The worst Stranger Things fic trope is "every single thing Steve likes is objectively bad and needs to be 'fixed' by his friends" let the man wear polo shirts and like sports yeesh

i'd be the prom queen (if crying was a contest)

3,561 words

robin & steve: an alternate meeting

“Your 1985 Prom King is, drumroll please..!”

Kids pound their legs and any nearby tables, some stomping wildly in place and others simply screaming until the noise bouncing around inside the gym seems to make her bones rattle. Robin halfheartedly pats her thighs along to the horrendously out of sync drumroll, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. It’s going to be him. It’s going to be him, and she’s going to lose what’s left of her sanity, and then since he’s single now he’ll take Tammy home and they’ll have gross sex and he’ll definitely suck at it and Robin could totally do better even though she’s never kissed anyone before. She’d just be better by default because Steve sucks.

“Steeeeve Harrington!”

The room erupts in a cacophonous mix of cheers and taunts. Robin drains the last of her punch as they lower the crown over his stupid hair, and for what certainly won’t be the last time tonight, she wishes that it had occurred to her to sneak in alcohol before she’d already arrived and gotten a peek at Christina Brown’s “hidden” flask.

“Woo!”

“Yeah, Stevie-boy!”

“Aw, fuck off!”

“Homo!”

“Go Steve!”

It doesn’t escape Robin’s notice that the more encouraging remarks tend to be from female voices, while all of the jeers are male. At least one guy is whistling in support from the back of the room. Steve soaks it all up, the adoration and envy alike, with perfect, shining hair and a pageant smile.The student council president whose old lady name she can never remember shushes everybody so she can announce who won Queen as Steve waves to his adoring fans. Robin doesn’t know most of the nominees. They’re upperclassmen, cheerleaders and high achievers who’ve never given her a second glance.

“Heather Holloway!”

The pretty brunette in a nice pink dress gasps and slaps a hand over her mouth like she’s just won the lottery. People cheer just as loudly as they did for Steve, though nobody heckles her. Steve claps, whoops like he’s not onstage and still way too close to the microphone, and it makes her sick. Heather accepts her crown and sash gracefully before being whisked offstage by some muscular asshole who must be her boyfriend, and the DJ starts up “Time After Time.” Steve takes the stairs down, and Robin forces herself not to follow his path through the crowd. The shitty finger foods on her paper plate are far more interesting than Steve Harrington.

Robin likes Cyndi Lauper alright, but this song just… sucks. It just sucks. It sucks almost as badly as the stale crackers left on her plate now that she’s eaten all the grapes and cheese. God, what did she really expect, getting dropped off at prom by her parents to meet up with a bunch of friends? They ditched her to dance as soon as they got inside, and sure, maybe she could get up and join them, but it just… it just sucks. None of these stupid couples will last after high school, and the ones that do will end up miserable together, but there’s still a jealous pang in her chest whenever Robin looks up to see some girl’s nicely manicured hands laced behind some guy’s neck, the way their ties and dresses match and they lean in close to whisper right into each other’s ears.

“Wanna dance?”

She looks up. The first thing she sees is a glint of light.

“With you?” Robin immediately pinches her own leg through the layers of polyester and tulle that her mother’s forced her into for the occasion. Shit, it stung. It actually stung.

Steve Harrington glances around like he might’ve missed somebody else in the conversation, light glinting off his crown, before shooting her a winning smile. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“No,” she says instinctively.

He frowns, and of course he does because the asshole could never even imagine somebody not wanting to be with him, but his eyes go a little dull, a little tired, a lot sad, and something seizes in her chest, and this is why Robin doesn’t always do well in social situations, because panic seizes her throat and stimulates her vocal cords without her permission.

“No, I meant I don’t mind! So I do. Want to dance.”

The sadness dissipates with an airy Steve Harrington laugh. The winning smile returns as he raises an eyebrow. “With me?”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” she says easily, shoving down the anxiety swirling in her gut and raising a hand because she’s read this script before. She must’ve delivered her line right, because Steve takes it, pulling her lightly to her feet and leading her out onto the dance floor. Her heart pounds faster as they weave their way to the center of the floor. So many people are looking at them already. There’s not a familiar face in sight, which should be statistically impossible for a school this size, but Robin doesn’t know any of these people as more than faces in the hall, and she really should have stuck to her instincts. Why did she take back the “no?” That was the smartest “no” in the history of the world, and she went and screwed it up like she always does.

Steve taps someone on the shoulder, and tugs her through a wall of people, and suddenly they’re right by the stage. Nestled between the speakers it’s almost… intimate. The music is loud, but the people aren’t so much. It’s better. Steve smiles softly as he arranges her arms, taking one hand gently in his own and placing the other on his shoulder. He moves his own hand slowly to her waist, like he’s waiting for her to stop him, and she can’t help but snort.

He makes a face at her and grips her waist properly. “Alright, alright.”

She rolls her eyes. “Well, I said I’d dance, right?”

“Jeez, I can’t be polite?”

There he is. Steve “the Hair” Harrington, asshole extraordinaire. She knew he’d come out sooner rather than later.

“...Why me?” Robin asks, “Steve Harrington couldn’t get a date to the prom?”

She almost regrets her harsh tone when he averts his gaze, pretending to be interested in whatever’s going on over in the little photo studio in the corner of the room. Steve sighs.

“Well, I saw you admiring me all night,” he says with a wry grin, neck craned just a bit, eyes fixed in the corner. Robin’s stomach fills with lead. He’s gonna Carrie her. This is a Carrie somehow. It has to be.

His eyes flick back towards her as he chuckles, then they flick away, still focused on something over her shoulder. It feels cruel, nothing like the laugh she heard earlier, and the hand on her waist is hot like a brand, and he must feel how sweaty her hand is, and this is when he’ll tighten his grip and—

“Kidding. Uh, I don’t know. You looked about as miserable as I am, I guess.”

“What?”

Steve swallows. He finally meets her eyes with a weak grin. “Didn’t want to bring someone down with my shitty mood, but I have to dance. So I figured maybe you wouldn’t mind taking a spin and helping me out. Can’t be worse than just sitting around, right?”

“That’s a pretty big assumption.”

He blinks at her. He smiles, really smiles, and tugs her closer so that they might be able to rest their heads on each other’s shoulders, if they wanted to. She doesn’t.

“What’s your name?” he asks conversationally, like she can’t feel his breath on her shoulder and his hand in hers.

“Robin,” she says, and it sounds so raspy, he probably thinks she’s, like, into this or something, which is pretty much as far from the truth as humanly possible. How did this even happen? She’s been facing the stage most of the time, but Steve has been rotating them as he slowly sways, and now she can see some faces out in the crowd. A few are familiar. A lot are looking at her.

“I’m Steve.”

“No shit,” she bites out, fighting the urge to dig her fingers into his shoulder in the hope of bruising it.

“Okay, yeah,” Steve says placatingly, “Obviously you know that. Uh, you look familiar.”

“Click’s class. You sat, like, right in front of me.”

“Oh. Really?” Steve sounds genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, really.”

“Shit,” he whispers, and she probably wasn’t supposed to hear it, the music as loud as it is, but his mouth is, like, right next to her ear, and it’s not her fault that Harrington doesn’t understand how sound works.

She scoffs. “Relax. I didn’t really expect you to remember me. You never really even looked at me.”

“No, it’s not — ” Steve sighs, and she feels more than sees it when he shakes his head. All she can see is the crowd. There’s Catherine, and Ally, and Jeremy and David and Rachel, all looking at her. He’s stopped rotating them now, sticking to the slow sway, so she’s stuck unless she wants to force him, and instinct tells her that Steve Harrington isn’t someone who lets people force him to do anything.

“ ... just don’t remember a lot of shit, now.”

Her attention snaps back to Steve, to his hand on her waist and face nearly buried in her shoulder. “What?”

“Forget it.”

“Why the shitty mood?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

Tammy Thompson’s wearing blue. Her dress is… awful, honestly, it’s horrendous, like a big blue garbage bag, but she wears it well, like with a smile and a toss of her hair she could make an actual garbage bag look even better.

“Alright,” she finds herself saying. “Then ask.”

“...Okay. So, Robin,” he says, deftly maneuvering the clammy hand he’s cupped in his own so that their fingers are entwined, “Why the shitty mood?”

Tammy’s dancing with Sam Reynolds. They’re just friends, Robin’s pretty sure, or at least they’re nothing serious, but it hurts all the same. She’s absolutely glowing.

“Well, as you can see, I came alone.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time,” Steve counters. “There’s music, and food, and you look absolutely gorgeous.”

Robin can’t help how her face scrunches in disgust. Steve must feel her tense up, because he huffs out a laugh.

“Calm down, I’m not, like, coming on to you. But I can see, you know.”

Tammy looks away from Sam.

Their eyes meet.

Robin freezes, or she tries to, but Steve loosens his grip on her hand and it’s enough to jolt her back into reality. She squeezes both his hand and his shoulder, probably a little too tight, but if it bothers him he doesn’t say anything. Tammy is still looking.

“I didn’t come with the person I wanted to,” she says. It’s the truth, but it leaves the same sharp, sick aftertaste as a lie. An opening. Asking to get caught.

“Guess I don’t have to give you my answer now,” Steve says lightly.

“Yeah?” she asks.

Tammy’s lipstick is just on the tasteful side of pink. Just a bit brighter, just a bit more eye makeup, and it would be garish, but of course it isn’t, because it’s Tammy. She licks her lips, so quickly Robin can barely even see. What does her lipstick taste like? Is it bitter? Or is it decent enough that she can wet her lips whenever she’d like without worrying about washing the taste out of her mouth later? She’ll wear it away, then, and Robin can’t help picturing it, Tammy leaning in close to the mirror to reapply, and what if they ran into each other in the ladies’ room, and Tammy asked if she could be a doll and help her out?

“Well, no point in repeating ourselves.” Steve takes a harsh breath, and it’s weird, being so close to another person that she can feel his chest expanding just a bit more than it has been. They’re so close, and she should be uncomfortable, and she is, technically, in the sense that her shoes are pinching and her dress is hot and the whole room smells like sweat, but Steve’s hand in hers isn’t too bad. Pathetically enough, it’s almost nice. She’s so desperate and lonely that even Steve “the Hair” Harrington holding her hand is a comfort.

Tammy hasn’t broken eye contact yet. There’s something in her gaze, though, something Robin’s never seen directed at herself before. Tammy frowns at her, pulls Sam in close, and shuts her eyes as she continues to dance.

No point in repeating themselves. She might be hopeless, but Steve Harrington didn’t get the girl, either.

“That’s really it? You just won Prom King, and you can’t get over whatever girl turned you down this week?”

“You know, you’re kinda harsh, Robin.”

Robin might be hopeless, but she also has a mean streak. She shrugs, and Steve’s hand moves from her waist to rest on her back, like he might pull her into a hug at any minute, and it feels better. Less performative.

He continues, “I don’t think that’s really it for you either.”

“It’s not.”

“Well, there’s your answer.”

Robin shakes her head. “You know, you can’t just keep dodging questions with other questions forever.”

“Who said anything about forever? The song’s at least halfway over.”

She hums like she’s disappointed. “One and done, huh?”

It’s the third time Steve’s laughed since they first started talking, and this one makes Robin smile too. He shoves his forehead against her shoulder for a second, shaking, before he lifts his head again and says, “We really never talked in Click’s class?”

“Uh, not unless you count that time I dropped my paper and you said, hey, is this yours, and I said yeah, and you handed it back to me. That was pretty much it.”

“What a waste,” Steve says.

He says it like he means it. Like he really regrets not talking to her. She kind of believes him.

“What’s the other reason, then?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I came alone and I’m going straight home afterwards because I’m failing pre-calc and I have remedial work to do. These shoes barely fit. I can’t sleep, I can’t remember most of last semester, and I can’t go anywhere near the picture line without feeling like I’m gonna throw up. And I’m pretty sure half the basketball team just campaigned for me because they knew all the girls up for Queen already had boyfriends and I didn’t have a date. It’s funny for them, you know? Makes me look like even more of a loser.”

There’s… a lot there, but he rushed through the stuff in the middle, and something tells her that he sandwiched those things for a reason. What’s his problem with pictures? Does he mean he can’t sleep like he’s up all night tossing and turning, or like he’s torn awake by night terrors? Did he forget most of what he learned last semester, or like, most of what happened over those few months? It’s just… a lot, too much, and none of it really makes sense.

So Robin rolls her eyes. “You know, dancing with me isn’t really gonna help you with looking like a loser.”

“Jesus, shut up. Like you’re not cooler than all the girls in here. You know this is all stupid. This shit is who I am, but it’s not who you are. So why do you care so much?”

Steve Harrington is just as irritating as ever when he’s being nice. Maybe even moreso.

“Oh, you know who I am?”

“I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

She wants to challenge him. Tell me, she’d say, go on, I’m listening. I want to hear what you think. What do you see when you look at me, huh? What do you hear when I talk to you? Do you know what I want? What I’m afraid of? Who I want to be, and what I’m terrified of becoming? Do you hear it when I cry every night? Tell me, Steve, where does the weight of the world sit on you? Is it crushing your chest, too? Or does it sit nice and high up on your shoulders? Go on, tell me. Who does the great Steve Harrington think I am?

But some questions don’t need to be answered. Besides, those questions are meant for the great Steve Harrington, and this guy is… something else. Something sadder.

“... It’s not really about them,” she tries. “Or it… it won’t be. It is, right now. But it’ll be about someone else eventually.”

“That’s… good, right?”

“No,” she says plainly. “It’s gonna be the same way then, too.”

“What makes you think that?”

Robin tries to laugh. It feels like more of a sob. “Call it instinct.”

“Time After Time” fades into something energetic and upbeat. It’s probably big right now, based on how everyone reacts by immediately breaking away from their partners to form big dance groups with their friends, but Robin must be listening to her Walkman too much, because she swears she’s never heard it before in her life.

“Well,” Steve says, not letting go, continuing to sway, “I think your instincts are bullshit.”

“Don’t,” she chokes, “Please.”

Steve unwinds their fingers, and it almost hurts, but then he pulls her into a hug, one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist. She reciprocates without thinking, pressing her face against the fine material of his suit jacket. He’ll probably have to wipe her makeup off later.

“Look,” he says, and his voice wavers, just for a moment. “I know… Hawkins sucks. It really fucking sucks, more than anyone realizes. But you don’t. It’s not… we just met, basically, but I know that whatever it is, you’re not the problem. Okay? It’s just… other people.”

He doesn’t know. He can’t. He can’t, or he wouldn’t be holding her like this, and saying these words, and treating her like...

“Other people suck,” she says.

Steve’s shoulders slump forward, and she realizes that he’s been tense all night. Their hug feels different, now. More like the hugs that her mom used to give her when she was little and she couldn’t sleep. The music is a blanket of noise around them, her eyes shut and face tilted down into Steve’s shoulder, and Robin could almost forget they were in the same gym where she plays dodgeball on Thursdays. Fifty feet away from the locker room with the tiles she’s memorized, with the forty-six holes in the drain on the floor and the small remnant of somebody’s old gum stuck in the grout. They’re standing in warmth, and sound, and maybe it’s a veil of denial or ignorance but Robin can’t really bring herself to care when it lets her believe that maybe someone understands.

“Get a room!”

“Fuck off,” Steve lifts his head to shout at whoever said it, and Robin flinches.

She opens her eyes. She lifts her head. She takes a step back.

“Robin?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Steve leans in to speak clearly over the music.

Shaking out her shoulders and forcing herself to smile, she says, “Yeah. I think I ruined your suit, though.”

He frowns, glances at his shoulder, and laughs at the perfect imprint of Robin’s face loud enough that some nearby dancers turn their heads for a moment. It’s a nice sound. It makes Robin want to laugh, too.

