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wavesmp3 · 3 years

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[ksw] clouds

sunwoo x reader

wc. 5k warnings: medical inaccuracies, death, illness, hospitals, overall just a pretty heavy piece genre can only be described as an absolute mess inspired mainly by san junipero but also slightly by charlie kaufman and wong kar wai

a/n: this is supposed to be told nonlinearly but like the creation of it was very messy so i have no clue if it actually worked, so good luck trying to make this piece make sense of this :)

act iii. scene iii.

Sunwoo sits and watches the sun shift from pink and blue to an impossible shade of green. And it’s then he knows that without a doubt Clara has ruined the color green for him. Because instead of marveling at the color of the sky, Sunwoo is reminded of the doors in her apartment building.

“Thought I might find you here.” The voice of a stranger who Sunwoo loved once upon a time says behind him. He tries like hell not to turn around. Not to lean back towards the voice and wait for your hand on his shoulder or your shin knocking familiarly against his back. He focuses on the waves crashing below instead. The roar of the water beneath him is deafening, but only if you let it be. He does, and he almost forgets that you’re behind him.

“Where’d you go?” You ask, now sitting next to him, tugging at the long grass.

“I’m right here.”

“And what about in there?” You bring a finger up and poke at the side of his forehead.

He turns to you, facing you in full. He takes in your features like it’s the first time all over again. And, oh, he wishes he knew before how many firsts you already had together. This is just another. This is just the first time he’s seen you in the past six months and remembered the thousands of times he’s seen your face before.

He studied your cheeks. The one he now recalls running the back of his palm over after you left for the Cloud.

He memorizes, for the millionth time, your eyes. He used to swear they were darker than they are, but then he saw them in the sun. He was dying back then; then he saw your eyes and you saved him. Just like that.

Mr. Choi was right of course. As he always must be. You and him are like an old married couple. Not like. You are. Almost were.

“I had lunch with Mr. Choi today.” He tells you.

You squint at him. “I know. It’s Thursday.” You pull out a piece of the grass. “What’d he make?”

“Ramen.”

“Was it good?”

“It was okay.”

“Too spicy?”

Suwnoo answers with a sigh, looking away from you and back towards the water. The deafening waves crash against the cliffside. “I know you looked at your file.” He finally says. You stop pulling at the grass. You still. “Mr. Choi told me.”

After he says it, there’s a silence that isn’t actually silent at all. The waves rage below his feet. The seagulls are there too, beneath, above, somewhere, everywhere. And then, of course, there’s you and Sunwoo, trying to be silent over the static in your heads and the machines you’re hooked up to in a universe far far away.

“Did he tell you about my file?”

He looks at you again. “No.”

“Oh.” You look away, brows furrowed, lick your lips, and then turn back to him. “So why are you upset?”

“After he told me, I went and I…”

“You didn’t.”

“I looked at mine.”

There’s another silence, except that this time it really is quiet. Sunwoo read once whilst in a rabbit hole of medical research that true silence only happens in a vacuum, where there is no medium for sound waves to travel through. This must be that. This place, the files, Mr. Choi and Mr. Chan, Clara and her apartment building full of green doors--it’s a vacuum. And they stick people in it then call it the Cloud. They call it extra time. But it isn’t. It’s nothing and he’s stuck in the middle of it. So Sunwo stares at you, straight through the vacuum of time and space you’re both lost in, waits for you to say something, and then waits for himself to hear it.

“You looked?” You finally say, voice folding in on itself.

“Yes.” Sunwoo’s own voice is barely there. You must be reading his lips which you’ve always been good at anyways.

“So you know now?”

“I always knew, and now, I remember.”

act i. scene iv.

There’s been an accident.

That’s what they say when the sun falls out of the sky and the world starts spinning in the wrong direction. It’s how they show up at Sunwoo’s door painted in shades of blue and red, with authority in their arms and hands on their hips. How they prepare him for the looming moment where they rip past his skin, blood, bone to shoot a gun straight at his heart. I’m so sorry for your loss, they say leaving him with a bullet lodged somewhere between his left and right atrium.

And those are the four words that play over and over and over in Sunwoo’s head as he gets to the hospital. Those are the words that crawl inside his open chest and turn him blue and black with infection. There’s been an accident, he remembers, staring at the extraordinary measures taken to keep your heart beating and lungs beating. This is it. Except that the accident isn’t that you’re dying, but that you’re dying. It’s always supposed to have been him. He’s supposed to be the one stuffed with tubes and hooked up to monitors, the one whose life is hanging on by a thread, and you’re supposed to be the one that saves him. It all feels like a play that’s gone horribly wrong because everyone switched parts after intermission without telling him. At what point did you steal the role of dying protagonist from him?

We did everything we could, a stranger in a white coat says. Except that it’s not some stranger, it’s your colleague and co-worker because this is the hospital you work at and the hospital Sunwoo met you in. There was too much damage to the brain, they explain as the image of their tear-stricken face goes from your friend during intern year to the doctor who operated on you as your brain went dead.

“We have two options, right?” Sunwoo is far too familiar with surgery and all this. He knows from his hospital days what’s supposed to happen next. But apparently, things have changed since then.

“Actually, there’s a third option.”

Sunwoo doesn’t waste a second. He jumps out of the chair stained red from his bleeding heart and asks: “What is it?”

“We can upload them.”

act iii. scene ii.

In fifty days of living in the cloud, Sunwoo has learned all about the people that he shares a building with. There’s Mr. Chan who lives behind a vomit green on the same floor as him and who hasn’t left his room since last January. There’s also Mr. Choi, who lives behind the emerald door and invites Suwoo over for lunch every Thursday. Clara lives upstairs, where the walls are painted in various shades of green--olive, seaweed, moss, hunter, shamrock, sage, and others that Sunwoo tries not to think too deeply about. He’s only met Clara once in the past fifty days and has no particular wish to see her again. He hadn’t expected her to be a kid. Cancer, you told him after their introduction in the lobby, poor girl was only seven. As said before, Sunwoo tries not to think about it.

And then of course there’s you behind the forest green door who has been slowly showing him all the good places. There’s the beach where you spent the day making seashell necklaces. The cafe which serves its tea too sweet for him, but sweet enough to be considered your favorite. Sunwoo just gets the chocolate bread. You took him downtown. To a club. The tallest building. And to midtown where the amusement park is.

But his favorite place you’ve taken him so far is the cliffside above the beach, where the waves crash against the rocks in a way that can only be described as violent. That day you and him laid in the grass and stared at the clouds with your heads dangling just over the edge and water spraying the backs of your necks. That day you turned to him and told him you’re sorry. For what, he asked. I’m so sorry you’re sick, you said, but it’s nice to have you around here. I think in a sense, we’ve both been waiting for this. Then, you smiled and stole all of the blood from his body. So yeah, that day, that place--it’s his favorite.

Today, you take him on a hike up a mountain.

“Do you believe in an afterlife?” You ask him after having spent thirty minutes silently staring at the view from the best peak.

“One after this?”

“Yeah. I guess. Although, I’m not so convinced this counts.”

“I don’t know.” Sunwoo shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Do you think we’d be able to be with our loved ones in it?”

His chest lurches. “If there is one, yes.”

“Do you think it’ll be different than this?”

Sunwoo turns to you finally. “Why are you asking about this?”

You shake your head. “Nevermind. It’s a stupid question.”

He turns back towards the view. From here, he can make out Clara’s building. He thinks about her, about Mr. Choi and Mr. Chan, who he recently found out were once married but who haven’t spoken since Mr. Chan read his file in January, and he thinks about you and about him.

“I think,” Sunwoo says, loud enough so that you can hear after wandering a little bit away from him, “that whatever the afterlife is, if it does exist, it’ll be worth it.”

You turn to him, but don’t make any move to come near him again. “And if it doesn’t exist?”

“Then life will have been worth it.”

The corner of your lip lifts. “I like that.”

Sunwoo only nods at the sentiment, and after a long while, he builds enough courage to ask, “you’ve been here a really long time, haven’t you?”

“Time doesn't work as linearly in the cloud as it does in the real world. Sometimes it feels like I got here and then you arrived the very next day.” You turn back towards the view and exhale heavily.

“But yes. I’ve been here for an eternity.”

act ii. scene i.

Before he actually sees you, Sunwoo feels you. Not you, in particular, but something in the distance, a presence in the corner of the room and a pair of eyes watching him from somewhere far away.

The scariest part is how much the feeling doesn’t actually scare him.

Two days after that, he starts to see you in the flesh. He tells himself that his mind is playing tricks on him, that the person he saw in the produce aisle wasn’t actually you at all and was just a stranger with the same hair.

He doesn’t go straight home from the store that day. Instead, he stops by the hospital and checks in on you, but even that doesn’t do anything about the fact that he sees a shadow of you behind the bed.

The day after that, you speak to him. Standing in the middle of his kitchen in broad daylight, you speak, you say hello, and the first thing Sunwoo thinks is that he’s dead.

You aren’t, you reply. You’re a zombie, he reasons, here for my brain. I’m not. A ghost. No. Are you, here Sunwoo falters, fear flooding out of his body to make room for the briefest blotch of hope that’s crushed almost immediately by you saying: I’m not alive, Sunwoo. You saw me in the hospital yesterday.

“So then,” he swallows, “what are you?”

I’m here. You look at him, stare at his face and without a sliver of doubt say, I’m here for you.

Sunwoo knows it’s impossible. You can’t be here. You can’t. And yet, you are.

Three years ago Sunwoo was told he had three months left to live, and he still remembers how impossibly you saved him from the brink of death. He remembers how impossible things happen all the time, and how impossibly possible it is that this is one of them. He steps towards you, touches your face, and feels the real, impossible thing against his hand.

“You’re here.”

On the fifth day of your haunting, Sunwoo finally has the sense to ask why.

Why what?

“Why are you here?”

I’m here for you.

“Stop saying that.”

But I am, you tell him. You asked, and that’s the answer. I’m a doctor, Sunwoo. I’m here for you.

Then, finally, he hears what you’ve been saying for the past five days. You’re here for him.

And the thing about doctors is that they’re there for you when you need them.

“I’m sick.”

Yes, you answer quietly, although it wasn’t a question.

“Again.”

I’m so sorry.

“You’re a hallucination, aren’t you?” Sunwoo’s shocked by how sad that makes him, how disappointing it is. “I’ve been hallucinating.”

Find me in the Cloud, Sunwoo. There’s something I want to say.

You’re gone by the time he gets to the hospital.

act iii. scene i.

Sunwoo stares at the hall of green doors, eyes darting from door to door in an attempt to stare down the shades until they confess which one of them is tea green.

“Clara, the landlord, likes colors.” A voice says from behind him. “Every couple of months she repaints all of the doors in different shades of the same one. Before the green, it was yellow.”

Sunwoo turns around to face you. When your eyes find him, they go blank for the smallest of moments. You give him a look that goes right through him, turning him inside out like you’ve seen the underside of his skin. It irks him.

“I’m Sunwoo. I’m new.”

You gulp. “You’re here.” He doesn’t know what to make of the statement. Do all people in the cloud act like this? “Why?”

Sunwoo nods, maybe you’re not so weird as much as you just have a weird way of posing questions. “I was told I’m sick.”

“I’m sorry.” You say, frowning like you actually might feel back for him.

“Have you been here a while then?” You nod. “Can I ask how long?” You shake your head. Sunwoo doesn’t think too much about it. Instead, he returns your earlier question “Why are you here?”

“Brain dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

You ignore it and point to a door down the hall. “I’m forest green. You?”

“Tea green. But I can’t find-”

You tap the door in front of him. “This one, genius.”

“Oh.” He laughs awkwardly. “Thanks.”

Your mouth parts as if to say something, and your face goes blank again. He feels his skin turning itself inside out because of it. “Have you read your file yet?”

He shakes his head. “I just got here.”

You inhale, softening, and mutter an ‘okay’. You continue down the hall towards your door. Sunwoo is stuck in place. “I can show you around here, if you like. Take you to all the cool places.”

Sunwoo takes you up on it.

A forest green door slams shut down the hallway.

act i. scene ii.

“Thank you for taking me out of the hospital.” Sunwoo says, exhaling. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to a park like this.”

And it’s true, he really can’t. He’s been sick for so long now, and has been through a multitude of treatment plans and too many surgeries. When you’re sick and have 9 surgeons turn you down after asking them to save your life, you forget the joy of being outside and feeling the sun on your skin. You were the first doctor to agree to the surgery. You’re the only doctor to have ever treated Sunwoo like he wasn’t dying, like he was actually going to live.

“You don’t have to thank me. This is good for me too.” You say, head resting against the park bench and eyes closed.

Sunwoo inhales, taking in the park with all his senses. A visceral sort of thing you learn to do as often as possible when you’ve been as close to death as frequently as he has. He feels the wood beneath his body and the grass beneath his feet. He feels the light on his skin and the wind pushing against his arms and nose. He listens to the kids screaming at the playground at the bottom of the hill and to the dogs barking within the dog park beside it. He takes all this in, relishes in it for the last time as a dying person.

You sigh. “One more surgery.”

“And then I’ll be done with this sickness.”

You smile. He pretends not to see. “And then you’ll be done.”

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“Don’t do that.”

“No. Seriously.”

You smile again, this time at him. Sunwoo doesn’t have to pretend not to see. “I haven’t finished saving it yet.”

He leans back against the bench and closes his eyes. “But you will.”

You tap on your coffee cup. “Honestly though, you did more work than me.” Sunwoo frowns while you take a sip. “The other nine doctors you called are good doctors, and they made the same judgement call I would have made for any other patient. No sane doctor would have agreed to treat you. But you were the reason I said yes. You had such faith that you were going to live and so much faith that I could do it that I believed you. I might be the one doing the technical saving, but you, Sunwoo, you’re the one who convinced me to do it. You saved yourself.”

He stares at you. The light hits your eyes like it’s finding a way to break through them. In truth, before Sunwoo got sick, he didn’t think he was scared of death, but he is. He’s terrified of it. Sunwoo realized it two weeks after his diagnosis and the day after he was wrongly told he only had three more months left to live. But now, for the first time since he was diagnosed, he doesn't feel so afraid of it. Despite how far he’s come and how close he is to beating this fucking illness, while staring at the light woven through your eyes, Sunwoo thinks he could live with himself if he dropped dead tonight.

That thought alone, is almost as terrifying as death used to be.

act iii. scene v.

“I saw your ghost, you know.” It’s the first thing Sunwoo has said to you in over two weeks. “It wasn’t actually you though, was it?” You don’t even bother looking up from your cup of tea. Through the silence, Sunwoo orders a coffee.

“I didn’t know that.” The coffee turns lukewarm. “It wasn’t me.” You push an uneaten half of chocolate bread towards him. “It’s in your brain this time. Symptoms can include hallucinations.”

“Think you can still save me?” You can’t. If you know that much, you know he’s out of medical miracles, and that this time, he really won’t survive it. But it’s a joke. And you laugh at it.

“Definitely not. I never really liked neurosurgery.”

And all at once, he’s painfully aware of your friend somewhere in the real world that does like it but watched anyways as your brain died before her, split wide open.

“Anyways, how do you know all of this?” But what Sunwoo really wants to say is brains are killer. Literally. Figuratively.

“I’ve known since we...“ you hesitate, mouth stuck halfway through a word he can’t place. “After last time, I read your chart and looked at your scans.” Sunwoo nods. He expected as much. He doesn’t ask how you got them. “I’m sorry you're sick again.” You say to him quietly. “I’m sorry you’re dying.”

“I’m sorry you’re dead.” As soon as the words have left his mouth, he regrets them. Because you aren’t. And he knows you too well to think you’d look past the technicality.

You scoff, shake your head slightly, and with a spiteful smile say, “Can I say it?”

Sunwoo only sighs. “Let’s start over instead.”

You nod. He pushes the chocolate bread back.

act iii. scene iv.

Mr. Choi was the one to recommend that Sunwoo give you and himself space. It’s been a month since you and him last spoke, since that moment hovering above the waves after he read his file and after he found out you read yours. He misses you, and has been for so long now. Mr. Choi was wrong. Sunwoo’s standing outside your forest green door to prove it.

You open the door before he can knock. There’s no shock in your voice when you say his name, like you’ve been waiting for this day, expecting it.

He looks behind you, at your apartment in Clara’s building that looks just like your apartment in the real world. The same one he cleaned out after you died, still filled with things he gave to your family or donated or took back to his place. He wants to crumble just looking at it again. “Can I come in?”

“It’s only been a month.”

And he knows what you mean by it. Three months is the recommended time off after reading one’s file. To reacclimate, they say, to process. But the insinuation that Sunwoo was supposed to go three months without seeing you makes him feel sick. The insinuation that after a year of being without you in the real world he was supposed to be without you here too, enrages him. Then he remembers how long you’ve been here, and how long you’ve been doing this and feels slightly murderous.

All he says is: “It’s been a lot longer than that for you.”

Your lip twitches. You lock and unlock the open forest green door five times before saying, “Are you sure?”

He nods. You let him in.

Sunwoo used to imagine what it would be like to meet you again in the Cloud one day. He imagined tears and hugs and kisses. He imagined i love you’s and i hate you’s and i miss you. He imagined the scenario more times than can possibly be considered healthy. But he imagined something. He was waiting for the day. Waiting for this day. But this moment, sitting at your round wood table while you boil water for tea, is nothing like the million different ways he imagined seeing you again.

And as you set down two mismatched mugs and take the seat across from him, he doesn’t even try to create one of them. “How long has it been since you read your file?”

You watch the steam rise from your tea for a long moment, then stand, grab the sugar and pour a spoonful of it into your tea. You take another spoonful and look at him expectantly. “Want some?” He nods, and you pour the sugar into his. You stir the tea then taste, then cringe, then add more sugar and then ask if he wants it. He refuses. You stir again. Sunwoo watches the whirlpool and waits the eternity it takes you to say: “I read it on my first day.”

You put the sugar away, satisfied with the tea’s sweetness while Sunwoo marvels at how long you’ve known and how silently you’ve been carrying the knowledge of you and him since he came. And that knowledge is what makes him finally remember one of the reasons he came. “Is there something you want to tell me?” You look up at him when he asks it, exhaling like you’ve been wanting to bring it up for so long now, which Sunwoo guesses isn’t as much of a simile as he thinks it is.

“Yes, actually. I…” you hesitate, flicking the mug as if the right words will come hopping out of the tea. Sunwoo watches for it. “I’ve just been here for a long time now, Sunwoo.”

“Two years isn’t that long.”

“Time doesn’t work the same here as it does down there.” You tell him tiredly. “It’s been decades.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“In the beginning, I didn’t mind the waiting. I knew you were on your way, but I just,” you hesitate, “I didn’t think it’d take so long for you to come back to me.”

Sunwoo covers your hand with his. “I’m sorry.” You twist your palm into it, squeeze, then pull your hand away. Sunwoo swallows. “I came as fast as I could.”

“I know. I waited.”

“Do you regret it?” Sunwoo’s terrified of what the answer might be.

You don’t give it. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then?”

“I’ve been here for so long, and,” your head drops, voice breaking under the weight it carries, “it’s been so lonely.”

“But I’m here now.” Sunwoo says, leaning forward against the table. “You aren’t alone anymore.”

“I know you’re here. I know, and I thought that would fix it, but it didn’t. Seeing you in the hall that day was so bittersweet, because you were here but that also meant you were somewhere else dying. Because you were here and I still felt lonely.” You stop, chugg the remaining bits of your tea, and then wipe your cheeks. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

“No.” But it’s a lie. He does get it. He knows all about loneliness and the way it creeps inside, so slyly. The way it starts small and then grows, feeding on negligence, until it's too big for your body. He knows how it sits inside you, for all its enormity, and spills into everything. He knows how it lingers. How it has nothing to do with people or lack of them and everything to do with grief. Sunwoo knows all about loneliness. The day he read his file he felt a dam of it burst open within him.

“I’m saying that in the real world I saved you, and now it’s your turn to save me.” You gulp. “I’m saying that I want you to unplug me.”

It takes a moment for Sunwoo to even register what you’ve said, but when he does remember the life support that’s keeping your body alive somewhere in a universe far away, he doesn’t say anything. He just stands and walks out of your apartment.

act i. scene iii.

“Doctor, please present.” The attending announces, stepping into Sunwoo’s room for rounds.

“Mr. Kim,” a resident starts, flipping open his chart, “was diagnosed 14 months ago and has gone through several different treatment plans. When he came to us, the illness had spread and was deemed inoperable and untreatable by several other physicians. Our treatment plan was aggressive and grueling but ultimately, effective. Sunwoo is 20 days post op from his third and final surgery. The surgery went extremely well with no complications and his vitals were excellent. He has been a model patient all throughout recovery, and according to our latest scans, he is also now illness free…”

Sunwoo doesn’t even bother listening to the rest.

“So, now that I’m no longer a patient, if I ask you out on a date, will you actually say yes?”

“Well,” you say, signing his discharge papers, “only one way to know.”

“What is it?”

You look up at him, smiling. “Ask me again.”

He does.

You say yes.

act iii. scene v. take ii.

“I saw your ghost.” The first thing Sunwoo says after the last failed attempt.

You look up from your tea. “It wasn’t me.”

“I know.” Sunwoo orders another coffee. “But the hallucination was how I knew I was sick again. It made me feel like you were trying to warn me, like you were up here somewhere caring from a distance. Right after I pieced it all together you told me to find you here and that there was something you wanted to say.” The coffee turns lukewarm again. Sunwoo can’t bring himself to say it. You sigh and push the same piece of chocolate bread back towards him. This time, he takes a bite from it. And with a mouthful of chocolate bread, he cries, “I just got you back, and now you want to leave all over again.”

You frown. “I didn’t want to leave the first time, and it’s different now.”

“How?”

“I want to go. Isn’t that worth something?”

“And what about what I want?”

“Oh, Sunwoo,” you say, “I’m sorry you’re sick. The hallucination was you and your head, but for what it’s worth, I have been up here caring from a distance. I still…” you don’t need to say the words. He knows. He never had to doubt it. “I never stopped.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked of me.” Sunwoo tells you. He made the decision last week but today, right now, with your confession still falling through the air, is the first time he’s had the stomach to swallow it. “And I’ll do it. I will. I just need some time. You’ve had so long and in comparison I’ve had nothing.”

“Okay.” You say simply.

“How long can you give me?”

You smile. “You know I’d give you an eternity if you asked for it.”

“I’m scared.” Sunwoo confesses then. “I know it’s what you want, but selfishly, I don’t want to let you again. I don’t know if I’m a big enough person to do it.”

“I do.” You say to him, leaning forward against the table and looking straight through him. “I know because I was your doctor. I have cut inside your body, seen all your organs, and during surgery two, I held your heart in my hands. I felt it beating. So I know exactly how big it is, and I know it’s big enough for this”

Sunwoo feels the heart you worked so hard to repair bursting inside of him.

“God. Why’d you have to read your file so soon?”

You laugh. “I missed you. I couldn’t help it.”

And just like that, you’ve stolen the entire concept of fear from him.

“I’m ready.”

“What?”

He looks at you and feels the loneliness slither away.

“Ask me again.”

#sunwoo x reader #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo fanfic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #mine #*clouds

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purplepenntapus · 3 years

Text

Rating Versions of Harry Osborn: Updated

Wanted to redo this post with a more comprehensive and inclusive list of Harrys

616 Comics:

Just such a good and complex character. The OG Harry. His relationship with Peter just adds so much depth to every Green Goblin arc because of the inherent conflict of Peter knowing he needs to take down Norman Osborn, but not wanting to hurt or lose his best friend. (If you’ve read Kindred no you haven’t.) He’s still... ugly... I’m sorry 616 Harry... I love you so much but they did you dirty... Some artists do their best with what they have but... I’m not a big fan of western comic style in general so that doesn’t help. Has three failed marriages by the time he’s 30 because he’s gay and deeply closeted. 8/10

Spider-Man the Animated Series (1994):

The Harry plotline in this show reeeeally doesn’t feel earned, because the first time we see Harry having an active role in the show, he asks Peter to move in with him because Norman wants him to have a responsible studious roommate (a detail from the comics I was EXTREMELY excited to see play out), and Peter comments that they barely know each other. Ultimately they live together for all of one day before Peter decides to move back in with Aunt May. The next time we see Harry, MJ calls him Peter’s best friend, despite the fact that we haven’t seen Peter hanging out with—or even MENTIONING—Harry since the last episode when they were basically strangers. Really it feels like he’s just there to cause romantic drama as the guy MJ graciously settles for when she gives up on Peter. I found the whole goblin plotline kind of boring and lacking in depth. 3/10

Raimi Trilogy:

I was never interested in Raimi Harry until after I started liking and exploring other versions of Harry, because I just thought he was kinda a shit friend. He’s a pretty strong character overall, but his motivations aren’t as obvious. He’s torn between his love of Peter as his best friend, and his bitterness towards Peter for being the man his father wished he was. I don’t think Raimi Harry really wanted MJ, he just wanted to get back at Peter in a way by taking someone that HE loved. However I feel like his characterization kind of sways back and forth between sympathetic and not depending on how he’s written in the scene, and it disappoints me that the thing that gets him to stop tormenting Peter is the butler telling him out of nowhere that Norman died from his own blade, rather than any real character development on his part. 6/10

Spectacular Spider-Man:

I still haven’t watched all of this show because I... can’t STAND this version of Peter... but I’ve watched many clips with this boy and he’s just... so sweet... He only wants to be loved and keeps getting his heart broken. Deserves better. On everything. He deserves a better father, a better best friend, better love interests, everything. I do really enjoy the way they incorporated 616 Harry’s drug abuse into this show with the Globulin Green, it was a very clever way to incorporate that aspect of his character, but tone it down for younger viewers. I’ve watched the scene of him getting “unmasked” as the Green Goblin about a million times it’s very good. 8/10

Ultimate Spider-Man:

I love him. Most people fear drifting apart from those close to us, so watching Harry struggle with the new and increasing distance between him and Peter as Peter seemingly makes new, “better” friends is downright heartbreaking. Especially when he overhears Sam implying that Peter only hangs out with him for his money which is something he’s clearly experienced a lot. (Seriously Sam what the fuck.) I also love his struggle with Venom throughout the series as a metaphor for his anger and bitterness, it’s never truly gone even when they work hard to remove it. It’s always there to bubble back up under extreme amounts of stress, especially when Norman is involved. (Also this isn’t a Norman review, but USM Norman is the only version of Norman Osborn that has rights and he works hard to be the father Harry deserves.) Had an honest to God meet-cute with Peter like come on???? Its unfortunate how much they cut back Harry’s role in the third and fourth season, I really would have loved to see more of him. Threw a party specifically so he could ignore Peter to his face because he was jealous and I respect that level of pettiness. 9/10

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series

I didn’t think it was possible to create an uglier Harry than 90s Harry but this blonde, fuck-boy lookin creepass came and proved me wrong. Who the FUCK is this?? Doesn’t have any recognizable characteristics of Harry Osborn besides being rich and hating Spider-Man. Also just... look at him. I wouldn’t trust this man anywhere NEAR my drink at a party. #NotMySon -3/10

The Amazing Spider-Man:

He’s okay. I think he has some very emotional scenes and good chemistry with Peter, but it’s dampened by the fact that he wasn’t present in the first film and had to share the second with like two other main plot lines. Ultimately ends up being the least sympathetic version of Harry Osborn because he became the original Green Goblin and killed Gwen, rather than following in his father’s footsteps. That’s not to say he’s a completely unsympathetic character. He has a strong motivator in his fear of death, and I do think the choice they made for his character were interesting and could have developed really well, but they didn’t get the chance since the franchise was dropped. 5/10

PS4 Spider-Man:

ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM. WISH WE GOT MORE OF HIM. HAVING YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF HARRY OSBORN BROKEN AS YOU SNEAK AROUND NORMAN’S PENTHOUSE AND LEARN THAT HE’S BEEN SECRETLY STRUGGLING WITH A GENETIC DISEASE HE’S BEEN HIDING FROM HIS BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS WAS -chef’s kiss- GENIUS. PLEASE GIVE US A SECOND GAME WITH VENOM HARRY. 10/10

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2017):

Still easily my favorite version of Harry Osborn. When I first began watching the show I was startled by their decision to make Harry a science genius like Peter because it was so different from their usual dynamic, and many people who aren’t fans of the show point to this as something they dislike. But I actually ended up really loving the decision. It gives a different flavor to Harry in how he reacts to the events of the show and how we interpret his character traits, while still being very inherently Harry Osborn. Harry is jealous of Peter, he loves him dearly, but there’s always this ember of bitter envy ready to burst into anger whenever the plot creates friction between them. This is one of the defining traits of their relationship and in most versions it’s not hard to understand why. Peter has what Harry wants. He’s intelligent, he has potential, and most importantly he’s loved. Peter is the son Harry knows Norman wishes he had, and that creates a wedge between them. Marvel’s Spider-Man changes this dynamic. Harry can easily stand toe-to-toe with Peter in terms of intelligence, and in fact they often work together to create things or solutions Peter couldn’t have come up with on his own. That initial wedge between them isn’t there, creating a very endearing and loving friendship that we know is doomed to sour because it isn’t enough. MSM Harry could be the person Norman wants him to be, and that places the full weight of his father’s impossibly high expectations on his shoulders, always within reach but never quite achievable. So it makes a lot more sense why Peter initially has a low guard towards Norman (as opposed to some other series where Peter seems oddly dismissive of Harry’s justified complaints) and Harry’s own steadfast loyalty to his father. On the surface Norman seems like a perfectly loving parent, he encourages his son, he created an entire school for him when he was wrongfully accused of sabotage, it’s only when you start to dig deeper into their relationship that you see the subtle manipulations and the issues Harry has from constantly chasing his father’s approval. This creates a Harry who is desperate for validation and extremely sensitive to rejection, which colors his relationship with Peter throughout the show. I’m still mad he got nerfed in the second and third seasons because Disney is homophobic. TLDR: I may be biased ... Infinity/10

MCU:

Where is he? Who knows? Man missing in action. ?????/10

#Harry Osborn #spider-man #msm 2017 #did i rant about various Harry Osborns way longer than I intended to? Yes yes I did #if anyone reads this tell me if i missed any prominent Harrys lmao #long post

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actlikeyoudidntdoit · 3 years

Text

ASSASSIN’S MODERN DAY PROFESSIONS

—————————————————

ALTAÏR

College Professor

-We all know that Altaïr has spent most of his life teaching, so what better job does he have than a college professor?

-He knows what he’s talking about, that much is certain, but sometimes he gets a little too lost in his lesson to realize that his students are scratching their heads. So it’s normal to have students staying after class, but they leave understanding every word of what he said.

-He’s not the fun teacher, but he’ll be able to teach you what you need and still remember it at the end of the day.

-He’s pretty lenient, and even with the obnoxious students who cause a scene, he calmly gets them to at least do their work.

-Other teachers always use him as a reference when it comes to the perfect teacher.

EZIO AUDITORE

-I can see Ezio being a public speaker since he’s not all that scared of crowds and spends a lot of time giving advice, so I think he’d really enjoy being able to help a crowd of people whose lives are falling apart

-Ezio would be the single anchor in a sea of storms because he always seems to have an answer for everything. He’s a man whose words are turned into inspirational quotes that people hang on their walls.

-When he says that things will be okay, no one doubts him since they know that he lost his father and his brothers very early on and that it took years for Ezio to accept the loss the way he had. If he could soldier through it, why couldn’t they?

-He doesn’t involve himself in politics, finding them to be a waste of time and breath despite how many people ask for his input on the political status of the country he’s staying in.

-He speaks to a lot of people in private, letting them speak their minds and giving his advice if they want it. He’s a therapist without a license, and you always feel hopeful about life leaving his office.

Connor

Construction or Sports

-This boy was designed for heavy work, and I’ve heard some good points in saying that not only would he be amazing at sports, but he’d also really enjoy it too.

-In my personal headcanon, I think he’d be a good construction worker as well. Not the high end kind that build skyscrapers or anything, but I can see him building simple houses for small communities, taking the lower jobs that can’t afford much help like the sweetheart he is. He definitely volunteers to make houses for the homeless.

-Since most of the homeless he helps don’t have much money, he makes sure to offer them baked goods because he’s definitely a baker.

Edward Kenway

-As a young man, he joins the navy

-Once he’s on his own, he buys his own boat and treats it like royalty.

-He’s not a pirate himself, but he does let less legal people on board for a price. At the time, it was just an easy cash pay since people paid good money when they were desperate.

-When he’s older and gets a grip on some of the people he’s helping (like the REALLY bad criminals) he quickly lets it go.

-Yet after seeing some of the more decent people and the places they were running from, I can see him being a sort of smuggler, but instead of smuggling drugs or weapons, he sells medicines, canned foods, and clothes to the regions where they’re scarce or hard to pay for.

-When he’s older and found a fortune over time, he starts up his own official charity, hiring various sailers to sail supplies to more places than he himself could alone.

