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waitimcomingtoo · 1 year

Text

Just Like The Ones I Used To Know

Pairing: Arvin Russel x Reader

Synopsis: you and Arvin celebrate your first Christmas together despite Arvins reluctance

Masterlist

“You’re home!” You cheered as Arvin trudged through the snow covering your driveway.

“I am home.” Arvin chuckled in confusion. “What are you doing out here, doll? It’s freezing.”

“I’m building a snowman.” You said as you stepped to the side to proudly present the snowman you’d been building.

“A snow what?”

“A snow man. Haven’t you seen one?”

“You mean that creepy little lumpy thing the Wickerson boys built on their lawn?” Arvin asked as he rubbed his hands together to warm them.

“It’s not creepy. It’s a holiday tradition for when it snows.” You laughed and packed some more snow onto your snowman.

“How do make it look like that?” Arvin wondered as you rounded off the sides of the body.

“Go put on a better jacket and I’ll show you.” You winked at him, sending a flush through Arvins face. He leaned in to kiss you hello before going inside to get his thickest jacket. When he came back out to the lawn, you threw a snowball that hit him in the chest.

“What was that?” Arvin looked down at his jacket in confusion.

“Um…a snowball?” You laughed at his confusion.

“Oh. How do you do it?” Arvin wondered.

“Just grab some snow and mash it together until it’s a ball.” You explained as you formed another snowball. Arvin watched carefully and copied your movement before holding up a snowball of his own.

“Like this?”

“That’s perfect. Then you can throw it-“

You were cut off by Arvin decking you in the face with his snowball. You fell backwards and fell into the snow as your legs flew up in the air.

“Oh my God! Baby! I’m so sorry.” Arvin gasped and ran to help you up. You laughed as he pulled you out of the snow and brushed the snow off of your face.

“I’m okay. I’m great, actually. Because you just had your first snowball fight.”

“It was fun.” Arvin smiled now that he knew you were okay.

“I’m glad you liked it. Now come on. Help me with the snowman.” You tugged on his sleeve and pulled him over to your snow man. Together, you added the middle and head to your snowman so that it was nice and tall. You watched Arvins face light up with joy as he built the snowman and as happy as it made you to see him smiling, it also made you sad. You knew this was probably the first time he’d ever built a snowman and wondered how many other happy Christmas memories he had missed out on. You made sure to let him do the most of the building of the snowman so that he could get the full experience.

“I think he looks pretty good.” You said as you picked up a small wooden box from the ground. The words “snowman kit” were painted on the box in your handwriting.

“Why do you have coal?” Arvin wondered.

“For the snowman. He needs his eyes, smile, hat, and nose.” You explained as you placed the eyes and mouth on the snowman’s head. You handed the top hat from the to Arvin so that he could add it on top.

“Wait, wheres the nose?” Arvin asked and looked in the snowman kit box.

“This is the nose.” You smiled in excitement and pulled a carrot out of your pocket.

“This is a carrot.” Arvin deadpanned.

“Yes. But it’s also a nose.” You booped Arvins nose with the carrot before putting it in the center of the snowman’s face. You then took your scarf from around your neck and wrapped it around the snowman’s head.

“There. He’s perfect.” You said and stepped back to look at the snowman. Arvin stepped back as well and wrapped an arm around you to admire your work together.

“He’s a little funny looking.” Arvin chuckled, making you laugh as well.

“I know. That’s why he’s perfect.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around Arvins torso. He hugged you tightly as snow began to fall down and stick to your nose and eyelashes. He didn’t know why, but he felt oddly emotional as he stared at the snowman. He’d always wanted to build one as a kid but his parents were never well or willing enough to do it will him. Now that he had finally done it, he felt his inner child gleaming with pride.

“So what do we do now?” Arvin smiled and looked down at you.

“Now we drink hot chocolate and eat the cookies.”

“What cookies?”

“The ones I put on the oven before you got home. Come on. They’re probably ready by now.” You grabbed his hand and pulled Arvin inside. You shed your coats and gloves before going into the kitchen to check on the cookies.

“Oh no. They’re ugly.” You frowned when you pulled your cookies out of the oven.

“They’re not ugly, darling. They’re just a little misshapen.” Arvin quickly assured you when he noticed that you were genuinely upset.

“This one looks like a turd.” You said quietly and pointed to a cookie.

“Yes, it does. But I bet it tastes delicious.” Arvin said and took the cookie off the tray. He blew on it before taking a bite. You watched Arvins face lose all its color once he tasted the cookie and he looked at it in disbelief.

“What? Is it bad?” You worried.

“Is this snickerdoodle?” He asked with a mouth full of cookies.

“Yeah. I found a recipe in one of the old cook books.”

“The recipe on the purple index card?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“That was my mommas recipe. She used to make these when I was little. Made em every Christmas.” Arvin smiled a little as he looked down at the cookie. He took another bite and could practically hear his mom humming while she baked cookies.

“Does it taste the same?” You asked hopefully.

“It does. Wow, darling, biting into that made me feel like a little boy again.” Arvin said before finishing his cookie. He kissed the side of you head before taking another one.

“Aw. Arvy warvy.” You gushed and wrapped your arms around him.

“Told you not to call me that.” He chuckled and swayed with you in his arms.

“Then what am I supposed to call you?”

“My name, maybe.” He teased.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You teased back and took a cookie for yourself.

“Thanks for making cookies, darling. And for letting me help with the snowman. I had a lot of fun.” Arvin said in a soft voice as he looked down at you.

“Of course, Arvie. I’m glad you helped me. I like doing Christmassy things with you.”

“I know I haven’t been very festive this Christmas, doll. And I’m sorry about that. This time of year just makes me a little sad.” Arvin admitted as he cupped your face in his rough hands.

“You don’t have to apologize, honey. I know Christmas makes you miss your momma. It makes me miss my folks too. But Christmas is a time to remember happier times. And if you’re up for it, I made of list of things we could do to remind us of the reason for the season. After all, it’s our first Christmas together so I want it to be special.“ You said as you took a folded up piece of paper out of your pocket. You handed it to Arvin and held your breath as he read over it.

“Hang our stockings by the chimney with care? The hell does that mean?” He chuckled. You let out an excited squeal before running into the living room. When you came back, you had a stocking that you had knitted for Arvin as an early Christmas gift.

“Look! I made you one. It has an A on it so Santa knows it’s yours.” You said proudly as you handed Arvin his stocking.

“Darling, Santa isn’t-“

“Shhhh! He’ll hear you.” You quickly hushed him.

“Right. Sorry.” Arvin chuckled and shook his head with affection.

“Come on. Let’s hang them up.” You said as you pulled Arvin by the hand into the living room. He put the radio on the holiday channel and lit the fireplace while you hung up your stockings.

“See? Doesn’t that look so much better?” You asked once you stepped back to admire your work.

“It looks great, darling. Santa will love them.” Arvin humored you. You playfully rolled your eyes at him before wrapping him in another hug. You swayed to the music for a while until your tiny little Christmas tree caught Arvins eye. You can taken a tiny tree from the backyard and decorated it with as many ornaments as it could hold to serve as your Christmas tree. Arvin felt guilty for having a real tree for you and felt deterred to fix that.

The next day, Arvin stopped by the Christmas tree farm and picked out the biggest tree he could find. He got home before you did and quickly set it up in the living room. Just as he started to put ornaments on it, you came home.

“Oh, hey. Welcome home, darlin.” Arvin said when you came into the living room. You were staring at the tree in awe for a minute until a childlike smile broke out in your face.

“You got us a Christmas tree? A real one?” You gasped and reached out to touch the pine needles.

“Well it’s our first Christmas together. It needs to be special.” Arvin echoed your words from the day before.

“But how? It’s Christmas Eve.”

“I love it. It’s beautiful!” You gushed and jumped into Arvins arms to thank him. He hugged you back before handing you a box of ornaments.

“Want to help me decorate it?”

“I would love nothing more.” You gushed and accepted the box. You and Arvin spent the evening decorating the tree together and taking occasionally taking breaks to drink the hot chocolate Arvin had made. You looked over at Arvin every so often to make sure that he was having a good time. When you saw the childlike smile on his face, you felt at peace.

Just a week and a half later, it was Christmas Eve. You and Arvin spent the evening on front of the fireplace with your warmest blanket draped over your legs. You admired your Christmas tree as you told Arvin about all your favorite childhood Christmas memories.

“Do you really believe in Santa?” Arvin asked as he stared at the crackling fire place. You smiled softly and out a happy sigh.

“I do. I believe that the whole season is magic. The lights and the cookies and the snow - it’s all so magical. And that magic has to come from somewhere. So even if there is no jolly old man in a red suit coming down our chimney, I believe he’s out there somewhere granting wishes and making miracles. Something about Christmas makes me feel like anything is possible. And I think as long as I believe in Santa, all my Christmas wishes will come true.”

“What are you Christmas wishes this year?” He looked down at you with a soft smile.

“This. Being here at home in front of the fireplace with somebody who loves me. I asked for that every year. And this year, Santa gave it to me.” You said as you rested your head on Arvins shoulder.

“You think Santa brought us together?” He chuckled.

“I know you think it’s silly-“

“No. I don’t.” He assured you. “It’s a miracle a pretty lady like you ever looked my way. A Christmas miracle, even. It was snowing the first time we met, remember?”

“I do. You helped me get my car to start.” You smiled at the memory.

“Good thing I saw you in that storm. You could’ve frozen to death.”

“Uh huh. But I didn’t because of the kindness of a stranger.” You sighed happily and snuggled into Arvins side.

“I wasn’t even gonna go out that night. Something told me I had to, though.”

“Not something.” You corrected. “Someone. Jolly old Saint Nick.”

“Right. Must’ve been.” He laughed shyly and pulled you closer.

“What did you ask for this year, Arvy Warvy?” You asked as you looked up at him.

“I can’t tell you. If I tell you my wish, it won’t come true.” Arvin said with a cheeky smile.

“Hopefully you were a good boy this year. Santa just may have granted your wish.” You said through a yawn. You fell asleep on Arvins shoulder within a few minutes and Arvin carried you to your bed.

On Christmas morning, Arvin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes while you excitedly tugged him into your living room.

“Come on! You have to see what Santa brought you!” You grinned as you handed Arvin his first gift. Arvin chuckled and accepted the gift before kissing the side of your head. You clasped your hands under your chin and watched with excitement as Arvin tore off the wrapping paper. Inside was a shiny red tool box with brand new tools inside.

“Aw, thank you darlin. I love it. It’s perfect.” He smiled before leaning in to kiss you.

“You’re very welcome.” You smiled when you pulled out of the kiss.

“Got something for you as well.” Arvin said as he sheepishly pulled out a small, poorly wrapped package.

“Aw, arvie. What’s this?” You asked as you tore it open. Inside was a small jewelry box. You looked up at him before opened up the box. Inside was a delicate heart shaped locket that looked like Arvin had made himself. You gasped softly and opened the locket up to find a picture of the two of you.

“One of the boys at work said he knew how to work metal. I asked him to show me how to make that for you.” Arvin sheepishly admitted as he secretly hoped you loved it.

“Oh, Arvin.” You said softly as you looked up at him. He gave you a shy smile before looking down at his lap.

“I’m sorry I can’t afford real jewelry with diamonds and pearls and all that because that’s what a girl like you deserves. I’ll be able to afford it one day. And then I’ll replace this hete necklace with a real one.” Arvin promised you.

“Nuh uh. This is a real necklace. And I love it more than anything you could buy in a store. It’s beautiful, Arvin. I love it.” You assured him.

“Do ya really?” He asked hopefully.

“Of course I do. Help me put it on.” You requested and turned around. You held your hair up as Arvin fastened the necklace around your neck. Once it was one, you looked down to admire it.

“It’s even better when it’s on. Thank you, Arvie. It’s the best gift I ever got.” You said as you threw your arms around Arvin. Arvin hugged you back for a long time, internally ecstatic that you liked his gift.

“I think Santa left a little something in your stocking too.” You said once you pulled out of the hug.

In his stocking, you had slipped in a brand new lighter, a pack of cigarettes, some baseball cards, and a candy cane.

“Wow. Santa was really nice to me this year.” Arvin chuckled as he lit up a cigarette with his new lighter.

“You must’ve been a real good boy.” You coyly shrugged.

“Thank you, darlin. This may be my best Christmas yet.” Arvin thanked you again, feeling like he could never thank you enough.

“This Christmas ain’t done yet. There’s one more gift Santa left you.” You told him as you went to get a present you had hidden behind the tree. Arvin looked at your curiously as you handed him a square shaped present. He unwrapped it and found an old photo album inside.

“A photo album?” He asked you.

“I found it in the attic that time we went to visit your Uncle Erskill. He said I could keep it.” You explained as Arvin began to flip through the pages. Each page was filled with picture after picture of him as a kid with his parents. He relived memories he had completely forgotten about with each page he turned.

“Said it was your mommas.” You added in a soft voice. Arvin teared up as he flipped to the last page, which had a picture of his mom holding him in front of a Christmas tree. The next page was blank, giving Arvin an idea.

“You still got that Polaroid camera?” He asked you.

