions played with, finally got the good crying she's always wanted ironically in the literal arms of the enemy only to get played again, the jewel went and screwed her over again, and now this Western bozo was trying to make her queen of all things sexual. Well she's had enough! No one is taking her v card without passing all of her criteria!

“I've had enough of you sex crazed baboons!“ and, brandishing the somehow nearby branch, she roceeded to thwack anything and everyone.

Stormie Like Weather08/20/2019

Prince put his his hands up, immediately morphing into an image on her mother, "Kagome, dear, calm down." She put her hands on her hips, "You know the Kami are just trying to make you comfortable, so be grateful. Now choose do you wish to be returned to the present or remain in the past, or if you refuse to make a decision the Kami will be forced to choose for you - like last time." Kagome swallowed hard, she didn't like not getting a choice last time...

Walter20508/20/2019

Before she could make her reply known her mother was suddenly ripped away from her, leaving her with an aching pain in her left side. Blinking awake, she looked around and discovered that the others had not been idle in the wake of her falling unconscious. Naraku had apparently gone on a rampage and abducted nearly every eligible human female and demoness plus a few taken ones.

From what she could see within his swirling cloud of miasma, Kagome was able to spot Inuemi, Sango, Eri, Yuka, Ayumi, and Ayame all trapped within his tentacles and those were just the ones she could spot. She also discovered that she was in a tentacle as well, as another zipped away from her with the jewel inside its mouth, leaving a small bleeding hole in her side that this time, wasn't being so quick to heal up.

As the blood stain spread amongst her towel, Kagome felt herself growing dizzy. But she heard howling in the distance and looking down, could see in the distance both Sesshomaru and Toga in hot pursuit in their true forms, the Band of 13 (minus Inuyasha, who must've still been recovering from labor) along with a few others riding on their backs.

Elsewhere Inukimi had caught the kit and knocked him out with her poison. She was going to spend some time with him in the dungeons at his expense for her entertainment but who knew? Perhaps she would settle for getting her pups out of him one day once he reached proper mating age, if he was still alive by that point in time.

imjaneees08/21/2019

Completely done with life as it was for the moment, Kagome, forgoing the pain on her side that wasn't as bad as the bleeding suggested, dragged herself on the tentacle holding her until she managed to reach Naraku.

"Okay trash boy, what sob story do you have this time around that made you want that jewel? Let's hear it," he did listen to her that one time, and never let it be said that Kagome wasn't a fair woman. Quid pro quo and all that jazz.

Walter20508/21/2019

"Sob story, you say? Hmm, perhaps you would like to help me out with this one my dear Miko. You see, while you and the others were cavorting around the sky castle I had finished assembling the jewel, steeped it in darkness, and made my two wishes on it, first being the old wish from Onigumo to have Kikyo and the second for me, Naraku, to become a full demon. And would you like to know what happened?" asked Naraku in a sarcastic tone.

"The Jewel didn't grant you your true wish. It never does, despite the power it offers, all it does is use people to get what it wants without giving them what they truly want so it can keep on existing," replied Kagome with a mixture of sad regret and pity.

"Exactly right as I've come to learn. Although I appreciate the tremendous amount of power it has given me, in doing so it has used me for its own devices and no one uses this Naraku, no matter who or what they might be. Now do me favor and reach out to touch the Jewel while praying," asked Naraku as his tentacle extended the Jewel to her.

Not sure what was going on, Kagome at least knew purifying the Jewel would be better than leaving it tainted so as she started praying her power came to the surface and upon fingertip contact purified the Jewel completely. Naraku brought to a point where it was between the two of them.

"In confiding its plans with me, the evil spirit within the Jewel, the entity known as Magatsuhi, told me how the 'heroes' would be able to destroy the Jewel, through the use of the one true wish. Hmph, bet he never thought that a villain such as this Naraku would be the one to utter it. I will be making my wish now, Shikon No Tama," said Naraku, causing the Jewel to began buffeting the both of them with power as fear overcame the evil entity within.

