#chronic illness reader
Text
A Cinematic Lover: Chapter 2
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f reader
Word count: 5K
Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI (no smut in this chapter), just fluffy stuff I guess?
(Reader doesn't have any physical descriptions or implied characteristics but does have chronic illnesses and is explicitly diagnosed as having endometriosis, fibroids and vaginismus, which will be mentioned in more detail in further chapters).
Summary: Dieter Bravo is a fan of a screenwriter and may have a small crush on her. He seizes the opportunity to finally work with her on her latest project but is this more than a crush?
*********
You and Sati were in the backseat of the Uber, you pulled your phone out absentmindedly checking your notifications as Sati applied lip balm then turned to smirk at you.
“Did you notice?” She questioned, you hummed in response, not looking up. “Dieter.” That caught your attention, making you look up from your phone to tilt your head at her.
“We had an almost 3-hour-long meeting with him. Yes, I did notice him. A few times actually.” You said it in a deadpan delivery that normally would make Sati break.
“You do know that’s not what I meant right?” She breathed out while playfully rolling her eyes, you looked at her blankly, with a slowly growing confused expression on your face, waiting for her to continue. “Well, he was super engaged in the conversation, he listened, especially with you and he was sober.”
“Like you said, he was sober. Maybe, he just isn’t a morning person when he’s not working, or he was feeling dusty from the night before when you first met. Could be both or something happened and he was distant?” It all seemed relatively reasonable and possible to you.
“Maybe he turned up sober because of a certain someone.” Sati scoffed out, waiting for your response. You furrowed your brow as you studied her. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” You quickly responded.
“I’m trying to say-”
“What it sounds like you’re trying to insinuate is nonsensical.” You remarked cutting Sati off as you held her gaze, Sati raised an eyebrow at you. You tended to be the more easygoing of the two of you in stubbornness so she was kind of surprised but smiled. You’d started to fidget with the corner of your coat and Sati quickly noticed, she wasn’t sure if it was because maybe you had noticed Dieter’s behaviour that contradicted his reputation and Sati’s earlier experience or if the conversation was just generally making you uncomfortable.
She flashed you an award-winning smile as she decided to drop it for the time being regardless of what the case was. She started talking to you about a podcast she’d started listening to, you put your phone away and gave her your full attention. The vibe was noticeably less awkward, with a lack of fidgeting from you for the rest of the ride.
*******
Dieter was sitting on a chair on the balcony of his hotel room. He was on the phone with Abby, who was initially severely concerned when seeing his name on her phone’s screen. Dieter was not a morning person, a call on Saturday morning was worth a panic. Abby was preparing herself for the next Dieter Bravo scandal or a potentially unhinged drunken request.
“What’s wrong Dieter?” Abby immediately asked as she placed the phone to her ear and used her free hand to press at the pressure points by her temple for some relief.
“Nothing Abby I-” Dieter started to tease at her implications.
“It’s unlike you to be calling, or even up at this time on the weekend when you’re not working.”
“Well, I had that meeting yesterday that you set up-”
“How’d it go?” Abby cut in, worried that maybe he’d said or done something that would require her intervention.
“Good. I think I made a better impression with Sati this time…” Dieter said, he’d received a scolding from Abby over his attitude at their initial meeting and how childish and rude his behaviour was. He knew she was right and he felt genuinely bad over it.
“And with Mrs Bravo?” Abby asked teasingly. Dieter immediately blushed, the pinkish hue colouring his usually golden cheeks and ears.
“That’s not her name-”
“No, it’s not. But your crush is pretty obvious.” Abby chuckled.
“Ugh, don’t say that Ab.” Dieter groaned out as he rubbed his face. “But is it really…?”
“Yes, Dee,” Abby said warmly but firmly. “So, how did it go with her?”
“It went really well, she’s uh, well lovely…” Dieter smiled at the thought of you. “She’s clever, I like her sense of humour, a nice smile. She’s a bit shy, warmer than I expected.”
“Not all gloom and doom? That show you raved about was great but depressing.”
“Nope.” Dieter replied, “She actually is starting a couple more scripts after this. I’m interested.”
“Just in the scripts Dieter?”
“I need a favour,” Dieter stated in a firm but shaky tone, ignoring the insinuation in Abby’s question.
“What is it?” Abby asked, curious about the tone shift in Dieter.
“I didn’t get her number…” Dieter paused before he continued, “You’d be able to get it from her agent or something right?”
“You can’t wait till the next meeting or production?” Abby questioned with a smirk on her face, Dieter could hear the smirk in her voice.
“Come on Abby, I have questions about the script.” Dieter reasoned which made Abby laugh.
“Fine. I’ll get on the phone now and get back to you, no promises though Dee.”
“Yes ma’am, thank you,” Dieter said playfully but gratefully.
“Be careful though Dee, you don’t want to screw something like this up right before production or when trying to go for those future projects of hers,” Abby stated.
“Abby, I’ve never had more genuine intentions, I swear,” Dieter assured her with a small blush.
********
You’d felt a bit weird about the conversation Sati had raised with you last night but had had a night regardless. You did wonder though and it did make you feel confused, he was chatty with you. But surely that all wasn’t from attraction? He was an actor, and his job was to have rizz and make himself likeable to people, you were just an in-person audience. Yes, you did find him attractive but who didn’t?
It wasn’t worth being confused over, you decided, especially when filming was almost a month away and then you would be on set for most of the production. It would either get too murky, messy, and embarrassing which all seemed very likely to you no matter what was going on. You could see yourself being friends with Dieter and having a good working relationship and you were more than happy with that.
You made your way around your apartment with a watering can, now making your way to the large monstera that you affectionately referred to as Munster. Then you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket, it was your agent, Misty, it was unusual for her to be calling on a weekend morning, so you quickly answered.
“Is everything okay Misty?” You immediately asked.
“Uh yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you panic.” She responded aware of how odd this all was. “My inbox has been going off all morning from Abby Martinez.” You blinked, trying to pinpoint the name, you’d never heard it before.
“Who is that?”
“Dieter Bravo’s agent.” Misty answered, you felt your eyebrows raise in confusion and almost panic. “They’re wondering if they can have your number, for some more discussions regarding the project, apparently. Yet Abby implied it was a personal number they wanted.” Misty didn’t quite believe it. It clearly wasn’t an urgent Saturday morning matter and if there were issues, it made more sense to go through either Sati or Blumhouse if necessary. “I just wanted to check in with you first, I wouldn’t give it out without your permission.” You appreciated that about Misty, she was perfectly genuine which was part of why she was so amazing at her job.
“Uh, yeah, that’s okay.” You answered as you set down the watering can and rubbed your forehead. “It’s a bit odd though right?”
“It didn’t come across as anything urgent for a Sunday morning. So yes.” Misty replied. Misty was genuine and a fan of facts, she was good with those.
You nodded your head despite knowing she couldn’t see that, “Thank you though Misty. I really appreciate you checking first.” You sincerely stated.
“Of course, well I’ll let her know. Good luck.” She said and the call ended as quickly as it started.
Placing your phone back in your pocket you picked up the watering can and watered Munster humming to yourself somewhat anxiously. You wondered why Dieter Bravo wanted your number, was he into you? It seemed like an odd way to ask for somebody’s number you thought, so it couldn’t be that. It must solely be for business, or maybe it was friendly? You’d thought about Dieter Bravo far too much today already and it wasn’t even 9 AM.
After putting your watering can away you went over to sit on your sofa with Phoebe, your rescue greyhound, coming over for a cuddle. You smiled at her and rubbed that spot in between her ears that she loved. “You’re such a good girl.” You said smiling at her. Your moment with Phoebe was interrupted as your phone started to vibrate in your pocket, you kept one hand affectionately patting her while the other answered the phone. It was a private number but you already knew who it was. It can’t have been more than 10 minutes since Misty called you.
“Hello?” You answered softly.
“H-uh, hey!” Dieter said, his voice was warm but he still had evident nerves.
“Hey.”
“It’s Dieter.”
“I know.” You said softly with a small laugh, which got a soft chuckle from him as well.
“How are you?” You can’t see it but Dieter has the phone on speaker and is anxiously fidgeting with the rings on his fingers while trying to make conversation. He felt like a teenager working up the nerve to ask out their first serious crush.
“I’m good, thanks,” You reply then add on. “How are you? Are you okay? Misty said there was something to talk about…?” Dieter sighed and let out a small but still audible groan. You were worried and just being civil because you’re nice. Nice to everyone, not just him.
“Uh yeah, sorry about that. It’s nothing serious.” Dieter scratched his head and you let out an exhale of relief at that.
“Oh okay great, I was worried that there was something wrong with the script or you wanted to drop…” He laughed and replied softly that that wasn’t the case, you were quickly and easily reassured. “So, what’s up Mr. Bravo?” Your tone was a lot more relaxed now and softer, Dieter liked it. It reminded him of honey. It wasn’t just your presence but even your voice, he was beginning to feel like a cat sprawling out in that perfect little patch of sunlight on a nice day, absolutely bathing in it.
“I was wondering if you wanted to- well if you were free today?” He blurted out and then rolled his eyes at how awkward he was being, he was normally so nonchalant. “Well to hang out, talk a bit more about the script maybe-”
“I’m actually about to head out soon.” You quickly replied.
“Oh-” The disappointment in his voice was loud and clear.
“Do you like dogs?” You blurted out. You could hear the disappointment in his voice, it was almost flattering but you couldn’t let yourself read too much into that, it was silly and unprofessional. Part of you wanted to respond to that but your brain was already running.
“Uh, yeah, I do…” Dieter answered confusingly.
“I need to go to the bookstore and take my dog Phoebe for a walk if you wanted to tag along?” You chewed your lip and then continued. “She’s really sweet.”
“That actually sounds really nice.” He genuinely meant that and Dieter felt himself relax at this, it was so nice and casual.
“Cool, I’ll text you the store and meet you there in an hour?”
“Sounds great.”
“Okay cool. See you soon.” You ended the call and Dieter felt himself blush. This was friendly and he was happy about that. There was something so casual, so normal, so perfect about going to a bookshop and taking a dog for a walk. Were these the kind of domestic things he’d indulge in with a life with you? He quickly thought it wouldn’t technically be indulging as it would become the routine, the norm of a life with you but that still felt pretty divine to him. He told himself off, he’d met you once he couldn’t let himself go down this rabbit hole with you.
Dieter loved dogs but he hadn’t lived a lifestyle that was necessarily dog-friendly and he’d barely been in a position to take care of himself, let alone another creature even with the assistance of staff. But sober Dieter was doing better and sober Dieter loved the idea of meeting your dog and possibly making an actual dog friend. He wondered what kind of dog you had, you didn’t strike him as the type to have something like a poodle but you didn’t seem like somebody with a big dog. He was curious about the insight into you something like this would have.
Dieter Bravo was starting to get too into his head.
*********
You were walking towards the bookshop, with Phoebe when you saw Dieter standing near the large window of the store, fidgeting his hands. When he saw you he started to walk over. You tilted your head to look at Dieter and gave him a big smile which he couldn’t help but immediately return. Seeing you and that smile of yours, directed at him immediately put his nerves to rest.
He couldn’t help but think how cute you looked, in dark-washed jeans, a t-shirt with the Bride of Frankenstein poster and an eggplant purple jacket. It was more casual than your outfit yesterday but it was still put together and filled with character, Dieter’s personal style was extremely relaxed but he admired it. Dieter’s smile grew when he realised that his old purple cardigan almost matched your jacket.
Dieter looked down at the dog that was walking with you. It was a greyhound, he hadn’t been expecting that, he didn’t know too much about greyhounds but he felt like it somehow made sense and was a good reflection of you as an individual.
“Hey Dieter, this is Phoebe.” Your smile grew as you looked at Phoebe who was looking up at Dieter, she was generally a very chill dog.
“Hey, Phoebe.” Dieter warmly said as he knelt down to familiarise himself with the dog, he put his hand out for her to sniff which she did eagerly but still politely. She was a friendly dog and Dieter giggled a little as she licked his hand, you felt your cheeks heat up at that worried that that would put him off, Phoebe.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You quickly offered.
“Oh no, it’s fine!” Dieter said as he quickly moved his hand to pat her head Dieter quickly learned which spot she liked the most. He laughed again, quickly enchanted by the dog. “You’re right, she’s a great dog.”
“Well, she seems to think you’re pretty great too.” You offered with a small laugh, Dieter blushed at your words as he continued to pat her and Phoebe was stoked with the new friend she’d made.
“I’ll pat you again soon, Phoebe,” Dieter said looking into the dog’s eyes. “I’m a bit too old to be on the footpath like this.” Dieter chuckled, you put your free, leash-less hand out to offer him it he took it but he teased. “I’m not that old!”
“Sorry!” You looked at him and laughed as he stood up again, his hand lingered in yours for a moment, and you felt your cheeks heating up at that. Dieter smiled, looking down at your hands before his eyes fell down to his new well-behaved friend. He moved his hand out of yours and pushed it to nervously rub at the back of his neck.
“Do you leave her outside?” Dieter asked curiously, he knew he needed to say something but he was scared that if the conversation went off a safe topic like your dog he’d maybe blow it by laying his cards down on the table too easily.
“Oh no, they’re great here, they love seeing her. Phoebe’s on a first-name basis with the staff here.” You joked. “She’s always been pretty easy-going and chill, they adore her.” You watched Dieter as you spoke, he was watching Phoebe like she was the most interesting and sweetest thing in the world which she definitely was. But it still touched you and intrigued you.
“Are most greyhounds like that?” Dieter’s gaze flickered to you and it stayed there as he absent-mindedly scratched Phoebe’s head while standing in front of her. “I guess I just assumed they’d be super hyperactive with the racing and that.”
“Yeah, they’re pretty chill. Great apartment and napping dogs. We do a half an hour's walk each day, she very rarely wants to do more.” You smiled watching Phoebe as you and Dieter slowly walked back closer to the bookstore’s entrance.
“Huh, I never would’ve guessed that.” He thoughtfully answered, you nodded, it wasn’t something you’d have assumed before doing your research before adopting. “I have something embarrassing to tell you,” Dieter admitted.
“Oh?” You looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression as you raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah…” Dieter said as his blush grew on his tan cheeks. “I’d never heard of Violet Paget before yesterday, I googled her as soon as I got in the car.”
You smiled at him sweetly, touched that he’d take notice of such a detail and actually remember it. He tilted his head to look at your smile, it was genuine, sweet, not judgemental or amused which made his smile grow. It was quite a charming smile you thought to yourself.
“You didn’t need to do that,” You replied gently. “But don’t worry, a lot of people haven’t heard of her, unfortunately.”
“Do you think they’ll have anything of hers?” Dieter asked.
Your smile noticeably grew at his question and you paused for a brief second to look at him, your eyebrows twitched for a second and then you blinked. Dieter noticed it, you’d looked at him differently, he had a gut feeling that it was good but he wasn’t quite sure what the expression was or what it meant.
“Uh, her stuff is kind of like an endangered species of print.” Dieter watched you, absolutely enchanted by the way you spoke, it was like honey, sweet and soft, he felt like a fly that had flown into honey attracted by its sweetness but now caught. He didn’t mind that at all though. “They’re great here but finding her work will be a bit more of a mission in a physical store. You can borrow my copies if you like though?” You offered.
“Really? That would be great, thank you.” Dieter warmly responded. You nodded at him.
He stepped slightly in front of you so that he could hold the door open to the bookstore for you and Phoebe. You smiled at him as you said thanks, he then stepped inside alongside you and placed his hand on the small of your back for a moment as he pressed his sunglasses up to the top of his head.
Dieter had noticed a small dog-friendly sign by the door and it wasn’t long before one of the women that worked at the bookstore quickly came over to Phoebe, you weren’t kidding when you’d said that they were on a first-name basis with her. Dieter noted that you must be a regular here.
He stayed close to you as his eyes flicked around, Dieter did enjoy reading but he very rarely visited a bookstore. It was normally something that somebody on his team would sort out. You seemed happy and like you were in your element here, he followed you as you made your way to a certain section.
“Looking for something?” Dieter asked. You nodded and your brow furrowed slightly in concentration as you eyed the spines, Dieter noticed that it was plays you were searching.
“Medea.” You spoke softly as you gazed at the wall of plays, Dieter hummed briefly.
“I imagined you would’ve had it.” Dieter stated as he eyed you eying the books. You moved your gaze to meet his warm brown eyes.
“I do.” You replied with a small smirk than turned your focus back to the books.
“Oh?” You hummed in response. “Enlighten me on why you need another.”
“I need another copy for annotations, I don’t want my other copy to be stained with scribbles and nonsense.”
“Makes sense.” Dieter nodded, he placed one hand on the small of your back gently as he leaned over you and pulled a book off the shelf. You couldn’t help but watch him, surprised at the contact of his hand and at him leaning right in front of you. You studied the taut golden skin of his neck and your gaze travelled to his arms briefly. His cardigan was baggy but you could still see the muscles in his arms. You felt your cheeks heat up and quickly looked away as he pulled back.
“Here.” Dieter held the book up as he raised his eyebrows at you, he was holding a copy of Medea by Euripides.
“My hero.” You teased and he huffed a small laugh at that. “Thank you Dieter.”
“Of course. Anything else?” He queried as his eyes flitted around the rest of the store curiously, before landing on you again.
“That was all I came in for-”
“Do you want to look around?” Dieter asked.
Your smile had grown. You had expected your Saturday to be relatively quiet, you’d expected to go to the bookstore, take Phoebe for a walk, maybe indulge an iced drink but you had not expected that you’d be in a bookstore with Dieter Bravo. Book shopping with Dieter Bravo as he held your book for you was not on your bingo card for this year. But there was a shiny glint in his eyes that intrigued you, there was something about how his eyes looked around the bookstore.