“I do. Why?” You wondered as you pulled it out of a drawer. Arvin took the camera from you and brought you over to the mirror that hung in your living room.

“Here. Smile.” He instructed as he put an arm around you. You smiled at your reflection as Arvin snapped a picture. When it developed, there was a photo of the two of you looking on the mirror and smiling with your Christmas tree in the background.

“Aw. It’s the first ever picture of us.” You gushed and gently touched the picture.

“Let’s put it in the album so we can remember our first Christmas together.” Arvin suggested. You smiled happily as you helped him slide the picture into the last page of the photo album, right next to the picture of him and his mom.

“Did you get your wish this year, Arvie warvie?” You asked him as you rested your chin on his shoulder. Arvin looked at the pictures side by side and felt tears of happiness come to his eyes for the first time in his entire life.

“I sure did, darling.” He sighed happily. “I sure did.”

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chezzywezzy · 2 years

Text

Yandere Arvin Russell (3/5)

Word count ; 3.8k

*Edited

I strolled out of the school doors, a noticeable pep in my step. Arvin and I had gotten into a habit of joining Lenora down at the cemetery. During the lovely - but terribly awkward - family dinner I had gotten to know her better. She was a sweet girl.

And Arvin and I, we took the chance to see each other whenever possible. A month or so had passed since our first meeting, and we were still going steady. My heart still fluttered when he held my hand, and he was still mystified with everything going out of my mouth.

It was easy to be in love with a man like him.

I was so caught up in my daydreams, that while wrapping around the side of the school building to dispose of some of my school trash, I failed to notice the group of boys trailing after me.

I tossed the plastic bag of scraps and leftover food before wiping my hands on my pants. I hummed a happy little tune to myself before turning around, ready to head back.

But instead, anxiety washed over me instantly when I realized three lanky and robust boys had surrounded me only a few feet away. I took a step back, pressing myself against the side of the dumpster.

“Well, hello, boys,” I greeted, giggling nervously as my nails dug into the green plastic. “What can I do for you’s?”

“There’s a lot you can do for us,” the main bully, who was hovering but a foot in front of me, chuckled. “I’m feeling nice, so how about you give me a kiss?”

I heard his counterparts laugh impishly. Fear consumed me, and when he took a step closer, I pushed at his chest. However, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me forward. I lost my footing, my face colliding with his chest.

“Or, if you insist, we can take things further, whore.”

I let out a shriek of fear, trying to beat him. But just as I struggled free, the other two bullies grabbed two of my arms and pulled them out, leaving me to struggle in between them. “Please,” I begged. “I don’t know what you’re thinkin’, trying to violate me like this, but I swear I ain’t done nothing wrong to you’s.”

“Oh, but you did,” the bully in front of me hummed, grabbing my jaw hardly and making me face him, even though I kicked and squirmed. “On the contrary, whore,” he hissed. “You go prancing around like ya own the place. You refuse to go loving us poor boys that deserve a little touchin’. And that’s cute for a while, whore, but we’re getting tired.”

“Not to fuckin’ mention,” the one to my right interrupted, "you finally stop being such a prude and you go sucking that Russell boy’s dick when you owe us some of that pretty little mouth of yours.”

“ We - we ain’t done nothing but kissin’,” I insisted. “Don’t do anything, please. All I ask is that ya spare me. I ain’t doing nothin’ wrong, boys.”

The one in front of me didn’t look pleased. His grip became frighteningly strong, and I could’ve sworn I heard my jaw cracking. I let out another gasp of pain. He suddenly looked bored. He yanked me forward and tried kissing up on me. I wasn’t able to avoid it, but I kicked him in the groin suddenly.

I yanked my arms free, having caught all three of them off guard. I pushed past them and tried to make a run for it, but a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. I was about to scream, but a hand flew to my mouth, muffling my cries. The other two bullies, taking advantage of my cloddish movement, began tugging at my pants.

Tears stung the edges of my eyes as I flailed in the bully’s arm. My pants were pulled down, the clod wind hitting my bare legs. I knew I was burning red from shame as they greedily pawed at my legs.

“Let’s fuckin’ hurry this up,” the bully which was holding me gruffly demanded. “I’m too fuckin’ horny to be wastin’ more time.”

His minions chuckled cruelly. Fear coursed through my veins as one of their fingers looped into the side of my panties, about to pull down and reveal myself completely. I was trembling to the core, trying to wrangle myself free and escape, but I knew I was outnumbered.

The bully began to pull down —

A fist suddenly collided with his face. I shrieked as I tumbled on top of him, but I was quick to roll off and reach for my pants. The other two bullies shouted, turning their attention to my savior, embarrassment betraying their expressions.

I watched as someone - which I quickly identified as my Arvin - darted past me and tried punching another one of them, but the two overpowered him. The leader also scrambled to his feet and jerked him back by his collar, throwing him against the dumpster.

A screech escapade my lungs as I pulled up my pants, my attention on my poor Arvin, who was getting the shit kicked out of him. I dashed over, trying to pull one of the three’s shoulders, but they pushed me away. Once again I was sent sprawling on the ground, my hands chaffing against the pavement.

“Please, stop!” I screamed, watching as they kicked him to the ground.

Arvin’s face was a bloody mess as he rolled on the ground. The leader and his compadres laughed, finally stepping away. I trembled on the ground as they turned toward me. I shut my eyes, fearing for the worst.

But they walked right past me, only shooting a few final slurs my way.

I peered over my shoulder, seeing they had abandoned the scene. I crawled over to Arvin, who was still groaning and clutching his stomach. Blood slid down his nose and already there was a bruise developing around his eye.

I tired off a piece of my shirt and applied it to his nose. I cradled his head in my lap. “Blow,” I instructed shakily.

He coughed and did so, the rest of the blood spewing from his nose. I finished wiping it off and discarded it in the wind. Arvin coughed one more time, finally propping himself up on his elbows. There was a dominating fury in his eyes, even now, and I could tell he still wanted a piece of those bastards.

He finally sat up, to which I rose to my feet and offered a hand to pull him up, he took it, grunting as he finally stood. One arm was still hugging his waist and he ws hunched over in pain. I cupped his cheeks and placed a distressed kiss on his nose.

He chuckled dryly, pushing me away. His arm finally detached, and instead he cupped my cheeks. He wiped away my tears, to which I snorted up the snot back into my nose. Distress still consumed my every being.

“They’re not goin’ to stop,” I stated.

He sent me an impish, knowing grin. “Oh, they will,” he insisted. “My daddy taught me that it’s all about pickin’ the right time. And that wasn’t the right time. But no way in hell could I let them be touchin’ up on my woman.”

A small smile Ade its way to my face. I kissed the tip of his nose. “…I need to bandage you up. Your everything must be hurtin’ like hell.”

“Yeah, but Lenora’s waiting for us in the car and I have some shit I got ta do while you two are there,” he sighed.

My eyes widened. “But you never leave Lenora to herself.”

“I won’t be leaving her to herself. I’ll be leaving her with you.”

I nodded in agreement. I then slung a gentle arm around his waist and we started walking. Arvin had a slight limp, but I knew that was the least of his worries. We fell silent on the walk back to the car.

~~~

“What do ya mean you have somethin’ to do?” Lenora prodded with scrunched brows and a confused expression.

As the trheee of us stood outside the car, Lenora had taken her bible. She was about to visit her mother’s grave and I… well, I was hoping to meet with the priest. I’d been visiting behind Arvin’s back because the one time I mentioned it he was very against it. And I didn’t want to make him mad, even if I knew he had my best interest at heart, but I also longed to fix myself and only the priest could help me find God again.

“I meant what I said,” Arvin spoke tensely. “It’s something I can’t put off. You’ll be fine on your own, right? It’s just for one afternoon.”

Lenora bit her lip. I leaned against Arvin, one of his hands wrapped around my waist on instinct. We watched her intently, although for different reasons. “…I guess so. You’ve just… never done something like that before. Nothing’s wrong, right, brother?”

Arvin grinned reassuringly. “Nothin’ at all, Lenora. I just have some work I got ta get done, is all. I’ll be back to pick you two up later, don’t you worry.”

I giggled, pressing a loving kiss to his cheek. Lenora’s shoulders slumped as she caved. “…Right. That’s okay, Arvin. You go on and do what you have to do. I’m going to go talk to my mother now.”

Arvin detached from my side and wound around to the driver’s seat. I wanted to watch him go, but Lenora sped off toward her mother’s grave. I sent one last wave to the car before trailing after her. She didn’t seem upset. But with Lenora, I could never tell because of how much of a sweetheart she was.

I hovered behind her as she kneeled on the ground. She began skimming through her bible, finding where she left off. Mustering my courage, I tapped her shoulder. “Lenora?”

With doe eyes, she peered up at me. “Yes, Y/n?”

“I hate to be like Arvin, but I have something to do, too. I want to go see the priest.”

Instead of disappointment, her eyes sparkled and she clasped. Her hands together excitedly. “Really? Are you starting to go down the path of righteousness?”

I nodded. “I’m tryin’ like hell. I guess it’s alright with you, but… don’t tell Arvin. I know he doesn’t like the new priest at all.”

Lenora’s mouth twitched before fully forming into a frown. “…But lying is a sin, Y/n.”

“It’s not lying if I don’t tell him. Besides, I’ll let him know eventually. But I just need to be the one to let him know, not anyone else. So, on that note - it’s alright if I leave you here for a bit, right?”

Lenora nodded eagerly. “You’re right. Yes, go serve the Lord, Y/n. I’m proud of you.”

Courage fluttered in my chest and I nodded. I turned tail and began strolling toward the church. Even though I was trying to worship God and be more faithful, I knew that even I had a hard time understand why the priest was sitting in the church every day of the week, just waiting for people to stroll in. But I knew that was something to take advantage of.

I gently pushed the wooden door open. It squeaked, alerting the man in the pews of my entrance. When the young man spotted me, a boyish grin snuck up to his face.

“Y/n. I’m glad that you’ve decided to join me for a chat,” he greeted smoothly, sliding down the pew and motioning for me to join him.

I was surprised by his friendliness, and a smile graced my lips. I walked down the aisle until I was able to slide into the seat, my discomfort washing off me as my soul was flooded with the spirit. The priest reciprocated my joy, a handsome smile stretching across his features.

“What brings ya here on this fine Thursday? I sense something is wracking your soul,” he inquired.

I pursed my lips. “…Yes. I guess so. Today at school, these three boys tried to force lovin’ on me and I was so scared. My man, Arvin Russell, came and saves me, but the bullies hurt us both a lot. I’m still recoverin’.”

He pursed his lips, brows furrowing. He seemed caught off guard by that confession. “…That… that’s not your fault. The devil was in ‘em boys,” he conceded. “But you got ta clean your soul now. Only God’s touch can fix you of your filth.” He placed his hand on my leg, giving it a squeeze.

“But… why would I be dirty if I wasn’t at fault, sir?” I croaked, betrayal coursing through my veins.

“Because the devil used ‘em boys to sully your spirit. The devil has touched you, and only a man of god can cleanse your soul now.”

“But… I don’t mean to argue with you, sir, but why can’t I cleanse the devil myself?”

“As strong as God is with you, everyone needs help time to time,” he explained, his fingers ghosting further up my leg. “And now is when you need the help of God. Now, God can’t touch you. But a priest can, and a priest like me can cleanse you of the devil’s touch.”

“R - really?”

“Yes. But… it cannot be now.”

“Why not?”

“For the sake of pr - the spirit, it is best to be with God. And to be even closer to God than in his own house, is to be amongst his gift of nature.”

“I… guess that makes sense,” I meekly agreed. “But… I have my lover boy waiting for me so he can pick me and Lenora up.”

“Yes. And we will need much more time than this fleeting moment.” His hand withdrew from my leg, and he clasped his hands together. With a charming yet soulful smirk, he continued, "Perhaps this weekend I can pick you up and we can go down into the woods. We can pray together and banish the devil from your soul together.”

I clasped my hands together and my eyes widened. “Oh, thank you, sir. Nothing would make me happier than to banish the devil from me. Thank you for this opportunity.”

He chuckled brazenly. “Don’t thank me, my child. Thank the Lord, for he is blessing you with someone to guide you to righteousness.”

I nodded in agreement, abruptly standing. “Thank you, Lord. I must be going now. Arvin will be back any minute.”

He gave a small wave, not saying anything else. Instead, he picked up the Bible sitting next to me and began flipping through the pages. I walked out, not looking back. But my spirit was uplifted and I felt better. A part of me wanted to tell Arvin as soon as I could so that I could show him God’s love, too.

Lenora waited. And waited. At some point, it started to rain, so I showed her how to glue leaves together to make an umbrella, which she exclaimed was a great bonding activity. Despite Arvin’s disappearance - and possibly getting sick - it was a nice afternoon.

Eventually, though, he showed up, profusely apologizing. But we thought it was fine.

~~~

I tugged the boy up into the bulky branch, laughing when a branch plopped on his head when he pulled himself up. Arvin confessed prior to the activity that he had a fear of heights, so I made sure we didn’t climb too high off the ground. Just enough to feel the thrilling sensation of wind beating against you and having nothing under one’s feet, like a baby in a highchair.