"Cease to Exist, Forever," both Naraku and Kagome said in unison, as she pleasantly surprised Naraku. The Jewel shattered into a thousand fragments that dissipated on the wind.

imjaneeesLast Thursday at 8:41 AM

It was over. Just like that. And with the most unlikely person to end it with too, Kagome though her life was full of ironies. She always thought she and her friends would have to pry the jewel from Naraku's pile of ashes but it seems like life has other plans. It was so easy too. She never thought it would end so easily.

"That was...far different from what I envisioned it to be. I can't really complain though," Kagome muttered. Then out loud for any and all to hear, "Okay, someone catch me because I just know I'm going to pass out again and this time, please don't wake me for at least another 8 hours." and she did just that

Walter205Last Saturday at 10:19 AM

Naraku smirked at Kagome's declaration, knowing that he already had her entangled in his tentacles. When the jewel had died it was like a fog had been lifted from his mind, having clouded his thoughts ever since he had come to be. He was absolutely still an evil minded little bastard but now Naraku felt like he was free to do as he pleased instead of just scheming to either get the jewel or torture his opposition to taint the jewel.

He had such plans for the little miko now...but even as she lost consciousness, she was surrounded in a blue glow. As Naraku watched in dismay, she disappeared, leaving his tentacle hanging empty. He took stock of his situation as he glanced around at his other captives. With the jewel gone he no longer felt the need to torture his enemies so he let Inuemi and Sango go, letting his pursuers stop to catch them while he held on to Kagome's three friends, who remained in his grasp.

Meanwhile, Kagome floated through a blue void as a trio of other worldly beings discussed her fate while she slept.

"What about her three friends? They are out of time's normal flow as well," asked one being.

"Leave them in the past. It was an abuse of her authority to take them into the past. As punishment she shall know only of their fates a few hundred years ago," said the second being.

"A harsh punishment to be sure, but harsh is needed when it comes to the treatment of the normal flow of time. Come, let us return her to the present and close down the portal until the next suitable crisis arises," said the third before the three of the them disappeared.

Moments later Miss Higurashi watched as a blue light burst forth from the well house and into the main house before flaring and dying in Kagome's bedroom as she was deposited still sleeping into her bed.

Stormie Like WeatherLast Saturday at 10:17 PM

Across town in the Port of Tokyo an ancient dog awoke the instant the magical power receded from the well. He ran trimmed claws through his short hair and pulled the frustration from his face. It was time to make the acquaintance of someone he had not seen in many a century.

Returning to the harbor, he moved his vessel into its place at the marina and dropped anchor.

Walter205Last Sunday at 11:55 AM

Sesshomaru returned the salute of Captain Takahashi as he walked down the gangplank upon leaving the deck of his flagship, the Guided Missile Destroyer (DDG) Kongo of the Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force's (JMSDF) First Fleet.

"I take it the maneuvers were a success, Admiral Taisho?" asked Kouga, disguised as he was as Captain Takahashi of the Guided Missile Frigate (FFG) Abukuma, one of Sesshomaru's most trusted subordinates.

"Yes, I believe we'll be in great shape when it comes time to conduct the RIMPAC exercises with our American counterparts. I look forward to upstaging Admiral Greenland once again," Sesshomaru answered under the human guise of Admiral Takagi Taisho.

As he left the Captain on the dock behind him, his aide attaché came running up to join him, briefing the Admiral on his current schedule. Another disguised demon, Lieutenant Takeda (Shippou) informed him of his schedule for the next three days, mostly meetings with various ship commanders and high command concerning the upcoming exercises.

"Are there any important meetings for me this evening?" asked Sesshomaru, but when Shippou nodded no, he asked the Fox to clear his schedule.

"I have an important meeting to attend in the old Edo section of Tokyo, an old acquaintance, non-service related. No need to attend or send guards, I'll just need a chauffeur, someone who knows the area...Ensign Hojo should do the trick nicely," ordered Sesshomaru. The young man had always been curious as to what happened to Kagome and her three friends ever since they had "disappeared" three years ago. Sesshomaru himself was curious as to the discrepancy in time as it had only been one day in the past since her three friends had initially arrived to the point that Kagome disappeared herself.

imjaneeesLast Sunday at 11:28 PM

Meanwhile, back in the Higurashi household, Kagome slept like a hybernating bear. It didn't help that somehow, sometimes in her deep sleep, her hands managed to reach out and grab something fluffy and long. Now it was twined around her, keeping her neck, arms and legs warm against the bitter cold. Humming in contentment, she buried her face against the fluffy thing. It was so warm and fluffy. It reminded her of Sesshomaru's mokomoko actually. On that note, it kind of smelled like it too. On that note, what was mokomoko anyway? Sesshomaru didn't seem to be the type to make fashion statements. Then again she's been wrong about him before.

