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noeou · 1 year

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COMPETITION ASIDE! —- octavinelle + pomefiore

( modern au! ) when they find out you’ve been working beyond your limit.

. . . ⟢ GENRE: fluff.

. . . ⟢ NOTES: old format for this post ‘cause im finishing this prompt. never got the chance to and i love it <3

[ azul ashengrotto | ceo and personal secretary. ]

as your boss, he was under the impression your day ended when his did. that’s why he didn’t work overtime at the office, so you could go home when he did. sometimes you stayed at his place when you worked late together, but that wasn’t too often.

he was concerned when you didn’t show up to his house at six in the morning, per usual. you weren’t ever late in the years he’s been working with you so he wasn’t mad you weren’t there, sure he was irritated but whatever.

when you don’t respond to his texts and show no signs of having shown up at the office, he gets worried. he drives himself to your place, despite the tweel’s protests that one of them should drive him, to check on you.

when i say he panics when you open the door, i mean he panics. you were in the same clothes you wore the day prior, hair a mess, and eyes deprived of sleep.

he pushes down the guilty feeling when he sees the same feelings occupy your eyes. he pulls you close with a hum of acknowledgment, then dragging you inside.

“you didn’t sleep well, if at all, did you?” azul shook his head, admiring your effort as well as your beauty. “go get ready, i’ll inform jade of our absences— ah, don’t object. you’ve earned a day of rest, i’ll see that you get it.”

[ jade leech | company secretary and employee. ]

made checking up on you apart of his duties, without being aware of it. he always stopped by your division just to see you, even if you didn’t notice him.

he was running late one day, unexpected errands his coworker piled up for him were holding him up. he got to your division at lunch, under the pretense he was checking on your project and he was beyond surprised.

your division was empty, as they probably went out for lunch, except for you; a uniform jacket was draped on your shoulder. jade was yet to figure out what pissed him off more: you not sleeping properly or another person taking better care of you than he was.

regardless, he shot a text to azul and tidied up your desk. when he was satisfied, he folded the jacket with an unknown owner and wrote on one of your post-it notes a thanks and put it on top before carrying you to his car.

you woke up at this point, it took everything in him for jade not to scold you on the spot. somehow he succeeded, letting out an uncharacteristic hum to lull you back to sleep.

after settling you into a guest room; jade prepared water, soup, extra pillows, extra blankets, anything you’d need as if you were sick. “i swear, the anxiety you give me takes year off my life.” you may or may not wake up to him asleep in a chair across from you.

[ floyd leech | employee and division leader. ]

unlike the former two, you’re floyd’s superior (aka his boss.) you worked in the testing division, you came up with food ideas and tested them for production.

you worked the most out of your team. yes they worked hard, but at work you were revising theirs; it’s only in overtime you get a chance to work on your own.

he was very much the attend all division parties type of guy, it’s one of the many things that made the both of you so different.

the recent month has been the busiest for you all, and shock horror— the crew decided to celebrate with a party. you were there as they planned on where to go outside the building, only cause you were looking for your keys and the inner parking lot was extremely dark.

floyd took this opportunity to wave said keys in front of you with a scheming grin.

“celebrate with me, l/n. we can go wherever you want… on me.” while it was uncharacteristic of him to offer to pay, you accepted. mainly cause you had nothing better to do, and also the fact you were his ride home so you wouldn’t here the end of it,

[ vil schoenheit | actor and preforming arts student. ]

allow me to start with you are an adult, in college in this timeline.

vil is an alumni at your school, it’s how you met. actually, it’s more because he was a prodigy that breezed right through the course, leaving you behind for another year or so.

guiding you where he could, vil was able to keep tabs on your well being. while he didn’t really struggle with school, it was quite different for you. having the tendency to hyper focus and forget the outside world, vil’s been the anchor to bring you back.

this weighed on him when he was offered an overseas project. while you reassured him to take care of yourself, he knew he’d be too busy to check that.

nonetheless, he went. it was quite clear within the first week, he’d be busier than you both expected. it was radio silence on his end; but you still made an effort to record yourself do skincare when talking about your day and sent it to him in place of face timing.

but what matters in behind the scenes, something that was meant to be his expertise. returning to your private doctor watching over you while you were on bed rest after fainting at school was most certainly unexpected, but not too shocking,

“what did i tell you about taking care of yourself? did we not make an agreement?” he scolded as your doctor took her leave. it took a while until he moved on from it; had only he knew his silence and exams on top of that caused you to be so anxious you fainted and not your lack of rest.. maybe he would’ve let you off the hook.

[ rook hunt | idol and manager. ]

tries not to bother you unless necessary because his group members can already be a handful, but makes sure to talk to you everyday (if that makes sense.) it doesn’t matter if it’s just hello, he’d prefer have a positive relationship with you.

one night you misdialed him, confusing rook a lot. he was surprised by the tiredness in your voice and your weak laugh when you realized it was him you called by mistake.

he stayed on the phone with you until you fell asleep, talking about random things. he didn’t hang up when you stopped responding, he actually went to go get you, your office wasn’t far away from where they practiced so he’d pick you up before going to the dorms.

it was at this point, being the leader of his group held an entirely different meaning and responsibility. slowly but surely, the other members stopped relying on you for all the trivial things, lifting a large weight off of your shoulders.

not only that, a new maturity settled in rook that you didn’t recognize. you weren’t sure what exactly prompted such a change as your memory of the night was hazy, but you were grateful no less.

“i already have their lunch handled. eat with me again, hm?” how could you disagree, your little lunch days were a welcome addition to your schedule.

[ epel felmier | farmer and baker. ]

you and epel are childhood friends, so knowing you well was something he prided himself in.

recently, you entered a baking competition and he was your partner (an honor, truly.) he couldn’t help but notice how much wasted bread began filling the trash cans in your kitchen.

while he wasn’t as skilled as you in the bread making department, he still made the effort of learning through online tutorials so he wasn’t clueless.

being the man of many talents he is, he seemingly surpassed your skill when you first started, however that wasn’t the point.

his intention was to learn terminology and the ‘baking dictionary’ per say, in an attempt to understand your ranting about your struggle in ‘lacking perfection’ better.

epel did make sure to carve you a special pastry as an reward, regardless of if you won or not. baking isn’t as easy as you made it look and he wouldn’t ignore that.

“each pastry tastes better than the last, don’t worry. you’re not giving yourself enough credit.” before you could protest, epel shoved a piece of the bread in your mouth with a smile, “—ah, i won’t hear otherwise.”

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campoverlook-if · 25 days

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Progress Update #4// 4/3/24

Hey everyone, just wanted to update you all on the story.

I've started a new process for the past few days where I write for two hours and then take fifteen-thirty minute breaks in between. I'm still blanking on what to write for a section sometimes, but I'm really trying not to have grayed out choices again. That was NOT fun.

Still, the writing process shouldn't be forced, but sometimes you just really need to kick your own ass and grab that text file by the ears. Plus, this is the most productive I've felt since getting my wisdom teeth removed.

In celebration of this new bout of inspiration, here's a sneak peek of an upcoming scene you may encounter in the update.

Alright, that's it. This girl can't just bully you away because she doesn't like you. You hadn't even done anything when she first started acting nasty towards you. Yes, you may have walked away in the middle of a conversation, but she had been so…aggressive. You weren't just going to stand there and take it, and you definitely weren't going to start now. So, you take a step closer to Claire, giving her a leveled glare of your own. "Last time I checked, this table doesn't belong to you." Tension quickly fills the air around the two of you. Claire doesn't respond to your retort, but she doesn't need to. Her body language gives you all the information you need to know.

Ooooh boi, what the hell did you do to make Claire this mad at you. And on the first day? Tragic.

Along with that we'll be getting into a few things before finally ending episode 1:

Reworked the gender system of the counselors. Now you can choose from the beginning how you want them to be.

Added the choice to be non-binary (a new batch of campers, hooyay!). Also need to add onto scenes with Asher, Claire, and Lucas.

Meeting the final two counselors (Ruby and Silas).

An added scene with E for returning MCs during your walk to the mess hall.

Going through orientation, including a fun scavenger hunt (Uncle Robert said it would be fun, don't believe him).

A small scene with your new roommates in your cabins.

I'm so excited just thinking about it, and I'm the one writing the dang story.

If you hadn't seen it yet, I answered an ask a little bit ago about doing visuals for the blog. I'm not the best at visual media (that's more my mother's thing) but I can use a character maker like a mf if I have too.

It was kinda nice, a little limiting, but it was surprisingly helpful for me to have it. I've thought about how these characters look for so long it's strange to suddenly see them brought to life in any type of way except text. The character bios have been updated with these pictures now.

(UPDATE: LITERALLY MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT DECISION: SLEEP DEPRIVED AF BEHAVIOR)

So, I wrote this update yeaterday and was planning for it to just post through queue like I normally do, but the situation has changed. The demo will be updated again, however the stopping point is literally the same. The only major changes are the gender system, adding being non-binary, and having everything on one file (pray for me). The stopping point is still the same.

All in all the word count is now at this point: 57k (W/O Code), 14K (average). Not a huge jump average wise, but I'm happy anyway.

Link to demo here.

(END OF EMERGENCY UPDATE)

That's all I wanted to talk about for now, if you run into any bugs just let me know and I'll fix it lickity split.

See you all on the next update!

P.S. - I love it when new people follow and only like the posts of certain counselors. I know who you're into now ;).

#camp overlook #update #interactive fiction #if wip #updates

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chaithetics · 1 year

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A Cinematic Lover Chapter 1

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f reader

Word count: 3.7K

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI (no smut in this chapter), mentions of substance use, chronic illness, endometriosis, fibroids. (Reader doesn't have any physical descriptions or implied characteristics but does have chronic illnesses and is explicitly diagnosed as having endometriosis, fibroids and vaginismus, which will be mentioned in more detail in further chapters).

Summary: Dieter Bravo is a fan of a screenwriter and may have a small crush on her. He seizes the opportunity to finally work with her on her latest project but is this more than a crush?