Nobody had stopped him, except for the woman when they’d first come in but she’d stopped them for Phoebe and only to briefly say to call out if they needed help with anything. You wondered if he very rarely got that, if that was part of why he seemed out of place but still seemed to be at home in a place like this. Part of him looked curious.
“Sure, if you want.” You quickly offered, he nodded and you both walked around the store.
You found out that he was interested in reading, he’d like to be a voracious reader but he told you that he very rarely had the opportunity to come into stores himself. Dieter talked about how there’s something different about doing so than telling an assistant he’d like a copy of something or ordering something online when he wasn’t blessed with a lot of scrolling time. Which you agreed with, you thought bookstores and libraries were magical and you imagined if you were deprived of such experiences in the way he was that would be heightened for you.
He wanted recommendations which you easily gave, he quickly added them to the small but growing pile in his hand along with your copy of Medea, you saw Stephen Graham Jones’s latest horror novel My Heart Is a Chainsaw which you hadn’t had a chance to read yet. It was added to the pile as you quickly rambled to Dieter about the author, he added one of his earlier novels to the pile.
It was heartwarming how receptive Dieter was to your recommendations and thoughts, you didn’t think you’d ever felt so listened to in your life. You also liked that he seemed to grow more comfortable in your presence with each minute, he’d shared that he liked reading, he acknowledged as an important art form. You were quickly learning that he really did love art, especially visual media, you even begun to notice slight smudge marks on his hands. Was it charcoal?
You’d left the bookstore with Phoebe and Dieter was holding a tote bag of yours that had the collection of books you’d amassed together. You smiled bashfully, there was something so cute and heart warming about the sight of him holding your tote with books that you’d shopped for together. You bit your lip as you tried to push those thoughts down.
“Where to now boss?” Dieter asked with a smirk as he pushed his sunglasses back down.
“There’s a dog park just a few minutes away, a decent coffee place on the way. If you want?”
“Sounds good ma’am.” Dieter teased, you playfully rolled your eyes at that and the smirk on his face just grew. It showed off the cute dimple on his cheek and you titled your head to fully take him in. His profile was gorgeous.
He was still bashful at times but his confidence around you was growing and manifesting in slight teasing. He wasn’t cocky like you’d expect if you lived your life with your nose buried in page six but the confidence increase made him seem more like himself, more at home and you liked that.
You ordered an iced chai and Dieter ordered an iced espresso with again a ridiculous amount of caffeine, you raised your eyebrows at him again.
“What?”
“That’s like a lot of caffeine.” You responded.
“Yeah and yours has a whole lack of caffeine going on.” He dramatically shivered at the end of that as if it was the most horrifying notion in the world which made you laugh. Dieter was a big fan of caffeinated beverages but important to note, he was becoming a pretty big fan of your laugh and smile.
The three of you had made it to the dog park, it was pretty quiet so you were feeling pretty comfortable with Phoebe being here today although she was more interested in Dieter than anything else once you got to the park. You noticed a nice, quiet tree so you started to walk over to it.
“Are you too old to sit down here?” You questioned in one of your signature deadpan tones as you sat on the ground, close to the trunk of the tree. You quickly flashed Dieter a grin just to make sure he knew it was you playing as you referenced him calling himself older earlier in the day.
“Now I have to sit down here to prove my youth and hipness” Dieter scoffed as he sat down beside you. You giggled at his remark and he looked down at Phoebe as she settled onto Dieter’s lap.
“Phoebe!” You said, well aware many didn’t like dogs sitting on them.
“Seriously it’s fine.” Dieter said, smiling widely as he looked at the dog in his lap.
You playfully rolled your eyes at that but smiled at her. Your gaze moved up to watch Dieter as he continued to look at the dog with his full attention as he patted her and spoke to her softly. You couldn’t help it but your thoughts quickly went back to admiring his physique.
You tried to distract yourself from those thoughts but it didn’t help seeing him like this, him being so gentle and patient with Phoebe. Dieter looked at you and your gazes met for a moment. Well it looked like they met, you weren’t completely sure as he was wearing those dark sunglasses.
“You gave me a panic attack this morning.” You stated with a small laugh, leaning against the trunk of the tree as you took another sip of your drink.
“I did?” Dieter’s brow furrowed and his mouth twitched in concern for a moment as he continued to scratch behind Phoebe’s ears, now absentmindedly as you became the more visible focal point of his attention.
“Yeah, although it looks like you’re not going to storm off if there’s not several rewrites.” You answered with a small smile.
“I’m saving that for filming.” He quipped back dryly, trying to imitate the deadpan manner of yours he’d witnessed a few times now, it made you snort which cracked the deadpan expression of his into a large smile.
“Should I be grateful for getting to be victim to that when you were praised as a delight on Hunger Strikes?” You asked slightly cheekily, Dieter rolled his eyes playfully at that but of course you couldn’t see that. He was wearing his dark sunglasses.
“You watched that?”
“Of course, who hasn’t?” You replied with.
“I haven’t.”
“Wait what?” You questioned, shooting up to sit up properly from your more relaxed position against the tree. You looked at him with the most puzzled expression he’d seen on your face yet.
“I don’t watch anything I’m in.”
“Nothing?”
“Nope. Film it, move on…” You felt like he was going to say something else but he didn’t.
“That’s nuts.”
“Maybe this film will be the first.” He said it almost cheekily as he watched you.
“Don’t get my hopes up there Dieter.” You answered as you felt heat crawling up your neck at his words, the possible meaning, the potential interpretation of a compliment.
“Well I’ve enjoyed everything else you’ve done. I don’t think this will be anything different.”
“You flatter me but ditto, despite the fact that you’ve seen none of it.” You laughed softly.
“Cast me as your Jason and I’ll watch whatever you want with you.” Dieter said flashing you the charming smirk, he raised one of his eyebrows as if he was waiting for you to quip back but you took another sip of your drink in response.
Whatever this was, whatever his intentions were. As soon as he flashed that grin at you another time, you knew this was going to be difficult.
Taglist: @pedritosdarling @read4funz @undermoonlightwalk @daddy-din @cowboychickenlittle
#dieter bravo#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo fic#dieter bravo x reader#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo x female reader#dieter bravo x f!reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fandom#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#the bubble#the bubble fanfiction#chronic illness reader#endometriosis reader
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Just-Dreaming-Marvel’s Chronic Illness Masterlist
MAIN NAVIGATION
Chronic illnesses are defined broadly as conditions that last 1 year or more and require ongoing medical attention or limit activities of daily living or both.
As a person with multiple chronic illnesses, I have used writing as a way to cope with them. In posting them, I have realized that I am not alone. This masterlist is just for various chronic illness fics that I have written. Some of the conditions are my own and some are not.
Please be kind and considerate when reading them because everyone experiences illnesses differently. Just because it’s written in a way you don’t experience it, doesn’t mean it is wrong.
I hope you enjoy them and feel a little less alone.
Please reach out if you have any comments, concerns, questions, etc. I am always here for anyone who needs anything.
Invisible Pain / Part 2
Bad Flare Up
Breathe
My Superhero
Purple
Patella Alta
Bad Pain Day
Oblivious Pain
LESSONS IN LOVE (ongoing)
A Painful Secret
#tony stark x reader#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#stucky x reader#rdj!sherlock holmes x reader#obi wan kenobi x reader#Obi-wan Kenobi X Reader#marvel imagine#marvel imagines#star wars fanfiction#star wars imagine#star wars imagines#Star Wars x reader#ritchie holmes#ritchieverse#chronic illness reader#Sherlock Holmes x Reader#avengers x reader#the avengers x reader
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Hi, dear!
First of all, happy birthday again! 🥳 Hope you're having a great day 🤗
Second, for your birthday challenge, I chose the characters Reader and Dean Winchester, and prompts 25, 30 and 44.
Can't wait to read what you'll come up with 😁
❤
Thanks for the request! You’re the third one! Yay!
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Prompts:
25. Do you want me to stop?
30. If something were to happen to you… I don’t think I could take it
44. I might have slept with your robe while you were gone (Sorry!)
Magic dust
WC: ~3K
Warning: fluff. Smut. NSFW. 18+
Author Note: I chose to make them: Plus Size!F!Reader. I hope that is ok? Third one! Yay! I hope you like it. Tenses charged are an issue. Enjoy!
Author Note #2: I apologize. It’s supposed to be a drabble and went much longer. I wasn’t able to get the third one in but when I have more time, might see about doing a part 2. This was fun!
Y/N knew the brothers first by reputation then introduced by Bobby a few years back when she ran into a pair of lamias. The hunt ended well and Y/N enjoyed the craziness of the case with them as they did with her, so they have remained in contact since.
It had been months since Y/N and the Winchesters had hunted together. She had picked up a weird case in a typical suburban area that she couldn’t put her finger on, so she gave up after two weeks and called them for help.
They drove in and met at her hotel room. When they came up to the third floor and knocked, having seen your old Ford Escape was there, but Y/N didn’t answer. They exchanged a look between them and Dean pounded on the door as Sam called you. Still silent except for your ringtone coming from inside the room—one that Dean had recommended for their ringtone of Metallica he liked. Dean moved to the side and drew his gun as Sam backed up doing the same and then kicked the door in.
Y/N laid across the closest queen size bed to the door. A small open box fell on to the bed next to her. Dean ran up to and kept beside her to check her pulse, “She good.” Sam with his gun at the ready checked the small hotel room, “All clear.” He went and closed the door while Dean checked her out.
She was in a pale pink tank top and blue jeans tucked into calf-high black boots. Sam quickly searched in the closet and under the bed and drawers, “Dean.” A hex bag in his hand and anger began to cross his features. He opened and tore up the bag then trashed it.
Dean looked very confused at the bag then at Sam and motioned for him to look at her, “Y/N has pink stuff on her.”
Sam looked at him, “What?” He leaned over her and looked carefully, a fine pink powder dusted much of her face and neck. He saw a pen on the nightstand and took it using it like a stick to turn the box upright. “Whatever it is, it was in the box,” Sam stated.
Dean glanced at the box then back to Y/N. “Maybe after cleaning it off, she’ll wake up?” Dean questioned out loud and moved to the bathroom before Sam could reply to get a wet washcloth. He returned with a warm, wet washcloth and a dry one and started gently to wipe her face and neck off.
Y/N began to stir, her eyebrows slightly furrowed and with a quietly sleepy voice she said , “Stop” as she tried to move her face from the washcloth. She attempted to lift her hands but struggled. Dean smirked at her reaction thinking it was cute. “You got whammied, Y/N.” He said as he wiped where he had removed the powder with the dry washcloth. Her eyes fluttered for a few seconds. When she finally opened her eyes and saw Dean’s face, she smiled brightly at him, “Hey.”
Sam watched the exchange with a quiet chuckle.
“Hey, Sweetheart. Just trying to get this powder off of you,” Dean explained.
“Powdered?” Y/N slurred slightly.
Dean picked up the box with the wet washcloth and moved it to her nightstand away from her after showing her.
“Ugh. That bitch. I’m gonna hurt her,” she attempted to exclaim angrily but sounded more drunk as she slurred her words. She tried getting up but Dean pushed her back down, “No, we don’t know what this stuff did to you. You need to relax.”
“I’m fine. Jennifer said she’d send me some new evidence and apparently this is it,” Y/N looked sleepily annoyed.
She tried to motion to the chest of drawers the tv was on, “My, uh…” She looked confused and the brothers exchanged a worried look. She took a deep breath, “TV. Thing you write on.”
Sam looked and saw the pad of paper. He held up the small pad.
“Yeah, Jennifer and Mitchell…um—“ she suddenly yawned and shook her head. She slowly sat up and Dean leaned away slightly. Y/N blinked a few times. She looked at her hands and shook them out. “I’m tingly,” she looked so confused.
“You ok, Y/N?” Asked Dean, concern written all over his face.
“Brain fog. Haven’t been doing great lately. Thought a case would be a good distraction.” She looked at her pants and jeans but didn’t find anything on them.
Sam had been examining Y/N’s notes on the pad about the case. “Lawrence?”
“That’s them,” Y/N quickly responded. A sudden wave of nausea came over her, “Oo oo oo, I need to shower. I don’t know what this shit is but it ain’t good.”
“Need help?” Asked Dean.
Sam giving Dean a look.
“I think I do,” Y/N said worriedly. “Nausea. Dizziness is slowly becoming an issue…or an ear crystal dislodged?”
The brothers looked at her like she was crazy, “it’s part of your equilibrium. You have fluid with ear crystals that your brain recognizes for balance but if they move, it fucks upyour equalibrium until they get moved back in place.”
“Ear crystals?” Asked Sam.
Y/N looked more annoyed. “Google is your friend. Type in ear crystals.” She rolled her eyes, “It’s human biology, people.” She quickly stood up and instantly regretted it and the dizziness immediately worsened causing her to fall without realizing it.
Dean caught her easily, “Hey, Swerheart. You need to rest.”
“I need to shower,” she replied and stood herself back up. With a deep breath and took a slow step forward with Dean attached to her right arm.
Sam looked at Dean who shrugged and then Sam lifted the notepad motioning silently he will go check it out. Dean nodded as Y/N slowly made it to the bathroom.
Y/N interjected, “If you can, Sam, see if you can determine if the Lawrence’s actually did whatever this is and if so, find out what and if it can be reversed. I might have the ingredients in my backpack or know where to get them depending on rarity. If they didn’t, I don’t know.” She turned on the bathroom light with a grin, “Whoot. Ha. Ha.” She slipped from Dean’s grasp and leaned on the small bathroom counter slowly turned around and stared at the combo shower-bath, brow furrowed.
“Will do,” said Sam and he left.
“How you doing there, Y/N?” Dean asked watching her lean against the counter.
“The dizziness is subsiding,” Y/N said then added, “slowly.” She stood up with her lower back touching the counter’s edge. She looked at Dean, “Nudity an issue for you?”
Dean looked at her confused and stepped in the bathroom. He felt his cock stir some at the thought of seeing Y/N naked.
She explained, ”Could you help me get in the shower? Worried I’ll slip and fall.”
Dean gave his best confident smile and nodded, “Yeah, no problem.” He took off his jacket and threw it on the bed closest to the bathroom then went back and waited for Y/N to tell him what to do next. “What do you need me to do?”
“Would you turn in the shower and just stand there while I work to get undressed?”
Dean nodded and went to the shower turn it to a nice warm temperature and went back to his spot next to her but faced to the shower and away from the mirror to give her what little privacy he could offer. She looked at him and giggled, making him glance at her. “You’re sweet, Dean and it’s a chivalrous gesture, but nudity is nudity, a body is a body, and it’s only sexual if you want it to be, and none of that really bothers me. So, if you want to look then look.” She chuckled at him as she took off her jacket and put it folded on the counter next to her.
Dean looked at her surprised. He knew that she was unlike other hunters he’d met, men or women, and she wasn’t easily won by his charms. He had not ever thought of the human body that way. Not sexualizing it automatically but choosing to or not.
She held onto the counter and Dean’s arm as she kicked off her boots under the sink then stepped on the toe of her sock and pulled and repeated with the other foot.
“Huh? I never thought of doing that,” Dean said looking at her feet.
“I don’t always have good use of my hands so I have to figure out other ways to do things sometimes.”
“What do you mean?” Dean asked, very interested. Y/N never talked much about herself besides her interests and other typical conversation items. He didn’t know much about her personally.
She smiled at him and looked at him, “I really shouldn’t be hunting but it makes the most sense to me after everything.”
“Oh, I understand that.” He agreed.
She pulled off her tank top and sports bra in one go. Dean was unprepared for the sudden sight of her breasts— soft, a bit bigger than palm size for him , which was plenty, with surprisingly matching colored areolas and nipples to her top, and a pale scar on the outside of her right breasts—and her abdomen, soft, round with some pudge. He wondered how it would feel holding her or kissing her. His cock was enjoying the view a little too much and caused him to cough and turn away as he tried to nonchalantly adjust himself. Stop it. He thought to himself frustrated at how his body wasn’t cooperating.
While she noticed looking her over as she undressed, she mentally shrugged.
He heard her unzip her jeans and then they fell to the floor. “Would you check the temp, please? Don’t want it too hot, ya know?”
“Sure,” he replied as he reached through the curtain and checked the temp with his hands “It’s good.”
“Good,” she replied while she looked down to the floor.
Dean looked to the floor and back up her legs and noticed how muscular her calves were and her thighs were just thick with some stretch marks here and there. “Problem?”
“Just deciding,” she stated. She shrugged, turned away from Dean, and hooked her fingers in the band on both sides. She slowly took them down her legs and bent at the waist, flashing her ass right in front of Dean. She hid a cheeky grin from him as she did, completely intentional.
“Feeling better?” Dean asked when he saw her finish getting undressed.
“Tingly but dizziness seems to almost be gone.”
“You said that before,” Dean asked, curious, but was still faced away from her. “What do you mean by ‘tingly’?”
“Almost like everything is vibrating, not jittery or shaky,” she paused a minute. “Give me your hand. It’s ok. Turn around.”
He slowly turned around and saw she had her hand held out for his with a small grin on her face. “Let me see if I can show you. Give ne your hand.”
He hesitated but did as she asked. He put his hand in her palm face up and gently tapped her finger tips on his palm and slowly sped up the tapping. The sensation she caused him went straight to his cock. As she sped up, leaned on the sink and closed his eyes, every tap went to his cock and spread out like lightning.
She paused as she looked at his handand examined his index finger, “what’s that on your finger?”
Dean opened his eyes alarmed and looked.
