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#sorry its taken so long to get this out. im still quite sick but i promised you guys itd be out days ago so im trying to get it done
weirdgirlshowdown · 1 year
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i'm writing the propaganda paragraphs for weirdgirl finals and i don't watch mp100 so can yall please give me some of tome kurata's weirdgirl qualifiers to put down? keep em in the tags and replies of this post if you would, so it's easier for me to go through [and if you're seeing this post after friday 3/31 don't bother bc the poll will already be up]
note: things not personally done by her don't count [I.E. her friend eating bugs, i kept seeing that a lot in the tags. if she didn't do it it doesn't qualify]
ok thanks guys
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softshrimpy · 6 months
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How To Woo A Hot Principal
Step 17: Oh Gods, She's Wearing Pants (NSFW)
Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.
But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?
I'm backkkk! Sorry this update took so long, I started a new job a few weeks ago and it has been a hugeee adjustment. But have some smut from this lil shrimp 🦐✨
Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar
(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)
Chapter 16
Cross Posted on AO3 Here
HWTAHP Masterlist
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Life was actually looking up. You had been seeing Dr. Kinbott every other week to help work through the plethora of issues you had. On top of that Vlad was still getting you moving every day (you low-key hated him for it). He had also taken it upon himself to teach you everything he knew of vampire history. Sometimes you weren’t sure whether he was embellishing some of the stories or if vampire history was that insane.
Sometimes Yoko would tag along, more often than not to help him teach you how to use some of your vampire powers. You snorted the first time Vlad referred to them as that and then nearly died when he moved from one end of the room to right in front of you in the blink of an eye to glare down at you.
The one ‘vampire power’ you had the most control over was your sudden acquisition of fuckin epic strength. And by most control you mean you had to learn super quickly how not to rip every door you opened off its hinges.
Your other abilities weren’t anywhere near refined. Yoko had been trying to teach you how to use your enhanced speed which you had managed once before ending up smashing into a wall. You were fine, the wall however did suffer. (yet another wall that is a victim of your new powers. Rip.)
Since you didn’t know who your family was or where you came from both Vlad and Yoko had explained that you may have other abilities if you came from what they called a Legacy family. Apparently, they can have some super sick extra powers like hypnosis or transformation and the like. You were sure you were just a regular vampire, the odds of you having any extra powers were so slim you didn’t need to worry.
On top of that things between you and Larissa were better than ever. You spent every evening together, often ending with you staying the night in her quarters. And fucking hell was waking up to her almost every morning a gift from the gods.
On the nights when you’d stay with her, you’d help her with her evening routine, always ecstatic she let you help her. You’d help remove the pins from her hair, brushing it out for her as she removes her makeup. You always press kisses into her hair afterwards, your heart skipping a beat and the small soft smile on her face at your actions.
You’d both then change into pyjamas, hers always sinfully attractive on her. Then you spend the evening having dinner and cuddling on her couch. Sometimes she’d tell your stories of her day or about her past. you loved listening to her speak, you could quite literally do it for hours.
This morning you were lucky enough to wake up in her arms once again. You took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of her and feeling a smile creep across your face. You bury your head into her neck, sighing happily. You feel her stir a few moments later, her arm tightening around your waist. She lets out her own content sigh before pressing a kiss to your head.
“Mmm…good morning my darling,” she hums, her voice still raspy from sleep.
“Good morning pretty lady,” you hum back, leaning up to kiss her chastely.
The two of you stay like that for a little while, Larissa laying on her back with her eyes closed, one arm wrapped around your waist. You grinning up at her, bringing your hand up to trace the lines of her face. These moments with her, where the two of you are simply existing together, are your favourite moments in the world.
Eventually, though Larissa has to get up and get dressed, she does have a school to run after all. You love watching her get ready for the day. She always wears such gorgeous outfits, always looks so elegant and-
Oh, holy fuck she’s wearing pants today.
She so rarely wears pants, usually opting for skirts or dresses. So when she slips on a pair of form-hugging pants with a chunky belt and white sweater you almost choke on air and feel your face heat up. She bends over to pick up a pair of heels and you absolutely stare shamelessly at her ass.
You must have let out some noise, probably a rather gay sound with the way Larissa turns and looks at you. She grins smugly as she toes on her heels. She pulls on a blazer to complete the look before leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek.
“I’ll see you later darling,” she all but purrs and you have to resist every urge to pull her into the bed and ravish her right then and there.
“I-you- have a good day m’love,” you manage, ogling her as she all but saunters away.
———
You spend the rest of the day catching glimpses of the white-haired beauty every hour or so. She seems to be moving around campus far more than usual. Not that you’re complaining. When she does come around, nine times out of ten you get so distracted you walk into or drop something.
On top of that, sometimes when she appeared she would shoot you these looks. You couldn’t explain it but you swear the woman was trying to kill you. Gods, you wanted to climb her like a tree.
So after a lunch filled with you all but drooling over her and a couple of hours afterwards daydreaming about her and her stupid sexy legs and hands and face…where were you again? You finally decided to say fuck it and made your way to her office in record time. Vlad and his lessons could wait, you had a far more important task to do.
You entered her office quietly, not wanting to disturb her if she was in a meeting. The sight that greeted you made you actually choke on air. There she was sitting at her desk as usual. But she had discarded her blazer on the back of her chair and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. She was typing furiously on her laptop, as usual, frowning at the screen from behind her glasses.
You locked the door behind you before striding purposefully over to her desk. By the time she glanced up at you, you were already rounding her desk to get to her.
“Darling? Is everything alri-oh!” She yelps as you pull her up from her chair into your arms.
You press a kiss to her very gorgeous lips and reach around her to shut her laptop and move it aside. You lift her up onto her desk, not once removing your mouth from hers. She lets out the cutest noise at that, hands moving to clutch your shoulders before she tangles them in your hair, tugging on it slightly. You groan into her mouth, teeth scraping against her lip. The room feels impossibly hot and she is wearing far too many clothes. As much as you like her pants they need to come off. Now.
Your hands make their way down her body, slipping under her sweater to caress the skin of her stomach. You preen at the hum she lets out, your hands becoming more daring. Your fingers slip under her bra, trailing gently over the underside of her breasts. She gasps, her mouth disconnecting from yours when your thumbs brush over her nipples.
You press kisses to her neck as you do your best to unclasp her bra. It does take a fair bit of fumbling and a few curses muttered to get there. Larissa lets out a breathy chuckle as she scratches the back of your neck. When you finally manage to get rid of the offending item you make quick work of removing it along with her sweater.
You press your lips to her collarbone, nipping at the soft skin just above her breasts. Her grip on your hair tightens, her hands attempting to move your attention where she wants it. Instead of giving her what she wants you graze your teeth along to underside of her breast, grinning at the way her breath stutters.
You decide your desire to tease her is not as strong as your need to please her and take one of her nipples into your mouth, lathing your tongue over it. The strangled moan she lets out makes your heart skip a beat. You nip at the pert bud, your other hand groping at her free breast. She lets out the most sinful sounds, your whole body heating more and more with each one.
Your hands travel down to the waistband of her pants, fingers quickly undoing the button and unzipping the zipper. You pull them and her panties down her legs after she lifts herself off the desk for a moment. She starts tugging on the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to take it off. You pull back from kissing her chest and take her hands in yours, moving them back to sit on the desk.
“Nu-uh honey, tonight I’m in charge,” you hum, delighting in the way her whole face turns red.
“So you just keep those lovely hands of yours right here. Can you do that for me, my love?”
“I- yes. Yes,” She breathes.
“Good girl,” you purr.
You get down on your knees, looping your arms under her thighs. You pepper kisses from her knee to the top of her thigh, stopping just before her soaking cunt. You repeat the action on the other side before gently pulling her thighs apart. You take in the sight of her glistening folds, feeling your mouth water at the sight.
“Is this all for me Rissa?”
“Mmm, only for you baby…” she moans.
You press one final kiss to the inside of her thigh before licking at her cunt. You lap at her slit, moaning at the taste of her. You’re certain this is what heaven is like, the way she tastes like the sweetest ambrosia.
You eat her out as though you were starved. You alternate between flicking your tongue over her clit and lapping at her entrance. Her moans and whimpers are like music to your ears, the sexiest symphony you’ve ever heard.
“Oh fuck, darling. Please-I’m-I’m so close-“ she pants.
You feel her thighs begin to tremble on either side of your head. She lets out a string of curses interspersed with cries of your name. You double your efforts, hands pinning her to her desk as she bucks and writhes.
“Fuck!” She cries.
Her back arches as she throws her head back, letting out a choked moan. Her whole body stiffens, thighs clamping shut around your head. You keep licking and sucking at her clit, only stopping when she gently pushes you away. You press one last kiss to her inner thigh before standing and wrapping your arms around her waist.
She truly looks ethereal in this moment. She’s leaning back on her hands, chest heaving and flushed. Her eyes are closed, breath coming out of her lips in pants. She’s glowing in the low light of her office. Her hair is slightly mussed, falling out of her elegant hairstyle in places.
You cup her cheek, heart-melting when she nuzzles into your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. You almost want to cry, luckily you don’t. You lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead, hearing her hum happily in response. You bury your face in her neck, enjoying having her in your arms.
“Darling,” she sighs happily, “not to sound ungrateful because that was truly wonderful, but what on earth brought this on?”
“Pants.” You mumble into her neck.
“Pardon?”
You lean back, idly tracing shapes into her collarbone. “You were uhm, you wore pants today. You don’t often you know wear ‘em. And you just. I mean you have such gorgeous legs and the most earth-shatteringly sexy ass I’ve ever seen-“
She bursts into laughter at your admission, cheeks flushing.
“It’s true!! You have no idea how hot you are Rissa. Like…I don’t know how I get anything done when you’re here looking like you stepped out of heaven every single day.”
“But the pants do something for you hm?” She chuckles.
“Mmm, they just tipped the scales of my already incredibly inappropriate thoughts about you,” you grin.
“Well, darling,” she purrs, slipping off her desk and sauntering in the direction of her bedroom while pulling you along, “I hope you had no intentions of returning to your rooms tonight.”
You stare far too shamelessly at her ass as she drags you into her room. You were so focused on watching her that when she spins you around and all but pushes you onto the bed, you can only stare up at her, eyes wide and incredibly turned on.
She straddles your waist, smirking down at you in a way that makes heat pool between your thighs. She slips her hands beneath your shirt, leaning down to hover close enough to your face that you can feel her breath on your lips.
“Now then,” she hums, “let’s get you out of these clothes hm? The evenings only just started, and I’m nowhere near done with you.”
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outkast777 · 1 month
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Right as i logged out of my account sum random ass account posted a doc abt me and my friend cuz they r mad at me for being mean to them and “abelist” and we already had this convo and it went litteraly NO WHERE so they think i was trying to call them out for having a fp (i just stated shi also talks about something over and over again) (nothing directed negativly until shi took it negitively) yes i dont like thise people because after sometime i started to have different opinions about them as any human can. I did get very petty which was not the best idea and the whole misgenering thing was not on purpose and i told hir that so many times because i was typing fast and its one letter and i alwasy use autocorrect so its obviously gonna correct and the ss were taken within the MILISECOND after i sent them and after i edited them so i dont really know what 2 tell ya. I dont have any control over my other friends actions (there name was censored out) (bro my cd its so scratch its jsut stopped playing) i am so sick of them people acting like i and the one sending the things she says shes her own person with her own phone she can text on the whole “NPD” thing was alot of heat of the moment shit that started cuz some one got mad at me for answering when someone said “if you have somthing to say about me say it to my face” and i did cuz tf and then its escalated into things that i definitely should have not said and i do take credit for that and im sorry if any of those were hurt by it. Dragging on this long ass paragraph onto tumblr is the most tiring thing jsut as i thought everyone was done and things were being talked about but take it or leave it i am done
Ive been done for long before this so no i will not be comeing back to this account again outkast is over and has been over no i do not like creepypasta anymore i just want to clarify non of whats above is why i just dont like creepypasta quits. Lawd ive realized over the past month that ss stuff and thrn sending it to tumblr is a wack and bad way of getting people to understand cuz they were simply not there so i will be taking off all the drama included stuff off my page for people who want to still come here for my art. “Outkast is a bad person who hate people specificly with personality disorders and specificly cluster b disorders” is such an annyoing claim and is a big one 2 because i dont?? Just becuase you have it and we havnt been on great terms dosent mean i hate you cuz of that i could litteraly care less and ive told them that multiple times but ik they dont care atp. Soooooo bye i dont know much more to say. Making me type out this long ass paragrah ohh em ge
Also the person taking about getting mad at us for talking about tomb all the time ALSO talkes about tomb all the time but gets mad at us for doing it ehat do you want from me bru
Im very bad at spelling
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glacialltz · 2 years
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petals on the wind genshin : ‘cecilia - a beautiful flower with a name that suits its appearance. it only grows where harsh winds blow, and is just as intangible as the true heart of an unbound soul.’
summary: you're in love. does venti love you back, or does he just feel bad? does he just not want to see someone else die for him? warnings: hanahaki, angst, implied death, blood mention, venti might be a bit ooc, NOT A HAPPY ENDING, not proofread word count: 1.3k notes: i havent written in so long ahhh im so sorry if this is a little wonk, ive had the ideas for months and just wanted to finally get it down. im trying to get back into writing more again :'(
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cecilias are like the heart of mondstadt, earthbound stars blessing the land of freedom like a promise from celestia. they are beautiful indeed, bowing and dancing when the wind blows, merry and lighter than air. they reminded you of the wayward bard who flitted through the city as he pleased, drinking and singing without a care. he was true beauty to you. his presence like a breath of fresh air, his carefree nature a stark reminder of what life could be, he was wonderful and exhilarating. the cecilias on his hat were always fresh and full, as if he was the embodiment of spring itself. 
the beauty didn’t fade even as the burning began. it wrapped up your throat like vines, choking you from the inside-out. the first night, it woke you from your slumber. the burning was so intense, searing deep into your skin, ripping through your chest like you had swallowed a lit match. you couldn’t scream, couldn’t cry, subject only to the scorching tear inside your chest. by the time morning finally came, it was gone. it was okay. the petals hadn’t begun yet.
as the days passed, your interest in the bard never faded. his presence was like a salve to your wounds. when he sung and played his harp, you felt like everything might be okay in the end. the first time you sang along with him, remembering the words of one of his more common songs, he smiled at you. you couldn’t help but smile back. and it was beautiful.
the next morning, you woke up with a white petal on your tongue. 
after a little while, the burning stopped feeling as potent. it was like it mellowed out, instead leaving this slightly choking feeling in your throat, like something had taken root inside and was disturbed every time you coughed. you found yourself coughing a lot more these days, always feeling there was something lurking inside your lungs that you couldn’t quite get out. it was uncomfortable, to say the least, but not painful. it didn’t intrude on your daily life, you could still enjoy the life mondstadt had to offer you, but it was unsettling. 