Arvin panted slightly and readjusted his weight on the thick, bulky branch. He finally felt comfortable enough to intertwine our fingers. He let out a shaky breath before leaning his head on my shoulder.

My composure was casual; I was used to sitting on trees. Sometimes, I found one comfortable enough to catch a quick nap in. I giggled, reaching to his cheek and stroking it.

“Are ya finally going ta tell me why ya can’t take me on a date tomorrow afternoon?” he prodded, quirking his brow. His grip on my hand tightened, but not painfully so.

I sighed, leaning against his head. “Well, you’re not going to like it. I put it off until now.”

“…Yes, darlin’?”

“Believe it or not, the young new priest isn’t half bad. I swear it, Arvin. He’s been helping me find God and I’ve never felt better about the Lord. I told him about the problem with them boys the other day, and he told me the devil had touched me when those boys did. And he said he could help me pray an cleanse my soul with God’s touch out in the wilderness.”

Arvin pulled away form me, staring with bewilderment. “That’s bull shit! The devil ain’t touched any pat of ya, Y/n. The guy just gets a kick out of making people feel bad.”

I sent him a reassuring smile, cupping his cheeks as I swung my legs. “Trust me, lover boy. I asked the same thing, and he said the devil was in them boys. That I ain’t done nothing wrong, but it was good to cleanse the devil’s touch.”

His face scrunched up, including the purplish bruise around his left eye. A stubborn scowl appeared on his handsome face. However, I silenced what I knew would come next with a kiss.

I felt him cave, but only for a moment. He then gently pushed me away by the shoulders, his glower weakening. “I trust you,” he insisted. “I just don’t like that new priest. He insulted my grandma’s cookin’ when he first showed up. Made a whole scene about her chicken liver dish and ate it all himself in the name of God.”

I laughed. “Maybe that’s a little rude, Arvin,” I admitted. “But he’s a nice man. When my mother made me talk to him, he was so very kind.” My expression faltered for a moment, and I cleared my throat. “…Well, he sympathized with me about my life and told me nature was God’s gift. That God loved me and my mother was wrong.”

He furrowed his brows and his jaw tensed. “You and your ma don’t get along too good, do ya?”

“She makes it rather obvious,” I chuckled dryly. “She hates me more and more every day. I don’t really know why, but I don’t care either.I think she’s pretty darn glad I’m with ya. She hopes I get married and leave the house as soon as possible. Or, to quote her, ‘the devil will give you your match’.”

Arvin sighed, pressing his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. I guess… I should’ve connected the dots a lot sooner, huh?”

“It’s fine, Arvin. When I’m with you, I ain’t got any other worries in the world. You know…” A tsunami of mourning crashed into me, and my voice felt strained. “I see myself growing old with ya. Wish I met you earlier. Maybe then you could’ve met my brother. He was… like you. You two would’ve gotten along well.”

“Why can’t I meet him now? Is ‘e moved out?”

“No. He was in prison and then he killed himself. Couldn’t take not having his wife. The county priest, when he moved out with his wife, raped ‘er. She killed herself from shame. And so, he killed her.” Arvin fell silent, and I didn’t even feel his breath fanning across my face. “I agree with what he did, though. My mother said the devil was in the two of ‘em. I never told her that he died, though. I hope she dies alone, wondering why she let her only son and daughter leave her.”

One of his hands gripped my waist and the other skimmed over my upper thigh. “I’m sorry. If anythin’, the devil’s in your ma.”

I sighed. “Well, enough about me, lover boy. Why ain’t you a God-worshipper anymore? I’ve heard rumors of your past, but I tend not to listen to sthem absurd people.”

“My ma caught somethin’ called cancer and she died. My dad killed himself after the funeral. I found the body. The Sheriff drove me here. Lived ‘ere ever since.”

“Have you… forgiven your pa?” I suddenly asked, grasping at his upper arm.

He frowned. “Lenora asked me the same thing the other day.” He thought for a moment. “What is there to forgive? He’s dead.”

“I… know how hard dealing with suicide is. It’s heartbreakin’. I remember when my brother died, I was angry and sad that he left me all alone in this world. But… I knew he could not live without his wife. I learned to forgive him and be glad they were reunited in heaven.”

Arvin tensed. “I… don’t know how ta answer. I never think about it. Grandma and Lenora and Uncle… they all helped me forget about it. I still remember the day like it was yesterday, but I never think about it.”

I nodded, understanding. “I have a feeling you haven’t let go of ‘em yet, Arvin.”

“Of course I have,” he snapped defensively. “Life moves on. I ain’t got time to waste on thinking about ma and pa.”

“If you have enough time to waste on me, I’m sure you mind finds the time.”

“When I’m with you, time ain’t ever bein’ wasted.”

I chuckled, melting from his words. I pressed a kiss to his lips. “Sure, lover boy. We’re being really productive up here in this tree.”

“I love ya, Y/n. Ain’t nothing you could do that would drive me away.”

“Good. I don’t plan on testing that,” I giggled. “I love ya too, Arvin Russell. I love ya to bits. You’re the cherry fillin’ to my empty pie crust, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

#yandere #x reader #x y/n #self insert #yandere arvin russell #arvin russell #arvin russel x reader #arvin russel x y/n #arvin russel x you #arvin russel imagine #tdatt #the devil all the time #sheriff lee bodecker #datt #devil all the time #tom holland #robert pattinson #robert patterson #tom holland x reader

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multifariousqueer · 2 years

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Idk if anybody had this idea before but well here it goes: Arvin Russell having a smaller wife -in size- and they are both awkward bcz the marriage was sorta out of business but they are both getting along some fluff will be great (add filth if u want :3 )

P.S: srry rly for being awkward it's my first time to request smth😅

Hi! I hope you don't mind, I'm gonna answer this as a black!reader(bc I don't see a lot of black readers).

TW: Business partners to lovers, mentions of Lenora's death and the serial killer couple, Spoilers for tdatt, slow burn(ish).

Your daddy disapproved of Arvin and so did your momma but you knew this was the only way. See, you had always wanted a house and business of your own but being a young small black girl, you often were looked down upon and often times, given the classic talk of "well, maybe this is outta your league little girl." and told to just go find a black man and stay in your "neck of the woods". When you got away from the person who made these comments, you just rolled your eyes and said,

"Well what does he know? That old shit has nary a business bone in his body. Old hick."

Arvin overheard your personal pep talk and said,

"Umm little girl?"

"JESUS CHRIST." you said, startled.

"I'm so sorry it's just you were yelling and I thought you were hurt, my apologies" Arvin said.

You looked him up and down and immediately knew he would be a perfect pawn to get what you need.

"It's okay." You said with a smirk on your face.

Arvin began to walk away when suddenly, you blurted out:

"Hey listen. How would you like an opportunity to make money and get out of this shit town?"

Arvin stopped dead in his tracks but he didn't turn around:

"And how would I do that? Selling Girl Scout Cookies?" Arvin asked. You could hear the bemusement mixed with genuine interest in his voice.

You chuckled. This wasn't the first time you had been underestimated because of your size.

"Not quite. See I'm fixing to start a business and buy a house but I can't do that since I'm-" you pointed to your skin.

"I don't know little girl sounds like a big ask for someone so small." Arvin chuckled

"Listen here Mister, I am 20 and a LEGAL adult just like you. I may sure as hell be damn small but these dreams and the money I'll cut you will be bigger than the fattest man alive, so what do you say?" you said.

"What are we selling? Arvin said, interested.

"Teas, coffee, specialized refreshments." You smiled.

"You really think people want that?" Arvin said.

"Well not these people, that's why I said we're getting out of here. Now come on, I'll let you taste the product." You said pulling Arvin's arm.

6 months later:

"It says here, we need to be married in order to get the house and the storefront." Arvin said.

"Nice try, pal." You said, believing it but not wanting it to be true.

"Business partners don't lie to each other, darlin' " Arvin said with a smirk.

Over the past 6 months, Arvin had taken a liking to you. You were ambitious, pretty, outspoken, goal driven and not a bad cook either. You two always had moments where it felt like you would kiss but you never did. So Arvin convinced himself that you were off limits.

"Alright fine, I know a chapel we can go to." You said begrudgingly.

"Actually?" Arvin didn't think you'd go this far for what you wanted but in a way, he was kind of happy you did go this far.

"Yes Actually now stop wasting time and get dressed." You said.

"Yes ma'am" Arvin called.

When you two arrived at the chapel, You saw your preacher. It was nice to know that this man who had known you since you were in diapers, is marrying you off. Admittedly, you wished it was with someone whom you had loved for years.

Once he married you off, the next stop was your parents house:

"ABSOLUTLEY NOT. UNDER NO SURCOMSTANCES WILL I ALLOW THIS. HOW DARE THIS THING COME IN MY HOUSE AND TELL ME THAT HE WANTS TO MARRY MY Y/N." Your dad said.

"Daddy I'm sorry, It's all for the house and store. I promise."

"FIND ANOTHER WAY." Your dad said.

"Daddy, this is the way. I'll finally be able to take care of you and momma." you said almost tearing up. You haded when he would yell at you.

"I just don't want you to be unhappy." Your dad said.'

"Than let me marry Arvin and get us out of this place." you said through tears.

"Okay baby. If this is what you need to do then do it." Your dad said begrudgingly.

You hugged your momma and oveheard your dad telling Arvin that he would kill him if he tried anything. You went upstairs, packed a bag, and left. Arvin did the same and both of you were off to New York.

1 year later

You and Arvin had just gotten the title to the store and you couldn't be happier. Arvin was falling more and more in love with you as the days went on. You found out a lot about him too, like he had shot a preacher that drove his sister to suicide, how he almost became a victim of these serial killers, and so forth. You were still sleeping in different "beds"(Arvin sleeping on a sofa):

"You sure, country boy? I don't mind sleeping on the couch. I could fit a lot better." You asked genuinely concerned for his wellbeing on that sofa.

"Ladies get the better bed. Besides, It's comfy enough." Arvin said. You realized that Arvin would never tell you if he was in pain or sick or anything about himself really. You had to pry into him to figure out the serial killer story.

You caught yourself staring at Arvin more and more. You never noticed how veiny his arms were or how big his biceps were. He was incredibly protective over you(even though you didn't need it) and he was incredibly strong, like he lifted a 100lb bag of coffee beans over his shoulder like it was nothing. It was safe to say you were starting to fall for him but this is what made you 100% head-over-heels for him:

One cold night in December, you were shivering in the bed. You had woken up from a nightmare and desperately needed to go back to sleep because you had a meeting the next day. You saw Arvin tossing on the couch and decided you couldn't take it anymore:

"Hey Arvin?" you asked as gently as possible

"What's the matter, Y/n?" he asked groggily.

"Uhm, I'm cold." You said sheepishly.

"What do you want me to do about that?" Arvin asked with a smirk on his face. He knew exactly what you wanted, he just wanted to hear you say it.

"You're really gonna make me say it?" you said half embarrassed, half jokingly.

"Mhm. If you want it that badly." Arvin said smugly.

"Arvin can you sleep with me?" You said regretfully.

"What's the magic word?" He said now with a full grin.

"Pleeeeaaaassseeee?" You said.

"Good Girl." He said. This sent butterflies through your body.

You two got in the bed and he brought the blanket from the couch. You snuggled up to him and he planted your face in his neck.

"Is this gonna become a daily thing, darlin'?" Arvin asked.

"I don't know. Do you want it to become a daily thing?" You replied.

"I don't mind." He said.

#the devil all the time #tom holland #tom holland x reader #arvin russel fic #arvin russel x reader #arvin russel imagine #arvin russel angst #arvin russel fluff #tom holland fluff #black!reader #poc!reader #tdatt #tdatt fluff

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murvelle · 11 months

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looking at 40’s bucky and also thinking of young lee bodecker

#imagine him!!!#lee before he becomes the way he is in tdatt #maybe he’s just an angsty young man with no clue what he’ll do after high school #he’s charming and quick witted #he loves money and taking advantage of people

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tzthrowbacks · 2 months

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You forgot to add the like she gave to his tdatt post

i can sooo imagine her watching it the minute it got released on netflix and texting him her thoughts

they were still together when he filmed that but they only finished editing in mid 2020 iirc, so she discovered it at the same time as everyone else😇 i'm sure she's a arvin russell girlie like the rest of us

#the mid part #a moment

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stanleyl · 2 months

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Same anon. I'm not hater I'm just do critic bc like like the man and think he deserved better. Like u said he have problem that that he stuck to marvel and Sony to their ip that from where uncharted was popup. Problem that he play light roles like spiderman and when he have free windows he just to far opposite genre very dark roles like he too young playing this it's feels foreign and believable with him. Even uglify him like in TCR room not helping,like I don't believe him,he like he done few amazing ep like 6 and 8 but he not consistent I'm telling u again. I'm thinking he making mistaken with very dark roles,like u need be stable grown to this roles. But fucking morons force him run out from social media and he recording video that was hard to watch. Like I think he age up few years just right there,with this role.like mentally and physically too,he looks much older on have after this role,just compare him in nwh, overall I think it was mistake. I hope he not coming back to such heavy roles not early late 30s-40s

If you still see Tom and not the character even tho Danny Sullivan is nothing him, that's on you. Roles like TDATT, Cherry & TCR challenged him as an actor (especially TCR). I can perfectly imagine Tom not being happy with his career if he had decided to just play the same geeky/clumsy guy in every other role. But he didn't. He plays the fucked up guy really well, drama is his genre.

