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minniepetals · 3 years

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Rose & Thorns: 09

— summary: a lone rose, a little broken, until Jungkook came along and the two of you saved each other. and in doing so, Jungkook showed you a world where he shared with his six other mates.

— pairing: dragon!bts x reader

— genre: fluff / slight angst / poly!au / fantasy!au / dragon!au

— word count: 8.3k

— warnings: none

╰ part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10

"Hi there."

Just two single words are uttered from your lips and Jungkook is reminded of everything that has happened from the very first moment you spoke those exact first words to him.

He remembered those eyes of yours, so lost, so lonely, yet still having that kindness within to try and reach out a hand in order to ease his pain even if it meant just a small dose. Little did you know you'd end up as a true keeper of the dragons, lover to the seven princes of the East Sky and Mountains. But knowing the rewards, in the end, had never been anything you were seeking for at the time, and his heart warmed at the single reminder of how truly kind your heart is. After all, before you could even come to that moment of happiness with them all, you had to face serious consequences all because of that kind heart of yours.

Looking back on it, Jungkook only wished he could have dealt with it all in a better sense. If he were there for you like you were always for him, if he had gotten to his lovers a little sooner to make them see that nothing about you had been false, if he had been there through your pains and tears, maybe you could have reached that dream of freedom and happiness so much quicker.

"Jungkook?" Yet no matter what he thought, you were always there gracing him a sweet smile with such precious eyes that he knew he would forever hold dearly to.

"Back from taking care of the little whelps?" He asked, driving his thoughts away from the memories in order to look at what was in front of him instead. Jungkook knew he couldn't keep dwelling on the past no matter how much it had hurt him. Because here you were, lips curled into a brighter smile and he knew then that no matter what he thought, you'd never blame him for anything.

But perhaps that was what was hurting him even more.

You walked into the castle, feet having light bounces to them with a basket full of laundry. "I'm fairly certain Namjoon will hold an apprentice ceremony for Haeun soon. Who do you suppose her mentor will be?"

He grabbed you by the arm to pull you back in front of him before you could walk right past him without a second thought, surprising you just a bit.

"I'm sure Namjoon will make a wise decision on that but," the young dragon drew both his hands to hold you firmly by the shoulders as he expressed a disappointed face, "don't you think you're forgetting about someone else first?"

You giggled under his adorable pout. "Don't you have to get ready for the afternoon hunting patrol soon?" You reminded him, causing him to let out a grunt.

"Why is it that Taehyung and Seokjin are the ones to have you by their sides every day? Why can't it be me?"

"Kook," you laugh, "you know your hyungs would never let me go out there to support the patrols. For one, it can be dangerous especially for a simple human like me, and two, I don't have a clue on what to do during a patrol."

He sighed, allowing his hands to drop by his side again. "It's unfair. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a warrior."

"Don't say that. The clan has both you and Hoseok to keep us protected and that is something I would never want to take away from you."

"I know. I just want to spend more time with you" He looked up to meet your gaze again. "But for now this will do." Without any warning, he leaned in to give you a quick kiss to your lips, causing your cheeks to brighten in an instant as he strolled away with a giggle, knowing exactly what your expression would show without even looking.

You were too adorable for your own good.

"Have you ever had scented candles before?"

On one of the rarer days when you were free from your duties and didn't have the little whelps demanding for your attention almost every second you turned your head and Seokjin was well on his own, you accompanied Jimin in the lonely dungeons as he made his rounds as head of the guards, making small talks ever so often.

There weren't many prisoners locked up for their bad deeds just as the time you spent there a prisoner yourself so you knew Jimin often got lonely making his rounds all alone each time. Taking that into consideration, you weren't going to let the opportunity of your free time be spent doing nothing.

"Scented candles?" You tilted your head slightly to the side with innocent eyes that always got him every time and Jimin chuckled lightly after dropping his clipboard on a table from finishing his rounds with you by his side and turning to elsewhere. "I've heard of them before but they don't necessarily exist around here do they?"

"They don't but there are tales of the scented candles being of great help to be of comfort for anyone in need." Your eyes widened at his words, feeling quite intrigued, and when Jimin turned back around with a few things in hand, your breath hitches. "The first person that came into mind was you when I heard about them," he told you with bright eyes smiling as he brought them on over towards the table at the center of the room. You followed him curiously, rounding yourself to stand beside him as he displayed the candles for you. "So I had one of our traveler dragons to bring them back when they had the time."

"Jimin..." You felt so touched by his kind thoughts for you you almost didn't know what to say towards the sweet gesture. But when he graced you with a tender smile upon your gaze on him, you were sure he understood your thankfulness towards him.

"If only we had these at the time when you were our prisoner." His face fell with slight dejection but you were quick to shake your head lightly.

"Having you to help me then was more than enough, Jimin, I promise. Then again," thinking back to that time, you giggled upon the memories, "would you guys have really wasted such precious things on me at the time?"

He sighed. "I'm glad we can joke about it now but looking back at it, we were so horribly rude to you I can't believe I let my emotions get the best of me."

"You were just worried for the little one."

He chuckled upon your words with a tousle to your hair. "I don't think Jungkook would appreciate someone smaller than him calling him the little one."

You gave him a pout. "And why not? You do it to him all the time."

"Because I'm his hyung. Though he does often tease me about it from time to time." You giggled knowingly, already picturing their small bickering when it came to the two of them and their banters. Having seen that, Jimin smiled from where he stood beside you and brought his hand behind your head in order to pull you close and place a sweet kiss on your forehead, surprising you and making your cheeks flare up at the sudden gesture without warning. He found it cute how you had yet to get used to their kisses whether unexpected or not but returned his eyes to the candles despite the shocking state you were still in.

"Shall we try one of them?"

With his question, you blinked in a daze before shaking your head to return to the subject, and with your cheeks still slightly flushed, your eyes darted back to the candles laying on the table. "There are so many different kinds," you observed with a slightly opened mouth of astonishment to which Jimin found adorable.

"I didn't know what kind of scent you'd prefer so I got the dragon to get a couple different kinds."

"Lots of them are flowery scents," you beamed under the lowlights of the dungeon as you went on to pick up the candles in order to observe them up close. Pulling them up close to your nose, you waft at them in order to get a sense of how each of them smelt, your expressions clearly pleased each time you got a new scent to try as Jimin simply stood there watching you, happiness blooming in his chest at just the sight of you so content. "They all smell so great even without it lit up."

Your face fell with furrowed brows as you stared at each of the candles, having a hard time choosing which one to try first and Jimin let out a laugh. "You're so cute," he said. "We can try every one of them now if you still have time to spare."

"I have all the time to spare!" You exclaimed almost a little too happy for someone who had come in the dungeons declaring the desire to help. But he knew that was just the way you were and for that alone, Jimin wasn't at all dissatisfied by it.

"Well then, since you're having a hard time choosing which one to try first, just close your eyes and choose."

"Good idea!"

Upon Jimin's suggestion, you quickly closed your eyes and hovered your hand over the candles, blindly searching over each one before you finally settled with the one to the far right. With that, you opened your eyes again and held that one up.

"Lavender," the dragon beside you stated.

"Lavender's wonderful!" You were quick to say with your eyes lighting up at the chosen one. "It helps relieve stress and anxiety," you let him know and his brows furrowed a little at your words.

"Are you having trouble, little one?" He asked, concerned.

"Oh no, not me," you quickly said with a shake of your head. "I want to share this with Namjoon because I know being a leader to a clan isn't always the easiest. He comes home later than every one of us after all and most times I'm already asleep by then. I haven't seen him around lately so I'm a little worried."

His eyes softened at your innocent kindness that never seemed to ever leave your heart no matter what and for that alone, Jimin almost believed that he was falling in love all over again. "We're so lucky to have you by our side."

You looked up at him and gave him a humble shake of your head. "It's the other way around," you smiled. "Do you think he'll appreciate it? Oh, but you got these for me as gifts."

"Don't worry, it's always best to share gifts like these with each other," he said while gently stroking your head. "I know Namjoon will be more than happy to receive this."

"Then shall we also choose candles for the others as well? I think it would be really incredible to build a storage room for scented candles so that whenever one of us needs it, we can always—"

"Before that."

"Hm?"

Innocently, you looked up from the candles to meet Jimin's gaze only to have your lips captured in a sweet kiss, leaving your breath to hitch and your eyes to widen as you froze right there at the unexpected kiss.

Jimin leaned away just enough to give you some space with a chuckle. "Your reactions will always please me."

"J-Jimin!"

"But," his brows furrowing slightly, he brought his hand over to slowly swipe his thumb along his lip as you simply stood there, staring at those plump lips of his, not knowing what to do, "I want more, little one."

"J.." Your cheeks brightened even more as your eyes were quick to avert to the ground upon meeting his eyes, causing him to let out another throaty chuckle.

"I love you."

He found it amusing in the way your face only seemed to flush even more each time he did and said something. Your eyes were shaking, not knowing where to look, and he was sure your head was swarming with thoughts of how to respond to him. Surely you were panicking upon whether to return those sweet three words or not and it brought a tug at the corner of his lips.

"Well?" He raised a brow, waiting for your permission.

You bit your lip, still contemplating, but Jimin went on to take the lavender-scented candle away from your grasp to place it back onto the table as he inched towards you in a sly manner.

"I..." You opened your mouth shyly.

"Yes?" He urged you on.

"I-I..." You stepped back out of panic but he followed right away. "Well..um..."

"Hm?"

Bravely, you looked up to meet his eyes head-on and Jimin smirked, satisfied with that. But still, he waited to hear your words and despite how slow you were with it, hearing it made him happy nonetheless.

"I love you too." You told him and he smiled, letting his hand trail down your face in a gentle possessive manner before leaning in and pressing his sweet lips to your own.

It's a gentle kiss like the gentleman he is and not long after your thoughts are filled with him and him alone.

"I can't wait to become an apprentice! I just know prince Namjoon will choose the perfect one for me!"

You giggled fondly at the little dragoness who sat beside you helping you with your duties as the two of you fold the blankets for the whelps together. "But before that, you will have to let him know what you want to be first, right?"

"Ah," she said, almost as if she had forgotten about the beginning steps first.

"Well?" You urged her on. "What would you like to be as part of the clan?"

She looked away thinking, her hands coming down to a stop on top of the white blanket that laid on her lap, her thoughts going on to stray away to the different duties every dragon has as a member of the clan.

"Unnie how did you choose what you wanted to do?" She asked you instead of answering, her decisions still unclear.

"Well," you started, ready to help her to try and decide, "I chose to be both Seokjin's underling and helping out with the whelps because I love helping. I guess it was easy to decide because, for one, I enjoy taking care of the whelps' needs, and two, I'm used to the herbs and remedies as I've often had to learn them myself without relying on others to help me heal when I needed it. Plus it comes in handy when the princes need to be tended to."

"You don't like just watching on the sideline and would rather be of help, huh?"

You nodded with a smile. "Tending to them makes me feel useful. I can protect them in that sense while they help to protect the clan as warriors themselves. I'd hate to just stand back and watch them in pain, not knowing how to help them. It'd feel worse than anything"

Haeun broke into a beaming smile at your answer. "Unnie, that sounds just like you."

You chuckled at her words and went on to tousle her hair. "You'll find your purpose one day soon. Take your time, no one is rushing you."

"Oh!" She let out a cute little gasp. "What if I worked as a caretaker as well? That way I can be of more help here in the roosts!"

"That sounds—"

"No."

The two of you turned at the voice to find Taehyung walking up with a slightly displeased expression as he handed little Kihyun to Haeun before shamelessly pulling you against his chest right in front of the kids.

"T-Taehyung!" You quickly gasped and were ready to push him away at the unexpected gesture. Only he wasn't going to let you go.

"You already spend too much time with my princess, you can't keep taking her away from me. I'm supposed to be the one who spends more time with her than anyone else, Haeun!"

You couldn't believe this was the reason for his refusal of Haeun's help but rather than taking him seriously, the dragoness let out an exasperated sigh as she stood from her spot with Kihyun in hand before purposely sticking her tongue out at the prince. "Sucks to be you then, my prince, because unnie likes me more than you anyways!"

He let out a dramatic gasp with the grip around you only tightening. "How dare you say such lies."

Yet she made no comebacks and simply ran away before Taehyung could scold her anymore.

You giggled at their little banter and turned around to face your lover with a sigh. "I would appreciate it if you kept the affections to a minimum in front of the little ones."

"Why should I? Those little dragons are already trying to steal you away. I'm just marking my territory so they know not to steal someone else's mate, especially one that belongs to a prince."

"You know they're just playing around."

"That's what they'd like you to think, those mischievous little brats."

You burst out laughing at how ridiculous he was, jealous of the little dragons and even having quite the serious pout plastered upon his face. You didn't know what to expect walking into the relationship but even so, everything had been so well you were glad to be able to laugh and smile along their sides no matter how many times you'd get flustered by the things they did.

Frowning at you for not taking him seriously, Taehyung grabbed a hold of your face in both his large palms and brought himself right in front of you, making your laughter cease almost instantly.

"Is it fun making me jealous?" The prince asked with a raised brow, suddenly giving you a deadpanned look you weren't sure what to think. "Hm, princess?"

Your eyes panned away from his out of panic, already afraid to be caught by the poor little dragons in case they stumbled upon the two of you. "Tae—"

"I'm right in front of you yet you're focusing on something else?"

"If the whelps catch us like this, I—" He brought your face forcibly back to face him again with a displeased expression that is quick to bring your voice quiet all over again. "Tae..." Seeing him like that was a little surprising to you. After all, despite the many months spent in the dragon clan, there was still so much you had yet to know of including how the princes would act as your lovers, and now that you were with them, it still felt a little unbelievable they would feel such love and possessiveness over you.

Maybe that was just the nature of dragons. Just as you've heard stories of them being quite possessive with their treasures, perhaps mating was just as if not more important.

Your faces were so close you were sure Taehyung could feel the heat of your cheeks against his palm. It made you even shyer so you looked away, not brave enough to keep eye contact for much longer, and just for that, he let out a knowing chuckle.

"You're so cute." His voice was low, quiet. "I don't want anyone else to see this side to you, princess. You're ours after all, aren't you?"

You ignored his words in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. "Don't you think, um...you're being a little too brave doing this right here?"

"I'm sure Haeun's got us covered."

"That's not—!" You grunted. "We can't let her watch the whelps all alone, you know that."

"Eh," he shrugged, not caring one bit, "she's a good kid. She'll take care of it. In the meantime—"

"Noona!!"

You were quick to gasp and pushed Taehyung away as soon as you heard the young voice calling your name. "Do you need something, Minho?" You asked, turning around as the little one ran up to you while you both ignored the cry of agony and frustration falling out of Taehyung's lips as he leaned back into one of the beds of the whelps, holding his face against his palm at the missed opportunity that was now ripped away from him.

"Noona I wanna play with you!" The little dragon exclaimed with a bright innocent grin plastered on his face but Taehyung knew it was anything but. As if to provoke the prince further, he grabbed ahold of your hands and dragged you off, not even sparing Taehyung a single glance, knowing fully well what he had just done.

"Y/N."

"Namjoon!" He saw you quick on your little feet as you ran up to him with a beaming smile that was just enough to slowly ease the weights resting on his shoulders. But he knew it wouldn't last forever despite wanting to keep seeing that precious smile of yours even if it meant for just one whole night, dreading for the time that was coming. "I was just looking around for you!"

He gave you a tender smile as he drew his hand along your face, stroking it gently. "Did you need me for something, dear one?"

"Mhm!" You took his hand, ready to run off. "Come here, I—"

But Namjoon pulled you back to stand right before him again, he himself not having moved one inch despite you just about to drag him away. "Can it wait?" He said, causing your smile to fall with a slight concern.

"Oh. Are you busy?"

He hated doing that to you. "I was just about to have Yoongi call for a clan meeting."

"Ah," you said, nodding. "Then I will wait for you in—"

"Actually."

"Hm?"

"I want you to attend the meeting."

That took you by surprise as your eyes widened a little, totally unaware that Namjoon would ask you to attend a clan meeting. Usually, he would have all the princes and his most trusted dragons together for a meeting first before letting the rest know of any news that would be important to announce. You've never attended any meetings before and there hadn't been one for a while so surely the things he had to discuss had to be important, right? So why would he ask you to attend?

Seeing the confusion written on your face, Namjoon began to explain. "You're our Keeper now, remember?" He said, reminding you of the ceremony that had taken place just a few weeks ago. "Must I keep reminding you that you are now very important to the dragon clans?"

"Well..." They've mentioned that but you have yet to know what exactly that title meant for you. "I haven't exactly done much, have I?"

"I know," he nodded, understanding. "Truthfully none of us truly understands how a human would prepare for this role but I need you to begin seeing this title as your new duty. I know you have the whelps to take care of and also work alongside Seokjin but being a Keeper will begin to take up the majority of your time now. I need you to be prepared for anything, Y/N."

"I..." The serious gaze he held for you made you understand how crucial it was but still, you couldn't find the answer as to why. "I don't understand."

Namjoon nodded again. "It is best to let everyone know first before you ask your questions." He took your hand and began leading you towards the one room you hadn't exactly been to before; the meeting hall. "But just know that from now on, the Keeper will be attending every meeting that is to be held."

Knowing your questions would be answered soon, you gave him a nod. "Okay."

The meeting hall was a grand hall that laid a large table right in the middle with twelve chairs surrounding it all together. Seeing it up close and personal itself, you could understand just how serious the meeting was going to be. Even Taehyung himself who had already taken his place towards one of the ends held a grim expression.

But upon seeing you walk in with Namjoon at your side, his face lit up just the slightest bit.

"You look tense," he joked as if trying to ease your nerves with his little jokes. "It's alright, princess," the dragon assured you with a soft smile as he held his hand out to offer you a seat beside him. You easily took his hand, allowing him to guide you to the chair beside him as the others began to file in.

Hoseok took his place on your other side with a grin. "First time here?" He asked almost flirtatiously and made you let out a giggle.

Not long after the meeting began.

"The three clans have gotten news of me declaring Y/N as Keeper of the Dragons." You could feel all eyes turning to you at the report that left Namjoon's lips and just for that, you felt a weird feeling drop within your stomach but you weren't sure exactly what you were supposed to feel.

Was it a good thing? Or not?

Weren't the Clans all connected in one way or another despite them ruling their own skies and mountains? Questions swarmed in your head and you were suddenly realizing just how much you didn't know about lots of things that were important to the clan.

Sensing your confusion, Namjoon began to explain. "There are four main clans. The East, the West, the North, and the South. The other clans that exist are the smaller clans that protect other areas that are not covered by the four major clans. The warriors live protecting our territories in order to maintain the lands that were given to us from the first beginning wars many years ago. We are allowed to go to war with any smaller clan to gain land if we wish to do so, but none of us are allowed to attack any of the major clans so that no one clan becomes one over the other and dictates the rest."

"Hence that's where gaining a Keeper poses a problem, doesn't it, my prince?"

You turned your head at the warrior that had spoken. "It..does?"

He sent you a conflicted expression. "Us major clans may not be allowed to attack the others to maintain order but there are other ways to gain power and look slightly better than the rest."

"And one way by doing that is having our ancestor warriors accept a Keeper into one of the clans," another warrior added.

You were posing a problem as a Keeper already? Just by existing? Did that mean you'd have to leave in order to not cause more problems and potentially be the reason the clans may go to war?

Seeing those worried brows furrowing, Seokjin turned back to Namjoon. "The clans have given you their answers, I am sure. What did they say?"

With Seokjin's question, the attention returned to the high prince once again.

"They will accept the Keeper as long as we grant them the permission to use her in the case of any major wars."

Jungkook abruptly stood up in protest. "No!" He said in a thunderous tone with a face filled with rage at the thought of even bringing you to the wars. "I will not allow anyone to use Y/N in any way shape or form even if it comes to our own wars."

"But the Keeper has her powers to protect herself and the ones beside her."

"Y/N doesn't know how to use her powers yet," he was quick to dismiss the thought.

Meanwhile, you look at Hoseok and Taehyung beside you with confusion at this so-called power of yours. You really possessed powers now? And as if reading your thoughts, the two of them gave you a silent nod both firmly to let you know that all of this was real.

"She can learn."

"And she will."

"Whether she learns it well or not does not mean I will let anyone take advantage of her and put her life at risk. Y/N's already gone through so much, you can't just expect her to suddenly be thrown into the middle of our clan's problems."

But you were the root of the problem so it only made sense. And you were sure you weren't the only one thinking that as you looked around the room, noticing the hesitation in the warrior's expressions as some of them felt conflicted on whether to voice their true opinion on the matter or not since they all knew you were the lover of the princes.

Sighing silently with worry, you spared a glance towards Namjoon who seemed to be the one in the most conflicted position. After all, as leader of the East Clan, he had to consider both sides to the problem while also needing to take in the other clan's words without dismissing it so easily.

As you sat there while the debate continued on, you realized that the only way the clan could have accepted you at all was to become a Keeper. That was the only position available to you as a human in order to be someone not only the East Clan could trust but the rest of the clans as well. Which also meant that this was Namjoon's way of protecting you. Because as Keeper, you were given the power to protect not just the people around you but yourself as well.

"Hyung." Jungkook turned back to Namjoon, wanting the leader to declare the words of declining the other clan's orders but you knew it wasn't going to be that easy of a decision.

The room fell silent again as the youngest of the prince addressed the leader who sat tall in his seat at the end of the table. His gaze remained grim with both his hands clasped together in front of him with silent thoughts swarming in his head.

It remained that way for a while, the room waiting for Namjoon to speak.

He closed his eyes for a second before sitting back tall against his seat and looking up to rest his gaze right on you. Your heart skipped a beat, not knowing what he was going to ask of you or if he had come up with a decision, and whatever it was, you knew you had to be prepared.

"Y/N," he called, voice uttered in a low octave.