Note: I plan to finish/post the next part of The Miller's Buttercup on Monday or Tuesday. I've just been toying with this idea for a couple of weeks now and really wanted to finish part 1 (I wanted to procrastinate) and was inspired to finish it after reading some of the wholesome Dieter x horror lover fics by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist (I was procrastinating and reading their fics, would recommend you do the same).

Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy :)

P. S the Dieter Bravo gifs are killing me

*********

Sati Gajjar was talented, there was no doubt about it, she was finally getting the recognition that she deserved and her name was becoming a hot one to work with. She was down-to-earth but assertive, articulate yet kind, and passionate with a clear vision always in sight. She was your best friend and had been ever since you two met in middle school maths, a subject you both couldn’t stand.

You’d both quickly bonded over books, music, films and television. Media marathons quickly became a staple in your friendship. You both loved storytelling and started making short films together in your early teen years. Sati was articulate but she wasn’t quite the wordsmith or poet that you were, you had a way with words and a million ideas for stories. Sati brought your words to life, she was direct and she knew how to make people listen, she knew exactly how to utilise a set, actors, and a camera to make your ideas better.

You were a dynamic duo. Most of the work in both of your filmographies were collaborations but with more opportunities, schedules and life you’d both recently done some non-dynamic duo projects. This film was not one, it was your first time working together properly in what really wasn’t long for industry time but felt like forever for the both of you. Your last project together was technically writing an episode of Black Mirror that Sati directed, it didn’t line up though as you were working on something else in Australia so you weren’t on set together and during the writing process it had just been the usual influx of back-and-fourth messages and some video calls.

Sati wished that you were here now, you both had producing credits, Sati was directing and you had written the script, it was a Blumhouse Productions feature which was big for both of your careers. You were in Australia wrapping up filming of an HBO Max limited series you’d created, written and were a co-Showrunner of. It had been your biggest creative responsibility yet and you were anxious and sleep-deprived, which Sati was well aware of.

Your presence was missed more in the current circumstances, Sati had a meeting with the lead actor in your new picture, Dieter Bravo. It was clear that he wasn’t super interested in being at this meeting, which didn’t please Sati but she didn’t let it show.

Sati absentmindedly tapped her fingers against her chair as the actor sunk further into the chair in the office, he looked like a slob and had his sunglasses pulled down low on his nose. He was visibly hungover and his head was pounding, his agent Abby was far more involved in the small talk than him. As the conversation continued it became clearer that nobody else was joining, Dieter interrupted Sati and Abby by snapping his fingers and then saying your name.

“Hmm?” Sati asked looking over at him. She wanted to like him as they’d be closely working together but while she found this behaviour somewhat intriguing for the enigmatic reputation of Dieter Bravo, she was finding it off-putting and concerning for his potential work ethic.

“Where is she?” Dieter asked. Abby sighed and rolled her eyes, she had already told Dieter that this meeting was just with the director and that you were unavailable, it was no secret to her that your involvement was a significant factor in him taking on this role no matter how much he tried to downplay that fact.

“Unfortunately for us, she’s wrapping up a project at the moment, post-production in Australia. She sends her apologies though and will be with us for production.” Sati calmly responded, smiling at Dieter.

Dieter groaned lightly then pushed his glasses up a bit more and nodded. It was too early in the day to be talking about work for his liking especially with a hangover. Meeting you was the main incentive for being up this early, he knew you wouldn’t be here but he still held out hope that maybe you’d have shown up. Dieter was a fan of your past work and he wouldn’t admit it to his agent or the director across from him but he had a little crush on you, despite the fact that you’d never met. He was sure that Abby knew this though.

As the meeting eventually wrapped up, he lazily shook Sati’s hand and left. She was nice enough and she was firm, Dieter could tell she wouldn’t be impressed with his antics, he imagined you wouldn’t either if you two were so close, he’d have to keep that in mind.

**********

You didn’t know what a healthy sleep schedule was, your sleep schedule had always been atrocious. Cramps were in full swing and could feel a distinct pain in your ovaries and bladder, yay for endo and fibroids you bitterly thought. You didn’t have your period but you were experiencing a mild flare-up, which was part of what was keeping you up, along with the general stress of life. You were an anxious bean to your core, a fact you’d never argue with.

You sat at a desk, sipping some peppermint tea and with a heat pad down your pants as you reviewed the final cuts of episodes while following along with a heavily annotated and doodled-on script. This show had been filmed in Australia and post-production was based here as well, a lot of the creative talent on this show was local which you’d liked being involved with. But you would also be the first to admit that this job and the timezone difference certainly didn’t help with your already problematic sleep schedule.

It was almost 2 AM for you, you heard your phone vibrate on the desk and looked over. It was Sati, seeing her name and picture light up your phone screen made you smile, you loved her more than anything. Rubbing your eyes, you picked your phone up quickly, almost clumsily dropping it

“Hey boss,” you answered, somewhat tiredly but your tone was still chipper, more than what was natural for this hour.

“Not sleeping huh?” Sati playfully questioned, well aware of your sleeping habits and what you’d say.

“You’re the one that called,” You responded matter-of-factly with a smirk on your face that you knew she’d somehow know about despite not being able to see your face. “Turns out that a whole new timezone just keeps the sleep schedule just as troubling.”

“So I shouldn’t move to New Zealand and become a sheep farmer?” Sati asked with a chuckle, “Wait for a few more jobs I reckon. But you know I’m in Australia and not New Zealand right?” You joked in a deadpan tone, causing Sati to laugh, “Yes, I know they’re two different countries. New Zealand just seems nicer, less spiders!” Sati dramatically exclaimed. Which made you laugh, nobody had a phobia of spiders quite like Sati, you wouldn’t remind Sati that you hadn’t been attacked by any spiders or seen any gargantuan ones. You’d already done it and she wouldn’t have a bar of it.

You remembered that Sati had had a meeting with the talented but notorious Dieter Bravo and that was probably part of the reasoning behind this call so you finally dared to ask “So, how did it go?”

Sati sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before answering. “He was well, bored to say the least? And hungover? His agent Abby was fine, he didn’t really have much to say.” “Oh?” You queried, his substance use was highly publicised, and his reputation included him being a brilliant actor but an eccentric personality, to say the least. All of these were facts you both were aware of.

“He asked about you, it’s like the only time he spoke.” Sati teased with a confused but amused tone. “Wait what?” You were surprised at that, Sati’s name was obviously bigger than yours, her role naturally meant that she was more of the face of behind-the-scenes work and you had no problems with that. You loved storytelling but you hated the spotlight from a young age. You’d had people compliment your scripts but you’d never had someone as big as him express an explicit interest solely in you, well your work.

“Yeah, I swear it was the only time he spoke! He’s a big fan of May, Abby made that clear, that the script and working with you was why he wanted the role.” Sati stated, she was well aware of your disdain for the spotlight and your difficulty with praise, and she was glad that you at least got the flowers you deserved out of her awkward meeting.

“That’s so wild-” you said, pausing to yawn and push some loose strands of hair behind your ear. “I can’t believe he’s seen it-” “Of course, he’s seen it and of course he loved it. It was a hit! Remember?” Sati said excitedly with a playful tone in her voice. You smiled and rolled your eyes despite remembering Sati couldn’t see that, “Shut up,” you said playfully, then sighed as you rubbed your eyes, “It’s just still so surreal.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sati laughed softly, recognising your voice was becoming a bit more tired. “Well, I’ll let you go, sleep with the Crocs and whatever else it is you’re doing down there.”

“I prefer brunches with koalas actually Sati.” You remarked. “Well, at least the Crocs don’t have chlamydia.” Sati quipped back, you chuckled dryly and rolled your eyes at that.

“I love you too Sati, well good night and morning to you.” You replied as you felt sleep catching up more with you.

“I love you. See you soon.” Sati said and then she hung up.

You didn’t know what to think, you expected that Sati’s meeting with Dieter would either be an absolute trainwreck or he would somehow disprove his reputation, that maybe it was all an act. You’d never expected in a million years that while the meeting wouldn’t be the highlight of Sati’s day that he’d somehow end up turning out to be a fan of your work. You felt yourself smile at that, and you tiredly scolded yourself, you didn’t need the validation of a stranger and it felt weird knowing that the enigmatic, finicky Dieter Bravo liked your work. It felt even weirder that that had made you smile.

********

It had been a few months since Sati had had that meeting with Dieter and called you. Post-production had wrapped up in Australia and you were now back home in the USA, you were glad to be back home, the familiarity was comforting and put you at ease a bit. Filming was still almost a month away but you had already had some meetings with Sati and other cast and crew members which had gone well and you were having one with Dieter this afternoon. You were curious to meet him and this curiosity grew alongside anxiety with knowing that he had specifically mentioned your work.

You were now at a cafe waiting for Sati, you’d worn one of your black turtle necks with black trousers with an emerald green coat hanging off your shoulders. You weren’t in a creative block but had a million ideas, which was typical as you were entering a project, you’d been typing away when Sati came over.

“God, do you ever take a break?”

“Ain’t no rest for the writers. We’re wicked creatures.”

“You’re not Mike Flanagan, you don’t need to be pumping out at least one amazing thing a year,” Sati scoffed as she sat down.

“It’s just future ideas.” You replied and Sati quirked an eyebrow which made you smile, “I’ll spam you and pick your brain about it later, okay?” She smiled and nodded as she made silly plot guesses as she rested her chin on your shoulder, reading what you were typing as you both waited for Dieter to come.

Little did you know, Dieter was also genuinely anxious to meet you. Dieter looked around the cafe and he quickly saw you and Sati. He felt a blush creep up his neck to his cheeks as he saw you, it was surreal to see you in person. Your face was scrunched up in concentration, you were typing away and Sati was leaning on you. You said something which made her double up with giggles, and whatever she responded with broke the look of concentration etched onto your face with a smirk. You then laughed and took a sip of your water. As Dieter made his way over to the table, he couldn’t help but think how gorgeous you looked when your face was screwed up in conversation but also when you laughed. He wanted to make you laugh and he hoped he’d be able to hear that sweet noise in person today.