She leaned down and smelled it, “Mmmm?” There was just a touch of the pink powder still on his finger from when he checked her carotid pulse. The urge to suck his finger became overwhelming and was so unexpected, she just reacted.
She engulfed his index finger in her mouth sucked it slowly up to the tip and rubbed her teeth against the tip of his sensitive finger releasing a quiet groan from his throat. Not realizing she had closed her eyes or even was holding his hand captive in both of hers, she opened them looking at his face as she repeated this again, sucking even harder.
Dean closed his eyes as the sensation over took him and moaned, “Oh my god, Y/N.”
She released his finger with an audible pop and a smirk on her lips, “Do you want me to stop?”
Dean opened his eyes and looked confused at Y/N, “No.” A moment later, “Wait” and pulled his hand,which took a few times before Y/N let him go, from her grasp. He sighs and crinkles his freckled nose, “You’re under a spell or some kind of magick. As much…” He takes a deep breath as he just lingers over her naked form, “As much as I would absolutely love to continue this, that would be taking advantage of you and I’m not that guy.” He slowly took a step back, concerned.
She placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him, and then she turned around and picked up her pants digging in it. She took out her cell and dropped her pants, “Fine, I’ll call Sam. I’m sure he would.”
Dean yanked the cell out of her hand and threw it towards the bed, and came back blocking the door.
“Oooo, jealous?” Y/N asked and slowly walked towards him, slowly swaying her hips with each step. He but his lower lip as he watched her approach. He did not back up and she reached out her hand to his Henley. “So soft.” She licked her lips then pressed them together as if putting on lipstick. . “You always look good in these shirts. I bet the ladies love them.”
She watched his face as she spoke and now she stood barely an inch apart. She slowly wrapped her hands over his shoulders. “I know you want me, Dean Winchester. I’ve wanted you for quite some time myself,” she ran her nails down on to his chest causing a quick inhale from him. “But, well, you intimidated me, I didn’t think you’d ever go for someone like,” she said in a quiet voice, “little ol’ me. Fucked up, scarred, chubby hunter who is still new to the scene.” She paused a moment to run her fingertips up and down the side of his neck. She pressed herself into him watching his face with a grin.
“Not like you and your womanizer reputation. Hot, delicious Dean Winchester, amazing hunter and fighter, and amazing in bed with a masterful tongue and talented fingers. That’s what I’ve been told by several other female hunters.” She pushed at him slightly and turned away from him to sit on the closet toilet seat. She put her elbows on her knees, legs spread out which drew his eyes where she wanted them, her dripping wetness.
“I found you very intimidating. You got it all, Mr. Winchester. Ridiculously attractive. I’m sure you’re just delicious,” she licked her lower lip then bit driving a groan from him. “Family. Resourceful. Physically fit and surpassing stamina. You’re very funny. No matter what Sam says, you’re hilarious. And a complete pop culture geek which I adore.” her smile softened as she looked at him and her eyes changed in a manner he couldn’t recognize, “Yeah, you’re a self-medicating alcoholic who eats way too much junk and has a rage that escapes you from time to time in the right places it seems, but I would take that all just to have you be mine.”
She stood hesitating, shook her head a moment then added, “Since I’m being so honest, if something were to happen to you, Mr. Winchester, I don’t think I could take it.” She let him go and stepped into the shower and remained silent.
Dean stood there surprised at her confession with an arousal that was trying to break free of his jeans, and worried it was the spell talking and not her. He was worried he was also affected by the spell.
She stuck her head, soaking wet hair and water dripping down her face causing droplets to stay on her eyelashes with a cheeky grin on her lips, “You're welcome to join me.” She but her lower lip and went back into the shower.
Dean was unable to say no anymore and gave into the invite. Quickly stripping, he closed and locked the bathroom door. Sorry, Sammy, he thought to himself right before he joined her in the shower.
An hour after he left, Sam came back to the room on his phone, “Ok. Thanks, Rowena. Will call if she doesn’t change by tomorrow afternoon.” He hung up and realized the shower was running but no one was on the beds. He heard moaning from the bathroom and scoffed. Oh my god, Dean. No, Sam thought and walked right back out of the room. He texted Dean telling him he was getting them a room at the motel and to call him when they were done.
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Incurable Cravings (Chapter Four)
Pairing: Regina George x Reader
Warnings: none really, just angsty
Word Count: 2200, Part 4/?
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
Continuation of Incurable Cravings series!
Little author's note: I made a small edit to Chapter 2 to fix a plot hole that I created for myself. Regina and Leighton have been living in separate homes for five years as opposed to the original ten.
Regina and reader begin to navigate their first day at school in light of their newfound relationship. Reader learns more about the history between Janis, Regina and Leighton.
Regina’s family was complex.
You knew that Ms. George used to be married to Regina’s father. Together, they had twin daughters, Regina and Leighton. You were all around 13 years old when they divorced. The resulting custody arrangement was unusual. Ms. George kept Regina and the house, while Leighton went with their dad and moved to the east coast. You vaguely knew that the father, Henry, got remarried to his college sweetheart, who had an older son from her previous marriage. Ms. George kept her maiden name and changed Regina’s last name to match, and has since also remarried and had Regina’s half-sister, Kylie. Regina’s stepdad, from what you knew, was a high-ranking military official. He didn’t see combat, but he was almost never home. All of them seemed to prefer it that way.
Regina and her stepdad famously did not get along well, so his frequent absence was appreciated by her. And Ms. George enjoyed being able to maintain her independence. She often referred to herself as a single mom, even though she, objectively, was married.
You hadn’t seen Leighton since she moved away, and based on what Regina had said, she had rarely seen her twin either. You were positive that the distance must be hard on them both. Regina and Leighton had always been each other's' best friend when you were younger. They were practically joined at the hip. You remember that when Leighton moved away, Regina didn’t come to school for almost two weeks and she wouldn’t see anyone.
The divorce, and your small friend group falling apart, all happened within the span of a year. And now, as Regina slept peacefully in your arms, you wondered just how much pain she had been carrying.
It broke your heart.
In spite of your racing thoughts, you eventually gave in to sleep yourself and were able to get a few hours shuteye before Regina’s alarm was going off and waking you for school. Regina groaned and snoozed the alarm once before turning over and curling up against your chest.
You giggled at how cute she was being and took to kissing her head and playing with her hair for those ten extra minutes. You felt her press a few soft kisses onto your neck and then the alarm went off again.
You reached over her and turned the alarm off and then rubbed your palm over her upper arm.
The blonde smiled and whispered, “good morning…”
“Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?”
Regina yawned and stretched her arms out a little before responding, “better than I’ve felt in a while.”
“Good.”
She met your eyes, “am I remembering last night correctly?”
“What do you remember?”
She hesitated for a moment, examining your expression, maybe considering dropping it, “I remember you saying that you love me…”
You nodded your head, “I did, Gina,” you tucked some hair behind her ear, “I said ‘I love you.’”
She nodded back and bit down on her bottom lip. You could see the anxiety mounting in her through her tensing muscles and rapid eye movements.
“I…” she began.
“Shhh…” you leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss.
She melted at the contact and let her hand travel over your shoulder and up the back of your neck to hold you close. Regina held you in that kiss for a long while and then just silently nodded again as she pulled away.
“Thank you…” she whispered.
And thus, only a fraction of your conversation actually took place out loud. You never really imagined having a bond like that with someone, not after the years you had lost of growing with Regina and Janis as your closest friends. But right here, in this moment, Regina knew without a shadow of a doubt that you had meant what you said. And you knew that she felt the same way about you in return.
You both took a minute more to play with each other’s fingers as you held hands in the bed.
The blonde kissed your hand and whispered, “I wish we had time to enjoy more of each other instead of going to school…”
“I do too, trust me.”
“I just want this gorgeous body of yours all to myself, all the time…”
You smirked, “you are such a temptress… but don’t worry, Gina. I’m all yours.” You kissed her cheek and then her lips again, obliging her when she grazed your lip with her tongue to deepen the kiss. You shared a few more kisses like this before Regina finally forced herself to sit up.
She looked sore and stiff in her movements. You reached out to gently touch her back after she sat up and you asked, “do you want help getting up?”
“No, no… I’ll be okay. Thank you baby.”
You got ready for the day together. Regina happily let you borrow some of her clothes that she reserved for wearing only around the house. No one would likely be able to tell that they were hers, not that it mattered to you.
Ms. George had fixed you both a quick breakfast and offered you free reign of the pantry to make yourself a lunch.
Regina, with a little bit of encouragement from you, managed to eat a cup of yogurt with granola.
“I’m gonna go start the car, you coming?” Regina asked you when she finished eating.
“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll be right out.”
Regina nodded and left through the front door of her house. You heard the engine of her Jeep start and you turned to Ms. George, who was scrolling Facebook on her phone while eating her own bowl of yogurt.
“Ms. George?”
She looked up at you, “what’s up, sugar?”
“Do you have Leighton’s phone number?”
Regina held your hand the whole car ride to school and walked inside with you, only dropping your hand once you were in the presence of others.
Regina saw Gretchen and Karen waiting for her at her locker so she turned to you and gave you a sweet goodbye with a quick, stolen kiss to your cheek before she split off from you and resumed her normal.
You realized that the two of you hadn’t discussed this part. You didn’t know how long it would be this secret between the two of you, but you hoped not long.
But you were greeted with your own smack in the face from reality when you walked up to your locker. Janis stood there, waiting for you.
You took a deep breath, “hey.”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest, “hey. I want to try this again.”
She stepped out of your way as you opened up your locker and she continued when you didn’t really say anything in response, “yesterday, I know I approached you about Regina in the wrong way, and I’m sorry.”
You grabbed one of your textbooks, “thank you. I forgive you.”
“But… I’d really like to talk to you about this. I saw you leave that storage closet with her. And I saw you go home with her after school yesterday. And, oh my god, you’re wearing her sweatshirt.”
Shit. Of course Janis would recognize it.
“And? What exactly do you want to know?”
“I… well, like what are you guys doing together? Are you hanging out again?”
“I guess we are… yeah. We’re hanging out.”
“Why?! Why would you do that?”
“Janis…” your voice betrayed your sadness and frustration.
“No seriously, come on! You’re one of the only people who knows the truth about what Regina has put me through! I thought you would be on my side!”
You pinched the bridge of your nose and inhaled, “Janis, it’s more complicated than sides… and, and I don’t know that I do know the truth!”
“What do you mean? You were at that party! You were there!”
“I mean, why does Regina think that something happened between you and Leighton?”
Janis’ jaw dropped, “what?”
“What happened between you and Leighton?”
“What did Regina say?”
“She didn’t say anything specific, only that you hurt Leighton somehow.”
“I…” Janis clenched her hands into fists, “that has nothing to do with me and Regina! I don’t even… you knew how I felt about Regina… you don’t really think I deserved what she did, do you?”
“Janis, no. I don’t think you deserved it. I don’t think any of us deserved anything that happened, Regina included. I think we were kids with a lot of complicated feelings.”
Janis stared at you incredulously.
“Didn’t you guys make up at the dance last year?”
“No. We didn’t. She was high on pain medication. She didn’t forgive me and I didn’t forgive her.”
You sighed, “Look, right now, I know that Regina wants me around and I’m okay with putting things behind me so that I can be there for her. But you don’t have to do that. Just don’t get mad at me for trying.”
She stared at you again.
You closed your locker door, “you weren’t the only one of us who was in love with her, Janis. You weren’t the only one who lost her, okay?”
You walked away from Janis for the second time, once again, unsure whether you were making the right choices in navigating this whole thing. You couldn’t exactly tell Janis the whole truth about your relationship, not without consulting Regina about it first. But you knew it wasn’t fair to leave Janis completely in the dark either.
You sat through your math class unable to pay attention to a single word out of Mrs. Norbury’s mouth because you were so caught up in how complicated this all was.
On your way out, Mrs. Norbury called you up to her desk and you obliged.
“Hey, you doing okay?”
You nodded, “yeah, I’m just having a weird week. I’m sorry for spacing out.”
She gave you a half smile, “look, I know your grades are going to be fine, that’s not what I’m worried about. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
“It’s just friend stuff.”
“Alright, well, just remember that graduation is right around the corner. You need to make sure that you’re thinking about what you want.” She smiled at you as if what she said wasn’t annoyingly vague.
“Have you told anyone else about your acceptance letter yet?” She continued.
“No… still only you and my parents know. I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet.”
“It’s been a few months now, you’ll have to start telling people eventually.”
“I know… I just…”
Mrs. Norbury waited patiently for you to finish.
“It hasn’t really sunk in for me yet.”
She raised an eyebrow. You knew she was suspicious of your answer but she let it go, “okay. Well, if you need anything, just let me know.”
You nodded and left her classroom. Your heart was pounding.
Until yesterday, there was no one that you were overly concerned to talk to about your college acceptance. But now… you’d have to find a way to tell Regina that in just a few short months, you’d be moving to Boston for college.
You hustled to your next class and pulled your phone out as you sat down in your seat. You quickly started a new message to the number that Ms. George gave you.
When you left that class, you checked your phone first thing and you had a text back.
“Is Regina okay?”
You typed your response as you walked, “Regina is okay, but there’s a lot going on right now and I could use your help. I’m sorry to text you out of the blue like this. Your mom gave me your number.”
“So, you and Regina are friends again?”
“Yes.”
“Janis, too?”
“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about… what happened? If you don't mind me asking…”
It took a minute for Leighton to respond. You watched the little bubble that indicated she was typing until her message back finally came through.
Leighton wrote, “honestly? Looking back, it’s stupid and I’m p sure Regina overreacted.”
Leighton tells you that when you were all kids, Janis confided in her that she had a crush on Regina. Janis begged Leighton not to tell Regina, and Leighton agreed, not seeing any reason to hurt Janis and ruin the friendship between the girls. But sometime later, Regina came to know the truth and talked to Janis and turned her down kindly. Janis was still mortified, but beyond that, she was pissed. Janis assumed that Leighton told Regina and wanted to get back at her for it. Janis knew that Leighton had a big class presentation coming up and she came to school wearing a beautifully pressed, matching white suit jacket and skirt. Janis loaded up her lunch tray with everything that the cafeteria had to offer that would stain and then “bumped” right into Leighton, dumping her entire tray onto Leighton.
It was petty. It was stupid. It was misinformed. But it made Leighton cry in the bathroom, and that was something Regina couldn’t abide. Regina planned her revenge, and that’s how the spin-the-bottle party happened. Janis embarrassed Leighton, so Regina embarrassed Janis with the best ammo she had in her arsenal.
Next Chapter
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How Much Love
Genre: Steve Harrington x fem!reader / gn!reader; angst with fluffy ending, hurt/comfort, established relationship
Summary: Steve has a migraine attack but he’s too stubborn to take care of himself.
Word count: 1.4K
Warnings: one curse word, non-descriptive vomiting, migraine symptoms, chronic pain, crying, one use of Y/N, dumb joke, p*rn reference?
Author’s note: I know the migraine thing has been overdone but idc :) I'm pretty sure this could be read as gender neutral but you can lmk if that's not the case
Enjoy!
Main Masterlist
Steve knew he shouldn’t have gone to work. The second his eyes opened he knew it was going to be a rough day. The persistent throbbing on the left side of his face and the twist of nausea in his stomach would be enough to convince anyone else that they should take it easy.
Not for Steve though.
He’s done this dance before. The battle in his mind of not wanting to waste one of his precious sick days or if he should stay home and take care of himself so he can make it through the next day. He usually sucked it up and went with the former.
I’ve had worse before, he’d rationalize to himself. I can handle it.
His true motivation for leaving the comfort and warmth of his bed was the date he had planned for you two. Steve went all out with flowers, chocolates, dinner reservation at Enzo’s, and concluding the night snuggled up on his couch watching a rented movie.
But the customers kept coming. Steve could've sworn they were all there, not to rent a movie, but to exacerbate his migraine attack. Tired mothers bringing in their screaming babies, a group of smelly teenagers, and a boisterous man who was trying to convince Robin that The Godfather was the greatest movie ever made. That’s not even mentioning the flickering fluorescent lights that Keith refuses to change the bulbs in.
Robin began to take notice once Steve kept bumping into the shelves as he put away tapes around the store. She watched as he mustered up enough strength to pick up a stack of returned tapes and mindlessly put The Muppet Babies in the Horror section and something called I Dream of Weenie in the kids section.
By 4:30, he was absolutely fried.
“Go home, dingus,” Robin ordered.
All Steve could muster was a small grunt from his spot at the register. His forehead was pressed to the cool counter, toned arms wrapped around his head, trying to keep as much noise and light out as possible.
The bell on the door of Family Video was the final nail in the coffin. People have been coming in and out all day but this time the ring pierced through the side of his head like a burning knife, swiftly penetrating his brain and twisting it for good measure.
Steve’s back stiffened as he sat up too fast, stomach turning when he ran blindly through the store and into the bathroom before emptying out the contents of his stomach. He tried not to think about when the last time the toilet was cleaned as he kept his face in the ceramic bowl, spitting out the rest of the sour bile coating his throat.
Steve barely heard the door creak open through the throbbing in his head and the ringing in his ears, but he did notice the light in the bathroom turn off. “Go away, Robin,” he croaked out.
The disobedient footsteps continued towards him. He just wanted to be left alone, feeling too vulnerable in this state. He felt embarrassment twist in his chest at the thought of not being able to handle a simple headache.
A cold hand landed on the back of his neck and began to massage lightly. It felt comforting but Steve’s mind was rejecting it, “Robin, I said-”
He finally lifted his heavy head, half opened eyes widened slightly as he met your concerned gaze, only for him to start welling up. Steve’s lip trembled as it failed to keep a sob from escaping.