SHAY CORMAC

-Okay, I have to say it. Shay would DEFINITELY be an FBI spy. Maybe I haven’t thought of it as heavily as I could, but he just strikes me as a man who could kill someone in plain sight and still not be seen.

-He already knows everything he can about infiltrating and getting vital information

-He knows exactly how to manipulate people to get what he wants.

-He’s like Macgyver but as an agent.

-He does things that make sleeping at night impossible, but he tells himself that every long night for him is another person somewhere else having a peaceful night, and peaceful nights means he’s doing his job. Right?

-Constantly questions his morals, but he can’t bring himself to stop, not knowing that he’d do if he stopped, because at least here he’s doing something. He’s contributing.

-That and maybe I might or might not want to see Shay in a suit 🤷‍♀️

AVELINE

-Actress. And a damn good one. She’s one of the kind of people who get paid millions each job and gives most of her cash on people who really need it. Not only that, she’s a fan favorite everywhere.

-She takes extra jobs in smaller businesses barely staying afloat, and public morality boosts has nothing to do with it. In fact, she keeps her fame life out of everything, choosing to see it just as another job.

-I can see her sharing similarities of Zendaya or Zoe Zaldana

ARNO DORIAN

-High school teacher or actor, I can’t decide.

-Because let’s be honest, this guys brain is more wrinkled than a raisin. He knows his stuff.

-He’s good at simplifying what he’s saying, and that happens to be a very useful trait when it comes to teaching.

-If he was a teacher, he’d be a damn good one, that’s for sure. No one will fail his class because he’s so good at explaining things, and he’d be the one who actually cares for his students.

-When it comes to acting... just admit that Arno’s a theater boy through and through. If you need proof, he’s the only one with a crazy amount of fancy robes and colors. FOR GODS SAKE HE OWNS A THEATER! So on modern day, I could totally see him as an actor as well.

-He’d be the Ewan Mcgregor of the modern day, because everyone recognizes him from SOMEWHERE because he’s really tested his acting ability on multiple various roles. Well read, charming, and level headed, he’d totally rock being an actor. He’s good friends with Aveline, and when they both have time in their busy schedules, they stop by for coffee and fill each other in on their life.

JACOB

-Boxing

-I saw the photoshops of Jacob in boxer life, and I have not been the same because oh my god that is amazing.

-but absolutely he’d be a boxer. He’s the shortest guy in the entire match, but he doesn’t need a stool to knock you on your ass before you can laugh about it.

-His opponents are lucky shattering bones is against the rules because he knows how to make someone wish their dad wore a condom.

-A lot of people think that his rounds must be rigged, and his sister had to physically hold him back every time Jacob threatened to give him a close up of how ‘rigged’ his fights were.

-Jacobs a powder keg, so it doesn’t take much to make him explode, and a lot of the less respectful people he has to fight picks particularly sore spots to do just that.

-He might be pissed, but his punch isn’t the only thing that stings. He knows exactly what words to use, and when they’ve gone too far, he doesn’t hold back.

-Might have a temper, but he has a good heart despite it all. He visits schools and completely turns his personality around with kids. He signs autographs, takes pictures, and makes sure that every one of them have a fun day because he knows that there’s some kids in this school that don’t have those kinds of days. He pays the school for field days each time, making sure they all get out. They bring out the scooters, parachutes, capture the flag, and ‘wrestling’ matches for the kids who want to face him. He loses every time. He never has a bigger smile on his face than when he has children fans walk up to him.

EVIE

-She is totally a lawyer and you can’t change my mind.

-Logic and Facts are her strongest weapons, and so far she has yet to lose a debate.

-Every other lawyer knows that seeing Evie walk into court is an instant death sentence, because like her brother, her words are sharp as a knife and her mind is even sharper.

-If they didn’t look identical, no one would believe that she would be related with Jacob the hot headed boxer, because she was level as water and was near impossible to make angry, but god help the poor sod that presses her.

-Her clients almost always get the best case scenario with Evie by their side by how good she is.

-Also like her brother, children are her weak spot, and her hard composure melts whenever she needs to speak to a child in the witness post, making sure that the child feel comfortable unlike the others that drill the kid with questions when they’re too skittish to answer. She takes her time and gets the kid feeling safe, and gently asks their side.

-Evie might not do it as a profession, but Evie has beaten Jacob in the boxing ring in the gym. She knows damn well how to handle herself, knowing she’d need it since she’d be fighting corrupt politicians or gang members who have too often tried attempts at her life. Every time she emerged unscathed, using the attempt at even more evidence against them and insuring a spot in jail. No one dared try attacking her again after that.

BAYEK

-I’m thinking police officer or motivational speaker for trauma.

-Either way, he’s a guardian who takes care of the people he’s in charge of. He knows words well, and having been down the dark path himself, he knows exactly what people experience and what they want to hear.

-Be the change you want to see in the world, and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

-He’d be a well respected officer, and he’s not afraid of telling off a comrade if someone is wrongfully accused. He’s not very popular in the police station, but as long as he’s doing his job, he’s satisfied.

-He’s saved several people over the course in his life, and his word is well honored since he’s on no ones side. He sees things as what they are and doesn’t twist events he disagreed with to his point of view. Even if it hurts him personally, he doesn’t lie.

-He’s divorced, but they’re still best friends with each other and visit when they can.

AYA (ran out of gifs. Sorry)

-She is hands down a self defense teacher for women

-She sells hidden self defense tools for less than ten dollars, always sure to keep constantly supply of them since many have confessed that they’ve saved them from dangerous situations.

-Like her former husband, she’s a protector and makes sure she provides her students with the best.

-She teaches children what to do if they ever get grabbed, and she’s had many parents in years thanking her when that information ended up saving their child’s life.

ALEXIOS

-Hands down he is a stunt double

- Preferably Arno’s since he relies more on flexibility than brute strength. Then there’s the fact that they look similar enough in features

-He does the moves that would probably be safer if they were just CGI, but he hates those computers with a passion, preferring to do the real thing instead of giving out something fake. He’s broken more bones than he can count, and the companies he works with always have a medic on standby when something goes wrong.

-They tried convincing him that they only needed him for a few spots, but after realizing that he wanted this (and him assuring them that he doesn’t bother with suing), they let him do his thing. The results are fruitful since the most nitpicky movie fans are absolutely thrilled when there’s a particular move done right.

-He teaches Arno a good few things about how to do action scenes, and they’re definitely good friends.

KASSANDRA

-Roller Derby

-She lives for throwing people and smacking them without being judged for it, so the Derby’s her safe spot.

-Everyone on the opposing team is terrified of her, always scared when they see her devilish smile, knowing that they’re about to get their asses handed to them. Like her brother, she’s an adrenaline junky, and when she’s not doing the derby, she’s going off into car races in a water trench. She’s surprisingly very good with cars too, knowing the inside and out of a car like the back of her hand.

-She loves it when men try to catcall her. It gives her a perfect opportunity to punch them in the face.

-She loves the races themselves because no one expects it. Sometimes she pretends to act like a beginner and absolutely slaughter them, giving them a nice wink before driving out with her cash.

-Only has a soft spot for the girl who visits her on weekends. She’s practically her older sister, and there will be hell to pay if her favorite kid gets hurt in any way.

EIVOR

-BACA(Bikers Against Child Abuse)

-The moment I saw this, I instantly thought about them.

-they would absolutely be a part of this

-Looking all badass in leather while turning into a softie for children? That’s Eivors entire character right there.

-Eivors not afraid to get physical with an abuser. They’d beat the abuser to a pulp and right after take the child out for ice cream.

-No one messes with Eivor, knowing that their lenience was stretched only for children. Anyone else tried to pressure her? Your teeth would be shattered and they’d wear the bits for a necklace.

-Children are much more brave around them because they’re tougher than their parent and on their side, so they’re not afraid to give them to the police

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bipercabeth · 4 years

Note

I CANT DECIDE BETWEEN "I didn’t mean to get blood on your shirt." OR "Please, just let me carry you." FOR THE PROMPTS YOU PICK :D

(tw injury, blood, and near-death)

One of the first things Camp Half-Blood tried and failed to teach Percy was how to stay calm in a crisis. You are worth nothing to the people you love if you lose your mind trying to save them.

On one hand, he does succeed. More people will die if Percy leaves the manticore unchallenged at the base of Half-Blood Hill, so he stays. For the kids racing to Thalia’s pine. Nothing else. His heart sits in the grass where Annabeth crumpled after the manticore’s spikes drove up her flesh in a line. Percy is just a body—a machine on autopilot. His humanity has fallen.

Killing the monster is easy after that. Percy thinks of the last time a manticore took Annabeth away, and the anger starts a forest fire inside him, one that could level the Long Island forest. Riptide slices through the manticore’s chest like he’s nothing, which is what he becomes. Dust. Ash. Utterly insignificant.

The sword falls as Percy rushes to Annabeth’s side. It doesn’t make a sound as it hits the soft earth, just a thump in the grass. It should be ugly, loud, cacophonous. It should echo up the hillside in a metallic cry for help.

Instead it’s quiet.

Annabeth’s breathing is low, laborious. The manticore’s poison shouldn’t be enough to kill, but she took multiple hits. Spikes peek out of her left side, poison seeping into her shoulder, side, hip, and calf. It darkens her veins in an eerie spiderweb pattern she would hate.

All at once, Percy is back on the Williamsburg bridge. There she is at his feet, looking up at him through cloudy eyes and dying. Percy made a promise then: no one touches her. Another bullet point on the long list of promises he couldn’t keep.

Annabeth’s chest shudders with a raggedy gasp. “Perce?” She asks it like she isn’t sure it’s him. Percy wonders how much pain it takes to plant the seed of doubt that he would be anywhere but at her side right now.

Smoke billows from his lungs instead of a response, thick and choking in the wake of extinguished anger. There is only fear now, and after fear, there is nothing.

This is the bit Percy can never stomach or sit through no matter how many times Chiron tries to drill it into his head. He sees Annabeth struggling for breath and wonders each time if this is the cruel trick the Fates planned for him all along. Percy never expected to live long, but he always expected Annabeth to live longer. From the moment he learned of the Prophecy, not having to live without her was the one certainty he held close to his chest.

He fumbles for the emergency ambrosia in his pocket and cups Annabeth’s face, telling her he’s here. They don’t need words for this. She turns into the soft embrace of his palm and sighs, her lungs steady for that single exhale. He slips the ambrosia into her mouth and watches her chew carefully.

“Tastes like you,” she croaks, gripping his wrist. “Your smile at Montauk.”

That rallies Percy. Annabeth has kissed enough of his sea-born smiles to recognize the taste. He owes her a lifetime of them.

“Annabeth. Baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get you safe, alright?”

Her grip tightens on his wrist. “I love you.”

Percy has to look away from her then. He can’t watch her say those words like they’re going to be her last. Like she wants them to be her last.

“I love you too. But tell me that later, yeah? When you’re patched up. Please just let me carry you.”

One of the newer campers runs over the hill, a son of Apollo who stays year-round. His eyes widen at the scene before him, and Percy wonders if this is going to be his first taste of real grief.

“Will isn’t here,” the kid squeaks. “He’s gone for the weekend. Our next best healer is...”

Percy is tired, but not unkind. “Spit it out, kid.”

“Me.”

A bit of Percy withers, both for Annabeth and the child shouldering an impossible burden. Percy has no choice but to carry them both.

Determination solidifies in his bones, fortifying him in the wake of an unbearable weight. He gathers Annabeth in his arms and stands, feeling the burn of loss in his muscles. He is weak in the wake of a life without her.

His feet carry him, perhaps on autopilot, to the creek running through camp. The son of Apollo senses his urgency and runs to iris message a more capable healer they don’t have time to reach. Annabeth is dying, and the poison waits for no one. Percy can feel her life force drifting away like a tug at the base of his spine. If he loses her, he will spend the rest of his life adrift.

The cool creek water soaks Percy’s shoes, and he folds. By some miracle, he is steady as he lowers their bodies into the stream, thankful to the shallowness for not allowing him to sink. He holds Annabeth in his lap, lets her head tip back just enough for the stream to color her hair darker. It tugs at her curls like a loving hand.

This is all Percy has left: a prayer that the water will recognize Annabeth as part of him. She is his life. If the water wants to save him, it will start with her.

He makes the tough choice and pulls the spikes from her body. She is already dying from the poison. The risk of bleeding out is outweighed by the hope that the water will leech the death from her blood. Hope is all Percy has left. No smoke, no ash. The fire is gone. He is nothing but a body holding his bleeding heart in his hands.

“I love you,” he chokes out, holding her limp neck in his palm. “I’m here. I’m right here. Stay with me.”

Percy thinks of his dad watching from above, doomed to outlive everyone he has ever loved. The point of refusing immortality was a life full of love at the cost of length. He thinks of every Montauk kiss, how healing has always tasted like home, and how that somehow because synonymous with Annabeth. If she dies here, healing will taste bitter. He will never be able to eat ambrosia again. He will never want to.

“You promised.” The current of the creek quickens, painting their clothes a darker color. Annabeth’s blood swirls in the water before disappearing downstream. The ground beneath them begins to shake. “I fought, I burned, and I yielded. For this. For her. Heal her.”

Poseidon answers. The current reverses, washing over their bodies like a baptism, a rebirth. Annabeth’s veins fade back into her skin and the wounds knit shut. With each passing second, a bit of Percy’s heart returns to his chest. He can feel his fingers again. He can feel. Love and light have not died.

Annabeth’s chest steadies and she gasps, the life returning to her in one fell swoop. She gasps I love you into Percy’s chest like those are the only words she knows, the only ones she’ll have him hear. He crushes her to him, their shirts sticking from the water, and whispers the same into her shoulder. I love you I love you I love you.

Their grips don’t loosen. They don’t relax. They just cling to each other, fearful of letting go in the face of another brush with death. This is their life; this is why they hold each other so tightly, even in times of peace.

“I’m sorry.” Annabeth’s voice is too small, detached. Percy pulls back to look at her and finds her staring at his chest.

“I didn’t mean to get blood on your shirt.” She frowns. “This is one of my favorite shirts.”

Percy sees the faraway look in her eyes and puts a finger under her chin, ducking until she locks on him. “Hey, easy. It’ll wash out.” He swallows thickly. “I love you.” It sounds like it’s okay. I love you, and you are still here, so it’s okay.

Annabeth kisses him, ambrosia still on her lips, and it just tastes like her.

#this is i am no orpheus’s little sister #THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TALK TO JERSEY APPARENTLY #feel free to mine this for tsoa references there are at LEAST three #drabbles #my fic #my percabeth #pjo fics #iris messages #wasithard

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

Note

So this is an angst request about Erwin! To basically lay it out Erwin and reader are childhood friends and she has always been pretty attached to him, as they grow up he goes into the survey corps and she goes with him as well, and she eventually develops a crush on him and he does too just that he keeps it private to himself.

okay! i hope you like it and sorry for the waiting!! 💖

continuation to the request:

Over time they start falling apart. Either way during an expedition the reader ends up passing away and since then one of the reader's best friends has been passive aggressive with Erwin even when he became commander. So the night before the retaking of Wall Maria he calls that friend into his office and he asks them why they have been acting that way ever since she died. The friend confesses that the reader loved him so much that she didnt care what happened to them and that. The friend confesses that the reader loved him so much that she didnt care what happened to them and that she didn’t care when he fell into the arms of any other woman because she just wanted him to be happy. And that's why the friend was always so mad at Erwin because he never even spared a glance at her. So then Erwin dies and he meets her again and it can end on either fluff or angst if you want to. You can do it in any POV you can! Thanks!

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❁ erwin x female!reader

❁ spoilers! some cursing also, one mention of suicide word, original character introduction, non-canon events and deaths.

❁ a/n: sorry, anon! it took longer than I expected to write this because i kept editing it :’) i hope you like it <3 sorry for any errors and for making this so long :’’) also, i’m not following the manga exact events!!!! also sorry if i messed something up :(

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

“You’re what?”

“I’m joining the Survey Corps.” Erwin looked at you, his blue eyes fixed on yours. He left the papers on the desk, getting up. Even knowing he’s just a teenager, he’s pretty tall. But, after all this years, it doesn’t intimidate you.

“You’re not” He says. You raise an eyebrow, looking at him.

“You’re not my father to decide what can I do and what I cannot do. If you’re joining, I’m joining.” Erwin sighs and looks at you fiercely. You keep your gaze in his.

“I have the same possibilities to die as you have, Smith. So don’t fucking dare to tell me not to join.”

Both of you passed the tests to enter the Survey Corps. His intelligence and your strength made the two of you stand out. You cared for Erwin, always checking on him on your training expeditions, and being there when he rans out of gas or needs assistance. Even when he tried to convince you not to, you joined anyway the elimination squad. Erwin joined as well, but his strategic brain made him talk to the heads of the army. Lion waited for you after an intense training. Erwin was entering the Commander’s office. Lion sighed.

“He’s always so occupied with high class men...”

“I’m happy for him.” you say. Lion was cleaning his boots.

He has been your friend since both of you entered the elimination squad, and he’s like a big brother to you now. He rolls his eyes.

“Because you love him.” He says. He was not wrong: A little teen crush on Erwin evolved to the point that you love him. You know he doesn’t feel the same for you, or so you think. He always treats you kind of cold, and more since he entered the Corps. You know he feels responsible of you joining because of his ideas, but you where totally free to join. That doesn’t excuse his new cold attitude towards you. Lion sighs again and gets up, his boots now totally clean.

“He doesn’t look at you that way, y/n” He says. Maybe he’s right, totally right, but the heart doesn’t choose who to love. That’s why you’re deeply in love with him. And because you know him better than anyone. His fears and his goals. The way his blue eyes soften when he talks about something he loves. "But, I do understand you." he says. "Love is just a fucking problem and a headache if it is one-sided" He palmed your shoulder before going out of the tent. Sighing, you stand up and follow him. Erwin comes out of the Commander’s tent at the same time. You look at him and he looks at you. You smile at him, a little smile that he is silently adoring, silently wanting to kiss, to feel it against him.

"Come on, Erwin." The Commander makes Erwin walk behind him, and his expression keeps being the same as usual towards you. You decide it's time to stop making him notice you. He doesn't want anything romantic with you, so just let him be. If he wants to search a cute soldier to get married or a girl to have fun is his decision. You're out of it.

But you didn't know how much he cared for you, how deep in love he was. Just watching the corners of your lips making a little smile makes his heart beat faster, the way you are so close to him even when he is treating you like that hurts him. If he wasn't a soldier, he would ask you to go out with him. He would take your hands sweetly and make you dance to an invented song just to see the way your lips curve in a smile of joy. He would take you to long walks and give you his jacket when you're cold. He would ask your hand in marriage and kiss and nude your body with care and tenderness. He would marry you happily, have maybe a couple kids, if you want to. Live a easy and quiet life.

But he decided to be a soldier.

That means he's risking his life every time he puts his feet out of the walls. As you do. That's why he wants you to leave and search someone who cares for you and loves you deeply. He wants to be that one, but knowing that maybe he'll die in the next expedition, leaving you alone and heartbroken, scares him. He knows you're brave and strong, but a close loose is not a easy thing. Even for you. So he decided to keep a cold attitude towards you.

Years passed by and your crush for him was still there, as intense as always. He is candidate to be the next Commander, as he always wanted to. His desire for knowing why humanity has to be in the walls while the titans can be free out there. Lion knocks on your room door.

"Did you heard the news?" he asks, entering. You shake your head. "We'll go on an emergency expedition tomorrow." Lion sits near you. An emergency expedition. There was a rare type of expedition, the emergency ones: they're made when a strange titan comes around and takes a lot of normal titans with it, near a town or village. "We're leaving tonight at 5. Be ready." You nod. "And try to sleep a bit, yes?" you nod again. Lion leaves silently and you prepare yourself to sleep some hours. You know that going without sleeping will make you an easy prey for titans. At five o'clock, you're all marching towards the entrance of the wall Maria. The Commander assigns your squad to the front.

The expedition starts calmly, even when the atmosphere in the soldier’s files seems tense. Lion rides a horse near you, in silence, and you know Erwin goes behind, with all the high soldiers. You can’t feel titans near, even their steps. That’s why the Commander yell scares you.

“There’s a sparkler!” he yells. You look at both sides, finding easily the black colored flame. “Elimination squad, go and find that damn thing and kill it. Rescue squad, find survivors and take them to the barricade.” You nod, following your squad leader. After a long time riding, without finding signs of a titan near, you start to think that maybe it was just a bad joke of one of the juniors.

That changes when the girl next to you yells, suddenly trapped in a big hand. A strange titan, with an enormous mouth, smiles at her, as if it were trying to tell her that it is going to enjoy every bite of her body. And it does. You saw comrades die because of titans. Smashed, eaten in a bite or even suicides. But you never, never, saw a titan split a comrade in two parts. Her waist bleeds while the titan swallows her legs. The scene is truly gross, how the blood stains the mouth of the titan, dripping to the ground, making the daisies turn red in a cruel metaphor of life and death.

“Eva...” Lion whispers. All the color has left his face. You’re incapable to look to other side, just to the horror expression in Eva’s face, freezed forever while the titan eats her. Then, it’s gaze searches new victims. That’s how you react, when its bloody smile is pointing on your direction. Lion yells.

“y/n!”

Your ODMG goes fast and reaches a near tree, where you hang. The titan looks around. You have it’s neck really close to you. It’s just having it distracted and attack him.

“Lion, distract him!” You yell, hiding behind the trunk. Lion starts to move on the ground, the big eyes of the titan following him fast, his hand trying to reach the fastest soldier of the army. You point with your ODMG to its neck, the perfect angle for attacking it. Once your hooks are well placed, you take two blades and jump.

The attack is one the trainer show you. It’s almos infalible, it has a 0′1 margin of error. It’s impossible to fail. You speed up, trying to reach its neck. But you found its teeth before.

Your expression is surprised when the titan opens its mouth, taking you into it. Your blades made cuts in its mouth because of the speed.

“y/n!” Lion yells, taking out his blades. He goes fast in your help, but maybe it is too late. You feel how the titans’ teeth part you in two, as you saw it did with Eva before. It is instant pain. How you body gets split in two. How the titan parts from your body, to pull the part it has between its teeth far from the other part of your body, using two fingers to hold your upper part. You’re still conscious about what is happening. You can see other titans fighting against your comrades. You can watch them die, as same as you’re about to do. There’s no way to save you.

This is not a romantic book. Erwin is not going to appear in his white horse, just in time to save you. He’s not going to leave the army to take care of you. He’s not going to kill that titan in revenge, yelling and covered in blood. So, that’s why you close your eyes, leaving your body, without making resistance against the titan.

When Lion killed it, it was late for you. Lion tried to wake you up, to make you open your eyes and look at him. But you couldn’t. Your soul was watching him from above.

The news reached your home and Erwin. He went to your house, to show respect and give the sorry to your family.

It hurt him in ways he couldn’t imagine he would get hurt. It was a continuous reminder in his heart, that now you’re not going to smile at him in the corridors or be behind him when he needs you. He cried. He cried a lot, in private, in his room. He regretted every single cold gaze, every time he ignored you thinking it was the best for you. He regrets all the times you reached him to talk with him, and he ignored you to talk with high ranked soldiers. He regrets not confessing to you.

And now he can’t do anything about it because you’re not longer there.

Lion feels guilty, he thinks he could have saved you, but you jumped on the titan’s mouth. It wasn’t his fault. Erwin knows he was your best friend there, and he knows he should go and show his respects to him too, but he can’t. Not now. He decides to wait. The wound is too recent.

That’s how years passed by, slow, and Erwin got upgraded to Commander. He got new soldiers, new squads and new faces. But he stills think about you. About how you would like to meet Hange. How Lion is training the new ones. How well you’ll understand Levi.

He decided that it was time to talk with Lion. Breathing deep, he started to walk towards the barricade. There, Lion was making a ponytail to a young girl, that seemed like a cadet. The girl made the army’s salute towards her Commander, salute that Erwin made back. Lion looked at him, his face tinted with anger, like every time the Commander walked near him. Erwin knows he feels bad because of what happened to you but, angry at him? Why?

“Can we talk in my office?” the blonde man asks. Lion keeps looking at him with anger.

“Why would the Commander need me?”

“Just a couple of minutes, and then you can go back to work.”

Lion reluctantly agrees, following the Commander back to his office. Once they’re in, Erwin starts to talk.

“I know y/n’s death has...”

“Oh, so now you’re going to talk about her.” Lion says. His arms are crossed.

“What do you mean?” Erwin asks. Lion walks toward him. The two of them are similar in height, but Lion is more corpulent.

“You never talked to her when she was alive. Even knowing that she was there for you every fucking time you needed her. She wasn’t your fucking dog, Commander.” the way Lion spits the word makes Erwin realize that he isn’t his favorite soldier. “She was a girl. A girl with feelings, a girl that loved and suffered. A human. Not your war machine, not your gas station, not your shield. A girl.”

Erwin wasn’t getting where was Lion trying to reach with that conversation.

“What do you mean?” he asks, quietly. Lion let out a little sarcastic laugh.

“She was in love with you, Commander Smith. She told me a hundred times that it didn’t care if you were watching another woman because that means you’re happy.” Erwin’s blue eyes shot open in surprise. “She was in love with you. That’s why she was always around you, helping you and caring for you. It wasn’t luck. It was love.”

Erwin got dizzy. That’s why you were always so sweet to him? Always trying to get closer to him, to make sure he was secure, to make him notice you.

How was he so blind?

“I...” Erwin was at a loss of words. Lion sighed.

“I don’t know why you were so cold to her. Why? She was the sweetest girl out there and you treated her with coldness.”

He asks himself the same. Why? To protect you or to protect himself? Was he trying to make you happy or trying to extinguish the love he felt for you? Was it for your good-being or for his?

Was he being egoistic or abnegated?

Lion left the office without looking again to Erwin.

That night, Erwin’s mind was a mess. He only could think about you. About how you cared all this time for him and how he couldn’t save you. But he had an expedition the next day. Even when he wanted to cry and break things and scream, he needs to sleep. He’s human, after all.

He dreamed about you. About how your smile was always for him, and he couldn’t see it. That’s why there are purple marks under his eyes. Levi looks at his Commander, saying anything. Just his normal silence when he looked to the front again. Erwin survived to a lot of battles, a lot, even when one of them costed his arm. But he survived. Even when he wanted to die, because you’re not longer with him. But he obligated himself to keep going.

“Today, we’re fighting to recover a part of Wall Maria, to recover the district of Shiganshina from the titans. Soldiers, offer your hearts!” all the soldiers yelled back to Erwin. He looked at the sky.

Some hours after, the Commander told all his effectives to offer themselves along with him. He knew it was difficult to win towards the beast titan, the one that throws rocks. He talked to Levi earlier, and the Captain asked him if he had a plan. Levi was sure everybody was about to die. But the Commander told Levi that, risking his life and his cadets lives, there was hope for humanity. That’s why Erwin was looking at the distance without fear, the silhouette of the Beast Titan could be seen from where he is. Yelling to his subordinates once again, he made the army advance. And a lot of stones appeared in front of them. He thought about you, about how you where always brave, even when things were complicated.

That was the last thought he had, before getting hit by a rock.

Erwin didn’t expect to find you again, pretty as always, with your beautiful hair clean and shining. He was there, in front of you. You were also wearing the Corps uniform. His eyes started to form tears.

“Erwin?” You asked. He nods. Your watery eyes understood that if he’s there, in front of you, it means he’s dead. You run, hugging him. His scent is as clear as always, his arm tangled on your waist. You cry on his chest and he cries on your neck.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, y/n...” he says. His breath is irregular and his big hand massages your waist.

“It’s okay, Erwin. It’s okay.” Your hand strokes his hair, quietly.

“I told my soldiers to die for the humanity. I sacrificed them for what?” the shock after commanding a whole army, being aware of all the lives he risked for humanity, made him break. You hugged him, being there for him. "Why are you here, with me?"

"Because I love you." you simply say. "I'm still in love with you, Erwin." you answer. He looks at your face.

"You're not angry at me?" he asks. You shake your head.

"I guess you had your causes to avoid me. Maybe you don't like me even a bit or something, and that's totally right."

He knew he needed to explain everything to you, but, for now, he just need to feel your arms around him.

Now, you have all eternity to be together.

#aot fluff #aot x reader #snk fluff #snk x reader #snk fic #aot fic #aot scenario #aot fanfiction #snk headcanons #aot #erwin snk #erwin x you #aot erwin #erwin x reader #erwin smith #erwin angst #erwin fluff

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dudefrommywesterns · 3 years

Text

Title: Pilot

Ship: Mike x Ichabod Crane x Abbie Mills (pre-relationship)

Words: 2422

Description: A rewrite of the pilot episode.

Warnings: none

The sun had just set and Mike was about to clock out when the news of Sheriff Corbin’s death reached their department. Though not asked to, or involved with the case, they couldn’t help but go listen to the interrogation of the current prime subject. He looked somewhere in his early thirties, he was English, and he believed he was a soldier under General George Washington in the American Revolutionary army. He said his name was Ichabod Crane. His name was strange and so was his manner of speaking. He piqued Mike’s interest immediately. For someone the interrogator was about to decide was insane, his story was seamless. The history lover in Mike was amazed.

Abbie Mills was looking at Mike oddly. They knew very little about her other than her name and her position as the late sheriff’s partner. They felt bad for her, losing her partner so traumatically and suddenly like that. Mike did not want to trade places with her.

“You’re a cold case detective,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

“Exactly,” Mike said. “I love interesting and difficult cases. I suspect this is about to be both.”

“Interesting isn’t what I’d call it,” she said.

“Sorry,” Mike said. “I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”

“He didn’t do it,” Mike said, looking at Ichabod through the two-way mirror.

“What makes you say that?”

Mike took a long look at her. “The wounds were cauterized, which is nearly impossible with no fire near the crime scene. There is absolutely no evidence tying him to this crime, except the idea he knows a little too much about it. And, you know he didn’t do it. I can tell by the look on your face.”

“So,” Mike asked after a moment. “Who did?”

“I’m not sure.”

Mike was skeptical of this answer but didn’t press any further.

The interrogator upon Ichabod passing the polygraph with flying colors decided that he should be taken to a mental hospital. Mike hoped to delay this so they could study him further.

Later, they found out that Mills had convinced Captain Irving to let her transport Ichabod. What they needed to do then was convince her to let them tag along.

Mike found the pair just before they took off in a police car, having an interesting looking conversation.

“Hey, Mills!” Mike called out as they ran up to the car.

“What are you doing here, detective?” she asked them.

“There’s a good reason you asked Irving to transport him, right? I want to know what that is, and he’s just so damn interesting. I was hoping to talk to him.”

Mike looked over at Ichabod and grimaced. Then they added, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk about you like you’re not here.”

“I’ll ride in the back,” Mike said. “This seems like a case that could use the skills of a cold case detective. Maybe?”

“Okay,” Mills agreed.

Mike opened the back door and slid into the car.

Mike watched Ichabod amusedly as he tested the windows in the passenger’s seat in the police car. Up and down, up and down. Mills did not find this amusing and asked him to stop.

Then he pointed at a Starbucks and said it used to be a livery. Mills had to explain the purpose of Starbucks to him and Mike couldn’t possibly have been more amused at that moment. Then another Starbucks appeared and Ichabod asked how many there were.

“Per block?” asked Mills.

“Is there a law?” asked Ichabod.

Mike stifled a laugh, then said, “Your dedication to staying in character is astounding.”

“I think you will find that is because I am not trying to be any character,” said Ichabod.

“I’m a cold case detective,” Mike said. “My job is to be observant and skeptical. It would be hard to do so if I started believing in time travel.”

Mills took this opportunity to make a joke about the 250 years Ichabod claimed to have been dead, and asked why the Civil War hadn’t woken him up. Or if he had gotten up to pee at any point. He was unamused by this but Mike was hiding a smile.

Then Mills asked him about the cave he said he woke up in and asked him to direct her to it.

Ichabod pointed out that she was going against her orders.

Mike chimed in, “Ah, so there was a reason you decided to ask Irving to transport him. Figures. This should be an interesting detour.”

Eventually, the trio arrived in the woods. Mike wasn’t a big fan of the forest or walks through it but decided to keep this opinion to themself.

Then there was the staircase down into the cave that was simultaneously interesting and anxiety-inducing.

Mills quickly explained to Ichabod how to use a flashlight then they looked around the cave. It was large, it was dark, and it smelled like death. All the while, Mills recorded her findings on her phone for a later report.

Then Ichabod found something. It was a Bible with the passage of Revelation 6:1 marked, which referred to Death, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Mills and Mike looked at him as if he were insane as he explained his finding. Then he told of the time he met George Washington at his tent on the Hudson River. He had given Ichabod a mission to kill a man who would appear at the shore, a man with the mark of a bow on his hand.

Mills concluded this was crazy and said it was time to leave.

As she moved to the stairs, Ichabod said he believed the Bible was left with him for a reason and that Mills was simply refusing to believe the truth.

Mike and Mills went silent as he explained that the man he fought did not die when he removed his head, and that he was Death.