"Yes?" You were almost too afraid of what his next words were going to be but this was Namjoon you were talking about. You knew you could trust him with your whole life. The two of you went through danger together, helped each other up, carried one another, and made it out alive in the end. You knew more than anyone that he wouldn't purposely lead you to danger. After all, even though he had hated you then, he still protected you from that great fall because he knew you were special to Jungkook.

If there was anyone you could trust, it would be Namjoon.

"The wars that the dragon clans may involve themselves in can be quite brutal," he told you. "There will be enemy dragons far more dangerous than the ones that had attacked both you and Seokjin. You have to, however, be rest assured that our own warriors are far stronger than you can ever imagine. I will do all that I can to negotiate with the other three clans but be prepared to know that you may be needed in one of the wars in the future."

"Namjoon—"

He held a hand up to silence Jungkook without ever diverting his gaze from you. "No dragon that belongs to the clans, whether that of the major clans or the smaller ones, will ever dare to harm you. Every dragon knows not to try and harm a Keeper who lives to protect them. So if and when the wars ever come, will you give your complete trust to us in due time just as the clans will do the same with you?"

Seeing that complete resolve in Namjoon's eyes which hides no lies upon his vow to keep you from harm's way, you knew your answer.

"More than anything, I will entrust my life to the clans."

Proud with your reply, Namjoon let himself give you a faint smile in return.

"This will mean the clans will want to meet her, won't they?" Jimin spoke up upon the possibility and returning to his serious expression once again, Namjoon gave a nod.

"The Keeper has much to learn then."

"That's right."

Customs and courtesies along with the history of the Clans and their origins. Adding along with your training as a Keeper, the need to protect the dragon clans. You had much to do but you knew running away from it wasn't going to happen so you sat there with a resolved look in your eyes, letting the dragons know that you were going to do it all if it meant protecting them.

They smiled knowingly, proud to have you as their Keeper.

"Can't sleep?"

Namjoon's eyes turned tender upon the sight of you joining him out on the balcony later that night. He held out a hand for you to take and you gladly accepted it with no protest, allowing him to bring you forward and wrap his arms around you to keep you warm from the night breeze.

It remained silent for a while with the two of you just basking in each other's warmth, comfortable with just the sound of the crickets chirping under the night sky filled with the light of the twinkling stars.

"I'm sorry," he whispered a moment later and you turned to look up at him with confusion.

"For what?"

"When I gave you the title as Keeper of the Dragons, I should have asked you about it all first instead of just deciding it all on my own," he told you with a grim expression resting on his face. "Now you're going to have to face some challenges that you weren't prepared for."

His voice was soft against the wind, but you could hear the guilt and heavy stress weighing against him, letting you know that he had been worrying about you with all of this now going on. The other three clans weren't going to give in to his negotiations that easily but Namjoon would be working hard just for the sake of you and for that you knew all you wanted to do at that moment was to ease his burdens.

"It's okay," you told him softly as you leaned against his chest to let him understand that you weren't blaming him for any of it. "You gave me a place in your clan and that is more than enough."

"Being a Keeper is not going to be easy on you. Whether it was the only title I could give you as a human or not, this will only make things harder on you."

You chuckled a little at those words. "You know more than anyone nothing has been easy for me in the first place."

"Exactly." He let out a sigh as his arms around you tightened with worry. "This isn't exactly helping."

"As a Keeper, no one can hurt me, right?"

"You're going to have to learn to defend and use your powers first."

"Mhm," you nodded. "And I will."

"I know you will Y/N, and I trust you with all that I have," he acknowledged without any doubt. "I know that despite the situation you're suddenly placed in, the burdens you will have to face as a Keeper, you won't let any of that get to you and will do all that you can do for the clan. But," he gave you a squeeze, holding you tighter as if to silently tell you how afraid he was knowing he had no choice but to send you away as a leader who had to make the best decisions for everyone, "truthfully I wanted to agree with Jungkook and straight-up refuse the thought of even involving you in any future wars. The little one knows you best. He's seen through it all, feels the most guilty out of any of us for not being able to protect you as well as we should have. And I know you don't blame him, none of us does, he was after all the one who fought so hard for your life. But because he had to go through that, Jungkook will be the one to suffer the most when we have to send you off to fight."

You understood that. You understood the fact that Jungkook's heart was so big he wanted to protect everyone he could with his power. He was there beside you, always feeling helpless he couldn't do much to help you in your situation knowing he had been less powerful than the rest of his hyungs, but even then, you would never blame him because none of it was his fault.

He was a kind, gentle, and loving dragon who refused to let any of his lovers get hurt. But you understood where Namjoon was coming from and knew this wasn't going to be easy at all.

"I will tell you this though," you looked up at the leader whose eyes were already on yours with a firm resolve in his eyes. "As the leader of the Eastern Clan and as your lover, I will not let anything happen to you no matter what we will face in the future. So can you place your faith in me and do your part knowing I will be standing right beside you in all of this?"

"Namjoon..." Dealing with the Clans and potentially needing to be used in some of the future wars would not be easy, you knew, but you also knew that you weren't going to be alone. So you gave him a firm nod, knowing more than anyone that you could trust him. "Of course."

He leaned in to place a kiss on your head. "That's all I need to hear."

The days grew longer and longer as you took your duties off as Seokjin's assistance and the caretaker of the whelps in order to begin your training as the true Keeper of the Dragons.

You were given a teacher who taught you the history of the Clans and common customs and courtesies to prepare you for the meeting of the other three clans and had to face a challenge in trying to understand how the previous Keeper had lived.

None of it was easy, knowing you would be alone throughout most of it because the dragons themselves had no idea of how to train someone with a position they've never had to face. So you spent most of your time in the large library mostly to yourself with lessons after lessons on the history of the Clans and the first Keeper of the Dragons.

Given the ability to wield the power to physically protect someone while having no idea how to use or control it was hard for a beginner like you, but you knew you couldn't give up so easily because this was now your duty. You couldn't let your clan down nor disappoint anyone.

Everyone believed in you, it was your duty to show them that you were capable of this position without any doubt.

If the other three clans blindly trusted in you to the point of potentially asking you for aid in future wars then you could not let them see you as a weak and vulnerable human who would make excuses on how hard it was. You had to prove yourself to everyone.

Not just your princes, not just your clan nor the other three clans, but to yourself as well.

You were going to face this head-on, knowing it was your duty to protect the dragons now as Keeper of the Dragons.

"Tired?"

You quickly shook your head as you headed back to the private chambers after another long day of studying. With a big smile plastered on your face, you knew you couldn't let them worry over you so much.

"I'm perfect!" You said to Yoongi who held on to a skeptical expression.

"Well that's true but," he held his hand up to stroke your hair with eyes that didn't blindly believe you so easily, "you know it's okay to say when you're tired, right? You have it very rough right now, after all. We can all see it."

"Well I'm a little tired," you admitted sheepishly, knowing you couldn't hide anything from them as he brought you in to hold you in his arms soon after. "But it's been going well, I promise."

"I don't doubt that." Seokjin came up from behind you to place a kiss on your head. When you looked up at him, his eyes were just as concerned as Yoongi's. "I know you're a smart girl who is stronger than anyone I've ever met, however, you must remember to not push yourself too hard."

"You often go to the extremes for others, that's why we're so worried, princess," Taehyung said.

"If it becomes too difficult to face this all on your own, you have to tell us," Jimin chimed in. "Preparing for battles is not easy but doing this as a Keeper is something beyond our own imaginations. We may not understand some things but we're right here for you, okay?"

"Once you're done with the first steps of knowing how to defend and use your powers as a Keeper, the next step is learning how we fight our wars."

"I'm sorry," Namjoon said after Hoseok, looking the most worried out of them all since he was the one to have given you the title. "This is a lot more than I thought it'd be."

"I promise I'm alright," you said with sincerity at their concern for you. You hated seeing them like that but you knew it was coming from a good place. "Learning to protect the Clans is a privilege. I'm honored to be a Keeper. I won't let you down."

"Y/N."

You turned to the sound of the last prince to speak and saw the way he stood a bit further from the rest of you, an unsettling uneasiness clear on his face as his brows furrowed while he refused to look at you at first. It was silent for a moment as you waited for Jungkook to speak.

When he finally managed to look up and meet your face, you could see how much this was affecting him and felt your heart drop at just the sight alone. Jungkook was so worried about you.

He held his hand out, eyes averting from yours again but still, you took it without hesitation, letting the youngest prince have his way with pulling you into his strong arms. You couldn't see it from where you stood just seconds ago but now that you were in his arms, you could feel the way he was trembling slightly as he held you.

"'Please," he whispered as he let his cheek rest against your head, "if it's too hard you have to let us know. You can't lie to us no matter what. If you don't want to do this anymore then just say the word and we'll take care of it. But I know that is not something you'd ever do because you are much too noble for that so please...please don't push yourself too hard for any of our sakes. If you go too far you'll hurt yourself. So this time, this time I won't let you get too far. I promise I'll uphold my words and protect you. So please rely on me. Okay?"

You knew to some extent that Jungkook worried the most out of everyone but hearing those words coming out of his mouth, feeling the slight trembling of his body, you knew how scared he was right now. So worried, so afraid.

He loved you so much so you knew you couldn't do something that would make him think you were only going to make things harder for yourself.

You stepped back just enough to face him again where you reached up to hold his face in your hand. His eyes were filled with so much grief you wished you could just take all those worries away in a blink of an eye. But it wasn't going to be that easy. Despite that, however, you knew you had to do something to ease the pain even if it meant a small dose.

"I promise, Jungkook. I won't go too far this time."

"Good." He said and buried his face against the crook of your neck, his breath shaky as he let out a sigh. "Good."

"How about this?" Witnessing that moment between the two of you, Namjoon spoke up. "You should take a break tomorrow. You've been working non-stop these past few weeks after all."

"Hm?" You turned to Namjoon with a slight confusion while Jungkook remained in your arms, refusing to let you go anytime soon. "But—"

"The clan haven't seen you in a while since you've been buried in the library almost every day since your training started. I'm sure they've missed you."

"That's right," Taehyung let out a sigh at just the reminder of the little whelps demanding him questions after questions on when they were ever going to see you again. "You know more than anyone how much those little whelps love you. They've been asking for you since the day you started your training and Haeun isn't making things any easier. She's gotten so grumpy I can't keep handling all of them on my own."

You laughed lightly upon the mention of the little ones, already picturing them complaining to Taehyung and bouncing around him for answers about you.

"Everyone knows you're working so hard right now," Yoongi stated with a firm nod. "You should take tomorrow to catch up on things and take things easy. They've all missed you."

"I suppose a day wouldn't hurt."

"Then it's settled." With that, Namjoon gave you a faint smile as he walked up to both you and Jungkook, giving you a kiss to your head before gently patting Jungkook's head. He looked up, still slightly upset about this whole thing. "Y/N's going to be okay," the leader vowed firmly. "Everyone's looking out for her."

"Mhm," you nodded with a smile. "So don't worry too much, okay?"

He took a moment to stare at the kind smile you gave him and seeing how sincere you both were, Jungkook began to look relieved as his face relaxed for the first time in a while. "Okay," he sighed with a small smile of his own. "I'm proud of you."

Your heart blossomed with love.

Two weeks later, you were to leave to meet the three clans of the North, South, and West.

Dressed in formal wear, you took a deep breath as you stared out at the view of the horizon from the mountain top, knowing this would be the first time you would be leaving the mountain and being gone for a while.

"Are you ready?" You turned at the voice of Hoseok who stood tall beside Namjoon as the two of them would be the ones to accompany you on the journey. Behind them stood the rest of the princes and the clan to bid their farewells and wait for your return. Scanning the crowd, you could see some faces of worry and decided to give them all your usual kind smile.

"I have Namjoon and Hoseok with me, you can all stop looking at me like I'm already going out for war," you said with a small laugh to lighten the dampened mood. "I will be alright," you give them the vow with confidence in order to ensure that they did not have to worry too much.

It seemed to have worked since many of their faces began to lighten up again.

"We will be waiting for your return."

"Please stay safe."

"Send word if anything goes wrong. We'll be ready for anything."

You laughed again. "You all worry too much."

"For good reason." Seokjin walked up looking slightly grumpy. "We're sending our Keeper away after all."

"They won't do anything to me, I'm just going to be meeting them so that they will know who the Keeper is," you reminded him.

"I'm surprised you can be so calm." Truthfully despite Jimin's words, you were quite worried but you knew you couldn't show that now. It wouldn't be the best thing to do knowing the clan themselves were already concerned. "You're so brave, little one."

"Mhm," you nodded at his words with a confident grin. "So trust me a little more, hm?"

"Stay safe, princess," Taehyung told you as he gently tousled your hair.

"I will."

Meeting both Namjoon and Hoseok's gaze, there seemed to be some sort of a silent conversation going on as Yoongi met their gazes before he turned to you with a small smile. "We'll be waiting for you."

"Mhm," you smiled.

"I love you," Jungkook whispered before turning to Namjoon and Hoseok. "You too," he said. "Be careful out there."

"Of course," Hoseok nodded.

"Shall we go? We must reach the Southern Clan before the sun sets." Upon those words of Namjoon's the clan tensed up again along with an odd feeling dropping along your stomach. But you knew you had to do this whether it was scary or not. It was important to the future of the clans after all.

Once both Namjoon and Hoseok transformed into their respective dragon forms, you gave the clan a formal bow of respect. "I shall return in time."

With that, you climbed onto Hoseok's back and the two of them took off riding into the sky, leaving the Eastern Dragon Clan behind.

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nashibirne · 3 years

Note

Congrats on your milestone!! Love your writing and since you're doing the whole "milestone party" I would like to ask if you could write something about reader and first baby. It could be something like them being very happy in the beginning, anxious by the end of the pregnancy but in the first weeks after the baby is born everything being caotic, the reader is stressed and sometimes they fight for something silly and it could have a happy ending, maybe he preparing a special surprise for her, some smut and they kinda "reconnect"... I don't mind if it gets too big, I would appreciate if you like the idea, It can be sy or walter, their POV, the reader can have a name too if you'd like. Thank you so much and congratulations again 🎉🥳

Here comes the second fic for my milestone celebration 🥳

Dear nonie, thank you so much for your prompt 💜 I love it and it made me think of Walter and his bumblebee from my fic Closer immediately. So I hope you don't mind I made this a follow up.

I tried to include all your wishes and I hope you like the struggles, the fluff and the smut.

🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲

MAYBUG

Pairing: Walter Marshall x reader

Summary: Walt and his wife are stressed out and enjoy a little escape. Follow-up to Closer

Words: ~ 1.8 k

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, 18+, Sex (p in v), fingering, dirty talking, kinda light breeding kink, masturbation, mentioning of sex toys and voyeurism, mentioning of problematic birth

UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…

Credits: pics for the header from pinterest.

I don't own Walter Marshall (unfortunately)

If you like this story, check out my masterlist!

***********

I'm sure it wasn't so stressful with Faye when she was a baby. She was a whirlwind, challenging her mum and me 24/7 as soon as she was able to walk but I'm pretty sure in the first year she was a little angel, not doing much more than sleeping, eating and lulling us into a false sense of security, making us think the peace would last forever.

Maybe it's gonna be the other way round with our little maybug. A chaotic first year and all the peace afterwards.

We've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for almost two years now. Y/n stopped taking the pill shortly after our engagement and a few months before our wedding. I couldn't wait to get her pregnant, our sex life was great at that time, we did it as often as possible, having the time of our lives, enjoying each other and our deep connection. When my little bumblebee finally surprised me with a positive pregnancy test after 8 months of very intense trying, we were both beyond happy and completely over the moon and besides the usual pregnancy-related worries and difficulties everything went well.

That was until y/n went into labor and suddenly everything turned out to be very different from what we both had wished for. There was no calm atmosphere, no peaceful water birth but a lot of stress and anxiety instead when unexpected complications occured. I wasn't solid as a rock for her, I was a nervous wreck and very disappointed in myself but my wonderful wife was incredibly tough, fighting to be strong for both of us with fierce determination. She was no bumblebee that night, she was a hornet. In the end she had an emergency c-section and our little boy was born after almost 24 hours of labour on a mild Saturday night in May. When we finally held this perfect, beautiful little bundle of life in our arms all pain and fear was forgotten and we cried together for joy and gratefulness.

Now, six months later, we're still very happy, enjoying our family life and our time together. I've stepped back from work a little, doing office work mostly, staying away from the time consuming major cases. It's hard sometimes to be condemned to just watch my colleagues working in the front-line but I know it's worth it. I don't want to make the same mistakes again, the mistakes that ruined my first marriage and jeopardized my relationship with Faye. Besides that y/n needs my support, although she would never admit it. Our little maybug suffers from colic and cries a lot so she's constantly sleep-deprived and on top of that she tortures herself with self-reproach because breastfeeding didn't work and our baby son only gets formula, which -in her eyes- is the reason for his regular pain. She's constantly stressed out, tense and oversensitive and we fight over the most silly things.

When she had a nervous breakdown the other day because she hadn't managed to cook dinner for me after another night without sleep and a whole day of trying to calm down a crying baby in pain, I decided it was enough, that she needed a break, I needed a break and maybe even our little muffin needed a break from his worn out parents. So after y/n had a good cry on my shoulder, listening to my comforting words that made her relax a little, I made her her favorite sandwich, sent her to bed after she'd enjoyed it and took our little boy on a ride. He likes it when we drive around in my truck, the sonorous sound of the engine has a soothing effect on him and eventually he stopped crying and fell asleep, just as exhausted as his mom. I got myself a burger from the drive-through, ate it in the parking lot and I came up with an idea for a little treat for me and my wife.

And now here we are, sitting in the huge tub in the bathroom of a luxurious hotel suite in our hometown, just 20 minutes away from our little boy who's staying with y/n's sister for the weekend. It wasn't easy to convince my wife that he's going to survive one night without us and that we really need some time for us but now, after a romantic candle light dinner and a special treatment afterwards she really seems to enjoy our little escape.

"God, Walt...you were right, I needed this. The food was delicious and your massage worked wonders. Thank you so much, papa bear."

She's sitting in front of me in the steaming hot water that smells like tropical flowers, her body covered with lush foam, her back resting against my chest, her butt between my spread legs, pressing against my cock.

"Well, it wasn't a Tantra massage but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway." I press a kiss on her hair and hug her from behind. "I enjoyed it too, by the way. My hands all over your wonderful backside, that was very sexy," I whisper in her ear before I start to caress her breasts while kissing her neck. Damn, I love her tits, even more now after the pregnancy. They are so soft, so welcoming and warm, plus they are bigger than before, perfect for burying my face in them or for a filthy boob fuck.

Y/n moans softly under my touch and I go on, determined to make this date night unforgettable. After a while I let one of my hands glide over her belly, that wonderful part of her body that has carried our child and that is so smooth beneath my rough palm. I feel the stretch marks she hates so much but I kinda love them. They're like a map that shows what she's been through and what the female body is capable of. For her it's a flaw, when I look at it I see nothing but strength. With that thought I slip my hand between her legs, stroking her pussy, my fingers gliding through her swollen folds, provoking one of these drawn, hoarse moans that always escape her mouth when she likes what I'm doing and that turn me on so much. She cranes her neck to look at me and I bent my head to kiss her. The kiss is slow and sensual, tasting sweet and promising. I moan into her mouth, one hand on her tit, kneading it intensely, giving her erect nipple some extra attention with my thumb, one hand on her pussy. I keep on stroking her clit while we make out and she moves her hips, rolling them slowly against my rock-hard cock.

"You like that, baby?" I want to know, panting into her ear.

"I like it a lot…", y/n sighs, bucking her hips. I know exactly what she wants.

"How about that?" I stretch my arm, shifting my position a little to penetrate her slowly with two fingers, brushing them against her g-spot with light pressure.

"Fuck...Walt…"

Her moans are getting louder with each thrust into her cunt, her hips moving rhythmically. I stimulate her clit with my thumb and I can tell she's close, putty in my hands, a whimpering, panting mess and I love it.

"Mommy's still my little whore, right?" I ask, my voice rough and thick with arousal and desire, my dick throbbing, pressed against her ass. "Look at you, riding my fingers like the good girl you are. I love how that feels…"

I fingerfuck her harder and it doesn't take her long to cum with a loud moan, my name on her lips on top of her orgasm. She rides it out slowly, breathing heavily and I give her some time to recover before I grab her by her waist, lift her up and make her sit down on my cock. I can't wait another second, I need to feel her from the inside, her tight pussy stretching around my thick dick. She sighs when she easily sinks down on it, starting to ride me immediately, eagerly, greedy. She's still hungry, ready for more, giving me a hard time to pull myself together. I'd love to just rail her, to thrust into her cunt mercilessly to reach my own high but what I want even more is to see her come undone again, to make her fall apart on my dick, milking it when she cums again. So I hold her hips in a vice-like grip, pressing her down and she stops moving, waiting for me to take over. I let go of her hips and fuck her slowly, thrusting into her from underneath, caressing her tits, showering her shoulders with sloppy kisses.

She follows the rhythm and the pace I set and we both moan in unison. She reaches between her legs and starts touching herself which turns me on even further. I love watching her when she pleasures herself. She was a little hesitant about in the beginning of our relationship but when I even bought her some toys, she believed me that it was okay to masturbate in my presence, that it drove me absolutely wild to watch her, that I would fuck her like a predator after seeing her cum just by the touch of her own hands, using the toys I had chosen and allowed her to use. Today is no exception. Her soft moans and appreciative sighs are music to my ears and as soon as I fix my eyes on her fingers that circle her clit, while she strokes the shaft of my pounding cock with her other hand, I lose my shit.

I press her against my body and fuck her so hard and fast that the water spills all over the edge of the tub. She comes again shortly after I orgasm with a noise that's half grunt and half growl, arising deep from within my chest. My balls tighten and when I feel my cum shooting through my dick her pussy clenches around me and her body is trembling on top of mine. She cries out loud when I fill her up with my seed and I'm sure she knows that I imagine breeding her, when I keep on thrusting lightly, not pulling out even after we've both come down from our highs and my hard-on softens.