“Oh baby,” you whispered. “Not feeling good?”
Steve hung his head the best he could with his stiff neck and shook his head in response.
“It’s okay, Stevie. Try not to move your head too much.”
You squatted next to him on the nasty bathroom floor and gently brought him into your arms. You let him cry into your shirt, gently rubbing soothing circles on his back and neck. Steve knew that crying would only hurt his head more, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t understand the emotions he was feeling yet, but he knew he was relieved to see you show up. Like a superhero, there to heal and protect him from any harm.
“I’m here now, baby. Let’s get you home, okay?”
_______________________________________________
Steve was so out of it he wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing he knew he was snuggled in a cocoon of pillows and blankets. He peeled his eyes open and recognized the dark ceiling of his bedroom.
You were puttering around the room, tidying up a little so Steve would have one less thing to worry about. He admired how natural it looked for you, knowing where everything goes and even avoiding the loud creaking spots on the floor. Steve had the sudden urge to reach out but you tucked him in so well he was having trouble slipping his arms out.
His grunt of protest over the blanket entrapment alerted you and you were by his side in an instant.
“What is it baby?” you whispered gently, “you need some water? Or a new ice pack?”
Only when you removed the cool washcloth from his forehead did he notice the satisfying chill. He must have been practically asleep when you brought him home because he really doesn’t remember anything.
“What time is it?” Steve croaked out.
He leaned into the kiss you pressed gently to his cheek before you answered, “almost midnight.”
“What?!” Steve immediately went to sit up, but in his weakened state you were easily able to push him back down. “We had reservations!”
“I know, Stevie. It was really sweet of you to make plans but nothing we can do about it now,” you tried to reason. “We need to get you feeling better.”
“But I-”
“Stop that,” you demanded, still with a quiet and gentle tone, but it was still enough to cut him off. “Let me take care of you, Stevie. I know you feel bad, but I want to take care of you.”
Steve wasn’t sure if you meant he was feeling bad because he was sick or because of the immense amount of guilt he feels whenever he sees himself as a burden to others. Probably a little of both.
“I just…I was looking forward to tonight,” Steve muttered tiredly. “And this stupid chronic thing just always gets in the way and I don't…I don’t like asking for help.”
Steve wasn’t sure if he was making much sense but your smile showed him you understood. Your expression was soft and comforting as you gently raked your fingers through his hair. “Steve, I love you. All of you. Every single part of you I just adore. It doesn’t matter if those parts are feeling bad or good, I’ll always be here,” you stroked his cheek gently with the back of your hand, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. “I like caring for you Steve. It makes me feel good. So don’t worry about burdening me or anything like that, okay?”
Steve felt his lip tremble again but managed to gulp down his sobs this time. He whispered a quiet, “thank you” before fully relaxing. He lazily pursed his lips, silently asking for affection, which you happily fulfilled. You moved in close and kissed his lips as a way to let him know you will support him during this tough time.
Once you were leaned back you said, “now, on a scale from one to ten, how bad does it hurt?”
“Mm…Eleven.”
“No, it’s Y/N.”
Silence engulfed the negative space until a curious Steve peeled one eye open, only to see your shit-eating grin. He knew you’d be frozen like that until he laughed, but your expression was usually funnier than the joke.
He puffed out a laugh through his nose before shutting his eyes again. “That was horrible,” he said.
“Maybe, but at least I got you to smile,” you said smugly.
“Mm you sure did,” he praised you lightly. “Now c’mere. Cuddling is the best medicine.”
It’s called ‘chronic pain’ for a reason. Sure you can dull the pain with medications and treatments but it’ll always be there. Sometimes all you have to do is deal with it and ride it out, but it makes it so much easier when there’s someone there who loves and supports you.
Love may not be able to cure all kinds of pain but Steve thinks your love comes pretty close.
thank you for reading!
Main Masterlist
#stranger things#steve harrington x reader#robin buckley#canon divergent#steve x reader#steve harrington x y/n#fanfiction#netflix#80s#established relationship#migraine#chronic illness#chronic pain#concussion#steve harrington#steve pov#hurt/comfort#fluff#angst#Spotify
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Too Young to Die- Part 1
Masterlist
Part 1 of 3 part Mini Series
Pairing | Massage Therapist Joel Miller x F!Reader with Autoimmune disease, no outbreak, AU (I changed up his timeline a bit).
Summary | You were referred to Dr. Joel Miller, a massage specialist, to help manage your joint and muscle pain with autoimmune disease. What you didn’t know was that Joel was an insanely attractive man, and that you’d be coming undone underneath him before your first appointment was even over with.
Series Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI, Smut!
Age gap (he’s 47, she’s 29), language, Smut (with a capital S, watch out!!), daddy reference, f!(fingering), squirting, female reader has autoimmune disease, Joel is a massage therapist, slight reference of medical stuff, reader verbalizes anxiety with treatment, fluffy Joel, soft Joel, sexy Joel, terms of endearment, Joel asks her out on a date at the end.
A/N: This one is completely self-indulgent and has been sitting in my draft folder since before Christmas. I have autoimmune disease, and treatment hasn’t worked much for me in many areas, so I know some of the troubles and struggles that the reader here has. Not everyone who has autoimmune disease may experience these symptoms, concerns, or struggles. This will be only a three part mini series. Very smutty with story building throughout. Enjoy!
Word Count: 9.1K (we’re establishing a story here)
Fuck you were wrecked, seconds away from crashing through, or into, a brick wall with an orgasm, you thought. This felt different though, so much different than what you’ve ever experienced before. “Joel, fuck, pressure, it’s a lot of pressure and I’m, fuck, I’m, I’m-”
“Come f’me sweetheart. Come on baby, fucking soak my fingers.”
Joel Miller sat in his office of his massage studio, looking over the referral paperwork that Dr. Samson, an autoimmune specialist, had sent him. A female patient was being referred to him for treatment of musculoskeletal pain and tenderness.
“Patient has reoccurring musculoskeletal tremors of unknown origin that come and go. Bilateral joint swelling seen in all extremities with positive inflammation noted in laboratory test results and X-rays. Arthritis and arthralgia positive in all joints. According to the patient, anti-inflammatory and arthritis medication only works slightly for pain. Recommended gentle massage therapy to see if joint lubrication and increased joint mobility is plausible, and if pain and muscle tremors will cease. Immediate referral requested.”
When Joel glanced at the bottom of the form a week ago, he had seen that the referral had come in three weeks prior. Now today, four weeks after the initial referral, he was finally able to see you for the first time. When he had inquired with his secretary as to why it took so long before he saw you, she had said that there was a problem with your private healthcare insurance. Delaying treatment was never something that Joel Miller prided himself on. In fact, he was usually the opposite with trying to get his patients in for their first appointment within a week following their referral. Joel, having been a contractor in his previous life before becoming a massage therapist, knew the difficulties with treating joint and muscle pain. The goal was to never delay treatment as it would lead to widespread body inflammation. And once inflammation fully set into muscles and joints, it was harder for someone to find relief of their discomfort.
You were Joel’s next scheduled patient to arrive in 20 minutes. As he waited for your arrival, he went back over your X-rays, lab test results, and dictation notes from your autoimmune specialist. He had already reviewed it previously, but now he was refreshing himself on your in-depth history as he took some last minute notes of things that he wanted to ask you for this particular session. He had booked your first appointment with him to be about 2 hours, instead of the usual hour. Joel always conducted very detailed exams with his patients. He was also very knowledgeable in understanding autoimmune patients, especially knowing that each person was unique. He wanted to tailor a program that was going to help you specifically.
Joel Miller wasn’t just your average run of the mill massage therapist, he had a specialty license in massage. He specialized in patients with pain, joint stiffness and swelling, inflammation, autoimmune disease, injuries, etc. People usually only came to him by doctor referral, which usually meant two things. First, he prided himself on taking his time to get to know his patients and how he could help ease their suffering and pain. And second, he typically charged more money for his services. Most massage therapists would charge people a fee based on how long they performed their massage, Joel charged by the session. The maximum time he would give a client with his hands was 1 hour, but he’d pencil in 1.5 hours of time with them just in case they felt pain. Sometimes he’d have to stop and let patients breathe and relax for a minute before he started massaging their muscles again. Joel had a lot of training and education in the technique that was required, and many patients walked away from him stating that they felt a lot better. By glancing at your history he didn’t think that you’d be a one time only patient. He thinks that you would benefit from regular massages with him to help treat your inflammation and pain.
“Mr. Miller, your 10 AM appointment is here,” his secretary, Ashley, said.
“Thanks Ashley, I’ll be out in a minute. Please take her back to Room 5, and I’ll be along in a minute.” He replied, still studying the notes from your doctor and making notes for himself of the things that he wanted to focus on with you for your first appointment.
When you had arrived at the address for your first massage, you felt a sickly feeling in your stomach. Your doctor had reassured you that Mr. Miller would be the person to help you feel better. But just like all the other promises that your primary care provider gave you, and how none of them worked the way that you hoped, you were very skeptical at this new treatment option. Nothing helped you feel better, and you were beyond frustrated. It took you a bit to convince yourself this morning to come here, telling yourself that Dr. Miller was an expert at this, and that you should give him a try. What could hurt, you thought. Worst case scenario, it didn't do anything, which sadly was the norm for you these days.
For the last several years, your body had been poked and prodded more times than you would care to admit. Each time there was a promise of a better understanding or discovery of why this was all happening. But with each test, came more conflicting and confusing results, and you were exhausted from it all. You have been giving more blood for the sake of medical testing than what you’d think was truly normal. As ridiculous as it sounded, you felt that if Dracula was actually a real being, that he would be impressed with the amount of blood that you've donated for the sake of medical science.
With shaky hands, you got out of your car, locked it, and then entered the facility. When you entered you noticed that the space was calm. There was pale muted colors that covered the walls, colors that often helped people relax. But it did nothing for your nerves. You were shaking and not wanting to do any of this anymore. You felt like you had a huge lump in your throat, and that you couldn't fully swallow. Of all the things that you had to be afraid of in this world, you were the most afraid of medical treatment. Yet, that was the one thing that you were blessed with in having to always do. ‘Thanks body for betraying me with autoimmune,’ you thought.
As you walked up to the registration window, you found the secretary typing away on her keyboard while looking at her computer screen. You tried to settle your nerves before opening your mouth, but you felt like you were drowning in a pool of despair. Anxiety was getting the better of you again, and you felt like you wanted to run away and hide from everything. But where could you go when autoimmune always seemed to follow you, especially with the pain that came along with it.
“Um, excuse me,” you said meekly, after standing at the window for a brief moment.
The secretary continued to type away, not looking at you nor acknowledging your presence. You went to clear your voice again when she abruptly stopped and said, “what can I do for you hun?”
“I- uh, I have an appointment, with um, with Dr. Miller I think,” you said softly.
“Oh, hun it's just Mr. Miller, or Joel for short. He doesn't like being called Doctor. He always says he has a doctorate degree in massage, not in medicine. Yet they're kinda the same thing if you ask me.” The secretary said, shaking her head with a slight laugh. You stood there in silence, looking at her as she continued to ramble on. You were trying to listen to what she was saying, but all you could feel was your heart racing in your chest at the prospect of once again meeting a new person with the promise of helping you.
After listening to the woman who you thought was named Ashley ramble on for 15 minutes, as that was the name that you noticed on her name tag, you were finally sitting down in the general waiting area. You were slowly trying to calm down and relax while staring outside and watching the birds hunt for bugs in the grass. You didn't know how long you were waiting there, just staring outside, before you heard Ashley call your name again to take you back to Room 5. You didn’t know what to expect when you entered the room, but what you saw shocked you.
The room was softly lit, with soft music playing in the background, music that you liked. You also heard running waterfalls, sounds that came from the little fountains scattered all around the room. There was also a hint of cinnamon and slight vanilla aroma in the air, your favorite scents that would usually calm you. You tried racking your brain as to how, by chance, these scents and sounds were present when Ashley said, “it was on your intake survey. Your favorite classical music, scents, and sounds. Joel's very thorough, focusing on relaxation as much as muscle and joint relief.”
You stood there shocked. You thought those questions were just asked of people to try to ease the tension of how you were going to let a stranger put their hands on you. You had no idea that your answers would actually be taken seriously. Usually doctors, when they’ve asked those questions, never really did anything with the answers. Well, Dr. Miller was definitely different. It was at this moment that you were grateful that someone actually listened to you. You just hoped that he would continue with the same dedication while speaking with you, and not ignore what you said like everyone else seemed to do. You were frustrated with the medical field. You’d tell them something hurt, or something was happening and they only looked at your lab tests and X-rays and made decisions based on that, never actually listening to what you were truly telling them. You had only been in the room for maybe 5 minutes when you heard a gentle knock on the door, and the entrance of who you only could have suggested was Dr. Miller.
“Good day, I'm Dr. Miller but you can call me Joel.” He said while holding out his hand for you to shake. You shook his hand, and as you did, you felt how rough his hands were. They were calloused and strong, very sturdy hands. Not something that you'd expect to see from a massage therapist. This intrigued you, as you've always loved a man with rough hands.
After you introduced yourself, Joel walked over to the small desk in the room and sat down on the rolling stool. A typical doctor stool that you’ve seen countless times in exam rooms. He grabbed a piece of paper and then sat there for a moment writing a few notes, things that you thought were probably dealing with your medical file. After a moment he finally looked up at you and then asked with a slight Southern drawl, “How are y’feeling today?”
“I- I’m ok” you said meekly as you slowly looked over Joel. Joel was a gorgeous man, clearly in his later 40s with chocolate brown curly hair. He had a mustache and a slight beard by his jaw, one that had a slight sprinkling of gray in it. He also had glasses on his face with gentle eyes behind the glasses, ones that you could easily get lost in. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, framing his broad shoulders perfectly. He had a slight tan on his arms, and hands that once again you couldn't wait to touch you. By looking at him, you didn’t think that massage was the only thing that Joel has done in his life. Something told you that he had spent many years doing hard work with his hands. As you continued your exploration, you then noticed that he was wearing a nice pair of black pants that hugged his hips perfectly. As you continued, you saw that Dr. Miller was definitely someone who was a decent sized man in the bedroom, seeing the soft bulge in his pants as he sat down with his legs slightly spread on the stool by the desk. You couldn’t help yourself but you stared at his package, wondering what it’d look like outside of the confines of his pants, and what it would feel like fully aroused inside of you. The longer you stared, the more you felt heat rise up the back of your neck. When you noticed the awkward moment of him looking at you, clearly having asked you a question that you didn't hear, you shook your head slightly, looking down fully at the floor while saying “sorry” out loud.
“It's ok darlin',” he said, giving you a small little smirk at the fact that he caught you checking him out. You were hoping that he didn’t see what you were checking out the longest though. You didn’t want to explain to your massage therapist that you were fantasizing about his package, and what types of moans or grunts he’d make while fucking your brains out.
Joel continued to talk to you, explaining why you were here, and how his services could help you. You were only half listening to him, embarrassed about how you had behaved previously. Joel was devilishly handsome, the type of guy that you were into. You were, however, internally scolding yourself at the importance of having proper social etiquette, and not eye fucking your massage therapist, which is what you were doing every time you looked at him.
As Joel continued to talk with you, he slowly moved around the room, grabbing different things off from the shelves. He instantly noticed your meek and shy attitude, even though he had caught you checking him out earlier. He had to admit, you were very cute, but Joel was a professional. He couldn’t allow himself the joys of thinking about you in a different sort of way. Nevermind, that if he wasn’t your massage therapist, he would definitely want to explore those other possibilities with you. What he did notice though was how you turned inward at the mentions of pain, autoimmune disease, and how your doctor said you didn’t have much abilities to do activities that your peers could do. You were 29, and he knew what the world did to 29 year olds who didn’t, or couldn’t, do the same things that their peers could. The world would ignore you. Joel, himself, remembered those days when he was 29 and worked construction when Sarah and Ellie, his daughters, were younger. All his friends went out partying after work, when he went home and raised a 10 year old and a 2 year old all on his own, Sarah and Ellie’s mom were already out of the picture. Joel was lost in his own head, remembering those earlier days, when all of a sudden he heard you speak up in an irritated tone.
“Mr. Miller, no disrespect, but I don’t think you understand what it’s like to not be able to do things that most 29 year olds can do.” You didn’t think he understood. So once again you found yourself trying to explain to a medical professional how much autoimmune has negatively impacted your life at such a young age, and how agitated you were at the fact that no one seemed to help you or listen to you. Joel, being the attentive man that he was, sat across from you on the stool and listened to every word that you had said.
Once you were finished, Joel took a deep inhale, then followed by a long exhale and then said “I am so sorry that people haven’t listened to you, or have taken you seriously about your concerns with your body. You’re right, I don’t know what it's like f’ya as I’m not you. But, I do know what it’s like to not be able to do everything a 29 year old can do. I may not have autoimmune, but I had different responsibilities that didn’t allow me the joys of doing everything that I wanted, including the joys of being with a beautiful woman like yourself at that age. That’s why I want to help you.”
As soon as Joel called you beautiful, he saw your reaction. You started to blush on your cheeks from the compliment. You felt flattered by the older man that was in front of you. Meanwhile, Joel internally scolded himself at how his statement wasn't proper patient-doctor etiquette. Joel had vowed to himself that he wouldn't cross that line again, especially with you, no matter how drop dead gorgeous he thought you were.
Joel began to run a few tests with you, checking your reflexes and testing your mobility. You didn’t say anything else to him after his statement. You felt embarrassed by your actions and assumptions that he didn't care or understand, when you could clearly see that he did. The longer you looked at him, the more you could see that he was someone who truly did care about helping others. You silently wondered if his treatment would actually help.