thankfully, there seemed to be one silver lining in your unexplainable predicament. the bard finally seemed to notice you. something about him seemed different from how it once was. when he approached you, there seemed to be something knowing and sad swirling like a storm in those gorgeous teal eyes of his. he was gentle with you, so gentle. he would greet you kindly in the streets, something you once could have never dreamed of actually happening. upon occasion he would invite you to listen to a new song. he always brought you flowers when he invited you, a humble little bouquet finding its way from his arms into yours. he once told you cecilias were his favorite flowers. there was never a single one in the bouquets he graced you.
your chest burned again. 
the closer you got to the bard - no, to venti - the more you learned about him. the more you loved his happy little giggle. the more you longed for his touch, the way his skin felt like the kiss of a spring breeze against yours. the more you felt like you were no longer strangers, no longer friends, but maybe something more. he understood you so well, listened to everything you had to say and all you had to bear. his face fell in a way you couldn’t quite understand when you opened up about this longstanding sickness of yours. in return, you felt you knew him better than most, at least in this city. the more you understood his tendencies, his beliefs, his everything. the more you understood there was something he was hiding from you. 
one day, petals began making their way up your throat. you began coughing them in massive chunks, petals spewing out and falling from your lips in a sad dance, devoid of any life as they slowly drifted to the ground. they were a shining white, they were beautiful. and they were oh-so familiar. 
the burning feeling swept through your body like a flood as the singular petals eventually morphed into full flowers. cecilias. they sprung from deep inside your chest, crawling up your lungs desperately, choking you, cracking you in half. some days were okay, others were brutal. it was getting harder and harder to breathe. your body, once so full of life, joy, and color, was beginning to rot and wither away. when had spring abandoned you?
your body was colder now, but it didn’t matter. venti would walk slower to keep pace with you, would drape jackets and blankets over your shoulders, them ever growing frailer. even as living grew more and more of a chore, you never stopped feeling his care. was it love? did he love you too? the thought, the hope, alone was enough to spark a slight flame of warmth inside you. it was always followed by the sharp burn inside your lungs. 
the day he invited you to starsnatch cliff was the day you made up your mind. you were gonna tell him. he invited you to sit next to him, feet dangling over the edge, the two of you watching the sunset together. you were gonna confess. he turned to you before you had a chance, soft, small hands taking yours into them carefully, gently. his eyes met yours and you were shocked by the amount of tears slipping free from them. they searched yours intently for something, anything, as tears trickled down the entirety of his face, the sunlight catching in them and reflecting in a way that would be beautiful if not for the gravity of how truly sad he looked. 
his breathes were choked and shortened like yours, but there were no petals falling from his lips. only tears fell from the face you loved so. his soft thumbs stroked against the back of your hands, as light and fleeting as the wnid. you wanted more, you wanted a gust, but as his eyes broke contact with yours, you knew you wouldn’t be getting it. the wind seemed to stop blowing, the world around you eerily still, his voice wavering as he whispered.
“i’m sorry.”
for a moment, you couldn’t feel the flowers in your throat. you couldn’t feel anything. i’m sorry. i can’t love you. it all made sense now. did he pity you? was that it the whole time? nothing more than pity?
his head was still downturned as he whispered a second secret to you, low voice carried on the wind that secluded the two of you from everyone else. what he said seemed asinine, to say the least, but the earnest expression in his eyes and the faint blue glow of his braids convinced you that he was telling the truth. no wonder he felt so much like the wind. no wonder he felt like mondstadt, felt like your home.
no wonder he couldn’t love you.
venti gave you one last apology, a quiet, melodious sound, with a matching apologetic look. his hands squeezed yours once more - for the last time - before letting go completely as he stood. the sunset reflecting on his eyes couldn’t hide the sorrow and guilt behind them before he completely turned away from you and began to slowly walk down the cliff. you weren't the first, were you? you stayed seated.
the view of the city was gorgeous from here. the flowers around you were gorgeous, their petals dancing once more as the wind began to pick up again, welcoming you. mocking you. you doubled over for a moment, body wracked with coughs and pain, before several full flowers tumbled their way past your lips, landing in your open palm. this time, their petals were stained with blood. you could taste it on your lips. 
for the first time, looking at the flowers dancing merrily all around you - angels from the celestial heavens, graves of years past - you could understand why the land was covered in cecilias.
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flareondotcom · 10 hours
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im making tags for my active dungeons and dragons characters!!! just for blorbo posting, for funsies. but ive never posted them before, so this is a lil introductory 🫶 yknow, put faces to the names youre about to be seeing a lot more of lol
forgotten realms babes under the cut!!!
really sorry ahead of time for the low quality pictures, s'all i got boss!
THIS v
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is Heller Highwater!
race: kenku
class: barbarian
background: sailor
pronouns: he/they
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they have fucked up zygodactyl parrot hands and feet. no reason, just some flavor lmao. hes a jokester, a goober if you will, always keeping their spirits high. a scrappy lil fella. optimistic, confident, could befriend anyone in any tavern, and drink them under the table while he's at it. so loyal that its a flaw, not a trait.
as an egg, he was plundered by pirates from a small island apart of the moonshae isles. (the pirates are good guys, its a whole situation) he was raised by the crew on the open seas. they operated more like a nautical merry band of robin hoods than pirates. the captain was a retired harper, and had a strict code of conduct.
the story of how they became a barbarian though, is quite the tale. this is already going to be so long tho, so maybe some other time lol. after all is said and done, he left the sea behind for a life of adventuring on land, and comes out the other end with the same amount of jolly zest for life, but now with a deadly temper when the conditions are right.
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their war hammer, Feather Fall, is enchanted to be completely weightless, and still hits with all the deadly weight of any war hammer. he picked it up while escaping captivity. he had been held captive for so long that he was in poor health by the time of his escape. he was so atrophied, feather fall was the only thing in the armory (that was burning down) (again, its a whole situation) that he could lift to take with him as he fled.
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during one of the many "missions" heller went on with their crew, the tip of their beak was blown off after a risky maneuver to save their ship mates from certain death. the ship mates and involved crew felt so guilty for making heller risk his life that they pooled together enough silver to commission him an ornate prosthetic with a polished red jewel for his beak. its fashioned to the keratin of his beak by screws, and he can take it off when it suits him. their beak gets sore whenever a stormfront comes through.
THIS v
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is Masha Chokecherry!
race: forest gnome
class: archfey warlock
background: hermit
pronouns: they/them
masha is soft-spoken, monotone, and willing to go with damn near any flow that comes their way. absolutely nothing frightens them, but nothing seems to particularly excite them either. has a sick sense of humor. twisted fucking cyclepath. ultimately just wants a simple, quiet life but fate denies them that life at every possibel opportunity, and they are resigned to this. they're slow to trust, but once someone's earned it they'll have it always.
they grew up in a remote village deep in the wilderness. this village was ruled over and governed by three prominent, ancient families of gnomes: the chokecherrys, who are rangers, the brambleboots, who are druids, and the fiddleheads, who are clerics. if you hadn't guessed by now, the village worships all aspects of nature, and live and die by its balance. on the surface, it was all very peaceful, serene even. picturesque. but underneath its surface, behind closed doors, the politics of the three families are cutthroat, high stakes, and taken deadly seriously. each of the families collectively vie for the most divine clout from their respective pantheons of nature gods, and will do Anything to put themselves ahead of the other families. piously, of course.
(hit me up if you ever wanna know about the insane machinations of the three families, it gets crazy. fucked up gnome discourse the likes of which youve never seen. generations of soap opera gnome drama you would not even care about)
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^ here they are making pixar face
through a series of bullshit events, masha is violently exiled from their village for entirely petty familial dispute related reasons. (another quite-the-tale situation). it was during their years of isolation in the wilds that they had a chance encounter with an archfey in need of a warlock servant. and well! the rest is history. they have a positive, but ultimately complicated relationship with their patron. honestly i could go on and on about that, but this already feels like a lot of information lol.
ok now do a silly one.
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anyways! these are some of the most fleshed out characters in my entire arsenal, so theres a lot of stuff i left out! for the sake of brevity! thanks for looking at my silly lil sketches of my silly lil guys!!! this is going to be the first post in each of their respective tags, and i'll mostly be putting memes and aesthetic stuff in here, but i'll probably post more sketches and blurbs about them in the future!!!
and of course... feel free to ask about em if you ever feel like it, its so fun to talk about them <3
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lilysdaydreams · 3 years
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Praise Bingus (No fucking way)
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)
→ Words: 3.9k
→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.
→ (this isnt crack lol)
→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.
→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!
→ Buy me a coffee
Part two  →    
~~~
Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.
You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,
"No fucking way."
Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.
When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.
At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.
You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.
There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.
It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.
You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.
"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.
"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.
The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.
You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.
"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.
You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.
There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.
"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"
You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.
A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."
You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.
"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.
"No fucking way"
He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.
"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.
Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.
"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.
What the fuck were you supposed to do now.
"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.
Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.
"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.
"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.
"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"
Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.
Corpse was your soulmate.
The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.
You'd finally found him.
You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.
Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.
"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.
"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.
Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.
You giggled already knowing his trick.
"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"
"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."
Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.
"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."
You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.
"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.
"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."
Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."
Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."
"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.
"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.
"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"
"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."
Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.
"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.
"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.
"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.
"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."
Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.
Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.
"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.
Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.
"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"
"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."
"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.
"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.
"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."
Everyone laughed as he continued.
"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."
"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."
"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.
"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.
"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"
"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.
"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."
As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.
damn.
"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.
You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.
You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.
"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.
"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.
"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"
"I think its Corpse as well,"
Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"
"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."
You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.
"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.
"That was a great round, good work Y/N"
"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;
"You've made corpse sad."
"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."
"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"
"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"
"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."
"Um..."
Corpse POV
Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.
This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.
They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.
For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.
He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.
Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.
“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”
When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.
Corpse’s heart sank a little then.
'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.
'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'
Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.
For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.
He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.
When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.
What the fuck was his life.
Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.
“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.
Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.
Your POV
You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.
"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.
What the actual fuck.
Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.
The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?
'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.
You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.
Unlocked.
Locked.
Unlocked.
Locked.
"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.
‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’
A reply came in a minute,
‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’
You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.
‘He's my soulmate’
Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.
‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.
‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’
Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.
"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.
You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.
A minute passed.
And then five.
And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.
An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.
tbc.
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4dtk · 3 years
Text
have this absolute shameless drabble of sugar daddy gojo that i wrote in between requests. my fingers have never typed so fast im sorry this is literally self-indulgent at this point ARJGJFFJ.
disclaimer i honestly can't see anyone calling gojo daddy but just for this fic..... ill allow it..... and also bc sugar daddy gojo is just always residing in my mind. did you see how he transferred 10 mil to mei mei!!!!! i will never shut the fuck up about that scene. pls spoil me <3
warnings: praise, public sex, sugar daddy/sugar baby relations, breeding kink, pet names
NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI
sugar daddy!gojo pushes you up against the window of the store, visible for everyone to see you getting fucked senseless. in the gucci store four floors up, it could work both ways. fortunate to be so high up, although people would be getting a treat if they happened to look up.
“you know what you’re doing, baby?” he grunts, hips rocking into your soaked pussy as the staff outside try to ignore the lewd noises coming from behind the curtains.
it was supposed to be a simple trip: get a dress for gojo’s event in a few weeks and get out. with a tight arm wrapped around his, you followed him around like a starstruck puppy, the edges of your lips curled up knowing he’d treat you a million times over if you just asked for it.
gojo wasn’t any different, either. sure, he’s had sugar babies in the past, but not quite like you who’s so easy to please and spoil, knowing you could never say no even if your life depended on it. with your desperate listing for the requirement of monetary assistance, gojo couldn’t resist taking up the offer.
he just hadn’t expected you to be so… pliant. you had taken it like a good little bitch, too, moaning out for everyone to hear because you liked it like that.
“you’re taking my cock so well, princess,” gojo muttered out, lips nibbling on your ear as he continued to pound you. his grin that you feel against your skin plagues your mind, wanting nothing more than to see how he enjoys ruining you.
the catchy, upbeat pop song playing above you seemed to provide some rhythm, the sultry lyrics fuelling you further.
"so needy that i had to buy out the whole store for an hour, huh?" the male slows his pace, delivering deep thrusts into your cunt with the precision of an expert.
all you can reply are in little pants, sentences incoherent from how deep his cock is in you.
"i don't even think an hour is enough to satisfy my pretty little girl, isn't that right?" gojo picks up the speed again, and you're brought back to the many times he's fucked over his counter, washing machine. to the times where he's eaten you out on his office table and in his sheets of his king-sized.
and now, you've got another memory locked away for nights full of loneliness and soaked underwear when gojo's just too busy for you.
a tongue to your nipples and a hand to your clit makes you choke out a moan, writhing against the glass just to feel more of gojo, more of his cock and more of his lips on your neck.
you're struggling to keep yourself up, finding the right time in between muffled moans and whimpers to ask for one more wish.
"daddy... p-please, i wanna see your-"
"what, baby? repeat it for me." goddamn, the man had no problem articulating his words, how much had he fucked you already?
clearly not enough if you're still able to speak.
"w-wanna see your face when you fuck me deep, daddy!"
your wish is taken away when you're already creaming all over gojo as your hot breath creates fog on the glass in a silent scream.
"aw, you're cumming so hard baby~ you didn't even get to see me yet," he coos, enjoying the gush of your juices that coat his dick and your thighs. everything feels sticky and dirty, but you don't hesitate to beg for one more fuck with your eyes.
gojo catches your drift immediately, hips twitching from the idea of pumping you full of his cum. after all, he hasn't come yet.
he grunts at the time with a quick glance to the clock above your head. without wasting any more time, he flips you over, the restraint to cum slowly reaching its limit with your lolling tongue and fucked-out face.
the male doesn't bother to hide the deep groan that rips from his throat when he drags his dick along your folds, strings of both your juices stretching out in a way that hypnotises gojo.
"n-need your cock, daddy! please!" you whine, grinding your hips against the tip to make sure gojo knows of your desperation. that he's the only one to fuck you so good that no one else can satisfy you.
he smiles knowingly before he sinks into you.
gojo knows that he's the only one that can make you feel this way as he picks up the tempo, hitting spots in you that you didn't know was physically possible.
gojo knows that he's the only one you call daddy shamelessly as he writes off his card to help you in your student debts and the sparkly dress you've been eyeing.
he could throw you away the second you're done with university, the second the media's off his ass about his love life but, the sweet, sweet moans spilling from your lips pull him back in every single time, eager to hear it for as long as your bank's empty and his is piled up with money.
"more! satoru, more, fuuuck..." you groan, shying away from the striking blues of his eyes the more he drinks in your current state.
he's barely holding on, not even minding the first name you called him. the short skirt he'd given you flipped up makes him go crazy, your panties moved to the side to receive the dressing room quickie you always wanted.
"you're so de..eep daddy! i need all your c-cum please...!" it's a mix between a whimper and a whine.
"yeah? 'course i am, baby. your pussy is sucking me in all the w-way," gojo's hips stutters at how you squirm in his tight grasp, locking eyes with him as yours fill with want. your pussy is throbbing, stretched out so much that you don't register the thumb playing with your clit.
"s' too much...! s' too much, d-daddy!"