I know we still have to wait a few months till she gets pregnant again because her body needs time to heal but I guess it doesn't hurt to practice as often as we feel like it and to dream of adding another little bug to our family.

🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke @littleone65 @coloraturadiva

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall #walter marshall x you #walter marshall smut #ask nashi #follower celebration #follower milestone

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coexiising · 3 years

Text

Midnight Love - Anakin Skywalker

REQUEST ◆ can i request a little something where anakin comes back from a long mission after there were rumors that he was dead, so the reader is super relieved and impatiently waiting to be alone with him? basically fluff where she could take care of his wounds and maybe some passionate sex

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, mentions of death, cursing

WORDS ◆ 3.1k

NOTE ◆ im sick but i got the sudden urge to finish this request so!! thank you for requesting!!

If someone was to ask you what love was a year ago, you would insist that you had no idea and tell them to ask someone else. But in the coming months, even in the throws of Civil War raging throughout the entire Galaxy left and right — You had found love. And maybe it wasn’t perfect and not like the fairytales that you used to read when you were a young child but it was yours, and that was all that mattered in the long run. You were in love and so happy.

But right now, all you were was nervous. You had been for almost a week since hearing the news that a rather intense battle had broken out in the Outer Rim, where Anakin Skywalker, the man you were in love with, had been stationed for almost a month now. You were scared and wracked with anxiety of the possibility of something happening to him. You stayed up late at night and tried to calm yourself down, but it was to no use. There was no way of contacting him during the middle of a mission and the only thing you could slightly rely on was the news, which sometimes wasn’t entirely factual.

And then the rumors started.

You weren’t one to rely on the news of gossip or others, though this talk had been spoken about within a rather influential group of politicians, about how The Hero With No Fear was dead. You didn’t want to believe it, it couldn’t be true. Anakin, your Anakin, couldn’t be dead. So you vowed from that day forward that you would only think of him as alive, not going to engage in any conversation until you were sure of his true outcome.

And another rumor spread that the 501st was coming back to Coruscant and again, you tried to ignore it, trying not to get your hopes up on false promises. Still though, you checked your comms where Anakin always contacted you when he was within range, and checked, and checked, and checked until it was becoming somewhat of an addiction. There was no call.

It is now marked two months since you’ve seen Anakin, the days dragging long and boring and the nights cold and lonely. You missed him so much that it was hard to breathe, feeling as though another half of you had been thrown into the wind never to be seen again. He had a job in the Republic and you understood that completely, but it didn’t stop you from wishing that things were different, that you could be together with him without anything pulling you away from one another or that you could just be with him in public in a romantic way rather than platonic.

Your feet took you across the Jedi Temple building, tasked with giving some papers to Senator Padmé Amidala who was briefing with the Council about security in the Senate. The sun shined through the tall windows as you walked, illuminating the pathway and red carpets. You made your way up the steps and that’s when you stopped dead in your tracks.

You weren’t sure if you were making things up in your mind, if you missed Anakin so much that your mind was playing tricks on you. But at the end of the hall you could swear that was Anakin, walking with . . . That was Ahsoka. So that had to be —

“Anakin,” You spoke out loud, low like a whisper to yourself. It was Anakin, standing at the other end of the hall. You felt your balance go out for a moment and you were almost sent toppling down the stairs until you caught yourself. Your heart rate picked up and it took everything in you not to run up into his arms, knowing that you were all being watched in the Temple and there was no way to have alone time with him no matter how much you wanted to.

You walked at a faster pace now, coming within range of his eyesight and Anakin’s features immediately softened upon looking at you, a small smile making its way onto his face that you reciprocated, hoping to not gain the attention from his Padawan learner. When finally, finally you were only a foot in front of him, you felt at ease again. Anakin was alright, he didn’t die or get gravely injured like the news always made things out to be. He was here and although you could see cuts and bruises on his face that have seemingly gotten uncared for yet, you were more relieved than you had ever felt in your life. It had been too long without him, you supposed, too long without his touch or his love.

Ahsoka was the first to speak up. “Hi, Y/N, what’re you doing here?” Her tone was happy, which led you to believe that whatever they did in the Outer Rim turned out successful. You loved Ahsoka, but right now you wished that it was just you and Anakin.

“Just getting Senator Amidala some papers, Ahsoka, how was your mission?” You asked, eyes darting from her to Anakin, who looked at you with soft, longing eyes.

“It was . . . Stressful. But Master Skywalker led the whole 501st by himself!” Ahsoka exclaimed, giving her Master a grin. You couldn’t help but smile, thinking about the fearless leader and how passionate he was about helping the Republic. How he was yours, all yours and he loved you just as much, if not more, than you did him.

A few more words were exchanged before Anakin said, “Why don’t you go get some rest, Ahsoka. You deserve it.” It seemed as though Ahsoka didn’t need to be told twice, the girl saying a quick goodbye and walking off in the other direction. Now it was you and Anakin in the hallway, looking into each other's eyes as if you were both having a silent conversation between one another without any movement. You weren’t sure what to say, actions spoke louder than words anyways and all you wanted was to be near him, be in his arms so that the fist of anxiety clenching your heart was finally gone.

He had a small smile on his face that made your heart warm, one that you reciprocated and looked around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping. In the Temple you were never really sure how far your talking would go, if others could hear the whispers spoken between you two from other hallways. There was no one there, thankfully.

“I’m sorry I-”

“When will-”

You two spoke at the same time, making a laugh erupt from the both of you. You took a moment to admire him, thinking about how much you missed the little things about him like his laugh. “You go first,” You told him.

Anakin nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming back. I wanted to make it somewhat of a surprise but then you were here and . . .” He trailed off. You shook your head and flashed a smile, signalling that all was fine. You found it endearing that he was planning on surprising you, it seemed as though you were on his mind the whole time as much as he was on yours.

“It’s okay,” You said. “When will you be able to stop by my apartment?” That is where you usually stayed when he was on Coruscant and he could get away, since it was way easier having Anakin sneak out of the Temple there instead of him sneaking you into the Temple. You had to admit that now that you knew he was here, your anxiousness got worse, wanting him all to yourself as quickly as possible.

“I still have to report to the Council. Then I’m all yours. An hour?”

“It’s a date.”

The waiting was excruciating even though it was only an hour. It was almost as if waiting for an extra sixty minutes was worse than the extended time you had just been away from him. Perhaps it was because you knew that he was here, alive and well, and wanted to see you just as badly as you wanted to see him. You tried passing the time looking through the holonet, and then deciding to take a quick shower to wash off anything from today.

Opening your drawer and putting on the last of your outfit, some black lounge sweatpants, you heard a knock on the front door of your apartment and your heart practically leapt out of your chest. You needed to remember to give Anakin a key sometime soon, knowing that this wasn’t going to be the last time he came over and he almost practically lived here whenever he was on Coruscant. You walked and opened the door, being met with Anakin’s smiling face and big, strong arms wrapping around your frame, walking both of you backwards as his foot kicked the door behind him closed.

You leaned into his touch, memorizing all that you could from this moment for later. His soft, plush curly hair brushing against your cheek, the smell of fresh breeze and some type of floral scent that was most likely his body wash. It was so inherently Anakin and you were surrounded by it, you loved it. You loved him.

“I missed you so much,” He spoke first, pulling away to make eye contact. His blue eyes looked down at you and you couldn’t help but lean up and press a small kiss to his lips, the smile on your face growing wider as you pulled away. Your eyes scanned his face, taking note of a few cuts and bruises that littered it, almost causing you to frown.

Your hand came up and brushed against one, it seemed freshly afflicted. You weren’t exactly sure what the mission he had gone through was about, he would most likely tell you later when both of you got settled. “I missed you too, Ani,” You said. “Do you want me to look at this cut?” It wasn’t as though you were a medic by any means, but basic first aid wasn’t that hard and all you really needed to do was clean it and any others he let you look at.

He didn’t respond with words, only nodding and allowing you to grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Your kit was in the bathroom connected to it, quickly grabbing the small white box and sitting down on the bed next to him, getting to work.

“What happened while you were away?” You asked, making conversation as you got the materials out of the box. “These cuts look recent.”

Anakin shrugged his large shoulders, a usual response when you asked about his injuries whenever he came home. This wasn’t new behavior, he always seemed like he was as tough as nails, but it didn’t take much to see that he was tired and glad to be home. The home that was your arms.

As usual, the two of you exchanged some small talk while you tended to his wounds, rubbing the cloth with the antiseptic and covering up the ones along his arms that needed bandages. Bacta worked best for the bruises, covering them up with the oil that would have them healed in as fast as a day or two. Once everything had been looked at, you put the materials back into the box and placed it on the nightstand next to your bed, reaching over to Anakin to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. He came to lay down and pulled you close to him, both of you sitting in the silence for a moment.

“There were so many rumors that you had gotten into too much trouble on your mission. Some people were even saying that you were dead,” You muttered, a small, tiny bit of concern lacing your words. Anakin could feel your worry through the Force and in response, held you even tighter against him. “I didn’t want to believe them, but then you were gone longer than normal and I don’t know. . . I just get so scared sometimes with your line of work.”

Anakin sighed. “There was a setback in the mission and we needed to take caution so that we wouldn’t lose many people. But it’s alright, I’m here with you now. You know that I’ll always come back to you.”

“I know, Ani.”

You turned to face him, the covers shifting comfortably under you. You pressed your lips against his again, relishing in the feeling of having him back all to yourself. You wished that you could keep him here forever, in your large apartment away from the judgement of society: The Senate that expected you to stay away from scandal, and the Jedi Order that prevented Anakin from having any attachment whatsoever. It was a hard world out there, but you were grateful that you were with Anakin through it, you couldn’t imagine being with another person.

Sensing a bit of urgency in your kisses to get as much of him as you possibly could, Anakin responded with the same passion, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek and the gloved one coming to push himself on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and trapped him against you while the two of you kissed. Your hands reached for his hair and tugged, spurring him forward and biting your bottom lip with a groan.

He detached his lips from your own and instead began kissing along your jawline, stopping for a second to inhale the scent of yours that he missed more than anything. And then he started again, kissing all the way down your neck and deciding to leave a tiny mark on a part of your collarbone that would be somewhat easier to conceal. It was rare that he did leave the marks this high up, but in this urgency he couldn’t seem to control himself all that much. You wined out, pushing your hips forward and meeting his own.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” He muttered in between kisses against your neck, hand moving down and coming to the edge of your work blouse, working to get it off of you as fast as he could but stopping for a moment to make sure that you wanted to go farther. You fervently nodded, helping him in taking your shirt off and throwing it down onto the ground near your bed. Quickly, you did the same thing with his shirt, untucking it from his pants and the moment it was off you ran your hands along his torso, marveling in the fine edges of his body. “All I could think was coming back to you and now that I’m finally here I’m blown away by how beautiful you are.” His words made you blush, as well as send a shock downward towards your core.

You needed him, you simply couldn’t wait anymore. You had waited for too long and you weren’t in the business of stopping any time soon and it was clear that he felt the same way. While you were waiting for him to come home, it wasn’t too apparent how much you truly missed him because after a while you found some other ways to occupy yourself. But now that he was here, all those feelings of want were coming back to you and you couldn’t help but start to speed up the process.

“Anakin, please, I need you now. I can’t wait anymore,” You whispered to him, loving the way that his lips felt while they kissed every single inch of your chest. You wanted to slow down and at the same time wanted to speed up, it was an odd feeling. But there would be more moments for the both of you to take it slow, now you just wanted to satiate the feeling that was growing rapidly in your core. He laughed at this, coming to meet your eyes with his own as they had a hint of teasing behind them. You gave him a small smile, but your eyes were glossed over with a type of lust and wanting that you were sure he could tell that you were serious.

In a matter of mere seconds, both of your pants and undergarments were off and he was getting into a more comfortable position on top of you, and you were spreading your legs open and just waiting for him. Anakin took one look down between your legs and muttered some type of curse in Huttese that you couldn’t understand and before you spoke to ask, he was pushing into you.

It felt like bliss.

The moment you adjusted to him and your walls relaxed, he began moving, slowly out and then plunging back into you with intensity. He continued that motion a few times, each making you moan out his name and flying your hands back into his hair, tugging on the golden, curled locks. You moaned out and it was louder than you were expecting, but it seemed to be exactly what he wanted to hear because he started going faster. You could hear the wet sloshing between the two of you and it only made you closer to that peak and the fire within you was almost raging.

Anakin kept kissing your neck until he went up and started kissing your lips. It was a sloppy kiss, all of his concentration was bent on making you feel good but you appreciated it, since you could feel all the love that he was giving you. You matched his pace, lifting up your hips to meet his when they came down and he hit at an even more deeper angle, both of you gasping into one another's mouths.

“Anakin, I’m going to-”

“Me too.”

Your orgasm snuck up on you and placed itself right onto your core, and with one more thrust you felt yourself release and your eyes rolled back into your head. For a moment it felt like you weren’t on Coruscant and you had flown up into the sky, that was how good it felt to be with him again. When you came back to reality, with a roll of your hips, Anakin was right behind you, releasing inside of you. Both of you stirred and he laid down on top of you, breathing heavily to try and catch his breath. Your hands rubbed up and down his back, fingers tracing inconsistent patterns along his skin.

A few more moments passed by and Anakin rose his head up, pressing a small kiss to your nose that made you smile. He also smiled, nuzzling into your neck.

“The second I catch my breath, we should go again.”

It was good to be back.

#Anakin Skywalker #clone wars anakin #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin x reader #star wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars prequels #star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #star wars smut #anakin x you

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

Text

positive

warnings: pregnancy, anxiety

word count: 3.8k (look at me go 😃)

Your stomach clenched as you walked into the store, keeping your head down. You didn't want anyone to see you. They would probably know what you were here for just by looking at your face.

You paused for a moment, wondering why you thought that would be so bad. You were an adult; a woman with a job and a house and a husband who loved you. There was nothing shameful about this. Worrying, yes. Terrifying, absolutely. But not shameful.

Even so, you refused to look at anyone as you made your way to the aisle you needed. Once you got there, you finally looked up, staring at the rows and rows of pregnancy tests.

You grabbed the closest one, wanting to get out of there as soon as you could. You brought it to the self check out, scanning it quickly and throwing it in a bag. You didn't release the breath you had been holding until it was safely hidden under the bag of chocolates you had also purchased. You had decided those were necessary, too. To manage your stress levels, obviously.

Once you got back to your car, you took s few steadying breaths.

Everything will be fine, you reminded yourself. Harry will be happy. He definitely wants kids. You’ve talked about this.. You know he will be happy.

Knowing that still didn't help much. Your hands were shaking as you turned the key in the ignition, backing out of your spot and heading home.

-----

This had been the longest two minutes of your life. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, shaking with nerves and forcing yourself to take deep breaths. The timer on your phone slowly ticked off the seconds until you could check the test. 45 seconds left. You stood, pacing in front of the sink.

30 seconds left. You braced your hands on the vanity, looking in the mirror. Were you really about to be a mother?

15 seconds left. You counted silently along with the timer, getting more nervous with each passing moment.

You stopped the timer on the first beep, taking one final steadying breath. You ran your hand through your hair, looking into the mirror again. You were a mess. Your eyes were red and watery, the mascara you had put on earlier smudged underneath.

You reached for the stick on the counter with a shaky hand. Just as you picked it up, your phone rang. You jumped, gasping and nearly flinging it away from you. You looked at your phone, heart pounding when you saw Harry's face smiling up at you. It’s like he knows, you thought. You quickly shook that idea away.

You exhaled shakily, setting the test down without looking at it and answering the call.

"Hi Harry," you said, sliding down to sit against the wall and pulling your knees to your chest.

"Hi love! How're you doing?" He smiled, leaning back against his dressing room wall.

"I'm- I'm good," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm just- I'm good."

"Are you sure? You sound like something’s wrong," He said, cursing himself for not FaceTiming you.

"No, I'm fine," you said. You almost laughed at how easily he could read you, even when he couldn't see you.

"Ok, if you're sure," he said, sounding hesitant. Immediately, his mind went into overdrive. What is she doing? Where is she? Why does she sound scared? Did something happen? Is- He was pulled out of his spiral when you spoke again.

"I'm sure, H. What's going on, though? Don't you have to perform in ten minutes?"

"I do, yeah, but I just really missed you," he said, sounding almost shy. "I haven't heard your voice in so long, just wanted to say hi."

You smiled, resting your head against your legs.

"It's so good to talk to you, I feel like it's been forever. I hate being so far away from you, in a whole different time zone. It's very stressful," you said, sighing.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, but it's only for two more days- oh," He smacked his hand over his mouth, but the damage had already been done. She wasn't supposed to know about that, you idiot, he mentally yelled at himself.

You sat up quickly, moving your phone away from your ear to check the date. You weren't crazy, it definitely read "Tuesday, March 8".

"What do you mean two more days? I thought you weren't back until the 24th?"

"Uh- oh boy, you weren't supposed to know- I wanted to surprise you. The shows got cut short. I wasn't going to tell you, I was just going to show up at the house and fall into your loving arms," he said, sighing dreamily. He smiled, already excited to see you for what felt like the first time in ages.

"You- you're not- Harry!" You practically yelled into the phone. You were elated at knowing you would get to see him so soon, but your panic quickly took over. What if the test was positive? You had expected to have two more weeks to figure out how to tell him that he was going to be a father.

"Wow, Y/N, I expected you to be happy!" he said, laughing. "Come on, you don't hate surprises that much. Plus, it's me," he said, shoulders slumping a bit. He kept his voice light and happy, but inside he was worried. Does she not want to see me?

"No, of course I am!" you said quickly. "It's not- I just... I planned to-" You paused, searching your mind for a believable lie. "I was going to paint the bedroom, you know, redecorate. Then when you came home it would be totally finished, and it would be all cute and everything."

"Well, this way I can help! It'll be fun, you know, a group project." He laughed, relaxing again.

"Yeah, sounds good," you smiled. Knowing him, he would probably be sending you paint swatches and furniture ideas for the next two days. He might actually be disappointed when he got home and you had an entirely different conversation ready for him.

"Two minutes, Harry!" you heard faint yelling in the background before Harry spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I've gotta go, they're yelling at me. Call you after?"

"Of course. Have fun, babe!"

"Thanks. Bye!"

Harry hung up, setting his phone on the dressing room vanity before he made his way to the door. Right before he stepped out, though, he had an idea. Spinning around, he quickly went back to his phone and pulled up his mom's contact.

Harry: I'm going onstage soon, could you go check on Y/N? I think something's up but she won't say. Thanks, love you️❤️

"Harry, get out here!" Someone yelled again.

"I'm coming!" He responded, quickly pressing send and putting his phone back down.

-----

You finally found the courage to stand up again. You decided it was best to do this fast, like ripping off a bandaid. So you reached for the test, flipping it over before you could lose your nerve.

Positive. It was definitely positive. You exhaled shakily, sitting down on the closed toilet seat.

You weren't sure how long you sat before you heard a knock at the door. You flinched, deciding to just ignore it. It couldn't be that important. At least, not more important than the crisis you were currently having.

The knocking didn’t stop, though, so you finally got up from the floor. As you made your way to the kitchen, you heard a gentle voice calling your name. Your head snapped up, red-rimmed eyes glancing through the window to see who it was. You nearly collapsed in relief when you saw your mother in law standing at the door. You quickly moved to open it, smiling apologetically at her.

“Anne, it’s good to see you, come in,” you said, holding the door open wider. “I’m sorry I took so long, I didn’t know you were coming by!”

She smiled back, stepping inside and pulling you into a hug. You leaned into her, eyes welling up as your emotions washed over you. She pulled back, looking worried.

“Y/N, what’s the matter? Oh, don’t cry dear, come, sit and let’s talk.” She led you into the living room, sitting you on the couch next to her. “Harry sent me. He was worried about you, said he thought something was wrong. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Your eyes welled up again at how thoughtful harry was. He could tell you were upset, even over the phone. Even when you insisted everything was fine.

“It’s just...” you could barely speak through your tears. “I’m sorry, I’m- I don’t know how to say this, it’s-“

Anne looked at you encouragingly, rubbing your back in a soothing motion.

You took a deep breath. “I’m- I think I’m pregnant,” you whispered.

Anne’s eyes went wide for a second before she broke into a smile.

“Really? Oh, Y/N, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you,” she said, pulling you into her arms. “But wait- you think? Did you take a test?”

“Yes, from the grocery store. But those aren’t always accurate, right?”

“I suppose, but... I don’t think those give false positives, almost ever. Y/N, are you- Are you not happy about this?”

“No, I am, I just- what will Harry say? He’s touring again soon, and there will almost certainly be more of that. What if he doesn’t want to put his entire career on hold? What if he’s not ready to have a baby? What if-“

“Y/N, slow down,” she said, pulling away to look at you. “Have you met the man? He loves children. He loves you. He loves you more than anyone else on this earth.”

“Besides you,” you added, chuckling. “And Gemma.”

“Honestly, I think that’s a three-way tie” she said, laughing. “Why don’t we get you a doctors appointment, confirm this.”

“Yeah, that’s probably smart,” you said. “Thank you so much, Anne. I was so scared,” you said, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“Of course, love! Anything for my daughter in law,” she said, hugging you again.

-----

Anne insisted on driving you to the appointment the next day, claiming she “wanted to be involved in every part of her possible grandchild’s life.” You had accepted reluctantly, not wanting to inconvenience her but secretly glad you weren’t alone.

Your leg bounced as you filled out the papers. You brought the completed forms to the desk, thanking the woman who told you the doctor would call you back soon. You settled back into your chair, checking your phone when it dinged.

Just like you had expected, Harry was sending you paint colors. He had sent about ten different shades of grey, then about twenty five different blues for “the accent wall”. You smiled at how excited he was. He was already great at domestic life, why should that be any different with a child?

-----

You texted Anne when the appointment was over, letting her know which door you were at. You got into the car, unable to contain your smile.

