#this is something i think about a lot. especially when i think about my goals for the future. like opening up a patreon. or making a website
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Genshin SAGAU, Creator of Teyvat, but not Humanity Pt2
I didn't expect such a warm reception, but I'm so glad you guys all liked it!
Your kind words inspired me so much so behold the next part!
Warning for spoilers up to 4.6
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~~~
It all started with a dream.
Well, a lot of things start with dreams, but this one was an actual, asleep in bed, REM cycle dream.
Well, at least you thought it was. But that's neither here nor now.
It was, to your unending embarrassment about Genshin Impact.
Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with likings something so much that you end up dreaming about it, it’s just slightly humiliating when you as a person is not someone who dreams a lot and your first actual proper dream that you can actually remember past the first twenty minutes after waking up is about a fictional 2D character vowing to love and care for you.
Ever so slightly humiliating.
You'd've preferred it if it was an actual person because at least that way you knew you had a crush on a living human being rather than having a parasocial relationship with a giant block of code and text.
Actually, can you have parasocial relationships with fictional humans?
Not the point,
This started with a series of extremely weird and slightly embarrassing dreams about Iudex Neuvillette.
Actually this started when you C6’d him.
Honestly, you did not expect to get anywhere near this lucky, especially since your past luck has been average to low in terms of wishing for characters.
But with him,
Well,
It wasn't quite streamer luck, but you did not have to spend any monetary funds to achieve your goal.
You did have to skip quite a few Fontanian characters, and grind out all the region’s exploration, but you’d say it was well worth it.
The night after you’d gotten that final constellation, you had the aforementioned weird dream.
You weren’t in the dream per say, as you didn’t seem to occupy any physical space,
you well.
The best way to describe it would be a movie scene.
You watched as the man, dragon, stood on a balcony.
The moon’s rays reflecting off of this silver chalice, you could only assume filled with another one of his fancy waters.
But it was his gaze that caught your attention.
It’s cheesy to say, but you’ve always been drawn to the man’s gaze. It was always so sharp, so intentional.
He knew what he was looking at and he did so with reason.
But now, at this moment.
It was unfocused, hazy.
His gaze was not focused on the moon, nor the city lights.
He did not stare at the landscape of Fontaine, nor the glittering waters beneath.
But, he saw you.
You don’t know how you knew, but you did.
You didn’t hear what he was saying, nor could you make out the words his mouth was forming but you knew that it was a call, a call for you.
It was odd but flattering and confusing, but a deeper part of you crooned as his sentiments. A part of you you didn’t realize you had was rising to the surface.
“My child,” it crooned, “my dear Hydro Dragon,”
Neuvillette seemed to startle at that.
You knew you didn’t make any sound, you didn’t even have a body, but somehow he heard it, heard you.
His face flushed, hand grasping at his chest as his murmurs seemed to grow faster.
You didn’t know what was going on anymore, simply that this rising feeling in your chest was growing and growing.
It was scary.
It was alien.
Feelings that were not your own, moments of clarity and nostalgia flash through you, connecting to nothing but faceless figures and a deep sense of regret and loss.
What is happening,
A part of you that you didn’t know about, that you’ve never felt.
Is this what it feels like to be possessed, you recall thinking faintly before sinking into darkness.
~~~
The Iudex of Fontaine stood above all in the courtroom.
With the destruction of the Oratrice Mechanique D’analyse Cardinale, his word and judgment were the last line holding Fountaine to its standard of justice and order.
On paper, he seemed to have it all as the youths may say.
But his identity as the Hydro Dragon may deter from that.
It is already isolating enough to be the Iudex of the nation of Justice and Hydro, but to be the only dragon, were it not something that he had spent his entire lifespan balancing, he feared he could go mad from that.
There is a sense of irony in that.
Focalors's plot put both he and Furina in the highest positions in all of Fountaine, and in turn made them both the most isolated as well.
Although, at least she was released from her duties after the job was done.
While he was and forever will be grateful for her contribution in saving Fountaine, there is a quiet part of him that he’s tried very hard to bury, that is green with envy.
He understood Focalor’s reasoning, after all, once their act was done Furina would be able to live a normal human life and he would be able to regain his powers and authority as the Hydro Dragon.
That was as much as she could do for him, from her limited position.
He was grateful.
But,
His brethren, his kin.
They did not have the same freedoms granted to them.
While he did not have many memories of what happened to the previous sovereigns, nor of his life before the arrival of the Primordial one, he knew that they were most likely sealed away, deprived of their rightful power and authority.
It is his duty as the Hydro Dragon to render judgment upon the Usurpers that massacred his brethren and sealed away his kin. To uphold the standard of justice he has worked so hard to maintain during his rule as Iudex of Fontaine.
He once saw a quote in a popular novel that was making the rounds. “To become God is the loneliest achievement of them all,” whilst he does not recall the contents of the book, the sentiment of the line rings true, especially now that he has regained his authority.
While he and Furina did not spend much time together whilst they were performing their duties, she was a constant presence that he knew was always there. Much like a tree you would pass by everyday on your morning commute, or the singing of birds at dawn. An ever present figure whose loss is sudden and to an effect irreplaceable.
He finds himself missing her, sometimes.
Not that he dares let Sedene and the others know, else they’ll enact some kind of plot to get him to go out and meet more people.
But there was a comfort in knowing that she, just like him, was alone in their positions and would serve Fontaine to the very end.
Not that he dares disturb her well earned retirement, nor does he wish to retire himself.
It was simply,
A shame.
The melusines were the closest equivalent to his dragon kin that he has had over the centuries, and will most likely continue to be for many to come. For as much as their presence filled him with happiness, they do not, and he hopes never will, understand what it truly means to be a dragon.
To be the last survivor of the original people of Teyvat, crushed under the heel of the Usurper king and their shades.
To have to live amongst their people, knowing that while humans are innocent, their creation was built upon the bloodshed and suffering of his people.
There is a unique sense of cruelty in her actions, he reflected, fitting for the successor of one of the usurpers.
Whilst he has no doubt she meant it as an honor, taking him in, raising him to the highest scene of this land, giving him the highest seat of power and eventually returning to him his authority after watching her death.
There were moments, especially when he first took on the mantle and was trying to prove himself worthy of the title, that we would stare out at the people of Fountaine and wonder why he was doing this.
Humans were the reason for the destruction of his people. The Usurper King, sought out this world and destroyed it and it’s civilization so that a new one could be created in place of it. So that humans could be created in place of it.
Human are the reason why his people, why the dragons were destroyed, they were the reason behind all the suffering and pain his kin have gone through and yet.
Yet they were still innocent.
They did not participate in the war.
They did not ask to be created.
They did not deserve to be punished for the sins of their creator.
However that does not make it any easier to stomach.
There is a peculiar sense of humiliation, to be worshiped alongside those who have destroyed your brethren. To serve and protect the beloved children of those who caused him and his people great harm.
It is a cruel and angry part of him that he does not dwell on much.
He cannot, lest it overrule all his rational sensibilities.
Humans are not inherently cruel beings. They are curious passionate creatures who love and care for each other deeply, who are compassionate and curious at their very core.