"you're a good girl, aren't you?" the way you nod is pathetic, eyebrows knitted from being stuffed so full.
"pretty little thing- fuuck..." gojo's losing control himself, the way his balls slaps against your cunt resonates around the small space and nothing feels better than being inches deep in you.
you're a babbling mess by then, unable to even scream out as you cream his cock. with head thrown back, you're left frozen for a second as the orgasm washes over you and a violent shudders goes through your thighs.
"daddy has so much, s-shit- cum for you, doll," it isn't long before the other comes undone, a groan escaping his lips before he shoots his load deep into you.
your pussy is stained white from all the cum he's giving you, gasping from how much gojo is leaking into you.
"thank y-you, satoru..." you trembling has affected your voice, too, burying your head into gojo's neck while your body shivers from sensitivity.
"take all of it, baby," gojo whispers, the hand near your middle moves instantly to finger his cum back into you, fixing back your underwear over your pussy.
a cheeky giggle leaves your mouth as you untangle yourself from the embrace, welcoming a kiss from the man as he slowly begins to clean up himself.
"have you chosen a dress yet, sir?"
gojo's smile is mischievous, not missing the way your face flushes at having to face the embarrassed staff outside.
"we'll take everything, thanks," his eyes never leave you as he helps you off the changing room chair, tugging your body flush to his before leaving you with one more hungry kiss.
"you did so well for daddy, doll. i may just have to treat you tonight since you have a day off university tomorrow..."
even if it wasn't in the contract, gojo loved to spoil you, admiring your mettle when it comes to material items. although...
"you know what i mean," it's enchanting, the way his voice travels like silk, "i'll call in sick for work tomorrow, yeah?"
your mind goes to mush at what tonight might entail, losing all train of coherence when his hushed whisper of my baby's so cute reaches your ear.
in a second you're out of there, hand twined with his while you remain giddy with the thought of getting used by gojo until you reach your limit.
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
Text
Plank All Over Me - 72 Questions With Vogue Edition
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Plank All Over Me Series Masterlist
Regular Masterlist
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“Hi. I’m here from Vogue. Mind if I ask you a few questions?”
“Oh, hey. Didn’t see you there.” You flirtatiously flipped your perfectly curled hair over your shoulder and winked at the camera. “Come on in.”
You walked inside your house, and gestured for the camera man to follow. In preparation for the interview, you and Tom had gotten out every award you’d ever won and strategically placed them around the house. You smiled at the camera and rubbed your hand over your growing baby bump.
“Welcome to my crib. Sorry it’s such a mess.” You rolled your eyes and faked a laugh, knowing the house was far from being a mess. You kept walking and saw Tom in the living room, polishing on of his awards with a feather duster.
“Oh my stars.” You feigned a gasp once you spotted Tom. “Is that my husband, the critically acclaimed movie star and Lip-sync battle winner, Tom Holland? I had no idea he was home.” You winked at the camera again.
“Oh, hello.” Tom stopped dusting and posed with a smile. “Don’t mind me. I was just cleaning this.”
“Might want to give that a dusting too.” You pointed to one of your awards before sending the camera another huge smile.
“Are you guys ready to answer some questions?” The camera guy asked.
“I was born ready.” Tom concurred with a smile.
“You were a C section baby.” You reminded him. “You weren’t even born.”
“I was removed ready.” He kept the same tone in his voice.
“Where did you meet?” The camera man asked as you and Tom began to walk towards your backyard.
“We met at BBC Radio 1 while doing the Plank All Over Me challenge.” Tom answered.
“Where was your first date?”
“Cracker Barrel.” You winked at the camera as you opened your back door. Tom laughed and shook his head at your joke.
“It was not. We got milkshakes at an Ice Cream Shop in Soho.” He corrected you.
“Who made the first move?”
“Why, he did.” You touched a hand to your heart. “He found me after the planking challenge, both our arms sore and aching, and asked me out on a date. We’ve been together ever since.”
“When you did you move in together?”
“About six months into the relationship when I realized she had a bigger bathroom than me.” Tom answered as he took a seat in one of your decorative deck chairs.
“How long have you been together?”
“Since September 29, 2019 at precisely 6:33 p.m.” You responded.
“Wow. Just a year?”
“Realistically, we’ve been together for a few years, but that’s when this series was first posted.” You shrugged. Tom and the camera blinked in confusion for a few minutes as they processed what you said.
“Moving on.” The camera man cleared his throat. “Tom, how did you pick an engagement ring?”
“I went into the shop and I said “which is the least expensive because I’m trying to buy a Porsche” and that’s how she ended up with this bad boy.” Tom smirked as he held up your hand to show off your engagement ring.
“I can’t wait to tell our baby that story.” You played along as you rubbed your baby bump.
“When did you know you wanted to propose?”
“As soon as she started whining because the planking was hurting her arms, I knew she was the one.” Tom joked.
“Did you know he was going to propose?”
“Surprisingly, no.” You laughed. “It’s the one secret he’s ever kept.
“I nearly got an ulcer from trying to keep it from her.” Tom blew out a breath.
“Who planned the majority of the wedding?”
“I did.” You declared. “I had to text Tom the morning of the wedding to remind him where the venue was.”
“Did either of you cry?”
“As soon as I mentioned the yoga challenge in my vows, the whole room was sobbing.” Tom teased.
“How big was the reception?”
“Let’s just say, we had all the Avengers there.” Tom nodded.
“All the important ones, anyway.” You joked. “Mackie couldn’t make it.”
“How did you spend your honeymoon?”
“We went to Bali and didn’t see any of it.” Tom smirked, earning a playful smack on the arm from you.
“What’s been your favorite video together?”
“I loved the prank with Josh.” You answered with a smile.
“I didn’t.” Tom shook his head. “I nearly threw hands with a ginger that day. I quite liked the friendship test.”
“What video gave you the fondest memories?”
“Spill your Guts, for sure. That’s when I learned about the existence of this one.” Tom beamed as he rubbed your baby bump.
“What was your least favorite video to film?”
“We already know Tom’s answer.” You chuckled.
“Prank interview.” He stated. “To this day, I hate it.”
“Did you see yourself getting married when you first met?”
“All I saw were the nose hairs in Tom’s nostrils when we first met.” You laughed. “After all, he did plank on me for six and a half minutes.”
“I had a feeling we would.” Tom smiled shyly. “Or a hope, at least.”
You pouted at his sincerity and leaned forward to kiss him, which his happily accepted.
“Have you thought of baby names?”
“Josh.” You answered immediately and Tom groaned.
“I’m kidding.” You rolled your eyes. “I really like the name Ryan Reynolds though.”
”What are you hoping for?”
“An oscar.” Tom answered at the same time you said “A divorce.”
“You already want a divorce?” The camera man laughed.
“Oh, not a divorce from Tom.” You assured him. “I want Ryan Reynolds to divorce Blake Lively so he can marry me instead.” You explained as Tom nodded along.
“And I want to die every time she says that.” He cracked a smile.
“Let’s get back to the baby questions.” The camera man said as you began to move around the yard. “Do you know the gender?”
“We do.” Tom said deviously. “But we’re not telling.”
“Do you think the baby will be more like their mother or their father?”
“Definitely me.” You stated.
“Why are you so sure?”
“Because Tom’s not the father.” You smiled sweetly. Tom stared at the camera with an unamused expression and shook his head.
“Who’s going to be the fun parent?”
“Considering I’m the parent who can swing from buildings, I say me.” Tom boasted.
“Who’s going to teach the baby how to read?”
“I am. And after the baby learns, they can teach Tom.” You smiled as you patted Tom’s shoulder.
“Do you think the baby will like to plank?”
“If they’re anything like their mommy, no.” Tom poked fun at you.
“And if they’re anything like their daddy, they’ll grow up to play the Green Lantern.” You shot back.
“Hahahah. She’s so funny.” Tom forced a laugh at your joke.
“Do you think the baby will develop your senses of humor?”
“Wait, you have a sense of humor?” You asked Tom. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“She loves me so much, it’s crazy.” Tom deadpanned towards the camera.
“Do you want the baby to grow up to be an actor or actress like you guys?”
“I just want the baby to be happy.” Tom gave a serious answer. “Every thing else will fall into place on its own.”
“That’s a great answer. Do you think you’ll post about the baby a lot of keep them out of the spotlight for the first few years of their life?”
“I think we’ll wait until they’re at least 4 months old until we exploit them for our own financial gain.” You said and Tom nodded along.
“Have you picked out the godparents yet?”
“Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal.” You joked. “They’re so excited. Jake said he would take the baby fishing.”
“He’s taken me fishing a few times.” Tom said as he stared off.
“How have you been preparing for the baby?”
“Well, I personally stopped sleeping, changed my whole diet, started lactating, and my pelvic bone separated in the middle so that I could push the baby out. Tom, what did you do?” You tilted your head at him.
“I bought the car seat.” Tom said proudly. “My wife picked it out, though.”
“I also drove him there.” You glared at the camera for a moment, cracking a smile after your joke.
“What are you most looking forward to after the baby is born?”
“Laying on my stomach.” You laughed as you looked down at your protruding bump.
“I also miss laying on her stomach.” Tom pouted as he rubbed the bump. “That was my favorite cuddle position.”
“Aw. I’m sorry we can’t cuddle the way you want to anymore because I’m growing your child inside my body.” You said sarcastically, making Tom laugh.
“Thank you for growing our child inside your body. I don’t say it enough.” Tom praised as he leaned in for a kiss.
“You’re welcome.” You smiled at him before turning to the camera man. “Anything else you want to know?”
“Actually, I have a question.” Tom stated as he looked at the camera.
“What’s that?” The camera man asked. You and Tom looked at each other and exchanged a smile before turning back the the camera.
“Are you excited to meet our baby girl?”
Tag List 🏷
@thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest​ @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​
@foreverxholland​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @maryjanee23​ @geeksareunique​ @emmamarshmellow​ @unbelievableholland​ @rebekkah4766​ @flixndchill​ @sovereignparker​ @thisisthebiplace​ @spideydobrik​ @every-marveler-ever​ @undiadeestos​ @caelestii-e​ @eridanuswave​ @itscaminow​ @fiantomartell​ @solarxmoonchild​ @where-art-thau-romeo​ @canyouevencauseicant​ @illwritetomorrow​ @thehappygrungelife​ @saysomethingspiderman​ @parkerboop​ @smilexcaptainx​ @quaksonhehe​ @kelieah​ @kickingn-ames​ @babeyspidey​ @seasidecrowbar​ @lovelessdagger​ @love-sick-blues​ @electraheart-3174​ @lou-la-lou @unbelievableholland​ @yourtypicalhotmess​ @spideyanakin​ @horanxholland​ @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind​ @marshxx​ @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie​ @tomshufflepuff​ @cookiemonstermusic258​
@maybemona @young-romanoff​ @alexxcorona113​ @fancyxparker​ @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey​ @im-still-tryin-to-find-it​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper​  @thestylestour​  @officialsimppage​ @mrvelscaptains @peterspideysstuff​ @reemusluupin​ @perspectiveparker​ @itsemohours​ @satanswitchings​ @okkulta​ @amorhollands @parkerlovebot​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @mati4188 @geminiparkers @xfirstfemale-marauderx @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @awesomebooklover17 @itstaskeen @whatthefuckimbisexual
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kaz11283 · 3 years
Note
ok ok idk if ur still taking request but can i have a drabble or a one shot or anything of loki dealing with/ taking care/ drinking with drunk y/n??? i’m drunk rn and that’s allll i need in life
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Babysitter
The party at Starks compound was going off without a hitch, celebrating the man himselfs birthday. The music was to loud, lights flickering everywhere, and laughter bouncing off the walls.
"Come drink with us y/n!" Thor bellowed to you across the bar montioning you to follow him to the group that was sitting around one of the back tables. You flopped down next to Loki and let out a sigh.
"How are you this evening y/n?" He asked moving his leg over slightly so that he wouldnt have to touch you. That was your power, being able to read people minds with a simple touch, nights like tonight all ways set you on edge with to many people bumping, shoving, touching. The whole atmosphere drove you mad most of the time.
"Handling it." You forced a smile looking over at him. "Alcohol helps repress it." You said picking up your drink and giving a silent cheers to the handsome man that had decided to dress in a black dress shirt and dark colored jeans. You threw your head back and took the shot.
"Starting the party stong this evening y/n?" Tony asked raising his eyebrow at you.
"Putting everyone elses thoughts on the back burner for tonight Tony." You said smiling sweetly at him before taking another shot.
"So whos on babysitting duty tonight then?" Bucky laughed looking around the table.
"I'm not that bad-"
"Thor had to pull you off the bar last time before you started stripping." Your face turned bright red as you glanced over to Thor whos face was the same color mounthing out sorry.
"Dont worry I've got her this time." Loki laughted taking a sip of his wine.
"Babysitter." You rolled your eyes again taking a sip of the mixed drink that Nat had put in front of you making sure her hand grazed your.
Loki seems quite excited to be on babysotting duty tonight, you might be in for another private stripping session tonight.
You shot her a look that sent her into a fit of laughs.
"Another round then!" Thor yelled at the bar tender. "We are celebrating the Man of Iron tonight." You sighed slouching back in your chair.
"Relax, darling, I've got you tonight." Loki whispered leaning over to you. "I won't let you make a complete fool of your self."
As the night grew so did your buzz, your cheeks were getting warmer, and the dress you had on now started feeling constricting. You started pulling at the bottom and then neck.
"Your fidgeting darling." Loki said placing his hand on your leg causing you to jump.
"My dress is to tight. I just need to get up for a second." You said standing to walk over to the bar.
"Dress to tight?" Steve asked looking over at Loki.
"She had to get up for a moment." At that moment there was whistling coming from the dance floor.
"Umm, babysitter." Tony said pointing behind Loki. As he turned around he noticed that you had already started to pull the dress up more than you should have. Loki jumped up running toward you.
"Y/n, what are you doing?" He said grabbing your hands causing your dress to fall back down.
"Lok, I'm hot. So freaking hot. This dress, its to tight. I need it off." You said trying to shake him off.
"Come on then, lets get you out of here." He said pulling you out the door. You bumped into a man standing near the door.
Wish she would have finished. He doesnt deserve to be able to see all that undressed.
You stopped suddenly looking at the man before raring back and punching him in the face. "I dont think its any of your concern who sees me like that." Loki stopped and stared at you before escourting you out of the crowed room.
"Asshole." You huffed behind him. He was able to lead you to the floor where his room was. "You could have just taken me back to my room so that you could go back." You sighed flopping down on his bed. The buzz had slowly started wearing off but the room was still spinning.
"Its ok y/n. Besides if I'm taking care of you then I cant go back to that overrated party then can I?" He laughed sitting next to you.
"I get so tired of being able to hear what people are thinking. It is literally exhausting. Trying to find somewhere to sit thats not to close to someone. Especially one of the guys, all of yall are perverts. Course the girls are just as bad most of the time." You put your head in your hands tearing up. Nope, the drunk still wasnt over.
"The power that you have makes you you y/n. If you didnt have that power you wouldnt be here with your friends."