“Everything alright?” she looked at you expectantly.

“Yeah, I’m definitely pregnant,” you said, smiling. “Anne, you’re going to be a grandma.”

“Oh, congratulations! I’m so happy for you,” she said, leaning over the console to hug you. “Have you thought about how you’re going to tell Harry?”

“I actually do have an idea,” you said, pulling away to fasten your seatbelt. “Do you still have your Cricut?”

-----

You beamed as you held up the white onesie.

“Let’s see it, then!” Anne said excitedly.

You turned it around, revealing the large black Jersey font that read “STYLES 03”.

She was smiling as wide as you were. “That’s just precious, he’s going to love it,” she declared.

“Yeah?” You asked, grinning.

“Absolutely.”

Just then, your phone rang.

“Speak of the devil,” you said when you saw Harry’s face. You picked up the call, putting him on speakerphone so you could finish your project. “Hi Harry! Sorry I didn’t get to call you again yesterday, how was your show?”

“It was great, love, it went really well. How are you? Feeling better?”

“Yes, much. Thanks for sending your Anne to check on me, that was very sweet of you.”

“Yeah, of course! I’m glad she could be there, even though I couldn’t,” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Don’t make yourself upset, Harry, I’m always here for Y/N!” Anne said from across the table.

“Oh hi mum! Didn’t know you were there too. What have you two been up to?”

“Um...” you looked at Anne desperately, not sure what to tell him.

“Just been looking through some furniture, love,” Anne jumped in. You smiled at her gratefully.

“Oh, about that! I was thinking we should get one of those benches, you know, the ones that go at the end of the bed? I think they just add a nice little accent to the room. What do you think?”

“Sure, Harry, we can find one of those,” you said, smiling. Just then, you heard a strange grinding noise. You looked down to see the Cricut attempting to eat the vinyl you had been printing out. Your eyes went wide, trying to get Anne’s attention without alerting Harry. She yelped when she saw what you were pointing at.

“What happened?” Harry asked quickly.

“Uh, nothing, we just... found a really nice rug. I gotta go, Harry, talk later!”

You quickly hung up, trying to suppress your laughter as Anne fought with the machine.

“Stop that, you stubborn thing!” She said, pulling the paper out. “That’s quite enough out of you,” she said sternly, pressing the off button when the machine beeped at her.

Once everything was settled, Anne picked up the onesie again, smiling at the letters.

“Y/N, you really don’t have to worry. He’s going to be elated, truly.”

“I know, it’s just... a little scary,” you said, laughing nervously.

“Sure it is, this is a big thing! But remember that it’s a good thing, and it’s something you both want very much. And of course, so do I.”

“Right, of course,” you laughed. “Do you have a gift bag? I want to wrap that so it’s ready to give to Harry as soon as I can.”

-----

Your stomach had been fluttering since you got the text from Harry. The text. The one that read “just touched down! I’ll be home in two hours ️”. The text that meant you were about to tell him something that would change his life forever.

You were pacing in the living room, unsure of what else to do. You had tried to read a book, but that was useless. You found yourself reading the same sentence over and over with absolutely no comprehension. Then you tried making some pasta for Harry, since you knew it was his favorite and that he would be hungry. This didn’t go so well, though. You were so nervous and shaky that you almost splashed boiling water all over yourself. You decided it wasn’t wise to horribly injure yourself, so you moved on from that. You even tried watching Grey’s Anatomy, which had never failed to distract you before. Even so, you found yourself unable to relax. All you could think about was Harry. What would he say? What would his face look like when he saw the onesie? Would he get it, or would you have to outright tell him you were going to have his child?

You decided to listen to “Kiwi” to get yourself ready to say “I’m having your baby” in case he needed extra help understanding.

At this point, you were basically just watching the clock. You were sure the seconds had never been so long, even when you were waiting for the results of the test.

Finally, you gave up on trying to get your mind off the topic and decided to dive headfirst into it. You made your way upstairs to the room closest to you and Harry’s.

This will be the nursery, you thought with a smile.

You began to map everything out in your mind, from where the crib and dresser would go to what color the blinds would be. You quickly opened Pinterest, very creatively searching “cute nurseries”. You immediately made a new board, flooding your screen with images of play pens and rugs and wall stickers and rocking chairs and everything else you could possibly need.

The time passed faster than you had expected, and the next time you looked up it was 4:52. Knowing he would be home in less than 10 minutes started a whole new rush of nerves in you, and your heart started pounding again.

You went back to the living room, grabbing the little gift bag before going into the kitchen. You adjusted the tissue paper, making the onesie was completely concealed before you put the bag on the counter near the door. You leaned back against the sink, checking your phone again. Your heart jumped when the time changed to 5:00, knowing he would be home any second now. He always managed to get home exactly when he said he would, usually not even off by a minute.

By 5:01, your heart was absolutely pounding out of your chest. Your hands were shaking, so you gripped your phone tighter to steady them. You thought about going into the living room so you could sit, but then your thoughts were interrupted. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard the sound. A car door slamming.

You could barely breathe from the anticipation as you heard his heavy footsteps on the porch; his key clicking in the lock. You rushed forward to let him in, but he had already flung the door open.

He dropped his bags, not paying the slightest attention to where they landed. He didn’t hesitate for even a second before he surged forward, pulling you against him.

“I missed you so much,” he said, breathing heavily. “I would have died if I had to go one more day without seeing you.”

“H... I can’t breathe,” you said, your face squished against his chest. He laughed, loosening his grip just enough for you to fully inhale.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just so happy to see you,” he said, pressing his face to the top of your head. “I’m never going on tour without you again, I was so lonely.”

You smiled, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“I’d be ok if you took me with you next time,” you said, wrapping your arms tighter around him.

You stood there in his arms for a few more minutes, just listening to his heart beating. He swayed you gently, breathing in the sweet smell of your conditioner. Finally, he lifted his head.

“So, tell me everything!”

“Everything about...?” You said, looking up at him quizzically.

“The decorating! Did you and my mum buy any good stuff? I’m ready to go, I’ve been thinking about this for the past two days.”

You felt your face heating up as he looked at you. You felt kind of bad that your lie had gotten this far. He was practically ready to redo the entire house, thinking that’s what you wanted.

“Uh... why don’t we go to the living room?”

“Sure,” he smiled, grabbing your hand to lead you.

"Wait!" you said, pulling back. You reached behind him, picking up the gift bag. Then you smiled, allowing him to lead you to the couch.

Once you were both settled, he turned toward you expectantly. You took a deep breath, knowing everything was about to change.

“Ok... I’m really sorry, but I lied to you,” you said, avoiding his eyes. “There was no redecoration, there was no painting, there was no rug.”

“I- why? What were you doing that you couldn’t tell me about?” He asked, looked confused and a little bit hurt.

“No- it’s not... I wasn’t-”

“Why was my mom here, then?”

“Harry, just let me-”

“Why did you- was there-”

You could tell he was spiraling, and that he was probably imagining some pretty bad things. You couldn’t really blame him, though. You had been acting weird and secretive and now you straight up told him you had been lying. You knew this looked bad.

You quickly placed your hand on his knee, trying to ground him.

“Harry, will you let me talk, please?” You asked gently, looking in his eyes.

“Yeah, of course, I’m sorry,” he said, placing his hand over yours.

“Ok, here goes,” you said, blowing out a breath. “When you called me two days ago, the day you told me you were coming home early, you were right. Something was wrong. Well, not wrong exactly, just... scary,” you said, trying to collect your thoughts. And then when you called yesterday, when your mom was here, we weren’t looking at rugs. We were... crafting.”

“Crafting?” He said, looking confused. “Crafting what?”

“Well, it was... actually, why don’t you see for yourself?” You said holding up the gift bag.

He felt how shaky your hand was against his leg, and he looked at you with concern.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“Just... just open it, I’m fine,” you managed to get out.

He pulled away the tissue paper, looking very nervous. He lifted the tiny garment out, holding it up in confusion.

“What’s...” he trailed off as you motioned for him to turn it around. When he did, you were met with the big letters telling him there would soon be a third member of the Styles family. You quickly looked at his face, trying to decipher his thoughts.

He lowered the onesie, turning slowly toward you.

“It’s... you’re... really?” He said, a slow grin spreading across his features.

You nearly fell back against the couch in relief as you nodded.

“We’re... really?” He asked again, seemingly in disbelief.

“Yes, really,” you said, smiling.

“You’re- we’re having a baby?”

“Yes,” you repeated. “We’re having a baby.”

You barely got the chance to take a breath before he jumped on you, pushing you down on the couch and kissing you. When he pulled back, he didn’t go far. He leaned his forehead against yours, smiling from ear to ear.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered.

“We are,” you said, grinning.

“Wait,” he said, pushing himself up. He took your hand, pulling you up with him. “Does this mean we don’t get to redecorate? Because, honestly, I was getting really excited about that, I picked out some really good colors-”

You laughed, pressing your face against his chest.

“We can do whatever you want, we just have an extra room to think about now.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “The room where our little jellybean is going to live.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #fanfiction #one direction #one direction fanfiction #fluff #fluffy #pregnancy #dad!harry

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quentinbecks · 3 years

Text

Summary: Charlie left Hope County years ago hoping never to come back. But when she learns of her parents involvement with the local doomsday cult, she finds herself heading back to a life she thought she left behind. (Begins two years before the reaping/events of the game)

Words: 5 k

Warnings: The typical lack of boundaries from the Seeds, slight use of violence, mentions of violence and death, peer pressure to use drugs (bliss), and this is a big one, lots of talk of anxiety/ build up to a panic attack.

A/N: Thank you so much to @adelaidedrubman and @johnnycranes for being my betas/second and third eyes on this! And to @smut-goblin for hitting me with the writing stick! You have no idea how much I appreciate you guys 💕 Since the atonement process begins now, hopefully I can start putting these out in a timely manner from here on out.

Chapter 4: Snakes in the Garden

“We’ll begin the process of atonement immediately.”

Charlie glances up at the man through her lashes. She should be trying to run away; pushing his hands off of her face, but she can’t. Frozen in place with John’s hands cupping her cheeks; their foreheads pressed together. From this angle she can see all the freckles that adorn his neck and collarbone. It almost makes him seem human.

“I thought,” she stammers, “I thought I was just getting baptized. That’s what we agreed to.”

John sighs, pulling away to look down at her; hands still gripping her face. “You will be cleansed, you will confess all of your sins, and then you will atone. That’s the only way you can reach true salvation. And you did just promise me you would allow me the gift of saving you,” he grits out, the hold on her face getting tighter as he goes on.

Charlie squirms away, attempting to free herself without making matters worse. “You’re hurting me,” she hisses as she grabs a hold of his hands. She may be willing to play along with his mind games; keep up whatever foolish charade she needs to to stay safe, but she draws the line at having pain inflicted on her.

The Baptist just nods as he backs away, hands held up as if to show her he won’t touch her.

Too fucking late.

But there was no apology, and Charlie can’t really say she’s surprised. “Listen,” she says as she leans against the brick wall, fingers rubbing the spots where her face was held, “you can have my soul or my salvation or whatever the fuck it is you want. But what happens to me afterwards?”

If she’s being honest, Charlie is afraid of the answer. Does she get to have a normal life? Just one within the parameters of the cult’s rules? Will they force her to marry another member of the project in one of those giant, mass weddings like the Moonies? Or will they just kill her? It’s selfish and would be a great betrayal to her friends, but she would marry The Father himself if it meant keeping them safe.

John sighs, sitting on the couch, legs crossed and arms spread across the back; posture too casual for such a tense environment. “I think it’s best we take the process day by day.”

Charlie glares at the man, only receiving a chuckle in return as he notices her olive eyes fill with rage. “Relax, sweetheart. I won’t send you back up to the mountains; back up to my big, bad, brother.”

Sitting down in the chair across from him, Charlie wills herself to calm down. The shock of the situation is starting to wear off rapidly and she can feel the panic inside her start to rise just as fast.

“Can we at least discuss the immediate future? Like, me going home?”

“What,” John teases, a hint of faux sadness in his voice, “you don’t like it here?”

Not really she thinks. But she would rather not vocalize her thoughts; too tired from all of the youngest Seed’s threats and games. She’s pretty sure she’ll combust from stress if she has to stay at the ranch a moment longer.

“Haven’t you had enough fun tormenting me for one day. I’m just,” her voice shakes and she can feel her heart start to pound; her anxiety starting to make itself known, “not in the mood for this shit. Please. Just let me go home.”

Charlie wishes she could kick her own ass at this very moment. Uncomfortable with becoming so emotional in front of John, but there was only so long that false sense of bravado and heroism could last. But the sight of his guest on the verge of a nervous breakdown does seem to have an effect on the man.

“Wait here.” He says, standing up and heading towards the door. He turns back before stepping out to look at her. “Don’t leave before I get back.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

John just gives her a smirk before leaving. Flopping back onto the chair with a sigh, Charlie closes her eyes. She’s sure trying to take a power nap in a herald’s house is just asking for trouble, but she’s too exhausted to care.

She’s barely relaxed for more than thirty seconds when the door bursts open causing her to jump.

“Charlene, this is Deanna. She’ll be taking you back.”

“What about you?” Charlie cringes inwardly at herself. Now she knows she really needs to get out of here, the environment is clearly taking a toll on her sanity quicker than she anticipated.

A faint smile creeps across John’s lips before he rights himself. “Don’t worry. Deanna is one of my most trusted chosen.”

Charlie takes in the woman she’s being handed off to. She’s not much older than her, tall, tan, and athletic. She can tell by the excited grin on the chosen’s face that the other woman will most likely get on her nerves.

“Hello, sister,” Deanna says with a wave.

“We’re not quite there yet.”

“Here,” John drops a white hardcover on her lap. “Try to read this before your baptism.”

Charlie thumbs through the book curiously. She may not have had any sort of religious education, but she’s pretty sure this isn’t the traditional Christian text.

“Is this a bible?”

“It’s the Book of Joseph.” The chosen chirps from across the room. “It shows us the hardships the Father went through and how God spoke to him and showed him the path; the path that would save us all from the Collapse.”

“Sounds enlightening.”

“It is.” John is behind her now, hands on her shoulders. “But as much as I would love to keep you here to continue this conversation, I thought you wanted to leave.”

Charlie recoils at his usage of the word “keep”. She can’t see the man, but she’s sure he’s wearing an arrogant smirk; a smirk that she would happily slap off of his face if she wasn’t trying to behave.

Nodding, she gets up. “Thank you for the talk. It’s been… eye-opening.”

John leans over the chair as he beams at her. “I’m just glad you agreed to let me,” he pauses as if he’s contemplating his words, “work with you.”

“Well, you didn’t leave me with much of a choice. Certain death or,” she gestures towards him, “you. And I like being alive, thank you very much.”

Charlie doesn’t bother to wait for a response, pushing past the chosen and out the door to wait on the steps. She doesn’t need to wait very long as Deanna follows after her almost immediately. “My truck’s down there,” the woman points down the driveway to an old, white pickup with a black Eden’s Gate sigil on the hood.

Following silently behind the other woman, she tries to catch her breath. Relax, she chants to herself internally. In only twenty minutes you’ll be safe. Charlie tells herself she can do this as she gets in the car. All she has to do is wait a few, short minutes and she can scream and cry as much as she wants to.

The car ride is silent for the most part and Charlie is glad for it. Until about halfway to her parent’s house when the chosen turns to look at her nervously. “So,” she pauses, chewing on her lip, “are you excited to be joining the project?”

Charlie gives her a snort in response. Leaning her head against the glass, she closes her eyes. “That’s an overstatement.”

“Well, I’m thrilled to have you here. I really like your mom.” Deanna gives her a grin before turning back to the road. “And besides, we don’t have many young women. It’ll be nice to have a friend.”

Friend Charlie scoffs. “Let’s just take this day by day,” she says, repeating the exact phrase John used on her earlier.

She’s relieved to see her parent’s house come into view as they turn the bend. Grabbing onto the handle, the young woman prepares to jump out the minute the truck pulls into the drive.

Charlie goes to shut the door when Deanna calls out to her. “I know you’re scared or angry or whatever it is you’re feeling, but I’m happy you’re here. Maybe we’ll even get to work at the ranch together.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Slamming the door closed, Charlie heads towards the house. She looks back to watch the chosen back out. Once she’s absolutely sure she’s gone, Charlie heads to the bunker in the backyard.

Clutching The Book of Joseph that hasn’t left her hands since she left John’s house, she climbs down the ladder. Charlie gags once she’s inside the bunker, the musty air that hits her makes her think that it’s been years since anyone has been down there.

She barely makes it to the couch before her breath becomes labored, adding to her already rising blood pressure. Tossing the book on the sofa she begins to pace around the room. What is she supposed to do? How is she supposed to explain this to Eli? Will Mary May even trust her again after this?

Letting out a frustrated cry, Charlie slinks to the floor. She has to make them understand she’s doing this for them.

But are you really? Pops into her mind. She offered to join the project the moment she felt her life was in danger, not her friends. Protection for her friends only came as part of the bargain after she agreed to have her soul saved.

But is it really wrong to want to save yourself? To value your own life? Not really, she thinks. Trying not to dwell too hard on the guilt that’s eating at her, Charlie goes to pick up the radio she notices lying dusty and dormant on the desk.

Blowing the dust off, she turns the dials until she finds the channel that would reach Eli and the Wolf’s Den.

Pausing to sniffle, she presses down on the button to talk. “Hello? Eli? Tammy? Anyone? It’s Charlie.” She clears her throat awkwardly as she waits for a response. “Um, over?” She adds.

“Ya know, it’s not really necessary to say over.”

“I know, Wheaty, but no one was answering.”

Charlie can hear the younger man laugh into the microphone. “Well, ya gotta give us more than ten seconds to get to the radio, Charlie.”

“Patience has never been my strong suit.” Sighing, she bites her lip. Not sure of how to go about relaying the message about the mole in the militia; not even sure she should be telling them this. But, it’s the right thing to do. And it’s not like she made a promise to John about what she would do with the information either way.

“Is Eli around?”

“He’s out scoutin’ right now. Whatcha need?”

Charlie knows it’s not Wheaty who’s the betrayer, but she has a bad feeling about repeating the news over the airwaves.

“Is anyone else from the militia there?”

There’s a long pause over the line as she waits for the young militiaman’s answer.

“It’s just me and Tammy here. Why what’s wrong?”

Picking up the radio, Charlie goes to sit on the dilapidated couch. She takes in a deep breath, trying to quell the feeling in her gut that’s telling her she’s making a mistake.

“Tell them that there’s a snake in the garden. They snitched on me to the Seeds. They know I killed one of Jacob’s hunters and I-”

“Who is it? Are you at The Veteran’s Center?” Wheaty interrupts her. There’s a hitch in his breath as he asks his next question. “Did they take you?”

“No,” Charlie can feel tears start to fall and she digs her nails into her thigh to stop herself from openly showing her distress, “but I can’t come back to the Wolf’s Den anymore. That’s why I need you to report back to Eli, shit even Tammy, what I just told you.”

“But why-”

She lets out a deep sigh before cutting him off. “Can you just trust me? I’m trying to protect you. All I ask in return is you get rid of your rat infestation.”

Charlie waits, the static of the radio the only response.

“You got it.”

“Thanks, kid. I’ll see ya when I see ya.”

And with that she flicks off the power, unable to continue the conversation; unable to accept her newly minted fate.

Tossing the machine onto the ground, Charlie falls back onto the couch. She decides to spend the rest of her day inside the bunker, certain her parents won’t come searching for her here. She isn’t ready to hear the exuberance of her mother when she tells her the news of her joining the cult; if it was up to her she would have offered Charlie’s hand in marriage the moment she had stepped foot onto the compound.

Though, Christine has probably already found out if John was actually telling the truth about there being a meeting. She can’t bear to think about the two of them conspiring about her; about her future. It’s too much to deal with. The whole day has been too emotionally taxing for the young woman.

Charlie reaches behind her, picking up the stray Book of Joseph; her curiosity getting the better of her. She’s pretty sure the whole book will be monotonous; mundane monologues about their terrible childhoods. It’s the same bullshit with every cult leader. Regardless, she wants to find the juicy bits for future ammunition for the next time John Seed wants to throw jabs at her about her own youth. They’re alike, her ass.

Opening the book to a random page, Charlie settles in. Admittedly, the book is a hard read, both from Joseph’s unreliable narration and the abuse the two eldest Seeds regularly suffered. What catches her eye, though, are the bits of a young, barely more than a toddler, John being beaten; abuse so bad it forced the brothers into foster homes.

The new information forces Charlie to slam the book shut. She can’t help but feel guilt and pity for the man, all of them if she’s being honest, but especially John. She doesn’t know if these feelings are stemming from the parental neglect she suffered as a kid or if it’s because of her own desperate desire to become a mother; to be able to give a child a life she was deprived of. She doesn’t even know if any of this is actually; maybe it’s all a ploy for people like her to feel empathy for them.

Shaking her head, Charlie closes her eyes. Do not think of them as anything more than the monsters they are, she chides herself.

Curling up into a ball on the couch, she tries to relax; tries to clear her mind of all the dizzying emotions that came from today. After what feels like hours of breathing exercises and mantras to shut her brain off, she finally falls asleep.

The nightmare is the same as it is every night. Charlie finds herself being hunted through the Whitetails by one of Jacob’s red camo clad chosen. And just like always she kills them; just as it happened in real life. But this time, the outcome has changed.

It’s still her blood splattered face that’s exposed after the ski mask is ripped off, but the eyes staring back at her are no longer the hazel eyes of the recently deceased hunter. This time they’re sky blue; blue like the eye color shared by all of the male Seeds.

Charlie wakes up with a start. Heart racing wildly, she puts her palm over her chest in a vain attempt to calm it down.

“Fuck me.”