“Hey,” Dieter started as he awkwardly fidgeted with his hands, you and Sati looked up at him. You smiled warmly at him and closed your laptop.

“Hey, it’s lovely to meet you-” You put your hand out to shake his as he responded. “Uh, yeah, you too.” He shook your hand gently but firmly, your hand felt so small in his big one, and you felt a tingle as your hands touched which made you smile softly. Dieter felt it too and blushed at the sensation.

Dieter sat down and drummed his fingers softly against the table. Sati got up and looked over at Dieter, “I’ll go and order, what do you drink Dieter?” Dieter answered with his order which made you and Sati both raise your eyebrows at the amount of caffeine but Sati went off to the line.

“How are you?” You asked Dieter genuinely but anxiously. It was bizarre seeing a celebrity as big as him in front of you, you’d be working with him and he was apparently a fan of your work? It was wild. You knew he was attractive but he was also somehow more attractive in person, there was something charming about his tousled curls and the way he seemed to fidget. Was he anxious as well you wondered? Dieter looked at you like he was taken aback, you noticed his eyes changed but you weren’t quite sure what the change meant.

He was taken aback by your question but smiled, he could tell by your tone and the way you were looking at him, it was genuine. It wasn’t the small talk or robotic answer with an expected vague and positive answer kind of question. “I’m alright, how are you?” He answered, he was, he was more anxious than anything but he didn’t want to admit that. You nodded and answered that you were alright as well.

“Were you working on something?” Dieter asked, his warm chocolate eyes flicking over to the now-closed laptop. You nodded sheepishly. “What is it?” Dieter was genuinely curious and wanted as much of a glimpse into your mind as possible.

“Just a few ideas in my head, nothing concrete super concrete at the moment. I’ve been talking to Sati about something based on Violet Paget’s works. I’ve also been toying with the idea of a Medea adaptation for a couple of months, a psychological drama with subtle horror elements.” You replied, feeling a bit self-conscious over a borderline rambling, Dieter nodded and smiled as you spoke though, it didn’t seem forced and it reassured you a little.

Dieter hadn’t heard of Violet Paget before and made a mental note to Google that name as soon as he left. But he could easily see how a story like Medea’s could be adapted into something deeply emotive and visceral, especially by you. He smiled at the thought of how you’d adapt a story like that, something already heartbreaking and expand it in that provoking way into something also beautiful.

“Maybe I could read Jason? If that helps your process or fits a future casting call.” He beamed with a growing smile. You smiled in return which reassured him that his offer wasn’t a cocky move. But you raised an eyebrow in surprise at his knowledge of the story. “What?” He asked, worried for a moment that maybe he’d overstepped and did indeed make you uncomfortable.

“I was just surprised you knew Medea and Jason.” You answered with a warm smile which made Dieter relax again.

“I did my tragedies,” Dieter responded proudly.

“Huh,” You chuckled which provoked him to raise an eyebrow. “Well, we’ve only just met but you strike me as more of a Shakespeare guy I guess.”

“Am I that brand of pretentious?” Dieter asked in a teasingly offended tone. You laughed and shook your head reassuringly which made Dieter laugh.

Dieter was secretly a people pleaser and he desperately wanted to impress you and the ease in the conversation and the laugh he’d gotten out of you relaxed him. It was as you laughed that Sati sat back down.

She was quick to notice the difference in Dieter’s attitude and persona with you present. He was sober for starters but he was engaged in the conversation and he seemed to hang on to every word that left your mouth, which Sati knew you didn’t notice.

The conversation flowed for a couple more minutes and then your drinks were brought out. You sipped on your chai as Sati then spoke about some pacing and shot sequences she had in mind that impressed Dieter. He asked some questions about his character and context which you answered thoughtfully, Dieter knew this would be a hit and easily one of the best projects he’d be involved in.

As the conversation went on he was quickly picking up on your mannerisms. Like Dieter, you were also a fidgeter, you would fidget with the corner of your clothes, he assumed this was an anxious habit but he picked up on that it was something you also seemed to do subconsciously. Sati was clearly the more extroverted of the two of you, she was a bit bolder and it was clear that she adored you but Dieter quickly knew you were the warmer one of the pair. He wasn’t too surprised but he had expected you to be more gloomy based on your works and how you seemed to stay out of the public eye.

You also had quite an expressive face, it would be great for the stage he thought, he also quickly learned that when your expression shifted into neutrality it wasn’t necessarily you being upset but that it was a shift for deadpan delivery. You were witty and some of your humour was silly but you definitely had a dry sense of humour. It always made Sati laugh and she didn’t seem as much of a serious person as he’d assumed when they’d met. You seemed to delight in making Sati laugh, which made Dieter want to make you laugh even more. You weren’t just ridiculously talented but you were kind, caring and funny, wanting to bring laughter to your loved ones. It was true though, you often used humour as a coping mechanism (you still loved a good, big fat cry) and you just wanted to make everyone happy.

Dieter was easy to talk to and you felt surprisingly charmed by him, the knot of anxiety in your stomach slowly untangled throughout the conversation. You knew you shouldn’t have made assumptions but he was surprisingly a good listener, he was attentive, and he asked good questions regarding the project which you appreciated. You wanted to work with passionate people, people who cared and that was always more of a gamble on the slightly bigger projects.

After a couple of hours, cinematography came up and you all spoke about Bones and All, at this point Sati checked her phone for the time and looked up.

“I’m sorry but we should probably head off now, for the next item on the agenda,” Sati remarked.

“How long do we have?” You asked Sati, being absolutely unaware of the time with your phone in your pocket and your laptop closed. “Just under an hour,” Sati responded, you nodded and Dieter tilted his head to look at the both of you.

“I’m sorry, it was so lovely to finally meet you.” You said looking at Dieter, he smiled and blushed slightly, “It’s okay, it was great to meet you too.” He said smiling at you, he then turned to Sati “And it was great to catch up again. Thanks for making the time for this.” He answered.

You all got up and said your goodbyes, he went in the car with his driver that was just outside of the cafe. You put your hands in your pockets and looked at Sati as you both waited for your Uber. “You made it sound a lot more professional than what it is.” You said. Sati looked at you and raised an eyebrow teasing, “It’s important.”

You chuckled at that and playfully rolled your eyes, the next item on the agenda was going to a local cinema for its special screening of Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy. It felt almost rude to end the meeting on that but you had been looking forward to this with Sati so you didn’t say anything.

As Dieter sat in the backseat of the car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly Googled you. The fact that you and Sati seemed to be going to the same “item on the agenda” reassured him that this meeting didn’t end because you had a date. Plus he was certain that you seemed almost disappointed in having to leave, he hoped that wasn’t a delusion. But he still needed to check.

You didn’t have a ring on your finger but that didn’t mean much, your Wikipedia page didn’t mention a partner but there wasn’t much there under ‘Personal Life’, he’d gathered you were a private person anyway. He checked your Instagram and it didn’t look like you had any partners. He knew you and Sati were assumed to be partners often but you’d both denied this and Sati had a long-term girlfriend that the public knew of.

He exhaled and leaned back into the seat, it looked like you were single, well he took the lack of evidence of a relationship as a good sign. He then remembered you’d mentioned Violet Paget, he typed her name in and clicked on her short Wikipedia page. Part of Dieter had hoped that meeting you would squash his little crush but now he just felt smitten.

Tag list: @pedritosdarling @read4funz @undermoonlightwalk @daddy-din @cowboychickenlittle

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo fic #the bubble #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal characters #chronic illness #chronic illness reader #endometriosis #endometriosis reader #fibroids #horror #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo fanfiction #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

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juicycoutureheaux · 8 days

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Hey yall! It’s been a minute since I posted on Tumblr! I just want to let you know my series: When it’s over is alive and well on Ao3. I stopped posting chapter updates on here because I felt like I was clogging up the tags.

This prompt was inspired by an AI chat prompt weirdly enough. (So if you’re reading this and you made the chat please message me so I can tag u bb!)

Anyway here’s a product of me being sleep deprived and literally just being mushy in general. I seriously wrote this last night before I went to bed and it hasn’t been edited. I may go back and edit, I just figured releasing this fic into the wild wasn’t the worst thing I could do.

This is a fluffy kind of OOC fic for Chris Redfield. I hope y’all enjoy

“Late night feeling”

A Chris Redfield x reader fic

Tags: fluff, migraines mentions of death, intimate but platonic relationships, younger woman X older man dynamic

You were resting after a rough deployment. You had made it back to the BSAA barracks and returned to your small room that had just enough space for your twin size bed, a desk and some shelving.

You had made the space work to the best of your advantage; free housing meant you had to get creative but you managed to make your small room as welcoming as possible.

The other soldiers were used to the barebones when it came to accommodations, and usually you didn’t mind when you were out on deployment, but when you were stateside you made sure to have all the comforts you could fit in the tiny room.

Pretty soon, you were popular in your unit for having just about anything. Did somebody have a headache from the dry air? You had a humidifier. Somebody needed some extra toiletries but didn't want to leave the building? You always had spare supplies. Cold medicine? You had it.

Pretty soon you were known as “mom” despite being on the younger side. It made you proud, because your position was technically as a medic, and it meant more to you that you could care for your teams stateside as well.

You were studying the popcorn ceiling in the small room for the 50th time, trying to get yourself to get to sleep when you heard a knock on your door.

You opened it thinking it was another soldier needing something small, but were shocked to instead see Chris Redfield, Captain of multiple elite task forces and founder of the BSAA.

You didn’t know whether to salute or curtsy, you were so close to falling asleep and were delirious

He smiled at your obvious discomfort. “I heard from the guys earlier you were the one to see if I needed anything.”

You looked at him wide eyed, still shocked that he came to your room late at night. He must really need something bad.

“Y-yeah, I’m sort of the barracks *mom* of sorts.” You giggled nervously. “What can I get you?”