“Dr. Miller?” you asked, wanting to scratch the itch of your curiosity in understanding the treatment that he was suggesting.
“Joel” he said as he pushed on your shoulder blades. When you winced he said “are you tender here?” as he pushed on the same spot again, but this time with a little less force.
“Yeah. I’m tender there, and everywhere,” you said with a hiss as he moved his hand down to your biceps. “It’s tender inside every joint, and sometimes muscles. Winter’s in Minnesota aren’t too nice for people like me,” you said, head hanging low as a tear slipped down your cheeks.
You felt Joel stop testing your joints and muscles, hands still on your arms when he placed his finger gently under your chin, slightly tilting your head up so you could look him in the eyes. After a moment he said, “Well, we’ll try to rectify that now won’t we. Massage is more than just relaxin’, it helps a lot of people in ways that can-”
“Can it cure me?” you said, interrupting him, with wide eyes. “Cause if it can cure me, I’ll do anything. But don’t tell me that it’ll work miracles. Don't get my hopes up and then have it fail. I-I can’t take it anymore with all of the disappointment” you said, closing your eyes to take a steadying breath as tears gathered at your waterline. It has been a very long and exhausting road these past three years with your autoimmune journey. You found out early on that your body couldn’t tolerate medication, and nothing else seemed to work.
“I can’t promise that it’ll do miracles by curin’ ya, but I can promise that I’ll try my best to make you feel better. How’s that?” Joel said with a tender voice, trying to soothe your emotional discomfort of years of failed treatments. Joel remembered reading the last line of your referral by Dr. Samson which had stated;
“No treatments have been successful. Patient has voiced wanting to stop trying autoimmune treatments, stating that she didn’t feel like it was working. Patient was informed that if she decided to fully stop taking immunosuppressant medications, that the end result would be major organ damage that could lead to death. Patient agreed to try one more treatment for pain, stating that if the treatment didn’t work, then she’d stop autoimmune treatments altogether and ‘let whatever happens, happen’.”
‘Fuck,’ Joel had thought when he first read that last line in your medical file. Someone giving up, especially at such a young age, didn't sit well with him. Being 29, your entire world was still in front of you. You had a lot more years and possibilities of life in front of you. Giving up wasn't something that Joel did, and the fact that you had voiced wanting to stop treatments to your doctor bothered him immensely. Truly, it wasn't necessarily the fact that you had wanted to stop treatments that upset him. It was your willingness to allow death to potentially consume you that truly got to him. You were too young to die.
20 minutes later, you were lying on your stomach with a sheet covering your lower half. You were completely naked, scolding yourself internally that you didn’t wear underware today with your pants. Joel was slowly massaging your back, trying to work out the knots that he felt in your muscles. As his hands continued to work out the knots and tension, you felt an overwhelming sense of relief. His touch was not only skilled, but carried a reassurance that echoed through your body. You felt safe with him, safe in a way that you haven’t for a long time. You felt like if you were near him, that he’d take all the bad in the world away for you. And if you were being honest, this comfort was something that you haven't felt in a very long time from anyone.
"You're doing great, darlin’," Joel whispered, sensing your vulnerability and turmoil you had been feeling. Joel could tell that you were working through something major in your head, just like most of his patients did. Most of the time he focused on trying to distract people from their internal thoughts, giving them a break when they were here. But there was something about the silence between the two of you right now that he felt like you desperately needed. Every time he’d open his mouth to ask you a question, he’d feel you tense up, and that was the last thing he wanted you to do. So he slowly worked your sore muscles and joints, giving them the tenderness and affection that they needed, while allowing you to stay seated in silence.
Throughout the session, Joel maintained an empathetic connection with you. He explained each technique when he’d switch it up, providing you with the most gentle sense of comfort. He’d tell you what he was going to do, if he moved down your body or up, giving you moments to breathe when he felt like it was too much. But most of all, he gave you that warmth and unawkward silence that you craved. He wanted you to just live and feel, to just be in the moment with him.
As Joel's tender touch continued, you felt a warmth spread throughout your body, slightly dissipating the pain that had lingered there for so long. His words became a comforting melody, echoing a promise to you of relief. “You’re doing so good f’me, gentle breaths in and out, there y’go.” He said, encouraging you to stay centered and remain in the moment. That was the key in pain relief, staying grounded and living within the moment. When we just allow our body to feel, and not force anything, we can find peace and calmness. These feelings of peace and calmness are what leads us to having pain relief.
As Joel moved down to your lower back, you let out a hiss in pain, followed by an “ouch that hurts.”
“What hurts darlin’?” Joel said, slowing his deep strokes on your lower back, right above your tailbone area. He doesn’t remember reading in your file that you had lower back pain, so this was something new that caught him a little off guard.
“Right there, low” you said, hissing again as he pressed his finger into the lower part of your back, on your left side, by your hip.
After you hissed a second time, Joel immediately stopped and walked around to the other side of the massage table. He gently pressed on your lower back and hip joint on the other side, saying, “how ‘bout over here, does this hurt?”
“No, not as bad,” you said. “It's my left side, god that hurts.” You said, as he reached over and lightly pressed on your left side once again.
“Ok, let’s try somethin’,'' Joel said, moving completely over to your left side now. “I’m gonna hold up the blanket, where you still are covered, and I want you to flip completely on your back, okay? I wanna see if your pain continues in a different position.”
You nodded your head and then gently felt the blankets pull off from you. Joel was completely looking away from you, giving you privacy as you turned to lay on your back instead of your stomach. When you finally settled, you told him that you were ready. He then informed you that he was only going to uncover your left leg, to the mid thigh region. As he did, he explained how he was going to test your leg's range of motion to see if it was your hip joint that had caused you pain.
With only doing simple joint motions with your leg, Joel noticed that nothing was painful. When he bent your knee, pointing your knee outwards towards the left, followed by gently lifting your leg higher, to open up your pelvis more, he didn’t see any outward signs of pain from you.
“If I do this, does it hurt?” He said, placing a little weight on your leg.
As soon as your knee got about level with your pelvis you hissed again. Joel tried pushing down on your pelvic joint to determine where it hurt, but all you did was whimper. The pain wasn’t coming from your joint, it was coming from someplace else deep inside of you. When he returned your leg back down he said “I’m sorry darlin’, I can’t determine where your pain is coming from. Have you had it-”
“Just forget about it” you said, turning your head to the opposite side, closing your eyes as you felt the tears start to stream down your face.
“Hey, none of that, '' Joel said, gently turning your chin towards him so he could see your face in its entirety. “If somethin’ is hurting ya, I wanna hear about it. Help me out, where does it hurt?” When you didn’t respond right away he said, “does it hurt here” as he gently pressed on your hip bone. He watched you shake your head no. “How about here?” He asked, moving slightly inward, towards the inside of your pelvic bone.
With a shaky breath you said, “no, but it hurts straight down, but lower and inward more.”
“Here” he said, moving down about halfway where your hip joint was, towards the inside of your pelvis. You let out another shaky breath, closing your eyes as tears fell more from your cheeks, shaking your head no to him.
It took Joel a second to figure it out. But when he did, he finally understood why you were crying. You were embarrassed about what was happening inside of your body. When he moved his hand down towards the lower left side quadrant of your abdomen, and gently pushed where your ovaries were, he asked, “does it hurt here darlin’?” As soon as he applied a little bit of pressure to your left ovary area, you let out a stuttered breath, nodding your head up and down.
Joel flattened his hand on your tummy, where the sensation was, knowing what the culprit was. You were probably mid cycle and ovulating with an ovarian cyst. He didn’t remember you being pregnant, but he wanted to make sure that it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy before he ruled it as an ovarian problem.
“If I press over here, does it hurt?” Joel said, pressing on the other side in the lower abdomen. You had your eyes closed, tears lightly falling, shaking your head no.
“Ok, ok, darlin’. I know, I know. Deep breaths for me though, ok?” he said, as he watched tears stream down your face. He gave you a moment to collect yourself, before he asked his next question.
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” He said, slowly stroking your tummy where a baby would be laying. He knew he shouldn’t, but somehow imagining you having a swollen tummy where a baby would lay was giving him fantasies that he didn’t even know existed.
You let out a sarcastic laugh, saying, “no, it’s not that.”
Puzzled, Joel looked at you and said, “y’know, if an ectopic pregnancy happened, y’still could have a normal period. If there’s any chance that you could be pregnant, like having unprotected sex, or even if the condom broke, you probably should-”
“Joel, I haven’t had sex in 3 years,” you said, barely above a whisper. When you noticed the shocked look on his face you turned your head away from him adding, “guys really don’t want to have sex with a woman like me.”
“What’d y’mean, a woman like you?” He said, furrowing his brows at your odd phrasing.
“A woman who’s sick with autoimmune, Joel.” You said, closing your eyes and trying to pull back the tears that were threatening to fall again. You didn't want to have this conversation, and you sure as hell didn't want to admit how the act of even having orgasms were difficult for you. There were just some autoimmune embarrassments that you wanted to keep to yourself, no matter how much it shattered your soul inside. You didn't feel like a beautiful, young, sexy, attractive woman that you knew all the other single 29 year old ladies felt. You felt like you couldn’t offer anything to the male race that wasn't medical tests, sickness, and heartache combined.
Immediately Joel felt irritation and anger at your careless comment of how men wouldn't find you attractive or want to be with you. Without dwelling on it, Joel did the one thing that he knew he shouldn't, he opened his mouth to speak more on the issue. He hoped he could get you to understand that not all men were like this, that he sure as hell wasn't like this.
“Darlin’, boys, not real men, are like that. A real man wouldn’t allow sickness to stop him from wantin’ a beautiful woman like yourself. A real man would enjoy making you feel good. Real men, honey, not boys.”
Once he said it, Joel knew that he shouldn’t have opened his mouth, especially with the look that you were giving him. You looked back at him, shocked, and taken aback by his forward statement. But he couldn’t just stand there and listen to you accuse men, like him, of not caring. He would do anything to be with a beautiful woman like yourself, whether or not you were sick with a permanent illness.
After your head caught up with Joel's statement on men, you just shook your head. You then gave him a genuine, honest to god, belly laugh. “Yeah, well, Mr. Miller, show me where a real man is who wouldn’t care about all of that. Tell me who he is, because honestly, I haven’t found one single guy out there who’d be willing to have a real relationship with me because of this illness. And for the record, I can’t even get a guy to fuck me with no strings attached either. Not that I’d want that, cause I don’t do the casual sex thing, but still, you get it.” You said, snapping right back at him.
It was Joel's turn this time to look shocked. He thought to himself, why the hell has no one treated you right? He could see that you were exhausted with your own body and with your own life. He could tell that you were exhausted at the reminder of what you didn't have, of what your autoimmune disease had taken from you. He wondered if you ever truly tried, or if you just gave up right away. The longer he looked at you, the more he realized that you had tried, but obviously you weren't successful.
As you sat there partially propped up onto your forearms, you felt the tears well up into your eyes once again as you watched Joel look at you. You were embarrassed at what you had said. At admitting how easy it was for everyone else in the world to have relationships, everyone except you. Hell your own family even disowned you after your diagnosis stating that it was “too hard for them to handle.” So you've been doing this on your own, all alone, for the past 3 years. Exhausted didn't even come close to describing the way that you felt.
As you gently laid back down at this realization of loneliness once again, silently scolding yourself for opening your mouth, you accidentally hit the back of your head on the table, muttering “shit” under your breath. After a moment, you heard Joel let out another long sigh and then he gently grabbed your chin and said, “hey, look at me.”
When you looked into Joel’s eyes, he was staring back at you with concern and tenderness lacing his features. Joel saw your frustration and array of emotions, and he felt like it was important for him to take away all those insecurities by telling you that he wasn't like all those other boys you were with. With a slight smile, he gently cupped your cheek and said, “darlin’, a real man, like me, doesn’t fucking care if you’re sick or not. Men, like me honey, would take care of you regardless of the problems that you have. And honestly, it’s a damn shame that no one has ever taken their time with you, making sure your needs were met. If I was with you, I'd make damn sure you were enjoying it the entire time.”
Joel then removed his hand and placed both hands on the side of the massage table, stepping back and exhaling through his mouth as he looked down at the ground. He knew he needed to end this session right now. He's already stepped over far too many lines, and if he didn't watch it, he'd cross an even bigger one of showing you how a real man gave a beautiful woman pleasure.
You laid there watching the turmoil unfold on Joel's face. He wouldn't look up at you, kept staring down at the floor, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet periodically. He had checked his watch several times, attempted to clear his throat once, and had quickly glanced out the window. You knew those signs, he was trying to find a nice way to end the session or end the conversation. The more you watched him, the more upset you got.
After Joel stood there staring outside for a while, he finally cleared his throat again. “I- uh, I think Dr. Anderson can probably help you better, she’s very good with this type of stuff,” he said, waving his arm at you, but not looking at you.
When he straightened up to walk away you closed your eyes and said in a soft voice, “Please, please, help me.” You wanted to keep your voice steady, but you found that it slightly cracked at the end, which made you internally scold yourself. You weren't a weak person by nature, you couldn't afford to be with a disease that was slowly destroying your organs and killing you from the inside out. But somehow you felt like you were weak, like you were just a shell of the person that you once were. At first, when you asked for his help, you didn't know what exactly you were asking for. But as the seconds ticked by, with him not answering, you realized that you were pleading for him to see you.
Without looking at you, Joel asked in a gentle tone, “what do y’need help with?” When he turned back around towards you, his eyes were closed, and he was taking several steadying breaths. He was trying to calm his nerves and to silence the war that was going on in his mind. His mind was screaming at him, reminding him that this was inappropriate patient-doctor conversation or relations. He knew he needed to stop. So it shocked him to hear himself say a little louder, “Darlin’, what do you need help with?”
You just stared up at him, searching his face to see if what you wanted to voice was okay for you to do. You wanted him, as a man, to find you attractive and to touch you. But how could you ask him to go against all of his code of ethics as a medical provider just to touch you like a husband would touch a wife, desperately and passionately. You didn’t even know if he was married, or even in a relationship with someone else.
As Joel opened his eyes, he looked down at you, and it was then that he knew what you wanted. You were looking at him the same way his ex-wife used to look at him from time to time. When she’d plead with him to fuck her, to silence all her insecurities in her head. He hasn't seen a woman look at him like that for almost 20 years, and it did something to him. It made his resolve crumble instantly where he said ‘fuck it' in his own head, and he gave in to his primal instinct of helping you as a man, not as your doctor.
“Baby, come on. I ain’t gonna ask y’again. What is it that you need, honey? Tell me, and I'll do it.”
“Joel, please,” was all you could say, begging him with your eyes, trying to tell him what you wanted.
“No, now, come on. Y'gotta use your words for me. Be a good girl and tell Daddy what he can do to help you and make you feel better.”
As soon as Joel had said the word daddy, he instantly scolded himself. But when he saw your eyes glaze over with arousal at the name, he knew what you wanted. You lightly whimpered and started squeezing your thighs tight together.
Joel felt dizzy for a moment as blood rushed fast to his cock at your whimper, his cock hardening to the point of being painful. But this wasn't about him. This was about you, about showing you that a real man, like him, could give you affection and attention like you so desperately needed.
He walked towards you, gently placing his hand onto your thigh, lightly stroking it. He was trying to center you and help you communicate with him in what you wanted and needed. He knew all of this was wrong, but he couldn't help himself, especially when you begged him to touch you.
“Joel, please, touch me,” you said, while grabbing his hand and guiding it to below the blanket to where you were practically throbbing.
“F-fuck,” Joel slightly moaned, closing his eyes at the feeling of you not wearing any underwear as he touched your slick velvet folds underneath the blanket with his hand. Your lips were slightly swollen, aroused, and desperately needing attention. You were making a mess on his table, slick pouring out of you from your needy little hole. You wanted Joel to help soothe the ache deep within you, to take your pain away.
Joel slowly moved his finger down to your center. Feeling your pussy spasm and clench around nothing. He rested his finger at your opening, not pushing his finger inside of you just yet, but slowly stroking it with feather-like touches. “Baby, we shouldn’t do this” he said, still slowly circling your opening, and not stopping or pushing his finger in. He needed to hear your verbal confession that you wanted this, that you wanted him. As Joel felt your hole clench a second time at nothing, he said, “baby, please, say somethin’.”
You moaned slightly while opening your hips up to allow him better access to you. “More” was the only audible thing that you could say at the moment. And that's when Joel’s resolve fully crumbled, and he pushed two fingers knuckle deep inside of you, stretching you perfectly around him.
“Fuck baby, that's tight. Ya squeezing my fingers in a goddamn vice.” He said, growling low, followed by a soft grunt.
You willed yourself to relax, to allow Joel in more. To allow him to get deeper within you, to where you knew that you needed him. To say his fingers were a stretch was an understatement. His fingers were longer and thicker than what you were used to. It was a comfortable stretch, but almost borderline on being painful. You've never been stretched out this much with just fingers alone. If you had to guess by his slow movements he was doing right now, you thought that Joel was a very experienced man, especially when he curled his fingers and found that spot deep within you that you've never found before. As soon as he hit it, your eyes rolled back in your head and you softly moaned “fuuuck.”
“There she is, right there huh, baby?” He said, angling his hand a bit more to get a little deeper as he started to stroke your g-spot with those perfected come hither movements.
Joel was good at three things: First, he was a very hard worker. He had the perfect street smarts to own and operate two successful businesses in his lifetime. Second, he was an amazing father. Always listening and being there for his girls. And finally, he was an attentive lover. He listened, and found what worked for every woman that he’s ever been with. He knew how to fuck a woman just right, and how to bring her the most and best pleasure. And that was something that he made sure you understood at the moment with his fingers.