Whilst during his reign as Iudex, he has seen a great deal of human cruelty and evil, he has also witnessed selfless acts of kindness and compassion.
It is the duality of human nature that strikes him so. He cannot blame them for acts they are innocent of, but neither can he proclaim them to be free of all responsibility.
Truly the most vexing case he has ever dealt with.
Especially since,
Neuvillete frowned as he rubbed at his chest, feeling where the small spark of divine blessing lay within him.
As the reborn Hydro dragon he does not have access to all the memories of his previous incarnations. As such his knowledge of the previous Dragon Sovereigns and the Creator of Teyvat remains incomplete.
But what he does know, what he does remember, is warmth.
The same warmth that now resides in his chest and on his very self.
He does not remember having many interactions with the creator of Teyvat, knowing that the greatest of interactions lay between the Fromitable Dragon Father himself, and the creator of this great realm.
He had assumed that they had abandoned Teyvat, abandoned the dragons. He’d have preferred that to be in case rather than the harrowing alternative of their defeat and possible imprisonment at the hands of the Usurper king.
But deep in his heart he knew that not to be the case.
“A creator cannot abandon their world”, King Nibelung had proclaimed, their Dragon Father was the one who knew the most about their creator after all, he had no reason to dispute such a fact.
Worlds are much akin to terrariums, whilst on the surface it may seem completely self dependent and a skilled enough botanist may even be able to create one that can last years without any need for direct intervention, but even terrariums need light.
They require the sun to nourish its plants and create the water cycle, for all it may seem self sufficient it requires the energy of the world outside it’s glass container.
That is very much the situation of Teyvat.
For as much as Teyvat seems to have taken care of itself, the world is breaking. Ley lines disorders have become more and more common, abyssal energy roams around, attaching itself to unsuspecting creatures. Bodies of dead gods spread harmful miasma around, polluting the earth.
If the creator wanted to destroy Teyvat, it would be as simple as cutting off the power of the Leylines, putting out the sun, or any myriad of actions that would destroy this very world.
They did not, instead they still provided this terrarium with bits of light. Enough for it to survive, but not enough to thrive.
They still cared enough for Teyvat to sustain it, but not enough to intervene when it so clearly was struggling.
The creator he knew was not like that, they took no pleasure in toying around with others.
The only explanation for this was that they lacked the power to give Teyvat the help it so truly required.
That realization was horrifying.
Nauvillete could only sit and wallow in his own helplessness as he watched the situation in Teyvat decline over the centuries.
Until,
Well,
Until the Traveler,
The witness from beyond the stars.
They have been given a great many titles in their journey through Teyvat, and have undoubtedly more than earned all of them.
What he did not realize, is that they also had another title, unbeknownst to all.
A title given by a presence beyond all that they’ve encountered.
A title that they most likely did not even know of themselves.
The Creator's ∎∎∎∎
They carried the essence of the creator within them, it was clear they were beloved, it was clear that they were back.
The creator had come back.
And they were kind.
A part of Neuvillette feared that they would be much like King Nibelung, furious and desperate to do anything to drive out those that did not belong on Teyvat.
Perhaps they were at some point, but it seems that that point is not now.
The Traveler that acted with their blessing was kind,
They cared for those around them, human and non-human alike.
But they were not naive, willing to dispense justice upon those who deserved it.
If this was the person the creator chose to represent their will, perhaps their return will be much more peaceful than their disappearance.
Neuvillette had contented himself with that thought back then, throwing himself into his works as he had to deal with the threat that was the prophecy.
Little did he know that with time, the creator would bless him in much the same way.
The same blessing that sits in his chest at this very moment.
It has been months since he had been blessed as well as the completion of the prophecy. A selfish part of him wished that he would receive more since then.
Through his investigation he has seen many others, being blessed just as he had, gaining strength and power beyond their previous limits.
But they were not dragons.
They were not the creator’s original creation, their children.
Is it unfair for him to hope that he’d be treated differently.
Perhaps, the age of dragons had long passed already, and humans have dominated so much of this world that it is hard to deny that they are the driving force behind Teyvat.
But still,
He hoped,
He prayed,
Until,
The skies glowed.
Not the stars, mind you,
The sky
It was akin to the opposite of a solar eclipse, the night turning into day.
A surge of energy filled his body.
Not like when he regained his authority, that one was a wave of pure power cascading upon his person, placing responsibilities and burden on his shoulders alike.
This one was kind, gentle, hopeful, excited.
Is this what it feels like to take drugs, Neuvillette thought faintly.
Synth was incredibly popular on the market for its ability to create unprecedented euphoria in its users. If this is what those people felt then he understood why they were willing to go to such methods to achieve this feeling.
“My child,” the power crooned, wrapping itself around him, embracing him with all the tenderness of a loving parent,
His mouth formed the words he could not bring himself to say,
The power purred with reassurance, erasing pains and aches that he didn’t even know he had, before fading from his body.
His arms reached out in desperation, hoping to capture that feeling again to no avail.
Their presence was gone,
But their blessing remained
It certainly remained and it was stronger than ever, this power surge he feels is akin to receiving his full authority once more.
Whilst many worries and doubts he had about the future still remained, one thing was made clear.
He was beloved, he was wanted, and the creator would keep him safe.
~~~~~~
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Let me know what you think! I love reading your comments and feel free to send me asks about it as well!
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It’s interesting seeing documents from both books and online that can showcase the divide from generations in the gay community. Be it with language , culture , fashion etc.
It seems like we go through a push and pull and always end up going around in circles.
Like around the discussion of the use of partner , butch femme identifies, politics etc.
Certain generations of gay people crave or long for or push for what was denied of them in their times , younger people will mainly see the points of those who have come just before them and then might push for the opposite.
Like with partner for example. I’m just speculating so I could be way off. But based on what I have read and the discussions I’ve had with lesbians my age, much older and younger , what I can gather is in the past the big push for the general use of partner with both gay and straight couples was that normalisation. And I think a lot of these came from times when pushing for gay marriage was one of the biggest things going on the community. Wanting to not be seen as other and just the same as their straight counterparts.
Especially in online spaces you see a lot of older lgbt members absolutely flabbergasted and confused over why young lgbt members feel like partner should be a gay only term or why they get let down if they find someone in a straight relationship using partner. It was something older generations really pushed for. This is the fruits of their labour because it was so important to them at the time.
But now I think with stuff like covid, lack of gay spaces (at least the same way they used to be), a massive online presence and just general loneliness many young people are facing in modern times , you have younger people craving community. Craving things they have seen in the past. Craving ways to find and communicate themselves to each other.
It’s not that one group is right and one is wrong , it’s just the goals and desires are different.
I think you see that with Butch Femme culture sometimes too. There were times where many lesbians felt pressured into those labels and they talk about it in a lot of the books I’ve read. But then there was also a massive push back against the culture where they were seen as outdated and many lesbians were shamed OUT of butch femme culture.
The way society changes and what has come before us often shapes what the younger generations of community will try and push for.