He doesn't look "so much older" now, he looks his age. He's nearly 30, plus he's a white brit, they just age faster AND THAT'S NORMAL, lol. Even if you still wanna talk shit abt his appearance, you can blame on years of drinking alcohol and some smoking, constantly weight loss/gain, instead of putting all the blame on a particular role he played almost 2 years ago.

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destinyc1020 · 3 months

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I think the issue that the anon has with Uncharted action scenes has a lot to do with the directing and not the actor. We know that Tom has the physical ability, the fight training and the dance training (to learn and control the precise choreography of action sequences). The beast Chris Hemsworth straight out said that Tom was the most athletic of all the Avengers actors. I would love to see Tom in an R-rated action movie where the violence looks more realistic and directed by a great action director that knows how to make the action look as real as possible. Uncharted and Spidey have action sequences that are ok for family movies (which they were), but the hardcore action fans may not appreciate them

Thanks Anon! You might have a good point there! It could just be that the roles that Tom has been in with these fight scenes have been more "family-friendly" roles, and so of course they're not going to be TOO hardcore. Like another Anon mentioned earlier, his fight scene in TDATT was way more brutal, and it REALLY looked like he was hitting that guy in the face over the paper bag, in fact, I'm kinda shocked at how they were even able to film that scene w/out that guy actually getting hurt lol. Didn't Tom say that he accidentally actually hit him in one take? Or am I just imagining this??😅

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jechristine · 2 years

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Speaking of anti-intellectualism, how do you feel about Tom’s relationship with it? His father bragged about none of his sons attending university, and Tom seems to share that attitude. I remember him and his dad making fun of the “artsy” questions journalists ask in TDATT. I’m not saying actors should be bright, I just don’t know how I feel about such a famous actor possibly becoming a symbol of mindless entertainment. People already see him as a corporate symbol.

I’ll start by saying that I think Tom Holland is more than a very good actor: the way that he seems to have woven himself into the fabric of the whole filmmaking process from stunts to script is truly impressive. I think he’s dedicated to his craft and that he is an open-minded, hands-on learner. I think he seeks out new challenges, too. He’s bright in those ways.

That said, Tom has never done anything publically, at least, that has suggested to me that he’s truly intellectually curious. I’ve wanted for a while to write about his response to Martin Scorsese’s critique of superhero movies but I haven’t gotten to it. The response wasn’t great because Tom didn’t really respond to Scorsese’s critique, probably because he didn’t care to understand it. I don’t love the mocking of “artsiness,” which smacks of ressentiment, although iirc I think the emphasis of the Hollands’ joke was self-deprecation. Universities are a need for a healthy society, so I don’t think they should be derided. I think they should be cost-free (government-funded), and any utopia that I imagine includes every grown-up having the capacity to attend. I didn’t hear Dom bragging about none of his sons attending, but if he did that sucks. Does Tom share that attitude? I know he’s joked about cheating on assignments and tests 😔

And all of that said, I still don’t think Tom really deserves to be the symbol for corporate cinema and mindless entertainment, and, even if he is atm, I don’t think he will for very long—as soon as TCR premieres and we’re into this indie era that he’s been teasing. He’s just young and he first established himself on the international stage as the MCU darling. But his reputation and image will round out as the years pass.

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navybrat817 · 1 year

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So, a friend was kind enough to share her Netflix with me, & I just got to meet Ari, & omg, I can see why he's so beloved. Also holy shit, what an incredible movie! Absolutely stunning, & raw, & powerful, & the song during the end credits was so beautiful.

I also got to meet Lee the other day. I'm gonna have to revisit that one briefly because I think I missed one of Seb's scenes (in the car, with a girl? I've seen gifs). I don't remember seeing it, & thanks to a life-saving app called "Does The Dog Die?" (very useful for many other triggers as well), I was given a greatly appreciated heads up, & a time stamp of when to skip ahead & where to play it again. (I could see where things were headed & I just cannot handle scenes of that nature, so I checked the app, & sure enough, I was right.) So I skipped the recommended time window, & now I'm suspecting that the scene I don't remember seeing might've been during that part of the movie. Past that, however, I don't think I'll be watching Devil All The Time again, unless for some reason I find myself in the mood for an emotional spiral... :/ I knew it wasn't gonna be a nice movie, but OOF...

I'm glad you had a chance to see Ari and Lee! I know there are mixed feelings on the film regarding Ari, but he's a beloved character in the fandom. Do you picture him being large? I, and many others, imagine him to be very tall.

Lee is a character I love, but have only written a little bit for. I want to get his voice right when I do it. There are some great writers out there who nail it perfectly. I'm in awe!

And listen. I will be his Pepsi cup if he needs me to. I'm fine with that. I can't remember how far into the film the scene took place, but there are videos circulating.

TDATT isn't a cheerful movie, so I get not being able to watch it over and over. I'm glad you had the chance to watch though. Love and thanks! 💙

#navybrat answers #character ask #personal share #ari levinson #lee bodecker #deansbaby 1967 #sending love ❤️#asks are always appreciated

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littlelioncub43 · 2 years

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Just For Us

Summary: Lee needed a vacation, but he’s nothing if not stubborn. Yet, somehow, you manage to get him in a cabin for an entire week. It’s going to be a very relaxing week, to say the least.

Pairing: Sheriff Lee Bodecker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, smut (18+ ONLY), Lee being in a good mood, allusions to sexy times, each chapter will have their own individual warnings so be sure to read them!

A/N: My birthday is coming up and I guess I’m doing another Lee Bodecker series to celebrate it! I wasn’t planning this, I literally just thought of it, so please bear with me as I figure it out and get to writing!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

#Just For Us: the series #lee bodecker #soft!lee bodecker #lee bodecker x female reader #sheriff lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan smut #the devil all the time #the devil all the time movie #tdatt #tdatt smut #tdatt fluff #tdatt imagine #little lion literature

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dlwritings · 3 years

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Tom Holland

The Mandela Effect

Wide Eyes

The Big 22

Super Sitter

Water [college!Tom] [part 1] [part 2]

Breakdown

It Wasn’t Supposed to Snow

Change My Mind

Something Like Fate

Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts [part 1] [part 2*]

Belonging

C’mon, C’mon

Flicker

All I Want [part 1] [part 2]

3:00 in the Morning

Live from New York

Surprise!

Would Never Be [ft Shawn Mendes]

The Losers’ Club*

Who Do You See?

Wondering

Never Have I Ever

Got Your Six [mob!Tom] [series masterlist]

Help in Three Phases*

Not Prick

Explode

Conflict

Fill Up My Saturday

Migraine

Moving Out (and On?) [ft Niall Horan]

Aftercare*

Casual

Creepy Dan

A Drunk Post

And Now

No Panic

Route: Fear

Better Birthday Present

Peter Parker

Sunny [part 1] [part 2]

Enough For You

I Won’t Be There

Catch in the Dark [part 1] [part 2]

Direct Order

Your Favorite Person [part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

Teapot

Something’s Wrong

Focus on Me

Disappointed

Agent of Hydra

My Princess [part 1*] [part 2*] [part 3*]

His Plan

Burn [series masterlist]

Arms*

Love You and Like You

Arachnophobia

Guilt

Busted*

Little Fall of Rain

Fight Over Irondad

Stage 3

Apology Kiss

Cuddles and Appendicitis

Bad Again

Arvin Russell

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #peter parker #peter parker imagine #arvin russell #arvin russell imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #arvin russell x reader #avengers #avengers imagine #tdatt #tdatt imagine #the devil all the time #the devil all the time imagine #masterlist

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stuckysdumbbitch · 3 years

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sweet girl

summary: Daddy Sheriff doesn’t take no for an answer.

Pairings: dark!daddy!lee bodecker x little!reader

warning: 18 + content, murder, coercion, dub-con more of non-con, smut, mean daddy sheriff, slight rapist mentality in the way it’s written, overstimulation, cream pie, threat of prostitution

this is my first time using (you) instead of she, idk how i feel about this lmao.

masterlist (part two here)

—

He preferred being tender with you, mostly because the way you preened and smiled at his words was the cutest sight he ever had, but also because it made things easier. Of course, he couldn’t always listen to you; not when his needs came first.

When he saw you for the first time, he was utterly confused. After shooting Leroy, he made his way down just as the door was opening. You opened the door carrying a basket of strawberries in one hand as your pretty yellow dress flowed in the wind, giving him enough time to hide.

“Daddy?” you called out, sensing the odd energy of the house. Lee listened to you from the kitchen, next to Bobo’s dead body. He got a glimpse of you; you looked young enough to be just out of high school and by the way you dressed you weren’t a hooker or a sugar baby. You were a looker, definitely.

“how could he even have a daughter?” The officer thought to himself, still staring at your furrowed brows while you laid the basket on the table and turned around. Your eyes caught him and he didn’t want to kill you. No, he could keep you.

With over an year on the basement, you’ve become his perfect little girl. Cooing you into a submissive little space triggered by mommy issues and an intense amount of punishments, he finally had a baby girl.

It made him feel better about himself, all those years of insecurities going to the trash when he had a girl with your hot body only for him, on your knees for him, behaving your very best. He also needed you for his image; the second rumors started forming about his marital status, he whipped out a young girl who he loved deeply to gain the town’s love.

One morning he woke you up with kisses, trailing from your bare chest down the nappy he set you in. He didn’t allow clothes for bed time in case he wanted to have some fun with your sleeping form, like he had done the night prior.

You whined as you felt his hand slip down the waistband, mouth pressing open mouthed kissed on your neck. Still sore from how he worked you the night before, you reached for his wandering hand trying to pry it off your sensitive nub.

He tutted at this, continuing his painful rubs. You whined again, trying to give him your best sad puppy look.

“Daddy,” you mumbled groggily, still wiggling off his grip non victoriously “it hurts, please don’t touch me.”

Lee managed not to roll his eyes at this. Plenty of times he had told you you weren’t in position of denying him, earning more than one spankings for doing so.

“But you are so wet puppy,” he contradicted, dipping a finger into your slit to prove his point. You were in fact dripping, but you didn’t wanted to tell him it was all from yesterday’s round.

“My pearl hurts,” you continued, and lee considered slapping a hand over your mouth and ignore you, but he kept his temper calm. He undid your pull ups, ignoring your words as he pressing more kisses to the soft roundness of your boobs.

He pulled his achingly hard dick out and remembered the time he took your virginity. You were so scared, but you behaved so well for him. He smiled, gazing into your eyes to place a sweet kiss on your nose before pushing in.

He let out a deep grunt when he finally sheathed himself completely into you, watching you shut your eyes tightly in pain. It burned, burned so bad. His thrusts were slow and somehow soothing, but you weren’t squeezing him and fluttering around his cock like he liked. You laid limp with your eyes screwed shut, not even a sweet whimper.

“You are usually so responsive,” he groaned, hands delving back into your clit “c’mon, sing for daddy.”

“m tired,” you grunted, feeling his hand reach down there again, “no! daddy please don’t-“

your sentence was cut short by a loud pornographic moan erupting form your sweet lips, created by a flick of his thumb over you.

“See Bunny?” he grinned at the way you were squelching around him “wasn’t really that hard.”

He ignores the tears that pooled on the pillow as your moans where making you unable to speak. You came around him quickly with a burning heat, with a string of cuss words leaving Lee’s mouth, and then he kept looking for his own orgasm.

“such a good fucktoy for Daddy,” he praised you while plummeting deep inside you; you were chanting his name even though it wasn’t clear if it was for more or if it was for him to stop.

He finally came in what felt ages, dropping his dead body weight onto you while his thick jizz blossomed into you. He pulled himself on his elbows, looking at your fucked out form.

“don’t know why you were fussing so much baby, you look good enough for another round,” he shrugged, finding a wet wipe to wipe the cum on your thighs. “Should leave you in Tecumseth for a night, get all those old men to get a bite of you,”

He chuckled at how your lower lip trembled and you nearly whimpered at his comment, making grabby hands for him. He embraced you in his thick arms after bringing you a warm bottle and placing a new diaper, not before placing some numbing cream on your lower region for the pain.

He kissed your face, hands wandering on the bruises on your bum. He punished you because some boys where following and catcalling you after going to the library, and you didn’t go immediately to tell him.

“You don’t ever say no to me again little miss,” he growled playfully, but not so playfully and you nodded quickly “will talk about your punishment later, just wanna cuddle with my bunny now.”