“You want to get out of here?”

Fuck.

“I’m not…” she says, glancing back toward the table Steve had approached her at. None of her friends have since sat down.

He runs a hand through his hair, dislodging the crown and then fumbling awkwardly to save it before it falls onto the floor. He settles it at a crooked angle on his head and Robin snorts.

“Not like that, geez. I’m not even looking for anything —” He cuts himself off.

Steve takes a breath and continues. “ I just… we could get burgers, or something. You’re paying, obviously,” Steve says as he gestures to the makeup stain, but his fidgeting hands betray his confident tone.

There’s no way this doesn’t end badly. No way that Steve Harrington doesn’t try to make a move on her, or somehow figure out she’s a raging lesbian, or drive her out to an old abandoned farmhouse and turn her skin into a suit.

Robin hasn’t felt this good all night. She’s on the brink of tears, but she hasn’t felt this good in weeks, maybe fucking years, and if there’s just the slightest chance that she might actually just go and get burgers with a friend and make her junior prom a night to actually remember… well, she’s willing to take that chance.

“I’ll pay my half, obviously.”

Steve grins. “Then come on, my Queen. Or, uh, princess, or whatever a king’s, like, friend —”

“Are you trying to say my chariot awaits?”

Steve presses his lips together. “...No?”

Robin rolls her eyes as she holds out her arm, and Steve takes it. “Come on, Your Highness. Our totally platonic chariot awaits.”

This time, they laugh together, and Robin doesn’t bother to think about whether it was the fourth time or the fifth. She’ll hear it way too many times to count.

counting calories.

Summary: Since middle school, you’d been starving yourself in an effort to achieve the same body as all the other girls in your grade. When you start dating Steve, he’s the only one that seems to notice.

based on trauma comfort prompt 13 from the x reader prompts list: “when was the last time you ate?”

pairing: steve harrington x reader

Warnings: mentions of symptoms of eating disorders

Word count: 2.3k

a/n: hi everyone! i know it’s been a while, but i wanted to start trying to get back into writing again. this fic, while inspired by the prompt, pulls from the struggles i faced for a long time with body image and eating issues. what’s described in this fic comes largely from my own experiences with eating disorders, and may not look the same to the struggles of others also suffering. i’ve been lucky enough to have a support system around me to help me recover, but remember that recovery is not linear. to anyone else suffering, things can and will get better, and i know it can be hard, but don’t be afraid to ask for help! i hope this brings you some sort of comfort, and helps you know that people care about your recovery. <3

x reader prompts list | complete masterlist

You were trying. Not very hard, but you were trying. You told yourself that was all that mattered, that you were making some sort of effort, but in all reality you were just trying to make yourself feel better about giving up. The only thing you were trying to do was starve yourself and convince everyone around you, including your reflection, that you weren’t.

Your body image issues started young. Growing up, you didn’t look like the other girls, all sunkissed skin and long legs that they started to show off more the older they got. You didn’t get the middle school growth spurt that made so many other girls need a new bra two cup sizes bigger or a new dress with a longer skirt because their curves couldn’t be contained in their old ones anymore. You didn’t lose the baby fat everybody else seemed to know how to slim down, your face never seeming to look any older than a child. While everyone else around you grew into their bodies, yours never changed. 

You saw how all the other girls drew attention from the boys in your grade. You’d heard plenty of the boys whisper to each other about whose ass looked best in their new jeans, or which girl had the best cleavage in her low cut t-shirt. At the public pool during the summer you watched as the teenage boys go googly eyed at the big chested lifeguard, and you watched silently as your friends garnered the attention of any boy you’d had any interest in. In your mind, the only thing holding back from gaining their attention was your pudgy stomach and lack of curves.

So, around the beginning of eighth grade, you stopped eating as much. Breakfast became nothing more than half a bowl of cereal dumped into the trash or a thin slice of buttered toast, never too many carbs or too much sugar. Lunch was a rarity, something you’d just rather not eat because you couldn’t count the calories. Dinner was shoveled in your mouth in a desperate need to quell the hunger that had been building ever since your missed lunch, guilt and regret taking root every time you cleaned a plate. You were much too scared to try and make yourself throw it all up, instead doing workouts in your room every night in the hope it would burn off the extra calories. 

The cycle continued and never stopped, even when senior year began and you finally grew into the body you’d been vying for since middle school. Despite your body finally catching up to your age, you still saw something different when you looked in the mirror, a mess of extra fat and too many curves. Nothing ever looked right to you, shirts not hanging the right way, pants always too tight, despite being made to fit that way. So you continued your cycle of skipping meals and desperately trying to work off the few calories you did consume, forcing you to struggle with violent migraines and an overwhelming exhaustion.

Dating Steve Harrington didn’t help matters. You attributed his interest in you to your efforts of starving yourself, convinced that your system had finally worked in your favor. After extensive trial and error, your efforts had finally paid off, gaining the attention of the boy you’d been chasing after for months. He was everything you could have asked for; sweeter than any guy you’d ever met, always making time for you even when his schedule was full, calling every night to tell you how much he loved you and how he couldn’t wait to see you again tomorrow. For the first time, you were over the moon with happiness, intending to hold on to the relationship for as long as fate would allow. In your mind, keeping Steve interested in you boiled down to one thing. He’d surely leave if your body wasn’t perfect, so you did what you could in an effort to stay as slim as possible.

You’d been disappointed when you weighed yourself two mornings ago. You’d gained weight since the last time you’d checked, a disappointing step you felt led you in the wrong direction. For the past three days, you hadn’t eaten anything but a couple thin slices of toast and a few granola bars throughout the day, eating only enough for you to be able to stay awake and avoid passing out on your bedroom floor. 

Steve had begun to notice something was off about you. It had been your usual Friday night date night at the diner, but instead of ordering your usual burger and fries, all you’d gotten was a small vanilla milkshake and a caesar salad. The next day, when he’d visited you on his lunch break to bring you lunch at work, he’d pretended not to notice you ball up the other half of your sandwich and throw it in the trash along with your unopened bag of chips. 

It became hard to ignore when you visited him at work to drop off lunch, sandwich and chips stapled inside of a brown paper bag. The bell atop the Family Video door jingled as you pushed it open, skipping across the dingy gray carpet in your beat up and sharpie-vandalized Chuck Taylor’s. Steve flashed you a smile from behind the counter, one you couldn’t quite fully return due to the pounding headache caused by yet another day of granola bars and water.

He leaned over the counter to press a soft kiss to your lips as you handed him the bag, muttering a ‘thank you’ against your skin when his lips trailed to your cheek. You sat cross legged atop the counter as he opened the bag and looked inside, stuffing it under the counter to dig through on his lunch break. 

You sat and talked for what felt like forever, the store empty aside from Robin and the occasional customer that stopped in and decided not to rent anything. Your watch beeped as the clock hit 1:30, signaling your coming shift at the arcade and the end of your conversation with Steve. By now, your head was pounding behind your eyes, as if someone was inside your head with a hundred tiny hammers and chisels. The nausea was beginning to kick in as your stomach swam, trying to digest food it couldn’t find, and your eyes were starting to droop from exhaustion. Hoping to leave the store before Steve noticed, you hopped off the counter a bit too fast, head spinning and causing you to lean your hand against the counter for support. The nausea in your stomach only got worse as did the pounding in your head, knees beginning to buckle under your weight. Steve rushed to your side, placing one of his arms around your waist to steady you. 

“Woah, woah, it’s alright. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” You looked down towards the ground in an effort to hide your reddening cheeks, embarrassment warming your ears and face. “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just stood up too fast, I guess. I have to get going so I’ll see you later okay?” You made a move to rush out of the store, but Steve’s hand around your wrist stopped you, his arm lightly tugging on yours to guide you back towards him.

“When was the last time you ate?” You didn’t fully register the question at first.

“What?”

“When was the last time you ate?” Steve repeated his words, firmer in tone this time, urging you to tell him the truth. The lie slipped off your tongue like it had with your parents and friends, floating into the air before you could pull them back. 

“I ate lunch before I came, I had a sandwich and a-”

“A salad, yeah, you always have a sandwich and a salad. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, everything is always a sandwich and a salad. You need to come up with a better lie if you want to convince me you’re taking care of yourself properly.” “But I am.”

“No, you’re not. I’m not blind, Y/N. Every time I bring you lunch or we go for a picnic, you always toss half of your food back into the bag and throw it away. Whenever we go out to eat at the diner you only ever order that stupid salad that can’t be filling in any way because all it is is lettuce and some caesar dressing. You’re always popping pain killers because you always have a headache, you're always tired, you're always annoyed by the tiniest little thing. I know what happens when you don’t eat. Now be honest with me, when was the last time you ate?”

There was a moment of silence that floated between the two of you, Steve’s eyes staring down at you as if he were begging you to tell him the truth. You opened your mouth and shut it again, unsure of what to say, whether you should be truthful or tell yet another rehearsed lie that he’d likely see right through. Instead of making a choice, you said nothing, shifting on the balls of your feet and ringing your hands together as your eyes counted the stains on the carpet.

“Hey, look at me.” Steve put his hands on either side of your face, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes. “You can talk to me, okay? I want to help you, but you have to be honest with me.”

“I haven’t eaten anything since Monday.” The confession rolled off your tongue like bile, words tasting sour as they left your lips. Steve’s eyes widened, taking a small step back in shock.

“You haven’t eaten anything in three days?” You shook your head. “Why?”

“Steve, I gained three pounds since last week. I was worried that if I ate too much I’d keep gaining more weight and then I’d get fat and then you wouldn’t love me anymore.”

Saying it out loud, it all sounded completely irrational. You were an adult now; you should be worried about college applications and moving out of your house, not how many calories you ate in one day. It all sounded so stupid once you finally admitted it, and the shame began to manifest itself as shaky hands and tears. 

“Who told you that you were going to get fat?” You shrugged, lacking a solid answer. “Sweetheart, gaining three pounds doesn’t mean you’re getting fat, it’s totally normal to gain a little bit of weight here and there.”

“But-”

“No, no buts. If you keep starving yourself like this, you’re gonna make yourself really sick. Even worse than you feel right now.”

“But if I eat too much then…”

“Then what? If you’re worried I won’t love you anymore when you get ‘fat’,” He held his fingers up by his face to make air quotes around the word. “Then you don’t have much going on in that brain of yours because you should know that I’ll love you no matter what you look like.”

“Really?” He laughed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Yes, of course. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you weigh. I love you because you’re you, not because you look like some magazine cover model.”

“I guess I always just kind of…assumed.”

“Well, now that your assumption has been proven wrong, will you please start taking care of yourself again?”

You hung your head, another flush of embarrassment tinting your cheeks. 

“I…I can’t. I’ve tried to before but everything always falls back to what I’m used to.”

“Then let me help you, okay? Let's work through this together, starting with you eating a proper meal.” Steve went back behind the counter and pulled out the brown paper lunch bag, setting it on top of the counter and pulling out everything inside.

“Steve, I can’t eat your lunch, what about you?”

“I’ll walk a few blocks to the sandwich shop and get something later. Right now, you need to stop worrying about me and start worrying about yourself.”

Steve sat there and watched as you slowly ate the meal, holding a quiet conversation with you to distract from how hard it was to swallow, or how everything you put in your mouth tasted like it had no flavor. He didn’t let you leave until everything in the bag had been eaten, despite it making you late for your shift, promising to bring you lunch everyday and sit with you if that’s what it took for you to stay on the right track.

He kept his word, bringing you lunch every single day and holding conversation so you didn’t have to think about what it was you were eating. Each day, the food tasted better, and each day, you stopped thinking so much about what it was you were eating. Sure, there were the bad days, but recovery always had the bad days, the days where you would weigh yourself and cry about the result, or the days where you had no appetite and the simple idea of eating made you want to throw up. But Steve held your hand every step of the way, guiding you through the bad days and congratulating you on the good ones. 

Getting yourself back to normal was something you never thought you’d be able to achieve. Turns out, all you had to do was ask for a little bit of help.

Stranger Things - Clocks and Watches S1

People who are following me for a while now are certainly aware that I have special interest in Clocks and Watches in Stranger Things.

So recently I finally made a whole ass rewatch dedicated to look more into what the show presents. This was heavily supported by the ongoing analysises by @aemiron-main, @henrysglock and everybody who participates in the detail hunt.

So while I already posted a few "What are the times off this episode" and "Look here this a funny time specific thing" posts I will dedicate this post to patterns rather than specific observations (while the latter will be addressed too. So now worry's).

So are you ready for the ride?

So let me say some stuff about the general basis of these patterns.

These Things aren't production errors. Why am I so certain about it? Well, let me get this right.

The main villain of the show has one very specific artifact that is a fucking grandfathers clock. The same person is shown as manipulating this very clock in order to change the time shown on the clock. We have multiple characters in different situations who are talking about changing time or wrong time. The very introduction to S4 is a letter where one of the main characters talks about how the people within in the show are basically time travelers. We have very deeply rooted parallels to Back to the future - a very famous movie about time travel - since S1. And most importantly, if the show doesn't want us to see the times why are they showing it to us?

It's very specific that each season starts with a date. If you pay attention it is quite easy to make a rather rough timeline off events each season. And clocks and watches a very often shown to us. So if the showrunners didn't want to emphasize the importance of time why are they showing us so many watches and clocks while it's very easy to just not do that? Especially since the very much capable off using techniques to not show the time. I mean every (main) character besides Eleven has a watch. Clocks are multiple times shown as a very focus off a scene. So if they don't want us to pay attention to the time why show it?

Ways of hiding the time to the audience

It is very easy to hide the time from the audience. And the show is very much capable off doing so. I will explain the specifics on the basis off scenes from S1.

Leaving out clocks and watches

The very easiest way off hiding the time is to just not have watches and clocks in the scene. So for characters to not have watches and for inside scenes to not show clocks. Eleven for example doesn't have a watch in the beginning off S1. She is later getting Mike's watch and giving it back towards the end off the season. They basically share the watch equally but for that very reason Mike doesn't have a watch during BOTH quarry scenes and everything happening between E3 and E7. Also have you taken a look at the Wheelers and the Byers house? Have you spotted clocks? Well I almost didn't too. The Wheelers suppusdly only have one clock at the ground floor

While the byers could have a clock in the kitchen too, but I am not sure if that thing is a clock

So the show is not giving us any basis to see the time by clocks in both houses.

It also left out clocks and watches during Steve's pool party.

Both Steve and Nancy usually wear a watch. But both don't have one during/after the pool scene (as if they planned on going swimming). The show left out watches here on purpose to hide the time.

2. Removing the pointers

Regarding the pool scene there is something else which is interesting regarding the lack off time reference. The show sometimes removes or at least hides the pointers off watches to hide the time. What do I mean specifically? Well look at those 2 shots from Jonathans watch during the pool scene:

Notice how Jonathan has a very high contrast watch? It's black with white pointers which is very easy to make out even in dark scenes. And than we see Jonathans watch (more than half of it) in a quite close up scene. And his pointers are nowhere to be seen.

3. Moving the clock away from the audience

It's very easy to hide the time by characters turning their watch away from the camera or hide behind an object or under their clothes.

Lucas turning the watch towards us vs away from us.

4. Using digital watches

another easy way to hide the time is to use digital watches. Because (especially considering the 80s) digital watches are hard to read from most angles. And because most off the times the watches are not shown to us up close we can't read. Even if you normally could read it you can just turn off the watch and nobody will notice because the audience will just think that your looking at it in the wrong angle.

In S1 4 main characters have digital watches

Mike

Dustin

Will

Hopper

Best example for this is Will in S1

If Will's watch would have been analog we would know the time 100% but because it's a digital watch we can't make out a time.