Just as they began to head back into town, Mills received word of another beheading, of the priest at the church.

Mills told Ichabod to remain in the car while she and Mike went to look.

“I haven’t really been on the scene of a recent crime,” Mike said nervously. “Especially not an active serial killer.”

Abbie didn’t make a reply but instead made a beeline to Irving, who was trying to secure the area.

The death of the priest matched the deaths at the farm.

Then Irving spotted Ichabod and became very upset. Mills tried to explain her actions but to no avail. She would have to take Ichabod to the mental hospital, or risk losing her job.

Mike joined her in following Ichabod into the graveyard.

“I told you to stay in the car,” she told him annoyedly.

“As you know I’m insane and therefore impervious to simple commands,” he wittily shot back.

“I should’ve brought popcorn,” Mike said.

Ichabod told them a bird led him to the graveyard, and one grave in particular: that of his late wife, Katrina. The cause of death was execution for witchcraft.

Once again, Ichabod tried to use this as proof of his theory, and Mills wasn’t having it. Mike wasn’t sure what to say.

Then she mentioned she was leaving Sleepy Hollow.

“Oh, for Quantico Bay, right?” Mike asked. “I thought I’d heard that but wasn’t sure.”

Ichabod told her she couldn’t leave, that all their fates were entwined. He sounded a little crazy in that moment.

Mills ended the conversation there and told Ichabod that she didn’t want to have to fight for another case alone.

He and Mike were shocked into silence.

Then the pair took him to the mental hospital, St. Gregory’s.

Mills tried to sympathize with him, and she and Mike had managed to get him his own cell. Mike looked around as she talked to him about how scared he must be.

This place definitely isn’t helping, Mike thought.

Something about Ichabod and Mike made Mills feel comfortable enough to share the events that happened while she was in high school. She had seen something she couldn’t explain with her sister while they were walking through the woods on their way home. When they were found, everyone thought they were crazy. She confided that her sister was in and out of places like the one they were in now.

“I’m sorry,” Mike said.

“She’s battling demons,” Ichabod said, and Mills gave him a small nod.

She explained that she related to the feeling of everyone thinking you’re crazy.

Then one of the security guards told Mike and Mills that it was lights out.

Ichabod told Mills he was sorry about the Sheriff.

As the pair left, Mike said, “Hey, you know, it’s hard putting things like that out there. I’m sorry to hear about your sister but I’m glad you told us.”

“So, what’s your story?” Mills asked them. “What brought you to Sleepy Hollow?”

“Sleepy Hollow is a place of legend,” Mike said. “And it’s a small town. Small towns always have the most interesting secrets, so I figured they had the most interesting cold cases. This one especially.”

“Were you right?”

“So far, yes,” Mike said. “But all this” — Mike made a waving gesture with their hand — “is more interesting than anything I found among the case files.”

“You should have my number,” Mike said. “You know, in case you find anything.”

Mills handed them her phone and they typed in their number.

“See you around?” Mike asked her.

“See you around,” she replied.

The next time they heard from Mills is when they called and told them they intended to get Ichabod out of the mental hospital, with false documentation. Mike reminded her of the dangers of this but it was no use. Despite their reservations, Mike went.

“I figure if you go down, I’ll go down with you,” they told her as they walked through St. Gregory’s. “But I don’t think you will.”

When they found him, he was being restrained and was going to be dosed with Haldol to sedate him. Mike cringed at the sight as Mills told him, and the nurses, that he was coming with them. As soon as she handed a slip of paper to the head nurse, they left like a bat out of Hell. On the way, Mills explained that there was no warrant, and that she had handed the nurse a practice sheet for her Academy exam.

Then, Ichabod revealed that he knew what the horseman was looking for.

In the car, Mills told Mike and Ichabod about Sheriff Corbin’s research that she had found in his office. She handed Ichabod a map of the Hudson Valley from 1776.

“If we all weren’t in mortal danger,” Mike said. “I would think that was so cool.”

Ichabod told them he had seen the map before, when Washington had charted it, and wondered how Corbin had found it. None of them had the slightest clue.

Mills explained that Corbin knew what she and her sister saw, and that he believed it was real. Ichabod told her that it was real, and that he knew because he had seen it himself.

Mike blew air out of their lips in a ‘whew’ sound.

As they got closer to the church, Mills called Andy Brooks, a fellow police officer, and the man who had arrested Ichabod. They needed everyone at the scene.

When the trio arrived, they quickly made their way to Katrina’s ersatz grave, where the horseman’s head was hidden. Ichabod and Mike grabbed shovels and started digging while Mills held the flashlight.

When the horseman arrived, the skull's eyes opened, nearly making Mike jump back ten feet.

Somewhere, he had gotten a rifle, and he was now shooting at them. Ichabod jumped into the grave, Mike hid behind a headstone, and Mills was running and shooting at the figure.

Just as he went to shoot Ichabod, she shot him from afar, behind the brick half-wall at the edge of the cemetery.

Then, while the horseman was distracted, he jumped out of the grave, and began hitting him with the shovel. There were shots fired and punches thrown but soon Ichabod made it out, and Mike with him.

The horseman soon caught up, and the pair had to duck behind a car.

Then came cop cars, just as the horseman went to retrieve

“Put your hands on your-” one of the police officers began.

The horseman did not heed the police officers, and instead looked at the sky, where the sun was coming up over the horizon.

As a last attempt, the horseman shot at the cars. Then he rode off.

Mills appeared from somewhere, “Long! Crane!”

The police officers turned their guns toward her and she put her hands up, explaining that she had called them.

“Lieutenant!” Ichabod called as he moved slightly away from the car. Mike covered their ears as the police shot the car and he slinked back.

Mills annoyedly told them Ichabod was with her, and he announced he was alright with his hand in the air.

“Fucking hell,” Mike said as they stood up. “Use your heads before your guns, morons.”

Two more police cars arrived.

Mike, Ichabod, and Mills looked at each other in relief.

When they saw Irving, he was mad at Mills but couldn’t do much since Mike and two other police officers were there to corroborate her story. As an added bonus, Brooks had confessed. However, he wanted to see Mills, Ichabod, and Mike.

Irving was further exasperated when Mills told him she believed this would all get worse, and he still thought she was leaving for Quantico Bay.

She told him she wasn’t anymore.

Ichabod, and Mike, smiled a little when she said she felt she was supposed to be here in Sleepy Hollow.

Irving left them to find answers.

Then, Ichabod pointed out something Katrina had told him in a dream about two witnesses. He felt that he was the first, and Mills the second.

Mike joked, “And what am I, the witnesses’ assistant?”

“We’ll need all the help we can get,” Mills told them. “Brooks told me a war was coming.”

“Let’s find out what else he knows,” Ichabod said.

But before the trio could ask Brooks anything, they found him in his cell with his head bent backward.

Then a creature with horns appeared in the mirror and walked away, before flashing toward them, and shattering the glass.

tag list: @lysandthunder @cozyships @prophetshusband @pucksfictionallovelife @holy-heck-i-love-my-fo @genoswife @bee-ships @mrsxhojo

#⌜ ✒ ⌟#⌜ self ship ⌟#self shipping community #romantic: all we really have is each other #this is the fic i was talking about #i probably won't rewrite very many episodes #but idk yet #also i guess these two are f/os now #heh

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itsmoonpeaches · 3 years

Text

The Ocean Meets the Sky

Chapter 3: Void

Please note: Every prompt for this Kataang Week connects into an over-arching story.

Prompt: Missing Scenes/Post-Canon

Story summary: After his battle with Fire Lord Ozai, something lingers within Aang's spirit. Katara is the one that pulls the seams back together. No matter what, Aang and Katara find each other.

Chapter summary: Around him was a peculiar material. It looked like constant twisting roots, like lodes knotting into themselves, making an impossible sculptured feat of wood and grain. The distinct scent of nature and wet soil after rain permeated the air.

“Where am I?” he asked into nothing.

Or, Aang sees what he couldn't before.

TW: implied/referenced suicide

Written for @kataang-week

Read on ao3 or ffn.

---

Aang was on the battlefield again. He stood atop a rock pillar in the Wulong Forest. The sky was a clouded cerise, harsh with glaring shadows and a raging streak that made up the tail of Sozin’s Comet. The same apprehension and anger stormed inside him, bubbling to the surface of everything.

And then, there was a pinprick of white light. Just a tiny star, and then it expanded so much that he had to cover his eyes.

His vision cleared. He found himself sitting with his legs crossed, his hands in a meditation pose. Around him was a peculiar material. It looked like constant twisting roots, like lodes knotting into themselves, making an impossible sculptured feat of wood and grain. The distinct scent of nature and wet soil after rain permeated the air.

“Where am I?” he asked into nothing.

There was a rumbling noise, and then an eye-shaped window appeared before him too, separating the bark. It was in the shape of an eye turned to the side. A purplish red barrier that he could see through blocked him from escape. Behind the barrier, he saw strange, oblong patterns and suggestions of shapes. A turquoise sky, unnatural poisonous clouds. Beyond that, a vivid river cutting through the earthen landscape. It had clusters of bobbing, luminescent algae upon the water’s surface that cast an unusual light.

He gasped when his middle started to glow, white-blue designs appearing on his skin and through his clothes. The wooden bead necklace he wore lifted from his neck as if upon an invisible breeze. The fabrics he wore ruffled. A chill raised the hairs on his arms.

“Inside the Tree of Time,” intoned an echoing feminine voice. It felt like it was coming from inside him. Illogical, reverberating.

He blinked, clutching at his sleeves, searching for the source of the light. “Who are you? Who’s talking?” he asked in a panic.

“Raava,” said the voice, continuing unperturbed. “I am part of you, Aang. I am the spirit of light…the spirit of the Avatar.”

Immediately, it was as if all the pieces had fallen into place. There was a calmness about him that settled on his shoulders, his chest. He knew, without a doubt, that this Raava was telling the truth, that the voice was someone he could trust. It was as if he had reconnected with a long-lost friend.

“You are here because you have bended another’s energy…and that energy has corrupted you.”

Aang reeled backward, banging onto the hollow trunk of the tree. “What? But—”

“Let time show you,” Raava interrupted, and he could almost imagine a figure gesturing to the tree that surrounded him, a faceless spirit guiding him on this journey he did not want to take.

Images fizzled into existence around him, floating visions that surfaces upon the bark. They were blurred along the borders and had a quality to them that made them appear almost ethereal. The first he saw was of someone familiar.

It was Gyatso running away from his old room in the Southern Air Temple, the scroll Aang had left behind when he ran away clutched in his hand. His eyebrows were drawn together, features set into one of dread.

“Aang has gone!” he shouted into the empty halls. “We need to send out a search party immediately! Who knows what will happen in this typhoon!”

Another moving image popped near it, this time a courtyard full of elder monks, murmuring to each other, pointing at the deep red sky. He could not tell what time of day it was, for there were stars that peeked out from behind the Patola Mountains, and a glimmer of sunrays limning the edges of the valleys at the same time.

Another image, and it was fire. Screams, children he had known yelling through crumbling rubble. Dote, his friend, struggling to pull out his broken leg from beneath a fallen pillar. Blood cascaded from a cut on his forehead. Behind him, a great fireball scorched a group of lemurs into a crisp, and their corpses were left to fall with a resounding thud onto the blackened tile of what used to be Aang’s home.

“We have to get out of here!” bellowed a young adult monk with hardly a beard patch on his chin. He had a limp. An arrow had pierced his thigh and rivulets of red dribbled down his leg. “Gather the children! Quickly!”

Aang saw the tiles on the roofs come crashing to the ground, the silhouette of a couple clutching onto each other’s hands as they plunged together to their death in the crags below, a bison calf yowling for its mother who lay in a lifeless burning heap.

Aang’s heart hammered in his chest, hard and fast. Sweat pooled behind his neck when he realized what he was seeing.

“Scenes from your past,” said Raava, not unkindly. “Events that you missed, that you could not live through, because you could not save your people.”

Everything seemed to collide in on itself when he recognized Gyatso again in another image, this time in a falling apart structure surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers. The elderly man spun in a circle, an arc, lifting his arms and pushing them outward. The soldiers stiffened, scratched at their throats, and fell to their knees breathless. Some coughed, others struggled, a few of them writhed until they did not anymore.

Then, without warning, Gyatso fell as well with a look of listlessness in his gray eyes. He slumped onto the wall, and he stared at the ceiling, succumbing to his own suffocation tactic.

When Aang saw this, he grasped for his head, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He did not want to see any of it. None of it at all. The regret was already too great.

He wanted…

He did not know what he wanted, nor what he could want.

But then, like hopelessness itself, there came a foggy vision at last. A forgotten memory.

A man, elderly and ragged, collapsed against a boulder in a new image that took over the previous one. His armor was falling apart as he stared into the tempestuous sky above him. A pang resounded in Aang’s spirit, as if the man was calling out to him.

“I'm sorry, Raava,” the man rasped out, sagging ever further downward, “I failed to bring peace. Even with Vaatu locked away, darkness still surrounds humanity.”

Raava hummed from inside Aang in agreement. “You see Aang, your spirit must be unbendable to bend another’s energy,” she explained while Aang’s vision became more distorted with guilt. “The problem is there is no one with an unbendable spirit…not even the Avatar’s. You are human, and therefore there is a darkness, no matter how small, that resides inside you. There can be no light without darkness, and no darkness without light. Even if you were to eliminate one, the other would appear again no matter how long it takes.”

Aang did know, and he understood it. He wished that he did not.

He remembered the slight moment of hesitation, the cry for help he imagined Gyatso would exclaim as his and Ozai’s energies melded for that short, tumultuous moment. He remembered how he wanted more from Ozai than his bending. Just for that second before he righted himself.

He had thought of Katara. She was the one how had taught him how to hope again, and maybe he could think of her again.

When he looked up again, the tree had shown him another moving picture, another moment he had never witnessed himself.

It showed himself sleeping in a room made of planks of wood that swayed gently from side-to-side. He was laying on a pile of white furs, his upper torso wrapped with bandages, and a pair of tattered yellow pants.

Katara hovered over him. She had bags under her eyes. Her braid that rested along her spine was messy. Her hands were encased in glowing water, and she moved them along his arms and legs, pressing them onto his chest.

When she finished, she looked worn. The water snaked back into the pouch. There were shadows that darkened her face. “Please, Aang,” she begged in a low murmur. “Please wake up. I don’t know what to do without you.”

The scene of the two of them shifted, melted, and then he observed her again but in a different light.

Aang saw Katara’s face highlighted and illuminated with a deep orange and blue as the two colors clashed against each other from across a vast ocean. A wall of light pushed up against another stalwart wall. They were two opposites fighting to maintain the balance he could not keep.

She stood alert in the Fire Nation palace’s courtyard where they had reunited, looking out over the horizon.

“Aang,” she whispered, “Don’t give up. I believe in you.” Then, even lower as she clutched her hands to her heart, she added, “I love you.”

Katara screamed for him afterward when the colors brightened and grew all the more intense. Her hands balled into fists, and there was nothing he could do but watch.

#kataang week 2021 #kataang week #itsmoonpeaches fanfic #katara #kataangtag #kataang #aang #atla #atla fanfic #avatar the last airbender #tw: implied suicide

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Dark”

Welcome back, everyone! Can you believe it's been six weeks already? I can't. Something something the uncomfortable passage of time during a pandemic as emphasized by a web-series.

But we're here to talk about RWBY the fictional story, not RWBY the cultural icon. At least, we will in a moment. First, I'd like to acknowledge that shaky line between the two, growing blurrier with every volume. A sort of good news, bad news situation.

The bad news — to get that out of the way — is that we cannot easily separate RWBY from its authors and those authors have, sadly, been drawing a lot of negative attention as of late. This isn't anything new, not at all, but I think the unexpectedly long hiatus gave a lot of fans (myself included) the chance to think about Rooster Teeth's failings without getting distracted by their biggest and brightest production. There's a laundry list of problems here — everything from the behavior of voice actors to the quality of their merch — but as a sort of summary issue, I'd like to highlight the reviews that continue to pop up on websites like Glassdoor, detailing the toxic, sexist, crunch-obsessed environment that RT employees are forced to work in. A lot of these websites requires a login to read more than a page of reviews, but you can check out a Twitter thread about it here.

Now, I want to be clear: I'm not bringing this up as a way to shame anyone enjoying RWBY. This isn't a simplistic claim of, "The authors are Problematic™ and therefore you can't like the stuff they produce." Nor is this meant to be a catch-all excuse for RWBY's problems. If it were, I'd have dropped these recaps years ago. I'm of the belief that audiences maintain the right to both praise and criticize the work they're given, regardless of the context in which that work was produced. At the end of the day, RT has presented RWBY as a finished product and, more than that, presents it as an excellent product, one worth both our emotional investment and our money (whether in the form of paying for a First account, or encouraging us to buy merch, attend cons, etc.) I'll continue to critique RWBY as needed, but I a) wanted fans to be at least peripherally aware of these issues and b) clarify that my use of "RT" in statements like, "I can't believe RT is screwing up this badly" is meant to be a broad, nebulas acknowledgement that someone in the company is screwing up, either creatively (doesn't have the skill to write a good scene) or morally (hasn't created an environment in which other creators are capable of crafting a good scene). The real, inner workings of such companies are mostly a secret to their audiences and thus it's near impossible for someone like me — random fan writing these for fun as a casual side hobby — to accurately point fingers. Hence, broad "RT." I just wanted to clarify that when I use this it's as a necessary placeholder for whoever is actually responsible, not a damnation of the overworked animator breaking down in a bathroom. Heavy stuff, but I thought it was necessary (or at least worthwhile) to acknowledge this issue as we head into the second half of the volume.

Now for the good news: RWBY has reached 100 episodes! For any who may not know, 100 is a pretty significant number in the TV world because, when talking about prime time programming, it guarantees syndicated reruns. Basically, networks don't want audiences to get burned out with a show — changing the channel when it comes on because ugh, I've seen this already, recently too — and 100 episodes allows for a roughly five month run without any repeats, making it very profitable. RWBY is obviously not a television show and doesn't benefit from any of this (hell, modern television doesn't benefit from this as much as it used to, not in the age of streaming), but the 100 episode threshold is still ingrained in American culture. Beyond just being a nice, rounded number, it is historically a measure of huge success and I can't imagine that RT isn't aware of that. Regardless of what we think of RWBY's current quality, this is one hell of a milestone and should be applauded.

All that being said... RWBY's quality is definitely still lacking lol.

Our 100th episode is titled "Dark" — keeping with the one word titles, then — and I'd like to emphasize that, as a 100th episode, it definitely delivers in terms of plot. There's plenty of action, important character beats, and at least one major reveal, everything we'd expect from a milestone and a Part II premiere. The animation also continues to be noteworthy for its beauty, as I found myself admiring many of the screenshots I took for this recap. There are certainly things to praise. The only problem (one we're all familiar with by now) is that these small successes are situated within a narrative that's otherwise falling apart. It's all good stuff... provided you ignore literally everything else surrounding it.

But let's dive into some examples. We open on Qrow starting, awoken by the thunder outside. Robyn has been watching him and makes a peppy comment about how none of them will be sleeping tonight, followed by a more serious, "Sounds bad out there." Yeah, it does sound bad, especially when they all know — thanks to Ruby's message back in Volume 7 — that this is due to Salem's arrival. I think a lot of the fandom has forgotten that little detail because people often discuss Qrow as if he is entirely ignorant of what is going on outside his cell. Even if we were to assume that he's forgotten all about the pesky Salem issue (the horror of Clover's death overriding everything else, perhaps) he still knows that Tyrian is running loose in a heat-less city with a creepy storm going on and, from his perspective, the Very Evil Ironwood is still running the show. So it's bad, which begs the question of why Qrow (and Robyn, for that matter) hasn't displayed an ounce of legitimate worry for everyone he knows out there. Thus far, their interactions have centered entirely around Qrow's misplaced blame and Robyn's terrible attempts to lighten the mood, despite the fact that a war is raging right beyond that wall. It's another example of RWBY's inability to manage tone properly, to say nothing of balancing the multiple concerns any one character should be trying to juggle. Just as it rankles that Ruby and Yang don't seem to care about what has happened to their uncle, Qrow likewise doesn't seem to care about what might be happening to his nieces. When did we reach a point where these relationships are so broken that someone can be arrested/chucked into a deadly battle and the others just... ignore that?

So Robyn's otherwise innocuous comment immediately reminds me of how badly the narrative has treated these conflicts and, sadly, things don't improve much from here. We are thankfully spared more of Robyn's jokes when Qrow realizes that what he's hearing can't be thunder. A second later, Cinder blasts through the wall — called it! — and Qrow instinctively transforms.

The only downside to this moment is that the whole ceiling falls down on Qrow and the others because APPARENTLY these cells don't have tops on them. Seriously. As far as I can recall we don't see the stone breaking through the forcefield somehow and this looks pretty open to me.

If it is... you're telling me these crazy powerful fighters who practice landing strategies and leap tall buildings in a single bound —

— can't just hop over this mildly high electric fence to get out? Qrow can't just fly away?

We're, like, two minutes in, folks.

We transfer to Nora's perspective as she wakes up, seeing Klein giving her the IV. He tells her not to worry, that "you and your friend are going to be just fine." What friend? Penny? Klein went upstairs prior to Weiss hugging Whitley or Penny crash landing outside. I had thought them bursting through the door with another unconscious friend was the first time he learned what the big bang outside was, but apparently not.

Penny is, obviously, a mess. While I now understand the choice to make her blood such an eye-catching color when that's crucial to the Hound's hunt, I still think it looks strange visually. Like someone has taken a copy of RWBY and painted over it. It doesn't look like it fits the art style. More than that, it implies some rather complicated things about Penny's humanity, especially in a volume focused around her being a "real girl." Real enough for Maiden powers, but with obviously inhuman blood that isn't even referred to as "bleeding." Penny "leaks" instead.

Toss in the fact that she's literally an android who is made up of tech — recall the running gags about her being heavy, or it hurts to fist-bump her, to say nothing of keeping things like multiple blades inside her body — yet Klein says that her "basic anatomy" is the same and he can "stitch up that wound."

I'm sorry, what? Whatever Penny looks like on the inside, it's not going to resemble a human woman's anatomy, and Klein might be able to stitch the outer layer of skin she's got, but that won't do anything to fix whatever metal bits have been broken underneath. Penny isn't a human-robot hybrid, she's a robot with an aura. Penny has knives in her back, rockets in her feet, and a super computer behind her eyes. When our clip introduced that Klein would be the one to help Penny, my initial reaction was, "Seriously? He's a butler and a doctor and an engineer?" But RWBY didn't even try to get away with a Super Klein explanation, they just waved away Penny's very obvious, inhuman anatomy. Yeah, I'm sure "stitching up" an android wound is just like giving Nora her IV. I hope the surgical sutures he used are extra strong!

In an effort to not entirely drag this episode, I do appreciate that Whitley is allowed an "ugh" moment about the non-blood covering his shirt without anyone calling him out on it. That felt like the sort of thing the show would usually try to make a character feel guilty about and I'm glad that, for once, he was just allowed to be frustrated without comment.

Then the power goes out and May calls, which raises questions about what state the CCTS is in and when scrolls are available to our protagonists vs. when they're not. But whatever. She's checking in because she just "saw another bombing run light up the Kingdom" and —

Wait. Bombing? Salem is bombing the city? I know we've seen explosions in the sky, but I'd always just attributed that to evil aesthetic. Why does this dialogue sound like it's from a World War II film and not a fantasy sci-fi show about literal monsters launching a ground attack?

May looks pretty against the sky though. I like her hair color against that purple.

I'm admittedly grasping at positives here because we finally return to her "You have to choose" ultimatum and — surprise! — May has pulled back completely. Ruby says that once they've helped Penny, "We'll...we'll do something!" which is once again her avoiding making a decision. Ruby still refuses to choose, instead falling back on generic, optimistic pep talks. They'll figure out how to stop Salem later. They'll think about the impact of telling the world later. They'll choose who to help later. Ruby keeps pushing these problems into the future where, she hopes, a perfect, magical solution will have appeared for her to latch onto. When that continues to not happen, others pressuring her to actually do something and stop waiting for perfection — Ironwood, Yang, May — she panics and continues stalling for time. Wait an episode and the narrative supports her in this.

Because initially May was forcing Ruby to decide. Now, May enables her desire to keep putting things off. "Don't beat yourself up, kid. At this point, I don't know how much is left to be done." That's the exact opposite of what May believed last episode, that there was still so much work and good to do for the people of Mantle. This is precisely what the show did with Yang and Ren's scenes too, having people call Ruby out... but then return to a message of, 'Don't worry, you're actually doing just fine' before Ruby is forced to actually change.

None of which even touches on May calling her "kid" in this moment. That continues to be a convenient way of absolving Ruby of any responsibility. When she wants to steal airships or Amity Tower, she's an adult everyone should listen to, the leader of this war. When the story wants to absolve her of previously mentioned flaws, she becomes a kid who shouldn't "beat herself up." I said years ago that RWBY couldn't continue to let the group be both children and adults simultaneously, yet here we are.

So that was a thoroughly disappointing scene. Ruby gets her moment to look sad and defeated, listing "the grimm, the crater, Nora, Penny" as problems she doesn't know how to solve. Note that 'Immortal witch attacking the city I've helped trap here' isn't included in that list. Ruby is still ignoring Salem herself and no one in the group is picking up where May left off, challenging her to do more than wring her hands over things others are already trying to take care of: Ironwood is fighting the grimm, May has gone off to help the crater, Klein is patching up Nora and Penny. Ruby, as one flawed individual, should not be expected to come up with a solution to everything, but she does need to stop acting like she can come up with a solution to everything when it matters most (office scene) and rejecting others' solutions when they ask for her help (Ironwood, May).

If it feels like I'm dragging the flawed, traumatized teenager too much, it's not in an effort to ignore those aspects of her identity. Rather, it's because she's also the licensed huntress who wrested control from a world leader and violently demanded she be put in charge of this battle. Ruby, by her own actions, is now responsible for dealing with these problems, or admitting she was wrong and letting others take the lead, without purposefully derailing their plans. She doesn't get to suddenly go, "I don't know," cry a little, and get sympathetic pats.

But of course that's precisely what happens, courtesy of Weiss.

During this whole scene I kept wondering why no one was celebrating Nora waking up, especially when Ruby outright mentions her. Have they just not noticed given all the Penny drama? Because Nora absolutely woke up.

Aaaand went back to sleep, I guess. What was the point of that POV shot? No worries though, she'll wake up again in a minute.

Willow arrives and announces that they can fix the power (and Penny) using the generator at the edge of the property. I'm convinced RT doesn't actually know what a generator is because the characters are acting like it's some super special device that only richy-rich could possibly have. Whitley says that it's the SDC executives who have their "own power supply" and that it's "extremely unfair." Now, don't get me wrong, a good generator powering large portions of your house can run you 30k+, but you can also get one that plugs into your extension cord and powers your fridge for a couple hundred. There's absolutely a class issue here, just not the one Whitley and Weiss seem to be commenting on. They make a generator sound like the sort of device that only a politician-CEO could possible have and it's weird.

Likely, it sounds weird because it's a choppy way of getting Whitley to bring up the wealth disparity so he can then go, 'That's right! We're crazy rich with a company housing tons of ships! We can use those to evacuate Mantle.' Awkwardness aside, I do like that the Schnee wealth is being used for good purposes, but... evacuate where? To the city currently under attack by a giant whale? In a RWBY that wasn't determined to demonize Ironwood, this would have been a great plot point during the office scene instead, with Weiss offering her services to Ironwood, even if the group decides that a continued evacuation still isn't possible.

Instead, we get it here from Whitley. Do I need to point out the obvious? That Whitley is the MVP of this episode? He's done more good in an HOUR than the group has managed in a year. Give this kid some training and make him a huntsmen instead.

We're given a (very pretty!) shot of the shattered moon because it wouldn't be RWBY if we weren't continually reminded that gods once wiped out humanity before destroying part of a celestial body... and absolutely no one talks about that lol.

Blake's coat might not make any sense for her color scheme, but it does make her easy to spot as she and Ruby run across the grounds. Oh my god, they're actually doing something together! It only took eight years. They even get a lovely talk where Blake admits how much she looks up to Ruby, despite her being younger, and once again I'm struck at how much more I would have loved this scene if it had appeared elsewhere in the series. It is, indeed, as sweet and emotional as all the RWBY GIF-ers are claiming... provided you overlook that this is the exact opposite of what Ruby needs to hear right now. She doesn't need to hear that she's more mature and reliable than her elders when she's functioning under a "We don't need adults" mentality. She doesn't need to hear that not knowing what to do is totally fine, not when that led to her turning on Ironwood, despite not knowing how to stop Salem. She doesn't need to hear that "doing something" — doing anything — is a strength, because Ruby keeps avoiding the big problems for smaller ones she's comfortable with, like standing by Penny's bedside instead of deciding between Mantle and Atlas. Blake's speech is heartfelt, but it's a speech that suits a Beacon days Ruby who is having some doubts about her leadership skills, not the girl whose impulsive — and now lack of — actions is having world-wide repercussions. Everyone is babying Ruby to a staggering degree. It's like if we had a med show where the doctor is standing by the bedside of a coding patient, fretting between two treatments. 'Don't worry,' their colleague says, patting their shoulder. 'I've always looked up to you. You'll do something when you're ready' and then they continue to watch the patient, you know, die.

Also: who does Ruby look up to? Everyone talks about how much they depend on and trust Ruby, but who does Ruby look to for guidance? A number of her problems stem from the fact that she has rejected the advice of everyone who has tried to help her improve: Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, even Yang. Ruby is presented as the pinnacle of what to strive for in a leader, rather than a leader who has only been doing this for two years and still has a great deal to learn.

Anyway, they get the generator on and the Hound shows up.

I am begging RT to just make RWBY a horror story. All their best scenes the last three years have been horror I am bEGGING —

Anyway, while Ruby waits to be eaten we cut to Willow and Klein, the former of which is reaching for her bottle, pulling back, reaching again, all while her hand shakes. This is good. This is what we should have gotten with Qrow. Which isn't to say that their (or anyone's) addiction should be identical, but rather that this is a far more engaging and complex look at addiction than what our birb got. Willow tells us that she doesn't drink in the dark despite bringing the bottle with her; tries to resist drinking when she's scared and ultimately fails. Qrow just decided to stop drinking after decades of addiction, seemingly for no reason, and that was that. Why is a side character we only met this volume written better than one of the main cast?

Blake manages to call Weiss about the Hound and she asks if Whitley can handle the airships without her. I mean, I assume so given that Weiss is looking at the bookshelves while Whitley does all the work lol. He makes a teasing comment about how he can if she can handle that grimm and she comments that they still need to work on his "attitude."

No they don't. Weiss stuck a weapon in her kid brother's face. Whitley made a joke. Even if Weiss' comment is likewise meant to be read as teasing, it's clear that we've bypassed any meaningful conversation between them. That hug was supposed to be a Fix Everything moment even though, as I've laid out elsewhere, it didn't even come close.

We cut back to Ruby getting thrown through a wall into the backyard and the Hound creepily coming after her. She's freaked out by this clearly abnormal grimm and Blake is weirdly... not? "It's just a grimm. Just focus!" Uh, it's obviously not. Have we reached the traumatized, sleep-deprived point where the group is sinking into full-blown denial? I wouldn't be surprised. They've been awake for like... 40+ hours.

Because the Hound knocks Ruby out with a single hit. Just, bam, she's down. "Focusing" is not the solution here.

Weiss calls to warn the others about the grimm, telling them to stick together. Willow (understandably) starts freaking out and flees the room (classic horror trope!). Klein is left alone when Penny wakes up with red eyes. Oh no!

Don't worry. You know nothing meaningful happens.

She shoves Klein before (somehow?) resisting the hack, her Maiden powers going wild in the process. Just when it looks as if Penny might cause some serious damage, Nora wakes up, takes her hand, and says, I kid you not:

"Hey... no one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do... It's just a part of you. Don't forget about the rest."

Okay. I want to re-emphasize that I love hopeful, uplifting, victory-won-through-the-power-of-love stories. Istg I'm not dead inside, it's just that RWBY does this so badly. I mean, what is this? It has similarities to the character shouting, 'No! Resist!' to their mind-controlled ally, but this is not presented as a desperate, last-ditch effort by Nora. She just speaks like this is the most obvious truth in the world. If you don't want to have your mind taken over... just don't! It's that simple. The problem definitely isn't that Watts has changed her coding and has implemented a command she can't override, it's that Penny has forgotten about the "rest" of her personhood.

And this works. Granted, not for long, but we leave Nora having successfully calmed Penny down and until her eyes unexpectedly go red again scenes later, we're left assuming that this is a permanent solution. That, imo anyway, is taking the Power of Love too far, overriding the basic reality of Penny being hacked. It’s not a personal failing she must overcome, it’s an external attack. I would have rather had Nora react to the scars she saw on her arm, or have a moment with Klein, or get some love from the group. Not a wakes up, falls asleep, wakes up again to save Penny with a Ruby level 'Just ignore reality' pep-talk, then back to sleep again.