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker x female reader #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker fanfiction #the devil all the time #tdatt smut #tdatt imagine #tdatt fic #tdatt #fanfiction #sebastian stan #tom holland

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smutsonian · 3 years

Text

we belong together

lee bodecker x female reader

summary: trying to break things off with lee because you didn’t want to be his toy anymore is harder than it seems

warnings: dark!lee bodecker, noncon, dubcon, smut, car shenanigans, stockholm syndrome-ish, obsession, possessiveness, angst, not proofread

word count: 4.3k

a/n: last part is rushed so ending probs suckkyyy

masterlist

“Yes, God! Yes!” Lee moaned in pleasure as his hands held your face down against his crotch, forcing you to gag on his huge cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbles as he ruts his hips towards your face, ignoring the gagging noises you’re making as he chases his release.

He throws his head back, ignoring the way you tried to push yourself up from his crotch and forcing your face harder down his cock while he ruts a few more times against your throat before growling in pleasure.

“Jesus, Y/N,” he continues to hold your face down, forcing you to swallow every single drop of his cum, even chuckling at the gurgling noises coming from you. After a few twitches of his dick in your mouth, he pulls on your hair until you’re face to face with him before attacking your lips with his own, tongue invading the insides of your mouth so he can taste himself in your mouth.

He moans against your lips before pulling away and admiring the look on your face. A few drops of his cum on the corner of your mouth, eyes red and teary from his cock, and hair a mess from how he held and tugged on it too much. “So goddamn beautiful…” He caresses your face with a smile on his face.

“Thanks,” you let out a sigh before pulling your face away from his hold, turning away from him to face the car window. Lee’s face falls at your actions and before he could ask what’s wrong, you spoke up again. “Can you please take me home? Right now.” Your voice held no emotion although it’s clear that you didn’t want to talk about anything at all so Lee just sighed before starting the car and driving towards your home.

“Alright, sweetie. We’re here.” Lee smiles before moving towards you to press a kiss on your lips which you avoided so his kiss landed on your cheek instead. Lee lets out a grumble before frowning at you. “Is anything wrong? Why are you so pissy?” His face scrunched up in annoyance before it turned into an angry one when you ignored him, trying to open the locked door.

“You answer me when I ask you a question, girl.” Lee grabs your face with one hand before forcing you to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong, Lee,” you manage to stutter through his harsh hold on your cheeks.

“Bullshit!” He bellows before his hold on you tightened.

“Let go of me, Lee…” You try to pry his hand away but it was no use. He’s a strong man.

“Not until you tell me what your problem is, sweetie,” he finally lightens his hold on your cheeks as his voice starts to get calmer.

“You know you can tell me anything right? I’m here for you,” he moves his hand from your cheeks to the side of your face to caress it with what you can see as faux care.

You huff at him which caused him to frown slightly.

“Are you?” You ask lightly, afraid of awakening the dark side of him again.

“Are you really going to be there for me?” Your question made Lee huff in disbelief as if you’re the one speaking nonsense.

You cut him off before he could even reply. “Because from what I see, you’re only with me when you need to get your dick wet.” You spat, jaw clenching in anger as you tried to stop yourself from bursting into anger or in tears. It hurts to develop feelings for a man who only sees you and wants you for your body.

“Hey, heyy… Where the hell is this coming from?” He tries to pull you into a hug but you pushed on his chest which he frowned at but didn’t push anything seeing you so upset.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He deftly pries under your chin so he can stare at your glossy eyes.

“I’m done being your slut, Lee.” You hiss harshly, ripping his hand off your chin before slamming on the door. “Now open the fucking door!” You continue to bang on the door, waiting for him to finally unlock it.

“ENOUGH!”

You stilled as Lee’s booming voice fills the car. You’ve awakened what you didn’t want to see.

“You’re going to tell me what’s making you act like a bitch right now or so help me.” His eyes dark with anger and nose flaring and fury is enough to make you comply.

“I know you fuck a different whore every single night, Lee.” You deadpan, making him look at you with a confused look mixed with a surprised one.

“And I refuse to be one of your whores.” You let out a sigh, feeling all the tears falling when you can no longer hold them in. “I don’t want to be your fucking whore, Lee!” You cry out before banging on the door once more.

“What? Hey hey hey…” He pulls you away from the door, his hands securing your wrist together as he successfully pulls you closer to him.

“You are not a whore, okay? You are my girl. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

“You’re not mine. You let all those other women fuck you!” You shout at him but he only shushed you with his meaningless words.

“No. No. They don’t mean anything to me, sweetie. You’re the only woman for me. I do love you and I know how much you love me. Why else are you going to make such a fuss right now if not.” He lets out a chuckle before forcing you into a hug which you had no choice but to participate in.

You stayed in that position for a while before you’re finally able to pull away. You wipe the tears off your face before sniffling. “I don’t love you.” You whisper.

“That’s a lie.” Was his answer.

“No.” You stare at him.

“I don’t love you anymore.” You hold eye contact, hoping that he can’t see through your lies, and thankfully, it works because you see his resolve fading.

“Don’t lie to me, Lee. You don’t love me.”

“Of course I do!” He pleads.

“You don’t!” You cut him off. “You love how I take care of your cock!” He shakes his head at your words in disbelief.

“We’ve never even been on a fucking date.” You huff, realizing how stupid you are to fall in love with a man who’s been using you for his pleasure.

Lee scoffs before rolling his eyes. “So let’s go on a date then. If you want a date so fucking bad then let’s go on one. I’ll drop all those worthless whores for you as well. Just stay with me. I love you.”

“NO YOU DON’T, LEE! YOU DON’T!” You scream at him while hitting his chest which didn’t really do anything to him.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to lose your toy. We were never together and apparently never exclusive.” You huff before sighing out loud.

“You can’t leave me. You fucking love me.” He states, staring at nothing before looking back at you when you let out a huff. He suddenly grabs your face, pressing a wet kiss on your mouth and poking his tongue inside as his hands grabbed at your body.

His hand suddenly cups your core making you squeal and moan at the sensation. You feel him smirk through the kiss which made you push him with all your might until he was off of you. “Get off of me!”

“Your body can’t fuckin’ lie to me, sweetie. You’re still in love with me. You belong to me. We belong to each other!” He bites his bottom lip before palming his hard cock through his pants.

“Those whores mean nothing to me. You’re the only one who can drink my cum you know. Those whores don’t deserve it. Only you.”

“Wow! Thank you!” You fake a smile before rolling your eyes at him. “You are fucking disgusting.” You reach forward so you can unlock your side of the door before sitting back and looking at him.

“Don’t ever come fucking near me again. I deserve someone who actually appreciates me and loves me.” You reach inside your bag before pulling out a piece of paper and throwing it at his face.

“Sweetie—” Lee tries to reach for you but he was too late. His door slams shut and you’re already running away from him and into your house.

Lee looks down at the piece of paper which is a photo of the both of you. It was just after you finished sucking his cock like the few other times you did. Hair a mess, eyes red and mouth wet. He was beside you, holding you close as the both of you smiled happily at the camera. It was the first time you told him that you love him. The first of many but every time you said those words, Lee never returned them. He wasn’t one with words but he thought he was showing you how much he loves you but he was fucking wrong. Now you’re gone and he’s realizing that just now. He should’ve said those simple words. He would’ve said it if he knew you wanted to hear those words. He’d do anything for you.

In fact, he’ll do anything to have you back. Whether you like it or not. Besides, you need to be taught a lesson after acting like a fucking brat.

Lee could already feel his cock swelling at the thought of him putting you in place.

Oh, you’ll pay. And then he’ll show you just how much he fucking loves you.

You thought he was off your back but you’re wrong. You got so comfortable without him and that's a big mistake.

Lee always watched you. He continues to watch you as you go on about your day. He watches you as you continue to be his good girl. Your words about someone loving and appreciating you made him think that there’s someone else but as he continues to follow you around, he didn’t see anyone.

He would smile when he sees your head scanning the room when someone mentions his name at the restaurant or somewhere else. It made it clear that you still love him. Your lies will never work on him. You belong to him.

You belong to him and only him.

You were doing so well. But then he noticed how you no longer react when his name gets mentioned. Your lack of interest when people say something about the sheriff only infuriated him. And then he sees a guy with you and he realizes why.

It was at the local shop where you usually get your groceries and suddenly, this lanky kid gains the confidence to put a finger on you? On Lee’s girl of all. What, just because he wasn’t by your side for a whole week, that means people can try you out? No. Not in Lee’s watch. Not his girl. And for you to actually entertain the guy… Do you think that that lanky boy can appreciate you how Lee appreciates you? Do you think that that lanky boy can love you like Lee does?

No one can love you as much as Lee does. He failed to show you, yes, but he’s going to show you right now. With or without the lanky boy watching the both of you. You’re making yourself a whore for that lanky kid? You told Lee that you didn’t want to be a whore but here you are, making a whore of yourself for a fucking loser.

Oh, you have done it.

You forget who you are but Lee is more than willing to make you remember just who you fucking belong to.

Lee flounces towards you and the loser before slipping an arm to your waist and pulling you incredibly close to him. You immediately hated yourself for loving the familiar feeling of his body against yours. His warmth feels so familiar and you just want to drown in his body but you have to remind yourself how he’s no good for you.

“What’re you doing here, Lee?” You whisper before trying to pry him away from you but that only made him hold you tighter and closer, grunting in your ear. “Don’t make this worse for yourself, sweetie.” He growls into your ear before pressing a kiss on your forehead, making the cashier who’s been talking to you awkwardly cough before handing you the bag of groceries which Lee took with a smirk.

“Thanks for helping my girl out. I can take it from here, punk.” Lee scoffs at the cashier before pulling you towards his car.

“Lee, what the fu— ”

“Watch your fucking mouth. You’ve already got yourself in so much trouble, you fucking brat. Don’t fucking try me.” You saw his jaw clench while his nose flared in anger as he started the car before driving off.

You wanted to question him when he went past the turn to your house but the expression on his face left no room for confrontation. It would be like digging a deeper hole if you even try to talk to him right now. So you remained silent. Waiting for whatever Lee has in store for you.

It surprised you when you realized that Lee’s taking you to his house. It’s not like you’ve never seen it. You did... once. And that was when he got too drunk and demanded you to cuddle him until he fell asleep. That was probably the only time he acted that way. He’ll only show affection when he’s not his usual self, apparently. His house was a mess back then and you weren’t really surprised by it. He’s a busy man and he’s probably too busy to take care of his home. And it’s not like he actually cares about it.

“I’ll keep my mouth shut if I were you.” Lee stops the car abruptly before getting out and walking towards your side before opening the door for you and pulling you out by your arm. “You’ve already earned yourself ten from being a brat and another ten from that lanky cashier,” he continues to berate you whilst he pushes you into the surprisingly clean house. The numbers he was talking about remain a mystery and you didn’t get to dwell on it much because the situation of his home made you gawk in awe. When did this place become this tidy?

“Bend over the sofa,” he grabs your arm once more before pulling you towards the leather sofa and pushing on your upper back until you’re bent over the arm of the sofa.

“L-Lee?” Your voice trembles in fear as you start to realize what the numbers from before meant. “W-what?”

“The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll finish. I just gotta remind you of some things because you’re forgetting who you are, sweetie. You’re forgetting who you belong to.” He quickly pulls your bottoms down along with your underwear and you hear him making a sound.

“Ah, I fucking missed this pretty ass…” You feel his rough hands groping your ass hard which made you whimper and squirm under his hold but one hard slap made you stiffen up.

“Stay still and be a good girl now,” he whispers before pressing a kiss on your clothed shoulder.

*SLAP*

Another slap makes you whimper again. Lee tries to soothe you with gentle whispers but it didn’t really work because the more he smacks your flesh, the more painful it gets.

“Pl-Please! Stop it, Lee… It hurts…” You pleaded quietly as fat tears fall down your cheeks.

“You’re doing good, sweetie… Just a few more,” was the only response you got from Lee.

He resumes his punishment while you bury your face down the sofa, screaming into the furniture in pain and wailing as his hands alternately fall down your ass.

Continuous hard slaps fell on your ass before he finally stops, his rough hands now massaging your warm ass.

“Such a good girl for me,” he cooed before bending over and covering your body with his. He kisses the side of your face while he cuddles you, whispering compliments in your ear before pulling you up by your waist and quickly dragging your body to his bedroom.

The bedroom that was a mess from before looks really organized and homey now than the last time you’re here.

“This is probably one of the reasons why I can’t take you out on a date… Was working my damn ass off to make this place livable… For us.” He didn’t give you time to react because he was already on you, pressing a wet kiss on your lips while he pushes you until your back falls onto the soft mattress of his bed.

“I only want what’s best for you,” he pulls away to speak those words before slamming his lips back onto yours. His hands trail to the front of your shirt, palming your breasts through the cloth before harshly ripping them off your body.

“Goddamn beautiful,” he whispers before moving his lips to your neck and sucking harshly, eager to leave his mark on your body. Just one of the many he’ll be leaving on your body.

“L-Lee! Please…” You sobbed, trying to pull his head away from your neck by tugging on his hair but he only moaned in response.

“What, sweetie? You want more? You just have to ask nicely…” He licks a spot on your neck before sucking again.

“No! Please stop! Get off!” You push on his chest and this time, he pulls away before staring down at your face and then your body.

“What are you talking about, sweetie? I have to make it up to you. I have a lot to make up to…” He smirks before spreading your legs wide open and crawling down so his face is in front of your glimmering core.