"Yeah friends that I can hug because im afraid that I might hear something that I shouldn't. I made that mistake once. I hugged Steve not even thinking and he was thinking about Nat. Like thinking about something that no one but those two should know about. After that I just stopped touching everyone. Do you know how bad that sucks?"
"Ah, touch starved." He said laughing. "May I try something?"
"Its no use, everyone tells me they can shut it all off but theres always something on their minds." You shrug.
"Give me your hand." He saod placing his hand out palm up. You begrudgingly put your hand in his causing him to smile. "Well?"
"I think im about to be sick." You said jumping up and running to his bathroom silently thanking Tony for sticking with one layout for every room.
"Oh dear." Loki said following you in there and grabbing ahold of your hair that had fallen. "I think you will live." He helped you sit on the side of the bathtub as he got a clean rag for you to whip your face.
"I'm sorry you got stuck with me tonight." You whispered closing your eyes.
"Stop that nonsense. I volunteered for it. I knew what was coming." He laughed as he walked out to his room to get you a clean shirt. "Now tell me. Did you hear anything when I touched you?"
"Actually no, I didnt even realize it when you was pulling me from the party." You said putting the shirt next to you. "How?"
"I can 'turn it off' if that makes any sense. Telepathic people drive me insane. Always trying to figure out what your thinking. I learned at a young age how to block stuff like that out. Wanda tends to be the worlds worst."
"Its nice. The quiet. I havent had that, ever." You leand your head aginst the cool wall closing your eyes.
"Hey, no no no. Lets get you changed and laid down in bed before you pass out." He pulled you to your feet and looked at you. "Do you need assistance?"
You laughted as him. "No. Its fine ive got this." You pulled your dress off and pulled his on before walking out and flopping down on his bed.
"Do you mind holding my hand? Its nice not having to worry about what i might hear." Loki laid down beside you and placed his hand in yours.
"If you ever need some quiet time you are more than welcome to come find me." He sais placing a kiss to your temple before you fell asleep.
Thank you so MUCH for the request! I hope you like it. I had one, erased it and restarted so thats what took took me so long to write this one. If you have any more please feel free to send them in!
Tag List:
@high-functioning-lokipath
@serpentargo
@drbaureid
@poetic-fiasco
@kgirardin
@sophlubbwriting
@supbeeches
@rosaline-black
@jesuswasnotawhiteman
@natandersonnla
@delightfulheartdream
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nobutfredweasleytho · 3 years
Text
YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)
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Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.
Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you
(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)
Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.
“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”
“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.
“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.
“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”
“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”
Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.
“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.
“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”
Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”
The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.
“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?
“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.
The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.
Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.
Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.
The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.
A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.
The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.
Dear Freddie,
I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.
But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.
But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.
The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.
You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.
You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.
That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.
You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.
Did you think about her the first time we slept together?
Was I not enough for you Freddie?
Was I too clingy too soon?
Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?
So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.
I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.
I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.
I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.
I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.
I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.
Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.
Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.
Have a nice life,
Y/N
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king-star · 3 years
Text
When the Party’s Over
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Warning: Homophobia, transphobia, death, bile, guts, broken limb, crying, pet neglection, driving while slightly tipsy, fire (lmk if i need to add more. This is all around pretty dark and sad, proceed with caution)
Match: Yelena Belova x enby!Reader; Wanda Maximoff x reader
Genre: Angst, Angst, and more Angst
A/N: This is the first chapter in a series. Idk how long it’ll be. the plan is bi weekly updates. im reallyyyyy proud of this one so let’s hope it doesn’t flop. ENJOY!
Word Count: ~3,000
Summary: You have a horrible nightmare, leaving you with anxiety for Yelena. Yelena assures you that everything is fine and leaves on a mission.
Your tongue rubs the roof of your mouth in an attempt to rid itself of the sickly sweet drink you’d been sipping. A hundred intoxicated humans swirl around you. Fabric, skin, and feathers blend together, the orchestra the only thing holding off the headache behind your eyes.
You didn’t want to be here. Sure ballroom charity balls could be fun. If you had your best friends there, you could chat only with them, and dance to your heart's content. Unfortunately for you, everyone you could stand to be around was busy. Leaving you human-shieldless from your mothers many socialite friends.
The “oh my goodness Y/N I haven’t seen you since you were in highschool. How are you?” got old quick. Retelling your life story over and over was a pain especially with your mother gripping your hand making sure you didn’t slip up. Share any information that didn’t quite fit the Y/L/N dynasty image. Mostly she didn’t want you sharing about the love of your life, your girlfriend, your Yelena.
When the two of you first got together you waited nearly 5 months before telling your mother. The first time you dated a girl she had hated it. She tried to act like she was supportive, claiming “I will always love you no matter what.” But in the end she always shielded this fact from the public eye. She was supportive of all the LGBT+ movements from a political standpoint. Never her own child.
You never told Yelena about this. You claimed the reason you didn’t want to share her with your mother was because you wanted your relationship to not have paparazzi after you two. She bought it for a while but you could only keep the love of your life away from the woman who gave you life for so long. It didn’t take a master spy to understand the emotions behind the look your mother gave you when you brought Yelena to dinner. Yelena never brought it up but it was an unspoken understanding. Your mother didn’t accept you no matter how hard she tried to fake it.
Now you just wanted the event to be over so you could go home to Yelena. You flipped your wrist, checking the ridiculously expensive watch you had on.
11:31
She was definitely asleep by now. Yelena never stayed up past 10:30. Frowning, you set down your glass and turned to your mother, waiting for her conversation to end. When she finally stopped speaking she turned to you and cocked an eyebrow,
“Y/N. Are you leaving? so soon?” she pouted but enough years in her home taught you her looks. This was faked sadness.
“Unfortunately yes mother. Lena is probably asleep by now and I have work early. She probably forgot to feed our dog,” you enunciated the words that might clue in your mothers friend on how you and this woman were related. A last “fuck you mother” before you left. She smiled warningly and nodded.
“Well… you must get home to your friend. I will see you soon daughter,” she kissed your hand and you stood there frozen. Of course, she would invalidate your gender and your relationship in one comment. Your nostrils flared and you turned quickly, letting your hand smack your unfinished drink into her lap and treading off quickly.
“Fuck you mother. How someone could be so hateful to their own child I will never understand,” you muttered to yourself. You handed your ticket to the valet and stood with your arms crossed, waiting. You made sure to tip the valet an absurd amount, and drove off quickly. The only thing that would keep you from doing something stupid in retaliation was Yelena’s arms around you.
~
Nearly thirty minutes later you pulled the car into the garage. It shouldn’t have taken you that long to get home but you couldn’t help but drive with the top down for a bit. Anger and maybe a bit of fear had bubbles underneath your skin and you didn’t want to bother Yelena. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.
Fanny met you at the door. She was obviously excited, tail wagging as she raced back to her food bowl
“ok ok girl. I’ve got you,” you rubbed her head and dumped a scoop of food into her bowl. Loosening your tie you dragged yourself to the bedroom. You smiled as the light poured in and illuminated the silhouette of a sleeping Yelena.
“Deep asleep. I’ll join you in a second,” you pulled the rest of your suit off. Picking up a discarded shirt you put it on, and leaned your head against the mirror.
“That was misery. And mother’s comment. I shouldn’t care about what that bitch thinks or says. But I can't help it,” you let out a sigh and picked up your toothbrush. Maybe someday she will accept you. But at that point would she ever be able to make up for how she treated you?
Ready for bed you slid in beside Yelena, careful not to wake her. Fanny, finished with her food, jumped into bed with you and snuggled up with a lick to your face. You smiled and kissed her head then kissed Yelena.
“night my love. See you in the morning,” your heavy lids drooped and you relaxed, setting a hand on Yelena and falling into dreamland.
~
Your thighs hurt. Fire and smoke burn your throat and eyes. You search for something. What exactly you aren’t sure. Tears stream down your face as anxiety floods your chest. If you don’t find the thing soon your world will be crushed.
A broken door, barely on its hinges, is at your right and you know that’s it. A hard turn and you smack your arm into the frame. You grasp at your wrist as more tears prick your eyes.
“Fuck!” A familiar level of pain flares and you know it’s broken. Your eyes dart around the room, still looking for that unknown thing. A pile of smoking wood sits in front of you and your feet carry you to it. This was it.
You try hard to pull through the heavy, hot wood with your one arm. A cry comes from below, an anxiety flaring familiar cry. You pull harder and uncover and dirty and bloody Yelena.
“LENA!” you shout and help her out. Her hands held her stomach. She smiles sickly and then curls in pain.
“Y/N. You found me. I hoped you would. Quick kiss me. I don’t have long,” Your eyes widen and you move her hands. The sight of her stomach makes you sick. Turning to the side you retch and vile spills from your mouth. You wipe your mouth and shake your head, tears fall hard now.
“Lena no no. You’re fine. We can fix you. Please,” you slide your arm under her and try to pick her up but she screams and goes limp in your arms.
“FUCK Y/N! stop. There's no hope. Please just kiss me. I don’t want to die without that.” you shake your head more and set her down. You refused to accept her death.
“No Yelena you are not going to die here. You can’t die. You are too well trained. a-and… I can't live without you. it’ll be fine,” She tries to raise her head but then it falls and she spasms. Your eyes widen and you do your best to hold her still but your broken wrist shoots in pain.
“No no no NO!” you kiss her over and over. Fear pulses through you and when she relaxes completely you sob. Your head aches from the pressure of your sobs and your broken wrist protests. Maybe hours pass and you sit there with her dead body pressed to your chest, her blood and guts smearing all over you.
Then guilt overtakes the sadness. She asked you for one thing. One single kiss before she died and you didn’t fulfill that. You couldn’t give her everything she deserved in life or even in her final moments.
You wake up shaking and screaming. Yelena is awake next to you, crying and shaking your shoulder violently.
“Please Y/N,” she sobs, snot and tears mix and fall forgotten. You sit up barely able to hold yourself up. She is alive.
“Fuck Yelena what’s wrong?” Your dream haunts you. You search her stomach and her whole body for major wounds. She is obviously unsure what you are doing and grabs your face forcing you to look at her.
“Y-you were shaking and screaming and crying and I didn’t know what was wrong. If you were having a seizure or what.” You shake your head and take deep breaths.
“No, I'm good. Not seizure. R-Really…” your words falter and you stare off, caught up in the memory of the dream. Yelena snaps in front of you and hugs your arm. “Ah sorry. Bad dream. really, really bad dream.” you stare at her head unsure if this was the dream or if Yelena really was alive.
“D-do you want to tell me about it?” Her arms slide under yours and she holds you from the side. You shake your head and lay it on her shoulder. “Ok but if you do tell me. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep again.”
The thought of being asleep again makes you tense up. Yelena feels it and rubs your side softly. She kisses you in every way she knows you like and pets your head.
“I’m not going to sleep. I can’t live through that again. It made me think I was going to be alone. Please don’t leave me Lena. please. I don’t wanna die alone.” She frowns and hugs you tight.
“I’m never going to leave you. I’m here baby. I’m here.” She kisses your jaw softly and you nod. Relaxing again, you wrap your arms around her waist and kiss her shoulders.
“Y-you died. There was a fire and I broke my wrist and it was smokey and you got impaled and you died. You asked me to kiss you and I couldn’t accept the fact you were dying so I didn’t kiss you. I couldn’t give you what you deserve.” She frowns and kisses you.
“No Y/N. Don’t you dare. It was just a nightmare, that’s all. I’m NEVER leaving you. ok?” She holds your face and kisses you softly. The kiss lasts a while and you melt into your touch. Fears still paralyse you every couple hours but she holds you until the sun comes up. She knows exactly what you love and how to make you feel safe. She really wasn’t ever going to leave.
~
Weeks pass. You are sure you have gotten past the nightmare. You go to work everyday and Yelena stays home going through paperwork. When you come home the two of you snuggle and bliss fills you. Your mother doesn’t ask you to come to any more charity events and you think maybe, just maybe things are good.
Then Yelena gets called on the mission. When she tells you she will be gone for a week your mind reels. You can barely see straight as the dream vividly flashes through your brain. Yelena gets worried, grabbing your hand and you back away searching her body for any sign of blood.
“No. Lena please. What if you get hurt? I-I can’t. You promised you’d never leave.” Her eyes look at you apologetically.
“Don’t worry. I’m a professional. It’s just a small info gathering job. Absolutely no danger,” she smiles at you and sets a hand on your shoulder. You back away from her hand and lean your head back to force the tears back.
“Yelena… ok. Please. Don’t get hurt,” She nods and kisses your cheek grabbing her bag.
You spend the entire week at home. Anxiety grips you so hard that you can’t stand to go to work. A fever strikes and you throw up every evening at almost exactly 10:30. Work tells you to stay at home and probably go to the doctor. Honestly you’d rather go to work so you have less time to think about her.
Most of Yelena's missions don’t allow for her to contact you and the stress of it all has your brain thinking of her the entire time she’s gone. By the time Yelena is on her way back you have dropped 12 pounds. You hadn’t eaten, only bothering to get up to feed Fanny. A cold sweat coats your skin and you hold your arms to you. Blankets were too hot, but it was too cold without them.
The alarm on your phone signalling it’s time to feed Fanny goes off. You throw the blankets off and wipe dried tears. The tv screen flashes a “keep watching screen.” You aren’t really sure when it came up but your mind hadn’t registered the tv in a couple days.
When the door clicks unlocked you scream. Silence had filled the apartment for so long and the sound was louder than anything you’d ever heard. Fanny starts barking, running to the door, then coming back and sitting at your feet.
You fall to the ground clasping the food scoop. Fanny licks your face as tears fall. Every fear that had plagued you came to the forefront of your mind. What if it wasn’t Yelena? What if it was Hill telling you to come in? No, they would call you for that. But if Yelena was dead…
Arms wrap around and pick you up, setting you on the couch. You whip your head back and forth trying to catch a glance of who it is. In the back of your mind you know it's her, but for some reason you’d been convinced over the past week that she’s dead.
A warm towel wipes away dried tears and snot, and a soft hand holds yours. Tears blur your vision but you steady your breaths. The anxiety in your chest dissipates. You lean your head back forcing the tears in and look back to catch a look at the woman you love. But, instead of long blonde hair and soft round face,  you see long red hair, falling in waves.
“Lena? Did you have to dye your hair for the mission?” She frowns and shakes her head, setting down the towel.
“Fuck Y/N. I know you can’t remember but I hate having to keep telling you this,” The voice is not Yelena’s. It’s your friends. Wanda’s. Your eyes look her all over and you tense up confused.
“Tell me what Wanda? What’s wrong with Lena?” She grabs both your hands and looks at you with the softest expression she can muster.
“The fire Y/N. Do you remember? The fire where Lena…. She bled out,” The anxiety of the dream. No memory. The smoke, your raw throat, and the hours of sobbing.
You shake your head and quick breaths fill your lungs. Wanda tries to get you to calm down. Your vision spots while your brain searches for oxygen your hyperventilating can’t provide.