Here is another example brought to you by Scott Clarke

While yes he said what time it is. But we can't confirm if his watch has the same time.

So now that we have established that the following scenes are neither production error nor coincidence let's look at the patterns I noticed in my rewatch.

Lucas the "reliable" time telling source

I wanna start with Lucas. As I pointed out before Lucas has a very high contrast watch. It's black with white pointers and therefore very easy to see even in dark scenes. I could make a whole post about what times he tells us but that's not useful I guess. I rather wanna point out that in most scenes he is giving us a time. I'm using a time and not the time because I very much think that Lucas watch is not working correctly.

This is one of the very rare occasions where we see two clocks/watches in one scene. And Surprise, surprise they are not showing the same time. The wall clock is 9:10 AM while Lucas watch is more like 7:50 or so.

Here are just a few occasions where Lucas watch tell us a time. Lucas watch is very often in the frame and tell us the time. But I don't think the time he gives us is very reliable it's correctness.

Jonathan the unreliable time source

Jonathan - like Lucas - has a very readable high contrast watch. But he hides it from us constantly. Beside the pointer removal thing (which I think happened in S4 too) he often hides his watch from us.

And here his pointers are removed again.

Mike and El sharing a watch

Mike give his watch to EL at the beginning of E3 (10 min in). She gives it back in E7 when she goes in to the bath (~11 min left). So she basically wears it for 4.5 Episodes (So Mike wears it for 2.5 episodes).

While both characters are very important to the plot and the exchange of the watch is both time very prominent to the audience we are never shown a time on Mike's watch. It is always (as far as I can tell) unreadable.

Characters not showing the time

As far as I can tell there are only 6 characters who's watches don't tell us the time.

Mike

El

Will

Hopper

Karen

Ted

Possibly there are more small characters which I didn't count in here because they are not important enough for me here or I didn't pay attention to them.

Timiline shenanigans

Remember that one scene from my Lucas part above where his watch doesn't add up with clock on the wall?

Here you have a similar situation. Earls watch shows us something 11:40 while the clock on the wall says 6:00 or 12:30

I also talked about other timeline shenanigans like this in those posts:

Going back in time during Shepard scene

Jonathans watch and Nancy's alarm clock

But there is more.

The Library clock shows different times when Joyce goes to Melvald's

Nancy's alarm clock seems stuck at 9:00 o'clock

(The second pic is from the morning after they have the encounter with the demogorgon when Karen lockpicked Nancy's door.

Lucas watch seems stuck at 7:10 during E1 and E2.

I think that's all I have noticed in S1. I could post more pics where you can see the times so if you want to find things for yourself just give me a hint and I will post my screenshots.

Love in the Past: Chapter 4 - Old Movies

Eddie x 2022! Reader

(Time travel reader)

Chapter 3: The Stranger > < Chapter 5: New Friends

Summary: who would have thought that a simple investigation of events that happened more than 30 years ago would lead to an unforgettable and somewhat bizarre journey?.

Author´s note: heeeey! Thanks everybody for their amazing support. I´m trying to tag everybody so if I'm missing someone please tell me, I think some tags didn´t work so if that's your case please tell me <3. Hope you like this chapter!

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The phone in front of you looked at you expectantly as if waiting for you to use it again, you could hear your heart beating loudly, a cold sweat broke out all over your body at the thought that you were stuck in a time that wasn't yours and you didn't know how to get back. All your thoughts were interrupted when the phone suddenly rang causing you to take three steps backward and crashing into the desk. The girl by the name of `Robin' answered the phone with some interest as she shot you curious glances every minute. When she hung up, Robin put her elbows on the other side of the desk leaning against it as she waited for you to speak.

"So?" she said after minutes of silence surprising you.

"So...what?" you said with some trepidation gripping the edges of the desk tightly.

"You tell me. No one comes in to ask for the phone just so they don't answer and hang up while they sigh. Thanks to my job I've seen a lot of movies and everything you've done is synonymous to a suspicious person. So i'll ask again... So?" she commented, leaving you speechless. For a few minutes you thought about your answer.

"You wouldn't understand..." you began to tremble.

"I've lived through too many strange things. Believe me, whatever you want to tell me I might understand" She said as she shrugged her shoulders. The front door bell rang again causing you and Robin to turn toward it. Some girls were coming out laughing at something while the guy who helped you earlier approached you.

"Did she help you use the phone?" he asked kindly.

"The strange person here in front of us didn't answer when they called" Robin answered for you making the boy look at you strangely.

"Why?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out here Steve" Robin held out her hands as if she was presenting his case.

Steve and Robin stared at you expectantly. You looked around the store and realized it was just the three of you. What a great coincidence.

"What makes me think I can trust you guys?" you said looking at them suspiciously. Both turned to look at each other as if communicating something.

"How weird is your secret?" asked Steve as he folded his arms.

"Really weird."

"How much?" now asked Robin.

"Almost... impossible to figure out..." you replied as you folded your arms.

Steve sighed as he lowered his arms and put them on the desk. He watched you for a few minutes making you lower your own arms. You both connected glances until Steve lightly tapped the desk with his hands making you jump.

"We fought some Russians who were looking to use a special experiment to destroy America" Steve blurted out. Your eyes widened further as you were able to connect the dots.

"This experiment... affected the town in some way" you answered slowly.

"How do you know?" Robin replied as both of them slowly approached you as if you were going to tell them the biggest secret in the world, something that is not far from the truth.

"Because where I come from there is very little information about Hawkins or what happened here."

"What do you mean?" asked Robin.

"That's not the important question. Where do you come from?" asked Steve. His confession convinced you to confess your secret to them.

"I´m from the future..." You said quietly as if someone else was eavesdropping on you. They were both silent for a few minutes until they both started laughing loudly making you frown.

"That's impossible," said Steve. "How did you get here." The boy continued to laugh.

"Even better Steve" replied Robin as she touched her stomach as if it hurt from laughing. "Why 1986?"

"That's what I´m asking" you said seriously. Seeing that you weren't laughing both workers stopped laughing and stared at you, realizing you weren't lying. "It doesn't make any sense. A few hours ago I parked my car in front of this store which was closed, Then I went to the lab to investigate, considering it was abandoned-" Robin interrupted you.

"It's not abandoned, we were there a year ago."

"Well in the future it is abandoned" You replied angrily. You were tired of them not understanding, although it wasn't really their fault. You wouldn't believe a person who said they were from the future either. "I went in, did some research, and when I came out I was already in this year."

"That doesn't make sense," said Steve.

"That's what I'm saying! I don't know how to get back, I don't know how to communicate, I don't know what to do" you said in desperation.

"Look, we have friends who can help us, they have all been involved in these strange events you are aware of" replied Steve.

"I don't know what actually happened... or is going to happen. There is no information about this place" you folded your arms.

"We'll explain it to you" Robin replied as the door chime sounded again as several customers came in. Steve walked over to them as Robin turned to look at you. "When we're done here."

Both workers continued to work and help the families and friends that came into the store. This gave you time to think as you walked around the store. There were several movies that you didn't know existed, others that you had heard about from your parents and others that you recognized from being classics."

"You know this one?" Steve asked next to you making you jump a little, you hadn't seen the man approach.

"Yeah, it's a classic. But it's really old" You said as you held up the VHS of `Back to the Future'.

"Old? It came out last year" Steve said confused. You both stood in silence staring at the VHS. "Right. From the future. How far into the future are we talking about?"

"2022" you replied as you returned the VHS to its place.

"That's... a really long time. Do flying cars already exist?"

"No, it's not that futuristic. More than this year yes, but not like the future people thought in the movies" you looked at it. "But a very strange time, get ready because in a future far away from this year you will live a pandemic."

"Pandemic?"

"Terrible times but we are still alive. It wasn't the end of the world" You put a hand on his back and looked him in the eyes. You had to lift your head a little, after all the boy was tall. "I don't plan to tell you any more fundamental things, who knows if this will affect my year. Mind you, a lot of movie sequels aren't the best" You replied while watching 'Star Wars' VHS.

"Will they make another movie about that franchise?" asked Steve.

"They'll make another six more if I remember correctly" You laughed as you saw the boy's shocked face. Robin finished serving the last of the customers in the store by having them come over to her.

"Well...you said this store in the future was closed" Robin said. "Closed because of the schedule or closed because of..."

"Because no one watches movies like that anymore, they do it via stream."

"Stream?"

"Kind of hard to explain but hopefully I can explain soon" You said smiling relieved that they were finally believing you. Both adults started talking about Steve's dates. You started to look around the store until some teenagers left their bikes in front of the store to run in, in their faces you could see the desperation.

"Hey, they're coming this way" You interrupted the worker´s conversation. Steve and Robin turned to look at the door. The teenagers quickly approached you three.

"Steve! How many phones do you have?" asked the boy.

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Tag list: @lillyof-thevalley @jedinerd27 @greekktragedyy @preciousbabypeter @joukiworld @hellojameshowyadoin @sleepgod182 @knowledgefulbutterfly @totallynotkaibiased @felicityofbakerstreet @beatrizsunflower @stitchattacks @tyunite @thcorvi @im-nada @intergalacticaquarium @thedoubleexposurephotography @edenstarkk @bubblebuttwade @mouseymagines

Consider an angsty Harringroveson post-s4 au where everybody lived.

Steve, Eddie and Billy got together after the whole Vecna/Upside Down mess is solved. They’re quite happy with the three of them, supportive of each other and their unique traumas, although Billy struggles a just little bit more (i.e. literally being possessed, the much heavier scarring, tw: Neil). They take interest in each other’s passion, they do cute things together, have an amazing sex life, all the good stuff.

When the Party and everyone is hanging out though, Billy still feels like he doesn’t really fit with them. Always hovering on the outside, not really knowing what to say in conversation, no one really engaging with him. Most are still a little bit wary of him, don’t really know how to talk to him after everything that happened. Once the throuple is revealed to everyone, Billy immediately gets the sense that everyone (with the exception of Max and El probably) doesn’t really like him with them. Something to the effect of - “I get Steve and Eddie, but why him.”

Maybe almost everyone shovel talks Billy about hurting Steve and Eddie, making him extremely anxious about fucking up the relationship. Everyone else seems to think that he will. Steve and Eddie only get shovel talked by Max. Maybe there are occasions where Steve and Eddie are invited to things together, and Billy who knows when he’s not wanted doesn’t insert himself. He finds himself alone more and more. Maybe sometimes people outright forget that he is part of the relationship too. And Steve and Eddie, bless them, all this goes over their heads because they are blinded by the love of their throuple (cheesy I know), and just think that Billy needs alone time or just doesn’t want to be around people.

All of this makes Billy feel really sad and anxious, constantly asking himself when Eddie and Steve are going to drop him. Makes him insecure about his scars and all his baggage. And because it’s Billy he doesn’t know how to express how he feels or even begin to talk about it.

One night, the whole gang is at Steve’s house, having a get together. After half an hour of no one speaking to Billy and him not knowing how to start a conversation with any of them, just quietly ups and leaves to Steve’s bedroom. All of his bottled up feelings come flooding out and he starts to cry and break down. He collapses against the bed and sits on the floor. He tries to be silent, because for all his sadness he doesn’t want to mess up the evening for everyone.

Downstairs, a little bit later, Max notices they’re one head short and that Billy isn’t there. She’d picked up on the tension that the gang had when Billy was around and she’d tried to make him feel better in her own way when she could. They hugged a lot more now. She discreetly goes to where Eddie and Steve are sitting, dipping her head between them from behind. “Billy isn’t here.” She whispers and the two boys perk up immediately, looking slightly wide eyed around the room and sure enough they can’t find a curly blonde head. The rest are distracted enough that Steve and Eddie slip out and run upstairs, where Max said she thought she heard a noise.

They find Billy still in the middle of his break down. They immediately scoop him up into a hug on either side of him and hold him as he cries. Steve and Eddie sort of look at each other wondering about what’s happened. When the tears have dried up sometime later, they ask him.

“What happened Bills?”

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry.”

“Hey no, you don’t have to be sorry and it’s clearly not nothing.”

“You can tell us, it’s okay.”

And so he does.

Not sure how to end this but in my mind they figure it out and work on it together with the three of them :)

[also disclaimer: I don’t think the kids and teens would do this intentionally or maliciously. Also this is fiction, if you like certain characters and don’t like others that’s fine! I’m not gonna tell you what you can and can’t like]

the Mike/Lucas/ Dustin DnD fight and what it means for s5.

happy stranger things day everybody! i’m just gonna get straight into this.

I read a post by @showmethesneer (link here) which is an analysis about how Lucas and Jason act as each other’s foils. I recommend reading so what I’m about to say next makes sense !!! also that post is so freaking good and is full of a ton of great points. We need more lucas analysis!

So I wanted to add my two cents in, and if anyone else has anything to add feel free to do so! These are just some of the thoughts that came to mind for me after that analysis! So let’s dig in, folks.

Again, if you haven’t read the post I linked, please go and read it. I’ll give a brief summary: Lucas and Jason are foils, this mainly stemming in their lack/ability for communication with their romantic interests and their ability to make a safe space to be heard. OP’s analysis goes deeper than that, but this is just the main aspect that I wanted to discuss. 

First off: what the hell is this?

(first picture: Andy – established friend/teammate of Jason Carver who is Lucas’ foil)

(Second picture: Dustin Henderson – established friend of Lucas who is Jason’s foil)

Like. it’s fricken weird how they have the same hair and a trucker hat. Andy is just Dustin but if he was jacked. And an asshole.

I’d been thinking since my first watch of s4 that it was strange how similar their appearances were–what was the point? There had to be something deeper. After reading showmethesneer’s analysis, I realized what the connection really was. The Tigers (referring to the basketball team) parallel the Party. Let me explain.

Obviously, we have Dustin and Andy. There’s no denying their resemblance. Andy is one of the only two characters that we see being in constant talks with Jason who is the leader of the group. The other character being Patrick, who is cursed. 

In past viewings of season 4 I didn’t pay close attention to Andy’s input to Jason, so after this post (and when I have time) I will go back and review his scenes and add my conclusions and observations into this post. I will make sure to add an edit mark to indicate what my newer findings are.

Another thing to note that was slightly suspicious, but not relating solely to Andy was that Eddie made a comment to Steve asking whether Dustin was “cursed” when they were at Skull Rock. Could this be an indicator of Dustin being Vecna’d next season, just like Patrick was? 

Mike.

Look. This guy is a mess. First and foremost, I’d like to take this motif of communication once more, and relate it between Lucas/Jason and Mike/Max/Andy. But first, we need to touch upon Lucas.

In s4 when we see Dustin/Mike/Lucas’ argument over the basketball game and the DnD campaign, there are some clear miscommunications here. Dustin and Mike don’t understand what Lucas is going through because they don’t go through the same micro/macro aggressions that Lucas has had to go through all of his life (racism). Lucas and Mike don’t understand the micro/macro aggressions that Dustin has faced all of his life because of his Cleidocranial Dysplasia (ableism). Lucas and Dustin don’t understand the micro/macro aggressions that Mike has gone through in his life (homophobia). There is no doubt that they support each other–but they don’t understand each other’s struggles and thus think the others have made the ‘choice’ of being a freak. So there is a miscommunication here, Lucas is calling to be heard but neither Dustin or Mike understand what he is trying to say. It’s important to remember that Lucas is attempting to make a dialogue here, to try and talk it out, but neither Mike nor Dustin are truly picking up on it.

Lucas, unlike Jason, tries to make this dialogue with others aside from just Dustin and Mike. He attempts to talk to Max even after their breakup, and he establishes himself as someone who truly cares for her and wants to be there for her. Max still avoids telling him what is going on with her for months. 