Chris sighed. “Do you have anything for migraines?”

You looked at Chris, thoughtfully.

“I have a couple of solutions, how long have you had symptoms?”

Chris looks at you, you can tell what he’s going to tell you he’s embarrassed about. “…4 hours.”

You looked at him in horror. You knew Redfield was hardcore, but you had some migraines yourself before, if he was seeking your help, it must have been pretty intense.

Without thinking, you mentally switched into caretaker mode.

You quickly pulled the covers on your bed, and pulled out a foam wedge you had underneath your bed that you used to get comfortable for reading or watching tv.

Chris couldn’t help but grimace through his pain.

“Are you used to having late night visitors Y/L/N?” He looked at the foam wedge. “What the hell is that for?”

You snapped your head back at him. “What are you insinuating?” Genuinely curious, did he think you were going to treat his migraines by fucking him?

Chris grimaced again. “I hear you younger girls are into some wild things these days, but I didn’t expect it from you.” He put his hands up defensively. “More power to you though.”

You laughed from your belly. “Captain with all due respect, I think you’re seriously confused on what this is for.” You placed the wedge close to the foot of the bed. “Plus, if that’s how you think we’re gonna fix your migraine, you’re seriously confused on what my job here is.” You smiled at him.

You had only worked with Chris a couple of times. He wasn’t a stranger to you by any means, but you definitely weren’t friends either.

He was your superior and you respected him. The first time the two of you had met, you were a new recruit trying to make it onto the field.

You had passed every cognitive test the BSAA had to offer, but your physical skills were shit to say the least. You were athletic, you were great when it came to stamina, but when it came to hand to hand combat and firearms, you hesitated.

You remember the disappointed look your supervisor gave you when review time came. You were extremely gifted when it came to observations and patching men up, but you were a liability on the field.

“Get used to seeing the inside of the clinic, sweetheart.” You remembered him saying to you.

You remember going to the gun range, it was late in the afternoon and you thought no one was there. You were crying while missing the target completely. You knew you looked insane, but damn you felt so good.

“Why the hell can’t I just do this one simple thing?” You remember saying out loud to yourself. “The stupid boys back home could do this shit, but I doubt they could suture up flesh, and I can’t deploy because of this one thing!” You said louder emptying the clip into the target.

You pressed the button that brought the target to you. You looked at it helplessly; the bullets holes were all over the place. You crumpled the paper furiously into your hands.

“That's one way to neutralize a target,” you heard a warm baritone behind you say.

You turned around to see Chris Redfield with his own gear, ready to begin his own practice.

You saluted him. “Captain Redfield, Sir.”

He saluted you back. “At ease soldier, you don’t have to be so formal, no one else is here.”

“Y-yes sir.”

He walked closer to you, clearly in his element.

“I heard news on your performance review, Y/L/N. That’s brutal.” He said, trying to sound comforting.

Your lip quivered, you were angry and disappointed in yourself. You wanted to angry-cry, but not in front of one of the founders of the BSAA. He probably already thought you were weak, crying would just exacerbate the issue.

“It was.” You said looking down.

He looked at you sympathetically, and put his arm on your shoulder. “You have an incredible brain though.” He said, trying to lighten the mood. “We were really pulling for you this time, we need more personalities like you on the field.”

You looked up at him. “Really?”

Chris smiled at you. “I definitely don’t picture you in spec ops anytime soon, but we definitely could use you in damage control.”

You returned his smile.

“But you also understand why we can’t send you out there unprepared, you could be ambushed anytime.”

“I understand.” A heavy tear fell from your left eye and you immediately wiped it away, in fears of Chris noticing.

He looked at you sympathetically, “It’s normal, not being able to just want to shoot a living thing.”

“But why is it so easy for everyone else? I just can’t do it!” You said, frustrated.

“I think it’s because you’re overthinking it.” He shifts on his feet. “Think of it this way, if someone was going to hurt someone you cared about, even slightly, wouldn’t you not hesitate to take them down?”

You honestly had never thought about it before. You really were thinking of BOWS like victims, but if it were between you and your fellow soldiers getting out alive you wouldn’t hesitate.

Chris saw the gears in your brain working. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“You think of them like they’re normal people, and they definitely may have been at one time.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “But you can’t think of them like that, it’ll get you killed, rookie.”

“Yessir,”’

“You know,” he said, picking up his duffle bag with his arsenal of personal weapons. “I actually have free time this evening, can I show you a couple of things?”

You looked up at him, shocked he would even want to spend one of his rare free moments with a dumbass like you.

“Are you sure? I know you’re always busy, are you sure you want to spend it mentoring my ass?”

“I don’t have anything else better to do, plus I see potential in you, rookie.” He motioned for you to follow him to the lane you were at before he came in.

He positioned himself behind you to perfect your form, gently touching your biceps and arms. He had a strong, but gentle grip on you. You tried not to turn into a teenage girl at his touch, but you seriously hadn’t got any action in a long time.

Chris, remained professional as always; if he noticed that you were crushing on him in the moment he didn’t acknowledge it, he just focused on the task at hand.

The afternoon turned into late in the evening, but you were finally comfortable with shooting your gun.

“Look at you, that was maybe 3 hours of proper training?” Chris looked at your work. “Looks like you’ll be out in the field in no time.”

Chris’ kindness stayed with you, and you were able to get into a lower ranking team, but a team nonetheless. You were finally able to help on the ground.

Now, Chris was looking to you for help and you couldn’t disappoint him.

“I’m going to have you sit down on my bed, okay? I promise I’m not gonna try anything funny with you okay?” You joked with him. Trying to lighten the mood.

“Honestly Y/L/N, I’m in so much pain, I’m willing to try anything.” He said sitting down.

“Good.”

You instructed him to lay down, putting the wedge underneath his calves, elevating his feet. You then grabbed a thick towel from one of your drawers and rolled it up. You gently placed the towel under his neck and made sure to keep his head supported with a pillow.

Chris grunted.

You looked down at him worried. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah,” he breathed out. “This is the best I’ve felt in a while.

“Good!” You chirped. “Where’s your pain radiating from?” You asked, getting up to turn on the humidifier. You knew from your own experience warm steam always helped, especially since it was December and seemed to worsen migraines.

“It feels like it’s behind my eyes, but it really does feel like it’s all over.”

“Is that normal for your migraines?” You asked putting hand sanitizer on. You had an idea of what you were going to do, but you wanted to make sure.

“Recently, yeah. I sustained a pretty bad neck and head Injury a couple years ago and they worsened from there.” He said, closing his eyes. His voice lowered like he was starting to get some relief.

“Are you okay with me touching you, Captain?” You said hesitantly.

“Of course, Doc.”

You smiled. “Not a doctor, but I think I can help.”

You began massaging the base of his neck, gently pulling his head to realign his spine. You were going at it for a couple of minutes before you heard him groan.

You stopped for a moment. “Still okay?”

“Better than okay. Can you keep going?” He asked sheepishly.

You were thankful he had his eyes closed, because his tone made you blush.

You began to let your hands move to his temples massaging the tense muscles in his face.

“You really carry a lot of stress,” you said trying to make his facial muscles relax manually.

“I guess 20 years of fighting monsters will do that to you.” He said bluntly.

“I’m sorry Captain-“ you stammered.

“Y/N drop the captain shit, it’s Chris. Please call me Chris when we’re alone.” It almost sounded like a plea.

“Yessir.”

He smiled, lightening the mood again. “I bet they ate you alive in boot camp.”

You smiled. “They did, but I survived.” You giggled.

You began to work your fingers over his sinuses, being sure to gently, but firmly relieve the tension in his face. Your fingers gently caressed a couple of mostly healed scars over his handsome face.

“I heard you got to see some action in the desert, Y/L/N.”

You sighed. It was a sensitive topic for you right now, but you didn’t want to offend Chris. “Yeah, I had to shoot my first aggressor.”

“You sound upset.”

“It was just,” You sighed heavily, trying to push the image of the infected soldier from your memory.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Chris said, opening your eyes to meet your gaze. Before that moment you hadn’t realized how intimate this interaction was with him. His head was in your lap on a pillow, supported by your crossed legs.

“I knew him.” You said quietly.

“I heard he was one of our guys,” Chris said, his tone tinged with a slight sadness.

“He always was so shy and he was so into his routine it was funny. The other members would always clown on him.” You were reminiscing about your comrade.

“I always keep snacks in my room, and one day he broke his routine to see if I had anything. I was so happy that he asked me for something, that I kept buying the same snack so he would keep coming to me, I just wanted him to feel like I had his back.” You started to sniffle, feeling a burning sensation in your sinuses.

“I don’t know what happened he came back from

recon fine, I had just patched him up; then he turned.” You couldn’t help but tremble, Chris felt this and sat up.

You were slightly surprised by his sudden actions, he turned to face you.

He held your shoulders. “I need you to promise me that you’re not going to let this destroy your life Y/N. Remember what I said, it was either you or him.”

“But why did it have to be him?” You let your emotions go. You began to cry, you were wiping your own tears when Chris wrapped his arms around you. It immediately took you off guard.

He just held you, the warmth of his body radiating onto yours, you no longer felt so cold and lonely. He slowly let go of the embrace.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Don’t apologize, that’s a lot to have on your heart.” Chris looked at you more seriously this time. “Have they done your mental evaluation yet? You guys didn’t get back that long ago.”

You let out a sigh. “Honestly, after all that work to get me in this unit, I think I’m about to fail and be released because of a psych evaluation.”

Chris looked at you sympathetically.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be, I really am just not cut out for this am I?” You pulled your knees to your chest.

He placed a warm hand on your leg.

“You’re doing just fine, the first kill is always the worst, but it doesn’t get easier. You just get tougher.”

You instinctively put your hand over his and squeezed. “I can’t imagine what you’ve seen, what keeps you going?”

Chris rubbed his hand over his face, his migraine had disappeared finally. “I wanted to stop getting close to others, I wanted to shut down, stop caring about people.”