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adding to discourse cuz i thought of quinn during the toronto game (and everything circles back to the canucks for me)
i remember seeing this
and getting worried about him but at the same time i knew he was gonna cook something for the next period
i remember some people were shitting on him for not keeping his emotions in check and being a good captain (tho others were praising him for being a captain that cared that much about the game)
well, the game ended 6-4 canucks, and quinn factored into 3 goals including the 2 in the third period that secured the win
i guess the dots my mind is trying to connect is the fact the ends justify the means. who cares if natemac or quinn throw “tantrums” (not tantrums but any display of emotions really) when in the end they produce points? to the masses, they’re fueling fires that result in wins so theres no reason to call them whiny
i feel bad for mitch here bcoz that one tantrum of his (from yesterday when willy kinda yelled at him) is spinning a whole new narrative and ofc its not justified that he showed frustration becoz it didnt result in a win (he did get the only goal for the leafs tho, which people will say is too little too late)
other dots in my mind: hockey culture and the display of emotions?? but idk what else to say abt it
i hate when people call players whiny (especially when its quinn, gtfo) because i think its a tense environment and emotions are high, so let the emotions out (this is NOT an inside out ad but the nhl x inside out commercial was funny) anger is normal and its okay to show it yknow 🧿 emotions DO need to be kept in check but we shouldnt shit on ppl for showing it either
idk its a lot of thinking, what do yall think 🦕
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Hush Hush Honey:
A guide on how to regulate oversharing and balancing the conversation flow.
Each one of us has at least been in a situation where we accidentally ended up spilling more than we should. We do recognise the patterns but are unable to control ourselves. That's why your girl Ash-says is here to say a lot about it.
1) Find the why
What are you trying to achieve by sharing that piece of information? Drama? Attention? Get it off your chest? Is it important to inform them? Is it valuable to them?etc.
First tackle the why. Before you go in to reveal something ask yourself if it goes with the conversation flow and if yes is it really important to share it.
2) Are you a celebrity?
No like why? Who is interested in your life so much? Are those people paparazzi to broadcast your current events and bring you fame? No right. So shut up.
3) Who puts their dirty laundry on display?
When you overshare you are basically putting all your secrets, stuff that you do or did on blatant exposure. People are going to judge you. That's the very nature. So breathe and keep it inside.
4) Try to listen more
Train yourself into listening more than speaking especially in group settings or around people that you don't know much about. Gossip is real. You don't want to be the next tea time sensation.
5) Alternatives for talkative people:
Now I know you might be thinking can't say this can't say that then how the hell am I going to bond with people or what should I converse about?
I have developed a solution for you. It's Ash verified because I myself have been using it unknowingly for around 7 years of my life.
Never open your mouth for passing judgements, expressing your opinions on things that do not relate to you, your dirty laundry, secrets, family issues, relationship issues, your sex life, your goals and aspirations, your daily routine, your political standpoint,etc you get where I am going right?
Instead speak about the experiences you had while travelling somewhere, some goofy stuff that happened to you, your harmless vice for example: I am clumsy so I have a lot of incidents that occur due to it which can be told in a funny way. It adds a nuance to my perfectionist image plus helps people warm up to me. Movie shows, songs, etc here also there's a catch if you relate to a show/song/ piece of literature strongly never reveal it. The smart ones will understand the inner workings of your mind.
Never let them know your next move.
If nothing of this then goof around being nonsense. Do little hand gestures, funny faces if you are bored but never overshare.
6) Be mindful of interruption
Practise practise practise. Literally that's the only way. Try not to interrupt people while speaking. There's no roundabout way. It is what it is.
7) Be comfortable in silence
You have to be okay with the conversation dying down. Running your mouth dry will only result in one sided convo. It's more useless and harmful than the one mentioned before.
8) Know your limits
Fix in your brain what you can share and what you can't. Stick to it. Even over your dead body.
9) Be genuinely interested in people
Ask yourself are you asking questions to really get to know the other person or just looking for a chance to talk about yourself? Dethrone yourself first and then interact with others.
10) Put out stuff that you are over with
Always remember what you say can and will be used against you. Drill it and from next time when you speak be mindful that every word can stand against you. Do you have the capacity to handle the consequences? Yes then go ahead. No, then stop live streaming.
Bonus point: Be as private as possible on social media. People don't need to know what you are doing nowadays. Privacy is power. What they don't know they can't ruin.
Strategically put things out. I am not saying be inactive. In Rome you live like the Romans. Do it smartly.
That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.
#girlblogging#glow up#it girl#self care#that girl#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#self love#becoming that girl#dark feminine energy#becoming her#wellness#advice#motivation#self development#self help#self improvement#dream girl aesthetic#dream girl#it girl aesthetic#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#coquette#ash-says#femme fatale vibes#femme fatale#feminine energy#level up journey#level up tips#thewizardliz#wonyoungism
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do you think the obsession with ‘style consistency’ in online art communities is mostly caused by this idea that your art style needs to be easily marketable & recognizable as a brand (especially when you’re working as a freelancer). i see the /least/ amount of progress in my art whenever i try to aim for style consistency. i don’t know exactly where i’m going with this but i think there’s some sort of connection between trying to monetize/market your art & limiting your growth as an artist. and i think it’s very sad.
#in theory i don't really want to monetize my art i just want to make things. but if i was going to make money out of anything#i'd at least want it to be something i like doing. you understand my problem.#i don't know if i posted this before & deleted it. i have a tendency of deleting my thoughts as soon as i post them. but#this is something i think about a lot. especially when i think about my goals for the future. like opening up a patreon. or making a website#i don't know what makes my art 'my art' other than the fact i made it. i don't know how to theme my future patreon or my website#and it stresses me out thinking that i'll do better if i can market it in a specific linear way#that isn't really natural to how i think about art in general
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Voyager insisting that Tuvok and Janeway never go into each others quarters - meanwhile I (the arbiter of truth) know for a fact that they are always in each others rooms, occasionally wrapped up in the same blanket, sometimes falling asleep in the same bed etc.