We see this contrast of Lucas and Jason, with Jason being in such deep denial about Chrissy going to Eddie for help that he almost kills Lucas because he believes he is lying, and doesn’t even consider Lucas is telling the truth. As * writes, Lucas is BEGGING for Jason to listen, but he just won’t. 

One thing to remember here is that during this fight, Lucas realizes that normal is ‘just a raging psychopath’. Lucas is now standing on the side of the ‘Freaks’, while Jason stands on the side of the ‘Normals’.

Now, to move onto Mike. Like I said earlier, mans is a MESS. It’s hinted that he is struggling with his mental health, yet he communicates this to no one. It struck a chord with me that just as Patrick–who is cursed–tried to communicate in some way that something bad was happening to Jason, but he was shut down by the group. Mike is similarly shut down by his parents. Mike’s mother makes an attempt to get him to open up about his feelings, but the second that he does try to do so, she shuts him down. Jason, in an attempt to bring his group together and rally ideas, tells the group to speak their minds. The second Patrick attempts this, he is shut down by the group. 

Relating to this, Mike parallels Jason. It’s important to remember, Lucas is Jason’s foil--Mike could stand as Jason’s parallel. These are two different things.

Mike and Jason both had a monologue that was 1) disgustingly cheesy 2) meant to save Hawkins (Jason–save the championship game and hype up the pep rally, Mike–to literally save Hawkins from destruction and help El.) 3) is dedicated to their girlfriends who don’t feel like they can communicate/share their feelings with them. El is lying to Mike in her letters about her happiness and the bullying. Chrissy isn’t telling Jason about her mental health struggles. 

Some smaller connections would be that both Jason and Mike stand as the designated leader of their group. I’m sure there are several other connections to be made upon rewatch, and when I do as much I will edit them in.

What could this mean for the plot of season 5?

Mike’s Death.

There’s already like a million death tags for Mike that I will not be getting into here, but it’s established that he has a heavy load of foreshadowing for his death/fake death/being taken hostage. One thing to add with his connection to Jason is that, well. Jason dies. Cut in half. Burnt to a crisp. 

Lucas and Mike fight.

Because of the writing of Stranger Things as a 5-act story, the seasons parallel. We have seen this with Season 4 and Season 2, and the Duffers themselves have confirmed that there will be parallels and heavy references to Season 1 in Season 5. What was a big part of Season 1? Oh yeah, Lucas and Mike fighting. This is further brought as a valid prediction for Season 5 as the Lucas/Dustin/Mike Dnd vs. Basketball fight was never resolved. It makes sense that Mike’s struggle with forced conformity (this will tie in with Eddie’s death. Why else would the Duffer’s save Mike’s reaction to Eddie’s death, if not for Season 5 to show his internal struggles?) and switching into the need for ‘normalcy’ (which is what Jason stood for) vs. Lucas realizing he doesn't need to appeal to ‘normalcy’ could add further tension for the two in season 5. This would parallel both their fight in season1 as well as Jason and Lucas’ fight in season 5. This adds to the Mike death tags for s5. 

Question: one thing sort of related? To all of this is that if Mike “dies” in ep 1 as many have concluded, when will this confrontation with Lucas occur? Lucas is at the hospital at the end of S4, and Mike is on the hill. What will happen in the first episode?

if anyone has any thoughts please share!

MCU Opinions That’ll Have Me Burned At The Stake Pt. 1

(Because it actually worked out really well when I did this for Supernatural. BE WARNED: This is largely Loki-centric.)

1.) I feel like most of the movies/shows released in the last 5 or so years have been heavily geared toward casual fans. And I guess there’s nothing wrong with that! But for me it’s annoying as hell.

2.) I hate the MCU version of Wanda Maximoff so fucking much for many many different reasons.

3.) I have a very strong dislike for the MCU version of Steve Rogers for multiple reasons, mostly because of the level of American imperialist propaganda coded into his character.

4.) The movies’ version of Tony Stark is an objectively better person than Steve, and at this point I’m not even sure if Marvel made the billionaire the Big Hero intentionally as capitalist propaganda or if they just don’t see the irony.

5.) Nebula and Mantis are both way way underrated. They have such interesting backstories and are so sympathetic and likeable and it’s frankly a crime that there aren’t more people stanning for them.

6.) Thanos wasn’t as ground-breakingly complex and multi-layered as the critics and dudebros like to claim. All of his “emotional” scenes could arguably have been genuine in an extremely narcissistic and delusional way, but they’re diminished by the fact that there were a lot of villains prior to him that were much more psychologically complex and actually sympathetic to boot (which… he wasn’t).

7.) Thanos’s plan also made no sense at all, considering he claimed to seek balance in a twisted sense of duty- but said plan actually screwed everyone over worse and made resources issues even more detrimental. They should’ve just made him a full on genocidal psychopath or had him trying to court Hela. One of the two. I honestly think this was just the writers being short-sighted and lazy.

8.) Every version of Thor (and all his supporting characters as well) post-Age of Ultron is absolute trash. He’s a joke, he has zero emotional depth, he’s thematically shallow, he’s boring, he’s embarrassingly out of character…. Just, ugh.

9.) I hate Sylvie. Not just her relationship with Loki, I literally hate that her character even exists.

10.) Natasha deserved so much better than being reduced to a love interest in AoU. It wasn’t cute, it didn’t make sense at all, it wasn’t good for the story. She shouldn’t have had a romance subplot at all.

11.) I actually really liked Clint having a family and a farm. I think it really suited his character and added a little bit more depth to him.

12.) Team Tony made a couple mistakes in Civil War, but they were more or less in the right. And Team Cap was almost all the way in the wrong.

13.) Iron Man 2 wasn’t even that bad.

14.) Iron Man 3 is one of my favourite mcu films, everybody else simply lacks Taste.

15.) Sam deserves the shield way more than Steve, but I’m conflicted cause I don’t want him to be the symbol of pro-American propaganda :/.

16.) Bucky and Sarah are cute as hell together.

17.) Doctor Strange deserves way more credit and adoration, I mean mans puts up with some SHIT I tell you.

18.) Either Wanda is the most powerful sorcerer in the mcu and a total heartless piece of shit OR she’s a sympathetic victim possessed by the Darkhold to do awful things and isn’t really that powerful at all. You can’t have it both ways.

19.) Loki is ridiculously sympathetic and gets the shit end of the stick almost 100% of the time, but I’m pretty sure he agreed to work with Thanos of his own free will, before the sceptre had any influence on him. (Make no mistake, he was definitely mind controlled and tortured at some point afterwards, and that should be acknowledged, but like….. he’s not ENTIRELY without blame here, let’s be real. I think he got himself into a mess and then just couldn’t get out).

20.) Frigga is just as bad as Odin, let’s not kid ourselves. I actually can’t stand her.

21.) Thor never actually changed his bigoted war-mongering superiority-based mindset. He just decided that he likes humans, so they’re exempt from it.

22..) Harley Keener deserved to have just as big a role as Peter in Tony’s life.

23.) I don’t mind Vision, I think he’s a pleasant character. But his relationship with Wanda is the most mind-numbingly boring shit I’ve ever seen my GOD.

24.) Bruce was one of my favourite characters, specifically for his calm confidence. That all went out the window in Ragnarok. Ruined his character too.

25.) Taneleer Ativan, En Dwi Gast, etc (Celestials) should’ve been way more powerful than they were.

26.) Rocket is my favourite member of the Guardians. Peter Quill is boring and annoying and Gamora is more sympathetic but still not very interesting.

27.) There should’ve been less action and more time for them to all live in the avengers compound together like 2012 fanfic 2.0. I like the scenes that are fairly calm where they’re all interacting with each other as a group more than the fight scenes.

28.) LGBT representation in the mcu has been pathetic thus far, but I guess it’s like that in everything so..

29.) Ultron was a superb villain but everyone seems to think he’s mediocre. (Top 3 best mcu villains: 3-Ultron 2-Killmonger 1-Loki. Yes, Loki was a legit villain at one point, don’t @ me.)

30.) It’s the biggest crime in cinematic history that Loki never got to come full circle and fight side by side with the avengers. He literally didn’t even interact with them ever again after the invasion (except Bruce) and that’s just tragic. They were setting his storyline up for that! It was the perfect progression. But noooo.

Commanding Loki (just kind of happens)

Summary: You’re not really sure how it happens but you begin commanding Loki, the God of Mischief, around. To everyone’s shock, he happily obliges to your commands. 

The first time you do it in front of the Avengers they all kind of stop in shock.

"Loki, get me a soda before you sit down." You told rather than asked the God.

You were too busy looking at a tablet Tony had lent you to see him stop in his tracks. He glared at the Avengers looking at him, ready to attack him as if he was thinking about attacking you for giving him an order. They weren't wrong but only because you did it in front of everyone. Probably.

He got you a soda and sits next to you, rolling his eyes at your nonchalant thanks. 

The next time it happened was kind of a life or death situation.

"Loki, leave the room right now and calm yourself," You checked Thor's pulse through the gushing blood which made him slippery as an eel, "You either calm yourself and I’ll let you back in or you can sit out there like a petulant child. Go."

Natasha looked at you as if you were crazy, her hands pressing a t-shirt to Thor’s wound tightly. Loki heeded her no mind though and did as you told him.

He was welcomed back within 15 minutes.

Next, you do it more to push boundaries because Natasha had a conversation with you after Thor's fiasco. She's finds it quite funny that he obeys you like it's second nature but if anyone else dared do it he wouldn't hesitate to threaten their life. Trust me, Tony had wanted to test his boundaries and tried to do it too. Needless to say, Tony wouldn't be doing it again any time soon, he was still pissy some very expensive pieces of furniture got destroyed.

So one day while you and Loki are hanging out with Natasha, like you all consistently do because you three enjoy silence but companionship at the same time. You look across at Nat and grin, making sure Loki doesn't see it and commence your plan.

"Loki," Loki looks up from his book on midguardian foods newly introduced from 1996 to 2010, a questioning frown on his face, "Pass me the remote."

It's simple enough, nothing too strenuous. Yet.

"You have two perfectly functioning arms." Loki mutters but grabs the remote and gives it to you. You give him a genuine smile and you can see he has gone soft in the eyes before he looks at his book again. 

You glance at Nat with raised brows, she looks away with a smirk as you turn on the TV. Flicking through channels you finally settle on reruns of Stranger Things. Natasha gets interested and you kind of watch but mostly you're thinking about commanding Loki to do something else but what? Loki keeps looking at his book but you see him glancing up often to watch the show too.

"Hey, Cowboy," Loki growls at the name, it had come up when Thor told you he used to call him a cow for his horns, "Don’t sit like that you'll get scoliosis....if a God can get that." Loki who had slouched forwards blinked at you and sat up straight in shock from the bad posture. When you see him glower at the TV you smile, he's probably cursing midguardians for ruining his good posture.

"Thanks." You whisper.

Loki hums carelessly and puts his book down to instead watch the show. Natasha coughs into her hand (a hidden laugh, you knew Nat too well), Loki eyes her suspiciously, looks at you, then focuses back on the TV. You force yourself, with great resolve might you add, to not laugh. You let things settle again before you try the ultimate command.

"Ugh." You start, rolling your right shoulder around and poking at it as if it hurts. You're literally about to tell Loki to massage it for you but you’re struck by paralyzing shock. Loki had noticed your 'discomfort' and moved closer to you. Lifting his hands towards your shoulder he stopped and looked at you with a tilted brow, asking consent. 

Aww how sweet.

You nodded and shifted so he had better access to your back. One hand landed between your shoulders on your back and the other pinching the area where your shoulder met your arm and began massaging.

Shocked you let him staring at the TV but not knowing what is going on on the show. Loki and you had touched before so it's not so out in the left field that you're concerned but he was massaging you in front of Natasha. Your thoughts turned to mush as he pushes and pulls your body so he could access all of your back and starts massaging your entire back. You couldn't help the little whimpers and soft moans of delight. Not only was this man a God but he was literally gifted God like hands, unfair!

After letting out another whimper Loki stopped. You felt him shift back to his original spot and so you did too. Glancing at him you saw a hint of flushed cheeks as he stared at the TV distantly. Natasha was outright staring at him with both eyebrows raised to her hairline, it looked like.

Loki cleared his throat and left with an offhand excuse.

Once Loki left the area Natasha's eyes fell onto you. She smirked lecherously but said nothing about what had just happened. Turning her attention back to the show when you shrugged your shoulders, completely flustered. 

She asks, "So like, I don’t doubt Will is going to be found but does Barbara make it?"

You smile and settle into the couch, "You'll find out in a few episodes."

Natasha groans and you laugh. You know she hates not knowing but if she's truly desperate she can look it up on Google or ask Jarvis.

The next time you command him it's another crisis. 

In short, Thor and Loki are arguing, both clearly in a ferocious rage in the kitchen. All the team is there to experience it this time too.

"No, Thor, I cannot simply understand why you would defend those inept idiots you call friends. If you think they're in the right you’re more brainless than I thought!" Loki yells at Thor who now looks like a kicked puppy and your motherly instincts kick in.

"Hey!" Loki looks at you shocked, this is the highest he's ever heard your voice, and probably the angriest too because you just don’t get mad. You have the patience of a Buddha God, Tony likes to say. 

"You apologize to him right now, then you will listen to what your brother has say, and if you interrupt him I will show you just how minuscule a God can be to a non believer."

The entire kitchen is silent. Tony looks like he wants to flee the area, he's been on your angry side once before. Steve is practically engraving the table with his eyes. Natasha shrugs and continues eating her meal, the utensils clipping the plate the only noise in the room.

Loki looks at Thor and raises a brow. Thor, still looking at you, swallows and begins to talk, focusing on his brother again. 

"Im trying to learn but I don’t know how to stay neutral between your feelings and my friend's-"

Loki opens his mouth but slams it shut when you snap your fingers.

"-i do not want to offend anyone but every choice i make I offend you and I’m sorry brother, I truly am. What can I do to amend things between us?"

Loki glances at you to see if he may talk now. At your nod he says, "Start by supporting your brother sometimes. I don't ask that you stand behind every argument between your friends and I but you never fail to support them, it seems. You can't please everybody Thor, and you can't stay neutral forever, at some point you have to realize that you have to pick a side and who's side."

Thor has lost to kicked puppy look but he now frowns and nods, staring at the floor with guilt. Loki's hand comes up, hesitates, then he places it on Thor's arm for a second and swiftly leaves.

When no one moves for a few seconds you clear your throat and they all go back to whatever they were doing before the argument escalated out of proportion, you included.

You realize you may have tiptoed the line of being fair with that last command so you let it rest for awhile, give Loki some space. He of course notices your avoidance because Tony had asked you what was up between you both, stating that the God had asked him if anything was bothering you. Usually Loki came to you with his concerns, not being the type of person to talk behind someone’s back. 

You sigh and tell Tony you’re fine, that you’ll talk to him. So you head out from Tony’s lab and search for Loki. He isn’t in the living room, kitchen, or even his own bedroom. You remember him once stating that he likes read on the roof sometimes, Tony had build Loki a garden up on the roof at one point since Loki clearly missed the garden from home, Asgard. A small gesture but a true turning point for both Tony and Loki’s relationship you think. 

Walking out on the roof you don’t see Loki in the garden so you murmur a few expletives and make your way back to the door when a voice calls out your name. You follow the sound and find Loki hidden on a corner of the roof, sitting on the edge of the building. 

Walking up behind him you ask, “Can we talk?”

“You’ve never asked before, don’t see why you’d start now.” Loki says, no contempt in his voice though, it’s just very...neutral. 

You force out a small laugh, hearing your own tenseness in it, “Ya, about that..”

You sit next to Loki letting your legs dangle over the ledge like Loki does now. His legs kick every once in awhile giving him an almost childlike appearance. 