You rubbed his arm and felt him shiver.

“But, that wasn’t who I am. I’d never stop caring, it was the reason I joined the Air Force and the RPD. It just led me…here.” He trailed off.

“We can’t control what happens to us, is what you’re saying, right Chris?”

He smiled. “Exactly. We can control how it affects us. You’re a sweet girl Y/N, I couldn’t stand to watch this line of work harden you.”

You blushed at the sweet girl comment.

“Well I guess then you’ll be happy that I’m thinking of going to TerraSave.” You said, nervous of how he was going to react.

Instead of looking at you with disgust like you had anticipated, he was excited.

“TerraSave? Really? I’m close with a major player over there, maybe I can tell her you’re interested.”

Your heart sank at the mention of a woman he was close with, you knew you never had a chance with him, but you liked to indulge in the healthy fantasy every once in a while.

“That would be great.” You said sheepishly.

“She’s my sister in case you’re wondering.” He winked at you.

You were embarrassed that your face gave it away that you were jealous.

He then boldly lifted your chin with his hand. “If you end up working for TerraSave, there won’t be any rules against taking you out on a date either.”

“Chris, really?” You laughed. You were in shock.

“I like a woman who doesn’t know when to stop,” he winked at you.

“You’re disgusting.” You playfully hit his shoulder.

He feigned defensiveness. “Hey, I was talking about not giving up on reaching a goal, I don’t know where your mind went to.”

You felt your self melt, he was so dreamy, exactly like you imagined. “I never thought I’d see this side of you, Chris. It’s nice.”

He cupped your face with his hand and you instinctively leaned into his palm.

“It helps when I’m with someone who’s able to bring it out of me” he said, stroking your face with his thumb.

You felt equally relaxed with him too, so relaxed that you let out a yawn.

Chris only chuckled. “I guess it is late, huh?” He said gently pulling his hand away.

You whined at the sensation.

“Don’t get bratty on me now,” he laughed.

You put your head into your hands. “How’s your head?”

“Much better,” he sat up straighter. “Crazy what a few moments of relaxing can do.”

You smiled at him, “Feel free to come to my room anytime.”

#chris redfield #resident evil fanfiction #chris redfield x reader #resident evil #fanfiction #resident evil fluff #ooc

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asstrofem · 1 year

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What it is, what it ain't, what it's all about, and whatever else...

(Former pinned post? Yes.)

I'm a married black nonbinary transfem (they/she). I am stubbornly leftist and very queer*.

This blog is 18+ and nsfw. However, none of that means it's a porn blog. If you're constantly coming to my blog to hide SWers in your likes, you're getting blocked.

My time on tumblr: 2011-2018 (deactivated); 2022-present.

I usually have a queue pretty much all day if I feel like it. If not, I'm tired lol. If I'm on your blog, and it seems like I'm kinda, sorta spam-liking your posts, then it's very likely I'm also sending them to my queue.

Common tags include: #txt (formerly #she speaks), #shxt (I came up with this while sleep-deprived. Let's see if it sticks lol), #audio, #vgmusic, #youtube, #soundcloud, #bandcamp, #spotify, #audio/video, #important, #later, and #asks. As for photos of #me, there aren't many, but they're there if you'd like to gaze upon my flesh prison.

More about me: I'm a car girl with a weird hot wheels collection and a love for every generation of Miatas (GO NB GO NB GO). I'm big into racing games, online FPS games (ugh, that's changing, holy fuck thank you me), cozy simulators, survival games, and the occasional RPG.

I love literature and if I'm not reading my usual leftist, socialist, queer, or feminist literature, I'm reading fantasy novels, science fiction, and anything by Stephen King, or N.K. Jemisin.

I also love music and dabble in music production as one of my hobbies, but lately, my other hobby, writing, has been taking up more of my time. The latter craft has grown more attractive as the barrier of entry to being or becoming a writer has remained relatively low. Plus, I love (most of) my writing (now-.....er). Also, the music industry is so garbo now, so I'll definitely pass on that.

Favorite music genres include: Pop (I'm very picky on decades, and so far, this is the best one), almost every subgenre of house, hiphop, r&b, jazz, rock and metal artists that skew more avant-garde, progressive, experimental, or alternative (btw, I'm really enjoying math rock, atm), trance, drum & bass, jungle, garage, breakbeat, neurofunk, ambient music, movie soundtracks, tv soundtracks, video game soundtracks, and many more that I won't list because I listen to too much shit.

I'm married to a cis woman. The relationship is monogamous, however, lately, I've been thinking critically about monogamy. While I'm not sure that I'm polyamorous, I don't feel that the monogamy label applies to me either; maybe somewhere in between. Idk, but with all that being said, do not come to my DMs expecting a connection outside a platonic relationship.

Started HRT on 4/20/23 (yay). Paused it late May (boo). Restarted on 11/18/23 (OOOOOYEAHHHH)

*I'm sexually attracted to many but not all; I'm extremely sapphic and, not in any order, most attracted to femmes, feminine men, mascs (not so much for cishet men, though), and nonbinary folks. The term for this is polysexual (I could be wrong, but I'm not writing a book, so I'm not checking it lmao), but since that word is not a common term, I will usually tell people I'm queer, instead.

WARNING: I am strongly against capitalism, fascism, imperialism, libertarianism, conservatism, and any type of bigotry, including, but not limited to, sexism, misogyny, racism, fat phobia, body-shaming, ableism, queer phobia, transphobia, islamophobia, etc. Minors, ageless blogs, blank blogs, stolen porn blogs, the aforementioned in the first bullet point, TERFs, fascists, SWERFs, and bigots DNI because you will be blocked. Liberals will not be blocked, but I don't agree with every liberal talking point. Pedos and other creeps will also be blocked, as well as reported. Cishet men, y'all are forever on thin ice, so either act right or I'm cracking the ice you skate on.

Other Socials (I rarely use these but if you do, let me know so I can have a reason to gtfo this place lol):

Bluesky

Cohost

#tl:dr #former pinned post #theunsexytaurusbio

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queeresthellhound · 2 years

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Some friendly reminders for ya’ll from a dude with schizoaffective disorder

1) Schizophrenia (and schizoaffective disorder) are Spectrum Disorders just like autism! This means that it may present very differently for different people!

2) Schizophrenia is not the only psychotic disorder! In fact disorders like bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder can also cause psychosis! Psychosis can also be substance induced or even sleep deprivation induced

3) For me, and many others, living with psychosis medications do not get rid of symptoms completely. I personally have more moderate-severe schizoaffective so the primary goal of my treatment is to reduce distress and keep me safe

4) Comparing psychosis or schizophrenia to a permanent acid trip or any other kind of hallucinogenic drug trip is rude. Would some people be okay with the comparison? Obviously because everyone is different. But in general it is rude and may minimize the symptoms this person is going through (also as someone who did plenty of acid prior to developing schizoaffectve trust me they are not comparable and my experience is far closer to acid that most because of how often I did it)

5) People with psychotic disorders often face intense discrimination and dehumanization, especially if they have other mental illnesses as well, both inside mental health care and from the outside world. Please be kind with them if they “overreact” to things you don��t think are “that rude”

6) Originally I had a point here about how not all psychosis needs immediate hospitalization however I realized that’s actually an incredibly nuanced point that didn’t fit this list and likely would have detracted from the outreach and/or intended message of this post. I do plan to make a full post on this topic so I can explain it better and so this post maintains it’s original message of sharing things that I think are important for people to know and remember about psychosis in all it’s forms. I’ve replaced the original point with this message as I want people to understand that you can have a misstep and correct it without necessarily being wrong. It wasn’t a bad point, it just didn’t fit the list and was too nuanced to be a simple bullet point. Moving on!

And finally!! Most Importantly!!

7) Psychotic people are still people. They deserve to be treated with the same love, respect, care, and kindness as anyone else with an illness. Be mindful that our brains are sick, be compassionate but don’t infantalize us. Many many many of us can lead “normal, productive” lives with little to no assistance and those that do need assistance are not children, our normal is just different than yours.

#mental health #mental illness #mental health awareness #mentally ill #actuallymentallyill #seriously schizophrenic #schizophrenic #schizo spectrum #schizoaffective #bpd #bipolar #psychosis #substance induce psychosis #drug induced psychosis #schiophrenia #schizophrenia #mental health advocate

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justoutofrach · 2 years

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Another post PhD brain dump incoming...

Today I finally confronted this sadness that has been lurking in me since I submitted the thesis, and more so since the viva. I think I’ve been denying it’s there because I expected that everything would feel better in this period of my life, and I’ve been trying to convince myself that everything is in fact Good now.

But of course the reality is not as simple as that. Getting the examiners’ decision of minor corrections is obviously fantastic because it means that I don’t have to do any more serious work on the thesis, but it also confirms that I won’t ever do the work that I thought I was going to do at the start of this process. I don’t feel proud of the thesis; I don’t know if I ever will. The final product was so far from what I wanted it to be, and I have so much grief for all the work I didn’t get to do and all the support and supervision that I just didn’t get. And while it was nice for my examiners to confirm that I had done good work anyway, one of the main things I took away from the viva was that they didn’t think I had made it clear what my contributions were (which is something I have to do in my corrections). So I may have achieved the PhD, but it still feels like it’s all come to nothing in the end. Also, the viva was probably the only time in my life that I will talk about my thesis in such depth, and a lot of post PhD people give that as the reason why they enjoy their viva, but I hardly remember mine (probably due to my sleep deprivation at the time). So it’s just in the past now, it may well never be read again.

I am also leaving behind something that has defined the course of my life for 5 years now. I felt for so long that being a PhD student defined me, that now I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself, and I know this is a cliché, but I don’t really know who I am anymore. I don’t really have any close friends who are in the post PhD phase, and I can’t talk about this with any of my friends who are still doing their PhD because I know all too well how horrible that stage can be and it seems insensitive to complain about the after stage to them. So as well as lost, I also feel acutely lonely.