“You don’t want them pretty wrists broken, do you?” He gives you a dark look, forcing you to nod at him with wide and terrified eyes.

“Then keep your hands to yourself, okay?” He raises an eyebrow before smirking at your nodding head.

“You can pull on my hair. I like it when you do that.” He chuckles before burying his face in between your legs, surprising you at the warm and wet flick of his tongue on your clit. Your legs tried to clench together but his strong hands stopped you from locking his head in.

“Fucking delicious,” his breath blows on your clit, making your hips stutter. He chuckles against your core, sending vibrations all over your body.

“Should’ve done this a long time ago. You deserve all the pleasure in the world, taking care of me and all…” Your eyes widened when he inserted a finger, and then another before twisting inside of you, looking for that certain spongy spot that’ll drive you insane.

“Ah, there we go!” He says over you scream when he finds that special spot. He watches your pleasured face before going back down on your clit, tongue flicking wildly on your sensitive nub while his fingers continue to hit your special spot.

Your back arches at the unfamiliar sensation and Lee doubles his efforts as you cum on his tongue and fingers.

“Such a fucking good girl! My good girl.” He continues to drink your juice while you try to relax from the high he just pulled from you.

He crawls up your body until his face is just above you.

“I love you, sweetie. I should’ve said it a long time ago but I’m too much of an idiot. But I’m telling you now that I love you and only you. I love you now and I’ll love you forever.” He kisses you, not with lust but with love and you couldn’t help but cry at the overwhelming sensation he’s giving you. First, the spankings. Second, the first orgasm. Then, he tells you he loves you. It’s all too much for you. You never expected it from Lee but here he is now…

“I failed to make you feel loved but now… I’m going to make it up to you…” He places a kiss on your forehead before kissing you on the lips once more.

“I fucking love you.” He stares at you, his forehead on yours before you feel it.

“Sshhh…” He shushes you when you start squirming at the feeling of his tip poking at your entrance.

“L-Lee… Please don—”

“Don’t worry, sweetie… I’m here. I’ll make you feel good… I’ll take care of you…” His ginormous tip starts to enter you slowly and you close your eyes at the painful sensation.

You feel his lips kissing your wet cheeks as he whispers comforting words for you.

“I’m here… I love you… Fuck!” He fully settles inside you, breathing heavily at how your walls are hugging his huge cock.

“You feel so fucking good around me, sweetie. Like you belong to me… and you do! You belong to me!” He pulls out before slamming right back in.

“And seeing you with someone else? Seeing you being a whore for someone else when you told me you didn’t want to be my whore?” He sets a painful pace, harshly pulling out and slamming back in with power, loud slapping noises fill the room as he continues to rut into you.

“But that’s okay… I’m at fault as well. I didn’t treat you right… I was too busy planning a future for us that I forgot to take care of you.” He grabs your hips to pull your body closer when he slams inside you.

“LEE!” You scream, both in pain and pleasure.

“And for those other women? I didn’t want to hurt you with how I can get so needy but… You’re perfect for me. You belong to me and I belong to you. We belong to each other and we’re perfect for each other… You’re perfect for me and you take me so well!” He cries when your walls clench tighter around him.

“See?! Oh my fucking god!” His eyes close at the feeling of your walls milking him.

“Goddamn, sweetie!” He continues to rut into you, chasing for his orgasm when his eyes suddenly widen in realization.

“I’m going to cum, sweetie! But- but not before you do!” He trails a hand in between your bodies before skillfully rubbing on your clit with his thumb.

“There you go! I can feel you pulsing around me, sweetie. You close?” He breathes heavily, watching your face as he continues to push himself in and out of you.

“L-lee…” you groan, trying to hide your face but Lee uses his free hand to keep your face in place.

“So beautiful…” He kisses your lips hungrily before rutting into you faster. Harder. His thumb rubbing your clit with vigor and you couldn’t hold it anymore.

You cum with a cry, arms automatically wrapping around Lee’s neck as your body shakes in pleasure while your cunt clenched around his aching cock.

“Ahh FUCK!” Lee follows you, cumming with a shout as your walls continue to milk him. You can feel him emptying inside of you and you couldn’t help the feeling of being full.

Lee suddenly presses a hand on your lower stomach, grinning when he feels his cock and his spent through your skin.

His jaw clenches before he scatters off you, you couldn’t watch him with how you’re so exhausted but seconds later, you feel him lying beside you on his side, watching you.

He takes your hand before slipping something on your finger.

You pull your hand away from him before gasping in shock. It’s a ring…

“Lee?”

He smiles at you before pressing a kiss on your head.

“I’ve been planning on giving that to you. Proposing... But shit happened…” He laughs before taking the blanket and covering the both of you.

“I’ve been planning everything, sweetie. The house… Our house. I did everything for you. I’m doing everything for you. I’m sorry for not handling things better. That’s my fault.” He stares at you before smiling.

You give him a small smile, still a bit terrified but a bit… loved and soft as well…

You let him press a kiss on your lips but let out a gasp when he pulls away, his hands on your neck but not clenching to choke you.

“We’ve both made mistakes, sweetie. But we’ve learned, right?” He asks, looking at you expectantly.

“You don’t whore yourself out for other men. You’re not a whore. You told me that, right?” He smiles when you nod against his hold.

He retracts his hand, patting your head, and caressing your face.

“Such a good girl… One of the reasons why I fucking love you.” He kisses you again before sighing.

“I’ll never get tired of saying I love you from now on…” He lays on his back before pulling your head on his chest, playing with your hair.

“You love me just as much, right?” He asks and you couldn’t even lie to him right now. Even if you keep denying it, you’ll never get over Lee. He is the only man you learned to love.

“Yes, Lee. I love you just as much…”

His chest rumbles before he presses another kiss on your head.

“That’s because we’re perfect for each other… We belong together.”

And you believe him. You do belong together. What’s a relationship without ups and downs, right? You’ll be spending your days and night with Lee just like before but you have a feeling that a lot of things will be different from now on.

You stare at the ring on your finger, shining brightly in the dark.

Everything will be different from now on and it’s for the better.

You smile at the thought before staring up at Lee’s peaceful sleeping face.

“We belong together.”

---

an: like i said... rushed ending sdfghjkl

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @littlegasps

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

wbt l.b: @bxnnywriting

@httpjeongukk @charmed-asylum

#lee bodecker x reader #dark!lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker #the devil all the time #tdatt #tdatt fic #tdatt imagine #lee bodecker imagine #dark fic #dark!fic #yandere lee bodecker

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kelieah · 3 years

Note

resting your forehead against your lover's, mumbling ''kiss me'' under your breath, but your lover is teasing you, exploring how far they can push you before you start begging. bonus point if you haven't kissed each other in a while / with arvin omg

after all this time (arvin russell x reader)

word count: 0.4k

warnings: fluff, kissin, slight suggestiveness

a/n: omg i think i actually wrote a good blurb for once. thanks for the request lovely!

arvin russell masterlist

As soon as you saw him outside your front door with his military bag in hand, you jumped into his arms as if your life depended on it. Minutes later, here you two are, swaying in each other's arms on your porch while your foreheads are pressed against one another.

"Didn't think you missed me that much," he whispers so softly, his rough voice didn't sound so harsh as it used to.

Your lips curl into a smile when you feel his warm breath against your skin, "Course I did." His lips barely, just barely graze yours to the point where you feel like you felt sparks. You then pout and gaze into his eyes, almost glaring at him for teasing.

"What?" he mutters, a slight smirk growing onto those thin lips of his.

"Arvin Russell, you really will be the death of me," you sigh and brush your nose against his, closing your eyes.

His hands travel down from your back to your waist to pull you closer, "I could say the same, doll."

"Kiss me," you tell him under your breath, threading your fingers through his ever-so-soft hair while pushing off his uniform cap.

"Huh?" he mumbles, squeezing your hips cautiously as your eyebrows drop. "What did you say?"

His voice so smug, you want to just smash your lips against his to shut him up. You let out a begrudging sigh and glance down at his lips, "You know what I said."

"I don't think I did," he sways you around, guiding you inside of your own home.

"Arvin," you warn, your tone playful, his name almost came out like a whine.

"What?" he says cluelessly, leaning forward to ghost your lips once again.

You exhale loudly and grip his hair teasingly, "Please?"

"Please, what?" he brings his lips closer to your skin, pressing butterfly kisses against your cheek. He continues to wait, wanting to see how much longer until you break.

"Lover," you drag on, smiling as his kisses move toward the edge of your lips.

"Yes?"

"Don't you want to kiss me? After all this time," you question innocently, bringing your hands down to his back to caress him.

He lets out a rough, gentle laugh and pushes his lips against yours. You smile into the kiss and deepen it, pressing yourself into him closer to feel every inch of him. You bring your hands up to cup his face and almost moan when he slips his tongue in.

He pulls away chuckling at your desperateness and picks you up, spinning you around in his hands. "Love you, baby," he looks up at you with a softened expression.

You giggle and glance down at him, blowing him a kiss. "Love you more."

thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

tagging some mutuals :) @evermoreholland @ptersmj @parkerpeter24 @blissfulparker @heavenlyholland @hollandcrush @selfcarecap @spideyspeaches @ms-misery @msmarvelsmain @peterbenjiparker @kickingn-ames @bi-lmg @lokiscu @petersgroupie @dhtomholland

#haven't written in a hot minute #so here's a blurb #kelly's blurbs #arvin russell #arvin russell one shot #arvin russell fanfiction #arvin russell imagine #arvin russell fic #arvin russell blurb #arvin russell fluff #arvin russell x you #arvin russell x reader #arvin russel x y/n #tdatt #the devil all the time #tdatt fic #tdatt fanfiction #tdatt imagine

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 3 years

Text

Hayloft p.4

Pairing: Arvin Russell x F!Reader

Summary: Your dad brings home his new coworker, Arvin Russell, telling you that he’ll be living with the two of you for a while. While attempting to keep Arvin from seeing the disfunction of your relationship with your father, the two of you grow closer than you thought. (Inspired by “Hayloft” by Mother Mother, though that’ll really only be one chapter later on so I don’t know if it really counts…)

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, death, abuse, and sexual assault (depictions of none, though), alcoholism/ drunkenness, mentions of teen pregnancy, mentions of infidelity, murder

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Pretty lightly edited, just a warning

Read the Previous Chapters!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“Hey, hun, what can I getcha?” You leaned into your popped hip, pen and notepad in hand.

A man you hadn’t met before, clearly someone just passing through town, was sitting across the diner bar in a light blue button-up and suspenders. He was fairly clean cut save for the day-old scruff across his face. He studied the menu intensely before setting it down and looking up at you with a sweet-as-pie smile. “Can I please have coffee with some cream and the grits?” He asked with a southern drawl.

You scribbled down his order on the notepad, “That all?”

“Mhm, I think so. Thanks doll.” He slid the menu towards you before reaching for a newspaper that had been left on the counter beside him by the last patron. You turned around to pin the man’s order on the little turnstile for the chef when the little bell on the door rang.

Tucking your notepad back into the apron tied around your waist, you grabbed the pot of coffee from the counter and poured the man a cup of the rich black liquid. Next, you prepared a little ceramic cup of cream and walked back to set them on the counter in front of him. His polite thanks were only the background when you saw Arvin walk behind the man and shoot you a smile before settling down in a seat at the bar only a few seats away.

You walked over to him and leaned on the counter with a smile, “Well, hey there stranger. You on lunch already?”

Arvin nodded, looking to you hopefully, “Yeah ‘n I was hopin’ you might be too so I could grab a bite to eat with my favorite girl.”

“Shh!” You hushed him with exasperated wide eyes, like it should have been obvious that he needed to keep his voice down, because in your mind it was. You nodded your head to the other patrons in the diner. “Y’know word travels fast in little towns like this ‘n I don’t need my daddy findin’ out ‘bout us,” you whispered to Arvin who sighed in annoyed understanding. You knew he wasn’t annoyed at you but the situation was less than ideal.

He tapped his fingers on the counter and his knees bounced under the bar, “So is that a no for lunch?”

You glanced over your shoulder to look at the clock that hung on the wall. It was only eleven in the morning but maybe you could ask Charlene if she could cover so you could take an early lunch. “Let me double check real quick.” You held up a finger to excuse yourself into the back to find your coworker.

No more than ten minutes later, you and Arvin walked out to his car with two take-out boxes of burgers you had managed to swipe from the kitchen in hand. He slid into the driver’s seat while you planted yourself beside him in the passenger’s. You handed him one of the boxes of food before opening your own and

digging into the small handful of fries. “So how is your day going so far?”

Arvin took a large bite of his burger, covering his mouth with his hand has he tried to speak and chew at the same time, “Ain’t too bad. I got an engine to rebuild for an old Ford when I get back but nothin’ too terrible. How ‘bout you?”

“Ready to go home already,” you chuckled, popping a fry in your mouth, “But it ain’t too bad here either. Just would like to not be here.”

Arvin laughed a little beside you, “I know how that feels. Thanks for the burgers by the way. I appreciate it. I don’t want you gettin’ in no trouble for stealin’ food.”