“First off, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Loki looks at you.

“I was out of line the other day with you and Thor. Not just then I’ve been, well, commanding you to do things for me and that’s...it’s not...right?” You finish lamely, your face a big grimace but you look Loki in the eyes when you apologize.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Loki says with mirth lingering in his words. 

“Well, ya, is there some other reason I should have?” You squint at him suspiciously.

“No.”

Loki looks at you with an innocent look on his face, which you know is pure bullshit, but you let it slide. Shaking your head with a smile you then look out across the open skyline below you. 

“Apology accepted.” Loki says after some time has past. Your shoulders, which had tensed involuntarily, now relax. 

You don’t react, well more like force yourself not to, when you feel Loki’s hand come to rest atop yours which had been supporting you on the ledge. Loki lets his hand rest there before he gets more confident and intertwines both of your fingers. You smile, finally looking at Loki who is already staring at you brazenly. 

“Kiss me.” 

“What?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Loki smirks then leans in, his left hand coming to cradle your head at your jaw and kisses you. At first softly, as if testing the waters, then begins to put more passion behind it as you lean into him. His tongue gently swipes across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to let him explore. 

If you thought this man had God like hands....

When you’re both breathless you part but keep your faces close together. Your eyes roam over his face, noting how young he looks right now, how vulnerable, and bite your lip. Loki’s eyes drop to your lips and uses a thumb to pull your lip from your teeth lest you bruise them more. “Don’t bite them, it is my job to bruise them.” Loki says breathlessly. 

Much later, when it’s dark out, you both come back into the tower and make your way to the living room. The first person you see is Natasha who, legit, smiles at the look of you two. Tony who notices Nat smiling looks where she’s looking and whistles at the two of you who decide to share a love seat. 

“Shut up.” You command the two of them. 

You were sure the both of you made a pretty funny picture. Your hair was most likely tousled, too much so to just be from the wind, and Loki’s lips were nearly purple with bruising so no doubt yours were any less. Not to mention the both of you were too incredibly happy, which ya you being happy is normal but it was almost an alarming amount of giddiness and Loki doesn’t normally show his emotions so openly like this. 

Tony smirks, raises a brow and points the remote at the TV. “Stranger Things?” 

You, very much flustered, clear your throat and say yes. 

heelloo~ congrats!!!! could i get a teenage wanda x teenage fem!reader getting caught making out by the avengers and they are supportive? fluffy please 🥺🥺🥺

Wanda x f!Reader fluff

• You and Wanda... You just hit it off right away. Fast friends with lots of common interests; you were glad to finally have a friend who understands you, she was happy you weren't afraid of her and treated her like a normal person. With her being both a superhero and so young, it was hard to find friends with shared experiences.

• The Avengers, her new family, welcomed you warmly. Tony joked - you quipped back despite being starstruck by Tony literal Stark, Steve, Sam and Bucky were the most polite gentlemen and Clint and Nat had subtly made sure you weren't bad for Wanda - it was obvious both spies cared a lot for the little witch. You quickly became a frequent visitor in Tony's tower.

• It wasn't exactly a secret that you liked girls, however, Wanda was much more reserved about her dating life, especially around others. She frequently said she was afraid they would overreact and potentially scare her partner away. But even despite that, you ended up together.

• Nobody batted an eye - you already spent a lot of time together. You went on dates, made out in the local park, held hands at the ice rink and cuddled up in the back row of the movie theater. Somehow, the exact nature of your relationship went over the heads of the other superheroes and all of them still referred to you as "Wanda's friend" instead of girlfriend. Which was fine, neither of you really cared about the labels.

• "Wanna come over? Everybody is busy, I'm bored out of my mind," Wanda whined over the phone one afternoon, sounds of clanking dishes echoing in the background. Wanda only baked when she was extremely bored; you made your way to the tower in record time.

• "Hi, baby," You two hugged tightly without a care for her flour-and-frosting stained apron. She smelled like cakes and cookies, her long, soft hair falling into your face. "Whatcha makin'? Need some help?" You asked, prepared to roll up your sleeves.

• Wanda nodded, but not before taking hold of your face and tenderly pressing her lips to yours, savouring the kiss with a slow, unhurried pace. You wrapped your arms around her small waist, content to just stand close to each other and feel her warmth, thumbs brushing over the tips of her ribs causing her to chuckle into the kiss at the ticklish sensation.

• In the background, something clattered loudly, startling you two five feet apart; your back was turned to the door but the wide-eyed terror in Wanda's eyes told you all you needed to know. There was someone behind you. Like Neo in the Matrix, you quickly jumped to turn around, blood rushing to your face and ears.

• "Sorry," Steve and Clint, freshly showered and wearing sweatpants and loose tank tops, shyly hovered in the doorway. Steve's face was flushed scarlet as he picked up the phone he'd dropped. "We just, we uh, we wanted a snack," He offered meekly, looking away to the side. "Sorry we scared you!"

• "Well, this is new," Clint, on the other hand, was smirking, almost rubbing his hands together with glee. "But it seems like I owe Tony and Nat twenty bucks," The archer made his way to the fridge once he unfroze, clapping you on the shoulder on the way. "Congratulations are in order, I think."

• You stared at him, keeping a careful look out for Wanda who was flushed as intensively as Steve, nearly shaking where she stood by the countertop. "Um, thanks," She mumbled, avoiding everyone's eyes. You knew that she grew up surrounded by homophobes and the wild response was mostly instinctual. You two weren't bothered much in NYC, but being two teenage girls in love wasn't easy either.

• You exhaled, squaring up and wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders, prepared to fight off the backlash should there be any, but Steve was occupied by his phone and Clint was happily digging through the fridge. Second by second, Wanda relaxed into your touch and lost the tension completely when your lips touched against her temple.

• "LADIES!" Thor walked in with his usual lack of tact and non-existent indoor voice. "I am here to congratulate you on your union!" Steve the traitor evidently had disclosed your relationship status to the group chat; the Captain could be such a little shit sometimes. Shortly after that, the Avengers came by one by one, each one smiling and happy.

• Wanda had almost started crying when Nat hugged her; Bruce had even abandoned his lab in favor of shyly grasping both Wanda's and your hands for a brief moment and grabbing one of the cupcakes Wanda had made. Tony was Tony - his jokes ranged from mild to downright filthy, Bucky having had to stop him by planting his metal palm right over Tony's mouth, much to everyone else's cackling.

• "Ladies," Thor announced somberly, shoveling in, like, his eighth cupcake with no signs of stopping. "If anyone dares to bother you, you shall come to me and I will take care of it!" The Asgardian announced sternly, attracting appreciative looks and agreeing nods from the remainder of the Avengers. Apparently, someone had shown him the meme - the internet had dubbed Thor the protector of lesbians and he was taking his title very seriously.

Promises

He didn't have a lot of friends. That required trust, and trust just wasn’t something Billy Hargrove did. Except with Steve Harrington, apparently. Steve was his friend, which was fine. Billy would have preferred a lot more, but that did not seem particularly likely. Not for lack of trying on Billy's part, honestly. At this point, Billy was so overtly flirty with Steve that he was worried he had overshot genuine interest and was fast approaching the realm of parody. He had spilled his beer on Steve no fewer than four times in the past several months in the hopes that Steve would go to change out of his wet clothes and realize halfway through that just...hanging out in his underwear would be totally fine. Instead, Steve always disappeared into Billy's bedroom, completely at home in Billy's space, and came back wearing Billy's clothes. And that was somehow worse?

And the thing was—the thing was!—Steve clearly wasn’t uninterested. He blushed when Billy teased him. His breath hitched when Billy touched him sometimes. His pupils went wide when Billy stretched or flexed or did that one thing with his tongue. And he didn’t avoid touching Billy, like just about everybody else did, or touch him like he was something fragile or broken. He touched Billy casually all the fucking time. He hugged him when he arrived, and fell asleep against his shoulder, and tucked his feet under Billy’s thigh on the couch, and kissed him on the cheek before he left. He even kissed him on the fucking forehead sometimes, which made Billy feel small and blushy and unbearably cared for.

Billy wondered sometimes if he should just be honest with Steve, but that was tricky, wasn’t it? Because in this particular case, he couldn’t be honest with Steve without betraying a little too much about himself. And it’s not like he had all that many secrets left. Neil was gone and his treatment of Billy was common knowledge, at least among the people who knew what had actually happened at the mall. So, the vast majority of the people Billy actually talked to anymore. It turned out that competent doctors could tell the difference between recent monster trauma and years of physical abuse, and Steve's little group of nerds and their various hangers-on were around enough and had overheard enough to put it together. The fact that Billy was not actually into girls was also common knowledge among that same subset of people, but only because Billy had been in a coma, so he hadn't been able to mention to Eleven that she might not want to share that little tidbit with her friends. Billy wasn’t mad—couldn’t be, not at her—and with Neil gone, he supposed he had a little less to fear on that front. Besides, it wasn’t like he was going to do anything about it, aside from continuing to flirt shamelessly with Steve. So he only really had the one big secret left.

Here's how it was: Billy Hargrove, at the time that he was impaled by a massive interdimensional flesh monster, did not have a whole lot to live for. He had a shitty father and a mother who had fucked off quite a while back and a stepsister who had not yet given up on him for some reason, but who was also probably better off without him. He had a hopeless crush on a gorgeous, oblivious straight boy; several delightful mental images of that same straight boy in a frankly pornographic sailor outfit that he somehow had to wear for work; and treasured memories of California, but not quite enough money or guts to fuck off back to the beach where he came from, with or without Steve Harrington. All of that stuff was good, and it got Billy through the day sometimes, but none of it was actually something to live for. Steve Harrington in that sailor outfit came the closest, but Billy was never going to get to take it off of him, so what was the fucking point?

And Billy knew, even though he didn't exactly remember it, that it had gotten pretty bad for him a few times as he was recovering. Like, 'they were sure they were going to lose him' bad. And people had said a lot of fucking stupid things to him, both while he was in the hospital and after he got out, about fate and love and redemption. About holding on for the sake of the people you cared about. About not knowing what you had until you lost it. About how he must feel so lucky to be alive. And Billy hated all of it so fucking much. He wasn't alive because he had had some big epiphany about how precious life was, or because fate had spared him, or because he thought anyone on the planet would spend more than about thirty seconds being sad if he died. What he did have, what had actually kept him going when it got bad, were these...well, they weren’t anywhere close to clear enough to be called memories.

They came from that long, hazy period when his body was gradually knitting itself back together. When the boundary between being asleep and being awake hadn't seemed real at all. When he had almost no visual memories, aside from brief flashes of fluorescent lights or the shadows of people moving around above him. He had a handful of half-remembered phrases in various voices: Max whispering sorry, El whispering I won't tell. And these...other sentences. These promises, in Steve Harrington’s low, husky voice.

Billy was in no way certain that they were real. He didn't know how much of anything from that time was real. What they were was meaningful, which made it fucking impossible to talk about them. Unlike all the bullshit about fate and family and redemption, they had helped him. Had helped a lot, actually. Had given him something tangible to live for when it would have been so much easier to just let it all slip away. But that was the other thing--they weren't exactly things that Steve Harrington would actually, conceivably say to him. They were things he would have killed to hear from Steve, would still kill to hear from Steve, but Steve was sweet. Goofy, affectionate, kind. Unfailingly supportive. An invaluable friend throughout Billy's recovery. An invaluable friend who consistently, gracefully deflected Billy’s obvious flirting. It hardly seemed possible that he had said those things, and Billy really didn’t want to find out that he hadn’t. It was too awful to contemplate. Because, shit, they still kept him going sometimes, a year and a half later.

The first one came to him from far away, like he was hearing it from the bottom of a well. “I swear to God, Billy, if you make it through this I’ll let you choke on my dick whenever you feel like it.” So, like, there was a fair amount to unpack there. First of all, Steve almost never actually called him Billy, even now. And secondly, literally everything else about that sentence. It wasn't possible that it was real. Billy had to have made it up, given himself a fucking reason not to move toward the light or whatever. And if that had been the only one, he would have dismissed it as an obvious fabrication of his own mind without a second thought. But it wasn’t.

The second one was a little clearer, though all of them were maddeningly hazy. Had he actually felt Steve’s breath against the shell of his ear while he'd said it? It was impossible to say. “Hey gorgeous, hang in there, ok? Wouldn’t want you to die before I get the chance to fuck you so hard you forget your own goddamn name.” It was true—he absolutely did not want to die before that happened. That one had gotten him through some bleak nights, even after he woke up. He still got half hard every time he thought about it.

The next one was maybe Billy’s favorite. Although, honestly they were all his favorite. He wasn't sure he had ever treasured anything more. The third time, he was almost sure he could feel the warmth radiating off of Steve’s body as Steve leaned in next to his ear. “Come on, tiger, you gotta get through this so you can show me absolutely everything you can do with that tongue.” A little less filthy, maybe, but no less motivating. He did want to do that, very much. He had thought about it quite a bit while he was in the hospital. He still thought about it just about every time Steve came over to his apartment, which was often.

The fourth one changed it up a bit. “We’re going to sit there on the sand and watch the sun set over the ocean, and I’m going to make you cream your swim trunks right there on the beach.” And goddamn, that was quite the mental image. Fuck a bunch of holding on for the people you cared about; that was worth living for.

The fifth one was ragged, a little desperate. “You can’t die, baby. I’ve never let anybody put their dick in me before, and you have to live so you can do it.” That one came with the gentle sensation of a hand in his, the phantom press of lips to his temple. He was pretty sure he woke up just a few days after that one. And rightfully fucking so, honestly.

So yeah. He still had the one secret. And there was no fucking way to talk about it without revealing way too much about himself. So he didn't talk about it, and he was never going to talk about it, and he was going to go to his grave not knowing if any of it was real, and he was going to be fine with that because there weren't any other options. Until Steve slipped up.

It was far too early on a Saturday morning. Steve had arrived at an even more ungodly hour and had dragged Billy out of bed for some weekend trip. He wouldn't say where they were going, but he promised it was going to be great, and Billy could sleep in the car, and they were going to have the time of their lives. So Billy was slouched grumpily in the passenger seat, nursing an enormous coffee and periodically glaring at everything out the window for having the audacity to exist at this hour. He didn't glare at Steve. All of this was Steve's fault, but Billy couldn't be mad at him when he looked all sleepy and his hair was a mess and he was wearing his fucking glasses instead of his usual contacts. Billy couldn't be mad at him under any other circumstances either, but he deliberately didn't think too much about that, so it was fine.  

Billy watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve sipped his own coffee and stifled a yawn. Steve had spent the first half hour of the drive not talking at all, but the coffee was apparently kicking in, so now he was trying to get Billy excited about his mystery plan.

“Come on, tiger, you’re going to love it,” he finally said. Billy wasn’t fully awake, so it took a second for it to land. Come on, tiger. When it did, Billy’s head snapped up, eyes wide. It could easily have been a coincidence; Steve would have been fine if he had just played it off, but that's not what happened. When Billy looked up, Steve was staring intently out the windshield, resolutely not looking at him. But his shoulders were creeping up around his ears and his face had gone scarlet. Billy felt a grin spreading across his face. Suddenly, he was on top of the goddamn world; this was shaping up to be the best day of his life. He stared at Steve’s profile for a long moment as the flush from his face spread down his neck. The atmosphere in the car was electric. Billy took a deep breath and tried to get himself under control. Steve's entire demeanor had hope beating wildly in his chest, but there was still room for this to end in disappointment.