#Voyager writers are liars and cowards#they are best friends and by god...if I have /anything/ to say about it they're gonna be so comfortable and intimate with one another...#and I have a /LOT/ to say so v_v they are#Tuvok&Janeway are like...all other Vulcan-Human friendship goals to me and that's how I think of them interacting in my mind's eye#No one else can even touch Tuvok's shoulder without him looking like alarm bells are ringing but then you see#Janeway resting her chin on the top of his head and complaining about something which Tuvok replies to - getting a laugh out of her#Tuvok is Janeway's oldest friend and the only person she has an uncomplicated relationship with aboard Voyager and I want them to act likeit#She vastly outranks everyone else and Chakotay is Maquis + in love with her so that's complicated...Tuvok should be the guy she#can really just let loose and be herself with (especially earlier in their journey)#I love two people who seem to be (and are) very serious but when they get together they get a lil goofy with it#Everyone on Voyager thinks Janeway & Tuvok sit around drinking tea and being serious when they're alone together#but really they're hardcore goofing off (AFTER work is done of course) bc they really deserve it...life is hard in the delta quadrant#they deserve a little 'drink a milkshake as fast as you can in an unspoken competition to see who gets brain freeze faster'#st voyager#Tuvok#Janeway#Janeway only going to Tuvok for advice? BOO. Go to him so you can annoy your best friend with random bullshit
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pain is temporary shara brainrot is eternal
#mar.txt#oc tag: shara#slowly working on a shara-centric fic.... it's going to have a lot of rambling things in parentheses bc of how they are#anyways i'm mostly joking when i call myself xyz thing's number one fan but also like. i am very much planning to save money to comm someone#for a giant plushie of them. and a figure/statue too if i'm able to comm someone for that#i can and will spend a ludicrous amount of money for merch of my faves especially when BOTH of them have little to Nothing#my dad says the plushie is a waste of money but like#it isn't to ME bc it'd make me happy and probably help me sleep and it would bring me comfort#is it not enough for something to do those things to make it have value? must it serve some other more 'important' purpose than simply#bringing me happiness?#i'm well aware that it'll be over $2000 (understandably! plushies are expensive to make by hand especially giant ones)#and i'm fine with that. i don't live on my own yet so i don't have bills to pay or anything so i figure i should treat myself with expensive#things i want while i'm still Able to#and i desperately want a plushie of shara. a shame i know nothing about plushie making so idk if what i'm envisioning is too complex or not#rather. i think it IS doable but idk if it's too complex for the person i'd like to comm to WANT to do it yknow#but tbh. i'll take whatever it is i'm able to get#anyways i got rambly in the tags again oops#i just think shara is neat and getting a giant plushie of them is a goal of mine
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Daily Log 7
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)
Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.
Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT
Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..
Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )
Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V
Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)
Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..
Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.
Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.
Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now#just want to do worldbuilding I want to work on the language I want to do these sorts of things#furstrating to just walk around in a haze all day unable to focus on mental tasks like that#One of the most important things in my entire life actually is being able to think about little elves and magic and etc.#annoying to have multiple days in a row where I make very little progress on that aside from thinking of a few little story#ideas or something here and there. I should have had the text translated already and finished the worldbuilding slideshow#already and made a game set in my world already and so on and so forth.. grr#There's another upcoming heatwave again and summer is soon so I think it will only get worsw#the more often I feel warm and sick or cant sleep due to the temperature etc.#But I am trying to catch up somehow.. a little.. lol#I think it's very common to feel like you're not making enough progress in life on the things that matter the most to you#especially during capitalism and with low income and mental/physical health issues and during a still ongoing pandemic#threat and etc. etc. etc. like.. Logically I get it and I know it's not something to be too worked up over because that's just how#probably half of the population feels at all times especially people who are in similar situations to me#but still.. my brain is like Yes i know the facts of the situation No i do not care#if someone else came to me like 'ough Im feeling so unproductive for xyz reason' I'd reassure them and talk about how#it's situational and a lot of people feel that way and it's the system we live in and blah blah#but when it's ME it's like.. No.. This Situation Is Different Of Course. Surely It Is Much More Terrible#If You Haven't Finished Your Entire ToDo List By The End Of The Week Then The World Will Explode#ANYWAY..#daily log
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#the facilitator of my Shabbat hosting lab (it’s a fellowship program) is wonderful and I know that she wants to be as inclusive as possible#and she does! we gave her feedback with various people having different opinions about the weekly homework writings and she quickly made it#optional. she made the requirements for what we had to host flexible from the very beginning#because the curriculum she was given says that we have to host a Shabbat dinner (specifically that and nothing else Shabbat related) and#have at least 8 guests#she made it so that the goal was 8 but she wasn’t going to punish anyone for less. I’m aiming for 3 and she’s completely fine with that#it also doesn’t have to be a Shabbat dinner. it can just be something Shabbat related/related to what we’ve discussed during Shabbat#and when I talked to her about my conflicts (because one of the few things she can’t change are the dates of our two weekends to host)#she brought up the idea of designating a different day for shabbat— lots of people who have to work Fridays and Saturdays (especially rabbis#and Jewish leaders) do it#she also gave me the option to just postpone it which was so kind#I think part of that was because I had started crying almost immediately after starting to explain my situation#(not necessarily because that was the thing putting so much stress on me that made me cry but just because between everything piling up and#being in a ton of pain (which always makes me more likely to end up crying over small things) and being able to voice a problem I was having#to a person I trusted just ended up with my brain going ‘that’s enough. we need to open the floodgates and it’s safe to do so’ so I cried)#but part of it was that was just how she did things. she prioritizes our experience and learning over us meeting an arbitrary quota and#she’s just so kind#it also helps to know what there do exist people who are willing to accommodate me in a non-classroom setting#based on the weather forecast Friday and Saturday are going to absolutely suck for me pain wise#and I mentioned the weather and she immediately made the connection between the weather forecast and worse pain for me which#I wasn’t expecting to be honest. but it was nice to know that she understood and thought about that stuff#i just want to not be in pain#all my joints hurt so much
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Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
#writing#creative writing#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#writing tips#writing advice#writers block#novel writing#fiction writing#writer#writers of tumblr
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PICK A CARD: What are your most alluring qualities?
🂺 "Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." ~ Edgar Allen Poe~
Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is meant to help uplift your spirit and highlight qualities about you that transcend space and time and manage to energetically get picked up by lil ol' me. Who then tries to put that inexplicable beauty into words. :)
p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4
☀︎ Pile One ☀︎ (nine of cups, magician rev., moon rev.,hanged man, page of cups, queen of cups)
⇾ Pink. Yellow. Fuzzy. This feels so warm, there's heat around my waist. Maybe you’re a dancer? Do you like to wear very big pullovers or extra garments around your waist? Corsets? I’m getting a strong emphasis with an attraction toward your waistline. Also, a very airy feeling in my ribs.
⇾ You’re fucking hilarious. Your ability to uplift any room’s vibe is extremely attractive. Strong water energy, Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, 4th, 8th, 12th house. But not as emotionally heavy. Not the thunderstorm but the sunny, dewy morning after. Literal sunshine. You may have a signature scent. Coconut, vanilla, brown sugar. Before shuffling your cards, my nose was congested but while I was channeling, I had these moments where air would pass through the room, clear my sinuses, and the tingling feeling in my ribs came back.
⇾ You’re a high. A nice clean, mellow high. The brief moments in time when your body completely relaxes and you start flowing with the wind. People are addicted to how you make them feel. Your energy feels like the first hit of that oui. wink wink. People get a hit of your energy and it feels like an escape. This is my intuitive and sensitive dreamy pile. There is a lot of emotional depth here, you’re enigmatic. Being in your presence transports people to a simpler time in their lives. A period where the sun shined brighter, the air was cleaner, and all the color in the world felt more vivid. People can sense the storm raging in the back of your head but can visually see your perseverance and ability to not let darkness rot you, keeping this light and airy energy. It’s almost superhuman, you almost seem not real. You’re impossibly infectious.
⇾ You have a lot of natural inner abundance, you attract a lot in life even if you don’t realize it. I’m getting moksha house energy, a strong wheelhouse of influential power. The duality of your sweet, caring but reserved introspective nature is sexy as fuck, to be honest. It is hypnotizing and ignites people. I also see you have attractive skin, whether it’s clear, glowy, or cute moles, I'm not sure. But something about your skin people just can’t help but want to trace and admire. Jupiter/Pisces energy. Sugary sweet and in your own world, I feel like I have a toothache. Rare kind and light energy. Your attractiveness and romantic influence on people is one of your natural talents pile 1. I can see that with the Jupiterian energy I'm getting. You got 3 major arcana cards back to back. You’re a light in the dark and people are moths to a flame.