So Penny isn't attacking her allies, or mistakenly hurting her allies with wild Maiden powers. Not that the group doesn't have enough to deal with, but still. Weiss arrives to help with the Hound and attempts a new summon, only to fail when two minor grimm burrow up into her glyphs. I really enjoyed that moment, both for the wing visual and the knowledge that Weiss' glyphs can fail if you break them somehow (which makes sense). Also, I just like that she failed in general? Weiss is, as per usual now, about to demonstrate just how OP she is compared to the rest of the team, so it was nice to see her faltering here.

The Hound tries to make off with Ruby and Blake does an excellent job of keeping it tethered. Ruby finally wakes, only to realize that the grimm is actually after Penny since it's staring at her power up through the window, no longer trying to escape. Moments like this remind me that there's someone on RT's writing team that knows what they're doing, at least some of the time. The assumption that the Hound is after Ruby as a SEW, the surprise that it's actually Penny, realizing it holds up because Ruby is covered in Penny's blood and Blake is not... that's all nice, tight plotting. More of that please!

The Hound drops her and Ruby's aura shatters when she hits the ground. I want everyone to remember this moment as an example of how strong the Hound is. The group may be tired, but unlike YJR they've been sitting around in the Schnee manor for a number of hours, regaining strength. We saw the Hound hit Ruby twice — once through the wall and once to knock her out — and then she falls from a not very high distance for a huntress, yet her aura is toast. That's the level of power and skill the Hound possesses. Decimating YJR, knocking Oscar out, same for Ruby, avoiding Blake and Weiss' hits, soon to treat Penny like a ragdoll. Just remember all this for the episode's end.

Blake tells Weiss she'll take care of Ruby, you go help the others. Yay breaking up the duos more! Bad timing though as the new acid-spitting grimm pops out of the ground and Blake is now left alone to face it.

Weiss re-enters the mansion, knowing the Hound is somewhere nearby, but not where. Suddenly, Willow's voice sounds through her scroll with an, "Above you!" which... doesn't keep Weiss from getting hit lol. But it's the thought that counts! Willow has accessed the cameras she's set up throughout the manor, watching the Hound's movements, and I have to say, that is a WAY better use of her separation from Klein than I thought we were getting. I legit thought they'd have Willow run away in a panic, meet the Hound, die, and then Weiss could be sad about losing her mom.

It does say something about RWBY's writing that this was my knee-jerk theory, as well as my surprise when we got something way better.

The Hound runs off, uninterested in Weiss, and she asks Willow to keep tabs on it. It heads for Whitley next (also covered in Penny's blood) and very creepily stalks him in the office with a, "I know you're here." Whitley is seconds away from being Hound chow before one of Weiss' boars pin it against the wall. He runs, then runs BACK to finish deploying the airships, before finally escaping assumed death. Goddamn this boy is pulling his weight.

I assume all these ships are automated then? I hope someone takes a moment to call May. Otherwise it's going to be super weird for the Mantle citizens if a fleet of SDC ships just show up and hover there...

I don't entirely understand how Weiss saved him though. She's nowhere to be seen when Whitley leaves and he runs a fair distance before he and Willow encounter Weiss again. We know her summons don't have to keep right next to her, but are they capable of rudimentary thought, attacking an enemy — and an enemy only — despite Weiss being a couple corridors down and unable to see the current battlefield? I don't know. In another series I'd theorize that this was a deliberate hint, a way to clue us into the fact that Willow, someone who we currently know almost nothing about, had training in the past and summoned the boar herself. Weiss and Winter certainly didn't get that hereditary skill from Jacques. Hell, we might still get that, Weiss reacting with confusion next episode when Whitley thanks her for the boar, but I doubt it. That scene with Ruby and the Hound aside, the show isn't this good at laying groundwork and then following up on it.

Case in point: Weiss says, "I didn't forget you" to Whitley after he gets away from the Hound, the moment trying to harken back to her promise to Willow. Key word is "trying." Because she absolutely forgot him! Weiss threatened and ignored Whitley until he proved his usefulness. I also shouldn't need to point out that, "Don't forget your brother" does not mean, "Don't let your brother die a horrible death by abnormal grimm." Weiss acts like her saving him is a fulfillment of her promise, rather than just the most basic of human decency. And also, you know, her job.

So that part is frustrating. The entire Schnee dynamic is a mess, from Weiss making a joke of her father's arrest, to Willow (presumably) fixing their relationship by putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. Okay.

Then Weiss cuts off the Hound by summoning a giant wall of ice. My brain, every time this happens:

YOU COULD HAVE FIXED THE HOLE IN MANTLE'S WALL.

Moving on, Blake's fight against the acid... thing has some great choreography, including Blake using her semblance which we haven't seen in AGES.

I really like the fight itself, just not what Blake is shouting the whole time. "I need you, Ruby! We all need you!" This has really gotten ridiculous. Ruby is presented as everyone's sole savior despite failing time and time again. It's not that I don't think Blake as a character should have faith in her leader, it's that I don't think the writers should be crafting a story where everyone puts their unshakable hopes in an untrained, disloyal, impulsive 17 year old. I mean, Ruby is currently unconscious, yet Blake is acting like if she doesn't wake up — she, as an individual, if Ruby Rose does not re-join this fight — then all is lost. If Ruby doesn't save them, no one can. Which is, of course, absurd on numerous levels. Blake doesn't need the passed out, aura-less Ruby right now, she needs the still very healthy Weiss pulling out multiple summons and an ice wall! Use your scroll and call for backup again.

But of course, Ruby wakes up and kills the new, terrifying grimm with a single hit. It's a preview of what's to come with the Hound and it's just as ridiculous here as it will be there.

Speaking of the Hound, am I the only one who thought this was... cute?

I can't possibly be the only one. That head-tilt is exactly what my dogs do and my brain instinctively went, "Aww, puppy!"

Murderous puppy.

The Hound realizes none of the Schnees are who it's looking for and runs off. Penny, meanwhile, has been fully taken over because, well, that's just what's convenient now. She resists long enough keep Amity up, then succumbs, then resists to apologize to Ruby, then succumbs, then resists because Nora asked her to, then succumbs once it's time to knock her out. If RWBY was willing to commit to consequences, Penny would have been taken over and that was that. The characters would need to deal with whatever outcome happens as a result. Instead, the show very carefully avoids any of those pesky consequences by having Penny successfully resisting at key moments, despite no explanation of how she's managing that.

She shoves Klein again (Klein is having a Bad Time) and starts walking down the main steps. When Whitley wants to know where the hell she's going, Penny mechanically responds that she must "Open the vault, then self-destruct." I suppose the change Watts made was the self-destruct order? Ironwood obviously wants the vault open, though not necessarily Penny's death. Think what you will of his moral compass, she's a damn powerful ally — a research project, perhaps — and a Maiden to boot. At the very least, her death may give the powers to someone even worse.

God, please don't let them have brought Penny back and made her a Maiden just to kill her again.

The Hound arrives though and, as said, knocks Penny out. We're back to square one with her, then. Note though that this attack is near instantaneous. She grabs its hands one second, is hanging limply the next. Wow, the Hound sure is a terrifying antagonist!

Not for long.

"That's enough," Ruby says and one-shots it with her eyes.

Now, I want to talk for a moment about the implications of that line. "That's enough." Obviously Ruby is #done with this situation and emotionally unwilling to let the Hound kidnap Penny (congratulations, Nuts and Dolts shippers), but there's a meta reading here as well. Not intentional, but glaring to me nonetheless. Basically, the idea that the Hound has, from a plot perspective, done enough. It has served its singular purpose. It kidnapped Oscar and now it dies. Never-mind how insanely powerful we've established the Hound to be, never-mind how Ruby's eyes also work or don't work according to whether anything of actual import is on the line. From a plot perspective "that's enough" and the Hound can be disposed of instantly. It got Oscar and gave us an episode of filler creepiness. Move along now.

The idea behind Ruby's eyes isn't bad, but the execution absolutely is. RT has undermined a huge portion of the stakes by giving their protagonist an instant kill-shot that always works precisely when she needs it to. Starting with the Apathy, we have yet to get a moment where Ruby's eyes fail to save the day when she really needs them to, no matter how incredible the challenge. The Hound was very intentionally written to be a grimm outside of the group's current power level. It thinks, it talks, they literally can't touch it. This creates the expectation that the group will need to grow stronger — or at least become smarter — in order to surmount this new obstacle, yet Ruby's eyes undermine all of that. The group hasn't grown in years, the show just makes enemies weaker as needed (Ace Ops), or has Ruby pull out her eyes as a trump card. It wouldn't be that bad if we'd at least gotten a good battle out of it, one where the group gets close to defeating the Hound on their own, but needs Ruby's eyes to finish it off. Instead, she literally walks up without any aura, announces to the audience that this antagonist's time is up, and blasts it out a window.

Granted, Ruby's eyes don't completely finish it. The Hound pulls itself to its feet and we see this.

Yup, that's a guy and yup, those are silver eyes.

I would like to issue a formal apology to the "It's secretly Summer!" theorists in the fandom. I mean, I still think it would be ridiculous (and at this point highly improbable) that Ruby's dead mother has actually been a grimm mutant this whole time, just hanging out in Salem's realm while she waits for the plot to start before attacking the world, and then sends some no-name faunus dude after the group instead of their leader's mother for extra, emotional torture... but you all were definitely right about the “It's a person” part! I... don't know how I feel about this. Admittedly, it seems to be a logical continuation of the other grimm-human hybrids we've seen — namely Cinder and Salem herself — and it finally explains why Salem wants Ruby alive (even though it actually doesn't because WHY did she want more SEWs for Hound grimm when she wasn't even attacking back then? And already has all these other insanely powerful tools??), but at the same time, it feels like it's complicating a story that doesn't need further complications. The group fights monsters and has an immortal enemy. You don't need to add 'Some of those monsters are secretly human' to the mix.

It doesn't hurt that this twist is giving me Attack on Titan vibes, which, ew. A dark time in my fandom life, folks.

The Hound staggers a few steps before Whitley and Willow dump a suit of armor on it. That's all it takes to kill the most dangerous grimm we've ever seen: a single flash of silver eyes and some heavy metal. This also wreaks havoc with the implication that Salem wants SEWs alive because they create such powerful grimm. Obviously not. I mean yeah, normal huntsmen are going to have serious problems, we’ve seen that this volume, but any other SEWs nearby will take a Hound out instantaneously. For a villain with so many other powerful abilities — immortality, magic, endless normal grimm, her nifty soup — Salem would be much better served just killing SEWs straight out. Clearly, creating Hounds isn't worth the effort.

The Hound leaves some bones behind and Ruby collapses to her knees, overcome with the knowledge that this was once a person. Again, uncomfortable Attack on Titan parallels.

We finish our premiere with Cinder clearing away rubble to reveal Watts. Honestly, I like that we ended on this because her rescue is hilarious. She just slings him over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes and blasts off with her magic fire feet. Fantastic.

Note though that with this scene we've seen almost everything from the clip and the trailer. What's to come in the rest of Volume 8? No idea. Outside of Winter leading the charge with the bomb, we got it all here.

Time to update the bingo board!

I'm crossing off "Introducing new grimm that are quickly abandoned." Between the Hound and acid-dude both falling to a single blast/cut from Ruby, we've more than earned this square.

It doesn't look as if we'll get another Watts-Jacques team-up now that he's left, but you never know.

Maria's got me worried. I feel like her Yoda fight against Neo is the one thing she'll be allowed to do this volume, but given that we didn't see anyone except Ruby's group this episode, we don't yet know whether the story is now ignoring her and Pietro, or if they'll re-appear in another episode like YJR.

Qrow is free. Will he get a drink before trying to murder Ironwood? Perhaps.

Still no bingo :(

All in all, the episode was by no means horrible. I think there were lots of horrible parts, but also some legitimately well executed moments, fun action, and scenes that I can easily imagine as squee worthy if you lean back and squint. Everything is comparative and in the growing collection of bad RWBY episodes, this one isn't securing a top slot. Which doesn't mean I think it's good, just... not as bad as it could have been and primarily only bad due to long-running problems, not things this specific episode has done. That's my bar then, so low it has officially entered the underworld.

Still, RWBY is back and a part of me is eager to see where this volume takes us, for better or for worse.

Until next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #mymetas #rwby recaps #rwby dark

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raschuuuu · 3 years

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WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK? // M.YG angst (Suga)

Summary: You finally had your debut with your girl group with Big Hit entertainment. That was your absolute biggest dream but what happens when you have to decide now? Do you want to live your idol life and let the love of your life go for it? Or do you decide for the life of your life?

Word count: 5k

Genre: angst

warnings: established relationship / swearing / soft yoongi / mentioning of breakups / mentioning of suicide/death

Pairing: Yoongi!idol x female idol!reader

A/N: Hello guuuuys! Today I hope very much that you will like this one here! I didn't get any requests so I want to say it again one more time: FEEL FREE TO SEND ME YOUR REQUESTS!!! 😟🥺It’s my second fanfic on this blog I worked very hard on it so I really really hope you guys will enjoy it. If you guys think I could do anything better or you have another preferences please let me know. I’d be very happy if you guys leave a like so I know you read it and liked it. Another note: English is not my first language I’m very sorry if you guys find any mistakes.. 💔

_____________________________________________________________________________

5th December 2020

What could be better than having a debut just before the year ends? My group and I were supposed to have our debut much earlier but that was postponed due to the COVID pandemic so it was complicated to have a debut this year but nevertheless our company managed to give us a debut before the year ends and I really have to say it's the best thing that could ever happen to me!

My dream has finally come true. How long was I a trainee? Exactly. Six years. Six freaking years I was hidden behind the scenes of my big and famous company. It feels really shitty to be in the shadow of two famous groups in South Korea. Don't get me wrong I'm a really big fan of BTS and TXT but we got tired of being told that we're going to make our debut but at the end we didn’t. I know the guys from BTS and TXT personally and we all get along super well even the other members of my group. But to be honest BTS and TXT couldn't wait for our debut to happen and finally it's here (y/g/n) finally gets the recognition.

31st December 2020

Of course our lives have changed dramatically since we made our debut. Of course it's much harder to go out alone now than before. Before I was a nobody. No one knew me but now I don't even dare to go alone to the convenient store that is just around the corner of our dorm. You might think I'm exaggerating a bit but no, unfortunately it's the truth. Nevertheless, I don't want to spoil my idol life. After our debut we had a lot of promotions and interviews. But even before that we didn't have much time because we had to shoot our music video and photo shoots and we were all sent to the hairdresser because our old look was officially bye bye. I’m happy with my new look I think I look so beautiful I can't believe what a haircut and a nice makeup can do to a person.

Today is the 31st of December. New Year's Eve! New year takes place in less than 24 hours! Where am I? I'm at this year's MBC Gayo DaeJeon. My first new year's eve without my family and officially my first new year's eve as an idol. I'm so excited I can't believe it I'm going to be on stage with my girls and I'm meeting other idols how exciting is that. I'm sitting in the makeup room getting my makeup done by our makeup artist and on the side our hairstylist is making me a high ponytail. I hope I'll look good. Dabi, the oldest of our group and therefore our Unni, has just finished and looks adorable. Miso sits to my left and is also getting her make-up and hair done. Hyemi is getting ready after me because she doesn't take up much time. She has the shortest hair of all of us. I’m sitting with my mobile phone in my hand and texting with my mother. Sometimes I wish I could be with her and with my father and my siblings. I miss them all like hell. I haven't seen them since before our debut. I can't wait to hold them all in my arms next time.

(eomma):

y/n we miss you! New year's eve isn't the same without you but hopefully you'll have fun on stage today. We'll all be watching you! Your dad and I your grandparents and your siblings so don't worry we're always with you! Good luck my child fighting! 🎉🎆

I notice how i get tears in my eyes but no I mustn't cry my makeup gets ruined. Just as I want to answer my mother i get a new text on my phone.

(yoongi):

I'm excited to see you tonight! You'll be great I believe in you.

By the way... I guess I didn't tell you that I'm dating Min Yoongi. That's right, Min Yoongi.

flashback

2014

"Y/n! We're about to meet BTS!" says Hyemi as I just walked into the dance practice room. What BTS? The group that made their debut last year? "Really why?" I ask looking at her confused. Apparently all new trainee male or female, are introduced to BTS because they want to give us some nice words and encouragement on our way as trainees. Just as I was about to sit down, the seven men came in the door. One after the other, they passed us by. Wow, these guys can count themselves lucky that their time is up. But one boy in particular stands out to me. He has red hair. Not too light and not too dark, a red that almost goes brown. He is beautiful.

I haven't really informed myself about who BTS is, of course I still have difficulties to remember their names, I just became a trainee before I didn't care who was a trainee here... but this man is beautiful!

Oh crap he looks at me. Why is he looking at me. Someone tell him to look the other way please I’m so awkward I don't know how to act when someone looks at me I better look the other way. The leader said some nice words to us they all wished us luck and said that they can't wait for us to make our debut and that when the day comes they're all gonna be happy and supportive! Really nice of them I never thought that they would do something like that. We all got up and bowed and said thank you, while BTS was about to walk out I saw the red haired boy looking at me one last time before he went out. Crazy man do I have something on my face stop staring!

2015

I started to get to know them better each and every one of them. I get along best with Hoseok and Taehyung. Every now and then we run into each other in the building and talk for a few minutes. We trainees also got to meet all the guys in person, they are all so nice and down to earth I don't regret it one bit that I joined this company! Jungkook is about my age and every now and then we have a few laughs together. Once you are in the company you are like one big family whether it is with the trainees or the staff. However I have not been able to get close to one person and that is Min Yoongi. I don't know what it is but every time he and I are in a room with other people it just gets awkward. I don't know what it is but every time he is near me I feel intimidated and just want to get out of there. We've never spoken a word to be honest maybe it's because he feels awkward around me too? I can't understand why he feels this way I always try to get along with everyone even if i don't want to and make everyone feel comfortable around me because I want it to be mutual. So what's his problem?

2016

I have heard from his members that he has a crush on me and gets shy around me which I totally don't understand because how can anyone be into me? Especially back then! I don't want to go into too much detail but I can tell you that after a while and with the help of Hoseok and Taehyung he and I started texting at some point. We had been friends for a long time but only online. We were both too nervous to meet in person and to be honest that had been impossible because he was busy as fuck and no one was supposed to find out that we were texting. BTS recognition grew more and more each year and he became busier and busier each day. I was of course very happy for everyone and one rainy day in the evening Yoongi appeared out of nowhere on my doorstep and confessed his love to me. I am still overwhelmed by it and it all feels so unreal and like it just happened yesterday, but I went for it and agreed to be his girlfriend.

back to December 31st 2020

For four years we have been hiding our relationship. Nobody knows about it the whole Big Hit staff doesn't know about it and neither do our managers the only ones who know about it are his members and recently my members. I didn't want to tell them until we made our debut together because I was too scared of being told off during my trainee time. But I have to say that the girls stand behind me and accept our relationship and they all swore they would take it to the grave with them.

I quickly turn down the brightness of my screen because there's too much danger of my hairstylist and makeup artist reading the text. I close my phone and put it on my lap. How much I want to answer him but I don't dare I can't answer him when there are too many people around me. After a while we were called and it was finally our turn I'm so nervous but we managed it all with flying colors and we were the topic of the evening.

In a few minutes it's already new year I'm ready and let 2021 come to me. At midnight Yoongi calls me and I answer the phone with joy.

"Happy new year y/n! I love you and I hope we will spend more time together this year even though it will be harder now." I smile to myself and say "Happy new year Yoongi... how is your shoulder? Are you resting enough? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping enough? Are you in pain? If you are in pain then take a painkiller and go back to the doctor!" I can't see it but I can tell he is grinning and shaking his head. I don't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Don't worry I’m fine I just miss you you're the only painkiller I can take" - "Hahaha yah! You're so corny! I miss you too sweetheart I wish we had spent this new year together... I’m sorry it turned out like this!" I feel really bad because I know he won't be able to spend new year with his boys or me... To be honest we have never had a new year together except on the phone but this time it could have worked out! He is at home with his injury and if we wouldn't have had our debut then we would have had a first new year together after four years of relationship!

January 10th 2021

At the beginning of the new year our manager gave us our schedule plan at it looked hella busy! This whole January we would be completely busy we don't even have one weekend off! I can’t believe it how will I able to see my family or even Yoongi? I saw him at the first weekend of January we spent it together at his family’s house in Daegu behause to be honest that is actually the only place that we can go to a little far away from Seoul without having to worry that any of the staff could know or see us. My family also knows and loves him to death but with my family living in Seoul it’s complicated to take him there. Our manager left the room and I looked at Dabi with the ‘You and I bathroom NOW!’ look she understood and got up from her place and she followed me to the bathroom. We checked if any other person was inside when there wasn’t I said “What the fuck I’m I gonna do now Unni? How am I able to see Yoongi? How will I be able to even go out. I won’t even have time to take the fucking trash out from our dorm when it’s my turn to clean!” I yell. She stands there giving me a confused look. “What do you expect y/n? You chose to have this idol life you know its busy and complicated to have a boyfriend especially as a fresh debuted idol! Why do you think they won't let us have a relationship? I wish I could help you but I can’t. We’re gonna be busy as fuck!” she yelled back. “Psh shut your volume down unni!” she opened the door to see if there was anyone outside but there wasn’t.

I feel bad I really do. I don't want my members to be in trouble because of me that's the last thing I want. I hug her and apologize to her. I have to think of something I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be away from each other for too long what happens when he stops loving me all of a sudden? What do I do when he goes back to work then it will all be worse! Before I became an idol we could always see each other at the end of the day but now it will be impossible. I have to talk to him about it because one thing we promised each other is that we talk about everything because that's the only way a healthy relationship can work and such a complicated relationship we both have. I take out my phone and write him a message.

(me):

Yoongi. Tonight FaceTime date you and me?

In less than two minutes I already get my answer.

(yoongi):

of course!

evening

I turn on my MacBook and call him on FaceTime. After three rings he answers the phone and turns it off too so he doesn't have to hold it in his hand. He still has his bandage on and his hair is wet he must have been in the shower. He wears cute pyjamas and fight me or not but black haired Yoongi is the most beautiful Yoongi. I always fall in love again when I see him. Hard to believe we were so awkward with each other back then but this year is already approaching 5 years together. I could never imagine my life without him.

"Hey my darling" he says happily and smiles at me. I smile back and ask him how he is. He tells me that he is getting better every day and that during his time off he has found a lot of time for himself and his music and how much he misses the others. And me too, of course. "What's wrong with you?" he asks me when he notices that my mind is somewhere else. I think he took the Facetime date too seriously. He be sitting there with his cup of ramen. I just laugh. "Yoongi... I'm going to be busy all of January and manager oppa said that February might not be any better," I say and wait for his answer. He swallows his noodles and drinks a glass of water. "Does that mean we won't see each other this month?" he asks. I think he's a little disappointed I know him and I know his tones and his looks and I can hear my heart breaking by now. And how much I'd like to see you Yoongi. Every second every day. "No," I say, and then an uncomfortable silence descends.

“You know what baby it’s fine don't worry. I mean I wasn’t any better back then do you remember when I always used to be so busy? I never had time for you and I felt so bad. But you were there for me and you stayed by my side and you were and still are the most supportive girlfriend I could ever ask for. I think it would be unfair to be mad at you. I’m happy for you forever and always” well that was unexpected. I start getting tears in my eyes. I didn't think of this reaction not at all! I smile at him and say “Thank you baby... I will appreciate it I really do. But still I feel bad because especially in this period where you're sick I wish I could be there for you and take care of you. This debut was so unexpected I’m really sorry” - “Yah don't be sorry y/n. You worked your goddamn fine ass off to be where you're at right now be proud of you this is just the beginning. And it’s not like that we won't see each other ever again right?” he says. He’s right. He’s totally right. It’s not like we won't see each other ever again.

January 17th 2020

Well... seven days passed and we still haven't seen each other and we haven't talked since one week. We text every now and then cause I really only get to use my phone when it's night and we go back home but every night I'm so damn exhausted and tired that I forget to answer to his texts. I don't even have time to text my parents back or my siblings. I feel so bad I'm such a bad person. I miss them all so much. I miss my parents. I miss my sister and my brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my boyfriend so damn much. I really didn't think this life is gonna be so hard for me. I feel like I've been put in the middle of a scale with my career on one side and my relationship on the other side and I have to choose one side or the other. I've never thought about breaking up with Yoongi ever in my life. Never. I just can't. I need this man too much. Even though we never have the most beautiful and perfect relationship and see each other very rarely, it's just the thought that I know there's someone in my life who loves me and accepts me for who I am that counts. He took me with my imperfections he put his career what he loves most in his life in risk to be with me and now that we are both in this situation I don't know what to do I feel bad and selfish for even thinking about it I don't want to make him feel like my career is more important than him or our relationship he doesn't deserve that he deserves the world and he deserves to be happy. But I love my career I love my job I love my members I love our staff I love our fans. Our biggest fear was not being accepted by the society outside especially now in this period when BTS is one of the biggest groups in the whole world and have a very big influence in the KPOP industry. We were afraid that society would think that since we are the first girl group to make a Big Hit debut in a very long time that people would think that we would mess with the boys heads or that there would be any rumors started between us and the other groups. But on the contrary people have been happy for us and love our music and us individually. I feel like Hannah Montana I feel like I am living a double life.

20th January 2021

"I know you are overwhelmed with the situation my child, I can imagine that it is very hard for you but you have to know what is best for you. You can't tell anyone from your company, you are a rookie, if they find out you had a boyfriend during your trainee time then it is even worse. I wish I was with you and could help you or just be there for you. I love Yoongi very much but I love you even more and I am happy with any decision you make. Just make the right one" my mother says on the phone. Tears have been flowing since she got on the phone but I don't want to tell her and I try not to sob but I know she can tell by my tone that I am crying. She is right. I have to make a decision. Yoongi is getting better day by day and soon he will be busy too he will go back to his daily routine and the other members. He will have comebacks he will have dance practices he will have to go to the recording studio he will have photo shoots he will do interviews and when the corona situation allows he will have to go to other countries and I have to do the same.

I love him to death and I will never love anyone as much as I love him but I am just not happy like this and you can tell me what you want he is not either but he doesn't let it show. Yesterday on the phone there was such an awkward tension between us it felt like I was making small talk with a stranger. Even though I might be the bad guy but one of us has to make the first move. I have wished and hoped that this day will never come but I have to do it.

23 January 2021

Yoongi told me that he is back in his flat in Seoul with his mother. Unfortunately he still can't travel alone so his dear mum went with him. I missed her too, she's the nicest and sweetest woman ever. When I imagine that I won't see her again either, tears well up in my eyes. But today I have to do it. Who would have thought that our reunion would be like this? Who would have thought that I would break up with him. He won't expect it but I have to do it. I’m cold and sick and I just want to go to bed and get the day over with. It's 11pm at night and we've come home after a long hard day. I look out the window and wait until our manager is out of sight.

My members know about my plans and of course have asked me a million times if I am sure and if there is no other way out. I am very happy that they are worried about me but I also feel bad towards them. I have been hiding it from them all our trainee years and when I told them they were all so good about it and even want me not to do it. But no I will do it I am young and want to concentrate on my career and what is coming up for us.

I told Yoongi that I would come, of course he doesn't want to because it's way too late but I said it was important and that we had to talk about something. When I said we had to talk about something he was quiet and then just said he would wait for me. I put on a hat and a thick jacket and the hood of the jacket and a mask and a scarf and go out into the high snow that has covered Seoul. His flat is not far from mine but still I have to take a taxi. I ask the driver to wait for me because I don't want to stay there long I want to get it over with quickly and go.

(me):

can you come down?

(yoongi):

why don't you come up?

(me):

I think its better when you come down Yoongi I don't want your mom to be worried or hears any of that were gonna talk.

He doesn't text back instead I just see the lights turning on from his window. A few minutes later he comes down. Oh my fucking lord he is so handsome. I want to run up to him and kiss him from head to toe. I want to be in his arms. I want us to go upstairs together and fall asleep together. I want to build a snowman with him. I want to be with him forever I love him he is the love of my life.

He comes up to me and smiles at me. He stands in front of me and we both don't say a word. His smile turns into a confused look he notices something is wrong. "Don't I get a kiss or a hug?" he asks me. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I would love to rip your clothes off Min Yoongi.

"I want to break up." Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Yoongi say something?" I ask him. He says nothing. He looks at me with a blank look he is sad he is disappointed he is devastated just like me. "Yoongi please?". He does not speak.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I-i-I really love you I love you more than anything but I know that I can't give 100% in our relationship now. I just want us to be happy but I see that we are not. It could have been great during your time off but I can't be there for you... sooner or later it should have happened. I want to be with you but I can't anymore it was okay then but it's not okay now we're both famous you're in the biggest boy group in the world if anyone finds out we're together we'll be screwed. Especially me Yoongi. Female idols have it harder than male idols you know that. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think this will be the best thing for us I-" he interrupts me.

"How dare you to tell me what's best for me? Do you have any idea what you're talking about y/n? Stop trying to tell me what's best for me when you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life god damn. I was going through a difficult time in my life and you were the only one who was there for me! And now you're telling me let’s break up because you're afraid people are gonna find out? And that they are gonna blame you? The fuck? Theres always two fucking persons in a relationship y/n! I also wanted that. I wanted you. Don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you love me anymore? We hid our relationship for four fucking years why can't we hide it now?" he said yelling at me.

I am shocked and sad I want to die. I don't want to live in this life without Min Yoongi. But I know it's best for us I do it for him and his career too.

"Yes I don't love you anymore" were my last words before I left.

________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: damn y/n!!! did you just break up with the mf min yoongi? you better save your relationship! guys if you want a part two (with maybe a happy ending?) let me know! love you bye 🎀

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Text

Alt Ending, Part 6

First

Tag: @solangelo252

“I’ll just write one scene”

Good news! It wasn’t acid!

Bad news! It was so much worse!

Marinette had apparently learned nothing from the last time she’d been thrown into painful green liquid. That thing about holding your breath? Yeah, that doesn’t work when you were screaming your whole way down. It also didn’t help that she backflopped and whatever air she’d managed to hold onto left her with a gasp right before she was submerged in the cold green.

Of course, the lack of oxygen was the least of her worries.

Every wound she’d ever gotten had reopened, one at a time.

Burns her hands from the times she’d helped her family in the bakery. Skin got sloughed off her elbows and knees from years of trips and pushes. Her nose cracked under a kickball gone awry. A hole slowly tore itself into her cheek from how often she bit at it.

But that wasn’t the worst part. If it had just been that, she would have been fine. She inched through the water between gasps for air as the Lazarus waters churned to keep her head under, searching desperately for shore through all the green, but it wasn’t to be. She was distracted by the end of the first minute by a whole new world of pain.

She had forgotten about most of the akuma stuff. Call it selective memory or repression or whatever, but now it was coming back in literally excruciating detail. All the times she had missed jumps on patrols and snapped another part of her leg in half. Her trademark yoyo’s string dug into the skin of her fingers, threatening to cut off her fingers and even occasionally managing. A mind controlled Chat’s Cataclysm, setting every cell in her arm alight before killing them entirely.

Levity came in the form of being a Gotham vigilante. At that point punches and kicks and slaps and even the odd slash with a knife were nothing in comparison to a Cataclysm --.

A chunk was torn out of her side and she cried out. The bullet buried itself in her, that wasn’t what hurt the most. The area around the bullet was torn to shreds and steaming and generally just everything skin should not be doing.

She knelt in the water and pressed her hand to the wound, taking deep breaths of the green for the first time in a while and remembering that that was a bad idea when her vision threatened to go black.

No time to think about that, though!

She was mercilessly pulled back to her old pains as she felt something cold pressed to the side of her head. A blade dug under the skin, pushing down and sawing through the cartilage of her ears, taking the pinna with it. The last sounds she ever properly heard were the screams tearing themselves from her throat. Fingers scraped the wounds as she begged and pleaded for him to stop, digging into the frayed skin and fractured bones until it pulled out its prize.

The acid was back. It ate at her skin and pushed itself down her throat and into where her ears had been and sept into every inch of her until she could feel nothing except for pain. Every nerve ending screamed for an end to it, for death to take her finally.

And then it was gone. And she, foolishly, hoped it was over. After all, that was a perfectly viable death. She could have absolutely died in that moment, the acid could have dissolved everything of use or suffocated her until her body finally gave out.

But then came the thirst.

And, somehow, the thirst was the worst part.

At least with everything else it was something she had dealt with, it was things she knew she could get through. She’d done it before, she’d endured it, and that was fine. But the hunger was different. She’d spent those last few days completely out of it. Mostly lost in a world where her problem was less the fact that she was slowly dying of dehydration and more that everyone in her life thought she was stupid and useless and more trouble than she was worth.

And she almost missed that. Her constant nightmares had made her more or less numb to that by this point.