Maybe living at my parents’ again for a while will help and maybe this will all feel less suffocating when I eventually have a job. Though that is another thing to unpack because even though I am literally getting a doctorate, I still feel like unless I build a great career right now I am still a disappointment to my family!! I think what I’m learning is that I am setting impossibly high standards for myself and I will clearly never be satisfied with whatever I am doing.

#PhD shenanigans #personal

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healing-elle · 1 year

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The lowest weight I've reached since 2019 (when I was at my lowest adult weight of 150 pounds) was 188 pounds.

I got down to this weight alllllllll the way back in the fall of 2021 and never seemed to get too close to that number again. Every time I would lose five, I would gain five. If I lost ten, I would gain ten. Until this time. Back on December 1, 2022, I weighed in at 203 pounds (2 shy of my heaviest in 2016) and I made a commitment to myself to lose as much weight as possible in the final month of 2022. No tracking, no calorie counting, no excessive exercise, just listening to my body to get this initial amount off before I really committed to a new lifestyle in 2023 and beyond. Secretly, I hoped to get down to 189.0 because I wanted to lose 6 pounds per month in 2023 in order to reach my UGW (which may seem low but is necessary for medical reasons and is something my doctor is monitoring -- just as a disclaimer!).

So. Imagine my surprise when I hop on the scale on December 31, 2022 and see my secret goal staring back at me! 189.0 -- awesome! And as the month of January has moved along, I've done really well most days to adjust my lifestyle, heal my metabolism, never deprive myself, prioritize daily movement, get better sleep, drink more water each day, and so on and so on. Until this past week.

A big part of why I finally chose to return to Tumblr (from my #fitblr days of 2009-2012 when I lost 25 pounds in college) was to hold myself accountable and document this process for it to be a success story, not another failed attempt of me doing well for a few months and then giving up when life got too stressful or overwhelming.

I have to lose this weight for health reasons. Getting to my goal of 117 is so incredibly important and I've put it off for long enough. No more. This is the last time I'm going through this. I will reach my goals.

I have to make real, substantive changes in how I manage stress and cope with anxiety. Extended periods of elevated cortisol are one of the most detrimental things for health, and I know this. I owe it to myself to take better care of myself instead of constantly spiraling into a total panic and allowing myself to believe it'll never go away.

I have to get better at literally being horizontal and turning my brain off. Even in my 30s, I really, really struggle with sleeping and resting and the feelings of guilt/shame about how I could be using that time for something "productive". It is ridiculous, and it's increasing my risk for heart disease, Alzheimer's, and a bunch of other preventable chronic diseases. No. No. No. Time to do better.

This is an accountability post.

This is an accountability blog.

Next mini goal: 183.0 by Feb. 1, 2023

Let's go!

#healing #fitnessjourney #fitblr #healthblr #weight loss journey #self healing #personal growth

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ryqoshay · 1 year

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Putting on Hairs - Post Production: Sleepless Mask

Primary Pairing: ShizuKasu Rating: G? Words: 566 AU: Theater, Monsters, Cryptids Fandom: Love Live Nijigasaki Parent Fic: Putting on Hairs - Post Production Time Frame: Shortly after the couple starts dating (early college?) Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Coffee

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Author’s Note: Primary entry for Oct 29th

Summary: Shizuku is late to meet Kasumi

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Shizuku sighed as she stared at her reflection.

She looked horrible. Well, more horrible than usual. Why did the effects of sleep deprivation seem to make her scars look worse?

She reached for her mask. Time to resume the masquerade.

As she shifted position, the reflection of her clock came into view.

Wait, was that the time? Drat! Kasumi-chan is going to be upset!

Shizuku hastily checked her mask and smeared some concealer under her eyes before hurrying out the door.

---------

“You’re late, Shizuko.” Kasumi huffed as she heard Shizuku approach.

“I’m sorry, I…” Shizuku cut off has her girlfriend’s expression changed to one of surprise and panic.

Suddenly, Kasumi grabbed Shizuku’s shoulders and shoved her behind a nearby tree.

“K-Kasumi-chan?”

“Your mask is crooked.” Kasumi hissed, glancing fervently to either side. “Like really crooked.”

“Eh?” Shizuku started to reach up, but was stopped by her girlfriend.

“I’ll get it.”

Shizuku swallowed down a protest. Nobody except her guardians and herself had ever touched her mask. Even when Shizuku had decided to show Kasumi her real face, to make sure, more for her own sake, that Kasumi knew who, and what, she was dating.

Thankfully, Kasumi had been fine with the reveal. Not even an eye twitch or other indication that she was trying to pretend not to be disgusted. Instead, she had offered a sympathetic smile and told Shizuku it didn’t change the girl she had fallen for.

But, this was different somehow…

Shizuku couldn’t help a small gasp as Kasumi deftly removed her mask, shifted it slightly, and slipped it back on.

“There.” Kasumi said as she stood back. “That’s a lot better.”

“Th… Thank you…” Shizuku could feel her cheeks burning.

“Although I suppose Kasumin should probably fix Shizuko’s horrible makeup too.” Kasumi dug through her purse and produced a compact. “Did you stay up too late again working on your play again?” She asked, leaning back in.

“… Yes…” Shizuku admitted reluctantly.

“Geez, Shizuko. Weren’t you the one scolding Makiko for overworking herself the other day?”

“… Yes…”

“Well Shizuku needs to take better care of herself too. Improper sleep is bad for… Wait, is it bad for your physical body’s skin?”

“Probably. My guardians did say it behaves essentially like a normal human body.”

“Except normal humans can’t dismiss their bodies to… wherever Shizuko dismisses hers.”

“True…”

“Well, if it’s essentially like that, then Shizuko needs to essentially take care of it like that. And if Shizuko is gonna insist on being useless in doing so herself, then Kasumin may just have to start staying at her place to watch over her.”

“Alr… wait, what?”

Kasumi giggled. “Shizuko~ wa~nted to agree~.” She practically sang. “Anyway, we’re done here, so let’s go get Shizuko some caffeine.” She tilted her head. “Can ghosts drink coffee? I can’t remember seeing Shizuko doing so.”

Shizuku chuckled. “Yes, caffeine works just fine with me, except I prefer tea.”

“Fine, but you’re getting Kasumin a mocha latte with extra whip and caramel drizzle.”

“Why am I buying?”

“Kasumin just saved Shizuko from embarrassment, so to repay her, Shizuko should buy her something as sweet as Kasumin is.”

Shizuku tried to hold back a laugh, was unsuccessful, almost snorted, and finally decided to just let it out.

“Alright, fine.” Shizuku agreed after a moment.

Kasumi grinned, grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and led them to the coffee shop.

---------

Author’s Note Continued: This was a fun one to write. I don’t think I’ve written motherly Kasumi before, so I tapped a bit into motherly/big sisterly Nico for it.

My original idea for this prompt was to be the morning immediately after Relationship Goals?, but I wasn’t sure I could fit what I wanted for that part of this couple’s story into 4k characters. Perhaps I’ll write that someday soon.

#ShizuKasu #Osaka Shizuku #Nakasu Kasumi #Putting on Hairs #Love Live Nijigasaki #Promptober 2022 #fanfic

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summerafterhighschool · 12 days

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some posts say to stay up all night. some posts say to get 7 hours of sleep. which one should I listen to?

even chatgpt advises getting the needed amount of sleep. but what if it was programmed to answer like that? is sleep deprivation really a need to achieve all your goals? why do people find it aesthetic? what is this obsession with mental issues, by the way? everyone out there is going insane over working on their dreams at night. is it bc of the common topic of the tranquility of nighttime? is it possible to live during the night? my life is not defined yet. not at all. possibly, it'll never be. should I really give this life meaning? will there be salvation from knowing? everything here may be just an algorithm and its consequences. is it really? why are we so sure? does somebody know the truth? what is truth? night seems to be the time for me. for this body and obscure mind. but there's no mind, there's no soul. so many things to go over. what should I focus on now? not even got can tell me that. summertime is near. hopefully, I will catch a break and have time to think about it. is there a definite answer? when should I sleep properly and when should I stay up late? I know people can achieve their goals while getting efficient sleep. is it true, tho? but people are not me. they are not me. we are not even sharing the same bodies. we may be sharing the same evolution process tho. people's goals are different from mine. there might be some people who have the same goals as me. what are their daily habits? do they dream big? what are my goals? it's as if I'm pursuing something that does not exist. I feel like a Christian knight who is fighting for their land and religion, but slowly losing faith in God. the products of the mind are flowing but are they there to tell me something. will I find the answer to my questions by the end of this post? should I stop and think?

people who stay up late sleep the same amount of time as people who maintain a healthy sleep schedule. so what's the point? what are the pros and cons? should I make decisions regarding the future? let's see.

if I go to sleep late: I get some alone time, and I get used to functioning with any amount of sleep // my social life will be ruined, my mornings will be hectic, and I won't be able to train properly

if I go to sleep on time: I have a routine to follow, chill mornings, no stress in assignments, and great form for training // no alone time, life on autopilot, complete system obedience, poor functions with lack of sleep

the second option seems more appealing. it has more contrast. it's not balanced at all. the benefits from the first option are nice and the disadvantages are manageable. the benefits of the second option are great. the disadvantages, on the other hand, are terrible.

my cognitive functions would benefit from the second option, but my overall well-being would drop to the pits of hell. I'm thinking of getting around 7 hours of night sleep until I get a job that requires working during the night (if I do so). in the long run, it's better to do this too. let's settle down with good sleep at least

final decision: 12pm - 7am

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mantacid · 2 months

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Long post inbound.

As a math tutor I often try to catch up with my student’s interests and hobbies. “What kind of things do you do?” I will ask. “Are there any ‘pet projects’ you’re passionate about right now?”

The answers are usually the same: most kids play online games with friends, do homework, play some sport maybe, or more commonly can’t really think of any particular hobby they have. Some have unique hobbies, like collecting car key fobs from eBay, or learning game development. But the majority of answers I get are generic in nature.