"You're pretty like a memory"
☀︎ Pile Two ☀︎ (ace of swords, the tower, knight of swords, 6 of swords rev, the magician, 3 of wands)
⇾ Well for starters, you’re SEXXXYYYY. Not just physically, but your wit, intelligence…people’s attraction to you gives me the image of Joan of Arc’s admirers. People perceive you as gorgeous, brave, and intimidatingly capable.
⇾ I’m getting Uranian energy, Yes, something about you is very mercurial, but this is next level. In modern astrology, Uranus is a higher octave of Mercury and symbolizes putting these higher-level ideas into action. Your ability to think of a goal and go after it is attractive. Or have a belief and fiercely defend it. I don’t know if you’re aware, but you have an innate ability to monetize or profit off of your ideas and skills. Especially with all this sword energy, the 3 of wands, AND the magician. Mane, you make shit HAPPEN. You make shit shake. A lot of people say they’re going to do things they have no intention of starting or say things they don’t actually believe. You are a rare exception to that. You put your money where your mouth is, and the amount of willpower and intelligence you possess is intimidating yet so very very attractive.
⇾ There’s gotta be some major concentration in your natal chart, a stellium, a reoccurring modality, sign, not sure but your energy is uniquely focused and intense. You may sometimes battle with excess mental energy. Anxiety, overthinking, etc. You’re a harbinger of change. Wherever you go, major changes follow and there is something very important about your energy. Your footprint in this world is larger than the average person’s. Your sense of self and your loyalty to your authenticity and values is highly admirable. *whispers* maybe even enviable, watch out for negative intentions and trust your discernment.
⇾ Whether you’re a man or woman watching this, you intimidate a lot of men. You’re the creme of the crop so to speak. You are the human embodiment of a warrior. Strategic, brave, and your fire cannot be dimmed. You have this eternal energy to you. Your name will be sung long after you leave this Earth. There will be tales and songs about you. There is an emphasis on making a change and legacy here, 10th house/ Capricorn Energy. Solar and Jupiterian energy is possible too, there's a lot of king semblance here. I feel like your frame is very attractive. Defined muscles especially around your neck and shoulders. Fox attractiveness. Sharp features, or some special emphasis with your lips, jaw, and teeth. There is a lot of sexual attraction in this pile. I was shuffling and getting flashes of old Wattpad enemies to lovers and dark academia rivalry fanfiction 😭😭. I’m getting a headrush. Maybe you feel like a headrush to people at times. You might look good in darker, cool-tone colors or have dark hair.
⇾ You make people aware of their shortcomings and that triggers them. You trigger strong emotions in people. People see you as superior to many, you’re either singled out in a crowd positively or negatively. People either love or hate you but it is undeniable that you are sexy and very fucking capable. You also have the ace of wands at the bottom of the deck…like I said…sexy and capable.
"Don't look at me with those eyes"
☀︎ Pile Three ☀︎ (The tower, queen of swords, three of pentacles, queen of wands, 9 of wands)
⇾ This is my dark feminine pile. 🎶Sheee’sssss a maaaann eeeaaatttttttuuuhhhhhhhh🎶, Ironically, the black cat got chosen for this pile. The tower paired with the two queen cards screams shadowy feminine to me, but balanced. The three of pentacles create a bridge between your intense fire and air energy. You balance your shadowy, detached and your fiery, passionate nature and it creates this intoxicating dichotomy that people can not get enough of.
⇾ You also are reserved and guarded, people can tell it is hard to gain your trust and gain access to your inner world so people subconsciously try hard to earn your favor. When I was laying out your cards my eyes got heavy and I felt like I needed to go to bed. You have a very sultry sluggishness to you. Think about Corpse Bride, how her eyes were always low, she moved slowly, and her voice was low. You have a dark veil over your character that is very alluring. There may be an 8th house or Mars emphasis in your natal chart. Make sure to check your planetary midpoints.
⇾ I am getting a Gabriette Betchel vibe. There's a darkness around the eyes of the man standing in the nine of wands. There is a draw to the shape of your eyes, especially if they droop a little or you have sunken eyes. Maybe you like dark makeup if you’re into makeup. This pile definitely had a crush on Morticia Adams growing up. You ARE Morticia Adams. Pretty Rave Girl is playing in my head, I don’t associate your energy with the rave aesthetic but I get the sense that people fantasize about you. You’re naturally mysterious and detached and most people only have an idea of you rather than a one-on-one connection. You may face a lot of projections, there’s fog around people’s perception of you. Plutonian-type power, insanely magnetic, with Neputinian-type glamour, veiled and shapeshifting. There may be some WLW baddies in this collective.
⇾ I feel like a very small number of people truly know you, you are reserved and selective with your energy and let me tell you, that is the most attractive practice a human being can implement. You are a once-in-a-lifetime personality that people dream about embodying. YOU ARE AN AESTHETIC. Well not exactly, I’m not limiting you down to your appearance. But you are the ideal embodiment of the dark feminine, man-eater aesthetic. The other three piles felt like concepts that I tried to piece together to paint a picture, your pile feels like a tried and true timeless dark sexiness that we've seen in cinema and music videos throughout the years. There is range here though, I’m feeling anywhere between Morticia Adams to Effy from Skins. The allure of Hollywood’s bombshells mixed with the angst and self-guardedness of America’s outcasted teen icons. I’m seeing an emerald snake, if you’re into sidereal astrology you may have ashlesha placements. I could write an entire essay about the fucking bullshit you've endured and THRIVED FROM but this is already getting a lil lengthy lol. Just know that you are living testament to the saying “I get knocked down ten times but get up eleven.” Stay sexy pookie.
"You got your HP Lovecraft... your Edgar Allan Poe"
☀︎ Pile Four ☀︎ (high priestess, two of swords, 4 of pentacles, the empress, knight of pentacles, 10 of cups)
⇾ UHHHH THE DRAAMMAAA. Bae, the high priestess FLEW out. You’re angelic. No mf backtalk. I don’t know about the stereotypical angel, but something about your presence is otherworldly. So intense but hard to conceptualize, can’t classify your energy as anything less than angelic. People see you as something holy and righteous. A theme of fairness and divinity is strong here. I’m seeing the virgin (Virgo, purity) and a gavel (libra, balance and fairness.) Your energy is always in a state of balance and harmony. Temperance did not come out, but I’d bet my top dollar that it would have if I kept pulling.
⇾ I’m hearing a steady water stream and the flaps of bird wings. People come to you for peace and tranquility. Your aura is serene and healing. Being near you is like transporting to a haven with clean water, a sustainable garden, fresh air, and BUNNIES. An image of a ton of white bunnies just came to me. This is not an 18+ reading, so I won’t go into detail but bunnies represent fertility and high sexual energy. You have an abundance of creativity. The best representation of people’s attraction to you I can put into words is like seeing raw energy. There’s this movie that came out in 2017 called Annihilation and there’s a scene where the main character comes into contact with pure energy and is so entranced by it that she just stares at it head empty, blankly in complete awe. THAT is how people see you. Like c’mon high priestess, the empress, 10 of cups, don’t ever fucking question yourself. You have an undeniably divine aura.