Instead, she felt the slow gnawing at what the acid had left of her stomach. Her throat torn to shreds, her mouth hopelessly dry despite the water that she was drowning in. The fatigue taking over every part of her until she could no longer fight against the pit holding her under. Every cell in her body seemed to give out, one by one. They knew it was useless, that she was useless, that there was no point in hoping SHE of all people could get her hands on it in time. Lidded eyes slowly, painfully, raised to look at the shore only a few feet away. She tried to force herself to grab onto something beneath her despite the fact that she was shaking so badly she knew it was impossible, tried to drag herself the last bit…

She slumped forward, gone before her head had even hit the bottom.

She woke up to fingers trailing through her hair, slowly and gently pulling knots out of damp locks.

And then they pulled their hands out.

She was allowed to roll off the person’s lap to cough and sputter and gasp until the bulk of the water was out of her lungs. Even after she’d managed to expel it, she felt weak and shaky. She refused to move out of the position she was in, forehead pressed to the cool rock in the cave, knees tucked under her, hands covering the back of her neck and head protectively. She couldn’t care less that she was touching her own lung water, that there was still a steady trail dripping from her parted lips. At least when she was like this she didn’t have to face whatever had happened to her in the time since she’d passed out.

“Marinette?” Said Damian from somewhere near her, his voice softer than she’d ever heard it.

She gave him a cough as an answer.

She took one last, shaky breath of semi-fresh air and then forced her eyes open.

Yep, that was a puddle of lung water. She looked down at the rock beneath her, taking in the ugly green tint that the waters cast upon it.

The shivering wouldn’t stop. She didn’t know whether it was her weak muscles or the intense cold that had soaked into her bones.

A hand rested upon her back and she forced herself to look over at Duke. He looked at her, concern etched in every line of his green face.

Wait, green?

She blinked a few times to try and get the last of the water that would be in her eyes out, but it didn’t seem to be getting any better. Frustrated, she brought her hands up to try and rub the green out.

It wasn’t working.

She rubbed harder, started trying to almost pull off her skin and might have even popped her eyes out if hands hadn’t caught her wrists and pulled them away from her face.

She looked up at Damian for a few minutes, taking in the odd tint in her vision that made his skin a sickly color. She felt like up, but there didn’t seem to be anything in her stomach to throw up with.

“How’re you feeling?” Asked Damian carefully, still not releasing her.

Her irritation spiked and she wrenched her hands free. “Fine, thanks.” She had to tear the short words from her throat, it was raw and scratchy and she hated speaking but she continued on regardless: “I’m not a civvie, Dami, you don’t have to pretend like you care.”

He reeled back like he’d been slapped -- well, no, she’d seen him take far more than a slap without flinching, but you get the point -- and she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

Still, she forced a “sorry” through tight lips. He hardly seemed perturbed by just how fake the apology was, probably used to it considering he had as many siblings as he had, and left to go talk to his mother.

She flopped back onto the stone despite the fact that it was too cold, that SHE was too cold, and just laid there. She glared at some stalactites on the ceiling like they had personally offended her.

Duke’s face carefully poked its way into her vision and she looked up at him for a minute before sighing and reaching a hand towards him. He got the idea, locking his hand with hers and pulling her to shaky feet. She leaned against him heavily, head resting against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t realize… I didn’t think it would be that bad...”

She shook her head slightly against his shoulder and he let himself trail off.

Damian and Talia were speaking in Arabic. Marinette couldn’t translate most of it, but she got the general gist. Damian was saying thanks over and over again (one of the few words she’d managed to catch onto in Arabic outside of swears) and Talia’s hand motions assured that it was fine. Damian hesitated slightly before wrapping his mother in a hug and, though she tensed up at first and seemed unsure what to do, she carefully returned it.

Marinette felt like she was intruding. Her gaze fell to the floor.

Oh. Someone had taken her miraculous off of her, she realized as she looked down at herself. She wore one of Jason’s hoodies and a pair of Cass’s old sweatpants, both stolen from their owners. A hand came up to touch her hair and she noted absently that it was still pushed out of her face with a cloth headband from when she was doing her skincare routine right before the incident with the Rogues. It was like nothing had ever happened.

Honestly, it was almost weird to see casual clothes on herself rather than the swing-style dress she’d been wearing for who knows how long --.

Huh. She wondered if Kaalki was okay. She hoped so, she would have felt awful if the kwami had gotten hurt because of overuse.

She looked at Duke to ask, and found him stressing over something on his phone. She tried to peek over his shoulder and pouted when he angled the phone away and continued to type out a message.

“Dukeeeeeeee. Duke. Duke. Duuuuuke. Duke. Duke,” she whined to be annoying.

He didn’t answer outside of moving the hand on her shoulder up to cover her mouth. She licked his hand and saw disgust flicker across his face before he brought his hand up to try and wipe her spit off on her forehead. She recoiled and pressed back against the offending hand, holding him off.

They continued on like this for a good minute before Damian sidled up between them and forced them apart.

“You’re both children.”

Marinette huffed a little and clung onto him, partially to be annoying and partially because she still felt horribly weak and cold. He seemed annoyed but he supported her weight as they started walking back through the compound.

“Dami, you’re the youngest one here. If we’re children what does that make you?”

“A baby,” said Duke, pocketing his phone.

Damian’s face burned red and he clicked his tongue. “I’m hardly younger than either of you.”

“Three months is a long time,” Marinette said wisely.

“Three years is even longer,” Duke said, even wiser.

A scowl made its way across the least wise person’s face. “Why do I put up with either of you?”

“Because you love us,” said Marinette just as Duke said “Because you’re a softy”.

Duke grinned and held up a hand for her to high five and she did so, only to regret it when she was forced to remember that there had been spit on that hand. He smirked at her disgust. She vaguely considered murder.

Duke’s amusement slowly disappeared and he looked at Damian. “They’re on their way. Should get here within a few hours.”

Damian cringed.

Marinette buried her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes, considering everything. She doubted that when they said ‘they’ they weren’t including Bruce. Even if she didn’t have her quick and easy murder method anymore, she could still be deadly. Then again, she would have to fight off however many batfamily members just to get to him and by the point she did so -- IF she even did so -- she would be exhausted and easy for Bruce to subdue.

Hm. It was worth a shot, at least.

Marinette stared at the suitcase on the ground. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Mari, you look dead on your feet -- don’t laugh I’m being serious -- and if anyone saw us walking you through town... it would be bad.”

Her slight smile at the unintentional joke slipped into a frown as she bit the inside of her cheek. “What if I say I have trauma related to suitcases?”

“Considering you’ve already been in it and we just watched all your trauma -- or, at least, all the things you would consider to be trauma -- play out, I’m going to have to say I don’t quite believe you.”

A dark look passed over her face and, for a moment, she swore the world looked just a little more green.

But, then, she held her hands out and let them tie them off with some rope.

(Of course, she knew how to get out of it, but it would be a pain and, really, what would she do if she could get out? Suitcases aren’t exactly easy to get out of from the inside.)

“Sorry about this, Mari,” said Duke.

She hummed her understanding.

They closed the suitcase over her. Without a giant dress in the way, it was actually a pretty roomy space. Still, it took a lot of shifting to find a position where her bony knees and elbows didn’t dig into her. This didn’t last long. Now that she didn’t have the warmth of another person she was unbearably cold. Bony limbs be damned, she wasn’t going to freeze to death in a suitcase of all things.

Once she stopped shifting around they started walking. She rested her head against the suitcase, eyes struggling to remain open, and found they were talking about food in the areas around them. She wanted food. She told them so. There was a beat where they stilled and then Damian promised to get her something.

Alright. So they could hear her in there. That took away the calling the police option, but that didn’t matter much.

Out of boredom, she pulled her phone from her pocket and clicked it on. To her surprise, it actually worked.

She stared at the home screen for a moment. She and Jason were flipping off the camera while Tim looked on, unamused. She’d used to think the picture was cute. Now, though, with her vision tinted green and the knowledge of what she was going to do... she found tears springing to her eyes. She looked at the screen for just a second longer to check the time -- 15:00 -- and then turned the phone around and used it as a light.

With nothing else to do as she waited for things to pan out the way she wanted, she examined herself. It was weird to look at her hands and see them in perfect shape. Old scars from the oven and repeated punching without proper protection on her knuckles and lines from her yoyo were all gone. No hint of anything that had ever happened to her. It felt weird. Like she wasn’t really herself anymore.

She tripped out on that for a while until she heard voices.

Alright, go time.

She slipped her phone back into her pocket. She doubted anyone would think to check her for one.

She carefully pulled her headband down and slipped it in her mouth, then knotted the fabric behind her head a few times until it was so tight it almost hurt.

Marinette took a deep breath and then started screaming through her makeshift gag.

Three things happened in rapid succession: the light chatter around the three of them petered out, Duke swore loudly, and then the bats broke into a run.

Despite their best efforts, though, they got caught. It’s kind of hard to run and do parkour when you’re toting along a suitcase, especially if you don’t want to hurt the person inside. The suitcase rolled to a stop and she could hear mad scrambling as Duke and Damian struggled to get away without risking their civilian identities.

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut and started thinking.

The bats were going to hate her for this. She was going to have to actually put in effort to die now instead of having an instant death via taking off her miraculous. Harley probably didn’t know that she was still alive (or, rather, around, because the ‘alive’ thing was very recent) and Marinette couldn’t even be sure she cared.

Tears sprang to her eyes. Good, good. Keep thinking about that.

Harley was going to be so pissed at her for taking so long. Harley would always love Joker more than her. Harley was probably just using her for her own gain. Harley didn’t care about her and never would, or at least not in the way Marinette so desperately wanted her to.

By the time the suitcase was opened Marinette was full on sobbing. The sudden influx of light certainly didn’t help the situation.

She whimpered and shielded her eyes despite wanting oh-so-desperately to step out into the sun and bask in its rays for the first time since before Harley.

Some god must have been listening to her for once, because a pair of hands carefully lifted her out of the suitcase. She slowly, almost reluctantly, looked up at her ‘savior’. The kind-looking woman had moved to block most of the sunlight and the little parts that escaped surrounded her head like a halo. Marinette gave her a wet smile as her gag and the rope binding her hands were removed.

The woman spoke to her in Arabic and, though she didn’t understand any of it, the soft edge to her voice made her feel so safe. Marinette choked out a sob and allowed the woman to gather her into a hug.

Briefly, her gaze lifted from the woman’s shoulder and she saw Damian and Duke getting held back by some random citizens. If the civilians had seen the watery smile on her face they would have thought it was just happiness at finally be saved. The two bats knew better, the slightly sour looks on their faces told her so.

A hand came up to run through her hair and she buried her face in the woman’s shoulder as she began to cry even harder.

The officer was holding Duke and Damian at gunpoint as two citizens worked at trying to cuff them. He only put his gun back in its holster after he was sure that they weren’t going to be running anytime soon.

Marinette didn’t know for sure what the cop thought was going on, but she had a few guesses. After all, she worked in law enforcement too, however unofficially. If she’d seen someone in her state -- clothes hanging off her too-thin frame and shaking like a leaf after being pulled out of a suitcase -- she would have instantly assumed trafficking or, at the very least, kidnapping.

Knowing what the officer was expecting, she also knew exactly how to play into that idea. Really, the boys had had no chance.

“She’s our sister!” Damian tried to argue.

The officer, Ali, looked at the three of them with a skeptical frown. Damian might have passed as her family, they were both mixed white and chinese (he was also part arab, but half-siblings exist), but Duke definitely couldn’t.

“Did you know these men before… all of this, ma’am?”

She sniffled and brought a hand up to swipe under her eyes. Technically, if she were actually a trafficking victim, the answer would have probably been ‘yes’, most trafficking cases started out on the victim’s terms. She also knew that, when victims were truthful about this, they often got thrown into jail for prostitution. She didn’t feel like getting thrown in a cell.

“N-no. I was just going to work and they -- and they --,” she cut herself off, dissolving into sobs.

Ali pulled her into a hug and she tried to ignore the fact that his hand was definitely too low.

She could practically FEEL Damian and Duke’s annoyance. This looked bad for them, all three of the present bats knew it, and the real explanation wouldn’t be believed.

The two boys were filed into the back of a police car and Marinette was allowed to sit shotgun.

The cop offered her a shock blanket and, despite not being in shock, she took it. She was so unbearably cold despite her thick layers and the fact that it was the middle of summer.

She watched the cop walk around the car to the driver’s seat and everything was quiet as they started off towards the police station.

“You’re an asshole, Mari,” Duke said in French.

She glanced at the cop, but he just looked confused. Fair enough. English was a pretty common second language around the world because of business and tourism, but no one learned French if they didn’t have to.

She gave a wet laugh. “Yeah.”

The cop frowned. “What are they saying?”

She waved him off. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not!”

She fought back a bit of laughter and turned in her seat to look at the two of them. “What’d you boys really expect?”

“You’ve never tried to leave before, forgive us for thinking that wouldn’t change. It’s called…” Damian frowned for a moment before finding the term he needed: “Learned helplessness.”

“Tell me you didn’t pay attention in psychology without telling me. Learned helplessness is where you try a bunch of different things and nothing works so you learn not to try again. I never tried anything.”

“Oh so NOW she knows about psychological trauma,” complained Duke.

A true frown made its way across her face. “I’ve always known about psychological trauma. It was Hawkmoth’s whole thing in Paris.”

“She knows intellectually, she’s just woefully unable to apply the teachings to herself,” said Damian.

Marinette scowled at him. “Harley. Didn’t. Traumatize. Me.”

All she got were two eyerolls and she huffed, turning back around in her seat and crossing her arms. The boys switched languages and, after checking to make sure she didn’t understand, started chatting.

She slowly started to nod off, head resting against the center console. She was without her normal coffee, and she kind of regretted not waiting for Duke and Damian to get food before enacting her plan, and she’d more or less cried herself out earlier…

The only thing keeping her from sleeping was Ali’s hand, resting right on top of her head. She wanted to think it was innocent. In her experience, cops almost never were.

The chattering cut off when they came to a stop and she slowly lifted her head up and looked around, expecting a police station. Instead, she found a normal red light (or, at least, she was pretty sure that it was red, her vision was still tinted green). She frowned a little and turned to look at Duke and Damian…

They had disappeared from the backseat.

She shot up and hissed a curse. Of course they could break out of police cars -- now that she was thinking about it, she was pretty sure Duke had mentioned doing it before.

Ali looked back and she saw his face change from calm to confused to annoyed. He tried to smooth his expression back into a neutral one and assure her that everything was fine, but she didn’t really care about him anymore.

She reached into his belt and pulled his gun out of its holster. Safety off. Finger on the trigger. Evade the hand trying to take it away. Push him back with a foot until he’s pressed against a window. Check that he can’t move much. Point at his head.

“Thanks for the help,” she chirped. “Or, at least, for trying.”

She pulled the trigger.

Blood and gore splattered everywhere. Point blank range always had that effect. The shock blanket managed to keep most of it off of her, but some got on her face and in her hair.

She thought she’d be more disgusted. If not with herself then at least with the blood. Instead, she reached a hand up slowly to rest over where the blood had hit. It was… warm. She hadn’t expected that she could ever feel warm again.

She slowly looked at the body. It was gushing blood all over her foot and she found she almost didn’t care. She almost found herself smiling. It was soaking through her old sneakers, warming her in a way nothing else had since she'd been dunked in the Pit.

And then the color… kwami. It wasn’t green, it wasn’t brown or black like what normally happens when you mixed red and green, it was RED.

A sickening smile finally made its way across her face.

The screaming started. She pulled herself from her haze, released the body and watched it slump. Right. This was going to suck if she got arrested.

She shed her blanket and leaned over the body, checking for and taking everything she could use. Taser. Extra bullets. A baton. Tear gas. Wallet…

Yeah, that was everything, she was pretty sure. She, reluctantly, wiped the still-wet blood off her hands to pull her hood up and cover her splattered face and then slipped out the door. No one stopped her -- probably because of the gun in her hands -- and she was allowed to disappear down an alley.

Alright. She was free.

She wasn’t FREE free, obviously, the bats would find her eventually. But she had some time out. What should she do first?

… she should probably get the blood off. Getting arrested would suck.

She slipped out the other side of the alley and started weaving her way through the city in search of a gas station. There were a good amount in Tibet, so it didn’t take too long to find one. She ducked into it to wash the remaining blood off her face and hands and, after being prompted to buy something by a clerk in return for being allowed the pleasure of using their dingy bathrooms, bought a tiny bag of chips.

Then she was back to walking aimlessly. She made sure to switch directions often, occasionally even going back the way she’d just come. The less predictable her movements the better.

She nibbled at the chips as she went. She’d only bought them to get the cashier off her ass, but she actually was pretty hungry. She had to fight herself not to scarf the entire thing down.

Right, basic needs have been met, what next?

She pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the time. 20:00. The bats were definitely in the city.

She hesitated slightly. They probably assumed her phone was dead, even she had, so they probably hadn’t started tracking her yet…

She swallowed back her fear. She needed to do this before one of the bats realized and actually started tracking her.

A few clicks later, she was pressing her phone to her ear.

It didn’t even ring once before she got an answer: “Marinette?”

“Maman,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

Marinette could practically hear the way her mother’s shoulders slumped in relief. She rested her head back against the wall, tears springing to her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“We thought you were…” Her mother didn’t dare complete the thought aloud.

Marinette held back the ‘Well, I was, but I got better’ that was on the tip of her tongue. Her mother didn’t know about her activities as Ladybug and she was never going to. Marinette took a vow to protect when she started heroism, and that definitely extended to her parents.

“I’m alive. Surprise,” she said after a moment’s consideration.

Sabine gave a little laugh and Marinette didn’t care if it was forced because it was HERS. A sob built in her throat.

“I hope you know you owe me more explanation than just that, young lady. It’s almost been a year! Your father and I --.” Sabine stopped herself and softened her tone. “We’ve been so worried. Are you okay?”

She swallowed thickly. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m... fine. And… I can’t explain, there’s just so much and… yeah. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine. I just needed to hear your voice again.”

Her mother hesitated. “That sounds an awful lot like you’re about to disappear again.”

“I am,” she confirmed, because lying would hurt her mother more in the long run. Still, she almost wished that she could have lied because listening to her mother sob was almost unbearable. “I’m sorry. I can’t talk long. I just wanted to call and tell you guys that… that I’m okay. And that I love you.”

Her mother’s breath caught.

Marinette glared at the ground.

She waited for her mother to get her breathing under control.

“I love you, too, sweetie. Would you like to talk to Pere?”

She hesitated and then mumbled a no. She couldn’t. Talking to her mother was hard, but at least her mother was practical. Her mother knew that Marinette wasn’t going to change what she was doing. Her mother knew that Marinette was doing what she felt like she must.

Her father, though, her father would plead with her. He’d promise to protect her. He’d promise that she could come home, that they could deal with it together, that everything is easier to handle when you do it with others. And she just might believe him.

“Goodbye,” she whispered.

The phone slipped from her hand and she barely paid it any mind as it shattered on the concrete below.

She slowly slid to the ground beside her phone and rested her head in her hands. Tears that she’d been holding back since she started the call spilled from between her fingers. Her breath came to her in shaky gasps that were definitely not enough in the long run and her lungs hurt as she struggled for air between sobs but it was nothing compared to drowning in acid so she was fine.

No. Not fine. Fine implied that things were, if not going distinctly ‘well’, going vaguely in the right direction. Marinette felt like she’d seen a fork in a path and then ignored both choices in favor of whacking a new path through the forest. She knew, somewhere, that she was only getting further and further from where she’d originally intended and yet she couldn’t turn back. Because turning back would mean looking and seeing all the plants she’d killed on her way through the brush that hadn’t even needed to die and she couldn’t face that. She couldn’t. So she kept going. Kept praying that, somehow, she’d find her way back to the path.

So, no, ‘fine’ wasn’t the word. She was… she was dealing. She’d deal.

She took a few more deep, steadying breaths before picking her head up. She needed to leave. Tim would start tracking her soon, if he hadn’t already, and she couldn’t beat all the bats at once.

She chanced one more look at her phone. The call had disconnected and now she was staring at her home screen yet again. The picture of herself smiling at the camera with friends was cracked, her face lost in a spiderweb of broken glass.

Marinette took a deep breath and then brought her fist down on the phone. It shattered and went dark beneath her hand. Blood, warm and red, slowly dripped along her arm and she stuffed it in one of her pockets before she could start dripping on the ground.

She started aimlessly walking around again. She’d find a motel or something after a few hours. For now, she needed to be untraceable.

She knew she should take off her outfit. They were looking for someone in a hoodie and sweats. But she couldn’t. It was the last thing she had of either of them, of any of the bats. Even if they were on different sides, she still cared about them. She still found herself wanting them to be happy.

She just wanted Harley to be happier.

Which meant she was going to have to put some effort in.

She bit the inside of her cheek.

The bats would find her no matter what, it was a given. They had access to pretty much every camera in the world, access to satellites for the things they couldn’t see with the cameras. She could only evade them for so long. It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.

Which meant that she needed to be the one to decide on when. It would never be an even fight, they had years of experience on her, but she had infinitely better chances if she caught them off guard rather than the other way around. She had to find them before they could find her.

She’d have to go online at a library or something to see if Bruce Wayne came along. Him leaving without much notice would probably draw Vicky Vale’s attention and an article would be made.

If he hadn’t then she’d have to figure out a way back to America. This was the better option, she thought. They wouldn’t expect her to be able to get back easily without a passport and a limited amount of money, so she might just be able to sneak up on Bruce.

If he HAD come along she’d start checking out motels and hotels. He’d get a bunch of rooms that were right next to each other, preferably ones that were linked together. She’d have to check for rooms with the lights on and blinds closed. Painstaking, but it could work.

Of course, it was also very likely that Bruce had some sort of safehouse here, or that she just wouldn’t happen upon the right hotel, and she wouldn’t be able to find him that way. If that were the case...

Her hands slipped into her pockets and she felt her fingers brush over the cold metal of her gun.

Well, she knew one way to attract a bat.

#i didnt know what iteration of lazarus pit i wanted to do for a while #and then my dumb acab brain was like 'kill a cop!!'#and so i did #it was fun #as for the rest of the chapter idk if i like it #too tired to change anything tho #alternate ending #alternative ending #alt ending #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #joker #harley quinn #harleen quinzel

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fanmoose12 · 4 years

Text

Partners

Characters: Petra Ral, Levi, Hanji Zoe x Levi Genre: Action / Mystery / Romance Rating: T

Detective!au

Summary: when Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed. And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

Chapter 3/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

“Fuck,” Levi groaned, tightly gripping the steering wheel and looking up at the sky through the windshield. “The sun is almost up. We’ll need to be back at the precinct soon,” he glanced at Petra. “Do you still want me to take you home? Or we can have breakfast. There is a nice café nearby.”

Petra smiled. “Breakfast sounds good. Right now I need coffee more than a shower.”

Levi nodded, and without another word, speeded up the car.

A few minutes later they arrived to a small, cozy-looking café near the side of the road. It was painted in pretty pastel colors. Petra looked around in surprise, she would never guess that Levi preferred such home-looking establishments. It looked too personal for the grumpy detective.

As soon as they entered, a middle-aged woman with a warm, motherly smile came out to greet them. Her eyes widened, as they landed on Levi.

“Detective Ackerman!” she clasped her hands, looking utterly delighted. “It was so long since I’ve seen you! When was the last time that you and your partner have graced my café with your presence?”

“Two years ago,” Levi mumbled, avoiding the woman’s gaze. “And I don’t want to talk about it. I just want my damn breakfast.”

“Oh,” the woman’s face fell, as she looked at Petra. “I… I see. Alright, hon, do you want the usual tea and omelet?”

“If you would be so kind,” Levi agreed, taking a seat at the table near the window.

“Sure,” the woman gave him a smile. It was a sad and sympathetic one. “And you, my dear?” she turned to Petra. “What do you want?”

“An espresso and a toast would be great.”

“I’ll bring your order in a moment,” the woman stared at Levi for another second, and then turned around, disappearing into the kitchen.

“So you came here often?” Petra asked softly, trying to ease the tense atmosphere.

“I said that I don’t want to talk about it,” Levi turned his glare on her. However, before Petra opened her mouth to apologize, he sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Let's just... Let's just talk about the case, alright?" he asked, looking up at her beneath his fridge.

"S-sure," Petra nodded, all too eager to change the topic of conversation.

In that moment, their orders were brought and put on a table in front of them. Petra smiled gratefully and Levi gave the woman a curt nod, taking a sip from his cup.

"What we know is this," Levi began, taking out a small notebook out of the inner pocket of his deep blue jacket. "A woman was killed in her apartment. Her throat was slashed."

"The apartment was very clean," Petra whispered absentmindedly.

"Huh? What did you say?"

She fidgeted in her seat, feeling shy and unsure. What if she says the wrong say? What if she makes an idiot out of herself? But when she gathered enough courage to glance up at Levi, he was looking at her with interest. Petra straightened out. "Her throat was slashed," she repeated his words. "But there was no blood. The killer obviously tried to make it look as clean as possible."

"Hm, maybe, you're right, good job," he said. Just a few words, but it made Petra's heart beat so much faster. "Also, no signs of forced entry or fighting were found."

"Maybe, she knew the killer?" Petra offered.

"Maybe," Levi agreed. "That bastard always knew how to be charming."

"Are... Are you talking about Zeke Yeager?"

Levi gave her a sharp look. "It's not nice to eavesdrop. Especially, if you want to build a trusting relationship with your partner."

Petra's cheeks flamed up. "I'm sorry! I didn't really mean to, but—"

"But you were curious," Levi finished for her. "Well, a good detective should always be curious. So I guess the least I can do is to satisfy your curiosity."

"You don't have to!"

"No, I do," Levi protested softly, but firmly. "I've been a real jerk to you. And, while I'm really not a nice guy, you didn't deserve all that shit I've dumped on you. If we're going to be partners, we need to learn to trust each other. And trust is impossible, when there are secrets. But before I tell you anything, I have one question: do you know Djel Sannes?”

“Who?” Petra’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Deputy police chief?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, as he carefully surveyed Petra’s face. “You don’t know him?”

“Er, sorry,” Petra chuckled, taking a sip of her espresso. “I’ve been a police technician for too long. I’m not really knowledgeable about all the higher-ups.”

“Hm,” Levi’s gaze lingered on her for another second. “It seems like you’re telling the truth. So it’s time for me to do the same," he turned his head to the side, staring at the window. He looked as calm as ever, but his hand was holding the cup so tightly, Petra worried he might break it. "As you probably know, Zeke was a notorious criminal. He was real bastard, who was not afraid to dirty his hands. Drug smuggling, kidnapping, murder - he was ready to do anything. Hange and I have been tracking him for months. Finally, we’ve managed to locate his hideout. As soon as we did, we started planning an ambush. Two weeks later and we were ready to capture Zeke. We arrived at the location, the building was huge, so we split up,” Levi let out a barely audible sigh. “Several minutes later, the explosion rang. It was a real fucking mess - the whole right wing of the hideout collapsed, there was fire and smoke all around. I tried to get there as soon as I could, but, no matter how hard I looked and how many broken slabs I’ve overturned, I couldn’t find even the sign of their bodies under all that mess. Only a few days later, forensics team found bits of Hange and Zeke’s DNA. But it was all they managed to retract.”

Despite, the horrible events he recounted, Levi’s voice was devoid of all emotions. His face was just as expressionless. Petra wasn’t sure if she should be amazed by his self-control or worried for his mental state. She decided to do neither, and instead followed Levi’s example and acted like as professional.

“You think Zeke had survived the explosion?”

“Erwin says it’s impossible,” Levi replied, expertly avoiding giving her a straight answer. “Says that DNA, found on the scene, had confirmed their deaths.”

Their? So Levi didn’t believe in Hange Zoe’s death as well? Petra remembered a desk in their office that looked as though it was waiting for its owner, even after two years. Was he really still expecting her to come back? Petra shook her head, she was losing focus again.

“You don’t believe the forensics team?”

“Zeke knew that we were coming for him. He planted the explosives beforehand,” he said. “Someone tipped him off, I’m sure of it.”

Petra’s eyes widened. Levi couldn’t be serious, right? “You think someone in police was involved with him?”

“I don’t have evidence,” Levi lifted the cup to his lips. “Yet,” he added with an intense look in his eyes. He shook his head and it was gone. “Now let’s deal with our breakfast, before it gets cold.”

***

As they were finishing their meals, Levi’s phone started ringing. He took it out and glanced at the screen. Sighing, he accepted the call.

“Yes, Erwin?” he asked, taking the last sip of his tea. For a few seconds, he listened to whatever was said on the other line. Petra watched him with interest. “Alright, we’ll be there soon.”

“Let’s go,” he told Petra after putting the phone back inside his pocket and paying for their breakfast. “They found a witness.”

***

Levi and Petra were making their way through the precinct, heading towards the interrogation room. As they were passing through a coffee machine, Moblit caught up with them.

"Detectives," he greeted them with a smile. "The autopsy report is finished," he handed the file to Levi, who accepted it with a murmured 'thanks'.

"Did you find something?" Petra asked, cocking her head.

"Yes," Moblit nodded with a grim face, all signs of the warmth gone from his expression. "We found traces of drug in victim's blood. Strong sedative, given to her three or four hours before her death."

"Shit," Levi whispered with feeling.

“And that’s not all,” Moblit tugged at his collar, looking tense and uncomfortable. Desperately trying to avoid looking Levi in the eyes.

“What else did you find?” Levi asked in a strangled voice. He probably already guessed what Moblit was going to say next, because he lowered his head. The black locks obscured his face completely.

“We ran a few tests on… the glasses that we found,” Moblit paused, clearing his throat. “We can’t really tell how old the blood on the lenses is, but… It definitely belongs to detective Hange.”

“Shit,” Levi clutched the hands on his side into fists. Petra wished she could look at his face, but she knew she wouldn’t like what she’d see there.

“Well, since I’ve delivered you the report,” Moblit chuckled, the sound fake and forced. “I… I’ll be going!”

"Wait," Levi grabbed him by the sleeve. "About yesterday, I sh—"

"It's fine, Detective," a sweet smile was back on Moblit's face. "It was a rather stressful situation for you. I understand it and harbor no ill feelings. Oh, and by the way, stop by our department, when you won't be so busy. I've got something that probably should belong to you."

"I..." Levi stared at him for a moment, his grey eyes reflecting a storm of unnamed feelings. But once again, he blinked and it was gone. "Thank you, Moblit," he said sincerely. "I'll come as soon as possible."

"Remember, Detective, our department has the best collection of tea," Moblit gently teased. "And Petra," he turned his hazel eyes at her. "Nifa brought delicious cupcakes today."

Petra chuckled, a warm feeling spreading through her. Moblit was always so nice, it was impossible not to like him. "I'll try to visit you as well."

"We'll be waiting then!" Moblit waved his hand and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of other policemen.

"You're getting friendly with Moblit," Levi commented, as they continued to walk.

Petra glanced at him. Levi's face was always so expressionless, his voice so neutral, it was hard to understand what he meant by his words. Was he disapproving? Or was it a simple observation?

"Well, he seems like a nice guy, so..." she trailed off, smiling impishly at Levi.

"He is a good man," Levi agreed. "Most members of forensic team are," he added. "They are trustworthy and honest. If you have any trouble, and you can't reach me or Erwin, they're your safest bet."

Levi was silent after that, but his words rang loudly in Petra's mind. It was the second time this day that Levi hinted about his lack of trust in police. Could it be that he was right? That there were traitors among their ranks who worked with the criminals? Or was it just a speculation of a man, who didn't know who to blame for the death of one woman? Who still wasn't able to accept that she was gone?

"Are you ready?" Levi asked, breaking Petra out of her thoughts. He stopped in front of big, metal doors.

Right, the interrogation room. They came here to question a witness.

"Sure," she smiled, hoping that her voice didn't quiver too much. "Shall we?"

Levi nodded, opening the door and letting Petra go in first.

Inside the small, dark room stood only a table and a couple of chairs. On one side of the table sat a young man, probably in his mid-twenties. He had light brown hair and a long face with narrow dark eyes. Petra and Levi sat down on the opposite side.

"I'm detective Ackerman and this is detective Ral," Levi said, before Petra could open her mouth. She couldn't help but feel disappointed that she wasn't the one to introduce them. She had rehearsed that line for so long...

"…Your name and occupation,” Levi asked the witness. He took out a pen and opened his notebook. Then he lifted his eyes, focusing his gaze on the man in front of him.

"Jean Kirschtein," his overly straight posture made it obvious that he was trying very hard not to squirm under Levi’s intense stare. Petra would have laughed, if she didn’t feel the same every time Levi turned his piercing eyes on her. “I’m a concierge at the apartment complex, where… that woman was killed.”

“That woman?” Levi raised an eyebrow. “So you didn’t know her?”

“I mean…” Jean ruffled his hair. “We’ve never really talked? She waved at me sometimes as she was passing by and sometimes she came up to my desk, so she could take her letters or deliveries, but that’s about it.”