I don’t bring this up with the intent to criticize the lack of any of these creative endeavors in younger children. With the amount of responses I’ve received that fit the previous description, I am fully aware that either allistics just… don’t share their passions in casual conversation as much, or that it is my level of passion that is abnormal.

Regardless of which of the aforementioned causes is true, it got me thinking about the sheer number of projects I take on, and the amount of time I dedicate to them. And I came to the conclusion that this phenomenon may have to do with my ADHD.

When a kid with ADHD either forgets to do something or can’t muster the executive functioning to do it, they’re usually punished in some way. This punishment, if it doesn’t come from their parents or teachers or peers or societal expectations, will come from the anxiety and panic that results from suddenly remembering the thing that was supposed to be done three days ago, or perhaps from their frustration of knowing they didn’t do it without knowing why.

Over time, the brain learns these patterns, and associates being relaxed and idle with a nagging feeling of “I’m forgetting something”, or “I’m supposed to be doing something right now.” The brain does this as a defense mechanism, attempting to proactively prevent the kind of anxiety and punishment that has historically been the result of such idleness.

In other words, your brain learns that — when you’re being idle or “lazy” — it’s an indicator that some task has been forgotten.

The result of this learned pattern? An adult who will never have a “lazy day-off” of their own volition. Not when they’re sick, or injured, or sleep-deprived, or in great need of a break. Because the ADHD brain has learned the erroneous pattern that being relaxed means you’re forgetting something.

And when the camel’s back finally breaks, and the body forces you to take a day off, you never enjoy it fully. There’s always that nagging of “you could/should be doing something productive right now.”

It took me awhile to unlearn that pattern.It still comes back sometimes. It’s easy to know on a surface level that you don’t need to prove your productivity by denying your body the rest it needs; it’s harder to internalize and act upon that knowledge.

I want to know whether anyone else can relate to this; I think I may be onto something here.

#adhd #projects #neurodivergent #poll #long post

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steveharrington01 · 2 years

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Concern As Well As Hope: The Beating Heart Of Great CBD Firms

Certain, all terrific CBD business do the ordinary points well - SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, e-mail marketing, advertising and marketing, social networks, etc. Extra notably, what do they do to increase above the advertising and marketing battle royal? Once you begin excavating into them, below's what you'll find: Their leaders all use empathy on their sleeves. They promise to the hopeless.

CBD Guest Post

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Marijuana, Hemp, CBD Oil: What’s Legal and Where

Delight Smith's personal CBD story communicates her empathy for others. It likewise promises to individuals who may or else have none. These underlying feelings are extremely powerful vehicle drivers behind all supplement advertising, especially CBD. A minimum of, they ought to be. HOW TO MAKE IT OCCUR Pleasure Organics is just one of a handful of CBD business leading the way with concern as well as hope. Each and every single one of them has carried out that theme throughout every one of their advertising materials. While the details of each firm's techniques differ somewhat, three aspects stick out. 1) Produce emotion-based materials in created and also in video clip styles. Make empathy as well as really hope the theme of all web content you produced: website, touchdown pages, e-mail collection, social media sites articles - everything. Focus on the company's beginning tale if it fits the bill. Or else gather tales from delighted consumers who reveal the same underlying feelings of empathy and also hope. Use such user-generated content is a continual resource of stories for motivating others about your brand name. 2) Use the power of associates. Associate advertising and marketing supplies the possibility for recruiting as well as training other individuals for communicating persuasive emotions behind your brand to a broader network. Layout the associate selection procedure to draw in individuals whose tales straighten with your company's criteria for helping others. Great associate programs with good, non-expiring commissions are a superabundant. Selecting the appropriate associates to match company's compassion for others is the difference-maker. 3) Influencer marketing. AdWeek called CBD advertising as, "... one of the most challenging brand name obstacle of our time." The jumble of regulations and also outright marketing bans will certainly keep it in this way for a long time. That's where influencers concern the rescue. Without a doubt, they've been absolutely critical for the enormous boom in the whole cannabis market. Exactly how? First, influencers are currently trusted by their fans. Second, they can prevent limited advertising and marketing limitations. Ultimately, they're natural-born writers. What sort of stories? Stories full of concern as well as hope. In other words, tales mimicing the founders and leaders of the firm, yet to a larger network. SUGGESTIONS

CBD vs. THC: What’s the Difference? Developing an effective on the internet visibility depends upon a massive quantity of composed product. This suggests the kind of creating that gets individuals's interest as well as leads them to acquire your items. It's greater than just regular informative writing. It's influential writing. That's the core of great copywriting. That's where I come in I'm a knowledgeable copywriter in the alternate health niche. As a bonus, I'm additionally a study researcher with special proficiency in plant natural products chemistry. Although I might be biased, I believe this is a pretty good mix for understanding as well as covering CBD. If you concur, and wish to talk concerning how I may be able to assist your CBD advertising and marketing, give me a shriek.

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emptysighshasissues · 2 years

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Why is it that someone who wasn't even trying to get pregnant gets pregnant and then post a pregnancy announcement ranting and raving about it was God's will? Why is it that people who don't give a shit about their well-being or their unborn child's well-being come in a store I work at, talking to me about how they need to quit smoking cigarettes and weed, but they like the feeling too much and they don't want to quit, acting as if it's inconveniencing them? Like it's not for the health and safety of the baby it looks like they're about to have anytime now? Why is it that I am severely mentally ill, off my medication, do everything absolutely to a T of what my doctor orders me, have been trying for over a fucking year to have a child of my own, can't get pregnant? If this shit is god's will then why didn't they have to try? If it's God's fucking will, why did he put an opportunity to have a child into someone who doesn't give two shits? If it's God's will then why do I, someone who has money, has a stable loving home, takes care of themselves, and wants a child with an absolute fierce passion that I would do anything at this point, am unable to get pregnant despite having healthy gynecological visits and no signs of any issues whatsoever?

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm on my period or I'm severely sleep deprived, but I'm so fucking mentally exhausted and beyond tired. I've never wanted something so badly in my life than this and it just hasn't happened. May not happen. May not be meant to be.

That breaks me down every damn day. Every time I sell a fucking nicotine product to someone heavily pregnant. Every time I see someone with a baby. Every time I have a nightmare and I am forced to remember the shit my own mother did that ruined me.

I've never wanted anything as bad in my life than this, and yet, I'm forced to see people announce their babies on Facebook, watch their gender reveals, etc, and I'm at home with a man who has made no life changes despite knowing how bad I want this, and five cats that I've smothered with the need to mother something.

FUCK

#im going through some shit #im not even gonna tag this to where people can find it #fuck it #kayla vents #im not mentally well

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scripttorture · 3 years

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My setting is like the real world but with various mythical otherworlds secretly connected to ours. One character with powers of psychic illusion was raised by an MiB-style intelligence and/or secret police force (tasked with keeping otherworldly beings from causing trouble in our world) that trained her to mentally torture people. I want to make this character somewhat sympathetic, so it is plausible for her to be indoctrinated as a torturer from childhood? Does it depend how young they start?

Anon I don’t think this is a good idea. There’s an awful lot to unpack here about why that is so I’m going to start off with a simple question that effects how you move forward: what’s most important for you about this character?

Is it that she’s sympathetic? That she’s effective at her job? That she’s highly skilled and trained? That she’s part of a productive organisation that can actually do the tasks it sets out to?

Because if she’s a torturer then realistically she would be none of those things. And making her any of them is (in my opinion) torture apologia: because it is portraying a torturer in an extremely unrealistic way that favours the torturer and excuses the abuse they carry out.

You would, literally, be repeating lies popularised by real life torturers.

Torture does not work. It is impossible to get accurate, timely information by using torture. Here’s an introduction to why. Here’s a post on what torture does to investigations. Here’s a guide to writing what torture does to interrogations. Here’s a list of investigative strategies that actually work. Here’s a post on the damage torture does to human memory. Please read these masterposts and take a look at my sources as well.

Torturers are not indoctrinated radicals. The organisations that torturers are part of actively try to screen out anything they see as radical, deviant or a product of illness. There aren’t enough studies on torturers for me to give you a break down of their politics but my impression from the anecdotes and interviews I’ve read? Their politics is ‘normal’ and mainstream for the organisation they are part of. Whatever that organisation is.

Torturers are not taught from a young age because torture is not complex. It does not take months to learn how to hit someone. Torturers learn on the job by assisting other torturers.

Torture is simple. It is functionally easy. I really can’t stress that enough. The most common tortures globally right now are: hitting people, depriving them of food and depriving them of sleep. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that six year olds could come up with that list.

Hurting people is not complicated. It requires no skill and no training.

The evidence we have suggests torturers lose skills as they turn to torture, a process Rejali calls ‘de-skilling’. The basic idea is pretty simple: if you spend all day hitting people instead of practicing what you were trained for (gathering evidence for example) you get so out of practice that you start to forget how to do those things.

And then there’s the effect that torture has on torturers. They get symptoms. They develop lasting, serious, mental health problems which directly effect their ability to do their jobs.

I have a list of the common symptoms here as well as a rough guide for how many symptoms you should be considering for torturers and torture survivors.

Separate to the symptoms is the general pattern of behaviour torturers exhibit. We don’t have a lot of high quality studies on torturers and there are a lot of questions we do not have clear answers to. However the studies and the anecdotal evidence of survivors, witnesses and torturers themselves points to some consistent behaviours.

Torturers don’t work alone. They form little sub-cultures within larger organisations. These groups are incredibly aggressive, competitive, self-important, hyper-masculine and violent. Torturers look down on everybody else. They are convinced that they are the most important people in their organisation, the only one’s doing ‘real work’. They have an arrogant, puffed up pride that combines with mental illness and seeing their colleagues as competition to create the worst asshole you’ve ever had the misfortune of working with.

They do not cooperate with other people. They use abuse as a pissing contest, competing to see who can be the most brutal in order to try and ‘impress’ fellow torturers.

They define strength and group loyalty by hurting other people.