“Absolutely everything, huh?” Billy said it quietly, carefully, deliberately, and then he held his breath. Steve made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and Billy felt giddy. Steve had been right--they had only been on the road for forty minutes, but Billy was already having the time of his life on this trip. Steve didn't say anything, but after a few long moments of silence, he pulled the car over onto the shoulder. After he carefully put the car in park and turned it off, he dropped his forehead to the steering wheel. He didn't lift his head when he spoke.

“I didn't think you remembered," he said slowly. Billy didn't say anything and after a moment, Steve gave a little sigh and continued, still talking mostly to the floor. "The first time, it was a fucking Hail Mary. You were declining fast and nothing was working, and I just...I had a hunch. So I waited until everyone else had left the room and I tried it." Billy was absolutely delighted picturing it, Steve flushed bright red, leaning down to whisper stuff about his dick into Billy's ear. "They kicked me out right after that, at about four am. They told me to go home and get some rest, and to be prepared for bad news. But when I got back to the hospital a few hours later, you were doing better.” Steve cleared his throat. “Apparently you started improving shortly after I left. I told myself it was probably a fucking coincidence, but part of me thought that maybe it had actually worked." He huffed out a laugh. "I could barely fucking believe that you weren’t dead; it was bad. And then a couple of weeks later, it got bad again. So I tried it again. And you started doing better again. And then it was like this secret that we had. That I had,” Steve corrected himself. He sat up and dropped his head back against the headrest, but he still wouldn't look at Billy. He stared out the windshield instead. His  face was still bright red. “And then you actually woke up. I didn’t know if you remembered any of it, and I didn’t want to be the kind of person who would come onto you while you were in a fucking coma and then act like you owed me something afterwards, so I kept my mouth shut.”

"Steve," Billy said softly. Steve rubbed his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Billy stopped breathing for a second.

"Don't," he said quietly. They sat in silence for a long moment, and then Billy decided that he had to know what exactly Steve was apologizing for. “Did you...” he started to ask, but he found that he couldn’t finish the sentence. Steve glanced at him and his face softened before his eyes shied away again.

“Mean it? Yes. Fuck yes. Every word.”

“Then what the fuck, Steve?” Billy had been beyond obvious for months. Steve sighed. His hands came back up to his face, and then he sat up straighter and squared his shoulders.

“You just...you went through something so awful, and it was like...your world got so small. You were trapped in the hospital, and now you're trapped in Hawkins until they clear you to leave." Steve glanced over again, and his voice got smaller. "I just...I really wanted you, but I didn't want you to do something you'd regret just because I was there, you know? And I still don't want you to feel trapped into something just because you can't leave this goddamn town. I would never want you to be with me just because you don't have any other choices."

Ok, so there was plenty to unpack there, and all of it was wrong. Except the part where Steve said he wanted Billy--that part was the best thing he had ever heard. Well, the sixth best thing he'd ever heard. There was a silence while Billy thought about what he wanted to say. He took a breath to psych himself up.

"The first thing you should probably know is that I was into you well before any of the Mindflayer stuff even happened. So there's that." Billy cleared his throat, watching Steve out of the corner of his eye. "And the second thing you should know is that I got cleared to leave Hawkins over a month ago." Steve's head whipped around, wide eyes on Billy's face.

"Then why..." Steve trailed off. Billy had considered leaving, but only briefly. He wanted to go back to the beach, he did, but not by himself. Not anymore.

"Steve," Billy said again, giving Steve a look. "You know why." After all, Billy had been the opposite of subtle about it. Steve just stared at him, eyes going impossibly wider as Billy deliberately took off his seatbelt and moved into Steve's space. "But fine, if you need me to spell it out, I'm definitely not in this car with you right now because I don't have any other options."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to Steve's. Steve responded immediately and enthusiastically, and something that had still been wound tight in Billy's chest eased. By the time they broke apart to breathe, Billy was practically in Steve's lap, both of his hands up under Steve's shirt. Steve had one hand at Billy's lower back and the other buried in his curls. They sat panting a little, their foreheads pressed together. Billy smiled wickedly.

"I would just like to point out that you made a lot of promises about what was going to happen if I didn't die, Harrington, and I held up my end of the bargain." Steve's answering smile was bright and just a little cocky.

"I'm looking forward to keeping every single one of those promises, Hargrove. We can start as soon as we get where we're going." Billy frowned at him.

"I survived being impaled by a giant flesh monster because you promised me--"

"My giant flesh monster?" Steve cut in, cracking up halfway through. Billy snorted, but did not further dignify that with a response.

"As I was saying," he said instead, "I am alive today because you have a really nice dick and a filthy mouth, and I have been waiting on both of them for months, and I am definitely not waiting three more hours to get started." He punctuated this declaration by reaching for the top button of Steve's pants. He had it and the next two buttons open before Steve reached out to stop him.

"Billy," he hissed, "we are parked on the side of the highway! We are not doing this here. Literally anyone could look over at any time and get a fantastic view of exactly what we're doing." Steve had a point, but Billy didn't have to like it.

He sighed and kissed Steve one more time, hard, before he reluctantly clambered back over to the passenger seat.

"Fine," he said. "We can compromise." He leaned over and grabbed Steve's wrist to look at his watch. Then he smiled at Steve, sharp and a little predatory. "I'm going to start sucking your dick in twenty minutes, if not before. We're still in fucking Indiana, so that should give you plenty of time to find some deserted back road somewhere." Steve was already starting the car.

He grinned over at Billy as he pulled back into traffic and made his way to the next exit.

"So you're going to start at the top and work your way through them, huh?"

"Maybe. We'll just have to see," Billy said. He paused. "I gotta say, pretty boy, I'm legitimately fuckin' impressed. I didn't know you had it in you." Steve smirked at him.

“Hey, give me some credit. I knew you well enough to know that if I had mentioned feelings, or called it making love, you would have immediately chosen the sweet embrace of death.” Billy laughed along with Steve because Steve was right: at one point, Billy absolutely would have done that.

Not anymore, though. Not if it was Steve. But he wasn't about to just blurt that out, so. He could still have one secret. For now, anyway.

Hollywood Reporter:  At the end of Avengers: Endgame, between the dialogue and your performance, it seemed pretty cut and dried that Bucky knew about Steve’s plan to remain in the past with Peggy (Hayley Atwell). Were you surprised that some people didn’t entirely pick up on that? Sebastian Stan: I don’t know if I was surprised. The Internet completely misconstrued something else and made it entirely into something that it wasn’t, but later, I sort of became aware that people really felt like we needed to have more between the two of them or something. But, it hadn’t occurred to me because at the same time, that scene was saying so much with subtext. That being said, how do you put it all together in a three-hour movie? To merge all those different stories together, you could’ve had another movie of everybody saying goodbye to each other. So, I love how much people care about those two characters and that they wanted more from them, but I just took it as “This is as much screen time as we’ve got left before the movie ends.” It was already such a long movie. And then, it’s just the knowledge that these guys have always known each other’s moves, so to speak. They knew each other so well that they could say, “Okay, I know what he’s going to do, what decisions he’s going to make and I support that.” Yeah, it’s just what it was. That’s what was on the page, and that’s what we shot. Hollywood Reporter:  Bucky hugged Steve and said he was gonna miss him. To me, it’s crystal clear that you played it as knowing Steve’s intent. Sebastian Stan: Oh, a thousand percent, yeah. I played it as goodbye. What I was playing was, “Okay, I know he’s going, and he’s not going to come back. I can’t talk about it, because if I do, then they’re going to try and stop him from doing what he wants to do. So, I’ve gotta support that.” That’s what I was playing in the scene. Suddenly, when he shows back up again, I’m playing it like, “Oh! Well, he didn’t tell me he was gonna do that. I knew he was gonna leave, and even though I knew what he was going to do with the shield, I didn't know he was gonna pop up over there now and be older.” So, I was playing that. Look, I love a good scene with dialogue, but sometimes, I find it really interesting when there’s not a lot said. And funnily enough, it’s sort of been the trademark of Bucky. Then, you’re watching behavior, you’re watching the eyes and you’re wondering what they’re thinking. You’re more involved and tuned in. So, it’s always fun for me to try to do as much as I can without dialogue. It’s exciting as an actor because then I wonder what people are getting out of it. In that aspect, it’s fun. Hollywood Reporter: Some people still lament the fact that Steve didn’t give Bucky the shield in order to take on the mantle of Captain America. Bucky may have been brainwashed, but Captain America is such a symbolic position that you can’t just write off fifty years of transgressions by The Winter Soldier. I also have a hard time imagining that Bucky would even want that role. Since you know Bucky best, what’s your impression of Steve’s choice?

Sebastian Stan: The MCU — as I saw it from my humble perspective — is a bit different in that regard to the comics. Where we arrived with him at the end felt more like he was in a place with a desire for some sort of release: to start over, start life again in a way, find out who he is again on his own and leave all this behind. Yes, it all happened, but at some point, you gotta own your mistakes, what happened and try to start over. That’s where I felt like the character was at the end of Avengers: Endgame. It’s also what he wanted for Steve. Like anybody that ends up traumatized by a war experience, he was affected by it for the rest of his life. So, what felt like a desire there was for a restart — for him and for Steve in a way. It didn’t necessarily feel like the shield was gonna be that. Steve going back in time and saying, “I’m gonna take something for me now. I’ve been here for all these guys, and I’ve done the best I could. I’m just a man, and I’m going to go back and try to live my life.” I feel that is something that Bucky would want for his best friend, and at the same time, Steve is saying to Bucky, “You’re going to go and do that, too. I’m not going to put this thing on you. We’re both going to live our lives — the lives that were actually taken from us back in the ‘40s when we enlisted.” So, that’s where I felt they were at the end of the movie. I don’t think there’s a desire or any conflicted thoughts about taking on that mantle. Sam, to me, was always the clear man to take on that mantle for numerous reasons, which also comes with so much more baggage that’s going to be explored in the show. I guess you’ll have to tune into Disney+ to find out why. (Laughs.) At the end of Endgame, for either Steve or Bucky, it’s really not about the shield.

Whumptober 2021 day 5: Misunderstanding

Nat on fire

Small mentions of drug use, sickness, emeto

___________________________

Nat gets the call to action a few minutes past five on Wednesday morning. Her phone, stashed in the bed and still on its charger , begins to blare loudly, as does the pager she’s long since thrown into the depths of the closet. Once she answers one, they’ll both stop. It’s usually convenient, except that today she’s nowhere near either of them.

On a normal morning, Nat would still be in bed. Probably still in the dregs of REM, but lately, she’s just been drifting off at this hour, the drink and drugs in her system wearing down and leaving her to catch a short rest.

That’s not today, though. It’s the middle of the week, and Nat’s not stupid. She hasn’t shot up in two days. She hates to think that small of a break would put her in withdrawal, for she can’t be that addicted, can she? But that’s about the only logical cause Nat can think of for her sudden and desperate urge to leap out of bed and spill her guts into the toilet.

She’s been at it since…midnight? Maybe two. There was definitely a two showing on her glowing digital alarm clock when she dashed past it and skidded on her knees into the tiny bathroom. Hours have passed; Nat can tell without turning around to look at the clock. Her abdominal muscles have begin to hurt from heaving. She’s distinctly lightheaded, even perched up with the support of the toilet seat. Everything tastes like sour tropical fruit and salt and sweat. And Fury has a general rule about not calling before don’t-be-a-dick o’clock.

There’s a pause in the loud ringing from the bedroom behind her, then it all starts up again. Someone’s hit redial. Nat sighs and leans away from the toilet bowl, testing herself before leaving it completely. She’s fine, though shaky, and her throat seems both abraded and extra wet. “Ok,” she says, trying to push out speech without having to cough first.

Nat reaches around in the now-cold bedclothes and finds her phone, lit up and flashing Fury’s name.

“What?” Nat groans, almost before she has the speaker to her ear.

“Well, good morning to you,” Fury says in a clipped, annoyed tone. “What took you so long?”

“I was asleep…”

“Yeah, well, speedy reaction times are still a thing.”

Nat rolls her eyes, but but the movement brings back full-on nausea, so she stops, presses her shaky, slightly damp hand to her forehead, and takes two steps back until she finds the closet door against which to ground herself.

“Romanov?” Fury seems mildly concerned about her. Or maybe the connection of the call.

“Yeah,” Nat answers. “Here.”

“Briefing at 6:30. Trouble’s come up,” Fury explains shortly. “In country, so at least the flight’ll be short.”

“Urgent, uh, stuff…?” Nat hazards, her head more than her stomach telling her she’d be more comfortable back in the bathroom. She’s sure she’s emptied out, but that doesn’t mean the urge to retch is gone.

“Do I call you in for anything else?” Fury asks, as if she’s stupid.

“Well, um—“

“Briefing. 6:30,”. Fury shores up. “We still have a coffee machine.”

“Oh—“. Nat has to move her hand down over her mouth. “I’m really not feeling—“

“You’re up to it,” Fury says. “I promise. You’ll be finished by lunch, and you can all go and have your little celebratory hamburgers and what all.”

Nat’s going to explode. She presses what she hopes is the red button to end the call and throws her phone back on the bed. Then she turns on the spot and runs the three or four paces it takes to re-enter the bathroom. She bends at the waist and violently heaves, bringing up absolutely nothing except a dribble of foamy spit.

“Fabulous…”. Nat wipes her mouth on the back of her hand, then tries to force her fuzzy brain into motion. She needs to go into the office, there’s really no choice there. Then things are largely up to fate; she can sit seasick through a PowerPoint and bum along on a mission where she may or my not throw up on a jet, or she can get to the office and experience things going downhill from there. Nat can’t visualize an outcome where everything goes well.

Once she’s feeling steady enough, Nat gets back to her feet and turns on the bathroom light. She ignores the pale yellowish ring she’s made in the toilet and grabs a brush to see to her hair. Under the sink there’s a dusty gallon jug of distilled water, probably meant for the steam iron left untouched on the top shelf of the pantry. Fluids are fluids, though, and Nat has no Gatorade at the moment, so she unseals the lid and lifts the heavy bottle with both hands in order to take a drink. The water tastes like plastic, but anything’s better than the horror currently festering behind her molars.

Nat wore clothes to bed, a pair of faded black sweats and a SHIELD academy t-shirt, so she doesn’t bother getting dressed. She shoves her feet into tennis shoes without socks. Then she nabs a plastic grocery sack that’s listlessly floating across the kitchen tile opposite the window unit AC and stashes inside a pair of rolled up jeans and her phone. Nat takes her keys from the hook beside the front door, then takes a last deep breath and steps out into the hazy dawn.

It’s humid, and Nat’s car is covered in soft condensation. The moisture in the air settles on her upper lip, making her feel artificially hot and sick all over again. It’s only for a second, though, for once Nat’s in her vehicle, she blasts the cold air until she’s thoroughly chilled. Her hand shakes as she adjusts the temperature again to something more moderate, and it takes nearly the entire ride up the highway for her body to settle.

Nat’s fine, apart from a few hard swallows and intent breaths, until she gets to the side streets leading up to the SHIELD building. Half of them are one-way, and with cars illegally parked at intervals where she’d like to be driving, rather more attention is required than she’s prepared to give at the moment.

Nat’s stomach groans as she manages to squeeze past a crooked PT Cruiser with one tire attached to the curb. She swallows quickly a few times, but her mouth waters, and she isn’t sure anything is actually going down.

The next turn puts her at the entrance to the parking garage. Nat’s grateful that her full-time status lets her whiz past the barrier without having to stop and take a ticket. She loops around the first level, then the second. She’s about to go up the third and park on four, which puts her closest to the correct set of offices and locker rooms, but she’s beginning to taste bile again, and she knows she won’t last.

There’s a cluster of parking spaces in front of Nat, the weird angled ones that are most likely to get backed into by other cars as they escape at the end of the day, but, hey. She needs a spot and she needs one now. Nat means to let the car coast forward into the space, but it stagnates, and she hits the accelerator lightly. She has to slam on the break to keep from plowing into the blockade, and the jolt sends pure agony through her head, which then feeds down her spine, and into her abdomen.