“How long have you been working as a concierge there?”

“Um,” Jean raised his head, looking at the ceiling with pursed lips. “It’s already been three years, I think? By the way,” he leaned in, looking at Levi intently. “You look familiar. Did you use to live in that apartment complex, detective?”

“No,” Levi answered immediately. Maybe, it was Petra’s imagination, but he sounded rougher than usual. She looked at his face closely.

“Are you sure?” Jean pressed. “I’ve definitely seen you before.”

“I’m on a TV a lot,” Levi glared at Jean, daring him to say something else.

Levi sounded annoyed, and even more than that, disturbed? Was Jean really mistaken, or did Levi really live there? If so, then why deny it, and so fiercely? Maybe, he was not living there alone, maybe he shared the apartment with—

Oh. That made sense.

“When we got to the scene of the crime yesterday,” Petra softly began, diverting Jean’s attention from Levi. “Your post was empty. Why?”

“Ah, yes,” Jean scratched his neck, a slight blush suddenly appearing on his cheeks. “I, um, I had a date yesterday, so I left earlier.”

“How much earlier? When does your shift end?”

The blush on Jean’s cheek became more prominent. “At six in the morning. But I’ve left… a little after eleven.”

“You just left?” Levi scoffed, siting back in a chair. “Why am I not surprised?”

“It was an important date!” Jean threw his hands in the air. “And that jerk Eren refused to cover for me, because I was going out with his sister!”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, gritting his teeth in annoyance. "I didn't come here to ask about your personal life. Did you see the killer or not?"

"Of course, I've seen him! Why else would I come here?"

"Alright," Petra said placatingly. "Did you see him enter and exit?"

"Eh, no," Jean scratched his chin. "Only enter."

"And you left the post at eleven?" Levi opened the autopsy report. "It says that time of death is somewhere between ten pm and midnight. But if you didn't see him leave..."

"Then the death happened after eleven," Petra concluded.

"Yes," Levi nodded. "That or he left some other way. Is there any security camera in the hallway?"

“There is, but they’ve been malfunctioning for more than a month, so…”

Levi cursed.

"Have you seen that man before?" Petra asked, remembering that the victim probably knew the killer.

Jean shook his head. "No, I haven't. I have a good face memory," his eyes darted to Levi for a second. "But I definitely haven't seen that man before. That's why he attracted my attention in the first place, actually. I mean, I wouldn't have called that woman completely antisocial, she lived with a roommate after all, but... She had never brought someone home, that's why I got so intrigued."

“When did they enter the building?”

“Just a little after seven,” Jean answered.

Levi made a small note.

"And did you get a good look on his face?"

"Mm, yes," Jean nodded. Petra opened her notebook and prepared to write down every detail. However, Levi didn't do the same and just continued to watch Jean with bored expression, as though he already knew what he was going to say. "He was tall, probably close to my height. Not exactly muscular, but his shoulders were wide. He wore dark jeans and light, long coat. He had slight stubble on his face and his hair was dark and curly."

"Bullshit," Levi said quietly, but fiercely.

"What?" Petra and Jean asked in unison, both turning to stare at Levi in confusion.

"You're lying," Levi calmly elaborated.

"No, I'm not," Jean protested.

"Yes, you're."

"I'm not!" Jean jumped from his seat. "I know what I've seen!"

"What you've seen is wrong." Levi answered in a cold, angry voice. "And if you aren't lying," he slowly rose up, coming to stand close to Jean. Too close. He grabbed his tie, pulling Jean down to his level. Levi was so much shorter than him, but Jean’s face paled as he looked at Levi’s murderous expression. “Then you’re covering for him. Are you, Mr. Kirschtein?”

“Did he pay you? Did he pay you to come here and spout these lies?” Levi wasn’t letting him go and Jean was already getting pale in the face, desperately trying to free himself from the Levi’s steel hold.

Petra knew she had to do something, she had to intervene, she couldn’t just let Levi manhandle their witness like that. She was frozen with indecisiveness and uncertainty up until— Up until she saw the panic in Jean’s eyes.

This wasn’t like it was supposed to go. They shouldn’t act like that. They were meant to help people, not harass and manhandle them.

“Levi,” she called, at first gentle and quiet.

He didn’t hear her.

“Levi,” she pressed, more insisted this time.

Still no reaction.

“Detective Ackerman!” she shouted, getting to her feet and throwing Levi off Jean.

He looked at her then, dazed and confused. Slowly, he turned to Jean, the realization of what he had done reflecting in his eyes.

“My behavior was extremely improper,” Levi said, carefully pronouncing each syllable. “I lost my cool and I… apologize. Detective Ral,” his eyes darted back to her. “Finish this by yourself, please. There is something else I need to oversee.”

Then, after quickly fixing his jacket and shirt, Levi left the room, looking serious and composed. Petra once again marveled at his ability to put on the mask of indifference.

A silence settled over interrogation room. Petra kept nervously glancing at Jean, not really knowing what to do.

“He’s going through some stuff, isn’t he?” Jean chuckled, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

Petra smiled, eternally grateful to Jean for easing the atmosphere. “That’s one way to put it,” she answered, sitting down.

“I guess he already has a suspect?” Jean sat down opposite her.

Petra nodded in affirmative.

“And I guess he doesn’t match my description.”

“Precisely,” Petra sighed. “He suspects a guy who has been dead for two years, so… it’s no wonder that the description doesn’t match.”

Jean whistled. “I was correct then. He’s going through a lot.”

“He’s not a bad person,” Petra said, fiddling with her notebook. “Just a really sad one.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Jean ruffled his hair. “But… you do believe me, right?” he asked, looking at her beneath his fringe.

“Of course,” Petra gave him a reassuring smile. “I think that’s all we needed to discuss. You can go.”

“Alright,” Jean got up, stretching his feet. “If you need me for a follow-up questioning or something…”

“We’ll contact you, don’t worry,” Petra replied, opening the door and walking into the corridor. Jean followed after her. “Thank you for your time. And please forgive my partner for…”

“Manhandling me?” Jean grinned. “It’s alright. He clearly didn’t mean it, I understand. I’ve done worse things when angry. I hope you catch your guy… and I hope your partner gets the closure he needs.”

“Thank you again. Do you need me to walk you out?”

“No, I know the way,” Jean winked at her. “It’s not my first time at the police precinct. And I’m not even handcuffed this time!” he laughed merrily. “Goodbye and good luck!” he saluted to her and then walked away.

As Petra watched him go, she understood one important thing.

She could kill for a cup of coffee.

#jean cameo!!!!!!!#the next chapter will be filled with some plot stuff again #but the next after that would be more exciting!#but i also don't know when i'll continue cause i'm feeling pretty meh rn #anyway hope you're still enjoying it!#snk #levihan #levihan fanfiction #levi ackerman #petra ral #moblit berner #levi x hange

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dimpled-gukkie · 4 years

Text

Blossom

A/n: Sorry this fic is long overdue but I finally finished. I hope you all are safe and healthy and hopefully those of you struggling can find solace in this fic.

Pairing: Mafia Member!Jeon Jungkook x Reader/ Florist!Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, mafia au

Word Count: 21.2k

Warnings: Guns, Knives, Violence, mentions of blood, murder (not super graphic), explicit language, kidnapping, car accident, self-hatred, mentions of sex, innuendos, flashback scenes, death, anxiety, heartbreak

Summary: “Blossom, blossom, blossom. As unexperienced as I may be in the field you really didn’t think I’d only bring one weapon did you? It’s no wonder your gang has gone to shit ever since your dad died, it’s clear that you’re incompetent as well as incapable of being a good leader.” He laughs, raising the gun to point at you. You raise your own and he just smiles again before setting his weapon down. “You know what, how about we do this the old fashion way? I heard guns weren’t your specialty anyways.” Shrugging off his coat you spot the long dagger tucked into his waistband. “Cmon sweetheart, show me just how dangerous you are.”

The bell above you chimes as you enter the flower shop, the tension in your shoulders leaving as soon as you smell the floral scent. Ever since you were little you’ve loved flowers, earning yourself the name Blossom. It’s a little ironic to be named after something so delicate given your profession but you prefer the irony. Nothing like showing those arrogant little boys how the big girls play. Your eyes dart to the yellow roses sitting in the corner and carefully you make your way over there, your boots thudding as you walk. You take a brief moment to brush the pad of your finger over the soft petal, pondering taking them home. The sound of approaching footsteps startles you and you jerk away from the flowers, the small smile on your face morphing into a scowl and your eyes harden.

When the figure rounds the corner, you don’t even offer them a greeting before blurting out, “I need three bunches of monkshood.”

“Ahh, so I see common courtesy isn’t your forte.” The figure smiles sharply at you, eyes glinting like the point of the knife tucked into your belt. You grunt and roll your eyes, arms crossing over your chest as you stare him down. The man holds your gaze, brown eyes darkening to nearly black, his body language matching your own. You quirk an eyebrow at him and he holds your gaze for a beat longer before sighing and turning away. Only then do you let your guard down enough to take in the man before you. He has platinum blonde hair, the strands nearly white, and his dark roots peak through when he leans forward to wrap your bouquet. He’s wearing a white sweater and a simple silver bracelet although it looks quite expensive. He must have some other business besides this hole-in-the-wall florist shop. Like he feels your eyes on him he looks up and for the first time in a long time you feel intimidated.”That’ll be $30.” He says gruffly, punching the number into the register before turning it towards you.

Your eyes flick to the spot where he grabbed them, the sign catching your attention.

“The sign says 5 per bundle.”

“I’m charging extra for pain and suffering.” He deadpans, sticking his hand out to you, palm open. The disrespect and attitude he’s giving you is infuriating and yet you do nothing. Well, maybe you’ll do something later. You’re in a hurry.

“I don’t think that’s legal.”

“I’m not sure you’re so innocent yourself sweetheart. You know those mean that death is near right?” Touché. You don’t say anything else to him, throwing the money on the counter before swiping the flowers and storming off. “Hope to see you again sometime!” He calls, the sarcasm so pointed that you feel it cut right through you.

The bundle of flowers is clutched tightly in your hands, the brown wrapping crinkling as you shift the bouquet from hand to hand. Jungkook is late and you’re running on a tight schedule. “Where is that prick?” You mumble to yourself, jumping when lips press against the shell of your ear.

“You talking about me sweetheart?” Jungkook whispers, laughing breathily as you shove him away from you.

“You’re late.” You deadpan, already heading inside. The security men on the main floor of the building pay you no mind as you head straight for the elevators, their heads turning in the opposite direction as you wait for the doors to open.

“Time is relative you know, maybe you’re just early.” Jungkook winks, a smirk pulling at his lips. You roll your eyes and press the button for the top floor, repeatedly pressing for the doors to close.

“I think you’re confused. It’s me who calls the shots not you.” You say causing his smirk to widen, his eyes darkening as he shoves you against the elevator wall, his body flush against your own.

“That so?” He quirks a dark eyebrow up, his midnight eyes boring into your own. The lust swirling in them makes heat pool in your stomach and you struggle to hold his intense gaze. Your pride makes you lean forward, your eyes fluttering at the proximity. Your lips are a centimeter from his own and you find joy in the way he sucks in a shaky breath.

“If I say you’re late, you’re late.” You whisper, relishing in the way your lips brush his own with each syllable. When you pull away, Jungkook licks his lips and his cheeks are now the same color. “What?” You smirk back at him, placing a hand on his chest. You can feel his heart pounding against it, the elevator static with the electricity buzzing between you two. “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you lean your upper back against the wall.

Jungkook glares, a warm hand wrapping around your waist and landing on your lower back, harshly pulling you into him. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders as he presses his lips against your own. Hungrily he pries your lips apart, his hands gripping your hips as he slips his tongue into your mouth. He groans and your hand moves to the nape of his neck to pull at strands of his hair. You missed the weight of his hands on you, the heat of his body pressed against your own.

The elevator dings and it takes everything in you to pull away, especially when Jungkook looks like pure sin. His lips are swollen and bright pink, hair mussed in the back from your fingers. You swallow loudly as you stare at him, the movement of the doors beginning to close catching your attention. Jutting your hand out, you slip out of the elevators when the doors reopen not checking if Jungkook is following. You know he is, you can feel his heavy stare on your back. You check your reflection in a nearby window, smoothing out your clothes and hair. Your eyes linger on Jungkook’s reflection, standing tall and protective behind you.

You ache to reach behind and grab his hand in your own, to claim him as yours and you his, but as you feel the uncomfortable press of your knives on your thighs you know it’s impossible. You and Jungkook will never amount to anything more than lost lovers, broken souls taking comfort in each other. He’s your temporary home, one that’s always on the verge of foreclosure. You can’t have him forever and it keeps you awake at night.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder before retracting it.

“Just fine.” You snip, adjusting your clothes one final time before heading into the board room. “Hi boys.” You smile, taking a seat at the head of the table as Jungkook flanks you.

“You’re late.” The man across from you snarls, and you throw the bouquet to him.

“Got you a present. Besides, isn’t time relative?” You can hear Jungkook snicker behind you and smirk. The man across from you looks you over slowly, and you cock your head at him. “Can I help you?” You growl just wanting to get this over with.

“Next time you want to have a quickie before a meeting, make sure to fix your appearance.”

“The fuck you just say to her?” Jungkook growls, his gun cocked and loaded before you can even blink. The man appears to be unfazed by the gun aimed between his eyes but you can see the slight tremor in his body. You raise your hand to Jungkook and he reluctantly drops his arm down but keeps the weapon at his side. Standing, you smile at the man, brandishing the knife you’d been holding since he looked at you funny.

“What was that?” You ask, coming behind him to place the blade against his throat. He swallows, gasping slightly when the knife presses into his skin and a trickle of blood flows down his neck. “Sorry I didn’t hear you. I think you’re gonna have to repeat it.” You say lowly.

“I-I said you- you look lovely!” He stammers and you nod at Jungkook stepping away from the man and returning to the head of the table. The man visibly relaxes, his hand coming up to his neck to press against his small cut.

“You wanna know something?” You ask him and he and his colleagues nod frantically in means to appease you. “I hate liars.” As soon as the words leave your lips a bullet is in between the man’s eyes and his body slumps back in the chair. The two men flanking him are frozen before they turn to you with wide eyes, pleas leaving their lips so quickly they’re unintelligible. “Enough! Do you know why I’m here?” You ask and the man on the right smiles weakly.

“To bring us flowers?” He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly before closing his eyes at the sharp look on your face.

“You know why I bring flowers? It’s not just because they call me Blossom.” The mens' eyebrows draw together and you smile wickedly at them. “I bring them as a way of warning. If only people studied their meanings.” You drawl, walking around the room to grab the bouquet. You wipe the blood staining its brown wrapping on the nearest man’s jacket sleeve and bring it back with you to Jungkook. “You know what these mean?” You ask and both men shake their head making your smile widen. “Death.” A knife lands in the man to your right’s chest and he slumps into the chair, his eyes still wide open. You might close them later, it’s creeping you out. The last man standing shakes violently in his chair and you place the flowers back down on the table. “So tell me, just what happened to my last shipment?”

“I-I don’t know.” His voice shakes and a small part of you pities the man. What a horrible way to die.

“Jungkook did I not say I hate like liars?” You ask and Jungkook grunts lowly.

“You did.”

“So tell me, just why did my shipment go to MKJ? And just where did my money go?”

“I-I don’t know. Boss mentioned something about them paying a higher amount. I- I had no part in it, I swear.”

“So you sold my order.”

“Ye-yes.” The man puts his head down in shame and you nod acceptingly.

“So where’s my money?” You ask, grabbing the man by the back of the neck to pull his head back up.

“Processed already. They-they probably used it to buy more equipment for the weaponry.”

“I’m sure you know I want it back. So what’s the password to the account?”

“Interlude” You let go of the man as he trembles and text the password to Taehyung, your resident hacker. He’s lucky and can do all his work from home and you smile at the thought of all the money that’ll be in your account when you get there. You’re gonna milk the place dry. “Any last words?”

“What?” The man exclaims but the feeling of Jungkook’s gun placed against his skull quiets him. “But I told you the password.” You can’t look at him in the eyes so you turn away, hand on the door.

“Yeah but you still lied and I hate liars.” The only thing you can hear is Jungkook’s finger pulling the trigger, the silencer doing its job and not alerting the other workers to the murders that just occurred. “Call Jimin to take care of the rest.” You murmur to Jungkook, leaving the room quickly.

You end up walking home, wanting to busy yourself rather than sit in a car and relive what just happened. You should be okay with homicide, immune to guilt, but the human part of you is horrified by each murder you commit. You can’t stand to look at your hands, the metaphorical blood caked on so thick that they’re a twisted maroon color. Feeling your hands shaking you clench them tightly at your sides, trying to steady your breathing and relax. In your business you can’t show an ounce of weakness, a sliver of vulnerability, because the snakes around you will exploit it. The only person who’s really seen the real part of you, Y/n, is Jungkook. Jungkook is the only one who can slip off your mask, see the scarred and broken girl hidden behind the name Blossom. But because of who you are, the monstrosity of your mask, he’ll never give you what you want. He’ll never make a life with you. You’re just the girl he sees behind closed doors, the one he only whispers that he loves amongst bedsheets. And the lonely part of you clings onto this, your love for him drowning out the doubt, the fear of the heartbreak to come. Because as much as you wish for it, Jungkook’s loyalties will never lie with you.

A car honks at you as you continue you walk down the street and you roll your eyes expecting Jungkook to be hanging out the driver’s window but stiffen when you notice a pistol instead. You drop to the floor in a second, the glass from the window behind you shattering on top of your body. Shaking from adrenaline and fear of being alone with a gunman you push yourself off the ground, wincing as the glass cuts into your hands and take off down the street in the opposite direction. You can hear tires screeching as the car u-turns and push yourself to run faster, hands fumbling with your phone as you call Jungkook on speed dial. He picks up instantly and you strain to focus on his words while trying to find a shop to duck into. “Hey where are you? You okay?” Jungkook asks as gun shots ring behind you. You gotta find a place to hide and fast. “Shit. Are those gunshots? Where are you!” Jungkook yells and you recite the nearest street name as you turn to run down it. You spot the flower shop from earlier and sprint towards it, not bothering to try and listen to Jungkook. “Y/n? Y/n!” Jungkook screams as you slide onto the floral shop’s floor as the car speeds by. Panting you lay on the floor, the phone lying limp in your hand. Jungkook’s now talking to himself, a string of curse words leaving his mouth. You smile a little, heart warmed by the fact that he’s worried.

Bringing the phone to your ear you mumble, “I’m fine.” He lets out a loud sigh of relief before demanding your location. “Uhhh… I don’t know the name actually. Just the flower shop on the same street.”

“Is there a reason why you’re laying on my floor?” A deep voice rumbles and you crane your neck to find the snarky blonde from earlier. Groaning you lay your head back down ignoring him. He taps you with his shoe repeatedly making you swat his leg away. “Get up. You’re making my floors dirty.” Glaring at him you reluctantly stand up, moving to crouch behind the bunches of flowers in case the car circles back around.

“Is someone after you or something?” Yoongi asks skeptically. Turning away from the window you stare at him and he sighs before running a hand through his hair almost nervously. “You get ten minutes before I want you out. I don’t need anyone like that coming here.” You’re not sure what he means when he says anyone like that but the slight worry in his eyes intrigues you. You glance back to his rolex that’s at least $10k and can’t help but wonder if flower boy is more than just your local florist.

True to his word flower boy lets you stay for ten minutes exactly before pushing you out of his shop like some unwanted animal. Jungkook stops the car in the middle of the street, getting out to pull you into his arms. He lets out a shaky sigh, almost like he’d been crying, and you can’t help the way your heart stutters. Maybe you and Jungkook do have a chance. You don’t get long to ponder it though because he pulls away just as quickly, nodding to flower boy who stands in the doorway of the shop before climbing back inside the car. Flower boy’s face is expressionless and makes you a little uneasy. “Thanks for harboring me flower boy.” You joke and he rolls his eyes.

“Just what I need, a fugitive on the run.” He says dryly. The corners of his mouth quirk up and you grin at him.

“I’ll see you around flower boy.”

“Yoongi!” He yells over Jungkook’s honking as you turn to get back into the vehicle.

“Who was that?” Jungkook asks, his jaw ticking. His fingers tap against the steering wheel in an annoyed manner and you lean back against your window to smirk at him.

“Be careful there Jeon, some people might think you’re jealous.” He glares at you and you giggle. “Aww do you care about me?” You tease, reaching over the center console to pinch his cheek. He slaps your hand away and flips you off which only makes you laugh harder. When you settle down and wipe the tears from your eyes you say, “he’s the owner of the shop. I think we’re friends.”

“You have a friend? I’m shocked.” You slap his bicep, completely offended.

“I mean we’re friends aren’t we?”

“Yeah. Friends.” Jungkook says the word pointedly, almost like it’s left a bad taste in his mouth which confuses you. It was his decision to stay friends, saying he could only be friends with benefits at most. But now he says the word like he wants more. Does he? Or was he simply reminding you of what you both are? What you’ll only ever be. Why does this have to be so confusing?

“Jungkook I-“

“Get down.” Jungkook interrupts and your eyes widen. Twice in one day? Well you shouldn’t be surprised since you’re the leader of a big gang and all. Folding your upper half against your thighs you hold your breath, your heart racing in your chest. Even though you’ve faced near death many times, you’ll never get comfortable with death knocking on your doorstep. Ironic since you’re a killer yourself. You should be comfortable with dying and yet it’s one of the things you’re scared of the most. But you trust Jungkook, so as he gets his gun out of the waistband of his pants you take a deep breath. You’ll be okay as long as he’s with you. Jungkook curses under his breath and you panic when you notice him roll his window down, his gun pointed out of it. Is the car pulling up next to you? Sitting up despite Jungkook’s command you pull out your knives, hoping to at least nail your attacker with one if you and Jungkook are ambushed. In some instances a surprise knife can win in a gun fight. But at least if you and Jungkook do die, you’ll die trying. Reaching over you squeeze Jungkook’s hand in reassurance and also to feel his hand in yours for what could be the last time, your chest tightening as the car idles up beside you. The passenger door opens and you launch your knife, blinking confusedly as you hear a voice very similar to Jimin scream.

“What the hell Blossom?” Jimin yells, appearing in front of Jungkook’s window. He pays no mind to the gun resting in front of his face or the surprised look on Jungkook’s, only to the knife lodged in the exterior of his car. “I just got this wrapped.” He whines, stroking the side of his car with a pout. Yanking the knife out with a huff he hands it back to you, reaching into the car to unlock it before climbing into the backseat. “Why would you throw a knife at me?” Jimin asks as the car behind you honks, breaking you and Jungkook out of your haze as he presses on the gas, his gun lying on his lap. You take it from him and stick it in the cupholder, uncomfortable with it lying so freely with the safety off.

“We thought you were someone else.” You say, looking through the car mirrors. “I got shot at earlier.”

“Oh really?” Jimin asks excitedly. “It’s been so long since I got any action.”

“That’s because the last time you got a little too carried away.” You turn in your seat to scold him.

“Okay so I got a little trigger happy, sue me. I got the job done though didn’t I?” Jimin huffs, raising his palms in a defensive manner.

“Yeah but there were so many casualties the police thought there was a serial killer on the loose. We don’t need that kind of press.”

“You make me sound like some kind of psychopath.” Jimin whines and you and Jungkook look at each other knowingly.

“I hate you both.” Jimin glares with his arms crossed as the two of you burst into laughter.

When you return back to headquarters Jungkook returns to his stoic self, face void of any emotions. He goes back to acting like he doesn’t care about you, like the only reason he interacts with you is out of obligation. Sometimes you wonder if he actually does feel this way, his acting is so good. You sigh and run a hand through your slightly damp hair, moistened by the sweat from the stressful encounter earlier, and watch as his back disappears from view.

“Trouble in paradise?” Jimin asks and your eyes widen for a second.

“What are you insinuating Park Jimin?” You ask with a pointed gaze.

“You can drop the whole Blossom act babe, it’s just us three in the house. Besides you expect me to not notice two of my closest friends are in love with each other? You’re not exactly subtle about it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jungkook and I are just friends.” You say monotonously from having to repeat it so many times.

“Only’ll go as far as fuck buddies huh?” Jimin’s tone is pitying and you hate it. You hate that he’s so observant, that he somehow knows your exact situation. Did Jungkook confide in him or is Jimin really more intuitive than you thought? It’s hard enough to be vulnerable in front of Jungkook and you love him. The thought that Jimin can read you so easily is unsettling. “He talked to me about it when he was drunk. That’s how I know.” What is Park Jimin, some kind of mindreader?

“Did he say anything else? About- about us?” You can’t stop the question from falling from your lips, not when you can find out what Jungkook is thinking. Sometimes when you’re just cuddling in your bed after catching your breaths after sex, you’ll talk about random things. But you can’t help but feel like he’s holding back. Like there’s something on the tip of his tongue that he bites back. You wish he’d just say it, just end it if that’s what he’s been thinking. You don’t know how much longer you can take this before it breaks you entirely. Before you’re so far gone that you lose all sense of yourself, that the you you were pre-jungkook is gone entirely, lost amongst your murky memories. You worry you’re already past the point of no return.

“He wishes things were different. He just kept repeating that over and over. That he wishes he could go back and change the past.” Jimin’s eyes are rounded with sympathy and you wish you’d have never opened your mouth.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jimin places his hand on your arm and you shrug it off, wanting to be alone. To get out of this suffocating atmosphere, away from the damning thoughts running through your mind. He must not want you anymore. He wishes you’d have never hooked up that one night two years ago. That he didn’t fall in love with you. He must regret you. You can’t fault him for it. How could someone really love the monster you’ve become? “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

“Y/n I- it’s not the way you think.” You brush off his comment and skirt around his outstretched hand, not wanting to hear what Jimin has to say anymore. You’ve already reached your conclusion. If he doesn’t want you anymore and he’s too chicken to tell you, you’ll end it yourself.

Walking into your bedroom you slam the door to vent out some of your anger, but mostly to give you some release from the overarching sadness. Two years, two years about to end like they’re nothing. You hop into the shower so you can pretend your tears are droplets of water letting the warmth comfort you. If you close your eyes you can pretend the warmth is Jungkook, which only makes your heart break further. Your chest aches, slowly throbbing. It’s like you can physically feel it breaking, each piece dropping to your stomach and making you queasy. You stay in there even as the water runs cold and your skin forms goosebumps. It distracts you from the sudden emptiness you feel. Just how much of yourself did you give to Jungkook? When you step out the house is eerily quiet, seemingly void of all life. How ironic given how you feel. Flopping down onto your bed in just a towel you stare at the ceiling. You wish you were Blossom, hard-headed and apathetic. You wish you couldn’t feel anything, that nothing meant anything to you. That Jungkook meant nothing to you.

Your door opens and you jump, drawn out of your somber thoughts. You don’t have to look up to know who it is. Only one person would bother coming in with this much nonchalance. “What’s up with you?” Jungkook says, closing your door and flopping down beside you. “I just finished training and thought I’d come up since the house is empty.”

“What are we doing Jungkook?”

“I mean I thought we were about to have sex but-“

“No I mean what are we doing? You clearly don’t love me like I love you and I’m just hurting myself, wishing for something I’ll never have. We should just end it here before I get hurt any further.” Your heart is pounding, eyes watering as you stare blankly at the ceiling. You’re doing this for the best you tell yourself. Jungkook is silent and you squeeze your eyes shut tightly like you can hide from the situation.

“You think I don’t love you? You think I don’t mean it when I say it.” He laughs but there’s no humor in his voice. Just malice as his hurt takes the form of anger. “You know I don’t just say that shit. I say I love you because I do. Because you-“ He pauses and you can’t help but turn your head to look at him as his voice wavers. Tears silently drip down his cheeks and you can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, only staring at the downturn of his lips.

“Because I what Kook?”

“Nevermind. It clearly doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“It does! I’d give my life for you Jungkook and it scares me that I feel this way about you but I don’t know if you’d do the same.” You’re both crying now, staring at each other with frowns on your faces.

“If you have to question it then you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” He murmurs, placing his hand on your cheek before finally making eye contact with you. You don’t know what to say, know what to do, so you kiss him. You kiss him with everything that you have and hope that the feelings you have for him are felt through it. His other hand finds your hip and pulls you up to straddle him.

“I’m sorry.” You murmur between the kisses you place along his neck. Both his hands are on your hips and your towel is held between your bodies which are tightly pressed together.

“I know. I’m sorry too. I-I’ll try harder, for you.” He gasps when you bite down on the junction between his shoulder and neck, his grip tightening. Your mouth finds his own again in thanks and you sigh against him as his tongue swipes on your lower lip. Jungkook and you have never been very good at voicing your feelings, much preferring the silent conversation of meaningful glances and physical touch. It’s easier this way, to be vulnerable.

“I love you.” You say, pulling back and hiding your face in his neck to catch your breath.

He nudges you with his nose to get you to look back up at him. “I love you too.” He whispers and for the first time it feels like a dagger; the realization that although he loves you, it’ll never never be enough to be with you, carving in deep.

“Get up bitch, we got trouble.” Jimin yells, storming into your room and waking up you and Jungkook. Groggily you sit up, still emotionally exhausted from your conversation with Jungkook and the stress from literally running for your life.

“Ever heard of privacy Park?” You ignore the way Jungkook scrambles away from you to continue the facade that the two of you are just friends, despite Jimin already knowing about you two.

“You really think you have privacy when this place is lined with cameras? I don’t even want to know how many tapes the two of you have probably made. Although maybe you like that sort of thing.” Jimin teases and both you and Jungkook flip him off.

“You’re disgusting. I can’t believe I used to share a bath with your nasty ass.”

“You wound me.” Jimin sighs dramatically before flopping down onto your bed. “Anyways, I just came here to tell you that two of your boys just got killed in a low-level trade so I’m assuming MKJ discovered that their little rats are dead.”

“Jimin they were still people, they had families.”

“Well they should’ve thought about their families before getting in this business. You know what your dad always said, it’s kill or be killed.”

“And exactly how did that work out for him?” You ask making Jimin fall quiet. It’s no secret that you and your father had a rocky relationship to say the least. He was the whole reason you were in this business anyways, as his only chid you were expected to take over his thrown. And it was no surprise that he died young, what with his life motto now being lived by Jimin. Sure killing others does save you at that moment, but it comes with an ever-growing list of enemies and a target on your back. So instead of getting a high school diploma at eighteen you got a gang.

“Anyways…what do you want to do?” Jimin asks.

“We’ll carry on business as usual. They’re planning something if all they did was jump two guys in retaliation to the death of their allies. So we’ll tighten our borders and distribute the new ammunition out to the different districts. Wire ten percent of the money we took to the corrupt officers to monitor MKJ territory for any activity. I want Taehyung monitoring their current known safe houses and we’ll have some of the upper ranks tap any cars in the area belonging to them. We’ll force them to show their hand.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little too casual about this? The last time we had a gang war was when your dad…”

“Died? Yes Jungkook I do remember that.” You huff, rolling your eyes in irritation.

“I just think we should be more cautious because we lost the last one. We’ve been rebuilding ever since.” Jungkook says.

“Why do you think you have a say in this Jungkook? You had barely even been initiated at that point. I was the one who dealt with all this shit, I was the one who pulled us out of it.”

“You didn’t make me second in command for no reason. I get a say in what happens as much as you do!” Jungkook yells and you laugh.

“You really think you can tell me how to run my gang?” You say incredulously. “All you are is a pretty face Jeon.” You don’t mean it, you regret the words the moment they leave your mouth. But you’ve always been good at self-destruction.

“That’s all you think I am?” His words are loud but his demeanor is quiet, made little by your low blow. By your invalidation of all his hard work, of his sacrifice.

“I’m leaving. I can’t deal with this shit right now.” You say, walking away because it’s easier. It pains you to look at Jungkook right now. The hallway is silent as you walk towards the car and you pray to hear Jungkook’s hurried footsteps behind you. You pause for a moment by the door and wait for Jungkook to catch up, to not let you leave alone and yet he doesn’t come. With a sigh you grab the keys off the hook and drive to the only other safe place you have.

When you were younger you weren’t allowed to leave the house alone, either your mother or one of your father’s men had to come with you. It’s understandable given that you were your father’s weakness, well supposed weakness anyways. Anyone close to your family however would’ve told them to not waste their energy taking you. The only time you ever saw your father was when he was telling you how much of a disappointment you were. And when it got too much, when you couldn’t shake the dark thoughts from your mind, you would sneak off to a small park a half-mile from your house and climb to the top of an old tree where you could pretend you were touching the clouds.

The tree is not as nice as you remember, but childlike innocence does make the world around you seem prettier than it is. Pulling yourself up you sit in the crook of the lowest branch and the trunk, afraid of any of the higher branches not being sturdy enough. Taking a deep breath you shiver at the slight chill to the air but your limbs relax anyways. You keep replaying your conversation with Jungkook in your head. You’re a horrible person, hurting the person you love. You don’t deserve him, all you do is hurt people. All you bring is pain.