As Joel continued to work his magic with his fingers, pushing them a little deeper inside of you, and picking up the pace in stroking you, you felt your walls spasm more. You let out a low moan, breathing starting to become erratic as the sensation of pleasure took over your body. You were right, you obviously hadn't had a good fuck for a long time, especially considering that you were not far from coming undone on just his fingers alone with no clit stimulation whatsoever. And if you could describe the feeling that you were feeling right now with his fingers moving inside of you, you would describe it as being ‘fucking fantastic.’
Joel found himself matching your small moan with a groan of his own, especially when he looked down and noticed your pussy was dripping all over him. He slowly started withdrawing his fingers, giving you time to adjust, before pushing them back in. It was obscene, the wet squelching noises that your beautiful cunt was making for him. You were biting your lip, eyes casted away from him. He gently grabbed your chin with his other hand, turning you towards him while saying “no darlin’, eyes right here. Ya keep ‘em on me, ok?” He said, as he slowly kept pushing his fingers in and out of you. He kept up the slow pace for a bit, working you up, not wanting to fully tip you over the edge just yet. He knew that you needed this, that you needed to enjoy the experience.
“Joel, it feels- fuck, it feels, it feels,” you were at a loss for words at the moment. You were struggling to keep your eyes on him right now, fighting them from wanting to roll back into your head at the sensation of pleasure.
“I know baby. Fuck, just listen to her, she needs this huh? Your pussy needs this, doesn’t she? This. Nice. Slow. Finger. Fuck, huh?” He said, slowing down more and thrusting harder with his fingers at every word he said, drawing out your pleasure more. The longer he fucked you slow with his fingers, the more your pussy gripped him hard, sucking him in, not wanting him to leave. You were panting, starting to squirm, getting lost in the pleasure. Joel wanted to tease you a little longer, but he figured you weren’t used to this kind of play. Something he intended to do next time he had you alone, preferably in his bed with you begging for his cock.
When Joel saw you start to match his thrusts with your own, he knew it was time for him to tip you over the edge. So Joel really started to finger fuck you you now, the way that he knew women liked. When he did that, you cried out at the stimulation and surprise of his actions.
“Shhh baby, it's alright,” he said, cooing at you to quiet you down. “Now, darlin’, you’re gonna be a good girl and come all over these fingers, ok? Then you're getting a full refund today. I don't charge money to finger fuck my clients.”
You nodded your head, trying to keep your eyes open as Joel massaged the inside of your velvety warm walls, getting closer to the edge. Your toes were starting to curl, breathing was very erratic. You were getting very close to cumming.
“And lastly sweetheart,” he said, putting pressure down on your lower abdomen, and curling his fingers in a way that he knew would make your vision go blurry, while building a firm pressure sensation inside of your abdomen. “You must communicate with me with your words when something doesn't feel good, or if you want me to do something differently. You know your body better than me honey. I don't, so help me make you feel good. Okay?”
Fuck you were wrecked, seconds away from crashing through, or into, a brick wall with an orgasm, you thought. This felt different though, so much different than what you’ve ever experienced before. “Joel, fuck, pressure, it’s a lot of pressure and I’m, fuck, I’m, I’m-”
“Come f’me sweetheart. Come on baby, fucking soak my fingers” Joel growled in your ear as the rubberband inside of you snapped hard. When it did, your cunt seized around his fingers as you felt the gush of fluid come out of you, he made you squirt for the first time. Your vision went white, ears ringing, legs shaking from the intensity of it all. You’ve never come so hard ever in your life, and you couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped your lips around Joel’s hand that was now covering your mouth. He continued to fuck you through your orgasm, whispering “good fucking girl” with a strained voice as he watched you come undone. His own pupils were blown wide, eyes impossibly dark with lust, wanting nothing more than to bury his cock deep inside of you, to feel you spasm around him hard like this. But that would have to happen at a later time. Today was about you, about giving you something that you needed, attention from a man. You were a beautiful woman, and you deserved to have a man take care of you in this way, and other ways too, even if you did have autoimmune disease.
Joel continued to slowly work you through your high, pumping his fingers gently in and out of you. When you finally came back to Earth, he removed his soaked fingers from your cunt and then he slammed his lips hard against your mouth, kissing you fervently. You licked the seam of his lips, asking for access into his mouth, which he quickly granted. You two were wrestling your tongues together, each seeking dominance over the other. Joel has never been kissed like this, with so much passion that he hated pulling away from you mere moments later, gasping for breath as his heart raced out of control in his chest.
“Fuck woman, no one’s ever kissed me like that,” he said, gasping for breath. Joel placed his forehead gently against yours, eyes closed, breathing you in as his heart rate slowed in his chest.
“Do you want me to take care of you?” you asked, laying your hand gently on his crotch, feeling him buck slightly into your touch beneath you.
“No baby, I wanna do this right, take ya out first, if y’don’t mind.”
“You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean-”
Joel snapped open his eyes and stood up looking at you, furrowing his brows. He then shook his head and said “don't”, and walked over to the sink in the corner of the room to wash his hands. You sat up, chewing on your lip, overthinking things once again. After a moment of silence you heard him speak when he shut the water off.
“I'm not some 20 year old punk ass boy who only cares about getting his own rocks off, darlin'. I don't do that sort of thing. Now, if you don't want to have dinner with me, then that's fine. But I'd really like to take y’out.”
“Like a date?” You asked, looking into his eyes hopeful.
“Yes baby, like a date.” He said, standing in front of you, holding a robe up for you to take to cover your naked body up.
“Yeah, but what happens when I- when we- when it's done? Or what happens if I can't because of this- because of autoimmune?” you say, motioning your hand up and down at your body.
Joel took a big breath in, and then slowly let it out through his nose. He then cupped your face with both hands and said, “ok, I'm gonna stop you right there. First, I don't fuck on the first date, ok, so don't worry your pretty lil’ head about it. And second, I don't give a damn if we have to reschedule. I understand you have autoimmune disease, remember I've read your file.” Joel immediately winced at that reminder, of how he has crossed every line in the sand with his actions. He didn't know how he was going to explain to Dr. Samson that his treatment wouldn't work with you and that he was going to refer you to Dr. Anderson. It was going to cost him big time, he knew that. Dr. Linda Anderson wouldn't just drop it, she'd want an explanation. But Joel couldn't think about that right now, he'd deal with it and her later.
“But Joel it's-”
“Do you not want to go out to dinner with me?” He asked, the color draining from him face. Did he read you wrong? Were you just looking for a quick orgasm and nothing more? He rubbed his neck in embarrassment, thinking he completely fucked up at your signals once again. “You-uh, you don't have to say yes if you don't want to. I mean, if I read you wrong you can- uh, no pressure to say no.” He was internally scolding himself at this entire situation, of how much he's fucked up today. His ex-wife was right, he thought, he definitely doesn’t understand what women need nor want. Proof was here, right in front of him, with your reluctance to say yes to just dinner.
Joel turned to walk out, mumbling “I'll give you some privacy to get dressed. I'll tell Ashley to give you a refund when I see her tomorrow, don’t worry, she’s already left for the day. And you can just forget about today if you want, if I made you feel uncomfortable. I’ll sorry, I just-”
“Stop, please,” you said, grabbing his arm. “Don't leave. Everyone does, everyone leaves me. I-I want you to stay with me right now, please.”
Joel stopped and looked at you, seeing the gears in your head turning. After a moment he said, “please honey, ya gotta tell me what you're thinking. I can't-”
“I want to go out on a date with you Joel, it's just, don't have high expectations or hopes for me, ok? Men do, and then as they get to know me they- they get mad when I don't meet something that they wanted. I- this- it’s hard ok? It’s hard ‘cause I have a gorgeous man in front of me that I've been attracted to since the moment I saw him, and all I want is for him to see me. To really see me. And I- I don’t wanna fuck that all up where you hate me, or think I’m a failure and I- I should just really stop talking.” You said, laughing at yourself and blushing at the fact that you just spilled all of your insecurities in the air to a stranger. A very hot stranger, but a stranger nevertheless.
“Honey,” he said, grabbing your hand softly. “I want all that too and, if I'm being honest, I'm a little scared of a date too as it's been a long time since I've done this. The whole dating thing, it hasn’t been a priority of mine for a while. But I wanna do it f’you, with you. We can take it slow, we can figure it out together, ok? How does that sound?” Joel then leaned in and gave you a soft, delicate kiss on your lips, one that immediately calmed your nerves.
“Ok, yes. Dinner would be great,” you said, a tad breathless after Joel pulled away from kissing you. You took a moment to compose yourself, to will the butterflies to calm down in your tummy at the thought of getting a chance to have a date with this man.
Joel watched the blush rise up in your cheeks, and if he was being honest, it flattered the hell out of him. That a simple gentle kiss could get you all hot and bothered, where you were blushing for him. “Ok, good,” he said, smiling. “How about I pick you up around 6pm this Saturday?”
You nodded your head, and noticed that Joel furrowed his brows at the lack of your speaking to him again. You quickly said, “Saturday would be perfect.”
Joel stood there for a moment, glancing over your features, looking at you intently, making sure that you in fact truly wanted this. Once he found what he was looking for, he stepped back and gave you a small smirk.
“Ok, darlin’. Now for life's biggest, and most important question. What toppings do y’like on your Pizza?” Joel decided to take you to his favorite pizza place on Saturday. When he saw you smile, he knew that he picked a good choice.
“Well Miller,” you said, while giving him your best playful smirk. “You’re just going to have to take me out to find out.”
End of Part 1
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel and reader#pedro pascal#joel miller masterlist#the last of us#joel miller smut#joel the last of us#joel x f!reader#joel x oc#joel x reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel miller x y/n#joel massage therapist#joel miller and female#joel and female#joel x female reader#joel miller x female reader#female autoimmune#tlou hbo#the last of us hbo#original character#original story#joel miller x f!reader#f!reader#f!reader chronic illness
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some truly untapped potential for werewolf stories is as an allegory for chronic pain. like Lycontropy is rare so werewolves are often left explaining it to their own doctors if they get properly diagnosed with it at all, and having to rely on the community of other Werewolves for solutions and aid because the medical community has largely tossed them to the side.
I love the idea of Packs being less like families or bloodlines but as people who've made connections over their shared experience and are bound together in solidarity.
werewolves who get bombarded with "Try adding more fiber to your diet" "Try yoga" or "Try losing weight" anytime they mention their condition.
lycanthropy is on a sliding scale where you have good days and bad days and people not understanding how you can be a werewolf even if you look perfectly human right now.
the act of shifting, turning into a wolf, being painful or at least leaving you in pain, and how you just sorta have to deal with that pain as a baseline for your life.
just...werewolves with chronic pain.
#I'm sure this is applicable to lots of hidden disabilities/ chronic illness but I have chronic pain so that's what I know lol#werewolves#werewolf#werewolf imagine#monster imagine#horror#chronic pain#story idea#werewolf x reader#werewolf boyfriend
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A/N: I was back and forth on posting this tbh. The medical stuff is all things I'm currently going through and it was written as more of a self comfort/vent but I figured I can't be the only chronically ill hockey girlie out there so here it is
Warnings: Seizure;medical care. Um I think that's it
Pairing(s): Jack Hughes x y/n; platonic!Nico Hischier x y/n
It was Jack's 1st game back after his hard fall into the boards, messing up his shoulder. I wanted nothing more than to be at that first game and fuck the consequences. Jack was the absolute best boyfriend a girl could ask for. Nevermind someone like me. I have several health issues that make things incredibly difficult and unpredictable for me and Jack has been the most supporting and helpful man throughout everything. It took soo much convincing but I finally talked him into getting me into his 1st game back.
Jack pulled his car into the player lot and put the car in park before sighing and running his hands through his hair before looking over at me in the passenger seat. "OK,y/n, do you have your apple watch on? Do you have your med bag?"Jack asked as he searched my face for any evidence that I wasn't quite right. "Yes! Apple watch is on! Nico has been activated as my primary contact on my alerts and I have my med bag. Baby, I'm OK. I promise. We know what's going on. We know how to handle it. It is what it is. You just go out there and play! I know how much you've wanted to get back out there" I tell Jack as I cup his cheek across the center console and smile at him reassuringly. He let's out a deep breathe and starts gathering hid things to get out of the car. "I do feel a lot better knowing that you'll be with Nico. He knows all your stuff and how to help you." Jack admits as he steps out of the drivers side and straightens out his navy blue suit before rounding the car to open my door. "What a gentleman" I smile at him teasingly as I step out of the car and kiss his cheek.
I kept my outfit pretty causal and comfy. A oversized "Hughes" jersey covering most of my frame with black leggings and converse. Jack grabbed my hand and took my bag from me to carry himself. I squeezed his hand and smiled as we began our walk into the arena. The walk wasn't too far from the parking lot but my apple watch beeped 3 times before we even got to the player box where I'd be sitting with Nico and some of the other WAGS. Jack looked at me anxiously. "J, I'm OK. Just high heart rate. I'll grab water and rest. I promise." I assure him"Baby, please just promise me that if you feel anything, tell Nico or press your alarm so he can help you get your meds, OK? Don't wait and see. If you gotta ask yourself if you feel weird then you feel weird." Jack explains holding me close by my waist. "I promise. I'll be ok. You just go play your game,superstar." I wink at him before kissing him. He peppered kisses over my whole face and was reluctant to let me go until Nico popped up next to us in a classic black suit. "Hey Lovebirds! Nurse Nico reporting for duty" he salutes as he takes my bag from Jack and slings it over his shoulder. "I got her, Jack. Go hit the ice!" Nico encouraged, which caused a sparkle of excitement to shine in Jack's eyes. "There it is!! That hockey glimmer!! Go show 'em what you got, J!" I giggle at his excitement and kiss his lips as I jokingly shove him out of the box with the help of Nico.
Nico helped me get settled in the box and laughed as he saw a piece of cloth sticking out of my bag. "You did not bring a blanket to a game" Nico teased with a smirk. I just shook my head and laughed "Jack was worried that I'd be cold and uncomfortable so he got me this and insisted I take it with me tonight." I told Nico as I pulled the blanket out of the tote bag and threw it over myself. The blanket had pictures of Jack printed all over it. I laugh with Nico as we look at all the pictures and wonder where the heck he found something like this. I reach into my tote bag and pull out a pink make up bag and hold it up for Nico to see. " My med bag will be in my tote bag. You are now connected to my apple watch since Jack and Luke won't have their phones nor do I want them to come off that ice to come help. Nico, promise me you won't call the bench staff down their if something does happen? I don't want him to leave the game because of me. I'll be ok. We know that." I plead with the captain. He nods and looks at me shaking his head "I know your seizures will pass with time and aren't dangerous to you, y/n, but they are scary. I can promise that I'll do what I can to keep Jack on that ice even though he will definitely have my head after the fact but I can't promise I won't get medical in here if too much time goes by." Nico compromises. I nod understanding where he's coming from. "That's fair. Thank you Nico. I appreciate you sitting with me and being my baby sitter. I hate feeling like such a burden." I laugh at my baby sitter comment and so does Nico before he stands up and checks his phone. "You are never a burden,y/n. Now I'm gonna go get you some water and a pretzel! I saw the heart rate alerts." He said as he held his phone up in the air. "Thank you neeks!" I shout as he left the box breifly to get me water and a salty snack.
Nico returned with my provisions just as the New Jersey Devils zipped onto the ice for warm ups. I stood up holding onto my blanket with one hand as I scan the ice for my favorite number. 86. I found him pretty quickly. His skating style looked effortless even in warm ups. He glided across the ice and snapped pucks into the net like it was second nature because it was. This was his element. He smiled from ear to ear and the crowd raved as the camera showed him on the big screen for the 1st time since his injury. My eyes watered at the sight. It made me so happy to see the man I loved doing what he loved. To see the fans going crazy over him. He deserved all the love he got. All of it. The puck dropped and the crowd roared with excitement as the devils lines changed and Jack hoped over the boards for the first time. I cheered and jumped in excitement as he glided around the 200 foot rink back and forth like it was a walk in the park.
He was truly incredible. Some days just walking the apartment on my own was a challenge. My legs would decide not to work or foot would get stuck completely sideways for hours on end. As I watched his athleticism on the ice, all I could think about was how easy it was for him to pick me off my feet and help me from bed to the bathroom when I needed help. When he needed to help me into a bath to sooth my pissed off body by basically helping me move limbs that were stuck in different positions. His strength both physically and mental was admirable and I just adored seeing him use it for what he truly loved. Hockey. He truly deserved all of this.
As my train of thought returns to the game, I see Jack take possession of the puck and sprint towards the goal. He shot the puck and in the net it went!! I jumped up and yelled as I high five everyone around me. Nico's phone beeped and he grabbed my shoulders, placing me back in my seat. "Yep yeah he scored. Easy there, y/n" Nico said as he tucked me back into my chair with my blanket and held up his phone. High heart rate alert. "I fucking hate this Nico! I can't even watch a hockey game like I use to anymore!" I complain as I try and refocus on the game. "Your body is fighting,y/n. You are fighting. You just gotta listen to your body. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, you know? And Jack thinks the world of you." Nico does his best to comfort me and I smile at his words. "Thanks Nico. I just get frustrated. I just want life back to how it was" Nico nods in understanding before replying "Don't worry,y/n, you'll get it back. You're too strong and too stubborn to accept any other fate" I smile at Nico and he just nods and returns his attention to the game.