“Y/N please calm down. Please. FUCK! I promised to never use it without permission but between the two of you…” Red magic flows from her hands and wraps around your head. Your breathing slows down and your vision comes back. Wanda cradles your head and hums.
You reach up and see the tear streaks on her face. Her eyes look bloodshot and dark circles are prominent under her eyes. You pout and try to hug her back. All the fears that had consumed you for weeks were now gone. Even if it was only by Wanda’s magic. You curled into her side and fell asleep. Finally able to find some peace.
~
It was the night of the charity gala. You drove home but had taken the long way around to cool off from your mothers subtle aggression. Plans on how to ignore her future advances build in your mind as you pull into the parking garage. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.
Sirens sound from the road in front of your complex and you growl. The loud noise and lights make your head pound. You shake your keys and walk towards the stairwell. Coughing into your arm and you open the door to your floor. You throw your hand back with a scream at the hot door handle.
“the fuck…? NO!” forgetting your pain you throw open the door and run into the building. Smoke flows from under doors and fire licks at the walls. The sound of the siren gets louder from some open window. You run through the halls trying your best to not breathe in smoke. Yelena would be asleep. She wouldn’t know what’s happening.
Your apartment door is on the right and you stand back and kick the handle. Your foot hurts as it contacts the rough wooden door but it cracks. You kick again and the door falls in. Running through the door you smack your arm into the frame and cry out in pain.
Fanny barks from one of the rooms and you follow the noise letting her run free into the hallway. You hope dearly that the dog finds her way out.
The entirety of your home is consumed in flames. Beams that held up the apartment above you are on the floor. The poor old couple who was always so nice. Hopefully they had gotten out before it collapsed. Running to your bedroom you try to open the door. It gives quickly but before you can get to Yelena a strong arm grabs at your back.
“What the? HEY!” you squirm trying to slip out of the grip. You have no luck and result to punching. Nothing makes the arms let you go as they pull you from the building. Along the way down you consider it may be a firefighter saving your life.
“Please. My girlfriend, she’s still in there. Please, she was asleep. Save her. I can get out,” you plead with your “saviour”. The person doesn’t acknowledge any words or attempts of movement. They just carry you out of the building back into the parking garage. At some point you began crying, fearing for your girlfriends and your neighbours lives.
You are carried to a car and roughly thrown in. Your broken wrist, now remembered, aches and you curl into a ball. The driver doesn’t speak to you and the person who carried you doesn’t get into the car with you. You didn’t register the person in the back seat with you until they cough. Or rather She coughs.
“Oh Y/N I’m glad we got you out ok. I was so scared we wouldn’t be able to get you out before the fire got you too,” Your eyes widen at the familiar voice and you sit up looking into her eyes. The pieces fall into place in your mind. No you’d never thought she’d be this cruel. Yet here you were, Yelena and Fanny. They were in there.
“You didn’t. no no you didn’t. You are cruel and hateful but not murderous,” you pull away as a hand strokes your cheek. Hate flashes behind your eyes.
“Oh honey. You will forgive me when you realise it was for the sake of the family. Like they always say; ‘Mother knows best.’”
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Hayloft (p.2)
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Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader
Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)
Warnings: Abuse, drunkenness, misogyny, reader’s mother is dead, decapitating a chicken, reader is kind of emotional in this chapter
Word Count: 4.2k
A/N: My first slow(er) burn fic! Let me know what you think!
Part 1 
_____________________
Work had passed fairly quickly as it always did when you had the opening shift. It sure sucked having to arrive at five o’clock in the morning but at least you got off earlier and you knew that that way you could grab groceries before your father got home and could yell at you about an empty kitchen again. By two o’clock in the afternoon, you were home again, hopping out of your truck and grabbing as many bags as you could in one go. 
The loud sound of metal slamming against metal shook you and you flinched, looking between your door and the frame to see Arvin walking out towards you. It hadn’t occurred to you that his car was even in your driveway. After so many years of having busted broken down old cars sitting there that your dad had been swearing he’d fix for almost ten years, cars in the driveway seemed normal. “Let me give you a hand,” he offered as he got closer, lifting the canvas bags from your hands before you could object. 
“Oh!” You exclaimed as you felt the weight suddenly taken off your own arms, “Thank you.” You dove back into the truck to grab the last two bags before slamming it shut with your hips. The two of you began your stroll towards the front door, the dirt driveway kicking up around your feet. “You’re back early.” You noted, looking over at Arvin. 
He shrugged, “Yeah, uh, Wallace had me on the early shift today.” 
You fumbled with the bags as you tried to unlock the door, kicking it open with your toes when it finally gave in. You walked into your home and Arvin followed, closing the door behind him. “Been here long? I didn’t see you in the driveway.” 
“Not too long. I just didn’t want to let myself into your home without nobody there.” Arvin set the bags on the counter next to where you set yours. 
You began to unpack the bags and put the groceries in the respective places. Arvin watched off to the side, unsure of how your kitchen was organized so he was worried he’d do more than good if he stepped in. “My daddy got the late shift?” 
Arvin shook his head, noticing that his beat up old hat was still on his head despite being indoors and took it off immediately, his tousled brown curls parting messily down the middle. “No, we went in at the same time. He ‘n some buddies said they was goin’ to some bar in town.” 
He watched your shoulders fall a little and you sighed, “Figures…. You didn’t go?” 
Again, Arvin shook his head, “No. No offense to your daddy but I don’t like to drink the way I get the feelin’ he does.” 
You snorted, turning to him with a knowing chuckle, “Let’s just say that I’m sorry in advance for whatever he says or does when he gets home, if he gets home. Sheriff Pike might end up callin’ in the mornin’ tellin’ us to pick him up.” Though it was stated as a joke, Arvin could hear the tragic reality behind your words. 
Arvin then noticed the pack of beer bottles that you were pulling out of the bag. As if you could feel his eyes looking at you with worried curiosity, you glanced over at him, noticing the way his eyes flicked between you and the beer in your hands. You offered a sad shrug, “I know what you’re thinkin’ but trust me. Sometimes it’s better to have him drunk and possibly content than sober and angry there’s nothing to drink. Besides, the beer is better than the hard stuff with ‘im.” 
“‘M sorry. I didn’t mean to be makin’ faces. Your business is your business,” Arvin backpedalled, giving you an apologetic nod. 
You shook your head, “Don’t worry. I know how it looks. I’m sorry you gotta see all of it. I been tryin’ to keep to keep him calm but if you end up stayin’ a while, I’m sure you’ll get to see him at his worse times.” 
Arvin chewed his lip as he contemplated whether or not to bring up what had been going through his mind but he had to make sure you were alright. “I-I heard you ‘n your dad talkin’ last night… right after you left my room.” 
Your face fell as you realized what he was talking about, “You weren’t s’posed to hear that. I’m sorry.” Shit, this was what you were hoping to avoid. 
“Are you alright?” 
Gentle. Caring. His tone was something that had been long lost to you in this house and it took the words out of your mouth for a moment. It was embarrassing, the way your heart welled up with… well love wasn’t quite the right word but the warmth of being cared about. Not since after your mother had passed had you heard somebody actually care about how you felt. 
You just nodded and gave a forced smile that you could tell was easy to see through but it was the best you could muster. For someone who was able to take so much shit from their father and was able to look the man who would throw things at you and grab you by the hair dead in the eye with nothing but contempt, it was compassion that made you crumble. It had been so unexpected, especially from Arvin, the stranger living in your house. 
“Shit, ‘m sorry! I didn’t mean to - I didn’t mean to overstep. I only…” He stammered over his words and at first you were confused until you felt the single hot tear tracing its way down your cheek. 
You were quick to wipe it away, shocked at your own uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. You hadn’t realized until now that you had zoned out on the ground while Arvin’s words repeated in your head but now a flash of embarrassment ran through you. “No, no, no. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You sniffled once before giving a small laugh of disbelief. “It’s just… It’s been a long time since anybody asked that.” 
You straightened up and ran your hands through your hair, eyes closed as you thought of what else you needed to do. Thankfully, if your dad was at the bar, you had at least another four hours to just you and Arvin, all night if you were lucky, though you seldom were. That was when the feeling of dread set in. Your dad had requested chicken roast for dinner tonight and whether he came home early and only a few beers in or you had to drive him home hungover in the morning, the man would be furious if there weren’t at least reheated leftovers for him. You had to kill Patty and prep her for dinner. 
“You okay?” Arvin asked again, though this time it was in reference to the way a heavy look fell over your features. It wasn’t a profound deep question like it was earlier. 
Your head wavered from side to side and your lips twisted, “My daddy asked for chicken roast tonight. I gotta go out and fix Patty up.” You tried to put it lightly though it felt anything but. “I’ll be out in the coop. You’re more than welcome to clean up in the shower or do whatever you’d like ‘round the house. The radio is in the livin’ room if you wanna tune into somethin’.” 
You pushed yourself off the counter and walked to the door in your kitchen that led out to the backyard but Arvin made a few steps to follow, “Is it alright if I keep you company? It don’t feel right bein’ in your house without you or your daddy here.” 
You smiled at the thought of him staying with you and you nodded, continuing out the door, “Sure, c’mon.” 
The hen house wasn’t very far from the back door. From there, you could see the several acres of land that your father was wasting. Your grandparents had bought this land in the late 1910’s and had started up a little farm of their own to sell locally, though your father had abandoned the farming portion after they died. It was where your daddy had grown up and then where you had as well. God, how you missed your grandparents. Your grandmother’s soft words of love and kindness but sternness and willingness to swat your butt with a wooden spoon if you got an attitude (though she would yell at your father if he ever tried to discipline you - “Now you leave that poor baby alone!”). Your grandfather had looked like a rough and angry old man from years of hard work but he had the softest heart of anyone you’d ever met. How the two of them had raised your father was beyond you. 
When you approached the wired fence and jiggled the lock open, the chickens inside stood surprisingly still. They trusted you. You could see it in their little brown eyes. You were safe and warm and didn’t want to harm them. You came in for the unfertilized eggs they laid and left, oftentimes with some seed and a soft pat or two on the head. Patty, a fat white hen with black specks, walked comfortably around your feet, nuzzling her head against your leg. She was the nicest hen you’d ever had. She trusted you. 
God, you were about to cry again. You bent down to pick her up and you held her against your chest, trying to look her in the eye, though it was difficult when she kept jerking it in different directions. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” you murmured low. Usually it was your father that would slaughter the hens if he really wanted the meat that badly. You had never done it yourself but he’d made you watch every time so that you knew how if the time ever came. Each time it made you sick to your stomach. 
Already, you felt green. The unassuming hen that you had been friendly enough to for her not flip out when you held her was none the wiser that her life was about to end by your hand. You glanced over to the large wood round just ahead and the axe that was leaned up against it. 
Your face contorted as you realized how much you disliked the placement. The way your father would slaughter chickens right in front of their friends made your heart break. It was barbaric. 
You walked over to Arvin and held Patty out towards him, “Would you mind holdin’ onto her for a second?” 
Though visibly confused, he took the chicken from your hands, drawing back when her wings fluttered out at the contact with the new strange man. Arvin watched as you walked towards the large round and tried to push it with all your might. “What’re you doin’?” 
“I’m-” you grunted, feeling it slide slowly, inch by inch, “trying to move it where the other chickens can’t see.” You took another moment to use all your force against it before standing up straight and breathing heavily, “I know it sounds dumb cause they’re only chickens but it feels cruel to make ‘em watch, y’know?” You went back to pushing the round and Arvin approached behind you. 
From here he could see the blood stains in the wood. It looked as if the blood had been washed off but the wood had been stained crimson regardless. There was also a divot where an axe had clearly been driven down many times over the years, chipping away at the wood. 
Arvin’s heart actually warmed a little at your attempt to show mercy and your willingness to go out of your way to spare some chickens’ feelings. It wasn’t something he was sure he’d do himself but when he heard you say it, he realized you had a point. It was cruel to imprison a bunch of animals and then lead them out one by one to be slaughtered in front of everyone, each animal waiting their turn. “Here, take ‘er back. Let me.” Arvin stepped in, handing Patty back over to you and bending down to lift the round onto its side with much effort. The wood had to weigh at least a hundred pounds and had long since settled into the ground where it had been placed when you were a child.
Your eyes widened as you watched his biceps bulge, straining the material of his blue t-shirt. You’d never seen a man with muscles like that before and you found your eyes trailing along his arms, following every popping vein from the tops of his hands, up his forearms, and onto his biceps until they disappeared beneath his shirt. It was something you hadn’t expected to see in him. Arvin looked like a quiet, polite, hardworking young man but you never would have imagined the immaculate muscles he possessed. You found your mind wandering to what other surprises laid in store beneath all those layers he wo- 
You needed to calm yourself down. If only he could hear your thoughts, he surely would be furious and disgusted with you. You hadn’t had such impure thoughts since that one time you had been messing around with Jimmy Bates in the backseat of his old car back in your senior year of high school. The two of you didn’t even go all the way but you went far enough and the guilt ate you alive since the two of you were never officially together anyways. He was just the cute boy from high school that you had pined over years that had finally given you the chance right before he shipped off to join the war. 
“This alright?” Arvin asked, shaking you from your fantasy, and you snapped back into reality to realize he had rolled the wood round around the side of the coop behind the wooden wall, outside of the other chickens’ views. 
You nodded and walked over to him, “That’s perfect. Thank you so much for doin’ that. I know it’s sorta stupid.” 
Arvin shook his head, putting his hands on his hips, “If it means somethin’ to you, it ain’t stupid at all. Besides, now that you pointed it out, it was a little barbaric.” 
You smiled up at him, one which he returned. How was this boy so damn nice? Was this some cosmic way of the universe finally giving you something good in your life? You’d become so calloused to your father’s harsh words and barked commands that you had forgotten how nice it was to feel cared about and validated. And you barely knew him. 
“‘M glad you think so.” You looked down at Patty in your arms and any good feelings you’d had melted to sadness and fear. “You been a good girl, Patty. I know you struggled with layin’ eggs for a while but you were always a good girl. Never bit me once unlike some of them other hens.” You weren’t often very soft and vulnerable but you were about to take something’s life for the first time and you couldn’t help but feel the weight of that on your heart. If this were a life or death situation, you would feel better about it, but it wasn’t. The only reason Patty had to die was because your father would throw a fit if she didn’t. 
You carried her to the log and gave her a little kiss on the top of the head, “Please don’t hate me but I understand if you do. Say hi to my momma for me, will you? Tell her I love and miss her.” You set her down and got her in the position you always saw your dad put the other chickens in before he chopped their heads off. Arvin handed you the axe with uncertainty but watched on as you struggled to bring yourself to finish the deed. 
You held her down and you could tell by the way she was flailing that she was panicking now. Patty was well aware of what was happening. “I’m sorry!” You choked, tears welling up in your eyes as her panic began to turn into your own panic. How did people do this? Why was this so freaking difficult? 
Tossing the axe slightly in your hand, you readjusted the handle and just as you went to swing, Arvin piped up, “I can do it.” 
You looked over at him, the afternoon sun reflecting the tears in your eyes and making the color of your irises stand out in tragic beauty. “I-I- Would you really not mind?” You breathed out in relief. 