Walter205Yesterday at 8:37 AM

In order to enter the service Sesshomaru had to get rid of mokomoko, but it didn’t want to leave its master’s side, so it had thrown a tantrum which had led to Sesshomaru casting it out onto the streets. For a couple of decades now hobomoko had been wandering aimlessly through the streets, but it held memory of its former master’s desires, so when the miko arrived back in this time, it knew sweet revenge was at hand. Even now the foolish girl embraced it closer as it prepared to sever her head with the Butchers Cleaver it held over her neck...

imjaneeesYesterday at 9:25 AM

Completely unaware of the danger she was in, as per usual, Kagome continued to snuggle her face against the soft fur. Dreaming of soft, innocent and cute puppies and kittens, she nuzzled and kiss the unstable fluff, "Who's a good puppy? You are! Oh yes you are! I'm keeping all of you now."

Perhaps, oh just perhaps, revenge can come in a different, more personal angle...

#crackfic #sesskag #sesshomaru #kagome #OnePostChallegeSitBoy

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shadowtsukiyo · 7 years

Text

Gajevy Week: Prompt: Grief Tear Me Down to Build Me Up

Gajevy

Rated: M-ish

One-Shot

Tear Me Down to Build Me Up

Inspired by: “Come and Get It” by Krewella

Post Tartarus

“I’ve been thinking…”

“How come I have a feelin' it ain’t about anything good…”

“I'm thinking of… when you were in Phantom Lord.”

The silence was thick and uncomfortable.

“I don't wanna be thinkin' 'bout that, Lev… I hurt ya…”

“I know… but I realized it taught me a lesson. An important one.”

“You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit…”

Levy read that line over and over. Despite how many times she tried to move her eyes away from it, she always ended up rereading the quote placed under the chapter title.

It described Fairy Tail.

It described her.

A soft sigh left her lips as it got her thinking.

Her family. Her friends. Her home. Her powers. Her present. Her future.

Her past…

Or more specifically her past with Gajeel. The events that shaped her currently.

It made her think of a lot of things about herself.

“Hey Levy!” Jet's voice pulled her from her thoughts as he and Droy slid across from her.

“What's got you so deep in thought?” Droy asked, offering her some of the cookies she had.

Absently she took a cookie and brought it to her lips, but rather than taking a bit her eyes glossed over in thought again.

“Earth to Levy!” Jet laughed, even after a year apart she was still the same, she blinked and gave them a confused look as she took a bite of the cookie. Giving an appreciative nod at the taste to Droy who grinned. “What are you so lost in thought about?”

“A lot of things really.” She hummed taking another bite. “Droy, this cookie is amazing.” Her fingers were in front of her mouth as she spoke, this earned a grin from the plant mage.

“No way, Lev. Cough it up.” Jet stayed firm as he watched the blunette swallow her bite.

“… My parents… Master Makarov… Phantom Lord… How I've changed.”

“Hold on, I must have heard you wrong. I thought you said Phantom Lord for a second.” Jet laughed awkwardly, trying to brush off her comment.

“I did.” Suddenly both men were silent.

“Why?” Jet's voice came out sharper than he intended.

“This quote reminded me of my dad… something he used to say when I was little… and something Master once said was very much like my dad's advice…”

“Daddy, I can't get it!” The tiny blunette, maybe five was huffing with a scowl. “How can I be an amazing mage like you if this keeps hap…happening!”

Her father was teaching her Solid Script magic, the basics at least. She was learning to do very simple nature scripts like “Air,” “Water,” “Stone,” “Fire,” and a defense script, “Hole" they were her first lessons.

Except Fire kept blowing up in her face. Her mother had just finished cutting the poor girl’s hair after she charred the ends.

“Once more, Levania. I know you can do it.”

This earned him puffed out cheeks and pout, but she did as she was told.