⇾ You’re a big deal, you're energy is very enlightening and calm but there is a heavy weight to it. Everything you do in life makes an impression and holds weight. Your thoughts matter, your conversation changes lives, and your very presence makes an imprint on people’s souls. Virgo 6th house, libra 7th house, Scorpio 8th house, Pisces 12th house.
⇾ You also have a very stable, Earthy nature to you with the 4 of pentacles and the Empress. To me, this is pure wealth. You will see a lot of luxury in your lifetime. You are a giver, you have a lot to offer the world. You are the epitome of “fill my own cup and let it overflow to those around me.” You share your abundance and prosperity follows you. You have the divine understanding that life is all about balance and what you give, you receive tenfold.
⇾ People think you look really good in white. Blonde hair could be a good look on you. Any aesthetic that involves purity or innocence really suits you. Personally, I’d say you look fucking killer in red hair.
⇾ With the ten of cups, I’m getting major wish-fulfillment vibes. When suitors see you they hear an angelic chime in their ear (I hear it right now) and music starts playing. DREAM GIRL. By the strictest definition too, you’re very dreamy and your allure is cloudy, people are afraid if they touch you, you’ll float away. You could have prominent Neptune placements. Do you like to sing? Harmoney and melodic sounds keep popping up. I'm thinking of Euterpe, the muse of music.
⇾ Your abundance leaks into your appearance (look for aspects to your ascendant, especially Neptune, Jupiter, and the Sun), you look very youthful and hydrated. It’s going to sound creepy but from a biological, primal-lizard brain perspective, you look fruitful and like you'd bear many blessings and children. Your skin is well hydrated and plump, your hair is strong and luscious, and you look overall very healthy.
"Be Not Afraid."
ahhh that was so much fun! to those who resonated with a pile, thank you for giving me the pleasure of experiencing your energy and reading for you. if you liked it let me know :)
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overcoming self doubt
introduction:
self doubt is something we all deal with. it's normal to have it, but when it gets to be a debilitating thing in your life, it's something that you need to work on. self efficacy is the opposite of self doubt- the belief that you CAN accomplish something. the term comes from albert bandura, a psychologist, and he stated that without self efficacy then you can't achieve what you set out to do.
bandura had a lot of beliefs that he believed could improve a person's self efficacy- a lot of it comes from observing other people's success and having positive role models. so i've combined some of those tips with things that've helped my friends and i :)
overcoming:
change your mindset about failures. failure is unavoidable, so it's important to learn to grow from it instead of breaking down. look at what you can do better next time- mistakes and failures aren't a bad thing if you learn from them.
positive affirmations. positive self talk is proven psychologically to make you feel better about yourself. visualizing yourself doing good is also something that helps. just improving your view of yourself and working on fixing your negative thoughts.
learn from others. when you want to improve at something it's great to observe others who are succesful. for example, when i first started swimming competitively i would watch people swim during meets and observe their technique.
pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. truly the only way to overcome your fears is by facing them slowly. i used to be terrified of water, especially deep water- couldnt swim or tread. now i play varsity water polo and have no problem in 13+ ft of water. the only thing that got me over it was being uncomfortable sometimes. ofc know your limits, but slowly work up to overcoming fears.
building self efficacy:
set goals you can measure and goals that're attainable. it's good to dream big but when it comes to goals set things that you won't have to overwork yourself to achieve. things that
break your tasks up into smaller tasks. biting off more than you can chew can just lead to burnout after a while.
being proud of your achievements. always be proud of your improvement, even if it seems small compared to others. remember- other people's journeys aren't pertinent to YOU. you need to measure your own success, not comparing yourself to what/how others are doing.
having good role models. having role models who've worked to achieve what we want can actually improve how well we think we can do at something. if you see someone did something you want to do, then it makes you realize that it IS possible.
conclusion:
it can take a long time to overcome self doubt and begin to feel confident in yourself. what's helped me a lot is just learning from other people and then being grateful when i make progress. i hope these tips help :)
#that girl 2024#self improvement#self confidence#glow up#that girl#queenofcoquette#pink pilates princess#it girl#healthy habits#self care
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part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8
"I'm just saying, if the heat bothers you so much, you could cut your hair" Nancy points out, after declining Eddie's pleas for her spare scrunchie.
Robin sits on Nancy's lap, clutching the back of Steve's seat and she looks at Steve through the side mirror like she's afraid that he's about to go on a mission to defend Eddie's honor or something but Steve rolls his eyes at her. He's not that gone.
Or at least he knows how to hide it well.
Eddie's lost several of Nancy's favorite hair accessories and two weeks ago she bowed to never lend him any ever again.
Which, does not stop Eddie from asking her anyway at least once a day.
But the point is, even if Steve wanted to, Eddie's honor cannot be defended in this situation.
Nancy's leaning behind Argyle's back now to glare at the metalhead. Steve can see them in the rearview mirror.
Eddie gasps "I would never" he says, clutching his chest dramatically.
Steve secretly breathes a sigh of relief.
Johnathan chuckles at the wheel. "But you could" he comments, eyes on the road.
Steve can see Argyle subtly laughing and shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.
Today is a rare occasion, Jonathan is driving them in Steve's car.
The goal of Steve's rant earlier about having to drive them everywhere was to get Eddie to drive them, so Steve could sit shotgun and watch Eddie drive.
Instead, Jonathan had offered first and then Steve couldn't go in the backseat because he's in charge of their map.
But whatever, this is fine too. He trusts Jonathan and it is nice to get a break and to be able to fully turn around when he's talking to someone in the backseat.
"Jon, I would lose all my sex appeal, you don't get it" Eddie answers, getting a box of Twinkies from one of the many bags they packed and placed on the floor of Steve's car.
"I get it" Argyle chimes in, watching Eddie pull out a Twinkie and shaking his head no when Eddie offers him one.
"You'd still be sexy with short hair" Robin comments from her seat on Nancy's lap.
Everyone turns to look at her.
"What?" she shrugs "I can say that"
Nancy chuckles into her shoulder.
Steve opens their map again to stop thinking about Eddie's 'sex appeal', even as the guy is excitedly munching on a Twinkie in the backseat of Steve's car.
He's got cream in the corner of his mouth and he clearly put more in his mouth than he can comfortably chew. He's leaning one elbow on Argyle's shoulder, his hand holding half a Twinkie, his other hand holds his mop of hair up in a high bun, causing his cut off tank to sit barely covering his nipples, his tattoos on display and his armpit hair fully visible.
Steve's fairly certain nobody else in this car would get it, but to him the sight is mouth watering. The guy is practically irresistible.
"I don't think i would've gone on even half the dates I've gone on if i didn't have my hair" Steve muses, for something to say and to add to Eddie's point, even though he agrees with Robin.
Almost everyone answers with agreeable noises, except Eddie and Robin.