Arvin stepped forward and you handed the axe out to him, “I don’t mind.” You held onto Patty until Arvin could position her just right as well. He had no idea what he was doing - he’d never had to slaughter a chicken before. He had heard that all you had to do was cut their head off though and then he’d heard the rumors of them running around like crazy even after their head hit the ground. How hard could it be? 
Once he had the hen pinned down where he wanted her, he looked up to see you chewing on your thumb, brows knitted in discomfort. It wasn’t the first chicken you’d watched get slaughtered but it was far from something you enjoyed observing. Arvin signaled to you with a nod before raising the axe above his head and you shut your eyes tight, flinching at the sound of the old metal head thudding into the old wood. 
**
You had the carcass sitting in the sink while you pulled off the blood soaked feathers, depositing them into the trash bin by the handful. This part was easier for you, something you’d done many times in the past. “Thank you for doin’ that. I’m sorry I’m such a baby.” 
Arvin sat at the kitchen table behind you, “You ain’t a baby just cause you don’t like to kill things. I’d say it’s probably rather normal.” 
The time was inching closer to four o’clock now and the sun was beginning to hang ever so slightly lower in the sky, the precursor to sunset. It was warm outside and a cool spring breeze blew in through the open window above the sink. You snickered as you pulled another handful of feathers out, “Yeah? That mean you ain’t normal?” You looked over at him with a playful glint in your eye but your smile fell when you saw an uncomfortable look cross his face, almost like he’d seen a ghost. 
“I ain’t never said I liked killin’ either.” Arvin attempted to match your joking tone but it was pretty evident there was a weight behind his words. 
“Hey, I‘m sorry. I was only jokin’.” A pang of guilt washed over you but it was only that. A joke. You hadn’t imagined teasing him over something like killing a chicken would set him off, especially since he volunteered to do it for you, but apparently you were wrong. 
Arvin sniffed and scratched his nose, “I know.” After a moment of awkward silence, he stood, “Let me give you a hand. What do you need done?” 
You scanned his face once more to make sure he was really okay but you decided to drop it when you saw his insistent look. You shook your head, “I got it. It ain’t much after I get this all gutted and cleaned.” You picked up the mostly featherless carcass by the wings and plopped it back down into the sink. 
“Well ‘m sure there’s vegetables or somethin’ else that goes with it, right? Let me start cuttin’ those up.” His persistence was adorable, making your heart flutter in the most wonderful way. The idea of a man actually being helpful was unknown to you before Arvin. Your life had been filled with your dad’s drunken bossings since you were twelve years old. You couldn’t remember the last time a genuinely kind voice offered you anything more than a smile on the street, not that you took that for granted. Arvin was just different though. Noble and helpful and kind. 
“You really don’t have to-” 
“Yeah, you keep sayin’ that but I really do want to help. So what can I do to make things easier on you?” He took a few steps closer to you until you felt the beginning of what could have been sparks if he stepped any nearer, like when you hold two magnets a few inches apart and you can feel the energy between them, that hint of attraction, but it’s not quite close enough to pull them together. 
The blush in your cheeks at his simple gesture made you break the eye contact with a nervous laugh of retreat, “Okay, fine. If you’re gonna be so insistent,” you drew out with a teasing drawl, “you can cut up veggies. There’s potatoes over there and carrots and zucchini in the fridge.” 
Arvin’s lips turned up in a small smile when you finally resigned your stubborn ways and he went off to find the vegetables where you had directed him. 
Needless to say, when your father came home from the bar to find you and Arvin talking over a song by the Platters playing on the radio with Arvin cleaning up the dishes while you tossed together the vegetables and the seasoning, he was less than pleased. 
“What the hell is going on here?” His slurred speech made your eyes widen in fear. He was supposed to get home later like he always did. But then you found yourself chiding your irresponsibility. Why the hell would you take that chance? You knew better than to let Arvin help out and now you were gonna pay. 
Arvin sensed the way you tensed up beside him and watched as you spun around to face your father with haste, “Just finishin’ up dinner now. Should be ready by six so you got more than enough time to take a sho-” 
“Why the fuck is he doin’ the dishes?” You father was leaning against the wall, clearly relying on the structure for support. This wasn’t the time to test him, not with Arvin here. It was times like this when he’d start throwing stuff at you. 
Before you could say anything, Arvin piped up firmly but respectfully, “I offered, sir. It’s no problem at all.” 
Your dad pointed at Arvin, “A man ain’t got no place with his hands in a sink of dishes. You leave that shit to her and she’ll just grab you a beer.” He stumbled over his own feet before catching himself ungracefully. 
Arvin’s jaw set tightly and you gripped the countertop with white knuckles behind you. Times like this, you weren’t even sure what to say anymore. No amount of standing up for yourself got you anywhere with him. You never made any headway with your dad’s sexist views on gender roles. It was pointless. The only thing to do was try and work your way to supporting yourself so you could get the hell out of dodge and never look back. 
Arvin’s voice surprised you, “A man’s place is helpin’ out the women in his life when they need, not leavin’ ‘em to do all the housework themselves.” You nearly choked on your own tongue at his words. It was a bold statement for a man to make, especially to the head of the house that was being so gracious as to host him free of charge, but he didn’t back down. It appeared like the jab was lost on your drunken father but Arvin continued with a slightly less accusatory comment to diffuse the situation regardless, “I grew up helpin’ my grandma with all the house chores so I really don’t mind at all.” 
You watched the way your dad eyed Arvin and then you before scoffing and grumbling incoherently as he shuffled his way into the living room. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “I don’t want you gettin’ kicked out ‘cause of me. You didn’t have to say nothin’.” 
Arvin glared at where your father had disappeared and nodded, “Yeah, I did. You don’t deserve all the shit he gives you.” 
You suddenly found yourself avoiding his eyes and twisting your lips. He was right and you were well aware of that fact. The abuse your dad put you through was uncalled for at best. The fact that Arvin had actually taken the time to not only notice the same fact but acknowledge it and stand up for you was something you never thought you’d hear someone do. It made you uncomfortable. You’d been fighting this battle by yourself for so long that letting somebody even know it was being waged was enough to make you want to sink away. Even so, a part of you wanted to let Arvin keep standing up for you. It made you feel weak after having to stand up for yourself for so long but also validated. 
Your eyes flicked up to meet his for only a moment before turning back towards dinner that sat in a roasting pan on the stove, “Thank you.” 
______
Taglist: 
@thisisparadisemylove
@justapurrcat
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beomglocks · 4 years
Text
colors ; k.th
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part of the badlands series!
colors: “you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece.”
based off halsey’s badlands album.
warnings and other: museum curator!taehyun, old money!y/n, mentions of depression and grass smoking, little bit of angst i guess??
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taehyun sighed as he took down the 11th painting this week. the museum hadn't been very busy in the past couple of weeks, maybe because the weather was getting colder. one part of him figured that many people just wanted to be bundled up at home watching holiday themed movies and drinking warm drinks rather than appreciating enchanting artworks.
he couldn't fool himself though, he knew the truth. today's generation didn't care about the fine arts anymore. a shame, seeing as everything around them seemed to be inspired by it.
kang taehyun worked at his local museum. he had been offered the position by the owner one night while roaming the place. this should've been a red flag looking back. the owner seemed desperate for someone to fill in the position since the previous employee had left without notice. nonetheless, taehyun took the job and didn't regret it one bit.
open 24/7, the red haired boy was always working on the clock. not that there was much to do seeing as most of the people his age or even a bit older didn't hang around museums purely for the joy of it. actually, his only job was to exhibit the newly arrived collections, clean and dust them off, and conduct regular tours and workshops for the public. due to this and the fact that not many people even came by he would take regular breaks.
once in a while you'd see the occasional old person or art expertee roaming around the small museum. if you were lucky, you'd see the local edgy teens posing next to a piece they didn't understand just to get an aesthetic picture. taehyun would also have the unfortunate job of shooing them away or scolding them for getting just a bit too close.
recently his boss, who was the museum manager and maybe the only other person besides taehyun that worked there, had informed him that due to funds and unfortunate unforeseen events, the museum would be closing down in about a month from now. this caused taehyun to fall deep into a depression since this was his only job and he loved it here. the museum was like his second home. he found comfort in the silent images displayed throughout the building. they always told him a story and when new pieces came in he would sit and stare attentively at the new anecdote being told to him.
taehyun smiled sadly at the piece he had just taken down. it was a painting of 2 people kissing however both of their faces were covered by white cloths. this was his favorite and he didn't even have a clue as to why. probably because of the uncertainty of what the other was feeling or because of the fact that the other couldn't see each other's faces through the cloth, that would've made the kiss more exciting in his opinion.
he stepped out of the museum and into the frosty air of the outside world. it was only autumn so why was it so cold? he thought to himself. he discreetly pulled out a prerolled blunt and his white lighter from his pocket. he lit it and stuck in between his slightly chapped lips.
maybe smoking dope wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, especially for a boy so young, barely 19, but it helped taehyun get his mind off the inevitably of losing his job and being homeless for the winter. he shuttered at the thought. he would have to room with one of his friends, he sighed shaking his head. no, he didn't want to be a burden, yeonjun had helped him enough as it is.
he looked at his surroundings taking in the cold autumn afternoon. the trees had long lost their leaves and were bare. the sky was a murky gray color as if it were threatening to rain any time soon. he noticed a girl bundled up in winter clothes near the entrance of the building glance at him. he smiled at her and she jumped at the eye contact, thinking that he wouldn't catch her. taehyun chuckled as he watched her rush into the museum. "back to work," he said out loud to himself.
once the blunt had been almost gone, he smoked what was left of it and headed back into the empty museum. he was feeling light-headed, the effects of the blunt finally taking action, but taehyun was used to it so it barely affected him as much.
he made his way to the girl who was now starting to take off her jacket and scarf. taehyun tapped on the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "hi," he smiled at the girl, showing off his dazzling smile. "if you'd like, i could give you a tour of the museum." well what's left of it anyways, he thought to himself.
"oh...no thank you," said the girl. she smiled warmly at the worker. "well not to be invasive of your decision but it's sort of in my job description," taehyun replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. the girl sighed in defeat, "i guess i have no choice then."
taehyun laughed as he took her coat and scarf to hang up in the public closet, "yep, trust me. they say im not that bad of a tour guide, im quite fun to be around if i do say so myself. i promise not to bore you too much." the girl nodded, not entirely convinced. "if i do end up bored i will hold you accountable..." she took a moment to take a peek at taehyun's name tag, "kang taehyun," she joked.
as they walked through the museum the girl couldn't help but notice that it was fairly empty. "why are there almost no paintings in here?" she laughed hesitantly. "i thought this was a museum?" taehyun stopped walking, turning to her with a sad expression on his face.
"the museum is expected to close in about a month or so," he stated simply. "oh...that's terrible. may i ask why?" the girl responded. "my boss says we've run out of funds or something like that," taehyun chuckled bitterly. "people don't really give a shit about good art these days anyways."
"that's a shame..."
they continued to look through the various paintings that were still up and occasionally the girl would ask to see the ones that were taken down and left on the floor. it seemed the two were lost in each other's company as night started to approach.
"thank you for the tour of this lovely museum taehyun. it was fun but it's a shame such a nice museum like this is closing down," the girl said softly. taehyun nodded solemnly, he just wanted to get this day over with and crash at his apartment. he didn't blame the girl before him but talking to her reminded him of his harsh reality. a notification coming from the girl's bag made both of them jump as they were both lost in their thoughts.
"ah, that must be my father. he's kind of annoying when it comes to my curfew," she chuckled, digging her phone from her bag. taehyun watched her with a bored expression until his eyes reached her bag. he hadn't noticed this earlier but she had been carrying a louis vuitton bag. his eyes bulged at the expensive item that was so close to him, they got even larger when she fished out the latest iphone from it.
taehyun wasn't poor per se, he had just enough to get by since he was living paycheck to paycheck. however, he had never been in such close proximity to any luxury items. he suddenly felt weird being this close to this girl.
"what do you mean by curfew?" taehyun asks hesitantly. the girl sighs, "my father is one of south korea's richest chaebol's, maybe one of the big three at his point." she rolled her eyes as if this information was nothing. "he's super strict with me because i guess i'm just his show pony daughter whom he can show off to say he's a good father."
taehyun gulped, had he just been casually hanging out with the daughter of one of the richest men in korea? he felt sick at this. she looked up at taehyun's uneasy expression, "oh my god im sorry i just dumped that all on you! i just needed to catch a break so i came here, i didn't mean to drag you into my life story."
taehyun fixes his face, laughing nervously, "no- no its fine really. we all need a break sometimes right? im glad you got to have that time here." the girl smiled up at him, completely misreading his nervous laughter, "im glad i got to spend it here with you taehyun."
"oh before i go!" taehyun watched her pull out a checkbook from her bag and his stomach dropped. he silently watched her scribble some stuff onto the slip and tear it out, handing it to him.
"there's not too much i can take out of my account without my father flipping out but i hope this helps even just a little. whether it be in your personal life or with the museum."
taehyun eyes the check and chokes when he sees 50,000 dollars written neatly on the black line. he swears he can feel sweat going down his face like in the cartoons. "i- i cant possibly take this from you." he moves to hand the check back but the girl refuses to take it back. "taehyun, you love this museum with your entire being. i see the way to look at the paintings and the passion with which you explained them to me. i'd hate to see that taken away."
"plus, if you're gone who's gonna give me the tour when i come back?" she laughs as if this is something casual. taehyun's hands shake as he pockets the check, "i seriously cannot thank you enough...you don't know how much you just helped the museum and m-"
the girls phone dings again and she grumbles, "ugh why can't he just leave me alone. sorry but i think i really gotta go for real before he tracks my location or something crazy like that."
taehyun nods wistfully at the mention of her having to leave. he was really starting to enjoy her company.
"oh by the way," the girl giggles as she pulls her coat on hurriedly.  "was that you smoking weed at the corner of the museum earlier?" the girl chuckled to herself again just remembering it. taehyun furrowed his eyebrows, "why would you say that kind of thing at out loud and at my job?!" he scolded in a playful hushed voice.
"i just thought it was funny and you also smelled of weed the entire tour, i didn't mind though so don't worry," the girl concluded. she was starting to walk away towards out the door now. "i'll walk you out," taehyun offers. "such a helpful employee. is this in the job description too?" the girl jokes, turning to him while a smile on her lips. "well, not exactly," taehyun says smoothly.
she shakes her head, "i'll see you soon taehyun." he watches her walk off into the darkness of the night when he suddenly remembers something.
"hey what's your name by the way?" he shouts after the girl. for some reason taehyun really was hopeful of seeing her again.
"y/n!" came the disembodied voice of the girl he had just met.
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sopeyb23-blog · 4 years
Text
Love Language
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*not my Gif
*I do not own any CM characters
Summary: reader thinks about how their relationship with Spencer  has evolved through touch!