“Fuck,” Nat mutters, trying to open the door and escape without first taking off her seatbelt. She hangs out of the car door, gagging for a moment, then her nausea dispels long enough for her come to her senses, disengage the seatbelt, and completely exit the car.

Unsteady on her feet, Nat clings to the door and hangs her head. Her breaths come fast and light perspiration forms on her forehead. Her throat feels gunky and sore, and she’s unaware of what or how much she’s expelling until she hears the splatter agains the garage floor.

A car horn honks suddenly behind Nat, and she starts, whipping her head around. Headlights nearly blind her, but Nat can make out the silhouette of an open door and someone moving toward her.

“Nat?” A familiar voice calls, and she can see him pick up his pace, running now to close the gap between his car and hers.

Nat curses under her breath, then spits and shakes her head. There’s no real hiding the evidence, not at this point. Best she can do is come up with a convincing lie and hope her body can roll with it.

“Are you ok?” Steve asks, approaching her with arm outstretched. He goes to touch her shoulder, but changes his mind at the last moment and places his palm atop the roof of the sedan.

“Um. Yeah.” Nat clears her throat a little, which burns and brings on a secondary desire to turn her insides out, but she clenches every muscle esophagus to colon and manages to keep it down.

“Are you—?”

“Coffee.” Nat tries to find her voice. “Didn’t quite agree with me.”

“Uh…”. Steve shakes his head. “That’s not coffee.”

Nat turns her head a micrometer and sees him looking at the hideously yellow bile running downhill toward her tires.

“Why are you so interested in looking at my…” Nat accuses. “You know. And why’d you honk at me?”

“That was a mistake.” Steve looks mildly ashamed. “I just traded in for a newer model…” He trails off.

“No matter what year it is, you shouldn’t leave it idling like that,” Nat snaps. She gets a swipe in at her face while Steve’s looking backward at his inappropriate high beams.

“You seem like you’re in trouble,” Steve says abruptly, still turned away. “You’re really sick.”

The flickering fluorescents overhead can’t be doing anything good for her complexion. “Eh. Everybody gets hit sometimes.”

“You shouldn’t have had to come in.”

Nat’s laugh comes out more like a weak, hitching sigh. “Try telling that to Fury.”

“You downplay things. Hard. You know?” Steve’s free hand comes out of nowhere and the backs of his fingers rest lightly below Nat’s cheekbone.

“Get off, you creep—“

“Relax. I’m just checking your temperature.” Steve’s smile looks placating, but his eyes are wide and honest.

“Hm.” Nat sniffs and waits for him to be done.

Steve drops his hand back to his side and nods conclusively.

“What?”

“Just what I thought. You’re warm.” Steve doesn’t waste time. “C’mon, I’ll quit idling my engine and take you home.”

“Nah, I’ll probably ruin your new upholstery.” Nat gulps, disgusted by the possibility of new car smell filling her lungs and sinus cavities. “I don’t know. I’ll just…”. Nat looks into her vehicle, dreading the journey back to her apartment. She shifts her eyes back to Steve. “And I’ll have to beg out to Fury first, anyway.”

“I’ll do it for you,” Steve says. “On my word.”

“You’re not going to take pictures on your phone, are you?” Nat asks weakly. “You’re going to need proof to get past that guy…”

“If you can’t ride in a car, you need to be in medical.” Steve seems to realize he hasn’t broken it to her gently, so he backtracks and says, “With beds, you know?”

Nat wants to disagree. Even if she’s not fit for a mission, she can at least be independent. Take care of herself. But what’s she even thinking? She’s barfing in a damn parking garage, getting rescued by a coworker because she can’t even get up to the right floor.

“Fine,” Nat practically growls. “But no needles.” The nurse babysitting her doesn’t need to see the baby track marks dotting her inner elbow. She’ll keep those to herself, thank you very much. “No IVs. Bed. Bin. That’s all.”

“I’ll make sure that’s clearly communicated.” Steve nods , then jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Let me go park that thing, and I’ll walk you in.”

“Sure…”

Steve vanishes, and a moment later, the offensive headlights dim to something more manageable. His car moves forward and comes to a stop a few places down from hers.

Nat could vanish, too. Run into the building. Jump into her driver’s seat and speed off.

She doesn’t need the help. Or the charity. Or the friendship, really. She isn’t quite sure why, but she stays.

ok so I know you said you weren’t gonna explain daisy and then you did, and I want u to know I love when you explain your stories, almost as much as the stories themselves. I both envy and admire the way you think about characters and the way you build your stories and put all these elements together. bc this was a silly story and I laughed almost the whole way through, but there were moments with genuine meaning (ok gertude and jon conversation and about being a very nice boy and all that really got me bc like when am I not having feeling about jon lmao). So then I have Many Feelings about this silly story that are both heartfelt and just pure amusement and I go to you tumblr and then you talk about this story in a way that just makes me love it more. I think it’s bc you write stories where the pov is generally from only one character and when I read the story it’s like I can tell the other characters are having thoughts and feelings deep enough as the pov character, but for the most part, these rich inner lives or just lives separate from the pov character can’t really be perceived. Like it’s all there, but bc we are only seeing it from one characters pov, then there are things we aren’t going to see. And that’s really cool bc like, your characters are real enough that even tho things aren’t outright stated, I can tell there is so much happening “behind the scenes” so to say. It’s neat bc to read what your processes that went into writing a story is satisfying bc it’s like, ok here is what’s happening without the unreliable narrator. Idk as someone who is perpetually confused on why people do what they do (even myself sometimes lol), I like coming here where you explain things so well. Idk this is getting too long so just gonna say that I just really like what you do haha

;_______; Thank you so much. I’m always stressing out that I talk too much and go on too long about stuff nobody cares about lol. I’m also always pretending that I’ve thought stuff out or that I know exactly what I’m doing when I really don’t. I do objectively talk quite a bit about stuff here, but in my defense almost nobody irl knows that I write, at all. They think I don’t have hobbies. 

I’m glad it heightens the experience, though, I didn’t think about it that way. Rise of Skywalker Rule: people shouldn’t need to hear your word of god to understand what’s going on. But I really do hate writing multiple POVs (I only do it when it’s absolutely necessary) for a lot of reasons, but definitely it means that a lot of the behind the scenes character work you do goes unseen. But...even if you don’t see it, you know when it’s not there. A lot of technique in art is like that - invisible unless it’s bad lol. Take Daisy in TCF - it is blindingly evident that I did not really know what was really going on with her until much later in the story. My #1 frustration with that fic - just because Daisy will never tell Jon what’s going on, that’s not an excuse for me not knowing. 

But I do think a lot of a story is a supporting cast. I really sincerely hate it when a story is winnowed down to Main Character and Love Interest, and everybody else is a flat prop for that. I was reading a super fabulous Stucky fanfic the other day that was gorgeously written, but...none of the supporting characters had conversations with Steve that weren’t about Bucky. It was like some kind of terrifying Lotus Eater Machine hellscape. Imagine if nobody around you had rich inner lives, that they didn’t have their own rationales for what they did, that they had lives outside of you - that literally their only role in your life was to get you together with your boyfriend. Disturbing. (This was another parodied thing in Sucker’s Bet) A lot of Jonmartin fics are guilty of this too, frequently even worse. 

So, it’s kind of this dual thing for me - I have to know 10 things about a character and only 1 of those things will appear in the story. This is why I spent so long going on about how I know character’s religions lol. And even if you don’t know these things, it’s obvious when it’s not there. My stuff gets bloated because I insist on giving every major character a character arc and it is terrible of me (Solitaire was a hellscape). Even in the joke arson story - Jon, Sasha, and Tim all needed their individual character arcs, and even though Gerry and Daisy were more plot based characters you still got a strong sense of their lives. 

But the flipside is that as I’ve mentioned I don’t do OCs and I just adjust everyone based on the needs of the story.  Character is fluid and flexible for me so rarely anything is set in stone. I’m always spinning a ton of plates. I think when you know too much about your character and their background you end up stubbornly forcing a square peg into a round hole sometimes. For all I’ve talked about knowing characters - sincerely please don’t think about it too hard it’s useless. I don’t get too attached to any one characterization. Most of the time, the characterization in the story organically grows as the story develops. Some of the time I only really get a character as I write the final scene, then I have to go back and rewrite a bunch. There is a tremendous amount of characters who only really clicked for me as I wrote a final climactic scene (HR!Jon, TCF!Daisy and Web!Jon but specifically in Evilcon are the worst offenders, but also TCF!Annabelle, BBC!Gerry, SC!Daisy...). 

Anyway if you want the reason why I write so many side stories it’s because I finish a story and I just GOTTA tell you EVERYTHING I know about Agnes and Gerry or whatever (how did they meet? Jon will never know!). Legitimately for anyone who’s read Solitaire I highly recommend the Tim side story because Melanie is probably the most unreliable narrator I’ve ever written and there is this entire fucking storm of shit going under the surface of that Tim. Just because he got so complicated. I’ve been churning out a shitton of HR!Jon stories just to fucking try and get the character to click for me. It just goes on and on. As usual I’m both putting too much thought and not enough thought into things - the only way I really hammer out these things is by writing just an insane quantity of words, which is not the most. efficent way.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m hindering myself by not writing multiple POVs but also fuck that. Thank you for the super sweet ask I loved it!

Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think the Outsiders(including Tim & Curly) ideal girl would be like personality-wise and/or looks-wise

(a/n: heya lovely! i’m just letting you know that i wasn’t comfortable writing about the ideal looks they went for as i’ve seen a lot of these types of imagines posted and most of them are blonde haired, blue eyed white girls. i really want to begin ensuring that my writing is inclusive to as many people as i can, and i also don’t think the boys would be too knit-picky on their partners looks. so, i’ve mainly focused on the “ideal” personalities instead, which btw are just my own opinions on how i view the characters, as well! - admin kat🌙❣)

DISCLAIMER: i would like to give an ENORMOUS shoutout to @the-outsiders-blogg for their help in creating this piece! they helped me come up with some initial ideas (which i used) for what each of the boys would find ideal in a partner personality wise, as well as editing this piece and helping me add some new parts in. this is especially the case for steve, whom i find the most challenging to write for! but now i feel like i have a better grip on his character. so thank you so much for all of your help hun! also you all need to follow them bc their imagines, gifs and memes are just the most spectacular! ❤

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Gang + The Shepard Brothers Ideal Types Personality Wise Preferences:

Darry Curtis:

° I think that it’s a no brainer that Darry would date someone who’s got a more mature outlook on life and mindset in general. He doesn’t really have time or energy to invest into a relationship with someone who’s going to throw tantrums and storm out like a child. Darry has two kid brothers and a gang of friends who are pros at that, he needs someone who can keep their cool.

° He’s also going to be looking for someone who is much more grounding and soothing since he’s stressed 25/7 from raising two kid brothers, paying the bills on time and having his buddies crash at his house almost everyday.

° I believe as well that Darry would be looking for a more stable relationship, particularly one that’s long term. Darry doesn’t have the time to invest in something short term that doesn’t go anywhere. If he’s going to be with someone, he’s going to be very serious about it.

° He needs someone who’s good at communicating. Sometimes he holds in all of his emotions until they explode out messily. He needs someone who can communicate their points of views in an adult-like fashion. Also, by you speaking about your emotions it tends to open the door a crack to allow him to open up emotionally to you also, which is initially quite challenging for Darrel to do.

° Darry will need to be with someone who isn’t too sensitive. In his eyes there’s nothing wrong with sensitivity, it’s just that his words can come out rather brashly, especially when he’s high with emotion and often he’ll say things in the heat of the moment that he truly did not mean. So in other words, he needs to be with a partner that won’t take what he says to heart and will take things with a pinch of salt.

Sodapop Curtis:

° With all of the listening and diligent advice giving that this boy hands out, he’s going to need a significant other that can also do the same for him. I mean, the poor boy is only a human, he has troubles, insecurities, fears, worries, hopes and dreams just like the rest of us. He’ll also need them to be a bit patient with him because he’ll often feel guilty when he comes to you with his issues, it makes him feel weak. So all in all, he is looking for a partner in which he can develop a strong emotional connection to.

° Sodapop is definitely an adventurous and spontaneous young man and is eager to find a partner that is up to having fun with him, at least some of the time. This could be when you sit on his lap during a drag race, attending rodeos with him, going to parties and having a blast of a time by dancing the night away, the list goes on! As long as you’re up to doing some fun things with him, he’s down to be with you.

° Introversion, ambiversion or extroversion really doesn’t matter to Sodapop. He will love his partner to their very core, warts and all! As long as you’re a good person, Sodapop doesn’t really care. He’s understanding of everybody and will ensure that you’re comfortable no matter what when you’re dating him. 

° Obviously he’s going to want to be with someone who’s both trustworthy and honest, for obvious reasons regarding his ex Sandy. There’s also going to have to be some patience coming from your part. I mean, he’s over her now, but the insecurity of someone breaking his heart again like she did is a pretty intense fear of his. But that’s okay, because you naturally help soothe that insecurity of his: When you say you only have eyes for this dreamy guy, you mean it!

Ponyboy Curtis:

° Ponyboy would definitely lean towards being with someone that is more in touch with their femininity and their sensitive qualities. This is surely due to the fact that he too is quite sensitive. He wants to share sunrises and sunsets, along with his thoughts of movies and books with his partner, since he can’t exactly share that much with anyone else in the gang.

° Ponyboy also loves creativity and sports, so he’s going to look for someone with either a passion for creativity or sports, maybe even science. He enjoys practicing your sport with him and bouncing creative ideas off of you. You two would make the perfect study partners!

° He’s also going to look for someone who’s a good listener because he has a lot of intense thoughts swirling around in his noggin most of the time. He’d be super grateful for it and shyly thank you, returning the favor tenfold. Pony believes in making sure that what he receives he puts out back to you just as handsomely.

° Ponyboy is definitely an introvert and that’s awesome! I feel that he’d be down to be in a relationship with another introvert, but he’s also going to need someone that will bring him out of his shell a little. He’s going to be with someone that he feels he can trust and fully relax around, which is why he’s able to share his interests and thoughts with you so fluently. So, regardless, his emotional connection to you needs to be strong in order for him to speak more and open up.

Johnny Cade:

° Johnny has a whole host of issues mentally and emotionally, so it’s incredibly important that he is with a significant other that displays qualities of compassion, patience and support. Having someone he can go to is an important step in him allowing his walls to slowly break down. If he’s talking to you without having to be forced to, you know that he’s comfortable around you.

° Again, Johnny is going to need someone who is an excellent listener. It may take some time for him to open up to you, but when he does he’s honest. And you best believe that he’s incredibly grateful to have you. Just like Ponyboy and Sodapop, he’ll also listen to you. He believes that a relationship is a two way street as well.

° Johnny is pretty introverted and shy, there’s no doubt about that. I personally feel that he would be with someone who’s much more independent and enjoys making the decisions in general. It’s going to take some time for him to be comfortable enough to communicate what he wants and why. But your patience comes in handy and eventually he’ll tell you he wants to go see a new movie at the drive-in, etc. Yet initially he’s going to let you make most of the decisions.

° Like Ponyboy, he’s definitely ecstatic to be around another introvert, vibing off of each other would be amazing for him. Silences wouldn’t be awkward and things would just be over all chill. But, I still believe that Johnny needs a partner who can get him to relax in any situation and bring his feisty nature out a little more, since it’s definitely there and we’ve all seen it! The gang find it endearing that Johnny speaks more when you’re around, it makes them happy to see how joyful he is, because that beating from those Soc’s had really left him jumping at the sight of his own shadow. Poor baby!