Robin snorts and says "You are relentless"
While Eddie says "You don't get dates for your hair" at the same time. In a tone that suggests he thinks this is an obvious thing.
"I mean- it doesn't hurt" provides Nancy, she sends Steve an apologetic look but Steve waves her off. It's a compliment as far as he's concerned, he loves his hair.
Eddie finishes his treat and opens a new one while everyone else gives their opinions.
"For a lot of people, hair is a big part of attraction" Jonathan is saying, trying to seem like he's not speaking from experience.
"Especially hair as luscious as Steve's" Argyle agrees, leaning forward to lightly comb the side of Steve's hair, making him laugh.
"Thanks, man" Steve says overlapping Eddie's response.
"And I agree!" he exclaims "I'm saying he doesn't get dates because of his hair." Eddie goes on, waving his new Twinkie around for emphasis. "People throw themselves at Steve, and always will, but it's not because of his hair" he repeats.
Steve feels his cheeks heat up but still asks "Then why?"
"Well, because you're very pretty!" Eddie answers easily, like everyone should already know this.
Steve keeps his eyes carefully trained on the map, like he needs to study it meticulously, right this moment, while they're in the middle of a highway.
His cheeks are burning up and he can feel it spreading to his ears.
"And that's if they don't know you!" Eddie continues "If they do know you they know you're kind and brave and strong ...and generous and funny. Who wouldn't want all that in a date?" Eddie finshes.
Oh I don't know, you? Maybe? Do you? Steve thinks.
"Even bald, people would still go crazy for you" Eddie adds, his words slightly muffled towards the end as he shoves almost all of the new Twinkie in his mouth but apparently thinks better of it, biting all but a small piece.
"Here. You want the rest of this?" Eddie offers Steve, talking through his mouthful, and presenting the small piece with his ringed fingers, right in front of Steve's face.
Without thinking, Steve leans forward and takes it with his mouth, his lips burning where they touched Eddie's fingers.
As Eddie retrieves his hand Steve realizes what he just did and how quiet the car got.
He sends Robin a panicked look through the side mirror as Jonathan awkwardly clears his throat.
"Argyle's got nice hair" Robin tries.
The car immediately fills up with enthusiastic agreement and Steve slowly breathes out.
He can't bring himself to look at Eddie as he chews on his bite. He practically licked Eddie's fingers. Unprompted! The guy probably meant for Steve to grab the treat and then eat it. If he even accepted it at all!
Steve feels like an idiot and he frowns at the map again, willing himself to ignore the goosebumps in his arms and the tickling on his lips.
He doesn't see Eddie worriedly staring at him for the remaining of their conversation, until Nancy takes pity on him and offers up her spare scrunchie to distract him.
part 2
#if there's one thing you should know about them is this: they are sooooo dumb <3#steddie#steveddie#steddie headcanon#stranger things#.#i hope the car configuration isn't too confusing here#also i didn't tag the other ships bc they're so minimal and I don't wanna clog those tags#also this could be platonic. or it could be polycule. you decide :)#i might have a part two but don't tell#also if this by some curse this is seen by someone who was there when i acted like Eddie is acting here SHUT UP#this is fictionalized and NOT YOUR BUSINESS#steddie lake fic
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Arcane characters and aftercare?👀🤤
Aftercare with the Arcane characters
VI likes to make sure you have everything you need and pampers you as if you are royalty. She feeds you bits of chocolate, makes sure you drink water and cleans you up. Afterwards, she likes to cuddle with you and discuss what the whole experience was like for you. She always needs to make sure you were completely okay with everything she did and wants to know if there is anything new you'd like to try next time. Vi's goal is to please you and make you feel good, so seeing how happy and relaxed you are after the deed is done means the world to her.
Just like that, baby, drink up. Don't want you to get dehydrated haha, I know that took a lot out of you. Here, have some chocolate, I got you your favorite. No need to thank me, you know I'd do anything for you, sweetheart. So, how was it? I wasn't too rough, was I? Do you want me to be more gentle next time? I know you like it rough but I don't want to risk hurting you, okay? Good, now just relax and let me take care of you, baby.
JINX is always bursting with energy after the two of you are done. She has a lot of stamina so you need to remind her that you cannot keep up with her and that you need rest. So she directs all her energy and focus into taking care of you. She gets very clingy after sex and keeps running her hands all over your exhausted and flushed body, she loves the way it makes you whine so softly. Drags you off into the shower and then lets you take a nap on the couch while she goes out to buy some takeout for the two of you. She is very quick as she doesn't want to make her sweetheart wait for her long and when she comes back, she feeds you and cuddles with you on the couch. Always lets you know how much she appreciates the trust and love you give her.
What is it, toots? Don't tell me I already wore you out? Okay okay, let me just cuddle with you for a bit and then we'll go shower, sound good? Of course it does! Tell you what, how about after we shower I make a quick run to Jericho's and get you your favorite? Gotta spoil my little trinket, you're just too cute! Consider it a reward for being so good for me today, alright? Hey, don't go hiding that pretty face from me, baby! Aw, you're so red it's adorable, makes me want to pinch your cheeks. But really, you were so good for me today, yknow that? Good, I'd hate for you to think any differently.
CAITLYN never wants you to worry about anything, especially when you're this vulnerable and tired. She brings you food and something to drink, rubs healing salve on any sore places and carries you to take a bath. She'll have you sit in her lap while softly washing your hair and body, leaving soft kisses all over your flushed face. Goes heavy on praise because she needs you to know just how good you were for her and how you made her feel good too. As strict and demanding she can be during sex, she is as sweet as honey during aftercare.
You were so perfect for me, darling. You made me feel so good and I'm so proud of you. Lean your head back for me please, I'd hate to get shampoo in your beautiful eyes. There, thank you love, doesn't that feel nice? You're always so good for me that I can't help but want to spoil you afterwards. Oh, you are so darling when you blush, come here let me kiss those red cheeks. You are absolutely adorable!
You have no idea what your satisfied sighs and fucked-out expression do to EKKO's heart, do you? He loves witnessing just how good he made you feel and always needs to know he's treating you right. Loves laying in bed with you for hours, sharing sleepy kisses and meaningful glances. He likes to make small talk to make sure you are alright and that you're not too sore. If Ekko notices you wincing when you move, he gives you a gentle massage while kissing the back of your thighs and shoulders. He tells you how much he loves you and how stunning you are. Just the sight of you laying next to him makes his heart feel so warm and his stomach full of butterflies. Little Man appreciates you so much and sees you as his ray of sunshine in the darkness known as the Undercity.
How was that, babe? Did I blow your mind? Haha, guessing by the look you're giving me, I'd say I did. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Are you hurting anywhere or feeling sore? Lay on your stomach, I'll give you a nice, relaxing massage. You were pretty amazing too, you know that, firefly? You always look so pretty and sound so cute, I can't help but fall in love with you all over again. Okay, okay, I'll stop teasing but I want you to know that I love you and I'd do anything for you, alright? Good, just relax now, I'm here.