“You stalking me?” A voice says from below you and you jump, having to grab onto the tree to prevent yourself from falling backwards. Hastily you blink away the tears in your eyes and laugh down at Yoongi.

“Ah yeah of course. I just can’t get enough of your tsundere vibes.”

Yoongi gives you a gummy smile before fake gagging, folding over in half while retching. “Ugh I can’t believe I’m friends with a weeb.”

“Alright prima donna, how did you know what it was if you aren’t one?” His silence makes you giggle and you find yourself forgetting about your argument with Jungkook. Being with Yoongi is nice, it’s easy. It feels normal, something that you’ve wanted your whole life. Barking sounds from across the field and you and Yoongi both watch as a brown ball of fluff comes charging towards you both. Crouching down, Yoongi opens his arms for the small creature to jump into them, the force enough to send them both into the grass. Yoongi giggles as the little dog squirms in his arms and you feel your heart melt a little at the wholesome scene.

“I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. You’ve just never bothered to ask.”

“What’s its name?”

“Holly.” Yoongi says with a soft look on his face, standing up with Holly in his arms to bring the animal closer to you. Tentatively you stick your hand out to the small dog, squirming when it begins to avidly lick your hand. “Ahh look at that he likes you.”

“I mean of course he does. I’m great, how could he not?”

“Real humble too.” Yoongi remarks, but the sarcasm is foiled by the corner of his lips curling upwards. His noticeably pink and soft-looking lips. Wait what? Before Yoongi can notice your staring you turn your attention back to the dog. “So what are you doing out here..In a tree?”

“Just needed some place to think is all.” You shrug.

“You should think less, it’s way more fun.”

“If I stop thinking I’ll die.” You say because truly if you take a moment to breathe someone probably will have a knife to your throat. You always need to be one step ahead.

“That’s a little morbid.” Yoongi says and you laugh it off.

“Yeah I’m just overdramatic.”

‘You know, I picked up on that.”

“Oh really?” You ask.

“Yeah and despite that I still like you.” Yoongi says, setting Holly down to walk closer to you.

“That so?” You ask coyly, raising a brow. He hums in response, stopping when he’s finally standing between your legs. You should really back away, tell him you’re with Jungkook. Except you’re not, you have no obligation to Jungkook. You’re not his girlfriend and you never will be. And it's with that notion that you lean down and kiss Yoongi. His lips are just as soft as you imagined, tinged with a faint rose flavor which is ironic given his profession.

Ever since you and Yoongi kissed you haven’t been able to get him off your mind. Despite his callous persona he’s actually quite sweet, texting you multiple times a day to see how you’re going and how your day is. The only problem is that you can’t exactly tell Yoongi what you do and how your actual day is because really who would want to date someone who killed someone when they were just eight years old. Granted it was only because your father forced your hand: either you killed the mysterious man or he killed your mother. But regardless, if given the choice you wouldn’t even want to be you so why would anyone want to date you? So instead you told him that you’re the CEO of a small business which is true. Your business is just illegal and you have a different title although you’re still the head.

“He texts you all the fucking time. Does he not have a job?” Jungkook huffs as your phone chimes with yet another text from Yoongi. You never told Jungkook about that day at the park with Yoongi given your already rocky relationship, but it felt too dishonest to pretend Yoongi is someone else. Jungkook is still less than happy with Yoongi texting you despite your insistence that you’re just friends. Though, can friends really kiss and still be just friends? The thought of kissing him makes your stomach erupt in butterflies and you can’t stop yourself from grinning.

“He does have a job. He was just checking in.”

“He’s always just checking in.” Jungkook says before rolling his eyes and moving to grab his stuff from your room.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to be here while you text him with that big ass smile on your face.”

“I don’t see why you’re so upset. Can I not have a friend Jungkook?”

“Yeah, you’re friends.” Jungkook scoffs and you furrow your brows.

“What are you saying Jungkook?”

“Don’t you think he texts you a little too often to just be friendly. He’s clearly just trying to get in your pants.”

“Jungkook there’s no need to be jealous.” You huff growing frustrated.

“I think you should find a new florist.”

“Jungkook you can’t control me. Yoongi is my friend and as your-“ you pause, the word girlfriend sitting on your tongue before you stop yourself. “You don’t get to decide who I get to hang out with.” You huff and Jungkook pokes his tongue into his cheek, fingers gripping your bedroom door handle tightly. He clenches his hands a few times and you huff. Since when did things with Jungkook get so hard?

“So you’re just going to hang out with him despite knowing he just wants to fuck you?” Jungkook spits out, teeth clenched tightly together.

“I don’t know anything Jungkook. Is it really so hard to believe someone could just like me enough to want to be my friend?” Your voice falls off at the end and Jungkook turns to you, sharp eyes rounding a little when he notices how small you’ve become.

“I-I just think he wants more.” He says softly, reaching over carefully to take your hand in his own like he’s scared you’ll pull away. As if for extra measure he places your conjoined hands in his lap and soothingly rubs his thumb across the back of your hand. You suppose this is his way of saying he’s sorry.

“I just want a friend.” You murmur, looking out of the window to avoid him.

“You have me.” The both of you fall into a heavy silence, ‘am I not enough’ hangs limply between you.

Hours later you finally make it out of your room and head downstairs to find Taehyung. Unsurprisingly he’s got a whole spread next to him, any snack you could think of within arms reach. Grabbing the bowl of fruit you begin munching on them while Taehyung prepares his update for you. “Just because you’re a criminal does not mean you have to be a thief.” He scolds, taking the bowl away from you and cradling it to his chest.

“Why do none of you remember that I’m your boss?” You whine and Taehyung only smiles.

“Because we get to see the actual Y/n who’s really a sweetheart despite her situation. Don’t get me wrong though, I definitely am still afraid of you because I know you could kill me at a moment’s notice. Anyways, before we get into business how has my little ninja been?”

“Taehyung I use knives not throwing stars.”

“Same thing.” He shrugs.

“And fine I guess. Things with Jungkook have been rough but when haven’t they?” You say with a pathetic chuckle.

“He’ll come around. You know how he’s been struggling with his brother.”

“He’s been struggling ever since he first came here! That was three years ago Taehyung, how much longer should I have to wait?”

“It’s not just that. He had me search for his brother last week to send him a birthday card and there’s no record of him for the past six months.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, it’s like the guy just vanished.”

“So he’s either dead or doesn’t want to be found.” You say.

“Someone really knew what they were doing when they cleared him too, I can’t even find a trace.”

“Isn’t Jungkook’s scar from him and his brother fighting over the computer?” You ask, despite knowing the answer.

“Yeah but I don’t really see the relevance.”

“I mean that they’re both computer nerds. So his brother could’ve done that himself and the question is if he did, why? And why didn’t he tell Jungkook?”

With the news of Jungkook’s brother’s suspicious disappearance you’re more on edge than normal. You have a feeling Jungkook’s brother is not as innocent as Jungkook chooses to see him. After all, the whole reason Jungkook is in your gang is because he took on his brother’s debt and joined in his place. Taehyung also said that the safe houses are oddly quiet and so is the server that Taehyung managed to hack into. No one is talking. Which can only mean that they know someone is listening. Therefore, all your high ranking members are on house arrest much to their dismay. “I can’t believe you’re making me stay home for the next week.” Jimin whines, sprawled across the kitchen island as if it’s a sofa. They do say hoes like high places.

“Think of it like a staycation. It’s a much needed break.”

“We’re sitting ducks at this point. MKJ might as well ambush us now and get it over with.” Jungkook says and you slap his bicep in protest.

“I’d like to keep the morale high you guys.”

“I don’t know why you two are complaining. Being home is nice.” Taehyung says and you send him a finger heart in appreciation.

“That’s because you haven’t left the house in five years.” Jimin teases and you can’t help but laugh. Taehyung truly is always home.

“I have everything I could possibly need and want here. Plus I’m the only one who has clean hands if we get arrested.”

“Technically you’re an accomplice.” You say and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Technically I can just erase all data of me in the system, replace it with Jimin’s information and if they find my fingerprints say that I was kidnapped and held in the computer room.”

“Wait why do I get to take the fall for you?”

“We all know you’d charm your way out of jail. Kook and Y/n not so much.”

“Hey I can be charming!” You say and all the boys just laugh in response.

“No one in the city would ever go for you given that you’re blossom.” Jimin says and you only scowl. Is it really so hard to believe?

“Yoongi would.” You say and your eyes widen when you realize your mistake. Jungkook just rolls his eyes in irritation.

“Yoongi would hit it and quit it.” Jungkook says callously and you can feel your anger spark. Why is Jungkook acting like a dick all of a sudden?

“Yeah because friends with benefits is so much better.” You scoff and Jungkook just scowls.

“At least I’m willing to come back.”

“Oh you’re willing? Wow I’m honored. Thank you for finding it in you to be so charitable.”

“Y/n I didn’t mean it like that.” He starts and you just roll your eyes.

“Save it Jeon, I don’t feel like hearing your bullshit any longer.” Angrily you stomp over to the garage, Jungkook hot on your heels.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s none of your concern Jungkook. You can stop fake caring now and go call Jennie for a quick fuck.”

“That was one time! I told you it was a mistake and we weren’t even dating!” Jungkook yells before skidding to a stop as you whip around to face him, your noses almost touching.

“You’re right Jungkook, we’re not dating. So you can sleep with whoever you want and I’ll do the same.” You’re half turned and ready to head out when Jungkook pulls you back, pulling you flush into him.

“I don’t want to do that though.” He whispers like he can no longer find his voice.

“Then what do you want Kook? Because I can’t keep sitting around and waiting for you to love me. I’m tired of hiding, I’m tired of wishing I was someone else so you could proudly say you love me. I don’t know what you want me to do because as much as you hate who I am I hate myself too. So what do you want me to do Kook because as much as I wish I was someone else I can’t change who I am.”

“I-I” Jungkook starts but his face keeps twisting as he struggles to find his words. In his struggle you find the answer.

When you get to Yoongi’s flower shop you’re still upset over Jungkook, so much so that not even the sweet aroma of the roses by the door can make the corner of your lips twitch upwards. You’re not quite sure why you actually came here but when you see Yoongi round the corner looking a little disgruntled about a customer at eight in the morning you can’t help but feel a little weight fall off your shoulder. Something about him just makes you relax, like he understands. He just has a comforting aura that you find yourself drawn to. When he looks up and spots you his mouth quirks upwards for a moment before it draws back down into an indifferent expression. “You haven’t stopped by in a while.” He says gruffly, more of a statement than a question. You frown and take a few steps forward, fingers tracing lily petals softly.

“I’ve just been really busy.” You weakly smile.

“Are you okay?” You turn your head quickly to find Yoongi standing directly in front of you, a look of worry on his face. When you close your eyes to blink you can see the same expression etched onto Jungkook’s face from last night. You’re such a burden, already weighing down on the mind of a practical stranger.

“I’m fine.” You say, once more steeling yourself. You’re strong, you don’t need someone to take care of you.

“You’re pretty easy to read you know? You weren’t even facing me directly and I could tell you were upset. Your eyebrows are so close together you basically have a monobrow.” He quips, indenting the space between your brows with the tip of his finger. You let out a small chirp and slap his finger away.

“I was just thinking.” You mumble and Yoongi smirks.

“Shocking, didn’t know you had a brain in there.” When you glare at him unamused it’s his turn to laugh, his lips curling upwards to reveal a gummy smile.

“But yeah, no need to worry about me.” You shrug and Yoongi smiles so wide his bottom teeth peek out. His eyes have a mischievous glint in them and you’re sure you’re gonna hate what is about to come out of his mouth.

“Oh I wasn’t. Your mood is just so sour it’s causing my flowers to wilt. You’re supposed to give them ten nice words a day you know.” He teases, already turning around to run behind the safety of the counter before you can smack his arm.

“Yoongi! How dare you!” You scold but your laughter slips through, causing your voice to go up an octave. “You suck.” You pout, following him to the counter and hopping up to sit down on it.

“Sure, make yourself comfortable.”

“I will.” You smile to which he only rolls his eyes. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you and you can’t recall the last time you just sat in a happy silence. Where it wasn’t weighed down by unspoken words or fear of what’s to come. When you could simply just be. It feels nice. Being with Yoongi feels nice. “I like hanging out with you.” You say suddenly and Yoongi jumps at the sound of your voice.

“Mmm I guess you’re tolerable.” He hums and you sigh.

“Would it kill you to be nice to me for one second?” You whine and you swear Yoongi snickers like the sound of you whining gives him immense joy.

“Fine. I too enjoy you loitering in my shop and not buying anything despite this being a place of business.”

“Why do I even bother?” You groan to yourself, ignoring the sound of Yoongi’s approaching footsteps. Instead you focus on the swing of your legs, reminding you of when you were younger and used to sit on the kitchen counter when your mother cooked. What a long time ago that was. Like he can tell you’re getting lost in your thoughts Yoongi clears his throat and you look up to see his nose scrunched in distaste while his arms are outstretched. You stare at him questioningly, eyes trailing down his figure and arms. You notice a faint tattoo peeking out from below his watch and your eyes fixate on it. The watch is almost the exact width of the tattoo like he’s trying to hide it. What just is he trying to hide?

“Okay weirdo, hug me now before the offer is off the table. You’ve been giving me ‘please hug me’ vibes ever since you walked in.”

“You can just admit you wanted a hug you know?” You tease, hopping off the counter to wrap your arms around his middle. His body is slim and you can easily wrap both arms around him but surprisingly it’s firm against your own, contrasting the soft plushness of his sweater. He smells like a meadow from working with all the flowers but the smell of something warm like whiskey or bourbon lingers as your head is tucked into his chest.

Perhaps you should think more things through. Perhaps you should pay more attention to the world around you since you’re at the top of plenty of hitlists. Perhaps you should stop being so reliant on Jungkook as you are now being chased through the city by who you only assume are some low level members of MKJ. The tires screech as you round a sharp corner and the car drifts into the opposing lane and you close your eyes tightly waiting for the inevitable crash yet somehow you are miraculously spared. Taking a deep breath you watch the car from the side view mirror behind you, trying to formulate a plan.You’re driving too fast to jump out safely and the drivers are clearly too experienced for you to shake them off in this dangerous game of mario kart. Unbuckling yourself you pull the knives from the waistband of your mini skirt and roll down the window.

Grabbing onto the handle above the window you glance out the windshield and calculate how many seconds you have to pop out the window and aim for the tires of the vehicle before you get your head blown off as you round the car to the left. The tires screech and the sound pierces your ears but your focus can’t be shaken as you aim for the two left side tires that come into view before ducking inside the body of the car as gun shots bounce off the vehicle. Hastily you scramble back inside and roll up the window, glancing behind the car to find one of your knives dug into the front tire. It pushes farther in as the tire continues to roll but you sigh in relief as the vehicle begins to slow down. That is until one of your own tires gets shot and the car starts bouncing as it rides the rim. “Shit!” You scream, the car already beginning to teeter to the side and you slam into your door, letting out a groan.

Today is really the day. Glancing out the window you can see the sidewalk clearly as the car begins its descent, the only thing you can hear over the sound of your heartbeat in your ears is the haunting dial tone of your phone. In your panic you just wanted to tell him one last time despite the argument that just occurred. The car finally slams against the pavement and begins to roll. Instinctively your body tenses, hand clutching the phone like it’s a lifeline. You hit your head against the broken windshield making your head throb. You can feel yourself beginning to slip out of consciousness and as your eyes begin to flutter, your eyes rolling back as you lose awareness, you can hear the faint sound of the dial tone. Jungkook never picks up.

When you wake up your hands are tied behind your back and you sigh, though it fails to escape with the gag placed in your mouth. With a bored expression you look around the room to try and figure out where exactly you are. In your line of business you know plenty of spots where shady shit can go down under the radar. The walls around you are comprised of brick, pieces of it falling as the building is beginning to crumble. The ceiling is stained various colors, likely from water damage and miscellaneous fluids. If you stare hard enough you’re pretty sure you can make out speckles of blood. Large poles are staggered around the room and you realize then that you’re in an abandoned fire house. You haven’t heard of any abandoned fire stations in the area so they must’ve taken you far out of the city. You should expect as much, it buys them more time as Jungkook and the others have to search longer to find you.

Frustrated you throw your head back in anguish and wince when your head smacks into the pole you’re tied to. Turning your wrists outwards, you free up your fingers and try tugging at the ends of the rope binding your hands together. Tugging a few times the rope refuses to give and you huff, sucking the inside of your cheek as you think of your next plan. Pulling your legs to your chest you wait in anticipation to feel the dig of the point of the knife tucked into your waist band into your thigh but the prick never comes. Damn, they took your knives too. You’ll have to commend them for being smart: checking for weapons. They’re a little less smart for not binding your legs and by giving you the ability to stand also giving you the ability to fight. Sometimes being a woman and constantly underestimated has its perks.

Boisterous laughter sounds from above you and suddenly two figures descend from above via the poles. “I’ve always wanted to do that.” The man laughs and you roll your eyes. Amateurs. You retract your previous statement of them being intelligent.

“You’re stupid.” The second man says and you nod in agreement. He spins on his heel to face you and smiles crookedly at you. His eyes gleam sickeningly and ruin his handsome face, the heart shaped smile now sinister and ironic. It’s clear no compassion is left in this man. “Oh Blossom, how I’ve longed to see you in person.” Walking forward his steps make no noise, his movements graceful like a dancer but as deadly as the twelve gauge he spins lazily between his fingers. For a fleeting moment you wonder if this is how your victims felt before they died, if this is how you looked to them. The thought makes you sick. You truly are a monster. “I even came in person to see you, sweetheart. You’re quite a hard woman to find you know. Such a shame you rarely leave home.” He stops in front of you to caress the side of your face and you retract your leg to kick him in the knee only to widen your eyes in surprise when he catches your ankle before you can even graze him.

“You don’t think I got to be head of operations just because of my handsome face right sweetheart? No baby, I got it through killing anyone that came in my way. Ruthlessly, viciously, tortuously. And it really would make my day to see you beg.” With a hand on your shoulder he roughly pushes you down so you fall on your knees, once again taking to caressing your cheek. “Now beg.” He growls, ripping the gag down your chin and pressing the barrel to the center of your forehead.

“Fuck you.”

“Ahh I know sweetheart, everyone wants to. A shame you have to be my enemy though, we’d have a good time together.”

“You’re disgusting.” You snarl and turn your head away from him. The hand on your cheek moves to grip your chin so roughly you’re sure a bruise is going to form.

“You’re really going to give me such disrespect when your life is on the line? You’re already on your knees so be a good girl like the little bitch you are.” His eyes burn with fury, the rage taking over his whole body as his brown eyes take on a more red hue in the streak of light coming from a hole in the wall. When you stare blankly at him he reaches his arm back and smacks the heel of the gun into the side of your cheek. You can feel the blood forming inside your mouth and you spit it onto his shoes making him scream in frustration. You fix him with your own crooked grin, fully letting your Blossom persona take form.

“You really think this is scaring me? I’ve been kidnapped before sweetheart. This isn’t anything special.” You look him dead in the eyes and raise your eyebrows in challenge. He clicks off the safety and you give a bored sigh, hiding the racing of your heart.

“Hoseok you can’t kill her. We can’t exploit her gang if she’s dead.”

“You’re right.” Hoseok sighs sadly and you give him a sarcastic smile. “Doesn’t mean I can’t torture her though.” Before you can think he shoots you in the thigh, causing you to cry out in pain and drop to the floor, tears welling in your eyes from the pain.

“Look at you, tied up and weak. You’re pathetic. You’re nothing without Jungkook by your side. You know that right? You can’t even-” Hoseok says laughing mercilessly.

“Don’t fucking finish that sentence.” Jungkook’s voice rings through the empty warehouse and your blood goes cold. It’s so low, practically a growl.

“Ahh I see your bodyguard has joined the party.” Hoseok claps excitedly, turning around only to be shot in the chest. He drops down in front of you and gives you a deranged smile. “I live for this shit.” His colleague falls as Jungkook shoots him as well but Hoseok pays him no mind. Instead, he smiles brightly at you as you look down at him, pressing a hand to his chest before placing it on your shirt, leaving a bloody hand print. “You’re next. See you in hell.” He giggles before his breath starts to weaken and his eyes lose their light. Jungkook is before you in an instant, hands coming to either side of your face to get you to look at him. Your eyes are still glassy making him blurry but he’s still so warm. And you let yourself bask in his warmth, pushing your head into his chest to sob as the memories come back to you.

On your seventh birthday you were abducted by two strange men. They lured you away from your mother, seeking aid to help another child in pain. Like the naive girl you were you were eager to help, following them to the other end of the park where you were stuffed into the trunk of a car. Your screams for your mother to save you had gone unheard and you wound up tied to a plastic chair and abandoned in the middle of an old warehouse. There you stayed for two days, praying for your parents to come rescue you except they never arrived. Instead two teenagers found you slumped into the chair, severely dehydrated and hungry, carrying you to the nearest hospital where you were finally reunited with your parents. You thought they’d be happy to see you, that their eyes would too be filled with tears of relief from being reunited. How foolish of you to think that your parents would care. Instead, as soon as you were discharged you were scolded, called numerous names synonymous with useless by your father. You were a failure, accepting help and not getting yourself out of there. You should know by now that no one will offer you help.

Two years later and you find yourself once again bound, your wrists raw and bloody from trying to get out of the harsh ties. The men only laugh sardonically as they carve into your arms and back, amused by your cries. They tortured you until you were half-conscious, finally succeeding in getting you to give information about your father. There you were once again left and using the bloodied knife they left behind you untied yourself and found your way home. You thought you’d make him proud; after all, you had done it without help. You saved yourself. Yet it didn’t matter because in saving yourself you sacrificed your father. Again you were reminded of what a failure you were, how he wished you’d have never been born. You were unlovable at best.

At thirteen you were taken at least three towns over, dropped off in the middle of the woods with your hands bound and your eyes covered by a blindfold. You spent the whole day just trying to get the stupid blindfold off so you could see what was around you before you got attacked by whatever was lurking in the forest. After nearly slicing yourself with a sharp rock you managed to cut the rope around your hands and spent the next week foraging in the woods and trying to find some sort of civilization to get your bearings. It took you two weeks to get home by foot, unaccepting of the pitied handouts and offerings to pay for you a bus ticket as you walked the whole way. Surely this time your father would be proud even if the kidnappers did nothing other than blindfold and bind you. It was an odd practice but you didn’t want to spare it a second thought, rubbing your arms as you recalled your worst kidnapping experience. Except as you rounded the corner to your father’s office you saw the two men who had taken you in the first place. Frozen in fear you could only stare as they stood before your father as he sat in his chair. Patiently you waited for him to punish them for taking you except much to your confusion he only smiled and paid them money. It’s like he’s rewarding them for taking you, for putting you through hell for the last two weeks. Unable to stop yourself you barged inside, wanting answers to your questions.

“Did you hire them to kidnap me?” You scream, overtaken by anger.

“Of course not my dear, I was paying them to bring you back however it seems you managed just fine on your own. I’m proud of you.” He smiles. Placated by finally earning your father’s love you only hugged him before walking off, making sure to fix the two kidnappers with your worst stare. It was only later at the “office” party did you discover your initial theory was correct as they were promoted to a higher ranking. Your hands trembled and eyes began to water as you realized that the one man who you’re supposed to trust lied directly to your face. Maybe he even hired the other people to kidnap you too. Now you’re questioning everything he’s ever told you, more than terrified of the man you’re supposed to call your father. God, you hate liars.

Jungkook calling your name breaks you out of your reverie and you sniffle, unaware that you had begun to shake. Jungkook pulls you farther into him, the seatbelt straining as you push against it. “It’s okay baby, I’ve got you. No one will hurt you when I’m here, I promise.” Despite the harsh words you said to him, he still forgave you and is taking care of you. You don’t deserve him.

“Are you okay?” You hold him by each bicep to ensure he can’t move as you assess his form looking for any sign of injury.

“You were just bound, shot, and kidnapped but you’re worried about me?” Jungkook laughs and you roll your eyes.

“This happens to me all the time remember?”

“Are you okay though? You just started shaking out of nowhere. Were you reliving your nightmares again?” Jungkook whispers into your ear, so low that you can barely make it out even though he’s right next to you.

Nodding, tears prickle at your eyes again and Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your head before stroking your hair, understanding that silent comfort is what you need at the moment.

It is safe to say that you have not left the house since you were kidnapped. Not only have you been coping with the trauma from your childhood but you’ve been struggling with recovering from a car accident and being shot. But most of all you’re lonely. Jungkook has barely been home, he’s set on revenge, determined to kill all of MKJ for what they did. In a way it’s heartwarming but you know that with each person he kills he dies a little inside. Your stomach churns with guilt and you decide that you need a distraction. Despite your promise to Jungkook to stay home where you’re safe- well as safe as you can get with a target always on your head- you grab the car keys and make your way to the flower shop.

When you pull into a spot your hands shake a little as your anxiety heightens and you nervously fiddle with the necklace Jungkook gave you for your birthday last year. Checking the street several times before you exit the car, you basically sprint- more like quickly hobble as your thigh still burns from being used- into the shop, wanting to be visible on the street for as little time as possible. You run into an unsuspecting Yoongi, not anticipating he’d be anywhere near the entry. He groans underneath you, the both of you sprawled across the floor. “Sorry!” You squeak and scramble off of him, while he mock glares at you and holds onto his lower back.

“Give me a warning next time will you? You’re heavy.”

“Thanks.” You deadpan, wholly unimpressed.

“Anytime.” He winks and you roll your eyes. “Hey you’ve been gone for a while. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” You tug again at the necklace and Yoongi’s eyes dart to the action. Cocking his head, he opens his mouth like he’s going to question you further but refrains.

“Well it’s good to see you anyways. If you need to talk about anything I’m here for you.” He places his hand on your elbow, tilting his head to look you in the eyes.

“Thank you Yoongi, I appreciate it.” The air between the two of you stills and you can’t find it in yourself to break the eye contact. It’s so comforting and safe, something you’ve been needing the past couple of weeks. You’re so lost in your thoughts that you don’t notice the way you’ve closed the gap between you until you can feel the soft puffs of his breath against your face. Yet despite the danger signs flashing through your head you can only flutter your eyes shut when Yoongi presses his lips to your own.

His lips are softer than you’re accustomed to, used to Jungkook’s slightly chapped ones- he constantly licks his lips as a nervous tick- and you can’t help but lean into Yoongi. Everything about him is just warm and soft: from his quiet, caring demeanor to his sweaters to his blonde hair that’s now laced between your fingers. Speaking of which, you give the strands a slight tug and he groans into your mouth, squeezing your hips in warning. You don’t take heed of it though and swipe your tongue across the seam of his lips. He immediately allows you entry and you only have control for a few seconds before he takes the lead, walking you backwards until your back hits the counter. You release his hair to move your fingers across his broad shoulders and down his slim waist, pulling him harder against you until the counter is digging uncomfortably in your back. He groans again when you roll your hips against his own before pulling away, hands on your hips to keep you in place as he separates. “I-I think we should take this slow.” He pants and you furrow your brows in confusion.

“What?”

“I- I really like you and I want to do this the right way. I want to at least take you on a date first.” His cheeks redden and you giggle at his sudden shyness.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You ask me on a date and then are surprised I say yes?” You tease and Yoongi just rolls his eyes, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“Shut up. Anyways, how about I close the shop up early and we go somewhere?”

“Sounds good.” You nod in affirmation.

When you get home hours later after a few more intense make out sessions with Yoongi, you don’t expect the way Jungkook is angrily seated on the edge of your bed, his arms crossed against his chest making his biceps swell. You’d laugh from the way he’s sitting, the perfect image of a parent catching their child after sneaking past curfew, if not for the way his eyes are looking at you. They’re icy, enough so that you visibly shiver unused to this look from him. Normally he gazes at you warmly and you’re not quite sure how to take this.

“You left.” He says monotonously, his voice edged with annoyance.

“I did. The wound has nearly healed over and I didn’t put a lot of strain on it. I’m a grown woman Jungkook, I don’t need to be under house arrest.”

“You were shot!” He yells, standing up and pulling on the strands of his hair. The frustration pours over, taking over his whole body as he begins pacing in front of you.

“I’ve been shot before.” You shrug which only pisses him off even more.

“That doesn’t matter. Hoseok was going to kill you and you’re acting like it was nothing. I almost watched you die! Don’t you understand?” He screams, chest beginning to heave as he stares at you with watery eyes.

“But I’m alive. Jungkook I’m okay.” You try and console, slowly moving towards him as if he’s a wounded animal. In a way he is.

“But I’m not!” You fall silent, hands falling to your sides as he begins to cry. You don’t know what to do, the only thing you can do is watch as he breaks down before you. Despite your previous situations, Jungkook has never let you see him break down, usually hiding it through sex or crying in the crook of your neck. This is uncharted territory and you don’t know how to navigate this situation. All you can think about is that you’re selfish. That you brought him this pain.

“I-I’m sorry.” You stutter. “This is all my fault.”

“You’re so selfish! Did you even think about me before you left?” He says and you only shake your head, eyes tearing up.

“I just wanted someone to talk to.” You murmur and Jungkook only stills, turning on his heel to face you.

“You went to see him didn’t you?” He says quietly, like if he says it any louder it’ll hurt. You can only nod.

“So while I’m on the streets fighting for you, almost dying just to protect your ass, you’re out with another guy.” He takes a few steps closer, inching you against the wall to take your chin between his fingers and maneuver your face around. “You even smell like his cologne.” He laughs dryly, placing a thumb on your bottom lip to pull it slightly. “And your lips are swollen. But just friends right?” He laughs again, unable to stop a tear from slipping down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” Your heart is breaking, you can feel it chipping piece by piece as more tears run down his face. You wish you could wipe them away but you’re frozen in place.

“Do you not love me anymore?” He whispers and just the thought makes your own tears spill over. You love Jungkook more than life. If it was between you and him, you would take the bullet for him in a second. Jungkook deserves a better life, one far away from you. Thankfully you’ve always been good at self destruction.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, overcome by the emotions flowing through you. You’re doing this for his own good, you’re doing this for his own good. It takes everything in you not to take it back when you can see his heart drop, when you can hear the shaky breath he inhales. You feel like you can’t breathe when he takes a step back, his eyes hardening the longer he stares until they’re filled with anger and hatred. You’re doing this for his own good. Only when the door slams shut and you’re left alone in your room do you collapse to the ground, shaking as you sob violently, biting down on your hand to quiet them.

Eventually the pain grows too much and like the coward you are you can’t face it alone. Unable to go to Jungkook for help you go to the only other person you can think of that offers you comfort and safety. When you get to Yoongi’s shop, only the light in the back is still on and you pray that Yoongi is here rather than that he forgot to turn off the light. Knocking almost frantically on the door you hope Yoongi will come and give you a piece of salvation, a moment to forget that you just broke the love of your life’s heart. It appears that pity is on your side as you see Yoongi round the corner from the back office begrudgingly and you can’t help your eyes from tearing up. When Yoongi notices you his eyes widen greatly as he takes in your tear-stained face, jogging towards the door and fumbling with the lock. When the door finally opens you push into his arms, thankfully he’s prepared for you this time, and bury your face in his neck. You sob harder as you remember Jungkook used to do this to you when he was upset, the memory of his broken face resurfacing.

“I got you.” Yoongi shushes you quietly, rubbing one hand up and down your back while the other clutches the back of your head. Your body shakes as you continue to punish yourself, replaying your last moments with Jungkook. You feel even worse running back to Yoongi afterwards, the person who made Jungkook question your love for him. Yet here you are wrapped in his arms, being comforted by him because you can no longer have Jungkook. “What happened?” Yoongi asks when you finally quiet down, pulling away enough to look you in the eyes while stroking your cheekbones.

“I just broke my best friend’s heart.” You say brokenly, a sob threatening to resurface as your lip begins to quiver again.

“Yeah unrequited love is a bitch, but you can’t help the way you feel. If you don’t love them back you can’t feel bad about it and it’s unfair to both of you to try and force yourself to love them.” Yoongi says softly, still stroking your cheeks. Little did he know that you broke Jungkook’s heart out of love.

“Yeah. I just don’t want to go home right now.”

“You can stay with me for a few days if you want? I have a spare toothbrush and some clothes that should fit you. Only if you want to of course.” His ears tint pink as he rubs the back of his neck nervously, his sleeve pulling up to reveal his tattoo. Interlude.

“If you wouldn’t mind.” It’s your turn to be awkward as you fiddle again with the necklace Jungkook gave you wrapped around your neck. You should probably take it off but it’s the only piece of him you have left right now. Yoongi leads you upstairs with a smile and you can’t help your wondering eyes as you take in the hidden loft upstairs. The scent of flowers wafts up from the shop below and you can’t help the corner of your mouth from quirking up.