“Solid Scipt: F-I-R-E—eek!” She was once again thrown back, her small body against the ground as she sniffled. Soon she was loudly crying.

“Come now, none of that my blue bird.” Her father said, pulling her to her feet before he took a cloth to clean off her face.

“I can’t do it!”

“Yes, you can.” He held her firm. “What defines us is how we rise after we fall, Levania. Rise. Each and every time you fall, get back up. Understood?”

Levy looked at her dad with watery eyes. “I... I think so…”

It took a month, but she finally got the spell down while she was at Fairy Tail.

Her parents had died during an illegal Guild War… leaving Levy orphaned and sent to Fairy Tail three weeks prior to her getting the spell down.

Levy had just joined the guild. She was quiet.

It was very odd to Cana, and caused Gray to be extremely protective of her.

It caused Laxus to baby her.

She didn’t utter a word as she sat at a table, holding onto a large book of Fairy Tales that she received from her mother. Inside the cover had been her father’s encouraging words to her during that lesson had been written down… she couldn't even bare to look at it.

Last time she looked at it, she burst into tears, causing Gray and the adults to panic. She never spoke and suddenly she was crying.

“It is okay to cry.” Makarov's voice was soft as he stood behind Levy. “It is also okay to read that message.” His hand was on Levy's shoulder.

She physically wavered.

“Did you know I never met my mother? She died when I was born.” Makarov's words were gentle.

“My father didn’t tell me until I was thirteen… and it was crippling…er… I felt much like you do now.” He corrected himself at a confused look from the girl.

He had her attention. Good.

“He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. 'Makarov, stop! Your mom wouldn’t want this! She never wanted you to be sad like this! Don't let it break you! No matter how hard it gets, life goes on!'"

He looked down at the girl, “I'm going to tell you the same thing. Don't let it break you, Levania. No matter how hard it gets, life goes in. It will always go on… don't fall behind.”

A loud sniffle made him weakly smile as soon Levy dropped the book and was loudly sobbing into his embrace. “I miss them!”

Everyone in the guild turned to the two.

“I know… I know you do. And that's okay. It's okay to miss them, but I promise you they’re watching over you and Fairy Tail is your family.”

Honey eyes peeked up, red from crying. “Really?”

“Yes, my dear… now go on… you have some people who’ve been very worried.”

He motioned to Gray and Cana.

Shyly, Levy went over to them, rubbing at her eyes to get the redness and puffiness to calm down, her tears having thankfully dried up mostly. “I… I'm…”

“It’s okay! We’re just glad you're okay! I'm Cana, this is Gray.”

“I'm… I'm Levy.”

Makarov smile as suddenly Cana pulled the younger girl into a tight embrace, soon both girls were laughing as Gray lost his clothing once more.

His eyes turned to the book and he grabbed a note card from the bar, writing what he told her before he slipped it into the book and put it by the three children.

It was the next day that Levy came up to him with a pen, “Please… right here… next to Daddy's…” She pointed at the open area on the inside of the cover.

That book was tucked away in her personal library in the home she shared with Lily and Gajeel.

She knew she was getting odd looks from the two men.

“I'm not angry at him, and you both know I forgave him a long time ago… it just made me realize something…”

“Levy… look, we love you. You're our best friend… but we never… never. Want to relive that day.” Jet's voice deepened. Droy glared at his friend for speaking to Levy like that.

Levy just tilted her head, “Then don't. You both are my friends. But you asked what I was thinking about, then asked me to clarify. If you didn’t want to know the answer, you shouldn’t have asked me why I was thinking of Phantom Lord.”

Levy had grown up, she wasn’t afraid to look anyone in the face and in her own way, tell them off.

She was done mourning her past. Her grief for the girl that she used to be… it was long gone.

It seemed Jet still needed time, and that was okay.

The ginger scowled before storming off. “I'm glad you made progress Levy…” Droy smiled. He had finally moved past the incident while they were all separated. “I… I think you should explain your revelation to Gajeel… he might need this understanding the most.”

Droy was so level-headed since she came back from Tenrou. The blunette happily got up and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Droy… I will.”

Levy left the Guild to go find Gajeel. Usually he’d be training about this time.