The rest of the game was fairly uneventful for the devils. Jack had his goal and even got an assist but the team was still trailing. It was early in the 3rd period when I felt my head bob. My right eye scrunched almost completely closed and just like that the seizure hit. Nico was on top of it before the alarm even hit his phone. He reached into my bag and got my med pack before giving me my meds. I was able to take them before my jaw completely locked and my head fell. My eyes rolled in different directions and my face scrunched on one side. My left leg curled in and my foot wrenched inwards. My whole body was shaking. My hands were clenched so tight my nails began to leave little cresents on my skin. Niko noticed my hands clenching and did his best to open my hands and shove my blanket in them to cushion my palms. Time ticked by and I was still stuck in a seizure. Niko asked one of the other people in the box with us to get medical. The sounds of the game echoed in my war accompanied by a sharp ringing and some of the voices around me.
I felt someone put a blood pressure cuff on my arm and someone trying to ask me questions but it felt like I was stuck in my own body. Unable to speak or move how I wanted. Thank God for Nico. He told the medics everything they needed to know. He'd witnessed my seizures before and knew there wasn't much that could be done but wait them out and make me as comfortable as I could be. The next thing I know I feel people lifting me onto something like a bed. I couldn't quite place what was happening or what was going on. I felt a pinch in my arm but didn't flinch or respond to it despite the pain.
***Jack's POV***
Jack was on the ice and had just hopped over the boards to sit in the bench for a minute before his next shift. That's when he looked up and saw a commotion in the box he knew you were in. He was immediately worried and looking around trying to piece together what was going on. His next shift came too fast but he jumped over the boards and skated around the ice. There was no other way. He had to do something. He needed to know what was going on. He flung his stick out in front of him and tripped one if the other players. The ref immediately threw up an arm and blew the whistle sending him to the penalty box where he just stood looking up at the box looking for a familiar face. He plopped down on the bench and leaned towards the attendent sitting in the box with him. "Excuse me? My girl is sitting in that box up there and something is happening. Is there anyway you can find out for me? Please" he asked and the man just pulled out his radio and did what he could to figure out what was happening. Jack watched the time tick away as his penalty expired and he jumped back on the ice. How the hell was he supposed to focus? There were 4 minutes left of play and Jack took the face off. He knocked the puck back to Haula who started skating towards the net. Thus was the longest 4 minutes of his life. Every icing call felt like a stab to the heart. The final buzzer finally sounded and Jack was the first guy off the ice as he raced back to the looker room. He pulled off his jersey and pads and tossed on a hoodies he had hanging in his stall. He then swiftly unlaced his skates and took off his leg padding leaving him in just compression leggings before he threw a pair of slides on his feet and barreled out of the locker room doors. He ran right into Nico. "Dude! What's going on? What happend?" Jack asked as Nico just grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the exit. "She had a seizure. Her meds wouldn't break it. Medical came in to keep an eye on her and they gave her more meds to break the seizure but she just kept seizing. They took her to the hospital." Nico explained as he dragged Jack to the parking lot and into his car in record time before Nico jumped into the drivers seat and reversed out of the parking lot.
"Shit. She hates hospitals." Jack said running his fingers through his hair. "Was she acknowledging anything at all?" Jack asked as Nico drove. "No she was completely out not communicating. They injected meds into her arm and she didn't even flinch. She was really out of it" Nico explained. Jack rubbed his eyes as he thought about her needing him and him not being there. "She made me promise not to tell you during the game. She didn't want you off that ice,man" Nico said already knowing that Jack was thinking about why no one came and got him. The rest of the ride was quiet as Jack stared straight ahead at the road and shook his leg. Niko pulled up to the emergency entrance of the hospital and Jack jumped out, running through the doors to the front desk. "Hello my girlfriend was taken here earlier. Her name is y/n. She had a seizure" Jack rambled as he ran his fingers through his hair while he waited for the nurses response. "Mr. Hughes. This way" the nurse said as she led him through a big set of double door and down a hallway to a door and opened the door for him.
He entered the room and saw y/n in a bed asleep with the blanket he gave her and a bunch of monitors attached to her. "Is she OK?" Jack asked as he neared the bed and sat in a chair right next to her. "She was given seizure medication twice. Once when medical first arrived and again while she was in the ambulance. Her blood pressure dropped really low and she was still seizing so they gave her that second dose. She was awake and talking but she's exhausted. We drew blood to figure out what's going on and are waiting on those results." The nurse explained. Jack just shook his head and held y/n's hand "She has an autoimmune disorder that causes brain inflammation which we think causes the seizures and a ton of other symptoms and we just found out she has Lyme disease which can trigger the autoimmune issue so it's just been a mess. Her seizures were so much better tho! She started treatment for Lyme disease and she hadn't had one in about 3 weeks until today. That's the only explanation we've got about the seizures." Jack explained to the nurse who wrote down what he said. "Sounds like there's a lot going on. I'll fill the doctor in" the nurse smiled politely before exiting the room.
***
I gently squeezed the hand I felt on mine as my eyes fluttered open and landed on the beautiful blue eyes of Jack. "Well, that didn't go as planned." I joked smiling at him as he stood from the chair and kissed my forehead. "Baby! Are you OK? How do you feel?" Jack asked as he held my face with his hands. "I'm OK,J. I promise. Just came on really fast and long. Wasn't expecting it" I said as I scooted over in the small bed and picked up my blankets for Jack to get under with me. Jack smushed into the bed with me and pulled me close to him as I buried my head in his chest and he held me close and kissed my head. "It's the unexpected part that scares me the most. They can just come out of no where. And you made Nico keep it from me til the game ended! That's not happening again,OK? If you need me, I'm there. I don't care where I am or what I'm doing." Jack said as he played with my hair. "I didn't want you to leave your game,J. I'm OK. If it was anything serious, it would of been different but this is just another day. Another seizure." I explained, tearing up at the frustration of everything that's happend and that continues to happen and go wrong. Jack softly kisses my forehead. "We'll figure this out,sweet girl. We will get through this together. You are so fucking strong"
#hockey#nhl#hockey tumblr#new jersey devils#jack hughes#nico hischier#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes fic#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes imagines#jack hughes x reader#writing#chronic illness#seizures
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I love you mobility aids.
I love you canes I love you forearm crutches I love you compression gloves I love you compression sleeves for knees and elbows. I love you rollators I love you wheelchairs I love you back braces and neck braces I love you power chairs I love you leg and arm braces I love you screen readers and hearing aids and everyone who spends the time and energy to actually help physically disabled people of all kinds.
I love everything that helps disabled people live our fucking lives
#PLEASE TAG SUCH IF YOU REBLOG AND ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED#i am a hearing and seeing person#disabilities#physical disability#chronic illness#disabled#chronic pain#disability#deaf#hard of hearing#blind#paralyzed#this post is about physical disability#compression gloves#compression sleeves#wheelchair#ambulatory mobility aid user#dynamic disability#screen readers#rollator#cane#forearm crutches#back braces#neck brace#leg braces#arm braces#power chairs
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Eclipse of the Valley Chapter 1:
The Eclipse
You are in desperate need of a change of pace, an out of the mentally draining life you found yourself in. With the combined inspiration of a total solar eclipse and letter you probably waited too long to have opened, you find yourself moving to the tiny community of Pelican Town nestled in Stardew Valley.
But what happens when there's more magic to this town than you thought, and you realize that you weren't the only one to move into the farm? With nowhere else for your surprise, animatronic roommate to go, it seems like he'll be staying with you for the foreseeable future and he isn't as alone as he first appears. Hopefully, you'll be able to come to terms with your new roommates and maybe if you play your cards right you might just get them to open up to you.
———
(Please ignore how bad the pixel art is it was my first time ever trying it)
#Eclipse of the Valley#EotV#EotV au#my writing#sun/moon x reader#sun/moon x y/n#fanfic#fan fiction#dca#dca fandom#fnaf dca#daycare attendant#fnaf sun and moon#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#dca sun#dca moon#dca au#sundrop fnaf#moondrop fnaf#dca fanfic#the daycare attendant#fnaf eclipse#dca eclipse#eclipse x reader#eclipse x y/n#crossover fic#crossover au#chronic illness#chronic pain
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A Cinematic Lover Chapter 1
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f reader
Word count: 3.7K
Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI (no smut in this chapter), mentions of substance use, chronic illness, endometriosis, fibroids. (Reader doesn't have any physical descriptions or implied characteristics but does have chronic illnesses and is explicitly diagnosed as having endometriosis, fibroids and vaginismus, which will be mentioned in more detail in further chapters).
Summary: Dieter Bravo is a fan of a screenwriter and may have a small crush on her. He seizes the opportunity to finally work with her on her latest project but is this more than a crush?
Note: I plan to finish/post the next part of The Miller's Buttercup on Monday or Tuesday. I've just been toying with this idea for a couple of weeks now and really wanted to finish part 1 (I wanted to procrastinate) and was inspired to finish it after reading some of the wholesome Dieter x horror lover fics by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist (I was procrastinating and reading their fics, would recommend you do the same).
Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy :)
P. S the Dieter Bravo gifs are killing me
*********
Sati Gajjar was talented, there was no doubt about it, she was finally getting the recognition that she deserved and her name was becoming a hot one to work with. She was down-to-earth but assertive, articulate yet kind, and passionate with a clear vision always in sight. She was your best friend and had been ever since you two met in middle school maths, a subject you both couldn’t stand.
You’d both quickly bonded over books, music, films and television. Media marathons quickly became a staple in your friendship. You both loved storytelling and started making short films together in your early teen years. Sati was articulate but she wasn’t quite the wordsmith or poet that you were, you had a way with words and a million ideas for stories. Sati brought your words to life, she was direct and she knew how to make people listen, she knew exactly how to utilise a set, actors, and a camera to make your ideas better.
You were a dynamic duo. Most of the work in both of your filmographies were collaborations but with more opportunities, schedules and life you’d both recently done some non-dynamic duo projects. This film was not one, it was your first time working together properly in what really wasn’t long for industry time but felt like forever for the both of you. Your last project together was technically writing an episode of Black Mirror that Sati directed, it didn’t line up though as you were working on something else in Australia so you weren’t on set together and during the writing process it had just been the usual influx of back-and-fourth messages and some video calls.
Sati wished that you were here now, you both had producing credits, Sati was directing and you had written the script, it was a Blumhouse Productions feature which was big for both of your careers. You were in Australia wrapping up filming of an HBO Max limited series you’d created, written and were a co-Showrunner of. It had been your biggest creative responsibility yet and you were anxious and sleep-deprived, which Sati was well aware of.
Your presence was missed more in the current circumstances, Sati had a meeting with the lead actor in your new picture, Dieter Bravo. It was clear that he wasn’t super interested in being at this meeting, which didn’t please Sati but she didn’t let it show.
Sati absentmindedly tapped her fingers against her chair as the actor sunk further into the chair in the office, he looked like a slob and had his sunglasses pulled down low on his nose. He was visibly hungover and his head was pounding, his agent Abby was far more involved in the small talk than him. As the conversation continued it became clearer that nobody else was joining, Dieter interrupted Sati and Abby by snapping his fingers and then saying your name.
“Hmm?” Sati asked looking over at him. She wanted to like him as they’d be closely working together but while she found this behaviour somewhat intriguing for the enigmatic reputation of Dieter Bravo, she was finding it off-putting and concerning for his potential work ethic.
“Where is she?” Dieter asked. Abby sighed and rolled her eyes, she had already told Dieter that this meeting was just with the director and that you were unavailable, it was no secret to her that your involvement was a significant factor in him taking on this role no matter how much he tried to downplay that fact.
“Unfortunately for us, she’s wrapping up a project at the moment, post-production in Australia. She sends her apologies though and will be with us for production.” Sati calmly responded, smiling at Dieter.
Dieter groaned lightly then pushed his glasses up a bit more and nodded. It was too early in the day to be talking about work for his liking especially with a hangover. Meeting you was the main incentive for being up this early, he knew you wouldn’t be here but he still held out hope that maybe you’d have shown up. Dieter was a fan of your past work and he wouldn’t admit it to his agent or the director across from him but he had a little crush on you, despite the fact that you’d never met. He was sure that Abby knew this though.
As the meeting eventually wrapped up, he lazily shook Sati’s hand and left. She was nice enough and she was firm, Dieter could tell she wouldn’t be impressed with his antics, he imagined you wouldn’t either if you two were so close, he’d have to keep that in mind.
**********
You didn’t know what a healthy sleep schedule was, your sleep schedule had always been atrocious. Cramps were in full swing and could feel a distinct pain in your ovaries and bladder, yay for endo and fibroids you bitterly thought. You didn’t have your period but you were experiencing a mild flare-up, which was part of what was keeping you up, along with the general stress of life. You were an anxious bean to your core, a fact you’d never argue with.
You sat at a desk, sipping some peppermint tea and with a heat pad down your pants as you reviewed the final cuts of episodes while following along with a heavily annotated and doodled-on script. This show had been filmed in Australia and post-production was based here as well, a lot of the creative talent on this show was local which you’d liked being involved with. But you would also be the first to admit that this job and the timezone difference certainly didn’t help with your already problematic sleep schedule.
It was almost 2 AM for you, you heard your phone vibrate on the desk and looked over. It was Sati, seeing her name and picture light up your phone screen made you smile, you loved her more than anything. Rubbing your eyes, you picked your phone up quickly, almost clumsily dropping it
“Hey boss,” you answered, somewhat tiredly but your tone was still chipper, more than what was natural for this hour.
“Not sleeping huh?” Sati playfully questioned, well aware of your sleeping habits and what you’d say.
“You’re the one that called,” You responded matter-of-factly with a smirk on your face that you knew she’d somehow know about despite not being able to see your face. “Turns out that a whole new timezone just keeps the sleep schedule just as troubling.”
“So I shouldn’t move to New Zealand and become a sheep farmer?” Sati asked with a chuckle, “Wait for a few more jobs I reckon. But you know I’m in Australia and not New Zealand right?” You joked in a deadpan tone, causing Sati to laugh, “Yes, I know they’re two different countries. New Zealand just seems nicer, less spiders!” Sati dramatically exclaimed. Which made you laugh, nobody had a phobia of spiders quite like Sati, you wouldn’t remind Sati that you hadn’t been attacked by any spiders or seen any gargantuan ones. You’d already done it and she wouldn’t have a bar of it.
You remembered that Sati had had a meeting with the talented but notorious Dieter Bravo and that was probably part of the reasoning behind this call so you finally dared to ask “So, how did it go?”
Sati sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before answering. “He was well, bored to say the least? And hungover? His agent Abby was fine, he didn’t really have much to say.” “Oh?” You queried, his substance use was highly publicised, and his reputation included him being a brilliant actor but an eccentric personality, to say the least. All of these were facts you both were aware of.
“He asked about you, it’s like the only time he spoke.” Sati teased with a confused but amused tone. “Wait what?” You were surprised at that, Sati’s name was obviously bigger than yours, her role naturally meant that she was more of the face of behind-the-scenes work and you had no problems with that. You loved storytelling but you hated the spotlight from a young age. You’d had people compliment your scripts but you’d never had someone as big as him express an explicit interest solely in you, well your work.
“Yeah, I swear it was the only time he spoke! He’s a big fan of May, Abby made that clear, that the script and working with you was why he wanted the role.” Sati stated, she was well aware of your disdain for the spotlight and your difficulty with praise, and she was glad that you at least got the flowers you deserved out of her awkward meeting.
“That’s so wild-” you said, pausing to yawn and push some loose strands of hair behind your ear. “I can’t believe he’s seen it-” “Of course, he’s seen it and of course he loved it. It was a hit! Remember?” Sati said excitedly with a playful tone in her voice. You smiled and rolled your eyes despite remembering Sati couldn’t see that, “Shut up,” you said playfully, then sighed as you rubbed your eyes, “It’s just still so surreal.”
“Yeah, I know.” Sati laughed softly, recognising your voice was becoming a bit more tired. “Well, I’ll let you go, sleep with the Crocs and whatever else it is you’re doing down there.”
“I prefer brunches with koalas actually Sati.” You remarked. “Well, at least the Crocs don’t have chlamydia.” Sati quipped back, you chuckled dryly and rolled your eyes at that.
“I love you too Sati, well good night and morning to you.” You replied as you felt sleep catching up more with you.
“I love you. See you soon.” Sati said and then she hung up.
You didn’t know what to think, you expected that Sati’s meeting with Dieter would either be an absolute trainwreck or he would somehow disprove his reputation, that maybe it was all an act. You’d never expected in a million years that while the meeting wouldn’t be the highlight of Sati’s day that he’d somehow end up turning out to be a fan of your work. You felt yourself smile at that, and you tiredly scolded yourself, you didn’t need the validation of a stranger and it felt weird knowing that the enigmatic, finicky Dieter Bravo liked your work. It felt even weirder that that had made you smile.
********
It had been a few months since Sati had had that meeting with Dieter and called you. Post-production had wrapped up in Australia and you were now back home in the USA, you were glad to be back home, the familiarity was comforting and put you at ease a bit. Filming was still almost a month away but you had already had some meetings with Sati and other cast and crew members which had gone well and you were having one with Dieter this afternoon. You were curious to meet him and this curiosity grew alongside anxiety with knowing that he had specifically mentioned your work.
You were now at a cafe waiting for Sati, you’d worn one of your black turtle necks with black trousers with an emerald green coat hanging off your shoulders. You weren’t in a creative block but had a million ideas, which was typical as you were entering a project, you’d been typing away when Sati came over.
“God, do you ever take a break?”
“Ain’t no rest for the writers. We’re wicked creatures.”
“You’re not Mike Flanagan, you don’t need to be pumping out at least one amazing thing a year,” Sati scoffed as she sat down.
“It’s just future ideas.” You replied and Sati quirked an eyebrow which made you smile, “I’ll spam you and pick your brain about it later, okay?” She smiled and nodded as she made silly plot guesses as she rested her chin on your shoulder, reading what you were typing as you both waited for Dieter to come.