The furniture is a muted brown and when paired with the sweet aroma of budding flowers you can’t help but feel calm. Yoongi fumbles with his things, frantically picking up clothes strewn across the floor and murmuring apologies about the mess but you pay him no mind as you continue to look around. It seems that Yoongi only has the bare necessities in his apartment: a bed, a night stand, and a small dining table with two chairs. Your eyes linger on the walls for any decorations and yet there’s none. Glancing at his nightstand table you see a small polaroid tucked into a frame but before you can walk any closer Yoongi hurries you into the small kitchen.

“Are you hungry? I can cook you something.” He offers and you nod. Despite your lack of appetite you know you should eat. Rifling through his cupboards he only finds two packs of instant ramen and gives a small chuckle. “Not exactly the first meal I thought I’d make you but this will have to do.” He mumbles to himself and you can’t help the small smile on your face. How sweet.

“You’ve thought about cooking food for me?” You tease and his ears tint pink again as he rubs against the back of his neck.

“Maybe. I’ve thought about a lot of things with you.” It’s your turn to get shy by his sudden boldness and you only laugh.

“That so?” You ask as he pours water in the cups from the kettle and lets them sit as he moves to corner you against the corner. He hums in response, moving to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Like what?” You press.

“Like what waking up next to you would be like or holding your hand.” One of his hands drops to intertwine with your own and you can only grin. Things with Yoongi are so easy, it’s the type of relationship you’ve always dreamed of. Perhaps that’s why you relish his words and urge him to continue, the ache caused by Jungkook dulled. “I wonder if you’d like my favorite places too. I wonder about starting a new life with you.”

“You sure about that?” You tease, unsure about how to react to his sentiments. It’s everything you’ve wanted to hear and you’re swooning from that but something still feels missing, incomplete.

“Been sure about it since the moment I met you. What you’ve gone through, who you are despite your circumstances is inspiring. When I look at you I want to be better.” You pause for a minute confused but don’t have much time to consider his words before Yoongi presses his lips onto yours, the hand on your cheek moving to entangle itself in your hair. He forces your mouth open with a small tug to your hair, his tongue slipping to brush your own as you part your lips to gasp. He wastes no time in claiming dominance, the hand not in your hair reaching behind you to grab your ass. You jump at the sudden squeeze and Yoongi smirks against your mouth, a hand coming down to grab your other thigh and urge you to jump. With your legs now encircling his waist Yoongi carries you to the bed with a surprising ease and you welcome the new distraction.

You awake to the smell of bacon and coffee, rousing from your deep slumber to come face to face with Yoongi. He smiles shyly at you as he sets the coffee and plate of breakfast down next to you on the bed, blushing a little as the covers slip down and reveal your nude torso. Quietly he hands you his shirt that was thrown on the ground in your haste last night and you slip it on before taking a sip of coffee. “Breakfast in bed after our first time together? You’re really setting the bar high Yoongi.” You tease but are appreciative all the same.

“Good. You deserve to be spoiled. You can think of this as a makeshift first date since I broke my promise.”

“You’re too sweet to me. I don’t deserve it.” Like he can sense your self-hatred Yoongi comes to crouch in front of you, meeting your downward gaze. Taking both of your hands into his, he smiles softly at you.

“You’re a good person y/n. You deserve all the love and kindness in the world.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew my past.”

“Our past does not define us. I’ve done some really shitty things in my past, I’ve hurt many people. But the important thing is that I grew and I’m not the same person anymore. And while you may have also done shitty things in your past, I promise you underneath all of that lies a good person, the person that I see.” Your eyes water and you sniffle, turning away to hide your tears. “Hey, hey it’s okay to cry. Crying does not make you weak.” Yoongi coos, gently placing his fingers around your chin to turn you back to face him. Somehow he knows all the words you need to hear. It’s almost like he already knows everything about you.

You can only smile weakly at him, despite his words you can’t help but feel pathetic. “Now eat up before the food gets cold. Don’t want my money to get put to waste.” You laugh a little and he only grins, stealing a piece of bacon from your plate.

“Hey!” You call but he doesn’t pay you any mind as he goes to fix his own plate. When Yoongi settles down beside you the both of you fall into a comfortable silence and you chuckle. How domestic, you muse to yourself.

The day passes quietly as you help Yoongi, your phone untouched all day. It was nice to hang around the shop and tend to the flowers, you felt calmer than you have in a long time. Only a few customers visit the shop and you spend the majority of the time getting to know Yoongi better. Before he became a florist he used to work in computer information systems but wanted to change to a slow paced career. He also is new to the area, having only moved into town six months ago. He had a soft spot for cats and music, hoping one day to be able to have a house with a grand piano.

“You’re an interesting man Yoongi.” You laugh when he finishes reciting the story about how he once played the recorder with his nose. “Speaking of which you never gave me your last name. What am I supposed to call you when I get mad at you?” You tease, missing the way Yoongi stiffens for a moment.

“Min. Now do you want to go out to dinner and get something to eat? I think you deserve a real date.” Looking down at your clothes- one of Yoongi’s hoodies and a pair of sweats- you frown.

“I’m not exactly dressed for a date.” You say gesturing to the sweats.

“I think you look hot. I was thinking sushi?”

“I guess.” You say, following him out the door as he locks up shop. Hands intertwined you meander down to a sushi place a few blocks down and out of habit you check behind you to make sure no one is following. You relax when you notice it’s just a random guy in a hoodie and hat, turning your attention back to Yoongi as he rambles about the new order of flowers he’s getting.

Inside the restaurant isn’t very packed, quite empty for a monday night. You like the fact that less people are there though because it allows you to have an eye on every person in the room, on the off chance that a threat does come in. Surveying the room you notice that the guy with the black jacket and hat has also come in but the hat is a little too low for you to see his face. Odd. You push him to the back of your mind however when Yoongi grabs your hand from across the table and smiles gently at you. When the waiter comes he addresses the two of you as a couple and you can only look away shyly, not really having pictured yourself in a relationship with Yoongi. The thought makes you warm though as you realize every day could be like today. So calm and relaxing, so simple. You breathe a little easier at the thought.

“I can’t believe you ate 3 rolls on your own.” Yoongi says, mouth wide open as you finish your last bite. What can you say? The sushi was good and you haven’t got to eat out in months as tensions with MKJ have been so thick. You can say you’re enjoying one of the last few peaceful moments you’ll have for a while as you anticipate MKJ’s next move.

“What can I say? I’m making the best of a free meal.” You giggle which only makes Yoongi roll his eyes.

“Bold of you to assume I’m going to take the bill based on gender roles.”

“I mean it’s only fair since you’re the one who suggested this date.” You smile coyly, reaching for the check only for it to be snatched by Yoongi.

“You got me there blossom.” He smiles and your blood runs cold. Does he know? Yoongi’s eyes also widen and he coughs awkwardly. “Not into pet names? I just thought it was cute since you love flowers so much.” Oh the irony.

“No no, it’s…fine. I just wasn’t expecting it is all.” You laugh it off and Yoongi eyes you.

“If you’re sure.” He says.

The night is quiet, the only sound coming from Yoongi’s soft breathing beside you as he’s sound asleep with an arm strewn lazily around your waist. You’ve been good on not checking your phone for Jungkook all day but with the moon high above you lose your restraint, unable to sleep unless you know he’s okay. Slipping out of bed you grab your phone and head towards the bathroom, not wanting Yoongi to wake up and see you searching for a message from Jungkook. Butterflies erupt in your stomach as the nerves and fear set in at what could appear on the screen. What if he hasn’t even messaged you? What if he has called you ten times? Do you even want him to contact you?

Turning on the device you bounce on your feet, leaning onto the counter for support. Nothing. The screen is blank, your messages empty. Except suddenly they start flooding in, your phone buzzing consistently as messages from Jimin and Taehyung flood your phone. Though none are from Jungkook and your heart sinks. He doesn’t want to talk to you. You suppose this is for the best because now he can cut ties with the gang seeing as he doesn’t want you around anymore and paid off the debt long ago. Perhaps the most concerning thing is the last text from Jimin: You lied. Jimin knows, he knows that you lied about no longer loving Jungkook but you can only hope he won’t share this information. Taehyung on the other hand is just disappointed in you for hurting his best friend.

Tears prickle your eyes but you blink them away because you caused this. As long as you keep telling yourself you’re doing this for him you’ll be okay. With a few more sniffles you head back into the room and set the device face down before crawling back into bed with Yoongi, your heart heavy.

The next day passes slower as you’re unable to get Jungkook out of your mind. You want to make sure he’s okay and that he’s been eating well and yet you’re scared that if you reach out you’ll only make him feel worse. If you contact Jimin he’ll just ask you where you are and tell you to face your problems rather than run from them and Taehyung is probably too upset at you to give you any information on Jungkook’s condition. The only thing you can do is hope that time will heal his heartache and eventually he’ll understand your sacrifice. Yoongi says nothing about your sudden quietness and you’re grateful for that. Instead he gives you silent comfort in the form of soft kisses and hugs.

There’s more customers today than yesterday and you enjoy watching Yoongi as he works, making pretty bouquets upon request and whispering ten nice words to the flowers. You catch him doing them again to a bunch of anemones before handing you one. “For you.”

“Fading hope?” You ask and he frowns.

“Anticipation for what’s to come. Think of the positives blossom.” He says, tapping the tip of your nose and causing you to smile.

“Sorry Mr. Flower Whisperer. I only send flowers for negative occasions.”

“What a waste of such delicate beauty.” Yoongi tuts and you just roll your eyes.

“There’s beauty in tragedy you know?”

“For the amount of flowers you buy, you must be surrounded by tragedy.” He quips and your smile falls.

“Yeah you could say that.” You mumble and Yoongi frowns.

“Well at least you have me to teach you about the beautiful things in life.” He finishes the statement by taking your hand in his own and twirling you around just to make you smile. “Your smile being one of them.” He says and you scrunch your nose.

“Gross, you’re so mushy.” You tease only to have Yoongi tickle your sides in retaliation.

“Accept my love!” He yells as you squirm to get away from his arms. The sound of your phone ringing makes you both still before you run over and answer without looking at the contact name.

“Jungkook?” You say almost breathlessly, your heart racing in anticipation as you fail to notice the way Yoongi’s smile drops.

“No.” Jimin says and you sigh in disappointment.

“How is he?” You ask and you can practically see Jimin rolling his eyes.

“Yes I’m doing fine, thank you. Besides why’re you asking me that when he’s with you?”

“What do you mean? Jungkook isn’t here.” There’s a pause on the line and you grow anxious. “Jimin where is he?”

“He was on his way to see you and talk things out. He should’ve been there long by now, he left two hours ago.”

“Tell Taehyung to track his phone and I’ll be at the house as soon as possible.” Scrambling you run upstairs to find your car keys, mind in such a frenzy you don’t even see them on the dining table until Yoongi has them held in front of your face.

“Looking for these?” He asks and you sigh in relief.

“Yes thank you, I really need to go. Thank you for letting me stay for the past two nights and I’ll see you around.”

“Keep your phone on you.” Yoongi says suddenly and you turn with a furrowed brow. “Just so I can call you later and make sure you’re okay.” He says hurriedly and you just nod before running out the door and to your car.

When you arrive back you immediately head to the training room, grabbing a plethora of knives and even two handguns, already knowing just who you’re dealing with. You’re in the midst of packing away ammunition when your phone rings from an unknown caller. “Hello?” You ask in a bored tone, already knowing who’s on the other line.

“Well if it isn’t Blossom herself. I’ve got to say it took us a while to find your number in the system, your boy Taehyung there is quite the hacker.” The voice says and you still when you hear Taehyung’s name dropped.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Ahh so you noticed your little boyfriend is missing. Although is he really your boyfriend after you’ve been out with Min Yoongi?” You’ve been reckless. MKJ has been following you and you’ve been too caught up in your own issues to notice, once again putting those you love at risk.

“Min Yoongi means nothing to me. He’s just a supplier.” The least you can do is try and spare him when all he’s shown you is kindness.

“Is that why you went out for sushi with him last night? Perhaps you’re not as skilled as everyone says you are since you were unable to even notice you were being tracked. Disappointing to say the least, I thought I’d have a real fight.”

“Are you forgetting that we killed Hoseok?” You ask and you know you’ve struck a nerve when the man on the phone sucks in a sharp breath.

“How could I forget? Did you also forget that our business is an eye for an eye? With that in mind I should just kill your boy right here and you can find his dead body. Would you like that instead?” He says angrily and it takes everything in you to not panic.

“You would’ve killed him already if you wanted to. So just tell me what you’re looking for.”

“Well sweetheart since you asked so nicely I’m looking to meet you. I want to watch as the life drains from your eyes the same way you watched my best friend die. And after you die I’ll kill your two little boyfriends and then everyone else in your gang.” You can hear the smile in his voice and your heart begins racing. Is everyone in MKJ insane?

“Are you gonna send me the address like a good boy or are you gonna make me search for you?” You ask and chuckle at his frustrated groan.

“I was going to make you work for it but since you’re being a little bitch I’ll send you the address so I can kill you faster. And remember it’s just you and me sweetheart. If I see anyone else on the cameras your boy is dead.”

“See you then.” You say before hanging up the phone and grabbing a bag to pack more weapons in. You’re preparing for the bloodbath you expect this to be. When you finally are pleased with the amount of weaponry on you, you head towards Taehyung’s monitoring room. “Give me the names of the remaining heads of MKJ.” You say and Taehyung only scoffs. “Taehyung I’m not fucking around right now. Give me the names so I know who I’m dealing with when I go save Jungkook’s ass.”

Your answer seems to please Taehyung who furiously pounds on his keyboard before a picture of a dimpled man pops up on the screen. “Kim Namjoon, head of accounts and strategy. Founding member and his weapon of choice is a glock. I can’t get a name or picture for their intel department though.”

“Figured. All men take the easy way out and use a gun, I swear.” You say with a roll of your eyes and Taehyung only smiles at you before taking you into his arms for a tight hug. “Tae!”

“Thank you. For saving him I mean because we both know you’re gonna beat this Namjoon guy’s ass. Also I know you still love Jungkook because you’re going to save him so I’m sorry for my messages earlier but I’m still mad at you for hurting him. Now go kick some ass and bring the both of you back so I can tell you how much of an idiot you both are.” Taehyung says and you can only squeeze him a little harder.

“Thanks Tae.”

Jimin stands at the front door, equipped with his own weapons strapped to his chest like a soldier preparing for war. When he spots you he nods and goes to open the door but you put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “It’s just me Jiminie. He’ll kill Jungkook if he sees any backup but I appreciate you willing to stand by me.”

“You know he’ll have backup. You’ll be lucky if they don’t shoot on sight.”

“I know and that’s even more reason for you not to come. The boys need someone to look after them, especially Taehyung.”

“I can’t let you go alone.”

“As your boss I’m ordering you to stay and watch the house. Besides have some faith in me Jimin. I’m not just a pretty face you know?” You laugh weakly and Jimin only frowns at you. You both know the chances of you making it out are slim but you’re going to fight like hell to make it out of there.

“I love you. You’re the best sister I never had.” Jimin says and you pull him in for a tight hug.

“I love you too. I’m thankful that I’ve had you beside me for my entire life.” It feels morbid to say your goodbyes like you’re about to die but you know you’ll regret it if you don’t. You just hope this goodbye won’t be real. With a final squeeze you release Jimin before walking out the door.

“Typical.” You scoff as you pull up to an old warehouse. They truly couldn’t have been more unoriginal. The gravel crunches beneath your feet as you walk nonchalantly towards the old building, casually looking around while pretending you’re not scoping for any snipers. Surprisingly between the tree-line and along the roof you can’t see the figures of people or the glint of any guns. Perhaps Kim Namjoon really did want to kill you alone. Yet something still feels off, almost like you’re being watched. Turning around you scan the trees again only to find nothing and your body stiffens. Something is wrong, it feels too easy.

Lo and behold when you turn around a gun is pointed directly in your face and your eyes widen. The man in front of you looks at you quizzically, cocking his head to the side as he examines you. “Are you really Blossom?” He asks and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles up in your throat.

“You really think I’d send someone in my place?” You ask with raised brows and the man only frowns.

“You don’t look like the monster you’re made out to be. Where’s the girl that killed a whole family just because they looked at her wrong?”

“That’s me. And I didn’t kill them because they looked at me wrong, I killed them because they were terrorizing my people.”

“Even the children?” Truthfully you had spared the children, sending them to a boarding school far away before you killed their parents and writing them letters in place of their parents so that way they didn’t have to grow up being orphaned but no one really needs to know about that. It’s not the children’s fault that they had evil parents. You only smile at Namjoon in response and take joy in the way that his eyes widen in shock ever so slightly. It seems that he’s begun to realize he’s got more than he bargained for. “You seem too inexperienced. You should never turn your back to an enemy.”

“Did I turn my back to you or did I draw you out of hiding?” You ask and again he furrows his brows. He hadn’t thought of that. “So show me where Jungkook is. Come on Kim Namjoon, where’s the emotional torture? Where’s the beatings and gang mentality as I get ambushed? For the head of strategy you didn’t really seem to think things through.” You say and in his moment of confusion, you dismantle the gun from him and slice along his chest. He groans beneath you and you roll your eyes, pushing your foot harder against his chest with the gun pointed at him. “Cmon Joonie you’re making it too easy. You’ve clearly never spent much time in the field have you?” You tsk, before removing your foot so Namjoon can stand up. He looks at you with big eyes and you almost feel pity. The poor guy was so overtaken by grief he sentenced himself to death. Unfortunately for him your loyalty runs too deep and you must eliminate any threat to your family. Flicking the gun to gesture at the warehouse you make Namjoon lead the way to Jungkook, memorizing the path through the boxes for when you leave. Clearly this is going to be a much easier job than you thought.

Yet the air catches in your throat when you round the corner and see Jungkook bruised and bloody, his face painted by blues and purples, splashes of blood dotting his cheeks as the gag around his mouth is stained with blood. His arms and legs are tied to the chair he’s perched on and yet when he lifts his head to the sound of footsteps he begins thrashing wildly with wide eyes when he sees you. Turning off your emotions you fall back into the Blossom role, knowing that his thrashing indicates this is a trap. Searching through the top of the stacked boxes you look for shadows of figures and yet you find none. You turn yet again to Jungkook to search for answers only to see him get knocked out by the butt of a gun you didn’t know Namjoon was hiding. You underestimated him as well.

“Blossom, blossom, blossom. As unexperienced as I may be in the field you really didn’t think I’d only bring one weapon did you? It’s no wonder your gang has gone to shit ever since your dad died, it’s clear that you’re incompetent as well as incapable of being a good leader.” He laughs, raising the gun to point at you. You raise your own and he just smiles again before setting his weapon down. “You know what, how about we do this the old fashion way? I heard guns weren’t your specialty anyways.” Shrugging off his coat you spot the long dagger tucked into his waistband. “Cmon sweetheart, show me just how dangerous you are.”

“Gladly.” You say before tucking the gun into your bag. One thing Kim Namjoon seems to forget is that you should never leave your weapon unattended in case the aggressor can grab it for themselves. Your smile is wicked, as sharp and pointed as the two blades that sit in your hands. Rolling your shoulders you relax as you left yourself slip into an alternative headspace, one where your humanity doesn’t exist. Kill or be killed as they say.

Namjoon lunges first, swinging his arm out widely, allowing you to dip under him and slice into his side. He yelps at the sting of the cut, holding onto his side as you stand across from him untouched. Poking his tongue into his cheek he charges again and you let him get close enough that you cut along his arm, causing him to instantly pull the knife back into him. He was close enough for the wound to be deeper and much more damaging than your previous surface cuts. “You bitch!” Namjoon yells angrily before charging at you in a fit of rage. Unfortunately, for however smart Kim Namjoon may be he is not a fast learner, had he been he would’ve realized he was too flamboyant in his attacks and left many areas of his body unprotected. Lodging a knife into his stomach you take the cut to the back of your shoulder as the other plants itself into his chest and only then does he slump over and flop onto the ground. With a sigh you walk over to his gun and turn back to him, crouching down so you can look at him in the eyes as the gun presses against his head. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and your stomach churns when you realize the both of you know it’ll be one of his lasts.

“You gave a valiant effort Kim Namjoon. You can be proud that you tried.” It’s the only pity and condolence you offer before you stand up and shoot him square between the eyes. Grabbing the knives you wipe the blood off on his shirt before placing them back in their holders and the gun in your waistband. Turning to Jungkook your eyes once again water at seeing his pretty face damaged and gently take the gag out of his mouth. You hold back a sniffle before brushing the hair out of his eyes and beginning to untie his hands. You’ve only begun to loosen the knots before the hair on the back of your neck stands up and you turn slowly only to come face to face with someone you’d never thought you’d see again.

“Jeon.” You say gruffly as Jungkook’s older brother stands before you. He’s much more ragged than when you last saw him, the night before Jungkook joined your gang a few years ago. He looks more tired than he did then too, the circles and bags heavy around his eyes.

“Blossom.” He addresses, walking forward with the gun and you back a few feet away knowing that Jungkook is safe for now. “How lovely it is to see you again.”

“What’re you doing here?” You ask.

“I think we both know the answer to that question.” He smiles before looking down at Namjoon’s body. “I see you took out Namjoon for me. Don’t you just love when people do the dirty work for you? Just like what my brother does for you.”

“Jungkook and I work together.” You say and he only rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure. But thanks to you all the heads of MKJ are dead and I get to be the new leader. Well almost all of them, but give it-“ He checks his watch and as you go to grab your knife the safety clicks. “five hours and he should be dead as well. I can thank you for that as well since you outed his location. Truly, tell me how it feels to bring everyone you care for death.”

“I- I don’t understand.” Who is he talking about?

“Speaking of which you almost got my baby brother killed that day with Hoseok. How is it that you’re willing to put the man you supposedly love in danger? And how could my baby brother supposedly love you when he knows what a monster you are? How can he not blame you for him having anything to do with your gang?”

“Maybe because it wasn’t my fault. It was your debt that he paid. You were the one who let him do it for you. Do you even care that he did it so you could have a better life? Now all of his sacrifice was for nothing; you’re just doing the same shit for someone else.” You say and he huffs angrily.

“I did this for him! I can protect him there unlike you.”

“He was only in danger because of you!” You scream in frustration. He’s just as dense as you remember.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re not good enough for my brother and because he can’t realize that for himself I’ll just make the decision easier for him. Got any last words?”

You swallow harshly but lower your head anyways and accept your fate. If you make one move he’ll kill you anyways. As long as Jungkook is okay you’re fine with dying. It only makes sense for you to be taken this way when you’ve done it to so many people before you. When you just did it to Namjoon who lays limply beside you. “I love you Jungkook.” You say, glancing towards him one last time to see him no longer in the chair. You glance up in confusion only to watch Jungkook tackle his brother to the ground as the gun flies out of his hand.

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Jungkook yells in his brother’s face, pinning the older man to the ground. “Don’t you fucking touch her.” He says again sternly and in this moment you’ve never been more afraid of Jungkook than you are now. His body shakes with rage and his brother’s eyes are wide as fear surely strikes him too.

“Jung-Jungkook I’m doing this for your own good. She made you into a murderer. She let you join her gang when you were so young, so innocent. She took away your chance at living a good life. ” His brother says the word with such disgust that you can only flinch at such a tone being directed at Jungkook. Your sweet Jungkook who viewed his brother with such pride and love. Your heart hurts for Jungkook to finally see his brother for who he is, the brother that you saw the night before Jungkook joined your gang.

“The only thing she ever did was love me and now I realize that I gave up a life with her for you. For my selfish brother who let my young, innocent self join a gang in his place because he knew I’d take the fall for him. Who then joined another gang in an attempt to murder the woman I love just because she reminds you of what you did. Of the sacrifice I made for you that you made meaningless. So if I have to choose between the two of you, I choose her.” He turns to you then, eyes glossy as he holds a hand out for the gun between your waistband.

“Jungkook-“ You start, tears pooling in your own eyes as you realize what’s about to happen. “You don’t need to do this-“ You say and Jungkook smiles sadly at you.

“It’s the only way I can protect you. I have to do it.” Handing over the gun Jungkook’s hand shakes as he presses it to the head of his own brother. He takes in a deep breath before stilling his hand and looking at his brother for the last time. “Despite everything I still love you.” Jungkook whispers and just as he’s about to pull the trigger a bullet already finds itself in his brother’s head. You both glance up to find Yoongi standing there, his hand shaking as a gun lies in it.

“Yoongi!” You scramble to stand up, questions swirling in your mind so quickly that you can’t even speak as your thoughts cut over one another. “How-how did you find me?” You finally ask and Yoongi just gives you a sad smile.

“You kept your phone on you.” He says before turning to disappear behind the boxes. Jungkook’s sobs keep you from chasing after Yoongi as you run over to him, catching him in your arms as he falls back from the onslaught of tears. His body shakes and you climb over him to pull him into your chest, his strong arms coming to wrap around your waist and his head nuzzled into your neck as you quietly shush him.

Hours later the two of you finally manage to pick yourselves off the floor of the warehouse and drive home. Jimin and Taehyung rush towards you when you finally open the door, pulling you both into their arms with fervor. “I thought you’d be dead.” Taehyung sobs and you flick the back of his head.

“I told you I’d bring him back safe.” You say and Jungkook only begins to sob again as he must be thinking about what just happened again. The boys immediately ditch you in favor of one of their best friends and despite the situation you can’t help but smile at the soft scene before you, at the family you always dreamt of having.

With Jungkook finally settled and Taehyung clinging to him like a parasite, you and Jimin head into the kitchen to make some snacks and run over what just happened. “The one odd thing is-“ you start while mixing the cookie dough. “he talked about the third head of MKJ dying tonight. And I’d somehow outed his location? I just can’t figure out who it would be, I don’t really talk to anyone outside of you guys.”

“What if it was that flower guy?” Jimin jokes and you pause, it all suddenly making sense. He knew who you were when you had first met and knew everything about you because he monitored you for MKJ. It matches his cover job in computer information. It explains the 10k watch and why he wanted a slow pace job. It explains why he suddenly moved in 6 months, conveniently the same time as when Jungkook’s brother became the head of intel. Interlude was the password to the MKJ files which is the same word tattooed on Yoongi’s wrist. He spoke like he knew your pain when you had to hide because people were shooting at you. It explains why he panicked when he slipped and called you Blossom. MKJ. Min, Kim, Jung. The only thing that doesn’t make sense is why he wanted a relationship with you. Was it all a ploy to separate you and Jungkook? But then why did he save Jungkook from having to kill his own brother?

As if he knew you were thinking of him Yoongi messages you to come outside and immediately you panic. Hurriedly you grab the gun lying on your bed and head out the front door only to find Yoongi standing there anxiously, covered in ash. “Yoongi?” Immediately you drop the gun and check him for injuries, only finding a few minor burns. “Come inside, we need to treat these.” You say with a gentle pull on his wrist.

“I can’t I don’t have time. They’ve burned down my shop and I barely escaped.”

“Who did? MKJ?” You ask and then it clicks. Jungkook’s brother mentioned killing the final head, now known to be Yoongi, in his last moments.

“Yes, they’ve discovered me and I don’t have much time before I have to leave again. But I couldn’t leave without asking you to come with me.” Taking your hands into his he soothes over your knuckles with his thumbs while looking up at you hopefully. “Come with me and we can settle down somewhere new and I’ll give you that white picket fence we talked about. We can get the house with the grand piano and can have a big yard in the backyard and tend to a garden. I have enough money that we can just stay in the house and relax every day, there’s no need to put ourselves in danger by going out and working. We can have the normal life that we’ve always dreamt of. So come with me and I’ll make it come true just for you. I’d do anything for you.”

“Like kill Jungkook’s brother?” You ask, unable to help the question from falling off your lips.

“Yes like killing his brother. I knew he’d hate himself for killing him or you for killing him so I decided he could just hate me. Another person can’t hurt.” He laughs weakly. “I know we haven’t been together for long but-“

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was?” You ask.

“If I told you I knew would you have even talked to me after? I meant what I said when I said you were a good person despite the circumstances. And I know it’s soon but I can see myself having a life with you and I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted. I’m willing to give you everything I just need you to come with me. Please come with me, I don’t want to go through this alone.” His eyes shine with hope and yours shine with tears as you realize that this man in front of you is willing to give you everything you’ve dreamed of but you don’t want it. You don’t want it because it’s not with Jungkook and despite the ups and downs you’ve had with Jungkook there’s no one else you’d rather be with. You don’t want the white picket fence if it’s not with him. Sniffling you make eye contact with Yoongi and you can see the hope wither as he no doubt can see the rejection in your own.

“I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“But why?” Yoongi pleads, gripping your hands tighter as he senses you’re about to pull away.

“I don’t want it if it’s not with him. I’m sorry.” Yoongi’s face falls and silently he slips his hands from your own to have them limply hang at his sides. It hurts to see him so sad and broken but after everything he’s done for you Yoongi deserves the truth. “I can offer you protection though. You don’t have to go.”

“But I do. I won’t be able to just sit to the side and watch you love him. Besides I promised myself when I left MKJ that I wouldn’t return back to this life and I already broke that promise once for you.” You can only nod, eyes watering as you hold them back through a sniffle. Despite not knowing each other for long it hurts to see him go; you’d grown rather fond of the feisty flower boy.

“I understand. Call me if you need anything.” He only nods, coming closer for a second to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Take care Blossom. Maybe in another life we can be together.” He murmurs before turning away and disappearing into the night.

Six months later and things are finally slipping into place. MKJ has imploded, the members turning against each other in aim to be the new head but the only thing they’ve accomplished is killing the entire gang off. With your rival out of the way you’ve had time to work things out, like your relationship with Jungkook. You’ve waited patiently by his side through his grief, holding his hand every time he breaks down as he remembers the final moments with his brother. You’re never more thankful for Yoongi than you are at these times, knowing that had he not shot the gun that Jungkook wouldn’t be able to survive the self-hatred. You still itch to check up on Yoongi but in order to protect him you refrain. He deserves a clean break and that means that you can’t be in his life, even as a friend. It hurts but the least you can do is let him move on. During this time you’ve also worked on yourself and all your past scars, pulling away at the old bandaids thrown haphazardly over your wounds to actually sew them back together. It’s hard and you must cry nearly every night but at this moment in time you can say that you’re finally okay with the person you are. That you deserve to be loved and that what matters is who you are today. Because as a great friend once said: our past does not define us, the only thing that does is who we are today.

“Go on a date with me? A real one where I call you my girlfriend and hold your hand and do all that mushy shit.” Jungkook says, cheeks dusted a soft pink as he leans against your door frame with a bundle of yellow roses in his hand.

“Ahh ever the romantic.” You tease to distract him from the way that your breath catches in your throat. His hair is parted neatly in the middle, framing his strong cheeks as it slightly curls around the edges. His large chest is hidden underneath a slim fitting black button up, the silk material shining softly under your bedroom lights. His thick thighs are covered by fitted black trousers and you have to stop yourself from swallowing loudly. He looks so handsome that you can barely figure out what to do with yourself as he fiddles under your stare.

“Is that a yes?” He asks shyly and you can’t help the small laugh that tumbles out. He’s so intimidating in normal situations but here he’s like a boy asking out their first crush. He’s adorable and all yours. You’ve never felt so lucky.

“It’s a yes Kookie. Let me get changed and we’ll go out okay?” He only nods, gently setting the flowers down on your bed.

“So where are we going?” You ask as you change into a black dress tucked away in your closet for special occasions. You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on you but pay it no mind as you move across the room to put on the necklace he bought you. Jungkook moves to stand behind you, humming thoughtfully as he latches the necklace around your neck.

“It’s a surprise.” He says, pressing a kiss to your shoulder softly in finality. “Now cmon, my pretty girl deserves to finally be shown off.” Taking your hand in his, he leads you through the house and you giggle at his haste. You pass by Jimin and Taehyung who smile widely at the two of you, giving you a thumbs up as you walk by.

You’re shocked to say the least when you pull up at the familiar location, a small restaurant taking place of Yoongi’s old shop. The floral scent has been replaced by that of baked bread and grilled meat as the two of you stand in front of it. Your eyes turn glassy for a minute as you stare up at what used to be your secret sanctuary. “I saw their opening night was tonight and thought you might want to come. I know this place meant a lot to you and I wanted you to know it turned into something beautiful.”

Beautiful it was with its artisan exterior, the loft upstairs turned into a patio where you can eat under the stars. With a gentle tug, Jungkook leads you inside giving the hostess your name before she leads you up the stairs and to the patio. If you close your eyes you can still remember what Yoongi’s small apartment looked like and you smile at the memory. Opening your eyes everything is cast in a warm golden glow from the lights strung above and through the thin awning you can see the stars.

“This is beautiful Kookie.” You smile and Jungkook smiles widely at you, reaching over to take your hand in his own.

“I’m glad you like it. I was worried it might make you upset and that I ruined our first date.”

“You did a great job baby.” You say softly, leaning over the table to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you.” You tell Jungkook and he brings your conjoined hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“I love you too. Forever and always.” The moment is soft, his eyes turned honey as he gazes at you warmly, his love and adoration encasing you entirely. You’ve never felt more at home then in this moment and you know you made the right decision all those months ago.

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