She and Gajeel had been a couple for only a few weeks, the two of them were taking it very slow. Neither Gajeel nor herself had ever wanted a relationship this bad and at times it left them both fearful to make a move.

When she got to the clearing, she smiled. Gajeel and Lily were sparring, the Dragon Slayer was dripping with sweat as the two males focused on hand to hand combat, but judging by Lily’s sword carefully tucked away, they had practiced with magic and weapons as well.

“Oi, Lil’ time to take a break.” Gajeel called to the battle form Exceed when he noticed his girlfriend.

Lily just smirked and threw a towel at the Dragon Slayer before moving to grab his things. “I’ll see you at home, Gajeel. It was nice to see you Levy!” The Exceed waved at the blunette who waved back.

“You too, Lily!” Levy smiled before moving to smile at Gajeel.

“Ya okay, Shorty? I didn’t expect ya. I’m not upset or ‘nything, but ya don’t usually surprise me like this.” Gajeel was a little thrown.

“I want to talk about something. And… you won’t exactly like the topic.” Levy’s voice was soft, earning a look from Gajeel.

“Alright. Let’s sit in the shade.” He sighed, moving to take her hand. After several minutes, they were sitting side by side.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Mainly about the past… mostly before I met you, but a lot of the things I learned then….” She spoke after a bit of silence.

He said nothing, just listened.

“I’ve been thinking…” She started to say.

“How come I have a feelin' it ain’t about anything good…” He couldn’t help but mutter, hearing her start.

“I'm thinking of… when you were in Phantom Lord.” She finished, her eyes looking towards him, and she watched him swallow hard.

The silence was thick and uncomfortable.

“I don't wanna be thinkin' 'bout that, Lev… I hurt ya…” His voice shook, his hands trembling. The man stiffened when she placed her hand on his. Crimson eyes looking to the blunette.

“I know… but I realized it taught me a lesson. An important one…” She whispered.

Silence descended upon them both again.

“You did hurt me.” He flinched at the words. “But… you made me bigger… you made me stronger.” She moved to carefully move onto his lap, her arms wrapping around him. “You made me learn a very important lesson.”

Gajeel didn’t know what to say, all he could see were the memories of her… up in that tree. When they fought the demons, and nearly died, he never got the chance to truly apologize.

“I…”

“Shh…” Levy gently pressed her finger to his lips, offering a soft smile. “I know… I already know you’re sorry for everything that happened… that you regret it.” She gently kissed his lips, and while she wanted to react to the tears that she saw in his eyes, but she couldn’t not yet.

“You made me realize many things back then. That… while I love Fairy Tail, I can’t always lean on them… that I needed to grow myself… Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were….” She said lightly.

“You did knock me down.” She cupped his cheeks, meeting his gaze. “But you… you built me back up. You made me big and made me realize how big I could be.”

“Even… even so. I can never…” Gajeel was struggling with words. Tears were in his eyes, anger at himself… at his actions. Hating himself.

“Maybe not… but I can. I can forgive you… and I love you.” She pressed her forehead to his. “I stopped grieving my past self, Gajeel. Stop grieving for your missed chances and the mistakes you’ve made.”

Gajeel’s arms wrapped around her, tightly squeezing her to his chest. “Let me… let me grieve her a bit longer, Levy… Let me grieve the you I put fear into a bit longer…” He whispered and held her close. “Without her… I would have stayed a bad guy…”

Levy just held him tighter, “I forgive you, Gajeel… and I’ll be here when you’re ready to forgive yourself.”

Gajeel nodded, his arms tight around him as he held her close.

It may have brought up bad memories, but it did something for him… it allowed him to work past it… he would be allowed to grieve… but Levy had moved past her grief…

She’d help him grieve, help him move past it, just as he helped make her big.

“I love you, Gajeel… I’m sorry I put you through this.”

A weak laugh escaped the man as he buried his face in her neck, tears still not falling.

“No Levy… this helps me. You have no idea how much this helps me, Lev.”

He would move past his grief. Just not yet.

#gajevy #gajevy week #gajevyweek #gajevy fanfic #gajevy fanfiction #Gajeel X Levy #Gajeel Redfox #gajeel and levy #fairy tail gajeel #fairy tail #fairy tail levy #fairy tail fanfiction #fairy tail fanfic #Levy McGarden

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