Little did you know, Dieter was also genuinely anxious to meet you. Dieter looked around the cafe and he quickly saw you and Sati. He felt a blush creep up his neck to his cheeks as he saw you, it was surreal to see you in person. Your face was scrunched up in concentration, you were typing away and Sati was leaning on you. You said something which made her double up with giggles, and whatever she responded with broke the look of concentration etched onto your face with a smirk. You then laughed and took a sip of your water. As Dieter made his way over to the table, he couldn’t help but think how gorgeous you looked when your face was screwed up in conversation but also when you laughed. He wanted to make you laugh and he hoped he’d be able to hear that sweet noise in person today.
“Hey,” Dieter started as he awkwardly fidgeted with his hands, you and Sati looked up at him. You smiled warmly at him and closed your laptop.
“Hey, it’s lovely to meet you-” You put your hand out to shake his as he responded. “Uh, yeah, you too.” He shook your hand gently but firmly, your hand felt so small in his big one, and you felt a tingle as your hands touched which made you smile softly. Dieter felt it too and blushed at the sensation.
Dieter sat down and drummed his fingers softly against the table. Sati got up and looked over at Dieter, “I’ll go and order, what do you drink Dieter?” Dieter answered with his order which made you and Sati both raise your eyebrows at the amount of caffeine but Sati went off to the line.
“How are you?” You asked Dieter genuinely but anxiously. It was bizarre seeing a celebrity as big as him in front of you, you’d be working with him and he was apparently a fan of your work? It was wild. You knew he was attractive but he was also somehow more attractive in person, there was something charming about his tousled curls and the way he seemed to fidget. Was he anxious as well you wondered? Dieter looked at you like he was taken aback, you noticed his eyes changed but you weren’t quite sure what the change meant.
He was taken aback by your question but smiled, he could tell by your tone and the way you were looking at him, it was genuine. It wasn’t the small talk or robotic answer with an expected vague and positive answer kind of question. “I’m alright, how are you?” He answered, he was, he was more anxious than anything but he didn’t want to admit that. You nodded and answered that you were alright as well.
“Were you working on something?” Dieter asked, his warm chocolate eyes flicking over to the now-closed laptop. You nodded sheepishly. “What is it?” Dieter was genuinely curious and wanted as much of a glimpse into your mind as possible.
“Just a few ideas in my head, nothing concrete super concrete at the moment. I’ve been talking to Sati about something based on Violet Paget’s works. I’ve also been toying with the idea of a Medea adaptation for a couple of months, a psychological drama with subtle horror elements.” You replied, feeling a bit self-conscious over a borderline rambling, Dieter nodded and smiled as you spoke though, it didn’t seem forced and it reassured you a little.
Dieter hadn’t heard of Violet Paget before and made a mental note to Google that name as soon as he left. But he could easily see how a story like Medea’s could be adapted into something deeply emotive and visceral, especially by you. He smiled at the thought of how you’d adapt a story like that, something already heartbreaking and expand it in that provoking way into something also beautiful.
“Maybe I could read Jason? If that helps your process or fits a future casting call.” He beamed with a growing smile. You smiled in return which reassured him that his offer wasn’t a cocky move. But you raised an eyebrow in surprise at his knowledge of the story. “What?” He asked, worried for a moment that maybe he’d overstepped and did indeed make you uncomfortable.
“I was just surprised you knew Medea and Jason.” You answered with a warm smile which made Dieter relax again.
“I did my tragedies,” Dieter responded proudly.
“Huh,” You chuckled which provoked him to raise an eyebrow. “Well, we’ve only just met but you strike me as more of a Shakespeare guy I guess.”
“Am I that brand of pretentious?” Dieter asked in a teasingly offended tone. You laughed and shook your head reassuringly which made Dieter laugh.
Dieter was secretly a people pleaser and he desperately wanted to impress you and the ease in the conversation and the laugh he’d gotten out of you relaxed him. It was as you laughed that Sati sat back down.
She was quick to notice the difference in Dieter’s attitude and persona with you present. He was sober for starters but he was engaged in the conversation and he seemed to hang on to every word that left your mouth, which Sati knew you didn’t notice.
The conversation flowed for a couple more minutes and then your drinks were brought out. You sipped on your chai as Sati then spoke about some pacing and shot sequences she had in mind that impressed Dieter. He asked some questions about his character and context which you answered thoughtfully, Dieter knew this would be a hit and easily one of the best projects he’d be involved in.
As the conversation went on he was quickly picking up on your mannerisms. Like Dieter, you were also a fidgeter, you would fidget with the corner of your clothes, he assumed this was an anxious habit but he picked up on that it was something you also seemed to do subconsciously. Sati was clearly the more extroverted of the two of you, she was a bit bolder and it was clear that she adored you but Dieter quickly knew you were the warmer one of the pair. He wasn’t too surprised but he had expected you to be more gloomy based on your works and how you seemed to stay out of the public eye.
You also had quite an expressive face, it would be great for the stage he thought, he also quickly learned that when your expression shifted into neutrality it wasn’t necessarily you being upset but that it was a shift for deadpan delivery. You were witty and some of your humour was silly but you definitely had a dry sense of humour. It always made Sati laugh and she didn’t seem as much of a serious person as he’d assumed when they’d met. You seemed to delight in making Sati laugh, which made Dieter want to make you laugh even more. You weren’t just ridiculously talented but you were kind, caring and funny, wanting to bring laughter to your loved ones. It was true though, you often used humour as a coping mechanism (you still loved a good, big fat cry) and you just wanted to make everyone happy.
Dieter was easy to talk to and you felt surprisingly charmed by him, the knot of anxiety in your stomach slowly untangled throughout the conversation. You knew you shouldn’t have made assumptions but he was surprisingly a good listener, he was attentive, and he asked good questions regarding the project which you appreciated. You wanted to work with passionate people, people who cared and that was always more of a gamble on the slightly bigger projects.
After a couple of hours, cinematography came up and you all spoke about Bones and All, at this point Sati checked her phone for the time and looked up.
“I’m sorry but we should probably head off now, for the next item on the agenda,” Sati remarked.
“How long do we have?” You asked Sati, being absolutely unaware of the time with your phone in your pocket and your laptop closed. “Just under an hour,” Sati responded, you nodded and Dieter tilted his head to look at the both of you.
“I’m sorry, it was so lovely to finally meet you.” You said looking at Dieter, he smiled and blushed slightly, “It’s okay, it was great to meet you too.” He said smiling at you, he then turned to Sati “And it was great to catch up again. Thanks for making the time for this.” He answered.
You all got up and said your goodbyes, he went in the car with his driver that was just outside of the cafe. You put your hands in your pockets and looked at Sati as you both waited for your Uber. “You made it sound a lot more professional than what it is.” You said. Sati looked at you and raised an eyebrow teasing, “It’s important.”
You chuckled at that and playfully rolled your eyes, the next item on the agenda was going to a local cinema for its special screening of Dario Argento’s Three Mothers trilogy. It felt almost rude to end the meeting on that but you had been looking forward to this with Sati so you didn’t say anything.
As Dieter sat in the backseat of the car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly Googled you. The fact that you and Sati seemed to be going to the same “item on the agenda” reassured him that this meeting didn’t end because you had a date. Plus he was certain that you seemed almost disappointed in having to leave, he hoped that wasn’t a delusion. But he still needed to check.
You didn’t have a ring on your finger but that didn’t mean much, your Wikipedia page didn’t mention a partner but there wasn’t much there under ‘Personal Life’, he’d gathered you were a private person anyway. He checked your Instagram and it didn’t look like you had any partners. He knew you and Sati were assumed to be partners often but you’d both denied this and Sati had a long-term girlfriend that the public knew of.
He exhaled and leaned back into the seat, it looked like you were single, well he took the lack of evidence of a relationship as a good sign. He then remembered you’d mentioned Violet Paget, he typed her name in and clicked on her short Wikipedia page. Part of Dieter had hoped that meeting you would squash his little crush but now he just felt smitten.
Tag list: @pedritosdarling @read4funz @undermoonlightwalk @daddy-din @cowboychickenlittle
#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x you#dieter bravo x reader#dieter bravo fic#the bubble#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal characters#chronic illness#chronic illness reader#endometriosis#endometriosis reader#fibroids#horror#the bubble fanfiction#dieter bravo fanfiction#jose pedro balmaceda pascal
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It's me!
[Image ID: A drawing of a boy with black forearm crutches, a purple mohawk, brown eyes, and beige skin. He is wearing a dark gray face mask, gray shorts, Doc Martens boots, socks with the trans flag on them, and a hoodie. His hoodie has dark brown and gray striped sleeves, brown torso, and blue hood. His shorts have two chains on the left hip. The laces on his boots are yellow on the right and purple on the left, both ladder laced. He is wearing a brace on each knee. The background has candy corn in it. He has a left eyebrow piercing and three ear piercings. The bottom two piercings are black hoops, the third is a black stud. He is standing with his right hip jutted out and left leg forward, facing his right slightly. His head is angled down slightly and he is looking to his right with his eyebrows slightly furrowed.]
#drawing#doodle#digital art#chronic illness#chronicpain#chronic disability#other chronic illness bs#chronic disease#chronically ill#disabled#fibromyalgia#undiagnosed chronic illness#disablity#chronic disorder#chronic pain#invisible disability#physically disabled#disability#cpunk#cripple life#crip punk#cripple punk#queer cripple#trans man#trans boy#transgender#trans ftm#screen reader friendly
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When you're unwell - Diluc edition
Diluc Ragnvindr is a busy man, with a busy lifestyle. His daily to-do list is longer than most people’s weekly ones. But all of that comes screeching to a halt the moment he catches wind of you being even the slightest bit unwell. Then, he’s pulling strings and taking full advantage of his prestige and riches to make sure you’re able to receive the best care you could possibly ever hope for.
Large amounts of his work end up being passed on to Elzer, and he’ll often ask Adelinde for assistance when preparing meals for you - she knows just how important you are to Diluc, and extends her full hospitality, setting you up in one of the most comfortable guest rooms available and fussing over you whenever Diluc isn’t there to do so.
Diluc knows just how comforting having company when you’re feeling unwell is, and will pull out all the stops to make sure he’s able to be by your side at your every waking moment, not caring if he might get sick himself.
Even his Darknight Hero duties take second place to you, so he can spend the nights fretting at your bedside and being at your beck and call. No matter how much you insist that you’re fine and feeling okay, Diluc won’t hear a word of it, especially if you’re exhibiting symptoms of any kind. He’s a true gentleman, offering to read to you and keeping you apprised of the current happenings in the city and its surroundings.
Diluc likes sitting at your bedside, holding one of your hands in both of his to make sure you know he’s there for you, even if you’re delirious from a fever or deeply sleeping as you recover. He does whatever work he can from the same room as you so that he’s able to keep a close eye on you as you recover. Most nights, he’ll sleep by your bedside, propped up in the creaky wooden chair he dragged in here from downstairs, or doubled over to rest his head on your legs as he snores softly.
Adelinde fusses over you a little, but definitely not to the same extent Diluc does - she assures you that he has his reasons for worrying so much, and that once you’re better, he’ll settle back down once again. If Diluc finds himself too busy to tend to you, Adelinde will take his place at your bedside once her chores are complete, as she knows Diluc will fret otherwise, and refuse to leave the house at all.
If you’re up to it, Adelinde will tell you a large variety of stories about Diluc, mostly centred around his childhood, as well as the mischief he and Kaeya would often get up to growing up. She may even let slip the detail that Kaeya was often bedridden with mysterious illnesses when he was younger thanks to him having a fairly weak constitution, which explains why Diluc is so fussy over you when you’re unwell.
Diluc will also overload you with gifts in hopes of cheering you up, giving you stuffed animals, new clothes, books, and other such treats for you to enjoy once you’re better.
Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagiarise my writing! I do not consent for my works to be translated and posted elsewhere, or used to teach bots!
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin self insert#my writing#genshin headcanons#genshin fluff#platonic genshin x reader#when youre unwell series#diluc#diluc x reader#genshin diluc#diluc genshin#diluc ragnvindr#diluc x you#yeah anyways chronically ill kaeya my beloved headcanon ever
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So like i'm chronically ill and i suffer a lot from pain and fatigue and it can get really disheartening and demotivating at times.
How do you think Anakin would act with a chronically ill partner?
I’m not too well versed on any chronic illnesses other than POTS (family member has it)
But thinking of her/her symptoms/issues here’s what I came up with:
You wake up stiff and and your joints just don’t seem to work properly? Anakin will be late to work just so he can get your heating pad, your coffee and breakfast, along with some snacks for later. He’ll be so sweet and give extra cuddles before he puts on some bio-freeze for you (he hates the smell but he loves you so it’s worth it)
You’ve had a great day, a productive day, so good that you made plans… and now you have to cancel them. He understands, he likes being home and cozy on the couch with you better than being out in public anyway. He’s secretly happy that he gets to skip out on drinks at the bar with your friends, that means he has you all to himself.
You promised you’d fold the laundry and do the dishes before he got home from work, but you only got halfway through before you had to take a break… that small break turned into four hours. Anakin doesn’t mind, he’s just happy you are taking care of yourself and letting yourself rest when you need to. He hates it when you push yourself too hard and you end up worse off.
He takes you to all of your doctors appointments, he takes off work the full day if he can. He knows appointments are stressful for you (they stress him out too). Anakin will make a full day out of it. Coffee and donuts for breakfast, lunch at your favorite place after. If it’s a long distance appointment he packs you a bag for the car ride full of: snacks, water (no soda or juice bc he has to force feed you water; he knows you don’t drink enough when he’s not home!!!), a book, your headphones, chargers, fidget toys, and most importantly Hot Hands bc you can’t have your heated blanket in the truck😕
Your pain is 10/10 and you can’t even pick up the phone to call him like you do every day on his lunch break. He’s immediately on his way home, if he’s not there already. Anakin has anxiety through the roof when you don’t respond to texts so you miss three? He’s coming home asap. You don’t answer a call? You best believe he’s leaving work without a second thought, he’s not wasting a moment to even tell his superiors he’s leaving.
He manages all your meds for you.
He makes all your appointments and keeps them neatly on the fridge calendar.
He surprises you with little treats as much as possible.
Anakin’s a homebody, he enjoys the comforts of your shared space, so even your hospital stays are treated like nights at home. He brings all your favorite things, doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stay. He’s bringing your pillow, your blanket, stuffies…
He knows more about your illness than the doctors at this point. He’s basically a specialist. Countless hours of research and learning not only to understand it better, but also to help you cope.
He keeps a record of all your appointments in a binder to track your medical progresses/declines.
He helps you get a service dog, he’s so good at redirecting/educating people in public when they get too close or try to pet them.
#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#anakin smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#star wars#anakin x you#sw anakin#darth vader#darth vader smut#hayden christensen#chronic illness#chronic pain
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Willy wonka x chronically ill reader, warnings of doctor and sickness talk! (I have chrons & POTS so this is roughly based on those diagnoses but there’s no mention of set issue)
Willy wonka who’s partner is chronically ill but the doctors can’t find any diagnosis or treatment.
Willy wonka who sits by your side through every trip to the doctor, on the bathroom floor during bad nights, taking note of foods and other triggers.
One day in specific, the day was going well you felt decent for the first time in a while, so Willy takes you to walk around town and sight see. But your head started spinning, your legs felt light, and suddenly you couldn’t hold yourself up, usually you’d have crutches for this, but you’d left them at home. And of course Willy would always support you.
One day, things were bad, you couldn’t leave your bed or the ball you were curled into, dearly clutching a giraffe plushy will had bought you. Will had left to grab you water, and rushed back into your room with light weight, not making too much noise, “I’m so sorry honey I’m back, I’m right here.” He said bringing over your water, placing it right by your side, You weakly looked up to meet his eyes, tears fighting to fall down your face. His expression filled with sorrow as he brought a hand to your chin, carefully listing your face to place a kiss on your cheek, before crawling into bed by your side, you looked to your water, seeing a small chocolate, It was in the shape of a heart, with purple and blue streaks throughout, you’d never doubted Will’s choice of sweets, so you took it into your hands, and slowly ate it. Before drinking a bit of water and rolling over into Will’s arms, which he wrapped around you immediately, making sure you were comfortable, and massaging your scalp. Leaving you to drift off to sleep calmly.
You’d wake up with Willy still holding you, he’d never dare leave you in such a state, but you felt, better? For once in so so long, you felt normal, no discomfort, headaches, stomach aches, it was a miracle, you quickly say up and turned Willy, “Did you?” He just smiled, “it worked?” He asked hopefully, you couldn’t find the words to respond, just jumped into his arms, “thank you handsome, so so much.”
(I need this to be real, I’m dying)
#willy wonka x reader#willy wonka#wonka x reader#wonka movie#wonka 2023#sick reader#chronically ill#chronically ill reader#wonka x sick reader#disabled reader
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i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA ✊🏻, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely
ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW
Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn
Rating: SFW
Genre: fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios.
Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.
🗝️ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one 😓 I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.
Seonghwa
He’s here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.
Hongjoong
HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? He’s down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. You’ve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? That’s cool, you’re getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.
Yunho
The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.
Yeosang
His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you can’t get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.
San
Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and he’s here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.
Mingi
He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.
Wooyoung
He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish you’re craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.
Jongho
Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jongho’s place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, he’s also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what you’re wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. He’s made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.
© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes
All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
#ateez#ateez headcanons#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic fatigue#invisible disability#invisible illness#ateez x you#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x male reader#ateez x gender neutral reader#ateez x atiny#imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz#atiny#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho
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