She’s no dream interpreter, but Charlie is definitely concerned this means something. Means that she’s become prey to the Seeds; that she’s become some sort of toy for them to play with at will. It’s distressing, especially since she’s worked for years to ensure she would never be in such a vulnerable position with men again. And now here she is; in the belly of the beast, but this time it’s worse. This time it’s with cult leaders rather than a gaslighting husband.

“I need a drink,” she mutters to herself as she sits up.

Charlie heads up to her parents house, the early summer sun blinding her as she exits the bunker. “Mom? Daddy?” she calls out once she’s made it back inside. The calls for her parents are met with dead silence.

Searching through rooms gives her no leads on where they could be until she finds a note plastered to the refrigerator.

“Princess,

Mammon and I will be out for most of the day. You can find your mother up at Black Horse Peak if there’s an emergency. I’ll be out fishing on the bay with a few friends from church. Both of us should be back by dinner time. Don’t get into any trouble while we’re gone, ma fille.

Love,

Papa”

Charlie sighs. She was hoping to not be alone after the nightmare she had, let alone the day she had previously. But, on the bright side now she has time to come up with a way to explain to her parents about her change of heart towards Eden’s Gate.

Deciding the best course of action would be to tell them over dinner; a dinner where she can spike her own drink to take the edge off. There’s no worries about them being disappointed or angry with her. No, she needs to drink to hide the disappointment in her own mother who will be delighted that her boss managed to break down her daughter into joining his family’s cult. In one day too. What a feat!

A couple hours pass with Charlie trying and failing to concoct a meal when there’s a knock at the door. Immediately going on guard since she wasn’t expecting any guests, she grabs a kitchen knife off the counter.

As she heads over to the door she peeks outside the window to see who her surprise visitor is. None other John Seed is standing there on her porch; a look of fury written all over his face.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she says, slamming the knife down on the entrance table.

Opening the door with a bit of trepidation, Charlie begins to panic. Why would he come here when he could have just had her brought to him? Why come when she’s all alone? The normally well-coiffed Seed looks frazzled; his usual slick backed hair falling loosely in his face.

“What do you want?” she asks through the crack in the door. Instead of giving her a response, John pushes his way into the house.

“Oh, okay. Please, come inside,” Charlie grumbles as she slams the door shut.

She watches as John paces through the living room; watching as he runs a hand through his hair, letting out a dark chuckle as he does so. The situation started out unsettling and now it’s just flat out creeping her out.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” John asks, finally looking up at her.

Charlie blinks at him trying to understand what she could have possibly done in the last twenty four hours to anger him this badly. And then it dawns on her. She told the Whitetails about the mole amongst them and she’s guessing Eli handled the problem.

Oops.

“What exactly did you expect me to do? Allow your brother to keep getting intel on my friends? So he could, what, pounce on them when the timing was right? I don’t think so.”

“No, you’re right.” He clears his throat before leaning against the wall, no longer manically pacing around the room, but calm and collected. “I trusted you too early; had hoped you would be grateful for the gift I’ve given you, but I see now I was mistaken. Instead, you would rather squander it and try and pull off these childish antics of yours.”

John pushes himself off the wall, slowly making his way towards her; the action preemptively making her back herself against the counter.

“But I’m not worried about it. And you know why?” He knocks on the table as he continues on.

Charlie shakes her head “no”, uncertainty over whether that was the right answer setting in.

“Because Joseph saw you walk through the Gates of Eden with us; with me. So, I know all of the trouble you’re putting us through will be worth it in the end. I just need you to recognize your purpose and start behaving.”

They’re so close now; too close for Charlie’s comfort. She puts a hand between them; her fingers lightly touching his torso. The touch makes her flinch, but after he put her face in a vice-like grip just the day before, she’s not letting him get that close again.

“Walking through the Gates of Eden? What does that even mean?” She furrows her brow, she’s pretty certain Joseph is just making up visions to have his brother keep her in line, nevertheless the possible euphemism unnerves her. “Is that like heaven? Are you here to commit a murder suicide?”

Charlie quickly realizes that that may be the wrong thing to say when she sees the scowl cross John’s face.

He leans in closer to her, forcing her makeshift barrier of her wrist to drop. “You are in no position to be making jokes, sweetheart”, the Baptist glares down at her. “Because you, Charlene, in less than three weeks have managed to get two of our chosen killed. One by your own hand and,” John looks down towards her lips, “and one by your big fucking mouth,” he hisses at her.

“Good.” Charlie shoves him away, trying to reclaim some of her personal space. “That last one snitched on me; took my life away from me. So I guess we’re even now. Eye for an eye. Isn’t that what you people believe in?”

“You know, you’re not nearly as clever as you think you are.” Sitting on their loveseat, John splays himself out as if he owns the place; the overly cocky attitude in full swing again.

Admittedly, Charlie does feel some guilt over the news of another chosen dead. There’s a part of her that’s curious about who they were in the militia, but the other part doesn’t need that on her conscience; not when the first death has been haunting her dreams nightly.

“Joseph entrusted me with your atonement; he still has faith that you’ll come around. Jacob still believes you deserve to be punished. Now I’m of two sides,” he says, leaning forward. “I believe you need to be reprimanded for this; for making some of the project’s best hunters spend their morning burying their friend. But death is too harsh.”

“What – what were you thinking of doin’?” Charlie stutters, her drawl starting to slip out.

“I was thinking of moving up your baptism. To tonight.”

“No!” Charlie all but yells as she marches over to where John is perched. “I – I haven’t even read your brother’s book yet! I don’t know what I’m getting myself into! I don’t even have anything to wear!”

She’s practically in between the man’s legs and she’s half tempted to bend down and scream in his face; make him feel as small as he constantly makes her feel. But it’s inappropriate and she immediately rights herself of the urge.

“None of that matters. All that matters to me is that you start the process soon.”

It dawns on Charlie that she should be questioning John on why he is so insistent on keeping her alive; what he meant by her walking through the Gates of Eden with him specifically. But a voice inside of her tells that she’s certain to find out sooner rather than later; and she might not like the answers she gets.

“Can I at least find something decent here to wear?”

“Yes, but,” John shifts uncomfortably, “I need you to keep the door open. I can’t trust you to not try and run.”

Charlie laughs as she heads into her parent’s room. “Where could I run to that you wouldn’t find me?”

She shuts the door a crack, partly out of habit, partly because she doesn’t want John watching her undress. The thought of him seeing her naked alone makes her grimace.

It takes her a few minutes, but she’s able to find something buried in the closet. It's pink and floral, not her usual color, but it’s a sundress and that’s all that matters to her. Pulling her shorts and cropped top off she watches in the mirror as John loiters around her family’s dining room.

Uncomfortable with the Baptist going through their belongings, she quickly pulls the dress on; tossing her honey brown hair into a ponytail.

“Excuse me?”

“Ah, you’re ready,” he says as he comes and leans on the doorframe to the bedroom. “Like I said earlier, I can’t trust you. So I need you to do me a favor before we can leave.” John pulls a flask from his jacket pocket, handing it over to her as if she’s just supposed to accept a drink from him.

“I thought you guys banned this shit? Too good for a stiff drink or two.”

“It’s not alcohol.”

Charlie scoffs. He wants to roofie her so she’ll behave; be a good girl for the Seeds. And he thinks she’s going to consent to this? Fuck that.

“Then I’m not drinking it. Not until you tell me what’s in it.” She has spent way too many years practicing drink safety to just take a drugged drink, even if the man giving it to her is warning her in advance.

“It’s bliss,” John says as if she would understand what that means. But he sees the confusion written all over her face. “It’s safe. You’ll be fine. It’ll keep you calm for a couple of hours. Enough to get you through the cleansing . And after that,” he smiles down at her, “we can work on building trust.”

“What if I say no?”

John’s smile turns sour suddenly, stepping forward to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Like I said earlier, I’ll be forced to take your sins out the people you love the-“

“Okay, enough with the threats,” Charlie groans as she snatches the flask from his hands. “You’re a huge dick, ya know that?” She shoves past him, “a real pushy asshole.”

Uncapping the flask, she takes a sniff. It’s oddly sweet smelling. Maybe it won’t be so bad? She thinks to herself. John watches her intently as she puts the container to her lips. She can’t help but feel that he’s enjoying this too much.

The drink itself is bitter in spite of its fragrant scent. The taste makes her want to throw the flask across the room; then maybe projectile vomit afterwards. She manages to get a bit down before handing it off to John.

“I think I’m ready,” she says, trying to hold the bile in her throat down.

John nods, heading out the door. Charlie starts to feel nervous as she follows suite; afraid that she may pass out and be taken to God knows where to have God knows what done to her.

“Don’t worry about the door. I’ll have one of my chosen let your family know where you are so they can join us.”

“Okay,” she mumbles, allowing John to open the car door for her to get in.

Eli and the Whitetails will come for you soon. They know you’re in trouble now and he’ll come and save you. They have to. She thinks as she watches the youngest Seed walk around the vehicle to get in as well. And she wants his head on a platter when they do.

There’s not much time to dwell on thoughts of being rescued. John has barely backed out of the driveway by the time Charlie has started seeing green and feeling dizzy. Her head drops back to fall against the cool leather of the headrest.

“I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a moment,” she slurs; eyes drooping shut. Before she knows it, she’s out cold; on the way to start the most interesting chapter of her life thus far.

#fic: stillness in woe #john seed x oc #john seed #oc: charlie berger #far cry 5 fic #yay! baptism next chapter #we’re really in it now

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svnflowervol666 · 4 years

Note

I always imagine Daddy H sitting behind Y/N and holding her tight when she gives birth; at one point he sees her struggling towards the end and senses something is wrong and literally helps the baby out because his shoulder was stuck or whatever and quickly takes the baby and puts it on her chest (kourtney kardash literally dragged her own baby out 😭) while wrapping his arms from behind even tighter around her

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: childbirth

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for sending in this ask, I absolutely love it! My apologies if it’s totally off in terms of how actual child birth is as it was not my intention. I live for sweet little intimate blips in people’s lives, and I think this ask was a perfect one for me! As always, let me know what you think and what you want to see next. Take care and TPWK.

Harry loved the idea of a home birth. He loved the thought of welcoming his firstborn within the confines of his own warm walls. There’d be no paparazzi, no cameras desperate to sneak a peek at the three of them for click bait, no privacy violations. With a home birth, they were free to do as they pleased, to act as they pleased, to love as they pleased. It’s what Harry wanted in terms of how his first child should be brought into this world, kicking their red little legs and screaming with all of the might that their little lungs could give. It’s what they wanted

But this is not what Harry meant by a home birth.

Y/N had experienced tons of false contractions throughout her pregnancy, and only being in her eighth month with no complications whatsoever, she had believed that the ones she’d been having for the past several hours were nothing but that. False contractions. But she couldn’t have been more wrong. She was, in fact, in actual labor and had been for hours now without realizing, which had brought her to where she was right now: naked, screaming, and crying in her own bathtub with just enough water to cover her waist with Harry’s arms wrapped tightly around her as she mustered all of her rapidly declining strength that she could to push her tiny human out of her.

“Harry,” the voice on the other end of the phone that was perched on the lip of the tub spoke calmly, “How is she doing?”

“Not really sure how t’ answer that.” He responded through gritted teeth.

Their doula, the woman hired to coach the two of them through her pregnancy and then through childbirth was currently stuck in traffic over half of an hour away from the Styles residence, hence why she was currently giving them remote instructions on how to properly birth a child. The doula had insisted that Y/N refrain from pushing until the very last second to mitigate any complications that would occur without her presence, but baby Styles had other plans. Judging from what the doula would make out over Y/N’s screaming and Harry’s horrible attempts at explaining to her what was happening, she guessed the baby would be making it’s arrival any second now.

“Listen, if you’re in distress, you two need to just call for a lift to the hospital. I’m about twenty minutes away but if you don’t think you can handle it, then please take Y/N to a doctor.”

“I can’t get up,” Y/N cried, squeezing Harry’s biceps as hard as she possibly could when another contraction ripped through her abdomen.

Her hair was soaked with sweat and she felt like her chest and body were on fire. She had imagined for nine whole months about what it would feel like to birth hers and Harry’s child, but none of what she’d conjured up compared to the agony she was in right now. Even though she’d only been in the tub that Harry frantically ran for her via the doula’s instructions for 45 minutes, it might has well have been hours. The only thing that had been keeping her body from giving out completely on her was knowing that in the aftermath of all this pain, she’d be left with the beautiful baby that her and Harry had been growing in her tummy all this time.

“‘ts ok, Y/N. We’re gonna be fine,” Harry brushed her matted hair off of her neck with his hand that was wet from the bathtub water where he had been holding her legs open.

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it to a hospital,” he called out sternly to the phone.

He was trying his hardest not to panic for Y/N’s sake, but his voice still shook and his body still vibrated with anxiety every time their doula gave him another instruction or Y/N’s condition changed.

“Alright,” the doula answered, “I need you to check on Y/N for me and tell me if you can see the baby’s head crowning.”

As he got up to check on the progress of the baby from where he was sat behind her, she squeezed him once more, begging him not to move.

“Please don’t leave me, Harry.”

Harry felt his heart twinge at her words, though he knew what she really meant. He knew for a fact that he’d have bruises on his arms in the shape of Y/N’s fingers, but he also knew that no matter how he was feeling or what his condition as a pending father was, it didn’t come close to how Y/N was feeling. She was pushing a 6 pound (according to their last checkup) human out of her vagina with no medication and hardly any warning whatsoever. His bruises weren’t shit compared to the excrutiating state he knew she was in.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, love. Just gotta check on the baby.”

When he leaned over briefly to get a good look at what laid between Y/N’s legs, his eyes widened enough to concern Y/N.

“What? Harry, what?!” she yelled through her teeth when he took longer than half of a second to reply.

“I can see the head,” Harry spoke loudly so that both Y/N and their doula could hear.

The corners of his mouth turned up just slightly at his first ever glance at what would be his firstborn.

“That’s good. Harry?” the doula asked.

“Ye’?”

“I need you to sit at her feet and get ready to catch the baby when it comes out. Do you think you can do that?”

“‘f course,” Harry answered, though it made his palms twice sweaty upon realizing that he was actually going to have to birth this child on his own because it was clear now that their doula would not be making it on time to help him.

Y/N interrupted with another wrenching sob as she felt the urge to push once more with all of her might. This time, Harry actually saw the baby move further out of her and it stunned him.

“Did the baby move?”

“Ye’. Head’s almost all of the way out,” Harry answered the woman’s question again.

“That’s great. You’re doing great. Y/N. You’re almost done. Once the head is out, it’s pretty much smooth sailing from there,” she reassured her as best as she could whilst nearly running red lights to get to their house.

Y/N nodded (as if the doula would have been able to see) as she readjusted herself in the tub now that Harry wasn’t behind her anymore. Her brows were permanently furrowed together and her chest would not stop heaving strained, troubled breaths, but Harry couldn’t have thought that she looked more beautiful. Clearly, he knew she was not feeling her best and is probably dead set on never letting Harry put his dick inside of her again if it leads to all of this, but it didn’t stop Harry from falling more in love with her right now than he ever had before.

Harry leaned over her swollen and stressed body to get closer to her face.

“You can do this, Y/N,” he muttered so that only she could hear, “Just give me a few more good pushes and they’ll be here. Then we’ll have our baby, yeah?”

She nodded through her tears, her hands moving to rest in his hair as he did the same to her.

“You’ve got t’ breathe for me. Deep breath in,” Harry followed along with her, filling his lungs with the muggy bathroom air as she did the same.

“Deep breath out,” he coached her through her breaths in the way that he learned in the one parenting class they tried out before ditching it entirely, having decided it was all just a way to scam people out of their money.

Good thing he at least gave the class half of his attention so he was able to recall that much.

“I love you,” Harry told Y/N as he pressed hip lips against her forehead before returning to his position in front of her open legs.

“I love you, too,” she squeezed Harry’s hands in response.

Something came over Harry in the following moments. He became possessed with the overwhelming urge to put his mind and soul into helping Y/N through this. He wanted to be there for her as much as humanly possible to help alleviate her qualms about whether or not their baby would make it here safely, to let her know that Y/N was going to make it out of the other side safely despite her worries that her body might give out.

It was as if everything in the world ceased to exist as Harry held her hands while she continued to push. He felt his bones grinding together from how hard she was squeezing them and his knees ached from being planted on the uncomfortable porcelain. Slowly but surely, Harry watched as the baby inched its way outside of Y/N’s body every time she let out a piercing scream and pushed as hard as she could . It was when he noticed a mere halt in the delivery that he began to think something might be wrong.

“I think.....I think the baby’s stuck?” Harry pondered aloud so that the doula could hear.

“What do you mean, Harry? Tell me what you see?”

He felt Y/N’s body tense up at his worrisome tone, but Harry shook his head at her to let her know that it didn’t mean that she needed to panic.

“I think...Think the shoulder’s caught maybe? The baby’s comin’ out at an angle it almost looks like. Haven’t moved at all in a few pushes.”

Harry had no idea what he was saying nor did he know if he was correct in the slightest, but he was almost certain that whatever was happening shouldn’t be.

“That happens. It’s nothing to worry about. You just have to reach in there and pull them yourselves sometimes. If you three can hang tight for me, I’ll be there in about ten minutes and then I can take over.”

Both Harry and Y/N felt their hearts flutter and exchanged knowing looks when their doula referred to them as a party of three. It was becoming a reality, there being only the two of them in the house anymore. Sure, the baby was only about thirty percent out of Y/N’s birth canal, but any second now they would all be meeting each other for the first time.

“I really feel like I can just-” Harry began to prod around the baby’s head, to which Y/N jerked backwards.

“Harry, please don’t. You heard her. She’s almost here. Let’s just wait.”

A fresh wave of tears streamed from the corners of her eyes. She sounded depleted and at her wit’s end, like she didn’t have much longer before she completely gave up. It made Harry even more determined to help.

“Do ye’ trust me?” Harry peered up at her through his own mussed hair.

Her eyes were closed and her head was facing the ceiling as if she was trying to channel her focus on anything but the pain she felt, but Harry still made out the faint nod that she gave him in response.

“Look at me, Y/N,” Harry demanded, rubbing circles on her thighs where his hands were planted.

His voice trembled harder than it ever had before, but he was confident with what he was about to do next.

“I need ye’ to give me one, good push and I’m gonna pull the baby out. Can ye’ do that? Just one more.”

She was utterly exhausted, but she nodded at her lover once more. The couple braced themselves, counting down from three before Y/N pushed like she never had before. Harry then worked his fingers around the baby’s body and quite literally bumped their shoulder free so that he could pull them the rest of the way out of her. Y/N wailed at the sudden disturbance of Harry reaching his hand inside of her to help the baby out, but her cries were soon replaced by a different set of lungs.

Harry was in disbelief when he first heard the baby cry. It’s what pulled him from his state of shock and made him realize that, for the first time, he was holding his child in his arms. He moved quickly, placing the red-faced infant on Y/N’s chest so he could reach for the stack of towels he had laid out on the toilet seat. As gently and as quickly as he could, he found his way back behind Y/N so that she and the baby were laying against his chest.

He held them close as all three of them cried, two of them tears of joy, the other tears of being removed from the comfort of their mother’s womb. Y/N and Harry couldn’t quit mumbling coos to their little one, in absolute awe of the tiny human that they created together. Harry did his best through his tears to clean some of the goop out of the baby’s eyes so that they could properly see the bub, still paying no attention to the mess in the tub that they were all sitting in. He had his family and that was all that mattered. That was all that would ever matter.

Amidst basking in the glory that was successfully delivering their own child and holding them close for the first time in nine long months, Y/N realized something.

“Wait,” she exhaled forcefully, clearly fighting exhaustion.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

Harry’s chest rumbled with a short laugh, causing Y/N’s body to shift as well before he laid his head against her shoulder.

“Ye’ know what? I didn’t even look.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles x pregnant!reader #dad!harry #dad!harry x reader #dad!harry x pregnant!reader #asks

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draculaurafangz · 3 years

Text

swim good / p. parker

a/n: honestly i did not plan on posting anything but i had to get this out of my drafts because, it’s been there for a while. anyways, this was based off of frank ocean’s song “swim good”. if you’ve ever listened to the song then you’d definitely know what i’m getting at with this. also, you guys can imagine the reader to look however you want, it’s not limited to like one specific image.

warnings: there’s like, a whole lotta angst, there’s curses here & there, and mentions of smut (not really but it’s kinda there, if you read you understand. lmao i don’t like writing smut at all.) also peter’s aged up 18 in this story & in college.

─ ─ ─

peter parker was very popular at your school. not only was it because of the fact that the whole entire school knew he was spiderman, but it was because he was known for sleeping around with girls on campus. thinking back on it, peter doesn’t even remember how it happened. one minute he was this nerdy, awkward teenager who always read his comic books and put together star wars lego sets, and here he is now messing around with girls and tugging at their heartstrings.

at first, he was obsessed with the idea of being this chick magnet. he lived with the pride, no matter how many girls he had lead on and given false hope to.

but now, he’s not so sure.

he’s realized he’s caused other girls around the school, and even in queens, a ton of pain. but most importantly, he had hurt you a great deal. to the point where you had left voicemails, telling him you wished you’d never see him again, and that you regret anything you ever did with him.

peter doesn’t regret it, he actually felt some sort of feeling towards you. out of all the other friday night hookups, you were different. your aura and your presence was just unmatched to those other girls. of course, you cursed yourself for ever sleeping with him because you knew about his reputation. but when you know you had the opportunity you had to take it. you thought you would be able to convince him and change his mind, but it was no use.

so here peter is on a friday night, sitting in his room all by himself, no hookup present. he missed you. god, he missed you so fucking much. he knew you wouldn’t talk to him if he just messaged you or even left a voicemail. he couldn’t bring himself to even think about the last conversation the two of you had because he hated seeing your face. you were broken and in pain. tears streaming down your face as your voice boomed within the room. saying that he was an asshole, and you thought you could actually change him but there was no point in changing him.

little did you know, you did change peter. you changed him a lot, to the point where you caused him to think about his past. there were some girls that honestly treated his hookups the way they were, and some actually cared but soon after got over it. then there were some like you who had been extremely heartbroken. peter never really paid attention to them though because they always made it their mission to ignore him.

it’s not that you didn’t ignore peter, because you did. you just didn’t talk to him at random anymore. he was in a couple of your classes, and would sometimes ask for notes. but other times, he’d just bump into you on campus. so yeah, you were ignoring him. with no intention of talking to him.

he felt so much pain over the past couple of days, thinking about he hurt other girls, thinking about how he hurt you. he cannot stop thinking about you, at this point he’s in love with you. he’s so guilt-ridden that even ned notices something is off with him.