SILCO is, quite surprisingly, very gentle with you. He knows he can be rough and how taxing it can be on both your mind and body so he showers you with praise afterwards. Lets you cuddle into his side while he lights a cigar and tells you how lovely you are. He will prepare a bath for you along with your favorite snacks and drink. Silco will join you in the bath but only if you ask nicely because he prefers showers and has to go back to work. If he notices you're still feeling vulnerable and needy, he will let you sleep in his lap or on the couch in his office while he does his work. Will occasionally stop just to admire your sleepy face and press a soft kiss into your hair, murmuring a soft 'I love you'.
How are you feeling, darling? I wasn't too rough, was I? Alright, but please do let me know if you ever feel like that or if I unintentionally hurt you. I only want to inflict the kind of pain which brings you pleasure but you already know that. You were wonderful, my love, don't you worry. You're always perfect for me. I had a bath prepared for you so feel free to take your time as I have to go over some documents now. If you start missing me, feel free to join me in my office, beloved. There's always a place for you by my side.
VANDER loves giving praise and body worshipping his partner both during and after sex. He'll support himself on his side with his arm while gently caressing your face and hair with the other one. He'll gently murmur how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you. Despite his size, Vander is an extremely gentle and caring man, something which he never fails to show around you. He also loves making you laugh as it's the most beautiful sound he has ever been blessed to hear so he will often gently tickle your side or tell jokes. Loves kissing the bruises his hands and mouth left on you, always checking with you whether or not they hurt. Because of the kids, the two of you rarely have time for such activities so Vander makes sure to make each and every opportunity incredibly special and intimate.
Look at you, my darlin'. I keep askin' myself just what have I done to deserve someone as lovely and stunning as you. You are amazing, you know that? You always make me feel so good and I hope I managed to return that favor. I'm sorry we don't get to do this more often but that makes it all the more special, don't you think? Looking at you spread out so beautifully next to me makes my head go all fuzzy, I'll never understand how an old sod such as myself managed to find someone as sweet and alluring as you. Sleep now, love, you deserve to rest. I love you so much, never forget that.
SEVIKA could never get tired of the feeling of your body against hers, so she'll often have you rest on her lap while she sits against the headboard and smokes. She'll draw gentle circles against your thigh with her free hand, admiring the marks she left all over your pretty, pliant body. Will gladly share her cigar with you if you ask her for it, thinks you look adorable when you try to inhale the smoke and fail miserably. She'll pat your back and take her cigar back, telling you to just relax against her until she's finished after which the two of you will take a nice, hot shower. Always asks about how it was for you because she knows she did well and made you see stars but hearing it from you makes pride swell up in her chest. Loves focusing on your pleasure and making you feel good even though she can be rough at times. But Sevika makes sure to make up for any roughness by taking good care of you afterwards.
Just like that, baby, just relax against me. There's no rush, we have all the time in the world. Hand me my lighter, will you? Thank you, sweetness. You want to take a drag? Go ahead but try not to choke haha. What did I tell you, baby, bitter stuff like this aren't meant for some as cute and sweet as you. I'd hate to have my darling choke on anything other than my fingers or stra- Okay okay, no need to be embarrassed, you certainly weren't before. Alright, I'll stop teasing for now, the last thing I want is to have my baby be cross with me so just rest and I promise I'll wash your hair later, sound good? Of course it does, I know all my darling's weak spots.
Oh, this sweet, sweet man. VIKTOR needs to feel your closeness and warmth after you two do it. He loves engulfing your form with his arms and just holding you for a while. He often craves reassurance, needs to know he made you feel good and loved. Your pleasure and enjoyment are a top priority to him and he often doubts his ability to satisfy you because of his health issues. But with how attentive and careful he is, you know he could never make you feel anything less than amazing and he needs you to tell him that. He loves feeling your warmth against him and proposes a bath after the two of you catch your breath. You both wash each other's hair and bodies, making ridiculous shapes with the foam and blowing bubbles all around you. What follows is a soft make out session filled with gentle, wandering touches and tender praise.
Was that alright for you, ljubavi moja? Are you feeling okay? Good, lay down with me for a bit? I just need to feel you next to me, you always make me feel so warm and loved. You were truly wonderful just now, you never cease to amaze me. I am so lucky to have someone so wonderful as my partner, I love you more than anything. Yes, even more than Hextech haha. Your love and care made me realize that there is much more to life than just work and I'll be forever grateful to you for that. Now, how about we take a bath after which we can cuddle as much as you want, alright? Oh, but, can I get a kiss first?
translation: ljubavi moja - my love
#arcane#arcane headcanons#arcane x reader#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#arcane viktor#viktor x reader#arcane vi#vi x reader#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#arcane jinx#jinx x reader#arcane ekko#ekko x reader#arcane silco#silco x reader#arcane vander#vander x reader#requests are open
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work of jordan peele is BIG influence on chuck this is correct. there are quite a few similarities actually, especially when you consider both of us are coming to horror from place of comedy (i personally do not see tinglers as comedy but obviously this timeline has placed them there and i am perfectly okay with this trot).
we are both creating horror stories for our own historically marginalized groups and in particular, writing stories that are SPECIFIC to those groups.
for example when thinking about QUEER HORROR there is plenty of queer horror where the horror itself has nothing to do with queerness, or the queerness is subtext. for instance you could have a slasher where the main characters happen to be gay, but their queerness is not necessarily part of the fear.
on the other hand, CAMP DAMASCUS is directly commenting on a queer issue
BURY YOUR GAYS is directly commenting on a queer issue
by the same token GET OUT is directly commenting on a race issue
US is directly commenting on a class issue which is, of course, going to be wrapped up in topics of race and marginalization
it should be said that the other kinds of horror where issues of the marginalized groups is more in the SUBTEXT are not wrong. there is a time and a place for that. the book that will likely be chucks next horror novel is about bi erasure, but it is much more about the subtext and symbolism. there is a bi lead, but also a monster that does not seem to be about bi erasure AT FIRST. it is much less direct. so there is a time and a place for both kinds of approaches.
but i think the biggest thing that is similar about jordan and chucks approach (and what has been a big influence on me specifically) is that our goal is NOT: 'how HORRIFYING AND TRAUMATIC AND MESSED UP CAN WE MAKE THIS?'
we are doing something else
processing trauma by exposure can be a common goal for horror AND honestly i think it is also totally dang fine to make art like this. there are some incredible pieces where trauma and tragedy is the goal. however (and i will speak for myself here) when you are coming from a buckaroo community that has been through so much of this trauma in real life, i PERSONALLY find that goal to be a little too boring.
my goal is more like this: how can we use this genre of fear and tension that i love to comment and explore and say something new? how can i pull apart an issue and deconstruct it in a way that is cathartic and maybe even changes minds?
so i cannot speak for jordan but i feel like our approaches are similar in this way. i see a LOT of reviews that make comparisons between CAMP DAMASCUS and GET OUT and i am always very flattered
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change your life ✨️
feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3
- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead
- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry
- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air
- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.
- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰
- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise
- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.
- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^
- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.
- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.
#aesthetic#clean girl#motivation#vanilla girl#photo collection#routine#self care aesthetic#self healing#self improvement#self impowerment#self love#peachy days#that girl
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