Warnings: talk of past drug use, crying, angst i guess, but mostly fluff
word count: 2.2 K
A/N: this was pretty fun to write, it is mostly little flashback scenes and I love doing those. I did this after seeing  @veraiconcos​‘s writers challenge and thought that was super cool, all of her things are amazing so definitely check out her blog!
enjoy!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Spencer Reid's love language was never touch. I suppose the burden of all his knowledge is knowing exactly the amount of germs passed by a single touch, and which of those germs are alive, and which could get him sick, and which sickness could take root, and, well you get the point. When I first started at the BAU Spencer still seemed to me like a shy little kid. We were the same age, I like to tell him at least once a day, I'm actually a full month older than him. I think that's one of the many reasons that him and I became friends so fast. My first friend was of course, JJ. After all she is very close in age to me and Spencer, and is one of the first contacts I had with the BAU. She told me before I had met any of the team, that Spencer was, well, different. She made sure to warn me that he doesn't mean anything by his little actions of avoidness. It's just his way of keeping himself safe. This I understood. 
The first time I was formally introduced to the team was much before I joined. The interview process is understandably long, they need to know a person before just throwing them in. After all, these people spend more time together working cases then they do in their own homes. -
“Hi, i’m Y/N , the new agent here” I shook the hands of everyone on the team but Spencers, remembering what JJ had told me. To him I smiled and gave a little wave.
“The number of pathogens that can be passed from a-” Spencer after seeing me wave to him began to do just what I suspected. When confronted with an uncomfortable situation, he began to hide behind his wall of facts.
“It's actually much safer to kiss” I continued for him and the look on his face was priceless.
“Yeah, yes, exactly.” A rose colored blush crept up onto his cheeks as he smiled at me.
“Oh great, now there's two of them” Morgan laughed at us before JJ pulled them away for another case.
The first time I saw someone actually touch Reid was when they returned home from the Tobias Hankle case. It hurt me to see Spencer (now my friend of almost four months) so absolutely traumatized. He would never say this to me or anyone else for that matter, but even at the time he came home, he was still feeling the effects of the drugs he was given.-
“Here they come, here they come” Anderson walked over to me as the team approached the glass doors of the BAU. I was surprised to see that Spencer was with them. I had assumed they would have taken him straight home, or maybe to the hospital.
“Welcome back, I'm glad you're alive, Reid,”  he barely opened his eyes and nodded at me before sitting down in his desk chair. I waved JJ over to me.
“How bad?” she sighed and gave me the classic worried mom look we always tease her for.
“Very. I didn't think I would ever see him like this”
“Im so sorry JJ. do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Honestly, I don't know, but i'm going to drive him home, maybe if i'm lucky I can convince him to let me take him to the hospital. I'll call you, okay?”
It worried me even more to know that JJ too, was aware of how badly he was hurt. She turned her back to me and grabbed her coat from her office before going to Spencer's desk. From where I was standing I could just barely make out what she was saying.
“Spence, come on, let's get you out of here”
“JJ I have paperwork to do” he sounded dazed, like he wasn't really sure where he was.
“Its okay Spence, I’m sure Morgan wouldn't mind a few extra” 
She gingerly took the files from his hand and helped him sling his satchel over his shoulder. Then, it happened. As they walked out of the room he stumbled. Just a little. Barely enough for anyone else to notice, but I was watching the two of them so carefully as they left I couldn't help but take an involuntary step towards them. JJ took a firm hold of his arm, and put her other free hand on his back. I could see him flinch for just a second, and then, his body relaxed into her and he let her guide him from the room.
After that night I became a full member of the team. Spencer didn't take any time off. He never went to the hospital, although Penn, JJ, and I tried countless times to get him to. After that night when he let JJ help him, when he let her touch him, he never seemed to be overly bothered by a handshake every once and awhile. The first time I touched him was still a while after that, I think my 15th case in the field. -
“Spencer it wasn't your fault.” He looked at me through his black rimmed glasses with a sad and blank expression.
“Then why would he address it to me?”  this whole case I knew something was wrong. After Gideon had not shown the first time, JJ told me that he had resigned, but at that point Spence still hadn't told anyone about the letter.
“Because he knew that you needed to hear the news from him. Not from JJ, or me, or Hotch, or anyone else. There's nothing you could have done to convince him to stay Spence, he's even more stubborn than you are”
I paused to observe him in the dark silence of the jet. I brought my hand to his arm tentatively but when he relaxed and seemed comfortable with the touch, I gave it a little squeeze and smiled at him. -
Now, after Gideon had left I knew it. I had a crush on Spencer Reid. This came as no surprise at all to JJ or Penelope, but to me, it was quite the shock. He had now become comfortable with the little touches of assurance that I gave him often. More comfortable even than with JJ or Morgan. Sometimes I noticed he would even reciprocate the gesture. When he noticed I was tired or stressed or just having a bad day, he would put a hand on the crook of my elbow and give it a little squeeze. Just like I did that night on the jet. To other people this seems like nothing. But to me, and to him as well, this was everything. 
When Spencer stayed in Vegas to investigate his father, JJ left. JJ as Spence and I’s best friend, is always a source of comfort and a safe haven in the stormy darkness that is our lives. When she left she pulled me aside away from Spencer and put a hand on her swollen belly. -
“ Y/N , I need to take care of Spence for me, okay?” I chuckled.
“JJ, of course, what do you think I’m here to do?” she looked at me with a deadpan stare.
“That's not what I mean. You know what was happening with him after Tobias right?” I nodded, the memories of his mood flashes, and anger, and sadness all coming to the forefront of my mind.
“he‘s going to need you to make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid. Not Morgan, not Rossi, not Hotch, you. You are the only person on this team- in this world-. That he trusts right now. And you are the only person that could talk him off of that ledge.”
“I promise, JJ. I’ll keep him safe” She nodded at me but the worried expression on her face remained. -
JJ was worried for good reason as it turned out. I kept a close eye on Spencer as we looked into his past. The boys were all there to focus on the case. To solve what was in front of them. I was there more to focus on Spencer. There was one night. The night after we found his father, something in my brain just told me it was not going to be a good night for him. There was something in the coloring of his face, the way his posture was collapsed and the circles around his eyes were so dark, it told me all that I needed to know. -
I walked out into the hallway of our hotel and stopped in front of Spencer's door. The others were all asleep, and it was nearing one in the morning. But something told me that he needed my help right now. JJ’s voice in the back of my head reminded me that I needed to help him, I was the only one who could help him. I knocked three times on his door softly. I waited a minute before knocking again, with a little more force, and I heard some shuffling in the room before the door opened.
“ Y/N? What are you doing?” I walked inside the room without an invitation and sat down on the foot of his bed. The sheets were undisturbed and he was still in his work clothes though the tie was draped over a chair in the corner and his shoes were by the door.
“Talk to me” I looked up from my hands and continued.
“I don't mean, about the case, or your dad. I mean about you. I need you to convince me that you are okay”
“Who says I'm not?”  I rolled my eyes at him and gestured to the chair across from me.
“I do. And as one of your best friends, your closest colleague, and someone who likes you, a lot. I think that should mean something to you” the last part slipped out a little fast and completely without me thinking of the repercussions.
“You like me?” he gave a faint smile that I could only partially see in the dimly lit hotel room.
“Yes, but that's not the point right now, we’re talking about you not me '' I brushed off his comment but I couldn't help the smile and blush that came across on my face.
“Im struggling” his voice broke a little when he said it and it broke my heart to see him in such pain. 
I walked over to the chair he was sitting in and pulled him up by the hand.
“I'm going to hug you now. Is that okay?”
His partial nod was good enough for me. -
I got him through that night. I talked him off the ledge that JJ had warned me of. And she was right. I was the only one who could have done that. When we came back from Las Vegas, although neither of us had said a word, something changed between us. We were more than just friends now, we both knew that, but beyond that, we weren't really sure what we were. He would call me when he needed someone to talk him down, I would call him when I needed someone to talk me down. I would show up at his apartment any hour of the day to help him, and I knew that he would do the same. One of those nights when it just so happened that the both of us needed a little talking down after a hard case, I drove myself over to his apartment to find him on the couch crying.
To see him crying was something that my tired, and broken heart couldn't take. I threw myself next to him on the couch and pulled him into a hug, no questions asked.
“I needed that.” I said as soon as I lifted my head from his shoulder. 
“Me too” we were both still crying, but there was something about the atmosphere that had changed. We weren’t alone anymore. We spent hours like that, sitting there, my head on his shoulder, his arm around my back, not saying a word, just collecting ourselves as best we could. At some point in the night I looked over at the clock: 2:45 am
He looked to the clock as well and then over to me, and with a single tear streaming down his face he looked at me and said,
“If I asked you to stay, would you?” I wiped the tear from his cheek.
“You don't even need to ask”  he brought both of his hands to my cheek and pulled me into what I think is the most passionate kiss I have ever received.
That night told us both what we had become. It was no longer little arm touches or calls in the middle of the night. It was waking up to him beside me, seeing his hair ruffled from sleep and his eyes clouded by exhaustion. It was the little worried kisses he gave me in the field and the little squeal of happiness that Penelope made when I told her we were moving in together. 
When I first met Spencer I wondered to myself if he would ever be comfortable with touch. But now as his sleeping body lays next to me and instinctually pulls me in closer, I know that there was never any reason to worry. Because even before, when the most contact I would get was arm touches in the midst of a panic, it was enough. It helped me learn that although not everyone wants or shows grand gestures. There are other ways, sometimes even better ways to say, I love you.
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teyvattherapist · 3 years
Note
Another one, set directly after the one where Sandrone finds Childe~ :)
-
Sandrone-- by a feat of miracle-- snuck Ajax into his Academy room and squirreled the boy away into the cramped bathroom while he snuck into the infirmary again to retrieve a first aid kit. When he returned, Ajax had stripped off his coat and scarf, leaving him in a shirt that was more holes than fabric and his bloodstained shorts. Wordlessly, Sandrone handed him an energy bar he'd swiped from the cafeteria and wetted a towel, rubbing away the dirt and grime that layered Ajax like a second skin. As the dirt washed away, the wounds were brought into stark relief. Hundreds of them, layered over each other and crisscrossing Ajax's skin like gaping mouths. Some were fully healed, nothing but thin, silvery lines. Others were an angry red and purple, bruised and swollen around the edges. All had clean cuts, suggesting an expert hand behind the blade. "Who did this?" Sandrone asked. He wasn't really expecting an honest answer, anyway. But Ajax was always one to surprise him. "The Abyss. I fell into a hole in the ground, and I was taken away to somewhere." "Was it scary?" Sandrone didn't look up from his ministrations, choosing to focus on the mangled mess that was Ajax's knees (how hard did he fall?) "It was," Ajax sighed dreamily. "But the things I saw down there... it spoke to me. The Abyss spoke to me, Sulien. It told me things that scared the everloving hell out of me, but I'm grateful to them." "Why?" Sandrone finally looked up. There were a hundred questions packed into that one word. Why are you still alright? Why are you thanking the Abyss? Why do you sound so different?
And from the bloodied fragments of Ajax's face, the eye of the Abyss stared back at him, milky and purple. Ajax smiled, a pristine tear in the mangled visage of a beast rebuilt from the ground up. "So I can protect you."
IM SCREAMING, ALMOND, THIS IS
KJFDSKJDFS??
SULIEN BEING A SNEAKY LIL SHIT IS SO TRUE, THAT'S JUST HOW HE WAS-
BUT THE SO I CAN PROTECT YOU?? SO I CAN PROTECT YOU!! OH MY GOSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. THE ?? JFDDF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!! I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW THE LOFE, BUT THAT FITS SO WELL IM SCREAMING
as promised. Part two of Desiderium under the cut.
Another nightmare, another sleepless night. This nightmare was real though, it wasn’t like his usual ones, the ones where he was bound by chains and forced to- No, he didn’t want to think about those. His mind wandered to the latest one. He had given thought to Zhongli’s words, he was longing for somebody. But who? The God had never brought it up again, so he didn’t know. It had to be Lumine right? She was pretty, sure. Strong, good with a sword, her eyes were a nice shade of gold. But something still felt off.
He needed to take a walk.. He stopped when he reached the living room, blinking at.. Lumine? Asleep on his couch? The blonde stirred and pushed herself up some, blanket falling around her shoulders. “Sandrone? Ah- your mask- I- Sorry.” She averted her eyes and Sulien realised he wasn’t wearing his mask. This was his house! Of course he wasn’t wearing his mask. He cleared his throat.
“I thought I heard voices.” Ajax commented from the hallway, hair messier than ever from sleep. “I hope it's alright I invited Lumine to stay with us while she’s in Liyue Harbour. It's closer than the inn.” Ajax explained, seeing the panicked body language only he could understand on his fellow harbinger made him feel bad that he forgot to bring it up. Paimon snored away on the armchair, clearly unbothered by it all.
Without his mask, without his gloves, his scars and face on display. He felt uncomfortable. Incredibly uncomfortable. “I’m going for a walk.” Sulien pivoted and made a beeline for the entrance. Lumine rubbed her sleep riddled eyes, a small yawn escaping her as she looked up at Ajax who was busy staring at the archway into the entrance.
The door slammed shut.
“I’ve only known him for a month or so but,” she yawned, “I take it this is abnormal?” She sat up properly, tightening the blanket around her though. Liyue evenings could get quite cold. Ajax nodded his head in response to her question. Abnormal indeed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen such an influx of emotion. Perhaps when they were kids? That was probably it.
Sulien breathed in the fresh air, late at night, he didn’t need his mask, he didn’t need to be his rank. He could just be another nameless person in the streets, he preferred it this way. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants as he walked down the streets. Very few people were out and about so late at night, but he enjoyed watching them. A ghost of a smile on his lips as he watched lovers enjoying a late night getaway or a tired sailor returning home late.
But despite his usual late night activity that often cleared his mind, his mind began to fog once more. Trailing back to his dream, it wasn’t even that bad, especially compared to the usual ones. But being abandoned in a dream, he supposed, tied into the feelings he had been having recently. The stabbing pain in his poor heart, the squeezing of his lungs, stripping his body of blood and air.
There was no way it was about Lumine though. He didn’t feel anything when he looked at her except the pain, there was nothing underneath. He sighed, finding himself at the docks. He looked out on the dark water, lilac eyes searching the depths for answers. He furrowed his brows, all he could think of when he looked at the water, all he was reminded of.. Just one thing.
Ajax.
Sulien shook his head, no, he shouldn’t think of Ajax of all people. He couldn’t, that wasn’t allowed as far as he was aware. Well no relationship was allowed in general, he was their puppet after all, he couldn’t have any strings except to Her. But still.. This seemed somehow worse. His heart lurched at the thought and he hissed in pain, bringing his hand up to his chest, scarred fingers digging into the black fabric of his shirt.
All the books he had read, all the research he did. None of it had any answers for this. And he wondered why he felt wrong. Sulien sighed, sitting on the edge of the docks, legs dangling above the water. Ajax seemed happy with Lumine either way, right? They were much cuter together. Sulien never really belonged anyways, an outsider looking in on everybody else. He sighed, leaning back on his arms.