“are you sure you’re okay? you just haven’t been yourself lately,” ned questioned just noticing that his friend seemed to always be disturbed.

“it’s nothing ned,” is what he’d usually respond with “i’m just stressed with my classes right now.”

ned shook his head understandingly. he knew that college for sure was hard on him and couldn’t even imagine how hard it was on peter. peter never told ned about everything, ned was three states away from peter. there was nothing ned could do to fix this, as peter realized he needed to fix everything himself.

his professors even noticed it. some of them even had to speak with him after class letting him know his grade was in great jeopardy. when they asked if everything okay, peter just explained that he had been off recently. he assured them that he’d be back on track soon, and get on top of his academics as well. after speaking with his physics professor he had headed towards your dorm. he never actually went to visit you at your dorm so he had no clue what room was yours. he’d remember swinging by your window, but never got an exact numbered door. when he walked into the main lobby, he asked some random girl if she knew who you were or where your dorm was. luckily for him, he actually bumped into your roomate, but your roomate refused to talk to him.

“i know who you are, and i think you should go,” she coldly spoke.

he pleaded with her and he promised he would make everything right with you if he could actually see you and get the chance to talk to you. after hearing his long ramble about his overdue apology, your roomate caved him and gave him your room number.

he felt anxiety rushing throughout his entire body as he looked through the hallways of numbered doors and finally spotted yours. he took a deep breath before knocking, reminding himself that he was going to be okay, this was going to be okay.

you opened the door and immediately slammed it in his face. behind the door, your eyes went wide and you bit your bottom lip as you thought about opening the door again. what could he have possibly wanted? what was he doing here? had he been stalking you? how the fuck did he find you room? your mind went back to the main question: what does he want and why is he here?

you turned around again facing your door and wiped your sweaty palms against your sweatpants. opening your door, you made a joke about how it was too early for a booty call. peter’s face remained straight seeming to just be unamused with the joke. you then asked what he had wanted. how this was all unlike him and how he truly he doesn’t chase but rather attract.

“y/n, just please hear me out. give me five minutes, two minutes even. i just need to talk to you,” he started.

you gulped, the big lump in your throat returning as you whispered a “come in” to him.

he sat on the edge of your bed as you stood in the middle of your room. your arms were crossed and you had a blank look on your face.

“i- i just wanted to say i’m sorry,” he stuttered, “i regret ever hurting you, y/n. i think back about how i ruined everything between us daily. usually i don’t let feelings get in the way of this but holy shit i cannot even deny them anymore. and that’s why i came here. i know i’ve given you so much stress lately and i truly apologize. i know i hurt you at night and i can’t even sleep sometimes knowing that i hurt you. i need to make things right. i’m not asking for anything major, i just want to be on good terms again with you,” he finished, averting his eyes away from yours.

you took his words in, thinking them over as you stared back at his features. you didn’t hate him, as a matter of fact you were head over heels in love with him. but you couldn’t do it. you could not be in a relationship right now, but you weren’t going to just dismiss the way he wanted to mend things between the two of you.

the two of you sat in silence for another minute as you collected your thoughts, him waiting patiently for you. you walked over to him and just hugged him. you already felt tears well up in your eyes but did not want them to spill. peter at this point was full on crying. this was the closure you both needed. you whispered in his ear how you don’t want a relationship right now, but he understood because he didn’t know if he was able to take on one by himself right now. as the two of you pulled apart, you wiped your eyes as you gave peter time to collect himself.

“i’m down to fix things. i love you a lot pete but we need to work on ourselves and our own dynamic before we even think about jumping into that whole relationship stage,” you said.

“and i’m totally okay with that. i can deal with that. i was just scared of losing you,” his eyes glossed over again as he said that. new tears were forming in his eyes.

you’d never thought you’d see the day where peter parker was actually showing some emotion. he seemed like the type to be emotionless after you had your experience with him.

it was going to take a while to heal, but you both had each other so there was no fear. peter was going to be more open and honest with his feelings. he was sorry, he was taking the accountability he should’ve taken a long time ago. he had you to thank for that.

i’m goin off (oh, my pretty love)

don’t try stopping me

i’m goin off (throw me in a line)

don’t try saving (you broke my heart)

no flares (you broke my heart)

no vest (you drove my love)

and no fear

waves are washin’ me out.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #tom holland imagine #peter parker angst

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megumis-lashes · 3 years

Text

Love, but make it Magic!

Werewolf! Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

*Contains*: mentions of blood/fighting, slight angst (if you squint), bullying, fighting, slight swearing, Enemies to lovers if you squint, school based on western standards, werewolf Hyunjin, witch/vampire reader

Nothing too bad overall. Mainly fluff. I sometimes use italics for emphasis. I use typical quotes for speech :)

Narrators POV

In today’s society, supernatural beings like vampires and werewolves are believed to be mythical creatures. Few people believe in their existence and have many false stereotypes surrounding these creatures’ existence. In reality they do exist. Supernaturals or whatever you like to call them, live a life hidden from society. They play the role of innocent humans in a world where they aren’t accepted. In certain areas, schools and housing are built to house strictly supernatural creatures. Despite their separation from the world, they still have many disputes between each other.

Name’s POV

My life has never been easy. From a young age I’ve been pressured to fit into a society that I was not designed for. I’m half witch, half vampire, a deadly combination in today’s world. Not only am I hated by humans but I’m also hated by other supernaturals due to some dumb disputes among species. I lived among humans for the the first portion of my life. I was constantly in fear for what might happen to me if I was discovered. I had to live and act exactly as a human, which was never an easy task. Thankfully, for college I was able to go somewhere I better fit in, an all supernatural college, NX University. My parents were opposed to me going due to their meek status against humans, but I needed a change in lifestyle. Thankfully I managed to get multiple scholarships to the school.

I had been living on campus for a few months. Everything was going smoothly. My stress and anxiety of blending in was long forgotten and I was able to express myself through my supernatural abilities. I took courses on witchcraft and alchemy, things I never would’ve had the opportunity to learn in human society. I shared a dorm with a fellow witch from my classes. Her name was Sunghee. She was what could only be described as text book beauty. She had glowing ginger hair that flowed over her shoulders and large green eyes. Her face was littered with freckles and she was rather slim. To go along with her innocent looks came her witchcraft. She was what humans would describe as a ‘good witch’. She practiced strictly healing and protection magic and had made a pact with herself to never engage in battle. She often spent her days collecting and researching herbs she discovered around campus.

After a long day of classes I was heading back to the dorm. I had what could be described as an infinite amount of homework and I wasn’t exactly excited to lose sleep working on it. As I approached the door I noticed something.

“Hmm? The door is locked? That’s strange. Sunghee usually leaves it open...” I mumbled to myself as I shuffled through my bag, searching for my spare key.

“Maybe she went to the shops for more herbs..”

As I unlocked the door and entered, I was greeted by emptiness. The place was sparkling clean, which was very unusual for Sunghee. She was more like the ‘messily organized’ type so seeing the place so clean was shocking. As I approached the small kitchen table, I noticed a crinkled note taped to the fridge. It read :

‘Hey name! Sorry for the sudden departure but I had some family business to attend to. I’ll probably be back by the end of this quarter. As an apology for leaving so fast I tidied up the place! Also, you don’t have to worry about caring for my plants and such! My friend Hyunjin will be staying here to take care of them! Hopefully you won’t mind!

- xoxo Sunghee ♡︎

“Only Sunghee would do something like this so suddenly and think nothing of it.” I sighed. I guess I had to get used to living with someone else for a while.

“I should really start my homework....I don’t want to be up all night.” I shook my head.

My head had been buzzing with witchcraft and algebra work for what seemed like hours. I was so focused on finishing my work before the clock struck midnight that when a knock on the door sounded through the dorm, I nearly fell out of my chair.

“Who in their right mind would arrive at this hour...” As much as I disliked the idea of talking, I still ran to open the door. As the old wooden door creaked open, the sight behind it almost made me fall over again. Standing at the door was a tall and lanky boy with longer blonde hair tied up in the back. He was beautiful and his perfection was accentuated by the small birthmark under his left check. I couldn’t put a finger on his name but I had definitely seen him before. He was deemed the school’s ‘pretty boy’ from what I could remember.

“Excuse me but what do you need? It’s quite late and I’m not exactly sure what you want from me?” I questioned as I leaned on the door frame in exhaustion.

“Oh hi. You must be name. I’m Sunghee’s ‘childhood friend’ you could say. She asked me stay here for a while to watch over her plants or whatever.” He shrugged as he pushed his hair back. Now that I looked at him closely I noticed he was carrying a large duffel bag packed to the brim.

“You? Stay here? There must be some sort of confusion. I thought a girl by the name of Hyunjin would be staying here?” I blinked in confusion.

“Oh she never explained fully then huh?” He chuckled. “My name’s Hwang Hyunjin. I’m not exactly a girl but I understand your confusion. You were probably thinking of Kim Hyunjin. She’s a girl in the shapeshifter division.” He suffled around awkwardly. “So are you gonna let me in?”

“Hoooold on there. I have no idea who you are! You expect me to just casually share a place with you for months? When I’m just meeting you for the first time now? Plus you’re a werewolf aren’t you? Bold of you to assume I could naturally just trust you!” I was beyond shocked at his audacity.

“Come ooonnn! I’m just tired ok! It wasn’t exactly my idea to stay here. Sunghee kinda sprang it on me this morning.” He sighed once again, rubbing his neck.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? If you’re trying to convince me to stay with some guy I just met than you’re doing a terrible job.” I chided.

“Look, we don’t even have to see each other or talk to each other. Ok? I’m just as unenthusiastic about this as you are but I know Sunghee would skin me alive if I didn’t care for her precious plants.”

I huffed. “I’m honestly too tired to continue with this conversation. Fine you can stay, but you better keep the place sparkling! Pull your weight in chores and maybe I won’t kick you out.” I didn’t plan on caving so easily but I was exhausted and needed sleep. I let the boy inside and then shut myself in my room for the night.

The next few weeks were....rough. Living with a teenage boy was hard enough but with him being a werewolf it was even worse. Despite trying to keep the place clean, everyday the place would be in shambles. He slept on the couch but would often shift to his wolf form while sleeping and ravage the place. Even with his sudden outbursts, Hyunjin did try his best to keep true to his deal. He rarely bothered me and the only time we really had a conversation was when he accidentally ate Sunghee’s herbs and needed information on which ones he should buy in replacement. One thing I did notice about Hyunjin was his habit to get home quite late. I was typically up into the late hours of the night doing homework so I always heard him come home. He would always be panting and out of breath, as if he had been chased back to the dorm. I did wonder what he was up to but I never confronted him about it, that is until one specific time.

It was a dreary Friday night in early October and I was finishing my physics homework for the week. Due to my growing hunger I decided to make some popcorn and maybe watch a movie later. As I was pouring the popcorn in a large bowl, I heard the front door slam open. Hyunjin must’ve been home. I didn’t greet him, as I didn’t typically do so but I could tell something was off by how he was breathing. He was panting much heavier than I had ever heard and seemed to be groaning in pain. I decided to ask what was wrong and finally discover what was happening. When I turned to question him, I was shocked by his appearance.

Standing in the doorway was Hyunjin. He was drenched it what appeared to be a mixture of blood, sweat and rain as it had been storming outside. What shocked me the most were the large scratches and cuts scattered throughout his body. The most noticeable of them were placed near his heart, from which blood seeped into his shirt. He also appeared to have some bruises forming on his face and his nose was bleeding. The last feature I noticed were the pitch black ears and tail that sprouted from his head and lower back. He was in partial wolf form.

“What the hell happened to you?!” I exclaimed. I wasn’t exactly expecting a bloody Hyunjin to walk through the door.

“Uhh....” he spun around, eyes wide in shock. He was like a deer caught in headlights. “I got into a small fight...” He mumbled, scratching his neck awkwardly. He wasn’t expecting me to be home.

“Bullshit! You wouldn’t look like walking road kill if it was just a small fight! Tell me what really happened!” I huffed. I wasn’t usually one to get mad easily but I had been suspicious of Hyunjin for a while and wanted answers.

“Fine...fine... I guess I owe you an explanation at least...” he stumbled forward out of shock and exhaustion. I quickly set the bowl down and went to help him walk to the couch. He was still badly injured.

“Fine but before you explain we better fix your injuries. You may be a werewolf but those wounds are deep. Without treatment they could get infected.” I quickly jogged into Sunghee’s room to fetch a first aid kit.

“Unlike Sunghee, I’m not a herbs and healing witch. I’ll have to patch you up the old fashion way.” I snickered. This would’ve been a lot easier with Sunghee.

“Fine, just get it over with.” Hyunjin sighed. I could still sense his distress from his previous experience.

I started with the cuts on his face. I washed them with a damp cloth followed by alcohol wipes. Hyunjin cringed in pain. I placed small bandages over the wounds and moved on to his chest. As embarrassing as it was, I was forced to lift up his shirt to access the scratches. Any other day the blonde would of teased me for being shy but he was currently in too much distress to do so. The wounds were deep but just shallow enough to not need stitches. I applied the same treatment as I did with his face but used a wrap of bandage instead.

“Ok Hwang, explain.” I crossed my arms as I huffed.

“Fine, fine.” He shuffled in his seat, cringing in pain as he felt his injuries stretch.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I got into a fight, but it was definitely more serious than usual. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now but I usually get home late and after a run in with some not so great people. They’re a group of vampires and shapeshifters that are a part of my gym class. I do excessively well in that class and I guess they were jealous of that so that’s why they first approached me. They wanted to ‘knock me down a peg’ and put me back in my place. It probably would’ve ended there but I’m so terrible at controlling my wolf form that I snarled at them. They chased me home after that. The past few weeks I’ve tried to avoid them, more for their safety than mine. I would sprint home each day in hopes of not starting any drama. Today was the one day I didn’t run home and those punks took advantage of it. They picked a fight with me and out of exhaustion I partially turned and swiped at them. They were pissed. My accidental turning led to them ‘beating me up’ except I was far stronger and managed to do more damage.”

“Wow.” Despite my suspicion I was still a bit shocked to hear the whole story. “I never would have pictured your lazy ass to be a fighter Hyunjin..” I chuckled. “That’s hilarious.” I subtly laughed into my hand. My exhaustion combined with the fact that Hyunjin ran away out of embarrassment made the situation seem hilarious to me.

“Don’t laugh! Hey! I try to keep the place clean! I do my best!” He chided, dramatically waving his hands around in exasperation. Now that I focused on him I realized he was still half turned.

“Hyunjin..” I giggled “You dumbass! Your ears are still out! Can you even tell?!” At my examination he quickly slammed his hands against his head, feeling that his ears were in fact still showing.

“Dammit! I swear these things have a mind of their own! If it weren’t for these dumb ears, I could’ve avoided all that drama!” He groaned as he tried to push his ears back into his head. I giggled and rolled my eyes. “You really do suck at controlling your wolf! As much as it pains me maybe I could help you out?” I stifled my laughter as I wanted Hyunjin to take me seriously. “Oh really? And how do you plan to do that?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy. “I’m part witch! don’t you remember? I could make you something that can help you control your wolf better! For the time being I can cast a spell on you to alter your appearance! I’d have to be with you during school though...” I mumbled. Despite being ‘roommates’ I didn’t consider us to be close friends

“You’d really do that for me? Ya know you’re a lot cooler than you let on.” He chuckled.

“Hey!”

“Could you maybe tutor me while your at it?”

“Don’t push your luck, pretty boy!”

Over the next few months, Hyunjin and I spent a lot more time together. Initially it came as a shock to the rest of the school. He was a werewolf and I was part vampire, both species that had strongly disliked each other for years. Along with this, the blonde was far more popular than I was. I was more the ‘nerdy witch’ type, who’s only care was grades. Despite all our differences, we got along extremely well. Someone who had never met use before would’ve thought we had been friends for years or even lovers. Due to our tight knit relationship, it was a common task to deny relationship rumors. As promised I did start working on a formula that would help Hyunjin with his transformations. For the time being, I simply cast an illusion spell on him each morning and would check with him throughout the day to assure it was still in effect. Throughout my growing relationship with the boy, I began to feel confused. I felt strong emotions for him, emotions I had never felt before and didn’t understand. I finally figured them out when on the phone with Sunghee. As I described to her my new found friendship with Hyunjin and how much I wanted to hang out with him, Sunghee pieced together that I must’ve liked him , or in her words had a ‘crush’. I immediately dismissed the idea, but over the following week I noticed just how much I liked his company. There was no other way to explain it. Thankfully it didn’t appear to hinder our friendship at the time so I simply pushed the thoughts to the back back of my head.

Currently it was approaching the end of October meaning both finals for that semester and Halloween were in the upcoming week. Hyunjin was stressed to say the least. Despite all the tutoring I gave him, he was still adamant on needing my help to prepare. I decided to make a deal with him. For my witchcraft class I had a final project which required a non-witch partner. If he agreed to do the project with me I could tutor him again for free.

“Wait so what is this project again?” Hyunjin questioned as he took a bite out of pumpkin pie. We were sitting in the kitchen discussing our study plans for that week.

“Well it’s for my witchcraft class, it’s my final project. I need a non-witch partner and I thought you’d be perfect for for it!” I chided, throwing my arm over his shoulder.

“The premise of the project is to develop the three main elements of witchcraft through a secret mission into human territory-“

“What?” His eyes widened in shock as he choked on the pie he was practically inhaling. I patted his back to help with his coughs. He sighed and wiped his mouth. “What do you mean human territory?! It suuuuper dangerous over there! How could they assign that as a school project?!” He was surprised to say the least.

“Look Hyunjin I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like I didn’t live half of my life surrounded by humans. Just because you’re some rich prince boy who has never seen a human in their life doesn’t give you the excuse to back out on me now.” I sighed as I rubbed my temples.

“The majority of humans are pretty chill. They won’t notice anything if we keep a low profile. All we need to do is collect an item for each element of witchcraft, that’s three in total. We’ll be in and out of there in no time!”

“Ughh... As much as I hate the idea of us walking directly into danger, I can’t afford to fail this test. Plus with all the things you’ve done for me, I think I owe you one.” He chuckled.

“Then that’s settled! Well leave tomorrow!” I clapped my hands together. “Better start packing Hwang!” I shouted as I dashed to my room.

That night I packed the necessities I would need for the small trip. I packed a map, money, a change of clothes, water, snacks, and some tools for spell-craft. Hyunjin and I were to be disguised as travelers who were stopping at the nearest town for some materials. The disguise had to be convincing so I told Hyunjin to wear old, battered clothes and bring nothing too flashy. The only downside to this town was their utter fear of supernatural beings. Many humans could care less but for some this fear had evolved into hatred. If any supernaturals were discovered in or near the town, they would most likely be executed on the spot. In order to keep our cover from being blown, I could not risk the use of the spell I typically used on Hyunjin. He questioned me about it before leaving.

“Wait! What about the spell? You know I still suck at control right?” He questioned, lugging his tan backpack from his bedroom.

“I can’t risk anyone noticing. You’ll have to survive without it for one day. Just wear a hoodie or something to cover your ears if they happen to appear.” He nodded, nervous as ever. “Don’t worry it’ll be fine!” I smiled. “Let’s get going.

The beginning of the project went perfectly. We were able to slip into the town with few people noticing our presence. For the grade, I needed to collect three objects to represent the three elements of witchcraft : defense, offense and recovery. The recovery object was the easiest so we decided to gather that item first. We stopped at a small tea and herb shop, which they surprisingly had, and I bought multiple bags of herbal tea along with healing incense. We did get some strange looks in the store but nothing crazy, they probably weren’t used to teenagers visiting a dusty shop like that. Next was defense. It seemed easy enough. Hyunjin suggested we buy a plank of strongly crafted wood and have it shaped into a shield. He went and gathered that part of the project while I purchased solvents from a scientist that I could use in defense spells. The final element was definitely the most difficult. Offense or in short, something that could kill. Sure we could’ve found a sharp stick or snatched a spear from some old museum but those wouldn’t get me a good grade. I needed something special.

“Hey Look! A weaponry shop! That’s exactly what we’re looking for I chided, pulling him behind me by his sweatshirt sleeve. “We can probably get a gun or something here...” I mumbled. As we entered the small shop we were greeted by an old man. He didn’t say anything directed towards us but a simple ‘Welcome. Shout if you need help’.

“Let’s go quick Hyunjin. I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” I whispered to the boy as I signaled him to follow me into the store.

“Okay, okay. What do you want me to look for?” He whispered back.

“Find a dagger or knife of sorts, I’ll find a small handgun. Don’t buy anything too gaudy though, we don’t wanna draw attention on the way out.” I walked to the back of the store that was labeled as the gun section. I picked out two small handguns along with a couple packs of ammunition, keeping in mind how they would fit in my pack. I quickly met Hyunjin at the front counter. He had picked out a dark green Swiss Army knife along with what appeared to be a hunters knife. If the store owner didn’t walk out at that moment, we probably would’ve slipped out without paying.

“Hello! Is this all you want today?” He questioned. We both nodded placing the weapons on the counter. He wrapped the items lightly then packed them into a small bag. He handed the bag to Hyunjin as I shuffled through my bag for cash.

“Why you both look pretty young! You wouldn’t mind showing me your weapons license by any chance right?”