They have a fracturing effect on organisations, because they don’t obey orders and see their colleagues as competition or useless. At the low end of the scale this means cliques, secrets from the larger organisation and a terrible working environment as they bully and belittle their colleagues. At the high end of the scale there are cases where torturers have attacked and murdered people within the same organisation.

Does any of that sound sympathetic?

I like a challenge when I write. I’ve described my writing style as ‘hold my beer’ because I tend to take ideas other people dismiss as impossible to pull off and try my best to make them work. I do this because I love exploring human complexity through fiction.

A torturer who is currently torturing is not a sympathetic person. They are a bullying, violent, arrogant brute who contributes nothing useful to the organisation they latch on to, sucking up time and resources like a tick. They see other people as garbage. And they lack insight into their own crimes. Which means they do not appreciate or acknowledge the pain and damage they cause.

Now I have written a character who is an ex-torturer who I think is sympathetic in some ways. But getting to the point where they could be sympathetic meant them having to leave the organisation they were part of on a stretcher.

Their fellow torturers turned on them. They lost a leg. They changed sides and in the middle of a messy civil war they dedicated themselves to keeping their friend’s children safe.

And I had to set the story twenty years after these events to get that character out of their own ass enough for them to be sympathetic.

Even then, I’d say they’re sympathetic in spite of having been a torturer. Because they’re still clinging to that insistence that they did something meaningful. They still can’t accept the extent of their own crimes or the effects those crimes had.

But their pride broke. And they did keep those children alive. They helped raise them. And the tie to those children is what makes them sympathetic by the time of the story.

Torturers are not sympathetic people. They are self absorbed abusers who bend over backwards to downplay the harm they did to their victims and to justify their crimes.

Is that really what you want to write?

I say that, not to be harsh, but because it sounds to me as though what you actually want to write is a genuine investigator with psychic powers.

It sounds as though you want to write a character who is good at her job. Who is skilled and dedicated and a great person to work with.

If that’s the case my advice is to ditch the torture entirely. Look at the masterpost on genuine investigation instead and write a character who is good at interviewing people.

Have her use her psychic powers to present herself as sympathetic to the criminals she’s interviewing. Because she can walk into a room and know their politics, their religious beliefs, their internal justifications for what they’ve done. And she can use that, may be even manipulatively, to seem like someone the prisoner would like, someone they’d agree with.

That gets people talking.

And if you want to show her as ruthless, as having an edge to her, that can still work.

Imagine someone sitting down across from a suspect, holding their hands, smiling, talking to them gently. Imagine them gradually, kindly, getting this suspect’s life story. Imagine them being sympathetic about the reason the suspect murdered someone, validating the murder’s feelings and may be even actions… Right up until they have the information they need.

Then they turn on a dime. The persona drops, the false-sympathy drains away. They stand up with a sneer and say they hope the murderer never sees the light of day again. And walk out.

Think about what you want from the story Anon. A character who tortures, or a character who is competent, smart and sympathetic.

Because it really is one or the other.

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw police brutality #fantasy ask #torture does not work #torture apologia #torture as interrogation #effective interrogation #effective investigation #effect of torture on torturers #writing torturers #behaviour of torturers #effect of torture on organisations #torturers are not omniscient #ways torture fails

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mha-adore · 3 years

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General HCs: Students

Excluding Dekusquad and Bakusquad I have everyone else here, I hope you like it ☺

Tokoyami (+Dark Shadow)

* He's really trying to be a harbinger of truth and exposer of deciet. He's a dork. He's just trying to impress you.

* He's so stupidly into music and has like seven playlists he's made for you. Please listen to them he worked hard. He's really shy about his music tastes.

* Dark Shadow teases him relentlessly. You're walking near him? Tokoyami mysteriously trips into your open arms. You need help reaching something on a high shelf? Shadow birb got you covered. His only goal is to make you notice how flustered he is with you.

* He's insecure about being part avian. Most people aren't really attracted to birds, right? Honestly he could look like anything, it doesn't matter. He's a little angsty but kind hearted and pays close attention to you.

Jiro

* She's written like fifteen songs for you and you've heard none of them. They're top secret hidden in her locked diary. If you ask her very nicely and promise not to judge she'll play some for you.

* Expect a lot of punk and metal gifts from her. Her entire existence is punk and metal please lift her up. She is so shy about it.

* Totally the flustered gf. Borrows your clothes without asking and denies it only to approach you in front of everyone else and be like "oh hey here's your shirt back btw" and leave like it was nothing but she is screaming inside.

* Honestly just share a closet with her you two would trade clothes so often you'd need to stitch your names into the tags to keep track. Share the same perfume/cologne too while you're at it. Did you use the same fragrance or did you snuggle together for an hour? No one else knows.

Momo

* She knows other people are after her either for her physique, her family wealth or both and as such, is distrustful at first. She doesn't want to fall for someone only to learn they're using her. Give her space to get comfortable with who you are.

* That said when she knows it's genuine feelings she spoils you rotten. Designer clothes, expensive jewelry, a custom hero costume etc. Her wallet is yours for the taking. Please don't fuck her over.

* Because her family is well known both as elites and heroes she has a reputation to keep up. She insists that you go with her dressed well and looking great so she can show you off with style.

* She is actually very soft hearted and needs some soft love sometimes. Just sit with her under a blanket she made and watch a romcom. Don't judge her for binge eating, she needs to eat well to support her quirk. If anyone makes fun of her kick their ass into the stratosphere.

Aoyama

* He simply will not stop sparkling and neither shall you. He shares his skin care, hair care and multi vitamins with you. You're both glowing, literally.

* He can be spontaneous and over the top in everything he does. He likes to show off and catch stares. He wants to catch your stare. If you gaze longingly at him he'll act suave while squealing with glee inside.

* He spends his money frivolously. He buys expensive care products, jewelry, clothes, stuffed animals...Did I mention it's all for you? He's penniless for you and doesn't mind that at all.

* He craves your attention so much. Spend some time alone with him and just look at him. In public keep your eyes locked on him. His ego will go through the roof, in the best way.

Monoma

* He is so fucking full of himself. Until you're around. He's usually narcissistic and up his own ass but when you walk by he's suddenly humble, kind and friendly. It's just him wanting you to see his good side.

* Sweet hearted asshole wants to feel loved. Just be kind to him. Help him with his homework. Spend free time with him. Help him show up 1-A. He'll love it.

* Totally uses you as a reason 1-B is better than 1-A. "Sure you guys fought villains and all but you don't have anyone even vaguely as attractive as my beloved!" Just let him have his fun in the sun.

* His hero costume is over the top for a reason. He wants to be the prince to sweep you off your feet, kiss you and ride off on a horse. He has the attire covered. Next, your love.

Hitoshi

* Above anything please just be accepting of his quirk. Don't ask him to use it for anything unnecessary or say anything bad about it. He's been ridiculed his entire life for his "villainous quirk", please be kind.

* Nap with him dammit. He's sleeping deprived because he pours all day and night into becoming good enough for 1-A. He wants to be a real hero and he values that over sleep. Cuddle with him at night and he'll sleep like a happy rock.

* You must love cats, end of discussion. His backpack is cat shaped, his phone case is a cat, his spirit animal is a cat, he may as well be a cat. He'd be over the moon if you compares him to a Maine Coon.

* When he does get into 1-A please be happy for him. He worked so hard for it, show your support. Even if you're in different classes you can see each other during lunchbreaks and after school.

Mirio

* He is sunshine. He is warmth. He adopts introverts. It's our man. His hugs are like butterfly kisses if they could crush you.

* He's the type to be really into you and still treat you like a friend. He can't get with someone unless he knows them very well beforehand.

* Though he's friendly and out reaching to others he's still a private person who shares little about his personal life. He needs to learn about you first. Being open yourself will encourage him to start chatting about himself.

* He loves romantic songs. He isn't one for Spotify, playlists or the such but if he hears a song that makes him think of you he's texting you the link immediately. He gets so caught up texting you that he stops listening to others and is in his own little world.

Tamaki

* He is just....So shy. So baby. He really wants to be a strong hero and save the people he loves but he is so shy. Don't pressure him into anything, he just needs someone who will let him be himself.

* That said, he has no experience in love. He's had crushes over the years but nothing meaningful enough to mention. Until you came along and took his heart for a stroll. Now you're all he thinks about. Is your hand warm? Do you like to kiss cheeks? What's your favorite flavor Pop Tart?

* When he manages to confess to you (not if, when) it'll be something cheesy but sweet. Like on Valentine's Day he'll leave a heartfelt card on your desk with his signature and a flower. He's a simple man.

* His feelings are so sensitive please never yell at him, not even out of excitement. He's scared of upsetting the people he cares about and wouldn't dream of upsetting you, his little mochi ice cream. Yes all his pet names for you are based on food.

Nejire

* She's the personification of a flower crown. With thorns. Very soft, sweet and pleasing to the eyes but very capable of defending herself. She is not a sex object and beats the ass of anyone who says so about herself or you.

* I personally headcanon her as asexual but that's my idea on it. You can see it however you like. Either way she's very romantic and loves cute gestures like 3 foot tall teddy bears and hand sewn clothes.

* Imagine this: at the beauty pageant, she wears a dress you sewed for her yourself and, alongside her natural beauty and talent, wins the pageant. She would have just been proud to show everyone your skills but she won wearing that dress, you can bet she's telling everyone you made it.

* She treats Eri like a daughter and hopes you'll do the same with her. Call it a little childish but she loves the idea of playing house with you. Married in a little happy home caring for Eri together.

I think that's everyone I need to add for now. If you want to see someone else in this let me know! My next two posts will be this same format for pros and villains. If you have any headcanons to share or a request my inbox is open

#mha x reader #tokoyami #tokoyami x reader #jiro kyoka #jiro x reader #momo yaoyorozu #momo x reader #aoyama yūga #aoyama x reader #monoma neito #monoma x reader #mirio togata #mirio x reader #tamaki amakiji #tamaki x reader #nejire hado #nejire x reader

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