You shrugged off his concern, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. If people don’t eat it, it just goes in the trash anyways. I ain’t gonna get in any trouble.”

He let out a heavy breath, resigning to your insistence, which he really just found an adorable confident stubbornness. A comfortable silence fell over the unmoving car as the two of you ate your lunches in the parking lot. When you finished chewing your bite, you looked over at Arvin, “How long you been livin’ with us?”

Arvin looked up at the brick wall straight ahead in thought, “Maybe five months now. Longer than I meant to-"

"I didn't mean it like that! I was just wonderin'...." you got awkwardly quiet for a moment, "Havin' you 'round has been the best five months in a really really long time."

"For me too. When I came into town, I thought I'd be livin' in my car. Didn't know how lucky I'd be gettin' to live with the most beautiful girl in the world." His hand reached over to your thigh, squeezing lightly.

Even after all of his sweet affections and compliments, they never failed to make your cheeks ache from trying not to blush and smile like a schoolgirl. “You really think flattery will get you somewhere?” you giggled teasingly, turning towards him and nudging his leg with your hand.

“Well it got me in your house so…” He teased back, something that he had been doing more often in the last few weeks. Arvin had never been the most humorous of people, aside from the occasional chuckle or hidden smile. That had been changing since the two of you had gotten closer though.

“Uh, no! It might get you kicked outta my house though if my daddy ever finds out.” It started as chuckle but the words faded into concerned worry as you realized how true they could really be.

Arvin sensed the shift, “You really think your daddy would kick me out if he found out ‘bout us?”

You nodded, “Without a doubt. Would probably throw me out too.” You shifted so you were sitting on your bent leg, suddenly uncomfortable.

He began cautiously, “I mean… would that really be such a bad thing?”

You whipped your head to look at him, “I ain’t got nowhere else to live right now. I been savin’ up for a year to move out but it ain’t enough to buy a place of my own yet.”

“How much you got?”

That number was in your head immediately, one that you kept a running total of with every paycheck. “$4,317.” It wasn’t enough, though, and you knew it. Even the old run down houses around town cost $12,000, which meant you weren’t even halfway to the fixer-uppers, not that you minded buying a fixer upper. “I don’t need a mansion or nothin’ but it ain’t nearly enough for even something small.”

Arvin chewed his lip, thinking about the box of cash he’d been stashing away with each of his paychecks as well. He knew exactly what it was like in your position, struggling to save up the money to get on your own feet. He hated relying on others and, even though he really liked you, he hated depending on your and your father for shelter. “You ain’t gonna be stuck in this ol’ town forever,” he promised you and it came out just like that. A promise. “You’re too good for this place.”

Another smile forced its way onto your face at his words of hope, “I’ll get outta here eventually…”

Suddenly, a familiar male voice yelled your name and you flinched. You turned towards the voice to see your boss, Harold, standing at the backdoor of the diner with his hands on his hips. He gave you a stern look and tapped the watch on his wrist before pointing at you then jabbing his thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

“Shit! I totally lost track of time!” You scrambled to gather up the trash from lunch and stuffed it into the paper bag you’d brought it out in. “I’m sorry, I have to run!”

Arvin had nearly jumped out of his skin when your name had been yelled, the only person he’d ever heard calling you that way being your father. He crumbled up the paper wrapper for his burger and stuffed it in the paper bag for you. “‘M sorry. Didn’t mean to get you in trouble with your boss.”

“Nah, he’s fine,” you waved off the worry dismissively, “He acts all tough but he ain’t nothin’ but a softy.” You opened up the door and began to slide out when you stopped and took a quick glance around. Nobody was in the parking lot, or really anywhere in sight for that matter. In an impulsive swift action, you grabbed Arvin by the collar of his greasy shirt and pulled his lips to yours quickly before pushing him before anyone could see.

He looked stunned, big brown eyes wide and shocked by your courageous kiss. Your heart raced and your cheeks flushed with the exhilaration of actually sneaking a kiss to Arvin in public. It was a dangerous move but your dad was at work and there was nobody else around to see. You tried to hide your excited smile by chewing your bottom lip but it didn’t work. “Thanks for lunch, Arv.”

“Uh - y-yeah. Thank you for the burger.” Arvin stumbled over his words while you slid out of the car and closed the door behind you, leaving the poor boy struggling to make his brain catch up to reality.

“See you at home!” You waved one last time before turning. Arvin watched as you jogged back to the entrance of the diner, your little dress bouncing with every movement. You turned to give him one last glance before you disappeared behind the door.

Work had passed rather uneventfully for you. You put in the last few hours of your shift, went to the grocery store, and then headed home to start on dinner.

Arvin, on the other hand, the rest of his day at work had shaken the good feeling he’d had since his lunch break with you. He had found himself with a wrench in hand, trying to bolt back in the engine he’d been rebuilding for the last few hours. Grease smeared across his shirt, pants, and face despite how hard he tried to keep his dirty hands from ruining his clothes. Even if they were work clothes, he didn’t have that many sets of outfits nor the money to go out and buy more.

“My cousin lives o’er there with his wife. Said the sheriff up and disappeared for a while but they found him dead in the woods.”

Arvin’s head nearly hit the hood of the car that was propped up when he heard those words. He looked over his shoulder to see Davis and Fred, two of the other guys that worked at the mechanics shop, talking over two cans of beer.

“You hear anythin’ ‘bout that, Arvin?” Davis asked, sipping his can.

Arvin’s heart twisted in panic but he shook his head like hadn’t heard what they were talking about, “Hear ‘bout what?”

“Few months back, the sheriff in my cousin’s hometown turned up dead. Someone shot ‘im in the woods outside o’ some small town nearby. His name was like Lodeck or Bodecker or somethin’ like that.” Davis explained the story to both of the guys.

“Eh, pro’lly had it comin’,” Your dad came entered from the storage room with a handful of bolts, “I know I’ve met some sheriffs that deserved a bullet between the eyes.”

Fred rolled his eyes, “Yeah well you’re an angry drunk so I’m sure you’d say that ‘bout anyone who took a drink from you. I’m sure this guy wasn’t that bad. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? This ain’t no wild west movie where you go gunnin’ down the law.”

“Nah, I heard he was a no good son o’ a bitch. Guess his sister and her husband got murdered the day before. Found tons of pictures o’ them kissin’ on some dead guys. Some real sick shit, Fred. Sheriff might have been in on it too. Regardless, my cousin said he ran into ‘im one time with his wife and the sheriff really was a bastard,'' Davis shrugged off Fred’s comment, refuting the tragedy Fred was trying to make Bodecker’s death by tarnishing his name.

Arvin’s heart was racing and he began to feel dizzy. The images of those few days had haunted him since they had happened but he had found himself thinking about it less and less as the days passed.

“Arvin?”

Arvin shook his head out of the clouds and snapped back into reality, “What?”

“You came into town ‘round the same time all this happened. Did you hear anythin’ about it?” Fred questioned, wiping his greasy hands on his jeans.

The young man just shook his head, “Nah, I ain’t heard nothin’ ‘bout it till now. I heard ‘bout the sister though. Sounds like she and her boyfriend were no good.”

“You know what I think?” Your dad began, picking up a wrench and pointing it in Arvin’s direction, “I think our man Arvin here did the sheriff in!”

Arvin stiffened up, “What? Why would you think that?”

“You come strollin’ along through town with nothin’ but a backpack and no backstory ‘bout the same time four people turn up murdered. Mighty suspicious.” Arvin tried his hardest to stand tall and not allow his fear to show but the tension in his jaw was bordering of painful now.

Davis swatted at your dad, “C’mon, leave the boy alone. There’s gotta be thousands of people in that area that coulda murdered them. Can’t imagine Arvin doin’ such a thing.”

Arvin was grateful for Davis’s trust. If only he deserved it.

“I’m only jokin’! Y’all a bunch of whiny little girls, can’t take a fuckin’ joke.” Your dad grumbled to himself, swatting his hand towards his coworkers.

“Ah, shut up.” Fred stood up from the table he’d been sitting at and laid back down on the dolley before sliding under the jacked up Chevy he had been tasked with. “Ain’t nobody ‘round here takes you seriously.”

Arvin watched as your dad walked past Fred, kicking him in the leg and earning a loud exclamation of annoyance, but it was as if he were disconnected from the whole scene. He had tried so hard to forget what had happened back in Knockemstiff and Coal Creek, though it seemed damn near impossible considering it had uprooted his entire life. This tiny town a few hours away was his safe haven, his new beginning. He never would have imagined that anyone this far away would have heard about the murders.

Hearing Davis and Fred bring up Bodecker’s name made Arvin’s blood turn to ice in his veins. What kinda sick fuck you gotta be to shoot a sheriff? Fred’s words played over and over in Arvin’s head. This was just what he was worried about. This was why he ran. Nobody would believe Bodecker was trying to kill him first. Self defense didn’t mean shit when it was against the law. The same with Reverend Teagarden. A man of the word? Arvin didn’t stand a chance if anyone found out what he’d done.

“Hey son,” Davis’s soft voice made Arvin nearly jump out of his skin, “Don’t take nothin’ that ol’ man says to heart. I’m sure you know since you been livin’ with him that he’s just a cranky ol’ drunk who don’t know when to shut up. You’re a good kid, Arvin. Ain’t none of us actually think you did it.”

Arvin looked down at where Davis’s hand rested on his shoulder, the same way his dad used to touch his shoulder when he was reassuring him. He forced a small appreciative nod and a strained appearance of being unbothered, “It’s alright, Davis. I know he’s just kiddin’ ‘round. I ‘ppreciate it though.”

Your father arrived at home before Arvin, much to your dismay. Elvis Presley’s Blue Hawaii album was spinning on the record player when he came into the kitchen, kicking his boots off by the door.

“Hey, daddy! How was work?” You asked, mashing a bowl of potatoes for dinner.

He made a line directly to the fridge, grabbing a beer and popping the tab off with no effort, “It was alright. Damn Gilligan blew out the transmission on his truck so I been stuck fixin’ that up all day. Lookin’ forward to this right here.” Your father lifted up the beer bottle and sipped it with satisfaction. Yeah, I’m sure you were, you thought, rolling your eyes with your back turned to your dad.

“Well, if you wanna get cleaned up, dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes. More than enough time for a shower,” you offered with a cheerful voice. Lunch with Arvin today had made your day good in a way that was hard to ruin.

“Yeah, I might go do that. What’s for dinner?” Your father walked over and peeked over your shoulder to see what you had cooking on the stove.

“Mashed potatoes, green beans, and chicken.” You cut in a few slices of butter and added them to the bowl of mashed potatoes, sprinkling some salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

Expecting some words of discouragement like you usually earned from your father, he just nodded contently and disappeared out of the kitchen towards the bathroom. You turned to watch him walk away, your mouth fallen open in pleased surprise at the fact that you just had a semi-pleasant interaction with your father for the first time in several weeks. You turned back to mixing in the now melted butter into the mashed potatoes when the front door opened yet again.

You looked back to see Arvin walking in through the living room, “Hey, Arv!”

His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and judging by the way his eyes shot up to you, as if he hadn’t expected your greeting, he had been staring at the ground when he walked in. “Hi,” he answered low and short with no emotion one way or the other.

Your brows furrowed, “Everythin’ alright?” Leaving the food on the counter and wiping your hands on your apron, you walked out into the living room towards him.

Arvin visibly took a step back and his eyes widened a little, his shoulders squaring up, “Yeah, ‘m good. Just wanna take a shower.”

Before you could get the words out, he had already begun walking away. “My dad’s already in the bathroom,” you called out after him, finally getting him to stop.

Arvin didn’t turn back to you though, only half glanced over his shoulder, “Oh, alright.” He turned back to continue his walk back to his room.

“Dinner will be ready soon!” You attempted to add, only earning a small thanks in response and the sound of Arvin’s door closing. “O-oh… okay.” You stood alone in the living room, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom and Elvis Presley’s voice filling the room but not loud enough to drown out your concern.

Dinner went by just as uncomfortably. You poked at your mashed potatoes, keeping your gaze stuck down at the food on your plate except for when you glanced over at Arvin who seemed to be actively looking anywhere except for you. This only made you roll your eyes out of frustration and stare back down at your food.

Your dad talked about his day, mostly grumbled complaints, “I don’t get nearly ‘nough respect ‘round here. Damn Fred and Davis callin’ me a drunk. What? A man can’t enjoy a damn beer without being called a drunk! Damn prudes.” When you didn’t respond, he reached over and tapped your arm, “Hey? You even listenin’?”

“Hm?” You tried to make yourself focus on what he was saying this time, “Sorry, long day. What happened?”

“See? I ain’t get no respect at work and I can’t even get no respect at my own damn house from my own damn daughter!” He grumbled, the feet of the wooden chair scraping against the ground as he stood up forcefully, swaying a little side to side but bracing himself on the wall to walk out of the room.

You didn’t even possess the mental capacity to care about his little tantrum. Your mind was swimming with confusion and, honestly, anger, at Arvin’s little unexplained silent treatment. “Okay, what’s wrong?” You asked, leaning towards Arvin.