There were footsteps on the dock behind him and he tensed his body, ice already forming in his fingers. Then the familiar scent of cologne hit him and he watched as Ajax sat down on the docks beside him, wrapped up in Sulien’s coat of all things. Sulien’s heart hurt and he looked out at the water, it was becoming so frequent that it was more of a dull ache. Ajax deserved better than him, better than some man who couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“Talk to me.” Ajax whispered, dull eyes trained on the ocean. “You’re hurting and I want to be there this time.. I wasn’t.. I wasn’t last time.” The man hesitated, pulling one knee up and rested his arm against it. Sulien wished nothing more than for the waves to take him away, drown him until there was nothing left. He could not tell the man beside him how he felt, it was wrong. It wasn’t fair.
“I’m just sick, I’ll be fine.” Sulien manipulated his voice so he sounded more hoarse, as if to hammer in the point that it was nothing more than some freak illness. “We have field work tomorrow, you should go back home and sleep. I’ll walk you back.” Sulien stood and Ajax slowly followed him. But before Sulien could head off the docks, Ajax grabbed his elbow, stopping him.
“Please talk to me when you feel ready.” Sulien merely smiled, one of the ones that Ajax knew was fake and full of lies. But the ginger accepted it in the moment.
-
Sulien sighed as he summoned his claymore, flipping the massive weapon in one hand. The conversation from the day before played in his head, over and over. But he had work to do now. Why did Ajax care? What did he mean when he said he wasn’t there last time? Sulien swung his weapon, the frostbitten blade slicing clean through the arm of the Ruin Guard. He didn’t expect to be smacked by the automaton’s other arm, he barely protected himself with a wall of ice.
“Sandrone, pay attention!” Ajax called, utterly confused on why his colleague was so lost in thought. Ajax ripped apart his bow, the hydro blades forming as he slashed at the ruin guard. It was a simple side mission, really. Destroy the ruin guard near the skirmisher camp. Easy peasy between the two of them. Hell even alone, just one of them probably could have done it. But it was rare they both were allowed into the field together.
Sulien froze the ruin guard and Ajax’s daggers turned back into his bow, he nocked an arrow and drew his string back. Right through the core, bullseye. “Alright that’s that!” Ajax’s bow dematerialised as the automaton fell. There was a whirring nearby and Sulien narrowed his eyes, Ajax didn’t seem to hear it. But he did.
A wall of ice protected Ajax from the incoming missiles of another automaton. Sulien barely dodged the drill of a ruin hunter. Why were there so many all of a sudden? Ajax easily flipped out of the way of the hit of the ruin guard that had attacked him, sliding back to where he had been when fighting the first one. His bow appeared in his hand and he got into position again. “Tartaglia! How many did the Skirmishers report?” Sulien questioned as blocked an attack with his claymore.
His arms shook as the hunter tried to keep cutting downwards with its long sword-like attachment. He had to yield, ducking underneath it. Ajax bent down on his perch, pointing his bow upwards he released multiple hydro arrows into the air. “They only reported one ruin guard! There was no mention of multiples, let alone a hunter.” Ajax called back as another hydro arrow appeared between his fingers.
Now underneath it the ruin hunter decided this was the time to use lasers. Sulien barely constructed the dome around himself in time, manipulating the frost in the air and creating a solid ice dome. A fourth automaton had Ajax seething, how in the hell did their subordinates miss this? When the one he had been fighting slammed its hand onto Ajax’s perch he used its arm as a bridge, bow turning into a polearm.
The ice around Sulien melted but before he could react a second ruin hunter was slamming into him, sending him flying backwards. “Sulien! Careful!” Ajax called, stabbing his polearm into the core of the ruin guard. Sulien got back up, dodging out of the way of one of the hunters. He ran for his claymore, weaving between various attacks as quickly as he could while Ajax struggled with the ruin guard.
Sulien picked his claymore back up and adjusted his grip on the weapon, he slashed at the legs of the ruin guard Ajax was battling, sending the automaton to the ground, the whirring of its body stopping. Two ruin hunters left- Sulien turned around and was faced with three. What in the world- “Something is summoning them here, Tartaglia. This is abnormal.” Sulien adjusted his grip on his blade, peering through the new crack in his mask. He’d have to fix it again.
A bright light beside him blinded him and Sulien hissed as he turned away from Ajax. He didn’t really have time to focus on the transformation as he shielded the both of them from the incoming missiles. A wall of ice reinforced with vines splintered and exploded, the shards turning into snowflakes as they fell from it. At least the wall had lasted against the missiles.
While Sulien thoroughly distracted one of the ruin hunters, Ajax focused on the other two, he brought his hand down, summoning multiple thunderbolts onto one of the ruin hunters, causing it to collapse to the ground, stunned from the electricity. His bow turned into a water spear as he dashed forward, the water from his weapon spraying the automaton, thoroughly frying it. Sulien’s claymore became encased in ice once more, and the ruin hunter he had to deal with was down for the count.
Ajax turned his attention to the last ruin hunter, turning in time to watch the missiles coming at him. He used his ability to blink, reappearing closer toSulien who was looking worse for wear quite frankly. Ajax lunged forward once more, a wheel of electrified water surrounding the ruin hunter, tightening on it. Sulien stepped forward, releasing a blast of ice that froze the machine, causing it to fall from its awkward frozen position, shattering upon contact on the ground. Ajax was beaming, still in his Abyss form but he let himself actually touch the ground rather than float and he turned towards Sulien.
Sulien's claymore dug into the stone and he used it to keep himself up. Ajax closed the distance between them, his weapon floating beside him. Sulien collapsed onto his knees, the large weapon giving out underneath his weight and clattering to the stone floor of the ruin. Funny.. This didn't hurt as much as the heart problems had been hurting.. Life was funny that way. "Hey, hey what happened?" Ajax shifted back, he was exhausted from the fight and using foul legacy. His eyes trailed down to where Sulien's hand was pressed against his side. Ajax gripped the man's hand, pulling it back. The dark green of his palm stained even darker.
"The ruin hunter hit me." Sulien's head hung low, the mask he wore finally giving out, falling to the stone floor, the crack that had started to form fully breaking through the fragile mask. Ajax wished that Sulien didn't look so void, maybe it could help him assess the extent of the wound. Ajax helped Sulien out of the coat he wore, discarding the heavy material onto the ground. The touch was electrifying to Sulien, whose heart only clenched more. So many things unsaid.. But even now, he figured, he didn't deserve the right to say them.
Ajax pulled the man's shirt up, inspecting the wound. It was bad. Really bad. Sulien didn't even flinch when the man used his hydro vision to try and get rid of some of the blood to see better. "I never wanted this." Sulien mumbled as he stared up at the sky. Yes that much was true, Sulien never wanted to be on the battlefield. He was not a warrior. At one time he wanted to be a scholar, he wanted to teach. All of that ripped away with his memories. This was the end Ajax wanted, surrounded by bodies on the battlefield. Ajax ripped the banner he wore, pressing the fabric against the wound.
"Sulien, keep your eyes open, okay? I'll get you help." Would he be strong enough to carry Sulien and his weapon all the way back to Liyue Harbour? Sulien laughed, it was bitter though and it made Ajax's heart hurt. They both had so many things left unsaid. Ajax grunted as he lifted Sulien, the man hadn't listened. Though, when did he ever listen, Ajax mused. The harbinger had to use foul legacy again, there was no way he'd be able to get from the ruins all the way back to the harbour. The warm blood on his hands made the decision for him.
The stares he got as he moved through Liyue Harbour meant nothing to him, he kept Sulien's coat over the man in question, shielding his face and wound from the general public. The claymore in his free hand as he quickly moved through the streets. There were so many things Ajax hadn't said, so many things he felt, so many things he wanted to do. He gripped the man in his arm tighter.
Ajax kicked the door open, much to the surprise of Zhongli and his guests who watched as the large abyssal creature ducked to get through the doorway. Ajax dropped the claymore in the entrance way, letting the weapon clatter to the ground. He then shifted back, all but falling to his knees, Sulien’s still body rolling from his arms. Ajax slammed his hand into the ground as he tried to push himself back up.
“Help, help him please.” But he found himself unable to get up, breathing too unsteady, his own wounds catching up with him as the adrenalin was all but gone. Zhongli dropped his teacup, moving quickly he picked up Sulien, bringing him further into the house. At least Ajax could rest now, leaning his head against the hallway wall.
“Lumine, go get Baizhu please. Paimon, could you bring me the medical kit from the kitchen?” Zhongli lowered Sulien down onto the couch, pulling the fabric away from the wound the God grimaced. Lumine nodded, stepping over Ajax to get out the door as fast as she could. Paimon also listened, despite her small frame she managed to drag the medical kit into the living room. Zhongli peeled his gloves off and rolled up his sleeves as he tried to stop the flow of blood now staining his furniture.
-
“He should recover if he doesn’t get an infection. But do you think it is wise to treat Fatui? One less Harbinger may be-”
“I appreciate your concern, but Sandrone is a good friend no matter his occupation. He can’t help his work. Thank you for coming. Have a good night Baizhu.” Zhongli shut the door soon after and then returned to the living room. Sulien was asleep on the couch, a thin blanket covering his lower half while his torso was wrapped in multiple bandages. Ajax, meanwhile, was sitting on the ground, holding Sulien’s hand, head resting against the couch.
“They look kinda cute.” Paimon’s whisper was absolutely not a whisper, but at least she tried as she floated between Zhongli and Lumine, a smile on her face despite the fact it was two harbingers in front of her. She couldn’t know, there was no way for her to know what the two men in front of her have been through. Both alone and together. The scars could give her a hint. But that was it, and she was too naive to get it. And so to her, they were just bloodsoaked warriors who fought in the name of something she did not understand.
To Zhongli though, he’d seen this story play out thousands of times throughout history, and all he could muster was a frown, especially as his eyes traced the scars on Sulien's bare chest. As he retraced their previous conversations, he had first thought maybe it was Lumine. But as he watched the way Ajax nearly killed himself for the man. Zhongli sighed softly. What a tragic position to be in indeed.
“I’ll bring him home. Thank you for helping.” Ajax stood slowly, wincing at the pain he felt. He was in a bad state himself. Lumine held out the tattered coat, the black and navy fabric stained in hidden crimson. Ajax took it, wrapping it around Sulien before hoisting him up with a grunt. Sulien stirred in his arms but remained asleep. “I’ll pick up his claymore tomorrow.” Ajax couldn’t carry the weapon right now.
“Be safe.”
-
Sulien blinked at the ceiling of his bedroom. It was light outside, but the room was dark, the curtains drawn shut. His side hurt like hell, the events of what happened melding into his fragmented memory though, and he couldn’t quite recall at the moment. He felt weight shift in the bed beside him and he tensed immediately. There were very few he’d ever let close enough to him who-
“I know you’re sleeping but..” Ajax started with a soft sigh and Sulien promptly squeezed his eyes shut and evened out his breathing as if he were sleeping. “I think I know why you’ve been sick lately.. It’s the same reason why I’m sick.” Sulien wanted to furrow his brow as he quickly grew confused but opted to continue pretending he was asleep.
“I thought spending time with Lumine would take my mind off of you but it didn’t.” So he had been doing it on purpose. “Lumine is nice and all. But she’s not you.” Sulien could feel Ajax’s warm hand against his cold one, his long slender fingers playing with the scarred skin of Sulien’s hand. “I just don’t want to ruin the friendship we have if you don’t feel the same. So I tell you when you’re asleep like a coward.” Ajax sighed to himself. “This is so pathetic of me.” He mumbled.
“And then it’s my fault you’re hurt, they were my subordinates and my mission.” Ajax’s voice cracked and he didn’t even try to hide it. Though, Sulien supposed when you’re talking to somebody who is asleep, there’s nothing to hide. “All I do is fail you, what kind of friend am I? If I can’t even be a good friend, how am I supposed to be a good enough lover to tell you how I feel?” Ajax intertwined their fingers, but his touch was so hesitant. His hand was so warm, too.
“You say it all the time.. We’re just pawns in all of this.. This is one choice I have control over in this mess and yet I can’t even make it. You deserve so much more.” Ajax pulled his hand away and Sulien missed the comforting warmth. “You deserve somebody who can help heal those wounds, not.. A bloodthirsty monster like me. Whew, okay.. That helped. Good job Ajax.” Ajax mumbled to himself, a soft sigh of relief now that the weight was off of his chest.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Ajax sat up, dull eyes wide as he looked down at Sulien whose eyes were still closed. “I don’t really know how love is supposed to feel. But I think I feel it.” The man sighed, he didn’t know very much it would seem. “Could I have your hand back? I like how warm you are.” Sulien finally opened his eyes to Ajax staring at him, a range of emotions on the ginger’s face. Huh.. Had he always had that many freckles on his face? Cute.
“How much did you hear?!”
“All of it.” Ajax inhaled sharply, panic setting in. Sulien reached out, grabbing Ajax’s hand, warm. “You deserve somebody who understands the things they are feeling. And I’m not that. But I can try to learn..” Sulien cleared his throat, it hurt to speak but he couldn’t really remember the last time he had. He must have been hit pretty hard. “Te-” he hesitated, looking away from Ajax’s shocked expression and out the window. “Teach me.”
Ajax settled back down on the bed, intertwining their fingers once more. “Okay.. I’ll teach you.”
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major tw: bulimia please ignore this ask if needed/you are not comfortable!!!
hi evan i hope youre doing well! i think the fact that you dedicate this blog to helping others is such an amazing thing. i wanted to reach out because ive always been overweight and have lost quite a lot of weight a few times in unhealthy ways (mainly starving) but have always gained it back. i just recently realized this is disordered eating and not just dieting. over the past few weeks though i have began purging. i had never been able to no matter how much i tried but i (TW)found that by contracting my stomach muscles i can force a lot of food out. after realizing this i did it a few times when i felt like i may have binged. now though im realizing i want to do it almost everyday sometimes multiple times a day and its something im actively hiding from my roommates. i still feel like i could mostly stop on my own but idk its kinda getting me nervous. but at the same time i am very overweight (heaviest ive ever been) and im not truly purging everything i eat even when i do purge. i just dont know if this is something i need to talk about or if im being dramatic. plus i feel like being a fat girl with bulimia is not going to be taken seriously. im sorry this was SO LONG
Hello,  dear. I want to stress right away that there is no “slightly” having an eating disorder. What you are describing is the beginning and middle stages of serious danger. When I say there is no “not sick enough” I mean that there is no way to be a little bulimic. If you don’t purge all of it that's better, you are still sick. When I started purging I did the same thing, thinking I was in control and I could stop. You are never in control of it.  The second it starts you’ve gone too far. So what do you do? Tell someone, right away. Go to the doctor, a therapist, nutritionist. Tell your roommates (if you trust them) and friends and family. Asking for help is the best thing you can do. I swear it gets better when others can help, and the need to hurt yourself by purging goes away over time. It doesn’t matter how much you weigh, you never ever deserve to starve, vomit, or fall ill. You 100% are not being dramatic, please seek help. If anyone doesn’t believe you’re sick because you’re fat, I will single-handedly end them. You deserve help. You will fine peace, and you will find joy in your body without changing it. Come back and talk with me any time.
-Evan
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