Dallas Winston:

° Dallas Winston is going to be into someone who is more care-free. Being with someone that’s constantly anxious leaves him feeling on edge and he wants to feel on top of the world, all round relaxed. Especially when it comes to respecting his boundaries. The whole idea of someone attempting to change who he is makes it difficult for him to take them seriously as a partner. He’s Dallas Winston, he’s going to do what he wants!

° Like Sodapop, Dallas is looking to be with someone who likes to have fun and bend the rules. Dally is a rule breaker himself, often going out of his way to break the law. He’s not asking for his partner to start shoplifting or pulling crazy stunts like he does, but even minor things will get his adrenaline pumping. Although, he’s not opposed to dating a goody two shoes either!

° In Dally’s eyes, he doesn’t care whether you’re a tomboy, a girly girl or somewhere in between! He picked you because he loves your style and the person that you are, despite how mushy that sounds. He’s never going to admit it though. Maybe he’ll tease you endearingly about it, but that’s about it. There’s something about you that caught Dally’s eye and he knew he just had to have you all to himself.

° Dallas often prefers girls who are confident, headstrong and know what they want, even if they cuss him out in the process. Just take Sherri Valance for an example! She was having none of his crap and her feisty nature really sparked interest in him. So there has to be something personality-wise from you that he also feels he connects to. However, he also has no issue with being with someone who’s quieter and less confident, Dallas is going to make you feel like the luckiest and most breathtaking girl in the world when you’re with him. His louder nature will coax you to relax over time and you’ll start to blossom a little in confidence. He’s not looking to change you, just to get you to relax, because he finds you swell just the way that you are!

Steve Randle:

° In Steve’s books, he prefers individuals with a more masculine energy, regardless of whether they’re male or female. He’s not opposed to being with someone with a more feminine energy to them. It’s just that he really wants to be able to share his passion for both automobiles and sports with his partner. He’s kind of a dork like that.

° This teenage boy is most likely going to need someone who’s able to calm his highly intense energy down. He’s in a constant state of tension, itching to let out his emotions in often brutal ways such as fighting or drag racing. He’s hyperactive and finds it a challenge in itself to soothe that high energy he’s feeling most of the time. So someone who’s more grounding and calming is a sure way to help him unwind. Obviously, you’re not looking to change him because that’s not your job! It’s just that your aura tends to level out the high emotions that pulsate throughout his entire being at full throttle.

° Yet also, it’s very important for Steve to have a partner that he can also have fun with. Much like Soda, he enjoys participating in rodeos, drag races, attending parties, etc. Doing fun activities with his significant other helps them to bond with one another and creates particularly fond memories, this is also vital because it makes him want to be around his partner more. Family and home life is genuinely a drag for Steve, which is why he spends a lot of his time at the Curtis house. To have a partner that will also do spontaneous activities with him, it helps him move beyond his broken family life, and into a space where he can really flourish as a person.

° Once again, this young man will need someone who’s good at listening to him. He’s got a lot of daddy issues, considering he fights on nearly a daily basis with his father, getting kicked out too! This obviously creates a lot of anger inside him, which is why he’s so smart mouthed and quick to jump the gun and invest in a fist brawl, instead of talking things out with someone or letting it go. He feels that he needs to be tough in order for people to not only take him seriously, but also not to step on him. His father steps on him and his emotions too much which has erected a sturdy wall that he let’s few people through. It’s like his defense mechanism.

° This boy is going to love someone who smiles brightly at him. It’s cheesy I know, but there’s nothing better on this planet than his partner being happy. When you smile, all of his worries dissolve!

Two-bit Matthews:

° It’s a no brainer that Two-bit will flock to blondes. They’re his favorite! But what really makes him a sucker for someone is their ability to laugh right along with him. Yes, even at his crummy puns and terrible jokes! The sound of your laugh is genuine music to his ears, he’d do anything and everything to hear it a thousand times a day. The only time he enjoys you crying is when you’re crying of laughter.

° This boy is a bundle of the finest chaotic energy™ known to man, so he too will need someone more grounded to keep him down on the ground. Otherwise, he’d be on Mars by now! His partner would definitely teach him that it’s perfectly okay to feel other emotions that aren’t joy and excitement, and that it’s equally just as important to face those feelings.

° He strives to be with someone who is passionate about something. Anything really! He may not be the brainiest out of the bunch, but he’ll listen to you for hours on your passions. It makes him grin silly and honestly, he likes to at least attempt to learn some things about your interests. For him, a big passion of his is Mickey Mouse! He’ll talk to you about it for hours whilst he watches the television show with you.

° Two-bit also values honesty in relationships. Yes, he’s a grade A liar, but he feels crummy when he lies to his partner or is lied to by his partner. So he always does his utmost finest to ensure that he’s being as honest as possible. This is especially the case when a joke of his upsets you in any way, shape or form. If it goes too far then he wants to know. He can be a bit scatterbrained and may forget, but he wants you to be comfortable with and around him. He won’t settle for anything less.

Tim Shepard:

° Funnily enough, I believe that he would go for someone a lot softer than him since he likes the contrast. He’s all about that opposites attract trope, even sometimes his own gang have to bat their eyelids to make sure they weren’t imagining who they were seeing with their gang leader. They don’t necessarily have to be a goody-goody, just not as harsh as he is. It makes him hopeful in the world when he can bag someone kinder than him.

° Nevertheless, Tim wants to be with someone who has a mind of their own as well as having the capability to stand up for themselves. He loves protecting them, but he also wants to breathe easy when he’s not around you, comforted silently in the fact that you can handle your own. I mean, it’s a turn on for him when his partner can run their mouth, despite looking innocent. Like hands down, it’ll probably get him in the mood asap!

° Although Tim isn’t sold on expressing many emotions, he’s aware that they’re there, bubbling under the surface. So, Tim will definitely be with someone that he feels he is able to emotionally connect with. He doesn’t even have to vocalize this, it’s just something that he knows inside of his head and can feel when he’s around the person. It means that you’ve both got a strong connection together, which he’s not really got with many people in his life, considering how brutal his home-life really is.

° He also wants to be with someone who is trustworthy and honest. Tim doesn’t have the time to waste on two-timers. Usually when he settles into a relationship, it’s for the long term.

Curly Shepard:

° It’s canon that Curly Shepard isn’t the smartest kid out there in the world, so he probably seeks out someone who sees past that and can really get him as the person that genuinely cares deeply about him and wishes to get to know him. Because Curly is actually quite fun to be around, he’s always got some sort of idea to kill the time!

° In all honesty, Curly’s going to be most attracted to an individual that will be prepared to cause at least a little bit of trouble with him. You’re usually the one who ensures that you both don’t get caught. The whole experience is such a rush that you’re both grinning widely at each other afterwards.

° He’s most likely going to go for someone more extroverted or at least someone who is an ambivert as Curly would have a challenging time when it comes down to understanding someone who’s more introverted and shy. It’s not to say he wouldn’t like them, he just will assume that they’re quiet and withdrawn because they don’t like him, even if they do. But he definitely doesn’t think that there’s anything wrong with introverts! I mean, Ponyboy Curtis is one of his good buddies, after all.

° Curly is quite spontaneous himself, enjoying it when he switches things up. He becomes bored with little effort, so he needs to keep himself busy, and what better way to do that when he can cause all sorts of trouble! You low-key do have to remind him that climbing a telephone pole again would result in another broken arm, but he does it anyway!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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The show currently on had a bunch of stuffed shirts sitting at a round table. ["...my esteemed colleague, Professor Newell, gives too much credence to the ex-Avengers' education. I simply don't believe they all read and fully comprehended the document they were rejecting. Steve Rogers had a high school diploma and one year of art college."] Steve curled his lip. ["That doesn't mean he's illiterate," Newell, a brown-haired man with glasses, said. The other man, his tight coils of hair salt and pepper gray, raised an eyebrow. "As a lawyer, I'd be the first to say legal documents are needlessly complex, but no lay person can just sit down and read a 1000-page legal agreement and absorb the intricacies with nothing more than a high school education from the 1940s. Not without help." Newell ceded the point with a nod. "And Wanda Maximoff is a street orphan and doesn't even have that. Ditto Clint Barton, who grew up in a traveling circus. The Ant Man has an engineering degree, which makes me think he would have ample education to comprehend the Accords, but he had little time to do it in—only the flight to Germany, and investigators say he was likely shrunk and in Clint Barton's pocket, as there's no evidence of him on the passenger list, but he suddenly appeared at the Leipzig/Halle airport. It's questionable he bothered to shrink the Accords with him or bring the necessary resources to decipher all the legalese."] Scott got up and left the room. Wanda curled up and hugged her knees to her chest. Steve remembered the hasty conversation he'd had with Scott before the battle. Scott had no idea about the Accords back then. He thought they were there to fight over killer assassins. Steve rubbed his forehead. ["That leaves only Sergeant Sam Wilson, a man well-educated by the armed forces. I wondered what made him reject a document that his own government and one hundred and sixteen other countries supported, and then I read up on Lieutenant General Ross' record. Any man who has served in the military and heard of Ross' abuse of his own forces and how he used his own daughter as bait in pursuit of The Hulk would have zero respect for the retired general and Secretary of State. Ross was spearheading the US support of the Accords. Whether or not this influenced Sergeant Wilson's decision to reject them, I cannot say."] "This is bullshit," Clint said, obviously fuming. "I didn't need some stupid diploma to tell me the Accords are a shitty idea." ["You haven't said anything about the Black Widow," the moderator said, shifting his papers around on the big desk. "Ms. Romanov is an interesting case. Raised and educated by the top-secret Soviet training program called the Red Room, the Black Widow supported the Accords at first. She appeared to recognize their necessity, but then during the fight at the airport seemed to run into an issue of allegiance in fighting her friends. Understandable, I think. It's why the Avengers should never have been sent to contain the renegades. But who else could battle that sort of might? "In any event, it appears to be no coincidence that the Avengers who sided with the Accords all have master's degrees or higher." "Or much higher," the mediator said, abandoning neutrality. "Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes as a master's in engineering as well as officer's training, Stark has multiple doctorates, and the Vision is said to have access to the sum of all human knowledge. The King of Wakanda obviously has the finest political education as a leader of his nation, and I understand he is also an engineer." "Nothing is known about the Spider-Man," Newell said. "No, that's true. He'll have to remain an enigma." "But it's your contention that education had something to do with renegades choosing not to support the Accords," the mediator said. "I think it's obvious."] *** ["Hello, all. Thank you for time. "As Mr. Sjöberg mentioned, I recently came into some information regarding The Winter Soldier that I felt was of international importance, especially since he had the protection of some very powerful people. The ICC is just the place to turn when the State is unable or unwilling to carry out an investigation and prosecute the perpetrators."] Steve drew in a shocked breath. ["I found this information at a Hydra bunker in Siberia, where Rogers, Barnes and I had an altercation about whether suppressing this information was cool or not." Stark gave an acid grin. "In the course of this disagreement, Rogers disabled my suit and left me in the Hydra bunker to freeze, unable to radio a rescue team."] Sam sank his head into his hands with a curse. ["However, Rogers' 'leave our teammates behind' policy turned out to be useful, because while searching for a way to communicate with my rescue team, I discovered a trove of records spanning back decades on the Hydra supersoldier program. I looked through all of it, hoping to save it and get retrieved before Hydra returned. "What I discovered was more than enough: movies, photos, and detailed plans to assassinate political heads of state, industrial leaders, diplomats, prominent artists, radical leaders and activists, all of whom were murdered by The Winter Soldier. Included in these documents were the names of the ones who ordered the kills, the criminals behind the deeds. For the last three weeks, with the assistance of the Joint Terrorism Task Force, that's what we've been up to—rounding up the bad guys with a vengeance." The murmurs grew into a roar of approval. "Most of the Hydra operatives still living have been arrested for their complicity in murdering countless important figures who stood against Hydra's core principles of racism and fascism. Despite the unnecessary delay introduced by Rogers, who could have put us onto Barnes and thus the location of the bunker that much sooner, the loved ones and family members of the deceased will at long last know, and hopefully find peace in knowing, just what happened to their loved ones, and why."] Tony's voice trembled on the last part, and Steve felt a pit growing in his stomach that he couldn't shake off. ["My only regret is whom I have to thank for this. The man behind the Vienna bombing was the one who revealed the truth to me by showing me the video of my parents being murdered by The Winter Soldier. The man who told me the truth is a criminal. But then, the man who kept the truth from us all is a criminal as well. "Thank you all for listening. There will be no questions."] *** Tony lifted his hand and smacked away the letter he was writing as Rhodey walked in. "Sour patch! Look at you. How're the legs feeling?" "Better now that I tweaked the timing on the left one. Feels more natural now. But, Tony..." "Awesome. You should totally patent that port thing. That was really good work." Tony pulled up the schematics of Rhodey's braces to take a look at the timing adjustment port Rhodey had added. "I don't have time for—that's not why I came in here, Tones. Vision got a call—" "Time, shmime. I'll have Friday draft up the diagrams and application for you." "It would be my pleasure, Colonel Rhodes." "Yes, fine. Thanks, Fri. Tones, listen. Something's happened with the renegades." Tony stopped fiddling and gave Rhodey his full attention. "Tell me." "It's weird as hell." Rhodey dropped onto a lab stool and rolled over to join him. "Wanda contacted Vision to tell him she delivered Rogers to the US Embassy in Nairobi. I checked, and sure enough, according to embassy officials, she made him walk in like a zombie, then directed him to 'Wait here until Tony Stark comes to arrest you.'"

Into the Weeds by truet

This is literally the best Team Iron Man fic I read till now, and it includes all the things I missed from the other ones: acknowledgment of Rhodey’s smarts, acknowledgment of the education Rogues had, acknowledgment that Wanda may actually get angry at Steve when she learns what he did and what it means to her, acknowledgment that Hydra agents who ordered the murders should be arrested, acknowledgment of Tony relying on other people to actually accomplish or polish the things he engages with (JCCT, braces).

The only thing it doesn’t have is acknowledgment that Shuri doesn’t need BARF to help Barnes, but it’s only because the fact that the story never reaches that point, but damn, so many Team Iron Man fics mistreats other charas and I know it is not malicious, that it is because the authors love Tony and want him to fix the issues himself, but Tony isn’t omnipotent god of science and I would like people to get that Shuri is as mart as he is and can definitely handle helping Barnes and making his arm without Tony’s help, as much as Rhodey can fix his braces and doesn’t need Tony to constantly do it for him, because he has proper education to handle that, and also he is the user, so he knows best what is wrong and what is right and what works.

I also tend to like the stories which don’t demonize Wanda more than the ones which do, because I think she was radicalized, but not evil and those stories, where she is an evil Hydra agent or actually went mad long ago and nobody noticed, as much as interesting and enjoyable don’t really get what it means to be radicalized and then trying to de-radicalize and also heavily fall into the trap of demonizing a woman in the same way misogynist media creators usually do and the only thing I can blame is the fact that we all are raised in the society which hates women and even if we don’t actively believe in it some of it stays with us, in our subconscious and affects what we write and how. Everybody is capable of evil as long as they believe something very much and Wanda is more prone to that due to her background. Not to mention that those stories also usually infantilize her and I like to see her actually being treated like an adult she always was, who understands the consequences of Steve’s action for her and who would do something, albeit something stupid mind you, to mitigate her case, because she is an adult, and she like any other adult person would want to help her case somehow.

Oh, and author also knows how the whole “who arrests who” system works, so their stories actually show that nobody in the MCU creator board of creators, including the Russos, does a goddamn research about Europe. Most people don’t have this knowledge, so movies don’t seem off to them, but to people who do have this knowledge movies are weird and illogical.