“Nothin’.” He answered simply, taking a sip of his water. His voice was low and he still refused to make eye contact, despite nothin’ being wrong.

“That’s a lie. Everythin’ was fine this mornin’ and now you’re suddenly not talkin’ to me. Won’t even look at me! What the hell, Arvin? Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Thinking back, there wasn’t anything you had said earlier that you could imagine warranting such a negative response from Arvin so your confusion and concern had quickly turned to frustration.

Arvin shook his head, “No, no, you ain’t did nothin’ wrong.”

“Then what is it?” You practically begged him to tell you. You hated being upset at him when clearly something was bothering him but this felt like he was just playing some broody guessing game with you, something you got enough of from your dad.

Stress shone through Arvin’s eyes and he met your gaze finally, if only for a second, before looking away again. You could see there was a flicker of something you hadn’t seen in him before but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Whatever it was, it was really bothering him and you felt guilty for being upset. You just couldn’t understand why you suddenly were being ignored for something that apparently had nothing to do with you.

“I can’t tell you.”

Arvin’s admittal just made you more upset. “So you’re not mad at me but you’re ignoring me and can’t tell me why?”

Arvin hadn’t seen you look at him this way. At your father, yes, but he was unaccustomed to that raised eyebrow and frustratedly desperate crack in your voice being directed towards him. He hated it. He hated knowing that he was causing you to feel upset and helpless when he was supposed to be your escape from those exact feelings.

But he couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth. You’d think he was a monster. You’d hate him. He’d lose the one good thing he had in his life because-

Arvin shook his head, “‘M sorry.” He looked anywhere but at you because he couldn’t stand to see the way your face fell, though he could practically feel your heart fall from across the table. He didn’t need to see it. He knew.

“Fine.” You stood up and grabbed your plate, scraping the rest in the garbage and setting the plate in the sink. Your appetite was gone and your patience had snapped, not that you had been the most patient thus far anyways.

Arvin watched as you stormed out of the kitchen, grabbed your coat off the coat rack by the front door, and walked out of the house. His head hit his hands. No matter how hard he tried to protect those he cared about, he only seemed to hurt them more.

You hadn’t expected Arvin to find you here so when the door opened to the old barn, you turned around in surprise. You were curled up in your coat, sitting on an old wooden crate that had been untouched in this unused barn for God knows how long. A large window looked out over the large field that had once been the family farm but was now practically a glorified dirt lot. Your coat was wrapped tightly around your body, held in place with one hand while you held a lit cigarette with the other.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Arvin took a few steps in, his hands shoved guiltily in the pocket of his denim jacket.

You blew out a large plume of smoke that you had been holding in and looked away, “I don’t too often.”

Arvin closed the barn door behind him as he approached you and you had to fight the urge to get up and leave but you knew that made you no less immature than the way you felt he was acting.

“‘M sorry. I really am.”

You took another drag and turned to him, the moonlight illuminating his features - somehow so boy-like but so rugged - and it was hard to stay mad at him. “I am too. I don’t mean to be dramatic but I just… I don’t understand, Arv. If somethin’s wrong, you can tell me. This whole silent treatment BS with zero explanation doesn’t cut it.”

Arvin let out a heavy breath. While doing the dishes from dinner for you after you stormed off, he had had time to contemplate what to do. And he had decided. “If I tell you, it’s gonna change how you look at me.”

Your head tilted up at his cryptic opener but you said nothing, only urged him to continue with your eyes.

With a deep shaky inhale, he started his story, “I ain’t a bad man but I’ve done some bad things. Things that I thought I could run away from. I been livin’ a lie for a long time, actin’ like I ain’t hurt nobody, but it ain’t true.” Arvin paused for a moment to gauge your reaction and all he saw was fear in your eyes, just as he had feared.

A million thoughts of terrible things people were capable of ran through your head as you tried to figure out which one Arvin could possibly be guilty of, though they all felt so out of character for him. Was it murder? Assault? Rape? Thievery? The man you had come to care for so deeply now swam in a murky pool of doubt and distrust. Arvin saw all this and more in your deep, worried eyes.

“What did you do?” Your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be, cracking with fear. Until today, you hadn’t imagined Arvin capable of doing anything that could real harm to anyone, maybe aside from a stupid fight in high school or something along those lines, but you could see it in his eyes that whatever it was he was trying to confess to really was that bad.

Arvin lost his ability to speak for a moment. He had resolved to tell you everything before even coming out here to talk to you but the fear shining in your eyes already had his heart breaking. It was as if every new line of moonlight reflecting off the growing whites of your eyes was a new stain that he managed to tarnish your view of him with. Arvin had to look away because he couldn’t bear to look at you when he finally admitted his crimes, couldn’t stand to watch your face contort in fear when you realized what a monster he was.

“Y-you remember that preacher I told you ‘bout? The one that hurt my sister?”

You nodded, “Y-yeah…”

Arvin swallowed hard and he gripped his thigh tight enough to turn his knuckles white. “Well few weeks after we buried Lenora, a police officer came up ‘n told me the coroner had found out she was havin’ a baby. None of us knew before. I don’t know how but I just knew it was that no good preacher. I didn’t have any proof though so I started followin’ ‘im ‘n found out he was worse than I thought. He was no good to his wife ‘n I saw him out takin' advantage of another girl in town who was even younger than my Lenora was. He was doin’ nothin’ but hurtin’ people ‘n I… I killed im.”

Your mouth fell open, “You- You killed him?”

Arvin looked down at his feet, “I shot him.”

It was silent as you processed the information. This preacher sounded like a terrible man, abusing young girls and leading one to commit suicide. The infidelity to his wife was a moot point against his other indiscretions and even that was unacceptable. It honestly sounded like Arvin had done a service to the world, taking this monster out of it, but it was still difficult to look at him the same after knowing that he had actually shot someone.

When you didn’t respond, Arvin had decided to continue, not thinking he could cause much more damage, “I ran. Left a note for my grandma and uncle and disappeared. I tried hitchhiking my way out of town when I got picked by this couple. They seemed nice ‘nough at first but the husband, he started actin’ real weird. They pulled us way off the road. Said he wanted to take some pictures but then I saw him pull out a gun and then he tried pullin’ me outta the car. I-I panicked and I kicked the door into him ‘n I shot ‘im before he could get me.”

Arvin’s voice was cracking as tears began to fall down his face. It was one thing to replay the memories in his own head but it was another thing entirely to actually confess his sins to someone he cared so deeply about, knowing the truth would most likely hurt you. “The wife, she pulled out a gun and pointed it at me ‘n I pointed mine at her. I begged her to put the gun down. I-I didn’t wanna shoot her. I really didn’t. I was so tired of killin’ but then she apologized ‘n I knew she was gonna pull the trigger. We both shot at the same time. I got no clue how she didn’t shoot me. I fell out the car without a scratch but I when I got up, I realized I got her through the neck 'n she was gone. I panicked ‘n searched the car. Found all these pictures of her all naked and huggin’ up on some naked dead guy ‘n I knew… I knew I was gonna be next.”

Your brain sprinted a mile a minute to try and keep up with the trauma Arvin was confessing and you didn’t know whether to hug him and let him cry on you or run as far away as possible.

“Then-”

“There’s more?” You wanted to beg him to stop talking, to stop telling you about the blood on his hands, to stop telling you about all the suffering he had been through. You sounded shocked and heartbroken and yet none of these tragedies were yours.

Arvin hiccuped and sniffled in a failed attempt to hide a sob. Red had taken over his features, both physically and metaphorically. Obviously distraught by his past and now your reaction, he felt like he was beginning to spiral down that hole of darkness that he had tried so hard to claw his way out of. There were nothing but snakes down there, ready to bite him and poison his mind with the words he had fought so desperately to keep out. Murderer. Stalker. Liar. Sinner. All of these and so many more.

Yet, he nodded, feeling as if he’d still be lying if he didn’t finish telling you everything. When he nodded, you made a small squeak of disbelief.

“I-I ran,” He sniffled out, “I hitchhiked my way back to my old hometown. I didn’t know why at first but I just needed to go home. Felt like maybe I could fix what had been broken there. Went there to find it all burnt down but then this sheriff came lookin’ after me. Turns out he was that lady’s brother - the one who shot at me and had the pictures of the cut up dead guys. He was all angry and wanted to kill me for shootin’ his sister. I tried… I tried to tell ‘im that she was no good and that she was gonna kill me but he didn’t wanna listen. He was shootin’ at me and… and… I ain’t had no choice.”

It was silent, aside from the ambient bugs chirping outside. You had tried so hard to focus on Arvin’s face but you had long since zoned out visually, only able to focus on the words he was saying. How could he have gone through all of this? How could your wonderful, amazing, beautiful Arvin Russell have survived so much suffering and been forced to murder people? Murder.

“Please say somethin’.”

Your lips quivered as your vision came back into view and all you saw was a tearful, fearful, remorseful boy before you on the brink of falling apart. Arvin’s hair was messy from having run his hands through it, his eyes were red and puffy from the tears, his breathing was shaky from remembering. There were no words.

You threw your arms around his neck and held him tightly to you. You didn’t know what else to do. How does someone respond to information like this? There was so much trust that Arvin needed to put in you to tell you - you couldn’t freak out.

“You don’t hate me?” His hands flew to your arms, prying them off his neck so he could see your face.

Your head shook, “How could I hate you for what you did?”

“I murdered four people.”

“You took out a disgusting predator who practically killed your sister and was harming who knows how many other girls. Then you killed a couple of murderers who pulled guns on you first in self defense. And then, yet again, you were put in a life or death situation with a sheriff who was shootin’ at you for killin’ his murderin’ sister. Three of those were self defense and I’d dare say that first one was a public service. You have nothin’ to be sorry for. You have nothin’ to regret. You did what you had to do to survive.” You squeezed Arvin’s hands tightly, running your soft thumbs over the lightly calloused skin of his knuckles.

Arvin looked down at your hands on his, hands that were so much smaller than his own but right now felt so encompassing and comforting, as if they wrapped his own in a blanket of protection. He couldn’t believe you were okay with this. He was barely okay with it. “I don’t regret it but I didn’t wanna have to do it. If I coulda let that lady go, if she only woulda listened to me ‘n put the gun down I wouldn’t o’ had to pull the trigger. I coulda let the cops deal with it. Same with the sheriff. If only he woulda listened… I only wanted to shoot the preacher. I was okay with havin’ that on my conscience. But I had no idea how outta control that day was gonna get. All those cold dead eyes starin’ up at you, watchin’ the life drain from someone’s face ‘n knowin’ you’re the one who caused that... Even if they were real fucked up people, it ain’t a sight that’s easy to see.”

“I can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like, Arvin.” Your hand slid up his arm to rest on his bicep and you leaned your forehead onto his shoulder. His arm snaked around your body and held you close but cautious, like he was scared if he held you too tightly that you’d be scared he’d hurt you too. Of course, you weren’t. The thought did cross your mind that perhaps it was unwise to trust a man who just admitted to killing four people but that wasn’t Arvin and you knew it. “You may have killed people but that does not make you a killer. You’re just someone who was put in some really hard situations and had to make some tough choices.”

You pulled back and put your hand on his cheek, slightly scratchy from not shaving that day, and you spoke gently, “You are wonderful, Arvin. You are caring and hard working and loyal and willing to stand up for what is right. You are everything good in this world-”

“I hurt people-”

“You protect people,” you corrected, “‘N if some bad people had to get hurt to keep the good ones safe, well maybe they shouldn’t have been such bad people.”

Arvin could have melted into a puddle at your feet, and likely would have if you hadn’t been holding him. Never had he expected to tell anyone his terrible deeds and in every imagined scenario in which he did, it had never ended well. He had imagined you running for the hills, screaming at him to get out, maybe even threatening him physically out of fear that he’d hurt you now (which he’d never dream of doing).

But you didn’t do any of that. Gentleness and understanding were far from the reaction he’d expected or even felt like he deserved but nevertheless here you were holding him and reassuring him that he wasn’t the monster he’d called himself for so many months.

“I love you.”

His admission surprised you but Arvin felt fully confident in his words. He had never known what love felt like - romantic love at least - but this was damn near the closest thing he could imagine to it. You occupied his thoughts every waking moment, your face and your voice swimming around his imagination in a beautiful ocean of warmth and kindness and goodness that he would gladly drown in. You were strong and responsible and understanding and oh so beautiful. Much like him, you’d been handed a shit hand by life and struggled each day to make the best of it. Arvin cared about you so much it scared him because he had not felt this compulsion towards anyone since Lenora had passed. After losing everything he’d ever loved, he was scared that if he admitted that he loved you, life would take you away from him as well. If there was one thing that you did, though, it was take away Arvin’s fear.

“I love you too, Arvin.” He pulled your body flush against his when you responded, a heavy sigh of relief leaving his chest. Much like Arvin, you hadn’t known what real love felt like. You’d even started believing that maybe you weren’t meant for such a luxury.

Now you and Arvin felt like the richest people in the world, despite having almost nothing to your names. As long as you were in each others’ arms, you had everything. You were each others’ trust, honesty, comfort, compassion, and protection.

_______

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