Shit. I didn’t think of that. I shuffled through my bag in despair.

“Umm you see sir I think I must’ve lost it while traveling....” I rubbed my neck, hoping he would buy my childish lie.

“I’m sorry but I need to see it in order for you to buy these weapons miss.” He smiled, an eerie smile at that.

“I’m so sorry sir but I can’t find it....” I awkwardly smiled back.

“Well then missy, you’ll have to give those back!” He reached and grabbed at the bag which Hyunjin had handed to me. Out of instinct I pulled it back towards me, effectively loosing my balance and stumbling back into the blonde. It didn’t take long for us to trip over each other and fall to the floor.

“You...you monsters! I knew something was up with you!” The man at the front screeched, flailing his arms about wildly. I furrowed my brows in confusion. It made sense when I finally caught sight of the boy beside me. The fall had effectively knocked the hood of his head and thanks to our luck, his ears were out on full display. We were screwed.

“Dammit Hyunjin!” I yelled throwing myself up from the floor and grabbing at him to get up. “Time to run!” Finally grasping the situation, the blonde sprang up from the floor and dashed out the door beside me. As we sprinted through the city, we heard what sounded like gunshots. I assumed they were signal flares, something to notify the people that supernaturals were there. It didn’t take long before a group of crazed humans were chasing after us with spears and guns. Just as the gunshots began to sound, I managed to put up a protective barrier around us.

“Hyunjin we gotta get out of here as fast as we can! We can’t risk dying or letting them know the school’s location!” I huffed. Running was hard. “I can only keep this barrier up for so long! Do you have any ideas?” I desperately shouted as we made a mad dash away from the town. His eyes seemed to sparkle in excitement at me asking for his help. He had an idea.

“You might not like this idea but I think it could work!” He shouted back.

“What is it?”

“I’m gonna need you to trust me fully! On the count of three, I’ll transform into full wolf form and run out of here with you on my back! There’s no way they could catch up to us!” He panted, his golden eyes shimmering in the sunlight.

“You’re really crazy sometimes Hwang, but this time I’m willing to trust you! Just don’t let us get killed ok?!”

“Alright it’ll take me a minute to transform fully! If you can hold up this barrier for that long we should be fine!”

“Alright!” We stopped suddenly. I closed my eyes in concentration as I chanted the spell for the protective barrier. As I did so, Hyunjin transformed into a beautiful, sleek black wolf.

‘Hop on!’ I heard him speak to me through subconscious thoughts. It didn’t take another word from him for me to swing my legs over his back and latch onto his fur. “Go Hyunjin!” I shouted, causing the wolf to sprint forwards, almost three times as fast as the pace we were previously at.

We ran for what seemed like years. The sounds of gunshots and angry shouts seemed to fade into the distance long ago. We had lost them. Upon passing the school gates, we both collapsed on a grassy area, Hyunjin returning to his human form. I rolled onto the ground in exhaustion. I wasn’t exactly the ‘athletic type’ and that amount of exercise was painful. I chuckled as I saw Hyunjin collapse beside me.

“What are you laughing at?!” He jeered.

“Heh, at least we didn’t die! Now you won’t fail your finals since you are guaranteed my help in studying! Aren’t you happy about that?” I chuckled again.

“Ignoring the fact that we almost died, that was the most fun I’ve had in years! Who would’ve though you to be my best friend-“ I was cut off by the sensation of warm lips against mine. Hyunjin was kissing me. I could feel my face heat up but I kissed back. His feelings were clearly reciprocated. Upon breaking the kiss, I faced away for, him and covered my face in embarrassment.

“Huh? Is that the great and fabulous name being shy at a simple kiss? You’re so weak!” He laughed as he rubbed his face against my neck, similar to how an animal would treat its mate. I chuckled. Two could play at that game. I faced him again.

“Is the great, dumb wolf Hyunjin in love with me?” I smirked as I saw the slight blush bubble up on his cheeks.

“Well maybe I am!” He chided. I smiled

“Well maybe I love you too.”

AN: This was from Halloween buuuttt imma post it now cuz y not 😗. Also I watched the Skz concert this weekend and it was AMAZING. I am currently still in post concert depression buttt maybe I’ll have some motivation to write again soon! Peace out ✌🏼

#skz #skz fanfic #skz fluff #straykids x reader #straykids #kpop writing #kpop fanfic #kpop #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x you #kpop ff #fan fiction #werewolf

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homebody-nobody · 3 years

Note

54 and 62 Jiara

hello I got ~carried away~ who is shocked not me

Rating: T (for language) Word Count: 1653 (oops)

54) Why is there a pregnancy test in the trash? 62) I warned you. He warned you. Your fucking mom warned you.

Dating Daniel Ryder was a bad idea. Kiara knew that. But he was tall, blond, blue-eyed, and deeply emotionally unavailable, and Kie is, unfortunately, the kind of girl with a type. Pope had already confronted her about the similarities between Danny and a certain friend of theirs, so when she misses her period, she knows she can’t call the boys.

After the summer of gold, Sarah became somewhat of a permanent fixture in their little crew, and, reluctantly, old grudges were forgiven, and a new, better friendship formed. Kiara wasn’t sure how to approach that relationship, at first. Being friends with girls was so much different than what she had grown up with, gotten so used to over the years. It’s a different kind of bond. All the same, she doesn’t want to go to Walgreens by herself.

While they wait for the results, sitting on Kiara’s bathroom floor, Sarah knocks her foot against Kiara’s.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she says, and Kiara just shrugs, too disconnected from reality to really get any thought past the swirling storm of panic that predominates her thoughts.

Another minute passes, and the timer rings on Sarah’s phone. Kiara lunges toward the counter.

The test is negative.

Both girls let out a collective sigh of relief.

“Oh thank fuck,” Kiara lets out, dropping back to the floor, her back sliding down the wall. Sarah leans over and drops her forehead against her friend’s knee, laughing, because she doesn’t really know what else to do. She wouldn’t have known what to say, if something else had happened. “I’m not telling Danny.”

Sarah lifts her head, her chin resting on Kiara’s knee instead. “Why not?” she asks.

Kiara shrugs again. “He’ll freak and run.” She shakes her head. “I should have listened to JJ.” He hadn’t liked Danny from the jump.

Sarah scrunches up her nose and wraps her arms around Kie’s leg. “I mean, he warned you,” she admits, and then; “I also warned you. I mean hell, your fucking mom warned you.” She laughs a little bit, and Kiara picks up the leg she’s leaning on and nudges her in the stomach with her foot.

“You’re not helping,” she points out.

Sarah’s head falls to the side, watching her friend’s face, studying the gears turning behind deep, intelligent brown eyes.

“Are you gonna tell JJ?” she asks.

Kiara lands squarely back in reality with a jerk. “Why the fuck would I do that?” she asks, and Sarah almost laughs. She knows how JJ feels about Kiara. Everyone does, except for Kiara.

Sarah shrugs, delighting just the smallest bit in the way the machine in Kie’s head seems to be spitting smoke trying to understand what Sarah has just said. There’s no more argument, though, because the door to Kiara’s room bursts open, announcing the arrival of John B and JJ, who, of course, neglected to text about coming over to pick the both of them up. AFter everything, Kie’s parents have been infinitely kinder to all of the boys, and the Carrera house has started to feel like communal territory, equitable to the Heywards but not quite on par with the Chateau. Although, nowhere will ever feel like home to any of them quite like the Chateau does.

Sarah scrambles up from the floor, and goes back into Kie’s room to stall. Kiara stands and sweeps the pregnancy test in the trash, washing her hands before following Sarah into the bedroom.

“What were you both doing in the bathroom?” John B asks, plastered to Sarah’s back, his arms around her shoulders. Kiara looks, wild-eyed, to her friend, and Sarah makes up a lie about makeup. John B looks satisfied, but JJ doesn’t.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Kie asks, “I thought it was common practice to call before you start bursting into people’s houses.”

JJ pokes her in the side with a good-natured grin, and masks his confusion poorly when she swats at his hand. “There was no bursting,” he protests, “your mom let us in.” She still doesn’t smile or laugh, and he relents, eyeing her all the same. She’s still upset and a little shaken, and Kiara has never been very good at covering up her feelings. He wants to ask her wha’ts up, but he knows that won’t yield anything, not with John B and Sarah there, too. Kiara already isn’t good at vulnerability, much less in group settings. It takes one-on-one time and usually a good deal of alcohol before she lets anything remotely private slip.

John B saves the day. “We came to get you guys,” he explains, “There’s a killer swell at Rixon’s right now.”

Kiara lights up, delighted by the idea of a long afternoon of surfing to get her mind off the close call and the conversation she’s goind to have to have with Danny, and ducks into her walk-in closet to change. Dimly, she hears JJ say something about needing the bathroom through the door, and her heart climbs up into her throat as she ties the halter of her bikini behind her neck, dizzy and praying to whatever might be up there that he doesn’t look in the trash.

They aren’t listening.

They both come back into the room at the same time, JJ drying his hands on his t-shirt (heathen), and Kiara pulling on a loose button-up to serve as a cover-up. JJ, bless him, never does know how or when to keep his mouth shut.

“Why is there a pregnancy test in the trash?” he asks.

Kiara freezes, and Sarah takes a deep, sharp inhale. Still holding her, John B goes ghost-white, his entire body going stiff. JJ realizes his mistake almost immediately.

“Um --” he says, eyes darting between the two girls, and, resigned, Kiara takes the fall, to save the healthy relationship from an entirely unnecessary fight.

“It’s mine,” she says, and John B relaxes, just slightly. JJ doesn’t. Not until she says; “false alarm.”

The silence hangs awkward and heavy until Sarah says something about warming up the van (It’s May), and drags John B out of the room. JJ doesn’t say anything, and Kiara doesn’t know why she’s waiting for him to. He stares at the floor, and she twists the hem of her shirt around her index finger.

When he does speak, she’s surprised at his question. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asks.

“It’s no big deal,” she reassures him, not sure she believes it, herself. “It was negative, anyway.”

“You thought you were pregnant, Kie,” he says, his voice breaking on the word. She flinches. “That’s a pretty big fucking deal.”

“But I’m not,” she insists, stubbornly determined not to understand why he’s so caught up in this.

“Did you tell Danny?” he asks, and she wants nothing more than to run far, far away from this conversation. She didn’t expect JJ to care this much, and possible reasons tumblr and crash together in her exhausted, anxiety-hangover of a mind. She shakes her head, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, and his mouth turns into a thin, flat line, his hand curling into a fist and tapping lightly against the bedpost. “Why not?” he asks.

“Why do you care so much?” she shoots back, and he winces, the words like a blow. She knows why.

“I don’t know,” he says. “If it was me --”

“But it’s not you,” she interrupts, shocked to feel tears forming, hard and crystalline, in the bottom of her throat. “So it doesn’t matter.”

“And whose fault is that?” he responds immediately. The words echo like a whip cracked through the room, and finally, their eyes meet, furious and burning, full of misunderstanding and jealousy and illusions of betrayed trust. “I warned you,” he goes on, the dam finally broken, “I told you he was bad news and you dated him anyway.”

“You’re acting like you were even an option!” she snaps, and there’s the truth of it. She dated Danny because he was almost JJ, because the one thing she really wanted, the one person she really wanted -- she thought he was out of reach. Her voice is ragged and raw when honesty finally climbs and claws its way out of her throat. “Of course, I wanted you,” she cries. “But I couldn’t have you, so don’t go trying to tell me how to live my life.”

When she looks up again, his face is so open and honest it almost hurts. Her chest heaves from the argument and the fear and all the other stress she’s carried around all day. She can’t handle this, not now, and her entire body screams at her to just run, but she can’t, not when JJ is looking at her like that.

“Kie…” he sighs, and without words, the truth paints itself around the both of them, colors finally exploding across the blank, undefined space between them. He crosses the room in three quick steps, and he’s kissing her, holding her face, her hands curled on his chest. It’s an explosion of sorts, an ending and a beginning all at once.

JJ speaks softly when he pulls away. “You could’ve had me,” he says, his thumb brushing away a tear that rolls down her cheek. “You can still have me.” She lifts a fist and lets it thump gently against his chest, letting out a watery laugh.

“You never said --” she starts, but he smiles, and kisses her again.

“I didn’t think I had to,” he explains, and she bumps her forehead against his.

“You’re an idiot,” she says, and he laughs.

“Your idiot,” he says. And then, softer; “if you want me.”

She kisses him once more, and there’s still John B and Sarah downstairs, still Danny to deal with, still a thousand other things that might get in their way, but this moment -- this moment is all theirs.

“Of course I want you.”

#jiara #jiara fic #obx #obx fic #my writing #jj maybank #kiara carrera

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buckthegrump · 4 years

Text

IBTHNTTTY - 7

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Y/n hates Bucky Barnes. Absolutely loathes him what makes it worse is that she has to share her office with him. Now with a promotion on the horizon she has to find a way to work with him and not against him.

Word Count: 1237

Warnings: Angst (kind of), fluff, wizard swears, a mild anxiety attack

A/n: y’all i got it and let’s just the next 3/4 parts are wild

The knowledge that the week was going to be a stressful one hit her bright and early Monday morning when she first walked in.

Natasha had called Y/n’s office phone with gossip. Typically Y/n was a sucker for gossip, but this particular piece gave Y/n anxiety.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard this or what’s happening, but,” Natasha said in place of a greeting, “I heard a rumor. And I want you to remember that this is just a rumor and could be false. But I heard that they’re going to post a job posting for a new proofreader.”

About three seconds after that reveal, Y/n hastily hung up the phone. If they were looking for a new proofreader, that meant one of two things. Number one, they were going to expand, and Y/n’s job was safe. Or, number two (the one that was the cause of the anxiety) there was going to be an opening for either her or Bucky’s jobs.

Then on Tuesday, she got an email signed by both Coulson and Maria saying they wanted a meeting on Friday. So all week she was stressed. The only part of the week that wasn’t bad was the date. Brock was surprisingly sweet for a guy that looked like he would’ve 100% bullied her in high school.

Friday came at an alarming rate. And as it turned out, Bucky had the same meeting with Y/n. This should’ve alleviated her nerves, but it only added to them.

“You need to breathe, they’re not going to fire you,” Bucky told her as they sat outside the conference room.

“I am breathing,” she lied. Her breathing was erratic, and she sounded a little like a dying car. “And you don’t know that, what if I did something so horrible that they’re just gonna boot me.”

“Have you done anything recently that would warrant termination?” Bucky asked calmly.

She glared at him. “If I knew I wouldn’t be freaking out, would I?”

“Y/n, Bucky,” Coulson called from the doorway. “Come on in.”

Y/n pulled herself together in record time and walked through the door. She and Bucky sat across from their bosses. Y/n could see Bucky flexing his left hand as if he were in pain, but this wasn’t the place to ask about it.

“Y/n, you can stop freaking out,” Maria told her, “you’re not losing your job.”

She could’ve let out a sob right then and there, she settled for sigh instead.

“We have a project for the two of you -” Coulson continued. The way that those two were in sync was a little creepy at times.

“We want you two to work together and do a mock-up for this manuscript,” Maria spoke. While Coulson put two manila envelopes on the table.

“You will have to work together, and should we like the finished product -”

“The both of you will be promoted to editors,” after Maria spoke those words, Y/n was only half paying attention through the rest of the meeting.

Editor, that’s only what she’s been wanting for forever. And now she had to work with Bucky. Again. It’s almost like last weekend was a test for this, another test. How many tests were these two going to put her through?

Quit complaining, Y/n. You’re gonna be an editor.

“You have until December 20th to complete this task, and you are welcome to use whatever resources you need from the company,” Maria said.

* * *

After the meeting, they walked back to their office.

“So,” Bucky said once the door was closed behind them, “I think we should take this weekend to read the book and brainstorm our own ideas and then figure out which ones we like best on Monday.”

Y/n nodded. “Try not to only come up with dumb ideas.”

It was meant to come off as a joke, but she was still coming down from her anxiety high. So it was much harsher than she meant it to be. Or maybe it was the fact that they both had a job riding on this that forced them back into old habits.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you when you’re the one who suggested a title for a book that was already being used by another author with us,” Bucky said.

“That was years ago, and it was the middle of the night!” Y/n yelled.

“Doesn’t matter. It was still a dumb idea!”

“Oh, and how is that any worse than your idea to send a prospective author things that she was allergic to. Every gift you suggested could’ve killed her or made her sick,” she sneered.

“Oh forgive me, for not realizing that she was allergic to everything under the sun and then some,” Bucky waved his arms dramatically.

Y/n recognized that it was a dumb fight. But falling into a familiar feeling of arguing with Bucky was welcome after the week she’d had.

“I am not missing out on this promotion because you can’t pull your head out of your ass for three minutes,” Y/n said.

“I can’t pull my head out of my ass? How would you know where my head is when you’re is stuck so far up your ass you could eat your own stomach?”

“Oh ho, he’s got jokes! Too bad your editorial ideas aren’t as original as them!”

They were standing toe to toe, chests heaving, unwilling to break eye contact with one another. If this had been a normal day, that would’ve been the moment when Peter politely knocked on the door to ask one of them a question. And Y/n kept waiting for that to happen before she remembered that Peter had the day off.

Meaning one of them was going to have to break first. And it wasn’t going to be her. As the minutes passed, she lost some of the fire in her chest, and her body relaxed.

“Awe, sunflower, are you getting lost in my eyes?” Bucky had a smug grin on his face, and Y/n wanted nothing more than to smack it off. “I wonder how long you’ve had this burning desire for me.”

“In your dreams, Barnes.”

“But then you wouldn’t get the full Bucky Barnes experience,” his grin widened.

“Careful, you’re toeing a very dangerous HR line.”

The good ol’ HR threat. A threat that they had both used countless times after an argument had possibly gotten out of hand. Neither of them had actually written a complaint, though. It hadn’t been used in a while, though, once again because Peter usually interrupted before it’d gotten that far.

Y/n hoped that they could convince him to stay, or at least she could. She would have to look into having him as her assistant when she became an editor. Hopefully, Bucky wouldn’t also ask him, but she wouldn’t let Bucky win that fight. And if they couldn’t get the kid to stay, she wasn’t sure how they would replace him.

Just as Y/n opened her mouth to say something else, a knock came at the door.

“Hey, Y/n? Are we still going for drinks?” Natasha’s voice was muffled by the door.

“Yeah,” Y/n called back, still not looking away from Bucky. “Just let me grab my coat.”

There was a brief pause before Y/n turned away and grabbed her things.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes au

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autistic-shaiapouf · 3 years

Text

Very soon headed to baby's first apartment and cutting my family off as well and am just. having a lot of thoughts about identity today

Tw: vent? and mentions of implied abuse

I'm holding onto one specific thing and it does feel personal, so I guess that's why it's at the forefront of my mind but like. So I'm making those vo.caloid playlists, and I'm stacking in the miku music, and it feels like I'm having a 2nd vo.caloid phase, and it's great! The first time I really had a whole vo.caloid phase was when I was maybe. 13 or 14 or so, and I'm not gonna lie, it was a very difficult time for me, definitely when I was beginning to come to terms with how my family was treating me. This music was here during everything that happened, and it's still here in the aftermath, still unchanged. It's something I've always loved, but I know my family would never touch it, they didn't like it, my father told me, when I was 13ish, he asked "why can't you like anything normal". It's so surreal, to see it all still here and especially to have become mainstream, something I was absolutely bullied and mocked for becoming mainstream. 13 year old me would've cried in joy. I think it absolutely is a part of who I am.

I don't think I was ever really allowed to express or have much of an identity. I didn't know I had adhd until I was 17 and found out on my own, the first words out of my mouth were "oh my god, I'm not stupid", and my family would never have considered any neurodivergence, all kids are hyperactive, this is just a fake condition so bad parents parents narc up their kids! Not that there's anything more to the condition, not that it plagued me all my life and nearly ended it when I couldn't figure out what was wrong while no one bothered to help me. I stayed closeted as a trans person for 7 years bc I knew what the repercussions would be if I came out, and when I finally did that 2ish months ago, it played out exactly as I expected it to.

The most work I'd ever gotten done with my health was when I sat down and started scheduling my own appointments, with no vehicle or license and calling the insurance to see what we even had bc no one knew. My headaches went untreated for years, no one ever turned the sound of the tv down when I had my first migraine, I got c.ovid and was told I didn't, it was a false positive, had symptoms for 10 weeks and was told it was just the flu, but got vaccinated and "you already had covid, you don't need the vaccine". The anxiety and stress played and continue to play hell with my health, but those always pass, those always get better.

I just never had a place to really openly talk about myself and how I felt and who I actually am and now that I have a chance and time to finally pull it all together I just. feel overwhelmed? I alnost feel like I simultaneously do and don't know who I am. Yes the trauma stunted me psychologically and yes I've been in therapy for a few years because of this. I don't feel prepared for picking up a job and just making things work. I have the money to be able to just pay some rent for some time, but the idea of walking out of all these years and then just stepping directly into actual adulthood like nothing happened makes me. All I've ever done is mask everything and bow my head in obedience and now I feel like I'm back to doing what I did to protect myself bc being openly trans or clearly nd isn't something that's accepted everywhere. I feel like I just wanna make something of myself after all this but I just don't know what to do. I'm only 22, I have so much time and a lot of people say that they'd never wanna be in their 20s again but.

I feel like I've been left with everything and nothing. I know what I'm doing but I don't. I was never my family's priority, I was the trophy kid who got praised for achievement and any deviation from that was punished, anything abnormal like my mental health and the like went under the rug. I'm tired and jittery from nerves, wherever I end up I just wanna be happy, that's where the bar is. I also want my stuff back since I had to leave in a rush and couldn't grab everything. I'll be called a liar, selfish, every name in the book when I do go back to get my things, when I do cut my family off and let them know why I left and what I felt, and I know it isn't true but. I feel like I'm sifting through rubble and trying to piece together what's even left. I was pushed to and beyond my limits and I shattered in the process and had to rebuild myself from the ground up, and I suppose with all the upheaval that it's still a work in progress. The stress and anxiety was all manageable until it started having physical effects on me and now it's starting to click as to how bad it was and for how long I kept it up, and now that it's no longer serving a purpose, it comes and goes in waves.

I feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I never even had to begin with. I was whatever my family wanted me to be, and now that I've gotten up and left, I feel like I'm still testing waters. I feel like I don't know how to put myself and my feelings first, since that was never an option before, even while getting to my current location, of the people who'd driven me asked how I felt about making the trip and I said that if he was okay with it then it would be fine and he immediately spun it back on me, I didn't answer, I didn't say how I felt about it, even the family I'm with now noting that I don't seem very assertive, I just. have so much work to do but feel like I don't have the time to be able to do it all before I have to pretend I'm put together enough. I don't know. I feel like I do. I want to be a cheerful person, cynicism doesn't mean maturity and all that, but there's still the terror of the joy meaning that I'm ignoring something important or that I should be focusing on something that needs work, though i suppose not feeling like I can be happy is just another mark of trauma. I'm just upset and angry and every second chance I gave my family was another knife they stuck in my back, I only have like 1/3 of my belongings that I want, my family only ever cared about control to the point of paranoia, the latter of which was also handed to me. I just.

I just want this to be over

#sitting there about to lose it like boy sure hope no one sees me tearing up while playing fucking *solitaire* on my laptop #i have a lot i need to unpack and im gonna have to switch to a new therapist soon so.#gotta prep a damn powerpoint of my experiences and hand it to em i suppose lmao #i try to be an upbeat person; nay; i *want* to be that way; there is just. a lot going on right now h a h a #i am not proofreading a single thing i put down #if you read the whole thing then i am signing our marriage certificates right now as we speak #hoatm rants

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tamakiamajikistentacles · 4 years

Text

I’ll Be There For You {Katsuki Bakugo}

A/N: This story has potential triggers which I have in the tags as “tw __” and discusses heavier subjects (miscarriage, abortion) which is why I’m forgoing my usual like/reblog note. Certain aspects were taken from true events.

"This is not something I would have expected from you," Aizawa commented evenly. "Or Bakugo, for that matter."

Her head hung in avoidance of the sharp gaze of her teacher. He wasn't harsh, but his words veiled what was surely his true opinion of the situation. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing disappointment in his eyes.

"I know, sir," she said quietly, her focus on keeping her voice steady. "But as unexpected as it is, I... I’ll face whatever the result may be. "

Aizawa regarded the student in front of him, wondering how she truly felt about what was happening. She was intelligent enough to know the responsible answer but he wanted to know what she was thinking, his interest falling more on her stance towards the other student involved.

"I approve of your request to leave school grounds under the condition that you are accompanied by a UA staff member."

She bowed at the waist. "Thank you, Mr. Aizawa."

"What staff member do you feel comfortable going with you?" he asked tiredly. This wasn't something he expected to deal with today. "For a potentially distressing situation, we may suggest Hound Dog for his guidance services however I don't believe that’s the best choice in this case. If you would like Midnight or Recovery Girl, I can make the arrangements."

"If Recovery Girl is able to, I would appreciate her company."

Nodding, Aizawa watched her for an additional moment before curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "May I ask why you chose to make this request alone? Surely Bakugo would want to be present for—”

"Sensei," she breathed out, interrupting him, "I want so desperately for Katsuki to be with me for this, but... I believe that there won't be anything for him to be present for. I’ve never heard it before."

He cocked his head to the side. "You've used your quirk on Bakugo?"

"I have," she admitted. "I've heard five years into his future about our relationship but, well, I’ve never heard this. I've heard of a small apartment with blue-grey sheets on a queen size bed and an argument over a rice cooker. I've... I've heard so much. But not this."

"What you must understand is that life can and will deal you unexpected blows," Aizawa told her. "There will be gains and losses. Life and death can be dealt without our permission, and the future can always change. If there’s nothing to report, so be it. But if there is, make the most of it. Sometimes that's all you can do."

His words applied to her situation, but his eyes didn't meet hers; they focused out the window to her left where the setting sun had begun to paint fluffy clouds in brilliant orange and pink.

Three days later, her off-campus trip long over, she laid on her bed in the dorms with Mr. Aizawa’s parting words from their meeting swirling through her thoughts just as they had been since they were spoken. She wondered where his mind went as he gazed at the clouds, wondered what his life’s unexpected twists and turns were for him to speak so sagely.

A chirp from her phone drew her from her thoughts and she rolled to her side to check the incoming message of, “coming back around 6. Tempura for dinner after I shower?”

“sure. not feeling super social so can we eat in my room?” she replied.

“yeah, you good?”

She bit her lip, heart fluttering at Katsuki’s concern but stomach flipping at how to answer. Deciding on the simplest version of the truth, she sent back, “been a long week and I miss you”

“few more hours and you get me for the weekend”

Warmth bloomed in her chest at the thought of having him back by her side for two whole days, craving the closeness that would hopefully ease her mind once he was there. Still, nerves twisted with anxiety at the talk they needed to have and she could only pray that she could keep her composure as she said what needed to be said.

It was difficult waiting when the hours ticked by so slowly. Distracting herself with schoolwork at least allowed her to finish her assignments to ensure her weekend was completely free, but with more time to kill she resorted to reading and rereading the pamphlets she had been given earlier in the week, ones she’d been too overwhelmed to try looking through until then. Part of her mind was eased as she read and her decision was seeming less intimidating the more information she consumed.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity later, she had a text saying that her boyfriend was back and starting their dinner, he’d be up within half an hour or so. Butterflies filled her as she texted back an affirmative and she took a deep breath. The conversation they were going to have wouldn’t be easy by any means but she was ready. She had to be.

Repeating in her head what she wanted to say she waited for the knock on her door, and when it came she laid her palms flat on her small kotatsu in an attempt to ground herself as it opened to her boyfriend with two dishes in hand.

“You better never question my feelings for you,” he said with a grimace. “I just had to fight off both Uraraka and Kirishima from stealing your damn food.”

“Who said chivalry is dead?”

He snorted, setting the food down on the wooden surface of the kotatsu and sliding hers in front of her as he sat down to eat. Between mouthfuls he recounted his patrol with a sidekick of Endeavor’s through downtown and how they had taken down a few low-level criminals with shitty quirks, watching as she nodded and pushed her food around with her chopsticks. She’d eaten half but slowly, absentmindedly; that wasn’t normal by any means.

“Something’s weird with you,” he stated, crimson eyes studying her intently. “You get a shitty night’s sleep?”

“I’m not sleeping that great but that’s just, you know, stress. Are you too tired to talk for a while?”

Inwardly she cringed at her lack of tact when he narrowed his eyes at the abrupt subject change. “The discussion better be about what’s wrong with you.”

“Uhm, it… it is. I went to a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday because I’ve been feeling sort of… off. I was examined and—and I found out that… that I’m pregnant, Katsuki.”

His eyes widened before dropping into a squint as his brows furrowed, his lips parting slightly. He stayed quiet, seemingly absorbing the information. The lack of an actual response might have been scarier than any other one she had conjured in her mind from the anxiety about this moment. That anxiety was back tenfold and getting more stifling by the silent second.

“I’m sorry I waited to tell you but I wanted you to have time to think about everything without having to go on patrol with this fresh in your mind. I know you need to keep your focus but I want you to know that the appointment I have scheduled this coming Wed—"

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or ask me to go with you?”

“I didn’t think this would be the outcome,” she admitted shakily, every rehearsed word she had leaving her mind completely. “I’ve never heard it any time I’ve listen to your future; where our relationship is concerned it’s always just been us for as far as I can hear. Honestly… I just… I expected a false alarm.”

“But it wasn’t,” he snapped. “It wasn’t a false alarm. You’ve got my kid… you’ve got my baby growing inside you and we’re eighteen fucking years old trying to become pro heroes! How the hell are we going to make this work? We need to figure so much shit out—”

“I’m not having this baby,” she said quietly, silencing him momentarily.

“Not hav—what the fuck are you talking about? You want to…to get rid of them? That’s our kid! Just because you never heard about them when you listened to my future however long ago doesn’t mean it hasn’t changed to fit them! Our decisions change and that means our futures can too. Why would—just—come here! Listen to my future again!” he insisted, moving closer so his chest was easily accessible to her. The desperation in his voice broke her heart, but she knew that listening to his heartbeat would bring back to her the murmur of what would be his last words if they went down the path he was suggesting.

She shook her head sadly. “Katsuki, the future can be changed, yes, but it’s because I want to change the future that I can’t have this baby.”

He blanched. “Are you saying you don’t want me in your life?”

“No!” she nearly shouted. “I want you in my life and that’s the entire reason I can’t do this!”

“You’re not making any damn sense!” he screamed, his hands flying up to tug at his hair in frustration. “Say what the hell you mean, this isn’t the time to dance around your words! We have to fuckin’ talk about this!”

She took a shuddering breath, eyes closed. “At the appointment, I learned that I’m roughly eight weeks. They let me hear the heartbeat and because I knew your future never included us with a baby, I activated my quirk when I heard it and focused on your role in their life. The apprehension about what we would do to make this work was there just like it is now, but then I heard the excitement from you as you got used to the idea and kept wondering who they would look more like. Then—then there was grief. You were screaming and saying it couldn’t be right, they had to work harder to find a heartbeat.”

He grimaced. “You’re gonna lose them.”

Nodding, she continued, “I’ve never really had much experience with my quirk listening past the… death of the person whose heartbeat I hear, but this was different. They were gone but the effect they had on you, it consumed you completely. You kept saying that you couldn’t focus on anything but what we’d lost and it threw you off horribly at the worst possible time. During your patrol, a villain—you couldn’t think and—and—"

“I… died?”

She closed her eyes tightly and it was enough of an answer.

The things her quirk allowed her to hear were based on the decisions and intent of those involved, and if her decision upon finding out she was pregnant was to keep the baby then what she had told him made sense. Still, he had to ask, had to make sure.

“And no matter what we do… there isn’t—we can’t…?” he cut himself off, frustrated. “There is no outcome where we have this kid, is there?”

She wished she could say yes, would’ve given anything to be able to. But every other option they had she’d explored and it made no difference.

“No, there isn’t. I just—I want you to be okay, and for us to be okay, and to be able to stay toge—”

“Hey,” he said, cutting off her rambling as her eyes turned glassy, “we’re gonna be okay. I’m here for you now and I’ll be there for you for the rest of our shitty lives.”

“But I’m sorry Katsuki, I know this isn’t something you expected to deal with right off of patrol and this is all so much to just be throwing at you and I’m so sorry—”

He laid a hand on her shoulder and the other tilted her chin up to look at him. “Listen to me. You have nothing to apologize for, okay? We… we did this together and we’re gonna get through it together. I love you and I ain’t going anywhere, you got that? You can listen to my future all you want and that’s guaranteed to be my answer every fuckin’ time.”

She brought a hand up to cover her mouth as a choked sob left her, shoulders shaking as he brought her to his chest and hugged her close. He cradled her head in one hand and hoped she didn’t feel the tremble as he tried to calm his own breathing while she cried against him. Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind and he tried desperately to grasp even just one.

And the one he settled on was the fact that right at that moment he was holding his entire future. She had within her the power to create a future he had only dreamed of in secret. He could only pray to whoever was listening that if they couldn’t have it now, they could someday.

“This Wednesday is when I go back to the clinic,” she said quietly. “Aizawa arranged for Recovery Girl to go with me again but I—I wish you were coming too.”

“Of course I’m coming with you.”

She looked up at him over tearstained cheeks. “Your work study—”

“Fuck ‘em, you’re more important. I’ll figure out—"

“Hey, don’t just skip out on patrol, okay?” she reasoned. “Talk to Aizawa, he might be able to do something. Talk to him first.”

He stared at her for a long moment before his eyes narrowed in determination. Then he leaned forward and kissed her softly, pulling back to press a second lingering kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Impatient knocks echoed through the small teacher’s apartment of the 3-A dormitory, Aizawa’s already tired spirit deflating even more when he realized he would need to speak to another person.

Crossing the small living area, he opened the door to find Bakugo standing before him with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his sweatpants. Aizawa raised an eyebrow.

“Something the matter, Bakugo?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

The blonde shuffled his feet—hesitantly?—before meeting his eye. “Can we talk about this privately?”

Aizawa stepped aside to allow him into the apartment.

He watched him take in the minimalist setup, even going so far as to say that he saw a ghost of a smile cross his features. The sight was enough for his curiosity to be piqued—first asking for a private conversation and now a smile?

“Did the old lady tell you what’s going to happen?”

The older man pushed away his thoughts at the question, cocking his head. “I would assume you’re referring to Recovery Girl and the situation with your fellow student.”

Bakugo scoffed. “Drop the ‘fellow student’ bullshit, you know that we’ve been dating since first year. She’s my damn girlfriend, you can say it.”

“So this is about her.”

“Of course it’s about her!” Bakugo snapped, hands free of his pockets and crackling. “Of course it’s about the girl who’s pregnant with my kid! Everything I fuckin’ do is about her! I’m in love with her!”

Aizawa stared at him.

“It’s about the girl I’m hopelessly in love with who’s way too goddamn good to be with me but sticks around anyway! It’s about the girl who believes I can become a hero because of what’s in my heart and not just because of the explosions I can make with my hands! It’s—it’s—it’s…” He choked out a shuddering breath, crackling palms now just smoking, before continuing softly, “it’s about the girl who wants a future and a family with me and is fighting like hell to keep us both on track to be heroes and still get that family someday.”

Passionate was a good word to describe Katsuki Bakugo. He’d thought so during the entrance exam and from the first moment he had officially met the boy. Rough around just about every single edge, but passionate nonetheless. He had always been passionate to become a hero of course, but now Aizawa saw that the passion extended so much farther past his career choice.

“She does so fuckin’ much for me,” Bakugo said, his voice thick from beneath spiked bangs obscuring his face. “For once, I want to be able to do something for her. That’s why I’m here.”

The blonde lifted his head and leveled his teacher with a determined gaze, Aizawa choosing to ignore the glint of tears he saw gathered on his lash line.

“I came to get permission to go with her and the old lady, work study be damned. Regardless of what’s going to happen I’m still their dad and I need to be there for their mom.”

He had never been more moved by the student in front of him than he was in that moment, though he declined to show it outwardly. Pride was swelling in his chest and he hoped that Bakugo would one day truly understand how much maturity he had gained in his years at UA.

"I approve of your request to leave school grounds under the supervision of Recovery Girl. I expect you to behave appropriately. Both of you will be excused from classes Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Your work study will be notified and grant you a leave of absence for the entirety of the next week.”

Bakugo blinked. “What are you telling them to give me a leave?”

“It would be illogical to tell the full truth due to the oftentimes conservative mindset of many in the world of heroes, which could unjustly damage both of your reputations. So, they will be informed that as your teacher and work study sponsor I have requested you be granted leave for an important familial issue. It’s not a lie.”

“And the class?”

“I can tell them the same thing,” he offered. “As I said, it’s not a lie. If you want to elaborate further that’s your choice as well as hers, but I would be mindful for the same reasons.”

“You gonna keep class rep off our asses too? Because I’m not leaving her alone in her dorm after everything’s said and done. She’s gonna need me.”

“The fact that you need her too means that yes, I will keep Iida under control.”

Bakugo’s jaw set as his lips twisted into a grimace. “I have to be strong for her, not the other way around.”

“You need to be strong for each other,” Aizawa corrected. “Grief is an ugly thing to face alone and if you don’t have to, you shouldn’t. You’re each losing something, someone, important to the both of you and to shoulder grief or guilt or anything of the sort on your own may be a natural reaction to heroes like us, but it’s a self-destructive one. I would know.”

It felt like ages had passed since they’d woken up and joined Recovery Girl as she escorted them off campus and to the small clinic in town. She’d been very pleasantly surprised to see the blonde by her side, saying as much when the two laced their fingers together. The older woman then took the travel time to explain exactly what would happen and how long it would take, more for Katsuki’s benefit than hers since it had been explained at her prior appointment.

“He’ll be coming back with me,” she’d said softly. “I want him there.”

“That won’t be a problem, dear,” Recovery Girl told her, and when they arrived it hadn’t been.

It was quick, quicker than either of them really expected. She’d gone back first and then Katsuki was allowed to come sit by her side after a short wait, and when the anesthesia had her sedated enough it began. Roughly ten minutes of holding her hand later, they were sitting in a recovery room for another two hours before going back to the dorms.

Recovery Girl made sure she was comfortably set up in Katsuki’s room with everything she would need for the next few days before beckoning him out to the hallway with her. When the door was closed behind them, she spoke in a quiet voice.

“You’ve been very good for her through this but it doesn’t end once the drowsiness wears off. I don’t mean just getting pain relief or food or keeping her comfortable. Support her just as much as you have leading up to the procedure now that it’s over.”

“What makes you think I’d—”

His angry words had been cut off by a hit to his shin with her cane. “I’m not saying you won’t, you stubborn child, I just want you to understand that she still needs you. You need to let yourself need her too so you can both work through this together. Now, if either of you need me you know where to find me.”

Once the old woman was gone he’d turned back and entered his room, his girlfriend looking at him sleepily. She looked small, soft, from where she was tucked in his bed.

“C’mere,” she’d whispered, hand reaching out to him. He went to her, sliding under the blanket and gently pulling her close.

They laid together throughout the day, sometimes sleeping and sometimes just talking lowly between themselves. He would bring her pain pills every few hours and help her up when she needed even as she fussed that it wasn’t necessary. He let her rest her head on his chest, knowing she had activated her quirk when a relieved sigh passed her lips with a barely whispered “you’re alive.”

He had a lot of time to think throughout the day, his thoughts wandering but always trailing back to what they had been forced by fate to give up. It was while she laid asleep beside him sometime in the early afternoon that the heaviness in his chest became almost unbearable. It hurt. It pierced his skin and cracked through his ribs to squeeze his heart tightly, the pressure unrelenting as the sun shone through the balcony curtains.

He hated it. He hated that he had lost someone he never knew but loved nonetheless. It was hard to accept and he knew it would take time—even if he wasn’t a patient guy he never backed down from something difficult. But it hurt.

So maybe that’s why when his eyes started to burn and his vision blurred he curled himself around her sleeping form, tucking her head under his chin as he closed his eyes tightly. She was the only other person who knew exactly how it felt, and he now understood what Aizawa and Recovery Girl had advised about his grief. It wasn’t easy to share the weight of his emotions with someone else but if it was her, he could do it. He would do it.

But not today—today was for her recovery. When the drowsiness was fully gone and they’d had a full night’s sleep beside one another he would open up. If the sting of tears returned then, he would let them fall.

With the late afternoon sun painting his dorm room a warm orange, they laid together on his bed in silence. They could hear their classmates in their own rooms and the occasional ding of the elevator as it stopped on the floor. Some of them came to his door to see if he was there, his friends curious as to what could possibly make him skip class if he was off of work study duty. Not once did they give any indication that they were in the room though, unwilling to invite anyone into their space for the time being.

After hours of stillness and peace, Katsuki turned to meet her eye when she continually shifted beside him.

“What are you thinking?” he murmured, fingers absently running over her shoulder.

She sighed. “During that first appointment, they offered to do a blood test to determine risk factors for certain genetic conditions. Recovery Girl encouraged me to get it even though I had already decided what was going to happen. When they gave me my discharge papers they told me the results were there too.”

“You’re worried that’ll say something about why they wouldn’t have…?”

“No,” she said, voice wavering as her bottom lip began to tremble. “That blood test could also determine gender.”

He felt his chest constrict even more at her words and he watched as a tear rolled down her cheek to land on his pillowcase.

“It hurts enough to know that we don’t get to meet them,” she whispered. “I don’t know if it will hurt us more to know if we lost a son or a daughter.”

It made sense in a way. Gender never particularly mattered to him so all this time he had been picturing her with a baby bump and on one or two rare occasions, just a sleeping baby swaddled in a blanket with no real defining features had entered his thoughts. Learning something about the child they would never meet, though, would paint pictures of a future impossible to live.

First a little boy who would probably end up looking like he did as a toddler, big red eyes and spiky hair, though probably colored like hers or maybe even just a different blonde than his own. Little skull shirts like the ones he had worn at that age were probably still easy enough to come by and if not, his parents rarely ever got rid of clothes due to the cyclical nature of fashion. As far as a quirk, it could have gone either way—explosions or hearing the future were both great quirks to have but he couldn’t help but picture a little boy discovering he could blow up his toys.

As for a little girl, he could only picture ash blonde hair and darker red eyes gazing up at him with a pouty look. Her hair wouldn’t be as spiky, it would lie more like her mother’s, bouncing as she ran about. Dresses could probably have skull prints he decided, and even if they didn’t he was sure his parents could make a few. If his little girl didn’t like dresses the skull shirts could be put on her too. And her quirk he had to picture as a combination—he thought that pressing her palms onto someone’s bare skin would allow her some kind of foresight into their future.

Both images left him hurt, and he could only think that his girlfriend had probably made her own determinations about the child now too. Maybe part of what hurt was the unknown, he thought. He didn’t know if it would truly make any difference to know but he had made up his mind.

“Maybe it’ll hurt,” he agreed, “but maybe it’s something we need to do. I think we should look.”

She hesitated, worrying her lip between her teeth, before nodding and starting to sit up. He quickly laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“I’ve got it.”

He easily rolled off the bed and crossed to his desk where the paperwork sat. Rifling through the headers he found the blood test and grabbed both sheets before making his way back to her.

He tilted them towards her. “Do you want to look?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I want you to look and tell me.”

With a deep breath he glanced down at the paperwork and began scanning through the results and test descriptions. He only vaguely registered what he was reading until his eyes landed on one word that drew a thousand new pictures in his mind.

Male.

A/N: I debated posting this for a while before deciding that its important to explore these subjects and emotions. I truly hope I’ve done them justice.

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